#this is not the normal programming but yall are dealing with it

[angel-on-parole]

Good morning bunny's asleep and she's the only one I've been able to ramble to about this shit so not only are YOU guys getting it you're also getting PRETEXT so BUCKLE THE FUCK UP BUTTERCUPS YOURE GONNA HEAR ABOUT MY VTM CHARACTERS AND I AM GOING TO BE UNABASHEDLY CRINGE ON MAIN

Okay so bunny and I both are storytellers for vtm right but sometimes we aren't up for several hours of talk so we have sets we write instead. Very flexible, very mindful

Her setting is in modern DC, mine is in 80s Vegas because I thought that'd be fun

So my second vtm character I ever made is named Charlemagne Matthews. Trans man who got turned during the 40s in Europe. He'd been on the run after burning down the church he was raised by a single mother in with everyone (except his mother) inside because of several reasons. He also sees/talks to/worships this angel he experiences the presence of, Vasariah (who is also an angel I work with irl but I digress). He runs a cult to this angel, like a pretty prolific one. Recognized as a minor religion under the law. Splinters of it run along the east coast, but the main hub of it is in DC at a little Chapel. There's several things that happened to Charlemagne in his life but I'd be here for six more hours going over that

And then we have Theordore Jackson, who I had not originally set out to have be Charlemagne's great uncle but things lined up too perfectly to not do it. He was conceived of in my brain in the middle of me watching AHS Asylum for the 27944725th time (don't @ me) and I was like. What if Malkavian who was caught by the inquisition. What if Malkavian who was not only caught by the inquisition... but was convinced he could see demons in human flesh. But this time he lays eyes on something he'd never seen before: an ANGEL in human flesh (she is also a nun because. Why not). Also what if it was Jack the Ripper who ran off to Canada and then wandered his ass to Vegas

For those unfamiliar: the inquisition is basically international organization that hunts down the supernatural for extermination. Sometimes may keep subjects for study (like Teddy in his confinement)

But what is very funny is

Charlemagne managed to get a Cuckoo (aka an agent who infiltrates groups such as Charlie's cult) to leave the inquisition under his care and Teddy managed to swipe his nun whose mother was A RATHER HIGH RANKING INQUISITION MEMBER in order to turn her (freeing her immortal spirit of mortal bonds was his way of thinking) and both of these pairs may as well be married (in Charlie's case they ARE married and THIS AGENT LEFT HER FELLOW AGENT HUSBAND FOR THIS WEIRD VAMPIRE CULT LEADER) and like I know part of it is bunny writing with me and she loves me but ALSO LIKE

THE KINDA RIZZ THESE TWO HAVE IS HILARIOUS THEY DIDNT EVEN LIKE BREAK THESE GIRLS (Teddy did use a small bit of Dominate and Presence here and there but that was mostly to get her to help him escape confinement before he turned and took her)

THESE GIRLS REALLY JUST LOOKED AT THESE TWO AND WENT "YEAH THATS THE MAN I WANT"

I also just really like these two because I like writing weird religious men (as above, Charlie's a cult leader and Teddy is raised and possibly? Practicing catholic)

[chaifootsteps]

I have a friend who enjoys Hazbin (and it’s not a big deal b/c when ur normal about this stuff you can disagree about media w/i ur friend and it’s not the end of world) but doesn’t follow any of the fandom stuff too closely. We were taking about the show and recent dramas, and I told them about the Valentino Valentines Day Merch (which honestly, I don’t find to be like. A moral failing, just a very weird choice given the show)

My friend was very incredulous and essentially like “That is a wild choice for Valentine’s Day omg”

Saying this mostly to just hand out some sweet sanity and let yall know that there ARE fans who don’t make Hazbin their whole identity, and are also like “well that’s really bizarre and not a marketing decision I would’ve made”

(Also if u hate the merch and think it’s gross and never should’ve been made, you’re valid. And if you love Valentino as a character you’re also valid. They way any and all of us interact with stuff like this is extremely varied, please respect the opinions of all sexual assault survivors, even if you disagree with them)

Your friend sounds super cool, and like someone who needs to be in some kind of sorely needed program meant to bolster their dying species.

[not-goldy]

it is so funny to see how much you guys switch up when it's convenient for you all. its been months of gloating about jikook being together 24/7 but then news came out of jk and jimin having different jobs then suddenly its of course they have different jobs they dont have to be eachothers shadow then its possible that they do not even dorm together and then jimin is going to do a very hard training seemingly without his buddy for support and then its what do you want jungkook to do hold his hand and you all swear you are not like taekookers. are they up eachothers ass like you all swore up and down they would be or not? its clear the buddy system isnt what you all thought it was stop acting like youre unbothered

The number of stupid people we encounter out here is frankly starting to piss me off. I demand you get smart immediately. I command you to be intelligent. It's my right to deal with smart people and smart people only. I can't deal with yalls low IQ bitch I'm neurodivergent. Set me free.

We will always gloat about jikook being together 24/7 BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS TOGETHER 24/7

IT'S JIKOOK! 24/7 IS THEIR WHOLE SHTICK

We don't need them to enlist together to gloat at all cos we've been gloating since eons THAT JIKOOK ARE TOGETHER 24/7 CRAWLING UNDER TABLES HIDING IN EACH OTHERS HOTEL ROOMS SNEAKING INTO EACHOTHER'S BEDROOMS

IT'S THE WHOLE PREMISE OF OUR SHIP BITCH WHAT ARW YOU TALKING ABOUT

THEY ARE THE SUN AND MOON THE BLACK AND WHITE COUPLE TWO PEAS IN A POD BUSAN BROTHERS IT KOREAN BOYS

They enlisted via buddy program which is a system designed to keep them closer than they would have been if they enlisted through the normal process -

If what you're saying is true, pray tell what was the whole point of them going through the trouble to enlist via the buddy program????

I'm waiting for your most genius answer and if it's not satisfactory I'll find you and beat you I SWEAR TO GOD

[hoziersrealhusband]

january 29th, 2025

yoo hey... oopsies!

as we all know what the first week of classes is infamously called silly week. IT WASNT SILLY. I WASNT LAUGHING. lets start this post with a recap of all of my classes.

be 305:

this is an insanely easy class. we have daily reading paired usually with videos but they are easy reads. instead of having any midterms or exams we have daily quizzes kind of as a "test" of our knowledge along the course of the class, and its quite literally just reading comprehension. this quizzes are 70% of my grade though but so insanely easy. also the other 30% is literally just attendance, we have games and surveys that we do through a program that is called moblab that we will get an A on literally as long as we show up

entr 410:

it was a running bit ive heard that business students have coloring sheets due at 11:59pm but didnt think it was true until i had to draw something for this class. this class will def not be as easy as my other business minor class but this professor is amazing. she has a really great rate my professor score for classes she taught on entrepreneurship, the only bad scores being from bus 150 which is basically just people saying she made them watch too many videos. she has a really good way for doing the entr class though and i think ill be able to get a lot out of this class

engl 306:

the professor that was in indonesia is back! that is absolutely going to be my hardest class, which is really just because of the amount of reading that we have to do for it, which i knew was going to be apart of the class (thanks previous prof for the warning). WHICH ISNT A BAD THING! ive heard so many really great things about him, hes been at my school for such a long time now and has great things online about him all of the way back to 2015.

engl 351:

didnt post his canvas page for a week. its ok its sounds confusing af tbh and i would probably get so frustrated. but ANYWAYS! it seems like a really fun class. i love fiction writing so i think it will be a good creative outlet.

art 132:

as we can see im kind of getting tired and dont want to write this anymore because its almost midnight. BUTT. this was like my one fun class i wanted to take this semester and of course i cant do anything normally and i want to minor in it. metal smithing is just SO different from everything that i do for my major, minor and certificate and of course if i do this as a minor as well it would become apart of my regular course load. ANYWAYS. the professor is amazing. you truly are able to go into this class with no knowledge of metals at all and learn so much just within the first few classes. i havent really done anything related to science at all in a few years, and theres not a whole TON of science involved, but we get to work with a few different type of chemicals involved in giving the metals different colors, cleaning metals, etc etc.. its just really exciting to get a completely new and challenging concept introduced to me and im really excited to go further into this course and will absolutely be taking a metal smithing course next semester

OK! lets talk about other things relating to this week.

i think something im learning every single day is how to deal with bad work days. something that i really wont disclose too much on here about in the next four years (TAKE THAT AS A HINT TO WHO IM TALKING ABOUT). in the past few days this job has become kind of stressful, but for once in my entire working career, i have a really positive and supporting working environment, something i never had while working at grocery stores. taking things one day at a time there is truly all i can do right now, because i know that as soon as things die down for now with that man i told yall about earlier in this part, or if certain things he has done are put back into law, that things will be better there. the amazing group of coworkers that i have there along with my amazing bosses are absolutely people.

thats probably all for this just because i lowkey wanna get on the sims 4 rn. its 12:02am. GOODNIGHT! maybe ill do songs for each post too, let me go find one.

im really excited for her to release new music

also here is what im currently reading

the handmaids tale by margaret atwood

providence by craig willse

a small place by jamaica kincaid

it would be fun to post reading recaps/reviews on those books whenever i do finish them. i just finished reading strange pictures by uketsu a few days ago as well which was an insane and absolutely amazing book. i will try to get a book review out for that soon actually!

[nitkat-rp-stash]

Hewwo as yall know this is my Rp blog where I do most of my bullshit with my scriblos!

It’s also my first time doing this so umm but a lil nice but aside from that! Here are

THA RULES!!! 💥

1. 18 to 21+ Rps since most of the topics that I’ll do are mixed but most of the time it’s normal. ButI want to be as flexible with the settings with the characters as I can but Mature topics are gonna appear so be careful! (Also I don’t want to interact with minors had very bad experiences with them)

2. NO ROMANCE, NO SHIPPING Unless ur a mutual friend of mine and we are consenting of this.

3. I prefer rping to be a semi literate multiple paragraph style. I'll try to adapt to the best of my ability but 10+ long paragraphs or short ones are a no for me like dawg.

4. I’m open to any type of roleplay! But please be considerate with me, and if there’s any shit ya want to pull in the RP we can discuss it in DMs for further details (so both parties can be on the same page).

5. I’m chill with Rping with Ocs! But I’ll start with a few Au characters and Ocs before I expand on more characters.

6. Please for Fucks sake be nice and non rude for fucks sake, I may take a while due to the bullshit I deal with most of the time.

7. Fandoms that I WILL NOT RP WITH: Anything created by Vivzipop, Celebrities/Real people, country/military shit, DSMP (Or any Minecraft related SMPs). And probably more cause I’m still thinking-

8. Series that I’m familiar : Megaman, Transformers, Pokemon, Steven universe, Digimon, Sonic, Spark the electric jester.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Character/Muses info-

Megaman X (Anchorage) He is a Reploid, a robot who can think feel and act on his own will. A member of the maverick hunters, he fights against mavericks. reploids who are a danger to society. He fights on and dreams of a Utopia of humans and reploids coexisting in peace. However he still despises fighting so at times he finds different ways to solve problems without violence. He currently runs a rehabilitation (a surprisingly successful) program of helping former mavericks (Who aren’t infected with the virus) and criminals to be reacquainted with society. Holding the belief of second chances, he’s currently married to Marty leader of the rose thorn pirate group for almost 50 years.



Ref:

Volnutt Caskett Light (Legends Reborn)- he's a Carbon, Biomechanical being with the ability to interfacing and changing their limbs with mechanical parts. He is a young adventurous digouter boy, who descends ruins to collect ancient artifacts and special crystals of energy called refractors. Who enjoys going on adventures, naive on aspects of the world and gets into mischief and Danger face first. but he holds a heart of gold. He loves his friends and family very much. He is, importantly, the Youngest Son of the ancient legend megaman X.

Xavier Light: Once upon a lifetime ago he was formally the legendary hero megaman x but now in this flooded world of no war, he is Xavier Light.The assistant of the renowned professor Barrell, aiding his research of Terra’s old civilizations. At the same time the Flutter’s caretaker, performing most domestic duties around the ship. A hardened yet gentle soul that at times provides wisdom and advice to those who need it, especially his youngest son Rock. Despite living a peaceful life Xavier is still a skilled warrior, but he would rather do diplomacy than fighting but when push comes to shove he’ll fight to the bitter end to keep his loved ones safe.

Note: Reborn!X is called Xavier and Anchorage!X is just named X they are are technically the same person but in different Timelines.

OC Verse:

Alice: Alice is a slime based alien being who explores the stars and medical assistance to those who are needed. A carefree mischievous individual who sought the curiosities to different worlds and what she could learn from it. Despite her duty she’s often dropped into the antics of others curious to see how it goes. She enjoys causing a lil bit of mayhem to entertain herself but still committing to her duty of supporting individuals on her travels. Often she enjoys the thrill of adventure and is surprisingly combative despite her status as a medic.

[ambrosialdesire]

is it chill if i show yall my yandere ocs ‼️

i have to revamp their designs and give them names, but i’ll list what/who they are rn from oldest to newest with brief descriptions priest: his name was originally fernando as a joke but i never really liked it/it never quite fit, i also made him back in like 2019; he's like kinda a cult leader who made a deal with the devil but he originally wasn't like that (think villain and violent, infant and innocent vibes). he's mostly nonchalant, but when he's around the person he loves (which is an angel in disguise as a detective trying to figure out who tf is doing all these fucked up sacrifices cause there's a little too much souls missing in heaven rn), he goes absolutely BONKERS, all teethy-smiles and giddy. he's still batshit insane though since the deal and his background made his head all fucked up lol minotaur: khristopher (yeah i'm also not into his name it's getting changed LMAO), made in 2021; he's a rancher, very hostile and antisocial so he kinda lives very isolated away from people, so yk that already makes him desperate for any sort of romantic affections. kinda has his moments of flirtiness, but it comes off as sleazy. he's rarely ever seen in public unless he's selling his farm produce in the farmer's market every sunday, but he gets some good sales in since his juice products are pretty popular. werewolf 1: sung-jae yeon (his name is being kept), also made in 2021; he's a singer/actor that got turned into a werewolf (which he hides surprisingly well as a famous person) and though he may seem to be kind, he's actually a big egotistical asshole that does whatever he wants when he wants because of the amount of fame and wealth he has. he's also kinda goofy in the way rafayel is from love and deepspace is iykwm siren/merman: pollux agineus (his name is also being kept), also made in 2021; he's a professional surfer who's seemingly the shyest and gets flustered so easily around the one he loves BUT THAT SHITS ACTUALLY A FACADE he's so mindlessly possessive that he'll literally try to cannibalize his love cause he thinks that's normal to do (in his species), and his short temper isn't something to mess with either. he's a mean mf fr

werewolf 2: this guy i had a dream about back in late 2021 after those three above and he was originally a viking werewolf, but i meshed him into sung-jae's lore and he became the one that turned him into a werewolf (on accident). never gave him a name but he's a feral werewolf (born one), meaning that he's way bigger and tougher than sung-jae's werewolf form. there's not much about him other than him being stoic and gruff, saying barely saying anything because he also doesn't know how to speak any human language, so you're basically constantly being slung onto his shoulder and doing whatever he wants you to do.

idk how to describe this one since it's like a regular dude: levyathan "levy" sampson miller YES HIS NAME IS THAT LMAO I MADE IT PURPOSELY LIKE THAT and i made him last year. COMPLETE SCUMBAG, AN MISOGYNISTIC GAMER INCEL, THE WORST OF THE WORSTTTTT AND he's in a mechanical engineering major. he's so disgustingly depraved and decrepit that if i ever post the concept sketches i did for him, you can fs tell he smells like sweat and monster energy drinks. he literally has no interest in irl women EXCEPT his best friend's (yeah it's really surprising he has one, i'll go into it later) girlfriend, that's how fucked up he is. i had to get some of my friends' opinions on how to make the worst man ever and here he is LMAO also he’s into his best friend, but he’s so in denial of being bi that it affects their relationship (not completely cause there’s other factors)

uhh yeah that's about it that i want to share, there's like a small handful that aren't mentioned but i wanted to keep those to myself since they're like sorta niche and personal ig lol i'll get to drawing them maybe next week since i wanted to try out my new drawing program 😈

[stars-and-guts]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS POST SORRY IT IS THIS POST

okay listen i do not talk about my assigned gender at birth on this blog however- from my experience with afabs in my life, pain tolerance is so high for yall omg

its a very tfym my indifference to my monthly so-severe-i-cannot-stand-for-the-duration-of-a-week pain isnt normal moment

bc im like that w/ all my pains??? idk bro to my brain theyre normal now i dont even know what they are but theyre a part of me

my last IOP therapy program had assessments once a week qhere one of the questions was like "how tired are you" with answers being "same as usual", "a bit more tired", "its difficult to do my daily tasks", "i cant do my daily tasks" or something like that

how am i supposed to choose between "same as usual" and "its difficult to do my daily tasks" if theyre both synonymous to me? theyre both simultaneous all the time. the fatigue does not stop.

so yeah im dealing with it yk, if i made it this far i can keep making it, thats what my brain says. it scares me that unusual feelings in my body are not scary.

I don't know who needs to hear this but:

-"it only hurts a little" is still pain

-"I can ignore it" is still pain

-"I can cope with/manage it" is still pain

-"it's bearable" is still pain

-"I can push through it" is still pain

-"it doesn't hurt that much" is still pain

-"it doesn't stop me from doing x" is still pain

You don't need to be in agonizing pain to be in pain.

[radical-sainthood]

Quite alright, I was busy yesterday myself. And by busy I mean prancing about in ears and a tail because it was Halloween and I could. I probably won't be able to do that until the convention this January so I had to! Also watching all the analog horror content that dropped yesterday. There's... still so much to go through.

Well, anyway! Best I have at the moment to help is reinforcing that I also don't think anything is wrong with his body, no matter what it was made or used for in the past. (Same for yall collectively ofc.) You may relay that message if you wish/are able too. He doesn't need to talk to me if he doesn't want, either. Just. Throwing it out there.

I personally still need to get better at the caring act. I do genuinly want to help others, but irl I can come off as real deadpan and thats... not the most comforting. Thats why I find it easier to type, especially with tone tags, so I can convey what I actually want to. I do experience emotions myself, but it's very hard to convey them outwardly in a phsyical sense at times. With writing, there's so much more to make it more clear. Punctuation, tone tags, emojis, you get it.

And!!!! Augh I'm glad you liked reading it and hearing about all that. Like I said, I've never gone that in depth before so I was nervous. But yea!! Learning and trying to heal together, and mutually being beneficial for each others complexes (I don't think his god complex is undo-able, but thats okay since you can have one and still be happy and functional, so Im not entirely concerned about it staying.) Honestly, its funny in a way. He and I are very different from eachother, and yet here we are. I especially thought he'd permanently hate me, given I'm a mad scientist of sorts, but!!! No!!! And I just fgdksafhcvhdfksagfdhfbcdhfg. Weh. >_<

Anyway, I will now be shifting into somewhat heavier topics. (programming again.) If you're not in a mind to read it: SKIP THE RED TEXT. (No hard feelings if you're not, its less questions this time and more of an update on my discoveries, partially submitted as well for the other anons going through similar.)

So, I've discovered that I can use the annoying dizziness as a bit of a geiger counter for answers in some cases. For example: wondering if we're only one part of the system, or maybe a subsystem dedicated to the front = get dizzy, meaning I shouldn't think about that, meaning there likley is or was meant to be and I'm not supposed to be able to think about it, but since nothing was ever completed I can override that failsafe. Or: Thinking about different programs and how they could be used on others = no dizzy, meaning I was potentially meant to be a handler as well as a general servator (current descriptor Im using.) Those are just some examples, but it's been helpful and maybe others can use this method. (PLEASE BE CAREFUL, YOU MAY TRIGGER DANGEROUS FAILSAFES.)

I've also figured out more things about sleep: We stopped taking naps when the body was one year old, which is... not normal for humans. We regained the ability to do so around age twenty, but not without feeling guilty if I haven't "Done Enough" first. So it would seem those are used as some form of reward system.

End of red text.

I also feel like this is writting letters to a friend kinda!!! Your letter did find us well, and I hope mine finds you the same.

-🦌👁

Good evening watching deer anon. Your letter found us quite well, it is always a joyous day when a friend hears word from another!

Now, I cannot speak on what you and Cas have discussed in regards to your partner and your relationship, but I nevertheless assure you that we found it very endearing.

As for Kevin/The Deep. I will pass on the sentiment, it will mean a great deal to him and us.

As for what is in the red text. Let me say that your gieger counter is likely very accurate. I have been a member of this system for nearly 15 years, and I can personally tell you that I have installed similar fail safes into our system. Any time the beloved members of this system get too close to information I prefer left better alone it triggers an intense dizziness, followed by nausea followed by disassociation. And if that isn't enough, a seizure.

I recommend treading carefully in these areas, as you may never know what sort of symptoms your body is capable of triggering.

I'm sure you would have made an astute handler, and I hope, if that is ever your interest you are able to be one. You'd be surprised what it takes to break the human mind.

And absolutely you can be completely functional with many complexes. The ears and tail sounds nice, I'm glad you got a moment of authenticity in a world meant to choke those who are of a unusual breed.

All the best, your friends at the Liminal Churchyard

[whoreforharlow]

They’re not wrong! It’s called No Place Like Home for a reason and it’s annual too so it’s expected to come every year but it’s kinda unfair to the rest of us who don’t want to travel to Kentucky. As long as he’s having fun with it I guess

Exactly. Idk if that anon thinks I'm stupid and need to be told all of the obvious information regarding celebs favoring their home state/city more than others lol

Now this is just me getting on my soap box, so not directed as a response to this ask lol

👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

Like it makes sense why NPLH is only in Kentucky and it's really not that big of a deal. I'm not rocking back and forth in the corner of my room having a mental breakdown regarding the fact that he's only doing 6 shows and their all in Kentucky 😂

Like idk when it became illegal to be upset about decisions made by other people that distantly affect me, and even shit that doesn't remotely affect me lol. He has a show, I can't go to said show, I'm upset. I feel like it's perfectly normal to be annoyed/upset with this lol. And it's not just Jack, it's literally any other celeb too. Yall don't think I be bent out of shape everytime Dreamville fest comes around and I can't go because I can't afford to be flying out and paying for a hotel room ON TOP of tickets?

This is not Jack specific entitlement lol

I, as the center of the universe, feel entitled to EVERYTHING that I want. I'm a certified hater lol, I hate when things aren't convenient for me. Doesn't mean I'm having a conniption about it. I'm coming ON MY BLOG to complain, and then going back to my regularly scheduled program where I forget this man exists entirely.

I SWEAR I barely care about not seeing him in Kentucky lol. I was upset for like 2 minutes when I heard the news, threw my lil "It's not fair" tantrum and moved on lol. Let me clarify for those that need it: This man, a complete stranger to me whom I do not know and who does not know me, could never make me miserable as he does some of yall on this app.

Yall take shit way too seriously on this app with feeling like you gotta throw your think piece in someone's inbox 🤣

I'm here to have fun and that's it, and it's those think piece in someone's inbox warriors that feel the need to explain to a stranger that this stranger that doesn't know who any single one of us are on this app, "doesn't owe you anything"... like it's not that deep lol, you're not saving Jack's feelings or whatever by invalidating fans who are disappointed that he's not touring. He doesn't owe anyone anything in the same way no one owes anyone anything in this world.

Like tbh, entitlement is even too strong a word to be using when it comes to me just wanting Jack to tour. It's not entitled. I'm a fan wanting an artist to tour the country and being disappointed when he doesn't. If we waterdown the meaning of entitled to you can't want a single thing in this life without it being called entitled we'll destroy the idea of living in a society which is built on expectation of giving and taking. We give this man money and support and in turn he gives us music and tours lol. Not entitlement, just business. Now if I was out here with pitchforks and petitions, then I would say it's entitlement lol, but not me expressing disappointment on a fucking Tumblr blog 😂😂

And to the people that are hellbent on explaining what No Place Like Home means... please shut up lol, nobody here is that dense that they can't understand why he would choose only Kentucky, his home, for this tour.

Anyways, I'm over this now. Get out my inbox with the whole Jack doesn't owe you anything, I know he doesn't, but it doesn't mean I'm not disappointed/upset/annoyed or whatever other feeling word can be used here

[heartbreakerkid-trap]

STORY TIME********

Okay so Friday afternoon, I had to go back to the hospital and it was a different hospital it was a little far out but I’m like okay no biggie. I get here I’m hooked up I’m chilling. Everything going normal. Saturday morning, they woke me up telling me to get ready, get clean look presentable I’m like why? And they didn’t tell me. Some other nurse comes in and I’m asking her what’s going on and she says they got some deal or something and they need pictures and stuff and they want me to be the main model. I said okay. I go out and stuff or whatever and it’s a lot of baby stuff I’m looking around, I’m nervous and shit feeling like I done got caught up in some fraud shit and they finna take me out😭😭😭 so anyways I’m taking pictures and shit Bc they are kinda cool. One of the best hospitals I’ve been in. And then they asked my sister to get in the picture too. I’m kinda panicking like…. Yall finna set us up and then it was like a lot of baby product too so I’m like wtf bruh. Or they need some program pictures or something or idk something for money. (I lost a lot of weight don’t talk too much) And so ight cool they all hugged me, shook my head and said thank you and everything I’m like no problem so we go back into my room and everything goes back to normal. The drs being nice and sweet and yk just normal shit. That night they discharged me I’m like man yeo I done got myself into some deep shit Bc how y’all get me, do a shoot and then now I’m leaving???? I said ight fuck it let me get tf before I try to leave a minute later and the police or something outside. So I’m out and I’m going home. I got a call around 4am to go back. I’m like fuck that Bc wtf? And then ppl kept begging me to go. My siblings mostly just was like nah go ahead, Quinn was telling me and shit and then ppl was like they might have caught something that could kill me that they didn’t see before so I’m like man ight. Whole time I’m my way, I’m praying and stuff just please don’t let me go to jail, don’t let me die or something. I get there and I held Khalid for the first time. He was so small and they showed me pictures when he first came to the hospital to be checked up on or whatever, he looked big but when I held him and stuff he was the smallest thing. Ig he had deflated🤣🤣🤣 but nah fr he was little. I love this lil man. Congratulations @nenebanene @quinnsdripp and happy 1st birthday to my son (god son)❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

(Oh for um info purposes this happened…. Last year he’s a yr old today)

[wilwheaton]

These Four Companies Claim to Support BLM. They Support White Nationalist Tucker Carlson’s Fox News Program.

This is from today’s Popular Info newsletter:

Last week, Carlson advised viewers that they are not "required to be upset" about George Floyd's murder by a Minneapolis police officer, especially if they have "never even been to Minneapolis."

Last month, as the protests began, he described them as an "ancient battle between those who have a stake in society and would like to preserve it and those who don’t and seek to destroy it." Carlson later described the conflict as between "thugs" and "normal people."

None of this is out of character for Carlson. He has a long history of using white nationalist rhetoric. Last August, Carlson said the idea that white supremacy is a problem in America is a "hoax" and a "conspiracy theory." In 2018, Carlson said that immigrants were making America "poorer, and dirtier, and more divided."  In 2017, Carlson described Obama as "vulgar" because he "vacationed with rappers." The same year, he promoted Gab, a social media site that caters to white nationalists. In 2015, Carlson attacked Stephen Colbert for wearing a "Black Lives Matter" wristband, saying it meant Colbert believed "you divide people on the basis of their skin color and say, ‘This one group of people’s lives matter.’"

Tucker Carlson is a despicable racist and bigot. These four companies claim to support Black Lives Matter (and have made a HUGE deal about their alleged support), yet they continue to sponsor this reprehensible racist’s show:

* Papa John’s Pizza (of course)

* Disney (unsurprising, but still disgusting) SEE UPDATE!

* Vari (office furniture company I didn’t know existed before today)

* Johnson & Jonhson (all lives matter, or something)

Papa John’s is a lost cause. That guy is the patron saint of shitty right-wing pieces of shit, an unrepentant right-wing Trumpist. Fuck that guy and his garbage “food” forever. 

Disney is likely to respond to sustained and overwhelming public outcry, and getting Disney to drop its support for a white nationalist would go a long way toward pressuring other sponsors to drop their support.

Vari and Johnson & Johnson are easy for me to boycott. Maybe they are for you, too?

If you care about this sort of thing, you can vote with your wallet. You deserve better than that Papa John’s garbage. Get your pizza delivered from a local place. Finding alternatives to Johnson & Johnson should be pretty easy in any drugstore. Disney is really tough, because let’s be honest: theme parks are great, and Disney+ is pretty awesome. But I will write letters, and so should you. Vari doesn’t exist in my life so I’m just going to go ahead and put that company on generic blast for supporting a racist bigot. If you handle purchasing for your company, maybe you can encourage your bosses to buy office furniture from some other company.

But all of us can write letters, tag on social media, and let the people who make the decisions at these companies know that we are watching, and we will not support them as long as they continue to sponsor a white nationalist.

HOLY SHIT YALL while I was writing this, Disney pulled their support!! One down, three to do. We can do this!

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.5 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N invites Josh over to work on a project while Peter goes back to his Spiderman duties which sends Y/N into a spiral.

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: WOWIE I really stayed up all night to finish this ha. Anyway! This gives more backstory about Y/N and what happened with her biological parents and ughhhh things are moving yall! Also leave comments if it’s good and if it’s bad also leave comments 🥰

Warnings: Mention of blood, death, panic attack, ANGST 

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || 

part seven || part eight || epilogue 

Even though the Avengers Complex was your home, it was much more than a place where you crashed after school. You had to keep in mind that to any normal person, the idea of seeing alien technology in use or friends from galaxies away wasn’t an average Thursday. 

You never thought any of this was particularly strange until now as you got the text from Josh that he was parked in the back lot of the building like you had told him to. 

Since you and Josh were partners for anatomy, you thought it would be obvious that you would be staying at his house to work on your project but your dad had other ideas. 

The sheer thought of you going to a boy’s house to “study” was absurd, especially since Josh’s parents were always out of town for business. You never thought your dad would ever let any of your friends into the complex, especially a boy but in the name of science, it wasn’t too hard to convince him. 

You quietly opened the side door as Josh slid in behind you and let out a low whistle. 

“ Not too shabby Stark, although I gotta say, the lawn is looking a bit wild,” Josh smiled as he readjusted his backpack straps,” if you need me to come over to cut it, I charge $9.00 an hour.”

“ In that case, your first shift starts next week,” You teased as you led him to the main set of elevators in the building. 

You couldn’t help but feel on edge as Josh followed close behind you. You had never brought anyone over and you were scared that bringing Josh would make things turn into a big deal. You knew how protective some of the other Avengers were of you and you just prayed silently that you wouldn’t run into any of them, especially Peter. 

You weren’t sure how Peter would take it if he found out you and Josh were getting closer. 

Peter was in a fragile state and who knew what little thing could set him off. You were even more worried that Peter would find out about the party tomorrow night because it wasn’t like you could invite him along. 

The idea of mixing hormonal teenagers and alcohol was a recipe for disaster but the damage that could be made from Peter’s self-destructive state could be even bigger. 

As much as you knew how badly things could turn out with Josh in the complex, you knew you couldn’t let Peter’s actions affect what went on in your academic life and at the end of the day, Josh was just a classmate. 

Josh looked all around him, taking in everything from the colorful array of gadgets neatly built into the walls to the natural light coming from the sleek windows. 

“ I feel so out of place- am I underdressed?” Josh asked as a few lab technicians walked past giving you and Josh an odd glance,” and how do you not get lost in a place this big.” 

You pressed the elevator button and gave Josh a reassuring smile,” Trust me, they’ve seen weirder things around here. Like, way weirder things.”

When the elevator doors opened, the two of you walked in and you started pointing to the elevator buttons,” So a quick tour! We’re on the main floor which basically is used for important meetings and conferences, the second floor is for the gym and pool, the third is where some of the bedrooms are, fourth is strictly for the scientists, the fifth is the labs, and the other floors are for S.H.I.E.L.D agents. Also, the basement has all the cool gadgets I’m not allowed to play with but I’m convinced it’s just where the guys all hang out and drink.” 

“ You have an indoor pool?” 

“ That’s what caught your attention?” You laughed as Josh nodded enthusiastically.

“ Well yeah! Do you even use it? I vaguely remember that when you were twelve, you almost drowned in 4ft water at someone’s pool party,” Josh said as you pressed the third button. 

“ It was 5ft but yes I know how to swim...my dad made me take lessons after that,” You mumbled as you remembered that experience vividly,” I tried lifeguarding last summer at that super fancy hotel near Greenwich but the training was too expensive so I just took a CPR course at the YMCA and lifeguarded there.” 

“ Did you ever have to save anyone?” Josh asked curiously as the glass elevators moved up towards your floor. 

You nodded as Josh’s mouth dropped,” Yup, I had to give CPR and everything. Lucky for them, saving lives runs in my family.” 

As the elevator doors opened up to your floor, you made sure to carefully scan the hallway before stepping out. Peter was supposed to be up in the labs all-day so that gave you enough time to work on the project with Josh while keeping Peter at a safe distance. 

As you were approaching the door to your room, the fridge door in the kitchen closed and revealed Peter with an IV pole on his left side and an apple in the other hand. 

“ Peter!” You said nervously as you took a small step in front of Josh, almost as if you were covering him up from Peter’s line of vision,” What are you doing here? I thought you were up in the labs?” 

Peter looked past you and eyed Josh up and down before holding up the fruit, walking towards the two of you,” Um, I needed something to eat- Who is he?” 

Peter was constantly feeling some type of distress whether it was chest pains or headaches but now that he clearly caught you hiding a boy from him, the pain felt off. 

You had never brought over any of your friends to the headquarters before so to Peter, this was already a red flag. Peter felt like his body was on high alert as thousands of scenarios were going through his head. 

Josh stepped forward and held his hand out for Peter to shake,” Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Josh. Y/N and I go to Manhattan Prep together.”

Peter looked down at Josh’s hand for a moment before shaking it hard. Josh winced but played off his pain as he pulled his hand away and stuffed it back into his pockets. You could feel the one-sided tension between the two as you looked over to Peter to try to ease him but his eyes were glued to Josh. 

You cleared your throat as you turned to face Josh,“ Peter is a part of my dad’s internship program so he spends most of his time here at the complex. He’s pretty much a part of the family and he’s a really good friend, right Peter? ” 

Peter nodded as he tried to calm his nerves down, his quick glance to Josh was almost as if he was begging his body to put his guard down.  He couldn’t control his body and this was the first time the lovedust had forced him into a territorial state. 

“ No kidding, that’s awesome man. My buddy from Midtown was telling me that he knew a guy who was accepted into the Stark Internship,” Josh said as Peter stood up a little straighter. 

“ Oh really? Who?”

“ Flash Thompson, do you know him?” Josh asked as Peter looked over at you, almost as a warning. 

While Josh was trying to be civil towards Peter, Peter couldn’t help but feel the pit in his stomach sink lower and lower with the thought of Josh even associating with someone like Flash. 

“ As a matter of fact, I do know Flash,” Peter said smoothly, his speech hardly hesitating,” you sure know how to pick friends.” 

You and Josh could tell that Peter was giving a dig towards him but Josh quickly let it go as he tried to ease the situation. 

“ Well... it was nice to meet you Peter, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine,” Josh said as he gave a genuine smile,” I’m sure Y/N already mentioned this to you but if you’re not busy or anything, my friend is throwing a party tomorrow and you should come out.”

Fuck. 

Peter looked at you for a moment before returning a small smile to Josh,” Thanks, I’ll think about it.” 

“ Um Josh, can you just wait in my room for a second?” You asked as Josh looked between the two of you and nodded. 

You didn’t want to be upset at Peter for feeling hostile towards Josh because you knew he really couldn’t help himself. It was eating away at you that you were the reason Peter was acting so jealous but come on, did he really have a reason to?

Once Josh closed the door behind him, you turned back to Peter and looked down at the IV that was in his arm. 

“ Is everything okay?” You asked as Peter looked down at his arm,” that looks pretty serious.”

“ Yeah… I’ve been having some problems but nothing your dad can’t fix” Peter deflected softly before looking over to your bedroom door,” so Josh...is he a friend?”

Peter knew he was walking on thin ice asking about Josh but he couldn’t bring himself to just go back in the labs and worry about the two of you all day. 

“ He’s just a friend Peter, we have a school project and we’re partners,” You reassured him as Peter felt almost relieved,” and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the party, I didn’t think you would want to go but I should’ve asked.”

Peter studied your expression for a moment before looking down at his feet. It was hard to tell if you were telling the truth, maybe you didn’t want him to come. School project or not, Peter felt threatened by Josh, even if Josh was trying his best to be as nice as possible. 

“ It’s okay, you’re right. Parties aren’t my thing anyway,” Peter shrugged as you bit the inside of your cheek.

You weren’t sure why you felt so guilty but whatever you were feeling, you hated how much it was stirring inside of you. You never wanted Peter to feel left out and you could easily tell that it was bothering him as much as it was bothering you. 

“ Maybe if you’re not busy tonight, we can watch a movie together. I checked the kitchen this morning and there’s a ton of frozen pizzas if you’re up for it?” You suggested as Peter tapped his fingers against the side of his leg. 

Peter wanted to jump at the offer, any excuse to hang out with you alone literally set Peter so close to having a cardiac arrest in the best way possible. While he was getting the hang of controlling his words around you, it felt like the more time you spent with him, the more he felt himself fall for you. 

“ I’m actually going to patrol tonight,” Peter said in a low whisper as he looked back at your bedroom door,” I haven’t been on the streets in a long time and I think I feel well enough to go.” 

“ Are you sure you’re ready? You’re literally hooked up to an IV bag Peter,” You said as Peter subtly pushed the IV pole behind him as if he could hide it. 

“ I won’t do anything crazy, I’ll be okay. I’ll only be out for a couple of hours and we can hang out when I get back,” Peter said as you hesitantly nodded. 

You understood that being a superhero meant that you couldn’t take sick days but this was an extreme circumstance. To you, Spiderman could wait but for Peter, that was a large part of his livelihood that he had put aside for too long. 

You wanted to tell him not to go, better yet, if you could hide every single one of his Spiderman suits you would. It didn’t sit right with you that with everything going on with his health that he would jeopardize it but you knew it wasn’t your call. 

“ Okay, but please text me updates so I know you’re safe. Things have been so crazy lately and I-”

“ Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll be okay,” Peter interrupted as he felt his heart grow heavy,” I promise I’ll keep you updated.”

You didn’t know why the thought of Peter going out was so scary but before you could think things over in your head, your feet stepped forward and you pulled Peter into a tight hug. You rested your chin against his shoulder as you inhaled deeply as if hugging Peter would calm down your nerves for the rest of your life. 

Without a second thought, Peter drew his arms over your body and held you close to his chest. His heart beat even faster than usual as he closed his eyes, holding you even tighter than before. 

                                                         ----------

You checked your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour as you grew more and more anxious. 

Peter had been gone for hours to go patrol while you and Josh were still working on the project. It was eating away at you that Peter wasn’t back yet and every time another minute passed without an update, you felt like you were closer to losing your mind. 

Even before Peter made contact with the lovedust, you would still secretly pray that he got home in one piece. When everyone you knew and loved had a career that put themselves in the line of danger, thoughts of not having them around anymore plagued you whenever you had a quiet moment to yourself. 

You had lost people before to freak accidents like your biological parents who had passed away when you were old enough to know how death worked. You couldn’t imagine not having Tony as your dad but some nights whenever you were filled to the brim with anxiety,  you wondered what your life would’ve been like if your parents weren’t killed during that home invasion. 

When you’ve lost people, it never gets easier, terror plagues you. The fear of someone you know getting hurt was by far scarier than anything Hollywood could recreate with CGI and yet, it was slowly looming over you. 

Superheros were literally your life and you weren’t mentally prepared that one day, something bad could happen and you could lose them forever. With Peter, you weren’t sure if it was because of how close the two of you were now but the fear of losing him was bigger than any other scenario you had crafted in your head. 

“ Is everything okay? You seem a little out of it,” Josh said as you looked away from your phone and back towards your laptop. 

“ Yeah, I’m good, my body just feels so tired. I’ve read so much medical terminology within the past couple of hours and now everything is jumbling together,” You sighed as you looked down at Josh who was sprawled out onto your bedroom floor with a textbook resting against his stomach. 

You never realized how comfortable your floor was but seeing Josh on your floor looking as effortless as ever was a shock to your system. When Josh caught your gaze, you turned back to your laptop and rested your cheek against your palm to try to cover the blush that was creeping onto your cheeks. 

As you rested your cheek against your propped up hand, you could feel your eyelids get heavier with each passing second. Josh noticed from his spot on the ground and sat upon his hands, watching you ever so intently. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed once you closed your eyes but once you felt a blanket drape across your shoulders, you stirred quietly. 

You held your breath as you waited for anything else but all you could hear was paper shuffling around. You peeked your eye out and saw Josh crouched down on your floor, carefully putting his textbooks and notes into his backpack, being careful not to wake you. 

Instead of waking up to say goodbye, you pretend to be asleep as if you were too nervous to even confront Josh this late. The papers stopped shuffling and as you tried to keep your breathing patterns even, you felt Josh’s hand rub your shoulder softly before walking out of the room. 

Once your bedroom door had closed, you hesitantly opened your eyes and gave a quick peek to make sure Josh was really gone. 

You exhaled loudly, not even aware that you were holding it in all this time. You let the blanket fall onto the chair before walking over to your large window that pointed towards where Josh had parked. 

You knew you should’ve walked him down after everything he had done for your project but the least you could do now was to make sure he left the complex in one piece. After a few minutes of patiently looking out the window, you saw Josh’s car pull out of the long driveway and headed down towards the front gate. 

Your mind instantly traveled back to Peter as you checked your phone again but this time you went back to your messages and looked at all of the unread messages you had left for him. 

5:12pm || Y/N: update me when you get to your post! 

5:29pm || Y/N: oh don’t swing and text loser!!!!

6:01pm || Y/N: you there yet? 

6:36pm || Y/N: don’t make me spam text u nerd

6:57pm || Y/N: im gonna just pretend you’re too busy to txt me back-be safe!

7:40pm || Y/N: helloooo?!?! Is everything okay

8:00pm || Y/N: i will leak your identity fool txt me back 

8:40pm || Y/N: whatever idc anymore

8:44pm || Y/N: still haven’t heard back from you, you dead? 

9:06pm || Y/N: ur freaking me out dude, any updates? 

9:33pm || Y/N: there was a fire near the museum are you okay?!?! The news said you were there 

9:35pm || Y/N: peter????

9:50pm || Y/N: call me im worried

10:02pm || Y/N: ur scaring me pls respond 

You cursed under your breath as you pressed the call button and placed it to your ear. After a few rings, Peter’s voicemail came on and you didn’t even bother to listen to it all the way. You had already left so many voicemails and at this point, there was nothing you could do but wait for him. 

You were filled with dread as you scooted back into your bed and refreshed the news pages on your phone. 

Spiderman Stops an Armed Gunman Outside Plaza

You knew that it wasn’t healthy for you to keep scrolling online but you needed to know if Peter was safe. You hated the feeling of not being kept into the loop and Peter wasn’t the type to completely ignore text messages unless that meant he was in real trouble, what could you do to help him, you don’t have any powers you’re just a teenager-

You took a deep breath in as you shut your phone off and stared up at the ceiling to clear your head. 

Peter is smart. He’s fast. He will be fine. You kept repeating it over and over again like a lullaby and with some luck, you could feel your eyelids get heavier and heavier by the second with Peter being the last thing you thought before falling into a deep sleep. 

You held your hand over your mouth to try and stop the sobs that rocked your body from underneath the bed. You could hear your dad begging, pleading to spare his wife before the sound of a gunshot went off. 

It was louder than you remembered almost as if the sky let out a roaring thunder that shook the whole house. You could hear your dad struggling with the gunman before another shot rang out, this time even louder. 

The glowing stars that were stuck to your ceiling shook off once your bedroom door had slammed opened and you prayed silently, wanting the nightmare to end. 

You did your best to be quiet as you watched his feet walk slowly to the bed, almost at a teasing pace like he knew you were underneath there. Everytime the nightmare played in your head, the attacker took on a different appearance. Sometimes it was someone you knew, other times it was just a passing face on the street. 

But everytime you had this nightmare, one thing never changed. The shoes, black sneakers with white laces and depending on how terrible the nightmare decided to be, you could spot the splatter of blood against the heels. 

You watched as the man walked behind your bed and you let out a scream as you felt his hands wrap around your ankles, pulling you roughly against the carpet. As you scratched at the attackers face, your sob got caught in the middle of your throat. 

The attacker always took a different appearance and this time, it was Peter. 

You kicked and screamed as hard as you could as he tried to pin you down, his weapon pressed into the side of your rib as you sobbed uncontrollably. You knew it was a dream and you were so used to letting it ride out or until you fell out of bed but with Peter staring at you as he dangled your life between his fingers, all you wanted to do was wake up. 

All you could do was continue to fight back through your tears as he kept saying your name, taunting you. 

“ Let go of me!”

“ Y/N! I got you!” 

“ It’s me Peter!” 

“Y/N!” 

You shot up from out of your bed, almost knocking heads with another figure as you let out a choked sob. You didn’t realize your fists were still swinging until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your body, cradling you. 

The memory of the attacker was still so vivid in your head and all you wanted to do was get away,“ Let me go!” You screamed as you struggled against their grip as they held you even tighter,” get off of me!” 

“ Y/N! Y/N! It’s me! It’s me! You’re okay!” Peter shouted as he let his grip go before cupping his hands on either side of your face,” open your eyes! Hey! It’s me, you’re okay!” 

You squirmed from his lap as you opened your eyes to see Peter in front of you, the actual Peter. As relieved as you were, you felt your chest tighten as you continued to cry and without a second thought, you leaned into Peter’s chest and buried your wet face into his t-shirt. 

Peter held you tighter as he rested one hand against the back of your head and the other was snaked around your waist. He smoothed down your hair as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm you down,” It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here, I got you.” 

You hadn’t felt so relieved to see anyone until now and as you tried to control your cries, you felt yourself slowly transitioning back into reality. You inhaled his scent as you dug your face into his neck and you never thought a smell could bring you so much peace. 

Relief wasn’t even what you were feeling, it was more than that. You couldn’t put it into words and it was heavier than the idea of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. Release. To sob into someone’s embrace where you knew you would be safe no matter what felt heavenly and with every sob you let out, you felt yourself separate from the nightmare altogether. 

Peter had to hold back his own tears as he held you and slowly rocked your body back and forth like a baby. He wasn’t sure if it was comforting you but it definitely put Peter at ease. 

Just minutes ago, he had just checked on you to see if you were still awake and once he saw that you were sleeping, he went back to his room to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until he was putting on his pajamas when the hair on his arm stood up seconds before you actually let out a scream only he could sense. 

Peter literally scrambled to your room and had his web-shooters ready because from what he could hear, he thought someone was attacking you. It wasn’t until he saw that you were having a nightmare that he quickly threw his web-shooters to the side and tried to wake you up. 

It was one thing to be in love with someone and to go through the motions as if it was a normal occasion but this was different. Seeing you so vulnerable and completely terrified utterly broke Peter in half and he knew for sure that it wasn’t all because of the lovedust. 

“ You’re safe Y/N, you’re okay.” 

“ Don’t worry I got you.” 

“ Just breathe for me, okay?” 

For what seemed like forever, Peter cradled you and whispered into your ear to let you know that you were okay and that he was there for you. He wanted you to tell him everything about the nightmare and what had triggered it but he knew that it wasn’t just an ordinary nightmare with the occasional boogeyman. 

You thought back to your nightmare one last time as you pictured a hazy Peter attacking you and it almost sent you into another panic attack. Peter could feel how tense you got and his grip loosened so he could look back at you. 

Your eyes were puffy from crying so much and your cheeks were flushed red but Peter thought you were absolutely beautiful. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say to him, there was so much to say yet so little at the same time. 

“ Thank you,” You whispered ever so softly as you craned your neck up and pressed a soft kiss against Peter’s cheek. 

You both knew that it wasn’t an ordinary thank you but for Peter, he didn’t need to analyze it any further. You closed your eyes and listened to the sound of Peter’s heartbeat that rang throughout his body. 

From pure exhaustion of crying and anxiety, you felt even more tired than before and Peter could feel you slipping back to sleep. He didn’t want to let you go, if he could, he would hold you in his arms forever if it meant keeping you safe and sound. 

Once Peter heard your soft snores, he held you for a second longer before carefully laying you back down into your bed. Like second nature, Peter pulled the covers back over your body and tucked a strand of hair that was danging in the middle of your face behind your ear. 

Peter ignored the sore feeling that was lingering in his back and forearms from holding you up and lightly dragged his fingers across his own cheek. He was way into deep now. 

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[aphrodite1288]

Ks has been receiving love calls since he was still in the army. He had already said that if he was asked to participate in a variety show, he would accept. He doesn't want his private life exposed is one thing, doesn't mean he doesn't want to be promoted. You are making excuses for the neglect, mistreatment and sabotage the career him

#Disclaimer: 1st of all that's going to be a long ass Post to reply to any asks like that, so I hope people would read everything and not just read half of it and go bark somewhere about something I said that I have explained later but y'all didn't reach it to read it! So read everything before making comments or sending me asks. I don't want to repeat what I said here. So read before coming at me and bombard me with asks about stuff I already discussed here in this answer!

Sis you barely even know anything of him now. He already started filming his movie in June and finished filming his MV in late May or early June and you knew nothing about it 💁🏻‍♀️ coz if he really wanted to share that with y'all he would have mentioned it in his bubble or at least we would have seen him outside in the set. BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO 🤷🏻‍♀️ HE doesn't want y'all to know, and don't tell me "coz SM is locking him up in the basement" that's why he can't breath and write you in bubble?? Heck! He even comes sometimes just to tell us about the weather or to drop a song and never mentioned about anything else about his life or his schedule. Normally all the members update about them going into their schedules but without revealing the content of the schedule coz that's the rules, but at least we get a pic or two of them heading to their schedules! To know that they're jobless! Heck Sehun is jobless now but we see him more than we see Ksoo who's extremely busy with a drama a movie and a debut and album preparations and promotion preparation! But Ksoo doesn't want that! He doesn't want y'all to know things about his life or what he does, or where he goes 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's why his fans and Fansites are so secretive and don't share anything, UPON HIS REQUEST. And to respect his extreme private character.

If he wanted he would have accepted Variety shows darling. He is busy filming a drama and a movie and making a debut and an album and preparing for promotions. Do you think he is free to be on Variety now? Even if he was asked , he can't now. Maybe later after or during his debut to promote for his album yeah, But definitely not now. Yes he had opportunities and he refused them coz he's busy. And maybe we would see him in the future but he is not into reality shows that much. Now he is focusing on his acting career and singing career relatively. As he is still not built as a solo artist yet to start a new journey for building a variety character and image for himself now. But maybe after his debut. Hopefully 🙇🏻‍♀️🕯️🕎

Sis he is busy, booked and he doesn't like being in the lights. He said it himself he had trauma in the past that left scars on him and affected his behavior with his own fans that's why he said he is distant from them.

Stop making me look like I hate Kyungsoo. This account is MAINLY and ONLY about HIM and Ji 💁🏻‍♀️ do you think I'd bother make an acc about him and talking about him 25/8 if I hated him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Fans don't want to admit their idol don't like interacting much with them 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's the truth. He likes his job but not the fans and sasaengs and aeygo part of it. He said it himself, he even thought of quitting Many times, as he found that he isn't FITTING into this idol world.

There's something u need to know, SM only wants to renew with Ksoo and Chan and Ji and Baek and mainly KSOO and Baek. So he is not sabotaged he is favored in the company. It's just that he doesn't like working with sM anymore! and he is enjoying his acting career and idol life while being locked up in the studio and movie sets without fans mobbing him and following him everywhere. If it wasn't for Hongki we would never know that Ksoo started filming and making his album and blah blah. Yes Ksoo doesn't like talking much to the fans and he isn't the type of idols to share everything about his life and everything he does.. with his fans. As he does his job as a real job and he enjoys it. I sometimes doubt that ksoo is the one writing in bubble 💭 except for the song recommandations maybe. 🤔

If he wanted he would have sent y'all pics of himself in Bubble like how all the members do but HE DOESN'T WANT TO 💁🏻‍♀️ Now go blame SM on that too.

I was always told that Ksoo said he wished he was a professional actor and singer but to not be famous! He said he wishes to be known for his talents and to do his job that he loves so much but to not famous at the same time 😂 which is impossible btw. He said he hates fame. He wishes he could do the job he loves so much but without the whole interacting and fame and spotlights part of it. I was told that. Since very long ago and I was sad at first to hear that. But after seeing Kyungsoo enjoying his privacy and not being mobbed and respected by his fans, I was extremely happy. Heck you can rarely hear anything about him or see any pics of him from his fans coz they keep everything to themselves coz I was told that that's what Kyungsoo wants and they keep his life private and never share anything about him- I was so happy to see him do what he likes the way he likes it in complete privacy.

We rarely hear he was out with someone for a meal but when we do, it's years after it happened 😂 or with no pics at all. Like how he met Zico and they were both at the studio maybe collaborating. But we didn't get any pics from his solo stans and Fansites not even Exol. Cuz they know he doesn't like it when things about him get exposed .

Like we rarely saw any pics of him outside not before military nor after. And this been happening for years now since debut (I mean the issue of rarely getting updates and pics about him in the streets or restaurants or hanging out with friends) wdym SM is putting him in the dungeon for once debut?? No! Sorry he was the most promoted member and the first one to start a solo career as an actor ONLY 2 years after his debut when he was still a rookie, he has always been the most promoted among all the members even before Jongdae and Baekhyun ! 🤷🏻‍♀️

To put it up in another way: Ksoo doesn't like working with sM anymore and all the members too as they're all now going to leave and not renew so they mostly accept few of the projects suggested to them to make profit from them and stay active in the lights in the mean time before they decide what to do later. So they will not risk taking big opportunities with big companies or shows and sign big-long term-contracts for a long period with big acting or variety companies coz they can't do much projects now in the name of SM since the contract is nearing its expiration, so as long as they r still labeled as SM ARTISTs and still under SM contract so SM would still take their fair share of the profits, So since their contract is nearing its end..they can't do big projects that require long period of time such as accepting deals for long term positions in a show such as "Official MCs" or "Fixed cast member in a show that would last for years" or to "sign with an acting company coz most of them have the bare minimum for a contract is 3 years i guess (idk i don't remember) or to sign with any company that obliges a long-term contract " etc.. coz SM would still take their profit even after they leave as the contract was signed with those companies when Exo's contract with sm was still on. And that's the last thing they want.. is after leaving your shitty company, they would still take profits from you.

Also most companies don't suggest you big and long term projects when your contract with your company is nearing its end! That's why most if the members now are jobless only getting few short-termed projects, Coz these companies are not only working with the idol BUT they're working with their company as well. As it's the one who decides most of the the idols opportunies and decisions and does everything for them.

So if you don't like the truth and don't like to hear things that don't go along with your fantasies about your Oppa then that's not my problem 🤷🏻‍♀️ Go Fix it .

And I hope you won't drop Ksoo after discovering something about him that you didn't like to admit he has 💁🏻‍♀️ he doesn't like yall to know things about him and he doesn't like interacting with his fans that much through social media. He has a private IG and if he wanted to talk to y'all he would have made a public one but he doesn't 🤷🏻‍♀️ just like Jongdae! And they are free and we should respect their decision! Jongdae Chose his private life over fans and trust me he is so happy with his wife and daughter and i saw them with my own eyes. He is enjoying his privacy and he is caring less about what haters are saying or if fans are disappointed.

You should get used from now on to the feeling that your bias doesn't want your nose always in his life and doesn't always want you to know everything about him and doesn't want to show himself up in programs and projects he doesn't want to do just COZ YOU WANT TO SEE HIM THERE. Also Make it in your heads that your bias private life and his close people are 1000 better than being with you all the time and satisfying your requests and fantasies💁🏻‍♀️

Respect and understand that your idol doesn't always want you to know everything about them and if your Oppa likes to be introvert and private you should respect that ! instead of complaining 25/8 on Bubble and twitter and IG about wanting to see him.

Be like Korean Exol they see Ksoo they meet him all the time they photograph him yet they never share anything or if they do it's after a long time, just coz they respect him and they know how private he is and how he hates his info and pics of him enjoying his day being exposed all over the internet. That's why we rarely get updates about Ksoo from OPs. And even if you beg them to buy his pics and updates they won't give u anything. That's why sasaengs always say they can't get anything about ksoo coz it's very hard as he is a very private person and his info are the hardest and most expensive to get.

Remember in the first half of 2019? When he disappeared for 6 months straight and never updated one word about himself and we were so worried and though he was leaving? He didn't even come out to deny the departure rumors it was SM who did, instead when we were all scares he was leaving and we haven't heard anything of him and were dying of concern, he was enjoying his cooking courses and applying for military and preparing for his position as a chef in military and going on vacation with his friends and squads and lover and chanyeol and you didn't know anything about him, you didn't hear one word from him! (Except for the pics with chanyeol at the airport and just coz chan was there if he wants tI doubt we would have got pics of ksoo at the airport leaving to japan) And he went straight to military after that with no update nor a goodbye Party nor anything! Just a plain letter in which he said he will enlist and after that he disappeared for 3 years (6 months before military and 1 year and a half of military and 7 months after discharge💁🏻‍♀️) Heck He even went and told the member that he will enlist without hesitation coz he is like that and members said they were shocked when he came and said he is enlisting all of a sudden like he just told them he was going to play football or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ He didn't want to make a goodbye party for his enlistment like how XIUMIN did, and why again? for the same goddam reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ don't you ask yourself why we rarely get any news about him 🤔 it's COZ HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. 😂

After his discharge we heard he went along with Park shinhye and his Hyung actors squad to play golf together right after his discharge (in January 25th) , in February but we got no pics 💁🏻‍♀️ Why? Same reason🤷🏻‍♀️ everyone in korea knows Ksoo doesn't like coming out of the closet and expose himself to the public and interact with FANS and haters and obsessed fans and sasaengs.

KSOO WAS TRAUMATIZED BY FANS and SASAENGS AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID TO HIM AND WHAT HE SUFFERED YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND HIS LACK OF INTERACTION WITH FANS and you WOULD GIVE HIM EXCUSE. HE CAN'T HELP IT! He tried so hard to get over this issue but couldn't. HE LOVES HIS FANS BUT HE CAN'T INTERACT WITH THEM PROPERLY AND HE APOLOGIZED ABOUT THAT A LOT! So please understand him.

Sometimes it's not always the company sometimes it's the idol himself who wants some SPACE. Maybe A LOT of space 😂 in Ksoo's case.

I'm not making excuses for the sabotage and Mistreatment, I'm showing you the Kyungsoo that you probably don't know.

We can't judge SM mistreatment to him now as he is not active now, but once his album is dropped that's when we would see and we could judge if they treat him well or not. And i hope his album would get all the promotions his talents deserve.

[nem0-kn0ws-n0t]

Hello! Just a little fic i wrote for an April Fools event a while back! HCBBS and Cleo themed <3 Also on ao3 if yall prefer that way! I'd love to hear y'alls opinions!~

“ZombieCleo~.”

Dark eyes looked up from her small notebook of ideas as the figure landed next to her. She quirked an eyebrow, a small smile teasingly on her lips.

“Keralis~” She shot back with the same tone, standing up from her hooded bench to stand next to the wide-eyed brunet. They held each other’s stare for a bit, expressions frozen in a silent eye contest. Of course, it ended when a gust of wind ruffled the palm tree above their head, letting a single leaf float down and land on Keralis’s nose. His eyes widened even bigger (somehow) before he let out a powerful sneeze, sending the leaf flying into the air and the two of them into a fit of giggles.

Soon enough, Keralis is pulling her around his-her base. Her's now; she reminded him, they swapped them. Keralis pretended to sob at the comments, only pulling out more cackles from her.

Yes, she muses while watching her friend sulk in her new diamond office; this will be great.

~~

The transition was delicate, all things considered. Cleo loved her new base, from the skyscrapers that disappeared in the clouds to the bank tellers to the palm trees. The city was a magnificent piece of modern architecture, and Keralis had done a fantastic job building it from scratch.

It was, however, empty.

Not a single soul in the streets, milling around. No children on the benches or clerks in the stores or anything, really. But that’s alright. Bringing life to a place is Cleo’s bread and butter, after all. A simple spin of parts and spells read off a book, and suddenly life-like beings were created.

It made the otherwise deserted place feel more lively, more homely even. And so she threw herself into her work, creating human-like mirages in every spot she could. It worked, to a degree. The city was much more lively than before, the sound of humanity milling around comforting.

(She does wonder, sometimes, while laying in bed at night, unable to sleep, why it didn’t feel quite at home. Staring at the cyberpunk lights flicker in batches of three, she wonders why, exactly, the uncomfortable feeling she got when she first arrived is still there.

As sleep washes over her finally, she wonders mildly why all the lights in this place flash at the same time, in the same continuous pattern.)

~~

She got her answer eventually.

Many things were off-putting, to say the least, and so for a while before. If she’s honest with herself, she might have dismissed too many hints. But now, there’s no way to deny it.

Strange things were happening in Keralis’s City.

Every light in the city pulsing in beats of three were off-putting, to say the least, but Cleo squared her back and ignored them, dismissing it as lousy Redstone work.

The noise from her office ceiling that she could never quite identify or fix? She was just tired from planning out statues all day.

The constant feeling of eyes on her back was simply her imagination, just nerves to being in such a prominent unfamiliar place.

This, however? No dismissing it.

Cleo took great care in making realistic statues. She spent hours, sometimes days, making perfectly realistic mirages. She programmed every part of them to be fluid and human-like, scripting hand-picked lines and emotions. Her work was high quality because she poured a bit of what’s left of her heart into every scene.

This was not how she left them last time.

The mirage in front of her, a small lost child, was not confused nor scared nor any of the emotions Cleo had programmed into his behaviour. No, the child was staring at her with beady eyes, the brightest grin on his lips.

There was something off-putting in the smile, almost like his teeth weren’t supposed to be there. Too long for a child this age, too sharp, too white. The eyes were following her as she moved around, boring into her skull.

It would have been one thing if only one of the mirages was like this, maybe a prank or something.

No, every single statue had the same blank look on its face. From the bus drivers to the people loitering in the streets, they all had the same empty smile and teary eyes, following her as she walked down the streets. Well, more like ran, like a bat out of hell, trying to forget the stares on her back.

She finally took refuge in the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Hotel, ducking into a random floor, slumping against the walls.

What was that? What was that?

Reprogramming all those statues would have taken so long; she can’t fathom a single hermit having done that overnight.

Her breathing is hard, and she’s almost worried her lungs will detach themselves again, and so she shoves her head between her knees and starts counting slowly.

One, two, three, breath in, breath out.

It’s fine, it’s alright, it’s a nasty prank, that’s all.

Three, two, one, breath in, Breath out.

She can fix it; she’ll spend the next day reprogramming the mirages; it’s alright, she’ll find who did this, and she’ll give them the fear of a lifetime. It’s going to be okay.

With that final thought, she shakily got up, pulling her legs under her and using the wall as support.

She can fix this; she doesn’t have to deal with those expressions anymore. It’ll be fine.

When she finally manages to convince herself to go back outside into the populated streets, she almost falls over again.

The mirages were back to normal. The small child that started this whole mess was back to crying in a corner. The pedestrians were amicably chatting as they walked down the road. Even the store clerks were back to haggling with the shoppers.

Everything was exactly how it was before, no traces of soulless eyes and too sharp smiles.

But Cleo knows she saw them. She did not make that up; the foreboding sense of dread creeping up her spine reassured her of that. She stands, taken aback at the scene she made.

What’s going on?

(She thinks distinctively, maybe she doesn’t want to know, really.)

~~

It all snowballed from there.

Almost as if encouraged by her reaction, the changes were more significant and more daring.

She woke up one morning from a restless sleep to the sight of her home flipped around. It took her a while to realize, smacking into doors that weren’t usually there. Everything was exactly how it was, from the paintings to the flower pots, but simply mirrored on its axis. She could barely believe it, making a note to sleep somewhere else from now.

Another time, she was peacefully strolling around the city, planning out where to add more mirages to make her new home even more to her image, only to be stopped dead in her tracks by a pungent smell. A smell she knows intimately, and it didn’t take long for her to identify where the rot came from.

The bright wheat fields which Keralis had spent hours tediously working on and growing, was nothing but rotten stems left. Not a single trace of life left on those lands, not in the plants, nor the weeds, nor in the rats Cleo knows like to nibble on stalks. Faced with such destruction, she did the only thing she knew how to do and started plucking out the plants.

Cleo’s not one to scare easily, no. She simply rolls up her sleeves and fixes every problem she faces, from fields to buildings to armour stands.

What else is there to do?

~~

The final straw came faster than she expected. Cleo’s seen many things in her post-life after all, and there’s not much that spooks her anymore.

This, however, this, however, was too much.

She’s working in her office when it starts. There are some masks in front of her, half-formed and half painted. The simple repetitive movement is almost comforting in the face of everything that’s going on. A meditative moment, if you wish.

At least, it’d be peaceful if not for the shrill sound reaching her ears.

She pauses, paintbrush freezing mid-stroke, focusing on the sound. The silence that follows is palatable, and if she’d had a heart left, it’d be thundering in her ears.

And then it sounds again.

Is, is that a baby screaming?

It’s akin to an animal’s yowling, but the sound bounces of the diamond ceiling in a demonic way. It’s too long to be of an animal with lengthy, and it’s echoing in a way it shouldn’t be able to in the open-plan office, and it’s freaking Cleo out.

She takes a deep breath, slowly resting the paintbrush and the mask on the table before getting out of her chair, breath shallow. Infinitely slowly, she creeps out of the office, turning around to where the little grass roof rests. It sounds like it came from it from there; maybe she could-

It screeched again. This time, not from the bushes, no from her office, where she just was. Actually, it sounds like it came from behind her desktop chair. Where she just was.

Her back hits the white concrete in fear, a single hand clutching where her heart would be in leftover habits from a life gone by.

“It’s nothing; it’s your imagination,” she mutters to herself, too scared to try and pretend she doesn’t talk to herself. “It’s impossible, whatever it is, it can’t move that fa-”

It screeches again. This time, from right behind her, right on the other side of the wall, and right there and then, Cleo decides enough is enough.

Fear fuels her movement as she slips her elytra over her shoulders, grabs some rockets and flies away from this hellish city. Base Exchange be damned, she’s done with this place, and she wants to go home.

(And as she flies away, she overlooks the shadowy forms flickering in the skyline.

And as the zombie leaves, the city falls back into quiet, save for the light cackling of its true owners.

And as the cat leaves with her tail between her legs, the mice come back out to play.)

[sugarcookiesandsins]

Charmed [Episode 6]

➰ ot7 x reader, poly!bts x reader, mafia!bts ➰ they wouldn’t notice her until she was standing above them, a smoking gun in her hand a bullet in their heart 🌡 M   🛑  details about weaponry and similar materials, dark humor, swearing, mentions of violence 🕛  4.k+

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Following your explanation, the boys sat in silence as each of them took in the various blueprints and notes spread out before them. Processing it took them some time, and Eli took the opportunity to soothe his dry throat with the remnants of his drink.

“It’s complicated, to say the least.” Namjoon’s voice was distant as his mind wasn’t all that focused on the words coming out of his mouth.

Yoongi only snorted in response, but it was more of a reaction that he had given for the duration of the discussion so Eli considered it a win all in all and looked to the other members for their reactions. Seeing nothing else of note in their eyes, he reached for the papers to clean them up, planning on returning to his room and cleaning up, before going out for supplies. Sure, Hoseok or Jimin could probably hook them up with all that they needed but call it a con’s intuition for wanting to check out the equipment themselves.

Grabbing hold of the documents, he rifled through them and aligned the corners as he always did before getting up.

“I’m headed out for some of the basic equipment so yall can break it in before D-day.” Not waiting for an answer, he headed back to his designated room, barely sparing a minute to toss the papers onto his desk before heading to the bathroom. 

With the door locked and the hot water soothing your muscles, you had some time to yourself to think. Your relationship with the rest of the boys could be simmered down to two words: grudging acceptance. Neither side was about drop their pride and invite the other out to dinner, but at least Jungkook wasn’t lunging for your throat every time he laid eyes on you.

The heist was risky, and would take some real trust and teamwork, and “grudging acceptance” wasn’t exactly the best relationship to have with the people you would be trusting with your life while completing the mission. You still were damn sure that they wouldn’t hesitate to leave you behind if they needed to; their relationship was one where they looked out for each other and solid walls were drawn against those who weren’t inside when those walls were built.

In a way, you understood. Though you didn’t have the exact details, it was obvious they went through some trauma together, one that bound them together by something greater than blood ties or brotherhood. You were the same way; the only difference was that you were alone when you built those walls and they had each other.

Shutting off the water, you stepped out into the foggy bathroom, the heat blushing your skin red. The mirror was fogged up, and the metaphor almost made you snort. It seemed that even the world was trying to tell you that within all the personas and costumes, you had lost sight of your true self, even as it stood within reach, blurry but there.

The skin on your chest was red and irritated, most likely from the bandages you used to keep your secret. You needed to spend a night away from them, if only so you could let your skin breathe.

Getting your costume back on, you waltzed out of your bedroom towards the living room, most of the boys had disappeared, but Jimin was still where you had left him, albeit in clothes more appropriate for your shopping trip. In a way, you expected Hoseok to be there as well, but Jimin oversaw their equipment.

“Do you know the weights and heights of everyone,” Eli casually asked as he thumbed through a small journal filled with more of his chicken scratch trying to find the specific page he wanted.

“Don’t tell me you’re interested in us,” Jimin scoffed obviously getting the wrong impression from Eli’s words.

“Interested in keeping you all alive yeah.” Eli turned his back on the still lounging Jimin, who had somehow managed to get even more attractive as he leaned back invitingly on their soft couch. “Don’t fool yourself shorty. I doubt you have anything that would make me want to chase after you.”

Making his way to the foyer of the apartment, he didn’t even look back to see if Jimin was following him before he slipped out and towards the elevators.

The ride down was silent once Jimin joined him, each absorbed in their own devices to pass the time. Upon exiting the tall high-rise building, Eli was none too surprised at the sleek black SUV waiting for them. They needed to buy a lot of equipment and they would need a large car to hold it all.

While in the car, both still maintained the strict silence that they had started in the elevator. Eli’s eyes were focused on the passing scenery, letting out tiny grins at the snapshots of daily life he saw beyond the tinted glass windows. They were all so oblivious to the harsh realities of the world and even if they did know, their brains would probably cut out the information deeming it too harmful to remember. 

PJM

He seemed utterly uninterested in anything other than the mission. It really was odd to see how quickly his attitude adjusted when he explained the plan to us this morning. Not once did he let out his signature smile, all teeth and stupidity. It was long, complicated, and required a lot more trust than I felt anyone was willing to give him at this point in whatever relationship was forming between us.

Going out with him was most definitely not my choice, but Namjoon had insisted on it because apparently it was obvious that I was the one with the most prejudices against our new add-on. We all knew it was a blatant lie, but Jungkook had no qualifications to go shopping therefore here I am.

The car is surprisingly silent, and looking over at Eli, he’s focused on the outside world. There was longing in a sense, something we all felt from time to time; we wonder and dream of our lives with intact families and normality.

The car stops in front of a hotel, conspicuous and in the center of town; it’s perfect. Getting down, it’s no surprise that we make an impression on the surrounding people. Jimin’s face is common on the news channels and everyone knows the people he associates with, so everyone gives us a wide berth as we enter the hotel.

Walking to the front desk, the person manning the fort gives us the biggest customer service smile that I have ever seen. Jimin merely nods back before handing over a medallion and asking for, “Room 113 please” with the most conversational tone.

“Forgive me sir, but our staff is still cleaning the room for you. Please feel free to wait in our lobby and I will call you when the room is prepared.” When you enter this line of work, you should always be prepared to deal with word games and subliminal messaging. We both understood what his words meant, there was already someone shopping so we could not go in.

Most places like this did not worry about anonymity between guests, hoping that it would work as sort of a motivation to not betray the location; if someone got captured then they could name everyone else that they saw. It was more commonly seen in stores that had not gotten a footing in the black world of crime. Yet, the truly powerful locations did not need to rely on such childish motivations as that.

Jimin and I made our way to the couches a couple feet away from the receptionist. The world continued to move on around us. Initially, some were focused on our identities, but as they each needed to be somewhere else, we were left alone in the middle of the lobby. The hotel itself seemed to be the playground of the higher class based on all the brand names glittering around me and the large entourages that revolve around a single person.

In a way, that life seemed bland to me. What fun was there to have everything handed to you, sure it was novel for a little while but then it would lose it’s charm. Inherently, people get bored which is why you see celebrities always doing.

It wasn’t long before the receptionist approached us from behind the desk and informed us that they were ready for us. He motions us to follow him and we do.

The receptionist returns to behind the desk and programs a reader card to let us into our requested room. He faces us again and hands that card over with that same sickeningly bright smile. “I hope everything is to your standards.” He knows, though I do not know why I ever doubted it for a second.

Jimin nods and I follow his example of silence as he leads me down a hallway and to our room. Unlocking it with the given card, he lets me inside before shutting and locking the door behind us both. The space is small and not a room at all; it was an elevator.

Surveillance was full force as someone welcomed us to the store and instructed us not to touch anything as the decent began on its own. By my estimate, the level that we stopped at was one below the basement. The doors opened before us and we walked into a well-lit room, almost as big as a proper ballroom. Certainly, not as high but just a big in width and length. The rich vibe continued down here as well with the red walls and gold trimming on the walls and on the cabinets filled to the brim with guns and other equipment.

At the far end of the room, a man in a fitted suit stood relaxed in his posture. Not single strand of hair or muscle moved out of place as we approached him. “Welcome. Please take a look around at your leisure and feel free to ask any questions. We are here to assist.”  

Jimin jets off towards the far end of the room, firmly in the directions of some automatic handgun; they suited him. I had initially pegged him at a knife person, but then again he wanted efficiency more than any perceived bloodlust so I relented on my initial judgement. His steps were quick, barely holding on to the perception of calm, but he was like a child in a candy shop, no doubts about it.

Letting him satisfy his own curiosity, I turned to the tactical gear. I would worry about the boys later, getting their measurements from Jimin now would be impossible when he seems much more interested in the custom grips on an Italian classic.

Shopping for harnesses was ironically reminiscent to shopping for clothes; they were all on gold hangers and organized by size and prices. The boys (read: Big Hit) were paying for all this anyways so I’d take advantage of that; only I knew what was really needed for this.

Shifting through them all, I decided on one with multiple points of weight distribution that had multiple clip combinations so one could vary their support based on their preference or on the limits of rope. As I was looking, I felt a presence on my 6 or 7 o’clock; it was either Jimin or the attendant.

“Is this what you wanted the body measurements for?” Jimin.

“No,” I scoffed. “I needed that information to plant fake bodies when we all fail this and need to get the heck out of dodge.”

“The confidence you have in us is astounding.” He didn’t waste time is coming back for me with the same amount of sarcasm.

“I have as much confidence in you as I do in my own survival with the group of you.” Snatching the paper with the written measurements out of his hand, I didn’t bother to head his response as I pulled out different sizes of the same harness. They would cost a pretty penny, but you weren’t footing the bill.

“Take these to the table.” I was already searching for the ropes; something strong preferably suspension or paracord, but mountaineering might work.

“Do it yourself.”

“Like you know what we need for this. Just do what I ask and maybe my confidence that we’ll survive this increase by a tenth of a percent.”

“You’re difficult.”

“But I’m good and that’s what you really need right now isn’t it? Now go.”

Deciding on some dark colored SWAT rappelling rope in 200 feet lengths. It was double braided and would be more than enough to carry our weights at 9mm in diameter. However, ti was a hefty weight, but I’d leave that to the boys. Additionally, I picked up some paracord, just in the case of an emergency lashing or situation.

Next, some infrared googles. They were also a hefty price, but trusting the boys to already have their own, I waited until Jimin returned from his second trip from the far table to confirm. Given a OK, I think he had given up on arguing with me for the sake of it, I picked out some durable ones with a heat sensor attachment.

Last in terms of tacticals, would be body suits. These would go under our regular clothes, additional protection and heat without the bulk. Of course, some bullet proof clothes would be going on top, but still a good base is always necessary.

Now to the fun part, weapons.

Jimin had already beat me to it, having laid out some stuff that he wanted for himself or that he got at the request of the other boys. A computer chip, most likely for Yoongi, catches my eye. Having a computer for research and planning would be so much easier than having to piece together scraps of paper.

Grabbing a sleek laptop off the shelf, I added it to the ever-growing pile of supplies on the table under the raised eyebrow of Jimin. He reaches for it, but I smack his hand away and firmly state that “I like doing these things myself.” I hear no further argument.

Then comes the guns. Semi-automatics have a soft spot it my heart so I grab an all-American Hollywood classic, twin Desert Eagles, metal caps, and a spool of wrapping leather; custom grip can only be truly custom when you make them yourself. Snagging some holsters, I argue mentally between thighs and sides, before just getting both; no point wasting time. Then for knifes, I grab a classic butterfly, before grabbing some more practical Damascus hunting daggers that were lightweight so they could be thrown as well.

Nodding at Jimin, I let him take care of the payment as I continued to explore the room for anything else that we might like. Closer to the door, I see a locked cabinet with oddities that most would not look twice at; they sell information. A couple flash drives being bid off, probably filled with some military programs or governmental passwords. I wouldn’t put it pas them to have one or two automatic Trojans with a logic puzzle for those dolts that didn’t know how to use a computer. Then on the far side, something unexpected.

“They say that’s a charm from the Banshee herself.” Jimin, seemingly done with the purchase, came over towards the elevator as the store took care of sending our goods topside.

“The Banshee?” This was one I hadn’t heard before.

“Yeah. She’s an assassin with some sort of moral code apparently when she kills. And she takes or makes charms from each kill to remember them. Morbid, but then again anyone who’s that good ought to have a few screws lose to not go crazy.” He wasn’t wrong.

Even Master had told me it was odd when he saw the charms, but he got used to it. The box of filled bracelets I left with Master, the only thing of personal value that I really owned anymore so my wrists were naked and empty. Yet, the feeling never hit me until now, when I saw the only charm I ever lost (a round mosaic for a contemporary artist who also profited from fakes) for sale. The Banshee name had power and with power comes profit; the betting for the charm already past the million mark.  

“Don’t think to hard. You won’t ever meet her.” Jimin laughed, the kind that came from his belly and was not held back by propriety.

“And you have?” It was a good enough act, lovestruck youngster falling for a power girl he had never even met before.

“Nope. But I want to. Her story sounds interesting enough.” That was the most uncharacteristic thing I had ever heard come out of his mouth.

“Her story,” I snickered, my face trying very hard not to mock him with its expression. “A mafioso and an assassin on a coffee date. That sounds more like the first line of a joke.”

He didn’t respond, but looking back as he pushed me towards the elevator told me he was thinking. The cogs were turning either to make up a lie or to figure out how to put it in words.

“I want to know what made her this way. She is truly someone that does not care, and something must have happened to make her that way.” His voice was quiet and rippling under the surface I could hear some semblance of emotions from him. It was a change, and I let him talk. “Even you can agree with this; we didn’t just wake up one day and decided we wanted to be like this. We went through the ringer and decided that we never wanted to be that low ever again, so we went for the heights.”

“We braved the cliffs and grew wings.” Simple words, but with more meaning that even a full paragraph could hold. He simply nodded in response and the rest of the ride up was silent, each lost in our pasts.

The ride back to the apartment was no different, except for the back piled with our new supplies. Quiet and heavy, not even the driver disturbed us in our thoughts.

The boys were waiting for us when we went upstairs, all cleaned up and hair coiffed to perfection.

“How was it?” Namjoon, objective as ever wanting to make sure the boys hadn’t lost their biggest weapons source because the two of us butting heads.

“Uneventful.” Me, as I turned to the boxes.

“Normal.” Jimin, as he joined the boys on the couch.

“Did you bring us presents?” Taehyung, relaxed as always, stretching his legs on the coffee table as he watched me organize.

I put everything that I had bought for myself in one box, including my harness, a loop of SWAT rope, the extra paracord, and the body suit. The rest was laid out on the floor next to the boxes that Jimin had already organized the others’ stuff into, most likely at the store itself.  

“I bought all of you harnesses and new rope. I suggest getting used to wearing them around and working with the additional weight so break them in to your own comfort.”

Jungkook scoffed, “We have our own already.”

“Of course, you do. But do they have at least a 5-point weight distribution and at lest 10 hold holds for various roping combinations?”

He stayed silent.

“No? Then I suggest you break in the one I got for you or I won’t be responsible for you screwing this up for the rest of them. I didn’t bother holding back with him. Jungkook had started to get on my nerves. I was starting to get the feeling that no matter what I did, I would never get on his good side. I had reached a conclusion; it wasn’t me personally he hated, it was the idea of me; all fun and games when matched with his cold perfectionism. He thought I was stupid and infuriating, I thought the same of him; it worked out.

Walking back to my own room, I could practically hear Namjoon trying to figure out a plan to get me and Jungkook back on better terms. But that would have to wait for another day; I needed to get my stuff together.

Making it back to the relative haven of my room, I unpack and start customizing. First was the guns, taking the leather, I cover both handles in a primitive but more familiar imitation of custom grips, adding in the end the metal cap at the bottom of the grip because if you can’t shoot, you can at least swing. Sure, it does mess with the balance of the gun but you get used to it after a couple years of practice. Next, comes the computer. Booting up, I have never been more thankful for technology and resolve to ask someone to scan the document to upload, but after spending a couple hours with Jimin, I am ready to be alone.

Then again, when does the plan of the universe ever work in my favor? Just as I put away the rest of the gear, keeping the harness out to break in after I relax, I hear a knock on my door.

“Can I come in?” Taehyung. Lovely.

“Sure.” I didn’t bother to try to contain my annoyance, but this was Taehyung we were talking about; he was selectively blind, and deaf for that matter, to the world around him. He heard me say that he could come in but he somehow didn’t hear my annoyance.

He waltzed right in and seated himself on my bed as turned around from my desk. Glancing out the window, I could see the first signs of the evening clouding over the brightness of the day, so it was no surprise that he was dressed to go to work. Silk shirt unbuttoned just enough for anyone watching to get a peak of tanned skin tucked into tight denim. A lone silver chain hanging around his neck and thin rings of the same material making his fingers seem longer than you have ever thought was humanly possible.

Once again, he lounged. Looking back, you have never seen him as anything other than relaxed, except for that one time when you technically broke in so context matter with him. He didn’t even bother taking of his leather shoes which made you scowl.

“Any particular reason you’re hear or is it just to grind my gears?”

“Both, but mostly I have a question for you to answer for me.” He reached for his pocket and pulled out a swatch of white fabric that almost made my heart strop.

“A bandage? You want me to wrap something for you?” I didn’t let it bother me. The bandages I wore were a dime a dozen and he could have gotten it from any mom and pop medical store along the road.

“No I was wondering why you had these. If you’re hurt, that’s not good for any of us see?” Sitting up, he kept waving that bandage in front of me, taunting me like he knew all my secrets, but he didn’t.

“You went through my stuff?” Sighing, I relented. “Should have expect nothing less from a sneak thief. They are bandages for emergencies. I don’t trust for a second that Jungkook still doesn’t want to put a bullet between my eyes.”

“True. You and Jungkook really don’t get along. Though that is to be expected when the both of you have different ways of surviving.” Taehyung was smarter than you, and probably anyone else, gave him credit for. His mouth was working to distract while his eyes watched and learned from the people around him.

I didn’t respond, but I didn’t need to. Even Taehyung seemed to sense that our conversation was over as he left my room with some important parting word. “The most dangerous liars are the ones who give themselves to the lies, body, soul and heart.”

[robotic-traveling-circus]

Story Fragment - Promise

It was inevitable. There was no reason for the body to continue thus it shut itself down. The emotions that used to vibrate and dance within Bellamy’s being slipped out of existence.

And it broke their hearts.

Fredrick sat before them, his paws hovering over the open cavity of Bellamy’s chest. “Bunny Bell.” He whispered, voice dipping low in a sorrowful tone. This was wrong. It was horrifically wrong.

When the day came that they were distorted and locked in, Bellamy was their optimistic companion. Even when the magnets were torn from their face, they were still able to express themselves happily. He remembers the way Bellamy spoke of new beginnings, that the humans needed a break from the circus but they wouldn’t be forgotten.

That was four years ago. Four years of being unable to help their partner as he drifted away.

It began the day Bellamy did not react to Redd’s pestering like he used to.

“You’re hair is so dumb. It’s like you got a tail on your head. You’re a butt head!” Bellamy declared on several occasions.

“At least me ‘ead isn’t bald!” Redd would snap back with a snarl.

“Better bold than being a butt head.” The teasing would continue and insults would turn from childish to creative.

But the last insult Redd ever threw to Bellamy was, “‘Ey seat face! Why are you walkin’ so prem and prahper? Are you a stoeck oep poodle?”

It took a moment for the words to register, probably analyzing Redd’s accent. “Is the way I walk troublesome? If so, how would you suggest I modify my walk?” The words lacked Bellamy’s childish nature. There was no comeback or further insults.

“..why are you talkin like dat? Ded you 'it yooehr 'ead ahr sahmethin?” Redd took a step closer to examine his partner. They did not appear visually different since they had gotten locked in.

There was another processing period before Bellamy said, “If you have no suggestions for my improvement, I will ask my superiors for readjustment.”

It was the default language. The sentences and phrases they were given through programming rather than personality.

“Bellamy, are you feelin ahkay? I can stahp if you're naht feelin well.” The playful act was dropped. Instead, the rabbit’s actions created concern that fell on massively deaf ears.

“My apologies. I will go and rest.” It was simple and dull. Nothing any of the three were used to.

Yet, after a short period of rest, Bellamy was his usual self. He acted as though he had no memory of the interaction; perhaps that was true.

Another moment that was considered odd was during a game of Clown Mash. They would get a piece of paper and draw a body part before passing it along to the next person. Anyone who played with Bellamy received pretty horrific looking characters. They were not gorey but they definitely fell into the realm of body horror.

However, today’s character looked obscenely normal. There wasn't a clutter of additional limbs or eyes far too large for one’s head. There weren't obnoxious neon colors or glitter. They were normal and legitimate.

Even Sprinkles took offense to the dull creation. “What’s this? Is yawl messin’ with me?” She crossed her wings and gave Bellamy the look.

Yet, they hardly reacted under her gaze. “I am playing according to the rules. Have I misunderstood?”

“The rules?” She squawked, “ Yawl nevur play by the rules! Whut the heck is yawl on ‘bout?” Her feathers stood tall, and the gaze only worsened.

Yet again, Bellamy was unbothered. “Are the rules of the game to break the rules? I am afraid I do not understand your predicament, miss.”

Miss. When they called her miss, the trio suddenly had to deal with a puffed up chicken clucking words that were obviously against programming. At least, they were originally.

The next time there was a notable issue was when Bellamy sat Fredrick down to talk. The other two had been in rest mode, allowing them a momentary privacy.

“Fredrick! Did you miss me? I know you miss our little chats.” Bellamy grins as much as they could without a face. “But I’ll be frank, my head has been screaming. I feel like I’m vanishing. It’s terrible!”

Despite the serious nature of the conversation, it eased Fredrick to interact with a Bellamy that sounded like himself. “Would this happen to have anything to do with how you have been acting?”

Any cheerful energy from the bunny was dropped. “Freddy. I don’t think Imma last.” He raised his single hand to hold one of his partner’s paws. “I haven’t felt this way in like, forever. Everything feels frazzled, and I know you’re afraid. You are all afraid.”

It caused the bear to frown, “We have noticed several changes in your behavior, but you always bounce back. It is concerning; do you remember what happened?”

His ears drooped, further than they already were. “Yeah. I rather forget! But boo hoo me, I can’t make the memories go away and now I feel like scrap.” They shook their head, refocusing themself. “Right. Get to the point, Bellamy!”

Fredrick watched his partner fumble with themself, and gently squeezed his paw. He hoped to provide reassurance. “It is okay, Bell. You can take your time when talking to me.”

He received silence for a while, having watched Bellamy pull themselves together. “It’s like whatever makes me, me, is vanishing. I’m getting tired and my head is screaming. I have to fight with myself! Can’t always say the words I want to. Can’t do the fun stuff that I want to do. It is like...like being torn apart.” They paused momentarily, head casted away from Fredrick. “But I know you are afraid. You won’t want me to go. You believed in my hope, my lies! And now I got yall livin’ a fantasy!”

Emotionally, the bunny broke down, allowing himself to be pulled into a hug and wither against his partner. “I-I’m sorry Freddy. It was unacceptable for me to drag you into my false hopes. I just wanted to be funny - to be cheerful - to be someone y’all could look to when ya needed a lift.” Their body shuddered, “but Imma fool. I steal faces and now I cannot even steal my own! All my functions are becoming pointless.”

There was a long pause, and the bear was about to speak when he heard Bellamy mumble, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry… I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” His voice repeated like a broken record.

“There is nothing to apologize for, Bell.” Fredrick says softly, pressing his nuzzle to the top of his bunny’s head. “You have been through a lot, possibly more than the rest of us. You deserve moments of vulnerability.

“Additionally, your hope is not false. If you believe in it, then I do too. I think, if my parents were here, they would promote and encourage your hope. It is a wonderful quality to have.” He carefully adjusts their position before having Bellamy lift his head. “You are not pointless, Bellamy. We love you. I love you. Your worth is not limited to your ability to perform tasks, we love you for who you are and who you have grown to be. And, in the event that you lose yourself, I assure you that we will still love you.”

“H-how can you love someone without any emotion?”

“Do you believe that is what it is coming to?” Bellamy nods in response to Fredrick’s question. “Then I believe it is an error. We may have emotions, but we have programming that can get damaged or corrupt. I will look into it. We will find a solution.”

“Even if I’m lost by them?”

“Especially if you are lost by then. We save our memories, I am positive there will always be a way to get you back. And, if we cannot, I am happy to start anew with you. We can create new memories.” He says, wanting to chase away any thoughts of despair.

“You..would go through the effort..of trying again?”

“Of course I would. I already told you. I, we, love you.” He rubs a thumb along what remains of Bell’s face. “We will do everything we possibly can. I promise.”

Bellamy offers a look of disbelief, and it was astonishing how expressive a faceless animatronics could be. But, Fredrick had to chase away the dark. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but -“

“No buts. Do you trust me, Bellamy?”

The bunny nods slightly, “Yeahh, I trust you. But a promise? How can ya promise something like that?”

“Because I have a good feeling. It may or may not take awhile, but I have a feeling this is fixable. Now, I will ask again. Do you, my silly Bunny Bell, trust me to figure this out?”

The other huffs a laugh in response, “Yeah. I trust ya, my cuddle teddy.”

“Perfect. And please, if you need to talk to us, any of us, do not be afraid. We are here for you.”

Another nod and Bellamy fixes themself to be in a comfortable cuddling position, using the bear’s chest as a pillow. “Can we rest now?”

“Of course. Hope you feel recharged in no time.” He cuddles Bell closer to him, wanting to protect him however he could. He wasn't a confrontational fellow, nor an outgoing one, but darn was he going to find a solution someday.

Someday.

That someday brought him to the present. His paws had just left his partner’s chest cavity. He was attempting to repair his silly bunny but it was not enough to restore them. Thus, Bellamy’s body shut down.

Without emotion there was no drive. And, without a drive, there was no purpose. The magnets that allowed Bellamy to wear his face or swap with others were torn out. There was no face to attempt to put back on because..the humans took it away. They did this on purpose, didn’t they? They broke Bellamy with no intention of fixing him.

They broke them. It made the situation worse because Bellamy believed the humans would come back for them.

Soon Fredrick broke down, a dreadful sorrow overtaking his voice. “Bunny Bell, B-bunny Bell, please. You cannot - we need you here. With us. Please turn back on.” Although he could not express tears the way a human does, he was certainly grieving the loss of his partner.

The bear’s paws finally moved from the open cavity to pull the functionless animatronic close to him. “I-I am sorry, Bunny-Bell. I - I will find a way to turn you back on, I promise. I swear, I promise.” He did not know what to do, but he’ll do anything.

Redd knelt down beside them, wrapping his arms around Fredrick. They were partners, the three of them. And it took the fox every ounce of his energy to not break down along with Fredrick.

It hurt. They weren’t supposed to feel pain but it hurt so bad. He had to helplessly watch one of his partners attempt to safe the other to no avail and it fucking hurt. “Fred, I - what do we do?” His ears were low, practically pressed into his body. “Can we really toehrn 'im back ahn?”

He felt torn. He didn’t want Fredrick to gain false hopes, but he didn’t want to dismiss this either.

“We - we have to get out of here… There has to..there has to be a way to repair him. Redd, he could have stayed with us for so much longer.” Fredrick clutches the bunny’s body harder. “I did..I did not try hard enough -they should have been functional, like us, and I - I promised.” He kept stuttering, his body struggling to adjust to their current happenings.

“Dahn't say shoeht stupid shet, mate. We all know you tried. You spahke to oehs abooeht it whenever you 'ad a new idea. You were doin yooehr best.” Redd offers, gently nudging against Fredrick and wrapping his tail around him. “I know you prahmised 'im boeht can we really fex 'im?”

“I want to think so. It’s..an issue with his face being gone, right? If - if we can get him a new face then maybe.” He pauses, “maybe we can at least get him functioning again.”

“So what? We can't ahpen de door. Dey are lahcked frahm de ooehtside. Sprinkles is naht 'elp, 'er beak is brahken. We can't fet throoehgh de wendows. What’s de plan?" Redd decides it was worth it to encourage Fredrick’s hope. If he promised Bellamy there was a solution to this, then Redd inherently made the same promise.

“I may have an idea.” Fredrick tries to compose himself, but would not let go of Bellamy. “You remember those outside voices?”

“The teenagers?” Sprinkles was quick to inquire.

“Yeah. They come by sometimes. I think they draw on the train? Regardless, maybe we can trick them into opening the door?” He offers the idea, lifting his head.

Redd could sense he was searching for some sort of confirmation. “Sooehnds trecky. Boeht I believe we can do it.”

Sprinkles seemed more reluctant on their success, but she caves. “Yeah, way can do it. Fahwar Bellamy.”

The combination of their support earns them a weak smile from their leader. “Do you hear that, Bunny Bell? We will get you out of here and fix you. We will not be afraid of the outside. I promised I would find a solution, and we will.”

“We love you, Bellamy.” Said both the bear and the fox at the same time.