#this is my first time giffing since my setup change

[behindfairytales]

LEO SUTER as Harald Sigurdsson Vikings: Valhalla, Return to Kattegat (3.06)

[once-upon-an-imagine]

I’d love a request where the reader is Bobbys daughter and dating Buck. It’s a hot day and the reader has gone to the firehouse to see everyone but she ends up feeling unwell because of the heat and Buck looks after her.

hello, love! ahh thank you so much for this request! and thanks to everyone who voted! it's my first time writing for Buck so I hope you like it! also, I'm not sure why, I swear I read somewhere that Bobby didn't know they were dating so that's kind of the course this took, so I hope that's okay! Warnings: reader faints because of the heat; I think that’s it, but always let me know if I missed anything Disclaimer: I don’t own 9-1-1 😊 gif isn’t mine 😁

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Heatwave

"Okay, how does this look?" you asked, placing the lasagna in the middle of the table. Buck had texted you that the team was on their way back so you needed to hurry up.

"For the third time, honey, yes. It looks good" Athena said as she brought the bread with her and you went over to finish the salad you were making. You had learned a thing or two from your father and you started to actually enjoy cooking. It brought the two of you together after you lost the rest of your family, and it usually helped calm you down, but not today. "Look, I know you're nervous about telling your dad about you and Buck, but you need to breathe and relax" she said, walking closer to you.

You had been seeing Buck for a long time now. At first, you didn't want to tell your dad, mostly because you weren't even sure if the two of you were serious. Then, it got serious quickly and the two of you agreed to tell your dad when you were both ready. So now, because the two of you wanted to move in together, you knew you had to tell him. So, here you were, cooking your father's favorite meal for lunch, and hoping to have your dad in a good mood for later tonight when you were going to finally tell him.

"I know, I know" you said to Athena, who had kindly volunteered to help you since it was her day off. "It's just... my dad has hated every single boyfriend I've had" you told her.

"Oh, I know. He's told me about all the insipid, idiot, good-for-nothings you've dated before" she said, making you widen your eyes at her. "His words not mine" she said, making you roll your eyes. "But he adores Buck, like his own son. I mean, they even went to a Bruce Springsteen concert together" she reminded you.

"Ugh, I know, nobody loves Springsteen as much as those two" you said, making Athena let out a chuckle. "Look, I know he loves Buck... as part of his team. I'm not sure if he's gonna love Buck as my boyfriend" you said, nervously.

"Of course he will. Because as much as he loves Buck, he loves you more than anything and anyone" she reminded you. "And he's going to see how happy he makes you" she smiled.

"You really think so?" you asked, smiling back.

"I really do" she nodded. It actually meant a lot to you what Athena thought too. You knew she didn't particularly like Buck at first, but she had mentioned to you how he's changed and how she sees that the two of you brought out the best in each other. "Looks like they're here" she said, when you saw the truck pulling into the station.

"Okay" you said, placing the salad on the table. "I think the bear claws are done" you said, wiping your hands on your apron, and went over to the oven.

"Really? You had to make his favorite dessert?" Athena said, rolling her eyes. "Aren't you trying a bit too hard?"

"Better safe than sorry" you smiled nervously.

"Hey, what's all this?" Hen asked, being the first one to get upstairs.

"Do I smell your dad's famous lasagna?" Chim was the next one to appear. "Please tell me I'm right" he smiled, seeing at the setup table.

"You are correct" you smiled.

"Oh, this is why you're my favorite Nash" he smiled.

"Hey! I heard that" you heard your father coming up. "This is a nice surprise" he smiled, looking at the two of you before he went over to his wife and gave her a kiss.

"Yeah-" Athena started before you interrupted her.

"It was Athena's idea" you quickly said. "I uh, just... tagged along to help with the cooking" you smiled as Buck and Eddie finally made it upstairs.

"Hey, little Nash" Eddie said, walking over to greet you. Aside from Athena, he was the only one who knew about the two of you. And Christopher.

"Well, I'm happy to see you" Bobby said, before walking over to you and kissing your head. "Both of you" he added. "This looks good, duck" he smiled as you rolled your eyes a little.

"Why is it that he calls you duck?" you heard Chimney ask when he was taking his seat.

"Why does he call you Chimney?" you smirked and he glared at you.

Your dad laughed and walked over to the table with Athena as he started telling Hen and Chim that he called you duck because you used to be a really grumpy kid and when you were a toddler, you sounded like Donald Duck whenever you argued with him about something.

"Hey" Buck said, walking closer to you as you walked to the oven. "How are you feeling?" he smiled.

"I'm... fine" you smiled wearily.

"You're a terrible liar" he chuckled.

"I know" you said, opening the oven and feeling the heat struck you. It was already extremely hot outside. This just made it ten times worse. "I'm just a little nervous" you said, getting back up, suddenly feeling dizzy, and making you drop the tray with bear claws a bit faster and louder than you intended on the counter, getting the attention of the four people on the table.

"Whoa" Buck said, worriedly, getting closer to you.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Eddie asked. "You're sweating a lot"

"Yeah, no I just... felt a bit light-headed" you said, placing your wrist on your forehead.

"Did you eat something today? Maybe you need to sit down" Buck said pulling you closer to him. "Look at me" he instructed.

"I'm fine, sweetheart-" you tried smiling before Buck saw your eyes roll over to the back of your head and you collapsed in front of him. He quickly wrapped his arms around your waist, preventing you from falling all the way to the ground.

"Bobby!" Buck yelled, even if Bobby was already rushing to you as Buck and Eddie carried you to the sofa.

"Chim! Hen! Get your bag!" Bobby ordered. "What happened?"

"I think it's the heat" Eddie said as Chimney came running back up with his bag, handing Hen what she needed.

"Did she eat anything at all today?" she questioned.

"Not while she was with me" Athena replied.

"She didn't have breakfast either" Buck said, feeling guilty. He was the main reason why you were late and didn't have breakfast.

"What? She didn't?" Bobby asked, confused. "Wait, how do you know that?"

"Um... she texted me?" Buck smiled, nervously as Eddie and Athena shared a look, thinking it was probably best to give everyone some space.

"You two... text each other?" Bobby asked as Chimney and Hen shared a different, confused look.

"Oh, I did not see this coming" Chim muttered to Hen.

"Seriously? You didn't?" she asked before going back to examining you.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You slowly opened your eyes and realized you were at the 118 station and you had a cold cloth pressed against your forehead. You tried to sit up but Buck quickly ran over to you.

"Whoa, easy there, love" he said, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. "Hi" he smiled sweetly at you, offering you a bottle of water. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit dumb, to be honest" you chuckled, accepting the water and taking a sip. "W-what happened?"

"You fainted" he reminded you. "Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you hadn't eaten today?"

"I'm sorry" you frowned. "I didn't think it would be a big deal. I didn't have time to eat this morning and, then I went to work, and then I started cooking and I lost track of time and, I guess the heat didn't help" you said shyly.

"No, it didn't" your dad said, walking over and sitting on the edge of the sofa. "How are you feeling duck?"

"A bit better" you said.

"Well, it's a good thing your boyfriend is always alert and quick on his feet" he said, casually.

"Yeah, he- wait, what did you say?" you froze, realizing what he'd just say. "Did I hit my head?" you asked Buck. "Did my dad just call you my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, sweetheart" Buck smiled apologetically. "I know you had a whole thing planned tonight, but I let it slip that you didn't have breakfast today, and well... I kind of told him" he explained.

"Y-you did?" you asked, feeling a bit nauseous again. "Does he know we're moving in together?"

"What?!"

"He does now" Buck said with a tight-lipped smile.

"You're moving in together?" your dad asked.

"I uh-" you stuttered. "Y-yeah" you admitted. "W-we were going to tell you tonight at dinner" you insisted.

"Is that why you came to make my favorite lunch? So I'd be in a good mood?" he asked, knowing you too well.

"M-maybe?" you smiled. "A-are you mad?"

"No, honey. I'm not mad" he chuckled, pulling you closer and kissing your temple. "I don't love the fact that you hid it from me for so long" he added. "But I'm glad you're with someone who I know cares about you as much as I know Buck does" he smiled. "And, if I'm being honest, I kind of suspected it for a while" he said, surprising you.

"You did not" you glared at him.

"You both are terrible liars and I mean, you only make bear claws when you're giving me bad news" he smirked, making you roll your eyes.

"Wait, does that mean, I'm bad news?" Buck asked.

"What? N-no" you said unconvincingly. "I make them when I'm not sure how he will react" you insisted.

"Yeah" Bobby said. "To bad news" he repeated with a chuckle. I'm glad you're happy, duck" he told you.

"Thanks, dad" you smiled. "I really am" you told him.

"I'm gonna go get you something to eat, okay?" he said, getting up and kissing your head again. "Don't ever scare me like that again" he muttered before walking away.

"So, your dad knows about us" Buck smiled at you.

"Yeah, and it didn't go bad at all" you said, excitedly.

"Not bad at all? Sweetheart, do I need to remind you that you just fainted?"

"Well, yeah but... I mean aside from that" you pouted, making him smile at you before giving you a peck on the lips.

"You really scared me" he said, worriedly.

"I'm sorry, love" you insisted.

"You don't have to apologize" he said. "Especially since it was kind of my fault you didn't have breakfast" he said, blushing a little. "But now that we are going to live together, I will make sure you don't leave the house without eating first" he instructed, making you roll your eyes a little.

"Fine" you smiled before he leaned in for another kiss. "I love you" you told him.

"I love you too" he smiled.

The End

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A/N: aahhh! I hope you loves liked it!

[ericstoltz]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

[anachronisims]

Get to know you: Sims Style

thanks @eulaliasims !

What’s your favorite Sims death?

What a macabre start to the survey lol… I hardly ever let my sims die, so kind of none, but my least least-favorite is probably dying of fright.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Club Crimson and GoS foreverrrrrr (but I'll take whatever's out there, I really don't care tbh)

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Lol you can tell they wrote this survey for TS4 players… yes, sometimes the game makes them not-fat anymore and I'm like… no, really, that's not how this sim's metabolism works thanks

Do you move objects?

…do you NOT?

Favorite Mod?

There are a lot of new good ones but hands-down my ultimate all-time favorite is the Community Time mod by crammyboy, as later tweaked by Chris Hatch. I cannot live without this mod and it is 50% of the reason I hate playing TS4. Why is it suddenly an ISBI anytime someone leaves the house? Who wants to play that game??

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

Livin' Large

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

(a)LIVE Mode wtf do you also pronounce gif like the peanut butter?

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Any of my Meraki founders, they are my forever darlings

Have you made a simself?

Not since 2009

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Ew, gross. Natural: Shrapnel (which is BROWN), and Unnatural: HMX

Favorite EA hair?

Again… gross? #hideeverything

Favorite life stage?

Child, probably

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

The eternal question, isn't it?

Are you a CC creator?

I'm a CC adapter.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I'd like to think so! Shout-out to @niamh-sims, @fireflowersims, @fracturedmoonlight, and @gayars

Do you have any sims merch?

No but there is a plumbob tshirt on my Christmas list

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Technically yes, but I never posted my swimmable pond tutorial there because #adhd

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I was definitely a casual player/serious CC collector for most of the first decade of the game. I was probably one of the first people to experience pink flashing from overloading dense, urban neighborhoods, and the game never being able to handle my dreams (in aLIVE mode) limited my actual playtime substantially. I took a couple years off and then in 2016 or 2017 came back enraptured with the Test of Time challenge (and modifying the ToT challenge rules as much as anything). Meraki is my third iteration of that, working past neighborhood corruption (1ST attempt; 4th gen) and founder fatigue (2nd attempt; barely got off the ground, it was just too weird trying again). Now (lately) I'm back to regular modern play (which means CC collecting and neighborhood setup, apparently).

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Today, Jacky93sims lol. ATS for longevity. Adele for details. HS for the infinitely useful Arizona sofa lol

How long have you had Simblr?

Probably… 2018-2019? I think I got the idea for Meraki around the time of my honeymoon and that's when I came up with the name 'anachronisims,' and my prior tumblr was just a general purpose thought repository.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

Seasons. In any game. Seasons.

impossible to keep track of who's done these already especially since i can't keep a close eye on my dash so i assume these folks have already done it BUT i tag: @fireflowersims @fracturedmoonlight @moocha-muses @frauhupfner

[gruviaweek]

Ten years.

The first ever Gruvia Week was held in 2013. It is now 2023. Meaning, this is the 11th edition/Gruvia Week... but 10 years have passed since the creation of this blog and beloved event that’s been held on the exact same dates since the beginning (April 1st - April 7th). That’s right, the event date has never changed, never held early, nor late. To keep it this consistent and for so long is truly an accomplishment.

Thank you to all the wonderful fans that have kept this event alive for so long. It has been my pleasure to host this celebration for the last 10 years, and it’s because of you that I do so. All the dedicated Gruvia lovers deserve this. The fandom has changed a lot as time went on. People come and go. However, most notably, we have grown in more ways than one. Likewise, Gray and Juvia have gone through a tremendous amount of development in the last decade. They have confirmed mutual romantic love and a son that we have yet to meet in earthland, but still very much canon in the manga and drawn by the author (Hiro Mashima) of his own accord on multiple occasions. Despite this, we are still waiting for the day they “officially” get together. The setup and foreshadowing is there... He wants it, so Gray, confess to Juvia soon!

In the meantime, we celebrate the ship once again. Here are the official Gruvia Week 2023 prompts displayed in the image above. Just like in previous years these prompts are not complicated, but they are broad and meant to make you think. Be creative. Interpret them however you see fit. If you don’t know what a word means, look it up. Specific and basic prompts would result in different versions/entries of the same thing. That’s why Gruvia Week is so successful every year; imagination. Prompts for this event are always different every year. No repeats! See: Previous Gruvia Week editions

Those who are new to the week, unfamiliar, or would like to simply rehash, please click here to learn how to participate. Also be sure to follow the rules and guidelines. Feel free to ask questions, however please check this blog’s previous posts before submitting them. It’s possible your question could have already been answered.

Reminder: All pieces must be new. Old works will not be reblogged/included in the week. Be sure to specify the day/prompt used in your post. If you don’t have a tumblr, you can still participate. Post your work on any social media platform for that target audience. Participate anywhere; the more the merrier! However, if you’d like your work to be posted/featured here as well, be sure to submit it to this blog. Or submit the link to it (if posted on another platform such as twitter, instagram, wattpad, ao3, etc).

Reminders:

Tag your work with #gruvia week (with the space) within the first five tags.

Avoid using links in your post, as there is a chance it will not show up in the tags. Try using only five tags and no links if your post does not appear. If you must use a link, make sure it shows in the tags.

If your work contains an image or gif, make sure it’s within tumblr’s photo dimensions and size limits. Sometimes big images cause posts to not appear in tags.

It is YOUR responsibility to make sure your post shows up in the mobile and/or pc tags, so be sure to check if it does.

Gruvia Week will be held from April 1st - April 7th as always. Get ready and get creative!

Graphic/art by the wonderful and talented @goodnightlover. Thank you! ♡

[mrs-gauche]

Hello, would you mind sharing what program you use to create gifs? They are so gorgeous but everything I can find is a much lower quality. ❤️

Hey there! :) Thank you so much!! I feel so flattered and I really appreciate the ask! <333 So, I've actually seen quite a lot of people asking how I create my gifs in the tags or comments over time and even though it kinda feels like being an illusionist revealing their little magic tricks, I'll try my best to show what my process is and why it often takes me a lot of time (and tears of frustration) to get footage like this. 😁

Generally speaking, all my screenshots and gifs are taken with the DAI Cinematic Tool or so called "flycam" (here’s a link to download it, older links don’t seem to work anymore), which basically allows you to move the camera freely within the map or a cutscene and let's you change some settings, like contrast, saturation, depth of field or lighting for example.

Outside of the flycam settings, the only mods I use for my gifs are animation or clothing mods, like for example the invisible weapons mod, the Trespasser armor for Solas or the "no frown face in idle animation" mod. (Fun fact, I don't use any cosmetic mods that change face textures/facial features. All my gifs and screenshots are vanilla Solas as he looks without mods. 🙂)

There are people who have done a far better job than I could ever do at giving an in depth tutorial on how all the controls and features of the flycam work (like here, here or here!), but the best advice I can give and that I've seen, is actually to simply mess around with it until you get the hang of it and figure things out as you go. 😁 To be honest, although I've always loved taking screenshots and gifs for myself, I've only gotten into using the flycam tool more seriously like a year ago and the way I take my footage just sort of evolved over time by, again, just messing around and experimenting a lot. So there might be a far more efficient and easier way to do this, but that's just the way I do it and how I like it. 😁

That being said, since there's still a lot more to it than that, here's a step by step process using an example under the cut. 🙂

1.) Ok, so the first thing I'll do is to make sure to have the right setup in order to take the footage.

For that, I basically use a split screen to have both the game and the DAI Cinematic tool windows open at the same time. This, for one, allows me to use the "freeze time" feature of the flycam (putting the entire game on hold/pausing it) at any given time, which is especially helpful when capturing cutscenes.

This doesn't work with every cutscene though, because there are scenes that will actually continue to play while pausing it.

(Cutscenes like these are the most difficult to capture, because without pausing it, you'll have to take your footage in "real time", so to speak. Meaning that you’ll only have a few seconds (or even LESS 😂) to capture the right moment. So what I'm doing then, is to basically go through the cutscene repeatedly using the flycam to watch it over and over again, until I have sort of memorized how a character will move at what time/in which place, in order to move the flycam to the right spot.)

The split screen also allows me to use this little trick, where I can just click outside the game window, so the game will continue to run but I can still move the flycam without moving the characters in-game.

The second most useful tool I use is an Xbox controller with USB adapter to connect with my PC. The cool thing about flycam is that it can be manually controlled with a keyboard and/or a console controller. This is incredibly helpful in navigating and moving the flycam *much* more precisely than with just the keyboard controls. But even when setting the movement speed of the flycam at the lowest, it's still super difficult to navigate the camera "cinematically", since it usually moves very fast and abruptly and is super sensitive to even the slightest "nudge" to the controller’s joysticks (which can also lead to some people getting kinda dizzy or even cause headaches when using the flycam). The key here is to move the joysticks and push the LT/RT buttons as delicately and slowly as possible, to create the effect of natural camera movement.

And this is actually the main reason why it often takes me many many many attempts to get the perfect shot, because most of the time the flycam will just.. go off if you're not super careful and delicate in your navigation. 😂 And with cutscenes, you also only ever have one chance to get it right, since otherwise you will need to reload the scene over and over again and redo all your settings (not to mention cutscenes that are unskippable in order to get to another.. The amount of times I had to sit through The Dawn Will Come, I tell ya 💀) So you see why it can take *a lot of time*. 😁

2.) So with everything set up, it's now time to choose a scene/location, camera position/angle and decide what are the most suitable settings. A lot of this is actually about experimenting with different settings. I personally don't really have a standard setting I prefer, as it always kinda depends on the scene, but here are a few settings I use a lot:

The things marked in red are what I use most often, everything else really depends on what I think looks best for each individual scene, so all of this can still differ a lot. Again, it’s all about experimenting here, which to me personally is actually the most fun part in this. :)

(My advice, don’t mess around with the MISC settings too much, because this is what upscales the game’s resolution and will be heavy on your computer and can cause the game to crash if you combine it with a heavy blur factor for example. (-1) is the default. I usually scale it up to 15 - 20 in cutscenes or even lower if I want to do a super enhanced close up shot. To avoid a crash, I advice to simply scale down back to default after you’ve taken your screenshot.)

Here are a few examples for how the flycam settings and a little bit of editing can transform a scene:

Ok, so we’ve chosen a scene and the right settings, now it’s time to actually capture the footage you want to gif or screenshot. Here’s a step by step process using a cutscene of Cole’s personal quest as an example:

So this is the cutscene as it's played without flycam or any changes to the settings in-game:

The same cutscene from a different angle using flycam, paused with the "freeze time" feature I've mentioned: 

Choosing lighting, saturation, contrast, depth of field, fog, tonemap settings.

Step by step:

End result compared with no settings: 

Set the flycam movement speed to (1). Disable "freeze time" feature, play the cutscene, while simultaneously moving the left joystick of the controller veeeery slightly to the right and the right joystick to the left.

(Of course, make sure to always have your screen recording program running in the back. The most frustrating thing that can happen is if you manage to capture THE perfect moment and then realize it wasn't recording. That's actually why I have something called ShadowPlay by Nvidia Geforce Experience, which always captures the last 30 seconds of your screen.)

3.) So! Now that we have our footage and the most difficult part is done, I will pick my favorite shots and put them in a video editing program. Here I need to crop it (cut away the split screen), cut the footage down to the moments I want to gif, slow it down to about half the speed (more or less, depending on what looks the best for the scene) and then lastly, edit it slightly with a few filter effects. After all that's done, I will export the footage to MP4 video format.

4.) Finally, I will import that video into photoshop, change the image size, choose the right number of frames, adjust the delay time of the frames (if needed) to partially slow it down/speed it up and make some final tweaks on brightness, contrast and color balance. Export it into gif format and make sure it's not crossing the MB size limit for gifs on tumblr. Aaaand it's done! 🙂🙂

As I said, it took me some time to figure all this out myself and the process really evolved over time as I was trying out different settings and experimenting with the flycam. :)

With Inquisition being almost eight years old now and having played it so many times many of us know most of these scenes by heart, what motivated me to do this and what I try to do, is to simply look at this game from a perspective that no one might have seen yet (and to make the wait for DA4 maybe just a little bit more bearable 😂) and even though it can get very frustrating at times, I still have a lot of fun creating and I think the end result is really worth the struggle! 😁 <3

(Also, I just really love Solas. lmao <3)

I hope this helped for better understanding, I know I skipped over many of the technically details of the flycam, but the links I put in at the beginning will do a far better job than me to explain them, so please check them out as well. :)

All this being said, I can’t wait to make gifs of *actual* new content when DA4 finally arrives!! I’m brimming with excitement at the prospect of next gen graphics and... improved camerawork, animations and cinematics, because tbh although I love Inquisition despite all its flaws (and it looks amazing for a game that came out in 2014!), I can definitely see the restrictions and difficulties the poor camera guy at BioWare had to face, while using the Frostbite engine for the first time. 😂

[aliypop]

Why Do You Love Me

Word Count: 2.2625

Warning: language

Writers Note: I haven't abandoned my Peaky Fic Idea's but I've been back on my Batman binge, so please enjoy this fic. I do not own the gif, also yes I mixed a bit of BaleBat Brucie to create Batflecks Brucie I like them both equally... and yes in my head Harvey Dent Is played by Oscar Issac

Pairing: OC x Canon

Genre: Romance

Plot: Bruce Wayne has been gone for 7 sluty sluty years, but it isn't until he makes an appearance back in Gotham does he realize that the best thing he's got going for him is his best friend and confidant.

Taglist:

@herosneednotapply

@runnning-outof-timeing-outof-time

@brucieboy297

GCPD

"Mind if I ask a dumb question..." 

"Better than anyone I know," filing her nails as she looked at the Guatemalan American man before her. He had crinkles near his brown eyes from long nights at the firm and a two-faced smile, "What's it between you and Wayne..." Yazela rolled her eyes, sitting in her office on one of the coldest days in Gotham, 

"I haven't seen him in seven years, so there's nothing to say on that topic,"

"We haven't seen you in seven years either, princess..."

"It's Her Grace the quee-"

"Aha, I knew it was you! The alien princess," he laughed as she rolled her eyes, "For the youngest DA, you're so immature, Harvey," she playfully pushed him, "And shut it, will you? Gordon doesn't know he thinks I'm some charity case." she whispered, 

"Living in Wayne Manor." Harvey laughed as his dark locks moved with every chuckle, 

"It's better than the streets of Gotham City, New Jers-"

"Detective Adathia, the phones for you," Gordon said, peaking into her office, 

"Dent..."

"Gordon..."

"Tell them I'll call later," she said, trying to break the tension in the room.

"Calls from Wayne Manor. A Man name Pennyworth says it's urgent..." standing from her office chair Yazela nearly raced to the phone. She'd hoped everything was okay at home. After all, she'd only been back in Gotham for about a month, and aside from work, she'd been helping Alfred with household chores since when you have powers, it makes dusting a breeze. 

"Alfred, are you alright, are your hurt? Did something happen,"

" Jumping to the worst conclusions, first are we, Ms. Adathia..." the older man said. She could hear the grin on his lips,

"It's as if nothing changed...." a voice in the background said, the hairs on her neck raised, "Alfred, who's in the house with you..." pushing the long forgotten fussy feeling aside to only worry, "Why don't you come home and find out for yourself." now she was scared, for all she knew he could be held captive and the call was a setup, "Gordon I'm taking the rest of the day off."

"I didn't dismiss you yet, detective,"

"It's an emergency..." Jim gave her a nod as she continued to walk out the door, "Be safe, your majesty..." Gordon mumbled under his breath as the Honey and Umber-skinned woman glanced back at him,

 "Nothing gets by me,"

Wayne Manor

If it was one thing Yazela loved most about driving home was the landscape of Bristol Township, it always felt like home because it reminded her of her own home. The clear blue skies and the beautiful white marshmallow clouds were beyond different from the gloomy smog smoke clouds known as Gotham. Here she could breathe fresh air, but in the city, you were lucky if you inhaled cigarette smoke. As she drove, Yazela saw the sign reading " Welcome to Crest Hill community." where every inch of land was topped with mansions almost as big as her palace on her home planet, 

Parking her Porsche in front of the mansion, she placed her keys in her pocket and walked up the steps to the front door and inside the place she had called. 

"Alfred, I'm-"

"Yazela..."

"Bruce?" was all he could hear, arms opened wide as the slightly shorter woman ran into them, 

"You're still short, huh, martian..." holding her tight, afraid that if he'd let go, she'd crumble away like his parents, "And you need a shave." Yazela laughed, touching his face, "Thought women liked beards..."

"When they're neat and clean." she scoffed, "And stop calling me Martian," she growled, releasing her from the hug he laughed, looming over her,

 "Make me..." with a swish of her wrist, she pulled the rug from under him, causing him to fall, 

"Alfre, A little help here..."

"Yazela, mind helping me with supper."

"I would be honored," the two walking past Bruce, rolling his brown and blue-ringed eyes at her,

"So you two have been here all these 7 years..." Bruce asked, sitting on the countertop, being he had been band from the kitchen since the big grease fire he caused at 16 years old, "I just returned last month from Pafrania, but it's mostly been Alfred keeping everything in order," Yazela shrugged her shoulders, "Mmm... careful with the lobster," her focus on prepping the dish, she didn't no not didn't she couldn't look at Bruce, not when he was glancing down at her with those ever so soft eyes of his and that cute no stupid smug look on his face, that she wanted to kiss right off him, 

Kiss did she think about kissing her best friend. Clearly, her brain was lagging from a lack of sleep and endless cases. Kissing Bruce Wayne, the man before her whose hair looked like a mangy dog that only a little girl could love to tell her mother to keep it. No, she was going mad, a bit daffy even. 

"Shit..." she mumbled under her breath,

"Are you okay..." Bruce inspected her finger, looking at the cause for her cursing.

"It's just a small alaveck..."

" A what?" Bruce looked at her with furrowed brows,

"It's like a small slip in the skin, and it bleeds and-"

"A cut," his tone of voice a bit dead-panned as he held back his laughter, "Yeah, a cut." Yazela pulled her finger away from him, 

"I'll go find a band-aid." 

"How about you just get out of the kitchen..." she shooed him off, embarrassed about how close the two were, meanwhile watching from the shadows was Alfred, Alfred wouldn't outright say that Bruce and or Yazela needed to make a move towards their feelings but nine years of this duo beating around the bush can tire an old butler like himself out.

"So, where were you for all those years," Yazela asked, poking at her Mulligatawny soup, Bruce's favorite aside from Lobster Thermador and French Onion, 

"Studying all that I could, what about you. You were gone too." 

"Coronated," she smiled, "My mother asked about you." 

"She knows I exist?" eating his soup,

 "Through letters throughout the years, but yes, she knows you exist," she finally started to eat, a thing Alfred hadn't seen her do in weeks, "Anyways, your birthday is coming up, and I know we go all out, but this year, I was thinking maybe we-" Bruce began to yawn,

 "Maybe we..." another yawn, "We could..." she sighed, her fingers pinching her nose aggravated by Bruce, sure things had changed about Bruce. But he was still the Bruce she remembered, 

"Fine, guess you won't know what I'm getting you for your big day." shoving a spoonful of soup from his bowl into her mouth,

 "You have your own, and tell me," 

"You'll just yawn again." she teased, "And besides, I need to rest. I'm close to putting some clown guy where he belongs..." 

"You still work with Gordon?"

"Yes, is that a problem, Wayne?"

"I just think he likes you, Adathia," his face emotionless, trying to shove the jealous feelings taking over at the thought of someone liking his Yazela, 

"And I think it's time for me to sleep,"

"I think I'll join you," Yazela's cheeks flushed pink,

"Did I say something wrong,"

"No, no, no, you didn't... " 

"Perhaps you two could share a bed like old times. It helps me lots with the cleaning," Alfred suggested, 

"We were teenagers then,"

"And you two act like teenagers now," pointing to the empty dishes they left on the table, "I may be a butler, but that doesn't mean you can leave dirty dishes on the table." his glare like a stern father, the two both groaned and grumbled as Alfred had a smirk on his face, "And just for that you are going to share a room and wash those dishes," 

"But Alfred!"

"No buts,"

It was 10:47pm, and the two had finished washing dishes and putting them away. Now they were in Bruce's old bedroom, not that it was anything to sneeze about, though it had been so long since she'd been inside his room when he first left, she couldn't bring herself to go inside missing her best friend and not seeing him there felt wrong and heartbreaking, 

"You really don't have to do this,"

"Your bed is better than mine," throwing her blouse over the dressing divider, Bruce caught it, folded it, and placed it on a chair. 

"I see... Alfred could've moved you to the master bedroom," 

"That's your parents' room, technically your room... I couldn't take that from you," stepping out from behind the divider dressed in a midnight blue silk nightgown, the moon shining on her like a spotlight, and Bruce was nearly speechless. If the lights were on, he'd have been as red as a boiled crab, 

"You can have it, really..."

"Right, well, I'm going to sleep." she got under the covers, Bruce joining her, "You want a pillow between-" Yazela began to snore, 

"us." 

Gotham City - 1 Month Later

"Aye Zel, you seein this shit?" one of her co-workers asked, "What happened this time..." her dark hair in a bun, the two ran around towards the crime scene, "Some Gotham Wacko's going around using circus parlor tricks leaving around Joker car-" a clown head shaped bomb rolled it's way towards the two detectives, 

"You tell Gordon to call for backup now..."

"What are you going to do,"

"Get rid of that bastard clown..." running into the alleyway, Yazela held her breath, staying clear of the gas-like substance surrounding her,

 "Hey, gorg-" a pair of hands were on her waist as she elbowed the goon in the ribs, a clown mask hiding his identity. As he groaned in pain, a few more came circling around her, some with weapons, others with their fist locked and loaded. Pulling one by his hair, Yazela swung him into two of his friends, another she roundhouse kicked, and one she punched in the nose, but what she hadn't noticed was the goon behind her approaching her with a gun in hand, swooping down from the buildings was the caped crusader disarming the gunman and sending him back screaming he ran to Yazela, 

"I didn't need your help..." 

"He could've shot you..." his voice rasped out, thinking what would have happened had she gotten hurt, 

"But he didn't."

"I don't want to see you hurt,"

"And I don't want to see you arrested, Bruce," she said loud enough for only him to hear.

 "Adathia..."

"How'd you..."

"Just go!" 

"Adathia, you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Take these assholes in custody. I'll meet you back at GCPD, Gordon," she looked into the sky, seeing Bruce whiz by on a grappling hook through the stars. There was a slight love-sick look on her face, one she couldn't shake off and one she wished she could, "You like Mysterious men, eh..."

"Shut up, Bullock." 

Pushing past him, Yazela snarled at him, 

Wayne Manor

"How would she know it's me..." Bruce asked Alfred, who was patching him up,

 "Has it occurred to you, you both practically grew up together,"

" Funny Alfred,"

"I'm not being humorous, I assure you." The Joker hadn't done much damage to Bruce, but enough for him to hide his bruises before his birthday party, Alfred had invited everyone he once knew, from his Gotham Academy days to his days in Yale, he knew Bruce wouldn't like it, but he needed to socialize with people who weren't just Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, Luke Fox, and or Yazela,

 "Besides, she wakes up next to you every morning, unlike those models you've been caught with..."

"That's different," cleaning up the cuts as Alfred helped him get dressed. 

"How so..."

"Well, she's a friend,"

"But Ms. Vale isn't..." 

"Alfred, I don't have time for this." walking off as he fixed his hair, his iconic part. The room foyer was filled with faces that he once knew. They now felt like strangers in a sea of the trauma he'd never forget. Sure, there were endless presents and food, but there was only one person he wished was there, 

"Shit... shit ... shit fucking turn green already!" Yazela shouted, driving in her sapphire blue gown. She didn't want to be late. After all, she had gotten Bruce something he'd never forget. Turning in hot, she had finally arrived at the manor,

"So Bruce... seeing anyone..." a woman asked, drinking champagne. His glance was towards the door, distracted and not interested by their small talk tonight. Here he was, a glass of ginger ale in hand, smiling, nodding, and flirting senselessly, 

"Looking for someone?" Luke pointed towards the door,

"Sorry I'm late, Bruce..." Yazela glanced at him in his suit, her brain completely foggy from the site. She'd seen him clean up dozens of times, but. For some reason, this time was different. Maybe it was because of the bowtie, or how he was pretending to drink champagne or-

The prettiest girl in the room has officially made it." he winked at her, taking her by the arm. He felt honored to have her by his side, even if he could never find the words to say, "Should I introduce you as a Queen." 

"It's your party, Bruce, introduce me however you'd like." Yazela leaned in to fix his tie, his heart beat so loud a Kryptonian could hear it, "Your bow was crooked," 

"Have you met Her Grace Yazela Adathia," a few of his guests bowed to her, "Oh, please don't bow. I'm simply Bruce's friend," she giggled, 

"Oh... he hadn't told me about you... such a lovely friend adorned in so many diamonds," the young woman said, "I'm Marsha, by the way, darling," kissing her hand as Bruce looked at her, both suspicious of her, "Nice to meet you..." as the night went on and Bruce introduced her back into society, Yazela was standing next to his cake, watching from afar as a cluster of women gathered around him, she wasn't jealous, or furious, she was worried seeing how uncomfortable he really was around the group of women, as much as he was good as acting as a playboy he only had room for once woman in his life and that was,

"Brucie Bear, there you are," Yazela grabbed him by the hand,

"Brucie Bear?" 

"Yes, that's what I call my... fiance who hasn't opened his present from me yet."

"My fiance?" nudging him right where he had a bruised rib, "Yes, my fiance, my little martian." he leaned in, 

"You owe me, Yazela,"

"Kiss me..." 

"What?"

"Everyones looking, so kis-" Bruce pecked her on the lips quickly, the woman around him pouting and walking away, "Now go open your present, Brucie Bear." she teased. Yet again, "Fine... " following behind him, Yazela handed him the box watching him carefully tear into it. She couldn't help but smile at his face when he unraveled a box of special edition Gray Ghost merchandise signed, by the man himself, 

" You love me or something," Bruce asked, pulling her close to him, her heart pounding at the question.

"Of course, you brown-haired, brownish-blue-eyed, bat-dressing idiot." she pulled him close by his bowtie, 

"Good cause I think I love you too." dipping her for a kiss, the room got quiet as Alfred softly cheered amongst himself, 

"You owe me a date, Wayne," 

"Will a Gray Ghost Marathon work?" 

"You get the pillows, I'll get the blankets," watching Bruce run off, there was a hand on Yazela's shoulders twisting the arm back. She then looked at who it was.

"HARVEY?"

"I knew there something between you two... soon ontop of-" twisting his arm again "OUCH OUCH OKAY!" 

[haxxy]

just submitted a feedback thing to tumblr for the first time in my like... 10 years on this site, which feels crazy

it's wild to think that i've been here through so many changes, the yahoo acquisition, the porn ban, etc, but the shit that they've been doing lately was the final straw to get me to reach out directly

if you want to see my shitty text dump of a feedback submission, it's below the cut. I'm sure it'll probably just get ignored by staff, but I encourage everyone else who's pissed off about the stuff that's been happening to vocalize it in a way that's more direct than just pinging staff. They can't ignore all of us.

I'm generally not the type to send in feedback like this, but I've heard that this is the best way to reach out to staff, so I'm giving it a shot.

The changes being made on tumblr's mobile app are detrimental to the user experience. Altering the way photos and videos are formatted/viewed is unnecessary, and removing the ability to pinch to zoom will negatively impact accessibility.

Changing the mobile layout to have the tumblr mart icon replace the user icon is also a frustrating addition. It is fine to have tumblr mart and to make it accessible on mobile, but putting it in the bottom lineup and moving blog access into the upper corner comes across as an obnoxious advertising attempt. Tumblr mart should be displayed in the upper corner if it's displayed anywhere at all. In its current location, it just feels like an attempt to get people to misclick on it due to muscle memory. I have purchased things from tumblr mart before (blaze, crabs), but the more that it is pushed on users (first the "new" banner, then the sparkles, now the sparkling GIF and the icon being moved on mobile), the less I feel like I want to use it. I'm sure that others feel the same way.

Also, please either get rid of tumblr live or add a way to disable it permanently. I have not seen a single person talk about wanting this feature and it is a huge hassle to snooze it every week.

Tumblr is a website that people enjoy because of its differences. Trying to replicate the features of other social media sites comes across as an unoriginal cash grab at worst and a failure to listen to the userbase at best. Surely there's a way to implement interest checks on these features before rolling them out large scale, especially now that polls exist?

I've been on tumblr since 2012, so I've seen a lot of changes over the years, but the ones taking place recently have stood out as especially questionable. Generally, when major changes have occurred, there has at least been an effort to explain why they are taking place. Even if nothing is reversed from the current setup, could we at least get more announcements stating the reasoning for these decisions being made?

Thank you

[zachwalton]

Home WAN Failover with UDM Pro

If recurring cloud service fees for hobby projects cause death by a thousand cuts, I'm feeling like I did the first few times Ashina Elite - Jinsuke Saze kicked my ass in Sekiro:

...but my SRE day job long ago scared me off single points of failure, so I've been hesitant to host services that real users depend on--mostly https://life4ddr.com and https://truebpm.dance--at home.

But then we moved to our new home, where the prior owners had installed a couple of 13.5 kWh Tesla Powerwalls in the garage, and I realized I had power redundancy for the first time. This got me thinking about what it would take to build a sufficiently HA environment at home for hosting community projects and, well, there's work left to do to answer that question.

Might as well start with...

Redundant ISPs!

Step 1: ISPx2

Step 1 is easy: We pay $80/mo for AT&T Gigabit fiber as our primary ISP. I've had a (deactivated) Starlink RV dish and have been waiting for the chance to use it.

The primary downsides of Starlink for RVs are a) the slightly higher cost than residential Starlink ($135/mo vs. $110/mo for residential), and b) RV users are throttled during periods of high demand. In practice, this has never happened to me; I'm on the waitlist for a residential plan.

Starlink is fairly fast:

And the latency to google.com is eehhh, ok:

So why not another fiber or broadband provider?

I've been enjoying not paying Comcast too much

The Starlink dish was sitting in my closet

They're hobby projects, not payment processors that need 5+ 9s of availability and sub 10ms latency

(the primary line kinda never goes down anyway)

Off the griiiiidddd

etc.

Installation is a cinch if you cut corners:

Put it on the roof

Do a great job running and hiding the cables, definitely no eyesores here (not pictured)

(sorry to devon)

Through the wall and into the router

First time using this stuff to seal the hole drilled for the cable, plus some Sikaflex concrete sealant since, unlike regular silicone caulk, it can be painted once dried.

There may be an embarrassing part omitted here involving drilling into an "electrical wire", panicking, and in the end discovering that it was chicken wire & part of the stucco...

Not pictured: cable grommet for the 1" hole that has not yet arrived from Amazon

"That's a giant hole" Yeah, because of this thing :(

The official routing kit comes with a 3/4" drillbit. I used the 1" drillbit I had on hand.

Final result:

Step 2: Automated failover

At this point, I had a separate SSID that I could manually switch devices to, but I didn't want to have to deal with doing that manually when I'm away from home. And I might not always be available, and don't want users waiting until I am...

Enter the Ubiquiti Dream Machine (UDM) Pro!

Ok, so I really just copied a friend here without doing a ton of research:

But it ticks the boxes:

WAN failover (WAN load balancing not supported... but we can handle a few seconds of downtime)

Remote management interface

...That's it?

It does way more than this, but my goals are not lofty.

Once it arrived, it only took a few minutes for initial setup:

Plugged primary modem into WAN port 2, SFP+ 10gb (with an RJ-45 adapter)

Plugged Starlink router into WAN port 1 (with a Starlink ethernet adapter)

Turned on the UDM Pro, paired via bluetooth and finished guided setup through the iOS app

I then changed the port configuration to make WAN 2 primary and WAN 1 secondary. In my head this felt like a step toward >1Gb home Internet (AT&T offers 5 Gb today 😱). In practice, this led to a lot of packet loss and continual failovers to the backup link; it's probably an issue with the adapter or cable somewhere in the chain but i didn't feel like figuring it out.

I then discovered that you can configure port 8 as the secondary WAN link, and shuffled connections around so both WANs were cabled without the need for an adapter. This fixed the failover flapping and packet loss.

Somewhere along the way I also changed the echo server from the default Ubiquiti server to Google DNS (8.8.8.8). Ubiquiti pings the echo server to make the decision to fail over or not. I'm not sure this contributed to solving my issues, but it has for some

Success!

And kind of a sick name...

I didn't have to simulate failover because I broke things plenty of times during the setup process:

In practice, I saw 5-10 seconds of packet loss before Starlink took over. And automated recovery when AT&T started pinging again! More than adequate for users of a DDR BPM calculator.

What's left?

Ok, redundant power + Internet. But how do users get to a server deployed in my house when the IP changes on failover? Dynamic DNS? Do I go full Brad Fitzpatrick and shell out $12k+ on a /24 of IPv4 space, and create my own ASN + anycast from my house? (probably not) Am I going to deploy CRITICAL DANCE GAME SERVICES on a SINGLE DESKTOP MACHINE!? (obviously not) I don't know. Hopefully we will find out together in a subsequent post.

[captainchilly]

How I Make Gifs

It’s been over a year and a half since I made my last version so I’d figure I’d make an updated one.

This is meant to be beginner level so if you’re looking for my coloring technique skip to the coloring section (step 7).

Tools I use: ‣ OBS Studio (free to download; for obtaining video) ‣ Photoshop CC

If you have any questions, send me a message :) 

The Basics

Step 1: Obtain the video of what you’re giffing 

I exclusive use screen-recording now because I just find it easier. Currently I use OBS Studio to screen-record. It’s super easy to use and it’ll screen record on most streaming services (How I setup my OBS here). I usually just record the scene/clip I’m going to gif as to avoid huge files.

I previously used to download torrents or screen record using Screencastify on Chrome.

Step 2: Load your video into Photoshop

To load your video into PS click File > Import > Video Frames to Layers then navigate to your video file and open it.

You’ll then get a pop-up like the one below and you can use the highlighted sliders to select which part of the video you want to load into frames for your gif and just load it in. (Note: I usually load in multiple gif’s frames and separate but for this example I’ll use the one)

Step 3: Delete Excess Frames

When importing the frames sometimes you grab a couple frames you don’t want so now it’s time to cut them out. To do this click the first frame you want to delete and Shift+Click to the last frame. Once the frames are highlighted click the trash can, circled below. (Note: if your photoshop loads the frames in timeline view instead of frame animation view click the icon to the far left in the image below to switch it.)

Repeat this for the end of the gif as well if needed.

Step 4: Re-size the Gif

The width and height of your gifs can pretty much be anything and Tumblr will shrink or stretch accordingly as long as your gif is under 8 MB. These are the widths tumblr shrinks the gifs to (which is what I use for my gif widths usually):

‣ For one gif per line a 540px width is used. ‣ For two gifs per line a 268px width is used.

To resize your file click Image > Image Size then put in the width you’re using. Make sure that your width and height are linked (icon circled below) so the image doesn’t end up looking wonky!

Now you can crop your image if you chose by selecting Image > Canvas Size. For the set I’m making in this tutorial I’m adjusting the height to 250px.

Step 5: Changing the speed of the gif (Optional, based on how the gif looks)

When my gifs load into Photoshop they tend to speed up for some reason. To change this you just need to adjust the delay.

Start by selecting all the frames (under the circled 3 lines) then click on the current delay and edit it. I usually make the delay 0.03 sec but it all depends on how it looks.

Step 6: Saving Gif(s)

To save your new gif select File > Export > Save for Web. Make sure to look at the gif size in the bottom left corner of the pop up. The number should be under 10MB or it may not work well on Tumblr.

Congrats! You now have a gif! You can stop here if you want (though I do still recommend jumping to Step 12 to sharpen the gif). Here’s what it looks like right now:

My Gif Coloring

So now you have a gif but you were hoping for it to be brighter or more vibrant. Well here’s the next steps! Please note that most of this is just creative choice so do what you think looks nice and mess around with it until you find your style.

Step 7: Make a folder for all your adjustments (optional step)

I make a folder to put all my coloring settings in so I can easily duplicate it to the other gifs. Make sure the folder is above all the layers of the gif. The folder button is at the bottom of your layers menu.

Step 8: Lighting

There are a lot of techniques to brighten up (or darken) your gifs, it all depends on your personal style and what you’re looking for. I like bright gifs so I use multiple kinds of brightening layers.

I like to light my gifs using both the brightness/contrast layer and the curves layer. These adjustments are under the icon to the left of the folder. For the brightness layer I just kinda slide it till the gif is bright, it can always be adjusted later. For curves I like to make two points one in the empty space in the top right and one over the graph shown, something like this:

This is my gif now:

Step 9: Vibrance/Saturation and Balancing It

Now I add a Vibrance/Saturation layer and add about 20-40 vibrance depending on the scenes coloring.

Vibrance tends to make the colors more yellow (Saturation tends to add more red) so I use a Color Balance layer to make the colors more normal. With Color Balance you just slide the slider away from whatever color your gif currently shows. To get rid of yellow you slide in more blues, for green you slide in magentas, for cyans you slide in more reds. Just mess around with it until you get something you like as this is all dependent on your coloring style.

This is our gif now:

Step 10: More Coloring!

Now it’s just some small adjustments left. I basically just mess around with different Selective Color settings until I get something I like. Usually I decrease the yellows, increase the cyan in the reds category, and add 2-5% in black section under the blacks category.

This is what I have now:

Step 11: Duplicate your Coloring Folder to all gifs in the set

So you don’t have to individually recolor every gif you can just duplicate the folder with the coloring layers by right clicking the folder then selecting “Duplicate Group” and select which document to duplicate the folder to.

Note: if your gif is a different angle or shot then it may take some slight adjustments to color it.

Step 12: Sharpen you Gifs

I use the technique in the link to sharpen my gifs. Click Here!

I did make a heftier sharpening action then what is in the tutorial that can do up to 250 frames. You can download here.

Here’s the gif now:

Step 13: Adding Text

To add text click on the “T” icon in the Photoshop tool bar then click anywhere on your image and type out your text.

For my text I usually use the Calbri font in bold and italic at size 15/16 for my 540px gifs and 12 for my 268px gifs. Text color is personally preference but I usually use white for one character and yellow for a second character.

Once you have your text typed out you’ll want to click all three of these before you move it or add any style to it to keep the style and position uniform:

Now that the text is unified I add a stroke and a drop shadow. To do this double click on the space between the “T” and the text in the sidebar pictured above. A popup will show up click on stroke and adjust the settings then repeat with drop shadow. These are my settings: 

And just position the text where you want it. I usually center it and have it about 0.46cm from the bottom edge of the image.

Repeat this for all the gifs that have text.

Step 14: Saving Gif(s) and Posting

Select File > Export > Save for Web and look for the file size. Remember the gif needs to be UNDER 10MB.

More frames, brighter coloring, more colors, larger sizes usually lead to more MBs so sometimes in my bigger files I check the save page a few times to make sure I’m within the tumblr limits.

When posting to Tumblr I make sure to save the set as a draft first to make sure it looks okay on the platform (and on mobile). I also use it as a way to proofreading my text again.

When posting I use edit tags, show tags, and character tags (only for the characters in the set) and schedule the post (I don’t think this matters but it helps me keep my posting time consistent).

And that’s it! Once you get the hang of it it’s way more fun than it sounds!

Here’s a comparison of the gifs

Original:

Original with Sharpening:

Finally gif:

Link to the finished set!

[sweetkingdomstarlight-blog]

How about #1 with Lee!

Pairings - Modern Lee Bodecker x Female Reader

Words - 1355

Warnings - none

a/n - Thanks for the prompt Star, I did a modern AU for a change and made it super fluffy. Not beta’d so all these mistakes are my own. Gif is not Lee but there isn’t enough gifs for me to use

It was meant to be a nice weekend away, you would see your best friend get married, spend some time with her family and get a little bit drunk. If you hooked up with someone at the party then even better in your opinion. 

You arrived at the resort and were handed a warm brandy to take the chill off, the hotel was high up in the mountains and it was freezing, taking a sip of the amber liquid you already felt ready to take on the rest of your day. It all went downhill fast after that.

The room you had booked months and months ago was oversold and as you were the last one to arrive it meant there was nowhere for you to go. You grabbed your phone and quickly looked for anything else but it was useless, there was nothing for miles around. Your best friend arrived at the desk 10 mins later but there was no other solutions, you would have to bunk with someone. Your options were her creepy Uncle Dennis, not gonna happen, her cousin Ryan who you knew sleepwalked or the best man who you hadn’t met yet.

He was called Lee and she assured you he was lovely, he’d probably take the sofa while you had the bed and he wasn’t creepy. Given that you had no other options you accepted it, getting a room key made from the receptionist you made your way upstairs to unpack and hopefully have a nice hot shower.

You were pleasantly surprised how neat and tidy the place was, he had lined everything up on the bathroom shelf, his clothes had even been hung up in the wardrobe and the lingering smell of his aftershave made you smile. Just as you were hanging up your dress for the ceremony he came back to the room. He looked you up and down and smiled before holding his hand out and kissing the back of yours when you went to shake it. The small gesture made you smile at him and you filled him in on the drama you’d had so far, he agreed he would take the sofa even though you insisted you should, he wouldn’t hear of it and made the sofa up with the spare linens from the wardrobe.

You took a much needed shower after unpacking what you needed and were halfway through shaving your legs when the room went dark and the water went off “Lee? Whats happening?” You shouted out at him, screaming when opened the door to place your phone down on the counter with the torch on so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. Using the tiny bit of light you managed to finish your legs before wrapping a towel around you and stepping out into the now very cold room. “Any idea whats happened?” 

The room was absolutely freezing, you were shivering from the cold and goosebumps had erupted all over your skin. You quickly looked for something to throw on when Lee threw a jumper at you and turned around as you put it on to give you some privacy. It was so warm and fluffy and just what you needed but you climbed under the covers anyway to warm up properly. Lee joined you on the bed, sitting on top of the blankets and turning to face you “we should probably get to know each other better if we’re going to be sharing a room, are you a sleep talker? Do you snore? Or worse, do you sleep cuddle?” You burst out laughing at the silliness of his question and denied having any of those issued before throwing it back at him and raising your eyebrow in challenge.

You lay talking and giggling at each other into the night, the hotel dropped off hot chocolate and extra blankets for you both and apologised for the power and heat going off assuring you it would be working soon. It didn’t matter how much you wore or how many blankets you threw over yourself you just couldn’t warm up. Lee noticed this and offered to climb in bed with you, just for warmth of course, nothing else. You declined his ‘polite’ offer and said you’d go to sleep now, hoping that once you were more relaxed you’d warm up.

It had been two hours, you were still so cold, you couldn’t sleep and you couldn’t put anymore clothes on. Listening to Lee’s breathing you hoped it would help you relax but it didn’t “I can hear you thinking from all the way over here Princess” you sat up and wrapped your arms around yourself “I can’t warm up, I’m so cold” you tell him, your breath clouding in front of you in the cold air. He quickly stands up and before you can say no he climbs in bed with you, giving you no choice but to lay back down and hope some of his heat transfers to you.

He tries to hug you but you slap his hands away, he wraps a leg around yours and leans forward to whisper in your ear “you know princess if you just gave in you’d be warm by now.” You huff out loud and turn your body around to face him, saying calmly “quit touching me, your feet are cold” but he just laughs and pulls you even closer. You have to admit, at least to yourself, that he’s so warm. His bigger frame plus the soft hoodie and sweatpants he’s wearing feel really good, his feet are even starting to warm up now and you feel really cosy for the first time since the power went out, managing to finally drift off and get some sleep.

Waking up the next morning you freeze a little when you realise that you’re in the arms of Lee, a man you only met yesterday. You hurry to climb out of bed without waking him up and take yourself off for a shower, you breathe a sigh of relief that power had been restored through the night and stand under the hot stream hoping it’ll bring you back to life. Hearing him knocking on the door asking if you were going to be long had you rolling your eyes, you decided to be even longer but screamed when he opened the door and ran to the toilet claiming he couldn’t wait any longer. Covering yourself up with the shower curtain you scolded him for not at least asking first but he ignored you and flushed the toilet laughing when you jump away from the sudden cold water. 

All day at the wedding he would sneak glances your way to pull faces, whisper things in your ear so you would giggle at the wrong time and even managed to steal extra dessert for you both. You were both dancing at the evening party and having a great time when he stopped to grab you both some drinks, he was feeling too warm and needed a rest. While he was gone you danced with your best friend before a slow song came on, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Leaning against his chest you turned and got a fright when you saw the creepy uncle smiling down at you, “hey, thanks for keeping my Princess company” you moved out of his hold and moved to Lee silently thanking him and giggling with him when the man walked away grumbling.

“So I’m your Princess huh?” Looking up at him and running your fingers over his flushed cheeks, he couldn’t even make eye contact with you so you just hugged him, feeling him relaxing. “What do you say? Let me take you out for dinner, we do live in the same city and you have already slept with me.” You burst out laughing, playfully slapping his chest and nodding your head, over his shoulder you could see your friend enthusiastically giving you the thumbs up, you roll your eyes and laugh to yourself before looking up at Lee’s puzzled face “do you ever get the feeling like you’ve been setup?”

[pankomako]

there's probably like a million others out there already, but since im seeing a lot of my friends hop on tumblr due to the twitter situation i figured i'd give this a go. so, welcome to

panko's guide to tumblr!

i've been using this site for almost a year now, so i suppose i'm at least somewhat qualified to do this. i mainly just want to do this for fun honestly. i think lots of people have covered more of the setup and what to expect from tumblr as a whole so i think i'll focus on more of the usage of this site, because it's definitely much different from twitter, and, in my opinion, FAR better, plus that's the thing people seem to be the most confused about. so, here we go!

Post Features

the first thing you may notice is that tumblr has no character limit on posts! if you want to post a 10,000 word essay on the motives of your favorite character from the video game or tv show you're super into right now, nobody's stopping you. already so much more convenient than making threads on twitter.

there's a variety of options you can use to make your text more visually interesting, add emphasis, and/or organize your post! when you highlight text (at least on browser, i dont use the app), these options will appear above what you highlighted. you can make your text bold, italicized, bigger (on a new line), smaller, crossed out, or even colored! under the drop-down list there are other options too such as cursive text and lists. you can also add hyperlinks to text if you want. (this is all in the rich text editor, you can also switch to HTML or Markdown by going to your post settings.)

you can also add plenty of other media to posts! you can add up to 30 images which you can arrange however you please, although from my experience arranging images is kinda clunky, but still way better than twitter lol. you can also add gifs, videos (one per post), audio files (10 per post), and embed links. you can also add a cutoff line where everything under that line is hidden under a "read more" button, which is very useful for longer posts.

when you make a post, there is a space to add a title, but it's not required. most people don't add titles unless it helps with formatting.

you can also schedule a post to be posted at a certain time, queue posts to be posted on a consistent schedule, change who can reblog a post, and even save posts as drafts if you want/need to come back to them later.

Tags

Under every post you make/reblog, there is an option to add tags. these are in their own section under the post itself. you can add as many as you want afaik, but they can only be so many characters long. on tumblr, tags have multiple uses.

you can add tags that correspond to your post such as the topic or fandom (and characters/people involved), or whether it's art or photography, for example, to try to help get your post out there. it's preferred and just better in general to only add tags that are relevant to your post. don't tag character fanart as sports or food or pop music, but ESPECIALLY not an unrelated fandom.

you can also use tags to organize your blog and make it easier to find specific posts. you can tag your own art as "my art" and art you reblog from friends as "friends' art", and even create your own tags for specific topics you frequently post about, such as your oc world or a fandom fic or au you have. i personally don't use tags for organization much, but i do have my own tags for the two oc worlds i have. (you can do this even if you're not a fandom-goer or artist, these just serve as an example bc im both lol)

you can even use tags to add extra comments to a post. lord knows i do this a lot myself. lots of people will use tags to sort of ramble off-handedly under a post when it's not the main content of said post. this is especially common under reblogs - more on that later. since you can add spaces within tags, writing full sentences in the tags is easy and a very common practice. just be careful when using commas; adding a comma starts a new tag.

Notes

similarly to how twitter has likes, retweets and comments, tumblr has likes, reblogs and replies. however, these are all combined into one sum of notes. all notes on a post are compiled under the source post. by clicking on the number of notes under a post, you can see a list of all replies, likes and reblogs on a post, if you're curious like me.

on tumblr, likes act as more of a bookmarking tool. you can look at a list of all the posts you liked, and you can have this list displayed on your blog if you want, but likes do NOT increase the visibility of a post. if you want to help a post gain traction, you need to reblog it. if you don't want that post on your blog, but you want to let the person know that you've seen and enjoyed their post, you can leave a like as a small but kind gesture if you want. if you were playing minecraft, liking a post would be akin to punching a mob, but reblogging would be like using a sword. it may not necessarily be a powerful diamond sword, but it does more than a one-damage punch. i should also mention - you can only like a post once; if you like a reblog of a post, you like the source post and can't like separate reblogs of the post.

reblogs are the core of tumblr's functionality. this site does not have an algorithm, so reblogs are the only way for posts to circulate. it's probably pretty easy to figure out, but reblogs put another person's post on your own blog and on your followers' feeds. this is likely the biggest difference between tumblr and twitter: you can reblog a post as many times as you want, and you can add on to a post directly by reblogging, which is much different from a quote-tweet on twitter. also different from quote-tweets, all notes on reblogs are notes contributed to the source post. in a reblog, you can add a comment either in normal text or in the tags, and you can add images and gifs as well. it's common courtesy to put comments that don't contribute to the post in the tags, such as saying you think a post is funny. lots of famous tumblr posts are chains of reblogs - unlike on twitter where you can only retweet one tweet/reply at a time, you can reblog these reblog chains. you can also add the tags of the person you reblogged from to your own reblog if you want, though usually people just say "prev" if they liked the previous reblogger's tags.

replies are a convenient way to have a conversation under a post without repeatedly reblogging. although convenient, replies are limited in what you can do with them. they're text-only and have a character cap. but they're still a good way to add a quick comment to a post if you don't want it on your blog. you can also reply directly to a person in the notes of a post by mentioning them in your reply. replies can be deleted from a post or be turned off for a post entirely by the original poster.

I think that's about all you need to know to get started posting and reblogging, but please feel free to add on if i did happen to forget anything. thanks for reading and happy tumbling! :D

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Irresistible Danger - Part 53

Synopsis:  After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)

Words: 3,327

Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing

ID Masterlist can be found HERE

Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE

Author’s Note: The title for this chapter will make more sense once you read it (as will the gif choice), and I am SO excited for y’all to read this one *smirks*

A Ship Has Sailed 

By the time the Sanctuary appeared through the trees, an orange halo had formed where the sun was edging towards the horizon. In another hour that orange would be joined with pink, and they would take over all of the remaining blue before being consumed by the black of night. The lighting gave the large building a bit of a glow, but it also accentuated shadows and dark corners, making them appear longer. 

It served as a metaphorical reminder of whatever was happening between you and Negan. There had been a warm glow inside of you for the past 24 hours, since the resolution of the pregnancy test argument, and you wanted nothing more than to bask in the beauty of it. However, there were also still shadows and dark corners, parts that you were ignoring or straight up avoiding. You knew they wouldn’t go away on their own, no matter how wonderful the glow, and only you and Negan could confront those shadows together. The question was if confronting them would make them disappear...or cause them to grow until they completely overtook that glow, like a cloudy night with no stars. 

Your subconscious pulled out a large stick and began popping the intrusive thought bubbles, wanting no part of this damper on what had been a wonderful day. Agreeing for the moment, you tabled the thoughts, attention instead focusing on the upcoming front gate. There was a different guard on duty than when you left, due to the 6pm shift change that allowed both day and night guards the opportunity to attend dinner. But that wasn’t what had your attention; no, what you were fixated on was the fact that, despite being only a few feet away from said gate, Negan was still holding your hand. 

The guard’s eyes were watching as you approached, so to pull away now would be even more obvious. Instead, you tried not to appear as though every muscle in your body was tensed with uncertainty as the gate swung open and you walked past. Negan only gave a slight nod of acknowledgement to the guard, before continuing on as if nothing had happened. 

Sliding the guard a look out of the corner of your eye, you saw with a start that he was looking right back at you. Eyes darting forward, you tried to copy Negan’s aloof demeanor and not look as though it was taking all of your mental energy to remember how to walk like a normal human being and not trip over air. Nothing to see here, my guy. Just a typical evening stroll with your volatile and totally-not-holding-my-hand-as-if-we’re-a-couple leader. 

Negan only let go of your hand when reaching the front door of the Sanctuary, so that he could pull open the heavy metal. He then stood back, arm braced at shoulder level to hold the door, and it took a good ten seconds of you awkwardly standing there to realize that he was waiting for you to go in first. Holy crap, Negan was being chivalrous, and in public! Your subconscious squealed at the gesture and darted inside, while your brain tipped its hat to him in thanks before also walking in. Still a bit stunned over what was now two blatantly affectionate gestures in front of anyone who happened to be watching, you silently ducked under his arm and entered the building. 

Adding to your shock, once he had followed you inside and shut the door, he put a palm on your lower back to guide you down the hallway. The heat from his hand practically singed the thin fabric of your shirt with its silent possession, and it was so distracting that you almost missed it when he started making the turn to the stairwell that would lead back to his room. You felt a surge of relief that he wasn’t just sending you back to your own room after the cold shoulder moment in the woods, and some of the ice shards that had earlier formed around your heart as protection started to thaw. 

“Hold on,” you said, putting a gentle hand on his forearm. When he looked down in question, you added, “Ben said he’d leave us some dinner leftovers in the kitchen’s fridge.”

You were glad that he didn’t make a smartass quip at the mention of Ben, instead silently turning with you down a different hallway that led to the kitchen, his warm hand still present. You tensed a bit when passing a few community members in the hall, but if they noticed his touch, they didn’t show it. Instead, they were too busy dropping to their knees and lowering their heads in greeting. Your subconscious loved this, strutting past as if a royal before its subjects. Negan barely acknowledged them, while you felt distinctly uncomfortable and hoped to never become desensitized to such an unsettling sight.

Arriving at the cafeteria, you entered the large empty space, which was dimly lit due to the fading evening light coming in from the windows. Passing the rows of tables and pushing open the swinging doors to the kitchen, you were surprised to see that, unlike in the cafeteria, the overhead lights were still on in here. Since the dish washers were usually the last to leave, you assumed they had forgotten to flick off the lights on their way out. You’d make sure to have a discussion with them tomorrow, since it was important not to waste precious electricity here. Negan and his engineering team might have a fancy setup going on that allowed such luxuries as working lights, but that didn’t mean it was okay to abuse the privilege.

Crossing the tiled floor to the fridge, you had just opened the door and pulled out two small plastic containers of leftover tuna noodle casserole when there was a distinct and sudden thump. Whirling around, you glanced over at Negan, even though it was obvious he hadn’t made the noise. His gaze was fixed on the entrance to the pantry, which was located at the back of the kitchen. It was apparent the sound had come from that direction, and it was too loud to have been caused by a rodent or a box falling over. No, it had definitely been more of a human-sized thump. Since no one was supposed to be in the kitchen after-hours, the thought of an intruder made a lump of fear rise in your throat.

Negan’s gloved hands were now both wrapped around Lucille, and she hovered a few inches off his shoulder in the locked-and-loaded position as he confidently yet stealthily started across the kitchen. You followed a couple of feet behind, ready to throw the leftover casserole at any potential thief or walkers as a distraction so that Negan could beat them to death, if needed. You also still clutched Ricardo in your other hand, if the leftovers-to-the-face and Lucille-for-dessert plan wasn’t enough. You tensed for action when Negan’s own hands tightened on the bat and he stepped into the pantry’s entryway. 

“Don’t fucking move,” he growled in a voice so deadly that it would’ve caused bladder complications if you were on the receiving end of it.

A clatter of cans and a muffled, “Shit!” came from the pantry. You saw Negan’s eyes go wide in shock, his mouth even dropping slightly open as the hands on Lucille relaxed and lowered. Now curious as hell, you came up behind him, standing on tiptoes and peeking over his shoulder for a view into the pantry. The sight that met your eyes almost made you drop both Ricardo and the food. 

The first thing you registered was the tall, broad man who was quickly pulling his shirt down over his head to cover a well-muscled, not to mention well-furred, chest. Your brain recognized that it was Simon and was wondering what the hell he was doing undressing in the pantry, when movement behind him caught your attention. The second, slightly shorter figure was running nervous fingers through his disheveled hair and looked about to vomit with fear at being caught. Then his eyes traveled over Negan’s shoulder and saw you were also standing there, and a flash of relief came across his face.

Since it was obvious there was no actual threat to your safety, you came up beside Negan and cleared your throat awkwardly before saying, “Hiya, Ben. Fancy seeing you here this late.”

His face was so flushed that it was a wonder steam wasn’t coming off his skin, but he played along with your attempt to diffuse the situation. His voice came out quiet and croaky when he said, “Yea, uh, must’ve lost track of time.” 

You wanted to rush forward with a squeal and give him a reassuring hug and high five for what had obviously been a hot and heavy make-out session with the man he’d been hardcore crushing on. However, you also realized that this situation could go downhill very quickly, depending on how Negan reacted to the revelation. There was also the uncertainty about how Simon would handle this, since you had no clue how open about his sexual interests he might or might not be. 

That latter question was quickly answered when Simon put a proprietary arm around Ben’s waist, looked at Negan with a huge, good ol’ boy grin, and said, “Apologies for the lack of professional conduct. I dropped by to see how the dinner clean-up was going and, well, you know how one thing can lead to another.”

He said the last with a bit of a glint in his eye, as if daring Negan to deny that yes, he did indeed know how one thing could lead to another, including here in this very kitchen. At least Simon and Ben had been smart enough to conceal themselves in the pantry, rather than fuck right on the counter for all to see, the way you and Negan had just a couple nights ago. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on fucking duty somewhere?” Negan asked, voice low and full of threat. If Simon was currently leaving a guard post unattended, you knew he was in for a world of hurt. 

However, instead of looking worried, the mustachioed grin got even wider as he joyfully said, “Nope! I switched out with Luis at 6, so my evening is free as a bird.”

You had to give the man credit for appearing so relaxed and carefree, especially with a boss who could literally remove his head with a hefty swing standing semi-pissed in front of him. You weren’t sure if Simon was just that confident, or if he was that unhinged. You hoped, for Ben’s sake, that it was the former. 

Negan unflinchingly stared Simon down for a couple of long seconds, until the other man quickly lost the grin and dutifully lowered his gaze to the floor. A glance at Ben showed he was wringing his hands together nervously and also staring down at the ground, as if hoping it would open up and swallow him whole.

Satisfied at the other men’s show of deference, Negan finally growled out, “The fuck is it with all my fucking Saviors sneaking around at night to fuck the fucking kitchen staff.”

Without waiting for a reply, he turned and marched back across the kitchen, towards the exit. Giving one last (and hopefully reassuring) look at a still-frozen-in-worry Ben, you scurried after him, stopping briefly at the cupboards to grab two forks and cups. When he reached the swinging doors and held them open for you to exit first, he threw sternly back over his shoulder, “You better fucking disinfect any surfaces you fucking desecrated.”

He belied his terse tone by throwing a wink and smirk in your direction, though Simon and Ben obviously wouldn’t be able to see it. Hoping that his nonverbals were a more telling predictor of how he felt about all of this than his verbals had been, you both crossed and exited the cafeteria, before starting the trek up to his private rooms. 

You passed a few more community members in the halls, but if they found the sight of you and their leader walking together strange, you were too consumed with what had just happened in the kitchen to notice or care. It was obvious that Negan also had no fucks to give about being seen with you, since he twirled Lucille and whistled in that playful yet threatening way that only he could pull off.

When you reached his rooms, he led the way into his bedroom and over to the little black table with two white armchairs. Setting down the containers and forks on the table, and propping Ricardo up against the nearby armoire, you went into the bathroom to fill the two glasses in the sink. It was only when you had returned and settled into the chair to eat that you realized your mistake.

“Shit,” you blurted, earning an eyebrow raise from the man already shoveling the first forkful of casserole into his mouth. “We didn’t heat it up.”

Giving an uncaring shrug, he said around the mouthful, “It’s tuna and noodles. Tastes fucking fine cold.” 

Taking a tentative bite, you found that he was correct. Sure, it wasn’t as gooey and creamy as when warm, but the flavor was still pretty darn good, so you forgave your lack of foresight in the face of processing the Ben and Simon situation.

The two of you ate in companionable silence, and you wondered if Negan’s thoughts were as preoccupied with the events in the kitchen as yours were. Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long to learn that the answer was yes, Negan was definitely thinking about it. Out of nowhere, he let out a loud bark of laughter, causing you to jump and almost choke on the noodle you had been chewing. 

At your questioning look, he said, “I’m just remembering the fucking priceless look on ol’ Benny Boy’s face when he saw me standing in that fucking entryway.”

Hoping that his humorous response was a positive thing, and that Ben wasn’t further on Negan’s shit list, you questioned, “So you’re not upset about him messing around with one of your most devoted Saviors?”

Giving a quick shake of his head, he stabbed more noodles with his fork. “Fuck no. Simon deserves a bit of fucking fun.”

“What if it’s more than just fun to them?” 

You couldn’t help the question, trying to figure out just how okay with all of this Negan really was. You knew that it wasn’t only the fact that Ben had been caught in such a compromising and unprofessional position, but also that he had been caught with another man that could make this a potentially unsafe situation for him. Ben had always seemed to keep his interest in both men and women fairly quiet, which was his right to do so. If Negan showed any hint of discrimination, or gave any inclination that he would out Ben to the community, then you wouldn’t hesitate to rain holy hell down on him. 

Instead, Negan’s unexpected response was, “Well then, if it’s the real deal, I’ll throw them a fucking congratulations party.” 

Unable to hide your look of pleasant surprise, he said, “What? People deserve to find some fucking happiness where they can in this dreary-as-shit world we’re livin’ in. So long as they continue to get their fucking duties done, and follow my fucking rules, I don’t give a shit who they play ‘hide the salami’ with.”

You were a bit stunned at his progressive and open-minded thinking, and it only caused you to warm towards him even more. It also made you want to stop being so quick to see the worst in him, and the worst in yourself for liking him so much. Pushing that self-doubt from earlier in the woods even further to the back of your head, your subconscious jammed it down into a metal box so your brain could click it shut with a padlock. There it would stay, along with all the other questions still left unanswered between you and Negan, until you felt more ready to open it up and deal with them.

Finishing the last bite of casserole and feeling pleasantly full, you then registered that another basic need wasn’t being met: cleanliness. You felt a bit grimy from being out in the woods, not to mention the layer of dried sweat on your skin from both wandering around a hot forest and engaging in some extra-strenuous activities with Negan. 

“Is it alright if I use your shower?”

You swore Negan’s eyes darkened a shade at that, and his voice sounded a bit lower than usual when he answered. “What’s mine is yours, doll.”

Wow. Pretty sure your subconscious had just slithered to the floor in a pile of goo at the promise in both the words and his tone. 

Rising on now-wobbly legs from the chair, you started towards the bathroom. Before you could overanalyze or second-guess the decision to death, you whipped the shirt up over your head and tossed it to the floor. Glancing back over your shoulder at him, you gave a playful grin and unhooked your bra while saying, “Care to join me?”

He was up out of the chair before the words even fully left your lips, and you had barely made it across the threshold of the bathroom before he was on you. Arms snagging around your waist, he turned you into him and crashed his lips down on yours.

The bathroom became littered with clothes as you hurriedly pulled them off each other before stumbling back into his massive shower. You abruptly yelped when he first turned on the water, the temperature borderline freezing as it pelted down on your bare back. He gave a husky chuckle and reached over to adjust the knobs, and you sighed in satisfaction when the stream heated up against your chilled flesh. 

Trailing greedy hands across his warm skin, you followed the path of a water droplet down his chest while thinking back to the various times you had fantasized about this very moment, about him naked and wet and yours. When he bent down for a kiss, you swore he poured not just his desire but also, dare you say it, his emotions into the kiss. You had felt these tiny hints of vulnerability he was trying to share with you throughout the entire day, ever since waking up in your bed this morning. He was trying to show that although he was terrifyingly deadly and intimidating as fuck with everyone else, he could be caring and gentle with you. 

And how had you reacted? By shutting down and questioning his motives. There was a part of you that still refused to fully believe this would last, but maybe it was time to start enjoying it while you could, and not think too much about tomorrow. Suddenly, you wanted to reciprocate, to show that you had noticed how hard he had been trying to connect. And while maybe words would work, you and Negan’s communication skills had always been more about nonverbals and actions. 

Pulling back from the kiss and visually drinking him in, you were caught off guard for the millionth time by how god damn attractive he was. His hair was damp from the spray, and you wanted to lick the water droplets clinging to his neck and shoulders. However, you had another destination in mind, one that you had yet to explore but didn’t want to leave unattended any longer.

Looking up into his tawny eyes, you gave a sly smile and whispered, “Just so you know, this is the only reason I will ever kneel for you.”

Then, with gazes still locked, you fell to your knees on the wet tile...and took his cock in your mouth.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

[writerwrites]

Will You Hold On My Love

Pairing: Frank Adler x Reader

Summary: You were supposed to be his rebound and you were supposed to go it alone, so why are you both holding on for dear life?

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Mentions of death and sex but neither are written in. Cancer, general sads and fluff. Really, it’s just a fic about two people wanting nice things and life being life, so take that as you will.

A/N: *THIS IS A ONE SHOT* This is the Week 5 prompt to the Optimistic Captain Donut Challenge [due a decade ago oops] created by @captainchrisbaby​​, @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​​ , and @donutloverxo​​ … The Week 5 Prompt was based on the gif below and Where Do Lovers Go by Ghostly Kisses | Dividers by the talented @whimsicalrogers​​

You’d met at tipping points in a bar, one drink in a piece.

Frank and Bonnie were done, the whole town knew about it except you. You were minding your own business really, you had your own problems and the last thing you needed was it spread all over town like the half-dozen sob stories tied to the Adler family. Everyone had problems, some more than others, and you’d been determined to be an empathetic decent human being the first time someone tried to spread Frank’s business into your general direction. It was your innate ability to gently veer a conversation away from drama that had made you pleasantly forgettable to every friend group you were a part of. It also happened to be the reason you were sat in a drab local bar on a Thursday evening spending an obnoxious amount of quarters to play Sonnet by The Verve on repeat like you could convince the whole three people in there that your favorite band was more than a one hit wonder. Then he sat next to you and everything changed...

“If you play it one more time, then you owe me a drink.” Frank Adler, who hadn’t spoken to you since grade school, now sat next to you in the bar at the edge of town. You watched him pick up a quarter, spinning it with his thumb and pointer, and watching it spin and stop before repeating two more times before the song repeated, “All right, you owe me a Guinness.”

With a nod to the bartender, you held up two fingers and he did just that. As you brought the beer to your lips, you hummed the song and he watched you with the slightest curve to his lips. “What? Can’t a girl play a song on repeat to get it out of her head?”

“Oh? Is that what you’re doing?” He tilted the bottle back, the tone one of obvious doubt. “I thought people were supposed to reserve that sort of behavior to their bathrooms with a bottle of wine?”

Somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him, already smiling a little as you pretended to take offense. Frank was right, most people kept that depressing blubbering to themselves, but you knew that with the news you’d gotten the last thing you should be doing tonight was sitting alone. “Nope, but did you really come in here tonight to listen to a stranger’s problems or did you come to forget your own.”

“Touché.” You followed his lead, chugging back your drinks and slamming them to the sticky bartop. He slipped off the stool and tossed a few bills to the counter, no pretense, and you did the same, albeit with a little less grace in your descent. With a nod of appreciation to the bartender before grabbing your things, you followed the tall blonde out of the bar and tried to ignore the knowing glances from the few patrons left behind. It wasn’t until the crisp autumn air nipped at your ears that Frank spoke again. “You’re not a stranger. I remember you from school.”

“Well, neither of us are who we used to be. Safer to assume we’re stranger-adjacent then. As The Verve would say, All this talk of getting old, it’s getting me down…” You winked and he shook his head. “How many are you in? Are you good to drive?” His shrug left you unconvinced. “I’m a Bud Light and Guinness in- on a whole dinner, so I’m fine. I’ll drive.”

Frank’s stormy blue eyes glanced toward his truck and he pursed his lips before rocking on his heels and following you, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he followed you. There was a sense of relief in not having to bicker with a man about the subject. You didn’t know that it was his every intention to stick to his usual coping strategy: easy lay, slipping out with Mary as an excuse the second the sex was over. Frank Adler had mastered the art of escape and now that Mary was thirteen and more than capable of handling herself, those escapes typically led right back to another bar. It wasn’t actually about being there for Mary, it was about feeling something, even if it was temporary. Somehow, in some cavern in the back of both of your minds, in the comfortable silence of the car ride where he reached over and surprised you by taking your hand in his, there seemed to be some unspoken decision to not make a mess of this.

God, you wanted to tell him. When you woke up to him fast asleep, long lashes casting small shadows on his sun kissed cheekbones as the late morning light licked at his skin through your bedroom window. His chest pressed close into your side, his legs tangled in yours, and his calloused fingers stretched across the expanse of your ribs like you were something small when in reality he simply dwarfed you. This stung, the ache to wake him up and be as honest as the pair of you had been last night. He’d put you on a pedestal and worshiped you. You’d called out his name and praised him as he gave you everything you asked for. Your skin covered in goosebumps just thinking about the night you two had shared and how scared you were for wanting more of it. Bottle it up and enjoy the moment, you told yourself in misery, scrunching your eyes shut and pinching your nose with the hand that had been absentmindedly stroking his dark blonde hair.

It was that withdrawal of your warmth that woken Frank up from the deepest sleep he’d had in the weeks since his breakup. Mornings had been the hardest for him because he’d gotten used to Bonnie’s dark curls draped across his pillow. It was harder still when Bonnie’s side of the bed no longer smelled of her. It was Mary’s logic that had pulled him out of the breakup stupor, but it hadn’t stopped Frank from falling into some old promiscuous habits. At least he’d thought he’d tapered off and found some routine in the monotony of distractions and the routine of a quick slip out. Now as his steely blue-gray eyes opened there was a brief moment of panic that followed that sleepy cling for the body he’d been holding.

Two months later and it all seemed too pleasant and rushed, too crazy to ruin. Yet you knew this was what it was, you making the most of the final moments and Frank getting over an ex. You knew it because you reminded yourself of that every time you caught yourself smiling over the little things because if you were really being honest with yourself it was two months of selfishness. Now, as you and Mary were making pancakes together while Frank laid out under the sink repairing the disposal, it was Mary that cornered the two of you. It happened with a bang- literally. “So, is this a grown up thing to not call each other boyfriend and girlfriend or are you two just being weirdos?”

The bag of flour slipped from your hands and clocked Frank right in his package causing his body to lurch forward and his head to hit every surface under the sink. As he groaned in pain, you tried to form the ‘right’ words, knowing that there weren’t any. “Oh, we’ve never been on an actual date…” Your words were slow, drawn out and delicate as you cautiously picked up the flour. Tapping his thigh with your foot you looked at the body of the man who’d given you a slice of happiness you didn’t expect to find in a bar and certainly didn’t feel like you deserved. “You okay down there?”

In usual form, he emerged covered in grease and grime, wiping his hands on a dingy old handkerchief that had been tucked in his pocket. He looked at you after wiping the sweat from his forehead onto his forearm and then over to Mary who stood akimbo. “Is this a setup?”

Mary crossed her arms, a stern look that you’d seen on Frank only a few times but found it completely recognizable and amusing. You pressed you lips into a line . “I didn’t think it needed to be.”

If you hadn’t been guilt stricken then you would’ve laughed at the tone of her voice bordering an abuelita waving a chancla. Instead, you watched him get up with his beautiful eyes watching you the whole way up. “Frank, you don’t have to say anything. I’m happy with this, just as it is.” You glanced at Mary, her arms still crossed, her expression wholly unconvinced. “I… I don’t want to be held responsible for anyone getting hurt.” The confused expression on Frank’s face was fleeting, maybe it wasn’t confusion or a twinge of hurt, but it made you try to rephrase yourself, trying to play it up in a sweet way and trying to convince him that this was about you- not him or Mary. “I can’t have anyone falling in love with me.”

The last thing you expected to hear was for Mary to snark out a defiant, “Too late for that.”

You told yourself you had to pick up your jaw, but you couldn’t because Frank was looking at you with that face he made when he woke up next to you… your favorite face. The crooked smile that was almost boyish and the crinkled eyes that you swore were just age and tiredness, but now you knew the truth, it was something else, something more. Your heart was racing, your mouth went dry and you tried to form the words of warning as your legs gave out beneath you and you collapsed into Frank’s arms.

Time was a funny thing, spinning in and out of consciousness you caught conversations and yet couldn’t recall which order they’d happened or where they were happening, nor could you discern how long the vast nothingness between those glimmers of consciousness seemed to be.

The first seemed obvious, sinking into your bones like the cancer that consumed you. The pain of Frank’s voice as he tried to throttle you awake. The timbre of his voice shifting from teasing amusement to legitimate worry. You could still feel his warm calloused hands on your cheeks followed by the cool droplets of water he’d splashed on you to try and wake you up. It worked just enough for you to say, “No doctors.”

Secrets seemed to unravel from there as you faded in and out, coming round to hear the beeping of machines or a man racked with heavy sobs. There was some relief in being a familiar face in this small town’s hospital. The familiar voice of your oncologist telling Frank that rules meant Frank couldn’t be told anything but that he could stay. Mary came and went, too. It was her small hands braiding your hair that woke you up on an early afternoon. The blinds were pulled wide open and your dry lips cracked as you smiled and tried to talk. “You look like an angel with all that snow behind you.”

Mary perked up at the sound of your voice and she leaned over your shoulder and rested her cheek against yours as she looked where you were. “It’s not real, it’s left over Christmas decorations. I wanted you to have a Winter Wonderland. It was so boring here. Hold on!”

You wondered if she’s had conversations with you while she’d waited for you to wake up or if you’d only been out a day or two because she seemed so unbothered by you forming your first words in what you would soon learn were three weeks. Mary pulled the blinds closed and climbed over a bench that had blankets and pillows folded on the end, a clear indication that Frank had been there with you for at least a night. When Mary emerged the room twinkled with fairy lights. “Wow, Mary! I love it so much.” You blinked away the fresh sting of tears. “Aren’t you a thoughtful angel.”

“I wanted it to be nice for you and Frank when you two picked up your last conversation.” A little wicked smirk drew across her lips and you waved her over to the bed and patted the blanket. Her smile fell just a little as she picked at the chipped nail polish on her fingers. “He told me not to look at the charts and the board or the machines, but I did and then I asked a teacher about what I found on Google and…” She let out a long, weary sigh. “I think you two still need to tell each other the truth.”

It seemed right, like you owed Frank an explanation, but the reality of the situation was that when you got your post-treatment update you’d not even uttered this truth to yourself. It was just something tucked in your head, a bomb, slowly ticking away. Frank walked in, purple bags of exhaustion around his eyes, and he still lit up the room with a smile the second he saw you were awake. His long legs took just a couple of steps and he was next to you on the hospital bed. Mary took the snacks from his hands and slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind her and you had no doubt that she was already standing guard outside it. Wasting no time, you tried to apologize to him, “Frank, I want to say that I’m so-” Your heart ached with the regret of keeping this secret from him.

His lips crashed to yours before you could finish, absolutely no regard to the chalky taste of sleep on your mouth. When pulled away satisfied, Frank hushed you just millimeters from lips before going back in for another softer kiss- the familiar kind he’d taken to sneaking in when he walked past you from one room to the next. “Tell me the truth. Tell me it’ll be all right.”

This was exactly what you didn’t want, someone begging for you to give them what you knew you couldn’t. Your hands covered his as he desperately held your face and your eyes fell to his lips and the scruff along his jaw as you found yourself debilitated by his hopefulness. To say you were incapable of meeting those bright blue eyes without falling apart was an understatement. Your small fingers brushed across the familiar scars and calluses on his hands as you tried to think of the right thing to say. “I think we got our ‘all right’ already, Adler. I wish it could give you more, but I really stayed for you and Mary, so selfishly, for as long as I could.”

“I read the chart,” Frank swallowed, but you heard the tension tight in his throat as he tried to keep his voice even, “No one would tell me anything and I didn’t know what else to do just sitting here waiting for you to come back to me.” That sense of ownership surprised you, not because you didn’t want it, but because you’d been alone for so long… well before you got sick. As you cleared your throat to try and speak, he kept going. “You somehow made it longer than they thought, didn’t you? That’s why they were running so many tests, isn’t it?” Keeping your eyes from his, you didn’t need to look at him to know that Frank wasn’t necessarily asking you for answers. “Maybe that means you’re healthier than they realized and they could put you in a trial?”

“Frank, I’ve been right here the whole time.” Instead of focusing on the future, you focused on the present. Attempting to reassure him, you turned your cheek into his palm and placed a soft kiss there. This level of affection had been strictly reserved for sleepy mornings and movie nights, they’d become your favorite memories. “I felt everything, even heard you sometimes…” Resting your head into the curve of his neck, you ignored the painful tug of wires and tubes as he held you close. “I wanted to tell you, but I thought it would be over by now.” The ‘it’ wasn’t just the one night stand that had turned into feelings at about the same rate your cancer had come back, no you thought you would’ve passed on by now. The truth, it was what stuck in your head and kept you frozen there tucked in his arms, but he wanted more and you knew Frank deserved it. So, when Frank tugged gently on your shoulders and tilted your chin up, you mustered up the courage to not only speak but to meet his gaze. “A month, that was all I was supposed to get the night I tortured you with The Verve in our bar.”

To your surprise Frank listened without interrupting or asking a single question and it helped you explain yourself, why you never talked about this because, as you two crossed from strangers to friends, you knew he didn’t deserve the pain. Those secrets that were whispered about him around town that you had shut out were shared, with time, on his own. Frank had no idea that in those quiet back and forth exchanges that you had held in the one thing that would change everything. “You could’ve told me. I’m not mad… I just want to understand.”

The truth, the weight you carried in silence. The truth, it poured from you now, albeit unwillingly, and you hoped he wouldn’t carry it for you. Maybe a part of you knew he would because that’s what he always did. You’d never met another person so selfless. When you wondered if he understood, wondered if he knew just how stolen their time was, you bit into your lip and tried to explain it one more time. “I got lucky, but this is it, Adler. I was the walking definition of terminal lucidity and, God, I’m thankful I got my rally with you.” Just stringing along those words, the explanation, you were breathless. “I’m not walking out of this hospital.”

As you watched the painful reality set in, you also watched Frank’s jaw tighten. “If you really want to get out of here, if you don’t want to die in this room, will you do me one thing?” Confused, you nodded, feeling like you owed him but weary of what he’d ask. Frank smiled softly, only furthering your worry that he’d bring up a trial again. “I want you to come home with Mary and I.”

Hesitation laced his name as you shook your head ‘no’, repeating it over, “Frank, no. I can’t put that on you and Mary.” There wasn’t much space to pull away, your weak frame falling back onto the stiff mattress of the hospital bed.

“You already promised and I don’t think we have enough time for the kind of promises I would’ve liked to make.” Frank reached out and brushed a strand of hair from your face, even in that moment looking somewhat mischievous.

“Oh yeah, and what were those plans?” You closed your eyes, tired and curious, but not wanting to look at him and be upset by the mutual stubbornness both of you bore.

“‘Til death do we part.” His warm breath hovered over your face and you scrunched your nose at his dark humor, but he wasn’t laughing. You opened your eyes to find him looking at you with an expression of impatience, “I mean it, come home and let me love you for whatever time we’ve got left.”

“Say it again.” You sighed, processing what he’d said and wondering if he’d meant it.

“Come home.”

Reaching out, you playfully nudged his shoulder. “No, the other bit.”

Looking into each other’s eyes, you wondered if the word had slipped from his lips by mistake, but that mischievous smile reached his eyes and Frank leaned in, his lips brushing yours as he said it one more time with confidence, “I love you.”

It wasn’t easy for the doctors, who knew you so well, to let you leave their care. Just like it wasn’t easy for you to give up your dwindling independence or to let Frank and Mary take care of you when you knew you’d brought death to their home. But nothing seemed to change with them, they forgave you for your secret and kept on with the silly breakfasts and morning cuddles; the popcorn at the home cinema nights. Mary kept you close, shared everything with you and listened to any story you were willing to tell. Frank held you together as you fell apart, carrying you from room to room so that you could still enjoy the silly things you’d been enjoying together all along. That was the only change, you becoming weak, fading from them. Neither of you became truth-spilling emotional lovers or bitter about the end. No, he wouldn’t leave you with that last memory. Instead, he put on some music and sat by your side, whispering a vow of love that was more than some overpriced ceremony and a piece of paper could provide. And when you were gone, you never really were. A person the world should have forgotten, tucked away and carried in two hearts long after you departed this world.

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All Content: @tom-hlover​​  @marvelouslytrekking​​  @rockyrogers​​

Chris Evans Related Content: @inlovewithfictionalcharacters​​​ 

[yuhaosturtle]

BL Tag Game

thank you sumaya @morksuns for tagging me!💕💖 I haven't done one of these in so long it was fun to see how things have changed!

1. Your all time favourite bl and why

you know... for the longest time it was history2: crossing the line. It's been so long that I can't believe I'm saying this... but recently? color rush 👀 (and semantic error is looking at me too hshshs). I'm a sucker for the soulmate trope

2. That one bl that scarred you for life

I'm not sure there is one tbh? I only watched history3: modc via gifs/clips when it aired so I wasn't that invested. and I've always skipped the kengkla parts in lbc. I joined the fandom when most problematic shows had already aired too so I knew to stay away from them. so maybe sotus or addicted? those were some of my first bls and... they're not the best lmao.

omg no wait you know what really scarred me? the novel to addicted. bc after I watched the show I wanted to know what happens afterwards and 😬 don't recommend that one.

3. Is there any bl that made you feel very single?

most of them? but tbh saifahzon in why r u? made me feel extra single bc they're just so gentle with each other and I want that someday. also wangxian in the untamed.

4. If you could change one thing from a bl, which one would it be?

someone tell xi gu that he can season his food with soy sauce if the salt is out, no need to get run over

5. Your top 5?

that question is just not fair. how can I decide? idek what shows I've watched in the last years hshshs. my top shows are just ones I like, not ones I think are the best. ok here we go, an attempt at my top 5:

1. color rush --- 2. cherry magic --- 3. history2: crossing the line (nostalgia) --- 4. light on me --- 5. semantic error --- 6. theory of love

yes these are 5 please avert your eyes lmao. tbh this changes constantly and I probably forgot half of the shows I love so take this with a grain of salt (or soy sauce). also not me the series is a valid contender but I'm writing this before the finale airs!

6. that trashy bl that you lowkey like

I enjoy watching trashy shows tbh. atm it's probably cutie pie the series

7. your favorite korean bl (it’s important we know)

color rush!! I just love the whole concept and setup. it's about the angst for me

8. but also your top 3 for kbls

oh this is hard...ok I can just copy from my top 5:

1. color rush --- 2. light on me --- 3. semantic error --- 4. where your eyes linger

yes this is 3 idk what you're talking abt. (also why are so many of these school themed?)

9. Season 2? Which one?

tbh I wish we would get less second seasons... I think a good standalone show is lovely. of course I love the couples but not every story needs a pt2 just because it's popular, sometimes I wish ppl would let it rest 😅

that being said, I'm really excited about the cherry magic movie and to my star s2! since the couples only got together at the very end it makes more sense to me to have a s2.

10. a bunch of dramas will air soon. which ones are you the most excited for?

I'm not really informed about everything that'll air if I'm honest. I mostly decide to watch a show after a couple of eps have aired and I see gifs of them that intrigue me. I'm excited about kinnporsche though (is that even a bl?)! other than that I will probably start enchante and cherry blossoms after winter soon, but those are already airing

11. favourite underrated bls?

I think mr. heart is such a cute show! I also think that lovely writer has fallen under the rock a bit but that show was so good too!

12. Tag them!

how to make manja anxious 101 🙈 I'm on-and-off here too much to have regular interactions, so if you see this and want to do this go ahead and tag me! I want to see ppl's rankings 👀

[goldenmaybank]

meant to be

(not my gif)

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n has been in love with her best friend, jj maybank, for years and now has to watch him fall in love with another girl, who is a kook.

warnings: swearing and slight angst (?)

word count: 4k (it’s a long one) 

a/n: hi! this is my first imagine and i hope you like it. i know it’s a long one i just got carried away :)

2 years. 730 days. 17520 hours. 1051200 minutes.

that's how long i've had to watch the guy i'm in love with be with another girl. two long years of seeing them kiss, hold hands, cuddle, go on dates and anniversaries. all because i was too scared to tell my best friend that i loved him.

two years ago

" yo, y/n ! y/n ! guess what just happened." my best friend since we were kids, jj, said as he ran up to me.

"what?"

"you remember that girl, shay, that i was telling you about? that kook that i met at the kegger last weekend with the long blonde hair, green eyes, slim waist, and fat as-"

"yes, yes. jj i remember." i said cutting him off from finishing his sentence.

"so, i just asked her out and guess what? she said yes!" he said with the biggest smile on his face.

"okay."

"okay? that's all i get? an okay? y/n, this is the hottest kook i’ve ever seen that we're talking about here."

"yeah and last week kate was the hottest kook and the week before that was penelope. this is nothing new j. it's just another pretty girl with big boobs and a nice ass that you'll mess around with for a few weeks maybe even days and then move onto the next girl."

"no y/n, this time is different. it feels different."

"mhm sure" i say not convinced

this is what jj does. he meets a cute kook girl or touron at one our parties, they hook up for a few days or weeks, and he moves onto to the next one. this was no different. however, in that moment, i didn't realize how serious he really was about her until it was too late.

few months after

jj and i were laying on john b’s couch watching movies like we always do every friday night. we've been doing this since we were little kids, usually the rest of the pogues would join us, but they’re all busy tonight. john b is with sarah, kie is working, and pope is helping out his dad. so that just leaves me and jj together.

"um, y/n?"

"hm?" i asked in response

"would you mind if i ended our movie night a little bit early?"

"why?"

"because shay just got off work early tonight and wants to hang out. she's been really busy lately, so we haven't gotten the chance to hang out as much. would you be okay if i left to go see her?”

"um, sure. i guess i can just rewatch friday the 13th again without you."

"really? you're the best! thanks." he said jumping up excitedly to put on his shoes and grab his hoodie, " i mean it's not like we haven't watched this a thousand times already, you'll be fine without me."

"i kinda wanted you here, but i guess she's more important" i mumbled under my breath

"huh?"

"n-nothing. uh, j can i ask you something before you go?"

"yeah sure, but it can't take too long shay is waiting for me."

"are you serious about her? like really serious?"

"yeah, i guess i am. i don't know i've never really felt this way about a girl before. she just makes me feel so happy and i always want to be around her and spend time with her. i usually just get bored with girls after a while and break up with them, but it's different with her. it's something about her i can't explain it." he said with admiration in his eyes.

that's when i knew it was too late. i could see the way his eyes lit up when i mentioned her and how he talked about her with such admiration. he was head over heels for this girl and who am i to step in and ruin it by telling him my feelings. he wouldn't reciprocate those feelings anyways she's the only girl he's felt like this about. i never had a chance against her. i will never be her.

after that day i didn’t see jj for three weeks. he cancelled every single one our plans because of her. “i cant go surfing today, shay wants to go get lunch” “can’t go fishing, shay needs me” “cant make it to the boneyard tonight, shay wants to have a movie night” he bailed on us, on me, all week because of her. the kook girl he just met a few months ago. 

finally, after countless begging and excuses jj came to hang out with us at john b’s house. we were all laying on the hammocks outside watching the sunset and for a minute it felt like everything was how it used to be even though i knew it wasn't. you could feel that everything was different especially between me and jj. he wasn't his usual flirty, touchy self with me and the tension in the air was thick. the rest of the pogues tried to act like everything was normal, but we all knew after today it would be another few weeks before we saw jj again. all he did was hang out with shay and he barely had any time for us anymore.

“so, jj since when did you start dating kooks?” john b snickered as jj punched his arm

“since when did you start dating at all?” pope replied

“i don’t know, man. it’s just different with her, i guess. i never thought i could be capable enough to have a relationship, but she changed that. she changed me.” 

kie looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. she was the only one who knew about my love for jj. i spent so many nights crying to her about my feelings for him and how i wish things could be different between us. it took a lot to get jj to open up to me, especially about his dad, and i always wanted to be the one he could go to for anything. i was the one who patched him up after a fight with rafe, i was the one who hugged him as he cried to me about his dad, i was the one who went along with his crazy ideas, i was one who did everything i could to get him to love me the way i love him. but i guess things don’t work out the way you want them to. i give kie and a nod and smile letting her know i’m okay. as long as jj is happy that’s all that matters to me. i would do anything to make him happy, even if it means i have to watch him fall in love with another girl.

present 

6 years. 2190 days. 52560 hours. 3153600 minutes.

that's how long the love of my life has been with his girlfriend. six long years of me trying to get over him and find someone else yet i could never get that boy with blonde hair and blue eyes out of my mind. he followed me everywhere i went even when i wasn't with him. he's everything i want in a guy yet i can't have him because he's not mine to have. he's someone else's and now i definitely can't do anything about it because they're getting married today.

today is their wedding and of course they invited me and the rest of the pogues. i debated even going and just letting kie give them my present with my pathetic excuse for why i wasn't there, but after talking to jj about the wedding the other day i couldn’t not go. "i could never have my wedding without you there, y/n. you're one of the most important people in my life." is what he told me. if i was strong i wouldn't care and still not go, but i'm not. all i had to do was look in his eyes when he told me that and i was puddy in his hands. there's no way i can't go and let him down like that. he means way too much to me to hurt him just to spare my own feelings. 

i walked into the venue looking around at the setup. of course the kook princess wanted a fairy-tale wedding. i sigh as i look at all the expensive decorations everywhere. i always imagined what my wedding with jj would be like. definitely wouldn’t look anything like this. even after years of all my hard work and schooling i still could never afford something like this. i always thought we’d have our ceremony by the beach since that’s where we first met when we were little kids and spent all our time together. it became our little safe space to get away from everyone and all our problems, and just be together. just me and jj. 

“gotta admit it looks beautiful.” pope says as kie hits his shoulder

“it’s okay, kie. he’s right, it is beautiful. more than i could've ever given him.”

“hey” kie says as she grabs my hand, “you sure you’re okay? because we can leave right now. trust me, i really don’t care to see the little princess wearing a dress that costs ten times the amount of my house.”

“it’s fine, kie. we have to be here for him. i’m just gonna go talk to jj quickly.”

“okay, i’ll save a seat for you.”

i went towards the back to find where jj is, so i could give him something before the ceremony started.

"knock knock." i say as i opened the door to jj’s room walking in to see him finishing getting ready.

"hey you. i almost thought you weren't gonna come."

"now why would i miss my best friend getting married to the girl of his dreams? i would never miss this no matter what"

"good because i know i would never be able to do this without you here."

"so.." i say as i sit down next to him, "how does it feel to finally be getting married?”

"it feels unreal. i never thought this day would come. and if it did, i honestly thought you would be the one standing at the end of the aisle"

"yeah, so did i" i say as i laugh weakly.

"i remember we had this whole thing planned out as kids. we were gonna get married on the beach, preferably the bahamas, but you know any beach would’ve worked for us. 

"and we were gonna have this huge reception and have our friends give sappy speeches talking about how we've been friends forever and despite the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule we still ended up together and got married." i added.

"and our honeymoon was gonna be in mykonos. we were gonna get a suite with a pool and relax all day and then turn up at night at the clubs there." he said as we both laughed.

"wow. we had a lot of plans when we were younger."

"we really did, but i guess none of them really worked out huh?"

"i guess not"

we sat in silence for a moment thoughts both roaming our minds about how we ended up here. best friends since we were little, spent all our time together, always acted like a couple, and yet here we are sitting in this room minutes before he gets married to a girl who isn't me, a kook nonetheless. it's now or never. do i let him know how i feel and finally have this weight lifted off my shoulders or just keep it to myself and let them be happy?

"uh, j? i- um, wrote this letter for you" i say as i take an envelope out of my purse, "it was the original speech that i wanted to tell you at the reception later but felt as though it wouldn't have been right to say, so i just wrote it for you to see. just, don't open it in front of shay, please."

"why can't you just tell me what's in the letter in your speech later?"

"because i would be a shit person if i say what's in that letter at your wedding reception in front of everyone."

"what's in the letter that's so bad?" he asked confusingly

"j-just read it when you're alone, okay?"

"no"

"no?"

"no. just tell me now what's in the letter."

"jj, i-i can't."

"yes you can. what's so bad that you can't tell me now?"

"i don't want to overstep my boundaries or ruin anything or make anything awkward, so just read it later when you're alone."

"no, y/n. tell me right now."

"jj, your wedding starts in a few minutes you need to finish getting ready. we don't have time for this."

"yes we do. i always have time for you."

"jj-"

"no. i'm not leaving this room until you tell me."

"j, don't be difficult."

"i'm not being difficult just read me the letter and this will all be done with"

i sighed, "oh my god fine. i'll read you the damn thing." i take a deep breath and begin to read the letter that might just change everything between us.

"dear jj, i'm not sure when exactly you'll be reading this, but i know when you do you'll be happily married to shay. so, congratulations best friend you're finally someone's husband. i honestly never thought this day would come; you were never one for relationships. always thought it was too much work to handle and you already had enough shit to deal with in your life. remember when we were little we made a promise that if neither of us were in a relationship by the time we were 30 we would get married. as silly as it was i always thought that would happen. that we would be the ones getting married and have our best friends write a speech for us. i'd always imagine kie writing mine and john b and pope would write yours, mainly pope though because we all know he’s way better with words than any of us ever were. but i never once in a million years would think i would be writing one for you and another girl. we've been through so many ups and downs and we still stuck together through it all. you're my best friend and i love you. words can't even describe how much i love you. jj, you've brought me so much happiness and never fail to put a smile on my face. even during my worst times you were always there to pick up the pieces and make me laugh. i never thought i would have someone in my life who means so much to me as much as you do. being around you immediately makes my day a hundred times better and i don't know what i would do without you in my life. my life would've probably been extremely boring and plain without you and your crazy adventures. your smile can make anyone's day better and you always make sure everyone else is happy even before yourself. and that's one of the many reasons why i'm in love with you. yes, i'm in love with you and have been for a while. this is more than a just as friends thing. i'm completely and utterly in love with you and that's never gonna change. and i know it took you a while to believe that someone could truly love and care for you, but i always have and always will. you so deserve so much than life has given you and i hope you know how amazing you really are. i’ve become such a better person because of you and you make me so incredibly happy. i'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me. i love you so much. i hope you're happy in your marriage and she treats you right, which i know she does. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it wasn't with me. even though i just dropped this huge bomb on you, please don't let this affect our friendship. i will always be here for you no matter what. i love you, jj maybank."

there was complete silence. jj just sat there staring at the wall not saying a word.

"see this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you in person because i knew this would happen. i-"

"you love me?"

"yes, j i do."

"like actually love me?"

i sighed, "yes and i have for a while as i said in the letter"

"w-why didn't you tell me?"

"i don't know i was always so scared to and i thought you would never really find someone, so i had nothing to lose by not telling you. and then you started dating shay and i could tell you were really happy with her and by the time i realized you two were serious it was too late. i didn't want to step in and ruin anything or lose our friendship."

"you wouldn't have."

"what?"

"you wouldn't have ruined our friendship because i felt the same way. i still feel the same way." jj admitted

"you, what?"

"i love you y/n and as more than just friends. i have since freshmen year of high school when i first told you about my dad and you cleaned up all my cuts and held me in your arms all night. but i was just always too scared to say anything because i thought you were out of my league and i never really deserved you. the only reason i was with all those girls was to forget about you and get rid of my feelings for you, but they never did go away."

"i guess we're both stupid then. we always had these feelings for each other and just never said it."

"i guess so."

"so, what does this mean for us?"

"what do you mean?" jj asked

"i mean this obviously changes things, so what are we gonna do?"

"i don't see why things have to change. yeah we admitted we have these feelings, but that doesn't change anything."

"you're getting married, jj. in like twenty minutes there's gonna be another girl waiting at the end of that aisle for you to go there and give yourself completely to her. and i don't want to stand in the way of giving you and her that happiness you both deserve. me still being here is gonna change things because things are different now whether you want to believe it or not. these feelings are out there and they're still relevant. and i'm not gonna sit here and watch you two be happy and in love and be on the sidelines and feel like shit. i don't deserve that. i don't deserve to have my heart broken seeing you together knowing you have feelings for me and yet i can't do a damn thing about it. and it's not fair to her either to have another woman who you have feelings for sit there and get in the way of her happiness. i'm not gonna ruin this for her, jj. i won't. shay has been nothing but sweet to me and i'm not gonna do that to her. she doesn't deserve it and neither do i."

"so what do you want me to do then?"

"i want you to let me go."

"what? y/n, i love you. you can't tell me to do that"

"let me go, jj. as long as you sit here and tell me that you love me and have feelings for me, this will never end. and we will be going around in circles and i've been stepping on eggshells long enough for you and i'm done. you love her and she loves you, so be happy with her."

"but i love you too y/n and that's never gonna stop." he says with tears in his eyes.

"i know and i will always love you too, but i can't keep doing this. i can't watch you be with her and not be able to do anything. i can't be able to be alone with you knowing how you feel and not do anything to you. you don't know how badly i've just been wanting to kiss you after hearing you say those words to me. you don't know how bad i want this, but jj i can't do this" i say tears running down my face.

"i'll end it then. i'll cancel the wedding and we can be together."

"no. no, jj you can't do that. i'm not gonna ruin this. you've been with her for six years already, you've created this beautiful relationship and commitment to each other and i'm not just gonna ruin that. she's doesn't deserve that. you just need to let me go, jj. let me get over you because the more i'm around you the more the feelings grow. just let me find happiness within someone else.”

"so what? we're just gonna end our friendship? our years and years of friendship is over just like that? i don't want to lose you. if i cant have you in that way, even though i want to so badly, i still want you in my life as a friend."

"but i can't jj. i can't be around you. please, just let me go. let me get over you and find someone else. maybe one day if it's meant to be we'll find our way back to each other and maybe things can work out differently but for now just let me go." i say as my voice breaks

he sighed, "fine, i'll let you go, but only if you do one thing for me."

"what is it?"

"kiss me."

"w-what?"

"kiss me. i've been waiting years to tell you how i feel about you and finally be able to hold you and kiss you, so please just let me do it."

"jj, i don't know" i say hesitantly

"shay never has to know about this and once we kiss it's over. i'll let you go."

"if i kiss you, you'll let me go?"

"yes."

i sighed looking at jj. i actually got a good look of him right now in this moment. he looks so broken. dried tears streamed down his face, his eyes are puffy, and nose is red, but yet he still looks beautiful. no words can describe how jj looks. "cute" or "hot" never did this man justice. he was beautiful both inside and out and that's why i fell in love with him years ago. and as i started to lean it looking in his eyes all the memories we've made together came flashing through my mind all at once. this is really it. after this i'm actually leaving my best friend, who's the love of my life, to move on with my life.

moments later i felt his soft pink lips mold against mine. our lips moved in sync in such a way i have never felt with anyone else before. there was something about the way his lips moved against mine in such a passionate and loving way that i've never felt before. my stomach was immediately filled with butterflies and my mind went blank. all i could do was be in this moment with him. a few moments later it ended leaving both of us breathless. we stared at each other in awe not knowing a simple goodbye kiss would make us feel this way.

"wow. i've been waiting for this kiss for so long and i never knew it would feel like that." jj said

"neither did i.”

as much as i didn't want to, i knew what had to be done next. i stood up grabbing my bag and walked towards the door.

"so this is really it? you're just leaving now. after what we just felt in that kiss you're still gonna leave?" jj asked

"you know i have to."

"no, you don't have to. you want to, there's a difference. but it’s fine you’re just gonna leave just everyone else does, huh?”

don't turn back now. i know what he’s trying to do. he knows how the last thing i ever wanted to do was leave him like countless of other people in his life have done. but don’t let his words get to you. don't turn back now. the decision is already made. if i go back now i'll never leave and end up in the same cycle again.

i turn around one last time to look at my best friend, "i'm sorry. goodbye, jj."

that was the last time i saw jj.

after that i left the venue without saying anything to anyone. i got a ton of calls from kie, pope, and john b asking me where i was. i know they all eventually found out how i felt about him, which sometimes makes me wonder how he never knew, but then again i'm pretty sure they knew he had feelings for me too and i still never noticed. it's crazy how that happens. you could spend every moment of every day with someone and still be so oblivious to how they really feel about you. i guess i was just so caught up in my feelings for him i never noticed all the signs he showed of liking me back.

they always say what’s meant to be will be no matter how long it takes whether it's a day, a month, or a year. well i never really believed in that until now. years later after i walked out of that room, now stood face to face with the guy who was and still is my everything.