#this is my home!
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inbabylontheywept · 6 months ago
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
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cartoonsinthemorning · 6 months ago
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Since you guys liked Marcille as Kermit that much, it seems fitting to thank you for my 12k milestone with MORE Kercille. And this time, Miss Falin is also here.
Thank you so much again everybody! MWAH 💗
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bookwyrminspiration · 5 months ago
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I can behave normally around books
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atissi · 2 months ago
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locked the fuck back in
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brightlotusmoon · 2 months ago
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podcastwizard · 9 months ago
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cashier: ok that'll be $20
me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!
cashier: where's all that blood coming from
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bethfuller · 7 months ago
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limited perception.
find me on instagram!
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sabertoothwalrus · 9 months ago
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girldad mode activate
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tawnysoup · 12 days ago
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Finally now that the comic is fully public on comicfury, I get to share it with all of you here, too <3
If you enjoyed, please consider supporting by buying a PDF of the comic on itch.io: https://tawnysoup.itch.io/home-in-the-woods
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theriverbeyond · 5 months ago
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packing for a trip is like ok i need 30 pairs of underwear. my entire medicine cabinet. T shirt?
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tierras · 3 days ago
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the mutual aid los angeles network (malan) has put together a spreadsheet with valuable resources for people affected by the ongoing los angeles wildfires and wind storm. the sheet is constantly being updated with resources such as shelter info, animal boarding info, addresses for distribution centers, volunteer opportunities and so much more.
please share this spreadsheet widely
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technovillain · 1 month ago
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crown jewel/stained glass jello cakes are like beautiful angels to me. it's fruity and delicious. it's retro kitsch. it's an edible example of midcentury minimalist art in every cross section.
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i understand the 50s housewife appeal here. if i rolled up to the potluck with a fugly cobbler and my neighbor brought one of these i may have to end my stupid sloppy fruit life.
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lordgroose · 2 years ago
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my favorite work memory from this store will always be “hey remember when the subway inside the store closed down and they let me take a bunch of their shit for free and now it lives inside my house?”
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my life is a joke
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soulswordlesbian · 17 days ago
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that david shrigley lino print made me feeel things
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romanceyourdemons · 5 months ago
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local asian market reorganized its shelves. consequently when i went looking for my ve wong vegetarian flavor instant noodles i unexpectedly found myself in the Good Quality Cookware And Beautiful Dishes aisle, aka the aisle of temptation, face to face with a mug (my favorite dish) with a lid (my favorite thing for a mug to have) and a heron pattern (my second-favorite bird) at a very reasonable price (i’m on a budget and i literally do not have room for another mug on my mug shelf). it was like one of those fucked up tests they give monks in shaolin movies to see if they’ve really given up earthly desires. that mug is going to haunt the broken man that i am for a long time
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