#this is original but after finishing the concept I realised that this fits within the bbc merlin canon so take it as that if you want

[exsofa]

anniversary

[quordleona03]

I have never had to make a seder for Passover, and I haven't attended more than two seders in my life: I am by upbringing and heritage a Gentile.

I have, however, with assistance, made a Reform seder for Passover in New York City, in Sidney Freedman's West Side home, those present a nice assortment of nuts and fruits.

And I was not able to use the orange on the seder plate, because this seder for Passover takes place on 8th April 1963, which is thirty years too early for Susannah Heschel's inspired addition. Sidney Freedman in my story is sixty years old in 1963: it's just possible he lived long enough to add an orange to his seder plate on Passover - because, after he came back from Korea, he and his lover decided this was the night they would welcome the stranger and feed the famished within their gates.

Sidney Freedman, 1963

In research for this one chapter, I read a lot of haggadot, and looked in particular for a Reform Haggadah that was old enough to have been the one Sidney and his lover would have had multiple copies of in the 1960s. (I went with the 1923 Union Haggadah - the revised edition is still available.)

I looked up endless Sephardic recipes for Passover. Most of them don't actually show up in the story, except for dafina.

And not exactly for research, but for the story: I watched a whole lot of Passover episodes. I listened to Six13 on Youtube. I read Herman Wouk's novel Marjorie Morningstar, which I cannot honestly recommend, and Georgia Hunter's novel We Were the Lucky Ones, which was great. (Full disclosure: I could not actually finish Wouk's novel. I'd got it out of the library for the seder chapter, and I skim-read the rest of it.) I was trying to think my way into how to write the seder chapter I'd planned for All We Know when I had realised with the thoughtless cheerfulness of the pre-first-draft writer that the date of Passover in 1963 fitted very neatly into the timeline of my story, and fitted too my thoughts about Hawkeye Pierce being Jewish and non-practicing.

I know this is going to sound weird, but the moment when things clicked with me and I thought "I can write this" was when I was attending my local Transgender Memorial Day reading of the names, as a hench of the Order of Perpetual Indulgence. As a cis lesbian, I didn't have anything to contribute, except to stand there in my henching robes and bear witness, and what I thought was (forgive me if this sound awfully Gentile): There are some things that are important to do, and we do them every year, because we need to remember, to publicly bear witness, to tell the story. To outsiders this may look silly, but we are not doing it for them but for us: we share our stories, we remember our history, we ensure our past is not forgotten. When I - as I thought then - finished writing Sins and Virtues in 2006, "Jewish Hawkeye Pierce" wasn't a fannish concept. (Alan Alda talking about how Passover is his favourite holiday is probably the origin.) But as I was thinking through the story I meant to write, of the year July 1962 to July 1963, the more I felt "Hawkeye is Jewish" would work for the story. What had not occurred to me as I finished writing the short chapters of February and the long, long chapters of March, and began - last November - to think about Hawkeye and Mulcahy going to the seder for Passover that Sidney Freedman is making - a sober seder for his friends - was how gormlessly little I knew.

So I did what you have to: I wrote the shitty first draft. And then I rewrote it. And then I asked a friend if she would sanity-check it for me, and she said no, because British seders are different from East Coast Reform seders, and she referred me on to another friend, who very generously read the chapter and sent me multiple line-edits and suggestions and saved me from at least three major howlers and I am endlessly grateful to him. (Thank you, Rich.)

(My demonic proofreader also gave it her usual seeing-to, which was as consistently helpful as ever. )

So there it is: Hawkeye Pierce's Pesach, 1963, the latest chapter of All We Know.

[alexgarnn]

Postmortem - Platform

Gameplay:

In regards to my original concept for my platform prototype, I had made several changes to the gameplay and implemented new features. I originally was contemplating wether or not I wanted to implement a way in which a player can kill enemies. When prototyping and developing my ideas for gameplay I moved forward with keeping the enemies un-killable, however recently I have been watching tutorials on how I can add a feature where players can pick up a weapon; ray gun of some sorts. With this they gain the ability to shoot a projectile to kill enemies within a vertical range.

In addition, I was not able to play test with people inside my workshop, however I had my roommate, who isn't too familiar with playing video games. I had originally had only three lives for the player; loosing one when coming into contact with enemies and losing all of them when falling off the map. I had realised that maybe I made the game a bit too difficult, especially for non-experienced gamers and even younger players. Moving forward I decided to have 5 lives, however with an increase of enemies. Alongside only losing one heart for when a player falls off the map.

I had mentioned previously with the animations that I had to remove them all from my character as it caused a bug where the players character would immediately fall through the map when beginning the game. I had tried multiple times to figure out what the issue in the code may be but came to no conclusions.

Design:

When designing, I was again contemplating wether I should change the design of the character even though it actually fits with my design theme. After finishing my prototype I tried to play around with creating a new design myself but found I did not have enough time nor experience with drawing to create my own.

After working on my prototype, I wasn’t very satisfied with the overal concept I had chosen. I felt as though it kind of lacked substance and wasn’t very creative. While working my job (I work as a barista) I thought of an idea I would actually like to trial out as a platformer if I have the time. Here is a somewhat finalised elevator pitch for my new idea.

New pitch idea!!!!!!

Gameplay

Players embark on a caffeine-fueled journey through various levels, each set in a unique coffee-themed environment. The game encourages exploration, discovery, and a relaxed pace while delivering an engaging platforming experience.

The game features a soothing lofi soundtrack that adapts to the player's actions and the environment. The music changes tempo and mood as players progress through different levels, creating a calming and immersive atmosphere.

Coffee inspired power ups - Brewster can collect coffee beans, which serve as power-ups. These beans allow him to perform unique abilities, such as espresso boost jumps, cappuccino glides, and mocha ground pound attacks.

Each level is set in a different coffee-themed world, such as a bustling coffee shop, a serene coffee bean farm, and an ancient coffee temple.

Visual Design

The game boasts a cozy and inviting visual style with warm colors and detailed pixel art. The coffee-themed environments are filled with lush vegetation, steaming coffee cups, and lofi-inspired art pieces. The characters and enemies have a cute and quirky design that fits well with the overall aesthetic.

Ages

designed for players of all ages who appreciate a relaxing gaming experience, love coffee, and enjoy platform games.

[esamastation]

Roy doesn't know exactly when the new alchemist joins them on the field.

It's a bad time - they're establishing a new camp in the town and the area is under constant assault, it seems. Small strikes on all sides, seemingly from nowhere, taking out a man there, another there, crippling a truck, taking out a road… The Ishvalans are using some sort of network of tunnels, the brass thinks, and it's Roy's job to smoke them out. So that's what he's been doing, seemingly all week… smoking out the supposed tunnels.

There are no tunnels, though. The Ishvalans are just getting desperate and in their desperation they're figuring out new methods. They have home field advantage and new tricks of camouflaging themselves in the rubble that used to be their home. Ruins of a people, blending in the ruins the Amestrians had made of their houses. They're learning to live with it, to work with it, because it's all they have - and they're getting good because they have little choice in the matter.

No one is listening to Roy when he points it out, though. There's a dismissiveness to the higher ups, when it comes to the evolution of Ishvalan tactics. "What are they doing now, praying for better guns?" As though this war, hasn't already gone on three times as long as originally projected.

Roy is thinking about it, staring at a crooked, unlit cigarette someone had put into his shaking hands, when he's introduced to the new alchemist.

"Good news, Mustang," Hughes says, with absolutely no joy in his cheerful smile, and less so in his cheerful voice. It sounds like he's chewing charcoal. "You're getting partner."

Roy looks up, his mind still in the meeting room, thinking about numbers on a map, how they didn't quite capture the reality of charred skeletons. It takes a moment for what he sees in front of him to sink in.

Another blue uniform, still pressed sharp and bright new under the beige overcoat that's supposed to protect it and it's wearer from the dust and heat of Ishval. What stands before him isn't a soldier though - it's barely a man. It's a short blond boy, no older than sixteen at most, with heavy non-regulation boots and silver watch chain at his hip.

The horror and disgust that wells up it's barely a blip before it's smothered under, oh, of course, and shit, are we here already? Then Roy stands up, puts the unlit cigarette away and holds out his right hand.

"Major Roy Mustang - the Flame Alchemist."

The blond boy smiles, crooked and sharp and just as mirthless as Hughes beside him. "Nick Flamel - the Fullmetal Alchemist." His grip is tight and brief, his hand gloved.

He'd be the newest youngest State Alchemist then. Roy had heard his record had been beaten, though he hadn't really paid attention to who or how.

Hughes looks between them and for a moment his eyes show a certain desperation. Then he covers it up and pats Flamel's shoulder. "Fullmetal here is stationed under you until he gets a hang of things - you'll show him the ropes, teach him what's what."

Keep him alive, is what Hughes' eyes say, and no wonder. Being as young as he is, the kid can't have much in the way of training. Alchemists don't need to go through basic, after all - they're not there to march or shoot guns or stand in lines. Flamel had probably just gotten his watch, his uniform, and a one way ticket to Ishval. To one of the worst, most contested zones at that. Shit.

Did the brass send the kid here to die?

"What's your specialty - metallurgical transmutation?" Roy asks.

"I don't have a speciality, really," Flamel says and pushes his hands into the pockets of his overcoat. It doesn't quite fit him right - too wide across shoulders, a bit too long. They'd either left some growing room, or they just didn't have a uniform small enough. "But I'm damn good at environmental alchemy, which I figure is what I'll be doing the most around here."

Roy blinks. "Environmental alchemy," he repeats.

"I can make the battleground my bitch," Flamel says, his crooked smile sharpening.

And abruptly Roy is already exhausted with the kid. He's one of those, then, a cocky little sumbitch, top of his class and talk of the town, so used to being the top dog of his little bubble that he has no concept of what the real world is like outside that little bubble. Guys like him come swaggering in all the time, all big talk and smug grins, so sure they're going to be carrying their little superiority complexes spotlessly over the finish line that they walk into the first fucking landmine that comes across.

Roy sees himself holding the kid's hand after he gets gunned down, still thinking himself invulnerable, and it's exhausting.

"What?" Flamel asks, suspicious at his silence.

Hughes, giving the kid the exact same look Roy must be, clears his throat. "How about you show us?" he suggests. "So we'll have an idea what we're working with here."

Flamel arches a brow at that and then looks around, light brown - or are they burnished gold? - eyes narrowing in thought.

Their camp is still a mess from the last attack - they're fixing the fences and filling the holes in the road that got busted in the smattering of mortar fire from two days ago. The perimeter is more secure now, for a given value of secure. They'd chosen the highest spot in the town, the temple mount, to give them a high vantage point - better than being penned into a valley. It leaves them pretty damn open though.

Flamel looks over the houses they'd taken over, the tents pitched in the streets and the flag of Amestris hung over the prayer hall, and clicks his tongue. Then he claps his hands together, and crouches down.

For a split of a second, barely a blink, it looks like he's praying.

Then he slaps his hands on the street beneath their feet - and in a crackle of alchemical energy and rumble of displaced earth, the street reforms. The dirt flattens, grows perfect paving stones, shifts to form neat walkways on the sides, even forming gutters. Between one breath and the next, they have a perfect Amestrian city street, formed from the dust of Ishval, surrounded by Ishvalan buildings.

While the soldiers on the newly reformed street let out shouts of shock, Roy just stares, his mind trying to jump hoops figuring out how the kid just did that. Circles in his skin, under his sleeves, inside his gloves…?

Hughes whistles, hiding his wild eyes in a squint. "Nice. You know, it doesn't rain much around here," he comments.

"So?" Flamel asks.

"The gutters aren't really necessary."

Flamel looks at the street he'd made, hands resting on his hips, and shrugs. "Eh, can't hurt," he says and motions at the street. "Anyway, imagine that, but spikes instead of paving stones."

Roy swallows and looks at the kid, who's just standing there, seemingly in no way bothered. Fullmetal doesn't look smug or proud of what he'd done, only grinning a little bit at the way the soldiers throw away their shovels, no longer needed. If this isn't something for the him to even brag about, then…

Roy has in his head an image of the kid doing a field of spikes under a charging assault force, eviscerating people by the dozens, and it's clearly not Flamel's only trick. It's probably not even in his top five.

Fuck, the kid would end up with a three digit death toll by his first engagement.

"Right," Roy says. He isn't sure what his face is doing but going Hughes' expression, it's probably not good. "You can make gutters. How about trenches?"

Flamel grins, his eyes like molten metal. "Try me."

-

By the end of the week - no, by the end of the day their camp is hugely improved by Flamel. The fence is turned into a solid stone wall, constructed within minutes from the remains of bombed out houses. Another pile of rubble is turned into a watch tower. They have trenches, they have pits, Flamel even adds a moat and spikes around the camp, like they're in an ancient fortress or something. Hell, there's even gargoyles in the corners of the wall.

They go from one of the least secure camps to one of the most heavily fortified seemingly overnight. It's a huge boost to troop morale - not so for Roy's sanity. Flamel doesn't even look winded by the end of his improvements.

"How are you doing the circles?" Roy asks finally - bit of a social Faux Pas among alchemists, especially military alchemists, but he has to ask. Flamel made entire buildings, and he hadn't stopped to draw a single sigil.

"In my head," Flamel says, shrugging. Like that makes any sense.

Roy looks at him and then at the changes he's made, and can't say it's impossible - he can see the results with his own eyes. And they're more than impressive, they're…

Flamel isn't going to be here long, he realises. Whether the brass send the kid here to get rid of him or not, the moment word about Flamel's real abilities spread, he'd be snagged by the first general with any fucking sense. The kid's a powerhouse. Roy is too, of course, that's why he's here - but Fullmetal is a different kind of powerhouse. Just by himself, he would be able to establish a secure foothold in the middle of enemy territory and that's not someone you just let sit idle.

Roy looks at the kid and feels torn between feeling sorry, jealous and a little bit bitter. If only he was a bit higher in rank, he could keep Flamel and make a full use his abilities - and maybe keep him from becoming a mass murderer in the process.

"What was your exam like?" Roy asks. There's no way the kid showed even a fraction of these abilities, he wouldn't be here at all if he had. "How'd you end up with a name like Fullmetal?" From what he'd seen something like Earth Moving or Groundbreaking would've been more apt.

"I made a spear in my exam," Flamel says, not looking at him. "And pointed it at Bradley."

"... And they didn't arrest you?"

Flamel smirks a little and looks at him. "What did you do?" he asks. "I bet you scorched something."

Roy had. He'd been welcomed in on the spot. "Training dummies," he agrees, giving him a pointed look. "Because I don't have a death wish."

Flamel shrugs. "It got me what I wanted," he says and stretches his arms. "So, what comes next?"

Roy looks at their newly secure camp. "Depends on the Colonel, but I bet you'll be doing more road work. We need a clear path in and out of the town."

Even though the town is officially theirs, that doesn't stop the guerilla attacks - but now, with a secure camp, all they needed was a clear path for troops to move in and then it'd be only a matter of time. If the two of them weren't already reassigned by then, they'd be after the supply line was secure. Alchemists weren't wasted in safe stations.

"But that's tomorrow's problem," Roy decides. "Come in, kid - let's get something to eat."

- - -

Nostalgia is doing rounds in my brain.

[feather-dancer]

And "never you without me, me without you" (from Chevrefoil, translated by Judith P. Shoaf)

So in the brief period yesterday morning before I was in too much pain to think straight (But before the nausea bandwagoned) I read the original and it shoooows. Anyway it had Zadra and Izita vibes and this comes complete with my inability to double check anything other than names /o/ I've done a run over edit as what I wrote in my hazed state (Two and a bit paragraphs) were not fit for reading.

Or else. An unspoken threat hanging in the background of the offered words that if accepted would grant her a promotion to Commander of the beloved Taylon Phalanx that turned their back on their duties. Such things should have come while kneeling before the throne not while laying strapped to a bed where wounds festered with their fresher brethren until the motion is made to seal the oldest and grant more canvas space. While she suffers Morando had the sheer audacity to hum politely while awaiting an answer while staring at the tool in his hand in wonder as though it were a delicate instrument. In a surgeon’s hand it might well have been, the ex-general is too tactless to share the same grace of their greatest healers and makes the irony of her current surroundings feel almost toxic.

“As much as our little chat has been entertaining, lieutenant, I do have places to be you realise? It appears things in our fair system have… Changed somewhat during my long exile and my time would be far better spent in ensuring such information is brought back up to date.” The laser edge thrums back into life with threatening intent contrasting the sickeningly jovial smile and were it not for the bindings she would prove just how capable she can be even without weaponry. Alas the situation calls for burying any satisfaction that could be gained at the thought under an expression of barely composed neutrality.

“I will ask one final time; will you take your place by my side in bringing order or do you wish to be target practice?”

To live and have even a chance of returning the Akirdion throne to House Tarron as it belongs what choice is there but to agree to keep your head down even if saying so feels like poison rolling down her throat? Seklos forgive this treasonous act for a living core will do far more than a crushed one. A stuttered breath is drawn unwilling to give the satisfaction of how much even using her voice aches while fingers attempt to clench into a broken fist, the tiniest act of defiance she dares risk.

“It would be my … Honour … to hold such a position, Genera Morando.”

“Excellent! Though can I assure you that such a lowly title is only such a temporary thing I hope you understand, the throne might not be vacant just yet but it will be.” It takes everything to bite her tongue at the concept of a coup being treated with no more importance than table settings.

“You, finish tending to her wounds then show Zadra to her quarters once stabilised. Afterwards report to the infirmary and finish tending to those involved in the little disagreement earlier. The announcement of the change in guard will be within two horvarths and I want every single one of them standing, understand? Dismissed.”

Izita keeps her head bowed and hands draped in front of her palm over back giving little more than a curt nod in acknowledgement while watching him depart only out the corner of her eye. You are not here to speak, he’d snapped after giving the order to stabilise her beloved, unless you would prefer to operate on yourself? Zadra had heard it happen in fractures and it only made her curse the name out more. Even the doors sealing closed offers no form of reassurance and the pair continue to remain silent until time endless has passes with no sign of a return. Only then are the bindings released in a frantic series of button presses on the console and the lack of pressure coaxes a groan thanks to a distorted wrist no longer supported swiftly followed by a warm sensation determined to smooth it away. Her eyes slide shut in appreciation feeling like she had fought away out of a warzone with nothing more than her fists instead tortured into compliance for the pleasure of a monster. Her body desperately needs to recharge but there is so much yet to do, to happen though one even greater fear manages to bob above even that maelstrom that tightens in her chest.

“He - He didn’t threaten Davaros, did he…?” Her voice chokes into being as a hand reaches up to lovingly cup the side of her jaw and it does not stray when a blaze of neon turns to admire.

“No my love, our secret remains ever safe,” she reassures letting her attention slip for but a moment in order to twist the instrument and ensure not a line is missed.

“My core fractures with yours.”

And oh! The relief that follows is immense making it so much easier to breathe. Their relationship is an open secret amongst those who know either well, it is kept hidden only for the virtue that one could be used against the other by those without moral. Their precious daughter vulnerable to far worse through mistaken identity or deliberate knowing and it’s in a horrid moment like this it makes every single precaution they take beyond conceivable value.

“Thank Seklos and Gaylen, a child would mean nothingin order to get what he wants.” There is a hum of agreement while she is being helped to sit upright with still tender limbs and the balance little better than that of a fresh born.

“A resistance is already forming underground where even his threats cannot penetrate, Loth Saborian promises to lend his support or information wherever he’s able. The holo might be weak but as long as we tread carefully we will make it to the other side yet.” Her mind is stretched too thin to even contemplate the intricacies of such things and yet while she was fighting, buying time for the royal children to escape, Izita had already been dipping her hands into diplomacy to prepare the board for when the players could be initiated. It’s hard to escape the smile of admiration that blooms amongst the bruises.

“You should rest while you can, I doubt he will take too kindly to you of all akirdions being idle for a moment. I suppose we will have to use the old methods once again too, hm?”

“Indeed, though I believe we are beyond primitive scratchings in hopes the other might see, it would be too difficult to pass along bedtime stories in such a manner.”

They laugh because what else can they do without everything turning into tears? The royals have been lost and though her own sacrifice was worth it if nothing is done entire systems will burn in pursuit of fully extinguishing their line. This will likely be their final moment normalcythis side of a full-blown war for not only their lives but planet wide they can truly be together again. It is Zadra this time who places her palms around her beloved’s head and carefully brings their noses close as if in prayer.

“Never you without me,” she whispers softly.

“Nor me without you,” Izita replies then together they finish their vow.

“As long as life remains within our cores.”

[everythinngoes]

National Anthem (Benny Watts fic)

- This is just me testing out a Benny/Original character fic I had playing around in my head, if you like it let me know! I’m thinking of making it a chapter story, this is just some concept work of their first ‘meeting’ 

- Paring: Benny Watts x Original Character

- Words: 1,198

Basement bars were typically below the taste of what Benny Watts enjoyed; dirty and suffocating with cigarette smoke wasn’t the particular scenario that came to mind to him when he envisioned a good night out. Quiet the opposite, in fact, which was something he enjoyed reminding his circle of New York friends with frequently. 

It was coated with a blanket of cigarette and cigar smoke, the small circular tables that surrounded the pitifully small stage in the corner were uneven and wobbled whenever he placed an elbow on it. Darkly lit, save for the spotlight centred on the drunk comedian on stage, and the candles that littered the small tables. The liquor was cheap, and the acts that frequented the stage were moderately entertaining so he understood how - after a few beers - people would enjoy it here enough. The humour of the current comedian was cheap, crass and misogynistic jokes which elicited enough jokes to spur him on merely caused an eye roll from Benny. 

Anton and Eva, his companions, had been the ones to suggest it. Well, Eva had. Both were editors at The Times and Chess Life, respectively, whom he had come to know very well. Unlike Benny, both came from money and Ivy League educations. He supposed he could understand why they would be drawn to a place like this; it made the pair feel as if they were slummin’ it, but Benny had seen a thousand bars like this. 

With a smirk, Anton took a sip of his whiskey, arm draped across the back of Eva’s chair, who leaned forward in delight at the stand-up comedian. Her chuckles were loud, almost likening a cackle. Benny chuckled at her reaction, remembering the crassness of her own humour. It was why he enjoyed her company so much. The heat in the bar had made strands of her blonde bangs stick to her forehead ever so slightly, though she didn’t seem to mind. 

Anton undid a button of his dress shirt, the only hint that he was overheated, but otherwise perfectly put together in his suit. He rolled his eyes at Benny as the comedian stumbled off the stage, and the occupants within the bar resumed their conversations in order to fill the silence. 

‘Eva’s been banging on about some cuban singer that performs her a couple of nights a week-’ 

Eva leaned over Anton, interrupting him in excitement. ‘She’s divine, switches between english and spanish, it’s almost like she was born here.’

Benny raised an eyebrow in question at her statement, Anton sensing the sarcastic remark on the tip of his friends’ tongue placed a hand on his shoulder. Silently asking him to ignore the comment.  

‘We’ll leave after she’s performed, I promise.’ 

Benny conceded, raising a hand to the waiter for another beer, and ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair. He could feel the fabric of his t-shirt sticking to his back due to sweat, he needed a shower. 

‘Excuse me.’ A gruff voice cleared their throat, and Benny’s attention returned to the small stage. A burly bearded man, tall and wide in muscle, forearms littered with tattoos, stood on the stage awkwardly. ‘Ladies and gentleman, sorry for the wait, but please welcome our next act to the stage. Milena Sanchez.’ 

A stilted applause followed him as he left. 

‘That’s her!’ Eva tapped Anton’s shoulder. 

A small shadow took the steps of the stage, cloaked in darkness until she walked into the spotlight on the stand that held the Shure 55 microphone. The lighting against her skin made it appear golden, sun kissed, though Benny supposed it was just naturally how it looked. Her dark hair was parted in the middle, pulled back into an elegant but professional bun, tight fitted black capri pants hugged her hips and waist. A black turtleneck tucked into it, with a golden name tag glinting on her torso. She had come from work, Benny realised. 

She said nothing, except open her full lips - coated in red lipsticks - and took a deep breath. A instrumental record begun to play, and the melody of a piano and harp begun to filter through the air. 

Save for the lipstick, her face was bare, but Benny believed that she didn’t need anything to further accentuate her features. Despite the darkness, it were almost if his sense of sight and noise had amplified upon her entrance onto the stage. He felt on the edge of his seat, anticipating her next move. 

When she sung, it begun as soft and low; descending into something both haunting and alluring at once. The bar was enraptured, their voices stolen from them by her own. She was an oxymoron, both cold and and burning with a fire that seared through whomever lay at her mercy. Her eyes connected with no one, remaining closed, feeling the music. Almost making her audience want to beg for her to open them. 

She gripped the stand of her microphone tightly, which was perceived by many due to passion. But that, along with her unwillingness to open her eyes had Benny certain that it was out of fear, an uneasiness. Perhaps, he mused, she wasn’t used to the spotlight in such a way. 

Her voice, as well as her lyrics, evoked a feeling of utter euphoria and desolation, something Benny found unable to describe in any other way within that moment. He was embarrassed by it, almost as if her performance and presence had reverted him back to his teenage years. A scrawny and annoying thing reddening at the sight of an older, hotter girl merely making eye contact with him in the hall. 

She seemed beyond the reaches of his grip, out of his league, but he felt compelled to reach out nonetheless. 

When she finished, her voice climbing down from the crescendo of her song, she descended into silence. Opening her eyes to only look down at the legs of the tables in front of her, met with large cheers and applause. 

‘Thank you.’ 

Her voice was softer than he anticipated, light and free of the haunting that she sang with him. When she stepped off the stage, her head remain downcast, almost embarrassed to make contact with anyone. She took a seat at the bar, on a stool, and the burly bearded man from before - who had introduced her - placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it before he returned to the stage. 

The staff appeared familiar with her, offering wide encouraging smiles as the bartender placed a glass of rose in front of her. 

‘That was quiet a show,’ Anton remarked, pulling a cigarette out and placing it between his lips. 

‘Didn’t I tell you she was divine? She’s mesmerising.’ Eva said smugly, taking a gulp of her champagne.’I’m trying to get Aster to write a review of her for his entertainment column, but he said places like this are cheap.’ 

‘Aster would be correct.’ Benny mumbled, before he finished off the rest of his beer. ‘Excuse me.’ 

He stood, straightening out his shirt as he headed directly towards the object of his obsession of the night. The eagerness to leave the bar left behind him. 

[mymadmedleyw]

Fic Writer Review

I was tagged by @dp-marvel94 (I am just saying this is my very first occassion to by tagged in a thing like that, so filling this made my day really, thank you!)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

22 – wow, that sounds many…

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?  

206.997, and more than the half belongs under one idea – that’s creepy…

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?  

Oh, it’s many… once, I am into something, I have to write in that – surprisingly I am addicted to DP for nearly a year, and nothing else.

(But little bit of history, from the newest to the oldest: Danny Phantom, The Irregulars (that was really a short one), Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians (my very first finished multi-chaptered one was in that), Dark, Charmed (the old one, not the new series), Gravity Falls, Venom, Doctor Who, a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law, Death Note/Death Note: Another Note; and I had some ideas about a Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls crossover, and it seems I never uploaded here my concept about a not crossover Tangled: The Series idea, and either an independent one in Rick and Morty, hm… shame. Most of those are not finished. Okay, like 99% of it…)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Core (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~3k

What The Past Holds (Danny Phantom), wip, ~91k

Pitch’s Secret (Guardians of Childhood/Rise of the Guardians), finished, ~14k

We are not alone (Venom), really short one, ~1k

Phantom (Danny Phantom), stand-alone, ~2k

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?  

Definitely it’s WTPH. It’s my current work. The idea about it came in December, and since that, I am working on that constantly. At first, I had ideas for eight chapters, and nothing else. Now, it grew into this monstrosity: a side-line (Bonds Over Time), and a collection that contains the deleted scenes or ideas that appeared in my mind and could fit into the story (Bits Of The Past), and also an entirely finished concept for Vlad’s past (Certain Moment Of Time), that could be connected to it too.

I also put many headcanons in that, and ticks of characters, and parallels, and layers that I just love: like Vlad having a sister and some details about his family background, Dan having Vlad’s memories too, how the explosion in the Nasty Burger happened and how Dan turned out like that… some precious things, really, but I won’t elaborate much, in case of anyone wants to give a read to it. Overall, I tried to make the TUE-mess into a somewhat more reasonable logical mess – if I managed to do that at all. I don’t know I’m just like a mother with a new-born with it: look, it’s my child! I made it! I developed it! here, hold it! and love it too, as much as I do! (Sorry, I don’t know how that metaphor came…)

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Even if it’s a kudo, or a keysmash as a comment, I write back. I mean, if someone writes – literally anything – and spends time with it, I write them back too. (And my very bad habit, that sometimes, if the comment hits an interesting thought, I tend to explain the background behind that more, and accidentally spilling some things I shouldn’t yet... In many cases, it’s like a brainstorming, and then I use that idea. I mean as, for example many of @dp-marvel94’s comments on ff, made me to realise some things, and how then I fixed those forgotten parts made my story along with it much better – once, I will list them, and you’ll be surprised how long is that list, and how obvious things I forgot about entirely…)

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Okay, I don’t have many finished story – shame on me. So, I’ll count the shorts. I think it’s then Phantom. It rolls around the idea what if in Forever Phantom, Danny can’t change back to Phantom, and his parents blame Phantom for the disappearance of Danny, and they start chasing madly the ghosts, making them leave the human realm once and for all – which means, Danny has to go with them. It’s really a short fic, but I very like this idea, and it was my very first in this fandom. (I was watching DP that time, I mean, getting familiar with it, but this idea got stuck in my head as I watched that episode, so that was my introduction here. Also, I watched my very first DP episode that time, which means, less then a year ago, so, I am that newbie here…) I am not spilling the end of the story, but it doesn’t have a very happy end I could say.

8. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Uh, yes? I have a crossover within Tangled: The Series and Milo Murphy’s Law. It’s unfinished, but that time I thought Milo and Varian have the same vibe, including clumsiness. It was only a short idea that time, but it’s definitely worth once to continue or finish somehow. I have a crossover within Rick and Morty, and Gravity Falls. That is standing within my very big idea, but it’s halfway written on my original language and English and that’s like after how a certain trilogy end, but it has some mentioning of ideas I never finished, so yeah… it’s not even published anywhere. Maybe, once, I’ll decide what language I prefer for that, and translate the other part and then, hardly, but I’ll finish it some day... – or, never, it actually would be a very big bite if I try to imagine it.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t remember to that. I mean, my main story (WTPH) kind of not everyone’s preference, ’cause of Dan, so that’s already divides the readers and I haven’t got all in all many comments yet on my stories (kudos are appreciated too, I am shy too to leave comments on fics, so don’t worry, I get it), so I think I haven’t got any. But I'd be curious to experience if someone reads one of my stories and leaves behind a comment that then criticizing it. I mean, I’d be open to learn what part is not fitting, or just too much. (I am surprised that no one ever mentioned my ’weird’ sentences. I mean for me those make sense, but those make sense for a native English person too? I’m always worried about that…)

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Uh, yeah, I did. Not very proud of it, though I don’t have a heart to orphan that work. I mean, it belongs to me too. Sometimes I wonder to delete some of my works, but then I realise, no, that’s me, I won’t pretend where I came from, and shove into the dustbin my mad thoughts... All in all, my stories now, for a while, are much more family-friendly – if, anything within DP could be really counted as ‘family-friendly’…

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, I was very proud of my story back then, called Metamorphosis (Death Note), and I had a crazy idea and tried to translate it. So now, the first chapter is out there both in English and both in my native language, but I got stuck at the second chapter. I couldn’t translate wisely and logically the title of it to give out the many meaning it has in English. And I once tried to translate California (Gravity Falls) to English, but that would be a hard work, so I left it behind – maybe once…

Over that I sometimes has a crazy idea to translate back and forth my stories, no, beyond that, I haven’t had a fic translated from anyone else. And I think I am the only masochist that it ever crosses my mind, I guess…

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not really. I’d be curious to once do that – maybe, but I’m not sure...

(To tell the truth, I’d be worried about that. I’d be glad to do that once, but I am anxious if I could understand my co-writer, or not. I mean, do you have any idea that I have to give five reads to any longer comments to understand it? I understand those (and I really love getting those!), but I have to give many reads to make sure I understand those well, and then, making sure, I answer back right, and my sentences make sense. My fics have ’fancy’ words, and I love working in English, but sometimes it’s a curse it’s not my native one. So then, I’m constantly worried about interactions, if I receive well something, and if my sentences are understandable for others or not. So, in short, you can see my struggle here… same reason I don’t do Invisobang, but I am considering it...)

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m not very much a ship-type. But I count Danny and Sam, as a fix point. (Danny and Val was nice and I’d have been very glad to see them in more episodes, but let’s face it, that wouldn’t work, because both of them are too stubborn to choose their other life and if once, they would face with each other, knowing everything about the other, they’d remain allies or at most very good friends.) If, the question is, what are the ships in my head (but not necessarily just ‘romantic’) that I prefer to read, well, it’s Dan and Valerie. I love their dynamics, especially in Deliverance. I don’t know why I just love reading it. 

For other reasons I ship Dani and Valerie. Though I can’t write romance and stuff like that, but in one of my planned ideas they are dating - sort-of...

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Okay, there are many. Surely, it’s my Gravity Falls story, called California, but that’s a huge one, and the first one in a trilogy (plus some additional side-lines), and mainly in my head for years, so yeah… I think I won’t ever reasonably finish that as it should be finished. A Tale of Fords (Gravity Falls) could be count as one too. Oh, and Envision and ties (Doctor Who). Sad to say, but yeah, I am always saying, “maybe once”, but I am not sure when…

15. What are your writing strengths?

Okay, this is a funny thing, but I’ve realised I can’t deal with many characters at the same time. So, I think my strength are dialogues and interactions within two people. And I get into their thoughts, so I guess if I have to word it somehow: it’s character-studies then.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can’t handle more than two people. No, seriously, somehow it always turns out, the third is unconscious, sleeping, leaves the room, and so on. I’ve just recognised it recently, and it was a hilarious recognition…

I am also bad at actions, like very very bad, I don’t even try that, because my brain just simple can’t come up with fight-scenes at all. I think I only can write character-studies, and nothing else.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh, man… does it count I am not a native English-user? So, technically I ‘always’ write dialogues in another language? But jokes aside, sometimes, I have ideas that the people use another language, and I am like “are you aware, you can’t even write English slang?”, so then, I gave up. Right now, though, I am planning to add ASL in one of my future ideas. I am wrecking my mind, how to do that nicely – but that’s only a forming plan, and dated for next year, currently, I am only collecting ideas for that.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?  

Does it count my very first fic was a fanfiction of one of my friend’s fanfiction in high school? She wrote a really good story – not shared anywhere, we were just giving each other the hand-written exercise book (oh, the old days…). If I remember well, it was a crossover within Supernatural and Queen of the Damned (the movie, not the book). I had no idea about Supernatural, but the story was good, but I was not satisfied with the end, and in secret I wrote another end for it, to myself. I’m not sure where is that anymore, but I clearly remember that was my very first written stuff, and that’s how my origin story began and how is I am here now.

(Oh, and once, I wrote a H2O fanfiction short story to my sister as a name-day present, in which she was a mermaid, discovering her powers during a holiday at a beach (we were at that time in Croatia in a family holiday, so the timing was fitting), and that was one of my very first fandoms to write in it too… God, I have no idea why I wrote it down, it just crossed my mind, and I remember I thought it was cute, I think she was eleven or twelve that time, so I am not sure she appreciated as much as I found it fun to write that…)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?  

This is mean… anyway, currently it’s WTPH, for obvious reasons. But I am very proud how the Angst Week turned out (my work for that is called Certain Moment of Time). First of all, I doubted I would be able to write for every day, since I planned to do the whole DannyMay, but things turned out differently and I am still sad, I haven’t done many. But I did not just managed to write for all days, but all could be counted under one idea, and also each of the chapters could be read independently at the same time. It includes a little bit of background story about Vlad, about a rewritten time, his struggles at the hospital, things around Danny’s birth, how Danny managed to survive the Portal incident, how Vlad was informed about the Ghost Boy, and that actually Danny’s separation was just a ‘plan B’ that Vlad tried to avoid… it’s complicated to describe the many things in that, but when I feel WTPH an unescapable mess, and I am frustrated by the lack of proper words to finish the coming chapters, CMOT is my absolute favourite. And I love the whole idea about it. No, I’ll be honest, that’s my beloved so far (just because it’s finished). But I like so much too my idea about Dan and Dani in Bonds Over Time, how they try to live together a normal life… okay, let’s admit it, this question is mean, I seriously can’t tell, and I am thinking right now only my current ones…

20. What fic are you most proud of?  

Okay, this is mean too. I am proud of my old works as much that I always go back to them when I am in a nostalgic mode. (I haven’t read any of my old ones in ages, because I try to avoid distractions, and knowing myself, I’d start thinking about the continuation and never finishing my current works at all...)

I am proud of Pitch’s Secret, because that was my very first multi-chaptered one idea that I actually managed to finish. That in fact, gave me the courage to start working on a multi-chaptered DP one. (My original plan was to be brave and aim doing eight chapters, to top the five, and I would have been very proud of myself, but instead now it’s way longer than that original idea, and I seriously don’t know when it will end – twenty chapters maybe?)

I think, if I don’t include the previous question. (It’s the same, isn’t it?) I am very proud of the first chapter in my Doctor Who fic. That doesn’t tell anything about the plot or about anything, that just gives a very good atmospheric background. Every time I read that, it gives me shivers.

---

okay, I don’t know who to tag, anyone who feels like it, serve yourself, I am curious... :)

[eljackinton]

Jack's 2021 Video Games Review

Video games kind of took a bit of a back seat this year. Even without my wrist problems preventing me from playing mouse-and-keyboard for four months, lockdown depression has really sapped my ability to enjoy certain games. I finished neither Untitled Goose Game, Heaven will be Mine, Divinity Original Sin 2 or Horizon Zero Dawn, so my thoughts on those will be shunted to when I finish them. In the mean time, here's what I did get through:

The Outer Worlds (Plus Expansions)

As much as I wanted it to, Outer Worlds just did not work for me. It's Fallout inspired mechanics didn't seem to fit with it's tonally different world. It's high stakes plot clashed with it's more interesting, grounded concepts. It just didn't seem to come together... until Murder on Eridanos that is!

Murder on Eridanos is where Obisidian finally got Outer Worlds right. Combat took a back seat to dialogue and investigation. The story had a genuine mystery that could unfold in any order you chose. I really hope they use this DLC as a blueprint for future sequels.

Draugen

Red Thread already have a great track record of storytelling after The Longest Journey and Draugen didn't disappoint. While short, the game is a beautifully rendered, haunting tale of well realised characters that I really want to re-visit.

Phasmophobia

Spooky co-op ghost game that just gets more intense with every update. Even in it's jankiest moments it's fantastic with friends.

Void Bastards

Essentially FTL meets System Shock in the visual style of a 70's 2000AD strip, VB has some absolutely brilliant ideas, but I just wish there was more to it. Not a fan of giving each mission a ticking clock, which seems at odds with the 'at your own pace' ethos of imsims it's inspired by, and upon completion the various challenge modes offer little appeal for repeat play. Desperately hoping for a more expansive sequel.

Necromunda Underhive Wars (Long War Campaign)

Rogue Factor seem to be on the right track towards making a really interesting turn-based game after both Mordheim and this, but each attempt seems to fall just short of hitting the mark. After segregating all the interesting maps to the story mode, there's little reason to persist on the campaign beyond more random maps followed by more random maps. The right balance has yet to be struck.

Neo Cab

Absolutely brilliant cyberpunk thriller that takes place entirely within a future cab. Neo Cab is a game that takes the dialogue 'boss battles' from the latter day Deus Ex games but expands on it in such a way that they become the conceit of the entire game. Future RPGs like Mass Effect would be fools not to rip off it's ideas.

Sunless Skies

An absolutely fantastic follow up to Sunless Seas that dials back the simulation aspects and focusses more on the RPG storytelling. A great terrifying world, if not one that wears out it's welcome a little too soon. I still had whole areas of the map left to explore once I'd reached the victory condition, despite attempting a fresh captain with the Sovereign Edition.

Age of Wonders Planetfall

An interesting game that sort of attempts to be a spiritual successor to Alpha Centauri while drawing in elements from Endless Legend and previous AOW's. Fun to play, but some of the factions feel a little too finicky to play. Also the singleplayer campaign is much more of a chore than just playing big random maps, so I never continued past the first few missions.

Tomb Raider

I enjoyed the first of the Tomb Raider reboots, but I'm not worried about being late to the party. As exciting as this grim and gritty tale was, it's just not what I look for when I play a game called Tomb Raider. Unlikely I'll play either of the sequels.

Dungeon of the Endless

A simple game with a clear objective that nevertheless hides a greater complexity. Sunk hours into this game and became obsessed with mastering it.

Hunt Showdown

I'm not normally one of hyper-realistic multiplayer shooters but there's just something about Hunt that works. The fact that everything can go horribly wrong at any moment, or another player's misfortune suddenly becoming your gain, makes the game infinitely repayable. Every match feels like it's own story.

Hiveswap Act 2

At the end of the day, I'm still Homestuck trash, and Act 2 finally arrived to bring more of the characteristic chaos and menace from the series that the first act severely lacked. Can't wait for part 3, whenever that shows up.

Infra

Have you ever played on empty multiplayer maps and just wished you could walk out of bounds and explore the world beyond it's confines? That's what it feels like playing Infra. A well designed, beautiful black comedy, with great puzzles, quirky characters, that is too bloody long. Infra far outstays it's welcome, but I can't deny it's great otherwise. I'd be back for a sequel in a flash.

The Suicide of Rachel Foster

I've never been the kind of person to say an ending can ruin an entire experience but that's exactly what happened with Rachel Foster. A wonderfully produced, suspenseful mystery about being trapped alone in a hotel with only the voice on the radio for company, descends into needless nihilism, souring the entire experience.

Necromunda: Hired Gun

A flawed, if otherwise charismatic FPS that really nails the feeling and tone of the Necromunda setting. Wonderful gameplay and visual, brought down only by a plot that isn’t wild and imaginative enough to take advantage of this weird part of the 40k universe.

Mundaun

A well designed folk horror tale with a totally unique hand drawn art style, everyone who has played Mundaun has sung it's praises, so I'll just add mine to the pile and let you experience it fresh for yourselves.

Barotrauma

Clearly a game still in early access, yet I can't deny I find this game somewhat magnetic. When played with friends, everything falling to pieces has never felt more fun, and coming to blows with horrors of the deep never more intense.

Turok

Playing Turok is a fascinating experience. It has no real plot, is janky at points, the gameplay floaty and lifeless, and it's also slightly racist. Still, interesting to play a game that was trying to do large outdoor environments when all other shooters were locked in corridors.

Hedon Bloodrite

The first Hedon was an interesting attempt at creating a believable environment in the Doom Engine. Bloodrite is a full blown spiritual successor to Strife. An expansive, semi-open world, with a wealth of world building, intricate quests, rock solid shooter action and big buff orc women.

Halo Infinite

Infinite feels like a game designed just for me, a person who was never happier playing Halo 1 at Christmas. The story is nothing fancy, the open world is poorly implemented, and the melodrama is still there failing to get me emotionally invested, but damn if it didn't feel like the first proper Halo game in decades.

Gwent (2021 releases)

Gwent has been a game that has had me in the grip of an addiction since mid 2020 and thanks to regular expansions it keeps pulling me back. It's a game I love to hate, each successive instalment breaking the game in one way or the other and resulting in a proliferation of easy win decks. Yet I keep coming back. Maybe 2022 will be the year I break out.

And that's that. I'm sure there's a couple I forgot, and I hope to finish what I started. In the mean time, here's hoping you all have a good 2022, video game related, or otherwise.

[the-darklings]

—𝗖𝗢𝗔 𝗙𝗔𝗤;

Hello, everyone! So with COA being such a long-running series and new readers finding it constantly, I have come to realise that a lot of questions I get often repeat. So to keep everything easy and clear and friendly for everyone regardless of whether you started COA at the very beginning of the story or just recently found it, I have spent the day relaxing, eating junk food, and compiling this FAQ. Please read through it because chances are the answers are here somewhere. I have sectioned the guide into following: general, story, ships, original squad (OCs), AUS, OC!V and tips/advice. If the answer to your question is not here, please feel free to send me a message and have a wonderful day! <33 - kat.

GENERAL:

when does this story update?

I try to keep a bi-weekly schedule (now usually Sunday updates). But I always let you know when the chapter is done by making a final word count post (pre edits). 

do you have a masterlist?

yes, you can find it here.

do you have a tag list?

not for COA. they’re very time consuming and I’m already really busy sorry :(

are your requests open?

I rarely open my inbox for requests. the only exception being the monthly blurb nights. then I reblog a prompt list and let people send some requests in for any fandom/ship. however, usually due to how many I get, it only happens every few months. that being said, you can still send me ideas/suggestions and if it inspires me, I will write it. that’s how the majority of the AUs have come about. but i’m also a very busy person so sorry if I can’t. 

can I make X or Y for COA and tag you?

yes. yes. yes. please, please, feel free to create whatever for COA (no matter how small or silly) because I consider it a great honour that I’ve been able to inspire someone else. whatever it is, please tag me. I wanna see.

okay, I made a thing and tagged you but you didn’t respond :(

Tumblr is notorious for eating my notifs. whatever it is (art/post/etc) if I don’t respond to it in a day or two, please give me a nudge. you’re not being annoying, I promise. chances are I missed it/tumblr ate it. 

I wanna scream/discuss/theorise about COA with others, is there any way for me to do that?

my amazing readers have set up this reddit page that is full of lovely people, theories, and memes etc. I check it often and interact on there, too, so feel free to drop by.

STORY:

how many chapters will COA be?

25. the last one being a very long epilogue.

have you decided on the ending yet?

yes. from as early as part 2. it's barely changed since. 

will we ever see more of Prague/Naples? hoe, please say yes.

yes. I plan to write both as COA bonus stories after the main story-line concludes.

will there be a sequel? 

depends. on two things: 1) if anyone will even care by that point 2) time. this story has consumed 5 months of my life entirely. i’ve been incredibly strict with myself when it comes to writing it (in a good way) but at best it won’t be finished till the end of august/beginning of september. so likely even if I do, there will be a break for a few months at least. I do have ideas though.

you promised us smut. where is it?

patience is a virtue. ;)

happy ending or tragedy? (please don’t say tragedy, you monster)

I would describe it more as “bittersweet” but whether it leans more towards bitter or sweet you’ll have to see.   

SHIPS:

any endgame hints?

you know more about the ending than you probably realise

can v/s finally go to Paris? for the love of GOD? pLEASE?

no

hector + v? powerful. will there be more of them in the future? 

agreed & yes. hector and v have their own arc to go on. it’s actually one of my favourites in this story. I don’t want to say more than that right now because I have plans for their dynamic so no spoilers. :)

please stop bullying john. give us some j/v content please? 

i, for one, adore john. it’s team S that’s bullying him lol. but wait till parabellum. i’ve always referred to that portion of the story as the second coming of j/v.

does lucien actually have a thing for v or is it a creepy obsession? 

it’s both.

I ship v with everyone :/ is that bad?

the sky is the limit. ship all the things proudly (but seriously, no, it isn’t. I ship all the ships, too, and that’s the fun of it) 

v/elder tho? 👀

🔫🤡

j/v or s/v? be honest.

you fool,,,, you buffoon. ot3 j/v/s is where it’s really at. imagine their POWER.   

ORIGINAL SQUAD:

what do the Elites/Lovers look like/how old are they?

please refer to this

will there be more step??

of course. he’s my baby. :)

will we see more of camorra/learn more about the elite’s and their backstories?

while I would love to take the time and flesh them all out with full backstories, only hector will be getting his backstory explored in the main canon because plot.

does lucien care for mika anymore or has he replaced her with v?

lucien is a messy hoe. mika is his subject of “affection” but v is his foil and equal. he recognises the same hurt in her that he has gone through himself so it’s more of a fixation. with time, lucien would likely destroy v so no bueno. 

I ship our OCs.

I do, too.

can we write about your OCs/V?

so you would have to come to me and discuss this more in private but I’m fine with this sort of thing usually. in fact, a prequel hector story already exists so you’re likely good but please contact me first. 

AUs:

when/how often do you update the vampire!au?

whenever I have time/inspo. mainly time. so this means you can get it daily or not get it for several weeks because COA is priority. I keep you all updated on when I have something cooking tho.

what is the actual pairing for vamp!au?

undecided as of yet. i’m leaning more towards ot3 right now but we shall see.

how often do you update flowing in me?

same as the above. whenever I have the time but I will keep you updated.

how many parts will flowing in me be?

I have 5 parts(ish) planned.

do you have a tag list for flowing in me?

I will. please leave a comment on the story if you want to be tagged in future parts!

will flowing in me feature other characters (john, winston etc.)?

this story is mainly camorra-centric but I do plan for John to appear at some point.

how did you come up with your lore in vamp!au?

to be completely honest....I just wrote a bunch of stuff down and used what stuck. mostly the ideas were pulled out of thin air while still trying to keep within the spirit of the canon material (the high priest, the holy church, the twelve priests, john being the boogeyman etc). camorra as the natural enemy seemed fitting and santino as a vampire prince even more so.

can we send you new au ideas/expand on old ones (manager!V etc)?

yes, always. I always try my hardest to reply but ofc I can’t promise I’ll be able to use them all but thank you in advance.

OC!V:

who is the face claim for OC!V?

weronika spyrka

what is her real name?

clara

how old is she at the beginning of the story and now?

23 beginning of chapter 1, 30 beginning of chapter 4 (current timeline)

will/would you ever write an original story about her?

I have considered creating something original out of COA itself or one of its sister series/concepts (like FIM). since I really started working on COA during last year’s NaNo, that might be the time I create something original this year. 

TIPS & ADVICE:

how do you write so much, so quickly?

I don’t think that word count is really reflective of the quality work itself. I don’t think you should worry how much you write, either. 100 words can be just as valuable as 1k. most of them time I have a deadline breathing down my neck and I do work well under pressure so that inspires me to force the chapters out. I also do very long days because despite what it might look like I’m not a fast writer.

how can I improve my writing?

read and practice. I know it’s dumb and overused advice but it’s how I learned english and found my style (still a mess and WIP) but still this advice does help. 

how do you keep motivated?

spite, your support, genuine adoration for these characters/word, a lot of spite. 

do you plan? outline?

I have a vague story outline with specific scenes in mind as I go along (helps to set up foreshadowing, twists, and those ‘full circle’ moments). I also plan each chapter scene by scene and know what each chapter is meant to accomplish. So yeah in a sense. 

[ladyadalicialove]

Akumanettes ~ Part 1

So I’ve decided as a reward for finishing my exams to indulge in Akumatied Marinettes!! I love seeing people’s takes on what her form would be and so I decided to do a small series on some of those interpretations. 

This first part will be my own versions, one of which I’ve shown before. The next few parts will be a mix of my own and fanart of other akumanettes. 

These posts will show a song that I think fits with the akuma, the actual design with a quote, small explanation of the design/outfit, the story behind akumatisation and powers.

so go ahead read these first two and tell me what you think!!

.: Marionette :.

Song: The Puppet Song - SailorUrLove

The design/outfit is inspired by the puppet from the FNAF series. Personally I love the fact that many puppets have no expression or just a single expression. They are also symbolic of manipulation/control. Because of this I think that its a perfect base for an akumatised Marinette. 

I wanted to have a look that departed from everything that is her. Mainly the lack of colour with the obvious duo-chromatic palette. 

The long white hair is very ghostly, and so is the floating black coat. Along with her single expression, it makes her appear vacant. Which is what I want, because of my head canon that follows the story.

Story:

This is set in their last year of High-school, both of our favourite super heroes have been doing it for 4 years. Marinette has especially become good at stopping akumas reaching victims. She has thwarted Hawkmoth’s akumas from reaching their victims several times, enough that it has caused a severe decrease in his super villains. Since she actively seeks his victims and talks to them about their problems, thus preventing akumas it angers him. 

Hawkmoth has been waiting for the opportunity to akumatise Marinette for some time. He wants this girl to suffer, he wants his revenge against her. And he finally gets his chance when she graduates. 

The akumatised object is the red button on her coat. The button was Adrien’s. he gave it to her during their graduation. Why? Well Kagami told Adrien about how during graduation in Japan, certain buttons of a guys shirt mean things. She told him that the first button represents oneself, the second represents one’s most beloved person, the third one’s best friends and so on. She told him this in hopes that he give his second button to her, the one meant for a love confession.

Adrien however mixes the meanings of the buttons up and decides to give the second button to Marinette thinking it’s him telling her about them being best friends forever. 

He gives her his second button, the one meant for a love confession and he tells her all about how he wants to stay in touch after graduations. Marinette aware of the Japanese button tradition, thinks he confessing to her and she proceeds to confess her feelings. Marinette wants no regrets after graduation!!

Adrien however, realises his mistake and corrects himself, and rejects her.  Marinette of course says it okay and that she obviously got too excited. Adrien naively understands, but before he can get the button back she runs.

She takes her earrings off and instructs Tikki to go to Master Fu, believing she won’t have the will to fight Hawkmoth. Tikki tries to convince her otherwise but a purple butterfly entering the button interrupts them. Hawkmoth uses to opportunity to attempt to akumatise her, convincing her that Adrien manipulated her into her confession. He tells her she can control everyone she wants and never has to be manipulated by those she trust again (the irony lol). Thus Marionette is born.

Throughout the akumatisation, Marinette remains inside herself, aware of what is happening. Watching her akuma form create a web of white strings over Paris. Hawkmoth wants her to suffer from the damage and pain she will inflict onto Paris, since she has caused his mission to be extended and he is a bit salty.

I will leave the story there. 

Powers:

Marionette can control millions of the strings from her web that is strung across  Paris. Like a spider she can feel where her victims are and can snatch them. She cocoons them in her strings and they transform into horrifying little puppets that follow her command aka they just transform others into puppets. The puppet army is coming~

Marionette however remains in a giant ball of strings at the top of the Eiffel tower. Just imagine a giant white yarn ball on the tower. She sits there, limp and lifeless in the ball fighting Hawkmoth in her mind. 

The strings she makes are uncuttable but can be destroyed by Chat Noir’s Cataclysm. But he would have to Cataclysm a lot of her strings to untangle Paris, and I don’t Plagg is up for that. 

.: Ring Mistress :.

Song: Scooby doo! Big top - When the Circus Comes to Town 

So I have actually discussed this akumatised form in another post. But there was still loads of stuff I didn’t finalise til now. 

Her design is meant to be reminiscent of Circus Ring Leaders, with the red coat, top hat and cane. Her eyes are green because they look great in green and it implies her powers aka ability to change. They were purple before but I change it :p

I wanted her to look mature but not too sexy, hence why I changed her from the original concept. I had to scrap the whip it was too much lol. But the more simple design is more appropriate for her and she certainly looks evil now.

Story:

Another day, another lie from Lila. Marinette’s reputation had been crumbling since Lila had stepped into their classroom claiming she had Tinnitus in her left ear. Or was it the right ear? 

The final straw was not Lila cornering her in the bathroom for the third time that week. But Lila had told all her classmates that she had found a diary written by Marinette, it apparently detailed all the things she hated about her classmates.

Lila had ever so graciously read it out to her class, and they were furious. Alya wanted revenge and since Marinette had left to go to the bathroom. Alya grabbed Marinette’s school bag and proceeded to shred its contents with the help of the class. They laughed as they ripped apart her sketchbook and assignments. They cackled when they destroy her stuff.  

Marinette came back to see it unfold before her. Her heart sunk as she stood frozen in the doorway, fat streams of tears had come. Her sniffle caused the class to look at her. Alya thought when Marinette discovered their doings she would have yelled out them, pull a Chloe or something. Not a confused, scared and hurt pig-tailed girl. 

Marinette ran to the bathrooms. Passing Adrien who had finally arrived from a photoshoot. (sunshine boy has no clue)

Bursting through the doors, she crashed into the tiled wall. Marinette choked a sob.

Within a few minutes Tikki had taken the earrings, she couldn’t calm Marinette down.

- intermission~ I have written a good chunk of a fanficition based on this so I won’t give the whole story away I guess -

The akumatised object is a photo of her friends, it’s placed in her hat alongside a random card. Being a hero meant she knew how to prepare against Chat. By having a decoys such as fake earrings and the car, she has possibly increased her akuma longetivity especially if Chat grabs the wrong one to cataclysm. 

sis aint playing games

Powers

Ring Mistress of course has increased speed and agility, and that cane can do some damage. However her main ability is to turn people into circus performers based on that person’s sin. She transforms the whole class excluding Adrien (he gotta be a leather boi) into circus acts. So far this is list I’ve created based on the class:

Nino + Alya - Knife Throwing = How can these two trust each other not to hurt each other when they hurt Marinete? Ring Mistress would love to know.

Lila - Corntortionist = Lying means to twist words, might as well bend along with them, eh Lila? 

Sabrina + Chloe - Lion Tamer = Abusive and an exploitative relationship. I kinda want Chloe to be the Lion? I drew it up and its funny as. Uno reverse card biotch!

Kim - Strong Man = My dude is pretty vain when it comes to his athleticism, so gotta make him a strong man!! I imagine he is the only one having a good time during this akuma attack. 

Alix - Human Comet = A risk-taker or over confident? This cocky daredevil will give you an explosive time at this circus!

Rose + Juleka - Trapeze Act = This absolutely cute duo is terrified of losing each other! Ring Mistress hopes they don’t slip, after all there isn't a net to catch them~

Max - Juggler = So many projects, so little time! How does a human calculator calculate that? Juggle those robots Max! 

Nathaniel, Mylene and Ivan, are the ones I don’t know about. Maybe background clowns?? I need help to decide what is best for them.

Ring Mistress is desperately looking for Adrien to turn him into a clown though. After all only a clown would rather maintain complacency than help a friend in need. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That’s it for this akumanette post! I would love to hear your thoughts on these head canons of mine!! I hope to write stories on them and add some illustrations of the puppets and the class as a circus over the next couple of days. 

Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading it!

Next part might be La Justice fanart >o<

[rkxsoojin-blog]

 MGA5 C A L L B A C K SINGING I DON’T WANT IT AT ALL by KIM PETRAS [1:53-2:28, 3:05-4:06]

 It takes Minkyung a minute to check her email, even after she hears the tiny little ding of the notification, and when she does, she’s initially a little surprised; she thinks she did pretty well at her audition, she just hadn’t given much thought to the what if of her actually making it through. Somehow in her mind it had been done and dusted the moment she’d returned her cute little nametag and left, and mentally, she had moved on. 

 For a moment, she considers backing out; she hadn’t really auditioned out of any true desire to be an idol, right? But there’s already a pool of leaden resolve forming in her belly, one that she recognises, and one that she isn’t exactly happy to see. 

 Minkyung loves a good challenge. She’s competitive down to her very core, and knowing that out of all the idol hopefuls, all the fame-hungry whomevers that would have auditioned for this show, that she’s in the top hundred? She’s satisfied with that, she just thinks she could do a whole lot better, that’s all. 

 Not to mention that the audition itself had been really quite fun. Minkyung feels like she’s her best self when she’s performing, and the allure of a bigger stage, more of a production, as opposed to some practice room in the back of a high school is positively alluring. 

 She immediately begins bouncing options around in her mind, and as always, she’s got a thousand ideas buzzing about her, so it’s really a job of whittling the numbers down. 

 The one thing she knows for absolute certain is that she wants to make a bit of a scene, it’s just a question of how to do so in the way she wanted to, with a bit of subtlety, so it might seem a little more organic. 

 She decides that she wants to lean into the cutesy thing, in an ever-so-slightly tongue-in-cheek way, as always. She supposes that’s just her thing. 

 The outfit comes first, for some reason, a little high-waisted denim mini skirt, a faded Spice World tee, a choker, and a pair of glittery silver knee-high boots that she’d gotten from a stall in Hongdae that were almost certainly some kind of designer bootleg. 

 It’s then, looking at the bootleg leg boots that she has a bit of a creative epiphany. 

 She doesn’t want to do something dour, or serious, not yet at the very least. She wants something bubblegum bubbly, something fun and bouncy, so she designs to lean into the fraudulent designer aesthetic and do I Don’t Want It At All; a high energy bop with cutesy materialistic lyrics that will be fun to jump around to. It’s also a rather challenging song in some respects, and Minkyung relishes chances to show-off just a tad. 

 She isn’t a dancer, so she doesn’t bother with a choreography, or any such thing, but instead sets into figuring out an arrangement. She only has two minutes and wants to make sure that her performance still has a sense of build, some peaks and valleys, lest it become monotonous by remaining at a singular level the entire time. She also wants to make sure she can show off a decent range of vocal technique within that short time span. 

  She opts to do the second verse and the pre-chorus, to create a bit of a build from a lower energy to a higher one, but instead of going straight into the chorus, she’ll instead jump into the bridge, and finish off with the final chorus, which is higher energy than all the ones before it, and will also give her the opportunity to really belt out a high note or two. She thinks it’s a well-balanced arrangement, and she practices it often enough that the song clings to her head like glue, almost driving her nuts. 

 By the time the day of rolls around, she wakes up to the song already playing in her head, which is perhaps a good thing. 

 She dolls herself up, throwing a denim jacket over the outfit she’d previously selected, cinching her hair into a high pony, something fun to throw around, and before long, she’s arrived. 

 It’s always interesting seeing the other side of this sort of a production, the security check-ins, the form-signing, the cameras and boom mics and stage lighting, the bones of the operation all naked like you never see them on the actual show. Its both grounding and a little exciting, like being let in on a big secret. 

 She finds a seat at random, smiling at Yuqi and her little girlfriend as she passes them by, quietly wishing them luck and ending up sat between a girl called Kyulkyung, and a boy called Suwoong, surrounded by a great load of noisy people, which ends up being great fun. Her and Kyulkyung eye one another up for a moment, whispering a few mild critiques and some small talk between one another before she’s distracted by Suwoong, who is uniquely friendly, on a similar wavelength to herself, Minkyung thinks. He initiates small talk with her, leaning over after every performance so they can express some brief opinions on it, their opinions becoming more imaginative as the performances continue, eventually turning into a strange game of elaborating on the theoretical life of the contestant in question based on their outfit, or gait, or choice of song and dance. 

 The section she’s sat with are all chatter, and they cheer and clap for every contestant who goes up, and by the time Minkyung hears her name called, shes been imbued with enough of that joyous energy that she hops up with zeal, finding her way to the stage easily where she she bounces into the the designated spot, the stage lights immediately rather warm against her skin, the cameras trained on her. 

 She gives the judges, and the camera, a sweet smile, bowing a good ninety degrees before pulling back up and introducing herself with a bit of a giggle. 

 “Hello! I’m Kim Minkyung! It’s nice to meet you on the stage today” she says, the smile that parts her lips suddenly a little strange, mysterious almost, as though she knew something those whom she smiled at did not. The glimmer of confidence, the cool unarrogant sort, unmistakable in her eyes. She doesn’t bother expressing some hope that they’ll enjoy her performance, as she’s more than hopeful that they will. She’ll make sure they do.

 There’s a brief count from some staff members behind the cameras, and without time to waste, the music starts, an instrumental that she’d artfully snipped together herself to match the arrangement she was doing. As it does, she doesn’t begin to sing, having purposely left a few extra seconds of music on the front of the track, but rather feigns surprise, almost worry, lifting an urgent finger to the judges to indicate that they wait, as though she’d forgotten something crucial, skittering quickly to the side of the stage in her boots, where she bends down to accept a plastic tiara, with little LED lights spelling the word “princess” on its front from a waiting staff member, a gag that she’d arranged beforehand, even though everyone on the show’s end seemed to be confused by the request. She secures the fluffy pink tiara tightly to the front of her head with a smile, flicking a switch on its rearside to turn the lights on, and then skips confidently back to the centre of the stage, stomping her feet into a self-assured stance and jumping right into her verse.

If you wanna get down tonight You better hook it up at the place I like Better make it fit like the perfect size Aw yeah, aw yeah And if you give me everything I want You go from none to number one Yeah, you're so cute, yeah, you're so fun Aw yeah, aw yeah

 She holds her position for this potion of her performance, her voice easy over top the bright, glittery synths. As she slides into the pre-chorus she begins to strut along the stage, each girlish stomp in time with a beat of the song. She’s not a dancer, but she’s got enough bodily sense to keep on rhythm as she bops and sways along with the song, a grin on her lips, pivoting her head so that she can feel her ponytail whipping about behind her. 

Baby, don't you fight it Close your eyes and swipe it Maybe I could be with you If you buy me diamonds And you keep me smiling Baby, I can be with you Oh, with you 

 Minkyung is having a lot of fun with her performance, bouncing along with each word, the vocals themselves having yet to become too demanding for that. She flutters her eyes with girlish flourish, mimicking the motion of a credit card swipe alongside the pertinent words, pointing at the camera with a wink, smiling wide and flashing the cartoonishly large hunk of plastic masquerading as a diamond on the cheap costume jewelry she was wearing. She’d initially wanted to strike a balance, to figure out how to be peppy and referential without being too much, but she had realised that being a little too much was a perfect fit for this particular song, and had decided to lean into it as a concept, summoning every drop of pseudo-ironic bubbly zest she could, although the gleam in her eye was entirely real. 

 She ends the pre-chorus with a high note on “Oh, with you,” ceasing her gleeful prancing so she could properly belt in out, the music fading into a more subtle, slow synth build beneath her as she flips her ponytail with apparent delight to sing an adorable “Woo! ah...” once the high note is through, blowing a kiss with the judges with her two fingers before bringing her hand forward so she could form a finger heart in the same motion, in time with each syllable. The gallivanting she’d been doing across the edge of the stage now slowing to a sensuous prowl to reflect the energy of the song itself.

I don't want it all  Give me summer in the Hamptons Give me summer in the Hamptons (I don't want it at all) Give me summer in the Hamptons In the Hamptons In the Hamptons I want all I want

 On the original track, the bridge made use of a robotic filter of sorts, but Minkyung takes the opportunity to show off some of her technique, leaning into a bit of vocal fry distortion to give her voice some edge and grit in lieu of any metallic effect, the bridge slowly building into a belt before she jumps straight into the final chorus, which she opts to stand still for, having found her way to centre stage once again, she focuses her attention back onto the microphone, and her singing, knowing that this bit was a challenge in terms of maintaining proper breath support, the way she wanted to do it. 

I want all my clothes designer (Ooh!) I want someone else to buy 'em (Yeah!) If I cannot get it right now (Now!) I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it at all I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it at all Give me all of your attention (Ooh!) Give me summer in the Hamptons (Yeah!) If I cannot get it right now (Now!) I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it at all I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it at all

 The synths rocket upwards in intensity the minute the bridge ends, and Minkyung launches right into the chorus, asserting what she wants and how she wants it. She chooses to lean into some of the ad-libs that Kim had done on the final chorus, including a sustained belt at the end of the fifth line. It’s fairly close to the ceiling of her range, especially after all of the energy she’d just expended, right in the middle of a bunch of other singing, and she has to sneak a breath as inconspicuously as possible, almost gasping it, turning her head away from the mic to do so. She manages it, however, having practiced this exact part almost endlessly, and plows through the rest of the chorus with a smile of self-satisfaction gracing her lips. 

 The song ends just as she makes one final declaration of how she wants it, and she’s sure to close with a bit of flourish, bringing her arm up in a big dramatic swoop to pose cutely with a v-sign at her temple. 

 She’s shocked at first, by the cheers from her little loud section, jumping ever so slightly before bursting into a laugh, bowing and thanking the judges quickly before she returned to her seat, happy to plop down in her seat, her legs trembling with the rush of adrenaline.

 As she watches the next contestant step up to bat, she begins to process just how much she enjoyed that, the bloom of desire to win this in her chest now twofold in nature.

[the-queer-look]

Shay my name

Often we are criticised, and belittled, for the new terms which we are using to fully describe our identities. It may sound weird to those who’ve never had to think about their own, but at least in English, we have the language to describe what we’re talking about. In some places around the world, there literally aren’t words to fully describe someone’s identity, and that can leave people feeling isolated.

- K

Name: Shay

Age: 27

Gender/Orientation:Agender, gray asexual

Occupation:Digital Designer

Location:Strathfield

I’m from Vietnam originally, and have been in Australia for about eight years. I went to an international college in Vietnam; That school got into some trouble with the government and got shut down, they decided to move all the students to either Singapore or Australia to finish their bachelor degree, and I decided to come here, and liked it so much that I decided to stay. I’ve been working professionally here for the last five or six years now.

In Asia, especially Vietnam and Thailand, there’s this thing where even in a relationship between two queer people, there’s a hierarchical thing where one person is considered a man, and the other a woman, and I never understood that. But thanks to the internet, I looked into it and read a whole lot and came across the concept of non-binary, and it just felt right, and really liberating. I embraced it, and now I feel like a person, defined by myself, rather than defined by my gender, that my physical body is just a vessel for me to experience the world. Identifying as non-binary helps me be free-er.

The internet is massively influential. There’s all this information that you cant necessarily find anywhere else. In my particular situation, I had to use the internet to find out what other cultures and communities were doing and saying about these things. Theres no way to refer to people in the Vietnamese language without specifying their gender, so when I go home, people in the Queer community tend to use male pronouns for me, because I tend to present more masculine, but the internet helped me to realise that theres more than that – there’s “They” which has been an accepted non gendered pronoun since the 1500s for example, which just felt so much more comfortable for me. Just having access to this knowledge through the internet give you so much power, and so much personal agency.

Because im a small person, it’s rather tricky to get the clothes that I want. I like mens clothes because, for one, they have pockets! And for another, although I love the feminine side of myself, I feel like the fashions that are associated with femininity don’t represent me particularly well. When I was Eighteen, I started experimenting by buying mens clothing, but more and more these days, I’m finding myself comfortable in buying and wearing either masculine or feminine clothing, depending on how well it works with my wardrobe. Because I work in the tech industry, I have a bit more leeway to express myself, so anything that lets me hit that non-binary spot is great. And as I’ve grown more comfortable in myself, and my identity, I’m letting myself branch out from this stricter, all black, all neutral expression, and be a bit more lively with colours and patterns that I wouldn’t have felt comfortable in before.

When I came to terms with being non-binary, I didn’t have the words to explain it in my mother tongue, but in a more progressive environment, like Australia, you can explain it very simply, very quickly, and because the language to explain it is easier to use, its much easier for people to understand, even if they haven’t heard of the concept before. It’s still a struggle though, people are always staring at me, trying to figure out my gender, I get yelled at in public bathrooms, but at least having a word that legitimises my identity is a big step forward.

The culture of Asia is so gendered that I already have a hard time explaining homosexuality to my mother, but I’ve never approached the subject of my gender identity with them because they don’t have the words to actually discuss the topic, and when I explain it to my friends, they’re quite taken aback, because the culture is so defined along gendered lines. Like I was saying before, if you have a lesbian couple, whichever one presents more masculine is referred to with masculine pronouns, and assumed to take on more masculine roles. When I explain my identity to them, they ask me why I have to define myself that way, instead of just saying that I’m a butch woman. And I need to explain to them that I don’t actually identify as a woman at all. It’s difficult, but also I feel like its a duty for someone in a position like myself, which is having the privilege of living in a western country, but also going back home to a more conservative country and spread what I’ve learned so that others can see identity as a whole rather than splitting people into boxes.

Human brains always try to put people in boxes, and define things. In reality, everything exists on a spectrum and everyone moves back and forth and changes all the time. I know that once I was able to identify and understand this, that I began to have a different view, not just on stereotypes within the queer community, but stereotypes in general. Stereotypes exist for a reason, they exist because it makes it easier for our brains to navigate the world, and I think that’s fine, but at the same time everyone needs to understand how people change constantly. The stereotypes are fine, but you can’t just be defining someone completely based off of a stereotype, you need to be able to take a step back and understand that they are a multi faceted human being. Although it’s useful to have these archetypes to define yourself by, it’s counterproductive to define someone externally based on a stereotype.

My partner and I were bingeing Xena, and having these conversation about why we never talked at the time about how this show was about two queer women leading their lives and having adventures and being wholesome about the whole thing? But we found that the studios in the 90’s went through and censored everything about their relationship. Reading the comics though, where there’s no censorship like that was really uplifting and validating. It’s not a non-binary person, obviously, but the representation of a bisexual woman having a wholesome relationship with another woman feels so validating that our identity is not being erased or oppressed every day because people cant handle how different we are for not fitting into the boxes that society has made for us. The question is, why didnt we have these role models of queer people, showing us these healthy relationships, and healthy intimacy. Why did we get The L Word instead? Don’t get me wrong, I love The L Word, but also, it’s trash, in the way that it presents these ideas of queer relationships, its a bit toxic. They’re coming back with a new season, however many years after the fact, and I’m so glad that they seem to have learned lessons about appropriate representation, for example they’re having an asian trans man, playing an asian trans character, which is great. I feel that when you don’t have appropriate representation for yourself, kids get the wrong ideas about the world, like how The L Word gave the wrong idea about how the community works to a lot of young lesbians, including myself, back when that’s how I identified. And then there’s the “i cant see myself successful because I’m a queer person” mentality. Kid’s are dying out there and thinking that they cant achieve the sort of success in their lives that they want to achieve, simply because they’re a part of the queer community, which is horrible.

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[fightevilandthengetblownup]

FIC: Watching Over You

—

“Will someone fucking help me?!”

He found himself snarling into his headset, jaw clenched and hands tight around the controller as he struggled to extract his character from the line of fire he was currently pinned under. Playing healer was the absolute worst thing; Grey was one death away from suggesting they switch to deathmatch so he could murder each and every one of his team mates.

“Jesus, Grey, don’t get your panties in a twist.” The quip came through in that almost sleep-roughed Brooklyn voice that he’d come to learn belonged to the tallest of the old Ghostfacers crew. Kenny Spruce, only ever going by Spruce and the one time he’d called him Kenny had resulted in a ten minute rant from the man himself and then a very offpitch version of Dangerzone from the other two Ghostfacer alumni on the channel, gave a laugh as he responded, but Grey knew he was kidding when he saw the Genji appear up the side of the building he’d been trapped on with his cyber-agility before unleashing his typical shuriken attack on the three enemies that had been surrounding the party-healer left alone without support. “What you even doing up here, man? Didn’t we say you’d stay with payload this round?”

“Yeah, but that was a stupid fucking tactic.” Grey hissed back, his anger dipping slightly as all three enemies are taken out and his character’s passive regen can start up again. “Plus they just blasted the shit out of me to start with, had to get out of the way for a bit.”

“Fair enough. I got him sorted, guys.” Spruce sounded amused still, and Grey could almost feel him nodding as if they were all in the same room and not spread across the entire country.

***

Getting a regular team together had been Harry’s idea. Something about getting his friends to all be friends, and then it turned into some kind of propoganda plan to help out Grey’s reputation with some of the more open-minded hunters.

It has started with Grey and Harry just playing in random match up together shortly after the game came out when Harry’d decided to bring the game and his extra screen over with him. Usually Grey wasn’t huge on FPS’ but this was bright and colourful, and he really began getting suckered into the art style and the backstories of the characters the more Harry walked him through it. He’d started out using Tracer due to it being Harry’s second so he could talk Grey through the best ways to play and use the character, but after a few random match up games, he’d learned pretty quickly no one liked playing healer and someone had to suck it up and roll that way, and who better than him?

About a month later, Harry had called him up and asked if he was free to join him and two of his old Ghostfacer friends that they were just starting to get back in touch with for a few games. Jo had shaken her head from where she’d sat with a few case files and books open around her when he’d asked if the noise would bother her or not, and Grey’d signed in and joined up with them pretty quickly. That his introduction to two of Harry’s best friends before the bar was running about Caduceus Staffing the pair as if he’d worked with them for as many years as his friend had put him off to a good footing. Ed, their Reaper or Reinhart depending on the rest of the team combination, was more than happy after a few rounds to question if Grey’d be available to join them more often in future. He had barely kept the smile off his face, and heard a lot of puking noises from the other guys through his headset when Jo’d leaned over and kissed him after the next round rather noisly.

The four of them continued to play, several nights a week every week, for the next three months and Grey had begun to think of the other two men as some of his closest friends as well.

—

Hey Grey, the boys are actually free and coming up to visit next weekend, you good to come round to the bar for a few drinks and a BBQ?

Harry’s text had made him feel almost giddy the moment he’d seen it, that he was being invited along to an event with ‘the boys’ felt unusual but also so normal all at once. There was a flash of concern about the bar and the safety measures that had once again been put in place cutting him off from being able to agree, until his phone buzzed again three times in quick succession.

Sorry man, forgot about the Iron Jo said we can do BBQ at yours We’ll be round Saturday

That giddy feeling was back immediately upon seeing it. Not only was Harry willing to change his plans to fit Grey in along with the rest of his friends, which somehow made him feel both upset for making those plans have to change but also so good that his friend cared enough to change them for him, but Jo had already okayed the idea of four guys hanging out, drinking beers and taking over the backyard and/or kitchen without a moments hesitation from the sound of it. Facilitating his making new friends, and helping him without it feeling stifling.

His nervous energy had lasted all the way through to the weekend, and Jo had given up even rolling her eyes at him as he’d cleaned up and tidied the living room, kitchen and backyard for the fourth time that morning. She was more focussed on simply getting the minute steaks defrosted and potato salad she claimed her mom used to make prepped for the afternoon.

It felt strange in a way to put a face to a voice and name as the three men had arrived. It felt stranger still for him of all people to find that concept strange, he’d practically invented putting a name and face to a disembodied voice after all. However, the odd mix seemed even stranger when he realised he’d been added to the equation.

Spruce was not what he had expected - almost 6″3 and a patchy beard growing alongside the full black ensemble and glasses. It matched the quiet yet rumbly voice Grey was used to, and he definitely seemed friendly enough from the immediate fist bump greeting as he’d headed through the house to the backyard as Grey’s waved instruction.

Ed matched exactly to what Harry had told Grey of before, and even recognised vaguely from some old video he’d been shown by either Harry or Jo once upon a time. However he’d stopped dyeing both his hair and shaving his facial hair if the dark hair and fully developed beard was anything to go by. Ed even pulled him into a one armed, chest bump-back hit move as his own greeting, and Grey had to bite down a smile of his own realising he wasn’t dwarfed at all by this friend of Harry’s like the other one.

The afternoon had been as if all of them had known eachother for years, talking easily and sharing ciders or beer or soft drink depending on who it was throughout the afternoon until Jo’d called out that lunch had been ready. Spruce had made a joke originally about women in the kitchen and how it’s supposed to be the man’s job to cook a BBQ, but it had been the one and only awkward moment of the afternoon - especially as he’d quivered under Jo’s death glare and Harry had whispered something loudly about not wanting to piss her off ever.

Excepting that moment, all four men had had a great afternoon which had bled into evening and ended up with all four crowded in the front lounge with a second PSN from the bar brought along and playing a few drunken deathmatches.

Jo had brought in the ordered pizza around the end of the first hour of rounds, and Grey had even felt comfortable enough around the other’s to drag her into his lap and try to show her the ropes of the game.

“Yeah, lets teach the little lady how to play, should be fun as.” Spruce’s comment sounded a little too on the edge of asking for trouble, but from what Grey could remember he was about eight beers in and given he’d lost the last four rounds despite sticking to his main Genji, there was clearly a disconnect somewhere in his head. “Pretty little thing like you Jojo probably don’t know nothing about games, aye?”

“Bet she only plays those girly simulation games.” Ed added on, a drunken smirk on his face as he looked over at the pair of them cuddled up on one of the arm chairs from his spot beside Harry on the main couch. Harry for his part looked like he was too bemused by his mates comments and the fact he knew Jo could destroy the pair of them in her sleep to correct them as Jo had snarled in response.

“Fuckin’ bring it on, dickwads.” Her words were fighting words, and Grey didn’t even think about it impacting his points as Jo’d taken his controller off of him and switched characters at the loading screen for their next round. Somehow it seemed to fit when she chose Soldier 76; and he didn’t miss the way Jo looked over at Harry for an imperceptable nod from the researcher before she fully selected it. “Get ready to die, bitches.”

“After you, girlie.”

It barely surprised Grey when it turned into a bloodbath immediately, nor that the moment the game started Jo’s Soldier had Spruce’s Genji trapped and dead within thirty seconds. It also didn’t surprise him as he noticed Harry’s Winston avoided her character and as such her wrath like the plague. Ed’s Reinhart was the next dead, and for the next three minutes as their death tallies continued to be counted up and ranked against the other four unknown players in the round that Grey’s username was sitting up at the very, very top with a healthy ten-kill margin above the next highest.

Throwing the controller into his lap a little too harshly as the round finished, Jo’s play clearly trumping anyone else as well as the screen showing through a 10 kill spree of all headshots as Play Of The Game she’d enacted about halfway through the match time, the blonde had given the two newcomers a sneer before gesturing for their pup to get up from where she was seated and heading upstairs with a “I’ll leave you boys to it” over her shoulder. Grey couldn’t help the tiny smirk that started up at the flabergasted look on both other men’s faces before they started up the next round.

It was another two beers and almost ten comments about “Damn, that play though” before Harry decided to let the other’s in on that they’d just gotten schooled by a real shooter and none of them had started another round until the bitching about “unfair advantages” had died down some twenty minutes later. Another three beers and Harry was summoning an Uber, Ed was wrapping Grey up in the tighest hug he’d experienced from an inebriated man with a lot of tears and “where were you when we needed another Facer?”, and Spruce had then dog piled in on it with a call about how “damn cool Harry’s new mate” was and “you sure your girlfriend isn’t single” before Harry chased the pair of visiting friends into the waiting Uber and shared a bemused look with Grey as they all parted ways for the night.

After that, Grey knew he now have two more good friends, even if they were a bit weird in their own way.

—

It was another month before the fifth member of their little group joined them for the first time.

Harry had organised the usual gaming session about an hour later than usual with the simple message that got another friend whos free to play, and the idea of adding a fifth member to their usual roster suited them all pretty well. If they managed to find one more, they could actually play with friends and friends only rather than having a few odd swing ins for matches against other groups.

When Jo had swung past and heard him up later than usual on her way up to bed from one of her late night baking sprees, he’d handed her a spare pair of headphones to listen in on the group and found out that their new guy was a hunter like her. Grey had played attrociously that round, barely managing to heal anyone on the team as his fingers have shook and fumbled too much to fire straight or connect right on the others.

Jo had said it seemed ‘fitting’ that the other hunter was trading between McCree and Ashe every other game, as if trying on which style of player he wanted to be, before kissing him good night and retiring to bed with Nana. He knew he could wake her up when he got upstairs if he was still stressed, but that felt like a bit of a defeat to him of how far he’d come, of how far he’d pushed past being impacted by interacting with hunters who didn’t know who or what he was. Instead, he’d simply curled up around her, arms around the waist and face buried in that vanilla scented hair like he wasn’t still being impacted by a surprise hunter involvement.

It had taken another three weeks before Grey had found out which hunter it was, other than going by the screenname MrFizzles2000.

—

“Hey so is it okay if Garth stops by this afternoon?”

“Who?”

“Garth. He’s a hunter, but he’s chill. Like you already like him.” Jo had raised an eyebrow up at him from where she was currently in the middle of some intricate looking chocolate and dough bread…thing. “He got a bit banged up on a job nearby and asked if he could swing by for a patch up.”

“I don’t know any hunters called Garth.” He frowned at her, resting a hip against the countertop as he watched her working. The frown didn’t last too long, though his brows still creased, when she had swiped a bit of the chocolate mix onto a finger and offered it out to him with that entirely too innocent look on her face that let him know she knew exactly what she was doing.

Jo shook her head at his words, an eyeroll clearly being fought from showing, before she licked the chocolate off her own finger at his look. “Sure you do, MrFizzles? He’s cool, he’s chill, and he already knows all about you, hun, and he’s the absolute last hunter who would ever be predjudice against you for that.”

That had sounded too good to be true, and he had pressed further for more information just as soon as he’d finished tasting the chocolate from her lips.

“He got bit, werewolf hunt gone bad last Spring. I’ve been workin’ with him on ways to stay in the game and also stay on top of the situation.” Jo had smiled up at him so sweetly at that as she watched him carefully, that he had trouble keeping his look blank at the revellation that the hunter he played video games alongside was both a hunter and a monster too. That there had been no real reason for him to be so concerned and nervous, but at the same time, the whole idea of a monster as a hunter seemed far fetched even with progressives like Jo, Sam and Harry running about. Her smile had dropped a little as she saw his impassive look, and added quietly, “You hadn’t noticed I duck off near full moon each month? I’ve been keeping my hunts set so I can get to his home and help keep an eye on ‘im during the transformation times now it’s all gone back to mostly normal. He’s a sweet guy, he doesn’t deserve what’s happened but damn if he’s not workin’ hard not to let it stop him doin’ the job.”

“I hadn’t actually noticed-”

“Didn’t think so. But yeah, Harry, Garth and I have been workin’ on the hunter portal cause they’re both big geeks and I guess Garth and Harry realised you guys all play the same games so there you go.”

Grey rolled the thought over in his mind for a moment as Jo had spun in his arms to resume her complicated plaiting of her chocolate bread dough, the chocolate was rippled through it in veins and he was sure it was going to be amazing from what he’d already tasted; before tucking his chin over her shoulder. “Fine, he can stop by. Given I doubt he’s going to try to… gank me?”

There had been a laugh at that, and Grey had found himself almost pacing in the front lounge for the next hour awaiting the arrival of the man who was somehow an unknown hunter, a fellow monster and his mystery team-member all at once.

The first Grey had seen of him was a tall but bean-stalk like guy wrapping Jo up into a tight hug that managed to lift her feet up from the floor and spun her around when just looking at him such a feat should have snapped him in two. There was such a friendly look to him despite the extremely gross mess that was one half of his face, that somehow the clearly openhearted and friendly demeanour broke through even the worst of injuries. “Joey, hey, thanks so much for letting me stop by. Just got on the wrong end of a chupacabra.”

“Yeah I can bloody see that!” Jo had laughed as the man had let her back to her feet, and she’d raised a hand to look at the other’s mangled face - pieces of skin sliced and torn all over one side of his face, and Grey could see a bit of blood smeared on Jo’s hair from where it had touched the area during their hug. “Well not to worry, I’ll get you all patched up soon enough. You know Grey?”

“Grey! Hey man, so good to finally meet’cha!” The next thing Grey knew, he too had been pulled up into a tight hug without a moment to prepare for it, while the hunter wrapped his scrawny arms around his shoulders and rocked back and forth for a second. Garth was still talking, that exceptionally friendly tone bleeding through even Grey’s panic at the unexpected move, “I’ve heard so much about you from Joey and Harry. Been so lookin’ forward to meetin’ you finally. Sorry it couldn’t be better circumstances, man.”

He’d been released after a full thirty-Mississippi’s, and Grey had forced himself not to smoke away out of fear or jerk back more than a polite step as the hunter let him go and continued through to the kitchen at Jo’s gesturing. She had stopped and reached out for his hand, squeezing tightly as she gave him an understanding look as he let out a shaky breath. It took him another few minutes to work down the panic, splash his face with water and then head into the kitchen to see if there was any additional assistance needed once he had calmed down.

It hadn’t taken long for Grey to warm up to Garth once there was no unexpected if very nice hugs, especially as all three had sat down at the kitchen table together while Jo whined about “even though you’ve got higher regeneration than the rest of us, it doesn’t mean you won’t get an infection”, the hunter had simply looked across at him and shared an exasperated eyeroll. That the next thing out of the hunter’s mouth was to congratulate Grey himself on a beautiful house and kind girlfriend settled the matter for him, this was another hunter he would happily spend time with. Maybe with just a bit more distance, or at least warning next time.

—

The sixth and final member had actually come about through Dean.

The hunting brothers had been visiting as they had been doing on and off ever since the Gordon Situation had been handled. Grey had found it exceptionally uncomfortable to begin with, especially the heated, distrusting looks he would get constantly from the eldest brother whenever they did stop by, but Jo had almost burst into tears when the brothers had called and asked if they could drop by the first time about a month after they'd last been around that he couldn't very well say no. Not when she'd flung herself at him right after the agreement either. And so it had become a thing, where if the brothers were within two hours of the city they would pop by after their hunt to say hi. So long as Jo was home, of course.

It was on one of those nights that they were over and talking with Jo in the kitchen while Grey and his group were just kicking off their usual two or so hours of game play that the eldest Winchester had made the comment.

"Is that that weird anime shooter game? Overlord or something? We've got a friend who plays that and she's been looking for a new crew. I'll give her a call and see if she's free if you guys need another tonight." And that was how the sixth member joined them.

---

Supposedly Harry and Garth both already knew and liked the woman, and she was involved with the online hunting development with them and Jo. According to Dean she was a genius, according to Jo she was 'a lacklustre copy of Ash with a vagina' when Grey'd asked her for more that night, according to Harry she fell somewhere in between and Jo only disliked her due to being hit on the first time the women had met.

Charlie Bradbury had been a welcome edition though that first night, and the group had quickly agreed to add her into their little ragtag team.

She tended to roll D.va as her default which meshed well with everyone else, but sometimes she'd play Zarya instead when the mood stuck her which also worked well. Grey figured she was compensating for something always playing the tank role, but knew better than to question it.

That first night though, Grey had been surprised to hear the chirpy female voice through the headset as they finally all got online and in the one escort mission together. They were in charge of the escorting that time, fighting off the other party with a fair few hiccups.

Sometimes Charlie would charge forward further than she should, a level of cockiness in her taunting over the channel directed at the other team than rarely matched the level she was playing at. Sometimes, Spruce would end up accidentally completely forgetting it was a team game amidst the jeering and begin to seek out personal glory rather than working within the team. Sometimes, Grey would drop too far behind trying to regenerate his own health and by the time his character would catch back up, the party would be close to death. And sometimes Ed and Harry would have ended up pissing off one another over something or other, and refused to work together properly until screamed at by the rest of the party or one of them would conceed and apologise.

Overall though, it had been thoroughly amusing, they had finally worked out some of the kinks by their last round as it hit midnight and Jo had appeard in the doorway making a coughing noise in just her sleepwear and Grey had quickly called it a night on the group to a chorus of teasing from the rest. Overall, the computer whiz had fit in well with them all once they got a hold of their egos, and Grey knew that they’d be adding a final person to their regular line up.

***

The escort mission was going somewhat well so far, they’d made it through the second checkpoint and Grey had only have the one close encounter so far that Spruce had fixed up. They had almost reached and surpassed their opposition’s marker in the competition play they were undertaking, and as he directed his character back into the frey towards pushing, Grey could hear Charlie going off again.

“Fucking cocksucking assholes, we’re going to beat these sonofabitches back for sure.”

“Not very ladylike language there, Charls.” Ed’s voice crackled through the headset, clearly teasing as his Reinhardt pushed at the back of the payload alongside the firey redhead’s D.va and Grey’s own Mercy while Spruce’s Genji, Garth’s McCree and Harry’s Tracer zipped about them dealing out damage as they passed.

Grey could tell from the way the D.va suddenly stopped moving that the woman had taken offence. It was something that happened often enough each of the other player’s had noticed it and knew just how damaging one of her stubborn flares could be to their overall performance.

“Ed...” Spruce’s voice rumbled through the quiet, before being cut off by Garth’s friendly attempt at distraction, “Hey Charlie, we’re almost there - watch out for the Reaper comin’ up.”

The silence from their solo female player continued as did her character’s stubborn freezing on the spot as the payload’s speed slowed down having lost the third player’s additional momentum.

“Ed...” Spruce tried again, only to receive a loud feminine hiss and a whiney groan in response.

Grey found himself sighing quietly as he moved his Mercy about the screen to start healing a team member here and there, to boost the attack as Garth completed a flashbang to distract and disorientate their oppponents while they waited for Charlie to get her panties untwisted. While the girl was a very good gamer, and from what Grey had heard from Jo and Harry over the last month, he knew she was equally good at setting up secret portals for sharing the information hunters needed quickly and efficiently between themselves without needing to get too involved in understanding any of the information shred herself, she definitely had a bit of an ego and tended to snap quickly and unexpectedly if she thought she was being insulted.

The time was ticking down for them and they only had two minutes left to compelete the challenge, or at least get past their opponents marker. It was so damn close.

“Ed!” This time it was Harry’s voice, sharp and harsh as his Tracer skipped about from one side of the payload to the other, drawing fire and avoiding equally easily. “Just do it man, you know you were being a shit.”

There was a pained sounding groan as the group managed to move the payload further along and from where Grey was positioned, turning his camera he could see their D.va still just standing still left behind them in Charlie’s tantrum while the enemy players appeared to be trying to decide if they kill out the lone character or focussed on the payload objective.

The groan came again and they were slowly leaving the other behind when Grey realised what he had to do as two of the enemy players began wailing on the frozen and non-reactive D.va. He had seen Charlie let her character die and then remain at the spawn spot before, she had seen her be prepared to lose the match out of spite from one too many kitchen jokes from Spruce or a snarky comment from Ed or Harry. One time she did it after Garth had made some joke about her identifying a monster wrong and sending a hunter out with the wrong information if it ‘hadn’t been for his quick thinking’ to fix it. Grey had yet to aggrivate the woman enough before, but he was a lot more wary of upsetting someone close to the Winchester’s than the rest of them.

He had one strategy left that would allow her to survive, Ed to apologise and possibly give enough of a boost to the team they could pass their competition’s mark with or without the other’s help.

“Mother, fuck the lot of you.” Grey hissed into the headset as he set off his ultimate ability and jerked into the air above the rest of the play. He could see Charlie’s character start gaining health as he moved slightly back towards her to split the difference to the rest of the team, while their offensive characters began dealing enough damage to the surrounding enemies to push them back while Ed’s remaining pushing character continued with their objective. It took about ten seconds into the duration of his power for the hits to start coming from the opposite team, watching his own health deplete. “Harry, go for the Genji, Spruce target the Soldier, Garth the Pharah is almost dead one more shot should do it. And for fucks sake, Ed, apologise this instant!”

There was a quick movement of characters about the screen from what he could see as the three he’d pointed out began the assaults on the assigned enemies and as his powers ability came to an end of time and he dropped his character back down to help with the payload; he saw all three enemy units get taken out. His own was needing a lot of regeneration shortly, but that could wait. If they could just get Charlie back on board...

“Fine, fine.” Ed’s voice crackled, sounding tight and a little sour, before he added into the silent chat. “Look Charlie, I’m sorry. I know we’ve been ragging you a bit today so I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted.” The words sounded clipped and a little too formal, but next second the D.va was up against Ed’s Reinhardt and pushing along beside them as they crossed past the enemies original marker.

The end point was in sight as they entered the final phase of the match, but Grey could tell they wouldn’t make it without a bit more sacrifce, and sighed as he stayed in place providing the third party to push the load as much as possible even as he’d reached under 15hp left. His screen showed them getting to within 5m of the end point before he was back at the spawning point at the start and found himself sighing resigned not to see if they’d won outright or not as the time counted down.

Such was the curse of being the healer when there wasn’t enough time left for healing to matter. He never got to see if they won or not.

---

It hadn’t been intentional when he’d introduced his sister to the game. It was one of those weekend visits by her when Jo was out of town and not due back until early the next morning but it just happened to coincide with one of his game nights and Shada had looked so bored just ‘hanging out’ that Grey had told the guys he wasn’t available and grabbed the spare remote to play a few rounds showing her the game.

She hadn’t been like Jo had, taking time to pick up how the game worked, how the controller worked, how to actually target and shoot and achieve the tasks. But she’d been more excited than Jo had - tongue poking toughtlessly out one side of her lips as she focussed hard and got drawn into the game as much as he knew he did too. Jo had just looked bored and a little vindictive but not like she had been having fun; where as he could tell straight away his sister was enjoying herself getting to do something he enjoyed with him.

It had become a bit of a tradition between the two of them that they’d play a few different random games with others whenever Shada stopped by.

Grey had not been surprised when she’d gravitated to playing Sombra straight away, and had barely pressed her to try more than two others given how frequently she’d zip straight back to her main character choice each time. It wasn’t like he could judge - he rarely changed off of Mercy now unless they were doing a deathmatch, and even then he did not do well in that game type given how little time he spent playing attack characters - but it was amusing to see how excited his sister got every time he suggested they play a few rounds. He knew it was less to do with the game itself, but the reason for her excitement didn’t really matter so much as he got to get that happy grin out of her.

One time Jo had switched out for him playing alongside his sister when she’d been home for one of Shada’s spontaneous visits, and he’d almost bled from biting his lip so hard to stop the dopey grin from watching the two girls get along and laughing together.

---

Hey guys, cant make tonights session - anyone know an extra sixth to take my spot?

The message from Harry had started this nightmare. It had been about an hour before their usual time, and Grey had felt the slight deflate at the idea he would have to either play with some random or the group wouldn’t get together for the night when the doorbell had rung. Only one person rang the doorbell rather than knocking - a habit that seemingly Jo hadn’t trained the few friends and family of her’s that visited out of after they had installed the doorbell - and Grey suddenly realised maybe his night wouldn’t have to stall out.

My sisters just stopped in She plays Sombra That work for you guys?

He shot off the texts in quick succession into the Discord chat they used as he got up to answer the door. Shada looked as happy as ever, flinging herself at him for a tight hug before brushing past into the house without waiting for an invitation.

“God, why are boys so shit? I mean seriously, even the cute ones are horrible!” Shada whined, flouncing into the living room and throwing herself onto one of the arm chairs, draping her legs across one arm and her head and arms over the other. Her entrance barely registered with the other woman in the room, Jo was engrossed in her laptop in her lap and the thick leather journal on her own armrest. “I mean, I get this guy to buy me a Berkin and then he like... wants things for it? Ugh!”

“Well, that..that’s an expensive bag isn’t it?” Grey asked softly, following in and shutting the door behind him to keep the warm air of the rest of the house out and the cold airconditioned air in. Sitting on the couch, he held up his hands apologetically at the angry look he got from his sister instead. “But no you are completely right, men are gross and shit and horrible. Absolutely not worth your time.” That comment got a snort from the other chair, but flicking a look over it didn’t look like Jo had moved at all or was even listening even if she clearly was. “Hey, I know what’ll cheer you up-”

“What?” Shada’s voice perked up, the arm that had been thrown dramatically over her eyes moving so she could peer at him curiously from under it.

“I’ve got my Overwatch game with my friends tonight, but Harry wasn’t available and we’re looking for a sixth player...”

He had barely gotten to finish the words before there was the high pitched squeal of excitement and he was tackled due to her inhuman speed in the body she inhabited, arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. “Oh can I? Can I?! I haven’t gotten to play with anyone else before!” Shada was grinning from ear to ear as she squeezed his shoulder even more tightly, bouncing the couch cushions from where she was practically jumping with glee. “Can I play Sombra? Please, please, pretty please!”

Grey flicked a hand out to check his phone, seeing the several notifications agreeing to her joining - excluding Spruce’s begging if he could get his girlfriend to play instead - and nodded at her. He was lucky there was another hour before they were due to play for Shada to calm down somewhat before she was unleashed upon his friends.

They’d all played well, though it had mean Ed had been relegated to his tank character rather than playing his preferred Reaper for the escort and assault/escort missions which he had grumbled at until they’d all agreed to spend the last half of their time doing deathmatches instead. Shada had fit into the space left by Harry’s Tracer with her Sombra pretty easily, and the team had changed some of their usual strategies to accommodate the newer player without complaint.

Grey had cringed at several times throughout the night though, as Shada had hummed occasionally singing some parody song she’d heard and when he’d looked away from the screen he’d spotted Jo giggling from her own seat while Spruce and Ed both growled their dislike of “that goddamn Spears pop shit”; or as Charlie had asked thoughtfully if his sister was single at one point; or when Shada had accidentally said some offhand comment asking if Whispering the opposition would be counted as cheating or not that Grey had found himself breaking into a loud song to cover the actual question from being heard properly.

But regardless, the team had fit well - moving smoothly through objectives and challenges together, and while Charlie had had one of her little tantrums when Shada’d made a joke about her ‘butch’ choices of character and asking if it had matched the computer-geek in person or not, they had mostly worked well and won more than two-thirds of their games.

As the clock hit 1am, they had all finally called it quits, and even though Shada had annoyed some of them, all of his friends had bid her goodnight and also said she was welcome to be a swing player in the team in future should anyone ever not be available. Grey’s thought that Shada couldn’t smile any wider was proven wrong as they’d powered off the machine and he’d seen her out the front door after a drink and bit of a chat with Jo now that they’d finished their games and she had packed away her computer.

“I think I see why you keep human friends.” Shada had said softly as she stepped out into the muggy hot night time, looking up at him with a small, thoughtful smile. “They’re...so different to our brothers and sisters.”

“That they are.”

“I think I like your friends, brother.”

“I think they like you too.” Grey had replied, pulling her into a tight hug before she skipped down the stairs to head towards the empty school to disappear from in the dark of the oval, before he’d turned around to find Jo standing on the stairs smiling at him with an almost equally soft look as his sister had given him before they headed upstairs to fight Nana out of the centre of the bed.

---

Things continued like that for a while - sometimes the six of them would play, sometimes one of the others would be unavailable either due to work, hunting or personal reasons and Grey would call his sister in to join them. Sometimes they even decided to just do deathmatch free for alls so all seven of them would play at once. It had been a pretty well established routine, and Grey couldn’t help but realise as he’d get texts, calls or Discords from each of his other team members about anything and everything and not always to do with the game itself that this was what having a tight group of friends was all about.

Not only did they catch up in-game, but each of the others had stopped by the house regularly enough that Grey no longer jerked hearing the sounds of a knock or doorbell the way he had used to. It felt sort of surreal the times Garth would pop by that there was a second hunter Grey felt comfortable in his own skin around.

It was even more surreal when Charlie had flown over for Harry’s birthday held in the backyard as the summer had come to a close, and watching Jo try to be polite and friendly to the woman that commanded a bit too much attention from Jo’s almost-brother’s. The day had been going well, all of those that played with them over, as were the Winchester’s simply out of having been in the area and having buried the hatchet with Harry at least as he’d shown himself invaluable to the research side of things. Even Bobby and Jody had come up, though Grey had thought that was more out of taking the opportunity to see both brother’s and Jo in the one place, and possibly to talk over some files or books with Harry the day after too.

That day had been going so well, with the groups all blending well and even Shada had been invited along and had behaved herself for the most part of the afternoon while Jo and Garth had worked beside eachother flipping burgers, steaks and sausages for everyone laughing the whole time about something or other. Sam and Grey had both worked together to put together a few different salads, especially appreciated by Jody, Charlie and Shada, as they’d all sat down to eat stretched out along a long bench table brought out of the shed into the back garden.

Nana had ran about amongst the legs as everyone had stood and talked beforehand, and was now curled up at Bobby’s feet at the head of the table whining and barking happily every time the older hunter had dropped some food for her. The hunter himself was in a deep conversation with Spruce about the use of technology in ghost hunting and about how static noise in imaging could be used and focussed upon to find that which distorted the image.

Beside them was Harry and Ed, talking animatedly to one another, even though the bulkier of the pair - supposedly according to Harry the other had gotten really into the gym after the Ghostfacers had broken up and was now some survivalist prepper trainer or something - was splitting his time between talking to his friend and flirting with the darkhaired shadow sat next to him. Shada had made a crack about, “maybe I should be even more annoying” when she’d first been introduced in person to the other, and had given barely a cursory look at the other four members of their little gaming group she hadn’t met in passing before focussing almost all her attention on the ex-Ghostfacer so far that day.

Sam had actually sat down next to the shadow without any kind of reaction, as Jody had taken the other headplace and Garth across from Sam, from what Grey could tell in his space beside Jo across from Shada, he could tell they were talking about some job or other that Garth had finished off the night before. He was somewhat more focussed on giving his sister disapproving shakes of the head whenever he managed to catch her eye, but figured that there was no harm in it. Jo was on his other side, right in the centre of the table where she could get up and down easily to keep running about to fetch drinks or more food for everyone as the serving plates emptied.

Beside her was Dean and then Charlie between him and Bobby’s position, and Grey could tell there was something going on from the way Jo was spending more and more time getting up and down for things for everyone else than eating the food that he could tell was the same that had been put on her plate when they’d all first sat down. Looking down at the plate as Jo got up for the third time in five minutes, he found himself frowning as he realised she’d not even touched any of it, completely against normal for her.

Tilting his head and shifting slightly into her vacated seat, Grey had found himself glaring daggers for the first time ever at the elder of the hunting brother’s when he overheard him dubbing the redhead woman beside him “the sister he never had” a little too loudly from a few too many beers as Jo had rounded the table behind him. Out of his peripheral, he could see the way she bit her lip and leant between Dean and Charlie to set down another beer for the Winchester brother who gave her an uninterested “thanks Jo” before continuing to joke to the smiling, unaware woman beside him.

Clenching his fists as he watched Jo spin on her heel and hurry back up the back steps into the kitchen, he didn’t even notice the way Sam seemed to pause in his own conversation looking between the slammed kitchen door, his brother and then his own stony look before getting up and following the blonde into the house. He didn’t notice his sister suddenly looking at him curiously, head tilted as she tried to work something out before returning a half hearted comment to Ed beside her who was talking about some survivial training camp he was running next month, eyes focussed on him as he moved. Grey did notice however his own movement getting to his feet and shoving his seat back harshly before he stepped over to place a firm, little more pressure than his body should be able to produce, hand onto Dean’s shoulder.

“Hey, what’sup Grey?” Dean looked up at him, his attention finally jerked from the conversation about the Hobbit movie adaptations he’d been having with Charlie since they’d sat down for lunch, a slight frown at the extra pressure before it got deeper at the look Grey was sure was on his face. His next words were a bit sharper, voice dropped an octave into a more threatening tone even as those around didn’t quite understand what was going on. “What do you need?”

“We need to talk. Come on.” Grey gritted the words out, fingers digging into the other’s shirt and jerking him to his feet as the hunter stumbled up after him with a shake of the arm and a snarl. So much for a nice afternoon, but he refused to have this conversation in front of the crowd or to ruin Harry’s day with this issue. Jerking his head towards the side of the house, the shadow moved without looking behind him around the end of the table not looking to see the approving look he was getting from the wisened old hunter at the end, completely focussed upon keeping from snapping that Dean had to leave immediately and causing a scene.

He could hear Dean behind him, and taking five faster steps before he spun to confront the other, he had himself mostly under control until he saw the way Dean’s hand was twitching towards his back. “You aren’t going to need that knife, Dean. We just need to have a chat without causing a scene.” Grey snarled the words out, arms crossing across his chest as he stared down the taller man.

“Oh you mean like the scene you started out there?” Dean’s voice was sarcastic as he made no move to return his hands to his side, but also made no move to remove the knife itself as he seemed to be seizing Grey up in return.

“Trust me, if I wanted to cause a scene out there, I would have.” He snapped back in return, grinding one heel into the gravel from the utility space they were stood in. It was as good a place as any. Grey would have taken the hunter inside for the conversation, but Jo was in there and he trusted that Sam would be able to handle that half of the issue. His eyes flashed as he saw the hunter shift as if about to head back to the group and ignore the shadow; growling out the words he had heard from the other, dripping the words with acidic intent. “The sister you never had...”

Dean paused at that, eyes widening a little at hearing the words he’d just let out without a thought, before looking back at Grey. Grey could tell his mind was whirling over what that meant or what the point that the shadow was trying to make to him; and from the blank, unknowing look that covered the hunter’s face he figured the other had not worked out the significance yet.

“You told Charlie she was the sister you never had.”

“So?”

“You told Charlie that she was the sister you never had in front of Jo, you complete asshole.” Grey almost bit his tongue as he snarled the words out, hands clenched into tight fists where he had them against his ribcage as he stared down the hunter. Daring him to deny what he’d said, or deny that it would have meant anything.

Dean appeared to finally get it, eyes widening such that the bright green was fully visible as he appeared to look between the shadow and then the edge of the house back to the yard trying to make up his mind. “Oh shit, fuck, I didn’t..”

“Oh but you did. You fucking well did, Dean. And I won’t stand for you being rude and insensitive to Jo like that.”

“I wasn’t- I wasn’t saying anything about Jo-”

“You fucking know what you said, and how Jo, of all people, would take that comment.” Grey growled back at the hunter’s stammered and awkward denouncing, ripping his arms apart and sticking his fists into his pockets to refrain from throwing the hunter up against the wall and showing him just how much he wouldn’t approve of Dean hurting his Jo yet again. “I get that you might not have thought before you said it, but you’ve barely said six words to Jo all afternoon. You’ve barely even looked at her, and I know you are still not comfortable with me and her, but I won’t allow you to take that out on her any more.”

“That’s not true!” Dean spluttered in response, his hand withdrawing from going for his back but each hand clenched into corresponding fists as he glared across at Grey in return. “I have not been ignoring her-”

“Don’t try to deny it. I’ve seen it all day. I know she’s been smiling and happy, and her and Garth get along like a house on fire and Jody has been taking up a lot of her time; but you, Dean Winchester, have not even looked at her once. You didn’t even hug her hello.”

The brash bluff in the other appeared to deflate at that as the taller man seemed to realise there was some truth to what Grey was accusing him of, fists relaxing and running a hand across his hair as he looked back towards the corner of the building. “I..”

“Didn’t mean to, I’m aware. I’m sure even Jo is aware, but you have been disrespecting her all day and I will not stand for it.” Grey moved closer as he spoke until he was right up in the other’s space, glaring harshly up at him and trying to keep himself from getting even angrier as he thought it over. It was the first time he’d reacted like this around the other, and there was a small flare of pleasure when the hunter stumbled a step back and appeared to shrink a little under his stare. That was enough for now, enough of a recognition of understanding and conceeding to his point. “Now, you and I are going to go back to the table and continue like nothing happened here. And when your brother and Jo come outside again, you are going to apologise to her. Properly apologise. And I’ll let you know if I think it is acceptable, okay?”

He didn’t wait for the hunter to respond, just pushed past the other unnecessarially to go back to his seat and ask Garth about the hunt he and Sam had been talking about as if nothing had happened. Grey had noticed the curious looks from the three Ghostfacers, as well as the slight frown from Charlie when Dean rounded the corner but moved to stand on the small landing outside the back kitchen door rather than rejoining them at the table. If he hadn’t known better, Grey would have thought he was getting an approving look from the older hunters on either end of the table, but that was sure to just be wishful thinking on his end.

When Sam and Jo had emerged with two bowls of potato and pasta salad from inside, her face looking a little pinker than usual as if she’d been scrubbing at her eyes and cheeks, Dean laywaid them and piled both bowls on his brother before grabbing Jo’s arm and turning her back around to go back inside.

Sam slid into his spot beside Shada as he plopped both bowls down onto the table and wrapped a friendly arm around the shadow-girl’s shoulder as he leaned towards Grey across from her. “Hey, did you get your side sorted?”

“Yeah, all taken care of. Yours?”

“Should be okay when they get back out.” Sam’s tone was soft and gentle, and Grey definitely knew that he had a friend in the giant as they shared a knowing smile before starting their own meals again.

Grey wouldn’t be sure would be all okay until Jo returned and actually ate something, but it felt nice to have yet another friend to support him in the form of the youngest Winchester.

---

Three months later, something strange was happening.

They had all logged on as usual, and the chatter over the headsets was much as usual when they were missing Spruce for a round. That is to say, Shada was trying to flirt with Ed, Ed and Harry were babbling about their trip to Comic Con later in the year, and Charlie was trying to organise to meet up with them if their work schedules all happened to match up. The only unusual thing was that Garth had not spoken one word, nor had he done his typical greeting to the group as a whole even once - Grey was kind of missing the friendly twang when the hunter would sign of with a “Hey guys, ready to get these suckers Garthed”. Instead, he’d signed in and was silent.

“Hey so we’re doing assault/escort right?” Grey asked quietly at a lull in the conversation, fingers twitching on his controller as he considered whether to have a drink and wait it out or press the issue as he heard his sister’s giggle through both the headset and from her spot on the couch beside him. Looking out the side of his eye, he could see her twisting a section of her hair - one of those bright purple strands she’d started getting done - around a finger than made him groan. “Please, please guys can we get on with playing. We all good?”

There was a ding and in the corner of the screen, he saw Garth’s first message to the group pop up from the Discord channel - Ready when you are - which seemed so un-Garth.

What seemed even less Garth was as the group finally agreed and started the screen to select their roles that MrFizzles2000 selected Solider 76 immediately without any discussion before any of the other’s could pick their own characters.

“Garth, what the fuck man?” Ed’s voice sounded tinny in the headphones, but definitely reflected what everyone else must have been thinking at that choice. Not once had the hunter picked anyone but McCree or Ashe, not even once. “Since when you play Solider?”

Just shut up and lets play.

That was somehow even less Garth than the rest of it, and the group as a whole continued to fire questions out as they picked their characters. At least he’d chosen another offense heavy damage character so Harry could take the lead-tank role alongside Charlie rather than Ed for the first round as the coin flip had determined. Ed had shouted happily at that, selecting Reaper which would match up well alongside Harry’s Winston, Charlie’s Zarya, Shada’s Sombra and Garth’s inexplicable Soldier 76. Grey was, as always unless he was trying out Moira, Mercy and was actually secretly pleased for another healing person on the team for once.

The first round had somehow been a cake walk for them. Garth was insanely good at the new choice of character, and Grey had found himself suddenly getting a heal boost without having to run out of combat without even asking when Garth’s character would swing past. Charlie and Harry had worked in unison well to take the damage for the rest as they rushed their way to the payload, and even Shada’s almost constant singling couldn’t stop the jovial feeling that was spreading between the group as they wiped the floor with their opponents.

“Jesus, Garth, you need to play that one more often!” Harry cried out happily as they completed the mission quicker than they had before; and there was a sharp whistle of appreciation through the call as they all watched the five-head shot kills Play of The Game from the hunter that had decimated their opponents at just the right time. “Good going man!”

Thanks guys

It was such a small message and did ring true of the hunter’s modesty, so didn’t seem too out of place. But Grey couldn’t shake the feeling something was going on while he drank a sip of his water and chewed on a mouthful of M&Ms while they waited for the next round to load.

As they’d moved across Junkertown for the next assault, and Grey spotted the waning moon in the animated sky, he suddenly realised what it was. Letting out a laugh through the chat out of no where and getting a strange look from Shada as she had her character zipping about, humming that infuriating Britney Spears song under her breath while taking out three enemies at once with one of her EMP blasts, Grey shook his head at her.

He waited for just the right moment to do it, when he knew he’d get an automatic response from the hunter as his character was getting pinned by three enemies to avoid him getting to resurrect Charlie’s D.va as the fought to push back the opposing team from pushing their payload any further. “Ah shit, I need help up here.”

“On my way, hun.” The voice came over the call immediately before the Soldier appeared and drew the fire from the opponents for Grey to extract himself back to their teammate.

“Who the fuck is that?!” Ed and Harry both shouted in unison as they double teamed taking out the three tanks their opposition had chosen to use for the payload push, while Grey used resurrect on the D.va. “Who was that?”

“I thought you guys always wanted me to play.” The voice came again, honeyed sweet and Grey could imagine the smirk on her face as clear as day from where she was. He had only just remembered it was a full moon that night, and Jo always went to help Garth during those times, keeping him under lock, key and a watchfulish eye. It was the first one, full moon that was, that they’d all been around enough to play for; and clearly Garth hadn’t wanted them to cancel with two players out.

The choice in character made so much sense, and as he saw his health boosting again as Jo directed her character past him, Grey found himself smiling fondly as he realised just how lucky he was to have the life he had now as he moved into place to support his friends again.

---

[spaciousbachelorparty]

A vital update.

After a lack of blog posting, my original idea was to preferably release a blog post once my final idealisation for my bathhouse was completed. As I have run into a few trip ups and believe my ideal time frame may be compromised, I figured it was un realistic to keep putting off any updates for my lecturers to see. This blog post will give an understanding for everything I have been doing since the Semester break and last blog post.

A week before the semester break is when I presented my idea to Xavier, I was glad to see that my idea was easily spoken with Xavier seeming to understand exactly what the overall feeling of creating a sacred almost angelic space is supposed to convey. An extremely personal space those go to in order to better their mind, soul and wellbeing through a varying range of physical therapy that requires you to stay in control of your mind. 

The most valid point I took away from my presentation that Xavier raised is that in the current model I’ve made, Everything is in an open space environment with an awful lot of cluster. The space does not allow you to move freely with a layout that looked more like a night market than a interpersonal environment. We continued to speak about it and I realised I was simply being far too ambitious with the amount of activities to complete within the bath house. 

 The biggest points I took away is that there is an extreme lack of a personal touch. I began to see how little my layout truly lives up to it’s purpose, the second point being that I should refine the amount of activities I’m offering and simply have 3-4 that are much more personal and result in a much cleaner layout. At this point I felt an extreme halt in how to move forward.

During our discussion once Uni had returned online, we were discussing ways I could move forward going back and forward with ideas. I was showing Xavier a photo that captured exactly how I wanted my bath house to feel, it was a bath surrounded by two types of brick and rock, I loved the underlying tones of the blatant contrast of having a beautiful porcelain white bath surrounded by ‘dirty’ materials that look as though they’re on the verge of decay. I’ve been trying to understand why I love this contrast in particular so much and have concluded my reasoning. It reminds me almost as though there was a ancient bath house that once was used 1000s of years ago, with a variety of contemporary furniture and technology installed that nods it’s head at the past use of the environment. I knew I loved this but couldn’t vocalise the rough almost dirty style with a contrast, So I continued to research and find out more about this original image. When I found the Williamsburg Bathhouse located in Manhattan New York, I felt as though I was looking at my dream idea being brought to life. I immediately found many similarities, it coveys itself in an extremely angelic sense creating an environment that is ultimately shared yet has personal spaces only suitable to house 1 at a time. I could see a very slight hint of Turkish heritage. 

A key point pointed out by Xavier is the use of lighting used to add to the underlying sense of an angelic space. Within the photo from the Williamsburg bathhouse, there was a circular skylight bringing in lighting overhead pouring in on the user and it’s surrounding. We both agreed that this use of lighting boosted the overall feeling of the space entirely. I realised at this stage how greatly lighting would convey my overall meaning to the space. I researched deeper into my artist model and found my answer for a question I had asked myself a long time ago. I originally had the idea of pairing certain design with the idea of my activities revolving around exposing your body to either extremely hot & cold temperatures. I originally pulled this off by making those spaces with colder connotations to be designed with much sharper and adjacent angles and for the warm spaces to be designed with smooth curves that reflect the nature of exposing yourself to these conditions. I noticed the shared spaces such as sauna and pool were using lighting to achieve this with a much cleaner outcome. I will be adapting this and use red and purple neon strips to provide a rich undertone to specific spaces. In terms of personal spaces only housing one or two people, natural lighting will fill these places but with a limitation, as I want my final outcome to look almost under-lit but just enough lighting. Along with this if the natural light is far too overpowering I believe it will affect the atmosphere of the entire basement. A feeling almost as though it’s a secret place that has to remain dimly lit to remain hidden yet provide an ambience. 

In terms of an actual re design and progression I started by removing every aspect apart from my bath house apart from my sauna. As this is a shared space and I do already enjoy the design present as it fit’s well in the space but will need to review it. 

I began basic sketches of my concept from a floor plan to drawing some perspectives. I had re organised my ideas into a cleaner format leaving a Sauna, sensory tank, cryotherapy  and a pool concept that combines an ice bath with a normal temperature pool. I found through these drawings that there simply wouldn’t be enough space for me to create these intimate spaces for the ‘private’ activities such as cryotherapy and sensory deprivation tanks. I then came up with a design that would leave the space flowing in a nice walking manner but have a private space. I’ve decided I’ll make the sensory deprivation tanks in an isolated room underneath the bath house. Construction on this can be seen in rhino modelling I’ve begun creating the space outside of the bathhouse to later install. The other private space has been installed at the end of the bathhouse for cryotherapy. I was troubled trying to think on how I could possibly design a wall to create a private space. Upon first research relating back to Turkish heritage I was going to place two wall dividers similar to the one added for each room. When it came to embedding a pattern into these pieces, Rhino crashed multiple times and couldn’t handle it. Along with this I began to loose interest in this design as I found it looked quite messy and didn’t suit the overall them. I have instead installed two ‘brick’ walls that have been carved out to create an entry. I believe when it comes to rendering I will give the wall a look as though it has been plastered on had concrete poured over it with an underlying brick showing scarcely underneath. Though still in the brainstorming stage.

Moving forward I will be focusing on finishing my complete model within Rhino of my space, then moving towards rendering and focusing on light installation. I have attached a new list of materials I believe will highlight within my bath house.

I apologise to lecturers about my lack of blog posting and hoped to include everything updated from my last post to today within this. 

[elliepensom]

MD4316 - Final Assessment Performances

As we had already chosen our group prior to the assessment rehearsals beginning, it meant we were more prepared and had an advantage over our time limit. In the first rehearsal, we looked at the lyrics that Anya and Rose had collaboratively written. This meant me and Josh could really get a feel for both of the songs and start figuring out a structure and instrumentation.

4 years:

After looking at the lyrics to 4 years, it was clear to us all that a ballad style song in a minor key would suit what was written.

The total time we spent piecing this song together amounted to 2 full rehearsal sessions. We felt that although the writing process was quick, the song had really come together and from that point it was just a case of refining and practicing all of our parts until the day of the performance.

Lyrically the only thing that really changed in rehearsal was the ending verse (Outro). When reading the lyrics you can see the emotional journey that takes place. We wanted to bring this journey to a nice ending which contrasted the rest of the song, so we felt it had to be something more positive and hope inspiring.

Lyrics:

Instrumental roles:

Anya - Vocals & lyricist

Ellie - Violin & composer

Josh - Piano & composer

Rose - Vocals & lyricist

Anya suggested that a slower, expressive violin part would really suit this ballad style. I came up with the violin part by firstly just listening the song. I felt that with a ballad, harmonies can be a powerful way to emphasise different sections and compliment the vocals. By listening to Rose and Anya's vocal lines in the pre-chorus and chorus, I was able to find a subtle mid range harmony which worked well in thickening the vocal texture and didn't take over or drown out any of the lyrics.

After figuring out these parts, it created a natural dynamic build up which led really nicely into the solo section. Myself and Josh wanted this section to build up even more and have a main violin solo as well as a piano solo. The idea for a key change came about as we just wanted to make the piece more interesting for the listener.

The feedback we recieved in our rehearsal sessions made us overall feel really confident about performing this for the assessment. The only thing that concerned us about the song was that it sounded very theatrical, something you would hear in a west-end show. Although that isn't a bad thing, it wasn't what we had intended and we sought out a few different ways to counteract that feeling. One thing that made a huge difference was by cutting down the length of the solo section. Cutting the instrumental down meant that we prevented the piece from having that really dramatic build up which features in a lot of theatre pieces. It also reduced the time Rose and Anya had to wait for the outro verse and overall meant we had more time when performing to communicate with the audience and set up for our next song.

Chords:

Awkward Encounter:

Like our first song, the rehearsal process for this went just as quick. Rose and Anya both had the lyrics all done before we had even finished reahearsals on four years! Again this helped in saving a lot of time as we could really focus on creating and refining our other parts whilst we had these sessions altogether.

Lyrics:

Instrumental Roles:

Anya - Vocals, drums & lyricist

Ellie - Violin & composer

Josh - Piano & composer

Rose - Vocals & lyricist

We wanted to make this track sound completley different to our other one. After reading the lyrics, we felt that a more soulful sound would fit. We looked at artists like Amy Winehouse and Alicia Keys and focused on the main instrumentation in most of their songs.

Like in Winehouse's 'Back to Black', we felt that a hard hitting, staccato, piano intro would really suit what we had written and contribute really well to our song plan.

Rehearsal audio:

Once we had the basic piano rhythm and structure down it was time to focus on the other instrumental parts.

As you can hear in the first audio clip, I originally thought about trying out some chord stabs on my violin as a way to tie-in and follow Josh's piano part. When hearing this back however, I didn't like the way it sounded. Sometimes there are timing delays between the keys and the violin as well as the general string scratches which come with the stabbing technique.

After hearing what we had got back, I felt like the song needed a full band set with some brass, bass and guitar. However, the performance date was drawing closer and seeing how busy everyone was in their own bands, we didn't want to hinder anyone by asking them to session on this track. This is when it was put forward, for me to play the bass for this song instead.

After some though about this concept, I thought that the violin would make this piece a little more original, as its generally not a common solo instrument within soul music. I also realised that Josh was also playing a bass part in his left hand on the piano. I felt that if I did play the bass, it wouldn't add anything to the song and would just be drowned out by Josh's part and the drums. I also had fears the song would be too bass heavy.

After playing it through with the violin we all agreed that some solo lines after the chorus could sound really good against the drum and piano parts.

Getting Anya on the drums was also another great decision for this song. It also put us a little closer to having that full band set-up, we thought would suit this song.

Again when playing through the whole piece, we felt that by keeping a thinner texture of only piano and vocals in the verse compared to all of us coming in on the chorus would allow us to build up the song really nicely and help Anya focus solely on singing in the verse and drums in the chorus. Keeping the piece fairly minimal in the verse sections also meant it would be more of a surprise when the violin and drums cut in.

Chords:

Final Performance Video:

Looking back through everything we had done for this assessment, as a group we worked very well together. Outside of rehearsals and lectures we managed to have frequent communication about what needed to be practiced, written and booked out. We tried taking rehearsal room bookings in turns, although sometimes there were issues with the actual booking site for some people. However, because of our communication we always managed to solve issues really easily.

Although we had talked about the ways we could perform both pieces, it wasn't until the soundcheck the day before everything really came together.

Similar to our self analysis task in our music and meaning lecture, we looked at our songs, heard the messages and moods they were portraying, then from this, planned how our performances for each song was going to go. We had planned where all our positins would be and where any props that we would need use would go so we had easy access to them.

For 4 years we really wanted to play on the theatrical/moody feel the song has. As I have found out from previous performances, sitting down when you play creates an entirely different atmosphere for the audience compared to when you stand. The decision to use bar stools/higher set chairs we felt played into this mood really well. Going from the stools in 4 years to standing in awkward encounter meant there had to be a change in the way we decided to perform. As awkward encounter is a high energy song, using the chairs would create the wrong atmosphere for the song, hence why we decided to stand up and get people dancing. This is the contrast we wanted to create between our songs. We wanted our audience to feel more emotional and solemn after listening to 4 years, then they could be hit by the energy and upbeat feel of Awkward encounter.

After our rehearsal process was so successful, I had set myself really high standards for this performance. Straight after the performance I wasn't very proud of how well I played as I know I can do better. Whether it was just down to tiredness or nerves, in my playing there are a fair few mistakes and places where my overall technique falters. I feel that for me this could just be a one-off instance and during my next performance I will really try to concentrate more on my technique. Watching our performance back, I feel like it wasn't the best run through we had done, but as a group we still played together pretty well.

Over this past semester I feel I have learnt a lot more about using imagery within songwriting and also lyric writing as part of a group.

[archieviscom]

evaluation

I got off to bit of a rocky start with project. I don’t want to make excuses but I had a delayed start due to unfortunately having Covid and then later passing it on to other family members and then in turn, having to look after them as they were affected heavier than I was. However, once all of that was out of the way, I feel I was able to get my head dowwn and use my time wisely. I think the pressure of having lost that time worked in my favour, it helped me remain focussed and work efficiently. 

Switching briefs wasn’t ideal, although, I am so glad I did, this could have been avoided if I had taken just a bit more time at the start to really evaluate my options. I feel a more solid plan at the beginning would have helped me realise that the Audible brief wasn’t the one for me. Something I will practice moving forward. 

I think the research side of things started well with the Audible brief, something I knew I needed to improve on was this side of things. More could have been done though. When it came to researching for the Key4Life brief, I was already quite behind and I feel I rushed through the early phases of the project. I had the idea of creating a typeface and moved a little too quickly to getting that done and I should have stopped, evaluated things, planned my research and work out prior to getting the ball rolling on the design side of things. That being said, the research I did do for this project helped massively. 

I could have done with more research of similar campaigns in this sort of genre. I did look through previous D&AD submissions and winners and this was incredibly useful, I particularly liked the ‘Ban Drill, Ban Dreaming’ a D&AD winning submission created by Imran Khan and Nikita Iziev. This proved to be a big influence on my design ideas and general aesthetic. It had a great sort of ‘urban’ feel, something I feel that this brief needed too. 

It was said that everything I had for this project was a bit dark, I would agree with this but also say that it works well for the subject. Knife crime is a dark, sensitive subject and I think what I produced for this brief reflects that and fits the subject. 

The typeface was my favourite part of this project, ever since I went to the sign up workshop with Ben for Glyphs. I have beenhooked to it. It’s something that I really want to focus on moving forward. Creating a typeface within the time frame was extremely ambitious but I did however surprise myself with how quickly I was able to turn it into something. I enjoyed this part greatly. The typeface is by far a finished product, corners were cut due to the time frame so it is certainly not perfect. I will work on it when I can as I would love to get it fully finished and polished up and just improve my skills within this area. 

The one thing I am not 100% pleased with on this project is the execution on the underpass element. I have always struggled getting things like that to look good and natural. I think in general, getting these sort of mock ups looking realistic is quite tricky. The perspective side of things I really struggled with and something that I really need to work on moving forward. I think as a proof of concept it works well but it could have just been a bit more polished and to a higher standard. I think if I do this again in the future, I will need to really work on my skills in that area. 

With this project, I needed to take my own photographs of the underpass. I obviously couldn’t go into uni and hire out a camera so I had to use my phone and the results weren’t as great as they could have been. I think if I have had some better quality images, it would have made that element of the final outcomes a bit easier to work with (especially the night time images). I would like to try more photography in future projects and gain some knowledge and skills in this area. 

I think my designs went through quite a few changes. The billboard for example. The final outcome is very different to what I had originally planned. The instagram story also went through quite a few changes. This happened somewhat naturally as I progressed through and saw new bits of inspiration, and the tutorials helped to shape the outcomes but I think, as mentioned previously, if I had a more solid, thought-out plan from the off and conducted a bit more research at the start, I wouldn’t have needed to make so many changes and would have had more direction. 

As mentioned previously, creating the typeface was my favourite part of this brief and gaining a slightly bigger understanding of this and how to use the software and everything that goes with that was great. I just need to remember it all and not stop practicing as it is something I would like to pursue. 

I said from the beginning of the year that I wanted to improve my skills with After Effects. When I used it for the last project of first year, I really struggled with it. I now have a greater (yet still very small) understanding of it. I want to use and develop these skills further moving forward. 

Overall, I am really pleased with the typeface and I am very please with the billboard and furthering my skills with Glyphs has been great. It’s just the underpass for me that could have been better. I think with some better images and more knowledge and skill from me, it could have turned out really well. As said previously, I am pleased with it but just not to same level as I am with the other elements of the brief.