#this is one of those shows I cannot in all honesty claim to be amazing. but it's fun and makes my brain sizzle

[muninnhuginn]

Love the steady recontextualisation that takes place in Flower of Evil. At first you think Ji-won's trust in Hyun-soo is because she's perhaps naïve or is in denial and just wants to believe in him. The circumstantial evidence consistently mounts against Hyun-soo, but she still seems to believe him innocent to the point of stubbornness.

But as you see more of their history, you start to realise that he has in no way "fooled" her. Every instance of him "faking" being the family man is actually just... him learning the relevant social cues because he wants his family to like him. And he may wrap it all up in justifications that he needs her as camouflage but, the fact remains, as someone living under an assumed identity? He did not have to marry a cop. He chose to do that. So it follows that all his practising smiling, his observation notebooks, they’re him making an effort to bridge the gap and learn to show the affection he wants to be in the relationship, despite him not realising himself that his feelings are genuine.

But Ji-won liked him long before he had learned these cues. Back when to the surface observer he was off-putting and abrasive, she saw the kindness in his actions rather than in his expressions and his distancing. She liked him for him. And yeah, she appreciates him making the effort, but that wasn't why she fell for him.

When it comes to their relationship, she’s not the unreliable narrator here; he is.

[fernweh-writes]

I'm sorry this one might be a bit weird lol

Slashers with a s/o who loves fish like she has a ton of tanks at her house that she takes care of and sometimes could watch them swim for hours

You're writing is amazing! Thank you for always taking my request you do such a perfect job!

I love your requests and they are always very welcome. Also I love fishies and I’m a huge animal person so this is right up my ally!

-Fern🌿

Slashers x Fish Keeper

Michael Myers

He would find about your fish keeping hobby whilst stalking you.

At first he thinks it’s weird in all honesty. Michael doesn’t understand why you have so many fish and would believe it was just a waste of time and money.

That is until he realizes that he’s gotten so lost in watching your fish swim around their tanks that he had lost track of you. He’s an expert stalker s he then realizes that maybe it ins’t dumb.

Then he begins questioning how you ever get anything done on time with so many mesmerizing fish just floating around.

Michael is also very curious and would enjoy you rambling on about your different fish. Would even listen to you talk about pH, salinity, all the aspects of the water as well. He just thinks it’s neat.

Bo Sinclair

Bo would tease you about having so many fish. “Are you trying to make friends out of fish since you can’t seem to befriend people?”

Pretends he wasn’t staring mindlessly at the fish swimming about anytime you catch him. If there’s a tank in the living room, although you probably convince him to have multiple, you can often find him staring at the fish rather than whatever is on TV.

You may also notice that Bo is a lot calmer, there isn’t as many angry outbursts from him as they used to be. Apparently fish can manage to calm down even the angriest person in Ambrose.

Tries to give the fish dumb names. It’s on the same level as his terrible dad jokes honestly. Don’t ask him his opinion because even if you give the fish a different name he is still going to call it by the name he came up with.

Vincent Sinclair

Unlike Bo, Vincent can come up with much better names. They’re all very artsy and sophisticated.

Vincent would also like if you set up a tank just for him. Like put all his favorite fishies in there. He’ll stare at it for hours and allows for him to just zone out. I think he would appreciate it very much.

Usually, taking care of the tanks is something you have to do all on your own since Vincent stays pretty busy. However, whenever he gets the chance he’s more than happy to help you out. Knows how heavy all those tanks can be and he doesn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Finds your fish keeping hobby very cute. All your fishies are like your shared children. He makes sure to feed them whenever you’re not around. Would also replace a fish that has died before you notice if he can. However, he soon realizes you recognize your fish way better than he thought…

Brahms Heelshire

He doesn’t like animals and is very much against the fish at first. Brahms had planned on sitting and angrily staring at it until he ended up simply just staring at it. Wow, that fishy is indeed swimming.

Brahms eventually begins to want to feed the fish. He’s dramatic and would probably even add it to the daily schedule. May even feed the fish multiple times and just hope you don’t catch him.

He wouldn’t allow you to have to many tanks though. That would interfere with the amount of time you focus on him after all and he simply cannot have that.

Wants to name the fish and expects you to allow him to give it whatever dumb or dramatic name that he wants. Goes for some old fancy book inspired name. If the fish dies and you two get a new one it’s the same name just with the second, third, and so on added on to the end. You cannot change the name.

Billy Loomis

You’re obsessed with fish, he’s obsessed with murder, everyone has their fun little quirks right?

Thinks that your fish keeping hobby is kind of nerdy but still cute. He likes listening to you ramble about different kinds of fish and how to take care of them. Expects you to listen to him ramble about horror movies in return.

Horror inspired fish names? Absolutely! The crown tail beta? His name is Freddy. Goldfish? A classic, his name is Michael. Would probably even name one after himself.

Won’t help much with tank upkeep. But if he sees you struggling to lift something heavy obviously he has to use it as an opportunity to show off and swoops in to help. We get it Billy, you’re big and strong.

Stu Macher

Absolutely loves helping you with your fish keeping hobby! Especially loves helping you pick out fish. Oh, this one’s o expensive? No it’s not because he’s aging for it.

If he buys the fish he has come up with the rule that he gets to name it. This means you have a handful of rare and beautiful fish with dumb ass names.

Stu likes to just sit and watch the fish swim around with you. It gives him the perfect excuse to just cling to you while the two fo you do nothing and he enjoys it a lot.

You have more than one fish that he has started to call jr because they are his favorites so he claims them as his sons. He doesn’t care, to him all the fish are boys so.

Jesse Cromeans

Funds your fish keeping hobby and is more than okay with having tanks all over the house, whatever makes you happy. Besides, you spend more time in the house than him, you deserve something to keep you entertained.

Please talk to him about all of your different fish. He’s amazed by the fact you have so much mesmerized about all of these different fish and how to take care of them. He just thinks it’s very dorky and cute.

Just picture him sitting on the living room couch with you, working on a laptop. He looks up to find you staring at a tank and ends up getting lost as well. Just two idiots sitting on a couch staring at fish. Forgets all about his work.

Your fish are spoiled just like you. They come from the best stores, have the best supplies, and consume only the highest quality of fish food.

Asa Emory

Absolutely gets your fish keeping hobby. After all he’s obsessed with bugs and people and has a collection himself. Asa respects the hobby and finds your love for fish endearing.

Knows that it can be a lot of work to keep up with so many tanks so he will help you but reluctantly. Complains the whole time about how you shouldn’t have gotten in over your head even though he encourages you to get more fish.

Asa thinks naming your fish is stupid. After all, you have so many how do you keep up with them all. There’s no point y/n, all of them in that tank look almost identical, identity theft isn’t a joke.

Asa isn’t ashamed of staring at the fish. If you tease him about it, he’ll go on a big rant about how it’s good for you and what not. Just admit staring at the fish is fun Asa, it’s not that hard.

[nerdsideofthemedia]

I've come to terms with bb but I still want to know when it was decided to be endgame. I don't buy the "planned from the start" thing since everything in show points to the exact opposite. Maybe the volume commentary after the fact will finally put the matter to rest...or muddle things up further lol. given the likely possibility of them lying ) if it was planned from the start there should have been hints from the start they shouldnt have began hinting at bb halfway into the series ( and attempting to use bb being a same sex ship as a shield and claiming anyone who didnt see evidence just didnt see it because it was a w/w ship makes me roll my eyes "I recognize that BB is likely to become a canon ship. But given that it's a stupid-ass canon ship, I've elected to ignore it."

Have you ever gotten around to reading from start to finish the one giant post dedicated to you that goes into length about your harassment and it is now linked to in all my rwby post in the wordpress blogs, @megashadowdragon (yes, I am almost certain that is your actual real account even if my evidence is circumstancial)? Should I put a link to your tumblr profile too?

You've claimed to be in your late 20s, how the fuck can you be that old and still think it's acceptable to harass someone over a ship? and for months, no less. The only time you left me alone is when I had cut all means to do so. I shouldn’t have to do that. Have you been checking on my account every week for the last month to see when you could strike again? Get the fuck over it. BS sunk for good in early V6 (yes, the Renora/BB parallels are very clearly intentional and no, they didn’t change their minds mid-volume – that would have been likely impossible). V9 is starting in a couple of months.

If the writers told you every single hint they had to reveal BB, you would not believe them, so don’t bother feigning curiosity and pretending you’re open-minded. A person who thinks Adam attacked Yang and associated the word love without any planning on the writers' part is someone who could not care less about what the writers were trying to convey. A person who sees Yang getting associated with the ex and Sun getting associated with the unrequited love doesn’t think it says anything about story is naïve at best. And a person who keeps sending me to a goddamn post (that I’ve even quoted verbatim in one of my posts) that says “Like seriously if I was writing two characters that were only meant to be platonic, I would never write a scene like that. The implication of those words are too strong.” but tries to pretend this only applies to Renora and not BB is a deeply homophobic one. I have yet to understand how the hell you fail to see that that post makes actually a massive amazing argument for BB being planned from very early on. 

Nothing can be applied to Renora without applying to BB too. 

It wasn’t just the Renora scenes that were written by writers, the BB scenes also were, including the flirting and wink, the ship named Pride, the ex attacking and using the word love, yet classmate for Sun, Yang paralleling Pyrrha when they both helped the object of their affection in the dance arc, the Arkos/BB parallels in V3, etc. The writers decide everything. If they wanted Sun to fight the ex and not be associated with unrequited love, that would have happened. Don’t bother pointing Adam didn’t fight Sun when they were alone, that’s why he used the word classmate because the fight could have happened any way the writers wanted it to happen. If they wanted those 2 to fight (or with Blake) and use the word love, they would have.

The writers decide everything. If they wanted to associate Sun with the ex instead of the unrequited love or if they wanted to associate him with the word love instead of classmate, they would have. 

Instead of writing a post responding to all your nonsense for the 124539th time, 

let’s decide what to do with you. 

I’m guessing reporting you to tumblr is worthless because you harassed me using several accounts that no longer exist (mysteriouslypaleenthusiast, reallydelicateturtle, red2sposts, ravenstarsblog, violetcloudsworld, pleasantbarbarianfire, makofan and now lightningemperorsworld). Let’s not forget the multiple anons and the b@gmail.com and the m@gmail.com. Still, reporting to tumblr and see if they have ways to check it’s you and see what they can do about it, not off the table.  

Here’s my suggestion: you stop harassing the BB community (the entire community, not just me) and I let bygones be bygones. 

Or maybe, I inform your community (yes, I have also saved the usernames of the people you are constantly asking to bring down our posts because you can’t do it yourself – to be fair, neither can they) and let them know what you’ve been up to and how you’ve been using them to harass us. Unless of course, they already know, but they’re garbage so they don’t care. I may be willing to take a shot and find out.

Oh, and you can stop with the nonsense of being offended because I called you out on your homophobia. You don’t want to be called out on it, then stop being homophobic. For starters, stop harassing real LGBTQ+ people because your fictional straight ship didn’t become canon. 

If most saw it coming and you didn’t, then the writers didn’t fail, you did. Also, the hints didn’t begin mid-series, they have been there since the red fucking trailer. By the end of V3, a good chunk of the audience had called it. By the end of V6, almost no one thought BB wasn’t going to be endgame. 

You are one of the few exceptions. If that doesn’t scream volumes to you about your lack of understanding of storytelling/how much you live in denial, then nothing will. Live in “I’m right and everyone else is wrong” for as long as you want, but don’t ever bother me or anyone else ever again.

For the sake of honesty, I will say that I do not know if @megashadowdragon​ is the one behind the harassment of several BBers. I know with almost certainty they are behind mine, but I cannot be sure they have other victims since the patterns aren’t the same (at least, not the victims I know of). This been said, add them to the list of suspects.

I suppose I thank you for not being a complete asshole to me for the last 2,5 years, when I actually wrote the post that has you screeching for months. And now I say fuck you for being a complete asshole to me for the last 4 months because of a goddamn ship. Yet you have the fucking gall to pretend we are the toxic ones.  

TLDR: act your age (which you claimed is late 20s), and stop harassing people over a ship. No one owes it to you to pretend they did not see BB coming just because you didn’t. No one gives a shit about what you ship. Ship whatever you want as much as you want. Want to have an entire tumblr page just for BS? Go right ahead. What you cannot do is force your garbage ship down someone else’s throat. 

[phykios]

honesty and promise me, co-written with @darkmagyk [read on ao3]

Update: Annabeth has not done what needs to be done. 

August moves over into September, hot and sweltering days giving way to the first few hints of the coming autumn chill. One unseasonably cold night, Annabeth had gone to bed wrapped in one of Percy’s old Paris Opera sweaters, waking up with it and wearing it home to ward off the chill of the morning drizzle, like some a normal girlfriend would. 

It’s a problem, she knows, but she just cannot quit this man. 

And boy did she try, about a hundred different times. 

One time, she spent an entire Tuesday before seeing him googling around until she found a picture. It was three years old, and it showed Mittie--oh, sorry, Her Royal Highness Margherita--at a soccer game in Moscow. Next to her is the handsomest man in the world. Percy’s hair is shorter, and something about his windbreaker reminds her of some of the crew boys she knew at Harvard. They aren’t touching, but they are both smiling. This is the kind of girl Percy deserves. This is the kind of girl he should want. His type. She reminds herself of it for hours before meeting him at a show. But the smile he gives her is nothing like the one in the pictures with the princess. And when he whispers what he wants to do to her that evening, she just can’t do it. 

She even took him to his favorite pizza place once to soften the blow. But then she thought about how her dumping him would forever taint the magic of Antonio’s for the both of them, and she just couldn’t abide that.

So she kept putting it off. And putting it off. And putting it off.

And then he asked her to dinner with his parents again, on his one night off in three weeks.

“You’re sure you don’t want me to bring you something?” he asks for the fourth time, concern making his connection thin and tinny.

“It’s just a little stomach thing,” she lies, shaking out a ramen flavor packet. “I’ll be fine. You go have fun with your mom.��

“Okay. I’ll call later to check up on you.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m just going to be asleep.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Yeah.”

He clicks off. Her apartment is very quiet. For lack of anything else to do, she decides to check her mail.

Who even mails anything anymore, she thinks.

Rifling through the pile of wasted paper, she sighs at the banality of it all. Junk, junk, junk, NYCB brochure she needs to cancel, junk… Harvard?

She peers at it.

The red seal is unmistakable, as is her name, printed in neat, black ink. “Ms. Annabeth Chase.” Why are they contacting her? And more importantly, who the fuck gave them her address?

Hands shaking, she unfolds it. “Dear Ms. Chase,” it reads, “Thank you for your generous contribution to the Harvard Graduate School of Design. As one of our most promising graduates, we are so pleased and thrilled to receive your encouragement. With your gift, we were able to reach our fundraising goal of $2.5million, which will go to support the various operations of the school, so that we can continue to provide a top-notch education for your fellow students. You do make a difference for us, and we are immensely thankful for you!” And then it goes on. “As a thank you for your generous gift of $15,000, we would like to invite you to the Alistair Moore dinner for distinguished graduates and faculty. We would be delighted to receive you at...” 

She can’t finish, dyslexia scrambling the words in front of her. Or maybe that’s just her, trembling so hard she has to sit down. Fifteen thousand. The Alistair Moore dinner. She knows it well, yet another fancy networking event, like the Eta Industries party. Bile rises in her throat. Who would…

The answer hits her like a freight train. Only one person would be so bold. 

Crumpling the letter in her fist, she pulls out her phone, dialing the number she still stubbornly has memorized, despite deleting it off her contacts list. 

She isn’t sure if she’s upset that she gets his voicemail, or relieved. “Hey, dad. It’s me,” she says, grimacing as she starts off like he wouldn’t recognize her voice. Like it’s any other phone call. “I got your message. The Alistair Moore dinner? I’m not going. I told you, I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. What I need,” she sneers, “is for you to butt out and leave me the hell alone.”

Then she hangs up, before she can chicken out and delete it.

She shoves the letter into her recycling bin, down to the very bottom. Out of sight and out of mind. 

Well, her night is pretty much ruined. 

Ramen growing colder, she lies on her couch, her head hanging over the edge, studiously not looking at her phone. She shouldn’t have left that message. She shouldn’t have opened that letter. She shouldn’t have rebuffed Percy’s invitation. Or maybe she was right, in all those situations. Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck cares. Her leg bounces, frantic, stomach roiling.

Like a gunshot, her phone vibrates on her coffee table. Annabeth catapults herself up, reaching for it, nearly dropping it, even as her eyes begin to blur. Please let it be her dad. Please let it be anyone else but her dad. Please. Please. Please. 

checking in, writes Percy. feeling any better?

With a sob, she hits call. He picks up after the second ring.

“Hey,” he says, softly. “Everything okay?”

“Can,” she hiccups. God damn it. God damn her. “Can you please come over?”

She can feel his demeanor change over the phone. “I’ll be right there,” he says, calm and collected. “What’s your address?”

Her address is supposed to be a secret. No one is supposed to know where she lives. She doesn’t even like Luke knowing where she lives, and he might be the closest thing she has to family right now. But she tells Percy, and he promises to be there within thirty minutes. Throwing her arms over her face, she lies back down, breathing through her nose so she doesn’t vomit.

He makes it in twenty. here is the simple text, devoid of any hearts or emojis, and she buzzes him up. Less than a minute later, he knocks on her door. “It’s open,” she calls, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. 

Softly, the door clicks open, someone smoothly and quietly stepping inside. “Annabeth?” 

“Here,” she moans. She should get up to greet him. She can’t feel her legs. She can’t feel anything at all. 

The couch dips as someone sits next to her, a warm, large hand on her shoulder, and she can’t help but open her eyes. Percy is there in his blue sweater that she returned the last time she had slept over at Nico’s apartment, his brow furrowed in worry, but he’s smiling a little, too, just happy to see her, to see that she’s safe. In his other hand, he holds up a plastic bag. “I brought you a cookie,” he says, gently. “Chocolate chip.”

Annabeth blinks. “It’s… blue.”

He nods. “It is.”

Blue cookies. His mom’s special recipe, he had told her, for bad days of aching feet, harsh dance instructors, and school bullies.

The dam breaks. 

She launches herself into Percy’s embrace, sobbing. He tucks her head into his neck, his arms coming up around her. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “It’s okay.”

“I’m--I’m so sorry,” she gets out, in between heaving breaths. “I just--I didn’t want to be alone and--”

He shakes his head against hers, his nose in her hair. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

They sit there for a long, long time, him holding her as she cries, pathetic. She can only imagine what it must be like from Percy’s end: here he was, having a lovely dinner with his mother uptown on his night off, only to get a frantic call from his hookup, demanding that he drop everything and rush to her side. And he did. He even fucking brought her one of his mom’s special cookies. 

She does not deserve this perfect, amazing man.

It’s that thought more than anything else that pulls her out of her spiral, her sobs abating somewhat. “There we go,” he says, sweetly. “I’m going to get you some water, okay? Be right back.”

Resisting the urge to hold onto his sleeve like some kind of child, she lets him pull away, stepping into her kitchen. Head aching and eyes puffy, she can’t even really register the fact that he is in her apartment right now. Her secret hideaway. Her sanctum sanctorum. He can see her tasteful couches and her expensive coffee maker and her giant TV screen. 

But honestly? She doesn’t care about any of that right now. All she cares about is the long, solid line of Percy’s body next to hers as he sits back down next to her, handing her a glass of water. She drinks it down, greedily, falling back against him, his hand automatically coming up to her shoulder, and she turns into his side, drinking him in, just as desperate.

They don’t speak, just holding onto each other. 

As she drifts off, there on her couch, her arm around Percy’s midsection, she only has one real thought in her head. 

Forget the apartment--this is her sanctum sanctorum. This is her safe space.

***

Annabeth wakes up in a bed that isn’t her own, in an apartment that isn’t her own. 

It reminds her, weirdly enough of her mom’s apartment, she thinks as she sits up in the soft, cream sheets, here in New York. She had only ever been a handful of times, whenever her mother deigned to claim her for their allotted family time. She doesn’t remember much about that place--mostly the skyline through the window, the low, uncomfortable furniture, the spotless, empty kitchen. 

Across from the bed is a mirror, squat and wide. Annabeth has her hair back, her face devoid of metal. She looks tired, she thinks, and maybe a little older, dark, heavy bags beneath her eyes. She’s wearing a real, actual set of pajamas, rather than a sweater or an oversized shirt, pale pink silk tight around her body. 

Shaking her head, she looks down, and spies a thin band of gold on her left hand, which rests on her stomach, sporting a slight, but noticeable curve. 

Only then does she realize it’s a dream. She lets out a grateful sigh. Just a dream.

It seems like a pretty boring one, too. She’s older, a little fatter, and has a nicer apartment. Somewhere in the distance is the indistinct sound of a person singing. And beyond that the even more indistinct sound of the city. 

Stumbling out of bed, her feet falling into a pair of soft, pink slippers, perfectly positioned next to her bed, she makes her way out into the apartment. The walls are cream, decorated with generic seaside landscapes, a nondescript sailboat in the background against an unchanging, cornflower blue sky. 

The kitchen is empty. Breakfast is cooked, laid out on a placemat at the kitchen island, but no one is there eating it. No one is there cleaning up, or making coffee. The food looks delicious, like a magazine spread: a perfectly made bowl of granola and yogurt, a lemon poppyseed muffin, a glass of orange juice on the side. Nutritious. Small. 

It’s weird. It’s really weird.

Moving on, she enters the living room. There’s a little girl on her knees, maybe three or four, she’s wearing a red pinafore over a white polo shirt and Mary Janes shined like the top of the Chrysler building. The preschool version of a prep-school uniform. She’s hunched over the glass coffee table, frizzy blonde curls bouncing as she moves her hand back and forth, scribbling with a colored pencil on a piece of paper. 

All of a sudden, she notices Annabeth standing there. 

“Mommy!” She jumps up, holding the pencil behind her back, her green eyes wide with apprehension. “I--I was--”

She hears whistling, and turns to see… well, it's Percy, but he looks nothing like her Percy. His hair is cropped shorter, parted and moussed perfectly flat. He’s in a three piece suit. He’s in trousers. Not a pair of sweatpants or a muscle tee in sight.

He stops when he sees her. “Sorry, didn’t know you were awake, wouldn’t have been singing.” Which makes no sense, Because Annabeth loves Percy’s ambient music. He looks around her, speaking to his--to the girl, “I told you you’d have to stop when mommy got up.” 

Annabeth glances at the little girl, who nods too solemnly. 

“Don’t worry,” this stranger wearing Percy’s face says, “She’s ready for school. She is ready for her Math qualification. I only said she could draw for a little, to calm herself down.” He glances at the girl again. “Put your things back in the art box, and we’ll go to school. I have an 8:30 meeting with the board.” 

The little girl runs off. Holding her paper and her pencils close to her chest, like she’s afraid someone is going to take them away from her. Maybe someone is. 

Percy turns to her. “I confirmed our reservations at 7 tonight at Sarabeth’s with your mother’s assistant this morning. And the nanny is going to stay late, so we don’t have to bring her.”

The her in question reappears just then. She’s so small. And she’s carrying a backpack. She looks like that breakfast, out of a magazine. But normally kids in magazines smile. 

“Are you ready?” Annabeth’s voice finally says.

A beat, then she nods again. “Yes, mommy.”

“Good,” she says. Outside, the sunlight through the windows isn’t so bright anymore, but dark and cold, like a solar eclipse. “Make me proud.”

And she turns to go back to bed, but the floor has disappeared, and she steps on nothing, tumbling down into the void.

With a start, she wakes up again in her bed, to the smell of breakfast in the air. Which is confusing, because she’s pretty sure she fell asleep on the couch, and she usually doesn’t wake up in time for breakfast, let alone actually make it herself: she has Percy for that, now. 

Right. Percy. 

It comes back to her in flashes: the donation, the voicemail, calling Percy out of desperation. Inviting him into her room, her bed. Falling asleep in his arms. 

She physically shakes her head, roughly scrubbing her face, forcing herself further into consciousness. The light coming through her window is grey and weak, doing absolutely nothing to help her out. The morning feels muted, for some reason, like it’s very far away. Maybe it was her nightmare.

She can’t hear Percy, Annabeth realizes. That’s what’s wrong. She can smell breakfast, but she can’t hear him puttering away. She doesn’t hear the clanking of pans as he tries to be quiet, or his off-key humming, or the dull thump of footfalls on her floor as he practices his steps. 

God, how late did she sleep? If he has to leave for a morning class he usually makes sure to wake her up, first. For a kiss if nothing else.

But when she pads out to her kitchen, she’s stunned to find Percy still there, sitting at her warped kitchen table. There are two plates in front of him, eggs and bacon untouched and cooling. He’s fully dressed, too, in his dark jeans and stupid dance pun t-shirt: “Girls Just Wanna Have Buns,” his sweater on the empty chair. Annabeth had been weirdly looking forward to wearing that this morning; he likes seeing her in his clothes, and she likes seeing him without them. It’s a system that works for them, typically leading to a lot of smiles, a couple giggles, and maybe another round or two before he has to leave.

He’s not smiling now. His gaze is fixed on his plate, hands in his lap. “Morning,” she croaks, softly.

Percy lifts his eyes to her, unfathomable like the sea. “Morning.”

Something in her stops her from sliding into the seat across from him. Standing gives her strength, gives her power that she doesn’t want to give up. She may not be able to tell what Percy is thinking right now, but she knows when someone is gearing up for a fight. “What is it?”

“What is what?”

“What’s the matter?”

He is uncharacteristically still. Annabeth has gotten so used to him expressing himself via his body, the stillness is unsettling. Percy holds her gaze for a moment, then sucks in a breath, sitting up a little bit straighter. “I kicked over your recycling by mistake, and when I was cleaning up, I…” He bites his lip, a little ashamed. “I accidentally read some of your mail.”

“Okay.” He can’t be that broken up about her junk mail, can he?

It’s only then that she sees it, laid out neatly next to the breakfast plate. The letter has been carefully uncrumpled, but the red Harvard seal is as obnoxiously bright as ever. “I don’t mean to pry, but…” Percy licks his lips, gathering his words together. “I thought you didn’t get into Harvard?”

She doesn’t say anything.

“It’s just--this is from the Graduate School of Design,” he continues, looking at the page as if to confirm it. “And the dean says you were one of their ‘most promising graduates,’ here, so. That means you have, what, a master’s degree? Right?”

Still, she doesn’t say anything.

Percy rubs a hand over his mouth, square jaw squaring further. “I guess I just don’t understand why you lied to me.”

“I never--” she blurts. 

“I mean, were you trying to spare my New Yorker sensibilities by telling me you didn’t get in? Did you think I would actually care?”

There’s nothing she can say in response. So she doesn’t. 

After a moment, he blows out a sharp breath. “So. Fifteen thousand dollars, huh.”

She sighs, looking away. It’s not like Annabeth doesn’t hate it, too. “I didn’t do that,” she says, crossing her arms. “My dad did it, he just put it under my name.”

“And, he did that… why? I mean,” he tilts his head, a little bewildered. “I thought you guys weren’t on speaking terms.”

“To try and get me to network again, probably.” She shrugs. “And I’m not on speaking terms with him. He just hasn’t gotten the memo yet.”

He hasn’t raised his voice at all. He hasn’t moved from his seat, or made any kind of threatening gesture, but like an approaching storm cloud, she can feel the anger rolling in, dense and crackling. “Does he do this a lot, your dad? Throw his money around for you?”

“It’s not like I asked him to.” 

But he’s shaking his head, rueful. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. You know, I thought it was weird that you could afford an apartment in the East Village with a bedroom on periodic architecture contracts, but I’m guessing he pays for that, too?”

He’s right, of course, but that doesn’t stop her from bristling. “It’s a trust fund,” she snaps. “It’s still my money.”

“A trust fund,” he says, softly. “Right.” 

Anger lances through her, cold and burning. Just because her dad had set it up for her didn’t mean that she wouldn’t use it. “Yeah, a trust fund. Is that a crime, now?” 

He opens his mouth as if to say something, then snaps it shut with an audible click. Pushing his chair out, he stands up, hands flat on the table. “I should go and get ready for my class. I’ll… I’ll text you later, okay?” Percy takes a step towards her, hands reaching for her on instinct, then pauses. “See you around.”

Percy leaves without so much as a look back, closing the door so quietly she can barely hear it over the roar of blood in her ears.

[snowbellewells]

A Cottage by the Sea: Part Three

Hello there, lovely shipmates and readers! I truly never meant to keep you waiting so long for this next installment, but there we are. I went back to school, and then somewhat over-committed myself in other fic events and ideas as well, and time just flew by before I could get this update to you! I hope that you will still enjoy all the same. I’ll stop making excuses and just let you read.  This may seem like a bit of a “talky”, slower chapter, but I needed to let Killian learn and work through some things, and to set Emma on her course... 

** So many thanks as always to @cssns​ for the opportunity to participate in such a fun and amazing event, and to @searchingwardrobes​ for the gorgeous and stunning cover art I simply adore.  And a special shout out in this chapter to @winterbythesea​ for the suggestion of a name for Emma’s horse that sounded just right as soon as I heard it! :)

Summary:  Princess Emma has always been drawn to the shores of Misthaven, where the sea meets the shore near her parents’ castle. When an unknown boy washes up on the sand, with eyes as fathomless and blue as the waters that brought him to her, he soon becomes Emma’s best friend, her partner in crime, and her other half.  But the tides give and the tides take away, and as her blue-eyed boy sails in her father’s navy and risks all in defense of those who made him family, unexpected danger and challenge will try to tear them apart, and might well show him just where he came from that day he first appeared to her from the sea…

Read it from the beginning HERE or on AO3

Part Three

“My mother?” he questioned, voice hesitant and perplexed as he scrambled to stand and face the ethereal being who had stepped gracefully from the pool, and after just a moment appeared miraculously dry with not a hair out of place - as if she had never been underwater at all.

Killian blinked, half expecting her to disappear when his eyes reopened. When the beautiful nymph - for that was what she must be - still stood before him, watching curiously, he shook his head and wondered vaguely if he had hit it after all, either in the wreck or once washed to shore. “My mother died… long ago… when I was a mere babe, according to my father. It cannot be possible for you… that you… I mean…” Gesturing helplessly with awkward hands, Killian finally let his words trail off, beseeching her with a look to understand.

The mysterious lady’s eyes seemed to darken their blue shade with the sadness glistening in their depths. Shaking her head, she stepped closer, practically gliding over the ground between them. “Killian, my dear,” she crooned, her cool, soothing hand caressing his cheek with the lightness of a butterfly’s wing. “There is so much you do not know…” she shook her head sadly, beckoning him to follow her to a spot in the shade of the trees around the clearing. “Come, let me explain. It has been kept from you long enough. And…” she swallowed some deep emotion. “I’ve waited so long to talk to you.”

Biting his tongue against more indignant and disbelieving outbursts, Killian found he was greatly comforted by the soft press of her fingers on his own, and followed her dutifully to a large, flat rock at the clearing’s edge and took a seat. He had a thousand questions on the tip of his tongue and nearly as many rebuttals to her claim. Yet, he found he also wanted her to stay there - whoever or whatever she might be. He needed to know what she had to say.

When the woman’s large eyes turned to meet his again, she asked, “What do you remember of the time before you came to Misthaven?”

Running a hand back through his damp hair - dark like hers, in almost the same shade, he realized then - ruffling it up off his forehead and making it stand wildly on end, Killian shook his head at a loss. His hand fell back to his thigh with a slap as he shrugged and answered her with sheepish honesty. “I’m afraid you won’t gain much from my memory; it’s frighteningly blank beyond boarding a tall ship for some long journey with my father and my brother Liam. Then, somehow…” he shrugged again, knowing there should be more, but instead he had only ever found a mystifying blank. “Then my father is just… gone. Liam and I were alone on that vessel, little better than slaves.” His eyes fell to studying his rough-calloused hands, as if he felt abruptly unworthy to meet her eyes. “We were trapped there for years, Captain said we had a debt to pay and we weren’t getting free until we did so. Never let us out of his sight when we docked, so we couldn’t run. It was too far to swim for freedom on some shore, even though we could both swim like seal pups.” A bitter and raw half-smile pulled up one side of his mouth in a crooked smile before he continued.

As if she could sense his hurt and the hesitation that plagued him, the lovely being reached out once more to take his hand in hers, rubbing cool, soft fingers over the back of it in comfort. She did not speak, nor try to press or hurry him, merely waited patiently for Killian to find his words and purge the rest of his story.

“Truth be told,” he finally sighed in resignation, “I would still be a servant to that wretched captain… if not for the storm…”

That serene face only stared back at him, listening kindly and conveying the sense that she understood - more than he could remember being understood before. Eyes as blue as his own looked deep beyond his outer appearance, the sadness at his suffering as clear as if she had spoken it aloud. Instead, she gave a gentle nod, and once more waited patiently.

“There was a storm at sea, some years ago now,” he finally pressed on, reaching the part of his tale that both lead to his greatest loss and his truest joy. “It blew up suddenly and many were washed overboard - Liam and I among them. I do not know if they left us purposefully, not worth the risk and effort, or if they genuinely couldn’t see us in the rough waters. At any rate, I do not know how I survived. Through what twist of fate I washed ashore in the kingdom of Misthaven when Liam did not, but that was where I woke. I was found by the princess, who was just about my age, taken in and nursed back to health by the royal family - unbelievable as it seems - and eventually I joined their navy. Only, it would appear, to be shipwrecked once again on my first mission as a lieutenant.”

Here the woman returned his rueful smile at the course that had shaped his life thus far. There were many details he had omitted - his love for Emma, and her for him, chief among them - but it seemed needless to prattle on. In fact, it was clear his mysterious companion was at last ready to speak.

Remorse was clear in the face entirely too beautiful and flawless to be fully human as she reached the hand not still holding his up to trace the scar on his cheek - made long ago by a sadistic bosun before a nine-year-old Liam had jumped between and taken the brunt of the punishment. Tenderness and wistful longing filled her gaze as she did so. Her voice was still mellifluous when she spoke, though soft and slightly broken with her emotion. “My son, what you’ve been through… it pains me more than I can say. The hardship you endured, the abandonment and mistreatment you suffered, none of it was anything like the life I wished for you and your brother when you were born. Such dreams I had for you both as we sat outside our little cottage, watching the tides roll in and little sandpipers running over the sand. Liam was so sweet, so attentive, bringing me seashells as I held you and sang lullabies, anxious to help you learn to swim and build sandcastles…”

She trailed off for a moment, her pearly white teeth pressing into her lower lip as she struggled to suppress a new swell of emotion before continuing. It was just as well. Killian’s mind was racing, hardly able to make sense of such idyllic, wonderful scenes of which he had not even the slightest recall. 

Her other hand fell to her lap and her fingers were pulled free of his as he lurched to his feet and began to pace with the unsettled agitation overtaking him. “Why do I remember none of this?!” he implored, his every breath bringing an emotional swing from anger to stark devastation and back. It was as though he had been robbed anew of the loving family and carefree childhood he had grown up missing - this time by the assertion that he had possessed such treasure once and could not even picture it. “If you truly are who you say,” he finally demanded, returning to the lovely, dark-haired woman and crouching to peer into her face once more. His fist tightened and then opened reflexively, his adamance on gaining some answers, some understanding, clear. “If you really are my mother…  What happened all those years ago? Why did you leave us? Where were you when Liam and I were taken into servitude? Where have you been for all this time in between? … Why… why were we all alone in the world?”

He blinked rapidly, unwilling to show more weakness than his ragged question had already revealed. For the lost little boy who had never known his mother, who had never understood why he and his brother were surrendered to such a cruel fate, was still inside the grown lieutenant, but Killian could not let that broken child surface now, not when he might finally gain answers. His mouth was a firm line as he stared down this mysterious nymph; his eyes hard as he refused to let her look away.

A tear escaped her eye and ran down her porcelain cheek, a luminescent drop of liquid glowing brightly on its way. She was clearly suffering at the admission of his hurt, whatever else he might think of her. And when she spoke again, her voice was flinty and resolved; he could doubt her sincerity no longer. “Killian, I am your mother. Whether you accept it or not, that is as much truth as the waves coming in to meet the shore. But your father - he beguiled me. He had more power - and more darkness - than I knew. He stole you boys, my dearest loves, from me. By the time I had located you once more, and made preparations to bring you both here to Ogygia for safety, it was too late. Liam had been lost to the depths - stolen forever where your father could keep him for himself eternally. And you had been taken in by the royals of Misthaven. I watched that evening as they found you, and I came back unseen to watch you many other times with your crewmates, your golden-headed princess… any glimpse I could steal of you as you grew up hearty, strong and brave - just as I always knew you would. It seemed unfair to make myself known then, to uproot you once more… not when you appeared so happy…” She searched his face as her words came together in dawning realization. “What that -  Was I wrong?”

Overcome, Killian shook his head, not sure how to address his reply. Finally, he managed to murmur, “No, no you were not mistaken. They treated me as if I were their own. I was as happy as I have ever been…” His eyes seemed to be attempting to focus on something far back within his memory, long ago and leagues away. “But - “ he tried again, wetting his lips and plunging forward with his unbelievable question. “If all that is true, does that make… Is my father…?” He found he could not speak the ridiculous question his mind was urging him to ask.

She nodded instead, relieving him of it. “Yes, he is Davy Jones. And I am Calypso, daughter of Atlas.”

Killian knew his mouth must have fallen open, gaping at the woman before him, returning his gobsmacked look with nothing but open honesty. “Son, please believe me,” she urged, reaching for his hand once more. She nearly beamed with fragile-seeming hope when he dumbly allowed her to twine their fingers again. “I know it must seem like a lot to take in… a monstrous amount to believe on good faith, but I am telling you the truth. Never did I wish to be parted from you or your brother. I would never have left either of you by choice. That Liam is lost to us…” here she solemnly shook her head, bowing it over their joined hands to press a kiss to his knuckles, “For that, I can only apologize that I was unable to save him. You must know that I tried, Killian.”

Slowly but surely the rushing sound that had taken over in his head, the pounding of his heart and the strange sense of hysteria which had very nearly enveloped him, began to ebb away. The hurt and doubt did not vanish - and he had so many questions for her that he hardly knew where to start - but the hardest knot of bitterness and anger in his chest eased, loosened enough that he could catch his breath and study this woman before him - his mother! - with a focus that brought acceptance, and even a sort of thrill. He had a mother, who loved him and wanted to know him. How could he in good conscience turn away? And if all she said was true, of which he felt all but certain, then she had already suffered just as he had. Why should he force either of them to bear anything more?

Leaning in, an uncertain, almost eager look transformed his face as he spoke in an awed whisper. “You searched for us?” he repeated, letting the comfort of it sink into his soul. “You tried to get us back? To save Liam?”

Tears were pouring down the sea nymph’s face now, to the point that she didn’t even speak, merely nodded vigorously and opened her arms wide to him in welcome.

“Mother,” he exhaled, and gave in. He could hold back no longer. Resting his head on her shoulder, Killian leaned into a maternal embrace of the sort he had been missing all his life. His shoulders hitched with silent weeping, letting out much that had been buried so deeply he had not even known it still pained him.

Gentle, soothing fingers ran through his hair, rubbed his back as she rocked back and forth gently, at last feeling completed to have her child back in her arms, grown though he might be. She let him purge the torrent of grief and fear, lightly humming a melody that eased him and that Killian felt vaguely he had heard somewhere before.

His mother! His mind could hardly grasp the revelation, and yet, she was there. He might still be shipwrecked and stranded - lost - but he was no longer alone.

~~***~~

Under cover of dark, the very night after they had received news that Killian’s ship was lost, Princess Emma was using the filtered light of the full moon to sneak from her apartments and down to the stables. She had listened all day as her mother and father spoke to their trusted inner circle, debating and considering if there were any possibility of even some of the ship’s crew having survived - and how they would go about seeking them in a rescue mission if the chance existed. Was it even possible to look for a ship that was by now shattered in pieces and likely sunk to the depths, invisible to their eyes? And yet, Queen Snow had interjected more than once, her boundless well of hope apparent, could they truly do otherwise when their adopted son and dozens of other loyal sailors might still live?

Her husband and their advisors agreed, and yet, there was the other practical concern that any search voyage might only be sending more innocent lives into a trap - a snare set by a supernatural foe they did not understand well enough to combat and survive. Eventually, all left the council chambers but the King and Queen, and Emma herself. It was then that they used a mirror - a magic one enchanted to allow them to communicate, which had been gifted to Snow by Ariel as a wedding present when she married her ‘Charming’. Using it, they contacted the maritime kingdom’s rulers for more information.

The news had been dire. Emma shivered even then, hours later, under her heavy riding cloak as she gingerly gripped the vine-covered trellis next to her balcony and swung out onto it, needing to climb down and cross the lawn to the stables undetected. The memory still haunted her, of Ariel explaining how legend had it that Davy Jones took any prisoners left alive aboard his phantom ship, eternally pressed into his cursed crew.

What it had boiled down to in the end was that they could not send more men out on a fruitless mission; not knowing where to send them, or even where they should begin, and especially not when most likely the only result would be their capture or death as well. All the same, Emma had felt hurt and betrayed on Killian’s behalf - despite the decision making logical sense. It was maddening that they would do nothing when Killian would have left no stone unturned, no island or inlet unsearched, if the roles were reversed and any of those who sat debating whether to search for him or not were lost. She had just barely managed to bite back such recriminations, knowing they were unfair, but she could not help storming from the meeting, unable to helplessly stand by any longer. She had heard her father gently urging her mother to let her go, to give her some time, and she had been in her rooms ever since. Not crying or grieving as most probably believed, but plotting her next move.

Though she had no evidence to back it up, Emma knew - simply knew it in her marrow, as sure as she felt her heart beat and her blood pound in her veins - that her lieutenant was out there somewhere alive. Just as she had since the first shock of the shipwreck’s announcement had worn off, she still believed that, were her sailor no longer in the world, she would be aware of the loss, the lacking in all that he left behind. There had been a link between she and Killian since he washed ashore and she found him all those years ago; in her deepest being, Emma felt it was because they were meant to be together, always destined, two halves of the same whole, just like her parents. She might not profess such girlish dreams aloud, but she harbored the belief nonetheless. And, since she had not felt the agony she would fully expect if he had been ripped from life, no inkling of the void she knew would split open her chest if he ceased to be, then he could still be found. It was as simple - and as much a challenge - as that.

It mattered not that she didn’t yet know where to go, she would be on her way before any could stop her or hold her back. She could chart a course from there. That afternoon as she had prepared and packed, the messenger bird she had sent out returned with her letter for Killian unopened on its leg. Yet, even that could not deter Emma. He could be somewhere the creature simply had not found. It didn’t mean… but she shook her head abruptly and refused to contemplate that possibility.

Alighting on the ground with a little hop, Emma glanced back up the ivy-trellised wall she had just descended, allowing a moment’s pride that no alarm had been rasied and none seemed the wiser. There was a fair dose of irony in the fact that she was now trying to steal away under cover of night to escape her parent’s watchful concern and protection, when it had been her mother, the Queen herself, who had first shown her how to make that scale down the outer walls in case they were ever under attack and Emma found herself in need of an alternate means of escape. Regardless of its original intention, the lesson had stuck, and the princess put her skills to good use. The cool wetness through her thin slippers brought a delicious sort of shiver up from her toes through her legs and the rest of her as she dashed across the already dew-kissed grass.

Upon entering the royal stables in a state of warm and cozily quiet peace - as if all inside were bedded down and drowsing for the night - Emma blew out a breath of relief. Her returning calm was encompassing enough that she gave a startled jump of surprise when her mare, Lady, whickered and bobbed her head to her in greeting.

“Hey there, Sweet,” Emma crooned, offering an apple to her beloved pet, her favorite mount since she first learned to ride as a little girl. Her father had given Lady to her when the mare was still a young colt, and they had been fast friends ever since. The horse playfully bowed her head to her mistress, nudging Princess Emma’s shoulder with her long velvety nose and munching the treat contentedly. As Emma’s fingers continued to scratch along the gentle creature’s forelock, she murmured soothing words and the horse seemed to almost nod in delight, bobbing her head and huffing approval with short snorts of air.

“Ready to go for a ride?” Emma continued, making quick work of saddle and bridle before leading Lady out of her stall and back towards the entry of the large main stable. It was as if the animal could indeed pick up the nervous excitement radiating from her rider; the sharp clopping of her hooves made quick staccato taps along the solid floor and seemed to mimic Emma’s ever-quickening pulse in her ears.

With one last glance around, making sure they were still undetected, the princess stepped into Lady’s stirrup, swung herself up onto the animal’s back, and gathered the reins in hand as she quickly doused the lantern she had lit in the hanging sconce just inside the large enclosure. Stealth was imperative, but now that she was in the clear, she would never risk a fire that could endanger the other horses, grooms and trainers. She would see well enough by moonlight once outdoors again.

A slight shudder ran through her as she glanced back at the castle over her shoulder once more. Lady trotted easily into the forest once Emma had found the gate watched by her uncle who was known for his habit of falling asleep at the most inopportune times. Slipping past him while he snored unawares, the going was easy and the path familiar from there.

Horse and rider made swift time, passing through the trees and down toward the harbor in nighttime shadows unmolested. When at last they neared the more rickety end of the docks where local fishermen and merchants kept their smaller sailboats and personal water crafts, Emma dismounted and moved toward one particular skiff, alone and completely abandoned, bobbing quietly on the gentle waves. At first glance, it appeared forgotten there without owner, but as Emma drew even with the small yet sturdy vessel, she could see it was just as she remembered - simple and unassuming certainly, but well-cared-for and more than adequate for her needs. 

With little time to waste, knowing it would not be long before her absence was discovered back at the palace, and she needed to be far enough out to sea by then so she would not be spotted or returned home by well-meaning rescuers who wished to see her safe even before having Killian found. She simply couldn’t agree with that logic - royal duty or no - and in the end it was her life. She stroked lovingly over her horse’s withers again, one last scruff at the velvet muzzle in affection, before murmuring, “Head on home now, girl. You know the way,” before removing bit and bridle and watching as the little mare nodded her head as if in understanding of the command, turned and trotted back the way they had come, hooves clipping first against the wooden planks of the pier, then the cobblestones of the street beyond, tail swishing as she moved further into the distance.

Puffing out a short breath, Princess Emma consoled herself with the fact that her horse did know the path back to the castle well, and that nothing untoward would befall her - especially not so early in the pre-dawn hours when the streets and forests were almost completely deserted. Urging herself  back into motion, she loosed the ties holding the small craft to its place along the pier and hopped fron the docks onto the boat deck without lingering any further. She allowed barely a moment of anxiety for the rush of concerns flooding her mind - tasks to bring the boat ‘round, set her on course, and guide her safely from the harbor and the proximity of other ships, pier and shore into open waters. She had no time to be timid; she knew what had to be done, had practiced and rehearsed it in her mind numerous times in the last few hours as she put her plan in motion. Now she simply had to follow through.

Luckily, the water was smooth and still, the wind with her, and the others vessels nearby safely anchored out of her path. With her mind on her route, eyes clear and hands steady, Emma was soon leaving the mouth of the harbor and gaining speed as the wind truly caught in the sails overhead. Her sailor had taught her well, and she was on her way to find him.

Tagging: @cssns​ @kmomof4​ @searchingwardrobes​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @laschatzi​ @jennjenn615​ @therooksshiningknight​ @tiganasummertree​ @lfh1226-linda​ @capswantrue​ @spartanguard​ @optomisticgirl​  @teamhook​ @revanmeetra87​ @tornadoamy​ @xhookswenchx​  @bubblegum1425​ @jarienn972​ @courtorderedcake​ @gingerchangeling​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​ @thisonesatellite​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @mariakov81​ @ineffablecolors​ @shireness-says​ @snidgetsafan​ @carpedzem​ @let-it-raines​ @stahlop​ @hollyethecurious​ @winterbaby89​ @darkcolinodonorgasm​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @kday426​ @nikkiemms​

[aspiestvmusings]

ZEP: Max & Zoey -  Thoughts 1

Here’s my take... on some of the storylines/scenes/lines: 

Again.. super long post. SPOILERS up to 1x10, and possibly hints at what is coming. Hence...SPOILER WARNING. 

Analyzing the M/Z storylines from the perspective of “things that fans don’t understand or like about Max’s character behaviour”. And possibly providing a different perspective to look at some of the things/behaviour...

Mentions of Z/S relationship/storylines. 

In the Pilot Max was encouraging Zoey to go after Simon, cause he knew she’s interested in the new guy... but that changed...at about the time she/he/they found out the guy is taken/engaged. That’s the moment when his “best friend mode” kicked in & tried to not let Zoey make her past mistake again with overly complicated, exhausting for everyone & not good relationship choices...

                               ***********************************************

The one & only reason I can’t be Team Simon. 

I cannot ever consider Team Simon for one simple reason - the writers had the character be in a relationship/engaged...when his emotional affair with Zoey started. IF he would have been single, I could talk about choosing sides/teams, but this single fact takes Simon out of the equation. No matter how good looking, cool, hot, or compatible he might be with Zoey. No matter if their relationship grows in the future... Their first moments were cheating (on Jessica), and no matter how “human” and “real”, that is the line for me that shan’t be crossed. And the fact that the relationship ended does not change what happened before - they kissed while he was still engaged. You can’t take that back. IF the writers would have made him single..since start...I could debate which Team I’m on, but the fact he was engaged eliminates him for me. But none of their cute moments or shared grief bond... or hot dances change the simple fact that he cheated on Jessica. 

Sidenote: if we’re talking cast, then I'm both Team Skylar AND Team John C. Those two gents are both great AND they can both sing!

                                ***********************************************

Yes, unless Max knows something we don’t know about Zoey (that she, just like her dad, actually, secretly loves big gestures and moments) his choice for how he professed his love seems to be wrong way to declare his love for this specific lady. Because according to what we know Zoey is not into music (but then again...the use of a flash mob was a plot twist device by the writers... who just decided to use that surprise for Max/Zoey, when it could’ve been any other character... but this was simply done so that the show could mess with Zoey’s powers and give her character “oh, this isn’t in my head, this is real” moment.) But... that’s just a possible bad choice by the character, not anything horrible. And that’s the way he knows how to say it, even if a small, personal, reveal seems more Zoeys style. 

But... are we actually correct in assuming this? After the flashmob she never once mentioned anything about it being “too much of a public declaration for her taste”. She even called it “an amazing gesture”, which tells us that while she might be uncomfortable with “big moments” in general (public speaking...), she is comfortable with them with people she’s closed to (her dad, her best friend...) And we saw her talk about it with Max & with Mo. Her only worry was related to him telling her, in reality (not just in her mind...via heart song) that he has feelings for her. She has not shown any worry regarding it being done via “grand gesture”. So... is it possible that it actually isn’t so “not her” as we assume? 

Just as perhaps Max from 1x09 is not as “passive” and “not interested in promotion” as Max from 1x01? Perhaps time & peer reviews, and everything else...has changed him? And he’s actually interested in climbing the career ladder.,.. as opposed to the Max in the Pilot, who told Zoey that he does not want any of that...

Maybe Zoey is her fathers daughter, and actually (secretly) loves big moments & grand gestures? Because her dad is all about “big moments”. And maybe it’s actually really appropriate for Max to tell Zoey about his feelings this way, in “big moments/grand gesture” style flash mob? To honor her dad...in a way. Cause Mitch loves these kind of moments & Mitch is No 1 in Zoey’s life, so...  maybe we’re all wrong in assuming it was “not Zoey’s style”? 

                      *************************************************

From Max’s POV this is what’s going on with Zoey/his relationship with Zoey: 

She ends their regular movie nights...with no explanation. Something that they’ve done...forever...since they are best friends. (He probably thinks it’s because of her dad’s health and that she’s focused on..that... after her promotion he even asks if her “weidness” is because of “her dad” and/or her now being his boss) 

She starts acting strangely...around him, and general...and she doesn’t talk to him anymore (it’s been implied that they’re BFF and talk about everything... but she hasn’t told him what’s up with her). He wonders if it’s because of her dad’s health and everything related to it (but he doesn’t know if its only because of that, or if there’s something more/else, too) 

He has feelings for her, but he doesn’t tell her (she only finds out cause she can hear his heart songs). Finding out that her BF has deeper feelings for her freaks her out, even though he himself does not pressure her or anything like that..yet. She is the one who assumes their “discussion” at work is presumed as “lovers quarrel” & she is the one who presumes that “is it a date” means he considers a meal together as date...when all he means is “are you free to go” (to the new place which they both wanted to go to..as friends) Up until the flash mob there is zero “pushing” from him. 

He only sings love songs to her when he’s single - during the time he’s dating someone else (Autumn) he stops singing to her, because he’s not a cheater. When he’s with someone, he’s with that someone, and devoted to that person..only. So he stops for a while. 

He sees & hears her say that the thing she had for/with Simon is over (1x06) & that she’s not doing any of that anymore. Since she doesn’t talk about any of it with him, this is all he knows so he assumes she meant it, and she’s done chasing the engaged man. This is also probably the only inside info she has on the whole Z/S situation - what he sees/hears during the “burnt roses” moment. (So... it is not a nice surprise when he learns in 1x08 that after everything her words were not true, cause it’s not all over/done with S...)

Why he doesnt believe her right away when she tells him of her powers: As a rational person he has a hard time believing her claims about superpowers at first. Also... it seems like such a “lie” to change the subject, and simply avoid giving him an honest answer (yes OR no) But after hearing some more facts he starts believing. And by the time she “glitches” he has no doubt that she’s going through all this...

Both Zoey and Max are emotionally challenged. (tbh, just like Max I believed Autumn when she said that all is cool when they broke up during their morning jog. I’m emotionally challenged, too. I honestly did not know that what she said and what she thought/felt were different, so I get why it came as a surprise to him to learn she wasn’t cool about it) The whole Autumn/Max break-up tells us that Max doesn’t get the subtle clues, and needs to hear the words to know the truth. Hence he believes what Zoey tells him... at first. 

He misreads her signals in 1x05 - 1x06 - 1x07 (”I need more Max”, reinstating their movie nights, touching his bicep, commenting she needs more Max in her life, checking him out when he’s shirtless, etc), and based on that confesses his love for her via flashmob. What surprises him is not so much that she doesn’t respond with the same, but that she doesn’t give him an answer...at all. (Mo explained it best to Zoey...later; the boy deserved an answer... even if it’s “I don’t know...yet”. Also... we’ve never heard her say that she didn’t appreciate it because it was a big gesture...so she might not be as uncomfortable with the gesture as we think) Instead she runs, and then she avoids giving him an answer, kinda changing the subject, and telling him about her powers. Instead of telling him the truth right away, cause truth might hurt, but it’s better than avoidance/ignoring. 

This is shown later in the episode, when after Zoey finally gives him her...messy & selfish answer... he’s hurt, but content. She tells him that the reasons why she isn’t ready to go from friends to more is because her focus has to be on her dad for now & because she’s afraid that “they” won’t work out & she’ll lose her best ftiend...for good... and she can’t risk that... at this time. This is not the answer he hoped for, but as Mo predicted...this is the answer he accepts. That can be seen in the elevator scene with Simon. He’s OK with waiting & this not being the right time (cause she needs to focus on her dad at the moment). He also doesn’t say they’re done, he asks what she asked - pressing pause on their traditional friends activities like movie nights. 

During the 1x07 end elevator convo he also learns that the totally engaged man has been “keeping tabs” on Zoey & Z/M. Which concerns him. Cause why is an engaged man looking at other women & paying attention to whom they socialize with (when his focus should only be on his fiancee)? Like Mo, he probably thinks “the guy is a player” after this convo. And again... he, as Zoey’s friend, is not in the wrong, when he thinks he should “protect” her from the morally questionable guy. 

Then in the “very next day basically” he learns that she wasn’t completely honest with him. And since she promised 100% honesty to him, he’s hurt that she as his friend isn’t being honest. She sings him a love song (it is possible that she wasn’t aware of her deep feelings for him...but after this she definitely is...100%)...but then tries to take back the honesty and claim that the truth she spoke is not the truth. But what really hurts him is how her “honesty” from their last convo turns out to be a lie (and we know it is, because we’ve seen Zoey tell her mom & Mo about her real feelings, not the cleaned up version she told Max at the end of 1x07) - and he voices why he’s upset. It’s not because she doesn’t return his feelings, it’s because she wasn’t honest with her best friend. Because through her heart songs he knows for a fact that she has feelings for him - that she loves him, too. So he’s not upset that she doesn’t love him back. He even says it during their bathroom convo - the best reason to be “mad” at her is that she told him she loves him/she’s his, when she didnt mean to tell him this (the truth). Meaning: she thinks it’s “unfair” he’s upset that “she sang him a heart song, when she didn’t mean to”... or in other words: she thinks it’s fair to keep the truth a secret from him...and this rigth after she promised 100% honesty to him... and he doesn’t agree with the secret-keeping. 

We saw Max’s feelings progression since Pilot: in 1x01 he THINKS he’s in love with her, in 1x02 he’s a SUCKER for her & by 1x07 he fully admits he LOVES her. With Zoey the timeline is..kinda... starting in 1x06... The “500 miles” moment is her “I think I love you” moment & her heart song to him in 1x08 is basically her “I love you” moment. 

She claims she isn’t ready for a relationship because she needs to focus on her dad right now, when in reality she really is torn between two men - and she wants Max to be her emotional support and shoulder to lean on (knowing he loves her, and knowing that he knows that she knows he loves her), while she herself is pursuing another man, Simon. An engaged man she’s obsessed with cause she “finds his body hot & has a grief bond with”. (in reality: her role has mostly been being his grief therapist - and she’s not really told him about her dad that much...so it’s pretty much one-sided anyway) But just as she didn’t want to be the other woman, he doesn’t want to be the other man/third wheel... and that’s understandable. 

Then when Max gets the job offer he goes to his best friend for support. And while I personally read the scene as him saying “no, that was not the right answer, but it gave me mine (I’m taking the job)” being a response to her asking “was this the right answer?” because this meant she wasn’t still being honest with him, and instead of giving her her true answer she gave him the answer she thought he wanted to hear... I am willing to accept that what the writers meant was that he wanted her to give a more personal answer and/or ask him to stay because he is a valuable member of the team. 

Her reply was as his boss, and co-worker/friend. She only focused on their work relationship, not their personal friendship. She’ll miss sitting across from him... not that she’ll miss him outside work (and  yes...it’s only two floors up, and working in different departments does not mean they can’t hang out oustide work...) but still her answer did not include her role as best friend/possible future romantic partner....even when he asked her to specify the “I’m Your’s Zoey’s” answer - she only focused on the work related part when replying...to that.  This gave him the clarity needed - she’s not into him, so he did the right thing & put space between them. Since she didn’t include the “I’m Yours Zoey” that meant to him that she’d choosen Simon...and  just as it’s very human to grieve and cheat...it's also very human to feel hurt/heartbroken. And he should not have to subject himself to seeing her with someone else (when he knows she has feelings for both) - making the same mistakes over again she’s made before with her relationships. So his choice was the right one...for both. They need time apart, time to grow as individuals, time to reflect... 

Yes his speech in 1x10 was directed mostly to her, but he was adressing the whole 4th floor/Team, really. Cause no-one stood up to give him a “good luck” hug when he came to collect his things. And his best friend didn’t even have any encouraging words to him...on the day he moved to the 6th floor.... and even admitted she didn’t get to get him a “good luck gift” (which he could just assume is because she’s busy with her dad, but we know that while she had 4 days to buy that pen/mouse...and didn’t, she managed to get a plant as housewarming gift for the other man in like 4 hours. And we also know that she voiced no concerns about losing her best friend and a good team member at work...while talking to Mo... yet she had lots of things to say about “the man who just broke up, and whom I said I would not chase anymore, but now that he’s been single for 4 seconds, we can make out and it’s not cheating this time anymore”... so she’s showing no signs of caring about his best friends life changes, while caring a lot about the other mans life changes) 

So of course he feels underappreciated on the 4th floor. The peer reviews, the boss, the team manager, the job offer... it all plays a part in his decision. And the D*rk Point boss knows exactly what to say...to make him feel appreciated...something he didn’t feel he got on the 6th floor... but he didn’t realize until he heard Ava point out his good work..with the maze, with the chirp pitch...and though he may not realize that Ava, too, has her own agenda, hearing that he is appreciated...as a worker & as a human...made him feel good  (we saw how important positive feedback is for everyone during the peer reviews plot), and he realized he didn’t get any of that, really, on the 4th floor. And once again... while he may have secretly wanted to hear her say “stay”, what he actually really wanted/needed was for her to encourage him, and show genuine happiness for him, and for her to be completely honest with him. And he didn’t feel like that’s something she could be right now. To put it in her own terms: “everyone is so nice & polite, and no one is giving me the raw & honest feedback”...cause her reply to him when asked about the job offer was “polished” & “nice”, not “honest & raw”. (and I think we all agree that her telling him to take it  & him taking it was the right move...for all... cause they both need space & to grow individually)

In the Pilot we learn that Max thinks he’s not management material & he’s not looking for career opportunity. So to Zoey's knowledge this is not in character for him? So whether or not he’s changed during the time between then & now, to Max’s knowledge she knows that he likes being just a coder. So for her to not know him...and not remember that he’s told her this, could be disappointing. So her reply: That’s a great career opportunity MIGHT tell him that she doesn’t know him and what he wants. (this is the flashmob argument: we, fans, think that a flashmob is “not Zoeys style” & we, fans, think that promotion is “not Max’s style”. We might be wrong, cause we don’t know everything about the characters + they can change...over time...)

Another thing she says to him when he asks advice regarding the job offer is “I would never stop you from going after what you want”. When they both know that what he really wants is her - he’s made it clear. And yet... here she is saying she’d not stop him, when she is “stopping him” from doing just that. And at the same time...as pointed out in the last part... is a promotion what Max really wants? Cause it is not the case for “1x01 Max”...and we & Zoey haven’t been made aware that he’s changed his mind. So... does his best friend not know him? (or does she known him better...and know he’s changed his POV on promotions)

Max & Zoey have been best friends & colleagues...for 5 years...since the first day on the job. From Max’s POV...something changed..suddenly...a few months ago. For a while he didn’t know why and what, but now he knows why.  And just like it took time for Zoey to adjust to her “power”, same applies to Max (adjusting to her powers). 

From Max’s POV...his best friend is dishonest with him, she avoids him, she has changed, she comes to him when she needs him... but she herself doesn’t offer anything back (yes, he is aware she’s grieving, and he understands it, but his best friend is not letting her friends help her during the time she needs to lean on family/friends). We have rarely seen her talk to him about anything else than office gossip...or her powers related stuff...recently. And it’s heavily implied they used to talk...all the time... about everything. His best friend also set him up with another woman...just to avoid him after she learned that he has feelings for her. His best friend claims her focus has to be her dad, and she can’t do more than friendship at this time, but at the same time she continues pursing another man. And this after she promised to be 100% honest with him. And she betrayes that trust the “very next day”. So he has every right to be upset, and hurt. 

Zoey has every right to be upset about the fact that she thinks Max is “pushing her to have feelings for him” (when they both know... for a fact..after her heart song that she does have feelings for him), but in this case Max has every right to be upset about the fact that he thinks “she is avoiding him”. She has the right to grieve, so does he. If she has the right to be upset that Simon doesn’t return her feelings... then Max has the right to be upset that she doesn’t return his feelings. The same rules have to apply to all, not just main character. And if you look at the storylines closely, you’ll see the parallels... the things that Zoey is upset about (fans are upset about) regarding Simon’s behaviour (when pursuing him) are the same exact things that Max is upset about regarding Zoey (his pursuit of her). The same way that some fans point out Max is “obsessed with Zoey” there’s a parallel story with Zoey is “obsessed with Simon”. All Max wanted from Zoey was what Zoey wanted from Simon - clarity. For her/him to have clarity. And just as she felt the other man didn’t have it, he felt that she didn’t have it. 

Because we, the audience, know that Zoey (thinks she has) has feelings for both men - her behaviour in past episodes (especially 1x06 - 1x07) and her heart song confirm that she has feelings for Max, and because he knows her secret, he knows that that’s a fact. So he has every right to be upset that she  “doesn’t like him back/doesn’t want to be with him”, when he knows that she does love him back, while claiming the opposite. And she won’t talk to him about it... 

From his POV it is as follows: they both have admitted they love each other. She claims she needs time to deal with her grief and can’t risk their friendship. She tells him she loves him...and the very next minute goes to another mans arms - that’s the part that upsets him. He’s not upset that she’s not returning his feelings/not wanting to date him, nope. He’s “upset” because he, as her best friend who knows her & her past relationships, knows that her thing with the engaged man will not end well for her.  And yes, he is not wrong in saying that in a case when she has feelings for two men it’s a better option to choose the best friend, who has always been there for her (she’s said this herself) than the totally engaged (until just recently) & morally questionable, emotionally unavailable grieving hot guy.                       

While Max choices have been just “mistakes” (perhaps not the best idea to confess your feelings via flash mob to a girl who only listens to podcasts?), then Simon’s choices have been actual “bad decisions” - cheating. And though both Simons & Zoey’s bad choices have been rooted in their grief/depression, they cannot “excuse” it with being a mess due to grief. Instead of continuing the downward spiral they should own their mistakes, acknowledge them as not good choices. It’s one thing to use the wrong gesture to confess your love to somone, and completely another thing to cheat on your fiancee (and blame it on being a mess cause of grief). Those two things should not be comparable. 

I can’t believe how some people see Max response to her “no one understand why you got the promotion” (translation: you didn’t deserve it) as harsh. Like her cruel words were “justified” because she’s grieving..or just because...even though she was not right to say them, but his behaviour has been “unacceptable”. Yes, his comments to Zoey are not the friendliest (when he’s telling why he chooses 6th floor over 4th... after the “The Boy is Mine” sing-off, but they are nothing compared to Zoey’s “you don’t deserve this promotion & you are selfish for not being there for me whenever I need something from you”. 

We can all see & understand that each character has flaws & makes mistakes & says some things they shouldn’t. But some of these things are “worse” than the others. And his reply to her rude-fuled-by-her-anger-phase-of-grieving comment to him was tame. He was actually quite calm & cool during his response to her (you’re calling me selfish?). And he directed the coded message at Zoey on the 6th floor directly at her because he knows she’s emotionally challenged, so she needed to undrerstand that it was directed at her, too...so she’d start understanding that she hurt him with her words/behaviour too. He wanted her to get that message, cause he had seen that until now she had no idea how her actions/inactions affect him. 

He may seem like being “upset” with her... but it’s also understandable, because she kinda broke his heart, and just as she’s allowed to not return his feelings, he’s allowed to feel sad that she doesn’t. To put it in “fairytale terms”. But he’s in no way pressuring her to return his feelings & start a relationship now. All he wants/needs from her is honesty & clarity. 

And mostly... when will Zoey finally give Simon the advice he needs - go see a professional therapist! What the man needs is professional help not a mind-reader, who is a mess herself. And is Zoey doesn’t stop keeping it all in and won’t talk to her family/friends about her grief, then she, too, will soon need professional help... (therapist). 

                        ******************************************************

Through all of this Max’s there for her:  he supports her when she’s interested in the new guy..(until he finds out the man is taken); he supports her to go after the promotion; he brings her dad... his “closest thing to a dad he’s had” soft food...that he can eat, he goes to support her when she gets a call about her dad’s health & he finds a way to get her to her dad..fast; he saves her “glitch song” and turns it into a pitch for the CEO; he goes to check on her, & gives her her mom’s message..even when he’s hurt by her (and on top of that he gives her good friend advice about her dad). And she does acknowledge this..on several occasions. So...this “social distancing” (physical distance between them during work & off work) is needed to make her/them start to see things from different perspective, and realize some truths... that only distance/change could give them. 

There is a real inconsistancy between what she really feels & thinks...and  what she says/acknowledges she feels & thinks. 

ETA: And it all won’t start moving forward & she won’t start character development until she’ll truly embrace her powers. Cause she still seems to view them as “burden” instead of “helpful tool”. Sure... she has started to realize the good she can do with having this ability (in general Howie/Abigail situation was the first time she really used her ability to really improve the situation & first time she really emphatized), but until she fully embraces it all, she’ll remain “lost”. The turning point will be actually losing her dad...for real. 

                        *************************************************

[what-a-messsss]

2x1 rewatch

My poor Netflix is so confused.  I’ll hop on my phone to see if I can find a detail in an ep and then it’ll try to start the show again at halfway through 4x7 or the end of the finale, and I have to figure out what ep I’m actually looking for.

All aboard for “Unquiet Mind.”

Ok, realizing that Jacob and Vic are both ‘play with the radio’ types and Henry and Walt are both ‘or silence’ types is probably a bit funnier to me that it should be.  Didn’t really expect to be finding character parallels between those two.  

BAAAABY!  I totally forgot about the baby buffalo!  Eeeeee!  

Interesting that the prisoner (whose name I have totally braindumped, whoops) knows that Walt would know about the meaning of the white buffalo to the Cheyenne.

$10 says that doctor agent is a redhead because of Starling.  For being 2% of the population, redheads sure do make up a disproportionate part of fictional character real estate.  (I say with lots of love for Cady...)

Also, I feel offended on behalf of both the Red Pony and the Busy Bee by the sign Cowboy’s Corner claiming they have the best food in 3 counties.  Piffle.

“Progress.  Prosperity.  People.  I’m Branch Connally, and I can alliterate.  Vote for the PP People.”  Shut uuuuuup.  Jacob, I’m blaming you for this.  If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t have had the money to be annoying us even when he’s hours away.  Boooo.  (I mean, obviously also blame Barlow, but that’s more of a ‘with a shovel to the face’ kind of blaming, rather than an eyeroll and calling ‘boooo’ at the screen because your fav was a pain.)

Ah ha, title drop.  I haven’t really paid that much attention to the episode titles, I’ll be honest.  This is the only title drop I can actually remember other than Jacob’s line about “Dogs, horses, and Indians,” although it still bothers me immensely that the episode title doesn’t have the Oxford comma, omGs.  

Durrel’s discoloured eye is really good.  I’m guessing a scleral contact lens?  Just different enough to be noticeable and a little off-putting without drawing too much focus.  It keeps the mental discomfort we get from it just around the unconscious level.

That’s right!  Ruby is out of town!  Min and I decided that she was at a conference in Idaho Falls, since we had already said that her family lives in Texas, and I like the idea of her also doing vocational enrichment training and keeping on the cutting edge of her wheelhouse of policing.  She’s a heckin’ boss, and I adore her.

This is the most random thing in the world, but that’s sort of my wheelhouse... Does Katee Sackoff have a scar on the tip of her nose?  Because I swear at 9:09-11 it looks like it.  Not that it matters, but I’ve never noticed it any other time, and now I’m really curious.

Ope, longer hair Henry in this flashback.  With emotions and it’s killing me.  I also didn’t think about the fact that the Halfmoon’s were talking to the white police instead of (in addition to?) the tribal police.  Though that would have been during Malachi’s reign, since it was 4 years ago.  Oof.

Is that a gas fire?  Because if that’s one of the lines on fire, isn’t the whole place in serious danger of going up in a massive explosion?  There was an explosion like that locally last year and it took out the whole station and killed two people.  Please tell me they called in the fire as soon as they saw it when they were pulling up.  (Of course they didn’t, who are we kidding.  It’s these two.)

So they’ve been driving along with their lights on, pull up maybe 8 feet from the abandoned prison van...  explain to me why he turns his headlights off at that point?  Anybody waiting to ambush them is going to have their eyes more adjusted to the dark, and these two loose the light and there is already no element of surprise because they pulled right up to the van.  Why did you turn the lights off, Walt?  I mean, maaaaaaybe the headlights being on would have reflected off of the van windows and make it harder to see inside?  But that is not particularly good reasoning, I feel.  (Meta guess being that the director/whomever figured that the lights off left them in a colder colour palate and heightened the drama.  Which... they’re not wrong.  But whyyyyyyy would Walt turn them off, not the director?)

“Come on out and I won’t shoot you!” prisoner McGoober yells, having just tried to take Vic out with a shot to center mass.  Ok, sure buddy, we believe you.  The laser sight catching the falling snowflakes does look cool.

Good use of an elbow, Walt.  I’m not actually sure if it was supposed to be a punch but wasn’t lined up great with the camera, but I’m ruling it an on purpose elbow, because Walt is absolutely a dirty fighter, and an elbow is more likely to lay somebody out if you’re close enough.

Oo, what amazing precautions you’re taking.  You actually grabbed a scarf.  And my gods, gloves.  ...work gloves?  Which I know from experience save next to no heat, what the hell, Walt.  I just... why hasn’t he closed his fucking coat??  ::screaming::  Staving off hypothermia isn’t emasculating, you KNOB.  Well at least the snowbunny actually brought a flashlight.  How forward thinking of him.  And has zipped up his coat.  Lawd.

Ew, I just agreed with Branch.  :(  How dare the writers make that happen.

And in strolls Agent Pretty von Douche to make everything just that much more annoying.  Special Agent in Charge Towson, FBI.  Burrpaderrpaderp. Myeh.  

Such special, very agent, much in charge, wow.  >insert doge meme here, lol<

“Whose in charge in his absence?”  Hmmmmmmm.  They ended the shot on Vic, and the look on her face is just... prophetic for how I figure she handles being in charge when Walt abruptly decides to fuck off into the wilderness for the Treasure Hunt portion of his Manly Midlife Crisis, before they can have an election.  Lol.  Womp womp.

Dang, spit strings dangling from your stubble is... uh, a look.  >.>  Did you know that your nose is one of the first parts of you that tends to get frostbite?  And that we know you have a scarf?  (Yelling at Walt is my new hobby.  It’s not a good hobby, but it is mine.)

HI HENRY.  Great, you’re at the hallucinating part of the fieldtrip.  Not that I’m complaining, because even your imaginary Henry is more sensible that you will generally let yourself be.  (Also, he’s pretty, and I am very shallow.)

Yeeee, one of the only poems that I actually have memorized.  Lovely Robert Frost.  Though Robert Burns would also be quite apt.  And miles to go before I sleep and all.  

“The cavalry has arrived.”  Henry is so fucking droll.  I can just imagine the little kernel of muted glee he has at the irony of using that phrase.  I adore him.  “We ate,” says von Douche.  Honey.  Booboo.  

Fuck off, von Douche.  He’s so In Charge.   Burrpaderrpaderp, pthb.  “Any request for activities will go through me.”  That’s so cute.  And Henry’s look would kill you at a thousand paces.  

It does annoy me that Vic keeps calling him Walt when talking about him with the fibbies.  Like, we get it, you’re real close with your boss, but you might get more traction with them by reinforcing the fact that he’s a fellow law enforcement officer and the head of your department by calling him the Sheriff rather than broadcasting how unprofessional you both are.  

Bless Ferg for actually speaking up, though.  Branch just falls in line without a peep (though if I remember, he’s plotting his own little insurrection.)  And Henry is just quietly in the background, gathering data and being invisible as he decides to be.

“I don’t like your tone.”  Well I don’t like you FACE.  That’s actually a lie, it’s a very nice face.  But you’re just such a douchecanoe.

For all that Branch is a rusty wingnut, he does occasionally have decent observational skills.  And he is less emotionally riled, so he sees that Henry is planning something while Vic is too busy fuming.  I’m wondering how that lands with Ferg/why he doesn’t notice, and I think he’s still just isn’t very good at thinking out of the box yet.  Or seeing stuff that’s out of the box.  He definitely gets better about it as time goes on, but it’s an interesting thing to think about as far as his character development.  He’s focused on what he can think of to help, and isn’t expanding that to see thinking about what others might be able to do to help, which Branch does, but Vic doesn’t.  

The gunshots in the cabin and the lever action rifle and all are taking me straight to the beginning of Red Dead2.  Sadie, is that you?  Nope, it’s Omar, aaaaahahaha, I forgot he was in this.

I love that Henry keeps his saddle at home/the bar.  I don’t know why I’m surprised, though.  Maybe figured that he’d keep it where the horses are stabled, I guess.  But I can imagine him keeping it close in case, and cleaning the tack and oiling the saddle as a way to unwind after a hard day or something.

Heeeeehehehe, the look on Henry’s face when he leans in to Branch and goes, “...supporting the FBI.”  Such a beautiful way of expressing how very little he thinks of Branch without ever having to say it.  “Right now, I am the sheriff.”  You are so deeply obnoxious.  And do not play nice with others.

And here’s Walt with his circumstantial evidence, laying out his assumptions, and being right, which is all good and such now, but he is so in the habit of doing this shit and being right that he cannot accept when he isn’t right about things.

Well at least Omar has his place stocked for the weather.  I know I fall farther on the ‘over prepare’ end of the spectrum, but Walt not having better gloves in his truck in the dead of winter makes me roll my eyes so dang hard.

This hallucination of Fales is a fascinating bit of character study both for Walt and for Fales.  Walt’s subconscious effectively calling him out for his suicidal tendencies with not there Fales asking him, “Are you looking to get yourself killed?” is more honesty than it seems like Walt tends to allow himself.

ASAC Hall is actually better at dealing with people like a human, but von Douche isn’t actually wrong.  Vic is understandably pissed by the withheld information, but she does stomp around like a bull in a china shop and pretty much never stops to think.  Maybe they all would have gotten farther if von Douche or Hall had asked the night before if the locals had other options, but unlikely.  

I FORGOT SHE PUNCHED HIM.  The look on Hall’s face was priceless.

Eeeeeee, I do love that Walt left a trail, knowing that Henry would be coming after him.  Branch’s comments to Henry show that while he can observe people and sometime predict how they’re going to act, he can’t really understand why they’re doing it, if it’s beyond his own lens of experiences (which are pretty fucked up).  Whether it’s cynicism or just stunted empathy, conceiving of someone’s motivations being selflessly altruistic are just beyond his ken.  That’s pretty sad, honestly, and makes me hate Barlow even more.  Everything in Branch’s life has been transactional, calculated.

Oh, and now he pulls something up over his mouth.  Ok.  Great, into the water.

I fucking love Ferg.  His gleeful awe over Vic hitting Towson literally made me press my hands to my face, giggling.  And he’s such a good friend.  And she’s such a pill.  I get that she’s feeling guilty and hurting, but it takes no effort not to take it out on Ferg.  How easy would it have been to say, “Somebody has to keep working on finding them.  Go back inside, Ferg,” instead of “You have to get out of here,” and just running him off like a jerk.

Cady having cut off contact with Walt gives me life.  AND THEN his shitty self-protecting LYING brain comforts him by having her say, “You were only trying to protect me, Dad, I get that,” because that’s what he keeps telling himself to excuse taking her agency away and lying to her for at least a year, and continuing to manipulate her!  GAAAAAH!  “I can’t lose you...”  THEN CHECK YOUR DAMN SELF, DISASTER BOI.

I’m not sure if hallucination!Theo telling him that there was nothing he could do is a sign of a healthy recognition of that, or the same kind of lying to himself because it’s what he wants to hear that he’s done with Cady?  The “...but I knew someone was coming to help me,” rather smacks of the latter, since earlier in the ep Walt says that that’s what he would want to know if he were held hostage.

I have decided (with my shippy goggles firmly in place, if not molecularly fused to my face) that him doubting that Henry is coming to help him is what makes him realize that he’s getting hypothermia.  Because the idea that Henry wouldn’t be coming to get him is so utterly ridiculous that clearly his brain is on the fritz.

The fact that the phone works after his dunking is also a minor miracle.  I know I said earlier that Walt is a dirty fighter, but oof, he’s the one who just took a dick shot.  I mean, that’s one way to use a cell phone.

Again, not super sure what it says about Walt for him to imagine Theo watch him in the process of killing Durrel.  Poor Henry.  That whole mess would have been incredibly stressful.  Your jackass boyfriend is way high maintenance in rather spectacular ways.

[conchabae]

Greta Thunberg and Friday’s 4 Future

"I don't care about being popular. I care about climate justice."

This statement by Greta Thunberg is very powerful. Every generation has had youth that to some extent like the idea of and strive for success, fame and power, but these aspirations have been warped and are all too important amongst our younger generations today. This is directly linked to the nature of internet culture and social media which profits and promotes extreme beauty ideals, materialistic possessions and expressions of grandeur alongside a fixation on followers, likes and the analytics of online “popularity”. Yet, we still have cultural norms that view the youngest in society as the progressives, those who are responsible for shifting and building a better tomorrow. Many Western teens today spend their free-time on beauty tutorials, fashion and other forms of entertainment. There’s beauty in that Greta Thunberg, a well-off Swedish white girl, who could turn a blind eye to injustices in the world, fights to unlearn and speak up against climate injustice. In addition, she fights to spread awareness and put pressure on global governments to make needed systemic change. Greta claims she doesn't care about being popular, because she clearly does not do this for being liked and famous, she knows that fighting for climate justice and sustainability is not popular or “trendy”, she does it because it is what she cares about, and because it is right.

It is because of her honesty and dedication, that she has moved and awaken millions of other western people. Ironically, she has become an iconic and famous figure for defending the environment. It is admirable that even with a platform which has received millions of followers, praise from celebrities, as well as invites from famous politicians, she has never given up her principles to become more likable and her message stays the same, even when it is uncomfortable to those who know they do not do enough for the earth.

I did not live in NYC last year, but there was a climate strike in Foley Square in 2019 as well as strikes all across the world. I was inspired by Greta’s movement and participated in the school strike for climate in Stockholm. It was amazing to see so many people of all different backgrounds and ages participating in the city’s center to hear climate activists and my friends and I boycotted school to support the Friday’s 4 Future campaign.

The long term dedication and commitment movements like Friday’s 4 Future and Black Lives Matter have shown for years now, have woken me up to my complacency to my reality, when it does not align with the world I want to live in. I was 13 years old when the Black Lives Matter hashtag and conversation started. I was 18 when Greta Thunberg started striking for the climate. I realize now that it is not only the people we see highlighted in the news who can make important change, it is all of us. Greta Thunberg’s book No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference, really was a wakeup call on how climate change, which is inevitable with our current ways, is a crisis and an urgent issue that can only be resolved by facing it head on.

 Photos from the Stockholm strike taken by: Lotta Fernvall / AFTONBLADET

These are a selection of a few photos taken at the global Climate Strike in 2019, but these are all taken in front of the Swedish parliament, where the movement began. It is surreal how people in the thousands came to join her on this historical global strike in her home country and all over the world, when she started striking all by herself at this exact spot. Greta Thunberg has been the catalyst for heightened awareness and care about climate justice.

I think many people, including Greta Thunberg herself in the trailer for her Hulu documentary, attribute her hyper focus on the reality and danger of climate change to her having Asperger’s syndrome. While a common symptom of Asperger’s syndrome is to have an “obsessive” interest in a particular subject, I do think we should not dismiss her drive, passion and heart in climate justice just to her condition. Greta’s ability to push against her discomfort with social networking, to perform speeches in front of millions, and exchange awkward pleasantries with powerful public figures to access their platform, shows huge amounts of bravery and heart. It is a character strength that she has tunnel vision on the science of climate change and carbon emissions, and this helps her continue to educate herself on the topic. This is something that many of us locals do not show interest in, especially since most of the information is clouded in complicated and exclusionary scientific language, often in lengthy journals.

She does not just care about the environment for the knowledge, she wants to save the world, and save future generation’s right to fulfilling and happy lives. I have so much respect for her and trust in her intentions, and as Greta has said herself, she does not struggle with Asperger’s, she has it. Her journey to activism and contributions to the world should not be pigeon holed or minimized by her condition.

The COVID-19 pandemic, which has forced us all to experience a different state than our regular normal, has made it more clear than ever, that many of our customs and way of life are not sustainable. As the prevalence of police brutality and other systems of oppression are harder to ignore, I think we all are becoming more aware of daily injustices. In the first months of quarantine in Europe, reports were showing photographic evidence that wildlife and ecosystems were improving and thriving because of the reduced human activity that used to scare away wildlife and pollute ecosystems. The visual that is etched into my mind are the rivers in Venice, Italy. Because of the mandatory quarantine, no boats or gondolas were in use, and the rivers all over the water city cleared to a vibrant blue. It took me back to a trip there when I was 12, and how the waters were so green and muddy we joked that falling in would be a health risk. It was somewhat bittersweet to see this imagery, as it was beauty that was rare to see, and that it is rare because of us!

Photos taken of clear water in Italy, taken by @ikaveri on Twitter. 

In this same pandemic, we have also seen the red and orange skies of LA, filled with clouds and rainfalls of ash. This was heartbreaking for the world to witness, as we learned it was the cause of not some dreamy sunset or blood sun, but because of the massive forest wild fires that have devastated families and communities by burning down homes and making the air unbreathable in some places.

Photo credit: Brittany Hosea-Small / AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES

Photo by Josh Edelson / AFP VIA Getty Images

There is no quick fix for the climate and like all social issues, we need to be committed and address it from various angles. We need to vote in political representatives that acknowledge climate change as fact, which unfortunately is the first crucial step we must take unlike other democracies with the same quality of education and science. We need to then protest and put as much pressure as possible on local, state and national politics to enact policies that lead to reduced emissions. We must reduce the amount of influence and investments fossil fuel corporations receive from taxpayers, and invest federally into sustainable alternatives. Unfortunately, most Americans do not even realize how much their lifestyle destroys their land but also the global climate temperature. We need to create a social shift in attitudes around consumption in all forms and this starts with widespread education, so perhaps media and specifically social media is the strongest and quickest way to do this.

“If a few girls can get headlines all over the world just by not going to school for a few weeks, imagine what we could do together if we wanted to.”

I think this quote by Greta emphasizes the power of the people being unified and organized. When we are organized is when we are truly unstoppable and cannot be ignored by the appointed leaders that be. We outnumber them all. We need to organize and stay focused to make real and much needed change.

“Adults keep saying - We owe it to the young people to give them hope - but I don’t want your hope.

I don’t want you to be hopeful.

I want you to panic.”

- Greta Thunberg in her Our House is On Fire speech.

I think the discussion around Greta Thunberg and her activism is interesting and there are three camps with different receptions of her in online discourse. I think the first camp were responsible for her becoming a household name globally. People who felt overwhelmed about climate change, had made some attempts at doing their part, like only riding public transport and going vegan. The first camp mainly consists of the younger generations that were somewhat aware but overwhelmed with the amount of structural issues that contribute to climate change. They were the force that joined Greta at her strikes in Stockholm outside Swedish parliament, and the ones who organized strikes in their own home countries. The second camp, were those like me, who found out about her a bit later when a strong media buzz was already present and notably by media that did not intend to further her purpose and emphasize the importance of climate justice, but just used her for novelty, headlines and clickbait instead. Many marginalized people questioned some of Greta’s viral rhetoric that often spoke of her being “stolen of her childhood and dreams'' as we saw a European, well-off white girl, who was being invited to speak to the most influential politicians, embraced by Hollywood A-listers and was also being honored at protests around the globe for her strikes. What could she possibly know about struggle? We respected her passion for climate change, but convinced ourselves that she needs to scold politicians and those who actually hold power for change, so we carried on with our lives and continued to live in comfortable denial. The third camp consisted of active climate change deniers, and conservatives who weaponized her Asperger's and the fact that she was a young woman (can’t forget to add ageism and misogyny to edgy memes eh?) and aimed to assassinate her character and validity in the form of “jokes” and memes. The third camp often brought up her privilege not only as a critique, but as a means to silence her and the topic altogether. Many influential right-wing politicians, including Donald Trump, partook in this to distance their followers from having any interest in her, or climate justice.

“Greta Thunberg is the spark but we are the wildfire.” - Naomi Klein

As I mentioned earlier, Greta Thunberg’s book has taken away my criticisms of her global status. She has brilliant values, an in-depth scientific understanding of the subject she advocates for, and her emphasis on climate equity, which many white activists fail to acknowledge as an important factor, all made me a supporter of Greta. I do not care about the trolls and those who have tried to ridicule and minimize the honor in her life mission. She is probably one of the most inspiring individuals and change makers of my time. Her book and speeches have amazing rhetoric that unprogrammed a lot of my own learned helplessness about the environment. It also reminded me of my individual responsibility as well as my government's responsibility to stop global warming from happening and create a sustainable world. We need to put in the work, we only have so much time left before it is too late, whether we like that fact or not. Her stance that climate change is black and white is so effective and true: “either we reduce global emissions by 50%, or we do not.” It really is that simple. We need to activate so we can enact the needed solutions to meet that goal. Reading Thunberg’s book has inspired me to take more action and make more sustainable choices and unlearn a lot of U.S. consumerism culture. I have educated myself more throughout quarantine by learning about zero waste methods and the environmental benefits of veganism. However, while personal accountability is great, it is a form of privilege to be able to buy more sustainably, especially when the current market place mainly offers unsustainable products as the most affordable. We must also learn how to politically fight for actual policies and political change that force systemic and societal change .

“We have a new wave of contention in society that’s being led by women. … And the youth climate movement is leading this generational shift."

- Dana Fisher

In late 2019, The Washington Post conducted a poll that found that 46% of teen girls said the climate was “extremely important”, while only 23 % of teen boys said so. Furthermore, more than twice as many black and Hispanic teens participated in school strikes on climate change than their white peers, and girls were more likely to participate than boys. This data is one of several including Dana Fisher’s, a sociologist and researcher at the University of Maryland, who found similar ratios when studying the populations of activists and participants in the Washington, DC 2019 climate strike.

I think the ratio of who shows up for the environment points to social roles at large. The likelihood of caring about climate change can do with one’s privilege and ability to empathize with abstract or foreign problems that one may not be negatively affected with (right now). While we all hold some form of privilege, all women have experienced some form of sexism and misogyny, and therefore are more likely to be able to empathize with marginalized groups they do not belong to, and advocate for social movements that address injustices they may not themselves experience.

There is a correlation between those most marginalized in society, being the most active in social reform and revolution. Because when one is in the lowest or lower social casts of society, and has the least social freedoms and privileges, one has nothing to lose and everything to gain from change. This is why we can see in many social justice movements across the US, that black queer people and specifically black trans women, have consistently been at the forefront for important social progress.

When it comes to climate change, there is a certain amount of empathy required, especially when you live in a western country, or part of the world where you have an excess of resources at your disposal and you are comfortable with the status quo. That is something we all need to address and with that comes a checking of ego. Is my temporary happiness more important than other people’s well-being and lives? Am I contributing to the exploitation of people and the destruction of the planet? My planet?

I do not often see men on a large scale extending this type of self-reflection and empathy for social problems, either in small social settings or in positions of power. This is similar to how many men do not reflect on how it feels to be catcalled or sexually harassed as a woman. This is not because men are predisposed to be heartless rather, I believe this is a cause of social conditioning. Women are more conditioned to be team players, to listen and exercise great empathy at all times, otherwise she is socially scorned. Men are not expected to show these traits to the same extent, and often can rely on this lack of social standard and their own privilege to ignore social issues all together. We need to unlearn that issues women care about are insular to “women’s issues”, for they are societal problems, and we need to encourage and expect young boys and men to be equally accountable for a better world.

It is so inspiring to see so many young teens following Greta’s initiative, like Alexandria Villaseñor, who after experiencing an asthma attack during a wildfire in California, not only took the time to educate herself on the dangers of this phenomenon, but also organized Friday’s 4 Future strikes in NYC with the US Climate Strike group. Since then, she has also spoken at countless international conventions about climate change, and alongside Thunberg and 15 other youth activists, filed a legal complaint against UN nations who had not upheld their Paris agreement climate goals. This is so badass and I did not even know about this until today. In fact, there are countless teens all over the world, many of whom aren’t of legal voting age, who are suing local / federal governments and organizations for environmental malpractice and for jeopardizing their futures! 

As they should! Let’s all keep fighting for a better and sustainable future.

Students and youth striking in Seoul, South Korea. Photo credit: Chung Sung-Jun / GETTY IMAGES

Young people striking in Edinburgh, Scotland. Photo credit: Jeff J Mitchell / GETTY IMAGES

Youth striking in Hong Kong. Photo credit: Kim Cheung / AP PHOTO

[janiedean]

Now I want to hear the Stannis rant (when you have time)!!

hahahah have fun XD okay so for context, the tags I mentioned the aforementioned rant in:

#one day i’ll rant at lenght about how dnd never got stannis#bc they cannot conceive that a dude with THAT kinda moral compass is a complete disaster when it comes to interpersonal relationships#nor that half of the issues stannis has are bc he’s literally starving for people to see he has worth#while slaving for them anyway and being more competent than anyone else that passes before him#but this is not the day i guess

now: this is... a thing that I honestly struggle with when it comes to this fandom because the side that hates stannis thinks he’s a selfish arrogant asshole without feelings and the side that loves him is like ‘omg such a great battle commander GO RIGHTFUL KING HE’S SO BADASS’ and I feel like neither is an accurate reading because the first sees the character at mere face value (and most likely skipped the davos chapters) and the second only cares about his so-called badassness, but... thing is: stannis is an extremely competent person who’s also a disaster at relationships because he feels like no one cares for him (which isn’t exactly untrue as I’ll rant about later) who in turn everyone judges as uncaring and unfeeling when he actually isn’t and who in turn compulsively pursues what he can pursue because he has to compensate and who on the other side is absolutely starved for recognition except that he doesn’t get it.

and like... at this point I have to lay down the premises in the sense that while I really wish I didn’t, I... kind of really do relate a lot to that aspect - people assuming you’re cold/aloof because you aren’t immediately excited about things or don’t wear feelings on your sleeve - and tbh I really really love that grrm made a character who has the Good At Battles And So On reputation... a complete interpersonal rships disaster, because it actually gives him a whole new layer that I don’t see really discussed often and since that’s what I relate to... it’s sad. for me personally at least.

anyway, thing is:

the fact that stannis was the unloved baratheon brother is the exact first thing you learn from the acok prologue - I mean, ‘Stannis, my lord, my sad sullen boy, son I never had, you must not do this, don't you know how I have cared for you, lived for you, loved you despite all? Yes, loved you, better than Robert even, or Renly, for you were the one unloved, the one who needed me most.’ like, it’s the first thing the narrative throws at you in the face the moment that he does something that already puts him on the reader’s bad side ie dismissing poor cressen, but it’s basically the key to the entire damned point;

because first of all it implies stannis (who’s the middle child out of those three) felt like both his brothers didn’t love him and with their parents dying the way they did that goes too, and if we take into account the proudwing episode - he saves the damned hawk, he’s all happy he got it back to fly, robert mocks him for it and his uncle convinces him to let it die - it’s basically the metaphor for his life because whatever he does, the people who should notice don’t care;

this actually should be discussed along with the whole siege of storm’s end because like... stannis held out by almost starving himself and his men (but renly never mentions it whenever he speaks so I should suppose he doesn’t remember it as an extremely traumatic event when he was in the castle, so stannis made sure he actually had enough food to not starve most likely when no one else did) for robert and if he hadn’t done that when he was barely twenty if not nineteen they’d have lost the rebellion, which you’d think would give him nice things, right? no, because robert gives him dragonstone which stannis sees as a slight, he feels like robert loves ned more than him and he’s p. resentful about it, renly basically bypasses him when it’s time to claim the throne with the amazing explanation that ‘he’s not amusing and people wouldn’t like him’ when that’s not how succession works and he doesn’t seem to get one inch of appreciation by his relatives that he almost died for;

now he has that compulsive thing when it comes to laws and sticking to justice.... considering that he feels like all of his entire family wronged him since he was a teenager (and like, i’m obv. not blaming robert for not having been the best bc he also had trauma bc their parents died I mean we have issues but I get it) and like both his brothers feel like others (ned, loras/the tyrells) are more their family than him and/or that they don’t care for him because he’s sour/not immediately expansive/etc... are we surprised that he has that much of a problem with the concept of compulsively following justice/the rules? considering that when it comes to that it’s written black on white and fairness is objective, obviously he’s a sucker for the rules and he feels that strongly about his birthright - that’s because he feels like he can only trust in objective ruling that everyone should follow rather than people;

this is where I go personal, but... a thing that’s extremely common if you tend to be shy/not immediately an extrovert/if it takes you time to get to know people/if you aren’t a funny person automatically is that people start to assume you don’t have feelings or you don’t care about others, which in turn means that you tend to become even worse because the moment you open up you’re terrified that the other person will hate you, and that’s... peak stannis because the way he’s when the books start is out of all of that plus having married someone out of obligation for robert and getting humiliated on the same wedding night plus having just one daughter everyone sees as defective and that renly openly mocked at some point too but never mind that, and like... another thing with stannis that people don’t really notice is that while he’s crap at expressing his love for his daughter because he’s shit at feelings and relationships, he also loves her really fucking much and as someone else pointed out he didn’t educate her to marry into some other family, he educated her to be his heir and with davos’s male sons and so on, like he didn’t give her just a lady’s education, he gave her a full-on heir education, which outside dorne is unheard of, and in his last adwd chapter as much as dnd didn’t read it... he told people to put her on the throne if he died and to fight for her same as they would have for him. like, it’s obvious that he does love her, he’s just complete crap at showing it... same as he is in general because he doesn’t feel like he can be open about his feelings with people and because he pretty much has no fucking clue of how it works, which is... well... what happens when you grow up with that kind of emotional stuntedness;

that is, unless he’s talking to davos, which is what I’d really fucking like for people to realize. like, never mind the show, but when book!stannis talks to davos he immediately goes from 100% completely closed off to being all soft and as affectionate as it goes and I mean guys... just a couple quotes but:“He seemed ten years older than the man that Davos had left at Storm's End when he set sail for the Blackwater and the battle that would be their undoing. The king's close-cropped beard was spiderwebbed with grey hairs, and he had dropped two stone or more of weight. He had never been a fleshy man, but now the bones moved beneath his skin like spears, fighting to cut free. Even his crown seemed too large for his head. His eyes were blue pits lost in deep hollows, and the shape of a skull could be seen beneath his face. Yet when he saw Davos, a faint smile brushed his lips. "So the sea has returned me my knight of the fish and onions.""It did, Your Grace." Does he know that he had me in his dungeon? Davos went to one knee.”-"I am lowborn," Davos reminded him. "An upjumped smuggler. Your lords will never obey me.""Then we will make new lords.""But . . . I cannot read . . . nor write . . .""Maester Pylos can read for you. As to writing, my last Hand wrote the head off his shoulders. All I ask of you are the things you've always given me. Honesty. Loyalty. Service.""Surely there is someone better . . . some great lord . . ."Stannis snorted. [...] but I trust none of them as I trust you, my lord of Rainwood. You will be my Hand. It is you I want beside me for the battle."that’s TWO, and when davos says that his lords wouldn’t want him for a hand stannis goes like you’re more important than them to me pretty much, and in general the moment they’re alone together he’s way more open and vulnerable and sincere than he is when literally anyone else... that is because davos is the literal one person that not only is his actual friend (bc he doesn’t really have any other friends not even between his relatives), but also someone who:a) actually thinks the world of him;b) hasn’t batted an eyelid at his sense of justice I mean guys let’s be real he cut off davos’s fingertips bc he was a criminal at the same time as giving him a lordship after davos saved his life and everyone else’s and davos has the bones with him always because he thinks they’re his luck I mean k that’s extra but he actually does see stannis’s point when it comes to fairness;c) hasn’t disappointed him once;d) has only ever acted in his best interest;e) is the kind of person who’ll call him out on his bs rather than kiss his ass for honors and to someone who has stannis’s issues knowing that that kinda person exists means a whole damned lot;f) doesn’t think he’s there just to run the show without getting thankfed for it nor takes him for granted nor doesn’t recognize his efforts, which is 99,9% of his remaining issues with everyone else - ie that he does his job and does it well but no one recognizes it and everyone else passes in front of himg) sees his worth, which is a thing stannis is literally starved for but doesn’t get from many others period;which means he has one healthy relationship with someone bar maybe his daughter. one. that’s... not really that great or good whatsoever;

I mean there’s a reason why stannis wants that throne so bad. not that he cares about it, but that’s his right, so anyone else getting it would be the umpteenth time in his eyes that someone cheats him off something that’s rightfully is (storm’s end, his brothers’s love/affection/support etc); 

like, it’s not about how stannis is such a great badass fighter strategist, it’s that he wants the throne that badly because not getting it would be just the last straw in the list of slights he feels that he’s been at the end of for his entire life and one more humiliating than any of those others, because otherwise he wouldn’t give a damn;

and like... what I think dnd missed and a lot of people also do is that the ‘great commander who wins fights’ doesn’t mean he also can’t be a guy with extremely bad issues when it comes to interpersonal rships thanks to trauma and to the almost entirety of people around him writing him off as the not fun boring guy who only cares about laws when the only reason stannis cares that much about what’s fair and what’s not is that he feels like everyone else has been unfair to him.

and like....... recognizing that would require admitting that stannis is the farthest thing in these books from a badass conqueror guy who wins battles and wants to be king and will be an equally badass king - he’s an extremely competent guy who became competent at his job out of sheer stubborness and perfection complex who is everything but an emotionless machine (regardless of what people who should know better ie his brothers might think) and who has been disappointed so much in this sense that he can only have a healthy relationship with one single person who is not so coincidentally someone who saved his life, didn’t see anything wrong in his strike for justice, recognizes his worth and would die for him, which... is really not anyone else’s case in his immediate vicinities (not counting his soldiers and so on but that’s another problem entirely). that requires admitting that westeros crap toxic societal standards have hurt him too and that he has a second side that’s not really so cool (guys being emotionally stunted is not fun, I’ll 100% guarantee it to you, and people assuming you’re cold or emotionless because you can’t immediately open up to them is even worse) and that if you want to project greatness on him you should also embrace the fact that he’s a complete human disaster who is as starved for recognition/appreciation as jon is and there’s probably a reason why they were getting along so well in adwd.

and like, I think the fanbase who hails him as the new coming of jesus doesn’t recognize that because it interferes with the fearless conqueror dude fantasy - which is his superficial reading, not his actual reading, same as people deciding he’s emotionless just out of superficial reading, while dnd obviously didn’t know how to write him since S3 because they couldn’t decide what to do with him... but obviously, because dnd have no idea of how to write a male character who is both a strong military commander and an emotional disaster who wants recognition for his own worth and isn’t a power hungry asshole. nvm that dnd have no idea of how to write emotionally vulnerable male characters (see what they did with jaime tyrion theon and sandor and that’s not even counting jon or robb) but stannis was obv. too complicated for them to even consider actually trying for real.

/two cents

[allimariexf]

arrow 8x04 sneak peek reaction

so of course we have all seen these clips, right? 

8x04 FTA meets OTA (plus Dinah and Rene are there)

8x04 Oliver and William father/son chat (embedded in the article)

well I HAVE SOME EMOTIONS THAT I NEED TO GET OFF MY CHEST here ya go (beware so many spoilers also THANKS TO @puck038​ for the gifs! 😍😘). 

FTA vs OTA scene:

Oliver and William and Mia part 1

Oliver’s little step back at the beginning, right after Mia says, “Dad?” 

William’s immediate reaction to Oliver is amazing! he smiles and just goes right for the hug! 💗😭💗😭 no hesitation at all! And his face, so happy. He’s suddenly just a little boy again, a little boy who just misses his dad! 😭😭😭

and Oliver is so shocked and confused. He says “William?” but then when he is more certain, “William!?” and his arms close around his son and he’s so overcome! 

and Oliver’s soft “Hey” in that voice he always reserved for William 💔😭💗

and then William’s face as they hug! a beautiful  mix of happiness and sorrow and relief!! 💗😭💔

and then William steps back and INTRODUCES HIS SISTER TO HIS FATHER, “Mia” and I cannot believe we are having this moment!! 

and Oliver just repeats, “Mia” with disbelief and his heart in his throat (can you believe!?!?)

John and Connor etc.

Connor calling John “dad” and expecting that emotional response from him, but all John does is look at him suspiciously ughhh my heart hurts!! 😭

John’s “What is this. How did they get here” ughhh I am not used to John being so emotionally closed off 😩

and Connor is just crushed at that reaction!

Rene all “last time I checked you didn’t have an adult daughter, or any daughter” and Dinah like “How? I didn’t even know she was pregnant.” THAT’S BECAUSE IT WAS NEED TO KNOW AND YOU BITCHES DID NOT NEED TO KNOW 🤷‍♀️ 😂

Oliver and Mia (and Felicity!) and William

Oliver: “THOSE ARE MY KIDS!” with such love and pride and disbelief and hope!!! 

HIS FACE I JUST ----

and Mia and William’s two different reactions to him CLAIMING THEM AS HIS CHILDREN: 

William is just overjoyed to have his father say it! 😭 

and Mia just trembles, absolutely shocked to hear those words coming from his mouth! 😭

and then Oliver steps toward her, “Are you okay?” and she steps back, and it’s SO MUCH LIKE season 1 Felicity asking season 1 Oliver if he’s okay (”You said you were going to pull your punches” - 1x22) - the emotional walls!! 😭

AND THEN (honestly this might be my favorite part) OLIVER TALKING ABOUT HIM AND FELICITY AND MIA!!!!!!!!!

“We had a daughter!” will forever be a thing that Oliver said, in that voice, WITH THAT FACE 💗😭💔😩🙌💗😭

and no I am not okay! 😭😭😭

��and we named her Mia. Felicity gave birth a few months after we left Star City. We didn’t tell anyone. We wanted to keep her off grid to protect her.”

I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT. Because Mia is hearing this! She is hearing her father talk about her FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE. 

Mia’s whole life, Oliver was just a larger-than-life MYTH. Felicity was just Mia’s mom. It was just the two of them, and the lives of her parents before she was born was just A MYTH. So vastly different from the life she lived, where it was just her and her mom, where Felicity was just her mom - whose whole life centered around her and her company - and the two of them lived sequestered from everyone and everything.

(look I always thought the writers did us wrong by not foregrounding Mia’s ridiculously over-dramatic response to learning that Felicity was still helping the vigilante cause, but seeing this, I can almost imagine how it must have felt for her. She thought her mom belonged her her and her alone, so to learn that all along Felicity was participating in something larger, something more, something she had kept from Mia...it must have hurt.)

(anyway back to my point) JUST IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE FOR HER to finally hear it FROM HER FATHER. To have him staring at her and talking to her and about her. THE MAN, NOT THE MYTH. I honestly cannot even I’m so fucked up over this. 

and then of course the way Oliver looks at Mia, in her fucked up state, when he says “to protect her” because obviously that plan failed! 😭

William: "Look at this place....it's new! And them. No grey hair. No wrinkles." LMAO thank goodness that William got the comedic relief from Felicity 😂

but then - "And we are staring at our dad. Alive. Instead of at his tombstone.” OH GOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oliver and William father/son chat

I have fewer reactions here in words because it was mostly just crying

first off: THE APARTMENT because it’s the summer after they went into hiding and all their stuff is still there because they had to have someone else pack it because they escaped to hiding with only duffle bags 😭😭  (a scene I saw them film I might add 😂)

and (as @puck038​ pointed out) THE PICTURE ON THE COFFEE TABLE is the Oliver and Felicity summer of 3.5 one that had previously been seen on a shelf in that apartment! 😭💗🙌

and just ALL THE EMOTIONS Oliver as a PROUD DAD!

and when William comes out, he’s still so nervous, like a little boy again...and as Ben said in the article (such an amazing article btw): "he might feel like his dad died without really knowing him" which absolutely BREAKS MY HEART that William went all those years feeling that way...

ONLY FOR IT NOT TO BE TRUE BECAUSE OLIVER SAYS “Yeah buddy, I know.” 😭😭😭 WITH THAT SMILE ON HIS FACE, SUCH A PROUD DAD 😭💗😭💗

“Felicity and I knew. And we just, uh...well we hoped that you were going to come out to us when you were comfortable.”

I CANNOT EVEN BREATHE RIGHT NOW

it has always been my headcanon that Oliver and Felicity knew, and it’s so good to have it acknowledged in canon!! 🙌😭💗🙌😭💗

and Oliver’s emotions MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD

“We clearly didn’t get that chance, and that’s on me. I’m sorry.” SO MUCH IS SAID HERE! HIS SORROW AND REGRET AND ANGST OVER WILLIAM OH GOD

but ohhhhh William is so forgiving, he’s just happy to get to be with his dad now!! 💗😭💗😭

and then they so easily switch into joking, they have such an amazing rapport: “Shocker. Where’d she get that from?”/ “Mom, I guess?” OH MY GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!

Oliver’s FACE IS SO HAPPY WHEN THEY ARE LAUGHING. THIS IS EVERYTHING TO HIM TO HAVE THIS WITH HIS SON! 😭😭😭

all of his unresolved William related angst....dissolving into a beautiful moment of honesty with his son!! THIS IS EVERYTHING!

So in conclusion:

part of me is hoping that that means the entire episode is equally amazing?? but even if it's not, I don't care. These clips are more than enough

these two scenes include more/better content than like 3/4 of season 6 and 7 combined

like I want to approach all the people in my life I've tried to get to watch Arrow over the years and force them to watch that scene and be like SEE WHAT YOU ARE MISSING!?

and finally, EVERYONE READ THAT ARTICLE with the interview with Ben Lewis. Includes such gems as:

"Like Felicity before him, William really shows that there’s more than one way to be a hero."

and the interviewer asks: "How long should we expect his crew to stick around?”

and Ben says: “I can’t say an exact amount of time or how many episodes, but it’s enough to make a really dramatic impact on everyone involved." 💗💗💗💗

[toku-explained]

The Swordsmen's Bonds

Z: It has been three days since the formal dissolution of STORAGE. The good news is it looks like not everyone was fired, as Haruki is training in a GAFJ dojo, as Yoko calls we're informed that the team has been out on leave until further notice. The restructuring is under way at the 1st SAA Group HQ, which as we see with Hebikura, has formally replaced STORAGE. Nice seen with Haruki and Yoko, before Hebikura sneaks into SAA as a Pizza delivery man, so good to GAFJ security is as bad as ever, and he sees the robot Yuki Mai is working on developing, with the intent to replicate Ultraman's beams to contain the damage from D4. It is a reasonable plan in all honesty, because there may be situations where the use of D4 is seriously the only option. Yuka is working with the GAFJ public relations team, with Sevengar in site, various goods are being sold, Bako-san is also there in a similar role, but is also doing maintenance on Sevengar, so at least they're letting him do something he's suited for. A 3rd Barossa Seijin appears, but is actually older than the 2nd, Bako shows some skills. Juggler surprisingly stops Z winning at ground level, allowing Barossa to grow giant. Z grows giant to fight it, and Bako lends Sevengar to Yoko. Z and Sevengar are doing fine until SAA sends King Joe in. The guy they have piloting does an awful job, missing with about half the Pedanium Missiles when Yoko has never missed to my memory. Juggler decides to join as Tri-King, knocking Sevengar down and distracting Z, this battle is really showing how important the pilot's skill is to this, as Barossa is constantly showing up King Joe while Sevengar does significantly better despite being a literal museum piece. When Z prepares the Zestium Ray against Tri-King Juggler grabs King Joe and pushes it in the way of the beam, allowing Yuki Mai to get the data she wants, which will allow completion of Ultroid Zero, the pilot ejects. Juggler upgrades to Five King, forcing Z to use Delta Rise Claw. Beliarok refuses to play as soon as he hears they already beat it, but they still do pretty good, while Yoko, still fighting Barossa, as Sevengar starts to take damage, spots Beliarok and manages to goad him into helping her. With Sevengar's legs damaged Yoko puts herself on the Leg Carrier and has Yuka use Core Ship to control it, allowing her to make the finisher. Z uses Gamma Future to overload Gan-Q's energy absorption, then uses Ginga, X and Orb to activate the Galaxy Burst finisher. In the aftermath a certain someone retrieves at least the Tri-King medals. Some of the old maintenance team, due to personal circumstances, have decided to stay on with 1st SAAG, but Bako-san and others aren't, he doesn't hold it against them, telling them to take care of his robots. Hebikura arrives and we here Haruki has been assigned to security and Yuka to Kaiju Research, while Yoko has been shortlisted to pilot Ultroid Zero by Yuki Mai. Hebikura gives some parting advice to Haruki, claims his bonsai and leaves.

The Absolute Conspiracy: Great and Powered begin Ribut's training, Nd explain the Gudis cells will continue to grow if even one survives, and if the growing Maga-Orochi consumes those it will swiftly grow into Magata-no-Orochi and devour Planet Mikarito. Elsewhere Leucocyte is brought down on Planet Feed by 80, accompanied by Neos and Seven 21 (both have new VAs), Neos is part of the Elite Task Force and Seven 21 is part of the Galactic Security Agency, this fight showcases those 2 until Absolute Tartarus arrives accompanied by the last Reiyonix, Reibatos. This is again before Reibatos one previous appearance, based on the state of Planet Kanon, Reibatos summons Gymaira for Tartarus, which challenges 80. Hikari and Sora continue their work as Max's body starts to mutate. Ribut taps into his inner power and overcomes Great and Powered, who then grant him the power of the Ribut Blocker and the Spreader Rod. While Neos and Seven 21 struggle with Leucocyte, Gymaira is defeating 80 until 2 warriors from another universe arrive, Cosmos (original actor) in Space Corona Mode and Justice (new VA, though implicitly still Julie?) in Standard Mode. As 80 references Saga this is evidently later than I thought, but for Cosmos it is still before his last appearance in The Origin Saga. Justice mentions the Universal Justice Delacion, who he served in The Final Battle in attempting to destroy mankind, before turning on them, but apparently Delacion respected the Ultras decision and Justice is still affiliated with them. The pair make a quick attack on Leucocyte before switching to Cosmos Future Mode and Justice Crusher Mode, all of these forms haven't been seen since the Final Battle, as they fight 80 defeats Gymaira. Sora present Ribut with the Gudis antibodies. As the 5 Ultras battle Leucocyte they see Zoffy's Ultra Sign stating Ribut's team is preparing to save Max. Ribut, Great and Powered arrive at Mikarito, to find Max losing control, but Ribut swears to save him.

Saber: I was wrong about Tassel's guest, looks like the mysterious figure from Avalon. Everyone at Northern Base is tense after all that happened, especially with Sophia missing. So why are the Megiddo saying they only need gates opened by the six swordsmen we know, when we know there other swordsmen at Southern Base...I wonder. Caliber is likely to have already done his if they needed it. Kento is still clearly off, but I would argue it's regret now. Ogami trusts Ren to watch over him. This time, while Daishinji and Ogami enter easily, Zooous and Storious get in Saber's way. Ren discovers just before entering that Kento isn't there, he's apologising at Rintaro's bedside, apparently he, Touma and Luna made some promise in the past. He intends to deal with Kamijo, but he does seem more focused on doing it out of duty, but he doesn't look confident. Okay, so given this whole ritual already happened 15 years ago to connect the two worlds, why are Daishinji and Ogami oblivious to what's going on. Why is Kento the only one to know? He becomes Golden Alangina to face Jaou Dragon. Slash and Buster face Goblins, and another runs from Kenzan because they don't need him again. Rintaro has run off to help Kento. Of rather to take over for Touma so he can help Kento. The mention of Luna finally lows Touma to remember. Zooous and Storious leave so Rintaro is forced to open the gate. Buster, Slash and Kenzan all defeat their opponents, opening 2 gates, the book where Kenzan is just fades. Blades defeats his Megiddo. Apparently the 3 of them promised to always be together, as Touma rushes to help Kento. It's a great fight. Kamijo if you didn't expect Touma to inherit Rekka why did you leave Brave Dragon with him??? Unless you didn't mean to. And...did that just happen? Tassel is entering the story for real, with his friend.

Kiramager: The initial plan is to have Kiramazin, Gigant Driller and King Express Zabyun face and Jamenju each, and hopefully call on Grateful Phoenix as well, unfortunately Oradin reveals the situation with Garza and so he cannot come. Juru and Tametomo will try to rescue Sayo while the others fight. Great opening shot of the battle, Garza starts getting the edge in over Oradin, Juru and Tametomo make it to the seed but find Yodonna has captured Sayo. It's tense as things seem bad as Juru gives up his shot....as a beacon for Grateful Phoenix. The actual sequence is amazing, so they've taken out the plant, and now it's four mecha against the Jamenju trio and Jouki. Even with the Jamenju gone it seems nothing will stop the seed sprouting until Juru has an idea. It's always cool to see a mecha cannon finisher, they happen so rarely. This reminds me of the one from Dekaranger, I wonder if that was properly to scale with the DX toys?

[magicalmarauder]

Panic

A/N: This is my first Shawn imagine, hope everyone enjoys it! :) 

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: Y/N is dating Shawn Mendes and is home alone in their shared apartment while he is on tour and her appendix bursts. Angst and fluff ensues!

You groaned in frustration, burying your head into the pillow as you curled further into a tight ball on yours and Shawns bed, trying your best to ignore the pain that was slowly gripping you. Today had been your second day with this nasty stomach virus that had been so fiercely plaguing you. It seemed as if the constant nausea, vomiting, chills, and stomach pain would not leave and all you wanted was your boyfriend with you to help take care of you. But instead, he was on the other side of the globe being the huge rockstar that he was. Not to get you wrong, you were incredibly proud of your amazing boyfriend, but it was times like these where you really wished that he had a career that didn’t take him so far away from you and so often. It seemed like every time you turned around, he was jetting off somewhere new.

Currently, he was in London preparing to play Wembley Stadium, which was a huge accomplishment and you were so, so proud of him, but again, you couldn’t help but wish that he was here with you to make you some soup and cuddle with you until you started feeling better.

But alas, wishing it to be so wouldn’t do anything. This was your reality and you had to face it.

Before you could continue down that rabbit hole of self-despair any further, your phone began vibrating and you groaned, blindly reaching over to the bedside table and pressing accept without even looking to see who was on the other end.

“Hello?” You moaned pathetically, voice hoarse.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Shawn’s sweet voice greeted you from the other end of the line. “Still not feeling well?”

You grunted in response, the pain feeling more unbearable than it had the last day or so. Maybe you should go to the doctor? This couldn’t be normal, could it? You should be getting better not worse, right?

“Are you taking anything for the pain?” Shawn questioned in concern, the background noise fading slightly as Shawn presumably moved to a less crowded area in order to hear you more clearly.

“Yeah, I took some pain medicine about an hour or two ago,” you explained pathetically, “but it hasn’t helped at all. I’m still nauseous and throwing up and my stomach still hurts too much for me to get comfortable or really get any sleep. I tried taking a sleeping pill last night, but it didn’t really help any.” Thinking back to the past two nights made your head pound in pain and frustration. You didn’t think you had gotten more than forty-five minutes of sleep at a time and even that had been fitful.

Tears slipped down your face as all the pain and frustration finally wore you down to the point of tears. “I wish you were here with me,” you whispered softly, knowing it was a fruitless thought, but needing to get it out in the air anyway. Although you knew Shawn was needed in London right now, you also couldn’t help how you felt. And if that made you selfish, you just couldn’t find the energy to care at the moment. You were sick and miserable and all you wanted was your cuddly boyfriend.

Shawn sighed, sounding slightly irritated. “You know I can’t be there right now, Y/N. I have to work.”

From just the tone of his voice at the moment, you could clearly picture him running his hand through his hair in frustration, the circumstances of the situation affecting him more than he would like to admit. Despite the fact that Shawn was incredibly hard-working and would do anything for his fans, in his heart even he couldn’t deny that at times it was too much and wish that he could be a normal boyfriend there for his girlfriend when she needed him.

“I know, Shawn. There’s just sometimes that I wish it could be different.”

Despite the fact that Shawn had literally just been thinking the exact same thing, he found himself becoming angry with his girlfriend. “I’m sorry, baby, but this is how it is,” he stated briskly. “We both knew what we were getting into when we started dating. This shouldn’t be a surprise.”

You recoiled, surprised to hear your boyfriend using such a harsh tone with you. If you were thinking rationally, you would probably have more patience in this moment, understanding that he was just as frustrated as you were with the fact that he couldn’t be there for you at the moment. However, you were sleep-deprived, sick, and annoyed with how he had just spoken to you. So, instead of responding in patience and understanding as you should have done, you allowed all of those negative emotions to flow over you.

“Well,” you started tiredly. “Considering that I’m exhausted and feel like death, I’m going to go now. You obviously don’t even care enough. So, I’ll just talk to you later. Goodby-.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Shawn interrupted immediately, trying to catch you before you hung up the phone on him. “I’m sorry, baby. I know I shouldn’t have said that, I just wish that I could be there with you. It’s hard being so far away from you normally, but especially when you’re not feeling good and you need me there to take care of you. I just feel like the world’s worst boyfriend.” He sighed out, hoping that his honesty would earn him some points back into your good graces.

“I know, Shawn,” you sighed. “I’m sorry too. I’m just frustrated and wish you were here with me, but I understand that you’re needed there now. I think I am going to go though, I really do want to try and get some more rest.”

“Okay, sleep well, Y/N,” Shawn murmured, still not feeling right about the bizarre little argument that the two of you had somehow found yourselves in. “I hope you start feeling better soon. Please call me if anything happens.”

“I will,” you promised softly, your head still throbbing from the conversation. “Have a good show tonight.”

“Thanks, gorgeous. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay, bye.”

You placed the phone back onto the bedside table, snuggling further under the covers and hoping that sleep would claim you quickly in order to offer a bit of a reprieve from the constant pain you had been in for the past few days.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were awakened by a sharp, stabbing pain in your right side that instantly had you gasping and clutching your abdomen. Okay, you thought to yourself, this is definitely not normal. Tears slipped down your face as you wondered what you should do. You were all alone at the apartment. Your parents lived over an hour away, too far for them to come pick you up and drive you to the hospital in time. You didn’t understand what was going on with you, but you knew it was something serious that needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible.

As you pondered what to do, you remembered a conversation that you had had with Shawn’s mom not too long ago when you were discussing her son and his insane traveling schedule. If you ever need anything while Shawn’s away, don’t hesitate to give me a call, okay sweetie?

At the time, you hadn’t planned on calling with anything. You were a big girl and you could take care of yourself after all. However, this was a situation that was definitely out of your hands. Therefore, as quickly as you could you grabbed your phone, searching for the name, and dialing.

“Hello?” A voice answered on the other end of the line and you almost sobbed in relief.

“Karen?” You questioned, tears falling down your face in pain and fear. “Can I ask for a favor?”

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Shawn walked off stage after his big show with a large grin plastered across his face and sweat dripping from his brow. Wow, he thought to himself. I cannot believe I just did that! Selling out and playing Wembley Stadium had always been a dream of his, one that he could not believe had actually come true. The only thing that would make this better would be if his girlfriend could be here to share this moment with him.

He sighed, thoughts wandering to the conversation he had had with her before the show had started. He hadn’t meant to lose his temper and snap at her like he did, but he had just been so frustrated and by so many things. Yes, he loved his job and he relished these opportunities to travel and share his music with his fans, but it was so hard sometimes. And then he felt guilty for feeling that way. Like he was ungrateful or something. His fans were the reason he was able to live out his dream, travel the world, write music, meet so many other incredible artists, and so on and so on. If being away from loved ones was his price to pay, it wasn’t that immense in the grand scheme of everything. However, there were times, times like today, where that was hard to believe and if he was being truly honest with himself, where he would trade anything in the world in order to be by your side, including sacrificing his music career.

He walked further backstage, already feeling that post-show adrenaline high beginning to fade. Performing in front of thousands of people was truly a feeling like no other, one that he couldn’t even begin to put into words, even years later and well into his music career.

Walking into his dressing room, he grabbed his phone that he had left sitting haphazardly on the couch and opened it up, noticing he had three missed calls from his mom. He furrowed his brows in confusion. That was odd, he thought to himself.  His mom knew that he had a performance tonight. What if something’s wrong?His mind immediately going into a panicked state, worrying that something was wrong with his dad or with Aaliyah.

Before he could click on her contact name in order to call her back and figure out what on earth was going on, Andrew came speeding into his dressing room, a frantic expression glued to his face as his eyes landed on Shawn sitting there, confused and worried.

“Andrew?” He questioned, further descending into a state of panic, already figuring that whatever had Andrew on edge was the same thing that had caused his mom to call him multiple times despite the fact that she knew he was in the middle of a show. “What happened?” He asked, already fearing the answer.

“It’s Y/N,” Andrew choked out, eyes wide and fearful, dreading the task of delivering this news to Shawn.

Shawn felt his heart stop as he heard those two words before it kicked into overdrive, practically beating out of his chest. He tried to take a deep breath, calming himself. Okay, Shawn, just calm down, I’m sure she’s fine! I mean, she’s been at home sick all day. What possibly could have happened to her in the safety of your own home?

Thoughts and possibilities immediately rushed into his mind, his thoughts rushing to all sorts of horrible and somewhat ridiculous alternatives.

“Shawn!” Andrew yelled, pulling him out of his downward spiral. “Did you hear what I said?”

Shawn, unable to form coherent words at the moment, simply shook his head in response, anxiously awaiting his manager’s next words.

“Y/N started experiencing intense stomach pain not too long after your show started,” he began, trying to relay the information as smoothly and calmly as possible so as not to distress Shawn any more than necessary. “She called your mom, who took her to the hospital, but while they were on their way there, Y/N lost consciousness. It turns out she hadn’t had the stomach flu these past few days, but appendicitis. Her appendix burst in the car on the drive to the hospital. She’s in the operating room now, they’re doing emergency surgery as we speak.”

If Shawn wouldn’t have already been sitting, he would have fallen to the floor as he heard this news. His world completely stopped. Not you, he thought in agony. He couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. He felt like he was in shock, slightly disbelieving that this was even happening to him right now. This had to be some horrible dream that he would wake up from any second now only to find you safe and secure by his side. However, deep down he knew this wasn’t a dream that he could easily awaken from, but real life. You were truly in the hospital at that very moment, unconscious and being cut into. His hands started to shake and tears started forming in his eyes as he thought about you, all alone in your apartment, realizing that you were so sick and in so much pain that you needed to go to the emergency room. And he hadn’t been there for you.That thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He was the worst boyfriend in the entire world. That same sentiment slammed into him, causing the tears to well and truly flow down his cheeks now in an unending torrent.

He jumped up, grabbing random things around him and stuffing them in the backpack that had been thrown carelessly on the floor only a few hours earlier. “I have to go,” he mumbled distractedly, mind running a million different directions, but his one focus being consistent: you. He had to get to you. He didn’t care how, all he knew was that he had to get to you. Now. “I have to see her, she has to be okay,” he cried, slowly crumbling before Andrew’s eyes. “I need to be there with her!” He shouted.

Andrew flinched slightly, eyes widened in sympathy. “I already took care of it, Shawn. I booked you the next flight back home. You leave in two hours and there’s a car waiting outside the stadium to take you to the airport. I’ve already talked to the manager’s here about postponing your show tomorrow. Y/N’s more important right now.”

Shawn breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that Andrew was understanding. He didn’t have the energy at the moment to throw a big fit about the necessity of leaving if Andrew had insisted he needed to stay for the show. “Thank you, man, I owe you one,” he stated, already making his way towards the door and dialing his mom’s number to alert her that he was on his way.

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The sound of steady beeping pierced through your consciousness, slowly bringing you back into awareness of the world around you. Blinking against the harsh light that welcomed you once you finally opened your eyes, you looked around, noticing that you were in a small hospital room.

Well, this can’t be good, you thought to yourself, not quite remembering how you had gotten here, what happened, or even what day it was.

Looking down, you noticed an IV poking out of your arm and you grimaced. You hated needles. At least you didn’t remember the actual moment of its insertion. That was a small relief.

As you continued to come to, you noticed that the pain in your abdomen had faded from that sharp, stabbing, unbearable pain to now a dull ache that was definitely more manageable than the former had been.

“You’re awake!” A relieved voice exclaimed from the doorway, causing you to turn your head at the noise only to be greeted by Karen, Shawn’s mom. She quickly set down the cup of coffee that was in her hand that she had presumably just returned from obtaining, before sitting down in the chair beside your bed and grabbing the hand that didn’t have the IV in place. “I have been so worried about you, sweetheart. You gave me a downright scare there, fainting on me like that!”

“I did?” You questioned. You didn’t remember that part. But then again, the last thing you could recall was waking up from your nap in unspeakable pain. So surely Shawn’s mom would be aware of the true nature of events. “What happened?” You asked hesitantly, wondering if you even wanted to know what had led to you waking up in the hospital. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah, sweetie, you’re going to be just fine. You gave us all quite a scare, though,” she soothed, smoothing your hair down comfortingly.

“What happened?” You questioned again, anxiety rising higher with each passing moment.

“Shh, shh, shh,” she reassured. “Everything’s just fine, I promise. You had a pretty nasty case of appendicitis though,” she explained softly, once again grabbing your hand in reassurance. “Your symptoms over the past few days weren’t signs of the stomach flu, although they could be easily mistaken, but it was really appendicitis.”

You winced, knowing that appendicitis was not something to take lightly. People have died in the past from that. Why, oh why hadn’t you just gone to the doctor earlier? You knew that something had been seriously wrong. “How did I get here, though?”

“You called me up yesterday afternoon. You were in an awful amount of pain and you asked if I could drive you to the emergency room, but when we were on the way over here, you lost consciousness,” she stated, wincing slightly at the memory. “Thankfully, we weren’t very far away at that point and we were able to get you inside quickly and then up to surgery to have your appendix removed and your abdomen cleaned out.”

Your breaths started coming quicker and more raggedly. You had undergone surgery?! The girl who was terrified of having an IV put in, had gone through major surgery? You didn’t know what to think, panicking at the fact that if you hadn’t called Shawn’s mom when you did, you would likely be dead in your apartment right now. No one would have been able to get you to the hospital in time if your appendix had truly been that close to rupturing. Oh, God.

Shawn! You couldn’t even imagine what would have happened if Shawn had found out that you had died in your apartment from a burst appendix. Speaking of Shawn, did he know where you were? What had happened? He must be so worried! “Shawn- “you choked out, barely able to get that one syllable out as you felt worry rising within you like a wave.

Karen seemed to have sensed where you were going with this however and quickly reassured you. “I called Shawn once they took you up for surgery. He was in the middle of his show, so he didn’t get the message until it finished. He’s on his way here now though. He hopped on the first available flight. He should be here any minute actually,” she revealed softly.

You let out a quick breath, feeling slightly at ease that Shawn wasn’t halfway across the world, unknowing of your current condition. He would be here soon. It would all be okay. Shawn was coming. You would be in his arms soon enough. A few tears trickled down your cheeks and Karen pulled you in for a swift hug, knowing you just needed to be held at the moment and if her son couldn’t be here right now, she would be happy to fill in until he got here.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait too long. Not even five minutes later, they heard the door softly push open and a tired, fearful voice quietly stutter out your name in question. “Y/N?”

Your head shot up, immediately making eye contact with your beloved boyfriend, who looked absolutely horrible at the moment. His eyes were bloodshot, hair a mess from running his hands through them in worry, and a shirt that you recognized as being one of his tour shirts half-unbuttoned and slightly askew on his tall frame.

“Shawn,” you breathed out in relief, a new batch of tears already beginning to make their way down your cheeks.

Karen quickly stepped out of the way, a small smile gracing her lips as she beheld the love between her son and his girlfriend. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” she murmured, grabbing her purse and squeezing Shawn’s arm briefly before making her way out of the room.

Not even a second after the door had swung shut, Shawn had you in his arms, tears falling freely and unashamedly down his face. “You’re okay,” he sobbed, tightening his hold on you and burying his face into your hair, breathing in your scent. “You’re really okay. I was so scared something was going to go wrong and you weren’t going to make it,” he admitted, shuddering at the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind for the entire ten-hour flight that he had had to endure.

He pulled away slightly to press his lips fiercely against yours and you quickly returned the action, pouring all the love and reassurance that you could into that kiss. “I’m okay,” you whispered softly, once you both pulled away, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks.

He placed his hands over your own, smiling slightly at you despite the tears that were still falling down his face. You wiped them away gently, taking in each of his features, relieved to finally have him by your side.

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here, baby,” he wept. “I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you. If my mom hadn’t been there. I – I…” he trailed off, words failing him as the tears fell harder. You gently pulled him into your arms, stroking his hair softly.

“Shhhh,” you murmured softly, doing your best to comfort him, knowing just how hard he was on himself. This was not going to be something that he forgot easily. “I’m okay, Shawn. I’m okay. We’re both here together and we’re safe and we’re okay. That’s what matters. Nothing else is important right now, alright?” You tried your best to convince him that this wasn’t his fault. It was some freak accident that none of you could have anticipated and he shouldn’t beat himself up about it. It was out of anyone’s hands, especially his own.

He nodded weakly, head still buried in your chest. His sniffles were slowly calming down however, which you took as a good sign.

He pulled away to bring you in for a sweet kiss. “I love you so much,” he murmured against your lips before peppering kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle in response. He was just the cuddliest, sweetest boy you had ever met and you were beyond grateful to have him here by you side.

“Wait!” You gasped, sitting up, causing Shawn to snap to attention, thinking that something was wrong. “What about your show tonight, Shawn?” You asked. “You had two more in London, right?”

Shawn gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at you softly. “Don’t worry about it, baby. Andrew took care of it. We’ll do make up shows sometime soon, but right now this is where I belong.”

You smiled up at him, wondering how you had ever gotten so lucky as to have this incredible man in your life. “I love you, Shawn,” you whispered, wanting him to know just how much it meant to you to have him here with you and for him being so willing to drop everything to be by your side in your hour of need.

He grinned in response. “I love you more, Y/N. I’m so glad that you’re okay. You’re my anchor in this crazy world. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Luckily, you’ll never have to find out. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, Shawn,” you stated sweetly before bringing him in for another sweet kiss.

[melancholicvampires]

You basically asked for it: Your characters and children. Like, what do they think of them? Would they like some day? Anything they want to change about themselves or their situation first? What kind of parent would they be? + anything else you can think of

Couldn't think of nothing else, but I think 1.8k words are already pretty good.

What do they think of them?

Amalia: children are her favourite patients. How brave they are, when they have to do a doctor's visit, is something she admires. And she loves seeing the pride on their faces, when she tells them how brave they are. She still remembers how intimidated she was when she the doctor came over, but it also made her feel like a hero, when she didn’t cry. They are also always friendly and respect her. Some even make gifts for her or write thank you-letters.

Carmilla: doesn’t particularly like children. She doesn’t hate them, but they annoy her, when they want to hear about her tales from the city and look at her like an alien creature. Although she does enjoy the attention a little bit, like when they gasp in awe, seeing her beautiful dresses and manner of speaking and moving, that is so different than from the village people. As long as they keep their distance. But it also reminds her, she’s not able to hide her origin and how it will never leave her, what her her parents imprinted on her.

Rebecca: she likes them for being better people than most adults she knows. They still have curiosity and carry still unconflicted kindness with them. She likes to talk with them about ghosts, because they don’t doubt their existence. Although many children are scared of them, Rebecca knows it’s not their fault, for they didn’t use ghosts as means to scare. Instead she tells stories about kind ghosts, but still warns them to be respectful.

Adara: children have a special place in her heart. Without hesitation she would adopt all of them, especially the ones with no place to stay. She pities them and tries her best to help as much as she can by regularly donating to orphanages and giving them a place to stay. In the many years she's lived, she hated seeing children suffer, not being able to live a joyous childhood, surrounded by love and family. One day she wants to have a child, she can give a feeling of security, being loved and seeing grow.

Dahlia: they appreciate the curious nature of children. It’s still easy to explain what’s good and bad, how to act with kindness. They are especially proud, when they got children to be interested and read a book. The Court will make it harder for the children to be good when they grow up. Dahlia tries to teach them moral behaviour, when they got the chance.

Célestin: doesn’t like them. They are loud, annoying, have no manners, are too much work and constantly ask question. Normally he enjoys when he gets asked about his career or himself. Children however wrap those questions in a layer of naivety, he simply can’t stand. As much as he respects his co-actors, when he hears them bringing their child with them, he'd rather ho back to his home. Normally they bother him when he’s rehearsing. He doesn’t understand how people see children as the greatest luck in life.

Enzio: he sees children as the greatest luck in life. He likes their honesty and will to express themselves. He enjoys teaching them about music and to use their creativity. In a way he feels like he owes to himself to help children, be it in small ways as simply being kind or telling them a story. He didn’t have that for a part of his childhood, not until he got adopted. And he wants others to have that sense of community in their childhood. It pains him to know there are still children out there, living on the street and trying to survive. He'd give all of them a home, if he could.

Claude: he’s always surprised to see how amazed children are upon seeing him. Valère said it’s because of the feathers, but Claude doesn’t believe they could be that easily impressed. To which he got proven wrong, because most children whisper about how they like his feathers. He doesn’t mind that or questions about his feathers, but he does mind when they ask to touch them or wheen they ask him if they could fly with him. He doesn’t mind children, but he’s annoyed at how persistent they are and not yet understand boundaries.

Valère: he likes seeing how they are still carefree and not biased. It distracts him from the struggles of his current situation. Although some are scared of him, which he understands, most simply want to ask him questions, like where he’s coming from, what's it like in Paris, what he likes doing, etc. It’s one of the few times he can have a simple conversation. But he always has that nagging feeling of guilt, when he talks to them. He knows their family or them included, might soon face death, When he has an order from the Court to obey in that place. Which rarely ends well.

Would they like to have children some day?

Yes: Amalia, Rebecca, Adara, Enzio, Valère

No: Carmilla, Dahlia, Célestin, Claude

Anything they want to change about themselves or their situation first?

Amalia: before carrying for a child she wants to find a nice place to settle down and work in a hospital or small surgery. This life of travel with a child doesn’t appear right to her and is much harder than when she’s travelling alone.

Rebecca: she wants to wait for a few more years before getting a child.

Adara: she wants to raise a child by herself. It could be easy to get a child without anyone knowing who the father is, but she’s scared some would claim to be the father to get a piece of her influence and wealth. She wouldn’t want to resort to murder in this case.

Valère: a lot of things. Being at a better place in life for a start as in not working for the Court and Arsène anymore. It’s too much risk to have a child at this time. They would use them to blackmail him or who knows what. He wouldn’t even be able to care properly for a child at the moment, because he’s mostly somewhere else for work purposes. He also wants to be in a better mental state and perhaps smoke and drink less.

What kind of parent would they be?

Amalia: a bit worried about her child getting sick or injuring themselves, when they play outside. Other than that, she’s pretty laid back. She wants her child to have fun in life. She'd even show them a few fencing moves and take them to appointments, if they are interested and can boast about knowing how to fight with a sword and having seen so much blood. She'd also tell them stories about weird occurrences she had as doctor and tell them irish folktales. And lots of hugs.

Carmilla: internally she’s screaming of annoyance, eternally she’s being nice. She doesn’t want to become like her mother and hates it when she catches herself imitating her mother’s behaviour. So she always tries to be polite and to give them freedom, but she’s also rather aloof to them.

Rebecca: she’d give her child all of her knowledge about ghosts and occultism, introduce them to friendly ghosts and, although she doesn’t much like using those abilities this way, she'd teach them how to scare others. With harmless spells of course. She’s a strict teacher, but a loving mother and hug her child a lot to feel them being close.

Adara: she’s a combination of peppering her child with affection too much and at times not being able to be their for them. She gives them almost everything they wish for, but also teaches them to be kind and share with others, when they have too much and someone else has nothing. Although she tries to have her child as first priority, she cannot ignore her business. She does has a bit of fear something could happen to them through her enemies, but most fear her too much to even think about it. But no matter how busy she is, she always tells one of the many stories, she has heard during her long life, to them at night.

Dahlia: they already have experience when it comes to how to handle a child, because children remind them of a certain someone they used zp be quite close with. They might appear like a strict teacher. Often saying no, when something appears dangerous, what the child might not yet understand. But they always make sure to sit down together and explain it. Overall they want their child to know the reason behind certain actions to distinct between what’s right and wrong. Most of they love answering their questions, be it a dumb question, but sometimes questions from a child are quite smart to which even Dahlia has sometimes trouble finding an answer.

Célestin: would be annoyed at the child first, but pretty quickly grow on them. If something were to happen to them, he'd kill everyone and then himself.

Enzio: he’s anxious he wouldn’t be the perfect father and scared of doing mistakes, although he really doesn’t need to be. He already knows how to care for children and would do just as much a good job with his own child. He’s patient, but also knows when to set boundaries. Most important to him is, his child being kind and be able to follow their passions. He'd even let them play on his precious violin, although always with two eyes open. He composes a song for them, that is easy to play, and writes a song for them he can sing together with them.

Claude: he isn’t much of a children person, but if he had a child, he'd make sure he always supports them no matter which way they choose to go in life and that it’s important to have at least one person they care deeply about. He does grow warm of having a child over time and even let them touch his feathers and tell them of the traditions of harpies, which are rarely spoken about.

Valère: fears to do something wrong or come of as aloof and rejecting. So he tries to spend as much time as possibly with his child and give them a feeling of security, like when they are having a nightmare he tells them he can scare of monsters and waits until they fall asleep. But he still wouldn‘t talk much about his connection to the Court or how he was before. He doesn’t want his child to become what he has. So he explains to them to always know the difference between fun and harmful behaviour, that might seem like fun to them, but not someone else. To appreciate their friends, but also not to get taken advantage of by false friends. And to know when they made a mistake and it’s never too late to apologize and do better. Pretty much notrepeating the mistakes he did and not falling into putting themselves over others.

[inkdrinkershadowsinger]

Thoughts/Background on Chamber of Secrets

There simply cannot be neighborhoods like this, where there are miles upon miles of cookie cutter homes that stretch out into the horizon. Does anyone know if this is a real shot? Or did they multiply the houses like they do to extras in a battle scene?

I never noticed that this photo album is this detailed. There is a little J and L on either side of James and Lily’s photo here. Hagrid is an artist.

It’s on every page? Was this supposed to be something that Hagrid found from Godric’s Hollow? How did he get something so specific? Or is that rumor true that Hagrid owled Lily and James friend’s and Remus, who had been left things like this when there was no one else left to claim them, got it off his bookshelf and sent it to his best friends’ son?

I like how Harry’s room progressively becomes more his own. Look at it in this movie, the walls are bare, everything is relatively tame and plain verses in Order of The Phoenix, when Harry’s room has distinctly more decoration.

Those pink candlesticks are ghastly.

Harry, my darling, you have been getting letters it is merely a well meaning house elf who has stopped them. I wonder what everyone else thought about Harry’s silence? Especially Hermione. Did she think for even a moment that Harry and Ron had decided that they didn’t want to be her friend at all? Ron isn’t much of a writer, and Harry wasn’t responding. I don’t want to know what kind of a mind fuck that must have been to 12 year old Hermione who had just got home from “magic school”, and none of her new “friends” were responding to her letters.

We have heard that theory that James is Harry and Sirius is Ron, etc. But Dudley is Petunia. Dudley and Harry were raised in the same house, closer than cousins because of location alone. But whereas Petunia never got over the resentment that she felt towards Harry in book seven Dudley was more concerned for Harry’s well-being when they were leaving for the safe house then I think Petunia ever was if Lily ever mentioned how hard and dangerous things were getting during the First Wizarding World. Dudley received some characterization and growth where Petunia never bothered.

Harry sounds so sarcastic when he says that.

Dang! Every time Harry leaves his room he has to see a pencil drawing of Dudley’s face? The Dursley’s cruelty knows no bounds.

All of this decoration, and the shelf are missing from the first scene with Harry in this movie.

Harry is just like, “Fuck it all.”

But he’s got manners galore.

At this point, Harry has never seen a house elf. He has no idea what a house elf does. He has no idea why one would be in his bedroom. He has no idea that this even is a house elf? Why is he so calm? This could be a blood thirsty toga wearing creature that they only study in seventh year, and yet, Harry is all but like, “Can I take your coat, sir?”

And now he’s crying, (those could have been lethal gas releasing nerve agents), and now he’s hitting himself (gearing up for attack.) Oh, Harry, number one at defense my arse.

And their champagne flutes are pink? You can’t buy taste.

Those people look so offended like, “You have a cat? How common.”

I know that the fanon is that wizarding children all heard bedtime stories about Harry Potter, but Dobby is proof that other beings also heard about Harry’s triumph over the Dark Lord.

Who painted that picture on Harry’s wardrobe? Dean Thomas, fanon artist. Or does Harry Potter have latent creative talent? Or can you buy these out of the Hogwart’s catalog? Lol

Dobby is like, “Oh, shit, I should not have said that.”

This is where Harry’s Gryffindor really shows because he could just lie to Dobby, but he doesn’t. It’s that Gryffindor honesty.

The man is just like, “Oh, look, cake. Neither of them even looks angry.

Vernon bowered Niall Horan’s hat for this scene.

Harry sleeps with the scrapbook right by his bed. Someone shoot me.

I love that to Ron, Fred, and George that this is a completely normal thing for them to be doing. None of them look nervous about flying a car in a Muggle neighborhood. Destruction of property? Who gives a fuck? They are just like, we have to do what we have to do for our bud. Just a regular drive around.

Hedwig is very annoyed at being called a pigeon.

Ron knows to appreciate the simple things. Tell you mate Happy Birthday, no werid shows of masculinity here.

I love the Burrow. I love the position of the Burrow. I love that they are surrounded by land and a little pond. I love that it is secluded, and that it looks pieced together.

The inside of the Burrow is stunning. You have the Farm House sink. The detailed windows. The hardwood surfaces. The eclectic but perfectly fitting furniture. It would be considered chic to many a Muggle. And that DOOR, that opens up, and then also opens out. The extra space above that little cubbie. Fireplace. Hand, or magic, knitted blankets.

There is a wooden orange cat, a la, Crookshanks on the fireplace there.

Ginny is me.

He says, “Morning Weasleys.” Like they are a clan. He could totally use that tone and call them all to action.

I feel like Mrs. Weasley could sound more disappointed here. I feel like she is kind of annoyed, but also kind of interested in their little stunts as well.

The stainglass windows, the open placement for the dishes, like this house is amazing!

“Dumbledore must know that you’re here.” So, the headmaster is the one who can keep track of the placement of certain students and their whereabouts, or is this simply a case where Mrs. Figg informed Dumbledore that Harry had taken off. Can you imagine that letter? Like, “Super sorry, Professor Dumbledore, but it seems as if Number Four Pivet Drive has been attacked by three red haired boys in a flying car. The red haired youngsters seemed to be on quite friendly terms with Mr. Potter however, as they helped them into the flying vehicle. Just thought that I should mention it.

Sincerely,

               Arabella Figg

 So, does Appartition take a lot out of a witch or wizard? Why don’t Mr. and Mrs. Weasley just apparate all the kids to the Diagon Alley? Is there such a thing as flooing by twos or threes? Because that would also be useful. Are there many fireplaces lining Diagon Alley like the tones that are shown in seven part one in the Ministry? Where to they floo into? Just one of the thousands of questions that need answers, Mrs. Rowling.

There is a gilded head of an elephant behind Harry’s head before Harry examines closely a cabinet that seems to follow a very tight skull aesthetic for maximum creep.

On the top shelf, there seems to be a lamp? A magical one?

More skulls. The hand of glory, that is mentioned in the books. And then a vase full of eye balls. This place is a health hazard. I know the wizarding world lacks mental health professionals, but you’re telling me they don’t have health inspectors?

Harry looks like he has been covered in spiderwebs. When was the last time that Floo was used?

Who are these random people just immediately accosting a twelve year old boy?

They pass a book seller. Knowledge is the root of all power.

The sign in front says from top to bottom: Quality. Value. Ease. Style. Then I think, Variety.

Hermione is internally shrugging because of course her ride or die new friend is covered in ash and has broken glasses. Of course, he is.

The girl behind them as they walk away looks back at them like, “Oh, Harry Potter.”

The fashion and lighting in this movie went from drab and seventeen hundreds to really flamboyant and really stylish with bright colors. I love that the dashes of color really followed them into the other films. Even Prisoner of Azkaban with its more muted color scheme is still vibrant.

The front page that reads: Gilderoy Lockhart gives Wizarding Wolrd Hero Hygiene Tips. Ash free for the cameras, always.

They are literally crammed into the bottom floor of this shop, and Draco Malfoy has an excellent view from above?

Ginny’s got some balls. Love her. All the boys are silent, and she just ain’t taking no shit.

Like Lucius, it is not okay to fondle people’s foreheads, you creepy mother f-er.

Hermione is a bad bitch. Like she knows how dangerous magic can be know, and yet, she doesn’t back down from this grown wizard.

They are all dirty. What happened to scourgify? Or were they scouring grate after grate trying to find Harry, and just didn’t have time after the relief of finding him? Literally, no one else is dirty.

Ginny’s trunk has a Hogwart’s emblem. And we all know the Weasley’s use hand me down items. Whose trunk does she have?

Like Ronald, this is not logical. Dang! I know y’all aint in Ravenclaw, but you are twelve years old. This is basic.

“Your hands all sweaty.” This is no time to be a snob, Harry.

So, did the car fail because they hit Hogwart’s wards? That would seem logical for its sudden failure.

It could also be why the Womping Willow attacked the car so viscously. It may have sensed that this car doesn’t belong to the grounds, and thus, could potentially be a threat. So, it tried to dislodge and pulverize the threat.

Pete, you rat bastard.

This car knows its way around Hogwarts? Or did some of the sentient magic that is in Hogwarts take over the car, and that is why it saved Harry and Ron when they were in the forest with the acromantulas.

To make things more environmentally friendly. The Daily Prophet should have a self updating paper, that changes with each news day. People can still buy the others, if they want to keep them for posterity, but I mean, come on, save the planet.

I feel like this is just a flashback for Snape. James getting away with everything and now Harry.

And Ron, is just so used to getting caught out by Mrs. Weasley, that he just instantly thinks that he is going home.

The look on Snape’s face is so sad here. Will no one ever take this man’s side?

I like this overhead view of the greenhouses. I like the idea too, that there are several levels of greenhouses. The ones that we see in this movie are close to the castle and are set for first and second years, but then the Greenhouses that we see in Half Blood Prince are set away a bit from the castle for the upper years. And some are just for Professor Sprout.

There are little dragon statues on top of the greenhouses. That’s a bit ironic.

Do you think that those large pot like things hanging from the ceiling are

Like, how common is getting petrified, that this would be in second year school book. Also, why were they being grown in the first place if there uses were so rare.

Headcanon that Neville truly developed an interest in Herbology when he fainted that year. He went back to see what work he missed, and Professor Sprout was just straight battling some giant carnivorous plant, and just kicking the fertilizer out of it, and Neville helps her. Then she shows him something else, and something else, and talks about all the things that plants can do, and what they are capable of achieving. “But that’s normally a lesson I reserve for the older years.” But Neville doesn’t want to wait, he wants to do it now. He goes back to the common room with several borrowed books from Professor Sprout, and he is never the same again.

We are legit just going to leave a student lying on the ground. Are we? The wizarding world is really survival of the fittest.

There is a studious Ravenclaw behind them there, reading away.

Neville still has flashbacks to be honest.

When the wizarding world doesn’t have cell phones to yell at or embarrass your children with, you hit them with a howler. Respect.

This DADA room is surrounded with pictures of Lockhart. All the frames along the side of the room are pictures of Lockhart. Bless this man.

This painting of Lockhart is painting a picture of Lockhart.

He bought those Cornish Pixies on the Wizarding Web.

Is that a skeleton of a hippogriff handing above them there?

Even the pixies have had it with Lockhart’s shit books.

The painting Lockhart runs out of the way as well.

Hermione is a baddie.

Hogwarts is so beautiful.

Flint, Wood is tired of your shit.

Hermione and Ron smell trouble, and are like, “I’m going to get me some of that.” Because Gryffindors.

Clap back Hermione.

I love that in the book everyone reacts to what Draco calls Hermione. I wish they would have included that a bit more in the movie.

Ron must have learned that from somewhere, but instead of someone helping him, they just laugh.

This interaction here with Hagrid and Hermione always melts my heart. I like to think that Hagrid is one of the reasons that Hermione worked so hard later in life for the protection and promotion of creature rights. Hagrid being a half giant.

Hagrid is number one. Let’s be real.

Where can I get this level of staged photograph when I go to the Wizarding World in May?

Lockhart is like, “Dang, the fame is already getting to this one. What a shame.”

Harry hears someone threatening to murder people, and of course, he runs right to them.

If Tom Riddle had a giant, most likely extremely hard to kill snake, why didn’t he just try to ride it on out of Hogwarts, take over Diagon and flatten everything? Why didn’t he come back for it during the first wizarding world?

Ron is not down with spiders, and neither am I.

Look, this may be a controversial opinion, but I love Mrs. Norris, and I think that her and Filch are cute and are not to be messed with.

Let’s be real, Filch has been hearing for a solid year from Snape about how Harry Potter is such a little shit. That rage has got to come from somewhere.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry thinking that they were just about to sneak off. Dumbledore is like, “Bitch, please.”

Hermione, Harry, and Ron: “Is Snape taking up for us….actu….oh, wait, of course not.”

I feel so bad for Filch here. That cat is probably the only thing in the whole world that he actually loves.

McGonagall has a large number of zoo like cages in her classroom as well. Her classroom is also very symmetrical, from the two blackboards, to the candles in the front of the room.

Draco and Goyle are reluctantly impressed.

That is the beautiful thing about libraries. There is an unlimited amount of information available at any point in time.

I’m glad that there is at least one adult in the common space for the students. Is that supposed to be Madam Pince? Or a helpful teaching assistant? We all know that the teachers at Hogwarts have an intense work load.

Why is there a spider depicted on the woman’s head in this book?

I just imagine that every time that Harry is in the air that Ron and Hermione experience quite a lot of anxiety.

I can just hear Lucius in the stands saying, “We do not show off for such people.” When the snitch is right beside Draco’s head.

I feel that Lucius grew into being a good father when the threat of his family became a reality. I think before he judged Draco by too harsh means because things were always rather simple in his mind. He thought he was the best, and Draco should be too. But he was humbled, and became a better father because of it.

Dobby strictly uses the word, “Enslavement” here. That word makes what Hermione does with Spew seem less radical.

The table is decorated with the phases of the moon.

Snape rises from the crowd like a ghost.

How on Earth did Lockhart get Snape to agree to do this? He had to have accosted him in the staffroom or during a meeting when Snape couldn’t get away.

“Severus, I really think it would be a great idea. We could really give the kids something exciting, riveting, and imaginative.”  It is only when McGonagall tells him that he could probably get Lockhart on his perfectly pictured arse a few times that Snape considers it, and eventually concedes.

The most iconic Drarry line ever. “Scared, Potter?” “You wish.”

Can conjured things kill people? Or are they just charms? Is the pain temporary, or a real solid thing that can seriously damage?

Is this study hall?

Harry Potter has the crappiest luck ever.

Some of the headmasters and headmistresses seem to be still. I like the idea that all of the professors that get promoted to that level get to be immortalized whether they would like to put apart of them inside of a portrait or not.

I really like the idea of Dumbledore as a scholar and an academic, so I really like that they show all of his scrolls and books.

I feel like Fawkes dying and then being rebirthed among the flames is a really poignant thing for Harry to experience at this stage in his life. This image of the phoenix dying, but still having life probably stuck with Harry and it might have been something that he thought about when he was preparing to walk into the forest in book seven.

Hagrid has got Harry’s back, and I love it. He is a really good friend.

This image of the Black Lake frozen over, and the students being pulled across it’s icy surface is stunning.

Hermione was training to join MI6 before she got her Hogwarts letter, and no one can tell me differently.

Are flying treats that common that Crabbe and Goyle are just like, “Dead on.” It must have been a cute thing that there house elves did for them when they were children, levitating treats or toys in the air for them to grab. Or their parents showing them magic and giving them treats at the same time. Otherwise, how would they have ever thought, “You know what? Excellent and safe idea to eat these random treats.”

Harry literally doesn’t know here which one is Crabbe and which one is Goyle.

The Slytherin common room looks way more lush then the Gryffindor common room. I feel like you can see really clearly into the Black Lake there, and since it is frozen over, the light that you see is light blue instead of green. I mean, look at how big there common room is. It looks like they have a designated study area and everything.

Draco, don’t be the stereotype of rich boys who steal. Just don’t.

Myrtle is not to be fucked with, bro.

A young Tom Riddle for sure got this one year for Christmas at Wool’s orphanage before the war started, and things got so tight that they couldn’t even afford three meals a day. Then, like everything in his past, he transferred these basic Muggles things to something more extraordinary, like him.

Tom Riddle in this movie is a hottie. Like, y’all can’t even fight me because there is no denying his killer beauty….get it?

Okay, so are we thinking that during this flashback that Tom’s soul piece is not only aware that Harry is watching a scene from his life, but is also, acting out the part of himself? He is the director and the lead, so to say.

I like this sequence because it shows more insight into who Tom Riddle is, and where the fear of death started to come from. I wish that Rowling would have made this connection more thoroughly for the viewers of the movies. A single mention of there being too many bombs, or a lot of fighting by Tom here when he is talking with Dumbledore would have provided some more insight into this character.

Ginny knows how to do some damage. I think it would have been easier for them to figure out. Girls can get up boy’s dorms, but boys cannot get up to girl’s dorms. It would have had to have been a Gyrffindor. The common room couldn’t have been completely empty. Hermioen could have fact checked this, and figured out who had wrecked their dorm.

Look at those game plans back there. I just envision, Oliver Wood drawing frantically on the blackboard wild circles that simulate flying motions, but he goes too quickly for everyone else to understand what he’s saying, and thus, the only one who knows the plan is Wood, himself.

Did they show Colin’s friends his frozen body? Or Penelope and Justin’s? Not one person in this school thinks of the potentially traumatizing circumstances that they are putting these kids through.

It is popular fanon that McGonagall and Riddle went to school together. From this perspective, it would be doubly as traumatizing for her to hear that the school could be closing again.

Ron is me. I ain’t messing with no mother flipping spiders.

Ron is no help in this scenario. Absolutley none.

Harry replacing Hermoine’s flowers, and thus subtly telling the viewers how much time has elapsed.

Harry is wickedly smart. He is also very logical which I think attributes a lot to that sarcastic personality that he has.

McGonagall has some Slytherin in her for sure. She went from worried to blasting Lockhart in 2.5.

Lockhart packed up really quickly. It was almost like he….. had….experience…leaving…quickly.

I wonder if Lockhart’s victims ever got any retribution after he wound up in St. Mungos. It’s almost certain that his sales went up when he got admitted to the hospital just because of the public’s sheer curiosity and gossip mongering.

Salazar Slytherin was one slick mother f-er. “I’m going to hide my chamber in the bathroom.”

I can just imagine Riddle not having a lot of time in between OWLS and what not, and taking the easy way out and opening the Chamber whenever he could just to chuck down dead rabbits and chickens. Forays into the Forbidden Forest were many for Tom’s minions back then.

Honestly, Lockhart, Harry probably wouldn’t mind if you took a few of his less than pleasurable memories.

Tom Riddle also has that innate need to be polite even though he’s about to stab someone just like Harry does. Or is this a British thing?

I love how the villains in these movies say, “Potter.”

That does not look like the hole that they came down? It looks like Fawkes took them up another exit.

Why is Dumbledore trusting Hagrid’s release papers from the wizarding world’s worst prisons to a twelve year old? To a twelve year old Ron Weasley at that.

It looks like Dumbledore has a crystal ball by his desk. Trying his hand at divination? Or is that how he keeps track of all the students? I need to know what headmaster powers enable him to do all of these things.

Jason Isaacs is super fine. I can even deal with the wig. In fact, the wig makes it better.

It looks like Dumbledore’s office is located outside of the courtyard which makes the scene in Order of the Phoenix when Fred and George are comforting that boy all the more poignant.

[thatgaydemigodnerd]

A little bit of Both

Tw: truscum, anxiety, transphobia, misgendering

This is the first part of my three part fic about Roman going through various labels for their gender. In this first part they will identify as a trans woman.

This part may not have the happiest ending, but that will be changed in the following parts and at the end of the third part there will be an entirely happy ending.

This is for week two of @fander-pride-meetup representation

If you wanna be tagged in the next parts please don't sent me an ask I rarely see them, send me a message

Roman was a boy.

He had been born as one, and he usually felt like one.

Until he wasn’t.

He didn’t know when it happened, but he felt more like a woman now. Wait, not he, she, Roman reminded herself. She was looking in the mirror, her lack of boobs glaringly obvious. All her male features didn’t feel very wrong per se, just off.

“I guess I’m trans now?” She said more as a question than a real statement. She hand expected this, she always seemed to be fine with being a guy, but lately it just didn’t sit right with her.

She weighed her options and decided that there’s no reason to hide this from her friends, and that doing so would only increase her suffering. Patton would probably be supportive of her, Virgil would probably get anxious about misgendering her, and Logan would probably reassure him with facts and research.

Everyone was over at Virgil’s house, sitting on or around the couch in his room and playing Mario kart on an old Wii. Roman was feeling very nervous and couldn’t concentrate so he ended up in last place. Virgil, playing Bowser, shot a red shell at Logan, playing Luigi, with the finish line in sight, he started laughing as he passed him, but right before he crossed the finish line a blue she’ll landed on him blowing him and Logan who was right behind him into the air, Patton, playing toad, raced past both of them with a huge grin on his face and finished first. Logan and Virgil were staring wide-eyed at Patton who had actually been the one who shot the blue shell, he got it in sixth place during the second round and kept it with him and he slowly advanced to third place.

Roman didn’t bother actually finish the race, putting down her controller instead and taking a few breaths.

“Are you okay kiddo?” Patton asked her, tilting his head slightly to the left and smiling. “You seem a little distracted, what’s on your mind?”

Roman took a few more deep breaths. “I have something I want to tell you guys,” she hesitated, not sure how to start.

Virgil tensed up and got a worried look in his eyes. “Oh no, something’s wrong isn’t it, you’re gonna tell us that you’re moving away, or that you’re sick and you’re gonna die, are you gonna die? Oh god oh no.”

“It’s nothing bad, I promise, it’s okay, I’m not gonna die.” Roman quickly stated to calm her friends anxiety.

“Well, I can assure you there is no point in making us wait to hear whatever it is you wanted to tell us.” Logan said while giving Virgil one of his stimtoys to help him cope with his anxiety.

“I know that specs, I’m just having trouble finding the right words.”

Patton reached over and put his hand on Roman’s shoulder, Roman took a deep breath again before quickly saying “I’m trans!” She held her eyes closed because she was too scared to see the reactions of her friends.

“Well that’s alright kiddo, I love you regardless of your gender, you’re still the amazing person we know and love.” Patton said, though Roman did notice how he quickly let go of his shoulder.

“That’s it? That’s what you almost gave me a panic attack over? Dude, that’s nothing, I don’t get why you’d be so nervous about that, you should know we accept you.”

“Indeed, being transgender is not out of the ordinary, we are a group where each member will support any other member with anything. I shall send you some links on how to deal with dysphoria.”

Roman opened her eyes again and looked at the others, Patton was awkward about it, Virgil was dismissive about it, only Logan was ready to fully support her just like that. She faked a smile and leaned backwards falling against the backrest of the couch. “Thanks guys.”

Roman was laying on the bed in Logan’s room while Logan sat at his desk and typed away on his laptop.

“Logan, could we talk? I just need someone who will listen to me for a bit.” Roman asked as he stared at the ceiling.

“I am inadequate in dealing with emotional matters, but I will try to the best of my abilities.” He clicked safe on the document he was working on and closed his laptop.

“It feels weird to be out as trans, I would have thought that our friends would have been better about it. But I’m getting very different signals.” She began, sitting up and crossing her legs as she looked at Logan.

“How so?”

“It feels like Patton is avoiding me, and when we do spend time together, its usually with someone else there. And he avoids addressing me. I asked Patton about it when we were alone. But he just said ‘What are you talking about kiddo? You know I love you regardless of your gender.’” Roman sighed.

“Are you sure you aren’t misinterpreting things?”

“That isn’t everything, there’s also the fact that he doesn’t hug me anymore, and this is Patton were talking about, he hugs all his friends all the time. And also, whenever I sit down next to him he shortly after gets up and says he goes to the toilet or something else like that, and when he does come back he sits somewhere else, away from me.”

“I see.”

“And then there’s Virgil, he constantly misgenders me but when I correct him he just gives me a half smile and a shrug, he doesn’t even say sorry, and then he does it again the next time he talks about me.”

“I can see how that can be distressing, surely it can’t be enjoyable to feel dysphoric so often.”

“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that, I appreciate the support you’ve been giving me with sending me all those articles about being transgender and how to deal with dysphoria, but I don’t really feel dysphoria.” Roman said awkwardly as she scratched the back of her neck.

Logan looked surprised at Roman. “I was under the impression that you were transgender?”

“Yeah, I am?”

“How can you claim to be transgender when you do not even experience gender dysphoria.”

“What do you mean? You don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans.” Roman was nervously looking at Logan as he straightened his glasses.

“I know for a fact that you do, so if you do not experience gender dysphoria you are clearly not transgender.”

Roman looked surprised at Logan, feeling betrayed and wanting to cry.

“If you cannot even be honest about who you are I do not want you in my room, this is a sanctum of honesty and truth.” Logan said as he opened the door.

Roman blinked rapidly in an attempt not to cry as she put on her shoes and quickly walked out of the room. She didn’t want to cry in front of Logan.

Roman was sitting on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks and making his blanket wet, there was already a sizable wet spot but she didn’t care enough to move to a dryer part of the bed, it would just get wet too. Roman had been holed up in her room for days, only leaving to raid the kitchen. The only things she did were eat, sleep, cry, and stare at her ceiling as she felt numb. She had considered calling someone but who would she call? Patton was avoiding her, Virgil obviously didn’t care enough about her to even try using the right pronouns, and Logan basically disowned her as a friend because he’s a truscum, she had no one to turn to.

Her father had come into her room, and he had set next to her as she stared at the ceiling, but she was feeling too numb to hear what he was saying. Eventually he left, but Roman noticed that after that there was a lot more ice cream in the freezer, her favourite comfort food.

On the fifth day she finally decided to turn her phone back on, she just couldn’t stand hearing only the sound of her crying anymore. Her phone vibrated as lots of messages came through at once. Roman scrolled through them, most were from Virgil who seemed to have had multiple freak-outs over her sudden disappearance, there were some from Logan, most recently a link, but Roman didn’t dare click on his contact, too afraid of what she’ll see. She looked if any we’re from Patton, but there was nothing, ever since she had come out, she hadn’t tried sending anything to him herself because she didn’t want to be ignored.

Roman hovered with her finger over Virgil’s contact, clearly he had been worried about her. Roman wanted to reach out to someone so badly, she wanted to not feel alone anymore so badly, she wanted to have friends again, or at the very least she wanted someone she could actually trust not to backstab her. She pressed Virgil’s contact and tried to write a text, but suddenly she just couldn’t find the words to express herself. She kept staring at the empty text box, her fingers ready to type anything her mind came up with, but nothing came. Eventually she just typed something and hit send before she could change her mind.

Princess charming: hey

Patches: Where the fuck have you been, I’ve been worried sick, you haven’t answered any of my texts or calls and now you suddenly show your face

Patches: What do you have to say for yourself?

Princess charming: I honestly feel like absolute shit, so much has been bothering me and I just can’t deal with it anymore

Patches: Oh shit dude, that sucks.

Roman had had it, she couldn’t let this go on any longer.

Princess charming: stop that!

Patches: Stop what?

Princess charming: calling me dude, I’m not a dude

Princess charming: stop acting like I am one

Patches: What?

Princess charming: you keep using he him pronouns for me even when I correct you, you call me dude, you just act like I’m not trans at all and I’m sick of it

Patches: Wow, I never realized it bothered you so much, I guess I just didn’t think it was that important?

Princess charming: why wouldn’t it be important?

Princess charming: I corrected you so often

Princess charming: how did you not think that maybe you should listen to me and start using the right pronouns

Virgil didn’t say anything for a while, Roman could see that he kept typing something but deleted it again soon after. Finally he said something

Patches: Okay, how about this, when I fuck up pronouns or whatever, you can punch me on the shoulder, eventually I’ll have to get it right that way.

Princess charming: deal

[ts1989fanatic]

Todrick Hall's Comments About Taylor Swift Are All About Support – EXCLUSIVE

Todrick Hall has some famous friends and co-workers. His YouTube channel (which has close to 3 million subscribers) has gotten him worldwide recognition and into the room where it happens with the likes of Beyoncé and Taylor Swift. He choreographed Beyoncé's "Blow" music video after she saw some of his own videos, and his friendship with Taylor Swift got him a featured cameo in the "Look What You Made Me Do" music video. Todrick Hall's comments about Taylor Swift prove that working and being close friends with the star is not what you may think.

Hall and I are on the set of his "Glitter" music video when we sit down to chat about his career. He had already met T. Swift by the time he starred as Lola in Kinky Boots on Broadway in 2016, but it was during this stint in Harvey Fierstein and Cindy Lauper's Tony-winning show that his friendship with the "Delicate" singer really solidified.

"When I moved to New York, I went out to eat with her when I was doing Kinky Boots," Hall tells Elite Daily, "and I had done shows in New York before, but it had been so many years and I felt like I had lost my friend circle. And so I was so happy that she was [living in New York]." Hall says their friendship was a casual one, so he didn't expect her to come see him in the Broadway show.

"She said that she was going to come and see the show and I was like, I'm never going to ask her to come and see it again because I know she's busy, I don't want to pressure her. And she just showed up to the show one day." He says Swift not only saw the show, but she stayed for two hours after meeting, speaking, and taking pictures with everyone in the cast and crew. From then on, he knew he had a solid friend in her.

Hall reveals that, like many on the internet, he believed Swift's niceness was just a front she put on for her famous persona. But he maintains that niceness still holds true in their personal and professional relationships.

"Huge things will happen and she'll be like, 'OK, great. This is what we have to do, this is what the universe has given us, this is what we're faced with. How are we going to fix this?' I would love to handle my minor issues the way that she handles some of her huge issues that billions of people are going to see and judge." He doesn't hint as to what any of those "huge issues" he's talking about are, but her public beef with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West comes to mind, as well as incessant tabloid coverage of her past relationships. (Miraculously, she and actor Joe Alwyn have managed to keep their two-year relationship under tight lock and key.)

"I think that one thing that I really love about her is she has been burned by a lot of people," Halls continues, "and you would think in a lot of ways that she would be totally OK with being a princess locked in a tower that nobody was able to enter. But she's willing to get back up again and trust people again, which is a very scary thing when you're somebody in that position."

Hall has proven himself to be a loyal friend to Swift as well, going to bat for her frequently against Kanye West.

When Swift finally voiced her political opinions in what the internet felt was a long overdue Instagram post, Hall posted on Instagram as well, showing his pride in her decision.

He explained in the lengthy caption that Swift being so guarded for so long about her political beliefs was part of the reason he kept their friendship casual at first. He echoes the same sentiment in our conversation.

Referencing her complete lack of a public political stance over the years, Hall tells me, "She has such power that I don't even think she realizes how much of an affect it would have on people."

He continues, "I was explaining to her that, as a gay person, I didn't know for sure how you felt about gay people and I was a little bit nervous to talk to you about my love life or whatever." And he recognizes the criticism she would receive for not voicing her political opinions before the 2016 presidential election.

Many people justifiably feel that Swift, with such a powerful influence over newly 18-year-old potential voters, could have done much more political advocacy in 2016 than just posting a picture of herself with an "I Voted" sticker. When you have a platform as large as Swift's, it's easy to see how not using said platform in a tumultuous political time would garner heavy criticism. Some of that criticism, Hall says, was pointed at him as well.

As a gay man of color, Hall tells me that people online occasionally placed the onus of getting Swift to "come out" as a democrat on him.

"Sometimes, people would give me flack online that she wasn't doing certain things," he tells me. "I love the fact that she has grown and evolved in her own time, as every artist has to do." He continues, "It can be very scary to potentially risk your career or your reputation to stick your neck out for something when you don't have to do it. You don't have to stand up for gay rights, you don't have to voice your opinion, and you'll sell the same amount of records. But somebody who truly cares about the way this country is falling apart and will take it upon themselves to use their voice to do something — that, I believe, is just the right thing to do."

She did that when she officially endorsed democratic candidates running in Tennessee elections in 2018 (and there was a massive surge in voter registration as a result). But Hall recognizes this was overdue. But Hall knew that being a good friend meant supporting her decision, regardless of how late it was.

So when Kanye West tweeted that he was "distancing" himself from politics, Hall couldn't help but laugh (and call the rapper out on Twitter).

“Well well well Miss @kanyewest," he said, "while I’m thrilled that you claim to have hopped off the Trump train, I cannot help but bask in the irony that you are now ‘distancing yourself from politics’ while the girl everybody was dragging is now promoting a blue candidate like it’s her job." Look what you made him do, Kanye! Elite Daily reached out to West's team for comment on Hall's tweets, but did not hear back by the time of publication.

All tea and shade aside, Hall tells me that Swift is one of those friends who is basically a therapist for him, and vice versa.

Throughout their entire friendship, however, they never had the chance to work together. That is, until Swift asked him to be in the "Look What You Made Me Do" music video.

"I feel like I owe her money for the amount of therapy that she's given me for the boys that I've dated," Hall quips. He reveals that he hasn't always approved of her past relationships either, although he stays tightlipped on just which of her famous exes he's referring to. (Booooo.)

"I think that it's easy to be surrounded with a lot of 'yes' people," he says, "but with Taylor, there was somebody that she was dating that I didn't necessarily approve of and I was definitely very honest with her about how I felt about it. She just would always be like, 'Thank you so much for your honesty.'"

"I feel like it is the most expensive music video that's ever been created in history," Hall jokes.

Outside of working with his bestie on the video, Hall says it was a wonder to see director Joseph Kahn at work on the video. Kahn has directed a large number of Swift's videos in the past, including most of the videos from Reputation. The biggest were "Look What You Made Me Do" and "...Ready For It?" both of which Hall was on set. To perform in the former, and just observe the latter.

"It was amazing to watch [Joseph Kahn] work and to see everything," Hall says, adding, "I was also on the set of '...Ready For It?' to watch that as well. And it was just really, really awesome and to be able to hear the song and to see the sets. I make videos for a living, but to see the budget of how these sets were built and how amazing they look, it was just insane. I had never seen anything like that before in my life."

He brings up his choreography for Beyoncé on the "Blow" music video as a comparison. Beyoncé's self-titled surprise album was famously more low-budget than some of her other videos because it was being kept as such a huge secret, so seeing Swift's massive budget for her Reputation videos was an eye-opener.

"When I did the video with Beyoncé, we went to a location, a roller skating rink, and that's where we did it, so that was the aesthetic of that video," he explains, "But I've never been somewhere where they built an entire world and a cemetery and a thrown and all these things. It was just really crazy to see it and to be a part of it was just really, really awesome."

As for her dancing in the video (people have always trolled Swift for dancing even though she's not near someone like Beyoncé's level), Hall says she's doing it for the joy it brings her.

"Taylor Swift doesn't have to ever dance," he, a professional dancer, says. "She'll still sell the same amount of tickets. She just loves to dance." She danced alongside Hall in the "Look What You Made Me Do" video, and Hall sees it as a huge moment of pride. He tells me, "She was scared at first, she was for sure nervous. But once we saw the playback and I was like, 'You look amazing,' she just kept going in more and more and more and more. Every single time, she'd give it more energy, more performance, and now I see her dancing in [the Reputation stadium tour] more than she's ever danced before. And I'm just so proud of her."

This is why he gets his own membership card