#this is more or less a joke idk when the pro/anti thing started but i don't remember seeing it until 2020

[jalapeno-princess]

More Than Friends

(I was gonna say he looks so good in here but who am I kidding, he always looks so fucking good)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst (but mainly fluff I can’t write angst to save my life)

Word Count: 5K

Summary: You and Mark have a very interesting relationship. The two of you are not exactly dating, but you’re not just friends either. Because of who he is, he isn’t able to take things further in your relationship no matter how badly he wants to. However, something causes him to feel the need to put a label on what exactly is going on between you both.

A/N: (It’s kind of repetitive lol idk how I feel about this story) This was requested by another one of my favorite followers on here @safetypineapples Thank you for all your love and support with my stories and I love reading all of yours! I hope you enjoy this one! Based on the song “At my weakest” by James Arthur.

It's a long night and a big crowd Under these lights looking 'round for you Yeah, I'm steppin' outside under moonlight To get my head right, lookin' out for you, yeah

Could it be your eyes Didn't know that I've been Waitin', waitin' for you When your by my side, everything's alright Crazy, I'm crazy for youOh, here I go, down that road Again and again the fool rushin' in But I can't help when I feel some kind of way Do you feel the same? 'Cause And I fall, I fall for you You caught me at my weakest And I fall for you

“Pick up—fuck—please pick up.” 

Mark was pacing back and forth in the hallway; he must’ve looked like a crazy person to all the staff and security guards at the event, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t too sure why it was happening, especially because he was right about to go on stage, but he was currently going through a panic attack. Just a couple of minutes ago, he was sitting in the dressing room with Yugyeom and Jinyoung, waiting for the rest of the guys to finish getting their makeup and hair done. He was playing a couple of games on his phone when he decided to scroll on Instagram and Twitter for a little while when he stumbled across of a few negative posts that crawled under his skin. 

Being a KPOP idol had its perks; he got to do what he loved, making music, writing songs, touring and traveling around the world, meeting new people and learning of their cultures and getting to perform on stage in front of thousands of their fans alongside his six best friends. Unfortunately, pros also came with cons. With the large amount of love he received all around the world, he also got a lot of unnecessary hate. He never understood what he did to be hated so much. 

Mark was a very kind-hearted, soft-spoken, generous, humble and hardworking person. Sure, he might not have been the best rapper in KPOP, but he gave his all in each and every one of his performances, practices, recording sessions and even when it didn’t have to do with the music; whether it was modeling or being on a reality tv show, he made sure to try his best in order to please everyone he was around. That’s all Mark really wanted to do, but it just wasn’t enough for some people. To the people who weren’t fans of him, if he was too generous, they would consider it as him showing off his wealth and social status. 

There were so many different organizations Mark would donate to and speak up for to show his support but so many antis would claim he was doing it just to look good to the public. However, once he went silent to stop all the loathing and hatred, people called him stingy and claimed he didn’t care about others. These days, it seemed as if Mark was the main target for hate within their group and that says a lot seeing as how Got7 were constantly hated on and ridiculed on a daily basis for no reason at all. Whenever something like this happened, his members would constantly tell him to stay away from social media and told him that all the negative people were just jealous of what an amazing person he was. 

Normally he would do quite the good job with ignoring the hate, and the rumors that were made up about him that made no actual sense at all; but for some reason there was one comment about how Got7 would be much better off without Mark in the group because apparently “Mark doesn’t do anything to really help the groups success in any way.” Or so the comment read. He tried his best to ignore it and he wanted to find something to take his mind off of the comment, but he couldn’t. 

Not even the funny video Yugyeom showed him could prevent him from overthinking and he really didn’t want to show that he was bothered to the other members. As much as he loved them like family, the last thing he wanted to hear was to ignore the hate which is what they always told him. One can only ignore something so much until it actually eats away at them to the point where they feel like screaming and since Mark wasn’t in a place where he could verbally or physically let out his frustrations, he excused himself from the room and walked throughout the arena looking for a quiet and empty place to call the only person he knew that could calm him down. 

The only person whose been on his mind and clouding up his thoughts for the last two months since the tour started. Mark considered every single member of Got7 to be his best friend; from day one the seven of them have been through so much together. So many ups and downs, so many trials and tribulations that only made them stronger as individuals and a whole group. Each member had their own way of cheering Mark up; whether it was Jackson making silly jokes, Jinyoung reciting lines from a show he was acting in, Youngjae bringing coco over for Mark to play with her or BamBam buying him a bunch of luxurious items because in his words “a little Gucci never hurt nobody.” 

However, the only person who could really get Mark out of the deepest funk was you. You, in more or less words were the only other best friend Mark had apart from his members. He told you every single secret, worry, doubt and insecurity he had because he trusted you with his entire being. On the fateful day the two of you met over a year and a half ago, Mark knew you were going to be someone special in his life and that was an understatement. If he was being honest, you were his entire life; Mark never believed in soulmates before meeting you. 

The idea of two people out of the billions of people in the world being destined together was so cliche and he didn’t understand why so many people would claim they met their soulmate. As the days went by and he spent more and more time with you, Mark realized that he got more than he bargained for when he became friends with you and that’s when he knew he was in trouble. Your relationship with Mark was hard to explain; for the first few months, you found confidants in one another. He was your escape from reality just as much as you were his. When your education and work got too much for you to handle, Mark would do whatever he could in his power to get you to focus on better things. Further down the line of being friends, it then blossomed in to something more. Even when Mark was still getting to know you, he found himself developing a little crush on you, but it was inevitable. 

You had a beauty that Mark couldn’t even put in to words to describe. He may have been surrounded with so many beautiful idols, actresses and models on a weekly basis, but there was just something; actually many things about you that stood out from everyone else. Mark was sure he’d be able to spot you in a crowded room because his eyes were always looking for you and because you just radiated such a positive and spirit lifting energy that was so contagious. He always wanted to be around you. Around four months in to your friendship, Mark confesses his feelings for you, but he knew he couldn’t act on them. Dating was taboo in the KPOP industry and most idols who were in relationships did their best in hiding it. 

There was nothing Mark wanted more than to be the lucky guy you called yours, but it was selfish of him to want to take things further with you knowing that he’d be holding you back from so many things. And it wasn’t like the two of you could have a normal relationship. He wouldn’t get to take you on all these cute dates he was sure you wanted to go on, he wouldn’t get to post about you nor would you be allowed to post anything about him, he couldn’t hold hands, hug you, hold you and kiss you unless it was behind closed doors. 

He wouldn’t be able to give you the love and attention you deserved and never failed to show him every single day and that’s what bothered him the most. You were so close, yet so far away and Mark was afraid that you’d get tired of being just friends with him and decide that you didn’t want to wait around for him. Especially since you requited his same feelings and made it aware that you were willing to do whatever it was that he asked of you. You were aware of how hectic his life was and you had a feeling a relationship would be something he wouldn’t be able to give you and you respected it completely. 

As long as you had Mark in your life, it didn’t matter what he was to you. But you were only human. You were still so young and had a great head on your shoulders. You had so much going for you yet you were always at his beck and call whenever he needed you. To both his delight yet dismay, you were willing to drop anything and everything for him. While he was away, you’d wake up in the middle of the night to talk to him and stay up till the wee hours of the morning to listen to him talk about his day even if you had an early morning shift or class. 

When he got sick, you’d pick up some medication and make some soup to help him feel better. If you were out with friends or colleagues and he asked to hang out, you’d give them some lame excuse and made your way over to him. Mark could never come up with the right words to say to show you and tell you just how much you meant to him and how afraid he was to lose you. All he could do, was show you through his actions; his gentle kisses on your cheeks, your forehead and your lips, how he would always need to be touching you whenever the two of you would spend time together, the way he would always check up on you to make sure you’ve eaten all your meals and that you were taking good care of yourself and doing all these little things for you like blowdrying your hair for you when you were too tired or helping you study for an exam even if he had no clue what he was reading. 

He could only hope you understood his nonverbal signals of love. Being on tour was always so fun; it seemed as if more fans came out with every new tour and tonight in London, there were at least 40,000 people at the Wembley stadium waiting for Got7 to perform. Over the years, his nerves slowly calmed down and performing on stage was such an indescribable feeling that he was so grateful for being able to do. The only thing he hated about touring, was being away from you. 

Mark made sure to FaceTime you whenever he got the chance, but it wasn’t the same as seeing your breathtaking smile and contagious laughter that he loved so much in person. He’s asked you to go along with them many times, but because you were a full time student with a full time job, and Mark’s company didn’t think it would look good for some random girl to join them on tour and follow them around the world, you stayed back in Korea. As the phone line kept ringing, anxiety built up in his chest the longer he waited. He checked his phone to see what time it was in Korea and he let out an exasperated sigh. 

It was currently six in the morning and since Mark knew your schedule like the back of his hand, there was a chance you were either getting ready for school or for work and he tried his best not to be upset. Just like how his work was his main priority, you had every right to make your studies and your work ethic your main concern. However, you had a tendency to put Mark at the top of your priorities and sometimes he wished you didn’t think so highly of him. He wanted to give you the same amount of attention and praise you’ve shown him over the years and you were his second main focus right after his job. 

He hated putting you second, he was sure you must’ve loathed having to be his second priority but you never complained nor would you make it known that it bothered you and Mark didn’t know what higher power it was that brought you two together nor did he know what he did to deserve someone so patient and understanding, but he would do it time and time again if it meant having you in his life for as long as he possibly could. With one more sigh, he began walking back towards the corridors where their waiting room was located when he felt his phone vibrate. He didn’t even miss a beat, once he saw your name on the screen he answered and he didn’t care how desperate he sounded. He was sure he didn’t have much time to talk to you, but it didn’t matter. All Mark needed was to hear your voice and he knew he’d feel so much better. 

“Hey baby, I’m sorry I missed your call. I was washing my face and brushing my teeth. Aren’t you going on stage here soon? Is everything okay?” 

Just hearing your soft little giggle through the speaker was enough to get him to forget of his problems and all he focus on was the sound of your gentle and extremely soothing voice. The term of endearment made him feel even more giddy and he was sure if the guys were to see the effect that you had on him, they wouldn’t let him live it down. 

“Yeah I just—I just wanted to talk to you. I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, I just really miss you. That’s all.” 

By the hesitant tone of his voice, you could tell there was something more that he wasn’t telling you, but you weren’t going to pry at him. You never forced mark to go in to detail about what was worrying him and wanted him to confide in you at his pace. But you hated knowing that something was currently on his mind not knowing exactly what it was. Even if Mark was a couple of years older than you, you always felt the need to protect him from any evil. His happiness and well being was all you ever cared about and sometimes you’d put it before your own. 

“I miss you too Mark and you’re never a bother, you know that. You know if something is wrong, you can tell me right?” 

Although you couldn’t see him, you could tell he was nodding in agreement. The two of you had a mutual understanding; you’d wait for each other to find solace in one another but when you did, you’d let it all out. “I know, thanks y/n. I read something so shitty earlier, but hearing your voice makes it all the more better. Don’t worry about me babe, I’m okay. I’m sure the guys are probably looking for me. I’ll call you after the show, have a nice morning and don’t forget to eat a hearty breakfast. I’ll talk to you soon love.” 

Once you both said your goodbyes, Mark felt energized and ready to go on stage. He didn’t think it was possible for someone to change him for the better but here you were, making his heart feel as if it was about to bust out of his chest and he never wanted that feeling to go away. As soon as he made his way back to the dressing room where all the guys were dressed up and waiting for him, they were all confused seeing the huge grin on his face after he left so abruptly as if something was wrong; but none of them were going to question it. They were all aware of who you were to Mark and all six of them approved of you. 

They loved the effect you had on the eldest boy; they loved the way you made him laugh and smile on his darkest days. You were the light Mark needed and they knew you were put in his life to save him from himself. Once they all walked out onstage and heard the thousands of screams and chants echoing throughout the arena, anything that was bothering Mark no longer mattered to him. All he could think about was making the fans happy, putting all his energy in to each and every song they performed and getting to call you again later. The concert went off without a hitch and honestly it had to be one of the best concerts they’ve done since they started touring. 

For the rest of the week, Got7 finished the Europe leg of the tour and as much as Mark loved exploring the many different cities, trying the different foods they had to offer and taking a well deserved rest from all his other work, he couldn’t wait for the two week break the guys were allowed back in Korea. He couldn’t find it in himself to sleep the night before, he was just so excited to have you in his arms again and he came up with the plan to surprise you about coming home earlier than expected. Everyone seemed to know of Mark’s plans because as soon as they landed, they hailed him a taxi and gave the driver your address which he was extremely grateful for. While he was away, he’d find himself overthinking your relationship. 

He wanted—no, Mark needed to set things straight between the two of you. Even if you told him that you were willing to wait for him for as long as he needed you to, humans could only be patient for so long and he was afraid you’d find somebody while he was away. Somebody who could take care of you in ways Mark could only wish he’d be able to. Somebody who would love you freely; out in the open without having to worry about a rumor breaking out. Somebody worthy of all your love and admiration. 

It was late when they arrived back and he could only hope you didn’t log on to social media and saw that Got7 were back in Korea. He quickly stopped by a cute little hole in the wall florist shop and purchased you a dozen of your favorite flowers. No matter how jet lagged he was from the ten hour flight and how much he wanted to go to sleep, the desire and urge to hold you in his arms was stronger than any exhaustion he felt. He knew he should’ve texted you to ask what you were doing in case you were out to dinner with your friends, but he was just too excited to finally see you that it slipped his mind that there was a chance you weren’t home. 

As soon as he buzzed your doorbell, there was an odd feeling that crashed over him and he couldn’t put his finger on it. However, once you opened the door and he saw you dressed so prettily, the numbness he felt in his chest only grew more. 

“Oh my God—Mark! What are you doing back so early?!” 

You didn’t give him any time to answer before you practically jumped on him; wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. You began leaving chaste kisses on the sides of his face and finally left a sloppy kiss on the corner of his mouth before jumping down. 

“Hello to you too baby. I wanted to surprise you. God y/n, I’ve missed you so much.” 

You looked up at him with an adoring look in your eyes before cupping his cheek. These last three months without him was just as hard and if not more difficult on you than it was for him. Mark had all his members, friends, staff, family and fans by his side but all you really had was him. Although he never failed to lean on you whenever he needed to, you didn’t want to bother him and handled most of your problems by yourself. Even if he told you to tell him when something wasn’t going your way; you just never wanted to burden him. Just getting a text of encouragement was enough to help ease your negative thoughts. 

Seeing him, with his fluffy, brown hair down to his neck, his face more healthier and fuller than the last time you’ve seen each other and his biceps more prominent, it was an overwhelming feeling and you had a hard time believing he was actually back and at your apartment. 

“Mmm, I missed you too handsome. Let’s get you settled in. Did you eat? Are you hungry? You look exhausted Mark.” You reached for his hand as he held the bouquet of flowers under his arm and dragged in his luggage with his free hand. Since you were ahead of him, you didn’t get to see the way his cheeks turned bright pink at your sudden movement. He was so whipped for you. Once you walked in to your living room, he was quick to notice the box of chocolates on your coffee table and the flowers in a vase sitting on your counter. There was that weird feeling again and he was soon growing curious with what exactly it was that seemed to be eating away at him. You had him take a seat on the couch as you hurriedly brought his luggage in to your room and made your way back to him. 

“I uh—these are for you.” You gave him a toothy grin; excited at the idea of him thinking to stop by somewhere and get you flowers. The soft peck on his lips was your token of appreciation and you walked in to your kitchen to find another vase to put his flowers in. Although he felt as if he could practically knock out right there, he got up from the couch and walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his chin on top of your shoulder. You’ve always adored the height difference between you and Mark. You weren’t the shortest person ever, but you weren’t blessed with height. You shivered at the feeling of him pressing a kiss against your neck and leaned back in to his chest to give him more access to your nape. 

“Where’d you buy the flowers from?” When he felt you tense up at his question, he knew something was up and he had a gut feeling he wasn’t going to like the answer. 

“I just came back from a double date—but it’s not what you think. One of my coworkers really likes this guy, but she didn’t want to go out with him on her own just yet so she asked me to tag along with her. Honestly she’s been trying to set me up with all these guys but I’ve told her I’m unavailable more times than I can count on my hands. I think she used that as an excuse for me to go out on a date, but I really wasn’t interested. He gave me these flowers and those chocolates, but I didn’t really give him any of my attention and if I’m being honest, the entire thing was so awkward and I gave an excuse to leave early. I’m glad I did though.” 

You were facing him at his point and ran both your hands through his hair. So that’s why you were all dolled up; Mark knew he wasn’t overreacting for no reason. You just came back from a date. It didn’t matter that your friend set you up, for all he knew you could go on multiple dates and he couldn’t do anything about it. The two of you were untitled. He didn’t have the right to stop you from looking for a genuine relationship. All he could do was hope and pray that the feelings you harbored for him were enough to get you to stick around. 

The way his brows furrowed made you nervous and you didn’t think he cared for you in that way to get bothered at the idea of you seeing someone else. You and Mark may have acted like a couple, but because he wasn’t able to be in a relationship nor did he make it verbally known that he wanted to be one with you, you didn’t think it was possible for him to grow jealous at the thought of you dating someone else. 

“I see. Have you been on any other dates? Met anyone worth your while?”

“No. Just the one tonight. Why would I look for anyone else when I have you Mark? Or I mean—actually I don’t know what I mean. I’m not yours and you’re not mine yet I’m holding on to this tiny little thread and the little voice that’s telling me to not give up on us but I don’t know what you see me as; for all I know I could just be a friend you kiss every now and then just because you can’t have anything to serious. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me and that I’m fine with being stuck in this untitled relationship knowing that I want more, but all I care about is you. I know it’s hard for you to live a normal life and I just wanted to give you whatever it is that you need. I’m sorry, I talk too much—“ 

When you felt a teardrop fell on your cheek, you hesitantly looked up at the older boy and felt a pang to your chest at the sight of his lip quivering as tears were building up at his eyelids. Everyone and anyone who knew Mark was well aware of how sensitive he could be and it was a trait of his you genuinely appreciated. It showed that he had such a big heart. There were moments where he would cry watching a sad video or movie and you’d always smile softly to yourself at how adorable he was. But now, seeing him cry and having a feeling that you were the reason made your head spin. He brought his hands down to your waist and lifted you up on to the counter before connecting your lips together in a rough and extremely passionate kiss. 

You and Mark might have shared quite a few kisses in the last year, but this was the first time his lips smashed and melded against yours perfectly. His lips were chapped and tasted salty from his tears, but it didn’t matter. He all but gently forced his tongue in to your mouth and down your throat and although the feeling was foreign, you could find yourself getting used to this. All too soon, he pulled his lips away and placed his forehead against yours, earning himself a soft whimper from the absence of warmth. He began gliding his thumb along your thigh while lifting your chin up so that you were making eye contact with him.

“I’m sorry y/n, I’m so fucking sorry for having to put you through all of that for the last year but I’m so grateful for each and every single sacrifice you’ve made for me. You’re way more than just a friend to me baby, I thought it was obvious with the way I have to constantly be kissing these pretty lips of yours and the way I always need you around. If you were just a friend, I wouldn’t be calling you and checking up on you every day. You wouldn’t be on my mind the first thing when I wake up and right before I go to bed and I know it’s my fault for not telling you how I feel but I’m telling you now, I’m crazy about you. I was always yours y/n, always. You mean everything to me y/n and you know what? I love you. I love you so much y/n and I plan on loving you for a very long time. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, I don’t care about the repercussions or what punishment I get for this, but please be my girlfriend. I’ll do anything to be yours completely.” 

With the way he was looking at you, as if you were the one who set the entire universe in to the sky, you were putty in his hands. You never said it out loud, but this is what you’ve wanted from the time that Mark stumbled in to your life. Because you were afraid to come off too forward and selfish, you didn’t tell him that you’d daydream of the day he could finally be able to date you without having to worry about what people or say or do if and when they were to find out. You pulled him closer to your body and hid your face in the crook of his neck. Feeling his heartbeat against your chest made it harder for you to keep the growing smile on your face at bay. You really did love the beautiful boy in front of you. 

“I love you too Mark. I’ve always had these feelings for you and I know they’re not going anywhere. You really are one of the best things that ever happened to me. I want nothing more than to take things further with you. It’s always been you too baby. I’m always going to be here for you.” 

He stole a couple more kisses from the corner of your mouth before picking you up from off of the counter and throwing you over his shoulder. “Mark, what are you doing?!”

“You can’t look that amazing and not expect me to show you exactly what you do to me. I’m gonna make love to my beautiful baby.”

“Mark! At least take me to dinner first before getting in to my pants you ass.”

He playfully slapped your butt before making his way toward your room. “You know babe, our relationship was never normal to begin with so there’s no point in following the rules. I like living dangerously. Forget dinner y/n, I’m going straight for dessert.”

Oh, here I go down that road Again and again the fool rushin' in But I can't help when I feel some kind of way Do you feel the same? 'Cause And I fall, I fall for you You caught me at my weakest I fall, I fall for you You caught me at my weakest I fall for you

Love you gonna get hold on me Tell me what you gonna do to me Now you've gone and got your hands on me Tell me what you gonna doAnd here I go down that road Again and again the fool rushin' in But I can't help when I feel some kind of way Do you feel the same?'Cause I fall, I fall for you You caught me at my weakest Yeah, I fall, I fall for you You caught me at my weakest And I fall for you

[shadowofthelamp]

So, this was a long twitter ramble made really, really early this morning before I went to bed. I’m trying to tweak Timber’s story to be a little less... flat, I guess? It seemed a little overly simplistic, but be fair, I first made him... oh god, six and a half years ago. This is basically just talking myself through how to rework it a little while still mostly getting the same result, and it feels a little more organic this way.

I skimmed the reset timeline!M:25yl comics (the one that was only two issues) but I think an interesting dimension to add to Timber’s story is that... there were probably a lot of people who genuinely liked what Shadow had done. He was ruthless, but managed to CREATE WORLD PEACE. The idea that the second Shadow got sealed away everyone except for his very inner circle was just immediately okay with it and kept that peace up without any kind of threat feels sort of contrived, y’know?

Timber mostly likes keeping his head down and away from comparisons to his bio dad. He doesn’t like- but at least kinda gets- people who don’t like him because of it, but having people fanboy and HOPE he’ll help bring Shadow back would be 10x weirder for him, muddling already mixed signals.

I joke that he had fangirls who kept tabs on him (come on, Elias had them and I feel like with his parents being who they are, he’d be pretty cute) but people who just see him as an extension of the dad he never knew on EITHER end just stress him out. He feels like he’s never getting the full story.

And this mostly happens after the tikhaos incident, so after Shadow was on the loose. Conspiracy theories crop up by the dozen both pro- and anti-Shadow. A lot of them end up revolving around Timber who is freaked out because his powers are starting to manifest more strongly.

He started training under the daughter of the Guardian who worked high-up for Shadow. THAT sparked even more rumors, but they probably tried to shelter him from it as much as they could. The fact that he was a pretty even split but leaned towards resembling his dad didn’t help.

My initial ideas with him were more ‘oh boo-hoo I look like him so people are mean to me’ but the fact that his life and reputation is so wholly out of his hands and people twist /anything/ he does to suit their own imaginary agenda is still a solid premise imo.

That actually might help solve one of my other problems- I feel like if he caught wind of this stuff (and he would, he’s a smart kid) he’d probably end up trying to repress anything ‘bad’ to be ‘good’, instead of his parents being ooc and misguidedly doing it themselves.

Just the thought of a kid who’s realizing that people see him in all sorts of ways trying to swallow himself down to not give the people who hate him for things out of his control more ammo while fending off doubts from the praise of those who want him to be something he’s not...

He WANTS to be a good son, he cares for his parents and his siblings, but the media seems to like the twins so much more, so he tries to fade into the background so it might not hurt. He never likes what they say, whether they think they like him or not.

He REALLY has issues with feeling like a mistake to get rid of and like the twins were the ones they really wanted. Both sally and sonic do make every effort to show they care- and they do! It’s just the idea that he’s lesser burrows into his brain and refuses to dig out.

He tried to be perfect and not make mistakes, and when he can’t do that, he tried to fade into the background because no attention is good attention. He probably ends up having talks with elias about it when he gets older, since his uncle definitely knows the feeling.

He doesn’t mind positive coverage for things he actually did- like volunteering or something- but how often it spins back to his bio dad just annoys him to the point where he just wants it all to go away. It takes him years to not internalize all the garbage tabloids spit out.

Things probably get even worse after he seals Shadow off with Lara-Su again- but by then he’s starting to learn to not care. I don’t doubt this whole mess is part of why he wants to stay in Devi’s dimension- all they’d know is specifically what HE tells them.

Ugh, idk if I’m explaining any of this properly. He feels like he doesn’t know himself or what he really wants because he keeps hearing conflicting ideas and he’s unfortunately susceptible to it because of his pre-existing anxieties, so he puts up walls as a defense thing.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #306

i’m v talkative today so pardon my jabbering below.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I think I've had one of those lollipops with a bug in it before as a kid? I don't remember. What would be your most ideal profession? A freelance photographer. But I'm honestly starting to lose hope. Have you tried those coloring books for adults? Yeah; it's funny you mention 'em, 'cuz a family friend got me one for my birthday earlier this month. What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I don't like talking about my sexual history, doesn't matter who you are. It's just uncomfortable. What was your first gaming console? An Atari. Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* MAY NEEDS TO FUCKIN' HURRY. My tattoo appointment is set then. :''') Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout when I was young. What is something you're very passionate about? Nature conservation, gay rights (equal rights in general, really), the pro-choice movement, and then there are less "important" things like certain hobbies interests and such. I'm sure there are more big ones that are just slipping my mind right now, considering I feel passionately for a shitload of stuff. What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in Art & Design with a focus on Photography in college. But guess who dropped out. What was the last present you gave someone? I don't know... I mention enough that I don't have a source of income where I can really buy anything. I think the last thing I did was a Christmas gift for Mom a year or two back of a drawing I did of our late dog Cali, whom she absolutely adored. Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Not really, no. What was the last thing you achieved? PHP has helped me focus on little victories, so prepare for an underwhelming answer haha, but it's something. I Facebook messaged an old friend I really wanted to catch up with, and everyone in group cheered for me. :') It was really heartwarming. What a shocker that this program is really helping me once again. What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I would love love love to take at least one "famous" or award-winning photograph. It'd be such amazing validation that I'm talented at something I love so much. What is one philosophy you have regarding life/living/purpose? That's... difficult to answer seeing as I'm trying desperately to find my purpose. I do try to live by this old quote a therapist said once: "Deal with life, or life deals with you." I think it holds an incredible amount of depth and meaning in such a short phrase. How would you design the inside of your own home? I don't know the details of it, really, besides that shit is gonna look like a Halloween house year-round. I can imagine wanting black furniture, too, and having loooots of decor expressive of what I love and find comfort in. Gotta make a house feel like a home just for me. What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Backstreet Boys, duh. Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)? Two things: it depends on the topic, and "get mad" is the wrong term for what I feel. It's more disgust; ex., I'm repulsed by anti-gay rights people and want absolutely nothing to do with 'em, but I'm not like, mad at them. Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Oh yeah, and it definitely depends on the raw photograph. I edit depending on the mood it emanates; like if you've seen my roadkill photography versus nature shots, there is an extremely distinct difference in editing style and vibe. I'd say in general though, I tend to like to brighten my photographs and add more vibrance. If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? God, I could write an essay on this. I just love and am so thankful for the fact we can literally freeze time forever with the click of a button and look back on fantastic sights, beautiful moments, memories... It's just magical to me, and I adore contributing to that art. Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Well yeah, that's my preference, actually. What is your absolute favorite food? The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, jfc. Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? Fuck to the absolute hell no. What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Idk, considering I'm not well-versed in the artistic creations of other countries. Perhaps India? Japan? I dunno. If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I'm asking for his fucking autograph and a hug while I smile my face in two AND cry lmao. What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I ain't gonna bullshit nobody, my PTSD. In some way or another, he's lurking in that head of mine through memories, flashbacks, wonders of what could have gone differently... but thank God it's no longer in the forefront of my mind after my first PHP. I've come very, very far, but especially when trying to blank out my mind to fall asleep, parts of PTSD strangle my brain until I'm just finally out. I really hope that changes someday. Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Yikes, nowhere, really. I like to avoid busy locations. Do you think video games cause people to become violent? Absolutely not. You are responsible for the decisions you make; music, games, movies, etc. have no deciding voice in stupid shit you do, and it's bullshit that people blame art and entertainment for such things. Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? I'm unsure. Have you or could you build your own site? Absolutely not from scratch. The closest I've gotten to that is my photography website, but it was through the assistance of Wix. What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Scrambled eggs, haha. I do make some bomb eggs at least. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighborhood? No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. God, I want to go vegetarian again... Besides English, what other languages can you speak? I can speak a very little bit of German. Took four semesters of it in high school and became very good at it, but lack of practice has pretty much ruined that. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well; as in, I can pronounce most words I see, but that doesn't mean I understand what is written. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Gordon Ramsey would deadass kick me off his show on day one, lmao. What's your favorite kind of tea? It marvels me JUST how many tea and coffee questions are in surveys. Anyway, I don't like tea. I am an embarrassment to NC culture. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? lask;dfjal;wekrjwe What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? Stealing my happiness back from someone who had no right to hold it all in its entirety. That shit's mine. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? Most, probably, but in some ways I can understand it - at least, in the sense that with the assistance of modern technology and advancements in satiating our wants so quickly, kids just expect it. I definitely believe that patience is something to try to be deeply instilled in everyone, though. I don't have an ounce of it (in most situations) and wish I did. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? One of my favorite Southern experiences is finding a bunch of honeysuckles and tasting the honey (is it technically even honey??). Tastes amazing. My family's hairdresser lives down a beautiful path that sprouts a massive amount of them, and as kids, my sisters and her two boys would go tasting them while our parents talked for so long, or if we were waiting our turn. Good memories. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I'm not sure, really. What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? "Inappropriate humor type jokes." <<<< They can get me sometimes, too. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I don't believe so, no. Besides making a tye-dye one in HS with our school colors. Wasn't my idea and never wore it, haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? It depends on the person. If it's a friend, absolutely, because I love learning usually obscure things about them I wouldn't have known otherwise. If it's a user I don't know from wherever I got the survey, sometimes, depending on how short the answer is and my eyes kinda just scroll over it. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, especially mornings. I'm generally happier when there's light around. What's your highest level of education so far? Some college. Describe your ordinary day: My average day is embarrassingly uneventful. It's sitting on the laptop doing shit on various sites, none of which are actually important, and playing WoW, which is also without true substance, save for social interactions with my friends on there. I spray Venus' terrarium everyday multiple times as well to keep the humidity up, and obviously eat and handle that kinda bodily needs stuff. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Ugh, that'd be so dope. I've seen some awesome ones, but idk if I'd get one, considering when am I actually going to be under UV light?? Like I wanna be able to see my tat. What is the brand and color name of your favorite lipstick? I have one black lipstick, but it comes right off so I don't even like it. I only ever put it on to take pictures. What do you like on your tortilla? Just ham and cheese. How about inside your pita bread? I've never had pita bread, actually. What do you like in your burger? It depends on where I'm getting the burger. My basic is cheese, ketchup, mustard, a bit of mayo, pickles, and a light sprinkle of diced onion, but sometimes I add bacon and take away the onions. How about on your pizza? I have three I tend to pick from: pepperoni, jalapeno, or meat lovers. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone, definitely. Which body part would you not mind losing? I'ma be extremely honest, with just how horribly weak my legs are, I could live without them, I guess. Not saying I want to by any means, it's just exhausting using them. Ideally, I'd take away something minor, like a finger or something. What common saying people use is absolute BS to you? “'Everything happens for a reason.'” <<<< Fuckin' colossal "same." I won't rag on people who believe it, especially if it gives you courage to keep moving forward, but I don't believe it in the slightest. If it were so, I'd like to talk to whoever is in control of those "reasons," please. What is the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week? I had no idea elephants were pregnant for two years, like holy shit, can you imagine. It was in an article I saw on Facebook about a mother and daughter elephant who are both expecting and doing well. Wonderful to hear. What’s the most useless talent you have? Ha, I'm a master in the arts of catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions involving people hating me in one way or another. What’s something everyone looks stupid doing? I'm one of those people who hate dabbing done by anybody, like you look like you're just smelling your armpit. Which kids’ movie scarred you for life? I wouldn't say "scarred me for life" by any means, but when I was little, I was terrified of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz and even had nightmares about her. It sucked because my little sister was obsessed with that movie, haha. In one sentence, how would you sum up the Internet? A source of incredible knowledge but also hate and misinformation. What would be the most ridiculous thing for the government to make illegal? I literally dread the idea of Roe vs. Wade being reversed. Banning abortion would kill so many people with operational uteruses and cause absolute pandemonium. How many friends do you have on social media and how many of them do you know for real? On Facebook, I have 124 friends, and I'd say I know most of them "in real life." However, having been on the Internet since I was so young and befriending loads of incredible people, a good chunk are "online friends." Hell, I'm more interested in their lives than most "real" ones. Long-distance friendships are so valid. What fact amazes you every time you think of it? Lots of things, generally regarding the stupidity of humanity. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Probably going to the beach w/ my old friend Colleen. We had zero plans of doing it, but she just called me one morning and asked if I wanted to go, and off we went. It was a fun day. What has taken up too much of your life? I'ma be real, WoW. I don't think I'm addicted to it like I once was seeing as I go through spans where I barely want to play it at all and don't, so I truly am capable of not playing it, but rather it's just the most entertaining way to kill time in my life. I just don't like how much time I've invested into a game over six or seven years regardless. Where do you not mind waiting? Uh, nowhere lmao. Is there an app you hate to use, but still use every day? No; why would I use it if that was the case? Who is the funniest person you know? My friend Girt is fucking hysterical. What three words describe you best? Complex, passionate, and creative. What makes you think you’re smart? Lol who says I think I'm smart? Who inspires you? Korean Jesus. Okay on a serious note, not just him, of course, but he's #1 in an entire universe of ways. Do you aspire to be like somebody else? If so, who? No; I want to be my own authentic self. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Which one of your accomplishments are you the most proud of? I want to say my recovery, but like... I wonder a lot if it's "enough" to be proud of with how scarred I still am? I still struggle with a lot and feel like I could be so much better by now if I tried harder. If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's finishing high school in the top percentile of my graduating class. There was a ceremony for the handful of us and all, and I cherish my plaque probably too much. Reminds me of a time when I knew what the fuck I was doing. What's the strangest thing you ever did as a child? Thinking I had "animal powers" where I could invoke the traits of certain animals at will, like what the actual fuck, Brittany. What did your mother teach you? Christ, a lot. Dad didn't do a lot of the raising, honestly, so much of my core values and whatnot were instilled by my mother. She taught me to care for and be nice to others, respect myself, try my best in everything, and most importantly that she is always there for me and my sisters no matter what and can tell her absolutely anything. She was very serious about us going to college and saving sex for marriage when we were younger, but she diverged from those ideas as absolutely necessary with experience. I'm extremely lucky with who I call my mom, overall. What did your father teach you? Eek... Read above. Not a lot as a kid (save for riding a bike and playing softball); most he's taught me has come following reuniting with him after my parents' divorce. I remember we went to lunch once and talked about my breakup, and he talked to me about sometimes, you just have to let people go in order to be happy, like with him and Mom. He's very serious now about ensuring us girls know that he is always there for us and will help us in any way he's capable. What makes you feel powerful? "Powerful" isn't something I really feel, if I'm being real. What are you ready to let go? It would be inexplicably fantastic if I could let every speck of Jason go in both my head and heart. What is your most bizarre deal-breaker? I don't really find any of my expectations and limits as "bizarre?" They're all valid to me. Well wait, idk if you'd find it strange that I absofuckinglutely would not date someone who hunts, but it's not to me. That's a difference in a very serious value to me. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? Hated. God, I don't want to leave this earth having given just nothing. I can live with some people hating me for whatever reason. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve made? Accepting my bisexuality, probably. That's something that I consider pretty big for two reasons: 1.) I could end up with a woman forever, and especially 2.) I was originally homophobic. I still have difficulty in fathoming how I ever was. What are some of your short-term goals? PHP is finally starting to make me build these again. I want to get better at selfcare, draw, write, and read more, I want to drink a lot more water, exercise way more... Lots of things, really. What is the weirdest thing about you? Uh. I dunno. Probably that I RP meerkats, which is a very obscure RP niche for sure.

[dabistits]

i didn't know abt hori liking the avengers movies but i'm not surprised. what i mean with "by design" is that wheter he noticed or not he's so inspired by american comics that he ended up adopting the most overarching trope of mainstream properties: even if the heroes are vigilantes and the villains sympatetic the villains are always wrong and the heroes are (or at least try to be) in the side of the law. but question: can we say bnha villains are leftifts when their ideologies are so hollow?

 oh, yes, i definitely agree with that! for your question, i think asking whether any ostensibly villain in a centrist/liberal narrative is really leftist is going to just be a resounding ‘no.’ and that’s because the creators never really understand nor are they really sympathetic to leftist causes. let’s take erik killmonger, who actually does espouse a specific ideology—even while he promotes armed liberation for the black diaspora, rightfully remarking upon the global presence & violence of antiblackness, he regularly assaults black women on screen (including killing his gf) and proudly speaks of his exploits in the (imperialistic) US military. (and of course the movie can’t decide what it actually wants to say about imperialism, bcs killmonger working in the military = bad & villainous, but everett ross being an actual... cia(??) operative = good white ally.)

so the thing about these narratives is that they fake you out on some level. we start out with a premise that will find a lot of sympathy among general (or sometimes specifically leftist) audiences, whether it be liberation from antiblackness, justice for xmen, or opposition to institutional violence from pro heroes. the problem is, stories crafted by non-leftists can never really follow through to the logical conclusion of that premise: injustice must be swiftly confronted and the system must be dismantled, violently if necessary. but that position is completely anathema to most viewers, and it’s most certainly anathema to the execs who green-light these “creative” pursuits. that’s why the narrative ‘good guys’ (t’challa, charles xavier, izuku & co) are moderates who will push for change at a pace that’s palatable to liberals and even conservatives. the real life counterparts to their efforts also wind up being mostly toothless, which is not coincidental. capitalists that run these enterprises know that ‘change within the system’ doesn’t work irl; that’s why they push for it in the stories they churn out, because if they can convincingly sell to you that change outside the system is bad, what more do you have left?

they accomplish this task by writing these ‘well-intentioned extremists.’ starting with a premise that most people are sympathetic with, they then push that premise into the realm of absurdity: “killmonger and magneto want to give people ways to fight their oppression asap? well, they’re also basically genocidal maniacs who have no empathy for anyone or anything beyond their ideology! don’t you see that this is the natural conclusion of changing things too fast? you don’t want to be like that, do you? :) ” alternately: “people like shigaraki and stain actually make excellent observations about hero society and flaws that canonically exist, but they’re also murderous maniacs who are just using ideology as an excuse! perhaps those people who say blue lives don’t matter just secretly want a reason to kill, huh? makes u think.” the choice to make these characters irrational and murderous is a deliberate one; the creators choose to take this route, rather than giving those characters a revolutionary politics that’s conscientious, thoughtful, and rooted in empathy, because then their ideas would actually be sympathetic. capitalists want to avoid that at all costs!

so to finally answer your question: are they leftists? no. they’re a boogeyman of leftists. they’re leftists as characterized by people who fear leftists. and if you look at the kind of rhetoric used by anti-leftists, you’ll see that this is true, because they touch upon the exact same points: “change too fast will just make people oppose you!” & “wanting to kill billionaires makes you just as bad as hitler (i.e. a genocidal maniac)!” & just refer to the entire black book of communism, which consists of fabrications, exaggerations, and twisted truths for the purpose of making communist efforts seem as murderous as possible. where can you look in our society that doesn’t seem to view leftists, to some degree, as villainous, whether as entitled children who want things handed to us on a silver platter or as a red army prepared to send any random person (and their friends and family and children!!) to the gulags?

so, yes—we might reject the politics of bnha villains if we judge them strictly through canonically-provided information, but at the same time we can (and probably should) expand our frame of reference to include the creator themselves, their intentions, and their biases. if we consider all this, then i think it’s easier to understand why there are leftists who enjoy and joke about the lov (or idk! maybe it’s just my dumb ass! i don’t think leftists care about bnha actually :( ). anyways, it’s less about what the bnha villains actually are than what they represent, and what characters like killmonger or magneto or poison ivy also represent: fear of the left being sold as propaganda which makes us out to be scary, cruel, ruthless villains.

[thecoppercow]

From the same crack (haha) theory that brought you: “why Sam Vimes might have voted for Brexit**”, comes the equally deliberately stupid sequel; “why Vetinari is actually on coke all the time”.

In this TED talk, I will,

...No but seriously. (Not actually serious, please treat this with all the no-respect a literally crack theory deserves, no part of this is meant to be believable):

Never ever sleeps willingly unless actually coshed on the head or in a submarine in Jingo (at a point where presumably his supply had run out or something, idk)?

Painfully thin.

Terrifyingly effective at just powering through things, including pain from bullets and work.

Has far more energy than he should considering he never eats. You know when people go on about high powered jobs, and how they can’t believe executives are all-go, all the time.

Weirdly manic at times, then lapses into quiet, moody contemplative moments...

...Contemplative moments where he mainly just talks weird stuff at poor Drumknott.

Jumps clean over desks at the end of Jingo for no reason than to make a Point to Vimes, a moment that still doesn’t make sense to me, unless he just fancied jumping around.

See also: that weird chat about drugs in Thud.

And in Unseen Academicals, where the drink affects him none even though he’s practically teetotal... clearly he’s used to stronger stuff, right (I know this isn’t how mixing drink and drugs works, but I’m mainly just going with this for comic affect, go with me)

Seriously, poor Drumknott had to put up with a LOT of weird moments

He’s posh, and presumably rich, and what else is he meant to do with all that money?

He’s a politician that’s p clearly meant to be an amalgum of all the more cunning characters of history, the ones who enacted reforms aimed at stabilising their countries. Some of whom were definitely of the work hard... party hard in order to work harder ethic.

Some of the books are also canonically a pisstake of the 90s, and like... EVERYONE was on coke in the 90s.

He scales buildings and does frankly nonsensical stuff despite *starting* the series at the age of 40 and ending it in his 50s. (That is if you assume he’s the same age as Vimes, and calculating back from Young Sam’s age here.)

He clearly doesn’t have a time-turner or any hidden magic, because that defeats the point of the character, so it’d just be funny for all concerned if they assumed he’d made a pact with some demon or something, and was this cold and unstoppable mastermind, when in reality it was just coke.

The entire monologue about the balloon animals, and in fact anything he does or says to Lipwig, including the ‘let’s reform someone by nearly hanging them and then making them run a Post Office’. Come on.

 ** I really Don’t believe this one either, this was a JOKE, please no one actually question this or worry about it because I’ll start crying, it doesn’t work as a joke any more because everything is literally on fire:

**(I initially did jokingly come up with ‘heh Vimes voted for Brexit lol’ partly as a way to annoy my UK politico friends, and partly as a look at class in Discworld. However, this was back when Brexit still looked like it wasn’t going to happen, and we could still get some kind of gallows humour out of the situation, unlike now, when the entire situation is ...still hilarious, but all we can do is start wincing and screaming whenever anyone mentions the B-word.)

In any case, I do stand by the idea that Vimes is more socially conservative than some would like - all anti-inequality, but still pro-capital punishment, for example - but I don’t really think the character makes sense to have voted so, just as Vetinari probably isn’t on hard drugs. No one shoot me.

Basically, my point about class was that Discworld’s both universal but also a uniquely British series, and class is the most British of comedic obsessions, which gets left out of a lot of US readings of it, where they concentrate solely on the race stuff/prejudice against vampires aspect. So while imo Vetinari could be cast as a politician of colour - and it would be cool if someone explored that, the idea that if we assume Madame Meserole hailed from Genua or had ‘mysterious origins’, her sister presumably did too - his father might be a member of the ancient noble family that we never see or hear from again after Sourcery, but somewhere in his lineage there’s something that causes Lady Selachii to refer to him as a “jumped up little man” - Vimes in my mind (having grown up in London in the 90s) was definitely an expy of the ‘forgotten’ British white working class, left behind while well-meaning and then successively less-well-meaning governments concentrated their arguments elsewhere. The idea was that Cockbill Street is your neglected slum, and the series is basically Vimes realising he’s been concentrating his prejudices against vampires and trolls and others, while not turning his ire on the actual source of injustice. But you know, this discussion was back when we still had hope for the world and weren’t just endlessly wailing, so.

[propshophannah]

Hi, so I’m not super sure what I’m trying to say but I’m feeling down abt some manorian posts I saw. It’s prob really dumb but I get like upset/sad when blogs I like a lot love everything SJM but then say they’re anti one of her ships. I’ve criticized SJM’s writing & there r ships I don’t particularly like...but I’d never say I was anti one of her ships? Idk. Maybe I’m just confused/sad abt why ppl who love SJM choose that word when it carries a lot of baggage in fandoms. idk. I was just 1/2

feeling kinda sad about it. I also saw ppl I respect a lot saying manorian isn’t a ship cuz they don’t say I love you/show PDA/only have sex. I was just…really hurt by that? It felt like they were saying ppl had to act a certain way for their feelings or relationships to be valid. I don’t think they meant to be offensive(?) they just didn’t realize they were marginalizing a lot of ppl & cultures that show affection differently. idk. It made me really sad & I’m not sure what to do. 2/2

—

Hi Nonnie, I’m sorry it took me so long to get to this ask and I’m sorry you’re feeling sad and confused. I want you to know that what you’ve brought up here is not dumb. Your feelings are valid and important! I’ll try to address your ask as best I can.

About fandom use of the term anti.

You are not alone in finding this odd or discouraging. I’ve seen stuff like this from time to time on “pro” blogs and found myself thinking the same exact thing. I’ve had a lot of conversations with people about it, too. It does seem like there could be a better way to phrase ship criticism or dislike of something other than to use the word anti because you’re right, it does carry a lot of baggage.

To play the devil’s advocate, I think it’s really important to remember that context is key. Just because a fandom blog you love says they’re “anti” something doesn’t mean they’re using the term in the same way Official Anti Blogs use it. (As I write this, I’m wondering if I’ve ever used it to express dislike, not realizing how it could come across!) It could be a joke you’re not in on, or phrasing used because the blogger was rage posting (we’ve all been there) and that was the phrase that validated their feelings in that moment, or it could be that they used that phrase without thinking about how it might come off to their followers.

Have you tried asking the blogger about it? Maybe just send a quick note about how it made you feel. They might not realize how it comes off. This could give you an opportunity to feel as though you’ve been heard and it would allow the blogger the opportunity to explain why they chose that phrase. I think you should ask them, Nonnie! Just because there are a lot of reasons someone might choose that phrase that don’t necessarily mean they are against SJM, or only pro the things they like about her writing and against everything else.

Now that’s not to say that a blog can’t be pro SJM and still be anti something about her books or (as you said) criticize her work. And if that’s the phrase they choose to use then there isn’t much we can do about it. We can’t change other people, but we can change ourselves. So maybe, you don’t follow that blog anymore, or you remind yourself that they’re still a great blog, but one you disagree with on word choice and topics.

About PDA and relationship validation.

I actually love that you brought this up because this is a conversation I’ve been having a LOT lately. There have been a handful of posts or comments on posts lately where things like PDA etc. were used to lessen or invalidate Manon and Dorian’s relationship and it just left an icky feeling with a lot of people.

I should be VERY clear here. I DO NOT think the people who use PDA as an argument for invalidating a ship realize they’re marginalizing people, or are being offensive when they do this. I think it’s more that they’ve just never been in a position where they were asked to think about it that way. The normative category is by definition ignorant of itself, right? Like, even I had a hard time figuring out why some of these arguments left a bad taste in my mouth, and it wasn’t until after I’d talked to a few people that I was able to really figure it out.

But you’re right! Not everyone expresses affection by exhibiting normative displays of romantic love (such as hand holding, cuddling, kissing etc.). Some people aren’t capable of those things, don’t like those things, or they just choose to express affection differently (maybe by validating someone’s feelings, keeping them safe, being present, providing for them in small ways like making dinner or folding their person’s laundry etc.).

And I think the best/most relevant point you make, is that some people don’t come from cultures that normalize PDA. Western cultures show affection VERY differently than Eastern cultures.

Recently I watched a CNN special on Japan that talked a lot about this idea of “sexlessness” and how culturally the Japanese don’t show a lot of affection, specifically touch affection (hugs, kisses, hand holding after marriage etc.). It was fascinating and I’d argue that the idea of cultural differences TOTALLY APPLIES to the Ironteeth in ToG. We don’t know a lot about their culture, but we do know that affection in any form is frowned upon and discouraged. So if we consider how Manon grew up thinking she was incapable of love/displaying loving or kind emotions (and subsequently beaten/abused for displayed them) it’s not hard at all to see how it would take her a lot of time (and deprogramming) to be able to show and express those kinds of emotions.

This is her ENTIRE character arc, right? From the very moment she appeared on page, she told us how heartless she was, while simultaneously showing us how heartless she was not. (I mean, helloOoOo Abraxos!) Her first “I love you” always belonged to him. But she didn’t need to say it for us to know she loved him. It was there the whole time in her actions. Same with the Thirteen. Manon loved them dearly. They were her sisters, her family. And just because she never told them “I love you” doesn’t mean she didn’t love them. I have plenty of friends whom I love very deeply who I’ve never said I love you to. I likewise have lots of friends who I have said it to. Also, it’s easier to tell a pet/animal that we love them rather than risk saying it to a person, right? Animals aren’t going to judge or reject you—or even verbally respond. Therefore, it’s a low risk endeavor. (Not to say I think this is the only reason she said it to Abraxos!)

My partner and I are not into PDA. At all. Sometimes, if we’re in a group of close friends or family I may be more into showing touch affection, but usually we save those moments for private. There have been MANY times when we’ve been out and people have hit on my partner because they honestly don’t know we’re together. And I don’t get mad/jealous or physically stake a claim or anything when this happens. I let my partner handle it. We just aren’t into sharing our intimate moments with other people. It’s for us only.

So I totally understand how an argument based on PDA can be really hurtful or potentially offensive. Especially when the argument ignores the great moments of communication we get with manorian. As if communication is less important to relationships than PDA…

I also see nothing wrong with casual sex, though I don’t see manorian as having had casual sex (even before the “stay” scene where they clearly did more than just sex). I think they both talk a big game about how the sex didn’t mean anything, but if that were true then why wouldn’t Dorian pursue Vesta? Why would the idea of Dorian with another person make Manon jealous? I feel like they both wanted to pretend like The Sex didn’t mean anything, but I read two people, who weren’t able to verbalize their feelings for one another, finding a shared safe space that was free of responsibilities and the horrors of war where they could be with one another and express their feelings the only way they could at that moment in time. (Which is another reason the “stay” scene stands out.)

TL;DR

A good friend of mine is not monogamous at all. She’s in a relationship with a married man (who’s in an open relationship with his wife). They’re bf and gf and she tells me how they say I love you to one another, take trips together, have AMAZING sex, he writes her the most beautiful love letters, they go on dates—they do EVERYTHING couples do. Except he’s married and they’re both sleeping with other people.

And sometimes it’s HARD for me to figure out where to put this in my brain because I grew up with a specific set of parameters that defined what a relationship was supposed to look like. Sometimes I get confused about how he also loves his wife, sometimes I get confused about how my friend knows their relationship is real. Like it’s hard because it challenges societal expectations of what relationships look like.

I think that happens sometimes with ships in books—or with anything in life that we don’t understand. When something is different than what we expect or are used to, it can kind of…blind us to what’s there. If it still bothers you, Nonnie, you could try explaining your side to these people and start a dialogue? It might actually be really helpful for you and them! Give it a try and let me know!

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

What I assume Yugioh is about based on having seen like less than 20 episodes of it

Because I used to do this every time I started reading a new Jojo part, just to see how much I got right and how much I got wrong. I don’t think anything will ever top “Rohan Kishibe is a high schooler who draws Chris Hart-esque anime art and thinks he’s a pro mangaka and his stand, Killer Queens, is made of bees, but maybe this will at least be slightly amusing. (Also I know it’s kinda late for this but listen, they still haven’t even gotten to Yami’s backstory, I still have genuinely no fucking clue what the actual overall plot of Yugioh is)

Anyway so here are the characters

Yuugi Mutotutotototuto

No for real tho is it Moto or Mutou someone explain this to me please

Looks like he’s 10 but is actually 15 and very short, which is relatable

Sunshine goth

MY SON NOW.

So fucking nice and good and loves his friends

I think uh... I think he’s like mixed race and that’s why his hair is like that? Not that that makes literally any sense whatsoever but I feel like I remember someone saying something like that

I think he’s like the reincarnation of an ancient pharaoh, or maybe just his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-whatever-grandson

Was able to solve the Millennium Puzzle because of this and also probably because he’s good at games idk

The pure-hearted chosen one who can win every battle even if he’s at a disadvantage because he Believes in the Heart of the Cards. Still don’t know what the fuck that even means but I support him so much

Just a perfect boy

I’m willing to bet a large portion of the fandom thinks he’s a boring protagonist. I say this entirely based on the fact that he is a genuinely nice and optimistic person and god knows fandoms can’t handle characters who aren’t assholes

If you talk shit about Yugi I will show up at your house and eat all of your Yugioh cards. This is non-negotiable

Yami Yugi

The ghost of a pharaoh who was just Really Good At Games and maybe some sort of god or something idk. But I guess maybe he has amnesia?

His real name is Atem but nobody calls him that

Also my son now I love him so much I would die for him thanks

Anyway he lives in the Millennium Puzzle and occasionally possesses Yugi’s body and SOMEHOW this completely changes Yugi’s eye shape, makes his hair even MORE complicated and also makes him taller.

A fucking sadistic bitch

But like a good one though. Like I think he’s a good guy, he just needs to learn to Chill The Fuck Out For Once In His Goddamn Life. It’s ok though Yugi will teach him about the power of friendship and then it’ll be fine

Apparently kills people in the manga, which I guess would make him my legally allotted one (1) irredeemable murderboy I’m allowed to stan

Died tragically and violently after he... uh... he uh... he got framed for cheating at go? Anyway so that’s why his ghost lives in the Millennium Puzzle because I guess maybe he wants revenge or something??

In the most bizarre anti-bullying aesop I have EVER seen, whenever someone wrongs Yuugi or his friends Yami will show up and completely fucking eviscerate them

Just loves games so much, doesn’t matter what game it is or who he’s playing with or why, he will play any game anywhere anytime and will probably send someone into a coma in the process

In conclusion I’d die for him thanks for coming to my TED talk

Seto Kaiba

The antagonist, I guess

Had green hair but then they took it away. Why did they do that

Very mean, I do not like him. I guess he probably has a tragic backstory and Is Actually A Nice Guy Deep Down™ but I still don’t like him

Like a bazillionaire because he owns Kaibacorp. I have no idea what they do. Maybe they manufacture duel disks? Which are like these things you wear on your arm so you can put cards on it. Like a little table for your arm. I don’t know why this is necessary or special but everyone has one

Obsessed with Yami because he is So Good At Games that Kaiba thinks he’s his true rival or some shit idek

Technically could be compared to Akira Touya but I don’t want to because Akira is a very nice and good boy and Kaiba is at best an Ochi

Joey Jounouchi

Yugi’s bff and for some reason the only one of the Crewgi I ever hear anything about so I’m just going to assume this means he is plot relevant somehow

He is the delinquent who picks up stray kittens in the rain

Looks like an asshole but actually a decent dude

Has the exact same fucking backstory as Dio Brando, but like, isn’t an absolute garbage boy, unlike Dio

Was in a gang when he was a kid, a gang with yo-yos. Except in the manga it wasn’t yo-yos, I forgot what it was. Knives? Or maybe hockey sticks? Maybe hockey sticks with knives taped to them??

Trying his best

Chadhotep

That isn’t his real name. I forgot what his real name is. I tried really hard to remember it but I couldn’t so now his name is Chadhotep

An Egyptian priest, not sure if he’s somebody’s reincarnation or immortal or a time traveler or just a regular guy who has Been Doing This For Generations

Has the Millennium Key, which presumably goes to the Millennium Lock and grants the user the power of fucking Shugo Chara whatever

Not really sure who’s side he’s on tbh

I feel like... he’s what Avdol could have been if Araki had gone more for the “badass pyromancer Egyptian fortune teller” thing like he had in chapter 1 instead of him being a constantly distressed mom friend. Not that this is a criticism of Avdol!! I love Avdol so much, he’s perfect, however I feel like Chadhotep could be like... an alternate Avdol I guess

I think he’s like Knuckles but instead of guarding the Master Emerald he guards the Millennium Items?

Haven’t actually seen him in like 10 episodes since Yami like... fuckin... imprisoned him in his mind palace for all eternity or some shit, is he ok?

Mokona Modoki

Kaiba’s little brother?????????

How

I guess he has like an Emporio Alniño thing going on?

Why is he here. He’s a child. Tell him to go home

I bet he’s supposed to be like 5 and speaks like a 15 year old because nobody knows how to write kids. That or he only looks like he’s 5 and is actually like 14

I don’t know anything about him but Kaiba is a bad role model

Thief King Bakura

I don’t actually know much about this guy because he hasn’t showed up yet but I think he’s the other antagonist?

Presumably the ghost of Yami’s ancient political rival, lives in the... what even is that. The fucking like. The Millennium Tambourine I guess

You know in Death Note when it’s revealed that there’s a whole orphanage full of L clones training to become the next Batman or whatever? He looks like he escaped from there

Presumably wants to steal all the Millennium Items so he can summon Shenron or vore god or some shit. I don’t actually know what all the others are but I’m going to assume there are 7 in total because that’s how magic item sets in anime work

Ok I know I made a Knuckles joke already but this dude legit looks more like a Sonic character than absolutely anyone else so far

And that’s everything I know about Yugioh, thanks. In case it isn’t obvious I took benadryl today and I haven’t been more than 60% awake since then