#this is mostly rambly nonsense but i get emotional over him ya know

[divescustos]

sometimes i think about how edward is seventeen forever. just seventeen.

his mind will never fully mature, he'll always be the gangly teenager he was when carlisle changed him. he's learned a lot in his century of life, but some things can never change because of his nature. he never gets to grow up, a perpetual peter pan. he can watch his peers and even his siblings to a degree move on from the stage of life he's forever frozen in. even his own daughter will one day mature past him, and there's nothing he can do about it.

he was seventeen when his father died and suddenly he was seen as the man of the house. he tries to step up for his mother, but gets sick anyway, and so does she. he feels guilty for her running herself ragged trying to take care of him. he almost dies drowning from the fluid in his lungs, and then suffers from four days of agony before being told his entire life is now over, everyone he ever knew he can never see again, and many of them died regardless. he is part of an entire generation that watched the great war and then the spanish 'flu kill indiscriminately, and then watches it happen again, over and over.

he is impulsive and cruel and manipulative at times, but then he's also sweet and deeply caring and fiercely protective. he is terrified by loss, the trauma of it being his first everlasting memory. he pushes away those he fears hurting. his gift is a blessing and a curse. he feels responsibility for protecting the family, resents the rest of them (bar alice) for expecting him to do so. the rest of them have a partner and he feels the need to prove his worth to stay amongst them, especially after the disaster of his rebellious years.

he's suffered a loss of independence as our ideas of when we decide someone is now an adult have changed. he plays younger still for the sake of their cover story, giving up joys like his driving for years at a time in order to make things smoother for everyone else. he can read the minds of everyone around him but their lack of ability to do the same makes him feel lonely. he wonders how it would be if he weren't alone in his own head. he shares traumas that aren't his own to talk about, purely through memories he hears.

edward is a horror story, not because of his vampirism, but because he is seventeen. and he will only ever be seventeen.

[yan-sideblog]

Another idea for the 80s Summer Camp AU:

In between cycles of campers a bunch of the staff head out to one of the local bars over in town to blow off steam (with some either murmuring among themselves about the weird “bad luck” around camp, or others being a tad more grim: Taking bets on who’s next or theorizing that maybe they weren’t accidents after all *cue horror movie music*) Meanwhile Y/N wanted to hang with their lifeguard buddies at the bar, but of course Jack insisted on tagging along, half-joking about being their babysitter for the evening. Later that night and more than a few drinks later, Y/N is getting emotional as Jack is practically carrying them back to camp all: “You’re my best friend, you know that, Jack? I don’t have very many people that I can count on, so I’m glad I got to meet you.” Just showering that big blue haired dork with praise and even blurting out “I love you, man!” A few times…But naturally they wake up the next morning super hungover with zero memory of being super sappy to their best roomie; however Jack seems like he’s on cloud nine so they think to themselves ‘Well, hopefully I didn’t embarrass myself too badly then 😬’

Gotta love the d tried & true trope of "person not remembering bein a sappy mess". Gonna work up some quick HCs for this.

It's not unusual for Jack to tag along with people when they head to the bar to act as a babysitter of sorts.

Not that he doesn't enjoy hanging out with everyone, he absolutely does, but he's known to not be much of a drinker despite his high tolerance.

And most everyone sees him as a reliable fun guy to have around.

So of course his Sunshine going out only gives him that much more reason to tag along.

Gil doesn't mind him tagging along as much as he usually would since having an extra set of eyes on everyone would be helpful, especially considering 1 or 2 of them might need to be carried back.

Jack can't help but love how Y/N gets more cuddly and affectionate as the night wears on.

Atttempting to scoop him into big hugs and proclaim he's one of their favorite people ever and a hell of a roomie.

Very much believe in "a drunk person's words are a sober person's thoughts", at least as far as this situation is concerned.

When it's time to call it quits he's already scooping them up to carry them back.

They'd been clinging to him for support for the last half hour so he knew they wouldn't be able to walk.

On the way back their talk mostly consists of nonsensical ramblings that he's content to smile & nod to.

That is until they hit him with "I'm really glad i met ya Jack. I don't have much luck with people but you're easily the nicest most reliable guy I've ever met. So handsome to~.".

He'd be lying if he said his cheeks didn't flush as he let out a laugh.

"Aww thank you so much sunshine I'm glad i met you to, you're really important to me.".

Rest of the walk back is spent with him singing their praises and coaxing more sweet nothings from their inebriated mind.

By the time they get back to their room Y/N is out cold and Jack feels like he's on cloud nine.

He's still riding that high the next morning when he brings them a glass of water, pills and some eggs from breakfast to help with their hangover.

Not wanting to embarass them he'll keep the particulars of what they said/did to himself.

Though he's not above lightly teasing them about being an affectionate drunk.

[itssoweirdyoureher]

About Me: A Ramble

@a-collection-of-nonsense tagged me in a post to talk about myself, which is difficult for me because my mind always goes blank when I’m asked about myself. It’s like all of a sudden I know absolutely nothing about the last 23 years of my life? IDK but I’m going to TRY for my new Anti-Adult Adult Club friend! (ALSO I’m confused if your name is Em, or if you were using em like ‘about ‘em’ and ‘em is referring to people in general.) So for clarification sake, my name is Rachel, and I get confused by the simplest of things sometimes.

Appearance:

My appearance is EVER CHANGING. The one standard is my curly hair, which has a mind of its own, but even that has been chilling out recently—oh the joys of age. I dye my hair regularly, so it’s usually red or auburn, but my natural color is brown. I haven’t been blonde since I was like 8?

My glasses have also been a staple of my appearance for about the last 3 years? I used to wear contacts 24/7 and would never let anyone see me in my glasses; however, I had eye surgery and now the idea of putting things in my eyes is a BIG thing, so glasses it is.

I’m 5’5 and a HALF, and am constantly torn between dressing like I’m a NYC socialite in gossip girl and Jessica Jones. I’m usually Jessica Jones.

Personality:

This is the hard part? I’m bad at describing myself. I’m sarcastic and brutally honest, but only if I think someone can handle it at the time. FOR EXAMPLE, my friend was going through a rough break up a few years back, and all he wanted was to be coddled, but I gave him advice that I knew he could use once he wasn’t an emotional mess---but only because I knew he had other people taking care of his emotions etc. at the time; it would have been a different story if I knew he only had me to rely on—then I’d be handing out the spoons and pints of ice cream like Oprah.

I’m pretty cynical (very much like my earlier Jessica Jones reference), but I’m super optimistic when it comes to other people because I care SO much about the people I love—and just helping people in general.

Ability:

I’m really good at mediating, if that’s considered a skill? It appeases my nosiness, but I also love helping people, so I enjoy putting myself in each person’s shoes and explaining their motives/emotions/etc. to the other person.

I also really enjoy editing (aka my life’s passion at this point, so writers hmu ;))

Hobbies:

HAH I have a lot of hobbies that I used to love, but no longer do? I used to play volleyball and ride horses, but chronic pain and a body trying to self-destruct really gets in the way of things like hobbies.

I mostly stick to reading, watching movies/tv shows (yes I consider that a hobby), and playing video games (lol I’m a nerd, but I’m playing the new Zelda game for the switch, and I’M IN HEAVEN).

OH I’m also constantly on the hunt for the best ramen. (I’m a foodie that can’t really cook—it’s a hard knock life).

Experiences:

1.     Graduated college last year after going to exactly 4 different schools, being enrolled at 5, and actually being a full time student at 3 at the same time once.

2.     Had surgery on both of my eyes at the UCLA medical center—which may seem like a weird thing to mention, but it was a defining moment in my life for many reasons.

3.     Tackled my fear and finally visited NYC last year, and even after having my credit card stolen, being followed to my hotel room by a creepy guy, and being there during the terrorist attack, I didn’t hate it.

4.     Made two super awesome friends from high school that I wasn’t actually friends with while I was in high school lol.

5.     Went snowboarding in Canada and parasailing in Hawaii (That’s the coolest I could make myself sound, guys, seriously I’m the most boring person).

6.     Quit my assistant teaching job and moved halfway across the country with my parents to help with my grandpa. 

My life: 

My life...is in limbo right now. I graduated college and am trying to get into the publishing industry, but it is muy difícil. I quit my teaching job and moved across the country over the holidays, so I’m feeling super lost and unsure about my lifeeee (I told you I was a horrible adult). Also, ya know, there’s the whole living with my parents thing going on, which is totally cramping my love life (which has also been non-existent. Thanks, self-destructing body). I’m a FAKE 23 year old, people. I have -100000 of the experiences you should have at my age, but THAT’S OKAY. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself—spread positivity and all that, right?

Random stuff:

·       I used to have 1 horse, 1 pony, 1 goat, 1 pig, 2 cats, 1 dog, 2 birds, and 2 guinea pigs all at the same time. I only have 1 dog, 1 cat, and 2 birds now. My zoo is no longer a zoo.

·       I used to help my sister babysit the ferrets of Sarah Gruen when I was like 4? It was weird, but awesome.

·       My pony, whose name was Mouse, bucked me into a wall once because a chicken spooked him.

·       I am currently deciding whether I want to go back for my masters in English. If anyone has advice and/or lives near a good school and wants a roommate (the economy sucks for real), let me know.

I tag literally anyone who follows me because I want to know more about you (tag me in your posts!).