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artradhikita · 4 years

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The time I started writing a comic book / graphic novel (Part 5 of 5)

This is Part 5.

Click here for Part 4:

https://artradhikita.tumblr.com/post/618742834477039616/the-time-i-started-writing-a-comic-book-graphic

Click here for Part 3:

https://artradhikita.tumblr.com/post/618741821770809344/the-time-i-started-writing-a-comic-book-graphic

Click here for Part 2:

https://artradhikita.tumblr.com/post/618741007439314944/the-time-i-started-writing-a-comic-book-graphic

Click here for Part 1:

https://artradhikita.tumblr.com/post/618740135510540288/the-time-i-started-writing-a-comic-book-graphic

@azonip The last part was exciting right? And probably very confusing! So here is the conclusion of the first draft of the FIRST BOOK! That’s right! I wrote BOOKS! Or what would have become books, had I not discarded this project. This is all I will post for today. If you’re enjoying it, let me know and I’ll post the rest of the first draft of the story, along with the new character artwork.

If you don’t like it, let me know so I don’t tag you when I post the rest of the first draft of the story, along with the new character artwork! XD LOL

Copy-paste of the original first draft:

the group are in the living room, sitting. lucy is huddled in a chair with a blanket and tea. the others are sitting around her and have transformed back to their human forms.

myrina: how did you do it lucy?

lucy: no, first you guys have to tell me what the hell is going on! why did those monsters kidnap me and try to kill alex? i want to know the truth.

alex: i'm sorry lucy, i didn't mean for you to find out this way. i didn't mean for you to find out at all. i was trying to protect you from my enemies, but they got to you anyway.

lucy: why do you have enemies? why didn't you tell me about all this crazy shit with vampires and were-wolves and giant snakes and crap like that!

alex: calm down, i'm sorry i kept the truth from you. i'll tell you everything.

kai: i already told her some of the basics.

alex: years ago, when i found out about kai's transformations i couldn't believe it at first. but i knew he needed my help to get through them. together we learned how to control them using meditation and martial arts.

kai: it really worked.

alex: then i began to think that maybe kai wasn't the only one like that. and i wondered how he got that way. i did a lot of research and thought maybe kai had been bitten by a were-wolf when he was a baby or something

kai: but i have no scars or bite marks, or any memory of such a thing. i think if i was that young a bite would have killed me. the only clue i had was this pendant i was wearing when i was found in the forest by my adopted parents.

kai shows lucy a wooden pendant with a wolf's face carved on it and a dream catcher hanging beside it on a leather string around his neck.

kai: it's the only clue my birth parents left me, i guess. i was wearing it when my adopted parents found me.

alex: i speculated that maybe kai was born with his ability to transform into another creature, and maybe there were others who could help us know more about it. i did a lot of searching but i found nothing, until i met quan and myrina in college.

quan: we kind of tried to kill him. sorry about that....again.

alex has a flashback to when he was in college. it is a dark night but the moon is full, he is walking down a quiet street. he hears growling a little ahead of him.

alex: kai? is that you?

suddenly a wolf runs towards him. alex drops his bag and dodges it. the wolf has black fur and green eyes.

alex: you're not kai!

the wolf attacks him again but misses.

alex: stop! i know what you are and i can help you!

the wolf pounces on alex and he falls to the ground. they struggle and alex fights him off.

alex: i don't want to hurt you, i need to talk to you!

but the wolf keeps attacking and alex has to defend himself. suddenly another wolf appears.

alex: two of you! i better get out of here.

alex runs and the wolves chase him. he is cornered against a wall. he looks at them. they approach slowly and snarl at him. suddenly a cloud moves in front of the moon and the wolves calm down. they look at alex confusedly.

alex: stop, you don't know what you're doing! i can help you control this, but you have to stop attacking me.

quan: who are you? how can you help us?

alex: my best friend is like you. we've been looking for others ever since it started. i helped him control his transformations, and i can help you too, if you'll join us.

myrina: we can't help it! the minute that cloud uncovers the moon we'll go crazy again. you have to get out while you can! my name is myrina randolf and this is my twin brother quan.

alex: i'm alex cadeyrn. we'll find each other when this is over. but you need to get away from campus or you could kill someone. go!

myrina: stay out of the forest tonight!

alex snaps back to the present.

alex: after that i looked them up and found them. i went with kai to see them and he showed them that he could control his transformations. together the four of us formed the brotherhood.

myrina: it was much harder for us to control ourselves because we'd been that way for many years with no one to guide us. alex was there to help kai from the beginning, but we were much more advanced by the time he found us.

quan: luckily kai was with us whenever there was a full moon, and he would keep us in line.

myrina: we discovered that the more we learned to control our abilities the stronger we got, both in mind and in body.

kai: and myrina and quan were able to help me find out more about myself.

myrina: neither of us were bitten by were-wolves, that's just something people made up because they don't understand people like us. being able to shape-shift isn't the result of some kind of infection. my brother and i went through our transformations at the same time, being identical twins and all. we always thought it might be something to do with our blood. our mother is vietnamese and our dad is english. my dad would tell us stories about strange people who could turn into animals, it wasn't until alex contacted him did we find out our grand-uncle was rumored to be one of them.

quan: that's why we think it's got something to do with our bloodline. our ability to shape-shift may be inherited from our family.

kai: the wolf pendant is a clue about my family, maybe they were like me. but i haven't been able to find them, i don't know where to look. the only thing quan, myrina, ralph and i have in common is the fact that we can turn into wolves, nothing in our blood suggests we're related in any way. ralph's from arizona, but i was found in the mountains near the coast of california.

ralph: and as far as i know, i'm the only shape-shifter in the hopi nation.

lucy: how'd you join the brotherhood, ralph?

ralph: i lived in the reservation in arizona until i was 15, but i was a danger to my people, so i ran away. my father knew about my secret and tried to help me, but he didn't know how. for many years i hid in caves, as far away from people as i could. i wandered here and lived in the forest until i came across these 3. we're different from regular wolves, much bigger and stronger. we have the heightened senses of a wolf but with the intelligence of a human. i knew straight away that the 3 wolves i was looking at were like me. they convinced me to join them and i've been with the brotherhood ever since. i have the most difficulty controlling my abilities, i still go a bit crazy on the full moon.

myrina: you're much better now than when we found you.

ralph: a lot of that is thanks to you. *smiles*

lucy: so, who are the guys who tried to kill us tonight?

alex: monsters who think they can go around killing innocent people. when we moved here after college we didn't know about them. we minded our own business and just tried to live our lives. this place is perfect, you see, because there is so much wilderness, no one will notice a pack of wolves running around in the forest. i wanted my friends to be able to be themselves and live a happy life. but because it's so isolated i guess that's why rafa and his gang decided to make it their home too. when i noticed that people were dying mysteriously i tried to investigate things, but rafa didn't like that and told me to leave. i knew from that moment that he was behind all of it, and i would have to stop him. that's why i objected to having you around so much. i knew that he would try to use you to get rid of me.

lucy: i see. but they're not like you guys. they're...they're....

ralph: evil. undead creatures from hell. but i wasn't surprised when i found out about them. if we "were-wolves" exist then i guess vampires do too.

quan: but what about the other two? the huge snake and that....that....creepy, veined, pale, naked, crawling thing!

alex: i don't know.

lucy: i do. the snake is a shape-shifter too. before you guys showed up she was a woman, but she wore a black veil, i didn't see her face. and the thing...the others kept referring to him as the incubus, whatever means.

ralph: it's a kind of demon known to haunt people, especially women, and rape them in their sleep, begetting demon offspring through the victim.

everyone looks shocked and disgusted.

alex: how do you know that?

ralph: you hear all kinds of stories when you're a wandering nomad.

lucy shudders. myrina puts her arm around her.

myrina: don't worry kid, he knows not to mess with one of the brotherhood.

alex: wait a minute, who said lucy was going to become one of the brotherhood? she has to go back to her mother and finish school.

lucy: what! i can't go back! not after all this.

myrina: but alex, she already is one of us.

quan: yeah, we fought for her and she saved my life. the brotherhood always looks out for each other. she belongs with us now.

kai: come on alex, she can't go back, not without us anyway. if we leave her alone they could just find her and kill her. she needs us.

ralph: kai is right. letting her go back to school without us to protect her would be a stupid thing to do.

alex: of course i would go with her. but i don't want to get her into any more trouble. and being with the brotherhood puts her in danger.

lucy: look, either way i'll be in danger. i'd rather be in danger with you guys than be in it by myself.

alex: i don't know. i'm just taking this one step at a time. maybe i could move back home and stay with you. the brotherhood doesn't need me anyway, you guys would get on fine without me here.

the other 4: what!

kai: you're our leader and our friend. of course we need you!

ralph: alex, it's very late and you're not thinking clearly. why don't we all get some sleep and we can discuss it tomorrow when we're fresh.

quan: good idea. i'm going to bed.

alex: ok. good night guys. *the others go upstairs*

end.

the next day lucy goes downstairs and finds everyone eating in the living room.

myrina: good morning lucy.

quan: more like good afternoon, it's 1:00.

lucy: wow. i slept in.

alex: we all did, and we needed it too.

ralph: lucy, what happened last night? you never told us how you saved quan.

lucy: oh. right. alex, do you remember io?

myrina: who?

lucy: my cat. she got cancer when i was 13 and my mom was going to take her to the vet to put her to sleep. i got really upset and begged my mom not to, but she said io was in too much pain and it would be kinder to kill her than let her suffer so much. i ran to my room crying and i held her in my arms. i remember wishing that there was something i could do to save her. i suddenly put my hands on her body and started thinking about the cancer going away, and i thought about it really hard. i kept saying "please help me cure her, please help me" and suddenly i felt io's pain go away. i got really dizzy afterwards and passed out, but when i woke up io was purring like a healthy new cat.

alex: i remember now. mom took io to the vet and he said there was nothing wrong with her. neither of us could understand how it just disappeared like that.

lucy: well, that's when i discovered that i could heal things. not just animals either, i never had to replace my basil plant because it was always healthy. i can heal others and i can heal myself too.

alex: how come you never told me? i thought you trusted me with everything.

lucy: i didn't want you to think i was weird or anything. *laughs* little did i know. i've kept it a secret from everyone until last night, when i found out you're the leader of a clan of were-wolves!

everyone laughs.

alex: listen, the guys and i have been discussing a few things and we came up with a conclusion. it looks like kai and i are going to go back with you until school ends.

kai: yeah, it'll be nice to see my parents again. it's been a while.

lucy: what about the brotherhood?

alex: well we all thought about it and it seems like we all need a vacation. everyone's taking 2 months off and going their separate ways. after your graduation we'll all meet up back here. all of us.

lucy: really? me too?

alex: yeah, we took a vote to decide whether you should join us. it was a unanimous decision. anyway, i can protect you better if you're with the brotherhood.

quan: big brother is watching you.

lucy: oh great. *laughs* so what are the rest of you guys doing while we're away?

quan: myrina and i are going to visit our parents too. and then we might take a trip to vietnam. we've never been there and it'll be nice to see part of our heritage.

ralph: i'm going back to arizona to see my family. my dad doesn't even know where i am or if i'm alive. now that i know how to control myself i'll be able to make him proud.

myrina: he's already proud of you ralph, i'm sure. he probably misses you and he'll be really happy to see you again.

ralph smiles: after that i might catch up with you guys and go to vietnam with you.

myrina jumps up and kisses him.

myrina: i would love that!

lucy: i'm gonna miss you guys.

myrina: we'll miss you too lucy. we're all going to miss each other.

quan: group hug!

alex: we'll see each other again in the summer. and we'll have plenty of stories to tell i'm sure.

kai: yeah, lucy's prom is coming up. that'll be a story.

lucy: shut up kai.

the end.

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kierongillen · 6 years

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On First Issues

I wrote this for my last newsletter, and figure it likely should be added to the tumblr, just it can be added to the Writer Advice tag. Anyway! Sign up to the newsletter for more of this kind of stuff, of course.

Mags Vissago on twitter asked what people's favourite issue ones were, which spiralled into a larger discussion of what makes a good issue 1. That I'm back in the world of Number Ones with the new projects kicking off meant I felt like throwing in my assorted spare change. Also, it was a good way to avoid work. The conversation spiralled a bit, and I thought it worth trying to pull some of this together in a chunk.

There will be a lot of obvious caveats in what follow. I would question anything and everything. What follows below is what I consider pretty solid advice, but pretty solid advice collapses into useless dogma is unexamined. This is just where my head is at presently. Now that I've put it down, I'll likely set it on fire.

Firstly – most of what follows is about writing about a comic which tends to be a standard 20 page unit, released sequentially in a regular release schedule. It doesn't apply to graphic novels. It doesn't apply to comics released irregularly. It doesn't apply to any other form that isn't comics. This is stuff which is warped because of the economic construct. It is also leaning towards what I'd call a pop comic. These are almost entirely genre comics of one form or another.

Issue 1s obsess many writers for various reasons, both good, bad and necessary. Part of it is simply because anyone working in a serial comics in the Anglophone American pamphlet model have more experience in writing issue 1s than any other issue number (“Last issue” isn't an issue number, pedants). So you spend more time proportionally working on them and thinking about them. Perhaps most tellingly, in the present Direct Market, your sales of the first issue are what establish the sales of the latter issues. If you can launch stronger, you have longer until the standard erosion of sales makes the book commercially unviable in singles (and so also gives longer to gain a trade readership which means that doesn't matter). “How effective the first issue is” isn't the only thing which effects sales, but it doesn't for hurt.

Even for books which find an audience in trades, it's worth noting that the number of books which are huge in trades are often books that also did well in singles. The single is many things, including an advertisement, and the more part of a conversation the single is, the more there is an awareness of the trade. The weirdest thing about WicDiv being a hit was how much easier it was to sell more copies of WicDiv. Its success kind of sold itself.

Anyway – in the conversation online, I argued that the best first issues tend to do two things, which I unhelpfully described as “First It” and “Second It.”

The First It is includes everything which I would describe as good writing (good writing, for comics, includes everything, not just the words – it's also art, design, etc). You introduce everything the reader needs to know about your book to have a fair understanding of it. The “Needs” is key. It's not the whole book, but certainly enough to give a reader a fair understanding. You show the sort of thing you do, and how you choose to do it. Obviously not everyone who ends up liking the book will like it (or vice versa), but generally speaking, you lay out who you are, as honestly as you can.

(Worth noting this also includes possibly alienating some readers. If they're going to burn out of a book, I'd argue its rude to string them along. I've never done this as aggressively as I did with my first comic, Phonogram, whose opening caption was so noxious to basically show the door to anyone who wasn't in for this level of nonsense. Why waste anyone's time, eh?)

A competent first issue working inside First It principles will introduce initial key characters, delineate them, their desires and the world they operate inside. In the style you do so, the readers will get an understanding of the book. Frankly, anything which you reveal when hyping the book is almost certainly inside the First It.

In short: most of First It is actually The Pitch – or rather, showing you can competently execute The Pitch.

(A common form of incompetence in Pop Comics writing is failing to do that, and you end the issue with less information delineated than you got from the solicits. I read a first issue in the last year, and found they'd printed the pithy series blurb on the back cover, none of which was explained to any degree in the comic I had just read.)

The Second It is where it gets tricky. This is more rarely pulled off, and also much more subjective, but it's also something that the vast majority of hit books have managed to do, which makes me suspect there's something powerful to at least consider.

The Second It is giving the reader something that wasn't in the pitch. This normally speaks to the actual truth of what the book actually is, or at least gives a sense of the book's direction. It can be a big huge genre twist, but it doesn't have to be that large. But it does have to be something.

(Or at least, it has to be something unless your core pitch is so unique, so magical, so entirely without precedent that you don't have to worry about any of this tawdry nonsense.)

There's a TV first episode which is often mentioned by other writers when talking about this. It's The SHIELD. Spoilers, obv. The show is about corrupt cops. We know this going in. Hell, you know that throughout the first episode, as it's delineated carefully (This is all First It stuff). However, in the final scene, the lead shoots another cop who's on his team. That's the Second It. It lets us know exactly how corrupt these cops are, and also immediately lets us know the direction of the series. For the genre it's working in, that's a strong opening.

A book that is competent with First It regularly fails to hit Second It in various ways, but there's two which I see a lot.

Firstly, the last page reveal is actually just the book's high concept. As in, what the reader already knew by how the book was described to them, or included in solicits. If it was Harry Potter, it'd be “You're a Wizard, Harry.” This means that a reader has paid $3-5 dollars to learn what they already knew. No matter how well executed, this tends to be a turn off. It's also a turn off which is 100% great writing if you were writing (say) a Novel. But there you aren't selling sequential units.

Secondly, the last page reveal is a big event which the reader simply doesn't care about. This is a failure born of the rest of the book, and shows well how First It and Second It aren't separate units. If you know the Second It is reliant on some emotional underpining, you need to make sure that is established. A classic example would be (say) a long absent relative turns up. If the issue has not spent sufficient time making the absence of the relative to your cast of absolute interest, that isn't going to land.

In Doctor Aphra 1, her Dad turns up into the end, and that's not set up at all in the issue. However, my hook was “her dad has turned up... and he's just fucked over Aphra.” The latter is the reveal of character about the former, and is the directional thrust. It's not about the existence of her father, but rather her father's character and what that means for Aphra.

Yes, you should be raising an eye on “Last page Reveal.” The commonality of “Last Page Reveal” in these books is another question, and a hint towards how this kind of writing has been codified. There's been a lot of people reverse engineering BKV, shall we say. “Reveal in final scene” may be a better way of thinking of it, and even that is too small for my liking.

To talk about WicDiv for a second, it's a complicated mess of a book, but our First It is establishing a bunch of the key mythology, vibe, style and two lead characters. The Two Lead Characters feed into the Second It – which is “A Judge is Murdered in the Middle the Court. Did Lucifer Do it?” That only even vaguely works because we spent the majority of the issue delineating Lucifer as much as we did Laura. The Second It for WicDiv was signalling this is a genre work with an actual plot, and not just ambling along Phonogram style. First It was “Here's our world” and Second It is “And here's where we're going next.”

You may be reading the above and thinking of it as a checklist. “Must make sure I have Two Its.” That would be a mistake. The two Its are an analytical tool. It's an editing principle when approaching your own material of what narrative unit makes a useful, accurate and compelling introduction to the story. In my case, it's looking at my story, recognising the point where First It (introduction to the book) and Second It (reason to continue reading book and hint at immediate direction) have been fulfilled to my satisfaction, and then writing and editing to ensure I include them both.

In the case of WicDiv, I looked at the story and thought “I have to get to the murder of the Judge.” I could have perhaps ended with Lucifer having just murdered the assassins who tried to kill her... but all that would have shown is “these pop star gods who claim to be gods have godly powers” and I said that in the hype. Perhaps I could have worked out a way to make that work if I played with the sympathy towards Lucifer differently, but that still felt like reiterating the pitch. The Death Of The Judge leading to a murder mystery was clear and direct. That's what I had to get to.

It's also worth noting that many of the most successful first issues (and some of the biggest hits of recent years) are longer than 20 pages. Y: The Last Man (which is a clockwork masterpiece of First-Issue-ness) was 28 pages. Saga is double issue size. Monstress was triple sized. For me, WicDiv was 30 comics pages. Spangly New Thing is 34. Longer issues both let you spend more time making sure First It is done well, and more time to push towards whatever beat you consider to be Second It.

(That's another reason why the Second It can come at the end of an issue. By definition, it's the point you were trying to reach. When you've reached it, you can stop.)

And as another side point, it's also worth remembering that How You Hype The Book can vary hugely. If I'd sold WicDiv as “Pop Stars who claim to be gods...” perhaps Lucifer having actual powers would have been enough for a Second It. I suspect not, because clearly me even posing the question is implicitly promising the reader the answer is “Yes.” That'd be like me selling an autobiography with “Does Kieron Gillen have magical powers?” and then showing across 300 pages that no, he's just a dude. But still: you get the point.

That's enough on this. It's interesting stuff to think about, because this is only a tiny fraction of it. If Issue 1 is everything that has to be in issue 1, what is Issue 2. Issue 1s are the hardest worked issues in a series, because you're preparing for so long, but Issue 2 are a special kind of heartbreaker.

I said it at the top, but all of this is also for a certain mode of comics. And not even all that certain mode for comics. The First Error I listed above? If a writer is figuring it's primarily a trade based book, and they feel it's not worth distorting issue 1 to serve the single, that could be a fine choice. I sometimes wonder if I'd have been better ending THREE's first issue with the Spartans turning up rather than the slaughter.

That's still a cliffhanger. You can go more extreme that that. When I launched WicDiv, and Warren and Jason Howard were launching Trees, I felt entirely ashamed having done this Pop Thrill Banger and Trees just cuts at the end of an issue and assumes you'll be back in month. It believed in a maturity in the audience and a willing to follow it wherever it went. That's something I find entirely admirable.

Point being: the above is only useful tools in so far as it aligns with your goals as a creator.

#writer advice

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elsakey · 7 years

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Boruto Episode 2: My Review

What I Liked About It:

1. Boruto and Shikadai’s Brotp

- Yup, this takes the number one spot again because the anime has deigned to bless us all with more of moments of this awesome brotp. Boruto claiming that he’s gonna ‘make his mark’ ala Hiccup Haddock style? Nope, Shikadai is ready to shut down any behavior that’ll get him into further trouble. Kids loudly whispering behind Boruto’s back? Shikadai makes sure to remind Boruto not to pay attention to that nonsense and do his own thing. Inojin blurts out that Boruto is probably riding in on his dad’s fame? “Inojin, take that back.”

Seriously though, so far Shikadai is THE big bro of the Boruto anime. Lemme just list all the other brotp moments I loved from this episode:

His concern when Iwabe was first roughing Boruto up

His trying to stop Boruto from fighting Iwabe

His exasperation over Boruto possibly being suspended again, only to panic even more when Inojin remarks he could possibly be expelled instead

Totally freaking out and wondering why Iwabe wasn’t just allowed to graduate years ago when the fight gets rough

His seriously happy expression when Boruto wins

I seriously love brotps to the bottom of my soul, so all this makes me really happy. It also kinda ties in with a brief moment in the Boruto novel, where Shikadai was shown to be worried about Boruto after he goes after Naruto when he’s kidnapped by Momoshiki. Naruto & Shikamaru are possibly my favorite Naruto-related brotp on the show, and the fact that their kids are this close just makes me so happy (if I haven’t said that word enough already, lol). Hinata really made the right choice when asking Shikadai to watch out for her son.

As for Boruto’s side of the brotp, I like how comfortable he obviously is with Shikadai. “Lemme borrow your book!” he says, like a true lil bro. The fact that he doesn’t rudely brush off Shikadai’s attempts to keep him out of trouble or simply give him advice.

Ugh, can I just have some flashbacks of Boruto and Shikadai playing together as tots at a family picnic or something?? Now I seriously need some fanfic on how their parents get along well which leads to them getting along well and with some Konoha politics in the mix (help I need this like air)!!!

2. Boruto

- I just love Boruto. I think this episode (and the one before it) did a good job in subtly highlighting how he is different from his father and thus his own unique character. He is a bit more coolheaded than his dad, that’s for sure. When he asked Denki about who had a higher score than him, I was literally like, “Uh-oh” because I thought that he would get all competitive and try to challenge the kid...but nope! He just goes “oh okay” and later even tries to make nice with him.

He is also a bit more perceptive of people too (not that Naruto wasn’t perceptive in his own way- Neji v. Naruto at Chuunin Exams, anyone?). And he’s a bit more calm and nuanced about how people would react to him because of what he did. Man, I just love this kid.

3. Boruto v. Iwabe

So I saw plenty of people crowing about how this fight was an awesome return to the original fights of Naruto...and I agree, YUS. It really was nice seeing regular taijutsu again (also in the first episode too)!

I also appreciated how he and Boruto became friends in the end. Boruto recognized what was his real deal, called him out, and even helpd inspire Iwabe to come to class. Cool.

4. Inojin

Inojin really is a prickly character, lol. “Oh I’m just gonna say the first thing that comes to mind like whatever.” Pffft.

I like how he’s true to his values though. He doesn’t trust you, he doesn’t trust you. But he’ll change his mind if he feels it’s deserved, and he’ll even help you out when you need it. I really like how he called out those kids near the end of the episode for still whispering about Boruto, and wasn’t shy about making his own judgments and coming to his own conclusions about him. I am confused about his true relationship with Boruto (I thought they knew each other when they were younger?), but I’ll get back to that later.

5. ChouChou

I like how she had more lines in this episode and wasn’t simply comic relief. She also seems quite perceptive of other people’s true thoughts and abilities. And her fangirling over Naruto was hilarious.

6. Sarada

She cares about Boruto! Yay! I’m confused about her relationship with Boruto too though? In the Gaiden they seemed like old friends who knew a lot about each other, and she usually acted out of a deep understanding of his situation. Here, she tries to act like she doesn’t know him at all. I’m kinda confused...but love her anyway!

7. Hinata

I love that little Hinata moment we had. ^^

What Had Me A Little Confused:

1. Boruto’s Relationship with Inojin

So, like I said before...I’m confused about this. In the Boruto movie novel Boruto mentions how he remembers Sai playing with him using his Art Beast ninjutsu. So wouldn’t that imply that he and Inojin knew each other when they were small?

Plus Inojin was all, ‘long time no see.’ Did they not hang out with each other as much as they got older? Did Naruto becoming Hokage also affect which friends Boruto saw more often? I mean, it would make sense for him to keep seeing Shikadai since Shikamaru and Naruto work so closely together, but doesn’t Sai also work directly under Naruto? (don’t quote me on this, I really don’t know) Hmmm...

2. All The Next Gen Kids’ Relationships With Each Other

Like I said before, I’m confused about how these kids actually know or don’t know each other. ChouChou doesn’t seem to know Boruto well...but how does that work? I would think that Chouji and Naruto (and Karui and Hinata) would let their kids have play dates with each other when they were younger, right?

And again, what about Sarada and Boruto? Up until now, I had the impression that they were close friends. In fact, I was really surprised that they barely interacted with each other this episode. They really seemed to know each other well in the Gaiden and in the Movie. Hmm...

However, it is obvious that Shikadai and Inojin know each other well. From the way Shikadai reprimanded him about his bad habits and how he was familiar with Inojin’s ninjutsu, it was pretty much a given.

3. The Kids’ Personalities

I’m mainly speaking about Shikadai and Inojin here. In the Gaiden, Shikadai seemed a lot less considerate of Boruto’s feelings (more specifically, when he told Boruto that his dad had better things to do than play tag with him and when he laughed at his father using Shadow Bind on him). And Inojin seemed a lot less Sai-like in the Movie. Hmmm...

Well, can’t wait for the next episode! Hooray for Metal Lee and Temari and more friendshippy moments!!

#boruto #boruto anime #naruto next gen #boruto uzumaki #shikadai nara #inojin yamanaka #chouchou akimichi #sarada uchiha #elsakey reviews #what i liked and what had me confused #brotp: looking out for you

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periodicreviews · 7 years

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RWBY Volume 4 Episode 8

This episode addressed some of the things I’ve been wanting such as Blake talking privately with a parent and exploring the main plot. But there always seems to be something that drags these episodes down like characters doing weird things because the plot demands it or Sun ruining another emotional scene. Also not all scorpions are venomous.

Qrow’s Campfire Chat

I appreciate getting filled in on the details of the plot since there hasn’t been much main plot progression since episode 1. I’m glad they made the smart choice of jamming this “World of Remnant” segment into the main episode because it’s critical to the main plot and too easy for people to skip if it was a 5 minute extra clip.

If I had to complain about something, maybe it was too much at once? They go over the maidens, the gods of dark and light, and the 4 relics. The maidens were a review, but maybe the gods of dark and light could’ve been a story some innkeeper told them in an earlier episode. Then Qrow could’ve expanded on it in this episode saying it was true and that the relics were Salem’s true aim. But it was pretty much fine as is.

I’m personally still waiting for the actual “Much Needed Talk” where the characters talk about their dead friends.

Blake

I was honestly excited when Blake’s mom says that she’s going to keep Sun occupied by getting him to tell her stories about Team RWBY. I thought “Great, Blake is going to have a nice heartfelt conversation and we’ll get a real sense of her state as a character without being interrupted by comic relief characters.”

After some initial awkwardness, this exchange occurs.

Blake: I can look after myself.

Dad: I know you can. I'm sorry.

Blake: Why? Why would you say that?

Blake: What did I say?

Blake: How could you love me after that? I called you cowards.

I paused the episode at this point because I thought I had missed something in episode 5 when we last saw Blake. I loaded it up, skipped around, didn’t see anything, and came back to episode 8 to resume it thinking “what is going on with this show?” As the conversation goes on, it makes a little more sense as she indicates she’s talking about when she ran away from home/abandoned her family to continue working with the White Fang.

Later she says “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” and I guess they were going for some parallelism between her and her father saying the same things and how both feel guilty about what happened in the past. Maybe it’s too cliché to say “No, I’m the one who’s sorry” or something along those lines, but I felt like I needed something like that in between the “Why would you say that” line.

I’m really not sure what I wanted differently from this conversation. Blake’s sudden breakdown seemed to come out of nowhere. My confusion probably wasn’t helped by last watching episode 7 quite a long time ago.

I went back to episode 5 to see how Blake acts to see if there was anything to indicate this breakdown is imminent. Unfortunately all these interactions have Sun in them, so there’s really nothing to be gained from watching them again. As a character, she has no reason to open up to Sun about the guilt she feels since it’s between her and her parents.

You could maybe argue that she hesitates knocking at the door in episode 5 for this reason and just lies to Sun when she says “It’s been awhile.” She is also very paranoid and on edge in episode 3, but that all seems to disappear once Sun comes into the picture. I’m not trying to say someone has to show X, Y, and Z in order for their breakdown to be valid. Lots of people are very good at pretending things are okay and can sometimes fool the people that know them best. But it can help to give a few hints to the viewer to clue them in. I won’t go into how Evangelion does this perfectly.

Miss me?

Of course, Blake can only progress so far as a character before the mandatory comic relief literally breaks a door. For me, it really just ruined the scene. I can’t tell if they just couldn’t figure out how to end the scene and having Sun break in was their solution. Or if the production timeline just didn’t give enough time for them to finish the conversation.

I’m also confused as to how exactly he broke the entire door.

When Blake enters, we see that the door sliding instead of swinging. If you’re going to implement the “guy falls into room while leaning on door attempting to eavesdrop” trope, why did the modelers use a sliding door instead of just a regular door? Blake could’ve not closed it because she was too concentrated on keeping the tea tray steady. Then it would’ve been realistic for Sun to fall in.

Before I get too cynical, it’s entirely possible they actually thought this through a little more. Sun was running in to talk about the White Fang spy he saw and in his “country” ways, he just tried to kick open the door, expecting it to swing open. But then why didn’t the glass shatter instead of the entire frame coming apart from the wall?

Maybe it really was a rushed job to end the scene and they didn’t have time to remodel the entire building and the earlier Blake tea entry. I’d like to believe that instead of “Guys, wouldn’t it be funny if Sun barged in right in the middle of this important conversation? But get this, the entire door frame collapses and he falls right on his face! It’s not realistic but it’s funny right?”

Let’s not even talk about the door later being fixed immediately. I can understand this getting missed.

Sun, again

If it’s not clear already, I really do not like Sun in this volume. He is at least consistently annoying so I applaud the writing team for that.

After they spot the White Fang spy, Blake jumps off the balcony to chase them down. When Blake’s mom asks what happened, Sun replies “The White Fang is evil, I totally called it, and I'm bringing your daughter back.” I’ve seen some youtube comments with a lot of upvotes saying this was the best line ever. But if you really think about it, the whole sentence is weird.

“The white fang is evil” Does a spy necessarily mean they’re evil? Their slaughter of innocent people, sure, but the spy itself is pretty benign. Maybe this is more just in reference to the parents only seeing the diplomatic side, but that this spy is clear evidence that there is something more going on.

“I totally called it” When? There was no scene where Sun alone keeps telling everyone the White Fang are evil and no one is believing him, leading to this scene of redemption. Blake and Sun do this together in episode 5 in trying to convince Blake’s parents that the White Fang are evil. The viewer, all the students at Beacon, and everyone not in Menagerie seems to understand the White Fang are killing a lot of people. I guess it makes sense in terms of Blake’s parents, but it’s still weird to say he alone “called it.”

“I’m bringing your daughter back.” This part makes the least sense. Why does Blake need to be brought back? She wasn’t kidnapped, she’s chasing a potential threat. We know she’s a capable fighter too. She’s not like a captive in the house either. Why isn’t Sun saying “We’ll find out who that spy was” or “I’ll tag along in case she needs backup”? This dialogue feels reminiscent of the semi-patronizing language he uses in episode 3.

It feels very nitpicky to break down a sentence like this and I really only wanted to talk about the “bringing your daughter back” part. But the more I stared at the words, the weirder the line looked to me. So I went all in.

A small side note about the White Fang ninja spy. In my episode 5 review:

But I still feel it’s a stretch to believe both that she is a master of stealth and that she would also easily reveal herself. Why not just have someone overhear the boat captain drunkenly sharing the stories of the two Faunus who killed the sea dragon that was about to destroy his ship? Or just have some spy/double agent be covertly watching Blake’s family since it would be a natural assumption that she might go to visit them at some point?

Scorpions are sometimes venomous

I took the time to look up a little bit about scorpions and it turns out that not all of them are venomous. I had previously thought they all were.

I say this because I at first thought it was weird that Ruby was surprised that Qrow was suffering side effects from Tyrian’s attack but maybe they all thought scorpions were non-venomous. One could argue this is another case of Qrow's bad luck. But in this particular instance, it seems he just stupidly didn't seek medical treatment after being stung by a scorpion Faunus, when they had no way of determining whether he was venomous. Really Qrow? The guy who is like this super elite badass who seems to have traveled the world? And he doesn’t have the sense to be evaluated by a medical professional? Not when the plot demands that his life be put in further danger. They didn’t even throw in any kind of throwaway line that “We need to get you some help” and his reply “Nah, it’ll be fine, I’ll just sleep it off.”

My hopes for a post-holiday turn around seem to be setting the bar too high. Only 4 episodes left for me to watch and it doesn’t seem like the ship is close to getting back on course.

#rwby #rwby4

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