#this is probably the last original audio im gonna post on tumblr

[badgraph1csghost]

You know, when people started singing sea chanteys on TikTok, the corporate feudal state should have realised something was wrong.

And they did.

Those people were sacrificed to the machine for the sake of infinite profits.

[radiorenjun]

Grand announcement ❗❗❗

Yep you read that right and no this is not a joke, unfortunately.

Honestly is it that much of a surprise?

Um I don't know when I'm actually going to post this or if I will post this considering I've been debating on whether i should actually take time off of not. But depending on the date I post this, its either going to be one of two reasons or both.

LETS GO WITH THE POSITIVE ONE FIRST SHALL WE?

First of all, Happy Ramadan! My maids going back to her old village for the holidays so I'm going to have to assist my parents in babysitting more til she gets back. Therefore I will be too busy to post or update. Or maybe my parents plan an unexpected vacation or something and I'll be too busy to communicate with anyone on my phone.

Edit: I take it back my mom fired her when she caught some cigarette ashes in her room today (my maid went back to her village yesterday btw) and now we gonna get a temporary one that comes and goes everyday at the end of Ramadan LMFAOOO more chores for me then

Also, im posting this to just inform everyone I'll be okay and I'll return somewhere in the end of May or the beginning of June considering I promised a few moots to voice call then. Man, it feels weird speaking all serious like this. It feels even weirder that I'm not even using capslock lmfao.

Okay the other reason. Im not really thrilled to think that it's finally drove me up so far i have to take a break from everything.

If you can't tell from how I've been on and off lately uh like my mental health is getting bad. Like really really bad?

I won't go into much details but for safety stuff here's your trigger warning for ED, SH, Depression, Nightmares, etc. If you don't want to read this part you can scroll down until you see some random red statement I'll write later so you can see what I have to say before i leave.

Uh okay where do I start. To sum it all up basically, my mental health is in absolute ruins? At the moment?? Uh... It's been the worst it has been in the past three to four years? I don't know anymore. I can't sleep properly because I keep having nightmares of past su1c1d3 attempts and the outcome of actually succeeding. I can't eat properly anymore. My SH habits and my anxiety is coming back (every beginning of every month though so it wasn't as bad as way way when this started) and I trying my best to stop it again. I'm almost a month clean but I doubt that I can last more than that again because everything seems to get worse and worse. I cry myself to sleep because of my thoughts being so fucked up. I tried coming forward with this so many times to my parents and my teachers but they won't believe me, i can't do anything anymore except try to get better by myself. I can't bring myself to communicate with anyone anymore knowing full well that the only thing that's keeping me alive at this moment is socializing. I keep having flashbacks of when older men stalked me everywhere I went in the past. I lie awake knowing that nothing can bring me comfort except seeing that one idol who you all probably know by now. Im literally depending on him to keep me together during the day it's not even funny anymore lmfao.

I have to do endless chores, deal with all of this at once, catch up on two semesters worth of materials for my new school, deal with my graduation ceremony which is coming around this month or next month? Somehow I developed some type of anger issues the past year so haha that's great yuh no.

To stop you from worrying, no, I don't have suicidal tendencies anymore but I don't exactly have something to be thrilled living for. I'm just vibin in life at this point lmao

I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. Id lie awake crying my eyes out while listening to renjun voice audios. I'm tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of everything. Im tired of laying in bed overthinking and stressing bout things that wouldnt normally bother as much. I promise I won't do anything stupid

I won't be gone long. I'm not okay at the moment but I will be. Because at the end i need to be okay again. I'm giving myself time to heal again before something gets bad. I promise I'll come back from time to time. I promise I'll be okay again and I'll come back as that happy hyper renjun simp who swears and uses capslock, spamming memes or whatever.

I'm not comfortable opening up about anything that goes beyond too sad in my life so I'm just going to leave it at that

You can stop scrolling now. The triggering part is over.

Thank you for all the moots who decided to cheer me up unknowingly whenever I was having a mental breakdown. Thank you for reading up to here lmfao uh I don't know what to say? God Im a mess.

Dms on both tumblr and discord will be pretty slow. I'm sorry but I'll reply to my asks like a day or two after they're sent. I won't be posting much until June and I'm truly sorry for those who were waiting for the last chapter of idni, im taking this chance to also rethink the ending so I can somehow make it better than I originally planned it literally a year ago.

Damn broken English 101.

As I said before, I'll be okay when I get back. I'll be the happy hyper angie I always was and always will be when I return. I don't know when I'll post this but hopefully I don't haha. You don't have to be worried about me, this happened before and I always come back okay again. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back in a month.

Do what yall do and don't forget to tag me whenever you post any renjun fics haha. I'll miss you all, don't forget about me okay? Haha.

I'll be looking forward to writing again and hopefully I'll be mentally and physically healthy then. Hopefully I'll have my motivation in writing back again by then. I'll try my best to commit into getting better and being happy. Plus I wanna start an sm au but rn it doesn't seem very likely haha

I'll be contacting my networks bout this as soon as I post this.

Thank you and see you all later

[straydays7-blog]

My Day6inNYC Experience!

EDIT: I typed this up in word and pasted it into Tumblr. Tumblr kinda make some things look a little weird so excuse that please.

This is super late coming but as soon as I left NYC I had to cram for a ton of exams and now that most of those are over I can take the time to talk about my experience seeing Day6 perform live and even hi-touching them;;;; This post might be a little bit all over the place, but I cant help but to feel SO MANY FEELINGS when I think about this okay. Its still so surreal I cant believe it actually happened it felt like a really good dream okay. Also, I wish my English were better to express myself here I have so many emotions I wish to express but honestly, I dont know how Id even describe these feelings in any other languages I know SO ILL TRY MY BEST WITH ENGLISH. Also, fair warning, thisll probably be really long so prepare yourself.

Okay, first things first. I arrived like 30 mins early to pick up my P2 wristband and apparently had I been a little earlier I could have seen day6 enter the Town Hall! Somehow, even though I was not the first that arrived at the venue to pick up my wristband, I did end up being first in the P2 line. And lord behold. Someone opened the backstage door. Then and there, I caught a glimpse of Sungjin, playing his guitar singing his part in the You Were Beautiful chorus. EVERYONE AROUND ME STARTED SCREAMING LOL. I was in such shock. Sungjin is so beautiful (in present tense) and has one of the best voices Ive ever heard okay. I dont think I really realized until then I was going to see Day6, like the band that inspires me to work hard every day and makes me so happy. Even though I had bought the ticket and everything that brought me to NYC, it felt surreal and then I knew it was R E A L. Theyre real and I was about to watch them perform live and even meet them afterwards like what the heck? After getting my wristband, I picked up a fanproject banner that would later be used to move day6 to tears:) These boys are so wholesome.

I went back to my hotel for a while after that because it was rainy and windy so walking around didnt sound so nice. Around 5:30 I left to get a bite to eat and then head back to the venue. Ended up getting a burger at Five Guys (and okay totally off topic from seeing Day6, but the Five Guys burger I had in NYC was so much better than any Ive had here in VA? Or maybe excitement makes stuff taste better.) I arrived at the venue at like 6:00 and the line was already pretty long! There were some My Days handing out photocards and I bought a Sungjin badge from one girl. (This experience is gonna make me sound so Sungjin biased but omg my bias is definitely Young K)

Once I was in the Town Hall I decided to buy a lightstick to cheer for the band! Id already ordered some of the other merch from the Subkulture Shop, because I was literally only traveling with one backpack and didnt want to buy more than I could fit in to take back home.

I had no idea on which side my seat would be, I only knew I would be 12 rows away from the stage. So, when I found my seat I was beyond happy to see I was on Young K and Wonpils side of the stage omg. With a really clear view of the both of them also! All the MyDays there were so sweet man, I had a great time talking with some while waiting for the concert to begin. Though I do honestly really wish that @mikulinneamew or @reading-river would have been there with me. Day6s instruments were already set on the stage and oh my goodness I fell in love with Sungjins Gibson Les Paul. Its white body with the black pickguard and golden hardware is SO BEAUTIFUL. Makes me want to go out and buy a Les Paul just like it, but going to this concert I used money I was originally saving for a new Fender P-Bass (That aint happening for a while now lol) but I am so not complaining. Sungjins Martin acoustic is also really beautiful, but I still prefer Taylors. Young Ks bass is also super pretty. Really, I was drooling over these instruments while waiting for the concert to begin.

Its two minutes before the concert was set to begin and everyone is already chanting “DAY6! DAY6! DAY6! DAY6!”. Shortly after the lights went dark and the screen behind the stage started to play a video introducing the members (And can I say I love how so many of their songs were mashed up perfectly in that video like wow Id love the audio of just that)! One by one then the members came on stage. First Dowoon, then Wonpil, followed by Young K, Jae and last but not least, leader Sungjin! While the video was finishing playing I could see Young K getting his bass tuned and ready to perform. I started tearing up here already because they were right in front of me? Unreal, but yet so real.

And then, the first song was: I WAIT! One of my favorite songs already ;; (what am I saying, all of their songs are my favorites) Such a high energy song for the first one. It was perfect to get the crowd hyped and pumped for what was to come! Then there was me crying of happiness and singing along though omg. DAY6 IS SO COOL PERFORMING. Sungjin and Jae rocking out on their guitars, Young K thumping on the Bass, Wonpil playing the Synth and Dowoon rocking the drums! I loved how connected the audience was with the band too like out of all the live performances from bands Ive seen, this one was definitely the one with the most chemistry with the audience and music! All of the “I WAIT!” chants were so nice to hear with the music aaaa. THE SONG ENDED SO FAST. All songs went by so quick really, but hey that just means youre having a great time.

The second song was: HUNT! I was NOT prepared for this song so early on in the show already. If I had to summarize this performance in two words: Younghyuns rap (I love it so much). I really love the guitar riffs in this song so I payed a lot of attention to Jae and Sungjin at first but man, as soon as it was rapping time my eyes were focused on Young K. His rapping timbre is soooOOO darn good. And hes such a good performer too when he does it. HE FEELS EVERY WORD HE SAYS. Hunt is such a good song. I loved it. So much.

After the first two songs, lights went back on for a moment and Jae hyped up the audience! Young K shook his head the first time everyone made noise at Jaes request, but the second time Jae asked us to make some noise BOY THAT WAS GOOD VOLUME MYDAYS HAVE GREAT LUNGS.

That was followed by: IM SERIOUS! This song is so fluffy and catchy Im pretty sure everyone was singing along in the “I cant stop loving you” part. I mean, how could anyone stop loving day6 theyre so wholesome and talented and KIND AND SWEET. Wow. Its SO FUN to watch Sungjin play his acoustic guitar he was smiling the whole time. Everyone was smiling during that performance EVEN DOWOON HE WAS SO CUTE. Its such a sweet song how can you not smile playing it or listening to it. During the acapella part Young K was shooting finger hearts and did an AMAZING adlib. I was m e l t i n g. Turning me into a puddle.

The next song was: MAN IN A MOVIE! I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG A LOT. Another really soft and fluffy song, but soOOO musically interesting. Day6 is one of the few groups that not only produces earcandy, but earcandy that is also thinking candy for people who enjoy music theory (a n d I d o) This is the only day6 song Ive actually written out a fingerstyle ukulele arrangement for (totally weird instrument choice, but Im working on rewriting it for guitar LOL). Im EXTREMELY fond of everyones vocals on this song. Especially Sungjins and Young Ks :)

After this song it was game and Q&A time! I cant remember if the preference game or Q&A was first so Im just going to talk about the preference game first.

Firstly though, all the members introduced themselves. They all looked so happy that it made me even happier LOL. For the preference game, all of the audience had to stand up and participate in a game with day6! It was so fun! First up the audience had to guess which one Jae like more, by either raising their left or right arm: The statue of liberty or Brooklyn bridge. The right answer was Brooklyn bridge and the majority of the audience (including me) had guessed it right! The MyDays who guessed wrong, had to take their seat again. Second was Bob (Sungjin). I guessed his wrong already! >3< The question was if he preferred playing Overwatch or Fifa. The correct answer was Fifa. Sadly, most people had guessed this one wrong. Next was Dowoon. We had to guess if he prefers skirts or jeans on girls LOL. His answer was jeans but it got too loud that I couldnt quite hear his reasoning. Then was Young K. Does he prefer sneakers or high heels? His answer was sneakers, because high heels are very uncomfortable (he said hes even tried them on before what a cutie). Wonpil had the most far fetched question in my opinion it was kinda funny! The audience had to guess if he likes Ariel or Snow White more. His answer was Snow White because he feels more sorry for her. Lastly was a question that would decide the faith of a lot of Jae stans hair LOL. Does he like long hair or short hair better on girls? His answer was short hair, because it makes them seem more confident. After all of those guesses only four lucky MyDays out of about 1500 were left standing! They got invited onto the stage and got a bag full of (signed!) tour merch gifted to them by Day6! It was so sweet and kind that the winners even received such a gift from Day6 themselves!

MOVING ON TO THE Q&A! Before they picked their questions to answer, Sungjin said “This! Is! Paradise!” and Dowoon sang the “Oh you are My Daaay” part of their song MY DAY to the NYC MyDays. Wonpil went first to pick his question. While each member would choose their question, the audience would sing the jeopardy theme song. It was hilarious. He chose the question: “Where did your interest in music come from?” Right when he was about to answer the question someone in the audience screamed “I LOVE YOU YOUNG K” but Young K shut her down so fast saying “Its Wonpil time!” Wonpil was flustered for a sec but then resumed to answer his question and said that he listened to a lot of hip hop when he was young and that got him interested. Next up was Young K! He chose the question: “What was the funniest moment in your life?”. He began to say that since Chuseok hes been eating more. And his most funny moment was before he came onto the stage. Apparently his pants didnt fit him anymore and he had to expand them a bit! The way he told this story was utterly hilarious and cute I can highly recommend finding a fancam of this moment omg. After him was Dowoon. His question was: “If you could have a superpower what would it be?” He said he wishes he could talk to animals. When he was in college he had a pet cat which he neglected and now he feels bad for that. He said if he could only communicate with one kind of animal though it would be bear LOL. Sungjin started imitating a bear after that and it was so hilarious omg he puffed himself up and was clawing at him. Next was Sungjin! He was lowkey dancing along to the jeopardy theme omg. His question was: “What is the hardest thing you have ever done?”. He said working towards Day6s debut was the hardest time in his life ;; He shouted out collapsedone who helped them a lot towards their debut and he was actually at the concert right there ;; Jae was the last one to get a question. He chose: “What inspired you to pursue music?”. He said he was getting into a bunch of Youtube musicians and thought he should try it out too. He met Wong Fu Productions Phil who also further inspired him to pursue music. And so Yellowpostitman was born. That concluded the Q&A! Day6 left the stage for a quick moment while the NYC Vlog-like video they made for the tour started playing. This time it was Wonpils cut! It showed the boys having fun at times square (someone in the audience screamed I SEE MYSELF and everyone laughed it was so funny) and Wonpil loosing his phone while dancing on the street LOL. I really love this vlog concept they had to play during intermission its so sweet of them.

Once the vlog was over they came back on stage and started to perform You Were Beautiful. THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Its one of the first songs of theirs I heard that got me into them ;; I was tearing up during this whole performance its such a heartfelt song and you could truly feel the emotions of the song being conveyed in their performance. They all sing it so softly yet powerfully. I really love Young Ks vocal parts in this song and his voice was so stable too (everyones was really) aaa ;;

The next song they performed was their debut song CONGRATULATIONS! Everyone in the audience had received a red sticker to cover their phone flashlight with during this song to create a red ocean. I wasnt in a good seat so see if it was a success or not but the lighting definitely seemed more red :) Everyone was singing along to EVERY BIT of this song it was fantastic. I love this song so much aaa. Young Ks rap makes me feel so many FEELINGS. This song was over way too quick I wish itd last forever.

After Congratulations Jae was saying that the last two songs are coming now and everyone was getting a LIL SAD that the night was coming to an end soon. (Jae didnt count the encore though ;D) Jae also took a moment to tell everyone that they should follow their dreams and not let anyone tell them that they cant make it. Even when it seems impossible to make it to your dreams he believes that we can make the jump and achieve them ;; Hearing those words from him made me a sobbing mess. For a few reasons I think. Even just seeing them perform live was a dream come true. Being in NYC (if even just for two days) was a dream come true. Its a city Id been dreaming of seeing someday since I was a little kid. Probably because music as a career has almost always been my dream. And NYC is one of the worlds music capitals. I used to want to become a concert pianist. Then I wanted to become a music teacher. Right now Im leaning more towards songwriting, production and playing guitar LOL. But as someone whos in the position where I need to decide what I want to do with my future relatively soon, Jaes words helped me so much.

Their next song was LETTING GO! And oh my goodness. I was not prepared for those buttery sweet harmonies in the beginning. I was thinking so much about what Jae had said before during this performance so Im a little blank on what special happened during this performance but I totally remember it being mesmerizing;;

Their last song before encore was I SMILE! The fanchants on this one were so strong! Everyone held their banner up which read “My Day6 which I thought I only met in my dreams is right in front of me”. I could see Young K tear up when he read it. It was so sweet :) I do wish that Wonpils synth had been a tiny bit louder because he has that cool solo part in it, but I could hardly hear it. But the whole performance was so overwhelmingly beautiful that I was crying.

After performing I SMILE they left the stage and everyone started chanting “DAY6! DAY6!” again. Shortly after they came back on stage and THEY PERFORMED DANCE DANCE. This song is so upbeat and happy and makes you forget all the stress so much I love it to bits. I absolutely love Jaes guitar part in this song too so I tried to focus on him until Brians rap distracted me AGAIN (rapper K is my weakness okay). The entire performance was so high energy it was perfect buildup to the next song they performed which was also their last performance for the night. FREE하게! This is my go-to song for escaping from the stress of life and simply basking in how powerful music truly is. So, hearing it live, as the encore really touched me (and I cried more). I felt so many emotions go through me during this performance. It felt like a reminder of why I love music so much, which sometimes is well needed. Its so energetic and uplifting. My highlight of this performance: …Young Ks rap (wow surprise surprise). Also Sungjins high note! And Jae jumping into the crowd and hyping us up even more! (If Jae tells you to jump, you have to jump.) This performance was a perfect end for the concert. I really didnt want it to end though.

After this performance Day6 bowed and thanked the audience. I dont know where to begin describing how I felt after that. I still had the high touch left but the main event was over. I felt (still feel and always will) so extremely blessed to have been able to experience that. Theyre such a wholesome, hardworking and admirable band. I felt such extreme happiness.

The night was nearly over, but the hi-touch was still left for those who had purchased a P2 ticket! Id never done a hi-touch before, so I didnt know what to expect. I only knew itd go by super quick. What I did NOT expect however, is to walk around a corner and BAM there standing is Young K, Mr. Brian Kang, THE KANG YOUNGHYUN, BASSIST RAPPER GODLY VOCALS FULL TIME COLLEGE STUDENT BUT ALSO FULL TIME BANDMEMBER HE WORKS SO HARD OK. It is a lot to take in when you see your ultimate bias being the first in line for the hi-touch. My first thought was how pretty his NOSE is. Like dang, boys got the finest nose Ive ever seen. My second thought was how intimidating he seemed though omg. But as soon as it was my turn for a brief second with him it seemed like he was glowing and flowers were blooming around him? Hes got the sweetest smile and eyes. Instead of high fiving him I held onto his hand for a second and all I could say was “I love you so much” I WAS IN SUCH AWE. He gave my hand a bit of a squeeze and said he loves me back. SUCH A NICE MAN IM CRYING.   Then it was already time to move on though and next was Dowoon! My mind was completely blank from Young K being first (I was hoping hed be last for this reason LOL) I also grabbed onto Dowoons hand for a moment and I mustve not said anything at first, because he was like “Thank you!” first (his Korean accent is adorable) so I said thank you back to him and he then gave a teeny bow like how polite omg. Thats all I had with Dowoon though (Wish I could have said more I wanted to tell him how cool he is!) But next was Jae. First impression: Hes so TALL. Second impression: Hes so NICE. I think Jae made it a thing to keep eye contact with his fans for as much as he could. I told him “Thank you so much Jae” because man especially his speech about following dreams hit me hard as I had mentioned before. Hes honestly the member I was most thankful for that night (Im thankful for them all though please dont misunderstand!) I would have hugged him if I could. His face is so pretty up close too, how can someone manage to look handsome but like a personification of Chicken Little at the same time? Jae can. Next was Wonpil! And I must say I was taken a back a little like “Who is this man?” HE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT IN REAL LIFE. In a good way of course! I held onto his hand for a moment and said “Thanks Wonpil” he nodded and had such a smug look on his face like omg. SUNGJIN WAS NEXT AND BOY THIS WAS MY FAVORITE ENCOUNTER. He was already like pulling his arm back to give a really hard high five so I was BRACING myself, because it looked like it might be painful omg. Hes the only member I actually high fived whoops. BUT his high five was so happy and so energetic! Yet it was aggressively soft? It was definitely a hard high five but it didnt hurt at all LOL. He was like “Ah yeah!” after that and I thanked him for the great show. Then the hi-touch was over for me. Even though I wish I could have had a little more time with them, I was so thankful to have had the experience in the first place.

IN CONCLUSION: This was the best night of my life so far. This definitely is not going to be the last time I see them live. If they come back to NA while Im still here you can count on me doing my best to get that P1 or P2 ticket. They better come to Europe someday too! For their next tour if it works out I might even try to go to more than one of their concerts. I was trying to go to the Toronto concert for this tour too, but my exam schedule wouldnt allow that. But I am so blessed that NYC happened. I will also definitely plan any trip to Asia around their concert schedule!

Tl;dr: I love day6 so much. See them live someday plz. Tell Brian I love him plz.