#this is gonna ruffle some feathers
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and another thing. I just had a thought of Tim being captured by whoever, really. honestly, the circumstances are not important.
i had a thought of Tim in danger, and he shouts for Jason. not Hood, Jason. And he knows he can use Jasonâs name because when he gets here, all these people are fucking dead.
and iâm just picturing Bruce being on his way to help Tim, and all he can hear is Tim screaming for Jason. Heâs about to drop down and take care of business, and then shots ring out.
bang. bang. bang.
he looks again and all three kidnappers are dead, Tim is untied, and Jason is holding Tim to his chest. âItâs okay,â He mutters, âIâm here. I gotcha.â
Tim would never dream of outing Bruce or Dick, or even Damian. Thereâd be someone around to hear it.
But Jason? When Tim is in danger, Jason never leaves survivors.
#batman#jason todd#tim drake#this is gonna ruffle some feathers#i donât care#love u#robin#batfam#batboys#tim drake and jason todd#batbros#i just be talking#posting drafts
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hereâs a tamer one:
gimme all your unpopular stranger things opinions, pretty please!!
sav, bestie you know i love being controversial (sometimes) and i know that some of these may get me tumblr-cancelled or cause a fandom riot because most of them will be about billy (and by extension, max), but thatâs not my problem.
billy and max genuinely cared about each other. i know, some of you are gonna look at that and say âhow the fuck is that true??â but trust me. it is. both of them were forced into a shitty situation, and often took things out on each other because they were both misguided and trying to navigate things on their own. neil and susan obviously favored max, often neglecting billy and making him grow up on his own and way too fast. he was handling full-fledged adult responsibilities by the time he was sixteen, and he shouldnât have been. now while i think susan may have tried to evenly delegate her attention to both kids, neil completely prohibited that under some false pretense such as âbilly needs to grow upâ or âhe doesnât need a mother anymoreâ. any time max screwed up, billy was left to deal with it instead of neil and susan handling it themselves, like parents should, not older siblings (though i believe had it not been for neil, susan wouldâve taken care of max herselfâ i have some very complicated opinions on susan, but thatâs another story). every time billy acted out in violence, it was a defense and survival mechanism for him; and he probably did it quite often to protect max because he cared for her, and for the fact that if he didnât, heâd face neilâs wrath for the nth time (i.e.: the fight at byersâ home with steveâ which, in billyâs defense, was totally justified from his point of view). anyway, max and billy cared about each other in their own weird little way.
more on the topic of billy, he wasnât racist and he didnât target or dislike lucas simply because he was black. thatâs just a bullshit reason that 98% of the fandom uses to justify why they hate billy because they couldnât read context clues and use some critical thinking skills. he disliked lucas because he witnessed lucas and max arguing in the school parking lot, and lucas was upsetting maxâ and billy knew that it would be his ass if neil found out about it.
i think the whole âgirlbossâ angle theyâre trying to do with nancy kinda sucks and itâs ruining her character. she was definitely a stronger character in season 2 than any other season.
the series started with will, and it should end with will. i said what i said.
max stabbing billy with a needle and syringe with no idea what was in it is not the girlboss moment yâall think it is. what was in that syringe couldâve killed him for all anyone knew.
the sauna scene was genuinely billy begging for max to help him because he didnât know what was going on, until it wasnât, and max knew that was billy and not the mindflayer.
speaking of the whole mindflayer thing, yâall canât tell me that max didnât genuinely care about billy when she said âi really hope itâs not youâ in reference to the party suspecting that billy was the host.
oh and in season two when billyâs âthreateningâ to run over the boys?? yâall are delusional for thinking he really would lmao heâs an older brother and older brothers mess with their sisters like that. and heâs a seventeen year old with a cool, fast car. thereâs no way he was gonna willingly get himself a vehicular homicide charge in a bumfuck town in indiana. yâall are dumb as shit for thinking he would. and did yâall notice when max grabbed the wheel and made the car swerve to avoid hitting them? billy couldâve easily gone against her force and kept the car on course, but he didnât.
stancy shippers are essentially romanticizing a toxic relationship between two people who very clearly want different things for themselves and could never actually work, from a logical and realistic viewpoint.
on that note, stancy should not happen in season five. or ever again for that matter. fight me about it.
karen wheelerâs actions in season three canât be justified. iâm not even gonna argue on this one with anyone because yâall know what happened. sure she chose her family in the end, but she was really about to go hook up with a freshly-18 year old man while being in her 40sâŠabsolutely not, maâam. donât even get me started on the other pool-lurking moms.
itâs game night, send one of these!
#these are so brave yet so controversial i think#especially that first one#that first one is gonna ruffle some feathers#may even cause some heebies to be jeebied (get it?)#maybe even the second one too#me? causing fandom discourse with my strong opinions? itâs more likely than youâd think.#fandom discourse#morganâs mailboxđŹ#ask games#clovermunsonâs game night#savvyđ§ž
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ok i didnt expect to start smth with that postđđđ
#jatnp#jake and the neverland pirates#im sorry if any if yalls got offendedđąđą#also i worded that post rlly wrongly#was gonna say bro why instead of i like how#didnt want to ruffle some feathers yk
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Letâs just keep it all the way REAL.. most of these fans/stans donât care about whatâs going on in this world they just want their faves to speak out about everything to use for their Stan wars.
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Ughhh all the clothes I brought from home smell so fucking musty, even though I washed some of them before I packed them đ« so I'm gonna have to wash them all again
#i might just dump them all in the bath with some laundry detergent and let them soak for a while#bc clearly putting them through the washing machine ain't enough#one's velvet so that's gonna have to go to a dry cleaner so i gotta figure out how to do that in japanese đ#anyone who is competent at laundry feel free to share tips#this is what happens when you leave your clothes in a house with serious damp problems for a year#ruffled feathers
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im sorry but nsft blogs have to be the funniest shit on the planet like.. đ bitch its FIVE AM why is ur anons talking abt humping a pillow ITS TOO EARLY GTS OMF
and also.. WE DIDNT ASK FOR U TO PUT UR PUSSY ON THE PHONE GET THIS AUDIO OFF MY SCREEN AND OUT MY AIRPODS.
#picturingchappell#aestra can speak?#am i gonna ruffle some feathers with this one?#probably!#mfs jerk off all day and forget what the real world is like#pls be fr#and like#i donât have anything against sex work or anything#but on TUMBLR at five am is diabolical work
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Hate to break this to you guys but jokes about caring for animals more than humans is actually fucked up. Because yeah, ofc you guys will care about dogs and cats and pigs more than actual humans suffering and dying. Ofc you fucking would. "But it's just a joke" Maybe but if you don't get it's fucked up, you really need to take a good hard look at yourself.
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Thing I made for the crack chat server, youâre welcome to join! Find us on Disboard or my pinned post!
#(this is gonna ruffle some feathers but i love both okay)#(i say all this w love)#black butler#william t spears#claude faustus#kuroshitsuji#black butler 2
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have you guys ever experienced searching photos for your favorite character on pinterest only to see photos of your NOTP (in which they are a part of) appear as well...? đ€Šââïžđ€Šââïžđ€Šââïž
#not saying who#but there's this one ship in ff7 that i don't particularly enjoy...#seeing it just deals me psychic damage lmao#not gonna say shit just so i don't ruffle up some feathers#rant
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Viruses
"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. âïžyet
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fuck it. i'll go one step further too and say that the shit you guys argue about on here not only doesn't actually matter in IRL queer communities, you are actively contributing to the destruction of queer spaces. some day you will look around you as the last gay/lesbian bar in your area closes down due to lack of business, or as the lynching of a local queer youth goes unmourned, and ask "who did this to us?" and the answer will be you. by shredding any solidarity within the queer community and turning on your fellow queers in a moral panic. you did this. you killed your local queer community, and you did so gleefully. so maybe, idk, focus less on fighting your fellow queers and more on rebuilding the bridges you've burned. just a thought
i think "many queer people are purposefully deprived of regular IRL social interaction with other people, both queer and not, by our society" and "lots of queer discourse on the internet would be rendered irrelevant if the people engaging in it were regularly interacting with other queer people in real life rather than online" are two statements that can and shouls coexist
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Almost over this whole flu virus thing and then in today's class one of the kids is like "I don't feel well, I think I have a fever" before touching EVERYTHING and coughing all over the picture cards đ
#ruffled feathers#he wasn't wearing a mask ofc#most of the kids (especially the younger ones) don't anymore#some come in wearing masks but it's gone within 5 minutes#anyway i'm really hoping it's the same virus i've just had and not a different one#bc if i get ill AGAIN i'm gonna throw an actual tantrum#next week's my fave school so i can't be ill pls
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Not gonna lie, love the Only Human Series and some of the fluff you do.
Thinking of including this in my own fanfics, but want to see how you would make it. Hunter is a medic and a smart oneâŠ
How soon until she exploits the 141âs monster weaknesses?
Soap pinning you down only to give out to belly rubs, Gaz getting preened and his feathers ruffling when you hit the relaxing sweet spot, etc.
Cw: teasing, using vulnerabilities, tell me if I missed any.
At a certain point, youâd gotten tired of their shenanigans, the small pranks and fright they pulled on you when they felt especially cheeky. Gaz and Soap were the biggest culprits, their streaks of mischief the highest than any. Soap would jump you when you lounged around in the Task Forceâs personal red room, his round fingers finding a sensitive spot under your ribs and sinking into it with a conviction as strong as he had in battle. Gaz was the cheekiest of them all, throwing you a flirtatious grin before he swept you off your feet, pulling you left and right to appease his little need for attention, his talons finding comfort under your arms and teeth under your jaw.Â
Whereas Horangi and Rudy were more⊠mellow, their mischief calmer and rarer than the two first. Horangi, being a stalking feline, stealthily made his way around you, feet carrying him from shadow to shadow with utmost silence without alerting you of his presence and jumping at you when the moment was perfect. Rudy was the least problematic, his gentle soul a being of tenderness, yet still full of eager teasing, whispering sweet words in your ears while you worked, drawing your mind elsewhere until you shooed him off, still squirming in your seat.
You swore the others knew âyou knew they did. Ghostâs shoulders would shake in silent chuckles, his eyes warmly staring at you and Soap fighting on the couch after you fell down. Price smoked his cigar while he watched you, his shoulders slumped down and posture relaxed, unbothered by your screeching and Gazâs cackling. Alejandro, for all his sugary smiles, did little to hide his wide grin, enjoying watching your thighs clench and bite your lip when Rudy pressed himself against you, breathing flirtatious words in your ear. And König, the giant percht was consciously acting as a wall between you and Horangi, helping him get an upper hand into scaring you, his low rumble and big hands caging you between them after a scare, wandering over you until you scolded them.
You would get back at them âyou did. Soap was your first victim, the first out of eight that you would make him regret ever tiring you. You knew his tail was sensitive, the soft furs and the nerves connected to his spine made it especially prone to overstimulation, which made it your perfect weapon against him. When you found him relaxing on the couch, his body draped over it, tail swaying softly, you stalked towards him and pulled on it. He jumped, a loud moan slipping from his lips, his back shuddering as your brushed your hand from the base to the tip of his tail, his fur bristling up.
Horangi had the same vulnerability, his tail standing out like a red signal, dangerous and weak. This time, you used Königagainst him, walking as quietly as you could behind the percht, following them and only sliding aside when you found his tail curling upwards. Youâd never heard him screech as loudly as he did, his ears raised so high as he whipped around, cheeks flustered and eyes wide as he stared at you, his pupils dilated. Your stroked his twitching tail, smirking at his dark blush as he stumbled on his words, forcing him to curled towards you with shaky hands clutching your arm and waist. You turned a big, bad tiger into a small house cat.
Gaz was more tricky, you knew his wings were sensitive, the pin feathers prone to feeling the change of air current or touch but the muscle of his back, between both wings, was the most sensitive, it was robust, but a weak point for most flying hybrids. You teased him when he came for a check up, realising his wings had a few new feathers, short and young, still so new as they grew out of its root. You unconsciously brushed your fingers over them, gazing at his bare back ripple and tense, his sculpted back jerking and muscles moving at the slightest touch, then you found an excuse - you couldnât even remember - to knead his pectoralis muscles and watch him stiffle his moans and squirm beneath your touch.
Rudy was the hardest to pick at, he didnât have any animal characteristics or sensitive spots a monster would have, he - essentially - was a human with special powers. Then, you figured that you might as well give him a taste of his own medicine, turning the tables against him and tease him red. You had no qualms in hissing out promises and filthy secrets into his ear, your hands running over his shoulders and sliding down his arms, holding him still by the hips. You couldnât hold down the smile that kissed his lobe, feeling the skin warm with a fiery blush, listening to him stammer and choke down any whimpers that threatened to slip. It was your turn to leave him squirming and blushing, biting his lip to stop himself from following the sway of your hips, eyes bleeding out his need for your touch and affection.Â
Revenge tasted the sweetest when served cold.Â
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#x reader#cod mw2#cod mw2 x reader#simon ghost riley#konig mw2#soap mw2#soap x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#konig x reader#gaz mw2#kyle garrick x reader#price mw2#john price x reader#horangi x reader#horangi mw2#alejandro vargas#alejandro vargas x reader#rudy parra#rudy x reader#monster 141#monster cod au#monster 141 au#poly relationship#poly 141 x reader#Mw2 x
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TAGS/WARNINGS: reader is gender neutral but afab, reader and keigo are married, reader is a civilian, this is post-war, toys (duh), forced orgasms, heavy overstimulation, dacryphilia, aftercare GENRE: smut SUMMARY: WORD COUNT: 702 đŠâs A/N: god im almost free sorry if this is shit idgaf anymore i need to take a BREAK im sorry this is short as fuck
     when your husband brought up wanting to try a couple toys in the bedroom, he had failed to neglect that you would end up like this!Â
     blindfolded and bound spread eagle to the bed, with an evil hitachi wand tied to your thigh with its vibrating head pressed snugly against your swollen, hypersensitive clit, having cum a minimum six times, and at this point, your cunt had gone numb three orgasms ago, yet it still hurt.
     heâd had the heart not to gag you, at leastâor maybe his perverted ass wanted to hear your pretty moans turned to choked sobs and wails of his name, begging him to come back, as you werenât sure if he was even in the room anymore.Â
     keigo, meanwhile, had been in the living room, finally doing some of the paperwork heâd been putting off, listening to the sound of your whimpering and whining from his spot on the couch and trying his best to ignore the painful erection in his sweatpants.Â
     glancing at the clock on his laptop, he sees it had been about an hour and a half since he had initially left you like this; so he figures he should head back to check in on your exhausted form.Â
     the sight he was greeted with was better than anything any porno could cook upâyour back arched off the bed as you tug and thrash against the ropes binding you in place, the magic wand heâd tied to your thigh still happily buzzing away against your sensitive cunt, your inner thighs and bedsheets beneath you drenched in sweat and cum.Â
     âawh, darlinââyou look so lovely,â he coos softly and your body tenses at the sound of his voice.
     âkeiâkeigo! youâyou bastard!â you cry, wrists tugging at the silken ropes holding them so tightly in place. âyouâ bitch! lâlet meâlet me go! please!âÂ
     youâre right on the precipice of another orgasm when he agrees; âokay, okayâdonât get your feathers all ruffled, dove.â (SIR?)Â
     moving to turn off the godforsaken vibrator, he tenderly unties it from your leg, taking his time to run his calloused hands over your quivering thighs as he whispers soft praises of how you did so well for him. shifting to take your blindfold off nextâwanting to see your tear streaked face before he untied youâyou whine impatiently as he gently undoes the knot keeping the cloth in place.Â
     âyouâre so pretty when you cry, baby,â he says quietly. ânow letâs get you cleaned up, okay?â he suggests, tenderly caressing your face and planting a quick peck to your lips.Â
     itâs only a few seconds after that heâs untying your wrists, then your ankles, and turning on one heel to start a warm bath for you, saying heâll be right back.
     about five minutes of heavy breathing and sporadic twitching later, keigo comes back to scoop you up and gently set you in the bathtub, grabbing a clean washcloth to dip into the water and start washing the sweat off your sticky skin. during the intimate process, he makes sure to ask you how you were feeling and that you knew he was sorry for just leaving you there.Â
     afterwards, he drys you off with a soft, fluffy towel and carries you to sit in the plush chair in your room as he changes the sheets in record time, simply discarding the used ones on the floor of the laundry room, a problem to be dealt with later.Â
     âyou feelinâ okay, sweetheart?â he asks sweetly, voice laced with genuine concern as he picks you back up and sets you on your side of the bed.
     ââll be okayâŠ. justâweâre not doing this again anytime soon,â you tell him, mind still hazy from having cum so many times.
     he chuckles quietly at your words and runs his hand through your hair before saying heâs gonna go and get you some water; when he comes back, heâs greeted by your lightly snoring, absolutely passed out form.Â
     âahâthat checks out, yeah,â he grins lightly at the sight and sets the water on your nightstand before crawling into bed to spoon you. âsleep well, dove,â he whispers into your ear, pressing a light kiss to your cheek.
return to KINKTOBER | PRO HEROES M.LIST
#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#my hero academia x reader#bnha x reader smut#mha x reader smut#keigo takami#takami keigo#keigo takami x reader#takami keigo x reader#keigo x reader#takami keigo x reader smut#keigo takami x reader smut#hawks x reader#hawks x reader smut#kinktober#kinktober 2024#bnha kinktober
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There is a trend on some social media where the wife/Gf gives her man a full plate and only her self a little saying that is all that was left. How would Andy and Ari act in that situation?
What's Eating You, Mr. Levinson?
Summary: You decide to test your man's patience with a prank you saw on TikTok. CLICK HERE to read Andrew Barber's reaction to the same prompt.
Warnings: Mature Themes, References to Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, TikTok Hijinks, Brief Mention of Calorie Counting, Bickering, Manhandling, Threats of Spanking/Punishment, Discussion of a Sex Tape, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: Prompt brought to you courtesy of a Reader Request. This fic features Ari Levinson from my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!
You werenât quite sure what possessed you to do this. If anybody asked, you would claim temporary insanity. But right now you were about to get up to some mischief.Â
âI solemnly swear that I am up to no good.â You mutter under your breath as you adjust the position of the camera you hid tucked away behind a plant. Pleased with the angle, you make a mental note to revisit the world of Harry Potter sooner rather than later.Â
It was officially time for a reread.Â
Tonight you were gonna play a little joke on your bounty hunter boyfriend. One that youâd come across the other day after accidentally straying from the wonderful world of BookTok. You just hoped he would find it as amusing as you did. In fact, you were certain that he would.
Eventually. Â
Hands on your hips, you do an about-face and traipse back into the kitchen to get started on dinner. On tonightâs menu was a Tuscan pork roast, complete with red wine mushrooms and Haricots Verts â also known as French Green Beans. And for dessert, youâd decided to whip up your manâs favorite: key lime pieÂ
So, even if he got pissed at you later, you were confident you had something that would soothe his ruffled feathers.Â
Fingers crossed.
Later that EveningâŠ
The heady thrum of excitement hits you the moment you hear the open and shut of your front door. Having anticipated his arrival, youâd even thrown on a new dress and cued up a little music. While it wasnât your usual style, you knew without a doubt that Ari would appreciate your efforts.Â
âBird?âÂ
The sound of your nickname has a smile forming on your lips before you even realize it. Smoothing your hands over your skirt, you make your way towards your mudroom, eager to greet your handsome bounty hunter.Â
His eyes light up the moment he sees you. He stands there for a moment, drinking in the sight you clad in your new black dress and wedge heels.Â
âWell, get a look at you.â He breathes, allowing his bag to drop at his feet next to his forgotten boots.
âYou like?â Biting your lip, you give into temptation and do a little spin.Â
Confidence blooms when you hear his appreciative whistle. But thatâs nowhere near enough for your man. Because now that youâd gone and given him a show, he wanted more.Â
âOh baby, I love.âÂ
Pulling you into his arms, his mouth quickly descends upon your own. His tongue wastes no time finding yours, exploring every inch, every corner of your mouth. He lets you know without words that heâs so unbelievably happy to be home holding you like this.Â
You cling to him, your hands roving beneath the soft fabric of his t-shirt to run along the sculpted plane of his back. When he finally lets you up for air itâs so he can nuzzle his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet, unique scent.   Â
âYouâre beautiful.â He rasps, pecking your lips once more, his large hands come up to frame your face. âSo beautiful. Canât wait to take this dress off you later, see what you might be hiding underneath.â
âAll in good time, Beast.â Your lashes flutter closed as you lean into his touch. âAll in good time.â
âWhat if I donât wanna wait?â His husky growl rumbles from somewhere deep in his chest as he fiddles the material of your skirt.Â
âWell, youâre gonna.â Comes your cheeky response. âSo go on and wash up for supper. Weâre having something yummy.â You bat as his hands, intending to shoo him up the stairs.
The look that flashes across your manâs face makes it clear that heâd much rather have you for dinner instead. He boxes you in, slowly crowding you with his much larger frame as he backs you against a nearby wall.Â
However, you refuse to let yourself be swayed.
âI mean it, mister.â You repeat, poking him in the chest. âNow, be a good boy and go wash up.â Ariâs eyes darken at your words. His head dips without warning as he bites your finger, sucking the digit into his mouth, making you gasp.Â
âAlright, Duchess. Have it your way.â He growls once he finally deigns to release you. âYouâd best be ready for me when I get back.â With that, he gives you his back as he strides off in the direction of the stairs.
âI ainât scared of you.â You tell his retreating form, waiting until you hear his heavy footfalls sounding on the floor above you. Only then do you move, intending to finish setting up for dinner.Â
âAlright, sugar.â You think, taking a second to fluff your curls. âTime to earn yourself an Oscar.âÂ
Fifteen Minutes LaterâŠ
Youâve just finished hiding away whatâs left of your meal when you hear Ari make his way into your tiny dining room.
âHave a seat, Beast!â You call out, hoping that the act you were about to put on was at least mildly convincing. âIâIâll be right in.â
Blowing out a breath you snag your bounty hunterâs plate, along with a glass of wine, and head into the next room. Although he admittedly wasnât much of a wine drinker before he met you, he tended to enjoy whatever selection you paired with your meal.Â
Tonight youâd picked a lovely pinot noir.      Â
This time when you see him, youâre treated to the sight of a freshly showered Ari lazily sprawled in one of your slightly too small chairs. His still damp hair is pushed back off his face as he waits for you, patiently biding his time while he plans his next move.
Or so you assumed, anyway.
âHere you are.â You sing as you approach. âTonight I bring you an expertly roasted Tuscan pork loin, complete with a garlic and mushroom risotto and french-style green beans.â
âSmells good, baby.â He absentmindedly scratches at his jaw while he surveys the mountain of food on his plate.Â
âHopefully it tastes good too.â You lean down to press a quick kiss against his temple. âIâll, uh, be right back with mine.â The handsome brute smacks your ass when you turn to depart, making you yip.     Â
âHurry back.â He grunts, letting out a chuckle when he sees you trying to rub the sting out of your butt.
Seconds later you return with your food before quietly taking a seat at the table, all the while refusing to make eye contact. Picking up your napkin, you make a show of draping it across your knee, and thenâŠ
You wait.Â
It doesnât take long for Ari to notice the differences between your respective plates, and it takes even less time for him to speak on it â much to your internal satisfaction.
âWhat theâ?â Ari pushes his plate aside so that he can get a better look at your virtually empty one. âWhere the hellâs the rest of your food, baby?â His deep voice comes out deceptively soft. Â
âHuh?â You cast him a sheepish glance, feigning embarrassment. âOh this? Itâs fine.â
âThatâs not what I asked, Bird.â The quiet steel in his voice is impossible to miss.
âI know it wasnât. But this was all that was left, soâŠâ You trail off, averting your gaze in favor of using your fork to push food around your plate. âItâs fine.â
âThereâs that damn word again.â You hear him grumble under his breath, his nostrils flaring in frustration. âI got news for you, Bird. It ainât fine.â He grouses, reaching for you even as you shift away.
âBut it is.â You sing, daintily fanning yourself with a napkin.Â
âNo it isnât.â He sings right back, clearly not understanding your game. Which was a good thing. It meant that you two could play a little longer. Â
âLook, if this is about you feeling like you need to start counting calories againâŠâ Ari goes to rest his elbows on the table, his own meal all but forgotten. âThen please believe me when I tell you that you look phenomenal. And not just tonight, baby. I mean every night.â
You feel your cheeks heat as your body responds to his praise. That familiar warmth soon spreads, pooling in your belly while you mentally preen at his words. Â
âThank you, Ari.âÂ
âOh donât thank me, sweet girl.â His already husky voice dips another octave. âI just want you to eat.â You stifle a small shiver when the roughened pads of his fingertips lightly graze over your hand. âNow, do me a kindness and take your pretty little self back into that kitchen and fix yourself a proper plate.âÂ
And there it was. He thought you were lying about there not being any leftovers. He was right, of course. Just not the way he thought he was.Â
âI would if I could, sugar.â You stretch out your legs beneath the table as you prepare to really sell the narrative. âHonest. But there really isnât anything left. IâŠaccidentally only bought one pork loin instead of two. And then I misjudged the recipe for the risotto, but that was most likely on account of the fact that I was in my feelings about the state of Herb & Twineâs green beans selection. It wasnât very good.â
Ari doesnât tell you this, but heâs actually impressed by your ability to speak that fast without so much as taking a breath. Instead all you receive is a gruff âuh huhâ for your trouble. Â
âSo,â You forge on, now fully committed to the bit. âI salvaged what I could out of the meal I planned and then gave most of it to you.â
âWhy?âÂ
Boy, he did not look happy. Which was great news for you
âBecauseâŠâ You draw out the word, wincing when you belatedly notice the sudden tick in his jaw. âI justâŠfelt like you shouldnât have to suffer for my mistakes.â
âOh.â He hums, pursing his lips as he mulls over your story. âWell, I reckon weâll just have to fix that.â
Unsure of what he means, you open your mouth to keep talking, only to let out a shriek when Ari suddenly reaches over to grip the back of your chair to drag you, and it, over closer to him. Â
âChrist, Beast!â Your hand flies to your still-heaving chest as you will your heartbeat to calm down.Â
But your manâs not done yet.Â
You scarcely have time to catch your breath before youâre hauled into his lap. Immediately your arms go to weave themselves around his neck to keep you from falling. Not that Ari wouldâve ever allowed that to happen.
Seemingly unbothered by your rather dramatic response, Ari seeks to balance you on top of his muscled thighs as he leans over again to retrieve your plate. You watch in confusion as he unceremoniously dumps the contents onto his own dish before setting yours aside once more.Â
âHate to break it to you, Duchess.â He seamlessly adjusts your positions so that he can grasp his knife and fork. âBut I donât need all this food. So it looks like weâll just have to share.âÂ
Momentarily stunned by this turn of events you can only nod as he feeds you a tender bite of pork. It takes a moment for you to find your voice, but when you finally do, itâs to utter two simple words.Â
âAri, wait.âÂ
ââFraid Iâm not really in the mood to wait.â Your impatient bounty hunter warns. But he does pause his efforts, his fork hovering mere centimeters from your mouth. âYouâre nuts if you think Iâm the kinda man who would even consider stuffing himself while his lady sits by and starves.â
âI know.â You assure him before rearranging your body so that youâre facing him, your thighs now straddling his hips. âAnd I think thatâs awfully sweet.â
âGreat. So how about you ââ
âBut since this is a prankâŠâ The grin youâre sporting threatens to split your face in two. âIt looks like you get to keep your food.â
Ari blinks back at you, his mouth briefly opening and closing in a way that very much reminds you of a fish. You feel positively giddy as you press your hands on either side of his bearded face so you can plant a kiss on his full lips while he tries, and fails, to make sense of what you just said.Â
âRun that by me one more time.â His quiet snarl is enough to have you soaking your panties.
âI saw this thing on TikTok, where these women all decided to prank their boyfriends by serving them this big olâ plate of food, while pretending to give themselves only a little bit and claiming that was all that was leftover. They filmed their reactions and posted âem for everyone else to see.â
âWhat the hell is a fuckinâ TikTok?âÂ
âItâs this app where youâŠâ You pause as you try to find the right words. âWhere people can, umââ
âPost dumb shit?â He quirks a tawny brow as he tries to remain serious, even though youâre also pretty sure that you just saw his lips twitch. âCome up with new and inventive ways to torture the men that love them?â
âI mean, thatâs not all it is.â You take a moment to whisper kisses along his chiseled jaw. âBut I guess thatâs a pretty accurate description.â
âHmph.â Your grumpy bounty hunter continues to glower at you, even as his large, warm hands move to settle on your hips. âAnd am I right to assume youâre recording this?â
âMaybeâŠâ You giggle, not bothering to hide just how funny you found this all to be. âOh â but I was never gonna post it. Promise.âÂ
You hold up your pinky, trying your hardest to look solemn. But the look Ari gives you lets you know that heâs done falling for your act.Â
âIâm warning you, Duchess.â He grunts, lightly bouncing you on his lap. âI swear to God, if I catch myself on that fuckinâ tock clockâŠthingâŠyou have my word that Iâm gonna redden that ass.â
âI already told you I wasnât gonna.â You reassure him once more, resting your forehead against his. âBy the way, thanks for beinâ such a good sport about the whole thing.â
âNo problem.â He flashes you a feral grin, revealing his pearly white teeth. It shoots straight to your core. âBut the way I see it, you kinda owe me one. Donât you?â He leans in close as his hands begin gently kneading your curves.Â
âUmâŠI donât thinkââ You let out a soft whimper when he drags his nose along the delicate column of your throat.
âOh, but I do.â He nips at your jaw.Â
âI suppose thatâs fair.âÂ
âTrust me, it is.â His sensual growl has you practically shivering with need. âWhich is why youâre gonna show me where you hid that camera.â His lust-filled gaze drops to your cleavage as he openly begins undressing you with his eyes.
âNow hold on a minute, Beast ââ You stammer once realization dawns.Â
âAw, donât fret.â Ariâs rueful chuckle lets you know that you will never win this battle. âYouâll have your turn to direct our little movie.â Ari suddenly stands without warning so that he can gently deposit you back in your own chair. âEspecially now that I know how much you love performing for the camera.
Oh, the man had you there. Sometimes your Beast was a bit too cunning for your liking.Â
âI donât thinkââ You try again, now feeling shy. âWhat we do in the dark has no business being on film!â
âHm, guess weâll just have to keep the lights on. But for now, letâs get you fed.â He drops a kiss on your head before picking up your empty dish and sauntering off towards the kitchen. âWeâll talk lighting and camera angles once youâre finished.âÂ
Good Lord on high. What had you just gotten yourself into?
âHere we are.â Ari continues upon his return a few minutes later. He sets your down in front of you before taking your napkin and redraping it across your lap. âBut Iâd eat fast if I were you.â
âUmâŠwhy?â You ask, eyeing him warily.Â
âBecause.â He winks at you before taking a seat and enthusiastically spearing a piece of meat onto his fork. âTonightâs dress rehearsal starts in thirty minutes.â
END
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So, I have an honest question. Homelander is used to his bday being a huge deal, but what if the person he is interested in doesn't care about their own bday?
Like he has known them for a year, and they never celebrated their own bday nor ever hinted at it. How do you think he'd react?
Birthday Blues
Homelander x Gender Neutral Reader
Homelander hates when you keep secrets from him. But whatâs merely a harmless fact to you pokes a sore spot that you never expected.
You hear him before you see him, eyebrow raising at the angry stomp of his footsteps. Youâre finishing up the chapter of the book youâre reading and you hope he doesnât have beef with you because then who knows when youâll get back to it. You read as fast as you can, words almost blurring as you hastily scan the page. But alas, before you reach the last sentence, your book is cruelly ripped from you.
Homelander stands over your place on the couch, one hand perched on his hip while the other points your book at you as a replacement for his âoh so imposingâ finger that he loves to wave at you. His brow is knitted and thereâs no doubt that whatever has his feathers ruffled has something to do with you. You lean back and sigh, contemplating how long you should let him ramble before attempting to calm him down. Heâs cute when heâs angry. You can live with a lecture when he looks so good doing it. Although youâre hardly feeling charitable at the moment due to him snatching your book like some kind of barbarian.
âWhy didnât you tell me itâs your birthday?!â He hisses at you, dropping your book with a thump as he places both hands jauntily on his hips. His jaw clenches as he waits for your answer.
You freeze.
Huh?
You donât know what you expected but it certainly isnât that. You had expected him to be fussy about you grabbing a drink with Starlight the other night or helping Ashley with some insane task he gave so he could watch her squirm. You missed a call from him earlier, that tends to set him off. Youâd even believe he was feeling sensitive about you waking up before him and grabbing a coffee instead of a good morning kiss. Any of those would be easy to assume. But no, heâs apparently worked up that you didnât tell him your birthday.
You figured Homelander isnât a fan of birthdays. He certainly seems cynical about his own. He hasnât told you the whole story but when he grits his teeth at his birthday obligations instead of basking in the cheers of the crowd, you can easily make the assumption that itâs a sore subject. You donât have any hang ups about your own birthday but it just never seemed like a big deal to you. Itâs just a day. Perhaps too many sneak attacks from the singing staff at restaurants traumatized you. Maybe itâs because birthday cake is always too sickly sweet. Or possibly you just donât feel like celebrating the passage of time. You never tell people and people rarely ask.
Yet, you can tell by the petulant twist of his mouth that heâs not just angry but hurt that you didnât share it with him.
âIâmâŠsorry. I just donât really think about it that much.â You reply with a confused shrug. His mouth twitches and you know heâs not satisfied with that answer. Heâs taking this awfully personally and you canât for the life of you figure out why. Itâs just a day.
âAre you trying to fuck with me? So next time we argue you can bring up what a horrible boyfriend I am for ignoring your birthday! You gonna gossip about it over cocktails with fucking Starlight?â He spits out her name like a curse. You want to roll your eyes but you donât fancy Homelander flying you to the top of a skyscraper and leaving you there like the last time you tried that. You sigh and reach out to take his hand. He jerks it away petulantly for a moment but when you reach for it again he allows your touch.
âThat would make me a pretty shitty partner. Iâm not trying to play games with you. Iâve just never really had strong feelings about my birthday. Thatâs all. I promise.â You squeeze his hand and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. You rub the back of his hand with your thumb, enjoying the feel of the buttery soft leather of his glove. He pouts.
âIâm not a bad boyfriend.â He huffs. You gently tug his hand and guide him until heâs laying on the couch with his head in your lap. It only takes a few strokes of his hair before he deflates like a balloon. He turns to snuggle his face into your chest.
âIâm not.â He sighs into your shirt. You shush him gently.
âYouâre my good boy. I know you wouldnât forget on purpose. You take such good care of me. But why do you care so much about my birthday?â You switch from stroking his hair to rubbing soothing circles on his back. Heâs easily mollified today and it further confirms your suspicions that his feelings were deeply wounded. He desperately needs reassurance when that happens. Itâs sweet.
âDid you know that my birthday is fake? Corporate decided on it. I donât even have one since I wasâŠâ He trails off and your heart squeezes painfully. Heâs cagey about his past but every so often new details will slip out and it horrifies you every time. You continue to sooth him even as your stomach twists unpleasantly. âBut you do have one and you donât even care! Do you know how fucking spoiled you are?â
You ignore the jab although your hackles rise. Poking his ego now would prove disastrous. So you swallow your pride and continue to let him vent.
âI donât want you keeping things like that from me. Youâre mine and I deserve to know things about you. How can I trust you when you wonât even tell me your fucking birthday.â He huffs and you can feel him stiffen up as he works himself back up into an angry spiral. He nips at your stomach hard enough to bruise and you tug on his hair harshly as a reprimand.
âThis isnât me intentionally keeping some secret from you. I donât tell anybody.â You pause briefly as an idea hits you. âButâŠmaybe itâs your birthday today too.â You answer and he pulls himself away to fix you with a bemused glare. His brow twitches as he processes what you said
âI mean, if you donât know the actual day. Then technically every day can be your birthday. Itâs like Schrodinger's Cat. Screw corporate, pick your own birthday.â You give his shoulder a little shake and your heart lifts when the corner of his mouth tilts into a little smile.
âItâs my birthday today too then. Now you have to celebrate.â He gives you a smug grin and you ruffle his hair fondly. The hurt still lingers. This is a mere bandage over the leaking wound you know still remains. But if you can ease his burden even a little, youâre happy to do so. Even if it means making a big deal out of your birthday.
âThe mighty Homelander sharing the spotlight with a humble human like me? Itâs pretty scandalous.â You tease and he turns his head to kiss the sore spot where he bit you. He nuzzles into you one last time before sitting up. He leans in to rub his nose against yours, desperately seeking intimacy in such a vulnerable moment.
âNo spotlight,â He whispers. âJust you and me.â
You smile and pull him into a chaste kiss. He whines at the brevity of it and you place another cheeky kiss on the tip of his nose.
âJust you and me.â
He grins and his eyes fill with mischief as he meets your gaze.
âThat means itâs time for your birthday spankingsâ He reaches out to swat you when you bolt with a wild laugh, careening and slipping around his apartment in your socks as he gives chase. You realize as you shriek at his games that maybe birthdays arenât so bad after allâŠat least as long as no one sings to you.
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