#this is of course a generalization but still something i've found myself thinking about often

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol

[desktop-alt-f4]

I'm the opposite of that one ask, in that you view minecraft nothing like I do, but I am absolutely in love with the world that you've given me a peek into. Your skill and dedication to getting these feelings across, especially through a tool like mspaint, is nothing short of incredible. I love seeing things that I've never seen before, and I've never seen anything like your art before.

This is about to be the weirdest compliment, so give me a moment to explain myself, but something about some of your art, especially and mostly the speedrunning piece, made me think it was AI generated at first--not the kind of AI generated that is corporations and people trying to create something generic and marketable with as little thought and cost as possible, though.

Specifically, similar to Secret Horses (if you've ever seen that piece), where it's a love letter between artist and computer in attempting to synthesize an extremely specific feeling down to it's bare bones, leaving everything else to fall away to the uncanny valley. That's something that computers have always been very good at--human artists will naturally try and create something that makes sense even in the small and unimportant details, while a computer can only make exactly what you tell it to, which means it will often create something uncanny valley because you told it to make 'horses' and the only way it was taught to (you taught it to) make horses was these sort of shapes, so you end up with something that isn't colored like a horse, doesn't have any limbs or a tail or even a definite side that is the 'front' of the horse, but it still somehow feels like a horse. Computers, in that way, are a very good tool for discovering that uncanny valley of exposing your expectations and the reality of what you asked the computer to do.

I think the incredible part to me is that your speedrunner piece has found that place in the uncanny valley through the other direction, in more ways than one. Within the piece of art, depicting a speedrunner making a run, the player has become so intimately familiar with the game that many important parts of it have become background noise, unimportant. They've even purposefully filtered out things (like the shape of the dragon, leaving only it's hitboxes) that were deemed unnecessary for the sake of the run. Engaging with only the very smallest part of the wide expanse of the game. This world has never seen a bowl of mushroom soup. It's never had a paddock full of sheared sheep eating the grass. There will never be an enchanting table used, or a fish caught, or a dog tamed. Not because those things were unknown, but because the speedrunner knows everything there is to know about them... and then decided they were weren't useful. Minecraft, but also not. And Outside the art and the story it's telling, the actual art itself (and of course the inside and outside of the art can't be separated, but) It's instantly recognizable as Minecraft, it has the right shapes to be Minecraft. It lives in the same place in all of our heads that has come to pattern match to this incredibly popular game that lives within the grander social zeitgeist. But also the shapes aren't quite correct. The hotbar is messy, unfocused. The further away you get from the 'target' of the dragon, the most round and bubbly the ground gets, as it's not something the speedrunner will need to walk on and thus won't be necessary to look at. There are things missing that should be there, things stretched out in ways they never would be in game. And yet somehow it's still Minecraft. A synthesis of what Minecraft feels like, if not what it looks like. It feels like you yanked an image directly out of someone's head, pulling the curtain away on the illusion that our brain provides for us to live in--because we feel like we can see all the things around us, but in reality we can only focus on a very small part of the world in front of us, and everything else is just patched together by our brain in our peripheral vision.

It's just... very very cool, and I think shows the other end of the bell-curve that you can find yourself on, where something has become so intimately familiar to you that you have the capability to strip it to it's most bare bones, it's essence--except, when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to become a good measure.

All that to say that I love speedrunning and I love your art and I feel bad for Jean (who's name I only learned today, ironically from a piece of art that depicts her as nothing more than a box to be slain (but I guess that's also sort of the point of the art is to make you think about that, huh?))

holy fuck. reading this whole ask took some time (Wtflip!!! you spent time sending me an essay-length ask about my art and what you like about it????) and i don't even know how to respond. i don't know how to respond positively through words. i really like the reference to secret horses - it's not exactly what i'm going for (moreso the feeling of a memory, but i suppose secret horses is the feeling of a memory of horses you saw once years ago), but i can definently see it and i feel honoured because i love secret horses (and other images of the same genre).

gosh. i genuinely dont know how to respond to this further. thank you so much. i've never had someone describe my art, how and why they like it in such length.

and, hah. i suppose art is that way. i know jean?'s name isn't known by everyone - but the fact people learn her name because of an art piece where she's nothing but a target to be killed is fascinating :')

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

This probably isn’t the right place to ask, but is it normal to just feel a little uncertain about how you view the show now after hearing so much stuff about it or having seen a lot of fan material that elevate the source material?

It just feels weird to rewatch a little of the show that I kind of don’t do that anymore or let it play in the background.

That's super normal, especially in large fandoms where the fan content vastly outweighs the canon content. There are literally millions of words of Miraculous fic out there. You can read a new story a day and still have thousands left because there are currently 73K fics on AO3. That's over 200 years of fics! An episode a day will take you about half a year. If you're the kind of person who likes to read fanfic or participate in fan discussions, then it's not shocking that you're at risk of getting a warped view of canon because of the way fanon often works.

It's pretty common to see fanon go where canon never dared to tread. This can lead to an interesting disconnect between super fans and canon where popular fanon takes get treated like canon by fans as those takes just straight up consume the fandom. Then you go back to canon and it's jarring because you've spend so much time in fanon that you've internalized all that fanon, creating this alternate, idealized view of the source that has no real backing in the text.

You've got an Avengers logo as your profile pic and I was in that fandom for a while, so let's use that as an easy example. Avengers fanon is found family central! Fans love to bond the team because of course they do! Superhero teams generally should be found families! But canon never actually did that, so watching the movies after reading some fics can be disheartening because you're suddenly reminded that canon never gave us a found family. That's just in your head and the heads of many other fans.

Miraculous does this to an extreme with Ladynoir. Read some fanfics and you can internalize this idea that they're partners like no other with a close bond of love and trust. Then you go watch canon and it's like, oh, right, that never actually happened in the actual show. Ooops. Time to readjust my expectations for the new season.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's generally a reflection of people longing for something that the source will never give them so they go, "fine, I'll do it myself!" And can lead to wonderful things that bring us great joy because you're rarely alone in that longing! But if you're finding that kind of joy in fanon, I've found that it often - but not always! - means that you probably didn't like canon as much as you thought you did.

I know that I personally only seek out fan content when something about canon is lacking. I don't seek out fan content for works I adore because canon is giving me everything I want. Sometimes the thing that's lacking is pretty minor, sometimes it's a major flaw in the source. When it's a minor flaw, fanon is just there to patch a few cracks and I'm still happy to enjoy canon. When it's a major flaw or major flaws? Fanon is my canon now.

That "fanon is my canon now" take only becomes a bad thing when we start blaming the creators for not giving us the things we internalized from fanon, which can and does happen when the fanon disconnect becomes more extreme. Like when fanon takes a character and warps them into a new version of themself with only minor backing in the text. That's always an especially jarring thing to come across.

Miraculous isn't too bad about that one, but there are certainly popular fanon takes that don't come from canon like Marinette keeping the identities a secret because she's afraid that Chat Noir will be disappointed by plain old Marinette compared to the amazing and cool Ladybug. I don't think that's a huge stretch for a potential conflict, but it's got almost no backing in the actual text. Canon Marinette keeps her secret identity for safety reasons and she's generally pretty confident in her role as Ladybug. But if you've read a bunch of fics with secret-identities-only-exist-because-I'm-insecure Marinette and fallen in love with that concept? Then it's gonna be hard to watch canon and follow the actual conflict.

This was a bit of a ramble, but hopefully it was reassuring! I totally get where you're coming from and find it particularly hard for media that you genuinely loved at one point. I never loved Miraculous, but I had genuine hopes for The Avengers and still feel a little sad that the MCU never gave us any found family content outside of the opening of Ultron. It makes it less fun to rewatch even the good movies knowing that it will never deliver the things I was hoping for.

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

I'm new to your blog, so please let me know if I am not following the rules, I hope I don't offend!

I love the Ford Mustang. There are a bunch of eras that I appreciate, but my first love is the 5th generation - the mid-2000s look with round headlights. I love and miss the round headlights.

Disclaimer: I don't drive. I don't own a car.

My question for you is: Did Ford really release an SUV Mustang?! For the love of all things, whyyy? It made me want to yell when I saw my first one in a mall parking lot. Is there also like a hatchback/station wagon?? WTF is going on?? Am I crazy? I am still upset over seeing this and learning it wasn't a hallucination when I saw another one months later.

... I'm only mildly upset, barely upset (as again, I don't actually drive, so what does it actually matter to me?) ... But I am still thinking about it.

Do you have any thoughts on this expansion of the "meaning" of the Mustang? Has it reached your neck of the woods? I'm in Canada. Were you horrified/intrigued/something else when you learned about this? I searched your blog for all your posts tagged Ford Mustang and figured I'd try sending an ask for your thoughts if you feel like sharing any!

Thanks for reading my little rant! This ask was sent for fun, you're not obligated to respond in any way. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

LOL @ rules. Dear reader, these posts get sidetracked so often pretending otherwise is a running gag*; my post about the Opel Kadett has aliens in it; there is a tag called #lgbt cars and half a dozen series I have started and not finished (yet!), and one 1k word installment of them was directly followed by a silly edit of a tweet... safe to say you'll be fine XD

Safe to say all the rest, too. Like, I appreciate the care, but if you contribute primo material to a blog whose pinned encourages interacting with to your heart's content and its author gets offended about it... well, to editorialize, I don't see how that someone deserves your courteousness. And to not editorialize, fuck that guy. That is to say: you don't need to worry about coming off as offensive :) . Unless, of course, I missed something and it's actually totally reasonable to get mad about your ask. In which case: HOW DARE YOU. (I am kidding. I would forgive you anyway because you have good intentions and I'm not an asshole. Unless I am. In which case: HOW DARE YOU.)

Wait, what was this ask about again?

Oh, right, the Mustang.

How did I get sidetracked like this? I swear it never happens. *see?

As I've previously mentioned (and indeed you've read), child me was obsessed with it, starting exactly from the S197! And honestly, as someone who's not owned a car for a lot of very strongly opinionated years, I admire you for only being modestly upset about it. The last time Ford did this, I wasn't as restrained. And the Mustang Mach-E... that did it to the most cherished car of my childhood...

...I don't hate nearly as much.

Huh?

To be clear, when news originally broke out... I barely remember it at all, actually, but I'm pretty sure it felt like the world was ending. Then again, I was 17, so most things did. Now though, I think my brain filed it under "Fine, I guess". But why?

Doug DeMuro recently made a video about his "hot take" cars, and one of them was the Mini Countryman, another SUVy version of a car I love - his argument being that it doesn't really matter if a car doesn't live up to what it owes its name to if it's a good, interesting, fun car overall.

And I found myself agreeing.

About the Countryman.

I mean, he's right! If you judge it on its own merits, it's a charming, characterful, fun little car! Maybe I just give the Mach-E a pass because I like that sportified electric SUV so dang much okay next theory.

But maybe it's the first part that we should focus on - that Doug DeMuro said he likes the thing! Could it have been his enthusiastic Mach-E review, or Regular Car Reviews' understanding take on the move, that swayed me to like it m- to dislike it less?

Well, the former proudly bought a first generation A Class and I still resent that it outsold the Audi A2 it competed with despite looking like a grandmother reading a meme, so that can't be all there is to it.

But maybe, it's not what it is, but what else there is? After all, the Mini Countryman shines most atop the slab o' drab that is its segment. That's also a strong argument for the 500L, after all...

...and really, for the larger Living version especially.

Does that lengthening of the rear section make the grace evaporate from its proportions so hard even the front look worse? Perhaps. Does it look like a 500L was running away from someone and they grabbed it from the back saying "You're not going anywhere"? Vaguely. But the last time Fiat had tried its hand at seating more than five I had to put a trigger warning on the result.

So maybe it's just that the electric SUV market is so dire, so awful, so wretched, that-

Alright, next theory.

You know, maybe, instead of looking at what works for me, we should look at what didn't. Especially considering that I like the above examples more than the Mach-E anyway. (Well, at least on principle. I can't stomach the back of a 500L Living in practice.) And I think it's because the basic idea of those versions is to take the core stylistic traits of the standard car and applying them to a different body style, and that just doesn't work with a Mustang. Its core traits are so inescapably tied to its body style that transposing them to any other would either stretch them beyond recognition or make them look like a weird mask draped over the car. See that F-150 with a Mustang front.

Wait, this actually works better than the Mach-E.

Alright, it seems I need to bust out something truly wretched for the Mach-E to score some points here.

I'm sorry to do this to you.

This is the Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross.

Fuck this piece of shit.

THERE IT IS! There's the anger. But surely, then, I should feel even more of it about the 2010s Dodge Dart I was writing about when I first mentioned this dreadful vehicle on the blog, right?

After all, look at this shit. They are so completely, utterly far apart...

...that I don't even register them as related. They just feel like two cars with the same name. I didn't cry that the Dodge Dart was no longer a muscle car in the same way I don't cry that the Suzuki Splash didn't get a stepside bed.

Okay, in my defense that was a joke.

Like the Eclipse Cross.

Okay, that isn't fair. My joke was lighthearted and fun. Culminating the lineage of one of the 90s' most beloved tuner cars with a crossover sharing a footprint if that is when dark humor crosses my line.

I think that reflects a bit of a bell curve when it comes to revivals. The original Dart was so old I didn't have any meaningful connection to it - and though that was partly me being very young and in the wrong continent, if you fished far enough back it'd go for a lot more people. Reviving a 30s car? Piece of cake. Seven people would even notice. Similarly, "reviving" a 5 year old car? Just update it! In the middle is where things get more complicated than an X Games skate trick.

"Watch! I'll do a frontside 360!"

*ragdolls lifelessly down the ramp sliding to a stop at the bottom while the skateboard rolls up the other end and comes back down to bang on the helmet*

"Tada!"

Yes, I am putting myself through thinking about this blood-boiling insult again (the things I do for y'all), because it's useful to illustrate how and why this would've been a frontside 360 and a half. A frontside 540.

Because there, you have what the Supra had to deal with - an ancestor miles removed from anything current cars can afford to be, whose spirit muddied over time with the traits of cars of its era. But with the Capri it's even trickier, because it never evolved either. It may seem like it would make things simpler - fewer identities to bring together, ask the 400Z what hassle that is...

...but really, an evolution boils down a model's identity to what few traits persist through the iterations, and creates leeway for experimentation in other areas. It creates the idea of a core spirit that changes and adapts to the times. And, pretty much inevitably, it introduces highs and lows.

See: the Eclipse, and its Elvis-like arc. It immediately made a splash...

picked up steam and the youth's attention...

...and with time gained bulk and lost performance, befitting an aging demographic, its looks becoming more fussy and confused...

...culminating in a graceless end and a scrappy final photograph.

No, I didn't take these. They're the official press pictures of the last Eclipse ever, exactly as delivered to the press.

Yikes.

By contrast, the Capri's more like Kurt Cobain - it didn't live long enough for its essence to get warped by the times. If you look at its "three generations"...

Well, to quote an earlier line in this post, "Alright, it seems I need to bust". But my actual point was that they're essentially the same. It maintained its taut, youthful coolness, and left us before time could wear its schtick out and force it to either find a way to evolve or become embarrassingly outdated.

This is why the new... no, I don't even want to humor Ford about this. This is why that thing invokes such intense hatred - because the Capri was a specific idea etched into our minds with crisp detail and looked back on with rose tinted glasses. We are almost unrealistically kind to it - we look at its now weak performance within the context of its day, but appreciate its then normal analog simplicity in the context of today, and so on. And we want a new one to represent what we felt about the car, how we remember it, rather than its actual role and characteristics.

The Mustang, tho? Eminem.

Made a splash...

...made some trash...

(Yep! The Mustang hatchback is real!)

...got back on its feet (luckily, little else was meaningfully less of a heap in those miserable years, so the Mustang II still sold well enough to get a new model)...

(There it is again!)

...and through highs and lows is still going to this day, with very annoying people sticking their heads in unrelated conversations to tout it as Still The GOAT.

(And indeed, this is the second verse of Calm Down on wheels.)

And that's the real point.

The Mach-E is not like that time in the '90s when only public outcry stopped Ford from making the next Mustang a front wheel drive sport coupe based on the Mazda 626.

Well, actually it is like that, because they still ended up making and selling it, just alongside a new Mustang - as the Probe.

And it was decent and it sold well and everyone was fine with it.

Because no, a front wheel drive captive import sports coupé in no way fit the Mustang ethos, but no car needs to be a Mustang if there's still a Mustang to bear the Mustang torch. And such is the case for the Mini Countryman, such is the case for the 500L, and such is the case for the Mustang Mach-E.

The Mach-E didn't take the Mustang away from me. It didn't rip its name out of a rest it deserved to stay in. It didn't shoehorn itself into a legacy it didn't belong in nor live up to like The Heart Part 6 (and that's my yearly musical reference quota met).

It's not claiming to be the new Mustang. It's just another Mustang. And, as you've read me say before, providing an option, however unfitting, will never offend me near as much as making it what we're stuck with.

And no, there was no wagon version. But there are a handful of cases of first gen examples being converted into shooting brakes, each with its own fascinating story. And of course, a plethora of renders of shooting brake Mustangs of every ilk - and some of them, in my humble opinion, fuck.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

P.S. To my first points - in addition to those unfinished series, there are year old asks still waiting in my drafts. So again, worry not, I'm well aware you do and can not force me to respond. But they will be answered someday, because I can, and, be it sooner or later, I will. This is a promise. Slash threat. Slash j.

[mtkay13]

Affection running deep

(^ me pretending I title my illustrations) More info below! It's a bit personal and fandom related.

So WKX likes to bite. Let's be honest, from what I know, most priest "gong"'s do, so this is more a priest thing than a WKX thing--but if we look at TYK in a vacuum, we can still just say that it's a WKX thing (and, coincidentally, in Qi Ye, a Wuxi thing 🤭) It's pretty delightful, isn't it, to think that ZZS will permanently bear the scar of WKX's deep bite in his wrist... I'm going to use this piece as an opportunity to talk a bit about the permanent mark that TYK and QY have been carving into me for the past year and a half, then.

Funnily enough, although I started sketching and making a few illustrations here and there before, I consider that the infamous bite is my real "entry" in this fandom, when I made the animatic based on the scene in the audio drama. It's to this day my most viewed piece, and is sort of what made me... "known" as an artist in the fandom, I guess.

Although I've always devoted the most energy to personal projects, I'm no stranger to being a dedicated fan, even though this is my first real, "public" fandom experience. And honestly, personal and fandom projects combined, the animatic is the biggest, most ambitious work I had ever done so far for something not work-related. It was exhausting, and I almost succumbed to burnout after I finished it (just because, combined with work, it got too much). Ironically, it's the state I found myself in afterwards that made me enjoy rereading TYK in a way I never had before.

It's hard to say, whether I let TYK's fangs sink in my throat, or if I was the one to latch on and not let go ever since; but my life has certainly been changed by it.

I often forget about the bite scene; about the bite, in general. It's rarely ever one of the scenes that I think about spontaneously--and I rarely think about drawing the bite scar. Maybe because I've always thought it was a more typical scene? Maybe because on the surface I didn't resonate that much with it? And yet, as I'm going through really rough times right now, this new piece is what I chose to draw yesterday. A bit more than a year ago, when work felt like it was completely consuming me, this is the scene I chose to animate. I'm not sure there is a point in diving too deeply in this. Maybe, more than I would have assumed, I resonate with the desperation and hope that this scene carries. I'm glad I got here, in this fandom. It has had its very difficult moments, in many different ways, and I've discovered new sources of anxiety along the way--but at the same time, I've discovered many joys that I had never known before, and I think it's worth it. I'm grateful for those books to be in my life--grateful for Wen Kexing, for Zhou Zishu, and all the other characters, to be in my life. But of course, more than that, I'm incredibly grateful for the people I met, for the people who spend time with me, who cheer on me and let me cheer on them. Thanks everyone, for being there, and helping me form memories of better days that I can always look forward to.

I'm glad I'm here.

[olderthannetfic]

I found myself rereading an old discussion about AO3 commenting culture (ye olde "Authors aren't owed comments" vs. "Readers aren't owed fic either" wank). And you know, it strikes me that a lot of the drama in such discussions is rooted in the fact that people only ever seem to engage with the worst things the opposite side says. And of course that leads to miscommunication, because the extremes are not generally applicable to most people.

Like, for instance. Someone going "I comment so regularly I practically gave myself burn-out commenting". Authors complaining about people who act entitled to stories aren't talking about you, I promise. They're talking about people who genuinely can't be bothered or go on flippant "Why don't you just write for yourself?" rants, while still enjoying other people's work. Ditto on the other side: people get offended at being called entitled authors, but odds are good the person isn't referring to you, who would simply like to not shout into the void, odds are good they're referring to the asshole authors they've met who'd throw hissy hits over comments that weren't phrased exactly to their liking, because yes, people like that do exist so it's simply flat out wrong to say "Just comment, authors are always happy to see comments, no matter how short! :)"

Also, a particular comment jumped out at me:

"It's not a consumer's job to compliment a promote an artist's work"

I generally agree that acting like people are owed comments is useless and stupid, but if I had to pick a phrasing that sums up my misgivings about common commenting culture, it's this. So many people seem to act like authors are getting a paycheck for this and don't need any additional motivator.

The other thing that bugs me is when people talk about all the reasons they don't comment (low spoons, anxiety, tired, etc.), but ignore the fact that authors have to deal with all of the above, too. And not just in fanfic. It seems any time there's any kind of social conflict being discussed (like, say, replying to a friend's messages in a vaguely timely manner) a ton of people will trot out excuses for why they can't do [insert what's generally seen as the vaguely courteous thing to do], but inadvertently act like that makes them special and like they're the only ones who have these legitimately valid excuses.

This started in one place and led to another, sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated with the Tumblr mental health culture of "I have a semi-specific reason I struggle with this so I'm not even going to try". I think people overcompensate too much for "Just don't be disabled!"-style ableism and swing too hard in the embraced helplessness direction.

Back to fanfic, every time I see the "I can't do it because of X" thing in the context of commenting, I can't help but think of how many authors also deal with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, low spoons, etc. and how easy it would have been for them to give up, but they got through it and posted the fanfic anyway, and how often they're then met with silence because the prevailing attitude among their audience is e.g. "I read this before bed and was too sleepy to comment, and too forgetful to comment the next day". I think about some of the fic I've written, often fic written when I maybe should have been doing something else, or fic written at the cost of sleep, or hyperfixating at my keyboard for six hours instead of going for a nice hike with my family, and it's hard not to get a little bitter, you know? Talking about legitimate reasons for why commenting is hard just so often comes across as "You're free to make sacrifices to write the stuff I read, but I won't make any"

I also feel a bit bitter that it's impossible to even discuss these things in a vacuum without someone going "Discussions like this are why I've stopped commenting", as someone inevitably will in the notes of this post. "Just shut up and make your Content(TM) and don't complain about anything", is what it feels like.

--

The entire phrasing of reward and owing is stupid.

The reality is that lots of people won't produce work unless they feel like someone cares. No amount of moralizing or excuses will change that.

It's also the reality that posting to the masses on AO3 or tumblr will result in maybe one like or other interaction per hundred hits if you're really, really lucky. The rate has never been much better than that, and it never will be. It's often very much worse.

If one personally wants to encourage people, sure, go out and do that, but any call to action that ignores the above two realities is like fighting the tide.

I do think "It's not my job to promote you" typically comes up in the context of meltdowns about letting artists "languish in your likes" instead of being reblogged onto your actual blog and/or contexts where the artist/author/etc. is selling their work.

Here's the thing: people who never comment do not count.

They think they're part of a community. They're not. If you don't participate, you're a ghost.

When some author moves to a more enclosed space, a lot of people who saw themselves as part of something are suddenly left out in the cold, wondering why. But the fact is, if you don't pay the entry fee of socializing with others, you're nobody to them.

The entitled randos don't matter. If they bug you enough, take your toys and retreat to a discord with your friends.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[iztea]

Do you like drawing in a sense that it relaxes you? Like a hobby you‘re looking forward to after a day of work. Do you feel joy while you draw?

I‘m currently battling my art demons and came to the conclusion that drawing actually makes me feel shitty a lot of the time because I only take joy out of the results yk? So if it‘s good, great! If I get overwhelmed woah my world is breaking down. My therapist told me I need a hobby that actually relaxes me and that I like solely for itself, not connected to performance, and I was wondering if drawing is just generally the wrong thing for that or if there‘s a way for people to actually enjoy it in a relaxing way.

You‘re so open about your drawing process and you‘re my favorite art account so you fell victim to my question haha but I get that this ask is pretty specific and kinda weird, don‘t feel pressured to answer :)

i do very much enjoy drawing in a relaxing way; for me, it's the equivalent of playing video games or watching Netflix so, in a way, i think of drawing as "unproductive work". Not sure if you're actually looking for a solution-based answer to your problem or if you just want to hear my side/my opinion on the matter, but I'll try to delve into both. 

I think for me personally, I've always found drawing to be relaxing for the most part. Frustration is always to be expected, of course, but I wouldn't say it ruins the mood, it's just something that comes and goes. The only unpleasant part about drawing for me is strictly related to the social media aspect or just making it public. Now, I'm not sure if you have an art account as well or how much you relate to this but I very often dread posting stuff online. I kinda have to force myself almost every time to make something public because I hate the applause but I am also rational enough to understand that art is meant to be shared with others, even if I personally don't feel a strong need to... It's just one of those human behaviour things you have to mimic or adapt to get by, similar to many other things that don't make sense to me personally but I cognitively understand why they happen but I digress

 When it comes to the process itself, I actually enjoy it more than the final result. If I had a lot of fun experimenting with brushes and new techniques and crazy effects i saw online then i get a sense of joy no matter the end result, and here is where my first piece of advice comes into play: learn to enjoy the process without thinking of the destination. For me, even when I do have a clear idea in mind, it always fluctuates and I let it fluctuate. Sometimes it even looks like shit. So what? It's just for your eyes, who cares if it doesn't look good? Just call it a flop and move to another thing, or revisit it sometime later when your skills improve. This is even easier when you do not have an art account where you share your art, there's zero pressure, you're creating the pressure yourself.

Just think about it: 

>why do you feel shitty and overwhelmed? -> because you care about the end result

>why do you care? -> because if it turns out bad, it feels like wasted time. or because you put your worth into what you create or because [  fill in your answer here ]

>do you still want to continue drawing? -> if there is a way to enjoy it in a relaxing way, then yes i assume

Ok great! Then, the solution is to remove that root feeling of disappointment, overwhelm or despair by learning to appreciate the process of creation and bask in the uncertainty of it instead of being so dead-set on the final piece. If you are not content enough with your skills to end up drawing something that you're always satisfied with, and if it causes you this much distress, then drop your expectations and don't reach the finish line. I mean this literally: draw forever-WIPs. Sketches. Doodles. Don't render, don't even try to think of a color palette. Don't Finish Your Art. Enjoy the process of discovery, of trial-and-error of indecision and I can assure you it will be during these moments when you'll find the relaxation you're looking for.

Enjoyment and relaxation, in my experience, come from two places/approaches: 1. the subject itself and/or 2. noticing improvement in your skills.

To give you an example, when I was sick with fever I drew Dazai as that "let's take ibuprofen together" meme and I thought it was the best shit in the world I was on cloud nine and giggling to myself. Looking back on that art, I now realize it looks terrible (and i lowkey want to redraw it) but back then i was laughing while drawing it and felt Great. because I was drawing something i thought it was funny. Not even once did I think "oh man, I hope this turns out nice ohh it will be so awful if it doesn't the world will explode" because that was not its purpose. Granted i was a bit,,,,,, unwell given my sickly state but my point still stands! So, what I'm trying to say here is that you can try drawing "funny/silly" things as a way to sort of lessen that burden of expectations. Or just something you reaaalllly want to see and you know no one else will do it. Taking matters in your own hands type beat

The second way to enjoy drawing in a relaxing way is by taking the other route: instead of focusing on the subject matter, try focusing on new techniques, new brushes, new tutorials or approaches you found online. Basically, focus on improving your skills in a fun-no-pressure-no-strings-attached way while keeping your subject of choice neutral or uninteresting. Or maybe take the artwork of an artist you really like and try to deconstruct it/ reverse engineer it and apply it to your own art. But whatever you do or choose, just never finish it. let them stay as wips or else you won't be very.. relaxed.

*please note this is an "and/or" statement, so you can absolutely do both: try a new technique you found while drawing something that you also enjoy for uhhhhhhhhhhh relaxmaxxing as the would kids say

Lastly, what I would highly recommend is listening to Adam Duff's podcasts, he really hits the nail on the head when it comes to such topics and more, he really narrates and explores that soulful part of an artist way better than I ever could with this answer so please check him out, I think you'll find your answers there

[musette22]

hey minnie,

How do you find quality stucky fics in this vast ocean of pornography these days??? These last few years, I swear I barely get to read a decent stucky fic. I don't mind smut but come on, one can only read much too much filth until all filth looks the same. every once in a while you find something worthwhile to read but most of the time it feels like it's 1:50

Hi there! First of all, I think I understand what you're asking, but I'm also just a bit confused, because the way you've phrased it makes it sound like smut fics (or pornography, as you put it) can't also be quality fics, and that just doesn't sound right to me.

Well-written smut, with good characterization, is incredible, in my opinion. Granted (although there's absolutely nothing wrong with it), I'm also less into smut that is purely smut, in which the characters feel like they could be interchangeable with anyone, but I've always found it easy enough to avoid those types of fics. But I love me some filth from time to time, and I write quite a bit of it myself, so you might not be asking the right person...

Moreover, in my opinion, what constitutes quality fanfiction is extremely subjective. There are many older fics that have thousands of kudos and oodles of comments, which I personally didn't rate very highly. Conversely, there are some fics out there that I consider absolute gems, but which haven't gotten much love or attention at all. So without knowing more about what type of fic you do enjoy, I can't really help you.

But if I consider your question in a more general way, I would say that for me, when it comes to finding quality fic these days (and I'm assuming you mean "new" fic, not older stuff), following the writers whose work you enjoy is a huge part of it. Not all of them will have a Tumblr, but I'd say most of them do, and if you find them and give them a follow (and/or subscribe to their work on AO3), you'll never have to miss another fic they post. There are definitely quite a few incredible Stucky writers still very much active in the fandom right now, so make sure you look them up and hit follow.

I personally haven't experienced a shortage of great new Stucky fic yet (in fact, I still struggle to keep up with newly posted work a lot of the time), nor do I feel like the majority of what's posted these days is pure smut, but then I do exist within what you might call a "fandom bubble" (i.e. a space I curated for myself, filled with people (whose taste) I trust, and whose recommendations often lead me to expand that bubble to include more talented and awesome people, including writers).

Also, I personally strongly believe that what you experience as a shortage of "decent" fics (by which I assume you mean well-written, longer works with lots of plot and complex charactization, as opposed to just light on the smut) is also very much connected to a very unfortunate development that's been occurring in fandom over the last few years, possibly due to the influence of Instagram and Twitter, and that is the SIGNIFICANT decrease in engagement from readers such as yourself. Of course, the Stucky fandom has become smaller since EG and that naturally entails fewer readers (and writers) etc., that's just how it is. But it's not so much about the hits & follows as it is about the amount of (positive) feedback, comments and love authors receive on their works, which has decreased disproportionately even to that natural decline. There are still so many wonderful people who do leave comments and love on their favourite fics, but it seems like those people are in the minority these days.

I speak from personal experience when I say that writers will write much more and share that writing much more freely if they feel like their efforts are appreciated and their enthusiasm is (noticeably) shared by others. If authors feel like they're just shouting into the void, they'll be much less inclined to continue writing, ESPECIALLY long, complex, multi-chapter fics that take a lot of time and effort to produce.

So basically, for a large part, the power is in your hands here, anon. If you can, please leave long, detailed comments on the works of your favourite authors. Make art or moodboards or playlists based on fics. Share their work by reblogging it, gushing about it to others in the fandom, send them asks or DMs about their work and let them know how much you appreciate them. It'll work like a charm, I promise you!

[theoats99]

The Truth Always Comes Out - Simon Kelleher

Note - So I've been fixing to write something from the prompt list again, but haven't gotten anymore asks, which is okay! So I have just decided to indulge myself with one of the SFW ones. Please ask away too! I'm always accepting asks, for both the prompt list and also in general.

Word Count - 1,555

Prompt #7 From the SFW sections

Prompt list here!

It’s almost two months into you and Simon seeing each other when everyone finds out. While at school you two acted like friends, or even like you two liked each other but didn’t know how to take the next step, sometimes a little too friendly with each other. It had become a rule when you started dating that no pda in school was for the best. Simon had worried mostly that if everyone found out they would treat you the same way they treated him, with the hateful looks, the shoves in the halls, the gossip he could hear, the whispers of him he’d hear in his classes. He liked it at first, going from being that kid with good grades and rich parents, that kid the jocks would push around and call names in the locker room, but then becoming feared. 

He liked that people didn’t mess with him as much, the jocks stayed clear of him, scared he’d find some dirt on them and broadcast it to everyone. But then when you came into his life, and especially when you started dating, he’d felt better than he had in a long time. He made up for the lack of pda in school with trips outside of school, driving anywhere you might want, or taking trips to the beach, anything you wanted he did. 

As it would happen, like most things in his life, someone saw you two kiss outside of school and by Monday morning everyone knew, except you and Simon of course. It’s Monday morning and Simon is getting ready for school, he’s about to leave to go pick you up when he gets a call from Janae.

“Hey, can’t whatever this is about wait until I see you at school?” He’s already running later than he’d like, accidentally sleeping in.

“No, dude this is kinda bad.” Janae tells him, she sounds frantic.

“Okay?” He questions back. “Are you going to tell me what this bad thing is?” He’s impatient, voice biting back sharply.

“So Maeve just told me that she heard from a friend that their friend heard you and Y/N were at some place on Saturday and you guys kissed. So I’m obviously like what no way, they are my best friends. I would know if they were dating. Cause I obviously know about you guys but I promised you that I wouldn’t say anything. But Simon it sounds like everyone knows, like I mean literally everyone.” Simon stills, you two had gone to an ice cream place about twenty minutes from Bayview this weekend. A small shop that his mom used to take him to, he’d told you about their blue moon ice cream and you had begged him to take you, he couldn’t say no to you so your two went. The kiss was short, barely even lasting ten seconds, but it was enough for someone to see. 

“Shit.” He whispers, sitting down on his bed.

“Yeah, I just wanted to let you know. It doesn’t really seem like there's any proof so you could deny it all, but I doubt the school would believe you. And really it’s not like you guys did anything wrong at all too, just being a couple! And I really think you worry too much Simon, I don’t think the school is going to like shun her for dating you.” Janae is rambling, she does it often when she’s nervous, or scared, Simon doesn’t know which one she is right now. Simon knows he’s scared though, he doesn’t find comfort in Janae trying to reassure him.

“Yeah, maybe.” He mumbles. “I gotta go, I’m already behind, gotta go pick Y/N up.” He tells her before hanging up. He sits there a moment longer, takes a deep breath and texts you that he’s on the way and he’s sorry he’s late. You text back immediately with a ‘No worries!’. 

The whole drive to your house he's terrified, he needs to tell you before you both get to school. His head is spinning with possible scenarios, what if you tell him it’s not worth the trouble and you leave him, or you get angry at him for not being more careful. When he arrives your waiting for him outside, he takes you in like he’ll never see you again. 

“Hey.” You smile and greet him, it eases some of his worries, but you can see it on his face causing your own smile to drop a little. “Everything okay Simon?” You ask, your voice softer this time. He’s not sure what to say to you, he wishes he could just be brave and tell you everything here and now but he opens his mouth and nothing comes out, he feels so stupid.

He feels even worse when he looks at your face, you look worried for him, he shakes his head and starts driving to school. “‘M fine.” He mutters, and you clearly don’t believe him.

“I find that hard to believe, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost Simon.” You tell him, he smiles at the phrase, seeing a ghost would be easier than having you tell you this, easier than dealing with whatever aftermath you might deal his way. He’s trying to pay full attention to driving, something to distract from his own thoughts, driving with you was always challenging. He just wanted to look at you most days, today was no different, but he was scared that if he looked at you his courage would break, that he’d never be able to tell you. 

“Everyone at school knows.” He blurts out, his heart thumping so loud that it’s all he hears. He’s so in his head he doesn’t hear your answer, it’s not until you touch his thigh he comes back down.

“Okay, and?” You tell him once he looks at you again. He’s at a loss for words, you must not have understood his statement he thinks to himself.

“Y/N, someone saw us on Saturday.” He says, looking at your face trying to get a read on it. “And now everyone at school knows about us, I mean everyone.” He tells you again, and again you just shrug and shake your head, laughing at him.

“Okay, and?” You say again. “Simon, is this what you're so worried about?” You ask him. 

“Aren't you worried? You agreed that no pda at school was for the best, that it would keep this from becoming the next big gossip, so yeah I’m worried about this, worried about you.” You don’t look worried at all, he glances at you for a second, you're smiling at him, it annoys him that you’re not taking this seriously.

“Simon I agreed to that for you, because you were so freaked out with everyone finding out about us and having me being put in the crossfires. But I really don’t care about that, so what if people at school don’t want to talk to me, they already don’t. I don’t want this to sound harsh but Simon being your friend, people at school already treated me differently, I don’t see how us being in a relationship is going to change how they treat me.” He feels like he’s been gut punched, he didn’t know that, and he hates himself for not noticing what seems so obvious now.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” He questions, you shrug back.

“Because I knew this is what would happen, you would worry like this about me. At first I really liked it when you did, it made me realize how much you cared about me, but I care about you too and I hate seeing you worry like this.” You tell him, he nods. “So I don’t care if everyone knows about us, I really don’t. If people want to talk about it let them, they don’t know us really. So don’t worry, okay? I can handle myself, and I know you can too.” You reassuring him makes him feel better, calms him down. Now pulling into school he can’t deny how nervous he feels as he turns the car off. 

He turns to you, and you look so sure, so ready to face the day, the complete opposite of how he feels. He thinks about how beautiful you look, how grateful he feels to have you here with him, and it comes out before he has the chance to stop it.

“You are everything to me.” He states, and he hates how corny it sounds immediately. He cringes to himself, but the look on your face is not of horror, or embarrassment. He can’t read the look on your face, you look mostly shocked, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, a light pink blush on your cheeks. 

Simon barely has time to blink before your lips meet his, it’s quick and lasts only seconds. Then you're out of the car, walking quickly towards school, he fumbles to get his seatbelt off, then jogging to catch up to you. He’s sure then that it will be hard at first, the looks and whispers, how they will treat you. But now that he knows you want this to work, the same way he wants this work, he feels much more calmer as you part ways to your first class.

[faultychips]

I <3 Catching MONSTERS and BEASTS!!

...Y'know, the more often you have to acknowledge something awkward, the more awkward it gets. So, I'm not gonna make a big deal about how long it's been since I last made a review again after this time. Finishing college and health complications got in my way for a little while, but I think I'm finally ready to get back in the saddle, and I'm very excited to write about games again, at whatever pace I need to take to do it. I've missed this. Let's get back into it already!

In my search for something that can measure up to my expectations and my nostalgia for Pokémon, I came across two games that stood out to me: Coromon and Cassette Beasts. Both looked like very fun games, but to know how good they really are, I had to try them out for myself. Let's start, then, with the game I finished first.

Coromon is, first and foremost, an extremely good "Pokémon Clone". It can be kind of exhausting to hear this said about any game that remotely includes monsters or creatures, but Coromon is very clearly trying to replicate the core features of the Pokémon games, and it does it very well. There are technically 124 Coromon to collect, but a few are variants on existing ones, so it's really closer to 110. Still an impressive number of original designs! I found myself thinking "Wow... this game's art is gorgeous!" over and over again; the game would not be nearly as engaging, as it indeed is, without the vivid backgrounds and beautifully animated sprites.

Overall, I had a lot of fun with Coromon. Everything that is fun about Pokémon is present and still fun in Coromon, and there are even a few improvements on the formula. For instance, capturing Coromon seems to have a much higher chance of success, making that whole process much less annoying while still not being a guarantee, and you'll be given plenty of free healing and capture items throughout the game that I encourage you to use freely (basically everything is available in shops by the end of the game, unlike items such as Max Revives in the older Pokémon games). There is also a welcome change to the "shiny" formula: there are instead "basic" Coromon, "potent" Coromon, and "perfect" Coromon, each with a different color palette and most importantly, better stats for rarer variants. This gives players an actually good reason to seek out "shiny" variants, and the midground Potent Coromon are relatively simple to find and you'll meet a nice amount over the course of your journey. (Perfect Coromon are... not so easy to find, but I'll get to that.) And most importantly the game is fun! Coromon Battling is unique in many ways--like how there are 13 types, but only 6 are available as Coromon Types, and the other 7 can only be used as Skills (attacks)--but it's just as entertaining as Pokémon battling and I enjoyed designing my team around the blend of new and familiar rules.

Of course, in a cruel bit of irony, Coromon falters in the same ways it triumphs: it is a lot like Pokémon, specifically the older generations 1 through 5. I hope you're the kind of person who likes grinding level-ups in RPGs, because you'll be doing it inevitably here. The story is also pretty forgettable, with mostly unremarkable characters... true to most Pokémon storylines. The "Perfect" Coromon replicate all the time-wasting problems of regular shiny Pokémon, typically taking multiple hours to catch just one, while adding on that the perfect ones are ideal for competitive play and therefore you're playing sub-optimally by not grinding out hours to get one; the double-edged sword of "a good reason" to get "shinies". Though honestly, for better or worse, you don't need to worry about competitive play because there aren't enough players online at any given moment to actually engage with the multiplayer features. There are no asynchronous options to cover for this, either. I found this a real shame, because it seems like the only way to get certain visual cosmetics (that the game goes to great lengths to make sure you know about) is through participation in multiplayer battles. It feels like you should be able to purchase them with actual real-life money; I wouldn't be willing to do that anyhow, but I couldn't even find a way to do that, so... Maybe on the mobile version you can. And finally, when Coromon's main story ends, you're basically done playing, same as many modern Pokémon games. There's an attempt at a battle tower equivalent of sorts, but I found it way too grindy for way too little rewards. It's hard to get excited about cosmetics and such when there's nobody else to show them to.

I think one thing that Coromon does that doesn't work very well that is unique to itself is that the player character has a good lot of dialogue, and oftentimes I found myself thinking "Wow... I wouldn't say that. That really takes me out of roleplaying as my character." Ultimately, it's a small 'problem', but I think it's an interesting example of why silent protagonists are so effective, because when the player character acts independently of the player, it can be distancing. ...Oh, and the game was made for mobile first and once you see that big glaring pause button at the top of your screen it's hard to unsee it, but ultimately I do like having the option to use just my mouse as a controller when playing. It would just be nice if you could toggle the mobile UI elements off.

Ultimately, Coromon was a game I enjoyed a lot, and nicely satisfied that Pokémon gen 4-5 2D itch I had, but while it makes a lot of the same good choices as Pokémon, it also carries over many of their flaws. I think it succeeds as being a generally equivalent experience, though notably lacking some of the perks that come with Pokémon's cultural popularity. As I was writing this review, they announced that they're in the process of making a sequel to Coromon, which will be titled Coromon: Rogue Planet. While I didn't feel like I necessarily needed more of the original game after the 50 hours I sunk into it, I think this is a great opportunity for the devs to learn from the creation of this first game and for the sequel to surpass its inspirations; I will be watching to see if it does.

Despite coming out about a year after Coromon, my Cassette Beasts review is actually much more overdue, because I started playing it in 2023 almost immediately after its release. I spent 30 hours in the game, did everything you need to do in order to beat the final boss...and then I dropped it in early May and never got back around to truly finishing it. After playing Coromon, I decided it was also time I put this other beast to rest. In all fairness it had been about a year and a half since my last playthrough, so I started a completely new file from the beginning to make sure I was refreshed on the full Cassette Beasts experience.

Cassette Beasts, like Coromon, has a really phenomenal amount of work put into its artwork. Every single monster is fully and energetically animated, with attacking, hurt, and sleeping animations for all 129 monsters (in the base game). There are also full dialogue sprites with a range of expressions for every remotely important NPC in the game, and it makes each bit of interaction feel more significant and engaging. There are some caveats to the visuals which I'll elaborate more near the end, but overall, the effort on display is incredible and all the 2D artwork looks great. The monster designs in particular manage to be unique in ways I really appreciate; it's really easy for mon-games to fall into the trap of just making most of their catalogue "just a real-life animal but... red, or maybe blue" and I feel like Cassette Beasts manages to avoid that trap and is consistently creative with their real-life inspirations.

One of the first things you might notice about Cassette Beasts is that all of its battles are in "Double" format; i.e. you control two different characters at once, facing one or two enemy characters; usually fighting 2-on-2. Those were always my favorite in the Pokémon games, and having an entire game of it does not disappoint. I also really like how much there is to the combat system; the way different types interact with each other is complex without being too hard to remember. Whenever you encounter a new mechanic you haven't seen before, like status effects such as Poisoned or Burned, a tutorial tip will show up to explain how the specific mechanic works, which helps a lot to evenly introduce the player to everything as it becomes relevant. In summary, the battling system is designed well and very fun to play around with.

One of the other things you might note about Cassette Beasts is that it boasts a "fusion" mechanic, something rather coveted in Pokemon spaces (so much so that there is a volunteer-driven fangame dedicated to the concept), making it a perfectly understandable feature of a game trying to go above and beyond the existing fusion-related ideas Pokemon has to offer. Unfortunately, while this idea is relatively well-implemented in gameplay, it wasn't anything very interesting either--every possible combination of monsters are fuse-able, and every fusion has a custom animated sprite, which is a jaw-dropping amount of work, but because of the huge amount of them these fusions tend to be very simple blob-looking combinations, often with "copy-pasted" elements. Shortcuts like these are extremely understandable given the workload, but aren't very compelling to look at. Since textually these "fusions" occur when the player character and a given NPC have a strong bond, maybe taking the time to design a single complex, unique fusion for each NPC instead of every single actual combination--quality over quantity--may have been a better choice.

The pacing...let's talk about it. The game doesn't waste any time hitting you with its complete premise and then throwing you out into the open world within the first hour. This feels pretty breakneck, but I suppose I appreciate that it seems to be trying not to waste your time...though I think a game should ideally make you enjoy even the starting tutorial-y parts of the game. Unfortunately, the game never really stops feeling breakneck, since it is an open world game with quests that you can technically complete at any time. Pretty much the whole map is accessible to you immediately, gatekept only by obtainable abilities scattered throughout that have no hard level or progression barrier. The game then becomes a series of frantic grocery check-listing: run back and forth from one destination to another, fast-travel repeatedly because it's the most cost-efficient option for healing, snap up every new objective the game puts in front of you...wander aimlessly until an NPC hands you another quest or hint about something you should probably be doing right now. This formula is what actually caused me to drop off of Cassette Beasts for so long back in 2023; once you reach the endgame, the quests dry out almost completely, and I just... ran out of momentum. Not to mention, that's around the time the game will start increasing your chance of finding bootlegs- the "shinies" of this particular title, which have a random typing and better moves than the average beast. My last hours on that save file were spent trawling the world map for these random bootleg encounters under some vague pretense of preparing for the final boss, before I realized how pointless it would be to raise a monster from scratch when I already have a fleshed-out team from the previous 25 hours of playing...and then I had no willpower left to cross the finish line, so I dropped it and moved on. On my more recent attempt, I was able to mostly ignore the bootlegs (still compulsively catching every one I found of course -- maybe one day shiny Pokémon just won't be a thing in these games and I can be free) and got all the way to the final boss and got to see the ending, which I enjoyed and wish I had just gone ahead and seen in 2023, but… it still felt like it was hard to really sit still and savor the world of Cassette Beasts; there's always something I ought to be getting over with instead. It could honestly sometimes be more of a nauseating chore than a thing I wanted to do.

...Actually, it took me two play sessions and a total of 50 hours to realize this, but I think the game actually made me motion sick for a majority of the time I was playing it. A previous version of this review was a bit more harsh (as harsh as I'm comfortable being, anyway) but I realized after looking it up and seeing some other reports of the same issue that it's likely more a fault of the way the game's lights and camera are functioning than anything else it features. I almost never get sick playing video games, so I'm honestly not exactly sure why it was happening, but I suspect it's something about the 3D backgrounds with 2D sprites, as well as the ways the camera shakes and sometimes swerves quickly in 90 degree increments. I feel like the game would have looked nicer (and been less nauseating) if the world map was in 2D with a stricter player movement limit, with less room for janky collision and puzzle malfunctioning, but I also understand that would have likely been much harder to implement. The music is a small part of this, but I also feel like the addition of vocals to existing instrumental tracks in certain areas and conditions made me get tired of hearing said tracks over and over very quickly; more songs to rotate through may have helped this, but I feel like the vocals were best isolated to the fusion battles, and even those ones start to get repetitive eventually.

Finally, I want to wrap up by talking about the story, because I feel like Cassette Beasts has a great story with an interesting cast of characters, but it's also very brief in total, and it often pulls its punches when it feels like there's something interesting about to take place. For example, one of the NPCs you can fight alongside in battles--I'll call these “companions”--is an ex-member of a cult that still actively occupies the island you're stranded on. Not only that, but she was essentially a high-ranking member with a good degree of participation and control over the cult’s activities; sounds serious and complicated. But dig deeper and you come to realize that the cult is little more than a paparazzi club for a guy who intentionally resembles a talk show personality, and the only real negative impact they have on themselves and others is the fact they hoard a small bit of land far away from anybody else, and are generally antisocial. Your companion will still act like she can never be forgiven for her involvement, to which your character will have two options of response that both say "it's okay, you're not a bad person"... which is true, because it seems like she never did anything of particular consequence. I don't think any of Cassette Beasts has to be gritty or serious or troubling; my favorite companion quest is the one where an artist's character from middle school has come to life and wants his validation, which is quite silly and fun, while also having real emotion to it. But it feels like sometimes the game dips it's toes into more serious topics with purpose--cults and depression/suicidal ideation being the standouts from the companion questlines--but then quickly retreats or covers itself with jokes before it can really make a proper impact, and I find that disappointing. (I do wonder if maybe these companions have their more potentially "undesirable" edges sanded off because 5 out of 6 of them are romanceable.) But aside from the companions, I really enjoyed the main storyline of the game, and the different "Archangels" you'll meet were the highlights of my visual and gameplay experience. The ending was satisfying and, in my opinion, nice and sappy in the best ways. I love a good story about alternate worlds and strange creatures and people rising to overcome any challenge. I really enjoyed the time spent exploring that with Cassette Beasts; my main criticism is that a lot of the rest of the game feels like a winding distraction away from this solid core conceit. Maybe in a more concise game a playthrough would take a nice 10 hours rather than 20...or maybe I would play longer instead in a game that makes you feel better about taking it slow.

Despite the criticisms I've had in this review, it is truly amazing to see the work small independent teams are doing nowadays, making titles that rival triple-A studio efforts. Especially when it comes to Pokemon, which has found itself producing increasingly unimpressive games over recent years, but also in general, as big game companies across the board rush to get messy products out the door, there's a great opportunity for indie devs to rise to fill the gaps of quality these studios have left empty. It is no small feat to do, but Coromon and Cassette Beasts shoot for the moon anyway, and I think they stick the landing quite well in their own rights. My criticisms are made partly in the hopes that they will be useful feedback for whoever comes along looking to make their own Pokemon-inspired title, be it these studios in sequels, or a newcomer to the game. These two games are fine candidates for someone looking to have a new, fresh experience with the classic monster-catching formula they enjoy; if either interest you, check them out below!

Coromon is available for $19.99 on: Steam, GOG, Nintendo Switch; $4.99 on App Store , Google Play

Cassette Beasts is available for $19.99 on: Steam , Nintendo Switch, Xbox / Xbox Game Pass

[indignantlemur]

I was wondering if you had any advice for beginners writing a long fanfic?

Thank you.

Hello! I actually do have some advice, though of course I must stress that what works for me is not necessarily what will work for others.

I'll break this down into two categories - general and specific.

🖊️GENERAL WRITING ADVICE:

🌟FIRST: Find a process that works for you to stay on track.

Some people find making a diagram or a mind-map of ideas and plotlines helps them stay on track. Some people make a bullet-point list of what they need to accomplish in each chapter. Some don't even bother making a list at all, and write on the fly.

Personally, I've found that making an outline helps me immensely. I can flesh out the outlined points as I need to, throwing in possible bits of dialogue or descriptions that come to me when I think about a scene I've planned, and I can move each plot point around as needed. Not only does this keep me organized, but if I need to take a break from writing, I'm not left floundering when I come back to it. I can pick up the threads right away, because I know exactly how and where I left them and what they're meant to tie into. I keep all of my plot notes on a separate document that I can switch over to (or keep open on a second screen, or even just open on my phone, really) and I reference it constantly.

I do this for shorter stories as well as longer ones, and the key to make this approach work is understanding that the plot points and tidbits I have prepared are guidelines. Only the bare bones are set in stone, and even then I give myself as much flexibility as possible. Sometimes, the scene develops in such a way that I can't include the dialogue or descriptions I'd hoped to because now it doesn't make sense - and that's fine. I save the defunct bits, cut and paste it to a junk drawer document where I put all my missing and cut scenes, and see if I can reuse them in the future. No writing is a wasted effort.

🌟SECOND: Get a second pair of eyes on your work.

Find a beta-reader, or a very good friend who isn't afraid to tell you when something needs work. Ideally, both. Beta-readers are worth their weight in gold twice over (I love you @emilie786!) and will help you with the grammar and the flow of the scene, often catching mistakes you miss. Some beta-readers only want to proof-read, and some want to be more involved in your writing process - clear communication about goals and expectations is key!

Likewise, a writer-friend who's willing to look at your work while it's still rough and give you feedback on it (becoming your alpha audience, as it were) is an amazingly helpful person. They can help you by suggesting different takes on a scene, or alternate phrasing when your writing feels a bit awkward in places, or even workaround for plot problems and any difficulties you run into. I frequently chat with @the-lady-general about our different writing projects, and it's been immensely helpful for both of us.

🌟THIRD: Be prepared to kill your darlings.

So, you've written a thing. You worked hard on it, poured your heart and soul into it, and you love it to pieces. Of course you do! Only... your beta-reader had torn a scene or a character to shreds, however kindly, and now you have to cope with rewriting it.

A kneejerk response a lot of new writers have to this is to get defensive and upset - I've been guilty of this myself, in the distant past when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. I'll tell you now what someone should have told me then: sometimes, a person has to be cruel to be kind. A beta-reader or a friend telling you a scene needs work is a gift compared to your story being panned by negative reviews after the fact, especially if you are the sort to put a lot of emotional value on your reviews (as many of us do).

When this happens, because it inevitably will, listen.

Step back, take a day or two to reset your brain if you need to, and then review what your beta-reader told you. Look at it objectively, without emotion. If you cannot, bring in a friend or mentor who can help you do so. Go over what's been said, the chief complaints and concerns, and open up a new document. Copy the scene. Paste it over. Rewrite the scene in the new document, taking all of the advice given to you into account. Once you're done, take a break. Make a cup of tea. Grab a snack. Go for a walk, even. When you're done, come back and read both the original and rewritten scenes.

You may very well find that your writing has benefited from the exercise, if nothing else, but I suspect you will find you like the rewrite a little better.

🌟FOURTH: Writing tutorials and guides are goldmines.

If you're struggling with writing a scene, or even if you just think it doesn't flow the way you want, look at what other writers who can write these scenes suggest. I struggle with action scenes, personally, and I've been referencing a lot of guides for Hoarfrost (which is still in the works but getting closer to completion!) to shore up those weak points in my writing.

Heck, I spent a literal week reading nothing but smut guides and writing tutorials, learning everything from phrasing to atmosphere-building, before I felt brave enough to try writing TSKW, never mind actually posting chapter 44 of Emigre. My ads haven't been the same since. The VPN did nothing.

Of course, a thesaurus is a valuable tool as a writer, but learning how to stitch your words together to create a scene is more than just knowing twelve different synonyms for the word "said." To that end, I would say that there is absolutely nothing shameful about taking inspiration from other writers and published authors, or from guides and tutorials. So long as you're not copying another's work or borrowing their ideas without permission, of course.

And, finally,

🌟FIFTH: Don't be afraid of writing badly.

I started writing when I was 8 - silly, nonsensical things with no particular plot or plan. Charming, but terrible. I got into fanfiction at 12, and the stuff I wrote was beyond cringe-inducing. Mary Sues, flat descriptions with no life to them, using too much emotion or too little, unrealistic reactions and irrational decisions from every character unfortunate enough to be involved - you name it, I wrote it.

All of this is a perfectly normal part of writing, even if I'd rather walk into the sea with a canon ball lovingly bundled in my arms rather than let any of it see the light of day ever again.

Through these horrible, absolutely godawful first steps into the world of writing, I grew. I got negative reviews, and supportive ones. I took breaks and tried again later. I wrote and rewrote. I erased entire documents and started from scratch more times than I can count (which I kind of regret, hence my advice to make a junk drawer document). I spent weeks, months, even years using my maladaptive daydreaming to hone scenes, refine characterizations, and tweak plot ideas. I have stories and worlds in my head that have been percolating for a literal decade or more, and they still don't feel ready to put onto paper yet - but if I don't start despite that, they never will be.

So don't be afraid of writing badly, and certainly don't let that fear stop you from writing at all. After all, churning out a rough, unrefined first draft is the first and most important step to learning how to write well.

✒️SPECIFIC WRITING ADVICE

The first, best piece of specific advice I ever got when starting out was this:

🌟Describe the scene as if you were describing it to a blind person.

(I always took this advice to mean someone who had recently lost their sight, rather than someone who would have no shared frame of reference for visual descriptions, but you're quite welcome to interpret it differently.)

The colours and shapes we readily think of when it comes to describing a scene are important, but what about texture? Scent? Taste? Scent in particular is hugely important to people because it's directly linked to our memories, but sound and touch are also very important for setting a scene. By excluding those details, you are robbing the audience of layers of immersion.

Think about the sights and scents and sounds around you as you go about your day. How would you describe them? The smell of coffee from across the room - is it earthy, bitter, burnt? Is Karen from accounting eating fish tacos again, despite multiple complaints, and now the cloying, oily aroma of microwaved fish has saturated the entire office? What about the warmth of sunlight streaming through a nearby window against your arm, the way the light catches on the hard edges of the furniture and the highlights in a woman's hair. What about the sound of your shoes against the floor as you walk, the click of heels and the shuffle and squeak of sneakers? Think about how you would describe what you're wearing, beyond bare facts. The softness of the fabric, the sturdiness of the construction, the weight of the material - how would you put them into words?

Spend time actively paying attention to the world around you, to conversations and scenery and people, and ask yourself: how would I write this?

The second piece of advice may seem contradictory, given the first, but it's worth hearing anyway:

🌟Sometimes less is more.

Descriptions and explanations are an important part of story-telling, enhancing the scene and building the world around it, but there's a time and a place. We don't need to know every single descriptive detail about the main character in the first paragraph, or even the first chapter. We don't need to know the entire history of the new alien species the moment we meet them, or even for years after the first encounter. We don't need to wade through ten pages describing how strange and bizarre the alien trees are, nor do we need three different descriptions of the shape of each leaf on every branch.

Learn to space out your expositions and descriptions. Treat them like sprinkles - they look better when they're spread out over the whole cake, rather than clumped in one spot.

My third bit of general advice is this:

🌟Don't rush it.

It's really, really tempting to rush towards that one amazing scene you have planned out in your head - the one with the big emotional impact, the plot twist, the big scene - but don't! Hold off! We, the readers, don't know about all the details that lead up to that scene. We don't know about the layers of meaning and all the build up that leads to that great pay-off. Without that, we simply won't get it. We won't understand what you're trying to convey, or why it's such a big deal.

Take the time to build up the story, to show us how your characters learn and adapt and grow with each challenge. That journey is important. It might feel tedious, like a slog you have to get through to get from Point A to Point B, but we need it! We need those scenes, those moments, in order to stand where you want us to stand when the big scene begins, to know what we need to know and feel what you want us to feel as we watch it happen.

And finally, my fourth and final bit of specific advice:

🌟Wish fulfillment is fun, but realism is what draws us in.

We have all made Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and every possible permutation of them, even if we never quite put pen to paper with them. Many folks who get into writing start by imagining a character who serves as a kind of wish fulfillment or power fantasy put into writing. It's perfectly normal - but the thing to remember is that those characters are a bit... bland. They don't struggle. They don't fail. They don't lose. Or if they do, it's not in a meaningful way. That kind of character is so divorced from reality that it breaks the readers' suspension of disbelief.

Everyone alive has a combination of talents and failings, weaknesses and strengths, insecurities and weird quirks. That's part of the Human experience. A perfect, flawless character defies that experience, and thus we cannot relate to them. The character becomes flat and uninspiring to the audience, and once that happens all that remains is apathy. When there are no stakes, there is no investment. Why should we care about a character who will never fail against even the most overwhelming odds? We already know the ending, because the character cannot lose.

So I urge you to really look at your characters. Some folks recommend taking "Mary Sue Litmus Tests" and such to get a rough idea of how your characters might be received, and those are certainly useful tools - but they are not the only tools at your disposal. Read constantly. Watch films and documentaries alike. Try out new show and book genres, even the ones you don't think you'll like. Really look at the people around you, at how they act versus what they do, and how their unique combination of personality traits and flaws coalesce into a perfectly ordinary person. Inspiration is literally everywhere around you, if you look for it.

Now, everyone creates characters differently. Some folks start with an idea, or a core concept, and build the character around that. Others make characters more procedurally (wherein those "20+ questions about your OC" posts are actually quite useful), and some even use generators to slap a bunch of traits together to see what sticks. Some characters seem to spring fully formed from the ground one day, and others can take years of tinkering to really come into being.

Look for inspiration everywhere, and you'll eventually find a way that works best for your writing.

...I know, I know. You asked for advice and I wrote you a book. If you've made it this far, kudos. Writing can be a lot of work, but never let it be anything other than a labor of love.

[lost-in-lamentation]

I'm really sorry if this isn't something usually written or slightly difficult to write, but I was thinking about how the brothers or any of the others would react to a MC who always wears a mask ? Like, they only ever take it off when their by themself and even then they still feel odd without it. So their immediate instinct when going out is to grab their mask !

It can be for any reason ! Body dysmorphia or just general shyness, anything

I deal with this myself, and I often get a lot of weird looks for wearing it since covid is less common now. I just have one preference !

-The MC needing a lot of reassurance and comfort before taking it off [ and even then or after a bit, they need to put it back on ]

To them it may feel like protection and security, so they rely on it a lot !

I'm really sorry if this is too long or hard to read, I'm not used to making requests (╥﹏╥)

a/n: hi anon! i totally get where you're coming from, you're not alone here. and no need for sorry! i'm glad you were so specific with the request, and i hope you find some comfort here! (´ω｀)

see end for more notes.

content: asmodeus and satan are curious as to why you never go out without your face mask. the reasons differ for each brother, please read the warnings before proceeding.

warnings: extreme body dysmorphia, panic attacks (asmodeus); shyness, appearance insecurity (satan).

comfort. satan, asmodeus x gen!reader (you/your). separate.

═  ˎˊ˗

satan.

for satan to be called confused was an understatement. he was beyond baffled that every time you agreed to an outing with him, you grabbed a mask each time from the box that sat atop your desk. if he was going to be honest, he never understood why you refused to go anywhere without one. after a long period of observation, satan realised the only places he saw you without a mask on was in your own room, or at the dining table. the very idea that you hid yourself away sparked his interest, which in return lead to a new period of research. much to his dismay, personal reasons would never show themselves in textbooks. instead, he decided to tackle the source (you) instead.

satan found you in the library, of course, mask on, flipping through the notes you had made during class earlier in the day. with a nod, he slid into the seat across from you, setting his novel down and propping his chin up against his palm. the way your eyes widened slightly didn't go unnoticed by him. neither did the way you pinched your mask and brought it higher up the bridge of your nose. behind the covering, you grimaced to yourself before clearing your throat awkwardly.

"is something the matter?" you asked softly, placing your notes onto the desk.

satan tapped his index finger just underneath his jawline. "why do you wear it everywhere?"

"... come again?"

"the mask," he said plainly. "don't you get tired of wearing it everywhere? i've read that some humans even complain because it gets hard to breathe."

you made a quiet sound of acknowledgement. "i just like wearing it."

"you're not a very good liar, MC."

a defeated sigh escaped past your lips. "promise not to tell?" after a nod from the demon, you steeled yourself to explain. "it's kind of dumb, honestly. i just get really shy when i don't have it on." at your words, satan sat himself upright, keeping his gaze trained on yours. "having it on makes it easier to talk to everyone. i'm not super good-looking, you know? so... i feel a bit more confident when i'm wearing it."

satan once again found himself far beyond confused. baffled, yes. perhaps, even dumbfounded might actually be the word he was looking for in this situation. his mouth parted slightly, and his hand slowly reached out to you, stopping at the side of your face. "you can practice talking without it on with me," he spoke in a tone that he reserved solely for you. "may i?"

you blinked at him rapidly, eyes darting around the room before landing on his. swallowing nervously, you finally nodded, your shoulders tensing when satan unhooked the mask from behind your ear. when it fell away from your face, you snapped your head to the side, feeling the heat run up your cheeks and turn into a blush. "would you look at that," satan purred.

"what?"

"you're actually very attractive."

"satan! you can't just say that!" your face felt like it was on fire. flustered, you scrambled to loop the mask around your ear once more, but the blush on your cheeks had already spread down to your neck. there was a beat of silence, and then a cough from you as you shifted in your seat to face anywhere but satan. "but, if you're willing," you whispered, shooting him a a smile from behind the mask, "i'd like to take you up on that offer."

knowledge was a wonderful thing. satan could never get enough of it. but when compared to the feeling he got when you relied on him, satan would rank knowledge as second. if satan could eventually have you get comfortable enough to go around without the mask, he'd see more of that smile he's craved since the first time he saw it.

═  ˎˊ˗

asmodeus.

"MC!!" the voice echoed throughout the hallways directly into the classroom you were studying in. you turned your head towards the doorway to see the fifth born practically skip inside, coming to a stop in front of your seat. "i didn't get to show you the new lip tint i got this morning!"

you released a sigh, letting your pen fall from your fingers. "asmo, can this wait until we get home?"

"nonsense! it's the best time of day to try it out. come on!" you couldn't help thinking that all you wanted was to be left alone to do your homework, but all your thoughts came to a halt when asmodeus broke your one rule. within seconds, your mask had come off and was only hanging off one ear. unwillingly, you shrieked and pushed yourself away from the demon, his words falling on deaf ears as you fumbled to put your mask back on. with tears in your eyes, you burst out of the classroom, all your belongings forgotten as you tried to return to your only safe space; your room.

as you returned to your room, the fear and disgust overtook you all at once. you slammed your door with a cry, fingers digging into your scalp as your back collided against the wall. in the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of your reflection. the hand mirror that had been so carefully placed on your desk showed you the mess that you were. disheveled and erratic, you stared at yourself, the mask doing nothing to hide what you were. in a daze, you grabbed it from the desk and threw it against the wall, watching as it shattered into pieces. you felt your knees give out from underneath soon after, and you crashed to floor in a heap. it felt like hours had passed before a hand tentatively came to rub your back soothingly.

you scrambled away from the touch, chest heaving as you tried to clear your vision. when you did, you saw the fifth born again, this time wearing a regretful expression. "MC, it's me. i..." his voice trailed away as he looked at you. "i cleaned up the broken mirror for you," he whispered. "and... i'm sorry."

your hands trembled at your sides, balled tightly into fists. "sorry for what?" the question sounded more like an interrogation, but you couldn't be bothered to watch your tone.

asmodeus looked at you sadly, his expression crestfallen. "i knew you didn't like having your mask off, but... i never expected you to freak out like that either."

"oh, so you're just calling me a freak now?!"

"no- that's not what i mean!" he inhaled sharply, internally scolding himself for not being the best with words. "let me rephrase," asmodeus began softly, his thumbs twiddling nervously. "i'm sorry for taking your mask off. i didn't know that it would affect you that much."

at the sight you of starting to relax, asmodeus felt the tension in his shoulders begin to slip away. you glanced at where the shards of the mirror should have been. "... i see myself in the mirror, and i see something i don't want to be," you admitted. it took every effort for asmodeus to not interrupt with a shallow sounding comment. "i wear a mask so that i don't have to see myself. so that no one else has to see me."

carefully, asmodeus shuffled closer to you, settling himself a few feet away. "i have some experience with that," he confessed to you. relief bubbled inside his chest when he saw you turn to make eye contact with him. "becoming a demon wasn't easy," he continued on, a bitter look gracing his face. "but maybe it'll help me help you with this. what do you say?"

"i don't know if i'm ready for that." you replied hesitantly, staring at the floor instead of him now. "but when i am ready, will you still be willing to help me?"

the smile on his face managed to lift your mood too. "i'll always be ready to help you," he promised, holding a hand out with only his pinky extended. you mirrored his gesture from where you sat, curling your pinky around thin air. asmodeus wasn't sitting close by, but you could feel his sincerity from miles away.

a/n: i was gonna have three chars originally but.. i kinda liked how these two went and couldn't think of a good situation for the third. anon i hope this finds you well!

reblogs are really appreciated (´ω｀) ♡

[sugudoe]

Hello!! I've recently found your blog and I absolutely adore your writing and even have notifications on, hehe 🫶🏻 I'd like to request a match up, but of course only if you have the time to do it!

I'm 22 years old and I use she/her pronouns. I speak two languages (German+English), I have blond, medium length hair (it's dyed, my natural hair color is brown) which is wavy but I straighten it because I think it looks better. Sometimes, when I'm bored, I dye some colorful strands into it! (Like pink, or red, or purple.) I'm average in height, although on the higher side of the spectrum by being 5'7. I'm chubby, which I'm a insecure about, but I don't let that hold me back from dressing how I want, at least on most days. I usually wear baggy or loose clothes but on special occasions I wear form fitting clothes as well. I wear glasses, they're transparent and pink, and I absolutely love to do my make up! I'm very creative when it comes to it and it's often that I wear a lot of colors on my face, but not that it's too overbearing.

My personality type is ENFP 2w3 and I tend to get along with everyone, but more so with ambivert people since I sometimes have phases where I'm more introverted. I like people who are different from me since I like hearing a different perspective on things, so people who are too close to me in terms of personality are a no go. I also like mature people, so unnecessary fights or arguments can easily be avoided. I talk a lot and I joke around a lot too, so people tend to call me a social butterfly which I agree with. I need my downtime too, so it isn't too uncommon to find me sitting alone in my room, listening to music and playing video games at the end of the day.

I do have a few mental struggles and I do have a chronic illness as well (I don't wanna outright say what I have, but I have incredibly bad stomach aches from time to time, so bad that I even had to have a surgery because of it when I was 17.) All that is too say is that I can be a bit complicated at times, but I try my best to better myself.

My hobbies include: mainly playing video games (like stardew valley, animal crossing, generally more relaxing games), doing my make up, baking (when I'm stressed which is too often), and going out with my friends! I love running errands with my friends and spending time with them that way! I'm open to a lot of new things but I get extremely frustrated when I'm not immediately good at something, lol.

I'd like to be matched up with someone my age or older than me since that's my preference if that is alright! I hope this wasn't too much information 😭 I appreciate you and your work and thank you for taking your time to do these match ups!! 🩷

a/n: hiiiiiii, thank you for sending this, specially the many informations and the preference for your age or older. i had others in mind for you, being geto and hiromi. still, i think toji could do just fine with you, yay!

⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝘵𝘰𝘫𝘪 ៹ ༉‧₊🫕

toji, in all his powerful presence, goes inside a room with a permanent scowl on his face. you, sparkly white eyeshadow with smoke eyeliner, pink glasses and equally pink highlights, comes behind. bubbly and threatening aura mixing together to create something no one else would have thought, yet, anyone can see the care you both have for the other.

can’t you see? if you look closely to toji, there is glitter sprinkled on his cheekbones and nose button, as well as a blue strand of his hair. but mostly, he might have show to everyone a threatening face, but when he stares at you, there is a smile present on his lips and a shine in his eyes.

it’s something that had been lost for a long time, some could say.

your dressed to the extreme for this boring party shiu is throwing, black silk dress conturing your waist and hips, at first you might have had some doubts about it, still you didn’t changed it — never one to back down.

that’s one of the many things that made toji attracted to you, your insecurities does not define you. thank god for that, he thinks while admiring you doing your eyes. so pretty and so his, he might just not go the party and have you all to himself.

“you look pretty.” he compliments while trying to knit his tie. you finish the final touches before moving his way, pressing a peck to his lips and doing it for him. “thank you, doll.”

“anything for you.” raising on your feet, you kiss him again, with your hands you caress his face, moving away you see the shine in it, thanks to your dirty fingers and laugh. “you have glitter in you, let me grab the oil to remove.”

“nah, no need, let’s match.” he is so sexy, that you might have arrived late to the party.

toji is a simple guy, his clothes are either black or grey and sometimes a dark blue might be presented in his drawer. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like colors, if anyone where to ask him what’s his favorite, he would find you and pick the most vibrant one you are wearing. you’re his favorite everything, okay? in the presence of your room, if you ask, he will say is the color of your lips.

while first meeting, toji was instantly attracted to you, but he thought you would never give him a chance. that was, of course, until you let it slip how you are more inclined to romantic partners different than you, and hey! toji has the social life of a fucking worm with amnesia and you are a social butterfly, what could be more different than that?

a lot. a fucking lot!

he knew he had you right there, and you had been aware as well, so the dating started right away. toji and you don’t fight, he might not seem mature but he is strategic and pays attention to everything, so if something bothers you, he knows right away and change whatever it is quickly. you didn’t liked him gambling and he stopped before you could get even more annoyed.

your disagreements never reach the fighting stage if it comes from his side, but if comes from yours, you are more than happy to hear what is his complain and make it work. cheers to being non-toxic!

toji is very worrying of you. he likes to come home and see you happy, doing a random makeup or playing video games. he will sit on the bed while talking to you about both of your days, happy that you are recharging and having a you time. still, he goes extremely quiet and full on boyfriend mood when he comes home and you are baking. your pastries are divine, but something is wrong!

you will soon find yourself relaxing in a bathtub, using him as a personal pillow, caressing your back while letting you vent. if it is your medical condition, he will encourage you to go to a doctor, just for a checkup at least, if is mental, he will also beg for you to go to a professional, and also ends the night spoiling you by buying your favorite food. the next day he won’t work, instead toji rather be with you, learning how to play your games and having you doing his makeup.

─┈ ⭑ ° ⋆ FUN FACTS 𓂃ᰔ

🫕 ┊ dating toji means that you can wear whatever high heels, you’re still short to him.

🫕 ┊ toji is your biggest supporter, even if words of affirmation is not his thing, toji still helps you overcome this distress of not being good at everything at first. he basically points to himself as an example of hard work pays well!

🫕 ┊ toji has a different humor than most people, still, he laughs at your jokes and does the same with you. obviously, all in the presence of your house.

🫕 ┊ toji is a different man inside and outside your home, he loves you in all his forms, and everyone can see that!

🫕 ┊ his love language is acts of service and quality time.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

It's kind of sad to me how so many queer communities have their own cultures and symbolism that you can choose to connect with or not, but most aspec communities don't have a choice.

So many ace people I've met didn't even have a clue about the cake symbol or the dragons and all that. And aromantic symbolism/culture is even more ignored!! And I won't even name the poor apl and other tertiary attraction aspec culture/symbolism.

So many of us are so proud of our identities, but what about culture? The symbolism? We don't have those privileges.

I miss the time I found out I was ace and every time I saw a cake I would giggle and whisper to myself "look, it's like my identity!", I wanted to feel it back, and I also wanted other aspec people (both young acespec who just discovered themselves AND aspec who aren't (only) ace) to feel it too.

I don't know how to explain it, I was just thinking about it...

(Apologies for even bringing this up but) I feel like the so-called ace discourse* really did a number on our community, because one of the big things they did was shame ace and a-spec culture and symbols. It got very hard to post cute things like purple dragons and cake the same colours as the ace flag without someone showing up and yelling at you and accusing you of all kinds of things. It died down on Tumblr years ago, but I'm still seeing the effects.

I think one of the best things we can though is spread and share these things, share ace dragons, make jokes, teach people about community culture things like the asexual ring and aromantic ring. And of course we can always create more symbols, more cultural things, and often that happens from connecting as a community. Community building is something any of us can do if we want to.

All the best, Anon!

*I know that's not a good name for it since what it actually was was a large scale harassment campaign, and generally targeted the entire a-spec community, but not sure if there's an alternate recognizable name for it.

[merp-blerp]

A Gaylor Interpretation of "Seven" post TTPD

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

So my song interpretations are often just one of my takes on a single song. For "Seven", I think every reading I've seen works basically. The general interpretation of the story of two kids being friends and the gaylor interpretation of those kids being in love whether they realize it or not make sense to me and I love that story. However, I love challenging myself to see songs in multiple ways, even in ways I haven't seen anyone else see them. And I want to share this different take on "Seven" being about "Peter" (at least I think it's different, I don't think I've seen exactly what I'm about to say before, but idk).

"Please picture me // In the trees // I hit my peak at seven feet // In the swing // Over the creek // I was too scared to jump in // But I, I was high in the sky // With Pennsylvania under me // Are there still beautiful things?"

Most takes on this song seem to take this song as not being personal for Taylor, but as a story she created, but I want to play with the idea of it being at least a bit personal, even if it's a fictional take on reality.

The first clue that it could be about Taylor more directly is that she mentions Pennsylvania, where she was born.

I find it interesting that we don't know how old the narrator is in the story they tell. "Seven" refers to how high the narrator swings, not their age. In "Fresh Out the Slammer", Taylor mentions how she used to sit on children's swings with her lover wearing imaginary rings, their age during that time on the swing also not being determined. "Robin" also mentions swings. To me, Taylor seems to see the swings as the peak of childhood/childlike innocence. The swing story is told in the past tense, so the narrator's childlike innocence must be behind them as they're beginning to wonder "Are there still beautiful things?" like there were in their swing days. To me, this song has always felt like an adult recounting childhood memories as if they were young again, and in this reading, I think Adult Taylor is talking to her younger self, Peter.

"Sweet tea in the summer // Cross your heart, won't tell no other // And though I can't recall your face // I still got love for you"

The mention of drinking something in the summer and keeping a secret reminds me of Taylor's unreleased song "Me and Britney" from 2003, a song that could also be read as Taylor having a childhood crush on a friend thanks to the lines, "That boy she ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy // Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney." But the line that concerns us here is "Me and Britney used to sit on the front porch drinking lemonade // Talking 'bout things no one else was ever supposed to hear // In the summer shade." There are also parallels to another unreleased song "Mary Jo", which mentions "So many questions answered // When I spent that summer with Jo". And of course, there are ties to another unreleased song called "Sweet Tea and God's Graces", a similar song to "Mary Jo" about learning through young love, which also mentions sweet tea, tire swings, and summer. I could never know if Taylor actually had feelings for her friend Britany Maack, who "Me and Britany" is allegedly (?) about, or the nature of their relationship. But it appears that Taylor is taking elements from her childhood and incorporating them into this queer-coded song.

Summer, daylight, and the sun seem to represent the freedom of knowing your queer and the ability to be so for Taylor, reflected in so many songs like "Daylight", "BDILH", etc. So maybe it's being used almost like a code to say that she's had a queer experience of some kind.

Especially in the 90s and early 2000s, if a kid found out they were queer they wouldn't tell anyone out of fear of homophobia and/or wanting to process it themselves. So older Taylor recounts that her younger self would "Cross (her) heart, won't tell no other" after summer/a queer experience.

As you get older and grow into your face, you somewhat begin to forget what you looked like as a kid. I know I look at old photos of myself and realize I forgot details. Taylor can't recall her own face as a child from memory, as it's been a long time since she's been a child, but she still has love for her younger self.

"Your braids like a pattern // Love you to the moon and to Saturn // Passed down like folk songs // The love lasts so long"

I did an analysis for "BDILH", and in that I mentioned that braids could symbolize taking your free, loose hair, or queerness, and tucking it back in a braid, hiding the queerness. Her younger self was closeted, so she has "braids like a pattern".

"Love you to the moon and to Saturn" is a play on the phrase "Love you to the moon and back" which is used to illustrate just how much you love someone. So why to the moon and to Saturn specifically? Maybe Taylor is saying that she has so much care for her younger self that it goes to the moon and Saturn combined. Or maybe, since Taylor illustrates not feeling like she belongs on earth like a human in several other songs like "Down bad" and "IHIH", she's saying that she loves her younger self to the moon and Saturn because she's not on earth. She's different, so she lives on Saturn, a planet that humans can't theoretically live on like Mars. I feel like there could be more to find with this Saturn lyric, so if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

Folk songs can be passed down for decades or maybe more, sometimes the origins of them being unknown (i.e. "The House of the Rising Sun" which has no known author and has been performed by countless people, essentially belonging to everyone and no one). Very similar to folktales, fables, and folklore. Queer history continues to be spread for centuries, even when the origins are murky. Queer people have existed since time itself, so "the love lasts so long".

"And I've been meaning to tell you // I think your house is haunted // Your dad is always mad and that must be why"

Okay, so I don't want to asses this line for too long when connecting it to Taylor on a personal level if the dad is her actual father, as it feels a bit uncomfortable for me personally, but I do want to address the line. Taylor has written about fathers in non-positive lights before. Take "You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes" and "You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter" from "Mine", or "Leaving like a father" from "Betty". The unreleased 2002 song "Can I Go With You?" is a song about a father angrily leaving his home after a spat with his partner and his child asking to go with him. There was also the argument Taylor got into with her dad in Miss Americana and the email leak from December of last year. I personally take "Tolerate It" as potentially being about Taylor's father only tolerating her identity and how that frustrates Taylor, so this lyric could also be in reference to any frustration that Scott Swift could have towards something about young Taylor. But I of course don't know Taylor's personal situation with her parents and I'm not personally accusing Scott of being abusive when I have such little information.

Honestly, the "dad" could also be Scott B, which might connect the song to Taylor's early career. I think I prefer that idea because I'm able to think about it more.

The way this line is worded feels like A) a child who knows something is amiss, but interprets the source of the problem as something unlikely like a ghost or B) an adult explaining something painful to a child in a way that wouldn't hurt the child as bad as the hard facts. I'm going to go with B for this reading. Adult Taylor says to her younger self that her house is "haunted" to soften the blow of whatever the problem is and help her understand. Younger Taylor might understand the dangers of a haunted house better than whatever the complicated truth is. Or maybe younger Taylor does understand the reality and older Taylor says "haunted" like a code word the two of them can understand, but not quite the listener. Mentioning "haunted" reminds me of Speak Now and its song by that name, which would connect it back to "Mine" again. And if the dad is actually Scott B, that reminds me of the story about Taylor having to call TS3 Speak Now because calling it "Enchanted" like she wanted was seen as too childish by Big Machine, connecting to childhood and never growing up again. Come to think of it, even the braids remind me of Speak Now and the "Mean" MV. (So now I'm wondering if the "careless man" was Scott B all along—that'd be something to ponder...)

"And I think you should come live with // Me and we can be pirates // Then you won't have to cry // Or hide in the closet // And just like a folk song // Our love will be passed on"

Taylor compares her younger self to Peter Pan in her song "Peter". Pirates play a big role in Peter Pan, of course. This also gives the song another connection to Taylor personally, as Taylor describes her younger self as in the age of "pirate ships" in "The Best Day". In "Peter", Taylor laments that her younger self was supposed to "grow up" and then "come find (her)", meaning her younger closeted self was supposed to finally grow out of the closet that hurts her so and be whole with her adult self. But, as stated in "The Archer" and "BDILH", Taylor never grew up, even when she wanted to, because of unforeseen circumstances like the master heist keeping her trapped. Here, Taylor asks a similar question, imploring her younger self to live with her so they can play and be whole. Pirates in real life could have gay partnerships with each other called "matelotage", so playing pirates might be like coming out. Then her younger self won't have to cry over who she is anymore. She won't have to hide in the closet. Then their unique love can continue to be passed on through history and to others.

"Please picture me // In the weeds // Before I learned civility // I used to scream ferociously // Any time I wanted // I, I"

I already talked about this line somewhat extensively in my "BDILH" analysis, so I'll keep an exact assessment of this specific line brief, but throughout this whole song, Taylor pleads to the listener to picture her younger, rather than her now, as she's been describing her younger self this whole time. As she says in the speech during "Daylight", Taylor wants to be defined by the things that she loves, not the things she's afraid of. The Lover coming out attempt reflected that, as there was barely any vitriol towards the industry portrayed in the album, compared to TTPD. If she came out then it would've been defined by her love, not the industry's abuse. Now she has a lot of anger and fear in her life, so she wants to be pictured before the closeting took its toll. Younger Taylor got to "scream ferociously" whenever she wanted, or be queer and "loud", but then she decided to take on her dreams of being a singer, a public figure, so she had to write her songs straight enough to pass as such and take on bearding, or learn "civility". And if playing pirates is like being out, it might require you to "scream ferociously".

The "I, I" being followed by nothing specific to it, but "Cross my heart, won't tell no other", makes me feel like something's being omitted. It's as if she wants to say more about being loud when she was younger, but then stops herself.

"Sweet tea in the summer // Cross my heart, won't tell no other // And though I can't recall your face // I still got love for you // Pack your dolls and a sweater // We'll move to India forever // Passed down like folk songs // Our love lasts so long"

Earlier in the song, Taylor described her younger self as not telling anyone about her queerness, but now she's crossing her own heart the same way. She never grew up. She's been left with no choice but to stay in the closet forever. But Taylor still sings of the summer, so her queerness isn't gone.

She tells her younger self to join her again, to pack and move to India with her. My best guess as to why India specifically is that India is far away. It was never mentioned in her music before and never again so far. It's not like New York, London, or even Pennsylvania, places where people would expect to find her thanks to her music and track record of frequenting those places. India is similar to Florida in her music, a place to escape from invasive eyes and troubles. It's like a more achievable version of the "better planet" from "IHIH".

And their love still lasts so long.

Thanks for reading!