#this is just sitting in my drafts OKAAAY

[digitalworldss]

I wanna talk about Jou’s crest a lil bit…I think his situation is also very interesting due to the fact that the dub changed his crest like Mimi’s. I will be honest, and this is very controversial, I do not think reliability suits him. I’d argue a huge part of his character is that he’s not that reliable, and he dislikes this fact about himself. He FEELS like he should be because he’s the oldest, but he really struggles to be someone the others can count on until the series progresses. I could definitely see an argument for reliability fitting him later in the series, but it’s not his most prominent quality and that’s what the crests are.

A common theme in a lot of Jou’s big moments is that he’s ridiculously reckless, he puts himself in extremely dangerous situations to save others (some examples being ep23 & ep36). Jou goes into these situations without a real plan, and simply acts based on his emotions and his wanting to help his friends. Which makes emotions he feels during these moments are extremely sincere, extremely genuine. That is why I think crest of sincerity fits him so well. I do think reliability and sincerity can go hand in hand, but his sincerity is what stands out more and I think it makes more sense than what the American dub chose.

Jou is a really interesting character, and I think his crest is especially…watching him grow from absolutely horrified of the situation and worrying about the little things, to dropping everything for those he cares about is just so good. Pay attention to Jou a bit more when you find yourself watching adventure…

[hisvaginabones]

Posting this from my drafts, I wrote this over a month ago (19th september) and then just forgot to post it so I might as well do it now lol

Last night of visiting my boyf before I go back home so we got burgers and then drinks at a pub for a date and hes just a liiiittle tipsy but I'm a complete lightweight so I'm already basically gone and ouuhhhg I waunt him 🤤🤤🤤 my big boyyy

He's justa little giggly but I'm swaying and stumbing and slurring and genuinely having kind of a hard time typing this out, relying so hard on the spellcheck its crazy

He makes fun of me for being a lightweight also, he keeps pointing out when I slur or say something stupid and teasing me for how gay I sound and houuugh, <3

It was so affirming to be at the pub also, it was football night I'm p sure and the fact I was watching all these other guys being rowdy was so, woah,

My boyfriend kept leaning over and teasing me with shit like "we're cheering for the guys wearing green and white, okay?" and "they just scored a goal so that means we're happy, okaaay?" and woahhh okayyy man slow downnnn ‼️‼️‼️

He's laying next go me on the bed rn looking at his phone and I'm sitting over here on tumblr posting abt this, its is so dumb, UGH,

This is making me think abt forcemasc with cultural themes, like the difference in cultural views of masculinity, someone out here probably posts abt that but woah man,,

Fucccck I gotta piss,

[ohsweetflips]

i will tolerate any distraction. like i try to do school work sometimes, and i'll put up with anything. i'll be distracted by some garbage thing-- you know, i don't wanna name an actual thing so let's just make one up! let's call it "dragon age.” so i'll be distracted by "dragon age" and i'll get home from class and i'll go, "can i focus on my schoolwork now, please?" and my brain goes, "no! you have to play dragon age for nine hours." and i go, "okaaay!" and then i play dragon age for nine hours. and then i save my game and i go, "any updates on my schoolwork?" and my brain goes, "yeah, we decided that you’re going to forget about the three essays you have to work on this week. because we hate you! now, take this headcanon that would never work in canon! go, fetch!" and i go, "okaaay!" and i log onto ao3 and go, "can i at least write some fanfiction, please?" and they go "NO!" and i go, "okaaay!" and they go, "you should be working on your thesis, shouldn’t you?" and i go, "nooo!” and they go, "SAY IT!" and i go, “i should be working on my thesis!" and then i sit down at my work-desk, which is an oxymoron, and i go, "can i please just focus enough on my school work to write the final page i need for my essay draft due in two hours?" and my brain goes, "no! in fact, you’re gonna wake up and only think about how you have crafted entire backstories for OCs that will literally never be touched upon in canon, and at any point you have to be ready for bioware to throw away your characterization! and you’re not gonna be able to focus on your responsibilities at all and, instead, you’re gonna make a post about it to capitalize on your struggles for a joke!" and i go, "why are you doing this to me?!" and my brain goes, "because you have no regulated attention span, and life is a fucking nightmare!"

[silvysartfulness]

Hi! sorry they're from the bottom up. 55 48 42 38 37 21 17 2

Okaaay, so this has taken me a bit to get around to, sorry!

55 How do you manage your time/make time for writing? (do you set aside time to write every day or do you only write when you have a lot of free time?)

I'm currently on sick leave, so I do have a lot of free time, in the sense that I'm not working. It's more a matter of trying to work up the energy and focus to be able to write. I try to sit down with my story document every day (night, let’s be honest), doing some editing and trying to get into the groove to write more. Some days I manage, some days I don't. Sadly I have very little control over when my brain decides to work, and when it doesn't.

48. Do you prefer to write skimpy drafts and flesh them out later, or write too much and cut it back?

I can't really do drafts – the only drafty thing I do is make a simple keyword outline for what should go in a particular chapter, and then I go straight to writing. I write everything as completely as I'm able, in chronological order, to create something very complete on the first run.

I just can't go back and add/remove/move any big things around later, it completely messes up the rhythm and feel I've crafted! It can even be a problem, sometimes, when I realized I forgot to put something in there - and some 75% of the time I'll opt to leave it out for later rather than trying to shoehorn it into an already completed text. XD

(This is why I do fanfiction, not attempting actual literature. Then people would tell me what to do, and I would get upset and run feral into the woods and never return.)

42. How many drafts do you usually write before you feel satisfied?

Same as above – first ”draft” = completed text, pretty much. I'll edit certain words and move words around a bit, but on the whole, I just sit down and write the text that will be the finished story.

38. How do you nail voice in your books?

Oooh, that's an interesting one! And possibly one with a rather long and complicated answer...

I'm neurodivergent and grew up with one pseudo-abusive aggressive parent, and one reason I've been able to pass as ”normal” so well for my entire life that I was only just diagnosed this year, is that I'm extremely good at studying and analyzing people. Their body language, tone, expressions, word choices etc... I hadn't realized not everyone did this! Most people apparently just spontaneously... do/say things? Without analyzing them beforehand, and consciously shaping the impression they want to make and what reactions to instill? Wild!

Anyway, I take that habit of analysis into my study of fictional characters as well, and when I have a special interest, I get super immersive. I literally go into the character's head, feel their body language settle around me, lean my own conscious self back and hand the reins over to the persona my analysis has constructed to see what they'll do.

It includes things like voice (word choices, tone), body language/expression, way of thinking, way of relating to others, reactions in any given situation...

For my own stories, I often have multiple viewpoint characters to get immersed in. For existing (fandom) characters, it's harder – I really have to vibe with a character on some level to be able to do the full immersion.

So for Roadtrip, I spend about 70% of the time constructing the story from Xue Yang's POV, since he's my main viewpoint character. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan are harder to completely get into; I'm not all the way in their heads and hearts, just... very close? I can still read them, know what would make sense for them to see and say and feel, I just don't feel it quite as strongly. (Xue Yang feels things very strongly. Very strongly. I have cried. Multiple times.)

So yep, uh. Short answer; ”be crazy, vividly pretend you're other people”. Kind of. :D

37. Do you ever write long handed or do you prefer to type everything?

Type! Dear gods, trying to write by hand drives me crazy – I need to be able to polish things as I go along, so writing by hand means tons of tiny notes in margins and lots of frustration. So no. Typing all the way.

21. What aspect of your writing are you most proud of?

That I'm doing it at all.

I think I've mentioned this one before, but it's true! My brain has taken a lot of bad beatings, being pushed far beyond capacity by all those years trying to perform to not only neurotypical but gifted standards, and inevitably failing again, and again, and again... Successive burnouts can lead to permanent brain damage, and these days I struggle a lot with focus and memory issues.

A lot of things I used to take for granted in plotting stories I just can't do anymore, my brain won't let me – if I don't write things down and outline them, I forget. Being able to focus at will – nu-uh. Trying to force it, writing in a non-native language when having a bad brain day? Not happening. It's always a struggle – most days I manage to overcome it, especially if I've been encouraged by comments and questions that get my brain kickstarted! But some days I just can't.

I'm trying to look at what I've achieved so far and feel proud, and try not to think too hard about what I used to be able to do. I'm doing well, all things considered!

And of course I'm also very proud of the impact my writing has on others, especially when people comment and tell me I made them cry, or feel some other strong emotion..! That's amazing, the best feeling in the world. ♥♥♥

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing?

Oh... I think I'm honestly pretty versatile? I don't have a huge preference for what kind of scenes I'm more comfortable with as such, I can do dialogue or action or sex or whatever... It's more about the feel of it? Something with oomph, emotional impact. I do like to write people talking, especially if it's about difficult subjects and lots of emotions involved! Angst, grief, anger, fear... Strong emotions. That's delicious stuff. ♥ (Writing Xue Yang just being a sassy asshole is fun, too, though!)

I prefer writing adult/mature people over teenagers and children (though honestly, with Xue Yang, there's a lot of childishness to him, despite him by now being the technically oldest of the three – when it comes to maturity, he has, uh, range.) I like characters with some emotional insight into others (which Xue Yang has not, Song Lan does have when he tries, and Xiao Xingchen has, except he misses some things these days, not being able to see body language anymore).

And I do like bastards, I really do, villains of various kinds are by far my favourite characters to write - though there has to be a bit of heart to them.

2. Where is your favorite place to write?

I wish I had a cozy little cottage somewhere in the faraway mountains or something, but alas. I do all my writing on my desktop, in my very, very messy studio, very often ”assisted” by at least one cat, often more. (Current helper: Furiel)

Thank you so much for asking, and sorry again for taking so long! I can only point to the bits about bad brain days and shrug a bit helplessly. Sorry! Please know that I’m super-grateful for all questions about this story and the writing of it! Many days finding an Ask in my inbox is literally what gets my brain fired up enough to keep writing! ♥♥♥

[stayfallentasticc]

The Train Ride Home Is Invalid

Pairing:  Dan x MC x Noah  (It Lives In The Woods)

Words: 3,686 words

Summary: Dan and MC have been dating for quite some time. However, after a football game, Noah decides to tell Dan something important (that he has feelings for MC). 

Sneak peek:  “He likes you. Noah likes you.” Dan furrows his eyebrows, he stares into her eyes. He wants to see if her reaction betrays the words that will soon come out of her mouth. He hopes she doesn’t look hopeful. He prays she doesn’t tell him anything he doesn’t want to hear. He prays she stays with him.

Notes: This short story is really long and just so you know Her is MC once again. This short story is basically Dan x MC’s ups and downs in terms of their relationship. The idea of this story was stemmed from my other Noah x Mc x Dan short story titled “Lighthouse”, but it works on its own as well. It was just heavily influenced by the angst. Please do not hate me, this short story is a huge rollercoaster. You can infer what you will. This was in my draft for quite some time and I didn’t know how to approach it. I wasn’t sure if I captivated Dan’s voice right. So please let me know. On a side note, Noah makes a rather small appearance in this short story, but his appearance makes all the difference. I hope ya’ll like it and I hope you can all forgive me. Please forgive me. Read until the end. Enjoy!

Masterlist of all my short stories. 

Dan watches her, intently. He studies her. He soaks her in. She’s sitting on the table across from him. The light casting shadows of her eyelashes onto her cheeks. How her eyes were framed with eyelashes colored an intense black. How her lips were pursed into a pout, thinking, pondering. He takes in her loose brown curls, how they drape over thin shoulders effortlessly. Dan is positive his girlfriend is made of s t a r d u s t, he’s convinced she’s from another dimension, because how could someone be so perfect? 

How could she want him? 

The corners of his lips turns up into a small smile as his eyes drops back down to look at his homework. He knows he’s in all over his head. He know’s it’s about time before she leaves him for someone better. 

Someone who is sane. 

Someone who isn’t pretending he’s okay. 

Someone who can mend her. 

Make her forget: the pain, the memories, the grief. 

She should be elsewhere. Someplace greater than Here. Far away from the trees. But for now, she’s with him. And that’s all Dan can think about these days. As selfish as it sounds, he’s glad she decided to stay. 

“What are you smiling about?” She looks up from her worksheets, eyebrows raised in curiosity. 

He shrugs his shoulders, gestures to his paper. “I’m actually getting this.” He finds himself saying, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. “Can’t I smile for that reason?” He presses on, she snorts at his response, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, she waves her hand in dismissal. 

“Okaaay, whatever you say.” She drags her words on, shaking her head. 

He desperately wants to keep her attention. To hold onto it. He drops his pencil, his lips purses into a frown, and reaches for her hand across from the table. Her fingers are cold to the touch. He sighs. He brings her hands to his mouth, cupping them to warm her hands.

“What are you doing?” She questions, slightly panicked by the sudden touch. He narrows his eyebrows, and fights the urge to roll his eyes at her. It’s typical for her to forget about herself. And he hates that. 

He really hates that.  “You’re cold. Your hands are cold.” He clarifies, he gives her hands one more quick ‘huff’ before he settles for a kiss on the back of her palms. “You should take care of yourself more.” Dan frowns, running his fingers through his hair. 

“Hm,” She hums, but he’s not entirely sure she’s listening to him. He’s positive her thoughts are elsewhere and that she’s only half focused on him. He hopes she feels comfort in his hands. 

Safe. 

It’s their Homecoming today. Dan is practically shaking with adrenaline. He loves the rush, the excitement, the thrill of winning. But today is even more sweet, he sees her in the benches. She’s holding a poster with his name on it and he can’t possibly wipe his grin off now because his girlfriend is just so adorable. 

Dan quickly takes his position in the field, lining up directly behind the offensive line. He waves quickly to Her. She perks up almost instantly and throws him a imaginary kiss, to which, by default, he has to catch it. He presses it to his mouth. She smirks. 

He quickly shouts out the play, the football in his hands. Dan throws it with ease. The game is all a blur after that, all he can really recall is running and her face etched in the back of his mind. Her cheers echoing across the field. 

Touchdown. 

They win and all Dan really wants to do is run up to the bleachers and kiss Her. Forget the trophy all he wants to do is claim his real victory, Her. But he knows his place. He gives everyone in his team a pat in their back, offering them all a smile as he tells them they all did a great job and that he’s so proud. He really is. Football was - is - everything to him. He will always be thankful for the escape it gives him. 

It’s just….he has more to life than just football now.

And she’s standing right in front of him: cheering Him on. 

He looks up and his eyes meets hers. His heart beats a little bit faster. He breaks into a wide grin, but it quickly falters when he sees Noah. 

Noah. 

He furrows his eyebrows slightly, he doesn’t know why he’s a bit flustered. Why he’s a bit jealous. She hasn’t given him a reason to be. She’s here for Him. Not Noah. So why does he feel so sad? Why does he feel like he’s been punched in the gut. 

He curses under his breath, and gulps hard. He excuses himself from his teammates and immediately walks up to the bleachers. She turns her head when she hears the bleacher creak under his weight. Her eyes instantly lights up. And he curses at himself even more. 

God, she’s adorable. 

She runs up to him and Dan sweeps her up. She giggles, and he swears his heart is about to explode. Their bodies are pressed close to one another, her warmth surrounds him. Dan spins her around, before gently putting her down. He cups her face with the palm of his hand, and presses a light kiss on her lips. 

Yeah, she’s the real Victory, alright. 

He gleams down at her, and he’s about to give her a peck on the cheek when he hears Noah cough behind them. Dan licks his lower lip and he sees her in the corner of his peripheral vision frown. 

Noah cheeks are bright red and his hand is curled into a fist, blocking his mouth. Dan gulps hard.

“Sorry.” Dan apologizes quickly, offering Noah a small smile. He gestures for them to sit down on the bleacher, but Noah quickly shakes his head.

“Uh, I’m good, I was going to leave soon.” Noah explains, he rubs the back of his neck. Dan can see how uncomfortable it is for him. He gets it. He feels awkward too. “Good game, Dan.” 

Dan doesn’t really remember when things got awkward between them two - him and Noah. They haven’t exactly been close with one another, but they haven’t been this disconnected either. He figures it’s a normal thing. He would be lying if he didn’t say he was glad that Noah was still an important factor in his girlfriend’s life though. Dan knew how much Noah meant to her. 

“Ha, thanks.” Dan grins widely, peering down at the field. “Couldn’t have done it without my lucky charm.” He drapes his arm loosely around her shoulders, giving her a firm squeeze. She smiles back at him. 

“What brings you here, anyways?” Dan asks, his tone comes off a bit harsher than he expected it to. He knows something’s up. He just can’t pinpoint it. “I mean, uh, I’m glad you’re here for the support but I mean….” Dan trails on, he doesn’t want to come off like he hates the guy. Because he doesn’t. He really doesn’t. 

“We need to talk.” Noah mutters, he looks at Her and bites his lower lip. “Alone.” Noah clarifies, at this point he looks anywhere but at Dan.

“Oh.” She manages to say, blinking rapidly, before she regains her composure and gives Dan a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll go say hi to Stacy then.”

Dan nods, he wants to reach out to her and hold her hand. He resists those temptation though and just watches her longingly instead. 

“What’s up?” Dan turns his attention to Noah as soon as she’s out of sight, he crosses his arm unconsciously. The wind picks up, and he doesn’t really hear much of what Noah says except for the part that Noah tells him he likes her. 

He likes Her.

It doesn’t come much as a surprise to him. 

He just really didn’t want to hear about it. 

Dan heart breaks a bit when he watches her get ready. He contemplates if he should tell her or if he should keep it in. He’s perches himself on the edge of her bed, and fiddles with his fingers. 

He inhales sharply, exhales soon after. He crosses and uncrosses his arm. He really can’t keep still. His mind is running with ‘what ifs’ and frankly he wants to just make it all stop. 

Please make it stop. 

She notices his little tantrum and turns away from the mirror, an earring dangles in between her fingers. She tilts her head. 

“What’s wrong, Dan?” Her voice is soft. She’s concerned and Dan hates when she worries. Hates it even more when it’s because of him. He slams his head against her pillow. He suppresses back a groan. 

He’s not much of a person who talks about his feelings. He figures he can handle it. He figures everything will be okay if he just pretends things are. Because things should be okay. But he know things are different this time around because it has to do with Her. And he really can’t just not say anything. No matter how much he wants to. Not when he knows Noah makes her so happy.

Happy. 

Maybe he’ll make her happier than he ever did.

“You know how Noah wanted to talk alone right?” He finally says, he swallows hard. She looks at him, urging him on. Dan offers her a small smile. “He, uhm, he” Dan stutters, he presses his fingers lightly upon his lips. He wonders why he just doesn’t say it. 

She walks over to him, perches herself right next to Dan. He smells her perfume and instantly feels lightheaded. She looks at him through a rim of black long eyelashes coated with mascara. Her looking like that makes it harder.

So much harder. 

“It’s nothing.” He whispers, she raises an eyebrow. He knows she knows that’s the farthest from the truth. So she clings to his arm, and presses herself closer to him. He gulps. 

Should he say it? 

He hates the feeling of being insecure, because there’s really no reason to be. But he can’t help it. He’s only human. She loves him through his imperfections and maybe that scares him because maybe she could love Noah through his.

He sighs louder, laces his fingers with hers. There’s a moment of silence. He knows she’s just giving him time, but he knows sooner or later, he’s expected to tell her. They don’t keep secrets. So why does he feel like he should keep this one?

“He likes you. Noah likes you.” Dan furrows his eyebrows, he stares into her eyes. He wants to see if her reaction betrays the words that will soon come out of her mouth. He hopes she doesn’t look hopeful. He prays she doesn’t tell him anything he doesn’t want to hear. He prays she stays with him.

She gives him a look that he can’t quite differentiate. She shakes her head at him and leans forward to pinch his cheeks. “Was that what you were making a fuss about?” She whispers, he nods almost instantly. He feels like a child. Hopeless. Needy. Desperate. 

Lost. 

“You know you can tell me anything right?” She asks, she gives him a light kiss on his lips. She pulls away, her eyes staring into his. “You can be vulnerable with me. I’m glad you told me this, you know.” 

“Yeah.” Dan nods his head, a smile tugging on the corners of his lips. “I’m glad too.” 

“Noah is just a friend. You, on the other hand,” She winks and it takes everything in him to not just kiss her right there. He knows he wouldn’t keep his hands off of her. God forbid her parents are just right outside. “is something more.” She finishes her sentence. “I love you”

He pulls her in for a deep kiss. He puts everything that he feels for her in It. A kiss for a dying man. He kisses her as if he was afraid something would take her away from Him. 

Don’t take her away. 

“I love you more.” Dan says, he kisses the top of her head. He feels a million times better, but he can’t help but feel sad for Her. Sad that she will soon have to tell Noah. Confront Him.

He feels sad. 

He just doesn’t know why. 

She breaks down one day, tears streams down her face and he doesn’t know what to do. He stares at her for a good second. Processing, trying to process why she would break down. What would trigger something in her to do so? 

He reaches an arm, and pulls her around in a half embrace. His head is on top of hers, and he finds himself kissing her head. One. Two. He hopes it calms down her nerves. He hopes it helps. 

Her breathing slows down just a bit, and he finds that she pulls him in closer, arms now wrapping themselves around his waist. They stay there, holding each other for what seems like Forever.

He can stay in her arms Forever. 

She finally pulls away, eyelashes damped from her tears, nose red and cheeks flushed. He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. He really doesn’t know what to say. 

Should he even say anything?

“I called Noah.”

Dan opens his mouth to say something and closes it soon after. He feels a bit overwhelmed. A bit conflicted. He wants to ask why she would do that, why she felt the need to, but he knows. He already knows. “Oh.” Is all he manages to say, his hands hover over her head, debating if he should touch her. 

“He-he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.” She explains, tears begin to form and his heart just breaks. It fucking breaks. 

It breaks for her. 

H E R. 

He hasn’t seen her cry, not even when her parents left her alone in her birthday. Not even then. Dan always seen her in the light of someone strong, someone who wasn’t easily broken down, someone who easily didn’t cave in to their emotions. So seeing her like this leaves him torn. He wants to take her pain away, but he doesn’t know how. She takes a deep breath, sniffing. “He can’t bare to see me because it hurts. It hurts too much for him.” 

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers into her ear, pulling her in for another embrace. And he is sorry. “I know how much he meant to you.” 

“I-I didn’t know he would react that way. I-I didn’t know he was hurting.” She says in between sobs, her hands clenches his shirt. He strokes her hair affectionally, swaying her back and forth.

“Take deep breaths. It’s going to be okay.” Dan tries to reassure her, cooing into her ear. She stifles back a cry, listening to his heartbeat. 

It’s going to be okay. 

He decides to stay the night. They’re curled underneath her sheets, watching something on the TV that he doesn’t really care for. Her head is on his shoulder,  and he recalls her laughing at something that the guy says. He chimes along, because as long as she’s happy - he is too. 

He quirks an eyebrow at her, giving her a mischievous smile. She pulls back, eyes narrowed. He holds up his fingers and wiggles them.

“No, Dan. You better not.”

And that’s Dan’s cue to do the opposite. So he does it. He pins her down on the bed, and straddles her between his legs, tickling her on her sides. She laughs beneath him, trying to wiggle herself out of his grasp. 

God, her laugh could do wonders to him. 

“You’re going to regret doing that.” She muffles out loud, she finally manages to push him off of her. He doesn’t know how she ends up on top of him, hair framing her face as she peers down at him, but he does know how he feels at that very moment. 

She tickles him on his neck, and he laughs out loud, his hands finally manage to stop hers after a solid thirty seconds of pure laughter. He’s holding onto her arm, he blushes a deep scarlet red, but he still takes the opportunity to kiss her. 

Being with her is like a dream, Dan doesn’t ever want to wake up from. 

After a series of kisses, she pulls away, and plops herself down beside him. She curls herself against him, eyes a bit heavy. She stifles back a yawn, arms wrap across his chest. “Thank you,” She says softly, he pats her hand. He doesn’t know why she would thank him, he would do anything for her. Anything to make her feel better. As she has done for him, countless times over. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.” She murmurs into the night.

He nods his head, kisses her forehead and really looks at her. “I love you too”.

He wonders if she heard him, because by the time he says those words her eyes are already closed and her breathing has slowed down. 

He shifts his weight a bit, trying his best to place her head against her pillow. It’s far more comfortable than his chest. He doesn’t want to wake her, so he does it carefully. He’s in the middle of turning around, but he stops in his tracks. She stirs in her sleep. Her hair splayed about the pillow her head sunk into. Her full lips slightly parted. He wants to run his fingers through her hair. He wants to curl himself against her, wants to wrap his arms around her. Protect her. But he stops himself. She needs the rest. 

The moonlight creeps through her window, illuminating her figure. He feels the sudden urge to kiss each one of her eyelids. Kiss the pain away. He never wants to see those lashes damp from tears. Not ever again. It hurt him too much to see her like that. 

He knows she’s still in pain.

It hurts her.

It hurts him just as much. 

Dan gets the call in the middle of football practice. His hair is damp from the sweat, his shirt clings to his chest and he so badly wants to reject the call. But something in him pulls him to answer it. 

He presses the green button. 

He wishes he hadn’t. 

He wishes he didn’t. 

Her mother calls from the other line, her voice breaking. He hears his voice break too. 

He wishes it was a lie.

He throws the phone down hard after he hangs up. 

And he crouches down, hands on either side of his head, and screams. 

He wishes it was a lie. 

Dan shifts uncomfortably from one foot to another, he can’t recall the last time he was ever in the hospital. The incident of him being her was thrown in the back of his min: forgotten. But he can’t help but remember the feeling of being here. The feeling of confinement. The last time he was here, she was on the other side of the bed. But now the roles has been reversed. 

He wishes he was in her place instead. 

He’s huddled in the corner of the room, watching the nurse tend to her machine. He holds back the tears. How could anyone do this to Her? He swears when she gets better. And she will get better. She has to. He will make them pay. He clenches his fist tight, his breathing picks up a bit, and he swears he’s shaking. Just a bit. 

The nurse excuses herself and he offers her a weak smile. He doesn’t have the strength to pretend. 

As soon as the nurse closes the door behind her, Dan walks to her bedside. He stares at her unconscious form. He wonders how she could possibly look so peaceful and asleep. Asleep. He knows she isn’t. 

He recalls the last time he saw her like this: in a state of vulnerability. How just a week ago she was wrapped in his arms. Safe. And now….now she’s here. He grabs a hold of her hand. Her chocolate brown eyes that he loved to look at was now imprisoned behind black lashes. 

The comforting voice of her laughter was nowhere to be heard. The only sound in the room were the machines and the pounding of his heart against his chest. 

He feels like he’s going insane. He probably is.

She has to get better. 

He brushes his fingers across her hands. He takes note that her hands are cold again. But this time he really can’t do anything about it. 

He chokes back a cry. 

Is this what dying felt like?

Almost.

He has written her a dozen messages by now. A dozen messages he wants to send her. A hundred more he deletes. He sighs under his breath, binder tucked under his arm, fingers hovering over the screen. He considers sending it - the message. He considers pouring his heart out one more time. 

He stops himself. He looks up, the cold hitting him at face value.  

Dan sees someone wearing a denim jacket in the far distance. He watches how the person just looks at the sky. Face red from crying, hands holding a bouquet of flowers. Dan figures that him and Noah are not different at all. Both are hurting. Both are a little bit dead inside. Both are just barely breathing. 

He looks away, his hands peering down at his phone once more. 

He wants to tell her more than anything how much she meant to him. 

But he doesn’t. 

It won’t matter anyways. 

She’s g o n e. 

Delete. 

He misses the train to go back home today. He figures it doesn’t matter, because Home isn’t the place he sleeps in. Home is Her. 

She’s g o n e.

G o n e. 

He misses the train today. Like how he misses her. 

[fire-emblem-heroes-supports]

Selena/Serra C-S support

Written by  supportive-bird

C SUPPORT

Serra: Mm, la la la…

Serra: Who’s the best? Me! Haha, oh, how I love it when everyone’s eyes are on me.

Serra: Yeesh…truly, everyone’s eyes are on me. I can’t help but feel a sudden… draft in the room.

Serra: And my hair is standing on end… what could it– AHH!

[Selena appears.]

Selena: …

Serra: GET AWAY FROM ME, FOUL BEAST! WHAT MANNER OF–

Selena: Would you shut your trap for one second?!

Serra: Excuse me?!

Serra: Oh, it’s just you. No wonder there was such a disturbance in the air, you were glaring daggers into my perfect back!

Selena: Gods, how self-important can you–?!

Selena: Ugh, nevermind. Would you just stop “singing”? Your voice is grating.

Serra: Grating…? I-I mean, you’re one to talk! At least when I sing, it’s melodious and positive!

Serra: You just yell at people. My voice is a blessing, Ask anyone!

Selena: Fine. HEY, EVERYONE! raise your hand if you want Miss Princess’s racket to end!

Serra: Hey! S-stop it! Put those hands back down!

Selena: Looks like everyone agrees that you should shut up for once. That, or continue your reign of terror alone.

[Selena leaves.]

Serra: Alone?! With no one watching me?! Gah. You may have won this round, Beast, but this isn’t over!

[Selena and Serra have reached support rank C.]

B SUPPORT

Selena: …

Selena: OW!

Selena: Ow, ow, ow, you stupid rock! What do you think you’re doing, sitting in the middle of the road for people to stub their toes on?!

Selena: HYAAH!

[Cut to Serra, alone.]

Serra: And that’s all the reasons why you should treat me with the utmost respect! Now, we can go over them again, but– OW!

[Selena appears.]

Selena: Ahh, Serra! Gods, are you okay? Let me, uh, help you up…

Serra: Ouch…what…what were you… THINKING?! Why would you hit me with a ROCK?! The back of my precious, noble head is bruised!

Selena: Okay, first of all, I didn’t mean to hit you in the head when I kicked the pebble!

Selena: Second of all… don’t worse injuries happen to us all in battle? And… aren’t you a Cleric?

Serra: Pfft! Clerics can’t heal themselves, silly girl.

Serra: And believe me, if I could get the Summoner to stop putting me in harms way, I would.

Selena: Gods, if you’re going to keep being rude, I’ll just forget about helping you and leave.

Serra: W-wait, no! You have to make it up to me!

Selena: Let go of my arm!

Serra: You can’t leave meee!

Selena: You’re making a scene! F-fine, just tell me what you want from me!

Serra: Yes, victory! Hmm… normally, I’d demand she follow me around all day, protecting me and waiting on me, hand and foot…

Serra: But then again… Selena’s so infuriating to be around.

Selena: I’m standing right here, you know!

Serra: Okay, just come with me and I’ll think of something!

Selena: This is gonna be a long day…

[Selena and Serra have reached support rank B.]

A SUPPORT

Selena: Hah! Okay, Miss Princess, If you really want my honest opinion.

Selena: The color is all wrong, and I don’t get the fit of your dress… but the scarf? Adorable.

Serra: Hehe, even if you know nothing about stylish colors, there is always one universal trend that we can both agree on…

Selena: Pigtails!

Serra: Yes! They will never go out of style!

Selena: Heh, I never would’ve thought we could get along… but spending the day with you, I’ve realized that we’re a lot alike.

Selena: I mean, who would have expected it, when you’re so frilly and vain, and I’m so not!

Serra: The fact that you think of that as a compliment is abhorrent!

Selena: Pfft.

Selena: …Hey, Serra? I’m sorry about how rude I was to you when we met. it was just that I… really hate people who act like they’re better than everyone.

Serra: don’t you act the same?!

Selena: Wha– no! I mean…okay, that’s not the point. I sorta grew up in the shadow of someone really… perfect. So, I always try to knock people off their high-horses, y’know? …Level the playing field.

Serra: Oh…I can, um, relate to that. I didn’t exactly get… attention or care, as a child. But I deserve it, I know I do!

Serra: And, I know you do too! Just to a lesser extent.  

Selena: Ugh, neither of us got what we deserved, and that messed us up, but… we got to meet each other in this world, so even if you’re super terrible and annoying, I’ll be your friend, and I’ll be annoying with you.

Serra: Oh… me too, Selena, my atrocious comrade! And, I don’t say this to most people, but… thank you, friend.

Selena: Are you crying?!

Serra: *Sniff* N-NO!

[Selena and Serra have reached support rank A.]

S SUPPORT

Serra: Oh, and did you see what Virion was wearing? Hah, I’d expect better than a bib from nobility such as us!

Serra: … Selena?

Serra: SELENA!

Selena: What?

Serra: You’ve been getting distracted like this all day! Even I’M starting to get worried…

Selena: Heh, sorry, it’s nothing.

Serra: Liar!

Selena: Okaaay, fine. I’m just distracted by your voice.

Serra: Oh… I-I’ll stop talking so much.

Selena *blushing*: Wait, no! That’s not what I meant! And I’m…I’m sorry for saying that when we met. I really love your voice, I think it’s adorable!

Serra *blushing*: Oh! Ah, erm, well, naturally.

Selena: And I love hearing you laugh about stuff, and the way you flourish everything, and how you’re always nice to me in your own ways… your own infuriating ways.

Serra: Hehe….

Serra: You know, Selena, you’re very important to me, too. You accept me, so completely, it’s…!

It’s really nice. I love the fire you have in battle, and somehow, I don’t mind all the trouble and walking it takes to heal you… I’d always heal /you/. I’m really glad we get to talk.

Selena *smiling*: …

Serra *smiling*: …

Selena: Sooo… we can, like, go out now, right?

Serra: Right! I love you, my atrocious and brilliant girlfriend!

Selena: Mm, it’s kinda funny… out of all the worlds I’ve been through, all the people I’ve met… I think you’re the one I adore the most.

Serra: What was that?

Selena: Oh, it’s nothing– I just love you, too.

[Selena and Serra have reached support rank S.]