#this is more formatted like 'an au I will never write' kinda thing

[terrainofheartfelt]

a thing about me is I WILL find a way to make sure any career Nate has is about working with kids

[the-orange-tabby-cat]

The Renegade

joel miller x fem!reader

Summary of the fic: This is why I’m writing to you, Tess. Do you see how much trouble am I? How unstable and not anywhere good for him? I can’t fall in love with him and he can’t get closer, I’m a weak bitch: I’m gonna fall for him if you don’t help me. I walked too many meters of bad decisions before, I can’t cross another ocean. You are my only hope, The renegade - Your parents ask you to try seeing a therapist, Tess, and you agree under one condition: she can't let you fall in love with Joel Miller. A fic in the format of letters, from you to Tess. 🐾

read on AO3 | masterlist | next chapter

Warnings/tags: Explict +18, no outbreak AU, slow burn, fluff, smut, kinda loser reader? lol, implied age gap, coming of age, no use of y/n

Word count of the prologue + chapter 1: 6,4k

Tabby note: This will be a quick fic, I promise! I needed to take it off my head, it was clogging everything else at this point lol I really wanted an anti-hero protagonist instead of the usual good girls I write. She is messy and adorable at the same time, I'm really proud of how the story is taking shape! Hope you like it!

PROLOGUE

Austin, July 2024

Dear Tess,

You said I could write you in any format as long I’m true to what I’m putting out. That’s some therapist bullshit, but since it’s you reading this mess, I will let it slide. I thought a lot about what to write down for you, not the usual overthinking, more of a “where do I begin?”. Remember, you were the one who told me to write this if I can’t say out loud what it is inside my head while we are in session. This shit is hard, okay?

Let me start by being the smartpants I used to be: the human brain processes a thought faster than one meter per second. If I put together all the meters my brain ran while getting bad ideas, I could now cross the Atlantic Ocean.

Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents told you to avoid certain people? That strange feeling you get when you see a trainwreck of a person, the one that didn’t exactly do something bad, they just are stuck somewhere out of this reality and you think to yourself “I would never get in that position”? 

I did get in that position. I’m stuck in that somewhere. For years now.

Wish I could tell you that something horrible happened to me when I was younger, that my mother crushed all my dreams and my dad left one day to buy a pack of cigarettes. What about a strict family or an over-the-top religious one where I’m one of ten kids? Not even close to the truth, I’m an only daughter.

Middle middle class: enough money to live more than comfortably, far from the luscious lifestyle of the riches. I grew up knowing money didn’t come from the trees, I touched some grass, okay? The only thing expected by my kinda-aristocrat parents was that I would achieve academic success prior to a life full of achievements.

Chess competitions, spelling bee trophies (if I make a mistake a few pages down, it’s been a while since it), debate club captain, swimming team… You name it and I did. At seventeen I was voted as “most likely to be successful” and second place for homecoming queen because slutty Katie gave the basketball team a sloppy blowjob after practice. I had a first kiss and gave one bad handjob under the bleachers by that age.

Then university came and nobody, no fucking body, got wowed when I got an Ivy League on my first try. My head was too shoved up my ass to notice life around me. I wasn’t a pretty girl anymore because girls in my class were prettier than me, wasn’t the smartest since I wasn’t a teacher’s pet by just existing. 

My classmates didn’t care for me because I had no clue about social etiquette: what alcohol is acceptable to bring to a frat party? How do you pick up guys and let them suck on your tongue? Do you stay inside your dorm room when your roommate is fucking or do you wait outside?

I could do it with being the awkward girl, but not with being less than perfect. By the second semester, I was crying every day in the shower and realized I had no friends, just people who had the same interests as me back home. I tried so hard to become the number one in my class that life became hell the second my teacher gave me a lower score on a significant test.

I left her class and instead of crying, calling my parents to vent, or any other shit, I walked by the first frat house I saw and decided to lose my v card there with any guy that looked remotely cute. 

Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be a slut if I hadn’t had a penis inside me yet, but I knew that something was boiling up for years. My hand sneaking under my panties after a tiring day, humping on my pillow whenever I got frustrated, even the shoulder massager I got for after swimming practice humming on my clit did it. All I needed was a chance to forget for a moment the hell that was my life.

And I did. A sand blond guy with a shark smile that would fuck anything that moved in his direction, clearly a rich bitch whose parents got his spot in the university. I walked in his direction and took my panties off, put them in his hand, and the next thing I saw he was deep inside of me while I hopped him vigorously.

I cummed so hard that I think saw Jesus, whatever he might be. Not that the guy made me cum, I had an itch for so long that any scratch would do it. Any. After coming down my high it was clear in my mind: I would do anything that I didn’t do before.

Drink until pass out, rob beer from the liquor store, fuck my roommate's hot dad, cheat on a test. Nothing was out of limits. Well, I still had to finish university and never use drugs because that was a hard no for me.

You see, Tess, I’m so good at keeping my promises to other people and ignoring my own needs that I did finish university. Graduated with an honor badge and everything, my parents' wet dream. Except they no longer knew me and had no clue that I spent four years whoring myself and doing everything to ignore who I used to be.

And this is why on my first day in a big company, a trainee job earned right after college, I vomited inside the bathroom stall during onboarding. A panic attack a week later when my leader delegated some tasks. You give me a few months and my mind went blank the second I started a presentation to the c level board. I ran so fast outside that I fell on the sidewalk, got up, called for a cab, and never came back.

It’s been years since it.

My parents came to you because they still have some hope. I don’t, I think they are being dumb. Yes, I have an Ivy League degree, a bunch of useless skills (except for Mandarin, I can read so fast the menu at a Chinese restaurant) but nothing to do with when I WON’T come back to who I used to be. Do you think I sound miserable now? I’m miserable but I’m free in my kitchenette downtown, with my band t-shirts and two jobs. Living the dream.

Of course I’m fucking lying to you. I hate my life because the bitch running it is so dumb (that’s me, by the way).

It used to be kinda cool. The day I ran from the office was the same day I went straight to the arcade and played Mortal Kombat II so much that I broke the machine’s record. I went there for a full week before the manager, an emo guy looking like a teenager, decided to hire me.

It wasn’t enough to pay for my fancy downtown apartment, the one that got furniture that didn’t come from IKEA, so I had to move to the shithole I’m now. A mini studio in a building so old that if the city trembles, I’m sure that I will be turning into dust.

Years in this life, day after day, and I wasn’t mad about it. I was free, after all. It took about two years for my parents to find out that I wasn’t the prodigious child anymore and they took better than I expected. My mom cried, cursed my name, and asked if someone hurt me but I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was the one who caused it.

Anyway, you already know this stuff. They told you their side of the story when letting you know that I would be your new patient. What exactly have they told you? About how I never introduced them to a guy and my dad had a very straightforward conversation with me about why lesbians were cool and he would accept me if I was one? Maybe they told you about how I got so drunk one Christmas that end up peeing on the petunias in the neighbor’s yard and my mom thought it was a good idea to tell them I was heavily sedated from a fear of flying? Nobody said it was easy to be an only child.

What you don’t know is that I have a love life, you are welcome. For years I’ve been sleeping around with a married man. I know, I know, shocking! Scandalous! His name is Peter and he is dumb as a door. But the dick is good and he sometimes treats me like a real person. I met him at a bar, gave him a blowjob in the back alley (Katie would be proud) and we see each other every week since.

Remember when I said my family isn’t religious? Thank god because that’s not everything. I have a boyfriend, a real one. It was a scorching day, the AC wasn’t working and I had to put the neckline out a bit before becoming a puddle. That’s when I see him, playing with his friends, having fun, being so fucking broad and handsome… I had to taste it.

Flirted a bit and boom, got him at the back door pumping deep inside of me while I was sitting on a desk. He was amazing, he was making me gooey to the point of screaming in pleasure. Too good to be true, when he was about to come I saw the little golden cross pending from his neck.

The next day he came back, told me how sorry he was, and asked me for an opportunity to show me how good he could be. I thought he wanted a second round, but nope, he wanted me to meet Jesus. I’m a people pleaser, Tess. It has been four months since I’m Mormon Isaac’s girlfriend. Every Sunday I attend the sermon, his family knows me and I haven’t slept with him since that first day. It marks also the four months I’m trying to break up with him.

You must think that I ain’t a good person and you are right, I’m not. Not the worst, but for sure not a fucking saint. I don’t come back in my decisions, anyone else with less brain would, but not me. I’m too stubborn to deal with the hell I made of my own life. Or used to, because now I’m head over heels for this guy, Tess.

Joel Miller. The stupid hunk who is older, wiser, and hot. Who I can’t stop thinking about since we met. Damn his pretty brown eyes and how they look into my soul. I’m a mess and I need some help dealing with it before he gets into my trap and I destroy him.

This is why I’m writing to you, Tess. Do you see how much trouble am I? How unstable and not anywhere good for him? I can’t fall in love with him and he can’t get closer, I’m a weak bitch: I’m gonna fall for him if you don’t help me. I walked too many meters of bad decisions before, I can’t cross another ocean.

You are my only hope,

The renegade

P.S. I won’t pay you shit, hope my parents paid you enough for this.

CHAPTER ONE

Austin, July 2024

Dear Tess,

Yes, I'm doing well, thank you for your concern, guess the rambling in my last letter got you worried about me. It’s a skill, I’m very good at making people worry. I'm marvelous, splendid, and well, fucked. By our last session, you asked me more details of how I ended up meeting Joel and I said to you “a lady never tells” and you didn't laugh, tough crowd. Let me paint you a picture then.

There are many regulars at the arcade. The asians dudes that go there after Kumon (been there, done that, I feel so sorry for them), the lone wolves of 40+ that still want to feel young since they can't get any pussy and, my favorites, the after-school reruns.

These little fuckers go there every week to burn some steam from their sugary-inflicted bodies, stay until 4 pm and go straight to their houses, to their mom and dad. I'm not bitter, I just hate teenagers.

I'm aware that it sounds like I'm on the wrong career path since they keep my economy going, but fuck it, teenagers give me the creeps. Except for the queers, they are quite nice. I have a baby lesbian (it’s pretty obvious) that I call 3 pm because she comes by this time twice a week, Ellie.

She is probably fifteen or so and everything I wasn't at her age. Firecracker, bossy with a dirty mouth – did I ever tell you that the first time I said “fuck” in front of my parents was after my meltdown? You can guess it. One of the only teenagers I got close to if I'm honest. She came by one afternoon, saw Mortal Kombat II, and hasn't left since.

“Who's The Renegade?” She asked me one time, checking out the scoreboard with disgust. Remember I beat the machine record? She was right after me.

“No clue, try harder.” I teased her thinking she wouldn't care and move on with her life, like people do.

But not Ellie, she tried really hard to break the fucking record. Week after week, I watched her trying her best from my glass display while wearing the ugly bowling striped shirt that is my uniform.

I saw him way before he saw me. Doing my regular afternoon routine, cleaning the games with some rubbing alcohol to avoid the sticky hands infecting everywhere, minding my business under the neon light. All good, until I saw broad shoulders (I have a type, okay? Sue me) playing the fucking Mortal Kombat II with Ellie by his side.

Broad, so fucking broad. Dark curls with some gray here and there adorning his ears. I must have made some noise because for a second he looked back and that nose? Yeah, that was the end of me.

“You were close, old man,” Ellie teased as the fight on screen got to an end. He glared at her before looking at his score. “Nah, you're full of shit. Not even close to me or The Renegade.”

“Yeah, if I was spending that much time here I would be second place too,” he groaned before gaining full height. That voice gave me chills as I pretended I haven't heard shit, trying to not sneak a look and failing every time.

And that was it, Tess. Not exactly your meet cute, sorry. He came back maybe three or four times, always polite, nothing else. I thought it would be a silent crush, a small one until I got bored. I’m constantly bored.

My second job is a little less orthodox, if you can call my first one that. A girl has to do what she has to to get that bag. On Christmas, I’m the Santa helper with a mini skirt and sweet smiles (you can imagine how many times I picked up desperate dads like that), by Easter, I’m your lucky bunny hopping around in white hot pants, when Thanksgiving is around the corner I’m the sluttiest turkey you ever saw. 

The mall manager pays me double because I let him once see my boobs and the poor guy is so lonely that he is more than sure that we will sleep together at some point.

“A vest with “can I help you?” tagline? Where is the skanky clothes?” I asked him one Saturday morning, thinking he made a mistake giving me the day costume.

“We’re getting more boomers and older visitors, we need someone to stay in a good floor spot and answer their questions,” he told me in a boring tone, the sadness in his eyes always a classic.

“Okay, if they ask me questions, what do I do? I don’t know shit about this mall except that you can buy powder by the public telephones and shouldn’t use the ladies bathroom on the second floor, that’s where Nora from Chipotle goes and that woman’s ass is rancid.” He furrowed his brows and dragged his hand on his face, taking his time to process what I had just said.

“Just be nice and bring them to someone who will be helpful, maybe a security guard, I don’t know. And don’t use cocaine while on the job, I can’t deal with another junkie here,” he said reinforcing the vest on my hands and urging me to get out of the room.

Now would be a good time to remind you that I don’t use drugs, never did. I might be many things in this life, but not a stoner. Not because I’m prudish or think drugs are bad for you, even if they are. I’m way too afraid about getting hooked once I realize that the play-pretend reality that they induce in your brain is better than this one. I’m self-destructive, but not stupid.

So there I was, in my lime neon vest, above a small platform with a big dark blue “information” written. Thinking about anything you can imagine, my shift lasts six hours and I can’t sit down, just a fifteen-minute bathroom break. One of my worst nightmares is to be alone with the dumb bitch inside my head, that’s why I hate silence.

When was the last time you went to a mall? They used to be a big deal in my younger days, but now they are dead. It’s so fucking slow, just little packs of people here and there. Not even music playing to alleviate the tension between me and my stupid brain.

“Miss?” A small voice called, I looked to the sides and saw nobody,  so they insisted. “Miss?”

I looked down on the platform and to my surprise, a toddler with big brown eyes and curly hair was calling me. Hesitating for a second, I climbed down my platform and crouched to get my eyes the same height as his, I read once that kids get more comfortable like that.

“Hm, yeah?” I asked unsure of how one talks with kids, shouldn’t he be there with an adult?

“I can’t find my uncle,” the poor kid was on the verge of tears, making me panic.

“Okay, let’s find him,” I said with very little confidence, unsure how to approach it.

Before I could think about what I would do, his hand found a place in mine, holding me like an anchor. I decided to go to the nearest security guard and hope for the best, one thing was to be a failure by myself and another was to fail a little kid.

We walked for about five minutes, the fucking mall had a small amount of guards. No fucking clue why nobody comes down there. The kid got a little tired of walking and held up his little arms, asking to be picked up.

I accepted it, letting him rest his head on my shoulder. Thinking about it now, as I write this to you, I can’t remember the last time somebody hugged me. We might need to talk about it in session.

“You tell me if you see him, okay? What does your uncle look like?” I asked still walking down the corridor, searching for the damn guard.

“Big, fluffy hair,” I laughed at how wholeheartedly the kid tried to answer it.

“Blue eyes? Dark hair?” He shook his head for the first one but nodded at the second.

Changing corridor, I saw from afar a big guy and a smaller figure talking with a guard and figured out it was the kid’s uncle. The man seemed agitated, speaking with his hands in the air. As I pressed my steps, the figures got more familiar. Made a signal for the kid, showing them when we were close enough and his face lightened up.

“Uncle Joel!” He shouted happily, as I put him down so he could run to the tall man.

That’s how I found out his name. Simple, discrete, direct. Jo-el. Suits him.

He immediately hugged the boy, kissing the top of his head. Ellie was at the side getting color back on her face, unshed tears in her eyes when she noticed me.

“I know you,” she started and I panicked a little. I don’t know why, I wasn’t doing anything weird, but something about breaking their bubble made me uncomfortable.

Joel looked up from his nephew’s face and furrowed his brows, not in a “who the fuck are you?” kinda way, more of a “wait, I do know you too”.

“Hm, yeah, I work at the arcade down the block,” I said in a monotone, looking into Ellie’s eyes, ignoring Joel’s.

“Are you safe? All good?” Joel asked in a soft tone, much softer than I imagined a man like him could do, to the kid.

“Yes,” the toddler replied searching for my hand again. My eyes got to the size of the moon, unaware of how to react.

“Thank you for helping him, we were about to lose our heads searching for him everywhere.” Joel gave me puppy eyes in his dearest manners and every inch of my body heated as he got up, gaining his tall size. 

A grown, big man being soft on the edges? The hottest thing I’ve seen and I fucked once Mormon Isaac.

I was ready to get back to my platform when Ellie shared stares with Joel, a language I hadn’t properly been introduced to in my formal education, but I think I can decipher:

Ellie looking straight, then bringing her eyebrows up - say something, Joel

Joel furrowing his heavy eyebrows and pouting a little, before looking towards the exit - no, let’s go home

Ellie rolling eyes and siding it in my direction real quick - she is right here, do something

Joel setting his jaw and looking directly at Ellie - I said no, let’s go home

Ellie narrowing her eyes and then nodding to the toddler - how did we got him back?

Joel glancing at his nephew, Ellie, and me before pouting a little bigger - okay, fine, you’re so annoying

Mind you I’m not a linguist in any way, I might have translated something wrong since I’m not fluent and the whole scene lasted no more than two seconds. I was highly confused when he put his hand on the toddler’s shoulder (mind you, who was still holding my hand) and cleared his throat.

“Are you hungry? It would be a pleasure having you with us,” he proposed in his most southern polite voice. I laughed a little, stupid bitch.

“That’s not… Necessary. Really. It’s okay!” I replied quickly, awkwardly trying to walk back. The kid’s hand grip got stronger.

“C’mon, stay. It’s the minimum I can do,” Joel insisted with another puppy eye.

“I used to g-get lost too, in the mall, you know? It’s okay! It’s just a full circle moment, but thank you!” I lied.

I was a prodigious child, way too smart for my age, and for sure not roaming around in a suburban mall. My parents weren’t strict, but they had a very clear vision of what was cool and what was trashy. Read in my room, go to museums and cinema exhibitions of foreign movies that I was able to watch without the subtitles? Hot and cool. Go to the mall, watch blockbuster movies, and eat a burger at the food court? Suburban and trashy. I got lost once at a library, though.

“He won’t stop giving you the puppy eye until you accept, c’mon,” Ellie replied gaining a double glare from me and Joel, who – in all truth – was still giving me puppy eyes.

“Some pizza wouldn’t hurt,” I said with an awkward lopsided smile. 

The duo stared at each other again, now that I had more familiarity with the language I think I can get better translations:

Ellie shotting up her eyebrows and inclining her head towards the front of her body - told ya, old man

Joel sighing before eyeing the food court direction - lead the way, brat

“Let’s go, Luke,” Ellie grabbed the kid’s hand from mine and started to walk.

“One sec,” I said before taking off my vest and placing it in the security guard’s hand, who looked at me puzzled. I would find a way out of trouble with the manager later on. “Okay, all good!”

“So… The arcade and the mall, you must be good with teenagers,” Joel started nodding in Ellie’s direction. He said in such a genuine matter that it took me back, not a single harsh reply in my brain.

“Not really, it’s more of a coincidence. I try to avoid them a little, though. They could shatter me with one comment.” I laughed a little, trying to break the awkwardness between us. He smirked a bit.

“I get it, Ellie likes to remind me that I’m no longer hip. Do people still use this word?” He asked chewing his cheek and I chuckled.

“I’m not sure. Maybe no? We are very much 20th-century material,” he smiled. 

Do I like to think it was because I hinted that I was old enough to drink, so old enough to fuck him? Yes. But I regretted it the moment that thought appeared in my head.

Don’t get me wrong Tess, even if I’m a slut I wasn’t trying to fuck Joel Miller when we got alone. It’s more of an old habit, a second skin. When I got the conclusion men were little needy bitches, I got laid often.

You pretend to be stupid and praise them on their big brain. Maybe they prefer it when you are a hopeless girl who needs a strong man to solve something that your small body can’t. Or, the classic, they just want a shy girl who has no idea of how pretty she is and is more than grateful that he is there to show her.

Men are simple creatures. The more you make yourself smaller and dumber, the more they want you. Nobody wants an opinionated woman who knows her worth, that isn’t sexy. It’s a sin being a woman who is not sexy all the time.

Something inside of me knew Joel wasn’t trying to pick me up. He was just an older guy with a life set and a family of his own, he wanted to be nice to the girl who helped his nephew.

“Your nephew is a sweet kid, very affectionate,” I said in a genuine tone, trying to clear a bit of my head.

“A good kid too, smart for his age. He will be three in a couple of days,” Joel's face lightened up talking about the toddler. I wondered if someone’s face ever got so bright thinking of me.

“Growing up fast?” I asked trying to keep up, I don’t much about raising kids except that parents feel like everything is way too fast.

“Yes, but there is a long way until he becomes a petulant teenager like Ellie,” he joked with tenderness.

“She is cool, just the right amount of sassy in her bones. Her friends too, they are well-behaved down the arcade,” I said thinking about the times I saw her with other weird teenagers there.

“Really? Good to know her friends treat her well, she needs that,” he replied quickly. I lost him for a second and couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

“Why?” Could I sugarcoat my curiosity a bit? Of course, but my initial awkwardness was opening space for a comfortable conversation and I’m bad at calculating risk.

“We just moved, right before the school year. I’m from Austin, but Ellie no, she is from Boston. We lived there for a few years before moving back. Is tough to be the new kid, you know.”

The soft around the edges came back. I started to wonder how I never noticed Ellie’s accent, but it made sense.

“And why did you come back? Work?” I asked, again, without thinking further. Joel scratched his scruff while pondering how much detail he would give me.

“Boston got too heavy. Bad memories, you know? She needed a fresh start and I was missing the Texas sun.” My eyes searched for a ring on his hand for the first time, but there was nothing to see. Maybe a bad divorce? A widow?

“In that case, welcome home, cowboy,” I said mimicking holding a tip of a cowboy hat to him, who smiled a bit.

When we arrived at the food court, we went straight to the only pizza option available, the fucking Pizza Hut. The mall is shitty, if you haven’t noticed it yet Tess.

Ellie ordered everyone’s pizza as if she were introducing us to a new, exotic cuisine. Joel got amused, looking at her adoringly while petting his nephew's curls. I allowed myself to imagine what if my weekends were filled with this domestic view, if I would be happy to live such a mundane life and got surprised when the response was positive.

“Will you finally tell me who The Renegade is?” Ellie joked with a hint of truth. Joel rolled his eyes in good fun.

“A lady never tells,” I winked at her and Joel grinned with a little laugh. You see Tess, when you make a joke this is how people react, not scribbling something down their therapist's notepad. Rude as fuck.

The pizza could be better, but the company was more than good. I found myself laughing at Ellie’s puns, making comments about the arcade regulars. Joel tried to make me laugh a few times too, like an old friend. I felt good, felt normal instead of the constant weight on my shoulders.

At some point during our little chit-chat, I furrowed my eyebrows.

“How did Luke get lost? You haven’t told me that.” I questioned both of them, Ellie’s cheeks got pink. Joel made a motion for her to speak.

“Joel went inside a store and asked me to wait a little with Luke, to keep an eye on him for a second while he got something. I know,” she looked into his eyes with a guilty stare, “that I must hold Luke’s hand whenever we’re in a public place. I didn’t, started to look into a window shop thinking he was by my side.”

“It’s okay, you were holding tight to his hand on our way here,” Joel assured her.

If that man couldn’t get any hotter, he didn’t hold the weight of her mistakes against her. I swear that I don’t have daddy issues, I might have a Peter Pan syndrome or shit like that, but my dad was quite nice for a stuck-up guy. I’m not comparing dads, I’m comparing how to deal with delicate hearts: in that couple of hours I got to know a little more of them, I saw how Joel didn’t hold Ellie back, tried to shape her into something he wanted. Even inside of my own body I can’t do that with myself, be this level of kind.

I think Joel got me when it crossed my mind that I could fuck up and, maybe, he would still like me. I wouldn’t be a bitch, a bad girl to him. I would be just a person who made a mistake and he would still be there. What if my main kink is to be loved?

He paid for the meal, of course, a southern gentleman. I said goodbye, hinting I would be there when Ellie decided to show up at the arcade and she replied with a “hell yeah”. They left and I sighed, so light as if I had a spa day, but nope, just a good time with nice people. I might be lonely.

In a snap of fingers, I met the mall manager who questioned me why I wasn’t at the platform. The weight of the world came back on my shoulders, I reasoned that I was tired and wanted to go home as fast as possible.

“A kid got lost and I went to help him find his family. I think the slutty outfit might be a better idea next time, this shit is too complex,” I said shrugging before flashing him again with my boobs for a few seconds.

What? I had a nice meal with a good family, but I’m still not a saint.

Anyway, life followed its course. Saw Ellie sometimes at the arcade, Joel would greet me by name whenever he was there to pick her up, all good and normal. I told you, this is not your meet-cute story.

If you are wondering, yes, I saw Mormon Isaac the next day after the missing kid incident. Holy Sunday, couldn’t skip.

I don’t have exactly a wardrobe that screams “SLUT!”, but the vibe isn’t exactly good southern mormon girl. Jesus just wasn’t my thing growing up. My parents were a little paranoid about the christians, we avoided them at all cost. I had to thrift some stuff to attend Sunday preaching with Mormon Isaac.

It was so boring, every single Sunday. Thank God the pastor would scream from time to time on his speech, the only thing waking me up. Mormon Isaac, strangely as it seems, wouldn’t try to grab me a little here and there while we were inside the church.

“Are you okay?” I asked him once when he audibly swallowed when I touched the inside of his thigh when the pastor was speaking, or whatever.

“Yes. Please, not here, sweetheart,” he urged me and I rolled my eyes.

Every. Fucking. Sunday. For. Four. Months. He would only give me a peck after church, always in front of his family, if his parents weren’t making lunch he would drive me home and that’s it.

Sometimes we would do other stuff too. He would take me to the cinema to see a movie, always under PG-13 though. I would try to jack him off and he wouldn’t allow me, I once tried to give him a blowjob and he said he was waiting for the right time. We fucked rough in the staff room and now I was a pervert, make it make some sense.

You can imagine my surprise when, in the middle of an afternoon, Mormon Isaac appeared from nowhere at the arcade.

“Guess whose four-month anniversary is today?” He asked me while holding a box. I have no idea how to pray, but I know that I prayed for every single entity in the sky for a surprise break up as a git.

“Wow, lucky me,” I said with a fake smile. If my job was boring that afternoon, it was about to become worse.

From the corner, I saw Ellie picking up her backpack from the floor as I opened the box. A deep voice greeted my name and I got cold.

Mormon Isaac was looking at me like he was the best boyfriend in the whole world. Joel appeared to be curious, getting close to the glass display I call my office.

“I didn’t know you were religious,” he said looking at the bible in my hands. A fucking bible. Damn you, Mormon Isaac.

“She attends the Sunday preach every week,” Mormon Isaac promptly corrected with his most polite smile. I wanted to die.

“Thank you very much, I will cherish it.” I smiled back, looking into Joel’s eyes with a silent rescue request when Mormon Isaac glanced at his phone.

“See you tomorrow-,” he started and I cut it before he could finish that thought.

“For the bible study, yes. It will be a pleasure,” I said faking another smile, Joel looked so confused and amused by the whole situation. Mormon Isaac grinned so hard that I thought he was about to cum in his pants.

“That’s fantastic! I will let my mom know!” He said before grabbing his phone and walking out, leaving me and Joel behind.

I sighed and dropped my head into my arms, right at the bible. Joel's laugh, I sound I grew to adore, echoed and I glanced up from my arms.

“What the hell was that?” He asked in good fun, looking at how distressed I was.

“You do me a favor: never, I said never, open the door for a Jeovah’s witness. I accepted one preach from this mormon customer and now he plays rehab with me,” I said avoiding the fact that the said mormon was my boyfriend on the following day we would meet for a date.

“I will. Do you need an excuse for bible study?” He asked looking somewhere behind me like he was forming a plan inside his head, both hands on my glass display while Ellie waited.

“Does it involve religion or any kind of cult?” I half-joked. Half because if hot Joel said he wanted me to go to any kind of religious ceremony I would have another panic attack and leave.

Joel looked to Ellie, who looked back at him and both nodded. This time I can’t translate, sorry, I’m still in the process of getting the language's grammatical structure.

“Tomorrow is Luke’s birthday. Surprise party. You don’t want to break the poor’s kid heart, c’mon,” Ellie said faking seriousness. Joel nodded back.

“There will be food?” Ellie confirmed. “Booze?”

“Do you like beer?” Joel asked, also in fake seriousness. Except that his death stare made me fucking wet.

“Pass me your phone so I can give you my number, text me the address,” I turned my palm up to grab the said phone, he smirked and Ellie laughed.

And this, Tess, is how I met Joel, got my little heart full of him just to let him slip into my life. What can I say? I never wanted to save a horse more than the moment he lassoed me.

I think you have more than enough material for our next session already. I will give you that yes, I speak more about what is inside my head like this. I think it might be because it feels strangely similar to submitting a paper, you know how much I love being the teacher’s pet.

Don’t forget: I can’t fall in love with this guy,

The Renegade

P.S. In case it isn’t obvious, I don’t have daddy issues. I DON’T. I know what it looks like, but I don’t have it. Don’t even try.

prev | next

[deadeyeedangel]

trial run - moira o'deorain x intern!reader

˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ hi ! it's my wife's birthday today, so naturally i thought i'd finally get around to those hcs i was planning on writing! these posts will probably never be formatted with those pretty little headers i see around and i'm pretty unapologetic about it, i can't lie i kiiiinda care a lot less about the presentation and more about the actual writing and i'm a pretty busy person, soooo... sorry i guess? anyway sorry for yapping and i hope you all enjoy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOCTOR O'DEORAIN!!!

˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ TAGS: sfw, reader was meant to be fem but tbh no gendered terms are really used so reader can be seen as gender-neutral, age difference (reader is implied to be a doctoral student in early 20s), canon-divergent/au because i'm projecting my own internship problems here i cannot help it, moira being moira but it's way tamer than usual, actually kinda really fluffy i needed some comfort oops, mayyy make a part 2 with the date if you guys reeeeally want it :p

✧˚ · . suffice to say she wasn't a fan on your first day- to be honest she wasn't a fan even before then. the doctor preferred to work in solitude and silence, and hearing that she would have to practically babysit a doctoral student for a whole summer? forget it.

✧˚ · . she very begrudgingly opened up to the idea of having a shadow, however, after she found out her lab would be receiving more funding as a result of the research you were being hired to do. unfortunately that still didn't mean she liked you, though.

✧˚ · . you were young, fresh-faced and naïve, and when you shuffled in through the doors to her lab you were met with a cold presence that you didn't necessarily care for at all. it was what you were expecting when you were told who you would be working with, though, so it didn't come as a surprise. after all, no matter how much better you thought you would fare working alongside your sweet professor dr. ziegler, there was only one in the facility that could find even some use in a bioinformatics student.

✧˚ · . you barely had a moment to introduce yourself before the lanky irishwoman waved off your extended hand.

"wasting time will get you nowhere. unless you wish to bring me my coffee and just sit there every day, make yourself actually useful."

you were silent after that, doing exactly as she said and leaving her alone. no words were exchanged for the rest of the day.

✧˚ · . your first week was pretty unremarkable, but you were easing into the schedule you had made, making a small dent in the large workload you had to do for your thesis. moira was always just moira, working silently in her own corner of the lab and occasionally taking a break to examine your own work but saying nothing at all. by week two, however, the silence was beginning to drive you insane.

✧˚ · . your first real conversation was initiated, surprisingly, by moira. the older woman was hovering over your shoulder as usual, examining your catalogs of the dna structures and compositions of the various modified rabbits she kept in the lab, and she decided to snarkily point out you had missed a section. expecting that to be the only thing she had to say, you sighed and corrected it before moving on but she kept speaking, pointing out areas that you missed in a tone that you could only describe as pointed and patronizing.

✧˚ · . in certain... other situations, you'd find being talked to in this manner by a quite attractive older woman to be much more pleasant, but this was your hard work she was critiquing.

✧˚ · . don't worry, though, it's her love language. she might not say it but she wants you to succeed.

✧˚ · . expect more conversations about your work and hers. you begin to speak more in the mornings when you first walked in, and at nights when you left.

✧˚ · . as the days went by and your final deadline for your thesis was approaching quicker and quicker, you ended up spending nearly all 24 hours of each day in the lab, and of course, moira had noticed.

✧˚ · . she leaves small things out for you that she'd usually leave for just herself: two mugs of coffee now, two plates with some small meals, two shot glasses in case things got rather dire... but don't ask her about them, she'll shut down that it was her doing quite quickly.

✧˚ · . one very early morning she returns from the bathroom to find you slumped over your desk, fast asleep. your face was smushed against your keyboard, keying in a constant and ever-growing string of the letter h into your catalog. if you ever found out and asked, she would have simply said she didn't want the data to be messed up. however, that was most certainly not the case as she gingerly lifted your head up carefully to delete the keyboard smash, saving your work and turning off your computer before leaving you back to your rest.

✧˚ · . she was back at her work for a good five minutes before she decides to take her lab coat off, draping it over your still-sleeping form like a makeshift blanket. you woke up that morning confused but grateful, with a slightly flushed doctor o'deorain saying she simply didn't want you to get sick, as it was cold in the lab anyway.

✧˚ · . your thesis was due the day before your last day of work, and moira was quieter than usual. you've been stressed and working dilligently all day, but when you finally submit it right before the clock struck midnight, moira got up from her side of the lab, and retrieved two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

✧˚ · . you never thought she'd be the type to celebrate this sort of thing, especially when it took her away from her work, but when she motioned you to come over, you couldn't help but listen.

✧˚ · . clinking your glasses together, moira congratulated you on your work, and over the alcohol, conversation brewed quickly. you spoke of your plans for the future, your research, her research, discussion flowing for hours, as if it were meant to be. a well-received moment of relaxation for the doctor, you assumed, surprised she'd spend it with you rather than alone.

✧˚ · . she never got the chance to ask if perhaps the two of you could see each other... outside of the lab, maybe for dinner or a coffee. a trial run if anything, she said.

✧˚ · . or- well, she didn't really say it. angela came up to you after a class and told you on her behalf. nerd with a crush doing nerd with a crush things, i guess.

[monsterlimbs]

Stinky little idiots <3

I cannot stop writing these two together. I love them. HATE Gortash but love him with durge.

RAMBLE AHEAD!! Also maybe spoilers??? I realized the format didn't work properly so I edited out all the spoilers I believe, but just in case, if you don't like spoilers, scroll SUPER fast. I doubt anyone will read it all because it is VERY long but I just really needed to get it out somewhere and if someone does read my ramble even just a little bit of it, heads-up for spoilers and shit grammar pfft!!

This is part of something I drew because I have in mind for an AU where Mordriel wakes up in the ship, thinking of Gortash. In my "canon" story for him, he sees Gortash in his visions when something reminds him of his background, but for this AU, Gortash isn't just passing visions here and there, with no name only face and vibes, he's in Mordriel's mind 24/7 essentially. Along with Gortash being his first though, he never met Neil (his sister) again after losing his memories, which means he never saw Neil care for Karlach, which meant he never even met Karlach or heard of how Gortash treated her, and because of this, never saw Gortash as a creepy little guy, only as his beautiful little lover. On top of that, without meeting Neil again, he falls into his deepest "dark urge-est" life. He only really had control because of Neil, because he was scared to hurt her again after his first transformation (even though partial), he lost full control and hurt her trying to protect her. So, without needing to be careful of hurting his little sister, he has no reason to hold back.

He also never caught feelings for Astarion because he knew he already had a lover waiting for him. Although, that didn't change his and Astarion's relationship very much because Mordriel treats his friends with just as much love and value as his lovers, just with less kissing sometimes. The only real change in the relationship relationship is that Mordriel didn't sleep with him at all. He still adores Astarion deeply, and takes care of him just as he takes care of Lae'zel and Gale and Shadowheart and all of the others he's taken in.

This drawing is kinda after their first reunion. In both his "canon" story and this AU, he goes to meet Gortash alone. Only in his regular story it's because he's worried of Gortash's explosive personality bleeding out towards his precious party members, and in this AU, he really just wants to see his boyfriend alone and be able to get all sappy and emotional without Astarion in the background scoffing at the sight of emotions. After they talk for a long while they go out to the woods together by Mordriel's request and have a ton of cuddles. And a little more, but it's way more emotionally driven than just being horny. It's so much more than being horny, it's seeing your lover in what feels like eternity, having only your own thoughts for solace when your lover had been your everything for the past fifteen years.

Another thing is that I just love him now?? I hate him but I love him?? I don't know, I'm a sucker for dramatic, over-the-top, evil little emo villains with big noses and sad eyes and smile lines. He reminds me of Lucio (from the arcana) in a way, because I LOVE Lucio in his route. He's my sad little sweet man and I'd kill for him. He's just a sad guy who needs some love and care, and someone to show him he's worth loving. But then in Muriel's route, just Lucio's name sets me off. Which is how I feel about Gortash

Okay I'm done :)

[halfadoginatank]

Simon and his father take a trip to the Scottish highlands for the summer, he knows only one of them will leave.

Johnny is a boy obsessed with filming explosions from fireworks he's not supposed to have.

Los Vaqueros are a group of Mexican teens derailed from their field trip waiting for teachers that might not come back.

Huge lore and plot dump below.

Mild tw for Simons father

Simons father has always taken him on hunting trips, sometimes he hated them, some times he liked them. But he'd never taken him this far from manchester. There are weapons in the cabin they rent, his father is eerily sober, one of them is going to die out here. Simon can only hope that Tommy won't be next.

Johnny meets him when he strays too far from his father. Part of it on purpose, he would never be on equal footing, more so when his father had the rifle and not him. He's in the tree's, at first simon thinks its prey, but there's a camera lense staring right at his scope.

Los Vaqueros come later, the leader arguing with a girl with choppy hair, Valeria and Alejandro trade glares while Rodolfo tries to mediate. Their bus broke down, leaving them stuck in town desperately renting a cabin near but far from the one simon is in.

It's the most interesting thing thats happened to johnny, and in the makeshift bonfire Valeria corners him and Simon. Her gaze is snakelike and a ring clinks on the bottle she's holding

"You say that he's an asshole yes? Your padre. Mine was the same, en mi opinión? It is kill or be killed."

Valeria nods at Alejandro, she tells them of a faceless force where she's from. The person sponsoring the trip for them, 'good will'. The five of them band together, the rest of the Vaqueros utterly ignorant.

Simon will save his family, Alejandro will get them home, and johnny? He's going to make the best home video.

-

Yeah so thats the whole plot, originally it was just going to be ghoap but somehow the Vaqueros fell into place. It kind of made more sense to have Valeria give them the idea? She doesnt have a whole bunch of canon lore so I figured she'd have an in with the cartel via her father, who was awful. And when Valeria killed him the nameless helped her cover it up and she got her own little spot.

Alejandro broke off their relationship after that, it's why they're on bad terms. He formed the Vaqueros as a funny joke that he started to take seriously when kids around Las Almas genuinely needed help that wasnt someway connected to the cartel, adults had that with rudys mother, so Ale and his childhood friend Rudy decided to help people their age in a way that doesn't rely on adults too much.

Everyone here is about 16-18. Soap is 17, ghost is as well but a few months older. Rudy Alejandro and Valeria are 18. And the youngest cowboy is 16.

Im trying to fit Gaz and Alex in? Im thinking that they both live in Texas, Gazs parents had a falling out since mum was from Texas hes there. Their school is on the same trip in the same bus a sort of cross trip to help the shitty american public school get a better name, as well as the cartels big PR move with having a class from one of Las Almas' schools.

Johnny is a bit weird here, but his motivation is he's suffering from extreme middle kid issues. Loves his family but since he's almost invisible is able to just kinda run off as long as hes back home eventually. He has a camera he uses to film any of his mishaps with, its essentially just jackass. As well as a video diary. Dont be fooled, its also an excuse for me to write some of it in script like format.

Simon is almost exactly the same as he is in the 09 comics, obviously a bit different. But childhood is the same.

I wanted farah to be here so bad but her childhood is literally a warzone and theres no way I can get her and her brother in Scotland. Because im trying so hard to make this somewhat believable, like yes its is a summer mystery horror au. But god I just really need things to make a little sense otherwise I cant do it. Same with Price Nik and Laswell. Like I could group Laswell in with Alex and gaz, and maybe I could pair her with Valeria for funsies. However Nikolai is in russia so... oopsie, and price? Like... how do you turn price into a teenager, he'd be what 19 or 20? Theres no reason he'd be in school, I dont think he'd be held back.

Also you may wonder, why is graves not here? Uh.... because I dont care, he wouldn't have a place here. The antagonist is Simons father, and honestly man? I just dont care that much for his character.

Man theres... theres so much I have here dude, I want to throw roach in there, and I THINK I could squeeze him in as one of ghosts school mates but the point is the first act has Simon completely isolated.

Anyway thats it. Bye.

[iamamythologicalcreature]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

(Not like I need the assistance, but I'm so thrilled to be thought of as a writer that I'm totally doing this.)

Thank you so much for the invites @aristocratic-otter, @bookish-bogwitch, @shrekgogurt, @ic3-que3n, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @drowninginships, @best--dress, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @whatevertheweather, and @youarenevertooold! (I think I might be the last one in the 'verse doing this, but that won't stop me from tagging more people at the end.) I've loved reading everyone's answers!

Okay. Here we go. I am absolutely using my flimsy claim to authorhood to answer these. >.>

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

The Haunting of Simon Snow

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Construction Worker!Simon + haunted manor house = a most interesting summer job

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Well, it's a ghost story. You can draw some conclusions from that.

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

A Victorian's Gothic

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

It sure as hell better be Haunting. I mean, my goodness, it's looped around my brain like a too-patient boa constrictor, just sloooowly squeezing.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

snowbaz.scriv is my catch-all Scrivener file for all ficcy things

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

There’s a person that I used to be. Magic I used to hold, magic that held me. I have done everything I can to forget that feeling, because it was never supposed to be mine. I was never magic. He’s magic. He’s magic, and I can almost touch him. He’s magic, and he can almost hold me. I live on the edge of almost all the time, so that’s enough. (It’s never enough.)

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

This was originally planned as a story written in letters. (Doing that with something else, now, and it works way better in a different story.)

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I'm going to stick to snowbaz fanfic for this, because if I broaden it any further, this list will instantly become quite long. (I have a lot of original story ideas.) For snowbaz, though? Well, there's the one I'm planning for COTTA. There are a couple AU's that I've written way too many notes on. And then a Fangirl crossover fic that I sincerely hope to someday write. (Technically I started it, but only a few hundred words at this point.)

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

Actively? One. Maybe two. Kinda thinking two, but the second one is new and more of a game at this point, so we'll see. (Not quite so actively I also have my Baz fic, my "Silence" fic where Baz successfully steals Simon's voice. It's roughly (super roughly) outlined, and I've written several scenes, but it's on the back-burner for Haunting. And COTTA. No more new fics after that, though! I really want to tell that story!)

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

That's funny. What a question. XD YES. Yes, there are scenes. I'm designing Pitch Manor to get through this damned scene LOL

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

Thankee kindly!

On the off chance there are any fic writers left out there who haven't yet done this... Tags! @mooncello, @cutestkilla, @blackberrysummerblog, @hushed-chorus, @fatalfangirl, @onepintobean, @j-nipper-95, @facewithoutheart, @angelsfalling16, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii, anyone else who wants to. Cheers!

[the-s1lly-corner]

ATTENTION CREEPYPASTA FANS

hiiiiii i kinda wanna write some hcs/self insert stuff but im kinda stumped on who and what to write; especially since its been a while since ive written for these characters (a while = about a month?? give or take)

so! i'll be opening requests for creepypasta characters, a 'short' run down of my rules below + characters i write for + some info regarding how i write certain characters that may or may not be important

i apologize for any typos and mistakes for this post, im back to writing on my silly computer!! formatting may be a little whack as well, but that parts more so because idk how i wanna structure these side posts

it should be said right now that the way i write these characters leans very heavy on my own personal interpretation/au rather than ideas that the bulk of the fandom has (although, to be fair, i havent interacted much with the current state of the fandom, im kinda stuck in 2016 </3) so personalities or worldbuilding/common ideas may be different or totally absent in my writing

will not write;

this blog does not allow explicit nsfw material, at most there will be suggestive jokes or themes but it will likely never ever be the main theme of the post!

basic nono criteria, no gross stuff

personally i dont like writing prompts surrounded by cheating so most likely i wont write it

anything overly graphic (gorey), yes i understand that this is creepypasta but there are some things that i just simply wont write; however implied/minor gore is allowed to an extent

really asides from that im mostly chill with anything, but on the off chance you send in something that makes me uncomfy/a request i feel i cant fulfill, i will do my best to communicate that

ohoh also! unfortunately i do not take oc requests :(! no hate to oc x canon, esp since im part of that community, but i just dont trust myself to be able to do justice or your oc TToTT

if i turn down a request it is nothing against you or your wants, please do not take it personally ^^;

will write;

fluff and angst, along with specific scenarios! im fine with most angst but as said above, if a prompt cannot be done i will communicate that!

the reader by default is GN/is not referred to with pronouns outside of like. they/you/your, the POV i write in is kinda inconsistent tbh ,, but i am comfy with writing for specific genders + trans readers, although i admit im not sure how much pronouns or gendered things will come into play unless gender is the main point of the request

im fine with poly! though ive yet to actually. write poly

i dont just write romantic hcs! im down with platonic/familial ones as well!

again im not at all picky with things, and once again, i will communicate if something cant be done

added thing since im not sure where else to put it! by default i write short hcs and scenarios, short fics being very rare on this acc since im not confident in my writing; so !! yeah!! there isnt a real limit to how many characters you can ask for per request but it should be noted that the more characters there are, the shorter each section will likely be

list of characters i will write for!

if a character has a * by their name there will be added notes on how i write for them/special rules stated after the list

Slenderman

Trenderman

Splendorman

Masky/Tim*

Hoodie/Brian*

Laughing Jack

Eyeless Jack

Ticci Toby**

Jeff*

Jane*

Ben*

Nina*

Puppeteer*

Bloody Painter*

Zalgo*(?)

added character notes:

for characters that are minors in their source (jeff, jane, ben, and toby and nina) i will not be writing any romantic hcs; thats just a personal boundary of mine and while i dont think its particually gross or problematic depending on context, its not something i myself feel comfortable writing for! however i am more than willing to write platonic or family hcs for the characters stated above!

onto the proxies! im still figuring out how i wanna write them but i wanted to blend together the creepypasta take and the og marble hornets version into something new (mostly for my au) however due to my brain forgetting most the stuff that happens in MH (i gotta rewatch it, bad) it more so leans into the creepypasta take of these characters! i also by default write tim and masky as different characters, and the same for brian !!

main reason for puppeteer and bloody painter having the star is because im not too well versed in their lore but im willing to write them! though i am struggling to find a consistent source on helens age so ill be going off the fandom wiki (with a grain of salt) that hes in his 20s-

zalgo is a weird case because in my au he does indeed exist but also isnt?? okay so hes more so this untouchable being/mostly nontangible; like the dude is more so like a sentient force of nature bordering on something incomprehensible rather than being a person; more of a concept if anything... but because i want a challenge, and because i need to flesh him out in general im making him an available character!

but yeah i think thats mostly it! this post ended up being longer than i intended but i fully blame that on me being totally incapable of shortening things down 😭😭

[bitwynn]

Something worth more than this

A SAGAU Impostor AU Songfic

Song used: Peace and Love on the Planet Earth

So I'm not sure if you can tell but this is the songfic request i alluded to in the Not A Fan "Author End Notes". I'm planning to make this a two-parter considering the fact that my... i guess sort of "format(?)" , calls for me to only have one song per fic lol-- also because i, as i was mulling this over in my brain during the few days i couldnt write due to Life Circumstances, got a TONNNNN of ideas and have already made a bit of a whole perfect two parter story AHAHAH-- literally, the only part i fucked up in was which song to use first because i had two versions in my head. one that used Peace and Love first and another that used Mother Tongue first. I kinda just-- gave up on figuring out which song to use first and just looked at the request for the placement of the song lollll. I am still very sick as i write this so thats gonna be. Fun.

@jjovin321 this ones for you bud (no shit you requested it AHAHA--)

Blue for Barbara, Yellow/Gold for Zhongli, Green for Wanderer, Red for Diluc, Italics is Reader/General, Bold is Xiao, Combined is Everyone. Colors and effects only used for song parts mostly. Sometimes Italics will be used for emphasis and the like. Some lines will be altered slightly to better fit the story. Please read with this in mind.

---

"Hey, uhm... Li?" The man turns to you, a questioning look in his amber eyes. "Yes?"

Sheepish, you scratch your head. "This might be a weird ask but uhm..." What were you supposed to say to him? What can you even say to him?

You and your group were deep in the stone pillars and mountains that dotted Minlin, at risk from the Adepti that take residence in the area, but safe thanks to the fear and respect the people have thanks to these Adepti. You had suggested going through Huaguang Stone Forest thanks to its treacherous terrain that even your once-Vessels have trouble navigating, but Zhongli had pointed out the Adepti problem that you'd completely forgotten about.

You had tried to find a safer, and more Adepti-less route, but you all knew that the Millelith and the other Vessels would be crawling over every spot in Liyue they could cover. With that, you were forced to go to the belly of the beast.

Meaning, that because you were in such a highly dangerous area with not only the area itself being the problem, but also the beings residing in it, you shouldn't make these such... selfish requests. Hell, you were currently figuring out a way to go through Huaguang without gliding all over the place or swimming through the lakes that the stone pillars emerge from. Cloud Retainer or Mountain Shaper could just effortlessly pluck you out of the sky, and Ganyu could just freeze you to death underwater. You couldn't waste brainpower on such frivolous things.

But fuck-- you can't just tell them that 'oh hey guys, I'm really homesick and I constantly just wanna curl up into a ball and die! I miss everyone back home so much, please help me, it hurts so much!'

You had to stay strong. For you, and for them.

No-- no, you are strong. What you're trying to do is to just look strong and, god isn't that fucking hilarious? What use would looking strong be to these people? Wanderer watched you have a breakdown the first time you met because you ate his food, Barbara has seen you half dead way too many times for anyone to see anyone be half dead, Zhongli constantly throws you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes everytime you start getting chased, and Diluc was the one to teach you basic self defense which resulted in an ass beating everytime you spar.

These people, they've all seen you and each other at their lowest and weakest points. And they've never condemned any of you for being this way. It is, quite literally, just you and them against the world. So why feel ashamed to ask them of this one thing?

"Can you teach me how to use my powers?"

Their love and care and your complete and utter trust in them still won't stop you from trying to save at least a little bit of face though.

Zhongli takes a moment, cocking his head in thought. "Seeing as we're currently out of ideas on how to cross Huaguang without risk, or at least as little risk as we can afford... alright." He smiles a little to himself, old memories that you've never seen shining in his eyes. "Who knows, we may even find a way to cross safely as I teach you."

Your little group is currently situated in one of the hanging huts-- really, it was more of a little alcove that Zhongli carved out of one of the pillars. You still remember his pleased look as you watched him press his hand against the rock, and you gawked as the stone began to mold to his will. And now, that's what you're trying to recreate.

"Wait, wait, wait-- can you tell me that again one more time? I've been trying but, I'm not sure if I get it?"

Zhongli, as patient as a sage, nods and explains to you once again. "What I do when I mold and shape the earth is to connect with the Geo energy within it. As the earth is just Geo in a different form, I merely begin to impose my will upon it after the connection. It's--"

"Yes, yes, 'it's very similar to your own abilities to possess us as Vessels so maybe try to think of it more like that', we get it!" The Wanderer groans as he lounges at the lip of your alcove, disguised by a low hanging Sandbearer tree. His leg sways back and forth off the lip as he goes on. "At this point, I'm the one who's learning how to become the 'new Geo Archon' with how many times you ask him to repeat that."

"Bitch, the Avatar took 3 fucking seasons to learn fire bending! I have like-- 3 extra elements to learn here and I am literally just starting!"

The Wanderer merely gives you a side eye. "How long was the three seasons?"

"Like... 2 to 3 years? Maybe 4-ish?"

"How long have you been here?"

"...Couple months or so?"

He smiles.

"And how long did this 'Avatar' take to master each element?"

You feel yourself shrink. "Like... uh... couple months at most, I think."

His grin widens and he nods his head. "I rest my case."

"Hey, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"Now, calm down y/n," Zhongli starts, gripping your shoulder. "With enough time and guidance, you'll be able to handle Geo with the same ease as I do-- maybe more, considering your... special circumstances."

He brings your attention back to the rock you've been trying to bend for what feels like hours. "Maybe we should start with you. Because to me, it feels like you already understand the instructions and are capable of doing it. But, your way of going about it might be what's holding you back." He tilts his head. "What were you trying to do, y/n?"

You feel your face heat as you begin to squirm under his gaze. You take a breath, and sigh. "I... I wanted to make a guitar."

You had turned your eyes downwards to the rock, drawing spirals with your finger. "It's... It'd be nice to have something I can actually play." To have something of home. Even if its just a pale imitation of the one back there.

You feel his gaze soften as he comes closer. "Now... I think I see the problem here." Your own gaze doesn't lift, still staring at your twiddling fingers. "You sure?"

He hums. "Just a hunch, I suppose." He takes your hands and places them back on the rock. "I believe that... you were trying to meld the rock into a guitar but, were trying to do it all in one go."

You lift your head, Zhongli sounding like he had said these next few words millions of times before. "The shape you were conjuring is much too complex for someone of your skill level. But, that doesn't mean we can't make this."

He gestures back to the rock. "First off, simplify the shape of the item you're conjuring. Focus on the large main shapes. If I were trying to make a sculpture of a bird, then I would simplify it first into a small circle for the head, and then an oblong for the body."

You look back to the rock, connecting with its naturally occurring Geo energy. You take a calming breath and close your eyes to focus. "Then... if I were to simplify a guitar... it would be..."

You think back, way back to before you appeared here. Back to your normal life, with your friends and family. You think back on those afternoon jamming sessions with your friends as you'd sing and mess around and teach each other your instruments. You think back to the stories your father had told you, about wooing your mother with a serenade as he'd teach you one of the many songs he'd sing for you and for her.

You remember how you would tap, tap, tap on the guitar-- a makeshift drum as you jammed with friends. You remember the sting and the bite of the hard metal strings as your father taught you how to play a few songs. You remember playing the most basic of meme songs to troll your friends; loved ones leaving their own special marks on you and their guitars.

You smile as you think back to those happy memories way back then. "It would be... that weird sort of number 8 shape for the body..." You remember signing your name on the body of your friend's sticker covered guitar, and how you always gushed over how cool it looked. "...and the long-ass neck for the strings." You remember your father as he was stringing his guitar, how he always warned you to be careful with the E string as it was so thin and prone to snapping if tuned too tight.

You couldn't see it but Zhongli nods with a smile, watching you work. "Second, you add the larger details by redistributing the Geo around your structure. You could add more Geo by using the earth around you but, that's a lesson for another day. Now just focus on moving the Geo around. Back to my 'bird sculpture', I'd take some Geo energy from the main oblong body and move it to the head-- giving it eyes and a beak. I'd also slim the oblong body and make it more bird-like as I do so, moving the other extra Geo down to make feet."

You nod, trance-like as you dig deep in your memories.

The body would need to be hollowed of course, the extra Geo serving to fatten the neck a little and provide some detail to the head. Details like pegs, and tuners, and the little raised platform where the strings rested so they weren't completely flat on the fingerboard. And you can't forget about the frets, it wouldn't sound or feel right if you didn't have them.

You hum a little, the memories of old bringing a smile to your face. The pick guard needs to be a little below the soundhole-- afterall, that's where your hand'll hit when you start strumming. Speaking of strumming, the strings need a bridge to hold them down. Can't just have them attached to only the pegs or they'd be useless.

Zhongli chuckles, causing you to open your eyes. His smile is wide as he regards you with the softest expression, the corners of his eyes crinkling with pride. "Well... I was supposed to coach you on how to do some of the finer detail work but, it seems that I don't need to y/n." He nods at you, the rock in your hand feeling a little less like a rock.

You look down at it, and... "Oh my god. Oh, oh my god... Oh my god, Zhongli... I..."

There it was. An almost perfect copy of your friend's and family's guitar right in your hands. Actually, it would be more accurate to describe it as a fusion of the two instruments-- this guitar taking bits and pieces of the ones in your memories and bringing them to life here in Teyvat.

"Li... Li, I-- I'm so--" you take a deep, wet, shuddering breath. "I..." He merely brings you into a hug, you melting into his arms. "You did good. You did wonderfully, y/n."

You stay there together for a few moments, as you quietly fell apart in his arms. And with one final, shuddering breath, you pull away, looking up at him with a teary-eyed smile. "Thank... thank you, Li. I-- I wouldn't have done this without you." He huffs. "Only because I have an exceptional student."

You blush with praise as he inspects the guitar in your hands. You watch his eyes sparkle and widen, clearly impressed. "May I? Thank you." He lifts the guitar with your, admittedly, reluctant permission, careful fingers flitting about and checking over it. "I imagine that you want this to be a playable structure, yes? Because other than that, this is an impressive guitar structure."

He runs a finger across the strings, rock hard and immovable. "Honestly, the only thing you need to do is to change the composition of some of the material and it would be perfect! Of course, you'd most likely make adjustments to the thinness and thickness of the rock once you start hearing the sound, but overall-- this guitar is of exquisite make, y/n."

Zhongli hands you back your guitar. "I'm quite proud." You take it back, the blush slowly dying down on your face. "...Thanks."

Muscle memory overtakes your fingers as you press chords into the stone strings. The sting of your uncalloused fingers bringing bittersweet memories of your old life. "So... when will I learn to actually, ykno-- turn this into something playable?" "Oh, thats much too advanced for someone of your level, y/n."

The Wanderer bursts out laughing as you squawk in indignation. "WHAT THE FUCK?! That's directed to both of you by the way, but-- what the fuck?" "I'm merely saying that your control over Geo is impressive for someone who has, quite frankly, never done such a thing before. Even those with Visions could not have had that same sort of mastery at your level. But converting Geo into its other forms is a different beast than sculpting. You have to fundamentally change what form the Geo is currently taking-- much more different than moving it around with precision."

You hiss at Wanderer, who blows you a raspberry, as he keeps watch by the opening. Zhongli continues. "I as well, needed much time and practice to refine my control and ability over Geo and its many forms. I could adjust it for you but," He glances over to your silently fuming face, earlier so melancholic in its reminiscence. "I'm assuming you'd want to do it yourself. The next best thing if you want it now is to use the practice of alchemy to convert the sandstone into other materials. Alas, this is one of the few things I am not as knowledgeable on."

He glances to the rest of the team for help, who were peacefully just resting their tired arms and legs on a soft pile of leaves. Diluc speaks up from where he'd been using his folded coat as a pillow. "I've worked with the chief alchemist before on occasion and still remember those few moments where y/n used me to make 'character ascension' materials." He frowns in contemplation as he thinks back to those times.

"I remember that you'd be able to use the 'Dust of Azoth' to convert different kinds of pure, crystallized elemental energy into other elemental energy but, I'm not so sure if you'd be able to use it on... sandstone, you said?" Zhongli nods. "Yeah, there's a high likelihood of that not being able to happen. Dream Solvent is also a risky option, since it only works on 'boss drops' as y/n calls it."

"Well, they're dropped by bosses-- what else am I gonna call them?"

Barbara pipes up, chuckling at your remark. "The only other option I can think of is magic, but the only ones I know are mainly focused on Hydro and healing. But..." She trails off, twiddling her fingers from where she's using Diluc as a pillow. "If you're this proficient in just-- sculpting Geo, then maybe you'd also be that proficient in conversion too!" She suddenly turns sheepish as she scratches her head. "I mean... you are Overseer of Teyvat. There's no reason it wouldn't come easily to you."

"Yeah, its literally the entire reason we're wanted fugitives in every single corner of Teyvat." The entire mood of the alcove shifted as the Wanderer spoke, tone perfectly level as he sits on the edge; his back ramrod straight and legs still in the slowly blowing breeze. His voice is perfectly neutral, none of the usual snark or confidence or playful sass.

Something's wrong.

You kept your posture perfectly casual, fingers still playing with the stone strings of your guitar while in your head, you were scrolling through your weapons options to at least try and defend yourself from-- whatever it is that's alerted him. Everyone's doing something mostly the same, Barbara flipping through the pages of her Mappa Mare like it was just a regular atlas and not a weapon of mass destruction. Wanderer's fingers rapped on his bell, the movement making its clapper sway, its twinkling sounds deafeningly loud in your silence.

He kept his gaze forward, to the stones of Huaguang. Watching. Waiting.

Diluc casually laid a hand on his hip, as if it wasn't the perfect setup for a slash, and Zhongli merely poured himself a cup of tea, trusting in his power as Archon of the land.

Wanderer turns his head to the side and you see his eyes, casually taking in the beautiful scenery as if he wasn't looking for something. He begins to speak. "You know, it's rather pathetic for them to be chasing us down. Rather-- I think that its perfectly in character for them to do so. I mean," He shrugs with a scoff, cocky and insufferable. "are they that stupid as to not realize the differences between you and their 'Divine Excellency'?"

He's taunting them out.

You play along, the role of the 'Divine Deceiver' coming unnervingly easily to you. "Oh, please. They wouldn't recognize Lord Barbatos even if he descended with his godly form in their face. Oh wait--" The laugh that bursts out of your mouth is more of a cackle, the perfect lure.

And finally, the finishing blow-- "I... really didn't know, y/n. I'm sorry..."

Barbara, the perfect image of a confused girl who's lost her way.

"Oh, its alright Barbara," you coo, the whiplash from scheming cruelty to innocent dove almost certainly driving the hit home. "He was merely shirking his duties as the God of Mondstat! And for what? To get wasted every night at Angel's Share?" You scoot closer to her, Zhongli softly blowing on his steaming cup. "So, he's both a liar and an irresponsible god! But don't you worry Barbara, your Divine Overseer is here now." You let her take your hand and kiss it, the very image of reverence and worship.

Barbara nuzzles up to your hand, the tension almost palpable in the air as you all wait for the shoe to drop. Zhongli must've sensed your growing panic, speaking up into the silence. His eyes are soft as he talks. "Yes... thank you for your descent here to Teyvat, your grace." His face sombers, setting down his tea. "I've grown weak in my thousands of years of living, and have had to shirk my duties to my people just like that drunken fool."

He's done well to ease your panic, but it's only replaced by growing dread as he continues to talk. "I... I cannot thank you enough for forgiving me for my incompetence as Overseer of Liyue. I can only hope that my servitude to you will make up for that." Zhongli, whenever he plays his role, never quite lays it on this thick.

Though he's felt remorse and doubts when he stepped down from being the god of Liyue, he has never seen himself as incompetent or weak. He is, afterall, Morax the Warrior God and God of Contracts. Everything he does, he completes to absolute perfection. This self deprecation can only mean one thing.

Oh.

Oh, no.

It's Xiao.

A burst of black and green light-- Anemo energy, blinds almost everyone inside, Diluc and Wanderer still safe thanks to their positions. "Slander!" Xiao hisses. "This is slander and lies, Morax!" You claw at his arms as he grips you in a chokehold. "Do not listen to a single word that leaves this-- this charlatan's mouth!" Zhongli, if he wasn't already, sits straight up and his voice booms with a level of power and authority that none of you have ever heard before.

"Stand down, Xiao." This, this is Morax, the God of War himself speaking.

He summons his blade, the Primordial Jade Spear, and points the edge to your neck. Wanderer stands by the entrance, orbs of black Anemo in his palms and at the ready. Diluc is standing, the blinded Barbara behind him and Wolf's Gravestone at the ready. "Take it back."

You could almost feel the cool jade against your neck with how close its getting to you. "Take it all back Morax-- they're just lies that this vermin," Xiao practically spits the insult out like phlegm. "has wormed into your head." Morax's eyes narrow as he rises, his height making him tower over the Vigilant Yaksha.

"I will not repeat myself again. Stand down, General Alatus."

Xiao bristles, tightening his hold on both you and his spear. You choke as the already agitated yaksha fumes, blade and hand mere moments away from taking your life. He stands his ground against the sheer authority rolling off Morax in waves. "No. No, I will not stand down. I will not stand down, Grand Marshal!"

Morax's eyes narrow as he summons his own spear, the Vortex Vanquisher. "No. No, what I will do, Grand Marshal, is to take this impostor," he speaks the insult with such venom. "before the Divine Overseer's throne not because I want whatever reward they're offering-- no. I am doing this because this faker has clearly poisoned your mind, Morax!" He turns to the rest of the tiny cave. "They've poisoned all of your minds with their lies!"

"I am doing this for the good of Liyue, Rex. For the good of Teyvat!"

And for a moment, his rage ebbs into something like desperation. "Please, understand-- I am doing this for you, I am doing this because of my contract and my duty to protect and serve you and Liyue and the people. Please..."

His eyes soften with sorrow, Morax melting away back into Zhongli as you choke and gasp for air in Xiao's grip. "I am afraid that there are many things you do not yet understand, Alatus."

And Xiao's rage returns, climaxing into a roaring burst of Anemo energy.

"Disappear!" And he left just as he came, with a burst of black and green Anemo energy, Diluc and Wanderer stumbling as they had lunged after you to no avail.

-

You're currently high in the air above the stone pillars of Huaguang Stone Forest, Xiao having shed part of his human form to free the more beastial parts of his Adepti form-- A large and beautiful pair of dark green wings, shimmering golden in the sunlight. The sight of his wings would've been a wonder to look at as you flew through the sky, if you weren't currently hanging by his talons with his spear still pressed to your neck. The threat of death does certainly ruin the whole experience.

The pressure of the blade to your neck is light as you squirm. "Let me go, Xiao!" He tsks. "Believe me, I'd love to just let go of you and watch as you splatter against the rocks and erase your feeble mortal existence from this world. But, I'm going to present you, you impostor, to the Divine Overseer so that they may properly judge you for your blasphemy against them."

You squawk in fear and indignation. "I MEAN'T LIKE-- PUT ME DOWN SAFELY AND LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Another tsk. "Just keep your mouth shut lest I change my mind." You gasp in indignation. "You wouldn't dare!" You cling onto his talons anyways.

It seems like it was the correct decision, seeing as his grip loosened greatly. Xiao chuckles as you cling to him, fingers practically digging into his feet. "Normally, the suffering of the people is something I greatly despise. But, this does bring a smile to my face."

You squeak, the panic and fear festering in your heart finally fully showing itself. "Please-- please can't we just talk this out or something?!" He scoffs. "Like I'll listen to you and your saccharine lies and silver tongue." His grip tightens, enough to draw blood. You shout in pain as he continues. "I don't know what magicks you did or what words you said to them that-- that turned them all this way, but know this, deceiver."

It stings; the way he says your undeserved title, and the talons digging into your flesh. "It will stop now. You, and your lying, and scheming, and blaspheming-- It will all be paid for. With your life, with your blood-- with whatever the Divine Overseer sees fit. And when you are gone from this world, I will make sure that everything you've done-- everyone's minds you've poisoned, everyone that you've harmed-- I will be sure to make it all right again. Do you understand, you fake?!"

Yeah, okay-- you had to agree. The whole playing into your roles thing is really hurting all your reputations. But that's something to be worried about later, the intensity of the situation having reached its peak for you.

You're heaving-- gulping as much air into your lungs as you shake; trembling in his grip. Your heart's pounding, a rabbit-like pace, as you claw at his talons, babbling and begging. "Please-- please, let me go-- you, you don't understand Xiao, please! I can explain everything, please, god, don't kill me! Please, please, please!"

The floodgates break, tears and snot streaming down your face. "God-- fuck! I never even wanted to be here-- I never even to be like this! Fuck-- fuck! Xiao, please-- please, I just want to go home!"

Something changed inside him, with only the barest off-beat wing flap indicating the seed of doubt planted in his heart. He growls, deep and guttural and angry. "I won't listen to your lies. Not now, not ever."

But with the way you begged for your life... it didn't feel like a lie.

Unfortunately, the beginnings of his inner turmoil go unnoticed to you, the panic and fear reaching its climax. You needed to get away, you didn't want to die yet. You needed to go somewhere else-- anywhere else as long as you were safe and alive and away from him. Your mind instinctively goes to the nearest Waypoint, but the realization hits you as you were about to teleport away.

The Vessels know how the Waypoints work now. Thanks to you, those "strange, four pronged landmarks" became a source of fast-travel for the Vision-holders. The Vision-holders that were currently hunting you. Vision-holders that would be watching and waiting at those same Waypoints, waiting for you or any of your party to appear in a golden flash of light.

You would die if you teleport yourself away, the Vision-holders and the militia camping at those structures.

You would die if you resist Xiao's grip, falling to your death or slamming into one of the stone pillars that dot Huaguang.

You would die if you give up, your doppelganger most definitely looking to make you suffer as you breathe your last breaths.

All roads lead to your demise.

But-- no-- no, it cant be. You can't die just yet-- you can't just leave them behind like that. You can't just betray Wanderer, you can't hurt Barbara again, you can't let Diluc lose another loved one again, you can't let Zhongli lose the few remaining dredges of family he has left. And even though Teyvat would never, ever let you die-- not truly at least, dying hurts. Dying always hurt so much.

You have to live.

For you, your newfound family and friends, at least until you can find someway to-- to fix this. To fix everything.

You can't run away from this. Even if you wanted to.

You force yourself to calm down, slowing your breath and heart, but your mind still roiling with fear and anxiety. This is a do or die situation. What can you do? What can you do in this moment, with your feeble strength and abilities that won't end up in Xiao lobbing your head off, or falling to your death, or some other horrible ending to your fate?

You can surprise him-- Diluc and Zhongli had trained you with a sword when they could, Diluc's old Favonius Sword somehow both heavy and light in your hands in your short training sessions. But as soon as you'd bring out the blade, Xiao would probably slit your throat or drop you to force you to drop the sword.

Teleporting is out of the question, with each Waypoint practically swarming with bloodthirsty soldiers. What else, what else?!

You frantically look around Huaguang for something-- anything that could get you out of this. It's such a shame for Zhongli, he only wanted some peace and rest-- to live out the rest of his retirement in peace. But, unfortunately ever since you dropped into this world, he's not only hated and lambasted by his people, but also exposed as a god-- forever tarnishing him in their memory.

A touch of sorrow fills your heart, as Xiao flies you off. And to think-- he'd spent thousands and thousands of years protecting his people with his powers and spears, only for them to turn those same things against him. You still remember the sting as those spears and arrows rained down upon you and the group. And to think, he used to do the same to his enemies during the Archon War, just to protect Liyue and his people. You chuckle. How the tables have turned.

Wait... Spears... Archon War... Zhongli...

You have an idea.

Trusting Xiao to not let you go, you release your almost vice-like grip on his feet, looking out onto the stone pillars before you. You take a calming breath, calling onto Zhongli's teachings. The shiver that goes up your body is so much more different than the tremblings of fear you felt earlier, having connected with the pure Geo energy present within the pillars. You groan, this power filling and rushing within you overwhelming your senses. Is this what it feels like to be Zhongli?

Thinking back to earlier, when you had so effortlessly sculpted a stone guitar, you call out to the Geo energy in those pillars surrounding you-- each one of them answering in turn. You shiver, still unused to the surge of power inside you, Teyvat itself so willing and eager to answer your call. You impose your will onto the world around you, your wish deeply ingrained into each stone, each drop of water, and each blade of grass.

Save me.

Xiao, abruptly yanked out of his thoughts, stops mid-air as the pillars rumble and shake. "You dirty witch! What did you do?!" He flaps around frantically as the pillars begin to crumble and fall atop you. You gulp as you hang on to his claws, the two of you beginning to fall mid-air. "A trust exercise!"

-

Earlier...

"Dammit!" Wanderer shouts, as regains his balance. "Shit-- that damn adepti took them and just-- vanished!" He paces, grumbling as he tries toget his thoughts together. "Fuck-- Barbara, where's the nearest Waypoint? We might still be able to rush the soldiers if we get there now." "No, there's no need for that." Zhongli places a hand on Barbara's shoulder, who had frantically began paging her Mappa Mare.

"What do you mean there's no need for that-- He quite literally vanished! There's no other explanation for it than him going to a Waypoint!" He sighs, recalling his old memories. "Alatus, better known as the Adeptus Xiao, was once the mere hound of a god who had captured him. He was forced to do many horrible acts in that god's name, and was even made to eat the dreams of his victims."

The Wanderer crossed his arms. "And? What does his sob story have to do with y/n getting fucking kidnapped?" He ignored his rise, Zhongli continuing on. "Before I had freed him from his old master, before I bestowed upon him the name 'Xiao', he went by a different name. Alatus. This was because of what he was as an Illuminated Beast. Before he was Xiao, known as the Conquerer of Demons, efore he was Alatus, known as the Devourer of Dreams, he was known as Alatus, the Great Golden Winged. He was known for the beauty of his wings, and swiftness like no other."

"...Meaning that he used some sort of ancient adeptal magic to 'teleport' out of here?" Zhongli nodded at Diluc, who had regained his bearing. "Yes. There can be no other explanation." Wanderer speaks up. "And how are you so sure of that?" The once-Archon hummed as his eyes shone with Geo energy. Elemental Sight.

"There is a difference between Waypoint Teleportation and Xiao's Adeptal Teleportation. Whenever we use a Waypoint, we leave little to no elemental energy behind. On the off chance we do, the energy we leave behind is Null energy-- pure, unadulterated elemental energy that hasn't turned into one of the seven elements yet. It usually dissipates into whatever element is nearest to it, in most abundance, or most prominent. And the traces of Null energy are so miniscule that you'd miss it even if you're actively looking for it." Zhongli blinks away his elemental sight, gesturing to where Xiao and their Overseer once stood.

"This small area is condensed with Anemo energy, with trace amounts of Xiao's accumulated karma. He, therefore, cannot have used a Waypoint." Wanderer tch-ed, as everyone's eye's faded back into their regular shades. "Touché old man, touché."

"That's... fascinating but," Barbara had her Mappa Mare cracked open to the lands of Liyue, Minlin. "how are we supposed to track Xiao? We know that he's obviously taking them to the fake, and that y/n would do all they can to stop or at least delay him, but what path would he take?" She rubs her hands in worry. "Oh, we're surrounded by all sides with adepti! I'd know what paths and what distractions y/n would make but-- but what about Xiao? Would he fall for y/n's baiting and tricks? From earlier, it doesn't seem like he would and that any attempt y/n would make to slow him down wouldn't work..."

Diluc grumbles as he looks down onto the atlas. He sighs. "You know him best Li, we'll follow your lead." A nod.

"Alright. Wanderer, you have an Anemo Vision and you're the fastest out of all of us. Is there any chance you can use the residual Anemo energy to try and pin point his location? If not, do a close and general sweep of the area to try and figure out what direction he went. From there, you'll be our 'eye in the sky' as y/n would put it. You'll be the one guiding us to their location." He nods as he rushes where Xiao was, cupping his hands and filling them with Anemo.

"Barbara, seeing as you've spent the most time with y/n and have the added benefit of 'level 10 friendship', you'll be my advisor to whatever other variables and probabilities that they'd do or make for us. Like if they manage to somehow talk Xiao into putting them down, or if they shift into one of us to try to fight their way out." Another nod as she takes her place at his side.

Zhongli turns to the last of their group. "Diluc--" "Muscle?" A nod. "Apologies, old friend." He brushes it off. "It's alright. There's not much I can do here anyways." They exchange a nod as Zhongli kneels, pressing a hand into the rock. "I'll try to find them by communicating with the pillars or by the Geo signature of their stone guitar. They'd also unwittingly resonated with Geo earlier so this may be a little easier..."

Zhongli feels the Geo energy rush within him. He soaks it all in, feeling it fill up every part of him-- from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. He is positively thrumming with Geo, but no matter how much he takes in, it will never fill up the gaping hole left behind by the Gnosis. He pushes past that old ache, setting his eyes back on his objective.

When he speaks, every rock, every pebble, every boulder, every stone-- no matter how big or small or insignificant, all raise themselves in attention.

"Where is my god?"

The pebbles tumble and cry-- as the wind and waters move us to and fro, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

The boulders rumble in their places-- as rain and time wear us down, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

The grains of sand swirl and churn-- as the tides and the fish guide us 'round Teyvat, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

The crystals gleam and shine-- as both adventurers and miners pick, pick, pick away at us, we do not know, oh, Lord of Geo.

Zhongli frowns, digging deeper and deeper within his connection with the earth. Deeper and deeper still, until he can find each speck of dust and soot by name. Until he can see his allies by the Geo energy emitted by the imperceptible dusting of earth on their bodies.

He speaks once more, urging the stones to sense their surrounding not just by the seismic sense that the natural world has on their forms but to open their eyes-- to see how their once-god saw the world around himself.

"Where is my god?"

The dirt in the breeze dances and twirls-- god, my god, rejoice! We have been graced by our Divine Overseer's touch!

The pure Geo energy shaped curiously like a person roils and churns-- god, my god, rejoice! We have been graced by our Divine Overseer's call!

The pillars shake with glee-- god, my god, rejoice! We have been graced by our Divine Overseer's will!

In the distance, Zhongli could both hear and feel the crumbling and collapsing of multiple of Huaguang's pillars. No-- rather, he himself were the crumbling pillars, stone stelai kneeling before their almighty god. He surfaces, weakening his connection and clearing his mind from the pure and unadulterated Geo that had overtaken him. Shaking away the desire to kowtow that he presumes is from the stone pillars (though he wouldn't be surprised if it came from deep buried instincts), Zhongli rouses to the image of the group waiting for him at the lip of their alcove.

Wanderer plays with a dark and karma tinted thread of Anemo. "I have a slight feeling I know exactly where y/n is."

-

You groan, having landed in a tangled feathery heap. You cough, waving away at the dust in the air as you try to take in your surroundings. Key word here being try, as you come to realize that the pillars had collapsed on top of you to perfectly form a small and yet sizable cavern. A cavern, mind you, with no light source.

You blindly grope around and wave your hands in the air. "Man, it'd sure be nice if I could see." And would you look at that? The next few random rocks you wildly flailed around at were bright, glowing ores of Cor Lapis, covered so heavily in dust and soot that you couldn't see their light. Perk of being god, you suppose.

After using the weak lights of the ores to find others to light up your tiny enclosure, you finally drink in your surroundings. It wasn't much really-- just some rocks, rocks, more rocks, Xiao laying bloody and bruised on the floor, couple more rocks...

"Oh shit-- Xiao!"

You rush to his side, cradling his head in your hands as he groaned in pain. You sucked in a breath, examining the rest of his body. It wasn't anything too major, thank goodness, but it was clear that when you landed, he took the brunt of the damage. You take a few breaths to calm down the rising panic in your chest. He might've wanted to skin you alive and turn you into a nice fur coat for that face-stealing copycat, but he doesn't have to die for it.

You dab away at the blood and dust beginning to cake his many wounds, Barbara's teachings echoing in the back of your mind.

He doesn't have to die. He doesn't know the truth.

You empty the small bottle of water into your now dirty cloth, wiping and cleaning away at the blood and grime on his body. A small frown forms as you stare at the heavily bleeding cut on his head. You know from Barbara's many lectures and the times you got really deep into Wikipedia articles at 3 am, that head wounds bleed heavily. When your head gets damaged, it bleeds much more compared to any other body part and that's normal. That's fine and okay.

But knowledge of things doesn't usually help irrational fears, as you turn his head to try and treat it. But you don't get much further than turning it to face you, as you are immediately met with the cold sting of metal on your neck. Xiao glares at you, gaze fierce but taut. "I don't know what you're playing at, but I assure you I won't fall for it."

You immediately freeze like a deer in headlights. "I wasn't trying to do anything!-- I mean I was, but it's nothing bad! I promise!" You and your hands are frozen still on the sides of his face as you watch his expression go through dozens of emotions you can't quite place. You'd love to look away, but the gentle pressure of the small dagger at your neck is quick to dissuade that idea.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally settles on a sort of neutral but piercing glare. "What were you trying to do then." Your gaze drops from his face, a red heat rising to your face. "There's a cut on your head. It's bleeding a lot and... and I got worried. I know head wounds do that, bleed a lot, but... but still. I got worried."

You could feel his gaze searching your slowly heating face. But you didn't care about that, eyes slowly drifting towards the blood and the wounds on his body. Fuck, couldn't you do anything right? If you took a different route like Nantianmen, or hadn't nagged the group for a break, or played into your rumors to tease him out or something, none of this would've ever happened. You wouldn't have gotten so close to dying multiple times, you wouldn't have almost killed Xiao when you begged Teyvat for help, you wouldn't have to complicate Zhongli's feelings with Xiao and the adepti and--

You take a breath, wet and slow.

And you wouldn't have your old guitar back. And you wouldn't have learned to at least control a tiny bit of your abilities. Wouldn't have given them the rest they so rightfully deserved and needed. Wouldn't have bantered or brought a smile to your friends faces.

In the end, there's no use to wondering and worrying about "what if"s and "could've been"s. The only thing you can do now is to make the best of what you've got.

A sharp hiss takes you out of your silent musing, Xiao attempting to sit up and failing. You barely register the lack of cold metal on your neck as you help him up, leaning him against the cavern wall. "Are, are you okay? I mean, you're obviously not-- you're fucking covered in blood, and bruises, and shit, but like-- you get what I mean yeah? Oh, speaking of!" You summon the first healing food that came to mind. Chicken Mushroom Skewers and a Sweet Madame. "I don't really have medical supplies but..."

You trail off, unsure if food having medicinal and magical healing properties is a normal thing. "...But I've found that having a full stomach helps?" Good save.

Xiao, whose mind has been roiling with confusion and contradictions and conflicting information this whole time, blinks at you in pained befuddlement. He clears his mind, or at least clears it as much as he can with a slight shake of his head. "It's... It's fine. Its just some mild bruising and minor injuries." Xiao stretches his wings in mild discomfort.

On a second thought, maybe those minor injuries weren't as minor as he thought, flinching hard at the pain that shot up his wing. Both of his wings. "Oh, shit! Are you okay?" "Don't touch me!" He slaps your hands away from where they were reaching out for his wings. Xiao scoots away from you, palming his dagger and glaring.

"Why are you suddenly acting like this?!" His Jade spear gleams in the soft light of the Cor Lapis, pointed at your neck. "Don't think your pretty words and silver tongue will worm its way into mind head and poison me like you did with Morax and the rest you've encountered!" The emotional whiplash and building conflict within him reached its breaking point. "Who-- What-- What is your plan here? Helping me and keeping me alive will only bring you more problems in the future! You have had ample opportunity to remove a potential-- not even potential, actual problem in, in whatever grand scheme or plan you have!"

He's heaving now, the roiling emotions in his chest taking over. "Unless you plan to have all of Teyvat in the palm of your hand, having us all grovel and cower like a dog at a table, begging for scraps. But-- but what was that?! Rex La-- Morax-- Zhongli would never topple the pillars of Huaguang like that! And seeing how precious you are to him, he'd never risk it at the chance of ending you."

He'd dismissed his weapon in the middle of his rant, burying his hands in his hair; the confusion and doubt clashing with the conflicting thoughts and emotions within him.

"But earlier-- no sane person would fall for the show you displayed earlier, so clearly scheming and conniving with your little group. So it was-- so it was a trap, bait for me to get in and--and... it was, it was bait-- a trap. A--A trap for me, I--"

It hurt. It hurt so much. He's so lost, so confused. Rex-- No, Zhongli. Zhongli was right. What was their goal here? What does he not understand?

He pulls at his hair, roaring in frustration.

Archons, he wants to understand. He wants to know what mysteries and truths are hidden from him yet. He wants to understand why he follows them, why those... supposedly brainwashed people were so eager to lay down their lives, why his Almighty Overseer had ordered this manhunt so easily and readily at the first rumor that this lookalike existed? Why his body aches and screams with pain as the seed of doubt begins to bloom in his chest?

It hurts. It hurts so much.

It's not supposed to hurt.

He clutches at his chest, the rising tide of emotions within him having empowered his age-old karmic debt. It claws and roils deep within his skin, the corruption reaching for his very being. He chokes, something burning, and inky, and tar-like deep in his throat, the feeling of drowning not far behind. Distantly, he hears himself screaming.

He claws at himself-- at his drowning neck, at his arms and legs bound in ancient burning rage and agony, at the many small wounds leaking both blood and a searing ancient hate. He claws at his back, at his wings-- wishing to tear them off so that their shining beauty and wonder may not be tainted by his eons of sins crawling up his spine. He can feel the karma reaching for them, a tiny and pure and clean part of himself that he had hidden from it so thoroughly until now.

"My-- My wings!--" He chokes, on air or karma or blood, he doesn't know. "Not-- not my wings!"

He feels gentle hands in his hair, pulling his head to rest on something warm and soft. Tears and spit covered his face. It had never hurt this bad before.

Your hands were shaking with panic as you brushed your fingers into his hair, having at least laid his head on a bit of folded fabric. "Sh, sh, sh," you cooed into his ear. "Just-- just breathe. Listen to my voice. Focus on my voice." Your voice cracked. "Please."

Xiao's head turns slightly to you, as he shook and writhed on the floor. He was delirious enough to listen to you. You gulp.

As you brush his hair and whisper sweet nothings into his tear and spit streaked face, you wracked your mind for-- for something-- anything that could help. You take a breath. Another. Panicking won't solve anything. But its hard not to. You feel him clutch your hand like a life line.

You remember... you remember an old voiceline-- Zhongli telling the traveler to deliver some painkillers to him. But-- no, that won't help right now. Zhongli isn't here, and you don't have the painkillers. Hell, you didn't even know how to make those painkillers. What else, what else...

Your eyes scanned the cavern, trying to find something that would spark an idea-- something that could help. Xiao whimpers in your arms. "Please... hurts... so much..." "I'm trying Xiao, just-- just hang on a little longer and you'll be okay, I promise." Come on, come on-- isn't there a character story or piece of lore that could help? Character story... lore...

You know what to do. You just weren't sure if it'd work.

You let go of him, resting his head back on the scrap of cloth you laid out for him. He whines in pain, reaching out for you but you let go of him nonetheless. "Sh, sh, sh... I'm here, I'm here, shhh... you'll be okay, it won't hurt anymore I promise."

You bring out your guitar, still more like a stone statuette than an actual guitar. You still weren't sure this was going to work, but it has to. It needs to. Its going to.

You take a breath, close your eyes, and call upon the Geo within you. Right now, this is just you and your guitar and your captive audience. No life-threatening dangers and prejudices, just you, and your music, and your avid listener.

You strum your hands across the strings.

"Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do,"

The notes ring out inside the cavern, the Cor Lapis almost pulsing with the sound.

"Do-mi-so-do,"

Despite the grim situation, you couldn't help the smile that creeps onto your face. You brush your hands onto the strings once more.

"Isn't it pretty?"

The ores seem to shine brighter in response. Your voice changes to match the next line.

"...how exceedingly simple."

Memories of an old but beloved show fill your mind.

"Do-mi-so-ti,"

Xiao's labored breathing slows.

"We're making music!"

Another strum.

"What is the point?"

You couldn't help the sudden beaming smile on your worn and worried face at his words. His breathing is still heavy, curling up into himself in pain.

"You're not-- making anything."

You could almost see it, back on your couch watching the show as this not so exact scene plays out on screen.

"Well, if it isn't anything, then why does it sound so good?"

He breathes, long, and hard, and deep; the pain is slowly subsiding from his body.

"I suppose its just interest,"

He ignores the tiny voice in his head, reminding him of the first time a god had calmed the karma within him.

"Do-mi-so-do,"

You keep playing the simple tune, memories of acting out certain scenes and songs with friends rising from the depths of your mind.

"Devoid of substance or purpose, a hypothetical pattern,"

Xiao lays there, still curled up on the floor.

"Do-mi-so-ti,"

He lays a wing over himself.

"For the satisfaction of bringing it to completion."

Xiao blinks. The weight of the karma on his chest is gone.

"Sure."

You try to remember the rest of the chords to the song, playing a little with the fingering.

"Do-mi-so-ti."

He tightens his curled position.

"Interest without meaning?"

Even the small pains from his scratches and bruises have faded.

"Solutions without problems?"

Despite the turmoil building up once again within him, you keep strumming at your guitar.

"And then you just add words!"

The words flow from your mouth easily, having sung this song thousands of times in a different life.

"Here's what I've been working on."

Xiao watches as your fingers skillfully fly on the guitar as you take a breath to sing.

"Life and death and love and birth,"

Oddly enough...

"And peace and war on the planet Earth."

Despite all the turmoil and confusion...

"Is there anything that's worth more,"

And his Overseer's warning to not fall for this impostor's trickery...

"Than peace and love on the planet Earth? Ooh-woah,"

He feels at ease with you.

"Come on and sing it with me!"

You were genuinely offering, despite it being the actual lyrics.

"Sing?"

Xiao raises an eyebrow, choosing to sort out... everything later.

"The words relate to the key,"

You smile, both to him and to yourself. No wonder your first Vessel was the Traveler.

"Key?"

You lean back, fingers still strumming on the strings of your guitar.

"If its a pattern, if its a pattern, then just repeat after me!"

You were just so full of love and wonder for this world. Steadfast, and strong-willed, and even willing to break bread, or in this case share a song, with a sworn enemy.

-

Life and death and love and birth,

Zhongli couldn't help but break into a small grin, the rocks and stones singing to him in your voice. With a small nudge to the Geo around him, they sung louder, loud enough for the group to hear.

Life and death and love and birth,

"Is that guy... singing along?!" Diluc huffed from where he was being carried by the Wanderer. "...yeah, okay, at this point I probably shouldn't be surprised anymore."

Now you sing mi-fa-mi-mi-fa-mi-ti-la,

Barbara cradled a singing rock in her hands from where she sat upon Zhongli's dust cloud. "...I think it's selfish of me to want to hoard them all to ourselves and just travel Teyvat like this."

And peace and war on the planet Earth!

Zhongli watches as his Memory of Dust endlessly locked and unlocked itself, using it to pilot the dust cloud they're to their destination. He stares ahead as she continues her musing. "...And I think y/n feels the same way too."

-

You clap with glee as he sings along.

"Yes, yes, that's it!"

Xiao scoffs, tentatively sitting up. He shoots you a look when he sees the flash of worry on your face.

"That's so easy."

You focus back on your playing, glad that it helped. You can already tell that you're gonna have a crazy freakout session after... all of this.

"Yeah, but that's what's fun about it,"

Your fingers flowed with ease on the strings, a perfect replica of the ones you have back home where they were once just stone. You have a feeling you're gonna go ballistic about this too.

"You should write something, you should write a song!"

Just like earlier, despite the suggestion being literally lyrics the in the song, you're genuinely asking.

"About what?"

You couldn't help but giggle to yourself at the curious but eager lilt in his voice.

"Whatever your thinking!"

You watch as a look takes over his face for a moment. He steels himself and sighs. Singing always helps release some pent-up emotions in your experience, so for someone with a special relationship with them like Xiao, it must be a huge relief.

He opens his mouth to sing.

-

I guess we're already here,

Zhongli watches as the Wanderer and Diluc finally reach them, a perfectly shaped dome in the middle of all this rubble and destruction.

I guess we already know,

Backing up to gain some momentum, Wanderer suddenly zooms forward and throws Diluc at the geode they're about to crack open.

We've all got something to fear,

Speeding like a bullet, he throws back his claymore and with a mighty scream and a mighty heft, he is set alight by Dawn. "Your verdict is--!"

We've all got nowhere to go,

The geode is sliced open, Dawn dancing and rising up into the sky. Zhongli waves his hand, his Memory pulsing with light, and the cut-off lid is caught by almost spiderweb-like threads of pure Geo.

There was nothing Xiao could do as the two of them were rushed by a sudden burst of Hydro and Anemo energy, the resulting Swirl preventing him from doing anything.

I think you're all insane,

You're whisked off into the Wanderer's arms, both of you zipping up high into the sky where the rest of your ragtag team is waiting upon Zhongli's dust cloud.

But I guess I am too,

Wanderer nods at him but before anything happens, you raise your hand. "Its fine. You don't have to do anything." The four of them share a look. "I have a feeling he won't follow us outta here."

Anybody would be if they were stuck in Teyvat with you.

After a beat of silence, they relent. The dust cloud churns as Zhongli takes you and the gang far and away from here. "Your 'feelings' have never failed us before." The Wanderer groans as he tilts his head back in annoyance. "And it shouldn't fuckin' start now, asshole. Do you even have any idea the hassle we have to do just to get you every time you get kidnapped?!"

You chuckle, fluent in the Wanderer's special type of emotionally constipated way of speaking. "Thank you for caring Wanderer. And I'm sorry for worrying you." You turn to the rest of the group. "All of you. I... I really am." The Wanderer merely scoffs and looks away. Diluc nods and says, "It's alright. Just... do try to not worry us too much next time yeah?" You smile. Despite it all, you smile.

"Ahahaha, yeah!"

Barbara tackles you in a tight hug. You eagerly reciprocate.

Life and death and love and birth and,

"I hadn't realized until now-- are the rocks singing?!" Zhongli, having sat down with his legs crossed, hands you a pebble. "It was the fastest way we confirmed you're alright."

Life and death and love and birth and,

"I know I should be used to it at this point with all the wacky-ass shit we encounter, but I'm still not over you making the 'Guardian Yaksha' sing!" Wanderer exclaims. You giggle, a memory popping up as fresh as day. "Well, it didn't take me much you get you to sing. And on our first meeting too!"

Life and death and love and birth and,

The two of you bicker as Barbara tries to mediate and Zhongli focuses back on whisking you all away. Diluc looks down at the destruction they caused in Huaguang, the cut open cavern of your geode like a glittering clamshell in the afternoon sun. He could barely make out Xiao's silhouette amidst all the Cor Lapis and Crystal Ore.

Peace and war on the planet Earth.

Satisfied that he wouldn't and/or couldn't follow them, Diluc turns back to the rest of you, the bickering having turned into friendly playfighting and banter. He looks at you and notices something amiss. He chuckles, getting everyones attention. "We went through all of that for your guitar, and you didn't even manage to save it." "Oh, no no no, I have it right here!" With a flash of light, you summon your guitar. It's looking awfully like the zither you bought at Liyue. "...Goddammit."

Is there anything that's worth more?

Xiao would like to say that you'd all left him in a daze when you ambushed him, but really... He'd been caught up in your words. Your song. Too caught up in the things that happened to him during your song.

Is there anything that's worth more?

Still in disbelief of his now unblemished and uninjured form, he goes over to your... stringed instrument. A guitar, his mind supplies, having remembered watching that fiery one's "rock and roll" concert after realizing that the strange activity he saw was just her and her people setting up a small venue.

Is there anything that's worth more?

He runs his finger across the strings, simple notes coming up to greet his ears. He shouldn't be surprised, songs are merely the beautiful weavings of simple notes coming together. Not unlike his once-Grand Marshal's battle tactics coming to fruition. Not unlike your schemes that his Divine Overseer claims you have.

Xiao turns his gaze to the skies, the cloud of dust you all so quickly arrived in now long gone.

Than peace and love on the planet Earth?

He does not follow.

---

AAAAAAAAND DONE! oh my fucking god this took forever to write IKLRHeSTgHEKRGJK-- literally took me a year or so to finish AHJAHAHA Honestly the real struggle here was finding the time to write since like-- i already had the whole story in my head, i just needed to translate it into words.

Well... not really? It was more like i had a guideline for how i wanted this to go, its just that when i started writing thats when i put in the details lol

also there's some parts there that i think like... drag a little aka the part where y/n is panicking and trying to think of a solution for the problem-- i wanted it to take a while and for y/n to form a thought process that ended in the natural conclusion of figuring out a solution to their problem. Id LIKE to think i did p well at that part but like im not too sureeeeeeeee

also-- THE AMOUNT OF SET UP JUST TO GET TO THE SONG PART-- THE SONG IS BARELY EVEN PART OF THE STORY AHAHAHHAHAHAHA-- now that, im COMPLETELY UNAPOLOGETIC FOR AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

oh yeah-- i already said this before but there is gonna be a rough-ish timeline for the Playlist so if i ever write a fic where y/n cant do this but in the other fic can do it-- just trust me theres a timeline, its probably before the event that made y/n able to do it lol

id add more a/ns but like-- my brain is mush and i can finally publish this so im gonna stop here. oh right-- i did mention this is gonna be a two parter, so the next part in this will be the immediate aftermath, exploring Xiao's POV of the situation and his thoughts. I wanna say that itll be short but uh. Considering my track record, thats not gonna happen. thanks for reading yall :))

[imagination-overreaction]

I haven't done an official intro post, and I have no idea what to write here, so...

Hello!

I'm Shrub! I'm an adult, and I use it/he pronouns, no particular preference

Here's some stuff about me!

Things I like, in no particular order:

Team Fortress 2, drawing, Undertale, Deltarune, Blue Eye Samurai, Faith: The Unholy Trinity, FNaF (to some extent), embroidery, Buckshot Roulette, The Arcana (I love to hate it), Will Wood, plant symbolism, SCP (kinda) (mostly just the idea of it), Gravity Falls, Stardew Valley, Empress Theresa (I love to hate it)

How many OCs do I have?

143 147. If you ever wanna know about one, just give me a number and I'll be more than happy to share about that one (or the one after that if that one is boring). I have been coming up with fake guys for about 5 years now, and with all my works-in progress there is going to be more.

Characters are tagged as #oc-name

What am I working on?

The biggest ones are tagged on this post, but if you want more detailed descriptions...

A short story based on "Cabinet Man" by Lemon Demon, from the perspective of the maintenence man that looked inside that thing.

My longest official project that I'm still not 100% sure what format I'll be publishing in: A choose-your-own adventure set in the realm of the fae where you play as Mina, who just tripped into this world and has to get out alive.

Another longer project: A (hopefully) novel titled The Faceless King. It's lower priority, but I have a lot of characters crafted and a lot of setting made, so I might show off some of it.

Short stories (or a long one? Haven't decided) about my OC Chase, a bold and stubborn idiot that bought a really, really cheap house. The house is a demon. Near-death shenanigans ensue, but he is too bull-headed to let some peeling paint get the best of him.

An AU about the same stubborn idiot becoming a Fazbear franchisee. Near-death shenanigans ensue, but with enough duct tape and common sense, anything is possible.

A shorter, personal, sorta-vent-y project utilising the Software Automatic Mouth, as well as a couple of other projects using SAM.

A series of short stories about my OC Abe, an android created by a deity, and how he interacts with himself and the world around him.

The longest silly goofy project that can and will never be finished, where I take my OC Xavier, toss him head-first into whatever media I like at the moment, and make his celestial partners go find him in a sadistic game of cat-and-mouse. Might post some of this if I have parts I really like.

Any questions about the above things are welcome, and I have so many more characters that I'll probably talk about eventually too! I'm still getting the hang of actually posting to tumblr instead of watching and spam-reblogging from the sidelines, but I do plan on posting at least semi-regularly once I can properly wrangly my executive dysfunction.

If you read this far, thank you! I hope you have a good day :]

[blazingstaro]

FREEBIE QUESTION, BUT IT'S FOR ALL OF YOUR FANDOM CHARACTERS AND ORIGINAL CHARACTERS

SPILL THE TEA TO ME, SIS!!!

HFJSI GIRRRLLLL YOU'RE OPENING PANDORA'S BOX

In terms of main Kirby OCs (fandom/franchise characters):

Eave, Twyla, Fintan, Slinx, Squire, King Orpheus, Jesse, Ducky and the Dusters, Princess Alatariel, Nimue & Gilroy, and Malacai

I love all my goobers to pieces! And Orpheus, oh Orpheus has taken over my life. I no longer have control over my story because of him. It's his story now, and I'm the lowly servant who's constantly subjected to his demands for me to rewrite things 😭 I've rewritten his intro episode at least 5 times, and now he's injected himself into DotS:MMM. Orpheus PLEASE I NEED A BREAK— I WAS JUST FINISHING PART 6 IN SCRIPT FORMAT YOU JERK

Thia man's made me rewrite his ENTIRE BACKSTORY THREE TIMES! And now I have to rewrite his WHOLE NOVEL SERIES. YES THE WHOLE NOVEL DEDICATED TO JUST HIM. I have to rewrite it from THE GROUND UP. JUST AS I FINISHED CHAPTER 2.

CHAPTER 2 HAS BEEN COMPLETELY SLAMMED OUT OF CANON. I spent 4 months writing it and he just went "mmmm nah, not canon". 20+ pages. TWENTY. PLUS. PAGES. Right in the trash. Gone. Reduced to atoms. I love Orpheus. But he likes to make me work. I'm not allowed to relax 😭 and what's worse is that's also in character for him 😭😭😭😭 I can't control this man, he controls MEEEE *SOB*

Woes aside– Main official characters that I manage in DotS are the following:

Meta Knight, Galacta Knight, Sir/King Arthur, Magolor, Kirby (shared), and Bandana Waddle Dee (shared)

My sis and co-writer @starlightfyre handles other officials in our AU! She's got King Dedede, Taranza, all of Arthur's knights (Falspar, Dragato, etc.), and more!

They're all pretty neat! :D

Original character and original content rambling below the cut here, if anyone is interested in my OG projects:

In terms of active proper OCs, my main cast has been demoted to just being doodle buddies and officially retired from being a series. All my OCs are sorta on standby until I have some story ideas for them! My mains under World Jumpers are these goobers:

Oswald, Tempest, Blaize, Asoné, Raymond, and Xylea! Ozzy and Tempest are the protagonists with the rest being secondary!

I've wrestled with their story for so long that I decided to throw in the towel and admit defeat early this year. It's been 14 long years with these guys collectively, and no actual plot or meaning to their story? Yeah no time to shelve it for good. I have a very fleshed out world for them, but it's really detailed to the point where it's kinda convoluted, but it's been set in stone for so long that I can't undo it without shattering everything

So I figured it'd just be better to start fresh with something else later. I love WJ, but after the history I've had with WJ, it's better that I leave it to rest. The world and story was too big for just me, and I tried for years to find a partner as passionate about the world as I was, but none were. I lost my passion after getting burned out due to stress writing and drawing everything. I love WJ, love my characters and world, but it's a story that never wanted to be told

Since then I've sort of been at a loss on what to do next in terms of original projects. I've got loads of WIP ideas and concepts from over the years, but none have really jumped up at me like DotS has for years 😭

I have a lot of OCs, like A LOT. I had a list and there's like easily 100+ named characters in WJ's universe alone

The others are much smaller! These are all my WIP OG stories:

Project: "Listen" | Animated anthro film inspired by "Cats Don't Dance", focuses on Kaeden who is a mute genet whose dream is to be an actor, despite having a job as a director easily lined up for him. Faces a bit of adversity in a market that hankers for a voice; he becomes friends with a frustrated actress who's been locked into the same kind of roles for years, and wishes to do more, who becomes a voice for Kaeden when he needs it most (I aspire to have an actual deaf/mute person be Kaeden's voice through sign language, since animators will nees references for his dialogue; they'll be put in the credits as his voice because they are! LOVE!)

Project: "Dragon Rider" | Sort of a chosen-one story with a twist, focuses on the struggle between duty and desire. Female protagonist is the prophesized reincarnation of a figure that's meant to bring her tribe into a new golden age, but when she bonds with an unexpected and common kind of dragon (and not the big gaudy one they expected), she faces a dilemma: follow the wishes of her people or her own heart?

Project: "Willemina" | Sci-fi detective story that was originally a spinoff of WJ, so it's set in the same universe. Main protag is non-binary hoomin (human-like species of mine), Willemina, a former space ranger gone private detective investigating the mysterious murder of a local guardian. Will befriends the late guardian's companion, a sweet little Weapon Spirit, and sets out to solve the mystery together (and discovering said weapon spirit's very useful defensive abilities)

Most everyone from each respective story has concept art or complete designs!

[electricbluebutterflies]

weird question but i basically went through the entire leto/jessica tag in a 2 day fever dream spiral after seeing dune 2 last month & i commented on absolutely nothing... if one were to go back through and read stuff in an actually coherent manner/leave comments, where should i start with your stuff? <3

Lol, how do I sort 300k worth of fic... let's do this with commentary!! I do have other stuff but we're ignoring some of it!

never listen but i see it with my eyes closed is the fever-dream of a canon-divergent fix-it fic I wrote (mostly) in December 2021 / my life was Actively On Fire at the time and it shows. First thing I wrote for the babes and I do side-eye some of my characterization choices in hindsight but... they were new to me and I was trying. Only longfic I've ever managed to finish.

one bright moment is all i ask is a throwback to a fic format that was popular circa like 2016 and one of the most fun little things I've written. (As you will see, everything is my favorite.)

shoot for the memory so you can forget me is a missing scene that can be blamed on a few things, but mostly the fact that that was the moment when I became Insufferable in a relatively packed movie theater. (There is Lore related to how this fandom spiral happened to me and it comes up kinda frequently...)

take his body as a relic to be canonized - the summary I posted on ao3 for this is "last thoughts of a dying man" and it is EXACTLY what it says on the tin. I broke my informal personal rule against writing death scenes for this one and I think I hit the fucked-up gorgeousness of it.

nothing in the world - the knife-kink fic, another thing that haunts me forever. There's a little context that I think is in the notes, but it's very... not the kind of content I usually write and I do love it.

give you my wild - the rituals fic, take 2. The original version of that concept was courtesy of an ex who I broke up with BECAUSE of this spiral (long story); this, written about a year later, is a softer version and twice as long.

prompt-comps, in order: i hope my love was someone else's solid ground, i never fall outside of love, i'd live and die for moments that we stole, sit awake until the wild feelings leave you (current / active one). This is where most of my fic HAPPENS / I like doing prompts that people send me, there's something about the responsiveness that works well for my process. I format them in sets of 50 for housekeeping purposes. Mostly canon'verse, occasional modern AU / me kicking myself for not writing as much modern AU as I want, "moments that we stole" has a few segments of a different canon-divergent AU that I need to do more with...

pillars - my new favorite and I'm not saying anything about it beyond that I wrote something I have spent two and a half years avoiding and it only broke me once.

[ddeongies]

Maybe she should’ve moved slower in the moment because of that, but one taste of Ryujin had made her heady with desire.

- new challenge: try not to say green flag yeji every chapter u put out --> AND I FAIL EVERY SINGLE TIME.

If she’d known she was just looking for a hookup (or two maybe, at least two would be nice) she might’ve made a move earlier.

- they're not even hooking up yet and she's already bargaining in her head lmao queen of bargaining !

Sure, it’s not really what Yeji wants, but she’s too aware of her own feelings at this point to pretend like she’s not willing to be with Ryujin in whatever capacity she wants.

- wow i want to smack both of their heads (lovingly ofc 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰)

2HWANG BFFS!!! so cute so cute ugh and god yeji all rounder in all universes like damn leave us some

yezyizhere: oh ok so you saw it once, didn’t think about it, and came back to watch it again?

yezyizhere: compliment accepted ;)

- one thing about yeji, even though she's kinda devastated that ryujin only wants casual, she will never pass up the chance to show off her yerizzma

iamfinethankyouandryu: you’re fucking hot

iamfinethankyouandryu: happy?

- SCREAAAAAAMIIIING !!!!!!! ryujin you're just like me 🫂🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Ryujin? Hoodie? Bed?

- i'm sure yeji is not the only who let out a sound around here 🙋‍♀️

ugh as u said, this chapter, short and sweet. i'm a big fan of the texting format bc of the short, flirty banters and the thrill of waiting for the replies. 🙂‍↕️ yeji this whole chapter: is this real...? such a mood. u definitely captured the awkward flirty texting stage after a life-altering event and before getting together and the phase of suddenly becoming active on social media just so ur crush could notice u. i miss those times...HAHAHA anyway, thanks for this one and choreo au update as well. i hope work and irl stuff gets manageable soon! have a great weekend ahead!

ps. omg the tropes i asked before and no worries if it took long! i love how we almost have the same favorites!! established relationships for one shots u are so right 🙂‍↕️ another one to add would be friends with benefits (a plus if it's not too angsty for no reason) and generally i'm a sucker for fluff!!

- 🌼

i have a meme i keep meaning to make about nmau yeji being a green flag but i'm lazy.... i'll do it one day tho i just need to edit an image LMAO (but yes she's the best i love her so much....)

girl knows what she wants (ryujin. she wants ryujin LOL)

they're idiots 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

yeah it's impossible to write yeji without her being good at everything (except for cooking) like i can't ignore the source material!!! (also yes 2hwang besties couldn't resist, nmau yeji has her bros)

she can't resist the rizz... it's in her blood it's in her dna (even all the way back in the cafe when she thought yunjin and ryu were dating she fucking winked at ryu she's impossible LOL)

ryu gets it yeji is fucking hot 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

girl literally short circuited like i think ryujin almost killed her???

i honestly had such a blast writing this chapter!!! it was kind of nice going for something a bit different and light after the rollercoaster of chapters 8 and 9 lol. it also ended up being really important for the relationship i think. i love the awkward flirting stage it's so fun to write. i both miss it and don't LOL it's so fun and exhilarating but also god i love being married LMAO. and thank you!! i'm gonna be on vacation this week and it's much needed 😮‍💨

okay yessss i love a good fwb when it's not like overly angsty exactly. like you can't have that without some pining and miscommunication and stuff, but i like when that leans more on the fluff than on the characters being sad (but that's just how i am in general i'm not really an angst person (ignore choreo that's out of character)) fluff is god

[curatoroffiction]

hey curator!

I was wondering how you keep things organized in large stories (such as Deja Vu). I am having TWST au ideas, and I'm getting a little overwhelmed trying to figure out how everything would tie together and how to keep it organized.

seeing how well fleshed out Deja Vu is inspired me a bit to try my hand at writing. even if I never share it, I'd like to make an attempt.

Ah! That sounds really exciting! To all my followers looking for some TWST content, definitely keep an eye out on this person's stuff. As for organization, I have a few systems in place. First, to organize information, I have an entire document labeled "Stuff you want to touch on and don't want to forget" - And it's FILLED with information that's quickly and easily accessible to me. The series didn't start off with that though, so my disorganization might actually be easier to see in earlier chapters if you look closely enough! I did try to fix my major inconsistencies when I went through and re-formatted everything though. It really helps with organizing my thoughts and details so I don't have to re-read old chapters, which is what I was doing originally. It also makes sure to keep me from making major inconsistencies, because as I'm writing, I can go "Now wait a second, MC experiences time at a different rate than the demons in devildom. They wouldn't normally be awake at noon-" and I can make adjustments to the chapters I'm writing so they stay aligned with all the stuff I've already formulated. Things will still slip through the cracks with this method though, especially as your stories get bigger! I highly recommend organizing within your document, so you have areas appropriately dedicated to different segments of story details. Some good organization sections I recommend: - World Lore (Important details about the world and how it works, that aren't established in cannon) - Loose Ends (Things you've left hanging that you plan to pick up later, but don't want to make your chapters too long, or you want to do this in the background.) - Key Relationship Moments (Any moments that benefit or damage the relationships between characters, so you can make sure you're writing more consistent relationship dynamics and not forgetting any weird things you left hanging, or any important segments that need to be addressed.) (I would HIGHLY recommend organizing this one by characters, so you can skip over to "Has Riddle had any weird or notable moments with anyone that would be a fun callback in this chapter?" without having to re-read every character interaction you've ever written for that series, lmfaooo) You can definitely add more or less segments to fit your writing style, but these ones have helped me a TON. Secondly, the other organization system I have in place is how I write chapters. I save them all as separate chapters instead of writing into one massive document. This helps me organize my thoughts by the chapter instead of getting lost in all the other stuff I've written. This also allows me to reframe a chapter I've written as "First draft", "Second draft", ect.. and completely re-write the chapters without getting rid of anything I've written in case I want to use it. In a similar vein, I have a master document that holds ALL of my cut content from my Deja Vu series, which allows me to edit very strictly so that the flow for each chapter is a lot better than when I started writing, and I don't lose any of those things. There's so much that gets dropped on the cutting room floor for my Deja Vu series, which can be really hard for me, so I tuck it all away so I can always come back to it later. The last two are more of an "Organization for an easily-scrambled brain" kinda advice, but I do hope that helps you on your writing journey! Thank you for reaching out!

[bonefall]

Interacting on this blog is so fun, it kinda feels like you’re the official author of the Warrior Cats series (you should be) and we’re just in the back popping out comments and suggestions. Like this is an actual story we’re all participating in. Anyways, here’s a few questions.

1. When you finish revising and rewriting everything, will you post the entire rewritten Warriors AU out? Like in wiki format or like explained through each timeline?

2. What are some parts of the canon Warrior Cats series you want to straight up delete? Or any part you are majorly wanting to rewrite but have currently no idea how?

3. Will the characters in the Bonefall Rewrite be changed slightly? A big thing I noticed and one of the reasons that caused me to stop reading the canon Warrior Cats series was the amount of lack of diversity, especially within characters. And I mean, every arc is like the same thing, copy and pasted and changed slightly. What irks me is how completely boring a lot of the characters are. Now, their backstories and plot are fine, but you know the artistic phrase “same face syndrome”? It’s like that but same personality. For example, a lot of the deputies are the same (“Oh wow I can’t believe I’m deputy! / “Oh no, my leader’s dead I’m so nervous to be clan leader!” / “I’m the deputy this faced with lots of hard decisions!” and etc.) and especially the leaders (“I’m so excited-surprised-confident-positive to be leader” / “I’m now stern, serious and respected). It’s a bit of an self indulgent person irk of mine but I really like it when a character has a personality and doesn’t change all that much. I quite like Firestar because becoming, warrior/deputy/leader never changed his values or personality too much. A lot of interesting characters once their arc is over just reverts to “background character personality” and it’s so frustrating. Also, on this note I really like personalities who directly contradict / doesn’t seem to fit what the character’s role in the clan is but it works well with it anyways.

4. Follow up to the last one, is there any plans for characters staying longer in arcs? Most characters have their time to shine for one arc and then becomes generic background character. Maybe we can bring old main characters to have a little more spotlight in the recent series? Like, not enough to have them be too noticeable but still enough so we can remember their notable personalities and the fact that they used to be main characters? I don’t think I explain it well here.

When you interact with this blog, you are coming to the workshop meeting where the writing team is spitballing ideas all at a big table. We all have coffee and snacks, as well

I like to think of it like we're all fixing it together, and I'm just the one who puts the stamp of approval on it in the end. I wish I'd picked a different name when I first started out to kinda reflect that-- I've thought of changing the name to Better Bones but at this point, Bonefall Rewrite is pretty established

When you finish revising and rewriting everything, will you post the entire rewritten Warriors AU out? Like in wiki format or like explained through each timeline?

A wiki sounds like fun, especially because then people could contribute to it! Right now I'm trying to make an 'overview' post for each arc as it currently is, in my ongoing quest to Fix My Masterpost

Though, this rewrite is nowhere near done. I have bones for nearly every basic arc reduxed, but the only one that really has meat is Po3. A lot of it is also going to be told through false SEs that replace or revamp existing ones-- like, for example, Yellowfang's Secret is being replaced by Brokenstar's Cataclysm

Maybe I also need a 'roadmap' post...

What are some parts of the canon Warrior Cats series you want to straight up delete? Or any part you are majorly wanting to rewrite but have currently no idea how?

DotC. It's the one arc I have sworn that I will not be faithful to. I know a lot of people have love for this arc, and I DO see that and promise to keep as much of that good stuff as possible... but I honestly, deeply feel like the ancient lore it sets up is bad.

And it's inferior to the field guides, which aren't the best but at least they feel like foundation myths! Sooo much of Clan culture is literally poofed into existence by StarClan instead of evolving naturally, and I can't stay faithful to the arc if I have to write what the Erins refused to.

I can't. I care too much about the sociology of the Clans to abide by canon.

It's not even just the ancient lore, either. The whole arc grinds to a screeching halt because they put the Fourtrees Battle SMACK in the middle, just so they'd have space to force in a redemption arc. An arc for a character who had would never want that, using TWO extremely forgettable Just Plain Evil (+ foreigner) villains to frame his growth.

AND THEN he doesn't even improve!! Nope! He's only slightly less bad in the SEs than in the main arc itself, constantly starting battles and getting people killed because he consistently needs to control and bully people.

I think it's actually disgusting how hard DotC bends over to engage in abuse apologia. Brambleclaw on his own is bad enough without once physically assaulting anyone, but in DotC? BOTH of the suspects involved in fatally mauling Bumble, the battered housewife, get redemption. Tom, the abusive husband who abandons his children, gets to have an Honorable Death saving them later. Fucking yuck.

Anyway.

I want to keep the stuff that is good about it. River Ripple will have an expanded role. One Eye is becoming a god now. Thunder is going to be born with 3 legs. Clear Sky is both a villain and a highly respected founder. But I'm going at it with a VERY different mindset from how I approach the other arcs.

Will the characters in the Bonefall Rewrite be changed slightly? + is there any plans for characters staying longer in arcs?

Absolutely. I'm not afraid to shuffle personalities if it makes for a more interesting Clan or tells a better story.

I'm also willing to shuffle POVs around when an arc should be in the paws of someone else; for example, Breezepelt is a POV in Bonefall AVoS; Ivypool becomes a POV twice because she is now taking many of Bristlefrost's roles.

A sampling of characters with total personality revamps:

Brokenstar: Has an extremely strong sense of justice, no longer "pure evil." Will do ANYTHING for ShadowClan, but violently spiteful towards all other Clans.

Runningnose: Broken's loyal and beloved dark advisor who communicates with the Dark Forest on a regular basis. Comes up with all sorts of twisted schemes.

Spottedleaf: Kind and dark-humored with a morbid fascination for death and forbidden magic. Like a big sister to Fireheart. Becomes a rogue StarClan warrior, acting more on her own behalf than theirs.

Lizardstripe: Old friend of Bluestar's, a bad parent but not in an emotionally abusive sort of way (more of a, 'girl please stop taking your children into the woods' way).

I'm also looking to completely revamp Sorreltail and/or Ferncloud, since they both blend into each other and the nursery deserves just as much attention to character dynamics as the warrior's den.

This doesn't even count the characters who aren't completely changed but were tweaked, like Jayfeather the battle medic, Sol who's actually a god and a mortal in a trench coat, Hawkfrost with his redemption arc, ALL of the Dark Forest trainees who're getting fleshed out across OotS and AVoS... or characters who didn't have personalities being given ones, like Marshkit and Darkstar.

Plus, of course, some characters die earlier, or don't die until later, and I don't do off-screen unceremonious greencough deaths.

I also plan to try to keep character personalities in mind even for minor things. Instead of picking names at random to shout out, "I <3 Xenophobia!" at clan meetings, each character has a 'political profile' of sorts.

Plumstone is aligned with Fire Alone. Sparkpelt bends Traditionalist. Thornclaw covertly follows Thistle Law. Scourge/Iceheart thinks naming is an important custom and doesn't approve of Millie's choice to keep hers. Poppyfrost wasn't political until Bramblefake exploited the code and now she's hard in favor of the Clan's Rights replacing the Leader's Rights. So on.

[hyperbolicgrinch]

Teehee,,, here she comes,,, to ask,,, questionnnnnsss, (no pressure of course bestie) 1, 5, 12, 13, 16, 25, 29, 33 and 34 !!! But no pressure to anything!!! no pressure to answer either <3 I’m on laptop so this is a v boring ask i apologise it won't let em format this at all :(

There she is!!!! To ask questions!!! (Bless you for fighting the laptop to send me these, ilysm 💕)

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

I simply can't. It's impossible. I never look directly at my writing so I don't know her well enough 😂

Okay, fine, fine, she's mid, that's what I'll say?? So ⭐⭐ ?? Not doing anything spectacular but gets the job done more than not?

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Maybe my All Out!!! requested ones because I actually finished and posted them, which was a miracle 😌✌️

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

Honestly I'm really excited about a silly modern university One Piece au I'm sort of doing on the side sometimes when I need a breather from other fics. Even though I've barely written anything officially for it, it's a cumulation of all my sister's and my 2am ramblings and silly little biased ideas and I just really wanna bring them to life so she can read them. 😂

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Ooo, if my memory serves right it was One Piece or Supernatural. I didn't ever finish or publish any of them but yeah- gateway drugs.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Let me think, what's at the top of my head right now...

Argh, I guess I like when arseholes catch feelings for each other but still stay arseholes about it adsfggh 😅

Ohhhh and where one of them gets injured or beat up or whatever and the other dickhead is like "tell me who did this to you" while cradling their face or something hnggg 😳👉👈

Or when they've been complete dicks to each other but one of them turns up on the doorstep of the other cause they had nowhere else to go and then they have to deal with each other and they fall in luvvvv 😏

I also really am a bitch for the bastard is in love with and pining for other character (in fiction!!! In fiction!!!!). ugh if done right and pulled off well (in fiction!!!! In fiction!!!), I am unfortunately on the edge of my seat 🫣

Love me a bitch that gets jealous and starts acting out too (in fiction!!!!!) because as a bitch that do get jealous (not to that level, I am not pulling that crap, I promise) it speaks to me a little ngl 🫢

Ooooo and the fuck the whole world, I choose you thing. Like if they damn the whole world for their person/people then I'm there. I'm right there. It's gotta be done right thooooo but to be fair, it's pretty hard to mess up 😌

Okay gonna stop outing myself on main because I could go on adafgdhjy and just end with, not really a guilty pleasure, just a pleasure, but if there's a forehead press I am on the floor every time. The chef's are kissing with tongue!! Nothing like a forehead press!!! 😍

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

Okay so the big One Piece one I'm working on atm, I keep having an urge to make a sequel after it that let's me kinda do a fix it au and teams the characters up again for a joint revenge plot. I can see it in my mind but making it work is going to be a lot. Still love to daydream about it tho 😂

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Hmm. Well atm I'm writing a lot of seggs and I'm not that (pun intended) jazed about writing it because it's not really my thing or in my wheelhouse, so that might count?

Don't know how it turned out cause it ain't finished yet but pray for me. It's a slog but the uglies must be bumped, I guess (instantly regrets saying that) 🙃

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I'd need an audience first, pfftt 🤭

Nah, um, that it takes literal years and none of that shit is written in order. It's all an illusion, babbeyyy!!

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

Crikey okay everything I'm writing at the moment is pissing me off so here's something I wrote in like 2016 and haven't touched since but that I think about often (even if I would change most of it today) because of a compliment I got on it. 😙

(It was for a Zoro pov zolu ficlet after the timeskip meet up when all the crew gets back together again in One Piece because that arc always leaves me with some damn big feelings and they have to go somewhere 👁️👄👁️)

"I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"

And he will be.

And Zoro will be there when he does, because oh, he's not leaving this thundering feeling for anything in the world ever again.

He shuts his one good eye, and smiles.

The heavens will hear Luffy's name long before they ever hear his own.

[lazaruspiss]

your ship, character and fandom opinions are so based. i'm also a poly robin shipper so it's nice to see there are more of us here. anyway, i'd love to hear what are your all time favorite dc ships and why, and if you have any headcanons (sfw and nsfw) about them. or you can just ramble about any fic ideas you have, the ones you've mentioned already are very interesting.

thank u for the compliments and also the many things to talk about!! <3 mwah! (readmore added bc of length)

picking a favorite ship is so hard, because im a multishipper and real big on leaving my options open so that i have the most opportunity in any given story!! like, brudick and sladick are both ones i love for dark stories, but they each give such different angles and paths that you can take. all combinations of robins are dear to me for different reasons. and even within the context of one ship, i can usually come up with a lot of different directions that they can go it!!

i can't even say "X is my favorite for Y types of stories" because with a good pairing theres so much you can do with a variety of types of stories!! so. def cant pick a favorite, but i can list some that i like! they mostly involve Dick, bc my biases are quite obivious, lol.

Dick ships: Bruce, Slade, Talia, Slade/Talia, Tim, Jason, Steph, Damian (but it depends a lot on context, i see Dick as being very careful about not taking advantage), any poly robins combo, Slade/Rose, Tara

other ships: Slade/Rose, Slade/Talia, any robins together, Bruce/Talia (but only if Talia is having daddy issues about it), Nyssa/Talia (Nyssa repeatedly kills and revives her to make her understand her anger at Ra's. the rituals. they're intricate i swear-)(but also in arkham knight Nyssa compares her love for Talia to Bruce's explicitly romantic love for Talia and i've never been normal about that), any combo of the Al Ghuls tbh they're so mentally ill about each other

so uhhhhhh. really you could pitch any Dick ship at me and get me talking. if anyone wants to ask about that list ur welcome to lol

fic ideas!!! i have some shorter ones, like a Blackfire/Robin non-con based on that one scene from tt03, but i kinda wanna take this chance to ramble about my longer ideas!

u may have seen some of these, but i have a series called "days without incident" which is a bunch of shorter than usual fics stringing together random semi canon compliant scenes of Dick being in dangerous sexual situations, which are eventually going to end in a rlly angsty fic of Dick being assaulted and just accepting it. it sounds dark, and it is, but due to the length and format they really just serve as quick writing warm-ups more than anything.

DIDick AU. a friend of mine has been on the receiving end of so many DMs of me fleshing out these alter OCs, to the point that it would feel weird if I didn't write anything for it. the problem is that when I think about it, it all revolves around characters and there's no real plot line to use for it. I could just rant about it, bc figuring out what I want to do for a story about them is really tricky. it's also tough bc it's a teeny bit more personal than I usually go for. do /I/ have DID? unclear. I probably wouldn't tell you either way. anyways, it's an idea i want to more with but it's just more complicated to work on than most others.

suicide fic. "Where The Dead Stay Dead", title in reference to this being in a "Jason Stays Dead AU". i want to take a sort of dark comedy direction, but i have trouble controlling how the tone ends up when I write. Dick tries to kill himself post Jason's death + many other bad times but Slade just happens to pop in to try and bother him that day, and is uh. he doesn't know how to feel about it, the kid dying in front of him, but he drags Dick to a safe house and does some made-up comic book science fuckery to give Dick his healing factor. Dick is not very happy about this when he wakes up. the rest of the story follows an arrangement where Dick searches for a way to perma die and is generally a depressed grumpy bitch about everything, and Slade secretly tries to get him to stop doing that while trying to figure out a way to revive Jason. whichever ends up being easier. a lot of it would probably just be about Slade feeling lost with this "new" version of Dick, as well as the two of them swapping stories about dead loved ones and learning how to mourn.

timcel fic. that was the placeholder title, before i settled on "Nature's Order (As Told From Alpha To Beta)", but i still call it the timcel fic for short <3 the alpha in that title is Ra's, and the beta is Tim. the kick off for the story is that Ra's kidnaps omega Dick to use as a human incubator bc he and Talia had a spat that's left him heir-less, and he kidnaps Tim to make Dick more compliant. it's a really extreme take on "right wing alpha male pipeline, but omegaverse". it's gonna be a lot of bad times for Dick <3 i've talked about it so much with my friend that one time they mentioned basing smth partially off of Nature's Order Tim, and I think that's a good sign that I should really be writing this properly at this point. I have started chapter one! but bc it's gonna be a long one I want to get three chapters done before I start posting, bc having a few extra chapters written will help with my nerves a bit.