#this is ingrained behavior in those who dont have them and its extremely obvious in every scenario youre not special and unnoticeable

[bma-2020]

the most astounding thing to me is watching people hate one older character for the exact same development they love a younger different character for

[iamthescalesofjustice]

do not have the focus rn to write the whole post in a satisfying way, but know that if i was in dragon age they would try to put me in a circle and make me tranquil, bc of my Symptoms and Behaviors. but that making me tranquil would not work out the way they want, bc 

1) it wouldnt even do that much about my symptoms and behaviors, bc many of them have little to nothing to do with emotions

1b) it wouldnt even severely impede me, bc i have decades of experience functioning through extreme depressive episodes, dissociative states, executive functioning problems, etc and i have been in extremely bad and toxic and punishing environments without chance of escape before and if it didnt make me compromise my principles then, neither would the tower

1c) if anything, and i am speaking from experience with my own altered states here, being unable to feel shame or fear or sorrow, would consequently dramatically reduce my capacity for things like hesitation and doubt, which are fueled partially by emotions but which are not quite emotions themselves. this would actually reduce my impulse control a lot, with only stuff like the fact that anger and annoyance and restlessness and excitement and giddiness and bloodlust not being there either to help balance it out. 

2) the fact that ‘everyone knows’ the tranquil are ‘incapable of using magic’ and ‘basically just soulless automatons’ would be possibly the most effective shield ever. their own brainrot from their own ingrained propaganda would make them blind to my schemes

2b) see the fact that people commonly think the tranquil cannot feel pain despite being outright told, by tranquil, that they can

2c) or the fact that mages can be made tranquil for using, or being suspected of  using, blood magic. obviously some of these mages get killed rather than made tranquil, but mages can and do get killed over anything and everything regardless of the reason. if it was commonly realized that tranquil mages can use blood magic, it wouldnt be used in these cases and they would all be killed instead. 

2cii) yes, tranquil mages can use blood magic. this should be obvious to anyone who thinks about it for a second, but apparently its not. 

2ciib) tranquil can also use runes btw. obviously. if those needed a connection to the fade to use then dwarves would not have invented them or be able to use them. 

2ciic) i also think dwarves could probably use blood magic if they had the chance to learn. possibly there is a subsection of the dwarven population that would be equivalent to mages, and they could do it but not the others, but nobody knows exactly because this kind of stuff just isnt being explored yet. 

2ciid) i also think that across all species ability to use magic is more of a spectrum than a solid yes/no and there probably a lot of people whose capacity for magic falls below the flashier threshold of what most of southern thedas seems to think of as ‘mage’ or manifests in a different way. this includes the people who get approved to become templars because there apparently is some kind of innate trait they look for in the people they are willing to train to use templar abilities, which are definitely a form of magic. 

2d) aside from the sheer stigma, the biggest practical downside of blood magic is that it can dampen the casters connection to the fade, making their ability to use the normal sort of magic weaker or less reliable. for someone whose connection to the fade is already shut down, this is a nonissue. 

2dii) the second biggest issue with blood magic is the need to draw on a source, typically either the caster themself or other living beings. personally, i dont think theres any real ethical problem with using yourself for blood magic, and the problem of using others is far less pressing when you have, say, a bunch of templars around to drain instead. 

3) they literally have books you can learn blood magic from without ever needing to talk to a denizen of the fade. the tower top brass put those books in their own fucking library. as a plant to get unwary mages. 

3b) i am excellent at learning from books. 

3c) if pressed about why i am reading a book about blood magic, i can answer that theres no reason for me not to. now that i ‘cant use magic’, theres no danger in me learning the theory. knowledge is valuable for its own sake. 

3cii) this has the benefit of being mostly true, even. and not feeling smugness or excitement or anger means i would be more easily able to say things with a straight face and not have roiling emotions give me away. 

4) if i were a tranquil who could do blood magic and i saw a templar menacing a mage in an otherwise-empty corner of a tower i would puppet that asshole over to the stairs and make them trip themself down it so their death looked like an accident

4b) and then when the mage looked at me like something other than a piece of creepy walking furniture for the first time in maybe years i would simply say “youre welcome. also, neither of us were here, and no one will ever believe you” and calmly walk away

[roughentumble]

DISCLAIMER I PROBABLY PULLED ALL OF THIS OUT OF MY ASS AND ITS PROBABLY A BAD INTERPRETATION BUT ITS MINE SO BACK OFF

SORRY. IDK WHY I SUCK AT EVALUATING THIS MOVIE IN PARTICULAR imo, theres a LOT of emphasis put on control. they talk about dictatorships, how they repress both art/culture, AND knowledge/learning. i'm gonna avoid talking about what i think Really Happened, because i havent entirely worked that out for myself, but for themes and what they represent and why this story's being told... i think it's largely a meditation on the ways we're repressed by society at large, our smaller and more insular social groups, and the closest relationships with loved ones(so essentially, the world at large and at every level of interpersonal relationship and society in general) we're given a tale of two physically identical people to illustrate two extremes in behavior and personality, and how the same outside forces conspire in the same way to tear them apart, tear them down, and force them into roles they dont want to inhabit. it also forcibly strips them from their individuality, their personhood, and their self expression- they will never be a single, unique person ever again, because they will always know there's someone else out there wearing their face. going back to the extremes in behavior n such... it's easy to be an academic and look at someone who is an actor, or an artist, and think of them as the penultimate in self-expression and personal freedom. but at the same time, if you're a creative it's easy to look at someone in a more stable, academic or scientific role and think that they have more freedom to be themselves, in that they dont need to constantly maintain an Artsy Appearance to Stay Relevant n such. they can literally just be who they are, and if they have no inspiration they can just go back to work until true inspiration strikes. but thats ultimately not true, because NO ONE is allowed true self expression. neither of these men are allowed to be their authentic selves!! the teacher spends nights drinking wine and plowing his fuckbuddy, sure, but it's PASSIONLESS, it's rote and he's sick of it but he has nothing else. everyone(including his own mother) tells him he has a good apartment, a great career, he should be happy and thankful for what he has, but what he has doesnt FULFILL him. but he keeps doing it anyway, because it's the narrative society's constructed for him, the Correct Life Path. he's miserable, and trying to communicate so gets him shut down and told there's something wrong with him. he's held to the expectations of that life, whether he wants it or not and the actor man sees his casual fuck buddy and his complete lack of immanent baby-having and sees him as the pinnacle of freedom, because this isnt the life he wanted for himself either. anthony's miserable, he feels trapped, and he has no outlet to escape into the life he WANTS to live. he wants to be single, he wants to drink and fuck and he absolutely doesnt want a baby. he doesnt want to be a father. also, it's interesting to note how adam steps into anthony's life at the end. they both look the same because they're both put under the same pressure to conform to society's expectations, and he's capable of putting on a persona and playacting as anthony, but it's as fake and miserable and heavy as his last one. and it only brings to light how REPLACEABLE he is. even in anthony's death(assuming he died in that car crash), adam is STILL NOT GRANTED HIS OWN AUTONOMY! he still cant escape the knowlede that he's not his own person, he's a puppet of society who doesnt get to feel genuine joy or self determination because NONE OF THIS IS THE LIFE HE WANTED TO LIVE, but both are the life he's now forced to inhabit. so like.... lets talk about this from different levels. starting with the closest ring(wife, mother, best friend, other close relationships), then the second closest(work friends, neighborhood, social groups you choose to be part of like your local DnD group or soccar team or whatever your niche interest is), then the farthest ring(society as a whole) so. well actually maybe its fairly obvious, and i dont need to get into it??? hmm. well, obviously anthony feels trapped by his wife. he doesnt like that she's pregnant or that he's being tied down, and as much as adam isnt big on his current relationship, hes not exactly thrilled by the pregnant wife either, because of the way she represents a loss of self identity she shows how easily he can step into someone else's life to replace them, AND how easily he himself can be replaced, and how he can never truly be himself. she also imposes a lot of ideas of how he should be onto him. same with the mother, she's cruelly dismissive of adam's wants and desires and creative self expression, all in an attempt to love him and "look out for him"- because if he's financially stable then he's provided for and safe and that's all that matters. not his actual happiness, but rather how "safe" he is and how much she can pat herself on the back for having raised such a "respectful" child things turn awkward in adam's life whenever he expresses a dissenting opinion(he isnt a huge film fan, but most people are expected to have at least a passing interest in film, and when his coworker brings up films as a neutral topic and he expresses that he isnt a fan, it turns the conversation awkward and stilted until he's given a film to watch anyway, because that's the social expectation) what's funny though, is that despite their ultimately antagonistic relationship and the way they reflect a loss of individuality and personhood, the only reason they meet is because of the intersection of knowledge and culture, and they find in each other a sense of community, commiseration, and relatability. who do they understand instantly and intrinsically? who do they seek out? who do they actually SHOW THEIR TRUE EMOTIONS TO throughout the film? EACH OTHER. on the phone with each other for the first time, adam starts stumbling over his words and saying things in the worst possible way, and admits he only gets this way when he's excited, yet we never see him act like that again throughout the film... because nothing else EXCITES him he's excited by the thought of someone else understanding. of someone to commiserate with, to relate to. someone who feels what he feels. a sense of true community. and he gets that, but in doing so looses the one thing that he truly thought of as unique(viewing himself as one of the only- or at least the few- who felt stifled and lacking in true creative outlets in their lives) (i also think thats why anthony responds with more joy and amazement, because for him he's reassured by the communal feeling and the fact that even someone in a Respectable Job could feel that way, whereas adam is horrified because EVEN PEOPLE IN CREATIVE JOBS FEEL THAT WAY) society at large held them both down to such a startling degree that anthony viewed his wife as a spider, himself caught in a web of commitment, while adam felt every day blur together as he shambled through life in a daze, both steeped in misery. they hated their lives, lives imposed on them by a society that operates through subjugation and a suppression of individuality. and they both embodied one of the two major things you can use to combat such a society- and they were both held back and burdened by expectations specifically tailored to hold back those ideas, and keep that individuality from blossoming. but then adam's knowledge met with anthony's art/culture, and they were able to OPEN UP to one another. knowledge became aware of art, and together they forged themselves a small space to really try and feel what they felt and develop who they are as people, without all these expectations weighing them down and moulding them into people they didnt wanna be. and did they ultimately crash and burn(no pun intended)? yeah. they did. but they tried. and they only failed so spectacularly because of a society that wanted them to fail, that kept their emotional growth in that area stunted to keep them from ever rising up against these ingrained ideas that are ultimately harmful now, am i saying these were two good and pure men deserving only of nice things, who never made a mistake???? no. they were both huge assholes. i mean, anthony wanted to fuck adam's GF... WHILE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS ADAM. he tried to push her out a goddamn moving car. adam tried to fuck her while she was asleep at one point, and then fucked anthony's wife while SHE thought HE was anthony---- these are SHITTY PEOPLE. but i mean... i dunno, its, the point isnt to be about perfect people, but instead to show how badly all these limitations and expectations can fuck people up, leave them emotionally stunted and miserable, how it can lead to depression and a lack of identity or a sense of self... how it leads to tragedy, basically.