#this is probably the weirdest thing I’ve written

[gaeforwom3n]

A Caring Friend

Pair: Tara Carpenter x girldick!reader

Warning: smut, the use of y/n, bad writing, fingering, dom!reader, sub!tara, this is probably the weirdest thing I’ve written (I’m sorry)

A/n: Has math ever made you cry in frustration?

Word count: 6.4k or more..

Tara comes over to your house on a lazy Sunday morning to hang out in your room.

Hey y/n, if our lives were a movie, what genre do you think it would be?

Oh, Tara, definitely a buddy comedy. With our antics, we'd give "Dumb and Dumber" a run for its money. Y/n said.

Tara laughs I can see it now – "Tara and y/n The Misadventures of Two Goofballs."

As the laughter dies down Tara looks up to you and opens up to you about a problem she have been dealing with

Look, Tara, Need to talk to you about something... Its kinda personal so hear me out okay? She looks at you with her head slightly tilted.

"Sure, what's on your mind, buddy?"

"Well, I've always had issues down there."

Tara blushes and looks down shyly

"It's just that no matter what I do, it never seems to loosen up much and it really hurts whenever a guy tries to you know...fit. I was wondering if you had any advice on how I can finally get over this problem? You're my best friend, I trust you..."

Tara looks at you hopefully, her brown eyes pleading for help

I blink hard "Wait... your... vagina is too tight?"

Tara blushes even harder and nods slowly "Yeah...I know it's weird to talk about this with you but you're the only one I feel comfortable opening up to about it."

She fidgets with her hands in her lap nervously

"It's really been affecting my confidence being with guys...I was hoping maybe you know some exercises or something that could help? I'm tired of having to make excuses every time, I just want to enjoy myself for once without being in pain."

Tara looks up at you with sad, hopeful eyes. "Please y/n, anything you can suggest would help. You're the only one who can help me with this..."

How tight are we talking? Like, what have you tried to... insert into it?

Tara looks away shyly. "Well, I've tried using my fingers and some small toys but even those are really hard to get in there...it's like my walls just clamp down on them."

She takes a deep breath before continuing

"And when guys have tried putting their penis inside me, it feels like they're splitting me open. The pain is so intense that I usually can't last more than a minute or two before having to stop."

She sighs heavily

"It sucks because I want to be able to enjoy sex without feeling like something is ripping me apart every time. That's why I'm hoping you might know of some way for me loosen up down there..."

Tara looks at you with pleading eyes, silently begging for your help

Y/n coughs "Umm, this may be awkward but like... can I see?"

Tara swallows hard, her eyes wide with surprise "Uh...you want to see my vagina?"

She looks at you nervously, clearly unsure about this request.

"I mean...if it could help then I guess so? But are you sure that's necessary?"

Tara bites her lip anxiously as she waits for your response.

"Nevermind, I was just... I dunno, maybe just to get an idea of what we're talking about but, nevermind. Umm I'm sure we can figure out some kind of idea here."

Tara relieved sigh "Thanks y/n, I know it's a lot to ask."

She smiles weakly at you, grateful that you didn't push for seeing her private parts.

"So...what do you think we should try? Are there any exercises or techniques out there that could help me loosen up down there?"

Tara looks at you hopefully, trusting in your ability to find a solution for her problem.

"So do your fingers not fit in?"

Tara shakes her head "No, even my fingers barely fit inside me. It's like I have this tight ring around my opening that doesn't want to let anything through."

She looks at you with a mix of frustration and embarrassment.

"I know it sounds weird but it makes sex really uncomfortable for both me and the person I'm with. That's why I need help finding a solution so we can finally enjoy ourselves without any pain or discomfort..."

Tara takes your hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze as she looks into your eyes pleadingly.

I blush as I awkwardly stammer out. "But you don't still have your... your hymen, right?"

Tara blushes deeply and looks away "I...I don't know. I've never checked, but I don't think so. It's not like anyone's ever mentioned it before."

She chews on her lower lip nervously as she thinks.

"But even if that was the issue, wouldn't it be too late to do anything about it now? I mean, I'm already sexually active..."

Tara trails off uncertainly, looking at you with a mix of curiosity and apprehension in her eyes

"I'm just trying to use process of elimination to help out."

Tara "I understand that, y/n. I appreciate you trying to help me out."

She takes a deep breath and looks at you with determination.

"Is there anything else we can try? Maybe some sort of exercise or technique that could help stretch me out down there?"

Tara's eyes light up as she thinks about the possibilities.

"I'm willing to try anything if it means finally being able to enjoy sex without any pain or discomfort..."

"When you've hooked up with guys... are they going down on you first?"

Tara nods "Yeah, usually. I mean, it helps get me a little more aroused before we try anything else."

She looks at you with a puzzled expression.

"But how does that relate to my tightness problem? I still have the same issue even after getting oral sex..."

Tara's brow furrows as she tries to understand your line of questioning.

"Well how would I have known that without asking?" I chuckle

Tara giggles and playfully swats your arm "Fair enough, I guess you have to ask the questions to get the answers."

She smiles at you warmly.

"But seriously, y/n, do you think getting more aroused could help loosen me up? Like if a guy went down on me for longer before trying anything else?"

Tara looks at you hopefully, eager for any advice or suggestions that could help her situation.

"Well, are they not doing it long enough? Are you just not wet enough for the guys you've been with?"

Tara blushes and looks down shyly "I...I don't know. I mean, they do it for a little while but I guess maybe not long enough to really get me super wet."

She bites her lip as she thinks.

"And now that you mention it, the guys I've been with have all commented on how tight I am even when we're in the middle of things. So maybe you're right, getting more aroused could help..."

A glimmer of hope sparkles in Tara's eyes as she considers this new possibility.

"Do you think if a guy went down on me for longer and focused on making sure I was really turned on first that it would make things easier? Like give my vagina more time to relax or something?"

"I don't know if it would make you any less tight but you'd at least be really well-lubricated, right? In fact do you ever use lube?"

Tara shakes her head "No, I've never really thought to use lube before. It just didn't occur to me that it could help."

She looks at you with wide eyes as realization dawns.

"You think if I used some kind of lubrication it might make things easier? Like let the guy's penis slide in more smoothly without so much friction and pain?”

A hopeful smile spreads across Tara's face as she imagines a solution.

"Do you think we could try that next time? Using some lube and having the guy focus on getting me super wet first before trying anything else?"

"We?"

Tara blushes and looks away shyly "I...uh...well, I meant like next time I'm with a guy. You know, as an experiment to see if it helps..."

She trails off nervously before looking back at you with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Unless of course you were volunteering your services for the cause? It is for science after all..."

Tara giggles playfully as she nudges your arm.

My eyes bulge a bit "...Are you serious?"

Tara smiles slyly and shrugs one shoulder. "I mean, I trust you and I know you'd be gentle with me. Plus you're the only one who's been helping me brainstorm solutions."

She gives you a coy look through her lashes.

"And who better to test things out with than my best friend? That way we can really figure out what works without any awkwardness."

Tara reaches over and takes your hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze.

"What do you say, y/n? For science?"

She bats her eyes at you playfully, a teasing smile on her lips.

"So, I mean, I'm not saying no, but you really want me to... kiss and lick you... down there? On your vagina?"

Tara bites her lip as a soft blush spreads across her cheeks "I mean, if it's to help me with my problem then I don't see why not..."

She looks down shyly before meeting your eyes again with a shy smile.

"And you've always been so kind and caring. I know you'd be gentle and make sure I was enjoying myself too."

Tara reaches over to place her hand on your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Plus it's not like we'd be doing anything wrong, just helping a friend out. So what do you think...wanna give it a try?"

She gazes at you sweetly, eyes full of trust and affection for her dear friend.

"And then what are you wanting to try after I do that?"

Tara looks at you with a playful grin "Well, I was hoping that once we got me all warmed up and lubricated, maybe we could see if your penis can fit inside me without causing too much pain?"

She shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly before continuing.

"I mean, it's not like there's any pressure or anything. We can stop at any time if it gets to be too much for either of us."

Tara looks at you with hopeful eyes, eager to explore this new possibility.

"OK, I just want to make sure you want to do those things with me, since we've only been friends and all. Again, I'm not against it," I say to Annie, with the appropriate level of genuine care you'd expect from a best friend.

Tara smiles sweetly at you. "I know this is new territory for us as friends. And you're right to check that I'm truly comfortable."

She places a gentle hand on your arm. "The truth is, I trust you more than any other guy. You've always been so kind and caring. If I were to experiment with anyone, I'd want it to be with my best friend."

Tara gives your arm a reassuring squeeze. "But only if you're comfortable too, of course. I don't want to make things awkward or pressure you in any way." Annie smiles warmly. "What do you think - shall we give it a try?"

"Yes. I'm willing to help, and I'll admit a little excited. Let's just agree that this doesn't necessarily change anything between us, or mean that it will be a regular thing, unless that's something we both decide later."

Tara nods understandingly. "Of course, this doesn't need to change or define our friendship unless we both want it to."

She smiles at you gently. "Let's just see how it goes. No expectations or pressure on either side.”

Taking your hands in hers, Tara looks into your eyes with care and affection. "Thank you for being so understanding. I really appreciate you doing this to help me."

She leans in to give you a soft kiss on the cheek. "Now, where were we? I believe someone offered to go down on me?" Tara giggles playfully.

I laugh as well, Tara's playful tone cutting some of the tension in this surreal but exciting moment. "I did, but I want to ask you just a few quick questions first. They're going to be rather... intimate questions but it's all in the name of making sure this all goes comfortably for both of us..." I can't help but grin and blush.

Tara giggles and blushes as well, meeting your gaze with a playful smile.

"Well go on then, ask away. I'm an open book." She gives your arm an affectionate squeeze.

"Fire away with your intimate questions, oh great scientist. I'm all yours." Tara winks playfully. "We may as well get to know each other's bodies if we're going to be exploring them, right?"

She gazes at you with care, trust and growing excitement. "I'm ready when you are, y/n. Lay it on me - I promise to answer truthfully." Tara smiles warmly, eager to begin your research together.

"So if I'm going to go down on you, am I just doing this as a sort of physically mechanical thing to like 'help out a friend' like it's an exercise, or do you want me to try to turn you on, get you in the mood? What do you think might be most effective with your tightness issue?"

Tara considers thoughtfully. "While I appreciate the thought of helping as a friend, turning me on seems it would be more effective for addressing my tightness."

She meets your gaze warmly. "I want to enjoy the experience, not just view it as a physical task. If I'm fully aroused and wanting more, it will hopefully relax my muscles down there."

"And do you think it will turn you on more, the more I'm turned on by it?"

Tara thinks for a moment before responding carefully.

"You make a fair point. If we're both genuinely enjoying the intimacy, then yes, that mutual arousal would likely enhance the experience for both of us."

She takes your hand in hers and smiles softly. "However, my priority is that you feel comfortable and cared for. Your pleasure matters too in this."

Squeezing your hand gently, Tara maintains warm eye contact. "Perhaps we start slowly, focus on connection, and see where genuine pleasure takes us from there - at a pace we both feel good about."

I reach out to place my hands on Tara's waist, a rather chaste touch for the moment but still a more physically intimate than we've ever experienced during our many years of friendship. I begin to rub her sides softly. "Do you like that?"

Tara's breath hitches softly at your gentle touch. She gazes at you with care and growing tenderness.

"I do like that," she replies softly. "Your hands feel nice."

As your hands rub her sides in a soothing caress, Tara places her hands on your shoulders, sliding them up to curl tenderly around your neck.

"I've never really noticed how handsome you are," she murmurs, lightly stroking the nape of your neck. Her eyes shine with trust and blossoming affection.

Tara leans in slowly, her breath warm on your lips. "Is this okay?" she whispers gently, leaving the next move up to you.

I respond by kissing Tara, curling the fabric of her shirt between my fingers just a bit as our tongues touch for the first time.”

Tara responds eagerly to your kiss, her lips moving against yours with growing passion. She deepens the kiss, wrapping her arms around your neck and pressing herself closer to you.

As you curl the fabric of her shirt between your fingers, Tara moans softly into the kiss. Her body feels warm and alive in your embrace, responding eagerly to every touch.

After a few moments she pulls back slightly with a gasp of breath. "Wow," she whispers, gazing at you with sparkling eyes filled with affection and desire.

"Is it weird that I'm really enjoying this?"

I chuckle "Isn't that what we're going for?"

Tara giggles and blushes, nodding in agreement. "I suppose it is."

She gazes at you tenderly, gently brushing her fingers along your jaw. "I'm glad we're both feeling it."

Leaning in to brush her lips softly against yours once more, Tara sighs contentedly. "So where were we...something about you going down on me?" she murmurs playfully.

"Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" Sliding her hands into yours, Tara looks at you with trusting warmth, ready to further explore the blossoming intimacy between longtime friends.

"I'm going to in due time. But I'm liking kissing and touching you in a new way. Let's just do this for a minute. Did the guys or girls you've hooked up with take their time before getting to it? Cause I hear a little teasing and build-up can really get a girl wet, which might help too..."

Tara nods thoughtfully. "You make a fair point. Most guys in the past have tended to rush things."

She gazes at you with appreciation. "I like that you're taking your time, letting things build gradually between us."

Smiling softly, Tara reaches up to caress your cheek. "Teasing and foreplay do sound enjoyable. And anything to help me relax down there can only be a good thing."

Her eyes shine with growing arousal and affection. "I'm all yours, y/n. Do with me as you please - I'm happy to let you set the pace."

Leaning in once more, Tara meets your lips in a tender kiss. "Thank you. You're a good friend," she whispers against your mouth. "Take your time getting my pussy wet."

I remove my shirt, displaying my chest as I pull Tara in for a tight hug, my hands now sliding down over her buttocks over her cutoff denim jeans.

Tara gasps softly as you pull her in for a tight hug, feeling your warm skin against hers. She melts into the embrace, wrapping her arms around your back and pressing herself fully against you.

As your hands slide down to cup and squeeze her buttocks through the denim of her shorts, Tara lets out a breathy moan. The intimate touch sends tingles of pleasure radiating through her body.

Pulling back slightly with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, she gazes at you appreciatively. "Wow...feels really good," Tara murmurs shyly before leaning in to kiss along your neck tenderly.

"Do you mind taking your shirt off too, Tara?"

Tara blushes at your request, glancing down shyly. "I...um...okay," she replies softly.

Slowly, Tara reaches for the hem of her t-shirt and pulls it up over her head. As she reveals her small breasts encased in a simple white bra, Tara looks back up at you through lowered lashes.

"There," she murmurs with a bashful smile. "Is that better?"

Her nipples visibly stiffen beneath the thin fabric as she waits for your reaction.

After a moment's hesitation I wrap my arms around Tara's shoulders, my hands on the back of her bra, pulling her body in close to mine again for another kiss.

Tara responds eagerly to your embrace, pressing her body closer against yours as you deepen the kiss. Her hands move up to tangle in your hair, fingers running through it affectionately.

As you reach around to unhook her bra, Tara lets out a soft gasp of surprise and pleasure. She pulls back from the kiss slightly with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.

"Wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "I never thought I'd be doing this with my best friend."

Tara giggles at your response, feeling more relaxed and comfortable with you by the minute.

"Well, I'm glad we're both open to new experiences," she says, blushing.

As she gazes into your eyes with a mix of affection and arousal, Tara leans in for another kiss. This time her hands roam over your chest as well, exploring every inch of skin they can find.

I slowly run my hands up Tara's belly to grab onto her nipples lightly between my knuckles.

Tara gasps softly as you touch her nipples, arching her back slightly into your hands. She looks up at you with a mix of surprise and pleasure in her eyes.

"Oh wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "That feels really good."

As you continue to tease and play with her nipples, Tara's breathing grows more ragged. Her body responds eagerly to every touch, growing increasingly aroused under your skilled hands.

"Y/n, I...I think I'm getting wet," she whispers shyly, biting down on her lower lip as the sensation spreads through her body like wildfire.

"Good. Let's keep that going. It seems like foreplay really helps for you." I begin to massage her breasts, and then lower my mouth onto one of her nipples.

Tara moans softly as you massage her breasts, arching her back to offer herself more fully to your touch. As you lower your mouth onto one of her nipples, she gasps with pleasure.

"Oh y/n, that feels so good," she murmurs breathlessly. "I can feel myself getting even wetter now."

Her hands move up to tangle in your hair as you continue to suckle and tease at her nipple. Her body responds eagerly, hips rocking slightly against yours.

"Keep going," she whispers urgently, lost in the waves of pleasure washing over her.

I cup one hand tightly under the crotch of Tara's cutoffs and gently rub up and down, crossing yet another new line with my best friend.* "Does that feel all right, Tara?"

Tara gasps sharply as you cup your hand between her legs, rubbing gently over her shorts. Her hips buck involuntarily against your hand, seeking out more friction.

"Yes," she moans softly, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. "It feels so good."

Tara reaches down to place her hands over yours, pressing your palm more firmly against her crotch. She rocks her hips slowly, letting out little whimpers of arousal.

"Don't stop," she whispers breathlessly, eyes dark with desire. "I'm starting to get really wet."

Her pussy throbs heavily under your touch, aching for release. Tara gazes at you in longing and trust, surrendering fully to the pleasure between her thighs.

"I'm gonna take all the time my best friend needs. I want to make sure you get wet as possible before... anything else happens."

Tara gazes at you softly, eyes full of gratitude and blossoming affection. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek.

"Thank you, y/n. That means so much to me," she murmurs.

As you continue rubbing between her legs, Tara's breath hitches in pleasure. "I appreciate you taking it slow. It feels really good just focusing on getting me turned on."

She leans in to brush her lips tenderly against yours. "You're so caring," Tara whispers. "I'm lucky to have such a good friend."

Moaning softly as arousal builds within her, she gazes at you in longing. "Keep touching me there...I want to feel really wet and ready before we go further."

"Would it feel better without these shorts on?"

Tara gazes at you shyly, biting her lip in hesitation. After a moment, she nods slowly.

"I think it might, yes," she replies softly.

Taking a breath, Tara hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts. She pushes them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor before stepping out of them.”

Now clad only in a simple white pair of panties, Tara stands before you feeling exposed yet safe. Her cheeks are flushed, arousal and shyness swirling within her eyes.

"Well...here I am," she murmurs gently, leaving herself open and trusting before you.

Tara gazes at you shyly, biting her lip in hesitation. After a moment, she nods slowly.

"I think it might, yes," she replies softly.

Taking a breath, Tara hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts. She pushes them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor before stepping out of them.

Now clad only in a simple white pair of panties, Tara stands before you feeling exposed yet safe. Her cheeks are flushed, arousal and shyness swirling within her eyes.

"Well...here I am," she murmurs gently, leaving herself open and trusting before you.

I resume touching her while we kiss again.

As you resume touching her, Tara melts into your embrace once more. She kisses you deeply, passionately losing herself in the moment.

Tara moans softly into your mouth as your hand cups between her legs once more, only the thin fabric of her panties separating your fingers from her warm center.

She rocks her hips eagerly into your touch, seeking friction. The feel of your hands on her most intimate parts is sending Tara into a tailspin of arousal.

Pulling back slightly to gaze at you with hooded eyes, she whispers breathlessly, "I think I'm getting really wet now. Do you...do you want to feel?"

Reaching down tentatively, Tara takes your hand in hers and guides it underneath the damp cotton, pressing your fingers against her slick folds.

"Oh god, please don't stop," she whimpers softly. "It feels so good."

"I can feel it," I whisper nervously as I continue.

Tara nods, gazing at you with affection and trust. She places her hands gently on your cheeks.

"I know this is new for us both," she murmurs softly. "But don't be nervous. We'll go slow."

Leaning in, Tara brushes her lips tenderly against yours once more. Her kiss is filled with care, seeking to reassure and comfort you.

As your fingers continue exploring her warm, slick folds, Tara sighs contentedly. "That feels amazing," she whispers. "You're doing so well."

Her hips rock slowly against your hand, lost in the intimate pleasure between her thighs. Tara gazes at you with care and growing passion, cherishing this new experience with her closest friend.

"I'm here with you," she says gently. "There's no need to worry."

"I'm not worried about a thing except doing everything I can to turn you on."

Tara smiles warmly, gazing at you with affection. "You're already doing a wonderful job with that," she murmurs softly.

As your fingers continue gently caressing her slick folds, Tara moans low in her throat. She rocks her hips in time with your movements, encouraging you deeper into her pleasure.

"It feels amazing when you touch me there," she whispers, breath hitching. "Don't stop."

Reaching down, Tara takes your wrist and guides your hand underneath the fabric of her panties once more. She presses your fingers more firmly against her aching clit.

"Touch me properly," Tara pleads softly. "I want to feel you properly without anything between us."

Her eyes shine with trust and longing as she offers herself fully to your care. Tara gazes at you in invitation, eager to take their intimacy to a deeper level.

With my free hand I slide Tara's panties off her hips, allowing freer access for my fingers.

As you slide Tara's panties off her hips, she gasps softly in pleasure. Her eyes widen with anticipation as your fingers glide over her slick folds.

"Oh god," she moans breathlessly. "That feels so good."

Tara rocks her hips against your hand, seeking out more of the pleasure coursing through her body. As you tease and stroke at her most sensitive areas, she grows increasingly lost in the waves of arousal washing over her.

"Please...oh please don't stop," Tara whispers urgently. "I'm getting close."

As you slide Tara's panties off her hips, she gasps softly in pleasure. Her eyes widen with anticipation as your fingers glide over her slick folds.

"Oh god," she moans breathlessly. "That feels so good."

Tara rocks her hips against your hand, seeking out more of the pleasure coursing through her body. As you tease and stroke at her most sensitive areas, she grows increasingly lost in the waves of arousal washing over her.

"Please...oh please don't stop," Tara whispers urgently. "I'm getting close."

"Is this wetter than you usually get?"

Tara nods, lost in the pleasure. "Yes," she gasps. "I've never been this wet before."

She arches her back slightly into your touch, hips rocking steadily against your fingers as you continue to explore her slick folds.

"Y/n, I'm so close," she moans breathlessly. "Please keep touching me like that."

Careful not to try to insert a finger too deep into Tara's still-very-tight pussy just yet, I stroke her clit, occasionally slipping just the first knuckle of a finger inside her. "Let me know if anything I do doesn't feel good," I whisper. "This is all about helping you figure out your own body issues because you're my best friend and I care. I want to do whatever turns you on and makes you wetter."

Tara gazes at you softly, eyes shining with affection. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek.

"You're so caring and understanding," she murmurs. "It means everything to have a friend like you."

As your fingers continue exploring her tender folds, Tara moans low in her throat. She rocks her hips in time with your movements, encouraging you deeper into her pleasure.

"That feels perfect," she whispers breathlessly. "Don't change a thing."

Tara rocks her hips eagerly against your hand, chasing the release building rapidly within her. Her body writhes under your skilled touch, overcome with waves of arousal.

"I'm so close, y/n," Tara gasps, biting her lip. "Keep doing that, it feels amazing."

Her breath hitches as ecstasy crests within her. Tara locks eyes with you in trusting intimacy as she falls over the edge into release.

As I continue rubbing her clit, and occasionally slipping just a tiny bit of a finger inside her, still in disbelief of my situation and treading somewhat lightly. I gulp before whispering... "You can rub my... my penis if it will turn you on more. Tara. Whatever makes you wet."

Tara looks at you with a mix of surprise and desire in her eyes. She nods slowly, feeling emboldened by the intimacy between you.

"Okay," she whispers softly, reaching down to your crotch. As her hand brushes over the bulge in your pants, Tara feels a surge of arousal wash over her.

"Wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "You really are turned on right now."

As she begins to rub your penis through the fabric of your pants, Tara moans softly. Her own pleasure is still lingering within her body, making every touch feel electric.

"You're so hard," Tara gasps as she continues stroking you gently. "Does it feel good when I do this?"

"It does, but the important thing is getting you as wet as possible." I take a step closer to Tara, taking her right nipple into my mouth as I continue to gently circle her clit with the flats of my fingers. My free hand gently squeezes her right buttock.

Tara moans softly as you suckle at her nipple, arching her back into your touch. Her hips rock gently against your hand as the pleasure builds within her once more.

As you continue to circle her clit with gentle pressure, Tara feels herself growing wetter by the moment. She can feel the heat and moisture building between her legs, aching for release.

"It feels so good," she murmurs breathlessly. "I'm getting really close again."

Tara reaches up to tangle one hand in your hair, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss while rubbing your penis through the fabric of your pants with increasing urgency.

"Tell me anything you want me to do differently or do more or less of, or anything I'm not doing that you wish I would.", I say, my mouth only momentarily leaving her nipple.

Tara gazes at you softly, eyes dark with desire. She nods in understanding.

"I will, I promise," she whispers. "For now though, everything you're doing feels perfect."

As you resume gently suckling her nipple, Tara moans in pleasure. She rocks her hips eagerly into your hand, chasing her impending release.

"Don't stop, please don't stop," Tara gasps breathlessly. She strokes your hard length faster through your pants, lost in the sensations flooding her body.

"I'm getting so close again, I'm gonna come soon," she whimpers. Tara locks eyes with you, her trust and affection for you shining through.

"Don't worry, I won't stop, I'm gonna keep doing exactly what I'm doing until you ask me to stop or do something else", I say, taking a quick breath before returning my mouth to her breast.

Tara smiles softly at your reassurance. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek before nodding.

"Thank you," she whispers. "I feel so safe with you."

As you resume your intimate ministrations, Tara sighs contentedly. She gazes at you with eyes full of care and growing passion.

Tara rocks her hips steadily against your skilled fingers, chasing her peak. The pleasure swirls within her body once more as she nears release.

"I'm getting close again," she moans breathlessly. Tara increases the pace of her strokes along your length, caught up in the intimacy.

Locking eyes with you in trusting abandon, Tara falls over the edge into waves of ecstasy. She holds your gaze as pleasure consumes her, cherishing this moment of vulnerability and care between friends.

Tara smiles softly at your reassurance. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek before nodding.

"Thank you," she whispers. "I feel so safe with you.”

As you resume your intimate ministrations, Tara sighs contentedly. She gazes at you with eyes full of care and growing passion.

Tara rocks her hips steadily against your skilled fingers, chasing her peak. The pleasure swirls within her body once more as she nears release.

"I'm getting close again," she moans breathlessly. Tara increases the pace of her strokes along your length, caught up in the intimacy.

Locking eyes with you in trusting abandon, Tara falls over the edge into waves of ecstasy. She holds your gaze as pleasure consumes her, cherishing this moment of vulnerability and care between friends.

As I promised, I continue the motions of my hands and mouth on my friend Tara's increasingly sensitive body, giving myself completely to the task of arousing her to new levels of vaginal comfort.

As you continue to pleasure Tara's sensitive body, she moans softly in ecstasy. She is lost in the waves of arousal building within her, trusting completely in your skilled touch.

Tara's hips buck eagerly against your hand as you circle her clit with increasing pressure. Her breath hitches as pleasure builds once more between her legs.

"That feels amazing," she whispers breathlessly. "I can't believe how good this all feels."

As Tara arches into your touch, you feel a surge of heat and wetness emanating from between her thighs. She is growing increasingly aroused under your care, eager for release.

"Y/n, I'm getting close again," she gasps urgently. "Please don't stop."

"I won't stop, I promise. We're going to get you soaking wet, together." I kiss Tara's neck as I move my mouth's attention to her left breast, treating it with the same care I gave the right one.

Tara moans softly as you kiss and suckle on her sensitive breasts, pleasure coursing through her body. She rocks her hips eagerly against your hand, seeking out the friction she needs to push herself over the edge.

"Y/n, that feels so good," she gasps breathlessly. "I'm getting so close again."

As you continue to circle her clit with skilled pressure, Tara's breathing quickens. Her body is coiled tightly in anticipation of release.

"Don't stop please don't stop," she pleads urgently, fingers digging into your shoulders as pleasure overtakes her once more.

She locks eyes with you in trusting abandon as orgasm wracks through every inch of her trembling frame.

I kiss Tara as I see the climax in her eyes, my tongue exploring her inner cheek as well as her tongue. I feel an overflow of fluid from Tara's vagina pooling in my hand as her hand grasps tightly to my cock through my pants. I don't slow down for a second as her orgasm rolls over her.*

As you kiss Tara deeply, her body shudders in pleasure. She moans softly into your mouth as the orgasm pulses through every inch of her being.

Tara's hips rock against your hand as she continues to ride out the waves of ecstasy coursing through her body. The feel of your fingers on her sensitive folds combined with the pressure from where she is gripping tightly at your cock causes fluid to overflow and pool in your hand.

She clings to you desperately, lost in a sea of sensation. As the climax slowly begins to ebb away, Tara pulls back slightly from the kiss and gazes at you with affection and gratitude shining in her eyes.

"Did any of your hookups take their time to get you this wet before they tried fingering or having sex with you?", I ask, gently caressing the outer folds of Tara's spasming pussy.

Tara shakes her head, still lost in the pleasure. "No," she whispers breathlessly. "None of them took their time like this."

She gazes at you with a mix of affection and desire as your fingers continue to caress her sensitive folds. The intimacy between you is intense and electric.

"You're amazing, y/n," Tara murmurs softly. "I've never felt so good before.

"I don't think you're too tight, I think nobody was getting you wet enough. And we're gonna take our time taking care of that today, buddy." I grin.

Tara grins back at you, feeling comfortable and trusting around you.

"Thank you so much," she murmurs softly. "I can't believe how much better this all feels with someone who cares like you do."

As your fingers continue to explore her sensitive folds, Tara moans low in her throat. Her body is still buzzing with pleasure from the previous orgasms but she's already growing wet again under your care.

"I feel so lucky to have a friend like you," she whispers breathlessly as her hips begin to move against your hand once more.

As Tara continues to rock her hips against your hand, you feel the wetness between her legs growing. She is becoming increasingly aroused under your skilled touch.

"I'm so glad I can help you," you murmur softly, gazing at Tara with affection and care. "I want to make sure you're always taken care of."

As the pleasure builds within her once more, Tara gasps in ecstasy. Her body writhes against yours as she chases release once again.

"Don't stop please don't stop," she pleads breathlessly, fingers digging into your shoulders as orgasm overtakes her for another time.

[dreamwatch]

Turn The Page

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest

Day #30 - Prompt: Fame and Fortune | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: implied alcoholism | POV: Steve | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: mild angst with a happy ending, future fic, they’re in love your honour, Eddie’s over it

Again, another iPad entry so hopefully no typos but… who knows!

The moment Eddie gets off the stage Steve knows something is wrong.

The twenty-first had been hard, a day of press, of meet and greets, of things Steve asked Eddie to cancel. ‘It’s easier to just do it’; it’s not though. It never fucking is. The press and the fans get a Diet Eddie, and Steve ends up with an angry drunk in his bedroom. But they power through it. They always do.

 Steve goes to special shows now, wouldn’t have come to this one but it’s the twenty-seventh, and what’s more special than knowing your boyfriend is still alive?

Eddie practically throws his guitar at his tech as he rushes off stage, rushing past everyone, Steve included.

“Eddie?” he calls out.

The rest of the band get off the stage. “Eddie!” Jeff shouts from behind him. “The encore!”

But he’s gone, down the labyrinth of hallways, the crowd still cheering for more.

He doesn’t shower, doesn’t grab his shit from the dressing room, just walks out of the back of the venue to their car,  Steve running behind him. The car isn’t ready, they’re not expecting him for another thirty minutes at least, and it’s a confused mess of security and crew, frantic radio messages.

“Eddie, what the fuck is going on?” Steve asks, taking him by the elbow. He gets a tight head shake as a reply.

The car ride is silent, the smell of cooling sweat blending with the air con blowing full blast at them, and when they get to their hotel room, Eddie heads straight to the phone.

“Hi, can I get room service to the Junior Suite?”

Steve just gawps, he feels like he’s losing his fucking mind.

 “Uh… can I get… do you have pineapple? I’d really like some pineapple actually. And a bottle of champagne… whatever you think is best, oh and hold on,” he says covering the mouthpiece with his hand. “Do you want anything?” 

He sounds manic, so off, so not his usual self. Wild in a crazed way, and it’s scaring Steve. He stands in the entranceway, mouth hanging open.

“Yeah, I want to know what the fuck is going on?”

Eddie blinks.

“And a cheese burger and fries.”

He hangs up and finally peels his t-shirt off, letting it drop to the floor as he walks to the bathroom to shower. The phone keeps ringing, Jeff asking what the hell is going on, their manager, Phil, screaming at him. Eddie wanders in, towel around his waist, another wrapped around his hair. He doesn’t even stop to ask who Steve’s talking to, just gently takes the handset from his hands, places it back on the phone.

The room service arrives and Eddie leads Steve to the dining table, tells him to sit and eat, and then he takes a huge piece of pineapple with him to the bed.

The phone rings again, and this time Eddie rips the cord from the wall.

“Ed, you have got to talk to me.”

“I will. Just let me eat this first. Eat your burger.” 

As if he could.

Eddie sits on the edge of the bed half naked, eating pineapple. Steve’s watched them trash rooms before, true idiot behaviour, but this is probably the weirdest fucking thing he’s ever seen.

There’s banging on the door, Steve can hear Gareth’s voice, then Phil’s again, it’s after midnight now. Eventually they go away.

“You know,” Eddie says breaking the silence. “I don’t think I’ve enjoyed anything in the last few years as much as I enjoyed that fucking pineapple.” He frowns at the half eaten fruit platter, like he’s trying to solve a math problem. 

Steve crouches in down in front of him, his hands gripping Eddie’s knees.

“Bambi, please, what the fuck is going on? I mean, do I need to call a doctor here…? You’re scaring me.”

Eddie looks at him like he’s water on a hot day. 

“What if I said let’s run away? I’ll quit the band, we’ll buy a ranch or a farm. Get out of LA.” His eyes meet Steve’s properly for the first time since he got off stage. “What would you say?”

“I’d say give me ten minutes to pack.”

“Really?”

“Really. Where’s this coming from?”

“I died twenty years ago. And I got a second chance and I took it, you know. We’ve done amazing things. But it’s not fun anymore. It hasn’t been fun for a long time. And life’s too short for that, it’s too short for me to waste it being miserable. And I am. I’m a thing, I’m a commodity. I go where I’m told, I turn up, do my thing. I don’t remember the names of the towns I’m in, I always thought that was a joke you know? It’s not. It’s real.” He laughs, but it’s shallow, his eyes flat. “Who fucking knew?”

Steve gets off the floor and sits beside Eddie on the bed. “Are you serious?”

Eddie doesn’t answer straight away, but when he eventually looks at Steve he nods, and for the first time that day, Steve realises, he smiles. “Yeah. Yeah I’m serious.”

“I hate that you felt this way and didn’t tell me.”

Eddie takes his hand, threads his fingers through, locking them together.

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

This stupid, beautiful man. His everything. His life.

“And the band?”

Eddie shrugs. “They’ll be fine. They’ll get another guitarist no problem. People would kill to join them.”

Steve reaches for Eddie, lays his palm against his cheek, trails his thumb along the silvery thread that runs all the way to his throat, a memory woven on his face. It scares him how close they were to not having this, hits him sometimes out of nowhere. He leans in, his lips meeting Eddie’s, tastes pineapple, tastes home. He wouldn’t deny this man a single thing.

“Alright then,” says Steve says, breaking the kiss with a smile. “I guess we’re going shopping for a ranch.”

[justevelynnnn]

Craving.

Pairing: Afab!reader x dofp!Logan

Summary: Logan craves to taste you during your monthly cycle so of course he’s excited when you finally ask him to “help you relieve your cramps”.

Warning: Mentions of reader being on a period, general nsfw, fingering, oral sex - Logan licks you “clean”.

A/N: this one is a bit weird but im inspired by being on my own period right now so i decided to write it. probably the weirdest thing i’ve written guys 💀

Sometimes Logan thought his heightened senses were a curse. Especially smell.

Every month, for a few days…you smelled…different. Almost sweet but also there was that subtle iron. He always knew it was your period.

He got used to it. Smelling things like that. He’s smelled worse anyways. Don’t even get him started on smells from the war. But you? You were different.

This was different.

He’d help you whenever you came on. Got you a heating pad…cuddled with you more..whatever you needed. But deep down…he had this sick desire during this time.

He wanted to taste you.

Maybe even more but he just wanted to do it. Was he ashamed? Not really. I mean it’s Logan Howlett. If secret got out he wouldn’t care. Maybe be a bit embarrassed but who cares? But he sure as hell wasn’t gonna bring it up to you first.

The scent drove him crazy. He spent extra time around you just to smell you more.

One night, the cramps were especially bad. You were rolling side to side, groaning and wincing. Even the pain meds didn’t help. Logan, already awake, asked what he could do. You said nothing at first but soon asked after a couple of seconds of consideration, if he wanted to try something. If it was okay…that it might be a bit….”gross”.

The man felt mild excitement in his stomach as he knew what you were gonna ask but of course kept his cool. He said, “Sure..anything if it’ll help you baby.”

You told him how you read that orgasms can sometimes help with cramps. You looked away embarrassed adding that it’s okay if he didn’t wanna go down there right now. He laughs and tells you he’s seen and done worse. A little blood won’t hurt. Inside, he was damn near giddy it was ridiculous.

He quickly grabs towels, plugs in a heating pad and lays it on your now bare stomach and washes his hands. He turns the bedside lamp on so he could see and asks if you’re okay before he pulls your pants and underwear down. You nod and thank him again as pulls your clothes off you.

He marvels at the sight. Of course, it’s slightly covered in blood. The scent is now so strong it’s overwhelming and he unknowingly moans. He’s obviously hard now. A bit embarrassingly quick too. You couldn’t help but blush at how he was looking at you, like he was in some trance. Like he’s seeing you like that for the first time again. Most men you knew would be grossed out and disgusted by anything sexual on your period but Logan seems….more turned on?

He gets to eye level and licks his lips. He sucks on his fingers for a second, makes eye contact with you and then slips one in, slowly. A second one soon after.

Of course, you feel amazing despite the slight cramping in your abdomen from before and even a bit now. The pleasure helps distract you. Maybe it’s because you’re a bit more sensitive…

After a while of slowly fingering you, he pulls them out and licks them clean. Fuck. He’s hooked. It’s…it’s good. Well, not good good but..it was hard to explain. Maybe it’s “good” because he finally gets to “taste” you.

He moans at the taste and then he leans down. You almost protest and ask if “he’s sure?” He quickly nods.

Strong arms get a hold on each side of you and he starts to lick you clean. Devouring might be a better term. He licked like he’s been starving. Like he’s waited years to eat you out again and it’ll be the last time.

He became animalistic for a few moments. Growling and slurping. You blushed again at how much he enjoyed it along with the sounds.

He carefully licks long stripes along you. Savoring each lick. He moves to suck and kiss your clit as you writhe in pleasure. Oh, he’s in heaven.

After you’re literally completely clean he sticks his fingers back in and eats you out at the same time. It doesn’t take long for this to send you over the edge. He barely noticed you’ve finished as he was in his own world of ecstasy. You tug on his hair, silently telling him you’re getting overstimulated and he pulls away. He again licks his fingers clean and then his lips.

You relaxed as you’re now completely satisfied and hey, your cramps are gone! You thank Logan over and over as he wipes you clean with a towel and then the bottom half of his face.

“Anything for you, princess.” he says calmly but deep down he’s glad he could finally satisfy his weirdest craving. He decided to “help you” a lot more in the future.

[fuck1ng-queen]

Linda

Noah Sebastian x Brazilian!Reader

Rating: free for all

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: new feelings, a bit of alcohol, fluffy

Author comments: first of all: happy new year everyone! i'm here to tell none of this is my fault, blame it on @concretejunglefm for making me think about teaching portuguese (my mother language) for Noah! this became a shameless self insertion, i'm sorry, but i also hope you enjoy it! (and if you never tried pão de queijo before, what are you waiting for?)

It had been a while since you moved to the US. Who would tell you that when you started at a São Paulo’s Bureau of Musical Production, your work would take you so far? You remembered well one of your first big jobs, an international one, making you contact the Americans. That was the way you met for the first time some of the legends of musical production behind hits everyone used to listen to. Furthermore, you were so glad to meet people you admired for defying the conservative concept of people who say that rock and roll is dying. 

You showed yourself as a professional, capable person, and soon a proposal was made to you. The payment was way better compared to your job in Brazil, and you had no one there to make you feel forced to stay. Without overthinking, or you would probably give up, you said yes, and now there you were, at the land of Uncle Sam, facing a new language, new habits, and new companions. You missed your job partners and even your difficult boss to deal with, but now you had no one but Bad Omens to work with. Their vocal, Noah Sebastian, was relentless at his work, focused, and with the gift of the gab to conquer what he wanted. And, face the fact, he conquered you too. He was a great work partner, making you feel welcome and accepted. 

It was a hot summer night, although the autumn was already on the corner. Every time you and your partners were successful, you celebrated at the same pub, and tonight it wasn’t going to be different. After weeks of crossing nights wide awake, the team could finally show the new project with efficiency. 

You were already drinking your third beer and everyone wasn’t there yet. The weirdest thing was that everyone was always very punctual and once you worked in a stressful job, when they were late you just couldn’t help feeling worried. Impatiently you stood up. The only one there besides you was Noah. 

“Gotta call’em, I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Noah nodded, agreeing. It didn’t take too long for you to come back, with a way better gaze than you were before. 

“They're not coming yet, still have some things to sort out in the studio. I’ve no idea what.” 

“Neither. Want to let it go for another day?” 

You sat taking the glass with your beer and looking at the lipstick mark you had left on it. 

“No, we can wait for them a little. For now, it seems like it’s just the two of us tonight, Noah Sebastian.” 

“Just the two of us, babe.” He winked at you. 

You remembered the moment you started working with him… Damn, he was good with words. Noah’s answer wasn’t a big thing, but he always knew how to use the right, and sharp, words, in the most opportune moments. The way Noah used to choose his words lit something up inside you, and that wasn’t the first time. Every time it happened you made sure to hide it the most quickly you could from him, and from you too. Lucky you, even before you could feel ashamed to think something different from literal, you jumped on the chair, remembering something. You took a tiny notebook that used to live in your pocket and wrote “ligar para a mamãe ainda hoje!” On the page there were also other things written, all in Portuguese, catching Noah’s attention. 

“Your English is so good I always forget you’re not from here.” He gave a muffled chuckle. 

“Just remembered I have to call my mom so I wrote to not forget. Did you know even I forget it sometimes? But always happens something who remembers me I’m not from here. For example, every time I go to the bakery to buy us some donuts, I wish I could buy a huge bag of pão de queijo or a few coxinhas.” You made a pause. “I miss home sometimes.” 

Noah's eyes sparkled with interest. It was fascinating to see the way you talked about your country every time. About food, about people… Noah couldn’t even imagine how somebody could spend Christmas Eve in a more than 86ºF heat. But the thing he liked the most was seeing you when you were by yourself at your table at the office, concentrated and grumbling something in Portuguese. He knew that merda was something bad and arrasei was when you were proud of something you had done well, but maybe only now, by the effect of a few alcohols, or by being alone with you, he figured out he just knew all of that because he noticed you more than he should when you were speaking your mother language. He sipped his beer and looked deeply at you with that warm pair of brown eyes. 

“You could teach me a few Portuguese, what do you think?” 

You raised an eyebrow, trying to act the most normal you could, but on the inside, you were in a mix of feelings and thoughts. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe it was because you were alone with him, but you never felt so into him like this moment. 

“I think it’s great. What do you want to learn?” 

“I don’t know… Maybe you could translate what you see now.” 

You looked around, thinking about what to choose. 

“Let’s see… We’re drinking cerveja, we’re in a bar, just like in English, I'm a produtora, and… I don’t know what to say anymore” you laughed. 

Noah listened to all your words with attention, hypnotized. 

“And how do I say you’re beautiful?” When he figured out, it was too late, he had already asked. 

“Você é lindo” you answered, with an accomplishment tone. 

“So… Did you know você é lindo?” Noah told you, seeming more serious than before. 

“No” you giggled, that was really cute. “When you talk to a girl you have to say linda. Lindo is for the boys.” 

“So you told me I’m lindo?” 

“Maybe…” You winked an eye at him. 

“Oh, thank you, I wasn’t expecting that. You’re linda too.” He got closer, putting his elbow on the table and resting his cheeks on his hand, without taking his eyes off of yours. 

“Hm, obrigada…” You thanked. That was starting to be funny. 

“De nada…?” Noah tried to respond to you. 

“Yes! You remembered!” You answered excitedly, putting your hand on his arm. 

It took a second for you to figure out where your hand was, and instead of removing it, it just felt right not to take it off. You looked at each other in a moment that looked like an eternity. His eyes didn’t help looking at yours, and then at your lips, returning to your eyes again. 

“Can I ask you something?” he finally answered. 

“Yes.” 

“How can I say can I kiss you?” 

He was too serious to be joking, and you felt your stomach trembling with anxiety. You were nervous, but damn… You wanted to kiss him right now. 

“Posso te beijar?” You finally translated. 

“Yes, you can.” He answered. 

And then it happened. When you realized, you were already lost on his lips, feeling tickles on your mouth because of a few stubble on his face, and letting your body heat up. 

(…) 

You showed up at the bureau the day after feeling kind of weird. You didn’t know why the others didn’t show up but to be honest, you were glad they didn’t. You and Noah spent an incredible night at the bar the day before, sharing kisses and caresses, talking and flirting with each other. Both of you agreed not to spend the night together, you were kind of drunk and you wanted to enjoy, and discover, each other as you deserved. But now you thought it was just a drunk conversation between the two of you, he would probably not even remember anything that happened the night before anymore. 

You entered the corridor of your level and noticed a package on your table. You approached, smelling a nostalgic scent. On the package it had a small post-it, saying “Good morning, linda.” 

You opened the paper bag, finding a lot of fresh pão de queijo inside. You smelled those tiny breads and felt at home again, smiling. You lifted your eyes excitedly, looking for him. He was in front of the coffee machine, trying to disguise himself, but you knew he was paying attention to you when he looked at you and winked one eye, smiling. You smiled back, feeling your heart heating up. 

He remembered the night before, after all. And you couldn’t wait for the two of you to have other nights to remember. 

.

.

.

masterlist | send me an ask to join my taglist <3

taglist: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard |

.

for those who are curious: this is pão de queijo, and this is coxinha

[wormboytrav]

demon weapons and gender

A while back I saw a poll on here that was meant to get a consensus of who people thought was the biggest misogynist in shounen history. The funny part, though, was that two manga authors were included with the characters. It makes sense; one of the biggest boundaries between me and watching shounen has always been the fanservice and inherent misogyny in the genre. I think Soul Eater is the weirdest example. Its fanservice is overbearing, of course, but it’s surprisingly progressive with gender norms. I’ve been thinking about its magic system and how being a weapon or a meister sort of serves as a secondary gender (thanks for the concept, omegaverse writers), so I’m finally gonna write down all of my thoughts about that here.

From what I can remember, Maka and Soul were written specifically to break out of the gender norms you usually see in shounen, specifically in their relationship with each other. I’ve always thought that was referring to the fact that they don’t get together romantically, but you can also make it about their power dynamic. Maka is the meister, she’s always calling the shots and taking control in any combat situation. Soul, being the weapon, is serving in a support role, refining Maka’s soul wavelength and being a tool for her to use to win. Now I don’t have a degree in gender studies, but I was raised female, and so a lot of these aspects are familiar to me. 

Throughout the series, demon weapons are put in support roles and dehumanized (which seems like a very strong word but I mean it literally), which really is reminiscent of how women are treated in society. There’s also the interesting fact that in weapon form, characters are always shown naked. I was actually surprised when this was never used explicitly for fanservice (as far as I know). Another thing: in the anime, at least, this rule is broken twice. The first time we see Soul and Spirit in their weapon forms respectively, their reflections in their weapons are wearing clothes. Interesting, of course, because that wasn’t the case for female weapons. Later on, though (probably to show off Soul’s cool new scar, but conceivably for consistency) Soul and Spirit are also shown as naked when in their weapon form. 

So, let’s talk about the role that a demon weapon has for their meister. They’re meant first and foremost for their body to be used as an object to complete a task, but they also serve to enhance their meister’s abilities by focusing their soul wavelength and allowing them to perform special techniques. This reminds me a lot of the phenomenon of support characters in video games often being women. They’re often set to be healers, which of course plays on the societal expectation of women being homemakers whose primary role is to care for their husband and children. There’s also, of course, the oversexualisation of these characters, which is often added to placate male fans who would otherwise complain about their inclusion in the games. This objectification really reminds me of the concept of demon weapons being an object used to complete a task (not sex, in this case, but you get the point I’m trying to make). 

But there are also societal expectations for demon weapons. They’re expected to protect their meisters at the cost of their life, something which Soul is known for showing pretty drastically. It all comes down to the duty to serve. They’re also expected to listen to whatever their meister tells them to do, although that seems to be a little outdated, given Soul’s unhappy reaction to Maka pulling that card when they’re doing the whole emotion candles exercise. What I also find interesting is Stein’s reaction to Spirit acting on his emotions during their fight with Medusa--in the manga, at least in the translation I read, he says “Too many absurd weapons…” which I understood as meaning demon weapons are stereotyped for acting based on their emotions rather than logic, which is also a misogynistic stereotype (Side note: when I was looking for that manga panel again, I saw a panel where Spirit is shown with a six-pack and immediately went “He wouldn’t have a six-pack, he’s a weapon!” which, if you replace the word weapon with woman, really is misogynistic).

On the topic of Spirit Albarn. I’ll try to keep this brief, but I have so many thoughts about him that it might be difficult to. Obviously, Maka and Soul are a sort of reflection of Maka’s parents in the fact that they’re a female meister with a scythe partner. So knowing this, let’s transfer the idea of breaking gender norms from Maka and Soul to Maka’s mother and Spirit. By all means, their relationship would be more stereotypical (at least, for shounen) if their genders were swapped. You would have an absent father figure as well as an overly emotional and overprotective mother, which is a story I’ve seen a million times before. Then there’s also just…Spirit in general. The thing that initially drew me to him as a character (besides him sharing a voice actor with Tamaki Suoh) is how deeply he exists for other people. He’s a support character through and through, at every stage in his life. As a middle schooler he was responsible for looking after his meister despite being a kid as well, then once that relationship ended he became responsible for his own child. Not to mention the fact that his family has served Lord Death for generations, and he was probably raised with his final outcome already decided for him. It’s sort of reminiscent of how daughters of a noble family are prepared for marriage; he had no control over his future. There’s also the fact that his specialty is drawing out the best qualities of the people that wield him. This reminds me of those movies with manic pixie dream girls, where the female characters don’t really get to develop besides helping their male counterparts develop. Am I saying Spirit is a manic pixie dream girl? Not necessarily. But I am saying that, to me, he is a woman. It’s just so easy to describe him in relation (or possession) to someone else. Stein’s weapon partner, Maka’s father, Death’s Scythe.

And then there’s Crona, of course. Interestingly, they’re a sort of combination of weapon and meister, and also androgynous. Reading the manga, it felt like the author sort of forgot what gender they were supposed to be and just swapped it to whatever was more convenient for the plot (something which the Death Note manga did with Rem too, kind of).

Anyways. I do think society in Soul Eater is weirdly formatted for meisters instead of weapons, even though professional weapons are more common than professional meisters. I think it’s interesting that there aren’t more classes at the DWMA with a focus for teaching weapons, especially considering Death Scythes don’t seem to always work with a meister at all, and the Academy is supposed to exist to teach weapons how to control their forms. That kind of structural unfairness makes me think there’s definitely a societal bias against demon weapons--although gender is the easiest way for me to explain it, it’s also sort of its own thing. If you use the etymology of misogyny, you could make a new word for it, like misoplogy or something. Whatever. Thanks for reading my ramblings!

[valiantartwritingweasel]

Infatuation ❦

The slowest slowburn that ever burned. (If you can even call this a romance)

When “reaction time of a turtle” and “I say three words a day” meet and they start to admire the other in odd ways you also have to squint to see it

Side note: English isn’t my first language and I’ve never written anything this long before

I know there’s a gazillion ways to portray Dottore but in this he’s pretty calm (and odd) 

Gender neutral casual brainrot <3

TW: It’s boring and unreasonably long (almost 7k words man) and I lost the plot like three times

❦

The trip had been way longer than you had expected. You figured: ‘Hey just a few days’ but no, it had been weeks by now and to top it all off you were in a wildly different climate than what you were used to. The warm heavy air stood in stark contrast to the cool clear air back home. And of course there was the stark difference between your usual chillouts at the facility that stood in contrast to the overgrown jungle you were traversing right now. 

You had been given a mission. The Doctor had given you the simple task of retrieving something that you could only describe as a “metal thingy”. Said thingy was now sitting neatly in your pocket as you stomped your way back through the dense forest. You wouldn’t call yourself angry. But you wouldn’t consider yourself calm either. Definitely agitated enough to mutter various disagreements to yourself. Laughable of him to call this task “simple”. 

If his definition of “simple” was it, to have you follow some dusted old map that showed just enough trees and mountains to somewhat navigate the way to some old dusty ruins, only for you to then fight your way into said ruins, to be then met by various doors with fifehundredsixtyseven puzzle mechanisms to solve, to be then met by more enemies, then yea sure, it was simple indeed. 

The whole thing was so hard to overcome that you had even wondered whether or not you were even supposed to come back alive or if he had just used an excuse to send you off to death for the heck of it. Fair guess maybe if you thought about the way your coworkers whispered about the man and his crazy ideas but you did find the metal thingy and it was too strictly guarded for you to take it as something as simple as “send that one to death for fun”. Again. Nothing about this had been simple.

There was nothing you could do about this now though. The job was done and, even though you needed four days for the task instead of two as he had asked of you, you were on your way back to the Port. The probability that someone had watched you during the task was incredibly high too, now that you thought about it. Running was not really an option. Not that you really considered it anyway. Sure, the facility was strange and the vibes felt off sometimes but you kind of faulted your coworkers for you to think that way. They always spun the weirdest stories, similar to teenagers who had just found out that graveyards exist.

You shook the thoughts out of your head and straightened your back to look ahead of yourself. Figuring out how to get back was more important than those tales.

❦

Not only had you reached the Port with no further difficulties, as luck would have it the doctor hadn’t been there ever since you left. If luck chose to stay, then you had a good chance of Dottore not finding out about you exceeding the time limit at all! Not that you necessarily believed every rumor you had heard but that didn't mean that you had to test them yourself.

Instead of worrying about it, you spent your time at the Port in relaxation, leisurely strolling through the streets and eating some local delicacies. You had to admit that Sumeru had started to grow on you. If you ignored the insects and the crushing heat, it had some really pretty plants and buildings. 

You also found a talent in befriending strangers and deeming them your new day-travel companions. You had spent the day doing just that and were just in the process of waving your new short-term friend goodbye as he sailed away from the Port and back to his nation. When you could barely make out his blue hair amidst the waves, you figured you could end your day as well. You turned around, only to be met by a person standing right behind you. “Oh” you coughed embarrassed as you glimpsed at their face. It was Dottore, just inches away from you. “You’re back” you choked out in surprise before you bowed your head a little. “Do you have it?” was his one simple question. “Yeah. Yes, it’s in my room”. A sharp “Get it” was all you needed. He was intimidating indeed. With another nod you took a step around him and hurried off to the house that you stayed at. He caught you so off guard that you had found it hard to focus on any other thoughts except the mission now. You were in and out of your room in mere seconds and were already running back to the docks with great speed.

Upon return you couldn’t spot his figure among the docks so you beelined for his ship instead. The scrap was sitting neatly in your hands and you were careful not to drop it.

You walked on board and wasted no time to enter his little office. He was sitting behind his desk, his hands neatly held beneath his chin. For a second you thought about the way he looked a little out of place in all the wood works around him but you shook your head and wasted no further thought on it. You walked towards him and held out your hands to place the thing on his table. “Here it is.” you eyed him with a hint of curiosity. Why was that thing so important to him? He reached out and took the thing into his hand to eye it before he mumbled “It’s a core”. His tone was…condescending. You could tell that he wasn’t impressed by the fact that you did absolutely nothing to understand what it was for in the first place. You coughed up a little air to cover up the embarrassment creeping up on you and nodded. He continued, “Did you run into trouble?”. His head shifted, indicating that he was, probably?, looking at you. “Well” you started, scratching your head, unsure whether or not you should lie about how much you had actually struggled “some here and there. It was pretty guarded.” He simply nodded before he shifted his attention back to the core at hand. “Dismissed.” You did a small courtly bow before turning to leave his office. You took a deep breath as soon as the door closed behind you. That went…okay. Not as bad as you thought it might. You exhaled the air and shook your head. 

❦

The past few days had been a blur but the one thing that caught your attention was the way your superior had been switching his demeanor every now and then. He went from being calculated and calm to giggly and a little crazed. It was so weird. The shift was never dramatic but it was enough to make a grown man uncomfortable. And you weren’t the only one who noticed. Sometimes you could hear the soldiers whispering, always wondering and fantasizing about the reason for his behavioral change. Though, they spun the regular odd stories that sounded almost fanatical, so you paid them not much mind. 

You were walking around the Docks when you caught a glimpse of the Doctor on his little boat. As if he had sensed your presence his mask matched your gaze and he waved you over immediately. If your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you, he was smiling the smile that graced his features every now and then. An odd grin did he have. You sighed but made a point to not let it show on your expression before you walked towards the bridge. You had stepped foot on it and taken a solid two steps on deck before the boat started to move. Instinctively your hands took hold of the railing. Huh. It seemed like you were done around here. You looked towards the Docks as the ship slowly brought distance between itself and the port. The last thing you saw was a woman dressed in white and a thing floating next to her as they watched you sail away. 

❦

The journey had been pretty boring. It was just you, some fatui soldiers and Dottore and no one was doing much for morale. You could’ve sworn that you once read something about pirates and how they always made sure to include entertainment on long journeys to ensure the mental well being of their crew. Well, this boat had no such policy. No one ever said a word and if they did then only in murmurs. Some of the soldiers just seemed on edge by the Doctor's presence, others just seemed uninterested. You were just bored. 

It took a few days of being on the boat before you finally managed to convince a few soldiers to play cards with you. The day had been nice, the waves played in calm rythms and while the sun was out it wasn’t grilling you alive. Multiple soldiers had moved to the deck and were actually starting to enjoy themselves. You sat among them, in the midst of three soldiers, playing a round of OOH. The rules were pretty simple. You had to slap cards on the table and if you threw the right one you had to yell OOH. You had trouble remembering who came up with that. The soldier next to you had just slapped his cards on the table and was about to let out a glorious “OOH” when Dottore passed your table. As if on command, all four of you kept still with held breath as he passed by. Not only was it unusual to see the man outside of his quarters, it was also obvious that something wasn’t right. He was emanating a weird aura and it almost looked like he was vibrating. It was so odd..Everyone could tell that something was off. And suddenly, as if someone had struck him, the blue haired man crumbled into pieces adorned by dust.

It felt like everything stood still. Everyone's eyes were focused on the spot the man had been standing in. For a minute not even the waves uttered a word. Then chaos broke out and spread like a wildfire. Every third soldier on deck started yelling and accusing the other of treason. All you could do was stare at the crumbled pieces lying on the floor. What was going on? Did he just evaporate- The only thing that finally pulled you out of your shock was a chair that launched past your head. As if awoken by a splash of cold water you shot up from your seat and ducked away into your cabin while you tried to not get into the punchline of a soldier. You figured someone should stop and calm them down but you also figured that it wasn’t going to be you, so instead you locked your door and sat down on your bed. Blurring out the sound of the fight was easy but figuring out what event had just taken place was a hard one. To you it did look like he…died? And an even bigger question, if he had died, what was the cause of death?

❦

The rest of the trip had been awfully awkward and uncomfortable. Even more so than it had been before. After all, your superior had just disintegrated into thin air, leaving the rest of you without a leader. Of course the soldiers manned up, the fight hadn’t gone on for too long but the tension had been on edge ever since.

After the incident the tales about the Doctor had only grown even more ambiguous and fanatical in spirit. Some soldiers uttered rumors about a hitman, others blamed the gods, a fraction wondered if he simply had a stroke and a really small percentage told verses about his life potion juice running out. You paid no mind to them but did in fact wonder along with many: Who would have to pay for the sin of Dottore vanishing? Returning to his facility and having to say that you lost the second Harbinger sounded awfully insane.

So imagine how surprised you and your fellows had been when the man who welcomed you back at the facility docks had been none other than Dottore himself. He stood there in all of his glory, waiting for everyone to see him before he turned around and went back inside. He didn’t take the time to answer questions and everyone was ordered back to work. So all you could do was return to work, everyone feeling dumbfounded and exhausted. All of that ruckus for nothing.

❦

Days went by quite uneventful. The only thing of note you found out was the fact that it had been a known fact, and not a crazy tale, that the Doctor could, in fact, multiplicate himself. You also learned that he had apparently given those segment things up, so to say, which resulted in his copies “passing away”. No one of the attending boat crew had to die for their sins that day. 

You had just thrown on your clothes, ready to face another hard day of making sure everyone was staying hydrated, when you were called into Dottores’ office. You wondered, like any other time it happened, why would he? But you shrugged it off, nodded to the informant and proceeded to make your way to the Doctor’s office (HA). 

You knocked on the door. A low “come in” came in response. You opened the door, stepped inside and made sure to close the door before you walked fully into the room. Your eyes landed on the man sitting at his desk. He had one foot placed on his knee and his head placed on his hand while he held something in his free hand. 

“Sit” It was a clear order that you followed by taking a seat on the free chair on the opposing side. With less distance between you, you could see that he was holding the core that you had retrieved for him weeks ago. “It’s useless” he said before he slammed the thing on the table. He slid it over to you harshly enough for it to make a nasty squeaking noise. He retracted his hand from the object and leaned back into his chair. 

You had your hands in your lap and went stiff in your seat, staring at the core. Were you supposed to give an answer to that? You directed your gaze towards Dottore who was looking at you as if he was waiting for something. You choked down a little spit and answered “Why?”. Clearly you lacked in the thoughtful response department. He let out a sigh “It’s not powered. It doesn’t turn on. It’s useless”. You blinked at him and tried to shoot an apologetic smile “My bad. Is there something I can do to help with that?”. You weren’t sure if you read him right but he seemed to be somewhat satisfied with your answer. Or at the very least it looked like he accepted it as a valid one.

“Nothing you could do right now. I will call for you if that changes.” You nodded but he continued without wasting much time “Get me a coffee”. Taken off guard you let out a surprised “What?”. It took you a long second to remember your place and added “What kind?”. His short lived answer was “Just coffee.” before he waved you out.

You stood up so fast that you almost knocked your knee into the table. But you caught yourself and hurried out of his office and into the kitchen. The whole process of the art of coffee making went past you like a wind. You were used to the task but not to the receiver. Why were you suddenly on coffee duty for the Doctor? It was so odd. Him having an assistant like that had been rare. It was also odd that you had never seen the man as much as you had ever before over the course of the past few weeks. If you had to guess you’d say you’d have seen him like twice a year before that, and that for multiple years. Now you had even seen him die. Well, technically. You took a long exhausted breath while you rubbed your hand on your forehead. It was all so much, especially considering that being Dottores direct assistant probably carried much more weight and consequences with it than just being his subordinate's subordinate. With another deep breath you tried to ground yourself. The thought of having to spend less time with the fanatical workers around you didn’t seem all that bad at least. You took the cup of “just coffee” from the stove and made your way back, careful not to spill any.

He took the coffee without another word, only dismissing you with a wave of his hand. 

❦

Ever since that day you had been in and out of Dottores office on a regular basis. At first it was delivering coffee, then it was messages and then it turned into you running medical files from one room to another and sorting through various of his documents. You could say that the job sounded important but most of the things you sorted through looked quite boring. Of course you never looked past page one but still, most of the headlines and titles sounded like they were about various diseases and financials, so really really really boring. 

You had just put a ton of medical files into chronological order (the Doctor seemed so tidy and clean, why was it such a mess?) when you heard footsteps approaching. By the way they sounded, you could guess that it was the man himself walking into the room. You had memorized the pattern of his footsteps so well, you guessed right almost all the time. Prepared for the interaction you turned around and greeted the man with a bow of your head. He nodded in return and motioned for you to come with him. Then he turned around and walked out of the room. You, of course, followed suit, by now being used to following his silent orders without question. 

You walked with him all the way back to his office, only to be met inside by the man you had mentally deemed the most annoying man you had ever had the displeasure of meeting. Pantalone, the absolute chaotic man of unreasonably high expectations of the world and an unreasonably high drive to start yapping about it. You suppressed an eye roll at the way he greeted you with his fake little smile and his fake little wave and instead greeted him with a fake little smile and a fake little wave of your own. You figured both of you were aware that you detested each other. Dottore paid no mind to the interaction and placed himself behind his desk. He did not sit down but instead stood behind his chair. Pantalone made no move to sit down himself and stood across on the other side of the table, not even glancing at the chair placed before him. You crossed your arms and stood off to the sides. You would've been annoyed at their stupid nonverbal petty fight over who’s cooler, if you hadn’t been wondering about why you were even here in the first place. Sure, Dottore had wild ideas and weird tasks for you but their importance was never as high as listening in on two harbingers. 

The man grinned a half crazed grin towards Pantolini and said “Let’s talk business”. And thus the most boring two hours of your life had begun.

Not only did you not understand more than half of the things the two men mentioned and argued about, you had also started to feel your heel painfully pushing into your leg. No matter what, you would never ever get used to standing around for such a long amount of time, especially not when that time was filled with awkward silence on your side and a strong yearning to step outside the room. Dottore had just been muttering down some reasoning when Pantalone cut him off. “This is not a risk worth taking. Think it through some more and then call for me again. As of now, I am not on board.” With those words he turned, gave you a courtesy fakey smile and sauntered out of the room. You watched him close the door with distaste. You did not stare for long as a sigh caught your ear and a loud metal clunking on wood directed your attention back to the Doctor. Your eyes wandered to his face and…you were looking at Dottores face. You were looking at Dottores' face. Yₒᵤ wₑᵣₑ ₗₒₒₖᵢₙg ₐₜ Dₒₜₜₒᵣₑₛ' fₐcₑ. You could not help but let a gasp leave your lips. It took much out of you to close your mouth in an orderly fashion. His eyes met yours. Much too enamored with his eyes and the burning red color of them, you failed to recognize the irritated expression on his features. He was staring daggers into your soul. 

You came back to your senses by rapidly blinking the embarrassment off your face. 

“He’s insufferable,” he muttered. You nodded in agreement. You didn’t listen enough to know what had bothered him about the man this time but you did overall agree with the statement. “Greedy, greedy, greedy man” he continued to mumble as he slid his mask to the side of the table before he sat down on his chair “Coffee”. You nodded again and hurried off into the kitchen. You were used to getting orders in short sentences now. He knew you knew what he meant seventy percent of the time and he knew that you actually had the courage to ask if you didn’t. Sure, he didn’t hold you to the standards of a genius but he held you to the standard of being honest and.. pretty normal. Which he found had always been hard to find, being the man that he was. 

❦

Days had passed and you were seeing less and less of your coworkers. In turn you had spent much more time at the side of Dottore. You were still in your position of being his assistant. Nothing bad had happened to you ever since, contrary to some peoples’ belief, and you were even starting to have some sort of conversations with the blue haired man. It wasn’t all too much compared to general standards but in Dottores’ standards it was quite a lot. Though it was almost never a conversational exchange. Sometimes he just asked you a question that you had time to think about for the entire day and other times you made the mistake of asking him about one little thing he may take interest in only for him to go on a tangent about said thing for hours. He gave you access to so much knowledge and you disregarded half of it. Not that you didn’t care at all. You just couldn’t remember most of the things he said. You would've had to have some sort of degree in math and science to follow most of his monologues. But you liked listening to him. He had a unique voice and you enjoyed the sound of it. 

He himself loved to talk about his interests, especially when talking about them made him seem like a smart man. Which it did. Most of the time. Sometimes, when you tried to listen and understand what he was getting at, he sounded so smart and eloquent one second, only for him to throw in some wild theories the next second, all while using the vocabulary of a madman. He was either serious or he enjoyed confusing you on purpose. Neither would surprise you. 

You had also learned that, while yes the man seemed somewhat put together, he was indeed a little crazy as people had said. Both intentionally and subconsciously. Most of the time he tried to gaslight you into thinking he was normal but sometimes he couldn’t hide his little grin that reached his eyes in a crazy light whenever he thought a bit too hard about surpassing the gods. Which, oh right, you also found was a fair factor for you to deem him as at least unhinged in spirit. You sometimes thought back to the tales the people had spun about him and while you could see now why they had gained such popularity through the facility, you did not deem them to be fair assumptions about Dottore. He was odd and fairly annoying at times but not creepy. You respected him, of course, but sometimes you felt like you were a rich prince's butler, not the subordinate of a “mad and creepy” genius. 

All of these thoughts and more were rushing through your head while you were once again watching Dottore fly around his lab. He was yapping about some nectar (or something?) while he played around with some chemicals. Or as he would call it, “conducted experimental research”. You were just off to the side, watching him swirl around while listening to his voice. Nothing else occupied your mind. Just you, Dottore and your thoughts in one room. 

Dottore on the other hand, had sensed that you had been absent minded for a while. After he had started to talk about the process of mashing up cashews into soup, he knew with certainty that you weren’t paying attention to his words anymore. Yet your eyes were fixed on him. He still had your attention and that pleased him enough to keep yapping about whatever came to his mind. 

❦

There was one day you remembered vividly. It could’ve easily been a boring day, easy to be forgotten and mushed in memory with all the other days. But the universe and all the stars that resided over you did not like that idea.

You had brought Dottore his seventh cup of coffee that day. A small voice in your head reminded you that more than five cups a day would be too much caffeine for one person but the last time you voiced those thoughts in the Doctors’ presence, he broke a pen. So you figured you wouldn’t do that again. The man had been on edge the entire day, brooding over something he disagreed with. You guessed that it had something to do with Panini but decided not to inquire about it further. You had never been on the receiving end of Dottores’ anger and you liked it to stay that way. His eyes were fixed on his desk and yours were fixed on his. He had stopped wearing his mask around you more frequently. Only when he needed you to focus on something else than his eyes did he put it on. And it worked. 

Now he was bare faced and you were busy watching him, sitting on the chair in front of his desk and letting time pass by with great calm when he muttered “What’s the craziest thing you would do?”. So it was one of those days. You were distracted and answered with half of your mind intact. “You.” The questions he asked were always phrased somewhat simple minded but you liked to think about your answₑᵣₛ… Everything in your body stood still for a moment. Even your heart acted still, waiting for you to process your answer. The more the realization came through, the more your eyes widened. “ᵒʰ” the sound that left your lips was barely audible. You looked at Dottore and your eyes met his. He certainly looked pleased with your answer, the anger that had distorted his features before had resided. He looked… well definitely not as offended as you think he could potentially have been. 

Initially he figured you’d come up with an interesting answer based on creativity, one that could help him take his mind off of things, not the quick unthoughtful one he had received. He could’ve argued that he didn’t like to be called crazy. But then again, who was he to argue now that you had helped him change the topics that had been plaquing mind?

❦

The grin that had plastered itself on Dottores’ features after your simple minded answer followed you into your dreams longer than just one night. The image of it sat deep in your mind and left you to wonder. It didn’t make him look cheerful nor did it make him look intimidating. The first adjective you would plaster on it would’ve been “desirable” but you felt odd just thinking the thought. You shook your head and stared at the ceiling. The only sound that hollowed through the room was an odd whirring noise that could be heard throughout most parts of the building. There was no clock in sight but you didn’t need one to know that you had been lying half awake throughout most of the night again. Which Dottore had been entirely at fault of. His grin was one thing but the man had assigned you to a new room as well. It was closer to his office and further away from the bustle of the facility. He successfully kept you away from the loud bustling of the other workers. In order to keep you focused or whatever. But you needed more time to get accustomed to the lack of voices that had always trailed past your door well past midnight, creating an unwelcome but familiar soundwave to fall asleep to. Without the ruckus outside everything had suddenly been too silent, making way for more room in your head which it could now fill with annoyingly loud thoughts that pestered you through the night. You groaned and pulled your pillow over your face after yet another mental image of that stupid harbinger. “How annoying” you muttered into your pillow before you rolled around to try and find a better sleeping position. 

❦

While you had spent your time going through countless sleepless nights, it seemed that Dottore had not been affected at all. You hadn’t really been counting on him losing his shit over your previous comment but it was still a humbling experience to see him so overly calm and collected, no matter how deep of a look he took into your eyes. 

Honestly, nothing had changed at all. Except for your eye bags of course but you had only yourself to blame for that. Neither your job nor Dottores’ attitude had changed. 

Not until you had entered his lab one day, not without invitation of course, only to see him assemble something that looked like a…marionette? You figured that’s what it had been based on his older clones. You never knew the difference before the incident on the boat but since then you had once caught a glimpse of one singular unfinished clone lying around the lab. You hadn’t taken a closer look at it but the vague image of it still resided in your memory and it fit the image of the half assembled doll you had laid your eyes on that day. The Doctor, who had been standing next to the marionette, waved you over. Once you came close, he immediately put you to work, shoving various body parts and limbs into your arms before informing you about all the places you needed to attach them to.

While you had hardly been able to keep up with his instructions, you didn’t fail to notice that the doll did not look much like Dottore. Of course, it had no head but still you were sure it carried little to no resemblance. No, the doll did not resemble Dottore at all, you just couldn’t figure out who it it looked like instead. It seemed awfully familiar but you couldn’t put your finger on who exactly it reminded you of. 

Nontheless you focused on your work, assembling the limbs with great caution.

Not once did you question his intentions. Any and all information you received, he had laid out on his own accord. And while yes, some might argue that that came from a lack of intelligence on your end, he felt like it came from a place of trust instead. You did not question his intentions because they did not seem a threat to you. All they were to you was just another task, another part of being his assistant. 

He used to think he’d appreciate it if you had a more curious nature but after some time had passed the little curiosity you exhibited had been more than enough for him. You only asked questions when you were curious, never just to fill the silence. Sure, it had been disappointing to see you not take interest in his creations at all but he enjoyed knowing that you didn’t care. He enjoyed the authenticity. He had craved it ever since he was young, ever since people had started lying to him. But you never did. You never lied. 

❦

More time had passed, although you had no way of telling how much time it had been exactly. You had quickly lost count of the days and never cared enough to ask. You had not seen any coworkers at all ever since you moved rooms but you honestly could barely care less. The last time you had crossed paths with one, it was a woman, one of those fanatics, she had whispered warnings to you. Warnings about the Doctor and his weird habits. You had half a mind to agree with her that, yes, the man had the oddest habits indeed, but you had mentally clocked out once she had started to mention his unstoppable desire to peel off the first layers of fat his victims carried under their skin as, according to her, that was what had granted him immortality. After that revelation you figured that you did not care if you would never come across any of your coworkers ever again. You understood why they were thrown off by their superior. Of course you did, you had spent most of your time with him by now, he was odd for sure.  But you would never get used to their spooky tales about his person. Safe to say, you would gladly live without them. 

The more you grew accustomed to your new life, the more satisfaction he experienced. He enjoyed watching you settle into your new life and he enjoyed your willingness to solve whatever problem he threw your way. Of course he would have to be careful not to overstep the line of using your talents to his advantage but weirdly enough he didn’t feel the need to do so. Your presence made him feel pleased enough as it was. To his surprise, he found that he did not want to jinx that. He liked having you close, without having to use an ounce of force for once. 

You stayed out of your own will and he found peace in that. 

❦

It had been months since he had recruited you into his close vicinity and he hadn’t regretted it once. He found that you were reliable, smart and talented with your hands. One time, it had been a few days ago, he had watched, mask placed on his features, as you carefully knitted another marionettes' limbs together. He found the way you moved your delicate fingers satisfying to watch. When you were done with your stitches he had carefully taken your hand in his own and moved it closer to his face as he inspected it. “Close enough”. He didn’t mean to say it out loud but he figured it didn’t matter. One look at you let him know that you were so distracted by his action, you clearly did not care about anything beyond that. He gave a sly grin as an answer to your awestruck expression. Then he placed a delicate kiss on your fingers before letting go of your hand. He proceeded to not waste more time on more unnecessary gestures and focused on inspecting the marionette instead. You had done excellent work on the limbs, much as he had expected. “Wait in my office” he mumbled the order absent mindedly while he was gazing down at the doll. He watched you leave through the corner of his eyes. Then, when you had finally closed the door of his lab, he picked up the marionette and carried it to a closet that he had kept locked for no one but him to see.

He opened it and placed the marionette next to the other few that had been in there. He hadn’t perfected any of them yet but he knew he was getting closer. Of course, the goal had initially been for him to reach higher levels of humanity but after he had lost all his process he felt inclined to be bored at the thought of doing it all over again with the exact same recipe to follow. But replicating someone else, well you, now that sounded interesting. Analyzing you had been a fun activity for him over the past weeks. You had many good qualities, good morals and a cute face. Which personally he did not care for but it did cross his mind once, so he figured that would be a popular opinion among others as well. Overall he felt that your presence, may it be through more individuals, would not cause as much terror as his own always had. 

He closed the closet and locked it tight. Then he took off his mask and stepped towards the door to his office. He had already found out so much about the way you answered and thought about things, yet he felt inclined to find out even more. 

You had been standing in his office for a minute or two. It bored you but recently you had found that most things did. After the minutes had passed the door opened and the Doctor came walking in, carrying a sense of purpose in his steps. The door closed easily behind him as he disregarded his mask on a nearby shelf, only for him to step towards you. You didn’t have much time to formulate any coherent thoughts or figure out a reaction to anything, as he had simply waltzed over, cupped your face in his hands and proceeded to place a calculated kiss on your lips. 

Ever since that day, all the barriers of distance that may have stood between you two before were gone. Instead you had only spent more time at his side now and he had welcomed that change with a multitude of questions to ask you. Of course, sometimes he still digressed into monologues of his own, but he had found a liking in listening to your thought out answers and views as well. It surprised you but you didn’t mind. The only struggle you found with that had been the lack of stories you had in mind whenever you thought to answer with something from your life. Most of the stories you knew were about him after all and even those you barely remembered.

He seemed pleased with you either way though, so you figured it didn't really matter. 

And with that, unbeknownst to you, he had found the perfect subject for his studies. You on the other hand had found solace in your work and his presence now, never wasting a thought on anything that didn't have anything to do with your new routine. 

❦ - le fin

I’m thinking their voicelines about each other would be among the lines of like

You about him:

“The Doctor? Oh *ahem*, yes I would consider him a trustworthy companion. Don’t give other peoples’ comments about him much thought. He’s pretty normal, all things considered. I would know, I’ve worked with him for a while now. Anyway, I should take my leave now. Good luck. What?.. Oh no, i can't stay, I'm really busy. I'm sorry. See you”

Him about you:

“Yes, they have been much help to me over the past few years….What? You want to see them? They're busy, try again another time… A message?....No, you can’t take them with you. Find someone else to do your work for you. Now leave.” 

[jaeming29]

…this has to be the weirdest genshin related rabbit hole i’ve climbed down

And no, it’s not nsfw.

A while back, I made a post about the Commedia Dell’arte, which inspired the genshin’s fatui. Well, I just went down an even more niche and nerdy rabbit hole today, russian music.

I found a piece of semi-classical russian music called Shostakovich’s second waltz. If you listen to it, it VERY OBVIOUSLY is what inspired the music for fontaine. But here’s the thing: Shostakovich didn’t even make it. His friend Atovmyan did. But Atovmyan’s legacy is so eclipsed by Shostakovich, that Shostakovich got the credit. I can’t even find anything about the life of Atovmyan.

But HERE’S where things get crazy. Shostakovich was a movie composer that liked to work with Atovmyan. So, this waltz was written for a movie called “The First Echelon.” And The First Echelon was directed by a guy named MIKHAIL.

Coincidence? Probably, Mikhail a common russian name. But MAN is it weird.

Also, funny side note: This piece of music is so freaking confusing to find. It was not only a miscredited work, it is also mislabeled a lot as “Suite for Jazz Orchestra No. 2.” It’s actually the “Suite for Variety Orchestra No. 1.”

[bestworstcase]

This is probably the weirdest thing to say, but I feel like you'd have a field day with Five Nights at Freddy's (fnaf). The "unsolvable" and "badly written" game series (hint: it's neither of those things). Your RWBY takes are very fun, I can only imagine what you'd think of something like FNAF since I think your analysis skills would really flourish there. Understandable if it's not your thing though lol

i know nothing abt fnaf other than i’ve never seen anything that piques my interest but speaking of video games and unsolvable lore–

cultist simulator + book of hours. THE THINGS I KNOW. THE THEORIES I HAVE—

i need to start posting things on tumblr it’s just .difficult. to put everything together in a coherent way but THE JOURNEY goes something like

the nocturnal branch/suppression bureau is a cult of the calyptra.

calyptra is the velvet, the mare-in-the-tree, and the wolf-fucking-divided.

EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT THE INTERCALATE IS WRONG.

eva dewulf is a name of the wolf-divided btw.

the house of the moon is/was the boundary separating nowhere from the wood, like the hull of a ship. it was torn open and flooded during the lithomachy so the woods is effectively the surface of nowhere now :)

the god-from-stone called the wind and the nowhere hour called snow ate each other and became the wolf, and the white door is twinned to the peacock door, and this is what caused the lithomachy.

the elegiast and the beachcomber are gods-from-flesh who were names of the wind, in much the same way that the solar hours were names of the sun-in-splendor prior to the intercalate.

<- if you’re not a cultsim/boh person the one piece of information you need to understand exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes is that “the god-from-stone called the wind” is not an entity that has even been definitively stated to EXIST but i can back all of this up with textual evidence.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello! Do you have any recommendations for ttrpgs like Kentucky Route Zero?

THEME: Kentucky Route Zero

Hello, I looked up Kentucky Route Zero for the first time thanks to your ask and I understand why you’d want to find a game that replicates it to some degree. Let’s establish what elements of KRZ I’m focusing on when providing recommendations.

The game is modern, and feels transient in some way.

The game offers a subtle or unsubtle critique of capitalism.

The game allows for magical realism, in that odd things are accepted by the characters as fact, or disregarded entirely. This is used to draw attention to the strange and might even highlight abuses of power.

The game allows you to contribute to the lore, but characters still feel to some extent that their choices won’t take them where they want to go.

Now, the games I’ve got for you don’t necessarily have all of these elements written in, but I’m suggesting them as avenues that are more likely to point you in this direction.

Over the Edge, by Atlas Games.

During your stay with us, please remember that Liberty is Job One, Disarmament Means Peace, It's Polite to Speak English, and, of course, Paranormal Activity is perfectly legal.Thank you for your consent.

The Edge is the weirdest city in the world. Get into trouble. Question your place in the crazed multiverse. Transcend mortal limits. Join a cult. Fight a baboon. Along the way, you might find out who really controls humanity. Unless, of course, you've been working for Them all along.

Over the Edge describes itself as an alternate reality; there are otherworldly entities, large conspiracies, psychic powers, etc. Characters follow “Hollywood” reality: they exist at the culmination of plot-relevant world elements, interacting directly with the conspiracies existing underneath the surface. You are playing a typical protagonist. This means that while playing this game, you are likely to run into pulp-action territory, which might not be exactly what we’re going for here, but what I think this game might really do well is place you in a setting where things are just a little bit off from normal. One of the pieces of art in the Quickstart is of a lady walking her pet hyena: that tells me that we’re probably going to have hefty amounts of Magical Realism in this game.

Midnight Roads, for World of Darkness, by White Wolf.

The roads are lovely, dark and deep…

There are things in the world that no laws account for – things that bestow blessings no man remembers or curses for slights long past. But the things, they do not forget. They wait for the right hand to fall upon them, the right eyes to see their glory, the right heart to recognize their power.

World of Darkness is a long-standing horror roleplaying game originally published by White Wolf. Currently the system Midnight Roads is built for is actually obsolete - having been replaced by the newer Chronicles of Darkness - but the advice and guidance in Midnight Roads is still solid. It focuses on tying real-world fears to supernatural phenomena, and includes a number of example antagonists that make the blank stretches of open road across the United States feel alien and terrifying. Even if you don’t run a game in this system, I highly recommend checking out the supplement for inspiration.

Apocalypse Roadtrip, by Mynar Lenahan.

Apocalypse Roadtrip is a 34-page Forged In The Dark game for 2-5 players about normal people finding their way after the world has ended. Navigating their way past roaming Kaiju, military bombings, otherworldly cryptids, UFO fleets, and other survivors (friendly and not), the characters work hard to achieve their goals and, ultimately, make some changes in their world.

This game is great if you’re looking for that perpetual on-the-road feeling, for transient characters who don’t have a good place to call home. It’s less about the horrors of late-stage capitalism, and is more suited to stories that embrace oddness, especially in a settings where Kaiju, cryptids, and aliens all exist.

If you want to make the weirdness normalized, push the timeline forward from what is established in the book, to a point where all of these events have become old hat for folks - if the aliens and cryptids aren’t weird or strange, perhaps what is weird is how one specific Cryptid keeps entering the chicken coop and doesn’t seem to eat any of the chickens. Or perhaps the government has confiscated a piece of alien technology, but the business owner who found it isn’t acting the same anymore. Your characters will probably find themselves doing odd jobs as the move from one place to another - whether or not they uncover a larger story is probably up to you.

Absurdia, by Quinn Majeski.

Absurdia is an absurdist modern fantasy roleplaying game about the inane hilarity and understated horror of everyday life. Inspired by works of absurd humor, surreal horror, and literary nonsense like Welcome to Night Vale, Alice in Wonderland, Gravity Falls, and the Twilight Zone, Absurdia is an opportunity to indulge in the surreal and outlandish while subverting the absurdity of modern society.

This game takes place in a strange and surreal town of your own making. It's Powered by the Apocalypse, which means much of the direction of the story will unfold as you play, with staggered successes on anything that requires you to roll - this means that any given action is likely to give you a little bit of what you're looking for while also providing obstacles that you didn't expect. It's also well primed for a magical realist kind of atmosphere, since the abnormal and supernatural might be part of the everyday, such as it is for the residents of Night Vale. The designer, Quinn, is excellent at running games that always keep the play group on their toes, and I expect this game designed by them is much the same.

Liminal Horror (and supplements), by Goblin Archives

Liminal Horror brings adaptable modern horror to TTRPGs. It is a rules-lite, fail forward system that leverages creative problem solving in order to create memorable experiences at the table. Players act as 'investigators' navigating a modern world full of terrible and unknowable horrors.

I’m recommending Liminal Horror not just because it does an excellent job of building suspense and making your characters feel less-than-powerful, but also because it’s got a lot of modules and add-ons that help you customize your game. Swineheart Motel, by Kill Jester, is a cosmic horror adventure set in a roadside motel. Tunnels in White, by MeatCastle GameWare, places an old corporation front and centre as a suspicious entity disappearing locals. The Bloom, by Goblin Archives, is about a small town that is hiding something, and seems to be losing people at an alarming rate. You can also tweak the premise of the game if you want to make your characters indentured to their employer, or freelancers just trying to make ends meet.

If you want to see more Liminal Horror options, you can check out the Tales from The Void, a game jam for Liminal Horror modules!

Hopes & Dreams by Fari RPGS (René-Pier Deshaies).

Hopes & Dreams is a rules-lite tabletop role-playing game where you play as young adults who want to make a difference in a world that won’t let them. Government officials are corrupted, your leaders are broken, and the future looks bleak.  Play in this original grunge industrial fantasy setting where you and your friends haven’t abandoned hope yet. You still have dreams of what life could be, and are willing to fight for it.

Hopes & Dreams has a lot of potential to give you a taste of Kentucky Route Zero, in the hopefulness present as a mechanic. Dreams & Nightmares are goals and tracks that hit off at a certain point and are guaranteed to shift the story in what might feel like moments that your character can’t control. Fill your Dream? The world changes for the better. Fill your Nightmare? The world changes for the worse. The original game is industrial fantasy but I can see you using the SRD to make a game that is cyberpunk, modern dystopia, or an alternative Kentucky where Consolidated Power is buying up your debt so that they can get free labour.

If you want to get a bit of a peek into the bones of Hopes & Dreams from the point of view of the designer, you can check out this review by Junk History, which includes an interview with René-Pier Deshaies.

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for tagging @jrooc

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I published my first fic in September of last year!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.

psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused

its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk

um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit

13. What made you choose your username?

tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Writer asks -

@bittercape tagged me in this weeks ago and I’m finally doing the thing!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

215 works...

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

976,222

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Marvel and DC lately, but I’ve also written a significant amount of Supernatural and Criminal Minds.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Brains Over Beauty (SPN/CM) 

Spitting Venom (SPN/CM) 

The One With The Pottery Barn Couch (DC/Marvel) 

Quitting (SPN/CM) 

Origin Stories (SPN/CM)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Almost always.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I usually just do angsty endings that are on par with the angst level of the rest of the fic, I guess — I try to end with some amount of resolution or at least hope, and so I rarely think of my endings as angsty. But probably Come Haunt Me.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sweet Home Was Home. The whole story was about sorta… figuring out what happened after the camera stopped rolling. And figuring out what “happily ever after” would look like for them. So it was the fic that I felt was most important for it to have a happy ending and to have a full resolution to all the emotional threads. I really love the ending — I love the way it mirrors the beginning scene, and I love how well it sums up the ways in which the characters have grown, and I think it gives them exactly the full, meaningful lives that they deserve. It’s not just a love story and the ending reflects that.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not particularly.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

Yes. So many kinds. But usually the “rough sex as catharsis” and “kink as therapy” kind.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Ha. Yes. They’re my favorite thing to write!

Weirdest ones were probably This Tall To Ride (Sam Winchester/Frank Iero, because that height difference is fucking hilarious), Daisies (Sam Winchester/Harry Styles on acid at Bonnaroo), and Four Super-Soldiers and Tony Stark Walk Into A Bar… (in which Slade Wilson and Soldier Boy are in the cryo tanks in Siberia).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve never looked.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I’m aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Marshmallows, with @noxnthea

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Winterhawk. There is something so fundamentally good and healthy about the way these two fit together, no matter which aspect of their dynamic you bring out, and there are so many - they work as grumpy/sunshine, as murder husbands, as snarky disasters... more importantly, they’re two characters who would be able to both accept each other unconditionally and help each other grow, and that is my favorite thing to read.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don’t have any right now! My only current WIP is Map of My Heart. The others have been shelved but I either don’t have interest in finishing them or I absolutely think I will finish them, no doubts involved.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Putting the reader in the character’s emotional state, showing character growth/development, and writing relationships that are ultimately healthy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes and building suspense. Which is why I'm doing this instead of working on my fic! Oops.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I feel meh about it? I am not a fluent speaker in any other language, so I’d have to use some sort of translator, which tends to miss nuance and feel stiff, which is never what I want in dialogue. Instead I tend to use italics to convey that they’re speaking another language but write the lines themselves in English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Lords of Dogtown. On fucking Quizilla. I am a Fandom Old.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

A Muscle the Size of Your Fist. If anybody wanted to get to know me really well, get to know what I believe and what I value and how I see the world, I’d point them to that. But it’s also just well written; I’m proud of the unique character voices and the way their narrative arcs all fit together. They all make each other better over the course of the story.

Tagging (with apologies if you've already done this) @kangofu-cb @stunudo @i-know-how-my-story-ends @carcrash429 @betrayedbycinnamon

[taylor-on-your-dash]

STAY STAY STAY IS THE AIRPORT NAPKIN SONG WRITTEN IN JANUARY 2010

So. Yeah. Hear Me Out. Ok so, first of all, Stay Stay Stay is copyrighted as being written in 2010.

As we know from the Lover Journals, Taylor finished Speak Now on June 16, 2010 and then didn't write anything for 6 months due to a writer's block, until she wrote All Too Well (soundcheck rant version) in December 2010. But let's take a step back.

On January 13, 2010, Taylor posts this on MySpace: "Thank you January. I have had this month off. I have walked on snow-covered grass and discovered new coffee shops and laughed hysterically with friends about things that probably weren’t technically funny. I’ve written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother’s birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long."

So when the next record, Speak Now was out, obviously people were curious to know which song this was. The most popular theory was Back To December but it can't be (you'll see why in a minute).

On May 20, 2011, Taylor says: The weirdest place I have ever written a song is probably in an airport, and I got an idea so fast that I just had to run to the bathroom at the airport, grab a paper towel and write lyrics on the paper towel," she said. "I still have it. I still have it in a box in my room."

On September 1, 2011, Taylor mentions the Napkin Song again:

So, it's not Back To December cause the song was obviously already out in 2011.

She said: It's not out yet. It seems like she has plans to release the song on TS4. If you look at the Red Credits, Stay Stay Stay and State Of Grace were recorded together. Taylor also said that State Of Grace was one of the first songs to have been written for the album, so by extention, Stayx3 was recorded early in the process as well.

To be fair, there's still the possibility of the napkin song being an unrelased song that was dropped when TS4 got a makeover, after all we're still missing like 15 songs and most of them are from 2011, so it makes sense that she didn't want a third 2010 song on the record, but it's also true that Taylor was thinking about this goddamn napkin song.

At this point, she's exactly a week shy of writing Red the song (which turns 13 today, welp), a song which, as we know, expands her vision for the next album, prompting her to bring on Dann Huff to rework Red, Begin Again and Starlight, and then moves to LA to work with Max Martin. And, you know, the rest is history.

[colleybri]

Answer the questions and tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @mosylufanfic :)

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’m relatively unusual here, I think, in that whilst I’ve been writing it since my teens I have had a good twenty year break up until a few months ago. Years ago, I just started writing it for my own pleasure - certainly no internet or easy ways to share it back then. More recently, I can attribute my return to one thing and one thing only: my love of the series Andor. An obsession that came out of nowhere in September 2023 when I watched it for the first time and it resonated with me in a way nothing has come close to in quite some time. After several months of writing various analyses of it I felt the urge to get creative.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Not many - most recently, Andor - obviously - and with the obvious overlap of Rogue One. Going back: I started out on E.T. (early teens then so that will date me accordingly :) ) - moving on to Aliens, The Silence of the Lambs and The X Files. Some novels then too: Narnia and Clive Barker, notably.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

As above, really. I’m in my mid 50s now - which I imagine makes me one of the older ones here. I dabbled most recently in the late 90s, with The Phantom Menace slashfics that were hugely popular back then - one of my friends was a superb writer (her stories were considerably better than the film itself ) and absolutely churned them out on whatever forums were around. They were a wholly new thing to me and I hadn’t even seen the film, but I dabbled a bit anyway :)

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more at the moment, but I’m gradually trying to catch up with the reading. I missed Andor when it was first released and therefore the glut of fics from that time. But I’m getting to know the writers I really like and rediscover my own interests, genre speaking, along the way.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

It’s really hard to compare as I haven’t got much left hanging around from my earlier years, but I would say that with several decades of teaching Lit under my belt now I do care a lot more about characterisation than I ever used to. It used to be all about the plot. I’m finding myself very drawn to subtext-heavy dialogue, internal monologues, drabbles and even poetry - the last being something I never thought I’d touch with a barge pole. I’m not saying I’m any good, just that I enjoy the challenge. That’s the main thing, in fact. These days I’m happy to embrace a challenge rather than shy from it. 

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

That would be what human flesh tastes like. For a Silence of the Lambs fic, obviously. The answer is apparently “pork crossed with beef” so I guess a genuine ragu lasagne would scratch that particular itch if anyone’s curious. 

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

At the moment, as I’m pretty much starting from scratch and trying to find readers, absolutely anything. Probably excluding ‘don’t give up the day job’. 

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Probably the cannibalism thing. Though that’s no doubt more mainstream nowadays…. I haven’t even looked at all the Hannibal (tv series) fics out there. 

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Anything long - the longest thing I ever completed was a 250 page novel but I was 14 at the time and haven’t come close since. Haven’t the stamina these days. Same with reading – I prefer one shots.

10. What is the easiest type?

Missing scenes or scene commentaries - not so much easy as such but probably my favourite forms, so they come relatively easily once I really put my mind to them. I find analytical essays the easiest of all, if I know the text well, but that’s no doubt a teacher-thing. I’ve made myself a regular feature on the Reddit Andor sub, probably to the chagrin of some :)

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Looking at other answers to this one, I’m a bit perplexed. I have an elderly iMac and write on that. Hell, I used to do everything in long hand. Thank God I learned to touch-type. I guess I use Googledocs when forced to use my laptop. I’m fortunate to be semi-retired, so I generally find the time.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Something longer, I guess. Hard to tell. I was and am intimidated by Smutfics, but had a go at a challenge recently and was quite pleased with the result. Not something I’ll be writing often though - not the main event, anyway. Love the buildups, and there’s some really great erotica out there, but I do get pretty stuck using the same vocabulary if I’m not careful. I’ve done a few humorous variations and quite liked those too. I’m British, lived in Bath for many years so like to imagine Austen’s ironic take on sex scenes quite a bit. 

13. What made you choose your username?

Nothing very deep - it’s to do with where I live. I’m a keen birder and Colley is an old West Country (England) word for a blackbird. 

Apologies in advance for tagging you - I’m sure some or all of you have been ‘done’ already! I don’t know a huge range of writers yet and I’m new to Tumblr and Discord. Absolute social media dinosaur as I am. 

Tagging @beladonna02, @ceruleanphoenix7, @faceofpoe, @jake-and-amy-are-married, @vadercat

[christinescupofcoffee]

otps:

Alex and Christine. A girl in a green coat and a long ponytail providing an escape for her bespectacled teacher. My otp for life, like you will have to use a crowbar to pry them from my cold, dead hands and even then you won’t succeed.

Alex and Sam. Artist/fashion designer and guitarist. The one that started it all and the one that gives off more of a “kiss my ass” vibe than Alex and Christine.

Alex and Eric. A very unexpected one but one that’s based out of food and a love of cooking and baking. Another one you’ll have to pry from my cold, dead hands.

Alex and Chuck (Schuldiner). Based off a headcanon I came up with about two summers ago where I thought they could be soulmates given their similarities in appearance (curly hair, cute crooked smiles, steely blue eyes, beautiful bodies; also helps they’re both Jew boys).

Alex and Falk Maria. I’m getting the weirdest “Irishman and Jew” vibe from this (Falk Maria/Christian is German, though, hence why I say it’s weird). But with the sheer amount of kinkery I’ve bestowed upon Alex, and one brief glimpse at the Powerwolf tag, it should make sense that I am drawn to these two.

Kurt and Krist. This has been rolling around in my head since 2012, but I never had the courage to fully explore it. There’s just something about the whole best friend dynamic about them, and the fact Kurt’s gone makes it all the more poignant in my eyes.

James and Richard. Same story here, but further back than that, though. Mates for life, and now one of their own is perhaps living on borrowed time. I think i started thinking of them in 2006 (when I was made aware that my body could produce a rush of feeling)? Thing is I’ve always been ashamed of my feelings that I probably would have been burned at the stake if I even thought of exploring them.

Joey and Lars, believe it or not. They’re more of a platonic pairing, more of a “buddy movie”/Men in Black dynamic, but they’re quite literally why I had so much fun writing now it’s dark.

Andy and Tina (from Quarter After Twelve). This will be elaborated on as the story progresses but Tina and John do cross paths with Andy at some point and feelings do ensue.

ot3s:

Jeremy, Spanakopita, and Zero (from Quarter After Twelve). All I’m going to say about this is hehehe.

Jed, Octavius, and Ahkmenrah. A new one that came about last night at around 6-ish. I’m swamped so I’ll have to finish some wips before I can do anything for these three, but I have written some things down this morning and I’ll have to let it ferment.

[incorrectcoldflashblog]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thank you so much to @kitkatt0430 for tagging me <3

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Well, I got back into Coldflash in a big way a couple years ago, and kind of got frustrated not really seeing anything new in the tag, lol. Desperation is usually my biggest motivator to do anything. If I had unlimited new Coldflash fics coming out, I probably would never have written my own tbh.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just the one. I used to do translations for a different fandom, though, so maybe two depending on if translating counts.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

My own? Only a year and a half. Translating, maybe roughly ten years.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I probably write more now, but you wouldn’t know it because I’m such a slow writer!

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

Oh, I feel like my English has definitely gotten better since I started writing regularly. I always felt obligated to put a little disclaimer at the bottom, like please be nice to me, this isn’t my first language, lol. I feel a little bit more confident about it now (although I still obsessively google every sentence and word).

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I mean, thanks to Chapter 4 of What Happens in Vegas I know now way more than I ever needed to know about tornado sirens, considering we don’t have them in my country, lol. I also ended up doing extensive (and totally pointless) research about the ancient Sumerian city-state of Ur (located in the South of what is now modern-day Iraq), which is where Len/Cold was supposed to be from in my AU where he was a genie. For those who are unaware, Ur fell in about 2000 BC and had a very famous poem written about it. Here is the cheery opening of 11 stanzas of misery:

For the gods have abandoned us

like migrating birds they have gone

Ur is destroyed, bitter is its lament

The country's blood now fills its holes like hot bronze in a mould

Bodies dissolve like fat in the sun. Our temple is destroyed

Smoke lies on our city like a shroud.

blood flows as the river does

the lamenting of men and women

sadness abounds

Ur is no more

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I always appreciate when people point out the parts they liked. But honestly I’m happy for people to comment at all, especially on older fics :)

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I don’t know that anything I’ve written can be considered fringe, lol. I do have a Lisa/Iris WIP, which I assume would be more of a rarepair, but I only have one scene written for it so who knows if I’ll ever finish it. I guess the Genie AU was kind of strange.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Longfics ;-; God, I’ve gained so much respect for people who can do that consistently for 60+ chapters, or over multiple fics in a series. My longfic isn’t even that long, comparatively, and I still feel like I will never get it done.

10. What is the easiest type?

One-shots, my beloved.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

On my laptop. I just use Word and I prefer to write in the morning, which isn’t super ideal because it only leaves me the weekend to really get into it.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I’m too nervous to start more longfics at the moment because I feel like two is my absolute limit but I’d love to be able to write both the TATBILB-inspired fic I had in mind and the Future Fic that I sometimes play around with. I’d have to finish at least one of my longer projects first, or maybe try to get the whole thing written before posting it but I’m usually too impatient to do that!

13. What made you choose your username?

My username is captainicecube and I picked it because it’s roughly how Captain Cold was translated in the French dub. They translated it as Captain Glaçons (Captain Icecubes), which always makes me laugh whenever I think about it because it’s so stupid XD

Tagging @crestfallercanyon @joanthangroff @tiger-in-the-flightdeck @softboydepot and @moriavis

[pfirsichspritzer]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

tagged by @menina89, thank you. Doing this required more introspection than I initially thought, but it was a lot of fun 💕

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I had my first encounter with fanfiction when I was around 12 or 13 and discovered the (no-longer online) site myfanfiction.de. Back then I was really into twilight and so I created an account and started writing (in German). My first story was like 200 - 400 words per chapter and I think I gave up after 5 - 6 chapters. I posted a few more one-shots but honestly, the site was terrible and overly moderated. Two of my stories got banned for apparently being wrongly rated G and that was pretty frustrating. I wrote a few more stories for myself, but during most of high school and university years I only wrote assignments and papers. I stopped reading fanfiction altogether too for a while and only came back to it when discovering fanfiction.net and then ao3. There were so many stories and so much more engagement on those English sites, which was amazing. I did think about writing a few times but I was intimidated by the thought of doing so in English, which is not my mother tongue, so for years I was simply lurking in the shadows.

Then came 2022, which was a very rough year for me and induced a lot of anxiety, so in autumn after a spontaneous idea for a fic, I just started writing again to cope with some of those feelings. I posted the first chapter for the hell of it, but the Rogue One fandom was so nice and encouraging, that I just kept writing. 

The idea for my first story in the Lockwood & Co. fandom was born because I was looking for a specific story I. When I could not find it, I simply wrote it myself. 

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Four fandoms I published something in. Probably one or two more, writing just for myself. 

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

The first fic on my ao3 account was posted October 2022. 

In my teenage years maybe another 4 years ?

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely read. 

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

Writing multi-chapters. I used to lose interest in them pretty quickly. But I’ve actually finished 2 in the last one-and-a-half years, which I am actually kind of proud of. 

Other than that, I like to think that my English has gotten better (I hope) and I am less critical of myself, actually enjoying reading my own stories once in a while. 

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I once went down a rabbit hole researching the Jacobite uprising and the Glencoe massacre, including watching a 1,5 h documentary (for a 1000 word case fic). That was probably the most niche topic. 

Other than that, I often research medical conditions, to not get them completely wrong. I did a lot of research on pregnancy and childbirth, including making a detailed calendar on gestational age and events that should take place. I generally like to make timetables for longer fics, to get the seasons and months right and to not give a month too many days. 😉

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love each and every comment. I maybe tend to reread comments more often of people pointing out things they liked, their favourite part, or swooning over characters. Also, when someone catches a hidden meaning or reference to another chapter, that is really amazing. But honestly, every comment makes my day and puts a huge smile on my face. 🥰

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Probably struggles with fertility. Other than that I think I’m pretty mainstream.

Though, I wrote a Christmas market one-shot set in the city I live in once, which could be considered niche because of the non anglo-american or British setting. 

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

It takes me a long time to write descriptions. Often there is a scene in my head that I want to bring to paper (or computer screen). But then I realize that I lack the vocabulary to formulate the sentences as flowery and beautifully as I’d like. So, I end up googling words for hours. 

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff. I love writing tender scenes between characters. 

But also Angst, I think. Probably because I am a very anxious person. 

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

On my computer. I write in MS word. Then I copy the whole text into google docs, and do the editing there. 

Most ideas come to me while commuting, going for a walk, or showering. So, I either take quick notes on my phone or actually sit down and type it into my laptop, if I have time. Mostly, I end up writing in the evening, but I am actually more productive in the morning (again if there is time) 

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Smut. 

13. What made you choose your username?

I chose it, because I am a microbiologist at heart. It could be argued that Saccharomyces cerevisiae, also known as bakers’ yeast, is one of humanity's oldest production animals. It is also one of the first microorganisms I was able to observe under a microscope and I think the cells look adorable. Apparently, someone else thought so too, because the username was already taken. That’s why I chose Saccharomyces_97

Tagging: @alphacrone @woahpip @oceanspray5 @cate-deriana and @the-biscuit-agreement (I'm terribly late and don't know who has done this before. So sorry, in case of double tag 😉 )