#this is probably what sky walks into on a random Tuesday morning

[onii-pamn]

Sleeping on that damn mattress all those fics are talking about

[usmsgutterson]

Certainly- Kaz Brekker

The reader is a bit of an astrology and astronomy alike geek for this, which I hope y’all don’t mind! Also, in this case, phones exist so lets pretend that phones exist in Ketterdam, making it a bit of a modern au, I guess!

Also, this’ll probably be a bit ooc for Kaz

Fic type- angsty fluff

Warnings- blood, mentions of death, and the reader is sick (nothing specific, I just kind of took random symptoms and made up a word for the sickness)

You were determined to see the stars before you went, and as you grew sicker, none of the crows knew when that would be, so, after a little convincing, the crows had gotten Colm to let you spend a couple of months at his farm in Novyi Zem, where the stars were the clearest at night, not burdened by light pollution or the screams of lively cities. 

It was the seven of you crammed into a basement, sharing beds, but none of them cared, and you were just glad to be with the people you called family. You were happy that they were with you, that Kaz was willing to wheel you everywhere when you got too weak to stand, that Jesper still made jokes, even despite watching you deteriorate. You were grateful for Inejs smile, Wylans music, Ninas impeccable tastes and Matthias and his big arms that could lift you and put you down without issue. 

The six of them had started taking shifts taking you outside. Nina took you outside Sunday nights, Matthias Mondays, Wylan Tuesdays, Jesper Thursdays, Inej Fridays and Kaz Saturdays. Wednesdays you rested up; ate when it was time to eat, used the bathroom when you needed, took a shower if it were the appropriate time, but other than that, you slept.

It was Kaz’s day to wheel you out, and you’d had a particularly rough day that day. Inej went with him, promising not to intrude on the time that you would spend together. She’d do backflips and run across the roof of the farm if you asked her to, but she’d not interrupt otherwise. 

“I love the stars,” you whispered, leaning back in your wheelchair and tightening the hold of the blanket over your lap. “Thank you both. For doing this.” 

“Don’t you worry, love,” Kaz murmured. “Just keep your eyes on the stars, okay?”

“We’re happy to do this,” Inej added. “All of us are. Really.” It was like both of them could sense it as well as you could. You had a feeling that the night would end terribly, just like the morning had begun.

You’d woken up only to need to rush to the toilet immediately, blood coming up your throat like bile, staining your skin and leaving your bottom lip red as a cherry. 

Kaz had been at your side in a minute, Nina and Wylan right behind him. Wylan kept your hair away from the sides of your face, Nina slowed your heartrate and Kaz wet a cloth with cold water to get your body temp down. 

Kaz had forced himself to stay in the moment, to not let his thoughts stray to the urge to sleep in the same bed as you to make sure that nothing happened while you slept--to be there in case something did--but to stay on the sun as it set and the faraway sound of Wylan playing his flute with the window open so that you’d be able to hear it. 

Once you’d gotten settled under a tree, Inej ran off, making her way inside and up to the barns roof, where she sat, keeping a watch from a distance as Kaz let you rest your head against his shoulder, gloved hand interlaced with yours. 

“I love you, Brekker,” you murmured. “Please don’t forget that. Ever.” 

“I won’t,” he whispered. “You’re gonna stay around and get better until we can spar again, and you can beat my ass even though I’ve my cane as a weapon.” 

“You know full well I can’t promise that,” you wished that you could. You desperately wished. “I’m going to die young, Kaz. I’m not gonna get to eighteen, much less eighty.” Kaz hated you for that.

He hated you because everything that you said somehow managed to be right. It was like you had a sixth sense for that kind of thing, and while, on missions, it proved useful, in that scenario, it just proved annoying. 

“You’re gonna make it to eighteen if it kills me,” he informed you. “I’ll take you around the globe if I need to, just to make sure you end up okay. I will not live a life without you in it, Y/N.” 

“You’re sweet,” you murmured. “Incredibly sweet.”

“Only to you, L/N.” That was the last bit of conversation for a long while as the sun set and the stars came out.

“Did you know that the moon isn’t circular?” You pointed lazily to it, bright and beautiful amongst the even brighter stars. “According to scientests, it’s actually shaped like a lemon!” Kaz didn’t fight his smile.

Of course you’d be spouting off the little factoids you knew about space. You loved it, how vast and crazy it all seemed. 

“And that the clouds at the center of the Milky Way smell like raspberries and rum?” Kaz snorted.

“Okay, now, theres no way that ones true!” 

“Oh,” you leaned up, booping his nose without a care in the world. “But it is! It’s in a study somewhere, I think! Look it up!” He laughed, pulling you closer to him as you rambled.

Inej had started doing running flips across the roof, spinning and dancing and no doubt laughing as she did. Kaz knew it was an elaborate effort to get you to smile, and it seemed to work as she moved; a delightful silhouette amongst a star filled sky. 

“I love you, Kaz Brekker,” you whispered. “You don’t need to say it back, but I really, truly do love you with every bone that exists in my body.”

“I love you too,” he said it without hesitation. “And I’ll love you until we’re old and grey, I swear it.”

“Don’t hold me to that promise,” you murmured. “You know how bad this is. Stop thinking that I’ll make it into the new year. I probably wont.”

“You will if it kills me, Y/N,” he gave your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I’ll drain the bank dry if I have to, I swear to Ghezen.”

You didn’t say anything after, too exhausted to even think about starting an argument with him, simply not wanting to. 

But then, an hour later, Kaz felt fear trickle into his stomach like it hadn’t ever in his life.

“And then theres Supernova. It’s like a star that’s dying having it’s last celebration. Like when we get a really big win, or when we get away with what we intended to get away with, and we all get shitfaced before we collapse onto our beds and sleep for the night? A supernova is a dying stars explosion. It’s the last celebration that the star has before it dies out.” you’d been rambling.

“Tonight is my... tonight is my...” Kaz had called for Nina right then and there, screaming her name while he felt you go slack against him.

“Zenik!” He screamed, not caring at all if he were to wake up Jespers father. “Zenik, call in that fucking favor with the bloody Ravkan prince!” Matthias came barreling out after her, phone in hand, already speaking to someone as Nina began working, steadying your heart and trying her hardest to keep you alive. 

Kaz had to force himself to walk away from it all, pushing his feet away after giving your shoulders one last squeeze and walking far out into the field. 

Once he was sure he was out of earshot, he couldn’t stop himself. Tears flooded his eyes and he found himself glaring at the sky, wanting to scream, wanting to shout, wishing that there was someone around that he could gut like a fish. 

“Saints,” he murmured through gritted teeth. “Sankt Ilya, Sankt Adrik, Sankta Alina of The Fold, I know I am a terrible person, but Y/N is not. They’re good, they smile, they laugh, they’re kind to others when those people probably don’t deserve their kindness. I know I’m damned, I know that you probably strongly dislike me, but they’re different.” He’d never asked the Saints for anything before, and he never would again.

“Please, just, let them live. Let them get the life that they deserve. I’ll do my best to make them happy, but you have to let me,” he wiped the tears from his eyes as they came. “They deserve the life that you’re so willing to take away, and all I ask is that you don’t take it.” He heard the sounds of the ambulance car and raced back to you, gripping your hand as they helped you onto a stretcher and out of the field, through the house and out the entrance. 

I won’t lose them, he told himself. A world without them is one that’s unbearable. 

O N E Y E A R L A T E R 

You laughed as Nina chased you through the halls of the Little Palace, running quickly through the endless corridors, your laughter carrying through them as you kept yourself in front of Nina.

Nikolai had kept you in the Os Altan palace since that night, where Inej laughed and danced and did her flips, whilst Wylan played the piano and Kaz sat beside you, listening to your ramblings without a care in the world. 

“You seem delighted,” Nikolai noticed as you stopped in front of his office. “I’ve never seen you walk without that Brekker boy at your side, much less run while Zenik is on your tail!” You shrugged, laughing as Ninas front crashed into your back.

“This is the best I’ve felt in a year,” you murmured. “I figured I’d see if Nina was up to chase me around this morning, and I haven’t stopped running since!” You peered in through the open office door, looking for that familliar mop of dark brown hair.

Nina wrapped her arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze. “He’ll be here any minute,” she murmured. “He and the boys are just finishing up a job for Nik in East Ravka, but Matthias told me the second that they’d left!”

“Trust me. Y/N,” Nikolais smooth voice murmured. “I put them on one of my fastest boats. I knew how long it’d take them to get from here to east Ravka and back, and I promised him he’d be here when you finally awoke.” 

“Hows it feel, anyway?” Zoya appeared at his side. “Eighteen, I mean.” You shrugged.

“I miss Kaz,” you murmured bluntly. “I hate that I have to tell him that he was right, but I still miss him.” 

Nikolai took Zoyas hand, pulling her close as you and Nina watched, smiles on your faces. 

“Young love,” Zoya teased. “Zenik, let go of them so that they can turn around.” Nina obeyed, letting you go and moving to lean against the doorway with Nikolai and Zoya. 

You turned, and smiled when your gazes met. “You were right, Brekker,” you murmured, walking toward him as he held out your gift to you. “I’m better now, and the second that you’re ready to spar, I’m gonna beat your ass, even though you’ve your cane as a weapon.” He grabbed your pinky with his the moment you were within distance.

“How’d the heist go?” You murmured once the two of you had walked out of earshot. 

“Good,” Kaz let himself be close to you as you two moved, squeezing your pinky as you slowed your steps. “Plan went off without a hitch, for three idiots and a mastermind with a limp. I brought you this from it,” he held the gift out to you again, and you took it in your free hand, examining it.

“I had to ask permission for that,” he murmured. “I had to get the Ravkan kings seal of approval to steal that for you.” You laughed, looking it over.

It was a journal. Black and leather bound, pages crisp and untouched. A pen was tucked into the cover. 

“I promise, we’ll go home soon,” you responded. “I miss Ketterdam. I could go for some waffles.” 

“Don’t they have waffles here?” Kaz questioned.

“Not Ketterdam waffles, love. Ketterdam waffles are unlike any pathetic waffle from here! Doused in syrup and whip cream--” You let out a satisfied sigh. “So good it’s almost surreal!” Kaz smirked.

“Waffle date when you’re well enough to return home then?” 

“Certainly.”

[hockeylvr59]

Hi. Number 1: taking a rain walk with cale. You can choose the time. Thank you !

So with all the UMass content I've been digging up I decided to take a trip back in time with this one. So we're setting this fall 2018 when Cale was a sophomore at UMass. I'm lowkey in love with this one. Big thanks to @bqstqnbruin for the help with this plot concept. (1,610 words)

~~~~~~~~

Ellie was so going to owe you for this. Dodging beer spilling out of a cup, you pushed your way through the crowded frat house, wincing as the volume of the music somehow got even louder. Your roommate Ellie had made plans to meet a guy here tonight and she’d pleaded with you to come with her in case he didn’t show or things didn’t turn out how she expected. But, as soon as she had spotted him in the crowd upon your arrival, she had disappeared and you hadn’t seen her since. That had been nearly two hours ago. Like a good friend you’d sent her a text twenty minutes or so ago checking in and you had just gotten a reply of a thumbs up and that they had left to go to a diner off-campus.

Of course, they had. A heads-up text would have been nice.

Though you wanted to be mad at her, it was hard to be when you knew how excited she had been for this date. Still, a packed frat house on a Friday night was one of the last places you wanted to spend your time. Trying to weave your way toward the door, you tripped over something and landed smack against a solid chest. A pair of hands quickly reacted, catching you and helping you regain your balance. Quickly you mumbled an apology, though it wasn’t your fault there was a drunk person sleeping on the floor with their leg in the middle of the path.

“No worries, you okay?” A deep voice questioned, causing you to look up. When you did, your eyes met a pair of reddened cheeks that were familiar to anyone on campus who didn’t live under a rock.

Cale Makar.

The hockey team’s superstar defenseman who was back for his second season despite the chance to make the jump to the NHL.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” You stated, snapping out of your daze. “Just need to get out of here.”

Cale’s gaze softened in concern and he quickly worked using his taller frame to clear a path for you until you reached the slightly less crowded front porch. It was still loud outside but at least you didn’t have to scream to hear yourself think. Slowing, you leaned against a railing just trying to catch your breath and rid your senses of some of the stench of cheap alcohol. You didn’t expect him to stay close so when he leaned against the railing beside you, you were slightly surprised.

“Did we have Western Thought together last fall?” He asked after a moment, the question catching you off guard. You thought back to your schedule last year and then bit your lip considering that query.

“Was that Tuesday/Thursday morning, Herter Hall?” Cale must have nodded because he spoke again a moment later, a smile evident in his voice.

“I thought you looked familiar.” He mused, offering out a hand. “Cale.” He greeted, introducing himself officially. Introducing yourself in return, you asked him what he had thought about the ridiculous question that had been on the final for that class. You may not remember much but that question had screwed over half the class and you certainly hadn’t forgotten the stress you’d felt waiting for grades to drop after that exam.

That question sparked an entire conversation and before you knew it, it was almost 1am.

“I should really head back to my dorm.” You admitted a bit reluctantly. “Thanks for the chat and making this party not a total bust for me.” You joked, looking up at the sky which was starting to look like rain.

“What dorm are you in?” Cale asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Grayson.” You replied with a shrug even as Cale’s eyes went a little wide.

“I’ll walk you.” He immediately declared.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine.” You assured him. Grayson was all the way across campus and you weren’t sure where he was living.

“I’ll walk you,” Cale repeated, signaling that he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “It’s late and you shouldn’t walk across campus by yourself, not with all these idiots around.” The way he phrased his explanation showed that he knew you could handle yourself but that didn’t mean that you should have to.

“Fine. Thank you.” You declared, shooting him a slightly exasperated look. Cale gave you a semi-dimpled smile and motioned for you to lead the way. As you walked toward the admin building and fine arts center you continued chatting about everything and nothing all at once. Conversation came easy and even if you didn’t want to admit it, you were a bit taken at how smart Cale was.

You had reached the western edge of the pond, with the intention of cutting across the northern shore to make your way to your residential area, when a loud boom sounded across the sky out of nowhere. Before you could even react, torrential rain was pelting you both, soaking you to the bone. Quickly, Cale herded you over toward the library and inside. The building was quiet as he guided you up to one of the study floors murmuring that you should wait out some of the heavy rain. Knowing that you really should get home and to bed, you wanted to protest but then a flash of lightning cracked across the sky. Maybe you should wait out the storm a little bit.

Moving into a study room overlooking the pond, you shivered slightly from the air conditioning blowing through the building.

“Come here,” Cale murmured from the spot on the floor where he had settled. For a moment you eyed the chairs but then decided maybe you shouldn’t get them soaked too and the floor was probably a better option. Though you sat with some space between you and Cale, it wasn’t long before he was tugging you closer murmuring that he can’t keep you warm if you’re so far away. With another chill racing up your spine, you shifted to press against him, sighing softly at the warmth he radiated even through wet clothes.

The two of you sat in silence for a while before you heard Cale murmur your name softly.

“Yeah?” You questioned, trying not to yawn.

“Did you know that the architect of this building forgot to account for the weight of the books in his plans and that’s why only every other floor has them?” Cale stated.

“One that was totally random.” You teased softly. “Two, that’s 1000% a myth.”

When you peeked up at Cale, his cheeks were even pinker than before and they matched his lips as he did this little mindless tick you had picked up on already.

“Totally true.” He defends softly, making you giggle slightly.

“It’s not but that’s okay, you aren’t the first person to buy that myth.” You assured him. Though you didn’t notice, Cale’s face fell into a bit of a frown and he murmured under his breath that there goes trying to impress you.

Watching the rain again, you couldn’t help but yawn. Slowly your head drifted down to rest against Cale’s shoulder and you must have dozed off because the next thing you knew, Cale was murmuring your name again, trying to wake you.

“C’mon sleepy. The rain has let up a bit. This is probably our best chance to get you home.” He explained, urging you to sit up before he moved from underneath you and then pulled you up onto your feet.

Leaving the library, you started walking again through the rain, Cale chattering non-stop. You were sure it was his attempt to keep you awake and you appreciated it. At the same time though, his voice was so soothing, you almost wanted to curl right back up against his shoulder and fall asleep while he talked to you.

By the time you finally reached your dorm, it was nearly 2:30 in the morning. With the rain, a normal half-hour walk had taken three times as long. Standing in a sheltered overhang, you turned to thank Cale for making sure you got home safely.

“Definitely the most interesting first date I think I’ve been on,” Cale replied with a tired smile, his eyes still somehow bright. When your brain processed his words, your jaw dropped.

“Date?” You prodded causing Cale to hum and shrug, glancing down at his watch.

“I mean we’ve spent the last three and a half hours together talking and walking through campus. Pretty sure we can call that a date.” He insisted. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach and you ran your fingers through your wet hair. Cale was calling this a date. That was...wow.

“A date huh…” You finally breathed. “Guess that means I better get a good night kiss. Though technically it’s definitely early morning now.” Cale’s fingers slid around your waist to press against your lower back gently as he crowded closer into your space and after a moment of his eyes searching yours, he leaned down for a kiss, his lips pressing against yours chastely but firmly.

One kiss turned into two and then three before your yawning caused Cale to pull away. After asking for your number so he could take you on a non-rain date, he kissed your cheek and murmured for you to go take a warm shower, put on dry clothes, and then get some sleep.

Your lips still tingled slightly as you climbed into bed and you couldn’t help but think that maybe you were the one that was going to have to owe Ellie.

[coeurdastronaute]

Nerd 14

Previously on Nerd

There weren’t many things considered as decorations in the house on the corner of Inglewood Street. The old stone house, with its black shutters and manicured lawn hid behind a stately oak and the polished Porsche in the driveway, glowed as a beacon in the neighborhood, of perfection and wealthy modesty. Inside, it was less populated than one might expect, never fully lived-in, at least not to the casual observer. 

Clarke moved her way down the stairs as she balanced the bag on her shoulder, fully prepared for work and then studying with her girlfriend on a fairly boring Saturday night. For the first time in a long time, she looked at the sparse frames of pictures of her family. 

Unsure of what made her pause, she furrowed, pushing her eyebrows tightly together and leaning into the image of her mother and father on a random date when they were together in college. They were carefree and at some bar trivia night. Abby hugged Jake’s bicep and nearly hid in his shoulder as he leaned forward, other arm lifted to interject an answer. He was smiling wide despite his eagerness, the flash ricocheting off part of his large glasses. His hair was floppy and fully, swept to the side and neatly arranged, while Abby was brimming with life. Clarke loved the candid picture because sometimes she looked at it, and these were two people who had entire lives and experiences and she forgot that. They probably got butterflies like she did when Lexa smiled at her. They probably spent hours excitedly waiting to see the other. 

In that picture, her mother wasn’t the person she was now, though both seemed insanely far away from Clarke. This college-aged person was alive, vibrant, in-love, awake, eager, and not cheating on her husband. The body language alone showed how much she adored him. 

In that picture, her father was the funny, charming man she remembered, not the angry, frustrated man who was skin and bones, who couldn’t eat, who couldn’t swallow, who had difficulties moving most days and remembering his own daughter others. He was alive as well. He was the man everyone wanted to sit beside for some reason, for som inexplicable reason he had this… he had a spark that drew those to him like a moth to a flame, except he was that flame, and he shared his light eagerly with those around him. 

Clarke relaxed her face after a few moments of looking and seeing and trying to find some kind of detail in that picture that would indicate that the couple in it would know what their life would like like two decades later. There wasn’t a single indication, and that terrified her. 

“Did you finish you math?” her mother’s voice called from the hallway, hearing her daughter shift and move to look at the next picture without seeing her first. 

“Yes.” 

The next image was a very tiny Clarke on her father’s shoulders and her mother hugging his waist as they all stood beneath a redwood tree. They had hiking gear, shorts, sunglasses, hats and sunscreen. They were all smiling. They were a family. 

“Did you email me that draft of your personal essay for applications?” 

Clarke gave up perusing, no longer feeling the yearn for that family unit that was far away. She rolled her eyes and stomped her way down the steps to find her mother sorting through envelopes and mail. 

“No.” 

“Why not?” Abby didn’t look up as she flipped.

“Because I’m a junior, and I have five months before applications are due.”

“That’s no excuse not to be prepared. Maybe if you didn’t spend so much time chasing after some gir--”

“Who am I chasing after?” Clarke scoffed, crossing her arms and peering at her mother. “Do you mean helping Lexa on her submission for film school? Do you mean tennis practice? Do you mean working part time? Do you mean having a social life?” 

“Considerate that you can help someone else get into college.” 

“It’s going to take her months to edit, which I can’t-- I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

That did it. Clarke knew it would. Clarke new an overt expression of her own independence would trigger her mother. She knew arguing and not appearing to care about college would give her the satisfaction of a righteous fight. She wanted it. It’d been brewing for about a week and a half, ever since Clarke said she was going prom dress shopping without her. Ever since Clark forgot to tell her about spending the night camping with Lexa and the film crew while the powered through the project. Ever since Clarke didn't’ come home for dinner last Tuesday and then raved about Mrs. Woods’ garlic chicken. Tiny things Clarke did with spite because she didn’t know what else to do, because she couldn’t do anything else. 

Abby’s nostrils flared and Clarke jutted her hip, shrugging to herself as she dug for her phone, ready to go to work and escape the house and the persistent smell of medical equipment and cleaner that haunted her until she was about two blocks from the house. 

“I’ll be home around midnight.” 

“Like hell you will. You’ll be home right after your shift.” 

“No,” Clarke paused as she turned to leave. “I’m going over Lexa’s to study. We’re watching a Cary Grant movie.” 

“You’re under the misconception that you get to make your own schedule and plans without asking permission. But that is not the case, Clarke.” 

“I’ve been doing fine.” 

“You’ve barely been home. Your father is--”

“Right there, in that room, asleep. I know this because I spent the morning with him. We made pancakes and played a game of cribbage. We talked about school and Lexa and I showed him pictures of the past week of my life. And I helped him with his meds because he’s having a bit of a flare. I told him I’d see him in the morning for omelettes because we’ve been watching cooking shows together and he wants to try the french style. I know exactly what is going on with my father.” 

She hadn’t meant to, but her voice began to raise as she spoke. Clarke felt her fist shake. She felt her muscles tighten and her jaw clench. She was okay with being considered lazy and unmotivated, but to be accused of negligence was uncalled for, especially from someone like her mother. 

“Don’t you raise your voice! You are greatly mistaken as to the nature of our relationship. I am your mother, and I am sick of your attitude, and your priorities not being your father and your family or your education.” 

“Lexa has nothing to do with any of that. Are you just mad I’m dating a girl? Or that I don’t care what you think anymore?” 

Slightly taken aback by her daughter, by her words, by her actions, by her entire demeanor over the past few months and frankly just sick of dealing with being the bad guy. 

“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Abby shook her head. 

“I could say the same thing.” 

The two stared at each other before Clarke shook her head and adjusted her bag. She toyed with her keys in her pockets before checking her phone again. 

“I’m going to be late for work. I’ll be back tonight.” 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Abby insisted again. “You’re grounded indefinitely.” 

“Except I’m not,” Clarke sighed and shook her head. “I’m not because I don’t care anymore. I genuinely don’t.”

“You’re going to. Give me your keys and your phone.” 

“No.” 

“I’m not joking, Clarke. You’re going to need to readjust your priorities and attitude.”

“I think you should take your own advice,” Clarke insisted as she reached the front door. “Or are you too busy fucking Kane to realize that there is no more family here?” 

With a satisfying slam, she yanked the door shut. The anger that was stationed in her shoulders dissipated with the noise and movement. Clarke stood there in the quiet of her perfect neighborhood, the flapping of the flag lazily moving in the spring breeze was all she heard at first. Then the birds came. Then a lawnmower started in the distance. 

Clarke felt lighter than she’d felt in a long time. She also felt emptier than any other time in her life. It was officially the end, and now she had to deal with that because the anger and the hurt and the betrayal was all she’d had in her for what felt like months. It hadn’t made anything better, and it certainly ruined everything, but Clarke took some solace in the fact that now she could try to fill herself up with something else. 

XXXXXXXXXX

The party at Bellamy Blake’s house was in full swing by the time Lexa made her way up the winding driveway and into the belly of the beast. She wasn’t sure how she ended up there exactly, except that her girlfriend texted and said to show up. That seemed to be enough of a reason, though Lexa wasn’t particularly prepared. They’d had plans. Quiet plans. Private plans. Movie plans. 

And now Lexa was going to her girlfriend’s ex’s party. 

She shoved her hands in her pockets as she moved through the crowd, clearly not getting the memo that jeans were not entirely good enough attire, and in fact she seemed to be extremely overdressed. Her eyes bugged slightly as she watched a girl from her physics class walk by in a very tiny, very teeny lime green bikini. Lexa became suddenly aware of the appeal of such things, as if she hadn’t noticed them before, but then MIchelle who sat diagonally in front of her third period looked like that and she gulped. 

The music thumped loudly. The beats were rattling the walls and shaking the windows while the screams and giggles of her classmates sought to shatter glass. It wasn’t like the other parties she’d been to with Clarke. It wasn’t even like thrones Anya dragged her to when she visited. This was a night of debauchery and she hadn’t had time to prepare. 

And as much as she saw everyone else wearing bikinis, she hadn’t thought about Clarke wearing one. She’d seen Clarke’s boobs before. That was nice. But there was something to her girlfriend in a bikini that was… good. Very good, even. 

Lexa pushed her glasses up slightly on her nose and stared. 

“What are you doing here?” Gus asked, approaching quietly. She didn’t move or say anything else, just stared from across the pool, the steam billowing upward to ward the sky while everyone seemed to glow blue and green and red, the lights alternating around them, the flames of the fire pits dancing to keep everyone warm. The warm glow of the lights inside were lost on the white-blue shade to the water. 

“Lexa, focus,” he snapped his fingers in front of her face. “What are you doing here? Your sister would kill me if she knew you were at a Blake party.” 

“How is it different than any other party?” 

“It just is.” 

“Because of the pool? I’ve been to pool parties.” 

It hadn’t been since seventh grade and didn’t look like an episode of a CW show, but still, she’d been to a pool party with many of the same cast of characters that were currently on display. It was before puberty, but still. 

“We need to get you home.” 

“Clarke invited me.” 

“It doesn’t matter. This isn’t your scene.” 

“I can be in any scene. I’ve watched every John Hughes movie.”

“This is more of an episode of Euphoria than an 80s teen flick,” Gus sighed and took another swig from his cup. “And I fully believe you would fit in fine with Molly Ringwald.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” Lexa nodded. “I’ll be fine.” 

She took her eyes off of her girlfriend long enough to assure her friend that she was perfectly fine now. She was dating the head cheerleader. She’d been to parties and seen--

“Gus-- is that cocaine?” 

“Okay, yeah, we have to get you out of here,” he shook his head and tossed his empty cup into a flowerbed. 

“Is it really?” she asked, craning her neck as he pushed her forward. “I’ve never see that in real life before. People actually do that thing with the credit cards and dollar bills? Astounding. Where does one get cocaine?” 

“You don’t need to know that.” 

“I’m not going to do it. I’m just curious.” 

They only made it a few steps before the ran into a sopping body. A tall, muscular, tan, perfectly chiseled and dripping body. It was the body of an actual god. It was the body of the perfect specimen, with biceps and the long swimmer cuts that pointed firmly toward his… his-ness. 

“Gus, long time, man. How you been?” Bellamy Blake grinned before slipping his cup in his teeth as he hugged the other football player. 

“Not too bad. Heard you’re heading to Oregon in the fall?” 

“Yeah, partial scholarship. We’ll see what happens,” he shrugged. “Staying close?” 

“Yeah, St. Johns, about three hours away.” 

“Full ride?” 

“Yeah. I got offered half to OSU, but would rather not have to pay anything.” 

“No, that’s smart.” 

The whole time they spoke, Lexa watched Clarke’s ex intently. She frowned to herself and wondered how her girlfriend broke up with him. He was effortlessly cool. He was huge. He looked like he knew how to go down on a girl, and Lexa was still apprehensive. She wished she could fast forward in life until she was really good at sex. 

She watched him grin and sip from his red cup, meeting her eyes curiously as Gus explained something about his college recruitment process. 

“I don’t think we’ve ever met before. I’m Bellamy.” 

He held out his hand. And though she didn’t want to do it, she sighed and shook his hand. 

“Sorry, I should have introduced you. This is Lexa.” 

“Lexa… Lexa…” He mulled. 

“Anya Woods’ sister.” 

“Wow, you’re Anya’s little sister?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How is she? I forgot she had a little sister. I remember her little brother died-- oh shit.” 

“Yeah.” 

“We were just heading out,” Gus interrupted. 

“I was actually just going to go talk to Clarke.” 

“Why would you--”

Before anything else could be said, before anything else could transpire between the two of them, before Gus had to interrupt again, Clarke appeared, launching herself into her girlfriend’s arms, wrapping her own around her neck, her body still slightly damp from the pool she must have just climbed out of during the awkward introduction. 

“You’re here. I’m so happy,” Clarke hummed against Lexa’s warm neck. She buried herself there, suffocating herself happily, slightly tipsy. 

“I told you I’d stop by.” 

Clarke kissed her girlfriend’s neck. She leaned most of her body against her there and giggled, oblivious to the eyes, too drunk to care about anything else happening. 

“I am have the worst day. Maybe the worst week. Maybe the worst year ever. No, wait. Definitely the worst year, and today I finally told my mom everything and then left. So Yeah. It’s been terrible. I got drunk.” 

“Not the healthiest coping mechanism.”

“Not a bit,” Clarke grinned, agreeing eagerly and with a wide grin. She leaned forward and kissed her girlfriend despite her words. 

“You can be healthy tomorrow,” Lexa offered. “You okay?” 

“As okay as can be.” 

There was some throat clearing that happened behind them, and Lexa felt a burning in her ears and chest at the display, unaccustomed to it all. 

“So this is your new girlfriend?” Bellamy asked, looking at the pair. 

“Lex, I suppose you’ve met my ex,” Clarke gestured. 

“Kind of.” 

“Is this party a little much?”

“If I remember correctly, this was exactly the kind of thing you liked. We went to many a party in our tenure,” Bellamy shrugged, lazily leaning against a counter. “Things changed since I left, I guess.” 

“I enjoyed not thinking,” Clarke offered. “You were great for that.” 

Gus and Lexa looked between the two and then at each other. She was almost certain she didn’t know what was happening, but that certainly, something was, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. 

“You moved on quick, huh?” 

“Hey, step back,” Gus interrupted as Bellamy took a single step. “This is Anya’s sister.” 

“Woods?” he furrowed. “You’re dating Anya Woods’ kid sister?” 

“Yup,” Clarke nodded. 

“I heard she was--”

“Standing right here,” Gus finished. 

Lexa felt Clarke’s hand move into her own and she smiled despite the fact that she was picking up a drunk girl at her college guy ex’s party. There was a lot in that sentence she wasn’t happy about, now that she thought about it. 

“You ready to get out of here?” Lexa asked innocently, ignoring the rest. 

“I think we still have a few more shots lined up, Clarke,” Bellamy smiled and Lexa understood the need to punch. 

Noticeably torn, she looked at her girlfriend and back at her ex before realizing that she was actually drunk, and that wasn’t good. Lexa smiled softly and rubbed her girlfriend’s back. She kind of imagined how it must have felt to implode and take her mother down with her. Lexa remembered the feeling of telling her father she was gay and sad. Clarke’s implosion didn’t seem as successful as her own, and Lexa was more than happy to try to help in whatever way she could. 

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” 

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded quickly. “I’ll text my mom to let her know.” 

“You’re seriously leaving?” The college football player and terrible ex scoffed. “The night is still young. It’s barely after eleven.” 

“Thanks for getting me drunk, but I should probably go do something better.” 

“Thanks for showing me around,” Lexa offered nodding her head slightly toward the host before he could argue. “Have a good night. I’ll see you on Monday, Gus.”

“Get home safe,” the linebacker warned. 

Slightly dumbfounded, Bellamy Blake stood there, hands on his hips as he watched his ex weave through the crowd of people and disappear. As much s everything stayed the same, he couldn’t shake the sinking feeling of change, and how averse he was to it. 

XXXXXXXXXX

“Here, you can, uh,” Lexa quickly moved through her bedroom, leaving her girlfriend standing by the bed. “I have some old sweats if you want.” 

Already, Clarke began taking off her pants, and Lexa quickly looked in the drawers of her dresser. She felt the tips of her ears burn slightly as she looked over her shoulder, her girlfriend slumping into the bed, pants lost to the floor. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to that party. I knew it,” Clarke sighed, rubbing her face with both hands to ride herself of the spinning. “But I didn’t care. I just wanted to… you know…”

“You had it out with your mom. You just anted to go far away. I get it.” 

“Don’t be nice to me. I knew better than to go, especially to anything involving Bellamy Blake.” 

“Why?” 

“He doesn’t care about any of it. Just has drinks. I should have called you or like done something else.” 

“You’re allowed to want to take a night off from a giant secret after a huge fight. And you don’t need my permission,” Lexa reminded her girlfriend, offering an old shirt. 

“It was stupid.” 

“Do you feel better?” 

Gingerly, Lexa tugged at Clarke’s shirt, pulling it over her head until she flopped back down on the bed, her hair fanning out against the pillow. Agitated at herself, at her clothe, at the unfathomable uncontrollability to the entirety of her life, Clarke growled to herself as she tugged off her bra, tossing it to the side and gracelessly pulling on the shirt Lexa offered. 

“I don’t feel better at all.” 

It was certainly a pout, and Lexa did her best to ignore it. Instead, she slicked off the light beside the bed, and slid between the sheets next to Clarke. Lexa laid there until Clarke turned to face her, until she placed her hand on her neck and cheek. 

“I’m sorry you had to pick me up.” 

“It’s okay,” Lexa whispered. 

“It’s not. I’m not like this… I don’t mean to be… I mean--”

“It’s okay.” 

Clarke leaned forward, shifting beneath the blankets until their knees were touching. She moved to only push the hair from Lexa’s forehead and she paused before kissing her lips. She tasted the warmth of the tequila there and she didn’t care. Lexa signed. 

“Please don’t give up on me anytime soon,” Clarke murmured. Stunned from the kiss, Lexa blinked in the dark and shifted closer. 

“I wouldn’t ever.” 

“I know you wouldn’t. I just had to say it out loud.” 

“Okay.” 

Lexa was certain she was going to get another kiss, but instead, Clarke dug her forehead under her girlfriend’s chin and pressed their bodies together, hugging her tightly and disappearing, being overwhelmed, anchoring herself to a steady force. Lexa rubbed Clarke’s back for a few moments until she fell asleep, and then she allowed herself the option of sleep.

NEXT

[reversecreek]

struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah. 

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot..... 

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

[quirkswriting]

soft words and starlight

Overview: When life gets stupidly busy, sometimes you just need to take some time to curl up with your boyfriend under the stars and spend as much time as you can, together. Pairing: Sero Hanta x Reader Word Count: 2.4k Warning(s): Honestly just fluff, soft things, and cuddles. Like we all deserve. Author’s Notes: Part two of the soft cuddle series! With everything going on, I think everyone can use some soft things in their lives. I hope you enjoy! (Canon aged up!)

***

You pulled your sweater tighter around you as you hurried along through the gates to the park, glancing down at your phone. You thought back to this morning as you kept your eyes out for any kind of movement around you.

“Meet me in the park at 11 tonight! At the big tree Tokoyami got stuck in, I’ve got a surprise for you ;)” had been the text you’d received bright and early this morning--it’d woken you up, and you knew your boyfriend knew that. Sero firmly believed that if Bakugou made him be up at the crack of dawn to work out together, you should be up to support him too. After all, the couples that suffered together stayed together, right?

You’d groaned and sent multiple middle finger emojis because once you were up you were up, and it was only after a long shower and too much time spent laying in bed that you asked him what the surprise was. And proceeded to receive an ungodly amount of winky faces in return, and nothing but winky faces whenever you asked him anything all day. Which, honestly, you should have expected but still annoyed you because you really wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be another pepper spray incident. Once was way more than enough. But no, all you got was winky faces and you could see the shit eating grin on his face as he sent them.

(So then maybe you texted Kaminari and Kirishima to ask them to replace Sero’s favourite lemonade with pure lemon juice and yeah, you’d feel bad later but the video Kirishima sent you of Kaminari cackling while he did it had you laughing too, and you knew Sero would appreciate the joke once he got over it)

Which all led to this moment, where you were shivering in the cold night air and looking for the tree that you’d had to help rescue Tokoyami from after he’d gotten stuck up in the branches. The memory of that brought a smile to your face, but not as big a smile as the one you felt tug your lips up as you spotted your boyfriend standing under the massive tree you never would have been able to recognize on your own in the dark. Thankfully he seemed to have realized that and had hung what was probably a camping lantern or something similar from the tree branches to help you find your way to him.

You’d tease him about the romantic gesture later, after you found out what exactly his surprise was supposed to be. You walked closer, and you could see the gigantic smile on his face. It warmed you up just a little, and you hoped your own smile was just as big as your boyfriend’s.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” he called, raising his hand to wave. You waved back, closing the distance between the two of you as you walked up to Sero. He opened his arms and you walked right into them, wrapping your own arms around him in as tight a hug as you could muster. “You know you were only eight minutes late this time, you must be really excited about seeing me!” His chest rumbled with the words, and you were quick to pinch his side. He laughed loudly, his chin resting on the top of your head and holding you in his arms.

“Well, when someone gives Bakugou their solitary brain cell and won’t tell me what he has planned at eleven at night in a park, I get worried that something bad is going to happen,” you told him, and he laughed again.

“You gotta stop watching scary movies with Kiri, babe,” he said, but you notice he squeezed you just a bit tighter and you decide you’ll lecture him about personal safety in the morning. “I set up the lamp so that it wouldn’t be so dark, and so that you wouldn’t think I was some random pervert and use your pepper spray.” This time it was your turn to laugh.

“Kaminari will never let that go, will he?” you asked, and you felt Sero shake his head. “His fault for sneaking up on me.” You could feel him laughing before you heard it, and the two of you stood like that for a moment. He finally let you go, nodding his head back towards the tree. You took  a step back and tried to peer around his form.

He held his hand out for you and you took it. “Ready for the surprise?” You nodded and he walked you around to the other side of the tree. Your mouth dropped open slightly as you took in what he’d probably spent a decent amount of time setting up; there, laid out on the grass was what looked like a very soft nest of blankets and pillows, with a small cooler and a picnic basket (most likely ‘borrowed’ from Bakugou) sitting off to the side. The lantern you’d seen earlier was taped up on a low hanging branch. It looked so comfortable and so cute and just so Sero that you couldn’t help but squeeze his hand. He had his free hand scratching the back of his neck as you turned your gaze from the set up under the tree to your boyfriend. “So... you like it?”

You nodded, and in the soft light you could just make out the flush spreading across his cheeks. Your own cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much tonight, but it was worth it for Sero. It always was. No one could make you smile and feel as safe and warm and loved like he could. He might be a jokester, but he was your jokester, and it was moments like these where he was bashful and flustered because he did something soft and sweet for you that made every prank, every fight, and every moment spent away from each other more than worth it.

“Oh, Hanta, I love it,” you said, and his cheeks flushed darker. Okay, maybe now you were messing with him, but it was all out of love. You knew how he reacted when you called him by his first name and you were using that to your advantage now. But really, it was completely warranted here, because it might be a random Tuesday night but that just made it all the more special. He cleared his throat, squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath.

“Wanna come lay down?” he asked, and you nodded. He led you over to the heap of blankets and pillows gathered together on the grass and you slipped your shoes off and sat down. You’d been right earlier, these were soft and you’d have to remember to steal some of them the next time you were at Sero’s place. You were just making yourself comfortable when suddenly the soft lantern light was gone and you were sitting in the dark. You turned to look at your boyfriend, who was walking towards you in the faint darkness.

“Why are you turning the light off? How are we going to see?” you asked. Sero took his own shoes off and dropped next to you on the blankets.

“Part of the surprise,” he told you. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you were close enough to him to make out the way his lips were curved up just slightly as he stared at you. He grabbed a blanket and draped it over the two of you. “Life has been so stupidly busy lately that I know it’s been hard for us to see each other, and, y’know, I missed you (Y/N). So I wanted to do something for both of us.” He gestured up towards the sky before you could say anything, continuing on, “I wanted to show you the stars. It’s something I like to do sometimes, y’know, when I need to just calm down and breathe and appreciate what I have around me.”

“And you wanna do that with me?” You asked him, and Sero voiced the affirmative. You moved as close to him as you could before he pulled you down to lay with him in the mess of blankets around you, becoming a tangle of limbs as you looked up at the sky.

“I wanna do everything with you, babe,” he told you. “But let’s start here, yeah? I can show you all the stars up there and you can cuddle me for warmth and all that stuff.” You couldn’t help the snort that came out of you at that, rolling your eyes knowing that he wouldn’t be able to see you do it.

“I have my own sweater, genius. It’s almost midnight in the middle of spring.” You could just imagine the pout on his face. “But you did go through all this work, so… if that’s what you want, we can cuddle while you teach me all about the stars up there.” Sero’s arms snaked around your waist, bringing you closer, and you could smell the light citrus scent that usually clung to him as you cuddled as close as you could to your boyfriend.

You honestly looked at Sero more than you looked at the stars. Seeing the way his face honestly glowed in the starlight as he talked, starting out loud and excited as he pointed out the different constellations and told you who they were supposed to be and showing you what they looked like. A lot of which involved closing one eye and squinting to try and see Orion’s belt or Andromeda or… well, honestly, you hoped you’d do this with Sero again because it was hard to keep track of absolutely everything. But you were sure he’d be okay with that, and so would you, because seeing him this happy and animated and just so passionate about something that he chose to share with you had your heart hammering against your ribs and a feeling of peace settling over you as he held you in his arms. His voice had faded now, low and soft, as he told you the stories of the heroes behind the stars, and how they’d become immortalized up there in the sky. A thought came to you during a small lull, while Sero was staring at the sky and you were staring at the planes of his face.

“They’ll name constellations after you one day.” You kept your voice quiet, not wanting to break the peace around the two of you as you turned to stare up at the stars. The arm around your waist stiffened, and you continued, “you’ll be an amazing hero. And everyone will tell stories about you too, when they take the people they love to go and look at the stars and they see your smile shining down on them.”

Sero didn’t say anything, but he did turn his body so he had his face buried in the crook of your neck and his warm breath tickled against your cool skin. You brought your own hand up to play with his hair, running your fingers through it.

“I wish it could always be like this,” you could hear him say, and you nodded as you gently traced different patterns through his scalp. He felt so warm against you and honestly you had no idea just how long the two of you had been out here, but like every other time you’d spent with Sero you couldn’t bring yourself to really care how late you were staying up or possibly how many laws you were breaking. As long as you were with him, it was worth any grass stains or back pain or possibly having to run from the police. That was just part of the fun of being together.

Your thoughts were not-so-gently interrupted by a buzzing against your hip; Sero groaned and rolled off of you.

“What’s going on? Do you have to take that?” You asked, and he began fishing around in his pockets for his phone under the blankets.

“That’s Bakugou’s vibration,” he told you, finally finding it and wincing as he saw Bakugou’s photo pop up. “If it was anyone else I’d ignore it but he’ll literally keep calling until I answer him. Every time it rings is another minute he’s going to yell at me for whatever’s going on now.” He sighed and swiped his screen to answer the call, eyes rolling skyward as he pressed the phone to his ear and you said a quick prayer for your poor boyfriend’s eardrums as Bakugou laid into him for some indistinct thing you couldn’t quite hear.

After a few moments of back and forth, Sero finally took his phone away from his ear and put it back in the pocket of his hoodie. You didn’t even need to ask before Sero was telling you that Bakugou was mildly inconvenienced by the fact that his house keys were locked in the back of Sero’s car, which was parked down the street from where you and Sero were enjoying your time together. And now Bakugou, who’d been dropped off… wherever he spent his time today. Sero didn’t really know. But he knew Bakugou was angry and wanted to go home and go to bed, and both Kaminari and Kirishima were apparently unavailable.

But he still placed his elbows on either side of your head--very carefully, because you guys had enough clumsy encounters in your early stages of dating where somebody got smacked with something that you had sort of a rhythm down pat now--and covered the two of you with some blankets again. “Five more minutes?” he asked, a wide grin on his face as he stared down at you. You rolled your eyes, but you knew your smile betrayed you as you stayed exactly where you were.

“Don’t complain to me when Bakugou gives you shit,” you told him, and Sero’s laugh was answer enough as he flopped back down on top of you and curled up next to you, intent on making the most out of the next five minutes (which actually turned into twenty minutes and an angry call to your phone from an even angrier Bakugou and you really had to stop yourself from laughing and pissing him off even more. Which didn’t work. But for Sero? It’d always be worth it).

Taglist: @yuueimagines​ | If you’d like to be added to my taglist please let me know! Right now I’m focused on the Soft Cuddles series but requests are OPEN if you’d like to see anything else! Thank you!

[neocity-sarai]

Tattoos Together

❈ main concept: childhood best friends to lovers!

❈ pairing: mark lee x reader

❈ alerts: fluff, angsty angst, language, parties, mentions of drinking/smoking, mentions of the dreamies/other idols

❈ song reference: “tattoos together” by lauv

Vancouver has always been home. Since you were a child, Vancouver has been the place to be. Years of dinners in the city, biking around Granville island, and field trips to the Victoria gardens were the norm, just little secret spots you go to when you want a getaway- an escape from school, work, whatever it is you’re doing. At age 15, the Lees moved into the light blue house next to yours, the one with overgrown weeds in the yard. The one with the crooked, leaning mailbox in front of it- daisies painted on the rusty metal. A young girl, an artist, used to live there until she moved to Paris for her next exhibit- leaving the lonely, periwinkle house behind. That day the Lees moved in, your parents baked more muffins than usual (on purpose) so they could welcome our new neighbors by enticing them with food. The saying goes that a way to a person’s heart is through their stomach right? When dad is done packaging them up into a neat little box, he shoves it into your hands, “Y/N. I hear the Lees have a son about your age, go introduce yourself.”

Glaring at your father, you set the box that was tied with a small yellow ribbon on the table before saying, “I’m sure they can manage just fine without the muffins. Why do we have to go greet them now? they’re probably tired from moving.”

Mom gives you a stern look, her jaw tightening, “Don’t be silly, it’s a nice gesture. Come back before dinner is ready.”

Before you can even protest, your parents are shoving you out the door, still careful not to crush the perfectly wrapped box. Stepping over the stairs, you finally manage to make it to the door. Here goes nothing? The cherry red door swings open lightly after you linger my finger-tip on their doorbell, opening up to a pretty woman- her facial features defined of asian descent. Her dark hair is tied into a loose braid, her pink sweater tucked into the waistband of her culotte pants. The woman smiles at you, the corner of her lips upturned, “Ah- you must be Y/N. I just got a call from your mother.”

You try to hide the shaking of my hands, handing her the box of warmed muffins, “Uh-hi Mrs. Lee. My parents made some muffins to welcome you to the uh- neighborhood.”

The woman’s eyes crinkle until her eyes stretch thinly, “That’s so nice of you! Thank you, I’m sure Mark will enjoy these!”

You question,“Um- Mark?”

Her laugh is light and airy, “My son-Mark! Wait here, I’ll get him.”

You wave my hands at her, motioning my refusal, “No worries, I-I have to get going for dinner..”

She doesn’t wait to listen to my words before turning away from the door to scream Mark’s name. A few minutes later, a boy wearing a dress shirt over his black t-shirt comes stumbling down the stairs, a pair of black headphones hanging off his neck. His glasses rest on the bridge of his nose as his jet-black hair sits as a messy pile on his head. It looks like he hasn’t combed it in days. Mark shouts, “What? What did you need mom?”

Mark’s mother clutches him by the arm, shoving him into my view, “Meet y/n. She’s the daughter of the family next door.”

At first, no words come out of Mark’s mouth, his doe, boyish eyes as wide as saucers. Mark’s mother hits him in the back, causing him to cough abruptly, “Uh-yeah-my name’s Mark. W-what’s your name?”

Mark’s mother laughs again, leaning down to whisper into his ear, “I already said her name is y/n!”

Redness creeps up to Mark’s cheeks, his nose tinted a slight shade of rose as his dark irises bounce everywhere but at me.

You smile anyway, “It’s y/n.”

He gives me a small smile and a nod, eyes set on the ground. His mother speaks up again, “I’m really sorry y/n, my boy’s really shy around pretty girls…”

Mark lightly hits his mom in the shoulder, “Mom! Don’t say that! You’re embarrassing me!”

His face is as red as a tomato, glasses sliding farther down his nose only for him to push them up with the tip of his index finger. I laugh at their cute relationship, holding out a hand to Mark, “It’s nice to meet you. I hope we can be friends?”

Mark stutters once more, his eyes wild with energy, “I-i’d like that very much-h, yeah.”

After you tell Mrs. Lee goodbye, you give Mark a nod before turning back on to their driveway. The both of them stand in the doorway, Mark’s voice reprimanding his mom in the house behind me. Maybe it wasn’t so bad meeting the Lees after all. That night, you go to bed, replaying the vision of Mark’s embarrassed smile in your mind.

Age 18  (senior year)

The next several years breeze by. Ever since Mark Lee enrolled into Everlane high, he wasn’t as shy of a freshman compared to the day you met him all those summers ago. Over the years, he grew a lot taller, his face a lot mature, yet still adorably awkward at the same time. He became a smart student, one favored by many of the science teachers- causing his friends (Jeno and Jaemin) to roll their eyes playfully whenever Mrs. Scofski would praise Mark for solving a chemical equation on the white-board. Mark was a basketball captain along with his best friend Hyuck, the two always tag-teaming during the school’s games. Due to Renjun’s forcing, Mark joined the student body as a reputable member. He became a biology tutor for kids who had found science class difficult or just fooled around without paying attention (Jisung and Chenle being two of those kids). Quickly, Mark was showered as Everlane’s golden boy, your neighborhood’s ideal son. He was doted as smart, popular, and mr. perfect to all the girls in the area- no matter how much he always denied it when you told him so. After your first meeting, your parents would frequently eat together, alternating households. The Lees also force Mark to walk you home from school, in fears that you would be kidnapped by a random stranger. At least he was good for one of many things- telling you that he’d swing his basketball at any person who would come even close to you.

Most days after your homework sessions, you’d plan new adventures with each other. your week went like this: on Mondays, you went walking along the water, skipping rocks on the bay until the sun went down and could see the glitters of the city sky-line. In the spring, the sky would melt from a tangerine orange color into a musty silver. On Tuesdays, you’d get clam chowder at Phil’s on 2nd avenue, Mark always ruined his shirt ( you would forbid him to wear white on Tuesdays) and then you’d sit on this abandoned rooftop above an old department store. Up there, the air always felt cold so that you would have to blow your warm breaths into your hands, lean your heads on each other’s shoulders as Mark let out his high-pitched laughs. On Wednesdays, it was maple waffles before school in Gas town, the steaming clock chiming delicate music by the hour. Thursdays were meant for taking stupid photos, listening to dusty mixtapes, and hanging out with the rest of your friends. Last Thursday, you would all go to the Capilano suspension bridge and sit on a treehouse’s edge- causing Hyuck to scream from the heights. Jaemin always quieted him down with a bone-crushing hug or a playful kiss, earning a look of disgust from Renjun. You always wanted gelato after that. On Fridays, all of you would stay in for a movie night at either Mark’s house or yours- Jeno punching Chenle to stop him from making fun of the ghosts in the horror movies you’ve been watching. It never works. Saturdays were like Mark’s public appearances at Everlane high’s party scene, one call and you all would be at someone’s house party. You’d never really enjoyed them though: too many people, too much dirty dancing, and the burning stench of vodka stung your nose. The only reason  you would stay is for Mark and the boys. Sundays, your family and Mark’s get together for either dinner or lunch- switching off every week. Your parents would even play a betting game to choose who gets to wash dishes, Mark groaning every time his family loses rock-paper-scissors. Spending time with the people you loved made the days go by faster as you never particularly had bad days in the extreme. Piles of homework and grumpy teachers didn’t hold a candle to what you’d get to do every day- if it meant spending time with Mark. When you go to bed each night, you would feel content- happy, even.

Monday

You still think back to the moment when the boys were eating lunch in the cafeteria, like you did everyday. Chenle was talking about how he’d earn himself detention because he was messing around with chlorine in chemistry in order to make Jisung laugh.

“You’re such an idiot, Chenle. That’s going on your record, you know?” Jaemin scoffs.

Holding his sandwich in one hand, Jeno sweeps his coffee-colored bangs out of his eyes, “What do you expect? it’s Chenle- it’s like he’s powered on candy all the time.”

Chenle slurps up his gummy worms in an exaggerated motion, “I’ve already been through 6 packs of these since this morning. I feel so sick.”

Narrowing his eyes, Hyuck rests his chin on the palm of his hand as he pouts his lips, “Poor baby, eat more and you’ll be blowing up the toilet in no time!”

Chenle squints his eyes at the blond-haired boy, tossing a gummy worm at him, “Hyuck! Stop it!”

Hyuck continues to laugh as he clutches his stomach, Jisung stealing the candy from Chenle’s fingers before stuffing it into his mouth. I pull Hyuck up from his side, “Hyuck, you’re going to fall, sit up!”

Due to his lack of breath, Hyuck stares into my eyes, his golden irises gleaming, “You’re here to catch me though.”

You push him back down, palming my hand onto his face, “Stop reading cheesy rom-com lines. It’s so not cute, cringey at that.” Before Hyuck can finish whining, we’re interrupted by Mark plopping his food tray on the table. Jaemin says, “Someone’s late. Where were you?”

Mark looks like he’s out of breath, heaving and panting as he cards his fingers through the crest of his raven hair. “You guys aren’t going to believe this but, I think Cassandra likes me.”

Jaemin raises a skeptical eyebrow, “You mean Cassandra as the cheerleader who got kicked off the team for drinking last year?”

Suddenly, you stop paying attention to the conversation anymore. All you feel is the weight of your heart sink, my limbs feeling heavier at your side. Hyuck looks at you, noticing your fallen expression before clutching your hand under the table, giving it a comforting squeeze. It seems like Jeno sees it too because he glances from you to Mark as Mark excitedly explains his story. “Yeah, I was just finishing up some tutoring with Roberto from last period and Cassandra gave me her number after that! Isn’t that sweet?”

Jaemin nods disinterestedly, “Yeah, sweet I guess.”

Among the group, you have only ever admitted your feelings for Mark to Hyuck because he cornered you about it one day. Yet, it seems like Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun have caught on from their pitied faces. Mark drones on about how “totally cool” and how athletic he thinks Cassandra is. The difference is you don’t play any sports and you don’t slap coats of makeup on your face every-day before school,  nothing like Cassandra. You shake your head at the ping in your heart- a small glimmer of hope that Mark would ever feel the same about you. By the time lunch is over, classes feel longer than usual. They drag on, your teachers’ words in one ear and out the other. You text Mark that you have to stay over for school so he can walk home without you- a blatant, utter lie. Instead, you opt to put my headphones in and take the long route home. Plopping on to the surface of my comforter, you hear the familiar ring of Mark’s text tone.

[2:55 P.M.] (Marcus Lee <3) Y/n? Did you get home okay?

[2:55] Yeah, I did. Thanks Mark.

[2:56] (Marcus Lee <3) Hey, are you okay? You seemed a bit down today? Like you know you can tell me anything right?

[2:56] Yeah. I know. I’m just a bit more tired than usual. Stayed up last night writing Mr. Gillion’s paper..

[2:57] (Marcus Lee <3) hahahah ewww. That doesn’t sound fun… Do you want to go into town and get churros later?

[2:58] I think I’ll pass today, I got some homework to finish. I hope you have a good day though :)

[3:00] (Marcus Lee <3] hahaha okay. I guess I’ll have to take my mom on a churro date then hahah. See you tomorrow! ;)

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to hang out with Mark. Still, you couldn’t forget about the way Mark’s eyes sparkled when he talked about Cassandra, the way his voice cracked from the excitement of talking about it. How can you expect him to know? To reciprocate? It’s not like you were dating, you have no right to be jealous of Cassandra- a pretty girl, someone who had football players falling at her feet. Even if you had told Mark the truth, what if he didn’t feel the same? It would make these awkward, not to mention with your friend group. You shouldn't.

Tuesday

In all honesty, you had forgotten about yesterday’s lunch conversation. That was until the reminder hits you like a slap to the face when you see Cassandra’s arms wrapped around Mark’s neck as he laughs into her shoulder. Renjun and you had been walking to art class, the crack in your heart widening by the second. They fit so well, the way Mark’s basketball jacket matches Cassandra’s cheerleading uniform, the way his teammates and her friends hang out together in a pack. Renjun whispers to you, “Are you okay?��

You nod at him, trying to conceal your emotions, “Just fine, let’s head to class.”

When you pass Cassandra and Mark along with their cluster of friends, Cassandra’s voice comes out in a squeaky tone, “Hey, y/n.” When you turn to look at the pair, you see Cassandra’s hand daintily resting on Mark’s stomach, his eyes wide as saucers when he realizes you and Renjun are in front of him. You hear Renjun mutter an ‘ugh’ after curtly waving to them. Mark leaves Cassandra’s grasp, motioning towards you both, “You guys going to art? I’ll walk with you-”

Before you can answer, Cassandra wraps her thin arms around Mark’s waist, “We have to go help Felix with the party stuff remember?”

Mark scratches the back of his neck before glancing back at her and you with Renjun, his mind in a state of conflict. To make it easier for him, you smile at him, “You go, looks like you’re busy.”

Walking faster, Renjun drags you by the arm as we breeze past the crowd of athletes and cheerleaders. Renjun rolls his eyes again, “I don’t get why he likes her so much, they haven’t even been friends for that long and you’re right-”

You cover a hand to his mouth, “Renjun, it’s okay. I’ve accepted it by now.” You try to convince yourself at the very least.

After art class is done, lunch time seems to come in a hurry. Everyone takes their usual seats, Hyuck on your right with Renjun on your left. Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung sit around you three in a circular formation. Jaemin speaks first, “So, what, are Mark and Cassandra dating now?”

Jeno shrugs his shoulders before stuffing a quarter of a cookie into his mouth, “Don’t know and don’t care.”

You say, “Looks like it, they were pretty intimate in the hallway this morning.”

Renjun and Hyuck make disapproving faces, Renjun quips, “I don’t know. I feel like this is happening so fast and he told me that he really-”

“Shut up!” Hyuck screams at Renjun, throwing a limp french fry at him.

“Ew, what the hell was that for?” Renjun’s eyebrows are furrowed with disgust, patting the fabric of his white denim jacket from any salt crumbs.

Hyuck’s eyes go wide  as he makes a zipping motion on his lips, his blond hair gleaming under the dim lights, “Don’t say it- she needs to hear it from him!”

Renjun shoots back, “But it’s so obvious, what difference does it make?”

“What are we talking about?” Chenle’s face contorts with confusion, Jisung looking at him for any hints.

Jaemin glares at the pair, “Shh, let’s just all move on.”

You say, “I’m with Chenle, what are we talking about?”

Hyuck places a firm hand on my shoulder, his honey blond hair casting shadows on his forehead, “Nothing, it’s not important.”

As you eat, you spot Mark walking over to all of you, his black backpack slinged over one shoulder before setting his food down. “Hey, guys. We can squeeze in two right?”

Hyuck looks at Mark, his eyes furrowing with bewilderment, “Two?”

“Hey guys!” Cassandra’s preppy figure pops out from behind Mark. She looks more done up than before: red lipstick, long platinum-streaked hair in a slicked pony-tail, and the tightest cheer-leading uniform she could fit herself into. She plops herself down in between Mark and Hyuck, taking off the container of her salad before looking around our table. I sense Renjun and Hyuck give me a look while the other boys continue to eat in silence.

“So what did you guys do today?” Mark asks. Jaemin gives him a short response while Jisung explains how the class pet mouse made it’s escape during second hour, earning a chuckle from Mark. You get an odd feeling in your stomach when Cassandra looks at Mark so lovingly at your lunch table. The boys’ dynamic seems almost disrupted every time Cassandra butts in to say that she doesn’t think Jeno’s jokes are funny. As lunch finishes up, the school bell reverberates through the cafeteria walls- a signal for the next class period.

The next class is statistics with Mr. Midas. Out of the group, Mark and Jaemin are the only ones in the same class as you  but it doesn’t help that they’re seated as farway as possible. On the bright side, you’re seated next to Chan, one of Mark’s basketball teammates. Over the course of the year, Chan has always been a kind deskmate by helping you when you’re confused with a problem or sharing his study guide with you. Sometimes you notice he scoots closer to explain a formula and asks you if you’re uncomfortable with his sudden closeness, to which to his relief, you always reply no. Chan is just as handsome as Mark, someone well regarded in the school. No one could resist his flirty charm, the way his chestnut hair curls to one side of his forehead and the way his hoodie falls past his waist a bit. You discover how Chan is really passionate about producing music and running your high school’s channel as a radio dj. When Chan smiles, it makes you happy to see how his eyes crinkle into crescent moons, and how his teeth gleam white when he smiles about the flower you drew him at the corner of his notes.

“Are you doing okay, y/n?”

You give a reassuring nod, “I’m doing okay Chan. Thanks for asking.”

He quirks up his brow, a scar slashing it at the end, “You don’t look okay though. Listen, if you don’t want talk about it, you’re all good, I just-”

Pausing him with the hold of your hand,  you continue, “if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk about it.”

He gives you affirmation, you say, “Have you ever felt unrequited love?”

Chan shakes his head no, leaning back in his chair, “Maybe when I was younger but not now? I’m truly sorry y/n. Whoever it is, anyone who doesn’t see how funny and beautiful you are doesn’t deserve you period.”

You hold your tongue for a bit due to the fact of Chan’s comment catching you off guard. Freezing, he realizes the bluntness of his words, “Oh man, you just said unrequited love and I biffed it right? I didn’t mean it that way-no, wait. You are funny and very pretty so, uh-yeah.”

Bursting into laughter, you put a hand to your mouth causing Cassandra and Mark to look at you from across the room. Soon enough, you tear your eyes away from the students staring at you to focus your attention on Chan. He’s laughing too, his voice full of brightness and mirth. You respond, a light cloud of pink floating your cheeks, the room feeling a bit warmer, “I really appreciate that Chan. Thank you for making me smile today.”

A smirk graces Chan’s face as he says, “Happy to do it, whenever you want really.”

Statistics goes by extremely quickly when you’re sitting next to Chan- it’s like he’s telling you a couple of jokes and then it’s over. As the bell rings, Chan nudges you with his elbow as he packs up his bag, “So, I uh-this friday, we’re having our championship game and this party after? I was wondering if you want to come?”

You hesitate, thinking you might have plans with Mark, yet you decide he would probably hang out with his girlfriend over you anyway.

“I’d love to come. On one condition.”

Chan raises his eyebrows, “And what’s that?”

“You have to win the game.”

Chan throws up his hands almost hitting you in the process, “Well, duh! I’m not going to let you down, I promise.”

Friday

For the past couple days, you haven't heard from Mark. No texts, no calls, and no plans out in the city. You were hurt that the boy you’d call your best friend would ignore you just because he got a new girlfriend, your years of friendship overlooked just like that. When Friday rolls around, you attend the Everlane versus Brisbane championship basketball game. You decide that you’re there to cheer on Chan, the boy who’s taller than the rest, his purple jersey hanging against his muscular frame. You spot Cassandra giving Mark a kiss on his cheek on the court, you have to look away at the sight. By the next hour or so, you’re surprised at how long Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin have been screaming. Each of them held a poster for each Hyuck, Jeno, and Mark- their jersey numbers adorned with dollar store glitter and messy handwriting. When Mark makes a slam dunk in the basket, the crowd goes ear-deafeningly wild, cheering out Mark’s name like a repeated mantra. Shortly after, Hyuck makes an attempt to pass the basketball to Mark; the ball missing Mark’s hands before Chan dribbles it to their opponent’s basket. The cheerleaders dance to the thrum of the crowd screaming Chan’s name over Mark’s, causing Mark to grit his teeth with irritation. For a while, the back and forth of swaying bodies goes on until the Everlane team makes the last shot before the final countdown. When Jeno makes the last point, you’re certain you’ve lost your hearing by then. The cheers ring in the gym, causing the alarm to blare with victory. After everyone exits the gym, you see Mark, Chan, and Jeno being tossed into the air in a sea of fellow players and short-skirted girls as pompoms explode upwards. You decide to wait with Chenle, Jisung, and Jaemin in the empty parking lot, waiting for Renjun to pull his car around. Jeno and Hyuck jog to you all first, their basketball duffels hanging from their hands, bodies are drenched with sweat. Chenle says, “That’s some fine work out there gentleman if I do say so myself.” Hyuck does his signature handshake with Chenle, a reckless grin smeared across his face, “I knew we’d win. Brisbane can’t take down the undefeated.”

Jeno gives him a firm nod, slinging his arm around a pleased Jaemin. You smile at the boys, “Congratulations guys, you all killed it on the court.”

Hyuck and Jeno smash you in a sweaty hug, “Aw, thanks y/n. You did well cheering for us.”

You laugh, “Get off, you guys are sweaty!”

Before Hyuck can smear his sweat onto your shoulder playfully, a voice stops you in your tracks.

“Y/n!”

It’s Chan. A damp towel hangs off his neck, his nike headband wrapping his forehead under his bangs. “You ready to go?”

You shout, “Just give me a second!”

Hyuck and Jeno give you a knowing look, “Where are you going with Chan?”

You reply, “Oh, we’re just carpooling to the party at Felix’s house.”

Renjun asks, “Also, where’s Mark?”

Hyuck shakes his head in contempt, “He’s heading to the party with Cassandra.”

Jaemin mutters, “Of course he is.”

Of course he would. Mark is one of the captains on the team, why would he be excluded from the after-party? The ache in your heart pings again, you feel sick from the thought of Mark making out with Cassnadra at some gross party. You wouldn’t be able to handle the tears.  Though, Chan had invited you, not Mark- who he didn’t even mention it to you, the least you could do is be courteous. What kind of person gets invited to something and cancels so last minute?

You say, “You guys get to the party and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

Renjun’s eyes crease his concern, “You do know that Mark and Cassandra will be there though right?”

You nod, “Yes. But we won’t mind them, let’s just go have fun tonight.”

After parting, you jog over to Chan who’s tossing his duffel into the trunk of his silver Lexus, his hair damp from the game. He turns to you, grinning, “you ready?”

You smile at him, telling him yes before launching yourself into the passenger seat. Chan turns the ignition, his car interior smelling like cherries from the air freshener that hangs above his head. As Chan drives, the street lamps glow on the side of the road as the moon peeks between the rainy clouds. He rolls your window down, your skin shivering at the cold chill of the night. “So, there was something I wanted to ask you?”

Turning to him, you face the chestnut-haired boy, “You remember stats class a few days ago?”

You reply, “I do?”

“Mark was looking at you the whole time. When you guys hadn’t texted in several days, he asked me if you and I were a thing during practice.”

You quirk your brows up in surprise, “And what did you say?”

Chan smiles to himself, letting out a breathy chuckle, “I said no. But, I was definitely interested.”

You allow yourself to feel nice, to feel like Chan likes you for who you are around him. Chuckling at him, you flip your hair in a sassy manner, “Well, I’ll definitely keep that noted.”

When you arrive at the party, the small two-story house looks like a sight straight out of one of those coming of age movies. The small house is jam packed with people, some hanging out on the lawn as they sip their drinks as music shakes the walls. You spot Renjun’s car from the side of your eye, meaning that your friends had gotten there before you and Chan. Upon entering the house, it’s like a warzone within it. Some people are peacefully talking by the lounge area as they feast on snacks. Some are in the kitchen mixing a plethora of colorful drinks together while also playing a form of beer pong. Girls run up and down the stairs with their friends, some with boys trailing behind them with a trance in their eyes. Some are grinding on each other on the dance floor, sensual music thrumming at the source of the boombox.

The first thing you see are your friends sitting in the corner by the backyard door, Mark on the loveseat with Cassandra practically on his lap. You instinctively grab Chan’s hand so you don’t break down right there. He gives you a surprised glance, “y/n? What’s wrong?”

Instantly, you let go of his hand as you cast your eyes down towards the floor. When you don’t answer, he sees a view of your friends laughing along with Mark and Cassandra. You feel a large hand cover yours which causes you to look up at Chan, “It’s okay y/n. Just stick with me.”

You nod, leading him to the drink table in the kitchen. When he leans down to sniff a large bowl full of sour juices and cubes of fruit, his nose scrunches in disgust, “ugh, jungle juice.”

Out of random courage, you swipe an empty cup from the tower as you shove the metal ladle of jungle juice into it. Downing it despite Chan’s protest, you feel a surge of electricity light your lungs on fire as the beat of your heart quickens from the liquid courage. He laughs, keeping his hand on the small of your back, “You surely make reckless decisions when you’re bothered by something.”

You giggle back at him, “You drink something too, you’re a winner tonight after all.” Chan reaches from a glittery purple bowl that pops with bubbles, “a toast to that, y/n. A toast to that.”

before he downs the liquid in one go. You feel his body jolt from the energy too, a smirk plastered on his face, “Wanna go play a game with some of the boys? Only if you want to, we can talk upstairs too.”

Shaking your head in refusal, you hang on to Chan’s shoulder, “Let’s go have fun.”

Chan grabs your hand, his metal chain bracelet cool on your wrist as he leads you past your friends, Mark, and Cassandra before opening the backyard door. Mark moves Cassandra off his lap, her eyes as cold as ice before she angrily gets up to get another drink. The rest of your friends sit in their circle in awe, glancing down at Chan’s hand enclosed on top of yours. Coolly waving to them, you say, “I’m outside if you need me.” before you meet eyes with Mark- his lips pressed into a frown, his irises shot with hurt. You ignore the ache that grows on the wall of your heart. You tell yourself, Mark’s ignored you all this time because he doesn’t feel the same way and never will. After being outside on the patio for a while, you meet some of Chan’s radio-club friends as all of you play a game of sorry. For a moment, Mark and the others aren’t on your mind, just the fact that Chan is pulling you into an enthusiastic hug after winning a round. You turn to Chan, “Hey, I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom.”

Chan smiles at you before he presses a lingering kiss to the crown of his head, “Sure thing. I’ll be here.”

You’re not even surprised that Chan kisses you, whether or not it’s the alcohol, you don’t mind it. When you head back into the house, you feel an arm grab your wrist and spin you around. Your friends are still sitting where they had when you passed them except Mark is the one boring his eyes into yours as he grabs your shoulders, “We need to talk now.”

Before you can say no, he pulls you to the quieter part of the kitchen, you say with bitterness, “What do you want Mark? I have someone waiting for me.”

Left without any patience, Mark lets out a huff, “Are you and Chan together?”

You sigh, casting your glance at him, “Seriously? It’s none of your business. Second, it’s not like you told me that you were with Cassandra.”

Mark uses his hand to comb back his black hair, making it even more messy, “Y/n. That’s because we’re not together, it’s just complicated and I haven’t had the time to tell you why or how we-”

“Stop right there. You ignored me for days Mark! You never texted or called! What was I supposed to do? Pine after you when you’re chasing Cassandra around?”

Mark’s doe eyes flash with pain, his hand tightening around the sides of your arms, “No! That’s not it! I didn’t mean it that way, I’m just trying to figure out what to do..” You shove Mark off you, his hands sliding off your arms, “Well save it. I’m done with you playing around with my feelings!”

Mark calls after you, tears streaming down your face as you try to make your way to the bathroom without being stared at. It takes all three minutes of some Chris Brown song for you to stop heaving. You feel sick to your stomach, so much for a fun night. You text Chan to meet you outside in front of the house, avoiding the corner your friends were comforting Mark at. Chan finds you leaning against his car, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

Giving him the only smile you can muster, you explain, “Listen, I’m so sorry. You invited me to this party and I just-I’m here being a cry-baby and everything. I’m just going to walk home now. I’m sorry.”

Chan shakes his head in definite refusal, “Nonsense. I’m driving you home. I’m about done anyway.”

You ask hesitantly, “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

The night drive back to your neighborhood gives you peace of mind. Chan rolls all the windows down as soft music plays from his radio, slowing the bounce of your heartbeat. He’s got one hand on the wheel and one hand rested on yours by your knee, you feel comfortable with Chan. It’s the same feeling that flutters in your stomach when you’re close to Mark and right now, you hate the thought of the black-haired boy that consumes so many of your thoughts. Before Chan’s tires screech to a stop in front of your porch, he turns to you with concerned eyes, lips pressed into a pout. “Come here, y/n.”

You waste no time collapsing into the space on his wide chest, his hands stroking your hair down. Resting his chin on your head, you close your eyes to the rhythmic beat of Chan’s heart as the soft patter of the rain is enough to drift you to sleep. You pull away from his chest, looking up at the shadows in Chan’s eyes, his hair falling near his eye-lids while he glances at your lips before looking down to his lap. He says apologetically, “I’m so sorry. I’m not trying to take advantage of your feelings right now. I’m really not-”

You cut him off with your hand pressed to the curve of his cheek, “Can I kiss you?”

He doesn’t waste time to grip the back of your neck, kissing you harshly as he bites the bottom of your lip. You sigh into him, fisting the fabric of his jacket when he moves in even closer to twist a hair behind your ear. When you detach from him, you can’t control the burst of tears that shakes your body. The alcohol blurs the vision of Mark and Chan together as your mind throbs from the effect, leaving you dizzy. You apologize to Chan over and over again, wiping the tears that fall from your eyes. Instead, he kisses his lips to the side of your temple as he urges you to get some sleep. Like the gentleman he is, he walks you to the front door, draping his basketball jacket over your shoulders. Your home is dark- due to the fact that your parents are out of town on a business trip in Toronto so you just flop onto your bed in defeat. Mark’s ringtones shoot off from your phone, notifications of several apology texts and missed calls. Not wanting to check any of them, you toss your cell phone into the grey trash bin that sits by your desk. Going to sleep feels especially difficult when alcohol still surges through your veins and you can’t control the sobs that erupt from your throat. You hear Mark’s car pull up on his driveway, not wanting to see him whatsoever. On your bed, you almost feel him looking up at your window to check if you’re awake- for once, you’re glad it’s curtains are securely shut.

The next few weeks are pretty miserable besides the fact that you’re getting closer to Chan. You don’t acknowledge Mark’s presence anymore. By Hyuck and Jaemin, you’re told he comes by to the lunch table to check if you’re there. You still hang out with your friends separately rather than in your usual group- the web that connects you slowly falling apart. It’s difficult when you have art with Hyuck and Renjun, stats with Jaemin, and ceramics with Jisung, Chenle, and Jeno- as you try to take paths opposite of Mark at the same time. Later on, you explain everything that’s been going on between you and Mark to Chan. He takes it surprisingly well by comforting you and listening to your anger, how he’s willing to let you heal before you two start anything. How could Chan be so patient with you? He says it’s because he really likes you and would rather be there for you as a friend first. When you get home, your parents give you a lecture about starting things with Mark, how they want to have dinner with his family but can’t. Of course, they feel sorry once you explain to them what really happened.

Now, the weather outside seems a lot sunnier, yellow pollen from the peonies float in the air as you make your way out of the double doors. The time is nearing for spring break- a well needed barrier from Mark, from everything. Before you walk your way home, you’re stopped by Hyuck and Renjun. Renjun holds an envelope in his hands before giving it to Hyuck, both of them trapping you, “Y/n. We’ve been looking all over for you.”

You say, “I’m going home now, can we talk tomorrow?”

Hyuck narrows his eyes at me with contempt, “No, of course not. Just hear us out.”

Renjun speaks up too, “Do you have plans for spring break? I’m assuming you don’t because you mentioned a few weeks ago that you didn’t. We’ve got 8 tickets to Victoria island.”

You reply, “And.. your point is?”

Hyuck crosses his arms, rolling his eyes, “The point is to make up. Our group is in shambles because of all this lovesick drama. A trip is a perfect opportunity to mend things.”

Laughing, you cackle at his suggestion, “If you expect me to go then that’s hilarious. I’m not going.”

Hyuck throws up his hands in frustration. “How can you kick it if you don’t even know what will happen?”

Raising your eyebrows defiantly, “Do you remember what happened when Mark and I were in the same room? Hyuck, it’s not happening.”

Renjun grumbles, flicking the envelope in my face, “Fine! We won’t invite Mark then! We just want you to come with us and then we’ll see what happens from there okay?”

Hyuck socks Renjun in the shoulder with a fist before shouting, “How can we not ask Mark?”

In response, Renjun shoots a frigid glare at Hyuck as if he’s threatening him with his eyes,  “We’re just not going to ask him! Y/n, will you come?”

You pause for a moment as you stare back at the pair. You raise your voice to make yourself crystal clear, “I will only go if Mark doesn’t. Simple as that.”

Renjun bobs his head in agreement, “Deal. No Mark.”

When you walk away, you still hear Hyuck berating Renjun for his decision only to be shut up by some snarky comment that comes through Renjun’s lips. The sound of their voices falling away.

First day of spring break

By the time spring break begins, you find yourself standing in front of Renjun’s van with your suitcase packed full of your things. You’re greeted by Renjun, Hyuck, Jaemin, and Jeno first. Of course, Jisung and Chenle are seen scampering across the school parking lot with their duffel bags messily unzipped, some shirts hanging out of the top.

“Didn’t I tell you to pack the night before?” Renjun scoffs at the pair.

Chenle pokes his tongue at the older boy, wrapping his arm around Jisung’s broad shoulders. Jeno holds his hands up in the air before bellowing, “shot-gun!” straight into Hyuck’s ear- causing Hyuck to throw a whiny fit. Once our suitcases are in the back of Renjun’s car, he leans on the side of his van as if he’s waiting for something. Jaemin says, “Okay, isn’t that all? Why aren’t you closing it?”

Renjun has a wicked grin plastered all over his face, “Not everything and not certainly everyone.”

You all turn to face Mark, circles under his eyes, his hair unruly as if he hasn’t gotten sleep in 3 whole weeks. Shoot a menacing face at Renjun, you whisper at him, “You told me Mark wasn’t coming.”

Renjun gives you  an evil, sinister smile, “I crossed my fingers behind my back.”

Having the extreme urge to strangle Renjun on the spot, you ponder about Renjun’s extreme lengths to reach his goal of making up. Before you can walk away from the car, Hyuck drags your hand back to the door of the van, “Ah-ah- y/n. You’re not going anywhere.”

The whole car ride to the ferry is awkwardly silent due to the fact you’re mercilessly squished between Hyuck and Mark. Personal boundaries don’t exist in the car, your legs are practically on top of each other as Mark steals side glances at you from the corner. Getting to the dock port seemed less stressful than you’d imagine it to be. Renjun had parked his van at the base garage of the ferry before unloading everyone's belongings.

Just as easy as it was to get on to the boat, it was easy getting off too. You’d make your way down to Renjun’s car,  Renjun driving it down a ramp and into the pathway that opened into Victoria island. You have to admit to yourself, Victoria island looked even more gorgeous than you had remembered last time you came with your family. During springtime, all the beautiful flowers in Butchart gardens would bloom pinks and purples, the greenery would turn a lush, healthy evergreen, and the city would stay lit for the tourists. It was the perfect place to have a vacation, one with friends at that. Jaemin and Renjun booked a small cottage house for everyone to stay in, one straight out of a fairy tale storybook. The cottage ceiling looked like it was made with hay and lime-green vines, beams of cedar-wood reinforced the walls of the structure. It had a white picket fence that surrounded a small rose garden near the entrance; white lilies floating in an old, peeling fountain. Finally entering the house, you were amazed by the impeccable interior:various paintings of Victoria island, a kitchen that was big enough to seat 10, and bedrooms slacked with ivory/gold wallpaper. Like ants scattering into their units, the boys jumped on their beds that they ‘claimed’ while you and Mark stood in the middle of the hallway. Watching all of them make a clamorous reaction over who got the best room was like watching families seize their buttons during family feud. By observing them, you’ve come to realize that there were only 7 rooms instead of 8. Realizing this, you glance over at Mark who was in turn staring back at you before racing towards the end of the hall- flying to the surface of the bed. Both of you landed on it at the exact same time, faces extremely close together. Hastily, you sit up in an attempt to push Mark off the bed that you claimed first, “Mark Lee, get off my bed now!”

He incredulously stares back at you, “Your bed? This is mine!”

You exclaim, “You’re trying to take my bed now? I clearly jumped on it first!”

“No, you didn’t!”

Bickering back at forth, you and Mark don’t even realize the rest of the boys practically flailing in the doorway, Hyuck saying in a sing-songy voice, “Or.. you could shareee!”

In unison, you and Mark shout, “Hell no!”

You get up first, shoving a pillow at Mark, “Fine, you have it! I’ll room with Hyuck.”

Hyuck clicks his tongue, “Oh no you’re not, y/n. Nada. No bueno.”

Before you can argue with Hyuck or chase him out of the room for that matter, you hear Mark speak up from behind. His voice is shy and quiet, his face a shade of beet red, “You just take the bed. I’ll take the floor.”

You turn to face him as you’re about to reprimand him for such a stupid idea until you realize that it’s probably the best decision to make at the moment.

After dinner that night, everyone had settled into their respective rooms. You had changed into a hoodie and sweatpants after you had showered. You sat on your bed, texting Chan goodnight before shutting it off to charge on your nightstand. Mark had stumbled into your shared room with one pillow and a thin fabric cover-(hardly a blanket) before setting it down on the carpet. Seeing Mark in this state, it reminds you of the old days. The way that his headphones sat comfortably on his ears, his black hair matted with drops of water, and his toned frame covered with black pants and a black tee. The hollows of his cheeks make his face more prominent, his lips the color of a strawberry slice. In one swift motion, he wraps the thin cover around his body before turning on his side, “Good night, y/n.”

Unable to say anything, you shut off the lamp- casting darkness all around you. “Good night, Mark.”

You almost forget that Mark’s there in the room with you until you hear the tick of his teeth chattering and the breathy huffs from how cold it is. You sit up to take a look at his shaking figure, the thin material doing no justice as a blanket. You believe that the air bnb manager hadn’t put extra blankets or control instructions for the ac system as you had all looked for them earlier. Deciding to wrap one of the thicker blankets that’s draped over your legs, you almost trip towards Mark’s shuddering body before patting it against him. Before you turn to go back to your bed, you feel a hand curl around your fingers, Mark slightly opening his half-lidded eyes at you. “y/n?”

Pausing, you touch your hand to Mark’s cheek, “Mark, you’re freezing. You should have told me, this blanket cover isn’t any better than a piece of paper.”

Mark shifts his body closer to face you now, his hands still wrapped around yours, “i-i didn’t know.”

“Do you want more of my blankets? I’m kind of used to the cold.”

Mark says, “No, if I take them, you’ll catch a cold.”

“Mark, I’m fine, really.” You insist on letting you help him, the boy shivering from the icy temperature.

His eyes become stern, his muscles stiffening, “y/n, I said no!”

Pausing, retract your hand from Mark’s as the warmth slowly is replaced with cold air. You give him a gentle nod this time, “I-okay.” Mark sits up from his place, fingers running through his messy hair, an earbud still plugged into his left ear, “What I mean is, I don’t want you to get sick. It’d be my fault.”

Instead, you walk back to your spot on your bed, “Look, don’t take this the wrong way but, you can come warm up for a little. Just before you go back to sleep, I promise- I won’t touch you.”

In the dark, Mark’s eyes glint like swirling, black orbs as he nods at you, getting up to take a spot next to you on the bed. He leans back into the pillow by your head, the coolness of it feeling like a cold cloud. Sighing with content, he submerges his body under the warmth of the comforter, careful not to over step his boundaries with you. When Mark lies next to you, you can seem to shut your eyes. Instead, your heart beats out of your chest when you hear Mark whisper. “y/n?”

“Yes, Mark?”

He says with a heavy heart, “I miss us.”

Propping my elbow on your pillow, you turn to face him, “I miss you.”

You choke on your words, your head throbbing with dizziness when you realize what you had just admitted to Mark. You seem visibly gulp, his eyes tracing the crease where the flowery wallpaper meets the ceiling. His voice comes out shaky, “y/n..I-I like you.”

Mark’s earbud sings the words of a beautiful, familiar tune:

Said I never fall, i’d never fall and then I fell for you mhm

Back against the wall, against the wall, and against the wall, that’s how it felt with you mhm

When those words fall from Mark’s lips, all the oxygen from your lungs makes an exit and threatens to not come back in- you’re left stunned. Mark turns his face to you to see your reaction and you stare back at him, eyes widened. Before you have the chance to say anything, Mark presses his lips to yours, rising from the pillow as his nose knocks against yours lightly. You find yourself kissing him back, harder than when you kissed Chan the night of the party. The kiss is full of yearning, almost full of struggling sadness to trap the right feelings- Mark’s hand snakes a hand around your jaw in order to stabilize you. He keeps kissing you aggressively, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as his tongue swipes your bottom lip. You pull away first, fire thrumming in your lungs as you place your hand on his chest, “Mark, you have a girlfriend. We can’t.”

Mark shakes his head slightly, “I’m not dating Cassandra.”

You make a face at him, “What do you mean? Because if I’m a rebound, I don’t want to be.”

Mark chuckles, a smirk snaking on his swollen lips, “Trust me, you’re not a rebound. And, I meant what I said about liking you.”

“Mark, you can’t just tell me you like me and then kiss me like nothing’s happened. I saw you and Cassandra with my own eyes.”

Mark sighs before gazing back at you with his obsidian-colored eyes, his skin glowing from the moon that shines slightly through the window curtains, “I’ve liked you since the day you brought those muffins to my house. I thought you would never see me as more as a friend and I tried to use Cassandra to get over you. I never wanted to burden you if you didn't feel the same. Clearly, it didn’t work. Not even partially. I’m sorry.”

You press your forehead against Mark’s, pressing a lingering kiss to the shape of his lips as you use one hand to pull the hairs on Mark’s nape- causing him to groan before reciprocating.

You whisper to him, a beautiful sound to his ears, “Why are we so difficult? We’re such idiots.”

Placing your head on Mark’s chest, both of you collapse on to the bed, sleep washing over your minds. You hear Mark giggle before putting his right ear bud into your ear, the sound of a man’s voice humming:

One weekend in Portland, you weren’t even my girlfriend

We were walkin’ and talkin’

Then somebody said.. let's get tattoos together, something to remember

If it’s way too soon, fuck it, whatever

Give me shapes and letters

If it’s not forever, then at least we’ll have tattoos together

Mmm, ‘cause I love you

Mmm, ‘cause I love you

When you wake up the next morning, you and Mark are greeted by Jaemin and Renjun cooking breakfast in the kitchen as Jeno, Hyuck, and Chenle play mario kart on the old television in the living room. Jisung is setting the table with eating utensils while also stopping to look at his Nintendo switch every few seconds. Aside from reddened faces and teasing, the boys had already suspected of your making-up based on the blush that coats both of your faces. That afternoon, you call Chan on the phone through facetime, letting him know that you and Mark had made up. Chan tells him how happy he is to hear it, telling you that he’s always known how much Mark had liked you and that he didn’t hold a candle to how Mark would talk about you to the basketball team. You apologize out of worry that you’ve hurt Chan but like the gentleman he is, he tells you that you’ll always be good friends especially when he’s good friends with Mark.

The next few days are like dreams. Together, you, Mark, and the boys go gallivanting across Victoria island through the sea towns made of floating boathouses and seafood restaurants. You bring your polaroid camera with you, capturing memories of Hyuck dropping his ice cream, selfies with Jeno and Jaemin, and seagulls chasing Renjun- all in a few frames. Even one morning, all of you had the spontaneous but rather, stupid decision to get matching commemorative tattoos, each of them a different flower on your wrists to commemorate your friendship. Each afternoon meant picnics at the Goldmere Provincial Park or whale watching tours out on the cobalt waters that were foaming with white. Other days you’d all visit the aviation museum or opt to sample the best chocolate fudge at Roger’s after a small hike.

On the last night of your trip, Mark had made sure that he wanted to take you down Tiffany avenue before meeting up with the boys for dinner. He’d told you to dress nicely in which you all did, leading you by the hand down the shopping street as your tulle skirt wavered behind you. When the both of you came to a balcony that overlooked the water,  the ocean looked so vast like it could swallow you into the great swirls of turquoise and aquamarine as white ocean spray crashed on the sharp rocks. The sky turned a lavender shade that bloomed into a twilight pink, the sun barely touching the tips of the mountains. Mark had placed an item in your hand from his pocket, a pair of cherry earrings he had bought in a souvenir shop when you weren’t looking. It reminded you of the song on Mark’s playlist from several nights before:

Yeah, your cherry earrings are my favorite

It looks so good I had to save it

I’ve been hopin’, prayin’ we last forever

‘Cause there’s nothing better than you and I

A week ago, you told Renjun that in any circumstance, you would never go anywhere if it reminded you of your feelings for Mark, of your friends, of everything that had happened. Now, you’re glad to be able to let go, you’re able to feel the cold wind on the cliffs- Mark right by your side. Being wrapped up in the tight security of your boyfriend’s arms, (yes, Mark had asked for real this time) along with your best friends, you’re careful to not let go of them now. There’s no place that you’d rather be.

[imaginesmai]

Peter Parker-First kisses

Plot: Peter Parker’s and yours first, or five, first kisses.

Warnings: drug use, tiny bit of angst (nothing important), extreme fluff.

The first time he kissed you was in kindergarten. Peter and you had just met, you two being little kids with chubby cheeks and small feet. He was that kind of child who gets along with every other, and you were no exception. Since you were neighbours and your mother was good friends with May, you went to kindergarten together. One day, you were sitting in the play yard when Peter sat beside you, his little hands empty and his cheeks tear stained. He hugged his small knees and hid his face in them, as if he wanted to disappear.

“What’s the matter?” you asked him, your mouth full of sandwich.

“Flash took my lunch” Peter mumbled, his voice shaky. You looked back to see the kid laughing with his ‘friends’, in his mouth the cookies that May had prepared for him with so much love.

You frowned and looked back to Peter, who had his head out of his knees and was looking at the ground. His big brown eyes were full of tears, and you felt angry for your friend. As carefully as a child could cut a sandwich into two halves, you gave Peter part of your sandwich. It was smashed and his part was smaller than yours. Still, Peter’s eyes filled with happiness and pressed his lips against your food-full mouth.

“Ugh, Pete, that was gross!” you stuck out your tongue and pressed a hand to your mouth, wiping it furiously.

“It wasn’t gross!” he showed you a big smile. “Aunt May does that when uncle Ben does something good.”

“I don’t want to do that ever again” you shook your head and scoffed. “If you do it, I’m taking my sandwich back!”

Peter laughed and took a bite of his new food, half of them staining his t-shirt. Needless to say, you did that again.

 -

Your second kiss was a little bit different. Peter and you were starting high school, both of you still friends, as in the first day you met. Only that time, Ned and MJ were also there with you. Chemistry was probably your less favourite class, but it was the one that Peter loved. It was bearable if he was around. That day, he wasn’t in it. He had been missing for two days in a row, not sending you a text or calling you. Aunt May had told you that he was sick and that he was locked in his room, with high fever. So, you decided to pay him a visit.

“Peter?” you asked when you entered his apartment, using the keys May had let you.

Inside, it was dark and silent, but you heard faint cries coming from your best friend’s room. You ran towards there, expecting to see Peter crying because of the pain, because of the fever or because he needed help. You expected a lot of things, yet none of them was seeing him hanging from the ceiling, with his head upside down, while his tears hit the floor under him.

Of course, you screamed. You spent a few seconds screaming, as Peter moved his hands up and down in front of him and tried to talk through the sobs. When you were calmer, you managed to ask him.

“What-How the hell are you doing that?!” you almost screamed. Honestly, you were ready to faint.

“I-I don’t… I don’t k-know Y/N” he let out a sob. “There-There was… a s-spider, and then I-I, this, and n-now I don’t… I don’t k-know how to g-get off!”

Pushing your surprise aside, you stepped slowly until your noses were touching, and awkwardly locked your hand on his back. The idea was to pull until he touched the floor; two scared and panicking teenagers couldn’t really understand that gravity wasn’t on their side, so when he finally fell you ended up in the worst position you had even been.

His body had carried yours to the floor too, and his face was awfully close to your breasts. Stuttering and blushing, you stumbled away from him, and Peter wiped his tears away. Taking a few seconds to calm yourself and that strange thing that had just happened in your stomach, you talked again.

“What is this about?” you asked, sitting on the ground in front of him. “How-H-How did you get…there?”

“Promise me you’re going to listen to me” he took both of your hands between his, and squeezed them. “I’m not- it’s not a lie. But please, promise me you’re going to listen.”

“Yeah, I promise.”

Peter told you how, a week ago, he had visited a strange place with his uncle Ben, and a spider had bitten him. What started as improved senses, then was the ability to stick to walls. He confessed to you that he hadn’t told anyone, and that he was scared. While he talked, tears started to run down his cheeks, and his breathing became irregular.

You knew that Peter had problems with anxiety. He had always been a very nervous boy, and usually didn’t know how to handle his emotions. So, when he raised a hand and placed it against his chest, you started to panic. Either May or Ben were always there when something like that happened, ready to give him his inhaler; but they weren’t there.

“Where is your inhaler?” you looked around and got up. His bed was empty, his drawers were full of clothes and in his desk were a lot of weird books about fluids. Yet his inhaler wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Peter, I can’t help you! Where-Where is your inhaler?!”

When Peter looked up, you couldn’t believe your eyes. His inhaler, along with a lot of random objects, were on the ceiling, trapped by small white webs that reminded you to a spider house. You blinked surprised, finally realising the mess in your best friend’s room. There were test tubes, spoons, jars an vials. All of them filled with the weird white substance.

“Are they-Peter!” you dropped to your knees when you saw his face starting to get blue, his eyes wide and red. His throat didn’t let him get air, and he was drowning in anxiety. You did the only thing you thought about.

Technically, it wasn’t a kiss. It was just you joining your mouths and breathing in his. You had seen it done thousands of times in the films Peter and you liked to see on Friday’s night. Your hands gripped the ends of his hair, and you closed your eyes awkwardly.

It wasn’t beautiful; it was as messy as that room. When you parted, he was breathing again and you were as red as his future suit. His arms were around you in a second, and you hugged him tightly. That night, you slept on his apartment, with the permission of your parents; and you repeated again and again the same sentence.

“I’ve got you, no matter what”

 -

The third kiss was much more sadder, and held much more meaning. It was Tuesday morning and, against what people liked to tell in that kind of situations, the sun was high in the sky and the birds sang. Though no one was happy.

You were standing between Ned and MJ, looking down to the coffin in front of you. There were people crying, talking and some of them were in silence. All mourning the good man that had gone too soon. Excusing yourself softly, you walked towards your parents, who were talking with May. Peter was by her side, his hands hidden in his pockets and his head hung low. He wasn’t crying, but you knew he wanted to. After a sweet hug with May and a short goodbye to your parents, you took your best friend’s hand and started walking.

Peter kept quiet all the way, letting you lead him through the mass of people in the funeral. Once you reached a seclude place, you let go of his hand and looked at him. He had dark bags under his eyes, and since you were shorter than him, you could see his cracked lips and red nose.

“Did you sleep at all?”

The previous day, he had gotten a call from the police saying that Ben had been killed in an unfortunate accident. Your parents had told you that night, and Peter had told you that he wanted to be alone for a while. In that moment, you didn’t know if it had been a good idea.

Peter shrugged, not looking at you.

“Eat something?” you asked again, receiving the same answer. You sighed before talking again. “Did you, uh, went out?”

He knew what you were talking about. ‘Patrolling’, as he liked to call it, was dumb to you, so you had told him that you would talk about it as going out.

“For a bit” his voice was rough, and he had to cough after talking. You were the first person he had talked with.

“And did you get hurt?” you wondered. Peter’s attention was short, and if he was thinking about other things while swinging, he used to hit a wall or the ground. He shook his head before taking a shaky breath, his eyes becoming glossy.

“I miss him already” his bottom lips trembled, and you were glued to your best friend in a second. You wrapped your arms around him and he hid his head on your shoulder. At just fifteen years old, a huge height difference separated you.

“It’s going to be okay” you whispered, hearing the first sob breaking through. “It’s going to be okay, I’m here.”

Peter cried and his body shook, the peace around the trees breaking at his sobs. He soaked your nice and new black blouse you had wore that day and wrinkled it’s back, but you didn’t say a thing. You just gripped his curls tighter and repeated the same sentence again and again.

“I’m with you, no matter what”

Later that day, when everyone had already left the place, you found yourself in the same position. Your feet hurt and you arms were staring to feel tired from being up so much time. May and your parents walked towards you and stopped when you shook your head softly, telling them silently that you would meet them later. Peter needed that.

After what felt like two hours, Peter lifted his head between hiccups. He had his brown eyes swollen and his face was a mess. Still, you felt at odd feeling in your chest. His bottom lip quivered again, and he broke eye contact with you.

“I don’t want to go home” he whispered. “I don’t- May, she will be there… a-and I don’t w-want to face her.”

“That’s alright” you put a hand on his cheek, offering him a side-smile. “We can get something from Mr Delmar and eat in a rooftop. If you promise not to drop me”

Peter let out a sad laugh and nodded shortly, still not meeting your eyes. Another tear rolled down his cheek, and you got on your tip toes to kiss it away.

Because of being shorter than him, you didn’t really get to the tear, yet placed your lips awfully close to him. Actually, and if someone asked him, it was on his lips. You caught the tear with the corner of your mouth, and felt his chapped lips with the rest of it.

Peter’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open, not fully understanding what had happened. He tried to say something, but you were faster and you started making stupid excuses about it. With a furious blush, you hit his chest a few times and screamed at Peter that it had not been you fault, that it had been an accident he needed to forget about. Some hurtful words, as ‘I would never kiss you’ or ‘That was disgusting’, left your mouth; both of you knew that you didn’t mean it. Peter shut you up with a kiss on the cheek and gripped your hand, guiding you to where he had left his backpack with the suit.

The whole way, Peter and you had stupid smiles on your faces and fast beating hearts in your chest.

 -

Your fourth kiss didn’t actually happened, or at least not that the two of you remembered. It was late, Friday night and Flash was having the party of his life. Officially, Peter hadn’t been invited, but you had begged to your boyfriend to let him come; and that if he didn’t, you would cut one of his balls. They were good years, or at least they were for you. You were Flash’s girlfriend, and that had allowed you to give Peter an easier life. No more beatings, no more throwing the books to the ground, and no more ‘Penis Parker on your watch.

Besides, Flash was a good guy deep down. He liked to mock Peter because that was the only way to forget about the absence of his parents. His behaviour with you was sweet, caring and kind. But something was missing. As in every relationship or crush you had, something was missing.

That was probably why you ended up sitting by Peter’s side, not Flash, who had an angry pout on his face since the beginning of the game. You were too drunk to notice, and Peter was too drunk to not flirt with you.

“I think that’s enough drinking” Flash muttered. He had been the one daring Peter to drink, and he was regretting his decision. The boy thought he would leave you alone if he was drunk, but even after a bottle of whisky Peter was stuck with you.

“I think…” you raised your arm in the air, demanding silence. Eleven teenagers, who were sitting in your circle, looked at you with expectant eyes. “…it’s time for spin the bottle!”

Your proposal was met with shouts of approval, and you laughed, throwing your head back. You looked at Peter, who was trying to put the bottle on the ground and keep balance. The guy who was sitting on his left, who was as high as the ceiling, pushed him to the side, and he fell on top of you. Instead of apologising, Peter fell into a fit of laughs that made Flash leave angrily, muttering things under his breath.

“I don’t understand why you date him” Peter’s voice was slurry, it was the first time he had alcohol and his spidey senses were making it worse. He heard people around him starting to spin the bottle, but he could only focus on your eyes.

You squeezed them and smiled brightly at him, and he had to restrain himself from cupping your cheeks.

“He’s a good guy” you shrugged. “Besides, it makes him stay away from you.”

“You don’t-You don’t have to do that for me” Peter frowned, not really understanding your words.

“I do it if I want to do it” you stated; in your mind, those words had much more sense. “I like seeing you happy.”

Peter’s heart skipped a beat, his cheeks turning pink. He looked back to the floor, where a girl named Laura was getting rid of her t-shirt as a part of a dare. Some of the teenagers there cheered for her, others just laughed. Peter decided to stay quiet, flying to his own thoughts.

While Peter got lost in his mind, you kept playing to that stupid game. It was that girl turn, and she flickered the bottle. It moved in circles until, slowly, the blue end faced you.

“Truth or dare, Y/N?” Laura asked, propping on her elbows and making her breasts pop out. You knew the deal, you had heard the ‘truths’. They usually asked about who would you fuck in that group or who was the most attractive person.

You liked to think that you didn’t say truth because Flash wasn’t there and you wouldn’t fuck anyone apart from your boyfriend. But, the problem was that you didn’t know if you would be able to lie with that much alcohol in you system.

“Dare” you said out loud, and received some cheers. Until that moment, only Laura and you had chosen dare.

Laura smirked and called two of the boys over her side, where she whispered something on their ears. While they talked, you put your knees on your chest and looked around. They weren’t a lot of students left, only your group and another twenty, so you decided that it would be your last round. Besides that, Peter looked awfully tired.

“Alright” Laura’s voice startled you, and the boys went back to their places. “Y/N Y/L/N, I dare you to give Peter a shotgun kiss. Of weed.”

Your eyes widened and you gasped, not believing her words. Alcohol was something you had had before, and you knew how to handle it. But drugs, they were a different story. And you didn’t like one bit that the dare included Peter.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” you exclaimed. “Peter-It’s my dare, not his. Why are you putting him in?”

“Y/N-“

“Because we haven’t seen neither of you high!” she laughed. “Come on, is just a small drag.”

“Laura, we are talking about weed.” Peter talked, looking at her with a small frown.

“And? Look, if you don’t want to do it, I can change the dare.”

“Yes! Change it” you smiled.

“Then, Y/N Y/L/N, I dare you to smoke a whole joint by yourself” she looked through her purse until she found what she wanted.  A joint that could be as long as your finger.

“What?!” Peter shouted beside you. “That must be even lethal!”

“Then, do the shotgun kiss” she shrugged. “I don’t care.”

There was no way you were smoking that, and Peter knew it. You had never had drugs, and you didn’t want to end up in the hospital the first time you did. So, you took the joint and lighted it up with some difficulties.

Peter turned his body so that he could face you, and you did the same. Silently, you asked him with your eyes if he was okay with that. If he wasn’t, you were more than ready to take his hand and leave the place. Yet you were both drunk and secretly enjoyed the idea of being close to each other, so he repeated the words you had said to him two times in his life.

“I’m with you, no matter what”

Everyone around you was quiet, and you could hear Peter’s rushed breathing. He was as nervous as you, both of you for the same reason and it was not because of the joint. You gave him a shaky smile before leaning towards him.

Peter Parker had the kind of body-smell that was just nice, and that made you try to sniffle as many time as possible. You had been close to him in many occasions before, yet neither of them got you that nervous. Your eyes travelled from the collar of his t-shirt to his neck, then to his cheeks and finally to his eyes. Had they always been so beautiful, or was it the alcohol?

Breathing through your nose, you took a long drag and put your mouth next to Peter’s. The world seemed to stop.

You felt his breath on your mouth, his eyes flickering between your eyes and your lips. His nose brushed with yours because of the proximity, and he gripped your hand where none of those boys and girls could see them. He ran his tongue across his lips as you finished your drag, putting the joint down. Peter tilted his head a little so that your noses didn’t get in the way, and you opened your mouth when his wet lips touched yours.

A white and dense cloud of smoke travelled between that inexistent space and entered into his mouth, the teenagers cheered when they saw it. But you didn’t hear them. The joint made your head feel on cloud nine, and Peter’s body seemed warmer than ever.

It pained you, but once it was over, you came back to your place. Not knowing if the joint was what caused that strange fuzzy feeling in your chest.

 Your fifth-first kiss was a few years later, the weight of that forgotten touch on the lips hanging from your shoulders since then. The memory of it might had been blurry, but the feeling that rose with it weren’t. For a few months, your relationship was awkward; both of you were stuttering and blushing mess and didn’t know to look at each other to the eye. But you survived that, and Peter became again the little boy who had smashed his mouth to yours in kindergarten, and who had a pair of your favourite bed sheets in his room.

That day you had been there, laying on his bed with your head on your hands and earphones in your ears. A film was playing on his computer while he worked on the webs, wanting to make them stronger and longer. He was so focused on his task that he didn’t notice how a frown made its way to your face. Soft music was playing on the background when you took one of the earbuds and stopped the film.

It made you think.

The princess and the swan was an old movie, a child’s one. You had wanted to remember your childhood and made the bad decision on watching it. Probably, that you were on your period didn’t help the cause.

“Pete?” you called him out.

He was scrunched on his table, books and sheets scattered around it. He had big glasses on his head, and was wearing a wide, old sweater. You almost forgot your question looking at him, at the adorable face you had become accustomed to look at. MJ said it was proper stalking, but you preferred to call it ‘admire’.

“Parker!” you shouted, making him drop the pencil and jump in the chair. Immediately, he turned off the music and looked around, waiting to see May in the door or a curious neighbour on the window. He hadn’t still said to anyone who he really was.

“What? What?” he asked, his eyes finally focusing on you.

“I’ve got a question.”

“Should we appeal the ‘no judgment’ clause of our friendship?”

“Not this time” you chuckled. “It’s a serious one.”

“Okay, shoot” he turned back to his work, thinking it would be another dumb thing. “If it’s about area 51, my answer is still-“

“What do you like about me?”

The room became quiet and Peter slowly turned around, his eyes wide and his mouth hang open. He didn’t expect that question, not at all. Peter Parker had a lot of answers to it, actually, yet he didn’t think he could say out loud any of them.

You were frowning at him, your head tilted to the side. You were wearing his t-shirt from NY,  and a pair of his boxers. An outfit that made his answer a lot more complicated. He sighed and moved the wheeled chair until he was in front of you, his legs crossing.

“What is this coming from?” he looked towards the screen, and rolled his eyes. “I thought we said no Disney films on your period!”

“I know, I know!” you defended yourself. “But I couldn’t help it, it was my favourite movie. And you haven’t answered my question”

“Why do you ask me that?” Peter scratched his chin and pouted slightly.

“Because” you looked to your right. “when Flash and I broke up, you told me I deserved more. When Brad stood me up, you told me the same. When I didn’t get the college I wanted. And when my parents got the divorce!”

“And? It’s-It’s…. something you say. S-Something I said without meaning it” Peter’s words were rushed.

“I know you’re lying, Pete”

When, in the film, Odette asked the prince what he liked about her, he told her she was beautiful; nothing more. You expected Peter to give you the same answer, and you were already angry at him without a reason. That was what usually happened when you spent the night at his house; stupid arguments that solved up with pizza and playing UNO until late night.

Not in a million years would you have expected his answer.

“I like, I like about you that you stand up for yourself. Like, when someone is being unfair, you’re the first one to step up” Peter smiled shyly, blushing; still, he didn’t meet your eyes. “Not a lot of people do that, and certainly not everyone would date an asshat just so that he stop messing with their best friend.”

“Peter” you hit his arm playfully. “Flash was a good kid, just too boring”

Peter rolled his eyes and mumbled an annoyed  ‘whatever’, still not over the fact that you dated him. He coughed softly and fixed his eyes on the floor.

“I-I, you’re… you’re unique. You make me laugh like nobody else, and you have this personality that outshine everyone, in a good way. Funny, outgoing, nerdy and still the most amazing girl someone could dream about” Peter let out a breathy chuckle. “And-And, let’s talk about your face. Like, you have the cutest face! And facial expressions. You, damn, you can make a stone smile.”

Peter kept rambling about how he liked too the way you talked, your perks and a bunch of other things. A faint shadow of pink covered his cheeks all the time, and he messed up with his words sometimes, letting out short apologies. Both of you discovered that Peter Parker could spend hours talking about you and not getting tired.

Suddenly, his meaty hands and chubby cheeks came back to you; Peter kissing you in kindergarten, and you running to your mum that day and telling her you were getting married to the boy in the play yard. His shaky breaths and frightened eyes, and the way he kept thanking you for a month for doing what you did. Peter’s suffering because Ben’s death, your lips on his and he still saying sorry for something he didn’t did. And the boy you thought you loved smoking for the first time weed and getting a huge scolding from Mr Stark just for you.

“… and, besides all of that, I think you’re really pretty” Peter finished just then, finally meeting your eyes. When he saw your shocked face, his smiled dropped. “A pretty friend! What-What did you thought, idiot? I-I…wh-what I like th-the m-most about y-you is that you’re, hm, you’re a r-really good friend.”

Peter finished his sentence with a loud and awkward laugh, as he tried to get away with the wheeling chair. On the other hand, you weren’t willing to let it go. So you gripped the armchair and pulled him closer, until your faces were inches apart.

That time, you were aware of his heart beating in chest, and he was conscious of your ragged breathing. Your noses touched just like that night in the party, and you felt his breath on your mouth.

“I can say a lot of things that I like about you too” you mumbled, moving your eyes between his and his mouth. “I, I think I… well, I just like you. Not as a pretty friend. As, I don’t know, if you want, like a pretty boyfriend?”

Peter’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth, not believing your words. Your hands started to shake nervously against the armchair, and you bit your tongue to avoid any tears falling down.

You didn’t want to loose your friendship with Peter, that was more important than any feeling about him. You had enough with those stolen kisses, so why the fuck do you have to say anything, you fucking nuts. When your eyes started to get glossy and your stomach was turning and tossing like crazy, Peter took the initiative and kissed you.

Slowly, he tangled his fingers into your hair, making you move forwards and kiss him back. Your lips quivered into a happy smile as his moved over yours. It was soft, it was lovely and it was perfect. When you teared apart, neither of you moved from your spot, just stared at each other with stupid smiles.

“I would like you to be my pretty girlfriend too” he muttered against your lips, his own touching them with every word.

“I would like that too” you kissed his lips quickly, as he moved his hands and cupped your cheeks. “But, are you-“

“I’m with you, no matter what”

With that, you shared your second (or sixth) kiss.

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Kiss the Pain away

✿ Nct’s Renjun x Female!Reader ✿ Angst, fluff, not rlly smut but theres making out lol ✿ 2.3k words ✿ Not requested ✿ Written by Chii ✿ Masterlist!

A/N: hey kids its me,,,,renjun trash,,,whats newwwwww. I’ve had this wip for a while and got super inspired to finish it after listening to stay the night by kid travis! his other song sunset is what i wrote sunset ride too! also the blogs first year anniversary is the 10th I’M CRYING uwu - chii

✿ Description: When the world decides to unleash its wrath on you, you can find your peace of mind with someone.

         You throw your school bag on the ground, letting it fall wherever it landed and slammed yourself onto your desk chair. Your phone landed on your bed when you haphazardly threw it, annoyed. Huffing, you turned on your laptop to blast music directly into your ears in attempts to drown everything out. Unfortunately, a post-it you stuck on it earlier this week was staring back at you.

“Read your chapters for next week,” you said out loud after you ripped it off the screen. You forgot you had school work. Your teacher assigned four chapters to be read by next week before the class meets and you were only given the weekend to complete it all. It wouldn’t have been an issue if this week was the worst week of your life so far.

         You had gotten into the worst argument with your best friend. Lucas Wong was known around school, not for anything good though. He was a heartbreaker and you hated how much he played your best friend like a fiddle. He had been texting her, getting her hopes up and leading her on since the beginning of the semester. You thought back to when she called you at two in the morning, when she was well aware you both had class tomorrow at eight am, to ask you how she should respond to the text that he replied to. The one she sent six hours before that. You were looking out for her as friends should but she didn't see it that way. She let a boy blur her perspective of you. Her pink glasses of love turned into an angry red and accused you of wanting him as well, even going as far as to questioning your relationship with Renjun. Your brows furrowed at the last text either of you sent, is Renjun your rebound because I like Lucas? You left her with no response to her cold words and haven't talked to her since.

         The final you took on Tuesday came back with an ugly 47 inside a red circle. You canceled the date Renjun set up for you two in efforts to lift the finals week stress off of both of your shoulders. You studied late into the night every night. Right after classes, you rushed to the tutoring hall and the countless hours you spent studying went to waste. All that time with the tutor, the after class sessions with a student-teacher was for nothing. You were going to fail the class unless you took up the 25 page assignment summarizing the class which would be due a day before the semester was over, which was in two weeks.

         Your mind scanned all the problems you had, everything felt like rocks on your shoulders. Bringing you down, mentally and physically. The only things that helped you when you felt stressed were Renjun, your best friend and the playlist Renjun specially made for you for when you got stressed. Renjun was on his way home from his late classes, he had later classes and his commute was a lot longer than yours also. Your only option was music, so, you went into your files and played it. Your face lifted from its sour expression to a soft one when you read the title for the millionth time since he sent the playlist to you, for when the stars fall, i’m here. It was all lowercase and the playlist cover was of the two of you. You plugged in the cord and pressed play while you hauled the giant textbook from the corner of your desk and started reading. It was going to be another night coped up in your room.

         After an hour or so, you pushed out from under the desk and stretched your legs that lost blood flow about 10 minutes ago, they felt like pins and needles. You paused your music and you could hear arguing. Your phone was still sitting on your bed. You could see it lighting up every now and then in your peripheral vision but right in front of you was the big, heavy textbook. Your eyes grew tired from the highlighted lines and colorful pen marks that etched the paper. You hear the bed creak in the other room and footsteps downstairs. Dad was sleeping on the couch again. You sigh and shut the book on the desk. You had no motivation to keep reading the chapters. The moon outside told you that maybe it was time to sleep, so you tried to.

         As usual, the same things pop up in your head. False accusations from someone you could trust, separation of family and failure. Another night you considered crying in the pillow until you tired yourself out but tonight wasn't going to be that night. You knew Renjun finished his last final at 7 PM today and he would usually be home by 9 PM due to transportation time. You turned to your side and picked up your phone. An unknowing smile appeared on your lips when you saw Renjun as your lock screen, he was happily smiling as he sat on a picnic blanket. Your fingers move across the screen to unlock your phone and tap the messaging app. Your eyes scanned your most recent texts. Seven hours ago, a text from your college saying that final scores are out. A day ago, your mom asking you if there was milk in the fridge. Five days ago, a text from your ‘friend.’ Your mood soured and you sighed. Thankfully, Renjun's number was conveniently pinned on top of your most recents. Your fingers played across your screen to text him.

Y/N: are you awake right now? Renjun: I just got home, are you okay? Y/N: can i come over? Renjun: Of course, my parents are out on their monthly date night! Y/N: be there in 10 Renjun: I'll meet you at the door...is something wrong? Y/N: I’ll talk about it later Renjun: Alright love :(

You figure it was be best to tell him in person. You rolled off your messy bed to plant your two feet on the floor. You walk over to your closet to put something on to wear. The first thing you grabbed was one of his hoodies he gave you when you two first started going out and a random pair of black pants. You stuffed your keys, wallet and phone into your hoodie before opening your room slightly. Your mom was asleep but your dad called out your name when he heard the door hinges creak.

“Y/N?” You go down the stairs softly and walk down to the couch.

“Where are you going sweetpea? It's kind of late.” His voice was low, as if he just woke up, he probably did. He was always a light sleeper.

“I was going to visit Renjun. He just came back from his last final.” You couldn't lie to your dad and he trusted you enough to tell him the truth always.

“Ah, tell him I said hello,” your father paused before continuing, “keep him around sweetie. He really cares for you.”

You nod and you bid your dad a good night but he's already fast asleep. You sighed and fixed the blanket he had over himself before going to slide on a pair of shoes.You walk out of the door and lock it behind you. You stepped foot out the house and into the night. The sky was dark but littered with stars, mocking you almost. As dark as the sky got, there was always something shining either it be the moon or the stars. You had nothing right now.

         The walk wasn’t too long, only 15 minutes. You walked closer and closer to the white house on the corner of his street. Your feet stopped at his blue mailbox with gold stickers reading out 127 on them. At your feet you see a silhouette in the orange light, your eyes follow it and there was Renjun was sitting on the steps in front of the door. The orange patio light shining from above him. You followed his shoes up his jean clad legs, all the way up to his face buried in his phone. You walk up to him and he looked up at you. He stood up and brought you into a warm hug that you wished could last forever. He mumbled a small, “I missed you so much.” You give him a lazy smile and kiss his cheek.

“Do you want to stay out here or go inside?” He asked while you were still hugging his chest.

Mumbling an “inside,” he let go of you and opened the front door. You two tossed off your shoes before going to his room, hand in hand. The sound of footsteps in sync up the wooden stairs was the only sound that could be heard before he opened his room door.

         "When did you rearrange your room?" You said as you stepped into his room. The white walls were lined with his sketches and drawings. A picture of you two was proudly placed on his desk right by his laptop that was playing music at a low volume.

"Just this week, I wanted to face the window at night. Helps me sleep I’ve realized,” he said as you walked around his bed and picked up the couple plushie you bought for you two. You held it in your arms as you sat on his bed. The springs creaking as his dark blue sheets wrinkled under your weight. You giggled before speaking, “to watch out for UFOs?"

"You know me so well but no, the moon and sun reminds me of us." You turned your head to smile at Renjun. He mirrored a similar expression before walking over to the side of the bed you were on.

He crouched down and looked at you, “tell me what's wrong.”

         You explained to him the events of the past week. His heart sank. He wasn't able to be there for you. He was dealing with academic related issues too but he was beating himself over not checking up on you every now and then. He felt guilty but he was there for you now, so, Renjun slowly moved you into his chest. Letting you rest on him. You took this chance to bury your face into his sweater and hug his frame. You felt the tears starting to form. As you kept talking, Renjun would stroke your head and back, trying to provide a sense of comfort and safety for you.

         When you finished spilling your worries out to him, you looked up at him with teary eyes. His thumbs found their way to your cheeks and wiped away the evidence of your sadness. Your eyes fluttered in between his eyes and his lips as he came close to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I’m sorry nothing worked out the way you wanted to it,” he mumbled. When he pulled back, you pulled him back in, on the lips. You didn’t know what took over you. All you knew was that you needed something to help you temporarily forget your troubles. He was taken aback at first but gave into you. He closed his eyes and let you do what you needed to do. He blindly pulled the sleeves of his sweater down to his hands. You felt the soft fabric against your cheeks as he wiped the hot tears streaming down your face again. As if Renjun’s entire being was pushing out all the negativity you had inside you, the worries you had washed away each second you two spent against each other.

         You let your arms circle around his neck, your hand weaving themselves in his hair and eventually playing with it while you kissed him. The kiss was soft at first but turned intense.Your nails slightly scratched at his scalp, he felt shivers up his spine. Your noses bumped each others while you deepened the kiss as far as you could with the sudden need of his lips unlike you ever felt before. When you pulled a little too hard on his hair, he groaned and it knocked you out of your trance. You quickly moved away from him. His eyes fluttered open, his lips a deeper hue of pink and his hair, messy. He blinked a few times before looking at you. Your hair was also a mess and your lips looked swollen.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you are you okay?" You worryingly asked, the last thing you wanted to do was hurt him accidentally.

His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him, "I'm fine." Your legs dug into his bed at either side of his body. You straightened yourself up as he held your back. You saw his dark eyes glitter in the moonlight as he look up at you. You felt him shift to sit up straight and hold onto your waist now. He let your fingers lace together at your sides before he placed a kiss on your knuckles. He looked up at you through his lashes before trailing his hand up your arm. You sat down in between his legs and he gently moved your hair from your shoulders. His lips brushed against your collarbone before giving it a featherlight kiss.

“Is this alright?” His breath was hot against your skin. You nodded. He felt your hands back in his hair, you unknowingly gripped on it harder and harder but he didn’t mind. It was like encouragement. His lips fell into one area above your collarbone before latching on and leaving harsh kisses, each one feeling like a burn, something you could get addicted to. Your hands went under his sweater to lift it off and to leave him in a plain white t shirt.

         You were wrong about having nothing. The darkest skies in the night had something to hang onto for support. Something to make them feel like a whole. You had Renjun.

i love huang renjun that is all uwu - Chii

Please don’t claim this as your own and please don’t do anything with it without my permission. If you don’t want it happening to you, don’t do it to others.

[jenotional]

flowers in my throat; lee jeno

word count: 1.68k

pairing: lee jeno x reader 

genre: romance | boyfriend au → fluff | soft boyfriend au → angst | bad boy au 

guys this is it! prompt list can be found here. i was really inspired and motivated to write these days thanks to lee jeno who works harder on wrecking my heart and stomping all over it ! but i am not complaining. this piece is basically a roller coaster, from romance > fluff > angst, please hang tight! warnings will be mentioned below. enjoy reading! xoxo, soya

➳ things you said at 1 am boyfriend!au | romance

“Do you ever think about what will happen to us?” He asks, almost too quietly.  

Through hooded eyes you could see how he’s curled slightly to fit beside you on your small bed, feel his hot breath against your ear, lids heavily pressed, the tip of his nose barely brushing over your arm as he sighs and his grasp around your waist loosens.

The night was so dead, pitched black with the moon which hung high above, the only light source pooling over the entire town, casting a white sheen of silver unto tall buildings and small houses’ rooftops. Moonlight seeps through the window seals and find its way to greet your silhouette laid beside a young man. A gleaming white shadow strokes the highs of his cheekbones, caresses his toned, relaxed muscles, as he snores faintly with dreams stirring him back and forth through time and reality.

Gently, you graze your hand through the midnight curls that is his. He groans, as if to say he liked it, and reaches out to grab your hand to make it stay there, lingering.

He waits for you to answer, holding in his breath as his grip tightens; he pulls your hand down to his cheek, lips, and ever so softly, pressed a kiss to your palm.

“I do,” you answer, finally.

It was far more complicated in your head – a mix of doubt and fear, but he is here right now. What more is there to be afraid of?

In your head another train of thousands and millions of answers muddle in your mind. There are the simple ones, where you could easily go, “Ah yes, I do.”—which was what you went for—but there were also the complicated ones, the ones you preferred to keep to yourself. It flows in and out, from whispers to ink on paper, but it never really goes out to him.  

“Well… What do you think about?”

He breathes through his nose, eyes still closed.

“Everything,” you murmur, sliding your hand up to his hair again, tangling it in between your knuckles.

In your head, you thought about it. The answer to his question was simple, but why was it so hard to say it? It was infinite. A train that keeps going with no destination, not until it clashes into another train. Maybe then it would have meaning.

“…I love you, __. You… You know that right?” He chuckles in his sleep, bringing his arms to his chest where he twines them underneath the sheets to keep them away from the cold.

He was snoring by the time you opened your mouth to say it back. Sucking on his left thumb gently as he gently kicks away the blankets unconsciously. You check your alarm and bend to pull the sheets to tuck him in just right, pressing your lips against his forehead, you whispered what you wish he hears in his dream whilst in slumber.

You hope the moon watches over him, the tides guides his way, the stars makes his wishes come true.

“I love you more.”

☾

➳ things you said over the kitchen table soft boyfriend!au | fluff

There were eggs and bacon over the counter, served with a toasted piece of bread, spread with slight melted cream cheese.

He stands with his back facing towards you, his crinkled white tee shirt tucked underneath a blue apron with an embroiled daisy at the top corner front. He messes his free hand in his hair for some time, as his other stirs the contents frying in the pan with a wooden spatula, lips pressed together as he hums a random melody he has heard on the morning radio a few days ago, making up lyrics in his head as he’d mumble it out softly, careful not to be too loud.

“Good morning, love.” You greet him with a shy smile.

He turns with a surprised face, not expecting you to be up so early on a Thursday morning where you’ve already decided to skip work the previous evening. When you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulled him in to burry your nose in his neck—so you could wake up to this, in his sweater with tousled hair, beaded sweat on your neck, looking forward for a morning shower with him.

“Oh, wow.” He smiles brightly, noticing how small you looked in his hoodie. “Morning, sunshine.”

You walk towards him to sit on the stool as he turned off the stove and pours the remaining scrambled eggs onto his plate. “Just in time for breakfast,” he says, and you smiled.

Last night as you laid in bed with him, he told you about how he had planned to spend the day with you. “I want us to go to a farm. A friend recommended a place, and it’s not too far from home. There’s also a fresh market around the corner, and oh, there’s baby ducks too. I’d like to pet them,”

How can this boy be so sweet?

With his frame engulfed in your arms, he suddenly seem like a child you’d like to protect with your life. With his messy velvet jet black hair thrown back with his casual combing, bare skin against your own under the sheets with his toes brushing against your ankles – he speaks his language that once was so foreign, now a song you listen to every second and learnt the lyrics by heart, breath a hot puddle under your ear as he murmurs away his lovely quotes. A lullaby, a caramel sweet; his touch like honey, gaze like sunshine hitting the floorboards on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

“Would you come with me, love?” He whispers, eyes closed and fingers wrapped gently around your wrist.

“Of course, darling. I’d love to pet the baby ducks too.”

_

“How’d you sleep?”

“Well.” You grin, watching as he pulls out a seat for himself, hands grabbing onto the silver utensils already. “You?”

“Barely. I was too excited to pet the ducks,” he laughs, eyes disappearing into moon crescents.

Your heart melts a little.

“Eat up, love. Don’t wanna be late for the bus ride, do we?”

☾

➳ things you said over the phone bad boy!au | angst  mentions of death

Rain pours all over, hitting the stoned cold ground constantly – drip, drip, splatter – as if this moment is on looped, never ending pouring of cold rain falls from the merciless sky.

Your coat is drenched. The moisture seeps through the cotton and stains the blouse you wear inside, sticking to your skin, the howling wind cursing you to freeze on your knees. But you had no choice but to stand under this small roof that apparently has a small hole in the middle. Leaking through the rain as it hits the floor, sprinkling everywhere, soaking your socks. You sighed, and force yourself to move slightly to your left, but the roof was so small you were barely being sheltered at all.

The funeral was over, tears were dried. Your mascara is a smudged mess under your eyes, and the rain just had to make it better.

A huge crowd bided goodbyes, gave their condolences, placed the dying flowers on the casket, and wiped away your tear. You didn’t know who they were. All were blurry faces, muted voices, lost in a room smelt of death.

“It’ll get better, I swear.” Your mother says, squeezing your shoulder as you wept in her arms. “You’re a strong woman, __. You can get through this.”

Isn’t that what they all say?

You feel a grumble in your stomach; you haven’t eaten a proper meal since last Tuesday. Looking up, you see the clouds. They were all jumbled up together into one angry pair of eyebrows, furrowed up and wrinkled at the forehead, gazing down at you – questioning, judging.

You shrugged inwardly, almost laughed out loud.

What do you have left? Nothing. The sky took everything away.

The streets weren’t busy. A bus stop was across the street, a man sits there staring at his lap with a child standing next to him, also staring. At what, you don’t know. But they looked so hopeless, lifeless even. You scoffed.

Suddenly, your phone starts buzzing in your pocket. It rung four times before you could reach for it from behind and receive the other end’s calling. You place the wet device over your ear, sighing.

“Hello?”

The line buzzes, coughs, and you sighed again.

“__, can you hear me? It’s me, Jeno!” The boy shouts over the phone.

The line buzzes again, and you pull the phone away to check the caller ID. It was an unsaved number in your phone, he’s probably calling with a public cell.

You hesitated to hover the phone over your ear, you don’t know why. But you exhaled sharply, and did it anyways. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m at Dale’s Diners! Well, not really, but around the corner!”

You waited for him to say more.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, something came up at home with my mom, y’know? But I called because I care about you and I need you to know that. What happened really suck, and I’m sorry but there was nothing you could’ve done to have prevented it. And you were right, I am a fool for doing what I did, but I don’t regret anything. So please,”

He was out of breath, panting as he held onto the payphone, staring into the rain with loose change in his damp palm.

“Please, __, come home so I can talk to you again.”

The line buzzes.

“Please don’t let us end like this.”

The line ends.

thank you so much for reading! 

[hyugapineapple]

Of kisses and hidden crushes [KuroKen]

Kozume Kenma was completely and hopelessly in love with Kuroo Tetsurou.

He knew it. He knew it for a long, long time when he first noticed how beautiful his best friend looked in the light of the sunset at age of 13. He knew it when Kuroo grabbed his hand to pull him up after the blonde's fall from his bike at age of 14 and Kenma realized just how soft and warm Tetsurou's skin felt against his fingertips. He knew it when Tetsurou stared at him then laughed softly at Kenma's pout when the other refused to get out of the bed and play volleyball at age 15. Kenma realized that Tetsurou's chuckle was one of the most beautiful sounds he could ever hear. He knew it when he saw Kuroo's worried frown when Kenma fell ill and had to stay in bed for almost a week, missing all their practices and their usual meetings at Kuroo's porch at age of 16. Kenma concluded that Kuroo was too beautiful and too kind-hearted to worry about anything in this world.

And he knew it now, at the age of 17, as he stared at the brunet who was sleeping peacefully in Kenma's bed.

It was another usual night for them. Kuroo dropped at his place around 8 PM as he did it every Tuesday and Thursday - the days when they didn't have volleyball practice. They did their homework, Kuroo tutoring the blond and helping him when Kenma stumbled across some complicated task. Then they played some games and watched several movies with Tetsurou commenting with his best poker face every detail of the movie, having an amused Kenma hitting him, trying to shut him up. Then they went to bed, chatting about random things as Kuroo slowly fell asleep while Kenma played on his mobile. When Kenma finished, Tetsurou was already in deep sleep, his hot breath hitting Kenma's slightly pink cheeks while the other admired Tetsurou's facial traits.

Kenma stared and thought. He admired Kuroo's long lashes and the shadow they formed on his cheekbones and thought about how kind and loving Tetsurou was. He looked at his strange hairstyle and meditated about how Kuroo's laugh made his insides churn and twist in excitement and something...warm and endearing. He liked to think that it was love. Kozume glanced at Kuroo's sharp jaw and his straight nose and contemplated about the way his best friend made him feel every time he smiled or pulled him in a hug. And of course, he gazed at his lips, those rosy, plump and soft looking lips of Kuroo Tetsurou and he thought about the countless times when he wanted to kiss them.

But he couldn't and wouldn't do that.

Kenma wasn't blind nor stupid. He understood it that Kuroo would never let him hold his hand or wrap his arms around his body or love him the way Kenma ached to. He knew it that he would never get the chance to kiss the brunet or look in his eyes and tell him that he loved him, that he adored him with his whole heart and that he couldn't live a day without him. He knew it that Kuroo loved him too. But it was not the same kind of love. Kuroo would never fantasize about kissing Kenma and holding him tightly in his arms as they shared the most intimate touches and whispers. It was impossible. Because they were best friends. Best friends don't do such things.

Kuroo was...Kuroo. He was attractive, smart and charismatic. He attracted plenty of people, both males and females. He had from where to choose. He'd never look at Kenma. Hell, Kenma wouldn't look at himself either if he was in his place. Kozume was boring and...plain. He was skinny, short and not very handsome. He was not exceptionally smart, well built or very sociable. He'd rather isolate himself from others and play games or read rather than going to dates or socialize in general. He'd rather munch on his apple pie and admire the sunset rather than partying or going out. He was boring, so he accepted the fact that his best friend wouldn't cast a second glance at him if it were to choose someone as his lover.

Kenma understood. Kuroo most likely preferred loud, charismatic people, people who knew what they wanted and how to get it, not for awkward, shy boys who hated human interactions. He was sure that his best friend went for tall, gorgeous men or women. He deserved something that would match his looks, not a short, skinny body with a plain, boring face. He felt a pang of something bitter and suffocating in his heart everytime he thought about his chances with Kuroo. He always brushed it off and blamed it on his tiredness or maybe hunger. Kenma wasn't jealous or hurt. He understood.

Yet he found himself staring at Kuroo's face again and he bit his lip to hide his soft, sad sigh. He felt so envious of those who were lucky enough to fall in love with someone who returned their feelings. Bonus points if they were old, close friends. He wanted the same. He wanted Kuroo to love him and stare at him with the same adoration that Kenma felt everytime his eyes landed on Kuroo while he looked away. It was unfair. Very, very unfair. But he couldn't do anything other than holding back his "I love you's" that practically burned his chest in their need to be spoken. He couldn't do anything but bite his lip and look down, ignoring his growing need to hold Kuroo and never let him go.

Life surely sucked for Kenma Kozume.

After a few more seconds in which Kenma kept looking at Kuroo, the blond averted his gaze and shifted backward a little, as if he feared the fact that Kuroo might have heard his thoughts and he needed to look for an escape. He thought about getting out of the bed to maybe head out or at least stare at the night sky from his balcony to get some fresh air. But his limbs felt weak and sluggish so he dismissed the idea almost immediately.

Deciding that sleep would be a far better idea, the blond nestled comfortably in the small space that his bed provided and sighed again, ready to fall asleep. And he would if it weren't for the fact that Kenma found himself staring at Kuroo's face again.

“God damn it.” The blond thought, glaring at the brunet as if it were his fault that Kenma couldn't tear his eyes off of him. It probably was.

A sudden thought popped up in the blond's head. A stupid thought, to be fair. Reckless, even, but so, so, tempting. Kenma felt his cheeks coloring up and his breath hitching lightly as he analyzed the possible outcomes for his actions. He wanted to try to do it. After all, a peck on the cheek wouldn't scream "I am in love with you and I've been like this since my pubic hair started to grow, please love me back.", right? Okay, maybe not "that" kind of message, but still. Innocent pecks on the cheeks or forehead were a friendly gesture, weren't they?

Still, he found disadvantages as well. Kuroo could get suspicious if Kenma decided to kiss him out of the blue. They both knew that Kenma was not a tactile type of person so this kind of actions could provoke a whole interrogating session and Kenma's secret wouldn't be a secret anymore. He couldn't allow that to happen. Another drawback was Kenma's fear that Kuroo might see that gesture as something disgusting. He knew that Tetsurou liked boys too, but that didn't mean that he would accept a peck from his best friend. As irrational as it sounded, Kozume was still considering this outcome. He didn't want to destroy their friendship because he was stupid enough to kiss him.

"But you could kiss him right now while he sleeps." A voice whispered in Kenma's head. "It might be your only chance to kiss him ever". The same voice punctuated. Kenma had to admit that it made sense.  Kissing him in his sleep could be his only opportunity in his whole life. It would be the closest he could get to Kuroo when it came to romantic gestures. It was worth a shot. Nothing bad would happen. Kuroo seemed to be dead asleep and Kenma was going to be very careful. Just a quick peck and things would go back to normal. He hoped.

Taking another deep breath, Kenma leaned in, awfully slow and careful, watching the brunet with alert eyes, looking for any signs of consciousness on Kuroo's face. His breath grew heavier as he tried to inhale and exhale as calmly as he could, trying to muffle the insane beat of his heart in his chest. He was so, so, so scared and anxious. But at the same time, he felt a tug of excitement and impatience in his chest. He couldn't believe that he was about to do it.

But of course, of course, that something had to happen. Why was he even surprised?

Right when Kenma's lips were about to touch Kuroo's cheeks, Tetsurou had the fucking audacity to decide that it would be a good idea to move. Exhaling peacefully, the taller male shifted in his sleep and tilted his head a little. Everything good, if it weren't for the fact that his movements caused Kenma's lips to be pressed against Kuroo's ones. Wonderful.

With wide eyes, Kenma scrambled back, mouth slightly agape as he stared at the other. His cheeks burned like as if he was placed in some overheated oven and Kenma was pretty sure that his chest would burst open if his heart continued to beat with that insanely fast pace. This was bad, this was very, very bad. And the worst part?

Tetsurou stared back at him with identically wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

Kenma felt his eyes stinging with tears and he bit his lip, not being able to avert his gaze. That was it. Kuroo will sit up and leave his room, disgusted and angry at him. He won't wait for him in the morning so that they could walk to school together.  He won't smile or wink at him when they passed by each other on hallways. Kuroo won't put all his trust in Kenma's tosses and tactics at practice anymore. They won't walk back home together and they most certainly won't have any sleepovers anymore. All because Kenma was the biggest idiot and dumbass that this world ever had. What was he thinking? It wasn't some game or the plot of a shitty shoujo manga or romantic show. It was real life, things didn't work like that.

He was about to swallow his tears and sobs to apologize and crawl away from Kuroo, already accepting his fate when Tetsurou moved again. Gently, he cupped Kenma's cheeks and wiped the few tears that rolled down his cheeks and pulled him closer.

Then, he kissed him.

The kiss was a real one this time. The brunet moved his lips slowly against Kenma's ones, making the blond widen his eyes even more, freezing in Tetsurou's arms. He was right, Kuroo definitely had the softest and sweetest lips. Not that he kissed other people before. Slowly, he closed his eyes and returned the kiss. He knew that he wasn't the best kisser and that Kuroo definitely had more experience than him, but Kenma didn't let that bother him. He wanted to savor that moment for as much as he could before he had to face whatever consequences his actions provoked.

When they pulled back, the blonde wanted to whine, the sudden absence of Tetsurou's lips over his mouth being almost too much for him. He slowly cracked his eyes back open and was quite surprised to find Kuroo smiling at him, his thumb still caressing Kozume's cheek gently.

"Please tell me that you didn't kiss me because you're a sleepwalker." Kuroo murmured, half joking and half serious. Kenma's cheeks took a deep shade of red and immediately looked away, hoping that the taller boy wouldn't notice his ridiculously bright blush. He glared at the duvet that the two of them shared and shook his head slowly.

"You already know it that I am not sleepwalking." was his short answer and Kuroo laughed in response. He snaked his arms around Kenma's middle and pulled him closer, burying his face in the blond's hair as he inhaled Kenma's scent and sighed peacefully. Kenma could only blush more (if that was even possible) and return the hug, still confused as hell. Was Kuroo sleepwalking? "You didn't turn into a sleepwalker either, did you?" he asked, just to be sure.

Kuroo cackled again and shook his head, humming a "no" in response. Then, he pulled back a little to look at Kenma, his gentle smile still on his lips.

"I'll assume it that you're having an equally huge crush on me as I do on you." the brunet beamed wider, his eyes remaining soft and caring. Kenma could swear that he saw a frail blush on his cheeks as well, but he decided that he was just tired and he started seeing things. Probably. "Either that or I'm imagining things and my unrequited attraction to you will stay unrequited till the rest of my life." Tetsurou finished, staring right into the blond's eyes. The said boy gazed back into Kuroo's eyes, shock and disbelief written all over his face while he processed his words. When he decided that he was definitely not dreaming or imagining things, Kenma buried his face back in Tetsurou's shirt and clutched his shirt in his fists, too embarrassed to look at him anymore.

"You assumed right." He managed to mumble in response, smacking Kuroo's arm gently when the other laughed, louder this time.

After a few moments, the brunet wrapped his arms securely around the other boy and squeezed him a little, pecking his hair lovingly. Kenma breathed surprised but decided not to say anything. He had no idea how to respond anyway.

"We'll talk about this in the morning, okay?" Kuroo whispered quietly. "But what I want you to know right now is that I've been waiting for this kiss longer than you could imagine." he finished, the smile evident in his voice.

Kenma stared at the other's shirt with wide eyes as his chest swelled with happiness and the same warm, endearing feeling that he felt when Kuro laughed or hugged him. It was definitely love. Finally, he closed his eyes and snuggled closer to the brunet's body, hiding his wide, face-splitting smile.

"Me too."

Thank you for reading!

This work can also be found here

[lettersfromjuliet-blog1]

My First Week in Nepal!

Why does it take me so long to start journaling when I arrive in a new country? It’s pretty frustrating-- makes it harder to recall the days. Might as well give it a go. New country, new journal.

First impression of Nepal: the weather. It’s so nice and finally feels like spring. I met Hannah, Fran, and Jeremy in the van at the airport. They were all very friendly, but not like they are now. Not that they seemed fake or anything of that sort, but first greetings are always different. I feel as if nobody is who they truly are the first time you meet them.

I’ve come to enjoy everyone thus far. We met Fergus on arrival at the hotel where Janella, Ellie, Lottie, and Simon already were. We were given our rooms and then went wandering around Kathmandu. It is similar to Sri Lanka as far as the streets go (crowded spaces and pressure to walk straight in order to avoid being hit by a car). Buddhist flags hung everywhere-- blue, red, white, green, and yellow. We walked around for about an hour, the shops were quite cool. There are many hippie-style clothing shops and some art shops as well. That night we had dinner, some went out, and of course, I went to sleep.

On Sunday, the whole group went on a walk to a square that is supposed to have neat architecture, but we didn’t end up going in because it cost money. So we walked around some more instead. I found a wonderful embroidery patch to add to my collection and a fun headband! After lunch, we went to a Buddhist monkey temple with a complete view of the city. There was a lady who gave me a candle to put at the alter type thing, and I thought “why not?” . So I did. But after, she insisted I pay for the candle-- a detail she failed to mention beforehand. I should have seen it coming though. I didn’t want to be scammed so I said no-- which led to her cursing me. I think. I’m not entirely sure what happened.

After that event, we went to a Hindu temple-- Pashupatinath Temple. It was the one Michelle had told me about from her time in Nepal. She had said that it was families held funerals, but not the ones that we are used to. And sure enough, there were funerals going on. It was a confusing thing to watch. Even though we were on the other side of the river that ran through the site, there was a clear view of the obviously personal events taking place. The bodies were wrapped in an orange cloth and their families were standing around them while they said goodbye and cremated the body. We were told that it was okay to watch, but it felt wrong to make a tourist attraction out of the loss of somebody’s loved one. The gloomy sky and stillness in the air made everything feel even more heavy. I began praying, but came close to tears. What could I pray for? This person died a Hindu, not with the God I know. They were not at peace, at least by my religious standards and all I wanted to do was cry. They went an entire life not knowing Jesus. But I’m sure they would say the same for me and my lack of Hinduism. To top it all off, there was a monkey running around with only one hand. Not my favorite spot.

Monday was an early morning with a three hour bus ride through the mountains to go river rafting. My raft, the group-titled goat boat, had Jeremy, Hannah, Ellie, Archie, Janella, and Shawna in it. It was a fun time. At some points we would jump into the river from the raft and go swimming in the chilling water. Coby started a trend of flipping out of the rafts-- which is more difficult than you would expect. Toward the end, we hit a big rapid where Janella fell out, Shawna barely stayed in, and the rest of us fell into the middle of the raft. It caused the type of laughter that inhibits your ability to speak. Boy did it feel good to laugh like that. We passed under some bridges high suspending bridges along the way and drifted through the refreshing nature and mountains.

There was another long bus ride after rafting to our hotel in Chitwan. People went out and did some yoga and Zoe and I stayed in and called it a night.

Tuesday was another early morning. We were scheduled for a safari, but to get there we had to take a little canoe across the river-- a great start to the day. My group for the safari was a fun time. We had Ellie, Lottie, Fergus, Kieren, Archie, Fran, Hannah, Freddie, and Simon. There were rhinos (my first wild rhino sighting), a deer, some monkeys, crocodiles, and plenty of birds. Sadly, no tigers. The first few hours were fun, but then I just got tired and a bit bored.

After lunch, we went on another canoe journey where we saw more crocodiles and birds, and Hannah picked up a water cabbage pet-- Bobby. We got out for a jungle walk where we saw many more deer (which for an animal that is common back home, is still beautiful). There was also the absolute largest bee nest I’ve ever seen. It was hanging off the bottom of a tree and looked liked a camel hump. We sat in the grass and watched a rhino for a while which was really peaceful with the clear sky and fresh air.

Later that night we went to a culture show which was pretty decent, everyone’s favorite was the elaborate peacock dance. At the end most of us went up on stage and learned a dance, and oh my goodness was Coby entertaining.

Wednesday. My least favorite day of the trip. It consisted of ten hours traveling in a bus, for which a total of three of those hours we were completely stopped. I was losing my mind! There was a small waterfall on the side of the road which cooled us off a bit, thankfully since the bus was so enclosed and hot.

Thursday was our first day of volunteering in Pokhara. I went to the farm that is run by the children’s home. In the morning I was turning soil and in the afternoon I was, or tried to, move stones. By stones, I mean great slabs of rock that were probably the same size as most arms. Not quite as strong as I used to be. The baby goats at the farm are purely amazing. Roger is my favorite. He jumps a lot. They’re much much smaller than I was expecting-- and softer too. After the work we had to walk down the cliff in the rain, which was nerve wracking and very cold. But we made it. And created a memorable experience.

Friday was the fun run that about half the group participated in. I went to the orphanage with Ben and Seb which wasn’t bad. But there really wasn’t much to do. I painted a smiley face on a wall, watch kids play cannonball, and watch a Hindi movie that I did not understand for nearly an hour. Since it was a school break, there weren’t that many kids at the orphanage and not a whole lot to do. I would have enjoyed it more if it felt like I was needed or was helping in some way, but I felt like the kids were entertaining themselves for the most part.

That night was the big Nepali new year celebration. We went out to a bar and I had a drink and danced a bit. After, we walked about two kilometers to a festival and along the way I made friends with a dog. We stayed until midnight in a big crowd of people dancing to some random Nepali artist. On the way back Zoe, Jeremy and I got a pizza and we got back to hostel around 1:30 in the morning. It was a pretty solid night. Some drama, but not enough to put a damper on anything. Happy New Year Nepal!

~a letter from juliet

[beehindthesceens]

Thing I wrote

This is just concept stuff for a series I'm working on. I quite like it so why no share it? If you have any constructive criticism please do tell. and uhh yeah enjoy ig.

(btw this was originally something for school so if it feels rushed... it was. Another thing is that I'm planning on re-writing the last bits and probably expanding on everything else later.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

*this is not based on real witchcraft, it’s just a made-up system of magic

Ida was a witch, the last of her kind. Not saying witchcraft was dead, it was just dead where she was. The only other person in her life that openly did magic was her mother, but she was gone. Not dead just somewhere else. At least she hoped she was just somewhere else. But Ida didn't let these thoughts bother her too much anymore. She had grown to like it when it was quiet. The silence helped her listen and learn about herself and the things around her.

The rather petite girl looked out the window of her little forest cottage she used to share with others. The morning sun just barely shone through the crosses that sat in front of the glass panes. Vines and flowers covered and flowed throughout the kitchen. Mushrooms and herbs growing in between the cracks of the stone wall. Ida eyes continued thoughtlessly looking at the same scenery she’s seen for years now. Beyond the window was a large field with a dry dirt path. Surrounding it was grass greener than emerald and flowers of all sorts spread across the ups and downs of the hills forward. On the side was a green house where Ida got most of her food, if not from the walls of the kitchen. But in the middle of it all, was a big weeping willow tree. She used to think that it looked to be taller than the gods sometimes. Its slumped branches simply danced with the wind.

Swaying with the leaves was an old wooden swing Ida would use so often in her youth. She would sometimes think of fixing it but always talked herself out of it. She constantly told herself that there would be no use for it. As nowadays she simply wanders around looking for anything new. For she was now too big to fit the swing. But that didn’t matter much anymore.

Ida didn’t like to linger on the past. She thought it was a waste of time. It wasn’t like Ida had anything else to do though. She told herself it was all the king’s fault. It was his fault that she’s miserable. It’s his fault her mother was gone. It was his fault she lived this boring life that only kept on looping over and over.

Though deep down inside, she knew that to be false. Accepting that was hard. One of the hardest pills to swallow. But Ida wasn’t ready to take her medicine yet. What she was ready for though, was another day full of dull adventures and almost tripping on wet leaves. Well, I suppose that the adventures weren’t that dull. When you can see spirits and creatures of the unknown, it spices things up a bit. However the interactions with said creatures were give or take, the same. They would say hello, have some small talk, then leave. On Tuesdays she would have tea with some of the mushroom people. And on Thursdays, read to the baby JHj'Hanfog. She had a set schedule that she didn’t mind, she quite enjoyed the mushroom people gossip, but it wasn’t fulfilling enough for her.

Her mother always said she was one for adventure and danger. Always out and about breaking bones and messing with the wrong group of knights. She basically craved the adrenaline of danger and high tension. Time obviously gave her more self-control and calmed her down but even so, parts of someone never die that easily. Which leads us to our current situation.

After saying goodbye to the emptiness inside, she left the house with pep in her step and a blank stare. Walking down the same dirt path she looked down, then at the sky. The early morning gold slowly transforms into the blinding light of day. She took her usual route, down the river, find the bridge and cross, forward until you pass the mushroom peoples village. It wasn’t Tuesday so she waved and left. ‘Today is looking like a good day for me’ she told herself before completely spacing out.

Continuing on she realized that she was lost. Confusion filled her brain as she frantically looked around. She said, “HOW AM I LOST I BASICALLY GREW UP HERE??????” None of the trees look familiar and she had no recollection of her previous turns. ‘I take back my thoughts...’ she thought, annoyance quickly rising to her face. She had no way of getting back. No magic tools, no signs from the forest, and no random creature to help. Ida sighed; her mind still boggled on how she got lost. She obviously didn’t know every nook and cranny of the forest but still. Getting this utterly lost? ‘Must’ve been the work of Sir Thomas’ ghost I say!’ she dramatically thought, a small giggle coming out.

Without anything else to do, she continued to wander. Seeing the trees around her pass by. Small rays of sunlight peeked through the trees as she walked. The deeper in she got the darker it became. At first, she didn’t notice it, but sooner or later it seemed like it was evening. Becoming kinda spooked, she tried to search for a speck of light. Any would do. For what seemed like hours Ida ran around lost. Every direction turning into one. No matter where she looked, she only found the darkness growing.

‘I just had to not learn fire magic...’ She thought, rolling her eyes. Ida was about to give up, and just try again later. “Sleeping in a tree doesn’t seem too bad.” She said, too quiet for anyone to hear aside from her. Then from the corner of her eye, “LIGHT!” She excitedly jumped up and down and immediately dashed towards the source. Twisting and turning throughout the trees, the wind making her eyes tear up. A small sliver of hope gleaming in her mind. Footprints running deep in the mud as a smile formed. The blue gleam became closer and closer and then, falling.

Ida was falling. A pretty deep distance might I add. Ida didn’t even realize she was falling until she was halfway between the air and the floor. She was too scared to even scream, her face frozen in fear. She quickly accepted the fact that she was probably going to die, as sad as it is. Her face trying their best to close her eyes shut as her body awaited the incoming crunch of her spine. But... it never came.

The radish haired girl was super confused, opening her eyes again to the sight of the pitch black in the forest; except this time she was surrounded by the lush blue light she was chasing. “Oh god am I dead? Is this how I die? Curse you Sir Thomas!” She remarked, putting a weak fist in the air at the end. Kinda like an old man saying, ‘dagnabbit you little scoundrels!’ to the youngin’s passing by. Ida decided to close her eyes as a final act of closure to her supposed death. Her head moved with her eyes, her hood falling off in the act. Her hair falling out with it having one of her side braids fall on her nose.

“Umm, miss? Are you gonna thank me for saving your life or what?” A masculine voice appearing out of seemingly nowhere. The girl’s eyes shot open as she frantically looked around, pulling her hood up with it. “Right here ma’am.” The same voice spoke.

Her vision finally clearing she was met face to face with a transparent boy holding her in his arms. They stared at each other for a good 5 seconds before Ida screamed and fell out of said arms. The pain she awaited from the top of the cliff finally came but not as spine crunching as expected. A stifled laugh soon erupted from the boy, wheezing and coughing filling the dead empty silence of the cliff- ravine thing they were in. Sitting up she frowned at him, obviously not liking the fact he laughed at her pain. While starring, she noticed 3 major things about him.

One was that he was very much see through, him and his entire body was see through. His clothes, his face, his everything! Then, the uniform he wore was one a top general would wear, at least that’s what Ida thinks it is. She’s a country bumpkin so she doesn’t know much about the city. The jacket was black with gold and red accents. He rocked lots of leather straps and a cape around his body. Honestly, some of the straps just seemed to be there to look cool. He had many pins and ribbons of honor on the left of his chest, despite the dark atmosphere they seemed to shine very bright. Along the side of his sleeve were 5 embroidered gold stars, therefore proving he was someone super duper important.

And lastly, his eyes... or at least what was supposed to be his eyes. All that was there were hollow sockets. But they weren’t as bad or scary as one might think. Despite the lack of emotion in his eye holes they seemed friendly enough. If it weren’t for their current situation Ida would’ve thought that he was pretty handsome... for a ghost of course. The more she starred, the more her frown turned into fascination. The ghost noticed this and smirked.

“Awe, you think I’m pretty right?” he said with the same teasing tone, floating towards her in one swift motion. Ida simply rolled her eyes and said, “First off no, and secondly, where am I?” The ghost boy faked his shock and slowly floated down as if he was falling, hand on his heart like he was having heart burn. “Oh random girl I just met! How dare you break-eth my heart with such cruelty?” He shouted in an overly dramatic fashion, maybe even more dramatic than Ida…

“Oh my god you’re worse than me- Is this how my mom feels? I kinda feel bad now.” Ida remarked, only half joking. The ghost boy quickly floated back up and chuckled, holding a hand out to Ida as she was still on the floor. She reluctantly took his gloved hand and patted the dirt off her. In the silence Ida came to a realization. If he’s a ghost, how in god's name did he catch her, hold her, and help her back up? He’s a ghost you shouldn’t be able to do that! Suspicion rose, Ida’s eyes narrowed at his nonexistent ones.

“...what?” he sighed. “Oh gosh, look I know I’m like the most gorgeous person you’ve ever met but you don’t have stare~” he fake whined. Ida shook her head, clearly annoyed by this man’s actions.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re a ghost, right?

“Hmmm, let’s see, transparency, floating and weird hollowed eyes... no I don’t think I am.”

She groaned at his sarcasm, only earning a smirk on his end. Hand on her eyes, Ida continued saying, “Look, if you’re well... a ghost, then how can you touch me?”

“That’s a secret toots.” He winked at her.

“Why?”

“Because I’m cool now, you want to know where you are right?”

Ida remembered her initial question and nodded. Now that she thought about it, she was in this weird reveen thing with glowing blue things around her. They looked like flowers, but she’s never seen them before. ‘A new species maybe?’. The sky was still a void and the floor was rocky. Not like sharp rocky but the smooth stones you can step on. The ghost then started walking- er- floating? It was really confusing; the bottom of his legs would sometimes blend with the light of the flowers so you couldn’t really tell. Ida followed behind as if it were a house tour. Then it turned into a house tour.

“Welcome to my humble abode! Where the weird glowing flowers are plenty and rocks are, uh, also plenty!” He said in his best salesman voice he could muster. Putting his arms out to present the beauty of this dark dark rocky hole. “IF you take a look to your left, you’ll see a big rock! If this were in the city, I would be super rich cause I can make profit off of people taking pictures with a rock!”

“Wait, people pay to take pictures with rocks!?” Shock filled Ida’s voice.

“Only if they’re super big!”

“That’s stupid...”

“I know!” He said in an overly jolly voice.

Continuing on, he explained that they were in a deeper section of the forest. One that she’s never ventured in, or well many have. And when they did, they usually never came back the same. Ida would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a tad spooked but she put on a brave face as to not fuel this guys need to tease her. She could already tell this guy’s personality. He was a cocky bastard that she hoped was lovable because who knows how long they’ll have to be together.

He also told her about a way out, a staircase to go up back to the surface. Which was awfully convenient but who cares? Curiosity struck Ida, just who exactly was this guy? And why was he helping? She went to tap his shoulder but tripped in attempting to do so. “Pfffffft, are you okay?” turning around to check on her. “I- I’m fine, I forgot you were a ghost for a second.”

The sentence made him smile a bit before, turning back around. Leading her to the supposed stairs. They walked together in surprisingly comfortable silence. Ida was scared that it would be too awkward for her to handle so she was glad about this. The tall ghost then put his hands on the back of his head and turned a bit to look at Ida.

“Oh, by the way, what’s your name?” He asked in a very nonchalant tone. Ida’s eyes widen a bit at the realization of the fact they haven’t properly introduced themselves yet. “Oh right, my name’s Ida...yours?” putting her hand out.

“My names Kia...”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since that day in the reveen Ida regularly went out to see her new and, I guess, first friend. She would venture out into the dark parts of the forest she used to be scared to even go near to meet up with him. Together they would wander with each other and just chill. Every new day, a new adventure. Ida would actually leave earlier to see him. She would even take him to her weekly mushroom kingdom gossip.

“Can you BELIEVE that Mushy actually said that to her husband!?” Ida yelled to Kia as she hopped on rocks; trying her best not to get water on her socks. Kia, simply floating ahead yelled back “I KNOW RIGHT? You’d think after 10 years they’d be past this...” he sighed. Ida shook her head “Gosh I hope she wasn’t being serious about that... we might have to get interrogated by the MPD!” she giggled.

“OH GOD I HOPE NOT- I will not be able to take it seriously. Imagine the officer is like “DID YOU KILL HIM!?” then you look up, it’s a mushroom.” He laughed

“KIA STOP- I- *wheeze* I’M TRYING NOT TO FALL YOU DUMBASS!” She basically screeched. The laughter that erupted from them was probably enough to fill the entire forest. This continued for some time. Their cheeks and jaws hurt from smiling, continuously adding to each other’s jokes. Once Ida finally made it to the other side, she sat down on rock to catch her breath. Kia started ranting about the MPD and Ida simply listened. Finally calming down she stood up.

“I was actually almost arrested by the MPD... Not that I did anything I was just framed is all. Yeah, the officer would not let me go even though I was completely innocent!” He whined. Ida simply hummed a response and started following him again.

“He started to threaten me too! He said he was gonna ‘make sure I got the punishment I deserve’ or, something along those lines. Then I told him I could cook his entire family and he let me go.” Kia said as if it was nothing. Ida only looked at him with a shocked smile, stopping right in her tracks. He looked back confused, his face only saying ‘what?’ as if he didn’t just admit he threatened the life of an MPD officer. I mean like sure they are just mushrooms but still.

A blanket of silence fell on them again. It was the same comforting silence from the first time they met. It was all familiar. Ida walked behind Kia in silence in a dark area with only small specks of light to guide them. The only difference now is that they both know they have problems and have to take their medicine sooner or later.

Ida never noticed this, but Kia had a soft glow around him. It was almost majestic with all the sparkling particles as well. Finally deciding to break the silence, Ida spoke in a quieter voice.

“So Kia, mind telling me where we’re going?”

“Hm? Oh, we’re just going to a spot I like to hang out in. Also what’s in your basket? You’ve been making me hold the entire time.”

Ida forgot about this basket. She scrambled to take it back from him, but he floated higher. It didn't help that he was tall as well, I mean yeah was on the shorter end of the stick, but she can at least reach the tops of cabinets. Quickly admitting her defeat, she said, "Fine, there's cake it there... I just didn't want it going stale okay??"

From the time they spent together she had learnt 2 things. One, Kia has no memory of his past life. And 2, the only thing he remembers is liking cake. Not being sure if he can even eat it as he was a ghost made him sad. He hasn’t had ever since he died, but the few precious memories of it made him wonder why it brought him such joy. Ida felt guilty for bringing it, but she didn’t want it to get stale and dry as she stated earlier.

Kia’s form floated down like a feather and slumped on a rock. Ida decided to sit next and try to comfort him. Ida’s knees went past his own legs as if he weren’t even there. She told him a quiet sorry and went to hold his shoulder. Her hand stayed there.

“Hey if I stab the cake do you think you can eat it…?”

“....Fuck you Ida.” Kia said with a small smile.

“I mean can you even f u c k things? Like a ghost ween or whatever?”

“Would you like to find out?” He said, obviously as a joke. He wore that same fuckboy smirk that he always did.

“Shut up you have no eyes fucking loser.”

A fake gasp escaped his lips. He put his gloved hand to his mouth. He tried his best to look like he was about to cry but motherfucker couldn’t stop smiling.

“Ida! You whore! I’m gonna fuck your mom.”

“BRUH MY MOM IS PROBABLY DEAD- WAIT AREN’T YOU DEAD? YOU GONNA FUCK MY MOM AS A GHOST??? HOW DOES THIS WORK? UGHHHH”

End.

[daphnewritings]

Chapter 5: The Remembrall

Summary: The Malfoy owl is named after another star because why not

Warnings: Broom violence

Word Count: 2.8k

- Chapter 4 / Chapter 6 - 

A few weeks into the term, Draco had already settled into a routine. Mornings were reserved for waving around the various treats and gifts his mother would send him every other day by owl post, or bemoaning the state of the previous night’s homework with his friends over toast and mugs of tea. Now, Draco didn’t really need to do this. He was a quick study in nearly all of his classes. In fact, McGonagall had even started giving him extra work to do since he was moving so fast through the curriculum. Snape had also pulled him aside after class the Friday before to congratulate him on another successful potion.

He liked the extra attention, especially since Potter wasn’t also receiving it.

After dinner, he usually found a spot on the upper floor of the Slytherin common room to either work on his homework or find a good book to curl up with in one of the many cushy reading chairs dispersed around the dark stacks. He was slowly discovering how to get the shelves to give him the books he wanted without having to go looking for them. All he had to do was ask nicely and maybe straighten up some spare potion supplies that another student had made a mess of. But on Tuesday, after a particularly nasty day in Herbology and Charms, Draco was in no mood to do either of those two things. He was pulled up short and out of his bad mood by a notice pinned to the board besides the door. Their first flying lesson was on Thursday.

And it was with the Gryffindors.

So, on Thursday morning, Draco was the first out of bed and the first person to be completely washed up and ready while the other boys were still scrubbing their hands across their eyes to banish the lingering sleep. He told himself that it was just because he was hungry for breakfast. Really hungry.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, all the boys were ready and headed for the door. Draco stopped for one last glance in the mirror to make sure not a single hair was out of place and he saw Blaise in the reflection behind him, shaking his head.

“Christ, Draco, even when you’re the first up, you’re still the last to leave,” Blaise said as he strolled past him.

“Well, Blaise, if you had my hair, or any hair at all for that matter, you would also find yourself spending time making sure it looked perfect before you walked out the door.” Draco heard the door slam in response and chuckled. Deeming his hair flawless, he followed Blaise out the door and took the stairs two at a time, catching up to the boys easily.

They were halfway through breakfast when the owl post arrived, a small package dropping into Draco’s lap from the beak of the Malfoy family owl, Pollux. His lamp-like eyes missed nothing as he started picking through what was left on the muffin plate. Clicking his beak in disappointment at the dismal options, he cocked his head at Draco expectantly.

Sighing resignedly, Draco held out the last quarter of his own muffin in payment. The bird snatched it out of his hands. Puffing his black feathers, the owl took off, leaving Draco to unwrap the newest sweet box from his mother.

He allowed the box of caramels to be passed around to his friends while he craned his neck to see if Potter had received anything today. He smiled smugly to himself when he didn’t even see a letter clutched in Potter’s hands. However, he did notice that Longbottom was currently shredding open a wrapped box.

Nudging both Crabbe and Goyle, Draco nodded in the direction of the Gryffindor table as he stood up and started meandering across the room, his hands shoved in his pockets. He was surely the picture of nonchalance.

Draco heard Longbottom cry, “It’s a Remembrall!” He raised his eyebrows at his two accomplices and quickly snatched the small glass orb from Longbottom’s hands where he’d been avidly staring at the smoke within turn red. Both Potter and the Weasel spun around and glared at him, but Draco only had eyes for the clear aggravation that had reduced Potter’s eyes to slits. Oh, how he enjoyed that look. It usually meant that Potter was about to lose his shit over nothing. Eventually Draco knew he would probably be able to work Potter up to a point where that look would appear on his face whenever Draco simply entered a room.

“What is going on here?” the distinct voice of McGonagall said from behind Draco.

Draco dropped the Remembrall back into Longbottom’s outstretched palm as he turned around with a sheepish look on his face, “We were just looking, professor.” She arched a brow at him, clearly not buying the act, but released them from her piercing gaze as she continued walking up the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor tables. Turning back around, Draco smirked at the three Gryffindor boys and proceeded to follow her out of the Great Hall. He could feel at least one withering look burning a hole between his shoulder blades and he smiled happily.

>< 

Since the Slytherin’s didn’t have any classes until later that afternoon after the flying lesson, they all gathered at the edge of the Black Lake. They skipped rocks around the giant squid, who popped its tentacles above the surface every now and then until noon rolled around and it was time to meet the Gryffindors for their shared lesson.

Draco led the group back up the hill to where twenty brooms awaited them amidst the cropped grass of the back lawn. From here, Draco could see the Quidditch pitch in the distance, the house colors bright and bold against the blue sky. He could also see the towering trees of the Forbidden Forest standing dark and ominous in the distance, a small shack sat before them, smoke puffing in a defiantly cheery way from its chimney.

Choosing a broom at random, Draco nudged the sad looking thing with his toe. Several of the twigs in its tail were sticking out at odd angles and there were numerous nicks in the poor thing’s handle from which he would surely be pulling slivers out of his skin afterwards.

Kneeling down to try to fix the twigs at least, he heard a gruff female voice pointedly say, “Do not touch the brooms until I tell you, class.”

Draco looked up to see a woman with yellow eyes looking down on him, her short gray hair spiked like a porcupine. He heard a few giggles in the group as he stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. She swept by him, and he saw that Potter had taken up besides the broom that was directly across from him. Potter’s smirk made his insides wriggle with annoyance.

“Good afternoon class,” Madam Hooch said as she swirled to a stop at the left end of their little lines. “Welcome to your first flying lesson.” She stared appraisingly around at the lot of them. “Now step up to the left side of your broomstick. Come now, hurry up, we don’t have all day,” she said as a few students, Longbottom included, dragged their feet.

“Stick your right hand over the broomstick and say UP!” She directed the command at her own pristine broom and it immediately flew into her hand.

Draco’s school broom jumped into his hand at the same time as Potter’s and Draco scowled. Potter was staring down at the broom with a look of awe on his face that Draco remembered feeling the first time he’d ridden a broomstick when he was young. Draco’s scowl deepened as he rubbed the sudden feeling of warmth away in his chest.

The class was still chorusing around them, some calls of “Up!” sounding more frenzied than others. Granger’s broom continued to roll around in front of her, refusing to acknowledge her commands. “With feeling!” Madam Hooch called from the front.

The Weasel, who was standing across from Theo on Potter’s right, yelled, “UP!” a little too insistently, which resulted in his broomstick thwacking him in the face in response. Both Draco and Harry laughed in surprise, but quickly stopped when they realized that they were both laughing at the same thing.

Once the class had, more or less, successfully called the brooms to their hands, Madam Hooch said, “Now that you’ve all got ahold of your broom, the next step is to mount it. I want you to grip it tight. You don’t want to go sliding off the end.” Once they had all hiked their legs over their brooms, Hooch continued, “Now when I blow my whistle, I want you to push up from the ground, hard. Keep your brooms steady, rise a foot or so into the air, and then lean forward slightly to come back down. Ready?” She looked at each one of them for a nod before she pressed the whistle to her lips. “Three, two, one!”

Except Longbottom kicked off a little too hard. Not wanting to be the last person on the ground, he’d practically leapt into the air and was now rising uncontrollably. “Lean forward!” Madam Hooch yelled at him, but to no avail. Neville was panicking and his broom could sense it, and nothing Madam Hooch yelled would be able to get through to him.

Neville took off like a bullet, zooming across the grounds and back towards the castle, his broom flinging him around with abandon, rolling him into a spin as it crashed once, twice into the thick stone of the walls. Draco marveled at how Longbottom had somehow been able to stay on the broom as it curved back around and zoomed towards the class, forcing them to leap out of the way as Madam Hooch sent a wordless spell at him, attempting to force the broom to a standstill.

In retribution, the broom pointed nose up and shot into the sky like a rocket. Neville, finally losing his grip on the handle, slid off the end and fell to the ground. Draco winced at the resounding CRACK as the boy hit the ground. Madam Hooch pushed some students out of the way as she raced to Longbottom’s side, her face now as white as his.

“It’s all right,” she cooed, helping him to his feet, “It’s only a broken wrist. Madam Pomfrey will fix you up in no time.” Madam Hooch turned narrowed, hawk-like eyes on the rest of the group and said tersely, “You are all to keep your feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. If I see a single broom in the air when I get back, the one riding it will be out of Hogwarts faster than they can say ‘Quidditch.���”

With her arm around Neville, Madam Hooch led his hobbling form back towards the castle, his sniffles the only sound among the otherwise silent class. Draco was momentarily distracted from the debacle by something that sparkled in the sunlight at his feet. Bending down, he smiled as he snatched up his new prize. Tossing the Remembrall up into the air, Draco pointedly turned his back on the Gryffindors.

“Did you see his face, the blithering idiot?” Draco asked once Hooch was out of earshot. “Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze,” he said, holding the small glass orb up, “he would’ve remembered not to fall on his fat ass.”

The responding raucous Slytherin laughter made him smile because he knew what would come next. And sure enough, Potter couldn’t resist.

“Give it here Malfoy.”

Turning around, Draco cocked his head to the side, “Sorry, did you say something, Potter?”

“I said give it here,” Potter said, stepping up to him so they were toe to toe. Draco was pleased to find that he was taller than Potter by a significant amount.

“Actually, I don’t think I will give it here, Potter. I think,” he said, tossing the Remembrall into the air once more, “that I’ll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find.” Stepping backwards, Draco mounted his broom and smoothly took off, cutting through the crowd of students. “How about a little room?” he asked snidely, before rising into the open air above their heads.

“What’s the matter, Potter? A little beyond your reach?” he tossed the orb into the air again and pretended to drop it to the gasps and laughter of the students below.

Smirking down at Potter, Draco saw his mouth set in a grim line as he threw his leg over his own broomstick and went to kick off from the ground. A hand shot out suddenly, stopping him in his tracks and Draco rolled his eyes as Granger squawked, “Harry, stop! You heard what Madam Hooch said!” But to Draco’s everlasting delight, he shook off her hand and pushed off from the ground.

Potter rose to float just beyond Draco’s reach, glaring at him. “Hand it over, Malfoy, or I’ll knock you off your broom,” he spat.

“Is that so?” Draco asked, utterly unruffled by his threat. He tossed the Remembrall higher this time, almost letting it slip beyond his reach. Grinning impishly, he met Potter’s eyes again, “Well, what are you waiting for? Come get it.”

That was the last straw.

Potter surged towards him and Draco deftly rolled to the left, just narrowly missing fulfilling Potter’s threat. Right side up once more, he looked over his shoulder and laughed, waving the glass ball around above his head, “If that’s all you can do Potter, then I fear Longbottom will never be getting this back.”

Turning his broom to face him, Draco tossed the ball into the air in an arc over his head, catching it in his left hand tauntingly. “Come now, Potter, surely you can-” Draco was unable to finish his sentence because he once again had to roll out of the way as Potter shot towards him a second time, and then a third after he made a quick about-face.

Panting a bit now, Draco was starting to get slightly worried that he might actually knock his ass off the broom. Some of the students below were starting to cheer Potter on even, and Draco knew a losing fight when he saw one.

And he certainly wasn’t the one who was winning.

“No Crabbe and Goyle up here to save your neck, Malfoy!” Potter called triumphantly.

Well, he had a point.

Cocking his arm back, Draco yelled a bit breathlessly, “Catch it if you can then!” and threw the Remembrall as hard as he could. He didn’t even stick around to watch it arc across the field towards the castle wall as he shot for the ground.

“You definitely almost had him, Draco,” Theo said as Crabbe and Goyle both slapped him on the back. Shaking them off, he looked up just in time to see Potter catch the glass ball right before it shattered against stone and do a neat little twirl to stop himself from also splattering against the wall along with it. Draco’s mouth fell open as the Gryffindors cheered.

Draco snapped his mouth shut as Potter landed in front of him, the glass ball shimmering in his hand. His smile was broad with his success as he tossed the ball up into the air. However, his triumph was short lived as an all too familiar voice yelled across the lawn, “Harry Potter!”

Turning to see Professor McGonagall striding across the grass, Draco’s smirk returned in full force. She was almost to their little group when Draco leaned forward and whispered to the shorter boy, “Good luck getting out of this one, Potter.” Then he stepped back and tried his best to blend into the crowd.

“Come with me, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall said when she finally reached them.

Then the Gryffindors all started talking at once.

“But, Professor, it wasn’t his fault-”

“Malfoy-”

“That’s enough,” McGonagall said with finality, waving Potter forward to follow her back into the castle, “That’s the end of your lesson for today, students. Please go back to your common rooms immediately.” Draco met Potter’s eyes from across the field and wiggled his fingers at him in a mocking wave as he trailed after McGonagall.

Meanwhile, the rest of the students were dropping their brooms back into place in their original line and Draco hurried to follow suit. He ignored the look of loathing the Weasel was sending his way and joined the group of Slytherins walking leisurely back towards the castle.

“Well Draco, I assume you’d call that a rousing success of a lesson,” Pansy said.

Draco thought for a moment as the group entered the covered bridge, “You know Pans, I’d say you’re right.”

< Chapter 4 / Chapter 6 >

[kinghinatatobio]

Forty-Four

Either today/tomorrow (depending on where you live) is Tsukishima’s brithday so I wrote a thing!! enjoy birthday fluff

Read on AO3

Tuesdays suck. 

Honestly, they’re just hidden Mondays that you can’t complain about because they aren’t Mondays. It’s too early in the week for you to look forward to time off, it’s yet another day of monotony where you wake up having had school the day before, go through another day, and then go to bed expecting the same thing to happen tomorrow, and the next day, and...

So you’d think having a birthday on a Tuesday would be a happy happenstance. Break out of the monotony! Then the entire week is different! But for Kei, when the amount of people who actually care outside of you family adds up to maybe 2.5 (Suga is the .5 because he cares about everyone), the change is basically non-existent. 

In middle school, the number had been a solid one, so at least he’s improving. 

Yamaguchi was late, as he always was on Kei’s birthday, planning something or other, so it’s Yachi, who makes up the other one person that cares, who greeted him with a nervous yet genuine smile and a bag of chocolates attached to a birthday card.

“H-Happy birthday, Tsukishima-kun!” she declared, maybe a little loudly, causing Kei to wince. She immediately apologized, as expected.

“Thank you,” Kei said and gave her a smile, because he does genuinely appreciate it. He doesn’t need praise or gifts, he’s not that kind of person, he’d be fine with celebrating on his own. But it’s nice of her to do something more than just say well-wishes. 

“Is Yamaguchi-kun not with you?”

Kei waved a hand in the air. “He’s always late on my birthday.”

“Oh!” Yachi squeaked, allowing Kei to pass by her and put his shoes into the cubbies outside the gym before stepping in, the young manager following suit. 

He’s not the first one in the gym, never is with Hinata and Kageyama around, but he’s not even close to the last. He silently cursed himself in his head, wondering if he’d walked just a bit faster today in anticipation.

Anticipation? Of what? 

Yamaguchi stumbled in three minutes before seven, slightly out of breath, but a usual happy grin on his face. He bounded over to Kei as soon as he spotted him. “Forty-four days,” is the first thing he says. “Then I’ll be all caught up again.”

Kei pushed his glasses up his nose. “Statistically impossible. I will always be forty-four days ahead of you.”

“Hmm, true,” Yamaguchi responded, rocking on his heels. “But it never feels like it except for this month and a half.”

“Stupid Yamaguchi, it doesn’t really mean anything, we’re in the same grade.”

Yamaguchi grinned. His arms were swinging at his sides, and one brushed against Kei’s hand. But the touch was purposeful this time, as Yamaguchi curled his fingers around Kei’s wrist, getting him to lock eyes. “Still. Happy birthday, Tsukki.”

Kei pursed his lips. Yamaguchi’s touch made his entire arm tingle, but he had no intentions of pulling away. He hummed his thanks, not trusting his mouth to not say something else stupid if he were to vocally assent. Yamaguchi’s fingers lingered for a few seconds as his eyes traveled down Kei’s face to land on his lips, before both the gaze and the touch left Kei entirely. If felt like an exhale, but one taken underwater--holding your breath would have been much better. 

“But you better watch out, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said teasingly, forcing Kei to snap his gaze up from the floor over towards the other boy who was beginning arm stretches. “I’m gonna use these forty-four days to be a better sixteen year old than you when my turn comes.” 

Kei smirked and raised an eyebrow, amused. “And how exactly will you do that?”

Yamaguchi’s face was red all of a sudden, and Kei wondered what he was hiding, or if the bravado in his voice had all been a random surge of confidence. He knew that happened to Yamaguchi, sometimes, more often now than ever. 

“I--You’ll j-just have to see,” Yamaguchi stuttered out, casting his eyes away. “Af-after practice,” he added, voice so quiet Kei wondered if he was even supposed to hear that. 

“I’ll look forward to it, then,” Kei said, passing by Yamaguchi as Suga and Daichi waved him over. Kei purposefully dragged a hand over Yamaguchi’s shoulder, squeezing it once. He ignored the shiver he felt under the skin. Not yet. 

Practice was usual, like any other Tuesday. Yet, there was a buzzing under his skin, an awareness of a single voice that felt stronger for some reason. But morning practice always went fast, and then it was time to clean up and get ready for class. Kei changed quickly and Yamaguchi didn’t, as usual. He ignored the shiny wrapping peeking out of Yamaguchi’s bag. Kei usually received presents at lunch time, unless Yamaguchi was staying over at his house for dinner. 

Kei blinked, shoving his bag further up his shoulder. Now that he thought about it, why wasn’t Yamaguchi coming over? He usually invited himself, not that Kei ever turned him down. But not this year, deviating from his usual pattern of the last three. 

Kei wondered what changed. 

Class was boring, as usual, but Kei jotted down notes as he saw important. That buzzing was still beneath his skin, and he quietly tapped his feet under his desk to the beat of the hanging wall clock. Yamaguchi, a few seats ahead of him, looked to be similarly fidgety. Kei wondered if they were feeling something similar. 

They changed classrooms, once, but even that didn’t erase the warmth he felt. His stomach growled softly, and Kei longed for lunch. He caught Yamaguchi’s eyes, once, and the boy had smiled at him and rolled his eyes in response to something their teacher said, and Kei had smirked back. He felt a little more settled, after that. He knew he could wait until lunch.

“Let’s eat outside today, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi posed the suggestion, eyes on his school bag. The rest of the class was buzzing with conversation and the squeak of desks and chairs as they were configured to create larger surfaces to eat on. 

Kei shrugged and nodded. “Sure,” he added a beat later, because Yamaguchi had yet to look at him. 

Kei followed Yamaguchi outside towards a cluster of trees that were pretty popular around lunch time, but were surprisingly empty. Yamaguchi had approached him as soon as the lunch bell rang, however, so maybe that was why. 

Kei unwrapped his bento, but didn’t start eating, had tilted in Yamaguchi’s direction, waiting. Yamaguchi was being deliberately slow, unwrapping his bento and gently taking out his chopsticks and balancing them over the food before reaching into his bag and pulling out the shining wrapped gift and setting it in between them. Seeing the gift reminded Kei. 

“Why aren’t you coming over today?” he asked, startling Yamaguchi. The boy’s leg spazmed, and he nearly knocked over his lunch. 

“Oh, oops!” Yamaguchi sprang up and righted his lunch, making sure none of the food had been dislodged. “Um, I mean, I can, Tsukki! I just...”

Kei raised an eyebrow. Yamaguchi still wasn’t looking at him. He must have used up all of his eye-contact time this morning or something with how low his confidence seemed. 

“I’ll come over if you still want me to,” Yamaguchi eventually said. Kei had almost given up on receiving an actual answer and had started eating, his stomach too empty for him to wait much longer. 

Kei swallowed the bite in his mouth and lowered his chopsticks. “Yamaguchi, I know I don’t... say it as often--” Yamaguchi finally met his eyes, and he looked very confused as to where this was going, --“but I enjoy it, when we hang out. And I also...like you joining me. On my birthday.” Kei chose his words carefully.

Yamaguchi’s eyes blew wide open and he almost hit his lunch again with his knee as he threw his arms up and waved them about, muttering, “No, no, no. I. I know, Tsukki. I can tell, you don’t have to say it, I’ve know you long enough to read you. So you don’t have to worry about me thinking you don’t...well, you know.”

Kei gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Okay.”

Yamaguchi released a breath and finally dug into his lunch. “Good, okay,” he murmured to himself.

Yamaguchi didn’t put the present away, however. 

“So if that wasn’t it,” Kei started, then paused. “I mean, you usually don’t ask. Which is fine,” he assured. 

Yamaguchi tongued at his chopsticks, the bite from them long gone. “Things might be different this year, so I wanted it to be your decision.”

What would be--? Kei stared at Yamaguchi. It seemed his was bouncing in and out of confusion. He wished he’d just be given a straight answer, but he knew that wasn’t how Yamaguchi worked. 

A minute of silence passed between them. Yamaguchi seemed to be thinking hard about something, so Kei left him to it, even though the confusion was starting to irritate him. If Yamaguchi could just spit it out already--

“Tsukki I have something to tell you!” Yamaguchi suddenly shouted, head turned up to the sky, voice echoing around them. The leaves in the tree above them swayed in the wind, almost as if they’d been rustled by the words. 

Kei slowly raised a single eyebrow and shifted so that his whole body was turned towards Yamaguchi. He waited, as patiently as he could, and watched as Yamaguchi lowered his head and tucked his chin in, staring at his knees. His eyelids fluttered shut as he took in a deep breath, and they opened on the exhale.

Suddenly. determined eyes were on him, and Kei flinched back slightly in shock. 

“I like you.”

Kei’s heart skipped a beat. Heat suddenly rushed his cheeks and he brought a hand up to smother the lower half of his face. He didn’t know what kind of face he was making, but it was probably some stupid grin that would scare Yamaguchi. So he smothered it. 

“You’re so cool, Yamaguchi,” Kei breathed, staring into Yamaguchi’s eyes that were desperately trying to hang on to his. 

Yamaguchi’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I’m really, really trying to be,” he admitted. His hands were clenched into fists on his knees. “Is that...okay?” Apprehension began to seep into his body visibly. 

Kei nodded slowly, lowering his hand from his face. He knew his cheeks were still warm, but at least he’d gotten back control over his mouth. “You were worried I would be upset,” he stated, not a question.

“I thought of all possibilities. Every scenario,” Yamaguchi admitted. “I wanted to be prepared.”

“And were you?”

Yamaguchi smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He shook his head. “Nope. I don’t think I’ve ever been prepared for you, Tsukki.”

“You’re such a charmer, Yamaguchi,” Kei teased, feeling a little breathless. 

“I’m really not trying to be. I just wanted t-to confess now,” Yamaguchi admitted. His hands were beginning to uncurl from their tense positions. Kei was tempted to reach out and do it himself, but, baby steps. 

Something clicked in Kei’s brain. “So that’s what you meant, by it being different this year. If I had reacted...badly, you obviously wouldn’t have wanted to come over.”

“I just didn’t think you’d want me there if I...weirded you out now,” Yamaguchi corrected, giving Kei a lopsided smile. 

“You have always weirded me out, Yamaguchi,” Kei replied, a smile breaking through without his consent. “That’s why I like you, too.”

Yamaguchi’s entire form crumpled, like the weight of the world was gone. “Oh thank God,” he breathed. “I thought you might, but I didn’t know know, you know? And sometimes you’re hard to read, but other times it’s like reading a book so I thought maybe I’m on the wrong page. But I just had to tell you, Tsukki, it was eating me up inside.” Yamaguchi released a heavy breath. 

Kei reached over and grabbed Yamaguchi’s hand, pulling it away from where he’d been tangling it in his hair. He twined their fingers together loosely and let the hands fall into the grass between them, next to the wrapped gift. “I get it,” he simply said. 

Yamaguchi looked at their hands, a look of wonder on his face, before he giggled, hiding it behind his free hand. “I wasn’t sure I was going to have the courage to do it today since I wimped out right after practice, but I wanted to do it as soon as possible.”

Kei smirked. “Why? Got an expiration date or something?”

Yamaguchi looked up at him from beneath his lashes and fluttered them. “Kinda. My birthday.”

Kei tipped his head to the side, not quite following.

Yamaguchi rubbed his thumb over the back of Kei’s hand in soothing circles, trilling his fingers in a pattern. “I told you, Tsukki, I was going to use these forty-four days to become a better sixteen-year-old than you are. I’ve already done it. I got a boyfriend at fifteen while you didn’t get one until sixteen.”

Kei wanted to wipe that silly, satisfied grin off of Yamaguchi’s face. With his face. Specifically his lips, multiple times. 

But they were outside, at lunch time, other students milling around the campus and walking past every minute. So he’d just have to wait.

Instead, he said, “Oh, so I’m your boyfriend now?”

Yamaguchi’s face pinked, but he decided, “Yes,” very quickly with barely a quiver to his voice. He squeezed their hands and swung them a little to disconnect them, and they both brushed the present laying abandoned as they took their hands back.

“Guess you better save that for Christmas,” Kei decided, wanting to tease Yamaguchi as much as he had been teased. “Can’t get a much better present today anyway.”

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi squealed, and Kei imagined him burying his face in his arms. But he wasn’t looking because he’d turned his head away and up, hoping that the gusts of wind would cool his flaming face. 

I guess, Kei mused, Tuesdays aren’t all that bad. 

[ask-svt-hearteu]

best friend! Seungkwan

anon asked: can i request for some best friend!Seungkwan? (and probs some side best friend!Vernon like idk man i can definitely see them as the type where you can’t be best friends with one and not be best friends with the other lol)

the hardest part of childhood was figuring out school 

while it wasn't learning the alphabet or how to read or basic addition and subtraction that you found difficult 

elementary school was tough lol 

mostly because you wanted to make friends 

but who knew getting friends was tough if you didn't talk to anyone 

your teacher tried getting you to talk to the other kids 

but they low key scared you 

some were always yelling or crying for their mothers or throwing crayons 

so you just shook your head and colored your doodles on paper 

that was until someone's birthday 

"Class, today is Boo Seungkwan's birthday! He brought cake for everyone, line up to get a slice!" 

as usual you remained sitting in your seat in the back table coloring your rainbow in the sky 

until a paper plate with a slice of cake was plopped in front of you 

"It's my birthday, you have to have cake." 

Seungkwan stood in front of you, probably the cutest seven year old to ever grace all of Jeju 

you always thought he was cool (from what you gathered was cool as a seven year old)

because he had lots of friends to play with at recess 

but you still didn't know how to talk to the other kids 

and yet somehow he got you to say a few words 

"No thanks, I don't like cake." 

"What?!?!? Who doesn't like cake?" 

Seungkwan said crinkling his nose 

"I don't." 

and from then on Seungkwan was hooked 

he followed you around during recess despite having friends who wanted to play soccer or kickball 

trying to figure out why you didn't like cake 

yes he was that determined 

you liked sitting on the swings 

and Seungkwan sat next to you asking you every cake flavor he knew 

"Chocolate? Vanilla? Funfetti? How do you not like cake?" 

you laughed, he was so stubborn 

"I like pie better." 

"PIE IS GREAT TOO." 

and that's all it took for a bootiful beautiful friendship to start 

he'd draw a smiley face sun on your drawing of a rainbow 

"How could you not have a sun?" 

he'd ask you to push him on the swings 

"y/n, you have to push me really high up." 

"I'm tinier than you Boo Seungkwan!" 

and who knew that ball of hyper energy lived down the street from you?

you went for a bike ride with your parents 

and there he was following his mom bringing in the groceries 

"Y/n?!?!?" 

"Boo Seungkwan?" 

many afternoons were spent reading picture books together or riding bikes 

even your parents ended up as close friends when one time Seungkwan scraped his knee and your parents helped you put on a bandaid for him and called his parents to tell them what happened 

when middle school came around you both had your own friend groups 

but you always walked home together 

complaining about how heavy your backpacks were and how mean your teachers were 

you both end up trading backpacks and racing each other up the hill to your houses to show the other how light their backpack was compared to yours 

"I won!" 

"No way, my back pack was way heavier, you're cheating!" 

you'd always do homework at Seungkwan's house on Mondays and Tuesdays 

and he'd go to your house for homework Wednesdays and Thursdays 

Fridays you'd both go down to the arcade and get ice cream and play arcade games 

you lived for Seungkwan's mom's pie 

and he loved your mom's home made cake 

and so every lunch whenever he got pie he'd trade you for your cake 

your mom knew you didn't like cake and yet she continued packing it for you 

"Just give it to Seungkwan since you do that anyway." 

Seungkwan liked playfully poking you every time you passed him in the hallways

people thought you two were siblings

"Wait he's not your brother? But you two are always together everywhere? Walking home, walking to school...?" 

and when high school came around 

and his video of him singing got him a shot at PLEDIS 

he ran up to your house ringing the doorbell frantically with happy tears in his eyes 

"Go get 'em Boo Seungkwan. I can see you walking around telling everyone you meet 'I'm from Jeju' already. Make us proud Seungkwan." 

you laughed giving him a supportive hug 

you spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with him while you can 

giving him all the support you can 

"What if I'm not good enough?" 

BOI

"BOO SEUNGKWAN YOUR VOICE IS HEAVENLY AND IM PRETTY SURE I SAW SOME BIRDS FOLLOWING US THE OTHER DAY BECAUSE OF YOUR SINGING GET REAL." 

he just laughed at your outburst 

"You sure?" 

"Seungkwan, I'd eat cake everyday for the rest of my life if it shows you how much I believe in you." 

"You must be serious, you really don't like cake." 

"I do believe in you, Seungkwan, what the hell of course you'll make it and then I expect signed stuff from you so I can sell it on the internet." 

"Yah!!! You should covet my stuff and run my fan sites, y/n!" 

"Cash is better, sorry not sorry." 

and you both laughed together 

"You've grown from the person drawing rainbows in the back of the class long ago." He said smiling at you 

"Guess you taught me how to be my loud self. I only learned from the best." 

and he did it 

he debuted 

you were so proud 

he called you often during his trainee period telling you his worries 

you knew when he was close to crying

but you were there to support him 

and be his number one fan

and you watched his predebut programs 

and thought about the boy from Jeju who insisted you have cake that day so long ago 

and you told him of your high school life 

mostly exams and whatnot 

and you both studied hard together 

after he debuted, it was harder to see him 

your parents shipped you off to some of your family in Seoul 

where you could work part time and go to a university there 

but when you did hang out 

it felt no different than your after school ice cream and arcade days 

you'd wake up in the morning and see 172 messages from him 

pictures of his rehearsals at 2:37am 

and just random thoughts he had and sent to you 

"Hansol made a joke and it was awful." 

you met Hansol too because of Seungkwan 

"Why does Seungkwan always text you during our short breaks?"

"Seungkwan why are you texting me in third person?"

"Oh lmao this is Hansol, I stole Seungkwan's phone and am currently hiding in the bathroom since he won't tell me who he always texts." 

you snorted a little too loudly and ended up getting weird looks from your aunt 

"I'm y/n, Seungkwan's friend from high school. I'm from Jeju." 

"Y/N WHATEVER HANSOL SAID ABOUT ME IT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!" 

you met Hansol the next time you hung out with Seungkwan 

local park by his company with some nice hoops for basketball 

"Ah so you must be y/n." the boy next to Seungkwan said 

"I swear I tried to get rid of him, but he just loves me too much, what can I do?" 

you burst out laughing their friendship is too cute 

y'all end up playing a game two v. one 

Hansol insisting you play on his team to show Seungkwan what's up 

and you all go for ice cream afterwards 

"Hey!" A ping from your phone 

a picture of a smiling Hansol and Seungkwan pop up 

you smile and send them back a picture of you sticking out your tongue

"working hard I see" you say 

"Seungkwan misses you, but I missed you more" 

"What the heck Hansol stop it, who's the best friend here?" 

"Tell Seungkwan you like me better, y/n." 

"YAH! She's my best friend back off!" 

"get a room you two" you send while dying from laughter 

“y/n!!!" they both send you 

your group chat consists of random selfies of Seungkwan 

and funny cat videos from Hansol 

and a lot of you being in the middle of their arguments 

"green tea chocolate is the best" 

"you can't beat classical milk chocolate" 

"why not both you two?" 

"I'm offended." 

"Who are you?" 

"What do you mean both?!?!?" 

lit groups chats 

but you three are such troublemakers

so they be pming you like shady mofos 

"let's prank Hansol, y/n." "Let's prank Seungkwan" 

separate messages you received within five minutes of each other 

so naturally you play them both 

and they both end up getting soaked by water balloons 

while you stayed a safe distance away keeled over dying of laughter

"WAIT YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS"

"Why didn't you warn me, I've know you for years!" 

you run away as the two of them chase you with water balloons 

in the end all three of you get soaked 

"so anyone up for some cake?" 

"You know I hate cake let's get pie" 

"I vote ice cream" 

ice cream it is then

MASTERLIST