#this is not a dig at you anon btw. it’s true that she’s played her cards so that the news are saturated by her endorsement atm

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

There was some poll done among swifties on voting and I can't find it now, because after miss americana pulled a stunt to fight off the backlash, news are drowning in it and it's hard to search for that poll, so idk how much exactly, but something between 10%-20% swifties said that they're gonna vote on whoever Swift endorses no matter what this candidate says or represents.

Oh yikes 💀 I’m not going to form any strong opinion unless I can actually find a reliable source on this, but the fact that it’s actually believable is… not good lmao

[dragongirltongue]

New Pinned post <3

Hi there, the name is Zelda, or one of like, 20 other names that may or may not be listed somewhere around here. If you know a name I go by that isn't findable here don't use it. <3

I'm bigender which is made up of girl and fem6oy, as such I use she/her and sometimes he/him pronouns when I'm feeling fem6oy enough <3

I'm in my 30s, not getting more specific than that until I decide it's not true enough to change it, don't try to find my exact age as I don't like sharing that information publicly, I don't even update it on my birthday <3

I'm a polyamorous bisexual voraphile freak and if you're over 18 you're welcome to talk to me about how much of a freak I am. I love to flirt and encourage it. Also happy to share my Other Blog with anyone interested, again as long as you're of age. <3

I'm a film graduate and currently working on doing something with that experience as well as working on a superhero comic and a 2D zelda style game. Feel free to bug me about any of those I love to discuss writing and media and want to encourage media literacy. <3

I'm also an ex-jehovahs witness and as a result I'm hugely into the holiday season in a very against my old god kinda way. Also big into sinning <3

Also I'm like, a dragon in probably an otherkin/thetadelta kinda way, like, it's core to who I am and how I understand myself so yeah. Despite this my fursona is a fox, the dragon in my icon is literally me <3

I also draw sometimes and when I do it'll be posted to @dragongirldrawings but always reblogged here too.

Also I'm a member of a plural system, feel free to check out the rest of the system over here @haven-sys <3

Further on the identity weirdness I'm an imaginary friend for the person who used to inhabit this body, they've been gone for like, over 20 years so it's not really relevant but I have started embracing my nature as a fictional creation, it's comforting.

Btw, if one of my posts containing my typing quirk ends up on your dash I take no responsibility for it. I use it in posts that are for me only and if they happen to resonate with others that's their choice to reblog.

I had intended to set tipping up on my blog for a while but adhd caused me to never get around to it sooo, homebrew tip button on my original posts. Feel free and outright encouraged to steal this idea <3

So yeah that's me, hiii I love you all <3

this post is specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

DNI list under the read more.

lmao imagine if I actually made one of those finally, that's how you'd know I've been replaced with an evil clone or something.

That being said if you're looking at my blog to send me an ask or dm about what someone gets off to please understand unless they're actively hurting someone I rly don't care. I have a lot of ignored and blocked anons about this.

This goes double if the person you're trying to alert me to is trans femme, we don't play that game here, especially given that I know I've been targetted for things as simple as engaging in vore the wrong way for some people or whatever.

Like, I just want to make it clear I rly don't give a fuck what another adult does in the bedroom, I rly don't care if the bedroom happens to include their blog and I rly don't care if they like to flirt about it with other adults on this website.

Also if your pinned post is a callout for anyone about anything it's likely to set off my paranoia around you, which is to say I will not be able to trust you if this is the case even if it's for someone who's actually a danger to a community, like, actively.

Like, this ain't a moral stance or anything, it's a mental health thing. I see that you want to make your first point of contact into a crosshair on someone else I'm gonna be scared you're gonna aim at me next even if it's completely reasonable that you'd never find anything objectionable with me. It scares me and I'm gonna spend every interaction walking on egg shells around you cos what if you're digging for dirt, like, I got no way of knowing.

Anyway as the opening joke implies I don't see any worth in having a list of things to not interact with me over cos the lived experience on this planet is so full of nuance and I've formed deem friendships with people who'd probably have avoided me if I had a DNI and they cared about it.

I think DNIs are dumb but this feels like a space to talk about some general limits on what I'm gonna put up with on this website. I'm just here for a good time with other freaks, anything else is optional. If you want to drag me into your discourse at this point then I guess this is whre I ask you to Do Not Interact. To anyone else, I love yall <3

If you've been directed here after sending an ask my way please apologize for wasting my time [here]

tl;dr DNIs are dumb but don't drag me into your personal grievances with others.

this post is still specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue [tip]

[sunstone-smiles]

Edelgard and Byleth for TT prompt 19 pls? Or 18 if 19 is unavailable :) love your stories btw!!

Hello anon! And thank you! I hope you enjoy Day 19 of Tickletober: Revenge!

Revenge for a Mercenary’s Accidental Prank

Series: Fire Emblem

Characters: Edelgard and Byleth

Words: 576

Summary: When Byleth thinks that accidentally getting dirt all over Edelgard is funny, the Emperor takes it upon herself to enact some playful revenge. Enjoy!

—

The wyverns growl while they play-fight with one another, swishing their tails back and forth across the sandy dirt. They lunge at one another with their big snouts, taking lighthearted chomps at each other’s necks as they wrestle back and forth. At the entrance of their fenced in pen, Byleth closes up the gate, now that they've finished up their duties involving the care of the scaled creatures. 

“Ahem,” an affirmative female voice suddenly clears her throat, causing Byleth to lift up their head to see the source of the interruption.

“Oh, Edelgard! I didn’t even see you there,” the mercenary responds to the current Adrestian Emperor. For some reason, Edelgard’s casual clothes are covered in dirt, like she just got hit by a sandstorm. “What happened to you?” Byleth wonders, “Why are you all dirty?”

I think you of all people should know the reason to that…” Edelgard grumbles with her arms crossed.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Edelgard rolls her eyes in annoyance. “Oh, you know very well what you did! With that little stunt you pulled with the wyverns. You wanted all of them to play, resulting in them flapping their wings at once, which caused dust to kick up in the pen.”

Byleth chuckles to themselves, “Oh yeah, that’s right.”

“How did you—Never mind,” Edelgard cuts herself off before going on an irritated tangent, “The point is, I was in range when all of the wyverns did that, leading to this.” She gestures towards her clothes infested with the grains of light dirt.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Byleth says with another chuckle.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny,” Byleth admits with an innocent smile.

Edelgard grumbles again, having enough of the mercenary’s shenanigans. “You want to play jokes? Fine, we’ll play jokes!”

And with that, Edelgard lunges at Byleth, aiming straight for the mercenary’s sides.

“Whoa! H-Hehehey!” Byleth breaks out into giggles when Edelgard starts tickling them. “Ehehedelgahahard!”

“Stop squirming! You're the one who wanted to play games! Now you get your revenge!” Edelgard digs her fingers further into the mercenary’s sides, purposefully trying to cause Byleth to lose their footing and fall into the dirt. The mercenary catches themself and squirms around in an attempt to shove Edelgard away, but the Emperor isn’t letting them get out of her hold that easily. 

“Ehehedelgard! Quihihiht it!” Byleth giggles while they continue to try and pull themselves away.

“I will not! You brought this upon yourself!”

It’s true that Byleth did prompt this silly revenge in the first place, but now they have to find a way to get out of it. With one swift movement, Byleth grabs Edelgard’s wrists and yanks her to the side, causing the Emperor to almost trip over in the process, then quickly steps behind her to scribble into her sides.

“Eep! Prohohohfessor!” Edelgard jolts backwards into Byleth’s hold before attempting to slingshot forward, but her escape is thwarted by the mercenary’s speedy reaction time. The Emperor flails around with bubbly laughter before folding herself forward and trying to pry Byleth’s mischievous hands away from her torso.

“Now it’s my turn to enact a little revenge!” the mercenary grins.

“Fohohorget I said anything! Noho revenge is nehehecessahahary—EEK!” Edelgard lets out a giggly squeak and crumbles into the dirt when Byleth squeezes her sides. The mercenary follows her down with another chuckle, continuing their little tactics of playfulness that had, once again, backfired on Edelgard.

[lachemisenoire]

i used to be a steve stan but not after endgame lmao" lmao i used to not hate Sharon Carter but not since her stans turned out ot be such evil fucks. You absolutely deserve the reduced role your fav has and I hope she turns out to be the powerbroker after all. It's what you and Sharon stans deserve.

lol I absolutely know who this is, you needn’t have bothered going anon because you’ve become notorious. and you need to stop casually throwing the word ‘evil’ around just because you disagree with ppl. enough gurl! go out and read a book or something. If I had to follow your thought process I would choose to dislike Steve simply because you’re such an obnoxious stan. 

btw, I should clarify that it’s not even Steve I dislike as a character really, it’s the writing for his ending. I personally did not like it, as did many others, and you need to deal with that. 

Let's be honest - the REAL reason you dislike Sharon is because, if it turns out to be true that Steve never tried to get in touch with her while on the run, that casts him in a VERY bad light. And you can't take that, as a Steve stan.

Luckily enough for you, the writers think along the same lines, meaning she's probably going to end up a villain to justify Steve's actions - or inactions - post-CW.

also, you don’t really care about female characters, your feminism is shallow and simply revolves around defending Steve, no matter what. 

ETA: I went back and checked just in case and lmaooo, I didn't even put the post you're talking about in the Steve tag cos I don't play like that. The mention of Steve stans at the end was just a playful dig at my followers.

Meaning reading THAT tag ALONE set you off?? Seriously, get a life, and stop going around calling people evil cos they didn't like your fave's ending. You need help. 90% of this fandom has hated my fave ever since she appeared and I've never invaded people's inboxes- anonymously- to call them evil.

[roominthecastle]

Hi Room, What do you think about the finale? Any theorys about why Katarina did that to Red? And what do you think about the Stranger? Thanks!

To me, the finale in general felt okay, which is strangely comforting bc it wasn’t bad. I’m good with an “okay”. “okay” is an improvement (like I still feel TBL is trying while – to use a concurrent example – GOT gave up on itself and its fans spectacularly). There are individual moments that are more than okay to me (DEMBE, the team work, esp Liz & Red, esp esp Liz taking charge and that tiny moment of synchronized tea drinking) and others are less than (e.g. the conclusion to the conspiracy plot is kinda… ?!), but overall I like how S6 played out and my excitement for (lucky number) 7 is intact. Things are in motion and interesting again, and I finally gave myself permission to do a proper, full-scale re-watch during the summer, maybe attempt to chart the timeline, too, which is sth I never expected to consider doing again. I’m even gonna read the comics. In short, this season pulled me back in the Zone.

the rest is behind a cut due to length – @ mobile app users, apologies as always

Red’s identity, Dom’s story, and Liz’s side of these things

The Stranger: Masha was bound to figure out you aren’t who you say you are. What I can’t figure out is Dom. Why would he tell her all that?Red: In an attempt to help her move on.The Stranger: And she believed him?Red: She did. So much so that she‘s decided it’s safe to bring her daughter home.The Stranger: I know Dom meant well. He shouldn’t have told her that story.

So… having seen this scene, I def have more doubts than before, anon, but I still believe that the gist of the Rassvet story (including Red == Ilya) is true. This is (imo) why Red tells Dom “I know the broad strokes, I know who I am, but I need to hear the details you used to sugarcoat the ugly truth to make it look like a fairytale”, i.e. something that Liz has a tendency to swallow (see changed man!Tim or every paternity test they show her), something she was eager to embrace here, too, despite the obvious holes bc – as she told Ressler – “it is sweet and safe, so I’m gonna overlook things that don’t add up and hope it doesn’t come crashing down on me this time”. But it does. Every time.

Whether we like it or not, this is a consistent trait in Liz, this willingness to settle for a sweet, simple story over the messy, complicated truth even when she has misgivings (see her going at Red in 219, “It wouldn’t kill you to lie just once to make someone feel good.”). She’s not stupid, she’s just scared and unsure, imo (and so is Red but, unfortunately for Liz, being pathologically secretive is still what soothes him). But when there is no sweet story available to make Liz feel good/safe or it’s no longer sustainable, that’s when she grows restless/angry and goes on the offensive until she feels safe again. She did this w/ Tim and then w/ Red, too (she literally locked both of them up to gain control), and both times we can eventually hear her say “I was scared of you but not anymore”, and both times she expresses love for a safe & sweet idea and not the full reality of these men who cannot live up to that idea, so the cycle starts up again (well, not w/ Tim as he is now dead but Red is still in the running.)

It doesn’t really matter if the answer she gets is incomplete or untrue. As long as she can make herself swallow it, as long as it brings a sense of security, she will go for it. Tim played along w/ this and that fantasy bubble collapsed every time. Red never did and never will indulge her w/ sweet delusions but by doing so, he also reduces their “feelgood” time together. He hides behind her father’s identity but for her, he breaks cover repeatedly, which to me further signals that he doesn’t wish to take on the roles associated w/ this identity in her life, which clearly clashes w/ her park bench claim of “this is who you will always be to me”. And given Liz’s track record w/ these self-soothing declarations, I think we will once again see her being contradicted.

Having heard of what’s happened btw her and Red, I think Dom decided to tailor the truth to give them a quick-fix. His story brought a sense of safety/certainty that Liz craves – sth Red refused to offer when he told her he had a secret and he had to keep it and refused to give her any embellished feel-good alternative. But now he is on edge bc some of his secrets have been spilled and it was done in a way that maximizes his discomfort (by making him look like a hero when he considers himself anything but, and, ultimately, by undermining his control over his own “narrative” around Liz). I believe this is part of the reason why he tells Dom that he likely made everything worse by telling her that story.

I hope next season they will be pushed to face more of the actual truth together – in all its ugly, messy glory – about what exactly happened and, more importantly, why. Because we still don’t know much of that. Dom only offered a taste but now Katarina is back to mix some sour to the sweet (I am hungry as I am typing this, can you tell ;)

The Stranger: well, we barely have anything to go on here but what we have is already intriguing, i.e. he grew up w/ Red, he seems to know Dom and Katarina personally, he seems to have some serious tradecraft background + connections, and he is among the v few who is trusted w/ Red’s secrets, so he is inner inner circle for sure (and he’s played by Brett Cullen, so… yes please). I still think the childhood pledge from the Rassvet story is an element of truth (it just fits our Red way too much + I see it reflected in “Cape May”), so I think these 3 (the Stranger, Red, and Kat) were likely childhood friends and they all picked similar career paths (or it was picked for them), so the Stranger is likely Russian, too.

Katarina continues to puzzle me to no end, I freely admit. And I am enjoying it (for now anyway). The finale offered some really interesting details here, imo, and I think Red’s 2nd meeting w/ the Stranger is the most revealing.

Red tasked his mysterious friend to locate Katarina bc Ressler’s dig for his real identity triggered an active search for her, too. The Stranger finds her and hands Red a picture saying, “It’s her. I’m telling you, Raymond. Paper trails. The passports. The travel. It’s her.” What we can immediately conclude here is that they didn’t even know what Kat looks like now since it’s not the picture the Stranger used to identify her but her signature methods/movements (knowledge of this implies a close working relationship in the past at the v least). And since he doesn’t hand Red the pic to ask him to confirm it’s her but to show him what she looks like now, we can also conclude that Red had no idea what she looks like now, either, which means that he hasn’t seen her for almost 3 decades and, apparently, he would have been fine w/ maintaining this arrangement if it hadn’t been for the security risk Ressler’s digging exposed them to.

This conclusion lines up nicely w/ two (imo very important) things established in previous episodes:

Red’s hallucinations at Cape May – he sees Kat the way she looked in 1991/92. His mind couldn’t conjure her present image bc his last memories of her are almost 30 years old. This in turn implies that the Hobson’s choice event took place around this time, as well, and that was the last time he saw her. It was the last time Dom saw her, too, if what he tells Liz in “Rassvet” – that it was 28 years ago – is true.

Katarina being dead – whatever happened to Kat, her own father considers her as good as dead now. So does Red and Dom blames him for this loss, going as far as saying he killed her.

Dom: These boxes are all I have left of my daughter.

Red: If Katarina were standing here instead of me, if it were she asking you, what would you tell her?Dom: It doesn’t matter because she is not here and she’s not asking.Red: But if you could tell her–Dom: I can’t!

Dom (to Liz): If my Katarina was still here, she would have let me know. [… her mother sent a letter hoping it] would find her alive. I picked it up because I knew it never would.”

Liz: You said the name Masha Rostova had been lost to history until the manhunt. Now it’s out there and someone’s looking for me. It’s my mother.Red: Lizzie, your mother is dead.

Her mother was dying, Kat never showed. Her daughter was being hunted and it was televised globally – Kat never showed. And clearly neither Dom nor Red expected her to as they both seem to consider Katarina dead despite being aware that she is still out there somewhere. Moreover, they both believe that Liz is better off thinking her mother is dead than knowing whatever the truth is (so it cannot be too good). Add to this Red’s latest remark to Liz – “your mother can’t hurt you” – and things truly get weird and interesting. Was Kat subjected to some special session w/ Krilov, too, that somehow “extinguished” parts of her, practically rendering her old self “gone”? This would be my current best guess (just a shot in the dark, really) and I know it’s crude sci-fi territory but this is TBL we’re talking about.

Whatever happened to Kat, Red was involved in it, and we have several remarks to back this up:

“All the money, all the time and effort, all the favors in the world cannot possibly equal what you took away from her.” (Red, 216)

“There was a woman and her child. Both were doomed. Both would die. I could either save one or lose both. I chose the child. It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.” (Red, 319)

“I’m not sure Elizabeth will ever be ready to learn what you did to Katarina.” (Dembe, 422)

“[Katarina] is gone because of choices you made.” (Dom, 320)

In “Cape May”, Red hallucinated forgiveness/absolution from Katarina but we don’t know if this is how she actually felt. It could have been just Red trying to make himself feel better about doing what he felt to be necessary. Katarina in the present doesn’t seem to be in a forgiving mood, tho. She clearly expected to be contacted and she clearly considered Red’s presence a threat.

Red: If Moscow is looking for Katarina, if Agent Ressler’s inquiry has reignited their search…The Stranger: Then I know that could be bad.Red: I want this done before Masha’s daughter comes home.

So… your guess is as good as mine here, anon. All we have for now is a whole lot of vaguing and very little concrete info. I agree, it feels there’s sth more to this but there’s just so little to go on, it could be almost anything. What we can conclude is that the Stranger and Red (and Dom) have stayed away from Katarina for almost 30 years and if it hadn’t been for Moscow’s freshly reignited interest in finding her, this complete lack of contact would have remained. They didn’t even keep direct tabs on her since they had no idea what she looked like or where exactly she was or that she was a threat to Red (otherwise he would have approached her differently, imo).

They clearly do not want Kat to be found – the precise “why” remains to be seen. Red’s first words to her are a warning – “it’s not safe” –, and I think he truly went there to make sure she wouldn’t be scooped up. That was his immediate objective. If she were found, the consequences would reach Liz and Agnes, and heading that threat off is what ultimately motivates Red here (→ “I want this done before Masha’s daughter comes home.”). He didn’t look too enthusiastic to make contact. He didn’t want to, he had to.  And he didn’t tell Liz, which suggests that he wants this separation to remain, which suggests that something is up w/ Katarina that goes beyond the usual “you can’t be in her life bc it’s dangerous” reason. Dom stayed out of Liz’s life, too, for safety reasons yet Red told him to find Liz if anything happened to him. That doesn’t seem to be the case w/ Kat at all. Red himself stayed away from her yet he went to find Dom after Liz “death” and returned several times after that for advice or simply for his company.

The meeting w/ Kat wasn’t a social call and it did not feel like a romantic reunion, either. Red just looked sad and tense to me. And he clearly did not expect to be stabbed, so I don’t think that bit was part of any planned performance. Why he received that treatment is another good question. Kat has clearly come into the possession of some new info that compelled her to go on the offensive. It could be related to their past and that vague remark about what Red did to her OR it is about something more recent that Red wasn’t aware she was aware of?? Right now this moment feels like a convergence of two separate threads: Red came to warn her based on “undisclosed plot point A” and Katarina reacted to him based on “undisclosed plot point B”.

Oh, I love this song, anon. Antis can keep pointing at that awkward kiss (that he doesn’t even initiate, she keeps pushing her face into his) as evidence of some ~epic romance~ all they want, but once again they fail (and/or refuse) to see things in context and “Cape May” was already pretty clear wrt Red’s feelings, I agree. and the finale lines up w/ it, too, which is nice.

Red hasn’t seen her in 30 years yet he only decided to contact Kat bc her looming exposure threatened Liz and Agnes, and when he is shown a picture of her, this is his reaction:

Not exactly what I’d expect from a dude in love (even if it were unrequited). He had a way more emotional reaction to Dembe’s return and he only left like a week ago. This is more like how you react when someone shows you photographic evidence of Bigfoot chilling in their hot tub w/ a beer. And now we know Red knew all along that Katarina was alive, so him “designating” Liz as the woman he loves and confessing (several times both to her and others) that without her he has nothing to live for and saying her name as his last word speak volumes already. So if they wanted to sell Red/Kat, they have already undercut themselves on multiple fronts here by giving literally all the romance tropes to Red/Liz. But I don’t believe they are selling R/K, it’s just another smoke screen + Kat is part of a past both Red and Liz have to settle for the sake of their future. And settling the past is always easier and more fruitful to do w/ a living human than w/ a ghost or a hallucination.

Yeah, I think it’s there to signal that they (Dom and Kat included) go way back and were/are close, like you said. and to indicate shared Russian roots, perhaps. As I said above, I still think Red is Ilya and the Stranger is likely Russian, too, (and so is Dom), so using Liz’s original Russian name makes sense in this context of “Russian togetherness”.

and Red sometimes calls her Masha around Dom, too, bc that’s what Dom calls her bc that’s who she still is to Dom. And I think that’s why Red calls her Elizabeth bc that’s who she is to him, which is a nice little detail further emphasizing that his main/defining connection to her is the present one just as James keeps saying. Or as Red puts it on-screen

I can def see both sides here, anon, and more. Knowing what we know about Red, both are likely among the multiple reasons that underpin his behavior in this scene. Yes, on the one hand, he was pressed for time and wanted that Kat thing done as soon as possible. On the other, he was also kinda closed-off as if he were trying to hold back emotionally as well as physically, which I think flows from 2 main sources: 1) he feels uncomfortable w/ the labels Liz wants to push on him (ever since the pilot he’s been displaying a preference for “partner” and not “father” and he might be reaching his saturation point) and 2) he is still heartbroken and afraid to put himself out there again w/ Liz after three major betrayals in a row. He’s already had a sort of baseline distress due to how emotionally vulnerable he is to Liz at all times, so after this latest heartbreak I think he is just trying to take things slow, leaving space and time for Liz and himself to figure out a mutually acceptable way to fit together.

She’s been using his heart as a knife block to satisfy her own needs and I think it’s making him less and less willing to force himself into slots that feel uncomfortable to him. She just decided that him playing dad and grandad is what suits him but a week ago she thought life in prison suited him the best. I mean… that’s not how you relationship. At all. Relationships are ongoing negotiations where all involved need to consent to their “roles”. It’s not “I hate you now, so I will put you in prison” and then “I love you now, so stay for dinner”. After everything that’s happened, I am not surprised Red is pushing back a little here for the sake of (what’s left of) his own sanity. He is a deeply flawed, problematique human being but he is still a human being and not a toy.

Liz and Agnes are the most important to him and he would never ever force his preferences on them, I completely agree. But that doesn’t mean Liz should be allowed to force her preferences on him esp when those change so often and so drastically bc she clearly doesn’t know what she really wants from him yet. I think this realization is finally truly dawning on this guilt-ridden, lovesick idiot and that’s part of what we see in this scene, esp in that “I don’t wanna intrude” comment that really does feel like a pointed retreat from her abrupt park bench declaration. But of course there is no negotiation w/o talking and that’s what Liz wanted to do before Red shut her down, so…

bottom line (that’s been the same for 6 years): these 2 need to talk.

[baronessblixen]

I'm a sucker for post One Son angst. Could you write something that encaptures it? This is Detour anon btw :D (I'm asking because you spoiled me with the last one I requested. It was a-mazing).

Detour anon, hi!  I am not known for writing angst I guess, but hey, I wrote smut the other day. Clearly I can try writing angst. Here we go. It’s set in Arcadia. I hope that’s all right with you.

She wants to go home and be alone. Shedoesn’t want to be Laura Petrie, married to Rob. These people, sugary smiles,sweet voices and stolen kisses, are not who they are.

Scully stares at Mulder across thetable, digging into his food, his head hung low. He’s completely oblivious toher feelings reading her latest findings, his mind probably reeling with newideas and theories. She watches him. Lately, watching is all she does. Theydon’t talk much save for the necessary work related banter. They haven’t talkedabout El Rico or Diana. Knowing their track record, Scully doubts they everwill. But she watches him. Checks for hints of a shift, a change in demeanor,but no, Mulder is just Mulder. It’s as if the last few months haven’t happened.As if Diana hadn’t come between them, shown her a new side of Mulder, herpartner and friend, one of the few people she trusts with her life. Watchinghim now, across from her, in silence, she is not sure she ever really knew himat all.

“Mulder, I’m heading off to bed.”She pushes the plate away; she’s barely touched her food. Mulder looks up,confusing clouding his eyes until he finds hers, staring back at him.  

“Already?” He blinks at her whenhe sees her plate.

“You can finish it if you want.I’m not hungry.” The chair scrapes over the floor as she roughly pushes itaway. She needs to be by herself. Being in this house with Mulder feels lonelierthan her darkest thoughts at night. At least upstairs in her bedroom, the oneshe chased him out of, she can pretend she is alone here in this house.Pretending is another thing she does a lot lately.

“Hey Scully,” Mulder callsout, but she doesn’t stop; he can take care of the dishes, or not. She doesn’tcare, “hey wait up, will you?” She is at the stairs when he reaches her,his hand grabbing her arm. She flinches, trying to pull away from him, but hedoesn’t let go.

“What is happening, Scully?”His voice is so soft, just above a murmur, almost a caress, that she has toclose her eyes for a moment. “You’ve been distant since we got here. Younever… you can’t even stand it when I touch you.”

“That’s not true.” Shewhispers, angry tears pricking her eyes; it’s the truth. Mulder, untouched byrecent events, continues to treat her like he always has. His hand on her back,guiding her. His hand on her shoulder, assuring her he’s there. Except heisn’t. He hasn’t been. Not when she needed him to be. When she thought he wouldbe. Has he touched Diana like this? Held her hand, maybe, or put his armsaround her waist. Maybe he didn’t use his hands at all. Let his lips take over.Kiss her lips, kiss down her body, kiss her places Scully used to wish he wouldtouch her, in any way. She wipes away a stray tear; the longing is still there,gently knocks against her, and she wills it away. Just like Mulder, staring ather, it refuses to lose its hold on her.

“Isn’t it?” His grip loosensaround her arm. Instead of taking his hand away though he starts caressing herarm. His index finger wanders up and down slowly, then his other fingers joinin, playing against her skin. All the while Mulder doesn’t take his eyes off hers.He watches her, like she watched him earlier, and all she can do is stand here,frozen in this moment, trying to prove him wrong.

“Please stop.” She tells him,breaking down way too soon, not really expecting him to listen. When doesMulder ever do what she tells him to do? But his fingers come to a standstillimmediately and a moment later his hand is gone. Only his eyes remain,unblinking, on hers. She feels the loss of his warmth stronger than she thoughtpossible. She doesn’t want him to touch her; right now she doesn’t want him tobe here, be around her. Yet she craves it; craves him. Her skin tingles,screams, for him to touch her again. To make it better.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Scully.I never do.”

“No, Mulder. You never do.”And yet he does all.the.time. He ditches her, he trusts a woman he hasn’t seenin years, over her; he dismisses her feelings, her doubts. No, he doesn’t meanto hurt her – she believes him – but the result is the same anyway.

“What can I do to…” To makeit better, Mulder? To make it go away? Her eyes challenge him. She sees pain there,wonders if it mirrors her own. His hand twitches; he wants to touch her again,so badly.

“Just… I need some time, Mulder.I’m happy we have the x-files back, I really am. Let’s concentrate on that, allright? You told me not to make it personal. So let’s not make it personal. Wehave a job to do.” The words hurt her, but not as much as they hurt him.He takes a step back though she doubts he realizes it. She feels his absenceagain, even more so than before. Time, she told him. Maybe time will make itbetter.

“You can have all the time youneed,” Mulder assures her with a solemn nod and she searches for a hintthat he doesn’t take this seriously, that he once again heard her words butdidn’t understand her, “I’ll be here.” He finishes, throwing her asmall lopsided smile. She returns it.

“Good night, Scully.” Mulderadds, turning around, and this time her hand, in a reflex maybe, reaches out tohim. She’s surprised herself when it comes into contact with his back. Warm andstrong under her fingers it twitches in anticipation but he doesn’t flinch,doesn’t startle.

“We’ll be fine, Mulder.” Scullyswears, waits until he nods, and she lets go of him. She ascends the stairs tothe sound of Mulder clearing the table. They’ll be fine, she reminds herselfwith every step, and until they are, she’s just going to pretend.

[whatdimissmotherfuckers]

That’s all I need

THIS IS A SERIES CALLED “MAYBE THAT’S THE PROBLEM” PART 1

Word count: 2103 Pairing: Philip x Reader Au: Highschool Au Summary: You tell your friends about the embarassing night with Philip and then you get embarassed again. !!!MASTER OF SUMMARIES Warnings: hella lot of swearing, Nothing else I think. Note: This took way too long. I’m sorry. But not for the haters. I’m sorry for the cute anons who wanted a second part. The third one will come much faster, I hope. I’m sorry that this is mostly dialogue, but its not that short. So, I drew the people appearing in this chapter right here. Does anyone wanna see my Richard Price too? Btw, I really love the characters here, even though they don’t really appear in Hamilton, I know. But like, the way I wrote them and imagine them, they are really fun to write! Who would be down for a Georges or a Richard fic? Okay, enough of the chit chat. Here comes more of Maybe that’s the problem!

“Yes that’s the whole story.”

“This is why you skipped school yesterday?” Theodosia stared at you with widened eyes, slamming her palms against the table.

“Not so fucking loud, Theo. He could see me”, you muttered, trying to hide behind the history book you were holding upside down. Your eyes glimpsed over to the table across the cafeteria, where Philip was sitting with his clique. If you wanted to prevent one thing, it was a sudden encounter with him. 

“I had the same reaction, Theo. I mean. It could’ve been worse right? You could’ve slept with him”, Abigail added, while she poured steaming hot coffee into her cup, making you inhale the aromatic scent.

Just as you wanted to defend yourself, somebody plumped down their tray right next to you, making you jump in surprise, before you looked up. It was John Quincy Adams, Abigail’s brother. Seating next to you, he curiously wiggled his eyebrows.

“Who slept with whom?”, he asked her sister. The amused smirk on his face spoke volumes. “Nobody”, you interfered, before Abigail could say anything you probably didn't want to hear. “Can we just drop the subject?”, you asked annoyed, tapping your foot. Theo shrugged. “Hey, you started it. Not my fault John got wind!”, she pointed out with a sharp undertone to her voice. John twisted his mouth. “(Y/N), I need to know this, don't  be such a tease”, he pleaded, resulting you in letting out a defeated sigh. “If I do, I'm gonna fucking regret this, Quince”, you explained, sinking deeper into your seat. “Probably. Now tell me what's up.”

He started fidgeting around, and shoved the tray with food further away. “God, I hate this crap.” making a dismissive gesture with his hands, his blue eyes were laying on you. “John. You're such a douche. The food is not that bad.”, Theo complained, inspecting the dishes further, before stealing the dessert of his plate. “I've wiped my butt with better stuff. You can have it”, he insisted,  before Nudging you in the side. “Please, (Y/N)”, John drawled out your name.”We're friends! I'm honestly a bit offended right now.”

Well, probably the first right thing he said this week. Despite his lack of empathy and decency, you enjoyed his presence because of snide comments and his honesty, even though you couldn't stand him at first. But eventually, and maybe because of Abigail, you both grew close friends.

The problem was, that he would laugh at you if you told him what really happened. You didn't blame him, if it wasn't so embarrassing, you would've laughed at yourself too.  But today this was really all you could take. “God. If I’m going to tell you, two rules. You can't laugh and you can't tell anybody”, you stated with  narrowed eyes.

“I'm all ears”, John claimed, crossing his arms. For the third time this day, you talked about the Saturday evening, where you've embarrassed yourself in front of Philip,  but left out the awkward breakfast together with him. Before you could even finish your story,  John had already burst into a laugh and propped himself up against the table. You shot him an irritated glare, but it wasn't any good.

Abigail interrupted him, deciding she needed to have the last words. “So now Y/N is crushing horribly on the boy, but also tries to hide before him,  because of reasons I don't understand.” Indignant, you chided in. “Fuck you, Nabby! Also, you were the one saying that he's a huge player!”  “Yeah, but he usually fucks the girls before they sleep in his bed! So maybe I was wrong”, she hollered, and you lowered your head behind the book. “Not so fucking loud! You don’t need to get so aggressive”,you hissed, fixing your eyes on the handsome boy, who was still cluelessly talking with his friends. A sigh escaped from your whole group of friends. With a groan, John stretched.

“Honestly, if that whole story is true, then he probably cares about you. And stop painting him like a villain. I've known him for a bit now, and he's pretty chill. The only thing that’s annoying, is his father.” John's words made you curious,  even though you didn't want to be. Shifting a little closer towards your friend, you digged further into the subject. “What about him?” He gave you a confused look and frowned. “Uhm…  You know, Alexander Hamilton. The man who published his own affair.”

A gasp escaped your lips, and  you glimpsed over to Philip one more time. “That was, before I came to this school, right?”, you asked, tapping thoughtfully against the table.

“Yup”, John confirmed. “ He used to be a bit different way then. Way more open, but just as bold as now. Now he just uses every other weekend as an excuse to get drunk. Or high. Or both.” “I see.”

The four of you spent the rest of the lunch break talking about vanities,but your mind was still occupied with Philip Hamilton. You didn't want to admit it, but he had indeed caught your attention, and you really wanted to get to know him.

Maybe you should give his next party another visit.

“(Y/N).”, the teacher warned you suddenly, putting an end to your daydream. These were the last two lessons of the day, making you even more unconcentrated. “But Mr. Miranda, I wasn’t even doing anything”, you defended yourself, before straightening your back to sit upright. Your Teacher looked at you unimpressed, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah, that's the point. You’re not contributing in this class at all.”, he complained, before clapping his hands. “Okay, we will have a little break everyone, John, please open the windows.”

Your classmate got up to do like he was told to, while the others starting to engage in some small conversations around you, but you didn't feel like talking.  You still couldn't  sort your thoughts and it confused you. What was so interesting about Philip that you couldn’t get him out of your mind? Absorbed in your own thoughts, you started scribbling down on your notepad. You didn’t really know what you were going for, and since your drawing skills were barely average, you didn’t pay much attention to it.

Suddenly, the door of the classroom flew open, and a black mop of hair peeked inside. It was Richard Price, also lovingly called “Dick”, and the best friend of Philip. A sigh escaped your lips. What could he possibly want? But your question was answered faster than you could’ve wished for, as Philip himself walked through the door, a giant bouquet of red roses in his hands.

Without hesitation, he made his way straight to your desk, shoving the bunch of flowers into your hands. A cocky grin was laying on his lips, as he noticed how you started to blush, and he clicked his tongue. Meanwhile, Richard was giving you a once-over and appeared to be unimpressed. “What’s up, Girl?” You could kill Philip for being this laid-back,since he was interrupting a class right now. Mr. Miranda didn’t seem to notice though. As you glimpsed at your teacher, he was violently writing into a small notepad.

“School, obviously. How did you find out where I have class?”, you tried to keep your composure, but on the inside you were screaming. You had never received flowers in your life, and certainly not in this flamboyant way. “I didn’t.”, Philip claimed, making you raise your eyebrows. That didn’t make any sense. “You?”  You addressed Richard, while your eyes were wandering over to him and back to Philip.

“Me neither. I don’t even know you.” The boy claimed, shrugging innocently. Scratching your temple in confusion, you started to contemplate whether they were just messing with you, as someone joined the conversation.

“I told them.” You gasped, as you recognized the voice of John Quincy behind you, who admitted, that he was the one. With widened eyes and filled with indignation, you turned around to him and kicked against one of his shins, making him whimper. “Quince, I thought better of you”, you hissed, as Philip placed an arm around you shoulder. “Come on, he didn’t even tell me your name. So he’s not that huge of a snitch”, Philip reassured you, before stopping in his tracks. “But you could, right now”, he suggested, winking at you.  Furrowing your brows, you shook your head and pushed away his arm, but your fingers lingered a little bit too long on his before you did so. “And why would I? We don’t even know each other”, you said, even though you were already fantasizing about a date with him.

That’s when Richard  joined your conversation, suggesting that you both could get to know each other...on a date. “I don’t know”, you muttered, playing hard to get. Two pair of eyes were staring at you intimidatingly. “I mean, why should I?”, you asked, but immediately regretted it, as John spitted out the gulp of water he had just taken all over the floor. “Jesus Christ, just fucking agree, you’ll be fine, you fucking asshole. We all know you would love to go on date with him, so fuck your “playing hard to get strategy!”, he cursed aggressively, before wiping the water of your table.

At first, you wanted to yell back at him, but then you paused for a minute.After rethinking all of your possibilities, your last thought was “whatever”, which was probably not the most intelligent choice you could make, but here you were.

“One date!”, you clarified, pointing you finger and Philip nodded, slowly lowering himself to you, to caress your cheek. “I won’t be needing more, cherie”, he assured you, and you felt your cheeks flush in an instant. Hastily, you swatted away his hand and he backed away, chuckling slightly. Before he continued to speak, he exchanged a meaningful glance with Richard.

“Okay, so what do you wanna do?”, Philip asked, while running a hand through his curly hair. “Oh.” You hadn’t thought of that yet. What do people usually do on dates. “Like...Going to a movie or something?”, you hesitantly answered and you could see the amusement in both of the boys eyes. “Well. I mean, if you want. We could also go to the theatre or I could book a dinner cruise-”

“What?” You almost choked, interrupting him. Your eyes were widened in surprise, before an expression of disbelief unfolded on your face. Of course, you couldn’t possibly agree to something so expensive, you would owe him for the rest of your life. Shaking your head, you tried not to be impolite. “N-no, no, no.  Let’s.. Let me just visit you..at your home”, you stuttered awkwardly, scratching the back of your head. Your counterpart shrugged, leaning against your table.

“If you want to. Friday?”, he suggested and you slowly tilted you head to the side. “Hm, I don’t know… I have a lot to do on Friday, what about Saturday?”, you explained in a questioning tone. Richard rolled his eyes in annoyance, groaning slightly. Noticing his behaviour, you raised an eyebrow. Had you said something wrong? “My parties are saturdays”, Philip clarified, and you act as if you understood the importance of that.

“Okay. Then...Friday I guess”, you muttered, fidgeting around in your seat.  Philip nodded with a pleased smile on his lips, before grabbing something from your desk, it was the notepad you had drawn on a few minutes ago. Without any hesitation, he ripped out a sheet and showed it to Richard, who stowed the scrap of paper in his jacket after laughing at it.

“Thanks for drawing me”, he said, winking at you. And with that, he left together with Richard, leaving you like the complete mess you were, completely embarrassed and your face buried into the roses he had given to you. You were about to calm down, as you just now noticed that everybody was staring at you like you were some kind of alien.

Sinking deeper into your seat, you hoped Mr. Miranda wouldn’t comment on the situation, and he didn’t. Instead, he waggled his eyebrows at you, which made the circumstances only worse. Thankfully, the teacher continued the lesson a few moments after, but you still felt like nobody was actually paying attention.

Even John, who sat beneath, was glimpsing awfully lot over to you, and at one point, you nudged your elbow into his ribs. “Ouch, what was that for?”, he mumbled quietly, not trying to get the attention of your teacher, but you repeated the action as an answer.

“Everything, Quince.”