#this is like in the past month i think. i need to update my wip list at some point because it is bad so bad

[scattered-stardust]

thank you @just-slightly-chayotic for tagging me<3

my current WIPs, in the order i last looked at them and for which i have actually written something: (most of these don't have titles yet so i'll try to keep is coherent)

another kimchay because jeff is pretty, the one with the lace blindfold i started earlier today

arisu x chishiya x usagi: plot? who needs plot just vibes. It's about healing and living, that's all i know

Unhinged Kimchay: (im not sure how to explain this one honestly) everyone is part fae, fae genes are strongest in younger children (why? magic) and if you snap (aka experience a very traumatic event) the fae side becomes stronger than the human side and they form an unhealthy attachment to the first person who they trust and gives them an order. other than that person they don't care about anyone else, except their soulmate (kimchay are soulmates).

MacauKimChay: Macau proposes to Kim when they're children (3&5), they stay friends for most of their lives and when they're teenagers Macau kisses Kim. Macau ignores Kim for a while. Kim writes an album. Vegas drops out of nowhere to be like "Talk to my brother. he's miserable. I will kill you if you hurt him." Kinnporshe plot happens as in canon, except Kim doesn't spy on chay beyond that first lesson. Still keeps tutoring him tho. Macau and Chay are friends and all three of them fall for each other. At some point they kill Korn. Vegas and Kim are very very reluctant friends. It's a good time.

Learning how to reclaim being an omega now that your father has died a most unfortunate death (with some help): Kim is an omega, Korn doesn't like that but also sees the potential in having an omega son to do some of his dirty work. So kim is kept close and never really meets any other omega's or gets out of the compound. After Korn dies, he makes a list of things he wants to do, to start figuring out who he. I make pearls a very emotional subject, Tay asks: "is anyone going to adopt him?" and doesn't wait for an answer.

reincarnated kimchay: kimchay are reincarnated lovers, kim regains his memories of their past life over the course of the show, plot happens as in kinnporsche. When Chya gets kidnapped he regains the last of his memories. in their past life his actions indirectly led to Chay's death which he blames himself for so he breaks up wiht him. After kinnporsche plot happens, Chay starts regaining his memories of their past life.

no idea who all has done this so, if you want to do it, go for it!!

[jjunieworld]

#WIP ⟢ THE SALT UNDER THE SEA ˒˒ 심재윤 ⨾ 박종성 ▸  part two of the player’s game series⌇playlist & series tag

the death of your grandma has you returning back to your mother’s seaside hometown—the same town you left jake in a year ago—for good. now that you’re back, so are the feelings you really desperately wished to leave behind. it doesn’t help that now you’re caught in the crossfire of two guys with a rough past who want to be with you.

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ sim jaeyun x reader, park jongseong x reader 𓄵 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 cousin jungwon, bestfriend!jay, player!sunghoon, and oc hana (jake’s ex)

genre﹙📓﹚⸝⸝⸝ exes to lovers, bestfriends to ???, angst, smut, fluff, lifeguard!jake, ex player!jake, bestfriend!jay, lifeguard!jay, lifeguarding inaccuracies, love triangle, slice of life, some h2o references, beach au, summer romance

warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ if you didn’t like reader in the first part then you won’t like her in this one, reader’s grandma passing and mentions of reader’s dad passing, multiple unprotected sex scenes, soft dom!jake, mean dom!jay, toxicity, jayke constantly one-uping each other, arguing, semi-public sex, size training, corruption kink full smut tags in actual post . . . !

kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ this was a long time coming lmao i’m so so sorry to everyone who has been waiting (◞‸◟；) with my month long break and adjusting to writing again i’m finally ready to start working on this series again! this is my main priority so i will try to get it out as soon as i possibly can!! this post will be updated as i work on it! ^^ all feedback and asks on suggestions are welcome! ♡

release date ⸝⸝⸝ sept 20th, 2024 ⋆ progress updates here!

∿ [ teaser wc: 0.7k ] ∿ [ current wc: 26.1k ] ⋆ [ continue to . . . wips , masterlist ]

send an ask or reply to this post if you want to be tagged when finished! minors and ageless/blank blogs will not be tagged. please have a visible age. my permanent taglist will already be tagged!

⟢ READ HERE!

your heart beat fast as you looked out the plane window to your mother’s seaside hometown—your new home. there was no need for your mom to nudge you awake since you weren’t able to sleep for the entirety you were on the plane, the nerves were eating at you.

you never thought you’d be back here, never thought that you’d ever say goodbye to your own hometown—which was also your late father’s—but here you were.

when your mom told you that you’d be moving here permanently you didn’t know how to feel. one one hand, you understood your mom’s decision. it was just you and her out there miles away from your family and everything must’ve reminded her of your father. it reminded you of him too. on the other hand, you desperately wished she would change her mind.

it was enough seeing that one glimpse of jake nine months ago, but to see him over and over and over again? you didn’t think you could take it. he still texted you, even more now since, and you still haven’t answered. things between the two of you still remain unsaid.

but you also couldn’t help but count down the seconds until you laid your eyes on him again. it set your skin alight and you couldn’t help the small smile on your face and the giddiness you felt. was it selfish, yes, but after everything you think you’re finally ready to face him again.

to give your relationship another chance. to give him your heart again and not be fearful that he would break it, that he’d keep it guarded and safe. after all, he said he would wait for you.

and if he didn’t protect your heart, you’d pull back and it would be as if you never had anything to do with him again.

“y/n? are you listening?” you heard your mother’s voice call out. you snapped back to reality, blinking a couple of times to get your wits.

you were no longer on the plane. now you were lugging suitcases into your aunt’s house. your aunt was delighted to hear that you and your mom would be moving here. there was plenty of room in the house until the two of you got your own place.

“mhm,” you mumbled, though you definitely weren’t listening.

your mom sat the suitcase she was carrying in front of you and grabbed your shoulders. “is it that boy from last summer?” what was his name? jacob?”

“jake,” jungwon answered for you as he walked out the front door to grab more boxes.

your mom snapped her fingers. “jake! that’s it. listen, i know you had some problems moving here because of him, but use this as a way to put yourself out there more than last summer! there’s more wonderful people here than just jake.” she gave you a sympathetic smile and continued carrying stuff inside while you remained planted to the same spot in the driveway.

it wasn’t “just jake” that worried you. it was all of his friends and hana. you didn’t want another summer full of drama, especially if you and jake did start dating again.

getting all your boxes and suitcases into the house went quick and relatively easy. you decided on unpacking all of your things later, right now your mind was too clouded.

jake’s letter sat carefully in your anxious hands. you must’ve read it a million times over now and still you could barely wrap your head around it.

“two people who are meant to be will always find a way back to each other. and we are meant to be. no matter how long it takes, i’ll wait for you.”

it was now or never. you grabbed your phone and opened your messages up to your conversation with jake. his last message was from this morning, hoping that you had a good day today. he must not know that you’re back and for good. with a shaky sigh, you let your fingers move across the keyboard.

you: meet me at our spot.

⟢ READ HERE!

taglist 1﹙ OPEN! ﹚⸝⸝⸝ click here for series taglist! 🏷️ @jjunberry @gothgyuu @gyuuberries @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @riaawr @yeonjunsfox @nxzz-skz @rapmonie2047 @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @aaa-sia @jeonghaniehaee @todorokiskitten @onlyhyunjin @un06 @nenesz @branchrkive @dreamiestay @lilyuwon @ghstzzn @kaykay11sworld @kirinaa08 @cherlv @zl-world @cloud-lyy @sunpov @samouryed @immelissaaa @y4wnjunz @who-tf-soddhi @minaateez @jajenoric @lilactangerine @chaconadine @americanojake @in-somnias-world @bobaikeu @cupidscourt @inkigayocamman @nctsshoes2 @helenngxz @jakeswifez @usnve @tasnim10 @deobitifull @won4me @zeeloveshee

send an ask or reply to this post if you want to be tagged when finished! minors and ageless/blank blogs will not be tagged. please have a visible age. my permanent taglist will already be tagged!

∿ [ continue on to . . . masterlist , wips , taglist ] all feedback and asks on suggestions are welcome! ♡

© jjunieworld - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

[kabutoden]

aphids update

since i started posting aphids, nearly the entire thing has been written. and i really want to see it complete!!

its especially a bummer because i wanted to put out each chapter in 1 month, which i almost managed to complete with the first chapter by focusing on the grind but not quite, burning out hard before completing it. ive had the pages inked for months now, they just need some touchups to be released. it’s just mostly cus I got work and work exhausting. yah know how it is.

i want everyone to know every couple of weeks i look at my aphids writing and comics WIPs and go WOW. GODDAMN. THIS SHIT GOOD. there have been a few changes and additions i've made in the past few months: some of them are just gags, while others are super valuable and i think these additions help with expanding the story. they aren't things i would have realized quickly. things that have been added include two raps, one by dave and slam poetry by karkat, but more importantly pacing improvements. so that’s cool

currently im working a temp job but im TEMPted (haha) to take some time off work and visit my family if they don’t keep me on. im considering taking some time between jobs to really make some progress on Aphids or my other projects. like finishing explaining bugstuck versions of all castes. maybe answering those asks too. i got some neato fantrolls to post i just spend forever explaining the characters whenever i wanna post. LAMMMEEE. ok bye -kabu

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | July 15th-21st 2024

I have a week off of work, woohoo! This week I mostly read all of my favourite WIPs that updated multiple times, thank you all for keeping me well fed 😎

Complete

is there some place where we can go right now? (i don't think that it can wait) by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Established Buddie, Bar Sex, PWP | 2K | Explicit): Buck, Eddie, and the inside of a bar bathroom

you call me pretty little thing by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Established Buddie, Panty Kink, PWP | Explicit): “Buck,” Eddie breathes after a moment. “Are you wearing—?” Buck nips at Eddie’s slack mouth and says coyly, “Why don’t you see for yourself?” Eddie, it seems, doesn’t need to be told twice. He shoves Buck off his lap, tearing his sweatpants down his hips to reveal the tiny, pink lace panties Buck has on beneath them.

looking for something dumb to do by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Buddie Wedding, PWP | 4K | Explicit): It’s also not unusual that the app bay is almost empty when they walk inside, save for one engine parked along the side. What is unusual is the rows of white folding chairs facing the back wall. And the archway adorned with greenery and pale pink blossoms set up beneath the loft. And all of their friends milling about the app bay, dressed up like… Like they’re attending a wedding.

Hell or High Water by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (4x04: What's Your Grievance, PWP, First Time | 5K | Explicit): That’s Buck’s cue to put a stop to this before it crosses a line they can’t come back from. Before he says something or does something that means Eddie will never touch him or smile at him or let him into his home again. Buck breaks things; that’s what he does. And he’s tried so hard not to break this.

🔥 my man says he loves me (never says he loves me not) by colonoscopys/ @colonoscopys (Post-S7, Identity Porn | 9K | General): It’s the summer after Eddie blows his life up that he realizes he kinda wants to do it again.  He’s looking at the TV, watching some shitty, fuzzy screen show that Buck favored on his last shift, and letting sleep kinda wash in and wash out. There’s an ad after a while. “Are you struggling with being in love with your best friend too?” The man asks. “You should sign up for inlovewithmybestfriendandgoingtodie.com. A support group dedicated to people in love with their best friend, inlovewithmybestfriendandgoingtodie.com is a great way to learn how to cope and survive when you’re in love with someone you’ll never have!” Eddie gapes at the screen. 

WIP

🔥 Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 17/22 | 88K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

🔥 Long Death by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7, Vampire AU | 8/12 | 33K | Explicit): In the summer of 2024, a never before seen form of vampirism breaks out in Los Angeles. Just as Eddie is about to get his son back. Six months later, Buck's life is permanently changed.

drift past the flowers. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, (Un)requited Love | 6/12 | 18K | Teen): OR Buck and Natalia get engaged, and Eddie flees the state about it. A petty email correspondence ensues.

🔥loves a game, wanna play? by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Post-S7, Love Island AU | 6/13 | 26K | Mature): In the aftermath of Chris leaving for the summer, Buck convinces Eddie they should apply for Love Island together.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 131/? | 413K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 If You Can Make the Music by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, | 4/5 | 11K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 5 (Seaside): A year after a whirlwind two week love affair with bartender Buck in Galveston, Texas, Eddie Diaz finds himself coincidentally relocating to the area. But when he attempts to reconnect with Buck, he's in for an unfortunate surprise. (Part 3 of Coma-Verse)

[bookish-bogwitch]

Thank you @roomwithanopenfire, @rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @nausikaaa, @larkral,

@hushed-chorus, @alexalexinii, @monbons, @whatevertheweather, @run-for-chamo-miles,

@artsyunderstudy, @mooncello, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @forabeatofadrum, and @aristocratic-otter for the tags over the past few weeks. I've had a crazy month (90% in crazy a good way) and too frazzled to come up with my own WIP posts, but have enjoyed reading yours and being included.

Here are six ten moody little sentence from Chapter 11 of Basil Pitch's Diary. (In case you missed it, I posted Ch. 10, September, a few weeks ago, then fled the country.) Baz is hanging in in Niall and Dev's room:

The last time I was here with Niall, he’d told me to hold out for more than ear scritches and the occasional carrot. Now we sat on his bed with a chessboard between us. “Baz,” Niall said quietly. “What are you doing?”  “Beating you.” I moved my queen to menace his remaining bishop. “With Snow, I mean.” Niall did that thing where the rook and king hop around, which shouldn’t be allowed, and I realized he’d won. Again. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, there is a me who grew up with someone to play against, demolishing a Niall who never went to math camp.

Below the cut: musing, a posting plan, and more tags.

Musing: I've actually written a ton since the last chapter even though I've been AWOL, but for a while no matter what I wrote, Baz felt out of character. I'd write a scene, like it, and then think "but why is he doing this?" Then I'd rewrite with Baz behaving completely differently, and that also felt OOC.

I worried that I'd somehow doomed myself with inconsistent characterization, but then I figured it out: Baz at this point is deeply inconsistent. He presents himself to the world one way, he tells the reader / himself that he's something else, and deep down he's a secret third thing. And sometimes his masks slip.

To some extent this is every unreliable narrator. But boyo has REALLY tangled himself up at this point. Something's gotta give. Until it does--which it will, soon--I have to be very clear in my mind, even if Baz isn't, about which Baz is driving the Baz at any given moment.

A lot of you can do that sort of thing intuitively. I can't. So I've been building this out (showing you just the headers b/c spoilers):

This might stultify some (most?) of you. For me, though, it's freeing. When my brain isn't trying to keep track of everything, my imagination can unfurl.

"'Everything'?" you ask. "This isn't that plotty a fic." It's not, but it's already 2.5x longer than anything else I've written, which means developing skills I haven't needed before. Anyway, my BPD chart and I are having fun. We're very happy together.

Posting Plan

I pushed myself to get Ch. 10 up before leaving home for three weeks, because Ch. 9 had ended on such a wretched note. While I was happy to have gotten it up, I didn't love the self-imposed time crunch (though betas @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, and @thewholelemon were fuckin' heroes). Feeling rushed had me stressing and second-guessing choices that were probably fine.

My plan now is to pause updates until I have at least a very rough first draft of the final chapter, then post it all at regular intervals. I know a longish pause means some folks who'd been reading along will wait until it's complete, if they return at all. To those folks--sorry, and I get it, and thank you for reading in the first place, and I love you.

Tags and shy waves to @brendughh  @beastmonstertitan  @carryonsimoncarryonbaz  @carryonmylovelies  @creepyspice

@comesitintheclover @cows4247 @confused-bi-queer @artsyunderstudy@chen-chen-chen-again-chen

@chronicallyhomoerotic @drowninginships @dragoneggos @excalisbury @emeryhall

@erzbethluna @ebbpettier @fight-surrender @fatalfangirl @gay-at-ikea

@fiend-for-culture @forabeatofadrum @foolofabookwyrm-activated @arthurkko @j-nipper-95

@gekkoinapeartree @goblindad-emoshit @henreyettah @hertragedyconnoisseur @hushed-chorus

@icarus-n-flames @ineffable-grimm-pitch @ic3-que3n @ionlydrinkhotwater @iamamythologicalcreature

 @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @shrekgogurt @im-gettingby @youarenevertooold

@monbons @mooncello @raenestee @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @messofthejess

[myimaginedcorner]

SCALES OF JUSTICE - BETA TESTERS NEEDED

Hi dear readers,

Thank you for your overwhelming trust and support. The opinions that I've collected over the past few days have finally motivated me to put aside my self-criticism and doubt, and to make the next step towards SoJ's release.

Yes, Scales of Justice is now officially in its BETA-test phase!!

If you would like to help me by being a BETA-tester for my book, please, comment under this post, send me a direct message, or message me on CoG's forum. I aim to take around 20 to 30 people, so we can have a big and productive group that nonetheless remains constructive in its feedback.

If you don't have the time or you don't want to be a tester, consider sharing this post, so it can get to as many of you as possible.

I will be working alongside the testers on improving style, grammar, and other minor details that require polishing as the month progresses. Hopefully, by the end of it we'll have an even better version of this book that will be submitted for approval to Hosted Games!

See you all very soon,

Julia xx

BOOK DETAILS:

DEMO DESCRIPTION:

Scales of Justice is a fantasy game situated in another world, far away from Earth. There are plenty of species living together in harmony, but the human race is currently split in two civilisations: the one known as Hero kingdom, which is ruled by ‘heroes’, and the one named Vannais kingdom, controled by ‘villains’. Both nations hate each other and the fight between ‘heroes’ and ‘villains’ here is something that happens on a national level. The game is focused on lore, on character development and your own perception of reality: perhaps, your MC just wants to live a peaceful life... or maybe wants to save the world.

Or even rule it, if you’re into such things.

THINGS TO DO IN THIS DEMO:

Set off on a new adventure towards Neutral Lands, to meet a mythic creature of all answers - The Visionary.

Gather up to 3 companions to help you in your quest - befriend, romance or rival them, the choice is yours.

Buy a horse - we know you want one.

Fight, conjure, support, speak or think - choose your way of handling a tricky situation.

Explore the kingdom of Hero up to Menai's shore, in search for someone - or something - to aid you in your journey.

The DEMO version of the book runs up to Chapter 5 and contains 276K words overall. I will be putting up updated versions of the first chapters as I work my way through them, so expect the DEMO version to become a polished reflection of what the final book will look like!

USEFUL LINKS:

If you want to know a little more about this project and read chapters 1-5, I'll leave the link to the game here -> https://dashingdon.com/play/myimaginedcorner/scales-of-justice/mygame/

If you want to discuss anything on CoG's forum, I'll leave the link for SoJ here -> https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/wip-scales-of-justice-new-project-announcement-and-demo-release/101088/16

If you want to send me a more extensive feedback, here's my email -> feedbackscalesofjustice@gmail.com

Any mistakes, concerns or questions you have, feel free to contact me through Tumblr! I am very excited to share this story with all of you, and I want to make it as good as possible with your help!

RO DESCRIPTIONS:

Shoren/Seile -> Heir to the Hero kingdom's throne, right where your journey starts. Also, your old friend who's very attached to you. Likes to read and practices magic, enjoys adventure and heroic deeds. A recognised “hero”, with blonde curly hair, pale skin and a pair of beautiful blue eyes.

Robert/Reina -> Order's Paladin, defender of Hero and Knight of Fate. Brave and honourable, determined to protect the people of the kingdom. Very loyal to friends and very dangerous as an enemy. Has short brown hair, tanned skin and an athletic build.

Valerius/Venis -> An Outworlder, who was caught by cultists from the Wicked Woods. Gracious, elegant and charismatic. Has long dark brown hair with a silver streak, olive skin and golden eyes.

Arion/Aria -> Leader of Vannais, a recognised “villain” who escaped from Hero and now rules the enemy kingdom. Serious, reserved but temperamental. Prefers action over words and so is always present on battlefields and amidst negotiations, even though never in official manner. Has short blonde hair, pale skin and emerald eyes.

Be careful! These characters have their thoughts and opinions on the world and your actions: if you want them to support you, convince them or take their side… or neither. That is your choice after all!

[foolondahill17]

Annual Favorite Supernatural Fic Rec List of 2023:

I bookmarked 66 fics in 2023 (and read…a lot more than that), but only 9 were written/updated in this year of our lord. SMH we gotta pump out more content, friends. Seriously though, I’ve got several more 2023 fic reads in my Marked for Later, but some are still WIPs or I just haven’t gotten around to picking them up yet. I’m sure some (like the much-hyped Lighthouse Keeper AU where there is darkness by the talented quiettewandering [@wanderingcas on tumblr]) will end up on my Bookmarked favs…but, alas, they’ll just have to wait for the 2024 recap.

The list below is in no particular order, barring the first, which has joined the ranks of one-of-my-favorite-fics-ever:

A Cliff That Knew Too Many Tides by luulapants (@luulapants)

E, early series Dean/others, 94,508 words

Partial Summary:

A canon rewrite AU diverging from the events of Some Cruel Tide, in which a shifter disguised as his father used Dean's blind obedience to molest him. By the start of S1, Dean's relationship with his father is more strained, his devotion more intense, and his life consumed by the need to hide the parts of himself he is most ashamed of.

My words:

If you’ve been looking for a gay!Dean manifesto, you’ve found it. Obviously, the subject matter is dark: warnings for past childhood sexual abuse, internal and external homophobia, past suicide attempt, and traumatic outing. It is also beautiful and heart-wrenching and scratches the swollen, itchy, weeping rash on my heart in a way that only the balm of good Dean angst can.  

Favorite part:

“I wasn’t acting out,” he blurted.

“What?”

“When I – I wasn’t trying to act out or anything.” Deacon’s presence hovered behind him like an aura, and Dean reminded himself, Don’t rock the boat. Don’t rock the boat.

Dad sighed. The line crackled, and Dean pictured him standing in a phone booth somewhere, probably huddled up against the cold. “Then what the hell would you call it?”

Dean tried out a few words in his head, imagining how they’d sound to Deacon. He ended up with, “I misunderstood. I thought I was supposed to.”

Asterism of an F-Series Ford Pick Up by disabled_dean (@disabled-dean)

M, Destiel, 17,408 words

Partial Summary:

When you've been to hell, desire is isolating and ugly.

Or: Cas drives his truck for a case and Dean is exceptionally horny about it

My words:

The way Dean’s PTSD is described in this fic, like a slow, oozing poison that awakens the longer he and Cas travel together, is tantalizing and masterful. Ostensibly, this fic is about Dean and Cas road-tripping to a case. It’s actually about how you, a monster-hunter, can come to terms (or not) with your body and soul when you think you’ve become the very thing you’re spent your whole life hunting.

 Favorite part:

"Like everything will be going fine and then all of a sudden I just. Can’t. I can't stand it. And the more fine everything is, the worse it gets and I feel-" he breaks off, eyes on his hands like they aren't his hands, thumb rubbing over and over the ring on his index finger, "It's like everyone else is living this normal fucking life and I'm still back in the pit."

Personal Space: The Final Frontier by botley

M, Destiel, Star Trek AU, WIP, 63,570 words

Partial summary

"Captain's Log, Stardate 10918.8. Captain Ellen Harvelle reporting, First Officer… Castiel… attending. After a month of bargaining with the Gehennian government, efforts to permit a search party within the Rack facilities still proved unsuccessful. Although Starfleet’s orders dictated we tuck tail and leave, I elected to disregard this decision and beam a rescue operations team down for the recovery of Lieutenant Commander Dean Winchester.”

My words:

This fic has been on my rec lists before. It’s still a WIP, but it very unexpectedly posted an update after a 3(?) year hiatus, so I’ll cling to hope until my fingernails leave a bloody, mauled mess.  This is basically a Star Trek AU where our favorite Supernatural gang are fucking around in Starfleet instead of the Midwest. Fantastic stuff – worth the read even if it does remain unfinished.

Favorite line:

"Dean made a face. Castiel decided the man was hideous."

Receding by minkmix

T, early season gen, 38,729 words

Summary:

After a visit to an old, abandoned theme park in the desert, Sam begins to notice strange lapses in Dean's memory. As his brother starts to disappear before his eyes, Sam must rush to find an answer before there isn't anything left to save... My words: A Lucky Charms fic if I’ve ever read one. Delicious, crunchy marshmallow goodness of some fantastic Dean!whump and panicked caretaker!Sam with the solid undercurrent of slightly sweetened amalgamized oat and corn cereal of a solid case fic. Yum.

 Favorite part:

“Sammy?” Dean cut him off.

“W-What is it?”

“What’s Dad’s name?”

Sam’s chest heaved as he fought himself from sounding as stunned as he felt.

“John.”

Swan Upon Leda by kelsstiel (@kelstiel)

E, Destiel real-world AU, 174,096 words

Summary:

Pediatric Surgery Fellow Dean Winchester meets baby Jack Kline and neuropsychologist Castiel Novak his first week on the job. Dean’s been accused a time or two of caring a little too much in the past and it’s hard not to care about the neurotic adoptive father and his medically needy preemie. After a series of run-ins between the pair, Dean and Cas develop a friendship that everyone else around them suspect more from immediately, though it takes them a little longer to get the memo. When Dean struggles with a particularly devastating patient loss, their mutual understanding of loss and love bring them closer in a way that neither of them could have expected.

My words: A solid, old-fashioned romantic AU. It’s unpretentious, fluffy, heart-warming, authentic and the kind of could-have-been-a-novel goodness that makes up the heart and breadth of fanfiction. Warning for infant illness and death (not Jack).

Favorite part:

"I know they say there’s a chance, but I’ve just got this feeling .” She shook her head and looked down for a moment. She looked up again and took a deep breath as if steadying herself. “I wish I could see you grow up.”

five minutes to six by saintedcastiel  (@saintedcastiel)

M, Destiel real-world AU, 23,383 words

Summary:

Castiel Novak has been the co-host of Good Morning, Lawrence! for a little over ten years when he stumbles across the story of a lifetime. But after a producer pulls the segment and tells him to forget it, Castiel begins to wonder who's really pulling the strings. Can he bring the truth to light while somehow managing to keep his co-host, and the man he loves, in the dark?

 My words: Another Goddamn quality AU. This one is a little quippier and fast paced than the Hospital AU above, but it’s full of fantastic characterization and even a last-minute breaking and entering romp. Fun that’s perfect for the whole family!

Favorite part:

“Been asking you out all week.” Dean tells him, and Castiel realizes all at once he’s right.

“Oh my god.” Castiel laughs. “You have.”

This Is Not My Beautiful Wife by luckshiptoshore (@luckshiptoshore)

T, Destiel, one-shot, 4,755 words

Summary:

“Dean,” says the man again. “This isn’t real. You need to come with me, now.”

Dean’s been zoning out again. But he can’t escape the feeling that something’s very, very wrong … and wherever he goes, a strange man in a trench coat follows.

My words: You gotta love the Djinn dream trope. This one has everything you want in a caught-in-a-fake-reality-while-your-lover-pleads-for-you-to-return-to-the-waking-world story, plus an extra dash of on-point characterization and some truly imaginative scenarios for Dean’s alternate realities.  

 Favorite part:

“We could look into adoption,” says Cas. “If you’d like. Of course we could also simply take a child, but I think that’s frowned on."

we really shouldn't be doing this by LoversAntiquities (@tragidean)

E, Destiel, 17,138 words

Summary:

After Castiel goes missing for a week, Dean finds him in an abandoned cemetery in the middle of nowhere Kansas, suffering from a mysterious welt. Only, as the hours go on, the deeper the curse grows—and Dean finds more than he bargained for, namely on every surface he and Castiel can find.

My words: This is more straight-up (not straight) porn than I usual rec, but this is a fantastic take on the from-sex-to-love fic where everyone was already in love to begin with. There’s a hefty sprinkle of idiots-to-lovers and sex-curse. Also angst, which is my bread and butter.

Favorite line:

Castiel stares up at him, his eyes gone soft, hooded. Dean thumbs over his eyelid, just to watch it flutter shut. “I’m not solely interested in you for your hands, or your mouth. They are wonderful attributes, but I don’t long for them so much as I long for you.” He leans into Dean’s palm and kisses the center. “I don’t know when I fell in love with you, but it would take the death of the universe to get me to stop.”

Postpartum Prometheus by babbyspanch, saltslimes (@dragqueenpentheus @nifedick)

E, Destiel, technically mpreg, WIP, 18,959 words

Summary

Welcome to the Supernatural renaissance. Welcome to Castiel and the terrible naissance.

My words: warning for the fact that this is technically an mpreg fic even though Castiel is an angel and not really a man. Warning, also, because this is another WIP that hasn’t been updated since the beginning of the year, so I don’t know if it’ll be finished. Basically, Dean and Cas bump uglies to unexpected results. Cas kinda freaks without telling Dean he’s his baby daddy. He also yanks out his intestines so said baby can be nice and comfortable in there. Funny and angsty.

Favorite part:

“Are those—?”

“Yeah.” He waves his hand at the door again, starting to feel like one of those used car lot inflatable men, limbs akimbo. “A total murderer looking guy just bolted that way. And not like— the regular murderer-looking people who come in.”

“And he left his organs.” Dennis thinks a moment, and then shrugs, as if this isn’t the weirdest thing he’s ever seen. He’s been working here longer than anyone Henry knows, maybe it isn’t. He opens his mouth and Henry can’t help hoping some miracle plan of action is going to fall out of it. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Um. What?”

“I don’t want to offend you.” He pauses, brows furrowed. He rolls Henry’s cup over in his hand. “What is a ‘FABINISTA’?”

Add your favorite written-in-2023 fics in the tags or a reblog!

[eusuntgratie]

wip wednesday on thursday bc i do what i want 😘

haven't shared in a while bc i haven't had time to write but i appreciate all the tags so i'm gonna share a few little snippets of a few things i'm working on. tags below the cut!

guess who tripped and fell into a new fandom? oops. y'all gotta scroll past some 🏳️‍🌈👽 before you get to any rwrb-adjacent words 😏

malex bartender au (roswell new mexico) - hopefully posting soon!

Alex is covering the bar for Maria when he gets stuck, bottle of tequila hovering in between the bar and the glass he’s supposed to be pouring it in. He works hard not to notice people, notice men, but the most beautiful man he’s ever seen is walking into the bar and it's impossible to look away.

malexa 2x06 canon divergence, starting with maria waking up the next morning

Maria wakes up with a crick in her neck. One of her arms is asleep and she’s got a pleasant ache in her thighs.  She's warm, and the bone-deep fear that's been trying to suffocate her for weeks has abated. She takes a deep breath and keeps her eyes squeezed shut when she remembers why.

me? already writing rpf from my new fandom? GASP! please pretend to be shocked - vlamburn + a third i can't decide if i want to keep mysterious or not bc everyone who reads them would know who she is anyway i think?

“Kiss him,” she tells Michael, who finally tears his gaze from Tyler’s face to ask, “why?”.  “Because I wanna see.”  She nods and smiles when Tyler searches her face, looking a little panicked. But then Michael is leaning in close, wrapping his big hand around Tyler’s pretty neck and pulling him in and kissing him like he’s starving for it. Tyler moans and she’s so fucking wet she could shove Tyler out of the way and sit on Michael’s dick right here in front of him, but she keeps still, and watches. The way Michael pulls him closer, the way Tyler’s fingers twitch near his waist.

a little cuck fic update (sensing a pattern? don't worry about it) - taynick, disaster verse

Nick catches himself leaning forward, trying to chase Taylor’s mouth and his touch. He hears a sharp, “stay,” that rocks all the way through him and he slams himself back in the chair. He gets a barely perceptible nod for his efforts. He tries not to think about what he could do to elicit a bigger reaction. He drags in a breath and refocuses on Taylor. At a small gesture Nick barely notices, Taylor bends over the bed again. He is so fucking beautiful. Nick’s not sure he’s ever had the chance to just take him in like this. He’s always so desperate to get his hands on him when they’re alone.

alright that's enough snippets... hopefully i'll be able to get some things finished in the next few months! i miss writing! let me know what you think; i need all the motivation i can get.

thank you for the tags sunday and wednesday!

@catdadacd @firstprincehornyramblings @thesleepyskipper @basil-bird @sparklepocalypse

@thinkof-england @taste-thewaste

tagging @lostcol @bigassbowlingballhead @onward--upward for alien reasons 😘🛸

[mission-light-if]

Mission Light - Prologue - Out Now!

After three months, a mental health crisis, and a university essay, the prologue—or, well, the character creation—of Mission Light is finally here. I am still not sure how I managed to do that, but I did. I have to say that I think I will enjoy writing the future chapters, especially the three career paths, a lot more than I did writing this sort of introduction.

I am not super happy with how everything turned out, especially with the last few choices centered around the character of Noel. I am not really proud of them; they also took me the longest because they have a lot of text attached. That's probably also why I am not satisfied with them. I will come back to them in the future, though, most likely in the 1.1 update. However, I think I need some distance first. In general, I feel like you can tell that I took multiple week-long breaks between my writing sessions because I personally feel like the writing and themes aren't consistent. I do in fact have some trouble expressing what I want in english but considering that I have troubles like this in german too it's no wonder. I seem to think different and more complicated than others, which leads to more complicted sentences which make sense to me but are hard to understand for other people. (I noticed that after a few friends read my university essay). (I partly blame that and the inconsistency on my newly diagnosed ADHD by the way). This is not me fishing for compliments or anything those are genuine problems I feel I have.

Keep in mind that this is also a WIP. After I finish the book, I will polish and rewrite it. I hope that you can still enjoy it. I am proud of myself for pulling through and not giving up. I want to be more active, so please ask me some questions. I plan to do drawings of the love interests soon, too. As of right now, the story has around 30,000 words with code, but I still have some coding and structure issues I need to fix starting the doctor path, so I assume it's closer to 18,000 words.

In this prologue, character creation, and introduction update, you can learn a lot about the internal feelings of your character and where they stand in life, customize a lot about your character, choose a career, and decide on a shared past with a character you will meet again in the future.

In the next update, the law prologue, you will be able to meet two of the main characters, flirt with them, dive deeper into the world and lore, have the first contact with the superhuman world, and get superpowers yourself. You will also get a clearer picture of where the story will go exactly, since the update now, as a standalone, is a little separate from the actual story.

Take care, Cassian :)

[two-reflections]

WIP Wednesday ✨

Minis ✨

Managed to mess around for a couple of hours during the Imperium Maledictum game today.

Those space marines still aren't done because I've been procrastinating/too ill, but I've started basing them. Need to get more PVA glue, I'm not convinced what I used is going to hold this dirt in place.

My little blue guy is almost done. I think his face needs more highlights, but I'll probably varnish him after that. I varnished the blue lady today too, but she basically looks the same so I didn't take a picture.

Imperium Maledictum and other updates below

Imperium Maledictum ✨

This week, we met the Inquisitor and received our mission: pretend to be an Admech group writing a report on a particular planet's tech status since the Noctis Aeterna while actually writing a very different report for the Ordo Hereticus and delivering a secret letter.

We also rolled for connections and worked more on our characters. My Magos Biologos heretek overheard our Space Landsknechte ex-guardsman describe having seen something he thought was a kroot that was almost certainty a tzaangor. Two other characters overheard my lil guy make an offhand comment about how parts of xenos could be medically useful in a pinch. Lots of incriminating stuff!

Writing ✨

Kinktober is carrying on. I'm finding writing classic drabbles (100 words exactly) weirdly hard, but it's also good to practice being consice at times, y'know?

It has also given me a chance to try new things, like writing necrons and other characters I feel I don't know well enough to write a longer fic about. So, that's been cool!

I meant to hammer out the rest of Of Steel and Flesh for Finish What You Started 2024, but I've been too ill this month to really get into it. I'm still hoping I manage to finish an ancient Kingdom Hearts fic I've left undone since 2018 and my entries for the Salamanders Discord Server's Halloween Competition. Got a deadline for the latter tonight, actually... I'm not good at writing horror, but I will try to do something for it.

EDIT - Urgh. Writing nurgly things while having a nasty cold does not feel great. This story isn't even that gross, but my stomach is jumping now. But I met my deadline, so... Worth it?

Misc ✨

My 40-week kitbashing/fleshcrafting project continues. I know this isn't really the place to talk about it, but I'm finding the process rather difficult. While the experts I have consulted on the matter have largely been wonderful, one person I talked to last week was so condescending and uninformed about the unusual complexities of my project that she had me questioning the whole thing. I was given advice on the tier of "Well, maybe you should chuck out your wet palette and use one thick coat", and then was actually scolded for explaining that a wet palette is a helpful adaptation for my needs and that using one thick coat of paint hasn't worked for people like me in the past and is no longer recommended as best practice anyway. Bleh.

However, questioning isn't a bad thing. We learn by asking questions, don't we? I'm still not sure what I'm learning from this one because I'm so pissed off, but there must be something there. Maybe how to make an official complaint to the NHS. If I was treated that way, I can't imagine how that person treats patients with rarer or more serious conditions.

[alexologyart]

[WIP] A young Entrapta killing the Last King of the Scorpioni

Is okay to cry for what had been lost, my dear. Tomorrow is a new day, as for today the child you once were had died.

Maybe no the most happy of drawings, but I think is a good one to finish 2023.

Firts of all, I hope you all had a very happy Christmas this year, and I wish an equally Happy New Year!!

This year has been rough for me, I passed my internship with the highest grades in July, and now I am days to finish my thesis finally.

In the past months there has been very little updates from me, no art whatsoever, and I'm ashamed of say, not even commission updates for those who had been due theirs. I apologize profoundly.

At the beginning of 2023 I experienced a back injury that took months to heal, the pain was too much, and still today I feel the reminicent of it. At the same time I've been too exhausted by all the requiriments to finish this big step in my life to become a professional and academic in my field, that I negleted the one thing that brings me the most joy in my life.

I am not good balancing work and life, and this took a toll on me. For the first time in long time, that part of my life that brings joy became a burden, I indentified it as a distraction, and I turned it off completely.

This happened because I'm experiencing a big sense of dread to the prospect of what the future awaits for me, trying to search for summer jobs without avail and feeling disappointed all over, feeling depressed because I feel stuck and not growing as an adult reaching 30, there are a lot of expectations to what I could do after getting my degree, defending my thesis on March will be one of them. And this has taken all my energy and time from creating things I love, to the point I even asked myself what was the point of continuing with it.

Art is one of these things that has been with me for the longest, starting drawing when I learned to hold a pen, even before knowing how to write, but in the past six months, after spending a great time without even sketching, I was afraid I had lost this ability, as my head was on Uni, and my body felt heavy by all the stress I didn't want to even check if I could still draw.

I do, I can still draw, although slowly and always resting. My brain needs to adapt again to what it was after months of not doing so.

Creating this version of Entrapta has been a roller coaster of emotions for me, she helps me to express myself and I love thinking in new ways to draw her, I don't care she is not really an original character, but mostly the deep emotional connection I have with her while writing and drawing her story.

She is strong, she is cunning, she is fierce and intelligent. But even a woman like her has to have moment of vulnerability. And this scene, is a pinpoint moment; killing while losing something of herself, quite literally, not feeling fierce but fragile, in pain, and overwhelmed.

Is something that I have reflected a lot the past months, to realize I am entering a moment in my life I should allow me to feel and not to restrict myself from the things I love, so I will try to take my time facing the situations that scares me and as well trying not to feel overwhelmed and anxious for what is to come.

If you would like to support my artistic journey, you can do so on Patreon and Kofi! I would greatly appreciate it! wish you a Happy New Year!

[foodsies4me]

Writing procrastination game

Thanks for tagging me @myulalie!

1. What’s the name of one of your Wips?

Under covers, stars and circles (Shadowhunters, Malec) - that said, the name might change.

2. Describe a Wip in the format of __+__=__

time travel + soulmates = Meet me in the future, love me in the past (Shadowhunters, Malec).

3. What tags/warnings will one of your Wips need if you share it?

Graphic depictions of violence, Magnus can bear runes, Pretend! shadowhunter Magnus, Undercover!Alec, Undercover!Magnus, (Shadowhunters, Malec)

4. Alternative title to a Wip?

AWG2 (Shadowhunters, Malec) for The Past Bleeds Golden, that's still what I refer to it as.

I don't know what to title this (Shadowhunters, Malec) is the title for one of the dragon fics.

5. Which Wip are you most likely to update/finish next?

Update: Apollo! While I only updated it yesterday, the Alec POV for the next chapter is very insistent to be written.

Most likely to finish first: Given the length of the other WIPS, I think the most likely fic for me to finish next would be the "trainee outing" FTH fic as I' making some pretty decent progress on that fic.

6. What is one of your Wip’s document title, not its name but what you have it saved as?

Birb and kitty (Shadowhunters, Malec - yes this is how I have saved Apollo as).

7. Post any sentence from your Wip?

"She made me drink something."

As usual, yes it's from a Shadowhunters fic.

8. A scrapped idea from your wip?

Hmmm, a scrapped idea from Apollo would be Alec being spelled by Ragnor to stop him from speaking about the Mortal Cup's true whereabouts. I initially was planned to write that it because him and Magnus letting Alec just leave with that information didn't sound logical to me, but Magnus just wouldn't let that happen no matter how I tried to twist or turn it.

9. What’s a story you’d love to write but have yet to start?

There are so many. I really would love to start on my Alexander is a Pole Dance Teacher fic! I have written down the rough summary for it and it should go by quickly enough given it's just supposed to be a quick, short fic of Alec trying something new with his siblings every month only for the pole dancing to stick. It's just a fun, Malec falling for the other without knowing the other is a warlock/shadowhunter at first fic, that I really should get around to writing. But, too many bunnies and too little time.

10. How many Wips are you actively working on?

So many. If we're solely focusing on the ones I have already posted on AO3 then the answer is 7, if we include the ones I'm working on by myself on my computer the answer is probably around 20.

11. Is there a scene you’re struggling to write right now?

Yes! I’m completely stuck on the next chapter of Walk Figh Fashion Baby because no matter what costume I come up with, it somehow just doesn't feel like a costume Jace would come up with.

Another one is the second chapter of Of Hiding and Waiting which I don't think is a fic many people have read (thankfully) because Cat's chapter is fighting me and has been for two years now.

12. Not a question but a second kudos!

Tagging without any pressure: @to-the-stars-writing, @echo-bleu, @miss-mouse, @faejilly and @lawsofchaos1 and anyone else who wants to participate!

[yellobb]

✨WIP Wednesday✨

Hello lovely people! It’s been a metric age since I posted one of these, but I wanted to show some appreciation to the people who still tag me every week. Y’all are the best ❤️❤️❤️

@shrekgogurt @martsonmars @aristocratic-otter @thewholelemon @bazzybelle @hushed-chorus @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @ileadacharmedlife

Anyway, I don’t have actual content to post because all I’ve been working on fandom-wise has been Inktober. However, last week someone (I can’t remember who 😭) did a personal WIP Wednesday and I’m totally stealing that, because WOW has it been a wild few months.

I think most of the people who are going to see this post already know most of this, but I’ve officially graduated college (thank fucking god), started my first full-time job, and moved halfway across the United States. It’s a lot of transition stuff, but surprisingly? I’ve actually been doing really well with it.

This past month I’ve treated myself like a work in progress, and man have I improved. I’m taking my meds every day without external pressure for the first time and the meds I’m taking actually work. I’ve been waking up at a reasonable human being time, I haven’t missed a day of work, and I’m actually learning to cook for myself. I’m also working on getting my place organized and decorated, and I’m honestly in love with it so far :) Here’s some pictures!

One of the things I’m really working on right now (and the thing that’s probably the most relevant to y’all) is actually interacting with others. I’ve made a concerted effort to hang out with someone irl one day every weekend.

This may not seem like much, but for me to make it through a full week of waking up and going to work and doing my chores (semi) regularly and still make an effort to see people on the weekend instead of just huddling in my room? It’s huge! But it’s also kind of exhausting because my body just isn’t used to that anymore. I’m used to laying in bed 24/7, so I need a LOT of recovery time in between.

This has had the side effect of not having any energy to really engage with my online friends. My social battery just runs out so quickly right now, but I’m really optimistic. I wanna start engaging in the server again because I miss you guys so much. I’ve kind of held myself back for a while because I know I can’t commit to fully being on the server like I used to right now, but I’m going to try to drop in here and there when I have the energy :)

Anyway, kudos to you if you’ve read this far :P I just wanted to give a little update on how things were going and why I haven’t been around as much. Appreciate you all ❤️❤️❤️

No pressure tags: @facewithoutheart @fwisti @artsyunderstudy @agni-ashes @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ic3-que3n @rimeswithpurple @onepintobean @raenestee @gekkoinapeartree @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @brilla-brilla-estrellita

[magebastard]

wip wursday

thank u @coldshrugs for tagging me im NERVOUS abt this 1

im soft writing an if that may stay unreleased forever bc i don’t know if i will have the willpower to consistently post updates but im done w a prologue and half of chapter 1 and it’s been a treat to write about the most romantic place on earth (a tiny beach town in new jersey) here is a scene that I had to email to myself months ago bc I couldn’t figure out how to configure it into actual code properly but this is the first major flirt scene with the ro im in love w the most currently can you tell I started writing this after re-watching the bear

tagging @mrs-theirin @lalizah @darkspawntaxcollectors @grapecaseschoices everyone truly please I need to read my pals beautiful writing

Huh. You think you'd be wise enough to know when hunger is the culprit behind your bad moods at this point in your adulthood. That cloying, constricting feeling in your gut roils in response to Jordan's good-natured accusation and your lips flatten into a smile of surrender. He snorts. You hop up to sit on the counter across from his work station.

Sticking around after close isn't too outrageous of an ask when he's the one offering to make you dinner.

Damn, but it smells good in here. You imagine it'll get old—the smell of diner food permeating the modest industrial kitchen. But now it's only making you too aware that your last meal was a stale cereal bar nearly nine hours ago. Minutes pass. Jordan bobs his head to the music playing from his phone, speakers echoing where it's propped up inside of a clear, Tupperware tub. You don't want to upset the calm of a man's kitchen closing ritual but it feels like you should say something.

"I'm sorry I snapped. I didn't mean to take my bad day out on you," you finally settle on.

His dark eyes flit to yours for barely a moment. It's not too much but it's a strange intimacy. The last two employees on a closing shift, practically basking in the quietened building. It'd be peaceful, if it weren't so bizarre.

You turn your attention to his hands. Quick and certain, he methodically prepares your omelette with an artful precision. Almost more bizarre than sharing this calm moment with your coworker, is the care he measures into each ingredient, delicately incorporated. The effort is so thoughtful, you try to swallow past the sudden tightness in your throat.

"It's all good. I've been here long enough to recognize that ‘I didn’t take a lunch break’ look on anyone," he finally responds. There's a feint, fond smile on his face and it's impossible to deny the warmth of his handsome features. You smile along.

"You know everyone here pretty well?" It's not a question you really need answered. It's obvious. The guy practically has his head on a swivel for the revolving door of coworkers coming in to update him on their personal lives, which he responds to in kind with questions or anecdotes of his own. If there's one thing you've gleaned from your first week back at the diner it's that Jordan is adored as both a friend and a pillar of the business. He's got a singular kind of reliability.

You don't realize you're still smiling until you catch him staring, his hands stalled over pan and fork.

[poupeesdecirque]

Posting by Queue, or: why I need some distance from my crafts

It has been some time since my last hobby meta blog entry, it had different reasons and one is that I need distance. Like, yes I of course enjoy crafting and sometimes I am like a little child that runs everywhere to show off things.

But it got ... less intense. And I learned I do better when I keep projects or at least details to myself to sit on them for longer. That the first euphoria is purely mine and not to be shared.

Like for my photos I have a buffer of several weeks now. Yes, I know past-me would have kind of hated that. But I learned I do better when I have a time buffer. I do take photos weekly but sometimes they don't feel special enough to get the weekly photo feature?

Friday & yesterday I went out for photos and while I like the ones from yesterday way more than the ones from friday I am not sure if the set from yesterday will get the feature or not as it's only a hand full of photos giving me that certain spark.

Other than that I am a very emotional artist, I sometimes really fuck up my art and hate it at the moment I worked on it, but then, sometimes, after a few days or weeks I can look at it and just wonder about what was my problem the day I made it.

Another thing is that I, myself, enjoy my art. The process of it. And I like to see my blog updating, sometimes I forget what post will go online and then I check the blog and think "ah yes, this was that thing!", and it reminds me why I made the blog overall, to show myself I had progress and that every tiny step counts.

Which leads to another reason why I hold back in regards of posting. Yes, I do share some snippets in my stories over on insta but not always and not all. I sit on over 300 drawings from the last two years alone nobody ever will see, I enjoyed drawing but it's nothing for the public eye. I will maybe go back and redraw some and share the redraws then, who knows?

But wait, there is actually more reasons.

The biggest or main reason is ... i sometimes go really wild on projects. In January I finished so many dolls it was insane, I worked on Cosplays and other crafts in an incredible speed, I have literally no idea where I found the time but I somehow did and doll parts arriving every week did the rest.

I keep the blog running with partially 2 month old stuff but .... to be honest I don't have doll stuff aside photos to do anymore. All I can do is wait for bodies to be shipped (or dolls even) and arrive. There has been no movement since January. Aside Iza getting the shipping notice for our Split, might take a while until its at her place and I can't really start on the Akuma until I got the body (which I at least have finally ordered this month) as colors need to be matched and mods to be made.

I am truly itchy to do something else than sewing all the time, I do enjoy cosplay but you know how much I like sewing (hint: not at all). So to remind myself of the fun I had in the past weeks I have mixed my blog to bless me with some progress I had which was maybe not sewing all the time. And well, the Cosplays have deadlines and I do get some ideas aside purely sewing while doing them, so that keeps me going for now.

Yes, I could start redoing dolls like Alastor or Erwin. But you know what? IT'S ALMOST ALL SEWING. Urgh.

Aside that real life is pretty good at eating me up and I just want to enjoy crafting. Right now drawing feels like stress relief but I hate the results and just scan the pieces and put them away to never look at them again, I have a bunch of posts queued up without any captions, a wip entry of a current project only has two photos but I lack the spoons to actually get them done. But since those posts are so far back it's fine (yes I know drafts are a thing).

In general I enjoy having my art to myself to get used to it before I put it out into the wild as I just recently got reminded I do bad with direct comparisons still and it hits some triggerpoints from the past and makes everything harder, I don't need that.

I literally have no idea if this blog makes sense even, lol. I just am tired of sewing and stopped working on my current project around lunch time and have drawn so much today and I walked way too much the whole week my friends urged me to stay the ef home and at least try to relax. But I'm restless as my body is too stressed (I know it all I'm a certified relaxation trainer so eh), so, have an over the place blog entry.

[galvanizedfriend]

I'm having a writer-feels-like-crap moment and just needed to put this out there somehow. It's personal and it doesn't make sense, it's just a head fart. If I had a comment for each message I receive about updates I might actually write more. 🥲

I have no problem being asked about updates. I know some folks don't like that type of ask, and I totally respect that, but it's never been the case with me, I appreciate the interest. Please don't think that this is a rant against people who ask for updates, because it's not. There's nothing wrong with that, at least not for me. However.

I get so many asks about updates. Some anonymous, some not. Some I reply to, some I don't. And that's all fine, it's (mostly) good-natured, there's no harm in it. But I have to wonder where do people go after I post the updates? How come I only get comments/messages about the next update, but never a comment about how they read and if they enjoyed the chapter? How is it that people think it's really helpful to only ever ask for updates but not to leave a tiny simple comment to let the person writing know they've read the actual update when it comes into being?

This is about exchange, right? If you want writers to feed you, then you should feed the writers back. If the writing sucks, if it's not worth anybody's time to read and comment, then that's fine, you don't have to comment on things you hate, in fact you SHOULDN'T. But if you do like it and you still won't comment, that's how it translates to me. I just think everyone hated it. Because I get so many asks about updates, and then when I do post updates, people either don't read, or read and then never say anything about it. To me, that says they hated it, and the sense of excitement I had upon posting dies almost instantly.

I've written three different things this month to see if any of them would stick and make me want to write some more, and even though I had some really nice, really sweet responses to some of those that I cherish so much and have gone back to read again, nothing worked. That's not to say that I won't write anymore, but it's been really hard to push through my writer's block. Every time I sit down to write, I gravitate towards the things that I'm writing for myself and that are probably never going to see the light of day, because those are the ones that I don't care about the feedback, it's just for me. But then I keep getting the asks about updates on my WIPs and I honestly don't even know if the people asking for updates have read the latest chapter. Did you enjoy it? Was it good? Is there anything you're looking forward to? I don't know.

I haven't replied to a couple yet because I don't know what to say anymore. Sorry, no updates, I feel like the worst piece of shit writer there's ever existed and don't really feel like inflicting that upon the world anymore? Cause that's really where I'm at.

I've seen countless posts going around about how commenting/rebloging has been slowly dying because the newer generations have a thing where they think it's weird to comment/reblog days/weeks after stuff has been posted. Some lingering effects of tiktok and instagram culture and people thinking that it's somehow stalkerish or something. I promise you, it is not. You can leave comments on stories posted 20 years ago on livejournal. You can reblog posts from 2014. There's nothing wrong with that. There is NOTHING better for a writer to have someone suddenly going through their entire catalogue of fics and commenting on all of them, or reading through a long story and leaving their impressions as they go, even if it's a single line of comment to say 'hey, just found this, it's great'.

I have in the past left comments on stories that had been on hiatus for YEARS, with no expectations whatsoever, and suddenly the stories came back to life because my comments somehow made a difference. I have never been happier, both because I got to see something I loved being finished and because I may have given someone the tiny little push they needed in order to get back on their writing horse. There are days when I wish for nothing more than that, but I'm an old fandom person whose old fandom friends have almost all left fandom and I'm just here typing to myself, talking to myself and getting very little feedback. (Positive feedback, mind you. The people who hate my things are not shy about letting me know their feelings.)

I don't even know anymore. I've just been feeling very discouraged overall and I honestly don't know what else to do. Maybe this is an end of the year type of blues or whatever, but it is what it is. Updates will come when they come, I guess.

But anyway, to readers out there, doesn't matter if you read my fics or not: if there's anything you enjoy out there, any fics you're following, any stories you'd like some writer to see through to the end, or any writer you wish would post more of their stuff, just remember that the only way they'll ever know there's people out there expecting to see more from them is if you tell them, and the best way to do that is to comment on their stories. It fills writers with anticipation and confidence. Trust me, it works like magic.