#this is kind of a low quality doodle but i thought it was funny

[scribbling-waffle]

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[ecliip]

weeellllll since two people seem to be interested... have a doodle page

featuring goursenshi, rivuchuck, marsaint, and laiosurvivor (as well as falonk, shuntero, and namartificer)

tumblr is gonna destroy the quality. ough

also- no spoilers for delicious in dungeon please, i am a showwatcher only

ramblings for this au under the cut!

so first things first, the reason why i didnt just make the characters into original rain world characters and instead fused them with slugcat counterparts is because i really enjoy assigning characters to characters from seperate medias to fill their roles. idk why, its just really fun. and also, the slugcats are all more like dolls to me than characters, barely any set personality traits makes it so i can just put them into whatever situations i like.

but, i did assign each character a slugcat based on how well their existing characterization and lore matches!!

Gourmand as Senshi is the most obvious. theyre both very smart in the ways of the world theyre in (no way Gourmand would be such a perfectly rotund creature if they were bad at surviving), theyre both large, protector/guardian types, and most importantly, they both have heavy food correlation. also, the idea of Gourmand carrying around a large lizard skull that they cook all their meals on is great. Gourmand and Senshi are both the type to own a 15-year-old cast iron skillet that they love dearly

Rivulet as Chilchuck took a bit of consideration. it moreso stemmed from the widespread "fanon" interpretation of Rivulet as a silly, head-empty, carefree speedster. and while i do enjoy this interpretation immensely, it also made me think of how a lot of people in the show see Chilchuck as just a kid and not, yknow, a grown ass middle-aged man. i thought it would be very fun to give Rivulet that tired, sick-of-everyones-shenanigans attitude, but still have a lot of others percieve them as some cute, grumpy little slugpup. besides, Rivulet and Chilichuck aren't fighters, instead using other skills to traverse their dangerous situations. and i got to draw Rivulet really short and thats a huge bonus

Saint as Marcille also took some thinking. as Saint is the only truly diet-restricted slugcat in the game (you can gain a quarter of a pip as a carnivorous slugcat when you eat non-meat food, however Saint literally spasms on the ground if you eat a batfly) i thought it would be funny to give Saint the role of pickiest eater. Marcille also has that dark magic stuff going on, which i think Saint's ascension powers correlates to nicely.

Survivor as Laios and Monk as Falin were the last ones i decided on. i knew i wanted his role to either be Survivor or Monk, since i'd be able to make them siblings, but i kept flipflopping between if i wanted him to be Survivor or Monk. i settled on Survivor because 1: basic-looking main character thats actually really interesting, 2: Falin is more gentle, which fits Monk more, while Laios is the parties main fighter- cant afford to have fewer spear damage when you're the main defense, and 3: Laios and Falin have the same attitude when it comes to monsters, so we could just project that onto Survivor and Monk, bam personality issue solved

Hunter and Arti are Shuro and Namari because i wanted to include them. when more episodes come out and we meet more characters i will give Spearmaster and Enot their deserved roles. same goes for the iterators

additional fun facts:

i wanted the red dragon to be a red lizard, but i felt like it wouldnt be quite as intimidating in the same way the dragon was, since its so low to the ground. a king vulture seemed like a better fit for the vibe it gave off, even if its less dragon-y. of course, this is all due to change!! nothings set in stone

the rain world cycle and the dungeons curse kind of intermingle? im not quiiite sure how it works but i think the "soul remains attached to the dead body" thing would be incorporated somehow- hence why they embark to save Monk instead of just throwing themselves into the rain and waking back up at their last shelter

i am heavily debating on whether magic should be, like, a thing here. like theres saints ascension fuckery, but besides that? i got no clue. if i decide magic is a no, saint becomes extraordinarily useless, but if i decide yes, it might be too much of a tonal change?... but whatever its my au i will do what i want with it

my friend kidnapped me sat me down and binged all the currently available delicious in dungeon episodes with me and now my minds racing with ideas for a rain world au of it

[ask-the-gamekeeper]

Mun, your bane is so wholesome?? I'm-

*gently holds*

It makes me happy just seeing him on my timeline. I'll die for him

{ THANK YOU YIIYGIYGIYY im glad u like him man !! I am trying my best <3 hes so funky i rlly like him smh. AND ITS SO FUNNY bc he wasnt even a character i thought abt until i got an idea and wrote this one fanfic thing. I also think its kind of funny how its like,,, i think itd be cool for him to get along with people but thats unlikely i'll be like "hm imagine he interacts with _" just "oh? He shares a character trait with _! Maybe they could bond over that!" but its like he just igigyigyv no he dont wanna bond he dont like people. Well, survivors mostly. He gets along decently with the other hunters.

BUT YEAH THANK U IM GLAD U LIKE HIM here take 2 little low quality doodles and have a nice day bc ur epic <3 }

{ p.s. be careful holding him he might - probably will - attack u. }

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

I MEAN IT GAVE ME CHILLS IN A GOOD WAY. and also it would be hilarious to write imo; just these 6 dudes that all look the same and just made up A Guy.

“Thomas,” Roman announces quite suddenly, with a triumphant gesture that manages to inadvertently sweep half of the script drafts off the couch in the process.

“I still can not believe we’re doing this,” Virgil says.

“Oh, you’d better believe it, Way Down Gay-destown, ‘cause I just got the perfect name for him. Thomas. That’s his name – Thomas Sanders.” Roman pauses, and wiggles his fingers a bit. “Thoughts?”

Remus perks up. “Oh, our fictional character has thots now?”

“Crawling all over him like weevils,” Virgil nods.

“I thought we were calling ourselves ‘Sides’,” says Janus.  

“Guys, please,” Roman begs.

“Thomas sounds good to me,” is Patton’s opinion. “It’s nice and friendly, and also it has two syllables, like the rest of us! It kind of fits in like that.”

“It is a surprisingly apt name, especially when you take into consideration that Roman most likely did not know of the linguistic root when picking it,” Logan muses.

Remus waves a hand lazily from where he’s draped backwards over the couch, writing Transformers inflation porn on the notes app of his shitty phone. “Uh, noparoni, falsehood, all that jazz. I was watching. He went on babynames dot com and everything for this.”

“...What he said, yeah.”

“Ah, yes, babynames dot com, the internet’s premier and leading source for all accurate name derivations,” comes the dry response.

“Thomas means twin,” Roman says. “It means twin, and it’s funny because we all look identical! It’s like another layer of meaning! A fun little injoke, just for us.”

“Yes,” says Virgil, “you’re right. We need many, many deep layers of meaning and in-jokes woven into the shared identity we’re crafting as part of Roman and Remus’s wild, spur-of-the-moment internet scam.”

“How dare you,” Roman objects loudly, flailing so suddenly that he nearly falls off the couch. “This is polar opposite of a scam, we’re – we are merely taking advantage of our uncanny shared appearance to... share joy amongst the humble Youtube vlogging community! And perhaps show off. Just a little. But to say that it’s a scam – ”

“No, this is definitely a scam,” Janus says. “I mean, look at us. We’re inventing an entire person for internet clout.”

Patton looks like he’s having second thoughts about this whole thing. “I’m having second thoughts,” he says. “Like, on an ethical, moral sort of level, is any of this... really a good idea?”

“People invent other people for shittier reasons all the time, I think we’re fine,” Virgil says. “I mean, look at internet catfishes. Or every male fiction writer with a very obvious and creepy fetish. Or J.K. Rowling.”

“J.K. Rowling doesn’t exist?” Janus says. “Excellent. We won, boys.”

Roman grabs a pen and scribbles it into the notebook, next to a hasty little stickman doodle of an average-looking guy and a list of qualities and attributes and skills. “Well, all that aside, nobody seems to have an objection to this, so Thomas it is! Thomas Sanders. Thomas I’ve-Just-Realized-He-Needs-A-Middle-Name Sanders.”

“Thomas F Sanders,” Remus suggests.

“The F stands for ‘Fucking’, doesn’t it,” sighs Patton.

“Well, yeah.”

“Way to go for the low-hanging fruit, dude,” Virgil says. “Okay, put a pin in the middle name for now. Our collective brainchild has a name, so... that’s something. I guess.” He grabs the notebook from Roman and squints down at the short-ish list they have so far. “Any more character traits we wanna give this guy?”

“Intense love of Disney films,” Roman says.

“We’ve already got that; you suggested it about five times already.”

“Maybe he can play the ukulele!” Patton suggests.

Virgil nods, and starts to write it down before stopping abruptly. “Wait. Can any of us play the ukulele?”

Silence.

“He can only have traits that we already have,” Virgil reminds them. “That’s the whole idea. We’re derivatives of him.”

“Well, I’ll work on the ukulele thing,” Roman says decisively. “Put it down anyway. Anyone else?”

“He can’t cook to save his life,” Janus says.

“Catholic guilt,” Logan provides, with a little wince and a slight adjustment of his glasses. “It provides a good base for many of the plotlines we wish to include in this, I believe.”

“Give him a huge dick,” Remus says.

“Remus,” Roman growls.

“Just a humungous badonker of a penis. He beats his meat and the entire earth rumbles.”

“Remus,” Patton groans.

Remus grins. "He’s packing some real chunky meat down there. As in, his drill is a five star excavator. A proper manmade wonder. It's the kind of meal you get a prize for finishing. A bridge between two warring nations. And the girth! God had to resize the Earth so the radii wouldn't match. You can use his cast iron pelvic greatsword as a radiation shield in Chernobyl. His – "

“Remus, weren’t you listening? We’re only giving him traits that we already have,” Virgil says, looking Remus dead in the eyes. “I’m not going to let you misrepresent yourself like this.”

The room almost immediately erupts into a loud chorus of enthusiastic oohs. Quite a few people throw things at Virgil, who lets out a snort of amusement and ducks to avoid getting nailed in the eye by a stray television remote control. Remus just cackles.

“We’re going to have to tone back the dick jokes, probably,” says Janus with some regret, once everybody calms down a bit. “Don’t want to get demonetized within the first few weeks.”

“Well, Remus already broke the Youtube demonetization speedrun last week, so at least we know what not to do,” Patton says absently. “The real question is, though – who’s going to actually play this Thomas person?

“Don’t look at me,” says Janus. “I’m looking forward to getting the play the villain for once.”

Patton points at him, mock-glaring. “Hey, don’t think you’re missing out on a redemption arc just because you like the evil aesthetic!”

Janus lets out a little affronted hissing noise at that, but doesn’t actually object.

“Well, I’m not shaving my moustache for any of you fuckers, no matter how much internet clout we’re gonna get for it,” Remus declares.

A quick, meaningful glance is exchanged between the four remaining people in the room.  

“Leave me out of it,” Virgil decides.

“I don’t really mind, either way,” Patton says.

“In that case, I shall arm-wrestle you for the honor of portraying our glorious, talented and entirely fictional centre of being on our upcoming Grammy-award-winning sixty-part webseries,” Roman declares, flexing dramatically.

“Which may or may not be a scam,” Logan says.

“...Look, are we doing this or what?”

“Absolutely.” Logan places down his book, and shrugs off his jacket. “I should warn you, however – I am what I believe is colloquially referred to as ‘absolutely fucking ripped’.” He breaks out into a surprisingly wicked smile. “Roman, let me be clear. I am going to be the one to portray Thomas Fucking Sanders, our beloved nonexistent media superstar culmination-of-our-collective-selves. And I am about to flat-out destroy you. Let’s go.”

There’s a beat of silence as everybody stares at Logan. The stares range from impressed to terrified to obviously horny. All of these are equally valid emotions to be feeling, because Logan is ripped, and somehow none of them have ever realized this before.

“Well, before we do that, give me five minutes to make popcorn,” says Janus. “Because I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”

[seijurosempress]

@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario: 

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she���s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

[nomanwalksalone]

TWELVE ANGRY MEN AND ONE DISMISSED JUROR

by Daniel Penny

I was recently called up by the State of New York to serve on a jury. Until then, I’d successfully postponed every previous summons, so I didn’t know what to expect. As a kind of low effort piece of research, I decided to consult a favorite courtroom drama: Twelve Angry Men.

When I’m not serving as a juror or scribbling about clothes, I teach creative writing, and Twelve Angry Men is one of my favorite stories to discuss with students. Set in New York in the 1950s, 12 jurors are sent back to the jury room to decide the fate of an offscreen defendant accused of murdering his father. The judge reminds them that “the penalty is death.” Everybody is convinced of the boy’s guilt except for one man, Juror Number 8, played by Henry Fonda. A battle of wits, persuasion, and bluster ensues, as Fonda chips away at the prosecution’s argument and slowly overturns the jurors’ assumptions about what a “poor kid from a slum background” is capable of. Side note: Amy Schumer has updated this classic film to satirize contemporary beauty standards–twelve male jurors must decide if “potato-face” Schumer is hot enough to be on TV. It’s worth watching just to hear Paul Giamatti use the phrase “reasonable chub.”

One of the reasons I teach 12 Angry Men (aside from its critical attitude toward the justice system) is because of how distinct Reginald Rose is able to make his characters–despite the fact that none of them have names and we never get to see them outside the courtroom. On paper, Rose does this with dialogue–jurors each have a very particular way of speaking: cracking jokes, talking in short, clipped sentences, or pausing with uncertainty. But in the film version, costume plays just as big a part in telling the viewer what kind of a man each juror is.

All of these men begin as a type. A wisecracking guy in a rush to get to a ball game wears a sport coat, open polo, and straw hat. An ad-man off Madison Avenue appears in a suit with a trim white shirt, skinny tie, and slicked back hair. He doodles absent-mindedly during deliberation. Another juror wears an expensive looking structured suit and gold-rimmed glasses, and speaks in highly logical paragraphs. We are meant to think of him as a banker, or perhaps an executive. (Styleforum member “upr_crust” bears an uncanny resemblance.) The jurors’ costumes visually reflect their occupations, their personalities, and worldviews. However, by the end of the film, what each man thought he knew about the others has been complicated or overturned, and the audience is left to ponder the ambiguity of appearances.

In real life, I had a much harder time getting a bead on my fellow jurors, perhaps because the year was 2017, and we were all dressed so casually. As in 12 Angry Men, it was a hot day, and most people wore short sleeves–whereas the men in the film had chosen to sweat in dignity. Some of us were nurses, teachers, or retired, but we had each dressed according to our personal tastes rather than attempting to telegraph our station in life. The only people whose jobs I could identify just by looking at them were the police officers and the lawyers; even the judge had chosen to skip her robe for the jury selection process.

At the end of the day, I walked out of the courtroom having been dismissed during the voir dire.  Next to “yoga” and “walking my dog” I had included my support of the Democratic Socialists of America in my list of hobbies–hoping to set off a red flag no sane attorney could overlook. I was happy to know I wouldn’t be stuck on a wooden bench for three weeks deciding a medical malpractice lawsuit, but I was also a little disappointed in my day in court. Where were the sheets of sweat, the smoking, the hats and the funny ties? The day was less suspenseful and more grindingly boring than I’d anticipated–I spent most of my time waiting around, filling out forms, and listening for my name to be called. Still, things in the criminal justice system have improved since the era of 12 Angry Men. At least this court was air-conditioned.

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This post first appeared on the No Man blog in 2018.

[dragonoffantasyandreality]

Kamen Rider Thunderbirds chapter 2

Finally its here! I should thank @willow-salix​ for some tips and @gumnut-logic​ for the review *hugs you tightly* Hai! so on with the chapter! :D

-0-0-0-

With a turn of the tap, a jet of hot water cascaded down on the pruning skin and exhausted muscles. They welcomed its heat as they relaxed.

It was quite a stressful rescue of getting the poor fellas out of that cave in Mexico. After returning home and reported the rescue, nothing like a good hot shower for the all mighty Scott Carpenter Tracy

He washed his dark-brown hair with silky shampoo and scrubbed his fit body with sweet shower gel that smelled lavender

God, that felt good

With all the dirt and dust gone, Scott turned off the shower and got off

He then spends his time fixing his hair. He needed to look good… always! Even when his little brothers make fun of him taking too much time with his hair, the eldest will always be the most handsome one

Finally satisfied with his work, Scott got himself dressed with his classic blue turtle-neck, grey jacket and black jeans, then wandered off to lounge

Familiar harmonies filled his ears and the room, all coming from the beautiful white Grand Piano. Its keys been gracefully pressed by the oh so talented fingers of his younger brother, Virgil Grissom Tracy

The auburn haired man smiled at him the moment Scott entered the lounge and gave him a salute before continuing his wonders of music

Scott looked at the wall where five portraits of him and his brothers were hung. 

Underneath them sat his trouble maker of a brother, Gordon Cooper Tracy, who was playing chess with Brains, the genius who help turn International Rescue into a reality

Looks like today the redhead seemed not feeling like pranking anyone

All in all, it was another quiet and mundane day at Tracy Island

Until...

"Urgh~!" A prolonged groan caught the eldest attention of a young blonde, who just splattered himself into one of the sofas of the lounge

Ah! Their baby brother, the youngest of the Tracy brothers, Alan Sherperd Tracy

Looks like he just came back after a short sprint around the island exhausted as hell… again

"What's up, Alan?" Scott smirked

A pout combined with a grumbling noise gave him the answer

"Gee, you're really are not fit…" the eldest teased

"Scott…" Alan whined, only to hear Gordon snickering quietly in the background "Not funny… I was trying to keep myself fit yet you fellas like take a tease out of me every time I get tired,"

"Alan! That's enough," got out a baritone voice 

Their father, the famous billionaire ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy, was sitting at his desk with papers all over it. He starred sternly at his sons

"All of you need to keep yourselves fit, it's not just you Alan," Jeff began, "You need fitness in order to be capable of performing tasks to save lives. No one wants to be rusty during a rescue, right?"

"Right, father" affirmed Scott

"Guess you're right dad," nodded Alan

"Understood, father" agreed Virgil

"Loud and clear, dad" grinned Gordon

"Good," smiled Jeff, "Looks like I made myself clear"

After finishing signing some of the paperwork on the desk, he turned on the TV behind him

"Now, let's see what's on the news today..." The patriarch muttered

"Today this Friday morning, four Kamen Riders had been spotted fighting a monster in Moore, Oklahoma…"

Immediately, Alan was the first to rush to his father's desk and promptly sat on a chair, staring dead straight into the monitor with a face-splitting smile and his blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm

The rest of the family followed suit, ears and eyes wide open with curiosity

"Witnesses said the monster was about to terrorize their neighborhood, only to be saved once again by the heroic Riders. As the masked heroes fought the monster, it gave time to the authorities to evacuate the area"

Alan was quietly squealing with excitement as he listened, much to the confusion of Scott and the amusement of Virgil and Gordon

"Some of the rescuees managed to videotape the fight before police arrived at the scene..."

The news switched to the videos that the witnesses managed to capture of the Riders fighting the menacing threat, the Tracy family watching carefully with awe

The videos were almost blurry and mostly shaking. But, they could see 5 figures… 4 of them are fighting a threatening looking creature, looking like it's trying its best to fight back but was outnumbered. The last video showed the monster exploding into nothing

"Once again, the Kamen Riders saved the day. We are grateful for their bravery and we all gonna hope they continue their amazing yet otherworldly work!"

"Those courageous guys," muttered Jeff, "They never fail to impress me"

"You don't say, father!" excitedly chimed Alan

"Not surprised…" smirked Gordon

"What?" Alan growled,

"What? Every time there's news about those Riders, either on radio, TV or newspapers, you get way too enthusiastic about them!" Gordon pointed out, "I wonder what so special about your 'karate bugmen'"

"And why are you so interested in them?"  Virgil raised an eyebrow teasingly, crossing his arms

"Why? Because they are the coolest fellas I've ever seen!" expressed Alan as he was waving his hands, "They say superheroes aren't real, but Kamen Riders do! They possess powers that exceeded our wildest dreams! Don't you think it's also amazing at the fact that they are saving people with those kinds of powers. It's like a dream come true!"

Oh, is it no wonder Alan was obsessed with them? Thought Scott

Well, it shouldn't be a surprise, their baby brother was obsessed with the bugmen since he was 14. 

It all started with a news magazine. There was a small section with a tiny history behind them accompanied by few low quality and blurry pictures. Since then, Alan was invested every time they appeared

Kamen Riders does spark a bit of curiosity in Scott, he had to admit, and the rest of his brothers

"Can't say I blame you, Alan" admitted Jeff while turning off the TV

Everyone turned at him with curious looks

"What do you mean, father?" Virgil asked

"They existed longer than any of us, even before we went into operations," he explained, "But it's not just that that fascinates me. As Alan had said, these fellas are gifted with powers beyond our understanding. It's still baffles me that such people exist (if they are people at all),"

Scott noticed Brains mumbling to himself. He was lost into his own bright mind, his face told curiosity

The eldest of the Tracy brothers was about to say something, but his dad had already beaten him

"What are you thinking, Brains? Do we know anything else about them?"

"W-well, Mr, T-Tracy, I have observed the f-footage and have deduced that their, uh, their powers, have to be organic in nature," Brains explained

"What do you mean by that?" Scott raised a brow

"That they are not derived from human technologies…"

"What about the monsters that they were fighting?" quipped Gordon, seeming interested, “Why did those creatures want to enslave or eradicate humanity?”

"That G-Gordon, I don't know. Either way, we, we better thank the R-Riders to stop whatever evil schemes they p-planned to do,” the genius answered

“It's like those… Um… What are they called?” Gordon rubbed his chin as he thought

“What 'they'?" Virgil raised a brow

"You know, those 'things' who started killing and possessing people and all that crap ever since we've started colonizing Mars?"

"The Mysterons?" Alan replied

"Yes! Those guys! And some races of 'seamen' who seemed to hate us 'terranians' for some reason"

"That is Spectrum's and WASP's job to keep them at bay," noted Jeff

"Now that I think about it, why does everything want to kill us?" commented the redhead 

"That’s enough, Gordon" Scott cuffed the back of the prankster's head

"Actually, why are they called 'Kamen Riders'?” pondered Alan, “That’s a really strange name for superheroes,"

" 'Kamen' comes from a Japanese word for 'masked', since they originated from Japan," said a smart and sexy sounding voice

All turned to the portrait turned vid-com of the middle child of the Tracy brothers, John Glenn Tracy, who smiled when his sudden appearance startled his youngest brother

"Which means they are 'Masked Riders', so this isn’t that ‘strange’", continued the space monitor, "It totally makes sense since they ride on their weird looking motorbikes and we have no idea what they look like behind those bug-faces, "

"Ah, look who decided to throw smartass facts from the floating space can" grinned Gordon teasingly

"I've been hearing you fellas this whole time, squid face," deadpanned John

Jeff chuckled at the little commotion

"Hi, John. How are you doing up there?" greeted warmly the patriarch of International Rescue 

"Doing fine, father," the tall blond replied with confidence that seemed to be unbreakable, "All systems are go and the frequencies are coming in smoothly,"

Jeff smiled hearing the excellent news

That John...

As much he is the introvert of the Tracy brothers, he never stop surprising his siblings with his calculated bright mind

"Uh, John?" Asked Brains so suddenly, but that didn't startled the astronaut

"Yes, Brains?" Responded the space monitor

"Can we talk to my lab so we can examine the, uh, the footage more closely? We can make out theories about how the Riders use their powers,"

"FAB," acknowledged John

"Already found another side-project, Brains?" Scott chuckled,

The genius smiled at him, excitement shone behind his glasses, "I need something to do, Scott. As a matter of fact, I always wanted to study the K-Kamen Riders for a while!"

"Aw, Brains…" groaned Gordon, but in a childlike manner, "We haven't finished our chess game yet!"

"Uh, later, G-Gordon," Brains affirmed, "Right now, I got some 'bugmen' to study," before doodling away to his lab as hummed in excitement

Scott’s father laughed wholeheartedly, knowing how invested his old partner can get with something as intriguing as the ever mysterious Kamen Riders

“Well, gotta go help Brains,” remarked John, “Thunderbird 5, out…” before cutting off, the screen returned back into a painting once more

After that, everyone returned to their daily activities after that. Jeff told everyone to relax while they still can, before grabbing a book to read. Virgil said he’ll go to Thunderbird 2’s hangar to do maintenance and true to his word he went . Scott decided to play chess with Gordon as there was nothing else to do, while Alan just referee the game

The thought of Kamen Riders still linger in Scott’s mind, however. Who are they? Are they just people, like himself and the rest of the world? Who just so happens being gifted with powers that surpasses science?

He doesn't know…

No one knows...

Scott must've been distracted, because by the time he was think about the subject, he’s already got checkmated by Gordon

After a couple of laughs, throwing each other challenges(with Alan wished he had with him popcorn to watch the ‘epic chess battle’), they re-matched once again

It’s just another day at Tracy Island

-0-0-0-

Somewhere in a deep, tropical jungle, there was a menacing looking temple

Inside was a man in black clothing, standing near a round, ancient altar

He had already finished the ritual

The altar awakened in a bright glow of evil aura

Four amulets was insert in each side of the altar, glowing with each of their elements when a chorus of voices echoed the chamber's of the temple

"Who thou released us, what is your wish?"

The man in black smiled grimly as he told the answer, "I want an organization known as 'International Rescue' to fall into oblivion, so I can be the most powerful man in the world!"

A red amulet suddenly glowed brightly and took off from it's socket of the altar. It flew to the center before it was then engulfed in flames. After a few moments, the fire had faded. Leaving in its wake a silhouette of a menacing creature

Glowing red evil eyes stared into the man in black, seemingly reading his mind, before letting out a chilling grin

“I shall melt their fragile ships into nothing but molten metal…”

“Then I shall burn their feeble flesh to ashes…”

“And your wish shall be granted within an essence made out of their souls…”

 The temple shook by the sounds of maniacal laughs and echoed through the forest. It scared the wildlife as they run away from its evil influence

The master plan had begun...

The nightmares had been unleashed to the world...

tbc...

[andaleduardo]

reddie.,....94,....if you’re feelin it :’)

I had so much fun!! Thank you for sending this and I’m sorry if the ending is rushed I didn’t know what to do with it and I wanted to keep it ‘short’

Heavily inspired by chaotic and energetic Eddie Kaspbrak, he’s a brat and we love him.

94. “You heard me say what in my sleep? Wait–why were you even listening in the first place?!”

If you were to ask Richie what his favorite place on earth was, he would say the clubhouse without hesitation. Yeah sure, it was also located in Derry, also known as the worst place on earth if Richie could say so himself. But it felt as if it were far away, nowhere exactly. It was their own world, their own corner, sometimes it could feel more of a home than their own houses.

And that applied to all seven of them. 

Every corner of the clubhouse was filled with amazing memories, all of them engraved in their hearts. Stupid doodles and words carved into the wood. Little trinkets, toys and pictures littering every surface. Movie tickets pinned to the pillars, low quality polaroids hanging on battery-charged christmas lights, and all kinds of cozy additions they managed to bring down there. 

Now, they kept blankets and pillows inside a big box so that they wouldn’t get dirty, per Stan’s request, and some old stools and bean bags that took up a lot of space, but they weren’t complaining. The hammock was still a part of the family, of course.

The clubhouse had been the stage of many memorable moments. On top of that, Richie had some fun self discoveries while being down there. The most prominent one, painted in big bold letters, being the realisation that what he felt for Eddie was more than just friendship. This, of course, lead to a more obvious conclusion.

So, Richie liked boys. Big deal, right?

Yeah, a pretty fucking big deal that got him tearing his hair out and biting his nails away.

But well, life kept going and Richie had to learn to cope with the knowledge that he had a crush on his best friend. Also had to learn how to control himself whenever they sat close, or touched, or had any type of interaction. Which meant always. Richie had to learn how to control himself always. Because Eddie was always touching him and bickering back at him and being annoying (which Richie loved). And Richie would blush and sweat and stutter like Bill.

Now they were sixteen, so Richie had enough time to perfect his skills. Three years to be exact.

Of course, all those skills were thrown out the window as soon as he caught himself alone with Eddie. He just couldn’t help but feel like he was thirteen again, having just figured out about his feelings and acting like a complete idiot.

Right now was one of those moments. Richie had been tired of being home so he decided to go down to the barrens and hang in the clubhouse. He did that a lot, even if none of his friends were there he would still stay. But he quickly noticed he wasn’t alone as he climbed down the ladder and took a glance around the space. A pair of legs hanged off the hammock. Legs that could only belong to Eddie because of the familiar sneakers and white socks. 

Immediately, Richie got his years of practice into action. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite type of pasta hiding down here on this fine summah day!” He exclaimed as he jumped from the third step.

The answer was silence. 

The pillar was blocking Eddie’s face from Richie’s vision so he made his way over to the hammock only to realise the boy was asleep, an unfinished comic laid open on his lap.

This was the type of situation Richie didn’t really know how to deal with. Two full minutes passed as he stared at Eddie’s sleeping form, trying to decide if he should wake him up by flipping the hammock upside down or let him sleep and wake up on his own. But soon those thoughts shifted. Without noticing, Richie wound up staring at Eddie’s peaceful face with no other thought in his mind besides: ‘That’s cute.’

“Fuck.” He sighed loudly. And then proceeded to keep staring like an idiot. It sounded creepy even in his mind, but he couldn’t help it, okay? Eddie was just that cute, and he was never allowed to stare because Eddie would start hitting him and telling him to ‘quit it, you creep’.

Richie wasn’t a creep, or so he hoped. He was just hopelessly in love.

Now, there’s a thought that doesn’t scare him at all, no sir.

“Fuuuck.” He groaned again and physically forced himself to walk away, looking for something to do while Eddie took his nap. Surely he’d be waking up soon.

For a total of four minutes Richie busied himself with his yo-yo, mindlessly walking in circles around the small space and only stealing glances at his friend once or twice. After that, he was downright bored, so he started looking around the stuff they kept stored down there hoping to find another distraction.

Stan’s can of shower caps stole his attention right away. He squinted at it curiously while an idea popped into his head. Stan had bought one shower cap for each of them, and Richie knew somewhere in that little tin there was one with a dinosaur print that was meant to be his, but he never worn it out of pride. 

Throwing another look over his shoulder to see if Eddie was still asleep, Richie grabbed the tin. Since he was the master of subtleness, he let the lid fall on the ground with a horrible noise. His neck snapped back to check Eddie, but the boy didn’t even stir.

Okay, that’s cool. Leaving the lid on the ground for the moment, Richie found what he was looking for and carefully placed the tin back in its place. It was no big deal, he just wanted to put his shower cap on at least once, so that’s what he did. Patting the top of his head to matt it down a little, he felt a little ridiculous, but he liked the pattern Stan picked out for him. He had always been a fan of dino-

“Richie.”

“Shit! I’m not wearing this, you are!” Richie fisted the thing off his head and threw it far away without looking before turning to face Eddie. Who was… still asleep and giggling?

Right, Eddie talked in his sleep sometimes. Richie could almost sigh from relief.When they were younger, Eddie would sleep over at Richie’s frequently even before he discovered the sleep talking thing. The first time it happened Richie almost peed himself because he woke up to Eddie sitting on the feet of the bed and whispering at him.

“Tell him to leave, Richie… he’s taking my space… send him away.” 

It hadn’t been fun. Richie had started crying because he didn’t know what the fuck Eddie was talking about and they were eight, okay? He was allowed to cry when he thought there was a demon laying in bed by his side that only Eddie could see.

Over time it had gotten better, Eddie didn’t move much now while he slept, but he still mumbled and called for the people he was dreaming about. 

Which meant he was dreaming about Richie. And giggling at the same time.

Richie was sure his face was very red, it suddenly felt really hot inside the clubhouse. He had decided to let it go and try to find a subtle way to wake up Eddie when the boy started mumbling through giggles again.

“Rich… stop that…” 

And that was enough to make his ears burn and for him to do a reckless thing. He stomped his way over to the hammock and fisted both hands on the fabric. Then, he tugged and screamed

“WAKE UP!” while Eddie’s body rolled onto the ground on the other side with a loud thump.

“WHO FUCKING DIED?!” Eddie screamed as he woke up mid-air, a split second before he fell on the wood. “FUCK!”

Still unaware of Richie’s presence, Eddie groaned as he slowly lifted himself into a sitting position and massaged his forehead from where he hit it on the floor. 

Richie was a jerk.

“Morning, sleeping beau-

“HOLY FUCK!” Eddie screamed again.

“Jesus, can you scream some more? I think there’s still a piece of my left eardrum that’s intact.”

“Did you fucking push me, asshole?” 

“No…?” Richie tried.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Eddie spat as he got up and brushed dirt and dust from his clothes. 

Richie tried to come up with an answer, but it was useless as Eddie started one of his ‘let’s trash Richie and speak a million words per second’ discourses. The only thing that came to his mind to save his ass from having to listen to Eddie’s endless rambling was to say something really fast and, most importantly, without thinking first.

“I HEARD YOU SAYING MY JOKES WERE FUNNY IN YOUR SLEEP!”

“You heard me say what in my sleep?” Bad choice. “Wait–why were you even listening in the first place?! How long was I asleep? You should have just woke me up-”

“Aw Eds, you’re just embarrassed because now I know the truth. You think I’m funny, I’m hi-la-ri-ous!”

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose and placed a hand on his hip in deep frustration. “You know what? Fine! Whatever you say, Richie. If that helps you sleep at night.”

It was really the perfect opportunity. 

“Helps me? More like helps you sleep at night, Spaghetti. But there’s no need to be ashamed! I get it, I get it, I’m so handsome that I appear on all your dreams to make you happy all night long-”

And then the metal lid of Stan’s tin flew right onto his head.

-

Send me prompts from this list or any that you have :)

perma taglist:  @constantreaderfool @mrs-vh @eds-trashmouth @girasol-eddie

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Rolycoly Family

837: Rolycoly

OHHHH!!!! OH OH!!!!! THE COAL MONSTER!!! THAT I PUT ON MY WISHLIST! OH How I instantly fell in love with this little guy when it was first revealed. This design is so neato in its lovable simplicity. At first glance it's little more than a chunky hunk of coal with a single eye. Oh, but they eye GLOWS as if it has coal burning on the inside! That on top of its general body shape makes it look like a living miner's helmet! Hah, how clever and original for a little coal critter!

It even has a unique ability that has it interacting with Fire and Water, boosting the Pokemon's speed if its hit with moves of those type! Cool! And how I LOVE that grumpy little visage it has. It's just a single eye but it still lends so much fun personality to the thing. But Rolycoly comes with a little something extra:

It's on a WHEEL! It has an entire wheel-shaped shard of coal on its underside that allows it to roll around like a unicycle! That is PRECIOUS! And boy howdy has the excitement for what this thing could possibly turn into get me pumped. So many neat Fakemon ideas floating around. That and I absolutely KNEW I was gonna be using a Rolycoly once I started playing the game myself. I just HAVE to see what this coal dude turns into!

Personal Score: 10/10

838: Carkol

Oh, well... hrmmmm. We're not off to a fantastic start, I guess. My instant turn-off on the other side of that evolution screen was that Rolycoly instantly lost its cool cycloptic eye in favor of a much more regular looking face. Why does it just look like Golem's face??? Like I can't stress this enough. If a Pokemon has a unique feature, especially one that is a rarity like a single eye, or a droopy face, or having shaggy hair cover the majority of its face, or even a complete LACK of face, it absolutely should NOT lose these features unless it has a compelling enough reason to, like fulfilling a design theme. There are so little Pokemon that are cycloptic that it's SO ANNOYING that it instantly fails at step 1.

I also don't really like that's already SORTA lost the wheels. They're there, and they function as wheels, but they're behaving a lot more like legs most of the time. It doesn't even keep its glowing eyes. They light up during certain animations but that's it. Nor do I like that a pile of coal is precariously going over its back. It makes it stop looking like a coal monster and just that it's a monster that carries coal. The shape of its back should evoke the look of a mine cart filled with coal and not BE a mine cart full of coal, if you get what I'm saying?

Even if it was just the face that was redone, I would've taken it. But if I could do a little tidying up and redoing of Carkol, it wouldn't take a TON to do it. The basic shape is fine to me, just good lord please give it its face and wheels back.

Personal Score: 5.5/10

...But not all hope is lost just yet! There's loads of Pokemon with a good beginning, and low middle, and a good end. Awkward teenage stage am I right? Even if its face isn't just a single eye anymore, at least it's keeping the wheeled theme! In fact, you could really build off of that! Like making it a train! A TRAIN POKEMON, LIKE ON MY WISHLIST AGAIN! That'd be knocking out two birds with one piece of coal! Surely they couldn't possibly think of ditching that aspect of this line, especially since it's been present in two stages so far! Surely the least possible thing that could happen would be if this almost literal mine cart Pokemon had suddenly lost all its wheels and miraculously turned into a generic bipedal dinosaur that walks like literally any other Pokemon out of nowhere. That’d be like, the worst case scenario. But that wouldn’t happen, right?

...

...Right?

839: Coalossal

Not to come off as blunt right off the gate here but this did it. I didn't think it was gonna be possible. Gallade is no longer my least favorite Pokemon of all time. Because in the end, as much as you could say Gallade sullies the Gardevoir line's unique take on a knight just by association, you can at least IGNORE Gallade. Just evolve your male Kirlia into a Gardevoir anyway because Gardevoir is just better than Gallade in every way anywho. Gallade? Literally WHO??? But Coalossal is impossible to ignore if you were a fan of what Rolycoly was putting down. And even Gallade had a FEW merits to it. Coalossal has almost systematically taken every little bit of what has cool and unique about Rolycoly and thrown it out the window in favor of being an all-around copy-paste job.

Okay, for a moment, let's pretend Rolycoly and Carkol never existed. Coalossal was just a single-stage Pokemon on its own in a cave somewhere or whatever. What about Coalossal is individually unique to it and it alone? Sincerely close to absolutely nothing. No single individual aspect of this design is unique in any way. Want to know the major reason why? Because Coalossal already existed. We've already had Coalossal for about ten years now. But back then, we called it Rhyperior.

I'm personally not a gigantic fan of Rhyperior either, but look at this. This is absolutely comedic. They're the fucking same. They are the SAME creature. Coalossal is nothing but an off-color Rhyperior. Like come ON. At least Rhyperior has the benefit of having is rough body serve a visual motif where it's wearing construction gear, with sound-canceling headphones, complete with wrecking ball tail. A solid rock monster design, even if I personally prefer Rhydon. I can confidently look at Rhyperior and see that it’s gone through revisions, redraws, and polishes to make it unique even in its own evolutionary line.

Can I say the same for Coalossal? I honestly can't say I do. With Rhyperior fresh in mind, what's Coalossal's visual motif? It's made of coal, I guess? Its face SORT OF looks like a cowcatcher on a train. But here's a question, why doesn't it look MORE like a train if train was clearly a motif they wanted to go with? If it's a train monster, why is it bipedal in the first place?

The only bit of its design that's even a little eye-catching is the pile of coal clumsily piled onto its shoulders, but I already said why I don't like that. It makes it look like Coalossal itself isn't a coal monster, it just carries coal around. Besides, most well-done designs aught to still have at least some value to them even if you took away one aspect of said design. Rhyperior with a plain tail with no wrecking ball is still a funny construction site rhino man. Even Carkol with no coal on its back would've still been a weirdo mine cart monster. Coalossal without the pile of coal is just naked Rhyperior.

Things only get worse when you add Carkol and especially Rolycoly back into the equation. Rolycoly's unique features were that it was a coal monster with one eye, riding on a wheel and it's shaped like an object. Carkol at least continues most of this, mostly ridding of the single eye thing. Coalossal gets rid of all that's left. No more wheels, no more object shapes, no more fun, it's just a coal thing now. Literally the first thing that comes to your mind when you think “I want to make a coal monster.” A rough draft in monster design form, printed and published for the full release.

I have to wonder, how many questions of whether this looked good or not the decisions to make in a train monster but also a bipedal dinosaur-thing was a well enough thought-through idea? Is being a dinosaur with a cowcatcher on its head visually interesting? More visually interesting than its previous stages, where it had far more visual motifs going on? Was it a conscious decision to say yes or was there a time crunch where they had to settle on a “close enough” design to pad out the Pokedex?

And you know what's more than likely the thing that murdered this line? Time.

I feel bad for possibly implying it was going to be nothing but smooth sailing this Gen when I made my little Sword and Shield pre-review. Because the more I've dug into Gen 8 the more I've realized how many designs in here are heavily flawed. And I can only blame the very evident drop in quality on the clear lack of time Gamefreak has these days. Generations are getting shorter and shorter and it's starting to show. Had SwSh not happened for another couple years, I guarantee I wouldn't be making this rant right now. This kind of blunder is simply so uncharacteristic of Gamefreak's art department. Like say what you will about the games themselves but Pokemon's been running strong from Gens 5 to 7. It's hard to believe the same company that made creatures like Mimikyu, Buzzwole, Sigilyph, or Pumpkaboo churned out Coalossal here.

Here, I'll embarrass myself and share a bit of concept art of a personal project of mine. These designs aren't too terribly spectacular, are they? That's because they're just the rough drafts. The very first instance of me drawing a creature in order to have their design idea on paper, because I can flesh them out later. They’re very wonky looking, weirdly generic at best because later on, “Ash Wolf” there would later become...

“Billowolf”. And heck, it’s plenty possible that it’ll go through one more redesign or so before I’m fully satisfied with it. Coalossal feels like the former. A sketchbook doodle of a “coal dinosaur” base idea that was meant to be more fleshed out later but wasn’t given the opportunity.

And I'm noticing more and more that this is gonna be a repeat complaint going into Gen 8. Lots of ideas with decent or even excellent potential not being lived up to because the designs haven't been through enough revisions. We're well aware of an internal approval process that happens within Gamefreak for these Pokemon to get accepted, and I can only wonder if they just settled with “good enough” designs simply because they were running out of time. Like for PETE'S sake this annual release schedule needs to stop. I hope this new trend of DLC will alleviate the Pokemon Rush. Hell, I'd encourage it so long as they're fairly priced and maybe even bring in a handful of new Pokemon designs each. It's not quite a year off the constant Poketrain but DLC is a lot easier to make than an entirely new game or even a “deluxe edition”. I don't care if we go back to a release schedule of one generation per major Nintendo system. Just let these guys have the time and leeway to do their dang jobs without the stress of ridiculously tight deadlines. There's still so much talent within Gamefreak and it's maybe easy to forget that they're the ones that made the more beloved entries in the series back before they forced a game out almost every year.

And to be clear I DO NOT mean to say all this to shame whoever designed Coalossal, even if they themselves are proud of it. Nor am I shaming anyone that does like Coalossal (just given I’ve gotten comments before acting like I’m being the opinion police with this review series.) Alarmingly enough, my taste isn’t law! And that’s fine. I’m just wondering if the higher-ups on the art team have given Coalossal a pass under less time-constrained circumstances? Or would they have sent it back in to go a few more rounds in a feedback loop? The basic point of this rant is just

Obviously, I'd want this line to follow through on the train motif and have Coalossal actually be a goddang train. And of course keep the single eye.

I do hear one of the defenses of Coalossal being dinosaur-shaped being that “it's a fossil fuel coming back to life.” If that was the intention, that should've been the theme from the very start instead of the rolling wheel idea. (Even under this light, I still wouldn't call Coalossal a very good design. It's far too generic to be doing even that cool idea justice. If that WAS the idea, I’d say it’d be way cooler to do a monster that’s moreso crudely trying to imitate the look of a dinosaur.)

...Awkward thing is, Coalossal wound up sticking in my team for the whole game. Mostly because I wasn't sure if any more new Fire types would be coming afterward (there weren't) so. My Sword team has my least favorite Pokemon on it. I still love ya though, Obsidius. It's not your fault your design wasn't finished. ):

Personal Score: 1/10

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm just dunking on Pokemon after Pokemon here. I PROMISE there's some Pokemon I'm excited to talk about coming up later. In fact, oooh, Applin's next! Applin will be a good palette cleanser, yes.

G-Max Coalossal:

Oh yeah, Coalossal has a G-Max form too. It's better, I'll give it that, and it SORTA brought the wheel thing back but only in having tire-shaped thighs. Pbbbth. The scale is imposing and at least its eyes look a little bit cooler again. I can't bring myself to like it much better just by association with Coalossal. It's fine, I guess. I'm not even gonna rate it. I just don’t like it. It’s fine. Eh.

[Archive]

[flightyrock]

Ectober Day 6: Ghost Hunger

I owe everyone a bit of an explanation before we dive into this fever dream.  Yes, I know exactly what ghost hunger refers to, but it just isn’t my thing.  It’s a neat concept, but I don’t really find it fun to write for, or even read, except in the rarest of cases.  I can stand it if it advances an innovative plotline, but just for its own sake…meh.

So I didn’t have any idea what I was going to do for day 6.  I considered skipping it, but that felt like admitting defeat.  With this in the back of my mind, I was scrolling through tumblr, as one does, and found this lovely piece by @schnivel.

One of my favorite things about schnivel’s style is the dynamic quality all of his characters have. I don’t know how to explain it, but it draws the viewer in, and sells that these characters are real.  Complex emotions are portrayed and conveyed with such ease, I get that creative itch every time.  I love everything in your art tag, it makes me so happy.  Thank you for sharing!

But anyway.  In this particular piece, I love the angle of the external light and the ambient light radiating from the suspiciously viscous fluid clinging to his hands.  I think it was the combination of the fluid consistency, color choice, and blood connection that did it.

So as my mind tends to do when I’m tired and see something emotionally charged, it took a running nosedive off the deep end into absurdist territory.

So here is a fic inspired by color choice, texture, and my traumatic experiences with product promotion as a child of the 90s and early 2000s.  I am so sorry but also kind of not.  Please forgive me, schnivel.  Thank you so much for letting me ruin the mood.  And seriously, check out schnivel’s blog!

 (Sorry for all the notes.  Commentary at the end.)

Summary:  When a popular variety of novelty ketchup is discontinued, the ghost population of Amity Park clashes over who will claim the last box.

Warnings:  Customer service feels, light innuendo

Word Count: ~1700

“You do realize that’s disgusting,” Sam deadpanned, looking on with a mixture of mild horror and disgust as Danny smothered his hotdog in a quantity of green slime that could only be defined as excessive.  Somehow it was impossible to turn away.  Tucker didn’t seem to share the sentiment, busying himself with his PDA.

Spurred on by the attention, Danny looked Sam dead in the eyes, staring unflinchingly into their icy, amethyst depths while cramming as much of the sandwich into his mouth as possible.

Only to aim a tad low, bumping into his lower lip.  Time seemed to slow down as blue eyes widened comically in surprise, hand contracting around the bun reflexively, coaxing gobs of the novelty ketchup to ooze out the back and coat the front of his favorite t-shirt, soaking into white fabric with karmatic vengeance.

Sam and Tucker witnessed the following shift from shock to sudden horror at the state of his shirt became clear.  They glanced at each other, unprompted, then lost it completely, howling with laughter as Danny dropped his ‘dog to scrub frantically at his chest with a wad of the worse-than-useless paper napkins the school provided that screamed government subsidy. His response time was impressive, but the damage was done: a prominent, verdant dribble trail clearly illustrated the tragedy that unfolded at lunch that day.

“Are you kidding me? I still have half the day to go,” Danny moaned, hands running anxiously through already messy hair.

“Just phase it off!” Tucker pointed out helpfully, returning to his PDA as chuckles died down into amused sympathy.

“Tuck, intangibility doesn’t remove stains.  It’s set too far in the fabric.  Otherwise laundry would be so much easier.  Hmm.” Danny took a moment to consider the potential, wondering if that was how Vlad managed to keep his ghostwear so pristine. Maybe if he could concentrate his focus…

“You had it coming.  I don’t understand why you insist on consuming that promotional garbage.” Sam rolled her eyes derisively.

“Because it’s the best!” Danny insisted.  Sam and Tucker shared a look, resigned to their friend’s strange obsession.

Danny didn’t know what it was, but ever since that popular condiment brand out of Pittsburgh developed a line of novelty ketchup, he was hooked.  It came in all sorts of unappetizing colors, like green and purple, and the cringe-worthy ad campaign made Danny wonder if the whole thing was an elaborate prank.  But it eventually showed up at the discount food distributer his family frequented, and he bought it himself, despite Jazz’s teasing.  Funny.  He swears he’s caught her using it more than once when she thought he wasn’t around.

While Jazz was exasperated by the blatant exploitation of the mindset of the lower middle working class, Sam objected to the artificial dyes and preservatives, and Tucker insisted it was nothing less than an insult to the integrity of meat, whatever that was supposed to mean. Maybe the dye makes it taste a bit different.  Maybe he just gets a kick out of eating food in weird colors and watching his friends squirm.  Heck, maybe he’s just been desensitized by enough mutant, home-cooked meals that something so harmless but strange fills him with nostalgia.  Whatever the case, Danny couldn’t seem to get enough of the stuff.  He even started taking it to school with him as a fun way to avoid looking too closely at what was on his tray.  

“Uh oh, dude,” Tucker chuckled, bringing up a specific news article on his PDA.  “Looks like your days of ruining hot dogs are numbered.”

“You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re kidding,” Danny begged.

“Afraid not,” Tucker grinned, sliding his tech across the table to deliver the news firsthand.

Blue eyes widened in horror, before the teenager collapsed onto the table dramatically with a moan. “Why is it that as soon as I discover something awesome, it’s gone?”

“Honestly, that’s probably why it appeared on the shelves at Hubert’s in the first place,” Sam remarked flippantly, preferring to pick at chipping nail polish than acknowledge the lump of pouting teenager currently occupying half the table.

“Yeah, brand names are always too good to be true in places like that,” Tucker nodded sagely, patting Danny on the shoulder in mock sympathy.

Danny hauled himself upright with a sigh.  “Nothing else for it.  I’ll just have to go after school and stockpile all the bottles I can.  They can’t be out yet.”

“How are you out?!  It was just here less than a week ago!”

But the dramatics of a ketchup-crazed teenager were no match for the practiced apathy projected by the young but seasoned customer service guru manning the register, six hours into a ten hour shift.  

“Look, man, I just work here.  There’s plenty of purple,” she sighed, glazed eyes carelessly roaming to glace at the condiments section, poking at her monitor screen.

“It doesn’t taste the same,” Danny moaned, prompting a significant look to pass between the duo accompanying him. They had no idea why they thought it would be a good to tag along on this juvenile side quest.  This was just embarrassing.

“Huh,” the cashier remarked offhandedly.  “Looks like we might have one more box in the back.  I’ll go check, if you want…” she trailed off unenthusiastically, distracted by the hopefully bobbing shock of black hair that wouldn’t leave her alone unless she made a show of effort.  With a long-suffering sigh, the underpaid civil servant shuffled off to the back, teenagers at her heels until she ducked behind a wildly swinging door, a scuffed sheet of plastic shoved haphazardly into the gateway in a pathetic effort to separate customer-friendly space from the chaos of the warehouse.

The friends waited attentively, then with growing annoyance, Sam scuffing the chipping tile with heavy boots as the minutes ticked by.  Around fifteen minutes in, Tucker decided to call it.

“I think she just blew you off, dude.”

“No way,” Danny insisted. “She’s just being thorough.”

At that moment, a familiar figure slouched out from behind the off-white mockery of a barrier. Danny drooped visibly at the lack of bottles in her arms.

“Welp, I found it.”  Danny perked up.  “Where is it?”

“In the back.”  She continued to amble through the aisles, not even bothering to glance at the irritating customer as she returned to the front.  Danny followed her, confused.

“And?” he ventured.

“What?” she asked, uncapping a company pen to doodle on a scrap of receipt paper, pointedly ignoring the nuisance in the vain hope it would leave her in peace.

Danny barely restrained himself in time to prevent throwing his arms up in exasperation.  “Can I have some?” he dared to ask.  The girl acted like she didn’t hear him, outlining a cartoonish face with care, allowing him to stew for a while.

She finally raised hazel orbs full of resignation to meet his.  “You somehow manage to get it down, you can just have it.”  The just leave me alone was implied.  Heavily.

Danny lit up.  “Really?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved him away, returning to her receipt sketch.

“Thanks!” Danny called over his shoulder, already on his way to claim his prize.

“That was kind of weird,” Sam observed.

“Oh, come on Sam, why do you have to be so pessimistic all the time?  She probably couldn’t reach it.  All Danny has to do is float up to the shelf, and we’re out of here,” Tucker said, confidently leading the way into the dark space, the main light coming from a desk equipped with a dated microwave and littered with the remains of hurried lunches.

It was kind of weird being behind the scenes.  The air felt heavy, stale.  It was difficult to shake the uneasy feeling that they dismissed, at first, with being in a restricted area, but that quickly faded into the background.

A puff of cold air suddenly expanded, forcing its way up a certain ghostly throat and expelling in a bluish cloud as it forced vapor in the surrounding air to condense.

“Nice going, Tuck,” Sam punched him lightly in the shoulder.

Danny ignored the exchange, quickly “going ghost” and floating up to investigate.  And was not at all surprised to find the Lunch Lady and the Box Ghost playing a less-than-friendly game of tug-of-war with the box of sauce.  Okay, maybe he was surprised; he didn’t know either of them had a subtle bone in their bodies…if they had bones.  Or bodies. Gah.

He was honestly kind of impressed that they had avoided detection for so long, and wondered if the cashier’s composure spoke to her merit, or to the horrors of customer service. Danny resolved to be nicer to customer service associates.

From there, it was “doom” this and “beware” that.  Danny threw some ectoblasts, repelled some processed meat products, brushed off some boxes.  It was amazing how much more annoying the two of them were working together.  But, still, not even really a challenge, so the half ghost made short work of the duo, while trying not to think too hard about the implications of this team up.  A certain young ghost from an alternate future came to mind…

Danny chased the pair off, trying not to think about the two of them sharing a thermos.  He was all too glad to claim his prize and head home. It had been an interesting afternoon.

Despite the strange start, the pair of friends thought that the day was pretty successful.  As a result, neither Tucker nor Sam were expecting the caricature of despair that greeted them on the front steps of Fenton Works come morning.  

“Dare we ask?” Sam muttered.

Tucker sighed, shaking his head.  “He’ll let us know soon enough.”

Somewhere in Wisconsin, a certain blue-skinned half ghost emerged from his portal, shiftily checking the entrance before ducking through with his prize.

What am I doing?  I live alone.

Still, one could never be too careful.  It wouldn’t do to have Daniel catch wind of this.  He certainly would never admit it, but he couldn’t help the strange nostalgia it inspired; the off-putting color instilled him with a strange longing for cheap meals of questionable quality cooked with a certain pair of paranormal science students.  He still had his dignity after all.

A/N:  Anyone who’s ever worked retail knows the best way to get rid of a persistent customer and score an extra break in the process is to “check” the back.  Seriously, most places know what they have in the back due to the magic of inventory, but for some reason, that middle-aged woman with too much makeup will not leave us alone, insisting we check the back because she thinks we’re idiots (you know the type). And how dare we come back without checking thoroughly.  The cashier probably found the ketchup in less than a minute, determined retrieval was impossible, then spent the rest of the time on her phone.  Of course, like 10% of the time, there really is extra in the back so I can’t exactly fault them, but we could do without the condescension.

So…yeah.  I think my mind kind of mashed together the fact that the show took place in the 2000s with the fact that ketchup looks vaguely like blood, and the drawing used the two major colors of Heinz’s horrendous EZ Squirt line.  As a child who begged for this ketchup, then refused to eat it, I can understand the initial appeal, but it got gross fast, and I didn’t finish the bottle. What can I say, it tasted off to me. I feel like I read about some human instinct regarding food safety contributing to that at some point.  But I still remember this product, especially the commercials, with horror.

Thank you so much to @schnivel for the inspiration!  Hope everyone enjoyed it!

[nomanwalksalone]

TWELVE ANGRY MEN AND ONE DISMISSED JUROR

by Daniel Penny

I was recently called up by the State of New York to serve on a jury. Until then, I’d successfully postponed every previous summons, so I didn’t know what to expect. As a kind of low effort piece of research, I decided to consult a favorite courtroom drama: Twelve Angry Men.

When I’m not serving as a juror or scribbling about clothes, I teach creative writing, and Twelve Angry Men is one of my favorite stories to discuss with students. Set in New York in the 1950s, 12 jurors are sent back to the jury room to decide the fate of an offscreen defendant accused of murdering his father. The judge reminds them that “the penalty is death.” Everybody is convinced of the boy’s guilt except for one man, Juror Number 8, played by Henry Fonda. A battle of wits, persuasion, and bluster ensues, as Fonda chips away at the prosecution’s argument and slowly overturns the jurors’ assumptions about what a “poor kid from a slum background” is capable of. Side note: Amy Schumer has updated this classic film to satirize contemporary beauty standards--twelve male jurors must decide if “potato-face” Schumer is hot enough to be on TV. It’s worth watching just to hear Paul Giamatti use the phrase “reasonable chub.” One of the reasons I teach 12 Angry Men (aside from its critical attitude toward the justice system) is because of how distinct Reginald Rose is able to make his characters--despite the fact that none of them have names and we never get to see them outside the courtroom. On paper, Rose does this with dialogue--jurors each have a very particular way of speaking: cracking jokes, talking in short, clipped sentences, or pausing with uncertainty. But in the film version, costume plays just as big a part in telling the viewer what kind of a man each juror is.

All of these men begin as a type. A wisecracking guy in a rush to get to a ball game wears a sport coat, open polo, and straw hat. An ad-man off Madison Avenue appears in a suit with a trim white shirt, skinny tie, and slicked back hair. He doodles absent-mindedly during deliberation. Another juror wears an expensive looking structured suit and gold-rimmed glasses, and speaks in highly logical paragraphs. We are meant to think of him as a banker, or perhaps an executive. (Styleforum member “upr_crust” bears an uncanny resemblance.) The jurors’ costumes visually reflect their occupations, their personalities, and worldviews. However, by the end of the film, what each man thought he knew about the others has been complicated or overturned, and the audience is left to ponder the ambiguity of appearances.

In real life, I had a much harder time getting a bead on my fellow jurors, perhaps because the year was 2017, and we were all dressed so casually. As in 12 Angry Men, it was a hot day, and most people wore short sleeves--whereas the men in the film had chosen to sweat in dignity. Some of us were nurses, teachers, or retired, but we had each dressed according to our personal tastes rather than attempting to telegraph our station in life. The only people whose jobs I could identify just by looking at them were the police officers and the lawyers; even the judge had chosen to skip her robe for the jury selection process.

At the end of the day, I walked out of the courtroom having been dismissed during the voir dire.  Next to “yoga” and “walking my dog” I had included my support of the Democratic Socialists of America in my list of hobbies--hoping to set off a red flag no sane attorney could overlook. I was happy to know I wouldn’t be stuck on a wooden bench for three weeks deciding a medical malpractice lawsuit, but I was also a little disappointed in my day in court. Where were the sheets of sweat, the smoking, the hats and the funny ties? The day was less suspenseful and more grindingly boring than I’d anticipated--I spent most of my time waiting around, filling out forms, and listening for my name to be called. Still, things in the criminal justice system have improved since the era of 12 Angry Men. At least this court was air-conditioned.

Quality content, like quality clothing, ages well. This article first appeared on the No Man blog in July 2017.