#this is pre patch btw

[alberichfanpage]

Here is a video of my girlfriend fighting a Bell-Bearing Hunter!

[ezra-trait]

pretty kitty

[prettyboykatsuki]

how hsr hacker self insert sleeps in sunday’s bed knowing he’s going to penetrate her mind sexual style as soon as shes awake

she lays in bed and rubs her feet tg like a cricket and giggles thinking about it bc shes a freak

[seithr]

hairy old man chest jumpscare . good lord hi

[starblaster]

i'm just so cynical about the way books, extra especially books published in the "young adult fiction" and even just straightup adult fiction categories, are largely being written to be marketed right now. i feel even more intensely annoyed by the racket that is YA-focused publishing since the books being put out by the industry tend to be commodities or generators of commodity potential; written with the expressed purpose of ginning up a fandom, which will in turn mill more money because fandom consumers are more likely to buy extraneous product associated with a title, like a fandom-franchise.

and, yes, i'm completely aware that the murderbot diaries series is published by tor, and tor is definitely part of the problem, but the fact that the murderbot diaries is very much about commodification, it feels absolutely suited (??) to be published with them. and it’s also not just tor, obviously this is a widespread and long-standing problem in publishing in general, but then (with tor) there are books like sarah rees brennan's in other lands books, a series i did try to read! many times! before giving up due to the sheer lack of coherence and cohesion in the first book alone. it's untethered, the inciting incident and conflict are so difficult to even identify, and the protagonist is not what i would call a likeable character (and btw, unless your protagonist is someone like humbert humbert or patrick bateman, characters whose unlikeability has a purpose within that story to make the reader uncomfortable, i'm sorry but why aren't you writing your protagonists to be so unlikeable?! is this part of the marketing scheme, too? are there meetings in board rooms taking place where editors and marketing agents tell authors to make their characters unlikeable when it really is not warranted? i am genuinely so lost by this trend... and it is a trend! believe me, it is a trend)

anyway my point is that some of these authors, i feel like, would be better off self-publishing. what is tor or any other publisher bringing to some of these works? why are so many publishers giving YA a pass to be like this? because it doesn't feel like they're doing the jobs of a publishing houses, except to market things and take a % of an author's paycheck for it. where is the editing? (english language, at least) YA-category books, by and large, feel more lacking in substance than they did a decade ago. like, are young adults not owed something better than this…? and the solution should not be “well maybe young adults should just read adult fiction” because 🤷🏻 shocker, this is a problem with a good chunk of adult fiction, too. i just… i hate you marketing i hate you marketability i hate you publishing agents i hate you publishing industry grrrrgrrrgr biting biting biting gnashing smashing kill

[colourofthekites]

these latest patch notes are going to give rise to the most insufferable of FromSoft gamer bros

[faggotthatwilldie]

It makes me SOOOO angry when people draw Marvin (especially revival Marvin) as some skinny or buff hairless pre-teen or just not the chubby body type he actually has. He’s a full grown man with body hair, he also has a lot of internalised homophobia and misogyny, he wouldn’t be shaving or grooming himself at all. He’s also definitely got more chub in act 2 than act 1 (I am an avid lover of gaining weight to symbolise happiness btw) but he definitely has it in act 1 too. He also has wrinkles, aging imperfections and he’s probably got chubby features/‘imperfections’ (e.x. Hip dips, stretch marks, rolls, rough patches of skin where its been stretched/pushed together). I do also hate when people draw Whizzer skinny when he, in fact, is muscled/toned and well groomed but he also is a young/middle aged adult, who is confirmed to have body/leg hair. Bottom line is, Marvin AND Whizzer aren’t little twinks, Whizzer is a muscley jock and Marvin is a grown ass middle aged man!

[base0h]

When op characters throw their backs out

a/n - I watched househusband today 👍

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader, shanks is a manbaby

- you thought an emperor of the sea could throw his back out??? Ridiculous!!

- … *crack* “OW DAMMIT-“

- literally on the floor struggling not to start bawling

- WHY WAS IT SO PAINFUL?!

- this was more painful than losing his arm 💀

- starts calling your name with that slight break in his voice at the end 😭

- he requires cuddles and absolute pampering right now

- will start crying like a baby 😐

- “Baby it hurts so bad- I want you to know that I love you so much.”

- “Shanks baby you’re not dying, you just hurt your back a bit.”

- *gasp*

- “I’M ONLY 40!”

- has an existential crisis about how he’s so old 💀

- “You were there when joyboy was born lmfao.” -yasopp

- “Yasopp now he’s sad again!” -you

- You start hugging him in your lap, running your fingers through his hair while trying to soothe his pain

- he loved seeing you take care of him so much that he literally got hurt more often??

- “Y/n I scraped my knee!”

- “Hehe I broke my leg-!”

- “I lost my other arm can you give me hugs and kisses?”

- so dramatic 🙄

- with that shrimp posture of his it’s no wonder he threw his back out

- have you seen the way this man walks during pre timeskip? 🦐🦐🦐🦐

- he stood up one day, already feeling uncomfortable tension in his lower back that day

- straightening his back pushed it, *crack*

- the way his eyes widened and he immediately just collapsed into the chair, struggling to support himself

- he’s usually very good with pain and has a super high tolerance, but why tf did this hurt so bad?!

- he knew he threw his back out- he specifically took steps to avoid this (minus fixing his posture)

- you walk in to see your poor lover struggling for his life

- he’s pretty much out of commission for the rest of the day.. So you mostly do everything for him (he’s not happy about this btw)

- “y/n, no you don’t have to hug me- I’m fine-!”

- “shut up and let me hug you.”

- “….fine.”

- “OW DONT SQUEEZE THAT HARD-!”

- lmao this poor guy

- he hates how you’re babying him all day, feels like he’s useless

- “Well I mean- you are.. But only for today!” -you

- “was that supposed to help me?”

- just cuddle him, he’ll start to calm down after a while lol 💀

- he’s like a pufferfish, he’ll deflate eventually 👍

- lifting 4099 lbs on a normal ass typical day 💀

- And then when he raised it over his head, he felt something snap in his back

- he grunted, falling backwards, the massive weight falling on top of his chest, trapping him underneath it

- literally choking on the weight while his back throbs 😭

- you’re struggling to kick 4099 pounds off this idiot

- “Y/n- *cough* it’s not that heavy!”

- “SHUSH.”

- Luffy had to come in and help you guys. He took about a minute or two to laugh first though

- “BAHAHAHAHA IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU GOT STUCK IN THE CHIMNEY!”

- *flashbacks*

- he’s literally running out of air pls 💀

- when he finally got out, he tried to stand up to get back to training, ignoring your protests

- “I’m fine! Just leave me be-“ *dies*

- literally on the floor in agony

- chopper comes over and gives him some patches while you let him rest his head in your lap

- ok he’s not happy about his back hurting.. but- if it means he gets to rest his head on your thighs? He’d hurt his back again if needed

- the soft flesh that cushioned his head was absolutely perfect, so much so that he wrapped his bulky arms around your torso as if telling you not to leave

- you both stayed there for the rest of the day while Zoro took the best nap of his life in your lap 💜

a/n - help I threw my back out once and I’m not even in my twenties yet 🫠

[yourheart-inmyhands]

HIIIII I LOVE YOUR POSTS SO MUCH IF YOU DIDNT NOTICED I WAS ONE OF YOUR FOLLOWERS WHO LIKE YOUR POSTS THE EARLIEST ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT AND AMAZING DAY I HOPE YOU FEEL HAPPY AND JOYFULL! STAY SAFE :DDDD

Oh and btw i love love LOVED the last post you made :3 wasnt able to like it early since i was at school but can i please req a Zoro reader with a yan Yelan , Beidou , Alhaitham (all hail the ham XD) and Neuvillete (idk how to spell his name😒🙄) ANYWAYS PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME REMEMBER TO EAT REST AND DRINK WATER <<<333

Plus points if reader is in luffys pirate crew , has 3 swords and stronger than Beidou and Yelan 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

YOUR THE BEST POOKS EHEHHEHEHE<<<<333 :D :3

(stan chuu 🥰🥰🥰😱😱😱)

LOVE YOU POOKS 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍

i didn't wanna answer this one cause it's so cute and i wanted to keep it in my inbox foreverrrrr but i really appreciate the compliments ;v; <33 also i won't lie, Zoro is not one of my favorites from One Piece (i like greasy/deranged men) but i love his character, i was also binging some episodes while writing this and also this is pre-timeskip zoro cause that's where i'm at currently and brainrot be real but i hope you enjoy :D <3

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, mentions of violence, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Yelan would be stressed out, not only do you wield three swords and seem to always get yourself in trouble, but you’re always getting lost. She’s at least glad that you can take care of yourself if the need arises but your obsession with being Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman is a little out of control. She prefers that you don’t go out without her because she knows you’ll get lost, but if you should otherwise she’ll be sure to send out someone to follow you, keeping her informed of your location and every move.

Yelan smiled to herself as you trained in the backyard. While your bizarre workout routine often had her a bit worried, she admired your dedication to her work. There was a lot about you she loved, but your dedication to your goals was what drew her in, reminding her of herself sometimes. She had to keep you on a tight leash though, your lack of direction often leaving you in places you shouldn’t end up in. She never minded though, it was just another of your adorable quirks, something she found keeping her on her toes. Yelan loved you and all your strange, unique quirks. 

Yandere!Beidou would find you very admirable, chasing so strongly after your ambitions as she had. While killing a Leviathan and becoming Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman are two different life goals, she thinks you're an amazing individual for chasing your dreams so wholeheartedly.

Beidou smiled down at you from the top deck, watching as you polished your blades. While she didn’t understand the need for three swords, she knew you enjoyed it and so she never questioned it. She was grateful you didn’t put up a fight when it came to traveling on the Crux with her, not that you ever seemed to know where they were headed. It just made it easier for her to keep an eye on you, with your habit of wandering off and getting lost just to end up in a fight that she later patches you up from. She loved you and all your quirks but sometimes she wondered how you came to be this way, it wasn’t something you seemed keen to talk about.

Yandere!Alhaitham would find a beloved like this both a blessing and a curse. He loves your passion for swordfighting, often fighting with you for a bit of practice. While you certainly outmatch him with just one sword alone, he uses his intellect to spar with you, learning your moves and putting you into positions where you have to adapt and overcome. He finds the exercise to be an enjoyable break from his work, allowing him to keep his physical skills as sharp as his mental ones. He refuses to let you go anywhere by himself though, worried you’ll get lost and run into trouble, again.

Alhaitham smirked as he blocked another attack from you, having memorized every attack you’ve ever used against him. It was times like this that he enjoyed most with you, a proper challenge between brains and brawn. While your workout routine was intense, his mind was equally as polished, leaving the duels between the two of you relatively intense. On afternoons where you weren’t dueling, it was common to go into town, with Alhaitham usually picking up books or other things at stores while dragging you along with him. Even if he knew you were going to nap the whole time he was gone, he still didn’t trust you to not fight something or get lost while he was gone. So instead he took you to every store with him, keeping a tight watch over you and oftentimes tying a ribbon gently around your wrists that connected to his belt.

Yandere!Neuvillette has no choice but to keep you locked up inside while he’s gone simply because he knows otherwise you’ll get lost and he’ll be seeing you in the courtroom for yet another fight you got into. He doesn’t mind it though, knowing that at home you only do a few things, train, polish your swords, and nap. And while he admires your dream to be Teyvat’s Greatest Swordsman, he thinks you should settle for the strength you currently possess and simply stay here in Fontaine with him.

Unlocking the door and stepping in after a long day in court, Neuvillette isn’t surprised to see you napping in the livingroom. He will admit that the first few times he saw you napping, simply sitting on the floor up against a wall with all three swords nearby, he thought it was strange, insisting that you sleep in the bedroom or at least on the couch. Now though, he understands that it’s simply the way you are, quietly approaching and smirking as your eyes flicker open, looking up at the man. “Your senses are as sharp as ever I see.” Neuvillette offers you a hand, gently pulling you to your feet as you stretch, asking about his day. He enjoys the quiet life he has and he prefers to try and force you to comply than let you roam free, after all he’s doing this for the betterment of society. You’re simply too dangerous.

[afrotunada]

incomplete list of fun and interesting things I've learned about Jason Todd through my scattered readings and late night googling

One time, he was sooo desperate for affection and validation, he was willing to risk it all after an accidental, spur of the moment kiss with Barbara Gordon in Three Jokers Issue #2. Alas, he was thwarted by a janitor, the poor bastard...(much to everyone's relief I'm sure) (Batman: Three Jokers)

Batman: Three Jokers Issue #3

In addition to statuesque amazons (Artemis), blonde bombshells (Isabel Ardila), white-haired beauties (Essence and Rose Wilson), and Dick's ex-girlfriends, Jason also likes smart, curvy ladies ;) selfshippers rejoice! (although I myself am not so curvy, his love of normal girls is a positive in my book<3) (Red Hood: The Hill)

Jason hooking up with Dana's friend and employee Carmen Ortega while Dana herself (as Strike) gets her shit rocked by her other (former) friend and employee Omar (as Slayer) on the other side of town - as one does. Red Hood: The Hill Issue #2

One of Jason's first overtures at rejoining the Batfam was made in the New 52 relaunch of the 2011 comic Batman Incorporated, where he takes on the persona of Wingman at the behest of Bruce. He even teams up with Damian Wayne (going by Redbird at the time), forming their own very brief Batman & Robin-esque pair! Also, they both looked kind of ridiculous... [apparently, takes place sometime during Red Hood and the Outlaws Vol. 1 (2011-2015), around issues 17 and 18 and Death of A Family, but before Damian's death and his own Joker-induced gas coma. weird ass timeline!] (Batman Incorporated (2012))

Yes, that is, in fact, Jason in that getup. It's giving Cybercop Owlman. Peak fashion, actually. Batman Incorporated (2012) Issue #4

(as an additional aside, post New 52 and into the Rebirth era, Jay and Bruce start patching things up (kinda) and enter a truce of sorts starting in the Red Hood and the Outlaws: Rebirth one-shot from 2016. Yay!)

In the Elseworld of Batman: White Knight (also known as the Murphyverse for it's creator - Sean Murphy), Jason Todd is the eldest son instead of Dick Grayson, meaning that he was actually both the first Robin, and Bruce's first adopted son! He was still captured and tortured by the Joker tho....he escaped alive, but was presumed dead and given a burial and tombstone - as in the main universe - and Dick was taken on as Robin in his "absence." Poor guy! He can't catch a break even in AUs! BUT!! He does gets his own Robin sidekick in this universe - Gan! (also known as Robin IV, a young woman of Mongolian descent who took up the mantel herself with a homemade costume (similar to Stephanie Brown)). In fact, she's the one who encourages him to become Red Hood in the first place! (Batman: White Knight)

Harley Quinn is a primary protagonist of this universe, btw, and pretty much saves Jason from being killed Batman: White Knight Issue #2

Gan is my adorable daughter and Jason (the messy bitch as she calls him) deserves his own chaos gremlin apprentice<3 Panel 1 - Batman: White Knight Presents: Red Hood Issue #1 Panels 2 & 3 - Batman: White Knight Presents: Red Hood Issue #2

Speaking of AUs and elseworlds, in 2002's World Without Young Justice, Jason Todd was a circus acrobat, as per his original pre-crisis origin (minus the red hair). In this AU, he's dating fellow circus member Anita Fite (normally Empress, but here known as Voodoo Princess), but she ends up assassinating him at the behest of his step-mom, Catherine Todd, because he discovered his parents dirty business dealings with Killer Croc. What the hell Catherine? (Young Justice Vol. 1 - World Without Young Justice, Part 1: The World What Once We Knew)

Young Justice (1998) Issue #44 - World Without Young Justice, Part 1: The world What Once We Knew

Anyway! This isn't comprehensive or anything, just a post made in fun to put together some things about Jason that I think were funny/interesting that the fandom doesn't know/talk about much. Might add more later if I come across other stuff during my readings (maybe not for a while tho; I am currently consumed by World's Finest and following the Absolute Power event).

But yeah! Feel free to add on if you like! :)

[audaciousacolyte]

hello!! just recently found your acc and holy shit can i say that ur writing is SO GOOD DUDE every post u make is such a banger RAHHH!!!! Sorry if I'm coming on too strong btw, it's very late and i am not eepy at all </33

anyways! i was wondering if youd write a knuckles x reader where theyve been best friends since they were kids, and knuckles found out hes been crushing on them? i love the silly red man he needs all the love frfr. Thank you!!

Red dead heartbeat

Knuckles the echidna x Childhood Friend! Reader

AN: 《|| Hello Duckie! (Do you mind if I call you Duckie?) I'm so glad that you enjoy my writing, it makes me really happy to see that I have a few fans at least... you're not coming on too strong at all! It's pretty sweet actually! In any case, please enjoy this for now. ||》

FLUFF (pre realization)

◇| Knuckles, as the last of his kind, is a deeply lonely guy, so you'll have to forgive him for being distant with you when y'all first meet. Most likely, he's been on his own practically his whole life. . .

◇| he. . .he's gonna need a moment or two to adjust to having people around all the time, but he'll be fine.

◇| Depending on the kind of relationship the two of you have, he may try to herd you away from villans (COUGH COUGH EGGMAN COUGH) and may attempt to pull you out of/away from the action.

◇♡|| He means well, he does, but he's still incredibly nervous about loosing more friends. . . About losing you.

◇| If it really bothers you, he'll stop, but he's a massive worrywart about the whole thing. Anytime you get hurt, he's on you like a leech! Even if it's a minor scrape, hes still going to patch you up. . .then pound the guy who hurt you six feet under.(I am a firm believer in "motherhen" knuckles, and I will DIE on this hill)

◇| on a completely random note, he SUCKS at verbal comfort. Just, the WORST.He does, however, give the best hugs out of Team Sonic so. . . You win some, you lose some IG /jk

◇| I will be honest though, you ARE going have to help him with social cues sometimes. A life of isolation doesn't exactly make a guy the best conversationalist, you know.

(Post-realization)

◇| He wasn't even aware of his crush until Sonic pointed out that he seemed more relaxed around you. It. . . only takes a little bit of hard thinking for him figure out why.

♡| He's blown away by the thought that he- well, that he might like you a bit MORE than he previously thought, but at the same time he isn't all that surprised. I mean. . . It's you! Why wouldn't he be infatuated with you?

♡|Actually acts pretty normal for the most part, if a bit more affectionate.

♡| If when he confesses, he's gonna make it as romantic as he can. Maybe a moonlit stroll? Or some kind of picnic? (He's still torn on whether or not he should take you to the beach and confess tbh) but however he goes about it, he'll be a bit awkward but sincere

♡| Genuinely thrilled when y'all start dating, you have no idea! He's the best boyfriend you could ask for! <3<3<3

[vixstarria]

Ascended Astarion Headcanon

For the record, spawn Astarion all the way - if I ever ascend him it would be on an evil Durge run. Those two can have each other and be evil together, sure.

However.

The vast majority of Ascended Astarion fics that I've seen go along the following lines: Astarion becomes a cartoonishly evil villain, no common sense, no restraint, only flares of anger at the slightest provocation, just evil for the sake of being evil, senseless degradation of Tav who now lives in mortal fear of him, etc. And I think that is such an oversimplification.

Consider the following, at least with a non-evil aligned Tav:

[Btw I had the following typed up before the recent patch, and before seeing the vampire bride post, so if anything no longer checks out... Meh.]

More of a ruthless CEO / politician vibe for Astarion

Calculating, logical, more manipulative than ever

End always justifies the means, and whatever stands between him and what he wants can burn

Still not a details guy though

Still witty and has a sense of humor, but drier and without any trace of self-deprecation

Has more of a temper but is capable of restraining it

Incapable of love

I suppose I'm describing a sociopath, but perhaps not one at the very far end of that spectrum

Okay, you got me, I'm really grasping for straws here, BUT LET'S PRETEND, OKAY, LET'S PRETEND

Relationship with spawn Tav:

Basically views them as one might a prize racehorse or an exotic talking bird: pride, admiration (perhaps obsession is a better word), possessiveness, takes good care of them and ensures their needs are met, would rip off the arms of anyone that might hurt them

Still views them as his property or a possession, even if a favourite and treasured one

Still takes counsel from Tav, if reluctantly and with a likelihood to disregard it anyway, because remember - he is a logical being, and knows that Tav is the one person unable to betray him, who can be counted on to tell him the truth. Does not lash out at them for it. (okay, are you a Wheel of Time fan? Tav essentially becomes his Truthspeaker with filter-free privilege. There.)

Tav becomes a buffer between him and the rest of the world when he does have moments of rage-fuelled insanity:

"Darling, we can't block out the sun - the crops won't grow, animals will die, people will die, frankly everyone but us will die - what are you going to eat then?"

"My love, we can't decapitate the servants for accidents. Well-trained staff is so hard to find... Here, don't trouble yourself, I'll deal with them personally."

"Godsdamnit Astarion, what are we going to do with all these wolves?! They're shitting everywhere, put them away immediately."

Becomes the Yin to his Yang, so to speak

Tav accepts this role, as they know they are the only person with any sway whatsoever over Astarion

Tav yearns for pre-ascension Astarion, and is constantly searching for flickering glimpses of his soul, hoping he's still there, somewhere

Ominous locked door parties with the nobility? Oh absolutely, Tav's all about that though. Fuck the police. Eat the rich.

[mangosaurus]

Ceratosaurus, Dilophosaurus, and Compy for the ask game! Btw I’m so happy you get to finally participate in it 🧘‍♀️

HEHE same here! kind of wish i was around while it was still getting passed around by my mutuals so i could have sent in my own asks, but better late than never >:)

1. Ceratosaurus - Favorite character design from both series? (Also who in your personal opinion, had the best glow up from CC to CT)

AW MAN THIS IS SUPER HARD. of the nublar 6 my favorite designs in camp cretaceous are tied between yasmina and brooklynn from s3 onward, mostly because i love the way they both wore their hair. in chaos theory darius totally wins over everyone else though, the team really nailed his design there (but i am really fond of some of the concepts the artists came up with during pre-production! same goes for the other campers, especially brooklynn. that bleach blonde pixie cut is my roman empire tbh)

as for biggest glow up ... i feel obligated to give that one to ben, if just because of the growth spurt. also gonna take this opportunity to go on the record and say LEAVE KENJI ALONE I GET THAT HE'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK A BIT ROUGH BUT HIS HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD 😭😭😭

2. Dilophosaurus - How did you discover Camp Cretaceous?

so, i didn't actually start watching camp cretaceous until a few months after the final season wrapped up—i think sometime around september 2022? but i had some close friends who had been keeping up with it for a while, and after hearing them talk about it so much i was like, hey, i want in! which is funny, because i was never really into jurassic park/world before then? i was more of a marine biology kid than a dino kid growing up. but even without knowing the ~lore~ of the franchise, CC and its characters still managed to reel me in, and now i'm here nearly two years later and my hyperfixation is still going strong!

3. Compy - Favorite duo/trio/friendship and why?

favorite purely platonic duo goes to ben and yasmina EASILLYYYY. they just get each other on such a personal level, and i love seeing ben go from this kid yasmina begrudgingly tolerates to someone she trusts enough to confide in, both in JWCC s5 when she realizes she might harbor romantic feelings for sammy, and then again in JWCT s1 when her relationship with sammy has hit a rough patch. shout out to yasmina and darius though, their interactions in JWCC s2 were really sweet, they don't get enough love imo. i've said this at least three billion times before but if kenji is darius's shitty older brother then yasmina is darius's cooler older cousin

as for my favorite trio, i feel like most people would probably say either yasammy + ben or the original three (darius kenji and brooklynn) but for me it's darius brooklynn and ben 🥹 their individual dynamics all mean so much to me, and it doesn't hurt that i also lowkey highkey ship them as an OTV with darius in the middle (although if i had to seriously ship ben with any of the girls, it'd be brooklynn, lol)

🦖✨ JWCC/CT ask game!

[blarefordaglare]

The Time Link Refused To Get On a Boat

This can be read as platonic or not, as I suck at shipping (so I wrote it as platonic), so here’s some cr*ck but it’s LEGAL because it ends in fic (don’t do drugs guys, I’m serious)

Oh yeah this is for @breannasfluff btw ik you said nvm but I wanted to anyways

Pre LU btw

——————

Link bit his lip in confusion when he looked at the sight in front of him, “Ravio?” 

No response.

“Ravio?” The fairy chimed again.

No response.

“Listen!” Link tried again, blinking in surprise when the housemate in question looked up, “Why is there a boat in my house?” 

“Well,” The other fairy looked up, as if staring right through Link’s skeptical gaze, “I just had so much profit, what better way to spend it, than on a boat?” He looked down at the hole in the wood, the patching clearly stood unfinished, “Maybe I need to up my prices.”

Or maybe you shouldn’t buy a boat, the adventurer bit back that thought, he earned that money fair and square after all, maybe I should start charging him for rent though, “And what are you planning to do with the boat?” 

The green wings glowed in excitement, “I’m going to take it out to the lake -once it’s repaired- want to come with?” 

Link should have said ‘no’. Link should have said ‘no there is a very obvious hole in it’, but his head clearly disagreed, nodding up and down, “…sure.” Hylia, Goddesses, whoever, I will actually have faith in you if you destroy this boat here and now.

Clearly, nobody answered. 

The day that the boat outing arrived, Link was, in his opinion, far from prepared. How could he be so stupid to bring nothing?

Yet, he got into the boat anyway, “I hope you patched this up.” His heart spiked when the other fairy let a… nervous chime, to say the least. Please don’t let me drown here.

The water was still, which was considered surprising compared to the typically uncontrollable waters, “You know, the last time I got into a boat I was struck by lightning?” 

The other fairy looked up, the green light in his wings brightening with interest, “How did you survive?” 

Link only smiled, “I’m not sure actually,” he tapped onto the boat, a rhythmic beat, “All I know it was the weirdest dream of my life.”  The tapping halted as he tapped his foot, noticing water splash onto his leg.

“Are you sure the hole was properly patched?” 

Ravio grinned, “Nope.” 

The boat sank deeper and deeper into the water, “I swear, am going to drown you!” 

[lovejosephquinn]

Could you do a Joseph Quinn x female reader smut where he makes her squirt for the first time

I'm beyond obsessed with how thirsty I'm making all of you, that is quite clear from the requests I keep getting for Joe x Reader smut. I'm not complaining btw 😈

Am I correct in assuming that Joe has a purely naughty and insanely filthy side though? Yes ok. 💀

UNDER 18'S DNI TYSM.

Joe had you right where he wanted you in that moment, you straddled on his lap grinding at his bare thigh, his hands squeezed your arse cheeks, indenting them causing marks with his fingertips, holding you down further for you to really feel the benefit. You were creating wet patches all along his leg whilst you threw your head back in pure bliss.

"I'm going to make you cum so hard for me tonight."

That only pushed you along further, your head landing down onto his shoulder as you bit down onto it, the friction underneath feeling more intense by the second.

Joe halted you by placing his hands on his hips. "Enough, get on your back for me." You tried to ignore his order, pushing your hips back and forth like your life depended on it.

"Do as I say you ignorant little brat, on your fucking back before I make you."

Taking no notice and disobeying Joe's dominance for the last time, he lifted you from where you hovered and tossed you down beside him, leaning over you and taking your throat in a tight grip. You almost heard growling under his gravelly tone.

"Are you going to carry on being a disobedient slut, or are you going to be the good fucking girl I know and do as I say?"

Joe grasped your cheeks, pushing them inward to make your mouth open and spat directly into your mouth, you could of almost cum where you laid alone from the commands.

You nodded, his hand returning to your throat as he crashed his lips onto yours, not showing a hint of passion, pure lust was all there was to be seen. His tongue lapped around yours and then you felt it. His thumb started to rub brutally against your throbbing clit, putting as much pressure as he could on it making you yelp into his mouth.

He broke the kiss and sat up, leaning over to your nightstand and getting your vibrator out of your draw, it was one you'd bought recently, and you'd made the mistake of telling Joe how good it made you orgasm one time, he obviously didn't forget.

"W-what are you doing with that?" your cheeks flushed.

"I'm going to watch you squirm whilst it attacks your cunt, if you attempt to close your legs if it gets too sensitive, I'm going to choke you again, okay?"

He didn't even give you a second to adjust, pulling apart your pussy lips and ploughing it straight where it felt best. The electricity filled you from head to toe, your hands dug into the sheets beneath you, and you bit down onto your lip, stifling the scream that was aching to come out.

He turned it up, press by press the intensity grew, at first, he traced it in light circles, then Joe began to push down harder, paying close attention to the side of you it hit which you seemed to respond to most.

His eyes bulged from his sockets as he used his free hand to jerk his throbbing cock, watching you writhe below, your eyes were rolling to the back of your head. Your thighs started to close the gap between them, but you stopped yourself when you realised.

"Close call, there's the well disciplined whore I know."

His almost evil cackle of laughter saw him moving the vibrator down to your hole and a few seconds later brought it back up until you arched your back, every one of your moans bounced off the four walls around you and it felt like your soul was leaving your body, like you were so close but so far away.

"Fuck yes, you're taking it so well baby, it's making me leak so much pre-cum, shit you're such a good fucking girl."

You almost couldn't take anymore but that brought you even closer when he decided to slam two fingers inside of you, the vibrator causing so much tension on your bud but the feeling of his thick fingers that curled up inside of you made you lose it completely.

"I-I-I'm going to c-"

Joe pulled his fingers out, taking them in his mouth to taste you as he pressed down as hard as he could on your stimulated cunt, you screamed his name as you made the mess of your life, fluid flying everywhere, not only did you cum, you squirted erratically, the vibrator slipped around your clit crazily due to how wet through it was with your juices, making Joe's mouth fall open, a huge smirk falling onto his face.

"Oh my god Y/N, oh my good god."

Your chest was heaving as Joe threw the vibrator to the other side of the bed, slamming his cock straight inside of your gaping hole.

He thrusted as fast and as hard as he possibly could, the feeling of his thick cock clenched by your walls made the sensitivity of what had just occurred even greater. Leaning down to buck into you deeper, you clawed at Joe's back and latched your mouth onto his neck. "Shit, I'm going to cum already, you see what you fucking do to me, you see that you squirting has made my cock burst."

He let himself go in you, you could hear his heart thumping, his breath screeching as he moaned clearly and directly into your ear, his orgasm came fast but that was all down to seeing you losing it like you did.

[blair-the-juggalho]

Guess who's back lmao. I had another idea and you're one of my favourite twdg writers so I came back. First up, take as long as you need on this, attend to any requests that came before mine before feeling the need to write this.

(Twdg season 1)

You know how after the Motel is attacked, Lilly shoots Carley/Doug? (S1) What if there was like a young pre-teen/teen reader (say, somewhere from 11 to 13.) and whoever Lilly aimed for, she either accidentally missed or the reader protected carley/doug, and the bullet hit the reader in the shoulder/arm (so not fatal just a bit like "bruh"). What would the reactions of the motel gang be? taking into consideration Lilly just shot a literal child 🤣

(I'm sorry if this is oddly specific but I had the idea with it and in your rules you asked for as much specification as possible) if any of this doesn't make sense feel free to ask me because I kind of rambled lmao. If you can't do this for any reason or you struggle to, i completely understand. Have a good day!

Ty! And yeh I do really appreciate the specifics and tysm for all of that yer totally so sweet!!! <<<333

Hope this will do, lovely!!!!

TWDG season 1 group reacting to Lily shooting (but not killing!) a preteen!reader

Lee

To say this man was pissed was an understatement

He didn’t care if Lilly meant it for someone else 1. There was no need to shoot an innocent person and 2. You just fucking shot a kid!

Idc what way you played with part wether you let her stay or no there is no was lee would let her come with you guys after that

After kicking Lilly to the curb he’d go back to you and gently carry you back to the RV before finding anything he can to patch you up

He’s so stressed and annoyed!

He wishes he could’ve gone back in time and changed it

He will fully take care of you till you make a full recovery!

He’d go through hell and back to get any medical supplies you need too<3

Kenny

He too was so pissed!

Like he’s shouting and screaming at Lilly

It’s by gods mercy that he didn’t shoot her

He tells everyone to help you get inside and find anything to stop the bleeding

I don’t have to say this because it’s obvious but he’s not letting her come with the group

As you all drive away he keeps shouting and cursing

It’s not very helpful but it’s all he can really do

Katjaa keeps telling him to calm down but yk that’s not gonna happen

He keeps a close eye on you while you recover and he gets a little (a fucking lot) over protective of you

Katjaa

She wasn’t there too see you get shot but as soon as she heard the gun shot she panicked

She put duck down in a chair and told him to stay calm and not too look

Once she saw you she started tearing up

She felt so bad for you!

She’d tell everyone to keep calm as she tried to bandage your wounds

She’d be at your side 100% of the time and would make sure your as comfortable as you can be

Duck

He also didn’t see everything go down but this kid was so upset

You where one of his best friends (mainly because there where only two other kids in the group, one being you) and he was you you bleeding and in so much pain!

He was already bit and seeing you shot made it so much worse :(

He was willing to share any supplies you needed to help you recover btw!

He’d do anything for his amazing best friend!

He couldn’t really help you out at all or even take your mind of it because he was too sick to do anything

But he’d use any energy he did have to ask if your ok or make a silly joke <:)

Clementine

She was traumatised oml

She saw her best friend get shot

She screamed and burst out into tears!

Lee told her to closer her eyes and not look at you while they patched you up, but she didn’t want to leave your side

So she stood in a place where you could see her and closed her eyes, every so often taking a peek and giving you a sympathetic smile

After you got bandaged up she’s stay by you and got you whatever you wanted

This one time the group stopped off to get some supplies are they came back to see her routing threw all the cupboards

“What are you doing, clem?” -group member

“I’m trying to find a snack for (name)! They wanted one :(“

Lilly

She felt so bad!

She didn’t mean to shoot you!

She totally froze, unable to say or do anything

Before the group forced her to leave and everyone inside she gave you one final look of worry and regret

She knew that leaving the group was the best thing for them and she wishes that you survive the shooting

That always sticks with her, the guilt may of died down after a few years but the memory never leaves

She always stills wonders if you made it

And if you wanna drag this idea to season 4 she will definitely bring it up to clem

Doug

He totally freaked!

He felt so bad!

That bullet was meant for him (and ben) and yet you got shot :(

The guilt he felt was something he was never going to live down.

This man would risk death to get you any supplies you need for your recovery, it’s the least he can do.

It’s so obvious he feels bad like when Katjaa was patching you up he couldn’t look at you for more than a second

After your recovery he tries and shows you how grateful he is!

He’d either tell you that you where one brave kid and he’s very thankful for that

And/or he’d find you some old teddy that he’d think you’d like!

Carley

Like Doug she felt so bad!

She was shocked at first but then anger took over and she started screaming at Lilly

She helped you get inside and find anything to patch you up

All the time ever during your recovery you could hear her angrily shit talking Lilly for what she did to you

Like Doug, she was obviously a little guilty and would tell you that she was grateful of what you did but she wouldn’t let the guilt consume her forever

But she’s always looking out for you now more than ever

Ben

This poor dude was too shocked to do anything!

He just watched in horror

This was all because of him (and Lilly) but he felt so much guilt!

He never stopped feeling guilty

He doesn’t know what to do at all

He does get you anything you need!

But he just can’t look at you :(

It probably takes him a good few months just to be able to look at you

The only thing you can really get out of him is

“…so uh how are you?”

He just don’t know what to do he wishes he could just go back and stop all of this