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enbydindjarin · 2 years ago

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Tess x fem reader

Celebrating the holidays durin the apocalypse

Holiday spirit

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

A/N- this is so soft. She’s so soft. I was working maybe 2 years or so after that flashback from episode 3. She’s not as hardened as present day timeline in the show, she’s a soft little ball of sunshine with her ball of sunshine gf. I only proofread this once.

Warnings- none. It’s tooth rotting fluff

Word count: 3.2k

Masterlist - requests open

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

The holidays didn’t really mean much to anyone anymore. At first people had tried. Some desperate attempt to make the dire reality of things seem not so bad for a while, clutching at any remaining hope of things being normal again one day. Some people tried to keep traditions going, tried to get some kind of Christmas cheer. But a majority didn’t care. Most had little to no family left to even celebrate with. And others just found it pointless now. Because what was worth celebrating when the entire world had completely fallen apart?

But you on the other hand? You loved it.

Thankfully Tess indulged you. Even if it was with a slightly grumpy face from time to time. She’d come to realise that living with you meant she’d have to get used to it. And quite frankly she’d do anything if it meant you’d be happy.

You liked finding excuses to be happy. Some way to just pretend things were normal, that you weren’t living in a shitty apartment. A place where you could only run the taps for 5 minutes each day before they shut off and no hot water was granted. Where food was rationed. Where you were a smuggler. A criminal. Where you could die any second of the damned day.

It offered you a momentary escape.

A day that you could play pretend. That you could go home to your girlfriend and daydream about a big Christmas meal, piles of presents, flashing lights and a bubble Bath filled with festive scented soaps.

Pretending was bad, Tess had told you before. People had gone mad pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t. But you decided one day a year was okay. And she let you have it.

Though this year your Christmas spirit was dwindling. It was hard to be excited for a holiday that basically didn’t exist anymore, especially when you were out in the snow hauling boxes off of FEDRA trucks all day. And the fact that Tess had been away for two days with Joel, trading with Bill and Frank to get shit to sell.

She always refused to let you go with her. It was a miracle she even let you sell if you were honest. She was far too over protective. She always faced the dilemma before she left of risking taking you with her, but also not liking when she had to leave you alone. But she decided you were much safer inside the walls than outside of them. So she told you to stay put.

You’d convince her to take you one day. Especially as you’d heard Frank ask after you multiple times over their radio conversations now, always telling Tess to bring you along. You’d wear her down soon enough.

“ alright! Done for the day! Get out of here. Curfews in an hour “ you stacked the last box of supplies with a huff, the FEDRA officer keeping a watch on your work detail telling you all you were done for the day. You wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, exhausted from hauling heavy boxes for hours.

Trucks had been coming in all day, boxes of supplies that moved between the QZs. You hated being assigned to that post, they assigned more officers to make sure people weren’t dipping their hands into the boxes for themselves. You didn’t like FEDRA in general, but being watched so closely all day was enough to put you on edge.

But at least you weren’t on body disposal you supposed. No job was as bad as that. You’d even take the sewer maintenance hours over taking a shift on body disposal. Joel took the job with so much ease it mildly concerned you. I’m a world where death was all around it was hard not to get used to it. But you didn’t think you’d ever be that at ease.

It started snowing as you headed to collect your ration cards, it made your mind drift to Christmas again. It never snowed back home, but Boston seemed to get a decent amount. You’d always dreamed of one of those movie white Christmases as a kid, it was just your luck that you’d get them when Christmas was barely a thing anymore.

You pulled your jacket tighter around yourself as you collected your cards and headed for your apartment. The snow also made you miss Tess more. She’d only been gone three days but it felt like two weeks. And on cold evenings all you wanted to do was crawl under your shitty blanket in bed and curl up with her for the night. You hoped she’d be back soon. She’d said three days max, so she should be home no later than the morning.

But you’d miss her even if she was gone an hour. So three days was hard. She was all you had. Well you guessed Joel too. But Tess was the closest thing you had to family now. You felt lonely when she was gone. The tiny apartment suddenly felt too big for one person, you couldn’t get to sleep without her arms looped around your waist.

You shoved your hands into your pockets, sniffling as your nose turned numb in the cold. You got the feeling you had some seasonal bug brewing in your sinuses, your nose growing ever stuffier throughout the day. You almost didnt mind though, if you were sick it’d give Tess an excuse to stay home with you for a few days.

And you deserved to have her doting on you for a while after making you stay back, sick or not.

By the time you stepped into your apartment building the snow was coming down in a steady flurry, snowflakes sticking to your eyelashes and hair, and a chill that felt as though it had permeated right through to your bones.

You trudged your way up to the third floor, tired and cold, ready to spend your evening making an extensive list on what Tess could do to make things up to you. Maybe drink yourself to sleep and wait to be woken up by her in the morning.

Only to be stopped in your tracks at the end of the hall.

Because there she was. Leaning back against the front door, arms folded and tapping her fingers in some odd rhythm.

Your annoyance and frustration vanished almost instantly.

She seemed to sense your presence at the top of the stairs and turned to look at you, a smile blooming on her face.

“ you took your fuckin time “ you couldn’t contain yourself, running down the corridor and straight into her waiting arms. Knocking into her with so much force she had to take a step back to steady herself, laughing as her arms wrapped around you “ missed me then? “

“ so much “ you sighed, pressing your face into her neck and relaxing yourself with the familiar scent of the soaps she always smuggled you back from Lincoln. The stuff FEDRA issued out smelt of nothing, it made you question if it really even was soap. But Tess always kept you both stocked with the nicer stuff. Vanilla and cherry and bubblegum. Whatever she could trade for with Bill and Frank.

“ Jesus fuck your nose is cold “ she said, her neck scrunching as your nose brushed against her skin.

“ it’s snowing what do you expect. Let’s go in I wanna get warm and I wanna know what you got up to “ you let yourself out of her embrace and reached for the door handle.

“ wait “ she said and planted herself between you and the door, not letting you turn the handle. You gave her a confused look and she smiled “ I have a surprise for you “ your face lit up in excitement and your mind ran with what it could possibly be.

“ what is it? Can I eat it? Can I wear it? Is it a new book? “

“ if I told you it’s not a fucking surprise is it “ she said with a laugh, a smile on her face that you were seeing less and less as the years went on. But you always managed to pull it out of her with ease “ now close your eyes “

“ really? Come on just let me see “ you said and reached for the handle again. She grabbed your hand before you could though, an eyebrow raised.

“ close. your. eyes “ you sighed but did as she said, practically bouncing on the spot with excitement. She usually brought you something nice back from her runs, but she never went to the theatrics of making you close your eyes. So you knew it had to be something good. Something special “ and keep them closed. I know what you’re fucking like. No peeking “ you smiled as you heard the door open and she moved behind you, hands over your eyes as she guided you inside.

“ you have no trust in me at all “

“ no, you’re just the most impatient woman I’ve ever come across. I’m taking precautions “ she left momentarily to shut the door, her keys clattering as she dropped them on the counter.

“ okay “ she said softly, her lips close to your ear “ when I say you can, open your eyes “ you nodded, excited to actually see what it was.

“ can I open now? “ you said after barely a second of waiting.

“ you have the patience of a 4 year old”

“ Tess “ you whined, only further proving her point.

“ oh- just. Wait. One second “ you didn’t know if she’d done it on purpose just to make you wait longer or not, you heard her fiddling around with something before she was back behind you again. She pressed her chest to your back, arms slinking around your waist, a gentle kiss falling onto your cheek before she spoke softly by your ear “ alright. Open your eyes “

You opened your eyes and gasped, your hand flying to your mouth in shock.

She had decorated your apartment for Christmas.

A short string of lights tacked on one wall, a seemingly handmade paper chain in green and red on the other. Tinsel and even a tiny tabletop Christmas tree to finish it off. All of that paired with the snow now coming down in a heavy flurry outside, was enough to make you forget where you were. Forgetting that outside the windows was a wall keeping you in the city, armed officers and somewhere past the walls people running around no longer in control of their minds.

Nothing but… peace.

“ oh Tess “ your eyes flooded with tears, complete and utter adoration for the woman behind you overwhelming you. The woman that had said she found Christmas pointless. That didn’t understand the hype. Yet had decorated your space because you loved Christmas. You liked the tinsel and the lights and the tree. The cheer. The safety. The love.

“ I do okay?“ she asked quietly. You turned around in her arms and held her face carefully in your hands. Her face twisted into concern at your tears and you quickly smiled to reassure her you weren’t even close to being sad. Not even remotely.

“ Tess “ she wiped away your tears with the backs of her fingers, tucking your hair away from your face “ it’s fuckin amazing “ her face softened, brow no longer furrowed and eyes swimming with adoration for you “ how’d you get all this stuff?”

“ Bill and Frank. Well. Mostly Frank. There’s a big homeware store in their town, he managed to find some stuff. And He made the garland thing “ she said nodding to the paper chain hanging on the wall “ he could only give me one lot of batteries for those light though without Bill noticing so. I don’t know how long they’re gonna last… Joel teased the shit out of me carrying back the bag filled with all this. The dick “ you laughed and could imagine the grumpy look on her face as she trudged back up to the QZ, Joel teasing her for being so sappy as to decorate for Christmas.

According to Tess Joel had teased her about you from the first day you’d met. Even more so as the years went on and Tess gained a reputation for herself, proving herself as someone tough. Brave. A woman that people were beginning to fear. Yet was as soft as the day he had met her when it came to you.

“ I can’t believe you did this “ she shrugged as if it were nothing, eyes watching you intently in the way she always did, always trying to read exactly what you were feeling.

“ you like Christmas “ she said it as if it were plainly obvious. That it was silly to assume she wouldn’t risk getting shot by leaving the QZ, trading things that you could sell or use to keep you alive, to get you a Christmas tree “ and you’ve been… down. Lately “

Any normal person would have traded for a new book, or a new shirt to cheer someone up these days. But not Tess. She’d always go above and beyond for you. She had noticed you were sad and had gone to the extreme to cheer you up “ oh and I don’t know if you noticed but… “ she nodded back towards the door and you couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face. A slightly faded, plastic bunch of mistletoe was stuck on the doorframe. It was hung slightly wonky with a strip of black electrical tape.

“ you. Are so fucking sappy when you want to be “ you said with a giggle, shaking your head.

“ yeah and if you tell a single person about it I’ll smother you in your sleep “ she said, trying and failing to suppress a smile.

“ aww there she is. Romantic as ever “ you teased, slipping your hand to the nape of her neck and pulling her in. You barely even managed to kiss her at first, both of you smiling far too much. But you melted into her, making up for the last few days you’d had to spend waking up alone.

Kissing her was always good, there was no denying that. You’d never met anyone that could make you melt the way she could. There was something about the way she could make your knees weak just with the light pressure of her fingertips guiding you, her lips so soft and subtle against your own. You were an absolute goner.

“ hey don’t get too carried away. I got something else for you “ she said with a small laugh, reluctantly pulling away from you. You opened your mouth to start guessing but she placed a finger to your lips “ ah. No. Don’t even bother guessing. Go sit down I’ll get it “ she spun you round by your shoulders and pushed you lightly towards the couch.

You walked over to the couch, hand trailing over the fairy lights hanging on the wall. They made the place seem a little more warm. Homely. You wondered if you’d be able to find someone trading batteries on the black market.

You sat down and watched her rummage around in her backpack before heading over to you with something wrapped up in brown paper.

“ technically it’s a re gift. Frank gave it to me. And told me you’d like it more. So... Merry Christmas “ you carefully opened the paper to reveal one of Franks paintings. You’d always been in complete awe of Franks work every time Tess brought you something back from one of her visits. He’d sent her back with numerous little painted postcards, always telling her to give them to you.

She clearly talked about you a lot whenever she went, you always wondered exactly what she said about you.

The painting in your hands was one of you and Tess.

“ he captured you good huh? He only had the one picture to go off but I think it looks good “ Tess kept a picture of you in her pocket wherever she went. A couple years back you’d traded an ungodly amount of stuff for an old Polaroid camera someone was selling on one of your trips to the back alleys of the QZ to sell your own shit. Only half the film actually worked and you’d managed to get 4 pictures out of it and that’s all.

Tess had hated it at first but had grown into liking the idea when she realised she could now have a photo of just you for herself. So she’d made you smile, snapped the picture and kept the picture in her pocket ever since.

“ it’s perfect “ you said through your tears, standing up and tacking it onto the wall beside the three other Polaroids the camera had given you. And the other little paintings from Frank.

She got up and stood behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist.

“ I’m glad you like it. I would’ve taken that picture of us but you’d have noticed it was missing. So he just made something up “ your eyes flicked between the painting to the photo and smiled.

It was one of those moments you could pretend again. Pretend that this shitty apartment was a real home. Where you hung pictures of you and your girlfriend, your friends. Where you decorated for Christmas.

“ I don’t have anything for you “ you said through your tears, turning in her arms before you made yourself cry even harder. She gave you a soft smile, thumbs brushing over your cheeks to swipe away the tears.

“ I’ve got you. I’m good “

“ that was so cheesy “ you said through a laugh, leaning forward to kiss her again.

“ do you want the last past of your Christmas present? “ she mumbled against your lips and you almost wanted to be angry with her, because you didn’t feel so deserving of so many incredible things

“ there’s more? “ she reached behind her, pulling something out from the back pocket of her jeans “ a cassette? “

“ you don’t wanna know the shit I had to trade Bill for this. He was in a really bad mood and this was his mothers or something I don’t fuckin know “ she took your hand and walked over to the radio, placing the cassette in and pressing play “ better work “ she mumbled after it stayed silent for a few moments.

Then the almost hauntingly beautiful voice of Bing Crosby filtered through the speaker, white Christmas softly filling the apartment. It was a little crackly, maybe because it was so old or because the radio was a bit shit. But it didn’t matter. It was Christmas music.

You didn’t even know what to say to her. You just wrapped your arms around her and leant your head against her chest, basking in the what felt like your first real slice of peace in forever.

You were home. You were safe. You were in your nice apartment in a bustling city, it was Christmas. The world was filled with love and joy.

You could pretend.

“ thank you “ you whispered “ thank you for everything “ she dropped a kiss to the top of your head, rubbing your back softly as you swayed gently to the music “ merry Christmas “ you whispered “ thank you for being the greatest gift I could ever receive in this shitty fucking world “

“ now who’s the sappy one? “ you could hear the smile in her voice as Frank Sinatra now played on the radio. And as much as the world was falling apart. For the first time in 11 years it actually felt like Christmas.

#this is the softest thing I’ve ever read #I’m actually almost in tears from how cute it is #10000/10 #this is amazinggggggg #tess x reader #tess my beloved #fic recs #🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

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