#this is between the end and start of Tresspasser because i do not believe for a second they did not visit eachother and annoyed Josie abt i

[alsoika]

"Letters are a poor substitute for your company, Amatus."

[shizucheese]

So fun fact I normally try to avoid Tumblr between Thursday and when I finally get to listen to the new Protocol episode because that seems easier than constantly blocking and unblocking the spoilers tags, but also this is my preferred social media site so it generally results in a vicious cycle of me hopping in Tumblr, and either VERY CAUTIOUSLY scrolling (or scrolling only through specific tags), or completely forgetting until I see even a HINT of something Protocol related (even if it's not spoilers) and figuratively running away screaming.

As always, you can find the full evolving red string board here. It's getting real long. I'm trying to decide if I want to start a fresh one for season 2 or if I want to see how long and unwieldy that puppy can really get. What do you guys think?

Today is Monday, 3/4/24. Episode 8 came out on 2/29/21.

“Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Episode 3: "Infection (full body" -/- Arboreal [Journal entry]". The Spiral? (Paranoia? Auditory, visual and olfactory hallucinations) The Lonely? The Corruption. The Flesh? (Callbacks to the Flesh Garden from S5)

Episode 8: "Architecture (liminal) -/- hunger [coursework]". The Spiral. The Lonely. (Statement giver has an ex-wife. Witnesses strange mist. Fog?) The Stranger? The Vast. The Flesh. The description of the space reminds me a bit of Mag 150: Cul-De-Sac. The description of the diners and the way they were speaking reminds me of Mag 48: Lost in the Crowd.

Common Themes: Hearing the voice of a dead/ missing loved one? Loneliness

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Episode 5: "Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [Internet blog]". The Eye (Movies. Movie name: "Voyeur" "Must be seen to be believed"...). The Web? (Another website?). (Very reminiscent of Mag 110: Creature Feature.) The "poor old guy" at the theater is totally an Eye avatar, right? Kinda gives me "Simon Fairchild when he was first introduced" vibes.

Episode 7: "Agglomeration (miscellany) -/- congregation [email]". The Stranger. The Burried. The Desolation. Possibly all of them if my theory about the items the Volunteers brought in is correct...

Unsure if this is Eye related like the other statements were. This is also the first "Chester" statement where the source material wasn't from a website or blog, which don't have the same expectation of privacy that the sources of the other statements do. Email, though, so still internet related, and this seems to be an open letter rather than personal correspondence, so it still might align with the theme.

Agustus: (rare?)

Episode 4: “Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]” The End. The Lonely? The Slaughter.

Letter writer thinks passing on his violin might allow a part of himself to live on in his nephew. Very Jonah Magnus of him.

Music teacher hears “faraway music”, then goes crazy and throws himself out of the carriage and dies. Reminiscent of Mag7 and the Piper? The merchant’s wares include dice (Mag 29?). Got the violin from him (took his blood?). Effect of the violin reminiscent to Grifter’s Bone (Mag 42).

(Oliver Bardwell lol very funny guys)

Non-Talkers (?)

Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?)

Episode 6: "Injury (needles) -/- intimidation [999 call] "Corruption? The Spiral? The Flesh? The End?

"Needles" reminds me of Michael!Distortion.

Notes and Thoughts:

I think we've all been a bit off about the theme of the Norris statements. The common theme isn't I lost a loved one; I can almost hear their voice..." The common theme is loneliness. Like yeah, the statement giver mentions being divorced, but it doesn't seem to be a central driving factor for him the way it was with the other two Norris statements. I think it's just that those two were lonely because they lost a loved one and had isolated themselves in one way or another because of it, and this guy was lonely because he got trapped in a liminal space.

Alice sounds really tired. What's up with that? (Also, considering how much she continues to seem to enjoy messing with people, I'm still convinced she has some connection to the Web.)

GERRY?!!! (not a coincidence. The credits call him Gerry Keay. Also same VA, but I totally didn't recognize him at first because he sounds happy???) GG??? (Credits say Sue Sims as Gertrude Robinson!!!) "Grandson" you say? For realsies? Or did you adopt him (again kinda)? Or is it a cover like it was the last time. Gertrude's word choice of "good luck hunting" was weird, huh...? Is this actually something big or are they just cameos because Alex and Jonny like to mess with us. I trust nothing. Why did the Magnus Institute have a "gifted kids" program? And is Sam just saying that as a cover story or is it true and that's why he's been so interested the whole time? (Reminds me a bit of certain elements of the Storage Papers...)

Celia is doing "a favor for Georgie"?!!!

Is this OUR Georgie or the TMP world Georgie? How much of a connection is there between TMA Gerry, Gertrude and Georgie and TMP Gerry, Gertrude and Georgie?

I wonder if the episode coming out on 2/29, a date that only exists every 4 years, and the episode being about liminal spaces was on purpose or just a happy coincidence.

[sapiowoman28]

I can, I can't : Part 1 of 3

Pairing: Jaemin x female reader

Gener: best friends to lovers au, smut, fluff

Warning: mentions of sex, masturbation (Female)

Summary: Jaemin and Y/N are part of a group of best friends. One day, things change.....

They called themselves the dropouts. Brought up in good Catholic families, active within the Church community as kids, Catholic school education... the works. They then grew up and stopped going.

It wasn't some group thing were everyone agreed to stop going altogether at the same time. It was more like, one by one, they stopped going.

Jeno was the first to stop, at 15, after his parents got divorced. He became angry and withdrawn. By 16 he was mixing with the wrong crowd - think underaged drinking, partying, It was only after a close brush with the law that he - literally and figuratively - sobered up and decided to focus on healthier pursuits like education and sports. Thankfully too, the old Jeno that everyone knew and love came back.

Then were was Renjun. Renjun was always the one who wasn't really into religion anyway. He was more apt to believing in aliens and ghosts. His mother kept him going for as long as she could. By 18 he was out.

Haechan, as he got older, became a sporadic goer. After moving out on his own to live with the guys and Y/N in an apartment closer to campus, he stopped too.

Y/N? The older she grew, the more she learnt about the importance of gender equality. The more she embraced feminism, the more she found some church teachings hard to swallow.

All was left, of course, was Jaemin. Now Jaemin, he was still a "good boy", faithfully going to Church every Sunday. It wasn't that he was extremely religious. It was more that he had gone to Church every single week all his life. To not go one week felt odd and different.

The good thing was, nobody made fun of him or tried to stop him from going. Jeno even woke him up on Sunday mornings before he went for his 10km runs just so Jaemin would get to mass on time. (Mass is what Catholics call a church service.)

Y/N enjoyed hanging out with her friends. She was like one of the boys. It had always been like that since they were young. Everyone who knew Y/N knew she was not to be messed with. Not only was she capable of kicking anyone's balls, she also had four bros who would come after their ass too. In fact, guys who were interested in dating her would often try to get in good standing with the four guys so life would be easier for them. So it was hardly surprising that Y/N had never had her heart broken.

The problem was, Y/N was the one breaking hearts. Commitment wasn't her strongest suit, and more often than not she'd break off with whoever she was seeing with very trivial reasons, First she was dating Xiaojun. Then 7 months later she broke it off with him because apparently he "sucked at making out". The truth was, Xiaojun was good enough in bed but Y/N wanted to date the more exciting Yang Yang after meeting him at a frat party her gal friends dragged her to and making out with him. So Yang Yang it was. For a while she was happy. But then 10 months passed and Yang Yang was history. Now it seemed, was some guy called Lucas.

"Now, before you guys misunderstand, Lucas is not my boyfriend." Y/N declared over a pizza with Jaemin one Saturday night. "He's just... a friend..."

Jaemin raised his eyebrow. "You mean a friend with benefits? Cos based on what we have to hear every single Friday night, none of us think you guys are friends. Speaking of which.... Jeno wants me to talk to you."

"Let me guess, you lost rock paper scissors. Again. And that's why you're the one speaking to me."

"Well, we have house rules to follow..." Jaemin started, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"Jeno and his stupid house rules." Y/N sighed. "What now? I can't bring Lucas home?"

"It's getting kind of weird for all of us...."

"You guys bring girls home all the time!" Y/N protested.

"I don't." Jaemin said. It was true.

"Jeno does. Haechan does. Even Renjun! Remember that weird Yoga chick he was seeing?"

"But they're not loud. Lucas sounds like he has a loudhailer in his throat and it's weird hearing him......we end up having to use headphones."

"I've tried asking him to tone it down. But he gets too excited when I blow him..." Y/N grinned as Jaemin covered his ears with his hands, not wanting to hear the details.

"Look, Jeno says he appreciates that YOU have gotten less loud since that time you were dating Yang Yang. But Lucas he's just.... too expressive. Can't you do it at his house or something? It's not the moaning as much as the dirty talk, you know?" Jaemin's voice was getting tinier and tinier.

"If Jeno has a problem, why can't he tell me himself?" I know it's not Haechan or Renjun who are complaining. Haechan's always gaming with his stupid headphones on and Renjun's always listening to music on his noise cancelling ones."

Jaemin sighed. "Don't put me in a tough spot, Y/N..."

He looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. I'll speak to Lucas. But I'm only doing it cos of you, cos you good Catholic boy and virgin and all."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "For the last time, Y/N, I'm not a virgin!"

Lucas took the news surprisingly well and he was happy to have her hang at his apartment instead. Which turned out to be a better thing, since his apartment was bigger and his housemates were never around. Y/N wondered why she insisted on making out at her apartment to begin with.

"I'm surprised Jeno was the one with the problem.." Lucas said after they had made out and she was snuggling in his arms.

"He has all these rules. The worst part is he makes Jaemin speak to me instead of telling me directly."

"It makes sense. You and Jaemin are close."

"I'm close to all four of them."

"No no no." Lucas said, "Each of them has a different thing with you."

"Explain, Mr Wong." she said, looking up at him.

"I think Jeno knows both of you have strong characters so he has Jaemin speak to you instead when there's an issue so you guys won't argue. He prefers to keep things light, so the most you're gonna get is Jeno making fun of you for having a thing for foriegn men."

"What about Haechan?"

"Haechan's your gaming bestie. You talk about gaming, and game together. But he'd kick the ass of anyone who gives you trouble."

"I think I'm least close to Renjun."

"I don't think it's that. It's more Renjun is kind of in his own world. He's like that with everyone. But he feels close to you guys."

Y/N was impressed.

"What about Jaemin?"

"Jaemin's like your total opposite. But you guys get each other. I like him. He's a good guy."

"Yeah he's a virgin." Y/N joked.

"He's a good looking guy! Heck, if I was a chick I'd go after him man!" Lucas said, his eyes expressive as always.

"Well, he's a good guy. I've never seen him bring a girl home."

"Come on man, when it comes to hormones, even good guys turn bad."

Lucas was driving her home when she got a call from Jaemin.

"Wassup?"

"Are you alone?" Jaemin asked. He sounded strange. "I need help."

"Are you ok?" Y/N asked. "I'm with Lucas. Where are you?"

"Oh. I'll call someone else..."

"Don't be an idiot, Jaemin. Where are you?"

"Hospital." he said. "Can you come? Just don't tell anyone anything. Not even Lucas."

She found him in a bad state at the hospital. Sitting in a daze, blood stains on his crumpled shirt. Y/N had never seen Jaemin look so small.

"Hey" she half whispered. He looked up.

"I can go now. I got an x-ray done. My nose is not broken. And it's finally stopped bleeding." he said. "I already collected my medicines. Mostly painkillers."

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." he said.

"Let's get home and get you out of these bloody clothes. And then you can tell me after you've had a good night's sleep."

"Can i sleep in your room tonight?" he asked. It was an unsual request. "I'm feeling quite shaken."

"Yeah. Sure. Let's do that."

It was 2am and he still couldn't sleep. She could feel him toss and turn next to her.

"Jae."

"Sorry."

"No, I can't sleep either."

He sat up.

"I need to get my ID card back. Can you follow me tomorrow?"

"Your ID card?"

"I was fooling around with a first year chick in her house. Her parents came back and caught us. Her dad took my ID away, said he was going to lodge a police report against me for tresspassing his house and taking advantage of his daughter. Well, that's after he beat me up."

Y/N sat up. This was interesting, she thought.

"She's 18?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"18 is legal you dumbass." she slapped her forehead.

"I thought it was 21.."

Y/N groaned. "I can't believe you're so stupid."

"But the trespassing thing?"

"They don't have a case Jae. I'm sure you can prove you were invited there. Even if she lies and said she didn't invite you. They can't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt."

"I'm so glad you're studying law."

"And Jaemin?"

"What?"

"It's illegal for him to detain your ID. YOU can report him."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

"Can you go sleep now that you know you're not actually in trouble?"

"Yes. Thanks Y/N." he said, turning to face the opposite side.

But Y/N couldn't sleep. Her mind was running a million miles a minute. Jaemin made out with someone. What was he like when making out? Was he gentle? Was he sweet like he always was to everyone? Was he a dom or sub? What did he do with the girl? Did he have fun?

Her own thoughts made her sick. Feeling a stir in her stomach made her sick. This was her best friend she was thinking of. She had to stop. Maybe she needed a shower.

Taking a towel with her to the bathroom, she shut the door, stripping quickly and getting under the hot jets of water. Damn it, Y/N, she scolded herself. Not Na Jaemin. What happened to your thing for Chinese guys?

She soaped herself trying to escape the mental picture of Jaemin, between the girl's thighs, lapping on her clit mercilessly, his eyes twinkling like they would whenever Jeno or Haechan said something witty. Suddenly, she was thinking of him between her legs, lapping at her core.

She brought her fingers to her clit, rubbing them from side to side. She leaned against the bathroom wall, moving more aggressively. She was wet. Biting her lip she pushed two fingers into her pussy, thrusting them in and out, the sound of the shower masking the wet noises as her fingers moved.

The muscles in her stomach were tightening. She could no longer hold back, thinking of Jaemin thrusting into her, looking at her with an intense gaze. She wanted him bad.

Slowly she came undone, as she moaned into her hands while cumming.

Suddenly, someone was knocking aggressively on the bathroom door. Y/N froze.

"I need to pee!" Haechan shrieked. "Hurry! I need to go back to my game!"

"Give me 2 minutes I'll be done." Y/N said, drying herself with her towel and getting dressed, mind still dazed from thinking about Jaemin. She knew their friendship was never going to be the same ever again.

She was just wondering how easy or hard it was going to be, to get Jaemin to join her on the other side.

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

I'd love to see your take on Cullen's recovery arc as an alternative analysis! I feel like we're only ever presented with the two options of: "he needs to atone!" Or "he was a victim that needs protection!", neither of which I've ever fully agreed with. I think it's a result of the lack of attention given to his arc in DAI, which leaves a ton of room for interpretation, and results in people swaying towards either camp depending on how sympathetic they are towards him and his history.

I totally agree with this. 

The problem with the way Cullen is presented in DAI is that he’s presented in an unambiguously positive light, and as @tokutenshi pointed out in this post (which I do agree with) if your Hawke was hostile to him you don’t get some of his dialogue about questioning Meredith. Additionally if you side with the mages rather than the templars Cullen has some realizations about the Order that you’re not going to hear. It’s too little too late for a lot of people, though I would also argue with what tokutenshi said, he was severely traumatized after the Blight (if you take a female mage Warden in the tower during the Witch Hunt DLC you will get lines that indicate he is suffering from PTSD, notice the lines about him being “twitchy” and “jumpy”) Personally I think we can find a middle ground between Cullen being a victim of manipulation and indoctrination, someone who suffered after experiencing trauma, and someone who works hard in the moment to do some good, whether we can or should call it “atonement” or not. That being said, he does acknowledge in Inquisition that the war against Corypheus is his chance to atone, and he works overtime to the point where it’s commented upon by several characters including the Inquisitor how hard he works.  

By the time we meet Cullen in Inquisition a couple of years have passed since the chantry’s explosion. This is where I will be critical of the writing because I do think the game should have better established what exactly Cullen was doing in the time in between, though we get bits and clues from dialogue if you pay attention: He served as Kirkwall’s knight Commander after Meredith died, and he and presumably Aveline’s guard worked to basically repair the city, as Rylen says in Griffon Wing Keep that there was a lot of rubble, a lot of people without homes. Cassandra noticed Cullen’s work and recruited him to the Inquisition. (Also, keep in mind that the Inquisition was originally going to help quell the worst excess of the mage and templar fighting, restore order because the chantry lost control. Then the conclave happened, it went boom, and suddenly the Inquisition’s purpose became far greater than anyone would have expected. So Cullen as Cassandra’s choice of Commander makes total sense to me, considering he was a former templar and bringing him in basically acted as a symbol to any wayward templar, letting them know that there could be another way. But I digress on that part, haha.) 

I *think* some people are dissatisfied with Cullen’s “redemption” arc in DAI because we don’t really see him fall on the sword or beat himself up for his past. There’s also no moment where he like, faces a mage he maybe knew in Kirkwall or has to deal with the mages not trusting him. Obviously of course there is nuance there as well as Toku and I mentioned--he wasn’t allowed to heal as much as he should have before being shipped to Meredith. However, here’s an interesting bit of dialogue you can get if you pick the right options after Perseverance if you tell him he doesn’t need lyrium:

Quiz: The man you were. You can’t pretend like he never existed.

Cullen: Not even if I wanted to. But I’m here now. I can make that mean something.

Cullen knows he screwed up. What’s more, he doesn’t want to forget he screwed up. But he lives in the moment to make things right. Blackwall’s arc actually shows him falling on the sword and wanting to atone, versus with Cullen it’s implied he has come to terms with his screw ups off screen. He doesn’t continuously beat himself up, he does what he can for the Inquisition to the point where if the Quiz tells him to go back on lyrium for the better of his soldiers, he does, knowing it just may kill him. There is also limited dialogue that challenges his views which turns some people off, but I know for my Inquisitor she’s very much about the now and what they both can do in the now. I won’t blame anyone who wants to be able to challenge him more, but frankly I find the fact he doesn’t continuously fall on the sword or beat himself up interesting. 

All that being said, I do think of his arc as more of one of recovery versus redemption. And to be frank I’m kind of critical of the term “redemption” and what makes good redemption arcs or not. Someone having a “redemption arc” seems to imply that there’s only one road to the top of the mountain when maybe redemption is something you should always strive for? But as for the “recovery” arc: the chantry, IMO, purposely devoids both mages and templars of a personhood or life outside the order and Circle and treats them as objects. Many templar recruits are children and are basically indoctrinated to believe they serve the Maker and they are needed and that they do the Maker’s will. There’s an interesting bit of dialogue you can get if your character is a warrior and talks to Cullen about the templar spec, basically if the Quiz says “templars serve the Maker, I’d do the same.” Cullen basically replies, “uh, yeah, that’s not going to make you righteous, believe me,” implying this was the way he once indoctrinated to think, but he no longer believes it so. Templars are given lyrium for their abilities, but also to placate them, something Alistair says in DAO. 

After Kirkwall Cullen sees where the Order is going, gets an offer from Cassandra and decides that if he removes the “part that kept [him] chained,” he would find his own purpose again. (He says this is your Quiz makes him take lyrium.) In Inquisition we learn he always wanted to protect people. (Our local mind reader Cole says “some templars want to only protect, like Cullen” if you ask him about templars.) And as a kid living in rural nowhere Ferelden, he saw the templars as protectors. Why I interpret his arc as more about recovery than redemption all has to do with Perseverance and the way you as the player can handle it: You can either let him know he can start over, he can endure and one day find a life of his own away from duty and battle, or you can make him take it and thus let him remain indoctrinated to what the chantry taught him, that there is nothing outside of duty and battle. It comes down between a choice of “you are leashed to what the chantry made you till you die” to “you are more and you can recover and make your own life,” which he does do by Tresspasser, romance or not. At the end of the game if you keep him off lyrium he basically thanks the Inquisitor for giving him a chance, letting him know he could be more. Additionally, a lyrium free Cullen in Tresspasser speaks of meeting his siblings again, developing a relationship. If you make him take it forever he refuses to see them. 

I could also see the arc as one of faith, and finding it again. If you keep him off lyrium the prayer in the chantry he speaks is one of quiet reassurance and finding strength through his faith, but if you make him take it the prayer is “blessed are the peacekeepers” and it’s uttered desperately as if he is trying to believe it. He also mourns how far he fell. All this to say that I find it very interesting his writer focused his personal quest around the lyrium and what lyrium represents rather than say, him meeting a mage who lived in Kirkwall or something and him trying to atone to them.  

When I wrote my post about why Cullen gets so much fandom related wank I got a lot of different responses that echoed the same thing about Cullen’s arc not getting a lot of attention. I think there is a lot of good writing there with his personal quest,  but his writing doesn’t fill in every single gap---not to mention people are going to have vastly different experiences on how they played the games till Inquisition. And my examples of dialogue are things you may not get if you don’t pick the right options. And heck, some people only have played Inquisition. 

So, I think me calling his arc in Inquisition a recovery arc has partially been not me trying to justify why I like him, but analyze a differing way a character who has screwed up in the past is written. Blackwall’s arc is a true redemption arc IMO. Cullen’s isn’t so clear cut as a redemption arc, but at the end of the day it is truly about him finding his own purpose again, which leads me to lean more toward calling it a “recovery arc.”

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Before Dawn (Levi x Reader)

So, I wrote this mostly in one sitting because I longed to post it on Archive of our own but I'm sure not all people read stories there, so if I can make someone's day brighter with some not so slow slow burn and eventual fluff then I'm in. I hope you enjoy, also I don't know how to add the read more option on mobile

Your face meets the hard, cold pillow of your bed with a loud but somewhat muffled thud. Your room turns darker and darker by each passing second as the sun slowly disappears behind the mountains. When you can't feel any stream of light entering the room you peak outside of your dormitory's window. Another exhausting day has finally come to an end.

Being the youngest member of Erwin's team isn't always as good as many of your comrades picture to be. Most of them believe you're babied, treated softly and specially, which is untrue to any possible extend. If anything, you're practically silenced by your other team members, who are much older and far more experienced than you. You do errands for everyone most the time and you're even assigned paperwork concerning fallen soldiers. You humph quietly. Soldiers can talk and gossip as much as they want, you're used to having to hear a new rumor about every one every passing week anyway.

Time seems to pass slowly as you're laying there, not moving a single inch of your body. In fact you contemplate on weather to even bat an eye to the direction of whoever's poking you. You have been satisfied with not having to talk to anyone for that little time you had to yourself.

"(Y/n) come on, we're just finished forming new squads."

Your much necessary time to relax seems to have to come to an end. It's almost never your choice, whether you get to rest or not that is, but you only sense it's going to get worse now that Erwin has been ranked as the new survey corps commander. A loud groan makes its way out of your barely parted lips. It only takes one second to storm out of your bed and another one to be able to stand still on your feet.

"Uhgh Hange, I hate that they have to do this right now. I was about to go shower." You mumble under your breath, solely with the intention of whining your way out of this situation. There's no such thing as convincing Hange out of pretty much anything anyway though, you scold yourself for believing it's worth the time.

The walk down the corridor is dull and silent and the only noise that can be heard comes from inside the dining hall that you pass without missing a heart beat. It's been a while since you started skipping dinner because your appetite was going down hill. In addition, it's not that Hange even brought up dinner at the sight of the dining hall.

Upon arriving at Erwin's door Hange lifts her hand and steadily knocks twice. You're not even standing on the spot for a second before the familiar word of approval is spoken from inside. Hange practically drags you inside, instantly adding tones of despair into your misery for the night.

Despite your best wishes, everyone in the room has fixed their eyes on you after the squeal you let out due to Hange's rushing movements. "Welcome (y/n)" Erwin speaks and you nod in response before saluting boringly. He urges you to take a stand between Levi and Mike and you comply without even trying to give it a second thought. Even though it's frantically silent in the room in a way you think that a single sound carrying breath could break it while Erwin speaks, you witness as Mike decides to tresspass that.

"You're squad Mike girl!" He whispers to you in a prideful way. His smirk betrays the happiness that has swelled on him by receiving this rank.

"Any questions?" Erwin asks before he forces his voice to come to an halt. Seeing that no one requests to know a thing from him he proceeds to call new squad leaders, one by one to pick members for their teams. Surprisingly enough, Levi gets called after Mike, speculating a peculiar reaction by the remaining veterans, even you, someone who has no place in voicing any object to Erwin's commands.

"Levi's not to doubt, I believe you all know that, and he will be running the new special operations team."

It occurred to you that no one was actually doubting Levi's abilities; most of them had probably been jealous to having to work that hard to receive a rank when he was only in the regiment for a year. However had they known Levi even in the tiniest bit though they'd never have an ounce of jealousy for him. Not that you knew much to beging with. What you had managed to gather from him about his past were a few broken sentences a night he accepted to come and hang out with your squad mates that he only spoke to you as he accompanied you to your barrack upon being forced by Mike.

You sit there, between the two men quietly for the rest of the long meeting and once you're dismissed you practically sprint to the showers. You know the water ought to be freezing cold by now but you preferre to endure this rather than having to wash alongside your female comrades. Growing up, your little given time in the shower was your only rightful privacy and you intend to keep it that way.

The water stops with a twist of your hand at the handle. You search for your towel in the dark and as you set your hands on it you rapidly begin to pat your body dry. Throwing your long nightgown on, you begin stomping out. Momentarily you seem to be in a haze of meaningless thoughts that pass your mind so fast, you can't even get a grip of them, many things seem to occupy your mind lately. New formations, improved harness gear, the news of your mother's death. You can't seem to put your thoughts in order, not for tonight at least. It's only when a deep, monotone voice rings in your ears that you jump and leave a little squeak come out of the depths of your throat.

"Oii"

"Shit! Don't sneak up on me like that" you wonder if you have to address him but in the end you do; in the end of the day you are one of formalities and everyone who knows you can confirm that. "sir.."

Levi simply clicks his tongue in response. You're the first person to address him as a commanding officer as of now, probably because every one else would need a moment to take it in, including himself.

"Thanks for making Isabel feel welcome back then." Levi's voice is barely louder than a whisper yet it never cracks, not even a little but that isn't what's taking you aback. The statement, in fact, sends you literally a few steps back and shoots your hand to your forehead in an act of despair. The cruel scene still plays in your head from time to time and you wonder how many times it must do so in his. You find your heart stopping for a moment before you feel a teeny flicker that sends your pulse running through your veins.

It's natural for someone not to be able to comprehend trauma in ways they are expected or rather forced to. Levi in particular is introverted and moody, if not most, then all of the time but this statement shines a different light on your understanding of his character. He's as emotionally drained and traumatized as someone can be. In fact, everyone is but this doesn't mean ones personal pain is lessened, in your opinion it makes it even worse.

"Not everyone is taught mannerisms I guess. The girls who made her feel unwanted can eat shit anyways."

It's obvious that Levi doesn't want to utter another word of the matter and you're not the one to push him out of his comfort zone. An uptight upbringing and the misfortunus chance of interacting with superficial assholes for equal parts of your life have taught you how to have temperament. To be patient even when you physically can't take it anymore.

"Tch.. Go to your barracks you're dismissed." It's time to bid eachother goodnight and of course Levi's eager to be the one to remind you of it. Tomorrow's a big day with everything you have to take care of after today's events. No cadet should be unable or not in position to assist by command.

"Sweating the chair already I see."

____

The next day starts with Nanaba waking you up. You take some time to adjust your eyes to the semi lit room. It strikes you how some people have always talked about how they missed feeling the magic of watching an eventual sunrise and even if you can see where they're coming from you're reminded every day of how much you despise every single aspect of it. Starting off with the runny nose it always bears for you as a hatred gift.

"I know it's kind of first thing in the morning but we have to help squad leader clean the office he was given.

Then again maybe you're just envying anyone who got to be woken up by sun's glowly warmth once it was already up in the sky.

"Hey, psst, don't zone out, get dressed."

Erratically, you skip breakfast. You fail to be in the mood for food lately most likely due to exhaustion or general disgust of whatever soup dish you are to be served. Your stomach has stopped trying to object to you since a young age. The only thing that ever makes it groan nowadays is guilt. With that devil of mother dead though it's not like you have anything to feel guilty for anyways.

"So here's your mop." Mike forces the object into your hands before you even get a chance to greet him. "Okay I repeat. Nanaba scrubs, (y/n) mops, Henning waxes. Lynne and Tomas you dust everything off. Understood?" All of you salute him with a 'yessir' before you watch him exit the room.

You spend most of your morning scolding Nanaba to go faster before you ultimately decide to switch places with her. You want to be over with cleaning, although you have no idea as to why but you do find yourself imagining that Levi sees you cleaning and thinks you're amazing at it and asks you to help him far too many times to count. You end up scolding yourself for that too. Nevertheless, it takes almost half an hour to finish with scrubbing, something you guess would have taken Nanaba eternity and a day.

Any sweat that's falling down your forehead you rub it off with the back of hand before you excuse yourself to a break. Seeing that no one will follow you stroll swiftly down the wooden hallway, with the restrooms in mind. You walk past Mike on the way, whom you greet cheerfully while fast informing him about your break. You're positive he practically smell your bladder is about to burst.

______

Tonight Hange draggs your unwilling piece of meat to dinner. She takes you to her usual table and sits you down amongst higher ranks. Some part of your brain fights you about not taking a stand against it. Your mother has always pressed for you to not enjoy what other in higher hierarchies have. But that's just a wooden fucking table with a stall. The voice in your head can shut it.

"Eat." Hange looks at you with a toothy grin, head tilted in your direction as she a eats a spoonful of her vegetable soup. You still feel an excessive amount of absurd guilt about raising objections so you smile back and stuff a portion of the food in your mouth with the intention of gulping it down as fast as possible. And of course Levi doesn't fail to notice the look of disgust in your face from across the table.

"Eat" Mike orders from Levi's left, gesturing to your plate with his spoon, an awkwardly soft smile plastered on his face. It beats you as to why they've decided to be persistent tonight out of all nights.

"Tch, show some respect to the people who work on your daily food. Drop that disgusted face or take cooking duty for the week."

With a pout in your lips you avert Levi's gaze in anger and overall shame. You lift the bowl containing the soup and you gulp it down as you try to ignore the knot at the back of your throat that threatenes to push back everything if you continue forcing your body to endure this.

Mike seems to be physically scolded to look at you because you see him jump in shock due to the unexpected action towards him for a fragment of a second. He takes no real interest in scolding you however, something that puts pressure on Levi for the matter.

"You just earned yourself cooking duty for the week, keep this up and Mike won't be as lenient as me." He talks sternly as he bores his eyes into yours. The unreadable lack of expression in his face remains intact, as always, but once again you choose to look away.

"Can I be dismissed?" You simply utter while your orbs take turns to look between Hange and Mike.

"Shoo shoo, I'm not pushing you girl" Mike pays little attention to you as he chunks on his bread with his eyes shut. If looks could kill you swear he would have been slashed to death by both Hange and Levi. To your luck of course, they can't, so you sit up from the stall in the most discreet way possible. Hange observes in silence as Levi's eyes follow your form across the room until you take a turn to get lost in the barracks. He then averts his gaze to the bowl of soup in front him for the remaining of his time in the dining hall.

It's one of those nights that you decide not to throw your whole body, face first, onto your bed; you've abused it very much in this way, the last thing you need to is for it to break apart and take down the twin bed on top of it. You sigh deeply before you bring your hands to cover your face in hopes that it will soothe your tingling skin.

Why was that silly little scenario of Levi watching you clean still stuck in your head all day long and why did it keep repeating over and over. To be clear with yourself, you didn't really know.

Your other roommates start flooding the room in a matter of seconds. It's always like that; the come back from dining and they chit chat for a few minutes before some of them go to sleep while others decide on showering before taking their given amount of rest for the night.

"(Y/n) lift your fucking head up you look like a corpse." Nifa, the girl who sleeps on the bed on top yours speaks.

"Not in the mood Nif. I'm sorry."

"You could try and talk to us!" Petra says on response, cutting Nifa off.

"I just don't want to cook for everyone. That's all." You spit a lie that's debatably believable. The girls that starts probing the walls of your stomach almost feels like liquid fire.

Did they really want to know the truth, or would they be disgusted by whatever came out of your mouth. Almost every one in the survey corps had a rough backstory and a purpose, and though you didn't lack of tragic and despair your purpose was pathetic and delusional.

"Look, I hate to see you like that and well you've been that moody way that before that punishment tonight. So spill."

"I don't want to be a burden!"

"Cut the crap." Lynne rhetored as she sat at the end of your bed, pinching your calf.

Well, you're probably annoying them by not letting any one of them in. "My mother died."

A few apologies and condolences are heard in response by the girls around you as they stare at you with oggly pitiful eyes.

"She was horrible and old no need to be sorry, I'm just conflicted on whether I loved her or not. I'm just unfazed but my mind guilt trips me on it." Your words are soft and your gaze fixed on the wooden floor underneath your legs. "I don't want to go into much abusive details, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise!" Petra exclaims from her kneeling position next to you. "It's fine if you don't tell us anything. We shouldn't have pushed you." The girls all nod in response and the mood seems to darken the rooms aura with each silently passing second.

"I thought it was like boy problems" Lynne says as she wraps her right arm around your shoulder and squeezes you on her. Her palms quickly travel straight to your cheeks to poke and squish them in the most humorus way. "Tomas likes me and I avoid him, give me a breeak!"

You can't help but give a muffled giggle out to her. It's almost as if you approve of her little impression of you, and you do, mostly because laughing helps you take a weight off your chest. All girls around you are giggling in their turns with closed eyes, happily narrowed brows and scrunched up noses.

You shouldn't even let yourself be that moody anywayy.

___

To say that Levi is merely perplexing would be an understatement. Because here's the deal; no one could maintain such a straight face while pinning someone down. You're basically a lost cause as you maniacally move your head on the grass to avoid his gaze. Mentally you try to recall what brought you in this position in the first place. Was it because you challenged him to engage in combat or because he was a complete show off, it's beyond you at this point.

"I have your knife."

"What?" Levi looks at you with the tinniest bit of a puzzled impression plastered all over his face. Yet he doesn't get up from you. In the end he can't even know that you feel your skin burning with rage.

"I have your knife, sir. I won" you remark in a tiny little voice from the back of your throat.

"Tch, just because you have the knife doesn't mean your opponent won't attack you or even use that against you." Levi's voice is also calm and steady and even matching your tone in volume. You watch with anticipation as he opens his mouth to speak and when words begin to form he's interrupted.

"Ah sir, I want to spare with you as well!" Petra smiles as she fixes some lose strands of hair behind her ears.

Deciding to spend anymore time on this position on top of you, Levi pushes your wrists on the ground once again before completely getting off of you. You realise he's taken the dummy knife him, something he probably did in the blink of an eye. Of course he'd make his point whatever it took.

Training has stripped your stomach of the fullness that breakfast has secured you with and now you can hear the organ growl angrily inside your body. Having spent a week as the survey corps cook as a punishment has also worked wonders for your little appetite, because it physically drained you to the bone. You don't even know where to start about that unexpected shenanigan.

Unbeknownst to you, Nanaba and Lynne roll their eyes at your blanked expression. "Wall Maria to (y/n)? Hello? Is anyone in there?" An inpatient Lynne knocks a little too loud at the side of your head. Nifa laughs at the sight as well.

"Ohhh, I am." You whine. "Also ouch! I'm just not in my right head!"

"You uhm... mean piece of mind?" A few pieces of bread fall out of Nanaba's hand as she stuffs her mouth. It only takes a while to come up with a line to say to excuse your absurdness.

It's not that you want to feel that way about Levi or that you choose to either. It's probably an outcome of fatigue and a tiny infatuation that rule your mind like an empire that's about to fall. Levi's handsome, there's no denying in that, you've thought so ever since you set your eyes on him but he was ten years older than you and pretty much uninterested to almost everything. Maybe it's that you hoped he could look at you with the same enthusiasm that made you feel like you had a crush.

In reality you believe that these are pretty much lame reasons and Nanaba especially will laugh at you. 'Do you even have a reason to have a crush on someone?' Ugh, you can literally listen to her.

"Hmm, sorry I can't seem to communicate today. Might as well share." You decide it's not polite to keep things to yourself when others are trying to care for you. "Well it's that-"

"Do you guys find the Captain handsome?"

As always thanks for reading 👉❤️👈 if you have any request you can pop one in my askbox. Feedback is always appreciated, I really love seeing your opinions, they keep me motivated. I adore you guys

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

The five proposals Freed Justine rejected and the one he did accept.

Fraxusweek by @fuckyeahfraxus day 7, with the prompt being  :  Proposal/Wedding/Engagement

1. A girl who's confused, but has got the spirit.

It's a precarious situation and Laxus doesn't know how to solve it. They've got the bad guy of the day cornered, but instead of going along willingly, the man thought it a good idea to get civilians involved. Quickly, the perpetrator had seen that there was no way to get out of his situation, with Laxus, Bickslow and Evergreen trapping him against the side of a building. So he had wrangled a little girl out of her screaming mother's grip and now, he has his one hand wrapped around her throat while he waves a weapon around with the other one.

To her credit, the little girl isn't going down without a fight, kicking and screaming as the situation keeps escalating. If the man wasn't wearing a mask, Bickslow probably could've done something about it. Brainwashing the girl herself is out of the question, as she's more likely to injure than save herself. Opening fire upon the man is completely out of the question, so now they're all stuck.

Rest of the fic under the cut!

The answer comes in the form of their ever so dependable captain kicking down the door from the inside, effectively smashing it into the man who had unwittingly been shielding the little girl from stray doors suddenly opening. With a dull thud, the man falls to the floor, unconscious.

As Bickslow and Evergreen cheer their captain on for a job well done, Laxus catches the surprise in his eyes and the 'oops' he silently mouths before looking around. When Freed comes to the conclusion that his habit of tresspassing for fun has not gotten him into trouble for once, he smiles at his teammates while telling them of the importance of 'seeing all the options' amongst other things. Later, in private, he'll tell the little shit that he knows he's full of bull, but for now Laxus will let him gloat.

Starry-eyed, the now saved little girl tugs on Freed's jacket, narrowly avoiding getting clocked by his sword. "Mister, you saved me!" she says and Freed nods with more confidence than he should have, considering his heroic act was one of mere coincidence.

"That means you have to marry me", she says in a matter of fact voice that throws all of them off. "That's what my books say", she continues before throwing a hopeful glance at Freed.

Behind his back, Freed makes a tiny gesture with his hand and with a bit of magic, he hurls a rather concerningly large rock at Laxus. Swiftly, he moves between Laxus and the rock, fending it off with his rapier. "Well young lady", he says, turning to the girl. "Now I have saved this man as well and now I have to marry him too. I hope you don't mind sharing."

With all the huffy- and puffyness girls that age usually possess, she turns her head harrumphs. "No, I don't like sharing. I'm not settling for trash", she continues, giving Freed the stinkeye. "So our engagement is called off, goodbye my sweet prince", she dramatically sighs before joining her mom. She does wave them all goodbye though, so that's a nice bonus.

2. A girl who isn't confused and hasn't got the spirit.

The second time Freed gets proposed to, it isn't even done by the bride to be. No, the bride to be stands there somberly, as her father tries to offer Freed her hand. "Surely", the man says, "A handsome young man such as yourself wouldn't refuse a gorgeous young lady. She knows how to cook and keep quiet, what else do you want?"

There's a quick flash of anger in the daughter's eyes and anger radiates off Freed as well, although he's more apt at hiding it. It's only because Laxus knows him so well that he knows how the other man really feels.

"What else I want?" Freed asks, voice carefully leveled before throwing on the biggest of smiles. "Why, your son would be a good place to start. He's gorgeous as well and I bet he's a fast learner, we could make our dinner together before having a ménage à trois in our kitchen."

The words immediately hit home and before they know it, the four of them are hightailing it out of there, but not before Freed has pressed a vial with suspicious liquid into the girl's hand with a whisper of: "Please feel free to use this however you want."

3. The spirit.

As far as Laxus knows, the party gathered in front of him is reaching the peak of their little roleplay game. He has no idea what they're actually prattling about, but Freed looks happy playing whatever it is, so of course he's there too. Although he isn't participating and merely laying his head down on Freed's lap, as he's done the past few session, he can kind of tell what's going on based on observations and little comments Freed gives now and then.

Wendy is narrating the story and honestly, her youthful spirit adds a gentle touch to it. Levy, Lucy, Mira, Freed and for some reason, Gray and Loke are the nerds participating and rolling dice. Throughout the story, familial bonds have been formed and right now, they're on the cusp on something more than just familial.

Loke and Freed's characters have been flirting since pretty much the first session. Laxus really doesn't mind, because he trusts Freed and also because both men are making a competition out of it. It keeps Freed sharp, so to speak and he only becomes better at flirting with Laxus in return. It's ridiculous how smooth he is sometimes.

In-game, Loke has proposed to Freed and the whole group is hollering and shouting until Loke rolls the dice. Then they fall silent, so naturally, Laxus presumes something bad has happened. Calmly Wendy shoots the group a warm smile before saying: "Alberion (the name of Freed's character) panics, thinking he's gotten too close to the enemy. He shoots Guryon (Loke) and flees, back to the dark castle where he was born and raised!"

A series of whats and hows raises from the group while Freed and Wendy bump fists. Seeing the indignant expression on the rest of the players' faces, Wendy merely shrugs. "It was on his character background sheet", she explains and leaves the group to deal with the betrayal.

4. A man who's had too much spirit.

"Justine, marry me", Hibiki Lates sobs into Freed's shoulder as Laxus watches in amusement. His boyfriend is looking mildly annoyed at the overly intoxicated man, but there's a hint of fondness in the set of his lips.

"Now why would I do that?" he asks with a sigh and Hibiki immediately straightens his back before putting a USB-stick into Freed's hand.

"There's a powerpoint on there", he explains before starting to list his good qualities. "I'll start with the main reason why you should marry me: I'm really, really cute."

"That's what you're going with? Not our 1 week relationship when we were both fifteen?"

"No, because we broke up you dumbass", Hibiki says before headbutting Freed harder than probably intended. "You're not good at providing comfort, I'm gonna look for someone else", he mopes before stalking off. Before disappearing from view completely, he turns around to yell at Freed. "This is why our teenage romance didn't last!" Both of them end up snorting and laughing about it.

5. A man who's lost his spirit.

To say he's nervous is a serious understatement. Laxus has been planning this proposal for months now, has lost a significant amount of sleep over it and will probably cry if even the littlest of details goes wrong. He's stressed beyond belief.

For now, everything seems to be moving in the right direction. His reservation at the expensive seaside restaurant hasn't magically been cancelled and the clothes he'd set aside for today still fit nicely. Freed has also been going along with Laxus' plans without demanding to know what they're doing. Seemingly sensing Laxus nervousity, he simply follows wherever Laxus directs him to be.

The first thing that nearly goes wrong, is transportation and Laxus really has no idea how that even happened. He planned this whole thing while giving his own weaknesses no thought. As the carriage had pulled up, Freed had commented how nice it looked before giving Laxus a teasing smile, while telling him how good it was that that carriage wasn't for them, as Laxus would've puked all over it.

Immediatle, he blanches and Freed, bless his heart picks up on it. He waves the carriage off, which isn't a problem since Laxus already paid for it and then sets up some transportation runes. "Just imagine the place where we need to be and we'll be taken there", he instructs Laxus.

The seaside view is luckily just as gorgeous as in the pictures and Laxus feels the repeated crashing of the waves soothing his mind. Maybe it would go alright after all. The two of them settle in their chairs and look at the menu, commenting on some of the stranger recipes. Swiftly Laxus decides what he wants to eat and puts the menu down to ask Freed for his choice.

It's then that he catches Freed drumming his fingers on the table while biting his lip. He's also tapping his feet, so Laxus knows that he's essentially screwed. "Is there something wrong?" he asks, nervousity returning in full swing.

"Ah...It's just a little something that hasn't really been brought up." Catching Laxus' questioning gaze, Freed winces a little bit. "I'm allergic to seafood. Deathly allergic actually", he admits sheepishly and Laxus wants to dig a hole in the ground and take a nap in it. "Don't make that face", Freed gently chastises him. "This trip isn't wasted." With a grin, he browses through the menu until he's found what he's looking for. Triumphantly he turns the booklet around to show Laxus the dessert section. "You best believe I am testing out as much of these bad boys as I can. I don't believe they'll put fish in there."

After something that could be counted as some form of a meal, the two of them want to take a walk on the beach. They are however dressed to the nines and after a brief moment of consideration, they come to the conclusion that neither of them wants to clean all the sand out of these clothes, so they let a walk on the sand itself drift from their minds for today. Instead they walk on the pavement until the sun sets.

During their walk, Laxus thinks that now would be a good time to propose. The setting sun is the perfect background and he bets it'd look really romantic if he were to pop out the rings right about now. Right about then, is when he realises he left the rings at home. After vehemently checking each and every one of his pockets, it's clear that a proposal isn't going to happen. To highlight this fact, the wind starts picking up and Laxus knows a gathering storm when he sees one. Defeated, he sits down on the sidewalk.

With more pep than Laxus'll probably feel for the rest of the week, Freed plops down next to him and lays his head on Laxus' shoulder. "My dear, do you want to cry about it?" he asks and honestly, he wants to but they're in public. Crying in front of Freed is one thing, crying in front of a crowd is another thing. "It's good that it's going to rain then", he adds gently before taking his head of Laxus' shoulder and opening his arms. "Get over here sweetheart."

It's a bit embarrassing, sitting there in the now full-on storm and crying while his boyfriend cradles him in his arms. But it feels too good to pass on, so he doesn't let go until he feels somewhat placated.

"My dear Laxus", Freed says softly but still audible over the storm, "You could ask me to marry you in the back of a dumpster and I'd wholeheartedly say yes. But you worked hard on this, didn't you? I'll keep that effort in mind. So ask me another day, when your nerves have calmed down. I just want to tell you now, I love you and I always will."

6. Two spirits, a shared love.

This time around, there are no theatrics or outrageously expensive restaurants. It's a simple breakfast prepared by Laxus, one he knows Freed'll like. After sliding the last egg on a plate, he goes upstairs to try to coax Freed out of bed for the third time this morning. A few languid kisses follow and reluctantly Freed follows, sticking close to Laxus because he is so very warm and comfortable.

"It's time for food, don't use me as your human blanket", Laxus softly admonishes him and Freed grumbles in return. With droopy eyes, Freed starts nibbling on his toast and although Laxus is very used to the sight of his boyfriend in the morning, it still elicits a smile from him.

"Yesterday I spent the day with Bix and he learned me some magic tricks", Laxus says and produces a set of cards out of his pocket. "Wanna see some?"

Vaguely interested, Freed hums and nods. Dutifully he picks out a card when Laxus asks him to and when Laxus asks him if he picked out Freed's card, the man shakes his head drowsily. "That isn't even a card Laxus, that's a box...", he complains quietly, yawning a bit afterwards.

"There is an accompanying card though", Laxus grins as he shoves the little box and the card to Freed side of the table. Predictably, Freed picks up the card first, reading the message and silently forming the words with his mouth.

Immediately the sleepiness seems to evaporate from his system as he quickly opens the box as well, revealing the rune-ingraved ring. Before even answering, he throws his arms around Laxus, planting a big, fat smooch on his lips before peppering a thousand little ones all over his face. "I love you", he gushes before collecting his thoughts a little bit. "And of course I'll marry you." They exchange some more kisses until Freed pulls back with a huge grin. "I'm going to brag to everyone. The guild, the lady at the grocer's, they'll be hearing it for months."

With a gentle tug, Laxus witholds the man from running out of the door in his bathrobe. "If they're going to hear about it for months, then you've got time to finish your breakfast, silly", he says warmly and Freed shoots him a cheeky smile and a wink in return.

[not-majestic-bluenicorn]

The MONSTA X Time-Travel Theory (Originally the MONSTA X Universe Theory)

Hello everyone, and welcome to my new and improved MONSTA X Theory. You read the title right, this was originally called the MONSTA X Universe Theory, but unfortunately it can no longer have that name. I’ll explain why shortly. I posted this theory in February of last year, and since then, a lot of things have changed. My theory really only addressed until before Take 1, so it’s been 4 comebacks and one world tour since then, can you believe it? So yes, quite a few things have changed, and we’ll go over them.

What has changed?

Originally, the theory proposed that everything started in the Tresspass-The Clan timeline, that it was the original timeline and that everything went down from there. However, since Follow: Find You, this is no longer possible, as the Find You MV shows us the origin of Hyungwon’s abilties. Thus, the Tresspass-The Clan theory is now a stand alone. Technically I already wrote a theory on The Clan, although I didn’t address its connection to Tresspass, maybe I’ll do that in a separate “add-on” sort of post. Because of this, it can no longer be called a “Universe Theory”, as MONSTA X is not integrating all of their stories into one very convoluted timeline, but instead they have two separate stories (if later on they connect everything, I’m throwing the towel). That’s the main change, but this change provokes a bit of a butterfly effect, so let’s see how much the theory has changed.

The Story

Phase 1: The First Timeline - The Origin (We Are Here World Tour VCR, Take 1 & Take 2)

I know this is a weird place to start the theory, almost near the end, but it actually makes a lot of sense. These three videos serve a very similar purpose to what Beautiful did for The Clan, they explain the origin of their friendship. Now, things aren’t as dramatic as they’re shown in these three videos (at least I hope so, ‘cause things are gonna get very weird from a plot point of view if they are). The main point of narration is the We Are Here World Tour VCR, from now on abbreviated as WAR because it’s easy to remember like that, and because it fits the theme of the video (watch it here).

WAR introduces us to seven fine young men who have each committed a sin (two of which aren’t even actual sins, but I understand why they would change those two). Hyungwon and Pride, I.M and Envy, Kihyun and Loneliness, Jooheon and Greed, Wonho and Sloth, Shownu and Wrath, and Minhyuk and Agony. These sins are not actual crimes from a futuristic dystopia (although that would be a cool concept), these are just the personal struggles they are dealing with, the personal backgrounds that consume them.

Hyungwon is a rich kid that believes himself better than everyone. I.M is the local witch (?) who hates the rich kid. Kihyun is probably the only child that was forced by his parents to be perfect. Jooheon and Shownu are a very misguided pair of trouble-makers who’re friends with Wonho, who practices Taekwondo but can’t reach the standard he wants. Minhyuk lost someone important to him.

In the Special Film and the Previous Film called ‘ARE YOU THERE?’ they explain these personal struggles, how their situations make them fall into those sins, and how they’re looking for someone to save them. This salvation comes in the form of each other. In WAR they further explain their own sins and how being with each other saved them from drowning in them. Alligator represents the sins and them drowning in the swamp of their own despair. Shoot Out is them breaking away from their past and destroying these sins.

Phase 2: The First Timeline - The Trigger (Find You MV)

Originally I proposed that Hyungwon got his powers by entering that weird heart at the end of All In and Fighter. I’ve now been proved wrong. After they each overcome their past and become friends, Hyungwon’s family has an accident in which both of his parents die and he comes out badly wounded. After he recovers, he’s now living by himself and taking different medications to deal with the aftermath of the accident. The boys decide they cannot leave their friend like that and temporarily stay at his house.

While they’re sleeping, Hyungwon wakes up and visits his father’s study. He finds the damaged watch which sends him to an entirely different timeline. This is showcased by him suspended in the water, with images of Dramarama and Destroyer flashing by. There is a scientific theory that proposes that spacetime is actually a superfluid; I won’t go deep on this because I don’t fully understand it, but showing Hyungwon trapped in water is a good analogy to him being trapped in a different spacetime. This is also briefly shown in The Connect World Tour VCR, (from now on addressed as CWT), but we’ll talk about this one in more detail later.

Wonho wakes up first and notices Hyungwon isn’t there, so he wakes up the others and they try to retrace his steps. Unfortunately, Hyungwon is not part of that timeline anymore, he’s gone for good. This leads us into our second timeline.

Phase 3: The Second Timeline (The Code & The Connect World Tour VCR)

After Hyungwon jumps into spacetime, he becomes lost. Personally, I think there is a possibility that there were other timelines he visited first until he eventually learned to craft the watches himself, as we see in CWT (watch it here). Maybe he just watched this timeline fail a lot of times before he learned and decided to intervene. Either way, Hyungwon actively tries to reunite all of them by giving them the watches. He succeeds for a moment, but in this timeline there exists an agency that controls Time Travel, who frustrate his plans every single time.

It is important to know that in this timeline, the boys don’t all know each other and some of them don’t even exist in the same era. They don’t remember Hyungwon either. Personally I think not remembering Hyungwon might be because he removed his existence entirely by disappearing from his original timeline. There cannot be two of him, as that would cause problems, so instead he just completely seizes existing in all possible universes as he moves through them.

The rest of the boys still exist within the normal spacetime frame though, but they’re lost and ignorant to their true origin. They have forgotten each other and can’t remember yet. However, no matter how hard they try, this timeline is completely doomed because the agency is actively trying to frustrate Hyungwon’s efforts, even if they don’t have something against him specifically. So Hyungwon jumps into the water again, he must continue searching.

Phase 4: The Third Timeline (The Connect: Music Film D & The Connect World Tour VCR)

Destroyer is yet another timeline distinct to Dramarama. We know this because we see different pairings, completely different settings and completely different timelines. The Music Film D is divided in three stages: Part 1 The Code (a very obvious reference, this is already letting us know they’re connected), Part 2 Finding the road, and Part 3 Connected (clear reference to the current album).

D shows us the boys as geniuses, Minhyuk and Shownu are artists, Kihyun and Wonho are science (physics?) prodigies, and Jooheon and IM dominate technology. CWT gives us a bit more insight and shows us something very important: they have begun to remember each other and they have memories from their previous timeline. They want to find the person they were paired with in their first timeline, but more than that, they also have memories of Hyungwon’s intervention, even if they don’t remember him properly (because let’s remember Hyungwon removed himself entirely).

They know they have to find someone, and so they set out to do it. Through their own methods they all come to the revelation on how to find Hyungwon. Kihyun and Wonho do the math, Jooheon and Changkyun use technology, and I guess Minhyuk and Shownu have a vision which they paint? Not sure on that one to be honest, but they find the train station.

This could either be a real place in which every timeline and universe converge or just a metaphor for them figuring out how to do the same thing Hyungwon does, either explanation works.

Hyungwon is trapped in this train, which is another analogy, but this time for the (liminal) space between dimensions. He’s tired himself out trying to reunite the others, and this time they must come for him, and they do. They find each other, they remember, and they reunite once again. This time nothing can pull them apart.

Phase 5: Interlude (The Connect: Jealousy & The Connect World Tour VCR)

Jealousy doesn’t feed the plot itself but helps connect (pun not intended) and put everything else into place. Through different imagery, Jealousy illustrates how the different timelines push them together and then pull them apart, creating different pairings, but that despite this they still share things in common (the paper with numbers, the recorder, the glass of water). Another thing this video does is allude to Jooheon’s death in Dramarama through the use of os symbolism. In one scene, a paper with his symbol is being burned, while in yet another, the chair he’s seen sitting on throughout the video is being burned as well and then falls down to the abyss.

On the other hand, CWT creates a clear and obvious connection between Dramarama and D, revealing to us that they do have memories from other timelines. Another cool thing is that we get to see Hyungwon on the rooftop where they filmed Hero, released back in 2015. It also provides a clearer scene of Hyungwon crafting the watches himself and of him at the top of the Hero building. We can also see the last scene from Jealousy mirrored in the last few seconds of the VCR, which is something worth pointing out.

But, as the VCR says “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. Where did things begin? That’s right, in Find You, so the next step is Follow.

Phase 6: The Third Timeline - Back to the Beginning (Follow)

If Monbebe has a war anthem, it is most definitely Follow, which is an amazing song. Unfortunately, Starship has decided to stop providing explicit story development on their MVs since Jealousy, so Follow doesn’t do much for the story itself. However, I have three important reasons to believe this is where the circle ends: all of the references to time, the quote from CWT,and the very last scene of the MV. Let’s go in order.

The most obvious reference is them standing on clocks painted on the floor, but that’s not the only one. We get to appreciate a few watches here and there, reminiscent of Hyungwon’s in D and Dramarama, and also see the movement of their shadows as a passage of time. The most important reference though, is the cover of the album. The title, “Follow” is solid and then becomes “liquid” as it moves down. This makes sense when you consider the other two points.

First of all, “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. The beginning of the whole mess is Find You, part of the Follow album, there is no doubt about it, so why is Follow the end? Well, because of the last scene in the MV. I know it’s Shownu standing at the top of the stairs in front of the circle, and while it would be better if it was Hyungwon for the sake of this theory, we’ll just completely ignore that. That circle they’re walking towards is the train. ‘Follow’ in the cover becomes fluid because once they cross that circle or enter that train, they too remove themselves from existence like Hyungwon.

That’s not the only thing though. In D, Wonho solves the formula for time travel as X=4155102M, he does it again in Alligator and I believe it’s also briefly shown in WAR. Kihyun also travels back to 2015 in Dramarama to save Jooheon, and Hyungwon is standing on Hero’s rooftop, which was released back in 2015. Their debut date is their beginning, and they keep referencing it over and over because they’re trying to go back to the beginning in order to solve everything.

They went from Find You to Dramarama, to Destroyer and now they’re back at the beginning with Follow; they are connected again. They have different faces and personalities because they’re not the same people from the original timeline, but they managed to find each other and transcend spacetime to be together. So now, what happens next?

Phase 7: Moving Forward (FANTASIA X)

Here is where things get a little complicated, both in the story and in real life. With Wonho’s departure from the group (go support his solo debut), we now have an even number, which wouldn’t seem like a big deal if it wasn’t for the FANTASIA X Trailers. In each trailer we see that each one of the members now possesses a device which allows them to control time in one way or another.

Hyungwon and Shownu have keys, which when used to open anything will allow them to do spacetime travel (I would say only time but, well, I have no way to confirm this right now). Jooheon and I.M have this lighter-watches that when turned on, they allow them to stop time. Kihyun and Minhyuk have another very different set of keys that look like those in old toys or music boxes, which allow them to ‘rewind’ time when used.

Now, them getting powers is expected, since they also removed themselves from the “normal” existence and joined Hyungwon. I assume it is because of the even number that they gave Shownu the same powers as Hyungwon, but it makes it a little weird because Hyungwon has been special all this time. It also doesn’t make much sense that now Hyungwon is using a very different instrument. I want to believe that Wonho is supposed to be in Hyungwon’s place in the teaser, but it’s impossible to tell now.

Even ignoring all of that though, FANTASIA X overall just doesn’t make much sense with the theory. Sure, it’s still time related, which is like the biggest giveaway, but the boys still look lost and like they’re looking for something despite the fact that they already found each other. Maybe the Teasers could be their personal research into spacetime travel and their attempts to find Hyungwon, but I highly doubt so. I think it’ll make more sense after the next comeback or tour, since so far everything seems to come in threes (Dramarama, Destroyer and CWT, Shoot Out and Alligator and WAR, Follow:Find You, FANTASIA X and?).

Conclusions

Despite the fact that we can no longer call it a Universe Theory because it hasn’t been there since the start, I still think it is a story about them, about their struggles and how they’ve grown up. They’re each other’s friends and family, the value of X is their debut date because that is when they came into existence, they are each other’s dreams because they wanted to become artists and they did so by coming together into one group.

A lot of things have happened, but their friendship hasn’t changed. They got each other out of the swamp and helped each other overcome their difficulties in the hardest times. It is uncertain as to where the story will lead us next, in a way, I think this might be the start of a brand new story for MONSTA X. A direct consequence of the story they have carried out since The Code? Maybe, but probably very different and not exactly in the same storyline. It’s hard to know, but I’m excited about what they have in store for us nonetheless.

I hope you liked this theory, and be assured that I’ll add onto it as more things come out and new mysteries are to be solved. If you have any questions you can hit me up on my asks, Twitter (@soft_bluenicorn) or my CuriousCat (@soft_bluenicorn)! I’ll be glad to answer them ^^

[darksunrising]

Sola Gratia (3/?)

Masterlist

Rating / Warnings : General Audiences, no warning.

Fandom : Bram Stoker’s Dracula, BBC’s Dracula, various Dracula and vampire lore.

Part 3/? (2262 words)

Author’s notes : Eris starts to explore, and starts to understand castle and Count both hold some mysteries she is not sure she wants to resolve.

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My eyes fluttered open, and it took me a second to make sense of my surroundings. Sitting up with some difficulty, the soft mattress seemingly trying to keep me in, I set the covers aside, and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. The room was bathed in a strange light, almost green, and if the rain had stopped, the sky was still low with bulging clouds, threatening to burst open at any moment. The fire in the hearth had died out, only leaving a few red coals to shimmer softly.

I changed back into my new outfit. My usual clothes might have dried out overnight, but I had to admit I really loved the skirt. It had pockets, for hell’s sake. I had no idea what time it was, the dark skies making it impossible to assess the position of the sun. I figured if I were going to do anything, I might as well go check on the damage in my bag, which I decided to forget about last night. I left the room, trying to find my way back to the main hall. After a few hesitations and turnbacks, I finally found the main stairs, and reached my bag, still sitting near the door. As I feared, most of everything was soaked, even the food I’d taken with me. Had to throw that out, at some point. I found my phone, that I had miraculously put in a waterproof case. Still working, though on concerningly low battery, and had no signal. I sighed, and set it to extreme batter saver mode, hoping it would last until I could get back to civilisation.

I grabbed my remaining clothes to have them dry with the rest, and went to the dining room. There, the fire was still going strong, with a couple of fresh logs. At the end of the large banquet table, I was surprised to see a steaming pot of tea, and a plate of something close to scones, I believe. It was accompanied by a sheet of thick, high quality paper, folded in half to stand on its own, marked with my name in a neat, graceful handwriting.

“Dear Eris, I expect you had a pleasant sleep. I have left for the most of the day, and will certainly not return before dark. Please enjoy some breakfast, as you must surely be famished. Feel free to explore should you wish it, as I have left the keys for you along with this letter. I hope you will forgive me for my absence, and trust you will find the means for distraction. Your devoted host, Count Vlad Balaur.”

As I read the letter in a half hushed voice, warmth spread across my chest as I finished on his name. A glance at the table confirmed the presence of said keys. If I had to fumble through all of them every time I wanted to open a door, exploring just might take the whole day after all. I slipped them, along with the letter, in my pocket, and poured me a cup of tea. It was a different blend, black, yet flowery and soft. Perfectly well infused. The scones seemed to be fresh out of the oven, which made me wonder if he baked them himself, or had staff. I didn’t see anyone last night, but then again, it was late. If he was as rich as his house suggested, he just might. I figured I would look out for them. If anything, I had to compliment the chef. I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t eaten since yesterday at lunch, but eating these scones felt somewhat close to a religious experience.

After I became physically unable to eat any more, I decided to follow the Count’s idea, and explore. The castle was old, that much I could tell. I wasn’t an expert on architecture, but I was more or less convinced that the most ancient phase of construction had to be around the 13th, 14th century. The village probably built itself around it, so that would make some sense. Obviously, it had been updated, rebuilt, but the main structure was still visible. A lot of the rooms seemed almost… Stuck in time. A bit messy, crowded, as if the people who last left could come back any moment. Even so, the thick layer of dust dulling the colors made it clear that wasn’t going to happen.

I couldn’t help but feel some nostalgia. 15-year-old me would have been thrilled exploring a place like this. Not that I wasn’t, but at that time, I was so into urban exploration that I almost got dragged to the station a couple of times for tresspassing. My parents never knew, and just thinking of their reaction if they ever had had to go bail me out of jail for being a bastard goblin made me go into hysterics. Couldn’t help but picture my father, stilted up into some sad brown corduroy suit, mouth pinched in a lip-less line, having to pick up a ratty kid who just could not, would not, keep her grubby hands out of dangerous, rat infested abandonned houses. Or shut down psych wards, that one time. Pretty anti-climatic, that was. 

I stifled a laughter, and shut the door behind me. Most of the rooms were boudoirs, spare bedrooms and such. There was one large room, covered in hunting trophies and animal skeletons. This one interested me the most. Inside, I noticed it was close to a cabinet of curiosities. Glass and wood shelves hosted a variety of skeletons, egg and sea shells, fossils, even some weirdly misshapen baby animals, floating in yellowed jars. The taxidermied animals seemed almost real, and at any moment, I expected them to start moving around. One shelf, built along the whole length of a wall, was dedicated to various skulls, ranging from standard game, elks, boars and whatnot, to more exotic things. One in particular caught my eye. At first glance, I thought it might be human, but I was very quick to change my mind.

The skull seemed fine, strong jaw still attached to the cranium, even a bit of mummifies tissue still attached in some spaces. However, the teeth… The teeth made no sense. Too many, too sharp, like they had been filed into curved, pointy shapes you only see in great apes, or carnivorous animals. Reviewing every strange cultural rite that could explain such a bizarre thing, I started to feel more and more uneasy. I almost felt like it was staring at me from the shadows, behind the hollow eye sockets. Not necessarily wanting to linger any more, I slipped out of the room, and locked the door after a few tries. Just to be sure, you know.

I had visited most of the rooms, but still one was pinching my curiosity. If I understood right, I could see its windows from those of the corridor leading to the dining room. Tall windows, almost church-like. I passed its door a few times, but was never able to find the key that unlocked it. The mind works like it works, and by the thrid time, I was almost ready to find a way to pick the lock, or break it down. Frustrated as ever, I gave a kick to the frame, that made me repress a cry of pain.

“Well now, what has that poor door done to deserve this ?”

I nearly jumped at the sound of the Count’s voice. He was standing behind me, a manner which seemed to have become a habit on his part.

“It was resisting my best attempts to pierce it’s secrets, which is a grave offense in my book”, I replied.

“Ah, I am afraid it was entirely my fault”, he admitted, and produced a key from his pocket, twisting it between his long, slender fingers.

A mischievous smile playing on his lips, he unlocked the double doors, and pushed them open, dramatically turning back to face me, his coat flaring around him, arms open.

“Welcome to my library.”

The room was filled with the last rays of the sun, setting on the mountain ridge, under the clouds. It caught the dust the Count must have raised as he entered in golden specs, floating up all around him. Everywhere, bookshelves stretched out up to the high ceilings, accessible by ladders and small bridgeways. The floor was covered in richly woven carpets, and at every comfortable corner sat armchairs and reading tables, agremented with chandeliers. There had to be a lifetime’s worth of reading within these four walls, and for a moment, I was unable to even walk in.

As I finally regained control of my limbs, I stubled inside, jogging to the nearest shelf. Leather-bound books, stacks of rolled parchment, gilted, worn, intricate, small, large, I didn’t even know where to look first. There were so many different languages, I couldn’t even recognize half. I let my fingers trail along the backs of the volumes, deciding on which to pick first.

“Do you like it ?”, the Count softly asked, as if not to disturb my frantic search.

I turned towards him, unable to stop smiling. He looked almost surprised, almost moved. The sun caught his eyes, revealing their deep blue color. I noticed his hair was now dark as night, cascading on his shoulders. Not a single gray hair in sight. He looked almost exactly like his portrait in the dining room, now that I thought about it. He must have noticed my internal trouble.

“Is there something wrong ?”, he asked, stepping closer to me.

“Nothing”, I replied, shaking my head. “You seem to be… Well, for lack of better terms, younger than yesterday.”

“Ah, a bruise to my ego !”, he exclaimed as he carried a hand to his heart. “I know I have left my younger days behind, but I have yet to be an old man.”

It had been a dark, stormy night, and I figured that by candlelight, my mind could have played tricks on me. Maybe I had been expecting a lonely old man so much, that he appeared that way, in my slightly frostbitten mind. I decidedly turned my attention to the shelves, and picked a volume. A bit worn, but the dark green of the leather, and the tiny golden patterns still vivid on the spine. As I read the title, it had me laughing to myself. Ὀδύσσεια, Homer’s Odyssey, in the “original” speech.

“Do you read ancient greek ?”, the Count asked, now looking over my shoulder.

“I have had the misfortune of learning it. Since then, I fell out of practice, I think.”

I turned over the pages, the familiar words coming back to mind without having to really read them. It was with this story, and the Illiad, that my parents taught me. I knew them almost by heart at that point. His tall silhouette, behind me, felt almost protective. I was nearly tempted to let myself lean back against his chest. I could feel soft strands of hair brushing past my shoulder, making a shiver run down my spine.

“Are you cold ?”, he asked. “I am afraid these walls tend to not hold the heat very well. I could have a fire lit here, if you want.”

His tone was almost tender, concerned. I had no time to answer, before I heard the rustling of fabric, and felt the weight of his coat placed over my shoulders. His hands lightly slid down my arms, flattening the soft, tightly woven wool over me. The sudden warmth did nothing for my shivering, and I nervously turned another page. My finger slipped on the edge, which cut right through the soft skin.

I cursed under my breath, watching red bead at the cut, and run toward my palm. The hands of the Count, still over my shoulders, suddenly gripped them tight, almost enough to hurt me. I could swear I heard a growl from deep inside his chest. He took my hand in his, examining the wound. A slow stream of red came trickling down his own fingers. He was leaning closer to me, so much that I could feel his breathing on the nape of my neck, heavy, trembling.

“You should be more careful”, he told me, his voice barely more than a whisper, deep, and dark.

I turned back, freeing myself of his grip, and tried to step away. My back hit the shelves, my injured hand held up to my chest, the other still holding the book so tight my knuckles went white. He once again took my hand, this time holding a cloth to the cut, red slowly seeping into the white cotton. He kept his eyes riveted to the makeshift band-aid. They didn’t seem so blue anymore. He took a deep breath, which sounded almost like a snarl as he let it out. He whispered something in romanian I couldn’t make out, let go, and suddenly, he was gone. Leaving me breathless, confused, holding the now mostly red cotton square to my hand. The edges of the shelf dug into my back. I inhaled sharply, as if I’d been holding my breath the entire time, which could easily have been the case.

I closed the book, and slipped it back onto the shelf. The library was silent, if it weren’t for the faint sound of a crackling fire, in the hearth.

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Taglist : @carydorse @angelicdestieldemon @bloodhon3yx @thewondernanazombie @battocar @moony691 @mjlock

[witcherly16]

BoJack finale, spoilers ahead.

I've written about BoJack few times on this account and so it only seemed fitting to talk about the final series. (Apologies if I ramble, it's late at night and I wanted to write while it was fresh) Firstly the way this season framed the finale was excellent and incredibly fitting for one of the biggest themes, BoJack holding himself accountable. As we watch the rest of the characters growing and evolving, and evidently leaving BoJack behind, we see BoJack's issues with accountability return. His life seems on a good path right up until the midway season break and as all hell breaks loose and his past actions come to haunt him, he is faced with very real repercussions.

I wrote a post about what I thought might be coming for BoJack in S6 (or at least I think I did but naturally the search option on this site is awful so I can't find it) In that post I talked about BoJack seeing repercussions for his actions and that's what we saw, BoJack is hated by most of society. He even looses Hollyhock or we can assume he does from his reaction to her letter. All of the people who were once around BoJack have learned that they have to take a step back from him for their own happiness and every single character experiences growth once they do this. Diane learns how to trust, Princess Caroline learns how to accept help and Todd learns responsibility.

BoJack however, remains stuck in his same patterns and these patterns eventually lead to what many assume to be his death (EP15) We witness a heartfelt rekindling (even if only imagined) between BoJack and Herb, even Sarah Lynn gets to say her peace before exiting in a fantastic psychedelic style performance. There is a touching moment with his father in which his father tells him everything I feel BoJack wished he could have heard from him. Everything seems to set us up for the final moments, the death of BoJack. And yet BoJack fights it, he pushes back against what happens. We see now quite obviously that he is unconscious in the pool. The genius of this moment that has been hinted to us since the start in the opening credits! It seems like this is easily BoJack's last moments, in a final conversation with Diane we witness what we assume to be his death.

After the credits theres a beeping of the hospital machine after the flat line and so we can assume he is not dead? Which launches us into the true final episode (EP16) Here we see a quickened sequence in which BoJack wakes up in a hospital bed, he's sentenced to time in prison for tresspassing on what was no longer his property and he goes on to serve time. Mr Peanutbutter picks him up and takes him to Princess Caroline's wedding, many many moments in this episode mirror what we see in the first season. Mr Peanutbutter's reassurance to BoJack that if he hates it at the wedding that will just go home, may feel familiar... that would be because its almost word for word what he says to Diane about going to BoJack's party in season one.

This happens similarly with other characters, in his moments with Todd on the beach there is a sense of familiar dialogue and Todd even wears what he wore last time BoJack saw him. He shares a dance with Princess Caroline where their conversation is again reminiscent of their conversations in the earlier series' with a beautiful moment of reconciliation and acceptance between them. Of course the grand finale with Diane mirrors beautifully their scene on the roof in season 1, similar dialogue about Diane trying to quit smoking (I believe this is what is said during one of their first conversations) The episode ends with a song, Mr Blue, very fitting for BoJack as a character and for what feels like a farewell between BoJack and Diane for good.

Now to get into theory, of course we can take everything that happens at face value but where would the fun be in that, an interesting quote that I loved is from Todd when he talks about the importance of art not being the meaning itself but what meaning others take from it! Personally in seeing the ending and the de ja vu feel that it had, my theory is that BoJack is in a coma. Many moments and conversations felt like relived memories, but some moments also felt real. I would say that the moments we witnessed are a mix of things that they might be saying to BoJack at his bedside, stories they're telling him about what has happened whilst he sleeps, and his own memories.

The moment with Diane felt very real and I would say that that was Diane's last goodbye to BoJack, her final speech before going back to Texas for good. Other moments (with Princess Caroline, Todd and Mr Peanutbutter) felt lighter, they weren't final moments and more just updates from those who will remain in his life. My guess would be that Mr Peanutbutter is now his main visitor/arranger of his care. A very natural role for him to have, Princess Caroline is likely visiting from time to time as is Todd. If this theory IS true it does leave room for some kind of revival in a way that would be unexpected. However I feel BoJack's story is over for now, and if it does end here it is a fitting place. I'm going to miss this show dearly so perhaps it's just wishful thinking but I'm so grateful to the creators of BoJack, they shined a light on so many real issues and created a honest gritty picture of what hollywood really is. Goodbye BoJack and all the other phenomenal characters! Its been an honour writing about you and I can't wait to see what the show's creators will do next.

[trvelyans-archive]

the distance traveled & that which has yet to be

a commission for the lovely @bluekaddis of their oc lizabeth trevelyan and cullen post-tresspasser !!! angst is my Jam and i was very excited to work on this piece (poor lizzie has been through the ringer) and i’m very pleased with out it turned out. thank you for trusting me with your gal !!! learning more about her was a delight and i hope you enjoy this sweet little moment between your babies <3

cullen/inquisitor, hurt/comfort, 2100 words.

---

The Inquisitor’s quarters remain as they left them.

One of Lizzie’s first bows hangs on a plaque above the fireplace; a couple of her sketches sit dusty in ornate golden frames on her desk, on her bedside tables. It’s just as drafty and cold as Cullen remembers. It’s just as safe.

Yet he hurries to shut the balcony doors anyway while Lizzie sets down their bags on the bed, the mattress protesting loudly as she sits down next to them. When he’s sure the doors are pulled shut, enough that they won’t be thrown open in the wind like they have been in the past, he turns around, wiping his hands on the front of his pants, and smiles at her.

“It’s good to be back, isn’t it?” he says softly as he wanders towards her, late night sun slanting across the stone floor in muted orange stripes. “I was sorely missing our usual daily routine while we were in Orlais…”

Lizzie nods and smiles but says nothing further, brushing her fingers wistfully over her arm. She’s pulled at the knot so that her sleeve hangs limp and open, now, and Cullen still isn’t used to the way that one of her beautiful archer’s hands is missing as she does so.

He loves her no less without it. The Anchor was causing her so much pain and grief at the end that he’s glad it’s gone – it was killing her, after all, but that was obvious to anyone who had looked or spent a few minutes in her presence when it was lashing out. He’s not glad how much grief it causes her still, though. He hates it.

He wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what to say anymore. He’s told her over and over again that she’s strong, that she’s still whole, that she’s still beautiful, and yet, no matter how many times he says it, no matter how tearful he is when he does, she doesn’t believe him.

He loves her just the same and she thinks that he shouldn’t.

She remains silent, and, not knowing what else to say, he suggests they dress for bed. It will be nightfall soon enough, and Lizzie’s been falling asleep earlier and earlier every day since the events of the Winter Council to the point he’s worried sometimes that she’s going to turn in for bed in the middle of the afternoon. Thankfully, she agrees, hastily removing clothes from her pack until she reaches her nightgown and disappearing into her washing room to change. Cullen sighs, stripping down until he’s left in nothing more than a pair of thin brown pants and a white shirt, and waits on the bed for her return.

She climbs beneath the covers as soon as she emerges, and he moves to follow. “Harritt is close to finishing up your new sword, last I heard from him,” Cullen says hesitantly, standing up and moving around to his side of the bed, crawling in after. “I was sure to tell him to make it lightweight so it won’t give you any trouble.”

“Thank you,” she whispers, leaning back against the headboard.

Cullen clears his throat. “Would you still like to learn?” he asks quietly. “If not, I can –“

“Yes,” she says. “I still want to learn.”

“You will,” he replies softly, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead and then deciding against it. “Thankfully, you’ll have a great teacher. Cassandra’s very excited –“

She turns her head to stare at him incredulously, the ghost of a smile on her face.

“I’m kidding, pup,” he laughs under his breath, shuffling closer and wrapping his arm around her waist, loosely enough that she can move if she wants to. “I’ve been looking forward to this, believe it or not. It’ll be fun, just the two of us. And I will be a good teacher, I promise. Don’t let Cassandra tell you otherwise. You’re not one of my recruits, and I’m not going to treat you like one. Okay?”

“Okay,” she murmurs, and the small smile she had vanishes, no trace of it left behind.

He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s tired of this. That sounds selfish and yet he doesn’t stop himself from feeling it anyway. He loves her. He’s always loved her. Why won’t she believe him? She was like this before, and he allowed her to be, he accepted her to be – they’ve both been through enough things in the past to warrant discretion, even on his behalf. But they moved past that. This doesn’t change anything. Why does she think it does?

But she’s settled against the welcoming curve of his arm and that’s something, at least. He moves even closer, his other hand daring beneath the covers to rest on her thigh.

“You’re not hungry?” he asks. “It’s not too late to ask the maid if she’ll bring something to eat –“

“I’m fine,” Lizzie answers, her eyes distant.

Cullen sighs and knows she doesn’t hear it. He tentatively moves the hand around her waist further until it’s splayed open on her stomach, and he feels her stiffen but not move away. That makes him smile. Maybe tonight, in a familiar place, in a familiar position, he’ll bend the rules a little and get away with it. Maybe she’ll move ahead in her healing process.

He just wants to hug her.

Lightly, his fingertips follow the slope of her stomach, from below her bellybutton to the tightest point of her abdomen. She doesn’t stop him, but he can see her curling the sheets of the bed with a white-knuckled grip. He lowers his chin to her shoulder and tilts his forehead against her temple, breathing softly against her neck in an effort to comfort her, a way to tell her ‘I love you’ without her being able to deny it.

He moves over the fabric between her breasts and she gasps, suddenly, pushing him away.

He’s seen the wounds that the anchor left behind a few times, all when the healers were first working on her at the Winter Palace. She hasn’t let him see them since. He thought they had healed, now, scarred over – he didn’t know they still hurt.

“Are you okay?” he breathes as she pulls away from him.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” she replies, reaching up to brush some hair behind her ear, but it’s been recently shortened in a way she’s not used to so it falls back in front of her face immediately, obscuring her from view as her eyes begin flitting across the room and never coming to rest on his face, which is screwed up with worry and red with embarrassment.

“Was it painful? I-I can fetch a salve of some kind -”

“No,” she says. “No, it was fine.”

“Lizzie,” he murmurs.

“I’m just tired,” she says with a forced smile. “We should go to bed.”

“Lizzie.”

His voice cracks and he didn’t mean for it to, but he can’t help it. “Please, talk to me,” he says, shifting so he’s sitting in front of her, holding his hand open on the bed in case she wants to take it. “I love you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You don’t want to know –“

“Yes, I do!” He leans closer, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I love you more than anything, but I don’t know how to love you the way you want me to. In fact, I don’t know if you want me to love you at all.”

“Maybe I don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because!” The word comes out on a croak and tears begin to well in her eyes before she even takes another breath. “I’m… I don’t deserve it.”

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because I’m a fool!” she says. “I… I tricked everyone in the Inquisition to follow me under Solas’ guidance! Where are we now, Cullen? A castle he showed me! And I let him go! And I… I…”

She struggles to swallow amidst the heavy flow of tears.

“I let everyone down,” she breathes. “I let you down.”

“Lizzie –“

“And you don’t want to touch me, Cullen, or be married to me, or see me,” she continues. “You don’t want to see my scars or my arm or my…”

He moves closer. “Lizzie –“

“I’m useless,” she interrupts. “I’m bloody useless. I’m nothing.”

After that, he can’t manage to say anything else. If he does, he’ll start crying, and that will get them nowhere. For a long, long moment, he watches her face and thinks – he strategizes. As a Commander, sometimes that can be what he does best.

She thinks she’s useless, that she’s a failure, but she isn’t. There are so many people all over Ferelden who have been aided by the Inquisition under her orders; she helped rebuild the Templars and gave them a future under a more peaceful rule. She is kind to everyone she meets, more forgiving than some people deserve. She’ll risk her life for the people she loves – her journey through the Eluvians proved that much.

He loves her so much, and he would not have waited by her bedside for three days and three nights until she woke up after her confrontation with Solas, after her ‘failure’, if he didn’t.

He tells her these, slowly, one by one, ensuring she can understand it every time. She lets him take her hand and hold it to his lips, gracing her knuckles with the softest kisses he can manage, the only ones he thinks she’ll allow. The sun disappears beneath the mountains eventually, replaced with a sky full of twinkling stars and a shining silver moon, and he continues, naming the things he loves about her until he runs out breath, and the only reason he does is because she kisses him.

It’s the first time she’s really kissed him since he let her go through the Eluvian. He’s kissed her since, but she hasn’t kissed him first. This time she does. This time she lets it linger.

He leans forward to cup her face, savouring the taste of her lips against his, the tenderness she touches his mouth with. She wraps her arm around his neck and draws her against him, and only when he’s firmly pressed against her does he let his hand fall down towards her breasts again, to the ties in the middle of her shirt that he grabs the end of between his thumb and his forefinger.

“Can I?” he asks as he draws away from her, looking at her in question.

She nods, and his heart soars.

He tugs the string and her collar falls open, revealing spindly webs of dark green scarring, the kind on someone’s skin after they’re struck by lightning. He grits his teeth and closes his mouth so she doesn’t see and so she doesn’t think it’s about her. It’s not about her. It’s about everything that’s hurt her and everything that will. She wouldn’t believe that.

Determined, he grazes his fingertips over the scarring and the soft skin of her breast, soft despite the jagged lines cut through it. With his other hand he pushes her sleeves down her arm, revealing her whole chest to him, painted navy blue in the darkness, the rise and fall of her chest like the gentle ebb and flow of ocean waves on a quiet night, an unusual sight after a month of storms. When he glances up at her face, she’s watching him with rapt attention, and still she doesn’t push him away.

Progress.

He sits up until he can crawl closer, his knees on either side of her legs as he bows his head to brush his mouth over the scars. She winds her arm further around his shoulders and draws him closer until he scarcely has enough room for air but he’s not complaining, really, when she’s the one who spent a month drowning in silence and he’s only now helping her start to float again. He can feel her tears dripping onto his head as he works his way down her body, and it makes him falter.

Her heart is beating madly in her chest and he rests his forehead against it.

“Maker,” he whispers hoarsely, barely managing to hold back tears, “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she says, and he can hear the smile in her voice this time. When he raises his head to kiss her again, it’s still there. It stays throughout the kiss and long after it’s over.

It’s good to be home, even if home is a little different now. It’s still home, and she’s still here, and he still loves her, and it feels like she’s beginning to remember that.

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.9 HALLOWEEN NIGHT/NOVEMBER 1st 5:13 AM

Warren County, Illinois

While that call did not succeed in waking up Kyndra and Zoey, the aforementioned Diego was woken up, however, by his co-worker Quinn, as he lay napping on a tattered sofa in the SuperFuel Deluxe's break room.

“Diego!”

Diego grunted.

“Diego, get up,” Quinn slapped him with a blue rag.

Diego sat up and rubbed his eye.

“Customers.” Quinn said.

Diego blinked awake. The TV was on. A man with fake looking blonde hair stood in front of a map coated with splotches of reds, oranges, and yellows.

“ Lightning strikes have been reported just about everywhere as this severe cell moves through Warren and Carpenter counties. Listen up if you are in the areas of Russelville, Haddonfield, Langdon, Tuckerville...you are under a Severe Thunderstorm Warning and Tornado Watch ‪until 7:45 am‬. Check out this picture someone posted on social media, that's softball sized hail folks...this reported by Zeke, a custodian working late ‪night tonight‬ at Smith's Grove High School, so be careful out there folks.”

Thunder struck and the lights in the shop momentarily dimmed. Customers, Diego thought, in this storm?

Diego stood up and stretched and then grabbed his Mountain Dew he had swiped from the coolers a few hours ago. Stepping into the shop, he sure enough saw some guy was talking to Quinn, standing next to an old-ass station wagon. The kind that had the wood panels on the side. The bottom was eaten away with rust. Diego was surprised the thing was even running at all, and one of the first things he noticed were the California plates. The lifeless remains of a tire lay snaked around a severely dented rim on the front passenger side. Must have hit a curb without even braking, he thought.

Quinn pulled a clipboard off the dark blue tool bench next to him and said, “We actually just had one of these die on us last week and it's back there in the yard. We can replace the tire and the rim and fix up those tie rods and struts in a jiff. You got really got lucky, because otherwise you'd be waiting at least two days for parts.”

The man's eyes grew wide, “Are you serious?! That's a miracle if I ever heard one.”

“I'll say,” Diego chimed in, “What year is this?”

“1989 Ford Country Squire” Jack Tate said proudly.

“Wow,” Diego laughed. “Quinn's right, we literally just got one of these in, the drive train fell apart in our hands, literally fell apart. But it was much more beat up than this.”

“You don't say!?” Jack put his hands on his hips.

“I couldn't help but recognize the California plates,” Diego motioned to the back of the car, dropping to one knee to examine the wheel well.

“Yep,” Jack said, rubbing his chin, “We're from a small town in Northern California, between San Jose and Sacramento. It's called Summer Glen.”

“Bet you don't get much snow there,” Diego said from under the car.

“Nope..but I bet you guys do.”

Diego appeared from under the lopsided tire with a smile, “Buckets,” he replied, “And it wreaks havoc on an undercarriage.”

“I bet it does” Jack replied.

Diego stood up and wiped his hands on his coveralls. “Well, not so much the snow,” he said, “it's the salt they salt the roads with. Eats the bottom of the car all up.”

“So what do you do?” Jack asked.

“Heated car wash,” Diego said, reaching out his hand to Quinn for the clipboard.

“I saw signs for those on the way in, all over the place up here,” Jack said, “But I saw signs but then it looked like empty parking lots.”

Quinn smiled and handed Diego the clipboard, “With steam coming up?”

“I didn't see any steam,” Jack replied.

“They're probably turned off right now.” Diego remarked, looking over the paper on the clipboard.

Quinn whistled, “Whew don't I know it. It's been hotter than a hippo with a hernia.”

“Hmmm,” Jack grunted in agreement, “Climate Change.”

Quinn hissed, “Hogwash! I don't believe that bullshit for a second.”

Jack quickly changed the subject, “Anyways—err--how do car washes help your car in the winter?”

Quinn nodded, “You drive over the jets and they hose off your undercarriage with heated water”

“That's fascinating,” Jack smiled.

“Well,” Diego sighed, “We have the parts already so we'll charge you a $90 restocking fee, that's mostly 'cuz Quinn here has to run out in the rain and slip the rim and tie-rods off the old car.”

“Aww man, that's cold,” Quinn exclaimed.

“Good news is,” Diego continued, “You really didn't tear her up all that much besides that, you knocked some things loose but we can tighten her up. The labor will cost you $400 easy,, being on the weekend now, and then $140 for the tire, $126 for the rim, taxes and disposal and you're still under a grand.”

“That's wonderful,” Jack said, placing his hands back on his hips.

“What brings you out here?” Quinn asked, “Especially in this storm.”

“My wife got a job out here, she ‪starts Monday‬ so we wanted to get out here as quick as we could....drove straight through.” Jack remarked.

“Wow,” Quinn breathed.

“I need those parts Quinn,” Diego remarked, opening the top of the tool bench and pulling out a socket wrench.

“Oh right!” Quinn smiled. He walked over to the far wall and grabbed a yellow rain coat which hung on a peg next to a Calendar, still on the month of October. A model in a bikini presided over the tenth month. “What job did your wife get out here?” He called from across the room.

“She's going to be the new Chief of Medicine at the hospital,” Jack replied, his eyes on Diego as Diego crouched back down toward the car.

“Oh she's gonna replace old man Mixter!” Quinn remarked.

Jack shrugged.

“Hurry Quinn, this guy said he's got places to be,” Diego said from under the car.

“Oh right,” Quinn said and stepped through the side door that led into a small foyer and eventually either out to the front parking lot or back into the lot.

“So your wife's a doctor eh,” Diego's voice came from under the car, “so what do you do?”

“Well I'm a doctor too,” Jack replied.

Diego emerged from the car holding a twisted piece of metal, “Really? What kind?”

“Well I'm a psychiatrist,” Jack said.

Diego slid back under the car, “A shrink huh?” He said, “You opening up an office here or something?”

“Well no,” Jack laughed, “I'm actually going to take some time off and write a book.”

Diego re-emerged with more twisted metal, “Cool,” he said, “What about?”

“Hypnosis,” Jack said matter-of-factly.

Diego cocked his head to one side, “Really? You do that shit?”

“Swear by it,” Jack replied.

There was an awkward moment of silence and then they both laughed.

🎃

Meanwhile, Ophelia Tate had purchased a small and incredibly over-priced pack of baby wipes and was giving herself the best attempt at a bath she could muster inside the surprisingly clean restroom of the SuperFuel Deluxe. After she finished, she sat on top of a toilet and took an opportunity to catch up on social media.

While she sat in the stall reading about “11 Celebrities That You Would Never Assume Were Gay”, her son Damon stepped into the Food Mart, and wiped his perfectly white sneakers on the welcome mat. An angry looking Indian man looked up as the door bells jingled and then went back to fiddling with some electronic device behind the counter. Damon's first thought was, Why does he keep all that bullet proof glass open?

He casually turned to his left, starting down an aisle chock full of every imaginable brand of potato chip or chocolate or fruity candy---browsing but not really browsing, more just wasting time. The aisle came to a dead-end at a wall of coolers full of soda and water and fruit juices. Damon stopped and caught himself staring at a row of YooHoos when he heard what sounded like a snickering to his left.

There was a small hallway to the left of the coolers, veering off next to an ATM machine. He stepped in front of the ATM machine and peered down the hallway, at once spotting the cause of the commotion. Three young boys were standing in the corner next to a door marked: UTILITY, NO TRESSPASSING. One was a freckled redheaded kid with shiny braces dressed as batman, another was a blonde haired blue eyed boy dressed like Darth Vader, and the last was a much younger looking kid with brown hair and brown eyes dressed like some kind of zombie. They were huddled together, their masks all hanging limply around their necks, crowded around a magazine featuring a hot blonde titled RED RABBIT. The cover-girl’s name was apparently Misty Dawn, and according to the cover caption, she was “Back and Ready for More Action”.

The boys caught sight of Damon and looked up startled. The freckled redhead kid's smile disappeared and his eyes grew narrow, “Hey!” He called, “What are you looking at?”

Damon was unfazed. “Looks like a couple of pervs to me,” he said, stepping toward them.

This apparently took them aback because they said nothing in retort.

“Seriously,” Damon said, pointing at the cover, “How old are you guys?”

Blonde Vader who held the magazine in his hand pressed it to his chest as if it were the most valuable thing on the earth and looked up at Damon with his mouth open. Little zombie boy took a step back. But BatFreckle was not amused. “Why don't you go Fuck Off!”

Damon frowned, “That's not very nice language. Is everyone in this town pervs like you?”

“Where are you---” little zombie started in but BatFreckle cut him off.

“Don't you know that Warren County is the home of the Rabbit-in-Red? What hole did you crawl out of freak-show?”

“Rabbit-in-what?” Damon asked and with lightning speed, snatched the magazine from Blonde Vader.

“Hey!” The wannabe Sith Lord exclaimed.

“Rabbit-In-Red Productions is the world's third largest manufacturer of pornographic media dipshit, and the company is based here in Warren County.” BatFreckle spat.

“So it is a county full of pervs,” Damon said, opening the magazine and thumbing through the pages.

“My dad said a local bunch of church folks fought Mr. Martini in court over decency laws so much, the legal fees drove the church out of business.” Blonde Vader said.

“Shi-yeah,” BatFreckle said, “That's why old man Taylor's up in his house on the hill crying like a pussy all the time.”

“Mr. Who?” Damon asked, closing the magaize and handing it back to Blonde Vader.

BatFreckle snatched it instead and flipped to the table of contents, pointing to a ‪small black‬ and white picture of a middle-aged overweight man. “Lou Martini. He's the CEO of Rabbit-in-Red nimrod, he owns half the county and is like, the richest man in Illinois outside of Chicago.”

“Where are you from?” Little zombie found his place to ask.

“My parents and I are moving here from California, we just got in tonight, got a flat tire.” Damon replied.

“California! That's cool!” Blonde Vader exclaimed.

BatFreckle rolled his eyes, “Beat it California!” He said, “We were just checking out Spitz' mom in this month's issue.”

He and Blonde Vader started laughing.

“That's not my mom!” Little zombie, who's name was obviously Spitz, whined.

“Don't lie, you know it's her!” BatFreckle teased.

Blonde Vader turned the page, and the centerfold fell out, revealing the cover-girl Misty Dawn laying on a bed of white fur naked except for a silver belly chain and and black stilettos. A paper fell out as well and fluttered almost magestically to the floor. Damon bent down and picked it up. It was a flier that featured another picture of the model. The headline read:

SEE COVER GIRL

MISTY DAWN

TUE-SUN

OCTOBER AND NOVEMBER

AT THE

RABBIT-IN-RED LOUNGE

IN

HADDONFIELD

“Look Spitz” BatFreckle said in jest, “You can see your mom's show tonight if you want.”

“It's not my mom!” Spitz whined again.

“Why don't you leave him alone?” Damon said.

“Why don't you suck my balls?” BatFreckle snapped.

“Chill out Lonnie!” Blonde Vader slapped BatFreckle's shoulder and then looked at Damon “Lonnie can be a douche sometimes, I'm Richie Marshall, this is Lonnie Elamb, and he's Spitz. Welcome to Haddonfield.”

Lonnie groused and leaned back against the wall, opening up the porn.

“Cool, my name is Damon.”

“How old are you?” Richie asked.

“17, you?”

“I just turned 12, Lonnie is 16 but he's still in 8th grade...he has to go to special classes at the Middle School.” Richie and Spitz cackled.

“I have dyslexia fuck face!” Lonnie said, throwing the RED RABBIT at his friend.

“I'm 8,” Spitz said proudly.

“What are you doing out of the house at this time of night?” Damon asked, picking up the magazine from the floor and handing it back to Richie.

“Lonnie has his drivers license now, and I just snuck out of my house.” Richie said.

“What about you?” Damon asked, turning toward Spitz.

“His mom's a whore so she leaves him alone to go out fucking for quarters!” Lonnie called.

“Stop it Lonnie! She is not!” Spitz cried.

Damon ignored him and Spitz continued, “My mom works late nights at Jamie Lee's Diner, she doesn't get home till morning. My grandma watches me but she fell asleep and I...I snuck out too.”

“We just ate there coming in,” Damon said smiling.

“My mom is Taylor,” Spitz said.

“She was our waitress.” Damon replied.

“His mom's a slut!” Lonnie called.

Spitz started to whine but Damon put an arm around him, “Why do you hang out with this asshole? Is there anything else to do in this place than look at naked chicks?”

“There's an arcade in the driver's lounge, but I don't have any quarters.” Spitz said.

“Come on,” Damon said, “Show me where it is.”

Richie tossed Lonnie the magazine to followed Damon and Spitz. Lonnie caught it, rolling his eyes, he was perfectly happy right there looking at boobs.

🎃

Damon stepped into the shop area of the SuperFuel Deluxe and shook off the rain. There he saw his dad sitting on a folding chair listening, as another man held a lamp under their family station wagon from the Jurassic era. A third man was under the car working. The man holding the lamp was droning on and on about baseball. Damon didn't really care for baseball, or any sports for that matter.

“And then the Sox brought in their reliever, that guy Stroop, and he just completely fell apart. He hit two batters and walked another, and before you knew it the bases were loaded.” Quinn was saying.

Damon walked up to his dad. “Is that so---” Jack replied, but was startled when Damon tapped him on the shoulder.

“What is it son? You're not supposed to be back here.” Jack looked up at Damon.

“There's an arcade inside and I was wondering if you had any change on you?” Damon asked.

Jack leaned to one side and pulled his wallet out, withdrawing a 20 dollar bill. “Can they make change?” He asked.

“There's a change machine,” Damon said flatly, taking the money.

“You can play all of that, what the hell, it's been a long few days,” Jack said smiling.

Damon stuffed the twenty in his front pocket and turned, “Thanks,” he said.

“Tell your mom I'm in here,” Jack called after him.

“Haven't seen her,” Damon said as he walked out, without turning.

Quinn started up again, “So you know that big Dominican for the Cubs, Agu...Agu...something.”

“Aguilar,” Diego called from under the car.

“Yeah, Aguilar,” Quinn corrected himself. “Well he steps up to the plate and first pitch...bam!”

NEXT>>

[perrythetired]

2017 ‘Best Happenings’ Tag

My best friend @petrareads made this tag and tagged me in it :D

“Every year on tumblr I see loads of posts about how sucky the year was - and you know sometimes they’re not wrong but I’m not going to forget the good things either.

Last year I made a post about some of the best things that happened to me that year and I’m going to make another one this year!

And I challenge you all to do the same (yes I’m making it a tag. If this is already a tag then I’m just going to go hide in a corner :)) (also I was inspired by @books-and-cookies post when she asked people to send her the best thing that happened to them that year so thank ya)

here we go!” - Petra

Okay so this year hasn’t exactly been the greatest for me as I moved out of a country that I lived in my whole life and into completely different one. I usually like change but this wasn’t the kind that I was looking for. It’s definitely been hard but this tag is a great way for me to put a positive spin on it :D

Let’s goooooooo!

January -  I spent Christmas and the New Year in Hua Hin! This was the last time I was gonna be at this beach which was really weird for me because I had been going there at least twice a year since I was three. I played my ukulele and read Harry Potter by the beach. I had some super fun late night walks on the beach (because I hate walking on the beach during the day) and I rode around the city on a bike with my parents (we each had separate bikes just to clarify). Oh how I miss Hua Hin :’ )

February - February was mostly spent freaking out over my personal project (which I got a 6 on by the way so HAH @ people who said I wouldn’t make it) but in between all of that, I had tons of fun with my friends and classmates and I’m pretty sure this is the month where I accidentally came out like a million times to so many people. I have no idea why. (side note: I was still closeted)

March - I went on resi with my grade and had heaps of fun! I was lucky enough to share a room with my ENTIRE SQUAD and no one else :D Also for some reason, my anxiety levels skyrocketed and I was a nervous mess but I kept on trying to cover it up. Thanks to my amazing friends, every night turned into a group therapy session and we laughed and we cried and we dozed off and eventually fell asleep together :’) it was beautiful.

April - I went to India! Exploring this totally different culture was so interesting and I learned so much! Obviously, there were a lot of things I saw which greatly saddened me, but I also met and learned about so many people that really gave me hope for not only the parts of India that are suffering but for the future of the world. Also I performed at battle of the bands this month! Say whaaaaaat?! Shy Adriana with stage fright was no longer. I NAILED those bass lines, CRUSHED those vocals and KILLED those harmonies. Oh and I had a shit ton, no wait, a FUCK ton of fun :D

May - Imma be honest, this month was a blur. I vaguely remember screaming at my laptop, chugging coffee at midnight, oh and handing in an incomplete lab and still getting a 7 on it... how the fuck did that happen. ( I didn’t have a conclusion or evaluation... and yes I did ask the teacher to make sure I got the correct mark and he said yea sooooooo... I’m not complaining).

June - This month marked the end of my days as an MYP student and my days as a student at my old school. On the last day, I realized how much I had grown as a person in that school. I started off being alone, constantly feeling unwanted and wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Now I have an amazing group of friends who make me feel like I belong somewhere and who help protect me from my own mind. I realized how many important relationships I had made with so many other students from all ages in my school and how we all helped each other out in different ways. As self-centered as this sounds, I realized that I actually mattered to people, which is something little Adriana would never have believed to be true.

July - July was mostly spent in Canada trying to set up some stuff in our new apartment and figuring out how to get around the city. I did have a lot of fun though! Lots of crying myself to sleep because it was finally hitting me that I was leaving Thailand forever and it would be a while before I saw my friends in person again! But there were still lots of fun times! (By fun times I mean eating and sleeping a lot).

August - This was the month where I was officially moving. It hurt like hell to leave behind the city I grew up in along with all my friends, but it also helped me realize how lucky I am. Living there was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I learned so many things that I wouldn’t learn anywhere else and had experiences that helped shape who I am today. My best memory from this month was having a sleepover with my best friends/saviours for the last time. Never did I ever imagine that I would make such amazing friends, so amazing that it would hurt so much to leave them. I am insanely lucky to have a friendship like that.

September - I had my first day of school which went pretty well! I went to Niagara Falls with my mom, my aunt, and my cousin! We went on the Maid of the Mist and got soaking wet! Then we got tickets to go see a play at Niagara on the Lake where the actors gave me a birthday shoutout mid-scene. :D Oh and I also went to the Terry Fox run that my school held and it was heaps of fun and before that, my new classmates invited me out for a birthday lunch and made my day :)

October - I came out to my mom! It did not go well at all! In fact, it was terrible! But I still did it! And I was incredibly hurt but also incredibly proud of myself because I am a total coward! I refuse to do anything that’s even the slightest bit risky! Yet I still did this! And it feels good to not be in the closet anymore! I also came out to the rest of my friends and that went super well :) And I came out to some of my classmates at school who were incredibly supportive (especially when I told them I was about to come out to my homophobic parents) and they did so many little things that just helped me so much throughout the entire process. They’re such great people :D I also dressed up as Ryuk from Deathnote for Halloween with my friend who dressed up as Misa. Oh and this was also the month where I went to my first BP debate tournament. It wasn’t great, I was super nervous and there was this dude from my grade who I never talk to and he was debating and I had to debate against him and he scares the shit out of me. I’ve never actually talked to him but he seems scary and my friend agrees. So apart from being scared shitless by the debate dude from our grade, getting CRUSHED by opponents and humiliated by judges, we made some awesome friends from other schools and we both suffered together which definitely made us closer.

November - It snowed this month! It was the first time I had seen snow since I was like eight! It was awesome. Okay so it didn’t really snow that much, there were just a couple of flurries but it was super fun. The day after it snowed I got together with my friend group at one of their houses up north and we had so much fun. We watched Tangled while stuffing our faces with ice cream, danced along to BTS (and other Kpop bands’) dance practices and to top it all off we went out for dinner by going through my friend’s backyard, trying not to tumble down a hill full of snow and leaves and branches, walked for a bit through a forest (it wasn’t really a forest, I don’t really know what to call it), tried not to fall while climbing up a hill, probably tresspassed and made our way into a subway to get some sandwiches. I also switched out of physics into history and realized that my TOK, Spanish and History teacher is actually the best person on this planet and has helped me SO MUCH through my rough patches this year.

December - Like Petra said, “December isn’t over yet!” But I did do some pretty cool things. I signed up to do hair and makeup for my school’s play, not really knowing what I was getting myself into (I just wanted CAS points) and I ended up realizing that I’m not half bad at doing makeup and I’m actually pretty good at doing hair. After three nights of doing hair and makeup, on the last night I was invited to the after party! This was the first party I had ever gone to! People got really drunk or really high, I managed to stay the sober and responsible one (along with a bunch of my friends) and I had heaps of fun dancing to Russian rave music while scarfing down a pizza and feeding chips to one of my drunk friends (yes I know that doesn’t really sound like fun but it was funny). And today it snowed! Like a lot! I’ve never ever been in so much snow in my life. It was amazing! So yea.

Despite going through a HUGE change this year, I still had fun :) There were still good things that happened to me. And if I hadn’t moved, I wouldn’t have met all the new amazing people I now have in my life.

I tag: @fantasymirror and @strangertae (hi strangertae! We don’t really know each other but this is a cool tag so yea :D )

[shizucheese]

Hello everyone! Welcome to this week's edition of "Shizu's Red String Board Madness Corner," where I once again embrace the Eye in all it's glory! As always, if you want to see my descent into madness in full all in one place, you can find the weekly reblogged post here. All Hail the All Seeing, All Knowing!

Today is 2/12/2024. Episode 5 came out 4 days ago, I just didn't have time to listen until today.

“Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Episode 3: "Infection (full body" -/- Arboreal [Journal entry]". The Spiral? (Paranoia? Auditory, visual and olfactory hallucinations) The Lonely? The Corruption. The Flesh? (Callbacks to the Flesh Garden from S5)

Common Themes: Hearing the voice of a dead/ missing loved one?

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Episode 5: "Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [Internet blog]". The Eye (Movies. Movie name: "Voyeur" "Must be seen to be believed"...). The Web? (Another website?). (Very reminiscent of Mag 110: Creature Feature.) The "poor old guy" at the theater is totally an Eye avatar, right? Kinda gives me "Simon Fairchild when he was first introduced" vibes.

Agustus: (rare?)

Episode 4: “Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]” The End. The Lonely? The Slaughter.

Letter writer thinks passing on his violin might allow a part of himself to live on in his nephew. Very Jonah Magnus of him.

Music teacher hears “faraway music”, then goes crazy and throws himself out of the carriage and dies. Reminiscent of Mag7 and the Piper? The merchant’s wares include dice (Mag 29?). Got the violin from him (took his blood?). Effect of the violin reminiscent to Grifter’s Bone (Mag 42).

(Oliver Bardwell lol very funny guys)

Non-Talkers (?)

Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?)

Notes and Thoughts:

So, so far both of the Norris statements have involved someone missing a loved one and tentatively some Lonely themes. Both of the Chester statements have been very Eye themed, and both involved websites; possibly some Web action going on as well (if this is actually John, that'd make sense given his history with the Web...). Between that and the fact that while they always start off sounding more robotic, Alex is definitely slipping more into his "Martin" voice and Jonny into his "John" voice as they get further into a statement whenever they read one, I think we can officially safely say at this point that it's not just Alex and Jonny playing Norris and Chester just to fuck with us. That being said: is this actually John and Martin? A portion of them that got trapped while the rest of them is somewhere out there, incomplete? Or is Something Else using their voices?

Idk if I've ever shared this theory on Tumblr before but until I'm told otherwise, I'm going to remain convinced that the Mangus Institute in this world burned down because Martin's Suggestion was Fire.

Is it just me or, when Alice was trying to stop Sam from filling out the forms, was there some level of desperation to her voice? Is her constant dismissal of the paperwork Sam fills out really just because they have so much work to do? Or is there something else going on? What is she hiding?

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

An Interpretation of an Arc

A/N: I am very firm in “while we should be critical of media, sometimes also we should just have fun,” and I do not write this to challenge the common rhetoric I see about a certain someone in Dragon Age. Rather instead, I write this to offer an alternative viewpoint and how I have come to see a certain arc in D/ragon A/ge. I am not going to touch every little thing, but I will give a broad overview. anyway....

Ask me what comes to mind when I think of C/ullen and my mind may drift to the relationship I envision he has with my Inquisitor. I may also think of the wonderful fan art on here, or I may think about how much of a comfort his romance was back in 2016 when I was going through a very rough patch in college. I was so focused in asserting myself in my field that D/ragon A/ge, and by extension, C/ullen’s romance was something I could dive and indulge in, in a sense be my true romantic self. And while perhaps I started writing my longfic originally with an intellectual pursuit, (Can this relationship between a Circle Mage and former templar work?) The bigger truth was that I wanted to be swept away in a grand, emotional romance. In doing so I filled in gaps in canon and better got into C/ullen’s head space, and did some things that perhaps I wanted to see in canon, like an actual confrontation of his past. I wanted him to redeem himself better in my story than what was available in the base game. However, more than a year has passed, and my feelings on his “redemption arc,” have drastically changed. What I thought back then was that the game kind of touched on his redemption arc, but could have done it better. My thoughts now, however, are actually simpler: C/ullen has a recovery arc rather than a redemption arc, and this “essay,” will explain how it functions and why it hits with me more than a flat out redemption arc would have.

For a background, it’s important to mention what C/ullen did in canon that makes him “need” a redemption arc. he said problematic things, but his greatest sin was inaction. (Samson mentions he never played rough with mages if you talk to him in his cell at Skyhold.) We can talk about the evils of inaction all day long and i would probably agree with you, but there is also the added layer of Cullen being a trauma survivor. He had only a quick reprieve from the horrors of Kinloch before he was sent to Meredith, and the woman essentially took advantage of his trauma to fulfill her own ends. I have spoken about Cullen’s trauma before, but that’s not really the focus here. His inaction however, is what is important to bring up, and this will frame the rest of the piece:

So what is redemption anyway?

The dictionary defines redemption as “the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil,” If we go by this definition however, things get dicey. What exactly is needed to be saved? And what does “saved” even mean in our modern, much more secular world? I really dislike this definition when we apply it to redemption arcs, because it implies that there is an endgame in redemption. You screw up, you realize it, (”What have I done?!”)  you do something to make up for it...poof. Done. But I don’t think it’s that simple. Rather instead, redemption does not, and should never, have an endgame. Redemption is always something to work toward. B/lackwall’s arc in Inquisition exemplifies this. (And I will attest he has a better redemption arc than C/ullen.) He knows what he did was wrong, is willing to die for his act, but when the Quiz exonerates him, he strives toward a better future. 

However, T/hom R/ainier ran from his identity and what he did, he did under the guise of B/lackwall, and acted as the man the real B/lackwall thought he was. it was a mask. It is implied he’s only confronting his past just then when he’s in the cell with the Quiz, and that is why emotions are very high in that scene. After his exoneration he continues to help others, even during Tresspasser. He works towards no endgame, he simply knows he must consistently be a better person and not become the man he once was. 

But let’s talk about C/ullen. By the time Inquisition starts, a period of about four years has passed since the battle of Kirkwall. We know from supplemental information he helped rebuild the city. this was how C/assandra spotted him. She recognized his good works and offered him the position of Commander. While the game should do a better job in explaining what exactly he did and how he processed his inaction, if C/ullen helped rebuild, then he did not run from his past. He had to face it head on when he stayed in the city and helped rebuild. There’s arguments to be made that perhaps the Inquisitor should call him out on what he did...or others as well... and sure I might agree, (there’s a scene in my fic where this happens.) but at the end of the day, C/ullen is important to the game, but not really a focus character, and his arc goes elswhere. It’s an unfortunate oversight, but it’s not as though the Inquisitor can’t ever call him out at all. During Perseverance, this is something the Quiz can say: 

Quiz: The man you were. You can’t pretend he never existed. 

Cullen: Not even if I wanted to. But I am here now. I can make that mean something. 

Alternatively, quiz can say that C/ullen can put the past behind him. He says to that: “I can’t forget what happened., but it led me here. I can make that mean something.” So while yes, I think B/lackwall has a better redemption arc overall, simply because we actually see the full arc, there are a couple things in regards to C/ullen. One: because Inquisition begins a good time after K/irkwall, we don’t see C/ullen’s “oh my god, what have I done moment,” and sometimes fandom assumes he didn’t have one. (which dialogue above indicates to me he did.) Two: He still says some kind of problematic things, but is it realistic for him to do a one eighty...even after so long a time has passed and mental health programs don’t exist in Thedas? In my opinion it’s realistic, and to be honest I get his grievances with going after the rebel mages, because it’s not so much that they’re mages, but that they don’t know the status of the mage rebellion, and then when they find out, they find out they’ve aligned with a dangerous foreign power. (this though is a whole other spiel.) Three: he’s not a focus character. Sure this is probably a really shitty lack of foresight on the developer’s parts, but let me point out that V/arric, the only other person besides H/awke who would probably have some issues with C/ullen...doesn’t at all. In fact they seem pretty friendly during Wicked Grace. Four though, and most important, C/ullen has no clear endgame. Even moreso than J/osie or L/eliana, C/ullen pours himself into his work. It’s even joked that he needs a hobby. He acts, when before, his sin was inaction. In a way, this is a form of redemption: acting now when he didn’t before. 

But hey! You said in the beginning that this was a recovery arc! What gives?

While I argue that the overall “theme” of C/ullen’s story is recovery, I would also attest that recovery in itself is a form of redemption, and this all depends on whether or not you as the Inquisitor keep him on lyrium or not. Your choices depending, C/ullen recovers or he spirals and ends up a lot worse. So let’s dive into this now, shall we?

The Blue Vial and it’s Symbolism. 

We learn early on that C/ullen did something very very dangerous and unprecedented months before the Inquisition formally began: quit lyrium. he did something too that could very well kill him. Putting him back on it nets this dialogue: 

I thought if I removed the part that kept me chained I would find my own purpose again.

C/ullen wanted to be a templar to protect people, something he says. Hell, C/ole even says C/ullen is a “good” one, when asking about the templars because he wants to protect. After the Blight he “served out of fear,” and he was “compelled,” as he said, but as mentioned previously he didn’t receive proper help before he was sent to the queen of insanity. However, he ultimately came to the realization that M/eredith did not represent what the order was supposed to stand for. Too little too late? If you believe that I will not argue with you, but the point is, he came to a realization by himself that many would not have. And to seal the deal, he removes himself from the lyrium, removes the chains to “find my own purpose again.” He stopped the lyrium to remember that when he was a boy, it wasn’t about fear. It was protection. Stopping the lyrium is breaking the last hold the order and his past has over him, and his way of going back to protecting people. it is his recovery. Finding a path again, after treading the wrong one. Putting him back on lyrium is forcing him back into his old viewpoints,not allowing him to fully break the chain. If you do this, he does not recover. The chantry scene exemplifies this: either he’s more hopeful, saying a prayer and having a moment of reflection, or he remains bound to the order. Keeping C/ullen off of lyrium allows him to find a life after. 

There’s a poem Tennyson wrote called “Ulysses.” It’s a dramatic monologue delivered by Odyssues (or Ulysses as Tennyson uses his Roman name) sometime after the Odyssey where the man delivers this long epic speech about how bored he is after the Trojan War and his grand adventure, and wants to go out exploring again. to be honest the poem depresses me, because it’s the narrative I see often, even in my own family. It’s the narrative of the soldier who could not adjust to civilian life after the fighting was done. But C/ullen? romanced or not, he does find a life after. he succeeds, and that to me is very hopeful. perhaps it’s not outright said, but the ending slides, romanced or not, certainly indicate he found a life after the fighting. he recovered, and as the slides say he continues to help people and do good work. He continues to work toward a redemption. this is his arc. It is nuanced, symbolic, and while I have some issues, I think it is not only realistic, but effective, and hopeful. He is like many of us, many of us who did wrong. He doesn’t wallow in the past but he doesn’t forget, and he looks forward. that, to me, is very, very important.

Conclusion and Disclaimer 

I’m not going to pretend like I don’t understand why people have grievances with his arc, but I want to stress that this is my interpretation. I kind of didn’t want to publish this but I spent a huge chunk of time writing, so what the hell. All I ask is please, please, pleeeaaasssssssseeeeee do not be rude or vitriolic. I have thought this for a long time, and I finally wished to share. Now I need a nap.

[doedipus]

Let’s Play Dungeons and Dragons: Introduction

So, I think I’m going to go ahead and post the D&D stuff I was talking about earlier. About three months into the campaign, I started keeping notes on each session. I’m thinking of releasing a session or so worth of notes regularly (probably a couple times a week) until I catch up with where we are now, and then just posting updates whenever major story beats wrap up (probably every 1-3 weeks. Sometimes boring things take a long time). Of course, there’s a very obvious problem with that idea: there’s three months of lore between the start of the campaign and when I started taking notes! Thankfully, one of the other players was taking care of that at the time, so I’m going to try to summarize it as best I can.

Let’s get started!

The story began in the town of Valen, a port city located on a peninsula off the southern Sword Coast of Faerun. Three adventurers, Lucas Valeroyant (played by Rich), a recent graduate from the arcane academy of Candlekeep, Ser Graham Broyer (played by Rich’s boyfriend Jake), a trans man who ran away from home and began travelling under his late brother’s name, and Rolen Amastacia (played by Ludovik), a disgraced elven noble and holy man, were summoned from their homelands to a tavern by a mutual friend, Rockseeker. The trio received a mysterious black box from the innkeeper, and were told to deliver it to Rockseeker himself in Waterdeep. The magnificent corvette The Spirit of Fire and her crew awaited them in the harbor, ready to set sail for adventure.

While in town, Lucas met Greg, a dancer at a local bar. Greg robbed him blind and fled. Later that night, some bandits make an attempt on their lives, and were revealed to be assassins. The inn they were staying at was burnt down shortly thereafter, and Graham identified the attackers as the Sisters of the Night, a cult of ne’er do wells bent on causing chaos in Faerun. The party tracks down and captures Greg before fleeing the city on the Spirit.

On the boat, they meet Escrima (Rap), a strange young man from Calimport who was involved with a cult worshipping a lovecraftian creature known only as MOTHER. The party was attacked by some cultists, including villain apparent Sister Elsa. They defeat the attackers handily, though the sister escaped to fight another day. Lucas and Rolen (and Rich and Ludo) began to butt heads frequently, and a rivalry between the two was formed both in and out of character.

In between sessions, Jake posted on /r/transgamers to recruit players, and I joined the gang.

The gang stopped over at Lucas’ alma mater, Candlekeep, to do some research about the Sisters. While there, they ran into Constanza de Catarina (Kim), a tiefling cultist masquerading as a human noblewoman gathering information about the Sisters for her own organization, and Coy (Max), a dragonborn Big Boss expy wandering the world after the dwarven complex he called home was sacked by an angry dragon. The pair quickly hooked up with the party, comparing notes, and running errands for the locals. Along the way, Lucas and Greg formed a close emotional bond. In the countryside, the gang ran into a giant army of drow, orcs, bugbears, gnolls, and Sisters dragging an adult dragon out of its cave and loading it aboard a massive airship. 

The party eventually learned of a secret library below Candlekeep, and set about searching for it. After a dank journey through the partially submerged ruins below the academy, the gang found what they were looking for, and discovered the Sister’s master plan: resurrect their old leader, Overseer Minnia, and summon the demon god Yeenoghu into the material plane. They also found a handful of nifty magic items and a ton of funds, and promptly stole them, because adventurers are bastards.

Among the treasures was a key to a nearby portal to Sigil. Constanza, Graham, Rolen and Escrima accidentally triggered it, and were whisked off to the wild and dangerous city. They met a sapient rat hoard, known as US, and became involved with a murder mystery, meeting Narcovi, a dwarf working for Harmonnium, a guard force in the city, and eventually tracked down and nearly captured Sougad Lawshredder (known within the party as “crazy eyes”), a Believer of the Source who was trying to ascend to godhood by killing lawful folks across the outer planes. Sougad escaped, and Narcovi rewarded the party by helping them locate a portal back home.

Meanwhile, the opening of the portal triggered some sort of alarm in the Candlekeep security, and Coy and Lucas narrowly escaped through the use of a helm of teleportation and some potions of invisibility. They fled Candlekeep, sailing towards the province of Amn, where they believed their missing companions would likely turn up, if they ever did at all. Along the way, the crew encountered a band of slavers and rescued a child slave, Akim. The pair ascended a mountain outside the village of Amswater where a derelict gate was said to stand. Sure enough, the party popped out of the portal shortly after they arrived, and much rejoicing was had.

(Both of those sequences happened in separate sessions due to scheduling snafus. JP, our DM, is a fucking saint for even bothering to set up something like that)

While the gang caught up on the mountain, a company of drow, led by the Sisters sacked Amswater. The party pushed them back, and managed to rescue a couple of villagers from enslavement, though many others were killed in the battle, or carted away to the Underdark. The villagers, having nowhere else to go, boarded the Spirit of Fire with the party. Together, they stopped off at Athkatla, a nearby port city, and Constanza entrusted the refugees to the government there, explaining the situation in the countryside. This earned her the first of several legitimate noble titles that she didn't have to forge.

The adventurers set sail to Waterdeep at last. The sea voyage finally granted them some time to themselves, opportunities to get to know each other, and hone their skills. Graham and Constanza bonded over dragonchess, Escrima attempted to indoctrinate Graham into his cult, and Lucas taught Coy some minor spells in exchange for draconic lessons. Akim bonded with his savior, and essentially became Coy’s adopted child. Constanza established dominance over Escrima by cleaning his filthy ass off. Along the way, the crew captured and sort of tamed a live Wyvern, christened “Lupe,” who the adventurers tried desperately to find some use for besides venom milking.

Eventually, the gang arrived in Waterdeep and met with Rockseeker himself. The man was ostensibly a dwarf, but was quickly discovered to be something more, though the party couldn’t say exactly what. Rockseeker retrieved a parchment from the mysterious box, and explained that contained within it was a magical map that marked the locations of artifacts that could annihilate the Sisters for good... though, the map was encrypted, and the party was going to have to carry the map to Neverwinter, where a talented friend of Rockseeker’s could help them.

While in the city, the gang did much shopping and sleeping around, the latter of which clued them in on a plot to assassinate the Visible Lord of Waterdeep, John Merrow. Supposedly, the ambitious Lord Hier was planning on having him taken care of at an upcoming celebration at his estate. Coincindentally, Rockseeker had some invitations just lying around, so the party had an easy in.

However, the party was still a few days off, and the gang busied themselves with shopping and taking care of small jobs for the locals, as vagrants of their sort are want to do. They uncovered a small vampire infestation, but events conspired such that they never quite got to the bottom of it.

(Scheduling snafus raised their ugly heads again, and Rich ended up doing a solo session)

At this time, Lucas decided to go track down his old mentor from his student days, Gandalf (no relation to the lesser deity from LotR, we swear!) to see if he had any insight on the events that were unfolding, and possibly a way to get Candlekeep to forgive him for his tresspasses against them. He met up with an acquaintance from Candlekeep, Eva (played by Jake), a young lass who had at least one shrine dedicated to Lucas in her home. The two tracked down Gandalf, and, to their horror, discovered that he had become a necromancer, turning most of the town of Proskur into his thralls. The duo narrowly defeated him, though not before Gandalf murdered Eva and blasted a chunk of Lucas’ shoulder off. Eva’s soul found its way into Lucas’ body. Lucas returned to Waterdeep, thoroughly shaken. This is how JP likes to handle multiclassing, by the way.

Since Jake wasn't around to take notes for the session that weekend with the rest of the party, I ended up taking over that day. For whatever reason, Jake basically decided to let me handle the note taking thereafter, so that’s what the rest of this tale is going to look like.

I kind of have a pretty strong emotional connection to this group and campaign. They’re the first group of people I ever met who didn't previously know me as a dude or anything, and because my voice was one of the only things I’d worked on at the time, I was able to just be myself without all the other baggage for a couple hours every week. I didn't really talk about my being trans at all for quite a while, and I’ve been led to believe that I was basically stealth to them for the first couple months of play... though I eventually got more involved with the trans community on reddit, and more open about it in general.

The group was also really my first foray into the LGBT community in general. My impression of LGBT spaces and the people that inhabited them was pretty negative at the time. I just had the idea that everyone was super outgoing and boisterous theater club types, a class of person that I struggle to relate to and get along with. However these folks turned out to be pretty down to earth for the most part, and the realization that there were people like me who I could actually relate to and enjoy being around really opened my eyes.

[shizucheese]

Hello everyone! Welcome to this week's edition of "Shizu's Red String Board Madness Corner," where I once again embrace the Eye in all it's glory! As always, if you want to see the full extent of my descent into madness in full all in one place, you can find the weekly reblogged post here. All Hail the All Seeing, All Knowing!

Today is 2/12/2024. Episode 5 came out 4 days ago, I just didn't have time to listen until today.

“Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Episode 3: "Infection (full body" -/- Arboreal [Journal entry]". The Spiral? (Paranoia? Auditory, visual and olfactory hallucinations) The Lonely? The Corruption. The Flesh? (Callbacks to the Flesh Garden from S5)

Common Themes: Hearing the voice of a dead/ missing loved one?

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Episode 5: "Disappearance (undetermined) -/- Invitation [Internet blog]". The Eye (Movies. Movie name: "Voyeur" "Must be seen to be believed"...). The Web? (Another website?). (Very reminiscent of Mag 110: Creature Feature.) The "poor old guy" at the theater is totally an Eye avatar, right? Kinda gives me "Simon Fairchild when he was first introduced" vibes.

Agustus: (rare?)

Episode 4: “Collection (blood) -/- musical [letter]” The End. The Lonely? The Slaughter.

Letter writer thinks passing on his violin might allow a part of himself to live on in his nephew. Very Jonah Magnus of him.

Music teacher hears “faraway music”, then goes crazy and throws himself out of the carriage and dies. Reminiscent of Mag7 and the Piper? The merchant’s wares include dice (Mag 29?). Got the violin from him (took his blood?). Effect of the violin reminiscent to Grifter’s Bone (Mag 42).

(Oliver Bardwell lol very funny guys)

Non-Talkers (?)

Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?)

Notes and Thoughts:

So, so far both of the Norris statements have involved someone missing a loved one and tentatively some Lonely themes. Both of the Chester statements have been very Eye themed, and both involved websites; possibly some Web action going on as well (if this is actually John, that'd make sense given his history with the Web...). Between that and the fact that while they always start off sounding more robotic, Alex is definitely slipping more into his "Martin" voice and Jonny into his "John" voice as they get further into a statement whenever they read one, I think we can officially safely say at this point that it's not just Alex and Jonny playing Norris and Chester just to fuck with us. That being said: is this actually John and Martin? A portion of them that got trapped while the rest of them is somewhere out there, incomplete? Or is Something Else using their voices?

Idk if I've ever shared this theory on Tumblr before but until I'm told otherwise, I'm going to remain convinced that the Mangus Institute in this world burned down because Martin's Suggestion was Fire.

Is it just me or, when Alice was trying to stop Sam from filling out the forms, was there some level of desperation to her voice? Is her constant dismissal of the paperwork Sam fills out really just because they have so much work to do? Or is there something else going on? What is she hiding?

Welcome to my Red String Board for the Magnus Protocol. Instead of making new posts I'm just going to reblog this and add new thoughts after every episode and update certain theories. Things might be a little bit messy because some of this is a bit stream of conscious but I'll try my best to at least keep the formatting consistent. So let's get this party started. 1/24/23: As of this writing the first two episodes have been released. Theory: As more episodes come out and we get more cases/ statements, is there going to be a pattern to the "Talker" statements and which voice gets used (or if it's a Talker at all?). References to specific subjects, Entities, other themes? What we have right now: “Talkers”

Norris (Voice: Martin?/ Alex)

Episode 1: “Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]”. The Stranger? The End? The Dark? The Lonely? The Flesh? Arthur (Nolan?).

Chester (Voice: John?/ Jonny)

Episode 1: “Transformation (eyes) -/- Tresspass [chat log]”. Magnus Institute, The Eye. (Involves a forum; the Web?).

Agustus: N/A

Non-Talkers (?) Episode 2: "Transformation (full) -/- dysmorphic [video call]". The Spiral? The Flesh. The Stranger. Ink 5oul (avatar/ entity?) Are different characters aligned with certain Entities (working off of known Entities from TMA)

Alice  = Spiral? (Conspiracy Theories). Web? (Is the reason why Sam got his job. Her whole conspiracy theory thing could be way to mess with people/ manipulate them)

Gwen = The Buried (?) (Behind on her work. Ambition?)

Colin = The Slaughter? (Irritability) The Eye? (Something’s listening?)

Sam = The Eye (Hunger for knowledge/ need to know even when warned it could be detrimental).

I have a theory about the butterfly effect/ multiverse theory regarding the manifestation of the Entities and new ones emerging as a result of things being just different enough for it to happen. The full thing + my support for it is long enough to warrant it's own post though so I'm going to make it one and then probably link it here just for record keeping purposes. Edit: My Butterfly effect/ Multiverse Entity Theory