#this is more beautiful than anything i could've imagined honestly

[wataeicentric]

THEM. YOU AGREE?

[loubombshell]

Imagine Nikolai being drunk.

Nikolai Lantsov x Fem!Reader

It was a beautiful evening. The sun started to set, turning the entire sky into a beautiful red while the ocean reflected the color. A refreshing breeze blew trough y/n's hair, making her take a deep breath from the salty taste of the wind. Her eyes followed the wind, that filled their sail. Most of the time a Squaller was responsible for the wind, carrying them around the ocean, but right now they had enough of it to sail on their own. Y/n sat on a bench near the railing just enjoying the view and the sound of the waves.

A shadow walked up behind her and sat down next to her, one on her left and one on her right. The girl turned around and looked at Tolya and Tamar joining her.

"Do you need anything from me?" She asked with a little smirk.

"Don't act like we just come around when we need something." Tolya scoffed.

"The last time you talked to me was- wait let me think." Y/n put a finger on her chin, pretending to really think. "Oh yes! It was when you lost your sword and thought Nikolai added it to his weapon collection." She chuckled about it.

Tamar laughed a bit about the conversation and put a hand on Y/n's shoulder.

"You're not completely wrong. It's about Nikolai, he and the whiskey got pretty close to each other- like really close." Tamar told her honestly and Y/n sighed a bit about it.

"On my way." Y/n added and made her way under deck. She didn't hear him singing old sailor songs, which is a good sign.

So far, so good.

The creaky door opened, revealing Nikolai's chambers. There was a desk, with different maps either drawn by him or getting ripped from a book. The lamps hanging from the ceiling swayed to the left and right with the rhythm of the waves, that were hitting the ship.

In the middle of it, Nikolai stumbling from left to right also with the direction of the waves. Y/n had to bite her lips a bit, trying to hold her laugh, she came in and closed the door behind her.

Nikolai turned around by the sound of the closing door, looking at his girlfriend standing in the room too, he let out a drunken smile.

"Y/n!" He raised his arms happily. "The girl of my dreams." He chuckled and walked towards her. "Whoops." He let out when he swayed pretty much to the left side.

"Princess of my Kingdom. My leading Star. Fire of my love and-" Nikolai called her and put both of his hands on her shoulders, as soon as he reached her.

Y/n crossed her arms infront if her chest and raised her eyebrows up. "Are you finished?" She stopped him.

"-and my little mermaid." He smirked and tapped her with a finger on her nose.

The girl was charmed by his words, even if he won't remember them the next day. She wanted to keep a straight face, but after his last sentence she lost it.

"I hope you know, that alcohol isn't good for you and your body." She told him honestly. "You're not going to get older than 40 when you keep doing." She added.

"Are you saying you're going to miss me in a few years then?" He smirked.

"Of course dumbass. I want to see your beautiful face in wrinkles." Y/n joked smirking.

Nikolai looked horrified to her and touched his own face.

"Oh no! I never thought of this." He admitted.

Y/n laughed even more about it. "Come on, let's get you to bed." She took his hand and lead him towards his bed.

"You could've just said so many minutes ago." Nikolai smirked but Y/n couldn't take him seriously with his drunk face. She just shook her head with a smile and pushed him into bed, helping him to take off the shoes and threw them into some corner of the room and sat down on the side of his mattress.

"Are you going to sing for me now?" Nikolai asked with a smirk and looked to her.

"If you want me to wake a shark up, sure." She told him smirking. She was a terrible singer, but she had her qualities elsewhere.

Nikolai chuckled a bit about it. "I can teach you, I'm a great singer." He smirked arrogant. "Do I get a goodnight kiss?" He leaned on his elbows.

Y/n rolled her eyes with a smirk and leaned towards, wanting to give him a little kiss to the cheek but in the last moment her turned his head and she kissed his lips instead. The girl didn't pull back, she stayed like this for a few seconds before ending the kiss with a smile.

"You taste like alcohol, idiot." She pushed him back into the pillow with a smirk and stood up again.

"You're not going to join me?" Nikolai asked her.

Y/n shook her head laughing. "Goodnight, Nikolai." She closed his door and walked over to the little cabinet with his liquors in it, she grabbed every bottle and walked upstairs again with the many bottles drowning every single one in the Sea.

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 6 Part 1

Welcome back to my liveblog! As a reminder, this is a re-read, so expect plenty of spoilers!

Don't intentionally spoil people or get thwacked in the face.

Huh. So they have been here for about a week. Makes Rin's exasperation even more understandable.

Wow, rude. I feel like if you actually knew her, that's kinda the last thing she would do. She hates eating weird stuff.

Batting 0 for 3 Maizuru. Honestly, I originally thought she was kind of a jerk, but between this and "Ninja Art: Babysitter", I think her observational skills are just really bad.

See? She doesn't have a clue why this is an atrocious idea.

I mean, it was an elf who was around during Delgal's day, and was using exceptionally potent ancient magic. Who the heck else would it be? Plus the orcs confirmed his identity. And of course Laios thinks Thistle is mad about the food.

Asebi is not amused.

Hmm... another depiction of the winged lion with horns. Also, there was no need to bring up the black magic. Marcille used a regular resurrection spell, just using ancient magic to boost the power level. If the dragon hadn't been soul-bound by Thistle, it would have gone without a hitch. People like to joke Marcille did nothing wrong, but in this one case, I think she was totally in the right. There is plenty of time for her to commit war crimes later.

Chilchuck: Gasp! You were drugging him!

Kabru is here for ALL the hot goss. From a distance.

I love how the canon explanation for why Faligon has feathers is that Dragons = Dinosaurs. It's like an atavism or something. Idk, it looks cool. Stop asking questions.

God. Marcille may be my favorite, but I relate so much to Laios. This chapter and the next are painful. (And I'm not talking about the part where everyone dies)

If only Chilchuck won the coin toss, we could've avoided this drama. (At least until Shuro saw Falin)

Now that's a trustworthy face if I ever saw one.

Well well well. If it isn't the consequences of my actions.

I know I just got done explaining that her actions were fine. Just let me be funny.

Eh, it's worth a try. It works in at least one alternate universe.

She's beauty, she's grace. She's gonna eat your face.

What's all the more heartbreaking is you get little moments where Falin shines through. She wants to pet the doggie! But then the dragon reasserts itself.

Even freakier, I think this is actually Falin too. You can see her pupils oscillate throughout this scene between normal, and elongated.

Like, I don't think it did that on purpose, but the dragon is more than happy to exploit the opening it creates.

Holm? Holm, are those golem cores? Have you been holding out on us?

Man, no wonder she freaks out. Imagine you've been a dragon for who knows how long, covered in scales of iron, and suddenly this dude manages to stab you five times like it's nothing. Heck, Laios just stabbed her in the foot with a normal sword. This dragon must be fearing for it's life like crazy.

Obligatory Whoa Hey!

An important image.

No you dummy. This is standard dungeon procedure. There's a reason healers like Holm and Falin wear those silly robes. So that they get priority resurrections.

Hold up a sec. My drama senses are tingling.

I am genuinely curious what this insult was in the original Japenese, if only because I can't see that coming from either of them.

You know, when I first read Dungeon Meshi, I kinda glossed over the secondary cast a lot. Hard not to when you have my attention span, and like two dozen characters. I didn't even notice the Asebi stuff.

I know people dunk on Toshiro a lot, but I really have to question his relationship with his retainers if a simple thank you and sorry elicits this sort of reaction. Honestly, I mostly get the impression that his dad isn't great, and Maizuru is too loyal to do anything about it.

I also have to wonder why he left Asebi behind. Did he just not want to bother? Or is he rethinking his whole relationship with his retainers, and is offhandedly giving her her freedom?

Like brother like sister.

Image limit reached! I'll be back in a bit. Need to get some meshi!

[sweatandwoe]

hello! ^u^

request for a terzo love confession fluff w/ gn reader, just need to feel smth lol

ty sm!! :D

I know you said fluff so there'll be a touch of that here, but I got an idea

Terzo x GN!Reader, Love Confession, Slight Angst, Fluff, Very very slight hint of Omega x Reader x Terzo

-

He needs to confess. It is not a want anymore, it is a need. The longing in his chest is becoming overwhelming, to the point he finds himself drifting into a gloomy state whenever he passes by your room.

Terzo is a man of passion. He never has a plan - he tends to just go with his heart, then his gut, and sometimes his head chimes in when he may be doing something far too stupid. Maybe that was why you hadn't spoken to him in the past week.

He can hear his head chiming in now, that the clergy will have his head for this. But he honestly doesn't care. The third Papa needs to tell you he loves you. Face to face.

The ghouls will help, they're already waiting outside your room. He knows they have probably lingered for some time now, guarding your door the moment he started to feel the need to confess. They always were aware when he was about to do something stupid.

He hopes you don't mind it. That you won't be too angry with him.

Your room is cold. Dark. Which wasn't a surprise, when he sees you laying on top of the plush bed. Flowers surround your head, and petals decorate the length of your body. There's a small shine from the glass coffin lid that keeps you fresh and contained.

He was glad he denied the burial to happen, a point of contention between himself and Imperator. You look like a fairytale in the coffin. Painted lips, a beautiful black robe covering your body. Your hands folded over your waist like you could've just been sleeping. If he flicks his gaze over you fast enough, he can almost pretend like there's a movement.

Almost.

Terzo is a man of action, and the ghouls help him. Drawing the runes in blood, guiding him in action. Omega watches over your corpse with such care, and Terzo knows how much the ghoul misses you as well. His clawed hands rest on your coffin, and he rests a gloved hand on top of the ghoul's hand, giving it a light squeeze before they're both ushered away to light more candles, or draw more runes.

The lid is removed and Terzo speaks words he knows he was forbidden to say. Similar ones he helped curse Nihil with, with his brothers so long ago.

But you'll last far longer than a song.

After it's all stated, he sits in silence for minutes. It's terrible. His chest aches, the longer he watches you remain still. Not a single twitch. And then -

You're gasping for air. Your eyes are so wide, blinking hard from the lights. He can't even imagine how dry your eyes feel now, and you're gazing around near blindly. There's a wildness to you that hadn't been present in life, but he moves his hand over to hold your own and you begin to calm.

"Terzo?" Your voice is rough, and he shushes you, gently. Leaning down to kiss your forehead and he holds your hand tightly.

"Don't speak, amore." He smiles at your wide eyes, and he moves to kiss your cheeks next too. Joy fills his chest, and he can't help but kiss everywhere he can right now, covering your face. Omega is the one who manages to pull him back when you start to feel overwhelmed. "Apologies, tesoro."

"Terzo... I-"

"I know." He holds your cheek, smiling down at you, quieting you again with a soft tone. Your voice sounds so rough, he doesn't think you should speak even though he wants to hear your voice. "And you're back now. It will never happen again. Not while I am here."

The ghouls surround the coffin. A protective barrier, as though the clergy would burst through at any moment. But they wouldn't know the spell had been performed until your living form left this room.

You sink into the coffin bed and glance at him. The fear is slowly leaving your eyes, and he holds your gaze. He will never let anything take you away again. Terzo will put his foot down, you will accompany him on tour if you must. Or he will threaten to retire-

Mist conjures up water, and helps you drink while Terzo keeps a close eye, Omega hovering behind him. Once you've drunk your fill, you look far more lively. A tension still resides in your shoulders.

"Why did you bring me back?" It's a whisper, but now it's one of shock, laced with worry, but at its core, he knows what it is - fear. "Terzo, they'll do worse than they did to me, to you, for this. You can't-"

"I have." He says it firmly because it is already done. There was no going back now. "I love you, tesoro. I couldn't stand to live without you." Leaning forward, he presses his forehead to your own. "The clergy can strip me of my Papacy. I don't care. I do not need to follow their rules to worship the Dark Lord. We can run away together, we can-"

You silence him, by touching his hand. Your fingers are warm now, and he never thought he'd relish so much into that. "I love you too."

His heart is full. He meets your eyes before you share one more kiss, before you whisper his name in question once more. "Yes, amore?"

You lean close to him and whisper, "Get me out of this fucking coffin, please."

With a laugh, he helps scoop you up. Putting you on your feet, but looping his arm around to steady you.

No matter what happens, Terzo doesn't think he could ever regret doing this.

Even if it does cost him everything.

[soracities]

(Public post ok on this one!) My love life is a bit strange. I have CPTSD and awful parents, which unfortunately screwed up my attachment style pretty badly. As a result, is very hard for me to fall in love. I found a way though, but not in a way you'd expected.

When I was in 8th grade, I came up with a character named Surge who was meant to be the physical embodiment of evil and darkness and it was through him I was able to channel a lot of my pain. He evolved over the years though, and in high school he became the guardian I so sorely needed when shit was hitting the fan at home. I very truly fell in love with this imaginary man and it was through him I could actually explore what it might mean to love and be loved since I had no good example of it at all in my life. It took time, both of us growing in out own ways, in part for me learning to accept I was deserving of love.

Most of this there was a sort of detachment I guess, like he was across a barrier and I could only imagine him being with me, not that he was there. Somehow that changed in summer of 2021 when I had top surgery, when I could actually feel him there with me, and ever since I have felt him right with me everyday. November 5 of that year I married him in VR surrounded by many friends who loved me and knew what I've been through, and knew that I needed him and was ultimately happy (minus cold feet for a couple days but that's pretty normal for a wedding from what I understand!)

I love him more than anything, he is the only person I don't have to force the words "I love you" out for. My therapists over the years have known about him and I and there have been no major concerns - he's actually pretty instrumental in therapy for me.

I don't have much of a purpose in sharing this I don't think and I wish I could've worded this more eloquently. You seemed like the right person to send this to because I am so filled with unmeasurable love for this person who exists within me. As much as I wish I could see him and feel his face against my hand, I consider myself so lucky that I have found love and peace inside myself that I have never been able to find anywhere else.

I guess my moral is you can find love in the most unexpected of places, and what's considered normal might not be what's best for you personally. Somehow, through my many years of struggling with self esteem and at times just hating myself, there was a part of me who loved me and protected me anyway - even when those in my life whose job it was to do so didn't - and his name is Surge. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

i have no words to say to this and nothing to add except that this so so utterly heartwarming and beautiful and i cannot begin to describe how happy it makes me that you have found love and support like this and been able to allow it to hold and carry you through so much. touched and honoured that you're sharing this and honestly my heart is just....absolutely adore you sm truly 💗💕💖💕💗💕

[niceness-before-knives]

Hi!

5, 33, and 49 for knives pls 👀

He seems awesome and i wanna know more about them

Ah! Thank you so much! :D This totally makes my day! <333

5. What was life like for Rook before joining the Veilguard?

In a word, carefree. Knives grew up in Treviso with his mother, who was something of a seer. She had been sent to Dairsmuid when her magic showed, and it was a good choice since it's definitely geared a bit more towards spirits. It wasn't an uncommon sight to see wisps and a spirit hanging around their small house.

Knives' father is something of a pirate too, so more often than not, he was out on the sea but where he made it back to Treviso, it was always like a little festival. Both of his parents are very carefree and wild souls, so life was honestly a series of followed whims.

(Minor tangent, but this is kind-of why Knives said yes when he got recruited by the Crows. Carefree is nice, but being aimless less so. And while the training was nothing short of torturous, working towards something that would be their own was its own odd delight.)

I imagine in the every day, Knives spent a lot of time wandering and working. His natural attitude feels very aimless and float-y, so he was great at staking out his contracts without tipping off people. Watching people in the every day is a big pastime of his, as well as visiting galleries and seeing local artists and bards at work. He's deeply fascinated by and a bit in love with life in every joyful and regretted moment. So, why not try to experience life in every shade, every color, every tone~

(Poor Solas is just trying to destroy the world he sees as such a mistake, and Knives is just waxing poetry about couples reuniting on the docks on Treviso in fervid and loud displays, effortlessly breaking up over coffee after thirty years of strain, a toddler imitating the bard in the market and 'how can you not see the beauty in all of that? Are you so blind in your own grief and doubt? It's beautiful, every rotting and every blossoming moment. Beautiful.')

33. What do fear demons look like to Rook?

Oh! This actually stumped me for a bit! o: Knives isn't terribly afraid of most things. He'd be in love with motions of terror just as much as anything else, as long as he saw a moment of relief in the future.

Like, Knives even thinks of the Hossberg Wetlands are beautiful in their own way, lol.

That being said, they doesn't enjoy thunderstorms at all much. As soon as they hear a clap of thunder or sees a flash in the sky, they're politely excusing themselves to go hide under something sturdy. It's all the stories their dad excitedly told, about storms at sea and the crashing waves and flooding lower decks and Knives' mind is like just 'nope'.

…which is when the actual fear lies. Being trapped. Knives' life has been very carefree, but his parents' less so. He's heard the stories about his mother's religious upbringing and the suffocating words she uses when she rants about it. Trapped. His father had a whole life planned out under the Qun, and then his magic showed up and he was called a Saarebas instead and his life ended all but ended until he escaped.

The idea of being trapped, to not be able to experience life, is honestly the definition of terror to Knives. So, it shouldn't be surprising that's what the fear demons draw from.

Stitched lips, bonded arms, small rooms, lights flickering through cracks in the walls. A denied life. A life Knives could've had if even one thing happened differently.

49. What will always make them laugh?

Oh my gosh! Knives laughs when he's happy, the purest form in love there is. So. Passion, just passion. Just, regale Knives with something that you find interesting and talk from the heart with passion and joy, and Knives is pure giggles and the quietest little laughters. It's so lovely? Look, there's a theme in these and it's Knives just loves to love. He loves seeing it in other people, eyes lighting up in delight and how many words get stumbled over in excitement, or all the pauses as someone tries to find the perfect way to explain.

…I think it sometimes (more than sometimes, maybe) comes off as rude, especially around new people, but it isn't to Knives. o: They're like half-way in love with you, and just can't contain the joy bubbling inside~~

And thank you again for the questions! I really do appreciate them. <3

[jtargaryen18]

Wait,I just saw an ask you answered about Waves That Beat on Heaven's Shore,for real? Seriously? You will continue it in 2024? It's 1st January already where I live as I was reading that and honestly it's the best news I could've ever read this New Year. I miss Waves so much,you have no idea ❤ I smiled,I giggled,I blushed,got butterflies in my stomach and I cried over Waves 💔 It's just so,so beautiful 😢❤ It's probably my favourite story ever and I'm so grateful to find it in my lifetime. I love it more than any romance/drama books I've ever read,they don't compare. AHIAR would be my number 2 favourite. I've probably re-read it more than 20 times. I even tried to "continue" it,in my personal notes,that I will never put out or have anybody read it except for myself (don't worry,I know that's wrong since the fic is yours,it's your work and property),like putting my own imagination and thoughts on how the story will continue,think of it as fanfiction of a fanfiction. And honestly,it's shit compared to your gift for writing. Trying to come up with suitable plots in my personal fanfiction of Waves made me realize it's actually really hard to write a story and even harder to write great ones and it made me appreciate writers like you more 🙏🏼 No pressure,as we all understand that real life always comes first no matter what. Only we ourselves know how busy we are in each of our personal lives'. Hell,I was busier in 2023 than I had been in 2022 or previous years,and it'll probably be busier and packed for me in 2024. You don't owe anyone anything and like someone already said to you here,no one's sponsoring or paying you,it's art and you should enjoy what you're doing,instead of feeling like you're pressured to do it ❤

And like the Waves anon said,even if you can't continue it,that's okay too ❤ Like the Waves anon,it'll be my 2023 Holidays gift wish as well. Even if you can't,I'll still love your other works and will keep an eye out for your future works ❤ Thank you so much for everything! ❤ For all the adventures you brought us through and all the feelings you gave us through your amazing stories! ❤ I really am grateful to find you and blessed myself with your talented writing 🙏🏼 Happy New Year to you and your family! ❤ Have a blessed New Year and may all your wishes and dreams come true in 2024 ❤ All the best and all the love in the world for you ❤❤❤

First of all, Happy New Year. 💕 I hope 2024 is good to you.

This note had me tearing up. It really did. Thank you for this. I mean it. 💕💕💕 And it resonated with me so much because...

You read correctly. I am picking Waves back up. I got sick over the holiday at the end of the year. I was there with the laptop after we got the kids down and I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep (cough). I went through all my files and I found the next chapter I'd started for Waves, so long ago. I really got upset at myself because after I read that, I went back to my notes. The outline. I love the story because it lets us keep up with Steve and his girl from Rage. I also have this twist in Waves that I was really proud of and I want to write it, damn it. So this is the year we're going to do it. 🙏

Also I wanted to say, don't dismiss your own writing so easily. I'll bet you're a good writer and I hope to get to read your work someday. 💕

Thank you so SO much for this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you 💕💕💕

[imsailorpluto]

True Beauty - spoilers; ep 1, 2

tw: bullying, violence, suixxxcide

Our main character is Lim Ju-kyung, a girl who's been bullied for her looks ever since she was a child. Everyone's belittling her, starting with her family, to school peers, she just can't catch a break. She's trying to make her life easier by going with the flow, but nothing seems to work.

Oh girl, looks are not the single most important thing, it's all about the attitude. Her teen life would have been so much better if she at least had some support from her own family. This show has already got me screaming "protect this child at all cost" (⁠╯⁠ರ⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠ರ⁠)⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

I'd put a large warning sign, for the first episode especially. It's a lot. I'm a grown up, and it triggered me so badly, honestly gave me so much anxiety. There are scenes of severe bullying: both harsh language and physical violence, which leads Ju-kyung to the point of wanting to end her own life by jumping off a building. Thankfully she gives up the idea in the last moment. Second episode also has a few scenes of bullying, so consider yourself warned. I'm pretty sure the whole series will be addressing this problem so it might not be for everyone, especially if you've been through something similar yourself.

If something like this ever crosses your mind, just please reach out to adult you can talk to, tell them about your problems and I promise they will help. Every reasonable adult will surely help. Just don't make the worst possible option. There is always a way out, a solution

Thankfully, everything worked out in her favour and, well, she didn't go through with it. I'm glad that dramas address bullying so seriously. Even though I am sure it brought back bad memories to lots of viewers, myself included, rasing awareness of tragedies which bullying causes is extremely important. If we ignore it, it won't magically disappear. It needs to be addressed and it needs to be prevented for real. People need to stop acting like the cave men.

Well, after that it all kind of went uphill, the drama dynamics changes, and it starts turning into a comedy. Thankfully, due to some other unfortunate events, our main ugly duckling changes her life completely. Her family is forced to move back to their old house, which is far far away from her bullies, and so she finally gets a transfer to another school. Oh and, she masters the art of make-up so well, that she becomes unrecognisable. To the point of becoming the beauty queen of her new school.

Even though my inner skin-care obsession is making me scream at the screen for her not going to a good dermatologist, because it's just her skin breaking out and that can easily be fixed and she could've live a stress-free life (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Anyways, seems like she made two really good friends. But bullies from the previous school left some serious scars on her. If you watched this, then the following screenshot will be more than familiar.

I almost cried at this. It literally hurts to watch this scene. Her friends are asking about food and her initial response is to rush and get them what they want. They're showing what it looks like when you've been victimised for so long by others, your responses become so f*cked up honestly. And there's so much repair you have to do afterwards. Make-up isn't enough.

Girl on the left is such a girlboss. She has her friends' back. I mean, she literally chased a perv and handed him over to the police. To help our girl. Loyalty level so high nobody can catch up... (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Hopefully she'll stay like that till the end. The one on the right is such a cinnamon roll. I can't imagine her doing anything bad to anyone. Hopefully they'll stick together and stay friends.

The main girlie is also actually a girlboss, she just needs to be reminded of it. Plus, she doesn't know it yet but being yourself is always the best option, no matter what. It's too bad they don't teach us that at schools.

I mean, come on, heavy metal and horrors? We'd sooo be besties in high school. Personality over looks, always!

Of course this can't go right without the main male lead, Lee Su-ho. He's the guy on that second screenshot, taken from a scene when he "rescues" our main girl. She can't see him though as her glasses got knocked off her face, but he memorises her bare face well. It becomes obvious he lost a friend to sui*ide. And as we find out later on, he is extremely smart, does martial arts and lives separately from his dad. That makes no sense at first but then we also find out his dad is the world's greatest a**hole. So, yeah, there's a lot of baggage from his side as well.

Well, soon enough things start to get complicated, as expected, Su-ho ends up being Ju-kyung's new classmate who enjoys long walks to her favourite comic store. So, now she has to do all these silly things just so he doesn't find out her true identity. You know, it happens also that she goes with no make up to the comic store but with full face to school and the poor guy has zero clue that the new girl at school and the comic girl(the girl he saved) are the same person.

I wonder how long will hiding the truth work out. Judging by our girlie's character, not too long (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) but it's all right.

I almost forgot about the second male lead, Han Seo-jun. He's the "bad boy", but I bet he's actually the main cinnamon roll of this series. It's just ... a kdrama thing, let's say.

Of course his motorcycle helmet is now owned by our main girl, don't even ask how, just go watch this precious kdrama.

Till next time, Sailor Pluto

♡

P.s. I know many watched True Beauty because Eunwoo is starring, I didn't even know he's such a big deal in Korea, ooops, i hope you don't get mad at me for saying that. In my defence I really don't know much about Korean scene, I know maybe 5 k-pop songs from groups that probably no longer exist, and I watch kdramas because I find them more funny and relaxing than what's usually available. So. That is it. Hope you enjoyed these scribbles. If you made it till here - thank you so much, feel free to leave me a message with your suggestions and drama recommendations. xo

[asteracaea]

What’s your favourite song on Midnights and which one do you think is gayest?

hi anon thanks for the question ^_^

i am sooooo madly in love with midnights, i just adore every single song so it's hard for me to choose just one! also i really love the way they all flow into each other so my mind almost doesn't even separate them. it's like one cohesive piece of work.

but to rave more specifically (and i'll try not to just list all of them lol) my top tracks today are mastermind, would've could've should've, question, bigger than the whole sky, vigilante shit, midnight rain (......ok i can see i'm just listing the whole album lol)

as for the GAYEST, hooooo boy! i feel like the 3am tracks are much more explicitly gay than the main album songs, which makes sense (possibility that fewer ppl will listen to "bonus tracks" ? or consider them part of the whole).

paris. "i want to transport you to somewhere the culture's clever, confess my truth in swooping sloping letters." i think that says it all.

glitch, omg, i don't know how a person could hear this beauty as anything other than about a woman falling in love with another woman (and specifically taylor falling in love with her alliterate model who KODES : GLITCH!!?) "we were supposed to be just friends" but oops she hates accidents except when they went from friends to this 🤭 "i'll go back to wanting dudes who give nothing" "i thought we had no chance" (cause they're both girls and they shouldn't) "i was supposed to sweat you out" makes me think of "fever dream high in the quiet of the night" in cruel summer which i think is about the same story. i imagine her being told by a higher-up to get over this infatuation a la harold zidler telling satine to get over christian in moulin rouge because he's bad for business and it can't be allowed to become something real. (that was an image i'd had simmering for a while) and then of course there's the ridiculously specific "2190 days" which if you haven't heard what we calculated that matching up to, give it a look ☺️😉

"a brief interruption, a slight malfunction, i'd go back to wanting dudes who give nothing, i thought we had no chance and that's romance (let's dance)" ohhhh it's just so goddamn sexy in a forbidden sapphic love way that ahhh 🫠 i cannot get over it!! taylor alison swift wrote this song recorded it and put it on an album skfjekiwkendjk

as for would've could've should've, i'm as gaylor as they come but i honestly hear this song as about a man. it's funny, i honestly feel like her most scathing angry rageful vicious songs are about men (and the tender lovely deep foreverlove ones are about women lol it's just my gut!). definitely in part because of the age 19/dear john reference, but also because of the unfairness of misogynist society "if i was some paint did it splatter on a promising grown man?" a how there are endless instances of older men hurting younger women, romantically or reputationally or other.

however, one day i decided to listen to it with my gay-ears and it was QUITE interesting !! it is full of religious guilt imagery, sinning and pondering her own accountability in that, as well as blaming the other person for "ruining" her. it's an extremely powerful interpretation, imo, even though there are details in the beginning that don't fit. but hey, she's added hetwashing details to other songs (like dress, betty, love story, etc) that would be SUPER undeniably gay if she hadn't thrown those things in, so! that hasn't stopped me from hearing deliciously overt queerness in her songs before, and i hope it won't stop you because it is so so interesting to listen to it that way!

i must wrap this up but i could talk for daysssss about midnights, so perhaps i'll add on to this in the future ☺️

[here2bbtstrash]

This is not a fic request or anything, I just wanted to say a certain things to you, I have read almost all of your works and honestly can't say anything other than the fact that you are such an amazing writer not just plot line is amazing, you actually have the real writing skills, your way of formulating and presenting the story is so professional that it gives me thoughts that you must be into this very field in real life too, you have literally the skills that's needed and here's what I wanted to say exactly, LDOMLT is insanely amazing, I mean the smut and storyline is awsm but after reading the last chapter there's only one thing I can say and that's you are a great writer because any writer can write the beautiful emotions but when someone holds the power to make you cry with their work I guess that's the real talent, honestly I love that story so much the way you have used so much of real information into making yoongi's character is giving the vibes that this isn't just a fic and I absolutely love that.

I admire your skills and thank you for putting forward such a great story before us, take care, don't forget to take time for yourself.

Sending some purple hearts 💜 💜💜💜💜💜

oh my gosh!!!! this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺 i am actually in... entirely the opposite field IRL lmao, i'm a computer science girlie 💅 however i've been interested in writing my entire life and have always been drawn to various forms of creative expression and consumption. SO i like to think that's helped me develop these skills over time! i love writing but i worry having it as a full-time job might suck all the joy out of it tbh 💜 but at least my skills help me write good emails???? lmfao 🤣

ahhhhh wow 😭 your words about LDOMLT are so kind. i know it was a tone shift for the series but i'm very grateful for those of y'all who are trusting the process and waiting to see how it all turns out. writing flawed characters and trying to infuse honest emotion into the story was always a part of the plan! i'm just honored there are so many people along for the ride, more than i ever could've imagined 🙇‍♀️ so i'm really trying to make this ending as perfect as i can!! 💜

this is such a kind message and then to end it by reminding me to take time for myself too 🥺 i'm emotional. you're so lovely, thank you so much for sending this and sharing your thoughts with me my dear!!! it genuinely means the world 💜 BORAHAE!!!!

[h-pelessly]

May Reads

Books I Read this month;

Heathen & Honeysuckle by Sarah A Bailey (8/10) This is my first Sarah A Bailey book. I genuinely thought this was her debut novel which absolutely blew me away because it was honestly very descriptive and beautiful.  Besides the stress on the amount of ARCs that I have/had, I still had a good time. I loved the flashbacks which made me feel comfortable and at home (I am an ocean girlie after all) but the second chance part was unrealistic (like how are you gonna tell me over a decade, a MAN will never forget and dedicate his life to a girl that left him in the middle of the night a literal decade?) Like it’s very romantic don’t get me wrong, but it’s crazy how whipped Leo was for Darby. Darby was very boring like straight-edged, and she really needed Leo, but just hearing about her lifestyle made me feel stuck (small town vibes.) ALSO, I love that Leo calls Darby honeysuckle like that’s such a cute nickname, but like??? He tells her her mouth is deadly from the moment they meet like HUH???? I was under the impression the spice was spicing, but regardless, the story is chef’s kiss. Unrealistic but sweet like honeysuckle.

The Lies We Tell by Cassandra Diviak (6.9/10) This was an ARC read. I’ve never read anything from the author before, but I was happy to give indie authors a chance. Although the tropes caught my attention, the book was kind of boring. I couldn’t connect to the characters. Maybe it was just the fact that they were a part of the higher economic status and seemed (uncharacteristically) proper, and my stigma on stuck up higher class people. I also dislike the poor vs rich trope. I mean it isn’t that bad considering I have a manuscript kind of using that trope, but some times the trope really bothers me. It was fake dating, but maybe I just couldn’t see the sparks between the two as well. It was a slow burn which I don’t mind, but like I was saying, there was no tension between the two in my opinion so it was so boring. But the ending had so much sex like damn yall are like bunnies. ANYWAYS, I feel bad, but I could NOT connect at all.

Same Time Next Year by Tessa Bailey (6/10) I felt bad for this being such a low review, but it was a novella and hence it being short, so much was left out in addition to it not making sense. It was fun and tension filled, but Google could've been Miss. Bailey's friend through all this. Yeah, it was romance filled, but at what cost? Not only was the MMC, Sumner, not hot, but the FMC, Britta, was a walking red flag. Sumner was described to look like a thumb, but he was also creepy. Like how tf are you gonna tell me he got off to the imagined image of Britta walking down the aisle holding flowers? If that doesn't scare just EVERYONE, I'll be damned. Maybe that makes me a walking red flag also. However, Britta doesn't want even a relationship because she's so assured it will fail. It is understandable, but Miss Girl needs therapy not a husband. Yeah, I love the "my wife" microtrope, but the whole thing didn't make sense. They were about to make out in the immigration parking lot, and when seeing the officer, he says "I know the real deal when I see it" hello???????

Mile High by Liz Tomforde (6.5/10) only giving it a .5 more than the last one (although it is also a 2 stars on my GRs) because of mental health. Other than that, what the fuck was this. 5% in, I wanted to DNF because the MMC was so unattractive to me like Miss Liz could've threw in something instead of "I'm just a pro hockey player" and am always on the go and hookup. Like that's the go-to with pro sports and I am sick of it!!! At least give him some personality. NGL, it was an audiobook so the voice gave me the ick-- the reader sounded southern (which is a huge part of where I'm going.) Towards the middle, I realized he was black. I'm like ?????? WHAT?????? I did NOT get that, and that's such a bad writing technique in my opinion. I did live the FMC, Stevie, at first, but then her only personality became living in ragged sweats. Like???? hello make her more interesting. And the author kept writing her as having unmanagable hair. Then a quarter in, I realized that she's half black which makes sm sense of the author reading (which still sounds southern in my opinion, but it is what it is.) But the author describing her as having unmanagable hair????? A WHITE AUTHOR??? WILD. And their third act breakup was so stupid like at least in Consider Me, it was heartbreaking and believable. This was stupid like I know Stevie has a low self esteem, but like ???? did she not know what dating a pro sports player would entail? Also, he, whatever the fuck, Zanders, broke up with her like a toy and she was hurt over it even though SHE was the one hesitant to get with him in the first place? Makes sense tbh, but like have some self respect girl. And also, running from her problems??? The one who should be badass after putting up with her mom and ex's shit for so long? Also, as a mental health advocate, how could Zanders not see that Stevie needs a therapist more than a relationship? But ok.

Small Town Hero by Olivia Hayle (7/10) I thought this book was adorable. It was a sweet romance— I would say clean but I guess it’s more of a YA although they do kiss like a few times. The best friend’s brother/brother’s best friend trope enthralls me, but this book was slow for me. It was slow in the way that I could not connect to the characters. Maybe it’s because I didn’t read the previous book, but it wasn’t needed to understand it. Jamie, the FMC, was emotionally abused by an ex so she and their kid picked up and moved back to her small hometown. She runs into her ex best friend’s brother who is immediately in love with her. Parker, the MMC, always saw her beauty and admired her, but he kept his distance as a cool kid. I’m okay with this trope of cool guy/nerdy girl, but what I don’t understand is how Jamie, who was explained as a rulebreaker/strong girl succumbed to her ex. Like I know emotional abuse works, but how did she let it get so far if she were such a strong leader? Anyways, I love Parker. He’s so kind and patient with her. I hope as a single mom book, we saw more of the kid/boyfriend interaction, but it did well to skipping boring parts so we can see the MMC/FMC interact.

Hating the Player by Rebecca Jenshak (7.89/10) I don’t know why I expected Violet’s book to make me like Violet more, but absolutely not. She was so annoying and like I get that she’s a fashion student, but I was like dude this is so boring. Anyways, Gavin was the best part of this book. I like how calm and collected he was. I was so conflicted to like this book or not bc it’s enemies to lovers, second chance, no third act break up but VIOLET!!!! People were hating on Gavin bc how could he hook up if he believed Violet was the love of his life which I completely agree, but you can only do so much if the other person doesn’t want you. So I did like this book, but the FMC was annoying.

Hilarious by Jess Savage (6.9/10) I honestly don’t remember signing up for this ARC bc I haven’t read the last 3 books, but it is what it is. This is supposed to take place 5 years after the last book I guess so they are 23/24 now. Ella, one of the FMC, is to be wedded off after her stunt of declaring she was part of a throuple. When she admitted this five years ago, her family shunned her, and the only way to get back in their good graces was to carry on life as if it never happened without and stunts. In order to do this, Ella shuts out Jack, MMC, and Hailey, FMC. When she comes back, she runs into them and all her memories come back. I honestly don’t believe Ella ever loved the two. I think most of it is lust because she constantly talks about her parts tingling with the thought of them but like her heart??? There was no commitment when she says she loved them. Her mom was the worst, and though her dad was the one that originally shunned Ella, her mom makes a 360 at the end to accept her. Like ??? Nah, it’s because her mom is a clout chaser since the Stewarts no longer own the club. Ella will always be the mean girl to me. People say Hailey is annoying, but Ella literally exists like she chose her reputation. I get as a child you’re scared, but she had YEARS afterward to reconcile, and she still chose her homophobic parents. Jack is a lovesick idiot, and Hailey is always horny and has daddy issues.

The Teacher by Freida McFadden (7/10) Honestly I was confused about the plot of the story like I didn't know what we were going towards. I wasn't the biggest fan of the plot because it had a lot of cheating and SA, but Freida's writing is fast paced and easy to digest. I like the professor x student/forbidden love tropes, but this book gave me the biggest ick ever because not only was it a minor and a teacher, I was confused!!!!!1 This man, Nathaniel, gave me the biggest ick ever like he was obviously cheating on his wife which made him a big red flag, but also like he was "attractive" and all, but like how do we know. He was literally called "hot" and attractive, but like what was he like? Descriptors would help, but anyways, words wouldn't help him anyway because he is a child MOLESTER!!!!!11 Back to the story like Eve, the wife, wasn't a girls' girl and honestly shouldn't be an educator because like I get this girl got your mentor fired or whatever, but like to have a personal vendetta against someone half your age is insane. To add on, she made Adi's life miserable like what is this???? I get students being mean to her for this rumor, but a teacher???? No way, dude. Anyways, Eve was cheating on Nate all this time because the man wouldn't give Eve attention, whatnot. Then Nate becomes obsessed with Adi and yadiya, you know the gist. Then Adi accidentally kills Eve????? But Eve didn't die then Nate kills her???? Then Eve isn't dead yet????? How is this even real like what are the chances? And it turns out the guy Eve was cheating on was Adi's best friend?? Like HUH??? Is it a case of SAs all around or like what the fuck because like Hudson "Jay" is seen at school also???? HELLO?????

[ciar-galyna]

A Court of Shackles and Glass

Chapter One

Word Count : 2.8k

Warning(s) : None

Next Chapter

Lyphon

Everything is painfully dark in here. I can't see any of the walls of this damned prison, nor can I even hear anything, not even the whisper of a breeze. I haven't able to since I was locked inside this dreadful place. All my movements are restricted by chains linked to cuffs locked around my ankles, wrists, and wings. By now the feathers have definitely gone dull. No doubt Achlys will pout for weeks about his lost beauty and demand to find Gyn to fix his problems again. I won't lie though, finding Gyn immediately to fix whatever is wrong with me now sounds like a good idea. Assuming I'm even going to be freed from this hell.

It was certainly a bold move on Ulysse's part, a stupid one, but a bolder one than I'm sure any of us could've expected. While it cost us to underestimate him and his ambitions, it will cost him more once we've been freed. Especially when one of us is an expert in anatomy and tends to use psychological warfare more than her actual weapons. They used to say, probably ages ago, to never underestimate the wrath of a Mortis. I can only assume Ulysse went against that warning, since he didn't seem all that concerned about Great Grandpa and his love for his Great Grandchildren. I wouldn't be surprised if Great Grandpa killed him honestly. I'm half expecting to see a grave when we get home.

A sharp, faint ring echoes through this lifeless prison. One that makes my ears twitch, aching to hear anything else. What was the ringing caused by? Is the top finally opening? That makes me excited and afraid. I'll be exposed to light again, and I haven't seen anything remotely bright or dim for who knows how long. I'll need to find Gyn fast, she'll be able to heal any damage, and I'd rather not go blind instantly and eternally.

It feels like ages before there's another faint, echoing ring, followed by another and then another and then another. I have no idea what that sound could be. If it's people, I could be freed. If it's a beast...I'm basically a sitting duck. Damn you Ulysse and your rotten soul. Hissing, I look up, or at least what I think is up, it's hard to tell when everything is pitch black here. The sound is coming from above me, so I'm assuming, and hoping, that I'm not upside down right now. If I strain my ears enough, I can hear something like a voice, or voices. I can't make out exact words, but voices are better than growls or hisses.

A low, aching, and loud groan suddenly sounds, like ancient metal doors scraping and opening against each other, and right in my ears. I wince as I cover my ears, which does very little to help block out the noise, but it's better than nothing I suppose. The groaning on gets higher in pitch until a loud slam echoes in this prison, making my ears ring to the point I'm convinced they'll start bleeding at any moment. Light peers in from above, and despite it being moonlight, it still almost feels blinding. A few tears fall, my eyes burning despite my arms shielding my face now.

Sound floods in more clearly now, no doors are blocking my ears from the outside world. Voices whisper and gossip about what could be in the endless void that is the uncovered cube of ancient metals. Rumours begin to build about the markings on the outside being to protect anyone from a cursed creature inside, how they should shut the doors again. A sense of desperation builds at those words, and whether I know better or not, I call out.

"Don't shut the doors."

There are gasps, a few shrieks. My voice is a little rough from lack of use, but not as bad as I imagined it would be. Soft footsteps approach from above. Two more people have come to watch at the edge, to try and spot where I am. A soft breeze blows in, the coolness practically making me shudder. Wind, finally, I can feel something from outside. But the wind also carries the scents of the two newcomers. One smells of apples and a burning hearth, the other of rain and the earth. The rain and earth smell makes me tense, more alert. It's now I can sense the power, it may have been eternity, but I can still recognize the power and aura of a High Lord.

"Well well..so it appears there is someone down there. Who and what are you? What Court do you reign from?"

One of them speaks, I don't know who that is, but I don't think they're the High Lord, not that I'm feeling lucky at the moment. Still, giving them an answer can lessen suspicion, make me less..dangerous in their eyes maybe. Or, it can make it worse when they won't recognize my name and Court. One answer is better than no answer, if I give nothing they might close the doors, and here I have no windows.

"Lyphon Mortis, son of Erebus Mortis, late High Lord of the End Court, and the younger brother of Achlys and Gyn Mortis."

Silences follows, someone says something low enough I can't catch it. People start moving away, but the doors don't creak, so they're being left open. Something falls and whips the air in here a little, somewhere above my head. The voice from earlier speaks again.

"We're going to need more rope."

Gyn

The entirety of this massive prison groans, metal upset and screaming for whatever is happening to stop. I wince at the sound, but it's better than the random rush of water or incessant, rage-inducing dripping from behind me. My own bones almost groan with the prison, they've been aching for ages now, stuck in an uncomfortable, terrible position. Legs bent and sat on, torso leaning forward, arms stretched to the sides, and wings clamped shut. All limbs chained to the walls, my neck chained to the ceiling, but unable to move from the tightness of the cuffs and taughtness of the chains. My legs beg for me to stand, my back pleading for me to slouch or at least shift, and my precious wings just want to stretch and feel the wind against my feathers again. Oh what I'd give to fly again. And all of my body pleading for me to stop soaking in the water as high as my chest, nearly to my face at this point, some hair dangling and dipping into dark waters. The two wings on the lower end of my back is already half in the water, soaking and making me want to shiver again.

The prison wasn't always this water filled, but slowly it's built up. And given enough time, I'd likely be stuck here, eternally drowning but unable to die. True hell indeed.

With a groan the prison suddenly tilts backwards. Water rushes at me, drenching my entire body and leaving me holding my breath for a moment, then choking and spitting out water for another few. Unfortunately, despite gravity trying to pull me back into the water, now below me, the chains don't allow it, I'm dangling above the water. There's another groan and the prison rights itself, returning to it's original position. I wince and brace myself for the oncoming impact of the rushing, practically tidalwaving, water. There's a loud rush and a strong force hits my wings and head. I nearly black out, but I'm left awake, under water and with a nasty headache. I scream, the sound muffled by the water and turning to bubbles that rush to top. When the water sinks back to chest height my scream echoes, the shrill noise nearly deafening me.

I hack and cough as small droplets rise from my lungs and drip back into the dark, chilly water. I groan, head wanting to hang but instead making the collar choke me. With a wince I right my head again. Air blesses my lungs as the only good thing of today. What the hell was that just now anyways? I can only assume Ulysse made sure this prison was cast underwater, so maybe a large sea creature? No..maybe not..but what else could it be? This prison is ancient and massive, nothing small could move it.

I grunt as the prison moves again, this time there's a draggin sound by the doors ahead of me, something like..sand? Possibly dirt? My body shakes when the prison abruptly stops moving, the chains rattle and clink, swinging for a little bit. The ancient doors that keep me locked in here more than the chains open, light from the day floods in, reaching my knees. The darkness flees from the front, behind me probably becoming ever darker. The sudden brightness makes my vision go white, eyes burning with a pressure behind them that makes a strangled scream escape me. I struggle to turn, to look away, let my eyes adjust and not go blind instantly. A few hot, burning tears fall and quickly slide down my face and neck. All six wings flap violently, trying to free themselves and block the light, protect me, unfortunately it doesn't work. Gods it hurts. Another pained noise comes from my throat, something between a sob and a cry. As much as I'd love to feel embarassed right now, I don't have it in me.

Footsteps approach, swiftly, each one echoing in this hollow chamber. At the sound I realize most of the water has flooded out. Voices shout warnings and commands to stop, to back away and 'get away from them! They could be dangerous'. I wince, twisting my head again, skin scraping against the rough, damp, and cold collar around my neck. My arms pull and push, trying to cover my ears and eyes, it only makes them scrape badly against my shackles though. More tears flow and another mix of a sob and cry echoes in the prison. The footsteps approach faster until some of the light vanishes from my vision, the pressure behind my eyes easing away.

The smell of the sea and lotuses envelops me, catching me a little off guard. The stranger in front of me gently takes my face, turning it back to face forwards again. The first thing I see are bright turquoise eyes, concern is laced in them and I can't help but feel guilty. But at the same time, I'm a little captivated by their eyes. They're a beautiful turquoise, almost like they've captured the sea and trapped them in a pair of eyes. It almost catches my breath, and my wings almost flap a little. They smile slightly, which is when I notice the stranger's dark skin and white hair, I almost smile back.

"Be careful, you're going to hurt yourself..now can you tell me who you are? Where you're from maybe? Or why you're in here?..Do you understand me?"

His voice is soothing, almost melodic. I smile faintly, but for very briefly, I need to give him answers.

"I understand, don't worry. Thank you for the concern..my name is Gyn Mortis. My home is likely not a place you know of, but I'll say anyways. I am from the End Court, it is north of the Night Court. I am in here because my Father, it's former High Lord, died and my cousin imprisoned me and my two brothers in seperate prisons. Rumours had been going around that one of us would inherit the title, so out of jealousy he forced us into these. I do not know how long I have been in here and I can only guess where I am."

I end coughing after speaking. I haven't spoken in a while, nor this much. The stranger pats my back, chuckling a little while looking a bit surprised.

"Easy there, don't push yourself. And I'm sorry, you're right, I don't know of the End Court..but I will try to help you."

I smile a little, nodding and whispering thank you. He turns to call behind him, ordering for a blanket and a locksmith.

Achlys

The flame, small as one on a candle, seems as bright as the sun. I try not to wince or squint, acting like my eyes aren't ready to bleed at the brightness. I'll need to find Gyn, get her to make my feathers beautiful again and fix my broken, breaking eyes. But that'll have to wait until this jackass lets me go.

I sigh as the russet eyed, ruby haired male in front of me stares me down. He and some of his servants had found me and managed to get me out of the damned prison, which immediately returned itself home, no doubt family members will either shout for joy or throw a hissy fit when they're informed of the returned prison. The servants stand a few feet behind the male, heads all facing downwards, all of them apparently finding the dirt ground of the cave fascinating.

Russet eyes squats, the fire right between us now. I opted to sit rather than stand, it seemed more comfortable and I've already had to stand for who knows how long anyways; I was switched between standing and sitting every so often, but for the longest time now I had to stand, making my legs feel weak, tired, and stiff. I could swear he's smirking slightly. It's tempting to just slap him, maybe see how he reacts. I don't, of course, but it's nice imagining it happening.

"Well then, I've freed you, whatever you are. So you owe me one. Now you're going to kill my someone for me."

I narrow my eyes this time, almost tilting my head. If I didn't know any better I'd think I'd returned home with the prison. Of course I was only freed to be indebted to Russet Eyes. I hiss lowly, much to Russet's amusement.

"Don't look so pouty. It's only one life. Besides, it'll probably be easy for you. I doubt they locked up a human in something like your little prison." He smirks again, I almost scowl. "Don't tell me you're nothing but a weakling. Gods, I didn't save someone useless did I? What a waste of effort."

At that I nearly punch him, I'd certainly love the feeling of his face being broken by my fists, blood pouring everywhere. I almost smirk at the thought, that would be wonderful.

"Shut it. I have no doubts I am more powerful than you, nor do I have any doubts that my skill is greatly higher than yours."

He snorts as I stand, moving to leave. If someone hasn't already found my siblings, I might as well find them myself. He stands though, pressing a hand on my chest, just over my heart. A warmth builds until it's borderline burning and there's a chance my shirt is about to be set on fire or start smoking. I glare at him, cracking my neck as I flex my fingers. It's been some time, but now that I'm not trapped in that damning prison I can use my abilities again. It feels good to watch his daggers rise and hover a hair above his scalp, like some mock crown that could kill him at any moment. Though because of how long it's been it's not as stable, some of the daggers occasionally wobbling. Clenching my hands into fists the daggers fix themselves, staying still and perfectly angled to stab into his head. I'm going to need to practice more, make sure I'm back to my original skill and strength again.

Russet raises a brow, humming faintly. "What is your name?..You're not from here, are you?"

"If you're really so curious, red locks, it's Achlys. And I come from hell."

He bristles a little at the nickname, but snickers at my last answer. "Red locks..no. You can call me Fenix Vanserra, welcome to Hell 2.0."

~~~

Hello, thank you for reading this. Feel free to let me know what you think. Have a good day/night. You deserve to be happy.

~~~

P.S. This fanfic is available on Quotev and AO3

[therealbrigeedarocks]

shrek the musical

i gave it a second chance the other week when i was bingeing the shrek films because the first time around i didn't particularly like it

and then a third chance

and i still don't like it

but here i am, a week later, and i've watched it at least once every night since. and will continue to do so until it finally burns itself out of my system

i'm trying to pinpoint what it is exactly that i dislike about it.

some of the jokes/lyrics certainly haven't aged too well, particularly the bi-polar and tranny lines. yikes on a bike.

watching the recorded version makes me cringe imagining everyone had to have lost like 5 pounds through sweating every night thanks to all those heavy costumes and makeup

especially with the fur suit daniel breaker had to wear for donkey and the prosthetics/makeup for shrek and fiona, though in the latter cases for different reasons. brian d'arcy james had to have felt claustrophobic in that head piece with -i assume- embedded mics/headset. i also assume the ogre-fiona makeup involved telling sutton foster to close her eyes as they did a quick airbrush to her face for the changes between scenes

the short-lord farquaad work around had to be an absolute pain in the knees for christopher sieber though they had great comedic moments with the fake legs

i know this probably couldn't work with a more abstract interpretation of the characters ala the spongebob musical since the whole conceit of the show/movie/etc is how different shrek/ogres look but there had to be something easier that could've been done for the actors at least

out of the whole soundtrack, i find myself only really liking and relistening to 4 of the songs. so much so that all 4 of them have animatic ideas in my head already

brian d'arcy james blowing out the mic during the first lines of "i'm a believer" probs had more to do with the embedded mics in his costume than anything

THAT SAID

the faux-wood texture on pinocchio's costume was great. john tartaglia did a great job with the voice

honestly a lot of the costume design is great. the 3 bears outfits are probably my favorite of the chorus

daniel breaker taking every chance he could to prat fall was great

sutton foster dancing with the pied piper's rats was a simple but well executed idea

brian d'arcy james' faux scottish accent is infinitely more preferable to mike myers and no i'm not afraid to say it

the dragon puppet is amazing and i'm actually kind of mad it didn't get more stage time

hiding the orchestra pit within the stage is cool but also at the same time i can't help imagining how close some people came to tripping and beefing it right into the string section either during rehearsals or actual shows

i think this was well cast despite everything

overall, its watchable but like...it could've been better

absolute best part of the show: the way they just fucking hurl a large cow plushie as the cow that jumped over the moon is still my favorite gag of the show absolute worst part of the show: admittedly this could be due to editing for the recorded version, but how quickly farquaad yells BOO after shrek sings the "big beautiful world reprise" is fucking horrific timing. barely a beat passes before the last word is sung and the mocking began and honestly it ruins a sincere performance absolute worst part of the soundtrack: i don't know what moron decided to chop up "the travel song" for the official release that didn't include the part where shrek and donkey start singing the other's lyrics (reverse counterpoint? i don't know the technical name for it) but if i ever meet them they will be catching these hands

[tylrswfts]

Maybe, it was high praise -- but it also wasn't embellished either, honestly. She had lots of people in her life who cared for her and were people she'd consider thoughtful but, when she looked at the shelf life of her romantic history, most of those former suitors had fallen royally flat in every area that Travis had been able to so effortlessly pick up the pieces. It really was remarkable that he'd met her in such a broken state and found her worth pursuing despite it all; that was one of the many attributes of his that'd struck her in particular in those early days. "Are you kidding me?" She asked with a breathy laugh of disbelief. "You've made my entire year in one night, Travis. This is all I've wanted, all I could've asked for..." her voice trailed off as emotions had struck her again, and she couldn't help but press herself tighter against the warmth of his chest. "Me either," she eventually admitted with a breathy sigh, "you have no idea." She looked up at him with her signature smile on her face, though the one he got out of her was always a little softer than the one that ended up on magazine covers and jumbotron screens. "The intimacy of it is really special to me, I think," she said, merely thinking aloud, "with of course, inviting all of our people for the party of the year afterwards."

"Shut up," she teased, swatting playfully at his chest, "you know exactly what I meant. That long list of titles doesn't matter as much as being your girlfriend now, and anything else I become for us later. Those other jobs are temporary -- I can't do them for the rest of my life, and I reasonably know that despite the fact that I don't really want to make peace with that truth just yet. You're my forever. This is the greatest thing I'll ever accomplish -- loving you and being loved in return." She drank in his words as he spoke, nodding along as every syllable was woven with threads of truth. "You do the same for me; you know I'm my own worst critic, and I can't thank you enough for being the voice of reason to combat the one in my own head on those rough days." She smiled politely and affirmed Travis's gratitude toward the musician for her accompaniment for the evening, making a mental note to send her flowers and a card written on her stationery in the days that followed to express just how special this evening had been and would continue to be -- and how the beautiful rendition of a song that had become more deeply personal than Taylor could've ever imagined was truly the icing on the cake, to dabble in clichés. Her cheeks flushed a powdery pink shade at the tender kiss to her forehead, nerves in the pit of her stomach feeling like they were tangling themselves into knots. It felt like it'd been so long since they'd been able to share an evening like this -- where time didn't seem to run out and they were truly alone. Tour buses and even the most elegant hotel rooms with top security didn't provide the same level of security and sacred time to keep to themselves. Their hands stayed interlocked until they were at the top of the staircase, Taylor dropping Travis's hand only to rest both palms against his chest and lean in for another kiss -- this one slower and far more desperate than any shared outside on the patio. The ruffles of her black shirt rolled over her shoulders, and she could feel her heartbeat beginning to race as her lips dropped to his neck to pepper a slow string of kisses there. "I've been thinking about this -- about you -- all day," she whispered, the lack of space between them inspiring tiny goosebumps that ran across her arms.

He was certain that she had encountered many thoughtful people in her life, but he could also infer that many hadn’t had the purest intentions. His heart was exactly where it needed to be, in the right place. There would never be any conditions — other than her full trust and faith. “Being the most thoughtful you’ve ever met is some high praise,�� he said, and hoped that she knew that behavior from him would never end. When it called for it, he had to display his feelings in such a way, even if it meant enlisting help to get his point fully across. Judging by her expressions, he had done just that, and more that night. They couldn’t have been closer, as it were; their hands hadn’t released their holds of each other’s bodies. She had a gravitational pull, one that was emotional and physical simultaneously. “Thank you — For saying yes to forever,” he whispered, feeling her lips against his jaw, as the gentle breeze was the only thing to dry the tears that were left left on his face. She could repeat those words daily, and still, he would treasure them. Every time. “I can’t wait for the day. You have no idea,” he confessed, easily. Life would be complete, then. He had her, and he knew that, but a family? He had laid awake at night thinking about it, wondering if he had lost his chance, but now, he felt so close to having it. He tilted his head back and let out a laugh; a modest civil wedding was most likely the last thing that the public expected of them, which made the idea all the more enticing. “I kind of like the sound of that, a little courthouse wedding,” he said. A large party or a ceremony could always follow. But he couldn’t get too ahead of himself now. He wanted to take every single day as they came, even if he did have those elaborate visions and dreams at the forefront of his mind. Travis nodded, slowly, and allowed his hands to move from her back to hold her hips, tugging on them. “All for us,” he echoed.

“Are you bragging right now? Seriously?” He teased her, and he tickled her sides, just enough to get another laugh out of her. “You are so talented, my love, but the friend, the daughter, the sister — and girlfriend, that you are — That’s what I see the most often and what I admire the most about you,” he said with a wink down at her, as if he hadn’t told her countless times. And the fact that he would always have a front-row seat to her many talents was something he did not take for granted. His lips curved into a smile with that kiss, and feeling the gentle touch of hers and her words that followed. If it was true, that was something he would still have to learn to accept, but with her promise of giving him all the time in the world to learn to be together, to love each other in the way that they desired and needed to be loved, he would get there. “You somehow always see the best in me,” he replied, simply, and shrugged before saying, "I won't stop until I give you the world." Of course, there would always be an existing fear that he would fall short or make a misstep that would cause her to reconsider, but he would push those thoughts to the furthest corner of his mind. “Impolite of you? Never,” he said. He was, after all, completely hers. With his arms still securely around her, he turned his attention towards the musician who had graced them with her presence that evening. “Thank you for being here. For playing our song, for us, and making the night so special.” Travis expressed his gratitude, and made it clear that she could take all the time needed to gather her things, as he and Taylor took in the display of candles surrounding the pool once again. He raised his hands once again, now gingerly holding shoulders, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. It was time, to get to an even safer, and more sacred place, even more so than the atmosphere that he had curated there outside. “I’m ready when you are. You know the way,” he said, and he was aware that behind his words, she could deduce a multitude of meanings. He trusted the musician to take her time and leave on her own accord; meanwhile, his thoughts were already elsewhere. Taylor's hand had found its way back entwined with his, and he gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze, in an attempt to conceal his own nervous excitement. He allowed her to somewhat lead and followed in step behind her, not saying a word or letting out a sound until they were inside the house once again. The place had a different energy to it now. It felt as safe as before, but his desire was burning, and he communicated that through his actions, grabbing a hold of her that was both possessive and sweet — gentle, yet desperate. Lifting her off the ground was too easy, with the combination of his strength and their height difference. He let out a breathless chuckle against her lips as he started walking, heading straight for the winding staircase.

[yongislong]

[ ncity playlist event ]

now playing ... HUANG RENJUN

heavens only wishful - mormor

blackwind - patrick watson

everywhere - fleetwood mac

sunlight - yuno

the love club - lorde

even if it hurts - tei shi

nouvelle vauge - wave to earth

nightclub love - matt maltese

all your love - jakob

everyone adores you - matt maltese

now viewing ... // renjun would rant on and on about how you were his muse. he claimed ever since he saw you he knew he needed to become an artist because people all over the world 'needed to see how magnificent you were.' the first time he said, you visbly cringed and played if off with a rather hard laugh and his eyes faltered

"y/n im not... joking. you know that, right?"

you never imagined how many times he'd ask you to sit in that creaky brown stool where he'd have you posed like a greek entity, covered in various layers of tulle and silk, no makeup on with unruly hair and pushed up brows, while the playlist he aptedly titled 'draw me like one of your french girls :")' played in the background

other days when he just wanted to burn the image of your smile onto paper, he would crack his best jokes while his camera slyly caught candids of you mid laugh, head thrown back, eyes crinkled, your neck in view as the hands that held your chest sparkled with various rings

he has an entire folder saved up for when you're not near to draw and his brain can't seem to focus on anything but you. he's filled up about a shelf and a half on the bookshelf that also held the vast collection of greek mythology booklets and art style photo magazines. he could cherish these soft times forever. those nights you both always slept the best

so secure in the idea that beauty came from so much more than what you both thought about eachother on the inside, but the mere fact that renjun was there with open arms to capture what you thought were your worst features and make them into something you were proud of

when you told renjun how much you confidence has boosted because of him one of these nights as you laugh in bed together, his heart audibly raises, feeling an immense amount of pride

"you deserve to feel like that all the time, im glad i could be of service silly," he ends the night with a big dopey grin and a smooch to the back of both your hands and eyelids

"sleep tight gorgeous." //

have not proofread this and honestly ... lets not talk abt the moodboard bc i kinda hate it, i love the blurb tho, wish i could've gone into more detail tho muahaha, also sorry for lacking on these lately, school is ass

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him.