#this is by no means exhaustive and im always following more ppl
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Ik i don't talk abt bnha much anymore (I tend to wait to binge read stuff anyway and do go thru phases of being obsessed then completely ignoring stuff for months to years until I remember I Like It, but admittedly I've lost interest with it a lil bit regardless) but like. I get baffled when ppl lump bnha in with 'crazy fandoms' or whatever. yeah its a big fandom and im SURE theres discourse the likes of which i could never imagine (I am very good at blocking and blacklisting tho lol) but. it was genuinely, for me, one of the MOST positive fandom experiences I've ever had! ppl were always very very nice to me and supportive and I used to get so many nice ppl leaving comments or sending asks, and it actually makes me a lil teary to think abt bc. I am a very shy person tbh! and I always kinda worried the type of content I posted wouldn't be received well, but it was always met with kindness, and even when ppl disagreed with me they'd stay polite and thank me for explaining why and it always stayed very civil? so its hard not for me to look back on it fondly.
like for whatever problems I have w the series or direction its taken my experience was OVERWHELMINGLY positive and idk if thats just because I was firmly in the villains stan camp or what but. very grateful for it idk I'm just rereading old reviews and getting very nostalgic and happy if I could make ppl happy with it bc it made me happy too ;w; ill always be fond of the lov and a lot of the characters anyway. I still care for them very much. whenever bnha ends u guys gotta lmk if they get happy endings bc if not I'll be glad to write a fix it fic 👍
#to be FAIR. ive never had any super BAD fandom experiences either. i like to think im p good at being chill and reasonable and maybe that#kinda attracts similar ppl?? or. idk honestly but im glad for it lol#but bnha fandom overwhelmingly was supportive like. i had the nicest anons for it...i got the cutest merch sent to me for nothing?? that#was SO NICE I STILL HAVE IT BTW. i wonder if the person who sent it still follows me even tho i dont post bnha...#i mean i do every now and then when the mood strikes but ye#oh also danny phantom fandom was rly nice too abt my oc!!! my god she still has more notes than ANY oc post ive ever made#baffling how many cool ppl liked her and i got fanart for her too???#im always like. ugly crying when i get fanart of any kind JKASDHKF or fan works!!#very very very cool and nice....#sanchoyorambles#i want to write more fics sometime but i am STILL burnt out on writing from nano tbh?? it was SO EXHAUSTING#i HAVE fic concepts altho not bnha exactly#i do have bnha fics i could add to the wip comp that im never gonna finish but post regardless#altho tbh that wasnt received the best so maybe not...#:thinking:#there are some warm healer wips in there....i think#??#would have 2 check#also very funny bnha fact my sister is also a lov stan and has spinner merch in her car lol#same hat. we r truly related#me and a friend were talking abt smth related to this earlier#i dont get into good/perfect media much#bc i have this need to FIX THINGS#bnha fits that. i could fix her#ive never claimed its the Best Anime Ever but I CAN FIX HER *with a sledgehammer*
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What makes someone the complete opposite of a perfectionist. Thats just my personality. I have so much fun with it. Because if its not fun, then im not gonna do it. I enjoy it. I have fun with. I like the process. I dont care about mistakes because its always fixable. The canvas takes away my inhibitions. Im not scared to speak up. And the canvas reacts to every single thing i do. Its the best listener.
Theres this one picture that sums up my childhood. For some reason i thought that a tutu goes on my head.
I want to make a garden for little me to play in. I want paintings of myself when i was little. Photographs black and white. Of members of my family as kids just being silly. A healing garden that feels like a hug. With trees and light and safety.
I want to ask women what their happy place is, where they feel calm.
What we planned: yah so im gonna walk over to the Mediterranean sea in greece from the airbnb with coffee, paints, silk, and just chill there painting the waves
Reality: heat on, bra off, covers undone, waterbottle filled, and watching gilmore girls.
U know whats interesting abkut food. If its not losher, its
Planned to sit at the beach... but were tired and cold. So we snuggle instead.
sit by the sea in greece with a cup of coffee and paint silk
Reality:
Im not always the "life of the party". I have moods. Sometimes a room revolves around me, sometimes i dont want it to, so im a quieter, sweeter version of myself. Not the entainer. I read a room, see what's needed. And sometimes i dont, because im exhausted. But the complements i live off of arent- "oh, i remember you from the party, u had so much energy, like a big ball of fire". My favorite compliments were "oh, i remember you, u were the nicest one there" at the bonfire. In my early 20s i was a dance till the sun came up kinda girl. But now, given the choice between dancing all night, or sitting next to the guy or girl looking at the fire and talk about life, or existentialism, or ideas. Id rather do that. No, im not gonna be or insert myself into every photo, thats just not me. Im the nice one. The one who will spend time making ppl feel like they're important, seen, like they are the most important thing in my world.
I work very hard to
U know a weird hobby? To see what jewelry people decide to wear on flights. Because most ppl dont want to pack it so going on a flight is kind of like a jewelry catelog where everyone's wearing their nicest stuff and i love that crap. Like ive always wanted a simcha spot but instead of a pic of the couple, a pic of the rings. Like did she get a lab diamond, a normal cut, a art deco vintage, something padt down in the family, who cares what her name is, i want carot.
I dont know what the deal is, but part of my journey is that i cry way more than i used to. I never used to cry about anything and would laugh at ppl who are so emotional about everything. And i guess one of the things about realizing how close you were to dying is that it makes you emotional. It makes me cry everytime i leave home, cry when my friends or family is in pain, cry from beautiful music, from tv shows, from movies, from a story. And not one two tears. We're talking the drowned rat look.
הי דליה, את יכולה להרשם. בטופס הרשמה פשוט תסמני מכללה אחרת ובהערות למטה תכתבי שאת לומדת באמונה ושאת דתלשית שמנסה לחזור. בהצלחה!
He insults. And insulting is the poorest argument. If an argument goes to name calling, they are weak, and the language of the poor
He speaks pooly. And i dont mean bad, i mean he speaks like a poor person. Because if a debater is at the point of insulting or name calling, then its obvious he doesnt have a good argument. Because smart people dont resort to name calling or insults, its below them. Smart people and not smart people show who they are by how they speak.
When someone and their followers speak like poor street people, i find them not suitable to run the country.
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hi! different anon but which activists do you recommend following on twitter?
hello! these are my faves! (in no particular order, i just went down my following list)
@sarahmichall - punjabi muslim/ashkenazi jewish women’s and sustainability studies organizer in hawai’i
@queeralamode - queer leftist from LA, currently updating on protests there
@elisabeth - Black prison abolitionist from denver who works with the CO freedom fund, she’s also been updating re: protests in denver
@terisasiagatonu - really awesome sāmoan activist, organizer, and poet.
@LCRWnews - left coast right watch updates on right wing extremist activity, mainly along the west coast. they’ve been covering oakland protests recently. consider donating to their patreon if you live on the west coast bc they do really important work for free
@softblackbby - Black radical, lesbian, feminist, anti-imperialist
@aznbrutalistgirl - vietnamese communist living in NYC
@MissPavIichenko - bi marxist-leninist
@rtyson82 - Black leftist; his tweets about electoral politics/why he won’t vote for biden are really good
@mykalita_ - one of my faves! indigenous filipina activist/JD living in hawai’i. she tweets abt militant feminism and her work with AF3IRM hawai’i, an anti-colonialist 4th wave feminist org.
@ashaxchandra - malayali/sindhi indian marxist-leninist living in the northeast. she tweets about marxism & being a survivor, among other things, and is rlly open to answering questions on her curiouscat.
@socialistdogmom - another one of my faves. socialist/activist living in virginia. she tweets about bureaucracy and takes local govt meeting minutes. and her dogs are cute as hell! she’s been updating from rallies/protests in richmond and charlottesville.
#q slur /#this is by no means exhaustive and im always following more ppl#but i really value ppl who know their shit and tweet about it#socialistdogmom is my hero honestly#ask#Anonymous
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over on the horny sideblog (well. the hornier sideblog) i reblogged a rare edizzy piece (and uh, warning/disclaimer abt that art and fic here) and now i am thinking abt what The Canon Edizzy Dynamic is. to me. BIG warning for mentions of dubcon/noncon
general stuff abt ed and izzy's relationship that i think is pretty strongly supported by canon:
izzy did not meet ed until blackbeard was already well established. more on that take here.
at the beginning of the show izzy is like the only person ed has regular conversations with. izzy takes advantage of this and will stretch the truth sometimes when giving ed reports.
during the kraken era ed's isolation from the crew gets even worse. izzy is practically ed's sole source of any sort of human interaction that isn't violence.
ed and izzy were never physically or emotionally intimate. izzy thinks he understood ed and they had some unspoken deep bond (more on that take here) but in 2.01 he realizes that ed is not nearly as invested in their relationship as he is, and in 2.03 he realizes that what he felt for ed is not even close to what stede feels for ed.
some more headcanon-y (but still supported by canon) stuff about their pre-canon dynamic:
ed chose izzy to be first mate firstly bc he knew izzy did not have what it takes to be a captain. izzy's not charismatic enough to lead ppl and nobody's gonna follow izzy in a mutiny against THEE blackbeard. izzy also does not know enough about sailing to be able to make decisions about navigation and whatnot.
the other big reason ed made izzy his first mate is bc ed is very familiar w guys like izzy and he knows how to deal with them. mean older white guy with very specific ideas about what it means to be a man?? ed was rasied by a guy like that. ed's first captain was a guy like that. ed can handle izzy just fine. and if izzy is a bit of a dick and is constantly being an ass to him, well, ed's used to that too. he can take it.
ed being isolated from his own crew is not something izzy masterminded on his own to keep ed under his control so much as it's something ed gradually started doing out of very reasonable distrust of other pirates and not wanting to be seen as vulnerable. if the crew sees him laughing and hanging out they're gonna realize that the legendary blackbeard is just a normal ass guy and anyone can easily build a name for themselves as The Guy Who Killed Blackbeard. also ed isolates due to depression.
like i said before tho, izzy definitely takes advantage of the situation. ed relies on him for info and izzy does not always present info truthfully.
when ed does talk to other ppl in his crew it is not a casual friendly conversation, it's ed talking to an employee. the only time ed gets to actually have a conversation w someone who doesnt work for him is when he runs into jack or any other pirate friends he might have from before he became blackbeard. this doesnt happen often.
so ed is kinda starved for just like. a friend. and izzy is the only person he talks to. but izzy always maintains this air of like, "i am a loyal first mate doing my duty to my captain" whenever they're talking even if ed's just trying to have a drink and relax with him. it gets exhausting for ed.
the only time izzy isn't talking to ed like that is when izzy is bitching about something. this is just pure headcanon time but i think sometimes ed would intentionally wind izzy up just to get him to drop the "yes sir blackbeard" shtick for a minute.
what im saying is that for years ed's main options for socializing were people falling over themselves to obey him, his first mate talking to him like a robot, or his first mate calling him an insane and unpleasant twat who would be dead a million times over if it weren't for him.
now here's what i think is going on with izzy, disclaimer that this is pretty firmly just headcanons bc canon does not rlly confirm a hwole lot abt this guy lol:
izzy is strictly attracted to men.
izzy has a very rigid mental framework regarding what he thinks being a man means. i personally don't care enough about izzy to come up with a rich backstory to explain this, to me it's just "ex british navy, became a pirate in his 30s," so his standards of masculinity are very much informed by ahistorical ofmd british society. that doesnt rlly matter at all tho, the only thing that's important is that izzy has some very weird ideas about what it means to be a man.
those ideas are basically just glorifying power and thinking the best expression of power is through violence. also rejection of things that are feminine, soft, or emotional. rejection of vulnerability, and also rejection of open expressions of sexuality.
like, yknow how some ppl's idea of masculinity includes having a lot of sex with women? well bc izzy's gay that doesnt work for him. he is ashamed of his desire for men so his idea of idealized masculinity does not include openly expressing attraction. the calico jack style of openly bragging abt his sexual exploits does not apply to izzy.
izzy's repressed attraction to men and his belief of power and violence as the true measure of manhood have combined in his brain. the thinks men expressing brutal violence is hot. he's attracted to power.
like mostly i think izzy gets horny for being overpowered by a stronger man. it's like, he's not supposed to want to have sex with men, but if a stronger and more powerful man forces himself on izzy then it's not izzy's fault.
essentially: izzy wants ed to violently top him.
also tho i DO think that izzy can top. i think he'd top if some tougher guy was like, telling him to do it (altho that would also shatter his concept of how sex works bc izzy's very top=dom and sub=bottom). i do think izzy also would be turned on by being the more "powerful" one during sex, especially if he thinks he's overpowering a man who should be overpowering him.
ed:
is not attracted to izzy
is horrified by his capacity for violence
subconsciously desires approval from izzy bc izzy reminds him of his dad. this is not something i think ed ever realizes about himself in canon but there's a LOT to play with there in fics.
ed would only top izzy if he was in a deeply unhealthy headspace leading up to it. topping izzy the way izzy wants to be topped would reinforce ed's belief that he's a monster and would essentially be a form of emotional self-harm for ed.
so like the way i see it. canon dynamic edizzy smut is either izzy topping from the bottom and trying to incite ed to do horny violence towards him and ed hating every second of it, or it's izzy taking advantage of ed and ed seeking izzy's approval. either way tho ed is having a Very Bad Time
oh and also daddy kink. like rlly fucked up, deeply unhealthy daddy kink.
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IM SO GLAD I COULD CONVINCE U BC ITS FANTASTIC AND I HOPE MORE PPL GET INTO IT! and im literally the biggest slut for aquariums so ty ty and hope u enjoy 🤙🏽 @alibrick1
♡ Aquarium Date ♡
Soshiro Hoshina x Unspecified Gender! Reader
as always if y’all enjoy this please remember that reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
“What’s so funny?” You huffed, giddiness at the sight of the incredible creature in the tank in front of you quickly turning to suspicion upon turning away to look for where your boyfriend could have wandered off to, only to find him standing a few feet behind you, laughing.
“Nothin’.” He chuckled, a smile still on his face as he closed the distance between the two of you, though now his eyes were on the large whale shark that passed by behind you, which was arguably where his attention should have been considering the two of you didn’t go to the aquarium just stare at each other, but he couldn’t help his focus shifting to you more often than not.
Things at the base had been a bit hectic to say the least and being the vice captain, that chaos naturally landed right in his lap and he was expected to take a large part in getting things under control. That combined with the fact that you hadn’t exactly gotten off easy yourself meant that the two of you had been seeing very little of one another, which was generally expected due to your jobs and the fact that he was never really ‘off duty’ due to his position, but you’d barely had time to do anything aside from maybe eat lunch together and even that had become rare.
To be honest, he was arguably more put off by your lack of time together than you were, yet it was you who ended up finally requesting to get a weekend off with him.
While you decided to shoot high by asking your captain if her vice captain could be included in your time off, you were expecting her to draw the line at him considering the amount of work that had to be done, but to your surprise she agreed. It was something about how she knew good performance stemmed from a well rested mind, but all you heard was ‘you get a weekend off with your boyfriend’ and you were practically running down the hall ordering shinkansen tickets to Osaka and texting Soshiro simultaneously. He didn’t believe it at first, but he was more than happy to agree so here you were, at the Kaiyukan aquarium on a well deserved weekend off.
He himself was pretty impartial to aquariums and zoos, he dealt with insane creatures damn near everyday so there was never really anything about the attractions that really drew his attention. You, on the other hand, were someone who had become very good at drawing his attention and he’d caught himself staring a good handful of times throughout your day.
It was partially because of your looks, especially since you had gone all out considering the fact that you rarely got to do so, but mostly because this was the first time he had seen you looking excited and happy in a while. Usually when you saw one another, you were both exhausted and just about out of any energy you could muster, so seeing you looking into the various fish filled tanks with a wide smile playing on your lips and an extra pep in your step was more than enough to give him reason to stare.
He only laughed because he couldn’t believe himself for being so romantically cringey, plus it was funny seeing you practically smash your face against the glass to get a better look at the gentle giant that swam by every once in a while, but he was quick to act like he definitely-totally-100% wasn’t laughing at you.
“ ‘Nothin’ “, you mocked while gently elbowing him in the ribs before leaning into his side as he feigned dramatic pain. “You’re a shit liar, I can always tell when you’re laughing at me.”
“I don’t know what you mean.~” He hummed, this time letting out an actual ‘ow’ upon receiving a kick to his foot as he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Just in a good mood ‘s all.”
You hummed, shifting your eyes to look at him before looking back at the display before you. You liked to act like you didn’t care in retaliation to the amount of teasing you received from him, but you really did want him to have a fun weekend to relax a bit. You had been a tad bit worried that he might have wanted to spend his small slice of free time having time for himself, not that you would blame him, so you were relieved to see the lack of tense body language that you had been seeing in him as of late and a genuine smile on his face.
“In a good enough mood to buy me dinner?” You challenged with a raised brow, not wanting to dwell on being mushy for long as he let out a laugh of his own while giving a gentle squeeze to your waist.
“You’re not very good at being persuasive.”
“What do you want me to do, pose?”
“God no, that would be embarrassing and then I’d have to act like I don’t know who you are.”
You rolled your eyes and let out a faux huffy “Fine then.”, though when you went to pull away from him he was quick to tighten his grip, reflexes as fast as ever as he pulled you closer and muttered a resigned “Fine, fine.” against your skin while pressing a playful kiss on your temple.
“Gross, people are gonna think we’re dating or something.” You teased, this time actually wiggling out of his grasp to get a move on as your hunger began to creep up on you at the mention of dinner.
He simply smiled, moving to follow after you as he had done so many times before and would probably end up doing until the day he died.
“Yeah, well-“ He started, lacing his fingers with yours as he caught up. “Guess we’ll just have to tell them I got lucky.”
#bee writes#ill never stop kicking myself for not going to the osaka aquarium when I had the chance so im livin vicariously thru yn#kn8#kaiju no. 8#kn8 x reader#kaiju no. 8 x reader#soshiro hoshina#soshiro hoshina x reader
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Levi x raiden shogun reader? (If you dont know who she is she is a charecter from the game genshin impact and she is really pretty and powerful even tho you dont know who she is just please do a small head cannon that is even enough
Oohhh well I have no idea who raiden shogun is AHAHAHAH but I will certainly try and play some genshin impact this summer (if im not too obsessed with writing fics which I can't promise ehehe) BUT i did some googling.
Pairing: Levi x Raiden Shogun from Genshin Impact
Genre: Headcanons, Discussion, Writing advice
So, I'm going to quote some wikia info about this character:
"The Shogun is cold and stern in personality, even callous at times; she is limited in emotional expression, has no likes and dislikes, and has no need for recreation."
Do you know what that reminds me? LEVI LMAO Imagine putting this man - this man who's so very scared to show people how he feels and what he thinks - with a person who does the exact same thing.
Like, imagine two cold and stern ppl trying to get along. They wouldn't talk to each other, they would never learn anything about each other, and they would never learn how to read each other lmao this calls for the longest slow burn in the history of slow burns.
That's why it's always easier to pair a closed-up-to-himself character like Levi with a character that's more opened up. I'm not saying you should give this poor man a polar opposite (like hange) because they would be fighting all the time and that would be exhausting on both (even tho I do ship LeviHan 👀) but you should give him a character who's a little more open.
Levi by default is an insecure man when it comes to relationships, ok? He thinks he's ugly and he's got zero experience in that stuff. He needs reassurance that you want him 1000000% of the time.
BUT two cold and stern characters paired up together is a really challenging trope but def fit for a slow burn.
The Shogun is a puppet created by Ei to act as the ruler of Inazuma. This puppet follows a set of directives programmed into her, which are extremely hard to modify even by Ei herself. The Shogun thinks of herself as Ei's assistant, and does exactly as she wishes, no more and no less; she cannot act without Ei's direction
Do you know what I'm seeing here, anon? I'm seeing an Ackerman that can't do shit without a certain person's leadership. All Ackermans follow some leader that they think is aiming for a cause that's bigger than themselves.
If the Ackerbond was a thing (<- and you can make it in your fic), then that would mean that Levi would have no choice but to follow Erwin's orders, or Mikasa would be forced to do whatever Eren wanted her to do <- being puppets.
I mean, you could definitely have Levi and Shogun bond over this. It is something that they are both going through.
When pairing up two characters that are relatively the same, you should always focus on stuff that they have similar because they are many. Have them bond over this shit and you'll get a fic that makes bitches cry 👌��
Plus, you said she's very powerful and Levi is also very powerful but they're both 'puppets' so what to do with all this power if you don't have control over it?
Anyways, you get the idea, anon, I hope this helped somehow, I don't know much about Genshin Impact sadly but I hope I covered some stuff!
#aot#snk#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#levi ackerman#aot fanfiction#aot headcanons#aot imagine#aot imagines#aot x reader#aot x you#levi aot#aot fluff#aot fic#aot fandom#aot fanart#levi ackerman x oc#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman attack on titan#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman scenarios#levi x mc#levi x reader#levi x y/n#levi x you#levi attack on titan#levi fluff#levi heichou
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okkkk sooooo let's go, brace yourself it's gonna be a long rant. (also sorry if i don't make sense, english isn't my first language)
i am a larrie too and most people i follow here are larries bc i kinda feel like they're a safe space you know? BUT the fandom can be so fucking tiring and annoying sometimes. not everything louis and harry do have to do with larry and that's okay!!!!!! (i know saying something like that can get you dragged to hell in this fandom...anyways. lol) not everything is an easter egg. not everything has to be interpreted (?) a certain way. i know it's fun to find little things in their music that are connected, i get the thrill. but sometimes it's too much, the fandom makes the most out of too little things and it's so ??????. my issue is mostly with how some people in the fandom view louis and his ideas and themes and stuff. let him have his fucking moment without connecting EVERYTHING, every single little detail of his art to harry. they are their own individuals and they have their own career and they make their own art. there are connections and parallels, someone has to be dumb not to see them but sometimes it's good to let them have something for themselves each. - i.e. i saw someone making the fitf ono about how harry had one too and blah blah married yeah we get it!!!!! but what the FUCK does louis promoting his album have to do with harry? what the hell does louis having one, two, whatever special concerts to promote his album have to do with harry? it's like, louis follows every step harry takes (i'm always speaking in terms of their career and art), he does whatever harry does, he doesn't have creative freedom (? not the right phrase but idk how else to say it sorry). it's like some people see his work as a copy of harry's, you know what i mean? this is not meant to be sorry for louis or to pity him, i know he hates that and i know you do too. it's more like, louis is his own person, OUTSIDE of the relationship!!! (as is harry of course), not everything he does has to be depended on the relationship or his partner, he has his own mind, his own ideas, his own creativity. he doesn't have to have anyone as a "step" where he has to be on to build his career (does that make sense?). he's gaining sooooooo much popularity and recognition, i know walls was successful, but this era is on another level. let him fucking have this for HIMSELF. he did that HIMSELF. it's kinda unfair to take that away from him by implying that everything he does has to do with anyone but him.
anyway, this is where the rant ends. didn't wanna make a post about it bc as i said, saying this stuff can get you dragged to hell in this fandom bc let's be honest, there are certain opinions that apparently everyone has to have. thank you for your time and patience. post it if you want, or not idk. of course i'd love to hear your opinion on this. byyeeeeee <3
anon im so glad u came back i was hoping to see a msg from u when i got home from class.
i think im largely on the same page as you!!! i consider myself a larrie and thats mainly who i follow and who my friends r, like thats my Circle in the fandom, but it can be very exhausting when its the only lens ppl use to look at their art. not only is it just a tad annoying, i think its pretty dismissive and reductive to take that approach every time. i have similar feelings abt taylor when ppl jump to immediately connect a song to her public life story and then dont go further. for me its like.... there is so much more to a song (or any piece of art) than its "true" meaning (and i say that liberally because even when larries connect on of hl's songs to the other or their real lives, this is no more "true" than connecting a song to a girlfriend, etc, i think there's too much certainty by fans in this fandom) and it limits ur enjoyment of a song i think to not push to break out of that box.
also i think people drawing connections between career stuff is mostly. connecting dots that arent there. one-off concerts are not a rarity and theres already differences in their album release shows. i dont follow many musicians super closely, but i believe ashe also had an album release show last month. and (iirc) lthq said these shows will be a mix of songs from walls and fitf (so it wont be a straight through play of the album like harry's ono show are).
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can i vent in your inbox please : i really don’t understand fans who worship YouTuber/artists or whatever and they never have any opinions about them and they think every criticism is hate. there is a big difference between hate and criticism for example: Sam following Elon makes me roll my eyes so much but that doesn’t mean i hate him and i want him to be canceled !!! it’s ok to criticize someone and still support them it’s not always black and white it’s not drama either, even Colby himself said fans who complain about hate and drama annoy him lol because usually there‘s no actual “drama” or hate it’s just tweets. if the fans are being respectful when they criticize them then what’s the problem? tbh snc fandom is least toxic youtube fandom i joined the other YouTuber fandom im in fans left bloody tampons on the door of his house!!! i don’t know why they did it but that’s what we‘re dealing with right now 🙄
i wasn't sure if you wanted me to post this or not since you said "can i vent in your inbox please". but i figured i would post your ask anyway just bc you make some valid points.
i've had my fair share of run ins with fans that think any form of criticism is hate against the person they like/love, and it is exhausting honestly lol
i think a lot of the times the fans that react that way towards their stan aren't trying to come from a place of hate/negativity or arguing for the sake of arguing. i think often those ppl that are overly defensive of the ppl they like is bc either the person they like (they feel like) gets more hate than not so they feel like they always have to be on the defense for them. also, it could be bc they've been shamed before for having an interesting in said person, and now they want to prove their loyalty in some way or another.
or it could be they don't want to hear negative things about the person they like. and even criticism, to some of these ppl, is negative even when it's not.
i will say, i think our fandom has a tendency to think any argument between two fans is drama when it clearly isn't. the amount of times i've seen ppl argue on twitter and then a minute later a shit ton of fans say "there's so much drama" is more often than not.
two ppl disagreeing and having a discussion is not drama. if that were the case, every conversation i have on here would be considered drama lol
and maybe to some ppl that's true, but you can't go thru life, both in fandom and not, seeing any argument as "negative" or drama. look, i get not wanting to have arguments or hating confrontation, but sometimes you gotta duke it out with words lol
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I hope you're doing well! As always, seeing a notification in my email that you posted another fic is just *chef's kiss*.
The newest story with Luke and Marius is simply - I could just post a bunch of emojis that would probably convey the meaning better but the fact that I read it three times should be another good indicator of how fucking brilliant anything you write is.
Which sorta brings me to my next point and it's something I wanted to ask you for a little while now. How do you just post things? I know it sounds stupid but I would love to be able to post fics, random posts but I just can't. I can't even write it just for myself. And I know that you can post anonymously and no one will know who you are but I still can't do it. I just get paralysed with fear. Not even talking about posting, just creating in general. I am just terrified of judgment and I have no idea what to do. Do you ever feel like this? How do you overcome yourself? Do you have any advice?
Just a desperate Hibiscus anon, who wants to post so so much but is a "little" afraid ♥️🌺♥️
heyyo hibiscus!!! glad to hear from you again and i hope youre doing well too :DDD
and waAAHHH, thank u for reading "beautiful like a forest fire (admire from a distance, don’t get too close)" 🥺 u read it three times??? i think u read it more than i read it when i was proofreading omg. thank u so so much for the kind words <3!!!
as for ur questions, it's not stupid at all. it's a really really valid and pervasive fear and yeah, i still do struggle with this. hell, i feel it like, every other day
tho how i get over it is.....dkjbfkdjgksd in the manner of how i do almost everything in my life, i take it apart and analyse it. and through this dissection, this is how i can get possible solutions
disclaimer that this is what works for My Brain. it might not work for yours, but maybe you can get something from my process that does work for your brain
so yea. in my brain it all starts with the core fear of judgement, right? well, i dont like how judgement is such a broad word. like, judgement is when people come to conclusions based off of info given and the nature of humans is that they can come to a wrong or even hurtful conclusion about info, which, in this case, is fanwork. but i want specificity. if judgement is about hurtful conclusions, what are those conclusions i dont want ppl to come to?
what exactly am i afraid of getting judged for?
the following is not an exhaustive list, but just off the top of my head some specific fears i get in fandom
whenever i post fanfic, my fear is that i'll get judged for it not being written well, for it not being a good story.
whenever i post headcanons or silly memes or drawings or whatever 24/7 nonstop, my fear is that i'll get judged to be an annoying motherfucker.
whenever i post niche weird strange content that doesnt mesh with what the rest of the fandom is doing, my fear is that i'll get judged for not making the correct and expected type of fanwork, that people will think im doing this wrong
personally, when i dug into all of these deeper and found the specific judgement im afraid of, it gets easier to parse through. first one on that bullet point is about not being good enough. second is about being too much. third is about I'm Not Doing This Right, I'm Going To Get A Bad Grade In Fandom.
so with those specifics, i shoot em down.
fanfic not good enough? fuckin hell, im not writing this shit to win a pulitzer, im here to have fun! and someone out there will think it is a good story, even if i dont
im annoying? abso-fuckin-lutely i am! and people who dont like that can just block my username but a lot of people do enjoy that i never shut up and i enjoy it too.
not the correct fanwork? anxiety-brain, show me the rules for fandom concepts. oh, there are no rules? then nothing is correct or incorrect, UNCLENCH! and no matter how niche the thing is, it'll somehow connect with somebody else because humans are neat like that and nobody is the only person into that thing
the whole specificity thing is a little bit more of a thought exercise thats not just helpful for fears of putting creations out into the world, but for a lot of things. specificity, personally, helps me figure out solutions.
but in general for judgements, i figure it can be summarized with:
one way or another, everybody is going to judge you and/or your work. but for every person who judges you wrongly, there will also be another who judges you with admiration.
fandom is already judged as strange from the outside by people who arent in these kinds of communities. in my mind, im like "well, might as well go with the flow then!" and i own it
create unapologetically cuz life feels a loooot better when a person stops being sorry for something they shouldnt be sorry about
sdkjfkHBJDFS I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE OMG
and i hope this can help in some way
#when i posted my first totfic ''instructions unclear...'' i took a 4hr depression nap immediately after cuz#i was so so scared that ppl would hate it cuz it wasnt shippy or romantic it's just shenanigans and nothing else#existed in the tag yet like that#but then ppl liked it. and im still scared everytime i post something but. idk. ppl in the community prove me wrong#there will b ppl who judge u with kindness and joy and thats what keeps me going thru the fear#hibiscus!anon#asks
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can i request sleepover hcs with trickstar (separate)? i feel like they would be so much fun to be with... the new shuffle unit really woke up my inner trickstarP 🥺 (hope it's not too much to request all 😭)
HELLO !!! nd no it's ok !!!! it took me some time bcs i didnt . rlly know how to start out hokuto's part BUT IT'S DONE NOW !!!!!!! (also i hope u meant it in a setting where y/n nd the members r in a relationship (separately ofc) bcs that's how i wrote it so ye) hope yall like it ~
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
AKEHOSHI SUBARU
• he probably brought up the idea while u were accompanying him on a walk w daikichi
• u were talking abt how u brought these glow-in-the-dark stickers nd they remind u of him
• "it would b so nice if u could see it omg!!! but .... it's the best when u watch it right before u go to sleep.....nd ur probably busy :(("
• "????? LETS HAVE A SLEEPOVER THEN!!!!!!! W ALL THE SPARKLE SPARKLE STARS!!!! AAAAA IT WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!"
• nd ur just like :0 bcs u cant believe this dumbass . he has a live to perform in day after tomorrow but he's gonna have a sleepover........what
• "dw abt my live !!!!!!! ill tell hokke nd the others that i can't come today but i'll practice extra hard tomorrow !! they'll understand dw (*・∀-)☆"
• they didn't.....actually...but he cut the call on hokuto before they could get him to attend so uh-
• "anyways!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^"
• yall bring daikichi over too. it's not even a question daikichi is literally yalls child at this point but anyways
• he probably looks for board games for a good hour or two while u get some food for daikichi nd then get some food for subaru nd urself
• (he doesn't find it)
• u peek at the doorframe bcs for a while u keep feeling like someone has been watching u for a while now nd then boom . u see the other baby (read : subaru . main baby is daikichi, ofc!) pouting at u
• u laugh nd wipe ur hands on ur apron before ruffling his hair nd he goes
• "i can't find the board games :((((( y/n :(((((("
• surprise guessing game : whos the actual puppy? akehoshi subaru or his actual dog daikichi??????? it remains a mystery
• anyways u help him look for them nd after u hand him over the thing u get food for the both of u nd force him to eat atleast a bite bcs this bitch is too busy trying to win against u in snakes & ladders 😭😭😭
• "subaru.....pls....the food is getting cold....."
• "no i Know im gonna win!!! the sparkly stars r my good luck!!!! i know it!!!!!!"
• he.... doesn't win .....for the 5th time....
• so manz just gives up, noms all the sandwiches visible (aka his portion bcs u alrdy finished urs an hour ago JDJDKDN)
• nd then sleeps, still sulking
• yes it ends up in u guys cuddling under the glowy stars
• nd subaru thinks that mayb losing against u isn't that bad after all (´꒳`)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
HIDAKA HOKUTO
• unlike subaru, this was actually a planned one
• u both had homework to do, u especially had a test tomorrow nd subaru just ditched the rest of trickstar to go hang out w someone else instead of their practice so ┐(´∀`)┌
• hokuto appears at ur doorstep around 6:30pm, as discussed earlier
• "right on time!!!!!! so true hokke (´∀`)b"
• he chuckles a lil as he closes the door behind him nd takes off his shoes
• "(y/n) u keep sounding like that masked pervert whenever u say smthg like that pls"
• u laugh it off nd then get him to the living room, where u two get ur books out nd then start studying
• hokuto asks if uve studied any material before to which u quietly reply no nd hokuto just goes
• "oh, that's ok… i think it will be good practice for me too if i taught u all this, right? so let's start, hm?"
• HOKKEEEEEEE ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐
• sasuga hokuto kyun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• anyways !! u guys (finally) start studying now!
• except…..except ur alrdy falling asleep……
• hokuto doesn't even realise this till he looks over to his shoulder bcs wow it suddenly feels heavy! wonder why!
• nd then boom ur face is an inch away from his
• poor hokuto his face gets all red and his ears r burning nd when he realises that ur sleeping he just . freezes
• doesnt even move fucking muscle
• mentally too manz just checks out NDNDNDJDJKS
• BUT IN HIS DEFENCE WHEN HE CAME TO UR PLACE HE DIDNY EXPECT THIS!!!!!!! HE EXPECTED TO STUDY ND THEN GO HOME YK!!!!!!
• poor guy he can feel how hard his heart is beating nd hes praying that u dont hear it nd wake up
• thank goodness ur a heavy sleeper……..nothing, nd i mean not even if boulder is dropped on u, can wake u up
• sasuga…..y/n……?
• anyways !!!!!
• u wake up at like . 2 or 3 am nd u find hokuto just closing his eyes shut, cheeks still bright red nd. WHYS HE SO CLOSE-
• o u fell asleep on his shoulder lol-
• U FELL ASLEEP?????
• u jerk back up nd apologise a million times for falling asleep even tho hes so desperately trying to teach u nd hokuto just tries to hard to explain that it's ok !!!!!!! (bcs he actually kinda . liked it . aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA)
• after much thought u guys just decided to go to sleep bcs ur too tired anyways so it's not like u would retain this info anyways
• nd it was a good decision bcs after waking up in the morning nd going thru his notes instead u actually aced the test !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so true y/n !!!!!!
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
YUUKI MAKOTO
• this one….. it's like . neither planned or accidental?????
• it just happened????? yk?????
• he called u suddenly in the evening bcs he went to this new game shop that opened near his place right
• nd hes just like !!!!!!! y/n!!!!!!! uve got to check this game out !!!!!!
• nd so u go to his place to play the game nd u see that he just has everything prepared so u get the snacks that u got for both of u on a plate nd get some juice from his fridge nd start playing the game
• nd the game is rlly good !!!!!
• from the graphics to the boss music, makoto rlly knows ur taste
• (he blushes nd thanks u all flustered too hehe)
• nd after switching consoles nd playing the game for over 3 hrs, yes it's a pretty huge game, u finally reach the boss battle!!!!
• nd this . this scares u
• uve seen ppl on the net say that this battle will absolutely End u . periodt
• u never rlly understood why but holy shit u now do
• uve been trying to win against this bitch for AN HOUR at this point . why cant he just die
• poor makoto is just cheering u on in the bg bcs u refuse to let him help
• "y/n….(;´Д`)...... it's ok bb…...i'll finish this up for u…. it's like 4am we have class tomorrow- wait no it's actually today-"
• "makoto No u always help me in games let me finally win smthg for u !!!!!!"
• nd u point at his forehead nd poke it several times as u make ur point
• "ill win for u !!!!! ok!!!!! this stupid boss can never be as strong as my love for u !!!!!! (*`へ´*) 彡3"
• nd hes just . looking at u all worried but he . he trusts u . so he lets u do it urself
• yes u lost even more times nd cried a lil out of frustration
• so at one point, instead of directly helping u, he just starts giving u directions nd at this point ur too tired nd exhausted to say anything so u just follow him
• (u also have ur head on his lap nd hes combing thru ur hair nd looking down at u like :') lmao what a lovebird)
• but when u actually beat the boss, finally, nd the screen says "win!" in huge yellow letters ur eyes go O.O
• nd u jump out of his lap, while he's still spaced out, combing ur hair nd hug him v tightly
• nd hes like ????? huh ???? wh wh wh ?????????
• nd u explain that u finally won nd u guys just rejoice lol
• then immediately fall asleep. both of u
• (u guys were late to school next day . sigh)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
ISARA MAO
• unlike the other three, this man was actually dragged to ur place
• why? u might ask
• WELL THIS DUMB RAT IS BURNT OUT !!!!!! HE DOES TOO MUCH WORK ND HE DOESNT REALISE IT !!!!!!!!!!
• so after u guys r done w school, nd when u check in w his fam too that hes gonna stay at ur place (nd also that he has almost no work today, ofc) u drag him to an arcade nd hes like ???
• "today is a rest day!!!!!! so no work at all!!!!!!"
• u said this while pouting a bit so mao mostly thought u were joking
• but even after going to the arcade, going to the shopping mall nd getting snacks, going to the fast food place u guys visit alot nd getting food from there, his brain doesnt catch on that ur indeed not joking
• until it's been 3 hours at ur place, ur having the dinner that u guys had bought from the fast food place while watching a random movie that was airing on some channel that his brain suddenly went
• 'i know they were saying that this is a rest day nd ur not allowed to work probably as a joke but bro…. i dont think it's a joke anymore'
• this is so sad f in the chat for mao lol
• but also he doesnt bring it up bcs ur forcing him to watch musicals w u (some of ur favs) nd he... actyally likes it?
• he hasn't felt so ….relaxed in a very long time now that he thinks abt it
• nd he has to thank u for it yk
• nd so after the musical marathon ends, as he thanks u, he kind of just goes on a rant yk
• abt how he's feeling
• he never expected for this to happen but u tell him it's ok yk
• nd while he shouldn't burden himself w so much work, ur always open to listen to his thoughts, opinions, random bs, anything !!!!!!
• for hours u guys just have a very deep talk abt how guys have been doing nd mao feels like hes so so glad that u did smthg like this for him
• yall also go to bed early bcs mao alrdy has a bad sleeping schedule (so let's not make it worse!!!!)
• nd in conclusion, it was a v good day! now yall do this whenever either of u r feeling down or get burnt out lol
#sorry this was so late anon sobs#also hope u got bridal mao!!!!!!! nd fs makoto!!!!!!#also i said in the beginning i didnt know how to write for hokuto but i think i like writing him now#he'd probably get flustered alot in a relationship lol#also i don't mind group recs!!!!!#i do mind if it's like . 5 ppl from diff groups that i need to write individually for#but 4 is ok !!!!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻#thank u for requesting anon!!#akehoshi subaru#subaru#hidaka hokuto#hokuto#yuuki makoto#makoto#isara mao#mao#enstars#ensemble stars#enstars imagines#enstars writing#writing#enstars scenarios#ensemble stars scenarios#anon !!#ask box !!
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exposed | p.js
pairing: jisung x reader
requested: i’m working on loads of request atm but when i saw this i had to write it straight away lmao
summary: when dispatch reveals your secret realtionship with jisung to the public, the fans aren’t the only ones surprised.
warnings/genre: unedited, kinda just self-indulgent fluff, lots of words, not much happens
word count: 1.7k
a hand on your shoulder breaks you from your slumber, words already being spoken at you. in your sleepy haze, they floated straight through your head, mind still groggy from being woken up so suddenly. as soon as you recognise the voice as your manager’s, your eyes snap open, meeting equally wide ones over the head of your manager. haemee, your leader, shoots you an apologetic look, something unsettling for so early in the morning.
“what happened?” the words are quiet and tired and your manager sighs in pity, handing over their phone. your eyes squint in response to the brightness, stomach dropping when your eyes finally focus on the news article.
BREAKING; DISPATCH REVEALS UQS’ Y/N AND NCT’S JISUNG ARE DATING.
the title is accompanied by three photos; one of you at a fansign, smiling at a fan, one of jisung waving at a camera in the airport, and then a blurring photo of two figures walking hand in hand through a park at night. the park you and jisung had visited two weeks ago.
“there’s a meeting at the company. can you get ready quickly, please?” despite the ‘scandal’ and the stress your manager was most likely under, she shoots you a comforting smile and ruffles your hair before leaving, phone already ringing.
as soon as you and haemee are left alone you reach for your phone, feeling the bed dip as she sits beside you. she rests a hand on your shoulder, rubbing her fingers down your back soothingly. your lockscreen in full of text messages. you thumb through them, seeing many from jisung, along with the other nct members you were close with. you ignored them all, only searching for the ones from your boyfriend.
jisungie <3: have you seen it yet?
jisungie <3: call me when you see this
jisungie <3: are you okay?
jisungie <3: i know you didn’t want ppl to find out like this
jisungie <3: let me know you’re okay plzzz x
“it’s gonna be fine, you know?” haemee’s hands abandon your shoulder and take your phone out of your grasp, tipping your chin so she can look at you. there’s still a smile on her face and you’re reminded of why she’s the group’s leader instead of anyone else; always able to keep things calm. “think about all the other idols that have dated. i bet the fans were expecting this, anyway.”
that was probably correct, you knew. ever since you and jisung had starred on a dancing show in america together, your social medias were full of edits of the two of you, compilations of your interactions from the vlogs you had filmed. as jisung wasn’t fluent in english you had translated for him and done the speaking whenever you ordered food, giving the fans loads of things to include in their edits.
the show had been fun and you had kept in close contact with jisung after it ended, eventually deciding to start dating after months of pining over each other. since then, only haemee, taeyong and the company knew, although you expected chenle knew as well due to the teasing you got whenever you met jisung outside of your training hours.
when haemee left you to get ready you took your phone back, unlocking it and calling jisung as you flicked through your wardrobe, trying to find your hoodie. the call connected after the first ring, jisung’s voice echoing over the line and into your bedroom.
“are you okay?” although there was high chance you were about to be scolded for days, the worry in jisung made your heart beat just a little faster, a reluctant smile taking over your face.
“i’m fine. what about you?” spotting the lilac hoodie at the end of your closet, you pulled your sleep shirt, jisung’s shirt, over your head, replacing it with the warm softness of the purple material. you followed it with a pair of jeans, slipping a face mask on after realising there would probably be reporters outside the SM building already.
“yeah, i’m fine now. i freaked out at first, though,” he chuckled, shouts coming through from his end. “jaemin came in screaming about how he was so betrayed i didn’t tell him, i had no idea what he was talking about.”
“what’d you think is gonna happen?”
there was a pause before he spoke and you had time to grab your bag, throwing in your headphones and a spare mask along with a pair of sunglasses incase. “i’m not sure, taeyong said he’s hopeful, though. so it might not be that bad. it’s not like the company’s finding out about it, though, so it might just be press and stuff.”
“yeah, i hope so. i’ll see you in fifteen minutes i guess,” before you left the safety of your bedroom, you reached for the bucket hat hanging from the corner of your chair, pulling it over your face to hide your eyes. you looked ridiculous, like you were planning to rob a bank, but you guessed it was better than the alternative; hundreds of photos released of your sleep-deprived, drooping eyes.
no one else in the dorm is awake and you’re able to slip out the front door before haemee catched you again, taking a deep breath before heading outside to the car waiting. as it’s just you and your manager, you’re able to sit in the front seat, something you would normally be ecstatic about but due to circumstance it feels lonely and cold. not a word is spoken until the car reaches the entrance to the SM building, throngs of people with cameras waiting outside the front door.
“we’ll go in the back entrance.” you manager says with a frown, eyeing the reporters with concern. “god, it’s impossible to get any privacy nowadays.”
after security escorts you through the back door, pushing reporters out the way when they got too close, you can finally breath properly. for the most part you ignored their questions, signing the first song that comes to mind in your head to distract yourself. ironically, it’s chewing gum, and you realise with resentment it’s going to be stuck in your head throughout the meeting.
upstairs, taeyong and jisung sit on the opposite side of a glass table, two seats left open for you and your manager. their manager stands and motions for him and your manager to talk privately outside, leaving you with the two boys. you take off your hat as you sit down, pulling you mask down so you can talk properly. jisung’s tired eyes crinkle with a smile when you do, a smile you return eagerly.
for a moment you see taeyong think over what to say in his head, trying to find the right words for the situation. eventually, he settles on what your own leader had already told you. “i’m sure this will be fine,” and as if he realises how cliche his words are, he adds “in the end.”
“in the end? what’s that supposed to mean?” jisung tears his eyes away from you to look at the older boy.
“well, i mean, it’s gonna be a big deal at the start,” he states matter of factly, eyes switching between the two of you. the voice he uses is just as level and calm as the one haemee uses whenever she’s trying to sort something out, it must be a universal thing. “the press and the fans will go crazy for a bit, let alone everyone you didn’t tell.”
the reminder makes you dread going back home, knowing the rest of your members will blow this way out of proportion. you were the youngest, and they always managed to be overdramatic whenever it came to you ‘growing up’ as they had put it so many times. none of them knew you were dating jisung, and you could already picture the gloomy pouts you would get for the next few weeks.
after your managers returned, a few more staff entered, filling the last few seats and closing the door, successfully locking you in. they talked for what felt like hours, only occasionally asking you or jisung a question. they decided the easiest thing would be to just come out and admit it, allowing you and jisung a moment to disagree. you locked eyes for a moment, having a silent conversation between yourselves. you raised you eyebrows in question, taking the minuscule nod he sent your way to be the go-ahead.
“i don’t see why not,” you answered for the both of you, smiling at your manager who nodded in agreement back at you.
you don’t get a chance to say goodbye to jisung properly before you leave the building, the staff ushering you in opposite directions to get your schedules for the day started. in the car on the way back to the dorms you send him a text promising to facetime when you both have time, mentally preparing yourself for the confrontation from your members.
“you’re dating jisung?” is the first thing you hear when the front door opens, closely followed by “why didn’t you tell us?” which is swiftly followed by “i can’t believe you’re the first one to date anyone, it’s not fair.”
“that’s mean.” you smile back at the oldest, laughing at the disbelieving smiles covering their faces. “why are you guys so surprised? you didn’t think i could do it?”
“whatever, but, why didn’t you tell us?”
“in my defense, the company told us not to tell anyone.”
for the next few days, your group’s twitter was hectic. you trended on twitter for nearly a solid day, photos and edits and memes of you and jisung together filling your timeline. there were the negative comments, obviously, from jealous fans of both fandoms, some even claiming you should both be removed from your respective groups. they were easy to ignore when the positive comments and the text messages from your boyfriend outweighed them astronomically.
jisungie <3: as much as i hate to say it.. taeyong was right x
a/n: if you got this far im acc proud of you lmao i rlly dont like this but it's been a kinda mentally exhausting day for me so im gonna post anyway and edit tomorrow x
#park jisung imagines#park jisung x reader#nct imagines#nct x reader#jisung imagines#jisung x reader#nct dream imagines#nct dream x reader#nct idol au#idol!reader#nct#nct dream#park jisung fluff#jisung fluff#nct jisung imagine#jisung#nct fluff#nct dream imagine
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Sleeping In The Bathroom Is Better Than Home
Description:
Chat noir cannot stand being at home anymore and by chance stumbles upon Marinette wich turns into an unexpected sleepover
Hurt/comfort
Marichat (can be viewd as romantic or platonic)
Oneshot
Trigger warnings : mention of verbal abuse, mentions of neglect, discussions of bad mental health, bad mental health, insomnia, anxiety, trapping a child mention (ask to tag)
"Im done and sick of it"
He couldnt think straight, he just knew that he needed to get out as fast as he can
Plag popped out in a look of concern but before he could say anything Adrien already climbed out the window and yelled "Plagg claws out" and jumped out
His movement wasent his usual cat like swiftness
It was heavy and frantic
He was stumbling around in the dark and crashing into a wall or a random pole every once in a while but ignoring it as nothing happened and just, keeps going
He was going around blindly
With the only purpose of just, getting away
After a while of hanging about at the dark he calmed down a bit, but he was still fearful
His dad yelling still ringing in his ears and with each sound feeling like another hit
"Ignore it he insisted"
"You are here, you are safe, you are not at home anymore."
"You are safe." he whispered to himself loudly with a bit of a panic in his voice and a desperation to make these words feel true
But it was getting late he knew that soon he will need to go back home but he couldnt bring himself
He would rather sleep outside
"The only problem is that he would be an easy target for hawkmoth or criminals depending on the form"
"Or he could just stay a-"
His thought had been cut mid sentence while he was walking he realised he sees a familiar light and in the light had been basking a familiar figure
"Marinette!" He exclaimed with relief in his voice
"It was nice seeing a friend out here and a light source when everything else seems so dark and bleak and eerily quiet..."
"Chat Noir?" Marinette blinked trying to figure out where the dark ends and where the cat starts
"Its nice to see you" he said with a sheepishly smile
"Is there an akuma" Marinette eyes darted from place to place while her expression seemed so focused she wouldnt miss a fly
"Not tonight princess" he replied feeling a bit guilty he made her worry
A sigh of relief escaped the teen's mouth and her expression softened
And when she looked up to his surprise she looked like she is actually happy to see him
"So what brings you here ~Chat Noir~." she said his superhero name like you would call someone a royalty title jokingly
"Wich... was fair, but! he just hoped she knew every time he called her princess it was full of fondness"
"Oh um, just going for a walk, getting some fresh air"
"At two at night"
"I can ask you the same princess" he stumbled on his words he didnt expect that
"He havent being keeping an eye on the hour"
"He hoped he wasent missing for too long"
"But with his father absence he sometimes thinks he could of being kidnaped by hawkmoth for days and he wouldnt even notice"
"and sometimes he could of just barged into the room out of the blue"
"For ones he hoped for the first one"
Marinette unexpectedly decided to be the first one to break the silence
"Thoughts, just too many thoughts" she replied honestly and wiped her eyes in tiredness and maybe tears
Even though her answer seemed quite generic he recognised the real weight these words hold
"You?" She asked softly in sleepiness
"I just couldnt handle staying there anymore"
He blurted out choking on a bit of tears
"Her honestly just made him feel like he couldnt keep it inside anymore and that he could just share it safely and it will be okay"
"Like he didnt have to keep it down anymore and he really couldnt not like this not when he finally feels safe and the adrenaline from earlier is starting to die out and the tiredness is kicking in"
"Not next to Marinette"
"When she just comes with honestly openness and without anything to hide behind"
"She could of waited a little longer he would have come up with a joke to sweep her off her feet or at least made her laugh thats a win too"
"And just have a normal conversation"
"But she chose openness and he couldnt help, but choose it too"
He was a bit shaking he didnt notice till Marinette put a hand on him "hey, do you wanna go talk inside?"
The cat was frozen in surprise at the sudden touch
but as soon as it went is as soon as it goes
"And I know your identity needs to remain a secret for yours and the safety of your loved ones"
"So tell me just as you can and want of course" she made a serious face in the end but he couldnt ignore how cute it was
He noded thankful and followed her in
"Not surprisingly her room was much warmer than the cold outside"
They set down and Marinette asked while fiddling with her fingers "So, what happened?"
"My dad just yelled at me"
"Again" he rolled his eyes with a snort of someone who learned to turn their anger into despair and nihilistic jokes
"Its or he leaves me alone and neglects me or he yells at me and traps me"
"And in the past it used to be or he neglects me and traps me or he yells at me and traps me"
"But good luck trapping Chat Noir ha ha" he said with exhaustion and finger guns
"Unless you are hawkmoth if he would of being I bet he would have trapped me then too" another bitter laugh escaped his mouth
"What about you?"
"So you know those nights when you try to go to bed and you just lay there but you cant stop thinking and your thought are running and running and you just start shaking and you cant stop and no matter what you cant sleep and you wish so badly you can but you just cant so you stand up cause you cant take it anymore"
She blurted out as well just more in a mini frantic tangent
Instead of a frantic blurt out
"So maybe" she says with a twirl of her hand like she tries to drag the word longer and just not let the sentence end
"Im having one of these nights"
She covered her face with her hand and looked away like she is even ashamed of having a problem
"Wich is super unfair everyone has problems" he scoffed in his head
"And also one thing was made sure by this conversation she was crying earlier"
"Actually yeah" he replied looking up from his knees and surprising them both
"I do get these nights from time to time"
"Now it was his turn to look away"
"Now he is the one feeling shame in having problems"
"Honestly, he thinks it made both of them feel better knowing they are not the only ones even though he and of course Marinette! would never wish this upon each other it was still nice being in the same boat"
"Its exhausting" she exclaimed and looked like she was trying to rest her had on air and getting grumpy each time it doesnt work
Chat tapped to time on his knees to signal that she can use him as a pillow
Marinette without taking a second thought took the invite and settled down
At the moment of contact Chat Noir felt like lightening were running up his spine he just hoped he didnt move
He wasent used to other ppl contact much
And he always withdrew away quite quickly
"Its not that he didnt like others touch"
"Its just that it would always overwhelm him so much"
"And it made him feel like he needed a break but every time he was ready to come back"
"There was nobody left"
"And lets not talk about how it was before school when there was nobody to begin with"
"She looked so comfortable like it was all natural being so close to someone and just putting your head down"
"He wishes he could feel like that too"
"He hopes one day he will"
After a moment of rest and a sigh of relief Marinette asked "So, whats the plan?"
"Kinda how he would of asked his lady on battle he wondered if thats how he looks like"
"Uh, I kinda planned on staying awake outside until I will collapse of exhaustion..."
"Well, thats a horrible plan."
"In retrospect, he agreed but its not like he had any other options" he thought to himself
"The only room with a decent lock is the bathroom but I cant let you sleep in the bathroom!"
"I considered sleeping outside so this sounds much better"
"Chat!" She protested
"Its not like I have any better options" he sighed into his hand
"Okie but Im putting a clock to 5 in the morning so you will be back before anyone notices"
"But then what about you? dont you need any sleep?"
"I dont think I will fall asleep befor 5 am to be honest" she made an awkward laugh in an attempt to make it seem not as bad
"And, having company for a change even if will be a sleeping one soon is nice."
She looked up to him still resting on his lap with a soft smile that looks like it means Im really thankful you are here but you need to go to sleep now
"Marinette I-" he couldnt help but let a sigh of relief escape his mouth "I cant thank you enough"
"Hey what there are partne- pretty good friends for!"
"She started stammering. Now he was sure she was too tired for communication and needed some rest"
"So lets get ready for the sleep part in our kind of spontaneous sleepover!" she said like it was all part of just a regular late night party
He chuckled and replied with a simple sappy "yeah" and he got ready to bed
And in a long time he actually had a good sleep even though it was in the bathroom
The end <3
Update: thank you everyone for the feedback!!!
#miraculous ladybug#ladybug#marichat#mlb#mlb fanfic#ml fanfic#ml fic#mlb fic#fic#fanfic#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#miraculous#ml#ml marichat#marinette dupain cheng#chat noir#ml angst#angst#hurt/comfort#mr fic#mr fanfic#long post#my post#tumblr doesnt let me reply#but I really appreciate#the comment#✨#(and my friend feedback too ✨)
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I want to read your new Shinsou fic but I cannot believe you made a disabled reader.. No one can relate to that!!! Your probably only getting like 5 notes for that shit
im gonna... im gonna take a moment and be like. grown up with you and try to give u some perspective bcos uh
some people read reader fanfics they cant always relate to.. like even if it isnt a perfect self insert experience, they still read it and enjoy it!!! they can still immerse themselves and ignore the parts that dont fit them exactly. every day, someones always doing that
do you know how i know? bcos as a nonbinary disabled poc i CONSTANTLY read fem!reader fics with able bodied readers who blush and have light skin or descriptions that tells that with like. NO PROBLEM? and i STILL ENJOY THEM? ISNT THAT BUCK WILD!!!!
i am happy that theres still PARTS i can enjoy and relate to!! and mostly i still enjoy them bcos even if the reader isnt ME, the writer's writing style or humor or metaphors or characterization is what gets me excited
i am not and will not be forcing any abled body users on this platform to read my fic bcos they have AN OCEAN of fics available to them if they just scroll one post further. theres endless fics for them and i dont mean to be rude but i feel like you are very lucky, if this is ur reaction to someone publishing a fic that doesnt cater to your looks or life specifically.. like jesus christ ur audacity skdndn
i am HAPPY for the people who's got so many options that they can ignore my fic, no sarcasm, i literally am. i am also jealous of their privilige but thats more when im tired or bitter or exhausted and it is not my go-to emotions about them! if you're lucky enough to be have a abled body, i get that youre more likely to skip my fic and choose something that caters more correctly to you - whether or not my writing style is good or to your tastes
but by being the minority.. and experiencing this daily - all i hope is that by writing this fic and posting it online, some people (even like abled bodied ppl etc) will reblog and spread the word of my fic anyway, to their silent disabled followers - like me. ive followed most of the disabled writers i can find within my fandoms and sometimes. sometimes someone reblogs or posts a fic with a disabled reader - whether or not the person who reblogged it is disabled - and i get to read a relatable reader insert and let me tell u: its a drop in the ocean, not the ocean itself. thats ur part. but the immense joy i feel upon stumbling over one and seeing myself in them, like you probably do when you find one you like!!! THATS what i wanna give people!!! that FEELING you also get when you find the perfect reader fanfic!!
so honestly? i sincerely do not mind YOU not reading it and thats saying it politely <3 my writing style is amazing, my disabled reader content is amazing and if you're disregarding a 20+ THOUSAND WORDS work of fucking art, just bcos 'the reader isnt completely like u' well thats ur LOSS
#nohr.talks#inked coffee fanfic#UR AUDACITY IS LIKE WHAT GETS ME THO LMFAO im rly trying to be the adult here tho#disabled reader fanfic#i wanna tag this w bnha bcos ur most likely from there lol but i do not wanna flood the tags <3#i should print this and put it on my wall#ALSO LIKE IM NOT HATING ON WHITE OR ABLED OR FEM READERS BTW !!!!!#MY POINT IS MORE THAT this person is super priviliged and an asshole lol#ALSO JOKES ON U ITS ALREADY GOT 7 NOTES U DUMB HOE LMFAO
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To Risk It All
Idol: Kim Taeyeon (Girls’ Generation)
Request: Yes
Anon: hi! you're one of my fave writers & i want to say that im absolutely in love w/ your works! can i request a taeyeon scenario wherein she tries her best not to let the public know abt their relationship because she doesn't want ppl hating on s/o that they can't even enjoy a simple date outside? s/o was fed w/ it so they got into an argument? tae eventually apologized & took it upon herself to reveal their relationship to the public? im sorry if this is very detailed btw :( i hope it's okay!
Author's note: theres no need to apologize! detail is actually really nice because it makes writing the story better
Years of being under the spotlight has given the idol a lot to learn. After being harassed from dating a junior, being bashed for a member being kicked out of their group, and losing a friend where she was forced to hide her own depression, she’s learned how privacy would always be intruded by many.
At first, she didn’t want to think too much into the relationship she had with you. You were someone she met at some cafe, as cliche as it sounded. She accidentally poured her drink all over your shirt and she ended up apologizing profusely and insisting to buy you a new shirt.
She found comfort in you for the little time you spoke when picking out a shirt. You knew who she was, yet you treated her like a regular person, something she’s been wishing for in a long while. When she realized that you were someone she could talk to, she asked for your number and if it was okay to meet again without the accident, and you happily agreed.
When she started to fall for you, her fear started coming back, too.
She had to be professional about it, but she also didn’t want to lose you. So she kept those feelings down and tried to be as normal as possible around you, though she couldn’t help it when butterflies would swarm inside her stomach whenever she saw you and how the world seemed brighter when you smiled or laughed
It put her at ease.
So one night, she thought that maybe it would be okay to just be herself around you and her feelings poured out of her like a waterfall. It would have been alright if you rejected her, that would have been much easier. But instead, you initiated the kiss right after she told you and all things came flying out the window.
You weren’t too bothered with having to keep the relationship a secret and she appreciated that. She could just enjoy her time with you in private.
But not all things last forever since two years after, Dispatch decided to come and ruin her life once more. There have been some pictures of the two of you, but your faces were always covered due to Taeyeon’s request. It kept you protected and even if people noticed her, they wouldn’t know who was with her.
“I know, Tae. I just wished we could do something else.” You sighed while you sat on the couch, fingers running through your hair whilst she crossed her arms, lips pursed together. “We can but... just not now. It’s too risky.” She says and you know because you’ve already heard this before.
The conversation has been reoccurring, much more now with Dispatch keeping a close eye on her.
It irritated you.
Yes, you knew that this was going to happen when you first started seeing each other. But you didn’t think that you would nearly be on house arrest just for it. It felt suffocating and restraining and it wasn’t healthy, to either of you.
“Then why don’t we just tell them. At least that way, we don’t have to keep hiding.” Her head whips to you, looking at you as if you had grown a second head. “Y/n, the reason I don’t want us going out is that they don’t find out.” She emphasizes and it doesn’t help your frustration.
“Then what are we supposed to do? Even coming here is risky for you because everyone knows you don’t live her. If people saw you, that’s it. And then what?” You finally snapped. “I can’t go out to see you, we can’t be seen together, then what’s the point?” Your words made her heart rate rise. It was scaring her because it sounded like there was only one way out of this, if she chose not to come clean.
“I’ve told you, I’m doing this to protect you.” She breathes out and you stare at her with a frown, doing your best to stay calm with the situation you were both in. “I don’t need you to protect me, Tae. I am more than capable of handling myself.” You tell her, voice lower compared to your outburst earlier.
“I don’t want them to start sending you hate or threats. I don’t want them to suddenly walk up to you and potentially hurt you. You mean too much to me for that to happen and I can’t forgive myself if something bad happened to you because of me.” Tears were threatening to come from her eyes, but she didn’t want to let them out. “If you do, then you would have enough faith in me and our relationship than the fear of what everyone else will say or do.” You reason, standing up and then walking towards the bedroom.
Taeyeon was left in the living room, staring quietly at the spot you once occupied and let out a deep breath. She had to run her fingers through her hair, doing her best to brush her exhaustion and anxiety away. This was one of the things she wanted to avoid, yet here she was.
Looking at the bedroom, she chewed on her lower lip before she shook her head and walked inside. With a quick look at you, back to her with the blankets pulled up to your chin, she slipped in behind you, doing the same and curling up under the covers.
..
The next day was a little calmer compared to last night. When Taeyeon woke, she saw that you were already awake and had breakfast prepared, though after a little panic of waking up alone in bed.
Sometime during the night, you both ended up tangled together, bodies close, without realizing. And when you woke up, that was the same position you were in. It made your chest tighten because as much as you wanted to keep this relationship going, it was too tiring for both of you.
"Good morning." Her voice was gentle, careful as she entered the dining room and sat down while you offered her a small smile. "Good morning." You greeted back while taking a sip of your coffee.
There was a pause and you both have to admit that this was one of the most awkward breakfasts you've ever had. Neither of you could look each other in the eyes, and neither knew what to actually say. But thankfully, her phone rang and stole her attention away, and judging by the grimace on her face, you could only guess who it was and what it was about.
“Go ahead. I’m going to work, soon.” You tell her, picking at your food since you didn’t really have the appetite to eat anything and Taeyeon bit her lip. “Y/n, I’m really sorry about last night but I will fix this. I promise.” She tells you, reaching for your hand to give it a squeeze and you try not to sigh and give her a weak smile. “Okay.”
Taeyeon left your place with hesitance. She drove all the way to SM, thinking about what could possibly happen and what she could do. She didn’t want to keep hurting you like this, it was unfair. And then your words from last night echoed in her head when she got to the parking lot.
Staring at the wheel, her hands went loose before dropping to her lap. She had to take a minute and actually think of this whole thing. If she kept hiding you away, these fights would only keep on escalating and the risk of losing you was slowly rising, too. But if she did come forward and told everyone, the possibility of them hurting you scared her beyond belief, but you convinced her that you were capable of protecting yourself and she knew firsthand that you could.
It was just a battle between her own fears and she wasn’t sure which side she would be taking. Glancing at her phone, she sees the picture she took of you when you were sound asleep next to her.
Looking at it now, she knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you. It was just something she hasn’t told you yet.
At that moment, she grabbed her things and finally exited her car to go and get this meeting over with, her head held high as she steeled her resolve. She wasn’t losing you. That, she was certain of.
..
Coming home after a tiring day, you kicked your shoes off before dragging your body over to the bedroom, dropping your keys on the counter as you passed, but your hand stopped mid air when you saw Taeyeon sitting on a chair, wringing her hands together. When she finally looked up to meet your gaze, she gave you a smile before standing up.
“You’re back.” She breathed out and you blinked in confusion, slowly putting your hands on the table while she bit her lip and then carefully handed her phone to you, an article pulled up that was dated today, published just a few hours ago. “What’s this?” You ask hesitantly and she just gives you a pleading look.
You look down, immediately seeing the picture of your girlfriend but was quickly followed by the one you were both in and you already felt your breath hitch in. After a quick glance at her, you let yourself read the contents of the article, slowly feeling your muscles grow less tense when you saw that Taeyeon had confirmed the rumors of her seeing someone.
“You...” You choked out while putting her phone down and she let out a breath. “I thought about what you said and... you were right, that I shouldn’t let other people control how my life goes.” She looks at you, her eyes shining as she reaches for your hand like she did that morning.
Taeyeon has endured so much throughout her career, but all the hardship brought her to where she is now. It was what brought her to you and she believes that maybe this is what life planned out for her. With a steady gaze, she squeezes your hand. “I want to be with you. I want to live the rest of my life with you.”
Your eyes softened as you took in her form. Your girlfriend was truly an admirable person and you just wanted to take all that suffering away from her. But it also moved you how she was willing to tell people that she was dating again even after what happened before. But the last bit made you freeze while analyzing her features, trying to see a sense of doubt, but there was none.
She stared at you with nothing but certainty and love and it was enough for you as you pulled her into you and pressed a long kiss against her lips, one she happily accepted with her arms wrapping around your neck.
You would both be okay, even through the hate. She had always been afraid, but now she was more than willing to risk this career. Because unlike this, you gave her a sense of comfort and security.
She would be damned if she gave that happiness up.
#girl group#girl group scenarios#girl group imagines#girls generation#girls generation scenarios#girls generation imagines#girls generation taeyeon#taeyeon girls generation#kim taeyeon#taeyeon#taeyeon scenarios#taeyeon imagines
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today is my best friend’s birthday and it’s hard not to compare it to mine last month bc i spent the entire day alone and not many ppl reached out to me and for some reason he thought it would be fun to do one of those late messages that were like “real friends say happy bday last” or something except that meant he didn’t talk to me all day and i thought he forgot on top of not coming back from his over a month trip away in time. (we have spoken about how this text thing was a mistake lol) anyways i spent most of the day feeling forgotten and lonely and miserable and now for his bday i sent him flowers and his gf sent him a plant and ppl keep reaching out asking if we’re planning anything for him and i’m trying to make tonight special bc it IS and it’s just like i am actually alone? it’s hard to explain but it’s the separateness i have always felt and now i know what it is which helps but also knowing what it is also means knowing that nothing can really change it. like i’m going to be autistic forever, i’m not magically one day going to be normal and have normal relationships. and i don’t even want that, like that’s kind of the point. i don’t wish to be normal anymore outside of wanting how i already am to be considered normal. i’m not close to any other autistic people and as much as the ppl i am close to accept and love me they just don’t GET it. and i can’t really talk to them about it bc when i do they just don’t get it. like i’m not alone bc i don’t literally have anyone, i am alone in no one understands me no matter what i do. like how we’ll never really know how our pets experience the world. im realizing that just how i exist is drastically different than the people i know and it’s isolating and lonely and i wish i knew more ppl like me but how tf do you even do that. i can’t keep trying to conform to neurotypical life (and i was always failing at it anyway) but i’ve also never seen someone like me live a life i’d want. i don’t have a blueprint to follow like other people and that’s always been my issue. making your own blueprint is exhausting. it’s also weird to feel this way in regard to your best friends when they truly aren’t doing anything wrong like they’re incredible. i’m just literally disabled and they aren’t
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do you have any advice for ppl in majority white fandoms trying to...just enjoy it??? im in a few and normally everything is fine but recently when somebody points out something like whitewashing a character they get shut down and he rest of her popular blogs/ppl just, ignore it. they act like it's not a important conversation or try to stray away. and it's INFURIATING bc these ppl have had week long discourse abt whether a character had CHEST HAIR!!! part 1
but for some reason they can't talk abt how valid accusations of whitewashing may be? this paired with the fact that I recently found out the author has been called out for writing a book that was super racist towards asians and biracial ppl and NOBODY had ever mentioned it before AND that none of the popular bloggers said anything abt blm all through june bc "their blogs were safe spaces" and they didn't talk abt "political stuff" on there. part 2 im SO sorry this was such a long ask but I've just seen how well u manage to handle things like his in the pjo fandom with the help of other fans of color and i just was wondering if u could give any advice bc i... Have No Idea how to handle this. part 3, the end
it’s frustrating and it’s infuriating and at times it makes me want to rip my hair out. I know what you mean and it burns me up inside seeing the same people who reblog a cute little blm graphic focus for weeks at a time on discourse about insignificant details completely ignore actual legitimate issues.
I think the best advice I could give you is to become friends with your block and unfollow buttons. Sometimes, the coolest, funniest, smartest bloggers on your dash could be the same ones refusing to acknowledge issues or actively contributing to them. It sucks, but taking them off your dash is the first step to actively improving your online experience. Even if it’s a relatively small transgression on their part, it usually points to a bigger issue and you’ll probably be reminded of it every time you see them on your dash. It will suck and you will feel mean but at the end of the day it is YOUR dash and you shouldn’t feel stressed whenever you log on. Make boundaries and stick to them.
Another bit of advice I’d give (that was also echoed by most of black pjo discord when I asked if they had anything to add lol) is to find your people. Follow bloggers of color, form connections with like minded people. Not only does this help with feeling isolated, it also gives you a good place to vent because they probably go through the same thing. One good way to do this is to form discord groups (for example: black fandom discord, poc fandom discord, lgbt fandom discord, etc.).
and don’t feel like you have to hold yourself back! If you want to speak up or call someone/something out, do it. I rant on here all the time and so many things that I think are just me things tend to resonate and spread, and eventually they start to actually sink in to the overall fandom. A few years ago, people didn’t blink twice at white washed art, but it’s a lot better now that people have spoken up on it. HOWEVER, do not feel like you have to speak on everything and be a spokesperson because that is exhausting. but if you feel like you have something to say, say it.
I’m not going to lie to you though. Sometimes the negativity is so pervasive that you have to leave. I recently took like a break from tumblr and genuinely considered not coming back or just restarting my blog. I came back and decided to stay after doing a mass unfollow, but were it not for the people I interact with and enjoy seeing on my dash, I would’ve been long gone. If you unfollow and you block and you do everything you can and your dash still feels like a punch in the face, think about cutting your losses. take a break from tumblr and see how it feels. gauge whether you actually enjoy being online or if it’s become something that drains you now.
most important of all never ever ever let someone who is not affected by racism/sexism/homophobia/colorism/etc gaslight you or tell you you’re being overdramatic. ever. it is almost always to preserve their own comfort rather than to actually help you. trust your gut!! more often than not, it’s right.
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