#this is of course a generalization but still something i've found myself thinking about often

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[deimcs]

not going to lie, I think sooner or later some of you will have to come to terms with the fact that ALWAYS needing to completely relate and/or only seeing YOURSELF in the characters you read about/play as/watch in movies, can not only severely impact your critical thinking as a whole but also have very real consequences irl when you are suddenly introduced to struggles or issues you didn’t and maybe won’t ever face. suddenly your empathy is stunted 'cause you never really tried to put yourself in some else’s shoes, not even fictionally

[works-of-heart]

A little chat about my art

-wip of a fox Lucien Vanserra (I plan to do a fawn elain too)

Over the course of a week or so, I have been getting harassed by anons who accused me of using AI in my work, and not being a legitimate artist. Most have been very, VERY accusatory and nasty and I was tempted to make an angry post about it then, but instead I just ignored them, deleted their comments and went on with life.

Yesterday morning I woke up to the ask about AI, and while I was fed up with all these sudden asks, the person who asked me was at least kind.

I don't know where the accusations started, I thought it might have been antis, but if I'm real about it, I don't think too many are looking at my stuff, say for the few strays I had in the past. Only one negative, and one quite positive.

I do not know if people understand what kind of accusations like that makes of an artist, but it IS hurtful! If people start spreading lies, people will believe them and with enough people believing them, it starts to look like it's true.

I have NEVER used AI in ANY of my works. EVER.

All of my work has all been done digitally on my tablets, using CSP. I have been drawing digitally for over 20 years. It is fine if you do not like my work, it's totally ok if you think my anime style is ugly or childish, it's alright if you think I'm not a great artist. All of that is fine, I respect everyone's opinion.

What is NOT ok, is saying that I am stealing art. That I am a fake who uses AI and I'm stealing from legitimate artists who put work into it. I've worked for my art all my life, since I was a child, with the only aspiration to share the wonders of my mind with the world. These accusations, these hurtful things cut very deep.

I've been a fan of Acotar since 2020, and in love with Elucien ever since then. When I looked online, I found that most Elucien/Lucien art was buried under mountains of Elriel. There are some amazing artists for Elriel, truly beautiful, but they were eclipsing any that I saw for my ship. The ones I found of Elucien were beautiful! Stunning diamonds that would often get lost under the mountains of fan art for the other ships.

So when I made a blog that would be more focused on my love of Acotar and Elucien, I made a vow to fill the space with Elucien art!

That is all I ever wanted to do. Was to be in a space I can geek out with others who love the ship as much as I do, to make pieces that make everyone feel. I spent hours working on my elucien comics, just because I wanted to share these with you all, to give the feels. I am a comic creator myself, I've been working as one for almost 10 years now, it is my job. So pushing these out are works of love.

This was my mother's day picture. I had 3 separate folders for Elain, Lucien, and their daughter. I worked very, very hard on this picture to get it out by the day, in celebration for mother's day. My work is always a bit rough in the beginning stages, but I promise, I put all the work into it. I've studied from other artists I admire, to put it into my own style, something unique to me. A style that I've drawn since HS and was constantly mocked for, because it's too 'anime' too 'asian' and not western enough. Still, that doesn't matter as long as people enjoy it, and I love what I do.

An elucien wip of a picture that I never finished.

A picture of a Non-Acotar work I did

Some of my work never sees the light of day... because I'm so self conscious about my work, about my art in general. I never think it's good enough, and I struggle with trying to finish them because I want to only put out what I think is worthy of being shown. Sharing my art is so incredibly nerve-wracking for me, the fear of judgment, of never feeling it's good enough. I put my all into my work, my whole heart and soul into them, and though I know I need more practice, but I am trying.

Suffice to say, I've never used any form of AI in my art, I've never stolen anyone's work and claimed it as my own. I have referenced poses every now and then, and painting styles that I've studied, but never have I EVER cheated through any of these pictures.

Had someone had a real concern, coming to me and asking politely would be fine. Thank you to the anon yesterday who was truly kind and showing concern, but I don't know where this started from. If you are concerned a work may be illegitimate, you can always DM the artists and ask them kindly, I am sure they will no doubt be willing to prove their work if only to confirm they're real. Witch hunts where you just deem someone of using AI and spreading rumors and lies does MORE harm to the art community than you think. Artists are already hesitant about uploading their work for fear it will be stolen or used, but claiming they use AI with NO PROOF, and spreading misinformation is not only doing damage and making sure they'll never want to post again, but it impacts the community as a whole.

That being said, I am still going to draw and paint and post my artwork. I have no intention of backing down. I just hope as a community we can do better and be kinder to people who are spending their free time making things and sharing with us all. It's incredibly vulnerable to put yourself out there, and just remember, we are people behind these screens.

[jaeyunluvbot]

[ RECKLESS DRIVING ! ]

chapter twelve. dinner date

𝜗𝜚 You and Jake arrived at the restaurant after a short drive, talking and listening to music the whole way. You found his music taste endearing and appreciated how similar it was to your own. You also found his singing adorable. He'd look over at you every so often to make sure you were enjoying it too.

The two of you were seated at a semi-secluded booth, with Jake taking charge of looking over the menu and deciding what to order. As he looked over the menu, you looked at him, noticing just how stunning he looked in the dim restaurant lighting. When he finally decided on what to order and the waiter came over to take the order, he turned his full attention to you, asking about your day and work.

You blushed slightly under the feeling of his eyes on you, hoping it wasn't noticeable, especially since you couldn't blame it on the cold this time. "You look so cute today, Y/N." He offered you a compliment after a moment of silence, desperately wanting to talk more.

"Thanks, Jake, you look good too," you replied, feeling a little flutter in your heart at his kind words.

"So tell me about soccer, isn't your season almost over?" you asked, not wanting to come off as awkward or standoffish with your short response to his compliment.

"Yeah, we have a few games left, then maybe playoffs if we do well for the rest of the season." Jake smiles and you can tell he's passionate about his sport.

"I'm sure you guys will do well. I don't know too much about soccer, but from what I've seen, you guys are an amazing team." You gave him a quick thumbs up and he giggled. Internally, you were dying from the sound that just escaped his mouth, but externally you didn't show it.

"Now I wanna know about you. I feel bad that we never talked before the other day."

You laughed. "Ok, I'm an elementary education major, my favorite color is pink, and, ummm, I can't really think of anything else."

"Elementary education? How'd you pick that? Not that there's anything wrong with it, of course!" He backpedaled quickly, not wanting you to think he's judging your chosen course of study.

"I just really enjoy working with kids and I know how a good teacher can impact a student's life, so I wanted to be able to do something like that, you know?"

He agreed and stated that he admires people who can work with kids, claiming they stress him out. You agreed, but said that the pros outweigh the cons.

Time passed and the two of you talked more, generally getting to know each other as you ate. The atmosphere was pleasant and calm, filled with a soft happiness that emanated from both of you. Once the bill was paid and the meal was finished, and you and Jake headed back out to his car, you felt a hint of sadness that your time together was ending.

"So I know you only agreed to dinner, but would it be too much to go to an arcade or something? I know a really fun one close to here," Jake said, making your heart flutter once again.

"That sounds fun, but don't you have practice tomorrow morning? I don't want you to be too tired..." you said hesitantly.

"Yeah, but it'll be fine. I'm not even tired yet, plus it's only 10:15, so I can still get a good amount of sleep later."

"Then let's go."

He grinned and gave you a high five. "You're the best." 𝜗𝜚

𝜗𝜚 author's note - y/n getting hate we DO NOT love to see it, but i needed to add some drama so i can make myself sad. ignore if the writing is shitty it's 6 am and i haven't slept. like and leave a comment pretty please.

𝜗𝜚 taglist - @jakesaverse @haechansbbg @n1k1mura @dreamiestay @lilifiedeans @rikisly @nctsshoes2 @dojaejunging @noobgod1269 @bluxjun @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie

[mtkay13]

Affection running deep

(^ me pretending I title my illustrations) More info below! It's a bit personal and fandom related.

So WKX likes to bite. Let's be honest, from what I know, most priest "gong"'s do, so this is more a priest thing than a WKX thing--but if we look at TYK in a vacuum, we can still just say that it's a WKX thing (and, coincidentally, in Qi Ye, a Wuxi thing 🤭) It's pretty delightful, isn't it, to think that ZZS will permanently bear the scar of WKX's deep bite in his wrist... I'm going to use this piece as an opportunity to talk a bit about the permanent mark that TYK and QY have been carving into me for the past year and a half, then.

Funnily enough, although I started sketching and making a few illustrations here and there before, I consider that the infamous bite is my real "entry" in this fandom, when I made the animatic based on the scene in the audio drama. It's to this day my most viewed piece, and is sort of what made me... "known" as an artist in the fandom, I guess.

Although I've always devoted the most energy to personal projects, I'm no stranger to being a dedicated fan, even though this is my first real, "public" fandom experience. And honestly, personal and fandom projects combined, the animatic is the biggest, most ambitious work I had ever done so far for something not work-related. It was exhausting, and I almost succumbed to burnout after I finished it (just because, combined with work, it got too much). Ironically, it's the state I found myself in afterwards that made me enjoy rereading TYK in a way I never had before.

It's hard to say, whether I let TYK's fangs sink in my throat, or if I was the one to latch on and not let go ever since; but my life has certainly been changed by it.

I often forget about the bite scene; about the bite, in general. It's rarely ever one of the scenes that I think about spontaneously--and I rarely think about drawing the bite scar. Maybe because I've always thought it was a more typical scene? Maybe because on the surface I didn't resonate that much with it? And yet, as I'm going through really rough times right now, this new piece is what I chose to draw yesterday. A bit more than a year ago, when work felt like it was completely consuming me, this is the scene I chose to animate. I'm not sure there is a point in diving too deeply in this. Maybe, more than I would have assumed, I resonate with the desperation and hope that this scene carries. I'm glad I got here, in this fandom. It has had its very difficult moments, in many different ways, and I've discovered new sources of anxiety along the way--but at the same time, I've discovered many joys that I had never known before, and I think it's worth it. I'm grateful for those books to be in my life--grateful for Wen Kexing, for Zhou Zishu, and all the other characters, to be in my life. But of course, more than that, I'm incredibly grateful for the people I met, for the people who spend time with me, who cheer on me and let me cheer on them. Thanks everyone, for being there, and helping me form memories of better days that I can always look forward to.

I'm glad I'm here.

[olderthannetfic]

I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

--

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

[iztea]

Do you like drawing in a sense that it relaxes you? Like a hobby you‘re looking forward to after a day of work. Do you feel joy while you draw?

I‘m currently battling my art demons and came to the conclusion that drawing actually makes me feel shitty a lot of the time because I only take joy out of the results yk? So if it‘s good, great! If I get overwhelmed woah my world is breaking down. My therapist told me I need a hobby that actually relaxes me and that I like solely for itself, not connected to performance, and I was wondering if drawing is just generally the wrong thing for that or if there‘s a way for people to actually enjoy it in a relaxing way.

You‘re so open about your drawing process and you‘re my favorite art account so you fell victim to my question haha but I get that this ask is pretty specific and kinda weird, don‘t feel pressured to answer :)

i do very much enjoy drawing in a relaxing way; for me, it's the equivalent of playing video games or watching Netflix so, in a way, i think of drawing as "unproductive work". Not sure if you're actually looking for a solution-based answer to your problem or if you just want to hear my side/my opinion on the matter, but I'll try to delve into both. 

I think for me personally, I've always found drawing to be relaxing for the most part. Frustration is always to be expected, of course, but I wouldn't say it ruins the mood, it's just something that comes and goes. The only unpleasant part about drawing for me is strictly related to the social media aspect or just making it public. Now, I'm not sure if you have an art account as well or how much you relate to this but I very often dread posting stuff online. I kinda have to force myself almost every time to make something public because I hate the applause but I am also rational enough to understand that art is meant to be shared with others, even if I personally don't feel a strong need to... It's just one of those human behaviour things you have to mimic or adapt to get by, similar to many other things that don't make sense to me personally but I cognitively understand why they happen but I digress

 When it comes to the process itself, I actually enjoy it more than the final result. If I had a lot of fun experimenting with brushes and new techniques and crazy effects i saw online then i get a sense of joy no matter the end result, and here is where my first piece of advice comes into play: learn to enjoy the process without thinking of the destination. For me, even when I do have a clear idea in mind, it always fluctuates and I let it fluctuate. Sometimes it even looks like shit. So what? It's just for your eyes, who cares if it doesn't look good? Just call it a flop and move to another thing, or revisit it sometime later when your skills improve. This is even easier when you do not have an art account where you share your art, there's zero pressure, you're creating the pressure yourself.

Just think about it: 

>why do you feel shitty and overwhelmed? -> because you care about the end result

>why do you care? -> because if it turns out bad, it feels like wasted time. or because you put your worth into what you create or because [  fill in your answer here ]

>do you still want to continue drawing? -> if there is a way to enjoy it in a relaxing way, then yes i assume

Ok great! Then, the solution is to remove that root feeling of disappointment, overwhelm or despair by learning to appreciate the process of creation and bask in the uncertainty of it instead of being so dead-set on the final piece. If you are not content enough with your skills to end up drawing something that you're always satisfied with, and if it causes you this much distress, then drop your expectations and don't reach the finish line. I mean this literally: draw forever-WIPs. Sketches. Doodles. Don't render, don't even try to think of a color palette. Don't Finish Your Art. Enjoy the process of discovery, of trial-and-error of indecision and I can assure you it will be during these moments when you'll find the relaxation you're looking for.

Enjoyment and relaxation, in my experience, come from two places/approaches: 1. the subject itself and/or 2. noticing improvement in your skills.

To give you an example, when I was sick with fever I drew Dazai as that "let's take ibuprofen together" meme and I thought it was the best shit in the world I was on cloud nine and giggling to myself. Looking back on that art, I now realize it looks terrible (and i lowkey want to redraw it) but back then i was laughing while drawing it and felt Great. because I was drawing something i thought it was funny. Not even once did I think "oh man, I hope this turns out nice ohh it will be so awful if it doesn't the world will explode" because that was not its purpose. Granted i was a bit,,,,,, unwell given my sickly state but my point still stands! So, what I'm trying to say here is that you can try drawing "funny/silly" things as a way to sort of lessen that burden of expectations. Or just something you reaaalllly want to see and you know no one else will do it. Taking matters in your own hands type beat

The second way to enjoy drawing in a relaxing way is by taking the other route: instead of focusing on the subject matter, try focusing on new techniques, new brushes, new tutorials or approaches you found online. Basically, focus on improving your skills in a fun-no-pressure-no-strings-attached way while keeping your subject of choice neutral or uninteresting. Or maybe take the artwork of an artist you really like and try to deconstruct it/ reverse engineer it and apply it to your own art. But whatever you do or choose, just never finish it. let them stay as wips or else you won't be very.. relaxed.

*please note this is an "and/or" statement, so you can absolutely do both: try a new technique you found while drawing something that you also enjoy for uhhhhhhhhhhh relaxmaxxing as the would kids say

Lastly, what I would highly recommend is listening to Adam Duff's podcasts, he really hits the nail on the head when it comes to such topics and more, he really narrates and explores that soulful part of an artist way better than I ever could with this answer so please check him out, I think you'll find your answers there

[packsvlog]

Hello!! I've recently found your blog and I absolutely adore your writing and even have notifications on, hehe 🫶🏻 I'd like to request a match up, but of course only if you have the time to do it!

I'm 22 years old and I use she/her pronouns. I speak two languages (German+English), I have blond, medium length hair (it's dyed, my natural hair color is brown) which is wavy but I straighten it because I think it looks better. Sometimes, when I'm bored, I dye some colorful strands into it! (Like pink, or red, or purple.) I'm average in height, although on the higher side of the spectrum by being 5'7. I'm chubby, which I'm a insecure about, but I don't let that hold me back from dressing how I want, at least on most days. I usually wear baggy or loose clothes but on special occasions I wear form fitting clothes as well. I wear glasses, they're transparent and pink, and I absolutely love to do my make up! I'm very creative when it comes to it and it's often that I wear a lot of colors on my face, but not that it's too overbearing.

My personality type is ENFP 2w3 and I tend to get along with everyone, but more so with ambivert people since I sometimes have phases where I'm more introverted. I like people who are different from me since I like hearing a different perspective on things, so people who are too close to me in terms of personality are a no go. I also like mature people, so unnecessary fights or arguments can easily be avoided. I talk a lot and I joke around a lot too, so people tend to call me a social butterfly which I agree with. I need my downtime too, so it isn't too uncommon to find me sitting alone in my room, listening to music and playing video games at the end of the day.

I do have a few mental struggles and I do have a chronic illness as well (I don't wanna outright say what I have, but I have incredibly bad stomach aches from time to time, so bad that I even had to have a surgery because of it when I was 17.) All that is too say is that I can be a bit complicated at times, but I try my best to better myself.

My hobbies include: mainly playing video games (like stardew valley, animal crossing, generally more relaxing games), doing my make up, baking (when I'm stressed which is too often), and going out with my friends! I love running errands with my friends and spending time with them that way! I'm open to a lot of new things but I get extremely frustrated when I'm not immediately good at something, lol.

I'd like to be matched up with someone my age or older than me since that's my preference if that is alright! I hope this wasn't too much information 😭 I appreciate you and your work and thank you for taking your time to do these match ups!! 🩷

a/n: hiiiiiii, thank you for sending this, specially the many informations and the preference for your age or older. i had others in mind for you, being geto and hiromi. still, i think toji could do just fine with you, yay!

⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝘵𝘰𝘫𝘪 ៹ ༉‧₊🫕

toji, in all his powerful presence, goes inside a room with a permanent scowl on his face. you, sparkly white eyeshadow with smoke eyeliner, pink glasses and equally pink highlights, comes behind. bubbly and threatening aura mixing together to create something no one else would have thought, yet, anyone can see the care you both have for the other.

can’t you see? if you look closely to toji, there is glitter sprinkled on his cheekbones and nose button, as well as a blue strand of his hair. but mostly, he might have show to everyone a threatening face, but when he stares at you, there is a smile present on his lips and a shine in his eyes.

it’s something that had been lost for a long time, some could say.

your dressed to the extreme for this boring party shiu is throwing, black silk dress conturing your waist and hips, at first you might have had some doubts about it, still you didn’t changed it — never one to back down.

that’s one of the many things that made toji attracted to you, your insecurities does not define you. thank god for that, he thinks while admiring you doing your eyes. so pretty and so his, he might just not go the party and have you all to himself.

“you look pretty.” he compliments while trying to knit his tie. you finish the final touches before moving his way, pressing a peck to his lips and doing it for him. “thank you, doll.”

“anything for you.” raising on your feet, you kiss him again, with your hands you caress his face, moving away you see the shine in it, thanks to your dirty fingers and laugh. “you have glitter in you, let me grab the oil to remove.”

“nah, no need, let’s match.” he is so sexy, that you might have arrived late to the party.

toji is a simple guy, his clothes are either black or grey and sometimes a dark blue might be presented in his drawer. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like colors, if anyone where to ask him what’s his favorite, he would find you and pick the most vibrant one you are wearing. you’re his favorite everything, okay? in the presence of your room, if you ask, he will say is the color of your lips.

while first meeting, toji was instantly attracted to you, but he thought you would never give him a chance. that was, of course, until you let it slip how you are more inclined to romantic partners different than you, and hey! toji has the social life of a fucking worm with amnesia and you are a social butterfly, what could be more different than that?

a lot. a fucking lot!

he knew he had you right there, and you had been aware as well, so the dating started right away. toji and you don’t fight, he might not seem mature but he is strategic and pays attention to everything, so if something bothers you, he knows right away and change whatever it is quickly. you didn’t liked him gambling and he stopped before you could get even more annoyed.

your disagreements never reach the fighting stage if it comes from his side, but if comes from yours, you are more than happy to hear what is his complain and make it work. cheers to being non-toxic!

toji is very worrying of you. he likes to come home and see you happy, doing a random makeup or playing video games. he will sit on the bed while talking to you about both of your days, happy that you are recharging and having a you time. still, he goes extremely quiet and full on boyfriend mood when he comes home and you are baking. your pastries are divine, but something is wrong!

you will soon find yourself relaxing in a bathtub, using him as a personal pillow, caressing your back while letting you vent. if it is your medical condition, he will encourage you to go to a doctor, just for a checkup at least, if is mental, he will also beg for you to go to a professional, and also ends the night spoiling you by buying your favorite food. the next day he won’t work, instead toji rather be with you, learning how to play your games and having you doing his makeup.

─┈ ⭑ ° ⋆ FUN FACTS 𓂃ᰔ

🫕 ┊ dating toji means that you can wear whatever high heels, you’re still short to him.

🫕 ┊ toji is your biggest supporter, even if words of affirmation is not his thing, toji still helps you overcome this distress of not being good at everything at first. he basically points to himself as an example of hard work pays well!

🫕 ┊ toji has a different humor than most people, still, he laughs at your jokes and does the same with you. obviously, all in the presence of your house.

🫕 ┊ toji is a different man inside and outside your home, he loves you in all his forms, and everyone can see that!

🫕 ┊ his love language is acts of service and quality time.

[lost-in-lamentation]

I'm really sorry if this isn't something usually written or slightly difficult to write, but I was thinking about how the brothers or any of the others would react to a MC who always wears a mask ? Like, they only ever take it off when their by themself and even then they still feel odd without it. So their immediate instinct when going out is to grab their mask !

It can be for any reason ! Body dysmorphia or just general shyness, anything

I deal with this myself, and I often get a lot of weird looks for wearing it since covid is less common now. I just have one preference !

-The MC needing a lot of reassurance and comfort before taking it off [ and even then or after a bit, they need to put it back on ]

To them it may feel like protection and security, so they rely on it a lot !

I'm really sorry if this is too long or hard to read, I'm not used to making requests (╥﹏╥)

a/n: hi anon! i totally get where you're coming from, you're not alone here. and no need for sorry! i'm glad you were so specific with the request, and i hope you find some comfort here! (´ω｀)

see end for more notes.

content: asmodeus and satan are curious as to why you never go out without your face mask. the reasons differ for each brother, please read the warnings before proceeding.

warnings: extreme body dysmorphia, panic attacks (asmodeus); shyness, appearance insecurity (satan).

comfort. satan, asmodeus x gen!reader (you/your). separate.

═  ˎˊ˗

satan.

for satan to be called confused was an understatement. he was beyond baffled that every time you agreed to an outing with him, you grabbed a mask each time from the box that sat atop your desk. if he was going to be honest, he never understood why you refused to go anywhere without one. after a long period of observation, satan realised the only places he saw you without a mask on was in your own room, or at the dining table. the very idea that you hid yourself away sparked his interest, which in return lead to a new period of research. much to his dismay, personal reasons would never show themselves in textbooks. instead, he decided to tackle the source (you) instead.

satan found you in the library, of course, mask on, flipping through the notes you had made during class earlier in the day. with a nod, he slid into the seat across from you, setting his novel down and propping his chin up against his palm. the way your eyes widened slightly didn't go unnoticed by him. neither did the way you pinched your mask and brought it higher up the bridge of your nose. behind the covering, you grimaced to yourself before clearing your throat awkwardly.

"is something the matter?" you asked softly, placing your notes onto the desk.

satan tapped his index finger just underneath his jawline. "why do you wear it everywhere?"

"... come again?"

"the mask," he said plainly. "don't you get tired of wearing it everywhere? i've read that some humans even complain because it gets hard to breathe."

you made a quiet sound of acknowledgement. "i just like wearing it."

"you're not a very good liar, MC."

a defeated sigh escaped past your lips. "promise not to tell?" after a nod from the demon, you steeled yourself to explain. "it's kind of dumb, honestly. i just get really shy when i don't have it on." at your words, satan sat himself upright, keeping his gaze trained on yours. "having it on makes it easier to talk to everyone. i'm not super good-looking, you know? so... i feel a bit more confident when i'm wearing it."

satan once again found himself far beyond confused. baffled, yes. perhaps, even dumbfounded might actually be the word he was looking for in this situation. his mouth parted slightly, and his hand slowly reached out to you, stopping at the side of your face. "you can practice talking without it on with me," he spoke in a tone that he reserved solely for you. "may i?"

you blinked at him rapidly, eyes darting around the room before landing on his. swallowing nervously, you finally nodded, your shoulders tensing when satan unhooked the mask from behind your ear. when it fell away from your face, you snapped your head to the side, feeling the heat run up your cheeks and turn into a blush. "would you look at that," satan purred.

"what?"

"you're actually very attractive."

"satan! you can't just say that!" your face felt like it was on fire. flustered, you scrambled to loop the mask around your ear once more, but the blush on your cheeks had already spread down to your neck. there was a beat of silence, and then a cough from you as you shifted in your seat to face anywhere but satan. "but, if you're willing," you whispered, shooting him a a smile from behind the mask, "i'd like to take you up on that offer."

knowledge was a wonderful thing. satan could never get enough of it. but when compared to the feeling he got when you relied on him, satan would rank knowledge as second. if satan could eventually have you get comfortable enough to go around without the mask, he'd see more of that smile he's craved since the first time he saw it.

═  ˎˊ˗

asmodeus.

"MC!!" the voice echoed throughout the hallways directly into the classroom you were studying in. you turned your head towards the doorway to see the fifth born practically skip inside, coming to a stop in front of your seat. "i didn't get to show you the new lip tint i got this morning!"

you released a sigh, letting your pen fall from your fingers. "asmo, can this wait until we get home?"

"nonsense! it's the best time of day to try it out. come on!" you couldn't help thinking that all you wanted was to be left alone to do your homework, but all your thoughts came to a halt when asmodeus broke your one rule. within seconds, your mask had come off and was only hanging off one ear. unwillingly, you shrieked and pushed yourself away from the demon, his words falling on deaf ears as you fumbled to put your mask back on. with tears in your eyes, you burst out of the classroom, all your belongings forgotten as you tried to return to your only safe space; your room.

as you returned to your room, the fear and disgust overtook you all at once. you slammed your door with a cry, fingers digging into your scalp as your back collided against the wall. in the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of your reflection. the hand mirror that had been so carefully placed on your desk showed you the mess that you were. disheveled and erratic, you stared at yourself, the mask doing nothing to hide what you were. in a daze, you grabbed it from the desk and threw it against the wall, watching as it shattered into pieces. you felt your knees give out from underneath soon after, and you crashed to floor in a heap. it felt like hours had passed before a hand tentatively came to rub your back soothingly.

you scrambled away from the touch, chest heaving as you tried to clear your vision. when you did, you saw the fifth born again, this time wearing a regretful expression. "MC, it's me. i..." his voice trailed away as he looked at you. "i cleaned up the broken mirror for you," he whispered. "and... i'm sorry."

your hands trembled at your sides, balled tightly into fists. "sorry for what?" the question sounded more like an interrogation, but you couldn't be bothered to watch your tone.

asmodeus looked at you sadly, his expression crestfallen. "i knew you didn't like having your mask off, but... i never expected you to freak out like that either."

"oh, so you're just calling me a freak now?!"

"no- that's not what i mean!" he inhaled sharply, internally scolding himself for not being the best with words. "let me rephrase," asmodeus began softly, his thumbs twiddling nervously. "i'm sorry for taking your mask off. i didn't know that it would affect you that much."

at the sight you of starting to relax, asmodeus felt the tension in his shoulders begin to slip away. you glanced at where the shards of the mirror should have been. "... i see myself in the mirror, and i see something i don't want to be," you admitted. it took every effort for asmodeus to not interrupt with a shallow sounding comment. "i wear a mask so that i don't have to see myself. so that no one else has to see me."

carefully, asmodeus shuffled closer to you, settling himself a few feet away. "i have some experience with that," he confessed to you. relief bubbled inside his chest when he saw you turn to make eye contact with him. "becoming a demon wasn't easy," he continued on, a bitter look gracing his face. "but maybe it'll help me help you with this. what do you say?"

"i don't know if i'm ready for that." you replied hesitantly, staring at the floor instead of him now. "but when i am ready, will you still be willing to help me?"

the smile on his face managed to lift your mood too. "i'll always be ready to help you," he promised, holding a hand out with only his pinky extended. you mirrored his gesture from where you sat, curling your pinky around thin air. asmodeus wasn't sitting close by, but you could feel his sincerity from miles away.

a/n: i was gonna have three chars originally but.. i kinda liked how these two went and couldn't think of a good situation for the third. anon i hope this finds you well!

reblogs are really appreciated (´ω｀) ♡

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

It's kind of sad to me how so many queer communities have their own cultures and symbolism that you can choose to connect with or not, but most aspec communities don't have a choice.

So many ace people I've met didn't even have a clue about the cake symbol or the dragons and all that. And aromantic symbolism/culture is even more ignored!! And I won't even name the poor apl and other tertiary attraction aspec culture/symbolism.

So many of us are so proud of our identities, but what about culture? The symbolism? We don't have those privileges.

I miss the time I found out I was ace and every time I saw a cake I would giggle and whisper to myself "look, it's like my identity!", I wanted to feel it back, and I also wanted other aspec people (both young acespec who just discovered themselves AND aspec who aren't (only) ace) to feel it too.

I don't know how to explain it, I was just thinking about it...

(Apologies for even bringing this up but) I feel like the so-called ace discourse* really did a number on our community, because one of the big things they did was shame ace and a-spec culture and symbols. It got very hard to post cute things like purple dragons and cake the same colours as the ace flag without someone showing up and yelling at you and accusing you of all kinds of things. It died down on Tumblr years ago, but I'm still seeing the effects.

I think one of the best things we can though is spread and share these things, share ace dragons, make jokes, teach people about community culture things like the asexual ring and aromantic ring. And of course we can always create more symbols, more cultural things, and often that happens from connecting as a community. Community building is something any of us can do if we want to.

All the best, Anon!

*I know that's not a good name for it since what it actually was was a large scale harassment campaign, and generally targeted the entire a-spec community, but not sure if there's an alternate recognizable name for it.

[merp-blerp]

A Gaylor Interpretation of "Seven" post TTPD

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

So my song interpretations are often just one of my takes on a single song. For "Seven", I think every reading I've seen works basically. The general interpretation of the story of two kids being friends and the gaylor interpretation of those kids being in love whether they realize it or not make sense to me and I love that story. However, I love challenging myself to see songs in multiple ways, even in ways I haven't seen anyone else see them. And I want to share this different take on "Seven" being about "Peter" (at least I think it's different, I don't think I've seen exactly what I'm about to say before, but idk).

"Please picture me // In the trees // I hit my peak at seven feet // In the swing // Over the creek // I was too scared to jump in // But I, I was high in the sky // With Pennsylvania under me // Are there still beautiful things?"

Most takes on this song seem to take this song as not being personal for Taylor, but as a story she created, but I want to play with the idea of it being at least a bit personal, even if it's a fictional take on reality.

The first clue that it could be about Taylor more directly is that she mentions Pennsylvania, where she was born.

I find it interesting that we don't know how old the narrator is in the story they tell. "Seven" refers to how high the narrator swings, not their age. In "Fresh Out the Slammer", Taylor mentions how she used to sit on children's swings with her lover wearing imaginary rings, their age during that time on the swing also not being determined. "Robin" also mentions swings. To me, Taylor seems to see the swings as the peak of childhood/childlike innocence. The swing story is told in the past tense, so the narrator's childlike innocence must be behind them as they're beginning to wonder "Are there still beautiful things?" like there were in their swing days. To me, this song has always felt like an adult recounting childhood memories as if they were young again, and in this reading, I think Adult Taylor is talking to her younger self, Peter.

"Sweet tea in the summer // Cross your heart, won't tell no other // And though I can't recall your face // I still got love for you"

The mention of drinking something in the summer and keeping a secret reminds me of Taylor's unreleased song "Me and Britney" from 2003, a song that could also be read as Taylor having a childhood crush on a friend thanks to the lines, "That boy she ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy // Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney." But the line that concerns us here is "Me and Britney used to sit on the front porch drinking lemonade // Talking 'bout things no one else was ever supposed to hear // In the summer shade." There are also parallels to another unreleased song "Mary Jo", which mentions "So many questions answered // When I spent that summer with Jo". And of course, there are ties to another unreleased song called "Sweet Tea and God's Graces", a similar song to "Mary Jo" about learning through young love, which also mentions sweet tea, tire swings, and summer. I could never know if Taylor actually had feelings for her friend Britany Maack, who "Me and Britany" is allegedly (?) about, or the nature of their relationship. But it appears that Taylor is taking elements from her childhood and incorporating them into this queer-coded song.

Summer, daylight, and the sun seem to represent the freedom of knowing your queer and the ability to be so for Taylor, reflected in so many songs like "Daylight", "BDILH", etc. So maybe it's being used almost like a code to say that she's had a queer experience of some kind.

Especially in the 90s and early 2000s, if a kid found out they were queer they wouldn't tell anyone out of fear of homophobia and/or wanting to process it themselves. So older Taylor recounts that her younger self would "Cross (her) heart, won't tell no other" after summer/a queer experience.

As you get older and grow into your face, you somewhat begin to forget what you looked like as a kid. I know I look at old photos of myself and realize I forgot details. Taylor can't recall her own face as a child from memory, as it's been a long time since she's been a child, but she still has love for her younger self.

"Your braids like a pattern // Love you to the moon and to Saturn // Passed down like folk songs // The love lasts so long"

I did an analysis for "BDILH", and in that I mentioned that braids could symbolize taking your free, loose hair, or queerness, and tucking it back in a braid, hiding the queerness. Her younger self was closeted, so she has "braids like a pattern".

"Love you to the moon and to Saturn" is a play on the phrase "Love you to the moon and back" which is used to illustrate just how much you love someone. So why to the moon and to Saturn specifically? Maybe Taylor is saying that she has so much care for her younger self that it goes to the moon and Saturn combined. Or maybe, since Taylor illustrates not feeling like she belongs on earth like a human in several other songs like "Down bad" and "IHIH", she's saying that she loves her younger self to the moon and Saturn because she's not on earth. She's different, so she lives on Saturn, a planet that humans can't theoretically live on like Mars. I feel like there could be more to find with this Saturn lyric, so if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

Folk songs can be passed down for decades or maybe more, sometimes the origins of them being unknown (i.e. "The House of the Rising Sun" which has no known author and has been performed by countless people, essentially belonging to everyone and no one). Very similar to folktales, fables, and folklore. Queer history continues to be spread for centuries, even when the origins are murky. Queer people have existed since time itself, so "the love lasts so long".

"And I've been meaning to tell you // I think your house is haunted // Your dad is always mad and that must be why"

Okay, so I don't want to asses this line for too long when connecting it to Taylor on a personal level if the dad is her actual father, as it feels a bit uncomfortable for me personally, but I do want to address the line. Taylor has written about fathers in non-positive lights before. Take "You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes" and "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" from "Mine", or "Leaving like a father" from "Betty". The unreleased 2002 song "Can I Go With You?" is a song about a father angrily leaving his home after a spat with his partner and his child asking to go with him. There was also the argument Taylor got into with her dad in Miss Americana and the email leak from December of last year. I personally take "Tolerate It" as potentially being about Taylor's father only tolerating her identity and how that frustrates Taylor, so this lyric could also be in reference to any frustration that Scott Swift could have towards something about young Taylor. But I of course don't know Taylor's personal situation with her parents and I'm not personally accusing Scott of being abusive when I have such little information.

Honestly, the "dad" could also be Scott B, which might connect the song to Taylor's early career. I think I prefer that idea because I'm able to think about it more.

The way this line is worded feels like A) a child who knows something is amiss, but interprets the source of the problem as something unlikely like a ghost or B) an adult explaining something painful to a child in a way that wouldn't hurt the child as bad as the hard facts. I'm going to go with B for this reading. Adult Taylor says to her younger self that her house is "haunted" to soften the blow of whatever the problem is and help her understand. Younger Taylor might understand the dangers of a haunted house better than whatever the complicated truth is. Or maybe younger Taylor does understand the reality and older Taylor says "haunted" like a code word the two of them can understand, but not quite the listener. Mentioning "haunted" reminds me of Speak Now and its song by that name, which would connect it back to "Mine" again. And if the dad is actually Scott B, that reminds me of the story about Taylor having to call TS3 Speak Now because calling it "Enchanted" like she wanted was seen as too childish by Big Machine, connecting to childhood and never growing up again. Come to think of it, even the braids remind me of Speak Now and the "Mean" MV. (So now I'm wondering if the "careless man" was Scott B all along—that'd be something to ponder...)

"And I think you should come live with // Me and we can be pirates // Then you won't have to cry // Or hide in the closet // And just like a folk song // Our love will be passed on"

Taylor compares her younger self to Peter Pan in her song "Peter". Pirates play a big role in Peter Pan, of course. This also gives the song another connection to Taylor personally, as Taylor describes her younger self as in the age of "pirate ships" in "The Best Day". In "Peter", Taylor laments that her younger self was supposed to "grow up" and then "come find (her)", meaning her younger closeted self was supposed to finally grow out of the closet that hurts her so and be whole with her adult self. But, as stated in "The Archer" and "BDILH", Taylor never grew up, even when she wanted to, because of unforeseen circumstances like the master heist keeping her trapped. Here, Taylor asks a similar question, imploring her younger self to live with her so they can play and be whole. Pirates in real life could have gay partnerships with each other called "matelotage", so playing pirates might be like coming out. Then her younger self won't have to cry over who she is anymore. She won't have to hide in the closet. Then their unique love can continue to be passed on through history and to others.

"Please picture me // In the weeds // Before I learned civility // I used to scream ferociously // Any time I wanted // I, I"

I already talked about this line somewhat extensively in my "BDILH" analysis, so I'll keep an exact assessment of this specific line brief, but throughout this whole song, Taylor pleads to the listener to picture her younger, rather than her now, as she's been describing her younger self this whole time. As she says in the speech during "Daylight", Taylor wants to be defined by the things that she loves, not the things she's afraid of. The Lover coming out attempt reflected that, as there was barely any vitriol towards the industry portrayed in the album, compared to TTPD. If she came out then it would've been defined by her love, not the industry's abuse. Now she has a lot of anger and fear in her life, so she wants to be pictured before the closeting took its toll. Younger Taylor got to "scream ferociously" whenever she wanted, or be queer and "loud", but then she decided to take on her dreams of being a singer, a public figure, so she had to write her songs straight enough to pass as such and take on bearding, or learn "civility". And if playing pirates is like being out, it might require you to "scream ferociously".

The "I, I" being followed by nothing specific to it, but "Cross my heart, won't tell no other", makes me feel like something's being omitted. It's as if she wants to say more about being loud when she was younger, but then stops herself.

"Sweet tea in the summer // Cross my heart, won't tell no other // And though I can't recall your face // I still got love for you // Pack your dolls and a sweater // We'll move to India forever // Passed down like folk songs // Our love lasts so long"

Earlier in the song, Taylor described her younger self as not telling anyone about her queerness, but now she's crossing her own heart the same way. She never grew up. She's been left with no choice but to stay in the closet forever. But Taylor still sings of the summer, so her queerness isn't gone.

She tells her younger self to join her again, to pack and move to India with her. My best guess as to why India specifically is that India is far away. It was never mentioned in her music before and never again so far. It's not like New York, London, or even Pennsylvania, places where people would expect to find her thanks to her music and track record of frequenting those places. India is similar to Florida in her music, a place to escape from invasive eyes and troubles. It's like a more achievable version of the "better planet" from "IHIH".

And their love still lasts so long.

Thanks for reading!

[indignantlemur]

I was wondering if you had any advice for beginners writing a long fanfic?

Thank you.

Hello! I actually do have some advice, though of course I must stress that what works for me is not necessarily what will work for others.

I'll break this down into two categories - general and specific.

🖊️GENERAL WRITING ADVICE:

🌟FIRST: Find a process that works for you to stay on track.

Some people find making a diagram or a mind-map of ideas and plotlines helps them stay on track. Some people make a bullet-point list of what they need to accomplish in each chapter. Some don't even bother making a list at all, and write on the fly.

Personally, I've found that making an outline helps me immensely. I can flesh out the outlined points as I need to, throwing in possible bits of dialogue or descriptions that come to me when I think about a scene I've planned, and I can move each plot point around as needed. Not only does this keep me organized, but if I need to take a break from writing, I'm not left floundering when I come back to it. I can pick up the threads right away, because I know exactly how and where I left them and what they're meant to tie into. I keep all of my plot notes on a separate document that I can switch over to (or keep open on a second screen, or even just open on my phone, really) and I reference it constantly.

I do this for shorter stories as well as longer ones, and the key to make this approach work is understanding that the plot points and tidbits I have prepared are guidelines. Only the bare bones are set in stone, and even then I give myself as much flexibility as possible. Sometimes, the scene develops in such a way that I can't include the dialogue or descriptions I'd hoped to because now it doesn't make sense - and that's fine. I save the defunct bits, cut and paste it to a junk drawer document where I put all my missing and cut scenes, and see if I can reuse them in the future. No writing is a wasted effort.

🌟SECOND: Get a second pair of eyes on your work.

Find a beta-reader, or a very good friend who isn't afraid to tell you when something needs work. Ideally, both. Beta-readers are worth their weight in gold twice over (I love you @emilie786!) and will help you with the grammar and the flow of the scene, often catching mistakes you miss. Some beta-readers only want to proof-read, and some want to be more involved in your writing process - clear communication about goals and expectations is key!

Likewise, a writer-friend who's willing to look at your work while it's still rough and give you feedback on it (becoming your alpha audience, as it were) is an amazingly helpful person. They can help you by suggesting different takes on a scene, or alternate phrasing when your writing feels a bit awkward in places, or even workaround for plot problems and any difficulties you run into. I frequently chat with @the-lady-general about our different writing projects, and it's been immensely helpful for both of us.

🌟THIRD: Be prepared to kill your darlings.

So, you've written a thing. You worked hard on it, poured your heart and soul into it, and you love it to pieces. Of course you do! Only... your beta-reader had torn a scene or a character to shreds, however kindly, and now you have to cope with rewriting it.

A kneejerk response a lot of new writers have to this is to get defensive and upset - I've been guilty of this myself, in the distant past when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. I'll tell you now what someone should have told me then: sometimes, a person has to be cruel to be kind. A beta-reader or a friend telling you a scene needs work is a gift compared to your story being panned by negative reviews after the fact, especially if you are the sort to put a lot of emotional value on your reviews (as many of us do).

When this happens, because it inevitably will, listen.

Step back, take a day or two to reset your brain if you need to, and then review what your beta-reader told you. Look at it objectively, without emotion. If you cannot, bring in a friend or mentor who can help you do so. Go over what's been said, the chief complaints and concerns, and open up a new document. Copy the scene. Paste it over. Rewrite the scene in the new document, taking all of the advice given to you into account. Once you're done, take a break. Make a cup of tea. Grab a snack. Go for a walk, even. When you're done, come back and read both the original and rewritten scenes.

You may very well find that your writing has benefited from the exercise, if nothing else, but I suspect you will find you like the rewrite a little better.

🌟FOURTH: Writing tutorials and guides are goldmines.

If you're struggling with writing a scene, or even if you just think it doesn't flow the way you want, look at what other writers who can write these scenes suggest. I struggle with action scenes, personally, and I've been referencing a lot of guides for Hoarfrost (which is still in the works but getting closer to completion!) to shore up those weak points in my writing.

Heck, I spent a literal week reading nothing but smut guides and writing tutorials, learning everything from phrasing to atmosphere-building, before I felt brave enough to try writing TSKW, never mind actually posting chapter 44 of Emigre. My ads haven't been the same since. The VPN did nothing.

Of course, a thesaurus is a valuable tool as a writer, but learning how to stitch your words together to create a scene is more than just knowing twelve different synonyms for the word "said." To that end, I would say that there is absolutely nothing shameful about taking inspiration from other writers and published authors, or from guides and tutorials. So long as you're not copying another's work or borrowing their ideas without permission, of course.

And, finally,

🌟FIFTH: Don't be afraid of writing badly.

I started writing when I was 8 - silly, nonsensical things with no particular plot or plan. Charming, but terrible. I got into fanfiction at 12, and the stuff I wrote was beyond cringe-inducing. Mary Sues, flat descriptions with no life to them, using too much emotion or too little, unrealistic reactions and irrational decisions from every character unfortunate enough to be involved - you name it, I wrote it.

All of this is a perfectly normal part of writing, even if I'd rather walk into the sea with a canon ball lovingly bundled in my arms rather than let any of it see the light of day ever again.

Through these horrible, absolutely godawful first steps into the world of writing, I grew. I got negative reviews, and supportive ones. I took breaks and tried again later. I wrote and rewrote. I erased entire documents and started from scratch more times than I can count (which I kind of regret, hence my advice to make a junk drawer document). I spent weeks, months, even years using my maladaptive daydreaming to hone scenes, refine characterizations, and tweak plot ideas. I have stories and worlds in my head that have been percolating for a literal decade or more, and they still don't feel ready to put onto paper yet - but if I don't start despite that, they never will be.

So don't be afraid of writing badly, and certainly don't let that fear stop you from writing at all. After all, churning out a rough, unrefined first draft is the first and most important step to learning how to write well.

✒️SPECIFIC WRITING ADVICE

The first, best piece of specific advice I ever got when starting out was this:

🌟Describe the scene as if you were describing it to a blind person.

(I always took this advice to mean someone who had recently lost their sight, rather than someone who would have no shared frame of reference for visual descriptions, but you're quite welcome to interpret it differently.)

The colours and shapes we readily think of when it comes to describing a scene are important, but what about texture? Scent? Taste? Scent in particular is hugely important to people because it's directly linked to our memories, but sound and touch are also very important for setting a scene. By excluding those details, you are robbing the audience of layers of immersion.

Think about the sights and scents and sounds around you as you go about your day. How would you describe them? The smell of coffee from across the room - is it earthy, bitter, burnt? Is Karen from accounting eating fish tacos again, despite multiple complaints, and now the cloying, oily aroma of microwaved fish has saturated the entire office? What about the warmth of sunlight streaming through a nearby window against your arm, the way the light catches on the hard edges of the furniture and the highlights in a woman's hair. What about the sound of your shoes against the floor as you walk, the click of heels and the shuffle and squeak of sneakers? Think about how you would describe what you're wearing, beyond bare facts. The softness of the fabric, the sturdiness of the construction, the weight of the material - how would you put them into words?

Spend time actively paying attention to the world around you, to conversations and scenery and people, and ask yourself: how would I write this?

The second piece of advice may seem contradictory, given the first, but it's worth hearing anyway:

🌟Sometimes less is more.

Descriptions and explanations are an important part of story-telling, enhancing the scene and building the world around it, but there's a time and a place. We don't need to know every single descriptive detail about the main character in the first paragraph, or even the first chapter. We don't need to know the entire history of the new alien species the moment we meet them, or even for years after the first encounter. We don't need to wade through ten pages describing how strange and bizarre the alien trees are, nor do we need three different descriptions of the shape of each leaf on every branch.

Learn to space out your expositions and descriptions. Treat them like sprinkles - they look better when they're spread out over the whole cake, rather than clumped in one spot.

My third bit of general advice is this:

🌟Don't rush it.

It's really, really tempting to rush towards that one amazing scene you have planned out in your head - the one with the big emotional impact, the plot twist, the big scene - but don't! Hold off! We, the readers, don't know about all the details that lead up to that scene. We don't know about the layers of meaning and all the build up that leads to that great pay-off. Without that, we simply won't get it. We won't understand what you're trying to convey, or why it's such a big deal.

Take the time to build up the story, to show us how your characters learn and adapt and grow with each challenge. That journey is important. It might feel tedious, like a slog you have to get through to get from Point A to Point B, but we need it! We need those scenes, those moments, in order to stand where you want us to stand when the big scene begins, to know what we need to know and feel what you want us to feel as we watch it happen.

And finally, my fourth and final bit of specific advice:

🌟Wish fulfillment is fun, but realism is what draws us in.

We have all made Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and every possible permutation of them, even if we never quite put pen to paper with them. Many folks who get into writing start by imagining a character who serves as a kind of wish fulfillment or power fantasy put into writing. It's perfectly normal - but the thing to remember is that those characters are a bit... bland. They don't struggle. They don't fail. They don't lose. Or if they do, it's not in a meaningful way. That kind of character is so divorced from reality that it breaks the readers' suspension of disbelief.

Everyone alive has a combination of talents and failings, weaknesses and strengths, insecurities and weird quirks. That's part of the Human experience. A perfect, flawless character defies that experience, and thus we cannot relate to them. The character becomes flat and uninspiring to the audience, and once that happens all that remains is apathy. When there are no stakes, there is no investment. Why should we care about a character who will never fail against even the most overwhelming odds? We already know the ending, because the character cannot lose.

So I urge you to really look at your characters. Some folks recommend taking "Mary Sue Litmus Tests" and such to get a rough idea of how your characters might be received, and those are certainly useful tools - but they are not the only tools at your disposal. Read constantly. Watch films and documentaries alike. Try out new show and book genres, even the ones you don't think you'll like. Really look at the people around you, at how they act versus what they do, and how their unique combination of personality traits and flaws coalesce into a perfectly ordinary person. Inspiration is literally everywhere around you, if you look for it.

Now, everyone creates characters differently. Some folks start with an idea, or a core concept, and build the character around that. Others make characters more procedurally (wherein those "20+ questions about your OC" posts are actually quite useful), and some even use generators to slap a bunch of traits together to see what sticks. Some characters seem to spring fully formed from the ground one day, and others can take years of tinkering to really come into being.

Look for inspiration everywhere, and you'll eventually find a way that works best for your writing.

...I know, I know. You asked for advice and I wrote you a book. If you've made it this far, kudos. Writing can be a lot of work, but never let it be anything other than a labor of love.

[direful]

I have to ask out of curiosity if you feel up to responding! What's the appeal of transformers to you? Has it been something you've enjoyed since you were a kid or is it a more recent thing? I absolutely don't go here, the only transformers media I know about is the cartoons and big movies. I've simply genuinely never seen any other transformers fan content apart from recently because of what you reblog. Are you into mech media in general as well or does transformers simply have something about it you love in particular? What's the appeal? Etc etc :3

It’s been a while since you sent this in, my apologies! I figure I’ll answer it now since it’s the 40th anniversary of the original airdate! I've tried to answer each question roughly in order, but Transformers is one of My Things, so I got a little carried away…

It's really interesting to look at as a franchise. Of the “classic” 80s cartoons that found massive success, I think it's definitely one of the most well-known/perpetually relevant franchises. The original installation of Transformers, like most similar shows of the era, is essentially just a series of long commercials - this has never really gone away, because the main purpose of Transformers is to sell toys - and it's very interesting to me to look at decisions that have been made through that lens and how it's impacted various storylines, usually for the worse. Of course, the toys themselves are also interesting - although I have a few little guys on my shelves I’m not actually big into the collecting aspect, but many people are, and in a massive way. You could probably limit your engagement with the franchise to only learning about the many exclusives, gimmicks, flaws, misprints, knockoffs, etc. and be perfectly happy (if toy production history is your thing).

As Transformers is turning 40 (today!), there's a mountain of media to sift through, nearly all of which builds on some combination of previous elements. Like with lots of long-running franchises with multiple incarnations, it’s cool to see comparatively how early - or how recently! - certain concepts were introduced that have become ubiquitous, and what seems to “stick” vs what seems to get overwritten or forgotten. I think it’s super interesting to look at the current configuration(s) and pick out different elements, or how different versions of characters compare & how their characterization has developed through different iterations. (I find it nice that since the "main" streams of Transformers media often use variations of the same cast, it’s pretty easy to pick up a new series once you've got a passing familiarity.)

I think one of the main ingredients for fandom is a desire to improve upon or delve deeper into the source material, and that's certainly a big component of why Transformers interests me so much. One of the elements I really wish they got into more is, well, what's it like to be a giant alien robot that can turn into a car/plane/gun/cassette tape/spaceship/etc? More recent versions have had some fun with this, but I'm still craving a real deep xenofiction take on Cybertronian (er, the Transformer species) existence. So many iterations have such interesting pre-war worldbuilding (gotta explain where all that conflict comes from!) and I mourn every day that I'll never get a five-season-long Transformers prestige political drama. It’s frustrating how much possibility for interesting worldbuilding gets left on the table since it's a children's franchise and marketability comes before everything else - I find that it invokes the “but what if it was good” effect for me and I want to explore it myself.

I got into Transformers late - when I was 14. Still a child, but teens aren't exactly the main target audience, you know? At the time, I was out of school for a week with the flu and ended up on the couch binge-watching the original cartoon from 1984. I couldn't tell you what the initial appeal was besides my basic tendency to like stuff from the 80s (I’m not actually a huge mecha fan and tend to be picky about sci-fi in general), but it hooked me nonetheless! After watching the original cartoon and the corresponding movie, I bounced around a little before finding my favorite bit of Transformers media, the More Than Meets The Eye comic series published by IDW from 2012-2018. I’m sure part of it is just the fact that I was there as it was being published, so I’m pretty attached, but I do also think a massive part of the appeal to me was that this, yes, this, was one of the first pieces of media I saw myself reflected in. How was it that a Transformers comic book had more canonical gay (and transgender!) characters than anything else I was into I truly don't know, but I'll always love it for that. Also, without spoiling too much, the relationships featured over the course of the series all have very satisfying and well-written narratives (to me).

I’ve been heavily into Transformers for over a decade of my life, I just haven’t centered my blogging habits around it recently. It’s baked into my life now on a level that few other things are - it is definitely one of my interests I’ve been into the longest. A lot of my music taste has been shaped by Transformers (the author of my favorite comic would post a few songs on Twitter as the “soundtrack” for each issue, and I’m goth now in no small part thanks to him). I delved deeper into Transformers whenever I was having a hard time - they’re my emotional support robots. My Discord username has been the same Transformers reference since I made the account in 2016. I could probably hit the character limit continuing to talk about all the aspects of Transformers that appeal to me and why I think it’s genuinely really fun to get into, but we’d be here all day, and I think I’m also at risk of leaving out the real reason that I (and everyone else) likes Transformers:

The main appeal of Transformers is that big robots are cool, and big cars and stuff are cool, and big robots that turn into big cars and stuff and fight each other are the coolest.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

PS. It was a real struggle to write this without evangelizing about Why You (Yes You! Blogger Reading This!), Should Get Into MTMTE, so I’ll include my thoughts on that under the cut:

More Than Meets The Eye has a particularly good reputation: “Critics in wider comic and sci-fi fandom have praised it, with many a gushing article and award nomination. The politics, the plotting, and the gender and sexual politics have all come in for favoured nods. Most of fandom holds up 'season 1' as one of the top Transformers stories ever” (TFwiki.net) - a statement with which I wholeheartedly agree. I read the whole thing pretty much right from when it came out all the way through to when it wrapped up - something I'd never done before and still kind of can't believe I kept up with for that long, but it's really good, and I go back and reread every year or so. I find that it gets the balance of action, humor, & emotional moments just right. It’s also pretty gory, but everyone knows that robot gore doesn’t count.

The main premise is that a bunch of Autobots have set out from their ruined homeworld on An Epic Quest, mostly because now that their four-million-year-long war is over, they don't know what to do with themselves and/or are running away from their problems. The issue with that is no matter where they go, they still bring all their baggage with them…

In addition to the aforementioned gender and sexual politics that made MTMTE stick in my developing brain, there’s also a fairly prominent theme of mental illness and recovery (and what that might look like for different people) that runs throughout the comic. I think it absolutely helps the characters feel more relatable, and I’ll add a quote here from a character with his own struggles who decides that he’d like to spend his time post-war helping others so you can see a snippet of the writing: “It’s not just the labeling - it’s the distancing. It’s this idea that experiencing mental illness marks you out as bad different. Show me someone who hasn’t been affected by all the fighting. Show me someone who’s “normal” and I’ll show you someone who knows how to hide things.”

In between (and sometimes during) the wacky hijinks that come with being in a comic book, they’re dealing with the political and psychological fallout of their civil war - what does it mean to be “the good guys” now that the war is over? What did it mean to be “the good guys” in a war that lasted long enough to screw up pretty much everything their species ever touched, utterly decimated their population, and left them with a ruined shell of a homeworld? What do things look like from the opposite point of view, and what does being “the bad guys” in a post-war universe mean for the Decepticons? There’s definitely a balancing act going on between what the narrative/marketing calls for, what makes an interesting character, and what’s a sensitive/nuanced depiction, but in comparison to previous Transformers stories, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it was groundbreaking.

[psychotrenny]

Hello, please forgive me if this ask is uncalled for, I just figured you would be a good person to ask. What exactly in theory do people in communist circles here mean when they besmirch 'idealists'? I find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with most theroy I've read and generally align with most leftist beliefs. But I would still consider myself an idealist because at my core I believe everything I do because I believe in working towards an ideal world. It makes me a bit sad to see the term used so harshly. I do believe that material conditions matter more than ideals , but I still think my beliefs are based on ideals at their core, am I misattributing the label? Misunderstanding something? Thank you for taking the time to read this if you did, I don't want to use you as my personal tutor or anything, I just want to understand something and wasn't sure who to turn to. Have a nice day.

I'm going to share an extended excerpt from Philosophy and Class Struggle by an anonymous South African theoretician who went by the pen name "Dialego". The whole thing is a very good read and not super long, and while naturally it focuses most on the South African liberation struggle of the 1970s it communicates a lot of guidelines and principles that are useful for any modern revolutionary movement. In any case the below excerpt is taken from the second chapter What Is Dialectical Materialism? and I think it answers your question most thoroughly:

It is sometimes thought that a “materialist” is a person who simply looks after his own selfish interests whereas an “idealist” is one who is prepared to sacrifice for a worthwhile cause. Yet, if this were so, it would be the conservatives of this world who are the “materialists” and the revolutionaries who are moved by “idealism"! In fact, of course, “materialism” and “idealism” do not refer to vague moral attitudes of this kind. They are terms used in philosophy to describe the only two basic interpretations of the world which can be consistently held. Everyone who studies the world around him has to find the origin of things. What causes things to move, or to act or to behave in the way they do? Are the forces spiritual in origin or are they produced by the material world? Some years ago a Calvinist minister ascribed earth tremors in the western Cape to the growing disquiet of the Almighty towards modern forms of music and dress! Whereas a materialist seeks to explain the world of society and nature according to the material conditions and processes at work, the idealist believes that events take place because of the existence of spiritual forces or “ideas”. An idealist might argue that apartheid in South Africa has been brought about by the “ill-will” or “evil intentions” of white people who don’t wish to face up to reality. For a materialist, on the other hand, this “ill-will” or “evil intention” still needs to be explained, and the real reason for apartheid is not to be found in people’s heads but in their pockets, in that material system of capitalist exploitation which makes apartheid highly profitable for financial investors, factory owners and the giant farms. It is here that the roots of the system lie. We often talk about the way in which for example “anti-communist ideas” weaken our movement by creating divisions in its ranks and this of course is true. But we must never forget that these anti-communist “ideas” don’t simply fall from the skies: they reflect and arise out of the material interests of monopoly capitalism and unless they are firmly rebuffed, they are likely to make an impact on those whose stake in society, however small, makes them vulnerable to anti-communist scare-mongering Thus we can say that whereas idealism looks for an explanation of the world in terms of the “ideas”, “intentions” or “will” of people, materialism considers that the source of all events and actions is to be found in material causes or, as they are sometimes called, “the laws of nature.” It is true that cruder forms of idealism ascribe things in the world to the “will of God” whereas more subtle forms of idealism put the cause down to the ideas which exist in the heads of individuals on earth, but in neither case do idealists seek an explanation in material reality. Whereas idealism believes that the ideas in people’s heads exist outside of and independently of the world of matter, materialism contends that people’s ideas, like all other aspects of their behaviour, are the product of material causes and can only be properly understood when these causes are discovered. Materialists in fact argue that man was neither created by God nor is his origin a sheer mystery. He developed out of the world of nature through a long process of evolution and his ideas are the product of the mental activity of his brain, itself a highly developed and complex form of matter. This does not mean that materialists are not concerned about people’s ideas. On the contrary, materialists are the only people in the world who are able to explain them properly. What materialism rejects are not ideas, or their immense importance in influencing the course of events. Rather it is the idealist theory of ideas which materialists challenge, because this treats ideas as mystical forces that somehow exist independently of material reality.

[misc-obeyme]

The anon's point about the Mc's presence and how it could be more representative of a wider range of players if the character had an independent goal or mission is definitely a valid one.

But just like you said, a lot of otome games often focus on romance and relationships, with the Mc' s main motivation being to connect with and date the "main" love interests. But there is potential to introduce more complexity and appeal to players if the Mc has their own goals, motivations or missions that are separate from the romance aspect of the game.

Personally, I do think the idea of exploring the more "plot-based" angles and incorporating more elements of action-adventure into the story is a great suggestion and one that could make the narrative more engaging and relatable for us/players.

While the focus of the game may still be on romance aspects and character relationships, adding more depth and complexity through plot-driven angles can definitely add an extra layer of interest and appeal.

And I would love a buff mommy Mc or love interest by the way

I absolutely agree with everything you're saying.

The thing is, that is what you would get from something that is well written.

You are not going to get that level of consideration or good writing from a mobile otome game. Especially one that regularly rotates writers and also has a whole translation team that also mangles the story when they put it into other languages.

I love Obey Me, I really do. But the writing leaves a lot to be desired. I think it's inevitable. And honestly I think that right there is the only reason I decided to write fanfiction for it.

Because the characters have so much potential that's wasted. So why wouldn't I feel the urge to elaborate on them myself? I haven't written fic for a fandom in ages because I never felt compelled to until Obey Me came into my life. I couldn't possibly fuck it up, right?? LOL okay I'm exaggerating, it's not that bad. But they definitely have more characters than they can actually develop effectively.

So I would argue that the main story is more focused on MC's goals independent of their relationships with the characters. In the first season of OG, MC's whole goal is to get pacts, eventually the reason for this is to free Belphie from the attic. But none of that really has anything to do with MC's love story with any of the characters. You can go through that whole season and give them only platonic responses. Season two is similar in that MC's whole thing is figuring out how to deal with their "ring."

In fact, I would say that after season one, the events of each season don't even have an impact on MC's relationship with the seven brothers. The main thing that connects them and deepens their relationships in season one are the pacts. But in subsequent seasons, it doesn't seem to matter what happens, the brothers always see MC as family.

So I actually feel like the romance of the game is a side plot and even then, you can still choose to go through all of it without choosing lovey options for any of the characters.

However, they are expecting you to want to romance the characters. So they have to make MC someone that all the characters can fall in love with, whether their romance is front and center of the story or not.

Would it be more compelling for all of us if MC had a more interesting personality? Yeah, probably! But do I think these guys could pull off something like that? No, not really.

I'm not trying to bash the game or anything, obviously I totally love it. Look at my blog lol. I'm obsessed with it. But I've never found the writing to be especially good.

I've seen complaints that it's not romantic enough. I've seen complaints that it forces romance on the players. I've seen complaints that MC is too generic. I've seen complaints that MC is not generic enough. I'm sure they're doing the best they can, but I highly doubt writing quality is high on their list of concerns.

All that is to say that of course every anon that has come to my ask box about this particular topic has valid opinions on it! And you can certainly discuss what would improve the overall story. I just generally choose not to think about it too deeply because I'm not expecting anything of higher quality than what we've been getting all along. Which is just quality enough to keep me hooked lol.

Lastly, all I want in life is a buff mommy love interest asdlkfkjf not at all holding my breath, but SHEESH. Just gimme a stunning muscular demon lady, huh? I would die on the spot.

[tojigasm]

As I've gotten older, I've realized that I've somewhat parted with fanfiction. I still indulge here and there and still enjoy writing and the practice of it, of course, but overall, I feel as though I'm searching for a piece of my younger self when I do. I often catch myself reading fanfics for more nostalgic purposes rather than to simply enjoy the piece and of course there are my favorites in which I do truly enjoy the work itself and the image that's created for myself but overall, it's not often I do. In no way is this a parting message from my account, but it's at the same time just a reflection I'm producing based on my own observation of myself from this past year. I love to write and write, I will. but I've found that my writing isn't always something that should be shared with the whole world per se. I don't like people telling me what I can and can't write about. I want to challenge myself to produce meaningful and real characters and to adopt the personality of those whom I want to write about. I want to write intriguing things that are controversial (not in a bad way) but in one that makes people think or makes people reflect on my other work pieces in regard to my succeeding in approaching a different work separate from another one or maybe even have feedback on how the writing came across/if I embodied the character correctly. I just feel as though I can't do that on here often so I've sort of ventured away from producing fanfiction and writing in general. I don't want to be put under a microscope because I want to write about a specific thing/tv show/artist. I just want to write and perceive. Idk if any of this makes sense, I'm just rambling for the most part. Just my thoughts.