#this is gonna be a hella awkward post if it wasn't you two... but I'm pretty sure it was??

[lebanesetoaster]

oh no 😂 unexpected consequence to my birthday

🤣 my ad-free tumblr just expired 🤣🤣

whoops! I forgot that would happen! shout out to @jennamacaroni and @wisteriaonbarefeet for the EXCELLENT gift in years past (I think I got two, two years ago??)

and if anyone is wondering what to get me this year, dashboard crabs are an EXCELLENT choice, as is the rainbow crab checkmark, and the rainbow checks look lovely too 😂

ANYWAY, can you fucking BELIEVE I am 37? feels like just yesterday we were all 22 and screaming about our glee ships. I love you guys. thanks for being my delightfully weird internet neighbors!

[ghostie-galaxi]

hi can i request first kisses with dkb? thank u 💞💞

Oh, of course! I haven't had a DKB reaction in so long so this makes me really happy! Also I just completely forgot I deleted my first DKB reaction this I guess is technically my first one now. But fr I complete forgot how much I love these boys and I haven't been keeping up with content lately since I wasn't the biggest fan of The Dice is Cast and Rollercoaster so now I get to go back and watch old content and holy shit I love them-

DKB First Kisses

E-Chan/Changmin

Nervous on the inside

Like he's really good at hiding it

Would be hella romantic with you he's so cute with the younger members I can't

Like ngl I don't like the normal 'romantic dinner's date so I'd personally prefer something different but there's different various so a normal dinner

So for now we're just gonna say it was a one night dinner cruise that you could spend together

Was a total gentleman the entire time

I mean look at him-

After dinner you take a walk around the cruise ship before endung up at the front

Don't have a titanic moment stands there with you with his arms on your waist

You look back at him and smile, telling him you're having a great time with him

He does the stereotypical 'you know what would make this better?'

Before kissing you sweetly

You smile before throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him again

D1/Dongil

Giggly mess

Like fr is just so excited, nervous, happy, and awkward all at the same time

Does something cute with you

Probably an amusement park if you're up for it, or if not you'd at least go to do other things

Probably tries to win you all the prizes for the games there

You end up with a plushie that you're never letting go

Takes you to go get ice cream while you're there

Waits for the perfect moment while your sitting down together

Does the whole 'you got something right there'

You ask where before he kisses you

You're too shocked to respond and just look at him

Tries to keep his cool but just ends up erupting into a blushy giggly mess

You get him back and do the 'you have something there too' and kiss him too

Teo/Seongsik

One of the only two who isn't that nervous (2nd being Junseo)

Like he just loves you and knows you love him so what's the big deal

Probably a quiet romantic place somewhere at night

Like either night shopping if there's food or a festival going on or like a boat ride of some sort

Like I just just imagine the lights being around you guys and he wants to see you like that

Holds you hand the entire time you guys are walking around

Guys you any good you want while your out

Is just happy to be around you

Once you guys are alone somewhere he gets to stare at you under the lights and how it shines in your eyes

Puts his arm around you making you look him at smiling at you

You'd hug into him and he just goes for it

Slowly goes in while you're looking up at him

Gives you time to react before you close your eyes and you both kiss

You're both smiling messes afterwards

GK/Gwanghyun

Tries to act cool and fails

Is actually nervous

He's very determined to not back out of doing this so he tries to impress you the entire time so he seems confident

I'm thinking something like lazer tag so he can be cool for you

Omg I just remembered an old OTP prompt post about 'kiss my in the corner, shot me, then walk away'

So imma do that now

Even if you're on the same time, probably takes you to right when you're about to win

Hides with you in the corner, waits a minutes, looks into your eyes for a minute before kissing you

Hopefully you can't tell he's nervous

Pulls away and shots you before walking away all smug

You're offended and afterwards you yell at him

Laughing at you but he asks if a kiss will make it better

This time though when he does you figure out he's nervous when he pulls away and see his face is bright red afterwards

And now you get to make fun of him

Heechan

He constantly coos over how cute you are and that's his only strategy, to make you flustered so he forgets it's awkward

If I remember correctly (cuz it's been awhile) he doesn't like awkward situations so he's going to do everything to make it not awkward

I see him taking you shopping just so he can annoy you with cheesy compliments

You roll your eyes and look away shy when he does

Keeps doing it and one time when he calls you cute he just goes 'i can't help that you're so cute, I just wanna-'

Followed but him wrapping his arms around you and kissing you

You're shocked and he just smiles at you and walks out of the changing room, leaving you to get back into your normal clothes

You come out and look at him and he acts as if nothing happened

Puts his arm around your shoulders as he walks you out

You're still blushy mess over what he did

He notices and coos over you again

Kisses your head

You decide to kiss him back and he wasn't expecting it

So now he's the shy one with his face bright red and you act like nothing happened

Lune/Sungmin

The one that's unbothered by everything is now freaking out

Like tries to keep his cool and can't

I just did this the other day so he takes you to a butterfly garden so he can be somewhat peaceful to help him

Watches you take pictures of the butterflies and holds his camera ready as a one lands on your nose, getting the picture

You giggle as it flies away and he takes the opportunity to kiss your nose where it landed to try and ease his nerves

Waits a bit for a better opportunity

Continues to take cute pictures of you the entire time

You go to sit on a bench together inside the garden for a minute

Fidgets nervously before going for it

Leans into you and quickly, making you look at him and kisses you

Pulls away and avoids eye contact for a minute before he realizes it wasn't that bad and looks at you to kiss you again

You laugh at him for being nervous but he's over it you continue together through the garden as normal

Junseo

I literally love him I hate how I don't talk about him T_T he's so cute

I literally just watched the video where he had Hardy-June crawl into his lap before one of their stages and that's how he is with you

Literally just big teddy bear

Y'all are having an at home video game date or something of the sort when you just lay in his lap

He holds you in his arms or just let's you lay there when he's doing something else

You eventually start falling asleep

Before you're really asleep he looks down on you, thinks you're cute and places a kiss on your cheek

You turn to look up at him sleepily and he's smiling too

Just decides to make his move and kisses you on the lips

He pulls away and you look up at him shocked, him smiling happily

You might pull him back down to do again or just sit up and kiss him

Just happy and holds you on his lap

Yuku

Nervous wreak

Plz he's so cute

Really just wants to hold you close you kiss but knows he's way too nervous to do so

Takes you to a cat cafe so you can have a calm quiet environment

Watches you play with cats the entire time

Talks himself up to finally go and do it

Crawls over to you to sit next to you

Goes to rest his head on your shoulder just to test the waters

Spends a couple minutes like this, mentally preparing himself to do it

Finally he lifts his head up making you look at him before he quickly pecks your lips

Backs away immediately laughing awkwardly and covering his face

Your laughing at him for being shy and go over to him

You wrap your arms around him as he's still embarrassed, face bright red

Eventually calms down and this time you decide to kiss him longer

You pull away and he's back to shy smiley Yuku

Harry-June

Nervous wreak pt. 2

Like he has no idea what he's doing

Honestly barely even kisses your cheek let alone now trying to full on kiss you

There's no way he's doing it in the dorm or out in public so he'd need a different way to do it so no one sees him

Maybe a nature walk on a mountain

You're a bit suspicious since this isn't your normal date ideas but he insisted

Nervously went to hold your hand while walking

You get to an area where you get to stand over a railing and look down on every

Stands there with you and waits for other people to leave

Puts his arm on the other side of you to get your attention

Probably goes into kiss you but second guesses himself and backs away, laughing nwrvously

But you got the hint and bring him back over

You tell him to close his eyes and you kiss him instead

You drag him back down the mountain as he's too shy to continue

[kyuus4ku]

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗧

yosano akiko

genre: drabble ; fluff

warnings: none

word count: 1K

a/n: take this as my first drabble🧐 not that proud of it -_-

"I have to tell you something."

"Usually, you don't have to make an announcement before you speak," she said before munching on what remained of her sandwich, "makes it sound formal that way."

A smile tugged at her lips as she chewed, her magenta-tinged eyes locked on yours, making your heart stutter for the right rhythm as your thoughts tried to catch up to the moment's speed.

You couldn't believe you were even contemplating on actually going through with this.

Was telling her about the dream you had last night really a smart idea?

"I'm serious."

"Y/n, by saying that, you're making me incapable of taking you seriously," she sniggered in amusement, a faint tint of mischief glowing from her face as she finished what was left of her sandwich.

You thought back to when you decided to tell her about the damned dream during lunchtime, and suddenly felt the urge to crash your forehead against the wall... repeatedly... until consciousness was nothing but a stranger to you.

If this went wrong, you'd have to stick around for the rest of the day to deal with how awkward it'd potentially become.

If this went wrong— if she misunderstood, or if she'd be able to explicate your feelings without having you confess them to her yourself.

If she didn't like you the way you liked her.

"You know what? Forget it," you raised your hands in surrender and put them on the table to get yourself up from your seat, but she stopped you by gripping your forearm firmly.

As dumb as it sounded, it felt like your infatuation for her was rejuvenated back to fresh vitality at her touch.

Even her grip was gentle, and the smile she still had latched onto her lips wasn't going to make falling out of love for her any easier.

"Wuss," she remarked in a domineering tone, raising an eyebrow and narrowing her eyes in evident attempts to intimidate you. You groaned and slumped back in your seat, crossing your arms in a mulish attitude.

"I'm not a wuss," you grumbled stubbornly.

"You sure sound like one," she sipped on her iced tea with dignity, that stupidly charming smile still bolted to her lips, "Come on, prove me wrong."

You sighed deeply, shaking off the inapt nerves which dented every inch of your ego. You then mustered up the courage to say what you didn't really want to say.

"I had a dream about you."

"Uh huh," she nodded, eyes glimmering with intrigue and anticipation.

"We kissed," you admitted, completely disappointing the side of you that wanted to piece together a whole dramatic build-up before you reached that part of the dream.

You knew that your feelings were going to swallow you whole if you didn't get them off your chest, but you didn't expect yourself to be that desperate.

Regret started to root its cause into the walls of your bones the minute you saw her expression fade into the finest type of indiscernibility.

Then, the most irresistible smile pulled at the corner of her pretty lips.

"That's it?" she laced her fingers together, her elbows planting themselves on the table as she leaned forward to fix her eyes on yours, "The person I know would've added flair to their story before getting to the climax."

"I panicked!" you whined in frustration as you buried your face in your hands, rubbing your eyes as a flustered grin shone through your lips. She couldn't help but laugh at how unbelievably nervous you were getting.

She got out of her seat and traced her steps toward where you were sitting. She sat on the edge of the table, her purple irises brighter than ever as her gaze fixed itself on you with what anyone but you could perceive as affection.

"What made us kiss?" she crossed her arms coolly, "It can't be only because I'm incredibly alluring, right?"

You clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes at her burst of self-approval— the type of reaction she always adored.

"So... we were running away from something..." you poked at your chin as you tried to recall every detail, "Some kind of monster..."

"Monster?"

"Yeah, my subconscious is hella creative," you winked at her with pride, "Anyways, I got really riled up because I hate being chased."

"Being chased? Really?"

"Yes. I get really... defensive," you ignored her snort of ridicule and went on, "So when we managed to get a place to hide, I started babbling a lot of words and pacing around frantically. You tried to calm me down but I refused to stay still. So... one thing led to another... you gave up and pulled me into a kiss."

Time hung on your words as the moment froze in silence. You expected her to brush it off and leave the room, and honestly, that would've been a hundred times better than being told "Sorry, I don't really think of you that way."

But what she said and did next didn't really match up to your predictions.

"Was I a good kisser?" you could've sworn her face was a little farther from yours just a few seconds ago. You got out of your seat and backed away slightly, wondering if you were reading her body language wrong or not.

"Yeah, well... I was better," you shrugged smugly, smirking as you did so. She stretched her arms to place her palms flat on the table, supporting her figure as she leaned back with her head tilted in what you interpreted as enticement.

"Really?" a tut of skepticism reached your ears. She looked around the room and then back at you.

"Prove it."

All the gears in your brain clicked. You stepped forward, held the sides of her face softly, and kissed her.

You felt her lips stretch into a blissful smile as your lips connected. The two of you were sent to seventh heaven as electrifying sparks of restless elation galvanized you both into an unwillingness to pull away.

"Hm," you heard her hum as she pulled away, piercing your gaze with the purple stars in her eyes as her finger caressed the side of your face gently. You smiled at her, not realising how unsteady your breathing was.

"Point taken," she sang out quietly, pulling you by the collar to meet you in a kiss once again.

taglist: @pompompurin1028 @hanazou @shamelesspastawobblerland @hanges-gf @whorefordazai

comment under here if you wanna be a part of my taglist!

a/n: ehh i'm not rlly gonna be active on most of my socials for a little while, and most of my posts/reblogs will be queued. i won't be gone for long hehe and i won't stop writing— just gonna be a little ia in terms of interactions 😴 mwah ty for reading!

fun fact: i rlly did dream about kissing a girl <3

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[myvelouri]

I need to be really open

Right now I'm about to post totally openly and it's going to beong because my night was long

So I was at the bar and the girl buddy I wrote about who didn't remember me, who used to remember me when she ran into me back then... Yeah she didn't remember me and it hurt my feelings really badly. Look, it just did, okay? I don't forget people I've had coffee with under funny circumstances and people uve bonded with. She used to support my depression and all that and was totally into me back then as she's the one who told me I have awesome hair and always wanted to tell me

Yeah that was her back then, just fucking only 3 years ago, it's not even that long, let alone I texted her just a few months ago

My heart breaks a bit. And she was there with a buddy of mine. I didn't know he'd be there. I felt so hurt by that? Because I thought me and her were hella cool... We used to text jokes about this guy in a class. I just can't believe you'd forget me

I can't

Especially since she thought I was attractive AND THEN we had a bonding moment over coffee one day

I'm so hurt, I can't explain it, I don't know if it's okay for me to feel this way, I don't know if it's wrong to feel this way. .. I'm just very HURT and it makes me want to cry, I'm not crying, but it feels like it and I just... I don't understand and I can't shake the awkwardness. I met her and she still didn't remember me. I had to explain to her who I was and it felt so unnatural

I still feel woozy about that! I hated that! I did! My buddy told me she said to him "I think I know that guy" REALLY?! Bro it's not like me and her were acquaintances. Omfg. We were seen together plenty times

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL? It's not like I was trying to fuck her or anything, I just felt like it was a special connection when I met her. Not that we were close but she was one of those rare open people and thought we'd never forget each other

It makes me a little sick to my stomach, as in, just feeling, I don't know why, and to know she didn't want to hang with me but hung out with Eric... I'm just so confused!! I can't do this right now! Not right now! Too much, it's too much right now!

Okay so I was outside at the bar very sad and slum. I got to the bar and ordered another drink. The waitress there, the one that hates me, she was here so I tried to be nice and asked "how are you doing?" And she ignored me, and I said her name, kaeton, I was like, "kaeton??" And she still ignored me. Suffice it to say my heart felt even more hurt. The more and more I try to give myself, the more and more I'm being shut down..

I just wanted to die at that point

So I went outside to write to myself with my new beer

Suddenly a fight is happening. I interject cause they came my way, two dudes and the small one is toast. So I help the big one out and say yo, here come here, chill, and I tried to sit them down. And then the big one pushed me as if I'm an enemy and said "NAH GET OUT OF MY WAY, HES MY NEPHEW" and I said BRO CHILL, IM HERE TO HELP, ON YOUR SIDE. And later he apologized to me saying he's sorry he was like that and that it indeed was his nephew who was causing the scene. I said I know they man, I wanted to stop you guys from tumbling over people. He was cool man. We talked afterwards. No problem at all. Chill dude. Infact the waitress that hates me? I am pretty sure she gave him her number. Doesn't matter

So guess what? Another fight breaks out from that. Again came my way. I saw the two bartender guys that work there. Casey and Calvin. I know them somewhat. I'm a regular at this bar bro. And I see this dude pushing Calvin around and I got so upset that I went up and stopped him, grabbed him by the neck (the drunk douche) and said nah, chill, you're out bro and he started calling me "what? YOU FAG, YOU FUCKING GAY FAGGOT" because of the way I look. And I was quick to remark about his dumbass appearance about his glasses and cap combo. And he kept going but my skinny ass was able to push him out the door. And I bumped into Sam, my other favorite waitress there who I've slowly gotten close to. I'll tell you more about that. She was a bit frazzled by it all. And I accidentally made her drop drinks on herself as she was trying to serve someone else but that's cause I was getting angry and talking mad shit back to this douche bag I was pushing out by the neck. And Casey, not Calvin, but Casey, pushed me out of that grip and I understood, to let go and let the people working here take care of it. I didn't mean to be bad. I was just upset seeing one of the workers here that I like being pushed around so rough. It wasn't okay. And like. Yeah

So when I came back to the outside, lots of people came up to me. Some said wow, wtf happenened, we saw, you were involved and we were like WTF

Others, like Eric saw it and then he left cause he said he didn't want to see drunkards brawling. In my heart I thought, wow, Eric, I wasn't, I was pushing him out because the drunkard was ALREADY hitting the wait staff.

Anyway, other people came up to me and told me "wow bro when he called you a fag? Dude nah I almost ran in there and knocked him out, I'm surprised you didn't, he called you a fag so many times" and I said "yeah I was getting to that point but Casey stopped me"

Um, girls started looking at me and smiling at me. I don't know why but girls thought it was attractive that I pushed out a douche bag out of the bar, whilst being called a fag and horrible names. Idk man.

A lot of people came up to me. I didn't even realize everyone was watching. To me it lasted a second. To everyone else telling me about it, they said it lasted a good 6 minutes straight

Jesus

Okay so I went to Steve's house with Ronnie and Hector. Love these dudes. Steve is hella old but he's awesome. We smoked and drank. We got hungry so me, Ronnie and Hector went to whataburger. We ate and suddenly Sam, the waitress from the bar came over and scared me..I was HOLY SHIT WTF HOW

she said she was driving and saw us so she came in to eat with us. Ugh sam is so cute. She's been so hot this entire time. She's the one who I accidentally spilled a bit of beer on as she was trying to serve it, remember? And so after that happened, I went up to her and said "hey, I'm sorry I spilled that on you, Sam" and she was so surprised I was like this (it's just me) and she was like "omg you're so sweet" and was like "no it's fine" so fast forward to whataburger. Ya man. Hector left and Ronnie left. It was just me and Sam. And the guy working at Whataburger was trying to fuck sam. Poor guy, bless his heart, he has a crush on Sam, and, you know, she just doesn't like him. So she told me to help her sneak out when he isn't looking. And I did lol. So me and her started talking a lot outside. And the dude comes out and says to her "hey Sam, I'm about to smoke a cigarette, wanna join me?" Literally has balls trying to cock block ME. I MEAN, I wasn't trying to fuck Sam, I'm just saying to HIM it looked like I was kinda with her and had been with her a while alone, so for him to come up, was ballsy. Like bro, you for real?

She brushed him off. And she looked at me and said "come on" and I asked her "Bro why are you acting like he has a chance?!" And she said she has to because she comes here to eat often at nights hahaha. I said okay, totally understandable hahahaha

And then she told me, I grew on her. She's seen me many nights and has seen who I am. And she finally sees the real me. She said she appreciates me and wants to hang out and stuff. I was surprised. I felt appreciated greatly. Especially after such an awful night. Which is still affecting me. I don't know how Jenny forgot me. I can't believe I was trying to call her Emily at first. Awful. It was an accident, not that she heard me. But, wow, she didn't remember me at all.

It hurts still... Because that means I've gotten so so ugly to the point where girls who used to think I was hot as fuck don't even recognize me anymore (that's how ugly and different I've gotten physically) oh no I'm gonna cry. I can't take it

The end of tonight was good! Why can't I accept that!

I'm actually tearing up

This is so awful

What is wrong with me