#this is peak vinnie for me. absolute peak vinnie hotness

[plussizedreader]

Heat Wave (Bo Sinclair X Reader)

When a extreme heat wave comes through Ambrose and the AC broken, Bo gets an idea to cool each other off.

(If this seems familiar, It's because I am rewriting a Bo piece I wrote a few years ago that I posted on my main account! I hope you all enjoy, please please let me know what you think!)

Warnings- Suggestive themes, no actual smut, but if you like this I will absolutely make a part two!

The day had actually been rather normal in Ambrose, quiet and lifeless, and extremely hot. Vincent was hard at work with another figure, which left you and Bo to yourselves, sweating your asses off. A fan blew full force in your shared room, though, it did very little against the Louisiana heat. While normally the house and most of the town would be nice and cool, the AC system had suddenly busted, at the peak of the heat wave. While Lester was in the tunnels, working on getting the air blowing, it left the rest of you hot, sweaty, and miserable. Now, you found yourself in bed, laying next to Bo, your head resting on his chest, your hair up in a ponytail, and an arm around Bo, the both of you motionless, save for the small shifting to try to get comfortable.

“God, how are the museum and figures handling this heat?” You grumbled, looking up at Bo, who only shrugged.

“I don’t know, ask Vinny, he has all that figured out.” He replied, running a hand through his sweat soaked hair, before he started to sit up, gently shoving you off of him, and sat up, glaring daggers at the shitty box fan that was sat up on a stand, blowing at full blast.

“Is that damn thing even blown’?” Bo groaned, sweat dripping down his face, and down his nose.

“You know it’s workin’ as hard as it can, that thing can only do so much!” You sat up as well, looking at Bo, who was now messing with the fan, more likely to break it than to actually fix it.

After a moment of poking around at the fan, and Bo smacking it a few times in frustration, the damned thing gave a final sputter and stopped spinning. You both groaned, Bo standing up, cursing up a storm. You both sat there for a moment, unsure of what to do now, before Bo stomped over to the wooden nightstand next to your shared bed and snatched his truck keys up.

“Get up. We gonna get out of this house.” He grunted, grabbing one of his many hats and shoving it onto his head before he stalked towards the doorway, and turning back to look at you expectantly. Taking a moment to stretch, you stood up, and followed him.

“I won’t argue with that, but where are we goin’?” You asked, following Bo out of the room and down the stairs, and eventually out of the house.

“Swimmin’. There’s a pond not too far out of town, and it’ll cool us down.” He said as ya’ll reached his truck, simply nodding in response.You pulled the door open and climbed in, slamming the door shut as he also climbed into the truck. The truck rumbled to life as you rolled your own window down as he drove off, the rushing air giving some relief to the two of you, as well as the truck ac blowing at full blast. The drive was rather short, and soon the two of you were sitting in front of the pond, the sun’s light reflecting off the pond’s surface. Without a word, Bo turned off the truck and got out of the truck, and immediately pulled his shirt off, revealing his toned body. You exited the truck next watching as he shed the shorts he wore, his bare ass out, before he waddled into the water. You stood there, amused as he turned to look back at you.

“Skinny dipping? Was this just an elaborate plan to get me naked?” You asked, still amused, as you crossed your arms over your large chest. He shrugged innocently, a shit eating grin on his face as he stood in the water.

“Not at first, but it’s a hell of a bonus while we cool off, ain’t it?” You smiled, and shook your head before you decided to join him. You stripped off your tank top and shorts, leaving yourself bare as you too walked into the water, swimming out to meet him. Taking a moment, you took a deep breath, and quickly, you dunked your head under the water, emerging and exhaling. You looked at Bo, smiling again.

“Damn good idea, I’d say.” You said after a moment of simply floating there in the water, enjoying the cool water that surrounded you. He looked at you with a lopsided grin, and shrugged. He swam closer to you, before he wrapped his arms around your waist underwater, squeezing the soft and voluminous flesh.

“Hm, ya’ know I tend to have those from time to time.” He said, before he leaned in and kissed your neck, nipping and sucking at it, as you sighed, allowing your head to roll to the side slightly. Bo never let up, moving downwards to your chest, his hands below the water continued to knead and squeeze the soft and ample body that he was just obsessed with.

“B-Bo… Bo if we keep going here we’ll end up drowning..” You gasped out after a moment, grabbing Bo’s hand to stall one of his hands, which was now resting high on your inner thigh, inching closer to your core. He groaned into your chest, but stopped.

“I hate when you’re right.” He removed his hands and lips from your body, and instead, before you had much time to react, his hands swept you up, and started carrying you out of the water, a startled cry that morphed into laughing as he brought you onto shore. Instead of dropping you, he continued to carry you back to the truck, and gently set you back inside. He quickly picked up your discarded clothes as you watched him, confused.

“Are we leaving? The bed of the truck is just fine with me!” Bo shook his head, pulling shorts back on, and tossed your clothes to you.

“And let it burn you? Nope, I ain’t gonna let that happen.” He shook, returning to the truck, and slamming his door shut. You wanted to roll your eyes but couldn’t.

“I hate it when you’re right.” You grumbled, before you shrugged back on your tank top, which now stuck to your wet skin. You went to pull your shorts back on but Bo stopped you, before he waved you over to him as he started the truck. You slid closer to him, up against his side. He started the truck, and pulled away from the pond. It was quiet for a moment, save for the sound of the AC, and the radio playing quietly.

“You gonna let me put my shorts back on?” You asked after a moment, watching Bo shake his head no.

“Oh no sweetheart, I plan to have a lot of fun with you, can’t have those getting in the way..”

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

CONGRATULATIONS STAR!!!

I would like to put in a request 🙋🏻‍♀️

could you do Payback with the “you can take it” smut prompt??

Hi Vinny! You absolutely can request Payback smut! I had a lot of fun with this one and it kinda ran away with me. Sufficed to say I did not meet my 1K word goal. This one is loooong. Love you Vin! @sarahsmi13s  🥰 😘 🥰 😘

Small Town Problems

It’s a hot, sticky, humid day as you step out of your car in front of the barn where your town is hosting their Fourth of July celebration. You heft out the basket containing your Mama’s Macaroni and cheese casserole from the backseat and lock the car as you make your way into the barn. You’re wearing a light gingham sundress, and you can feel sweat dribble down the small of your back with each step you take. The sun’s rays are blisteringly hot, sizzling down until you’re aching for a tall icy glass of lemonade or sweet tea. It’s a relief when you step into the colossal barn. 

It’s only 5 minutes past 5 pm, but you’re already getting side eyes from all the ladies, your mama’s age and older, as you carefully pick your way through the assembled crowd. Their gimlet gaze sears into you as you walk towards the buffet. Their whispers follow you like the plague. You can see your mama’s best friend and your godmother, Delilah ‘Lily’ Fitch waiting near the buffet. She’s your Aunt Lily, and you’ll do anything for her, even coming into town when you can’t stand it. Not since you left the town hero at the altar years ago.

Your families had understood. Your jilted fiance had understood. Hell, Aunt Lily understood, and the man you’d stood up had been her son! But your town never forgot. In truth, as much as you’d loved Reuben, you were only eighteen. Both of you were young; kids who were trying to appease a whole town while trying not to lose each other. Reuben had been able to leave after the wedding fell through, forging a career and reputation for himself, painting himself as the hero while you’d been stuck in the petri dish of gossip and ill will your town became while caring for your mama as her illness progressed. And you were still stuck in that same town a decade later. 

“Aunt Lily!” You don’t have to fake your smile as you set your basket on a clear bit of the long picnic table groaning with food and heft the casserole dish out, setting it in a line with all the others. More likely than not, you'll be taking it home untouched and eating it for the next week. That's what happened at the last town gathering. And the one before that. You shove the basket under the table cloth and fall eagerly into her embrace. 

Aunt Lily always smells like lavender and freesia. She's been wearing the same perfume since you and Reuben were born, and that's one of your strongest scent memories. You can still remember rolling around in the grass with Reuben under the giant Magnolia tree in her backyard while your mama and Aunt Lily had sipped on their tea, the scent of lavender, magnolia blossoms and wisteria floating over the breeze.

"How're you doing, Chickadee?"

"I'm alright, Aunt Lily."

"Are you sure? You're looking a little peaked." Her hands flutter across your brow, checking your temperature before drawing your arm into the crook of her elbow and leading you to the refreshments table. She pours you a glass of sweet tea and waits with eagle eyes until you've drunk a few sips of it before leading you towards the open picnic area. The smell of Carolina barbeque lies rich in the air, the scent of roasting meat, smoke, salt, sugar, and vinegar melding into something that you'll never get tired of.

"Where are we going, Auntie?" Your voice is sweet as you crane your head to see who your aunt is leading you to.

"I know you probably don't want to hear it, but Reuben's back in town. He's on leave. And I thought you'd like to see him again?" Her tone is coy as she drags you along.

Your feet stop moving at her words, your good mood draining away. No wonder everyone was glaring and whispering more than they usually do. The golden boy was back in town, and the best way to celebrate? With a witch burning. You can already see Reuben's tall, broad form under the oak trees to the side. He's laughing with some guys you've both known your entire life, and you can hear the richness of it the closer you get.

"Aunt Lily. Please. Please, I can't."

Your pleas fall on deaf ears as she leads you right to him.

“Hey, Mama!” He's always loved his mama, so you're not surprised at all that his eyes skate over you in your best, but still old, gingham dress. What is surprising is that his eyes come right back to you.

"Hey, Chickadee. How've you been? I heard about your mama. I'm sorry for your loss."

Mama Lily's pushed you closer to him, and you can't avoid the awkward half side hug Reuben squishes you into. He smells like clean linen and summer.

"I'm doing alright. Thank you for your condolences. Mama was really proud of you, you know? She adored hearing all the stories from Aunt Lily about you." Your smile is soft as you peer into his face. He's grinning back down at you. And you know why you let things with him go all the way to a wedding. He's always made you feel like nobody else ever has. You’re not surprised to see all his football buddies melt away as the two of you get to chatting again. You were never very popular at school. The only person you ever wanted to hang out with was Reuben.

“So what have you been up to since the last time I saw you?” He’s smiling shyly at you. You can still see the ghost of the gap-toothed boy you’d loved with all your heart in that smile.

“It’s been a decade, Reuben.” Your chuckle is wry and unamused. “I’m the same as always. I took college classes online and graduated while making sure that Mama was comfortable. After she passed, I’ve been helping Aunt Lily make jams, jellies, and preserves for the store.”

You sigh, looking out at the assembled town, most of whom still gaze curiously at Reuben and you under the oak trees. “I’m still the social pariah, the stupid slattern who let the town’s golden boy slip through her fingers. You're the Naval Aviator, the hero. The boy who could do no wrong turned into the man who could save the world if he chose.”

When his hand clasps around your upper arm, you startle, grimacing at the ever-so-slightly too firm grip.

"What're you doing, Reuben?" Your pleas fall on deaf ears as he drags you away from the picnic through the oak grove. You can probably guess where he's going. The two of you had spent hours there hiding from your responsibilities and the world as children. It was where you'd fallen in love, where you'd lost your virginities to each other and where your entire life had blown up in flames. The small creek winding through the old oak grove at the center of town looks just as you remember. You can hear the faint burbling of the water as Reuben tugs you towards the flat topped boulder on the bank. This was where your childhood happened. This is where you grew up. And this is where you’re staring at the only man you’ve ever loved.

“What do you mean, stupid slattern? Chickadee, we were only eighteen. And we loved each other, but we weren’t getting married for the right reasons. You know that. I know that.” His chest heaves as he cards his hands through his hair.

“Our breakup? The fallout of our relationship? Was as much on you as it was on me!”

“Oh, yeah? Then why was it that they all blamed me? Why was it all on me? You had an entire life you were building!” You’re in his face now, pressing your finger into his sternum with each word. “I was left here. Taking care of the only family I had left. And I left you at the altar. You didn’t agree to my decision until we were standing here hours after the dust settled.”

Your chest is heaving too, and you’re close. So close to him. You can see the emotion swimming in his eyes when he surges forward and kisses you. You gasp, arms wrapping around his neck as he kisses you like you’re the air he needs to breathe. His hands ruck up the skirt of your dress, cupping your ass as he tips you onto the boulder’s surface. 

“I’ve missed you. So fucking much, Chickadee. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. And I hate that I let you talk me into letting you go. I wanted you to come with me.” His hands are soft as he drags your panties down your legs, leaving the fabric hooked on one ankle. You can feel the clink of his belt buckle as he frees his cock from the constraining fabric.

“Gonna show you how much I love you. You can take it. And then I’m going to take you back to that barbeque and show that whole town that you aren’t what they think you are.”

His tongue is hot against your throat as he traces his blunt fingers over your aching slit before plunging his cock in. It’s rough and frantic as the two of you claw at each other chasing mutual release. Each hard press of his length has you seeing stars, your legs wrapped wantonly around his slim hips as he rails into you.

“Gonna cum, sweetheart.” His voice is a barely suppressed growl as you drag him into a kiss and fall over the cliff of your orgasm in his arms. It takes you far too long to come back to yourself, and it’s to the feeling of damp fabric dabbing at your core.

“Reuben?” Your voice is hoarse as you murmur his name.

“Hey, Chickadee. Just cleaning you up.” His tongue sticks endearingly out of the corner of his mouth as he draws your panties back up your legs. “There you are, baby.” 

You can’t believe that he’s real. You can’t resist kissing him one more time as the two of you walk back to the barbeque. Right before you’re before the town’s eyes, he pulls you against his chest and whispers, “If you’re good, Chickadee, I’m going to marry you. And this time, I’m not letting you go. Not ever again.”

Maybe this one time you can forgive your Aunt Lily for her meddling.

Want to request something for my 100 Follower Celebration? The guidelines are here! Please leave me a request in my inbox with your ask!

- XOXO Star

[landosmclaren]

[lokis-army-77]

Surprise for You

Eddie Munson x female reader

Word Count: 2604

The Reader has gotten her nipples pierced and comes to surprise Eddie. He is impatient and wants to touch them but he can't. So one thing leads to another and he ends up eating her out.

Warning: 18+ Nipple piercings, oral (f receiving), dom!eddie, vaginal fingering, squirting. use of princess, sweetheart, and one sweetness. The tiniest bit of mechanic!eddie

A/N: Inspired by this post by @love-toxin because I think it's hot and I also have mine done so..

Part 2 Masterlist (Taglist linked here)

It was on a whim that I had done it. One afternoon, without telling anyone, I drove myself over to the tattoo parlor and got my nipples pierced. Although it was more for myself than anyone else, I knew that Eddie, my boyfriend, would go absolutely wild for them. 

Even though I knew he would be crazy about the piercings, I couldn’t help but wring the bottom of my shirt in nervousness when walking through his trailer to surprise him. I had just waltzed in, having a key of my own and knowing he was most likely jamming out on his guitar in his room and wouldn’t be able to hear me if I knocked. 

When I walked through to his bedroom, I realized I was right as the sound of him practicing the guitar solo from the song Lifeforce on the recently released Vinnie Moore ‘Mind’s Eye’ album. He was really getting into the feel of the music, so much so that he hadn’t realized I had walked in and was now sitting behind him on his bed. 

When he was finally finished playing through the parts of the song he knew he turned around, almost flinging himself out of his seat in surprise at my being there. 

“Shit, Princess, don’t sneak up on me like that. ‘Bout made me have a heart attack.” He scolded, although smiling, as he stood up and gave me a short peck on the lips before going to hang his B. C. Rich up above his dresser. “How was your day?” He asks, coming to plop down next to me, pulling me into him as he laid down. 

I winced a tiny bit, expecting his hands to hit the brand new piercings, but they didn’t. I snuggled in closer to him, placing my hands atop his on my stomach. 

“My day was good. I actually got something today that I’ve been wanting and it also doubles as a surprise for you.” I smiled.

He leaned up on his elbow to look over my body at my face. I giggled as his hair fell down and tickled my nose and cheek. “A surprise?” His eyebrows rose with his question.

“Yeah, do you wanna see?” I turned slightly so I could see him easier. 

“Do I ever.” He was giddy as he sat up, waiting on me to show him his surprise. 

I laughed at his excitement. “Okay, but you have to close your eyes until I tell you, okay Eds?”

Quickly he closed his eyes, squeezing them tight. I shook my head at him with a smirk ghosting my lips. Standing to my feet, I planted myself directly in front of him, almost between his spread legs at the edge of the bed. Gently I took off my t-shirt and bra, shivering as the cooler air met the skin of my very sensitive nipples causing them to harden into stiff peaks. The two little barbels glinted in the yellow lighting of the room, making me smile, still not able to believe I had actually gone and gotten this done.

“You ready?” I questioned, still a little nervous about what he would think. 

“I’m so ready.” He was practically vibrating in his seat. 

“Okay then, open up.” I stood there, bare prested in the middle of his room, arms held behind my back so my chest would stick out a bit more as I presented him with the two new piercings. 

Eddie snapped his eyes open immediately. “Shit,” he breathed, eyes widening as the saw the tiny metal balls hugging against my nipples. “Fuck, princess, you got your nipples pierced?” He began to reach his hand out to touch one of them but I quickly slapped his hand away.

“No touching for a while. Got to let them heal.” I tutted. 

“Damn,” He let out a long huff. “How long?” 

“At least six months. Could be more, could be less. It all depends on how my body heals.” 

“Fuck baby, six months? I can’t wait that long.” Eddie grabbed at my hips, bringing me closer to him, slotting me between his legs. 

“I know, you are such an impatient person Eddie Munson.” I kissed his lips softly. 

When I pulled back his eyes went immediately to my breasts, inspecting them more closely. I watched him intently, as he swallowed thickly and licked his lips. “I just wanna touch them so bad.” 

“I know.” I played with the hair falling over his shoulders. “Maybe I’ll let you help clean them, but you’ll have to wash those grimy mechanic hands of yours.” 

“Hey, my hands aren’t grimy.” He scoffed looking up at me. 

“Really, Eds?” I just laughed.

“Really, but I guess I can scrub them down for you.” He smirked.

“Ever the gentleman aren’t you?”

“I try.” He shrugged his shoulders going back to admiring the piercings. “God, that's so fucking hot.” 

His hands were rough on my hips as he pulled me into his lap, placing them around to hold onto my back, keeping me steady on him. I shivered at the feeling of his cold rings on my skin. Slowly as to not disturb the sensitive flesh, he began to place soft kisses along the skin of my breasts, mindful to keep away from the piercings. 

“I’ll just have to settle for this then.” He murmured against my skin. 

My fingers slipped into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly. “Careful Eddie,” A short breathless moan left my mouth. I couldn’t help it as my hips began to buck against his lap, searching for anything to help relieve the pressure building in my stomach. 

As I ground down on him, I gasped at the feeling of his hard cock, the head just barely grazing my clothed clit. Eddie moaned, pushing my hips with his hands, aiding in my movements. 

“Fuck, princess.” He began to kiss up my sternum straight to my neck. 

“Need to feel you,” I whimpered as my nipples barely brushed against his Metallica shirt. The constant dull throbbing around the piercings sent a pained shock to my stomach as I pulled away from him letting out a cry in shock. 

Eddie stopped his movements immediately, pulling back further and reaching for my face with one of his hands. “You okay, Sweetheart?” 

I nodded, eyes watering. “Yeah, I’m okay, just accidentally pressed them up against you.” I leaned down to meet his lips, giving him a sweet kiss, so grateful for his caring nature. “Think I need to put my bra back on, the pressure helps with the ache. 

“Whatever you want, Sweetness, although I’ll be sad to see the girls go.” He chuckled, leaning back on the bed to grab at my bra which I had thrown up there earlier. 

I carefully pulled the bra on, sighing at the tiny bit of relief it brought. Eddie’s hands rubbed soothing circles on my back as he watched me, waiting patiently.

“Do you still want to?” he asked, the question fading off before he finished.

“Yeah, just go slow. I don’t think my boobs need to be jostled around too much.” I gave him confirmation as if my hips beginning to grind down on him again wasn’t clue enough. 

“I can do that.” 

Eddie slowly laid back on the bed, bringing me with him, then carefully moved to where I was laying under him. He slotted his hand behind my neck, pulling me up to kiss my lips deeply before crawling down my body and unbuttoning the top of my skinny jeans. 

Goosebumps appeared on my skin as he slowly slid the fabric down my legs. “Eddie,” I breathed, reaching out for him. “Need to feel you.”

“Don’t worry, Princess, you will here in a second.” He had thrown my jeans somewhere in the room and was now looping his fingers through the elastic of my panties and pulling them down and off as well.

I moved uncomfortably as the air hit my hot cunt, a shiver ran up my spine. Eddie, taking his time, traced his fingers up and down my legs, spreading them inch by inch until he was able to position himself between them fully. 

His lips joined his fingers, trailing open mouth kissed along my inner thighs all the way up to there the apex, yet he did not place a kiss on where I needed him most. My hips moved on their own as he placed another kiss so close to my cunt yet not close at all. His hands wrapped around my legs and held me in place. 

“Quit moving or I won't give you what you want.” His voice was rough but not as domineering as it usually was when we had sex.

“No, no, please. I won’t move, just please touch me.” It was so easy for me to beg under him, pleading with him to destroy me. 

“Will you? Will you be a good girl for me?” He questioned, eyebrows raised.

“Yes,” I whimpered, “Always you’re a good girl.” 

At that, I placed one last kiss on my thigh before unhooking his right hand from around my leg and bringing his fingers up to proud at my weeping slit. Eddie had barely touched me and I was as wet as I had ever been. I let out a long satisfied moan when his middle finger finally slipped into the heat of my cunt. 

“So fucking needy aren’t you? You so wet, did showing me your new piercings make you all horny, Princess?” Eddie teased as he took his finger out of my entrance and swirled it up and around my throbbing clit. 

“Mmhm.” I nodded as he continued to circle my clit torturously slowly. 

As I relaxed into his touch, he brought his head closer, his hair tickling my thighs. “I can’t wait to have you under me, writhing as I play with those pretty little nipples. Bet they’ll be even more sensitive than they used to be. Fuck.” Eddie groaned into my skin before licking a long hot stripe up my cunt. 

“Ah! Eddie.” His name came out like a cry from my lungs. One of my hands flung down to capture his hair, pushing him further into my pussy. 

The hand that had been rubbing my cunt snapped up, gripping my wrist, pulling my hand away from him. He pulled away, and I whined at the loss of his tongue lapping at my juices. 

“That wasn’t very nice of you, Sweetheart.” He tsks. “I’m going easy on you because you’re healing, so don’t push your luck. Of do you want me to cuff you to the bed? Hum?” 

“M’sorry Eddie.” I moved my hands up over my head, looking at him through heavy eyes. 

“Don’t do it again,” he chided then dove right back into my cunt. 

I held the pillow at my head like a vice, knowing that the extraordinary pleasure Eddie was bringing me would cause me to try and push him further into me again. 

The feel of his tongue flat on my clit had me arching my back and whimpering at the sudden throbbing of my nipples. The near-constant soreness and discomfort aided in my arousal. I could feel my excitement gushing out and so could Eddie as he moaned into me. He had traveled down further, delving his tongue into my hole, drinking me up. 

Every little moan and hum he made against my skin sent a vibration through my cunt deep within my core, pushing my elevatable orgasm closer. 

“Fuck,” I mewled as he moved back up to continuously cuck and nip at my clit while he inserted both his middle and ring fingers into me, working me up. 

I couldn’t help but almost scream when Eddie curled those two fingers up into the spongy walls of my cunt, massaging them the way he know would have me cumming within seconds. My hands gripped the pillow harder and I tried to keep from thrashing about. 

“Please, so close.” The words came out in a moan deep from my gut as I felt my cunt contracting around his deft fingers. 

He added his index finger next, fucking them faster up into me. My legs shook, clamping around his head as the sensations were starting to become too much. The knot in my stomach was slowly snapping and soon it would break. 

“Eddie! Fuck! Shit, shit, shit, shit. I’m cumming.” I wailed, tears prickling in my eyes as I tried to hold my pleasure back. 

Eddie pushed my right leg off his head so he could pull away from my clit with a sloppy pop sound. “Hold it for just a second, Princess. Hold it for me.” 

“Can’t, s’too much.” My words were sharp as he continued to drive his fingers in at a great speed. 

“Yes, you can.” He said as he placed his other hand on my clit and started to rub it almost lightning fast. 

I was screaming now, tears overflowing from my tightly shut eyes. I couldn’t hold on any longer. “Please. Eddie, please I-I need to cu-um now.” I was almost choking on my moans and it was near impossible to get those words out. 

“Okay. You can let go now.” He gave his permission, still focused on stimulating my cunt. 

My body went taut, back arching in an almost exorcist-like way. Every muscle in me was unyielding, keeping me locked up as I came, a surge of my juices spraying out over Eddie and his bed. 

The wet, sloshing sound of Eddie’s fingers still pounding into me pervaded the air as I continued to squirt. Guttural screams left my body as the pleasure became absolutely too much. My hands shot down to his, pushing him away from my sensitive cunt. 

Breathing was hard as I came down to earth again from being so high in the clouds. They were jagged and sharp like I had just finished running a marathon. My limbs felt like jelly, limply falling to the bed with no more strength to hold them up. 

Eddie ran his calloused hands along my skin, calming my body and its random after-sex spasms. He eventually crawled up the bed to look at my face, smiling down at me he gave me a tender kiss. 

“You did amazing, Sweetheart. Did so good for me.” Another kiss, his hands tangled in my hair. 

I was tired now, completely fucked out and exhausted. I tried to snuggle up to him as he continued to pepper my face with small kisses. 

“Let's get you cleaned up, okay?” 

“Okay.” I smiled. 

“And while we’re at it I can clean these too.” He smirked, placing a kiss on the top of each breast.” 

I groaned. “I mean it, Eddie, you have to wash your hands really really good. I don’t want you giving me an infection.” 

He lifted his hands defensively. “I won't. I promise to wash them extra good.” 

“Fine.” 

Eddie stood from the bed and went bounding out of the room. 

“Wait, Eddie come back,” I called out, listening for his footsteps. His head popped around the doorframe almost instantly. 

“Yeah?” 

“I bought some saline solution to clean them with, it’s on the couch in the grocery bag. Get it and some q-tips too.” 

“Alrighty, I’ll be right back.”

Laying back in Eddie’s bed I couldn’t help but think what the next six months would bring, what would happen once the piercings could be played with. I shook my head, toes curling at the mental image. 

I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Eddie Taglist: @loveofmylife12@ellabellabus07@wickedwitchofwest@siriusstwelveyears@ameliakf13 @milly-louise @darkscrossfire @harrypotter-posts @dedeinspire @ccosmic-illusion @eddiesbirdie @castiels-gracex @luvwanda @whimsywisher @wool-hat7 @callsignthunder

[the-big-dogg]

Something I just found on Facebook about Australia 🇦🇺 ❤

AUSTRALIA: AN AMERICAN VIEW...

Interesting set of observations from a visitor from the other side of the Pacific. ‘Value what you have and don't give it away.' There's a lot to admire about Australia, especially if you're a visiting American, says David Mason. More often than you might expect, Australian friends patiently listening to me enthuse about their country have said, ''We need outsiders like you to remind us what we have.'' So here it is - a small presumptuous list of what one foreigner admires in Oz.

1. Health care. I know the controversies, but basic national healthcare is a gift. In America, medical expenses are a leading cause of bankruptcy. The drug companies dominate politics and advertising.

Obama was crucified for taking halting baby steps towards sanity. You can't turn on the telly without hours of drug advertisements - something I have never yet seen here. And your emphasis on prevention - making cigarettes less accessible, for one - is a model.

2. Food. Yes, we have great food in America too, especially in the big cities. But your bread is less sweet, your lamb is cheaper, and your supermarket vegetables and fruits are fresher than ours.

Too often in my country an apple is a ball of pulp as big as your face.

The dainty Pink Lady apples of Oz are the juiciest I've had. And don't get me started on coffee.

In American small towns it tastes like water flavoured with burnt dirt, but the smallest shop in the smallest town in Oz can make a first-rate latte.

I love your ubiquitous bakeries, your hot-cross buns. Shall I go on?

3. Language. How do you do it?

The rhyming slang and Aboriginal place names like magic spells.

Words that seem vaguely English yet also resemble an argot from another planet.

I love the way institutional names get turned into diminutives - Vinnie's and Salvos - and absolutely nothing is sacred.

Everything's an opportunity for word games and everyone's a nickname.

Lingo makes the world go round.

It's the spontaneous wit of the people that tickles me most.

Late one night at a barbie my new mate Suds remarked, ''Nothing's the same since 24-7.'' Amen.

4. Free-to-air TV. In Oz, you buy a TV, plug it in and watch some of the best programming I have ever seen - uncensored.

In America, you can't get diddly-squat without paying a cable or satellite company heavy fees.

In Oz a few channels make it hard to choose.

In America, you've got 400 channels and nothing to watch.

5. Small shops. Outside the big cities in America corporations have nearly erased them.

Identical malls with identical restaurants serving inferior food.

Except for geography, it's hard to tell one American town from another.

The ''take-away'' culture here is wonderful.

Human encounters are real - stirring happens, stories get told.

The curries are to die for. And you don't have to tip!

6. Free camping. We used to have this too, and I guess it's still free when you backpack miles away from the roads.

But I love the fact that in Oz everyone owns the shore and in many places you can pull up a camper van and stare at the sea for weeks.

I love the ''primitive'' and independent campgrounds, the life outdoors.

The few idiots who leave their stubbies and rubbish behind in these pristine places ought to be transported in chains.

7. Religion. In America, it's everywhere - especially where it's not supposed to be, like politics.

I imagine you have your Pharisees too, making a big public show of devotion, but I have yet to meet one here.

8. Roads. Peak hour aside, I've found travel on your roads pure heaven.

My country's ''freeways'' are crowded, crumbling, insanely knotted with looping overpasses - it's like racing homicidal maniacs on fraying spaghetti.

I've taken the Hume without stress, and I love the Princes Highway when it's two lanes.

Ninety minutes south of Bateman's Bay I was sorry to see one billboard for a McDonald's. It's blocking a lovely paddock view. Someone should remove it.

9. Real multiculturalism. I know there are tensions, just like anywhere else, but I love the distinctiveness of your communities and the way you publicly acknowledge the Aboriginal past.

Recently, too, I spent quality time with Melbourne Greeks, and was gratified both by their devotion to their own great language and culture and their openness to an Afghan lunch.

10. Fewer guns. You had Port Arthur in 1996 and got real in response. America replicates such massacres several times a year and nothing changes.

Why?

Our religion of individual rights makes the good of the community an impossible dream.

Instead of mateship we have ''It's mine and nobody else's'.

We talk a great game about freedom, but too often live in fear.

There's more to say - your kaleidoscopic birds, your perfumed bush in springtime, your vast beaches.

These are just a few blessings that make Australia a rarity.

Of course, it's not paradise - nowhere is - but I love it here.

No need to wave flags like Americans and add to the world's windiness.

Just value what you have and don't give it away.

David Mason is a US writer and professor, and poet laureate of Colorado

[ladyshandioftheendless]

~KISS AU writings 25~

The end has come, babies! I hope it’s been a good read for a first attempt at this kind of subject for me. Enjoy!! Happy birthday, Bruce I love you so much!!

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~EXOTIC DANCER AU Part 8~

Featured Pairing: Bruce Kulick/Paul Stanley

Special Guest Pairing: Ace Frehley/Vinnie Vincent

Summary: Bruce and StarChild finally express their desires to each other..and for each other~ (told from Bruce’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I turn on my stereo while I wait. Listening to music always relaxes me in stressful situations, and boy oh boy was this stressful. I was half expecting myself to say something stupid just greeting him at the door. I lean back against the couch and sigh. I really need to stop thinking like this. I should be happy he’s choosing to come here to see me. I should be happy to have him close to me. I can look into his eyes. Touch his hand. Watch his lips when he talks. And…now I need to stop myself from going too far again. As nice as a drink would be to take a little edge off I don’t want to the open the bottle of champagne until he gets here. I hear knocking and my heart starts racing. 

There he is. 

I get up and go to the door. Slowly. If I rush I just know I’m going to find some way to trip over something. As soon as I see his face..his smile..I want to drop to the floor. “Hello, Brucie~” 

“P-please..come in..” 

Good for me. I only manged to stutter once! I smell his cologne as he brushes past me and it’s amazing. I watch him take off his coat and hang it on the rack next to mine. He’s dressed all in black: a low cut vest, spandex pants and stiletto heeled boots, all decorated with purple stars. I still can’t get over how gorgeous he looks in absolutely anything he wears. I look really basic next to him, in my button up shirt and jeans, but I’m sure it doesn’t matter to him what I wear. He’s not snobbish like that. Not my StarChild~ “I hope you don’t mind..” he says, holding up a paper bag. “..I was in the mood for Chinese so I brought us some~” I’m grateful actually. Because I was an idiot and didn’t even think about food. “Oh no, that’s fine~ We can take it into the living room.” As I lead him into the next room I hear him gasp. “Oooh this looks really nice..and atmospheric~ Is that champagne I see over there? You’ve been busy haven’t you~?” I’m hoping the dim light hides how red my face is right now. “I..I hoped you would like it..” He takes my arm and brings me over to the couch, setting his bag down on the table. “Oh, I do~ Romantic lighting, soft music, champagne..and you did it all just for me? I feel like a princess~” 

To me it feels like a dream: me laying on my couch with him on top of me, running my fingers through his curls. I have no idea why I feel so nervous being with him. It’s not like we haven’t had sex before. But that was a professional setting..so to speak. This is personal. More intimate. He’s not doing his job now. He wants to be with me. That’s what I’ve been wanting since I first laid eyes on him. We silently stare into each other’s eyes for what feels like an eternity, until the music changes..and all too familiar lyrics instantly hit home.

I should have known better than to let you go alone, It’s times like these I can’t make it on my own Wasted days, and sleepless nights And I can’t wait to see you again

It’s amusing to both of us how the right song seems to play at just the right time. We both sit up and I reach for the champagne bottle. He opens his bag and sets the food on the table. “Talk about setting the mood~” he says, opening the various containers. I chuckle as I pull out the bottle’s cork and fill our glasses. “It really does, honestly. I have so much to talk to you about. I was hoping the music would give me some courage.” 

“Courage? Just to talk to me? I didn’t think I was that intimidating~”

“But you are..not in a bad way of course. You’re just so…incredible. I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around you.” 

“You certainly knew at the club~” 

My hand shakes as I hand him his glass. He bats his eyelashes at me with a playful smile. I can’t tell if he’s trying to put me at ease or if he’s silently laughing at me. 

I find I spend my time waiting on your call, How can I tell you, baby My back’s against the wall I need you by my side to tell me it’s alright, Cause I don’t think I can take anymore

“That..was different..” I take a long drink from my glass before continuing. “I was convinced I shouldn’t let my feelings get in the way. I’m sure a lot of other men have told you that they loved you while you were with them. I’m sure they asked for something more, you’d tell them it was just part of your job and it would be over. I..couldn’t let it end like that. But after that night..I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’d fantasize about you..about us together. I never thought it would go any further..and then you came to me. You sought me out. That dance..was all I could think about for the longest time. I’d hoped..that there was a chance for something more between us..” 

Is this love that I’m feeling, Is this the love, that I’ve been searching for Is this love or am I dreaming, This must be love, Cause it’s really got a hold on me, A hold on me…

He takes a bite of his food while he contemplates. “Mm..it’s true. I’ve gotten more proclamations of love than I care to count~ It’s flattering of course but in the end it’s only superficial. These men just want me for my looks or because I’m a ‘great fuck.’ I didn’t get that attitude while  was with you. You were different~ Even now..knowing what I do..you still want to spend time with me. You’re not disgusted by me..basically being a whore..” I shake my head. “Don’t say that. How you choose to make money to live is your own business. All I’d be concerned about is someone becoming obsessed or someone hurting you. I don’t have a right to tell you what to do with your life..I just want to be a part of it.” 

I can’t stop the feeling I’ve been this way before But, with you I’ve found the key to open any door I can feel my love for you growing stronger day by day, And I can’t wait to see you again So I can hold you in my arms

“I..” He puts his fork down, throws his arms around me and kisses me. I lose myself in him. His hips grinding against mine. Our tongues exploring each other’s mouths. The heat’s building. Our desires reaching an aching peak. Everything else is forgotten. 

Is this love that I’m feeling, Is this the love, that I’ve been searching for Is this love or am I dreaming, This must be love, Cause it’s really got a hold on me, A hold on me…

“Take me..right now~” he says, his breath hot against my ear. I feel his tongue and I shudder. Getting up, I wrap his legs around my waist and carry him to my bedroom. 

Is this love that I’m feeling, Is this the love, that I’ve been searching for… Is this love or am I dreaming, Is this the love, that I’ve been searching for…

I can’t stop staring at him as I lay him on my bed. He looks angelic with his hair spread out all around him, his lips reddened and wet from our kisses. “Before we go any further..because I know I haven’t told you..my name is Paul~” He’s finally given me what I’ve wanted most: the real him~

“Hello, Paul..it’s wonderful to meet you~” 

~EPILOGUE~

Waking up with Paul in my arms is an incredible feeling. Unfortunately it’s ended all too soon when the phone rings. I groan and pick up quickly so Paul doesn’t wake up. “..hello..?” 

“Heeeeey Brucie~!!”

“Ace..? Do you have any idea what time it is..?” 

“Um..yeah..it’s 11:00. Sleep in didja? Have a little too much fun last night~?” 

I take the phone away from my ear as he cackles. “Is there a reason for this call or did you just do it to dog on me..?” 

“Course there’s a reason! Vinnie and I are goin’ out on the town tonight and we want you to come!” 

“Wha..?” Well this is out of the blue. “Why..?”

“Why not? ‘Sides we haven’t hung out in a while!” 

That is true. I don’t seem to spend as much time with my friends as I used to anymore. I shouldn’t let that happen. “Okay, Ace..you’re on~” 

“Stellar! Call ya later when we’re on our way!” 

As I hang up I feel Paul stir. “Mmm..who was that? They were loud..” 

“Oh..that was my friend Ace. Seems like your friend Vinnie’s got him on a leash~” Paul laughs. “Ohhh..that’s literal in Vinnie’s case~” 

“Huh?”

“Never mind..I’ll let him explain~ Are we seeing them today?” 

“How do you feel about a double date?” 

“Sounds like a good time for some naughty stories~ Count me in~” 

Tonight’s going to be very interesting~ Even more so the next time we get together with Peter, Eric and Gene~

~END~

[ghoulstars]

ok ive been tagged a lot over the past like month and i havent done like any of the tags because im a horrible procrastinator but ive gotten tagged in this specific thing 3 times today so im properly motivated to actually do it in a timely manner LOL here we go

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. drink: water that im slightly skeptical of 2. phone call: my friend Robi 3. text message: @shelteringskyy ??? i think?? yes probably 4. song you listened to: the fool by dead soul 5. time you cried: i think last month 6. dated someone twice: ive never dated anyone ever LOL 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yeah probably 8. been cheated on: nope 9. lost someone special: i think so 10. been depressed: in certain contexts yes 11. gotten drunk: once and never again LMAO

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. purple 13. bronze 14. brown

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yes and i love them ALL DEARLY and i re-iterate the sentiment THANKS GHOST LMAO 16. fallen out of love: maybe??? idk 17. laughed until you cried: YEP LMFAO 18. found out someone was talking about you: sort of but this person also told me straight up she was gonna talk about me and it was all in good fun so LOL who cares 19. met someone who changed you: YEP. 20. found out who your friends are: yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like basically almost all of them except like 6 or so ppl? 23. do you have any pets: YES!!! i have three cats and two dogs and i love them all so much!!! 24. do you want to change your name: no 25. what did you do on your last birthday: my last bday fell on the night of prom so like i got up, got my hair done and then went to prom that night LOL prom itself was sorta shitty but i got to hang out with my friends who were all gorgeous and i got to look hot too so like win/win 26. what time did you wake up: 10am then fell asleep and woke back up at 12:30-something 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: skyping @shelteringskyy ,'^) 28. name something you can’t wait for: halloweeeeeeeen 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a couple hours ago maybe less 31. what are you listening to right now: vinny vinesauce playing some weird ass game and myself typing 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i actually don't think so 33. something that is getting on your nerves: it being so sunny recently (i like clouds fight me), my sleep schedule getting FUCKED up and me struggling to fix it, mysterious bug bites, the lack of motivation to study that has been haunting me since 2 months ago 34. most visited website: probably tumblr, youtube and facebook tbh 35. hair colour: naturally im a fucking ashy dirty wishwater blonde and im fucking tired of it so now i dye my hair dark brown LOL ;_; @my body please hurry up and make my hair darker 36. long or short hair: mine is long 37. do you have a crush on someone: only fictional characters as of right now 38. what do you like about yourself: my ass, my unibrow and my stomach hair 39. piercings: i started out with four when i was younger, one in each cartilage (partially) then one in each ear lobe. the cartilage ones closed up to due lack of usage and my lobe piercings closed up a bit but just cleaning them out returned them to normal lol. early last year i got my partial-cartilage piercing redone as well as two additional holes making eight total but i was a fool and took out all my earrings over the course of prom and left them out too long and they ALL grew back over except my redone cartilage holes and my lobes -_- i plan to get one more additional hole in my ears to make up for this fucking travesty and i also want a nose piercing. 40. blood type: no idea mate LMAO 41. nickname: shebby, shebs, shelbs, shelbles, shelbilly, bee and im probably forgetting more tbh 42. relationship status: single and content 43. zodiac: aries, aquarius rising and sagittarius moon 44. pronouns: she/her/hers 45. favourite tv show: uhhh like........bobs burgers maybe???? twin peaks??? always sunny?????????? 46. tattoos: none but FUCK do i want a grucifix or a mother/daughter tattoo 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: none so far 50. sport: no 51. vacation: honestly ill go like nearly anywhere in the world, im not picky tbh take me over the ocean or just three hours away and i think ill be happy 52. pair of trainers: do converse count....also my moms fucked up ancient grungey tennis shoes she has that i love to wear

MORE GENERAL:

53. eating: nothing but dinner was steak, steak fries and some yeast rolls. might eat this smores poptart here in a second 54. drinking: nothing bc that water was Skeptical 55. i’m about to: either attempt to study or watch more youtube vids idk 56. waiting for: the rain that appears to be gathering in the sky and winter 57. want: papa 3 to never ever leave but also papa 4 to come and decimate us (and also possibly decimate papa 3), to not potentially have mono, to draw, to get our bulldog fixed so he can come inside, to stop being fucking squeamish when i study about internal organs 58. get married: no...nono 59. career: veterinary assistant if i can handle assisting in injection administration LMFAO or an artist 60. hugs or kisses: kisses 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: ehhhh im not picky so idc 63. older or younger: O L D E R LMAO DAMMIT PAPA 64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 65. hook up or relationship: neither in real life 66. troublemaker or hesitant: depends on whats happening lmao

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: yes 68. drank hard liquor: NO LMAO ABSOLUTELY NOT 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no 70. turned someone down: YEP. 71. sex on the first date: i have never been with anyone in real life ever so neither 72. broken someone’s heart: probably 73. had your heart broken: sort of?? 74. been arrested: no god LMAO 75. cried when someone died: well yeah 76. fallen for a friend: not really

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: depends 78. miracles: in some cases 79. love at first sight: only sort of. 80. Santa Claus: who the FUCK is santa claus 81. kiss on the first date: ...ehhh??? 82. angels: probably

OTHER:

84. eye colour: hazel 85. favourite movie: I HAVE TOO MANY OF THESE LMAO MY FAVORITE-FAVORITE FLUCTUATES A LOT AND IDK WHAT I WOULD SAY MY CURRENT FAV MOVIE IS....

anyway i tag @cloyterus and....i think everyone else i'd wanna tag has already been tagged or done this so here u go

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

What We Learned: The Wild are going to be expensive, but will they be good?

The Wild have a large range of outcomes for 2018-19. (Photo by Jason Halstead /Getty Images)

Off the top of your head, where do you see the Minnesota Wild finishing in the Central this season?

They’re only technically in the same league as the division’s twin titans of Nashville and Winnipeg, which seem destined to finish 1-2  (you pick the order).

Of course, the Wild finished in that third spot last year; a distant third, mind you, with a 13-point gap between Winnipeg and themselves. And that came with some serious ups and downs; they were one of the worst possession teams in the league last year, and really only got to where they were because of an a PDO that was ninth-highest in the league.

And to be fair, they had a number of key players miss a pretty good amount of time. Jared Spurgeon only played 61 games. Zach Parise just 47. Nino Niederreiter checked in at only 63. Those are all very useful players and if they’re missing a quarter or close to half of a season, your on-ice results are going to suffer, especially if they miss a bunch of games at the same time.

But at the same time, Eric Staal scored 42 goals and 76 points. Jason Zucker cleared 30 in both goals and assists. Mikael Granlund had 67 points. Ryan Suter and Matt Dumba both hit 50 points from the blue line. Devan Dubnyk was once again top-notch at .918 in 60 appearances.

The problem for the Wild, then, is that the rest of the division seems to be improving, and it was pretty tightly packed around the middle of the Central to begin with. Nine points separated Minnesota from sixth-place Dallas, with Colorado and St. Louis between them. I would argue that all those teams improved this offseason, and Chicago should be (much) better if Corey Crawford is fully healthy, even if they’re not the Chicago of old.

Note that many of the Wild players I just listed as having enjoyed great seasons are, for the most part, outside their prime production years. Staal and Suter will turn 34 during next season. Spurgeon will turn 29. Dubnyk just turned 32. Other teams have aging producers as well, obviously, but these were some pretty outsized years from past-their-primes players, so it’ll be interesting to see what they can actually put together in 2018-19.

The real problem with the Wild, though, is the playoff format. The gap between Nashville/Winnipeg and the rest of that division is so significant in terms of on-paper quality (you can never guess when injury or quirky underperformance will rear their heads) that you’re better off finishing in the wild card spot in the division and taking your chances with the winner of the Pacific than finishing third and getting as brutally crumpled as the Wild did in the first round last year.

And with the new contract Matt Dumba signed over the weekend — five years with a $6 million AAV, the value of which I’ll get to in a minute here — this team is about $5.6 million south of the cap limit, and still have to re-sign Zucker, who has 111 points over the last two seasons. That scoring total ties him for 63rd in the league in that time, just ahead of Jordan Eberle and Sean Couturier, for instance, and likely means he’s going to be looking for a fat paycheck. That probably pushed Minnesota up around the absolute top of the league in terms of cap obligations.

(Also worth noting: There are few Bruce Boudreau stans in the hockey media bigger than me, but my man only has so much to work with, y’know?)

So this is a cap-limit team with a first-round-limit ceiling in the playoffs unless things go very heavily their way. This is, I guess, why the team brought in a new front office crew this summer; there’s a recognition that they’ve built a rather expensive team that probably reached its peak in terms of reasonable competition within the division, let alone the Western Conference or league writ large. And with so many of their top players (such as they are) on the wrong side of 30, one wonders how much longer this approach is going to be kept up.

Simply put, seventy-nine-point-something million dollars a year to get bounced in the early rounds of the playoffs again isn’t and shouldn’t be viewed as a tenable situation, but as I wrote repeatedly like four or five years, simply paying a lot of money to players who are above-average but certainly not stars in the league doesn’t make them worth their contracts. The Parise and Suter contracts don’t expire for seven more seasons and it’s a hell of a lot of money to spend on two guys whose impact on the ice is going to diminish.

The good news is there aren’t too many long-term commitments otherwise — Dumba and Niedereitter, both of whom are under 26, are the only other guys signed for more than the next three seasons — and the team does have some promising, youngish players to supplement the old guard. That Dumba contract is probably a little too much in terms of AAV, but he has 35 goals over the last three seasons and you gotta pay for guys like that, I guess.

Only 12 defensemen in the salary cap era besides Dumba have cleared 50 points in a season before the age of 24, so what are you gonna do? The term is fine, for sure, but Dumba doesn’t really move the needle in terms of underlying numbers; he’s still improving given his age, but paying a lot for that particular player seems more optimistic than rational. Because of those 13 defensemen, only eight repeated their 50-performances at least once before turning 28.

Nice to have young players who can make an impact, certainly, but the Wild fall into that classic trap of having a number of goodish, cheapish young guys and goodish, expensive old guys and very little in between, which doesn’t allow for a continuity of quality over years.

And with this team in particular, what even is that quality, really? Can you really afford to run out the clock with all these early-to-mid-20s and mid-30s players over the next three years if this is where you’re gonna get?

While anyone can get on a hot run and make a deep playoff push, the Wild don’t really have a realistic chance to do that unless they land outside their own division for the playoffs. Which is theoretically possible, but in actual practice you shouldn’t want to hope you finish seventh or eighth in the West to get a viable path to the Conference Final, where you’re likely to get clubbed anyway.

So the Wild, again, seem to be at a crossroads with the direction of their franchise, but none of their paths forward seem particularly favorable.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: They’re officially bringing back, well, a version of the original Mighty Ducks jersey, which should just be their actual jersey anyway. This one kinda stinks but what are you gonna do?

Arizona Coyotes: God if the Coyotes are worth $500 million, what’s Vegas worth now, a year after paying that same amount of money to be a team?

Boston Bruins: The cool thing about if the Bruins got Artemi Panarin? He would be the second-best left wing on the team.

Buffalo Sabres: Casey Mittelstadt looks like he could soon be a difference-maker at the NHL level, which is probably a little ahead of schedule to be honest.

Calgary Flames: The Flames love putting useful young depth players on waivers for no reason, but at least they didn’t lose Brett Kulak for nothing like they did Paul Byron.

Carolina Hurricanes: I would not recommend making a 19-year-old rookie your No. 1 center, no.

Chicago: Jonathan Toews wants a big bounce-back season for himself and his team. I want a million dollars. Nice to want things.

Colorado Avalanche: The Avs are probably going to avoid arbitration with Patrik Nemeth and that’s the only guy they need to re-sign at this point.

Columbus Blue Jackets: *Craig Finn voice* Don’t let Oliver Bjorkstrand explode!!!!

Dallas Stars: You can say what you want about the Stars but there really aren’t that many bad contracts on the books.

Detroit Red Wings: Wow the Red Wings might actually play talented kids instead of mediocre 29-year-olds in important situations. Signs and wonders.

Edmonton Oilers: Put Joe Gambardella in the NHL. Yes. Do it. Think about where he went to college and don’t be a coward!!!

Florida Panthers: Vinnie Viola is selling his mansion in New Jersey and I’m buying it.

Los Angeles Kings: A great mid-July pastime is to look at NHL signings and guess what percentage of them are AHL-quality goons. Here’s one now.

Minnesota Wild: The Wild have a new AHL head coach and it seems like when you’re hiring guys out of the Penguins coaching system you’re making a good decision.

Montreal Canadiens: This is brutal.

Nashville Predators: Yes. Thanks for asking.

New Jersey Devils: Only roster eight defensemen if you’re gonna play seven every night. Which, by the way, you should do that.

New York Islanders: Frankly, gang, I don’t know that they have much of a choice in the whole “should we tank?” discussion.

New York Rangers: When the richest and biggest-name teams in the league are openly saying they’re “rebuilding” that should be a good indication that it’s a perfectly okay thing for every team to do when needed.

Ottawa Senators: This is going really great.

Philadelphia Flyers: Man, that Forsberg-to-Nashville trade effectively got the Flyers Scottie Upshall, Ryan Parent, Scott Hartnell, and Kimmo Timonen plus a third-round pick? Good lord!

Pittsburgh Penguins: Okay, sure, Derek Grant. That’s someone.

San Jose Sharks: Chris Tierney? That’s even more someone.

St. Louis Blues: This is a take where I go, “Ahhhh, maybe?” Which kinda defeats the purpose of the take.

Tampa Bay Lightning: Really feels like everyone in Tampa is just sitting around going, “Well jeez hey when’s this Karlsson thing happening? Soon? Soon. Gotta be soon.”

Toronto Maple Leafs: Andreas Johnsson‘s one of those guys where it’s like, “Yeah he’s probably a real player.” He went point-a-game in his second AHL season and 1.5 a game in the playoffs. Granted, that’s on a stacked team, but he’s 23 and a guy who can score like that is probably a good bottom-six option at an absolute minimum.

Vancouver Canucks: I would not want to be in the business of extending Alex Edler, despite his long-term status with the org.

Vegas Golden Knights: It’s really too bad the Golden Knights didn’t have to change their name. That would have been so funny.

Washington Capitals: Yeah, no.

Winnipeg Jets: I’m gonna write more about Trouba this week but: yikes.

Gold Star Award

Maybe this makes me a kook in hockey circles but every NHL team should have as many jerseys as they want. Who cares as long as they’re cool or weird or whatever? I don’t like the Ducks’ new “classic-inspired” thirds but at least they’re trying something. More throwbacks would be a good thing.

Minus of the Weekend

This is some kinda take.

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Week

User “Kshahdoo” loves this time of year.

STL gets Panarin (but only with extention) Toronto gets Parayko Columbus gets Nylander

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(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)