#this is ok to interact with & its ok to ask questions about it too btw

[hauntedselves]

here's the big self dx email i'm going to send to my psychologist. (the diagnostic parts of it at least). i prefaced it with a bunch of "please don't think i'm being attention seeking though attention seeking is part of npd which i'm self dx'ing as having traits of so if that counts towards it then you can totally think i'm being attention seeking but i've put a hell of a lot of time and thought into this i didnt just read the dsm criteria and decide i had it thanks~"

Schizotypal Personality Disorder: I know there’s a lot of overlap with autism and borderline personality disorder, but I really think I meet the criteria for a 3 of those separately. I honestly think I meet every single criteria for schizotypal PD to at least some degree.

Ideas of reference – I do get these, I tend to see “signs” and omens in a lot of things, like songs on the radio or a particular bird flying overhead. They tend to be small things that I notice and think that it’s directed at me or meant for me to see.

Odd beliefs or magical thinking - One thing is that I often see something nearby (usually my glasses case or something similarly non-reflective) flashing and when I look directly at it it stops, and I get the feeling that it’s being “cheeky”. I guess some of my more psychotic thoughts fit here too (I talk about them below). One thing I have is that I feel like I need to watch any plane or helicopter that flies over until I can’t see it anymore because if I don’t it’ll explode and then all the people will die, which will be my fault because I didn’t watch it to make sure it doesn’t happen. Even though I know that doesn’t make any sense and hundreds of planes fly around without me ever seeing them and they’re perfectly safe! I also avoid looking at myself in mirrors at night because the “mirror demons” can get me then.

Unusual perceptions/illusions – apparently dissociation comes under this which we know I experience a lot. Also apparently it’s fairly common for people with schizotypal personality disorder to feel like their faces look weird or not really recognising themselves which I struggle with, though that could also be dissociation.

Odd thinking & speech - I think this one is more for other people to judge than me. I think my thoughts are different to others but of course I don’t know other’s thoughts so I’m only going off people not understanding me when I try to explain something in a way that makes perfect sense to me. (I’ve had this problem with essays, where my teachers don’t get how I got to a conclusion or what my reasoning is when it makes sense to me).

Suspicion or paranoia – I get paranoid a lot when I’m driving and someone seems to be following me, for example. I’ve sometimes gone down a different street or taken a different route when I don’t need to so I can “shake them”. The two times I’ve been in hospital I get paranoid about the medication they give me, I’m scared it’s going to be some kind of mind control drug or something other than what it is. (Doesn’t stop me from taking it though).

Inappropriate or flat emotional affect – Also something more for others to judge and not me. Also part of autism so I don’t know.

Strange behaviour or appearance – Another one for others to judge. I don’t think I do have strange behaviour or looks aside from what could be dismissed as autistic awkwardness.

Lack of close friends, other than family – yes. I did have one friend but she stopped talking to me and I don’t know why. I didn’t make any friends throughout uni, (granted 2 years were fully online), and I was on good terms with the people in my class at Tafe but not enough to keep in contact with them.

Social anxiety – We’ve talked about social anxiety before. I remember when I was seeing [old psych] she asked about it and I said it was like a fear of being seen, as in known/understood. Like I’m scared of getting close to people I guess. Which I also want which makes it tricky! I don’t really want friends because I find other people so hard to relate to and figure out, but I do also want friends, I get lonely.

Obsessive ruminations – I do have these and I’ve talked about it below. I think a lot about things like violence and gore and cannibalism (ties into my werewolf thing) but it doesn’t disturb me. I think a lot about sex as well but not in a fantasising way, just… thinking about it. I often have the exact same thought multiple times a day, sometimes quickly and sometimes hours in between. It gets to the point where I tell myself “I’ve already thought about all this, stop going over it again and again!”. There’s one particular thought that I’ve had pop into my head for years, it’s the exact same sentence every time.

Dyscalculia: I’m not sure if this is in some other medical ballpark or psychological, so I don’t know if you’re the right person to talk to about this one, but I’m 100% sure I have this.

I can’t tell the time on an analog clock, I can’t tell left from right, I failed maths in high school (and just barely passed the easiest required level of maths in college) and I would definitely fail a maths test now.

I have to count on my hands for even simple maths, I can’t look at a group of something and tell how many are there without counting them, I don’t know the times tables (even the 2x table, I get to 12 and then I have to actually think about it).

I’m terrible at budgeting and knowing how much I’ll have left over if something costs whatever amount and I have however much money.

I never remember if Tuesday or Thursday comes first which I think is a sequencing problem that’s part of dyscalculia?

I can’t read maps very well, I struggle with directions and distances, and I struggle with time (keeping track of time, how long something will take, if something takes 5 minutes I don’t know if it’s actually been 5 minutes or not).

I can’t work out money, like for example when I worked at the shop on the cash register I didn’t know how to work it (because no one showed me) so I was working out the change by hand and always got it wrong (the customers would have to tell me which was always embarrassing!).

Apparently spatial awareness and proprioception issues are part of dyscalculia too which I definitely struggle with (learning to drive was scary because of this). (Also an autism thing).

Schizoid Personality Disorder: I think I have some traits of this but not the full on thing. This one also overlaps with autism (and schizotypal and borderline personality disorders) so I’m willing to accept it’s just that.

Doesn’t enjoy close relationships - yes and no. I like friendships but not making them, and they often seem a lot more trouble than they’re worth. But I still get lonely.

Almost always chooses to be alone – yes, I’m much more comfortable alone than with others. Some of it is social anxiety, some of it is just… it’s nicer that way.

Asexual – yes, we’ve talked about that. Though I would like to mention I’m also bisexual, on the very rare occasions when I am attracted to people.

Finds little pleasure in activities – sometimes, though I think this is more of a depression thing. I do struggle with anhedonia & avolition a fair bit though

Lacks close friends, other than family – already talked about above.

Appears indifferent to praise or criticism – yeah… I like getting praise but I also don’t really care if I don’t? Unless it’s something super important to me. Same with criticism, I don’t care unless it’s very important.

Flat/cold emotional affect – also something for other people to judge.

(These are from the Psychodynamic Diagnostic Manual):

Highly sensitive, shy, easily overstimulated – I’m not highly sensitive but I am shy and easily overwhelmed. That’s probably just autism though.

Fear of & longing for closeness – Yes, already talked about that

Emotional pain when overstimulated – I don’t really know what this means, unless it’s talking about emotions being overwhelming when you’re already overwhelmed? Which is true for me.

Feels like dependency and love are dangerous – I do feel like this sometimes but I think it’s more of a trauma response

Physically withdraws and mentally withdraws into fantasy – yes, but also a trauma/dissociation/autism thing

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: this one I’m not so sure of… I feel like the furthest away from narcissistic as you can get. But at the same time I relate to a lot of the more covert symptoms and experiences, though again that might just be the result of other things like borderline personality disorder and autism.

Grandiosity - One thing I attribute to this is what I call “selfish selflessness”, where I want to be the best at caring for people (mum, mostly). I want to be the most caring and thoughtful person but not because it’s a good thing to be or it benefits others, but because it would make people think highly of me. I’m thinking of the benefits I get from benefiting others. It’s so I will be appreciated, I will be the favourite child/friend/etc, I will be the most loving (and therefore the most loved…) – I’m doing nice things for others for me, not for them, even though they think it’s for them (and I let them think that). (Obviously other people are just happy that I’m doing whatever nice thing for them so it’s not actually a problem, I just don’t think this is why you’re supposed to do it!). I also see myself as superior to people who don’t do nice things for others. For example if I do something nice for mum but none of my siblings do, I think of myself as better than them.

Fantasies of power/success/ideal love - do revenge fantasies count as power, and imagining your ideal life [of being an unemployed hermit on a small farm lol] as success? Does “ideal” have to mean in a “this is what capitalist society sees as ideal” or can it be a personal ideal?

Belief of being special/unique - well… yeah… in a “I’m special/unique because I’m [insert marginalised identity] and therefore should be treated differently/better” way? like, “I’m The Most Mentally Ill”..

Requires admiration – I don’t know about this one… I do feel like I need positive/impressed reactions to my social media posts but I think that’s probably pretty normal

Sense of entitlement - see above

Exploitative - yeah, but like I said above, it’s a hidden sort of exploitation where others think it benefits them too

Lacks empathy - I don’t think I feel empathy, or at least not very much. I find it hard to believe that people actually feel what other people are feeling… how would anyone get anything done if they’re feeling other people’s emotions as well as their own! I don’t think my lack of empathy is a problem (I don’t lack compassion which I think is more important), I just wanted to make a note of it.

Envious or believes others are envious of them - Not really. I am envious in terms of like “I wish I was rich so I didn’t have to struggle through life” or “I wish I had a caring partner like so-and-so” but I think that’s normal

Arrogant - internally, yes, but not outwardly?

I think I do have fragile self-esteem & need others to boost it, but only to some extent. I’m also not a perfectionist.

There’s a psychologist named Elinor Greenberg whose written about “covert narcissism” which I think I fit some of. She says covert narcissists are conflicted about attention because they’re scared of it but also craves and needs it. I think that’s true for me, but it also sounds more like a trauma response than narcissism. She talks about using ‘acts of service’ as their way of being admired, which I mentioned before. She also says that people with covert narcissism have trouble with assertiveness and have trouble saying no, which we know I struggle with.

Some kind of eating disorder. Ones that stand out for me in particular: Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, Binge Eating Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa. These are tricky because it might just be autism sensory issues plus gender dysphoria and internalised fatphobia, but it also might not be. When I was living alone I would have definitely fit the bill for binge eating disorder, but since moving back home I don’t anymore. That’s just one to keep an eye on for when I move out again. Anorexia I think is more in my thoughts than my actions, since my actions (i.e. avoiding food) are more driven by sensory issues and executive functioning. But I definitely have thoughts and urges of food restriction. So another one to keep an eye on. I just remembered that we once talked about this and how it could be a sort of “subconscious self-deprivation”, like a “you don’t deserve to eat” thing rather than a “don’t eat so you’ll get skinny” thing. Though it definitely has elements of both. Plus the hunger cues problems we’ve talked about before, and the general disinterest in food and sensory issues. I also hate eating food in public because I feel like I’m being judged, which is probably around body image and fatphobia and maybe schizotypal ideas of reference?

Possibly Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder: we’ve spoken before about attention and executive functioning problems, and how it can be because of dissociation (and autism?). I’m on the fence about this one, I know ADHD and autism have a lot of overlap. I definitely don’t have any hyperactive symptoms (except sometimes restlessness but that’s probably normal now and then). But I relate a lot to what I hear people with ADHD say about their attention problems and need for stimulation.

If something is boring, I have a really hard time getting myself to do it, and we’ve talked a lot about procrastination problems.

I have trouble paying attention for more than say, half an hour at most. (I admit I zone out during our sessions occasionally…).

I have trouble planning out things like assignments, I find it easier just to jump in. But that often makes my essays seem all over the place and unstructured. (I also never proofread them or did drafts or anything which didn’t help…).

I’ve always had this problem where my brain is just. really noisy? It got better when I started antidepressants (I remember telling the doctor who prescribed them that my brain was quieter and she gave me this weird look) but it’s still such a problem that it interferes with getting to sleep. It feels like there’s “layers” to my thoughts, with conscious thinking on top and then underneath there’s subconscious thinking (things like, “I’m hungry”, “it’s raining” etc), usually a song or two playing, a daydream, a clip from a movie or a part of a book (I don’t think this is what most people mean when they say something is “playing on their mind” but for me it’s literally like there’s a DVD player in my brain with whatever part of a movie I’m thinking about playing on a loop)

Whenever I read someone’s experience of getting medicated for ADHD I always wish that I could try ADHD medication because it sounds amazing.

I also think I have auditory processing issues which seem linked to ADHD (also not sure if that’s a psychiatric thing or a medical thing).

There’s an ADHD expert (Richard Barkley...?) who’s come up with something called “sluggish cognitive tempo” which I relate to a lot. All that said, I know that ADHD has a lot of overlap with autism so it could just be that.

Possibly Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder traits: mostly because of my obsession with diagnoses, really. I had symptoms of this when I was a kid (repetitive hand washing, obsessing over natural disasters, impulses around symmetry and needing things to be Just Right…) and probably would’ve been diagnosed if I had seen someone about it then, but not now. I think it was probably some kind of trauma response? I think I ruminate a lot now (as in schizotypal PD) but not to an OCD degree, except I am obsessive about finding disorders that I may or may not have. I do find it interesting but I don’t really get any joy out of it, and it takes up a lot of my time, which is why I’ve thought sometimes about having traits of OCD (definitely not the full disorder though).

Complex PTSD: you’ve said “complex trauma” a lot but I don’t know what that means in a diagnostic sense. I think we’ve spoken enough about trauma that I don’t really need to justify why I think I have CPTSD.

Emotional dysregulation – we’ve talked about this a lot

Feeling worthless & guilty/ashamed – yes.

Relationship problems – I don’t know… I’ve talked a fair bit about relationships in the above parts. I do feel like I don’t really belong a lot. Like I’m different from other people in some deep, fundamental way and not in a good or special sense.

Plus PTSD & trauma symptoms and DID and dissociation…

I also want to bring up some reoccurring psychotic thoughts I have. The werewolf/dog one is there all the time, though sometimes stronger than other times (full moons always). The other most frequent one is being dead, which is there say… 8 days out of 10. I also quite often believe that my cat is actually a very lifelike robot. The other reoccurring ones are feeling like I only exist when others are interacting with me (which we already talked about and probably is more a dissociation/trauma thing but I think it could be both that and psychosis-ish) and sometimes I feel like I’m a prophet of some kind. I don’t know for who. It’s more feeling sort of like a god or like I’m supposed to have some higher purpose I guess. I also believe there’s a little wolf (sometimes a snake) who lives in my stomach and eats my feelings which is why it’s hard to feel them. None of these are particularly distressing except for the not existing one. I also used to think a lot that people (dad in particular) could read my mind, and to prevent my thoughts from being broadcast I would imagine a sort of cocoon around me that kept my thoughts in. I haven’t had to do that for a while, but it used to be multiple times a day. I think all of these psychotic experiences could be part of schizotypal PD but if they warrant a different disorder then I’m open to that too.

I recently found out about something called “pathological demand avoidance”… I absolutely did that as a kid and still do to some degree. That doesn’t really have anything to do with the rest of this email, I just remembered about it and wanted to note it. I guess it’s similar to the self-sabotage in borderline PD?

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phew. that's a lot. tumblr kept telling me there was a 4096 text characters per block limit lol...

(keep in mind this was written for my psychologist as the audience and not for general tumblr so when i say "you" or "we" i'm referring to her & i, not YOU or you in a general sense. and some of it i literally copy-pasted from posts i've made here about "i think i have x" lol.

[b3achysurfur]

I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.

Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)

Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!

Sorry this may have been long!

SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT

also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else

I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off

ASHLYN:

I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.

AIDEN:

omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.

now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.

it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.

yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉

only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁

TAYLOR:

okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.

We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.

At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.

Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.

Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷‍♀️ idk

Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.

What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.

Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)

Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM

TYLER:

I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)

So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.

I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷‍♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦‍♀️ whatever

BEN:

I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.

bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.

also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.

Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.

wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.

SUMMARY:

Ashlyn

pros:

- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore

- very relateable

-introverted but stands on business

-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced

- her hair

cons:

- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)

Aiden

pros:

- silly

- observant of those he cares about

- acts of service love language

- trusting/understanding

- quick on his feet

- good at assessing situations/making plans

- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA

cons:

- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom

- has ugly ass outfits sometimes

Taylor

pros:

- most socially smart character in sbg

- good at reading emotions

- good at comforting others

- aware of her surroundings/the people around her

- supportive

- social

- super pretty

- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz

cons:

- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬

- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)

Tyler

pros:

- deep childhood trauma/responsibility

- sacrificed himself for his family twice

- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast

- sees main cast as family

- he finally made friends

- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up

- copes by using denial (js like his mom)

cons:

- his jock attitude during S1

Ben

pros:

- hates violence

- angery at his anger issues

- ashamed of his past

- draws and gardens as hobbies

- compassionate and gentle

- soft hearted

- easily flustered

- very protective

- slow but steady quiet charater development

- a gentleman

cons:

- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)

THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm 😢

also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.

[lululawrence]

Strange story: I was at work the other day and dunkirk was playing on the tv and I was gushing and being very loud. So this coworker, was like, Cristal are you okay? And I was like YES! There’s Harry! I love him. And she was like, the first thing she said was like, “Is he gay? He’s gay isn’t he.” I KID YOU NOT. My brain malfunction so I was like after 10 seconds of silence “yea he is.” I for sure can’t remember what the specifics of Harry’s sexuality is. And she was like “is he dating someone?” SO MY BRAIN WAS LIKE “do I start larrying or WHAT?!” and in the end, I was like “yeah with his bandmate for since the beginning of his career” and she was like “but he has a gf?” AND I WAS LIKE YEA UM “yeah its pr, like mutually beneficial contract only” and then she was like what’s the bandmate look like, so your miss girl here pulled up a photo of Louis and the first thing she saw was this article about larry where their faces side by side and the first thing she said “OH THEY LOOK ALIKE” so once again miss girl’s brain malfunction and I was like… “what????” and she asked “how long have they been together?” and so like a loon, I said “um—over a decade.” my little larrie heart busrt a little when she said “Ahh, no wonder.” And then after a few minutes she was like “do I know the women he’s pr with???” and so I listed all the names, miss girl was SHOCKED. but ok, we’re alright and then she was like “Ahh it’s okay if he’s not out. His choice.” CRISTAL HERE GOT DEFENSIVE A LITTLE BECAUSE MY BABIES, THE HORROR THEYVE GONE THROUGH. And so I said, “um—closeting is not his fault??” and she then said “but why does he need all these pr???” and so with the patient of an angel, I told him “do you even know how homophobic the entertainment industry is?????!!!”

Anyways, that’s my short story. My point is, how do you let everyone know you’re a larry in a concert without telling them that you very explicitly? And what do you wear???

ads;kgjha;sdlfkjdas;lfksaj oh my word lmaoooooo i love you and your story lololololol

but also like the random questions at the end hahahaha like do you want a literal actual answer? i hope so cause that's what you're gonna get since i always try to code larrie so people can make the conscious choice as to whether to interact with me or not lollll

so like... at a concert, it depends on which concert you're talking about lmaoooo if it's a harry concert, you wear some louis merch and bring all the rainbows. if it's a louis concert, you wear harry's rainbow tpwk tee and again bring all the rainbows. that...... well i feel like that usually gets the point across lolllll but as for what i wear, again if it's a harry/louis (or in the old days, 1d lol) concert i wear all the rainbows. i have big rainbow, bi, and ace flags so i usually rotate between those, i have my eye makeup and nails usually done in the colors of one of those flag options, and then i'm usually also participating in a rainbow fan project, so i'm then also passing out rainbows. so i am essentially a walking rainbow. i also figure that is like... half the job done, yeah? i still bring rainbows to niall's shows too btw but they are much smaller usually and not as overt. because niall's shows just don't feel the same as harry and louis' lolololol and honestly, who needs to advertise as a larrie at a niall show anyway? hahaha

but yeah. i actually tend to more just try to advertise myself as PRIDE FRIENDLY rather than a larrie specifically, but i did once (or... twice i think actually) wear harry's rainbow tpwk tee to a louis show. and one of them was in detroit in 2022 and louis defo pointed at me a few times because it took me a hot minute to recognize and admit to myself that he really was trying to point at me hahahahaha i'd worn the shirt as a snarky way to get back at an anon that i didn't plan to advertise anywhere and i was never going to let the anon know even... i hadn't planned on wearing it to any of the louis shows, i just brought it to wear with my friends on travel days hahaha you probably don't care about any of this lololol

soooooo does that... answer your question? i hope so haha if not let me know and i'll try not to get so distracted this time ahha

[iheartmalewives]

"Paper Rings"

RUGGIE BUCCHI X GN!reader

You come from a royal family, always getting spoiled and pampered no matter the circumstances. When you met Ruggie Bucchi, you were rather confused on to why he was so materialistic and always appreciating the little things. Soon enough, you got to appreciate the little things too, and its all because of him.

"Omg zen is this inspired by Taylor s-" YES. SHE IS MY QUEEN. I WILL DIE FOR TAYLOR SWIFT AND I PRAISE HER. Ok that was cringe but you get what i mean...

I wanted to write this because i cant stop daydreaming ruggie bucchi with THIS very song. Credits to anyone who did it first btw ! (And credits to Xav for the plot ^^ )

short story bc ... Im running out of data.

When you and Ruggie first interacted with each other, it was awkward and uncomfortable. A commoner like him shouldn't be around a royal like you, it was obvious.

The way you acted though was really starting to get on Ruggie's nerves, its as if you were sheltered away from the REAL world.

You always talk big for some reason, throwing away foods that werent even spoiled yet, you don't even know much about 'surviving' and you seem to unconsciously say things about how you're a royal and had never experienced those hardships.

He wanted to teach you a lesson, an important one perhaps. Thats why he would sometimes lecture you about how you shouldn't waste food and how theres some people out there who desperately need it, and it seems to be working as you were slowly starting to appreciate things even if they werent valuable.

You learned a thing or two everyday with him and you both enjoyed your time together, you realized how much u fell for a guy like him.

Ruggie thought it was a miracle for a Royal like you to like a commoner like him, but soon after all that non sense corny confessions, you dated.

Even if you dreamt about a man kneeling on one knee, proposing to you with an expensive ring on his hand, you didnt care anymore.

When you dated ruggie, every little thing he gave you were much more valuable than anything in the world. Words cant describe how grateful you are to meet a guy like him.

"You know how you like "shiny things"?" Ruggie looked at you as you read through a book that piqued your interest. You stopped for a bit, placing the book down.

"Yeah. And what about it?" You replied, placing your chin on top of the table, patiently waiting for his answer. "Would you still marry me if I gave you a paper ring thats colored with colored markers instead of a shiny jewelry?"

You laughed abruptly at his question, tears threatening to fall down your eyes as you laughed even harder than before. He looked at you and scoffed, "Im serious here! Would ya?", He asked again, eyebrows furrowed as he glared at you.

"Of course I would! Is that even a question?" You smiled, ever so lovingly, making Ruggie's heart beat race. "My my, it seems that I have taught my princess/prince well."

AAACK RUGHIE BUCCH MY BELOVED RUHGGVIDIEISJABAKDVKQVSKQBAJABAKABAJ you know what im divorcing trey for this man/j kidding i love them both........so.... Ill just marry them both 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

[iworshipsappho]

HI YES I HAVE SOME CERES QUESTIONS OMG

1) what's her backstory?? 2) how is she with animals?/ any familiars? (i'm guessing there's some aquatic stuff involved?) 3) do they trust easily or are they cautious?? 4) are they comfortable with hugs and hair ruffles and physical touch in general? 5) are there any similarities between you and him???? 6) why did you chose the name ceres, which is very pretty and awesome btw? 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼

HI HELL YAEH :3!!!!

ok so here we goooo

hmm her backstory is what ive been working on for a while now, and yet i only have a few titbits here and there. one really cool thing i figured out a few weeks back is that he is ex-nobility, as in either she left nobility or was kicked out. this lil piece of information is evident in the way they absolutely loooove gold decor and jewellery. im still not sure why exactly they left, but i wanna get that sorted by this week >:)

they fucking loooove animals, to ceres, animals > human or like person interaction. her favourite animals are foxes :33 they've befriended a lot of foxes and she probably has names for each of them bc even tho he looks really stoic on the outside, he's a big softie on the inside but is just too scared to show it out. mmm also since they're an earth genasi, they live in the his world equivalent of a merge between a minecraft spruce biome and an oak biome, wait i think i have a picture lemme just check

^^^ they live on this island !!!!

3. mmm they used to be verrryyy trusting in their teens, but something happened that made her put up a hard exterior and protecc the guy inside :((

4. again, they used to be, but etc etc happened and he hasnt really had any intereaction with people in years almost, the closest he's come to that is with the gnome village nearby who view her as a deity (i just thought of this might not be canon in the future aka in 10 mins lmfao)

5. !!!!! MMM SO we used to be the exact same person but then ceres became more ceres than me, so while yes there are a lotta similarities, he's also become a character who isnt entirely me lmao. mmm. our similarities are probably that we both find comfort in our hobbies, writing for me and wood carving for her, and sometimes would prefer to not have any human interaction, yers in their case, also they used to be like reallllyyyy talkative in her teens but then Shit Happened

6. I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF THE NAME SO HELL YEAH THANKS FOR ASKING ME HEHE SO i always wanted ceres to be associated with the earth, so immediately i thought of like greek gods who were related to earthy shit, and my first thought was demeter right, but i didnt want it to be demeter bc demeter didnt fit the vibes i was going for sooooo i went hmm whats the roman version, guess what. it was ceres!!!!! AND THE COOL PART IS ceres is also the name of a dwarf planet, its my favourite one now sorry make-make, but like its so cool bc the name ceres combines 2 of my oldest obsessions, greek mythology from when i was 10 and space shit, which i was obsessed with till i was like 7 and still retain some of the knowledge i got from like boring through 3 encyclopedias on space lmao

💜

[revclver-jesus]

{{ ok. having watched what i think is all the new takaya scenes from near the beginning to the end... Here are my final thoughts!

It was worth the wait !! dfhkgskhgd

Takaya's great, the decision to have him develop a fixation on the main character is Iconic, he feels like a deeply weird and intense and erratic feral stray cat that has lived on the streets too long and gone completely haywire, and he's just the right balance of tragic and a little pitiful and menacing and heartless enough to not pity him TOO much. Like, you can choose to feel sympathy for the guy or just see him as a fun over the top antagonist, and that's an impressive line to walk tbh.

Jin is great, he's so much more emotional now, and to go with it they gave him such a sympathetic and almost melancholic end. The tone felt a lot more sad for him this time around, but his devotion to takaya comes across as really sweet as much as it is fanatical. And YES btw-- they did have Takaya do what he did in the movie and says Jin's name as he dies. So don't worry, all his third wheel simping did pay off and Takajin is still online skhgdfdskh

BUT........ I do have one major complaint. Though, tbf i kinda didn't really expect this to change, I just really hoped so. Chidori Chidori Chidori, she.... still doesn't interact with them! At all lmao! I know she spends 70% of the game bedridden, but she also doesn't utter a single word during the scenes where she's with them. It would have been so easy to have her make a single line of banter between the two to indicate some kind of dynamic or history. And when she's outright asked what she felt about the other two she blows the question off in just the right way where its impossible to read how she felt. I get Takaya not being close with her, he doesn't want to be openly close to anyone, but it is just very strange to me to have Jin say twice how much he cares about Chidori as "one of them" and being eager to get her back only for neither of them to say a word to each other. Such a shame, though maybe we'll get to see it in supplementary material/DLC who knows.

It also would have been great to see all three fight together, since they went through the trouble of adding that "takaya team up" battle, but I think the way they fight separately is symbolic so i'll let it pass lmao.

Also-- though this is def more of a long shot and less of a criticism, but in the manga the depiction of them as children really went a long way in showing them as lost and unlucky souls, ( like showing takaya go from sitting alone at the steps of tartarus to being a little boy still sitting alone in the dark ) so I was kinda hoping they'd depict them as children at some point! But that's ok honestly, they'd have to make more 3d models and all that lol

But no, yeah, overall? Really glad to see them again, and this felt like a major improvement in general! Lots more heart and nuance and more intimidation and power to them, I love to see it!

Oh and btw? their last names are indeed still in the credits lol. }}

[v-anrouge]

ok!! aster ur rlly private thats y its a bit harder 2 get a read on u wit just online personas alone but bc of that i dunno if u know or even notice but ur some kind of idol or icon that a lot of ppl recognize u for. some ppl look at u for support or even maybe encouragement sometimes forgettinf the fact that ur not just some sort of model or super strong guy who can handle anything. you do have ur own insecurities and are struggling just as much as everyone.

just a guess, but maybe thats why u said u were a "jupiter kinnie" reblogging saturn's post bc it was about being put to the sidelines and watching everyone else shine but you. i was abit confused but i think i peiced it 2gether now. maybe, in relation to ur community here in tumblr, you feel a little left out. maybe its because ppl see your persona as strong and so so so confident that they think that you can never be 'left out' because you are THE star, you know? ironic to your posts about feeling like a stranger that your moots barely talk to, most moots i know actually get excited on the occasional times youre active. There r some who even get genuinely upset or overthink when u dont talk to them bc u dont initiate convo and they usually expect you to keep the connection instead bc they wouldnt wanna feel annoying or a bother to you. (which is not ur fault btw because you are a human being with his own time and his own life and know that you are not a mind reader so ppl shouldnt expect u to cater to their worries just bc ur idolized as this super confident encouraging persona and get less considered as an actual person who doesnt know everything n can also have their own moments)

Basically ppl admire you like an idol and find u so unreachable meanwhile u feel a lonely bc it feels like everyone is so great but you. Aster, youre the best guy ever and everyone likes you a lot. mayb this could also answer ur question on why some ppl r a little nervous wit giving u thoughts n asks. I could be wrong bc i dont rlly know you irl but this is just an outsiders deduction

Reminder that this is just what ive observed from tumblr and moot interactions as well as posts and also im eepy and i hope u have a good day today (its morning in brazil right?) im wishing you best of luck in ur day

(u can delete if this is too uncomfy for u or mayb jus want to only read it 4 yourself)

(i could also be super wrong in judgement since i dont know everything but :333 i did mt best)

oh my god ii donf even know what to say to this to be honest i mxomowlfley dumbfounded like i thought I was a mysterious guy.mp3 but i feel so read like this is what's actually happening do ppl genuinely see me as an idol o don't even know how to process this oh my god????

[wench-and-jezebel]

Sherlock Holmes (2009) Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

[This reaction is sponsored by the Actual Snack Food I'm eating: I has a soda.  Be proud!]  Same!  Mtn dew!  It’s been a while since I had one… I’ve already drank three ☠️

Oh suspenseful music

RDJ!  He loooks so different without facial hair  [He does indeed]

Oooooof.  Ouch  [That was a very... awkwardly placed shimmy down to the knee tho… Buddy, why you getting that close?]

So like Sherlock’s thing. Is he’s really smart? Orrrr  [Ma'am-  Do you not know Sherlock Holmes?]  I know he’s a detective?  [Okay, hold up.  Pause… This is kinda a crucial bit of information ☠️]  Ok  [His thing is being observant.  And yes, being well versed in a lot of subjects, but-]  Soooo like shawn  [Yes, like Shawn.  Pretty much exactly like Shawn, but a little more drug addicted and differently fixated (e.g. not pop culture, and more science in general)]

Is that John?  [Yes]  Well.  I’m already seeing some Things.  “I like the hat”  “Thanks just picked it up”  [Also… "I thought I left the stove on" "You did"  DOMESTIC BLISS AT ITS FINEST]

Oh shit Watson got moves too  [Ma'am, Watson was in the military aksldjf]  Idk why I thought he just stood to the side like an npc  [Nah, he was an army doctor]

☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Oop-]  “Your colleague… won’t be moving with you”  [*simultaneously* "Your colleague?  Won't be moving with you, will he?"  Hmmmmm, why you asking, bud?]  ☠️☠️☠️ SBC

Aw man Watsons leaving.  Well, “Leaving”  [No wonder Holmes is moody]  Does he tho?  [I say nothing]

He’s like I must make myself look mentally unstable…. Oh I always do… damn

[Men will get on their knees in front of their best bro buds]  Detective bros? Crime solving bros?  Mystery bros?  Hmmm…   [Baker Street Bros]  YESSSSS OMG

[Poor pup :(]

Eww, not the woman  [Holmes not wanting to meet his best bro bud's girlfriend/fiancee]  

“You wear a jacket”  Why did you think I wouldn’t like this? ☠️☠️  [I said I couldn't remember it well aslkdfjalskdfj  It's been years since I saw it.  I said I wasn't going to stake my rep on it]

The smile.  THE SMILEEEE!  I LOVE RDJ

YESSSS

Oooof… Oh, let me fangirl over my love- your fiancé

Oh, ma’am… You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to

I THOUGHT HE SAID “YOU’RE STUPID”  [alskdjf nope]  BUT HES MAKING HER FEEL IT ANYWAY  [I mean, she did ask]  OOOOOOOOOOF

WELL DAMN, HE AIN'T EVEN PHASED [That's another thing about Holmes... He does tend to be a bit arrogant.]  

What is happening?!?  [Holmes boxes]  Victorian-era boxing

Oooooof, sweeet lord.  This is hurting me

They are like… well damn

[Did I mention the drug-addicted bit?  He used morphine and cocaine in the books.]

Then you’d be a bastad.

Oh look: Bastad.

That looks unsafe

[Watson sulking]  Well, damn.  [Boyfriends bickering]  ☠️☠️☠️  Like every single line, I’m like.  Yep.  I be seeing the it.  [Yeahhhh me too.  Like I said, it was years ago that I watched this last, but now.  Now I see it.]  If I didn’t know there was hella fanfics I would already be checking, but I’ve seeeeeen it.  [I think most are about Sherlock tho.  Not Sherlock Holmes (2009)]  A lot I’ve read are for this one [Oh.  Well okay then.  I yield to your expertise.  I haven't looked ☠️]  I seek them

[Bruh, even this interaction verges on.  Things.]

Oh shit.  The way he slid into those bars

Buddy he has no sane thoughts in his head  [Which buddy?]  The bad guy

Ack.  Sweet lord

["Death is only the beginning"  They plagiarized The Mummy aslkdjfa;lskdfj]  Oh damn

Or is it 👀👀

Rachael McAdams!!!  I love her!

[This is a slightly less malicious BBC Musketeers Athos/Milady, btw]

Oh, burn: “And you’re between husbands”

[Actually, ma'am... I wouldn't put it passed you to poison an envelope, ngl.  Milady-coded.]

Ohhh Watson being pouty and jealous now  [What else is a guy's bud bro bestie to do?]

The screech  [Matt Meese-sounding mf]  Oh ☠️😂😂😂  

I’m ded.  He fell into the building

[WATSON]  “It’s nothing to do with me”  [LITERALLY DOING THE NAIL THING]

[“‘You’ means ‘us’”  "’You’ means ‘you’"  Watson, don't pretend]

Ackkk Marryyyy 😤😤 the name just keeps a bitchy reputation  (I say in defense of Sherlock being bitchy)

That’s me  [Lestrade?]  Yup.  Can’t pronounce the big word AND too scared to do my job

Sweet lord… Blech

[Bruh.  Y'all are saying the same thing at the same time.  That's kinda Subtext.]  😂😂😂😂

[Supernatural, you say?]  👀👀👀 Carry on my wayward soooooon

["Scratches around the keyhole"  *PTSD flashback from BBC Sherlock starts*]

Oooop- “Brothersss”  She means Bros

["Give her my best"  *Hates himself for saying it*  That's some right-fine pining, my dude]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [AND HIS SMILE WHEN JOHN CAME BACK???]  But.  But marryyy 😩😂😂😂  I love it

Oh mah gawd.  The poor frog

[I love their outfitssss.  Btw, this is how I dress.  Well, half the time.  The other half of the time, it's cargo pants and flannel as;ldkfj]  ‘Cause you were born in the wrong time  [This... Is true]

Moood

Thasss a big man

The screeeeeech

[Ring go bye-bye.  That feels symbolic]  ☠️☠️  [He does marry her before the next film, though, iirc]  Ahhh I see

“Brother”  [Sir didn't even remember the important ring he just bought in favor of running after his best bro bud]

Welp, he’s asleep.

Bitch better wake up

[Um.  Bud.  Buds.  That was–  Ya know what.  Okay.]  aka if you go we both go

Oh, Watson  ["Having been talked into going with you" Bro, you went back without a single bit of coercion] Don’t do the “I just risked my life for you then bitch you out for it” thing

[Y'ALL.  Y'ALLLLL]  “Steal your clothes,” huh?  [OUR DOG?!?!?]  Yep.  I can hear the fic ideas pinging off.  Like those troll hug bracelets…If you haven’t seen the movie you won’t get that  [alksdjf nope, I haven’t]

Like, how she was smiling?  Like… Bruh.  Ew

[Also, Watson acting like he's a paragon of relationships without Holmes’ interference when he just lost the ring he'd only just bought]  Right?!

Not me sitting here hoping this has the sappy ass (Sherlock) “fine, you want me to go away, I will”… (Watson) *miserable, comes crawling back*  [I KNOW.  SAME.  AND I CAN'T REMEMBER IF IT DOES OR NOT.]  If it doesn’t the fandom will ☠️  If the fandom doesn’t gimme 30 mins and it will 😭😂☠️  [I, personally, am a fan of this conversation being followed by serious personal harm to person 1.  Angsty though it is... Well, I guess that's on-brand]  I was gonna say that but my thumbs were cramping uppppp  [as;lkdjf]  Look at us being sadistic.  But with a happy end.  [As I said... on-brand]

Le gasp!  His son!

SOMEONE LET HIM PICK A LOCK!  SHEESH!

["I hit a dead end... and my bud bro bestie is fighting with me :("]  Now I sad

“Oh, dear” ☠️☠️

[Once again: the lighter, (only slightly) less toxic, less murder-couple-y Athos/Milady.  And the "less," btw, is by a smidgeon, not a bunch]

He ded

Damn… Jealous.  That’s a nice tub.  [You're about to not be jealous]  Ooooop ghost son’s a coming

[As I said, much less jealous… He just drowned/boiled to death in it.]  Blech.  BLECHHHH

So is this supernatural like… for real?  [Whyyyy do you think I'd tell you this?]

Poor maid

Is he like wigged out by dead people?  Sherlock, I mean?  [What do you mean by wigged out?  I thought I knew what you meant but don't see the context]  ‘Cause at the first one it was like he couldn’t look at the body. Then it seemed like he was weird when he walked in this room.  But he stopped this time.  [No, he's just observing.  And also hiding shit from the cops.]  Fair

I’m still feeling some type of way about her getting John out and not Sherlock too… and John just left.  The dishonor!  [I KNOW]

["Thanks for that, by the way"  John, give a bit more than that]  Dishonorrrr.  Hmph, and it’s a movie so any divorce arc we get is gonna be short-lived.  [That's the plot of this film: Baker Street Bros solve a case While Divorcing]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Go to Google: that's the blurb that comes up]  I bet you if I typed that into google there’s a fic  [With a worse ship name]

["Not us."  "Right, of course."  Ummmmm Byler Rain Scene-coded???  "What did you think?  That we were never gonna get fiancees?  That we were just gonna sit in our flat all day and solve crimes for the rest of our lives?"  "Yeah.  I guess I did."]  ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

😂😂😂  [Bad guy did the swoop again]

Nooo.  Noooooo.  I’m ded.  He fucking shot in circles and used all his bullets

Oh shit

OH SHIT  [GAH DAMMIT LET HIM PICK A LOCK]  OH SHIT OH SHIT  [He still hasn't been able to :(]  This is like a fuckign saw movie

["Don't get excited… because I'm taking off your belt"]

Sweeet lord

[I love her outfittttt.  Once again: that's how I dress alksdjflsakj]

He got to pick one  [He did!]

[Also, why does he look so uncomfortable when she hugged him alksdjf]  I KNOW

Oh shit

[Oh yeah.  Watch this.  I do remember this one, actually.  I remarked on this one even back when I first watched]  Ooooooof

OOOOOF

I LOVE THIS COP  [Also, he couldn't get Holmes to focus unless he confirmed Watson was alive elkasdjf;lkdsajf]

I KNOWWWW  😭😭😭

Ack bitchy lady lol

Run, Sherlock!  She’s onto you!  [She's actually being frustratingly not bad, ngl]  Hmmmph.  She just has a bitchy face, though.  Like, she squints menacingly when she talks.

[But also.  Buddy obsessing over the case because Now It's Personal]  I KNOWWW 😭😭☹️

[Bruh, it's Howl's Moving Castle.  House boutta move]  Now he has to eat a star

Sir.  [...]  Well, then.  [Cas: “You look terrible.”  Dean: “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lie every now and again” vs. Watson: “You look gorgeous”  Sherlock: “Somehow, I knew you wouldn’t leave.”  It’s the same scene.]  😭😭😭😭

A snek

I keep wondering why he keeps talking like this. (Like oh he’s being funny) but no. No that’s just how they talk ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Yup]

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello  [I've heard that somewhere before]  I think the new angel in GOmens watched Sherlock Holmes  [THAT'S WHERE]

Oh shit

[HOLMES GOT TO PICK ANOTHER LOCK]  You go buddy!

😂😂😂😂  He said soldier boy

[He.  he did not get to pick the lock apparently]  Oh noooo  [He had the key]  For shame

Shoot him.  Now please

[I love her vestttttt]

Oop- Lorge guy is back

[Teamwork makes the dreamwork]  😂😂😂

This man and just easily breaking bonesss

“Course I can.” Buddy. He is quite big. You sure

We know, John, we know.

Noooooo.  Nope.  That’s where I forfeit the deal I had with scary mystery man.  Fuck that.

Ooooooof  [A fitting irony, that]  Right?!

[This is a cliffhanger for the second film, btw.  Which we should watch... tomorrow]  YESSS

AWWW he’s leaving  [:(]  Poor Sherlock

[BRUH HE GAVE-  HE GAVE IRENE'S PENDANT TO HIS BEST BRO BUD FOR AN ENGAGEMENT RING?]  Le gasp

Wot.  WOT.  ["MY TONGUE IS GOING; I'LL BE NO USE TO YOU AT ALL"  CONTEXT?  WHAT CONTEXT?]  ☠️☠️☠️

["Our dog"]

Oooop. We’re there.  Being able to control anything with the touch of a button?  It’s the future.

– – – 

Jezebel: AHHHH!  New ship unlocked!  Well, it was already unlocked, but now it’s fully activated

Wench: Congratulations, my dear :)

Jezebel: Ok so movie end point... as was expected I love it and I definitely want to watch the second tomorrow 😁😁😁😁 I loveeeee RDJ so I figured I would too! 😂😂 but like my husband said when I asked, there’s not many movies I don’t like.  I’m very easily pleased lol.

Wench: We’ll have to do it tomorrow, then, after my work’s done :)

Jezebel: Hmpppphhh Maryyyy 😤😤 and I don’t even really have a reason to not like her minus her name is just attached to bitchy women… ok, that’s a lie, she’s bitchy too! 😂😂😂😂  Not, like, god awful.  But.. it’s the eyes

Wench: Ma'am!  Problem child.

Jezebel: But aside from all this. The main reason we are here… Sherlock and Watson… are…  Welp they are in love obviously.  Like. Duh.  You do not act like that with just a friend.  I see what the hype is about and if the blatant chemistry- er- “subtext” is there in the show too. Then yeahhhhh it just is not deniable

Wench: I.  May have just tuned out, my deepest apologies.  I got distracted.  By The Musketeers.  I’m making you watch it.  BUT.  Anyway… fair!  And other movie thoughts?  (I don't really have much to add... I've seen it before enough that it's just kinda.  There. Also, is hella late and my brain be unhelpful rn.)

Jezebel: I 👀 I can’t think of any.

Wench: Ma'am, you condensed the entire plot to the ship and bitchiness

Jezebel: Welp…. Help! Ask me about something cause my mind is panic erasing as we speak

Wench: … The bad guy?  The plot?  The acting?  literally anything??????

Jezebel: Okayyyy!  So The bad guy looks just fucking like Stanley Tucci! But it’s not and as soon as I saw who he was I remembered in another movie he is in I thought he was Stanley Tucci again lol. But this guy actually has been in a lot more big movies!  

Wench: alskdfj

Jezebel: The acting? Ma’am! How dare you! The acting was :Chef_Kiss: spectacular. Period. 😂

Wench: Hmph.  You said to ask stuff.  It's not like you'd answered that before.

Jezebel: The plot. To be honest I kept getting lost in them flirting and then trying to get my thumbs to type fast enough I was confused for a bit about what was even happening in the plot. Past there’s a bad guy who was executed but didn’t die, or maybe he did but then came back they don’t know. And he is killing people ☠️☠️ but I got it all now! 😂😂

Wench: …

Jezebel: Shush!  I gotta say tho… I love movies set in the past that have like some hyper advanced technology. That’s so simple to us now!

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair :) 

Jezebel: And… Okay, now idk what else to say 😭😭

Wench: Nor I; perks of me running on very little sleep… This has been the most boring Wench half of the reaction in the history of Wench and Jezebel, but it's fineeeee.  

Jezebel: 😂😂😂😂

Wench: It'll pick up for tomorrow... Sequel then?

Jezebel: YES!

Wench: Aight… til then :)

[thebibi]

Btw been meaning to ask forever: I'm curious about whether you've read the Ms Marvel comics (I'm guessing you have) and about your opinion on Saladin Ahmeds run and GWW's? I think our interactions have largely been about the mcu. But as someone who I'm assuming is similar to Kamala, I'm interested to hear your thoughts? 👀👀

Oh! I got Saladin's 2019 run for my birthday a while back, so this was a good time to compare them! Thank you for the question!

GWW's run is iconic to me because she had to set up so much stuff! Like how Kamala's powers activated, how her world worked, her family, and everything. Like, I never saw anything else like that. And she (along with Sana Amanat) embued everything with so much personality. Like Kamala's parents are not stereotypes, they are real people! Same with Aamir, Tyesha, Nakia, the imam, etc...I was so happy to see Muslims seen as normal people! The details made me feel like I knew this family in real life. And its great because they aren't trying to be a "model Muslim family", they're just A family.

I also really liked Kamran's storyline when it came out although I admit its really aged poorly. At the time I just loved the idea of her having other Desi reoccuring characters. I also enjoyed seeing a brown "bad boy" character compared to Bruno being "the boy next door" type. But the way the TV show handles this is way waaay better and Kamran deserves the world. And then we got Kareem who's also an amazing Desi vigilante so I'm happy we got more characters! I would love to see another Desi female superhero though, for balance.

Ok so like, comparing GWW and Saladin...I feel like he doesn't have to do all that introductionary stuff with characters, so he's just going wild exploring different plot lines with Kamala. Like there was Kamala being transported to an alien world and being called the chosne one, there was an evil suit that tried to possess her, her dad being sick, corporate zombies, and its all amazing. I just love how Kamala gets to be a normal superhero and not everything has to be about her religion and/or culture. I also love that the alien culture was inspired by medieval Islamic kingdoms...it suits Saladin since he's written epic Arab fantasy before. He's done a great job at balancing characters so we get to see Kamala with her parents going on an adventure, and then her and Nakia and Zoe going on side quest, and then her and Bruno...its really cool.

But I kind of think he's limiting himself. Saladin is not really advancing Kamala's character development more than her being an already established Muslim Desi superhero. Its kind of a let down. Like when the dad fell sick, I sort of wanted to know more about how Kamala's family was coping with it, but instead it sort of got wrapped up very neatly. But then I wonder if I'm being too harsh because like, am I, a Muslim Desi woman thinking about religion and racial identity 24/7? No. Sometimes I just exist. And I think Kamala deserves the right to be written like that too. So yes, I enjoy it and I would recommend it to other people too but its just not as groundbreaking. But still a lot of fun to read!

Hope that made sense. Thank you for asking me! I should read Samira Ahmed's run next...

[sergeantsporks]

thinking abt a what if scenario where my golden guard oc was inducted into the gilded fam (bc you said it was ok to write abt them interacting). first off, his name was achilles, he lived during a time where belos was still trying to gain power, so he ended up doing a lot of bad stuff for him. like. “killing entire villages to end a rebellion” levels of bad. in terms of personality, he was a very honor-obsessed, noble, knightly type. bc of this, he didnt question belos like. at all. and while he did not enjoy the atrocities he was committing, he thought they were necessary and done for a reason. “the ends justify the means” sort of situation yknow

naturally, you can expect him to not react well when he accidentally finds out what the day of unity Actually entails, and goes and violently confronts belos abt it. they fight, achilles gets the upper hand and wrongfully assumes belos is dead, belos doesnt die for anything tho and cuts his achilles tendon as hes walking away and finishes him off

i imagine that suddenly waking up in the gilded house would. kind of actively make his mental health worse. suddenly having to live with the knowledge that everything he did was ultimately in vain would eat him alive. physically, hed have one of the easier recoveries, he has a limp and a lot of stab wounds & bruises, but its not the worst evelyn has seen. mentally, hes kind of on a downward spiral from minute 1. he feels incredibly guilty abt all the crimes hes committed and all the people hes killed, and he wishes that both belos and himself had died back then. he could absolutely be convinced to stay at the house and even bond with the others, but this is something hes never going to forgive himself for. or at the very least, he wouldnt get to that point in recovery for a WHILE

theres also the issue that theyd kinda have to break him from a soldier mindset (but i imagine hes hardly unique in that experience). like he thinks his life doesnt matter and can be thrown away for anything. he immediately clocks caleb and evelyn as the ultimate authority in the household and treats every request and question from them like an order that hes not allowed to disobey. which would cause some obvious problems. he even bows to them in their first meeting. which they wouldnt like for obvious reasons. hed definitely need to learn to have Some self worth and learn that hes allowed to make choices for himself. hed treat being asked to help in the kitchen with the same deathly seriousness as if he was being ordered to the frontlines in a war

tbh i could actually see him getting along well with jason. he doesnt understand Everything he talks abt, but he does genuinely enjoy hearing abt noble heroes vanquishing monsters and all the other stuff from his books. i could even see jason suggesting the name achilles to him in the first place (id say what his dynamic would be w/ the others, but its been a while since i read the fic n i dont remember their personalities that well)

uhhh. thats kinda all i got to tell you abt the mental rabbit hole i just went down. um. he knows how to swordfight too and would gladly teach the others if they wanted to learn. what do you think of this? sorry for this ask being an absolute wall of text btw

Hmmmmm I think he and Cherry would... idk, not "get along" per se (in a "besties" sense), but just. "Same trauma!!! I've done some stuff that I am very not proud of and oh gosh I was a monster!!!" bonding. Despite being from VERY different time periods. That, and he and Petro would both have the "big help in the rise to power" similarity.

Jason would absolutely go sparkle-eyed infodump on him the instant he said something about heroes. I hope Achilles is ready for the whole Illiad to learn about his namesake, because Jason is going to recite it for him. As was initially intended by the text.

[primaviva]

oki first of all, hai !!! its been sosososo long since ive sent an ask lolololol [i think it was last blog theme], but i just wanted 2 ask u a question bcuz uve written abt minors as a minor before and i have my own writing blog on the side n so far ive only ever written abt characters that r adults in canon but ive been wanting 2 branch out 2 other minor characters [IM A MINOR MYSELF BTW . the link in my bio 4 info abt me is being wack n gross, but i am a minor TRUST]

but back 2 my question, how should i deal with potential backlash ? when i write n publish my stuff abt canonically minor characters, im planning on just putting an adults dni at the top or smthn [bcuz the idea of adults engaging w the potential content of minors i put out makes me feel a lil sick 2 my stomach ngl] but i feel like some ppl r gonna see it n start 2 get defensive abt it which i . rlly dont want 2 deal w [but i probably will tho lololol]

OK . yeah . thats it . ik u havent posted anything since february but ur the only person i could think of 4 a question like that

thank u !!! have a good day ^_^ [n i hope this made sense !! pretty please reach out 2 me in any way possible if smthn didnt make sense !!]

BANAHHAHAA THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF ME omg im so sorry for being like a week late to this ask buttttttt honestly my advice to you is to do nothing. that sounds weird but LEMME EXPLAIN:

at the end of the day it’s the Internet and people are gonna read and do as they please. for example, all of us chronically online growing up have read at least one smut before like everybody and they mama would be lying if they saw a minors dni and they read it anyone and now ended up like this (an absolute fein for fanfiction) because at the end of the day people are gonna do what they want.

don’t get me wrong, you SHOULD put that labeling because some minors may actually want to avoid that content. now, because you’re putting adults interact…lemme just tell you rn if a grown ass mf searched up the tag to find some x reader of a teenager then i promise you that a “adult dni” is gonna stop em💀💀 you should still put the adult dni, but no matter what an adult will interact with it because they gonna read what they wanna read.

my best advice is just to not stress about it. if you get backlash because an adult is offended to not interact with romantic content of a teenager, just block them. but besides that, there’s nothing really you can do and constantly blocking adults for viewing fics would be tiring and it’s never gonna end. ive been weirded out seeing 21 year olds like my fics of gwen, and when you notice it you can block them but it won’t stop them from viewing other content of that character. and those are accounts that actually put they age, most blogs are blank and you won’t even know. if you want to block accounts that shamelessly have their age but like content of minors, then do so, but im just saying not to stress about it because things like people interacting with content they aren’t supposed to is unfortunately UNAVOIDABLE…..it’s the internet 🤷‍♀️

hope this made sense and also HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY TOO SLIME

[ghoulfr13nd]

imagine i take your ocs into my hand like your dolls and say "i just think they're neat! :3" fsdhj

you know, that makes sense for them to be chaotic! i remember when i was focusing more about lyrics and wasn't looking at the order of the songs and suddenly was hit with Moonlight Sonata i was shooketh! so id say it is effective with stopping listener in their tracks same way the moments where Mac's true feelings show! but so i see it depends on the character what type of the playlist would work best which is a very good mindset to have!

i'm so attached to these little guys you have no idea! i wonder what kind of being Linsey would end up as since you're reconsidering! in your story there are only demons and angels or are there other supernatural creatures?

thank you for indulging me and my questions! :D

i love this art! is Finn trans? i care him 🥺 he has fisherman clothes and honestly he makes it work! and linsay this poor traumatized kid </3 maybe stabbing people isn't the best coping mechanism in the long run ;v; (i really hope you find the rest drawings though! <3)

oh btw, would you be ok with me telling you songs that made me think about your ocs? just to clarify i don't mean it'd be my proposition to add to your playlist, just me saying which song i thought had the oc vibes to me :D

(hmmm about my ocs, man, i have so many, think typical shounen anime cast of main characters sdfjksdf maybe ill tell just about my main MAIN one to not take too much time fdhsj they're called Klepsydra and in short, they have some type of regenerative powers: when they get hurt (emotionally or physically) they take life-force of things around them and use it to heal. It's not conscious on their part and they hate it. They had to learn how to repress emotions to an extreme degree and wear a very thick skin so their emotions couldn't get hurt and put others in danger, they constantly wear a smile and to an outsider they are very happy-go-lucky. they want to isolate from people so they won't get attached, they don't want to risk getting hurt from them or hurting them when they'd be in worse mood, but they also hate being mean, they are very nice in fact, and like to help others, so whether they want it or not, they gather a "small" group of friends around themselves. but when things get Real/Sad/Negative/Dangerous they are the first one to run + they are amazing at dodging hits and avoiding injuries :D two songs i simultaneously associate with them is Dashboard by Modest Mouse and Lonely Hearts Club by Marina fdhasj thank you for asking!!! ;v;)

music anon 🎶

ok anon….. ok anon..!!! ITS HAPPENING…!!! ITS REALLY HAPPENING IM REPLYING FOR REAL FINALLY!! i come to you live from the notepad on my laptop. i broke out the laptop for this. thats right. i'm locking the fuck in, and i'm not moving until i'm DONE. ok? ok. let's do this.

i am thrilled that moonlight sonata was able to hit you that way! i had the idea in my head that it would work that way, but i wasn't sure if it would really come through to anyone else who might listen. i'm so pleased that it did. i clap my hands together!! i am full of glee and whimsy! it means so much to me that you like them fr T_T honestly it's been really hard trying to figure out exactly how i want my characters to interact and how i want their story to playout, and i've really been able to get a clearer idea just from talking with you. your questions have been really helpful with my world-building!! with Linsey…. hmm…. see, the thing is (and also to answer your question) i'm not sure whether i want there to be more than angels and demons! and i dont really see Linsey as either. she's certainly a creature, but i don't know that that's necessarily a paranormal thing jshfd

and THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME QUESTIONS ?????? ARE YOU KIDDINGGGGGG IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT!!! and yes!! finn is trans c: he loves his waders lol sure, maybe stabbing isn't the best coping mechanism, but, you know.

also are YOU KIDDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES PLEASE REC ME SONGS BASED ON MY OCS NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER

what kind of story is Klepsydra's? :0 they seem like a really interesting character!! also very heart-bound. we are just two guys making fucked up little guys who don't know how to express their emotions like normal people. i'm sure this says nothing about us. ALSO I LOVE THESE SONGSSSS very very good vibes i love them. just realized i need to add them to your playlist!! so im doing that now.

ok cool one down!! see ya in the next one >:3c

[starillusion13]

Ok so I am bored to death soo questionnaire ahead:

Birth month

Hav u dated

If u could spend one day with an idol who?

Can u sing

Fav k-pop songs

Fav non k-pop song

Is yuta sexy?

Fav food

Fav drink

Am I annoying

What if I am a 40 y/o uncle?

Kiss marry kill (atz/nct) also me

Ideal date

Fav movie,series,anime,comic

Do u believe in aliens

Why are cows white

Would u date if taeyong was a fat cow

Are u cow?

Assign me an animal/flower/season/thing/colour

Are u checking facts

Ok that's it. If u don't wanna ans anz Q ignore it~

-🦀

wait some questions are- oh gosh am cracking up!

June (yes I am same month as Haechan Taeil Yeosang)

No (I receive a lot of proposals but no. never felt like to date coz I cant trust anyone)

Taeyong (I am really so into him like i just want to meet him one day just to say Thank you for appearing in my life suddenly back in those days. he has changed me a lot and taught me so many positive things.) Also, Hongjoong, Yunho & Mark

Yes I can sing. (I was in singing and dancing club back in school coz I can do both)

Right now I would say Box-nct dream but (been through, thunder, playboy, heart attack - exo, sun&moon, no longer, lipstick, sit down, lips, -nct 127, inception, arriba, fever -ateez, teddy bear, never goodbye, its yours, rainbow -nct dream, after midnight, poppin love, domino, all for love, no one but you -wayv, wish u were here, line em up - superm, Im unhappy, new world - aespa, sunrise, summer rain -gfriend)

else from kpop (dowtown - allie x, I'm not her - clara mae, eastside - halsey, ciao adios - anne marie, all we know - chainsmokers, i like you so much you'll know it, know me - gemini, on the loose- niall horan, arcade- duncane laurance, 6 feet under -bellie elish, fetish - selena gomez...I listen to non kpop more so if I start with all then it'll be about a post only for songs) I listen to songs almost whole day so theres a big list...sorry but I literally love when someone asks me about my fav songs.

Of course Yuta is sexy...comeon that video of him stretching and his butterfly tattoo peeking beneath his shirt is still imprinted in my head. His whole appearance is what some fans their idol to be.

Food,I'm not a foody person. I often skip meals. but I love cakes and ice cream a lot.

Smoothie (I try those special ones from every cafe, I love it)

of course not. Never, if you ask me 100 asks a day, I will still answer u. I am always online coz my studies r online related so just I take time to answer but u cant be annoying. I love to interact with u so much. you are the sweetest anon. I am glad to be your friend.

It's okay. (If the uncle is feeling uncomfortable to share his age with younger people then fine but if he is sexualizing or making dirty jokes with a younger person who is half of his age then he should feel shame on himself like how are you treating someone of your child's age also I have followers who are almost 40 and I have fun with them in some topics even in real, I engage in a convo with elder people too fast)

sorry love but kill - you coz no one comes before ateez n nct

kiss - NCT (this is literally like choosing btw mom n dad)

marry - ateez (age diff is perfect to marry lol)

to be honest if I could date someone, i would have dated Yunho (caring, soft, a perfect body proportion (im not pervert i swear), passionate about his belongings, a bit dominative but not like those in ffs, romantic, smart, can cook, sassy, cute, gentleman, hot) Taeyong and Hongjoong should not see this

Fav movie - interstellar( i have watched it 7 times not kidding, I love space a lot), I literally watch all youtube videos on space and its history, series- theres few in my language which r too good but I dont think they have translation ver. , if u say drama then (meteor garden, put your head on my shoulder, love o2o, vincenzo, extraordinary you, doom at my service) Im not a anime/comic person but my bestie is.

As I love space so certainly I believe in aliens and some unnatural events happened on earth.

Cows white...but I see cows of different colors, but those white ones who are due to pigmentation reason dw they get pretty privileges lol

Why will I date a cow? oh gosh no. Honestly, he is too thin to be a cow and cow doesnt have those sharp jawlines. he could have been a knife, I would have used it regularly.

If I were a cow then only it would have been possible to date a cow Taeyong.

Animal - fox (dk but I felt like it)

flower - sunflower

season - summer

thing - ribbon

color - red

assign things r very random but I trust my instincts and they told me these all

checking facts (?) check the facts go check that check the stats go check that.

WOW LOOKS LIKE MY WIKIPEDIA

[kanmom51]

JM 20 April 2020 Vlive

Anon ask:

Wait was this JK in Jimin and RM's vlive? At 3:27 youtu. be/MWTKy6R7y0g?t=207 the way RM side eyes whoever starts humming and tries to start whistling over whoever it is. Sounds like JK. Its definitely not JM. Its someone in the room. You can tell by the way RM cut his eyes quick. BTW, if that is JK, why hide it? He not allowed to be in a live with RM & JM for some reason or was he waiting on JM and they didn't want anyone to know? BTW watch that entire video, its a good reminder of sus Jikook.

Jimin's Vlive 14 April 2020. Special guest - RM.

Your link.

Ok, let's talk about this Vlive anon.

This is JM's Vlive, that he 'invited' RM to join.

JM starts the Vlive by saying he invited RM to join him, but RM is already 13 minutes late, so he decided to start without him and is waiting for RM to arrive.

JM isn't alone in the room even prior to RM arriving. He keeps looking sideways, behind the camera.

and:

He is kind of singing the "come in, please"... Is he meaning the viewers or the person that was there with him?

JM does this several times, the looking at someone else there.

He keeps looking sideways, smiles, giggles, being interested in something that is going on there off camera.

JM has the camera situated far away from him, to allow the bigger angle (to fit him and his late guest in). I mention this, because at some point, before RM arrives JM wants to read the comments but can't, as the camera is too far away from him, so he has to get up and close to the camera to read them saying how hard it is, again, looking sideways and giggling. Then he has a phone handed to him to be able to read the comments, by whom you may ask? Well, me too.

All of this prior to RM arriving.

If JK was there, why not show him? This question keeps coming up time and time again. There can be several reasons for that, one of them, this being a JM & RM scheduled Vlive, and JK being there, perhaps waiting for JM or just lounging there is not a piece of information they want to share with the viewers.

RM arrives 5 minutes into the live. This is just as JM gets up to get a device to read the comments. JM got up to get a device, but sits back down without one.

In the meantime, RM arrived and is getting ready to join, and you can hear what seems to be whispering in the background.

JM gets back up again, gets close up to the camera to read the comments while waiting for RM to get ready.

Then JM is handed a phone to read the comments on, saying "thank you" to whomever it was that handed him that device.

At around 7:30-7:33 min. you hear a sound, kind of a "ah" and JM looks back behind the camera and continues to talk. To me it sounded like JK, call me crazy.

At this point RM comes in apologising he's late, and they get into their pre-planned Vlive.

Jimin says to RM he wants to make a slogan for their Vlive, telling him that fans have a nickname for them: Mini and Moni. Once again, showing just how much they are aware of what's going on in social media.

RM is so funny. At some point he asks JM if this is streaming live, like what? He then says he thought JM was recording it, and turns to the camera to say hello, lol. Didn't he know they were going live? Obviously he knew the content was pre-planned, but maybe thought JM was recording and the was going to upload, idk.

Then at 11:53-11:56 min. RM is holding the whisk and asking what it's called. Someone says something in the background, not translated, sounding, again, like JK. Perhaps answering RM's question inadvertently or maybe not inadvertently because JM looks in his direction a second before he talks. And RM looks at whoever said it and kind of lingers there. This is clearly neither RM or JM saying the word.

Both keep looking at the other person there once in a while.

At 13:31-13:35 JM goes off camera to bring hot water. At some point he isn't talking and RM looks again in the direction of whoever was there and is acting kind of strange, uneasy, nervous. Then JM starts talking again and comes back. Did he stop to 'interact' with whoever was there? RM's reaction/behaviour was kind of sus at this point.

15:25 min. again, whoever is there must do something and they both look up at him, again, lingering.

They both keep looking in that direction randomly. But it's clear there is someone there. This keeps going on all the way through the live.

19:37 min. approx. again, sounds like someone says something and they both look up at him.

20:40 min. RM asks JM where he found the music he put on in the background from, and JM says he listens to it while doing the dishes, only to, once again, look in the direction of whoever it was that was there. Later on the dishwashing subject comes up again, JM insisting he is really good at washing the dishes, again, his gaze seems to find it's way in the direction that is not RM or the camera, lol.

At some point they are both struggling to read the comments, getting up closer, and I wonder what happened to that device JM had to read the comments on? Did it go back to it's rightful owner (cough, JK, cough)?

27:50 min. here comes in the humming.

Now let's get the context here. JM had kind of Jazzy music going on. He stops the music they talk about it and RM starts whistling it.

This could be JM humming, although it doesn't quite seem like it's him, doesn't really sound like his voice, and also the source of the humming seems to be from behind the camera.

But RM's reaction, that's what really makes me believe this isn't JM. The second the humming starts RM looks in that direction, the same direction where that certain other person seems to be throughout the live and starts to whistle quite loud immediately and looking into the camera, to perhaps cover over the humming?

RM does whistle once in a while, but this specific instance was super suspicious.

You already know what I think about the identity of the person there. It's JK. Yes, it's JK. And yes, he is the one humming in the background.

29:35 min. RM looking, yet again, in the direction of that person (I think that by now we have established there is a person there and that I believe that person is JK), only to be followed by a sound off camera. Could have been the sound of a door closing. Perhaps the person that was in the room had to go, left the room and the door clicked close behind them.

30:52 min. RM says JM's arm is trembling. JM says how he is getting weaker, and then, comes the JK mentioning, because, how can we get through a JM Vlive without mentioning JK? Really quite impossible. JM says: "I've never stood against Jungkookie recently". RM answers "that's the same for all of us", lol.

End of the Vlive they have to get up to turn off the camera. That would answer the question if there was a staff member in the room, perhaps handling the camera, and that is the person they were looking to or at. The answer to that would be no. JM was the one handling the camera.

Just one more to add to the suspicious Vlives list.

[aropride]

not a question, but rather a command.

Hand over the goddamn c!Ranboo and c!Beeduo headcanons.

OHHHH IM SO GOOD AT THIS ONE

ok . ok. ok. *cracks my knuckles* *stretching like im abt to play a Sport Game*

c!ranboo . he/they or no pronouns depending on the Vibes. doesnt label his sexuality. not a fan of using words to describe himself at all actually and uses pronouns just bc he knows it makes things easier for other ppl

c!tubbo he/they exact opposite LOVES labels. demiromantic + gay. (fuck u *arospecs ur characters*)

both of them r neurodivergent bc i say so (im writing (/thinking really hard about writing) a fic rn abt them being nd and learning 2 accept themselves n each other Btw im so excited) here r my ideas for their nd traits

ranboo is autistic. tubbo is also autistic. i think we should have more autistic rep in media

ranboo ocd. u will know about this head canon if u followed me last week bc my url was ocdranboo, which is a banger.

tubbo adhd. tubbo SO adhd. someone help him

tubbo also dyslexic. cc!tubbo is so it would feel wrong for c!tubbo not to be fhsjhdf

c!ranboo repeats words a lot to try to say them "right," can get stuck saying certain words / sentences again and again until it's perfect. he hates eye contact.

hes very texture sensitive n only likes certain foods for that reason, altho he cant always remember which foods he likes n which ones he doesnt. hes also very sensitive to bright light, both due to sensory issues + from being from the end which is darker than the overworld.

he also sees person to person interaction sort of like a video game and relies on trial and error to figure out how to do conversations "right" (right by nt standards).

in terms of ocd he has more intrusive thoughts n repetition n checking compulsions than anything else, no cleanliness ocd im tired of that being the only symptom thats talked abt. he always goes back n checks things n u can often find him doing things in 3s or 7s.

hes very prone to overworking himself and trying too hard to do things the way he sees as correct which exhausts him and he often works far too long at things like mining because he wants to do them right and he wants to get as many resources as possible (to prove himself to be a worthy partner :') )

c!tubbo is about the exact opposite in terms of getting things done in that he Doesnt. he gets overwhelmed very easily n it's only gotten worse as he's gotten older. he frequently has complete shutdowns bc of executive functioning issues n will just Do Nothing and hate himself about it.

however hes also very hyperactive and hyper focuses easily. any topic that is even slightly enjoyable he will spend hours researching, leading to headaches from sitting in the library trying to read and inhaling dust all day.

he masks a lot due to anxiety n tries to appear as "normal" as possible which is often a train right straight to dissociation.

he scripts out conversations with everyone but close friends and will go blank when someone goes off script- like if he goes to buy two lemonades and they say theyre out of lemonade it takes him quite a few seconds to process it, and longer to try to create a new script with the new decision, which leads to very stressful situations when talking to new ppl

he doesnt understand sarcasm at all, but ranboo, who uses sarcasm a lot as a way to blend in more with neurotypicals, is almost always able to explain what's meant when tubbo misses sarcasm

he also hates bright lights. he and ranboo have dim torches in their mansion with the only exception being the library, where there's much more light to make reading easier

he hates asking for help. hates it, he thinks it makes him weak, but it doesn't, and thats something he's still trying to internalize. he sometimes watches tommy for an example of a friend he looks up to ( :') anon u did not say "sprinkle in c!clingyduo" but I Am Anyway) who is trying to get help for his mental health to prove to himself its ok to do so as well

thinking about ranboo crying and tubbo trying to wipe his tears away so they dont burn him. also thinking about tubbo crying and ranboo wiping his tears and not flinching even though it stings.

ranboo listens to lemon demon constantly because he's cool. tubbo grows to love it even tho normally hearing the same few songs on repeat for ages would drive him mad

tubbo n ranboo keep michael inside to keep him safe but sometimes on snowy nights when theres nobody in sight and hasn't been in days theyll go outside and make snow angels and ranboo always makes sure to wear extra layers so he doesn't get hurt by the snow so he can spend as much time as possible with his son and husband

ranboos special interest was boats for YEARS and then it was mining and the probability of getting different types of materials while mining. tubbos special interest is nukes.

michael autistic + nonverbal. not technically a c!beeduo head canon but he is their son so close enough

ranboo favourite food apple pie. this is very important

ok ive been at it for like half an hour i could keep going but i Wont because this is already quite a bit fjhfks

[literaphobe]

dude so sorry about the weirdos :( i was super excited to see ur post-mcc takes and i hate to see people being ableist dicks for no reason hope ur doing ok !!

yeah honestly i just think most of them are so goddamn dumb n have no fucking reading comprehension and some of their attempts to ‘counter’ me are so bloody goddamn stupid that i am praying for themmmm i don’t wanna directly interact bc they’re dumb n they’ll probably cry about how they’re getting cyberbullied by anons (VERY ironic how some of them said i shouldn’t have posted a ‘bad take’ if i wasn’t ready to get ‘clowned’ like ok then don’t dogpile someone if ur weak ass doesn’t want anon ‘hate’? lmfao) but i remember one of them being like ‘ughhhhh 🙄 op ur so dumb if people are short in basketball that doesn’t mean we make the basketball hoop easier to reach!’ and that’s such a lousy comparison to make that completely LACKS compassion too like damn i’m sorry but when people have adhd or they’re colorblind schools that aren’t EVIL will be like oh i see! do you need extra time to complete assignments and exams? is there are anyway we can assist you on questions that have color identification involved?

and yes, mcc isn’t school but they are run by people with COMPASSION. and the willingness to make changes if they see how badly affected some of their players are? like, they’ve made changes to buildmart before, notably the subtitle that pops up n shows what the name of a block is when u go near to it! and that’s great! but some of you are acting like it’s laughable to want different/further changes upon review? its like giving someone a monocle and then laughing when they say ‘these help, but i think having something like prescription glasses can help even more’ and when people say shit like ‘god, x just affects a minority of the players. most of them are just fine’ DO YOU HEAR… YOURSELF

i don’t think i need to recontextualize that sentiment to show how devoid of awareness that is. who cares? who cares if the only issue w buildmart is how it disproportionately affects people with colorblindness and the only colorblind player was george? (he isn’t. btw. but he arguably has the worst case of colorblindness) or that buildmart disproportionately affects people w adhd n there was only one player who had it? scream and cry about how it’s not that deep all you want, i KNOW so many of the people who tried to mock me didn’t watch any of the povs i was talking about. like didn’t some of y’all cry about how parkour warrior supposedly gave someone a panic attack? if that’s valid criticism then (which i think it is! i do think that parkour warrior became flawed after all the difficulty reworks and if it was so upsetting to certain people then a rework of the game is needed) why isn’t any of this stuff valid now? and why is it so hard to believe that someone also had a similar reaction playing build mart?

and another thing. like i see ‘oh if it bothers you so much then don’t play mcc? every game gives u anxiety should they remove every game then?’ like look. i have anxiety and adhd. anxiety is Not neurodivergency. there is a big difference between an entire event being a huge trigger and giving you panic attacks at every potential turn and 1-2 games that you physically are unable to play like a neurotypical person because your brain structure prevents from doing things that could be CHANGED to help you and others like you. if someone just can’t handle the pressure of a competitive event like mcc and it makes them crack and suffer bouts of anxiety that is a Health issue. it is a health issue and if they want to step aside from something that hurts them in its Entirety, then that’s fine. but if someone can’t find sand blocks n cracked gold blocks bc they can’t detect the differentials in the shades of the colors n all that would need to be done was perhaps. changing the colors to be much more distinct or the textures of the blocks to be easier to identify without color then… why can’t people Want that. why can’t people ask for that

i understand! that people are being toxic and rude n overshadowing people’s victories n perhaps even shitting on the people that won on like, twitter or something. i get if you’re mad that people on dttwt are sending hate or something like that! but this isn’t twitter! i never once implied that mcc was a bad event or was being run by bad evil mean people who rig the whole thing. don’t take your grievances out on me! don’t interpret my posts in bad faith and then cower and cry wolf when u find out people who see sense are willing to stand up for me! and if u wanted to see if i was complaining about the winners of this mcc like some people were after the last few mccs as well then you could’ve scrolled down my blog and looked at my other posts instead of having weird preconceived notions about what i am or what i stand for. its possible to feel happy for others’ success while still wanting changes to be made to certain games. like. survival games gave mcc15 red rabbits the win. but i still think that the point system needed to be reworked after that bc it gave too many coins. u can be happy and still think things can change/improve to be more fair/make the event better. which is what noxcrew DOES. they want to make changes not because they think they’ll get hate if they don’t but because they care about their event being good and they have integrity about it and that’s why they take feedback on this stuff all the time. ultimately, the decisions they make as event organizers and minecraft developers are theirs, but it doesn’t mean people can’t speak their minds