#this is my first animation in 1 billion years so be nice..

[dayvan]

liddle animation i did for my neocities navigation hub

[zuukuzia]

Hey everyone this is Zuukuzia! ^^

I'm writing a Satosugu fanfic on AO3, it's alpha Satoru x omega Suguru :) , it's my first Satosugu fic so I'm kinda excited and need some of your opinions 👉👈

*Summary*

Getuo suguru wanted a fresh start, After he finally got the opportunity to attend to The university of Tokyo by granting the scholarship to be there, It's a one in a billion chance that he worked so hard to have it, He believed he was the luckiest in the entire world for reaching to his goal, It's his dream since he was a child to study there in that famous decent place, And he can't waste it, He can't mess it up or he might loss it because he's not a spoiled brat who got everything he wanted thanks to his family wealth, heck! he's a poor guy who only ate one meal each day just to make sure his grandpa and little foster sisters ate well!.

But as he goes in his first day of his first year at the University, He doesn't expect to come across some arrogant white haired student who thinks that he's some kind of a God and decides to make Suguru's life like a living hell since day one.

Well maybe he's not that lucky after all.....or is he?

here's the link if you're interested ^^

have a nice day 💞

[edsbacktattoo]

hi lets show some love for our mutuals. tag your favorite mutuals and tell them why you love them

oooh bet u thought i forgot about u anon. i didn’t. i’ve been here. scheming and plotting. and i am soooo full of love to give. hold onto your hats

i’m putting the gushing under a cut because this post is getting too long haha whoopsie

@tisziny my darling beloved and dearly cherished friend. one of the first people to reach out to me and i am eternally grateful for their wonderful heart and friendship. my sweetest cheese! 🧀 an incredibly skilled writer and artist who i sincerely admire <3 not enough words to describe my love for them tbh

@skysofrey kaitlin my beautiful and cherished friend and wife. we were cut of the same cloth and then separated at birth but we defied to odds and joined forces anyway! so insightful and kind and sweet and hilarious and overall wonderful (and also sooooo pretty have u guys seen my wife she’s sooooo pretty wtf) 🖤💜❤️

@blackbeardskneebrace miles blackbeardskneebrace the absolute marvel that you are <3 so incredibly nice and extraordinarily talented! every time they post art it adds 100000 years to my lifespan and puts tears in my eyes. genuinely astounding

@blakbonnet despite the angst and antagonising me for Ed’s beard, i will always love Meow with my whole chest. and she can do it all!!! she writes, makes art, makes gifs! she’s even funny and smart and hot and NICE! save some for the rest of us babe come on <3

@gentlebeard ohhhh my sweet wonderful Ella (now with a new and improved url!) so incredibly kind and friendly! always willing for a hot makeout session in the bathroom and will gladly kill someone to defend your honour (i’ve seen her do it). makes edits that make you laugh and then WHABAM!! another that makes you feel like your lungs are being pulled out. love you ella <3

@snake-snack-stede we all know that olivia is the funniest mfer on this whole idiot website. it’s literally not even a contest. but did you guys know she’s also extraordinarily talented? she makes art and animates and makes edits that are gorgeous to look at. also i’m in love with her. she’s the sweetest candy apple at the fair and i’m a snot-nosed kid with an appetite.

@flightoftheconnie sex on legs. i become hot and flustered and feint when i think of her. makes me blush and giggle and kick my feet and she’s funny and smart and hot enough to be in a gallery but she’s here with us instead. give her kisses or die by my sword

@bizarrelittlemew we may not talk often but goodness gracious do i adore you 🥹 my god you’re hilarious and you make some of the most gorgeous gifs ive ever put my gay little eyes on. and yet another blessing to the world of ofmd fanfic <3

@saltpepperbeard JODI!!!!!! if jodi has a billion fans i’m one of them. if she has 100 fans i’m one of them. if Jodi has 0 fans then i’m dead. literally so sweet and kind and enthusiastic and an absolute treasure. and my GOODNESS can she write!! her work feels like a warm hug (just like her!)

@sherlockig literally too hot to be on the hellsite with us but we are so blessed to have her. an absolute TREASURE to this fandom and to anyone who knows her. the amount of lockscreens i’ve got that are just alexz screengrabs is absolutely insane. thank you for all your work i love you forever

@dickfuckk josh — a living breathing legend. any time you need a file? a link? an image? josh has got your back. one of the funniest people i’ve ever interacted with. also makes edits devastating enough to kill a man <3

@xoxoemynn Em my wonderful Cherub From Heaven!!! pure charm and grace, and one of the most enthusiastic and delightful people i’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. such an accomplished and skilled writer as well!

@vampirebutterflies my #1 date to the observatory and my partner in crime <33 so effortlessly funny and kind and has the best taste in music ever. every single song they’ve sent me has been an absolute banger and has been put in the frequent rotation (huge shoutout to Vacations)

@bunnyandthejets my dear and darling friend Bunny who is so incredibly kind and sweet. has been so vocally supportive and enthusiastic since we met and i’m so grateful to have her friendship and support. she’s also made me cackle like an insane person on enough occasions to be criminal.

@wearfinethingsalltoowell don’t let the angst fool you, Joy is actually wonderful and a ray of sunshine <3 i’m convinced she just enjoys causing us pain for fun. she’s creative and wonderful and the World’s Number One Olu Enjoyer (and therefore objectively correct)

@sassygwaine is one of those unabashedly kind souls who simply oozes love into everything they do and create. so genuine and resilient and smart!!! writes like an absolute dream too

@chocolatepot a complete sweetheart who was one of my first friends in this fandom, and who has been consistently friendly and supportive ever since. unwaveringly kind and nice. also her writing. oh my god. 😭 a huge inspiration to silly little me

@jellybeanium124 nina is so effortlessly hilarious. she’s had me giggling and twirling my hair on numerous occasions. she’s also full to the brim with good and correct takes. (also a Button’s truther and the world needs more of those.)

@awkward-fallen-angel heather is just soooo lovely!! another one of the people that’s been here since the very early days and i’m always so grateful for her insight and enthusiasm and the sheer joy she puts into everything.

@stedebonnets i mean this so sincerely and with my whole heart: Ara is one of the nicest and most loving people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. an absolute angel who drops in to consistently check on her friends and spread love and joy. we need more Ara’s in the world. also has one of the most beautiful ofmd tattoos i’ve ever seen <3

if you haven’t been included in this list, please know that i love you so so so dearly and that i genuinely am just a little bit stupid (on account of the short term memory issues lol). if you’re feeling left out, send me a message and i’ll say something sooo niceys about you 🥹 i love you all. thank you for being here. <3

[hjemne]

Ilsa, I’ve seen you posting a lot of Trigun and well I’m intrigued by it, to say the least. But just for giggles, would you try to convince me why should I watch it? 😆🤚🏻

AHHHHH!

I didn't think Trigun was going to worm its way into my brain so much but here we are. There is so much to love about it and I adore so many of the characters for a billion different ways. The character type of someone who is made into a killing machine and then is slowly convinced to accept love and forgiveness is my favourite and is all over trigun. So many characters see themselves as monstrous but choose to do what they see as right for the sake of / with the help of their friends. There are moments of silliness and of tragedy, all with an incredibly interesting setting which slowly gets revealed.

Because of the recent release of Trigun Stampede, the community is really active rn (esp on Tumblr!) and it's really cool to see so many incredible fanarts, comics, fanfics and discussions being made. It's very fun to be part of a very active fandom, but also one that is 25 years old and has fanworks that are older than I am.

I really love it, and I would recommend it, but unfortunately I also have some caveats which I gotta mention.

What you gotta know before getting into Trigun is that there are 4 different canon versions and each one has its problems. I wish I could recommend X version as the definitive and best, but that just doesn't exist which is very annoying.

1) Trigun Maximum: the manga

Good: incredible nuances to characters like Wolfwood, Knives, Livio/Razlo. Vashwood subtext is off the charts and their dynamic is incredibly fascinating and central. This is the most detailed and complex story of Trigun and has lots of themes, characters and plot points that don't exist in other versions. Has elements of sexism and sexual violence, but (imo) to show how shitty the world is, rather than to revel in the misogyny. The tone is tragic, with equal mix of hope and pain.

Bad: the female characters of Meryl and Milly get massively sidelined in comparison to their depictions elsewhere. It's a very long manga and has (imo) pacing issues that limit the impact of emotional moments. The art style is beautiful, but notoriously difficult to follow, especially in the many long fight scenes (particularly bad in volume 5). There's lots of disagreement about 'correct' translations and it can be hard to tell which character is doing/saying/thinking what at points which can make it confusing and frustrating to read at times.

Overall: 7/10, I would recommend but maybe not as your first bit of exposure to Trugun

2) 1998 anime Trigun

Good: the silliest of Triguns with some great voice acting. The friendships between Vash, Milly, Meryl and Wolfwood are very sweet and engaging (although it would have been nice to see more of the four of them together). It's a fun overview of the Trigun story and has a very entertaining mix of comedy and serious emotional moments. Lots of hijinks and lots of fights. Milly and Meryl are core characters and get time to shine (it is impossible not to love Milly). This is personal preference but the animation style is kinda goofy in the way it changes styles to exaggerate characters' feelings which I love. The first 12 ISH episodes are very Saturday morning cartoon vibes without being too inane and childish.

Bad: because it only had the first couple of volumes of the manga to adapt from, the mid-season tone shift and later fights feel rushed, a little confusing and ultimately lead to a less satisfying conclusion than in trimax. The misogyny is noticeable, especially in the first couple of episodes, though is limited to a couple of comments in some episodes and doesn't (I think) make it unwatchable. The antagonists are rushed through and it's hard to work out who the 'main' villain is. Tone change is quite abrupt. Wolfwood is a less developed character with a less intense (back)story, Livio/Razlo doesn't exist at all etc

Overall: 7/10, this is what I'd recommend you start with. It has pacing issues and uncomfortable sexist comments, but I think they're outweighed by the strengths of the main casts relationships and the pure entertainment value of it. Not the most satisfying ending, but they were constrained so :/

3) Badlands Rumble (film)

Good: animation is SO crisp. Wolfwood is at maximum chest exposure and actually his character is pretty interesting here. Milly and Meryl are back, but in limited roles. Some interesting world building and Vash and Wolfwood go thru their divorce arc TM which is dumb and funny and angsty.

Bad: Wolfwood is far too pale. The first half an hour is made almost unwatchable by the decision to make sexism and sexual harrassement a way to pad out the runtime. Vash is such a creep it just makes for uncomfortable watching.

4/10 don't watch if you're not already invested, and honestly do yourself a favour by watching the opening scene, then skipping to the 30 min ish mark and watch knowing that Vash has some very tough dried meat in his front coat pocket.

4) Trigun Stampede anime

Good: really cool 3D animation and music. Has Wolfwood's manga backstory and some manga characters like Livio and Crimsonnail, but with very different characterisations. I really liked the episode looking at the childhood of two orphans and how their love for each other was manipulated against them both. Much bigger focus on Knives than the original and more elaboration of his motivations and plans. Zazie is SO much better here than in the original anime. No uncomfortable sexism yay!

Bad: I... don't like tristamp very much. The characters are watered down from their manga versions and Knives is just kinda evil because he was en evil child, rather than the much more nuanced version in trimax. Milly doesn't exist (yet) and they added in a new character Roberto whose role in the story is (or at least was to me) obvious if you know the basics of the hero's journey structure. Everyone has been twinkified and Wolfwood doesn't even have his tits out smh. Vash just comes across as having less agency and his motivations feel weak. I really just dont like a lot of the character decision here BUT to be fair, that's because I'm comparing them to the manga. But also, a main plot point is someone taking over his brother's body so that his sisters can get pregnant and it definitely still feels weird in context. The focus on the two brothers makes other dynamics a little weaker, and has led to a lot of incest-y fandom things which is ehh.

5.5/10 there are some things it does very well and it's very popular for a reason but I personally think the characterisations are disappointing. It's trying to strike a weird balance between being its own, new thing and also nostalgia for original elements, leading to some questionable pacing and plot choices. It doesn't even have Midvalley the Hornfreak.

I would love to be able to talk about Trigun with you and be passionate about the elements of it I love, but also I don't want to recommend it without giving you a fair picture of the parts I'm more critical about. I genuinely love the world building and characters, which are expressed best in the less accessible form of the manga but are also found in the animes. What I'd recommend is watching the original anime first, but also you might need to give it the benefit of the doubt for the first couple episodes which is where the dodgy 90s sexism is most obvious. I'd be super interested in hearing your thoughts and reactions to it if you did watch it, and also please bear in mind that my complaints about tristamp are personal and there are many who love that version so don't take my negativity as fact.

[onmypinkmother]

Today's very special and lengthy One Donut a Day is about one of my favorite Hoops and Yoyo shorts 

Its a cute little animation of Yoyo taking a walk around listening to the song Sugar Vendor by Softee. 

Love the use of real locations. Piddles house is so cute too. I want to live there so badddughh!!! >w<

It's such an interesting short as its the only one of its kind, It feels branded like it was supposed to be its own recurring series but its not.

 So after watching something like this I wondered how hoops and yoyo collaborated with an indie band but finding that kind of information is hard. First of all the band, Softee was an indie Pop band from Kansas City, Missouri had a pretty short run starting in 2009 and going for a few years before becoming inactive. 

Excerpt from their youtube channel description,

“Softee is Sarah/bass/lead vox, Mimi/drums/vox, Flora/cello/keys & Steph/guitar/vox. A super fun lo-fi indie pop band from KC, USA, Softee met at work and are designer/illustrators by day and power popsters by night. They LOVE it and have a blast!!! We have 2 EPs & 2 singles available on itunes and amazon!!”

Looking at their page cant give me that much but it's something. Their albums are hard to find let alone catalog how many releases they’ve made. What I can find is 2 Ep’s and sugar vendor on a compilation album FIRST BLOOD which is the only way to listen to Sugar Vendor in good quality. Or like at all. Their youtube page has some of their songs performed live however the band being active in 2009 does not equate to the best quality. 

They’re cool but I wish there were more answers. I'll try to find some contact info for members of the band and how they came in contact with Hallmark. Maybe they had ties due to their design work? If they did the (really nice) art for their albums and banners) they do match the styles Hallmark has for their media in this era. Their art has this cute little baby squirrel? I think thats what it is these icons and posters are nice.

 So if I think the obvious thing is to either contact Mike Adir and or Bob Holt but that would seem like a hassle because I'd have a billion questions about Hoops and Yoyo to ask them. 

Well now that that section of the post is done with theres some merchandise based off this short, an Ipod case. It has Yoyo on one side with his ipod with some edited headphones instead of wearing the Apple Earbud style earbuds he wears in the Short, and Hoops on the other side just bein silly :p 

Heres some things I ripped from the flash file. I wanted to rip Yoyos adorable little head bobbing but this ones really strange compared to other flash files i’ve digged into where I could not find this animation by itself in the file. 

So have these of Yoyo and Piddles and the full backgrounds uncropped.

Speaking of the backgrounds I wondered where Yoyo was walking. So for fun I tried to find out what the real world locations of the walk and map the trail so lets see where these locations are now. 

Yoyo Takes a walk around 63rd street in the Brookside District in Kansas City Missouri possibly due to the band being from there maybe they frequented the spot. So lets reveal (almost) all the real locations from the short.

Location 1 - BlueBird Cafe 

The short begins and ends here and Bluebird Cafe is actually a CVS :( I think has been for a long time.

Location 2 -  Coffee Depot

Coffee Depot has an interesting history as it was once a Goodcents sandwich shop to now a Starbucks so it kind of is a Coffee Depot but less cute and more corporate and a big lack of a giant coffee mug on top I don't know if that was there at all or edited in.

Location 3 - pink house :) 

My personal favorite location as its such a pretty house. Unfortunately it was repainted in blue by the company that currently occupies it, a pest control service. I have no idea what previous business occupied the house as when i find other images of the house it seems to be up for sale. An odd point on googles street view shows one capture from 2011 when the house was still pink frozen in time. Such a shame a pretty house was repainted :( 

Location 4 - restaurant and DOGGONE IT!

Yoyo sits on the bench, reads a paper, and has a little dance break in front of these 2 buildings on a which are 3 stores. The restaurant is now 2 separate stores, a pet salon and a framing shop. Doggone it is a clothing store now.

Location 5 Ye olde donut shoppee

So this is the one I have no ideas about, reverse image search didn’t give me a clue and i took a street view tour around the area but did not find a matching building so this ones odd so please if anyone can find it let me know.

Location 6 - Chillis Delli

The location Yoyo passes but waits to cross the street is actually a restaurant so its not too off.

Bonus thing! - Hallmark location 

While researching the street I viewed old videos touring the area and had stumbled upon an old hallmark store there on the street. So I believe this may have something to do with the connection to Hallmark and Softee idk thats just my theory.

This has been a very long and big project post when it wasn't supposed to be, however the questions keeps piling and I enjoyed researching for this one. Next post may not be as long but will still have lots to it. 

Hello again and goodbye for a little - Penny <3

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (07/04/24)

new season starting and a new serialization round on wsj too next week fun times fun times also there's some shows that I haven't started that should be on the list, those being: - Shinymas, which started on friday and CR supposedly picked it up but still hasn't posted subs yet 😒and there's no fansubs either - Jellyfish, dogakobo's new show that I posted about when it got announced. I wasn't sure about it so haven't watched ep 1 yet, but my buddy mega liked it and said it has promise so it convinced me to actually do it next week in one of my days with no shows - Girls Band Cry, similarly to jellyfish I posted about it when it got announced. I love the character designer and have followed them for years so I was curious about the show but learning that it was gonna be CG was a huge turn off. Since it came out I've seen some clips and the cg is actually really good so I'd like to check it out regardless of it being like that. There's just a huge problem, that it's not officially licensed anywhere and the subs fucking suck ass (whole drama thing around them I won't get into) so unless it gets proper subs in the next few weeks then I'll have to pass on it

BUT ANYWAY

green - new series/new to me blue - finale/completed

Anime

Mission: Yozakura Family Ep1

that was a good first ep. there wasn't anything impressive but if they keep up this quality throughout the whole run and just have some sakuga crumbs sprinkled in every now and then I'll be content. from the PVs the first few eps all looked good and it's been confirmed for a while that it's 2 consecutive cours so that gives me some hope. Also the whole voice cast is very good but that's to be expected from such a star studded cast but anyway yozakura is a very fun manga with a very likeable cast so I'll be looking forward to this every week

Blue Archive Ep1

well that was about as good as I expected, really good ep 1. TERRIBLE subs tho so I'll be hoping a fansubbing group picks it up soon. It's been a billion years since I saw these early parts of the story since I've been playing the game since launch but I still remember it p well. I'm assuming they'll cover the whole abydos arc and only that from what we know from pvs and stuff, so should be a fun time, especially when aru and the crew show up too. Looked really good, animation was nice too, voices were good too ofc and hearing the game tracks in the anime was nice too. I'll be looking forward to this while it airs for sure

Metallic Rouge Ep 13 (Finale)

MR was bones' 25th anni show so I had some good expectations and I thought the premise was neat too (felt like blade runner) but it turned out very lackluster. I shoulda known that the glut of bones' talent is allocated to mha but I still wanted to have some hope for the show. my buddy mega gave it a 4 and that's probably fair, the show is riddled with issues but I liked the performances enough to be a bit softer with it (miyamoto yume and kurosawa tomoyo [the two mains] especially) but anyway, animation was pretty weak all through the show, even having times where it felt off model. there were some crumbs of sakuga but never anything actually impressive like you'd expect from bones, even in the finale. the story was pretty hard to follow for a good while too cause they decided to start mid journey so there was a ton of stuff the characters talked about like everyone should know but we'd have no way of knowing and then also did a not great job of explaining things until way later on. also the finale was looking like it was gonna end on a sequel hook which made me ??? but it actually didn't so that's good the music was actually p good and I enjoyed a buncha tracks from it and the voice performances were good too anyway, not a terrible show but not worth the watch too, which is a shame for an anni project like this, oh well

The Witch and the Beast Ep12 (Finale)

well that was alright. I had higher expectations for it cause like I said on ep 1 I heard good things about the manga but it was alright. Doesn't help that the show didn't have very much in the way of animation. It had a lot of cool drawings but the animation itself wasn't much to talk about. The cast was good tho and the music was also nice albeit not that memorable. As for the story, I don't mind anthology series like this but all the world explanations and reveals that they did at the end of this finale shoulda been waaaay earlier in the show, cause it actually made me a lot more interested in the world, but maybe that's just me and my DM brain being like that and most people like how it was already. My favourite of the stories/arcs was the sword witch one, not just cause swords pog (tho it helps), but just cause it had some really cool moments and I liked the charas more Anyway, the finale ended on a sequel hook but there hasn't been one announced (at time of writting) and I don't expect to see one either but I also said that about wedding rings and chained slave and was wrong about those so who knows really. Dunno if I'll ever end up reading the manga but the anime didn't put it completely out of question and I did like the lore they gave this ep so we'll see

Bucchigiri Ep12 (Finale)

well that was nice. it's funny how I only learned about this show like a week before it started while I had been looking forward to MR for a while and MR turned out a lot weaker. it was a bit unfocused at times but it was still good. I didn't go in expecting much out of the animation cause it's mappa and jujutsu s2 had just ended and you know all the stuff that was being talked about it around then. and I was right not to, cause there was never anything impressive really, tho the few fights that did have coreography looked cool oh also it had the best OP/ED of the season like I said on this post show felt pretty old school too, not just cause of the designs but the general low tech (no smartphones or anything) so that was nice not really much more to say about it, it's not a show I'd recommend watching but it also wasn't a waste of time. it was just a way to spend some 20 mins having a fairly enjoyable time every saturday

Dungeon Meshi Ep14

man I've known kabru is a little freak from all the posts I've seen about him here but he's even worse than I thought. and worst of all is I could relate to him in some parts 😔 tho knowing some of the stuff that's coming I know there's more differences than things in common but still good ep tho, even if I'm not a big fan of him or his party (yet?) the new op is a banger tho like it a lot more than the first one, tho I prefer the first ed over the one so equivalent exchange I guess

Manga

MamaYuyu Ch29 (Finale)

I know it's weird for a finale to end of a cliffhanger like below but it's cause the actual final chap will be in the volume release. shame that it turned out like that but not much you can do about it. it was a good series tho, from the start you could really tell from the designs that the author worked as an assistant to horikoshi. their panelling is super creative and unique and the art was really good too. the action was clear and easy to follow for the most part and the power system was neat as well. I'm totally convinced that this author could have a hit in the future if they keep doing serializations. I've said this a billion times for the last handful of series that have ended but it's a shame that something like nue keeps trucking along and doing decent in the rankings while good series like this get axed. the 7 score is provisory cause we don't have the actual finale, but I doubt it'll be bad enough to make me downgrade it to a 6 so it'll prob stay like that. I'll be looking forward to whatever hayashi does next, like I said before they certainly have a lot of potential

[come-chaos]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks so much for the tag, @elismor and @valkeakuulas !

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 24

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 218,792

3. What fandoms do you write for? At the moment, I seem to be writing exclusively for the animated Star Wars shows.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Suns Tempered by Devotion

Psychostasia

Someone Like You

The Path That Brings Us Home

Relief Support

Unsurprisingly, my Codywan fic tops the list. Number 2–4 are some of my favourite works, so that's nice. Number 5 is ... unexpected, haha! I can't help but notice that none of my cloneshipping fics made the list.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. I am personally far more inclined to comment on a fic if I notice that the author replies to their comments, so of course I will take care to reply to the comments I receive!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I wrote The Maker Makes No Mistakes back in 2013, in which the angsty ending more or less equals the entire plot. In more recent years, I wrote Suns Tempered by Devotion, where the angsty ending is taken directly from canon – something I did not expect to shock my readers, as I had not yet learnt that canon non-compliance is the norm in Star Wars fanfiction, haha!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Almost all of my works feature, at the very least, a pinch of angst or wistfulness towards the end, but I think Figures of Speech actually builds up to an ending that's just plain happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Absolutely. It's one of my very favourite things to write. I generally aim to write smut that is realistic, that keeps the characters unique, and that subverts the occasional trope.

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Also nope.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Uhhh, good question. I tend to stay in fandoms for a long time, but there's no ship in particular that I can think of that has always remained my favourite.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have always finished every WIP that I've truly cared about.

16. What are your writing strengths? I get it done, even when I have to edit a work a billion times. I am nothing if not perseverant. And meticulous. Hence all the editing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Most of the time, it takes a tremendous effort for me to put words together. A major reason is that English is only my second language, but my brain also seems to simply work poorly in some ways. Another reason why I need to edit my fics a lot is because I keep changing my idea of the characters, which can also be very frustrating.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I enjoy it when foreign words are sprinkled in for flavour, but full incomprehensible sentences that I need to understand in order to follow the story are just annoying. I could see it work if the difficulty is somehow the point (for example if the main character is learning the language and we get to experience the struggle alongside them), but only if the translations are easily accessible right next to the lines.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I've dabbled in this kind of thing since I was a child, but The Hobbit was the first fandom I published a fic for.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I think The Path That Brings Us Home is my best work, but Someone Like You is my favourite. I poured a lot into that one, and it's by far the longest fic I've ever written.

No-pressure tags: @trudemaethien and @silverxsakura

(Questions under cut)

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

[fujoreads]

Memories of Emanon // Review

Yesterday was my birthday, and I decided to read Emanon: Memories of Emanon—a manga adaptation of Shinji Kajio's novel of the same title.

I remember when I found this title. I was at an anime con, looking at new translated releases when I found it. I had never even heard of it before and so I got curious. To be honest, I partially bought it because I felt pressured by the seller, but the art was so pretty that it wasn't a difficult purchase.

The whole art and vibe of the manga reminded me of my parents when they were young—in their case, it was more during the 80s rather than the 60s.

As someone who reads a lot of manga, it’s nice to find new manga I don’t know anything about, so this was an exciting purchase. It did take me almost an entire year to read it though, given I bought it almost in June.

When I searched for this work online, I found multiple volumes, so I wasn’t sure if this was a standalone or a series. I got worried, thinking I’d get invested and then not have the whole story with me.

Turns out this is pretty much its own story, and the following volumes are a little extra for those looking for more. I might check those out.

I can’t describe my experience reading this, but it was like I was just vibing the whole time… It felt peaceful, reflective, and mysterious.

I’ve been getting more and more into literary fiction and “plotless fiction” (a story where nothing big really happens) as of recent, and this certainly satisfies my urges. In an unexpected way too.

By the way, this does have a plot, just a very vague one.

Plot

What would you do if you had a three billion year old memory?

In the winter of 1967, a 20-year-old man returns home from his travels aboard a ferry, where a chance encounter forever alters his perception of the world around him. While relaxing in the cabin, he is approached by a beautiful yet enigmatic girl who introduces herself as Emanon; later that evening, the pair accompany each other to dinner. After seeing the man read a science fiction novel, Emanon offers to tell him her life story, saying that he doesn't have to believe it unless he wants to. And much to the man's surprise, she proceeds to inform him that her memory dates back over three billion years, to the very moment when life first appeared on Earth.

You know about those stories where a stranger tells you an abusrd tale that makes you stand there thinking? I see it happen a lot, especially in Japanese media.

I find this form really beautiful, though I don’t really understand why. Maybe it’s the way casual conversation with humans can be so interesting, even if a lot of them don’t appear that way.

Art

One of the main factors for this purchase, as I previously mentioned. Emanon’s art is enchanting, somehow seducing me into reading it without knowing anything about its plot—literally.

The way Tsuruta draws Emanon is so charming. Her clothing reminds me a lot of my parents own outfits, so I’d say it fits with the whole setting.

I find this artstyle a breath of fresh air, even if I too love the moe side of manga and anime.

Characters

This story technically has three characters, though it mostly follows Emanon and our protagonist.

Emanon, as her name implies (if you reverse her name, you’ll get ”No Name”), is a mysterious girl. She does have her own personality, but it makes you wonder what or who she really is. Though in the end, she’s more of an idea than a character. I’m pretty sure she’ll be better developed in the extra volumes, but since this is an isolated story adaptation, I’ll be judging according to this alone.

Our protagonist doesn’t have much going for him as well: he’s mostly our eyes and POV. He loves reading science fiction, and that’s what makes Emanon tell him her story. Besides that, though, he’s very average—which isn’t bad, especially for these kinds of stories.

Writing

This was a very much direct adaptation from the original written story. You’ll notice in the first pages that there are 1:1 sentences from the original work. That said, I enjoyed it. It’s casual but captivating, and does a great job showing Emanon’s character.

Worldbuilding

The story is set in the real world, Japan.

However, the writing gives us context of what has been happening in these past years (the 60s).

Themes

What is time? What do memories make us as individuals—and most of all, can one random encounter change your entire life?

This is a story that will stuck with you for a while, especially when it comes to these topics and themes.

The way the author approached this felt very ethereal and even divine, like this girl wasn’t even human.

Conclusion

This was a shorter review, but I truly enjoyed my time with this read. It got me in the mood to read more of this girl’s life, so I might just do that in the future!

If you enjoy sci-fi concepts like reencarnation through memories, you’ll like this! I’d say to give it a try either way, as it’s so short!

Overall, I’ll give this a 7/10 or 4 stars!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Thank you for reading it all to the end! Hey, kind stranger! Would you be so kind and consider giving me a little tip? It can be as low as 3 bucks and it’d make a huuuuuge difference!! If you tip 10€ (or higher), you can dictate my next read and be credited (if you’d like) on that review! Have a nice day!!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

saturday again no problem (a tuesdaypost retrospective)

sort of mixed feelings about this one bc, as we have previously chatted about, the august 2021-august 2022 period was one of the worst twelve-month periods of my life.

however! this year brought like six new tuesdaypost initiatives from other people (please shout at me in the comments or by DM bc my brain is broken and i don't remember all of you) and i DO want to take a look back at some media i enjoyed.

the normal format + some misc. stats below

listening

here are all the tuesdaysongs plus Permanent Peace by Jack de Quidt, who is not on spo/tify. this year gave me albums by: joywave, alt-j, unloved, scene queen, new doja cat, a bunch of junie and the hutfriends singles, and the gleeful insanity of the mcr tour. VERY good musical year imo

-

reading

this historically has been one of the more fallow categories, bc there is a level of background pain where it is quite difficult for me to read and viddy gaem is a better distraction.

could have sworn i read three cowboy novelizations this year but i can only find evidence that i read the sabata and red river novelizations. i have mixed feelings about the execution of Tom Lin's The Thousand Crimes of Ming Tsu and Silvia Moreno-Garcia's Gods of Jade and Shadow but do not regret reading either.

no particular comics or manga stand out in my fallible, forgettable brain this year. i am excited for the ongoing light novel and manga adaptation of Otherside Picnic but that's just from watching the anime

-

watching

happy that letterboxd is doing part of the thing i wanted (getting me to watch more movies) deeply annoyed i have fallen into the trap i was afraid of. this trap is: I Want To Make The Number Go Up and am now reluctant to watch tv bc i can't log it on letterboxd and it doesn't "count". fucking hate to gamify my own leisure like this!!!!

the very good thing about letterboxd is that my friends have excellent taste, and letterboxd reminds me which of the eight billion django knockoffs i have and have not seen.

GOD was january a good movie month. the below screenshot is movies i watched for the first time this year and really liked/have stuck in my head in some way, and 3/8ths were from january. thank u library streaming service kanopy

see letterboxd has taken such a big chunk of my Moving Images time that it was hard to remember that both peaky blinders and killing eve ended this year!!! and i rewatched several seasons of adventure time! and most of the first season of DS9! and i am now in the process of watching the vampire interview show with my sister!!!

-

playing

got a handmedown switch!

this year was mostly big open worlds that didn't require a lot of complex thought from me, or if they did require some puzzle solving it was in really short bursts. lion's share of the hours this year went to fallout 4, breath of the wild, and pokemon scarlet. i really loved junk shop telescope, depanneur nocturne, and card cowboy.

honorary mentions to phone games that kept my anxiety to a low simmer while in a lot of doctor's offices.

game im most hype for is probably the spooky fishing game Dredge, but i don’t think we’ll get that until early 2024. if anyone says the words "fallout 5" next year i will lose my mind bc i would like another one of these stupid motherfuckers before i die.

-

making

i think i'm going to mourn the old lair until i die.

i am deeply, deeply unhappy with how this year went both personally and professionally. made an apartment cozy. lost the cozy apartment. cleaned a whole bunch of metal. framed a lot of things. bought a whole bunch of furniture. still have moths.

hate to leave this post on this note however i really should have died twice this year and didn’t. so im trying to be nice to myself about the rest of it.

-

bonus stats

47/52 weeks posted

moves: 1 (assisted with two)

recipes failed: many

postcards sent: many

number of 1040s i will receive next month: 4

overnight trips: 2

day trips: 3

covid: +1

serious covid scares: 9

combined hospital and doctor's visits: don't worry about it

number of lamps: also don't worry about it what are you a cop

cats: +1

[santaverse]

Meet the New Santas for 2022!

[ Hello again, everyone! Thank you for all the support towards Part 1 of the fic I posted this morning! I’ll be posting the parts throughout the Holiday Season, so I hope y’all will look forward to North, Nicholas, and Sleepy Santa’s adventure! ]

[ Now onto the exciting part! Here are the Santa Clauses I’ve added this year! ]

( feel free to go to the muse page to get... more or less, more cohesive blurbs about the characters! )

1. Apalpador

The Galician Santa Claus is here! This year, thanks to a movie called Pixi Post and the Gift Bringers (or Pixi Saves Christmas), I’ve added different Santa Claus depictions from around the world! It was a huge learning experience, but a very intriguing one! I hope you all enjoy Apalpador and the other genies from this series!

2. Bolly Santa

This Santa Claus is from an animated music video where he dances in celebration of the ick-vaccine. If that premise alone didn’t hook you on the idea of a Bollywood dancing Santa, then I don’t know what else will!

3. Boomer Santa

Did you know there was a 2006 retelling of the holiday classic; A Year Without a Santa Claus? Well, it exists! And boy, is it a mess! A chaotic movie with an equally chaotic Santa Claus. This dude really gets mad that kids are playing Soul Calibur 2. Mans need to get a GRIP.

4. Cap’n Claus

Leave it to a Nick Jr. Cartoon to give me another compelling Santa Claus! (I’ve gotta thank my Niece for being glued to that channel lol) This Santa Claus is pretty clearly a pirate, right? He’s got the cool clothes and captain’s hat! Well, in all actuality, this Santa Claus spends the entirety of his appearance learning how to be a proper nice pirate! It’s just a pure as it sounds! You’ll definitely get charmed by this Santa. He does these cool poses and winks at the camera a lot- Dude KNOWS he’s cool!

5. Hoteiosho

Celebrated in Japan as a Santa Claus figure, Hoteiosho brought something to my attention that I never noticed. He’s a Buddhist Santa Claus. ...Those two concepts have so much in common, having one as a gift-bringer makes so much sense. He wasn’t in the movie for long (he was captured first), but dang it he’s gonna get his flowers on this blog! 

6. JACKED Santa

The Villainous Santa Claus from Captain Underpants!!! I ADORE Captain Underpants, but never watched the Cartoon at all! It’s a shame because I’ve missed out on one of the most hilarious portrayals of Santa Claus yet. He’s an absolute dude-bro meathead who demands you give HIM presents for Blissmas. Amazing, incredible, 10/10, love this guy.

7. Manga Claus

An obscure pick from a mid 2000s book, This Santa Claus may appear docile at first, but when he wields his twin blades (The Miyaguchi Daisho), he reveals his decades of training and absolutely intimidating stature. He’s the definition of edge, and I LOVE it.

8. Monopolish

A Roman Santa Claus who was stripped of his powers once he was revealed to be stealing the glory of his genie counterparts. Now he’s the leader of his own multi-billion dollar company (where some defected elves work for him) in which he plans to capture the other genies and get his powers back. He’s a good villain who shows genuine sorrow for not having any children who believe in him.

9. Olentzero

The Basque Santa Claus! (also voiced by Eggman himself) Olentzero is one of the best reasons to watch Pixi Post and the Gift Bringers. The guy is just an absolutely softie. He’ll always do what he can to help, even if he has no clue what he’s doing. He’s great!

10. Robo Santa

This Santa was recommended to me since this blog’s creation a few years back, and I couldn’t see myself adding any Santa that was overly malicious to the blog. Well, years later and a few bad Santas added, here we are! To be honest I’m still not entirely sure how I’m going to keep his more violent nature in-tact, but a robotic Santa Claus that thinks even the most minute action to be Naughty is just an incredible basis for RPing. I couldn’t say no!

11. Skinny Santa

Definitely the most requested Santa Claus I’ve ever had for this blog, and for good reason! Similarly to Robo Santa, I was against Skinny Santa joining the blog because I never thought there was much to him aside from just being a jerk for the entirety of the movie? But there’s a bit more to his character admittedly, and I have a few jerky Santas here now, so what’s one more?

His addition was long overdue.

12. Snegurochka and Ded Moroz

The Russian / Slavic pair of Santa Clauses! In Pixi Post and the Gift Bringers, the Santa Clauses are referred to as Genies, and Snegurochka (the most difficult name in the world to spell) is the de-facto leader of them all! These two bring such a unique portrayal of a Santa Claus, I had to add them!

13. Sporty Santa

A Santa Claus from a relatively underrated Christmas Special, Sporty Santa is a Santa Claus who is that friendly elderly guy who helps you out at a convenience store, or you see at a sporting event! He’s hidden in plain sight and I just think he’s neat! (PS, I neeeed his sweater, it looks so soft!!)

14. The Three Wise Men

If I was going to add just one Genie/Santa from Pixi Post and the Gift Bringers, it was going to be the Three Wise Men. They’ve had their appearances in cartoons before (they have their own day for crying out loud), but never specifically doing the Santa Claus shtick! They’re full of character in this movie too! Caspar’s got a bit of spice to him, getting the other two in unwanted fights- it’s so great. I’m so excited to show y’all this portrayal of this trio!

-

[ phew! that’s all! this brings the blog to 64* (not counting duos, trios, or mrs. clauses) Santas! WOW, I never really expected to find this many new Santas, but each year I seem to find or be recommended something with a unique Santa portrayal! The goal of this year was to be the last Santas added... but I already have my eye on some Santas that are in animated projects lauching next year, sooo.... looks like there really isn’t an end to the Santaverse! ]

[ I’ll be making a Starter Call very soon! Until then, thank you & Happy Almost Holidays!! ]

[space-ship-earth-crew]

(These are all animated gifs I created with the new Meta AI capabilities)

Imagine a Spaceship Earth Crew Fellowship of Trek showing up at your door as alternative to Jehovah’s Witneses and religious missionaries approaching you on street corners! 

SECFOT: “Good afternoon! We’d like to talk to you about the future!” 

Resident: “What kind of future?”

SECFOT: “Imagine a timeline where humanity builds a future and a starship without the World War! We are talking about a united human crew of spaceship Earth, living in a United Federation of Nations where our energies are no longer channeled towards fear and war, but have been freed up to provide a life of peace and prosperity for all, ending poverty, providing new resources to explore, not wage the next World War!” 

Resident: “That sounds impossible! I was raised in a church to believe humans are fallen, doomed to fail, we are in the End Times, the rise of the Antichrist and battle of Armageddon will be our fate.”

SECFOT: “In our Spaceship Earth Crew, we share some common ground. The science fiction that inspires us so much, imagines a timeline where World War 3 erupts in 2026, destroying between 600 hundred million and 2 billion humans. And it takes a detour through another long dark age before humanity finally learns its lesson; we shouldn’t fight ourselves, but live united as one crew on one spaceship Earth, in a type 1 global civilization at peace and in prosperity. Luckily for us, I don’t know of a single fan of Star Trek who believes this timeline can’t be changed, and has declared a fatwa against J J Abrahams for creating the alternate Kelvin timeline. Star Trek teaches us about the power of possibility; that our future hasn’t yet been written, and right up to the very end, life is to be worn gloriously, because until our last moment, the future’s what we make it!” 

Resident: “That sounds great in theory! But how are you going to change the world’s destructive course?”

SECFOT: “It is true things look bleak, but through conversations like this one, we can build consensus, new alliances and bring about lasting change. I want to find fellowship with the optimists in our species, how about you?”

Resident: “Yes, finding hope amidst despair would be nice!” 

SECFOT: “Exactly! How bad does it have to get before we rise up and take action towards what’s needed, but isn’t getting done? I’m sure you’re already aware we have entered an unprecedented time in human history, where the promise and peril of technology has never been greater. The threat most concerning to me at the moment, is skyrocketing levels of CO2 in the atmosphere leading to all the climate catastrophe stress that could bring about the Armageddon you were taught is unavoidable. 

My dad and mom were born at 330 CO2 parts per million in the skies. Today we are almost up one hundred more, where the last time this level existed in the Earth atmosphere, was around 3 million years ago. Already exacerbating the climate crisis, the oil age continues to dominate our lives and planet’s fate. And we have already begun the very dangerous experiment of determining the effects micro-plastics will have on human and animal biology, when there is nowhere now we can go to escape them. 

I want to believe in a future like Star Trek, where technology eventually becomes our salvation, not self-destruction! Imagine if ICBM nuclear missiles designed to destroy the world, could be repurposed, carrying US to the stars, providing the means to find a warp drive propulsion system as was imagined in the film Star Trek First Contact! That’s what I want to see happen for real, not just fantasized about in our science fiction! How about you?”

Resident: “Of course!”

SECFOT: “It doesn’t require genius to see that in the nuclear age, the greatest enemy is war itself. That’s why our goal is to embrace the peace of common ground our species shares rather than irreconcilable differences! Can I tell you about the one place I’ve experienced where this is possible?”

Resident: “Sure!”

SECFOT: “I once met someone who thought very different than me. If we focused on all our irreconcilable differences, we would have never found the common ground, serving to bind our friendship as it is today. Both of us visited a telescope to view the planet Jupiter. Seeing such a massive planet brought so close through that telescope, blew our minds. Here was something tangible and inescapable we both shared; circling around the same sun on the same planet, in close proximity to a massive gas giant that could be seen and experienced with our own eyes! It is this commonality we all share on the same tiny planet, that needs to be witnessed first hand by the peoples in every nation! 

Resident: “If that’s the case, why not build a fellowship of Astronomy?”

SECFOT: “That’s exactly what we want to do through a fellowship of Trek! This science fiction juggernaut is devoted to stories about humans who do so much more than just view the mind blowing beauty of this Cosmos through telescopes; they actually use technology towards humanist ends to unite Earth and build starships where we can actually go see these celestial objects up close first hand in breathtaking detail, orbiting and even beaming down to their surfaces, to explore what other mind blowing wonders remain hidden from our reach. 

We want to build healing bridges with view screens to visualize the universe in every major city on Earth, uniting our humanity in ways religions can only dream about. And we want to partner with the progressive religious communities who truly understand love and the value of the greatest story ever told about our final frontier! I have spoken to religious peoples, whose faces light up when I talk to them about Star Trek.  Many of them, love its utopian vision just as much as secular humanists.”

Resident: At my church, the Bible is what brought us together. What do you have that’s more potent than God’s word?”

SECFOT: “No holy scriptures are needed for our fellowship, just a tablet or smartphone with access to all 900 episodes of Star Trek, over a dozen movies, video games, hundreds of fan films and thousands of novels. And we want these healing bridges to be connected to crowdsourced networked telescopes spread across the surface of Earth, visualizing the cosmos in detail greater than any individual telescope can achieve on its own! This is a fellowship teaching us about the power of the global mind, not in a hive like brain similar to the fascist Borg, but creating family bonds that transcend biology like the Federation, through the power of intelligence and benevolence, bringing in new members through benefits of what they gain, not through threats and fear of what they’ll lose.”

Resident: “Ok, what can I gain by joining your Spaceship Earth Crew?”

SECFOT: “You’ll be joining in a cause greater than yourself, part of a new family that transcends the divisiveness of race, culture, class and nations refusing to act like states in a global country! You’ll find kinship with the optimists within humanity tapping into the power of possibility, organizing as a new political network to elect secular humanist candidates who see our planet not for capitalism to exploit in a militaristic end game towards World War 3, but as a single organism capable of healing and helping us reach the next stage in our collective evolution as one human family tapping into the power of possibility and organizing powers of higher intelligence to change the future, so we can all live long and prosper!”

Resident: “I’m all for that! Where do you meet?”

SECFOT: “Because we’re just starting out and haven’t yet built any physical healing bridges, we meet every week, not in churches, synagogues, temples or mosques, but in virtual starship healing bridges. You will be assigned and connected to a Spaceship Earth crew of around a dozen members scattered across diverse nations on every continent, with limited members serving from Antarctica, all of us united by the global mind of the World Wide Web in VR space on board a bridge of a starship, to build new family bonds that transcend biology, where diversity becomes our greatest strength, not weakness. 

Even if you met with your bridge crew in person and couldn’t understand what they say, the technology of universal translation software, will help us all communicate as if we all speak the same language, while making it look like your mouth is annunciating all the words I understand.” 

Resident: “That sounds awesome!” 

SECFOT: “Great to hear your enthusiasm and new hope for the future! What’s the most convenient way I can put you in touch for the first meeting with your bridge crew?” 

Resident: “My phone number is 551.382.7690”

SECFOT: “Excellent! Got it! Expect your first call soon! Thank you so much for your time!” 

Resident: “It was my pleasure!” 

SECFOT: “Live long and prosper!” 🖖🏽

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

The Thrilling Saga of Connie paying real life money for the Worst Sonic TV Show

Let’s begin with the simple fact that me and my sister, @birdsareblooming​ “Cori”, have both been hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog since last March. During this hyperfixation, I was on Sonic Wiki to copy-paste song lyrics onto my stolen mp3s, and I called my sister in and pointed at the template at the bottom. 

“What is this Sonic Underground thing?” I asked. “It has one shit billion songs.” 

So we clicked on the page to read about it, and each sentence we read was a punch in the gut and this quickly became the funniest thing we’d ever read. Highlights include:

It looks like this:

“Sonic[...] is known to be a prince” 

Sonic has two siblings who actually have good characterization but their names are literally just Sonia and Manic. Like. Sonic split into two names. jesus christ 

Also Sonic and his siblings all share a voice actor. honestly Jaleel White does his best with it but 

“The three siblings possess enchanted medallions that transform not only into musical instruments, but also into weapons.”

“Some fans consider Sonia to be a clone of Amy Rose, minus the attraction Amy feels for Sonic.” YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

“Manic is the most often captured of the siblings” himbo king 

Knuckles shows up, and for the first, like, two sentences his description is very similar to the game, and then you get immediately pulverized by “He has a pet Dinosaur called Chomps.”

Literally so many sentences on Sonic Wiki are lowkey salty about this show. The page features lines such as “Sonic Underground bears little relation to the often complex Sonic universe (including previous animated series, as well as Sonic comics and games), and shares only three established characters” and “many of the characters in the Freedom Fighter group that were in Sonic the Hedgehog are completely left out (including Tails).”

“The show met with mostly negative reviews.”

*checks air dates* It only lasted two goddamn months

So after seeing this we thought it was the funniest thing and we showed our older sister, @patema-introverted​ “North.” To our surprise, our at the time “knew nothing about this sonic bullshit” sister recognized the show. Turns out she’d seen trailers for it as a child and that was her sole exposure to Sonic canon. 

We were in quarantine at the time, so we ended up finding it on YouTube and binge-watching it all together as a sibling bonding activity. It was just as hilarious as we thought it would be- some stuff was legitimately good, like the sibling dialogue for instance, but good lord were the character designs ugly, the plot all over the place, and pretty much every song, um, not great. Also there was one episode that we skipped because it got, um, I think “stereotypical” is the nicest word I can use here. 

But the point is, we had a jolly good time watching it, and afterwards we binged all the other Sonic shows and bonded as a family. 

After quarantine, North and I go back to college. My roommate gets groceries at Walmart, while I get them elsewhere, so while she and North collect food I wander the DVD aisle to look at the cool movies and also dumpster-dive in the bargain bin for Cats (2019). I am also short as fuck, so the top shelf of movies I cannot see, I can only read the labels. 

So one day I was browsing the DVDs, and glancing over at the labels for the top shelf. I read over the final one before the shelves end. 

And then I stop, do a double take, and have a heart attack, because there is a label that reads “SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74″

I immediately climb the shelf but there aren’t any DVDs atop the shelf. However, the label is still there. I excitedly tell my sister and roommates, freak out with them a bit, and then give myself a mission statement:

I will buy the $4 Sonic Underground DVD from Walmart

I did not want it as a gift, I did not want to find it online. I wanted to walk into a store, pick up the Worst Sonic Show on DVD, walk it straight to the checkout, and in front of the cashier and God, pay for it with my own money. I did not care if it was the whole series or two episodes; I needed to do this for my own serotonin.

We would go to Walmart about once a week. Every time, I would go to the DVD aisle, and go right to the end of the shelves. I would stare at the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74 and empty space above it and wonder who the fuck was buying this other than me. I would occasionally ask employees if they had any copies in storage. I would build a shrine to Manic in my room. Okay, no I didn’t, but only because my RA would have murdered me. 

Christmas break comes, and we have to go home. We have a nice Christmas, and Cori and I infodump at each other about how we would make Sonic Underground a good show (note: we’re both galaxy braining) and also play Bendy and the Ink Machine. Fun times. 

When we finally get back to College, it’s late January- long story short we have a very long winter break. My roommate who gets food at Walmart got food without us the first week cause she showed up first, so we take her out to Walmart the first time in the year of our lord 2021 on January 29. 

I wander the Valentine’s aisle, immediately grabbing a sequin puppy. I go to the DVDs and see Animaniacs Season One, also grab that. 

And then.

There it is.

The Holy Grail. 

Above the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74, is one DVD left. 

Already I am losing my mind. It’s roughly seven hours of episodes- I couldn’t find an episode list, but I think that’s half the show, for $4! And the cover is amazing. 

That’s a png of Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) with a medallion badly photoshopped over it. The medallion is too small. 

Manic is shoved into the corner. He doesn’t have his medallion at all. 

Sonia isn’t even pictured on the front cover, probably because they realized she was the worst designed of the bunch. I’m not ragging on her though, because she’s still one of the better designed characters of the show. Those background characters make me cry 

So you bet your ass I finally paid my hard-earned $4 for this shit. Upon getting home, I discovered that there was even wilder shit with this DVD than I thought. 

For starters: the bonus features listed are as follows:

Original Concept Art - did not expect that these character designs were the final draft

Storyboard-to-screen - did not expect they bothered to storyboard this 

Music Video Jukebox - that’s cute, they thought we liked the music 

Interviews with original screenwriter & executive producer - I fully expect the only questions to be “why.” 

On the left of this list are screenshots from the show, where people can finally see Sonia, who we Know™ is a girl because she is pink and has hair and also an actual body shape instead of just circles like her brothers. 

But wait... what’s that in the lefthand corner? 

That looks like some kind of robot. But it’s not a robot from Sonic Underground! That didn’t appear once. Why is it here? 

The mystery continues upon opening the DVD case: inside are advertisements for other collections, including other Sonic DVDs: two volumes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and the final episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog “SatAM” (1993)

First of all, the first volume of AOSTH has the exact same PNG of Sonic as the Underground Volume 1. Not even trying to hide it. But second... the second volume of AOSTH also has this robot on its cover. 

And THIS ROBOT IS ALSO DECORATING THE THIRD DISC IN THE SET?

So you may be asking, who is this robot? Is it from AOSTH or Underground?

IT’S FROM FUCKING SATAM. The one show that doesn’t have it decorating the DVD covers.

Also, not only is it from SatAM, it only appears in one fucking episode. Not a major character! AND IT HAS A DIFFERENT DESIGN ON THE PROMO ART, WITH HAIR AND FANGS.

Why is it showing up everywhere? What is going on? 

I have not yet had the opportunity to watch this glorious piece of animation, but I am so glad at the confusion I have felt upon receiving it. 

But before I go, I must share with you the best part of this DVD purchase. And it was flipping to the back, scanning the details, and discovering the exact runtime of the episode collection. 

Guys, gals, and enby pals, friends and enemies, Nintendo and Sega, the first Volume of Sonic Underground has a runtime of...

420 MINUTES.

Maybe I’m wrong and this IS the best Sonic show. 

[theanarchistscookbook]

18 Reasons I Won’t Be Getting a Covid Vaccine.. Umm – I mean Jab

ON JUNE 14, 2021 BY GERI UNGUREAN

This article was sent to me by a Christian sister. Thank you, Michelle!

Much love to you in Jesus.

A few friends have asked my thoughts on the covid jab(s) so I thought it was time to write an article on the topic.

All my friends had not heard most of the details I shared, so I figured you might appreciate hearing some of what I told them.

Knowing how contentious this issue is, part of me would rather just write about something else, but I feel like the discussion/news is so one-sided that I should speak up.

As I always strive to do, I promise to do my best to be level-headed and non-hysterical.

I’m not here to pick a fight with anyone, just to walk you through some of what I’ve read, my lingering questions, and explain why I can’t make sense of these covid vaccines.

THREE GROUND RULES FOR DISCUSSION

If you care to engage on this topic with me, excellent.

Here are the rules…

I am more than happy to correspond with you if…

You are respectful and treat me the way you would want to be treated.

You ask genuinely thoughtful questions about what makes sense to you.

You make your points using sound logic and don’t hide behind links or the word “science.”

If you do respond, and you break any of those rules, your comments will be ignored/deleted.

With that out of the way, let me say this…

I don’t know everything, but so far no one has been able to answer the objections below.

So here are the reasons I’m opting out of the covid vaccine.

#1: VACCINE MAKERS ARE IMMUNE FROM LIABILITY

The only industry in the world that bears no liability for injuries or deaths resulting from their products, are vaccine makers.

First established in 1986 with the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act, and reinforced by the PREP Act, vaccine makers cannot be sued, even if they are shown to be negligent.

The covid-vaccine makers are allowed to create a one-size-fits-all product, with no testing on sub-populations (i.e. people with specific health conditions), and yet they are unwilling to accept any responsibility for any adverse events or deaths their products cause.

If a company is not willing to stand behind their product as safe, especially one they rushed to market and skipped animal trials on, I am not willing to take a chance on their product.

No liability. No trust.

Here’s why…

#2: THE CHECKERED PAST OF THE VACCINE COMPANIES

The four major companies who are making these covid vaccines are/have either:

Never brought a vaccine to market before covid (Moderna and Johnson & Johnson).

Are serial felons (Pfizer, and Astra Zeneca).

Are both (Johnson & Johnson).

Moderna had been trying to “Modernize our RNA” (thus the company name)–for years, but had never successfully brought ANY product to market–how nice for them to get a major cash infusion from the government to keep trying.

In fact, all major vaccine makers (save Moderna) have paid out tens of billions of dollars in damages for other products they brought to market when they knew those products would cause injuries and death–see Vioxx, Bextra, Celebrex, Thalidomide, and Opioids as a few examples.

If drug companies willfully choose to put harmful products in the market, when they can be sued, why would we trust any product where they have NO liability?

In case it hasn’t sunk in, let me reiterate…3 of the 4 covid vaccine makers have been sued for products they brought to market even though they knew injuries and deaths would result.

Johnson & Johnson has lost major lawsuits in 1995, 1996, 2001, 2010, 2011, 2016, 2019 (For what it’s worth, J&J’s vaccine also contains tissues from aborted fetal cells, perhaps a topic for another discussion)

Pfizer has the distinction of the biggest criminal payout in history. They have lost so many lawsuits it’s hard to count. You can check out their rap sheet here. Maybe that’s why they are demanding that countries where they don’t have liability protection put up collateral to cover vaccine-injury lawsuits.

Astra Zeneca has similarly lost so many lawsuits it’s hard to count. Here’s one. Here’s another…you get the point. And in case you missed it, the company had their covid vaccine suspended in at least 18 countries over concerns of blood clots, and they completely botched their meeting with the FDA with numbers from their study that didn’t match.

Oh, and apparently J&J (whose vaccine is approved for “Emergency Use” in the US) and Astrazenca (whose vaccine is not approved for “Emergency Use” in the US), had a little mix up in their ingredients…in 15 million doses. Oops.

Let me reiterate this point:

Given the free pass from liability, and the checkered past of these companies, why would we assume that all their vaccines are safe and made completely above board?

Where else in life would we trust someone with that kind of reputation?

To me that makes as much sense as expecting a remorseless, abusive, unfaithful lover to become a different person because a judge said deep down they are a good person.

No. I don’t trust them.

No liability. No trust.

Here’s another reason why I don’t trust them.

#3: THE UGLY HISTORY OF ATTEMPTS TO MAKE CORONAVIRUS VACCINES

There have been many attempts to make viral vaccines in the past that ended in utter failure, which is why we did not have a coronavirus vaccine in 2020.

In the 1960’s, scientists attempted to make an RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) vaccine for infants.

In that study, they skipped animal trials because they weren’t necessary back then.

In the end, the vaccinated infants got much sicker than the unvaccinated infants when exposed to the virus in nature, with 80% of the vaccinated infants requiring hospitalization, and two of them died.

After 2000, scientists made many attempts to create coronavirus vaccines.

For the past 20 years, all ended in failure because the animals in the clinical trials got very sick and many died, just like the children in the 1960’s.

You can read a summary of this history/science here.

Or if you want to read the individual studies you can check out these links:

In 2004 attempted vaccine produced hepatitis in ferrets

In 2005 mice and civets became sick and more susceptible to coronaviruses after being vaccinated

In 2012 the ferrets became sick and died. And in this study mice and ferrets developed lung disease.

In 2016 this study also produce lung disease in mice.

The typical pattern in the studies mentioned above is that the children and the animals produced beautiful antibody responses after being vaccinated.

The manufacturers thought they hit the jackpot.

The problem came when the children and animals were exposed to the wild version of the virus.

When that happened, an unexplained phenomenon called Antibody Dependent Enhancement (ADE) also known as Vaccine Enhanced Disease (VED) occurred where the immune system produced a “cytokine storm” (i.e. overwhelmingly attacked the body), and the children/animals died.

Here’s the lingering issue…

The vaccine makers have no data to suggest their rushed vaccines have overcome that problem.

In other words, never before has any attempt to make a coronavirus vaccine been successful, nor has the gene-therapy technology that is mRNA “vaccines” been safely brought to market, but hey, since they had billions of dollars in government funding, I’m sure they figured that out.

Except they don’t know if they have…

#4: THE “DATA GAPS” SUBMITTED TO THE FDA BY THE VACCINE MAKERS

When vaccine makers submitted their papers to the FDA for the Emergency Use Authorization (Note: An EUA is not the same as a full FDA approval), among the many “Data Gaps” they reported was that they have nothing in their trials to suggest they overcame that pesky problem of Vaccine Enhanced Disease.

They simply don’t know–i.e. they have no idea if the vaccines they’ve made will also produce the same cytokine storm (and deaths) as previous attempts at such products.

As Joseph Mercola points out…

“Previous attempts to develop an mRNA-based drug using lipid nanoparticles failed and had to be abandoned because when the dose was too low, the drug had no effect, and when dosed too high, the drug became too toxic. An obvious question is: What has changed that now makes this technology safe enough for mass use?”

If that’s not alarming enough, here are other gaps in the data–i.e. there is no data to suggest safety or efficacy regarding:

Anyone younger than age 18 or older than age 55

Pregnant or lactating mothers

Auto-immune conditions

Immunocompromised individuals

No data on transmission of covid

No data on preventing mortality from covid

No data on duration of protection from covid

Hard to believe right?

In case you think I’m making this up, or want to see the actual documents sent to the FDA by Pfizer and Moderna for their Emergency Use Authorization, you can check out this, or this respectively. The data gaps can be found starting with page 46 and 48 respectively.

For now let’s turn our eyes to the raw data the vaccine makers used to submit for emergency use authorization.

#5: NO ACCESS TO THE RAW DATA FROM THE TRIALS

Would you like to see the raw data that produced the “90% and 95% effective” claims touted in the news?

Me too…

But they won’t let us see that data.

As pointed out in the BMJ, something about the Pfizer and Moderna efficacy claims smells really funny.

There were “3,410 total cases of suspected, but unconfirmed covid-19 in the overall study population, 1,594 occurred in the vaccine group vs. 1,816 in the placebo group.”

Wait…what?

Did they fail to do science in their scientific study by not verifying a major variable?

Could they not test those “suspected but unconfirmed” cases to find out if they had covid?

Apparently not.

Why not test all 3,410 participants for the sake of accuracy?

Can we only guess they didn’t test because it would mess up their “90-95% effective” claims?

Where’s the FDA?

Would it not be prudent for the FDA, to expect (demand) that the vaccine makers test people who have “covid-like symptoms,” and release their raw data so outside, third-parties could examine how the manufacturers justified the numbers?

I mean it’s only every citizen of the world we’re trying to get to take these experimental products…

Why did the FDA not require that? Isn’t that the entire purpose of the FDA anyway?

Good question.

Foxes guarding the hen house?

Seems like it.

No liability. No trust.

#6: NO LONG-TERM SAFETY TESTING

Obviously, with products that have only been on the market a few months, we have no long-term safety data.

In other words, we have no idea what this product will do in the body months or years from now–for ANY population.

Given all the risks above (risks that ALL pharmaceutical products have), would it not be prudent to wait to see if the worst-case scenarios have indeed been avoided?

Would it not make sense to want to fill those pesky “data gaps” before we try to give this to every man, woman, and child on the planet?

Well…that would make sense, but to have that data, they need to test it on people, which leads me to my next point…

#7: NO INFORMED CONSENT

What most who are taking the vaccine don’t know is that because these products are still in clinical trials, anyone who gets the shot is now part of the clinical trial.

They are part of the experiment.

Those (like me) who do not take it, are part of the control group.

Time will tell how this experiment works out.

But, you may be asking, if the vaccines are causing harm, wouldn’t we be seeing that all over the news?

Surely the FDA would step in and pause the distribution?

Well, if the adverse events reporting system was working, maybe things would be different.

#8: UNDER-REPORTING OF ADVERSE REACTIONS AND DEATH

According to a study done by Harvard (at the commission of our own government), less than 1% of all adverse reactions to vaccines are actually submitted to the National Vaccine Adverse Events Reports System (VAERS) – read page 6 at the link above.

While the problems with VAERS have not been fixed (as you can read about in this letter to the CDC), at the time of this writing VAERS reports over 2,200 deaths from the current covid vaccines, as well as close to 60,000 adverse reactions.

“VAERS data released today showed 50,861 reports of adverse events following COVID vaccines, including 2,249 deaths and 7,726 serious injuries between Dec. 14, 2020 and March 26, 2021.”

And those numbers don’t include (what is currently) 578 cases of Bell’s Palsy.

If those numbers are still only 1% of the total adverse reactions (or .8 to 2% of what this study published recently in the JAMA found), you can do the math, but that equates to somewhere around 110,00 to 220,000 deaths from the vaccines to date, and a ridiculous number of adverse reactions.

Bet you didn’t see that on the news.

That death number would currently still be lower than the 424,000 deaths from medical errors that happen every year (which you probably also don’t hear about), but we are not even six months into the rollout of these vaccines yet.

If you want a deeper dive into the problems with the VAERS reporting system, you can check this out, or check this out.

But then there’s my next point, which could be argued makes these covid vaccines seem pointless…

#9: THE VACCINES DO NOT STOP TRANSMISSION OR INFECTION

Wait, what?

Aren’t these vaccines supposed to be what we’ve been waiting for to “go back to normal”?

Nope.

Why do you think we’re getting all these conflicting messages about needing to practice social distancing and wear masks AFTER we get a vaccine?

The reason is because these vaccines were never designed to stop transmission OR infection.

If you don’t believe me, I refer you again to the papers submitted to the FDA I linked to above.

The primary endpoint (what the vaccines are meant to accomplish) is to lower your symptoms.

Sounds like just about every other drug on the market right?

That’s it…lowering your symptoms is the big payoff we’ve been waiting for.

Does that seem completely pointless to anyone but me?

It can’t stop us from spreading the virus.

It can’t stop the virus from infecting us once we have it.

To get the vaccine is to accept all the risk of these experimental products and the best it might do is lower symptoms?

Heck, there are plenty of other things I can do to lower my symptoms that don’t involve taking what appears to be a really risky product.

Now for the next logical question:

If we’re worried about asymptomatic spreaders, would the vaccine not make it more likely that we are creating asymptomatic spread?

If it indeed reduces symptoms, anyone who gets it might not even know they are sick and thus they are more likely to spread the virus, right?

For what it’s worth, I’ve heard many people say the side effects of the vaccine (especially the second dose) are worse than catching covid.

I can’t make sense of that either.

Take the risk.

Get no protection.

Suffer through the vaccine side-effects.

Keep wearing your mask and social distancing…

And continue to be able to spread the virus.

What?

It gets worse.

#10: PEOPLE ARE CATCHING COVID AFTER BEING FULLY VACCINATED

Talk about a bummer.

You get vaccinated and you still catch covid.

It’s happening in Washington State

It’s happening in New York

It’s happening in Michigan

It’s happening in Hawaii

It’s happening in several other states too.

It happened to 80% of 35 nuns who got the vaccine in Kentucky. Two of them died by the way.

In reality, this phenomenon is probably happening everywhere, but those are the ones making the news now.

Given the reasons above (and what’s below), maybe this doesn’t surprise you, but bummer if you thought the vaccine was a shield to keep you safe.

It’s not.

That was never the point.

If 66% of healthcare workers in L.A. are going to delay or skip the vaccine…maybe they aren’t wowed by the rushed science either.

Maybe they are watching the shady way deaths and cases are being reported…

#11: THE OVERALL DEATH RATE FROM COVID

According to the CDC’s own numbers, covid has a 99.74% survival rate.

Why would I take a risk on a product, that doesn’t stop infection or transmission, to help me overcome a cold that has a .26% chance of killing me–actually in my age range is has about a .1% chance of killing me (and .01% chance of killing my kids), but let’s not split hairs here.

With a bar (death rate) that low, we will be in lockdown every year…i.e. forever.

But wait, what about the 500,000 plus deaths, that’s alarming right?

I’m glad you asked.

#12: THE BLOATED COVID DEATH NUMBERS

Something smells really funny about this one.

Never before in the history of death certificates has our own government changed how deaths are reported.

Why now, are we reporting everyone who dies with covid in their body, as having died ofcovid, rather than the co-morbidities that actually took their life?

Until covid, all coronaviruses (common colds) were never listed as the primary cause of death when someone died of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, auto-immune conditions, or any other major co-morbidity.

The disease was listed as the cause of death, and a confounding factor like flu or pneumonia was listed on a separate line.

To bloat the number even more, both the W.H.O. and the C.D.C. changed their guidelines such that those who are suspected or probable (but were never confirmed) of having died of covid, are also included in the death numbers.

Seriously?

If we are going to do that then should we not go back and change the numbers of all past cold and flu seasons so we can compare apples to apples when it comes to death rates?

According to the CDCs own numbers, (scroll down to the section “Comorbidities and other conditions”) only 6% of the deaths being attributed to covid are instances where covid seems to be the only issue at hand.

In other words, reduce the death numbers you see on the news by 94% and you have what is likely the real numbers of deaths from just covid.

Even if the former CDC director is correct and covid-19 was a lab-enhanced virus (see Reason #14 below), a .26% death rate is still in line with the viral death rate that circles the planet ever year.

Then there’s this Fauci guy.

I’d really love to trust him, but besides the fact that he hasn’t treated one covid patient…you should probably know…

#13: FAUCI AND SIX OTHERS AT NIAID OWN PATENTS IN THE MODERNA VACCINE

Thanks to the Bayh-Dole Act, government workers are allowed to file patents on any research they do using tax payer funding.

Tony Fauci owns over 1,000 patents (see this video for more details), including patents being used on the Moderna vaccine…which he approved government funding for.

In fact, the NIH (which NIAID is part of) claims joint ownership of Moderna’s vaccine.

Does anyone else see this as a MAJOR conflict of interest, or criminal even?

I say criminal because there’s also this pesky problem that makes me even more distrustful of Fauci, NIAD, and the NIH in general.

#14: FAUCI IS ON THE HOT SEAT FOR ILLEGAL GAIN-OF-FUNCTION RESEARCH

What is “Gain-of-Function” research?

It’s where scientists attempt to make viruses gain functions–i.e. make them more transmissible and deadlier.

Sounds at least a touch unethical, right?

How could that possibly be helpful?

Our government agreed, and banned the practice.

So what did the Fauci-led NIAID do?

They pivoted and outsourced the gain-of-function research (in coronaviruses no less) to China–to the tune of a $600K grant.

You can see more details, including the important timeline of these events in this fantastically well-researched documentary.

Mr. Fauci, you have some explaining to do…and I hope the cameras are recording when you have to defend your actions.

For now, let’s turn our attention back to the virus…

#15: THE VIRUS CONTINUES TO MUTATE

Not only does the virus (like all viruses) continue to mutate, but according to world-renowned vaccine developer Geert Vanden Bossche (who you’ll meet below if you don’t know him) it’s mutating about every 10 hours.

How in the world are we going to keep creating vaccines to keep up with that level of mutation?

We’re not. 

Might that also explain why fully vaccinated people are continuing to catch covid?

Why, given that natural immunity has never ultimately failed humanity, do we suddenly not trust it?

Why, if I ask questions like the above, or post links like what you find above, will my thoughts be deleted from all major social media platforms?

That brings me to the next troubling problem I have with these vaccines.

#16: CENSORSHIP…AND THE COMPLETE ABSENCE OF SCIENTIFIC DEBATE

I can’t help but get snarky here, so humor me.

How did you enjoy all those nationally and globally-televised, robust debates put on by public health officials, and broadcast simultaneously on every major news station?

Wasn’t it great hearing from the best minds in medicine, virology, epidemiology, economics, and vaccinology from all over the world as they vigorously and respectfully debated things like:

Lockdowns

Mask wearing

Social-distancing

Vaccine efficacy and safety trials

How to screen for susceptibility to vaccine injury

Therapeutics, (i.e. non-vaccine treatment options)

Wasn’t it great seeing public health officials (who never treated anyone with covid) have their “science” questioned.

Wasn’t it great seeing the FDA panel publicly grill the vaccine makers in prime time as they stood in the hot-seat of tough questions about products of which they have no liability?

Oh, wait…you didn’t see those debates?

No, you didn’t…because they never happened.

What happened instead was heavy-handed censorship of all but one narrative.

Ironically, Mark Zuckerberg can question vaccine safety, but I can’t?

Hypocrite?

When did the first amendment become a suggestion? 

It’s the FIRST amendment Mark–the one our founders thought was most important.

With so much at stake, why are we fed only one narrative…shouldn’t many perspectives be heard and professionally debated?

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO SCIENCE?

What has happened to the scientific method of always challenging our assumptions?

What happened to lively debate in this country, or at least in Western society?

Why did anyone who disagrees with the WHO, or the CDC get censored so heavily?

Is the science of public health a religion now, or is science supposed to be about debate?

If someone says “the science is settled” that’s how I know I’m dealing with someone who is closed minded.

By definition science (especially biological science) is never settled.

If it was, it would be dogma, not science.

OK, before I get too worked up, let me say this…

I WANT TO BE A GOOD CITIZEN

I really do.

If lockdowns work, I want to do my part and stay home.

If masks work, I want to wear them.

If social distancing is effective, I want to comply.

But, if there is evidence they don’t (masks for example), I want to hear that evidence too.

If highly-credentialed scientists have different opinions, I want to know what they think.

I want a chance to hear their arguments and make up my own mind.

I don’t think I’m the smartest person in the world, but I think I can think.

Maybe I’m weird, but if someone is censored, then I REALLY want to hear what they think.

Don’t you?

To all my friends who don’t have a problem with censorship, will you have the same opinion when what you think is censored?

Is censorship not the technique of dictators, tyrants, and greedy, power-hungry people?

Is it not a sign that those who are doing the censoring know it’s the only way they can win?

What if a man who spent his entire life developing vaccines was willing to put his entire reputation on the line and call on all global leaders to immediately stop the covid vaccines because of problems with the science?

What if he pleaded for an open-scientific debate on a global stage?

Would you want to hear what he has to say?

Would you want to see the debate he’s asking for?

#17: THE WORLD’S LEADING VACCINOLOGIST IS SOUNDING THE ALARM…

Here is what may be the biggest reason this covid vaccine doesn’t make sense to me.

When someone who is very pro-vaccine, who has spent his entire professional career overseeing the development of vaccines, is shouting from the mountaintops that we have a major problem, I think the man should be heard.

In case you missed it, and in case you care to watch it, here is Geert Vanden Bossche, explaining:

Why the covid vaccine may be putting so much pressure on the virus that we are accelerating it’s ability to mutate and become more deadly.

Why the covid vaccines may be creating vaccine-resistant viruses (similar to anti-biotic resistant bacteria).

Why, because of previous problems with Antibody Dependent Enhancement, we may be looking at a mass casualty event in the next few months/years.

If you want to see/read about a second, and longer, interview with Vanden Bossche, where he was asked some tough questions, you can check this out.

If half of what he says comes true, these vaccines could be the worst invention of all time.

If you don’t like his science, take it up with him.

I’m just the messenger.

But I can also speak to covid personally.

#18: I ALREADY HAD COVID

I didn’t enjoy it.

It was a nasty cold for two days:

Unrelenting butt/low-back aches

Very low energy.

Low-grade fever.

It was weird not being able to smell anything for a couple days.

A week later, coffee still tasted a little “off.”

But I survived.

Now it appears (as it always has) that I have beautiful, natural, life-long immunity…

…not something likely to wear off in a few months if I get the vaccine.

In my body, and my household, covid is over.

In fact, now that I’ve had it, there is evidence the covid vaccine might actually be more dangerous for me. 

That is not a risk I’m willing to take.

IN SUMMARY

The above are just my reasons for not wanting the vaccine.

Maybe my reasons make sense to you, maybe they don’t.

Whatever does makes sense to you, hopefully we can still be friends.

I for one think there’s a lot more that we have in common than what separates us.

We all want to live in a world of freedom.

We all want to do our part to help others and to live well.

We all want the right to express our opinions without fearing we’ll be censored or viciously attacked.

We all deserve to have the access to the facts so we can make informed decisions.

Agree or disagree with me; I’ll treat you no differently.

You’re a human just as worthy of love and respect as anyone else.

For that I salute you, and I truly wish you all the best.

I hope you found this helpful.

If so, feel free to share.

If not, feel free to (kindly) let me know what didn’t make sense to you and I’d be happy to hear your thoughts too.

Stay curious and stay humble.

PS. If you think I studied this topic well, think about how much thought I would put into helping you with your health. Helping people with their health is what I do all day, every day.

PPS. Health can’t be injected, but it can be earned.

[sweetsunflowerkisses]

rest.

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff (MCU) x Fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU

Warnings: Mild language, cannon divergence, reader is kind of an oblivious shy dumb-ass who avoids her problems TvT

Summary: After everything life has put you through you just want to walk through life unnoticed and unbothered, but that seems to be out of the question when you're an enhanced working for the avengers and catch the eye of a certain speedster who just so happens to be your soulmate.

Word Count: 3.1k

a/n: this is very shitty and doesn’t make much sense im sorry i haven’t written something like this in so long :’) 

Sokovia. 2015.

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better.” Fury said punching buttons on his data pad, “Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do.” Fury laughed, looking over at the small but capable team of Ex-SHIELD agents, smiling, as the old helicarrier pulled up beside the ever rising city.

You looked out of the window as the battle raged on in the city, you still weren’t sure why Fury had asked you to come with him. After all, you didn’t exactly have a useful skill set for this fight, you couldn’t operate the fancy systems that kept the helicarrier in the air, and despite being enhanced you definitely didn’t have the fighting set to help out the avengers, who were fighting in the city, saving the planet from total destruction once again.

You sighed, turning your back to the window and going to stand next to Fury, who rarely let you out of his sight.

“Sir, I’m grateful you trusted me enough to bring me along but if I could ask, why did you bring me?, My skills aren't exactly useful here.” you said with a frown.

Fury looked down at you grimly, “Just a feeling Mrs. [L/N].”

You nodded, turning your attention to your colleagues, who were diligently aiding in the rescue of the sokovian citizens, and the battle raging on outside. You watched in awe as Tony Stark- or rather Iron Man and War Machine began to destroy the bots that had begun to attack the helicarrier.

Suddenly Agent Hill’s voice rang out “INCOMING!”. You barely had time to jump out of the way as a robot crashed through the front window, Maria immediately emptying her clip into it as Fury finished it off with a piece of metal debris.

“And here I was thinking I wasn’t going to see any action”, you quipped, staring at the mess of metal and oil on the helicarrier floor.

You sighed, trying to even your breathing, absentmindedly running your fingers over the inky black words imprinted on the inside of your wrist. In this world everyone had a soulmate, all 7 billion people, and the first words they’ll say to you appear on the inside of your left wrist when your born, which turns red after you have your first kiss with your soulmate, however you don’t have any expectations to ever meet yours, and you don’t really want too, after all life moves pretty fast when your an Ex-HYDRA experiment and an Ex-SHIELD trainee, and these days you really just wanted to spend the rest of your days unnoticed and unbothered - aside from work of course.

You were broken out of your thoughts when a voice crackled over the comms, “Guys we have a problem!” It was Agent Barton, his voice was panicked and his breathing was ragged, “Pietro’s been hit, I can’t tell if he’s alive or not.”

Fury looked over at you, his face as stoic as ever, but you could see the slight bit of fear in his eyes “Showtime kid, let’s see what you can do.”

You nodded, taking off down the hall and jumping into a small craft, piloting it to the city where you could see Barton leaning over someone’s body. You landed, running over to them, it was one of the twins, a fellow enhanced experiment of HYDRA. You leaned down placing a hand on his bullet riddled chest, a small teal light eminitated from your hand as you closed your eyes and concentrated.

Suddenly your eyes snapped open, you looked up at Clint, “He’s alive,” Clint let out a sigh of relief. “but just barely, I  need to get him back to the medical bay immediately.” You finished. Clint nodded, helping you get the man loaded on the craft you arrived in, he gave you a small nod of thanks before running back to the rescue transports.

Back in your lab you had him hooked up to nearly every medical machine available, while your abilities had managed to stop the blood and heal the internal damage there was still the possibility of him not making it through the night, after all he had yet to regain consciousness and enhanced powers could only do so much, bringing back the dead wasn’t really one of those.

You sighed, leaning over his resting form, brushing a stray piece of his bleach blonde hair out of his face. You studied his face, he was quite possibly one of the most handsome people you’d ever seen, and that was even with the blood and dirt caked on him.

You turned gathering a cloth and a bowl of water, deciding it would be best to at least clean what grime you could off of him. You started with his face before moving to his chest, it was still caked in blood and dirt from where the bullets had ripped through him, though the wounds were closed and healed now. You took note of how well built he was but tried to focus on that as little as possible, after all he was your patient and you hadn’t ever even spoken to him.

As you ran the wet cloth over his body your mind began to wander, however you were broken out of your thoughts when a hand grabbed your arm. It was Pietro. You let out a squeak, mildly startled by his sudden consciousness, however it was clear that he was extremely disoriented and out of it. You moved, setting the washcloth and bowl back on the counter before gathering your clipboard to write that he had regained consciousness.

“Are you an angel?” He asked weakly, you turned looking at him, shocked. Those words, the ever familiar words that had been carried with you since birth, it was him. You inhaled, pushing all that aside, shaking your head as you approached his side.

“Rest.” Was all you said, before you walked out of the room, and for the rest of the night Pietro faded in and out of consciousness, only holding on to the fading sound of your voice.

Avengers Tower. One Month Later.

It had been a month since Sokovia. One month since Pietro Maximoff had almost died. He often found himself wondering what would have happened if he had died, would Wanda have been okay? Would anyone have cared? The other question that seemed to plague his mind day and night, the thought that had burrowed it’s way into his dreams and his absent minded musings, was the thought of seeing that girl that had saved him again.

He didn’t remember much about that day after he was shot, but everytime he closed his eyes he could see her, the girl with the (y/h/c) hair and the soothing voice, he couldn’t remember her fcae or if he had said anything to her but he could remember her touch and he craved to feel it again. The word “rest” also filled his mind, the way it sounded rolling off her tongue, it was the same word that had kept him grounded over the years, and the word that he so often traced on the inside of his wrist. He found himself feeling like the prince from that old animated mermaid movie Wanda made him watch as a kid, looking for the girl that saved him. Looking for his soulmate.

He broke himself out of his thoughts when he heard Maria Hill, one of the many people that had eagerly welcomed him to the Avengers and the remnants of SHIELD calling his name.

“Agent Hill, what can I do for you?” He asked, lifting himself off of the couch, turning to face her.

“Are you doing anything around 1:30 today? I’m supposed to be giving a tour to our newest Avenger today but I have a prior obligation around that time and was wondering if you would mind running it instead, normally I would ask someone else but I feel that you would be the best option in this case due to your…” Maria trailed off trying to come up with the word “Commonalities.”

Pietro’s ears perked up, a new member? Commonalities? Needless to say it was intriguing and would definitely provide a good distraction from his thoughts. “Okay.” He said, shrugging.

Maria smiled, handing him the manilla folder that was your file. “Her name is [Y/N] [L/N], she’s talented, all the necessary information should be in there.” Maria sighed inwardly as she clasped her hands behind her as she watched Pietro speed read through the folder.

To be honest, though she’d never tell Fury, she was hesitant to let you join the Avengers. You were talented no doubt, but she worried about you, maybe it was the fact that she had been the one to rescue you all those years ago, before the fall of SHIELD, before she ever worked for Stark, but still something told her maybe it was too soon, after all you had seemed pretty shaken after the Ultron ordeal.

“Well, you’ll need to meet her at the west elevator on floor 34 in an hour. Just take her through the itinerary there and get to know her, make her feel welcome.” Maria said with a smile before leaving back the way she came.

Pietro smiled as he waved goodbye, before looking down at the picture of you, of his soulmate, the girl that saved him.

Avengers Tower Floor 34. One Hour Later.

You rocked back and forth on your heels. It had been a month since Sokovia. One month since you had saved the man who was supposedly your soulmate. After that fateful day you went back into hiding with Fury, back to training with Fury, but now, according to Fury at least, it was time for you to join the Avengers as their medic.

You walked down the long glass hall, Agent Hill had told you that your guide would meet you outside the west elevator. She had also told you that your tour guide was one of the twins, due to your “commonalities” both in being enhanced and in being the newest members. You hoped it wasn’t going to be him, after all you still hadn’t really had time to process it all. Of course, life never really listened when you asked it for things.

The elevator dinged, signaling it’s arrival, you turned your attention from your wrist to the elevator,pulling down your sleeve to cover it as the doors slid open to reveal the gray clad speedster.

“They told me we were getting a new recruit, but they failed to tell me of your beauty.” Pietro smirked leaning against the elevator wall. You blushed, looking down at your shoes before sliding past him and stepping into the elevator. “Not talking huh? It’s okay I'll get you to crack eventually.” He smiled, winking at you only causing your face to flush even more.

As the tour went on Pietro did what he could to make you talk, though you usually only answered with one or two words. He was confused to say the least, did you not know? It was as the tour came to a close that he finally asked you the question that had been plaguing his mind the whole time, wondering if you would admit to him that you knew or if you were just clueless. “So, [Y/N], they tell me you are enhanced, like us, with healing abilities.” You nodded, “Were you there in Sokovia? Last month I mean, when Ultron attacked.”

You looked up sharply. “Um yeah, yeah I was.” You sighed, fidgeting with your sleeves.

“Then you're the one who saved me that day, thank you.” He smiled, bringing your hands into his, “I’m very happy you’re with us, and I hope that you will allow me to thank you properly? Maybe dinner?” His eyes were hopeful.

Did he know? You wondered, would he bring it up then, ease into it, charm you? Or had he been too out of it to even realise and was simply trying to be nice? Either way it was too much too fast.  “Um, I’ll think about it, I’m just kinda tired right now.”

“I understand, I’ll see you in the morning then beautiful, yes?” He smiled walking you down the hall to your room. You nodded, before looking down at the floor again. “Well if you need anything Wanda and I are both on this floor and if we’re not here we’re likely on the common floor.” He smiled watching you nod once again before retreating into your room.

Pietro sighed, running a hand through his hair, you had to know by now, if he hadn’t spoken to you that day what he said on the elevator should have been the words on your wrist? Why were you so hesitant? Did you not like him, was he not everything you had ever hoped for in a soulmate? He let out a short breath as he pushed the button to call the elevator, fine, he was charming right? He’d do whatever it took to convince you that he was the perfect guy for you, after all you were an angel to him.

A Stark Party at Avenger Tower. Two Months Later.

It had been two months, two months since you had joined the Avengers and you were still just as shy around Pietro as you had been on your first day. He couldn’t understand it, while you were shy around most of the other members too, save for his own sister and Sam Wilson, yet you seemed to purposefully avoid him. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had done something to make you mad or uncomfortable, he couldn’t understand why but it hurt, it hurt more than getting shot in Sokovia had, it was raw and painful but he did his best to hide it and simply be as polite and nice to you as possible.

“Hey there speedy, you seem quieter than normal and I don’t think I’ve heard one smart remark out of you today, what’s going on?” Clint Barton said, placing his hand on Pietro’s shoulder. Despite Clint’s general teasing of the younger man he did genuinely care for him and that was something Pietro was grateful for.

“I’m just lost in thought, thank you though Clint.” Pietro sighed, taking his coffee and heading to his room, after all Stark was having one of his infamous parties tonight and even if he wasn’t there with you Pietro still wanted to look nice for you.

Nearly six hours later everyone was downstairs, the floor alive with people, and Pietro found himself seated at the bar, nursing a whiskey as he watched you converse with his twin. You looked amazing, your gorgeous body clad in a gray knee length cocktail dress with gorgeous lace sleeves and accents. Despite the fact that you rarely spoke to him somehow, some way every little thing you did imprinted itself in his brain and only made himself fall harder and harder for you.

His mood quickly changed however from adoration to jealousy as he watched a group of suit clad men isolate you from his sister and begin to speak to you. Under normal circumstances he would have simply let you be, never wanting to make you uncomfortable or angry, but you were picking at your nails, something he had noticed you only did when you were uncomfortable.

So he did what any love-sick gentlemen would do, and he went to rescue you. Within seconds Pietro was by your side, snaking a hand around your waist, secretly praying to god that he wasn’t making you more uncomfortable.You tensed at the contact but relaxed with a sigh of relief as you looked up to find Pietro.

“Hello my love,” Pietro smiled looking down at you before turning back to the group of men, “Hello gentlemen, I hope you don’t mind if I steal my soulmate for a minute, it’s important Avenger business, you know?” He smirked, giving them no room to respond as he turned and led you to the balcony.

When you arrived on the balcony you sighed as you let the cool air roll over you. “Thank you for that Pietro.” You said softly. “I’m really grateful.”

Pietro smiled softly, “Of course, what are friends for.” He turned heading for the door, but stopped when your voice rang out.

“I’m sorry Pietro.” He turned back to look at you, your eyes trained on the floor, “I’ve been cold and distant and all you’ve done is try and be nice and make me feel happy and safe and welcome here and I’m just so sorry.”

Pietro sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’ve known this whole time haven’t you. That we were soulmates.”

You looked up meeting his eyes, they were blue and piercing and oh so gorgeous but they were filled with pain.

“Yes, I’ve known since Sokovia. When you first regained consciousness you asked if I was an angel, I couldn’t focus on the fact that we were soulmates in that moment so I pushed it away, after that I just began to wonder, I mean I’m so different compared to you, you're so handsome and kind and talented and I’m just plain and boring, I figured that the universe probably made a mistake, and that you would be better of with someone else, but I never meant to hurt you,” You looked up at him, his face filled with a mix of shock and pain “I’m so so sorry.” You said, your voice breaking as you looked down, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“You are the most oblivious girl I’ve ever met.” Pietro chuckled, your head snapping up to look at him, “For one I’ve been flirting with you since you got here, you’d think that that would be a sign that I find you attractive, No?” You chuckled, “Second, Not talented? You saved my life, I was nearly dead and would be without you. Not kind? You have made my sister feel so happy and so welcome, you’ve given her the best friend she’s always wanted. Not pretty? My Angel, you are the most beautiful girl at this party. I’ve loved you from the minute I saw you, your smile can light up a room, and your laughter can make any sadness fade away, you my darling are perfect.” He smiled softly at you, cupping your cheek as you stared up into his eyes. “I love you moy angel”  

You stared up in awe at the silver haired speedster, “I- You’re so perfect, you have been so understanding and-” Your voice broke as more tears rushed down your face, Pietro simply whispered sweet nothings as he wiped away your tears. “I love you too.” You whispered smiling softly.

“Could I kiss you?” Pietro asked with an airy chuckle, you smiled,nodding before pressing your lips to his, letting the world around you melt away, as both of you reveled in the warm feeling of your marks changing from black to red.

[waaty]

back in 2020 i started keeping track of what things i finished (books, movies, games, etc.) so now i have two years worth! i thought i’d make a post on 2021 of stuff i did and enjoyed. :^) it was a pretty hard year for me so my numbers aren’t very impressive, but i still found a lot of stuff i enjoyed.

summary:

books: i read/listened to 4 books, 2 of which i read before. this is 4 more than i read in 2020.

comics: i read 7 different comics/manga (16 volumes total). in 2020 i also read 7 different comics (total of 27 volumes).

movies: i watched 9 movies, 4 of which i watched before. this is 7 less than i watched in 2020.

TV shows/shorts: i watched 8 shows/shorts, 4 of which i saw before. this is 4 less than i watched in 2020.

video games: i played/watched 4 video games (including 1 “extra scenario” type game). this is 3 less than played/watched in 2020 (including 2 “extra scenario” type games).

ten things i enjoyed (in no particular order) that i finished in 2021 under the cut! i posted basically the same thing on twitter as a heads up.

american psycho (movie) - probably my fav movie i saw in 2021! i watched it because of that stupid fortnite song but i’m really glad i did. i’m usually bad with horror stuff but this movie was surprisingly really funny? love how patrick bateman has huge feral catboy energy + the more psychological parts of the movie

the mitchells vs the machines (movie) - a very cute movie! the animation was fun and it felt like there was a lot of love and care put into it.

super mario 3D world (game) - i played this with my partner and it was probably the most fun i’ve had with a co-op game! it has a really gentle difficulty curve which is kinda nice tbh and the level designs are pretty good. just a solid platformer imo!

infinity train (show) - watched it all after it got cancelled. :( but it was fun! honestly the first season didn’t really grab me but it got better and better as it went on. i really enjoyed the world it built and the foreshadowing it alluded to so it’s a shame it ended!

evangelion 3.0+1.0 (movie) - god what a movie!! idk what to even say about it. i really enjoyed it as a whole. i’ve only seen it once so i probably gotta watch it a billion times like i did 3.0 but man, it just feels weird that rebuild is over since i’ve been into evangelion ever since 3.0 came out

deltarune chapter 2 (game) - even better than chapter 1 imo! i really enjoyed the character writing and everyone was super fun. this game kinda got me back into playing games again.

silent hill 2 (game) - ok technically i watched my partner play it but it counts!!! super scary (sometimes too scary) but i really enjoyed the more psychological aspects. theorizing about what represents what, and finding out what really happened to his wife… it’s heavy and really good.

dune (2021 movie) - i did read the book but i honestly enjoyed the movie more! maybe it was because i saw it in theaters (first and only movie theater i went to in 2021) but i felt like the pacing was improved. there were a few scenes i wish were adapted tbh but in general i enjoyed it as a whole!

showa: a history of japan (8 volume manga) - this manga was really cool! my fav parts were when it followed the mangaka, shigeru mizuki’s, life. i really enjoyed learning what everyday life in japan was like at this time in a (what seemed to me) surprisingly unbiased way. i can see why he’s such a legend in japan!

his dark materials (book) - technically 3 books but whatever! when i was a kid i read almost all of it but stopped a bit over halfway through the amber spyglass for some reason. i enjoyed it as a kid but i missed SO MUCH… i didn’t even catch that it was about religion honestly. either way, it was a lot of fun and i enjoyed the world and the suspense of wondering what will happen next. i’m also a sucker for multiple universes and angels and demons.

ok that’s it!!! i also tried to finish banana fish and smt5 this year too but that’ll have to be for next year.

[sailordiavolo]

suicide prevention month 2021 - things that helped me stay alive

i heard that this month is suicide prevention month in the united states. as someone who’s struggled for many years with suicide myself, and is currently in the mystical “better place”, i feel it’s my duty to open this can of worms. i am unafraid of the stigma that comes with discussing such things.

i’ll go over things that helped me to cope during dark times. these may also apply to being depressed in general (?) because no offense but “drinking water” doesn’t help as much as google seems to think it does. note that these aren’t be all end all solutions, more like techniques that helped me to stay sane on some of my worst days.

1. get rid of everything that’s an immediate danger to your health.

if you’re actively a danger to yourself, safety-proof your home. don’t keep sharp objects lying around, or anything dangerous of the like. get rid of anything toxic or chemical, and don’t keep medicines in excess.

2. if you can’t make yourself happy, try to mildly amuse yourself instead

thinking “happy thoughts” doesn’t really work for me, especially if i’m in the throes of a depressive episode. i do have many things that make me happy, but i seem to forget about all of them in dark times. that being said, really dumb jokes get me every time. if i can make myself laugh, smile or chuckle, i’ve already made it 10 times easier for myself. and if i can do that, usually it’s easy to make myself forget about the original reason i was upset in the first place.

dear reader, i don’t know what would count as “mildly amusing” to you, but here’s some things that work for me.

i have a self care playlist on youtube. mine’s pretty dumb, but making a playlist like that of things that you find entertaining or amusing might help. another amazing one is distantcry’s worst beat ever collection.

very specific songs that really get me going include metrostation’s shake it, botdf’s bewitched, rm’s expensive girl, and she past away’s ruh.

3. do some self care activities

self care is very very important. when you feel like you’re absolute worst, that’s a free pass to be as selfish as you need to be until you feel better. no job, no person, no drama is worth dying over. all of that can wait until after you’re finished what you’re doing. if you’re not really sure what to do as self care activities, i’ll list some suggestions.

take a hot bath, if possible. if you have the resources, add bubbles, flower petals, bathe salts or candles. i did this the other day and sat in the bath and ate crumpets. it was amazing. if not, have a steaming hot shower. (i know it’s hard to find the energy, but it’ll help, i promise)

watch your favourite childhood show, or your favourite show at the moment, or play a video game.

sleep all day, or take the day off.

eat your favourite food, or the best food available to you right now.

spend some money if you have it. personally, i never spend all my money in a week, i save some in case i have a panic attack or something so then i can spend money on something totally random to make myself feel better.

change up your appearance. i usually end up cutting my hair short or randomly dying it, but this can also mean dressing in a way that makes you feel good, painting your nails, or doing your makeup.

4. know how to comfort yourself

this is related to the last one but knowing what brings you comfort is very important. it took me a very long time to figure out what things i find comforting. list the things that you find comforting, and you can use those to help yourself feel better. it might be music, interests, even something abstract.

if you can’t think of anything, then make sure to pay attention to things that make you feel nice/comforted, and list them down. it’s also important to know what will send you over the edge, so you can avoid it.

5. distraction topics

this may help with anxiety as well, but having distraction topics can help you to calm down and forget about what you were worried about. it’s good to have a few distraction topics up your sleeve in case of emergency. i’ll list a few of my favourites, but if you ever need one don’t be afraid to ask me directly, or send me an ask on my blog! i have a ridiculous amount of misc knowledge just floating around.

dinosaur fossils of mothers protecting their nest have been found, meaning that dinosaurs probably felt some form of motherly love. love on earth is billions and billions of years old. creatures have loved each other on this planet since before the dawn of history. imagine being the first organism to love on this planet and what that must’ve been like

some cave paintings were animated. they had different frames painted over each other, and the flickering of a flame in the cave would cause the images to appear as if they were moving. isn’t that extremely profound?

i saw somewhere, that scientists attempted to see what an electron was made out of, or something to that effect. it’s made of a pool of energy, which is essentially nothing. no form, no matter. everything is made out of nothing.

6. romanticise your future

a lot of us probably don’t have a concept of the future, or if we do, it’s something that sounds absolutely horrible. well, forget about that! think instead about how hot n sexy you’ll be in your 30’s, 40’s, etc. don’t worry about how you’ll get there for now, your future self can take care of that. think about your ideal life, and get excited like it’s absolutely going to happen. the more you think about it, the more it will become true.

7. romanticise your current self

nobody in your life understands you? that’s because you’re the hot brooding mysterious one. struggle with very dark thoughts? omg you’d be so powerful as a jujutsu sorcerer. people are staring? it’s because they’re in love with you. people whispering as you go by? also in love with you. no friends? the universe had to keep you humble because otherwise you’d be too perfect. hate the way you look today? you’re just a littel troll babie. the more amusing these thoughts are, the better. and if you think these things for long enough, eventually it will trick your brain into thinking it’s true. who’s gonna check you? the telepaths?

8. put things into perspective

i am prone to delusional thoughts when i’m panicked, and i have to remind myself to reel it in. think about it, you’re more afraid of answering the phone than you are of death? doesn’t sound very cash money of you, bro.

think about how many years you’ve really lived, especially if you think you’ve failed in life. take 12 years off your age, because childhood doesn’t count. also take off any other years which you were forced to live the way someone else wanted you to live, rather than for myself.

for example, i’m currently 23. my household was pretty strict, so i couldn’t really do anything before age 18. which gives me a grand total of 5 years of me trying to figure out life by myself. it helps me to remember how young i actually am in the grand scheme of things, and that i have plenty of time to still figure things out.

9. find a safe outlet for dark urges

for me, art and journaling really helped. music too, especially when i felt like i could relate to either the lyrics, or just the tone/mood/feel of the song. it might be exercise, or you may like to do creative writing or make oc’s. sometimes you may just need a friend or someone to listen.

if you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can message me or shoot me an anon

10. sleep it off

sleep is not going to cure anything, but if i’m pushed over the edge and am struggling with dark thoughts, going to sleep almost always helps. most of the time i still feel like shit in the morning, but no longer in the mood to try anything hasty.

lastly: suicide is not the easy way out

note: i’m gonna be discussing my own experiences with suicide in this part, so if you don’t want to see that, then don’t read past this point

suicide is not the easy way out. it’s messy and it’s ugly and it’s painful and it’s gonna bring out the worst in people. i’ve been struggling with it since age 19.

one particular attempt landed me in the hospital after i swallowed a bunch of painkillers. i couldn’t think or speak properly, i was slurring my words and tripping over myself. my doctor brushed me off and said that it “would probably get better” with time, but it never did. it improved, but my mind has never been the same as it once was, and one of my biggest insecurities to this day is when i struggle to learn new things or get things mixed up that i shouldn’t. i struggle to learn the simplest of things, and my reaction times tend to be very slow.

the point is, sometimes you don’t die, sometimes you just end up hurting yourself in a way that won’t get better. nobody needs that. if had’ve known how to calm myself down back then, i might not’ve tried.

i don’t mind talking about it now, since i’ve dedicated so much time in learning how to uplift myself. i may be in the “better place” now, but you don’t need to rush yourself to be better immediately. sometimes you need to be patient, use baby steps, or learn to accomodate yourself where you are. these things take time. that’s okay.

and remember, you are loved and very much needed to be here on the planet with us.