#this is for everyone going through tough teams believe me been there done that

[cosmically-alive]

i ask this universe to grieve with me for a second

here's to all the souls, human and otherwise, who have left us behind without knowing just how much they've contributed to this world.

i may not know all of your stories with the detail i know of laika's story, or feel you all etched within my heart in the same way that i feel those i've personally loved and lost. despite that, i grieve you all; despite that, i am grateful because we are connected through the very existence of being human.

maybe the purse you left behind ended up in the thrift shop i found it in. maybe you were the one who showed my teacher the poem she taught us that is to this day my favorite poem. maybe we crossed each other on the street while i was having a bad day and you smiled at me and that made my day a little better. maybe you were my friend's street cat that i got to play with and made me want a cat. i have my own kitty now and his name is rover, he's certainly more skiddish than you and i love him very much.

maybe, just maybe, you've contributed to this world more than you think

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[support-mohammed-family]

My name is Mohammad Alkhaldi, a young man from Gaza. I was just days away from fulfilling my lifelong dream of getting married and starting a family. After years of waiting and planning every detail of this joyful day, only three days remained until my wedding. Everything was ready—the home, the celebration plans, and all those joyful moments filled with hope.

But my happiness was left incomplete. On what should have been my wedding day, I was injured amidst the turmoil around me. Instead of celebrating with family and loved ones, I found myself facing pain and loss. In a single moment, all the dreams I held so close faded away

Living in a small tent that doesn’t fit my family is a daily challenge beyond description. We’re gathered within four walls of fabric that barely protect us from the summer heat or the winter cold, yet we have to share this tiny space for all our basic needs. When night falls, sleeping becomes another struggle as we try to find room for everyone. Privacy is nonexistent, and even the simplest things become difficult. Despite it all, the hope for a better tomorrow is what keeps us going amidst these tough conditions

I still believe there is goodness in the world and that the days ahead may carry new hope for me and for everyone facing hardship. Your support and kindness can help me get through this and bring back a piece of my lost dreams

���️ Vetting Done ✅️

Our team at #GazaVetters has rigorously vetted and approved this campaign, earning it a spot on our official list at #57 .

AND Our team at #paliLiberation has rigorously vetted and approved this campaign and will be listed as Family#197 on our linktree

Donation Link :

[chuwenjie]

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!

Text version of this post under the cut:

Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.

There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.

Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.

The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.

There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.

I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.

If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.

I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.

Here come the thanks:

To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.

I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.

Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.

I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.

And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.

Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!

[d0youc0py]

So, i've read through a lot of your stuff, and its giving me instant serotonin, and i already love your writing, I also have a rather interesting ask, and you can completely ignore it if you wish to, but!- TF141 + Alejandro and Rudy learning that the new addition to their team is a bit younger than them(around 17-19), and a bouncy ball of ditzy airheaded-ness, and actually sees a them as Brother/Father figures? A little bit of a comfort for those, and myself included, who have platonic attachments to these badass men!

Your relationship with Price comes the most natural. He has always had an overwhelming desire to nurture and mentor those who are close to him- or those that he believes could become close to him. Considering he recruited you, he definitely saw you as one of those lucky few. You are a bit of a mess, needing some serious fine tuning, but you have an obvious want to learn and you soak up every bit of information he shares with you. He sees a lot of himself in you. He was only 16 when he joined the military and he wished he had a mentor to guide him and teach him so he didn’t have to learn from his mistakes, (not that he would’ve listened).

He was also the gateway to getting the other TF members to trust you- especially Ghost.

There is a lot of uncertainty in your job, but one thing you can always count on is that Caps got your back. You need a place to crash on deployment? He has a guest room. You need life advice? He feels like he hasn’t done anything right- but he’s been through enough things to know a thing or two. You had a nightmare? He office door is always open.

He’s a bit over meeting new people. And he lets you know that. For a long time he saw you as a reckless pain in the butt- a risk. You were a powerhouse on the field, yet you lacked that certain refinement. It wasn’t till he saw you and Price during a training. The Captain had your full attention and he saw an eagerness to learn that he hadn’t seen for a long time. He decided to give you a shot, throwing out tidbits of wisdom to see how you would respond. It would always surprise him when you not only listened but implemented what he had told you.

It was like a switch had flipped in his brain and he became the older brother that he had always so desperately tried to push down. He knows all your little quirks. What gets you fired up. What calms you down. He’s incredibly observant and it feels like he knows what you need before you do.

“Keep sleeping, I’ll cover your watch.”

“If you forget your MRE one more time.” He huffed taking out the said MRE you forgot out of his bag.

He’s the definition of tough love. His toughness keeps you grounded and on track. His loving side makes sure you are always taken care of (even though he wants to strangle you daily) and the first time you introduce him as “your brother” he nearly had to excuse himself to dry his eyes.

You’d think that the two of you would be partners in crime. Running around, causing trouble, giving everyone a headache. While the two of you do have your moments, Soap understands his responsibility as not only the elder, but the ranking officer in your relationship. Outside of the work the two of you are as thick as thieves, but out on the field it a whole different story. He’s serious, taking his self appointed job as your mentor to heart. This is the first time he’s taken someone under his wing and he is not going to screw it up. He teaches you as much as he can, as much as you need to not only be safe but successful.

The change is a shock to the TF at first, but they admire the way Soap “ages up” and it inspires them to do the same.

He doesn’t treat himself of your “mentor” or “elder” he treat you as though you two are equals. He treats you with respect and never talks down to you and he makes sure everyone else does the same.

The two of you hit it off instantly. Snarky comments are constantly flying back and forth between the comms and despite their better judgment the rest of the TF can just fight back a chuckle. He teases you relentlessly (out of love). All you have to do is make one slip up and this man will never let you forget it. But he also makes sure that if he can dish it out, he can take it too. This results in the two of you laughing hysterically, doing your best impersonations of each other. After long missions the two of you can often be found on the couch fighting over a blanket, watching your favorite comfort movies. You really are the sibling he never knew he needed.

Like Price he sees a lot of himself in you. You have drive. You do have a tendency to be a little too aloof for your own good, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. He embraced you with open arms and makes you feel like you’ve been family for decades. He’s hard on you and demanding, but it’s just because he knows what you are capable of. He understands the trust you place in him and will do everything in his power to live up to the image you have of him in your head.

You have a permanent room in his house. He always makes sure to have the ingredients to your favorite dish on hand just in case you had a hard day. He makes sure all of your trainings are up to date so you have every opportunity to make it out alive. You are so important to him and he never lets you forget it.

He’s wary of you at first. Even after Alejandro welcomed you with open arms. He saw you as a flight risk and he didn’t want to end up dead because of it. It wasn’t until one night you confessed how much you looked up to him- how you wanted to be like him.

He had misjudged you, and he apologized for it. He made up for lost time by going out of his way to be extra kind to you until it just turned into a habit. You and Alejandro both wear him out, he wouldn’t trade either of you for the world. He’s the voice of reason when you get ahead of yourself and he’s always the one who slows down and explains things to you when you find yourself lost. His patience seems almost endless and you thank his everyday for it.

Thank you for your kind words! Hope you liked this.

[vroom--vrooming]

Fernando Alonso x driver!Reader

Platonic. Mentor-mentee. Reader drives for McLaren

Your journey to Formula 1 was nothing short of a dream. As a kid, you had posters of Fernando Alonso on your wall, watched his every race, studied his every move. He was your hero, the driver who could make even the toughest battles on track look like art. Years later, that same hero had become your mentor, guiding you through the ups and downs of your journey in F2 and beyond.

You remember when he first noticed you, back in your F2 days. You’d just finished a race, pulling a stunning overtake in the last lap to clinch a podium. As you climbed out of your car, sweaty and exhausted, someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned, and there he was—Fernando Alonso, congratulating you with that knowing smile. “You remind me of myself,” he’d said, and from that moment on, everything changed.

Fernando took you under his wing, giving you tips, advice, and encouragement. He was tough, but he was always fair. “Learn to protect your tires,” he’d tell you, “and don’t give up an inch if you don’t have to.” With him guiding you, you pushed harder, improved faster. Even after you made it to Formula 1, with McLaren, he was always there, just a message or a call away, ready to offer advice before every race.

Everyone knew Fernando was your mentor, and he made it clear he was proud of you. In interviews, he’d praise your progress, your determination, and whenever you crossed paths in the paddock, he’d make sure to check in. His support meant the world to you, and it kept you grounded, knowing that the man you’d looked up to all these years believed in you.

Now, driving for McLaren with Lando Norris as your teammate, you’d had an incredible season so far, and the dream of your first win felt so close. But last race, that dream had been shattered. You were leading, just a few laps away from victory, when the radio crackled with a team order that sent a chill through you.

“Let Lando through,” they’d said. “It’s for the championship.”

Your heart had sunk. You were faster, you knew it, but McLaren wanted you to move aside, to help Lando secure points. You didn’t argue, though every fiber of you had wanted to fight. Following the order, you watched as Lando overtook, stealing away the win that should have been yours.

After the race, the frustration boiled inside you. All the hard work, the sacrifices—it felt like it had been taken away in an instant. Away from the cameras, you found a quiet corner in the paddock, trying to calm yourself, but nothing helped.

That’s when you saw Fernando. He approached quietly, and from the look on his face, you knew he understood exactly how you felt. “It’s hard, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice calm. “Letting go of something that should have been yours.”

You nodded, struggling to keep your emotions in check. “It just feels… unfair. I had the win, Fernando. I could have done it.”

He placed a hand on your shoulder, his gaze steady and reassuring. “I know. And so do you. Listen, this is part of racing. Sometimes, teams will make decisions that go against everything we feel. But here’s what I want you to remember.” His voice softened, but there was a strength in his words. “Next time, don’t let anyone hold you back. Do what you do best. Race, as fast as you can. If Lando can’t beat you on his own, then he’s not ready to be champion yet.”

You felt a spark of determination reignite inside you, the frustration giving way to a quiet resolve. Fernando’s words had always had a way of grounding you, of reminding you why you loved this sport in the first place. His confidence in you was something you couldn’t shake.

With renewed focus, you entered the next race with one thing on your mind: to race without holding back. From the start, you pushed your McLaren to its limits, the car responding beautifully as you took each corner, each straight with the precision Fernando had drilled into you over the years. Every lap, you felt stronger, more in control, the distance between you and the others growing.

Then, the team radio came alive. “We need you to let Lando pass.”

This time, you didn’t hesitate. “If he’s fast enough,” you replied, your voice steady, “he can try to catch me.”

The minutes ticked by, and Lando tried—he pushed hard, but he couldn’t close the gap. You held your line, focused on nothing but the track ahead, feeling that familiar rush of adrenaline and pride with every lap. You were racing for yourself, for the win you deserved, and nothing was going to stop you this time.

The checkered flag waved, and you crossed the line in first place. Your first win in Formula 1. The realization hit you all at once, an overwhelming mix of joy, relief, and disbelief. You’d done it. You’d won.

As you climbed out of the car, the cheers from the crowd washed over you, and you felt the weight of every challenge, every sacrifice, lift from your shoulders. The team gathered around, clapping and congratulating you, but one face stood out in the crowd—Fernando.

He made his way over, his smile wide, his eyes filled with pride. Without a word, he pulled you into a hug, and for a moment, the noise and excitement faded away.

“I knew you could do it,” he said quietly, his voice warm and full of pride. “This win was all yours.”

You smiled up at him, feeling a warmth spread through you that had nothing to do with the victory celebration. “Thank you, Fernando. For everything.”

He nodded, his hand still on your shoulder. “This is just the beginning. Keep racing like that, and no one will be able to stop you.”

As you stood there beside the man who’d guided you every step of the way, you knew he was right. This was only the start of what you could achieve.

[sayafics]

Just For A Moment - Part 1

Jay Halstead x OC/reader

This is my first time trying to write something angsty, so please be kind! I've seen quite a few fics where the partner always gets seen when they see their SO cheating, and its always teary denials and breakups, I wanted to put a spin on it and go down the line of "she knows, but she doesn't tell anyone" and the OC kind of just thinks of them as broken up and strangers without telling their SO that.

My plan with this storyline is that everyone kind of sides with Jay because no one really knows why she's being so cold with him, and it just carries on building until it reaches the breaking point. The question is, who'll break first?

Please let me know if you enjoyed this!

TW: cheating, (slightly?) angsty

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Masterlist

Voight had extended an offer for Aurora Gallo to join his Intelligence department a few days after Erin had left, Erin's departure left a gaping hole in the team and Voight was hopeful that Aurora would be the one to mend it.

Aurora was the daughter of an old friend of Hank's. She'd spent a few short years working her way through different organisations such as the CIA and FBI as an undercover operative.

But she needed a break. She was slowly losing herself in the multiple lives she had lived, and she needed a change.

Aurora hadn't expected the offer from Voight, but she was grateful all the same.

She moved to Chicago shortly after his offer, joining the Intelligence office and being partnered with him.

Jay Halstead.

Jay was an enigma - one she couldn't get enough of.

She had heard the rumours, of course. Of how Jay had been in love with Erin before she left.

And she had been the one to replace Erin, in both the team, and now in Jay's life.

It was hard not to draw comparisons. The whispers of the department always found their way to her, and, sometimes, when she looked into Jay's eyes, she always thought she could see him longing for more.

But she told herself not to worry, that Jay cared for her, that Jay chose her.

Not Erin, and definitely not anyone else.

That's what she continued to tell herself. Even after Hailey joined the team, even after Hailey found ways to get close to Jay when she wasn't his partner.

Soon, the small habits that Jay carried out for Aurora, he would carry out for Hailey too.

Checking up on her after a tough case, bringing her coffee in the mornings, dropping her off home after a late day at work, and picking her up bright and early in the morning. All of it, once done just for Aurora, were now moments and memories she shared with Hailey.

And just like that, those actions lost their meaning. But Aurora learnt to hide her hurt, instead choosing to ignore her heart and listen to Jay.

They were just friends.

That was what Jay had said the first time she expressed her concerns over their relationship, and she believed it. That everything Jay did for Hailey was out of the goodness of his heart because he was just so good.

So, on the night of their six month anniversary, when Aurora had dolled herself up and grabbed the cake, she had spent the whole day baking, on her way out of her apartment, she had left with a heart full of love and excitement.

The team had the day off today, and she had spent most of her morning at Jay's house before drumming up an excuse to go back to her apartment so she could finish her preparations.

Aurora held no sadness in her heart at the idea Jay might have forgotten their six month anniversary, after all such a thing wasn't significant to everyone.

But it was special to her, and she wanted to celebrate it with Jay - surprise him even.

Before leaving his place, she had asked Jay if he had plans, and he denied saying his only plan was to drink beer and watch the game. The revelation had calmed her nerves as she promised to text him later if she was free, knowing that she wouldn't because she wanted to surprise him instead.

And that was why she now stood in front of Jay's apartment, a small box with the cake she had baked and decorated that afternoon laid by her feet as she rummaged for the spare key Jay had given her for emergencies.

This seemed like the biggest emergency of all. If she stayed outside any longer, the frosting on her cake would melt off. And no one likes melted frosting.

As she quietly opened the door, she prayed silently that Jay had fallen asleep on the couch as she bent over to pick up her cake before walking through the door. As she closed the door behind her, her heart had calmed at the silence that rang through the apartment, hopeful that Jay truly had fallen asleep so she could set up the kitchen table before waking him.

She had taken two steps towards the kitchen before her eyes landed on the couch, and through the dim lights of a table lamp, she could make out that it was empty. She frowned slightly, hoping Jay wasn't asleep in bed - he rarely slept well, and the idea of waking him from a deep sleep rather than a nap would have just made her feel guilty.

If he had, she would just have to surprise him in the morning, and the thought brought a timid smile onto her face.

She continued her walk towards the kitchen, her steps quiet but hurried as the skirt of her deep blue dress billows around her thighs. She sets the cake on the kitchen counter, hands ready to lift up the lid to see the damage her journey here had done to the cake before she heard it.

Aurora felt her heart sink, pressure building in her sternum as the sound she heard repeated over and over again, not only in her head but in the apartment.

It sounded like... a woman?

She felt her breath stutter, the quiet moans she heard building in volume as she slipped her heels off and treaded cautiously towards the room she knew to be Jay's. After all, she and Jay had been in there many times.

As she got closer towards the room, her hands trembled as she stumbled, her feet catching on clothes thrown astray. The sight caused her to hesitate, frozen in a stupor as she looked at the articles of clothing which littered the floor.

Shoes, trousers, shirts. Women's clothes.

Aurora screwed up her eyes harshly, her breaths coming out in ragged pants as she tried to control herself, trying to convince herself that she was wrong. That Jay couldn't do anything wrong. He cares about her. He loves her. He said so himself. Her Jay wouldn't do something like this.

She opened her eyes, determination painted her gaze as she continued her path to Jay's room. His door was cracked open, and she held her breath as she peaked through.

Aurora's heart fell to the ground - shattered and broken. She had hoped, and she had prayed that the grunts and pleas - sounds she was so familiar with - were just a trick her paranoia was playing on her.

But looking into Jay's room, there was no denying it.

There sat her boyfriend, on the bed they had made love in, fucking another woman. Jay was leaning against the headboard, his head thrown back in pleasure as his hand gripped the waist of the blonde woman perched on his lap, his knuckles blanched as he ground her hips against his, the motion causing a moan of pleasure to wrench itself from her throat, his name on her lips as she spoke - "fuck, Jay, I'm so close."

The blood had drained from Aurora's face, she knows that voice.

"I know, baby. I'm close, too. God, Hail you feel so good."

Baby?

Tears began to well in Aurora's eyes. Jay calls her baby, and now he's called her too?

This wasn't some one night stand or some mistake. No, Jay cares about Hailey, so much so that he is willing to betray Aurora to have her.

Aurora's throat ached as she held back her sobs, her heart burning in agony as she stepped back quietly from the door. She made her way back to her things and hastily grabbed her box of cake and shoes as she scrambled away from Jay's apartment, running away from the her own nightmare.

She made it to her car, hands shaking as she shut herself in and sobs poured out from her.

Aurora had no one to go to. She didn't know the team as well as Jay, and she hadn't been around Chicago enough to make close friends. Her previous career and her lifestyle made it hard to make friends, much less keep them.

And now, when she needed someone the most, she had no one.

And she had lost the one person she thought she could always go to.

Aurora's eyes were filled with tears, and her heart filled with pain as she drove home. Her hands were shaky on the steering wheel, and she relied on muscle memory to bring her back to the place she felt the most safe in.

The place she had allowed Jay in, the place she was the most vulnerable in. And he ruined it. He ruined her.

Without warning, anger began to bubble in her chest. Anger towards herself for being so naive to believe Jay when he said they were just friends, anger towards Jay for lying to her, for betraying her, anger towards Hailey for being a friend to her only to betray her too.

The anger that built up in her on the drive home festered throughout the night. As Aurora lay in bed, struggling to quieten her mind enough to get some sleep, her eyes burning from all the tears she shed and her throat raw from her screams and cries, she felt her anger morph into dread.

Tomorrow, she would see the man that betrayed her, and the woman she called a friend.

On her nightstand, her phone continued to light up the ceiling as notifications popped up. But Halstead's texts went unanswered.

***

The next morning, Aurora had awoken from a restless sleep, and she instinctively reached for her phone, a ghost of a smile on her face as she looked for the sweet 'good morning' messages her Jay would send her every morning.

Hey baby, you okay? You didn't come back over yesterday.

Aurora felt her smile falter - the most recent text Halstead sent caused the memories of last night to flash past her eyes. The remembrance of his lies and his betrayal once more brings tears to her eyes as they fall, leaving hot trails in their tracks.

Her eyes then fall to a text from Voight - Case. Meet at 9.

It was currently 7:30am, which gave her plenty of time to pull herself together and push away the dread of having to see the two people she trusted most after their betrayal.

She pushed herself out of bed, shuffling towards the bathroom - dear God, she looked a mess. The makeup from last night still painted her face, but her mascara and eyeliner were now smudged and drawn down her cheeks in smeared streaks, and through the smudged-off makeup, the faint lines of the scars she hid could be seen.

And her eyes, they looked sad.

And that realisation made fury bite at her, she looked so pathetic.

God, it was her fault. To let him in so easily, after all she had been through and all she had learnt about men. She had still gone and trusted one with her heart.

Aurora had come across all kinds of men and stood against them undefeated - those who beat their wives and children, those who hurt and raped the innocent, those who killed without fear of consequences and those who tortured with hearts full of glee.

And yet, it was Jay Halstead who broke her. All because she let him in, let him get too close.

Determination set in her gaze once more. She wouldn't let Halstead be the end of her. No, she was stronger than that, better than that.

With that thought in mind, Aurora got ready to face the man she once called her boyfriend and the love of her life.

***

When Aurora stepped into the district, it was obvious to Sargent Platt that something was different.

She looked the same - her hair pinned up in the same sleek ponytail, dressed in the same long sleeve jumper and cargos. But her face was void of emotions, and her eyes looked like they were drowning in them.

Sargent Platt liked Aurora. She was a good kid, and despite all the years she spent around violence and horror in her years undercover, she had managed to keep a pure heart and a joyful soul.

It seemed now that both of those things had been drained out of her.

"Hey, kid. Come here a sec."

"Sorry, Sargent, got a case," Aurora nodded stiffly in Trudy's direction before walking up the steps to the intelligence office.

Sargent?

Aurora has called her boss, even Platt. When she tried to push her friendship with her, Aurora would even call her Trudy, sometimes, in a teasing manner. But she had never been so formal, so devoid of emotion.

Trudy felt worried for the girl, her mind running countless scenarios as she wondered what had made her lose her light in such a short amount of time.

***

When Aurora had made her way up the stairs, the office was already buzzing, her team talking and walking around in circles as they discussed the case on hand - a twelve year old boy had been kidnapped, this was the third case over the last ten days and the other victims had been found dead. Homicide had turned up empty in their investigation, and given how close the last case was to their district, Voight offered to take it off their hands, to which they gladly agreed.

She looked over her colleagues, scanning the room for the one person she was unsure of if she would want to see. But it seems his eyes found her first.

"Babe, there you are," Jay's voice sounded exasperated as he leapt up from his seat at his desk, and just like always, Hailey was hovering over his shoulder.

Usually, the action would cause her to feel slightly annoyed, the feeling being quelled when Jay would hold her hand or kiss her cheek or just say her name.

Now, the sight brought a burst of emotions, all of which she fought down and locked away to face at another time when she was alone and it was safe to be vulnerable.

Halstead made his way to her, his hands cupping her cheeks as he looked at her in concern, "baby, you didn't answer my texts, I was so worried."

Aurora shrugged lightly, her face still blank as she found she had no energy to even fake a smile to him, "I was tired."

No apology, no placation. Because he didn't deserve that.

It seemed that Jay had noticed her lack of reason and apology, too, the concern in his eyes growing as Aurora pushed his hands down gently - "we have a case to work."

She pushed past him and walked to her desk, ignoring the 'hey, Aurora' Hailey had thrown her way, grateful when Voight had chosen that exact moment to step out of his office and brief them.

Unbeknownst to her, Jay continued to eye her in worry. He had already been struggling to fight off the guilt he felt when he stepped out on Aurora and slept with Hailey, but to see her so drawn away and isolated only made that grow. Paranoia ate at his heart, but he knew there could be no way she caught them.

Voight had given them the basics of Aurora's past career as an undercover agent, and Jay knew that if she had caught him and Hailey, they would be working on their murder case right now instead.

What do we think? Do we want a part 2?👀

[ummick]

Mick’s Diary: 2024 Plans, Final Races of the Season & More

Time for one final check-in of the 2023 Formula One season. Here’s the last chapter of Mick’s Diary for this year. Catching up with our Reserve Driver, Mick Schumacher, to hear all about the final races of the season, what he made of Las Vegas and his plans for the winter. We also hear from him on his 2024 plans now that they’ve been officially announced. Hi everyone. It’s been a busy couple of weeks, so there’s plenty to update you on for my last diary of the 2023 season. It’s been a very long season for everybody, and we’re going to have a longer one next year. Everyone is bracing themselves for it. On the other hand, it’s good to know we’ve completed the year with a successful learning path and securing P2 in the Constructors’ Championship. I’ve also learned a lot over the season and my knowledge base. Every time I went in the car I felt like I did take steps forward. Obviously the simulator work helped with the development of the W14, so I’m excited to see what next year holds. All of the races at the end of the year have been flyaways, so I’ve not been on the race support like I am for the Europeans. It’s a very different approach to the weekend, as for flyaways I am there from Thursday onwards so I am much more involved on the ground, but for most of the Europeans I’m in the simulator and only get to the track on Saturday. But both have their charm and have their individual way of learning and taking what’s important from the weekend. We’ve finished the season with an intense run of races. You can never really combat all the travel and the time zones; you just have to survive it, really. Probably one of the most difficult parts of F1 is switching time zones. Vegas was a tough cookie. I unfortunately got sick when I arrived there and I didn’t really recover until the end of the weekend. Luckily everything’s all good, but from what I saw of Vegas the schedule was quite tough, but there were lots of positives and I’d never been to Vegas before, so it was an interesting experience. As a team, we win and lose together and when things are difficult you definitely feel that. All I want to do is help the team to success and we all worked very hard to try and get the car back up to speed. Especially now with the W15 already in the works, we all are 100% focused on trying to have a successful 2024. It’s a great opportunity to stay with the team for next year as the Reserve Driver and keep on learning, keep building on what we’ve achieved this year. I think we’re all very keen to get started and on track with the W15, so it will be very nice to be part of that process. I can also continue to build on all the relationships with the team. It’s been good to spend so much time with everyone and get to know, also, the people who have been here when my dad was. It’s a very special team and a very special bond that they have. I’m also really excited to be back racing in the World Endurance Championship with Alpine. I’m a racer, I always was a racer, so I’ll be racing next year and that’s what I do best. Not racing this year was tough, so I’m just really looking forward to being on the road and fighting. In between we have a bit of a break, so I’ll be recharging my batteries; get ready for racing next year and try to build on what we’ve done in 2023. I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who’s read these diary entries through the year, but most importantly thanks to all the fans for sticking with me. It’s been a tough year and we never give up. We always try to give our best. Thank you for being there every step of the way, and I’m excited for what next year holds. Believe me, I’m still working hard on also the step to hopefully being back in F1.

[platoniclokiimagines]

Imagine Loki taking on an orphan as their apprentice, taking the role of surrogate parent as well as teacher to a rambunctious preteen with the capacity for magic.

TW: None

Rating: G

WC: 2580

A/N: Hi, there! Long time no see, I know. Apparently, I’ve been hoarding finished prompts for a bit and haven’t been posting them, so I’m gonna post what I have before writing anything new for now. I have (minus this prompt) nine asks in my inbox, and I think two or three of those have been written and not posted, but once I get through what’s already done, I’ll probably be considering opening requests again, just to get some variety mixed in. As for this fic, I hope it was worth the wait. I played around a lot with how to do this, and this felt the most... chaotic and therefore in character. Enjoy!

“Loki, you can’t just take a kid you found outside.”

“Why not? That’s what Odin did with me.”

“Loki.”

“Damn, Reindeer Games, can’t argue with that logic.”

“Stark, do you really want to talk about shit dads right now?”

“No, there’s not enough alcohol in this kitchen.”

“Alright, alright,” Steve finally cut in, and everyone that had been arguing looked over at him as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Never mind any of that, do we really think it’s safe for a kid to be here at the Compound. I mean… We’re not exactly a daycare center here.”

“Well, the way I see it,” Loki began, glancing over to where you were sitting with a juice box and pretending not to listen to what they were saying. “You lot don’t let me go on missions all that often anyway, and if I can’t do anything like that to prove I’m an asset to the team, then maybe if I take care of the kid, you’ll believe me.”

“Are you… asking us to let you be a parent?” Tony deadpanned, and Natasha elbowed him in the side, despite biting back a small smirk.

“Well, if that’s what you want to call it, sure. Besides, was I supposed to just leave the unsupervised six year old where I found them?”

“I mean, there are people for that,” Steve said with a half-hearted shrug, but Loki only shook their head in response.

“Well, I found the kid first, so they’re mine.”

“Norns, Loki, you can’t just call dibs on a human being.”

“I just did. No taking it back, either. Tough.”

“Have we considered maybe asking the kid… well, anything, before we do anything further?” Bruce suggested, ever the voice of reason.

“What, you think I just picked the kid up without saying anything? Thank you, Bruce, truly wonderful to see how much you trust me.”

Several of the Avengers began to argue at that particular quip, but all of them fell silent as you finally piped up for the first time since Loki had sat you down in front of the tv to be distracted.

“I wanna stay.”

As if on cue, every single person turned to look at you, and you sipped your juice box as if you hadn’t dropped what seemed to be the most controversial thing anyone had said all evening.

“I wanna stay,” you repeated, politely sitting your juice box down. You got out of the armchair and made your way over to where all of the adults were standing, clasping your hands together in front of you.

If living on the streets at a young age had taught you anything, it was how to be cute, how to tug at heartstrings, and how to get what you wanted. By whatever means necessary.

“I don’t really have anyone,” you admitted, shrugging a shoulder. “My parents died when I was younger, so… You know. No guardians. And, uh… I’m not six, I’m ten.”

“Close enough,” Tony argued, and was quickly silenced by Natasha’s elbow in his ribs yet again.

“And I’ve been on the streets long enough to know that it’s not safe for anyone. Let alone a kid,” you continued. “So no offense to anyone in this room, but… I wanna stay here. I think it’s nice. And if Mr. Loki wants to take care of me, then that’s okay with me.”

“Ah, see? I even have the kid’s blessing. I… What was your name again?”

“Y/N. I’m Y/N.”

“Y/N.” Loki seemed to soften as they considered you, and when they smiled warmly, you couldn’t help but to return the gesture. You hadn’t felt this comfortable around anyone in quite some time. “Well, Y/N, I’ve never really… taken care of a kid before, but, ah… There’s a first time for everything, and… Well, I’m sure this will end up more of a joint effort than anything, but if you need anything at all, and I mean anything, you come to me, alright?”

You nodded, and then looked around at each of the other Avengers standing in a semi-circle in front of you. “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. And… And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just go back out. You know, on the streets. I know my way around.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. And if anyone in this room has any objections to this arrangement, well…” Loki looked around at the others, with an expression you couldn’t quite make out, before continuing in a lighthearted tone. “I suppose I’ll just have to kill them.”

“Yeah, so not helping your case, Reindeer Games.”

“Brother, you wouldn’t.”

“Oh, they probably would.”

While all the others began talking over each other in various states of both belief and disbelief, you could only laugh, because it seemed such a silly idea, for someone to be killed because of you. And before you could even really think any more on the matter, Loki had crossed over to where you were and held out a hand.

“Come. Let’s find you a room.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Settling in at the Compound came rather quickly. Well, the beginnings of settling came rather quickly. Loki helped you pick out a room, close to theirs so they could keep an eye on you, but with the promise of privacy whenever you wanted or needed it, and the other Avengers were all very welcoming, each in their own way.

But it was the better part of a year before you began to feel like you truly belonged there.

Fitting in came easily, all things considered. All things, of course, being the fact that you were a ten year old kid in the midst of the stuff of legends and superheroes, but none of them ever treated you like a baby, and what Loki had suspicioned would be the case came to fruition just as they imagined; everyone ended up co-parenting you to varying degrees, and while it was nice to have so many people look over you, you were just glad to finally feel like you were a part of a family again.

Your friendship with Loki, however… Well, they were simultaneously the most and least parent-like figure you’d ever had in your life. They were the one you went to when you had questions or needed help understanding words or phrases you hadn’t heard yet, and they checked in on you at night to make sure that you were comfortable and feeling alright. They were even the one to soothe you when you woke up in the night with bad dreams or worries that you couldn’t seem to set aside long enough to fall asleep.

But on the other hand, they taught you everything they knew. And everything they knew included a plethora of ways to make mischief and cause trouble without ever being caught. A skill that was just as fun as it was dangerous, you’d come to find out. Loki had an affinity for pranks that endangered but didn’t injure, and the other Avengers tended to be on the receiving end of said pranks. Which, of course, meant that getting caught could get the both of you in very serious trouble.

But Loki seemed to have a way of talking their way out of things, and that was a skill you had grown familiar with in your time on the streets, and with Loki’s help, you honed it into something they insisted was “truly masterful.”

You didn’t, however, always get away scot-free. While Loki had had dozens upon dozens of years to practice pranking and trickery, you were still learning. And that meant sometimes you got caught.

Which is exactly why you’d been sent to your room by Steve, who had simply not appreciated you turning everything in the cupboards upside down. A harmless prank, in your opinion, but Steve had thought otherwise, and rather than yell at you or talk down at you for it, like you might have expected from one of the others if you’d caught them in a bad mood, his way of punishment was much more tame. More suited for a pre-teen whose bane of existence was being sent to their room.

It was infuriating, in a way that something like that could only infuriate someone your age, and you were more than a little grumpy about the circumstances as you slouched on your bed, glaring a hole into the ceiling as you propped your legs up against the wall.

You didn’t realize Loki had come in until you felt the bed shift under their weight.

“Rogers told me what happened.” Their tone was even, and you couldn’t tell if they were about to congratulate you on an almost-perfectly executed prank, or advise you on how to better get away with it.

You shrugged a shoulder, and said nothing.

Loki seemed to consider this for a moment, and you could feel their gaze lingering on you.

“Do you want to tell me why you pranked him?”

You breathed out a sharp laugh. “You prank people all the time for no reason.”

“You’re right, I do. I was just wondering if you had one.”

“Does it matter if I did?” You couldn’t stop your tone from becoming defense, and you weren’t entirely sure why. Loki wasn’t saying anything that was upsetting you, exactly, but lately you’d been having a bunch of weird feelings. Like something was a little bit off with you and you weren’t sure how to handle it so your default setting had become to act standoffish and huffy. Normal for your age, you’d heard the others discussing the other night when you’d snuck out of your room after bed to listen in on them, but that didn’t make you feel any better. If anything, you felt like something was coming to a head, but you didn’t know what.

And that made you scared.

“Y/N, I just want to know what’s going on with you. I’ve noticed you’re starting to become a little more… closed off. Distant. Not like yourself.”

You rolled your eyes despite yourself. “And how do you know when I am or am not myself?”

“Well, I’ve spent the last year raising you, so-”

“Everyone in the Compound has spent the last year raising me.”

“Well, yes, but not to the degree I have. It isn’t the same.”

“What does it matter?”

“…I beg your pardon?” Loki’s hesitant response made you realize they were taken aback by your snippy response, and for some reason, that made you both angry and upset.

“What does it matter if you raised me more than they did? I still don’t…”

You didn’t finish the sentence. You didn’t need to.

You heard Loki exhale a long, slow breath before speaking. “What is all of this really about, Y/N?”

“…I don’t know. Everything feels all… weird and difficult.” You glanced at them for only a second, and then returned your gaze to the ceiling. “Have you ever felt like… no matter what you do, nothing is… right? Good enough, correct, whatever.”

“I have. Probably more than anyone else in this Compound has.” Loki’s tone was still even, but you could hear the heavy edge to their voice that assured you they were telling the truth. “Is that why you’re… acting out?”

It was an innocent enough phrase, and really it was exactly what you were doing. But for some reason, Loki using the term felt like betrayal in a way that you just didn’t have the skills to explain, and so you bristled.

“Ugh, why does everyone have to say that? I’m not a kid that doesn’t know how to act.” You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest, that familiar feeling of tension and anger and heat swelling into a ball in your chest.

“No one’s saying that you are, Y/N, I just worry that you’re-”

“That I’m what? Too much to handle? A brat? It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been called literally anything like that, or worse.” You didn’t mean to raise your voice, but you were tired and angry and hurt and confused and so many other emotions at once and you didn’t know what to do with the way it felt sitting in your chest like it was.

“Y/N…” Loki’s voice had taken on a warning quality, but all it did was upset you even more.

“No. No. I’m allowed to be upset. I’m allowed to be upset a-and… and hurt and have emotions and feelings. I’m allowed to be mad!” You accentuated the word by slamming your hands down on either side of you.

What you didn’t expect, however, was for a burst of energy to expel from you, sending a ripple through the room that knocked books over and blew papers around the room as the overhead lights flickered before strengthening back to their normal power.

You froze. Unable to process what had just happened, but already worrying about what Loki was going to say to you.

When the silence became too much to bear, you turned your head just enough so that you could look back at Loki, and you were surprised to see them looking at you with an expression of complete understanding.

“You didn’t tell me you had powers.”

Well, that wasn’t the response you had been expecting at all.

Though now that Loki mentioned it, you supposed that would have been the obvious explanation for whatever you had just made happen.

“…I didn’t know…” you finally murmured when you could manage to get yourself to talk.

“No, I suspect you wouldn’t have. If magic isn’t learned, it can remain dormant until the right amount of emotions sort of… sets it free.”

You considered that, pushing yourself to sit up and scooting yourself around so that you were facing Loki. “Is that.. why I’ve been feeling so… weird inside?”

Loki made a face. “Weird how?”

You shrugged a shoulder. “Iunno. Just… weird. I’ve had lots of emotions lately, and they’ve all kind of felt like they’ve been building and building and building, and now that I just did… whatever I just did, it doesn’t feel so…”

“Hard?”

You nodded slowly as you met their gaze. “Yeah.”

Loki nodded along with you, and was silent for a moment while they looked at you until they eventually cleared their throat. “Well. I suppose next is the matter of your training. And letting the others know, of course, that way there’s not any accidents are anything of the like.”

“Training?”

Loki looked at you, with a smile that you couldn’t help but to return. “Of course training. You didn’t think I was going to make you figure everything out on your own, did you?”

You relaxed, and let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding in. Before you could stop yourself, you had launched yourself into Loki’s arms, hugging them so tightly that you could feel them stiffen for a moment before returning the gesture.

“…I’m really glad I have you to help me. I didn’t mean what I said earlier. You’re more of a parent than I’ve ever had in as long as I can remember. And I’m sorry for being mean.”

Loki chuckled softly, patting your back gently. “It’s no matter. You wouldn’t be my kid if you weren’t just as moody as I am, yes?”

All you could do was laugh, grateful to have a place where maybe, just maybe, you did belong, after all.

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton is interviewed after the race, japan - september 24, 2023 (transcription under the cut)

Lewis: "I'm exhausted, for one, fighting with absolutely everything I have to get as high up as possible and get ahead of Ferrari, which had an upgrade this week, so they're particularly quick. But we have been quick the last three races, or quicker the last three races. It was a hell of a fight and I'm really trying to hold onto… I've scored the most points for the team. I'm really trying to hold on for the constructor's title, 'cause I know how important it is for everyone back at the factories, and so giving it absolutely everything. But it's tough on weekends like this, particularly where the car is such a handful and basically the exact same as last year, so it's… Feeling-wise, the car felt just the same as last year-it's bouncing and sliding-so that's tough, given how much work we've done to progress, and we're not any closer to the front, at least here. But we did get ahead of one of the Ferraris, which is great teamwork, and great work from the guys in the pit stop, and through strategy, so… long way to go." Interviewer: "You mentioned yesterday about where you feel the areas of this car could be improved next year, to me, and we're watching Red Bull win the constructor's here again. How much input can you have in next year's car? How much are they listening to you? How much are you saying? How much do you feel that they are taking all that onboard and that you will have something next year, where you can enjoy what Max is enjoying?" Lewis: "There are things that I've asked for that we've gone in part of the direction for next year. I think all the points that George and I give, I think have been fully listened to. I have no idea where the car's gonna be next year, but we're a long, long way away. The next six months has to be the greatest six months of development that we've ever, ever had, to close that gap, to be really banging on the door. But the evidecne is there, out of McLaren, and we can't turn a blind eye to that. We've got to look at what they've done and go in that direction. That is the direction. But I truly believe my team can do it, and we've always been great at putting downforce on the car. It's just that, with the way our car currently works, adding downforce doesn't work. It just makes it bounce more. And so hopefully with the change in philosophy we'll be back to where the team deserve, 'cause this is a world championship team. We still are an amazing team and I have absolute faith in everyone. But decisions that are made in this period of time are critical for our trajectory."

[enchanted-lightning-aes]

Hmm what about a dynamic where A is reckless and rushes into danger trying to save everyone while B always worries about A's safety and is there to catch them when they fall

ahh, here ya go, kly. hope i did this short well enough for ya. no names for the characters, tho. . . 😔

send me a prompt request featuring any character or dynamic + one word?

Word Count: 662 T.W/C.W: mentions of bruises, some crashing buildings, idk what else that slipped by me

***

Sometimes, they wondered where would they be if they didn't dedicate themself to their cause. If they took up a profession, where they didn't have to deal with immense dangers involved. Perhaps, plenty of things would go differently.

However, they wouldn't regret any of it. Sure, they had gotten trapped or kidnapped yet they always made it through. Saw it through no matter how tough their situation could get.

And maybe they could be a little foolish for doing what they do. But hey if they managed to help people. . . their safety was negligent. After all: it proved to be a simple price, which they would pay over and over again.

Back in their apartment, their ally tended to their wounds. Dabbing a wet cloth over wounded spots, cleaning it up as much as she could.

"You know," she said, grabbing a piece of gauze. "We'd have more nights of leisure if you didn't get back bleeding. I thought you'd have learned to lessen it by now."

"If those people didn't insist on stabbing or shooting at me," they replied with a heavy sigh. "I'm sure I wouldn't be stuck with it. But hey, they believe draining blood outta my system is gonna stop me."

She snorted, shaking her head. "I swear, you're just finding an excuse to be a martyr, eh."

"Then why bother sticking around?" they asked, arching a brow. They rubbed a hand over a gauze wrapped around a bruise on their elbow. "I mean if you got a problem with it, you can walk out."

They tried making it sound like a joke yet some seriousness slipped out. She lowered her arm, bowing her head. She gulped and set the cloth down onto a table.

Crap, they thought as regret engulfed them. They probably shouldn't have said. . .

When she peered up at them, her lips tilted into a small grin.

"Because I don't have much better to do," she answered dryly with a brief shrug. "Besides. . . who else can I stop from making bad decisions? Don't think I can find anyone else like you."

With a roll of their eyes, they threw a light punch at her upper arm. She burst out cackling

Even if they keep crashing down, a pair of arms were prepared to catch them. Keeping them. . . secured and reassured. That they weren't alone and they had an ally, who would be there for them. Whether they fell apart or get torn at the seams, they knew they wouldn't have to be alone. And damn, they were so lucky to have someone, steadfast and loyal, by their side.

It happened to be pivotal to them especially since they had to get people out of a building. It had been hit by a laser beam and they had to evacuate most of those who had been in it. If they didn't have a team, they wouldn't have done the job at all.

However, they had been slow at escaping themself. But the sound of concrete cracking set them on edge, freezing them on where they stood.

Before it could crumble on them, a whirlwind of a silhouette shoved them to the other side. Rolling along with them.

They tried catching their breath, turning their head at the person beside them. Only for their eyes to widen at their ally, who propped herself up on an elbow.

"You dumbass," she hissed, scowling. Her face crumpled. "You ought to be more careful, you know!"

"Sorry," they murmured, wincing at sharp sensation searing at their sides. "I would. . . I would have. . . but. . . thank you."

"Don't thank me just yet." She scrambled to her feet, dusting her jacket and t-shirt. She stretched a hand out. "C'mon. . . you got a job to finish. After that, you're required to rest. No complaints."

Their lips quirked up at the corners. "Yeah. . . no problem."

As her posture relaxed, she reached for their elbow. Guiding them to where those civilians had been brought to safety.

***

[2x4plank]

Episode Three is dreadful...in a positive way.

The meat of the chapter is the Duck situation. It was incredibly depressing to watch the happy, talkative kid decline despite attempts to restore him. And then Katjaa... I don't know where the idea that she "betrayed" Kenny by ending things came from (outside of what Kenny says in episode four or five). She was back there in the train, holding onto her dying son while he was up there trying not to have to come to terms with it. She was practically battling that ALONE and being tough about it. And I honestly didn't feel completely mad at Kenny for that either. He knew what he would have to do from the beginning and was wracked with guilt (partially selfish) and fear--that combined with his general hot-headed attitude caused him to be idle. But it wasn't for lack of care. So I was mostly mad about it, but not completely. He also is still out of pocket; I began to believe that Kenny was never in pocket. Why do I like this dude! No parent should have to shoot their own child, so of course I was letting Lee step up to the plate--but of course it wasn't easy for him either! Just a short while ago, he was playing detective with that kid, and though Duck was an "annoyance", he was a very lovable one who should've been able to grow up safely.

Now, the Lily situation. For me, it was Lily v. Carley and when I saw it coming, it was already in motion. The timing during this episode was just stellar. When everyone is distracted by the walker, you see what Lily is about to do, but there's nothing you can do about it. It's not like you shouldn't be able to predict what's coming. Lily has been sitting in that motel room stewing with rage at her situation while still being tasked with managing things for the most part. She is never given proper time to grieve an extremely traumatic murder and her slumped down position is not a sign of good things to come. Carley pressed her buttons after Lily pressed hers. Lily was hellbent on figuring out who betrayed them. A particular quote that comes to mind is when you tell her to let it go and she's like, "YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT!"

Now does that mean what she did was right? Oh, absolutely not. It was a senseless murder of an innocent person. Even Lily knows that--you can see it in her expression after the deed is done. Of course I'm going to leave her behind, because despite the comparison Lily tries to draw between Larry and Carley's murder, I firmly believe that Larry's murder was...the best choice. And on the brightside, when I restrained her, blood didn't get on her face! Lily should keep that in mind after we tag-teamed crushing her dad's head: her face was clean!

On a more positive note, I love how Lee teaches Clemenetine how to shoot and cuts her hair. I think that's another thing kind of missing from TLOU--the active practice with Ellie. However, it's not like Ellie doesn't participate in gameplay which is a bonus. And ideally, neither a fourteen-year-old nor eight-year-old would have to use a gun at all. The apocalypse is a bit different though!

And then there's Ben. I won't say he gave it away by how stressed he was when Lily accused him--it's easy to get anxious even when you're not guilty. I was just kind of hoping to forget the whole bandit situation. So that really good moment where you're walking back through the train and all of a sudden he's like, "I did it." And I was first and foremost concerned with him shutting up. At what point, what else is there to do? Just be quiet and live with it so you don't make anything any worse. Write some poetry or something--I don't know! I think it's okay for him to tell Lee because Lee is very rational and patient. But later on, ugh...

Chuck kinda weird. That's all I gotta say about him, but he's not bad.

[manofthepipis]

*bursts through door* *a gazillion character analysis pages fall on the floor* HELLO!! I really hope you don’t mind! But like, I have so many ideas and thoughts about your characters that I’ve been dying to share with you!! I hope that’s alright! Here’s my in depth analysis of your five main Addisons! I gave them all a name starting with “P” LMAO IDK why

Sponsor: Persuader

-I’ll admit, he was hard for me to pinpoint. But I’m not one to back down from a challenge! I decided to make Sponsor the persuader because he has a very “electric” aura around them. Now when I say he persuades, he doesn’t manipulate obviously, he just hypes them up to be brave and that they’ve got this! (Sometimes…) Like in the previous chapter, they manage to persuade the group that “hey! I believe in Spamton!” And is able to get Banner and Survey to agree with them. (And later Clicks) He also has a streak of acting without thinking, like a “rip the bandaid of quick so it will sting less” (Mike incident and Swinging open the door to Spamton’s “room” respectfully) However, he does realize that their actions have consequences a little bit too late in the game. Sponsor is like the energy ball of the team. He keeps them hyped and determined! A spokesperson if you will. He’s like, a cool older bro (I guess younger in this scenario) that will you help you sneak out to try out your new motorbike on the empty road at like 3am or something.

Clicks: Protector

-Another given in the group, Clicks is calculated and logical. Not that he doesn’t show any emotion (far from it…) but in terms w/ Spam especially. Clicks is shown to be on guard. A sword and shield duo kinda? His sword side is that He’s quick to jump to conclusions about Spamton, but is also the first one to get shit done when he sees Spamton struggling with an episode (Panic Attack & Glitch Attack respectively) However, his shield side is that he actually really still deeply cares about our little spam man and the other Addisons. When they first encounter NEO, he’s the first one to actively protect the group and tells them to get to safety. Also, I’m curious to see Clicks side of the story with his thoughts on Spam. Looking at it his way, he probably feels regret, anger, pity and guilt. Like his deep dark feelings to who or whatever did this to Spam and I just think that he… has a tough time processing it because he’s in this state of shock and is supposed to look out for the group! Not the other way around. Someone help out my emotional constipated drama queen.

Survey: Peacekeeper

-This one was kinda easy with the whole, “Survey is the voice of reason!” thing. Survey was the one who had the biggest impact on talking Spamton down from his NEO rampage in the first place. They also try to put everyone’s feelings above their own, and multiple times during the story, they get onto Clicks for being too passive aggressive toward Spam. They are just trying their best by keeping the peace and being a shoulder to lean on. But, I can’t help but wonder if this is gonna take a toll on them(?) not that they don’t want to help Spam anymore, but that they might need a mental break for themselves. I don’t think they had enough time to process their OWN trauma from their past experience with NEO. Like in the previous chapter, Surv definitely seems to be struggling with an internal conflict of their own, help Spamton, or go somewhere safe kinda deal. Maybe Swatch can lend an ear(?) Also!! I just want to give them a big ol’ hug!

Banner: Provider

-I chose banner as a provider because he doesn’t really fit into the “peacekeeper” category, BUT he is shown continuously providing for the other addisons (ex: Hot Chocolate, New clothes for Spamton, Moral Support for Survey etc…) His strengths are that he’s determined, hopeful and optimistic. He’s able to provide a sense of agreement and comradeship with the others by just letting them know that he’s there for them etc,, plus with his dwindling confidence, a provider is a good role for him because he’s able to offer support and help, but just at the sidelines. Hopefully he can get his confidence up!! He seems passionate but anxious, and wants to prove he can do more. Also, Banner seems to be the mother hen of the group if I had to give one of ‘em that role. Like, I can 100% see him telling Clicks, “bring a coat with you it’s gonna be cold!” And then goes on a whole rant when Clicks did not in fact bring a coat while at the same time pulling a spare coat from his inventory to give to him LMAO I love this dude.

Spamton: Puppet

ARUGHAHD DUDE IM SORRY BUT. YOU ARE THE BEST AUTHOR I HAVE EVER MET THAT ACCURATELY PORTRAYS SPAMTON!!!! He’s a tragic but comedic character. You perfectly balanced his humor with his hurt like 10000/10 Spam writing!!!! I also enjoy how you write his mini episodes with his panic attacks, dissociation episodes, and his bouts of depression! (As someone who has gone though similar episodes myself, it’s executed very realistically!) also! I have some ideas on how the group can get spammy out of his static episodes! Some things that help me out of a dissociation episode is just putting my hands in some cold water or just splashing some water in your face. helps distract your brain from trailing off too much! Also giving Spamton something to fidget with might help his anxiety as well! As for talking to him out of a panic attack, just letting him know that his family’s got his back this time. Maybe something like a weighted blanket can help him with his panic? Idk but that usually helps me!! Also book these five a group therapy session asap LMAO maybe Ralsei can be their psychologist?

AAAAAA i love these thoughts i'm currently spinning ur analysis in my head like a microwave and these are just all so awesome i've read over them over and over because all of it is like exactly what i wanted to convey and then more

sponsor is the addison i haven't had too much time developing yet because i have a plan for them later on but what you wrote is exactly it!! :D he does have so much energy, but like electricity, enough consumption of it leads to shutting down. after spamton's disappearance, he couldn't handle much of the back and forth from the other ads, and kept to himself throughout it, not remarking on it knowing clicks and banner at the time were the most bitter. his 'acting without thinking' is also spot on and something they're aware of, which leads to them being too-hesitant at times and then vice versa. that and he's not very good with handling emotions, and has a view of things that isn't so past-driven. like it's not "oh we almost got killed bc of spam" it's "spams back! he's different but he's here". i made them the newest addison out of the bunch which is going to come into play a bit later with his connection to spamton, but i love the idea he's the spokesperson of the group, and a persuasive big bro figure. his energy, when it's there, is definitely contagious (also i could go on and on about this guy i love him sm)

i love this take on clicks as well being like a sword/shield because that!!! is such a good way to describe it!! like, unlike sponsor, he's very past-driven, but that leads to so many emotions that just take over. he's aware of consequences, a little bit more than the rest, but his ego gets in the way of the consequences of his own actions (like if he were the one talking down sneo instead of survey they'd all be nothing but spare pixels in seconds). he's a protector, both a successful and a failed one, and god his emotions are all over because of that as he's trying to process what happened while dealing with the aftermath AND getting over his resentment for spamton whenever it surfaces. dude is SO emotionally constipated it's ridiculous

i wanted to make survey the main pov from the beginning because of how they kinda tie everyone together and are more of an observer than the other ads (i thought about the idea of having a pov from each addison every once in awhile but that just seemed a little much). they are a peacekeeper :D but being a peacekeeper isn't the easiest job especially when something like this pops up. it is DEFINITELY taking a toll on them, and they are in no means a leader, so this responsibility is weighing on them like a lot. Though they are patient, understanding, and trustworthy there is a limit to how far that can be pushed. they still love spamton and the others but i agree they need a lil bit of a break :') (are they going to get one immediately???? lol the answer may not surprise u)

banner oh boy ok i have a little bit of bias (he's grown to be my favorite over time) but him being a provider is like exactly it :D it's how he expresses his care towards others is through items, distractions, optimism etc because that's the one thing hes really confident in is what he can make. he acts as a stand-in leader in the first part, but after failing to apologize to sneo, that confidence ship has taken a hit. he's not sure if he can lead anymore, and has started falling behind the others, but it's only because he doesn't know a lot of what happened to spamton. the guy acts on what he knows, and is aware he makes the wrong decision on inferences but if he can build up spamton's trust, find out how to help, then he can do something from there :'). btw i love this scenario of him pestering clicks about having a coat because it's so true. he won't let his addison family go out without a coat goddangit

with spamton (AAAAAA TYSM :'D I LOVE WRITING HIS CHARACTER AND SO THIS IS SO MUCH APPRECIATED <3 <3) gosh what can i NOT say about him?? he's just so !!! i love this lil puppet guy. his mental state is incredibly unstable, but he's the type of guy to want attention but not from his faults. i'm glad i could have his episodes be reminiscent of what those who have them go through while in spamton's pov of having corrupted software. i strive to be as realistic as possible while also keeping him just a lil computer guy :D tho i like the idea of the water getting him out of the static, because a physical distraction like that is actually so helpful. the addisons definitely got his back this time, and actually in the next chapter i have a lot written about their ideas to conquer the static while also giving him something that will help him but also challenge him a little bit as he makes his return to this new normal.

[the-firebird69]

Circles sizzle in the glades. Charlotte Park aost done. Drying apartment soon ready. Today 5am 2 rad , and it is past 5:00 a.m. and he was walking around inside it's reduced now the air conditioner is not on full blast all the time and it is somewhat warmer but it's more healthy. Around 8:30 there's another one at about 2.3 rad it's a bit high he needs exposure but it probably is a bit on top so he's inside and it's going to be 2.1 rad which is still high. He really needs that exposure right now he's had about 62 she says wow then we're going to say it's 64 but no it's probably around 62%. A whole bunch of it came out from sitting outside and he was outside for a few hours here to the bed breaker. One of those very high. Today is going to be as we mentioned about 8:30 a.m. at two point rad on the inside and it'll be about 2.3 rad on the outside it's a little bit higher but then at 9:30 it's 2.0 but 1.7 inside which is high enough and at 11:30 it will be about 2.4 rad outside and 2.0 inside plenty high yeah these buildings are getting arranged usually it's all Air gets to them and it's not so much lately and people have been getting sick but when the quarter mileage the five of those circles are out they will bring the shoreline closer and a lot of salt Air will come up this way and it will help even our son needs it it was bad but it'll be nice also what's going to increase in the afternoon at 1:30 p.m. to 2.5 red give me about 2.3 rad inside it's very high for all of these people they can't really do it and they shouldn't and the demons want to kidnapping and we'll come in as well. Around about 3:30 p.m. we will have about 2.4 rad and inside it'll be 2.2 red which of these blasts will be about 10 minutes the taper down on a pair of 30 minutes to 0.3 believe it or not and Charlotte Park is not going at the same time it's going to go out four times to about 1.7 here inside 1.5 and it will be some sort of leveling off the other ones for our son and it's going to be a pleasant experience because he'll feel better this is going to be an intense day for this alone for our son and it says I can handle it I have a team and I see it working and I see these guys and we're fighting as well which is good nice to hear from people and the it's working and he says all that and it is good to hear. And it ship is just wonderful I'm just wondering how she got the red he says. Probably wants red white and blue but okay. It's really not pleasant being stuck here but we're getting through it. But it's nice for them to put up a shelter and to help him it's really tough it's a tough job. But at the end of the day if this radiation is going to be too much for most of them it is very high and they brought some testing some of them and they don't tell others and other sites that they can look at though it's very very high Johnny he's doing his own body and it's going to be accumulating more and more of it is outside night and day and he's going to be very sick by the end of today it's going to go into the rest of the organs we Believe and he's going to be probably at a five or a level five and then stage 5 maybe tonight it's ridiculous he's got it's in the bones and it's showing on scans of the irradiated it and he is not going to be well so more shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

Good the last part too I was trying to make him sick and he's getting very sick and again stupid he thinks he's just has a lipoma issue and he's going to try and look at it it's not real hard and you should have less not more of those things

Hera

I might have a little bit of it and I have some medicine for it and it's terrible and I don't know to see it might be everywhere I should be an intensive treatment and I'm not removing myself so I'm going to go down. Tommy f is going to save me and it sucks I swear to get something everyone needs to know what's in there there's a reason for it and I could have used it this is when that poop reaches a certain electrostatic level of activity it might didn't name certain ordinance I heard scientists were figuring that out and I would be the impetus for change or the primer for JC and Mary in the clans I've got to get out of this

I really have to go do my work and sitting here getting sicker is not working but someone's going to have to drag me out and he's not doing it for his own health

Trump

Olympus again

What a ridiculous person needs a spoiled brat

Hera

[waywardxrhea]

Part Sixteen - The Past Catches Up

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health issues/crisis, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, (potentially smut later on).

installment list

Word count: 7.9k

This one is a tough read, so I am giving everyone a fair warning right now that in this chapter Emma faces an intense mental health crisis over her past that explodes in her face. There is a lot of hurt in this chapter, but also some comfort in the form of Clint Barton being an awesome father figure. Read on at your own risk.

The team gets to work, looking into databases and trying to locate anything that Ultron got into or any clues about where he could be. Emma stands up from her spot on the bench when her feet are finally mended and she thanks Helen for the aid. She debates on approaching Steve to talk things through, but decides against it and instead goes to Tony who is standing near his tech table.

Emma hands him the drive once she gets to him and says quietly, "If it makes you feel any better, not everything is lost. I still have the AI chip you were working on. I know it's no JARVIS, but it could be a start for now."

"It's not that, I have plenty of other AI to replace him with, plus yours is made especially for you. It's just the fact that it all happened. I just..." Tony sighs as he takes the drive from Emma. He changes the subject quickly and tells her, "I was actually done with the physical drone itself as of a few hours ago. I just didn't tell you that because I didn't want it destroyed with everything else in the fight. Now, all we have to do is add in the chip and you'll be good to go, you know assuming he didn't destroy the damn thing."

Tony leads Emma to the other side of the lab and shows her the new drone - sleek, shiny, and untouched by Ultron. "Oh it's amazing, Tony," Emma breathes with a small smile. After a second of thought, the smile falters and she says, "Although if...if the team doesn't want me on board anymore I would understand."

"Don't you listen to Rhodey, I'll talk to him about it. He just acts all high and mighty since he's a colonel. I think he sometimes forgets that I have done many, many illegal things on dares. He'll get over it." Tony touches the surface of the drone and a compartment opens up revealing a pair of glasses which he hands Emma and tells her to put on. "The AI and all of the drone's capabilities can be accessed with those glasses. They're pretty fashionable if I do say so myself. Sexy librarian is really in right now."

Emma smiles a little bit at the joke that earns a confused look from Bruce as he approaches to see what Tony had done with the drone. Tony brushes off the look and continues, saying, "You'll also have the mini control tablet that you will strap onto your arm which will grant access to your vitals for the purposes of that music feature we have set up for you." He pauses and looks to Bruce and ponders out loud, "I really should work on a version of that for Big Green shouldn't I, Banner?"

"I don't think it would make a difference, to be honest," Bruce replies.

"Ah, well, moving on! On the new and improved drone, there is a 360-degree camera so you can see all around you at all times so there will be no surprise attacks, I updated the stealth tech so nothing should be able to detect it, not even something powered by the scepter, and last but not least, I did add in some blasters in case you need them."

"Wow, I really don't know what to say...thank you, Tony. For believing in me," Emma says quietly.

"You're welcome. Now I've been working on a name and I think I settled on SAM which stands for Saving Asses Mundanely."

Emma smiles at the name and laughs, saying, "That's great, thank you again."

"Now, I know it's been a crazy night, but I need you to get yourself used to that drone as soon as possible because we need to go out and kick some robot ass and you're coming with."

Emma nods, grabbing her new tech and heading off. She stops by Maria and tells her, "I'm going to swing by my place real quick to change and head right back. Do you need anything?"

"Emma, I'm going with you, you're not going out by yourself," she replies, putting her jacket on and starting the walk down the halls with her. "You don't need to be alone right now anyway," she adds, having witnessed Emma's emotions while they were discussing things in the lab earlier.

Emma nods as she places the drone into an empty conference room before heading to the exit with Maria. She doesn't want to talk about it, but the problem isn't going away any time soon, so she asks, "How the hell did Ultron know about my past? You and Fury kept it off SHIELD books and files. And he said it himself, I was never caught! Now here it is coming back to bite me in the ass all these years later..."

"Emma, he swept everything which I'm sure included any sort of signature you may have accidentally left that led back to you. The cops may not have been able to find it, and I thought we erased it all back at SHIELD, but the past has a way of showing up when you least expect it."

"So much for..." Emma says with a sigh, "well forget it. It doesn't matter anymore anyway."

"What doesn't matter?"

"It's nothing," Emma replies with a bit of desperation in her voice, not wanting to think about it as they exit the building and enter the cool night air.

"Emma. You can be honest with me."

Emma sighs and says, "It's just...if there was even a small chance of things happening between me and Steve, that isn't going to happen anymore. Not after that bombshell." Maria laughs for a second in response and Emma shoots her a glare, her voice breaking a bit with emotion as she says, "It isn't funny, Maria."

"Emma, you have got to be kidding me, right?" When Emma doesn't respond, Maria continues, telling her, "Steve held your hand when Ultron first showed up. Do you not remember that?"

Suddenly, that moment floods back to her. Steve's warm hand in hers. She felt safe if only for a fleeting second. "I guess at the time, my mind didn't process it...but that was before Ultron told everyone about my past. You should have seen the look he gave me." Remembering the look of almost... betrayal and disappointment on Steve's face, Emma could feel her heart breaking yet again.

"Emma, it isn't like that," Maria tries to reassure her.

"But how can you know that? He hasn't spoken a word to me at all since it happened." Emma pauses for a second, letting her heart speak before her mind gets the time to process what she was saying. "To think I was actually going to say something to him tonight...this whole situation just proves that the universe is out to get me and it isn't meant to be."

"Oh come on now," Maria says as they get into the car to go to Emma's.

Emma sighs, saying, "Sorry, I sound like a whiny teen. In my defense though, I never got to have this experience as a teenager, so it's justified." Emma tries to laugh at her own joke, but can't even convince herself to laugh.

"I'm here to listen if that's what you need, but I can also give advice if you need that too. Whatever you need, okay?"

"Okay," Emma replies as they drive the city streets. "I just feel so overwhelmed the past few days and I can't shake the feeling that I'm just a hindrance to the team. I know Tony says they need me, but do they really? They would be just fine without me."

"The team would function just fine without you, yes, and I don't mean that in a harsh way, but the team operates even better with you there. They have someone watching their backs in the heat of battle. You keep them on their feet and keep them safe. You also provide a great source of information to the media. Favor for The Avengers goes up every time you do a story about them and what they do as a team for the greater good of the world. What I'm trying to say is that they need you as much as you need them. I know it can be hard to see sometimes, but maybe you just need to take a step back and evaluate yourself in terms of the team's dynamic."

Emma nods as she takes in the words. They drive in silence as Emma tries to process everything that happened that night. When they get to her apartment, Emma goes into her bedroom and changes into some comfier clothes. After she changes, she finally breaks her silence, saying, "I get what you're saying, yeah. Thank you, Maria. I can't promise I won't continue to be down in the dumps for a bit, but you've given me something to think about."

"Atta girl," Maria replies with a smile and a soft punch to Emma's arm as she reemerges into the living area. The two head back to Avengers Tower for the night, Maria heading off to try and track Ultron and Emma getting in tune with her new drone.

The next morning, Emma finishes up another round of shooting down target dummies with her drone's blasters in the training area. As the target hits the ground with a crash, the door opens revealing Barton. He takes in the room that is littered with the fallen objects and whistles before asking, "Wow, what happened in here, Baker?"

Emma lets out a small laugh and replies, "A lot actually." She pauses as she calls SAM back to her and takes off the control glasses. "I couldn't sleep, so I just...did this all night."

"I will say, I'm damn impressed. This is good progress for only a few hours of work." He picks up a target and examines it while casually asking, "Why no sleep?"

"I just-" Emma starts and falters, not sure what to say. "I was just...feeling a lot after what Ultron told everyone about...about my past. I just feel like everyone kinda hates me now..."

"Well I can't speak for the whole team, but I will say that I frankly don't think someone's past should be what we judge them on. If you're a good person now, which you are, I think that's what matters. You have a good heart, Emma, okay?"

"I just feel like not everyone on the team has that same point of view..." Emma replies and frowns while kicking some debris.

"Well then screw them. If you don't want to talk about it with me, that's fine, but if Fury and Hill thought that what you did was too bad, you wouldn't have been taken on as a SHIELD agent. Clearly, they thought that the skills you had were useful and helped you use them for good. Tony did too, you heard him yourself. Hell, Natasha knows first-hand about having a past to clear up, she isn't judging you either." Clint takes a few steps towards her and rubs her tense shoulder as he tells her, "See, that's a good chunk of us that are in your corner. Everything'll be okay."

"Thanks, Clint," Emma replies with a small smile. She's happy that she has some people on her side, but she still can't shake the feeling that Steve won't be able to see her side of things...

"But hey, what I came in here to tell you is that Hill got some intel on what Ultron's been up to since he left. We're heading out on a mission."

"Am I invited?"

"Don't be like that. Of course you are. Start getting your stuff together, jet's taking off soon," Clint tells her with a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Emma nods and activates the pack mode on the drone so she can wear it on her back while she heads out of the training area. She informs someone of the mess in the room and apologies for it before she starts gathering all of her reporting supplies for the mission.

She retrieves her laptop, notebook, headsets, and cameras for the mission from her little office before heading to the loading zone for the jet. Everyone is bustling around getting their equipment and themselves ready for the mission when she arrives. "I see you've figured out my hand dandy pack mode on the drone?" Tony asks, falling into step beside her.

"Yeah, I figured out a lot about it overnight," Emma replies as they walk into the jet. "The uh...the program we set up works well, by the way, thank you."

From where Steve is setting up on the ship, he hears Emma make this comment to Tony, and he gets curious about what had happened, but he quickly refocuses himself on the mission. He couldn't lose focus, not now. He was already distracted enough having the bombshell of Emma's supposed past being thrown at them. How could she not have told him something like that?

Meanwhile, the conversation with Tony and Emma continues. "I knew it would. Did you get yourself upset on purpose to see if it would work? You know, in the name of science."

Emma replies half-heartedly, "No need for faking that. All real, all...painful, but I didn't lose control." Not wanting to talk about it and relive what happened the night before, Emma parts ways from Tony, going to her little corner of the jet to set up her equipment. She activates her AI glasses while doing so so that they could get hooked up with her existing tech.

While Emma sets up, she can't help her mind flashing back to the hours before when she began her training with her drone. She remembers the pang of guilt she felt when she walked into the training area to see one of Steve's previously standing punching bags knocked to the ground. She felt in her heart that she was responsible for his anger because she hid her past from everyone. She remembers the hot tears pricking the back of her eyes when she saw this, and just like it had at that moment the night before, SAM begins playing soft violin music to calm her down. When the music softly plays in her ear, Emma is brought back to the present and continues her set up with assistance from SAM in connecting to Maria back home and making sure any footage will be sent right back to her at the tower.

Throughout the flight, Emma keeps to herself, occasionally receiving the company of Clint trying to make her smile with a joke which only works occasionally because her mind is so clouded. "Oh come on, that one usually kills at the bar!" Clint laughs after another joke.

Emma smiles a little bit and comes back with, "I have a feeling that may be because of the adult beverages being served at said bar."

From her seat nearby Romanoff laughs, saying, "Ooh she got you there, Clint." Emma looks over to her and she smiles before heading off to check on the mission details. Ironically, after the past two days' events, Emma thinks that maybe Romanoff was finally starting to accept her.

Later on, the team is getting close to the landing point in South Africa and everyone starts to suit up. All except Bruce. He walks up to Emma and sits across from her, asking, "Hey, I'm hoping we don't have to call a Code Green, but in case we do, did you bring the tea for after the mission?"

Emma curses and apologizes, starting to ramble by saying, "I'm so sorry, Bruce, I totally forgot...I didn't have time to go get more before we left and-"

"Hey, it's okay, I understand. It's been a busy morning. The lullaby will work perfectly fine if we need to use it," he tells her with a smile. "But hopefully we don't even have to break out the other guy."

"Here's to hoping," Emma replies as she gets up to set the team's suits up with their cameras. She puts off getting to Steve because she is trying to find the words to say about the night before's events: the hand holding, the bombshell, the punching bag in the training room. The music appears again in her ear as her mind races and she brings herself back to reality.

Emma gets to Steve and sets his camera up and is about to say something when Tony shouts, "Okay people, we don't have time to lose, let's get moving!"

"I think you're forgetting who's in charge here, Stark," Steve tells him, heading off right as Emma finishes with the camera.

Emma visibly deflates as the team rushes out of the jet. From behind her, Bruce sucks in air through his teeth and says, "Wow, you could cut the tension with a knife right there."

Emma takes a breath and shakes her head, telling him, "Not the time, Banner..."

"Okay, okay," Bruce says, putting his hands in the air.

Emma returns to her setup and Bruce follows, wanting to watch the action unfold and see if the Hulk would be needed if things got rough out there for the team. After ensuring that the team got inside, Emma puts SAM into stealth mode and maneuvers quietly into the ship that they had gone into. 

From above, she sees the team split up and form flanks on all sides of Ultron and the Maximoff twins. The Maximoffs were the two enhanced kids that they had encountered in Sokovia and Ultron had moved quickly getting them on his side. From the intel the team gathered, it turns out they were HYDRA's secret weapon.

Keeping an eye on all the cameras on her monitor as well as on the footage being shown in front of her glasses, Emma takes up the flank opposite of Romanoff, careful to avoid any hanging chains so she would have the element of surprise on her side.

As she moves into the area though, suddenly, Ultron uses a sort of forcefield to grab and throw Tony into a wall which engages everyone into the battle immediately. Emma begins shooting at the incoming droids with her blasters, eliminating as many as she can so the team wouldn't be overwhelmed. From beside her, Bruce pipes up, "Try and stay away from any platforms because once that kid gets moving he's almost impossible to dodge. We can't lose this drone so soon."

A bit of frustration at the comment seeps into Emma's mind, but she ignores it and flies her drone into the upper ceiling level and keeps an eye on things from up there while still shooting at enemies, robot and human alike. Emma sees Steve knock down the male twin, Pietro, and she moves her drone to hover in front of him, revealing it to him and pointing a blaster his way. He sees this and in his stunned state stays in his place on the ground.

The gunfire in the ship gets louder and Bruce asks into the coms, "Guys, is this a code green?"

When no one responds due to their fighting, Emma tells him, "It looks like they're okay for now." Bruce nods, but wrings his hands together and lowers the ramp of the jet to see what he can of the fight outside.

Over the coms, Steve asks Thor what his status is and he replies, "The girl tried to warp my mind. Take special care, I doubt a human could keep her at bay. Fortunately I am mighty..."

Emma turns her camera around and sees that Pietro had finally gotten up from his position on the floor and she calls on the coms, "Watch out, we have a runner."

At the exact moment, Steve gets knocked to the ground by the speedster and he cracks off without thinking, "Little more warning next time would be great."

Emma takes a breath and piano music begins playing in her ear, calming her and bringing her back to her senses. She replies quietly, "Won't happen again," and begins shooting at enemies once more. 

Emma had been paying more attention to her own fight than the others so when she stops and sees everyone in a state of almost being stunned she asks, "Guys, what the hell is going on? Is everyone okay?"

"Things are getting dicey, Baker." The reply comes from Clint which makes Emma turn her camera toward him.

Right after he sends a shockwave arrow into the ship, the female twin, Wanda, comes up behind Clint trying to use her powers on him. "Barton on your six!" Emma shouts and tries to find a shot at the girl where she wouldn't hit Clint in the process.

He ends up shocking her brain with one of his arrows and tells her, "I've done the whole mind control thing, not a huge fan."

Right after this encounter, Pietro runs into the area, knocking Clint over the railing and through some glass. "Are you okay, Barton? I can head after them," Emma informs him as she begins looking around to see which way they went.

"I'll be fine," Clint replies through his pain, "go give em hell, Baker."

She switches off her end of the coms for a second, telling SAM, "Find where they went and fast."

"On it, boss," SAM replies and scans the area, guiding Emma to where the pair ran off to. "They are outside the ship. She seems to have taken a hit from Mr. Barton's arrow. Go now so you can keep them down."

Emma nods and quickly navigates out. When she finds them, she sees they are positioned right in sight of the jet. When she sees Wanda say something to Pietro and nod at the ship, Emma's eyes go wide and she tells Bruce, "Banner, close the ramp right now."

"What for?" Bruce asks but it cut off by a streak of silver zooming into the ship.

Emma reacts quickly, mumbling a command to her AI, "SAM, whatever happens, keep the cameras on the fight. Forget about me if something goes wrong." She then turns her coms back on and informs Clint quietly, "They're in the jet I don't kno-"

Before she can finish her sentence though, there are a few wisps of red flying her way, and she is suddenly swept back to the Avengers Tower in New York. Emma looks around confused for a second and then sees the team sitting around the table that held Mjolnir the night before. Something overcomes her and she is thrust into the middle of the group, her body being forced to try and lift the hammer.

Rather than the playful banter of the previous night though, the words coming her way are harsh and unrelenting. The taunts start off with Tony saying, "You'll never live up to it. You've become so dependent on my tech to even operate normally in your daily life. Without me you wouldn't have a job. Without me you're rendered useless. You'll never be worthy."

Then comes Romanoff. "You're not one of us. You never will be. We're all trained in our craft, immaculate at our jobs, all you do is get in our way. You're just dead weight."

"I have half a mind to get you arrested right now," says Rhodes.

"You've got no skills with this tech, all you do is destroy it," Bruce calls from his spot on the couch.

Thor's laugh fills the room as Emma's body tugs at the hammer, desperate to make it move. "You'll never be worthy! You're just a puny mortal incapable of knowing what we're up against. You could never understand the fight we're in."

Tears begin to stream down Emma's face as she pulls with all her might, but it doesn't budge. Finally, from behind her comes Steve's voice. "Try as you might, there's not a single thing you do for this team. All you do is distract us and get in the way." Emma's limbs go numb as the words leave his mouth and she lets go of the hammer's handle. She turns to Steve who throws a look of hatred her way as he spits, "I can't believe you. You're a criminal and a liar. To think I loved you."

Emma's heart shatters into pieces at the last comment and she falls to her knees in the vision. As she falls, weeping, her senses back on the jet begin to come to. She hears music slowly emerging into her ears as she opens her eyes which are wet with tears. Emma quickly wipes her eyes with her sleeve and shakes her head trying to regain all of her senses.

In front of her, the team begins to shuffle into the jet, everyone distant and disoriented from the fight or their own visions given to them by Wanda. No one speaks. Emma slowly disengages her tech as Clint sits her drone on the table across from her. He pats her shoulder before heading off to begin flying the jet.

After shutting down all of her tech, Emma looks around at the team. Everyone seems to have taken a huge hit in that fight... Her eyes land on Steve last, and she feels her heart break again as those words flood into her mind liar, criminal, and the ones that hurt the most to think I loved you...

Emma lays her head down on the table and tears fall from her eyes again. The thoughts in her mind race, telling her that she is useless, incapable, dead weight, and going further back, a burden, waste of space, and a mistake. Even though she knows it would help, Emma doesn't bother putting in headphones or her glasses on to try and calm down because maybe all those thoughts were right... Maybe the vision was a manifestation of the truth of what the team thought of her...after all, Wanda had been in their minds before she got to Emma.

A few minutes later, Emma's tears stop briefly and she cues up the footage of the battle that she missed while she was out, the footage that SAM caught on her orders. As she watches the Hulk smash through numerous buildings and stalls in a market, she closes her eyes and shakes her head in disbelief. She not only saw the total destruction on the screen, but the broken man sitting on the floor of the jet, full of remorse.

When Emma finishes up watching the footage, Maria comes onto a screen to chat with Tony about the incident. From where she is in the back of the jet, Emma can't exactly make out what Maria was saying to Tony, but judging by their grim expressions, it can't be good. After Maria ends her call with Tony, Emma is tempted to call Maria up herself to see what the damage was, but she can't find it in herself to do so. More thoughts of her insignificance to the team fill her mind as Emma puts her head down once more, hoping to get some rest and try to escape her own thoughts.

A few hours of rest later, Emma feels a tap on her shoulder, waking her up from her slumber. She lifts her head and blinks a few times to orient herself. When she finally makes eye contact with him, Clint tells her, "Come on out, we're at a safe house."

Emma stands up and stretches before putting her drone into pack mode and hoisting it onto her back. She allows the rest of the team to clear out of the jet before she does, not wanting to get in the way. Once she emerges, her eyes are met with beautiful scenery of the countryside. There's a barn and a farm house and huge fields surrounding them, the beauty of it all almost making Emma forget the events of the last few days. Almost.

Although beautiful, Emma can't help but have her mind torn to a memory from her childhood. It's a brief memory, but it evokes a feeling of fear from Emma. What she remembers is flashes of the old farmhouse her parents had rented one time during their many years of moving. She remembers indistinct yelling and peeking around corners to see what was going on, curious but not wanting to get in the way. Emma shakes her head and follows the group into the house, trying not to think about the memory that had just resurfaced.

As they walk into the living area, Clint calls out, "Honey? I'm home." After he does, a very pregnant woman emerges into the space and Clint continues with, "Hi. I brought company, sorry I didn't call ahead."

As they kiss hello, Tony says, "This is an agent of some kind."

Clint turns to them all and says, "Gentlemen, Emma, this is Laura."

"I know all your names," Laura tells them with a laugh and a small wave.

There are suddenly stomping footsteps coming their way and a couple of kids run and give Clint a hug. At that moment, Emma's mind flashes to another memory. She sees her father coming towards her with a belt in his hand and anger in his eyes. Emma's limbs feel numb and her head begins to spin as her anxiety begins to spike again. Without even thinking she says quietly, "I'll be back," and walks into the fresh air outside.

In the living room, Thor stays a bit longer before heading outside himself. As he leaves, Steve notices that Emma has left too and sighs in frustration at the two of them. Clint senses the tension in the air and looks at Steve and says, "I'll go help her, you talk with Thor."

Outside, Emma makes her way to the barn and sits on the ground with her legs pulled to her chest. Her breathing is quick and ragged, feeling as if she couldn't get enough air in her lungs if she tried. Suddenly as if some sort of floodgates opened, dozens of repressed memories from her childhood fill her mind, unrelenting. She hears the word useless shouted many times as well as other derogatory terms thrown in the mix. One phrase that stands out the most in the chaos was her father yelling at her young teen self that she would never be worthy of love.

The tears flow freely as Emma tries to will herself out of existence. She just doesn't want to hear all those words anymore... At that moment, Emma feels afraid again. From the vision Wanda showed her plus this, she just feels worthless, like she was nothing, just a burden on her friends and on society.

What felt like hours later but was only merely moments, a presence approaches Emma. Irrational thoughts making Emma think it was her father, she pulls her legs closer to her body and whispers, "Please don't hurt me. Please no. I didn't do anything, Dad... I'll do whatever just please-"

Clint's heart breaks at the sight and he softly says, "Hey, hey, hey, it's just me. It's Clint. I'm not here to hurt you." At the sound of Clint's voice, Emma slightly loosens her grip on her legs, but keeps her head down. Seeing her relax the slightest bit, Clint asks, "Can I sit?"

Not capable of speaking through her crying, Emma simply nods and Clint takes a seat next to her on the grass. After a few more moments of relative silence, Clint gently puts a hand on Emma's back. She tenses up for a second before relaxing as he rubs gentle circles on her back. Clint smiles and that smile is evident in his voice as he tells Emma softly, "That always helps the kids calm down too."

A few more moments pass and Emma's breathing and crying finally stop enough for her to say quietly, "I can see why, it's really soothing." She thinks for a second and says, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Just...for everything. How I'm always in the way, how I keep messing up, how I'm just a distraction and liability during missions, how I'm not trained and just stumble through missions like a complete amateur, how I'm just...useless."

Clint stops rubbing Emma's back and looks at her, saying, "Emma, you are not what that little witch showed you."

"Sure I am, Clint... everyone thinks it. I see the way the team looks at me."

"That's a load of sh-" Clint stops himself and thinks what he would say if it were his kids. "That isn't true Emma. You are strong and capable. The reporting you do is legendary, you may not know it, but it is. Everyone at SHIELD knew your name because of it. They all appreciated your work and now everyone who follows the Avengers knows your name too. Today during the mission you kicked some butt and saved me from getting my mind controlled. I just wish I could have done the same for you."

Emma lifts her head and nods, considering his words before saying, "I know you're just saying that, Clint... Besides, I'm not sure the whole team would share your point of view on my work on the mission today. Cap got hit on my watch because I wasn't paying attention for half a second. I captured the footage of Hulk in that city. I'm sure I'm not too popular right now..."

"You can't help what the Hulk did, Emma. All you did was capture the footage." Clint pauses for a beat and then asks, "What did she show you anyways?"

Emma sighs and a few tears escape from her eyes before she tells him, "Just...she showed me a vision and it was like we were back at the tower trying to lift Mjolnir. Everyone was telling me how useless and incapable I was...I couldn't handle it. It reinforced what I was already feeling about how you all think about me. It also reminded me of the past. Seeing you and your family was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did."

Clint nods solemnly, asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do I want to? No, but for some reason I feel like I should..."

"Then go right ahead, I'm all ears," Clint says and leans back against the barn.

"I'll spare you the details, but it's just...my father was a very angry man who hated the world and everything in it. My mom was absent most of the time, and when she was there all they did was fight. I never really had anyone to comfort me when I was upset or that I could go to when something bad happened. That's why I never told anyone who didn't need to know about my past... I grew up not being able to express my feelings or concerns without getting berated. 

“Even after years of my grandparents helping me move past that, it's still really hard to do things like expressing my feelings or telling people things that may upset them or make them think less of me. You know, I honestly don't even know how I'm telling you all of this right now. My mind is completely fried and I just feel very vulnerable right now..."

Clint is silent for a moment as he takes in what Emma had to say. Panic fills Emma's mind again and she quickly says, "Oh no, I said too much didn't I? I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, it's okay, Emma. It's just a lot to process." He sits for a second more and then continues, saying, "I want you to know that you are loved. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you are loved. Knowing now what you've been through, I am that much more impressed with you and how you turned out. It sounds like your grandparents turned things around for you and they finished out raising a fine young lady."

"But what about my past with...you know," Emma tries to say.

"Emma," Clint says and looks her in the eyes. "It takes a lot of courage to forgive yourself, to put the past behind you and move on, but I believe that you can do it. I know that you are a capable young woman who can do whatever she sets her mind to, and that will take you far in life. Besides, there seems to be a lot of secrets being kept between all of us. I'm sure it'll all work out in the end."

Tears fall from Emma's eyes again and she leans over to give Clint a hug. She quickly pulls away and says, "I'm sorry, I just haven't had a father figure in years and it's nice to have again..."

"Hey, it's okay," Clint says and wraps his arm around her. "Whatever you need I'm here. Just try and keep your head up, okay? And if you need to take a step back, know that I'll back you 100%."

"That means the world, thank you," Emma says and sits back up. "Now you go be with that family of yours. They deserve to have their dad in there with them."

"You heading in too?" Clint asks, offering his hand out to her.

Emma shakes her head, telling him, "Not right now, I need some fresh air still. And I'm not sure I'm ready to face the team just yet."

"Take your time. There's a couple trails out there in the woods if you're up for it. There isn't usually anything too dangerous out there so it'd be safe if you wanna explore."

Emma smiles and nods, saying, "I think I'll do that. It'd be good to clear my head."

"If you aren't back in two hours I'll send a search party," he jokes as he walks off.

"Honestly, if I disappear just leave it be," Emma says, but Clint doesn't hear her.

After a few minutes of deep breathing and listening to the sounds of nature, Emma stands up and makes her way into the woods surrounding the Barton Ranch.

After a little while of clearing her head and listening to the peaceful sounds of nature, Emma is about to head back to the house when she hears the leaves on the trail behind her rustling. She stops and slowly turns her head to see what the source of the noise was only to see Romanoff on the trail.

Emma clutches her chest and lets out a breath, trying to make her heart rate slow back down to a normal speed after thinking she was about to be attacked by a bear or something. "You okay?" Romanoff asks. "Clint said you'd been out here for a while so he sent me to come looking for you."

"Okay is a relative term," Emma tells her quietly.

"What's on your mind?"

"It doesn't matter..." Emma says, not wanting to bother her with her problems, she already feels like she's been burdening everyone else with them.

"Yes it does, Emma," she says. She pauses and adds, "You can trust me."

"It's just a lot of family trauma resurfaced thanks to what that Wanda girl showed me, but I don't wanna bother you with it all and bring up bad family memories for you too," Emma replies.

"Oh that ship has already sailed, Baker," Romanoff tells her as they both walk back down the trail toward the house.

"Well I just didn't..." Emma pauses and contemplates her words for a second before saying, "You just always say that I remind you of your sister and you've never seemed to like me too much, so I just didn't wanna go there and all..."

Romanoff stops in her tracks and says, "Emma, I haven't gotten close with you because you remind me of my sister. I haven't seen her in years, hell I don't even know if she's still alive, but I miss her every day. I've just felt like if I got close with you it would just remind me of her and how much I haven't done to save her, of how much I've screwed up in my life..."

"Oh, I had no idea," Emma whispers, feeling awful now for assuming all these years that she hated her because she reminded her of her sister.

"It's okay. I don't tell many people because of the business we're in and the business I was in before I joined SHIELD." They resume their walk before the red head says, "Speaking of past business though, about what Ultron said back at Avengers Tower..."

Emma tenses up and says, "Natasha, there is a reason I did what I did and-"

Natasha quickly interrupts Emma and tells her, "If you think I'm about to judge you about what happened, I'm not. If there's anyone in the world who understands how it feels being called out about your past, it's me. If you don't want to talk about it though, I'll respect your decision."

"Maybe another time, there's just a lot going on in my head right now. It isn't a fun place to be."

"I understand," Natasha replies with a nod as they get back into the house.

Natasha parts ways with Emma as they enter and Emma runs right into Laura Barton saying, "Hey, I'm sorry for running out earlier. I've just been going through some stuff lately."

"You're okay, Clint told me you were pretty stressed out, I get it," she replies with a smile.

Emma smiles back and then tells her, "It is nice to meet you, though. Between you and me, I had the same type of setup for my grandparents when I was at SHIELD. I'm glad you guys get to stay off the books and off the radar. It's safe that way."

Laura nods, saying, "It is. It can be hard some days, but it's worth it." She pauses and then tells her, "If you want to go wash up, I think the shower is free. The water should be reheated by now. Go relax and destress, and if anyone asks, you're still out exploring." Emma nods and follows Laura's directions to the bathroom where she takes a little bit longer to relax.

When Emma reemerges from the bathroom, she follows the sound of voices to the kitchen and dining area to see Nick Fury talking with the group. He stops his chat with Natasha and says, "Now look who decided to show up. Having fun exploring?" He shoots Laura a look and she laughs with a shrug.

Emma is suddenly hyper aware of the eyes on her and she feels guilty for being caught in yet another lie. She tries to ignore the voices in her head and forces a smile as she replies, "I had a great time."

"Well now that everyone is present, it's time we talk about what I'm actually here for," Fury announces.

Emma quickly surveys the room and decides to take a seat near where Tony and Clint are playing darts. "Did you like the woods?" Clint asks as she sits. "Oh and grab some dinner, it's been a long day."

Emma nods, telling him, "The woods were very serene, I'm trying to mentally be there right now..." She pauses for a second before adding, "And I'm not too hungry right now, thank you though."

Off-handedly, Tony suggests, "If you're stressed, use the glasses." Although unintentional, the comment stings Emma because it was almost like he was referencing what Wanda made him tell her in the vision.

She tries to shake the thought from her mind as Fury begins speaking, telling the group, "Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. All my contacts say he's building something, but with the amount of vibranium he made off with, I find it hard to believe it's just one thing."

"What about Ultron himself?" Steve asks.

"Oh he's easy to track. He's everywhere, multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. That still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans though."

While Fury is talking, Clint sneaks off and makes Emma a plate of food. He sits it in front of her and gives her a stern look that earns a half-hearted smile from Emma as she takes a small bite.

"Is he still going after launch codes?" Tony asks while throwing a dart.

"He is, but he isn't making any headway," Fury replies.

Tony stops what he is doing and says, "I cracked the Pentagon's firewalls in high school on a dare. How is he not making any headway?"

"It's almost like you expect him to be as good as you, Stark," Steve tells him, crossing his arms.

Fury gives both of them a look before continuing, "I contacted our friends at the Nexus about that." The statement hits Emma and she realizes that that was where Ultron had gotten the information on her, it had to be.

"So, what'd they say?" Clint asks, almost as if reading her mind. Emma is happy he asked because frankly, she doesn't want to speak up during a team meeting right now all things considered.

"Well that's the thing. He's after the missiles but he can't get to them because the codes are constantly being changed."

"By whom?" Tony asks as Clint throws a few darts, hitting a bullseye and barely missing Tony's face.

"Party unknown," Fury tells him.

"So we have an ally?" Natasha asks.

"Ultron has an enemy. Not the same thing. I'd pay money to see who it is though."

The gears in Tony's head begin to spin and he says, "I might have to visit Oslo." He then turns to Emma and says, "I can show you my little hacking tricks, Baker."

Steve turns his head slightly to see Emma's response. In a slight panic, Emma turns her head down and doesn't say anything, the conflict inside her mind starting up again. She could go with Tony and gain some knowledge that could be useful in the future, but she would be disappointing Steve and further driving a wedge in their relationship. The thought of not being able to salvage what she had with Steve kills her, so internally she tells herself that there is no way she would go with Tony.

When Emma tunes back into the conversation after arguing with herself, Fury is saying, "Ultron thinks that the Avengers are the only thing between him and his mission. Now, whether or not he admits it, his mission is global destruction, all this laid in a grave. So stand. Outwit the platinum bastard."

At the last comment, Natasha smirks and says, "Oh Steve doesn't like that kind of language."

Fury ignores the comment, sits down, and asks, "So what does he want?"

"To become better," Steve replies. "He keeps building bodies."

"Person bodies," Tony corrects. "The human form is inefficient, biologically speaking. He just keeps coming back to it though."

Natasha looks at Bruce and Tony and tells them, "When you two programmed him to protect the human race, you amazingly failed."

As Bruce looks at a painting one of the kids gave to Natasha, he mumbles, "They don't need to be protected. They need to evolve. Ultron is going to evolve."

Confusion is drawn on everyone's face and Fury asks what they are all thinking, "How?"

"Well has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?" Bruce asks. Of course...Helen had the tech to generate tissue, Ultron would be trying to make a body, but not out of metal this time.

a/n: this one was tough, y'all. If you are ever feeling the way Emma feels in this chapter, please don't hesitate to reach out to a professional or even just a hotline that can help you get through a crisis. Stay well my loves.

link to the next part

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the little things

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x Medic!Reader Synopsis: Five times Soap questions the relationship between Ghost and the 141's Medic, and the one time he gets an answer. Word Count: 2.9k Warnings: mentions of blood, mild swearing Disclaimer: I do not own modern warfare or any of the modern warfare characters.

part two. part three. part four.

The first time is purely by accident. 

It’s not like he’s trying to eavesdrop; it isn’t his fault the infirmary doors were left wide open, and it doesn’t seem like you and Ghost are trying to be quiet. Price called everyone for a meeting in twenty and, since the infirmary’s on the way, Soap figures he’d swing by and grab you. He’s walking towards the doors, paying attention to nothing in particular, when your unmistakable laugh echoes into the hallway. Soap stumbles slightly, caught off guard by the sudden noise. 

Someone’s enjoying themselves, he thinks. He’s almost six steps from the door when you laugh again, this time followed by the deep timbre of a familiar voice that makes Soap stop in his tracks.

Price was the one who had brought you onto the team, but it was supposedly Ghost who had recommended you. “Only medic I ever met who actually knew what they were doing,” he had said. Apparently the two of you had previously worked on multiple missions together, and that was made obvious by the way you two worked flawlessly around each other with an efficiency that could only have been cultivated through a deep trust and years of teamwork. 

Soap slowly approaches, all his stealth training coming to the forefront as he leans next to the door and focuses in on what you’re saying.

“It’ll only take a day, two tops. I promise.” Soap can hear the smile in your voice. Glancing at the glass panes of the doors, he can just make out your reflection. You’re standing beside an empty bed, behind an overbed table that’s covered in papers, leaning on your elbows to smile widely up at Ghost as he stands against the wall on the opposite side of the bed looking wholly unimpressed. 

“You want me to spend an entire day sitting in the corner and watching you give everyone on base flu shots?” 

“No, I’m asking if you’ll sit in the corner and look intimidating while I give everyone on base flu shots. The “look intimidating” part’s important,” you speak matter-of-factly. 

“I’ve seen you amputate a man’s leg at the knee mid-combat. You’re telling me you can’t handle a few shots by yourself?”

Soap makes a note to ask about that story later. 

“I can handle myself just fine, thank you. It’s everyone else that’s the problem here.” Ghost blinks at you, seemingly not believing you. “I get it, you’re all big, tough guys who face death every day-” Soap sinks his teeth into his cheek to fight back a laugh as you try to lower your voice in a very poor imitation of Ghost, “-but the way some of these guys act, you’d think I was coming at them with some kind of medieval torture device. I just think-” “That’d be a first.”

“-If I had someone that everyone respects, and is a little bit afraid of, sitting nearby then they’d stop with the whining and I can get my job done faster.” 

There’s a long pause as you and Ghost stand locked into a staring contest. Soap swears that, for a moment, something like amusement crosses Ghost’s eyes. 

“You think people are only a little afraid of me?” Ghost asks, tilting his head ever-so-slightly. You let out a loud, exaggerated scoff, throwing your hands up.

“Fine! Go lurk in a dark corner and scare children, or whatever it is you do, instead of helping me. Just don’t be surprised if I’m suddenly out of painkillers the next time you get shot.” You’re facing away from him, pouting like a child with your arms crossed over your chest. Both Soap and Ghost know you don’t mean it, your flawless reputation is too important to you, but Ghost sighs and nods anyways.

“Just tell me what days-” Ghost is barely done talking when you’re spinning around, nearly knocking the table over.

“Really?”

“Whatever will get you to stop being a brat.” Like water off a duck’s back, the insult runs right off of you as you clap your hands together. “Now, come on. Don’t want to be late to Price’s meeting.” Ghost pushes himself off the wall as you shuffle your scattered papers into organized piles to look through later. Soap leans back, taking a few quiet steps back from the door as you and Ghost start to leave the infirmary. 

“Hold on, one sec.” Soap pauses as he hears your hurried footsteps, looking back to your reflection in the glass. Eyes widening, his jaw drops as he watches Ghost let you grab his arm and push yourself up onto your toes to place a quick kiss to the cheekbone of the larger man’s plated skull mask. “Thank you,” you speak softly, taking a couple small steps back. 

Soap doesn’t have time to process as you and Ghost step out of the infirmary, immediately spotting him as he stands dumbly in the hallway. 

“Hey Soap! You heading to Price’s office, too?” Soap blinks, shaking off the shock and giving you a quick nod. 

“Yeah, I was just about to come get the two of you.”

“Let’s go, then,” Ghost says, turning and walking away without waiting for you or Soap. You fall in step behind him almost instantly, waving Soap over. Soap glances between the two of you as he follows. He knew the two of you weren’t strangers. He’d even speculated you might’ve been friends, but he’d never imagined you might’ve been something more. He wants to know more, but also gets the sneaking suspicion that this isn’t something he should be prying into. Ghost has always been a private man. 

Either way, he has no time to think on it further as the three of you enter Price’s office. 

-

The second time, he’s in far too much pain and far too tired to really remember if it actually happened. 

Despite everything, the mission had been a success, though the cost had almost been too much. Your team of seven has two unconscious, three severely injured, and the rest sporting a variety of bullet grazes and knife wounds. None dead, thanks to your quick thinking and efficient work. It’s late and the team’s holed up in an old safehouse overnight waiting for evac. Soap is sat up against the far wall, watching you with drooping eyes as you flit around the safehouse, tending to everyone’s wounds. He had been fortunate enough to only have a few minor wounds, but the adrenaline of the fight is fading fast and the comedown is hitting hard. 

Ghost is on watch and is the last person you check on, at his own insistence and much to your annoyance. He bats you away from any of the minor cuts and bruises, so you pull up a chair next to his and focus on the deep gash running across his right forearm. Through his sleep-hazed gaze, Soap watches you expertly stitch Ghost’s arm. He can hear the two of you mumbling to each other, but doesn’t have the energy to try and decipher your words. Once you’ve finished wrapping Ghost’s arm, you glance around at the others. 

You must assume everyone is asleep by the way you deflate, running a tired hand down your face and stretching your neck with a grimace. You scoot your chair closer to Ghost’s, shutting your eyes and letting your head fall against his armored shoulder. To Soap’s surprise and not to yours, Ghost makes no move to push you away, instead shifting so your head’s not at such an awkward angle and settling into his own chair. Soap can feel his curiosity creeping up, but sleep wins out in the end and he passes out not long after. 

When he wakes, Ghost is in the same spot, but you’re curled up in a beaten up arm chair across the room still asleep. 

When evac finally arrives, everyone is awake, and you and Ghost hardly acknowledge each other as he briefs Price over comms and you help load wounded into the helicopter.

-

The third time, he’s sneaking through the rain and blood-soaked streets of Las Almas, Ghost guiding him through his ear as he makes his way to the church. 

He knows he should’ve seen it coming, but Graves’s betrayal stings nonetheless. Soap pushes the anger down, instead focusing on reaching the rendezvous point so they can escape and rescue Alejandro. The banter helps, but there’s an edge to Ghost’s voice that Soap understands as worry. 

They haven’t heard from you since you all were separated. 

They both know you can handle yourself, and worrying about it won’t help, so they talk and sort through their situation: what supplies Soap can pick up, how bad tequila tastes, the tactical uses for dog piss. Everything is as fine as it can be while on the run from deadly mercenaries. Until-

“The mask. Take it off.”

“Show my face?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Negative.”

“Are you ugly?”

“Quite the opposite.”

“Can confirm.” Soap nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden sound of your voice. 

“Holy hell, where have you been?”

“Aw, you worried about me, Soap?” The teasing tells him you’re not in too much danger, or are at least somewhere you feel safe, but something in your voice feels…off.

“What’s your status?” Ghost cuts in.

“Managed to get out of the village,” you groan through a deep exhale, and give a haggard laugh, “can’t say the same for the Shadows.”

Ghost gives a quiet hum of praise, but all Soap can hear is the strain in your winded voice. “You alright, Doc? You sound-”

“Dings and scrapes, Soap. I’ll be fine. Meet up with you later.”

“Wh-”

“Don’t worry about it, Johnny,” Ghost sighs, “just focus on getting to the church.” 

“Right,” Soap mutters. He returns his focus back to the mission at hand, rummaging through the drawers in front of him for rope he can wrap around his extra fan blade. 

It hits him just as he spots the reflective shine of a shard of glass on the floor. Can confirm, is what you’d said. Did that mean-

“The Doc’s seen you without the mask.” It comes out as more of a statement than a question. 

“Let’s worry about you, Sergeant.”

-

The fourth time, he lands hard on his feet in the pitch black of Alejandro’s safehouse. Soap has his back turned as Ghost climbs in the window behind him. Luckily for him, as Ghost sees the laser sight aiming right for Soap’s back. 

“Don’t move!” Ghost calls out, before launching a knife into the support beam across the room. Soap whirls around to shine his light at the beam just as someone calls out from behind it.

“¿Quién está ahí?”

Before either he or Ghost can answer, someone else stands and walks around to the front, “About time you two showed up!” Your voice is an instant relief as they both relax while you turn back to let Rodolfo know it’s safe to come out. 

“Either of you injured?” you ask, eyes scanning over Soap as Ghost hops down from the open window and Rudy returns his knife. 

“Nothing major,” Soap assures you, though your eyes linger on the bullet hole in his arm. 

“Found this one trying to climb in through the same window,” Rudy explains, nodding towards you. 

“I almost had it,” you laugh, leaning to the side to put your weight on the beam. They don’t miss the way you wince, and it doesn’t take long to notice your right leg is a deep red from the knee up.

“Your leg-”

“Looks worse than it is.” 

Soap doesn’t believe you, but the subject changes to Graves and he lets it go. The four of you settle around the table as the guys formulate their plan for Alejandro’s prison break. You set your palms atop the table, leaning forward to take as much weight off of your leg as you can so you can focus on the conversation. It doesn’t help much, but it helps enough and soon the plan is concrete enough to take action. While Rudy leads Soap to the weapons locker, you take a seat on a nearby box to check the haphazard bandages you’ve wrapped around your thigh.

“You’re staying here.” Soap glances over as Ghost speaks. You laugh quietly, leaning back on your hands to stare up at the man towering over you.

“Leaving me all by my lonesome?” You sound like you’re complaining, but even from a distance Soap can see the relief in your face. Your teasing does little to soothe the stress radiating from Ghost.

“Just-” Ghost lets out a long sigh before dropping his voice so low, Soap can barely hear his words. “Be careful. Please.” You sit up straight, face suddenly serious as you set a gentle hand on Ghost’s wrist.

“For you? Always.”

“Soap, can you grab the rest of the guns?” Soap snaps back to attention, nodding at Rudy and collecting what guns he can. It takes all of two minutes, and when he turns back, Ghost is sorting through papers and you’ve set to properly bandaging your leg. 

-

By the fifth time something happens, Soap is absolutely sure there’s something between you and the Lieutenant. He notices it everytime the two of you are together: the quiet banter, the dark jokes only the two of you enjoy, the way Ghost always seems to hover near where you’re standing. It isn’t until the 141’s every-so-often night out that his suspicions are confirmed. Gaz and Price stepped away for a round of darts ten minutes ago, and now Soap finds himself sitting alone watching you and Ghost talk at the opposite end of the bar.

“You keep staring like that, and they’re going to notice.” Soap chokes on his drink as Price takes a seat next to him, Gaz snickering as he flops down on Soap’s other side and claps him on the back. 

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir,” Soap coughs out, clearing his throat and looking anywhere but the other end of the bar. Price sees straight through his lie, of course.

“Gaz, why don’t you see if the Doc wants to try a hand at darts?” 

“Sure thing, boss.” Another clap on the back and Gaz is making his way over to you and Ghost. Soap startles as Price leans close and nudges him in the side with his elbow. 

“Keep your eyes on him,” Price whispers, and leans away to sip at his own glass. Soap takes another drink, sneakily glancing up just as Gaz reaches you and Ghost. You smile widely at him, nodding when he gestures towards the darts board. You turn and say something to Ghost before standing from the bar and following after Gaz to the other side of the room. Ghost’s eyes follow you the entire way, never once leaving your form.

“Watches like a hawk, that one,” Price hums, “and I thought he’d be better at subtlety.” Soap turns to his Captain, brows furrowed in confusion. 

“You-” Price shushes him, and nods back towards Ghost. Soap looks back, and they watch as Ghost sets down his empty glass, stands, then makes his way over to you and Gaz. He posts up, leaning against the wall closest to you where you can easily smile at him every time one of your throws lands. 

“Like a lost puppy,” Price laughs.

“What’s the situation there?” Soap asks, glancing back at Price, but all Price can offer is a lazy shrug. 

“Don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s been happening for a long time.”

-

“Alright, just got a couple papers for you to sign and you should be good to go,” you smile, gently turning Soap’s head to examine the area you’ve just pulled his stitches from. 

“Thanks, Doc. ‘Preciate it.” You give a playfully dismissive wave, disappearing behind the dividing curtain. 

“I’ll be right back!” you call and Soap nods, more to himself than you. He glances around at his sterile surroundings, eyes bouncing from the white walls to the white floor to the white bedsheets. The overbed table sits just next to him, though this time there’s no mess of papers scattered atop it. Instead, there sits a single file and after twenty seconds of solid boredom, Soap can’t help himself. 

Lifting from the bottom corner of the file, Soap nearly drops it as he sees your picture clipped to a pile of papers. He looks behind him, pulling the curtain just enough to peer through. He spots you on the far side of the infirmary, waiting patiently at the printer. Letting the curtain fall, he quickly turns back to your file. He flips it open, picking up the paper with your photo attached. It’s an older picture, maybe from three or four years ago, but your smile is still as wide as ever. 

Flipping the picture up reveals almost two entire pages of solid black lines. There’s more redacted information here than Soap has ever seen. Soap skims through what few sentences are available, every so often catching things like SIS and specialty interrogation tactics and a slew of words he never would’ve associated with your cheerful demeanor. He gets to the final page that appears to be a printed copy of the photo and his heart nearly stops as he reads the name written at the bottom and everything clicks together in his head.

Your last name is Riley.