#this is different to Jewish culture where the new day starts at sundown of the previous day - e.g. Sabbath beginning on Friday evening

[ruindunburnit]

After all of my griping about the Vampyre Calendar of Celebrations in The Fledgling Handbook, I pulled together a little calendar (or "Wheel of the Year") to show some celebrations they would actually have and how they celebrate them.

There's absolutely room to add more or remove some, so let me know what you think!

[bailey-writes]

So You Want Your OC to be Jewish

So you’re writing a story and you want to make a Jewish character—great! I’m here to help. I always want more Jewish representation but I want good Jewish representation, so this is my attempt to make a guide to making a Jewish character. What are my credentials? I’m Jewish and have been my whole life. Obligatory disclaimer that this is by no means comprehensive, I don’t know everything, all Jews are different, and this is based on my experiences as an American Jew so I have no idea, what, if any, of this applies to non-American Jews. 

If there’s anything you want me to make a post going more into detail about or if there’s anything I didn’t mention but you want to know please ask me! I hope this is helpful :) Warning, this is long.

Jew PSA

If you are Jewish you can use the word Jew(s), e.g. “She’s dating a Jew.” If you are not Jewish you cannot use the word Jew(s). This is not up for debate. Non-Jews calling us Jews has a negative connotation at best. Don’t do it and don’t have your characters do it.

Basics, Plus My Random Thoughts that Didn’t Fit Anywhere Else

A confusing enduring issue is, what is Judaism? It’s a religion, but some Jews aren’t religious; is it a race? A nationality? A culture? A heritage? The only constant is that we are seen as “other.” There’s a lot of debate, which makes it confusing to be Jewish and as such it’s common for Jews to struggle with their Jewish Identity. However many people agree that Jews are an ethnoreligious group, aka Judaism is a religion and an ethnicity.

Temple/Synagogue/Shul = Jewish place of worship. Shul is usually used for Orthodox synagogues.

Keeping kosher = following Jewish dietary rules: meat and dairy can’t be eaten together and you can’t eat pork or shellfish. Fish and eggs are pareve (aka neutral) and can be eaten with meat or dairy (but again not both at the same time.) When eating meat it has to be kosher meat (e.g. kosher Jews are allowed to eat chicken, but not all chicken is kosher. I know it’s kinda confusing I’m sorry.) Kosher products in stores will have symbols on them to identify them as kosher. If someone is kosher they’ll probably have separate sets of utensils/plates/cookware/etc. for meat and dairy

Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath = holy day of the week, day of rest, lasts from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Depending on observance Jews might have Shabbat dinner, attend Shabbat services, or observe the day of rest in its entirety (making them shomer Shabbat)

Someone who is shomer Shabbat will refrain from any of the prohibited activities. These can easily be looked up but include: working, writing, handling money, cooking, and using technology.

Bat/Bar/B’nai Mitvzah = tradition where a Jewish boy/girl becomes a man/woman. Celebrated at 13-years-old for boys, 12- or 13-years-old for girls. Girls have Bat Mitzvahs (bat means daughter in Hebrew), boys have Bar Mitzvahs (bar means son in Hebrew) and twins or two or more people having one together have a B’nai Mitzvah. They will study for this for months and then help lead services and, depending on observance level, read from the Torah. The ceremony is often attended by family and friends and followed with a celebration of sorts (in America usually this means a brunch and/or party.)

Goy/gentile = non-Jew. These words are not slurs, they are literally just words. Plural of goy is goyim and is a Yiddish word, plural of gentile is gentiles.

Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar, meaning that according to the current solar/Gregorian calendar the dates of our holidays are different each year.

Jewish law recognizes matrilineal inheritance. This means that Jewish law states your mother has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish. This is because of reasons from biblical times that I can explain if you wanna come ask, but as you can imagine is a bit outdated. While Orthodox Jews might embrace this idea and only consider someone Jewish if their mom is Jewish, many Jews are more flexible on the idea (and yes, this does cause tension between Orthodox Jews and other Jews at times.)

Judaism =/= Christianity

Some people think Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus (some people don’t even realize we don’t believe in/celebrate Jesus so newsflash, we don’t) and that’s just wrong. Yes both religions share the Old Testament, so they also share some history and beliefs, but the entire ideologies of the religions are different. In brief, they are similar in some ways but are not the same.

What seems to me to be the biggest difference is that Christianity (from what I understand) has a heavy focus on sins, more specifically repenting for/gaining forgiveness for your sins. In Christianity you are born tainted by original sin. In Judaism we believe everyone is born pure and free from sin and everyone is made in God’s image. Judaism has some concept of sin, but doesn’t focus on them and instead focuses on performing Mitzvot (plural, singular form is mitzvah. Direct translation is “commandment” but basically means good deed or act of kindness. It also relates to the commandments, so following the commandments is also performing mitzvot.) Examples of mitzvot include anything from saying a prayer or lighting Shabbat candles to helping a stranger or donating to charity (called tzedakah). One of the main tenets of Judaism is tikkun olam, which directly translates to “repair the world” and means exactly what it says on the tin. Instead of focusing on being forgiven for doing bad Judaism focuses on doing good. The only day we focus on past wrongdoings is Yom Kippur, one of our most holy holidays, discussed below.

Holidays

Rosh Hashanah – The Jewish New Year, occurs around September and lasts for two days, though Reform Jews often only celebrate the first day. Day of happiness and joy, celebrated by eating sweet things for a “sweet new year” (often apples dipped in honey) and circular challah to represent the end of one year and beginning of another. Also celebrated with services and blowing the shofar (rams horn.) Some spend the day in prayer and/or silent meditation. Possible greetings: chag sameach (happy holiday; can be said on almost any holiday), Shana Tovah, or happy new year (which is what Shana Tovah means, some people just say it in English.)

Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement. Occurs ten days after the start of Rosh Hashanah. One of if not the most solemn day for Jews, but also the most holy. The day is spent reflecting on yourself and any past wrongdoings and atoning. The day (sundown the night before to sundown the day of) is spent fasting, a physical way of atoning. We do this in hopes of being “written in the Book of Life” and starting the year with a clean slate. The shofar is blown at the end of the holiday. Most Jews will end the fast with a grand meal with family and friends. Most common greeting is “have an easy fast,” but happy new year is still appropriate.

Sukkot – Celebrates the harvest, occurs on the fifth day after Yom Kippur and lasts seven days. Celebrated by building a temporary hut outdoors called a sukkah and having meals inside it, as well as shaking palm fronds tied together (called a lulav) and holding a citrus called an etrog. Very fun and festive holiday. Possible greetings include chag sameach or Happy Sukkot.

Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah – Some Jews (mostly Reform Jews and Jews living in Israel) combine both holidays into one day while some celebrate them as two separate days. Either way they occur immediately after Sukkot. Shemini Atzeret is similar but separate from Sukkot and features a prayer for rain; Sukkot is not mentioned in prayers and the lulav isn’t shaken but you do eat in the sukkah. Simchat Torah celebrates finishing reading the Torah, which we will then begin again the next day. It’s a festive holiday with dancing and fun. Some Temples will roll the entire Torah out and the children will run under it. Appropriate greeting for both would be chag sameach.

Rosh Hashanah through Simchat Torah are referred to as the High Holidays.

Chanukah – We all know about Chanukah, celebrating the reclaiming of the Second Temple and the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The most represented Jewish Holiday there is. Unfortunately it’s one of the least significant holidays for us. Occurs around November or December and lasts eight days and nights. Celebrated by lighting candles in the Menorah each night with a prayer and kids usually get gifts each night. Also celebrated with spinning tops called dreidels, fried foods like doughnuts (sufganiyot in Hebrew; usually the jelly filled ones) and potato pancakes called latkes. Greetings: happy Chanukah or chag sameach.

Tu B’Shevat – Birthday of the trees, basically Jewish Arbor Day. Minor but fun holiday, sometimes celebrated by planting trees. Occurs around January or February.

Purim – Celebrates how Queen Esther of Persia defeated Haman and saved her people, the Jews. Occurs in Spring. Festive holiday traditionally celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating sweets, and giving tzedakah (it’s also technically commanded you get drunk so woohoo!) Whenever Haman’s name is mentioned you make a lot of noise, booing and using noisemakers called groggers. Greetings: happy Purim, chag Purim, or chag sameach.

Passover/Pesach – Celebrates the Jews being freed from slavery in Egypt. Occurs in Spring and lasts eight days. The first two nights (some only celebrate the first night) are celebrated with seder, a ritual meal with certain foods, practices, prayers, and readings from a book called the Haggadah and often attended by family and friends. Most famous prayer/song of the holiday is the four questions, which ask why that night is different from all other nights and is traditionally sung by the youngest child at the seder. The entire holiday is spent not eating certain foods, mostly grain or flour (the food restrictions are complicated and differ based on denomination so look it up or ask a Jew.) We eat a lot of matzah during Pesach, which is like a cracker kinda. I personally hate it but some people actually like it. Greetings: happy Passover, chag pesach, or chag sameach.

Tisha B’Av – Anniversary of the destruction of the Temple. Occurs in Summer. Very sad, solemn day. Some celebrate by fasting from sunrise to sunset. Not the most widely celebrated holiday. Some also commemorate the Holocaust (also called the Shoah) on this day as it was the destruction of a figurative temple.

Denominations

There are a bunch of denominations in Judaism, we’ll go into it briefly.

Religious denominations:

Reform/Reformed: This is the least religiously observant level. Often Reform Jews don’t keep kosher or observe Shabbat, their services on Shabbat will use instruments. Reform Jews probably attend services for the high holidays at the very least and probably had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Might say they consider themselves more culturally Jewish. Their Temple/Synagogue will be the most “liberal”—aka have more female/diverse Rabbis and a more diverse congregation. I’m Reform and my Temple’s lead Rabbi is a woman and we used to have a Rabbi who’s a queer single mother.

Conservative: More religiously observant and more generally traditional. Might keep kosher or observe Shabbat, but not necessarily. Services likely won’t use instruments (not supposed to play instruments on Shabbat). Most likely had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, but girls might not read from the Torah, though this depends on the congregation. They do allow female Rabbis, but in my experience it’s less common.

Modern Orthodox: Very religiously observant but also embrace modern society. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot (singular=kippah) and tzitzit under their shirts. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married), most likely with a wig, and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Parents will likely have jobs. Might have larger families (aka more children) but might not. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and female Rabbis are very rare. Children will most likely attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

note: there are some people who fall somewhere between modern Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox, or between any two denominations really. as you can imagine people don’t all practice the exact same way.

Ultra-Orthodox: Very religiously observant and not necessarily modern. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot or other head coverings and tzitzit under their shirts, and are also often seen wearing suits. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married) with a wig or scarf and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Men might have jobs but might instead focus on Jewish studies, while women most often focus on housework and child-rearing. Don’t believe in contraception (but this is kinda nuanced and depends). Will often have very large families because having children is a commandment and helps continue the Jewish people. Might be shomer negiah which means not touching members of the opposite sex aside from their spouse and some close family members. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and there won’t be female Rabbis. Children will attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

Ethnic denominations (the different denominations do have some differences in practices and such but tbh I don’t know much about that so this is just the basics):

Ashkenazi: Jews that originate from Central/Eastern Europe. Yiddish, a combination of Hebrew and German, originated from and was spoken by Ashkenazim and while it’s a dying language it’s spoken among many Orthodox Jews and many Jews of all levels know/speak some Yiddish words and phrases. Majority of Jews worldwide are Ashkenazi.

Sephardi/Sephardic: Jews that originate from the Iberian Peninsula, North Africa, and southeastern Europe. Ladino, a combination of Old Spanish and Hebrew, originated from and was spoken by Sephardim. It is also a dying language but is still spoken by some Sephardim. After Ashkenazi most of the world’s Jews are Sephardic.

Mizrahi: Jews that originate from the Middle East and North Africa.

Ethiopian Jews: Community of Jews that lived in Ethiopia for over 1,000 years, though most have immigrated to Israel by now.

Stereotypes/Tropes/Controversies/Etc.

There are so many Jewish stereotypes and shit and I ask you to please be mindful of them. Stereotypes do exist for a reason, so some people will fit stereotypes. This means your character might fit one or two; don’t make them fit all of them. Please. Stereotypes to keep in mind (and steer away from) include:

All Jews are rich.

All Jews are greedy.

All Jews are cheap/frugal.

All Jews are [insert job here]. We’ll go into this more below.

All Jews hate Christians/Muslims/etc.

All Jews are white. 

First of all Ethiopian and Mizrahi Jews exist, many Sephardi are Hispanic, and today with intermarriage and everything this just isn’t true.

All Jews have the same physical features: large and/or hooked nose, beady eyes, droopy eyelids, red hair (this is an old stereotype I didn’t really know existed), curly hair.

Many Jews do have somewhat large noses and curly hair. I’m not saying you can’t give these features to your characters, but I am saying to be careful and don’t go overboard. And don’t give all of your Jewish characters these features. As a side note, it is common at least among American Jews that girls get nose jobs. Not all, but some.

Jews are secretly world elite/control the world/are lizard people/new world order/ any of this stuff. 

STAY AWAY FROM. DO NOT DO THIS OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS. If you have a character that’s part lizard, do not make them Jewish. If you have a character that’s part of a secret group that controls the entire world, do not make them Jewish.

Jews have horns. If you have characters with horns please don’t make them Jewish.

Jews killed Jesus.

The blood libel. Ew. No.

The blood libel is an antisemitic accusation/idea/concept that back in the day Jews would murder Christian children to use their blood in religious rituals and sometimes even for consumption (did I mention gross?) Not only did this just not happen, but it’s actually against Jewish law to murder, sacrifice, or consume blood. Yes these accusations really happened and it became a main reason for persecution of Jews. And some people still believe this shit.

Jews caused The Plague.

The reason this conspiracy exists is because many Jews didn’t get The Plague and the goyim thought that meant it was because the Jews caused it/cursed them. The real reason Jews didn’t get it is because ritual hand-washing and good hygiene kept them from getting it. Sorry that we bathe.

Jewish mother stereotype.

Ok, listen. I know stereotypes are mostly a bad thing but I have to admit the Jewish mother stereotype is not far off. Jewish moms do tend to be chatty and a little nagging, are often very involved in their children’s lives, and they are often trying to feed everyone (although they don’t all cook, my mom hates cooking.) They also tend to be big worriers, mostly worrying about their family/loved ones. They also tend to know everyone somehow. A twenty minute trip to the grocery store can turn into an hour or two long trip because she’ll chat with all the people she runs into.

Jewish-American Princess (JAP) ((I know calling Japanese people Japs is offensive. Jews will call girls JAPs, but with a completely different meaning. If that’s still offensive I am sorry, but just know it happens.))

This is the stereotype that portrays Jewish girls/women as spoiled brats basically. They will be pampered and materialistic. Do these girls exist? Definitely. I still recommend steering away from this stereotype.

Names

Listen. Listen. There are some names that Jews just won’t have. I won’t speak in definites because there are always exceptions but you’ll rarely find a Jew named Trinity or Grace or Faith or any form of Chris/Christopher/Christina etc. Biblical names from the Old Testament? Absolutely Jews will have those names they’re actually very common.

I’m in a Jewish Sorority. My pledge class of ~70 girls had five Rebeccas and four Sarahs. Surprisingly only one Rachel though.

When it comes to last names I have two thoughts that might seem contradictory but hear me out: a) give your Jewish OC’s Jewish surnames, b) don’t give your Jewish OC’s the most Jewish surname to ever exist.

By this I mean I would much rather see a character named Sarah Cohen or Aaron Levine than Rachel Smith. Just that little bit of recognition makes a happy exclamation point appear over my head, plus it can be a good way to hint to readers that your OC is Jewish.

On the other hand, please don’t use the most stereotypical Jewish names you’ve ever heard. If you have five Jewish OCs and one of them is Isaac Goldstein then fine. If Isaac Goldstein is your only Jewish OC I might get a little peeved. There are tons of common Jewish surnames that are recognizable and easy to look up, so don’t revert to the first three that come to mind. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it yucky, for lack of a better word.

Jobs

We all know there are certain jobs that are stereotypical for Jews to have. We’re talking lawyer, dentist, doctor, banker type stuff. To an extent these stereotypes exist for a reason, many Jews go into those careers. Do not make these the only careers your Jewish OCs have. Stereotypes might have reasoning behind them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful. If you have multiple Jewish OCs some of them can have these careers, but not all of them. I do know a lot of Jewish lawyers, dentists, and doctors. I also know accountants, people involved in businesses (“mom, what does Brad do?” “he’s a businessman” sometimes there just aren’t more specific words), people involved in real estate. I don’t actually know any bankers personally, and with money and stuff being one of the most common and harmful Jewish stereotypes I would suggest steering away from that.

These are common fields for Jews, but Jews can have literally any job. Please feel free to get creative. And if you have more than one Jewish OC you can think about making one of them a Rabbi, but DON’T do this if they’re the only Jewish OC. Please.

Yiddish

So I mentioned Yiddish earlier. Like I already said, it’s not a very widely used language anymore but there are some words and phrases that are still used by a lot of Jews (in America at least.) Here’s a list that is absolutely not comprehensive:

Oy vey = oh no

Shvitzing = sweating (but not just a little bit. Shvitzing is like SWEATING)

Kvetch/kvetching = whine/whining or complain/complaining

Mazel tov = congratulations; this is the same in Yiddish and Hebrew

Chutzpah = nerve or gall (e.g. “He’s got a lot of chutzpah for breaking up over text like that”)

Kismet = fate; I just learned this is Yiddish

Bubbe and Zayde = grandma and grandpa

Schelp/schlepping = drag/dragging, can also mean carry or move (e.g. “I had to schlep the bag all around town” doesn’t mean they literally dragged it)

Schmutz = dirt or something dirty (e.g. “you have schmutz on your face”)

Schmatta = literally means rag but can be used to refer to ratty blankets or clothes

Plotz = collapse (usually used in the sense of “I’m so tired I might plotz” or “she’s gonna be so excited she’s gonna plotz”)

Schmuck/shmendrick = both mean more or less the same, a jerk or obnoxious person

Shtick = gimmick, routine, or act (can be used like (“I don’t like that comedian’s shtick” or “he always makes himself the center of attention it’s his shtick”)

Spiel = long speech, story, or rant

There’s so many more so look them up and think about using them, but don’t overdo it. A Jewish person isn’t gonna use a Yiddish word in every sentence (or even every day or every few days.)

Israel

In my community at least it’s very common that by the time your college-aged that you’ll have been to Israel at least once.

Israel is a controversial topic within the Jewish community and in the world. It’s sensitive and complex. I really, really suggest not getting into it. Just don’t bring it up because no matter what you say someone will be unhappy. Just don’t do it.

Ashkenazi Disorders

Ashkenazi Jews have some sucky genes (I’m Ashkenazi so I can say this, you cannot.) These sucky genes cause certain disorders to be more prevalent for us. Children only get the disorder if both parents are carriers of the disorder, so Jews usually get genetic testing done before having children. If both parents are carriers the risk of the child getting the disorder is high, so parents might reconsider or have some indecisiveness/fear. Some of these are:

Tay-Sachs

Cystic Fibrosis

Canavan Disease

Familial Dysautonomia

Gaucher Disease

Spinal Muscular Atrophy  

Fanconi Anemia

Mucolipidosis IV

Niemann-Pick Disease

Torsion Dystonia

Bloom Syndrome

Ashkenazi Jews also have a high prevalence of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer in women and increase the risk of breast and prostate cancer in men.

Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lactose Intolerance are also very prevalent

In a dorm of like 40 Jews, six of them had Crohn’s.

Ways to Show Your OC is Jewish

Wears Jewish jewelry, e.g. Star of David (also called Jewish Star and Magen David), Chai symbol (means life), jewelry with Sh’ma prayer, or hamsa (but beware this symbol is used outside of Judaism).

Mentions their temple, their Rabbi, having a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, going to Hebrew School, Shabbat, or a holiday coming up.

Have someone ask them a question about Judaism.

Have someone notice they have a mezuzah on their door. 

Most Jews will have a mezuzah on the doorframe of the front door of their house/apartment, but they could even have one for their dorm room or whatever. It’s traditional to kiss your hand then touch the mezuzah when walking through the door, but most Jews don’t do this every time, at least not most Reform or Conservative Jews.

Have them call out antisemitism if you’re feeling spicy

The end! I hope this helped and if you have any questions my ask box is always open!

[team-zoey-has-two-hands]

writing max richman as jewish: a beginner’s guide

hey y’all! as a jewish person, i haven’t really seen much content in this small but still growing fandom we have that depicts max as jewish other than an offhand mention, and while that’s also essentially what we have in canon, i thought it would be nice for goyim (non jewish individuals) to know how to write him in accordance to judaism.

let’s begin!

a bit about denominations

there are multiple branches of judaism, just like christianity. the most notable branches include:

orthodox (traditional judaism, these are your people going by the old law and believe that old laws hold true and don’t change)

reform judaism (your people that believe that judaism Has to change and evolve with the times)

there are other branches such as conservative and reconstructionist that are kind of in the middle of these two, but reform and orthodox are definitely the largest and they’re essentially the furthest to each ‘side’ of judaism (conservative errs a bit more to the orthodox side, and reconstructionist to the reform side).

the creator of the show, austin winsberg, grew up a reform jew, so one could assume that max, too, is reform.

one more thing about denominations: messianic judaism is NOT a form of judaism. messianic judaism is both a way to forcibly convert jews to christianity and for goys to appropriate our culture by slapping jesus on our culture and holidays with little care or kindness. do NOT have max as a messianic jew, and remember that they are NOT actual jews.

a bit about holidays

hanukkah (also spelled chanukah) is not, contrary to popular belief by goyim, the largest and most important jewish holiday. basically, it is not jewish christmas, nothing is jewish christmas. hanukkah is actually a rather small holiday in the grand scheme of things. do NOT, however, make max celebrate christmas, no matter how small hanukkah actually is. he and zoey can have joint hanukkah & christmas celebrations if they want, but under no circumstances does he celebrate christmas.

the largest and most important jewish holidays are the high holidays, rosh hashanah and yom kippur . rosh hashanah is the jewish new year (judaism has a different calendar, at the time of writing this in july 2020 it’s 5780, but jewish people use the secular calendar. the jewish calendar is used mostly for ceremonial purposes, such as determining holidays, torah portions, and the like). yom kippur is the holiest day of the year, and it’s when jewish people atone for their sins in the old year and start fresh for the new year.

the high holidays fall usually in september, and last three days. most jewish people, even those who don’t usually go to temple, will go to temple for these holidays. a thing you’ll see jewish people doing on these holidays is tashlikh, where we symbolically cast away our sins by throwing bread crumbs or rice into a body of water, which is a thing max could mention doing. another thing is that yom kippur is a day with a 25 hour fast, usually spent almost entirely in temple (yes, the entire day). after the fast, there’s a huge feast.

every saturday is shabbat, which is technically jewish sabbath, but it takes place from sundown friday to sundown Saturday. while christians can use electricity and even work on the sabbath, there are a whole list of things that you are not supposed to do on shabbat that qualify as working (called the 39 melachot), including using electricity and cooking. however, some modern jews have made allowances for using cars to get to shabbat services, since many people do not live within walking distance of a temple.

max says that he goes to temple, but we can probably assume that he’s not the most hardcore practicing jew, and you do not have to say that he’s not doing anything on saturday because of shabbat. many jews do not observe shabbat due to practical reasons, because we live in a secular world, where once it was very easy to practice shabbat, it is not now. many events in america are scheduled on saturday for christians who go to church on sunday, so keep that in mind.

another jewish holiday, passover, has a tradition of a ritual feast, called a seder, max could specifically invite zoey to his family’s seder. for more info on seders & other jewish holidays you’d like me to talk on, send me an ask!

a word on stereotypes

there is no law saying that you cannot portray a jewish character as a stereotype. but that doesn’t mean you won’t hurt people by doing that, especially if it’s a particularly harmful stereotype.

if your jewish character is dirty rich and horribly greedy with money and has no redeeming traits, that is not okay. that doesn’t mean that your jewish character cannot be rich. the DIFFERENCE is that you need to not portray things in a harmful way. so that greedy jew could be rich, but it would mean a lot, if you are a goy writing a jew, not making the character greedy. if your character HAS to be greedy and HAS to be jewish, something is wrong.

you can give max a jewish mother as a goy if you don’t go too over the top with it (take pointers from jewish writers, im glad to help you with this, myself), but please don’t give him a JAP sister if you can help it. also, don’t describe any family members as having hooked noses or droopy eyes or, god forbid, horns, and don’t have them constantly saying mazel tov.

something you CAN do: go ahead and use oy vey, if you’d like. you may also say oy vey gevalt, which is an oy vey telling of impending doom, and oy vey ist mir, which is just the non-shortened version of oy vey. it is also a YIDDISH saying, not hebrew, please keep that in mind.

religious texts

the torah is NOT the same thing as the bible. the torah itself only includes the Old Testament, but the torah is not the only bit of religious text.

the jewish bible is known as the tanakh, and it has three parts: the pentateuch (torah), the prophets (nevi'im) and the writings (ketuvim). the torah is the most important piece, however, and torah portions are read at temple every saturday from a priceless torah scroll, usually very old and always very very sacred. the other most important piece of jewish religious texts is the talmud, which is basically a bunch of books interpreting and explaining the tanakh. we love our religious texts so much, that we even have a whole holiday celebrating our religious texts where we take the torah scrolls out of a special case and parade them around with pride.

in conclusion:

if you have Any questions, any questions at all on how to write max (or any other character) as jewish, feel free to dm me or shoot me an ask! i would love to answer your questions, and no question is stupid. this is just the beginner’s guide, judaism is very complex and very rich and honestly amazing, and i do love to talk about it.

[antlerqueer]

ive been thinking a lot about why all my hobbies are reliant on others (i have a hard time writing without someone to write with) and i think it’s because of my depression/trauma.

i’ve never learned to do things for myself - i grew up in a weird home sitch where i just wanted to stay out of the way and make myself perfect so i didn’t bother my parents and then in school people didn’t like me bc i’m annoying and bc i was in a small conservative town and my cultural upbringing was about questioning authority, asking for clarification, etc; and that was the polar opposite of the norm. so i tried to adapt to what others liked and hoped people would just accept me then. i also developed rejection sensitivity dysphoria along with my adhd so that was a fun thing to have while everyone hated me for (at the time i didn’t know but it’s now a bit clearer) being queer, jewish, and neurodivergent. 

by the time i was in high school, i stopped caring about what people in real life thought of me. i switched to a different school district and my brain very genuinely just counts high school as growing up because a lot of my memories of my childhood before then are trauma-blocked. i studied theater, which is obviously very collaborative, at a school that was for the performing arts. collaborative. literally the whole foundation of my teaching was about collaboration. however, i’d been so accustomed to being disliked/my ideas being shit on/etc; that i just sort of followed what other people wanted to do in those collaborations. i had strong opinions, i was defiant, but not without having others’ input. 

it sucks that once i finally got comfortable in myself, and where i was (little over a year ago), i decided to uproot myself. i felt like there was nothing for me in the city i’d spent eight years in (which, to be fair, was true) and that getting out would help. it’s helped in some ways, but i’ve never been more lonely. for six months i worked at a job where my coworkers treated me “better” but were more homogenous than at my job prior. i could tell someone using sp*rit an*mal was offensive at my prior job and be heard and taken seriously, while i was disciplined for it at the new job. i was kept to work long hours and guilted when i tried to leave at a normal time (the eve of yom kippur for example, when yom kippur starts at sundown and i told them i was taking the next day off to observe but was working until sundown, i was asked why i wouldn’t stay later even though my work was done), so i didn’t even get to like.... meet people. or go out. or do anything. i was so exhausted.

so after being fired for a plethora of reasons that boiled down to: we don’t like you. (they were uncomfortable with me calling out the sp*rit an*mal thing more than once, didn’t like that i said christianity was like a riff off judaism in certain ways after they began a conversation about religion [they were talking about those communion wafers, and i brought up the fun fact that it’s bc matzoh was served at the last supper!] and then told me not to talk about religion at work as though I was the one discussing holy communion and catholicism for like 15-30 minutes, and i was also bad at math. which if they’d just said i was fired for being bad at math that would have been fine but the rest was just... frustrating and given much more attention than the actual issue in my work.) 

i spent two months job hunting and it was december/jan, and i really made finding a job my job, and then once i got one.... fucking lockdown started lmao. so i’ve been so fucking alone. and i want to find other things to do but i don’t have friends that answer my texts or validate my ideas or provide reciprocal support. so i come to like... tumblr and lose the only community i had growing up (the internet) because it’s fading away and has been for the past couple of years and now i’m not motivated to do anything.

i used to be able to write. i didn’t need a character, or a plot, or anything. now i need something to latch onto and for someone to tell me it’s fine and makes sense because i feel like that’s the only way people will give a shit. i can’t just write to make myself happy. i can’t do anything just to make myself happy and while it’s cool that i’m having this realization it’s not cool that this realization is coming when i can’t leave my apartment or make new friends or try something new.

thx for coming to my ted talk.

[johnhardinsawyer]

Any Given Sunday

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

6 / 3 / 18

Mark 2:23-3:6

“Any Given Sunday”

(Working for/on the Weekend)

Every Friday at 5 PM when I was growing up, the local classic rock station would play a special mash-up of songs to mark the end of the work week.  From “I Don’t Want to Work” by Todd Rundgren to “Take this Job and Shove It” by Johnny Paycheck, they really played up the idea that the five o’ clock whistle had blown and the weekend was now beginning.  All of this was usually followed up by a rendition of the 1981 classic, “Working for the Weekend,” by everybody’s favorite band, Loverboy.

Everybody’s working for the weekend,

Everybody wants a little romance,

Everybody’s going off the deep end

Everybody needs a second chance

You want a piece of my heart

You better start from the start. . .[1]

Oh, what great poetry!  Anyway, you get the idea – the weekend is a time for fun, parties, romance, and relaxation.  And everybody loves the feeling you get when you can leave your job – and all of the responsibilities that come with it – behind you for just a couple of days.  It is good to celebrate the Sabbath!

If you ever go to the Western Wall in Jerusalem –  the holiest site in all of Judaism – at sundown on a Friday evening, there is this undercurrent of excitement and energy.  As the sun goes down, marking the start of the Jewish Sabbath, groups of young men will form circles and start to chant and sing and dance.  Soldiers will put down their guns and dance, too. People embrace one another, families join together and then everyone goes off to enjoy their Shabbat dinners. Everyone has been working for the weekend and everything that follows is a gift from God and God is so good.

One of the things you often hear about the Sabbath is that on this one day of the week you should not do any work.  Many of our Jewish cousins in faith have been and continue to be fairly strict about this rule.  They get this from the Ten Commandments in the Book of Exodus:

Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy.  Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work – you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them, but rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it.  (Exodus 20:8-11)

Everyone is supposed to rest on the Sabbath  because the Sabbath was – and is – a gift from God. Somewhere along the line, though, people started taking this commandment to rest on the Sabbath so seriously that it grew to have a “Rest. . . or else!” kind of feeling to it.  Some of you might remember that stores and restaurants used to be closed on Sundays. Some of you might not have been able to go outside and play as children on the Sabbath.  At the time, these restrictions might have seemed onerous, but they weren’t as strict as they could have been, because in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers, if you violate the Sabbath on purpose, you are subject to the death penalty.[2]  Ouch!

So, in today’s reading from the Gospel of Mark, when Jesus’ disciples are hungry and pluck some grain on the Sabbath to eat and Jesus then heals a man in the local synagogue on the Sabbath, it doesn’t just raise some eyebrows, it actually causes the Pharisees and the Herodians to start plotting Jesus’ death.

When Jesus is accused of the crime of Sabbath-breaking, he has several curious responses.  First, he counters the Pharisees’ scriptural argument[3]about plucking grain on the Sabbath with a story from scripture:  “Do you remember our ancestor David when he was on the run from King Saul?” Jesus asked. “David was very hungry and the only bread that was available was designated as holy bread.  He should not have eaten it,[4]but he did.  If David was excused out of necessity[5]because he was hungry, then why are my friends in trouble for plucking grain and eating it?”[6]  Then Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made for humankind, and not humankind for the Sabbath.” In other words, “The Sabbath was made to be a gift for us.  we aren’t supposed to be slaves to the Sabbath.”  Pastor and author Wayne Muller writes, “[teachings like this] clearly warn against the tendency toward legalism, which suffocates our joy, and drains the spontaneity and passion out of this gratuitous day of delight.”[7]

The Pharisees were clearly not delighted with Jesus’ words, and they really got riled up by what he did next.  There was a man in the local synagogue who had a withered hand. In the original language, the hand was “dried up, damaged,” and possibly “paralyzed.”[8]  We don’t know if the man had been born like this or if it had happened to him along the way.  All that we know is that, for the Pharisees, it was important that people who were blind or lame, or had deformities and other handicaps were not allowed to draw close to God to make offerings.[9]  They were not whole people, religiously speaking, and therefore were considered to be less than everyone else.

The Pharisees had reasons for feeling the way they did.  They had the ancient laws of Moses backing them up.  But anyone can use scripture to back up just about any side of an argument. In contrast to the commandment regarding handicapped people, there is a wonderful story of King David welcoming the grandson of a former enemy and showing kindness to the boy after the boy was paralyzed.  He gave the boy – Mephibosheth was his name – land and titles and hosted him at the King’s table.[10]

It is good to follow the rules, but, according to Jesus, it is also good to be merciful.  And if the rules (or the people enforcing them) aren’t merciful or just, then maybe we need some new rules or a different type of moral framework from which we make decisions.  Jesus provides such a framework.  In today’s story, Jesus calls the man with the withered hand to come closer and he asks the Pharisees,

“What kind of action suits the Sabbath best? Doing good or doing evil?  Helping people or leaving them helpless?”  No one said a word.  Jesus looked them in the eye, one after another, angry now, furious at their hard-nosed religion.[11]

We don’t have to wonder about whether Jesus ever got angry, or not.  The Bible tells us of the time when he angrily ran the money-changers out of the Temple – people who were dishonestly enriching themselves, robbing faithful folks of their hard-earned money.[12]  And, in today’s story, Jesus gets angry when faithful people are hard-hearted and not merciful or hospitable to someone who is clearly in need of mercy and hospitality.

Of course, Jesus heals the man, making the withered hand as good as new, doing the work of grace – even on the Sabbath.  Because if the Sabbath is about anything at all, it is about grace – resting in God’s grace, remembering God’s grace, giving thanks for God’s grace, dwelling in God’s grace, sharing God’s grace.  The Sabbath is supposed to be a day of healing and wholeness, a day of restoration, a day of peace, a day of joy.  And, for Jesus, if a little work has to be done on the Sabbath to make these things a reality, not just for himself, but for everyone, then maybe that’s okay.

There are some who might use today’s story to justify working on the Sabbath – “If Jesus did it, then so can I” – but this is not the point of the story.  We live in a culture where work has a way of sneaking into our Sabbath.  99% of the time, this “work” that we do is not an emergency or even necessary and has nothing to do with God or God’s kingdom. Our human work can wait a day.  But mercy and grace cannot wait a day.  And there are those in need of kindness and welcome and healing and wholeness and human decency who have been waiting and waiting for just a glimpse of empathy and acceptance and there is no time like the present to offer this grace – especially here at church.  When it comes to God’s grace, no one should be turned away.

This is one of the reasons why we gather around this Table – to share God’s grace – and it is one of the reasons why we proclaim that all are welcome here.  Putting God’s welcome into practice is a wonderful way of practicing Sabbath.  Sabbath is not supposed to be a selfish act.  Remember the commandment is for “. . .you, your son [and] your daughter, your male [and] female slave, your livestock, the alien resident in your town. . .”  Normally, we might feel that the weekend is just for us.  But scripture reminds us that it is for everyone.  Many people work so hard during the week and it is good to be reminded to rest.  But some people guard their Sabbath so well – especially in the summertime – that they feel they need to take a vacation from church, too.  It is important to remember that Jesus did not work his Sabbath miracle alone, or in a vacuum, or with just his close family at the lake.  He did it in public – in community with others.  He did it by acknowledging the needs of people – their need to be fed, their need to be healed, their need for some kind of wholeness.  Regular public worship reminds us of this and gets us in the rhythm of practicing Sabbath. And, while it might be good for us to get away from time to time, the life we live every day is lived in the midst of people who have the same needs we do.  If Sabbath rest can ready us to meet those needs and share God’s grace, then this is good.  And, when those needs arise and we can meet them – even on the Sabbath – then it is good to follow the example of Jesus.

Being able to share in God’s grace is a gift – each and every day.  And when it comes to the work of sharing this grace, God is not just working for the weekend. God is always at work making us whole. This is a gift – for us, for you and for me – for all people.  May we share this gift every day.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

--------- 

[1]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc.

[2]See Exodus 31:14-15, Leviticus 24:10-23, and Numbers 15:32-36.

[3]See Exodus 34:21.

[4]See Exodus 29:33.

[5]John Calvin, Calvin’s Commentaries – Vol. XVI.ii(Grand Rapids:  Baker Books, 2009) 48.

[6]Mark 2:25-26, paraphrased JHS.

[7]Wayne Muller, Sabbath – Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in our Busy Lives(New York: Bantam Books, 1999) 31.

[8]Walter Bauer, A Greek-English Lexicon(Chicago:  University of Chicago Press, 1979) 548.

[9]See Leviticus 21:19 ff.

[10]See 2 Samuel 4 and 2 Samuel 9.

[11]Eugene Peterson, The Message(Colorado Springs:  NAV Press, 2002) 1379-1380.  Mark 3:4-5.

[12]See Matthew 21:12 and John 2:15.