#this is kind of satire

[nimx]

#LangWorth Imagine right now In your mind: Interpol has Halloween party and invites Edgeworth

He is forced to dress up or something so he chooses to be a vampire. Obviously because it wouldnt be that hard for him to be one but anyways. He shows up at the party and he is like Where is agent Lang. Hes really the only person Edgeworth knows or cares about in interpol so

Lang avoids him the whole party because Lang Obviously chose to be a werewolf so theres some tension there between Vampires and Werewolves for sure. Hes kinda pissed at Edgeworth for choosing such a costume

Eventually after drinking a lot Lang comes up to Edgeworth and hes like What the hell man I thought we were cool. Scratches and bites you. And Edgeworth is like, Excuse me? and he doesnt even know what to say to that

But then Lang is like yelling at him Scratching you Biting you Rips off shirt

and Edgeworth eventually clears his throat and hes like Um. My high intellect and my agile qualities as a vampire allow me to avoid the scratches and bites you have attempted to harm me with.

Lang is like Not really man because my Bite force is literally in the millions and vampires are so fucking old so they arent really as fast as you say dude

And Edgeworth starts to get mad because Lang is soooooo wrong so he takes a step forward and hes like Your knowledge of vampires must be minuscule, because it is an elementary fact that vampires are very agile beings, and to get straight to the point, it is a belief from the populace that vampires generally out-class werewolves in every aspect. Of course, if that does not matter to you, I can say with upmost certainty that most scholars agree that vampires would beat werewolves if a given a scenario where said fight were to occur. He even waves his finger in Langs face. But Lang wasnt listening at all because he was trying to transform into an Alpha Werewolf and grow fur.

Edgeworth scoffs and hes like Really? You joined me at the marketplace of ideas and you bring nothing? and Lang is like Im a werewolf and Im scratching you and biting you but we accidentally kiss. Edgeworth is like What how did that happen? and hes a little surprised you know. But hes also confused because none of this is happening in real life still.and Lang is like Accidentally puts my werewolf arms around you and Edgeworth just looks down and hes like No you didnt your arms are by your side. Anyway this werewolf rp continues until they havesex but I cant figure out how to connect it to sex

[lynxscircushell]

something somethin cunty zim

[jellyshark-png]

that’s my pookie bear !!! the one and only grandmaster icy bear bihannie who’s done no harm and committed no crimes, i love him so dearly muah muah 🥰🥰💛💛💛💛

the details on this one goes so hard actually, i think i completely blew it out the gate for this one LMAOAHD

[chlorinatedpopsicle]

Females be like "I'm scared of being assaulted/kidnapped/murdered 😢." Meanwhile, males literally have to deal with FOG so stfu.

Oh okay I get it now. The joke is that females don't possess the intellectual capacity for deep thinking and also that deep thinking is scarier /more emotionally taxing than constantly being at risk for violence. That makes sense. (?????????)

[madame-helen]

[thevillainsfangirl]

T-shirt that says "Dirty Little Proshipper" across the titties.

[daemonhxckergrrl]

fuck like 99% of corpo buzzwords but i do love a 'Technology'. catch me out here using it for the most mundane shit

yeah i've implemented a "holistic logging technology". is it a function that prints each element of the current state to stdout every tick ? yeah. but it's a Technology. "proper mod technology". it's just the euclidean definition. "intelligent connection map technology" it's just glob patterns

[strsdacus]

the grind never stops

[yourfavesaysfag]

Daniil dankovsky from pathologic says fag?

(Ps I found this blog and have been laughing for a good few minutes I love this blog please keep up the good work!)

Daniil Dankovsky aka the Bachelor from Pathologic says fag!

[whirlybirbs]

there's a funny "birbs in the wild" story below the cut.

yesterday, i stood in the pouring rain surrounded by a gaggle of nearly ten men in u.s. wwii uniforms, while literal tanks rolled behind me, and shot blanks out of an m1 garand into the woods. i had a handsome man do the "let me show you" trope with the rifle. i was the belle of the ball. i was a princess, and these men were doing everything for me. gathering raincoats from their packs, offering me period-accurate rations. "do you want to shoot my pistol?" "let me show you my foxhole!" living history, etc, etc.

i need to document this for fourteen year old me to know that her band of brothers fantasy came true.

but. y'know. all good things must come to and end. i hope fourteen year old me isn't too crushed by the part where the brother she's there on a date with ends up being an insanely open racist over dinner.

so, you know. i guess that was period accurate too.

[starboundsingularities]

"we need more lawyers who are good at winning cases" you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma

[smoshpostiing]

THE SHOURTNEY CODED IMPLICATIONS THAT IM ONLY JUST CONNECTING LMAO

[mejomonster]

Modu by priest was truly such a good read. If you like romance? It has a sweeping romance, with a well done bisexual and gay lead (and straight best friend) all written in ways that manage to feel realistic, it's got features people likely found it for when looking for a danmei - rich manipulative younger man, older investigator who's got a hero streak, and yet those categories don't really do justice to them (and of course tao ran is the more grounded detective story lead who keeps his theories to himself and worries about dragging others into his mess).

They're so much more... Fei Du is a traumatized young man who's worried he's as monstrous as the people who scarred him, who is preparing to take the leap and cross the line to become an even more terrifying version of himself if it will destroy the corruption poisoning this city and harming so many, Luo Wenzhou is a cop that used to want to be a hero and learned he will fail people and be unable to save people and holds onto Fei Du as someone who reminds him he DOES fail but also reminds him why he wants so hard to keep Trying to help people even when it seems impossible... why trying and putting in effort to care and help Even when its too late to fix things is Worthwhile. Tao Ran is a contrast to them both, Fei Du living in a world where there's only monsters and victims and Luo Wenzhou desperately trying to force the world to be a place where justice CAN prevail and win even as he sees it fail over and over, trying so hard to believe all people have the capacity for everything and are worth trying to save. Even though Fei Du doesm't believe that, being around Luo Wenzhou makes him want to consider it. Tao Ran, their contrast? Believing the world can go either way, and its up to people like him to create any justice at all, any structure at all, or else everything is just meaningless suffering chaos. As characters, the three of them serve to explore how the world works and views on it in terms of a detective murder mystery encompassing the whole city, the small scale version of the world. Modu is a romance, but its also fully commited to being a murder mystery that wants to tackle the kind of themes that come up in the setting it's created. Its characters are so much more than Insert Character Ship types here. These characters were made this way to explore these ideas (just as the villains are all made to parallel and contrast Fei Du to explord these ideas in comparison to our point of view Fei Du moments, our impressions of Fei Du from Luo Wenzhou and Tao Rans varied perspectives, all of them are different lenses to view humanity and how it works, if the world is just or if we have to make it good, if we can be inherently good and if good people will reach out to us if we just keep treading water to survive, if its luck and chaos, and how much... and much more frankly).

Modu is like. If you want a story about a corrupt city and its victims, symbolizing a corrupt world and all of us at its mercy, and you want to see the heart of the people doing something about it. First the main trio, but also every victim Fei Du recruits to help, every murderer recruited to the corruption, all the people in the cases swayed to some side. Thats what Modu is about.

The romance is just one facet of exploring that, the personal debate about what these things mean about the world as told through two people who view this world incredibly differently. Yet find some way to exist in the same space, same mutual world, when together. It hooks you in and doesn't let you go and youre wondering right there with them, left to draw your own meaning in the end. Hopefully that its worth trying, that doing something is worth trying even when its just the trying you can do and not the succeeding, at least thats what I got from it (at least in regards to Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou meeting each other, unable to live up to the pillar they put each other on but trying anyway, is what I felt from them).

Then like? Modu gives you THAT story, which in its own right is enough to make you contemplate.

And if you're like me and care about people, about characters? Well it gives you, like I said, those big themes and a city's nightmares symbolizing the world, and brings them down to an individual level. You read from the mind of the little girl who grew up in this (one of my favorite scenes and when I felt this novel was going to not shy away from dark psychological moments and bringing them to you). You read from the mind of Fei Du when he knows himself, when he doesn't. You read from the minds of all kinds of people, and the heart of much of the investigation is peoples motives and things they'd gone through and how that shaped what they'd do next. Why they'd do it. Leaving you to wonder who's right. Jaded idealist Luo Wenzhou who wants to believe in the goodness of the people he loves, but also is willing to risk that strangers may have good intent? Fei Du who thinks theres only victims and perpetrators and everyone is going to fall into one in the right circumstance? Tao Ran, who feels the world is too messy to dare declare predictable, who thinks even your closest can betray you and even you can accidentally hurt them, nevermind strangers, and the only thing you can control and rely on is your own choices? Some mix? None of them? The side characters as they come up, grow and evolve, do they understand the world better or worse, and is the world they experience different than anothers and justify why their worldview is likewise different? Modu gives you that up close and personal, over and over. Im still thinking about it. And the way its done, they all get to feel like lived in people. Not structures to tell the themes only. But on their own, there's a personal struggle between Fei Du feeling like a monster who'll destroy Lup Wenzhou if he loves him, like his dad destroyed his mom, and Luo Wenzhou carrying the guilt he could never save Fei Du and desperate to believe in Fei Du (and keep trying to save him in that way if only that way) as person who can do good despite not being saved and despite Fei Du's fears. You could cut the entire city's plot away, all of the crimes and make the city calm, and still that core of their plot would be carrying a Lot of weight. Theyre playing a game of "enemies" to lovers sure, or whatever romance story structures they fit into. But they're also made to be deeply rooted into each other, their personal beliefs tied into the outcome of what they hope or fear happens if they are close together. Modu made me care about that. Its like the fears many people might have, abiut theur own flaws, about getting close to others, about trusting and being unsure if that trust is safe to give. Its that and magnified into bigger form, in this landscape of a fucked up city and the tragedy of Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou's meeting and former lives.

Its like. Id love to to read another danmei (Ive got a lot on my to read list). But what's going to give me roo

[davidaugust]

Ellen DeGeneres suddenly canceled tour dates last week, just as she revealed her upcoming tour may be the last chance for fans to see her. The comedian, who now jokes about being "kicked out of show business for being mean," evidently didn’t think of maybe not being mean.

[transannabeth]

for research purposes (genuinely), i'm looking to make a list of what people consider Required Viewing™ (or reading) in terms of vampire fiction. while specifically this research is for paranormal romance, other iconic vampire fiction that add to the canon would be much appreciated. i would especially be interested in any stories about non western vampiric creatures since they are absolutely out there!

some (but not all!) of my current list includes

dracula by bram stoker

carmilla by sheridan le fanu

interview with the vampire by anne rice

twilight by stephenie meyer (yeah i know)

the awakening by l. j. smith

[madame-helen]