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centaurisolarflare · 2 years ago

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König Headcannons – Part II:

If I wasn’t clear in my last set of sfw headcannons, I interpret König as having ADHD and Social Anxiety Disorder. I’m going to get into some diagnostic criteria and give some of my headcannons for how they appear for König specifically, and some blurbs throughout because I never learned how to stop talking.

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia):

Anxiety surrounding social situations in which there is the potential for scrutinization. I think König’s anxiety would be particularly focused around interactions (conversations, meeting new people, etc) and being observed.

- He isn’t comfortable with crowds, the dislike of being surrounded by people is intensified by the tinge of constant situational worry that comes with being a soldier.

-- If you take busy public transport, where there’s people packed into a bus or a subway car, he’ll sit bouncing his leg and playing with your hands. If you’re standing, he’ll be right behind you with one arm around your waist keeping you close against his chest; if it’s a particularly bad day he’ll hunch himself over to bury his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in the smell of you and trying to ignore everyone else.

- Even in more regular social situations he’s got this habit of coming up behind you and resting his chin or cheek on your head. You’re used to it, often grabbing his hand and putting it on your waist, but the reactions from whoever you’re talking with range from befuddlement to discomfort, to outright terror at this massive dude just lingering directly behind you.

- He does not like having his picture taken, especially when he isn’t aware that the picture taking is happening. He will get upset if anyone refuses to delete photos they took without his knowledge and permission.

-- He does, however, usually let you take polaroid with him – they develop soft enough that his worries about the photo being horrible are eased, plus he finds he’s fond of the way you’ve got them tucked around the house. Once you took a polaroid of him that he clearly didn’t like, he wasn’t really saying anything about it but you could tell, and you fucking lit it on fire – you went and got a zippo and burnt the fucking thing. He was oddly touched by your wiliness to commit a small act of arson purely for his comfort.

- I also think he’d not particularly like eating in front of others – as a result of his anxiety he thinks people watch and judge him more than they do, and there’s too many opportunities for something to go wrong, so the threat of that embarrassment causes him to take most of his meals alone.

-- The knock at his door is soft and measured, three knocks just loud enough to catch his attention but not startle him. He knows, really, before even opening the door, that it’s you. He wants to see you, he really does, but the thought of it kicks his heart rate up and he feels the urge to fidget with his hands or the edge of his shirt as he takes the few steps needed to reach the door. You’re standing there, holding two full meal trays, flashing a bright smile up at him as you explain that you noticed he’d left the mess hall without eating. You ask to come in and he wordlessly steps to the side, hesitating just slightly as he contemplates if he should ask you to leave – he reasons with himself that he’s confident if he did ask you to go, you would, and that’s reassurance enough to have you stay – before shutting the door behind you and praying he won’t do anything humiliating. You chatter about how you weren’t entirely sure what to grab him, setting his tray on his desk, and sitting cross-legged on the floor with yours balanced across your knees. It twists something unfamiliar in his guts when he looks at his tray and realizes it’s a fairly accurate representation of what he would have gotten himself. He thanks you, the murmur of his voice barely audible. Then, the battered slice of cake catches his eye. The sweets they serve on base aren’t ever particularly good, but it’s chocolate and, fuck, he loves chocolate. Usually these slices, provided to the base kitchens already in a small plastic container, are hard to get and it’s even rarer for someone to make it out of the mess hall without being forced to give it up on some grounds of hoarding. The way there’s frosting smeared on the inside of the container suggests you underwent that trial. You must notice him looking at it for longer than anything else and you immediately grin, devious and triumphant, and regale him with the tale of how you managed to sneak the cake out, all because you offhandedly remembered he’d mentioned once about liking chocolate. You even apologize for the dubious quality of it, and he thinks he could cry. The story gives him time to settle across from you with his own tray largely free of intensive notice. By the time you’ve shifted to discussing a different topic with him – giving his responses a genuine attentive regard that makes it difficult for his anxiety to think you’re secretly judging him – he swears if you ripped out his heart right at that moment, you’d find your name written all over it. It just… becomes a Thing™ to meet up like this for meals, in his room or yours. You always seem to know when to talk, when to turn your head away from him, when to let him think you don’t notice his fretting, and when to either coax him into conversation or sit in easy silence. He panics less about it. He finds himself becoming more and more comfortable with you – fond of the peculiar way you habitually gesture with your fork, how you’re always willing to split things in half to share, how you inexplicably manage to scrounge up hot drinks during the cold months – and he's surprisingly glad to have your company.

- An individual with social anxiety can be fearful of acting in a way that shows anxiety symptoms that will be seen negatively.

-- I think König would be worried most about being the reason people reject his company or take offense to his presence. He, at his core, wants people to like him, no matter how much he buries it. He has a hard time knowing whether or not you’re joking if you ever pretend to be disapproving or mad – his fear of driving you away, of you viewing him negatively, totally wipes away his ability to detect when you’re being sarcastic or playful. I think once you two are close he’d look to you in public settings for indications on when other people are kidding around or not – he trusts your evaluation of tone and social context far more than his own.

-- I also headcannon that one of the rare times he isn’t worried like this is when he’s really, really tired. When he’s exhausted, he’ll flop next to you, lean his weight on you, and laugh when you struggle to hold him up. This is when he’ll be the most blatantly transparent. You often feel like you should excuse yourself as soon as possible when this happens, but sometimes it’s on missions when he’s falling asleep while you keep watch and you can’t go anywhere; or at base when he’ll grab your wrist and ask you to stay, and how could you say no to him? All you can do is try to mitigate whatever comes out of his mouth, so he doesn’t reveal too much when he’s barely lucid. When he’s out of his mind tired is when he’ll look at you, starry-eyed and with no attempt to school his expressions into something less embarrassing, and whisper how beautiful and kind and perfect you are. He rarely ever remembers doing it – in his memories the comfort of your presence slots in seamlessly with the relief of collapsing on his bed for the first time in two days.

---- I think the same thing would happen if he’s ever on hella painkillers. He’s awake but definitely not all the way in his own brain so he’s just babbling about how wonderful you are. He’s just… narrating his thoughts. You’re the medic with him throughout the helicopter evac when he’s covered in more injuries than God should allow? You’re getting more of an honest confession of his feelings than the situation calls for. You’re the doctor moderating his recovery from a nasty concussion? Holy shit you’re going to hear about how you personally make the stars shine. Your whole medical team will know how he feels about you before he ever knowingly confesses.

- Avoidance of anxiety inducing situations.

-- I love him, but König has a frustrating habit of avoiding or retreating from you when his anxiety spikes. He needs a lot of reassurance that you don’t think of him the way his anxiety tells him you do.

- I also think, as a comorbid symptom, he suffers from a bit of body dysmorphic disorder regarding his height/size and his accumulated scars – he perceives these things, respectively, as defects and flaws due to the way they’ve only ever drawn attention to him in situations where he’d rather everyone not even notice his existence.

-- His heart is going to explode. It’s going to explode and shred through his lungs. Is that medically possible? He feels like it is. It has to be. Because this is the first time you’ve seen him in a short sleeve shirt and you’ve got your hands on his arms and you’re currently looking at the jagged silvery scar that curls across his bicep and- and fuck, he needs to remember to breathe. He offers the stories behind each scar you ask about nearly entirely on autopilot. Can you feel his pulse? He’s scared of what you think, even as you hum and trace your fingertips carefully over each flaw on his skin. He’s marred, he knows it, and he makes a desperate attempt at casualness with some quiet self-deprecating joke about how the scars are ugly, but they couldn’t really make the rest of him worse than it already was. He misses the mark by a fucking mile, apparently, because your hands go tight around as much of his forearm as you can manage to wrap your fingers around and you're staring directly into his eyes with the intensity of the goddamned sun. He wishes he could throw himself into the sun right about now. But he’s listening, mostly, when you tell him that he’s handsome and well-built and nothing even has the possibility of changing that, not to you. That you like his scars, the proof that he’s endured, and you wouldn’t change a single thing about him. He’s listening, mostly, he swears, but he’s also super fucking concerned about how his heart has definitely just exploded and every other organ in its vicinity is splattered across the inside his ribcage. He can’t function like this, for god’s sake, can’t do much more than offer a jerky nod and let you resume your exploration of his arms, littered with grumbling comments about how you can’t believe he doesn’t think he’s good-looking, has he looked in a mirror recently, is he fucking blind.

---- Bonus points if this somehow takes place before you’ve ever seen him without the sniper’s hood on; so he counters that you can’t possibly know if he isn’t hideous and you cut him off telling him he’s beautiful, and he’s like you’ve never even seen my face, and you tell him you know it’s pretty because it’s him and because it’s him it’s pretty, it has to be, regardless of anything, because he’s inherently pretty, and he just… has to blush about it for several business days.

ADHD

We all know about how our boy couldn’t be a sniper because he was 1.) too fucking big and, more to my point, 2.) couldn’t stay still. König has ADHD, argue with the wall.

- The inattentive criteria I think he specifically meets are difficulty organizing tasks, avoiding activities that require sustained mental focus, often losing things necessary for tasks, easily distracted by extraneous stimuli and that his mind seems to be elsewhere even in the absence of any obvious distraction, and he tends to be forgetful regarding daily activities.

-- I think for work stuff he’s got a whole mess of systems to help keep himself on task and completing everything he’s supposed to be doing – sticky notes in improbable places, a seemingly nonsensical ways of going about starting things, using things like the amount of time it takes someone else in the barracks common room to reload their clips as a timer for how long he has to do something of his own, etc etc. He'll drag his desk three feet to the left just so he'll notice it in the morning and remember something. I think he very often writes things on his actual self with permanent marker, usually on his hand or forearm, if he’s really got to remember to do something. He might even have a more regular system for that, like a dot on his index finger means he has one important task to remember.

-- He fucking hates paperwork. It’s boring as hell and his brain never wants to do it. Very much “but I know who’s saying I have to get this done; it’s me, and I know I’m full of shit” vibes. Deadlines aren’t real until they’re tomorrow. He bribes himself with sweets or something he actually enjoys for every few pages he gets through – if you see him buying a pack of multitudinous candy from the vending machine, he’s likely got a stack of reports to do.

-- It seems like he’s got a staring problem, and most people are super intimidated by it, but he’s usually just spaced the fuck out. You’ve got this odd habit of crossing your eyes at him whenever you catch his gaze and he sort of refocuses; he doesn’t quite know why you do it, maybe just to communicate to him that you notice, but he finds it endearing.

- Hyperactivity and impulsivity – fidgeting, uncomfortable with being still for extended periods of time, excessive talking, an inability to wait for his “turn” in conversations or blurts out answers before the question is fully asked, difficulty remaining seated, and general restlessness.

-- Fidgeting. Don’t… don’t ask me to explain this, and it might not be everyone’s cup of tea… but… I think maybe, maybe, he’s got a lip ring or tongue piercing that he fiddles with. It’s a secret from his superiors, obviously, because that’s definitely not military protocol compliant, but I think with how often he’s got his hood on it wouldn’t be awfully hard to hide. I’m fixated on imagining him with one silver lip ring or a tongue stud, someone please explain to me why. Anyhow, I’ve mentioned before that he will fidget with your hands, but I also think he’s prone to messing with whatever’s near – whether that be a pen or a weapon or some part of his gear or clothes; he has a habit, of dubious safeness, of spinning a butterfly knife around and has more than a few small scars from where he’s accidentally nicked himself.

-- He’s prone to squirming if he has to sit somewhere for a while, especially if there’s not much for him to pay attention to. He ends up sitting super crooked most of the time.

-- I think he uses running or otherwise working out to burn off some of his energy, especially when he’s particularly restless and when he’s on base. He hates feeling stuck in the small room he’s assigned to sleep in, and there’s something satisfying and grounding about the ache in his muscles and the way he has to concentrate on his breathing.

-- When he’s comfortable with you, which absolutely took an ungodly long time, he will go on tangents and simply not shut up until he starts worrying that he’s annoying you. If you ask him about whatever his recent fixation is, he’ll be over the moon about it. Good luck getting anyone else to believe he can talk that much though, the most they’ve heard him talk is over comms in the field and that’s nothing compared to what you’re privy to. He always apologizes when he interrupts you, no matter how often you tell him you understand and that it’s alright.

Other prattling unrelated to me thinking way too much about psychology:

- Loves that you make the effort to learn how to pronounce his name correctly. When he’d first told you his name you said it back to him, asking if you had it right. He usually would just tell people they had it fine to avoid the awkward back and forth of trying to get them to say it right, but something about the way you looked at him made him actually give you the slight correction you needed. Then – and this is one of his endless fond memories of you – you sort of looked off into the middle distance, staring unfocused at his chest, and said his name softly over and over again with entirely correct pronunciation before giving a short nod to yourself, looked back up at him and continuing the introduction.

-- He’s watched you correct other people on their pronunciations, casually but like it was absolutely necessary that everyone else say it properly, and it never fails to warm his heart.

- Very rarely gets drunk but when he does, he’s the type of drunk to call you and tell you how amazing you are. Shit, he’ll tell anyone about you. Much like how he’s quietly honest when tired, but his drunk honest is louder and more social. Tells his teammates or friends how beautiful and clever you are, tells the bartended how much he loves you, tells the people next to him how smart and lovely you are, tells the closest table how you make him so happy. Someone tries to flirt with him, they tell him it doesn’t matter that he has a partner, and said person is now trapped in a lecture about exactly how much you matter to him, complete with photos.

-- If you end up coming to get him, nearly the entire place will say hello to you because he hasn’t shut up about you for the past hour. He lights up when he sees you, holding your arms and swaying slightly as he stares down at you with the biggest smile on his face, mumbling about “See? Didn’t I tell you? Didn’t I tell you how wonderful they are? See? Look. Look at you, so perfect. I love you; you know that? So much.”

- Loves when you steal his clothes. Cannot get enough of how you look wearing his shirts.

- I will accept criticism and differing opinions on nearly anything, but I am adamant that König has the sluttiest little waist. I think he was lanky before he started gaining serious muscle in the military, and now he’s a little more bulky but still has that litheness about him so his proportions just give him a slutty little waist. I don’t make the rules, he’s just built like that.

- I think, to an extent, he knows how to sew. Nothing fancy, and his stitches aren’t even or perfect by any means, but he knows how to mend worn patches and tears well enough. Hates threading needles. But if he notices you’ve got a tear in your coat or something of the sort, you’ll just find it fixed the next day. Left exactly where it was but mended. Like a house brownie. The only way you’ll figure out it’s him is if you catch him doing it.

- I know this lovely couple, both from a country outside where they currently live, and every time the husband travels back to their home country he’ll pack all his clothes and whatnot in a suitcase and then pack that suitcase within another suitcase. He does this so he can fill the extra suitcase with all the food and things his wife wants from their home country and take her back essentially a giant package of all the stuff she misses and can’t get in the country they live in. Long story short, if you’re not yet going home with him, König absolutely would bring you anything you wanted from Austria, even if he has to bring a whole extra bag.

- I don’t think he’d carry any sort of photograph of you with him during work or on missions. If there’s a chance of anyone getting their hands on the photo, of learning that you’re important to him, of hurting you or using you to gain leverage over him, he will not have anything on his person to even indicates that you exist. I think he’d love the idea of it, the romantic sentiment of having a polaroid of you tucked in a pocket over his heart, but he just isn’t willing to take that chance. On leave though, at home, he treasures every little sign that you’re around and involved in his life – from photos to the notes left on the kitchen counter, the way you kick off your shoes by the door, the hickeys and scratches that make it look like he got mauled by a fucking tiger, how you always text and ask if he wants anything while you’re out, and even just the fact that he knows at the end of the day he gets to crawl into bed and fall asleep with you next to him.

- Piggyback rides. You can jump up on this man whenever and he will go on about whatever he was doing as if nothing’s happening.

- If he’s drinking anything hot – it might be in a coffee cup, but don’t be fooled – it’s hot chocolate. He makes the real kind at home, with real chocolate and cream on the stove.

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chaibewriting · 3 years ago

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-> KITTY KAT! ft. alternative! tattooed! service top! choso x black! power bottom! reader

-> INSPIRED BY: kitty kat! by meg thee stallion.

-> NOTES: perfect song for my boy choso, and please do keep in mind that this is black! coded but can still be read if you desire, there’s no true specifications on skin color or hair type but i imagine a black! fem! reader in my mind. however, this could be for anyone, really.

-> WARNINGS: afab reader, she/her pronouns, adult content, overstimulation, choso is used like a f*ck doll, riding, crying, subby! behavior from choso, dry spells, unprotected sex, cervix fucking, pregnancy mention at the end

THAT gaze was intense. You couldn’t deny the immediate attraction you’d felt when you locked eyes with the man across the room. Dark orbs lingering over your figure with a hidden agenda behind them.

You took note of his appearance, silently observing him while chewing on your lip. His hairstyle sparked your fancy as well as the dark clothing he wore and the many fingers that decorated his slender fingers. You wondered what it would feel like to have the cold feeling of steel graze over your body, it was enough to make you stand up on your feet and begin approaching the man who’d been shamelessly ogling you from across the bar.

As you approached him, you nearly laughed at the sight of his eyes suddenly widening and his face burning just a slight bit on the peachy side. He can’t run away now, not with you actively pursuing him. The urge to ruin him was much too strong to ignore Surely, you’d have your way.

With each step, he seemed to shy away like an animal hiding away from a predator that held a hungered gaze. You weren’t that intimidating, were you?

When you finally stood in front of him, one hand on your hip with a raised eyebrow, you decided to make yourself comfortable, sitting beside him in an unoccupied spot in the booth he was in.

“Hm? Are you pretending that you weren’t just undressing me with your eyes a few seconds ago, pretty boy?” You asked, leaning back against the booth with a curious expression.

Clearing his throat, he sat up from his slumping position, the chains around his neck moving just a bit that to make some noise, “Mm… Never been called that before. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or anything like that. I just couldn’t look away— you’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks, you’re not too bad yourself.~”

…

CHOSO cums too fast, it’s obvious now. He just can’t seem to help himself, somehow he ended up balls deep in you and the both of you had been going at it for a good few hours, at least that’s what he thought, you seemed to not have any sort of off-switch. He always thought he could control himself easily when it came to holding back but… that was before he met you. That was before he got to touch every inch of your body with the pads of his fingertips and watch you bounce so prettily on his cock while staring down at him like you were going to take everything from him. He hated to admit it but he was on the verge of passing out from sheer exhaustion, you’d milked him dry and at this point all that was coming out was dry spells.

You sat on top of him, rolling your hips around in a slow circle as you used him to fulfill your desires, your fingers interlocked with his as you had them pressed into his mattress. Oddly intimate for two strangers that had just met for a quick fuck but this was turning into much more than that and you were letting it happen.

Smiling down at him with those beautiful eyes, he couldn’t help the way his heart skipped a beat and the way his cock stirred inside of you. Did you really have that much of an effect on him? You had only just met a few hours away and he was already planning out your future together. How many kids he wanted with you. When he planned on meeting your parents. Where he’d take you out on your honeymoon. Whether or not he’d be wearing a tux or not at your wedding. He couldn’t even control the whines and moans that left his lips so shamelessly in a flow of notes, all varying on the scale. He didn’t even know he was capable of making such noises but here he was, groaning and whimpering as you treated him like your own personal toy.

“You alright, Choso?” You asked him, pulling him from his daze with the sound of your voice and a sudden snap of your hips that made the tip of his cock press against your cervix which made him whine out in surprise, hips jerking upwards as he thrusted up into you, serving as an answer, the sound of his panting soon gracing your ears. You don’t remember when either of you had exchanged names considering that you were so forward in letting each other know you were willing and ready but somehow, in the midst of getting from the bar to his bedroom, he had told you want it was in the spur of the moment. Well, at least you had something to moan.

You stared down at him now, fully observing the state he was in. The poor guy’s neatly done hair was all over the place, bangs sticking to his forehead, the bands in his hair snapped and left his dark locks down and splayed out in a fountain on the sheets, chains glued to his neck, there even appeared to be tears in his eyes. Even the tattoos that covered his neck and majority of his torso was drenched in sweat. Maybe you went a little overboard..?… Nah.

“Oho, is this becoming too much for you? Ugh, you’re so cute,” you compliment, feeling a sudden burst of energy, turning your rotations into bouncing. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d done this or how you were even managing to hold on for so long. Maybe it’s because you just felt so excited about toying with this guy. Something about the slutty facial expressions he would make seemed to make your mind addicted and hazy. There was something so intoxicating about taking control of such a big scary man who exuded dominance but softness at the same time.

While you were having fun, milking the poor man beneath you of his non-existent kids, Choso was slowly starting to catch up onto your feelings towards him especially with the look you had been giving him. He didn’t know what it was about it but he felt like you were challenging him. Calling him weak without even saying it. It annoyed him. It confused him. It… aroused him.

So much to the point that something snapped as he took his hands from yours, replacing them to cup under your thighs and hold hem up, holding you up with ease as he pressed his feet flat onto his bed. The sudden take in control was surprising but you allowed him to do as he pleased, nearly folding in half when he’d began to fuck up into you without regards to your safety. The best he could manage was to tighten his grip onto your thighs to keep you from flying up into the ceiling with the powerful hit of his hips that would certainly leave your poor cervix aching. But don’t worry, he’s an expert at aftercare so even if you won’t be able to walk for a little while after he’s done with you he’ll treat you like a queen.

As he rutted into you from underneath he couldn’t help but to watch in amusement as a ring of white presented itself around the base of his cock, knowing all too well that it was a mixture of his essence as well as yours. That thought seemed to make him go even faster, where did this newfound energy even come from? It seemed that your enthusiasm had transferred from you to him and he had a new goal in mind. To impregnate you, a simple goal in his mind. Maybe it wasn’t the most… morally forward but that truly didn’t matter to him. It was your fault for telling him you didn’t want to use a condom anyways. Now you’d be stuck with him, consider it your own fault. Would you mind?

#jjk thirsts #jjk smut #choso #choso x reader #choso x female reader #choso x y/n #choso x you #x black reader #choso x black reader #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen thirst #jujutsu kaisen choso

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yeombin · 2 years ago

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part ii.i: the stars have fallen asleep

(prev - series masterlist - next)

pairing: beomgyu x fem!reader, soobin x fem!reader, platonic ot5 x fem! reader

genre: angst, fantasy, fluff - adaptation of an interpretation of the txt storyline

section soundtrack: link

word count: ~17k

chapter warnings: if anyone gets mad for the use of soccer instead of football, pls take it out on my americanized school system. also talks of cheating

a/n: endless thanks to @pastelsicheng whose help i couldn’t do this without ❤️ also thank you for waiting!! it’s been a hectic few months lol

Save him.

The voice echoed throughout the darkness, like a hand reaching out from above while you’re drowning.

Save him.

It repeated, yet the voice was like a skipping rock - bouncing forward, reverberating and echoing. Regardless, the voice was dainty, fragile; almost inhuman, almost ethereal. As if it was a guardian angel guiding you through the voice inside your head.

Save hi-

With your blaring phone alarm going off on your bedside table, you were startled awake - drenched in sweat. All you had to do now was find a way to calm your poor heart down. As if your hand was the cure, you rested it against your heart. Even the metal chain of your pearl necklace, which got caught underneath your palm, was a source of comfort.

In its essence, the dream - or well, nightmare - wasn’t new. Yet today, the details varied more than it regularly does. Since you were eleven, the same dream has recurred every full moon; a voice echoing around you, an outstretched hand from the darkness, mismatched eyes hidden within the depths of a forest. At eleven, you thought this was just a result of watching your first horror movie. It did make sense - the visuals of your nightmare accompanied by the sensation of being trapped by a pair of hands desperately clasping around your ankles dragging you into the ground was quite reminiscent of the plot of the movie.

But last night? The hands weren’t dragging you to the ground and instead, only held you in place. It felt oddly safe, as if they were protecting you from whatever being owns those mismatched eyes. Moreover, you weren’t alone. Instead, you saw five silhouettes - three running, one standing still, and one crashing to the ground. This was also the first time the voice told you to do something, not just some vague nonsensical advice you swear was your subconscious misquoting some bullshit from Harry Potter, Hunger Games, or hell, even Kung Fu Panda.

More specifically, the voice was telling you to save someone.

But who?

You glanced back at your phone, the alarm still blaring beside you as the haze of your vision disappeared. Pressing the snooze button, the date displayed on your phone only brought you misery. The sudden influx of notifications from your friend group complaining about the uniforms was the final nail in the coffin.

First day of school. “Can’t believe I’m a sophomore already.”

Your parents swear it was just yesterday you were in elementary school, sitting in Mrs. Kwon’s room - staring at the alphabet on the whiteboard. You would like to believe you vaguely remember it yourself, although you have to admit you can only recall one story; a boy in art class who dunked his hair into a pot of paint (instead of his hands) for his hand (well, head) print. It was an unclear memory - bits and pieces lost to the passages of time, but your parents always said you were best friends with the boy; always walking out of school together, hand in hand.

From downstairs, you hear your mom calling. “Come eat breakfast! You have to leave soon, or you’ll be late!”

An unfortunate but currently unchangeable fact of life is that you live quite far away from the school. From your knowledge, not many students live too far off from Hyejijum High. Most live in the area; whether it be just around the corner or a ten minute walk. For you, the journey - shortened significantly thanks to the train - could take up to an hour and a half. On average, the train trip takes about forty five to fifty minutes.

Your route? Two blocks down the road, take the left at Choi’s convenience and bakery, and then continue straight until the train station is in sight. Annoyingly, you still have to turn a corner after that as the station only has one entrance and exit. But, it's the price you pay for a quiet night life, less traffic on the roads, and a super safe suburb. From the train, wait five stops and you’re essentially just outside Hyejijum High.

The route initially seemed impossible to memorise, too many smaller details that will get lost in sleepiness. However, now it's practically your muscle memory.

Earphones blasting whatever music was on your Spotify Daily Mix, you were mentally preparing to get back to school.

gorgeous gorgeous girls

lia: we just got to school and it's SO different this year

yeji: she’s exaggerating haha the toilets are just nicer

lia: automatic faucets!!!

y/n: lmaoooo ofc lia would fangirl over faucets

karina: is @lia still able to meet before class starts?

lia: should be!!

ryu: just woke up, will be there a bit late lol

After two whole months of summer where some of your friends were out of town, you can finally be all together again. Due to having family abroad, Lia had left while Karina was travelling. In that time, you got much closer to Ryujin than you initially expected. In fact, both your families came together for dinners in response to how much time you two were spending together. She was with you when your parents would ask you what you wanted to do in the future, who you wanted to be. A question to which the answer was still so far from your grasp, and Ryujin provided (extremely) appreciated relief when she admitted confusion too.

For now, your answers were based on your elective choice; biology and chemistry.

Upon the sight of your favourite landmark, you knew you were almost at the train station. Should I get something? Choi’s bakery was the staple in your neighbourhood. Everyone knew it, loved it, relished it. Each and every product was mouthwatering, from their most intricate baked goods to even their most basic loaf of bread. You remember how when you would go to the middle school in your neighbourhood, your snack breaks would purely be some sort of pastry from Choi’s.

Your internal debate was soon interrupted by a voice breaking through the music playing from your earphones. “Hi, sorry, excuse me?” Taking off one earphone, you smiled at the awkward boy in front of you. Tall, for sure. He looks familiar, however, in your suburb? Everyone has seen each other at least once. “Do you go to Hyejijum High?”

The question, if asked on another day, would’ve been creepy. Most people in the town go to the suburb’s high school, staying within the area. If a stranger comes up to you and asks you if you attend a school that isn’t common for children in your area? That would be a bit freaky. However, you knew why he got the suspicion: you were wearing the famous Hyejijum High uniform. Honestly, you’re assuming he asked so he doesn’t look creepy compared to if he just (even correctly) assumed you were going there.

“Uh, yeah! Do you?” Again, a question with an obvious answer. While you may be wearing the Hyejijum female attire - a white button up, the navy blue vest and gold crest, and a school skirt- he was wearing the same but with the uniform pants.

He nodded. “Do you mind if I ask you how to get there?”

A new student, the realisation dawned on you. You remembered your first day as a freshman last year; you were in the same position as him now. Awkwardly approaching someone wearing a similar uniform at the train station, all you wanted to do was clarify your train stop. Upon arriving at the school, you learnt you asked the school’s ‘it’ boy Yeonjun. How did you know? As soon as you arrived, a crowd flocked around him. It was especially impressive, considering he was only a sophomore then.

Okay, maybe you’re exaggerating about the crowd - but it was surely more than ten people who rushed to his side as he got off the train. Based on your extensive knowledge of TV and Film stereotypes of ‘popular kids’, you can definitely tell he meets all the requirements - except the one of being a dick. He was lovely to you, making small talk throughout the train ride, but after learning he was an ‘it boy’, you refused to make eye contact with him for the rest of the year (even when he tried to wave hi).

“Oh, you can come with me if you like!” You invited, now taking off your earphones completely and stuffing them into your pocket. I really appreciated when Yeonjun offered the same, you remembered, I should do the same. “My name is Y/N, by the way. What’s yours?”

The boy smiled wide and gratefully, “I’m Kai! I’m a freshman so I may just be a tad bit lost.”

“Just a tad?” You teased, now walking past Choi’s bakery without getting any of their delicious treats. Almost immediately, you regretted teasing him as his face turned pink. Regardless, he laughed loudly. His laugh was particularly special; it was loud and fun. It’s a good laugh, you decided - smiling to yourself. “I was the same though, don’t worry about it.”

You felt an odd and overwhelming urge to protect him. Why? I just met him. Sure, he was cute in a playful way - you wanted to hug him and squish his cheeks. But why does he feel familiar? And not just in a passerby sort of way? Maybe you knew him from your childhood…or even a past life, if you believe in that. “What year are you?”

“Just a year above you.” He nodded thoughtfully at your answer. “May I see your schedule? Who’s your homeroom?”

The two of you slowed down so that he could shuffle around in search of his phone. As the ‘epitome’ of modern education in your greater area (as seen by the automatic faucets, obviously), the school has moved towards turning everything but teaching online. “Someone named….Mrs. Ho? Do you know her? Did I say her name correctly?”

You grinned. Mrs. Ho, or as she prefers Mrs. J, was your homeroom teacher too. Even if she wasn’t your homeroom, she is the guidance counsellor for freshmen that every student loves (but every parent hates due to her absolutely unrestricted candour). Having her as a homeroom teacher? Kai is one absolutely lucky student, especially when you hear horror stories of other homeroom teachers like Mr. Sooman. “She prefers Mrs. J, and she’s absolutely great. She was my homeroom teacher too.”

Relief washed upon Kai’s face. It was evident how nervous he was; from his shaking and fumbling hands, his tense demeanour, and how his voice seemed quiet and uncertain (unlike his boisterous laugh). “Oh, and just to check, am I allowed to wear necklaces with the uniform? I heard from a friend that the school is super strict with its dress code.”

You heard those rumours too. To be honest, it is quite true. Hyejijum High bans wearing clothes that are not from their uniform or merchandise shop during school hours. There were also restrictions on hair colour, hair length (especially for boys), and hair styles. However, their only rules against accessories were no rings and nothing inappropriate.

“Yeah, absolutely. Look.” You pulled out your necklace that was tucked underneath your button-up. It wasn’t that you were hiding it, it’s more like it got underneath your shirt as you got dressed.

However, the action received a different reception than you expected. “No way!” Kai reached for his own neck, taking out his own necklace. “That looks like mine!”

Surely enough, he was right. Normally, this isn’t something too surprising - you’d just assume you shopped at the same stores. Considering the fact that the necklace was basically a pearl on a metal chain, it doesn’t get more common than that. However, it’s all about the details.

Both of your pearls seem to be opaque in its lack of opacity. In a way, you feel like you can see through it; yet what you see is definitely not in front of you - as if it was a portal to another world. It was mesmerising, almost enchanting. Both pearls have swirly designs, as if individual universes were existing in them. While Kai’s pearl was a beautiful shade of blue, yours was a deep green. Regardless of the spirals, it was clear the pearls weren’t painted and were naturally found like that. When you first met your friends last year, they asked to find their own versions - all stating to be so in love with the design. So you went on a search, and you came up with…nada, nulch, nothing.

You assumed the necklace was made using a specific practice or pattern that is no longer produced. Afterall, you were told this necklace came from your grandmother from her grandmother when they were just a little girl. You could never find replicas either. He vocalised the same thought; how a necklace relatively so simple is so rare to find.

“Maybe this is a sign we’re supposed to be friends.” He grinned, the two of you now returning to normal speed. His happiness when you (at the time jokingly) agreed was practically contagious.

If you remember correctly, Hyejijum High was constructed in the 1980s. Relatively new, yet the building remained brutalist in its design. It wasn’t unpleasant to look at; whoever designed it at least had the idea to add some colour. Known for its soccer team, Hyejijum High has an extensive sports program - highlighted by its humongous field, an indoor pool, and a series of courts and studios that annoy the students in the underfunded arts program.

At the sight of it, it was clear that Kai was intimidated as he started to hesitantly waddle towards the school. His eyes were as wide as an owl while he attempted to understand and make sense of everything happening around him.

“I know it’s a lot,” you sighed, also remembering how you were in a similar nervous state a year ago, “but you got this. Walking around the place will soon become second nature, promise.” Although you did say soon, you know it wouldn’t be within the next few weeks. With Hyejijum High’s endless hallways, it feels impossible to navigate. Although you can probably walk around and navigate, you definitely couldn’t be certain in giving directions. Ultimately, you decided to distract Kai from the bustling crowd of students going to their lockers. “Do you know anyone in your year yet?”

Your own eyes glossed over the crowd to find your own friends, however, you knew they would be in your usual meeting spot. “Yeah, I have one friend from my old middle school.”

“Which middle school did you go to?”

Kai’s grip around his backpack straps noticeably tightened as a group of girls bumped into his shoulder accidentally, the girls immediately apologising. “Do you know the one near the bakery? Choi’s?”

You nodded. It was the same middle school you had gone to. “Oh, why did you choose to come here?” Based on today, you can say that everyone but three students (yourself, and now Kai and his friend) from your middle school didn’t go to the high school in your immediate area.

He shrugged, “My mom got a flyer in the mail.”

“The flyer looks nice, Y/N!” Your mom exclaimed as you groaned about having to leave your friends, Chae and Winter. Admittedly, you can still see them outside of school hours - but it’s not the same. Who are they going to meet when you’re not with them? What inside jokes will you not be a part of?

“Is that really all your basing this move off?” You groaned, slamming your head into the wall (much to your own suffering).

Your dad sighed, “We’re still going to be in the village. We just think this school will be better for you. Even your guidance counsellor received a recommendation letter for you to go here.”

You rolled your eyes, “From who? Why do they have to recommend this place? Why didn't my guidance counsellor do it?”

“You should be really grateful, you know.” Your mom now tsk-ed, “You are getting a scholarship because of this recommendation letter from one of the city’s department of education officers…Mrs. Dae or something.”

Narrowing your eyes, you were beyond sceptical. “Why would they put so much focus and effort into one simple kid?”

“Hey!” Your father jumped in, now reaching out to hold your face in his hands, “You’re more than just a simple kid, you’re special. Honestly.”

Groaning, you stormed up to your room; locking yourself in (only to open the door when your mom called you for dinner).

“Where are you heading by the way? I can take you to your homeroom classroom or…”

Kai shook his head, interrupting you now, “I told my friend I’d meet him in the library. Do you know where that is? I don’t want to take up more of your time.”

“No, no, I’ll take you!” You offered, “Honestly, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Like you said, we’re destined to be friends.” The cheeky grin that came out during your conversation on the train reappeared. “Wait, pass me your phone.”

Inserting your contact details, you saved your phone number under ‘Y/N (Train)’. “In case you have any emergencies or questions or you just want to take the train with a friend, feel free to message me.” Under normal circumstances, you’d never do this. You weren’t often the person to introduce themselves or to invite others to future events. Even your friends here have introduced themselves to you first. Something about Kai just felt welcoming though, like you wanted to give him a hug - he looked like he could give the best hugs.

“You may be getting a lot of spam messages from me.” He laughed, “You really do not need to take me, if you have somewhere to be.”

You brushed it off, wanting to provide comfort to who seems to be (on first impression) a ball of sunshine. “It’s alright! What’s your friend's name? Did they mention which library?”

Unfortunately, the idea of multiple libraries seemed to shock Kai further. His shocked expression told you one thing though; he doesn’t know. How’d you expect him to know? “How about I’ll take you to the main one then, huh?”

Through walking with Kai to the main library (the other library’s only difference is the name), you got to learn more about him and his friend - Taehyun. The two have been friends since kindergarten, always partnered together for projects. Taehyun also lives in your area, however, he decided to come to school earlier than Kai wanted to understand the ‘lay of the land’. You also learned that Kai’s locker was 553 on the second floor; located in the hallway you decided to walk past (despite the additional two minutes) so that he knows where to put his stuff. Kai was also thinking of joining the band or orchestra, which you immediately responded to by saying you’d introduce him to your friend Lia.

Kai also got to learn more about you, although he mostly just suggested hanging out with him and Taehyun. “I think you’d like him,” he stated, “you two would get along I think.”

As much as you wanted to spend more time around Kai, you had to meet up with your friends. At this rate, Ryujin might already be there. Luckily, all that is left to reach the library is one more staircase.

The library was shared between the third floor and fourth floor. When you first got to school last year, you hid yourself away between he tall shelves - not really wanting to socialise with new people. You were super grateful that Yeji, Karina, Lia, and Ryujin introduced themselves to you. However, walking this way the first day of school makes you think about what you could’ve been doing if they hadn’t.

“Okay!” You exclaimed, clapping your hands and motioning to the double doors. “Here you go! It’s quite a maze in there, but I unfortunately have to go. Don’t ever hesitate to message, okay?” Based on your watch, classes start in ten minutes. You should be at the courtyard by now. Oh shoot, the realisation hit you, the student council meeting would’ve ended by now. “I’ll see you later!”

With the number of people you met and swore to meet again yet failed to, you can tell - and you hope - that you’ll see (or at least hear from) Kai again.

“Can’t believe I’m not the latest.” Lia teased, seeing you round the corner around the courtyard. “What were you doing? Did you miss the earlier train?”

Shrugging, you planted yourself between Yeji and Ryujin, “I was helping a new student around. They seemed nice!” Your friends raised their eyebrows suggestively, implying that this new student would be a new crush. “Not in that way!” You quickly objected, “He’s younger than us, he feels a bit like a younger brother.”

“Oof,” Ryujin jokingly grunts, “brother zoned before school even starts.”

Rushing to change topics, you turned your attention to Lia. “How was the student council meeting?”

“Not too interesting,” Lia started, taking a bite of what you can only assume is an apple that was supposed to be part of her breakfast, “but we started to discuss some events for this year. How do you feel about a formal? Or a carnival?”

Before anyone could respond, she interrupted the conversation she initiated. “Wait, don’t be late to the assembly today,” she directed her pointed stare at Ryujin - notorious for skipping the weekly assemblies altogether, “I’ll be making the opening remarks.”

“Of course I’d go,” Ryujin sing-songs, leaning towards Lia’s shoulder - before making a joking mocking face towards you, “for you!”

Karina perks up, “Does that mean Soobin will too?” Lia immediately nudged her to the side. Soobin was one of the student council representatives from your batch, and much to Lia’s dismay, is the subject of Karina’s infatuation.

“You know, you should just ask him out at this point,” Yeji started, although this conversation started to get filtered out while you scanned the courtyard.

Placed right next to the soccer field, you were quite surprised to see the soccer team already practising for the year. “Are you still thinking of joining the soccer team, Ryu?”

She ecstatically nodded, before motioning to Yeji and Karina - taking them out of their conversation. “Yeji and Karina will be my personal cheerleaders.”

“If I get into cheer, of course.” This will be Yeji’s first year while Karina joined last year in the second semester. All of you groaned at her response - Karina immediately reassured her, knowing so well that if the cheer team didn’t accept Yeji - they would be making the worst mistake of their life.

Lia asked, “When’s tryouts?”

Before Yeji or Karina could answer, a soccer ball came flying towards the table - knocking you directly on the top of your head, making you stumble slightly. The ball, after hitting your head, rebounded and bounced onto the wooden table - Ryu quickly grabbed it to prevent it from hitting anyone else.

An ‘apology’ in the form of a scream, followed by miscellaneous laughter, came from the distance.

“Are you okay?” Yeji quickly checked your head while Ryujin started to glare at the person who was sprinting over - their friend, laughing like a maniac, in tow. As of now, you can only assume he is the one at fault. You nodded at Yeji, watching as your friends passed you their water bottles to place against the pain. With the minor headache, you aimed your eyes at the wooden table - before ultimately closing your eyes.

The voice that got louder as he got closer seemed to be familiar. Was it from the dream tonight? It can’t be though, right? Maybe you’re going crazy from the ball hitting you too hard. Surely, that must be it. “I’m so sorry, oh my gosh.”

“It’s alright,” you started, not making eye-contact quite yet - trying to reduce the pain through limiting the amount of light entering your vision. “Just a mistake, right?”

Now that the initial shock has worn off, most of your friends are also laughing. Admittedly, you want to laugh too.

Ryujin, however, was eyeing the two who approached your group up and down. “Are you guys on the soccer team?” Although to the passerby, it sounds like an innocent question - you can hear the slight edge of annoyance in her voice as her free hand went to rest on your shoulder.

“Um, yeah.” One voice said hesitantly, the same voice who was profusely apologetic. The other, however, was quick to introduce himself.

“Yes! We got placed in the team last year. ” He answered cheerfully, “My name is Jeongin and this is my friend Beomgyu!” Beomgyu…you can assume he was the one who hit you.

“I’m assuming defence?” She returned the ball to the friend. Over the last academic year and this summer, you had learnt how to identify when Ryujin was annoyed. This judgement, you can presume, was her annoyance at their lack of aim on a Monday morning.

However, Jeongin doesn’t seem to pick up on this. You can’t blame him, Ryujin was really good at being subtle. “Offence actually!”

You decided to finally open your eyes, the pain finally subsiding. Turning around to find your attacker, you immediately made eye contact with soft brown eyes full of concern. You couldn’t deny you found him attractive; his features were rounded and welcoming - from his rounded lips and his heart shaped face. His eyes, however, felt magnetising. Why does it feel like I’ve seen these eyes before?

“Uh-hum,” Lia faked a cough, taking you out of your temporary trance. This is definitely going to be blackmail material, you thought - noticing the cheeky smirks on all of your friends’ faces. Thanks to this, you noticed his friend - snugly holding the ball underneath his arm - also wearing the same smirk, revelling in this moment too. You also noticed that Beomgyu wasn’t wearing a school uniform, instead donning a red sports jacket, white shirt, and black joggers. That certainly isn’t the soccer uniform either.

Pushing away any remaining pain, you smiled. “I’m all good, don’t worry.”

“This is Y/N, by the way!” Karina perked up, introducing yourself for you. To cover up the obvious attempt at being a wingman, Karina then introduced everyone else.

Let them leave, let them leave; a request that repeated like a mantra in your head, but it seemed like all your friends wanted to enjoy your misery.

Lia, who you thought would never want to purposely put you in situations you want to leave, joined in. “What year group are you guys in?” When will the bell ring?

Almost as if you had willed it to be, the bell did (finally) ring. The sound of the shrill alarm reaches even the furthest point of the olympic sized football field. “Oh shit, I have to change back into uniform before homeroom.” He looked back at you, before focusing his sight on the gravel floor, “I’m so sorry again.” With that, Beomgyu quickly escaped - his friend, still obviously enjoying this predicament, followed soon after.

While you focused on fixing your backpack (and waiting for Yeji as you two shared homeroom - which would be replacing the first thirty minutes of your first class for today and today only), you felt everyone’s eyes on you, watching your every move.

“Oooh la la,” Yeji started, smirking as she threw her bag on, “first the new student and now a soccer player?” Even if you weren’t looking at her, you could hear her smug smile and wiggling brows.

Throwing her arm around you, Karina joins in. “I think we have a little heartbreaker over here!”

You glanced back up at that, jokingly shoving off her arm as you challenged her. “Oh really? How many confessions did you get for Valentine’s Day last year?”

If you hadn’t wanted to see your friends today, you would’ve found an excuse to stay at home. Like every first day that exists, today was purely an introduction of the expectations for the year. Teachers went on and on about the curriculum, assessments, classroom rules, and in all honesty? All of it was old information or information you can deal with when the time comes. For now, you really didn’t have to think of the exam at the end of the school year.

One new thing you learnt today is that whoever decided your schedule hates you. While you have been wanting to see the freshman and his friend - you didn’t even pass by him in the halls. But you know who you did pass by? Beomgyu. As if by a twist of fate, Beomgyu appeared in almost every corridor you had to go through - especially when you were going in between classes with your friends. Hell, he’s even in your physical education class with Ryujin.

Another thing you learnt today? Hyejijum High sends an unnecessary amount of emails to your school email. From at least three emails reminding you of the final assembly in place of homeroom for the first week to the cafeteria menu for the next month - you spent a majority of the day ignoring the redundant lectures on class expectations and instead, emptying your inbox.

One email, however, was very intriguing. The subject line caught your eye even before you could delete it.

SUBJECT: SPECIAL PILOT CLUB - EXCLUSIVE INVITATION, STAR SEEKERS

FROM: HYEJIJUM HIGH COUNSELING <[email protected]>

Hello!

Welcome to the new school year. All of you were selected to join STAR SEEKERS, an exclusive new society that will be test piloted this year. We heavily implore you to attend today’s first session after school in dance studio 4. Any pre-existing after school commitments have already been made aware of your absence today.

We look forward to seeing you today.

Location: The Dance Studio 4

Time: 3:30 PM to 5:30 PM.

Sincerely,

THE STAR SEEKERS SOCIETY

Is this some sort of astronomy club of sorts? You weren’t into astronomy, and even if you were - it would be weird for the guidance counsellors to be aware of it. Who else was chosen? The simple email only plagued your mind with questions, one after another. In a way, the vagueness piqued your interest. If this was some strange marketing technique, it certainly was working. I can always peep my head in, you decided, and leave if I hate it.

So lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even realise class ended until Yeji started putting her stuff away. “Ready for assembly?” Like you, Yeji opted for the science pathway - deciding that she can go onto personal training in the future, so biology from science would help her in understanding movements in dance.

Nodding, you fumbled to put your laptop away. “Have you heard of anything called The Star Seekers before?”

While Yeji wasn’t on the student council, she practically knew everything that was going on at the school. You and Ryujin joke about her being the unofficial school spirit squad as you’re certain everyone knew who she was. If she was an upperclassman, she’d likely be in the same ‘it’ group as Yeonjun.

However, your usual informant seemed to be as lost as you. “No, is it a new astronomy club or a Dungeons and Dragons sort of thing?” She tilted her head, probing you for the same information you were trying to learn from her. I guess she didn’t get the email, you realised as you heard her repeat the name quietly as if it was foreign on her tongue.

“Nevermind, it’s nothing. Let’s see Lia shine?” You changed the topic, now ready to join the students exiting the lab.

“And see Karina be lovesick.” Yeji pretended to gag, “I used to be upset we weren’t all in the same homeroom, but I’m so glad she isn’t in our homeroom now.” You laughed, agreeing. If she was in your homeroom, she’d spend every Monday from 2:30 to 3:00 working up the courage to talk to Soobin.

Though your friend and her crush are now the topic of conversation, this ‘club’ still lingers in the back of your mind. Sure, conversation with Yeji always helps you take your mind off things - but there was certainly no way that could’ve been junk mail. The voice inside your head wanting you to check it out, to see if it’s legitimate came back - however, this time it wasn’t your voice. It was the voice from your nightmare.

Assembly flew past in a flash, although you have to thank Ryujin for that. Surprisingly, Ryujin was at the assembly hall early. With her early access, she threw her school and soccer bags over five seats - essentially reserving them for the four of you (Lia would have to sit in the front row) and Chaewon (Ryujin’s soccer friend who quickly also became a good friend of yours too). Granted, while Ryujin claims her teacher let her out early: you heard from Chaewon that it was because she slipped out before her class ended. You would like to believe Ryujin’s story more.

While their company and Lia’s five minutes of fame made the assembly some sort of enjoyable, you're unfortunately now forced to wait on campus without their presence. Like 99.99% of the school (the .01% being you, Kai, and his friend), your friends live nearby and could easily go home as soon as the bell rings. You, unfortunately, have to wait for the train scheduled every 30 minutes… or wait for the bus, which would be an even longer commute. Another inconvenient truth is that they all had lives outside of your friendship; Lia was part of the band, Ryujin and Chaewon played soccer, and Karina and Yeji were part (or, well, trying to be a part) of the cheer team.

So here you sat, alone, at your usual table in the courtyard. Despite the familiarity and comfort (and some false sense of ownership of the spot), you were prepared to duck at any sign of a soccer ball flying towards you - especially as the prospective soccer players lined up for tryouts. You spotted Beomgyu in the bunch, lined up with his friend. While looking around, you swore he made eye contact with you - leading to you quickly turning away.

Time is weird, you decided as the courtyard clock designed to let students know when class starts only gave you misery. What felt like a minute ago, you were leaving assembly at 3:00 and walking with your friends to their respective extracurriculars. Now, at the courtyard, the clock told you it was 3:14. Since 3:14, it felt like 15 minutes had passed - yet it’s only 3:15.

What can I do to pass the time? You searched your immediate area, your eyes landing on the same ones from this morning. Oh, so he is on the soccer team. Now wearing the soccer team jersey - an honour previous team members would have among those trying outs, you spot Beomgyu in the group huddle….although, his attention appeared to be on you.

Heart beating loudly, your eyes darted down to your phone. I definitely wasn’t looking, you defended internally, texting your group chat.

To: gorgeous gorgeous girls

good luck girlies!! (as if you need it) - let us know how it goes <3 currently praying that the star seekers thing isn’t as cult-like as it sounds

There’s only so much you can text to people who are currently preoccupied with tryouts and other activities. Unfortunately, despite your proximity - you were unable to watch Ryujin prepare for hers. As the male soccer team uses the left side of the field, the female team has taken over the right. Consequently, if you dare try to watch and support Ryujin you could either cross the field (and risk getting hit by yet another ball) or watch from a distance (and look like a creeper on Beomgyu).

Yeah, no. Your friends already have enough ammunition off that one interaction, you don’t want to give them another reason. Turning your attention to your phone, you decided to try again in researching Star Seekers. If they wanted to test-pilot at the club here, it must be somewhere else.

No results.

What on earth did you get signed up for?

Well…more like, who thought of you as a potential member for this club?

But most importantly, why are you so compelled to go?

Located on the top floor, just besides the tennis court, was the dance studio. You knew the way here quite well; Karina and Yeji often dragged your group to their personal dance rehearsals during lunch periods. Likewise, the layout was as you remembered it; a computer tucked away in the back of the room, one wall of pure mirrors, dance bars, and gym mat flooring.

You dropped your bag on one of the benches lined up against the wall before sliding down next to it. No one else was here yet, but then again - you were seven minutes early. Who would even come? Who met the criteria to even be invited? Who is the supervisor?

Endless questions, but you knew they all would - or at least, should - be answered soon.

Seven minutes left, every second felt longer than the last. Scanning the room, you noticed a lack of preparation. Was this all a prank? If this ‘Star Seekers’ club is as boring or as sketchy as you currently think, you could always just leave early. That’s the one thought keeping you from freaking out. Otherwise, if I’m trapped here - my parents could always sue the school.

There wasn’t much you could do while waiting. For the first time in your life, you were annoyed you had no homework assigned. Instead, you decided to try and…find your inner peace? You genuinely couldn’t think of anything to pass the time; your friends were at their own clubs and if you had to read one more dumb post online about Little Miss Tax Invasion or whatever, you’d lose all your brain cells. I’ll just close my eyes, you decided. At least with your eyes shut, the pain from the fluorescent light is significantly reduced.

“Hello?” A voice broke through the silence, echoing off the walls. “Are you here for the Star Seekers?” Despite being initially startled, you were grateful to have someone here. Opening your eyes, you immediately spotted someone everyone in the school would know - still wearing his uniform with his student council pin on display.

Soobin was also chosen? What do the two of us have in common? Is it a year group thing? You tried to rationalise why on earth you were chosen to be in the same club as the school’s favourite soft boy. What you didn’t realise is that this trail of thoughts made you stare at Soobin, wordlessly. “Hello?” He asked again, getting your attention.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” You stood up from your seat, brushing your palms on your uniform skirt, “Yeah, I’m here for Star Seekers. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

He smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks. “Yeah, Lia’s friend - right?” You nodded, partly surprised he recognized you. “I’m Soobin Choi.” Cute. He must’ve known he didn’t have to introduce himself, especially considering that he had to speak in front of the whole school not even an hour ago.

“Please tell me that as a student council member, you have an idea about what this club is.” You sat back down, motioning to the spot beside you (the one that wasn’t occupied by your bag) - to which he quickly accepted.

Turning pink, it was clear that Soobin had no clue either. “I was just invited as well. I thought it could be a good experience. That, and if it’s a good club with a successful test pilot - maybe more people can join.”

Quirking your eyebrow, you looked him over. He, like you, decided to lean all the way on the wall - resting your back against the solid surface. The divots in the wall may be a bit uncomfortable, but it certainly was more comfortable than holding you back up straight. “Why do you think we were chosen?”

“Not sure,” he shrugged, “I had to tell my parents that I was staying later than usual at the last minute, so that’s not great.”

You snorted; of course, that’s what he’s worried about. Your parents are happy that you’re staying behind at school, looking for clubs or spending time with friends. Even if sometimes, staying late makes you arrive just in time for dinner. “Are your parents super strict?”

Soobin shook his head. In all honesty, you weren’t sure what you were expecting; did he seem like he had strict parents? He certainly behaved more proper than a lot of people your age; he looked like he was taking good care of himself. You can tell that whoever his parents are would be proud to call him their son.

“Not necessarily,” Soobin commented. Shoot, his voice is truly calming too - not even when he’s just speaking for assembly. You’re starting to see why Karina’s crush on him was so intense. Of course, his voice is calming - you rationalised - he speaks at every assembly and you’ve had at least one conversation with him. “ I just help out at their shop every once in a while, and I live quite a bit away so it’ll take me longer to get back.”

Wait, Soobin…Choi? “Shop?” You asked.

“Um, I’m not sure if you heard of it. It’s like a local bakery in my suburb,” He smiled sheepishly, a small dimple poking out. “It’s called Choi’s Convenience and Bakery? We’re really known for…” Your jaw dropped before he completed his sentence.

“I love that place!” Leaning forward, your hand rested on his shoulder as disbelief took over. Someone else in your school live near you? And they happen to work at your favourite shop? You were even thinking of applying for a summer job there last year. “You sell the best pastries. I get breakfast there sometimes! I’ve never seen you around though?”

Soobin also seemed excited about this revelation, “Oh! I leave early.” He brushed off, and honestly - you don’t question it. Lia has to get to school half an hour earlier than you guys on Mondays - maybe he’s just adopted it as part of his routine. “Do you live in the area too? It’s like 40 minutes out. Not many students live there.”

“Do you know Kwangyuu Street?”

He eagerly nodded, “Yes! My aunt lives there!”

“I’m the fourth house down the street!” You started to chuckle, “You’re the first student here that I’ve met who also lives in the area.”

Soobin snickered, “Do you know that one TikTok sound?” Your brows furrowed. “The one that originated from Spongebob? It was like, if I had a nickel for every time that happened, then I'd have two nickels…” He trailed off, his eyes searching your face for any sense of recognition.

“It’s not a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice?” You tried to finish, to which he excitedly nodded. Okay, you can fully understand how Karina is heads over heels for him; something you admitted when Soobin ran his hand through his hair, revealing his full face that was always hidden behind bangs. There was no denying how cute he was; with his wide gleaming eyes and charming smile. “You don’t know anyone else from our area either?”

“Not really,” He grinned, happy to have found someone to trek with, “how about you?”

You search your brain, “Well, I know Yeonjun uses our train stop so I’m assuming he does - oh! And I met a kid today who -”

The door opened once more, causing you to glance at the clock. 3:32.

“Speak of the devil!” A whisper under your breath soon became a full exclamation as you jumped to your feet to welcome your new friend from earlier today. “Are you stalking me? I was just talking about you!”

Excited squeals filled the room; an unfortunate situation for Soobin and Kai’s acquaintance’s ears. “It’s you!” He hurriedly pulled you into a hug. Normally, you don’t hug people you meet the same day - but it felt safe with Kai. Who could deny him? Once the hug finished, he reached behind him - pulling someone into the room with him. “This is Taehyun!”

Have I seen him before? You have to assume you saw him in passing - maybe near Choi’s bakery, or maybe he just has one of those faces.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Y/N.” As much as you were happy to see the two of them, it meant one of your theories as to why you were all here was disproved. So the criteria wasn’t based on batch.

Taehyun’s mouth formed an O-shape as he realised who he was speaking to. “It’s nice to put a face to the name! Kai was telling me about you all day today.” His statement was quickly followed by an ow as Kai hit his shoulder. You, however, were curious. What was he saying? Hopefully all good things.

Kai seemed to notice this, quickly jumping in to explain. “I was saying you seemed really cool and how you knew someone in orchestra and band and how you give good vibes and…” Deciding to save him from rambling, you jumped in and thanked him for the compliments.

Saving Kai from any further embarrassment, Soobin quickly introduced himself. It was in this round of introductions that the door opened once more, revealing the same face you’ve been trying to avoid all day.

3:35.

The next face that appears is one that makes you want to groan. Why him? Of course, it is Beomgyu - the same boy from earlier. He’s wearing the soccer gear you just saw him wearing a while ago, his hair plaited with sweat across his forehead. “Hello!” He excitedly greeted, before his eyes lied on you. “Oh.”

You just nodded at his acknowledgement.

“My name is Soobin, and you are?”

“Beomgyu.”

As introductions were shared - yours was done as just a nicety, time started passing further. Why is it only five people? This is a small club. No one would be ten minutes late, right?

“You know, this is like the teacher rule thing.” Beomgyu started, changing the conversation from the small talk of how the first day was to the ticking of the clock that resounded throughout the room. “If a teacher is fifteen minutes late, you’re allowed to leave.”

Kai nodded; “I heard about that, but I feel like I always had luck with timings.” He hummed, “I’ve actually never been late to a class where the teacher has not been late either.”

“I heard that was a fake rule though,” Soobin added, “or at least an American one.”

“Do you reckon we should leave if no supervisor comes in?” You ask, trying to gauge what everyone was thinking. I mean, technically - they can’t hold us here forever.

Taehyun chipped in; “I mean, what else are we supposed to do right now? Anyone have homework?” Everyone shook their heads. It’s a collective understanding that if a teacher does assign work on the first day, then they’re assholes.

The door creaks open, silencing you all. Is it the supervisor? No, certainly not - the supervisor wouldn’t come in with echoes of laughter behind them. You could hear a pin drop in the silence within the room.

Oh god.

You were met with eyes you knew for a short period of time that you have since avoided; Yeonjun.

“Hey everyone!” A voice that you encountered almost a year ago today exactly; the voice that provided temporary comfort from your confusion. “Sorry for being late!” Despite scrambling to the seats, he still looked cool. Damn him. His apologies were halted by his observation; “Wait, is there even a supervisor here?” Everyone shook their heads, staring at him wordlessly. Yeonjun needs no introductions, of course. His eyes flicked over to yours, and you swear there was a sign of recognition. You certainly hope not.

So what even is the connection between you all?

“Um, should we talk until a supervisor comes?” Soobin stuttered out from beside you. Despite his confident facade on stage during assemblies, you now can see that underneath it all was a shy teenage boy uncertain of his voice. His sudden shyness makes him more endearing; the soft pink blush tinting his cheeks, his ears turning slightly red. Cute. “What do you think this club is all about?”

Beomgyu, however, speaks over him - making his question unheard to those not next to him (aka, you and now Yeonjun). “I could’ve been playing soccer with the team. We have a game already in a few weeks.”

“Already?” Kai asked, shocked - Taehyun and him joining the conversation. You can see that this ignorance has caused Soobin to sink into himself, uncertain. However, you weren’t the only one who noticed this.

“What do you think this club is all about?” Yeonjun spoke loudly, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. “Soobin-ah asked the question. What do you guys think?” As silence followed, he filled in the gaps. “I honestly have no clue. How about you? Y/N right?” How does Yeonjun know my name? The internal question seemed to be present on your face as Yeonjun quickly comments on how he remembers you from last year, before a quick and playful reprimanding for avoiding his waves.

You looked towards Soobin and Yeonjun; two pairs of eyes that are oddly comforting at this moment. “I initially thought it’d be an astronomy club, but wouldn’t it meet at night?”

The youngest in the room jumped in - “I’m a Leo! What are your signs?”

Taehyun smacked the top of his head lightly, “That’s astrology, not astronomy, dumbass.” Kai however insisted that everyone still answered. “Do you guys believe in astrology then?”

The eldest shrugs; “It doesn’t necessarily hurt to believe it, it’s always a bit of fun.”

Soobin smirks as he lets out a chuckle, “My zodiac sign says I’d be the life of the party, but I’m quite introverted.”

“I can’t tell that though,” Yeonjun smiled, nudging Soobin with his knee.

You added, “You have a very bright and calming presence, like…I feel like you would be a great party host.” Bashedly, Soobin smiled and thanked you. “Do you guys think you match your zodiac sign descriptions quite well?”

After a long conversation about zodiac signs, one that made you realise how you truly feel about the very controversial science, Beomgyu returned to the original topic. “It could be like a dungeons and dragons sort of club?”

Taehyun shook his head, “There’s already one.” In unison, both him and Soobin said the name; ‘the DnD Destroyers’.

It only continued. Silence was a rare sound for the next hour. Even without a supervisor, the conversation felt natural after a while - as if you knew each other for quite a while. Sure, you still tip-toed over some topics; uncertain about where comfort zones lie, but it felt like a solid friendship just started. Or, well, a good moment to look back. Unfortunately, like all things - the conversation must come to an end; a silence filling the room. Is it time to go? Maybe, but the question at the back of your brain is still left unanswered. Plus, it’s been enjoyable to be here; more enjoyable than you thought. Part of you wishes this would happen again, while another part wishes that time travel exists so you could return to this moment as you please.

As the group of you all collected your bags to head out, the final thought that’s been at the back of your brain was getting annoying - like an itch you couldn’t reach. “I’m so sorry if this sounds creepy, but I’m still trying to figure out why we’re all here and what this club is about.”

“I’m the same,” Taehyun added, “So far, I have a few theories?” He said it as a question, uncertain if you all wanted to hear it.

Yeonjun smiled encouragingly, “Go on then.”

“I think it has to be that we all live in the same suburb,” Taehyun started - making everyone turn around in revelation, “I’m saying this based off the fact that I live near Kai, and Kai mentioned how Y/N lives in our area, and I know that I see Soobin at Choi’s Bakery when I pick up pastries for my sister.”

That’s a good point, you turned to face Yeonjun and Beomgyu. “Not to sound creepy, but do you guys live near the Hybedosi station too?” Both of them nodded slowly. That must be the connection, you thought - certain that Taehyun was on the right track.

In actuality, Taehyun must be a kindred spirit as you relate to everything he’s saying. “I have done so much googling and research, and I haven’t found anything about this club at all.”

Kai snorted, “We spent thirty minutes before coming here in the library. He was looking for old yearbooks to try and find some hint of the club.”

“So it’s definitely not an international club, nor is it well-known,” Taehyun continued to talk, as if Kai hadn't spoken, “- so it must be like…some sort of way to connect us?”

Soobin agreed, nodding his head as he further elaborated. “This…like, lady came to one of our student council sessions and emphasised the importance of building smaller communities, so maybe one of the administration people decided this.”

“Isn’t it a breach of safety?” Beomgyu chimed in, “Like, or mishandling of personal information?”

Taehyun shook his head, “Technically, they haven’t given out the information beyond us. And even then, we deduced it.”

“Would you guys like to go back together then?” Kai invited, “And maybe we could even go to school together tomorrow? We can even grab breakfast at Choi’s.”

With the six of you agreeing to the plan - 6:30am at Choi’s tomorrow morning - you all headed to the trains, getting to know each other more. (And, something that will change up your routine - even just a little bit more - to look forward to tomorrow morning)

A MONTH LATER,

y/n: wru all wtf we’re gonna be late

Passengers walking into the train seemed to be taunting you. While you’re stuck at the platform, anxiously clicking the power button to take a peek at the time; curse them. You think back to a month ago when this problem wouldn’t have existed.

gyu: look behind you

You pushed yourself off the column you were leaning against, quickly turning to look behind you - your eyes trained on the ground until you fully turned. What? Ready to give these assholes a piece of your mind for making you all later than you’d like (and hate on Beomgyu for adamantly lying to you), your focus turned to your phone once more.

“Boo!” To say your heart temporarily stopped was an understatement. The sudden push that came from behind you - well, what was in front of you moments ago - startled you even more. Your phone slipped through your fingers, luckily caught last minute - but that alone only added to your fear.

“I literally hate you.” You groaned, your hand going to your heart as if it could calm it down.

Beomgyu smirked, before leaning against the same column you were minutes ago. “You have to admit, you’re impressed I’m here before Soobin.”

“That’s the definition of bare minimum.” Like a magnet, you buried your head into Beomgyu’s shoulder. Unfortunately, Beomgyu convinced you to stay up late calling last night - so getting out of bed today was especially miserable. It’s a miracle Beomgyu was as chipper as he normally is. “Soobin has to be here. He’s performing less than bare minimum.”

His hand went to rest in your hair, teasingly ruffling it as you complained against his shoulder. He couldn’t see your face - only could feel your persistent pout through the uniform vest - but he smiled. “Well, men are trash anyways.” With his other hand, he typed a private message to the school council member.

to soobs (private chat): if you’re still at the bakery, can you bring extra pastries for y/n??

Within an instance, Soobin responded:

soobs (private chat): already on my way there, but already on it.

“How are you so chipper this morning?” You pulled away, now resting so that your chin is on his shoulder and you’re looking up at his face. Cute; his hair was a bit more unruly than usual and his eyes a bit more dazed. The bags under his eyes were a bit more sunken than usual - probably something that you shared with him today - yet he still made your heart flutter.

He smirked, “Because I’m with you.” You fake-vomited, now pulling yourself off of him - immediately making him pull you back into his chest.

“That’s so cheesy.” He’s been playfully flirting with you for the last two weeks. It started after Yeonjun had asked him his best pick-up line, which happened to be the most cheesy thing you’ve heard (well, until now). It quite literally earned a visceral reaction from you, and Beomgyu seemed to make it his mission to make you react like that again.

“This is a public location, lovebirds.” Kai sang, sauntering towards you with Taehyun in tow. The two were direct neighbours and have been their whole lives, you had learnt soon after meeting them. “You shouldn’t be doing PDA out here.” His comment released Beomgyu’s grip on you, preventing him from pulling you back into his embrace.

You rolled your eyes. Beomgyu was not your boyfriend; something you had to remind your friends way too often that you would want to admit. The first time your friends realised you befriended the boy who could be arrested for ‘attempted manslaughter’ (Ryujin with her dramatics), the amount of teasing you got lasted for days.

“Where’s Soobs?” Taehyun asked, also expecting Soobin to be the first one here. “How long have you been here for?”

Time to make him feel guilty, you decided - planning to tease them. “Literally, I could’ve been at school already.” You were here before everyone else a maximum of five minutes before Beomgyu sauntered in, but they didn’t have to know that. Taehyun, however, never falling for your tricks - raised his brow interrogatively. And Taehyun being your favorite best boy (as you joke Kai and him compete for), you crumpled under his pointed stare. “Nah, I was just here for like five minutes,” you shrugged - falling back onto the wall beside Beomgyu.

“Nice try.” Kai grinned, laughing at your now sheepish face. “How are we all earlier than Soobin though? Isn’t he the one who usually gets here early?”

“He also lives closer than all of us.” Taehyun added. “Yeonjun is also usually early.”

From an outsider's perspective, the four of you must look like a cliche high school movie group - some sort of terrible remake of the Breakfast Club or the Brat Pack. Beomgyu decided to let loose on his uniform; his tie slightly undone and varsity jacket thrown over his shoulder with his backpack hanging onto a single shoulder, of course, plays the role of a rebellious jock. As the stereotypical nerd, Taehyun had a set of books tightly held in his arms - despite how bulky his backpack was already. And Kai? He looked like a version of a band freak, one shoulder carrying his shoulder bag - the other shoulder holding a guitar bag; both appearing like an ‘X’ against his chest. On top of it all, there was you - not quite fitting in any special clique, just the friends of the cheerleaders who can fit herself into any puzzle; a side character you can put into any random friend group of any scene, and it’d make sense.

You squint your eyes, silently questioning that statement; Yeonjun is always late. Taehyun quickly rescinded it. Unfortunately, two pairs of ears heard the statement; bloating one of their egos so much more.

“I know I’m always early.” Yeonjun gloated ‘fake news’, “I’m always the first here.” Soobin, despite always being the first there, didn’t seem to care that he took his title. With a pulled back smile, Soobin passed you a small doggy bag of your favourite pastry. He then handed out the others.

Thank the lords, you praised - quickly opening up the bag after thanking him and biting into the delicious treat. “Choi Soobin, you’re actually the love of my life.” He chuckled, blushing wildly. Luckily, he didn’t have to respond as the train brushed past.

“Let’s goooooo!” Kai sang, “Time to go to schoooooolllll.”

How anyone can be this happy about getting onto a train to head back to school defeats you.

And as per the usual for the last month (except on Mondays when Soobin has to get to school thirty minutes earlier), the six of you talked about absolutely anything and everything you can think of throughout the trip (yes, even the fact the air was feeling a bit crispier than usual or the idea that time is simply a concept created by society). Today’s conversation topic? The school sleepover that would be happening tomorrow night; the same school sleepover that you six planned just because Yeonjun wanted to confirm the existence of the school ghost Kai heard about and Taehyun immediately started to theorize about.

“We should see if it’s true!” Yeonjun proposed excitedly; the six of you standing in the train full of adults making their way to work. “We should stay overnight, to try and support it.” He turned to Taehyun, “We can confirm your theories!

Ever since Kai heard from a fellow classmate about the ghosts wandering Hyejijum High, a ghost called Ki-woo, the six of you decided to have fun with it. From Soobin mentioning the name like a curse word in front of the school administration to gauge their reactions to Taehyun scouring the library for books about the school's history. There was evidence that Taehyun found about the school being built on land with a questionable history - however, he thinks he could find more in the restricted books section. The desire to see a ghost only became worse after watching Buzzfeed Unsolved at Yeonjun’s house.

Specifically, you and Soobin started to join Taehyun in the library - creating funny and strange theories about what could’ve happened.

Beomgyu, of course, loved the idea. “We can stay out after school, say it’s a club bonding experience.” Despite the STAR SEEKERS club being absolute bullshit, the six of you are still enlisted underneath the club. In all honesty, you probably meet more than a normal club would. “C’mon, Soobin - you should ask!”

“Or,” The unease radiating from Soobin’s eyes alerted you so you tried to give him an out, “we could just have a sleepover and watch scary movies. I’m pretty sure my parents would be okay with it.”

Unfortunately, the other four seemed persistent. “It'd definitely be an interesting experience,” Taehyun added, “it’d be a good way to see it with our own eyes.”

“You can’t seriously be thinking of this!” You protested. There were so many logistical elements to work out; how will the security guards not see you? How will you even be able to stay past the school being locked down? “What about security? How will we even stay on campus after -”

Kai interrupted you, snapping his fingers as he thought of a solution. Turning to Soobin, he pointed at him. “Make a whole school event out of it; a school wide sleepover. You can sell tickets, do some fundraising for a charity or future school events, and we can sneak out during the chaos.”

“Huening Kai, I love you.” Yeonjun planted a huge, sloppy kiss on his cheek, making Kai cringe and wipe it off in an exaggerated fashion. “And, with our beautiful Choi Soobin,” he now wrapped his arm around the subject’s shoulders, “teachers will believe we’re not doing anything wrong and will be preoccupied with everyone else.”

Okay…that makes more logistic sense. After all, Lia did say how the school wanted to host more fundraising events. Yeonjun seemed to notice how your facial expression became just a little bit more relaxed, and decided that was a sign you agreed. “Great, so Soobin - just suggest the idea during your meeting today and we got ourselves a ghost to catch.”

By the time you all arrived at the school gates, Yeonjun and Beomgyu stopped informing you of their highly detailed scheme. “I’ll see you all later then.” The oldest grinned, before turning to the usual question; “What time is everyone done for today?”

As per usual, everyone ended around 3:30 while Beomgyu had soccer practice. “Let’s head back around 4:30?”

“Ew no,” You quickly contributed in a teasing tone, “at least fifteen more minutes so you can change out of your soccer clothes. Stinky.” Beomgyu chuckled, placing his hand on the top of your head - ruffling your hair.

“So 3:30, yeah?” Yeonjun teased, already walking away.

“YAH!” Beomgyu called back, flicking the air as if it was Yeonjun’s forehead. They always had a cat-and-mouse-type relationship, teasing each other relentlessly. But you know, that if it ever came to it - they’d die for each other.

As Yeonjun runs to his ‘it’ crew, the five of you discuss your plans for today. “I’ll spend lunch time in the library today,” Soobin started, “I’m behind on an assignment for history class and if we do actually follow through with tomorrow, I'm going to need to finish it now.”

“Oh, me too!” You exclaimed, “Is it alright if I join you?” Soobin nodded.

Kai starts laughing, “What do you mean actually? Of course we’re doing it!” Beomgyu enthusiastically agrees with Kai.

“Let’s just see if it works.” Taehyun interjected. “I’ll join you then, yeah?” With that, you all went off your own ways. As per usual, you headed towards the courtyard to meet your friends. As per the new usual, Beomgyu accompanied you.

“Oh, hello, Y/N and co!” Yeji grinned, still reveling in the fact you were far more out of your shell than you were last year. The rest of the girls turned to face you, and when they did, Karina immediately faced the floor.

“And goodbye, Y/N and co!” Beomgyu mused, mimicking Yeji’s greeting. From the distance, you heard Jeongin calling for his best friend. “I’ll see you later?” He asked, refusing to take his eyes off of you. You nodded, putting your backpack down on the ground before sliding into the seat. Smiling at the response, he sprinted off towards Jeongin - even running backwards at one point to glance back at you. Obviously, you were oblivious to this - your friends, however, were not blind.

“I’m happy to see you having more friends this year,” Yeji smiled, “you seem really happy.”

“Friends?” Karina poked in, “Beomgyu does be acting like a boyfriend. Which reminds me, can you introduce me formally to Soobin? Lia refuses too.”

Lia lets out an exasperated sigh, “I’m saying! He’s a friend, but not a good friend. We’re just on council together. I’m not going to be like ‘hey, my friend is obsessed with you. Date her?’.”

You furrowed your brows - remembering how last week you got Soobin to join you for lunch, “Hasn’t he sat at our table already?” Karina huffed, before turning to the side. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you talk.”

“No, but like we haven’t talk-talked - you know?”

“ANYWAYS,” You jumped to swap the conversation, not wanting to continue this further - “Ryu, when’s your soccer match?” Soccer season, unfortunately, is coming to an end. While you promised to support Beomgyu’s game with the guys, you have to make sure Ryujin’s game isn’t at the same time. Ryujin was your friend first.

“It’ll be next Friday afternoon!” Thank God, you thought - Beomgyu’s was on Saturday. “Around 4:00pm!”

You decided to extend the invite for Saturday, partially knowing they may be going anyway. After all, Ryujin and Yeji have been asking you to attend more sports games since last year (you always denied, unless Ryu was playing). Plus, it will let Karina interact with Soobin. Part of that made your heart twinge; the idea of them hitting it off and clicking as if they were meant to be, as if their souls were tied together throughout time. You’re not sure why - you should be happy about it. After all, he was your friend’s crush. Regardless, you brush the feelings aside. It’s probably nothing. “Would you want to come with me on Saturday to see the men’s soccer team?”

Lia dropped her jaw, before starting to sing. “Is this because of Beomgyuuuu?”

“Is little Y/Nie in loveeee?” Yeji continued.

You rolled your eyes, about to defend yourself when the bell rang.

“Literally saved by the bell.” Ryujin laughed, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. With the sound of a voice calling your name from a distance, she smirked. “Speak of the devil!” Your friends started scattering off - Yeji and Lia had English literature, while Karina had maths. You, however, had history.

I should probably text Soobin to ask if he has any questions for the teacher. You pulled out your phone and sent a quick private text to him. While doing this, you heard heavy panting coming from behind you - Ryujin now released her arm from her shoulders; freeing you - only for your shoulders to be held by someone else in just a few more minutes. Thursdays are the days you have two classes with Beomgyu; one at the start of the day, and one as the second to last period in physical education with Ryujin.

“I’ll see you later, Gyu?” Ryujin chuckled - notifying you of who's behind you. She was not ignorant to how Beomgyu paused and watched you with doe eyes. Luckily for her, Ryujin had study hall as her first class for Thursdays. Like most people, she uses morning study halls to nap or eat breakfast somewhere. “I’m going to head to the school cafe.” You nodded, before quickly telling her you’ll see her during the morning break period.

You turned to face your friend, who - when you think about it - the fact a friendship has blossomed between you two is surprising. Sweat was dripping from his forehead, probably from playing soccer with his friends while in his actual school uniform instead of his soccer gear. It definitely wasn’t good to be playing soccer in his vest and slacks on a sunny morning. “Ew, sweaty.” Beomgyu poked out his tongue, before taking your bag from your hands.

“I’ll carry this!”

You widen your eyes, “Gyu, I can carry it myself.”

He smiled, “I know you can, but you won’t.” He pulled you closer, and while the sweat clearly dripping from his hair disgusted you, you welcomed the embrace. “You can pay me back by doing my history work for me.” You pushed him away, both of you laughing as you rolled your eyes.

“I can’t even finish my own.”

“Did you know,” Soobin started, taking his eyes away from his research paper to continue the accidental game the three of you started, “that when grass is cut, the smell they release - it’s like it's a distress signal? So it’s practically screaming in pain to warn the others.”

You and Taehyun hum in appreciation.

The game started accidentally. Soobin, in an effort to make his assignment more interesting, decided to start spurting out any fact he deemed fun or interesting. Taehyun, however, wanted to one-up him. And you of course had to jump in.

Unfortunately, you had to tisk him. “That has nothing to do with your essay though.” Even his screen, which you have a full view of with your seat beside him, was pulled up on ‘fun facts’ instead of his essay. This game was to motivate him, you remembered, not to distract him.

“Tell me what else I can tell you about Ancient Greek culture without it being about Zeus having sex with another person that isn’t his wife.”

Taehyun joined in the temporary hate-on-Soobin club; “Didn’t Zeus turn into a golden shower once to impregnate a random woman?” Both you and Soobin turned your heads, unknowingly sharing the same questions that relate to why Zeus did it, how it worked, what even happened - but most importantly; why does Taehyun know this?

“That’s a very specific kink.” Soobin muttered under his breath; eyes wide, making him look like a young child. The shock of Soobin saying such a statement so innocently made you flinch; your head landing on his shoulder as you had to muffle your laughter. Even the librarian came by to shush you. “I don’t get why someone would cheat…” He now mumbled under his breath.

It wasn’t something that often came to mind. Like a mindless and endless conversation with Ryujin and Yeji, you decided to elaborate - launching the conversation to a whole new direction. “Do you think physical or emotional cheating is worse? Do you think cheating is ever okay?”

The essays both you and Soobin had to work on were long forgotten, Taehyun just revising for a maths exam in a month from now (who studies this early anyway?). “ I think physical cheating, sure, is more concrete but surface level. So emotional cheating is worse.” Taehyun said, matter-of-factly. “But, I don’t think cheating is always terrible? Like in toxic relationships, I think it’s natural and may help the people end the toxicity to emotionally cheat. But yeah, I guess it also depends on intention or following behaviour, like if they’re hiding it or purposefully lying or intend to keep doing it behind their back.”

Despite a relatively detailed answer from Taehyun, Soobin seemed to be launched into an even more detailed answer. “Neither is good, there is no such thing as worse in this case.” He started, “However, if it is true love - like obviously they are made for each other, I guess it’s okay?” His statement led you to a question; but how do you know if it’s true love?

As Soobin continues to ramble, you get lost in your thoughts. You were still young, uncertain of love and what it feels like. Is it supposed to feel exciting every day? Is it supposed to be like what an adrenaline junkie craves? Excitement running through you, blindsighted with no regard for consequences because you’re so consumed with this person. Is it supposed to be like home, like comfort? Like an introvert’s dream, or a rainy day inside with a warm cup of hot chocolate - wrapped up in sheets? From television and books, you were taught that love was supposed to hurt; to be full of raging passion. However, from the love you’ve seen around you and from your own passion - you don’t know if you want love like that. Full of back and forth, bickering, toxic combinations of love and hate; maybe love was supposed to be love. But to know what love is supposed to be like, it’s important to ask if -

Taehyun scoffed, stopping Soobin’s spiele and your thoughts from unravelling further. “You need to get back to work.” He eyed both of you, to which you immediately turned your laptop and raised your hands in defence. You had more done on the history essay than Soobin, at least, so Taehyun hummed in some sort of approval. Whereas, Soobin received a disappointed sigh.

“So, Y/N -” Taehyun turned to you, “Did you know there’s a belief that Ned Fulmer’s affair is secretly part of a Try Guys Try A Scandal series?”

Soobin and you puff. “Did you not listen to their podcast?”

Whatever you’re feeling right now is completely, utterly, absolutely irrational, right? Right?

In your non-uniform clothes but also not yet your pyjamas, you and your friends settled around the gym.

From your spot, you can see Beomgyu with Jeongin and another soccer friend Hyunjin; Yeonjun with his friend Wooyoung enchanting his crowd with laughter; Soobin with Arin and her girlfriend Yoo-bin; Taehyun and Kai with some of their classmates like Jake and Sunghoon.

You had to wait until Yeonjun gives a ‘go’ single. Fortunately, Yeonjun’s friends are always willing to make a scene - so upon Yeonjun’s instruction, Wooyoung will cause their group to start…well, Yeonjun said he wouldn’t tell you what exactly to give you all deniability.

It was also Soobin’s idea, surprisingly, that you all sit separately from each other. The chaperones will take notice of larger groups, so if one group disappears - it’d be noticeable. If one person per group disappears? Not too obvious.

So your current feelings of being scared absolutely shitless is unreasonable, right?

No, but you know you have to convince yourself otherwise to follow through.

“What’s on your mind?” Ryujin asked, noticing your silence. Your friends knew about the plan; you didn’t want to scare them when you disappeared. “You worried?” With your silence, she prodded further. “Are you scared about getting caught with your boyfriend?”

You remained silent, your eyes laser focused on your hands. Will you get in trouble? Will you get caught? Should you follow the plan, or maybe should you just stay with your friends?

“Hey,” Ryujin’s voice lowered, her hand resting on your shoulder. The rest of your friends were too engrossed in a conversation about a series of TikToks. “What’s up, really?”

Words are failing you. How are you even feeling? Yes, sure - scared, nervous, worried. But you’re also excited. This is time with five people you’ve loved spending time with, who excite you, who challenge you. You want to spend time with them, but like this?

“I don’t know.”

A response of a soft smile was given. “Okay. Well, for now, I’ll be right here. And when you do know, and feel comfortable to share it, I’ll be right here to-”

Music broke through the gym. Wooyoung is screaming bloody murder as he tries to get everyone to stand up. You see Yeonjun through the crowd, his eyes roaming as he searches for you all. When his eyes made eye contact with yours, his eyes went wide.

This must be the sign.

…

Of course, the distraction had to be Gangnam Style.

Regardless, it worked. Almost every student and (oddly enough) a large number of chaperones joined Wooyoung, of course with his persistence. You’re pretty sure Wooyoung dragged the head chaperone into a dance circle. However, you can’t be certain; Ryujin distracted you, wishing you luck and sending you off.

Don’t think about the consequences, you heard Ryujin say in your head - something she has said a thousand times when she’s about to do something you swear is as dumb as the actions of a character in a horror movie. Unless the consequence is death, nothing worse could really happen.

So, you crouched down and made your way behind the crowd gathering at the centre. Well, nothing worse could happen - you thought of all the potentials. Unless this world is secretly magical and this could bring about the end of the world, the worst consequence could be expulsion - certainly not death.

The tale of the Hyejijum ghost is that of a long time ago. Before the school was built, it was a small village. At the time, trains and the other transport of today didn’t exist. Instead of the train tracks and roads, there was a forest.

According to the story Yeonjun and Kai have respectively heard, both the practice rooms and a place somewhere along your train route once harnessed magical energy. It was a result of the barrier between the different worlds being at its thinnest. The story says, the reason why the worlds were closer than they ever could be was because a group of children of gods followed a black cat into its clearing, unaware that the cat was the evil god in disguise. Somehow, the group got separated and the oldest - the leader of the group - died in cold blood by the hands of a friend whose soul got corrupted. One of the others - the lover of the corrupted - died trying to save them.

(“Sounds like a Percy Jackson fanfiction” Taehyun snorted as Yeonjun and Kai took turns telling the story - a choice that made the plot very disjointed - in the dark.

Yeonjun lightly pushes Taehyun’s head to the side - his flashlight that was shining on his face from below him shaking along with the movement. “You’re ruining the mood!”)

Here, the ghost story here diverges based on who is telling it. From the version Kai heard, after the two deaths and the disappearance of their corrupted friend - the others came back to the village - to the exact coordinates of the practice rooms - and bore the bad news. It was here where the three survivors broke down, releasing their pent up sadness at the loss of their friend. It was here that they died, unexpectedly, from heartbreak. It was told they still wander the halls, telling the stories of their lost friends.

According to Yeonjun’s version, the coordinates of the practice room is where the friend who had murdered the other came with the god and destroyed the village. It’s here that the old civilisation ended to make way for a new society. Unfortunately, the ghosts of the friends remain here; still wandering the halls in an attempt to stop him.

“Do you think multiple universes even exist?” Kai prompted, the six of you peeking into the practice rooms with your phone torches on.

Taehyun shrugged, “It’s a scientific theory that has yet to be disproven.”

“I think it would be fun.” Yeonjun added, “Imagining how else we’d be living. Do you think I’d be famous in another life? Do you think we’d still be friends?”

Glancing towards you all with a soft look in his eyes, Soobin smiled; “I think we’d be.”

“Don’t worry Yeonjun, you’d still be the same annoying hyung.” Beomgyu’s comment earned a slap to the back of his head. “I do not see anything.”

Unbeknownst to them, your hand started towards the wall; patting around in an attempt to find the light switch. Sure, it’s less likely to call upon a ghost - you thought - but whoever is holding your hand right now is trembling and light would probably help. Their conversation around you muffled out as you suddenly felt a fear that wasn’t yours moments ago. “Can you guys find the light?” You asked, struggling to find the switch. Based on the grip on your hand and the distance of their voices, you can probably assume it wasn’t Yeonjun or Taehyun.

No one heard you, all focused on everywhere there torches shined light on. From the blue mat lining the floor, the series of chords for the speakers, the -

Something moved in front of you. “What was that?” Soobin squealed - the grip on your hand tightening. So it was Soobin. The sound of footsteps soon echoed throughout the room.

“Guys, this isn’t funny!” You called as Yeonjun moved the torch to try and find what noise was being made.

When the light revealed the mirror, your heart dropped.

“AH!” Three of you screamed. Behind Soobin and Yeonjun’s reflection were…Beomgyu and Kai making weird faces. Lights suddenly flickered on, showing Taehyun had covered the light switch the whole time.

“HAJIMA!” Yeonjun screamed annoyed, hitting them. Whoever thought of the prank, it was apparently directed against you, Soobin, and Yeonjun. Based on the smug look on his face, you knew it was Beomgyu’s idea. Also, knowing Taehyun and Kai quite well - they wouldn’t come up with this without letting you in on it. “What the fuck was that?” Yeonjun’s anger soon dissipated as he started to laugh. That was pretty good, Yeonjun realised after a minute.

You groaned, putting your hands over your eyes - the sudden extremity of light hurting them. “Come on, this place is a dud.” Taehyun deadpanned, “We should go to the library and look for more clues.”

“Ew, no.” Kai whined, “We literally can be anywhere right now, and you choose the library?”

Taehyun pouted, “We can have unlimited access to the restricted books section!”

“Nerd!” Both Beomgyu and Yeonjun synchronised, both holding the ‘L’ sign towards their forehead.

What would be a fun place to go at a time like this? You, like everyone else, started thinking of all the potentials; the cafeteria, however, that’s pretty much creepy in the daytime too. The gymnasium is obviously occupied by the rest of the student body, the -

Arms draped loosely over your shoulders; his chest against your back as his arms crossed in front of you. “Didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” You rolled your eyes, pushing him off of you playfully.

“Oh, what did you mean to do then?” You tease. Simply put, he decided to prank you guys in the dark. What was he even meaning to do if not to scare you? “Were you trying to cure cancer then?” Beomgyu rolled his eyes at your response, trying to grab your arm to pull you closer again. When he failed, he pouted. But he just scared you, Soobin, and Yeonjun shitless. So, you immediately mocked his (admittedly cute and adorable) annoying expression and exaggeratingly pouted back.

Kai was the one who came up with the best idea. “How about the roof?” While not much convincing was needed, Yeonjun’s acceptance was the final confirmation.

Getting up to the roof was easy. In fact, a lot of students would camp out there eating lunches. It’s not allowed by the faculty, but kids will always find a way. Specifically, there was a staircase accessible by a broken lock the school had forgotten to fix. Once you go through the double doors at the top of the stairs, your jaw drops. Running towards the railing, you leaned out to see it all.

You’ve come here on occasion throughout your freshman year, and started frequenting it more this year because Kai is absolutely enchanted with the view up here. However, you’ve never been here at night.

On this starless night, the moon shone brighter than ever. However, it didn’t defeat the lights from the city below. Living in the Hybedosi suburb means it was mostly quiet, not much light beyond the convenience stores and the lamp posts. In the city, it was different. Instead of the sky, the stars could be found in the buildings below. You saw the lights line across the river and you felt like you were in a movie.

“Good idea, Kai.” Yeonjun sighed in content, staring at the view too. The beauty of this school is that due to its many facilities and being developed to be quite a prestigious school, the roof was actually quite high up.

However, a view can only be so interesting for so long. While Taehyun opted to remain standing, the five of you sat down on the ground - Yeonjun showing some TikToks on his phone. From his position, you could see a nasty burn on his hand - covered by a large bandaid. You see the ruptured skin poking out of the Minions bandaid. “Yeonjun, what happened here?”

“I was baking last night with Wooyoung.” He commented, shrugging as if the constant pain wasn't there. But he got used to it, in his eyes. Or, he’ll get used to it soon. Sure, it stung when it got touched - but it’ll soon become numb. No one should be concerned.

You rolled your eyes, “Give me your hand.” As he followed your instructions, you dramatically kissed his hand better - making Yeonjun equally dramatically pretend you were inviting him to a ballroom dance.

The way you kissed his hand was like how movies show princes starting ballroom dances with princesses. “I will dance with you, Miss Y/N!” Pretending to be a dramatic princess from some sort of terrible Bridgerton remake, he dragged you to your feet - now spinning you around and dancing beneath the starless sky. The group laughed, as always, at Yeonjun’s antics.

By the time Yeonjun wanted to give up his dramatic act, he returned to his place beside Soobin and Kai. You decided to approach Taehyun while the four spoke about TikTok and celebrity drama once more. His eyes seemed preoccupied as he anxiously bit on his lip. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Taehyun shrugged, chuckling. “I just can’t believe that these dumbasses got their stupid plan to follow through.”

“You know what that means?” He shook his head, “You joined in on the planning, so that means you’re a dumbass too.” You teased, turning around and crossing your arms against the rail. “I am wondering if there's more we can find about the ghost though. The plan was to find something.”

“Well, technically, it was to prove or disprove something. So far, we have disproved it.”

“Are we sure it was the practice rooms though?” You pushed, “Especially as you did find that this was built on a town that was massacred.” You saw the glint in his eye, and you knew what he was going to suggest. So, you did it for him.

Clapping and walking towards the exit again, you got everyone’s attention. “YAH! Where are you going?” Yeonjun called.

“Library!” You sang, making Taehyun chuckle and follow quickly behind.

Beomgyu, however, groaned. “Are we really going to listen to Taehyun right now?”

“Yes!” You quickly retaliate, not leaving more space for complaints. “So you can either stay here or shut up.”

Although the initial plan was to find more information about the ghost, especially through the restricted section, Beomgyu and Kai quickly turned the search for information into a game of tag. It started with Beomgyu whispering his scheme to Kai, who quickly enacted it by psst-ing and tagging Taehyun. Everyone quickly sprinted in different directions, torches helping guide the way. Of course, your friends are notably clumsy people and therefore, the occasional yelp or ‘ouch’ proved that they were guilty of bumping into corners regardless).

You’re not even sure who ‘it’ is as after every few seconds, you could hear a squeal and laughter. It was only when you heard Beomgyu approach, singing ‘I’m going to come get you!’ in a creepy voice that you realised he was after you.

Fuck, you thought, and you did so well at hiding. You ran for it; as fast as you could, hearing his footsteps creeping behind you. Running so fast, you bumped into Kai - who even stopped in the middle of the aisle; directly in Beomgyu’s way. I’m safe, you realised as Kai was now in his way. However, Beomgyu just screamed at him to move out of the way as he can’t squeeze through him and the shelf without touching him.

“Beomgyu!” You laughed, your stomach hurting as you ran away from the tagger. “Kai was right there!”

“Don’t throw me under the bus!” His voice was now distant, obviously grateful that his accidental escape plan had worked.

from Yeonjun to soobin hate club (jokes): whoever is it now, we should corner Soobin.

Now tired from running around, the six of you decided to stop the game. Yeonjun had opted to lie down on an empty desk, one knee bent while the other leg was hanging off the table as he spoke with you and Soobin. The two of you sat on the floor, leaning against the wall underneath the window. Yeonjun had a direct view of the starless sky just above you, yet the moon still appeared to be spotlighting your little corner. On the other side of things, Beomgyu and Kai were still bustling full of energy; attempting to find the funniest title, wandering through the aisles and giggling. Unconsciously, you smiled at their antics; especially as Kai screamed out through his laughter; “And on the eighth day, God created hairdressers - I have contributed in many ways to the field of beauty”.

The title made you chuckle, especially when Kai sprinted back to show you the book cover; a cover that looks like it was made in the centre of hell or on a Tumblr shitpost (essentially, the same thing). He then ran back to Beomgyu, who was already trying to one up him desperately - as you can tell through his exasperated and playful yells.

Out of all of you, however, Taehyun was back on track - finding a book about the history of the school and the area. “Maybe the ghost story is in a different universe,” he commented as he showed Soobin, Yeonjun, and you the page. “Look. You mentioned the town being called Hybehead, right?” Yeonjun nodded, “The town that was here previously was named the same as Hybedosi, so I’m assuming our suburb just became smaller over time.”

“Maybe it was all fiction then?” Soobin posed, raising his eyebrow. You dropped your head on his shoulder; tiredness from lack of sleep already starting to settle in. With Soobin, it felt natural. He always felt cosy - maybe that’s why even when you don’t have class, you visit the bakery in hopes of seeing Soobin. If you had to explain the feeling of being around Soobin, it would be sitting in your room on a rainy day with a mug of hot chocolate and a warm blanket.

“Or!” Yeonjun basically yelled, jolting upwards, “Or, it’s another universe seeping into ours. Maybe the practice rooms are like the portal to them.”

“This sounds like some terrible Riverdale episode.” You joked, remembering the news of Riverdale having a five episode special to a location called RiverVale.

“How dare you call Riverdale terrible?” You heard Beomgyu scream in offence from the other side of the library. At his offence, Kai and him apparently decided to rejoin the group; panting as they approached the four of you huddled at your current area. The older of the two sat down next to you, while Kai peeked over Taehyun’s shoulder. “Well, if it is true - maybe it's just coordinates? What’s below the practice room?”

This line of thought essentially brought you to the indoor swimming pool’s locker rooms - which Yeonjun realised were four floors directly below the practice rooms.

“What time is it?” You asked, your voice hushed as you walked past the gymnasium all your classmates slept. 4:10am. “I don’t think it’s going to be dark for much longer.”

The group agreed through a series of hums and nods of acknowledgements. “I think this should be our last stop before heading back.” Everyone agreed with Yeonjun - despite Kai’s obvious want for the night to continue. Part of you wanted the night to never end as well; wanting to stay here. Despite your initial fear and worries for the night, this has been the highlight of your year - if not your life.

Wandering in a comfortable silence and the occasional comment, the six of you looked everywhere. This is how you found out that, in contrast to all the stereotypes, the male locker rooms are actually significantly less gross than the females. However, is it because no one was actively using it? The lack of stray hair on the ground was definitely the only and main factor for its cleanliness.

When you turned your head, you saw Yeonjun poke through the exit; back towards the pool. With him letting out a whistle and a motioning signal, the five of you followed his lead.

The pool glistened under the torch’s light, yet was still. It has never felt more eerie than this; the only sounds echoing off the tiled floors and walls were your footsteps towards the body of water. There were no ripples, no students swimming, nothing.

The world felt still.

Your eyes felt trained on a random spot in the pool, watching how the water has changed its appearance. “We were just learning about refraction,” you remembered Yeonjun telling you guys - remind me to ask him about it later.

A voice brought you out of your trance. “It’s a good temperature!” Kai screamed, his lower half submerged under the pool - a ripple following.

And with that, the four other boys ran and jumped in - the only things left on the side were their phones and the hoodies they had wrapped around their waists. The splash the four of them made together lifted the water above, almost splashing you in the process. You, ultimately, decided to sit on the diving board; watching the five silly boys splash each other.

A year ago today, you wouldn’t be expecting this. A year ago today, if you told your old self you’d be spending time with this group of idiots (lovingly) - you wouldn’t believe it. You wouldn’t believe the fact that Taehyun, Soobin, and you have weekly study hangouts at random libraries or parks. Or, that Beomgyu has been joining Ryujin’s long-term goal of getting you to play soccer. You wouldn’t believe that you’d have almost daily walks with Yeonjun, pop-culture debates with Kai, or random trivial games with Taehyun. You wouldn’t believe you’d have monthly (well, so far - it has happened two times) movie nights at Yeonjun’s house, or picnics fully stocked with Choi’s bakery treats.

The five of them have changed your life, and for the better. You’re happier, freer. You feel that even with the weight on your shoulders from school and life obligations, you have a stronger support system than previously. Yes, the girls are a strong foundation - but it took a while for that relationship to build. Or well, in better words - it didn’t feel as natural as this.

“Dive in, Y/N!” Yeonjun called - the water splash war temporarily ending.

You shook your head, laughing. It’d be a clear cut sign to anyone if you all came back with wet hair. “I’m good!” The group in front of you protested.

“If I can’t even swim, you can jump in!” Soobin called in retaliation. You scoffed, noting that he doesn’t even need to swim to survive - his feet touching the ground as he stood in the pool.

As the five of them swam (in Soobin’s case, walk) closer towards you, you noticed something you didn’t notice before. Maybe it was because of the jump or the water making it float, but the five of them had the same necklaces. You’ve known since meeting Kai that you two had the same necklaces, but what are the chances that all six of you have the same design? You’ve never seen anyone wear it beyond you and Kai before. Could this be a connecting factor behind the club? No way the school knows about your necklaces… Oh god, was I secretly born into a cult?

While you were in your thoughts, Beomgyu was swimming towards the foot of the board where your feet are gently grazing the water. His hand went to the top of your socks, tugging on them slightly and letting the elastic slap back against your skin repeatedly as if trying to nudge you in.

He looked up to you, with his big teddy bear eyes. You felt something shift. For some reason, you felt enchanted by his eyes. In them, you could see the smile that was also on his lips. You’re brought back to the last few months; every time you’ve looked him in the eye. You remember how he looked when he told you about his childhood, and you remember how he looks when he tells you about his passions.

When did this feeling start? The bubbling in your stomach, the excitement that arises. Was it the way the light bounces off the pool and onto his face, making him look serene. Your friends always call him your boyfriend, and sure - you’re quick to deny - but is that so bad? Did you want to be able to call him that?

Is it a sign you have feelings for him when he’s one of the first people you think of in the morning and the last before you go to bed? Is it a sign you have feelings for him when something happens and you get excited to tell him about it? Over the last few months, all five of them have become integral in your routine - you never went more than 24 hours without talking - but Beomgyu and Soobin are the two who have been present every single day.

The look in his eyes drew you in. In the water, he was like a siren; calling you in. He reached his arm out, and invited you to take his hand. Another invitation to join them. You couldn’t say no, not when he’s looking at you like that.

Well, you couldn’t say no anyways as he pulled you in. Your thought process felt like hours, but honestly - were mere seconds.

“What the fuck!” You exclaimed, bringing yourself out of water to hear the sounds of laughter. Restarting the splash fight, you started to splash - directly at Beomgyu. Beomgyu, however, didn’t retaliate and instead - he reached out to your wrists to halt your moments.

Please stop, you thought - not wanting to dive into these thoughts even more. Beomgyu was your best friend, he didn’t think anything more of your friendship. His eyes were magnetic. They were pure, full of good. All you could do was smile and stare in awe. As cheesy as it sounds, the world around you seemed to slow down; falling into a trance. The conversation between Soobin and Yeonjun faded, Taehyun and Kai running up the ladder to jump in again was ignored.

Luckily, their jump splashed the two of you - breaking you apart. Thank God. You left his grasp and swam towards Soobin and Yeonjun, leaving Beomgyu to Taehyun and Kai who immediately invited him to do more dives.

“Y/N! Can you see who can hold their breaths for longer?”

The rest of the time spent in the pool was full of swinging each other into the water (namely Taehyun being swung in by everyone else), diving competitions, and general races. It was always a friendly competition between them, and with every competition, they always tried to either single out Soobin or interfere with each other’s plots. You also made sure not to lean into Beomgyu’s touch, avoiding an instinct that has become natural over the last few months. Instead, you made sure someone else was always beside you if you’re next to him.

With the final competition, the chlorine in your eyes finally exhausted you. Pulling yourself out of the pool, you approached the bench. However, on the way, you saw the band aid that you ‘kissed better’ earlier on the ground. “Oh shit, Yeonjun!” You called. A burn, on its own, is painful - but an injury submerged under chlorine definitely would make it worse. “Do you need another bandaid?”

He looked confused, now glancing at his hand - he swore he was still wearing it. He felt no pain, in fact - the constant pain had subsided substantially. Sure, the band-aid is missing; but also, the burn - and any traces of it - was too.

At 5am, the six of you headed back towards the gym. Prepared to get at least four hours of sleep before the mandatory pick-up time, you wanted to sneak into your sleeping bag next to Ryujin. Sure, your hair may still be wet and you may wake up with a cold in the morning - but you wanted to slip into a deep slumber asap. The exhaustion of running around school has finally hit you. All the fears you’ve had of potentially regretting this whole thing are gone. Everything was amazing and went according to pla-

“Fuck!” Yeonjun cursed under his breath. His forehead fell onto the metal doors, “It’s locked.” Water from the pool escapade trailed behind you, dripping as if tracing your steps. “It’s fucking locked.”

Jinxed it then.

The cold air from the open hallways are making you shiver; an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Beomgyu and Soobin. While Soobin made a move to pass you the hoodie he wore earlier that now rested around his waist (which he opted out of wearing to keep it dry), Beomgyu brought you into his chest. Fuck. You’d pull away, but you knew he wouldn’t let go - especially with how you trembled and were practically ice cold.

“We can’t just stay out here.” You commented, voice shaking, “We’d get in trouble for sneaking out.”

Kai turned to look at everyone, the six of you forming a circle outside the gym. “What about our stuff?”

“I’ll text Wooyoung for mine.” Yeonjun quickly commented, “You should text your friends. No one bought anything super important?” Living so far away meant that it’s probably unlikely to get your stuff back unless you make an effort to see them before school on Monday. “I can ask Wooyoung to pick it up and drive it to our area.”

“But how do we leave?” Soobin asked, confused. They can’t just-

Kai’s unfazed face terrified all of you, admittedly. “Jump the fence.” How does he look so innocent while saying this? Regardless, you followed his lead. How did he know where the lowest part of the fence was? He said it was just luck, just his intuition - but that can’t be; he basically found this place immediately.

By 5:40, all six of you were over the fence; now damp, the wind having dried you up a little.

5:47 was the time you got to the train station, sprinting past the gates as your train was to arrive in three minutes. Regardless, the station was empty. Why would anyone be up at 5:47 on a Saturday morning?

The train arrived at the station at 5:50, the six of you shuffling on and dropping down onto the ugly seats. From a TikTok, you recently learnt that the design of the seats was purely to hide the dirt. Since then, you’ve avoided sitting down on them as much as possible. Despite it being possible to stand, your exhaustion tells you to sit down - your legs feeling weak and your brain feeling hazy. You weren’t feeling this way moments ago, but something about the atmosphere felt heavy - intoxicating.

At 5:51, your head fell onto Soobin’s shoulder.

At 5:52, Kai opens his mouth to speak. However, for some reason - potentially the air feeling heavier, the train feeling like it sped up, a screeching sound piercing through the silence - you felt the need to tighten your grip on the closest thing you were holding. Everyone else did the same.

At 5:53, everything hits you at once.

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 years ago

Note

Could I mayhaps request your opinion on Lilia Vanrouge? I feel like there's a lot more to him than meets the eye and I'm so glad we are seeing more and more diasomnia peeps in the story lately. -♠️

Hi, Deuce— Oof, Lilia is so close to a Bingo too 😫

***Standard disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions of the character(s); regardless of what I may think of them, sharing my thoughts is NOT meant to offend or to shame anyone that thinks differently.***

***CONTENT WARNING: brief mentions of war, PTSD, and survivor’s guilt.***

I have many, MANY thoughts about Lilia, and while some of those are highly speculative, Lilia himself is still a very interesting character just based on the concrete, canon information we have on him.

Firstly, I have to say that I love his design. I admit that it was initially off-putting because his haircut doesn’t look anything like that of the other characters in the cast, but it was somehow still very fitting in spite of that. It’s oddly a hot mess and yet fashionable at the same time 😅 though maybe I just think it’s fashionable because dark hair with hot pink/magenta streaks reminds me of Draculaura, a vampire girl in a fashion doll line that I really enjoy. I also like how Lilia wears his jacket hanging off of his shoulders and the unique design of his school uniform pants; it helps him stand out in the overall cast and gives him a mysterious, almost antique, aura.

Where Lilia really shines is when he’s interacting with others. Being that he is actually considerably older than everyone, he offers a lot of life experience and wisdom that the others don’t have, and it’s amazingly entertaining seeing how he bounces off of his peers because of that. I particularly love when he and Trey are researching for their Magic History project and Lilia keeps elaborating on things he couldn’t possibly have known unless he lived through them, thus leaving Trey confused as to how he is so knowledgeable. The best part about these interactions is that Lilia never flaunts his wisdom or uses it to elevate himself to a more powerful or privileged position than the other students. He still treats others as his equals and friends, making online friends with Idia and chilling with the Light Music Club crew like a normal high school boy would—but he’s not afraid to call people out when he sees them acting up. I especially loved Lilia in episode 2 when he straight up told Leona that he was being immature and that a collar suited him better than a crown. Lilia’s out here spitting cold, hard FACTS 😌

Lilia is described to us as someone who is well-respected in the Briar Valley due to his record as a successful warrior. He’s also said to be extremely frightful in his true form, often scaring the children in his home country around Halloween season. I find these aspects of Lilia very intriguing, and I hope that episode 7 touches upon this more (specifically his history as a veteran). It isn’t really something that has been often acknowledged in the fandom, but I think that since Lilia is a veteran, there’s a lot of deep topics to explore through his character. For example, a considerable amount of people that emerge from war do so with survivor’s guilt and PTSD, and I’m wondering if Lilia is or has experienced something similar as a result? Or does it not faze him because of how long-lived he is? Does he worry about his loved ones and country being exposed to yet another war? It’d be really interesting to see Lilia from these angles.

Lilia is also a very nuanced guardian figure. I always hear people calling Lilia the “best dad” in TWST (to the point where being a good dad is ALL the fandom ever defines Lilia as), but I believe this does a huge disservice to his character. Lilia is NOT “Silver’s dad”, Lilia is LILIA, and he should not be solely characterized by his relationship to his child. Lilia is also NOT really definitively the “best dad”, he’s just the one that immediately comes to mind because we see the most of him out of all the dads mentioned in Twisted Wonderland.

He’s not a bad parent, but he’s certainly not as perfect as many people make him out to be. Yes, Lilia is a good guardian in that he adopted Silver and raised him as though Silver were his very own flesh and blood, but that doesn’t mean Lilia has NEVER made missteps in parenting or that he has NEVER done or said anything to hurt Silver or anyone else, because Lilia definitely has. He was callous in the way he told Silver they weren’t related. He endangered his classmates because he was far too immersed in pulling off a scary prank. He left Silver unattended to, sometimes for weeks at a time. He made fun of other people (along with Ace, whom people seem to universally agree is an asshole) when they were trying their darnest, then plays victim when he gets yelled at for it/doesn’t take the situation seriously when Jack implies their pride has been hurt by his words. Lilia has done a lot wrong, and I while don’t expect him to be perfect (I think being imperfect only adds to his complexity), but I don’t like seeing the focus on his positives, as it ignores a lot of his character. What Lilia truly has going for him is not that he is a “perfect” parent, but that he is a good balance of easygoing yet stern compared to other guardian characters (Jamil is overbearing, Trey is generally way too lax, Jade is an enabler when the situation proves to be amusing, etc.), and he seems to be willing to change or to be better for others.

It might feel like a weird comparison to make, but I honestly feel like a “Lilia” in the Twisted Wonderland fandom. That doesn’t mean I’m hundreds of years old like Lilia is, but I am definitely “old” in terms of “fandom” years, as I was following TWST since the concept was initially teased. Funnily enough, I have been told before that it’s difficult to pinpoint my age based on how I act, since I can be both extremes. I also frequently get feedback telling me that what I say gives new perspectives and that people appreciate my wisdom (analyses, theories, etc.) which is really flattering and makes me sound like some revered ancestor or something 🥺 Mm… It feels like I usually have to be the “adult in the room” when the fandom is on fire or reacting very negatively and emotionally to TWST news. Like Lilia, I’m here to have fun, but I also know when to step in, offer advice, and remind others to calm down and look at a situation more rationally (ie like Lilia calming Sebek down when he freaks out over Malleus being missing).

#Lilia Vanrouge #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #tw // war #tw // ptsd #tw // survivor's guilt #notes from the writing raven #ask game #character opinion bingo

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chateautae · 4 years ago

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maybe i do | kth. I

➵ summary : maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳ part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre : arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 11k

➵ warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, anxiety, lots of feels about marriage, a stupid ex (reader’s), mentions of bad sexual experiences with ex (there’s consent, just bad sex that makes the reader feel shitty), does ceo tae count as a warning?

➵ a/n: hello my first fic of my favourite trope arranged marriage, AND with kim taehyung?? yes pls !! this will be a series and I’ll be actively working on it so you don’t have to wait too long for chapters, i hope you can follow this series with me <33

chapter one : “my forever’s falling down”

prev. ↞ || ↠ next || masterlist

“Another one, Father? I thought I told you my secretary would be handling marriage profiles from now on. Stop concerning yourself with who I marry.”

“But I do, son. Trust me, I know this girl, she’s the daughter of a trusted friend and I think she’s a good match.”

“Father, everyone you choose for me I dislike and it’s distracting me from my work. I don’t need this right now.”

“She’s different, Taehyung. I personally know her and I’m certain you won’t say no.”

“And why is that?”

“There’s something about her you won’t refuse, son, you’ll notice it when you meet her.”

“I don’t want to meet her, Father. Like I said, I need to work.”

“I just knew you’d act this way. Want to know something, son? I’ve made her part of a business deal, you can’t back out of this.”

“What? You made her part of a business deal?! Why would you-”

“Because you wouldn’t have given her a chance otherwise, you haven’t been giving anyone a chance since I’ve been setting up potential partners for you and I’m sick of it. You said you were open to an arranged marriage, where’s that attitude now?”

“Because, Father, I have a company to run and that’s-”

“No. I will not allow you to reduce your life to just this company. There are far more enjoyable things in life than a business.”

“But Father-”

“No, Taehyung. One thing you need to learn is balance. If you don’t give anyone or anything a chance you will live a lonely life behind your desk. Even in this cutthroat world of business where you can lose money or be betrayed by anyone at any moment, the most painful thing to suffer is loneliness, and I won’t let you live in this world alone.”

“Dad-”

“You will meet this girl, Taehyung, end of discussion.”

“Dad! I told you I want nothing to do with your company, how could you let me get dragged into this?!”

“Y/N-ie, I know you value the life you have without any of my help, but let me help just this once, especially with finding a husband. I’m being offered the deal of a lifetime and I can’t refuse, he just happens to be part of it. I need this for the company, please.”

“But Dad, I don’t even know him. And if he’s the CEO of some rich company he’s probably an asshole, I’m not doing this.”

“Y/N-ie, trust me, I know his son. He’s a sincere, hard-working man, I promise.”

“Yeah, right. Even if that’s the case, I still don’t know him, let alone love him, Dad. How can you make me marry someone I don’t love?”

“Because you can learn to love him. There are no rules concerning the way two people should fall in love, love doesn’t always need to come first.”

“But Dad-”

“My daughter, I have not asked you for many things in my life, but this is one thing I must ask of you. Please, just meet him, don’t say no without even trying.”

“Dad, I don’t know-”

“Please, Y.N, do it for me. If not for the company or money, please do it for me.”

And here you were, fidgeting with the tips of your nails, tuning in and out of the present world and overthinking every aspect of your life that somehow lead you to this moment. Sitting on a Leather Italia couch in what was described to be Mr. Kim’s study; listening to your father’s incessant, albeit wholesome chatter next to you with your future in-laws across.

And next to them was their suave, unreadable son sitting in a relaxed manner, flipping his attention between your fathers’ conversation and anything else in the room.

You on the other hand, were utterly high strung due to the fact that your father failed to mention your future fiancé’s identity until 30 minutes before arriving here, having done a quick search in the car to unveil who he exactly was.

And that’s when it hit you. You weren’t marrying just anyone, you were getting married to Kim Taehyung. The infamous CEO of Kim Enterprises—Korea’s largest software development and manufacturing company, rivaling to be one of the largest in the world. He was part of Seoul’s most prestigious circle of businessmen, having made multiple Forbes international lists of Most Successful, Youngest, Richest, and is even one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors, not just Seoul.

If this wasn’t already taking you out, then it was definitely the fact that his photos through a measly Google search did him absolutely, utterly and completely no justice. They simply could never capture the truth of just how handsome Kim Taehyung was in real life. You couldn’t deny it, he wasn’t just good-looking, he was stunning, gorgeous, seemed as though God had created the universe, heaven and hell in 6 days and left the 7th just to create him.

He was like a work of art, worthy of being placed in the finest of museums and left untouched, unsodden by the ugliness of humanity. It made you feel extremely inferior to him in an instant. It was sickening, he was sickening, intoxicating, and quite frankly, intimidating.

It was his look, his undivided stare when he eventually settled his sight on you. It didn’t matter his dark hair that landed and perfectly curled above his eyes, the way he occasionally licked his plush lips or how his long, tall legs spread out before him, it was his look that made you want to turn tail and run.

It seemed to reach into your soul, peer straight through whatever façade, walls or defense mechanisms you could spend years building only to have his simple look tear it down in minutes. He was alluring, captivating, left you wanting to cower into whatever hole you could dig yourself into or discover all the secrets he hid behind those enchanting eyes.

Kim Taehyung was many things you couldn’t quite wrap your head around, though you assessed your priorities and decided they didn’t just include him, but mainly the significance of the current meeting taking place right now.

It wasn’t a mere one-time business deal to discuss a project, it was a meeting that entailed the partnership of both your family companies and would define the next however many years of your life. More specifically, spending it with the exact same man that looked at you without a single readable expression on his face.

You distracted yourself by trying to observe as many useless things as you could, flitting around the room many times before suddenly glancing at Taehyung’s index finger coming up to rest against his lips.

You zeroed your vision in more.

Is that a cut on his finger?

“Jae-in, of course! This is just as important to me as it is to you, your son is a remarkable CEO, and I’m sure he’ll make an amazing husband.”

“Aish, Namhyun, you flatter me too much. My son may be handsome, though your daughter is even more beautiful. I’m very sure she will make a wonderful wife.”

“Yes, Namhyun, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Just as gorgeous as her mother. I know she wasn’t able to make it, though may I ask where your wife is tonight?”

“Ah, unfortunately, she’s out of the country. Though I was hoping my presence would be enough to fill in for her, am I doing a bad job?”

Laughter erupted from the parents in the room, meanwhile, Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the way you immediately winced at the mention of your mother. Something he definitely wouldn’t miss with the way he found himself examining your every move.

It was habitual to him, something born out of his roots in business, only for the purpose of calculating and reading people like an open book.

He knew you’d also become victim to that habit, though oddly enough, he found himself quite interested in observing you. He had already figured you out; you hated business, there was a clear disconnection between yourself and your father’s company and you reeked of a sense of independence that funnily contradicted the antsy way you bounced your leg.

Your way of speech, however, mannerisms, gestures, your look; it was all professional enough you clearly have some sort of background in business. You seemed like an heiress to Taehyung, which you were, though you oddly had no interest in business?

All these details piqued his interest, curious of just who you exactly were, but he was mainly intrigued by the mysterious claim his father made upon mentioning you for the first time.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

That had raked Taehyung’s brain consistently for the past hour now, crossing his legs loosely and his arms folded over his chest, contemplating over and over again as he looked at you, what’s so damn special about her?

‘You’ll notice it when you meet her,’ the words rang in his ears.

That was the driving force behind his calculation, observation, near inability to take his eyes off of you as he learned new things nearly every minute and led him closer to understanding his father.

He could tell you were an anxious person, though hid it behind a persona of false confidence. You had a tendency to stick close to your father despite observing you don’t rely on him for much of anything, even less your mother. The softness behind your every movement despite being from a business background where you should be harsh, rigid, rough around the edges, and yet you seemed entirely different.

Taehyung then realized how inherently dissimilar you were to many of the other women he met. They were all relatively of the same cut and look. Cold, sharp, cunning. All women of pure business; daughters, granddaughters or straight CEOs of wealthy companies, simply interested in marriage as a deal or an advantage rather than a commitment.

And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taehyung was a man of business himself, married to his work, his home behind a desk and the company the only thought occupying his mind 24/7.

But with you, you were interesting, unlike the others and it made him curious.

Taehyung also couldn’t help but notice you were...pretty. You weren’t too overly sexy nor too innocent, you were pretty. There was an elegance to your looks, features like your hair and eyes complementing you as a whole, and he couldn’t miss that you felt oddly...warm.

Taehyung found himself beginning to understand his father’s original viewpoint, considering the possibility he could’ve been correct.

You just seemed different.

“Ah, that seems to be everything. Exact details about the wedding have already been put in place by us.”

“Yes! We’ve been waiting for our TaeTae to get married for so long. We’ve had plans for months now and we can finally move forward with them! You and Y/N don’t need to worry about anything!”

“Mom, did you really just call me that in front of my future fiancé?”

“Oh, let it go, son. It won't be long before she calls you that, too!”

Taehyung could only playfully roll his eyes at his overly excited mother, you scrunching your nose at the embarrassment.

“That’s incredibly generous of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, though my conscience is not one to let such things go. My family should contribute to the wedding in some way. Y/N and I would be happy to do so.”

“Why don’t we discuss that outside? I believe we should give the future couple some time alone, shall we?”

You and Taehyung exchanged a quick look before standing up and respectively addressing either’s parents, Taehyung shutting the door behind them once they exited and having turned to look at you, an awkward silence piercing the air.

There it was again, his look. It was irrefutably the one reason you avoided eye contact with him, you felt he would swallow you up if you shared even 5 seconds between each other.

“So...” Taehyung suddenly broke the ice, eyeing you.

“So...”

“Marriage, huh?”

“Yeah, marriage. Never done that one before.” If there wasn’t a time you vehemently hated yourself, then it was undoubtedly now. You internally facepalmed at your dumb comment, adding a laugh at the end in embarrassment only to look away.

“Uh..yeah.” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Me neither, if you didn’t already know.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away, you fidgeting by the couches everyone previously occupied.

A beat of silence passed as you both exchanged looks between objects in the room and each other, either of you pursing your lips or blowing light raspberries to cut the awkwardness.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hm?” You turned towards him, lips just a pout as your doe-eyes awaited him.

Taehyung didn’t miss that at all.

“Um, your mother. I apologize if this is intrusive of me, though I couldn’t help but notice I’ve never actually met her. May I ask where she is?”

You let out a dry chuckle before answering, another detail that didn’t slip Taehyung’s attention. “Trust me, Taehyung, one thing you’ll never have to worry about during this entire ordeal is my mother. She should be the last thing on your mind.” You assured him with what he could tell was your fakest smile, distracting him from the realization you’d said his name for the first time.

“Are you sure? I’ll be meeting her at the wedding so-”

“You won’t. I don’t think you will. Even if she does make it, it takes very little to impress her, just be yourself and she’ll love you.” You stated with a sense of finality, as though the topic should be dropped.

“Be myself? I’m one of the best businessmen in Korea. It’s my job to get people to like me, easy stuff.” He casually gloated.

“You don’t only have to be a businessman to do that,” you paused and looked at him, “you can just be Kim Taehyung, too.” You spoke nonchalantly, eyes lingering with his for longer than 5 seconds and he, in fact, had not swallowed you yet.

Taehyung instantly furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as if your suggestion was something outlandish, absurd, maybe even offending.

Nobody has ever said such a thing to him, not throughout the entirety of his life.

Taehyung tried his best to recover, searching for another topic of conversation before he was cut off by your rather soft voice, he noticed.

“Oh, I wanted to give you this.” You stepped towards him, reaching into your purse and retrieving something Taehyung couldn’t quite see. You strided over and extended your hand, Taehyung finding himself even more confused.

“A bandage?”

“Mhm. For the cut on your finger. You should probably clean it and apply something before putting this on.” You stated nonchalantly once again, offering him a small smile whilst holding out the bandage.

“Uh...” Taehyung started but couldn’t complete his sentence, lost on how you even observed something as small as his cut and spoke of treating it like it was an actual injury.

After his struggle to form a sentence, you grew bold enough to gently remove his hand from his pocket and place the bandage in his palm, looking back up at him. You shared a momentary look with his chocolate eyes, instantly scrambling after realizing your hand was still in his.

He has really big hands.

“We should um...probably go.” You avoided his eyes, stepping aside quickly to pull the door open.

Taehyung’s mind felt displaced, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the fact that someone had actually left him with nothing to say, an extremely rare occurrence in his book.

He was even more displaced looking at the measly wrapper in his hand, then at the cut on the side of his finger, playing through the last 5 minutes of what just happened.

He scoffed to himself.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

It had been 3 weeks since that meeting, not having seen Taehyung once as you wasted your time enjoying single life luxuries before you prepared for one of marriage.

It still felt odd to say such a thing, marriage, because it didn’t even feel like one, or a real one at that. It was forced, fake, a pressured one out of convenience. It felt more like a deal, something Taehyung and yourself had to settle for in order to keep your parents’ minds at ease.

That thought racked your brain all those 3 weeks; Taehyung had to settle for you, he didn’t choose you, just as much as you settled for him and didn’t choose him either. You both had ultimately agreed to the marriage only in an effort to optimize your parents’ happiness, not your own.

You had no clue how he felt, a mystery as much as the Bermuda Triangle, knowing he most certainly had a grand pick of women to choose from and you were most definitely his worst option.

You knew you were suddenly dumped on him, leaving him no choice in the matter as you learned your marriage entailed a beneficial business deal between your fathers’ companies, and Taehyung couldn’t really refuse you with so much on the line.

You had already felt inferior to Taehyung since the moment you met him, though your insecurities seeped further into the crevices of your doubtful mind the more you thought over that sad fact, contemplating a married life with him. In your opinion you were pretty much undesirable to him, Taehyung probably kicking himself knowing he had to unwillingly call you his wife for the rest of his life.

You just knew you weren’t good enough for him, you would never measure up no matter how hard you’d try and that utterly terrified you. You were confident and independent when it came to yourself, though wedding a near perfect being regarded as one of Seoul’s finest in terms of a CEO and a man?

Confidence be damned, this dude was intimidating.

These were the feelings that swarmed your head as you sulked at your over-the-top engagement party, set up in a prestigious buildings’ gorgeous 37th floor riddled with baroque styling and embellishments, classical music gracing some of Seoul’s wealthiest patrons as their flutes clinked and snobby chatter filled the hall.

It was all extremely high-status, reeking of upper class supremacy and quite frankly, it made you want to throw up.

You distracted yourself by bringing any and all types of alcohol to your lips, trying to focus on anything but your daunting thoughts.

The entire night you hadn’t talked to Taehyung, both of you having been too occupied with the numerous amounts of people meeting and congratulating you. This became a genuine nuisance as you’d mentioned before, this marriage was of convenience, one that brought families and companies together merrily and constituted hundreds of people attending your engagement party you didn’t really know.

Your friends were excited, over-the-moon you bagged a man like Taehyung and chastised you for not having told them about your engagement to him earlier. Your relatives similarly scolded you, pinching your cheeks and praising Taehyung like he was a God while they scrunched their noses at you for concealing him.

How could I tell you when I didn’t even know myself?, you thought.

It was funny they praised your ‘choice’ of a fiancé, positive nobody was saying the same to Taehyung without at least lying. The public only knew of you as your father’s daughter, never having seen you due to your vehement absence from anything remotely related to his company, and much of the business world in general.

You weren’t part of that world, a world of greed and money-driven lunatics. It just wasn't you. It never suited you, left you with a bad taste in your mouth you constantly grimaced at and thought maybe you were the insane one for not understanding its flavour. As you grew older, however, you came to realize it simply wasn’t the path meant for you, someone who valued the independence and achievement of earning something for yourself, by yourself.

Ever since the inception of that principal, your young teenage self resolved you didn’t want to rely on your father’s wealth, especially not his influence or power to achieve your own place in life.

Your father had worked determinedly hard for years in order to stand as high he does now, warranting your acute admiration for your role model of a father, his now successful architecture business landing him a few buildings part of the Seoul skyline.

And after finally achieving his dream, it suddenly morphed into your own aspiration. His hard work drove you to want your own design part of Seoul’s breathtaking scenery as well, by means of your own effort, your own hard work. You didn’t want your father’s help. It felt wrong, like you were cheating if you used him to gain your place and so you condemned your life to one that separated yours and his.

So you lived, worked and earned money without any of his influence.

You worked for an average architecture company where you felt comfortable, happy that you were away from the suffocating high-status business of your family. And although your detachment left your identity a mystery to many, your situation on the other hand was an extremely infamous one.

‘The-runaway-heiress’, was your staple trademark. The judgmental comments about your choice of life and the insults it warranted were never-ending, subjected to that criticism all your life.

There was no doubt Taehyung was hearing all of that, people probably warning him to step out of the marriage before it was too late. You weren’t like Taehyung, who was perfect, desirable, someone everyone either wanted or wanted to be. It left you glad and quite frankly, proud to be wedding a man of such caliber and incredibility, though left you wondering why in God’s name he would ever agree to marry someone like you; average, average and well, average.

“That’s your 5th shot, Y/N, slow the fuck down.” Your best friend Hana’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, snatching the shot glass from your grasp. “It wouldn’t be cool if you were trashed at your own party, dummy.”

Her sudden appearance brought a smile to your face. “I know, I just don’t feel well.” You sighed by the counter of the bar, seated atop a stool as you circled an empty shot glass mindlessly.

“I get you, there’s like, hundreds of people here and you’re probably hearing a lot of different shit.” Hana appealed to you, having read your emotions like an open book. “Speaking of people, I wanted to ask, what’s up with Taehyung and his stare?”

You stifled a snort, looking at Hana’s incredulous face. “It’s just a habit of his. He stares at everyone.”

“Okay... sure, but I didn’t mean everyone, I meant you.” Hana emphasized, comically pointing.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, arm leaning against the bar’s counter as you questioned, “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t really stop staring at you, which is kinda weird. Unless you like that, I don’t judge people’s kinks.” Hana mockingly held her hands up in surrender, gauging a reaction out of you.

You instantly grimaced, “It’s not a kink, Hana. Nice joke by the way, wanna sign up for SNL with that one?”

“I’m serious! I’ve been catching him just looking at you and I don’t know if it’s weird or hot.” Hana informed as you became more puzzled, her becoming oddly excited, “Awh, maybe he’s concerned with how much you keep drinking! That’s so romantic.” She chimed, looking off into the distance dreamily.

“Shut the fuck up, he wouldn’t do that.” You smacked her arm, snatching your shot glass back from her. “Besides, you’re one of the rare people who knows this marriage is fake, you know he doesn’t care.”

“Jheez, way to kill romance?” Hana rolled her eyes, smacking your arm in rebuttal before continuing. “I’m serious, though. This may be fake but he really does keep looking at you, and I don’t know what it means.” Hana speculated, contorting her lips as if in thought.

“It means nothing, Hana. You’re just seeing things.”

“Then why has he been staring at you depressed by the bar for the last half an hour?”

You nearly spit out your drink, “What?”

“Are you clueless or just dumb? He’s been talking to someone for 30 minutes but most of the time he’s been looking at you, and he still is, how haven’t you noticed?”

You creased your eyebrows in surprise as you slowly lowered your shot glass. You turned away from Hana to scan the small crowds of people mingling, eating, drinking in the hall.

You searched the room, drink still in hand until your eyes caught tall, dark and handsome in his finely pressed suit, casually standing with a drink in his hand by a table speaking to someone. You nearly jumped when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, every cell in your body caught off guard.

What made your heart specifically race was the way he didn’t even look away from you. He held your gaze, casually conversing with the person in front of him, eyeing you until he finally cracked a small smirk before turning back to his companion.

Your eyebrows practically shot up to the sky.

“See, weird or hot? Am I even allowed to say hot?” Hana blurted as she reveled in your reaction. “And you really thought I was joking. You don’t believe anything I say, I could tell you the world’s ending and you wouldn’t believe me. I could tell you aliens finally invaded the planet and you wouldn’t believe me until the green motherfuckers knocked on your door themselves and-”

“Hana, shut the fuck up.” You cut her off abruptly and made a face at her. “Why did you even come here?”

“Grumpy, aren’t we?” She flashed you a sarcastic look before sighing. “Your dad wanted me to find you. You and Taehyung have to meet someone important, so you should stop drinking like an alcoholic, dumbass.” Hana informed hastily as she grabbed the shot glass from you and downed it herself.

“Your dad’s by the entrance, go before he gets mad!” She shooed you away, pushing you up until you whisper-yelled and smacked at her to let you go.

You began stepping towards the entrance, smoothing over your dress and this was the moment you realized you may have drank a little too much. You were quick to reprimand yourself, cursing your unprofessional behavior as your inner equilibrium became slightly woozy, senses drowning out a bit, every sound hazed over with a buzz in your veins.

You sucked in a breath to pull yourself together, knowing your dad valued this person enough you and Taehyung had to meet them together.

Taehyung.

You decided to glance in his direction, lips pursing seeing he wasn’t in his previous spot. You chose to ignore it, walking along until you felt a looming presence behind you, almost having time to acknowledge it before a hand suddenly touched the small of your back.

“Looking for me?”

You nearly squealed, jumping with a hand ready to punish before calming down at the sight of Taehyung, sighing with relief. “Jheez, could you use my name? I thought you were a stranger.”

“Well, hello to you too.” Taehyung quipped sarcastically. “And why would a stranger touch your back? Of course it’d be the only man in this room marrying you.” Taehyung narrowly eyed you, scrutinizing your reaction with his hand still pressed to you.

“People do a lot of whatever the hell they want, Taehyung.” You responded turning away from him, heels clacking as you continued to pace towards where your father stood. “W-why’d you do that, anyway?”

Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. “Because we’re engaged?”

“It’s not real, though.”

“It’s as real as it gets.” Taehyung finalized, making it a statement to smile at everyone you passed, to which you realized just how many pairs of eyes glued themselves to you. “This may not feel like a real marriage to us, but to the rest of the world it is.”

He then suddenly leaned himself down to your height and lowered his tone, breath just ghosting your ear. “Y/N, we have to make this seem real, it’s the only way we’ll survive.” Taehyung was the closest he’s ever been to you, and the deep baritone of his voice as he called your name did absolutely nothing but manifest butterflies in your chest.

Why was his voice so deep?

You shook the thought out of your head, ultimately choosing not to say anything because he was in fact, correct. You grinned widely continuing to mask the truth of your arrangements, leaning into him more as you settled for his hand on your back.

You’d noticed it before, but his hand felt particularly large against you now that he was so close. You glanced at his other hand resting by his side, impressed by how masculine they appeared; long fingers with running veins and a roughness to them, sculpted so well you were sure they deserved to be referred to as art. It tickled your giddy side for a second when they seemed to perfectly contrast your more feminine and smaller hands.

It was kinda cute.

You neglected your thoughts once you neared your father, warm-heartedly conversing with a well-dressed man you just about recognized.

“Ah, there you both are!” Your father cheered, reaching out his arm so he could envelop you in a side-hug, returning Taehyung’s bow and addressment.

“Dad, I heard you wanted us to meet someone?” You perked up in a superficial tone, at least attempting to act as though everything was fine and dandy in your life; maybe owing it to the alcohol to endure all the falsehoods.

“Yes, Y/N-ie, I wanted you to meet Mr. Won. Chang-in, my lovely daughter and whom I guess you already know, her fiancé and CEO of Kim Enterprises, Kim Taehyung.” Your father proudly presented you both.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Won, Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung was the first to address the man, extending his hand and bowing as he greeted him. You were almost taken aback by how polite he could be, the way his charming smile graced his features and attractively displayed his perfect teeth. His manner of speech and etiquette were all refined with a high degree of professionalism as well, internally gawking at his duality.

Wasn’t he acting all entitled with you just now?

“Nice to meet you as well!” You collected yourself and cheered, a little baffled as to why Taehyung still rested his hand against your back. “I’m hoping my father has only said good things.” You earned a laugh from the group, Mr. Won responding by receiving your hand with a firm shake.

“Ah, Namhyun, you forgot to mention how beautiful your daughter has grown, and your future son-in-law has me jealous! What a handsome and accomplished young man, the perfect match, the two of them.” Mr. Won praised you both kindly.

You and Taehyung both smiled and thanked him humbly, feeling some heat collect in your cheeks upon Mr. Won’s words. You two? The perfect match? Unless he believes a rock and a Greek statue belong together, then he’s absolutely correct.

Other than that, you chest swarms with butterflies thinking you’re now referred to as ‘two’.

Taehyung for some odd reason encircles the curve of your waist suddenly, pulling you closer to him. You last minute sputter at the intimate action before leaning into him, one arm nervously encasing his torso as the other rests against his chest.

You feel him tense underneath you.

“Aish, you’re such a flatterer. Y/N-ie, do you remember Mr. Won? My friend from university? You haven’t seen him in a while.” Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, trying to jog your memory.

“Oh, you mean Mr. Won from SNU?” You suddenly remembered, looking to your father for confirmation.

“Yes, so you do remember!”

“Of course I do, how could I forget!” You smiled brightly and returned your gaze to the familiar man. “Mr. Won used to sneak me ice cream when you wouldn’t let me have any, Dad.” You scolded him with a playful jab to his arm, inviting more laughter. “I apologize for not recognizing you right away, it’s been a long time, Mr. Won, forgive me.” You solemnly apologized, Mr. Won giving you a look of understanding.

“Ah, forget it, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, although since it’s been a long time I hope you remember my son? He should be here somewhere..” Mr. Won trailed as his eyes fished over the grand hall, scanning around.

“Your son..” You repeated to yourself, realizing there was a familiar connection itching at your mind, he was your age actually-

Wait.

Oh God, not him.

Anything but him.

You felt raw panic seep into the spaces between your ribs, your chest filling with a constricting feeling of anxiety you couldn't shake off. Your heart picked up speed and the alcohol coursing through your veins didn’t help your judgement or memory at all, mind fogged over with the poison we dare call alcohol.

You felt stupid, so utterly stupid. How could you forget Mr. Won and who his Godforsaken son was?

You felt an anxiety attack riddling you, shifting your weight on your feet as you tried to bite back your uneven breathing. You just couldn’t see this man, especially in a situation where you were standing next to your husband-to-be.

Taehyung wasn’t so invested in the conversation before him, mindlessly nodding along before he felt you physically freeze next to him, his glance to the side confirming your pale look, watching as your panicked eyes faltered to the floor and revealed... fear?

He registered your odd shifting and your failed attempts at plastering a smile, confused if you knew this guy and if you did, why were you freaking out so much?

Were you in love with him or something?

The thought minutely bugged him until he watched you turn straight up uncomfortable, horrified when Mr. Won called out his son’s name.

“Kiseok-ah! Come here!”

You stopped breathing when you heard the name, eyes going wide as you avoided eye contact with anyone in the group, but caught Taehyung’s undivided attention. He grew curious when Kiseok sauntered over to the group, your hand on his chest suddenly squeezing his suit as the mysterious man greeted everyone respectfully.

Taehyung watched as his intrigued eyes locked on you, eyebrows perking up amusedly as his lips curved into a smile Taehyung honestly couldn’t admit to liking.

“Y/N? Wow, long time no see. It’s been what, a year?” The man Kiseok called out happily, like there was absolutely no problem occurring here but as Taehyung felt your hand clutch onto his suit, lips just about quivering before you forced a smile, he knew there was most certainly a problem.

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, small, and Taehyung found himself wondering how a courageous person like you was all of a sudden cowering.

He’d heard it all night, all the accounts of your other life away from the business world. He wasn’t going to lie, he heard a multitude of opinions concerning you, many of which including either looking down on you or telling Taehyung there’s many other, more powerful women in business he could’ve been marrying instead.

But Taehyung didn’t care for their opinions, he found you the most powerful woman he could ever marry, and agreed to do so because of that very prospect. Sure, you were estranged from the business scene and practically abandoned any role you’d play in your father’s company in order to pursue your own personal aspirations, but if anything, Taehyung found it highly commendable.

Taehyung knew it took guts to do what you did, a bold and daring act that no other heir or future heir of a wealthy company could ever think of doing, including himself.

What he found to appreciate most was your unwillingness to give in, where you had to have heard all the back-handed and snobby comments, yet you still held your head up high, remained rooted and adamant in keeping your current way of life. It instantly signaled to him you were courageous, fearless, unable to be stopped in your tracks.

So when he watched you become smaller and smaller the more you stood in the vicinity of this Kiseok, he knew something was sincerely wrong.

“Ah yes, it’s been quite some time. Why don’t we step away from you three? You could do some catching up.” Your father urged as he motioned Mr. Won to step away with him. You lightly addressed them only to have your hands neglect Taehyung entirely and start fidgeting, attempting to calm your nerves as the alcohol inebriated your system and magnified your anxiety by tenfold.

“Ah, yes, Kim Taehyung, CEO of Kim Enterprises. I’ve been meaning to meet you.” Kiseok extended his hand as his voice irked you with every syllable, trying your best to seem like absolutely nothing was wrong.

Taehyung reached out his hand in response uneagerly, giving a small shake while wondering why you let him go. “That’s news to me, nice to meet you.” Taehyung responded, already feeling an intense aura of discomfort and tension between you both, sensing he was missing out on something that seemed 6 ft deep.

“Likewise. Y/N..” Kiseok suddenly turned towards you, making you wince. You painted on your smile as you lifted your vision. “Kiseok.”

“How’ve you been?”

“Better than ever. You?”

“Marvelous, just wondering what your life’s looked like since I haven’t been in it.”

“I believe I said better than ever, didn’t I?”

Kiseok scoffed unamused, “So a year, huh? In all that time you suddenly found yourself a fiancé, and Kim Taehyung at that?” Kiseok seemed to be making light-hearted conversation to anyone outside of your group, though you knew deep down the hostility behind his words.

“Yeah, I did. It just happened.” You shrugged, gaining the confidence to counter him. “And you? Plan on putting a ring on any of your girls? Maybe the 5th or 7th one you liked?” You sarcastically questioned, furrowing your brows in mock contemplation.

“No, you know I’ve always had my eye on one girl when it came to marriage.” Kiseok eyed you knowingly, purposefully, like he was trying to make it obvious.

You snorted and glared at him, “If I remember correctly, your attitude said otherwise.” hatred began boiling under your skin. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second, memories between you two coming back in flashes. You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Taehyung’s hand suddenly entangled with yours, pulling you towards him almost defensively.

You were surprised, looking at your connected hands and back up at Taehyung. He returned your look, peering down at you as he smiled warmly, affectionately.

“I’m sorry, Kisook? Was it? My future wife and I have plans for tonight. May you excuse us?” Taehyung didn’t even let Kiseok respond before he was pulling you away, in complete shock at his first lack of manners you’d ever seen. You were only left to watch Taehyung as he lead you along, gaining the timely opportunity to realize he was taller than Kiseok, and in fact significantly taller than you.

Taehyung was a large man in general, you noticed. His shoulders looked broad from behind, accentuated by the fit of his suit which also emphasized the expanse of his chest, tastefully exposing his sculpted neck. His legs were long, proportioned perfectly in accordance with the rest of his model-like figure, which was ideally fit and contained just the right amount of muscle.

Dear God, you took your time with this one.

You didn’t even realize Taehyung had pulled you into a secluded hallway or that you were ogling him when he suddenly stopped, turning in your direction and snapping you out of a near fever dream.

Yeah, alcohol was not a good idea tonight.

“Who the fuck was that?”

“What?”

“That douche, who was that?” Taehyung inquired slightly pissed, in need of the asshole’s identity after watching whatever shitshow he didn’t pay for.

“Nobody, Taehyung, he shouldn’t concern you.” You looked away from him, pouting in a way that made Taehyung momentarily notice the plush of your lips.

Again?, was all he could think, first, your mother, and now this guy? Just how many people did you have bad connections with and he needed to ignore?

Why were there so many intricate pieces to you?

“Are you kidding me? He concerns me now, your mother I can understand but this guy? Nothing to me. I could step on him.” Taehyung proclaimed confidently and stood up broader, conviction written all over his face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his remark, resembling the thought you had earlier. “I was just thinking, you’re a lot taller than him.”

Taehyung couldn’t help but bite back a smile, watching you giggle like a shy high schooler and his ears gladly welcomed the soft sound. “Damn straight I am.” He adjusted the jacket of his suit suavely. It was then he remembered what his other hand was doing; still holding yours.

His eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief.

He squeezed your hand a little tighter and yanked you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crashed into him, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widened in complete surprise.

“So you were thinking about me, huh?” Taehyung teased with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face.

You ignored the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneering at him. “Shut up, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see you’re taller.” You forced space between you two and tried snatching your hand from him, but his grip transformed into an iron lock.

“Says the one who was thinking about me.”

“Taehyung, shut-” You almost huffed out but as soon as you stepped away, your copious consumption of alcohol suddenly attacked you all at once, vertigo making you lose your balance until Taehyung reached out to steady you.

“Jheez, did you have to drink tonight?” Taehyung chastised you as you fell into him, head spinning with disorientation and growing flimsier by the second. “You’re probably a lightweight at your size.”

“I am not a lightweight. You don’t even know how much I drank, it was a lot.” You bit back in rebuttal, hooking onto his taut forearms as he supported you.

“But I did see.” He voiced barely above a whisper, causing you to snap your vision up at him incredulously. “What?”

“Nothing, it shouldn’t concern you.” Taehyung mocked, though still tried to fix you onto your own footing.

You didn’t even get to scrutinize him further when you felt another round of dizziness plague you, balance faltering again. Taehyung huffed out and finally flanked you on his side, arm encasing your shoulders as he adjusted you. “Okay Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, you should eat something.” He fit you beside him, beginning to walk you towards the main hall.

Taehyung in this moment didn’t understand what he was doing, utterly clueless as to what was fueling his actions. He was uncertain why he found himself.. caring? He didn’t even know you, yet he couldn’t help but become a little concerned when he watched you down drinks like it was New Year’s Eve.

How can all that alcohol fit into one tiny person?

What was he even thinking when he dragged you away from that Kisuk guy? Why did he feel like protecting you all of a sudden? A near sense of possessiveness? He wasn’t even your real husband.

It started giving Taehyung a headache. This was all strange, a foreign concept he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t know if it was the result of his considerate personality or only manifested solely because of you.

The same way Taehyung dealt with his inner turmoil, you dealt with yours; you were always so adamant on independence though ironically found yourself leaning on Taehyung.

Oddly, you let him carefully guide you back into the hall with no protests.

It was the day of the wedding.

You wish you could recall your emotions throughout the day, certain there would be at least a sliver of a positive one. Though as you remained unmoving, nearly catatonic, unresponsive to your surroundings, you knew there wouldn’t be a single happy memory in the tsunami of sorrow that attacked you today.

Emotions of grief plagued consistently as you realized the loss of everything you valued most in your life. Your happiness, your freedom, your ability to choose. The stripping of all those bundled into an stifling wad in your chest that left you in a perpetual state of wanting to cry.

The sting in your heart when you realized your mother didn’t bother to come, the excruciating smile you forced onto your features when Taehyung’s mother delicately placed the veil atop your head, the secret tears you shed after adorning your body with a wedding dress you didn’t even choose; it all left you internalizing feelings of utter agony.

And none of it was your real choice.

Even the flowers at the wedding weren’t your favourite.

This day was horrifying. You couldn’t believe you prided yourself on your independence, refusing to give in despite numerous challenges and never taking a word of what anyone said to you. Even when someone begged you to change or come back to your old life, you always chose for yourself. You never allowed someone to push you around, seldom coerced into anything solely based on the wishes of another.

Yet here you were, standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having easily followed every word of your father’s and sacrificed your deepest principles in order to make him happy, to appease and live up to his expectations that weren’t your own.

It was utterly frightening, appalling. As if you had lost the one true commendable feature of the intricate character you were, suddenly lost the acclamation of others even if they didn’t know the true nature of your marriage.

But what disgusted you the most was truly, that you had lost respect for yourself.

These grim thoughts were the ones that attached themselves to you as you hesitantly hooked your arm with your father’s. You used every ounce of strength to not flee, to remain here, to still walk down that isle with your head held high like you always have despite abandoning every foundation of the character you’d spent years working on.

You didn’t care that your eyes watered, masking them with the facade of happy tears from the blushing bride. You didn’t care when your father looked incredibly concerned and wondered what was so wrong, you didn’t care how sorrowful you may have appeared to anyone at this ironically glamorous event.

Though what you did care for was that you couldn’t hold your head up as you walked down the isle, vision fixated on the ground as your tears betrayed you, spilling out at the traumatizing feeling of not being able to stand tall like you always did, something stripping you of your self-reassurance, your strength, your confidence.

It all spelled the requiem of your soul as you reached the end, dwelling in the impossibility this was happening to you until you felt the touch of Taehyung’s fingertips, guiding you up the stairs. It was then confirmed to you this was in fact real, part of your new reality you had no choice but to accept.

You suddenly felt eternal gratitude for the veil that now covered your face, hiding the tears you cried at mourning the loss of everything you worked for.

While the priest’s words were read, you didn’t exchange a single look with Taehyung, knowing you’d only want to evaporate into the air, to run away at light speed or have someone in a turn-of-events suddenly take your life, just so you didn't have to face the humility of giving up the life you’d spent blood, sweat and tears building if you looked him in the eye.

You felt the weight of your unknown future crushing you, pushing you towards the precipice as you gripped Taehyung’s hands harder to ground yourself.

You were to rely on Taehyung, to share a bond with him you had never spent time cultivating, expected to live a life next to him while never being able to truly understand him, know him, love him. The natural process of falling in love now tainted with the coercion of a pressurized marriage, losing the opportunity to achieve any true sense of love. You’d never experience finding the one anymore, your soulmate, the other end of your red string of fate.

That realization made your tears spill harder, disconnecting your hand from Taehyung’s to prevent your choked sobs becoming audible, holding your palm against your quivering lips.

To anyone beyond you and Taehyung, it would look as though you were crying tears of happiness, joyously weeping at your matrimony with the love of your life, though as Taehyung felt the shaking of your hands, your refusal to meet his gaze as you reluctantly walked down the isle, the agonizing pain he could see through the sheer of your veil, he knew you were far from happy.

He couldn’t help but purse his lips together tightly, knowing you were probably swallowing insurmountable torment down your throat because of this marriage, and tears pricked at his own eyes finding himself able to relate.

He wasn’t just upset for you or himself, it was the entire situation, quite frankly the fucking world. The fact that the universe planned this as your destiny, his destiny, that the happiness of your parents and two companies came at the expense of both yours and his.

He knew you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t the reason just as much as you weren’t the reason either, it was the arbitrary nature of the arrangement. That whatever version of true love and happily ever after you and Taehyung had separately dreamed of, it could never come to life.

Even if the company meant everything to Taehyung, his CEO position more important than whatever position he’d play as some husband, seldom having time to consider love and relationships, he still harboured the same wants and desires any human would. A partner, a companion he truly loved with whom he’d start a family eventually, create a life for them and himself defined by love and comfort.

Though Taehyung only knew now you would both die with your decision-making capabilities robbed of you, bound to each other forcibly without the ardor of real love.

Taehyung’s every thought was proven correct when the two of you exchanged your vows in near strangled chokes and shaky tones, appearing as happy emotions to the guests of the wedding though only you two knowledgeable of each other’s suffering.

Your vision finally met Taehyung’s once you heard the rawness in his voice, your miserable emotions doubling when you registered he was just in the same pain as you. It was in that moment the priest’s words became audible and rang loud in both your ears, suddenly grounding you two to earth and reminding you of your reality.

“You may kiss the bride.”

Both of your eyes grievously locked for a moment of horrified realization; that you were seconds away from going through with this, throwing each other’s lives away for the utilitarian benefit, abandoning any sense of choice in whom you both would spend a lifetime with.

Taehyung swallowed thickly as he removed your veil, feeling his eyes fill with tears again when he laid them upon your utterly devastated, tear-stained face. You were using every nerve in your body to stop yourself from sobbing and caving into the ominous thought of fleeing the ceremony.

Taehyung’s sight wondered to your lips as they still quivered, nearly swollen red at the intensity in which you bit them, awaiting the kiss you were certain would be filled with frustration and hatred, hatred for the mud you were dragging him through, hatred for pressuring him into suddenly valuing something more than his work and his company, to suddenly become a husband to you.

Though as he watched the terror flashing through your eyes, tears watering your lash line, he knew he could never feel anything so ardently negative towards you, remembering exactly what he was stripping you of.

The life you built on your own, defying any and everyone’s expectations of yourself, cursing your heir status to hell, your strength, your independence. Now? Your life was bound to his, bound to one where you were obliged to sacrifice yourself for your father’s company and the upper class cesspool you’d spent so long trying to run away from.

So as Taehyung began closing the gap between you two, nearing your shaking figure, he resolved he wouldn’t make this hard. He would try, try to accept that his life now entailed you, would try to work towards the balance his father insisted he needed, try to understand that you were now part of his priorities and could never simply ignore you.

He glided his thumbs against the back of your hands that held his pacifyingly, leaning down until he was just inches from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. He unexpectedly spoke quietly, meaningfully, seconds away from sealing the deal of an uncertain future, though, remained certain of this one thing.

“I’ll take care of you, Y/N, I promise.” And he kissed you in a single breath, no haste, no pressure, only the gentle touch of his lips as they met yours, soft and light.

Maybe Taehyung didn’t know the exact feelings behind his promise, but he knew the meaning; that no matter the arrangement, the non-existent feelings, the loss of choice, he would at least take care of you like any husband would, a good husband.

He at least owed you that.

You were left shocked at the nature of his kiss, Taehyung’s warm lips connecting with yours tenderly. You were convinced the tears you saw in his eyes were enough to assert he hated this, frustrated he had to sell his soul, wishing to only rush the kiss so he could call it a day and ignore you for the rest of his life.

Though what you never expected was the promise he made, or the way he kissed you with such intimacy you found yourself melting into his touch, reciprocating. He kissed you like you were fragile, locking your lips in a way that solidified his promise, as if out of all the empty vows you spoke today, this was the one, true vow he would keep. His lips felt plush against yours, catching his mouth just a little more before the bittersweet disconnection.

You and Taehyung exchanged a poignant look, small smiles decorating both your faces with a mutual understanding swimming in your eyes as you gripped each other’s hands. You let his promise permeate the air between you two, finding solace in his words as the applause of everyone attending the ceremony filled the hall.

Maybe it was the warm way Taehyung always pressed his hand to the small of your back when you spoke to others the whole night, maybe the way he veered you away from excessive amounts of alcohol with a light-hearted scolding considering that last time you drank, or maybe even the way he gently held you during your first dance..

Maybe it was all these considerate, kinds act that made you view Taehyung in a less negative light and rather a favourable one, that maybe he wouldn’t be the asshole CEO you’d first accused him of being.

You would also be an idiot to not mention how completely and utterly handsome he was, looks carved by the Greeks themselves, quite possibly the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on.

And maybe all that accumulated into your assured opinion that when it came to consummating your marriage with Taehyung, you’d have no qualms or worries whatsoever. You would be absolutely willing, ready to take the night on and maybe even have some fun for yourself with whom you could tell was a really, really nice guy.

Though as Taehyung walked calmly in front of you towards your hotel suite, reaching into his suit pocket for the card key he’d retrieved at the front desk to swipe against the lock, your chest clogged with a crushing feeling of anxiety you couldn’t subdue.

These weren’t the same nerves of maybe being not pretty enough, body insecurities or fear of what to expect from Taehyung, no, these nerves came from the utter panic of having to experience sex with another man.

Especially since your last partner.

It always started with your permission, that wasn’t the issue, Though what left you afraid, so utterly frightened with the thought of spending a night with a man like this came from the treatment you received from that partner.

Safe to say, you weren’t treated kindly. Far from that, actually, you were treated as though you had no needs or were a means of simple use. Your last partner was the opposite of giving, he was selfish, self-absorbed and only concerned himself with his own pleasure, going on and on only until he was satisfied and neglected you in every sense of the word, sometimes even refusing to listen to you if you protested.

To make matters worse, he wasn’t faithful.

You knew he slept around, a lot, it was the number one reason you never agreed to actually date him, never make things official.

But the reason you would end up sleeping with him was because of the most perfectly imperfect concept among the human race; love. You believed every time with him was a new chance to make that love real, that it was the genuine manifestation of your feelings for one another, thinking maybe he wasn’t the asshole he always portrayed himself as and could man up enough to love you unconditionally.

And he completely reeled you in, made you fall in love too quickly and made you believe he was capable of love. This grew exponentially when you were often described as ‘the different one’, the one he always came back to, that you were special. You clung onto those words as much as you could, convinced each time you were in fact the one for him, that maybe one day, he’d wake up and abandon his fuckboy lifestyle and mature.

But everyday that went by, every promise that was never fulfilled, every word that wasn’t met with an action, and especially after every hook up that resulted in nothing new, you began to understand you were everyone’s favourite role in a Shakespearean play.

The fool.

You were a joke to believe anything he said, the most naive person on earth to think you were any different from the others, when every night simply ended in rough fucks, virtually no orgasm and miniscule aftercare.

It left you essentially scarred, traumatized that every man in the world was built like this. It didn’t help that whenever you look back, many of your ex partners were of the same cut, the same trope of assholes that don’t seem as bad but end up being exactly so.

It was what made you swallow thickly as Taehyung opened the door to the suite, holding it open as he moved aside to let you enter first. You walked forward and unintentionally brushed against him, realizing how much smaller you were in comparison to him all over again.

He towered over you, and it made you more nervous.

You looked up at him momentarily and quietly thanked him as you stepped inside, setting your sights on the large, king sized bed situated on one side of the room, a lounging area with couches to the other side which lead to a bathroom. Seoul’s breathtaking skyline was visible in the dark of the night through wall-to-ceiling windows opposite to you, covered by flowy, sheer curtains.

You took a deep breath, trying to remind yourself Taehyung was not the same. Not all men are the same, you can’t inflict the mistakes and wrongdoings of one man onto another, categorize them into one kind. You wanted to think this way, and you knew it was the humane way to think.

But as the memories of those heart-aching nights filled your head, the empty words, the lack of care or concern, the neglect, the feelings of pure abandonment and use only caused your heart to beat profusely in your chest, clutching onto the neckline of your dress to breathe.

What if Taehyung really was no different?

It then suddenly hit you you didn’t know him. All you knew of Taehyung was that he was a fiercely successful business man, sitting atop Seoul’s most prestigious with Godly looks and a stare that could kill a man. You remembered your initial feelings about him; his stare in fact intimidated you, quite frankly all of him intimidated you, he was the epitome of perfection and you were far from that very notion. It left you thinking you didn’t measure up, and that he could view you in a dissimilar light than you viewed him; an unfavorable one.

He could simply not want you, but is forced to.

You’d observed his kind behavior and actions over the odd two days you met him, though that was exactly the inculpatory factor; you had only met him twice. You didn’t know what he would be like alone, when it was just the two of you, when there weren’t eyes scrutinizing him and cameras snapping shots of his every move.

You didn’t know how he would be like in the bedroom, either.

Your mind raced as you conflicted with yourself, trying to understand that Taehyung could be different, though apprehensive with the miniscule knowledge you actually had of him.

You discerned after that last asshole of a partner you needed the love and care of a real partner, someone who would tend to your needs, adore you in the midst of their actions, be a giver and not just a receiver.

And you didn’t know if Taehyung would be that partner.

“Y/N...” Taehyung called out to you rather softly as he removed his suit jacket, the rustling of the cloth signaling he had indeed done so. His footsteps were hard to miss, the soles of his shoes sounding against the hardwood floor as he neared your lonesome figure standing in the middle of the room.

Your breathing quickened with nearly every step he took, attempting to resolve the civil war you were battling within. You were trying to convince yourself Taehyung would be a nice man, a nice husband; though couldn’t help but feel deflated by the fact it was all mainly coerced out of him.

Your thoughts overwhelmed you as Taehyung finally stood behind you, mere inches from your back as he watched you from behind, unbeknownst of any feelings or thoughts currently riddling you.

He hesitated, though gently placed his hand against your bare arm, the sudden warmth of his hand against your skin causing you to flinch. He peered down at your smaller self squarely focusing in front of you, anticipating your response. He grew slightly soft when you tentatively looked over your shoulders, clearly teary-eyed.

Taehyung couldn’t miss how scared you seemed, and he his heart inexplicably stung at the thought you were afraid of him.

“We don’t have to do this.” Taehyung’s voice was low and resembled warm honey, reverberating in a way that made you ease up.

You worked towards a stable voice. “W-we don’t?”

“No, we don’t” His voice held no disappointment, only the intention of seemingly wanting to assure you, firm and oddly comforting.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” It was hard to keep your tone leveled, clutching your hand over your mouth as you swallowed your emotions.

“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

You strangely felt the desire to hold his hand that rested against you, though you ignored the urge and simply stepped out of his touch, clutching your chest tightly in an effort to cower away from him. But it was here you suddenly remembered that he kissed you, and the way he did so.

It made your cheeks fill with a rosy blush.

“Do you mean that?” You’d finally turned to meet his eyes, his face only visible by the moonlight illuminating the room. He seemed to have retracted his hand and stood with both tucked in his pockets, relaxed.

This became the first time you noticed just how ravishing he looked tonight.

His dark hair was slicked back loosely and left enough pieces to fall as a comma, graciously exposing his forehead, his Tom Ford suit attractively hugged his model-like body, watch and accessories accentuating his expensive look.

His features were casted over by soft lighting, somehow adding to his beauty as the glow made him appear... less intimidating, dare you say warm or inviting.

His expression was funnily enough, one that you could actually read. He held no contempt, no impatience or anger, only a hint of consideration as his calm eyes looked at you. His face may have been predominantly blank, void of a smile, though certainty held a form of reassurance.

“Of course I do, why would I do anything with an unwilling person?”

You scoffed lightly, “Not a lot of people would say that.” Your eyes faltered from Taehyung’s and clutched yourself tighter, expression completely telling of trauma.

Taehyung instantly picked up on it, eyebrows slightly furrowing at your words though softening once registering their weight. He felt an overwhelming sense of apology take him, thinking of his next sentence before his mind oddly flashed back to the night of the engagement party.

“Y/N, did Kiseok..?” Taehyung trailed hesitantly.

You winced at his line of thinking, “No, no...not what you’re thinking,” you immediately denied. “Just, shitty experiences.”

“Shitty, as in...?”

“As in only seeking self-satisfaction, neglect, lies, infidelity. Can we go to sleep?” You deflected with a heavy sigh and a hand at your temple, the day’s events catching up to you.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sleep. We both need that.” His eyes then landed on the bed, registering even if it were large enough you two could sleep apart, he still opted for caution.

“Um.. you can take the bed, by the way. I’ll sleep on the couch-”

“No, don’t do that.” You replied quickly. “I can’t sleep on a king-sized bed all by myself, it’s huge.” You side-eyed the massive mattress and laughed a little, lightening the heavy aura casted over the room.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Don’t worry, Taehyung. You don’t make me feel uncomfortable.” You smiled at him lightly and received a small one from him, both your eyes mirroring the same sense of understanding you exchanged at the altar.

“I’ll let you wash up first, your overnight bag should be in the bathroom closet.” Taehyung informed, pointing towards the direction of your things.

“Thank you.” You voiced with an amount of warmth that made Taehyung want to genuinely smile, though crushed the weird urge and nodded agreeably instead.

You began walking away from him until a nuisance suddenly occurred to you, cursing yourself as you came to a full stop. “Um, Taehyung.. I forgot but could you..?” You angled your back towards him to call out to the ribbons tying the back of your dress, knowing you would’ve taken 20 years just to untie your bodice yourself.

The fact that you weren’t looking directly at Taehyung made him feel relieved, glad he wouldn’t embarrass himself with the his eyes slightly widened. He was quick to reprimand himself, it’s just a woman’s dress, why the hell are you shocked?

Taehyung swallowed dryly before replying, “Uh, yeah I’ll--I’ll do that.” He walked towards you sparingly and positioned himself behind you.

He’d noticed it before, but you were relatively small compared to him in size and it continued to poke at his brain, maybe even momentarily think it was cute.

Cute? When have I ever found a girl cute?

Taehyung exhaled before his hands carefully made for the silk ribbons, his tentative fingers fiddling with the ties until he eventually began loosening each one. He started unlooping your bodice, breathing out considerably when each loop began exposing your back inch by inch.

Taehyung’s sweet, hot breath fanned your skin, tensing each time as your every nerve went haywire feeling just how close he was. His slender fingers brushed against your bare skin here and there, making heat collect in your face.

You grew even hotter when your kiss with him suddenly crept back into your mind, unknowing of the reason why excitement and electricity shot throughout your body because of it. The way his soft, full lips met yours, mouthed at you tastefully repeated in your head, making you extremely nervous at how much a measly kiss from him was occupying your mind; it was just a kiss.

Taehyung found himself tensing by the intimacy of the moment, remembering the way he so boldly kissed you. He found that he liked the plush of your lips, the way he had to bend down to your smaller height to lock lips; and it made him feel strange.

How the hell was he taking interest in something other than his work? No, this isn’t interest, Taehyung thought, and would spend however long denying it.

He’d finished the task throughout all his thinking, unrealizing of how proximal he was to you. He oddly hated that the moment was over, coming back down to Earth.

“There you go.” He cleared his voice and stepped away from you.

You held your bodice up against your chest, realizing Taehyung had a full-access view of your back and you grew 10x hotter. You gulped at the thought before hastily turning around to thank him, quickly disappearing into the bathroom for a moment of reprieve.

You shut the door and instantly breathed out a breath you didn’t remember holding, looking at your hot mess of a face in the mirror trying to cool down, reliving the last 10 minutes of what just happened.

You took a deep breath.

Maybe Taehyung is different after all.

prev. ↞ || ↠ next || masterlist

#thebtswritersclub #bangtanhq #kwritersworldnet #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #taehyung scenario #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung #taehyung arranged marriage au

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dodo-begone · 4 years ago

Text

Could you Not?

Pairing: Techno x Reader

Request: yooo remember a while ago when we were talking abt Techno hiding you from the yandere boys?? that would be hella neat to see ngl —

Word count: 1.9k

Warning: yandere, stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, panic attack at end

A/n: yan!minors are mentioned, that’s why there’s a yandere warning.

The day was predestined to be great; a day full of sunshine and peace. So many potatoes would be tilled, the dog army would grow exponentially and other calming hobbies.

Now let’s be honest, that isn’t the reality of things at all. Nothing is ever nice and simple. Life always needs to throw a curveball at people; keeping them on their feet, on edge for their entire existence. Techno was no exception from this rule. His life had been plagued by tragedy and hardships. It made him calloused and desensitized towards the world and whatever challenges it had to throw at him. Though nothing could have really prepared him for what came next. Well he actually did, in a way. Similar in reasoning yet very different in the reaction and how the problem was presented to him.

Puffy stood at his door, struggling to hold someone the size of her. They were thrashing around, screeching to be released from their confines. She looked exhausted and beyond worried. There were few words to describe her state. Sadness painted her face like clouds painted the sky; it was evident with every feature of her face, every movement of her brow and reddening eyes. Pants escaped her lips and the struggling wasn’t helping her catch the escaping breaths.

The person Puffy was holding wasn’t any better. They looked malnourished, dirty, panicked, stressed. Those were just the obvious and quick observations. There were probably so many other hidden issues with this person. Honestly, Techno didn’t want to deal with them or Puffy. He was absolutely done dealing with people.

He’d have to get over it though, as Puffy asked him to care for this mystery person. She pleaded so much, saying that if they couldn’t stay with him, they’d be in terrible danger. Techno was her only option in protecting this person. There were some horrible people looking for the person in her arms and she couldn’t protect them on her own. Honestly he was only half listening. He really didn’t want to hear about another person’s sob story and how they so desperately needed his help. How they just couldn’t make it without his help. Occasionally Techno nodded or gave a “mhm” to indicate he was listening. Because that’s the polite thing to do, even if you aren’t listening. It shows you are listening and seems polite. Though he should’ve paid a bit more attention because the next thing he knew a fucking child was getting shoved into his arms.

They were so tiny that they could qualify as a child. So frail, too skinny, hair matted and looked too pale for their natural complexion. Horrified couldn’t even describe how he felt; he did not want to be holding this person, they looked so fragile and could be hurt so easily. Plus they were screaming and crying, still fighting to get out your captor’s grip, which was currently him. Distressed and crying people weren’t the most pleasant to be around especially when you’re a seven foot tall, socially awkward piglin hybrid.

Techno tried to return them to Puffy’s possession. She refused, pushing them further into his hold. She kept insisting that he let them stay with him, at least for a little bit. There was little time to prepare a place for them to stay and they needed the constant protection and some care. Techno kept arguing with Puffy, saying that he really didn’t want, need or have the time to care for them.

It wasn’t long when Puffy finally ended the argument with one phrase; “you still owe me an IOU.”

_______________________________________________

“So is this it,” Techno reluctantly asked, gently bouncing the slumbering stranger. It was and wasn’t surprising how worn out they ended up after the argument. Half-way through the arguing and accommodations, they finally calmed and soon fell asleep. Though they were violently shivering; this conversation couldn’t keep going like this. They both looked at them and looked back at each other.

“Yes. Please,” Puffy whispered, gently putting her hand onto their arm. “Please take care of them for now. You don’t have to care for them long. I just-i just need some time to set them up a place and some help. There were few options to go with and you were the best one.”

Silence settled over them once again. Techno sighed, building his resolve to care for another kid. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

Puffy awarded Techno with one of the most relieved smiles he had ever encountered. She was visibly relaxed, not holding herself up like a puppet who’s tense strings were being tugged. “Now get going Puffy,” Techno ushered. “I can take it from here.”

With that, Puffy started her trek back home, through the unforgiving tundra. As Techno watched her walk away, he wondered how she managed it. How she could carry someone the size of herself for god-knows how long.

He couldn’t ponder long. The person in his arms was still out in the harsh cold and definitely not dressed or prepared for weather like this. A very vulnerable position. With that, he opened the door with his foot and brought the two of you inside.

There weren’t many places to lay someone down. The floor was an option, but it was probably super cold. Techno wasn’t too sure, but he also didn’t want to risk it at the moment. Scanning around reveals a small issue; Techno’s reading chair is the only place to sit that isn’t the damn floor. Crackling fire brought his attention to the welcoming presence of the hearth. So either the floor with the fireplace or the chair which was a decent distance from the fireplace. Was it really a question at that point?

Walking over to the fireplace, Techno tried to disturb the person as little as possible. He started to slowly place them onto the ground. They wouldn’t really notice if they were as exhausted as they looked. When they touched the ground, they stirred and groaned at the change in temperature. Swiftly Techno place them on the floor and held his hands up; a way of saying “okay i’m not touching it so it shouldn’t break now- don’t break”. After a few moments of stillness, Techno deemed himself to be in the “all clear”. With that, he walked off to a different part of the house. He had to start setting up a room for his new guest. And get them food and proper clothing-

A ruckus from the living quarters disturbed him. Oh god what was going on now? Without much thought, he ran to the noise. When he arrived, he frantically looked around. He was looking for anything, but more specifically a danger. But it was much the opposite.

There, at his front door, trying to get out like their life depended on it, was that stranger. Well, it wasn’t a stranger. He couldn’t keep forgetting that. It was ______. Though it was hard to do that; they looked so different. Panic seemed to just possess them; their eyes were wide and bloodshot and their face was even paler than he remembered them in their pale state. Which was an odd statement but it was oddly true. He hadn’t thought that you could get any paler, yet here you are proving him wrong.

You two were in a stare off- trying to figure out what to do. It would be somewhat hilarious if the situation wasn’t so serious; a person trying desperately to get out of someone’s house in some of the most comical positions while a seven foot piglin just awkwardly stared from the other side of the room. The semi-trance was broken by you. Tears started to fall down your face, body started to violently shake, and then you started to try and destroy the door with your body.

Techno was holding you in a heartbeat. Once again, you were dangling and struggling to get out of his grasp. Last time it wasn’t his grasp you were trying to escape, but it was all the same in the end. Your crying soon reverted back to sobbing and screams. Flinching, Techno contemplated just dropping you. Yet he couldn’t; you were trying to escape and that wasn’t a good idea.

Carrying you around the house was a challenge; you were swinging what little weight you could and it was working. He barely got to the other end of the room before he got fed up with your little tantrum. Without a second thought, he just dropped you like a bag of potatoes. The moment you hit the ground, you scrambled to get as far away as possible. That leads you to a corner. You kept an eye of him yet curled up so much. He couldn’t tell if it was because you were cold or scared.

“Please let me go back.”

That catches Techno off guard. It was obviously you voice; he wasn’t talking and you were the only other thing that could talk here. Yet it didn’t sound like you. Your voice was now so gravely, scratchy and heavy. Like you hadn’t properly talked in a while. Though your crying definitely wasn’t helping. Even taking that into consideration, you sound way worse than someone who is just crying and occasionally screaming.

“Excuse me,” he mumbles, staring at you. Waiting for you to answer or proof that he was actually imagining stuff. It could’ve easily been a voice though-

“I said please let me go back,” you sniffled, turning to look at him more. Your eyes held such sadness, besides the tears. The yearning in them hurt. It was obvious you were missing something.

“Go back where,” Techno prodded. He tried his best to make it gentle so you wouldn’t close up again. So he slowly sat on the ground with you, scooting towards you as a pace you could easily stop.

“Back to my friends, obviously,” you stated, keeping a steady and guarded eye on Techno. “I want to go back home. Back to Tommy and Tubbo and Ranboo an-and Purpled.” Suddenly you started to cry much harder. So hard it was practically impossible to speak. Only hiccups and gasps left your lips.

“Let me go, I won’t bother you again.” You kept repeating that phrase. Even rephrasing it, but it was muffled. Well not muffled, but extremely hard to hear through your crying. Techno let you keep saying that in hopes you tire of it, yet it seemed to have the opposite effect. You only started to say it more clearly, louder, and more assertively. It was obvious you were bound and determined to go back to wherever the hell you were before.

“Hey kid,” Techno does his best to stop your babbling. The pleads had just digressed to nonsense, so it was more accurate to call that mess babbling. “I can’t do that.”

His answer wasn’t well received. It only made you sadder and madder; you even deployed the puppy dog eyes. You really wanted this.

“It’s not safe with them,” he reiterated. “You look sickly too. Did you not care for yourself with them?”

Silence consumed you; maybe now you were finally thinking more clearly.

A meek “no” left your lips. Realization seemed to hit you, at least somewhat. It was a step forward, and Techno was taking it wholeheartedly. Anything was progress and he just wanted this over. Some of the voices whispered that they wanted you to get better, but he ignored them.

“Then it’s settled. You’re staying here.”

#tw: yandere #tw: stockholm syndrome #c: techno #techno x reader #technoblade x reader #dsmp!techno #mcyt x reader #mcyt shipping #dsmp shipping #dodo writing #tw: kidnapping #c: puffy #tw: panic attack #dsmp x reader

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cowsaresushi-coral · 2 years ago

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a quick question,

Does anyone in particular mind that I jump between different fandoms at seemingly random? Usually, I stick to the one for like a year or two, but as of late, specifically the last year, I haven’t been able to focus on the one, so I just flit between different fandoms based on what tickles my fancy.

I mean, regardless of what you say, I’m still probably going to keep flitting because that’s just how my brain is at the moment (odd, it’s never been like that before, but hey, i’ve been having a weird year), but I’m curious if people get particularly...bothered? Or don’t mind me just kinda bouncing around and vibin’. Anyways, thanks for stayin’ and I’m going to keep boundin’ around and doin’ my little thing.

Oh, how many things are you into right now? Well:

Shovel Knight (Mona, Plague Knight, Propeller Knight (all green oddly enough) - my particular favs, but I have many other favs bc they’re all very good), Kirby (MK - Hearts and Souls series), TPoH (RGB - and others, but he’s my fav), Pokemon (Submas - less so now, but I still have things I want to draw), The Tick (Chairface Chippendale + Stoolface - Rare, but when I think, I get GRIPPED WITH AN IRON FIST), NSR (DJSS + Neon J - IOTJBP)

And of course my webcomic - eats of most of my drawing time/thoughts. Eeehee I do like my comic. I think it’s getting better! Also I have other OCs I think about.

Yeah, so like uhh, there’s a few...I think I consumed too much material in a year, and a couple here are the lingering kind where it’s the one that SHOULD be taking up my attention for about a year or more (or already HAS and continues to linger), but because I have a couple going at once, they’re just fighting with each other. And there are things I WANT to get into, but I have this mess. Oh, and this is not including the old ones I used to like, and keeps on popping up once in a while. Yeah, my brain is F U L L.

#coral yaps #i know i shouldn't really think about it #but it does leave me a bit stressed out over it because oh what if i'm bothering people #but like if you're still following then i assume then ya that's your jam #also these things? all solid #and i have a proper tagging system so there's that #i dunno thoughts that keep me up at night #like this night...#my blog has gotten progressively messier in the previous year as well ahah

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mxtantrights · 4 years ago

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past lives | 3

a/n: Ok this is like the pre-climax? is that a thing? no well I'm gonna make it a thing right now! time to meet more of the family!! enjoyyy <3

Fallon nudged your shoulder to get your attention. Previously your focus was on the champagne flute, and before that the odd waiter who served it to you with an old scar straight through his mouth.

“I brought you here to snatch and grab stuff, where’s the team spirit?” they ask.

You make a face, “You brought me here because you didn't wanna go alone. And I can’t blame you if I had to come here alone I would-”

“Definitely throw myself off the balcony. Running start.” a voice adds.

It was neither yours or Fallons. So the two of you turn around and find the culprit. And just like destiny or fate or something, you see the guy you handed off a letter from your dead parent a few days prior.

“I mean isn’t it kind of your party?” you ask.

Tim shrugs a bit and sips the drink in his hand. It’s a non verbal answer that gives something away. Maybe it’s in the

“If you think that, then think about me. I’m the plus one.” you say.

He chuckles, “It’s nice to see you again.”

“Same”

“Again?” Fallon asks.

You nod your head, “I had to drop something off at the Wayne building not too long ago. To Mr.Drake actually.”

“Oh it’s just Tim.” he says and holds out his hand.

You quickly take it and shake as instructed. Then Fallon follows the action, along with an introduction. Tim smiles and it looks like a genuine one.

“Well when I said we were gonna smooze I didn’t know you pre-planned.” they say.

You nudge them as they snicker.

“I’d probably be the wrong Wayne to smooze. My hectic schedule allows for no free time.” he answers.

Fallon laughs at this. “Oh, well you’re kinda on the younger side too.”

You can see Tim’s check taint red. His eyes dart away from the both of you. You still couldn’t believe that a young man like him was in charge of Wayne enterprises- or enterprise, however that worked out.

It probably felt like the world was on his shoulders.

The phone in your cocktail bag buzzed. Even though you didn’t know who it was, you had a very high suspicion that it was the league. What they wanted you to do at tonight’s event was still under wraps. But you knew that whatever task it was, wasn’t going to lead to a happy ending.

It never does.

You open your bag and take out your phone, “I’ve gotta handle this. My Aunt.”

Both Fallon and Tim nod as you walk away from your table and out into the balcony. It was a bit chippy outside so it wasn’t really of use to anyone. The rich don’t like the cold you guessed. Makes sense, heated floors and sidewalks.

The cold air reaches your skin. You don’t shiver. Growing up in Gotham until you were eighteen you hadn't gotten used to it. It was no Antartica but then again that Icicle man did like to rein terror sometimes. It was like practice.

You open the text and sure enough,

tonight you act as transport.

when you get handed a package deliver it here:

45 Gotham Harbor

Great. You were acting as a convoy tonight. It shouldn’t bother you that much, but it does. If whatever they were planning was something real and dangerous and they were keeping you low on the food chain, that mean you were expendable to them.

It hurt.

It wasn’t like you ran away from them. They gave you an opportunity to leave after a couple of years being one of their fastest rising recruits.. At first it felt like a sick test. Like one final trust fall before they could actually believe your unwavering loyalty.

You sat with the decision for days. It was a whole week before you decided to get out of the league. You thought that as soon as you stepped food out of the place they would kill you. But you walked out the front door and kept walking.

Oddly enough they had even given you a ride to Gotham.

But you being a convoy tonight? This felt like a test. One you needed to pass. If not for your life, then to find out what they were really planning. The league never takes care of things so out in the open like this.

“Did you just get dumped or something?” another random voice.

You turn off your phone and turn your head to the left. In the dark corner of the balcony is a guy. You can only make him out because of his lit cigarette. If it weren’t for that, you probably wouldn’t have made him.

Have your senses and training begun to fade? Ra’s is probably somewhere vibrating off the walls.

Sure enough he comes out of the dark and you can see him fully. He’s not in the night standard uniform. Instead he's in a dress shirt underneath a brown jacket. He did try with the black slacks you see.

Was he security? No he looked a bit familiar.

You think you should probably say something before he thinks rudely of you.

“No, just an interesting text.”

He hums some sort of sound. And then he walks a bit closer. You notice its not close enough to reach out and touch him. He’s really careful. He must be some type of security.

“You were talking to Tim, you one of those Gala Groupies?” he asks.

The shock that falls upon your face can't be helped. It instantly turns into sourness at the implication that you were a groupie. First off, Galas are boring. Second you’d more likely be a groupie for a rockstar than a rich old man- let alone a younger guy like Tim.

You hiss and cross your arms against your chest, “That was bit presumptive wasn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean it as an insult. Presumptive to think that I did.” he bites back.

You nod you head along with a grin.

“Didn’t know the security detail came with snobbery. How do I know you’re not a groupie for Tim?” you ask.

He looks like he wants to hurl. Then he beings to laugh. His laughter fills the balcony a bit and you just watch in interest. He calms himself and then places his hand over the railing to rest.

“I would not, it’d be weird.”

“Not your type?”

“My brother will never be my type.”

Ah.

You look at him for a second more and then it clicks. This was Jason Todd, the black sheep of the Wayne family, you are talking to. You thought he looked familiar you just couldn’t place him earlier. Even though the white streak through his hair should’ve gave it away.

“My apologies.” you say.

He fakes wiping a tear from his eye. “no worries, you gave me a laugh tonight. I should be thanking you.”

“I am not gonna be your groupie either.”

“Presumptive, but okay.”

“Have a good night.”

Bruce finds Tim in-between mingling and cuts in.

“Oh thank God, I thought for another second my head would burst.” Tim says.

Bruce smiles, “Saved you then.”

“Have you seen Dick anywhere? I wanted to get his eyes on a case of mine.”

“No night work at the Gala. Take a break.”

Bruce begins to look for Dick within the crowd of people. His eye bounce from person to person. Effectively he’s glanced over you without a second thought. Or so he thinks.

When he does finally find Dick, he calls for him. This makes his son stop in his tracks. He comes to a stop and you were right behind him as he did. You aren’t quick enough to stop yourself and so you go colliding into his back.

“So sorry about that.” he says.

You shake your head, “It’s fine. No drinks spilled or whatever they say.”

He throws out a laugh so easily. You smile quickly and make a B-line for Fallon. As you make your way to where they have taken new residence, you see their face change. More specifically their eyebrows go up in the way that says ‘oh?’

“Cut it out, he bumped into me.”

“Maybe you guys can do some more bumping. Later on, if you-”

“I know exactly what you mean and I’m not entertaining you.”

Dick makes it over to his father and his brother. When he does Tim claps his back with his hand. It makes Dick wonder where the time went.

“Nice to see you brother.” Tim says.

“You too. Bruce.”

Bruce just nods. A man of not many words for those closest to him. He sure did know how to entertain guests though. It was all a mask anyways. If anything he was doing them a service not using it with them.

“I almost ran into someone. Thankfully there was no drinks involved, I would’ve ruined a whole outfit.” Dick says, pointing back to you.

Tim follows his finger over to where you and Fallon are standing.

“Oh, that’s who delivered me that letter the other day. Speaking of which, there was another one addressed to you Bruce.” he says.

Bruce nods his head once, “I know I saw it the other night when you passed out on your desk. At some point we’re gonna have a conversation about your sleeping habits.”

Jason walks up to the three men.

“You’ll never correct it. He’s more of a bat than you.” he says.

Bruce is doing double the work. He’s listening to the conversation happening in front of him about Tim’s horrible sleeping schedule or lack thereof. While he looks over at you. The person Tim said delivered the letter.

His child.

#dc #batman #Dick Grayson x reader #Tim Drake x reader #Jason Todd x reader #batman x reader #Bruce Wayne x reader #dc x reader #PAST LIVES #redhood x reader

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shirophantomvox · 4 years ago

Text

Analyzing Illumi Zoldyck's Character

Chrollo Analysis | Hisoka Analysis | Killua Analysis

What’s up y’all! Sorry for being away for the last few days. I needed a break from social media because I am so tired of seeing toxic, self-righteous people on my TL. Anyway, quite a lot of you liked my posts about analyzing HxH characters and somehow comparing them to VLD characters. Today, I’ll be talking about Illumi Zoldyck and I’ll try to compare him to a Voltron character. I know many people have already analyzed this character before, but it wouldn’t hurt to add to the discussion some years later. If you want me to write about anything else, send me an ask! The formatting of this post may be different than the one I wrote about Hisoka Morrow (click his name to view that post).

HERE WE GO!

In the first season, all of the characters are contestants for the Hunter’s Exam. I say contestants because this is a contest to see who can win without any injuries and can keep up with each host. I forget what number stage they were at, but I do know they were at the stage where each opponent has to fight each other. They are declared the winner if their opponent forfeits or gives up mid-match. (Off-topic, but) I am going, to be honest; Gon was my favorite character but his flaws began to show, annoyed me, and later led to his horrific downfall (based from YouTube clips). He didn’t know when to stop and kept pushing himself over the limit. Anyway, Killua and Gittarackur are set to fight. This is when things take a turn for the worse.

Gittarackur is a form of a disguise for Illumi to mask his identity. His face is long; nearly (and reminds me of) in the shape of a Tiki. His face also reminds me of the Witch Doctor mask from Scooby-Doo and Hell-raiser. He has several pins stuck in his face to maintain the facial features of Gittarackur. On the flip side, if he removes the pins, his biological form is revealed. Once he does this, Killua is nearly paralyzed; he cannot believe his eyes and I’m sure the trauma he endured at home hit him like a sack of rocks. Illumi then tells Killua that he wants him to return home, that he cannot maintain a friendship with Gon, stated that he was going to kill Gon, but realizes that if he does so he will be disqualified and will not obtain his Hunter’s license.

I’m assuming the cops aren’t a thing in this reality and the only way for them to “destroy” under the law is by obtaining the license. What do you think? I rarely see police officers; all I see are the Mafia and every they suck compared to the Zoldyck's and the Phantom Troupe. Shit, it seems like they’re the police but have twisted motives.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a fictional character or not, first impressions matter and he bombed this one...even for a villain.

But you did this for what?

How can you hypnotize (by using Nen) your own brother into killing another opponent because he doesn’t want to become an emotionless zombie like you? At least, that’s my perception. Telling your brother to run every time he faces an opponent that he knows he cannot win against is the sickest shit I’ve ever seen. I know I’m jumping around but another thought popped into my head. As the seasons go on, Illumi expresses an odd way of loving his younger brother and to him, that means to make him suffer in the same way he had to. It seems like Illumi is jealous of Gon in a way. (I’ve seen clips on YouTube) Killua takes Alluka to the hospital to heal Gon. Illumi has stated several times to Hisoka that Killua was hiding rules from him and that he still wanted to get rid of Alluka. Although it is clearly stated why he wanted Alluka gone, I still think that Illumi was jealous of Gon simply because his younger brother preferred to be with a friend instead of him. This is why he emphasizes “You cannot have friends. Either they will betray you or you’ll betray them.”

As I read and watched as the seasons went on, I noticed something about Illumi and his family. We all know that the children were raised by their parents. Specifically, their dad is a trained assassin. I can’t remember but I think Zeno is their grandfather who is also an assassin.

I view him as a character that has suffered from abuse and trauma in order to mold him into an assassin. He is emotionless, doesn’t really care for others, has an odd relationship with Killua that he doesn’t have for his other siblings, and is a hypocrite. Killua can’t be friends with Gon but every time the show cuts to him, he’s with Hisoka? Something is fishy there. Are they more than friends? OK, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Here's the physical analysis below.

Face

When masquerading as Gittarackur, his face has several pins in them and his hair is in a rock star form of Mohawk that is purple. I’ll give him 10/10 for uniqueness, yet it still reminded me of Hell Raiser.

I’ve noticed that when he is in public he is in costume. Why doesn’t he reveal himself in public? I’ve researched this and no one could answer this question. My guess is that he is a verified hunter and assassin. How can you carry out your missions if everyone knows what you look like? Without the pins in his face, it reverts back to his natural state. To me, his large eyes and long, shiny black hair are his distinguished features. Although he may be my least favorite character, he does have pretty eyes. Haven’t you all heard of “I got lost in his/her eyes”?

Yeah, that can be said about him. Most definitely. He rarely smiles and when he does, something BAD is going to happen. I saw him laugh crazily once Alluka began the healing process, the Nen (I guess) rose from the hospital and got on him. This scene reminds me of how Haggar reacted once the Komar’s quintessence bounced from Voltron and bounced onto her. Wow, these supernatural abilities make y’all feel that good?

Clothes

Gittarackur and Illumi wear the same clothes, which should be a clear giveaway that they are the same. Illumi wears a neural green short jacket that has yellow pins in them, a light green shirt underneath, and green pants. His shoes remind me of loafers with a heel on them, something my grandmother would wear.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say again, these bad-ass men in this show are very stylish and seem to be in shape more than I am. Although Illumi irks me, his fashion is great and this is why people prefer him to be their favorite character. Shows should always produce characters that are memorable; that is the key to a long-lasting fan base.

In conclusion, this anime (for the most part) has well-rounded characters that make the plot interesting and wanting more.

Illumi and Lotor are somewhat similar. They both grew up in abusive households and lost some sense of sensitivity, common sense, and were often “misguided” by their own selfishness. Illumi wants a better life for Killua by constantly brainwashing him into thinking that he cannot have friends and his can only find happiness through killing. Zarkon raises Lotor to be a prince that shouldn't work with planets and should destroy them. This explains why he used deceased Alteans from the colony, drained their quintessence, and didn't give them a proper burial. Lotor IS just like his father but Killua IS NOT like Illumi. Ironic, huh? As we all know by now, Lotor is the son of Honerva (Haggar) and Zarkon. After the rift accident, he became an emotionless, ruthless monster that colonized and destroyed planets just to gain their quintessence. He taught this to his son and once he was old enough to think for himself, he refused to act in such a way. Although he was exiled and said he wasn’t like Zarkon, he was; but worse. Lotor studied and gained knowledge about Altea and its people while using Allura to gain the secrets of Oriande. I say he used her because he knew from the moment he met her that he was harvesting Altean quintessence. While fighting the white lion, he yelled “Victory or Death” which is a common catchphrase the Galra use when they are in battle. In fact, the Galra have been victims of trauma from Zarkon. Zarkon’s ruthless ways of ruling had no other motive except for obtaining quintessence so he could live forever. Silva’s way of raising his children was done to mold them into assassins. Since he was taught this way he did the same thing to his children. Zarkon, Silva, and Zeno think that their ways of parenting are necessary for survive in life when it doesn’t have to be that way. Illumi and Lotor have experienced this horrific parenting and deal with it in different ways. Illumi is oddly obsessive of his younger brother and Lotor is a fucking liar.

This analysis was fun! Next, I’ll be analyzing Killua and Keith Kogane.

If you’d like to see more posts like this, send me an ASK!

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yuzukult · 4 years ago

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effortlessly, the epilogue (m) || jjk & reader

title: effortlessy, the epilogue pairing: jungkook x reader word count: 5.6k genre: the after high school :) + my infamous poorly written smut a/n: it’s shorter than intended but... it’s out guys! because someone asked me when I planned on posting this and I thought that I was the only one who cared about this epilogue. ;u; Thanks for mentioning it to me, because it motivated me to write it again. Enjoy! series masterlist can be found here

"I want to take care of the planet like Greta Thunberg!"

"Noooo, wouldn't you want to be something cooler? Like a soccer player? How about Lionel Messi?"

"Forget soccer! I want to do something even better... make computers like Steve Jobs!"

One of the children frowns, shoulders slouching in disappointment and frustration of his classmates. Leaning down, you brush away the bangs that cover his eyes, gently pinching his chubby cheeks full of love and care. "What's wrong, Jaemin?"

"I don't want to be like Greta Thunberg or Lion Messi or Steve Work!" He exclaims, arms thrown in the air.

"It's Lionel Messi and Steve Jobs, Jaemin!"

"Okay, okay," You say soothingly, hands cupping and thumbs rubbing against the flesh of his cheeks delicately. "That's fine, Jaemin, you don't have to be like those people if you don't want to. You can choose whatever profession you want, and whomever you want it to be like."

"I want to be a swimmer, like Jeon Jungkook!"

"Mm," You hum, tapping your finger against your chin as if you're pondering about Jaemin's idea. "You could, if you'd like. Have you ever met Jeon Jungkook before?"

"No," He pouts, his bottom lip jutting out in dismay. "But momma showed me videos of hyung online and he seems like a very kind person." Nodding, your hands fall into the ones of Jaemin's, swaying your arms together to calm his nerves. Children tend to be very emotional, you learn after the many years of experience with them, and Jaemin is no exception. Finding ways to tame their anxiousness was the true challenge. "Want to hear a secret?"

His eyes widen as large as the cartoons he watches on TV. "Yes! What's the secret?"

Pretending to glance out to confirm that the coast is clear and that the other children had walked away to find something more interesting to direct their attention to, you whisper into Jaemin's ear. "Jeon Jungkook was my best friend."

Jaemin gasps. "No way. Your friend? Are you just saying that to me so I can feel better?" Yes, is what you really wanted to tell him, but truth to be told, you weren't lying. Kids were incredibly smart for even noticing that adults would say things to water down the situation, but you weren't just saying anything. "Of course not. Jungkook and I go way back, way before he became a professional swimmer. I used to go to all his practices, hung out with him after them, and even attended classes with him... just like you're in one right now!"

"Do you think... Do you think you can ask Jungkook hyung to come visit us? Maybe? If you're still friends with him..." He drifts, the thought of not being able to see his hero weighing down on his shoulders again. "I'll see what I can do," Standing from where you've been crouching, you ruffle Jaemin's hair with a soft sigh escaping your lips. "Now go play with the other kids. Remember, you can be whoever you want, and everyone else can be whoever they want as well."

Right before the clock hits 3:00PM, you verify that all the little kids are geared up in their beanies, puffer jackets, shoes, and some with gloves, in preparation for their parents' arrival. When the doors open and the children line up, leaving one by one, their nose and cheeks tint pink at the harsh winds, shivering yet at the same time cheering in glee when they see their guardians pull up.

Watching the smiles on their faces reminds you of the time that you hated the winter; brisk air smacking your cheeks in pain, freezing your face in position, fingers stiff from being exposed to the outside, and constant shaking just to warm yourself up in a clownery large winter coat. Yet, this time around, you find yourself fond of the weather, the thought of being able to spend time with your loved ones approaching and activities that could only be done during this specific season.

"Ready to head out?" One of your co-workers asks, just as bundled up as you are, learning your lesson after leaving without a jacket that wasn't thick enough before a day ago. "Yeah, I am. Let me just get my purse first, Naeun."

It's a constant cycle everyday: swipe your transit pass onto the bus, get off, walk an obscene amount of distance, if it's a good day then you'd stop for coffee, get to school, and prep for the day before calling the students in to take attendance, then that's when the teaching starts.

But something about today feels great, despite the snow falling from the sky that nearly has you slipping on the ice from lack of attention to anything in front of you. So, you grab something hot. After all, what's better than a cup of hot chocolate in the morning right before you're stuck in a classroom full of twenty first-graders?

Following your medium sized peppermint hot chocolate (you're rather quite enamored that you're able to find a peppermint flavor because it's your favorite), hopping out of the coffee shop with glee, you're ready to be on route to work again.

Then someone obnoxiously honks their horn.

You show no regard to this, mostly because it makes no sense to. Someone who's driving a flashy neon yellow Porsche is already gaining all the unnecessary attention in the first place, and you're not really in the mood to be categorized within that population.

But the beeping doesn't stop.

Oddly enough, it actually feels like the car is following you. Sweating profusely, you're debating whether or not to glance to see who the driver is. Just then, your phone dings.

jeon jungkook [6:57AM]: i've been trying to get you to turn around for the past 10 minutes, could you please stop walking faster? at this rate you're going to be a runner?

Instantaneously, you stop in the midst of your steps, sharply twisting on your heel to see the owner of the flamboyant vehicle. There he was, with the driver's side window rolled down, exposing those pearly white teeth of his, paired with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

Typical.

"Jeon Jungkook, fancy meeting you here."

"Not really fancy if I had to check your location services to see where you've been. It's not fun being ignored, love." He has his arm rested on the opening, watching as you purse your lips and bounce on the tips of your toes. "Mm, wonder why that is."

"Don't be like that," He frowns, chin sitting on his arm. "Come, I'll drive you to work. Maybe we can talk along the way."

"I'm not really in the mood to talk to you at seven in the morning, Jeon."

"Please?" He begs, pools of brown that match the liquid in your cup and the sweetness it entails. Just his voice alone was warm, shooting into your chest and you're trying to convince yourself that it's the drink, not him. "Fine." You respond through your gritted teeth, rounding the hood of the car to enter the passenger seat.

Jungkook looks so happy he could burst.

On the ride to work, you don't talk. He speaks casually, sharing stories about his adventures, ones that you don't really want to hear about or was it that his current attire that's causing your mind to get fuzzy? Baby blue dress shirt with just a couple of the buttons let loose, tucked into those dark grey slacks that hug his thighs so well, that you needed to avert your eyes or else he'd see you checking him out.

He does in fact, to the point that he needs to hide the smirk that dangles on his lips, but he refrains himself because getting you to forgive him is a difficult task alone, and teasing you wouldn't get him anywhere.

"Pull up here," You demand when he's driving by the perimeter of the building. "You don't need to drive into the yard. I don't need the teachers thinking I'm hanging out with someone driving a construction safety yellow car."

Jungkook is admittingly disappointed, hoping that he gets more time with you but he did choose a work day to meet you. "Can I see you after this?" He's suddenly bashful after approaching you confidently earlier, no semblance of high school Jungkook hinted in his personality anymore. "I don't know. Maybe. We'll see." With that, you slip out the car, greeting the parents that you pass by, sharing that beaming smile that he was wishing was for him instead. You're prettiest when you're working—the way you're talking to your students as they begin to line up to enter class, tapping their noses with your drink in hand, drowning in your oversized coat. You seem at your happiest, suddenly regretting his recent absence from your life.

Reminiscing back to the time of when you didn't know what you wanted to do with your life, where you wanted to go, and who you wanted to be were questions that were constantly thrown up in the air. He recalls those nights where he'd hear your whimpers through the wall between the bedroom and the living room, sitting at the coffee table in frustration while he prepped for bed. Life had been a crazy journey for the both of you, especially when he had gotten invited to pursue in other work opportunities.

You're thankful when you leave work that day and don't spot the rubber duck colored car anywhere near the schoolyard, yet at the same time, slightly despondent that he didn't return. "You look down," Naeun points out, nose peeking from her scarf with her hands dug deep into the pockets of her jacket. "Expecting someone?"

"Kind of, not really," You confess, letting out a heavy sigh with water vapor in the air. "But not surprised anyways."

"Does it have anything to do with a cheddar cheese looking car?"

Choking on your saliva, you attempt to clear your throat at her recognition. "How'd... you know it had to do with a yellow car?"

She leans over, gesturing in the direction behind you with her chin. "Other than the fact that it's hard to miss a car that bright in the morning, you coming out of it is also attention grabbing. Plus, he's over there, parked in the corner with a swarm of little kids around him."

Flinching, you look in her direction, the sight of Jungkook seated on the hood of his ridiculous vehicle, uncomfortably bending over to reach the height of the flock of little children with their parents, signing autographs and exchanging words with them.

You can't tell if it's cute or making your blood boil.

When you walk over to him with Naeun by your side, he looks up with that annoying smile on his face again. "Jeon Jungkook."

"See, Jaemin? She does know me." Jungkook teases, messing up the little boy's hair. Jaemin has a look on his face that screams nothing but elation, spilling with happiness that couldn't be fulfilled until he met his idol, Jungkook, the Olympian swimmer. "You were right! He is your best friend!"

"I said was, but you get the point." Jungkook jerks up, quickly shuffling to dip his head in the window opening of his car, pulling out a drink, handing it to you. "Would someone who was your friend get you your favorite drink?"

In a medium Starbucks cup, there's an iced cold brew with cold foam sitting on top—a drink that you had grown attached and addicted to in your first year of University, ordering it so frequently on the daily that you had to wean yourself off it. "Cold brew," You clarify, taking the drink gleefully. "I guess you remembered."

Naeun extends her hand at Jungkook, requesting a shake. "Oh my god, Jeon Jungkook, I'm a big fan. I heard that you were recently sponsored by Nike—crazy! She—" She's referring to you with a glare "—never mentioned that she was friends with a professional swimmer!"

"Didn't think it was important," You add, swirling before taking a sip of the liquid gold. "Knowing someone who swam for your country's Olympic team isn't usually brought up in an everyday conversation."

She rolls her eyes as Jungkook gifts her a warm handshake, hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. He's dressed for comfort, this afternoon as opposed to this morning, and you're curious of his schedule yet you don't ask. "Kids, time to go home, don't leave your parents waiting." You dismiss the children who whine in reaction. "But we want to talk to Jungkook!"

"I'll be back tomorrow!" He confirms, and they run away in excitement, earning a groan from you. "Tomorrow? You're actually expecting to be back tomorrow?"

"Why? You don't want to see me?"

"Jungkook, why are you even back?" You exasperate, fingers running through your tangled locks. Jungkook is starting to frustrate you and all you want to do is go home and snuggle under the covers while watching a movie while possibly grading some papers. "What's the point of all this?"

He pouts, an arm snaking around your waist to pull your frame close. "I literally came to see my girlfriend and all she does is push me away. Isn't that crazy, Naeun? The girl of my dreams agreed to date me then she pretends that I don't even exist."

Jaw dropped, Naeun can't even formulate a sentence with the new information. "I know what you're going to say next, 'why didn't you—'"

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend this entire time? Why didn't you even mention that it was Jungkook! You just faked the entire time that you weren't with someone while I was tricking you into going on dates—"

"You set her up with guys?" Jungkook's brows furrowed at Naeun before looking down at you. "You let her set you up with guys?"

"I didn't go to any of those dates she organized," You mention, bringing the drink to your lips again, truly the only thing that calms your nerves despite the chaos unfolding in front of you. "I vaguely said I wasn't interested."

"You could've just said that you had a boyfriend!"

"Well, you weren't around to prove it, so did it really matter?" Shrugging your shoulders, you escape from his grasp to drag the zipper of your jacket up higher. "Anyways, I'm out. Get home safe, Naeun, let me know how it goes with that mechanic guy tonight." Tugging up your sleeve for a better view of your watch, you nod. "My bus is coming soon—"

"—I'm literally standing right here and you're still going to take the bus?"

"I'm going to take this as my cue to leave..." Naeun chimes in, quickly waving goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow then, Jungkook-ssi?" And he nods in return, watching as she walks away.

"I can't believe you would just waltz in here like you can do whatever you want." You hiss, nearly squeezing the cup in your hand but the cold brew inside is too valuable to let go to waste. "This is my workplace, not my house."

"I would go to your house if I knew where it was. You turned off your location yesterday."

"Maybe you shouldn't have outed yourself the first time, then you would've known." He moans, pushing his hair away from his face. The length has grown tremendously since the last time you saw him, reaching his chin with the ends curling into the shapes of his eyes when he's gleaming with a grin. "Why are you making things so difficult for the both of us?"

"I'm not." You respond nonchalantly, blinking blankly at the man before you.

Jungkook tugs on your arm. "Then let me take you home, to our home, really, since you decided that you wanted to move out without me here when the lease ended."

"I told you I didn't want to live where stalkers were standing outside my place."

"And I told you that you should call the bodyguard my company said they'd provide for you. Why didn't you call? Why didn't you tell me?"

Truthfully, you didn't want to go through the complications of the process of getting someone to consistently watch over you on a daily basis—it was easier to just up and leave, find somewhere else to reside instead of getting attacked by his fans. "It was too complex," allowing him to pull you in between his open legs as he rests on the hood of his car. "Plus, why would I want to ask help from a guy who wouldn't even come home for our anniversary? Easier to leave instead of being disappointed all the time."

The edges of his mouth drops. "Don't say it like that. I had to work, or else I would've taken the first flight back home. All the opportunities just so happen to be in the States."

"Go live there then, you don't need to come back. It's convenient for you to find a place there anyway."

"I'm not leaving you, idiot." He counters back, irritated that you're even making such suggestions. "I told you this every single time we meet again, every phone-call, every facetime. I won't move unless it's with you." The look in his eyes is hypnotizing mixed along with his words, swaying you into his direction unless you shake your head from the thoughts, stepping back. "Fine. Drive me home, whatever. Your stuff is still there anyways. I guess you still somewhat live with me."

Jungkook takes this as a victory.

In all honesty, he loves the idea of a domestic relationship. Jungkook loves having to wake up in the morning with you sleeping on the other side of the bed, corners of your eyes filled with dry boogers that'll probably hurt when you decide to get up, and brushing your teeth together, side by side, shoving each other just to be able to spit in the tiny little sink in the apartment. He argues that he could help pay for a better place, but you reject him regardless, wanting to stay in a more affordable place, one where you can go halfsies on.

He misses watching you hover over the stove, obnoxiously monitoring whatever it is you're cooking for dinner, only for him to call you out and take over instead. Or when you're doing work on the floor with your papers and laptop sprawled across the coffee table, leaning back when your shoulders get tired, resting in between his legs with your back against the body of the couch.

So on the route of driving you home, that’s all he can think about as you sit in silence.

This was definitely not the plan.

Parked in the garage of your apartment complex, the fluorescent lights don’t do a good job of piercing through the tinted windows of Jungkook’s car, which you’re super thankful for despite the obnoxious primary color he chooses. The steam fills the glass, hand pressed against the armrest on the door as you’re panting heavily, an uneven match with Jungkook’s. He has a grip on both your ass and hips, guiding as you’re grinding yourself on him, wishing to be closer than you already were.

How he has you out of your jeans is unknown. Your jackets have already been throat into the some-what backseat, your dress shirt unbuttoned with your breasts spilling from your nude bra, and his shirt is hiked up just enough to catch a glimpse of his abs. Swimming requires him to keep his body in shape and there’s no complaint from you on that.

Mouth opened, he let out a groan, feeling your tightness around his cock that made a drop of sweat fall from his forehead. “Fuck,” He curses, the sight of you in front of him clenches his heart. Jungkook thinks you’re so pretty under this light— even prettier than when he knew you in high school, it’s like the longer he knows you, the more infatuated he is. When you gyrate your hips aggressively, he suddenly can’t take it anymore, hands trailing up your spine, pushing you down against his chest before he digs his feet into the carpeted floors, hips piston up into you.

The new angle has your stomach in knots, a soft gasp falling from your lips that only encourages him to go harder. “Can you come like this?”

“Touch me,” You respond, and it comes out nearly as a whine but you’re too busy being fogged up by pleasure to even care. “Jeon, please,” Begging at this point, he slips himself between the two of you, thumb rubbing against the bud as your grip on his shoulders clasp firms, lips against the flesh of his neck.

“You’re going to come now, aren’t you?”

The way he says it hints an arrogant smirk, one you’re bothered with but you’re in the middle of something currently. It’s rhetorical, to him, because your pussy is convulsing around his dick that he’s almost reaching his limit yet he waits for you patiently. “I’m gonna—”

“Let go, baby,” He manages to say through a heave, your eyes tightly shut closed before you reach your orgasm; a melodic moan finally releasing into his ears that he’s been expecting all night, one that you’ve been holding back to showcase that you’re still mad at him. Jungkook couldn’t care— well, just right now, since he has his dick in you, thrusting away until he hits his own orgasm, ropes of cum coating your swollen pink walls.

You’ve grown limp against his body, nose snuggled into the crook of his neck, breathing heavy but slowed from previously. He misses having you like this, bare and close to him, skin feeling light from post-sex. “I love you,” He hums, pressing a gentle kiss on your shoulder. “Let’s get you cleaned up?”

Nodding, you barely have the strength to push yourself off his body, but he doesn’t let go of the grip he has around your mid-frame anyways, sliding the back of the seat up to straighten yourselves. Leaning over to the glove compartment, he snatches a couple tissues before slipping his limp dick out of you, wiping away your mixed come.

When he eventually has the both of you dressed, you lead him into the building, in the elevator and up to the floor of your apartment, cheeks still tinted rosy from the act in the car. Jungkook doesn’t mind it though, he thinks it’s cute that you’re embarrassed.

If this is what it’s going to be like forever— the warmth that you give, despite the words that come from your mouth, the affection and care that you distribute just for him, and the newfound confidence you’ve discovered during college that you’re not afraid of showing him... he wants it. Forever.

“Mm, so you’re telling me that you still fucked him even though you said that you were mad at him?”

Yura is adorable with her little baker’s hat on, working endlessly in the kitchen of her new bakery that she decided to open in Seoul after graduating culinary school. Luckily for you, it’s close enough to your apartment that you found yourself stopping by to visit frequently, stealing the goods that don’t make it out to the display fridge.

“... Possibly. I don’t know. I couldn’t help it— I didn’t get dicked down in forever. And no, don’t talk about using the dildo you gave me last year, I haven’t even touched the thing.”

“What? Nothing in comparison to Jungkook’s meaty, girthy—“

“Oh my god, please don’t continue that sentence,” You wince, palm against your forehead. “It was good, alright? I mean, sure, I finished myself off when I’m alone but yesterday, in the car—”

“You hoe— you didn’t only give your vagina to him, but you gave it to him in the car? You couldn’t even wait, could you? And what now, is he living back at the apartment?”

“I mean... he said he didn’t get a hotel because he wanted to sleep in his own bed again...”

Yura laughs, clapping her hands in amusement as the powder hits her face. “You’re so funny, you know that? Why do you keep playing this charade when you could just... let him back in?”

You sigh, plopping your body down onto the stool by the counters, elbows against the floured tops. Truthfully, caving into all the mistakes Jungkook made was something too common from you, wishing that he wasn’t good with his words and affectionate whenever he’s around you. He missed an anniversary, a 6th year anniversary, and from what you read on the forums online, it’s one of those years where relationships start to get bumpy.

“I just— I don’t want to be easy, you know? I let him get away with everything, and it’s not fair that he’s all the way in the States, doing whatever it is he’s doing, while I’m here, watching twenty to thirty little kids everyday. And I can’t tell him to stop what he’s doing because well— it’s his dream, Yura, who am I to stop him?”

“You don’t,” She responds sharply, glaring at you through her floured lashes. “You should’ve gotten on a plane to the States. It’s your anniversary, as in both you and Jungkook. It’s not his designated job to come here when it’s an anniversary to celebrate the both of you.”

There she goes again, even 6 years later after high school, Yura exhibits the realities of a situation, especially the ones that you’re in.

“I guess...” You say faintly, slowly reaching your surrender.

“No guessing. Please leave and go look for him. Tell him that you’re sorry, that you’re not going to be a big baby anymore. You’ve been with him for six years, and no matter how mad you get at him, he’s always coming back for more and attempting to make it up to you. Also, it’s 6:30AM... shouldn’t you already be on your way to work?”

“Oh, right, fuck, okay, thanks, Yura!” Jolting out of the bakery, you’re practically running to the school when you halt in your route at the sight of the familiar neon yellow car that’s parked on the school yard, yet again.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, and I’m on South Korea’s Men’s Swim Team. I’m training for 800M Freestyle Swim again, and possibly, maybe, planning to retire soon.”

Retire? The word that slips from Jungkook’s mouth is unfamiliar, mostly because he had never discussed this with you before, causing you to furrow your brows in perplexity at him as he stands in front of the black chalkboard in your classroom full of children.

“I actually lived next door to your lovely teacher here, and we grew up together. She even coached me early in my years since I didn’t have anyone with credentials to show me. We both used to stare at the computer, day and night, renting videos from the library, and spending most of our time together just so that we could improve on my skills...” As Jungkook babbles on to the students, Naeun nudges you in the stomach.

“What?” You hiss in a whisper. Softly, she responds, “You never told me any of this! I thought we were friends! You’ve been hiding from me that you’re dating an Olympian and that you guys knew each other since you were little? What else haven’t you told me?”

“Mm,” You hum, arms crossed over your chest. “I got recruited to shadow coaches back in the university Jungkook and I attended. I rejected their offer and went undecided before coming to terms that I’d teach.”

Naeun is taken aback by all this information, stumbling back to the edge of your desk to regain her balance. “You were recruited to coach? And you rejected that offer? Why the hell would you do that?”

“Because swimming is Jungkook’s dream, not mine.”

During college, evidently enough, you had been struggling endlessly trying to figure out what you wanted to do with yourself. There were moments where you considered taking a gap year— a break from it all, go somewhere maybe to finally understand yourself and what you want to do. Jungkook’s eyes when you mentioned it to him grew wary, sad that he couldn’t be there to help you but just stare at your helpless expression through the screen of his phone.

One thing you knew for sure, you didn’t want Jungkook to pity you. (Although, he never did. He was just too in love and couldn’t see the girl of his dreams sad.)

So you pushed harder. Met with people, asked about their experiences, requested for a mentor, and just researched. It was exactly like the time Jungkook told you he wanted to swim, so you obsessively tried to find any information on it so that you could teach him and show him things he could do in the water.

You learned that if you wanted something bad enough, you grew a drive for it.

It might’ve been when Jungkook realized that you were great at coaching. When he tried to sway you into coaching people because you were great and motivating people to do better, to try harder, and all of this without overworking them to the point of turning into dust. Despite everything, you didn’t want to coach swimming— and soon learning, you didn’t want to coach any sport. But the closest thing to it was teaching.

And a teacher was what you became.

There was already enough experience in teaching someone, or in this case, tutoring, because Jungkook sucked at it back in grade school. He always needed help, and that’s where you swooped in. Arms filled with notebooks, backpack dragging you full with textbooks while you stood at Jungkook’s front porch, ready to confuse him with letters and numbers that he learned he didn’t even need now.

“Did you know he was thinking about retirement?” Naeun sneaks in again. You shake your head, watching your boyfriend answer questions from the crowd. “No, I didn’t. He’s never even mentioned that word to me, ever.”

Just as Jungkook finishes, you holler out for the class to settle down, pushing him aside as he bumps back into the wall with a grin on his face. “Ok, class, since it’s 5 minutes before recess, I’m just going to let you guys go off. It is a Friday, so enjoy yourselves!”

Jungkook joins in when you’re zipping up the jackets and tying the shoes of the kids; they’re all too excited for an extra five minutes of recess time, saying something along the lines of, “we should ask hyung to come more often, he makes her happy enough to give us five extra minutes!” and Jungkook stifles a laugh.

Standing against the brick masonry of the building, Jungkook accompanies you. “You’re going to ask me about the whole retirement thing, aren’t you?”

“Was. But you didn’t seem like you cared enough to bring it up to me.”

He sighs, adjusting the beanie on his head. “I didn’t decide until yesterday. I’m going to be in the next Olympics then I’m retiring. I’ve made enough money from the sponsorships and I’m sure I’ll be able to keep my affiliation with Nike ‘til past that.”

Glancing over at him before looking back at the children playing in the yard, you snuggle your nose deeper into your scarf. “Why’s that? Isn’t swimming your dream?”

“It is,” He says, voice genuine and filled with honesty. “I might do some things here and there, maybe train some kid with potential. I just... I don’t know how much longer I can do this thing between us. I’m never going to give up on swimming, and there’s so many opportunities out there for me to do that includes it. But this whole... training for the Olympics thing— I’ve done it already. It’s great, I’ll do another year of it. But by the time the second time I enter, we’ll be hitting that age where it’s time to settle down.”

“We don’t need to have a set time to settle down—“

“I know that we don’t but I’m tired of this whole long distance thing. You’ve been so supportive of my dreams, and I’ve accomplished them already. It’s time that I’m here, by your side, supporting yours.”

There’s silence between the two of you, despite the constant screaming and laughing that’s coming from the playground.

“I’m sorry,” You blurt and he only looks at you with bewilderment on his face. “I should’ve came to visit you on our anniversary instead of expecting you to come here. It was selfish of me.”

Jungkook laughs, beaming brightly with the sweetest smile upon his lips. “You used to be so timid and shy back in high school. You’ve developed into this woman who’s confident and fierce, sometimes scaring me because I never thought you could ever be like this.”

“Does it make you like me any less?”

“No,” He turns to you, tightening the scarf around your neck in prevention of slipping. “But... it makes me love you more. You’re also admitting things and apologizing. Very huge character development if you asked me. Say, how about we go home tonight and celebrate our anniversary, to make up for the one we miscommunicated about?”

“I’d... like that, very much.” You respond, chewing on your bottom lip bashfully.

“Now,” He begins, pinching your frozen cheeks gently. “I told you I love you about... a million times since I came back. I’m still waiting for you to say it too.”

He’s still somewhat the same Jungkook from back then, hidden underneath the blanket of adulthood and experiences through college but nonetheless, just as much as he changed, you’ve loved him through every stage he’s gone through. He felt the same. “Love you too, Jeon.” And there it was, the smile that tugs on the edges of your lips that he’s been waiting for, dedicated just for him.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts #bts smut #gyukultfics #:)

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