#this is incredibly vague but I wanted to introduce the idea

[purplecoffee13]

NFWMB - part 1

Summary: “Harry is a retired boxer who owns a gym and teaches self-defense classes. He considers himself a strong man, but when a gorgeous innocent woman attends a try-out class, she manages to leave him weak in the knees…”

Wc: 4.3k

Tropes: boxer!Harry x innocent!reader

Warnings: mentions of violence and SA

A/N: hello everyone! This is my new series NFWMB, named after one of Hozier’s most horny songs😄. I am so incredibly excited for this series omg it’s gonna be so good!!! If you don’t believe me, go listen to NFWMB and you’ll get a vague idea of what’s coming ;)

P.S. header = pov change

General Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Harry Styles was not one for regrets.

His life may not have turned the way he expected it to, but he was still proud of where he had come.

Being a professional boxer was a risky job, and Harry had known that when he had decided that it was going to be his career. But there was no other logical option. Harry was an exceptional boxer who was able to go pro at age 18, where he defeated a lot of men who were older and bigger than him.

It was his passion, it always had been. Which was something that was quite remarkable, especially to his closer family members, because Harry was anything but a violent person in his day to day life. He was quite reserved, and managed his temper very well. The years in the boxing ring did harden him quite a bit, his reserved nature developing into something more akin to stoicism.

Nevertheless, Harry loved boxing. It wasn't so much a fight to him, but more of a puzzle. Each opponent had its own made up riddle, and it was up to Harry to solve it as quick as possible. Much like a dance you learn the steps to along the way. A perfect combination of intuitive technique.

He hadn't planned on having to retire at the age of 27 already. It was supposed to be his peak; it had been for almost all boxers in history, and he was looking forward to how far he would be able to push his body during his prime.

He never got the opportunity to get an answer to those questions. A car accident got in the way.

He wouldn't have been able to stop it, he knew that, and he had forbidden himself from thinking about what could've happened had he not taken that specific road back home that horrible night. There was nothing he could do about it now, so there was no point in dwelling on it.

After a year of recovery, he was slowly able to get back into the rhythm of his old life again. Well, except for the boxing part. Knowing that his career in that field was over, he began thinking about some other options of his, and decided on fulfilling another dream of his: opening a gym.

He had always wanted to do it, but he always imagined to be retired by the time he would start on that.

Now, two years later, his gym was already in multiple locations, but Harry was still working at the first one he opened. He would visit the other ones every once in a while to see how everything was going, but he was mainly at the one nearest to his house. It was special to him, the place where it all started.

Despite running the place, and therefore not needing to be on location all the time, Harry was at the gym 24/7. He wasn't a personal trainer—wasn't really his style—but he would help people and teach self defense classes to women.

Every Thursday between 6 and 9, he would teach groups of ten women everything they needed to know on defending themselves from whatever threat they may run into. It was one of the things he was proudest of; the turn out at those classes. That these women put their trust in him, and let him help them become even tougher than they already were.

Tonight, after teaching the last group, Harry had gone to the bar with some of his friends. One of them was Sophie, a woman he had become friends with since she'd joined his self defense class. She was a great person with an impeccable sense of humor, and Harry was glad he had introduced her to Greg, his best friend. They were basically made for each other.

Harry had to admit that he envied his friend for the relationship he had. He was happy for them, but sometimes couldn't help but think that his lack of a partner was this one puzzle piece that would make his life even better. All in good time, he reminded himself.

"Hey," Sophie caught Harry's attention when she waved her hand in front of his face. His gaze shot to hers, eyebrows raised. "So, I was talking about your self defense class today at work. You know, promoting your business and all."

Harry chuckled at the cocky tone in which Sophie told her story, chin up high. He mumble a soft 'thanks', to which she grinned.

"You're welcome. Anyways, I have this new colleague and she seemed so intrigued by it, but she was too insecure about joining. I mean— she didn't outright say that, but I could just tell." She huffed, Greg rubbing her back. Sophie was a very happy person in general and wanted the best for everyone, this new colleague of hers included. Harry had the same habit, it's why he immediately suggested:

"Why don't you invite her along next week? A free try-out."

"But your try-out classes aren't for another two weeks." Sophie noted.

It was true. The self defense classes had become very popular, and since Harry taught them himself, he had scheduled one night of try-out classes a month. He was only able to take on so many people, but he didn't mind making this exception.

"She can join your regular class." Harry shrugged, and Sophie's eyes beamed with excitement.

"Thank you Harry!" She squealed happily, giving Greg a hug to channel her enthusiasm. "Oh, I hope she'll come along!"

"I'm sure she will." Harry assured her with a smile, and took another sip from his beer.

Y/N had never been one for risks.

She had never been the type of person to take the leap of faith, relying more on familiar feeling of security. Why risk hurting yourself when you could be safe and content?

It was the logic she had always operated with, the logic she had been taught from a very young age. Y/N had had a sheltered upbringing. Her parents wanted her and her little brother to be as safe as possible, and that was just fine to Y/N.

Her little brother was the more feisty one of the two, and his childhood consisted of a lot of fighting. It hurt Y/N to see the people she loved so much be so angry all the time, and it only motivated her to be as good as possible. She never drank, smoked, or went to parties. She turned in her homework early and got an A on almost every test. It did put a strain on her relationship with her brother, especially since Y/N's behavior would be used as ammunition towards him.

They still didn't talk all too much, but Y/N hoped that one day, she could repair that relationship again.

Moving a few towns away was a big deal for her parents, but the wonderful job she had gotten as a secretary at quite a prestigious law firm had made it all worth it. They helped her with moving into her apartment, but Y/N would regularly visit them on both weekdays and on the weekends. All in all, she'd had a safe, comfortable, content life.

Until a few months ago.

It was a Friday night, and Y/N had agreed to a date. One of the lawyers at the firm, Oscar, had been flirting with her ever since she started working there. Not wanting to be impolite, Y/N never outright rejected him, and so the flirting continued. She was a bit uncomfortable about it — especially since he was nearing his forties and she was only 23 — but figured the banter was part of the job. She was so shocked when he did ask her to go on a date, she said yes.

It wouldn't be too bad, she figured. She would just go on the date and tell him she wasn't interested afterwards. It could be casual, and no one would be too hurt. The date was definitely out of her carefully moderated comfort zone, but she would step out of it for one night.

The date was fine. Like she had expected, she wasn't interested in Oscar in a romantic way. Still, she listened to his stories, laughed right on cue at all his jokes, and told some of her own anecdotes as well. The dinner was great, and he even offered to walk her home.

They were nearing Y/N's apartment when Oscar had suddenly slowed down his walking pace. She only noticed when she was a few feet away from him, and walked back to where Oscar was standing.

"Are you okay? We're almost there, I promise." Y/N smiled politely, much like she did in the office. Oscar didn't say anything in response, only the corners of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly.

"You're so beautiful, do you know that?" He  complimented her, and Y/N looked at her feet, not quite knowing how to handle the flattery.

"Thank you." She said softly, and froze when Oscar's fingers tilted her chin upwards. Her eyes widened when he suddenly leaned in and put his mouth on hers. After the first few seconds of pure shock slowly passed, Y/N pulled her head back.

Not getting the hint, Oscar grinned and leaned in again, this time with both his hands on her face. Y/N let out a yelp, stumbling backwards. Her body's alarm bells were ringing so loudly, but Oscar must've been deaf to her body language because he backed her up against the wall and kept kissing her.

Y/N cried out as she tried to push Oscar off with her hands, but he only grabbed them and pinned them above her head. Finally, not knowing what else to do, she lifted her knee and kicked him right in the crotch. Oscar shot backwards, groaning loudly as his grip finally loosened on her. He looked incredibly angry.

"What the fuck?!" He bellowed, standing up straight again. Y/N's lip quivered, tears running down her face.

"You wouldn't stop." She said softly, almost in a whisper. Her entire body was shaking from the adrenaline. Oscar's mouth opened to say something, but the conversation got interrupted.

"Oscar!" A woman's voice shouted from down the street. He turned his head, and his face morphed from sheer rage into a lovely smile, the same one he always put up for Y/N back in the office.

"Sophie!" He said, but the mention of her name sounded strained. Sophie... Y/N recognized her name, but she hadn't ever met the woman. She was one of the three female lawyers at the firm. Had been working there for only five years, but her reputation was so badass, everyone knew who she was.

"What are you doing out tonight?" Sophie asked as she gave Oscar a hug, and turned to Y/N. "Who's this?"

"This is Y/N." Oscar replied. "She's a secretary at the firm."

"Nice to meet you." Y/N extended her hand, and Sophie shook it.

"Nice to meet you too! How come I've never seen you around?" She tilted her head.

"I— I work on a different floor."

"Well, I'm glad I met you, Y/N!" She said, the kindness in her tone being a real comfort after that scary moment she just had to live through. Somewhere in the way she said it, and in the way her eyes softened slightly, it almost felt like Sophie knew.

"I— I should go. It's getting pretty late." Y/N decided that this could be her sweet escape.

"Right, I'm gonna bring Y/N home." Oscar said, and your eyes shot to him. Anxiety filled your lungs until all you could breathe was fear. You didn't want to be alone with him. You had no idea what he would be able to do to you. What were you going to do about it? You weren't even half as strong as he was.

"Oh, which way is it?" Sophie asked, turning to Y/N, who was about to open her mouth but got interrupted by Oscar.

"That way." He pointed toward the direction of Y/N's house. Sophie side eyed her colleague, then nodded.

"Exactly the way I was going! Let's go." She hooked her arm into Y/N's, and began walking, ranting about how it was unacceptable that they didn't work on the same floor.

Y/N wordlessly nodded along, filled with gratefulness to Sophie or the universe—or both—for not leaving her alone with Oscar again.

She got home safely about five minutes later, not daring to look Oscar in the eyes as she hugged him and said goodbye, and she only allowed her tears to fall down her cheek when she closed her front door.

Y/N spent the rest of the weekend in bed, not in the mood to do anything. By Monday, she felt both better and worse. She had had some time to come down from the shock of what happened, but the terror that filled her at the realization that she was to see Oscar again, had her stomach turn. On Monday morning, she even got into work late as a result of a wave of nausea that hit her once she'd grabbed her keys, spending the time she used to drive to work to puke her guts out instead.

Later, she'd found out that Oscar had called in sick that day. It gave her some time and space to breathe. Sophie visited her the same day, and she hadn't stopped visiting since.

Oscar did eventually return to work, but they never talked anymore. Y/N didn't dare to look him in the eye, and she avoided him at all costs. One day, about two weeks after everything happened, she did see him waiting by her cubicle, but she hid in the toilet for half an hour and by the time she returned he was gone.

It had been two months since that horrible event, and Y/N had entirely isolated herself. Back to the normal routine, back to what was familiar. It gave her a sense of control. She was fragile, and sensitive. She had just pressed down her sadness and anxiety that lingered as a result from the date, and instead focused entirely on what she could control.

She figured it would be easier. Well, except for the mental breakdowns she'd get when something small didn't go right. The dishes not being cleaned, her vacuum not taking up every speck of dust; it just set her off. It wasn't healthy, but she had no idea how else to deal with these things.

When Sophie mentioned she was following self-defense classes a couple weeks ago, Y/N's ears had perked up. She tried to be subtle about it; asking questions to pry some information about the classes from her. But, being the amazing lawyer she was, it didn't go over Sophie's head, and before she knew it she had an invite to a class.

"See you next week!" Harry exclaimed as the last of the women from the 7pm class left the room. He was still busy putting everything back into place before the next class which would commence in about five minutes.

He was just about done with everything when Sophie walked in, another girl walking in close behind her. Harry couldn't really make up her face, as she stayed closely behind Sophie, even upon nearing him.

Sophie looked proud, probably feeling very accomplished about the fact that she had been able to convince this colleague of hers to take her up on her offer.

"Hey!" She greeted Harry cheerfully, giving him a quick hug. He was still smiling when he turned to the woman standing next to Sophie. His mouth went a bit dry when he took in her face.

"Harry, this is Y/N."

For starters, she was a bit shorter than Sophie, and quite frail too. Her hair was up in a ponytail, leaving her features to be admired out in the open. Her eyes were soft—radiating mostly insecurity at the moment—and wide. Those Bambi eyes and plump, rosy lips...

She looked so... innocent?

He wasn't sure if it was the right word, but he was sure that he had to say something before the silence became too long.

"Hi Y/N." He repeated her name, seeing the slightest flicker of surprise run through the eyes of the woman in front of him. But the slight relaxation of her body told him that his usual trick was working. It was a typical 'strategy' that he would often use with people who were a bit unsure about him. His voice would soften, he would always wear a hint of a smile on his face, and he'd repeat people's names to create a bit more of a familiar environment. It always worked, and he was glad it did. He never wanted anyone, especially a woman, to feel uncomfortable around him.

"Hi." The corners of her mouth tugged up.

Angel.

That's all he could think of as he looked at her. Jesus Christ, she was beautiful.

"Thank you for joining the class. You don't have to join in on everything if you don't feel comfortable. Just observe and see if this is something you would like to practice more often, okay?"

The girl in front of him nodded intently the second he had finished talking. Her eyes widened ever so slightly before she peeped out an, "okay."

Harry grinned, his gaze shooting to Sophie��who was looking at him with this suspicious look on her face that she only got once in a while—before calling everyone in a circle and commencing the class.

This girl, Y/N, turned out to be a real distraction for him. He was so focused on trying to read how she was feeling that he trailed off during explanations a couple times. It was embarrassing, really. He was a grown man for God's sake, why couldn't he just concentrate?

Y/N only joined in for a couple of the basic movements, but she stayed back for most of the class. Her big eyes observed every movement Harry and the others made, impressed with how developed everyone seemed to be in their techniques. He noted that it only seemed to make her more timid, though.

His eyebrows kept knitting every time he looked at her, getting lost in his thoughts on how he could help her become more comfortable in his class. She'd caught his stare about halfway through the class, and at the way her eyes shot to the floor he realized that his gaze was actually doing the completed opposite of what he wanted to do, which was help her.

When the class ended, Harry gave his usual speech about how good everyone had done their job, and that he would see them all next week. Afterwards there would always be a couple of women hanging around to ask questions, and he would stop a few on their way out to compliment their improvements. When the rest of the women had left, Sophie walked up to Harry, Y/N following closely behind.

"Great class, Styles. Thanks for teaching me some ass kicking again." She teased, smiling at him before she took a sip from her water bottle.  Harry chuckled, shaking his head faintly.

"Glad you liked it." He turned to Y/N. "What about you?"

Her cheeks started heating up, mouth falling open ever so slightly. "M— me? Oh, uhm, yeah, pretty good."

"I'm going to use the bathroom really quick, I'll be right back." Sophie chimed in, and began walking towards the door. "Keep her company for me, will ya Styles?"

Harry almost laughed at how Y/N's eyes nearly popped out of her sockets at Sophie's announcement. She was nervous around him, and it was quite endearing, but she didn't need to be. Although it was very cute, Harry wanted her to be comfortable around her.

"You hated it, didn't you?" He said as soon as Sophie was out of sight. Harry was amused, watching Y/N scramble for words when she realized what he had said.

"What? No, no of course not! You're great! Teacher— you're a great teacher, I mean." She stumbled over every last one of her words, making it sound even less convincing than it already was, even though she did really mean it.

Harry solely raised his eyebrow, indicating that he did not buy any of that, and it was all it took for her shoulders to slump and a little sigh to leave those pretty lips of hers.

"It's really not you, I promise. I just get... a bit nervous in group settings, especially when it comes to sports. I don't even go to the gym." She confessed, and Harry nodded. That certainly made more sense. His heart warmed a bit at the fact that she reassured him that he wasn't the reason she wasn't liking the class all too much.

"Why don't you go to the gym?" Harry asked further, his tone soft. He didn't want to press too much, but he did want to know more about her.

"It's... embarrassing." She shrugged. Harry chuckled.

"I go to the gym all the time. I mean, I own this one. I can only imagine how embarrassing I must be."  He joked. He had to say he thought it was pretty funny, the way she blushed as he teased her.

"No, I didn't mean it like that! You're not embarrassing at all— I mean, you’re like the opposite. You're lean, and strong. You have like— big arms and you know what you're doing." She ranted, and had no idea how much Harry's ego was fueled by the compliments she was unknowingly throwing at him. "Whereas I— I have no idea what to do at a gym. I hate the idea of people being able to watch me and judge me if they want. Not that I think everyone's focusing on me all the time! I— I don't think that..."

Y/N's heart was racing as she finally got herself to stop talking. It was a nervous habit she had always possessed. As soon as something got awkward, her mouth would open and it would just never shut again. All communication skills flew out the window as soon as something — or in this case someone — made her nervous. She couldn't even remember half the words she just said.

"I can teach you, if you want."

The offer was as unexpected to Y/N as it was to Harry. He hadn't quite anticipated the words rolling off his tongue, but he didn't regret them either.

"It'll be a private class, and it can be in a closed room, like this one, or after closing time. Whatever suits you." Harry tried his hardest to sound casual, and not like what he was offering was something he literally never did. He had to hire a cleaner at home because he was too busy to get around to cleaning the house, that's how much he had to do. But the prospect of losing even more free time did not seem to bother him at all. In fact, he hoped Y/N would take him up on his offer as he scanned her face and waited for her to say something.

"No, I wouldn't want to ask that of you. I'm sure you're busy with a lot of other things." She declined politely, but he didn't miss the glimmer of hope in her eyes. Those private classes had sounded intriguing to her, he just knew it. So instead of accepting her rejection, he shrugged.

"How about this. I'm always in till late on Tuesday's. If you're sure you don't want private lessons, that's fine. But if it does sound like something you want to do, just be there at 9. I'll be there either way." Harry suggested. He didn't wait for a response — hearing Sophie's footsteps nearing — and instead said,

"Just think about it, alright?"

Y/N merely nodded, not even able to croak out a 'yes' before Sophie walked back into the room.

"Okay, I'm ready to go. Y/N?" Sophie asked, watching as her friend agreed and grabbed her things before walking towards the door where Sophie stood.

"Thanks for the class." Y/N turned around and smiled at Harry, throwing him a small wave as she started following Sophie out the door.

"Anytime." He winked at her.

"Bye Styles!" Sophie shouted, her keys clinking as she waved at Harry, behind her.

"Bye Soph." Harry called out, his eyes still transfixed on the girl behind his friend.

He didn't take her eyes off her as they walked towards the exit, taking in every detail of her delicate body as she moved further and further away from him. She was painstakingly beautiful. How had she just walked in? As soon as the girls disappeared behind the door, Harry let out a big sigh.

"Fuck." He murmured under his breath.

He really hoped Y/N would take him up on his offer. Harry had very quickly and very suddenly developed this intense need to help the girl, and that couldn't mean anything good.

Maybe he'd never see her again. She did sound very unsure. Besides, who said that she even wanted to go to this class? For all Harry knew, Sophie could've just used her manipulative convincing tricks, and Y/N, the polite angel she was, would've felt too bad to decline. Maybe, she thought he was an ass and didn't want anything to do with him.

In spite of the countless theories flying through his head, he knew that she wanted it. He had seen it in her eyes. She did really want to join the class, she was simply too nervous. But whether she would take him up on the offer, that was the question. He'd have to wait until the following week.

Strangely enough, he couldn't wait until it was Tuesday. He couldn't wait to find out…

[deathbxnny]

Genshin men meeting you, their idol, for the first time. | Lyney, Kinich, Childe x Gn!Reader

The idea came to me randomly, so enjoy! (I've been freed from my writers block wooo-)

Content: Reader is a famous person, Childe going a little feral, vague mentions of flirting, Ajaw being Ajaw, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

》LYNEY

You were a famous magician who did shows all over Teyvat. Everyone knew of you and your incredible talent, making you an international star to all. No matter where you went, diehard fans would always come to see your breathtaking magic tricks with wide, sparkling eyes. You were able to bewitch the crowd with the most simplest moves, a graceful smile always on your beautiful face as you did so.

And when you finally came around to hold a show in the grand theaters of Fountaine, Lyney had the chance to meet you backstage in between your sets. Despite the fact that he should have seen you as competition considering his own passion in the profession, he couldn't help but watch you with that same awe-struck expression. It was a privilege to meet you, one he wouldn't pass up for anything.

His heart was beating against his chest wildly, yet he still pushed through with the greeting he had gone over and over again in his mind. He wanted to impress you after all. Taking your hand in his, he kissed the back of it, a sly and playful glint in his eyes. "It is an honor to meet you." He hums before pulling a rainbow rose from behind your ear skillfully and holding it out to you, secretly relishing in the giggle you gave him. Ignoring his sibling's deadpan from behind him, he held out his arm to you. "May I show you around? This is your first time in Fountaine... and I can assure you that I'm the best guide you'll find. Consider it a favor amongst like-minded magicians such as ourselves!"

His nervousness never shows, and his smile never falters. This was perhaps the best show he had to put on in his life... but when you gratefully accepted his invitation, he felt his worries melt away, glad he didn't come off as a desperate fan.

》KINICH

He tried to stay indifferent when he was suddenly standing in front of one of the most legendary warriors Natlan had ever seen, which just happened to be you. He felt his hands become clamy, arms tightly crossed across his chest, whilst he watched you speak with Mualani about the latest news regarding their annual tournament. Attempting to simply stay out of your line of sight in fear of embarrassing himself, he leaned against the wall hidden in the shadows, content with being in your close proximity... until Ajaw caught onto what he was attempting to do.

"Ohoho... are you trying to crawl into a hole and disappear like the little worm you are?" He giggled evilly, floating around the deadpanning man, who was trying to ignore him like always. But Ajaw wasn't having it. If there was something he lived for, then it was the suffering of his dearest companion. "You know... I think you should go talk to them! Actually, let me help you out since I'm feeling oh-so nice today!" Kinich's eyes widened slightly, his lips parting to hiss out a warning, but the creature was too quick to stop, filled with determination to cause chaos.

Following after him with quick steps, Kinich was quick to banish him before he could reach you. This meant, however, that he was now standing in front of you and Mualani. Heat crawled up his neck and cheeks, as his friend happily introduced him to you, seemingly not having noticed the doom that had nearly hit you earlier. But his slightly panicked mind stilled when he saw you give him a kind smile. "Ah, I think I know you... or well, I've heard of you, at least." You said, and he felt himself take a shaky breath in relief and wonder.

Perhaps Ajaw had actually done something nice for once... which would definitely enrage him once he was released from his imprisonment.

》CHILDE

Oh boy... you knew him way before you met him, that's for sure. Mainly because he was hellbent on fighting you at least once. He didn't care if he lost or won either. It was all the same to him, as long as you were the one to press the blade of your sword against his neck. And that alone made you often just outright avoid him, whenever you were in the motherland for business. You were a well-known assasin and agent for the first Harbinger, serving directly under him, which, of course, brought you great strength that Childe wanted to experience desperately. He needed to know if the rumors about your skills were true or not.

And unfortunately for you, he finally was able to get his deepest wish fulfilled when you accidentally dared to linger around the courtyard for way longer than you should have. "Please... fight me in a duel at least once!" He called out, knowing he has you cornered now. Despite him idolizing you greatly, you could tell his cocky pride and ego made him think he was an equal to you. Or perhaps that was just how things appeared to be. He was an unreadable force of energy that admittedly had caught your interest a while ago.

"Will you finally leave me be, if I do?" You asked after a moment of pondering silence, and the man just gave you a smirk, his dead eyes burning with determination you had never seen before. "Let's let our blades decide that." Chuckling at his response, you unsheathed your sword and faced him with a sigh.

This is not how people usually approach their idols... but you supposed that nothing was normal in the place you called home.

[nordschleifes]

life is what happens to you

➝ the life of a mother is not simple but it does not surpass that of the mother of a child who, in theory, does not exist to the world

➝ word count: 5,8k

➝ warnings: mentions of smut, coparenting.

➝ author's note: let's just say the idea of a formula one driver having a secret son gave me ideas.

The doorbell made you jump from the couch, relief filling your chest. As you walked to the apartment door, the sound of laughter made you smile. Finally your heart was home. When you opened it, you found a man and a little boy standing in the doorway, both with huge smiles on their faces.

— Mamá! — the boy exclaimed, throwing himself into your arms as he laughed.

— Hi, my love — you replied, pressing a kiss to his brown hair — How are you? I missed you so much.

— I missed you too, mamá — he murmured, his head nestled against your sternum, his hands resting firmly on your back, as if he were trapping you between his arms. After what felt like an eternity away from him, you never wanted him to let go.

— How was your week? — you asked.

— It was good — the boy replied, turning his head toward the man behind him — I biked a lot, didn't I, papá?

You looked up into a pair of brown eyes that were similar to your son's. The man in front of you had a tender, soft expression. One of his hands gripped the handles of a carry-on bag that you’d packed, and the other was stuffed into the pocket of his dark jeans. He looked exactly the same as the night you had met a Richard Mille event, seven years earlier.

You had been working as a designer for the watch brand for a few years at that point, and had gained a reputation for creating some especially bold pieces. At that time, you were celebrating the launch of your newest creation, the RM 19-02, which featured the first automatic movement for the brand, featuring a magnolia flower that opened and closed as the internal mechanism moved.

Seeing people enchanted by your creation, praising the little details, felt incredible, but all of it became background noise when an incredibly well-dressed man stopped to look at the display. You had seen his face before, but you couldn’t recall his name.

— This is yours, right?

— What? — you asked, half confused by the vagueness of his question, half captivated by how smooth his accent was.

— The design. It’s yours?

— Yes, it's mine.

He smiled.

— I can tell.

— Why? — you said, raising an eyebrow at him.

— It's beautiful like you.

Before long, he had introduced himself as Fernando and that he was a longtime friend of Richard Mille himself. You had a feeling that he wasn’t just any ordinary guest at the party. As the two of you continued talking, he started talking about cars, but you’d long stopped paying attention. His lips were of much more interest to you than the words coming out of them.

Ending up in bed with Fernando felt inevitable. Later that night, you didn't care about the marks on your neck or the volume of your moans. You didn't care how tightly he held your hair or how your hips bumped against his. You didn't mind when he mumbled something about the condom, his words were all lost in the post-orgasm haze.

Three months later, you realized that maybe you should have cared a bit more.

Finding yourself calling Fernando and then showing up at the front door of his house in Lugano with a positive pregnancy test in your purse made you feel like you were in a bad serial drama. You were fully prepared for him to humiliate you and tell you that it couldn’t have been him, that he would have never gotten a woman pregnant on a one-night stand. A pit formed in your stomach as you braced yourself for the inevitable paternity lawsuit you would have to file. 

To your surprise, though, he didn’t take the news badly. He didn’t look angry or shocked, but contemplative. He asked you a few questions about birth control and the morning after, but when you told him that you’d forgotten to take the morning after pill in the blur of the hangover the next day, he sighed.

— Well, I guess we're going to have a baby, then.

Your mouth dropped open in shock.

— What…?

He looked at you, his gaze serious.

— You don't want to? I mean, don't you want to continue with the pregnancy? Of course, I'm not forcing you to do anything, if you don't want to continue, we can look at our options and, and I’ll help you pay for the procedure, of course… 

— No, no, I want to have this baby... In fact, legally I can't do anything at this point — you stuttered, shaking your head — I mean... Aren't you going to ask for any proof?

He knit his eyebrows together.

— Do you want me to take a paternity test to verify?

— No, not because I have any doubts, you were the only guy I had sex with in the last few months. It’s just — you said, letting out a nervous laugh — It’s just thought, I thought you’d react in a very different way.

— Different?

— I thought you would be pissed and that I’d have to leave here and find a lawyer — you said softly.

Fernando smiled, taking one of your hands.

— I always wanted to be a father. It’s not the most conventional way, but now that I have the chance, I won't waste it. You can count on me, Y/N.

He had been sincere in offering his support. It wasn’t just monetary, either; even from the first few doctors appointments, Fernando was nothing less than the best co-parent you could have asked for. He was sincere in his willingness to wade waist-deep into the world of pacifiers, dirty diapers, doctors’ appointments, and toys.

However, the joy of having him around didn’t come without a lot of sacrifice and sadness.

Before long, you realized that Fernando was incredibly famous, especially in Spain, his home country. Because of this, and his incredibly public persona as a Formula 1 driver, a lot of legal rules had to be established with regard to the baby. His best friend and business partner, Alberto, diligently drew up a document outlining a custody schedule, restrictions on posting any identifiable images of the child, a future move — paid for by Fernando — when the child came of school age, and an agreement not to disclose the child’s paternity. It was all to protect the privacy of you and your baby, Fernando said.

However, it was worth it, and still was, especially when you saw the sparkle in your son's brown eyes. He was named Leon Alberto Luis, after Fernando’s best friend and father. All the effort was worth it when it came to your little boy, the greatest love of your life.

— Yes, we biked a lot — Fernando replied, looking up at you after dropping your son's bag on the ground — We went all around Parco Ciani, didn't we, Leon?

The boy nodded excitedly.

— And what else did you do? — you asked, as you stroked his hair.

— We played football and papá ordered Japanese food for us...

— Calamari? — you asked, looking up at Fernando again.

— As always — he replied, putting his hands in his jeans pocket. Even after seven years the similarity between Leon and Fernando still caught you off guard. It wasn’t just the physical similarities, either, but their personalities were almost identical. They both were shy at first, but had a great sense of humor once they were comfortable with someone. Both of them were also incredibly witty, with intelligence and mischievousness in equal measure.

— That's good, my dear — you replied, kissing his head — Now, say goodbye to your father and go straight to the shower.

— Do I have to take a shower now? — the boy questioned.

— Yes, you do. I could smell the sweat as soon as the car pulled up.

— I told you she would smell it — Fernando said to your son, ruffling the boy's hair — Now come here, let me give you a kiss.

Leon walked over and hugged his father tightly, his face pressed against his belly. Bowing down a little, Fernando placed a kiss on the boy's forehead and murmured something in Spanish to him, who nodded his head.

— Don't forget to ask, okay, papá? — the boy said, toddling off to his room with his overnight bag. As you looked back up at Fernando, he seemed to have a sheepish look on his face.

— You have something to ask me? — you asked, giving a small smile.

— Yeah, you could say that — he murmured.

— And what would it be?

— I wanted to know if you could... Not that, it's... If you'd like to bring Leon to a race at the end of the month — Fernando stuttered, running a hand through his hair — You know, it's going to be my birthday on the weekend and … You know…

You clenched your jaw. It was a tense subject between the two of you.

The first and only time you took Leon to a race track was, in short, a disaster. It was at the end of 2018, when Fernando had decided to retire from Formula 1 to dedicate himself to other projects, and to spending more time with Leon. The last race would be special, and he wanted his entire family to be there, including you and his son.

However, the steps that Fernando and his team had taken so that you and Leon could enjoy the race in peace was all for naught when journalists began to speculate who the woman and child were who were accompanying the Alonso family around the paddock. In the end, the plan to watch the race from the McLaren garage went down the drain and you ended up hiding away in a small room inside the McLaren motorhome, trying to calm down a screaming four-year-old boy because he wanted to see his father on the track and not on a screen.

— Fernando…

— I know Abu Dhabi was a disaster, I know — he interrupted you — But it was stupid of me to take you to a place where I would be the center of attention, but this time it's different.

— Different how? As far as I know, your season has been brilliant.

The shadow of a smile appeared on his face.

— Are you watching it?

— Leon keeps me updated. He’s watched every single race. Six podiums in eight races, right? — you said, leaning against the doorframe. 

— That's right — Fernando said — The last few races weren't so good, but I believe we can recover, and having you and Leon at the track would be wonderful.

— That's why he told you to ask me, right?

He pursed his lips before letting out a heavy sigh.

— Yes, Y/N — he replied — But, like I said, this time it will be different. My parents and sister won't be there, so it will be easier for you to blend in with the rest of the team’s guests…

— Look, Fernando, I would really like to…

— I asked for normal credentials, without my name, so that you can enjoy the weekend — the driver continued — Please, Y/N, it will be so good to have you there with me, and on my birthday...

— Fernando…

— He even told me what he's going to wear, it's going to be that lime green Kimoa sweatshirt...

— Fernando! — you exclaimed, interrupting him — I know you love Leon, that you want him around but, as you said when I got pregnant, we have to protect him from the media circus.

— I know…

— So you understand that taking him to the middle of a paddock for a race is not the best way to do this, right? I know you both love Formula 1, but we can't risk his safety and privacy because of this.

— But I want him to watch me race…

— And he watches you, Fernando, every weekend. He loves watching you on television, he screams every time you make an overtake. But we have to face the reality of it, and you know that it’s too much of a risk to his safety and privacy. You know that more than anyone.

— I know, which is why I took so many extra steps this time — he replied, running a hand through his hair — Forget about it, okay? When I get back from Spa, let's see about doing something together, okay?

— As long as it's not on a go-karting track — you said, laughing a bit.

— I can't promise that — Fernando said, putting his hand back in his pocket — See you, Y/N.

— See you, Fernando — you replied, as he turned and headed towards the elevator. After a few seconds of staring at his back, you finally closed the door, letting out a long sigh.

It was hard to be the person who said no. However, it was often necessary to curb the impulses of both Leon and Fernando and bring a rational view of the situation to make decisions. Of course, you wanted them to have the most normal coexistence possible, to be able to do normal things that fathers and sons did, but, above everything else, you needed to protect him, even if it meant having to deny what would probably be an amazing experience for the boy.

— Are we going? — Leon's voice broke you out of your thoughts. You turned around to see him in the hallway, looking hopefully at you.

— What?

— Are we going with papá to the race?

— Leon…

— Come on, mamá, it'll be nice. I swear I will behave, I will stay only with you...

— My love, you know it's not just that. There are other things…

— Is it because of Andrea? — he asked.

You swallowed hard, feeling your shoulders tense. It wasn't like Fernando's love life was any of your business, after all, your romantic relationship with him never went beyond the night Leon was conceived. However, you couldn't help but feel a certain distrust every time he showed up in the paddock with a new girl on his arm.

His most recent girlfriend was Andrea, a journalist who covered Formula 1 for an Austrian broadcaster. Even though Leon thought she was kind, and loved playing with her dog, a yellow Labrador named Bodhi, you always felt uneasy in her presence. There was something in the way she looked at you that made you uncomfortable, as if she was studying you, trying to understand your relationship with Fernando and Leon, if there was something more.

— No, it has nothing to do with your father’s girlfriend…

— Papá said she's just his friend now.

— What? — you asked, confused.

— Bodhi wasn't at papá's house when I got there, so I asked where he was and papá told me that he went back to Austria with Andrea — the boy explained — I asked if he was going to Austria too, and papá said no, because he and Andrea are just friends now.

You couldn't help but notice that Leon looked a little upset. You knew he loved dogs, but the fact that you lived in a small apartment prevented you from having a big one, which were his favorites. It also didn't help that Fernando had plenty of space to have a big dog, but wasn’t home often enough to care for one. 

You brought a hand to your son’s face and stroked his cheek.

— You liked him, right?

— Bodhi was nice, mamá — he said — He was always happy to see me. Did you know he liked to lick my face?

You laughed, lifting the hair that fell over his forehead.

— And you loved letting him lick your face, didn't you?

— Yes — the boy said with a mischievous expression — I also liked playing ball with him and Andrea...

— Did he bring you the ball? — you tried to keep up the conversation, ignoring the mention of the woman.

— Yes, he would look for us and ask us to play. I always managed to throw it further than Andrea — Leon said, until his face lit up — Mamá, what if we go to the race and ask Andrea if we can visit Bodhi?

You paused, unsure of how to answer your son’s question.

— We’ll see, my love. Now, go take a shower.

With a hopeful smile on his face, the boy obeyed.

His smile was what made you want to kick yourself. Leaving the possibility of going to the race open was fueling the expectation that Leon had already cultivated within himself for a long time. Doing that just to break your son's heart made you feel like a terrible mother.

“Would it really be so bad if we went to a race?”, you thought as you dropped onto the sofa, looking at the photo on the end table. It was a photo of you and Fernando holding Leon when he was just a few months old, both of you looking at the boy with pure admiration and love. It was as if it was impossible to believe that you had been able to create something as beautiful and pure as Leon. It was precisely that innocence that you wanted to protect from the media monster that prowled the circuits, sniffing out stories and devouring its prey without mercy.

Leon couldn't become another victim. You wouldn’t let it happen.

Over the next few days, you managed to avoid talking about the race, dodging the question any time Leon asked. However, your efforts were in vain when Fernando made a video call with the boy, directly from his room in Budapest. He had no restrictions on seeing Leon, quite the opposite. There were very few days that Fernando didn’t speak to his son somehow. Most of the time it was through calls or text messages, and you were proud of them for managing to become close in spite of Fernando’s insane workload.

During the conversation about what Leon did during the week and in his football practices, your son asked the question you were most afraid of.

— Will I see you next week, papá? — Leon asked.

— Ah, well — Fernando stammered, his eyes seeming to search for your image on the phone screen — You know I'd like to see you, but it's your mom who decides that.

The boy turned to look at you, his face full of hope.

— Can we, mamá?

— Leon…

— Please, mamá, I'll behave, I promise!

You sighed. Something inside you told you that this wasn't a good idea, that it was too risky for his privacy. However, what kind of mother would you be preventing him from seeing his own father? What kind of mother would you be if you kept him trapped in a bubble? What kind of mother would you be to deny something so simple?

— Do you want to go see your papá race?

— Yes, mamá!

— Are you going to stay by my side the whole time and not talk to strangers?

— Yes.

— I mean it, don’t talk to anyone other than me, your papa, and your uncle Alberto. 

— I won't talk to any strangers, I promise, mamá — he said, while Fernando smiled on the device's screen.

— Then we can go, my love — you said to Leon, who immediately looked at the cell phone screen with a giant smile on his face.

— Papá, I'm going to the race! — he exclaimed.

On the other side of the call, Fernando laughed at the boy's excitement, but the way his dimples framed his smile indicated that he was overjoyed with the news.

— Yes, you are! And we’ll have that waffle filled with chocolate sauce I told you about instead of the birthday cake.

— With candles for us to blow out?

— Yes, we will find some candles to put in it, okay?

The boy talked about what he would like to take with him and whether he could sit in the car, which Fernando was happy to confirm. At the end of the call, he blew several kisses to his father, telling him he would see him in five days.

Those five days that seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

On the private flight that Fernando had hired to take you and Leon to Belgium, you couldn’t help but feel restless. Even with all the assurances that you wouldn't have any problems, you couldn't reassure yourself. Terrible scenarios came to mind, unprompted, each one worse than the last. By the time the plane approached the small airport in the region, your anxiety had reached a fever pitch.

— Mamá? — Leon's voice bringing you to reality — Are we there yet?

— Not yet, my love — you replied, looking at him — There’s still a little bit left.

— Is papá going to pick us up at the airport? — your son asked, as you took off the hood of the sweatshirt he had chosen that morning to fix his hair.

— Yes, along with Alberto and Fabri. And we will go straight to the circuit.

The joy on Leon’s face when learning that information was only exceeded by the joy on his face when he saw Fernando waiting for him on the landing strip, a slight smile beneath the hood of his black Boss sweatshirt. The hug between the two made something warm fill your chest, and so did seeing them laughing and joking like any other father and son.

— Thank you for agreeing to come, Y/N — he said, as Leon pulled his father's credential from his sweatshirt pocket and showed it to Fabri.

— It's the least I can do, Fernando — you replied, crossing your arms — And, considering he's your biggest fan...

You both looked at Leon at the same time. The boy was questioning Alberto relentlessly, wanting to know where his credential was and if it was the same as Fernando's. When your eyes met again, you knew that your concern was more evident than you would have liked.

— Look, I — you started, only to be interrupted.

— I know you're scared, especially because of what happened in Abu Dhabi. But rest assured, nobody will bother you.

— Are you sure? — you asked.

— Absolutely — Fernando said, before being interrupted by his son clinging to his arm.

— Let's go, papá! — Leon exclaimed, anxiously — I want to see the track!

The trip to the track was fairly short, with Leon excitedly talking about playing games on the Nintendo Switch in his backpack. 

At the entrance to the paddock, you decided to separate, in order to avoid unnecessary attention. Giving Fernando one last kiss, Leon made him promise that they would meet inside so he could show him the car.

— Your passes are inside — Alberto said, handing you an envelope — I'll send you a message when Fer is free, ok?

— Perfect — you replied, before getting out of the car with Leon, as he waved to his father one last time before Fernando disappeared through the turnstiles. 

The last time you’d come to a race, the paddock was incredibly crowded, but the fact that this was not the final race of the season and the weather was cold and dreary seemed to be keeping the crowds down.

— Where is everybody? — Leon asked you softly, gripping the pass around his neck.

— Well, there's nothing on the track today, so there aren't many people around here — you said  — Which means we can make the most of it.

The boy nodded, holding your hand as you both walked past the rows of paddock buildings. However, when you were passing the structure set up by Red Bull Racing, you felt your phone vibrate in your purse. You let go of Leon’s hand to paw through the contents of your purse in search of your phone. 

— Where, where… Here! — you said, as you unlocked the screen and saw that the call had gone to your voicemail.

However, that became a secondary concern when you realized Leon had run off somewhere. You felt your heart pounding as you started looking for the boy’s brown curls and gray coat. You had only let go of his hand for a second…

— Leon, Leon, my God, Leon — you stammered, about to scold him for not staying by your side even though he promised to do so on the phone call with his father...

— Mamá! — you heard Leon calling out — Here, mamá!

You turned around and found the boy waving at you a few feet in front of you. He was next to a woman wearing a pink coat and her hair in a ponytail, who was sitting on a bench. You walked toward him briskly, your words for him dying on the tip of your tongue when you realized who he was standing next to.

— My love, why…

— Remember I said I was going to talk to Andrea about Bodhi?

You blinked, looking up at Andrea, who had an embarrassed smile on her face and a cup of coffee in her hand.

— Good morning, Y/N — Andrea said softly.

— Good morning, Andrea — you replied, trying to mask your apprehension — I hope Leon isn't bothering you.

— No, never. Leon was just asking me about Bodhi…

— Can we go visit him, Andrea? — the boy asked, expectation shining in his eyes. Placing a hand on your son's shoulder, you were thinking about the best way to say that it wouldn't be possible to go to Austria to visit a dog when the woman gave a warm smile.

— Of course, I can talk to your father and we'll see a day for you to go play with Bodhi — Andrea said, looking up at you. As if she sensed your hesitation in the air, she added quickly — If your mother agrees, of course.

— Let's see, maybe during your school vacations, right, my love? — you replied, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, forcing a smile.

— Yes!

— Perfect. Now let’s go, we have a long day ahead of us and so does Andrea — you said, looking at the journalist with the hope that she would follow your lead.

— Yes, media day is always busy for me — she said, smiling — See you later, Leon.

The boy waved goodbye to Andrea and allowed himself to be led toward the Aston Martin motorhome as you gripped his hand extra firmly. During that short journey, you tried to focus on your own breathing and not on the anxiety that took over your chest and made your stomach turn.

— Mamá…

— Not now, Leon — you replied, trying to remember what color the facilities of the team Fernando was racing for that season were.

— Mamá, you're crushing my hand — your son protested, making you stop suddenly and bend down in front of him.

— Why did you do that?

— What?

— Why did you leave my side?

— Because I saw Andrea and you said we could talk to her...

You let out a long sigh.

— My love, you said you wouldn’t leave my side, remember?

— She wasn’t far from us…

— I know, but you can't run off alone here — you said, placing a hand on the boy's face — Imagine if it were a day with more people, how would I find you? You know that I love you more than anything and that losing you would be the worst thing in the world for me.

Leon pursed his lips, looking upset about what had happened.

— Sorry, mamá — he murmured.

— It’s okay, my love — you replied — Now let's go to the motorhome.

The rest of the day was divided between watching the activity around the track and catching glimpses of Fernando as he circulated around the paddock giving interviews, checking the car's assembly and meeting with the engineers. The highlight of the day was the trip to the garage with Alberto, who introduced you and Leon to the mechanics and allowed Mikey, their leader, to explain the car to the boy.

— Can I get in? — he asked with his eyes shining.

The red-haired man looked at Alberto, who gave a positive nod.

— Of course you can — Mikey replied.

With Leon settled in Fernando's seat and with his hands on the steering wheel that had been positioned just in front of him, the boy seemed completely ecstatic. It felt like he was finally in the right place, where he should have been all along. It was no wonder his grandfather, Luis, was so insistent that they consider getting him into karting as soon as he was old enough.

— You can't see anything from here — he said, looking at you. The mechanics working on Alonso’s car chuckled.

— The drivers are a little taller, so they can see the track — Alberto explained — But, when you're a little older, you’ll be able to see just fine.

Leon smiled, before looking ahead again and pressing his fingers on the steering wheel. It was impossible not to notice how much he looked like the pictures you’d seen of Fernando as a child, so much so that you made a point of taking a picture of him to show Fernando at dinner later.

However, you didn't have that opportunity.

Leon was already lying in bed, watching a cartoon on Netflix. Despite what you had agreed on, Fernando hadn’t been able to leave his meeting with his engineers in time to have dinner with you. His message fell like a bomb on his son's mood, and he barely touched the ice cream that Alberto had offered to share with him. 

— Mamá?

— Yes, my love?

— Is papá coming?

You swallowed hard. The last message you had received from him stated that he was leaving the circuit, and it had been right after you arrived at the hotel suite. At that point, you had no idea when or if he would hit there, especially after that day.

— I don't know, my love — you said, running your hand through his hair — You know that this is still papá's job and he's very dedicated...

— But didn't he say when he's coming? — the boy questioned.

— He texted — you started, only to hear the sound of two knocks on the door. Looking back at Leon, you found his excited expression — Wait here.

You got up from the bed and went to the entrance of the room, feeling relief take over your chest when you saw that it was Fernando.

— Can I come in? — he asked softly, running a hand through his hair.

You nodded and stepped aside so he could come in. Smiling, the driver walked by you, kissing you on the cheek as he passed, before walking over to the bed. Leon had an enormous smile on his face. 

— Papá! — he exclaimed, as Fernado lifted him up into an enormous hug.

— Hola, mijo. I came as soon as I could. Did you have fun today?

— Yes!

— What did you do? Tell me everything.

— Yes, it was really cool. Mamá and I stayed with Melina in the morning and she showed us everything inside. She even got us waffles!

— Does that mean you got the waffles? I always ask them, but they always say they don't have any waffles — the driver said, as you walked around the bed and sat on the other side of Leon — I think I'm going to have a serious talk with them.

— Maybe the waffles are just for the VIP guests, right, my love? — you suggested with a wink, which made your son laugh.

— Yes, only for special guests!

— But I'm their driver! — Fernando exclaimed, in mock indignation — I deserve waffles too!

— Don't you have a weight to keep, Fernando? — you asked.

— Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't eat waffles, especially with my son — he replied, before pouting — But I don't think he likes eating waffles with me...

Almost immediately, the boy laughed.

— I like eating waffles with you, papá…

— You mean we can eat waffles together?

— Yes! — Leon exclaimed.

— With chocolate sauce or honey?

— Hm — the boy thought for a few seconds — Mamá, could it be chocolate?

— Don't you think you ate too much chocolate today?

Leon looked away from Fernando, looking embarrassed.

— It wasn't that much...

— Yes, it was. And I have a photo to prove it.

— You do? — Fernando asked, raising himself on one elbow.

— Yes, I do — you replied, taking the phone that was on the bedside table. A few taps later, the plate of waffles was on the screen in front of Fernando, who seemed somewhat impressed.

— Did you eat all of that? — he asked looking at Leon.

— Yes, every last bit  — you replied — He didn't give me any.

The driver laughed.

— I can imagine the sugar rush you had afterwards…

The conversation between you continued for some time, until Leon began to slowly close his eyes while his father stroked his hair. It wasn't long before he was fast asleep, with his face against Fernando's chest and one of his arms resting on his waist in a hug.

— Y/N? — Fernando asked softly.

— Yeah?

— Was Leon very upset that I couldn't have dinner with you?

You pursed your lips.

— Well, a little. He was really looking forward to seeing you and telling you everything but…

He snorted, looking at the boy.

— I didn't want to stay late — Fernando murmured — But tomorrow there's only one practice session before qualifying for Sunday, so I couldn't avoid it...

— He knows that — you said — I told you that, as much as it's fun, it's still your job and you're very dedicated to it. And you can't win if you don't dedicate yourself, so we have to understand and support you, even if it means you're far from us.

The driver looked up at you, his expression completely unreadable.

— Do you think I'm dedicated?

— That's a stupid question, Fernando.

— I just want to know your opinion — he smiled.

You rolled your eyes.

— Yes, I think you are dedicated and I admire you for that.

— You admire me, huh? — the driver asked in a suggestive tone.

— Professionally speaking — you said, the emphasis in your words causing a giggle to escape his lips.

— I also admire you a lot, Y/N.

— Professionally speaking?

— Personally speaking.

You stared at him in silence for a few seconds, trying to read between the lines of his words. However, the smile on his face made you completely lose your train of thought. It always did.

— Well, thank you — you managed to say, before your eyes found the face of his watch, which indicated that it was already past 11 o'clock at night — But I think it's past your bedtime

— No problem, I can stay a little longer…

— I'd like to rest, since I've had to deal with your son all afternoon.

Fernando laughed.

— He's also your son, in fact, he has a lot of you in him — he said, as he carefully got up from the bed, placing Leon's arm close to his body.

— I know that. But I prefer to highlight your participation so you can understand why I need a good night's sleep.

— And you will have it, I'm sure — Fernando replied, before heading towards the door of your suite. However, before leaving, he turned and smiled at you — Good night, Y/N. See you tomorrow.

[hanatagami]

sagau imposter au (part 1)

i was just introduced and am now an avid enjoyer to sagau, especially imposter ones, so i wanted to make some hcs. this is gonna be your pov, but i would like to do povs of the actual characters too.

Upon “descending” to teyvat, under circumstances you know now, you find yourself to be incredibly lucky that you arrived where you did

you woke up in a domain of all places

it was a weird thing to wake up to, being in the middle of a strange platform with a golden tree not to far from you

you weren’t certain what domain per say, but you could confidently deduce its domain-hood, though it never acted like a typical domain

as in monsters didnt spawn and there wasn’t a challenge for you to face

instead it acted like your own personal sanctuary

if you wanted to sleep: a bed would appear inside

the same with a bathroom (which was weird to use in a space that seemed almost alive) and any other luxuries or necessities you needed

you made sure to compliment the space you were in, just in case, and was surprised when the tree tinted pink, but in a situation like this

more shocking things were bound to happen

like looking at your body and noticing veins of gold which was plenty shocking, the gold seemed to be able to glow or dim to your desire.

You could make it so looked like your body was covered in rivers made of stars (which did wonders for your confidence, way better then any tattoo you could’ve gotten irl) or dim it to where the gold looked completely unnoticeable 

now youve read your fair share of sagau fics, and you deemed its probably safest to stay in a domain for now, until you figure what tropes may await you

god forbid-

‘(Y/n) forbid...? no thats weird’ you think to yourself

god forbid it was an imposter au or smth and you get smited by whatever archon this domain resides in

luckily, the people in the world dont seem to be checking domains you      h o p e

your content residing in the domain till you’ve figured out the full extent of your abilities, and it was only then that the domain provided enemies for you to practice on

(thankfully they weren’t actually alive, cause they are supposed to be your subjects now or something)

you figured out what you could with the guidance of a space that couldn’t physically speak with you, but you did your best

you were surprised to find that a lot of abilities weren’t really used by you per say, but rather that things followed your requests, if that made sense

you didn’t conjure wind to blow enemies away, but you gave silent requests and was gleefully answered

you didn’t create waves of water to send crashing against opponents, you asked and something, maybe Teyvat itself, listened

your hypothesis was that the original creator could manipulate things, but that is either learned or wasn’t passed on to you? 

you thought yourself not as the original creator, but a reinvention of them. Almost like Nahida, you aren’t the orginal creator but perhaps the creator remade themselves into you and placed in another world to be raised as peoples equal and learn things like morals

 perhaps tired of an eternal, all knowing, and all powerful existence.

it was a good idea to keep yourself free of the burdens of immortality, a self-imposed somewhat-life cycle

well that was your hypothesis, you didn't know for sure

but what you did know is that almost everything would answer your requests, even vague concepts like time, space, or gravity

you were even able to control the size of your body, growing big enough to fill the void below the domain, or small enough to be a molecule no one could see (you weren’t sure what was responding to you to do that, but it still worked) 

‘the original creator mustve been amazing...’ you often thought to yourself

You goofed around a lot with these abilities before deciding to go out and venture into actual teyvat, to figure out what you were actually dealing with 

imposters, killer characters, or whoever...beware, you know what your doing (kinda)

and as you stepped out into the land (after giving the domain a big thanks and promise to visit again) you grew a little surprised at the outfit change that happened the moment you stepped on land.

rocks and minerals from the earth arose and surrounded your body, not stabbing or poking you in anyway

instead it felt secure and comforting

you spun and gazed down in awe as all kinds of materials formed garments around your body

it was like a dream outfit for you, something celestial that you could only see in your imagination

and it looked like it came straight from Liyue

and which upon surveying your surroundings of the things in the area, seemed to be Liyue

when you turned around, there wasn’t actually a domain there, so you couldn’t use it as a landmark or anything

(it must be some personal creator domain? that would make sense)

maybe your “holy” garments change depending the country you were in?

Interesting theory, but you didn’t feel like testing it out just yet

requesting the materials to form something a little more Liyue casual to hopefully blend in

and with that you set off!

it only took a few minutes to realize you weren’t quite sure where you were going, but don’t worry, Teyvats got you

a beautiful path made of stone that was embedded with cor lapis arose from the ground to guide you to the city, your desired destination

and as you gazed behind you noticed the path disappeared a couple steps behind you

‘only i get the red carpet, eh? how kind~’

 and with that NOW you set off

it was a very wonderful walk, really

much more peaceful then any walk you’ve had playing the game

no hilichurls or slimes or abyss mages trying to test your patience like they did with your designated traveler

well they did approach, but they approached bearing gifts! it was actually cute watching hilichurls walk up to you with their most valued item, and its like just an apple or something

but you thanked them, gave them a pat to which they always did their little dance which you couldn’t help but chuckle at (it was so much better in person) and that only seemed to make them more cheery as they went back to their tribe

slimes came up for some pets, which how could you not

when you pet the first slime that came up, a pyro slime, you were amazed at the way it felt. It didn’t turn its element off, cause apparently it didnt need too. when you touched it you could feel the pure heat it eminated, but it wasn’t painful. there was a firmness from slime section but the fire itself only seemed to keep you warm

it was then your goal to experience petting slimes of all elements on your way to Liyue’s city

and the results of your petting: electro had a pleasant tingling (especially if you have one hand on a purple one and the other ona yellow one), hydro was more water then slime, anemo felt like putting your hand above a air hockey table, dendro was disappointingly normal but it smelt really nice, and cryo felt like a thin layer of ice on top of water, and geo was rough (unshockingly)

it made your trip to the city very eventful and quick, you didn’t notice time passing at all

it was upon approaching the big gate of Liyue did you really stop to think of a plan

what were you gonna do when they recognize you? cause according to the fics you’ve read, they always do

eh you’ll wing it, you just wanna try Xiangling’s cooking tbh

and maybe one of Chongyun’s popsicles

would they recognize you and agree? would they think you were an imposter or something? you were kinda excited to find out

to avoid the small fries (the guards) from pulling anything, you covered the rest of the distance using a form of teleportation (thanks space) and entered straight into Liyue

you had appeared in an ally to hopefully avoid people spotting you fade into existence there

willing yourself to appear a little more confident (you’ve heard looking confident can really get you places when trying to sneak or fool people)

you began to trek through the big city you’ve grown so used to seeing from a screen

and you really arrived at just the right time, since it was dark from the night sky so all the lights and lanterns were lit, lighting up the city beautifully

so much more beautiful then in game, thats for sure

it kinda made you eager to see the lantern festival! the big deer lantern (the deer was actually an adepti wasn’t it? you kinda forgot) was sure to be breathtaking in person

and maybe it was your outfit, or maybe the lack of guards, nobody was really clocking you on your appearance

(you were only now deliberating that they may not know your appearance, it may be a vibe thing but who knows)

you didn’t see any statues dedicated in your honor, which was kinda a plus. no direct comparisons can be made

you had come up to Xiangling’s restaurant and she was, thankfully, the only one there

“Uh, excuse me.”

“Yes, how can I- Your grace!?” 

ah, she knows

“SHHHH, I dont want anyone to know!”

“How are you here? Where are your guards?? It isn’t safe-”

“Don’t worry about it! I just want some of your food is all, I promise I’ll go back right away.”

 So there was an imposter...how interesting.

“I could of just delivered it to you Your Grace, or someone could of picked it up!” She was looking at you with great concern, you weren’t entirely sure what would threaten the “creator” in this world to begin with, but they may just be paranoid.

“I mean with this imposter going around, who knows what they may try and do...” The thought itself seemed to bring Xiangling great distress, her body visibly drooping at her words.

It felt weird for her to be so concerned over you, when its not actually you shes concerned for. Not you, but someone whose trying to be you, so ig in concept shes concerned for you?

whatever

“Come on, this is definitely one of the safest cities to be in, you know that. By the time they tried anything they’d already be getting chased outta here! Besides, your right here, you can protect me!” It was weird trying to comfort her in this situation, and you could only guess if you were mimicking the actual imposter correctly.

“Well...I guess so...” She didn’t seem completely convinced at that, but she seemed to be letting it slide slightly at the thought of protecting and spending time with you. How sweet~

“Hey, do you think you can make me your signature boiled fish?” You were trying to stay vague...you wanted to try it, but you weren’t sure if the imposter had already, so you had to be picky about your words.

“Uh, sure. Yeah! I can do that for you!” She was channeling some optimism now, her face bright at the thought of “your grace” trying her signature dish. It was really cute!

You were lucky no one heard her shouting “your grace” however many times, there weren’t any other customers and her dad wasn’t there for whatever reason.

But that didn’t stop someone from recognizing you though.

You had felt something pulling on the lower half of your clothes, so naturally you look down and see 

the one and only

former god

Guoba was gazing up at you with sparkles around his eyes

he seemed really excited to see you!

“Oh, aren’t you the cutest!” You were quick to scoop him up and give him the bestest of cuddles you could muster, and he seem to respond in kind

he was so much softer then you could of thought, and he emitted such a nice warmth

people in your world were told not to hug bears, so you werent gonna pass the chance to do so in this one

“Wha--Guoba?!” You both pause in your cuddling sensation to give Xiangling a shocked look at her interuption. Her attention had completely left the food she had been preparing previously (impressively enough her hands still seemed to be cooking it perfectly) and was focused solely on your interaction with the little guy.

“What’s the matter? Should I not be hugging him?” 

“No no! Your more then welcome too Your Grace! Well at least I say but...the last couple times Guoba completely...disregarded you! I guess I’m just shocked.” Her gaze had bashfully returned to the food, potentially embarrassed at having such an outburst in front of you.

“Well I don’t know, maybe he just needed to get used to me.” You focus back on the little guy in front of you and part of you knows thats not really the truth. He’d been so “disregarding” because it was the imposter he had been presented with, not you. He didn’t really make expression but you could tell that he was really excited to see you and be held by you. he’s so freakin cuTE-

Another part of you was thinking, surely someone must’ve seen that as strange. You thought back to the “monsters” too, someone surely must’ve picked up that the imposter being ignored by animals or attacked by “monsters” should be very suspicious. But according to this whole imposter fiasco, it wasn’t suspicious to warrant a check. 

“Here you are! A Wanmin Restaurant Boiled Fish, our speciality!” Xiangling placed the meal in front of you and gave you one of the brightest smiles you’ve ever seen, you almost had to squint at it. A mix of Guoba’s sudden acceptance of you, and trying her signature dish must be really exciting.

Sitting Guoba down in the chair next to you (to his displeasure, as he made sure you knew with an unhappy grunt) you pick up the utensils and look down at the meal in front of you. It smelled heavenly and you made sure to give it a good sniff before getting a spoonful and getting a taste.

The flavor embraced your tongue wonderfully, it was so delicious it was easy to think you wouldn’t order anything else at this establishment. I mean the characters always said Xiangling was a good cook, but this meal was just a whole other level of good.

During your food-caused glee, you didn’t take notice on how Xiangling had looked at you. She couldn’t help but think you looked especially radiant today, not to say you didn’t anytime else, but there was something about today that gave you such a...glow. Watching your eyes shut in delight, humming at the taste of the meal, she felt a warmth from your presence she hadn’t realized was lacking before. Even in a common Liyue garb, every aspect of you invited people to be enraptured by you and your presence. Her heart raced as your eyes cracked open happily to indulge in another bite. She hadn’t seen you so pleased trying food before, though she wasn’t really around to see you eatting

but the face you were making...part of her wishes you only made that face when you ate her food

she knew that if the rest of her life was spent only cooking for you, it’d be a life worth living. (she knew that before hand, but now more then ever did she feel that way)

Guoba had grumpily forced himself into your lap, making you have to scooch your chair back a bit to fit him while still eating (not that you minded, it enhanced the experience tbh)

Letting out a sigh at your full and satisfied stomach, you wrapped your arms around Guoba and buried your face into the top of his head

He let out a small sound of satisfaction, which was very cute

Gazing at Xiangling she seemed to be flustered trying to find a topic of conversation, which was kinda shocking cause she didnt seem like the type to struggle conversationally

(it was probably cause it was you)

“Bleh...I don’t really wanna go back after such a nice meal. I wanna have fuuun! Is there anything we can do that won’t get me caught?” You interrupted her internal dilemma with your own dilemma. 

How do we get more out of my time in Liyue before im wrongfully exposed?

“I know! Are Chongyun or Xingqiu busy? We can hang out with them!”

She seemed conflicted at your suggestion, probably wanting to take you back for safety reasons, but also not wanting to cut your time together short.

“And Guoba doesn’t me to go either, see?” And indeed you were correct! The bear was giving Xiangling the best puppy eyes he could while in possession of bear eyes, and you could tell it was working wonders on her

you could tell by the sudden slump of her shoulders that her internal battle had concluded, and you let a bright smile at her sheepish nods.

Now what misdeeds can you guys get into before getting caught??

[luimagines]

Soulmates from the Start Part 6

Another commission!

It's extra long this time. :D And guess who couldn't finish the story in one go like I thought I would?

Masterlist

First Chapter/ Previous Chapter/ Next Chapter

Content under the cut!

Twilight was too busy being stuck in his own head to fully take into account what was happening around him.

You had mentioned bokoblins.

Bokoblins.

You had never mentioned them before. At least not in the way that told him they were near you. You had once told him, years ago when you both were fantasizing about meeting each other, that you were far away from Hyrule. You said that you didn’t have bokoblins where you were from.

You said ‘Bokoblins suck. I didn’t think they were as big as they actually were. Did you know they smell? I feel like I’m going to pass out.’

Twilight wasn’t sure he was processing that right. It would have to have been the first time you had seen a bokoblin in person for you to say that. Bokoblins were only in Hyrule.

YOU WERE IN HYRULE.

The knowledge of being so close to you had frozen him in place. Twilight could only vaguely recognize that The Champion, with all his loyalty, was sitting next to him. He noted that the stances were eerily similar to what has happened many times before.

However this time the roles were versed.

Wild had sat him down against a tree while he kept his guard up. Twilight would be thankful later, when he was done trying to make everything make sense in his own head. The Rancher knew he was in no position to even remotely defend himself at this moment.

What else had you said? What else could he decipher if he tried hard enough?

No idea. I heard a horn and then an arrow shot by my foot. I just took off running.

Twilight wants to bite off his own tongue. Everything stopped once he heard you were in danger again. He was too focused on trying to not panic and make it worse for you. He was such a useless soulmate. Everything in his body was telling him to find you, to protect you, to hold you close and tend to every cut and cruise that would have been inflicted on you should he have been even a hair too late.

He heard a horn too but it was Hyrule, Warrior and Time that had gone to investigate the nearby monsters. It would be foolish to think that it was in any way related. 

Twilight shook his head, feeling things calm down in his head to think clearly again. It was incredible luck for you to be in Hyrule as it was. Anything more would be asking for too much. But he could work with this. He was a hunter to some degree. He was a wolf for a reason whether he liked it or not.

He was going to find you.

He was going to meet you and hug you and follow through every promise he had ever made to you since he fell in love with you.

There are a lot of them. He has to make up for lost time.

***

You all but screamed.

How is this possible? How are you here? How is he here? Wait-! You DO recognize him! You’ve seen him before!

Fully aware that you’ve been staring at the poor boy as if he had grown a second head, you give him your hand to shake. It was slow and robotic. Your limbs didn’t want to cooperate just yet.

The boy laughs under his breath as you shake hands. “I don’t bite.”

“...Right…” You force a smile on your face. It’s awkward and tight. You remember him now, even though you’re not entirely sure from what game he belongs to. His clothes and appearance are too unassuming. There’s nothing to tell him apart from all the other Links you’ve seen in your life. However, he travels with Link. Your Link. Your Link should be somewhere nearby.

Your muscles tense with the idea of getting to see him after so many years of pining. You introduce yourself to the person in front of you first and dust yourself off. Everything hurts and you’re tired. But instead your brian is now going a thousand miles a minute.

Link is here. Link is close. You’re in Hyrule. You’re in Hyrule.

The Link who is not your Link tilts his head as you speak. “That’s an unusual name. You’re not from around here, are you?”

You shake your head with a weak grin. “What gave it away? My ears?”

You tease by exposing the ears that would have no doubt made you stick out like a sore thumb in this type of world. As it stands, you figure you might as well get it out of the way as it is. You’re not entirely sure how it’ll blow over but the only person who’s even remotely connected to people with round ears is your Link. You’re hoping beyond hope that this little thing will lead him closer to you, if only so they don’t send you away immediately now that you’re saved.

“Hyrule? Find anything interesting? Where’s the person that screamed?” Another voice calls out. It’s deeper. Far more deeper than you would have anticipated, and yet, you know it too. Although far more intimately that you would have realized at first.

Within moments, a man steps into the little space you’ve found yourself in and looks you up and down. A vague sting reminds you of your current injuries but you’re struck dumb at the look of him. So familiar, yet so different. He’s younger. He’s alive.

“Hero’s Shade…” You whisper under your breath. Do you make eye contact? Is that rude? Would that be a threat? Oh my god- he’s the Hero of Time! Isn’t he related to your Link? Wouldn’t he be related to you too? Maybe? By marriage? God- you hoped so. At least in your future. It would mean that Link would have forgiven you for pushing him away and for what you still have to confess now that you’re here in person. It would be awful to do so in front of all these other people but they deserve to know.

Guilt sinks deep into your gut and you feel your face get warm at the very thought of it.

What would they think of you when you tell them?

“Do you require immediate medical assistance?” He asks you instead, unaware of the turmoil going on in your head.

You shake your head and pull your arms close to your body. He nods once and gestures for you to follow. “Come. We’ll tend to you first before we move on.”

“O-oh…” They’re taking you with them anyway? At least for now it looks like. Your feet feel like lead but you follow them.

“All clear!” A third voice calls out when you step back onto the path. He looks straight out of a model magazine if you ignore his clothing. But even with his clothing, there’s a sort of cutting edge to him that would have certainly held your attention if you didn’t instantly start comparing him to your Link. 

It felt really good to say that. Your Link. You doubted you would ever get tired of saying it like that.

However, your eyes instantly narrowed in on the scarf that he had slung around his shoulders. You don’t remember it being that big- but it takes every fiber of your being so turn your eyes away from him. Knowing him and all that he’s been through- was probably the worst one you’ve investigated. He was the one you hoped to meet the least. Should he learn, no, when he learns about the things you’ve done, he would most likely take it the hardest.

Unfortunately, you can see the moment he pinpoints your unease and tucks it into the back of his mind. You flinch. The others see that too.

“You know…” He says slowly, taking his time to walk over to you. “There aren’t a lot of people with ears like yours.”

“I’ve gathered that.” You say softly. You want to own up to what you’ve done and what you know. You want to be the adult you are and take accountability… but not yet. You have to see him first. You have to see that your soulmate is safe and real in the flesh.

The Hero of Warriors bites his lip awkwardly. You’re not sure what he’s thinking but you have the slight suspicion that none of you are on the same page. He scratches the back of his head. “I haven’t met a lot of people like you but we know a guy who grew up with cropped ears. Come form a group of them. They live in Ordon Village. Heard of it?”

You can’t help it. You perk up and your heart starts beating faster. There’s no denying your recognition, or the way your face lights up. “Yes! I do!”

This could be your ticket straight to your soulmate! And you didn’t even have to say anything yet!

“He might be a bit out of it though.” This ‘Hyrule’ Link mentions quietly. “Is this really a good idea after everything he’s going through right now?”

You bite your tongue. If this ‘he’ is who you think it is, then you have to be patient. You’ve waited years to meet him. You can wait a little bit longer.

“You know him?” The Hero of Warriors looks back to you instead of answering his friend. “He knows about everybody from his village. Name’s Link.”

You have to force yourself to nod normally and calmly. “I… should.” This is a make or break moment. Now or never. You have to be brave and face the consequences no matter what happens. “...I’d know for sure once I see his face though.”

“Very well.” The Hero of Time, albeit older and more scarred. You’re not sure why he has the Fierce Deity marking on only half of his face or why he has a scar over his eye already. “Maybe a familiar face would do him some good for a time. He needs someone other than us to talk to.”

You don’t comment, too focused on appearing normal as they begin to lead you back to where they were as a group. You faintly notice that ‘Hyrule’ (you have to figure out where he’s from or quickly before you accidentally spill any secrets he may be trying to keep) has glowing hands as you walk. Your injuries and the pain begin to fade.

So this one does magic? Which Link can heal?

You try to keep the conversation light and away from true thoughts and feelings as you nervously follow them through the forest. You didn’t think you would be so shaken by all of this. You didn’t think you would find yourself this anxiety ridden. Oh you hope that he’s here, that he will forgive you! You have to apologize for everything you never said.

***

Twilight finally managed to get a grip on himself and on reality after what felt like an eternity later.

“Hey. You ok?” Wild reaches over and pats him on the back, trying to be as soothing as possible. “Are they ok?”

“Y-yeah… I think so.” Twilight takes in a turbulent breath. “They feel… calmer. I’ve never been able to simply feel them before. They must have stopped shutting me out so much…”

“That’s great, Rancher!” Wild cries, punching him on the shoulder. It’s such a brotherly move that Twilight can’t help but smile, albeit weakly. “You’ve just hit a rough patch. It’ll all be ok in the end. You’ll see.”

Twilight coughs and nods along. “It’s something… I just hate that they were so scared for so long… I couldn’t… I can’t do anything…” He shudders. “But I think… I think they’re here. I think they’re close.”

Wild freezes in a similar fashion that Twilight had earlier. “...Are you serious?”

Now that he’s said it out loud, it feels weightier. Hearty. Real. He nods fervently as the smile on his face turns into a grin. “I am. I think they’re here, Cub. …I need to find them.”

“Then we’ll help you.” The Champion replies without hesitation. “After all of this, this is the least we can do. We’ll find them first. Everything else can wait.”

Warmth and adoration bloom in Twilight’s chest as he brings the younger hero in for a bone crushing hug. There are no words that he can say that would properly convey what he’s feeling but he’s going to fight to keep it.

There’s rustling to the side of their makeshift camp. Everyone turns to the sound with expectant eyes. Time brushes some of the brambles out of the way as Warrior comes through, stretching his arms as he goes. “Hey Rancher. We got someone we thought you’d like to meet. You up for it?”

Twilight raises an eyebrow and stands. “Depends on the per-”

The words die on his tongue. You walk in, roughed up and dirty. But beautiful. So, so beautiful.

You seem nervous as you look around. Hyrule walks around you and everyone is watching for anything to explode. You see him and suck in a breath.

You stare at each other.

Twilight thinks his heart has stopped entirely. Surely this was too easy. He had only come to the conclusion that you were in his grasp. Now you’re just here? Like that? All but plopped onto his lap to love and adore and spend the rest of his life with?

The weight of the situation seems to finally settle on everyone’s shoulders. Wild shoves Twilight forward and he stumbles from the action. He can’t even be mad. He can’t bring himself to glare at his friend. It would mean he would have to take his eyes off of you. And he refuses to do that.

“...It’s you…” The words leave him breathlessly. You’re perfect. Better than anything he could have imagined. Those visions did not do you justice. “...It’s really you…”

Suddenly you tear up and the hazy dream of it all shatters. Twilight feels like a bucket of ice water has been dumped over his head. “What is it? What’s wro-”

“LINK!” You run and jump on him, holding onto him like he’s a life line. It’s enough to knock him over and knock the wind out of him, but he’s used to a little rough and tumble. He catches you with ease, spinning to disperse the remaining momentum and holds you just as tightly as you descend into heart wrenching sobs.

It breaks his heart.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Twilight says quietly. He starts crying too. 

Everyone else is aware that this should have been a private moment but they’re too invested in this to look away now.

You pull away and cradle his face. Your fingertips are gentle but shaking. You’re drinking him in just as much as he’s drinking you in. He feels you trace the markings on his face, lip wobbling with unspoken words as fat tears continue to roll down your cheeks.

He wipes them away gently.

You sniffle, caressing him in a similar manner, no doubt wiping away his own tears he’s been set on ignoring. “I could kiss you.”

That’s all the permission he needed.

***

Link kisses you.

He’s sweet and tender and although you’ve never kissed another person before it was everything you thought it would be. You’re not sure why. It was clumsy and awkward but you were too caught up with finally being in his arms to care about it at all. It was as it should be.

You let yourself have this. You kiss him back. You hold on tightly. You run your hands through his hair and try to map him out as fast as you can before you inevitably have to explain everything.

You know this because you cried out his name.

It was a spur of the moment thing. You hadn’t intended to. Since you had never shared each other’s name, he would no doubt start to ask questions once the high dies down. It would ruin everything for you, kill you off before you had a chance to fully live through this, but you wouldn’t lie to him. You’ve done enough damage without him knowing.

So you’ll take what he gives you while he’s still willing to give it. And you’ll hold the memory close for all your future years to come when you inevitably separate.

You finally allow yourself to pull back and gulp down the air that you’ve been missing.

You’re messy and tired and you’re sure that this is going to end poorly but for the hell of it, you kiss him one more time before relaxing slightly.

Link for his part, was absolutely stunning. He was warm and solid. The arms around you spoke of pure power. His strength was no laughing matter and you knew that. You were completely caged with his grasp but instead of feeling threatened or concerned, you were at home. Every cylinder in your brain was firing off that this was where you belonged.

You have to force yourself to pull your hands away.

You sniffle, looking away from his enchantingly blue eyes. Have they always been that shade? Were they always so bright? You could have sworn they were different. You fix up his fur pelt and the collar around his tunic, trying to bring yourself back into some working order.

You feel his hands gently, almost hesitantly card through your hair and around your ears and neck- toying with the idea of feeling your skin. It fires off goosebumps over the rest of your body.

You gulp and force yourself to speak. “...I didn’t think I would ever see you in person.” Your voice gets thick with emotion. You can feel your heart betray you further, nearly sending you into another sobbing fit before you can reign it back in. “I didn’t think it was possible.”

He nods and laughs wetly as he gives in to his compulsion to play with your hair between his fingertips. “Neither did I… I was so scared I lost you.”

You shudder at the raw and thick feeling that shoots through your bond. You can feel him. It’s warm and sturdy. You think you can feel the brush of fur along your heart- a calling to the beast he holds within. It shakes you. Was this how your bond was supposed to eb from the start if you weren’t separated from realities? You take in another deep breath, the tears fall anew regardless. “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head and holds you impossibly tighter. “Never say that to me again. You have nothing to apologize for.”

You’re stunned. After everything? He was obviously frightened. And at the same time, you know that your time is up. You have to explain yourself.

“That’s not true, Link.” You sniffle, hoping that by ripping off the bandaid it would make it easier for you to heal later on. You can’t bring yourself to hide it any longer. “I have so much to apologize for.

His face crumbles as he rubs his thumb over your cheek. A deep, dark growl emanates from him as he bares his teeth. You’re not entirely sure he knew that he did that. “You’re hurt.”

It’s startling how otherly he looks in that moment- but you’re not afraid. Guilt is replaced by intrigue.

There’s so much you’d love to learn about him. But you can’t keep up this charade. It might as well be that everyone is still watching your very downfall before you could truly begin.

***

Twilight could feel himself growl before he could stop himself. You tensed up but didn’t pull away.

Good. He was worried that the effects of the magic in his life would have turned you away the second you saw it in person. He forces himself to relax. Putting aside the driving need to tear apart the very things that harmed and threatened you into shreds, he gently bonks his forehead to yours. “I forgive you.” He tells you, because it’s true. Whatever you want to apologize for- if it’s for scarring him, for blocking him out, for dropping out of your bond for those terrifying 7 hours- he forgives you. You’re here. He won’t lose you so easily now that he has you. “I don’t care about what’s happened. I’m glad I finally get to see you after so many years.”

He’s dreamed of this moment for as long as he knew you were meant to be his. He never would have imagined that it would have been under these circumstances but he can feel you. He feels you. There’s no more door in his way. There’s no more tampering the connection or even remotely trying to hold back what you’re both thinking and feeling.

You’re bright and fluttering and sharp. Like a rose if he had to pinpoint both your intricacy and your ability to put him in his place whenever he would need it. It’s almost delicate but intimidating. You could cut him in a heartbeat- but he could crush you without meaning to. The thought is exhilarating. He hadn’t imagined that the bond would have been this intimate or vulnerable.

You’re feeling guilty. So, so guilty. It’s enough to catch his heart in a vice grip and mangle it beyond its bruised exterior. He wants to wipe the sinister feeling from your heart and mind. Twilight wants to soothe all your worries and troubles with a single swipe of his hand.

He kisses your forehead. “I don’t believe you. This mess wasn’t your fault. You’re not a malicious person. I would know. We’ve been in each other’s head since we were old enough to toddle.”

The guilt gets worse and he’s questioning how he could feel everything about you but not your thoughts. Maybe he misunderstood the manner of your bond and this new strange and wild feeling.

You hang your head, hitting his chest gently as you sink into him. The feeling is good and drives itself deep into his bones. He sighs, closing his eyes to block out his unfortunate audience. You hug him and begin to shake slightly. “You don’t know what I’ve done. You don’t know what horrible thing I‘ve been keeping from you… But you have to promise me, let me explain it all first! I just-... I didn’t know at first how bad it would have been. I didn’t think it would have gone this far.”

Twilight feels his heart start pounding. He doesn’t understand. What kind of trouble did you find yourself in? “What are you talking about?” He pushes you away with his hands on your shoulders, looking deep into your eyes. “Are you in danger? Did it bring the shadow to you?”

“Shadow?” You echo weakly. You seem to get what he’s saying and shake your head. He sighs of relief but then you tense up again and wince. “Actually- maybe? I wouldn’t know. I don’t think it would work like that but I can’t be certain.”

He grits his jaw and squeezes your shoulder a little tighter- keeping a conscious decision to still be gentle with you. “Are you working against us?”

He has to ask you point blank. He has to know you got caught up with the enemy. He had thought that you were in danger before. You would have had to spill secrets to save your own life. He wouldn’t be happy with it- but he doesn’t think he would hold it against you in the long run. You had a lot of secrets to give, that he knew. You were a perfect target with zero training and zero experience. He shudders at the thought.

He wouldn’t blame you. You’re clearly beating yourself up over something and it’s tearing you apart on the inside. He can forgive you- even if it would complicate a few things.

To his surprise though- you jump, looking like you’re about to smack him for the very thought to your honor. “What? No! I would never! I would never put you in danger. I would rather pitch myself off a cliff before I ever come close to anyone wanting to hurt you.”

The spark of indignation overshadows the guilt for one bright moment and Twilight finds it himself to smile. “I know. But I had to ask.”

You huff and pout. It’s cute, Twilight thinks to himself, being careful to not send the thought your way. He chuckles and twirls your hair around his finger. It’s so soft. Softer than he would have ever imagined it to be. Would you let him brush it for you?

“I just…” You start again. Twilight sees you hype yourself up to say the words but you hang your head again, guilt creeping over the bond you share like shards of ice. “I’ve done a not good thing, Link. I… know things I shouldn’t. About you. About your friends.” You flinch violently as if you’ve finally remembered that everyone else is watching you. “I owe them an apology. I owe them all an apology. I’m worse than Cia.”

The familiar name sets a good portion of the group on edge. Twilight sees Warrior stand up straighter as a dark look comes over his eyes. Before Twilight can so much as warn the other man to back off from his soulmate, the Captain strides forward and speaks lowly. “How do you know that name?”

You start to shake again. When you speak, your voice is weak and quiet but Twilight hears it all the same. “Can we sit down?”

“Of course, darlin’. Come on.” Twilight guides you to one of the logs around the cooking fire and sits you down. He’s quick to put himself between you and Warrior just in case he tries to get any closer. 

Warrior gets the memo and doesn’t try to approach either of you any more but he crosses his arms. “There are only a very select few outside of my Hyrule that know that name.”

You flinch and bring your hands to your lap, fidgeting with your hand nervously. “I know, Link. But there are places outside of Hyrule that know that name and it’s quite common among those who know the Hero of Courage.”

Twilight feels like something is off with that sentence. Then something clicks. “I never told you my name. I was never able to, no matter how much I wanted to or how much I tried..”

You wipe your eyes and your nose with your sleeve. A long beat of silence passes. “I know… I learned it… As soon as I heard you say Midna… I managed to search for you…” You turn to him. There’s so much unspeakable emotion in your eyes. Your heart feels light but turnt in a way that’s painful for you both. “I found you, Link.”

Twilight sucks in a breath. “...what do you mean?”

“I found you.” You say again. “I found Ordon. I found Hyrule. I found the Twilight Realm. I found your story.”

He suddenly feels sick. It’s as if he’s been punched in the gut. “...What?”

You take a second to swallow your spit. You take a moment to reach for him but decide against it. Twilight reaches out for your hand anyway before you could fully take it back. He’s made his choice. He won’t let you push him away again. But he needs to process the implications of this.

There’s an even longer pause. Slowly, you squeeze his hand. He squeezes your hand back. You lick your lips and keep your head down, focusing on the way your hands are laced together. “I found your story. I found out everything. I knew how it was going to end before you even knew what it would lead up to. I …knew Midna would leave. I’m sorry, Link.”

Your hand squeezes his tighter and shakes. “I wanted to tell you. But I was scared. I was so scared. I found that no matter what I saw, what I knew, I couldn’t spoil it for you. I was worried it would hurt you in the long run. All I could do was point you in the correct direction so you wouldn’t get hurt worse.”

Twilight can feel the memories coming back to him in an avalanche of recognition. “All those puzzles…” He finds himself saying. “...I was always impressed that you could figure them out so quickly.”

“I was cheating.” You try to joke. It falls flat. “I found a walkthrough and it told me the solution. Of course I had to tell you.”

Twilight chuckles but it’s not quite where it should be. It’s not fully fake, not fully bitter, but it’s certainly toeing the line between the two of those. “...I can’t even be mad. You saved me so much time and effort.”

You whine and try to pull your hand away. He doesn’t let you. “I wish you would be. I wish you would be mad. Even if it was a little bit. I deserve it, Link. I know so much. I saw so much. You don’t even know my name yet I know your darkest secrets!”

Twilight takes a deep breath and tries to put away the sting of betrayal. It feels stupid to get upset over this. After all, you had truly helped him. Through the worst of it, you were still protecting him. “You’re my soulmate. Our bond shares thoughts and visions. You would have my secrets even if you didn’t find my story. It would be silly to be mad at you when you helped me with everything. You were my rock. My safe space. I trust you with my secrets.”

You shake your head again and choke on another sob. Twilight still doesn't understand what’s the problem. You finally look up to the rest of the group and whisper. 

“I know all your secrets too.”

[ratcandy]

Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications

So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.

Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.

But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.

Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update

So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.

It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:

"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."

--

"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."

And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):

And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!

And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.

So, let's get this straight.

Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).

There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."

Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.

Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?

but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.

And what's been revealed exactly?

Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)

Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)

It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that

His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him

"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him

Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh

They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this

Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)

And for... what?

In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me

And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)

And now why does this make me mad?

Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.

But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.

But beyond all that. But most importantly.

This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.

I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.

All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.

And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.

Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.

It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.

And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.

"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.

"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.

"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:

"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"

Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.

Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

Anyway, my point is

This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"

And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...

It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.

And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.

Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.

This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).

"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.

Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.

Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?

It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.

And I can't stand it.

[rubra-wav]

Hi I have this super specific idea if you could maybe do headcanons for it

Charlie, Lilith and Lucifer met Lucifers ex wife which Lucifer left for Lilith and she has changed alot her personality has gone from a shy submissive woman to a more independent and emotionally stronger woman (if you could maybe add the ex wife's daughter and son that are also Lucifer's which he did now about) could you make it angst and platonic thank you

Charlie, Lucifer & Lilith x Lucifer's ex!reader : 'A Changed Soul'

A/N It got a bit vague with lore at points so I'm sorry if the gaps I filled in were really off (Thinking about Lucifer giving more kids daddy issues bro 💀🧍🏻‍♂️)

She's written as an angel who's gone to hell to look at the hotel for Sera after Pentious is redeemed/ the extermination.

Also yeah ofc this is my headcanons for how Lilith acts and whatnot, could be proved absolutely wrong in S2. Never in a million years thought I'd be writing Lilith directly 😭

Cw: SFW, angst, fem!reader, platonic

Charlie

- When you show up on her doorstep, introducing yourself as (name) and as here to review the hotel, she's in awe of you frankly.

- Charlie would be shocked upon meeting you for several reasons.

- Obviously, you're her dad's ex which is extremely awkward to say the least, but also you're so much more different than what she had heard from all the rumours surrounding you.

- Charlie of course agrees to allow you to look around despite how cautious Vaggie is of you, trailing ahead of you and nervously explaining the hotel's various amenities as she went.

- She calms down slightly when you say that you don't hold anything much against her for simply being the daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. That you were just here for business and nothing more.

- At one point during the tour, you abruptly stop in front of the big family portrait of Charlie, Lucifer and Lilith, fist and jaw clenched as you look up at it.

- Charlie stands near the hall as she watches your halo glowing somewhat threateningly before you sigh deeply and calm yourself. She's sympathetic to your anger.

- It's then when Charlie is utterly horrified to learn that she actually has half siblings that she never knew about as you tell her about them.

- And that's when Lucifer himself finally shows up.

- All in all, Charlie just feels incredibly bad for you, she's not too surprised at how different you were since Lucifer left as she wasn't born at that point. She's more shocked to learn that she has family she never knew about.

Lucifer

- When Lucifer sees you in the hotel next to Charlie who ALSO looks displeased at him, he instantly starts panicking.

- "(n-name)! It's been a while- I-! Whats- uh. How have you... been?" Sweat rolls down his brow as he awkwardly grins, looking rapidly between you and his angry daughter.

- You raise a brow at him, hands on your hips as you eye him. "You mean how have I been after you left me and my kids?"

- Lucifer is floored by the tone you give him and takes a couple of seconds to truly realise how much you've changed since he was in heaven. It's clear as can be that you aren't who he used to know.

- Terrible guilt stabbed into him as he realised he was definitely the reason why your warmth and shyness had seemingly ceased to exist.

- He apologised, looking to the side while awkwardly shifting on the spot.

- Truthfully, Lucifer rightfully felt awful about what had happened. It stung to hear you refer to the kids you had together as not 'our' but solely 'my', and to see it was very obvious that you had moved on from him even if you were still pissed off.

- Lucifer naively followed Lilith away from you and look where that got him: Divorced by her, and left all alone to pick up the broken pieces.

- You shortly left after the small exchange you had with him, thanking Charlie on your way out and leaving him to deal with her confronting him about you and your kids.

Lilith

- Lilith was the last person you'd ever want to see again. However, she was a mark on the mission that Sera had given you, and you didn't want to drag out the rather unhappy trip down memory lane you'd already taken that day.

- You were already irritated as you approached Lilith to find her sipping a cocktail and reading a magazine.

- She looked up as you came to a stop about a metre from her seat. Her eyebrows instantly raised upon recognising you.

- "I have to say, it's not fun to know that the homewrecker who your husband left you and your kids for divorced him and then abandoned the daughter she had with him."

- Your words sent irritation flooding through Lilith, overpowering her surprise at your transformation and making her lip curl.

- "You ought to hold your tongue while in my presence." She coldly hissed, sitting up and folding her arms.

- The conversation with her would be even shorter then Lucifer. You simply telling her that that she ought to pay more attention to what her daughter was doing and the stir Charlie was causing for both heaven and hell alike.

- Lilith wouldn't feel a lick of remorse for her actions unlike Lucifer, and her surprise at the 180 your personality had done would be secondary. She truly doesn't care at all for what she did.

- She would be more angry than anything that you are lecturing her about what she believes is her own business and that you have the 'audacity' to address her in such a disrespectful manner.

Dramaaaaa

[peachfruitcake]

did you hear about what Martin said about Susan and Linda on the Twitter space he hosted on the 27th? i thought of you instantly when he started talking about them and have been waiting for you to post your thoughts! :-)

HEHE YES IM THE ONE WHO’S QUESTION LED TO THAT!!!!!

Now for those who didn’t listen to that space, Martin said that Linda called her to say goodbye but never specified how it went of course. Besides “hey Susan I’m leaving sorry this is really impacting my mental health�� “gaaaaaaaaaaey”/j

This is all a personal headcanon but I like to think that their friendship grew incredibly distant ever since Linda married Felix, Susan probably stopped talking to her altogether for a while and it would leave Linda very confused and upset. They might’ve started talking to eachother again a little bit as the series of events began to approach but only very brief small talk, maybe Linda complaining a little and giving Susan a few life updates and them both talking about stuff they’ve been noticing with others lately (especially Felix’s drinking), but nothing deeper than that.

I see Susan being extremely emotionally closed off to most people except maybe a select few that she knows very closely, so if you were to ask her what’s going on in her life she’d give you a very vaguely watered down version and not what’s actually going on or how she’s really managing herself emotionally.

So basically she used to be more open with Linda, but during that period she sort of just started treating her like a stranger.

So when Linda called her first to tell her that she’s finally leaving, Susan acted how she usually would, keeping it calm, understanding and respectful and wishing her luck, but she won’t really show any more than that. Or that she cried later and felt pretty bad that they couldn’t be so close anymore and that she’ll probably never be able to make up for herself acting so distant for the past many years again.

Of course this all comes from how I view Susan as a character myself though and also the fact that I refuse to pass up the idea that she has feelings for Linda. I like to think that she introduced her to Felix cuz Linda was getting more desperate to find a relationship and Susan was getting weird thoughts so in a panic she shoved her off to him so she could avoid the urges. They’ve been boiling within her since highschool and she always was able to push them aside or excuse them as “she’s just my very close friend I don’t have many close friends so she feels extra special” and as the years went by they began distracting her a lot from her work and were growing stronger and more unavoidable aaand they were really beginning to affect how she’d interact with Linda and you see Susan hates feeling like another has any control over her and Linda just wouldn’t shut up about hooooow badly she wants a relationship and hoooow many dates keep failing and Susan was at the point to where she was starting to get the kind of dreams that make you stare up at the ceiling in horror when you open your eyes in the morning so one day when she overheard Felix speaking about being single and wanting to start looking around, she decided to introduce her to him. Susan allegedly never finds a problem she can’t fix in some way so that was her solution.

They hit it off, Susan’s solution isn’t working for some reason cuz she doesn’t feel any relief at all and in fact feels worse but just sucks it up and just focuses on her work and looks the other way. Linda and Felix get married, Susan feels like throwing up the entire day and now feels somehow even more worse by now and suddenly whenever Linda wants to chat she’s suddenly always “busy” every time. Susan’s often busy anyways but you know yourself when there’s a difference between “shit I’m busy that day, let’s do Sunday instead” and “Sorry I can’t, I’m busy”, “I don’t know when I’ll be available.”

While Linda and Felix were dating, Susan probably assumed that she was just jealous that she couldn’t have a little fun at her age herself. When they got married, Susan told herself that she’s probably so depressed over it cuz it’s making her feel like she’s fallen behind others her age and that maybe she feels bitter that all of these people are moving on and going through these important life stages while she remains behind. Which made no sense otherwise cuz Susan couldn’t give any less of a fuck about starting any sort of family or going out. But that’s what Susan would tell herself that she feels so she wouldn’t have to think about it any further. By the time Susan thinks she’s over whatever it was, she begins having brief talks with Linda occasionally. Not often and still a bit distant, but way better than before.

So yeah can you imagine how shitty and guilty Susan felt that whole time of her weird bitterness toward Linda being in a relationship and not being able to approach her much anymore or how Felix turned out to be such a shitty husband.

If this headcanon is aligned with twf’s canon, she’d probably be dead before she even gets to actually acknowledge and accept her feelings as they are. Such is life though. Not like she could’ve done anything about it.

[wist-eri]

i’m not really sure about what KOSA does to censor the internet. what exactly is there to it? i’ve heard a lot of awareness posts about it but not about what it actually does

i’m just going to copy-paste and slightly edit a previous reblog i made. though i’m not too sure how completely accurate this is, hopefully this can be of help if anyone wants a bit more info or wants to write a letter on their own:

——

basically, they’re forcing companies to limit certain content based on age and what could be considered dangerous to minors. they do somewhat give examples of what’s “mature content” but 1. they’re incredibly vague and 2. they open up for many other interpretations.

they also give the state attorney general the right to file a civil lawsuit against companies they think is infringing on this and showing minors “mature content.” however, this also means that this is completely up to the state attorney + state court’s interpretation, which can VERY EASILY be influenced by personal and political views. aka, a lot of LGBTQ information and other resources can be easily censored if the state deems it unnecessary for minors (and if the state court agrees with that belief). if one state does that successfully, it causes a ripple effect. aka, this can literally lead to censorship and the bill is straight up allowing that interpretation.

and another qualm i have with the bill (other than just the censorship part): the bill also states that they want ways to verify a user’s age so that they can filter content properly. however, the only way that’s truly foolproof is LITERAL GOVERNMENT IDS. this basically means that your personal information is collected by a “covered company” (the term they use for social media platforms and stuff) and used for age verification. let me tell you i don’t think that’s a good idea AT ALL. it compromises everyone’s security, not just minors. like, what are they gonna do in the case of a data leak / security breach? how many people will have their personal information revealed and taken advantage of?

KOSA is a trojan horse with a LOT of consequences. it’s way too risky to implement into congress at this current stage, unless either of these problems can be solved through amending the bill or just straight up not approving it entirely.

ALSO: the bill is currently introduced in the SENATE and is being contemplated over. however, there’s still a lot the bill needs to do before it passes into law (house of representatives, president, etc) aka, do not stop expressing how DANGEROUS this bill is, in the case it’s passed in the senate. keep talking when it’s in the house of representatives. do what you can

THIS TOO: (https://www.stopkosa.com/)

[versegm]

Goredolf insists on meeting every new servant summoned to Chaldea.

First of all, he is literally the director; he wants people to at least have a vague idea of who he is and why he’s important here. Second of all, he almost had a heart attack the first time he walked into the cafeteria and ran into three different people wearing Koyanskaya’s face, so he wants the head’s up in case someone like Limbo or Rasputin gets summoned one day.

Unfortunately, that also means that sometimes, he gets in situations like this one.

“Hello!” The new servant makes a little wave of the hand. “I was told to come meet you after my summoning. Happy to meet you!”

They’re wearing white, loose clothes, with black streaks here and there. He is pretty sure it’s a mystic code of sorts. They have black gloves and thick boots, the kind one brings for mountain climbing.

What they do not have, however, is a head.

It’s not even a Hessian situation. There is no black hole, no void, no fog to hide the deed. The servant has legs, a stomach, a chest, a neck, and then suddenly it gets cut off part a certain point. Goredolf can see the bare flesh on the cut, the blood pumping beneath, and even a bit of spinal cord. Needless to say, it’s quite disturbing.  

“My eyes are up there, director.” The servant says with a laugh, pointing at the empty space above the that definitely does not have eyes. “You shouldn’t be staring too much. It’ll make you sick.”

Goredolf coughs into his fist. “Apologies. I did not mean to be rude. It is merely a surprising sight, as you can imagine.” Still, he can’t help sneaking another glance at that neck. “Did you die of beheading?”

“Bit of a personal question, don’t you think?” Goredolf hears a laugh at the end of their sentence, though, so they’re probably? Not offended? Where is their voice even coming from? Goredolf genuinely can’t tell. “Mostly though, I forgot what I looked like. Don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure I’ll remember eventually.”

This is either a very obvious lie, or an incredibly sad fact, so Goredolf decides not to push it. “Anyways. I am Goredolf Musik, the director of Chaldea. As they probably already told you.” He adds hastily, remembering how the servant referred to him by title earlier.

The servant’s neck bobs forward. It takes Goredolf a second to realize this is meant to be a nod. “And I am Caster of Antartica.”

Ooh. It’s one of those. Circumstances being as they are, Goredolf often finds himself forgetting that knowing a servant’s true name is kind of A Big Deal. Rare are those who stick to anonymity- and even then, Goredolf is certain they’ve already disclosed their name to the Master specifically.

Goredolf’s gaze rakes the servant up and down once more. Caster of Antartica… Someone from an expedition to the poles, perhaps? A survivor of The Terror?

He’ll have to do some research later. For now, he extends a hand to them. “Glad to have you on board.”

“Likewise.” The servant says cheerfully. They grab Goredolf’s offered palm, shake it, and-

Their hand.

Their hand

Is

Trembling.

The clothes can be changed. The face can be hidden. The voice can be tweaked. But the hands. The hands. The hands. Trembling hands, scarred hands, damaged hands. Goredolf would recognize them anywhere. No glove on this earth, no matter how thick, would be enough to hide this tremble.

Goredolf pales. “You are-”

The servant suddenly pulls on his arm, and Goredolf tumbles right into their embrace, cut mid-sentence. They wrap both arms around him into a hug, rubbing circles against his back.

“My, Director. Don’t you know it’s rude to use the wrong name when someone introduce themself as something else?”

Their voice is friendly. Their hands are warm. Goredolf feels so, so deathly cold. “But- you-”

“Am merely a heroic spirit who heard a call for help, and decided to lend a hand. That is all there is to it.” They part from him with a tap on his shoulder. If they had a face, Goredolf just know they would be smiling, with that annoying fucking smile they always use when they are profoundly sad. “Now I believe my presence is upsetting you, so I will take my leave. Hopefully our paths will never cross again.”

They turn to leave, but Goredolf grabs onto the hem of their shirt. (He doesn’t recognize this uniform. Is this what they wore, prior to the lostbelts? Is it what they will wear, in the future?) “Wait! Does… does the Master know?”

The servant pauses, and Goredolf realizes how stupid of a question that was. Of course they do. The Master is many thing- lacking in common sense, way too friendly, garbage at magecraft- but if there’s one thing they have figured out, it’s servants. Of course they would know. Of course.

“… Don’t tell them.” The servant says eventually. “To say it out loud would be to speak it into existence. So long as no one says it, we can pretend. You can grant us that small mercy, can't you? Let us pretend?”

[heyheydidjaknow]

Hello.

I don't know if you are taking requests, but if you do, I would be more than happy if you could do a one shot with L x female reader making love and then be caught during the act by some members of the Taskforce. I understand if you dont want or dont have time to write it so no pressure :)

Have a nice day.

This ask may or may not have had me in a choke hold. Possibly. Maybe. I can neither confirm nor deny. Anyways, enjoy.

This is dumb.

The statement applied to most of the things that were happening. It was dumb of you to agree to come to a foreign country because your boyfriend asked you to via letter. It was dumb of you to agree to wear a stupid mask because he was paranoid. It was dumb of you to get in the car that brought you to this giant, expensive-looking hotel, dumb of you to go through as much security as you did, and dumb of you to not even bother to buy an English-to-Japanese book so that you could at least ask the men and one woman there what all the computers were for. But you were dumb, so you showed up and introduced yourself in what you were sure was obviously bullshitted Japanese, trying not to appear as out of place as you so obviously were. Your boyfriend- who, upon your arrival, had not even bothered to look up from his computer– spoke to the group, the only indication that it had anything to do with you being his vague gestures in your direction, presumably explaining what you were doing there, only to be lead by him into a bedroom and told quietly to stay there and not come out until he said.

For a week, you had no idea what was going on, your boyfriend– who apologized endlessly for the circumstances and encouraged you to explore the city while he found some opportunity for a break– keeping you as far from the group as could reasonably be expected. From what you were able to see going to and from the building masked, they were mostly police officers, the exceptions being a nineteen-year-old boy and a girl a couple of years older than him who was, by your best estimation, in an incredibly tenuous, one-sided relationship. None of them spoke to you or looked at you longer than a few seconds, which was certainly strange but not entirely unappreciated. You figured this must be what your boyfriend did for work, so you knew the procedure; do not ask questions and keep to yourself while they did their thing.

On day eight, he managed to take some time away. He explained, first of all, that he had not invited you; Watari had insisted that you stay as “motivation, a fact which seemed to endlessly frustrate him– “Неправильно подвергать вас опасности, потому что я не мотивирован; что с ним не так?” He went on to say that he would in no way be insulted if you wished to leave, that he would take care of any fares necessary to get you out of the country safely and quietly, and that if you decided to stay you would be willingly putting yourself in mortal danger.

“Well, am I good motivation?”

“That is not the point.”

“If I’m good motivation,” you said simply, “I would rather stay.”

This was also dumb, a fact that he did not fail to point out. “If you get hurt on my account–”

“Then I’m an idiot for sticking around. That’s not your fault.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it’s not. It’s my poor decision to make.”

It was, so you stayed. This was without his open resistance and reluctance– you usually only saw him for minutes at a time– but it was— in your opinion at least— nice to spend any regular time with him at all. Despite his encouragement to be as far from him and his work as possible, you didn’t leave your room much (if only because not speaking Japanese was an issue when in Japan) and you took most of the time to catch up on your old hobbies and try out all the interesting foods that part of the city had to offer.

On day twenty, he had a night off. Not exactly a night off— he insisted it was just working in a different room— but what that meant in practice, the bit that stood out to you, was that the two of you were alone in a room with him, His focus on analyzing what looked to be financial documents while you passively watching a TV show on tape, some crime show that he openly had no interest in.

You left him alone, mostly. You had no intention of interrupting his work; the sooner he was finished, you supposed, the sooner he would take a rest. To say that the sight of him did not inspire concern— the clinical sharpness in his eye dulled by a combination of boredom, exhaustion and stress— would be a lie. You often thought that he looked more skeletal than human after particularly long times away, but he seemed spry and chipper then compared to how he was now; if you didn’t know better, you would think that his eyes were acrylic lenses.

“Is something wrong?”

You blinked. “Huh?”

“You’re staring at me.” He sounded detached. “Is there something wrong?”

You looked down at your hands. “You look horrible.”

“What else is new?”

“Worse than normal.”

“That’s rude.”

“It’s true.” You rolled over onto your stomach, your face closer to his, you laid on the bed with him sitting on the floor at the foot of it (which he did at his insistence). “You aren’t even sleeping the way you usually do. You haven’t stayed here long enough to sleep in weeks.”

“That’s because I haven't slept.”

You slid your body a bit off the bed, arms dangling towards the floor. “You don’t think you can get work done like that, can you?”

“Watch me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever, Ryuzaki.” You pressed your hands flat against the ground to keep yourself from falling over. “When were you going to tell me your name? They get to know and I don’t.”

“Never. It’s not my name.”

“That’s how people get your attention, though.”

“You didn’t want an alias.” He turned the page. “You wanted my name.”

You let yourself go down onto your forearms. “I guess that’s fair.” You were now about eye level with his lap.

“What are you doing, exactly?”

“Dunno, but I’m here now.”

He glanced over at you, face softening ever so slightly. “Tu es un beau fou.”

You met his eyes, trying and failing to hoist yourself up. “What?”

“I said you look like an idiot.”

You huffed. “Whatever.” Resigning yourself to your fate, you let yourself collapse at his side, face flat against the carpet. “The floor is very soft.”

“Good.” He took one last look at the paper, sighed, and set it aside, stretching his legs out in front of him. “How have you been?”

You managed to get yourself back into a semi-normal position. “Lonely,” you answer honestly. “It’s hard being in a country where you don’t speak the language.”

His response sounded genuine. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You smiled brightly. “This was my own decision and I’m sticking to it.”

“Stupidly.”

“That’s neither here nor there.” You waved him off. “More importantly, how come you haven’t been sleeping?”

He rested his head on your shoulder. “Work.”

“You sure do work a lot.”

“Mhm.”

“I can’t imagine you’re very efficient.”

He looked up at you. “How do you figure?”

“People aren’t typically very efficient when they’re on the brink of death all the time.”

He scoffed. “I’m not on the brink of death.” You could hear a shadow of hysteria in his voice. “I've got at least five more days before I have to deal with that, and who says I’ll live that long if I take care of myself, anyhow?” He gestured to the papers. “That’s the first time I’ve put those down in a month and I still feel like I have no time.”

You brought a hand up to his hair, scraping your fingers against his scalp gently. “I’m assuming I’m not allowed to ask what the issue is?”

“It’s not that you’re not allowed to ask. I just won’t tell you.”

You nodded, expecting as much. “Is there anything I can do?”

He smiled. “Do you know anything about how Japanese taxes work?”

“Not even a little.”

“Then probably not.” He wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his forehead into your shoulder. “I’m sorry that you were brought here.”

“I’m not.” You pressed a kiss into the top of his head. “I’m happy to spend time with you; I like knowing that you're nearby, even if I can’t really come down to talk to you.”

He exhaled slowly. “I’ve put you in a great deal of danger.”

“How do you figure?”

He paused. “I am currently working on a project that people would rather I not work on.” You could feel him take a portion of your shirt into one of his hands, playing with the fabric. “So long as I care for you and I am working on this project, your life is in danger. That’s why I told you to forget me if I didn’t come back; if someone suspected that you were involved in me and might care if I died, they would come for you too.” His arms tightened around you. “I can’t allow myself to fail. You won’t be put in danger because of me.”

You reached your other hand over, gently detangling his hair; you can’t tell when the last time he combed it out was. “So to motivate you, I’ve basically been made into a lowkey hostage?”

He nodded.

You sighed. “Well, that sucks.”

“Mhm.”

You pursed your lips together. “There’s nothing I can say that won’t either put an incredible amount of pressure on you or make you feel like shit, is there?”

“Probably not.”

“Cool, cool. So I’m probably going to die?”

“Probably.”

“Awesome.” You offered the only idea you had to improve the mood. “Wanna fuck?”

“Desperately.”

He was on top of you in an instant, your wrists pinned above your head as he seemingly tried to swallow your soul through your mouth. A free hand crept its way up your shirt, grabbing onto the flesh underneath as he pressed himself against you with fervor and desperation nearly unrecognizable to you. He has certainly grown more confident in your time together, but your boyfriend was not typically so obviously consumed by lust or fear or whatever you supposed this was, his touches always at least mildly tentative. Such was not the case now; as his lips made their way down to your neck, sucking marks into your skin, you could feel in every squeeze and tug and whimper just how needy he was, so insistent on having as much of his skin touch yours that you were forced to wonder if he thought you were ice or wax, that you would melt away otherwise. You tried to match him to the best of your ability, letting your knees fall apart so that he may press himself further against you, but in comparison to his suffocating greediness, your responses were barely anything.

An airy laugh passed your lips, chest rising and falling heavily in response to him. “You sure are eager.”

One of his hands fell to your hip, giving it a quick squeeze before taking hold of your waistband. “What gave you that impression?”

You lifted your hips to allow him to slip your shorts off. “Do you want me to—“

“No, thank you.” His response was not harsh, but it was somewhat forceful. “For tonight, I would appreciate it if you let me take the lead on this.”

You looked up at him, his face flushed with exertion and excitement, fingers twitching around your wrists in anticipation. A smile melted across your face, and craned your head upward, pressing a kiss against his cheek before relaxing back into the carpet. You wrapped your legs around his waist. “I’m all yours.”

There was a part of you that was proud; not necessarily of the fact that your boyfriend now possessed any amount of stamina, but instead that the two of you had reached a place where you were capable of making him forget everything apart from you: his work, his fears, the circumstances that brought the two of you here. You were proud of the fact that you managed to be with him for as long as you had, that despite his work he still managed to leave time for you. You loved, more than anything, that he cared for you this much, that he feared losing you as much as you did him, that your feelings were mutual.

You were not proud of the fact that the two of you were so careless as not to check whether the door was locked.

It was one sort of embarrassment to be caught being drilled into the floor by a parent, another by a friend. It was a completely separate matter to be walked in on, clinging to your lover for dear life, by his coworkers. You did not know the names of the people who found you— the blonde girl in the bad relationship, her boyfriend, a younger-looking guy with black hair— but you certainly remembered their faces after the blonde girl poked her head in, sent with the other two to check on him, only to see the two of you fucking on the floor.

You could not see his face. What you did see is the girl immediately turn around, closing the door and presumably telling the other two the situation, saving you from the embarrassment of trying to cover up for a bunch of professional-looking men. Based on the way his grip around you tightened and the way he froze in place, however, you could make a fairly accurate guess.

Seeing as he was not moving in any capacity, you gently rolled on top of him, dismounting him with a peck on the forehead. If you were not incredibly concerned for him, you would have burst out laughing at his expression; he looked as if he was experiencing every stage of grief at once, completely catatonic. You got up, grabbed your shorts, walked to the door and prepared the best acting performance of your life.

Seeing you peek out from behind the door, the blonde girl— who had obviously been having a very heated debate with her boyfriend— spun in your direction and bowed deeply. “お邪魔して申し訳ありません!” Her voice was surprisingly earnest. “お二人が恋人だったとは知りませんでした。 もし持っていたら、ノックしていたでしょう。”

You poked your head out from behind the door properly, enough so that you could still hide your boyfriend while not seeming overly suspicious. “I’m real sorry.” You smiled sheepishly. “I don’t speak Japanese. Do any of you speak English?”

“I do!” The black-haired man, the one who everyone yelled at, bowed nearly as deeply as the blonde. “We’re so sorry for interrupting. We had no idea the two of you—“

You cut him off. “We aren’t.”

The blonde girl stood up straight again, moving behind him to be beside her boyfriend. She asked him a question, and he closed his eyes, concentrating as he answered.

The incompetent man looked up. “You’re not?”

“We aren’t.” You leaned against the doorframe, still wearing a shirt. “Well, we are, but not like that.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

You smiled. “I’m his whore.”

His face warmed. “I beg your pardon?”

“He hired me.” You shrugged. “I fuck him for money.”

The boyfriend raised his hand as his coworker (?) struggled to comprehend the information he just received. “What do those words mean?”

You tilted your head to see him better. “I have sex with— what’s his name? Ryuzaki?” You gestured behind you vaguely. “I have intercourse with the other guy for money.”

He nodded seriously. “I see.” He paused. “What?”

“Well, he’s an adult man with urges and he obviously doesn’t have the time to go out and meet people.” You rubbed the back of your neck, crossing your legs. “So he hired me a bit ago to help with that. Not great in bed, but he’s a good tipper.”

The boyfriend translated. Black Hair looked oddly distressed. Blondie’s face went from confusion to amused understanding. She offered her hand to shake. “Hello!” She smiled brightly, pronunciation noticeably awkward. “I’m Misa Amane! It’s good there’s another girl here!”

“Oh, introductions.” Black Hair waved nervously, looking down at his feet. “Matsuda. Again, we are so sorry.”

“Dude, don’t even stress.” You let go of Misa’s hand. “Honest mistake; if I didn’t get the paycheck I wouldn’t think he was the type either.”

“Still,” Boyfriend cut in, “it was terribly rude of us not to knock.”

“It’s whatever, really.” You looked between the three of them. “So, did y’all need anything? I’m guessing he’d like to finish, but I can pass on a message.”

“It was nothing important!” Matsuda was quick to answer. “We just wanted to check on him since he hadn’t been out in a while!”

“Oh.” You nodded. “Cool.”

“Cool!”

“Cool.” You slowly started to close the door. “Imma do that then. Thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem!” Matsuda’s responses were obviously somewhat driven by nerves.

“Cool. Bye.” You shut the door, locked it, and sat down next to your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend looked as though someone had just told him he had a terminal illness.

“Hey, buddy.” You crisscrossed your legs. “How’s it going?”

He covered his face in his hands. His voice was dead. “Why was that the excuse you decided on?”

You shrugged. “Do you have a better explanation for why you would be plowing—“

“Please do not describe it.”

Your smile widened as you laid down next to him. “You’re going red.”

“Is that an unreasonable reaction?”

“No, but I’m going to give you shit about it anyway.”

He let out a distressed laugh. “And why is that?”

“Because I know you think I’m going to die now— which I am not— and making you embarrassed will probably help distract you.”

He rolled over to face you, hands falling away. He was, in fact, tearing up with embarrassment. “I hate that you’re right.”

“I am.” You did not bother to ask if he would like to continue, instead wrapping your arms around him and bringing his head to your chest. “Your coworkers seem nice.”

“Two of them are murderers.”

You paused at that. “Well,” you sighed, “we can’t all be perfect.”

He snorted. “You are going to die and it is absolutely going to be my fault.”

You brought a hand to his head. “Why would anyone kill some prostitute you hired? You’re rich enough to afford to get someone from a different country and it’s totally out of character to put someone you cared about genuinely into harm’s way unnecessarily; if my killer has any common sense they won’t do shit.”

“To say that he has sense is a very bold assumption.”

“Hypothetical murder man has enough sense to not be arrested for premeditated murder.”

He hugged you tightly, face buried into your shirt. “Because he’s a cheater.”

You had no idea what he was talking about. “A good cheater, apparently.”

“Do not compliment your murderer in front of me.”

You laughed airily, struggling a great deal to offer comfort considering the— by your estimation— inherent absurdity of someone murdering you of all people because of your connection to your boyfriend. “I think maybe today we should not talk about murder, considering the rest of the things going on right now.”

“I concur. Would you like to talk about your being my live-in prostitute now?”

“I think you should go to sleep.”

One of his hands slipped under your shirt, tracing shapes into your skin. “Nightmares.”

“Fair point.” You sighed. “Can you at least try and relax? I really don’t want you to keel over.”

“If I did, your chances of dying because of me would go down.”

You rolled your eyes. “The same moron that’s murdering literally just some hooker isn’t going to care if you’re dead, love.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Maybe let’s aim for both of us not dying.”

You heard him smile. “Imagine.”

It was a dumb thing to hope for. He knew that much, at least. But it was nice to pretend that it was not, that this would end in any way other than tragedy.

It was an inevitability, but one he could ignore for a night.

[oodlyenough]

I haven't bothered with posts about the anime episodes because for the most part they've been like... fine to moderately amusing and there's not really anything to say beyond that. 2x06 Sound the Turnabout Melody (what a title) was uh not like that lmao so

started off strong with that terrible Wright & Co commercial. god bless you Maya.

ever since they introduced the concept of the friendship keychains I've been wondering if Larry still has his or if Larry is a normal person and the keychains are a consequence of Phoenix and Edgeworth specifically being Like That.

I thought s1 really tried to be like "a no homo trio of besties!!!" so I assumed it was likely Larry did. instead not even 3 years later Larry is like "lmao you still have that?" and Phoenix is both embarrassed and defensive which is much better and funnier than I expected from this show lmfao god bless

Larry discovering girls while Phoenix is STILL thinking about Miles and then deciding to dedicate songs on the radio to him fahfkdhlhkhglh .... incredible. showstopping

the dedication just kept going and going, too. i thought it would end with like, 'to signal red from signal blue' but it went on and on. i know she read page one of his ten page letter. didn't even mention the illustrated annexes of red and blue holding hands 😔

edgeworth thanking phoenix aloud and meanwhile phoenix sensing a disturbance in the force and turning around to look ... lmaoooooooo?!?!?... I mean even by the high bar set by their game canon I was pretty stunned

the flipside of all the crazy but believably IC baby narumitsu stuff was I found the Von Karma stuff all kind of weird and not particularly believable/IC

I appreciate the anime making it unambiguous that Edgeworth was raised by MVK, I feel like in the games there's a bit of vagueness for no real reason despite it being the most logical explanation for everything. so that was nice. but:

as hilariously cruel as it is to imagine MVK raising this kid for three years before turfing him to an orphanage, even applying 5d chess psychological torment logic I can't really make sense of that. why would he wait that long lol. why would he have taken miles in to begin with if not part of a long-term scheme.

baby franziska was cute as hell but i think she was too nice. i totally believe she'd be obsessed with her new little brother and want his attention/approval/etc. i ...don't really believe she's emotionally equipped to go about it so sweetly, lol.

miles' prosecutor vs defense ambition arc was convoluted to me, and an example where i feel like the games already gave us reason enough for the switch (the idea that greg's murderer got away + mvk's influence) without the anime now presenting something that makes less sense. (i'm still playing AAI but i sense i'll have similar criticisms of it, as in, "you're offering me a new explanation that makes less sense than the original". a common issue for prequel media.)

the cravat-giving scene felt like it was presented very earnestly despite being objectively kind of creepy given, you know, everything.

dog person miles edgeworth REAL

why'd they name that puppy napalm 😭😭😭😭

oh most importantly THE EPISODE TAG?? LMAO? edgeworth giving them the only like on their commercial why can't i find a clip or gifset of it the people need to know NEVERMIND @camalyng has bravely answered the call with a gifset

[wastelandmoony]

Déjà Vécu: Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Twenty-Nine : Doomsday

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans, Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch Jr.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI; talk of SA and ab*se.

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

Companion Playlist

Read on AO3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 5th, 1977

Someone was launching paper airplanes at her head, and though it was incredibly distracting and annoying, she knew that if she turned around to acknowledge it, the offender (most likely Barty Crouch Jr seated two rows back) would burst out laughing. So instead, she stared ahead and tried to focus on copying down the proper ingredients for Veritaserum. Another muffled thump as the fourth airplane made contact, this time landing on the desk. On one of the wings in neat, tiny handwriting read open me.

She unfolded the parchment so cautiously she might has well have been defusing a bomb. The note written within was in the same uniform script: Meet me on the viaduct bridge after class.

The penmanship wasn’t familiar, and she didn’t share this class with any of her friends, so who could’ve written it? It definitely wasn’t Barty, mostly because she wasn’t entirely sure he could read or write. She didn’t dare turn around in fear of an onslaught of laughter or a quick jinx. Crumpling the parchment and shoving it deep into her bag, she spent the rest of Potions trying to decide if venturing across the castle after class was a smart idea.

———

It was in fact, the stupidest idea she’s probably ever had. It was fucking freezing outside, pair that with the breeze coming from the river below the bridge, and she had ceased feeling her extremities 15 minutes ago. Against her better judgement, she waited for the note’s mystery author, leg bouncing with a combination of anxiety and possible frostbite. 

After 20 minutes, she sighed, standing up and resigning to the fact that she had fallen right into the trap of some stupid little—

“Hey! I didn’t think you’d actually show up,” a voice said from behind. 

She turned to find a familiar tall, sandy blonde Slytherin boy grinning at her. 

“You wrote the note?” She narrowed her eyes, more certain than ever that this was a sick joke.

He laughed softly, the sound giving her goosebumps…and weirdly not in a bad way (she’d unpack that later), “Yeah, that was me.”

“What do you want?” She gripped the strap of her bag, white knuckled against the cold.

He dragged a hand through his hair, “I uh…I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

Her blood sizzled, “My attention? Your group of neanderthal friends have been terrorizing me since first year!”

His face fell slightly, becoming more serious, “I know, and I apologize. It might not mean much, but I always fought against them. It never felt right…at least not when it came to you.”

She shook her head, pulling her scarf tighter. She’d have liked to say that his words were believable when hell froze over but well…here they were. 

“We’ve never even been properly introduced, have we?” He smiled. His teeth were perfect.

“I’m Evan, Evan Rosier,” he held out his hand.

She stared at the gesture, then up at his face, taking in the sincerity of his expression. A light dusting of freckles covered the bridge of his nose; it reminded her vaguely of Remus. She tried to remember every time one of his friends had spat insults at her across the corridors, or thrown something at her in passing. To the best of her recollection, Evan had never actually been the aggressor. Maybe he was being genuine. She’d misjudged character in the past…look at what happened with Sirius.

She extended her hand apprehensively, watching as their palms touched. Evan smiled, lifting the back of her hand to kiss it softly. 

———

February 14th, 1977

Valentines Day was always one of her favorite holidays. Though she’d never really had an actual Valentine (save for the chocolate Remus gave her every year that he swore wasn’t for any special occasion), she’d always enjoyed the electricity that bounced around the castle. The boys always went on and on about their hatred for the day, especially Remus, who would groan all through breakfast as love notes and hearts fluttered through the air, about how the holiday was “a marketing ploy to scam poor saps”. This year however, he kept the comments to himself, opting instead to raise his eyebrows skeptically as she was tossed a small red parcel from an unfamiliar owl. 

“OOOO!” Mary screeched from down the bench, a veritable pile of sweets and cards in front of her, “Who’s it from?!”

She blushed, turning the little card over, “Evan…”

“Rosier?!” Sirius yelled across from her, bacon crumbs spilling from his mouth. Emmeline had been making herself scarce the past few weeks, the two of them fighting practically every time they were together. No one had complained, it ultimately was leading to a more normal breakfast routine.

She ignored Sirius, just as she had for the past nine or so months. Evan had approached her after their joint potions class a few weeks prior, and at first she thought it was some sick joke orchestrated by Regulus and his cronies. But he turned out to be quite sweet, and more of a gentleman than she had originally given him credit for. They’d hung out a few times, mostly just for walks around the grounds, and one date to Hogsmeade, where they’d sat at the Three Broomsticks and laughed over drinks. It felt nice to be wanted, especially by someone that she hadn’t been friends with since she was eleven. 

The little gold card held Evan’s neat handwriting, asking if she’d meet him in the north courtyard tonight after dinner for a surprise date. No further details were given, just his signature: XX - Ev.

Her heart fluttered as she turned around to find him at the Slytherin table, sitting between Barty and Regulus. He smiled when their eyes met, a wry, seductive smirk that made her head pound, even more when he winked. When she turned back, Sirius and James were staring at her, the former making a dramatic show of pretending to vomit. 

James shook his head slightly, “Be careful with that one.”

“You’re being unfair,” she snapped, opening the little parcel to reveal a box of Peppermint Toads, her favorite. She smiled, despite the four pairs of apprehensive eyes boring into her from all sides. 

“He’s an arsehole,” James said sternly, “you’ve seen what those pricks do to people they deem ‘beneath’ them.”

She rolled her eyes, “Evan doesn’t act like that anymore.”

Remus didn’t lift his eyes from his plate as he spoke, “I saw him push a fourth year into the Black Lake a month ago.” 

“Maybe they deserved it,” she said sharply, standing up quickly and gathering her things, “I wish you’d just be happy for me, and stop trying to scrutinize everything.”

“We’re not scrutinizing,” James exhaled, “we just…don’t want you to get hurt—“

“—especially by some slimy fuckin’ snake,” Sirius mumbled through a mouthful of food. 

She’d had enough.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Potter! Worry about your own girlfriend!” 

Lily’s head shot up from down the table, “Oi! Don’t bring me into this!”

“Sorry Lils,” she mumbled, turning to walk back to her common room, having had enough of her friends for the day. 

Remus grabbed her wrist before she could leave, “Are you coming to study group later?”

She wrenched her arm from his grasp, “I’ll think about it.”

Without sparing any of them another glance, she stormed out of the Great Hall.

———

Evan was always on time, it was one of the things she liked most about him, the consideration he held for her. The courtyard was quiet as she walked through, save for the few couples cuddled up in romantic bliss. Evan was leaning against the far wall leading out towards the north exit. He looked so handsome in the golden light, like something out of a romance novel or one of those old Hollywood movies her mom loved. Upon her approach, he pushed off the stone and sauntered over, smiling brightly before offering his arm. 

“Happy Valentines Day,” he spoke softly as she threaded an arm through his.

“Thank you for surprising me,” was the best she could muster. She was a little breathless at the thought of the date he had apparently planned. No one had ever done something like this for her before. It was exhilarating. 

In his other hand, Evan extending a small bouquet of daisies. The blush that erupted on her cheeks was embarrassing, but she met his eyes nonetheless and thanked him again. They strode arm in arm through the north exit, toward the road that led to Hogsmeade.

“Where’re we going?” She smelled the daisies, still not believing how lucky she was to deserve such treatment. 

Evan chuckled lightly, “It’s a surprise. You’ll love it, I promise.” He looked at her, and the sun setting in his eyes was so beautiful that she almost kissed him.

They meandered toward the town, passing the entrance to the north side of the Forbidden Forrest. Evan turned down the uneven path, deviating from the main road leading to Hogsmeade that they always took. 

“The town’s that way,” she said, pointing towards the tops of the thatched buildings in the distance, “where are you going?”

Another one of his mega-watt smiles, all perfect teeth and cunning eyes, “Shortcut. We found it last year while exploring the grounds.”

When he clocked her hesitation, Evan leaned forward and placed a hand on her cheek, “I’ve got you, don’t worry, nothing in there will touch you.” 

She didn’t get the chance to tell him that nothing in the forest scared her, because he quickly pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft, and gentle, and unhurried. It left her wanting so much more that it almost hurt when he pulled away. 

With a small smile, he tugged her towards the edge of the forest, and she followed willingly and without reservations.

Evan led her along a roughly hewn path through the trees, the sounds of birds and creatures scurrying through the foliage nearby. At the sound of a particularly loud growl from the east, she grabbed his arm on instinct. He didn’t flinch, or even seem startled, he just wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders and held her close. 

A small clearing opened to their right, surrounded by a thick cover of trees and climbing moss. Small dots of fireflies flew around the circle, dancing among the ferns and brush. It looked like something out of the fairytale books she read as a child, almost half expecting a fae prince to come and whisk her away. But then again, she had already gotten her magical realm, hadn’t she, there was no need to wish for another. She looked up at Evan, with his hair flecked gold by the fireflies, and wondered if he’d be a part of her happily ever after. Some piece of her hoped so. 

“Evan,” she gasped in wonder, “this place is—“

“—perfect.” He was staring directly at her when she turned.

He loosened the arm around her shoulders, slowly lowering it to grasp her waist. She was putty in his hands as he kissed her again slowly, quickly gaining ferocity as she dragged a hand into his hair. This was going a little fast, and for a moment the overwhelming feeling of everything became too much. Though they’d been talking for weeks, her and Evan hadn’t so much as kissed before tonight. Did she want this?

Evan let out a groan as he backed her against a tree, claiming her mouth as she opened for him. The feeling of his lips trailing down her neck sent her into outer space.

Oh.

She definitely wanted this.

She was so distracted that the footsteps on the other side of the trees barely registered. 

“—over here,” a voice said. Evan didn’t stop his ministrations, snaking a hand down to hike one of her legs over his hip. 

The footsteps grew near, their presence finally clicking as she heard another person speak again, this time much closer. 

“Evan—“ she breathed as he bit at a particularly sensitive part of her neck. He hummed in response, never ceasing. 

“Someone’s here…I hear people…” 

He didn’t respond, instead rolling his hips as she made eye contact with Barty across the clearing, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. 

“Well, well, well,” he crowed, prowling closer, hands in his pockets, “What do we have here?”

She felt Evan smile against her neck. 

“Took you long enough,” he purred, kissing her jaw one last time before turning to look at his friends. Mulciber had joined them now, followed by Regulus. She locked eyes with the latter, the usual mixture of boredom and disgust evident on his face. Suddenly she felt too hot, too exposed, too embarrassed. 

“I thought you said we were messing with my brother and his menagerie of losers,” Regulus drawled to Evan.

“We are,” he responded, “and what better way than to fuck with their little pet mudblood.”

The realization of what was happening hit her like a speeding train.

“Evan—“ her heart sank, finally seeing the cruelty ebb back into his eyes. It had been prevalent during their early time at Hogwarts, but he had gotten very good at hiding it to his advantage over the years apparently.

He looked down at her, pure predator in his gaze, “It’ll be over quicker if you don’t fight.” 

“Go fuck yourself,” she spat, trying to wriggle past him, but he was stronger and slammed her back into the tree. 

Barty pushed past Regulus and came to stand beside them. He towered over Evan, and she couldn’t help but shiver at his looming presence. She wouldn’t go down without a fight, even though the odds were very clearly not in her favor.

“Is this the only way girls will fuck you?” She tried to push through Evan again, looking at Barty’s cruel grin. He reached for her face in an effort to silence her, only to receive a hard bite to the hand.

“Fuckin’ bitch!” Barty pulled back, staring at the trickle of blood running down between his thumb and forefinger.

Evan grabbed her neck and squeezed, “You can make this easier or harder. Your choice, sweetheart.”

She whimpered, legs giving out as Barty begin groping her thigh with a hand so harsh she could feel the bruises forming already. 

When she was six, her dad hit a deer with the family car. As a child, she could never understand why the animal froze as it did, coming to a halt in the center of the street as the headlights barreled towards it, promising certain death. Her mind could never wrap around that level of primal fear.

She understood now. 

Her brain screamed at her to fight, and she knew that she should. But her body was in full arrest, rooting her to the spot. As she stood in the forest, the bark from the tree cutting into her back, she stared wide-eyed at the oncoming crash, hoping that it would end as quickly as the deer from her childhood. 

Evan began to kiss her again, only this time it was aggressive and sloppy, and she tried to pull her face away. 

She heard footsteps again. Felt a third person restrain her arms. The fireflies were gone now, leaving her alone with the four creatures that had scared them away.

She closed her eyes and began to recite the lyrics to her favorite songs, pretending she was back with her friends, safely lounging in Gryffindor Tower. 

———

Valentine’s Day was for suckers. Everybody knew that. At least Sirius thought so anyway.

Being surrounded by grandiose displays of romantic love was nauseating to put it lightly, and by the time dinner rolled around, he’d had quite enough of it. 

James had scampered off somewhere with Lily (gag), Mary was probably snogging her current boyfriend by now (double gag), and Pete was drooling over some poor Ravenclaw girl from the year below them (triple gag). Even Moony had left him, but at least it was just for a study session in the library, and not for some dumb date. He’d blown Emmeline off earlier when she asked what he had planned for Valentines Day. Apparently she didn’t share his sentiments about the bullshit holiday, leading to a tearful display on her part.

Sirius had resigned himself to the quidditch pitch, deciding that fresh air would do him some good after enduring the suffocating fumes of romance all day. He flew around the goal posts, the only person practicing tonight, the vast majority of the students paired up for the holiday, or sulking alone in their rooms. Looping down closer to the field, he leaned forward to pick up speed, pulling up as he got towards the opposite end and soaring as high as he could before the clouds overtook the view. It was quiet up here, and for the briefest moment, he felt the noise in his head stop.

As he descended to do another lap, he saw a small figure running from the north road leading from Hogsmeade. Students snuck off to town all the time, so it was wasn’t that bizarre, but the urgency is what caught his attention. Sirius returned closer to the ground, just as the figure entered the field and stopped to double over, hands on his knees. 

It was Regulus. 

“Sirius!” His voice was a strangled, out of breath from however far he had just sprinted.

Sirius landed with a thud, grimacing at his younger brother. 

“What do you want Reg,” he growled. 

His brother took a few heaving breaths, “…the forest…Evan and Barty…Mulciber…they’re going to hurt her…”

Sirius didn’t think. Didn’t even consider his broom left lying on the field.

He just began to run. 

Though winded from the first sprint, Regulus kept pace with his brother, the two of them only speaking once when Sirius demanded to be shown the way. At the entrance to the forest, Regulus skidded to a stop. 

“I said I was going back to the common room because I was bored. They can’t know I’m the one that told you, they’ll—“ 

Sirius nodded once, not needing an explanation, “Thank you, Reggie.” The sincerity in his voice was legitimate as he met his younger brother’s eyes, identical to his own.

He didn’t look back as he raced into the forest.

———

The laughter is what would haunt her.

While they stripped her and ran their hands over every inch of skin, they had laughed. Enjoying her whimpers as they called her names and threatened to do even worse things. She couldn’t think of what could be worse than this, worse than losing your humanity. Though she wanted to desperately, she didn’t cry.

At least she didn’t give them that satisfaction.

Brush crunched from a few feet away, and she prayed it was some sort of creature come to devour them all. There was a sickening crack, and suddenly the pressure of the body on her left was gone. She opened her eyes slowly, and watched as Sirius brought his fist into Evan Rosier’s nose. 

Barty was already on the ground, bleeding from his mouth, Mulciber was darting through the trees like a coward. As Evan stumbled back against a boulder, Sirius pulled out his wand and held it straight towards him.

“Leave. Now. Or I will kill you all where you fucking stand.”

His tone made her legs begin to shake; she’d never heard him speak like that.

Barty got to his feet, still cradling his jaw, and shot a glance over at his friend who was staring at Sirius with pure malice. 

“You have one chance,” Sirius’ voice was so icy and calm it scared her. 

Evan pushed off the rock and moved towards the opening of the clearing, Barty following suit. All while Sirius kept his wand fixed on the pair of them. 

“You’ll pay for this, Black,” Evan snarled.

“I’d like to see you fucking try,” a muscle in Sirius’ jaw twitched. 

The moment the two were out of sight, she broke.

She fell to her knees as both legs buckled, realizing quickly that her shirt was completely torn away, leaving only her skirt in place. Doubling over, she hugged her body tightly, the cold ground seeping into her bare legs. Everything was spinning. Her entire body becoming numb as she squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to disappear. Instinct was nagging her to move, to run as fast as she could back to the castle, back to safety, but she couldn’t bring herself to rise. Distantly through the fog, she heard her name being called.

Sirius knelt, shushing her calmly as he pulled off his red and gold striped quidditch jumper. “Hey…” he soothed, careful not to touch her, “look at me Yellowjacket.”

She looked up slowly, shivering against the chill permeating through her bones. 

“I’m going to put this on you, is that okay?” His eyes were glued to hers as he held up the jumper. 

She nodded, allowing him to pull the wool garment over her head and arms. It was warm, and a few sizes too large, but it smelled like home. The realization of his presence hit her fully, and she let out a heartbreaking sob. 

Sirius instantly gathered her in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair, voice breaking, “I’m so sorry, love.”

They knelt on the forest floor for a while, Sirius rocking her as she clung to his t-shirt. 

As her sobs eased, Sirius tilted her head back, “Let’s get you back to the castle, alright little bee?” He offered a small smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. She nodded, eyes bloodshot and hollow, allowing him to help her up. When he deemed her stable enough to walk, Sirius loosened his grip, not wanting to overstep. She didn’t let go, gripping his hand like it was the only tether keeping her moored. 

They walked back to the castle, hand in hand, her donning his jumper. And to any outsider, they looked like a couple, returning from a Valentines Day date. 

———

Sirius brought her to Gryffindor Tower, assuring her that the other boys weren’t around. The majority of her fear had dissipated, leaving just shame in its wake. She hadn’t spoken a word since they left the forest, just nodding her head numbly whenever Sirius asked her a question.

Standing in the dormitory entrance, she motioned towards Sirius’ bed, “Is it okay if I sit down?”

Her voice sounded distant and small. The rasp was more embarrassing, evidence of her unruly sobbing.

Sirius shut the door, his face falling when he heard her question.

“You’ve never needed nor asked for permission before, please don’t start now…”

He walked over to the window and opened it wide, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one with the snap of his fingers. Leaning against Remus’ bedpost, he blew a stream of smoke out into the night.

She looked around the room, between the empty beds of her best friends, “They won’t be back for a while, right?”

Sirius nodded, his face solemn and contemplative as he watched her sit uncomfortably on the edge of his mattress. He held out the cigarette towards her in a silent offering.

She nodded slowly, joining him to lean out the open window. The cold air washed over her, and despite everything that happened, the night was unfortunately beautiful. 

Sirius handed her the cigarette and she took a drag, the smoke curling around her fingertips. 

“D’you wanna talk about it?” He asked quietly, scooting closer to her against the ledge. 

She lingered on the question for a moment, passing the cigarette back. The warmth of his fingers was enough to give her the strength to speak.

“…it was all a joke,” she whispered, staring out over the now indecipherable forest. 

“What was?” Sirius exhaled out into the night, eyebrows furrowed with concern.

“Everything, all of it. The dates, the notes, the…attention,” she shook her head in disbelief, tears blurring the view of the castle grounds, “…I was so stupid.”

Sirius held the cigarette closer and she leaned in to take another drag from between his fingers. 

“You’re not stupid,” he whispered, “you’re incredible.”

The corner of her mouth quirked upward as her head rested gently against his shoulder. Sirius passed the rest of the cigarette to her to finish, and afterwards she tossed it out the window, watching as the embers ricocheted off the stone turret on its way down. 

“I should probably go back to my room,” she said quietly, playing with the sleeve of the jumper. 

Sirius shook his head adamantly, “Stay here, there’s no way I’m letting you be alone tonight.” 

The offer caused her to tear up again, “I can’t—I don’t have any clothes or—“

“Here,” he went and dug through his trunk, pulling out a pair of red and gold pajama pants, no doubt a gift from Mrs. Potter from Christmas’ past, “Keep the jumper, it looks better on you anyway. Whatever you need, I’ve got it, just please…stay here tonight.”

After showering and changing in the shared bathroom, she climbed into Sirius’ bed, burying herself beneath the covers. The boys clearly didn’t keep their room as warm as she did.

Sirius slid in beside her, closing the curtains tight and throwing up a simple warding spell. 

“Please don’t tell the others,” she whispered as they stared at each other in the dark. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, like it was calling to her. 

“Of course, anything you want,” he said, brushing back a stray piece of her hair. 

“I’m still angry at you,” she grinned slightly, shifting closer towards him, if only for the fact that she was freezing.

Sirius chuckled lowly, opening his arm to allow her in, “You can be angry as long as you want, love, just please don’t shut me out again.”

———

She woke up to James’ singing.

For a second, she couldn’t remember where she was, or what events had led her here. After a brief reprieve, the memories of the night prior came flooding back. The scent of smoke and spice provoking the realization that her face was currently buried against Sirius’ chest. He stirred, arm wrapped protectively around her waist. 

She hated how right this felt.

But what she hated even more, was how she pretended to still be asleep, so that they could stay this way a little longer.

Beyond the bed curtains, she listened to James moving about the room, still singing some Beatles song that Lily had no doubt shown him. Somewhere on the right side of the room, Remus groaned, “Prongs, I swear to everything holy, if you don’t shut the fuck up I will murder you with my bare hands.”

James laughed, “Wake up then, Moony! You’ll miss breakfast, and Merlin knows how you get when you don’t eat—ow!”

Remus must have thrown something at him, a soft thud echoing a millisecond later. Sirius began to trail his fingers up her back, and she leaned up to see him smiling, eyes still shut.

“Morning,” he rasped, completely content with their proximity.

“Pads!” James called from just outside the curtains, and she stiffened. 

Sirius didn’t remove his arm from her waist as he called back, “Yes, Potter?”

“Breakfast?”

“Got a little pissed last night, mate. Think I’m going to bunk off this morning.”

James hummed, “Suit yourself, then.”

She listened as he and (presumably) Peter left the dorm.

Remus’ voice grew closer to the bed, “Did you seriously get drunk in here alone last night? That’s a new low, even for you, Pads.”

She watched as the curtains jostled, remembering the warding spell Sirius had cast last night.

“Oi! What’re you doing?” Remus called suspiciously, finding the bed curtains unable to open.

Sirius groaned, “I’m fucking trying to sleep Moony, that’s what I’m doing, but the lot of you keep trying to disturb that!”

“Christ, mate, sorry. I’ll see you this afternoon then, yeah?” She heard him walk towards the other side of the room.

“Yeah, sure,” Sirius called, closing his eyes again and settling back against her as the door shut.

“Are you really not going to class this morning?” She murmured.

He huffed into her hair, “I’m not leaving this bed until at least noon.”

“They’ll notice I’m not at breakfast.”

Sirius hummed contently, “We can think of a lie when we wake up, Yellowjacket.”

[ahrindx]

— *waves shyly* Time to introduce myself...

Hi there everyone~! My name is Keeley, the writer behind my slightly dorky, aura-altering muse Ahrin. I'm so excited to meet you all and to get to know your characters. I haven't been in an rp group for a long time, so my skills might be a tiny bit rusty. Please drag me along and let me know how the cool kids do rp these days if I get anything wrong ;)

Ahrin is a bit of a whirlwind of kindness, stubbornness, and enthusiasm, and if she doesn't try to mother you at least once during your encounters, you'll know you've made a very rare enemy of her. She's entirely devoted to her daughter Minkyung and will often talk about her far too much - anything to avoid talking about the loss of her husband 3 years ago. If you want to get to know a little more about her, I've put together her profile here and will likely keep adding to it as I discover more about who she is

Oh look, I'm already rambling! Please find more under here...

I'm incredibly eager to plot with everyone, though I will warn you in advance: I'm much more of a "gardener" than an "architect" when writing characters. I love to throw them into situations and discover what happens without much of a plan. I will of course always start with an idea or a vague plot in mind, and I love nothing more than throwing headcanons at each other! But for this reason, my plots page is quite cryptic and open to interpretation. If you'd like to dive in and figure out our muses' stories together, please like this post and I will come and gently poke you in your inbox!

A few more ooc notes can be found here if you don't mind reading them, and Ahrin's full history will be recorded here when finished.

Without further ado... away we go~

[enquiringangel]

idea for a little drabble, and you can take whatever tone you want with it, dark or lighthearted: Max seeking out Michael or, oof, Sam, to talk to alone. Putting on airs of 'well, I just want to get to know my possible future step-sons'. Alternatively, Max wanting to introduce His Boys to Lucy and how that goes down lol. Just some ideas!

(for the record I love both of these and may do the second one later.)

paterfamilias

Sam couldn't believe his mom was making him do this. "Do I have to?" he whined, dragging his heels on the way from the car to the door of his mother's workplace.

Max may not be the head vampire, but this small redeeming feature did nothing to increase Sam's desire to spend time alone in the man's company. Which both his mother and the dork in question were keen for him to do.

Sam was aware of the irony of someone with nerdy interests like him calling someone else a dork. But if Michael were here, then he would definitely have pegged Max as a loser from fifty paces away. (Mike hadn't come home last night. Sam was worried sick about him. He didn't have time for this bullshit when he needed to be looking for his brother so he could save him before he did something stupid and irreversible.) "Yes, you do," Sam's mother said firmly as she zipped her car keys securely into her purse. "It's the least you can do to make up for your recent behavior." She gave him a look that let him know that yes, he was still definitely in trouble for that. "I thought it was incredibly sweet of Max to offer, considering that he barely knows me." His mother smiled to herself and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"But mom, what if he's a weirdo?" Sam tried to argue. "You've spent my whole life telling me not to take candy from strangers, now you're sending me off to go get ice cream with one?"

"Samuel Emerson." The sound of his full legal name from her lips was like the crack of a whip. "I don't want to hear you implying that kind of thing about Max again. He's been nothing but kind, he doesn't deserve that. Am I understood?" "...yes, Mom. Sorry." With no way out of the situation, Sam trudged after his mother feeling vaguely like someone marching to his own execution. When they got inside, Max was at the counter talking to the pretty cashier and gesticulating at one of the displays with a pen. At their entry, the bell above the door jingled and he turned. "Ah, there you are," he said, bestowing Sam's mom with a beaming, crooked smile. She ducked her face slightly and smiled coyly in return. Gross. Old people shouldn't be allowed to make eyes at each other, especially not his mother. (Even if she did look happier than he'd seen her in ages.) It was bad enough when both people involved were actually his parents, never mind this weirdly tall guy who looked like his suits were all made out of old tablecloths. Sam hovered behind his mother as she smiled and chatted with Max for a few moments, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the carpet boredly. He let his eyes wander around the video displays, lingering on a section labelled 'ADULT'. ...Wait, they rented out porn here? Sam was immediately wildly curious, having never seen anything of the kind other than dirty magazines his friends in Phoenix had swiped from their older brothers. (When Sam had gingerly searched around Michael's room all he'd found was a bunch of men's health magazines full of oily beefcakes lifting weights. Lame. There had been no time to search beneath the mattress because Mike had been coming back up the stairs and he would've shown no mercy if he'd caught Sam snooping in his room.)

He was surreptitiously craning his neck for a better look at the titles in that section when the sound of his name abruptly dragged him back to reality.

“—to go, Sam?" Max was blinking at him expectantly, a polite smile still in place.

"Uh, yeah," Sam replied, trying to sound like he'd been paying attention. He must have done okay because his mom gave him a small smile and a wave as she told them to have fun.

He doubted that, somehow.

The ice cream parlour wasn't far, just around the corner. Max gestured for him to sit in a booth and ordered them both sundaes without even consulting Sam on what he'd like on his. Rude. His righteous indignation was dampened somewhat at the sight of the towering confection Max set down in front of him - a smorgasbord of gelato, whipped cream, fudge brownie pieces, sprinkles and a drizzling of chocolate and strawberry sauces.

"Bon appetit," Max said, raising his spoon. He scooped a mouthful of ice cream into his mouth and hummed approvingly. "Mm, still good. It's been a while since I've come here. My boys are too cool to be seen with me these days."

"You have kids?" Sam asked, curious despite himself. His mom had never said anything about it.

"I have a family," Max agreed. "Five boys."

"Oh. I didn't know that." That was a lot of kids. It seemed weird Mom hadn't mentioned something like that.

"There's a lot we don't know about each other," Max said patiently. "It's why I wanted to do this. I wanted to clear the air after last night and to let you know that I'm not angry about your sabotage. I understand. Believe me, my boys have been very difficult on the matter too." He shook his head slightly and sighed.

Sam looked down at his sundae. He didn't really want anything to do with this guy and his 'I just want to be your friend' bit, but it's not like there was anything actually wrong with him other than the fact that he wasn't his father. And that their father hadn't cared enough about them to fight for visitation.

"You should eat that before it starts to melt," Max said, watching Sam closely.

Reluctantly, Sam swiped his spoon through the ice cream, making sure he got a good amount of sprinkles, both sauces, and a chunk of brownie on it before popping it into his mouth. At first contact with his tongue there was an unexpected flavor, something a little tangy and kind of salty. Maybe caramel or something? After a moment it passed, replaced by an exquisite sweetness. This was easily the best ice cream he had ever tasted - it was quite possibly the best thing he had ever tasted. Sam dug his spoon back in and leant forward, shoveling ice cream down the hatch with a soft hum of pleasure.

Across from him, Max leant back against the booth and watched him eat with a satisfied smile. "I have to say you did surprise me though, Sam. Though for future reference, garlic doesn't work that way."

Sam froze, spoon still between his lips.

Max regarded him benignly. "Bulbs of garlic don't do squat against vampires. It's the flowers that do it."

He felt light-headed and strangely incapable of the panic he should be feeling. Sam blinked down at his half-eaten and partially melting sundae, and at the streaks of brown and red sauce smeared against the glass. Not sauce.

He raised his eyes to the window and saw himself sitting alone at the booth, his reflection growing fainter by the second.

[sukirichi]

I need to stop reading your updates when im in my shift pause cause damn... 🥲🥲🥲🥲

So obviously Rin lied about everything to hurt us and make us hate him.... What i honestly... I 'understand' but at the same time... Oof... And yes ill refuse believing all that shit when he immediately after admits he wanted to marry us, and while telling iris to abort (honestly thank fuck even iris doesnt want the kid) he said let out he didnt want that to ruin his marriage.

Rin is an idiot, a confused idiot who got ruined by all this royalty shit. He didnt have a normal childhood, he didnt know what feelings actually were, convincing himself he liked iris when it was never her and now hes doing what he can to push us away so we can be happy with another, while still wanting to keep the marriage, while still aching to be with us.

Hes an idiot who didny really have to end it just cause hes not the son of the king, we would still love him.. And honestly thinking about it... Maybe it was us telling him how he liked him better when he was himself than when he was in his 'princely' mode that made him tell iris 'dont ruin my marriage' cause hr might have realized 'she loves me regardless the title.. Unlike iris'

Anyways im still hoping for Rin endgame 😭😭🤡 gotta feel like all my tears were worth it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thanks for another incredible update, sorry if i didnt make much sense in this ask ahahahah

he’s so confusing isn’t he!! but also that scene when he told iris ‘i’m not letting you ruin my marriage’ AFTER he’d told us he wants a divorce, its his way of like saying that . . . his marriage is his own completely, and its something he wants to take responsibility of - including its downfall. if the marriage is gonna fall apart, he wants it to be on his own terms, and not bcos iris was ‘messing’ with it. idk if that makes sense but rin has a mindset like that (very possessive man, oof.) and yes so true! he never had a normal childhood and was introduced to society late so there’s a lot he truly doesn’t know about </3 the queen kept him that way too, made sure he’s be innocent and naive so he wouldn’t get very absurd ideas that would be misaligned with her goals

AND OMG yes i’m so happy you noticed that detail! in their flashbacks there has already been some foreshadowing hinting that dtd!yn wouldn’t care if he wasn’t really a royal! like when she said ‘i liked you better when you more yourself and dropped the prince charming act’ + that scene when rin was like, “so you wouldn’t give me your time if i wasn’t a prince?” and we replied very vaguely, alluding that we were more interested in the man himself instead of the crown prince everyone knows! so knowing all this, maybe a sunayn endgame isn’t so impossible after all 💫🌷 they really need to just communicate fr