#this is in response to that reblog where i was like ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT MY FICS
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Random-ass fic question: Of all the scenes you have published so far, which scene was the most enjoyable to write? What was it about the scene itself, some aspect of the process, or anything else that made you enjoy it that much?
Don't do this to me mare I've published like 2.5 million words. LOL.
Rather than break down any specific scenes because holy shit, I'll just break down the TYPES of scenes that I enjoy writing and why I enjoy writing them, because ultimately my favorite scenes fall into one of the three categories.
BIG REVEALS. As you may know, I love to write big grand plots with lots of mysteries and secrets baked into the narrative, so the best part of that is getting to write the scenes where everything is laid bare. It is just so rewarding to finally drop the information I've been dancing around. (Examples include: Jester realizing that the Harpy she met in the Nightmare Forest was actually Rinna and that the party the Nein have stumbled into to confront Cree's abuser is actually a front for the Court of Nightmares in OUADYA; the Lilith and Alastor flashback in LTEDMD; the big Jayne reveal in YCDHN during the Vergessen Heist. All of these were extremely fun scenes that I had been alluding to subtly that I wanted to hit and hit hard.)
BIG DAMN HEROES MOMENTS. I talk about how much I love writing fight scenes, but the truth is that fight scenes aren't really the exciting part. It's the emotions and driving force behind them. The most fun fight scenes are always when the characters have more personal stakes and aren't just fighting because they got into a fight whoops. (Examples: the Vee Tower assault in LTEDMD, the siege of the Chantry of the Dawn and the Vergessen Heist in YCDHN, the Lavish Chateau Trap in OUADYA)
BLOODY FEELS. I don't know how to classify this, so that's the term I'm going with- feels with blood involved, whether it be a death scene, a resurrection scene, a confession or an emotional moment where one character is bleeding out. I love writing scenes where characters are experiencing heavy emotions while also heavily bleeding. They always make me cry. (Examples: Caleb's resurrection scenein OUADYA, Fjord's resurrection scene in YCDHN (also a secret scene we haven't gotten to yet), Lucifer getting repeatedly stabbed by Eve and bleeding in Charlie's arms in LTEDMD, this Stolitz scene I'm currenting working on in OWDLIF.)
This is hardly a comprehensive list, but I write SO MUCH and dear god I enjoy it at least 85% of the time, but these three tropes are usually the things I get the most excited to write and as such appear in all of my major works multiple times.
#this is in response to that reblog where i was like ASK ME ANYTHING ABOUT MY FICS#so as you can see i do always have a lot of feelings#my writing#red roses and dead things#life in the margins of redemption
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when i was a teenager my grandmother gave me dozens of skeins of yarn that i was absolutely thrilled to have but i was saving to be a better knitter and my mom threw them out before i ever got the chance (which is still to this day absolutely heart-breaking to me. like. round needles, all sorts of different types of yarn, every size needle imaginable, all gone) BUT today i was going through my grandmother’s probably three hundred sewing patterns and she’s absolutely thrilled that im at least attempting to have an interest. i am so enamored that she kept everything because truly nothing they make today is anywhere near as good and i just. ugh my grandmother has so much incredible stuff. i love that i get to share with her
#the knitting supplies thing was likely because I didn’t help my mom at all when we moved so like it was kinda my fault for being such a#spoiled and unhelpful child. so don’t judge her for giving the stuff away. just mourn with me all the nice supplies I will never have 😪#dont reblog#life of a boomerang#also I think I’ve been giving myself the wrong dose of medication but no where in my psychiatrist’s notes does it actually say a dosage#different than what I’ve been taking#so I’m like. are her notes lies or is my memory a lie?#cause I’m usually pretty responsible about this which is why I didn’t personally write anything down (idiot move)#but I literally cannot remember if I’m on 120 or 60 and I’ve only been taking 60 and I’ve felt absolutely awful like just goddamn awful#and I think it’s cause we finally got the dosage up to 120 like a week or two ago and i just accidentally packed my meds wrong#but the dosage information on the prescription says ‘60 once a day’#SO I DONT FUCKING KNOW#cause sometimes psychiatrists just don’t write it in correctly#but like that’s fucking dumb#GIVE ME THE CORRECT INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE#i need to just email her and ask but that’s embarassing
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៹࣪ ៸៸ HOME TO YOU . . . ꒱꒱
𐙚 fic ; in which quinn comes home to you after a long road trip
𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒕. quinn hughes x gf!reader 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕. fluff and domesticity. smut. mdni. 𝒙𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒊. as always reblogs and feedback is appreciated and I hope you liked it <3
Quinn steps through the door of your shared apartment, dropping his bags at the door with a thud and removing his shoes. He knows you’re going to scold him for leaving his stuff there but right now he can’t find it in himself to care if it means he gets to see you a little sooner. He lets out a big sigh as exhaustion settles into his bones. It’s the type of exhaustion that no matter the amount of sleep he got on the plane, won’t be sated until he gets into his own bed, with you.
He makes his way into the living room, where he finds you curled up on the couch with some movie softly playing in the background. His lips curl up when he hears soft snores from you, indicating you were asleep. He always tells you to go to bed but you never listen, always opting to wait up for him instead and he couldn’t be happier that you did because although he has to wake you up, it means he doesn’t have to wait a minute longer to see you.
“sweetheart,” he whispers softly, gently brushing some hair away from your face as your eyes flutter open.
“quinn…You’re home?” you ask groggily, a little disoriented and he takes a seat next to you as you sit up, pulling you into his side.
“I’m home baby,” he confirms, kissing your temple.
Both of you sit there for a few minutes, not saying anything, simply enjoying being in one another’s company for the first time in a few days.
“I put your towel in the drier, so it’s warm when you get out of the shower. I washed the sheets so the bed needs to be made, so I’m gonna do that while you take a shower and I’ll meet you in bed?” you ask and quinn’s heart grows twice the size with pure love for you.
You put his towel in the drier so it would be extra warm. You washed the sheets because you know he likes the feeling of clean sheets after a long road trip. He knows by the faint smell of ginger in the air, there’s a container of freshly baked cookies waiting for him on the kitchen counter, just like there is every time he comes home. Just like he knows you’ll be up before him tomorrow, while he sleeps in. Making him breakfast, and throwing his laundry in the wash so that he doesn’t have to worry about it.
“I’ll be quick,” he assures you, his voice a bit thick by his sudden overwhelming thoughts of love for you.
-
After his shower quinn joins you in bed, pulling you close. You turn around to look up at him, running your hands over his cheek and pulling him closer to attach your lips. A few kisses later, quinn is sitting up against the headboard, your legs on either side of his hips as you straddle him.
“I missed you,” quinn groans, head falling back as his hands squeezing your ass, pressing your clothed cores together.
“I missed you more,” you mumble against his neck, where your kisses had already begun leaving marks on his pale skin.
quinn puts both hands on your waist, lifting you up to stand on your knees as he pulls down your shorts. You help him by removing your shirt, kicking your pants off the bed and his eyes naturally fall to your breasts, buds hardening in the cold. He wraps both arms around you and pulls you closer, his face level with your chest, pressing kisses there.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs
“quinn, please. I’ve already waited long enough, please don’t make me wait any longer,” you whine and he grins up at you. Both of you aware who’s really controlling the situation despite you hovering above him.
“You’re always so desperate baby, huh? Is that what being away from me does to you? Turns you into a needy little slut?” he asks, tongue circling your nipple, his hand playing with the other one.
“Please” is your only response and quinn gives in, pushing you back a bit to remove his boxers, his only article of clothing and pulling you closer again, his hand wrapped around his dick, lining it up with your entrance.
“Only cause you asked so nicely,” he says, gripping your hips tightly as you sink down onto him. There was nothing like those first few seconds of being inside you. quinn was convinced nothing would ever compare. He wondered if lifting the Stanley Cup would bring him as much euphoria as you.
Your hands grip the headboard behind his head, causing you to bend forward, practically shoving your breasts in his face, not that he was complaining. The change in angle causing both of you to moan when he enters you again.
“Fuck baby, you always feel so good,” he groans against your skin, his hand trailing between your legs and thumb lazily rubbing circles across your clit.
“quinn,” you moan, your hands moving from the headboard to his shoulders, nails digging into his skin, leaving marks behind, just how he likes it. Your hips still, legs getting tired and unable to do much else but feel pleasure as quinn continues to rub your clit.
“That’s not nice baby, I just got home from a four game road trip and you’re making me do all the work,” he says, grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling it, causing you to arch your back. His other hand lands on your ass with an audible smack when you don’t answer.
“Can’t even be bothered to answer? Too cockdrunk to even think aren’t you sweetheart?” he asks, not giving you time to try and formulate a response before both his hands slide to your hips, lifting you up and down in time with his thrusts. You can’t do anything but take it, like a little toy for him to use. The thought sends you over the edge, causing you to clench around him and he finishes inside you.
You both sit there for a few minutes, quinn still inside you. Just being close and savoring the moment waiting for your heart rates to go down.
“I love you,” he says softly, kissing you gently.
“I love you too. Welcome home.” you whisper, kissing his chest and tucking your face in his neck while his hands rub up and down your back.
He hates going on long roadies, but he loves coming home. Warm towels. Cookies. Fresh sheets. And you.
#quinn hughes x you#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes fluff#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes x y/n#quinn hughes x reader#꒰ 📂 ꒱ — 𝓗hughes -> fics#꒰ 🗄️ ꒱ — 𝓗hughes
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HANDSY
PAIRING: Jackson! Joel Miller x afab! reader || WC: 1.2k
SYNOPSIS: Your cycle is ruining your mood, and what better thing to do than get a free massage.
CONTENT/WARNINGS: MDNI/18+. NSFW. Suggestive content. Titty massage. Slight daddy kink. Established relationship. Joel being a little bastard. Ambiguous age gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is in their 20s). Mentions of menstrual cycle and female characteristics about the chest. Banter and teasing. No use of y/n.
A/N: Alright, I'm kinda on a Joel Miller streak and I was just thinking about getting my tiddies rubbed by a man with strong & rough hands and this happened. Don't look at me like that okay, this is self indulgent and I just had to alright. Hopefully this is relatable for some of y'all lol. Shout out to everyone who has to deal with periods, you are stronger than the marines. Anyways, likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Dividers by @saradika-graphics.
➣ TLOU was created by a zionist and is based off of the Israeli occupation of Palestine. Please refer to this link to learn how you can help the Palestinian people.
NAVIGATION | MASTERLIST | AO3
Another month. Another week of unruly irritation, mood swings, and uncomfortable reactions to anything that breathed too hard or moved too fast. In the hecticness that was your current reality, dealing with the devil’s wrath was supposed to be something that slipped past your mind. Yet, in the efforts of your survival, having a menstrual cycle still took you off guard every time it came punching through your gut.
Tossing and turning in bed, you tried to get in the best position to ease your cramps by curling up in a fetal position. You thought it would make things better, but instead, the discomfort you felt all over your body pissed you off even more. A frustrated grumble filled the bedroom, flinging the sheets away and furrowing your eyebrows at the lack of relief.
Where the fuck is he?
Throwing on a pair of slippers you luckily claimed on a supply run, you shuffled down the creaky stairs of your home and wandered about until you reached the living room. Joel was hunched over his seat on the couch, currently messing with his guitar strings, aware of your presence the moment you hit the base of the stairway.
“Somethin’ wrong, sweetheart?” He questioned you as he took in your features and noticed your pout. You were upset; that was obvious when he found you in bed earlier today instead of somewhere else in the house. Simply kissing your forehead and letting you rest as best as he could, he expected you to come down to talk to him eventually when you had the energy to do so.
Joel didn’t say anything as you came closer to him without uttering a word, slipping your legs over his thick thighs and pressing your face into the curve of his neck. He put his guitar to the side and wrapped his strong arms around your waist, hands instinctively digging into your lower back where you felt the most sore. He could tell from the way you clung to him that it was that time of the month, already having gotten used to your changes in demeanor to see the signs.
“Uncomfortable?” Joel asked again, trying to get a better read on your emotions, but he only received an annoyed grunt in response. “Guess we’re just gonna sit here then.”
He ran his fingers up and down your spine, trying his best to lessen the strain you felt. He could snag some herbs to make you tea later if you were in the mood for it, but right now, a massage is what you could handle. His touch made you sigh with alleviation, focusing on the pressure points along your shoulder and backbone. Even with his attempts, the front of your body continued to ache.
“My boobs are fucking killing me.” You declared out loud, a deep rumble of a chuckle escaping from the back of his throat.
“You need me to massage them?” Joel offered, and his intention of doing that was purely to make you feel better. Though, you couldn’t ignore the slight flutter in your belly at the idea of having his hands elsewhere.
Giving him a nod, you sat straighter on his lap, holding his gaze as he slipped his hands underneath the flannel you wore and made a beeline for your chest. Joel didn’t flinch at the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra, being told once or twice how freeing it was not to have to deal with the constant friction of clothes against your heated skin.
He palmed both of your breasts and squeezed, his grip just strong enough to calm the throbbing of the swelling from your change in hormones. Your eyes closed as you focused on his touch, allowing Joel to do whatever he wanted with you, what he knew best.
“Feelin’ better?” You heard him ask, humming out in reply. He grinned at your reaction, the hum sounding close to a purr as he pawed at your chest.
Taking his hands out from underneath your—his shirt, you whined, a smirk tugging at the corners of Joel’s lips. Lifting the top of the flannel to rest on your collarbone, his attention went back to your breasts, looking at them with a mix of desire and affectionate pity.
“Poor baby. Hormones got my girl all cranky and upset.” He said, placing a soft kiss on the top of each breast before handling your body once more. You don’t know whether or not he was deliberately teasing you when you were the most vulnerable, but just hearing his voice was doing wonders to soothe your nerves.
You’ve always been fascinated with Joel’s hands since you met him, watching how he’d hold the handle of his gun or insert ammo into the magazine before reloading. His palms were rough, and his fingers were rougher, representing a man who’s lived a long life, who’s done unspeakable things to survive and get to this point. To most, they’d dislike the feeling of having so much of a contrast, but to you, the difference of his skin against yours was almost euphoric.
Joel squeezed with more purpose, focusing on tightening his grasp along the sides where the pain was the most prominent. One harsh thumb came to stroke at your sensitive nipple in gentle circles, pulling a breathless moan from between your lips. The smile on his face widened when his ears picked up the sound, moving to do a combination of deliberate squeezes and circles on the exposed nubs.
The warmth of his touch morphed into something else, need coiling in your stomach and clawing up your throat. As discretely as you could, your hips shifted further into his, craving much more than what he was giving you. Joel couldn’t help himself and brought you closer to him, grinding his hips up into yours. That got your attention, looking into his hazel eyes to find his pupils narrowly dilated.
“If you need me to rub somethin’ else, I can.” Despite the years worn on his face, he still had a certain boyish charm that jerked at your heartstrings when he flirted with you. Or, maybe it was just his southern gentleman persona, ever so willing to tend to your needs no matter what they may be.
“You’re annoying.” You mumbled to him, stubbornly refusing to outright beg for his affection, regardless of how badly you craved it.
“And you’re moody.” Joel kissed you tenderly, drawing away and snickering when you leaned forward to chase his lips for another.
“Let daddy make you feel good. Alright, darlin’?” You nodded dumbly at the proposition of getting something more than your tits massaged.
His eyes flashed with lust, making quick work to peel off the flannel and toss it to the ground. Already growing hard at the thought of having his way with you, he tilted towards you, kissing the column of your neck and letting his beard tickle your skin. You released a shaky exhale, fingers running through his graying hair and tipping your head back to grant him more access to your skin.
“Atta girl.”
©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!
#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller one shot#joel miller#joel x reader#joel x you#joel tlou#the last of us#tlou#tlou fic#tlou smut#tlou fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedrohub#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal characters#tw menstrual cycle#tw periods#ovaryacted fics#⋆♱ nic works ♱⋆
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"you, specifically, are a bad and evil person that all my posts are written to condemn" this is not what i said. i'm sorry for not being clearer. i just feel like everyone in this space, not just you, look down on people who live in the first world as people who willingly don't change anything about how the world works when it's just not that simple. i know you all love to combat this and say otherwise but it will never change the simple reality that for some people it really is very hard, if not impossible, to do anything politically, for a variety of reasons. i'm disabled, i live in a remote part of the country, and i'm bad at talking to people. i don't have the money to just move to a population center or get lessons on how to speak to people. i can't do anything and i feel like every time you or one of the other communists on tumblr talks about the imperial core, i feel like i, personally, am being held to an unreasonable standard that i would not hold anyone else to, if i were in one of your situations. obviously i want things to change. i don't want genocide to be a thing that's constantly happening, i don't want my country to have its tendrils dug into every other country, i want socialism and eventually global communism, and if i could do anything meaningful-- anything at all-- to achieve those goals i would be working on that. but right now that just is not the case for me, and i feel like i'm not alone in that either. i just wish you had like a smidgen of empathy for some of the people living here who don't fit into your stereotype of what a member of the imperial core looks like-- i'm not even trying to say that sarcastically, it genuinely feels like you all don't see us as human. like nyanguard especially seems to think of us as incapable of saving ourselves, and one of the reblogs to my first ask just said they "like to imagine that (i'm) crying as i type this". how am i supposed to react to that? is this how all of you feel about people like me? would your feelings about me change if i lived in another country, or would you find some other excuse to talk down to me? is it really just the country i live in that's the problem, here? i'm not trying to accuse you, i'm asking this question genuinely.
i know it's tempting to respond to this with a snarky comment but please just try to understand where i am coming from. i really am willing to help if i can.
i don't think any marxist seriously has a political theory of imperialism that amounts to "citizens of the imperial core simply choose not to do anything because they are all individually bad people". i mean the whole point of marxism is that economic relations are the ultimate drivers of historical change, not abstract psychological or moral qualities of people.
i'm sympathetic to your situation! the imperial core is a very atomizing place to live, and there are places and situations where there's just no practical path to getting organized and taking meaningful political action in the near future. however, your problem here is:
i feel like i, personally, am being held to an unreasonable standard that i would not hold anyone else to
nobody is posting about you, personally. like at the end of the day you have to learn to either not take posts like that personally or just block everyone who makes them to manage your own time on the computer vis a vis niceness--i don't think it's the responsibility of me or any other communist to constantly provide asterisks and carveouts that we're not talking about the Good Ones Who Have Extenuating Circumstances when we talk about the usa and its material political base.
& in the same way that you ask for empathy for your situation i would ask you to extend a level of understanding to people whose homelands and countrymen and communities have been devastated by US coups and sanctions and invasions, that they have as much a right to express the rage and fury and hurt of that cultural legacy as you do to express your own sadness about your own situation. imagine, for example, how you would feel if your grandparents could not reliably get medicine because of us sanctions. & of course the correct target for these feelings are not random usamericans--but these posts are also not serious politcal platforms, they are venting from people who live their lives under the weight of empire.
if you think what they're saying is unfair to you, then you need to develop the ability to say 'well, i understand why they would feel that way' and move on. like i understand why you are upset, and i don't say this to be dismissive, but as real advice: it is not fair (especially to bloggers from the global south) to essentially rest your happiness and self-worth at their feet and demand that they validate you.
genuinely, i hope this helps. it's all i really have to say on the matter.
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hi!! i was wondering if i could ask for some angst with all the guys ٩(◕‿◕。)۶
smthing like mc (gender neutral if possible!) going to a mission and not coming back and the guys' reactions to that ?
ty in advance (≧▽≦)
When You Don't Come Back From Your Mission- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader genre: angst no comfort a/n: hi anonnie! i hope this was okay and that you enjoy ! i'll post a part where mc/ reader comes back from the mission after a long time and maybe that would be a comfort part of this angst reaction (๑>•̀๑) i know a couple people from my inbox have requested me to write something about that and i'll get it out soon it's just sitting on my drafts but it'll be out so so soon ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) sorry lovelies i just get distracted a lot any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
Xavier:
You and Xavier weren’t assigned to this mission, which was a bummer given how often you two have been always paired for similar tasks. Your extensive training together, countless sparring sessions, and numerous times you two have spent together have created a deep bond and sense of confidence in each other’s skills. Although it was unusual to not be paired in a mission, you both trusted in your abilities and didn’t think much of it.
As he returned from picking up snacks at the convenience store, he walked into the Hunter’s Association office and was struck by the sense of panic that had been overtaken in the room. The frantic energy was evident as he overheard that your team has not given any responses or updates regarding your location. The news hit him like a jolt, nearly causing him to drop the snacks he was holding.
His gentle demeanor shifted to one of deep concern. The usual calmness in his eyes was replaced by a serious and troubled look. His universe felt like it had dimmed, knowing that the brightest star was missing from his grasp.
He demanded immediate access to the latest mission’s location, coordinates, or any relevant information. He insisted that he would take charge of the situation himself and offer no objects as they recognized the intensity in his voice.
He internally blamed himself for not coming sooner. Every path he takes as he travels to find you, only fuels the sense of urgency and concern to find your and ensure your safety.
Zayne:
Zayne has always trusted in your abilities and knew what you were capable of. Each mission, he knew you could handle it with ease and he had faith that you would come back. As always, before he left he would always remind you, “Stay safe and don’t do anything reckless. I don’t want to see you back in my office with another injury.”
Normally, your absences were brief and he would patiently wait for your return, eager to hear the absurd stories of your missions, but this time something felt different. Something he couldn’t quite place. The days dragged on longer than usual and the silence from you was unsettling.
He tried to distract himself with paperwork and tending to patience but his anxiety gnawed at him, thinking of what had happened to you. A mission shouldn’t take this long, especially for someone as skilled as you.
Every day he would send a text and sometimes they were random. Sometimes they were filled with encouragement or updates about small things in his life, in hopes to get a response from you. However, each message he sent was always left unanswered which fueled his growing concern. He began to doubt if you were ignoring him or if something far worse had happened.
Unable to contain his worry any longer, he drove to your house and knocked on your door unannounced. The minutes stretched into an agonizing wait and when there was no response. His heart that had been warmed by your presence has now gripped by icy fear.
Each day he has desperately waited for any responses and any updates from the Hunter’s Association about your well-being. The longer he had to wait, the more he was determined to join the battlefield himself in desperation to find you again.
Rafayel:
Ever since you departed on your mission, he would be counting the seconds, minutes, and days until your return. It’s something he would usually do when you leave for a mission. Time passed by slowly in your absence and he tried to distract himself by visiting the beach or working on new sketches, hoping to find a spark of inspiration for his next piece. Yet, inspiration was difficult when his greatest muse was missing for a few days
A few days. What began to be a few days stretched into a week and more. His concern grew as your silence and absence in his life persisted. Normally, you would have responded to any of his texts or calls even amid the chaos of your missions. But now, this mission was different. His phone never lit up from any notifications from you and your absence gnawed at him.
His distress was evident. His meticulously groomed appearance had unraveled. His hair was disheveled and his outfits mismatched. The studio that was usually a bright haven of creativity had become a reflection of his inner turmoil. The room was shrouded in shadows, and canvases were marred with erratic splashes of paint and frustrated strokes.
'Missing you comes in waves and tonight I am drowning.'
He was spiraling and grew relentless, digging up any lead and rumor of information about your mission. Whatever happened to you, someone was going to pay. He doesn’t care if the bounty on his head catches up to him. He’ll try to find you no matter what, even if it takes him another 800 years.
Sylus:
He knew you were a skilled Hunter so initially he dismissed your absence as just another routine mission. He assumed he would see you again soon in a couple of days and began making plans for the two of you to relax and enjoy when you returned.
However as days turned into a week without any responses to his text or voice messages, his calm demeanor began to crumble. Your status on DeepSpace hadn’t been updated since the last time you had talked and it never showed that you read his messages. His unease deepened when Mephisto reported that he had been unable to locate you.
The growing anxiety and frustrations were impossible for him to contain. He had tried to rush to the location of your mission only to find no trace of you there. His office became a battleground of his conflicted emotions. He cursed himself for being so careless about you.
Luke and Kieran could only witness the storm of anger and worry from a distance. They dared not to approach him during the moments of his intense agitation. They understand as they miss you as well but they could only wish they could do so much to help find you.
He figures he has to take matters into his own hands no matter the cost. Your little Hunter’s Association could only do so much but many do not understand how much power, influence, and resources Sylus has at his disposal. He doesn’t care if he has to get his hands dirty, he will have to do anything to find his little dove back in his arms again.
#xavier x reader#xavier x you#xavier x y/n#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#xavier lads#zayne lads#rafayel lads#sylus lads#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace scenarios#lads x you#lads x reader
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BEKKATHYST 10th Business Anniversary Giveaway!
~This giveaway is in no way affiliated with Tumblr.~
Please read thoroughly before entering!
Hello lovely Tumblr folk! It’s that time again- I have a giveaway for you all. This one is extra special because my business/shop turned 10 years old earlier this year! 💜
We have an online store that could use your support!
You can also find us on Instagram.
About us: My business is a small, family-run establishment that I started here on tumblr in 2013. I’ve been lucky enough to grow to the point where this supports me, my partner, and our daughter. In the US we also had a brick-and-mortar shop in which I employed my mom and a few of my siblings. However, we closed it to be able to move to Austria, my home country! 💜 I strived to put compassion and ethics above all else in my business, and I hope that shines through. We have a website but also run many fun sales directly here on Tumblr!
One of our long-term customers graciously asked to sponsor this giveaway, so I'd like to give a huge thank you to @classicintp !! Also thank you to everyone who voted on which crystal should be featured in the giveaway. Opal won in a landslide!
This giveaway will have two winners.
What the first winner receives:
The two amazing specimens of opal shown above! The darker piece is a boulder opal from Australia with a hole drilled through it (so it can be worn as a necklace) and the lighter piece is a massive rough chunk of welo opal from Ethiopia. The retail value of both of these opals is approximately $650.
What the second winner receives:
A $50 gift card that can be used for our online store or tumblr sales!
Rules:
You must be 16 or older. (If under 18 you MUST have parent’s permission)
You can be from anywhere in the world! I am shipping from Austria.
Shipping is entirely free, I will cover it. But if you live in a country that charges import tax on gifts, you are responsible for it. If it gets sent back to me, you will need to pay shipping to have it sent again.
You must be following me, so you can get updates if anything about the giveaway changes.
Please check out our online shop!
Reblog this post to enter. Likes count as additional entries. No giveaway or spam blogs. If you reblog on a side blog, let me know in the tags what the name of your blog is that you’re following me with.
Please don’t spam people with reblogs- limit 2 reblogs per blog per day.
At the end, each entry will be assigned a number and the winner will be chosen by a random number generator.
The giveaway ends Tuesday, August 1st, 2023.
The winners will be messaged and must respond with their full name and address within 24 hours, or a new winner will be chosen.
Please respect me and my rules, and have fun!
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Okay, this is it.
It's been ten years of fucked-up, and it's been ramping up more and more over the last three since I came out. Between getting used emotionally and financially to be the sole support for this family, Getting harmed daily by a kid that I want to love and support but who can't understand who this stranger is that replace his dad and more and more things on top of it. To the point where I've had no resources, barely any energy to work or function, and near constantly hit adrenaline rush responses at random loud noises. But things are moving forward. Monday, my son moves into care that's well-equipped for him, and they'll be better for him than I ever will be at this point or any time in the future. My oldest kid is old enough to be independent and start doing their own thing enough to get out of here. I don't have to worry about or protect them.
I can get out. Just move, on my own, find a safe place and rest and heal. Finally. Just, I have zero resources to do it with. The last decade has fucked my credit and rental history badly, I'm sure, as well. Which means finding a place within my normal budget and sweetening the pot by pre-paying as many extra months as I can. Plus that way I can be covered for housing during my transition surgery recoveries, since this family and apartment managed to drain every last cent from my transition fund to keep from becoming unhoused. And it'll mean me having to do a lot less asking for support and help, because I won't be supporting four people on one income any longer. But all of that means I need to get money together. Quick. And a lot. At least 5k, if not closer to ten. So, yeah, I'm asking for help again. To donate: http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts
If you want to get something in return for helping, there's also always http://tormentedartifacts.com but I'll be clear. Anything big ordered right now is likely not happening until after I move, if not after my surgery recovery, since I won't be able to sit fully upright or work for a big chunk of that. Which means you may not see it until next year.
But anything helps. Please. Even just five bucks. And so does reblogging and sharing this wherever you can. So, if you do, thanks.
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Wicked Games 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: non/dubcon, cheating, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Steve Rogers
Summary: you had a one night stand. Or did you?
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Your phone wakes you. The room tilts as you open your eyes. A dull hammering thrums in your temples. The morning light makes your brain rough as sand paper.
Dregs of vodka stick to your dry tongue. The hangover weighs you down like an anchor. Just the thought of moving hurts.
You reach blindly for your jittering phone. Bubbly music tinkles from the speaker. Shit. It's Barrett. What did he forget this time?
You answer and put your clammy palm to your forehead. You squint at the ceiling then your eyes slowly round. Where the fuck are you?
"Hey, babe. You at Wendy's?" Your husband asks.
You gulp and peel your tongue off the roof of your mouth. This isn't Wendy's house.
"Yep," you croak. Your eyes ping side to side.
"Look, I'm sorry about last night. Things got heated and I know I was an ass--"
You cough as you sit up in the strange bed. "Yeah, you were."
"So why don't you come home and we can talk it out."
You peer around the room and your lips curve in a frown. Where the hell would you go besides home your loyal best friend's? You scratch you scalp and turn your legs over the edge of the bed, "let me get myself together."
"Babe. Please. I'm sorry."
"When I get home." You hang up.
It was a hell of fight. The minute he started yelling, you bailed. He knows better. You're not doing a ten hour day and coming home his nagging. So you left out your coffee mug. Big deal. You didn't say anything about the garbage bag he left out to be torn apart by raccoons.
Whatever. Fighting over dishes. Not of it matters right now.
Your clothes are on the floor. Someone's floor. Who it is is far from the point. You stand and stagger. You catch yourself on the nightstand. Your hand moves instinctively between your legs.
You're naked and tender. Did you have sex?
Think! You ran out with your purse. You went to Wendy's. She was up for a night out. A night to forget and body did you. First drink, second, third, then it gets blurry.
Fuck! You didn't. You wouldn't. You're pissed at your husband but you wouldn't cheat on him. You're not that type of person. Right?
You don't have time for that. You have to get out of here.
You dress as you search the room. It's tidy. Half the bed is mad and the other half messed from your drunken slumber.
You shake out your hands trying to shoo away the flurry of guilt and denial. Just get out. You'll think better with some coffee in your system.
You push down the door handle slowly. You listen to the silence of the hall. You tiptoe out warily, checking left and right as you advance. It's a nice place. A condo. Much nicer than your cramped one bedroom.
Not important!
You come out into the spacious front room. It's as empry as the rest of the place. The kitchen too. The bathroom. No one.
Your purse is by the door. Your shoes too. You grab both and let yourself out. You'd rather not face your mistake.
No, you didn't do anything. You wouldn't.
You hurry down the hallway to the elevators. You don't look back, just keep going. You don't think, just go.
It isn't until you're outside the familiar cafe marquee that your let your mind settle. You enter and join the queue. Your order a black coffee and drink it at a stool by the window.
You lean your elbows on the high table that stands inside the pane. You take a slow, savouring swig of coffee and let it trickle down your throat. You shield your face from the New York morning and put your hands over your ears.
You can't remember anything but Wendy. Your anger had you ordering round after round, trying to drown out the bile. The thought makes your stomach lurch and you gulp thickly.
You shake your head and groan. Your phone chirps. It's probably Barrett. Several messages from him and missed calls. All through the night. It's bad enough you betrayed him, you had him up worrying.
No, you didn't!
It can't have happened if you don't remember it. A generous stranger took you home so you didn't wake up on the curb. That's it.
That's the story. Nothing happened. And you'll let Barret believe you were with Wendy. It won't make a difference.
Your mind is set. Nothing happened.
Nothing. Happened.
Because you don't remember. Because you were too drunk to do that. Because you're married and it can't happen.
You're going to finish your coffee and go home. Everything will be just like it was before... after you tell Barrett where to put that coffee mug if it's such a big deal.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#series#drabble#wicked games#marvel#avengers#captain america#mcu
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pretty little wife | better now
joel miller x f!reader one shot collection
series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 summary: 3.9k words, a snippet of a day in the life of husband! joel and his lovely housewife | no apocalypse au, no use of y/n warnings: 18+ MDNI! pre-established relationship/dynamic, unprotected piv, rough sex, free use kink, sub/dom relationship, cum play, spit kink, exhibition kink, dirty talk, pet names for reader, brief mention of alcohol, generally extremely submissive reader so if you're into that this is for you! a/n: not pretending this is anything other than some little fantasy i had that i needed to write out. i'm really excited about this one shot series for husband!joel though, i have some really fun (and depraved) ideas planned for these two for future blurbs so stayed tuned if you like this one! reblogs + comments are always loved and appreciated! ♡
i've decided to start a kofi in case anyone wants to consider a small donation to support my work! ♡
How’s my pretty little wife today?
The words you look forward to each day, falling from your husbands lips in some form or another, whether it’s rasped tenderly in your ear, from between your legs as he smirks up at you, or from over your shoulder as he slams his cock into you, sending you to heaven and back down as soon as he can after walking in the door after work.
Joel asks the question today after walking up behind you in the backyard, his mouth already next to your ear, warm breath tickling along your skin there as he brushes your hair over your shoulder. The wiry texture of his beard nuzzles right into your neck, sending a thrill down your spine as his arms slide around your waist and hold you tightly to him, swaying you back and forth. The motion is soothing, reminding you that you’re right where you’re meant to be.
You can smell the workday on him - sweat and dirt and the outdoors, and the lingering scent of the cologne you’d given him this past Christmas. He’d sprayed it on this morning, as he does every morning since you bought it for him. Makes me think of you all day, he’d remind you while you’d watched from your bed with a teasing smile, sheet disheveled and draped over your naked body.
You breathe all of it in, savoring this scent unique to your husband, before touching your hand to where his rests around your belly and stroking it gently.
“Better now,” you answer. More times than not, that’s your response to his routine question, knowing it drives him wild, makes a long day of work ache a little less when he hears you say it.
“S’what I like to hear,” he says, a kiss on your neck leading up to your lips - a long, deep, ravenous kiss that already leaves you breathless. He pulls away so suddenly you nearly have whiplash, your head falling slightly into nothing, missing his lips.
“Smells good out here,” Joel comments, turning his nose up in the air slightly. “Usin’ the new pizza oven already?”
When you’d made a passing comment about wishing you could make wood fired pizzas at home, just like the ones a restaurant in town serves, Joel seemed to take it seriously, as he did with most things involving your wishes and desires. The next weekend, he’d hauled in bricks and began his work. You’d stepped out into the yard when you heard all the commotion, giving him a quizzical stare, and he’d simply grinned and shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world that he should be building his wife a pizza oven. You’d nearly teared up, feeling grateful and giddy with excitement at your new toy to experiment with.
Within a few weekends, Joel had finished his new project, always seeming to need one to have around the house, wiping the sweat off his forehead and gleaming with pride at it as he showed you the final product. You’d practically jumped for joy but settled on flinging yourself into his arms to show your appreciation. When that had turned into him fucking you on top of the kitchen counter moments later after he went inside to fetch a cold drink, you hadn’t minded one bit.
“I couldn’t wait,” you say with a grin. When Joel nuzzles your neck again you start to lose your train of thought. His lips press a gentle kiss right on your pulse point, and you sigh into it. “T-trying out margherita today,” you manage to squeak out.
“Hmm,” Joel says, seemingly contemplating the flavor choice in between latching his lips on your neck and sucking, marking you over and over. You’re sure the ones from mere days ago haven’t faded all the way, a smattering of them going right down to your tits, but Joel always needs a fresh mark on you as soon as they start to fade, a way for you to always remember you’re his. He grinds his hard length into your back on the next touch of his lips, and you arch into it a little, your cunt starting to ache more needily for him.
“F-fresh basil… from the… gar-” you gasp as he pulls you completely flush against his cock, letting out a little, devious laugh.
“Sounds fuckin’ delicious, baby,” he replies. His fingers reach down and toy with the front hem of your dress, delicately sliding his calloused fingers up your thighs, bunching the fabric as he goes. The warmth of his hands on your bare skin blazes a trail up to the apex of your thighs, finally cupping a hand around your warm heat. You instinctively grind into the heel of his hand, and can practically feel Joel smirking behind you. His fingers brush the outside of your panties, starting to rub circles on the wet fabric. He lets out a low growl, deep and needy in the back of his throat feeling the evidence of how much you’d anticipated him coming home.
“So wet for me already, huh, doll? Couldn’t wait f’me to get home ‘n take care of ya, I bet,” Joel taunts in your ear before sucking on the lobe, and you’ve gone breathless now, nodding your head. His fingers tease the edge of your panties again, finally slipping one underneath the fabric, feeling the obscenity of your wetness directly, and he lets out an impressed tut, sucking in air between his teeth. You nearly moan out at the smallest touch he’s giving you, the way his rough, worn fingers gently brush over your clit for just a split second.
“She’s so needy, ain’t she?” Joel coos in your ear, swiping a finger to your entrance and back to your clit. You can feel how slickness quickly gathers on Joel’s digits as he teases you. You squeeze your eyes shut and lean back into him, letting your head drop to his shoulder as pleasure wracks your body already.
“Mhm… needs you,” you murmur, turning your head towards his where he meets your lips, continuing steady strokes on your aching bundle of nerves. His lips are softer than you’d think, looking at the hardened grump behind them, but like so many parts of Joel, they are only soft for you.
“Needy, needy girl… good thing I’ve been thinkin’ about gettin’ my cock in that little cunt of yours all day.”
“A-all day?” you say with a little smirk, rutting your ass back into his throbbing length, and Joel groans with the friction.
“Second I pulled out of it this mornin’,” he replies, low voice drumming against your skin, and you shudder, desperate for what you know he’s about to do.
Another routine of yours - Joel comes home from work, and more days than not, he fucks you. And you enjoy every second of it, basking in the attention and his cock filling you up in the way nobody and nothing else can. You crave him night and day, never having gotten your fill, wondering if you ever could. His hunger for you in return only fuels the fire, a vicious circle the two of you seem to have no intention of breaking.
Your weakness lies completely in the man standing behind you, burying his fingers in between your legs and making you moan out wildly before he’s even had his way with you.
“Fuck, gotta get this cock in you, baby, split you open f’me so good, fuck you stupid,” Joel grunts suddenly, interrupting your swirling thoughts, withdrawing his fingers in a flash and leaving you whimpering. It’s not fair, the way he affects you.
Nobody should have this power over you, but the minute you’d met Joel, you couldn’t deny the way he’d made you feel. Masculine and warm, rough hands and broad shoulders that you’d clung to that same night you’d met him in a bar, fucking mere hours later in the bathroom. Even in your drunken haze you’d submitted to him fully, Joel having no problem ordering and throwing you around the bathroom like you were just a toy to play with, his little doll. You’d found that you could never look back after that night, the safety he represented to you, the adoration he showered you with, the way he fucked you like it was his last time every time. When Joel saw how willing you were to be his in the way he craved from a woman, there was no stopping the insatiable beast he became, hellbent on never letting another man feel your touch again. Joel promised you a good life, an amazing life, even, and in the last few years, he had more than delivered for you.
“Hush now, you’ll have what you want in a second,” he says, running a quick stroke of his fingers through your hair, giving it a tug. On principle, you let out a little mewl at the sensation, too many instances of your hair being tugged and pulled with Joel involved to not recall those memories with the pain of it. You hear the jangle of his belt as he frees himself from his jeans, the familiar sound of Joel’s thick, heavy cock slapping against his hand as he fists it. You’re already cock drunk without having seen the damn thing yet, and it’s nearly laughable how pliable you are when Joel’s involved. It’s always been that way - you’ve been happy to oblige his every desire, no matter when, where, how he wanted it, or the frequency. You were his to use, to pleasure, to fuck senseless, and you got off on the way all of it steadily built his need for you just as much as it did with your need for him.
“Please…” you whine, trying to slip out of his grasp and start for the sliding glass door to the house, making the assumption that he’d be taking you inside at any moment to take what he needed from you.
Joel immediately tightens his hold on you, a dark tut in your ear that goes straight to your clit.
“Not so fast, little doll,” he croons, hand grabbing your cunt through your dress again to hold you to him. “Right here,” he adds on, turning your body towards the outdoor dining table in the backyard.
“J-Joel… right here?” you question, knowing you shouldn’t. It won’t matter anyways. “The… t-the neighbors…” you whimper quietly as Joel crowds you against the table, tearing your dress up over your ass, revealing your lacy little thong to him. He groans at the sight of your bare ass ready for him to claim before roughly shimmying your underwear halfway down your thighs. He places a rough hand on your back, pressing you down into the table so that you’re completely bent over, your hands splaying out into the wood to support yourself.
“Let them see…” Joel says quietly, a heady murmur as he slips his cock between your thighs and notches himself at your weeping entrance. “Let them see how much I love fuckin’ my wife.” He pushes in on the last sentence, and you gasp at the stretch and burn of his girth. Your vision goes white for a moment with the mix of pure pain and pleasure, and your mouth hangs open, panting in delight as he fills you inch by inch.
“Mmm… such a sweet little pussy, honey…” Joel says quietly once he’s seated fully inside of you. He’s just as lost in the bliss of it as you are. “Know I’d fuckin’ live right here if I could.”
You give him a little moan of satisfaction, wiggling your hips to give yourself any sensation of movement from his cock. He places his hands on either side of your hips, squeezing his grip tightly enough to bruise before starting to thrust himself into you. You cry out in a yelp, the noise passing though your lips before you can even control it.
“Yeah…” you whimper, face pressed against the table, trying to peek up as Joel looms above you, like some higher being that has the power to decide your fate, to decide the pleasure or pain you’ll have to endure in this moment. And truthfully, you do worship him. The way he moves inside of you, makes you crumble underneath even the lightest of his touches. The way he spoils you in every regard - you’ve never wanted for a single thing for as long as you’ve been Joel’s, him vowing to take care of everything you ever need, and in return, you take care of everything he needs.
To some, it might seem like there’s a lack of balance in the way you do things, but fuck do you love it, you think as you desperately cling onto the table, manicured nails digging into the wood as Joel’s cock rams back into you, pressing so deep inside of you that you see stars.
You let out a low, strangled sound, whining as Joel begins to press against your cervix, the front of your thighs bumping into the table with every new thrust from him. He grunts with the exertion, fucking into you hard, taking what he wants, leaving you both breathless with the need for more of each other. You let Joel take and take and take because of how much he gives in return - while he loves to use you, he always makes sure you get every bit of pleasure you deserve for being so good to him.
When you continuously moan louder as Joel fucks you towards your high, you glance around, the small sliver of your brain that’s still rational worried about you two getting caught by your neighbors. The thought is equally mortifying as it is thrilling, but you decide you’d rather not deal with the embarrassment today if you can help it.
“Still worried about the neighbors, hm, pretty girl? I’ve got an idea,” Joel says, responding to your sudden nervousness. Before you can even answer, his hands are wrapping around your shoulders, urging you up from the table. You follow along, breathless and dazed, letting him move you as he wishes, too deliriously starry eyed for him to care about anything else other than what Joel is gearing up to do to you next.
He accidentally slides out with the movement of your body, and immediately he’s grasping at your hips, practically clawing his way back to you as he pulls you tight to his body again. His throbbing, dripping cock slaps periodically against your ass as he shoves you forward, pushing your body towards the house.
“Here,” he grits out, suddenly crowding your body from behind to press you against the sliding glass door. “That better?”
“I- yes,” you say, eyes wide from the way you’d been roughly handled by him the last few moments. Your cunt aches almost painfully, having been getting so close to your climax only to have it ripped away suddenly when Joel decided to move you.
“Good,” he snips quietly. “Couldn’t stand to keep this cock out of you much longer’n this.”
With his words he brings his lips to the back of your neck again, just his heavy breathing fanning across the skin there, making you wild as he repositions himself and nudges your legs apart with his knee. You feel the length of him tease between your legs, sliding up to your entrance again. He groans loudly, letting you know how badly he wants you, so you try to pop your hips up at just the right angle you know he’s looking for.
He slides in effortlessly and with a renewed vigor, hips snapping into you, pressing you further into the sliding glass door with neither of you seeming to be worried about the way it’s suddenly shaking on the frame. It’s completely lewd, the way you imagine the two of you - your entire body against glass, tits being pressed out the top of your dress and bouncing, palms spread against the smooth surface, nails clawing and unable to grasp at anything.
Your body is shaking in his hold now, Joel’s cock hitting inside of you in all the right places. You can feel yourself tensing, almost like every cell is going taut, your core pooling heat deep inside of you with molten pleasure from Joel hitting the spongy bit inside of you.
“Fuck, love it when you sound like that f’me, doll,” Joel punches out as he hears your moans becoming louder and more desperate the longer he continues to thrust against your g-spot. You can’t respond, only continue your lustful noises with a renewed vigor as you try to bounce your hips back into his thrusts, getting him deeper than what’s even possible, the length of him already burying up to the hilt each time he drives himself into you.
“Know you wanna come for me, baby,” he says right in your ear, voice hoarse with need, and you whimper in response as his hand snakes around your hips and in between your legs, circling a gentle pressure on your clit.
You feel your hold on reality completely break, your eyes squeezing shut as you melt into the way your entire body is tingling with pleasure now, waves of it turning into spasms as you go practically limp with shaky knees. Joel’s hands hold you in place, his warm strength keeping you upright as you push down onto his cock, riding out your climax and screaming for him.
When your movements start to slow and your body relaxes, Joel thrusts into you even harder, loving the way you’re so compliant and soft after climaxing, letting him move in you however he needs as you ride out the sensitive aftershocks with a few quiet yelps.
“This little pussy is all mine, y’know that, right?” Joel reminds you through clenched teeth, giving your ass a firm slap. You nod vigorously, eyes still half lidded and mind scrambled from the way he’d shattered you mere moments ago.
“Y-yes, Joel,” you say when he slaps your ass again, demanding an answer. Your breathy answer is enough to get him to his own climax, and he surprises you by pulling out suddenly, leaving your body lurching back into nothing, missing the fullness of him already. Before you can protest, say anything, Joel’s hands grip your shoulders and spin you around and push down, forcing you onto your knees in one fluid, swift motion. You watch, wide eyed, as he fists his throbbing cock, shiny and coated in your own slick arousal as he spreads it along his shaft in jerking motions.
“Be a good girl and open up,” he commands, and you submit to the words immediately, mouth hanging open, even sticking your tongue out for good measure. Joel smirks at that before giving himself another swift tug, and you watch in renewed wonder as he begins to spill himself all over your face, ropes of cum hitting your skin. You taste him on your tongue immediately, savoring it. Your eyes are glued up on Joel’s face, watching his glazed gaze taking in the scene below him as he groans in pleasure, trying not to tilt his head back and get lost in the moment so he doesn’t miss a beat of your beautiful surrender to him.
“Fuck,” he mutters as he watches the last bits of his release hit your tongue. “Don’t you dare swallow that, yet, doll,” he adds on quickly, eyes fluttering for a moment before he tucks himself back into his slacks. He continues to tower over you for a prolonged few seconds, looking down in satisfaction at the image of your glowing, angelic face coated in something so sinful, the milky substance starting to drip down your face, your tongue trembling slightly with the need to swallow.
“Hold still,” he says needlessly since as the words come out of his mouth he grabs your chin, tilting your head upwards and gathering spit, letting a long, tortuously slow drip of it fall into your open mouth. It lands on your tongue, combining with his cum and Joel smirks again, releasing your chin.
“Swallow, my little doll,” he says, voice starting to go soft, an indication that he’s feeling satisfied and finished with his enjoyment of you. You close your mouth, smile, and swallow obviously for him, licking your lips for good measure.
Joel holds out a hand, helping you stand, your legs buckling slightly as you try to get your bearings. He carefully smooths your disheveled dress, flattening the bottom half and tugging the neckline back into place before fixing the straps to sit perfectly square on your shoulders, eyes roaming over quickly to examine his work with pride. His hands then move to your hair, brushing his fingers gently to put it back in its place, leaving every part of you like none of this had just happened besides your face, still dripping with his spill. Your smile widens, seeing him watch a particularly large spot of it sliding down your cheek. You see his composure fail for a moment before he strokes your cheek gently, avoiding any of the mess there, giving you soft, affectionate eyes.
“Good girl,” he says quietly, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “Pizza’s probably ready,” he adds on, the casual tone taking you aback for only a moment before you blink yourself back to reality and nod dutifully.
“Of course,” you say, a genuine smile plastered on your face as you look at your handsome husband, admiring the way he’s looking at you with stars dancing across his eyes, the deepest love for you tucked away in his deep brown irises.
“After you get that, go clean yourself up, doll,” he says, and you nod again, the smile not leaving your face. You see out of the corner of your eye Joel settle onto one of the chairs at your outdoor table, leaning back casually as if he hadn’t just had you bent over that exact table, fucking you for the entire neighborhood to possibly see and hear.
You gather everything you need, serving utensils, plates, and two cold beers before bringing it to the table along with the pizza and a freshly tossed salad you’d made to accompany it. Each time you drop something off, the smirk on Joel’s face grows, watching the way you work with the evidence of his obsession with you still lingering on your flushed cheeks.
Once the table is set and your face cleaned off, you join Joel outside to enjoy the beautiful spring evening, and see he’s already served you two generous slices of the margherita pizza.
He reaches a hand onto the table, taking yours delicately into his palm, dwarfing it with the size of his thick fingers as he absentmindedly runs his thumb along your knuckles, stopping to play with the large, gorgeous diamond on your ring finger. Another reminder to him that he has you all to himself, his pretty little wife.
“Thanks for dinner, baby” he says, eyes locked on yours as he uses a free hand to pick up the pizza and take a large bite, letting out a little noise in satisfaction at the flavor.
“Anytime.” You smile, genuine and tranquil, a fresh appreciation and love for the life you’ve found yourself so grateful to be living.
tysm to @jupiter-soups @huffle-punk @rensraptor for so much help with ideas and writing this fic! love u guys x
#PLS DON'T LET THIS FLOP i'm very proud of it#fic: pretty little wife#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller smut#x reader#pedro pascal character x reader
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I'm going to be honest
I'm having a genuinely hard time making this post. I've been fighting with it for a couple weeks now, but I think it's time I finally make it.
I'm not having fun on this blog anymore.
It sounds bad, but honestly, it kind of is.
I think a lot of it started from the very beginning with the precedence and expectations I put on myself. I've always tried to respond to every comment I get. Even from the beginning. It's just a polite thing to do since those who leave comments took the time to write out what they think of my fic, even if it's just a keysmash. I've always felt the need to thank those who leave comments or reblog my writing or (now that tumblr has it) replied to my fics. It worked fine before because none of my fics were particularly popular. Even my most popular fic (at that time) didn't get as much attention as CRCB has. I've never had a "big blog" before, nor a fic as popular as CRCB has gotten.
It was fine at first, responding to everyone, engaging with everyone. I was riding that high of omg so many people are reading and enjoying my fic! I've never had anything quite like this before.
Now...it just feels more like a chore. I set this precedence on this blog that I respond to everyone and I know a lot of people have said that they're surprised I responded to them and to everyone, and now I'm getting why a lot of writers don't. I'm exhausted. I feel like I've just been robotically saying the same thing over and over trying to respond to people now. I used to love seeing asks in my inbox and reblogs and replies but now? All I feel is dread because I have to respond to all of those.
Turning anon off was a big help. It lessened the sheer volume of asks I was getting a day. And while I do feel bad for all of my anons who prefer to stay anons, with everything that happened (the multiple incidents) with anon that kind of started to suck the joy out of everything. That paired with the obsessive need to constantly have my inbox cleared and make sure everyone gets a response...I can understand now too why big blogs will have 200+ asks in their inbox. It's hard and it's exhausting and I'm burning out.
First it was the fic that was burning me out. Things have gone on far longer than I planned and I just wasn't prepared for this fic to go on and for a while there it was dragging. I'll admit that. If I could go back, I'd speed up a few things, but it's done, it's posted there's no going back. I kind of hoped I would have the mental capacity to upload more than once a week too, but I just couldn't. I still can't.
I've come to dread posting chapters because I know I'm going to have to reply and respond to everyone. The only thing keeping me posting is the fact that we're in the part of the story I've been excited about since the beginning and also because I keep leaving everyone on cliffhangers and I love torturing y'all with all of them.
So that being said, this is in no way to shame anyone for interacting with me, anyone leaving comments or replies or sending asks. Don't feel bad about doing it please. I appreciate all of you that have engaged with me and it really means so much to me. Honestly, earlier this year, if I didn't have this fic and everyone on this blog, I might not have made it to now. It's been a really rough year and it's still going to be into next year. It's just getting to the point where I need a break.
I've needed a break for a long time. I thought taking days off the blog would help, and it did for a couple of weeks, but now even on the days I'm supposed to be on the blog and engaging, I just find myself queueing stuff up and just being offline most of the day still.
I'm tired. That's the best reason I can give. I'm tired and burned out on life and I'm tired and burned out on this blog.
So...I think I need a break. I need to not keep responding to every single reply and reblog every chapter. I need to not force myself to answer every ask right away, no matter how much I want to. I feel bad, but I know everyone would rather have me here and enjoying the blog than forcing myself to interact to the point where I'm dreading it and just robotically repeating myself over and over with every reply and answer and comment.
I won't be pausing the fic, I won't be not uploading. I'll still be posting chapters, I just might not be interacting as much as I have been. It's just putting such a mental strain on me still, even with anon off, even with days off. And with things getting busier for me, it's going to be too much to try and deal with irl stuff and write and try to be super active on the blog. There's going to come a point where I have to sacrifice the writing or the blog and I'd rather sacrifice the blog to keep myself sane, and also to keep trying to finally get this fic done. I love this fic, don't get me wrong, but I'm just burning out.
I'm already burned out in a lot of ways.
I was planning kinktober this year but honestly I'm considering not doing it because I know interaction is going to be insane and it's going to be a lot to keep up on. Plus trying to write that many fics is hard and I'm not sure I have the ability to do it. I have a few done but now I'm just like...is that something I want to do on top of irl stuff and CRCB.
There's just no joy in it anymore. It's not anyone's fault but mine. I put the pressure on myself, I held myself to that standard for this long despite the fact I knew it was draining me. I've tried to push through when I should have prioritized myself. I feel so guilty not responding to everyone. I feel so guilty being a day or two late responding to everyone.
I want to be here and interacting and responding to things but I just can't bring myself to anymore. It's no one's fault, and this is not a drag on anyone, or an attempt to make anyone feel bad or guilty for interacting or sending asks or anything. I'm just airing out the truth and saying what I need to say because I feel like I've been so robotic and lifeless with my responses these last couple weeks and I feel like I need to explain why. It's nothing anyone has done. It's my fault. It's 100% my fault.
Things have just gotten to be too much and it's my fault for forcing myself to be so active. The social battery has dropped into the negatives. I'm not a social person. I can only handle so much interaction and I've pushed so far beyond that, that things have gotten to this point. I want to be here and I want to have fun and I want to use this as an escape but I just don't feel that way about it anymore. It's a chore for me, a job, something I feel like I have to do and it's my fault that I feel that way. It's my own standards and expectations I set on myself, and my expectations on what I think my followers want and deserve and now I feel like I've gone on too long like this that I can't change things without hurting anyone's feelings. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them in favor of others because I know there's writers out there that do that. They only respond to a certain group and ignore others that comment and reblog. I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm doing that to them and that's now led me to here.
I'm forcing it and I'm tired.
It's been hard these last few weeks. The life has just been draining and draining continuously. The joy and the love I have for this blog and my followers and the interactions and the fic. The last anon bullshit that happened was just kind of the last nail in the coffin so to speak. The straw that broke the camel's back. Things stopped being fun. It made me feel bad (and not in the guilty way, though that was a part of it) and I'm honestly just over it. I'm over the blog, I'm over interacting, I'm over life at this point. August is a hard month for me and every year it seems to get worse and worse. A lot of it is unrelated to anything online and I was going to make a post about it but honestly I just don't want to. Those that know, know. Those that don't...it doesn't matter.
I'm getting annoyed by the blog, I'm getting annoyed every time I look in my notifications and see an ask or a reply or a comment. I'm getting annoyed by some of my followers and that's not fair to you. Everyone always talks about how nice and kind and patient I am when I'm really not. I'm not the person I present myself to be on this blog, the way I mask myself so I can present myself as being a normal, kind human being. The mask is coming off because I'm so tired I can't keep it up anymore. It's happening here and it's happening in real life. I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I'm angry at a lot of things and the last thing I want is to start taking it out on my followers. You don't deserve that, especially when it's not your fault, it's nothing any of you have done. It's all me.
It's not you, it's me.
So for the sake of not burning this whole thing to the ground, I'm going to take a break. I'm not replying to everyone, I'm not responding to every reblog, I won't reply to every ask I get right away, if at all because sometimes I just don't have anything to say in response and I need to learn that's okay. It's nothing against you. It's not aimed at anyone specifically, I'm just trying to put myself first and stop things from escalating. I need a break and I'm going to do something selfish and I'm going to take it.
Don't apologize because it's not your fault. Don't apologize because you think you might have contributed to this because you didn't. It is no one's fault but my own.
I'm the one that needs to apologize to all of you because I've just not been myself because I've been forcing myself to be someone I'm not. I've been very unfair to a lot of people over the last seven months that this blog has been active and I've held a precedent that is not sustainable in the long run and made everyone believe that I was capable of maintaining that kind of interaction when I'm not.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been putting everyone through this. I'm sorry I've been so detached and robotic and ingenuine. I'm sorry I led everyone to believe I'm someone I'm not. I'm sorry I've dragged this on this long that it's gotten to the point that I have to make this post.
I considered just disappearing but that wouldn't be fair to you either. I don't want to put you through that, so I'm pouring all of my thoughts out and making you read through this fucking novel of a post. If you've made it this far, then congrats I guess. Gold metals to you who bothered reading this far.
Anyway, all of that aside, I'll still be posting chapters. I'll have them scheduled and I'll probably come on and add links places to keep things current. I'll respond and reply and answer asks when I feel like it. You don't have to stop sending them, but just don't expect them to be responded to right away anymore. I'll probably still be here reblogging things I want and doing things when I feel like it.
I just need a few weeks to myself. Time I don't have to care about the blog at all and keeping up with it. Anon will remain off for the sake of keeping asshole trolls away, and also so I don't open tumblr and have 200 asks in my inbox after a week. Sorry to my anons but it's just the way it needs to be right now. Maybe once this break is over and I've dealt with irl stuff, I'll consider putting it back on. I just can't after everything I dealt with recently on anon.
It'll be the same on Ao3, for those that follow here and read there. Comments will probably sit for a while. They won't be answered right away anymore unless I get the energy to burn through them. Even then I won't try to answer them all at once like I did this last weekend.
I'll try to reblog something every day so y'all know I'm alright. I don't want y'all to panic and it's not fair to put you through that, especially those that might not see this or bother reading it. Those that follow simply for the fic and nothing else. I'm here, I'm just not...here.
This week's chapter is in the queue to be posted tomorrow as usual. Chapters will still come out as planned since I'm not stopping writing, just taking a break from the blog itself.
Thank you those of you who stuck through to the end here. I appreciate all of you so much. You have no idea. I'm sorry I let things get to this point and I'm sorry to anyone that I've gotten rude or snappy with because I couldn't be selfish and put myself first. I'm sorry to anyone that got a robotic, repeated response to something they were probably excited to share. I'm sorry I've been so unfair to everyone and I hope you can forgive me.
Take care and I'll talk to everyone when I have the energy to.
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Roommate Accident
Synopsis. Living with Eren Yeager was never supposed to happen or be complicated, but tension between two roommates turns their once peaceful arrangement into an awkward dance of avoidance and frustration. A casual offer to give her a ride one day sets off a chain of unexpected events, leaving her questioning the boundaries of their relationship. As their interactions grow more intense, she finds herself torn between keeping the peace and exploring something deeper. With a circle of close friends offering unsolicited advice and wild suggestions, she must decide whether to confront her feelings or continue ignoring the growing chemistry between them.
Paring: Eren Yeager x Fem Reader
Content, MDNI: Enemies to lovers, arguments, smut, drinking, oral (f), dirty talk, sex, fluff, one shot, (Lmk if I missed anything!)
Word Count: 9.7K
{ash’s notes} -HI GUYS! This is my first story and if I’m gonna be honest, I’m prettyyyy nervous but excited of course. I hope you guys enjoy reading this because this was lowkey so fun to write, I have so many more stories to think about writing but not sure when I will. Okay I’m just going to be rambling on and on so again please show love to this story and lmk what you think and how it is! Love you all and take care of yourself, MWAHH❤️ minors aren't welcomed! comments + reblogs are appreciated!
College life is back in full swing, and with it comes the sense of purpose I’ve been craving all summer. Don’t get me wrong—being home with family had its perks, but I desperately needed some time to myself. Now, living with Mikasa, I finally have the freedom to do things on my own terms, while still keeping my grades up, of course. It feels like a fresh start, a chance to balance responsibility with the independence I’ve been longing for.
Junior year of college—finally. I know it’s going to be a new challenge, but all I’m hoping for is as little stress and drama as possible. The drive ahead was long, so I kept my goodbyes short and sweet, not wanting to drag it out. As I hit the road, a mix of nervousness and excitement coursed through me. It felt like the start of something big.
After an hour-long drive, I finally arrived at the campus dorms, my excitement bubbling over. I parked the car and hurried to my dorm, practically bursting with anticipation. As I unlocked the door, I noticed a few boxes outside Mikasa’s room—she must’ve just gotten here too. I grabbed the handle, flung the door open, and jumped inside, shouting, “HIII ROOMIE!”
But the smile fell from my face instantly. It wasn’t Mikasa standing there—it was Eren.
“What the actual hell?” I blurted, freezing in the doorway.
“The fuck?” he shot back, looking just as startled as me.
We stared at each other, equally confused by what was happening. "Excuse me, but why are you in Mikasa's room?" I asked with more sass than intended.
"Mikasa?" he echoed, clearly baffled. "This is my room. Dorm 207," he added, grabbing a piece of paper from the desk nearby to show me.
I quickly glanced at my own dorm assignment. There it was—207, plain as day.
"Oh, hell no—“
Call incoming
Just as my brain started to melt down, my phone buzzed. Mikasa’s name flashed on the screen, and I picked up, not even bothering As a greeting. “Where are you, and why is Eren in your room?” I asked, my voice tight with frustration.
On the other end, Mikasa sounded just as bewildered. “Okay, so I was just as surprised when I saw Armin in your dorm, but we figured it out. There was a mix-up with the dorm assignments, and... they can’t change it.”
"WHAT?!" I screamed into the phone, my frustration boiling over. Before I could say anything else, Eren grabbed my phone and echoed my shock with his own confusion, “What?!” He put the phone on speaker
“What the hell do you mean they can’t change it? School hasn’t even started! They have to fix it because I am definitely not rooming with Ms. Control Freak over here,” Eren said, looking me up and down with an irritating look.
I clenched my fists, my patience hanging by a thread. The urge to slap him right then and there was overwhelming. My relationship with Eren was… complicated, to say the least. To keep it short, we never saw eye to eye—we couldn’t stand each other’s lifestyles, let alone the idea of sharing a space.
I see myself as someone organized, who knows how to navigate life with a clear plan, confident in my ability to talk things through and stand my ground when needed. Eren, on the other hand, is the complete opposite—laid-back, spontaneous, and annoyingly carefree. He’s the type who thinks life is meant to be lived without schedules or rules. It’s no wonder we clash constantly; we’re like oil and water.
After a few more minutes of heated back-and-forth, Mikasa’s call finally ended, leaving me standing there, dumbfounded, in the middle of what was now our dorm. Eren ran a hand down his face, visibly irritated. I had no idea how we were supposed to survive this.
“Well, if we’re going to make this work, I gotta lay out some ground rules,” Eren announced, and I could already tell this was going to be a joke. “You don’t bother me, I don’t bother you. Simple as that.” He extended his hand for me to shake as if we were closing some grand deal.
The audacity. “When did we agree on you being the boss?” I shot back.
He groaned, rubbing his temples. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is,” he muttered, giving me an exasperated look.
That only fueled my annoyance. I started rattling off about chores, noise levels, and a bunch of other things that he would absolutely need to respect if we were going to survive living together.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there. Today’s already stressful enough, and I don’t need you adding to my headache,” he said, waving a hand dismissively in my face. The nerve of this guy.
Before I could snap back, he grabbed my shoulders, physically moved me out of his room, and shut the door behind me. “THIS CONVERSATION ISN’T OVER!” I yelled. Silence. Nothing but silence from the other side.
I groaned in frustration, knowing there was no point in arguing with him right now. Instead, I turned my attention to hauling my things inside before it got too dark.
After I finally finished unpacking and getting everything in order, I belly-flopped onto my bed, exhausted and frustrated. All the perfect plans I had for this year were already crumbling thanks to Eren. Sharing a dorm with him was the last thing I expected, and it felt like everything was ruined before it even began.
Now, all I could do was hope things didn’t spiral further out of control. I just hoped—for my sanity—that living with him wouldn’t be as bad as I feared. But deep down, I had a sinking feeling that hope might be too much to ask for.
-
It’s been almost a month since the semester started, and things have been... weird. But weirdly enough, calm—for now. I haven’t seen or heard much from Eren lately, and honestly, I’m not complaining. The only thing that really pisses me off is that he’s a total slob. It’s such a turn-off, especially for someone who looks the way he does. Some nights, I have to wear noise-canceling headphones just to sleep because of his loud, never-ending gaming sessions. I’ve tried to let it slide, but if I have to endure this for an entire year, I’m seriously doubting whether I’ll make it out alive.
“How’s it with Armin?” I asked Mikasa, picking at my food. We decided to hang out after classes, needing some downtime.
“Oh my god, it’s so nice,” she gushed. “We cook together most of the time, split chores, he helps me study when I need it, and every week, we watch these awful reality TV shows together and laugh our heads off.” She kept going, laughing as she spoke, until she noticed my deadpan expression.
“Oh... shit. My bad,” she giggled, trying—and failing—to hide her amusement.
I rolled my eyes at Mikasa’s enthusiasm. “Well, how is it with Eren?” she asked, taking a sip of her drink.
I sighed dramatically, stabbing at my food before taking a bite. “The complete opposite of your story,” I muttered.
“That bad?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
“Oh yeah, that bad,” I said, launching into a full-blown rant about all the irritating things Eren had done over the past month. It felt good to let it all out. “Like, I don’t get what girls see in him. He’s just a pretty face, that’s it.”
Mikasa nodded, somewhat amused. “Well, Eren’s always been laidback about most things. He always says his charm is his best quality,” she shrugged, going back to her meal.
I scoffed. “Yeah, sure. Like that guy has any charm.”
The rest of the day passed by, and after our little venting session, Mikasa drove me back to the dorm. Just as I was getting out, she leaned over. “Oh, before you go—are you going to Jean’s party tonight?”
Ugh. A party. I could already feel the exhaustion creeping in just thinking about it. “Probably not. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do at home, and let’s be real—the chances of Eren being there are ridiculously high, so... yeah, I’m good,” I said with a shrug.
Mikasa looked disappointed, but I could see she understood. “Fine, but you have to go to the next one with me. Promise?”
I laughed and held out my pinky. “Deal. I’ll be there, I swear.”
She grinned and wrapped her pinky around mine. “Deal,” she said with a smile before driving off.
I quickly headed up to my dorm, pushing the door open with a sigh of relief. Looks like Eren’s not here. He’s probably already left for Jean’s party, I thought, grateful for the peace and quiet. A whole night to myself. Finally.
I grabbed a snack and a drink from the kitchen, then wandered into my room. As I put on some music, the weight of the week started to melt away. I removed my makeup and prepared for my long-overdue everything shower. The kind of self-care I hadn’t indulged in for weeks.
After soaking under the warm water for what felt like forever, I got out, wrapped myself in a towel, and began my skincare routine, singing along to my favorite songs. It felt amazing to be alone and completely in my element.
With my skincare finally on my face, I debated whether to stay up and do something productive or just crash for the night. Nah, I’ll just sleep, I decided, already feeling the exhaustion creep in. I slipped into a pair of soft sleeping shorts and a baggy tank top, sinking into my bed.
As soon as my head hit the pillow, I closed my eyes and drifted into a deep, peaceful slumber, relishing the calm while it lasted.
BANG
I jolted upright in bed, my heart racing as I glanced around, trying to figure out what had startled me awake. What the hell? I whispered to myself, straining to listen. It could be Eren-I really hoped it was, because the alternative was too terrifying to consider. But then I heard something worse: muffled laughter, followed by unmistakable kissing sounds. Oh no. Scratch that, I hope it's a killer.
Eren's door slammed shut, and I clung to the hope that maybe-just maybe-it would all stop there. I tried to force myself back to sleep, convincing myself that I could ignore it. I was so close to drifting off again when the low moans started, followed by soft curses. My eyes flew open, and I groaned into my pillow, Please, for the love of all things, let this nightmare end.
It didn't. The sounds got louder, the bed rhythmically slamming against the wall. I grabbed my headphones, shoved them over my ears, and stuffed a pillow on top of my head, trying to block out the never-ending torture happening just feet away. I lay there, my regret over every life decision that led me here slowly consuming me. This was going to be a very, very long night.
So bright. I blinked against the harsh light streaming through the window, rubbing my eyes. Barely an hour of sleep after a night of absolute torture. The girl had left about twenty minutes ago, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel comfortable enough to fall back asleep. Coffee. That’s what I need.
Dragging myself out of bed, I slipped into my slippers to avoid the cold floor and trudged to the kitchen. The coffee was brewing, and I was almost in the clear when I heard Eren’s door creak open. Groaning internally, I rolled my eyes and tried to hurry, hoping to avoid whatever awkward conversation was coming. I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and fished the creamer out of the fridge. Footsteps approached behind me.
“Hey, roomie,” Eren’s voice chimed, way too cheerful for my liking. Don’t punch him, don’t punch him, I chanted silently, eyes fixed on the coffee machine, willing it to finish faster.
“Wow, you look horrible,” he commented, pouring himself a cup with a grin. I shot him a glare.
“Yeah, thanks. I didn’t get any sleep last night,” I muttered, finally pouring my coffee and moving to the table to prepare it. Eren laughed, probably remembering the obnoxious noise from last night. This annoying asshole.
“Didn’t realize you were here. My bad” he said, not sounding sorry at all while grabbing the creamer next to me, a smirk still playing on his lips.
I am not going to survive this year.
“I don’t care what you do, just have some fucking decency,” I shot back, sipping my coffee as I walked back to my room. I could feel Eren’s eyes on me, but I didn’t turn around. Shutting the door behind me, I set the mug on my nightstand and groaned at the thought of the day ahead. No sleep, two essays due, and classes to sit through. Today is going to suck.
I dragged myself to the bathroom, got dressed in something comfy but cute, and grabbed my things. Heading back to the kitchen, I filled a water bottle and rinsed out my coffee mug—then, Unwillingly, Eren’s dirty dishes too. Just as I finished, I heard his door creak open again. Speak of the devil.
“Thanks for washing those,” he said nonchalantly, rummaging through the fridge. “I probably wasn’t going to do it anyway.”
I rolled my eyes, biting back a retort. As I dried my hands with a paper towel, he asked, “Want me to give you a ride to school?”
I blinked, caught off guard. What? “No, I’m good,” I replied sarcastically. “I wouldn’t want to deal with the dirty looks from all your fangirls.”
“Ha, ha, ha,” he responded dryly, clearly unamused.
Great start to the day, I thought as I grabbed my bag and headed for the door, not sparing him another glance.
Eren’s footsteps echoed behind me as I stormed off. “You don’t have to back down on my offer—it still stands,” he called out, clearly amused. His voice alone made my blood boil.
Without even turning to face him, I snapped, “You know what offer would actually be great? How about you shut the fuck up at night, pick up your own shit, clean your own damn dishes, and maybe grow some balls while you’re at it?” My voice trembled with frustration, the words flying out before I could even stop them.
I expected him to have some snarky comeback. And, of course, he didn’t disappoint. Eren rolled his eyes, scoffing like my words barely registered. But then, in an instant, he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face him.
“Oh yeah? Let’s talk about you,” he shot back, his voice louder, angrier. “How about you stop having a stick up your ass and acting like you’re my damn mother, stop meddling in my business, and just fucking stop being a damn control freak if a fucking cup isn’t placed in the right spot”
We stood there in the middle of the parking lot, glaring at each other like two wild animals ready to tear each other apart. The tension was palpable, our frustrations bubbling to the surface in a messy, chaotic explosion.
I laughed, but it wasn’t out of amusement—it was out of sheer, exhausted frustration. “I get it, you want that laid-back college life, no responsibilities, carefree and easygoing? That’s not me. I can’t live like that Yeager, so you just have to fucking deal with me.”
I stepped closer, my eyes boring into his. “And if you can’t handle it, then go dorm with someone else. Hell, sneak out and find someone willing to put up with your shit. I don’t care. But don’t expect me to change.”
Without giving him a chance to respond, I turned on my heel and walked away, refusing to look back. Let him stew in his own arrogance. I was done.
After that intense moment with Eren, I decided to walk to campus alone. I didn’t care how long it took, I just needed to cool off, to breathe. The crisp morning air helped, but the frustration still lingered, swirling around in my head. By the time I made it to my first class, I was already dreading being there. But skipping wasn’t an option—I needed to do well. I sighed, taking out my things and finding a corner seat, hoping to be invisible for the rest of the period.
As I was pulling out my notebook, I felt someone sit down next to me. Turning to see who it was, I saw Armin, offering me a friendly smile. "Hey, no one’s sitting here, right?" he asked politely.
“No, don’t worry, you’re good,” I replied, grateful for the company. At least Armin was easy to deal with.
The class started, and after a while, we were given some time to work individually. I dove into my assignments, trying to focus, when Armin spoke up. "You and Eren got into an argument, didn’t you?"
I froze mid-sentence, turning to face him. “How do you know?” I asked, surprised but not totally shocked. Eren had a big mouth.
Armin stopped typing and glanced at me. "He picked me up this morning, and I could tell something was off. When I asked him what was wrong, he kind of… exploded about you. He was pretty worked up."
I groaned internally, rubbing my forehead. "God, I hate him," I muttered. "I don’t get why you’re friends with him. He’s like the devil himself."
Armin chuckled softly, shaking his head. "He’s not all that bad, I promise."
I scoffed at that, going back to my paper. "Then what do I do? I can’t even be in the same room as him without wanting to strangle him."
Armin turned back to me, a thoughtful look on his face. "You just need to give him a chance. Yeah, he can be frustrating, but I swear, if you get past that, you might actually find something you like about him."
I rolled my eyes, thinking, Yeah, like when he shuts up. But I couldn’t help considering what Armin was saying. He made it sound so easy like Eren was just misunderstood or something. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to give him a chance when he seemed to go out of his way to drive me crazy.
I sighed, “I don’t know, Armin. It feels like I’m the only one trying here. He doesn’t give me any reason to want to make this work.”
Armin smiled sympathetically. "Maybe he’s not great at showing it, but trust me, he’s not as indifferent as he seems."
I nodded half-heartedly, not fully convinced. As much as I hated to admit it, Armin had a point—there had to be something redeemable about Eren. I just wasn’t sure I was willing to dig deep enough to find it.
Just as I was about to respond to Armin, the bell rang, cutting our conversation short. We both quickly packed up our things. “Just think about what I said, okay? Let me know how it goes,” Armin said as we parted ways. I nodded, though I wasn’t sure how to even start. We said our goodbyes and headed in opposite directions to our next classes.
Finally, lunch arrived. Mikasa had texted me earlier to meet at the cafeteria, so I made my way over. Spotting her quickly, I saw her waving her arm at me from across the room. I hurried over and sat next to her, taking the seat at the edge of the table. “Hey guys,” I greeted with a smile, placing my things down. The usual group was there—Mikasa, Sasha, Annie, Connie, and Niccolo.
As soon as I sat down, we were all deep in conversation, laughing about the most random things. Connie groaned dramatically, slumping over the table. “Ugh, I’m totally going to fail Mr. Ackerman’s class. It's like he’s speaking some alien language,” he grumbled, earning a round of laughter from the group.
Sasha, in her usual fashion, was busy shoveling food into her mouth as she snuggled up next to Niccolo. "Yeah, I don’t know how to help you with that, buddy," she managed to say between bites, drawing more laughs.
Just as we were settling into our groove, Jean, Armin, and Eren walked up to the table. Jean slid in next to Connie, while Armin took the seat next to Annie, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Eren, to my mild annoyance, sat down next to Armin, but I tried to ignore him, focusing on my drink instead.
“Why the hell did you guys take so long?” Connie asked, raising an eyebrow as he leaned back in his chair.
“Don’t look at me,” Jean quickly replied, jabbing a thumb toward Armin and Eren. “These two took forever talking about something.”
Talking? About what? I wondered, sipping my drink to cover my curiosity. I glanced briefly at Armin, who seemed to give me a look that said, I’ll tell you later. Eren, on the other hand, was focused on picking at his food, not making eye contact with anyone. Whatever it was, I could feel tension lingering between us, like unfinished business hanging in the air. But right now, surrounded by friends and laughter, I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with it.
Mikasa squeezed my arm, her excitement contagious. "Oh my god, we need to go do something soon! I’ve been dying for some girl time." Before I could respond, Sasha perked up, practically bouncing in her seat. “Ooh, ooh, me and Annie too!” she added loudly, making Annie chuckle as she gave a small nod of agreement. Mikasa smiled and nodded, and we all quickly made plans for next week. It felt good to look forward to something light and fun, especially after the chaos of the morning.
As we continued talking, I found myself glancing over at Eren, who was in deep conversation with Armin and Annie. Whatever they were talking about, it seemed serious, their faces unusually focused. I looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling of curiosity.
“Shit, time’s almost up,” Niccolo suddenly announced, snapping us all out of our conversations. Everyone checked their phones for the time. Some of us had one more class left, while others, like me, were done for the day. I silently celebrated the fact that I didn’t have any more obligations. We all began packing up and saying our goodbyes, and I decided to take the long way home, wanting to enjoy a walk with my music.
While I was about to start walking away from campus, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I pulled out one earbud and turned around, already dreading who it might be. Of course, it was Eren.
I sighed and, without a word, put my earbud back in, continuing to walk. But he wasn’t letting me go that easily. "Wait," he called after me. I stopped but didn’t bother turning around this time. “What?” I asked, my tone flat, trying to keep the distance between us.
"Come on, I’ll give you a ride," he offered. I shot back with a quick, “No thanks,” and started walking again. I really didn’t want to deal with him right now.
But then he grabbed my arm and spun me around, clearly more frustrated than before. “God, if you keep walking, I swear...” he muttered, closing his eyes for a second as if trying to control his temper.
I yanked my arm out of his grip and crossed them over my chest. “What is it, Eren?” I asked, exasperated.
“Let me give you a ride as an apology. For this morning,” he said, softer now, looking at me more earnestly. “We literally live together.” I stared at him, weighing my options. I really wanted to say no, to just keep walking and avoid the whole situation. But Armin’s words from earlier crept into my mind. Maybe this could be the start of finding that “something” Armin seemed so sure I’d like about Eren.
“Fine,” I muttered, feeling like I might regret this decision but going along with it anyway.
He led the way to his car, and we both got in, the tension settling in as soon as the doors closed. The awkwardness between us was suffocating, and I instantly regretted not just walking home. The car felt too small, like the air was thicker, and the silence was far from comfortable. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and rested my head against the seat, turning to look out the window. The sound of the engine humming was the only noise, and it only made the silence feel heavier.
The longer we drove in that silence, the more anxious I felt. My fingers tapped lightly on my knee as I tried to distract myself, but all I could think about was how I just wanted this ride to be over. I thought about breaking the silence but I didn’t even know where to start. Every second dragged on, my thoughts running wild, wondering what he was thinking, and why he insisted on driving me. But mostly, I wondered how much longer this silent, awkward drive would last.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, stealing a quick glance at Eren out of the corner of my eye. He had his hands gripping the wheel, his knuckles turning slightly white, and his jaw was clenched like he was holding something back. I could tell he wanted to say something, but knowing Eren, he’d probably just stay stubbornly quiet. The silence between us stretched until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“So… you’ve been pretty quiet,” I said, breaking the ice, my voice sounding a little shakier than I wanted it to. I didn’t even know why I was trying to make small talk. Maybe it was the tension, or maybe it was what Armin said earlier, not sure.
He didn’t respond immediately, and for a second, I thought he was going to keep ignoring me. Then, without looking at me, he spoke. “I didn’t mean to piss you off this morning,” he muttered, his voice low, almost like he was trying not to be overheard by his own thoughts.
That caught me off guard. I didn’t expect an apology, not from Eren. He usually doubled down or shrugged things off like they didn’t matter. “You didn’t piss me off,” I said, almost reflexively, but even I knew that was a lie.
He let out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head. “Don’t lie. I know I did. I get it. I’m messy, I’m loud, and I don’t pick up after myself. But it’s not like you’re perfect either, you know?” His voice had an edge to it, but there was something softer underneath, something that almost sounded like guilt.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. Part of me wanted to keep arguing, to tell him he had no idea how difficult he made things for me, but another part of me wanted to understand why he was even bothering to apologize now. I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it, feeling the lump in my throat rising.
“I didn’t say I was perfect,” I finally admitted. “I’m just… tired, Eren. Tired of all of it.” My voice was quiet, almost defeated, as I stared out the window again. “I didn’t come here to play house with you or deal with this constant tension between us. It’s exhausting.”
The car fell back into silence, but this time, it wasn’t the same awkward, heavy silence as before. It felt different like both of us were waiting for the other to say something real for the first time.
Eren’s grip on the steering wheel loosened a little. “I know,” he said softly. “I didn’t expect to… I don’t know, live like this either. I thought it’d be different. Easier.” His voice trailed off for a moment, and I could see him wrestling with his thoughts.
I turned to look at him, my eyebrows knitting together. “Then why do you act like you don’t care? Like none of this matters to you?” The frustration was clear in my voice now, bubbling up from everything I’d been holding back for so long.
Eren took a deep breath. “I do care,” he said quietly. “It’s just… I’m not good at showing it. Not with all this other stuff going on.” He paused, glancing at me quickly before looking back at the road. “There’s more happening than just you and me fighting over dishes and who’s more responsible. I’ve got my own shit to figure out.”
His words caught me off guard again. I knew Eren had his own struggles, but he’d never been the type to talk about them. He always kept things bottled up until they exploded in moments like this morning.
For a second, I considered asking him what was really going on, but something held me back. Maybe it was fear, or maybe it was just knowing that neither of us was ready to really open up yet. Instead, I let out a sigh and leaned back in the seat.
“We’ve got to figure something out,” I said quietly, almost more to myself than to him. “This isn’t working.”
“I know,” he replied, his voice just as soft. “I’ll try harder. But I need you to meet me halfway.”
The tension between us hadn’t completely disappeared, but for the first time in a long while, it felt like we were actually getting somewhere. Maybe it wasn’t a solution, not yet, but it was a step. And that was more than I’d expected when I got into the car with him.
I was going to answer back, but it seemed like we already made it back to the dorm, so I just kept quiet for now. After that talk, things started getting a bit more normal, I think? Even though we’d been giving each other space, I couldn’t help but wonder if things were really as normal as they seemed. The lack of arguing didn’t mean things were fixed, and I knew ignoring the tension wouldn’t make it go away. I sighed, brushing away the thoughts of Eren as my phone buzzed again with more messages from the girls’ group chat. Tonight was supposed to be a break from everything, a night to let loose and enjoy myself, but my mind was stuck on him.
MIKA: Okayyy are you guys ready??
MIKA: Omg, we need to take a ton of pictures tonight!
Me: YES, just gotta put my shoes on
SASH: Girl, I’m already dressed and looking too fine, Annie is with me and also ready to goooo.
HISTORIA: Ymir and I are ready as well, and we’re bringing drinks for pregame 🥂.
MIKA: Okay here’s how it's going to go, First I pick up Sasha and Annie, then Historia and Ymir, then lastly Eren’s lover! Okay, we are good to go🥳
Me: Excuse me who are you picking up last?
HISTORIA: ooo did we miss anything??
YMIR: Spill now.
MIKA: 🙄
MIKA: yk we are going to talk about it
Me: Yeah I think I’m going to make a rain check for this girl's night
MIKA: No you're not ☺️, Leaving my house right now, I’ll be there in 10 so get your cute ass ready 💋.
I rolled my eyes, but a small grin tugged at my lips. If anyone could pull me out of a funk, it was Mikasa and the rest of the girls. Despite the swirling thoughts about Eren, I knew tonight would be fun, and maybe that’s what I needed to stop overthinking for a bit.
Grabbing my jacket and bag, I quickly checked my reflection in the mirror. Satisfied with my outfit and makeup, I headed to the kitchen for a quick snack—no way was I about to drink on an empty stomach. I grabbed a bag of chips, poured some into a bowl, and leaned against the counter while snacking. As I reached for another handful, a few chips slipped through my fingers and scattered on the floor. I sighed and bent down to pick them up.
Just then, Eren’s door swung open. I froze, hearing his voice cut through the silence. He was on the phone.
“Armin, I’m serious about this,” he said, clearly frustrated, pacing in the living room. Armin’s voice was faint, but I could still make out his response.
“Okay, okay, I get it. But you’re acting like it’s a big deal. She’s just a person, man. Talk to her like an adult,” Armin laughed.
“I swear I’ll come over and beat the shit out of you,” Eren replied in an eerily calm tone.
“Alright, alright, sorry,” Armin muttered.
There was a long pause, and then Eren spoke again, his voice quieter this time. “I don’t know, man. Ever since that conversation in the car, I’ve had this weird feeling in my chest. It’s driving me insane. That’s why I’ve been ignoring her.”
My heart nearly stopped. Was he talking about me?
I stayed frozen, crouched on the floor, not wanting him to know I’d overheard. But of course, the universe had other plans.
RING. RING. RING.
My phone blared to life, Mikasa’s name lighting up the screen. I panicked, fumbling to silence it, but it was too late. Eren’s footsteps stopped, and I could feel him staring at me. Slowly, I stood up and turned to face him. His expression was a mix of shock and embarrassment as if he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
“I-I thought you left,” he stammered, hanging up his own call.
“Uh, yeah… I was just about to.” I grabbed my things in a rush, my mind racing for an exit strategy.
“Wait, hold on,” Eren said, his voice softer now, as if he wanted to explain.
I stopped but didn’t turn around. “Look, I didn’t mean to overhear your conversation. I’m sorry. Can we talk about it later? I really need to go.”
“Yeah, sure,” he muttered, sounding just as awkward as I felt.
Without another word, I bolted for the door, not daring to look back.
As soon as I was out the door, my heart was racing. I couldn’t believe I had just overheard Eren talking about me like that, and worse, he knew I’d heard. The whole situation felt surreal. I was barely processing his words, let alone my own feelings about what I’d just witnessed. That “weird feeling in his chest”? What did that even mean? And why did it bother him so much? My mind was spinning as I rushed down the stairs and out of the building.
Mikasa’s car pulled up just in time, the headlights flashing as she waved at me from the driver’s seat. I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the awkwardness that was still lingering from the interaction with Eren. Getting into the car, I forced a smile, hoping she wouldn’t immediately sense that something was off.
“Ready to party?” she asked, her usual excitement shining through. The girls in the backseat echoed her enthusiasm with cheers and chatter, making it impossible not to smile at least a little.
“Yeah, totally,” I replied, though my voice felt far from convincing. I tried to immerse myself in the energy of the car, but Eren’s words kept replaying in my mind. Why was he feeling weird? Why had he been ignoring me because of it?
As we drove off, I leaned back in my seat, glancing out the window, hoping the night out would help me forget about it for now. But deep down, I knew this wasn’t something that would just go away.
“Here, drink this!” Sasha said, thrusting a cup into my hand. I took it, confused. “Wait, we’re drinking already?” I glanced around at the group, noticing everyone nodding enthusiastically—everyone except Mikasa, of course.
Without much hesitation, I took a sip, letting the alcohol work its magic and pushing my worries to the back of my mind. A few more minutes passed, and we finally parked.
“AHH, we’re here!” Mikasa squealed, grabbing my hand and jumping excitedly. We’d decided to hit up one of the most popular bars in the city for our girls’ night out, and with the alcohol starting to hit me, I was just as excited as she was.
After flashing our IDs, we stepped inside, the heavy bass of the music pulsing through our bodies. Our first stop was the bar, and the night took off from there—two hours of drinking, laughing, dancing, and just letting loose. Eventually, we stumbled to a booth at the back of the bar, another round of drinks in hand.
“Damn, Annie, I didn’t know you could dance like that! Armin is one lucky guy,” Sasha teased, making Annie laugh and wave her hand dismissively.
“Omg, you know what we should talk about?” Historia slurred, clearly tipsy. We all turned to her, curious. Her gaze landed on me. “You,” she said, pointing a wobbly finger in my direction.
“RIGHT! What’s up with this ‘Eren’s lover’ thing? Are you two dating or what?” Ymir asked, smirking as she took a sip of her drink.
I scoffed, “NO.”
“Not yet,” Mikasa added, grinning mischievously.
I groaned and put my head down on the table. “How many times do I have to say it? It’s complicated. We’re basically ignoring each other right now, and when we do talk, it’s just *hiccup* awkward.”
Mikasa leaned in, her voice soft but serious. “Look, I’ve known Eren my whole life. That man is crazy about you.”
“Yeah, crazy enough to drive me crazy,” I mumbled to myself, rolling my eyes.
But to my surprise, Annie spoke up. “I gotta agree with Mikasa. I’ve seen it myself.”
I lifted my head and looked at her, surprised. “Wait, what do you mean?”
“Ooo, this is getting good,” Sasha said, leaning in closer to Historia, while Ymir pulled Historia closer to herself as if they were settling in for some drama.
Annie smiled slyly. “Remember the day he offered to drive you home? That was because Armin and I pushed him to do it. He was nervous about asking you himself.”
I blinked in disbelief. “Nervous? About me?”
Sasha grinned. “Well, well, seems like Eren’s not as smooth as he pretends to be.”
The whole table erupted in laughter, but my mind was spinning. Eren, nervous? Over me? I wasn’t sure what to make of that, but it added a layer to things I hadn’t seen before.
“You know what would solve all your problems with Yeager?” Ymir asked, a mischievous glint in her eye. I turned to her, my face full of confusion. “You two just need to fuck.”
I choked on my drink, coughing as I shook my head. Well, that sobered me up real quick. “No, no, absolutely not. That’s not gonna happen,” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin.
“Why not?” Sasha chimed in, wide-eyed with curiosity.
“Yeah, I kind of agree with Ymir,” Historia said, nodding.
Annie, who had been quiet for a while, just smirked and shrugged. “Makes sense to me.”
Great, now I was officially cornered by my friends, all focused on my complicated relationship with Eren. The rest of the night became a blur of drinks and conversations about him—lucky me. By then, I had switched to water, trying to sober up before the night ended.
Around 2 a.m., we decided to call it quits. Ymir, who could hold her liquor like a pro, drove us all home. After she dropped me off, I waved my goodbyes, rolling my eyes at their teasing “good luck” wishes.
Climbing the stairs to my apartment, my mind replayed the night’s conversations, particularly Ymir’s blunt suggestion: You guys need to fuck. I shook my head, trying to push away the ridiculous idea. “Absolutely not,” I muttered to myself.
I unlocked the door quietly, stepping inside. The place was dark, which meant Eren had probably gone to bed. I sighed with relief—no awkward encounters tonight. But as I flicked on the kitchen lights, I jumped at the sight of Eren sprawled on the couch, surrounded by empty beer cans.
A small scream escaped me, causing him to stir and sit up groggily, rubbing his eyes.
“Oh my god, you scared me,” I gasped, my heart still racing.
Eren blinked a few times, looking around before his gaze settled on me. “Sorry,” he mumbled, still half-asleep.
I stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do next, the tension in the air thickening as the awkwardness between us returned.
“What time is it?” he asked, standing up and stretching, giving me a glimpse of his stomach. I quickly looked away, trying to ignore the sudden flutter in my chest.
“2:10,” I muttered quietly. He groaned while picking up the empty beer cans, and tossing them into the bin on the other side of the kitchen.
“You were out for that long?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and irritation.
“Why does it matter to you?” I shot back, crossing my arms defensively. My eyes dropped to the floor, trying to avoid looking at him.
“I’ve been waiting for you to get back. I need to explain that phone call… it’s been eating at me.”
Ugh, no, please. Not tonight.
“Can we do this tomorrow? I’m exhausted,” I said, slipping off my heels, realizing I’d forgotten to leave them at the front door.
“Just listen to me,” he said, ignoring my plea as he launched into his explanation, rambling on about the call. But my mind was elsewhere—on Ymir’s stupid suggestion. I don’t want to sleep with him. He’s irresponsible, reckless, irritating, and infuriating. And his stupid, gorgeous face. His perfect lips. Wait—no. Stop it.
“Are you even listening?” Eren’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He was leaning forward now, his arm resting on the table, his face inches from mine.
“Huh?” I blinked, trying to focus.
He sighed in frustration, dragging his hand down his face. “You’re infuriating, you know that?”
I shrugged, meeting his gaze. “I’ve heard.”
The tension between us was unbearable, thick enough to suffocate. We just stared at each other, the silence stretching until it felt like something had to break.
Finally, I stood up, breaking eye contact. “Well, if this conversation’s over, I’m going to my room.”
I turned to leave, but before I could take another step, Eren grabbed my arm and spun me around. Without warning, his hands cupped my face, and in an instant, his lips crashed into mine.
The frustration and tension between us melted away, replaced by a sudden surge of desire. I melted into him, my fingers instinctively tangling in his hair as the kiss deepened. It was filled with passion, with urgency. Eren’s hands slid to my waist, pulling me even closer as the heat between us intensified. It felt good—too good.
Wait, no. This isn’t right.
I pulled back, my lips still tingling from the lingering sensation of his. Looking up at him, I saw the confusion in his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, his hand resting on my hip.
“N-No… this can’t happen,” I stammered, taking a step back, though I already regretted leaving his warmth. “This whole situation is confusing enough, and this… this will only make it worse.”
He sighed, his gaze still locked on mine, intense and unwavering. The silence between us stretched, awkward, and charged with the things we weren’t saying. Slowly, Eren stepped forward, brushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear before cupping my shoulders and pulling me in once again.
But this time, it wasn’t for a kiss on the lips.
He kissed my forehead, soft and slow, then my nose, my cheek, my jaw, and finally my neck. Each kiss was deliberate, lingering, and my breath hitched as his lips moved lower. His hands followed, trailing down my body with maddening precision. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. Eren was intoxicating, overwhelming every corner of my mind and soul.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he whispered against my neck, his voice sending a shiver down my spine. His kisses grew more intense, and I snapped back to reality, realizing just how deep I was falling.
Oh god.
The kisses trailed higher once again, prompting me to wrap my arms around his neck. He stared at me, his voice barely above a whisper, "Do you want this?" Without thinking, I blurted, "Fuck yes."
A smile played on his lips as he claimed mine once more, his need growing with every passing second. Just as I was about to pull back and suggest we move to his room, he deepened the kiss. His hands gripped my ass, lifting me effortlessly as he strode towards my room. This Fucker. The door slammed shut behind us, and he laid me down on the bed, breaking the kiss to gaze down at me. I panted, my heart pounding in anticipation of what was to come.
"God, you drive me crazy, you know that," he murmured, his lips returning to my neck in a passionate kiss. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped me, lost as I was in his touch, his words, his games. Maybe I should have been embarrassed by how easily he got under my skin, but at that moment, I simply didn't care.
He pulled back yet again, leaving me breathless and wanting. Before I could even process my thoughts, he'd stripped off his shirt and tossed it across my room. Any words I might have had abandoned me, leaving me staring at his incredible physique in stunned silence. "Wow, all of this finally gets you to shut up for a second, maybe I should’ve fucked you earlier" he teased, pulling me upright and claiming my mouth in another scorching kiss. His hands found the zipper of my dress and slid it down, the sound echoing in the room.
He slipped the dress over my head, his hands gentle as he eased me back onto the bed. "Yeah, you should’ve," I finally managed to retort, my voice muffled against his lips.
His hands moved behind my back once more, but this time, his focus was on my bra. With a practiced touch, he unfastened it with a single hand. "How many girls have you done that to?" I teased, trying to sound collected despite the flutter in my chest. "Does it matter?" he countered, his voice low and husky. "The only person I'm going to do it for from now on is you baby."
He slid the bra straps down my arms, his fingers grazing my skin and sending shivers through me. As he bared me to his gaze, he leaned in, his lips tracing a path from my collarbone to the swell of my right breast. "Oh, gosh, Eren," I breathed, his warm tongue setting my nerves ablaze. He didn't neglect my left side, his hand cupping and squeezing my flesh as his mouth worked its magic.
My mind was short-circuited, overwhelmed by the pleasure coursing through me. I couldn't believe how my day had derailed, from waking up alone to Eren worshiping my body. He finally lifted his head, his eyes gleaming with desire as he stood and licked his lips. "God, you're gorgeous," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek, then my lips, the contact making me ache for more.
My hand instinctively reached for him, finding the hard length of his erection straining against his pants. He groaned into my mouth, his hips rolling into my touch as he pressed himself against me. "F-Fuck," he panted, laughter threading through the curse. He guided my hand deeper into his hard length, then higher to explore his chest, his nipples peeking under my touch, then lastly to his lips, where he pressed light kisses to the middle of my palm. At that moment, I knew I was a goner.
He gently laid my hand back down to my chest. Standing upright, he began to unbutton his pants, swiftly removing them. For a moment, I felt no shame in staring. But then I met his gaze, his eyes watching my every move, and a flutter of anxiety rose in my chest. I wasn't sure where to look next.
He bent back down, his lips brushing against my jaw as his hands slid lower, to the hem of my panties. "May I?" he asked, his voice soft. I nodded without hesitation. "I need words, baby," he said, looking back at me with an intense heat in his eyes. "Yes," I replied quickly. "Yes, please."
Eren pressed one more sweet kiss to my lips, his mouth trailing lower and lower as he slid my panties down my legs. He moved lower, his face inches from mine, his lips pressing gentle kisses around my center. I felt myself growing wetter, my breath catching. "Eren, please," I begged, my fingers tangling in his hair.
"Please what? What do you need sweet girl?" Eren asked, looking up at me. His nicknames always made my heart flutter, even if I wouldn't admit it out loud. I took a deep breath, pushing past my embarrassment. "I need you to fuck me," I admitted. "I need you inside me."
He didn't make me wait for his response. With a groan, Eren's tongue slid along my center, sucking my clit into his mouth as he spread my legs wider. I cried out, my hips arching off the bed. "Holy shit, Eren, don't stop," I begged and whined, my fingers pulling him closer. He moaned against me, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through me. I hadn't felt this good in years.
Eren didn’t stop, and it felt so fucking good. It just went on with his tongue for a few more minutes, my whole body in bliss, pulling me closer to my climax. “Fuck Eren, it's so good, your so good,” I said moving my hips to match his pace, moaning too loud. I bit my lip looking down at him between my legs, then I noticed his hips slowly rolling onto my bed. Before thinking anymore he pushed a finger into me, pushing it in and out. “Cumming, I’m cumming, FUCK!” I said whining, my knees buckled while going through my high. He left my core, all swollen and wet.
My eyes started to shut, exhaustion was hitting me pretty fast after calming down. “Hey hey,” Eren said kissing my face, his kisses were soft, yet filled with a fiery passion that sent shivers down my spine. “Just a little longer, Do sleep yet baby” I opened my eyes, “We still aren’t done yet”.
He chuckled, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. “You’re adorable when you’re sleepy.” I rolled my eyes playfully, but the affection in his gaze made my heart flutter.
Kissing me again, I could taste myself on him and I basically melted in his touch. Wrapping my arms around him, I savored the moment.
“I can’t wait any longer,” I whispered, my hands starting to trail down his abs, moving lower to his underwear band. Without hesitation, I pulled it down not wanting to wait, eager to finally feel him. He helps me and yanks it off of him. The sheer size of his dick made me worried on if it will fit or not. I gripped the tip softly and he bucks his hips instantly, “Shit” He said closing his eyes and encouraging me to continue.
While doing that I swiftly grabbed a condom from my drawer giving it to him. “You just have these laying in your room?” he spoke out while tearing it open, moving my hand away and rolling it on himself, “You never know, always gotta be safe,” I said while holding on to his arms for support. “Even during sex your just as a goody to shoes” making me frown, “Kidding, It’s cute baby” he smiled kissing me while rubbing his tip in between my cunt.
"I'll go in slow, okay? Let me know if it hurts," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.
"O-Okay," I managed to say, breathless and nervous.
He started with his tip, and we both groaned in pleasure. The pain was there, but it felt so good. Inch by inch, he went deeper, and my eyes rolled back with every second. His fingers gripped my thighs as he finally bottomed out. His face was in my neck, breathing heavily, and I had my hands around his back, ready for him to move.
Without a word, he started thrusting harder and harder. "F-Fuck," he gasped. "You're so t-tight and warm, fuckkk." He rolled his head back, grabbing both my legs and placing them on his shoulders.
"So good, fuck Eren!" I exclaimed, grabbing his face in my hands.
"Yeah? You like it when I fuck your greedy pussy like this?" he asked, thrusting harder. I couldn't breathe anymore. I nodded fast.
"Yes, yes, your fucking dick feels amazing, oh my god," I moaned uncontrollably.
I felt close, but I knew I never wanted this to end.
It was too much—overwhelming, yet I savored every second of it. My heart raced, and I found myself biting down on my finger, then my hand, my lip—anything to try and ground myself in that moment. But it was all too good, scrambling my brain, leaving no room for coherent thoughts or words. I was lost, completely consumed by the sensation, and I didn’t want to find my way back.
“S-Shit if you keep squeezing me like that I’ll fucking cum, ughh” he groaned picking up his pace basically making me lose all my air. “E-Eren mhmm!” Moans escaping my mouth every second I have a desire to open my mouth. “Yeah keep screaming my name out like that baby” he said pushing his head in the curve of my neck, his cock was abusing my cunt, I didn’t know if I can take this much longer.
The little noises he let out in my ears is what did it for me, making me cum hard and fast. My nails clawing erens back made me lose my mind, then seconds later I felt eren finish into the condom whining in my ear.
The room was filled with the sound of heavy breathing, both of us still tangled together, with Eren still inside me. I wrapped my arms around him, not wanting the moment to end, not wanting to face reality just yet. I had just slept with Eren Yeager—my roommate. Damn it, Ymir was right.
-
Ugh, it’s so bright. My tired eyes squinted against the morning light streaming through the curtains, forcing me awake. I looked around, making sure I was in my own room. It didn’t even matter—my head was pounding from last night. The girls’ night out, and… something else. Oh shit.
Slowly, I turned over, dreading what I’d see. There he was. Eren, peacefully asleep, in my bed, his head resting on my pillows. Someone pinch me.
I sank deeper into my sheets, replaying all the memories from last night. It felt like a fever dream. I had seen another side of Eren—one that I knew, deep down, I’d crave from now on. I’d wanted to give him a chance to fix our relationship, to build something like a healthy roommate bond, but now that he was half-naked in my bed, that plan had gone out the window.
My head throbbed as my mind clouded with thoughts of how things would play out. Could I let Eren into my heart, or was I too scared to face what that might mean? The overthinking only made my headache worse. I needed to stop spiraling.
Before I could dwell any further, I felt his arms wrap around me, making me freeze. The racing thoughts stopped. Eren’s breath tickled my hair as he pulled me closer, his hold gentle but firm, grounding me in the moment.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”Eren whispered into my ear, his lips trailing soft kisses along my shoulder. His breath was warm against my skin, and I felt the tension in my chest tighten. Do I tell him the truth? Should I just stay quiet for now?
“Just tell me,” he urged, pulling me closer. His touch was reassuring, but my thoughts were still a mess. I turned to face him, my heart pounding, and caught his gaze. He smiled at me, his lips brushing against mine before pulling back slightly to kiss the tip of my nose.
“Hey,” I said awkwardly, returning a soft smile.
“What’s up?” He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering for a moment. I hesitated again before asking, “What… what are we, Eren?”
His brows furrowed slightly, a flicker of confusion passing over his face. I braced myself, nervous about his response.
“Want me to be honest?” He traced a finger gently across my cheek. I nodded, holding my breath.
“I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “I know things have been messy, and I’ll work on it. I’ll fix my attitude, be better about my habits—whatever it takes. I just want to be with you. I’ll take you on real dates, buy you flowers, get your favorite food… just give me a chance.”
He wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me into a tight embrace. His words dissolved all my worries and hitting me hard, breaking down every wall I had tried to keep up. He was nervous, but honest, and I could feel the weight of his sincerity. I couldn’t help but giggle at his heartfelt confession.
“Yes,” I said, smiling up at him. “I’d love to give us a chance.”
Before I could react, he scooped me up effortlessly, laying me back onto the bed, positioning himself above me. His kisses trailed along my jawline, and I laughed as he showered my face with affection, feeling a warmth spread through me.
Later that morning, while lying tangled in the sheets, I grabbed my phone and sent Ymir a quick text: “You were right.”
I glanced over at Eren, his hand still intertwined with mine as he lazily traced circles on my skin.
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
#attack on titan#eren yeager#eren jaeger#book blog#smut#aot smut#eren smut#eren aot#eren jeager x reader#fanfic#anime#eren x reader#eren x you#aot fanfiction#aot#aot x reader#do not steal#love you all#oneshot#x reader#reading#read this#enemies to lovers#fluff
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The Beauty of Happiness
Summary: You and Hyunjin have been best friends since childhood, but you both discover those feelings have changed over the years.
Pairing: nonidol Hyunjin x fab reader
Genre: college friends to lovers (slow burn), fluff, smut-18+ MDNI
Word Count: 9.6k
Warnings: fingering, masturbation, lots of kissing, p in v penetration, creampie (wrap it up, wrap it up), oral sex (f receiving)
Notes: Thank you all! I have been working on this for a while now and thought it would fit perfect as a thank you for 200 followers! I love each and every one of y'all and appreciate each of your kind comments and reblogs. I hope y'all enjoy this fic! This is my longest one yet hehe.
Let me know what you think via comments, reblogs, or drop by my ask box :)
If you'd like to be added to the taglist, let me know! (age must be in bio or pinned to be added)
Please do not copy, translate, modify, use, or repost this work elsewhere without my permission. ©moonchild9350 (2024)
You met Hyunjin in elementary school, both of you being in the same class. He sat right behind you, pulling your pony tail whenever he could. You would get mad at him, turning around in your chair, giving him your best angry face, to tell him to stop. He would just smirk back at you, before shrugging his shoulders, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. You would huff before turning back around in your seat to pay attention to the teacher. That was one way he would bother you.
Hyunjin loved to seek you out on the playground, saying anything he could to bother you. You usually would ignore him, turning back to your friends to gossip about the latest fashion trends. Hyunjin was frustrated at the lack of attention you would give him, annoyed that everyone paid attention to him but you. He wanted to change that, no one ignored him in his book.
You loved to draw, bringing your beloved sketch book with you to school sometimes, sitting beneath the tree in the front lawn, sketching whatever caught your eye. One day you were focusing on a sketch of a flower that was recently planted, filling in the delicate lines of the petals. Hyunjin popped up next to you, looking over your shoulder at what you were drawing.
“I didn’t know you can draw,” the boy said.
“You didn’t ask,” you replied, not looking up from your sketch. “Why do you care?”
Hyunjin was taken aback at your response. Where was the sweet girl who sat in front of him in class? Who welcomed every new kid who joined the class, no matter who they were?
Shrinking away from you, he responded, “I didn’t mean to upset you….just asked a question.”
He made to leave when you looked up from your drawing, your cheeks flushed red.
“I’m not upset at you,” you said, looking at the boy.
Hyunjin turned around, looking you right in the eyes. “I draw too. It’s my favorite thing to do.”
You were shocked at his words, not thinking that the boy who always annoyed you and sought your attention would share a hobby of yours. You looked down at your sketch book before saying, “well you can bring yours to school to sketch with me next time,” you hesitated before adding on, “if you want.”
Now it was Hyunjin’s turn to blush, before saying, “uhhh…sure…if that’s ok with you.”
You nodded yes before turning back to your sketch. You listened as Hyunjin walked away, not believing he would bring his sketch book to share with you.
However, the next day, while you were at your tree, sketching a bird this time, he plopped down next to you. You looked up startled, watching as he took his sketch book and pencil out of his bag, before opening it and looking around.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
“Sketching duh,” he said while side eyeing you. “You said I could bring mine and sketch with you.”
You just sat there, looking at him. You didn’t think he would actually take you up on the offer. Shaking your head, you went back to your sketch, getting lost in the page as usual. All that could be heard was the occasional scratch of the pencil on the paper or the birds chirping as they flew by. You found it actually relaxing to sketch next to Hyunjin. He didn’t bother you like he usually does, lost in his own sketch. You thought it was nice to have someone here with you.
Your sketch outings became a daily occurrence, both of you sitting in silence, sketching whatever caught your fancy that day. During breaks, you both would talk, discussing your favorite things and sharing completed sketches with each other. You slowly became friends as the weeks, months, and years went by, now meeting up at each others houses to sketch, watch tv, or go on adventures.
You realized he was your best friend, sharing secrets and dreams with him.
****************************************************
That was years ago. Now you both were in your twenties at university. You decided to go to the same university, not wanting to be too far apart from each other.
“I’ve decided I’m going to actually become an art major ,” you told him one day as you were lounging on his bed in his apartment . You had been deciding whether or not to actually go through with the major. Ultimately you decided to go through with it as it was your favorite thing to do and you wanted to display your works in a gallery one day.
Hyunjin, who was sitting at his desk, looked over at you, “you’d be a good painter y/n. I’d say go for it.”
You hummed at his answer, picking up your pencil and paper to go back to sketching.
Hyunjin looked at you a little more before turning back to the essay he was working on. He’d always support your dreams, as long as he could be by your side. He’s not sure when the switch came, his feeling turning from friendship to wanting something more with you. He never voiced this however, scared that you would turn him away and even worse cut off your friendship for good. He was content at concealing his feelings if it meant being by your side.
After a while, you began to pack up your stuff to head back to your dorm. You had a few sketches you needed to finish before the end of the week.
“I’m heading out Hyunjinnie,” you said, “ gotta put the finishing touches on a few of my sketches before class tomorrow.
Hyunjin nodded, “want me to walk you back to your dorm?”
You shook your head no, “I’ll be fine. I’ll let you know when I make it back.”
Hyunjin looked at you and nodded ok. “Alright. Good night, y/n. Make sure to get some sleep yeah?”
“Of course! Don’t worry about me,” you chuckled with a toss of your arm. Hyunjin was a total gentleman. He always made sure you got to your destinations safely, opened doors for you, and treated you so well. Your cheeks would always flush with heat whenever he did these things, making sure you were well cared for.
You gave one final wave before walking out the door, shutting it carefully behind you. You exited his apartment building, feeling the cool, crisp air hit your face, autumn rolling around the corner. You bundled yourself in your jacket a little more and walked towards your dorm. It wasn’t far, just right across the quad from Hyunjin’s apartment.
Fobbing yourself into your dorm, you made your way to your room. You set your bag down by your desk, dropping your keys on the hook you kept by the door. You picked up your shower caddy, needing a warm shower before getting to work. Turning on the hot water, you stepped in, letting the water drip down your body. Your mind couldn’t help but think of Hyunjin, a common occurrence while in the shower.
You thought he was cute and he was such a great guy. You knew he could take care of you and your heart, but you didn’t know if he felt the same way about you. You drifted your hands down your body, leaving feather light touches on your hot skin, causing in contrast a shiver to run down your spine. You repeated this a couple times, imagining it was Hyunjin’s hands instead. You let out a sigh as you pinched your nipple, causing it to pebble. Caressing your breast, you let your fingers wander further down, running your fingers through your folds. You slid them through a few times before pressing them at your entrance gathering slick that was already pooling out of your pussy. Bringing your slick covered fingers to your clit, you gave gentle rubs to the bud, pressing hard every few strokes.
You wished Hyunjin was here, circling your puffy clit with his fingers, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You knew he would take care of you, make sure you reach your high in his hold. You brought yourself close to your orgasm, rubbing faster on your bundle of nerves, giving your nipple a pinch every now and then. You imagined Hyunjin’s lips on your neck, leaving sweet kisses as you came, rocking your hips along your fingers, riding out your high. Letting out one more shaky breath, you straightened up, shaking your head. These were dangerous thoughts, thoughts you knew would never come true. You finished your shower, wrapping yourself in your fluffy towel before making it back to your room.
Once inside, you checked your phone, noticing a notification from Hyunjin.
Ferret Boy 🦙 Did you make it back? (10:30pm) Hello? (10:35pm) Y/n…I’m getting worried here (11:00pm)
“Shit,” you said under your breath. You had forgotten to let Hyunjin know you made it back safely. Opening the chat box you replied:
Ferret Boy 🦙 Sorry Hyun. I made it back. Just got out of the shower. Please forgive me :)
You hit send and almost immediately got a response back.
Ferret Boy 🦙 Thank god y/n. I’ll think about it lol Don’t stay up too late angel.
You loved it when he called you angel. Blushing you responded:
Ferret Boy 🦙 Wouldn’t dream of it. Night Hyunjinnie <3
You set your phone down on your bed before drying yourself off. You picked out one of your oversized t-shirts and sleep shorts to put on. Tying your hair up in a messy bun, you made your way to your desk, where your sketches were that you were working on. Taking a seat, you picked up your phone once more, opening up your playlist before selecting your favorite music to sketch to. Setting your phone down, you picked up your pencil and started sketching, the soft notes of Bon Iver’s Holocene drifted throughout the room.
You relaxed into your task, focused on finishing up your last two pieces for the assignment. You were to sketch four pieces, the theme being things and or people you love. You decided to sketch a coffee cup filled with your favorite drink, a field of flowers Hyunjin took you to one time, your childhood cat, and last but not least Hyunjin. Once turned in, the top three students who score the highest will get to go on and present their pieces at the end of year showcase. You really wanted to be one of those who scored the highest as you heard that personal from the local galleries sometimes attended the showcase, scouting for the next big artist.
You were currently working on your favorite piece, one of Hyunjin. You were shading in some around his eyes trying to reflect the beauty and perfection you see in him everyday. Humming along to the song playing, you made your finishing touches. Setting your pencil down, you lifted the sketch up to look it over. Satisfied with your work, you set it aside with the other two completed pieces befre picking up the fourth piece.
It was a sketch of a flower, a white Lilly to be exact. You picked this flower for your assignment as it represented beauty and purity, something you thought fit Hyunjin well. The purity being your friendship, and how good natured it is, and of course beauty as Hyunjin was beyond beautiful. All four of your sketches revolved around Hyunjin, each representing a different aspect of your relationship.
Some people may think it’s a little much, to base your whole assignment off one person, but you saw no problem with it. You wanted to express how you saw your best friend for anyone that would look and hopefully Hyunjin himself will get to see them too.
You glanced at the clock, noting it was 2:30am. Sighing you finished your last sketch before standing up and stretching. Carefully picking up your four pieces, you carefully placed them in your portfolio, ready to be turned in tomorrow. You cleaned up your space a little before turning off the lights and sliding under the covers. Closing your eyes, you began to drift away, dreaming of sunny days far away with your best friend.
****************************************************
Your alarm was going off. Groaning, you reached over to your phone to press the snooze button, before snuggling deeper into your blankets. You laid there for a while before you felt yourself drifting off again. That is until your phone went off again, this time signaling you had a phone call coming through. Groaning yet again, you picked up your phone, noting the time of 6am before accepting the call.
Hyunjin’s voice echoed from the other end of the call, “Y/n, angel, wake up. Let’s go grab some breakfast before first period.”
You rubbed your face, attempting to wake up, before grumbling, “Hyun, it’s so early. Can’t we skip breakfast today?”
“Nah uh angel. You need food so you can get through your day. What time did you go to bed anyway?”
“It was almost 3am,” you responded, sitting up in bed. “I wouldn’t hate getting in a couple more hours of sleep.”
You listened to Hyunjin hum before saying, “I know y/n, but how about I buy you whatever you want. We’ll go to your favorite place.”
At that, you perked up a little. “Really?”
“Really,” Hyunjin chuckled.
“Ok, ok, you convinced me. Give me 10,” you replied.
“Perfect, I’ll meet you at your dorm ok?”
“Sounds good Hyunjinnie,” you said before hanging up.
Letting out a sigh and stretching your arms over your head, you got out of bed to get ready. Pulling on a black t-shirt, flannel, and jeans, you walked over to your mirror to do your hair and put on some eyeliner and mascara. Nodding your head at your appearance, you gathered up your books and tossed them in your bag. Slinging the bag over your shoulders, you leaned down to pick up your portfolio before walking out the door.
Hyunjin was waiting for you outside the dorm as promised, looking beautiful as always. He smiled at you when he spotted you walking down the steps.
“Morning sleepy head,” he chuckled before walking toward your destination.
“Morning,” you replied, yawning in the process.
“Did you finish everything you needed to?”
“I did. I think everything looks great. I hope it gets to go on to the showcase.”
“Of course it will angel, no doubt about it.” Hyunjin turned his head to smile at you.
You felt your heart skip a beat at his smile. Looking ahead, you saw the little cafe, your favorite one. The atmosphere was calm and not to mention their food and coffee were to die for. Hyunjin opened the door for you, you slipping through before he walked in after you. The smell of fresh brewed coffee and pastries hit your nose. You inhaled deeply, loving the scent of hope for the day.
“What do you want? Your usual?” Hyunjin asked.
“Yes please,” you responded. “I’ll get us a table while you order.”
Hyunjin nodded before walking away to the counter. You picked a table by the window, that way you could feel the warmth of the rising sun on your skin. You were browsing through your phone when Hyunjin came back, setting your coffees and pastries on the table. You reached for your iced americano and pumpkin loaf with a smile on your face, thanking Hyunjin. He nodded and grabbed his.
“So, what are your sketches about? You never did tell me.”
You took a sip of your coffee before looking Hyunjin in the eyes, the sun reflecting off the big, brown orbs.
“Not telling,” you said. “Want it to be a surprise, especially if it goes onto the showcase.”
Hyunjin pouted at you. “Aww come on angel, not even a little hint?” He pleaded.
“Nope, sorry,” you smirked back at him.
Hyunjin sighed. “Well ok, if you insist.”
You watched as he brushed his hand through his long hair. How can someone be so perfect and beautiful you thought. You ate in silence for a little, thinking of your classes for the day, not really looking forward to any of them. Well, you were looking forward to advanced art. Brushing the crumbs off your hands, you looked at the time.
“Shit, it’s already 7:30. I gotta go, don’t want to be late dropping my portfolio off.”
Hyunjin nodded, “ok, leave your trash, I’ll take care of it. Text me when you have a break, k?”
You nodded your head, gathering your bag and portfolio and walked out the door. Breathing in the crisp, morning air, you walked toward the art building, it being on the other side of campus. You didn’t mind the walk however, as it was a beautiful campus, trees and flowers everywhere.
Once arriving at the building, you opened the door, the chilly air-conditioning blowing in your face in contrast to the warm sun outside. You made your way to the classroom, plopping down in your seat. The professor walked in then, asking everyone to bring their portfolios up to the front of the class. She announced that the students chosen for the showcase would be notified by the end of the week.
You dropped yours off as directed, before sitting back down in your seat, getting out your sketch book. The rest of the class was spent drawing a still life portrait, your other favorite theme to draw…besides Hyunjin. At the close of class, you texted Hyunjin asking where he was. Your phone pinged:
Ferret Boy 🦙 I’m back at my apartment. Wanna come over
You responded yes and that you were on your way. You walked across campus to Hyunjin’s place, letting yourself in as Hyunjin had left the door unlocked for you.
“Hey angel,” Hyunjin greeted you from the couch. He had some shitty reality tv show on, the drama king himself immersed in the show. You kicked off your shoes, making your way over to the couch before plopping down next to Hyunjin with a sigh. You leaned against the pillow on the couch, draping your feet across Hyunjin’s lap.
“Why do you watch this crap?” you inquired as you watched the drama unfold on screen.
“It’s mindless. Plus the fights are entertaining.” Hyunjin replied.
“It’s entertaining because you’re mister drama king yourself,” you said laughing.
Hyunjin stuck his tongue out at you before giving you a smile, turning his head back to the tv. You pulled out your phone, scrolling through social media, as you got comfortable. You felt cozy, the tv in the background, Hyunjin’s warm body next to you. Before you knew it, your eyes began to close, feeling the effects of your late night. You dreamed of Hyunin and his gentleness, that he was yours as you were his.
****************************************************
You opened your eyes, finding yourself curled up in a ball, wrapped in a blanket. You turned your head, seeing Hyunjin sitting next to you, sketchbook in hand. You silently watched him for a while, watching his hand glide across the paper. Eventually Hyunjin noticed you were awake, looking at you still curled up in your ball.
“Welcome back,” Hyunjin chuckled.
You groaned and stretched out, feeling your joints crack with the motion. Pulling the blanket to your face, you snuggled in once more before asking, “I’m hungry, you should feed me.”
Hyunjin laughed, “of course, gotta feed angel or she’ll tear me apart.”
You nodded your head at his statement, knowing you truly were a terror when you were hungry. Hyunjin closed his sketchbook, setting it down on the table before grabbing his phone.
“What do you want to eat?” Hyunjin asked, pulling up the delivery app.
You thought for a minute before saying, “pizza!”
Hyunjin chuckled. “You and your cheese fixation.”
You shrugged your shoulders, not ashamed at all. Who doesn’t like cheese? While you both waited on the pizza, Hyunjin chatted about his art class and their current project. “We’re working on oil paintings. I’m really liking this unit. I think it’s my favorite medium to use so far.”
You listened to Hyunjin, in awe of him taking about his passion. Watching as his eyes lit up when discussing the topic of his paintings to the little uptick of his lips as he ranted about how he ran out of a paint, having to stop for the day instead of finishing the painting as planned. As Hyunjin was starting to discuss the next unit they would move onto in a few weeks, the doorbell rang, signaling the pizza was here. You jumped up, running to the door, scaring the delivery man in the process at your sudden appearance. You grabbed the pizza, thanking the man, before closing the door and making your way back to the couch.
You sat down and opened the box, grabbing a slice and taking a bite. You let out a moan at the taste, closing your eyes as you chewed.
“Is it everything you could have dreamed off?” Hyunjin teased, shaking his head at your dramatics.
You nodded your head before taking another bite. You both finished eating in silence, the pizza being too good. After Hyunjin finished his last bite, he turned to you. “Are you staying the night?”
You licked your fingers, licking the sauce off before looking at the time on your phone. Noting it was almost 11pm, you shook your head yes. “If you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t mind angel. We can cuddle!” He said, giving you a smile.
You both cleaned up the mess before walking to Hyunjin’s room. You sat down on his bed, watching as he rummaged through his drawers. Straightening up, he turned to you and handed you one of his shirts. You took the clothing, making your way to his bathroom to change. You put your hair up and then walked out of the bathroom, pulling the covers back and sliding in. Hyunjin had already changed while you were in the bathroom. He turned off the light and then slid under the covers, sliding in next to you.
“Come here angel,” he said, cradling you into his chest.
You cuddled with Hyunjin all the time, this wasn’t a new occurrence. But that didn’t stop your heart from beating wildly, as you tucked your head into his chest. You eventually were at ease and started to drift off, the feeling of Hyunjin stroking your hair lulling you to sleep.
****************************************************
The next morning, you opened your eyes to the blinding sun. Your back was to Hyunjin, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head tucked into your neck. You sighed at the feeling, wishing you could wake up like this every morning. You looked at the time, and let out a low groan. You had to make your way back to your dorm, as you had class in a few hours.
You pushed back the covers, feeling Hyunjin stir behind you. You got up, finding your clothes from yesterday, and going into the bathroom. You slipped on your clothes, tossing Hyunjin’s shirt in the hamper before exiting the bathroom. Hyunjin was sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Morning angel,” he said in a raspy voice. “Leaving?”
“Yeah, I have class in a few hours and I wanna go back to my dorm and shower.”
Hyunjin nodded, getting out of bed to walk you out. Right before you opened the door, he pulled you in for a hug, burying his face in your hair. You were shocked at first, but eventually wrapped your arms around his waist, breathing in his scent. You both stood there in front of his front door, silence filling the room. So much was said in that hug, neither of you wanting to pull away.
But, all good things must come to an end. Hyunjin pulled away, giving you a smile. “Text me when you get back, yeah?”
“Of course Hyun,” you replied as you put your shoes on. You opened the door, and made your way to your dorm.
****************************************************
The rest of the week passed uneventful, your days filled with class and Hyunjin. The day of the announcement of who would go onto the showcase was today, your nerves getting the better of you. You were at Hyunjin’s apartment, sitting once more on his couch.
You were a nervous wreck, your leg was bouncing up and down, a finger in your mouth as you bit at the nail. Every now and then you let out a sigh, checking the time for the hundredth time. Hyunjin watched you, observing how you appeared to become anxious as time went on, wishing he could do something about it. He reached out to you and placed his hand on your leg, giving it a squeeze.
“Hey, whatever happens, it’ll be ok.” Hyunjin sought out your eyes, finally making direct eye contact. You let out the breath you were holding, nodding your head once before turning back to your computer screen.
It was time. You pulled up the class page, eyes darting immediately to the announcement portion of the page. You held your breath as you read a brief statement from the professor, thanking everyone for their hard work and dedication. You kept reading, until the end, eyes frozen on the screen once you got to the name of the person chosen. You sat like that for a moment, eyes trained on the screen in disbelief..
“Well? Did you get it? Are you going to the showcase?” Hyunjin asked, searching your face for any hint.
You turned your head to look at him, your eyes finding his. “I did it.” You slowly said. “I’m going to the showcase.”
You both stared at each other, before a big smile spread on Hyunjin’s face. You couldn’t help but smile back, wrapping your arms around him in a big hug.
“I knew you would get it angel,” Hyunjin said, squeezing you tighter.
You buried your head in his neck, letting out the breath you had been holding. You did it. You fucking did it. You were in disbelief, still wrapping your head around the fact that you made it. Your sketches were going to be shown to thousands of people, and if you’re lucky, maybe even be displayed in the local gallery.
You pulled back, your hands still wrapped around Hyunjin. He looked down at you, eyes flickering to your lips before darting back to your eyes. You almost missed the movement, but it was there. You sat still , not knowing what to do, frozen in your spot. You removed your arms from around Hyunjin, leaning back to put distance between you two.
Clearing your throat, you asked, “Would you like to be my plus one?”
“Of course angel. You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Hyunjin replied, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
You looked into his eyes once more, watching as he gave you a smile. He dropped his hand from your face, his fingers brushing down your cheek in the process. You briefly closed your eyes at the feeling, before opening them and shutting your lap top.
“So what’s next?” Hyunjin asked.
“Well, I’ll be transferring my sketches onto canvas. I think I’ll stick to an acrylic medium. It’s what I know best.” You let out a sigh, “I’m going to be pretty busy this week. Th deadline to get the paintings in is in one week.”
Hyunjin nodded, “well I’m here to help if you need it…even if it’s just for company.”
“Thanks Hyun. I guess I need to make sure I have everything I need. Wanna go to the store with me?”
“Of course! Let’s go angel. We’ll get food while we’re out too.”
“Great, cause I’m starving now that that’s over.” Hyunjin chuckled at you, getting up from the couch to walk to the door. You grab your bag and followed him, both of you putting on your shoes to leave.
****************************************************
Later that night, you were back at your dorm, Hyunjin dropping you off after your store run and dinner. You took a shower, deciding to get started on your paintings after. You put on lofi in the background and got to work organizing your space. You decided to start on the coffee cup sketch, wishing you actually had a cup now. It didn’t take you long to zone in, focused on your painting, humming to the tunes playing softly in the background.
You felt at peace, the stroke of the brush on the canvas soothing you, as all of your worries and thoughts left your mind.
Reaching a stopping point, you looked up at your clock. It was already 3am. Cursing under your breath, you put your brush down, stretching out your arms. Deciding to call it a night, you cleaned your brushes, placing them back in the cup you kept on your desk. Grabbing your phone, you crawled into bed. Snuggling into the blankets, you found yourself drifting off.
The rest of the week went by quickly, your nights spent working on your paintings for the showcase. The day of honor was getting closer, along with your deadline to turn in said paintings. Hyunjin spent some evenings with you, watching you paint or doing some sketching of his own. You always made sure he couldn’t see your drawings, wanting it to be a surprise for the night of the showcase. He didn’t mind, knowing he would get to see them soon enough.
You appreciated Hyunjin’s company, as some nights you felt stressed, freaking out about the deadline and worrying about how people would react to your work. Each time you doubted yourself, Hyunjin was there to make sure to squash that doubt. Deep down you knew everything would be ok, but on the surface, every worry was brought to attention.
The night before the due date, you and Hyunjin sat in your room once more, your playlist on in the background, Hyunjin lounging on your bed. He was humming along to the song that was playing, as you put the finishing touches to your last painting. Setting your brush down, you leaned back to look at the finished product, smiling as you saw your recreation of Hyunjin on the canvas. You could never capture his beauty completely, but you damned near tried.
“Done?” Hyunjin asked, looking up at you.
“Mmhmm, I think so.” You sat back and massaged your temples, happy to be done.
Hyunjin grinned, opening up his arms beckoning you to come cuddle with him. You stood up, and slid under the blankets, snuggling into Hyunjin and letting out a sigh. You both laid there in silence, enjoying each other’s company. You listened to Hyunjin’s heart, the rhythmic sound soothing you. You didn’t realize how tired you were, your eyes starting to droop. You thought you heard Hyunjin say something, but you were on the verge of dreamland, not caring what was going on around you.
Hyunjin noticed you falling asleep, a smile on his face as he tucked you in. He settled next to you, his body facing yours. You looked so beautiful and peaceful, your features softening as you fell into a deeper sleep. He loved seeing you like this, the softness of your eyes, gently fluttering as you dreamed hopefully of nice things. He loved watching your soft lips part, your breathing slowing down with each passing moment. He loved you, everything about you, and he hoped to tell you so one day. With a smile gracing his face, he closed his eyes, hoping to dream of you.
****************************************************
The next day, you got up early, earlier than you normally would at least, so you could gather your paintings and bag. You had to turn them in today, so the professor could pass them on to the event coordinator for the showcase. You heard Hyunjin wake, sitting up in bed to watch you move around your room.
“Morning angel,” he said yawning, running a hand through his hair.
You mumbled out a morning, grabbing your clothes to put on for the day. You quickly brushed your hair into a pony tail, forgoing makeup.
“I’m leaving Hyun. Stay as long as you want, but I have to get these over to the building.”
Hyunjin nodded, laying back down on your pillows. “I’ll be here angel.”
You grabbed your bag and paintings and headed out the door. You made your way across campus, a little urgency in your step. Arriving at the building, you made your way to the classroom, dodging other students in the hallway so you wouldn’t drop anything.
Once you entered the classroom, you walked up to the professor, setting your paintings down carefully on her desk.
“Ahh thank you y/n. Congratulations on being selected. Your sketches were very good. I can see you’ve worked hard to transfer them as paintings.”
“Thank you,” you responded, a shy smile spreading on your face. “Will they be dropped off today? To the coordinators?”
“Yes, they will be. They’ll keep them safe and will hang them up in time for the showcase.”
You nodded, thanked her once again before walking back out of the classroom. You made your way back to your dorm, opting to stop and grab some coffee and snacks for you and Hyunjin.
Opening up your door, you were met with the sight of Hyunjin sprawled out on your bed, softly snoring. You chuckled, setting the coffees and snacks on your desk, opting to sit on your chair. You ate your pastry while looking through your phone, trying to keep quiet as your best friend continued to sleep.
You felt like you could breathe now, if only for a moment. Your next hurdle would be the showcase this weekend. You decided to go for a walk to help clear your mind. Grabbing your shoes, you made your way outside, breathing in the fresh air. You slowly made your way around campus, enjoying the scenery. The trees were starting to turn colors, the leaves a beautiful shades of red and orange. You smiled as squirrels dashed across the sidewalk in front of you, making their way to the next tree. The warm sun was beating down on your skin, warming you through and through. You were happy you went on this walk, your mind clearer than it had been thirty minutes ago.
Checking the time, you decided to walk back to your dorm, as Hyunjin would probably be up now. Opening your door, you saw him perched on your bed, nibbling on the food and coffee you brought back with you earlier.
“Hey, just getting back?”
“Nah, went for a walk to clear my head.”
“Ah, angel what’s wrong?”
“Just nervous about this weekend. What if nobody likes my work? What if me winning was a mistake?” You paced the floor, slowly becoming anxious again.
“Y/ninnie, everyone will love your work, I’m more than sure about that.” Hyunjin softly replied. He frowned seeing how distressed you were. “Come here angel.”
You slowly made your way to your bed, crawling over and into Hyunjin’s arms. You nuzzled your head into his chest, breathing in his scent. He slowly brushed his hands up and down your back, trying to soothe you.
You didn’t pull away, your head resting in the crook of his neck as he laid you two down to cuddle. Your lips brushed against his skin as you let out a sigh, your body slowly relaxing in his hold. You felt Hyunjin kiss the top of your head. You lifted your head up to look him in the eyes. Hyunjin gazed at you, his brown orbs soft and gentle, radiating his fondness for you.
Hyunjin brought his head down to yours, as he gently brushed his lips to yours. Your body tensed at the sudden intrusion, but as he continued to press kiss after kiss to your lips, you relaxed, returning his feather soft kisses. Hyunjin rested his forehead against yours, as you tightened your hold on him.
With a deep breath Hyunjin whispered, “I like you y/n. I have for a while. I just haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I like you so so much angel.”
You laid there in silence, letting Hyunjin’s words sink in. Hyunjin liked you. He actually liked you more than a friend. Your mind was spinning at his confession. You could tell he was starting to get antsy and probably worried at your silence, as minutes passed without you saying anything.
“Hyunjinnie I like you too. I really do.” You replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
Hyunjin smiled, stroking your face, and hugging you closer. He slotted his lips with yours once more, breathing out a sigh of relief. Your mouths moved in tandem, neither one of you in a hurry, your hands exploring each other’s bodies. You felt Hyunjin’s hands slide under your shirt, his hands sliding up and down your side before reaching your breasts. He gave them a light squeeze, brushing his fingers softly across your nipple, a low moan leaving your lips.
Hyunjin repeated the motion, again and again, in no hurry to move on. You felt yourself getting hot, your arousal leaking into your panties. You instinctively rolled your hips against his, catching Hyunjin by surprise.
“Angel, maybe we should stop,” Hyunjin said.
You let out a sigh. You really didn’t want to, but you understood why you had to. You nodded your head in agreement, a slight pout on your face. Hyunjin pressed a kiss on your forehead before untangling himself from you and sitting up.
“So, even though I said we should stop, we probably should talk about what this is.” Hyunjin said.
“Ok, I think we should too.”
“Y/n, like I said earlier, I’ve liked you for a while. Would you believe me if I said I’ve kinda had a crush on you since elementary school?” Hyunjin chuckled.
You stared at him in shock. You couldn’t believe it. All this time your childhood liked you the same as you liked him. You guys could have been together instead of wasting all this time.
“Wow, I never would have thought Hyun. I like you too. Does this make us more than friends?” You asked hopefully.
Hyunjin looked at you, “if you’ll have me angel.”
You smiled at him, genuine happiness reaching your eyes. You sat up and pressed a quick kiss on Hyunjin’s lips. “Then I guess you’re mine.”
Hyunjin grinned at your statement. “My beautiful girl.”
You blushed at his words. You watched as he got up out of bed, reaching his hand down for you to take.
“Let’s grab some food my love.”
You nodded yes and smiled, placing your hand in his as he pulled you up. You were over the moon. Seems like your weekend was starting off swell.
**************************************************** You spent the day with Hyunjin, in which it was filled with absolute bliss. Knowing he liked you back was like a breath of fresh air. You were over the moon, giddy, and ecstatic that you could call him yours. After all you had been waiting for this moment for years. You really hoped your luck would hold out until for the showcase too.
Hyunjin walked you back to your dorm that night, promising to pick you up the next day to walk you over to the building where the showcase would be held. Once he brought you to the door, he lifted your chin with his fingers, bringing his lips to yours. You felt time slip away, focusing only on the feel of his lips on yours. You would never get tired of the feeling.
Hyunjin pulled back, “good night angel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Night Hyun. Thank you for today.”
“Of course, anything for my girl,” Hyunjin said. “Now go to bed angel, you have a big day tomorrow.”
He watched as you made your way to the door, making sure you made it inside. You truly did have a big day tomorrow and the ideas of going to bed earlier than you normally do sounded appealing. You changed into your sleep clothes and turned out the lights. Your dreams were filled with Hyunjin once more, but this time they were a little different, your relationship having progressed.
***************************************************
Today’s the day. The day of the showcase. You woke up, blinking away your dreams, before letting out a sigh and stretching your legs. You checked your phone, clearing out notifications from overnight, before getting up. You decided to take a long shower, pulling out all the stops for the day. You wanted to look in tip top shape. You used your best shampoo, the floral scent permeating the bathroom. You let out a sigh, the warm water easing the tension from your body, your anxiety picking up again. You finished up, before stepping out and wrapping your fluffiest towel around your body.
Once back in your room, you put on your playlist before attempting your hair and makeup. You hummed along to the song, applying a little highlighter. You were almost done when you heard your phone buzz. Putting your makeup brush down, you checked your phone:
Ferret Boy 🦙 Hey angel, ready for today
Sighing you turned down the music so you could think, your brain only being able to focus on one thing at a time at the moment.
Ferret Boy 🦙 I’m getting there Hyun. I’m nervous tbh.
A few moments passed before your phone pinged again.
Ferret Boy 🦙 Oh angel, I’m on my way ok?
You let out a breath. What would you do without this man.
Ferret Boy🦙 Thank you hyun♡ I’ll be waiting.
You set your phone down again, turning your playlist back on. You were almost done with your makeup, putting on the finishing touches when you heard a knock at your door. You got up to let Hyunjin in, opening the door to see him standing there with coffees in his hand.
“Hey angel, got you a little something.”
“You’re the best Hyun,” you said taking your coffee from his hand.
Hyunjin stepped into your room and closed the door. “Forgetting something aren’t you?”
You turned back to face him, a smile on your face. “Hmmm not sure, maybe so.”
Hyunjin chuckled before closing the distance between you two and wrapping his arms around your waist. He brought his head down for a kiss, gripping your waist tighter.
“Ok angel,” he said pulling back, “let me see what you’re going to wear for the showcase.”
You were taken aback by the change in topic. Shaking your head, you walked to your closet, pulling out an outfit you put together earlier in the week. You decided on some jeans and a black top, keeping it simple and neat. You started to untie your towel to change.
“Close your eyes Hyun.”
Hyunjin obliged immediately, not wanting to cross any boundaries and make you uncomfortable. You quickly changed into your outfit, letting Hyunjin know when you were done. Hyunjin opened his eyes, his gaze falling on you. You could make anything look beautiful and this was no exception.
“You look beautiful angel. So so beautiful.”
You blushed at Hyunjin’s comments, your eyes falling to the ground. “Thanks,” you mumbled.
You walked over to your desk, plugging in your hair dryer and curling wand. You slowly did your hair, making sure every strand was styled correctly, talking with Hyunjin the whole time. You were glad he was here, his company causing you to feel calmer.
“All done,” you said, turning your curling wand off and setting it down. You looked in the mirror for any stray hairs that wasn’t styled, but was satisfied with your look. “How do you I look?” You asked, standing up and giving a twirl so Hyunjin could see every aspect of your outfit.
“Absolutely stunning angel. I think it’s perfect for the showcase. Of course though you look good in anything.”
“Thanks Hyun.” You took a deep breath and let it out. “I guess this is it. I’m ready.”
Hyunjin nodded, standing up and making his way to you. He grabbed your hand and then you both walked to the door and started to make your way to the event of the hour. The whole way, Hyunjin held your hand, giving it a squeeze every now and then. You appreciated his presence, excited but nervous for him to see your work. You arrived at the building, pausing at the door.
“Well I guess I better go in,” you said, letting out a shaky breath.
“You’re going to do great angel. I’ll be there cheering you on the whole time okay? Can’t wait to see your paintings.” Hyunjin said with a smile on his face. He brought your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on your knuckles.
You smiled back before letting go of his hand and walked into the building. You made your way to your professor.
“Ah y/n! You made it! Your section is over there. You can go wait in that area. The doors should open shortly.”
You nodded, thanking her before making your way to the spot she pointed out. As you rounded the corner, you spotted your paintings, the canvases lined up next to each other, the overhead light shining on your works perfectly. You took a moment to look at them, happy with how they turned out. You could do this.
**************************************************** Shortly after, you heard the rustle of people moving about, the doors officially opened. The hall was filled with soft murmurs and laughter as people walked from exhibit to exhibit discussing the works on the wall. You took a breath in and let it out, prepared to engage with those around you.
Group after group passed by, stopping to look at your paintings, murmurs of praise floating through the room. You answered the occasional question, explaining your inspiration for the works. People smiled at you, and rained comments onto you. You could feel your face heat up at the praise, you graciously accepting their praise and comments.
You’re sure a few hours have passed, before a lady who looked important walked up to you.
“Y/n?” The lady asked.
“Yes, that’s me,” you replied, a soft smile gracing your face.
“My name is Iseul. I’m the manager of Expressions Art Gallery. I’m impressed with your work. It shows such emotion and the attention to detail is beautiful. We would love to display your paintings at our gallery. Is this something you would consider?”
Your eyes widened in shock as you held your breath. Letting it out, you smiled, “I’d be honored. Yes, I’d love to display my work with your gallery!” You were over the moon.
“Great, we will be in touch over the next few days. Congratulations once again y/n.”
You watched as she walked away, in shock at what just transpired. You were excited, to say the least, your dream coming true. You looked around, spotting Hyunjin making his way to you, a huge smile on your face.
“Hey angel. Wow, look at these,” Hyunjin murmured, his eyes glued to your paintings.
You watched his eyes wonder from one painting to the next, studying the detail you put into the work. When he came to the painting of him, he gasped, before turning to you.
“Is that me, angel?”
You nodded your head. “It is. You make me happy so I thought it fitting to paint you Hyun. All of the places and items up here revolve around our years of friendship. After all, I’ve felt happy all these years because of you.” You looked down, embarrassed at your confession, worried Hyunjin would find it weird.
“Angel, this is beautiful. I love that you included our story in your work.” Hyunjin turned to you and grabbed your hands, bringing them to his lips.
He smiled at you, kissing your hands before bringing them back down to your side. The moment felt perfect, Hyunjin approved of your paintings, he was here with you. People moved around you, their voices fading away as you focused on the man in front of you. Hyunjin gazed into your eyes before whispering “y/n.”
You were brought out of your reverie after someone accidentally bumped into you, apologizing as they moved on. You cleared your throat at the disturbance and looked once more at Hyunjin. He stayed by your side the rest of the night, standing aside when you spoke with others about your work and moving back to your side once you were done.
**************************************************** The night ended successfully, the last groups making their way to the exit. You let out a breath, ecstatic that tonight was successful. You turned to Hyunjin, “ready to go?”
“Of course angel. Wanna come back to my place?”
You nodded yes, grabbing his hand, as you walked toward the exit. Once you both were outdoors, you took in a deep breath, breathing in the fresh night air. The stars were out and the moon bright, illuminating your path back to Hyunjin’s apartment.
“Soooo, guess what Hyun?”
“Hmmm?” Hyunjin inquired.
“I met the manager with Expressions. They want to display my work at their gallery!”
“Angel that’s amazing! Congratulations! I knew it would work out,” Hyunjin replied squeezing your hand.
You were grinning from ear to ear, thinking the night couldn’t be anymore perfect. You both walked up the steps of Hyunjin’s apartment building, making your way to his place. Once inside, you plopped down on his couch, a sigh of relief leaving your mouth. Hyunjin sat down next to you, pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his chest, Hyunjin grabbing the remote to turn it on to the shitty reality shows he likes to watch.
You both sat in silence, feeling comfortable in each other’s embrace. The day was exhausting so to say. You started to drift off, snuggling deeper into Hyunjin. Hyunjin looked down, watching you try to fight off sleep.
“Come on angel, let’s go to bed.”
Hyunjin turned the tv off before scooping you up in his arms and bringing you to his room. He sat you down gently on his bed, walking to his dresser to pull out one of his shirts. He handed it to you, walking to the bathroom to let you get changed. You shucked off your jeans and shirt and slipped his on, before settling back into bed. Hyunjin joined you a little later, leaving on the LED lights on his ceiling to cause a soft blue glow around the room.
He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your head before pressing a kiss to your jaw. You tilted your head, allowing him more access to your neck, allowing him to press wet kisses down your neck. He found your pulse point, lightly sucking on the skin, nipping at the area every now and then. You threaded your hands through his hair, soft moans falling from your lips.
Hyunjin pulled back, looking down at you. “So beautiful angel. My beautiful girl. Can I have you?” He whispered.
You nodded your consent, giving him a smile. Hyunjin smiled back before leaning down to press his lips against yours. He kissed you soft and sweet, his lips gently moving with yours, letting out low moans, as he squeezed you tighter to him. You could feel him filling out in his shorts, your slick pouring out into your panties. You rolled your hips against his, letting out a gasp at the feeling of his hard cock brushing against your clothed core. Hyunjin took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue tangling with yours. You let out a breathy moan, tightening your hold on him.
Hyunjin kissed lower and lower, pressing sweet kisses on your collarbone, his hands reaching under and up your shirt, rubbing your sides. He grasped the edges of your shirt, and started to lift it up and over your head. You laid back down after being freed from your shirt, your chest on display to the man above you.
“Absolutely beautiful, a work of art,” Hyunjin murmured, bringing his hands up to grasp your breasts. He massaged the flesh before leaning down to take a nipple in his mouth. You moaned at the feeling, as he sucked on your nipple, before giving the other nipple the same attention.
“Love your tits angel,” Hyunjin said before making his way further down, licking and kissing down your tummy. He placed a kiss at the top of your panties, his hands reaching to pull them down. He tossed them somewhere in the room, before looking down at you, laid bare before him. He gazed lovingly at your body, mesmerized by your curves.
He proceeded to lean back down, pressing kisses down your pelvis and thighs. You squirmed at the touch of his lips, wanting them elsewhere. Hyunjin continued to worship your body and press kisses on your thighs, nipping at your skin before he pressed a chaste kiss against your clit. You gasped at the feeling, before letting out a moan as he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit. Hyunjin latched onto your bundle of nerves, sucking the bud with his plush lips. You felt your slick leak out, the pleasure mounting as Hyunjin made out with your pussy. You rocked your hips, riding Hyunjin’s face, gripping his hair harder and harder with each passing moment. You were close, that familiar feeling of the coil in your belly ready to snap.
Hyunjin lifted his head, licking your slick from his lips. You whined at the loss of contact, watching as he pulled down his shorts, freeing his hard on. He stroked his cock, spreading his pre-cum up and down his shaft, his gaze never leaving yours. Bringing his cock down to your lips, he rubbed his cock through your folds, tapping it against your clit a few times.
“Hyun, please, need you. Make me yours please,” you whined, spreading your legs wider for him.
“I got you angel,” Hyunjin replied, pressing his tip into your entrance, before slowly sliding in. The stretch felt so good, you throwing your head back in pleasure. Hyunjin pushed and pushed until he bottomed out, a moan leaving his lips at how tight you were around him.
“Can I move angel? Can I make you mine?”
You shook your head yes, pushing your hips up to get him to move. Hyunjin smiled down at you as he dragged his cock out and pushed it back in. He rested his arms on the side of your head as he rocked his hips into you, gazing into your eyes. You tried to get him to go faster, begging for him to fuck you harder, but Hyunjin just shook his head.
“Let me make love to you angel,” Hyunjin gasped out. “Fuck I love you so much angel. My beautiful girl, all mine.”
You felt overwhelmed, the feeling of Hyunjin’s cock dragging in and out of you, in a deep but slow pace, little moans falling from your lips with each thrust. You kept eye contact with Hyunjin as he fucked you, whispering his name over and over.
Sweat dripped down Hyunjin’s face as he fucked into you, your tight pussy hugging his cock perfectly. You were made for him. He knew it all along, but these last few days confirmed the feeling. He rocked his hips at a slightly faster pace, his high approaching. He could tell you were close too, your whines getting louder. He brought a finger down to your clit, rubbing the bud to get you there. He wanted to cum with you, to drown you with his love.
You were close, Hyunjin speeding along your orgasm with the touch of his fingers on your clit. Your moans increased in pitch, the coil tightening, threatening to snap at any moment. You breathed out, again and again, your chest raising and falling with each thrust, the feeling more intense than ever before.
“Cum with me angel,” Hyunjin moaned out, his hips losing their rhythmic motion as he continued to rock into you.
With one, two, three more thrusts, Hyunjin came, his cum flooding your walls, the warmth of his cum and feeling of Hyunjin’s fingers on your clit bringing you over the edge. You felt intense ecstasy, your orgasm spreading throughout your body, the feeling more powerful than you ever felt before. You clutched onto Hyunjin, bringing him flush to your chest as he continued to rock his hips into you, riding out your highs together.
You both laid there, your breathing coming back to normal. Hyunjin lifted his head to press kisses against your face, murmuring “I love you” after each one. You sighed, more than satisfied, tightening your hold on Hyunjin.
After a while, Hyunjin detangled himself from you, slowly pulling his softened cock out of you.
“Let me clean you up angel.”
You watched as he left to grab a towel, and came to wipe you down, gently running the warm cloth up and down your body cleaning up the fluids painted across your nether region. He placed the towel on his bedside table before pulling you under the covers with him.
“My beautiful girl,” he whispered, his eyes never leaving your face. “Mine all mine.”
He couldn’t believe it, you were his, finally. He has you now and he wasn’t ever going to let you go. Pressing a kiss to your face, he soothed you to sleep, happy he met you all those years ago. Happy you gave a guy like him a chance. As his eyes closed, succumbing to sleep, he thanked the lucky stars that he was able to be with the girl who brings art to life and who is a work of art herself.
Taglist: @jeonginsleftcheek @jehhskz @thesilvernight0wl @armystay89
#stray kids smut#hyunjin smut#stray kids x reader#hyunjin x reader#skz smut#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#hyunjin fluff#stray kids fluff#hyunjin hard thoughts#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids#hyunjin#stray kids imagines#hyunjin imagines#skz x reader#stray kids x y/n#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin fanfic#skz fluff#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours#hyunjin hard hours#stray kids hard hours#straykids smut#straykids x reader#straykids fanfic#straykids fluff
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As I often do, I've seen a few posts going around lately lamenting the lack of interaction with fanfiction/fanart here on Tumblr as well as AO3, but after reading a particular comment last night I just need to say this:
If someone tells you that the lack of response to sharing their writing is making them feel so upset that they're thinking of quitting writing altogether, don't tell them that's not a good mindset to have and they should just have fun with it and write for themselves. (have you just tried not being sad? you'll feel so much better!)
Even if you're a writer who felt that way once upon a time but then you changed your mindset so that you don't rely on others' feedback for validation and now you're so much happier, that's not helpful. Because that's obviously not what the person who is feeling sad and defeated is able to do right now, and for most writers/creators that's never going to be possible.
And it shouldn't have to be.
Especially here. Especially fanfiction.
Fanfiction is something that's created because someone loves something and wants to share it with others who love the same thing. And this is specifically a fandom space, somewhere that is supposed to be a community where discussion and dialogue can and is encouraged to happen between the people who write and the people who read. So when there's radio silence when you share something in this kind of space, do you really not see how that would be discouraging?
Because of course I write for myself - I would never get anything down on the page if I didn't - but I share because ultimately I want someone else out there to read what I wrote, and with any luck, to get some joy out of it. But if no one tells me they did, how am I supposed to know? As far as I know I've just been yelling into the void. As far as I know, all that work wasn't worth it.
A metaphor I've seen as an example is that it would be like having someone invite you over and cooking an entire delicious, heartfelt meal, you eat it all without saying anything, and then just leave. Do you not see how that would be upsetting?
We put so much of ourselves into what we write, bits of our hearts and souls and the things that we love and are exploring and are interested in or confused about. It's such a vulnerable thing to share something you've created, so when you tell someone that they shouldn't care if someone else reads what they wrote or tells them that they liked it, you're dismissing a very real and valid experience for so many creators out there.
Because regardless of how slow or fast a writer is, or how big or small their fandom is, it's still hard and takes time and energy and dedication and love - all of it in between our day to day lives from the mundanities to the heartbreaks - to even get something to the point where we're comfortable sharing.
Now, I know that not everyone thinks that writers are silly or selfish or entitled when they ask for feedback. Before I started writing again after many, many years, the main reason I didn't really comment on fics very often wasn't because I didn't think that the authors deserved feedback, it was more that I didn't really think that it would matter. That my comments would just be noted - if read at all - and brushed aside and then they would continue on about their day.
I could not have possible been more wrong. You might think you're just one person and it's just one comment but it's amazing how it can turn a day (or week, or month) around. How it can encourage someone to finish a story, or make a connection they'd been struggling with, or even just manage to add 500 words to a WIP. It is truly incredible to hear that someone loved something I wrote, and if you've ever commented on or reblogged one of my fics, please know that it truly means the world to me.
I've gone through a rough time with all of this lately myself, but I'm doing a bit better now (for the moment), so I just wanted to say this, in part to remind myself when it inevitably gets hard again:
If you're reading this, whether you're a friend or you've never seen me on your dash and never will again: I'm sorry it hurts right now. I'm sorry you feel discouraged and lonely, that it doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore, that you're struggling to find a reason to continue.
But I desperately hope that you keep writing. I hope you keep sharing. You're worth it. I know it's hard, and if you don't want to and you're just tired of the cycle of giving so much of yourself and getting so little in return, I understand that, too. It's ok to be in your feelings about it, it's ok to feel drained by it, and even though knowing you're not alone in your experience doesn't change anything and it still sucks, it's normal and valid and there's nothing wrong with you feeling the way that you do.
But I hope that you are able to find the joy in it again, because you deserve it. ❤️
#ok to rb#fanfiction#writing#thoughts and reminders#every writer is incredible#every artist#every gif maker#every single person who submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known#who contributes to their fandom however big or small#deserves to feel that their effort was worth it#support the people who create the things you love#do you want to spread misery or joy?
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⠀「 Kisses to chase away the nightmares 」
Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!
[ Reader wakes up from a nightmare. Lots and lots of comfort ensues. ]
Aight. Had a Day™️ at work so this is what we're eating today
You sit up with a gasp, eyes wide and feeling lightheaded. The blanket is crushed to your chest, the hands that grip it shaking like a leaf. Each breath that leaves you is gasping and every inhale is no better— ragged gulps of air that practically sting your lungs with each mouthful that you swallow down. You're borderline frantic, eyes trying desperately to blink away the haze in your mind. You shiver.
Too cold. The air is too cold.
But that's something, isn't it? That you can feel the cold. That you can feel the scratch of the sheets under you, that you can hear the whirr of the air conditioning. It means that you're awake. That this is real. Not a dream.
That's the first thought that brings you even the slightest of comfort, that makes your racing heart calm just a little. Barely.
But your head is stuffed with cotton. The world feels muted, as if you've got water stuck in your ear. Your hands are still shaking. You look around— the bed is cold aside from where you've been laying down.
"Babe?" you call out quietly, in case he's nearby. No response. You swallow. Your heart is aching and thrumming in your chest, pushing you forward to find him right now. To ask for a hug. A kiss. Comfort. Anything.
You toss the sheets off, shivering when the cold air licks you and just manage to remember to put on your slippers before you head out the bedroom door.
Even so late at night, you find him in his office, eyes scanning over a sheet of paper with a thoughtful frown on his face.
You hesitate just beyond the crack in the door, peeking into the light of his office from the shadows of the hallway. Unsureness takes a hold of you, squeezing you painfully until you feel wrung-out and like this was just a stupid idea.
He's busy. Clearly he is. And it must be important too, if he's up so late fretting about it. You shift on your feet, swallowing, about to close the door back up.
This was a stupid idea, you think, deflating. You can just... bury yourself under the blankets. Maybe watch some animal videos. Hope that you fall asleep before he finishes and wonders why you're still up so late at night.
"You've been standing in the doorway for five minutes," he suddenly says, gentle but all-too-loud in the dead of the night. You freeze.
When you look back at him from behind the doorframe, he's already dropped his pen and paper back on the desk. All his focus is on you, and there's a worried crease to his brow.
He notes the shaky way you stand, how you worry the inside of your cheek. No doubt he can see the way you fiddle with the edge of your (his) sleeping shirt, too.
"What's wrong?" he asks, already getting out of his seat. His worry propels him forward, making him reach you at the doorway before you can even step foot inside the office.
You look away. "It's nothing. It's dumb, now that I think of it."
He clicks his tongue in disagreement, his hand reaching for yours and weaving your fingers together. "Try me, honey."
"... I had a nightmare."
There's a gentle squeeze on your hand, encouragement to keep going.
You take a breath. "I... can't remember what it was about. I just know I felt sick when I woke up. And I didn't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone."
He hums, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. "I don't want you to be alone, either," he says softly, and your heart practically melts.
"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" he asks. "I can accompany you." You can already see him reaching for the lightswitch with his other hand, but you shake your head.
"I don't want to pull you away from your work—" he opens his mouth to protest, the I'm just about finished, anyway undoubtedly on the tip of his tongue. "And I don't think i can fall asleep yet either," you admit. "Can I just... stay with you for now?"
He smiles at you, small and sweet. "If that's what you want, who am I to say no?"
With ease, he tugs you back towards his desk, making sure to close the door behind you. You expect him to pull out a chair for you or to lift you and deposit you on the edge of his deks, but instead he sits back down in his seat and gracefully sweeps you off your feet to place you in his lap. All you can do is gasp in surprise, head a little too fogged up to really register it until your legs are swung over one of the armrests and your head is tucked below his chin.
"This wasn't really what I was expecting," you laugh, and he stares at you questioningly.
"Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Mm, no. Didn't say that." As if to prove a point, you lean further into his chest, closing your eyes as you bask in the warmth of his body heat like a cat napping in the sun. You can feel the rumble of his chuckle under your ear.
His arm snakes around your middle, holding you to him, and a kiss is pressed to the crown of your head. Despite your earlier claims, your eyelids are growing traitorously heavy and your limbs are becoming more sluggish by the second. It must be how warm he is, you think. Well, either that or you just instinctively know that you're safe in his arms.
"Feel free to fall asleep," he murmurs, just low enough for you to catch. "I'll carry you back if you do."
You try not to yawn, burying your face in his chest. "Mmkay. You better not draw on my face or something while I'm asleep."
He has to hold back a laugh— it's good to see you joking around. Good to feel the tremble in your body lessen with each passing second. Good to feel you fitted up against him like a perfect puzzle piece.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
You yawn again, bigger this time and more insistent. The edges of your vision grows darker, sleep claiming you sooner than you thought. "Thanks," you manage to say just before you begin to drift off. "Love you."
He hums, rubbing a hand over your back, soothing you further as your breaths even out.
"Of course," he says quietly. Softly. "I love you too. Sleep well, dearest."
[ — Wriothesley, Neuvillette, Ayato, Diluc, Cyno, Kaveh, Albedo, Zhongli ]
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Second Nature
➪the one where hayden is not only protective over you, but the tiny person he helped make with you.
Warnings: fluff, swearing, hayden being the cutest ever, pregnancy topics, dt to the person who requested some family action a few decades ago, i finally somewhat did it
Word Count: 1.6k
Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡ | Happy 43rd to the man himself
“Hayden, it’s almost twelve in the afternoon,” you gasp as you round the corner and enter the kitchen, where you find your boyfriend standing by the stove with his phone in one hand and a mug in the other. “Why did you let me sleep in that late?”
Hayden looked up from the device and quickly set the mug that read World’s Okayest Dad down. He pocketed his phone before he made it over to you in three strides. “Why didn’t you call me so I could help you down the stairs?” He ignored your question and asked his own as he guided you towards the breakfast bar.
You rolled your eyes and grabbed his hand when he held it out to you and sat down on the stool, his arm wrapped securely around your middle until you were stable. “Because I’m pregnant, not ninety years old and needing an escort everywhere,” you replied and he just shook his head, pushing your hand away from the plate of bacon that was on the counter and instead giving you a piece that was overly crispy. “Gee, thanks.”
“You know that stuffs better for you,” he pointed out and ate the less cooked bacon you were reaching for a second ago. “Undercooked foods can be dangerous for the baby.”
You huff and bite down on the burnt piece of meat. “Who let you be a dad,” you muttered under your breath, unable to hold back a smile when you heard him laugh in response.
“I think we both know that was a joint effort,” he says and sets a plate of toast down in front of you. “Plus, I’m not a dad yet.”
“Yeah?” You ask, biting into it and nodding at the mug as he brought it up to his mouth. “That says otherwise, daddy.”
“And who bought it for me?”
You fail to hold back yet another smile and shake your head, leaning onto the counter. “I thought it was funny,” you defended yourself but Hayden only laughed again and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, reaching a hand out and gently rubbing your belly.
“You think everything is funny,” he says and sets his plate and mug down in the sink.
“You’re not wrong,”
“I know I’m not,” came his instant reply and you wonder for what felt like the millionth time how you managed to find a guy who you got along with so well, enough to the point of actually being able to settle down and start a family with. “I’m going to go get dressed while you eat your breakfast, then I’ll come back and help you up the stairs so you can get ready, too.”
You glare at him but nod nonetheless, and that was enough for him as he left the kitchen after turning off the stove.
Ten minutes later Hayden was helping you back up the stairs by taking most of your body weight on his. You got dressed in black leggings and a white tank top that showed off the curve of your belly, matching his casual outfit of dark jeans and a graphic tee. “Do you have the list?” He asked when you sat down on the bed so he could tie your shoes for you.
“Yeah,” you answered and grabbed your phone from its place on your nightstand. After opening your notes app you show him the list once he is finished knotting your laces and standing in front of you. “Do you need to add anything?”
He looks over the list before taking your phone and typing something into it. He grinned down at you when he handed it back to you, the new item he added making you smile.
“Bacon?” You asked with a laugh. “We’re out already?”
“Yes,” he answered and pulled you to your feet. “You should know that, you ate the last piece about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Haha,” you say and push him away from you, not surprised as you watched him come right back so he could escort you down the stairs and out to his car. He, of course, buckled you in and made sure the seat belt wasn’t pressing too tightly against your stomach before he moved to the driver’s side. “You’re too much.”
He grinned over at you as he backed out of the driveway. “I gotta make sure my babies are safe,” he winked and took your left hand in his right one as he began driving into town.
It was nearing one in the afternoon when you and Hayden entered the store. Your eyes were glued to your phone as you read the list, and he guided you around various shopping carts and shelves with his hands firmly on your hips. “Where to first?” He asked as he pulled you away from an elderly woman who nearly ran into you with her cart.
Hayden gave her an apologetic smile as she scowled at you, muttering something along the lines of ‘Kids these days with their damn phones’. It was funny, because you are very clearly pregnant and very clearly not a kid, but he supposed old people think everyone under the age of forty are kids compared to them.
“Produce,” you answered as you finally looked up, seeming to have missed that whole interaction with the lady. “We need to get you more bacon.”
“Right,” he agreed and took your hand as he led you towards the back of the store where the chilled food is. “Look, a sale. Two packs for fifteen.”
You snorted a laugh at him as he looked over all the options. “You’re such an old man,” you commented when he gave you a pointed look. “‘Look, a sale.’”
Hayden raised a brow as he placed the two packs into the basket he grabbed at the front of the store. “I’m thirty one, first of all,” he stated as if you didn’t know that, before leading you towards the bread section. “And excuse me for not wanting to pay more when I can pay less.”
His words did not help his case and you just rolled your eyes as you grabbed a loaf of bread and tossed it his way. “Whatever you say, grandpa,”
He caught the bag easily and dropped it in the basket as he furrowed his brows. “I thought I was daddy,” he pointed out and was continuing before you could even call him out on his choice of nickname. “Why are you getting whole wheat bread?”
“Because it’s better for you,” you answer and give his stomach a gentle slap as you walk around him. “And it’s daddy when we’re at home.”
Hayden just smirked at you and took your hand in his again as you scrolled through the list with your free one. “Barely,” he muttered and stopped in his tracks when the grocery section of the store ended and the home area started. “Baby, look.”
You glance up from your phone and find him staring at a baby onesie that says ‘Daddy’s Little Princess’. Giving him a soft smile when he turns to you, you step closer and settle against his side as he pulls his hand away from yours in order to wrap his arm around your shoulders. “Awh,”
“Can you imagine a mini us wearing that?” He asked and you shook your head.
“No, because they’ll be wearing that one,” you say and point at one that said ‘Dad’s Little Dude’.
Hayden scoffed as he looked down at you. “How are you so sure it’ll be a boy?”
Shrugging, you wrap your arm around his middle and guide him away from the baby clothes. “I’m not, but there’s nothing wrong with hoping. Teenage girls are nightmares,” you murmur. “Eitherway, I’m just happy we’re starting a family.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you led him back towards the freezers. “Me too,”
-
“What are you doing?” You hear Hayden ask from behind you.
Glancing over your shoulder, you squeal quietly when he wraps his arms around you and pulls you off the chair. “What are you doing?” You ask and give him a pointed look once he sets you back down on the floor.
“Saving your life,”
“Really? Because I was doing just fine before you scared me half to death just now,” you mutter and cross your arms.
Hayden shook his head and looked up at the cupboard you were searching in. “What were you doing? Seriously,”
You pointed to the top shelf. “It’s almost October. That means I can get out my Halloween mugs,”
He raises a brow at you. “Are you kidding me? Why would you risk falling off a chair for your Halloween mugs?”
“Hayden,” you say sternly and turn him to face you when he moves to look back in the cupboard. “If you keep treating me like glass, I might actually break.”
He sighed and moved the chair out of the way. “You’re right, but I worry about you. You have to be more careful now that you’re pregnant. Next time just ask me to get them for you so I don’t have to walk in on you balancing on the edge of the barstool again,”
You hold back a laugh and watch as he moves your spooky mugs from the top shelf to the bottom one. He had to move the regular ones to the top to do so, and you appreciated his help despite your previous words. When he gives you a look after, you grin up at him. “Thank you,”
“You’re welcome,” he matched your grin and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips before pulling you towards the living room. “Now come lay with me.”
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