#this is just an excuse to draw thorin with pretty hair

[nastiiuu]

Hair and braids and style

[moony-artnstuff]

Commission @rowandor

Note: @rowandor​ here it is, love! I hope you like it ❤

Thorin:

It took a little while for Thorin to get to know you, as he wasn’t really focused on forming friendships but rather on the quest ahead of him. And with yourself being rather shy and introverted the two of you didn’t really talk, at first.

However during the quest he started to notice more and more things about you, like the fact you carried a lot of different notebooks with you. He became intrigued and when he stole a glance he saw you sketching the most beautiful drawings, and before he knew it he had asked you about them and the two of you started a conversation.

When Thorin and you were on night watch he would often ask you about your many talents and interests, thinking it was amazing that you could do so many things (not that he’d tell you that, of course). He found your shy demeanour endearing, and he felt a small sense of pride when he noticed your growing more and more comfortable with him, eager to hear more interesting facts from you

When in a relationship with you, Thorin would get you all kinds of (courting)gifts having your talents in mind; expensive paints and brushes, beautiful handbound sketchbooks, gorgeous writing supplies for you to write your stories with (please read them to him, he loves to hear about your stories).

He would also take you to all kinds of theatre shows, and encourage you to participate in them. And you can bet he will always be there to see you perform.

Thorin knows he’s hit the jackpot when in a council meeting, you come up with the most creative ideas and solutions for rebuilding Erebor, and they work. He’s grinning to himself like heck yeah, look how smart and creative my wife is.

Thorin is pretty introverted as well. Like yeah, he arranges council meetings and attends feasts, but often only because he has to as the king of Erebor. He’d much rather spend his time with you cuddled up in your shared chambers, just talking and enjoying each other's company while you do your own things.

Thorin would never get mad at you if your depression made you incapable of doing your daily duties. He’d tell you to take you a few days off to just relax and take your mind off things. When your anxiety acts up during a council meeting, you’d just have to give Thorin a sign and he’d come up with an excuse for you on why you have to leave.

Fili:

Fili quickly became intrigued by you when he noticed that, although you were always polite and nice when talking with the others, you would often sit by yourself and do something for yourself. Every now and then he would sit with you, and ask you about what you were doing. He knew you were a bit shy, so he tried to take it slow, but he really wanted to know more about you, and when you finally let him in he was so happy.

He thinks it’s so amazing you can do so many wonderful things, and he’s not afraid to ask you to teach him some things, and he’s more than happy to teach you some cool tricks with his blades, if you are interested, that is.

One time he jokingly asked you to make a painting of him, and when you actually did it he fell in love. He shows it off to everyone, saying “look what she made! It’s beautiful!!”

Fili respects that, because you’re introverted, you don’t like to attend big gatherings and such, and he often helps you out avoiding such events, making up excuses for you. The fact that you are an introvert who prefers to spend most of her time in her room is a bonus for him too, because that means he gets to have you all to himself.

He think you’re so amazing, with your strange and mysterious aura, and he thinks it’s so cute when you ramble on about something you’re passionate about, and he will ask you a million questions about it, both because he’s genuinely interested but also because he loves seeing that excited spark in your eyes.

Please tell him everything about what’s going on in your imagination. Fili is so fascinated by what’s going on in your head and he wants to know everything.

He would be so honored if you let him proof-read your stories.

Fili knows when you start feeling really anxious. He will take your hand in his and try to direct as much attention as possible away from you to him. If you need to leave the room he would simply kiss your forehead and lead you outside, helping you calm down and telling you it’ll be alright. 

When your depression gets too much, Fili would hold you tight, softly swaying you and letting you pour your heart out to him. He would dry your tears, kiss you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, reminding you that you’re not a bad person for being mentally ill, that things will get better and that he will stay with you until they do. 

Kili:

Oh he was infatuated with you since the moment you two met.

You were just so mysterious and interesting! How could he not want to know everything about you?

He thought your shy demeanour was adorable! And it only made him want to get to know you more.

He’d try to find out as much as possible about your interests and talents so he could talk about them with you, and he loves it when you tell him all kinds of different facts.

Kili would want to spend as much time with you as possible, but when you tell him you’re an introvert and need time alone he respects that, and gives you space when you need it.

Kili is your number one supporter in everything you do; you’re performing in a show? He’s gonna be on the front row cheering you on and being mesmerized by you. You’ve written a new story and need someone to proofread? He’s right there! You made a new painting or drawing? Kili’s gonna show it to the whole of Erebor and then hang it somewhere in your room where you can always see it.

I can totally imagine Kili asking you if he can draw with you, and then when you show each other your drawings you made a beautiful portrait of you and Kili made something that looks more like a stick figure with hair but he tried very hard and you love it.

Kili loves your hyperactive imagination, and if you were to help him come up with fun and creative ways to prank someone he would be the happiest dwarf alive.

Kili is an extravert, but he understands that you, because you’re an introvert, need some time alone to recharge. He loves to cuddle with you in those moments (actually kili always loves to cuddle you, he thinks you’re so amazing and he wants to hold you because of it).

When you feel particularly anxious and need to leave a crowded place, Kili is more than ready to act silly and attract all the attention to him, so you have a chance to slip away unseen. After that he will check up on you with something to drink and your favorite snacks.

He hates to see you sad, and always tries his best to cheer you up, but he understands that when you feel really depressed sometimes all he can do is hold you and be there for you, and he does exactly that. He hugs you, kisses you, tells you all the reasons he loves you and promises that you’ll be happy again.

He understands that life isn’t always great, and sometimes it can be really hard to reach out to the good things, so he brings the good things to you. He sneaks all kinds of good food from the kitchen, so everyday he can surprise you with a different meal. He picks colorful flowers so you have something pretty to look at when you don’t feel like going outside, and he reminds you everyday how beautiful you are and that you are enough the way you are.

Dwalin:

What can I say? Opposites attract.

Dwalin really doesn’t know what it was that pulled him toward you, but something did

He wouldn’t admit it, but he thought your shyness was cute, and though he wasn’t really a creative person himself, he wanted to know all about your talents and interests.

He isn’t very good with words, but he tries to compliment your work as much as possible, and ask questions when you tell him about one of your hobbies.

Dwalin is a dwarf of action, so to show you he loves you he takes you out on dates to the theaters, and buys you new paint when you mentioned you were running out of it.

Dwalin loves your paintings. He hangs them all around the house, and they remind him of you when you’re not home.

It’s very good you’re emotionally intelligent, because Dwalin tends to bottle things up. You help him be more open and express his emotions in other ways then anger and food.

Like I said before, Dwalin isn’t the best with words, but he does his best when trying to comfort you, and you can bet there’s no way he’s gonna let anyone treat you like shit for having mental illnesses! If someone even thinks about making you feel bad for not being able to do daily tasks he will not hesitate to punch them in the face and give them a piece of his mind.

Dwalin loves you, and your happiness is his number one priority.

Bofur:

Ohohoho this dwarf adores you!

Bofur is a joyful dwarf who finds joy in many things, most of all creative things. And you can do so many things! How amazing is that? Bofur wants to know everything about you, your mysterious aura only adding onto how much he wants to show you he likes you.

I headcanon Bofur as someone who’s good at carving things from wood (because his cousin is a toy maker, I’m sure he must have picked some things up from that) and he likes to make you little wooden figures.

When you tell him you do theatre he’s over the moon. Bofur loves to entertain others (I mean, just look at that one scene with the dwarves in Rivendell, where Bofur gets on the table and starts singing). He’ll definitely drag you up at least twice to do some kind of show for the company during the quest.

Bofur enjoys hearing you talk about your many talents, and he likes it even more when you infodump him about something! He thinks it’s so cute to see you rambling, looking all excited. But what he loves most of all is to just watch you do your thing. You could simply be sitting by the windowsill, writing away in your notebook as the sunlight falling through the window makes it seem like you have a halo around you, and Bofur would have the most lovesick look on his face.

It’s easy for Bofur to lift your spirits, even when he’s not trying. He’s always smiling, because most of the time he feels genuinely happy. He’s always cracking jokes and his laid back nature creates a calming atmosphere. When you need him to be there for you, he will be there. He’ll caress your cheeks, call you sweet nicknames and remind you of all the beautiful things in life.

Something Bofur likes to do when you’re feeling particularly down is to take your hand, hum a sweet song and just sway around the room with you. He’ll shower you in compliments and cheesy pick-up lines and won’t stop until you’re laughing again.

Bilbo:

You’re an introvert? Bilbo couldn’t be happier. We all know this hobbit is a gigantic introvert himself, and he’s more than happy to just spend all day with you inside or in the garden, enjoying each other’s company and a good meal.

You both share a love for writing, proofreading each other’s work and supporting each other when writing stories.

Bilbo is fascinated by your drawings and paintings. He himself tends to draw some sketches every now and then, but it’s nothing like the things you create. He’s always in awe when you show him your work, and he covers every wall in his hobbit-hole with your paintings and drawings.

You’re the one that got him to love theatre. He would always come and watch when you performed, bringing you a bouquet of flowers from his gardens to give you after your show, and after watching some of them he realized he actually really liked theater shows.

His favorite pastime is to sit in the garden with you watching the sunset, as he smokes his pipe and works on his book, and you sitting next to him drawing the many flowers surrounding you.

When your depression gets extra hard to deal with Bilbo will spoil you as much as possible. He’ll bring you breakfast on bed, fill the room with flowers, take over your chores and just lets you rest until you feel like you can face the day again, and he will never make you feel bad for sometimes not being able to. Bilbo loves you, all of you, and he wants you to be as comfortable and happy as possible.

[xxbyimm]

A king��s crown - Thorin x reader

Link to my Masterlist.

THIS AWESOME PICTURE IS BY @nerdeeart​! I PASTED IT BECAUSE IT’S PERFECT FOR THIS FIC BUT HERE’S THE LINK. BE SURE TO CHECK THIS GREAT ARTIST OUT!  

A lovely anon requested this fic ages ago, and I feel ashamed for only doing this now, so forgive me sweetheart! <3 I hope you’re still around to enjoy this fic. I did not edit it endlessly like I use to, so please bear with me. xoxo!

A king’s crown – Thorin x reader

Summary:  The reader is just fucking adorable and makes Thorin a flowercrown every night, but our oaf doesn’t… get it.

Warnings: Fluff. Fluff. Fluff.

Taglist: @jeemalou​ @dabisburntnut​  @soradragon​ @pistachiozombie​ @legolaslovely​ @tomisbaeholland​ @swoopswishsward​ @fizzyxcustard​ @deepestfirefun​ @ruthoakenshield​ @mariannetora​ @thequeenoferebor​  If you don’t wish to be tagged anymore, please let me know! Or if you’re not on the list and want to be tagged: check out my lists and I’d like to hear which list you want in on!

Now this happened. Again!

Thorin had just opened his eyes after a long needed sleep, only to be greeted by a bright bunch of colors appearing right in front of him. He wouldn’t say that he knew everything there was to know about life, but he was sure that this object hadn’t been there when he finally had closed his eyes to rest. This was the third time in a row and he was starting to feel ridiculous.

Thorin sat upright and carefully held the flower crown that had been placed on his bedroll. He had to admit that the blossoms did smell nice and it was a pretty thing, but somehow he couldn’t shake off this feeling that someone was mocking him. And the only sensible conclusion in the valley of the Imladris, was that the pointy ears were behind it.

The king in exile huffed. If they thought that Thorin, son of Thraín, son of Thrór would play their games, they were mistaking! He’d never wear something they regarded as pretty. If one wasn’t careful enough, one might end up looking exactly like those self-righteous immortal bastards.

He quickly glanced around (no one seemed to be there, excellent!) and cast the crown into the thick bushes a few meters away from his bedroll, a place where hopefully their hosts didn’t even care to look. Then he got up and strolled in the direction of the group (or that is, the direction he guessed he had to go). Luckily Bofur’s laughter and Kíli’s excited chatters were quite distinctive, so it proved to be not a task too difficult this time.

Thorin rubbed his hands together. He really hoped that Bombur would offer something else for breakfast than the green food he had to endure yesterday during dinner, and the night before that. He wasn’t sure he could stomach more leaves.

The cooking smells were surely promising. The king followed his nose and it led him to a small clearing, where the others were enjoying a splendid breakfast. Thorin smiled faintly as his comrades greeted their leader with joyful cheers and friendly banter. Bombur grinned while handing his king a bowl filled with a variety of delicious meats.

‘Here you go, my king. I’d say this meal is a lot tastier than the elves have arranged us in days!’

‘I know it will be.’ Thorin agreed. ‘Thank you, Bombur.’

He moved throughout the group, holding his bowl carefully against him like it was some precious gem. Fíli saw him coming and shoved his brother aside to clear a spot on the bench for their favorite uncle. Kíli, who was just about to reveal the punch line of some grand joke, did not expect his brother’s move and it caused the youngest brother to fall flat on his face. The comical effect was huge and everyone was roaring with laughter, though this was hardly what the youngest Durin had aimed for in the first place.

‘Oi!’ Kíli snapped, while scrambling himself together. ‘Did you have to do that?!’

Fíli chuckled. ‘You had to make room for uncle, brother.’

The youngest Durin muttered something under his breath and disappeared in the forest.

‘Don’t be so hard on him.’ Thorin told his eldest nephew, though with a grin. ‘He still hasn’t recovered from the fact he did fancy an elven lad.’

Fíli smirked. ‘Nor have we.’

The king shook his head and turned his attention towards his meal again. His stomach churned and the smell of meat was mouthwatering. Before anyone could disturb him, Thorin quickly took a bite.

 ‘Good morning to you all!’ You announced yourself to the group with your usual excited chirp.

If Thorin had been paying attention, he would have noticed that your bright smile was especially directed to him, but as the king was too engrossed in his breakfast he didn’t even notice you were there anyway. He did nod vaguely in your direction, indicating that he didn’t give a rats’ arse who was there, not even if lord Elrond himself was standing before him.

Others did see your smile though- first beaming, then slowly dying away as the dwarf you cared for ignored your presence. A few in the group exchanged looks and wondered in silence how long this could go on. Thorin usually was quite perceptive, but figuring out that a lady was madly in love with him proved to be a challenge. They glanced over at their leader who was enjoying his mealtime, blissfully unaware of the things around him.

He would figure it out some day, wouldn’t he?

After breakfast, members of the company disappeared slowly, going about their business in the valley and enjoying the last of their spare time before they would leave for the road tomorrow. Before the king knew it, it was just you and him who were left.

Thorin suppressed a sigh as he watched you rummage through your bag. You, the latest addition to his company, were the cutest thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. You had all the curves in the right places, knew your way around swords and your sweet, though sassy temperament made everyone smile. Even Dwalin was delighted to have you as part of the group, and that said something.  

It had begun so slowly that Thorin didn’t even notice it was there. With every day that passed, he admired you more, to the point where he had become quite attached to you as well. Though your lovely smile and your distracting backside should get some credit, it was all of you that melted his bones. You were simply the whole package, the partner he had longed for most of his life. Sometimes he even wondered what would happen if he’d ask you to be his.

But for now, you were unaware of his affections and thus the king watched you curiously as you opened your sketch book and started to work. Thorin got out his pipe and searched for tobacco in his pocket.

‘It’s in your left pocket.’ You said quietly without looking up and Thorin reached his hand in there. Huh. He furrowed his brows together when you proved to be right. How did you know that?

‘Thank you.’ He replied. ‘How did you-’

‘It’s where you last left it.’

‘You have an excellent memory.’ The king said. ‘I don’t remember putting it there.’

You merely shrugged.

‘How did you know?’ he pressed, but he was met with silence. You were hunched over your work as if you were trying to shut him out. Thorin busied himself with cleaning and filling his pipe, all while keeping an eye on you. You on the other hand made no inclination that you were aware of presence.

The king cleared his throat. This was nothing compared to the usual, joyous interactions the two of you shared and this silence didn’t sit well with him. Had he done something wrong?

‘Is something bothering you?’ he inquired while he lit his pipe.

‘Nothing special.’ Your reply was soft, but he heard you. ‘Can’t wait to be on the road again.’

‘Me too.’ He agreed. ‘I’ve had enough of elves for a few years.’

You shrugged again and continued working on your sketch. Your hands were smudged from the charcoal you liked to use. Absentmindedly, you brushed a lock of hair from your face. It left a black smear on your forehead.

 Thorin stood up and with his pipe in one hand, he reached the other forward to gently brush the stain away. You did look up this time and your E/C locked with his sapphire ones. He always had known that you possessed the most beautiful eyes in the entire universe and it was easy to get lost in them, but nothing could have prepared him for the pain displayed in there. It shot straight to his heart, leaving a dull ache which surely was nothing compared to your agony. He could see you were holding back tears as best as you could.

It was not enough, but all too much. Thorin couldn’t bear to lose his composure in front of you, nor did he want to embarrass you. He broke away and shifted his attention on your sketch book instead. You were drawing flowers that were almost as breathtaking as you.

‘Love.’

The phrase gushed from his mouth before he could control himself and he clenched his hands into fists. The last thing you needed was a love confession right now. ‘I mean- Would you mind telling me what’s going on?’

You shook your head.

‘You don’t have to.’ He carefully took a seat next to you and gestured at your drawing. ‘This looks amazing.’ He breathed slowly, but his voice was still too shook for his liking. ‘It looks like a real bouquet.’

‘Thank you.’ You murmured. ‘But it’s more a-’ You hesitated and stared at your sketch instead.

‘More like a what?’ The king encouraged.

‘A crown.’ You whispered.

 Silence.

 ‘Will you excuse me, my king?’ you said abruptly, jumping from your seat and causing the book to fall from your lap. Before Thorin could stop you, you had disappeared in the forest. The king blinked a few times before picking up the book. When he eyed the drawing a second time, it daunted on him.

Oh mahal.

He had been an idiot. A total idiot. How could he be so stupid, so oblivious to the fact that you were the one who had left him these flower crowns each morning? If he hadn’t been so obsessed with the elves’ presence, he could have seen that- Thorin groaned. No matter now. The damage had been done and there was no taking it back. A better question was: how was he going to make this up to you?

‘Good morning.’ He grunted and glanced around the group. He saved his special glare for his nephews, to warn them for the hell they would have to pay if they dared to make fun of their uncle. So far, it worked. Fíli shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked away. Though Kíli’s face was distorted in an awful grin, the lad was smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

‘New attire?’ Dwalin smirked and Thorin roughly pushed him aside so he could be seated.

‘Make way for your king.’ He rebuked.

His eldest friend laughed. ‘Ye’re suddenly the king of foliage now, huh?’

‘What can I say…’ Thorin grinned. ‘A mountain isn’t enough.’

Dwalin shook his head. ‘Those pointy idiots are rubbing off on ye,  I tell ye.’

 ‘Hello everyone!’

They both looked up and Thorin’s heart missed a beat. You were standing before the group. Your hair was still a bit frizzy from bathing, the untamed locks roaming freely over your shoulders. You were wearing his favorite breeches, the ones that supported your excellent ass. You clasped your hand over your mouth when you noticed the king’s new crown.

‘You made this?’ you said breathlessly as you made your way towards him.

‘I did my best.’ Thorin acknowledged ruefully. ‘But I can’t get it quite right like you do.’

A giggle escaped you and you reached out to inspect his work. ‘There’s leaves in it, Thorin. And… branches.’

The king heaved a sigh. ‘Guess I need your help, my lady.’

You bit your lip and held out your hand. ‘Fine, let me help you fix this mess…’

The cheers of the company followed you and the king into the forest. There, you showed him how a proper flower crown is made. Amongst other things…

Thank you so much for reading my humble story. Feedback is always welcome.  Did you like my work? Spread the love and reblog! :) And here’s my Masterlist.

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Return Her pt. 1

The Company (and friends) x Reader

Not being from Middle Earth has brought you some amazing moments, but this should’ve been expected.

You knew going into Mirkwood after Gandalf’s warnings was a horrible idea, but for some reason you didn’t think to stay behind. 

First everyone went nuts, yourself included (you could barely remember your own name at some points, it was ridiculous). Then there were the spiders, thankfully you got to avoid being webbed up by those disgusting arachnids but you got lost on your way to help.

By some luck you found everyone while they were attempting to leave their confines of the webbing, but then the spiders came back so your luck didn’t feel so good anymore. 

You guys kill a bunch, Kili gets separated… oh, and there is also the elves who are speaking in their own tongue.

The blond elf who appeared to be the leader of this merry group of losers was talking about one of the swords you all acquired after everyone was searched (the only thing they found on you was a small weapon and your backpack from home, also a smack to the hand that was frisking you) when he noticed you. 

The male elf mouthing off to Thorin stops his little liar thief speech abruptly though when his eyes fall on you and your strange clothes and weird colorful backpack held by the elf who searched you.

“You. Come here.“ 

Uh oh.

Simply staring at him dumbly for a few moments, you turn your head from side to side and then point at yourself. “M-Me?”

He nods his head once, annoyance and a trace of amusement showing on his face. You twiddle your thumbs together and shrug your shoulders, taking a step forward only for a large hand to pull you back, “What do you want with her, pointy eared freak!” Hisses Dwalin next to you

The elf says nothing and continues to stare you down. 

Everyone is looking between the two of you at this point, and you begin to feel that all to familiar mixture of anxiousness and awkwardness creeping up on you. “Um… I’d rather not…”

He still stares, as if he’s looking into your very soul. “I will not repeat myself.” Now he just looks annoyed. 

You huff indignantly and shake Dwalin’s hand off your shoulder, “Fine! Whatever.”

You shuffle over awkwardly, ignoring the protesting of some of the others as you go to stand next to Thorin and in front of him.

His intense blue eyes drill holes into you as he sizes you up, “An odd human girl with 13 dwarves. Clothes I’ve never seen before and a bag that is otherworldly. Interesting.” You do your best to hold his gaze, keeping your face as blank as possible.

“That isn’t any of your concern.” Thorin states next to you, but the elf still doesn’t turn his leer from you.

So what do you do?

What you do best. 

“Is that a dagger in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Your expression doesn’t change as you say this, face remaining neutral as he falters.

Ding ding, Y/N 1, this guy 0.

“Excuse me?” He looks to be shocked by what you say, but you only shrug your shoulders as some of the others behind you laugh. 

But your witty victory is short lived because now everyone is being hauled off to some elf kingdom where you’re sure Santa must live.

When you go to rejoin the others though, the blond elf puts a hand on your shoulder and states in a demanding tone, “You stay with me.”

Thorin turns quickly upon hearing that, “Leave her be, elf! She is one of us, and she will remain by our sides.” Some of the others shout their agreement. 

The elf doesn’t listen. 

And thats how you end up trailing behind the tall elf right in front of you while some of the others (Thorin, Fili, Dwalin, some others) look back to make sure you’re still there from time to time.

It warms your little ole heart! If only you weren’t all being led to imprisonment that is.

When the elf palace (you aren’t quite sure what else to call it) comes into view, it takes your breath away. Yeah, these guys are kinda assholes, but the architecture is astounding! 

You couldn’t keep the awe from showing on your face, and when the elf glances back at you he chuckles. “Never seen an elvish structure before?”

You saw Rivendell which was also lovely, but they’re both beautiful in their own ways you suppose.

Yeah this guy is the enemy, but you just can’t keep yourself from mumbling how stunning it all is. He laughs again, seemingly a bit more friendly towards you than your dwarven companions, and continued on his way. 

Upon entering the structure, you find that the outside is not nearly as awe-inspiring as the inside though.

The twisting trees and twinkling lights inside mesmerize you. It’s so grand, you almost forget that these elves are basically abducting you from your company by keeping you separated so far from them.

Your eyes fall upon the red-headed elf who helped out Kili, and your mouth runs before you can stop it. “Woah, shes freaking gorgeous." 

At your sudden speech the blond male elf guy looks down at you with confusion, his eyebrows knitted together. "What?" 

"Er, your friend over there is really pretty.” You restate, looking away as a flush darkens your face. 

He doesn’t get a chance to say anything else before said she-eld falls into step with you and the blond.

She says something in that Elvish language of theirs and looks down at you, and once again you speak before thinking. 

“Excuse me, do you have a map? Because I’m afraid I’ve gotten lost in your eyes.” It’s cheesy where you’re from, but here you’re a damn poetic genius. 

Her face tints red at your words and she looks up at the blond guy briefly before looking at you again, “I-I’m sorry?" 

"Oh, forgive me that was so forward. I just can’t help myself around someone so lovely.” Yeah, you’re laying it on thick, and it seems to be working in your favor pretty well cause she’s blushing and- oh, is that flattery you see?

“I don’t think I’ve ever been addressed in such a way…” She states breathlessly, looking at Mr. Blond again. 

“How is that possible? My dear you have got to be the most beautiful-" 

"Y/N!” Thorin states sharply, looking at you completely baffled (and he’s not the only one).

A pout comes to your face at the one word scolding, but you get the hint. “Man… Freaking Thorin…" 

You look straight ahead and ignore the glares and confusion from your friends, crossing your arms over your chest as you continue to walk along silently. 

"What a cute little thing.” She comments after a moment of observing your sulky form, reaching down to ruffle your hair. And, embarrassingly enough, you find yourself leaning into her touch slightly.

Hell yeah, this bitch is in. Maybe too much…

Yeah she actually is drop dead gorgeous, but you’ve gotta get these fools trust so you can crush them later. It’s essential to your 45 step escape plan. 

“Me?” You ask, actually feeling a bit nervous to be getting as good as you gave. “C-Cute?" 

There’s no time to answer verbally, because suddenly they split the group into Thorin, and everyone else, but you can see from their faces that it was meant to be taken seriously. You remain standing with the elves, a bit shy and confused as to why you haven’t been led to the others yet. 

Some of them give you looks of concern, but you only flash bright smiles each time you make eye contact with someone. You can tell a few of them are annoyed with your lack of fear for the situation, but you hold onto the hope that Thorin will use his brain.

You break away from the elves and begin to follow after where the majority of the group is headed, but a firm hand landing on your shoulder stops you in place.

Glancing up at the blond elf, he only shakes his head, "You will go with him”, he nods his head over to Thorin.

The confusion shows clearly on your face, but you listen regardless and change your course as you join the leader of the group. 

When you step up beside him, he looks at you with deep set confusion, “Why are you not with the others?" 

All you do is shrug in response. 

And then the two of you are being brought before the king.

At least that’s what the blond elf said because all you see is a woman on a chair- 

Oh, wait. No, no, that is the King. 

Turns out, you’re quite the jokester because you make yourself laugh with this line of thinking which earns you a sharp look from Thorin and two pairs of confused elf eyes on you.

You clamp your mouth shut and shrug your shoulders again, and then you and Thorin are being left with the elf king.

When he gets up from his chair you’re shocked by how tall he is. Even the other elf who was bossing you around doesn’t reach the height that he does. 

When he begins to talk to Thorin about things you care little for, your gaze wanders away to view the lovely scene before you. The structure of this place is simply amazing. There is nothing like this from your home, all you had were huge neighborhoods, strip malls, and google images that provided you with things not even half as pretty as this. 

While you gaze around someone clears their throat which effectively breaks you out of your little trance.

You turn your attention back towards Thorin and the large (and very pretty) elf quee-king.

Much to your dismay they’re both staring at you expectantly.

You blink your eyes a few times and stare dumbly as you rack your brain for any clue as to what just occurred, but you only draw a blank. "Um… ‘sup?” Thats all you could come up with? Really? 

You mentally berate yourself for not paying attention, but it only seems to amuse the blond guy. “Interesting. You are not from here, are you?” He asks curiously. Thorin’s expression is sharp, and your eyes lock on him for a moment because you don’t know how much to reveal.

He shakes his head. 

“Well obviously not. I’m a human. Have you not seen my ears? Or my height? Or anything?” Your sarcasm earns a snort of amusement from Thorin, but it seems that the king only found your sarcasm funny as well.

“You know what I mean. And the look you two shared only answers my question for me.”

You release a long and over dramatic sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “Well.. It’s not your business where I’m from. So stop being lame and let us leave." 

He stopped listening though and turned back to Thorin, "Where did you find such a person? Because I can most definitely tell that she is not from Middle Earth.”

Thorin only turns his head away and responds to something else probably stated while you were busy. He starts ranting about abandonment and how he wasn’t helped. He yells something in one of their languages, and then Thranduil is all up in his face.

“Do not talk to me of dragon fire! I know… its wrath and ruin.” The king makes a weird face and you find yourself become uncomfortable as his face warps and reveals horribly scarred skin.

“I have faced… the great serpents of the North.” He then steps back and stops leaning over as his skin quickly returns to normal. “I warned your grandfather of what his greed would summon. But he would not listen. You are just like him.”

Two guards seize him suddenly and you protest loudly, “Hey! Leave him alone!” You only get ignored.

“Stay here if you will… and rot.” They start dragging him down the stairs and you move to follow after, but the booming voice of King Thranduil stops you. “Not you. You stay where you are." 

Thorin yells at him in his tongue, then yells out in an outrage, "She comes with me!” He only gets hauled further away as you look between him and the blond elf who is standing at the steps to his throne.

You take a few steps forward towards where Thorin is being dragged off to, but your arm is grabbed and yanked back towards him harshly. 

The king under the mountain continues to rage on until he disappears out of your sight, the hand on your arm not releasing you even after he is gone. 

You turn a glare up at the king and snatch your arm away, “What do you want? I have nothing to say to you!”

He only smooths his robes back down and steps away. "You and I have much to discuss…“ 

Thorin regains his composure long before he reaches the dungeon down below, not wanting to alert his company of his obvious distress. Though he does brood more than usual and the constant scowl on his features immediately worries those looking upon him. 

"Where’s Y/N?” Is the first thing he hears after he’s shoved into his own cell. He looks over towards the area the question came from and sees Kili standing there with his hands on the bars. 

“That pointy eared pixie wouldn’t let her come here with me.”

Someone exclaims their anger loudly in a cell not far from his, but he only continues. “That elvish garbage refused to let her come with me, and when she tried to follow he grabbed her arm as if he had any right-!” He cuts himself off and sits down, hands clenched into fists as he thinks about it.

The others yell out their own anger at that, and then Ori speaks up softly, “What does he want with ‘er? She’s only a human…" 

Balin speaks up next, "Does he want to know about where she’s from…? Perhaps that be the reason right there! She speaks oddly and her clothes are suspicious”

Nobody wanted to even think about that. If you refused to give them the answers they wanted, what would they do? 

Everyone is undoubtedly sharing the same dark and worrying thoughts. 

“Mahal…" 

They all understand the feeling.

[idjitlili]

Firework

Kili x modern!reader

Summary: The company turning silent  at the random lyrics you quietly say to yourself.

wordcount:2674

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting thought the wind Wanting to start again" you had whispered to yourself ,not knowing the company had begin quieting down ,as you really didn't speak much,it's not surprising really being thrown into a different world not knowing if you ever get back home.You felt like Kim jong un ,in the interview. Damn you had wished to be James franco.

"Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cards One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under scream But no one seems to hear a thing." you still hadnt realised the company was dearly concerned and silent as they heard you spit out these things,they felt horrible they couldnt help. Deciding you didnt want to speak all of the lyrics to firework,you just skipped the the end.

The company were about to hear some purposely bad singing,you did it because it's more fun,singing in a horrible low man pitch or a high squeaky pitch.it was great in your opinion ,to annoy people.

"Baby you're a firework Come on let your colors burst Make 'em go "OOOh.oh, oh!" You're gonna leave 'em fallin' DOwn down down BOOOOM,BOOOOM,BOOM" shouting each boom like a dinosaur ,oh by the way you were in a lake bathing.

"Even brighter than the moon, moon, MOOOOON Boom, BOOM, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon." you had turned around to see the whole company rushing towards you with their weapons in hand,your face flashed red,you had used your arms to cover your breasts,you had finished bathing anyways. GRabbing your towel from the side on a rock now covering yourself with that.

"have you heard of privacy?" you had spoke walking out of the water,onto the rocky ground,damn dwayne,the company had looked shocked at your rudeness.

"We heard shouting, we thought you were in danger, lass."bofur had piped up,luckily Gandalf hadnt bothered to check on you knowing you just doing you,same with some of the other dwarves aka Bombur ,Balin ,OIn, and a couple of the others that didn't think you were in danger.

"bRuh,you know I could've been being down something else and bOOm ,I don't you to see that ,or I could have been bleeding out my god darn VAGINA!" okay so you were a little mad,KIli had smirked raising his eyebrows ,when you had said the first thing,you had blushed looked away from him

They had simply muttered apologies to you ,before walking away,yeah they were a little embarrassed as they hadn't seen you burst out like that being ,you always kept everything to yourself ,mostly not wanting to anger Thorin. You thought that they had all left turning to drop your towel to dress;yet someone had cleared their throat. You had turned like sonic ,to see the youngest dwarven prince standing a couple of steps a way,you were glad he had let his presence known otherwise he would've gotten a whole view of your cake. You just stared at the dwarf who stared back still smirking.  

"that was some lovely singing." bruh why did they all rush to yo,thinking you were being stabbed then? "that wasn't bloody singing ,screaming." you had grumbled out walking closer to him pushing him to face away ,when he had turned slightly back you had glared at him. Allowing you to get dressed ,god darn it was chilly.  "I would like to hear you scream sometime ,how about it?" you had scoffed at him playfully ,you knew he was just joking but it was horrible to be led on. LIttle to his knowledge you knew about that scene with the male elf ,you hadn't watched the hobbit it many years ,and that smaug was pretty much all you could remember right now.

"it's not like you got time ,oh darn those male elves." you had spoken doing a very rude gesture ,not that he could see but you were dressed mostly now, "oh your high cheekbones, and oooh ah your perfect skin,and those mhmm tight little asses." in with that that you had snuck up on the prince cupping his ass in your hands ,before swiftly leaving the dwarf in a certain bone city. He had not expected that from you, he thought you were shy,well you were ,you were just comfortable around him.

Neither had talked to each other for a couple of days and you knew Gandalf was leading you all to Rivendell but that was a secret.  You felt like being attacked by orcs was the perfect time to sing wrecking ball  horribly and dance to which fighting off orcs. You all had been hiding behind a rock when you had began quietly speaking the lyrics.

"We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain We jumped, never asking why We kissed, I fell under your spell A love no one could deny.." so quickly only kili,fili maybe bilbo could hear as they were all next to you,Thorin had told kili to shoot one down,indeed he did but you just felt like being a wrecking ball today.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always want you" you had became slightly louder drawing the others questions as you turned to kili ,gently putting your hands on his face ,as he looked at you like you had just pooped in the shower instead of a toilet,pulling your hands down and to your sides like Tom Holland on lip sync.

You had quickly rushed to the edge of the rock spotting an orc on a warg ,spriniting after it dagger in hand ,shouting:

"I CAME IN LIKE A wRECKING BALL" Boom the orc was dead as you had jumping on it ,slicing your daggers mentally shouting ljust like drax in Guadians of the galaxy two. You had been so quickly been pulled off that orc by KIli as he ushered you to run with the company ,pulling you along by the hand. "What were you doing?!" he had spoken quite angrily.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always want you," bruh these lyrics were too similar to the situation you were in right now.  He had scoffed against the wind,not being able to resist to crack a small smile for whatever reason.

Anyways soon you had reached Rivendell and just as you had fortold Kili was into the male elves,he had twirked up a side of his lips closing an eye to gesture the ellon behind him,god. You had been sat next to him ,Bofur on the other side of him. Kili was trying to cover up that he actually liked the elves ,due to his uncle and Dwalin and their judgemental galances."though that one isn't bad." he had smirked making Bilbo choke ,and the company burst out into loud laughter. Kili's face red in embarrassment,you had made eye contact with Fili who you would tell often about his brothers love of the male elves.

You had smirked ,mouthing "what did I say?" before doing the same hand gesture as before of jerking someone off,you tried to not let KIili see,but soon he had noticed ,you had just grinned nervously at his unimpressed face ,using that hand to slip the wine awkwardly. After a few minutes you had piped up to Bilbo to try remove the tension between you and Kili. "so.....Uh Bilbo have you tried Lembas bread?"gaining his attention,shaking his head no ,then the elves started their song again causing several dwarves to groan.

"I feel like I'm at a funeral." Nori spoke up in annoyance,while Oin had stuffed a napkin into his trumpet,"Did someone die?" ,Bofur had stood up standing on a table in which in around 77 years will be sat the ring of power. "There's one one thing for it ,lads. plus one lass" aha you were recognised for once as part of the company. Kili had nudged you in the side with his elbow briefly before whispering "maybe you should sing with him ,or maybe we should get a chamber together after this ,and I can hear you scream." you had turned into a beet ,pincing him hard, as a small moan come out of his parted lips,before Bofur started singing.

"There's an inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn, Beneath an old grey hill ; And there they brew a beer so brown That the Man in the Moon himself came down One night to drink his fill.

The ostler has a tipsy cat That plays a five-stringed fiddle ; And up and down he saws his bow Now squeaking high, Now purring low;

Now sawing in the middle So the cat on the fiddle played a hey-diddle-diddle A jig that would wake the dead ; He squeaked and he sawed and he quickened the tune, While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon :

"It's after three !", he said." just as Bofur finished dancing and singing wonderfully ,god his voice ,anyways Kili was about to throw a roll /cake thing at Lindir ,you had grabbed his arm before he could. You knew it was a food fight but throwing it at that elf didn't seem right,when he offered nothing but kindness.Kili had looked at you questionly ,"his hair looks like it took him long time ,it wouldnt be right,plus he looks your type ,you wouldn't want to screw your chances already." you had grinned at him,only to throw the thing right at Lindir's chest,ruining his shirt.

You had stood up straight away grabbing a napkin,rushing to him,you had smile at him once you had gotten close to him."uhh..LOrd Elrond,can your marchwaden and I be excused?" you weren't going to explain it furthur as it was clear,Lindir expression was still in disgust of the dwarf actions,yet Elrond's was soft. "of course," he had stated simply causing you to grab Lindir by the arm pulling him to the hall in hopes of finding some water.

"I am so sorry about your shirt,I tried to stop him." you spoke passing him the napkin to try remove the cake ,in which he took."My lady ,I appricate your effort,however I assure you worse has occured to me ," his voice smooth as ice,as you reached a foutain he dipped the napkin a little to help remove the cake ,he was very handsome. "you like that dwarf don't you ,my lady,I hope I am not being too bold,if so please say." you had sat on the wall of the fountain ,as did he ,you had blushed at his words.

UNknowningly to you a bunch of dwarves were heading this way,stripping to bathe in the fountain.

"No,no that isn't too bold ,,it is true." before either of you can speak there is a roar of laughter and huge splash in the fountain soaking both you and LIndir ,both of you had turned around to see a very naked Kili alongside most of the dwarves. You had pulled LIndir to stand up ,you were blushing hard. "whatever you do ,don't look down."you had whispered to Lindir who didn't say anything ,as someone had tapped your shoulder,when I say think of that hippo from madagascar getting out of the water that is exactly what it looks like now. His hair slicked back,the sun glinting on the water droplets on his muscular body.

"hey ,LIndir is it?Can I talk to y/n?"KIli had sent killer glares to the tall elf,you had pinched kili again to try get him to show some manners. "when this quest is over,Lindir I will sure to return with a new shirt for you." in with that he had smiled at you before leaving you with a very naked prince,you tried to not look ,just trying to look annoyedly at the dwarf who just sorta smirked at you.

"really? you didnt ev-please put some bloody pants on"you had shouted at the dwarf in annoyance ,he did have a full package and you couldn't help but glance he had chuckled at you. "oh so you checked me out,I'm honoured." he had smirked even wider than you thought was possible,turning into bloody pennywises nose. "..uh...." before you could even think of what to say,he had scooped you up into his arms before throwing you into the water,you had gasped now soaked,you had pulled kili over by his foot only for him to fall right on top of you.  His bare chest against your soaking tunic ,and his pipe was on your bare stomach ,where your tunic had risen up ,his eyes looking back into his shocked ones. THe water well over your face ,as you were both underwater.

Well that was until Dwalin had pulled Kili off you ,and Fili had helped you up to stand in the water.Dwalin was fuming at the prince's behaviour," If ye gonna court the lass do it bloody properly,show some bloody respect instead of shoving ye cock on her." he had shouted at the embarrassed dwarf ,who just gulped in response,you didnt want to see anyones cock like this really. "Thank you ,Dwalin but I didnt pull him over," you had spoken quietly ,grabbing kili by the arm ,walking out of the fountain and away.

"where are you taking me?" he had questioned trying to catch up with your rushing steps."to my room ,while I go get your bloody clothes;you will do as I say." and that is it he did not question as you left him in your room returning shortly with his stuff ,as he got changed you began running yourself a bath. You had sat him on the edge of your bed as you stood infront of the youngest dwarven prince.

"Here's the deal if you want to to court me , you will apologise to Lindir ,and you will court me properly like supposed to do. You are very charming and everything I do not wish to be messed around and I... do like you ,next time if you want my attention dont.. flash me in front of everyone .So what do you say to that , KIli?" you had let out with some pauses to rethink certain points before saying them ,looking at the dwarven prince you stared back at you with loving gaze.

"I agree to your deal,will you accept me courting you,y/n/n?"he had stood up ,holding your hands gently in his,you had nodded pressing your lips to his briefly,before pointing to the door. "now go to LIndir while I bath ,then you can braid my hair,"

Maybe you weren't a plastic bag ,cuz god makes no mistakes ,you are beautiful in your own way.

This imagine took longer than I thought ,but I have dedicated this to my two bestfriends jorja and Blake who have been here for me most of highschool,and jorja for  8 years. MOstly blake because of all the lady gaga references I put in this because he hooked me , I remember dancing on the bus with blake after a school trip,and after a drama perfomance and during a drama performance. Singing phineas and ferb together. I remember jorja slapping me in the face with herbs and I remember her chasing me after she said i got no titties ,and graphite. Too my best buds.

[the-durin-boys]

Stuck -- Lindir x Reader

This is for the lovely lovely @spadesthequeen who requested this quite a bit ago. I’m really sorry that this took so long, and I hope the story makes up for it!

Enjoy!

--

The mortifying reality of your current situation is inescapable, no matter what you would like to think. Right now, you are sitting at an Elvish table, eating a nice simple salad with Lord Elrond, Gandalf, Thorin (he excused himself a while ago) and Lindir, a good friend of both you and Gandalf. You had met him only twice before, but each time was like you had known each other your whole lives. So to say that you were embarrassed by the Company’s rash and rude behavior was an understatement. Your cheeks feel warm, be it from the wine or from embarrassment, you don’t know, but what you do know is that this wine is absolutely fantastic and drinking more of it to hide your face in the cup is a very good idea. 

You joined this quest under the plea of Gandalf. He said that it would be a treasure to bring you along, your magical abilities being priceless to the adventure. You, of course, had questioned why you would be needed when he was there, and Gandalf simply stated that he may not be there at all times, and that a person of your skill would make sure that if anything went astray, no lives would be lost. You agreed, after hours of talk and reading over a contract that dear old Balin had written up. You thought that this would be very straightforward, going from point A to point B, but when is anything simple? The Company of Thorin Oakenshield and yourself were chased down by a pack of Orcs and Wargs, the threat of death looming closer than you would have liked, before Gandalf revealed a passage that hid the company from the sight of the Orcs. Everyone had been surprised when an Orc body fell into the small cavern that Gandalf had taken you into, and even more so when the discovery was made that it was and Elvish bow and arrow that had slain the foul creature. But the surprise didn’t stop there, but merely peaked when it was revealed that the passage Dwalin pursued lead to the kingdom of Rivendell. Thorin, of course, was furious, but nevertheless, the group pushed on and soon you found yourselves in the home of the Elves, Lindir being the one to greet you at the gates. He had been surprised to see you, offering you a warm welcome in Elvish tongue, questioning why you were here. You were quick to explain and the rest is history. 

You take another deep swig as you watch Oin stuff a napkin into his horn and look to his friends and family who all gleefully laugh. 

“Goodness me.” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh, standing and making your way around the table to Lindir, passing Gandalf and Lord Elrond, who seem to be in deep conversation. As you pass the wine jug, you grab it and another glass before standing still next to your friend, wordlessly offering him a glass. He takes it without a second to think and you fill the glass to the brim. “Terribly sorry about my ...company. It’s been the first time in a long while that we’ve all felt safe.” Lindir gulps down a mouthful of fruity wine, and cocks his eyebrow up at you. 

“We?” You smile, and take a sip. 

“You know what I mean.” Lindir chuckles, feeling at ease and almost released of his duties, but quickly feels the tension return to the base of his head when Bofur, oh dear Bofur, stands on a pedestal and starts to sing a bar room song. You fill his glass, giggling as he sighs heavily. “I’ll make sure they clean up, don’t worry.” You playfully elbow him and drain your glass, which is promptly re-filled. The room is starting to feel a bit warmer, lighter, or maybe that’s just you and the wine, but either way, you are really starting to enjoy yourself. As Bofur’s song continues, the dwarves get more and more riled up, starting to throw food, some of which flew in the direction of you and Linidir. You duck, just in time for a handful of what looks like mashed potatoes, to fly into a statue, where your head just was. Wine splashes down the front of your formal dining dress, and potatoes stick into Lindir’s hair. 

You laugh, drinking the last few drops of wine from the jug as Lindir flicks potatoes out of his hair. Your wild laughter draws the attention of Gandalf and Elrond, who both can’t keep the smiles off their faces. 

“Lindir.” Lindir immediately straightens up. 

“Yes, my lord?”

“You are relieved of your duties for the rest of the evening.” Lindir looks confused, and is about to question, when you jump up and place both the jug and both of your glasses on the table. 

“Thank you, Elrond!” Elrond doesn’t even get the chance to respond before you have Lindir by the arm and are dragging him away from the chaotic mess of a dinner. As soon as your away, you throw your arms around Lindir and pull him into a hug. “It’s been so long!” Lindir laughs and returns the hug in full. 

“It has, I did not think that the next time we would meet would be now, with you covered in wine.”

“And you, with your hair full of potatoes!” You pull away and look him over. “And now also covered in wine.” Lindir looks down and chuckles at the red stain (though faint) covering his clothes. 

“Let us get changed, before you drag me on an adventure that I’m sure you’ve been thinking about all evening.” 

“Awe,” You gently bump your shoulder against his. “You know me so well. Walk me to my room?” Lindir smiles down at you. 

“Of course.”

--

Lindir doesn’t really know what he’s feeling right now. Kind of a churny-thumpy feeling in his chest that makes him lose his normal composure and causes him to bounce on the balls of his feet. He’s been standing outside your room for several minutes now, waiting for you to come out. He had gotten cleaned up as quickly as he could, and expected you to do the same, but it appears that today you plan on taking your time with your dressing. Lindir would never admit it out loud - he is a gentleman - but the way the wine soaked your clothes, causing them to stick oh-so wonderfully to your body, showing off each curve and dip and tuck of your body was, simply put, entrancing. He’s been trying to gather the strength to knock on your door for about five minutes, his fist drifting closer and then farther away with each passing second.

“Come on,” He whispers, sucking in a deep breath, before lightly knocking on the door, three times. 

-- 

Inside the room, you stand in front of your mirror, and very frustrated. You had planned on leading Lindir up to the top of the small cliff to stargaze, and you wanted to look nice while doing it. So you picked out a fancy dress that complemented you “tones and curves, very nicely, my dear.”, as stated by a lovely handmade who you wish was here right now to help untangle you from the many straps and strands of beads of the dress. 

You let out and angry huff, feeling both very claustrophobic and exposed at the same time. You’re so focused on the fact that you can’t move one of your arms without ripping out a seam, that you almost don’t hear the three light knocks on your door. 

Oh, thank god the handmaid is back. 

“Come in!” You yell as you gently tug at a very pretty string of beads. “Thank goodness you’re here, I got-” You turn, expecting to see your very kind handmaid, but instead see Lindir, red-faced and trying to turn his eyes away, and trying to leave at the same time. 

“I-I am so sorry, I didn’t mean-” Lindir continues to stutter his way out the door, which is shut rather hard, and leaves you in an awkward silence. Which is even more awkward because you’re still tied up by your own dress. You’re quiet, but continue to try to free yourself from your fabric. Five or so minutes pass without any success, and you almost start to cry.

Where did she go??

You don’t really have many options, either remain stuck, or call to Lindir for help, who no doubt is still behind the door. You clear your throat and hold your head high, trying to fight the mortification of asking your friend to help untangle - and thus, undress - you. 

“Lindir?” Your voice echoes for a few seconds. 

“Yes?” Comes his tentative reply. 

“I need-” Your face flushes a deep red. “I need help. I’m stuck.” Everything is quiet for a moment before you hear Lindir clear his throat, and the door opens. He enters rather quickly and shuts and locks the door behind him with a quick click. “So. I don’t know how I did this, but I did.” You watch Lindir through your mirror, and smile as he chuckles quietly to himself. 

“Well you have managed to get yourself into a lot sticker situations before, so.” He approaches you, simultaneously looking at you and looking away, trying not to stare at the exposed skin of your stomach and back. 

“That is true, very true.” You tense when you feel Lindir touch your dress, and he pauses for a second before continuing. His fingers make quick work of unweaving and untangling the strands and straps and beads. You feel the dress loosen and suddenly you can move your arm again, which you do. Unbeknownst to you, the dress was so loose that by you moving your arm, it would fall. Which it did. Lindir was quick to catch the fabric and hold it up against your bare skin, hands almost caressing your waist and chest. You gasp and also try to gather up the fabric, the action causing you to step backwards and into Lindir’s chest. The pair of you still, both of you holding up the dress, caught up in each others warmth, all which looking at the other through the mirror. A warm feeling picks up low in your gut, and your cheeks blush a warm red. Lindir’s breath brushes your ear and you tilt your head, just a little. Lindir’s eyes swim with a dark, hot tension and you let your head fall back against his shoulder. Lindir’s head tips forward, just a bit, like he wants to kiss the smooth skin at the juncture of your neck and shoulder, but unsure if he shoulder. Your breath grows heavy, and you let yourself almost relax into Lindir’s warmth. 

“Is the door locked?” Lindir’s head dips down and his teeth graze over the sensitive skin of your neck. 

“Of course.”

[itsyaboiwritersblock]

Made of Sunshine

Pairing(s): Bofur x Female Hobbit Reader

Rating: T

Warnings: Language

Words: 2,179

Genre: Fluff, Comedy

I do not own the GIFs or characters

With a heavy sigh, she tore her bored gaze from the crackling fire in front of her to the line of trees that hid a small lake behind her. Truly, she wished to take a dip, but being the only female in a company of thirteen male dwarves and a male hobbit, who happened to be her brother, it was clear she had to wait her turn. So, while she listened to the heartfelt laughs and splashes from the lake, her eyes stared at the fire, as if she was preparing for it to suddenly stand up from its spot on the kindling and march off. Well, that would be something interesting to watch rather than what she was currently watching.

Honestly, she didn't mind sharing, it was her brother who did. Bilbo was almost like a father figure to her instead of an older brother, considering how protective and overbearing he could be. He always told her that he could solve all her problems, that she could trust him with anything. But, there was one thing she would never in her whole life tell him, as it regarded her romantic feelings towards a certain someone. She didn't want him overreacting and making a scene. Normally she would be worried of him scaring the person she had her eye on, but, Bilbo didn't really strike fear into the hearts of anyone in the company, {Y/N} included.

A sudden rustling sound pulled {Y/N} from her brooding thoughts, the small hobbit looking up at the line of trees once more to see the dwarves beginning to make their way back to the makeshift camp they all made. As {Y/N} looked around, she had noticed that's three of the company's members had yet to return from their soak. Fili, Kili, and Bofur were nowhere to be seen, which was normal for the two brothers, as they tended to cause quite a lot of mischief. But Bofur? If he was straying behind with those two, it couldn't have been good, which caused {Y/N}'s heart to constrict. The thought alone of the dwarf in the funny hat caused her to flush and feel all giddy inside. Yes, the one she had affections for happened to be a silly miner, but, that didn't bother her in the slightest.

"{Y/N} dear, are you feeling all right? You look a bit flushed."

Her brother, Bilbo, snapped her out of her sappy thoughts for a second as she had been caught. Luckily, the mother hen of the group was willing to back her up. Well, kind of, he too noticed her flushed features but was convinced it was a different reason.

"She doesn't appear all right to me, all red in the face she is! I told you that sitting that close to the fire isn't good for you!"

With a relieved sigh, {Y/N} smiled, said action being illuminated by the orange glow of the fire in front of her. As she opened her mouth to speak, a sudden yell broke through the forest and put everyone on edge.

"What. . . What do you think that could have been?"

The female hobbit stood from her spot on the log, smoothing out her skirts as she curiously looked out at the forest, no hint of fear evident on her. Meanwhile, her brother Bilbo was standing in front of her rather protectively, trembling arms out in a shielding stance.

Turns out, none of that was needed, as two laughing princes darted from the trees, collapsing in front of the fire with a chorus of giggles and chuckles. Fili and Kili seemed pretty amused, which was never a good sign when it came to the two princes. Now, {Y/N} could only feel worry tangle in her gut as she realized Bofur had yet to return, and that sudden yell was caused by him.

"Oh, {Y/N} darling, you might want to check on our poor miner."

Kili giggled, and how he figured out her feelings for Bofur was a complete mystery, one she'd rather not question and look into. Instead, she glanced over at Thorin, their leader, with an almost pleading look. The Hobbit was aware someone needed to check on Bofur, but why did it have to be her?

"{Y/N}, go check. It is your time to bathe anyway, you can check on him and once he leaves you can bathe."

Oh damn Thorin and his logic!

{Y/N} flushed a bright red, wishing she could sink to the bottom of the lake and stay there once she went in. But for now, all she could do was scowl at Thorin's smug expression, her brows furrowing at his smirk. Bilbo seemed confused at the exchange that just went on, quickly on his sister's heels after she stood with her extra clothes and soap, already marching to the lake.

"Wait, Bilbo, why do you follow me?"

She asked, curious as to why she couldn't walk the 50 feet to the lake alone.

"Well, I don't. . . I don't know if there's something in these woods."

She deadpanned at his half ass excuse but didn't fight him, almost finding it sweet at that moment at least someone cared about her. Maybe they didn't care about what she did and didn't want to do, but the thought counts. Maybe.

"You needn't worry about me, brother, I'll be perfect-"

{Y/N} cut herself off as she walked through the thick line of trees, revealing the lake, who's waters were practically clear. Oh, walking through the trees also revealed a half-naked Bofur, bending over to grab his shirt, which was thoroughly soaked.

Ah, so the prince's must've thrown the poor miner's things into the water. Or, maybe they were able to just get away with the shirt as it appeared that was the only thing that was wet.

{Y/N} felt frozen in her spot, her face heating up hotter than the fire she had just been sitting in front of. And before she could stop herself, she had to rake her eyes up and down his half dressed and disheveled form.

This was the first time she had seen him without a shirt, and without his hat, which she couldn't find anywhere at first. Had the two brothers taken that?

She didn't dwell too long on the question, as she was too busy staring at the dwarf in front of her and his gloriously fit muscles that lined his back.

Hot damn! If he back looked this could, his front could only look better, right?

As if on some sort of cue, Bofur turned around slightly, shirt in his hand, and oh hallelujah, she was right. His front was definitely better than staring at his back. His hair, usually up in his trademark braided pigtails, was let down, and it was long enough to brush against his shoulders. The smile he always wore was replaced with more of a half smirk as he gazed at the two hobbits, and {Y/N} felt her knees go weak at his expression alone.

How could someone who's always so upbeat, happy, and overall adorable suddenly be so undeniably sexy? Not that she was going to complain. Instead, she let her eyes not so subtly trace his clearly fit chest, the outline of his muscles not heavily defined, but it was obvious they were there. No, he didn't have washboard abs but she still found herself growing weak at his physique.

Since she had never seen him shirtless, she always assumed maybe he was on the slightly chubby side, or maybe he had a full-on dad bod, both of which she didn't mind at all. But this? It was definitely a pleasant surprise.

And before the hobbit could stop herself, she muttered out one key phrase that earned a choking sound from her brother.

"It's like he's made of sunshine and sex."

Bilbo gawked at his sister for a moment as Bofur approached them, thankfully not hearing anything the female hobbit had just said.

"Lass? Bilbo? What are you two doing down here?"

Even uttering that pet name he gave her caused a small reaction from {Y/N}, her bottom lip being sandwiched between her two rows of teeth.

"Oh, uh, {Y/N} came down to get ready for her bath. . . And I. . . I came along to check on you, as we heard quite the racket, we assume, that was caused by a certain pair of Durin princes."

"Oh aye! The damn bastards took my hat and tossed my shirt into the water after I had just gotten out. But I'm not too upset, though I am glad you and {Y/N} came to check on me."

Bilbo just gave the dwarf a bright smile as he turned around and started walking back towards the camp, Bofur soon following, leaving {Y/N} alone by the lake with her thoughts.

Immediately, a squeal passed her lips, and she almost ran back to camp if it meant spending more time with Bofur, but she truly was a mess and needed to be cleaned as much as the other dwarves did. So, gently she started to unlace her dress, pushing the fabric past her hips, leaving her in just a white and practically see-through slip. Her hands grabbed the bottom of the item and pulled up, successfully taking off her last item of clothing. And with a sigh, she had lowered herself into the cool water, it being a welcomed feeling after a long day of travel.

Unknown to the hobbit, a certain pair of eyes stayed on her longer than necessary as she undressed. Bofur was walking away with Bilbo, but he realized he had left some soap Dori leant him at the lake edge, and he didn't really need to feel the wrath of the group's mother hen. But as he walked through the line of trees, he was forced to stop in his tracks as he saw only what he could describe as the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Sure, he fancied {Y/N}, but chose to stay away due to the fact that he didn't want to give her brother a hobbit heart attack. He knew damn well Bilbo wouldn't approve of his sister courting any of the dwarves, especially someone like Bofur. He wasn't royalty, he wasn't special, he was just a miner. But, that miner has fallen in love with that girl from the Shire and he couldn't help it.

And now, here he was, watching her undress like a pervert rather than look away and give the woman privacy. But, he couldn't find the strength to look away, the small freckles all over her body, her soft round thighs, those things alone were drawing him to stay. Bofur knew he needed to leave, though, and fast, before she caught him and well, before he developed a certain. . . Problem.

The dwarf had reluctantly pulled his gaze away from the sweet hobbit and instead made his way back to camp, the images of a very naked {Y/N} still dancing in his mind, causing his mood to skyrocket. Of course, Kili had noticed his dopey smile and dared to ask him about it.

"Say, Bofur, what has you in such a good mood?"

Kili shot Bofur a grin, almost knowing what he was going to say, but no one was prepared for what he uttered next, especially Bilbo, who was actually sitting next to him on a log.

"Let me tell you, that one, {Y/N}. . . I would love to rough her up in an art gallery because dammit, that masterpiece deserves to be pinned against the wall."

And that's when all hell broke loose.

The first one to make a sound was Bilbo, which was really only a sputter, followed by a curt sentence: "You what!"

This spurred on Fili and Kili to full on break into a fit of laughter, said fit even generated a small chuckle from Dwalin and a laughing fit from Nori. Oin asked if someone could repeat what was said, causing Gloin to reassure him that he really didn't want to know. Bifur looked confused and honestly seemed to act like he wasn't in any way related to the idiotic miner. Bombur simply placed his head in his hands, trying to process what he just heard. Dori seemed panicked as Ori was trying to ask what that meant and Nori, through small giggles, was trying to provide a crude explanation. Balin could only shake his head at the chaos that was going on, and Thorin simply shot Bofur a small smirk.

The loud commotion only stopped when {Y/N} walked back to camp, seeming refreshed but confused.

"Does one of you mind telling me what is going on? I'm pretty sure they could hear your laughter in Rivendell!"

She chuckled to herself, but no one replied, as they seemed transfixed on looking between her and Bofur. It wasn't until Fili spoke up that everything started up again.

"Oh, welcome back, you masterpiece."

[thewarriorandtheking]

Temptation

For Prompt 12 of the 52-Week Writing Challenge:

“You’re a hot ticket, my friend.” 

This one came together pretty fast...I have been planning to write a story about The Warrior and The King’s wedding with her family...I had the idea one of the guests would catch Thorin’s eye and they would have a row about it, because weddings always involve some kind of  drama ;-)  

52-Week Challenge MasterList

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Thorin Oakenshield was enjoying a pipe alone in the garden when out of the corner of his eye he saw a sweep of auburn hair and long bare legs. This woman could start a war, Thorin thought to himself as she turned and started to walk toward him. She was wearing a spectacular necklace of fire opals and smaller green stones, it was the first thing Thorin noticed but the rest of her was just as mesmerizing. Her figure was full and voluptuous, her skin flawlessly white, her hair falling in loose curls past her waist, the crimson dress she wore had a deeply cut neckline and was so short Thorin was amazed it actually covered her. It wasn’t until she stopped in front of him Thorin realized she was short for a Dorsai, even in six-inch heels she was shorter than he, and she had the most amazing light green eyes. The kind of eyes you could lose yourself in.

“You are staring,” she said, her tone was amused.

Thorin nodded. “I have a more than passing interest in gemstones, my lady,” he said, carefully keeping his eyes on her face. “That is the most spectacular fire opal I have ever seen.”

She put a hand on her necklace, tracing the edges of the large gem at the center, then looked up at him through her lashes. “Is that the only thing that interests you?”

“I don’t believe we have met,” Thorin replied formally. “I am Thorin Oakenshield.”

“I am Siann Sinclair, of House Sinclair.” She looked Thorin up and down appraisingly. “I am here for your wedding tomorrow.”

“You are Lady Sinclair?” Thorin was surprised, he had expected a much older woman. She looked barely out of her twenties. The fact she was a Sinclair did explain her appearance. Some of the Dorsai clans were very conservative, with strict rules about courtship and behavior, the Grahams were notorious traditionalists. The Sinclairs were the exact opposite, conforming more to Exotic norms. He remembered mention of Lady Sinclair had resulted in some eye-rolling from the Graham women, now he knew why.

She smiled at him. “I am the daughter. My mother died a few years ago, so I get the title.” She reached up and unclasped her necklace, placing it in his hand. Her fingers lingered, tracing the edges of his hand. Thorin felt a thrill run up his back. “Here, I know you will want a closer look.”

“Thank you,” Thorin replied. He put away his pipe and turned his attention to the stone, which was indeed fabulous. At the same time he set his mind to quell his growing arousal. Thorin loved his wife but that did not make him immune to the charms of a beautiful woman. He felt an almost uncontrollable urge to stroke the side of her neck, to feel if her skin was as soft as it looked. This woman was so different from his wife, all soft curves and sex. Kaylea Wolf was stunningly beautiful in a different way, statuesque, graceful and reserved - at least in public.

Siann had stepped back and was looking him up and down appraisingly. “So, you are the one they call Erebor. You are quite the hot ticket, you know,” she said. “I think I am quite jealous of General Wolf.”

Thorin smiled and offered her the necklace back, instead she turned around and swept her hair aside so he could fasten it. Since he couldn’t think of a polite way to refuse, Thorin placed it around her neck. His fingers touched her skin as he worked the clasp, her skin was soft as velvet. She turned around with a smile.

“Have any plans for this evening, Erebor?” She leaned in very close, her skin smelled of roses, her lips the color of polished rubies. “You can’t tell me you are not curious.” Thorin took a step back, he was really far more aroused than he wanted to be.  

“I will admit to curiosity, my lady. I am just not interested,” Thorin smiled slightly. “I am a happily married man.”

“Not until tomorrow,” Siann replied. “You have one more night of freedom before you become a Graham.”

Thorin shook his head. “The wedding tomorrow is for Kaylea’s family, we were married in my country many years ago.”

“That’s too bad,” she said, green eyes flashing in amusement. Idly she plucked a leaf from the vine near her head and broke off the thin stem. Not taking her eyes from Thorin’s she put the stem in her mouth, then after a moment pulled it out. She took hold of his hand and dropped it in his palm, the stem was now tied in a knot. Thorin stared at it, his mind racing down avenues it really shouldn’t. “I can promise you a night to remember,” she breathed softly. Before Thorin could step back she pressed his hand against her thigh, then started drawing it up under her dress. Her silky skin was warm under his touch. She leaned against him, ruby lips parted slightly. The scent of her was intoxicating, Thorin willed himself to pull his hand back but instead found himself sliding his other hand around her waist to draw her closer. Suddenly he doubled over from a piercing pain in his ankle. He looked down to see Vuko biting his leg.

Siann quickly stepped back, looking shocked. “I thought that was your wolf! Does it always bite you like that?”

Thorin reached down to grab his ankle; Vuko had bitten deep and he was bleeding. “I can’t imagine what got into her,” he said, grimacing. “If you will excuse me, I need to bind this. I wish you a very good evening, my lady.”

Motioning Vuko to follow him Thorin strode away from temptation as fast as he could, his sock soaked with blood. Donal Graham and the others were still inside celebrating, he hurried to rejoin them hoping Lady Sinclair would not follow. Apparently it was a Dorsai tradition to take the groom out drinking the night before the wedding and Thorin had just stepped out for a smoke, it was not a common vice on Dorsai and not tolerated indoors. He had not expected to encounter such a vision; he shook his head to clear it. That woman must have been using designer pheromones, there was no way he should have lost control like that. What would have happened if Vuko had not intervened? He had been very close to kissing her, that was bad enough but it certainly would not have gone further. Or would it?

Thorin paused just outside the doors to look down at his wolf gratefully. Vuko was wearing a reproachful look, he could sense she felt she had done the right thing, but was still worried he might be angry.

“That is the second time you have saved me from myself, Miss,” he said, ruffling her ears. “Perhaps I do need a wolf after all.”

Read the complete adventures of The Warrior and The King on AO3 & FanFiction, links on my homepage or search for akdogdriver. Books I & II also on Wattpad.

@sdavid09  @soradragon @fizzyxcustard

[theincaprincess]

Shelter at my future *part 2*

Here is part two for you my darlings :D 

Forever tag list  @amyf20 @blankdblank @moonfaery @deepestfirefun @catthefearless @meyoko10  @tolkienprincess @starlightintherain89  @southsidesarcasticwriter  @fuer-immer-jetzt  

Ori tag list @bettythedwarfqueen @tolkien-fantasy @thesmellofasinnamonroll

some tags are being annoying!

Catch up here 

Part 1

Word count 1,377

A year went by and your friendship with Ori grew and grew, he would sneak out of Erebor to spend time with you, while you would be behind the counter in your shop, or returning the books to their shelves  he would sit at the table at the window sketching the scenes outside or of you while you were working, and from time to time Ori would sneak you into to Erebor as you offered your help to sort out the great library, with your help the library was sorted within a few months much to the other dwarves confusion at how Ori managed it on his own, you were almost caught one day and had to hide under a table, until Ori managed to get rid of one of the old nobles, and sneak you out of Erebor all because some of the dwarves at Erebor still didn't trust or like humans.

Standing behind the counter you looked up to the ringing bell and smiled as Ori walked in with a smile on his face and handed you a box, opening it up you giggled "chocolate cake, my favourite, thank you Ori" making the shy dwarf blush a little. 

Hours passed while you worked and Ori sat quietly and sketched, just before closing time you remembered your new sign that you needed help hanging "Ori while you are here could you help me with something?" 

Putting his pencil down Ori nodded "of course (y/n), what is it?" 

"My new sign came, and I need help hanging it" standing from the table Ori went to the cupboard and pulled out the ladder and hammer with nails, taking them outside while you carried the sign, holding in your giggles at the small dwarf trying to hammer the last nail in but he just couldn't reach it. 

"Come down Ori and let me finish it" you laughed out and watched the defeated dwarf climb down the ladder and handed you the hammer, making your way up the ladder you hammered the last nail in and climbed back down stepping a few feet away and looked up at the sign and smiled. 

"Old Roots" Ori spoke the name out loud and smiled returning inside you made some tea and took two slices of the cake out of the box and joined Ori at the table watching him finish the sketch of the town. 

Collecting the cups you walked over to the counter and placed them on it, turning back around you heard the great bell chime, looking at Ori "you better get back to Erebor before they send a search party for you" you said as you watched the dwarf's face run through a lot of different expressions until it settled on a panicked face.  

"The dinner" Ori said in a panic standing up he gave you a quick cuddle and left your shop in a hurry rushing to returning to Erebor for the company dinner that night, as he rushed out of the door, he tried his best to tuck all his lose sketches back into his book as a lonely one floated to the ground in front of you.

Picking it up you left your shop and shouted "Ori your sketch" but he had already turned the corner, looking down at the paper in your hand you decided to unfold it, after looking at it you felt the smile slowly appear on your face because it was a sketch of you working, holding it close to your chest you returned to your shop, you would be lying to yourself if you didn't say you had fallen in love with the shy dwarf. 

.... 

Sitting at the table the company was waiting on Ori again, he was late again it was the fourth time he was late and everyone started to wonder why, entering the room Ori quickly walked to his place and sat down while all eyes were on him. 

"You're late again laddie" Gloin whispered to him across the table. 

Blinking Ori nodded "I was really busy in the library" everyone who was listening didn't believe him as that was his favourite excuse to use lately, listening to everyone weekly round-up, it got to Ori and he talked about cleaning the library and sorting the books making everyone roll their eyes and he slowly shut up letting someone else talk. 

Taking out the latest sketch of you that was in his pocket Ori looked at it and smiled to himself as he ran his fingers over your face, sitting next to Ori Kili was looking for the knife he just dropped and he saw the sketch.

"What new sketch have you done Ori?" Kili spoke as he pulled it from Ori's hand looking at it.

"Give that back" Ori whined but Kili held it higher up as Fili took it and looked at it. 

"She's a pretty lass, someone from Dale?" Fili asked in a teasing manner making Ori blush a little, something Thorin and Balin both noticed but the others didn't, trying to reach his drawing Ori was being pulled back from Fili by Kili as the others laughed at the new drama unfolding in front of them.

Trying his best to get his drawing back Ori's eyes started to feel with tears, something Thorin noticed banging his fits on the table Thorin shouted "Enough! Give him back his drawing" making the whole room jump and stop moving for a second.

"We're only teasing him, Uncle" Fili said as he handed it back to Ori, taking it he ran out the room to the laughter of the rest of the company at him being protective over his drawings, ending the dinner Thorin asked Bailn to stay behind, making a plan to get to the bottom of this with Ori.

....

It had been a month since the last dinner and the library had kept Ori busy, with the nobles families returning to Erebor from the iron hills and the blue mountains they needed books for schooling their children, sitting at the desk Ori had written down all the new supplies he was in need of and soon he would have to make the trip to Dale to get them all, where he would finally be able to see you, taking one of the sketches he had drawn of you Ori studied your face and hair, it was a simple sketch of you standing behind the counter in your bookshop, but it made Ori smile while he ran his finger over it, again and again, hearing a throat being cleared Ori's eyes shoot up to see who the owner was while hiding the sketch under the table. 

"Who is she, laddie?" Balin asked holding a soft smile and placing the books down on the desk.

"She's a friend in Dale" Ori blushed while speaking nodding Balin took the other chair and sat down. 

"A friend? Well, tell me about her?" Blushing Ori pulled the sketch out and handed it over to Balin "she is a pretty lass, Ori." 

Seeing Ori turn a darker shade of red while he started talking about you, and how he met you after listening to everything Balin stood and patted Ori on the back. 

"I'm glad you have a friend Ori" he spoke as he picked up his books ready to leave the library.

"She's more than a friend to me Balin" Ori whispered making the old dwarf do a double take, placing his books back down, he sat again and looked at the young dwarf in front of him. 

"Ori, laddie is she your one?" Balin asked holding a knowing look.

"I, I, I don't know Balin, I can't stop thinking about her and I've missed her so much and she's just...." cutting himself off Ori looked at the sketch and smiled making Balin laugh and place his hand on Ori's shoulders. 

"Well I never thought I would live long enough to see you finding your one, but I have now, go to her laddie and tell her, I'll cover for you tonight with the company" looking at the old dwarf Ori smiled and stood up in a hurry and left the library in such a rush making Balin laugh out loud.

Part 3

[laisselfreemaiden]

Grandma’s Ring pt. 4

Warning: Cursing, you curse. I don’t remember how much. Some fun with dwarves, who sing. Snow White would’ve been cooler with these dwarves lol

A/n: So this is almost 3000 words. I have a pdf of the scripts for this, but some of the descriptions of how they appear or act is my own because they don’t have that in it. That’s my excuse if anything is inaccurate. Also, it’s long cuz I wanted to just cut it off when Bilbo faints cuz ya know. Why not, seems like a good place. Anyway, enjoy!

    You watch as the dwarves, brought by Gandalf this time, raid Bilbo’s cupboards and seem to completely disregard the poor hobbit who’s anxiously tries to get them to listen to him. It’s oddly funny, seeing them run around. And, oddly, they’re slightly taller than you thought and broader, their hair looks more tangled but also looks like it could be soft. If you are stuck in this world, you might as well pay really close attention to your favorite characters, right?

    “Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me.”

    Bilbo gets distracted by the dwarf Bombur walking out with an entire stack of cheese wheels in his arms.

    “Excuse me, a tad excessive, isn’t it? Have you got a cheese knife?”

    You just grin to yourself as the dwarf’s brother replies with, “Cheese knife? He eats it by the block.”

    Bilbo looks nearly ready to kill the dwarves.

    Oin and Gloin are bringing chairs down into the hall for all of them to have seats, one of them carrying a very old, very nice looking chair that Bilbo ends up nearly flipping his shit over.

    “No, no, that’s Grandpa Mungo’s chair! No, I’m sorry, you’ll have to take it back please. Take it back...it’s antique, not for sitting on! Thank you! That’s a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank you.”

    “I cannot hear what you’re saying,” Oin replies, and you have to stifle a laugh.

    Gandalf motions you over to him as Dori appears with a tray of tea. “Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, young miss, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?”

    You never actually had tea, so you accept the small cup with a smile, but Gandalf declines for red wine instead. You’ve seen the hobbit’s wine glasses and knew it really would be barely a shot of wine. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing before taking a small sip of your tea. It’s actually pretty good. Then, you watch Gandalf count the dwarves on his fingers.

    “Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...Ori.”

    Bilbo wrestles a bowl of tomatoes away from Nori, which makes you chuckle behind your cup, as Bifur comes up to Gandalf and says something in his native tongue.

    “Yes, you’re quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short.”

    “He is late, is all,” Dwalin says. “He travelled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come.”

    You carefully watch the dwarves as Dori brings Gandalf his shot of wine. The wizard almost seems disappointed there isn’t more. Neither Bilbo nor you are seated at the table, mostly because there isn’t room. You just watch in amusement as Bofur tosses food into Bombur’s mouth. Your laugh is hidden within the cheering of the company. You do feel bad for Bilbo, though. After all, he didn’t even know they would come.

    After they eat, they all begin to wander around, so you help Bilbo try to keep them from eating the rest of the house, though you’d be more helpful if you weren’t so giddy. It’s not every day you find yourself in a book or movie you love!

    “Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!”

    Bofur, the dwarf with a furry ear flap hat, looks back at Bilbo as he takes it away. “But it’s full of holes!”

    “It’s supposed to look like that, it’s crochet.” You smile at how exasperated he is.

    The dwarf seems to want to poke fun at your poor friend. “Oh, and a wonderful game it is, if you got the balls for it.”

    As Bilbo walks up to you, you stifle a snort of amusement. “Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!”

    “Don’t be too hard on them, Bilbo. It’s a new place for them, it’s like children.”

    “I don’t believe any of the hobbit children would be this rude,” he mutters.

    Gandalf comes to talk to Bilbo and you find yourself looking over the dwarves again, but you find someone else watching you. Two someones, actually. The young princes of Erebor are looking at you just as curiously as you are them, almost like they’re trying to figure out what and who you are. You give them a small wave and Kili grins, waving back. Fili just keeps his stare on you.

    “-I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!”

    “Excuse me,” Ori cuts in and you remember he’s the youngest in the group, so you smile sweetly at him. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?”

    “Here you go, Ori, give it to me.”

    Here we go, time for the song. You can’t help but grin widely and move out of their way.

    Fili takes the plate and throws it to Kili, who throws it behind his back to Bifur. He puts each dish he catches in the sink to clean it without turning around to see. As all of Bilbo’s dishes fly through the air, Gandalf ducks even more to avoid getting hit. You must look insane as you watch the controlled chaos around you with a huge smile.

    “Excuse me, that’s my mother’s West Farthing crockery, it’s over a hundred years old!”

    The dwarves not throwing stuff and are sitting back at the table start a rhythm with their silverware and feet, which seems to make him even more upset.

    “Ooh, d’hear that, lads? He says we’ll blunt the knives.”

    Kili grins and starts the song you can’t help but laugh to. “Blunt the knives, bend the forks!”

    Fili elbows the plates and other dishes. “Smash the bottles and burn the corks!”

    “Chip the glasses and crack the plates, that’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”

    You laugh softly, watching everything flying through the air and the different expressions of anger and frustration fall across Bilbo’s face.

     The song ends not long after, with the dwarves and Gandalf laughing and Bilbo fuming to himself. Everything, however, falls silent when there are three knocks at the door. For the first time since the Durin brothers arrived, you say something.

    “It’s starting,” you whisper to yourself, but Bilbo is close enough to hear you.

    “What is?”

    You blink out of your little world and look at him. “Huh? Oh, nothing. Just...thinking out loud.”

    Gandalf opens the front door and you try to keep yourself from leaning over to see him. You didn’t want to draw that much attention to yourself. You hear him before you see him.          “Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn’t have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.”

    You remember reading something about dwarves maybe being shortsighted, at least Thorin could be. It would make sense when you think about the rest of the movies.

    “Mark?” Bilbo looks confused and very miffed. “There’s no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!”

    “There is a mark; I put it there myself.” Gandalf seems almost proud of that. “Bilbo Baggins, Miss Y/n, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield.”

    At least he still remembers that you’re here, too.

    Thorin barely spares you a glance before staring down your poor friend. “So, this is the hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?”

    “Pardon me?”

    “Axe or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?”

    Bilbo still looks a bit confused and scared of the king dwarf. You, however, have your arms crossed over your chest and look barely fazed by anything happening. No wonder you keep getting curious looks.

    “Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that’s relevant.”

    “Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.”

    As the dwarves laugh and leave to go back to the table, Bilbo looks at you confused. “A burglar? What nonsense did Gandalf tell them?”

    You shrug your shoulders. “He’s a wizard, he could’ve told them any number of things. And god knows probably only a third of them are true.”

    Even though it’s a poor attempt at humor, it makes a small smile appear on his face. The poor hobbit has no idea how long or hard this journey will be and, if you’re honest, neither do you. Watching it, reading it, is so incredibly different that going through it. Thinking about it now, it almost makes your feet sore. Their mountain is so far away.

    “They say this quest is ours, and ours alone.”

    You and Bilbo both look up at the dwarves.

    “You’re going on a quest?” your little friend asks.

    Gandalf nods ever so slightly. “Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light.”

    He goes to bring a lit candle to the table as Gandalf spreads out a map dramatically. You lean over to try and get a look at it when you see Kili motioning you towards him. He moves slightly to allow you a spot to see everything. You smile and fit yourself in, looking over the map. It’s amazing to actually see in front of you.

    “Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak.”

    Bilbo reads the map over, but you say it first. “The Lonely Mountain.”

    Gandalf smiles at you and nods as Gloin says, “Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time.”

    “Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end.”

    Bilbo looks concerned at that. “Uh, what beast?”

    “Well, that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals-”

    Your friend interrupts the dwarf. “Yes, I know what a dragon is.”

    You start tuning them out in favor of studying the map. You don’t know the next time you’ll be able to see it or if you will ever be able to again. You doubt they’d even want to bring you along. It takes them a while to trust Bilbo and you don’t have anything to offer the company. You don’t know how to fight, you can’t track. What point would there be to take you anywhere?

    “Shazara!” You nearly jump out of your skin when Thorin shouts in Khuzdul. “If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!”

    You hold back a flinch when they all cheer. They’re louder than expected.

    “You forget: the front gate is sealed,” Balin says. “There is no way into the mountain.”

    You look to Gandalf immediately, knowing what he has up his sleeves. “That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.”

    You watch as the wizard produces the key to the mountain, seeing everyone look at it with as much wonder as you have.

    “How came you by this?” the dwarf king asks.

    “It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now.”

    Since you’re next to Kili and Fili, you hear quite clearly, “If there is a key, there must be a door.”

    “No shit, Sherlock,” you mutter, catching the two younger dwarves attention. You send them a small, sheepish smile, hoping they’d ignore what you said and wouldn’t ask what Sherlock was.

    Gandalf taps the runes on the map with his pipe. “These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls.”

    The puppy prince chimes in. “There’s another way in!”

    “Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.”

    “That’s why we need a burglar,” Ori says, looking at Bilbo, then to you.

    “Hm, a good one, too. An expert, I’d imagine,” your friend says thoughtfully.

    “And are you?”

    “Am I what?”

    You roll your lips together to stay quiet.

    “He said he’s an expert! Hey hey!”

    Bilbo looks shocked as the dwarves laugh. “M-me? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not a burglar; I’ve never stolen a thing in my life.”

     With a small nod of agreement on your part, Balin says, “I’m afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He’s hardly burglar material.”

    “Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves.”

    Your spirit drops slightly, knowing you probably can’t do either. Bilbo keeps agreeing as the dwarrows start arguing. With a small expression of sadness, you look up at a now angry Gandalf. He stands to his full height and the room grows dark as he speaks in his voice of power, making everyone fall quiet.

    “Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is.”

    He then sits again and the room goes back to normal. He looks at you with a mysterious expression and you feel your hopes lift a bit. Maybe you would be included. Did Gandalf know you knew what would happen in this journey?

    “Hobbits are remarkable light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest, as well as the young lady, and he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this.”

    Your eyes flick over everyone, waiting to see what would happen.

    “Very well. We will do it your way.”

    Bilbo starts freaking out. “No, no, no.”

    “Give him the contract.”

    “Please.”

    “Alright, we’re off!” Bofur says as Balin hands Bilbo a very long contract.

    You move from your spot to read over Bilbo’s shoulder.

    “It’s just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.”

    “Funeral arrangements?”

    He tugs you a few feet away from them to read it over. You still stand behind him as he starts muttering over the contract. “Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one fourteenth of total profit, if any.”

    “Sounds fair,” you murmur.

    “Eh, Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations...evisceration...incineration?”

    “He is a dragon,” you add.

    “Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.”

    Bilbo seems a bit breathless as you put a hand on his shoulder. “Huh.”

    “Do you feel okay?” you ask softly so only he hears you.

    “Uh, yeah...feel a bit faint.” He bends over like he’s nauseous and in pain.

    Bofur, in an attempt, possibly, to help him feel better, starts saying more on how dangerous this dragon will be. “Think furnace with wings.”

    “Air, I...I...I need air.”

    “Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You’re nothing more than a pile of ash.”

    Even you flinch at that. Bilbo takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself as you feel him lean more into your hand on his shoulder.

    “Hmmm. Nope.” 

    He immediately drops, you move quickly to hook your arms under his to hold him up. WIth a huff that blows loose hair out of your eyes, you turn to fix the dwarf responsible for this with a look.

    “Now look what you did. He’s not used to dangers like you guys, that was uncalled for.”

    Gandalf has to keep himself from chuckling over how you scold them like children. “Very helpful, Bofur.”

    He looks sheepish as you look at the other dwarves, still holding Bilbo up in your arms.

    “Well? Anyone wanna help me sit him down somewhere?”

    Thorin looks at Gandalf and whispers something you can’t hear.

    “Do you require us to take her as well?”

    Gandalf only smiles, watching as Dwalin comes to you and takes Bilbo to sit him in his comfy chair. “Hm.”

[curiouser-and-curiouser-fics]

Imagine Thorin falling in love with you at first sight

https://youtu.be/v_Jcnv9BDy8

Above is the link to a video of Master Zhang Xue Chao and his student Jen Dart performing in the art of swordplay using the well-respected Wudang sword. I had to do quite a bit of research for this, so that I would be able to represent and portray the beautiful history of the sword and techniques correctly, so I hope you all enjoy!

When the sparring scene comes along, it will be very similar to the video, so be sure to watch it!

It had been nearly four years since the kingdom of Erebor had been successfully reclaimed, the sons of Durin thankfully making it through. Thorin had been coronated, finally elevated to his rightful position as King under the mountain. The only thing he was missing was a Queen to rule by his side.

The problem with this was, he didn't really want one. Not that he was stingy with his power, but that no dwarrowdam residing in the Iron Hills, Blue Mountains, nor Erebor was acceptable, much less worthy.

Thorin had hosted several balls and galas, as a way of meeting as many dams as possible, but every single one of them seemed attracted to him only for his looks or power. Quite distasteful. Besides all that, he didn’t feel a connection to any of them as his One. 

So, the King had given up on a search for a bride.

He discussed his frustration with his confidant and best friend, Dwalin, knowing that the warrior would not ridicule him for what he would bring to his attention. 

“In all honesty, my King,” Dwalin said with a smirk, ”perhaps you should search for your One outside of the kingdom.”

Thorin merely shook his head, a heavy frown on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had fallen into Tolkien’s world a couple years ago, after simply tripping over the root of an old tree in the park. You’d landed in the middle of nowhere, and had had to wander around until you found civilization.

The rebuilt city of Dale was where you ended up, and you immediately went to searching for someone who could tell you where you were, where you could get food and shelter, things like that. The curiosity that was you ended up drawing the attention of King Bard, previously Bard the bowman. 

He had felt a sting of pity towards you, as you were in obvious need of help, and you reminded him of his daughters, particularly his eldest. Sigrid was only a few years younger than you, so the two of you bonded pretty quickly. 

Bard took you in, and helped you get work at a small kiosk in Dale’s market. Everything was great for a while, but you constantly felt like something was missing. You were used to a boring 9-5 job and not having much else to look forward to but for many years you had had sword fighting lessons. 

Your teacher, Master Zhang Xue Chao, had taught you the ways of the Wudang sword for 10+ years, and you had quickly mastered the art. Your daily practicing was something you missed greatly, and eventually you asked Bard to help you forge the weapon you loved so much. He did, and made one for himself as well, and you decided to teach him how to swordfight the way you knew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thorin strolled along the plains outside Dale, Dwalin right by his side as his bodyguard, should anything happen. They exchanged a few words here and there, but they kept it to a minimum so that Thorin could have time and silence to think about how he would deal with the absence of a queen.

The King under the mountain looked up across the span of ground to see two figures, a woman in a red dress with a strange looking sword, and a figure who was farther away, walking towards her on the light dusting of snow.

“’S that Bard?” Dwalin grunted, and Thorin nodded.

“I think so.”

Bard finally met the woman toe to toe, and they began to spar, their feet moving in the most beautiful dance of swordsmanship either of the dwarf warriors had ever seen. Every movement was fluid, precise, and calculated.

After a while of fighting, Bard managed to disarm the woman, her sword clattering to the ground. He walked off, and she slowly bent to pick up her sword, walking off in the opposite direction towards Dale. 

“Who is that woman?” Thorin asked incredulously, his eyes trained on her flowing (h/c) hair.

Dwalin shrugged, “Why don’t you find out?” He figured this mystery woman was Thorin’s One, as he had never in his life seen his best friend look at anyone the way he was looking at her now.

Thorin nodded, and briskly took off in the receding woman’s direction, hoping with all of his soul that he might be able to meet her.

He caught up to her once the both of them entered the city of Dale, and attempted to tap her shoulder without startling her. “Excuse me, miss?”

Surprisingly enough, she didn't whip around or jump or squeal, but merely turned back towards him. “Yes?”

“I uh…I..um-” For once in his life, Thorin Oakenshield had no words. The beauty of the woman up close was absolutely breathtaking, like nothing he had ever seen, in neither elf nor dwarrowdam. 

“Is there something you’d like to say or are you just going to stare at me like I have three eyes, Your Majesty?” she asked saucily with a hint of a smirk on her cherry red lips.

Thorin blinked and found his ability to speak once more. “My apologies, madam, I was..simply taken aback by your astounding beauty.”

The audacious statement caused a heated blush to rise up her cheeks, and she lowered her head with a smile. “Well I must say, that is very flattering of you, Your Highness,” she murmured.

Thorin grinned; it was nice to see his words were having a positive affect on her. “I also wish to tell you that your swordsmanship is incredible, unlike anything I have ever seen,” he continued, much calmer now.

“Well, thank you,” she looked up again, and put her hand on Thorin’s, which was still rested on her shoulder. “Nice to know I have an admirer…even if it is from across an empty field, watching me spar.”

They both busted out into laughter, and began to walk throughout the market together, talking and getting to know each other.

Many months went by, and Thorin finally worked up the courage to tell her that she was his One. (Y/n) pounced on the opportunity to tell him that she felt the same way, and they immediately put in courting braids and beads.

Not three months later the couple married, and (Y/n) became the Queen under the mountain, never once regretting her decision. 

I guess happy ever after does exist after all.

[airagorncharda]

My reply to a post got REAL long, so I’m just putting it here and sending them a link

@gretchensinister

[your post]

Goddddd this got so long, sorry!

You said you’d be up for opening that can of worms, so here’s my input!

Like TJ, I'm wary of the advice of "just make mpregs about trans dudes!" because (as a trans guy) that feels like it falls into the problem of fetishizing us/our bodies, in that it diminishes us to the sum of our physical parts, and ignores that lots of trans guys (especially during/post transition) cannot get pregnant, and ignores that most trans guys (or at least all the trans guys I’ve met) find the idea of getting pregnant very dysphoric and unpleasant. "Just write mpreg about trans dudes” also falls into the trap of allowing/encouraging women who are not queer and who are fetishizing/commodifying queer male bodies for their own sexual escapism to do minimal research before writing trans people, which usually just results in bad writing. 

So I’m WARY of it. 

That being said, I've never gotten the impression that the way YOU would write a trans character would be shallow like that. You give all of your characters deep thought and consideration as people, which automatically means you’re not diminishing them to sexual objects. Your description of your own fic verifies that for me, personally. 

I don't know any trans men who want to get pregnant, but they DO exist, and I DO find it conceptually interesting to read about trans guys where that’s something they would want. 

For me personally, I’m more inclined to say “consider that trans people exist when you decide to write mpreg” than TJ is, because for me I’d prefer to get a higher quantity of fic written about trans people, even if lots of it is garbage. People won’t learn to write us better if they never write us at all. So for me, I definitely don’t want to tell people NOT to, and I AM interested in the subject, I’m just also aware that most depictions of trans men + pregnancy are going to be gross and fetishistic. 

There’s a whole history around mpreg (which is similar to the A/B/O tropes and the seme/uke yaoi bullshit) that’s basically cis women reinforcing misogynistic heteronormative relationship dynamics-- but on TWO MEN (gasp!)!! instead of on a m/f relationship. It’s catharsis, because they can explore the ins-and-outs of the shitty social situation they’re stuck in without it actually being about THEM for once, but unfortunately it has the effect of fetishizing queer male bodies in harmful ways. The mpreg thing is... also just cissexist and gross on that level, which is why for me, encouraging SOME LEVEL of acknowledgement that there actually ARE men who can get pregnant feels important. 

The other half of it though is that I’ve literally never seen someone write a trans woman who is magically able to get pregnant just because she wants to. People are willing to write cis men who are able to get pregnant for 50million nonsense reasons (and really, I used to be into mpreg, so I can assure you that the explanations for how it works are incredibly diverse and thought out, and NONE of them make much sense), but nobody seems willing to give that level of consideration, thought, and care to a trans woman character. 

The fact that I’ve never seen anyone say “I wrote a fic where a trans woman gets pregnant and lives happily ever after” but I’ve seen an UNBELIEVABLE number of fics about cis men getting pregnant, and also a lot of people being like “just write trans men getting pregnant because after all trans men are just women with different pronouns, right?!” (again, it doesn’t sound like that’s what you did, but I’ve seen other people doing that) says a lot about how these people are really thinking about trans people. They aren’t writing about us to write about us, they’re writing about us to write about THEM, but in a fetishistic escapist way that is harmful. 

Overall I think it can be done, and I personally would like to see more of it, but I’m 1) not holding my breath that most people are going to do it, and 2) definitely not holding my breath that they’ll get it right if they do.

On to your original question:

Are cisswaps fine? ... I mean... I think the answer is just “Yes” but also “some people go about it in gross ways, which is not fine” with a side of “people use the term ‘genderswap’ when they mean ‘cisswap’ and that’s transphobic and ignorant”

I don’t think there’s anything WRONG with the idea of just rewriting a cis man as a cis woman. 

The problem comes in with how people handle it. I’ve seen a few versions of this going really wrong really fast (and honestly I don’t think I’ve seen any of them from you, nor would I expect to). Off the top of my head in no particular order:

1) Making queer pairings straight, aka hetswapping:

Specifically I saw a LOT of this in the Hobbit fandom with Bilbo/Thorin fics. The fandom actually seemed to have more m/f [cis man thorin + cisswapped cis woman bilbo] than it had of them in their original forms (and of course it had WAY higher of both than of f/f cisswapped femslash, or of either of them as trans). 

While some authors do this sort of thing justice, and the occasional m/f cisswap fic isn’t bad, there’s a big problem with hetswapping. Basically that’s where the writer decides “I like this pairing except for that pesky sinful queerness. Lets fix that right up!” and makes them not only a m/f pairing, but also both inexplicably hetero. This is --phobic and erasure of all queer identities that can produce m/f relationships, and it’s just queerphobic in general for obvious reasons. 

And again, when tropes like this inundate a fandom with such force that they utterly overwhelm the other fic... there’s something screwy going on.

2) Everyone be gay men. Everyone.

All the women in the story get cisswapped to be dudes, so that everybody can be fetishized equally.

Literally this is just an excuse to write bad fetishistic penis/penis porn, and it’s pretty much always rife with aggressive sexism and queerphobia.

3) Complete physical makeover.

Beefy masculine male character submitted to the cisswap machine? Enjoy your thin, busty, long haired femm with a completely different body type and facial structure. She likes makeup and boys and she’s clumsy. 

Basically this is just people not comprehending that people are people, that changing someone’s gender doesn’t need to change that much about them, and that the biology of cis men and the biology of cis women is... not that different. Society has a huge effect on how people grow up, including how much they eat and what they feel comfortable wearing, etc. 

I know you know all this, just saying again-- there’s a ton of reasons why this form of cisswap is sexist and cissexist and gross. 

What you were mentioning about making cisswaps where the characters are mostly physically unchanged? Honestly I love that idea. Not enough people do it. More often than that, I’ve seen people do that same design for trans characters, which makes honestly LESS sense to me, because trans people are usually forced to be much more performative with gender expression than cis people. Also, always writing/drawing trans women as being “obviously” dmab, and trans men as being “obviously” dfab is gross and transphobic. Writing/drawing CIS people who don’t fit the expected physical binary is way more underdone and very needed. 

Basically, ultimately I don’t think it’s cisswaps that are the problem, I think it’s how they’re handled. A lot of people handle them badly, which has left a bad taste in a lot of people’s mouths in regards to them, and that might be why you’d encounter someone who HATES them or who they make really uncomfortable. It’s not a matter of them being inherently bad, so much as there being a lot more bad examples than good ones.

Again, sorry this became like a dissertation instead of a reply. I figured since you were hoping to have a conversation about it, I should really put all my thoughts down. ^__^

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Purposeful *smut*

Thorin x Reader x Fili

Smut, I hope it's any good. @lilith15000

Would love some more threesome smut. Thorin and Fili. Would love a unique way they would either meet their one or they show unique flirting styles that makes her flustered and turns her on- and they notice. ---lilith15000 tumblr

If someone were to tell you today that you would find yourself in a compromising and much less than innocent position with the King of Erebor and his oldest nephew, you would probably laugh it off and subtly call for help since there is something wrong with that person- but apparently it's not quite as farfetched as you thought it would be. 

Now, let me rewind for a second since you must be curious and probably very confused. 

It all started that day when Gandalf propositioned you and your dearest brother Bilbo to join him and some dwarves on an adventure to reclaim some mountain with a dragon or whatever in it. You, being you, really wanted to go and accepted the conditions right away, though Bilbo was much more apprehensive to go along with any of it. 

He argued and asked what you would even do, but Gandalf filled in an explanation for you. "Well, she'll be our healer of course. What else?" 

The two of you ultimately did end up going on this adventure, and you were lucky enough to become pretty close with the eldest of Thorin's two nephews. 

You're rather fond of him for your own reasons, but you keep it strictly to yourself and don't dare to let anyone else know of your less than friendly feelings that you've caught. 

And honestly, you're mostly convinced that you're not the only one to be feeling in such a way considering the way that he flirts with you so shamelessly. 

For example, night after night Fili insists that you share his sleeping area with you, and he's constantly making jokes and advancing jokes just to see you flush. 

"M-My hands are freezing..." You had stuttered one night.

Fili wasted no time in replying rather slyly, "Perhaps if I hold it then I can warm you?" 

Small things like this and not so subtle touches are what make you assume he likes you. He also insisted that he teach you how to fight himself, and it seems to you that he's only using it as an excuse to get closer to you. 

Eventually, he does build up the courage to tell you that he's interested, and quickly following that is some more than PG-13 stuff if you catch my drift. 

Little did you know at the time, though, that he isn't the only one who's had their eyes on you, for a certain King has set his sights in a very similar area, and his nephew was very aware of this fact.

They discussed it, and Thorin approached you at one point to tell you as such, and now you're caught in an odd place. Your heart is with Fili, but you can't help but to think of Thorin in a less than innocent way as well. 

You did end up kissing the to-be king a few times, and while it's not like Fili doesn't know you do still feel odd. 

You're caught between the two of them, and you feel no little amount of shame when you have a moment to think about it all. 

---

You're absentmindedly wandering through the trees while everyone gets settled in for the night when Fili first approaches you, a bright smile on his face and determination in his eyes.

Right away you know he's going to ask to teach you some more stuff, and while you don't particularly feel up to it at the moment, you know he'll still convince you to agree.

"Y/N, here you are. I was wondering if you wanted to fight with me?" 

You look at him distrustfully and ask cooly, "Are we actually going to fight or are you just going to turn it into another one of your... inappropriate games?" 

He smiles wolfishly at the implications behind your words but doesn't deny it, "I'm not sure yet, do you want to find out?" 

The deadpan look you give him only makes him smile brighter, and, eventually, you relent and sigh wearily, "Fine, but promise to actually teach me something, this time." 

"I can certainly do that. Now, take out your sword and come stand by me." He tells you right away, drawing his own from its sheath with the usual excited glint for combat in his eyes. 

Without hesitation you draw your sword and move to stand in front of him, tapping your foot against the ground a few times while you wait. 

"Good girl." He purrs, reaching up with his free hand to tap your nose gently. 

"Ah, stop that!" You grumble, swatting his hand away before stepping away and raising your sword, getting into proper stance, "You promised to teach me, first." 

"Not first, I didn't." He challenges, raising his own with that same battle-hungry gleam sparkling in his, usually, soft blue eyes. 

You wait for him to charge you first, and when he does his movements are slower than usual (he always fights with no more than half effort since you're still just a beginner) and he's less guarded. 

As soon as he does, you raise your sword and they clash together with a loud clanking noise, and you push forward to try and knock him off balance, but he only slides his blade away and swipes at your side.

You jump away from the slow and controlled blow (he's always extremely careful to not hurt you) and just barely raise your weapon in time to block yet another slash, arms trembling under the power behind his hold on his weapon. 

He's got you in a pretty impossible position at the moment (it's only been a few seconds too), and you aren't quite sure what to do. 

He's leaning over you with your blades crossed, and you know that you won't be able to keep up against him for too long in this battle of strength, so you jerk your crossed swords to the side and duck the other way, dropping your weapon in the process unfortunately. 

It clangs to the ground and the dwarf allows his to follow suit, turning on you with no weapon either. 

He then starts to chase you around the clearing, and you kinda just run around in circles, dodging and weaving between trees to keep him from grabbing you.

"Fili!" You shriek when he almost gets a hold of your arm, twirling out of the way and running around another large tree. 

"Mahal-" He huffs, panting quietly since you're much too fast for him to keep up with. 

All you really have to do is wait him out, you realize, so you continue your scampering and end up taunting him. "Am I too fast?" You call with an excited gleam in your eyes, feeling joyful when he glares at you and lunges towards you once more.

"Stay still, damn it!" He growls when he only catches air once more, frustration beginning to fuel his movements. 

You begin to giggle and titter when he becomes more competitive and determined to take you down, but unfortunately your overconfidence betrays you and makes you blind, for your foot gets caught on a root and you fall forward with flailing arms.

Mere seconds after you trip is Fili pouncing on top of you, his arms locking yours against your side while sitting on your lower back (though he does use his knees to keep most of his weight off of you). 

"Ughhh," you gripe and groan with a mixture of irritation and discomfort, but you don't bother trying to get him off you since he's so damn heavy. 

Fili leans over you, his chest pressing against your back, and slides his forearms to rest on either side of your head, his nose pressing into your hair while he chuckles lowly, "You got arrogant, love." 

A pout forms on your lips instantly at his observation of your downfall, and while he's right, it still annoys you. 

You turn your head to the side and look up at him with one eye, your cheek pressing against the grass while whine, "It's not fair!"

"Why's it not fair?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, eyeing you with amusement in his gaze.

"B-Because!" 

"Because why?" 

"Because you always win! And you know you'll always win." You grumble, shifting your arms up to rest under your head. "You also didn't teach me anything." 

A smirk slides onto his face as he sits up, relieving some of his weight off of you by lifting himself on his knees, but he doesn't get off you like you thought he would and instead only flips you over onto your back. "I taught you a lesson in humility." 

"Humility?" You snort at his words and roll your eyes, reaching up to pinch both his cheeks, "You're the most boastful and swanky fighter in this whole group! There's no way I could learn humility from the likes of you." 

When your fingers pinch and prod at his face he glowers at you, reaching up to crush both your hands in his and press them down to the grass by your head, "Awfully bold words from a hobbit who just ate dirt." 

"I'd like to see you clamber around in these big feet of mine." You shoot back, still pouting at him for rubbing salt in the wound. 

"I'm sure it's much harder that it looks." He hums, leaning over you to begin trailing kisses along your jaw. 

While it's a nice feeling that you don't much want to go away, though, you were made a promise. "Hey! I thought you said you would teach me something!" 

"I already did." He repeats in a whispers next to your ear, pressing a quick kiss to the shell of your ear before sliding his hands along your sides (thus releasing your hands). "Come on now, love, are you telling me that you're not interested in me at all right now?" 

You don't reply right away since you're kinda stuck in an internal debate. Of course, you do want him, but at the same time you want him to properly teach you something this time around. 

Eventually, your desire does win out against your interest in becoming a better fighter, so you tangle your hands up in his hair and tug his head down so your lips may meet. 

He wastes no time in claiming your lips in a heated lip-lock, his body covering your own while his hands slide up into your tunic and go straight to your chest. 

With careful movements you tug and curl your fingers into his hair, tugging at it by the roots while his tongue slides against your own. 

"Y-You better not rip my shirt." You warn muffledly into the kiss when you feel his hands begin to bunch up into the cloth of your tunic, and while he does loosen his grip he also complains. 

"You're always so touchy about the clothes." He grumbles, pulling away from you so he can discard your shirt properly. 

"Well, I don't much fancy the idea of walking around the others bare-chested." You gripe, adding after, "But if you really want me to-"

He grabs your waist with slightly harsh fingers, the scowl on his face betraying his disdain for your teasing speech, "Fine, fine. I see your point." He concedes, grabbing the hem of his own shirt to pull it up over his head, reaching down with one arm to lift you up slightly so he can lay his shirt out underneath you. 

After he's got something to separate your soft skin from the harsh, dirty ground he lays you back down and removes your bindings with skilled and ever familiar movements and dips his head down to begin pressing kisses along the expanse of your chest. 

You reach up and wrap your arms around his head, keeping him pressed to your chest while he leaves open-mouthed kisses and bites on and around your collarbone, making his way down to your left breast while his hands descend upon the right. 

The heat that envelopes your areola when he wraps his lips around your nipple makes a shiver run up your spine, and you bend your legs and press your feet firmly against the ground while he lays on you between your legs. The feeling of him pressing up against you while he sucks and bites at your sensitive chest fills you with heat from head to toe, and when you feel that ever present heat begin to pool between your legs, you know you're done for. 

The fingers of his opposite hand work their way into your trousers and immediately delve into your awaiting heat, enjoying the way you shift and start to gasp and keen enthusiastically. 

He pulls away from you altogether way too soon for your liking and moves so your legs press together between his, and he tugs at your trousers and pulls them down your legs without hesitation. 

As soon as you're bare before him he pushes two of his fingers into you again and bites and licks at your neck, his other arm holding him up so he's no longer laying on you. 

You briefly open your eyes to get a look at Fili when movement catches the corner of your eye. 

Right away you look towards said movement, though you don't say anything to Fili, and meet the heated gaze of Thorin. 

Honestly, you don't know what to do in that moment, but oddly enough you feel a fresh wave of heat wash over you at the look in his eyes and find that you don't feel panicked or anything like you probably should. 

Your gaze is ripped away from him when Fili presses his thumb to your clit, however, and your eyes squeeze shut as you whimper softly in need. 

Fili pauses suddenly, his head resting between your breasts as he calls suddenly, "Uncle, if you're just going to stand there then at least do so where she can't see you." 

You freeze at his acknowledgement of Thorin and look down at him in surprise, glaze flickering over to Thorin and then back again at his blond nephew. 

"No, no, don't stop because of me." He replies easily, not moving from his spot just ahead of you, "Truthfully, I did not expect to stumble across something like this during my walk." 

"Well, you've certainly stuck around for a while." Fili replies, sitting up slowly with his fingers exiting from you.

You look between the two of them with a flaming face, caught between a state of confusion and embarrassment. "Y-You knew he was there?" You stutter out embarrassedly, looking up at Fili while he straddles your hips. 

Fili looks down at you with a raised eyebrow, "I did, and so did you, but you didn't say anything." 

Your embarrassment increases tenfold at his mention of you not alerting him to his uncles presence, "I-I... Uh-" 

A smile spreads across his face when you start to stutter and become more flustered, and right away he reaches down and caresses your cheek, "I'm only teasing, love, now relax." He tells you quietly, trailing his hand down from your cheek to your neck, then down to your ribs. 

"C-Can someone please tell me what's going on here?" You ask incredulously, looking between the two of them again, "I'm confused." 

The blond-haired dwarf leans down and whispers softly next to your ear, "You don't mind if my uncle joins us, do you? It's nothing he hasn't seen before." He's talking about you, and you immediately feel ashamed. 

Well that's surprising, but certainly not unwelcome at the moment despite your internal guilt. 

"U-Uh, I guess not..." You mumble apprehensively, noting the way he frowns as concern flashes across his face. 

"Nobody will be upset if you do not want to." He reminds just as sweetly. "It may seem otherwise, but you're in control here." 

"No, no I do...Maybe it'll be fun?" 

A smile spreads across his face at your admission of wanting it, and he sits up right after and looks back over at his uncle, "I told you she would be fine with it, now stop hovering- it's unnerving." He jokes, going back to kiss you while also still leaving you with another question.

They talked about this before? 

Instead of harping on it you just return the kiss and run your fingers up into his wild mane of hair, listening as Thorin approaches, nerves alight with anticipation of what's going to happen next. 

Fili retracts from your lips after a moment and settles at your neck, and as soon as Fili is gone a new ever familiar pair hands cup your cheeks.

Your attention is directed to Thorin, and a smile works its way onto your face right away, "H-Hi." You stutter, pressing your forehead against his.

He returns the smile and greeting, "Hello." And then surges forward and presses his lips firmly against yours. 

No time is wasted on your part in returning the slightly harsher kiss, one of your hands flying up to bury in his dark hair while Fili's hands wander along the length of your body. 

Fili's hand finds your awaiting heat once more and right away he resumes his actions from back before Thorin interrupted him, his fingers sliding into your slick heat with little difficulty. 

You start to tug at Thorin's coat while he continues to 'smother' you in heated kisses and gentle touches along your chest and stomach, so he pauses that and shrugs off his jacket; his shirt following soon after.

Yes, you've had them both in the past, but never at the same time, and all of your senses are alight with want and anticipation for what is to come. 

Thorin's hair is slightly tangly as you card your fingers through them, one of your other hands slipping down to run along his chest while Fili pumps his fingers faster inside of you. 

"F-Fili..." You call softly, squeezing your eyes shut as your ministrations on Thorin pause. 

Said dwarf raises his head from your neck and offers you a wolfishly dashing smile, his other hand coming up to caress your cheek lightly. 

Fili removes his hand from you again, and when you whine from the loss of contact he chuckles and grabs you by your thighs, lifting you up slightly so you'll sit up. 

Thorin pulls away and looks at Fili with a raised eyebrow, though he doesn't move to stop him and only waits. 

Fili slowly lays back and continues to look at you, urging in his ever husky and sexy voice, "Come along, gehyith*, take a seat." *little dove

Your face floods with fresh redness and warmth from what he's asking you to do, and while it's very tempting, you can't help but to glance over at Thorin who is looking at you with the same amount of lusting heat. When all he does is watch, though, you go ahead and do as Fili urged and climb over him, settling on his chest with a nervous smile on your face.

He returns the smile tenfold, then grabs your thighs and pulls you so your awaiting sex is much closer; and, without further hesitation, he attaches his mouth to your clit. 

You lean forward slightly and place your hands on the grassy ground, closing your eyes with furrowed brows as you moan and gasp in a very pleased manner. 

His mustache and beard rub against your skin slightly uncomfortably, but the discomfort mixed with the undeniable pleasure he gives you make for a wonderful combination. 

Suddenly, in the midst of your hazy mind you remember Thorin is there as well, and you glance back and see that he has removed his trousers and is looking at your face with a very heated expression. 

"C-Come here." You coax with a bit of a stutter, legs twitching and tensing when Fili scrapes his teeth against your sensitive nub down below. 

Thorin, of course, does not dither and settles next to the both of you, his hand immediately fisting in your hair as he brings you down to kiss him once more. 

Your moans are muffled and swallowed into the passionate kiss between you and the dark-haired dwarf, and you reach down and grasp him firmly in your hand, committing the way he tenses and grunts to memory. 

A couple of times you rock your hips down against Fili, but that ends quickly when he grabs your thighs and holds you in place, taking exactly what he wants while also giving you everything you need. 

When your struggles to catch your breath become a problem, you pull away from the kiss and nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, still gliding your hand up and down the length of him as you draw more groans and pleased words from Thorin. 

He begins to shift suddenly when your cautious strokes lessen and gasping increases, and then he stands and looks as if he's about to move away and await his proper turn. 

You don't much like that, though, so before he can move away (if that was even what he was planning on doing in the first place) you grab his hips and press your face to his hip, stroking your hand up lightly along his side as broken moans and gasps leave from your parted lips. 

After you've regained some of your composure, you reach up and grasp his twitching and very hard cock and start to gently stroke it much like before, turning your head to wrap your lips around the crown of his very kingly erection. 

Thorin's hands fly to your hair and he grabs you with both of his hands, his pleasure becoming more prominent at having your mouth on him mixed with the needy and desiring moans that vibrate throughout your mouth. 

Your name tumbles from his lips and his hold on your head tightens as you bring more of him into your mouth, your thighs tense under Fili's harsh hold. 

Almost right away does Thorin begin to direct your movements by moving your head along, his hips occasionally jutting forward a bit when his hips spasm. 

One of your hands ended up fisted in Fili's hair at some point as well, and your knees are pressed into either side of his head. You probably would've crushed his head by now if it weren't for the fact that the blond was holding onto your thighs so tightly. 

You can feel your release quickly approaching and so your moans grow more frequent, the mere feeling of Fili's hot tongue delving into you is enough to rid you of all rational thought. 

Your nails lightly scratch at Fili's scalp when his teeth scrape against you once again, and a resounding groan is his response to your head scratching. 

Thorin's guiding of your head becomes fast as he too grows closer to his release, and he begins to breathe soft praises and words in Khuzdul. 

A minute or so after, Thorin spends himself into your mouth with a few curses, his fingers pushing some of your hair out of your face while his other hand grazes down your cheek carefully. 

Your breaths come out in short loud pants mixed with the higher-pitched whines of pleasure that leave you, and a few moments later you start to tense and your eyes squeeze shut. 

You cry their names as you reach your end and your fingers tangled in Fili's hair gently yank at it by the roots. 

The rapid rising and falling of your chest as you struggle to regain your breath as well as the quiet pants from Thorin are the only noises in the clearing at the moment. 

Slowly you lean back and rest your hands on the ground on either side of Fili's laying form, arms shaking slightly as you try to catch your breath (you also forget for a moment that you're sitting on Fili).

Fili reaches up and grabs your hips, lifting you up a bit so he can slide up to a seated position while wiping his face with a big grin on his lips. 

You look at him with hot cheeks and a sheepish expression on your face, seeing right away that he's painfully hard and straining against his trousers. 

The blond dwarf leans forward and pecks your cheek, looking over at his uncle who has seated himself on the ground just a few inches away from you both with the same pleased look on his face. 

You're tired, yes, but Fili is still waiting for a turn and if you saw right, Thorin wasn't sated properly in the first place. 

With careful and slightly shaky movements you reach up and cup Fili's cheeks, going in to kiss him again before he places his hand on your chest and keeps you back, "Don't worry about me, gehyith, take a break." He urges in a quiet voice, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips.

"Are you s-sure?" You ask softly, skimming your fingers down his cheek gently. 

"I'm sure." He tells you softly, glancing over at Thorin with a raised eyebrow. 

"I'm sure as well, clearly. Come." He gestures for you to come closer and once you do, he wraps his arms around you gently and has you lay back against his chest, your feet coming up to rest on Fili's still clothed legs. 

"We're perfectly content with waiting."