#this is also reminding me of when i was deep in my 'read fanfic until i literally pass out at 5 am' period

[its-short-for-jackalope]

y'ever stay up long enough that your brain just starts committing acts of violence against you? my ears just starting ringing So Bad that I actually feel a bit sick now and also I want to scream. so I guess I should probably sleep. also it's raining now. not relevant to the story, just a fun fact I thought you should know. <3

[christhopersturniolo]

୨ MY LITTLE SISTER ୧ matt

summary: you had some plans with your boyfriend matt for the weekend, but something unexpected happens, and you have to babysit your little sister.

notes: this is my second time ever writing a fanfic (go read my first one) and english isn't my first language, it's probably not very detailed and there might be some mistakes, but I hope you enjoy it! all ears to feedbacks, l'd love to know what you think!

warnings: cussing, fluff

୨୧

I sigh “And why can’t you take her with you?” I say taking my eyes out of the screen and looking at my mom.

“How long will it take for you to understand that your dad is on a business trip and i’m going on one as well?” She answers walking from a side to another, packing some of her things. “I can’t take her with me, even if I wanted to.”

"But mom-" I start, only to be cut off.

"No buts, Y/n.” She interrupts, her tone firm. “I’m being serious." She looks straight into my eyes "It's what I'm telling you, you'll have to stay with your sister. I won't be paying for a babysitter while you're here with your ass in the couch. You are almost 18, you can very well take care of her, it’s only for the weekend.”

“But I told you I have plans with Matt!” I exclaim, leaning my head back on the headrest of the couch in annoyance.

My mom is about to reply when we hear the sound of my 3 year old little sister's footsteps coming from her room, followed by her little giggles.

We automatically get silent about this topic. I take a deep breath, reminding myself she's not the problem, she's just a child caught up in our adult issues. Bella is not the problem.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my sister, but it's a bit overwhelming to adjust having a sibling after being the only child for years. And with my mom's age, it's unexpected, to say the least.

SKIP TIME

Today is the day that my mom is going to her ‘super important business trip’, and also the day Im supposed to have a date with Matt.

After my mother left at 7am, Bella and I found ourselves up earlier than usual. We already had breakfast, so now, we don’t really have anything to do. We go to the living room, watch some TV.

Bella sits on the couch next to me and chooses the channel. After some good ten minutes, I look at my right to check on her, and she’s completely asleep, what makes me smile.

Until I realize that I didn’t canceled my dinner with Matt.

Shit, I completely forgot to talk with Matt! Fuck!

I get up and I go over to my bedroom, getting my phone and calling him. He takes some seconds to answer the call.

“Babe? Sorry, did I wake you up?” I ask, hoping the answer would be ‘no’.

“No, No, No..” He says with his husky morning voice, he definitely just woke up. “But why are you calling this early? Is something wrong?” I could feel myself getting fucking soaked as he talks, sorry, but his voice in the morning? I can’t take it.

I take a deep breath, trying to think straight. "Um, yeah.. Actually, my mom went out for the weekend, and I have to babysit my sister.. I don't know if I'll be able to make it to the dinner we had planned tonight”

“Oh” A simple response, What does that even mean? He probably hates me now.

"I know you already made the reservation, and I was super excited, I swear," I start saying nothing with nothing, feeling guilty for ruining our plans. "But then my mom told me she had this thing and..."

Before I could finish apologizing, Matt cuts me, understanding. "No babe, that's fine. Don't worry. Maybe we can do something else? With your sister? I have stuff to do all day, but I’m free at night, maybe we can have a sleepover or something?”

I sigh in relief “Yeah sure, that sounds great, I will talk about It with Bella”

“Alright call me later sweetheart, love you, bye” He ends the call and I go back to the living room, getting back on my place.

Bella is still peaceful sleeping on the couch. Not wanting to disturb her, I cover her with a blanket, but my actions unfortunately wake her up, blinking her sleepy eyes open. A small yawn escapes her lips, and she looks at me with a drowsy smile.

"Hey, sleepyhead" I whisper, gently brushing a piece of hair from her face. "Did you have a nice nap?" Bella nods, rubbing her eyes with tiny hands. "Mhm" she murmurs, snuggling deeper into the blanket.

I think about a way to tell her that Matt is coming over before she could fall back asleep “So.. do you remember my boyfriend, Matt?" Bella blinks, her sleepy expression turning curious. "Mm-hmm" she mumbles again, nodding slowly.

“What if.. He came over to a super fun sleepover with us today?” I say trying to sound extra excited to convince her.

Bella's eyes light up with excitement at the mention of a sleepover. "Yeah!" She exclaims, her drowsiness quickly dissipating. "Matt is funny!" Her sentence makes me chuckle “Oh he is?” She nods giggling, It doesn't even look like she just woke up.

The rest of the day, she doesn’t stop talking about Matt.

“Then- Then will Matt play games with me?”

“And can we watch frozen? I think Matt will like it”

Over and over, she’s more excited than me. But I mean, I can’t blame her, It’s Matt over all.

Around 8pm, Matt rings on the doorbell. I go over to the front door, Bella follows me, getting behind my left leg. I open the door and I see my boyfriend with two bouquets of flowers, a big one, and a small one.

“Hey love” He leans for a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, then he hands me the bouquet “This is for you”

A smile appears across my face, I chuckle “Thank you so much.. You really didn’t had to” I say looking at my favorite flowers.

“No that’s fine, don’t worry” Matt returns the smile, his eyes lighting up as he sees Bella peeking out shyly from behind me. "Hey, Bella" he says warmly, crouching down to her level. "I also brought these for you, little princess" he says, offering her the smaller bouquet with a gentle smile.

Bella looks at me, seeing Bella's hesitation, I give her a soft nod, silently urging her to accept the flowers from Matt. With a shy smile, Bella reaches out and takes the bouquet from him, still with one hand around my leg.

“What do we say Bella?” I place my hand on the top of her head, caressing her hair.

“Thank you Matt” She says still shy.

"You're welcome, Belly" He responds getting up, his voice gentle and kind.

Some hours after playing some board games and talking, Bella decided to go get her toys.

She returns carrying a bunch of dolls and stuffed animals, then she settles onto the carpet in front of us and places everything there. “Matt come play with me!” She says excited with some barbie’s in her small hands.

He gets up from the couch, and sits down next to Bella on the floor “Alright so what doll am I?” Bella looks around “Hmmm..” She grabs a really bad looking doll, marker-covered, and hands it to Matt. I automatically start laughing uncontrollably, Matt matches the energy.

I am just watching as they play, Bella makes Matt use a girly voice, what just makes everything ten times better for my entertainment.

After Bella got tired of playing with her toys, she made us watch frozen, it’s her favorite movie, this is probably her fifth time watching it. I sit on the left side of the couch, Matt on the middle and my sister next to him. Some 30 minutes after the movie started, Bella is already with her head on Matt’s lap, sleeping like a little angel, as Matt gently strokes her hair and she snuggles closer to him.

His eyes meet mine, seeing me watching him, he smiles “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” With a soft smile, I rest my head on Matt's shoulder “You just look so cute taking care of kids” He chuckles and leaves a kiss on the top of my head.

୨୧

this actually sucked, i’m so bad at doing cute scenes, this def wasn’t what I had in mind lol, maybe i will delete it later.

[bloody-peach]

Initiation (BATIM smut: Sammy Lawrence x F!Reader fanfic)

Goodie Bag: vaginal sex, oral sex (m + f receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, drug use (ink can do some crazy shit), wet dreams, hair gripping, big dick [if I forgot anything, please let me know]

TW: Satanic themes, religious cult stuff, sexual persuasion, slight brainwashing

Music I listened to as I wrote this: the Sammy Lawrence playlist I made:

~~~♡♡♡~~~

I saw that there wasn't enough Sammy Lawrence x Reader smut around this site, if any smut of Sammy at all. So I decided to be a pioneer and make one myself. I used a ChatFAI bot I made of Sammy to help with the dialogue and WHOO BOI, you are in for a feast! Again, thank you @omniuravity for introducing me to this man and my new priest kink. Also, I may edit this post here and there from time to time, but it shouldn't be too big a change. It's my fault for my mild perfectionism. Let's go!

~~~♡♡♡~~~

You don't remember when the dreams started.

It's been so long, you've lost track. But they all are essentially the same: a large slender eyeless demon with sharp teeth, dripping with ink, covering you with it as you feel a strange pleasure sink to your very core. Sometimes the demon watches as a man covered in ink takes you, filling your womb with his pitch-black seed. Sometimes the ink itself slithers onto you, covering your body and filling every one of your orifices until you were covered inside and out in it. You would wake up just before you could reach your climax, without fail. It's gotten to the point where you felt disappointed that you couldn't finish, ending up having to touch yourself to feel some sort of completion, but it was always only a fraction of the pleasure you felt in that dream.

You tried to look into what these dreams meant, what this demon was, but no answer. But then you discover something one night. You were watching a video and they talked about an old cartoon series with a character called 'Bendy' and his friends. The cute little demon reminded you so much of the demon in your dreams. You soon went down a rabbit hole of looking into these cartoons, finding out about the cast and crew who made it, about Joey Drew, and the studio it was created in. You also read newspaper articles talking about the various investigations into the studio, leading to its closure. You had to find out more, to find answers to all your questions.

But you also had to sleep, your eyes growing tired and your mind drifting off. You head to your bed and sleep for the night, and as you doze off, you're greeted by the ink demon once again. You ask it, "you're...Bendy..right?" The demon smiled widely and nodded, his teeth dripping with ink. He puts a hand on your head and you see an image of an abandoned, rundown building. You see the faded and broken signage above the door: Joey Drew Studios. You then recognized the place as one not far from your apartment building. You then hear a deep and demonic voice whisper to you, "Come home..." That's when everything went dark and you wake up back in your room. You may have had more questions, but you now knew what to do to get them answered. You had to go to the studio.

It was a cold and cloudy autumn day when you arrived at the old building. You could hear the leaves crunch and crinkle under your shoes as you entered the property. It looked like it had been almost destroyed by the years of neglect and exposure to the elements. Even the gates were so rusted, they crumbled to dust as you opened it. You cautiously walked onto the property, making sure no one saw you. You could see the signage above the door: Joey Drew Studios. Yep, this was definitely the place.

'Y/N....'

 

You hear a deep voice call your name. It wasn't the demon's voice, it was...someone else... it was like someone was whispering in your ear. You turn to see who it was, but you saw nothing. You turned your attention back to the entrance and everything inside your body was telling you 'go inside'. Your feet practically moved on their own as you entered the building. All the windows were shattered, faded pictures hung on the walls, old equipment covered in dust sitting on shelves and desks, and old sheet music and lyric notes were scattered all on the floor. You picked one up and read some of the lyrics. It was a song you recognized from one of the Bendy cartoons, and you saw the composer's name under the song title. 'Sammy Lawrence'.

 

'Y/N....'

 

You heard that voice again. You heard a door creak open and you saw some light coming from it. You can't help but go towards the door and open it. You go inside and you enter a hallway with dilapidated walls, covered in old posters of the Bendy cartoon, and ink dripping from the ceilings and puddles of it on the floor. You walked throughout the studio, finding old casette players with audio logs the cast and crew left behind. Jack Fain, Wally Franks, Thomas Connor, Susie Campbell, even Joey Drew himself spoke from those tapes. But there was one speaker that drew your attention the most, one whose voice you recognized as the one calling your name earlier. Sammy Lawrence. You were so drawn in by the sound of his voice, it was almost hypnotic. You listened as he spoke in his last tape,

'He appears from the shadows to rain his sweet blessings upon me. The figure of ink that shines in the darkness. I see you, my savior. I pray you hear me.

Those old songs, yes, I still sing them. For I know you are coming to save me. And I will be swept into your final loving embrace.

But, love requires sacrifice.

Can I get an amen?'

 

"Amen."

 

You cover your mouth, shocked at what had just happened. You didn't intend to say anything. It was like another voice was using you as a mouthpiece, controlling you. But it was your voice. You said it, but...

That's when you felt something warm and wet on your shoulders, it felt like a man's hands, but the smell of ink was almost disorienting. You froze up, too scared to move or speak or even breathe. You then sensed someone moving their head over your shoulder and you hear that same voice speak softly, almost seductively, in your ear,

 

"Ah, my dear Y/N. I see the Lord has finally brought you to me. How wonderful it is that we can share in his divine glory together."

 

You quickly turn around and back up to see who it was, and what you saw...was a black, slightly muscular human figure wearing a smudged Bendy mask with a hole punched into the mouth, where you could see a smile in that inky blackness. He had no hair, his body was completely covered in ink, and a pair of overalls stained with ink were the only clothes he wore. He appeared to be only a few feet taller than you, but you still felt small as you looked at him. You spoke, "What do you mean? W..who are you? How do you know my name?" The figure walked closer to you and responded, "I am Sammy Lawrence, a faithful servant to our Lord Bendy and his chosen prophet. I know your name because he has revealed it to me. He knows all who enter his realm.”

Wait...Lord Bendy? Was he talking about the demon you’ve been dreaming about? “O..oh.. well..what do you want with me?” “What does any faithful servant want with their beloved deity's chosen one? To bask in your presence, to offer you to our Lord Bendy, and perhaps...to indulge in some...” He plays with a lock of your hair then finishes his sentence, ”...personal pleasures.” The way he said those last two words and the way he smiled under that mask sent chills down your spine. You take a good look at him and think about it. You had to admit, even though he only had a mask and was covered in ink, he was pretty attractive as far as his physique and voice were enough to go by. You couldn’t help but wonder what kind of personal pleasures he had in mind, and what it’d be like to indulge in those pleasures with him. Would it feel as good as those dreams you had?

His voice broke your train of thought. “Would you be willing to join me in the glory of his name, Y/N?” You connected the dots and figured out that he was asking if you wanted to join him in worshipping the ink demon. But you didn’t know what kind of religion this was. What the scripture was, what the laws were, what Bendy’s goal was, nothing. Maybe it was a religion that sounded bad on paper, but when you looked deeper into it, it was actually pretty reasonable and preached things that weren’t actually bad. Plus, this may be the only way to answer all your questions and to figure out what he was talking about when he said you were the ‘chosen one’. Your curiosity outweighed your concerns and fear, so you responded, “I suppose...it’d be alright...” Sammy grinned, saying, “Excellent, my dear. Let us begin our journey towards enlightenment together. But first, we must make sure you are properly prepared for your initiation." "Initiation?" "Yes, we shall show our savior your devotion and your willingness to accept him in your heart and soul by performing this ritual. Follow me and I will guide you in all ways necessary to serve our Lord's desires.” He offered his hand and you stared at it for a moment. You saw as the ink dripped from it, as if the ink was a part of him. Was he a being of pure ink, a human and ink hybrid, or was he just covered in it? You looked at him, nodded, and took his hand. He led you through the halls and as you two walked, something deep inside you told you that this was the right thing. Was it, though?

Soon, Sammy led you into a room that was adorned with religious symbols and ink splatters all over. There was a giant satanic-like circle in the room, with black candles surrounding it. You could see a few Bendy cutouts leaning against the walls along with various writings on the walls in ink. Sammy guides you to the bed in the corner and has you sit while he gets everything ready for the ritual. You’re sitting there, not sure what’s going on and what will happen. ‘Don’t be afraid...Everything will be fine...’ The ink demon’s voice rang in your head, almost like he was right next to you. Then, Sammy walked up to you and knelt in front of you, looking up at you. He was serious about the ‘basking in your presence' thing, wasn’t he? “Are you ready, Y/N? To offer yourself completely to our savior?” His voice was in a soft tone, like he was a father soothing the fears of a child. You still weren’t entirely sure, but you did say yes, and you had the feeling this was the right thing to do, so you nodded and said, “I think so..” Sammy smiled and said as he offered his hand to you, “Then come, my dearest. Let us worship together in the name of our beloved deity.” His smile and how he was kneeling to you showed that he posed no threat, that what everything he told you was sincere. You also knew it was now or never to find out what was going on. You take his hand and you both stand up, him leading you to the circle.

He places you in the center and he lets go of your hand, walking away and grabbing what looked like an artist’s notebook with some words you couldn't tell crudely scribbled on the cover. Must be a bible, you figured. He smiled at you one last time before he started to recite some lines from the book. They sounded basically like lines you'd find in a regular bible mixed with what you’d say in a seance to summon something. As he spoke, his voice got louder and stronger with each sentence, he was putting his whole heart and soul into this. As the prayers went on, the circle started to glow and the room started to shake. While you were in the circle, it felt like it was sucking you in, keeping you inside like a magnet. No going back now. Once the chants were finished, Sammy entered the circle and held both your hands together with his and says, “Don’t be afraid...Everything will be fine...”

The same words the ink demon told you.

You nodded and then that’s when your hands and arms started to become covered in ink, and it was spreading. Sammy let you go and stepped out of the circle, having a fanatical look on his face as it occurred. “Yes, yes my dear Y/N. Let the ink consume you and become one with our Lord and savior. Give yourself completely to him.” The ink spread to your arms, your torso, your legs, it started to crawl up your neck and pool around your feet. Then something started to grow from the ink on the floor. It was a large mass, then it formed into a skinny humanoid shape, then it formed into the ink demon. You saw the demon look at you and smile, its maw and teeth dripping with ink. Just as it cradled you in its hands like a doll, everything suddenly went black.

You opened your eyes to find yourself in a pitch black room, no light or reflections anywhere. You couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face. You were able to stand up, but when you tried to walk, your feet couldn’t move. Then you saw a light shine down and there was the ink demon in front of you. It towered over you by about 5 feet more than your own height, and all you could smell was the sickening scent of ink. You looked at the demon and saw him offer his hand to you. You looked at him and felt a sense of safety with him, security. You knew that if you took his hand, no harm would ever come to you, not from him, nor from anything, or anyone ever again. And if you took his hand, you will find the answers that you seek. With all that, you make your final decision.

 

You take his hand.

 

He smiles, gently grips your hand, and everything fades to black again.

 

You start to wake up, lying on the floor in Sammy’s room, with Sammy looking over you, smiling. “Welcome back, my dearest. You have been blessed by our Lord Bendy himself. How do you feel?” He helps you up and you notice that your body is now covered in black ink, your arms, your legs, everything but your clothes. It felt...warm. Like you were in a warm bath that relaxed all your muscles, getting rid of all your stress, worries, and fears. “I...I’m not sure,” you stutter out. You weren’t lying, you really weren’t sure. If your life was forever changed, you find out that you’re some chosen one for some demon, and your skin is now covered in ink, how would you react? Sammy placed a hand on your shoulder and smiled reassuringly, saying, “It is normal to feel overwhelmed at first, my dear. But do not worry, our Lord Bendy has chosen you for a reason. You will soon understand your purpose in his grand plan.” He started to walk around the room as he continued, “Oh, you have no idea the full extent of the greatness of his plan. He is the one true god and we are but his faithful servants. Together, we will bring glory to him and all those who oppose us and any who trespass on this realm shall be sacrificed in his name.” He stared at the large ink drawing of Bendy on the wall and had his arms out like he was performing a sermon.

At this point, your lack of answers had made you a bit annoyed. "How am I the chosen one? Is there some sort of prophecy? What is Bendy's plan for me? Why am I here?" Sammy put his arms down and turned to you, sensing your frustration. He said as he walked up to you, "Our Lord works in mysterious ways, my dear. But you cannot deny that you have seen the signs. The visions you've had, of him in all of his glory. He has chosen you for something very special. I know that you were destined to be part of his plan. As for what he has in store for you, only time will tell. But rest assured, it will be nothing short of magnificent." Well..that explained why you had the dreams, but everything else was still left unanswered. Why were you the chosen one? What does that ink demon want with you? Is whatever he's planning your destiny?

Wait...what if...

You asked, "Will I find out his plan one day?" Sammy nodded and responded, "Yes, my dear Y/N. Our Lord will reveal his plan to you when the time is right. Until then, I will guide you and help you in any way I can." You felt a sense of ease as he spoke, relieved to know your questions would be answered one day. It may not have been now, but at least you'd be getting answers at all. And you were glad Sammy was here to help you understand this Lord Bendy and the rest of this religion. For now, it was best to wait and accept what answers you did get.

"Well..if you believe this plan is a good thing, then I'll believe you. But there is one thing you can help me with right now. What you said back there, about...indulging in personal pleasures...what did you mean by that?” A grin grew on his face as you mentioned his words from before. He chuckled and pulled you closer to him, his voice as sweet as honey, “Oh my dear, what I meant by that was exploring the pleasures of the flesh.” You felt a warmth grow on your cheeks as he continued, “Sharing our bodies as one under the watchful eye of our Lord. It is...” He wrapped his arm around your waist and whispered in your ear, ”...an intimate experience unlike any other.” You felt a shiver go down your spine from his voice. In that moment, you felt your body start to grow warm, you could feel your heat growing stronger. Was it your body reacting to his voice and touch, was it ‘Bendy’ doing this, or was it the ink having an effect on your senses? You weren’t sure anymore. Sammy could tell what was happening to you, and as he started to kiss your neck, he said softly, “No need to fight it, love. There’s nothing wrong with giving in to your desires. It's what our Lord wants for us. Embrace them and let us indulge together in the pleasures that he has bestowed upon us.” His voice, his kiss, and his touch just made the temptation grow inside you even more. You then remembered the dreams where you felt the immense pleasure. As images of those dreams flashed in your head, you remember the man covered in ink. That was when it hit you: Sammy was the ink man in those dreams. You wanted to feel that pleasure again, you knew he would give it to you, and this was your chance to do it. Besides, he said there was no reason to fight it, so why fight? “Ok..” With that, Sammy smiled and led you to the bed.

He then pulled you in and he kissed you passionately, his hands roaming over your body as he guided you towards ecstasy. You felt a sudden rush of pleasure as he kissed you. In fact, your whole body felt more sensitive to his touch. You realized this was the same feeling you had as in your dreams. Maybe this was what Bendy had planned... You let go and kissed Sammy back just as passionately, moaning softly from the sensation. He moaned softly as he deepened the kiss, his hands exploring every inch of your body. In between kisses, he said softly, "Oh my Y/N, you truly are a gift from our Lord..." The kissing continued and all of a sudden, you felt a liquid come from Sammy's mouth and enter yours. You recognized the smell and knew it was ink. You wanted to spit it out, but Sammy kept his mouth on yours and the ink flooded your mouth so much, you had no choice but to swallow it. You expected to start gagging from the vile taste, but...you noticed the taste was actually sweet. You also noticed the smell was no longer nauseating, it was...pleasant. You felt the ink coat everything as it went down your throat. Your arousal intensified and you felt your body growing warmer, all your worries, questions, and even thoughts slowly started to fade away, your mind starting to grow a bit hazy. Sammy broke the kiss and smiled. He whispered, "Let us become one for him." All you could say was, "Yes.."

Sammy kept kissing you as he laid you on the bed, took the straps of your dress off your shoulders, and slid it off to show your nude body. You slipped his straps off and once you did, he pulled away from the kiss to remove his own clothing, revealing his heavily inked body. You looked at him and were unable to speak as you looked at all of him. You could see his cock growing from the darkness of his body. It was much bigger than any man's you've ever seen.. It had to have been a blessing of some sort to be gifted with something as marvelous as that. But you wondered...would it even fit? Although...with how big it was, you knew it would certainly feel so good inside you. He grinned, knowing you liked what you saw, and started to grope your breasts, teasing your nipples with his fingers as he continued to kiss you. After a bit of that, he then slid a hand down your body down to your pussy, his finger tracing circles around your clit as he licks and kisses your neck. You couldn't help but moan from the pleasure he was giving you. He said softly, "My love, your body truly is a temple to our savior..." He moved his mouth to your breast, as he kept rubbing your slit. You moaned as you felt his tongue slide all around your nipple. The pleasure was so intense, it felt like your nipple was as sensitive as your clit. "Ahh..S..Sammy..." you moaned. He smiled and moved back up to kiss you deeply once again, his fingers still teasing your pussy. He says softly, "Oh how I've waited for you to come here..I've yearned for someone like you for so long... and now that you're here..I'm so blessed to have you be mine..."

He then slides two fingers inside of you, making you moan a bit louder as he started to finger you, his tongue exploring your mouth as he does. He felt your walls clenching around his finger, and it only made him more excited to be with you. "You're so tight, dearest..." you couldn't respond as the pleasure was clouding your mind. He just chuckled, finding your reactions to his touch simply adorable. He slid his fingers deeper into you, his thumb rubbing your clit as he does. He could feel you getting wetter and wetter as you moaned more and more, and he couldn't wait to feel you cum all over his fingers. Luckily for him, it wasn't that much longer, because just a few more hits and you were seeing stars. You moaned out as your orgasm caused you to cover his hand in your juices. Sammy just smiled and pulls his fingers out of you, licking the juices off them. You watched as he slid each finger into his mouth.

He then kisses down your body until he reached your pussy. "H-hey..w..what are you doing..?" You asked as he spread your legs open, but all you got was him looking up at you with a smirk and a low chuckle before he dove right in. He started to lick and suck on your clit, feeling your body still trembling as you continued to orgasm. He groaned as he tasted your sweet juices, his own cock growing even harder the more he did. "Mm...Y/N...you taste so sweet..." As he continued, you planted your hands on his head, feeling the ink partially meld with yours, and moaned as you rode the pleasure your lover was giving you. "S..Sammy..!" He grins and kept licking and sucking, his tongue flicking against your clit. He then slowly started to slide two fingers back inside you, feeling your walls still clenching around them. He knew you were close to cumming again, and he wanted to make sure you did. You felt another orgasm build up until it crashed into you like a wave, moaning out as more of your juices came out. He cleaned up all of the juice with his tongue and he continued to finger fuck you, his thumb rubbing your clit as he does. He can feel your body trembling once more, and he couldn't wait to make you cum again. But you couldn't take it anymore.

You flipped around so you were on top of him and you moved down to his throbbing cock, rubbing it as you licked up his shaft and sucked on the tip and slid him inside your mouth. He groaned softly as he feels your lips around his cock, your tongue rubbing against his most sensitive spot. He grinned and ran his fingers through your inky hair, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the sensation. He couldn't believe how good you are at this. You bobbed your head and sucked more, addicted to the taste of it as the ink coated the inside of your mouth. How could ink taste so good..?

He moaned softly as he felt you bobbing your head up and down his cock, your lips sliding down the shaft as you do. He couldn't wait to see what else you can do. He pushed your head down further onto his cock, making him go deeper down your throat. He moaned as he felt your tongue swirl around the shaft as you kept sucking him off. The force of him pushing you down on his cock should've made you gag, but somehow, something in the ink changed that. You sucked more of his cock and started to fondle his balls. He moaned a bit more, your fingers gently holding his balls as you suck him off and as he started to thrust into your mouth. You could feel his cock start to twitch, you knew he was about to cum, so you kept sucking to show that it was okay for him to cum in your mouth. He groaned and gripped your hair tightly as he finally came, filling your mouth with his cum. You swallowed all of it so greedily, you didn't even notice his cum was as black as ink, but it tasted so good..you licked on the tip of his cock to get each and every last drop.

Once you took him out of your mouth, he pulled you up and flipped you both around so he was on top. He grabbed your leg and pulled it over his shoulder and you felt him rub his cock on your pussy. He grinned and slid his cock into your pussy, letting out a shuddering sigh as he does. The action caused you to arch your back in pleasure and moan his name again. He couldn't believe how good it felt to be inside you, and he started to thrust his hips back and forth, his cock sliding in and out with ease. He groaned softly as he felt your pussy tighten on his cock, hearing your moans, your body writhing beneath him. The pleasure was so much more intense than you could ever imagine, even better than it was in the dreams. "S..Sammy..it...it feels so good..how...how can it feel this good..?" "Oh my dear, it's because of our savior. He's rewarding you for your obedience and devotion to him with pleasures non-believers can never experience. Just relax and let us enjoy this blessing." You did just that and let your mind go, letting the pleasure take control. Oh lord, it felt so good. You could feel his cock stretch your pussy out so well, it was like it was made especially for him.

He groaned louder as he hears you moan, your body writhing beneath him as he fucks you. He leans down and kisses you, his tongue sliding into your mouth as he does. He thrusted his hips back and forth faster, his cock deeply sliding in and out of your pussy. You wrapped your arms around him as you kissed, you could feel his tongue coat the inside of your mouth with ink and you felt it slide down your throat again, making your mind even more foggy. Sammy moaned as he felt your tongue slide around his, your mouth tasting so sweet. He lifted you up so you were in his lap as he thrusted his hips faster and harder, his cock going even deeper. The man just couldn't get enough of you, he was completely addicted to you. Your touch, your voice, your eyes, your taste, your pussy, everything.

He broke the kiss to say in between moans, "Oh Y/N... you're so perfect... I'm so glad Lord Bendy chose you to be mine.." You look at him and say, "M..me too..I..I'm so..so happy..!" Sammy smiled as he kissed you again. Soon enough, you could feel your inner core tightening. "I...I'm gonna cum..!" "That's it, dearest..don't fight it...let it happen.." And with a few more thrusts, you finally came. It was the most intense orgasm you've ever experienced in your life, your mind entering a new realm of bliss. Sammy felt your body shake beneath him, your pussy tightening around his cock. He grinned and continued to thrust into you. He held you as you rode your orgasm, your body writhing beneath him. You could feel his cock starting to twitch again, he was so close, so very close. Just a bit more..

He let out almost an animalistic groan as he felt your pussy clench around his cock as you came once again, your juices coating his shaft. That finally brings him to his release, moaning as he cums inside you. You could feel his hot cum fill your belly so much, the man must have been backed up for so long. He grinned as he feels you cum, his cock throbbing inside you as he fills you with his seed. He leaned to you and kissed you one last time as his high started to fade away. He still could not believe how good all that felt, it was almost like reaching Nirvana. Soon, he broke the kiss and held you close to him, his head resting on your shoulder, his breath hot on your neck as he panted. You both laid on the bed and let the afterglow consume you both as you held each other close. He whispered into your ear, "You're mine, my little angel...no one else can have you..."

And you couldn't have been any happier.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

No following; Planet of the apes fanfic Chap. 2

*Author's note*

And here we are with the second chapter of my new POTA series. Like I said I'll be binge posting today so buckle up everyone! Here we get snippets of growing up with Caesar and Lin. Now I have written some scenes based off of deleted scenes from Rise and that'll be the case for some of series. If I find a deleted scene that could fit the story, I'll work around it and place it into my story.

Reminder I do NOT own Planet of the Apes, it belongs to their respected owners, creators and studios. I also don't own any songs that I use for the fic, it's only for entertainment purposes.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@waddles03

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@psychosupernatural

_______________________________________________________

All hail Julius Caesar! Well we didn’t call him Julius but Caesar definitely seemed to fit him, especially as he got older.  Now I had read that apes and monkeys were smart but Caesar—I’ll tell you he is something else.  Just short of a year old and he was already signing 24 words with ease, heck I can barely remember 10 of them.  But he’s brought a real light to the house, things just felt a lot more—happier, lighter.

No one seemed depressed anymore.  And I’ll say this, it’s definitely a lot of fun to now have someone to play with at home.  Sure I’ve got my school friends and the friends I’ve made at the rec center but Caesar brings something else that I can’t quite explain.  He looks up to me but also I learn from him, I don’t know if this even makes any sense but is this what it means to be a big sister?

Uncle Will spends most of his time in the study area always talking or taking notes about Caesar.  There’s always video cameras out whenever he’s doing something whether it was drawing, reading, or even playing chess (which he is a master at. Heck he treats checkers like it’s nothing and believe it or not, he’s beaten me at Candyland 17 times!).

Caesar is always up for learning and is so curious, it really is like having a baby around the house.  Like this one time I had caught him listening to some of my CD’s on his stereo with his headphones on, but his curiosity will also get him into trouble when I got mad when he came into my room and took a picture out from under my pillow.  No one and I mean absolutely no one ever touches that photo!

He got scared and kept hiding from me every time I entered a room until later that night uncle Will had me apologize to him and I told Caesar that the picture was something special to me and only I was allowed to look at it (that and uncle Will and grandpa if they were in the room too).  He took notice of my tone and demeanor as I spoke and we ended up snuggling up together on his bed as he comforted me.

Now at age two Caesar was really starting to grow up and show his intelligence.  He was completing puzzles and lego models for kids 8+ so for tweens like me who have to work hard for hours or even days on end on the Lego Star Wars Death star, Caesar can get it done within 24hrs.  Yeah he’s that smart.

I stormed in the house and walked past Irene, grandpa’s nurse and she greeted me.

“Hey Lin, how was your day?”

“It sucked! I’ll be in the attic!” I stomped up the stairs loudly and ran across the hall and reached up for the attic stairway but the rope kept swinging away from my fingertips.  “Damnit!” I hissed lowly as I looked around and found the stepstool.  “I swear I better get a growth spurt once I’m 16!” I pulled down the attic entryway but as I pulled down the staircase fully, I took a few deep breaths trying to calm down.

After scaring him the last time I got angry, I didn’t want to take my anger out on him after the bad day I had.  Once I was calm, I walked up the stairs into Caesar’s room.  Uncle Will and I had worked together to really enrich this old attic into a playroom for Caesar.

Some of the old toys I never played with again were now his, the stereo that stood on a desk filled with some books that he and I would read to Caesar.  All of them ranging from basic children’s books with lots of pictures to young tween novels like The Hobbit, Harry Potter or the Magic tree house series (those books I loved reading when I was little).

There was also some ‘monkey bars’ given for him to hang on or swing around on in order to climb up to the banisters above the balcony.  And of course the giant window that stood proudly at the center of the room and he could look out and see the entire neighborhood (well not the whole neighborhood but you get the picture).

“Caesar?” I called out.  I heard the sound of my old interactive toy phone being played with.  I walked over and looked over his bed and found Caesar on the ground, headphones on and being intrigued with the toy phone.  “Hey! Caesar!” I called out louder as I could faintly hear the loud music coming from his headphones.

He then turned to me and immediately reached for his monkey bars and swung himself onto the bed before bounding over to me and hugged me hotting happily.  The chord of the headphones came off and soon the music he was listening to now played through the speakers of the stereo.  I smiled and felt myself feeling better as he patted me enthusiastically.

“Hey buddy, hi. Oh I missed you too!” I separated from him as he continued to hoot and pant excitedly.  I took the headphones off his head and told him, “You listening to my cd’s again? John Williams this time huh? You like him too?” as E.T’s flying theme started playing through the speakers, Caesar hooted and jumped on the bed as his hands slammed onto the mattress.  “Yeah he’s the best composer ever, maybe I should get you to watch the film. I think you’d like it.”

I went over to the speaker and turned the volume down when I took notice of something on the table just across from his bed.  As I walked over to the table I asked him.

“Hey, where’d you get these puzzles?” Caesar stopped his excitement and just looked at me anxiously.  “Aren’t these grandpa’s puzzles?” I noticed that he had gotten three of my grandpa’s puzzles.  The 500 piece puzzles that only old people can seem to have the patience for.  One was a man and woman on a horse going over a beach, the other was of the New York skylight, and the third was the Declaration of Independence being signed.

The third one he was nearly done and he was about halfway done with the first two.  I turned to Caesar and raised my brow skeptically at him.  He looked down between the bed and my gaze before he lept over the bedframe and hid behind it and occasionally peeking out over the frame before hiding again.  I walked over and stroked along the puzzle of the man and woman on the beach as Caesar began nervously hooting and making a few hand gestures.

“Am I gonna tell?” I translated.  “No, no I won’t tell. This can be another secret of ours.” I heard Caesar walk back and hop onto the bed as I shook my head astounded.  “I can barely do the edge pieces to these things.” I walked over towards Caesar and collapsed across his bed letting out a deep sigh.  Caesar bounded his way over to me, his green eyes showing deep concern as he lowly hooted and signed again.  “Sad? You could say that.”

Caesar then lay down carefully and started stroking through my hair almost like he was grooming me.  I smiled softly and said.

“Thanks brother ape.” I reached and cupped the side of his face and he pressed his face against my palm.  “Never thought I’d see the day, but I don’t think Gabi and I are friends anymore. And it’s for real this time.” Caesar softly grunted as he pointed at the necklace I wore around my neck.  “Yeah, the same Gabi who gave me this, and I gave her one with my name when we both went to Disneyland last summer for our orchestra fieldtrip.”

I sat up as Caesar settled himself close to me, his hand resting on top of my lap as he rested his chin to my shoulder brushing my hair gingerly out of my face.

“I knew she had been acting distant lately, but I’d never thought it was because she was hanging out with Hannah and her cronies. Those girls made our lives hell last year, and now Gabi just up and joins in their little friend group and pretend I don’t exist!? After all we went through! I don’t…..” I felt a couple of tears slip down my face.

I then felt a rough yet gentle leather finger reach up and catch one of my tears.  I sniffled and rubbed my eyes harshly to try and get rid of the tears.

“I’m sorry Caesar, you don’t need all this teenage drama dumped on you.” Caesar softly hooted and signed.

‘Sister was sad, Caesar listened. Talking help?’ I smiled softly.

“Yeah. It did kinda help to talk about it. Can’t really dump this stuff onto gramps, and Uncle Will’s been busier than ever lately. Thank you Caesar.” He smiled at me before jumping off the bed and ran over to grab something.  He came back and placed something into my lap as he hooted softly.  I took the object and saw that it was a miniature handmade bicycle made out of two old toy wheels, some cooper wire, and old silver and green hinges.

I turned the wheels around and marveled at the bike.  It was practically a perfect replica of a real one and he made it with various materials and tools found around up here.  I looked up at Caesar who sat there looking modest.

“Did you make this?” Caesar pondered with his hand to his chin avoiding eye contact for a brief moment before looking at me and opening his mouth panting as he also smiled.  I felt myself smile more as I told him, “You’re a smart yet cheeky ape.” Caesar let out a laugh as I continued, “Maybe you can help me with my science project next eh?” I dug through my backpack and brought out all my books and folders as I showed Caesar what I had learned today in the 6h grade.

As night rolled around a sudden thunderstorm had swept over San Fransisco.  Thank god I already took my bath just an hour before the storm rolled around cause this was probably the worst storm I’ve ever heard.  A loud boom of thunder almost shook the house and I heard the fast paced running of Caesar racing down from the attic, as a flash of lightning struck from my window I suddenly was tackled to my bed and felt a shuddering, furry ape holding onto me while grunting and hooting fearfully.

“It’s okay Caesar, it’ll be okay.”

‘Thunder shake house. Will it be okay?’

“Of course it will. The wind can’t knock down this house, not like the trees outside.”

‘You’re sure?’

“Yes. Here why don’t you sleep with me tonight? I know Uncle Will says you gotta get used to sleeping by yourself when you’re scared but I think tonight he’ll have to learn to make an exception.” Caesar immediately settled himself onto my bed but refused to let go of my hand.

As I got settled in another loud boom of thunder made him shriek as he curled up beside me, his head burying itself into my chest.  I wrapped my arms around him and stroked through his fur in soothing circles.

“Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m here Caesar. It’s okay.” I softly spoke.  But even with my comforting touch and words, I could still feel him trembling in fear.  I thought long and hard until I remembered our favorite movie together.  Mighty Joe Young, the song they sing in the movie, it always seemed to put him in a good mood and he’d always say that the bond between Joe and Jill was like us.  So I did exactly what Jill did for Joe after he had destroyed his enclosure and sung the lullaby from the movie.

Imba wimbo

Wa upepo

Wakati unajiwa na

Imba wimbo wa upepo

Wakati ndoto tamu

Lala mpaka usiku uisheni

Upepo wa usiku

Wimbo wangu na

Inaendelea

Milele

I looked down and saw that Caesar had now fallen asleep against my chest, his face now clear of any fear that he had before.  I smiled softly and kissed his forehead before whispering.

“Goodnight little brother.” I pulled the covers over the both of us and soon fell fast asleep holding Caesar in my arms.

And as it turned out, the storm from last night ended up carrying into the next morning.  So I knew that everyone would be driving frantically to their next destination (I swear if it’s not sunny weather, people lose their freakin minds!).  As I donned on my raingear and prepared to leave for the bus stop up the road, Caesar came and took my hand signing as he frantically hooted.

‘No go today. Stay here with Caesar!’

“I can’t Caesar. I’ve got a big math test today and I haven’t studied for it. I’ll be fine and so will you.” Caesar began pulling on my arm hard and fearfully but I took his hand and removed his grip from my arm.  “No Caesar! You stay, I go. No following.” I told him as I also signed it to him knowing that I meant it.

Caesar looked at me pitifully but stepped aside and allowed me to go.

“Be good, I’ll see you when I get back from school.” I kissed his head and opened up my umbrella before quickly racing out of the house for the bus stop.

It was a typical Wednesday (besides the weather).  And like I have every Monday, Weds. and Friday it was my favorite elective, Orchestra.  I’ve really come to love music just beyond listening to it.  Through our class whenever we’re not practicing for Districts, we play the most famous film scores like Pink Panther, Jurassic Park, E.T. we’ve even tried a couple of songs from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

When the bell rang signaling class was over, I packed up my violin and put away the music sheets back onto the table when my teacher Ms. Stanley called out to me.

“Lin, could you stay behind for a moment, I want to talk to you about something.”

“Sure Ms. Stanley, what is it? Am I in trouble?”

“No, no nothing like that. Since you came into my class, I’ve been taking notice of how you play. Most of the students here are in it for an easy grade or just to check something off their elective courses. But when I see you play, you almost seemed enveloped in the music. Like you become one with it.”

“Thanks Ms. Stanley. Growing up I’ve always loved hearing all the best film composers from John Williams to Hans Zimmer, James Horner, Alan Silvestri, James Newton Howard, John Powell, all those guys.”

“Do you know the San Francisco community music center?”

“I know of it but I’ve never been in it. I took lessons from the old rec center that used to be around before they moved buildings a year ago. But they only did up to 10 years old for lessons.”

“Well I happen to have an old college friend who works at the community center. And not only is he the head maestro but he also runs a tour group that goes out every summer to perform for various studios across America. How about you let me recommend you for an audition?”

“Me? Seriously?”

“You’ve got talent in the likes I rarely see in kids your age. Here why don’t you take this brochure and show it to your uncle and have him look at the website for more information. Then once I hear back from my friend I’ll give you the details after class.”

“Yeah, yeah I’ll—I’ll do that. Thank you Ms. Stanley.” I said taking the brochure from her hands and feeling my heart just ready to burst out of my chest in excitement.  I heard the warning bell ring and she quickly wrote me a late pass for my next class and I thanked her again as I raced out with a skip in my step.

Once school was over and I ran down the street in the rain I came up the stairs and quickly unlocked the door and came inside shaking off the raindrops from my umbrella and my raincoat.

“I’m home!” Irena soon came in and she greeted me.

“Hello Lin, had a good day?”

“Oh the best. Where’s gramps I gotta tell him something.”

“I’m afraid it’ll have to wait, your grandpa’s having a—bad day right now. I just had to step aside for a moment to calm myself down.”

“Ohh I see. I’m sorry Irena. But we really do appreciate you coming here, even if he has a bad day.” She merely gave me a hesitant nod but I could see it on her face, she was almost at her wits end with grandpa’s episodes.  I went upstairs to see Caesar and right away I was tackled by him the second I came into the attic space.  “Hey buddy glad to see me huh?”

He hooted and playfully we began to wrestle with each other before he had me pinned down and pretended to whack me repeatedly and I let out a few playful grunts before lying ‘dead’.  I heard Caesar’s curious cooing sounds as he paced around me before sniffing me.  That’s when I opened my eyes and blew air in his face which made him jump back as he shrieked and hollered playfully before laughing.

“Yeah, yeah I’d know you’d never hurt me.” He came up and hugged me before signing.

‘Happy?’

“You could say that. Oh Caesar you wouldn’t believe what my orchestra teacher told me.” I went over to Caesar’s bed and sat down and he came up beside me, curiously looking over my shoulder as I dug through my backpack for the brochure.  “This is the San Fransisco community center. It’s about roughly 25-30 minutes from here, they’ve got the best music and arts program in the entire city. My teacher told me she’s got a friend who’s the head Maestro for the Orchestra dept. there. And she said she’d get me an audition for them!”

Caesar hooted excitedly and signed to me.

‘You’ll get in it.’

“Well first we’ll have to see if he even agrees to have me audition. And if I do somehow get it, I can be a part of that orchestra for as long as I want. And I’ll even be able to tour around the country performing for thousands of people!”

‘You go away forever?’

“No, not forever Caesar. Of course I’ll come back, as long as you’re here waiting for me.” I took his hand.  “You’re my brother ape Caesar, I’ll always be there when you need me, just like I know you’ll be there for me.” Caesar let out a pant as he pulled my head towards him and we pressed our foreheads together as a sign of affection, rocking from side to side.

‘I love you Lin.’

“I love you too big guy. Now wanna learn some more sign language. Bet it gets kinda boring learning the same basics with Uncle Will.” I couldn’t help but tease.  Caesar playfully pushed me down onto the bed which made me laugh and Caesar also let out a laugh as well.  I then pulled out my homework and together we got to work practicing the lesson I was given for this week and to ready myself for the next test coming up in a couple of weeks.

Another year passed by and Caesar was now three years old.  As a surprise, we had planned a little birthday celebration for him.  I was in charge of the decorations and the table setting while Uncle Will made the cake stuffed with some of Caesar’s favorite fruits.  To make sure this was kept a surprise, grandpa promised he’d keep Caesar upstairs and entertain him while uncle Will and I got everything ready in the kitchen.

“How’s the cake coming along uncle Will?” I asked as I tied up another balloon and let it go up towards the ceiling.

“Oh pretty good.” I looked up and saw how he was covered in flour and frosting.

“Uhh uncle Will. I think the frosting’s supposed to go on the cake, not on your face.”

“Haha you’re hilarious.” He said sarcastically. “Just having a bit of trouble getting the last of the frosting out. You know how hard it is when you’re trying to get the last bit of toothpaste out, well imagine that but a bigger tube.”

“I thought you said we had enough frosting?”

“We do, it’s just always a bit tricky to get the frosting to come out especially with all these designs you’re making me do.”

“Hey I only suggested one tree but you had to do two of them, plus writing out the message in frosting. I had written on the list to get those eatable letters you can put on cakes.”

“Those are nothing but cheap plastic letters. And their too small, he could choak on them.”

“He’s smart to know not to eat them whole.”

“Whatever, just get back to decorating.” He ordered me.

“Yes sir squadron leader.” I saluted mockingly.

“Don’t get smart. We don’t have much time before Caesar gets restless and Charles can only hold him off for so long.” I nodded and got back to work.

“You think he’ll like my gift to him?”

“There’s no doubt about that. You’ve been working on it for months now practicing day and night.”

“Yeah, but……”

“Hey, no buts. He’ll love it, he loves it when you play your violin and knowing that you’ve been practicing his favorite score piece, he’s gonna love it.” I smiled softly as I finished setting up the table and Uncle Will finally brought over the cake.  “Okay, all that’s left is the candles and the guest of honor himself.”

“Should I go get them?”

“Be my guest.” He said as we both left the kitchen.  I headed up for the attic and saw both Caesar and grandpa sitting on the bed reading Julius Caesar.

“Sorry for interrupting but we’re ready.” Caesar looked at my with a head tilt as he hooted in confusion.  “We’ve got a surprise for you downstairs Caesar.” At that word, he began to hoot and shriek excitedly as he bounded over towards me.  “Okay, okay easy Caesar. Steady. First you’re gonna have to close your eyes.” He let out a whine but I told him, “don’t play that card on me. What good is a surprise if you just go down and see it? Now close your eyes.”

“C’mon Caesar, just play along with her.” Grandpa encouraged him as he came up and took his hand.  Caesar then climbed up into grandpa’s arms and closed his eyes as we both climbed down the stairs.  “Keep them closed, we’re almost there.” Grandpa told him, “No peeking.” Caesar hooted and started to bounce in grandpa’s arms until we finally came to the kitchen and I said.

“Okay, open them.” When Caesar removed his hand from his eyes, they grew wide at all the decorations as we all cried out.

“Surprise!” He let out some excited shrieks as he hopped out of grandpa’s arms and came over to the table and admired everything.  He first went over to uncle Will and hugged him.

“You’re welcome pal, happy birthday.” Caesar then came over to me and we hugged each other.

“Surprised you didn’t we?” Caesar let out a few excited pants as he smiled happily.

“Alright, here we go.” Uncle Will soon lit the candles as we all sat down around the table and we sang happy birthday to Caesar.  He was so happy as he looked at each of us and swayed in his seat before he blew out his candles by the end of the song.  We clapped and uncle Will began cutting the cake for each of us to eat.

Pictures were taken, laughs were had, and Caesar rejoiced at the new presents he got from grandpa and uncle Will.  Then the time came for me to give Caesar my gift.  I grabbed my violin and tuned it up before telling Caesar.

“Hey Caesar, come into the living room real quick.” Soon he, uncle Will and grandpa came in and Caesar and grandpa took a seat on the couch, uncle Will stood at the doorway between the living room and the kitchen with a video camera in hand.  “Uncle Will turn it off!” I cried out.

“It is off.”

“No it’s not why’s the red light on?”

“It’s the off light.” I looked at him annoyed. “Just go pretend I’m not doing anything.” I let out a groan but turned to Caesar and said.

“This is for you buddy, happy birthday.” I took a deep breath before exhaling as I held my violin to my shoulder and placed the bow along the strings.  I heard the song in my head and readied my fingers on the notes that needed to be played and soon the famed score for “E.T’s flying theme” began echoing through the living room.

Caesar let out a few excited pants and shrieks as he clapped before settling down and watched me in awe as I continued to play his favorite John Williams score.  Closing my eyes I felt myself enwrapped in the music as I could feel myself flying in the sky much like E.T and Elliot did on their bike.

Even though it was just me and my violin playing, no brass instruments or accompanying strings, I still gave as much emotion into this performance as I would if I had a whole orchestra with me.  Once I got to the end and finished the final notes, all went quiet before I heard the three person applause.

“Oh brava, bravo!” grandpa cheered.  I opened my eyes and bowed before Caesar came up and hugged me.  I set my violin down and hugged him back.

“Did you like it?”

‘Loved it! Caesar very happy! Thank you Lin.’ He signed as he hooted excitedly.

“You’re welcome little brother. Happy birthday.” I hugged him back and rocked him back and forth as I saw Uncle Will shut the camera off and he gave me a knowing smirk before winking at me.

[gremlintooth]

AHHHGH DUDE, IVE FINALLY FOUND YOU ON HERE, YESSSS BRO, YOUR WRITING IS PHENOMENAL, (I'd say I'm the biggest lagwafis enthusiast on the internet, as soon as i read lagwafis, I bought the CD, the collectors edition pill pack white shirt, I have so so so many quotes on my Craig Tucker Shrine from the fic, and if you wanted to know, I've currently managed to read lagwafis 388 times, people believe I know it by heart, get it? "I know you by heart, Tweek" and the agonizing fact I quote lagwafis every day whenever I see a brink of reference infront of me, like let's say yesterday, I was in a store- and I saw a tub of chai latte and I was so close to screaming lagwafis reference inside of the store, I'm also cooking up some fan art (specifically from coming home) so I'll totally tag you when it's out) AHHH I'M GONNA WRITE SO MUCH ON HERE IT MIGHT GO TO THE LIMIT, okay so first, let's talk about the fanfic itself, there are SO many tiny details in this fic that have either made me laugh or cry in agony, which is a good thing, also, the characterization is TOP TIER, a lot of fanfictions tend to fall slightly short on the background characters outside of the pairing that tends to be the main focus. This was a great change, especially in Craig's group and Stan especially, everyone felt so real and totally had obvious quirks from the fandom itself that I LOVED SO MUCH, your writing evokes so much emotion that I somehow managed to feel exactly how everyone felt in a chapter relevant to them.

Let's talk about the character description choices, the way you described Tweek in almost every chapter made my heart ache in the best way possible, you made him sound like a fallen angel, the definition of ethereal, also the fact you decided on giving him that mouth scar with backstory to it is TOP TIER, I have a similar scar on my lip and whenever I see it in the mirror I think of Tweek from this fanfic, let's move on to Craig, the way you wrote his internal monologue and the way his emotions played out made me absolutely soul crushed, this entire fic left a deep pit in my heart, especially how Craig was described, Craig was written so realistically that it actually felt like he was real. He purposely blocked off his emotions to prevent himself from being seen as vulnerable, he struggled with keeping his “I don’t give a shit” personality until it all just exploded and the part that he was so vulnerable with was exposed to the entire school.

Also I see that the lagwafis anniversary is coming up soon!! I usually celebrate it every year when I get the chance to, by doing lagwafis related things and shit, this fanfic deserves way more than just kudos and comments and hits, this fic deserves the damn world and beyond, I even had literal dreams of this fic being one day announced to be an animated movie, and if it ever did I would cry and vomit in the best way ever possible, my life would be so complete if we became moots on here, also, I'm not sure if you have TikTok, but that's where I'm most known to being the lagwafis enthusiast on there, i make a lot of lagwafis related videos, my username is spacecadetcraigz, if you ever see this at some point, just know im so grateful you took your time to read through this.

I literally wish you the best life for now on

Yours truly,

Spacecadetcraig

388 times????? That’s true dedication my friend, you must read it like twice a week? Incredible, I’m so glad you enjoy something I wrote this much. I’m also so glad you love the album by Spiritualised too, it’s such a special album and there’s something so perfect about the title track that I’ve never been able to shake.

I didn’t even realise the anniversary was coming up, thanks for reminding me! It’s so weird to think I started writing that story six years ago. At that time I’d been catching up with South Park and when I first saw the Tweek X Craig episode it was my new favourite thing from the first minute in.

An animated movie would be amazing, Matt and Trey give us the rights pls, free of charge if possible (they’d so try for another billion dollar deal ahahahah)

I’m going to check you out on tiktok and if you do make fanart please tag me! I’d love to see!

[crackhead4]

I've fallen down a deep, deeeepppp hole of tomarry, and when i mean I've fallen, i don't mean stumbled or lightly grazed my self.

Mean that I've completely drowned in it. I'm in the Atlantic Ocean deeper than the titanic, deeper than the lost city of Atlantic, deeper than the sea floor. I'm like an addict and it lowkey scares me and impresses me at the same time. Like, how am I this passionate and obsessed with this ship???

IT'S JUST ABOUT TWO.MAGIC WIZARDS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. But I just want to read about it over and over and over again. It also doesn't help that the fics I love are currently abandoned. For example, the series The Great Black Snake That Breathed Fire, a beautiful work of literature that I suggest you read but it's abandoned and I'm so sad about it cause it's like a beauty. The details are also fenominal. The writing of Tom Riddle is amazing. The dialogue is superb, and that includes the banter. THE PLOT IS ALSO TO DIE FOR AS WELL. It's just so Goddamn Intriguing 😩 😫

But the author had sadly abandoned it and I'm not blaming them it just sad that it was let go and I'm trying to find fics that are similar to it cause it's really good and I was hoping if anyone has any suggestions.🙏🙏🙏

Also, another fic I suggest you guys read is The Mark You Left On Me. It's also unfinished but so good. The plot is like a Soulmate type situation, and I just love it when fanfic writers do that for Tomarry. Just makes me smile and get all giddy, or maybe it reminds me of His Darkesy Devotion (also another great fic). At this point, it might be both. Idea anymore, man. But it's really god but stopped at like a certain point, and I always check the comment section on any fic if the author has like replied to a message that is mentioning to update it. Then I just count the days down until it's updated and then read the comment on that chapter to see people thoughts and predictions on it ( the more I write the more I think I have a problem but oh well)

And I honestly could just make about all the tomarry fics I've read if anyone is intrigued, but I think It would end up being too long 😅. Anyway, I forgot the point of this post, but if anyone does have recommendations of focs similar to the one above that are tomarry plz do tell

[cabyang]

moral archives fanfic i wrote for fun lol

@maxphilippa here

I should've known. It was so obvious, it should've occured to me earlier.

The way I smiled every time he smiled, the way I laughed when he laughed, the way I followed when he took the lead, the way he followed when I took the lead.

But I was oblivious to my love, and therefore his. I waved off every feeling I had as a side product of our friendship, no matter how head over heels I was.

It was only then, when he gave me the immunity milk, that I truly understood.

The way my face reddened with love, like it had many times before, although quickly undercut by the sour taste of the long since spoiled milk. The way he looked into my eyes, with a beautiful smile on his face I had always admired. It finally clicked. I was in love.

I asked him if he was sure, I mean it was his after all. If he wanted it, I would've given it right back. But he reassured me, making sure I took his gift. I looked at him with love struck eyes, and I looked at him back all the same.

My honey covered feelings made drinking the spoiled milk slightly less bad, although I was struggling to keep it down. Every chance it got, my brain wondered back to how Yinyang looked at me in that moment. My heart raced just thinking about it.

As Mephone read the votes, my mind kept coming back to the same subject. Everytime I smiled anew, like it had just happened again. My heart pitter pattered the same sped up rhythm as it did when he gave me the milk, refusing to slow down.

"Yinyang. Two votes Nickel, Two votes Yinyang."

I looked at my one and only ally with worry in my eyes. We did have the numbers to out vote Silver and Nickel, but I didn't know if anybody had made any sudden switches with Blueberry rejoining. He looked at me back seemingly even more worried. My stomach twisted itself a few more knots at the sight of his worried expression.

"Yinyang. Two votes Nickel. Three votes Yinyang."

Oh God. If everything went as planned, then we would at least force a tie. But my heart pounded in worry and I tried my absolute best to take deep breaths discreetly, which didn't help at all. I gripped the immunity milk with all my might, as if I could change the course of fate if I had a strong enough grip on the milk jug.

"And the final vote is..."

I awaited the news with baited breath.

"Yinyang! You are our fifteenth eliminated contestant."

My heart sank all the way to the sandy beach below my wheels. How could this have happened? Yinyang thought *I* was on the chopping block, that's why he gave me the immunity milk, plus we had three members in our alliance, it should've been a tie.

"Now that we know the jury decides the winner, Yinyang is just too big of a threat."

Well. I can't blame him. It is competition. People will do anything it takes to win. But my heart still ached. After everything he had done for me... eliminated. Just like that.

I quickly got over the betrayal as I refocused on something else. The fact I *loved* Yinyang. My heart shattered once again, as I struggled to not only speak but also keep my tears at bay.

"Oh, I'm so sorry your selfless sacrifice was for all for nothing."

I managed to choke out, sensing my sadness Yinyang quickly reassured me. At first I instinctively smiled at his happiness over his personal victory, but then I was painfully reminded that he'd be going away. My face twisted itself, trying to both smile and frown at the same time. It looked weird.

"Hit me as hard as you can!"

Still so excited, even whilst being eliminated. I was reminded again why I loved him. But then he was sent away all the way to Indefinite Island. Then it hit me. How could this have happened? I tried to focus on the positives, how happy he sounded about their personal victory, the smile on his face as he playfully asked Mephone to hit him. But I couldn't.

It hurt. I yearned for whom I just learned I needed, and what I just learned I couldn't contact until either I won, or eliminated. I kept my tears at bay by focusing on the silver lining, but that was all the silver lining did. Keep me from tears. I still ached for Yinyang, hoping that I had found out about my love just a second earlier, just so I could tell him I loved him the same way he loved me.

But I couldn't. I was too late. I had found out at the most inconvenient of times, and now I was to face the side effects. I rolled along the beach in the opposite direction from anyone, mourning my new found loss. I rummaged through my files, searching for any way to contact him. The only way that didn't have a success rate in the negatives was writing a message in a bottle and sending it into the ocean. It had a success rate of exactly 0.01%.

I was again reminded of still bleeding wound of my love, stabbed as soon as it was discovered. I stopped at a certain point, remembering where I was. This was the same spot Yinyang and I built that sand castle, in the down time between episodes 13 and 14. Tears welled up in my eyes about as fast as I could wipe them away.

I pulled out Yinyangs file, and my eyes quickly darting to the small image of him I taped to the side. I had taken in the morning after episode 12, the angle was slightly slanted and it was a little shaky as I kept laughing at the funny face he made towards the camera, though I did end up with a better picture later. I thought this was more fitting. A smile slowly returned to my face like the sun lazily setting over the island.

File in one hand, I used my other hand to find my red pen, searching through the neatly organized manilla folders and printer papers. Once I had found it, I got to work on his file. Slowly but surely, I drew little hearts around the image, I couldn't quite get them fully symmetrical, but I thought that was fitting.

I smiled as I put the file back into the Y section, and looked off into the sunset. It still hurt, but it was comforting that even though he wasn't here, he did love me back. I wonder if he knew I love him too, and if he was comforted by that. I knew one thing was for certain though, I was going to see him again, and that was enough to carry me through the rest of my time on the game.

[nightdemon04]

First try at angst let me know what you think!

I gave this fanfic a very personal spin so i hope it's not too bad.

Angsty? Comfort? Idk you can decide

Warning! Self isolation, mention of sh and sh scars. If any of these trigger you please don't read.

Atsushi Nakajima x gn reader.

Enjoy!!

I splashed water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Eyes puffy from my latest crying session, i took notice of the scars that are still there but atleast i didn't go that far this time. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone started ringing..

Probably Kunikida calling to see where I am, I really wish I hadn't plugged my phone in yesterday, it's been silent for the whole week. Now I'm going to have to explain to everyone why I'm missing for the week, not that any of them bothered to visit to see me. I'll just tell Kunikida I was sick and couldn't get out of bed.

I checked my phone only to see a lot of missed calls and unread messages, I'll answer later. I can't be bothered right now. I lay back in bed staring up, I don't know what happened for me to feel like this. I guess it started when I saw Dazai and the others in a bar without me, they couldn't even bother to invite me. It wasn't even their fault I was away on a mission but it just reminded me of my past and how that went.

Now i'm here talking to no one, going back to how it all was before i joined ADA. I always thought it was normal until i met the people I know now, I can't help let the past haunt me and ruin everything I've build so far.

I should probably atleast text Atsushi, he's probably worried sick about me. I'm suprised he hasn't shown up on my doorstep but I understand. I do live quite a bit away from him. I'm also glad he hasn't shown up, no idea what I'd do. I'm scared to face him. He's the love of my life, he's been there for me since he joined. He gave me the best birthday gift even though he didn't know me. I love him with all my heart so i don't want him to see me like this.

I rubbed my eyes hoping for the tears that I felt building up to dissappear. After a while i fell asleep again, only to be woken up by knocking on my door. I groggily open the door only to see Dazai. "Dazai? What are you doing here?" He pushed me aside and walked inside. He turned to look at me, grabbed my shoulders and started talking. "Get off ur ass, stop pitying yourself and get something done." i looked at him in shock unable to say something.

I felt the tears coming up again. Dazai kept staring at me. he wiped them away.

"Staying home and pitying yourself won't help you, it will make everything worse. Go work or go on a date with Atsushi, go to a store, go to a dog park, i don't know but stop it." He looked at me calmly but there was another emotion hidden deep inside of him. I couldn't say anything, just staring at him. He slapped my cheek softly snapping me out of it and i started nodding and softly said a "yes Dazai."

He looked at me so serious, I've never seen Dazai like this. It's honestly scary to see him like this. "I'll come to work tomorrow i promise." He suddenly smiled. "Good u need to help me with paperwork!" he winked at me.

Ofcourse what else did i expect. Suddenly his face dropped again "Y/N.. Don't let whatever happend stop you or push anyone away. Everyone was worried sick about you, come to us when you need help don't just isolate yourself." i nodded and hugged him tightly.

I felt him tense but slowly hug me back. "Don't ever hesitate to ask for help or advice, just don't wallow in self pity that's just stupid." i nodded again and let him go, he walked to my fridge and took out a bottle of water.

"I'm going now, i better see you at work tomorrow" he was almost past the door when Atsushi came inside panicking. "Y/N i saw your door open are yo- Dazai?" Atsushi is here now too? Just my luck.. "Hello and goodbye Atsushi" with that Dazai left quickly and Atsushi turned to me with confusion.

I just lifted my shoulders i didn't want to expose Dazai or even explain it all. "What are you doing here Atsushi?" He looked at me nervously. "I came to check up on you.. You haven't answered any of my texts and haven't been at work so I've been worried." He cares?

I decided to stop it here i might make a second part though. I've been struggling a lot with life so do excuse the rare updates.

Also I'm working on some headcannons but for some reason i just can't think if anything I'm going to ask some friends to help me cus i really don't have any idea how to tackle that. Either way i hope you liked the fic!

Stay healthy and safe!

Drink enough water and eat too!

[ofsilentthings]

Writer Interview Game!

Thanks @kalmiaphlox for tagging me!

When did you start writing?

I've written since I was a kid. Got heavily into fanfiction as a teenager ... and then promptly stopped when I entered college*. Didn't start up again until about 2020; there were stories I wanted to tell of my D&D characters that didn't come up during gameplay. (Having a pandemic to keep one at home helped as well). Picked up fanfic again in 2021 when, after beating Bloodborne, I found a little site called Archive of One's Own...

* I did co-write a play that was produced at my college; it was about Lewis Carroll's relationship with Alice Liddell, the girl for whom he wrote ALICE IN WONDERLAND I ended up playing Lewis Caroll in the production, which was a treat. Probably fed a secretly-held love of men's 19th century fashion.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I love shows like Babylon 5 or Deep Space 9, as well as a good documentary. I also like reading play scripts.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Someone once compared my writing to F. Scott Fitzgerald and I about exploded with joy. Other than that I love a good (translation) of Gabriel Garcia Marquez or the aforementioned Fitzgerald. Edgar Allen Poe in terms of sheer variety of word use, as well as horror inducing terror.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I have an office with my various fandom paraphernalia around me; but I do a lot of writing on the couch so I can be in the same room as my family. If I get to be alone I love writing outside, or barring that, my local library.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Listening to music. Even if the lyrics aren't exactly what I need, the tone or mood of a piece can be enough for me to start imagining.

Then again, some of my favorite fics have started from dreams I've had.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I write a lot about parenting, because I am a mom; perhaps it's a way to explore the ways parenting can go wrong (and how it can go right). I also seem to write, at least recently, about marriage. I have a lovely happy marriage, but I'm not sure people would know that by the demented marriages I often write about.

What is your reason for writing?

I have fun making up stories, but I find myself needing an outlet to explore some idea of humanity - often an aspect of some part of my life or past that I want to understand better. My stories are me showing my work about various themes in my own life. I don't want to provide solutions or definite answers, but rather, present a situation or feeling and go, 'what do you think?'

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

If I touched a single person with my prose or character situation or if I even made something beautiful from something horrific, then I consider it a win.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

An engaging writer that makes a reader think about their smut.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

World building and, occasionally, dialogue.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I think I have a strong command of a scene - dialogue and scenes between two people are a strength of mine. I have a strong understanding of character motivations and how to present multi-layered characters to an audience, hopefully without judging them too much.

I'm proud of how far I've come in terms of descriptive text; sentence variety, invoking memories and all the senses is something I am experimenting with. (Not every sentence needs to be complex.)

That being said, I wish I knew more words. I'll read something and be reminded of words that I had forgotten, or, even better, learn new words. I want to fill my writing with texture, so that when you read it it tickles all parts of one 's imagination. (I like words.)

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I have struggled a lot with writing what I like, because I know what I like is a specific niche; I try to find a way to write things people will like or comment on but also speaks to bigger themes. I can't write just smut, for instance - there has to be some sort of pathos or character change. In the end I do like most everything I write, because otherwise I wouldn't bear to see it on the screen/print.

tagging @wikipedianna, @karnaca78 , @slothquisitor, for writer fun.

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 14 - Will be posted soon.

I’m working on Chapter 14 and I'm so excited because at the end of Chapter 13, Buck and Eddie had a conversation with Connor, which caused "Petty Eddie" to enter the chat. When Eddie was done telling Connor off, Buck ended their friendship. Also, Eddie passed his first paramedic exam, Chris made progress on the video game he's creating and Buck signed up to volunteer at the Cancer Center. Buck and Eddie shared passionate kisses and slept with their arms wrapped around each other and their legs tangled as they cherished every moment.

___________

Currently 13 chapters completed: 363.1K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

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Here's a snippet from Chapter 14 of supportive Eddie being there for Buck.

___________

Buck feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin and he’s so nervous, his left knee is bouncing up and down like it did the last time they were here.  To reassure him, Eddie does what he did two weeks ago, he sits their joined hands-on top of it.

He looks at Eddie and whispers, “Sorry”.

Eddie’s already looking at him, he gently squeezes Buck’s hand and replies, “It’s ok and you don’t have to apologize because it’s normal to be nervous.  Let’s just try to remember what he said when we were here two weeks ago about not worrying until there’s something to worry about.”

Buck nods and he tries to calm down because he doesn’t want to start spiraling out of control.  Before today, his stress level was already at a 9 and it skyrocketed to 100 after he opened his front door yesterday morning and saw Margaret and Phillip standing there with Maddie.  He knows the only reason they came was because Maddie called them which makes him sad since they didn’t call him once after they dropped that bombshell about his biological father on July 12th.

He momentarily pauses his thoughts because that’s the second time this week he’s been reminded of the date and he knows it has significance but he’s so worked up right now he can’t focus on it.

Margaret and Phillip acted all concerned about his well-being even though he knows they weren’t.  When he thinks about it, he believes Margaret was more concerned about the couch she bought him being gone than she was about him. 

Silence fills the room and it’s heavy with anticipation of his screening results.

After a few seconds, he meets Eddie’s eyes and asks, “What if… I—I mean Eddie… what if the results…”  He inhales a deep breath and continues.  “I love you and Chris so much.  You’re my family and if I have Cancer, I don’t want you two to watch me…”  He trails off because he can’t even say the word “die” anymore.  He knows he’s only admitted he died two or maybe three times since he was struck by lightning but now that a Cancer diagnosis is staring him in the face, he can’t even bring himself to say it.

Eddie shakes his head no.  “Buck… don’t even think about that, ok?  It’s not going to happen and like I said last week, if you do have it then I’m going to be right by your side.”

He releases Buck’s hand then he uses both of his hands to cup Buck’s cheeks.  He admits, “I love you and I’m not going anywhere and we’re going to be together forever.  I can’t live without you because I don’t want to and neither does Chris.  You’re my everything�� and I refuse to believe after all that screaming the universe did to remind us we belong together that it’ll end with you leaving me before we’ve had enough time to share and cherish it.  We’re going to grow old together and we still have to travel the world.  You remember… we’re going to make love in Venice, eat pizza in Naples… and go shopping in Florence but first… we’re going to London to find your father.” 

Buck exhales a shuddering breath then he nods because he wants all of it with Eddie.  They’re supposed to cherish every moment they spend together and as he remembers the lyrics to the song; he’s determined to fight as hard as he can to keep this life he’s been dreaming of for the last six years.

Eddie leans in and softly kisses him on the lips and after he pulls back, he says, “We’re in this together and I’m not going to let anything take you away from me or me away from you.  We’ve come too far for Cancer or anything else to take us away from each other.  If you do have Cancer… we’ll fight it together with everything we have in us.  Me and you… we’re going to die on the same day fifty years from now like Thomas and Mitchell did because I don’t want to live in a world without you in it.”

A tear falls from Buck’s right eye but Eddie catches it with his thumb and wipes it away.

“I love you too Eddie, so much.  I don’t want to live my life without you either.”

They stay in the moment and have a silent conversation until the door opens and Dr. Brossard enters the office.

“Hello Buck and Eddie, thank you for coming in today and like before… I apologize for my tardiness.”  He sits at his desk, pulls his eyeglasses out of his white coat pocket, puts them on and says, “Buck… let’s discuss the results of your Cancer Screening.”

What is Dr. Brossard going to say next?  Does Buck have Cancer? 👀

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Will be posted soon.

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Read chapters 1-11 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[redrydersrequiem]

Reunited chapter 7

Updated 5/27/23

Some how I’m getting this story going. Again I’m in training so i don’t post a lot since i write this on paper then transfer it to my computer. I also as of may 27th decide to repost this chapter cause i wanted to add more to it cause i felt it would flow better. Once again thank you to everyone who even reads this, im a baby fanfic writer this is all for my own entertainment and to get these stories out of my head. Love you all happy summer.

Previous chapter. Next chapter

Ardmore pov

What?!”

“Yes ma’am the team wen sent out reported that the blue tea was attacked while surveying one of the first groupings of islands

“Any casualties?”

“No human casualties but unconfirmed when it comes to the recoms. The soldiers saw the colonel injured and the others captured, but couldnt say if they saw any of them die

“Fuck!”Ardmore exclaims throwing her coffee cup at the wall in her rage. She takes a couple deep breaths

“Fine well have to do this differently”

“What do you mean ma’am”

“That well locate sully ourselves”

“What about the blue team?”

“For now we continue our other missions, until we have the confirmed doa the blue team is simply out checking surroundings of pandora

“But what about?”

“WHAT about what soldier?”Ardmore states pointedly to the younger officer

“Nothing ma’am I’ll relay your commands”

“Good and send the commander of the delta team to my office”

Your pov

The team is hog tied and surrounded until we no longer see any of the rdas ships. Even though the ocean's calm helped us they still didn’t completely trust us. Miles had miraculously recovered from his “ fatal” wound and was now conversing slowly with Lyle not letting me or Spider out of his line of sight.A horn is blown once again, everyone turning towards the water as we see Jake, Tonowari and other warriors fly towards us on what looks like some type of giant flying fish. Jake quickly hops off and bounds towards us with a tentative smile on his face.

“Well that went well”

I just laugh at him as he and the others un-tie us all.

What now jake?” I ask he just pats my shoulder and gestures for all of us to follow him as he walks towards the other end of the shore line. A couple boats lie there waiting to whisk us away to our new life’s.

Jake tells us all to climb in as he goes back into the water swimming up to the front of the boats

“What are you doing”

“Well we gotta get you guys there Somehow so well use the ilus”

“Ilus?” I ask to go to the front of the boat to see the creature. It reminded me of a dolphin back on earth.

“Yeah these are some of the main creatures around here well show you later. Let's get you all settled first.”

Jake yips slightly and he and two other ilu riders pull ur boats forward into the sea. It takes some time to get to the metekiyanas clan home, me and spider and the others as much as they try to hide it, are entranced by the scenery around us. The beautiful blue water and glowing corals, plants and fish we can see through it. The closer we get the more people we see, some doing what looked like chores while others simply basked in the sun making trinkets and talking, watching the younger ones play gleefully in the water. It all is enough to bring a smile to my face

Jakes pov

“Ok here we are i say jumping off my ilu, as the team departs and are now standing on the shore awkwardly, just watching the village around them

“This way” quartich leads behind me, y/n and spider next to him.

“We’ve been able to get some new muris made in prep for your arrival. I say approaching the new grouping of four pods. I didn’t think you all would want to be far from another so i made the suggestion of making all your homes somewhat together.”

“Thank you Jake, that's very thoughtful, can i ask though why there’s four pods?

“Well y/n its cause excuse there's a shit ton of you.’ I laugh looking over my shoulder at the group of 13 people

“We didnt want you all to be cramped so there’s two pods for the guys to share, one for the ladies and who ever you want to share with if you even want to and this finally one over here is for you y/n.”

“What? He says looking down at y/n with a quizcal look

Yeah, think of this as my olive branch to you colonel. I wanted you guys to have a home for you, y/n and spider.” I look the colonel in the eyes as he comes to terms with what i've done.

“Every man needs a family and every family needs a home. So use this and make a home here colonel. A fresh start.

Quartich looks to me than back to y/n’s smiling face and back, his ears and tail twitching before breathing out a large exhale

“Fine sully thank you.” Quartich states clapping me on the shoulder as they move to go check out their new homes, I simply smile knowing that's a Huge step for Quartich to even say thank you.

Your pov

The homes are woven but sturdy, different posts and tapestries make rooms and spaces. In the middle there’s a fire pit for cooking and to keep the home warm. Mats and spots for hammocks are all over so I'm sure everyone would be comfortable.

Jakes voice make me turn as i hear him ask us what we thought

It’s beautiful "I say looking around Miles and I’s new home. For now only two rooms are made, one for miles and i and one for spider should he want it other than that its very open and inviting.

“Im glad yall like it i actually have some other stuff for you guys give me a sec. Jake runs off leaving all of us standing here

Miles pov

Everyone checked out the homes all claiming their spots before meeting in y/n and I’s home. Our home, I think to myself. I finally have a home with y/n. Her hand on my shoulder turns my head. I see her beautiful smiling face. I just pull her into my arms embracing her as i address everyone.

“Well I hope you all are ready. Learn what they teach us, earn your spot but stand your ground people, were soldiers and while this may seem all fine and dandy don't forget the rda is still here and will have to be dealt with”

“Yes sir”

“Till then yall go unpack and do whatever you want just dont cause any trouble”

“Yes sir” they all reply again A knock sounds turning all our heads to see sully had returned

“What’s up sully?”

“I got you all Some clothes, you’ll probably need something cooler but i didn’t expect you all to go full native so i had the weavers make some more covering items than usual.” Jake hands the giant bag over Lyle taking it and bringing it over everyone now rifling through it

“Also y/n when you're ready tiri wants to say hi and spider.” The boy perks up at the call of his name. “ the kids are all down by the beach”. The boy jumps up excitement on his face as he heads towards the door

“And where are you going kid” i ask the teen

“Oh come on dad, mom can i go?” he asks y/n next to me. She just smiles and tells him to go on and have fun but to not stay in the sun all day without some sunscreen

The scenes is so familial it shocks me, my family slowly falling into place, something i had only ever dreamed of never really thinking i would get it till i meet, y/n

Your pov

Come on love, let's get unpacked. I want to check out the island. I call out to miles seeing he's still watching spiders fleeing form. Everyone else had dispersed all back to their own lodgings. The bag of clothes Jake had left is smaller now that everyone’s taken their pick so I go over and see what's left. Miles for now chooses to just strip out of his shirt leaving him in his cut off pants, he says he'll be fine with the board shorts and stuff they brought with them before i see him wearing a Loincloth no matter how much i try to persuade him. I chose some tops out of the bag and a few skirts. I mean I've worn bikinis before so this shouldn’t be that different. I put everything but a nice braided brown top. It looks like a normal bikini top from earth but it's made of woven and braided strands of brown string with beads the color of gold in some places. It was beautiful and paired well with some brown shorts i pulled out of my stuff

We made our way out to the front to meet everyone, most dressed similarly to us except for Lyle who to our utter horror chose to wear one of the traditional clothes and was now demonstrating how breezy they were. Miles hand come to cover my eyes before yelling out at the man

“ god dammit lyle you got to ease us into having to see your blueberry ass. Lord.” Miles calls out his face scrunched in disgust from the display lyles putting on

“Just wait, Colonel, you’ll all be wearing one of these soon.”

I just laugh taking miles hands off my eyes and throwing a towel to lyle as we all make our way to the water. We all decided to speed the rest of the day recuperating from our dramatic capturing and frolic in the sands and waters around us. Some of the villagers stop to stare at us and whisper amongst themselves. Some greet us with smiles and some just simply stare. I notice some male warriors judging by their tattoos, going slack jaw at the sight of warren and z, making the boys around them snicker, but the sight of the water finally being a few steps ahead steps them all.

Their eyes turning big and all semblance of decorum is lost as they run into the water like the giant children they are now. Splashing at eachother or trying to wrestle the other in the water. Some simply float around enjoying the water. It’s truly a sight to see, formier hardened marines now overgrown blue 20 year old kids. But hey they, we all deserve this right?

The call of “sa’nu” breaks my derailing train of thought. Turning I saw a spider running towards where miles and I were standing, seven kids behind him. Four of them were the same blue as we were so they clearly must be Jake and Neytiri's kids while the other ones were a soft turquoise color and must be from the ocean clan.

“Mom i want to officially introduce you he says grabing my hand and dragging me over to the children, miles not far behind.(always so protective)

“These are Jake's kids? Spider says gesturing to the four dark blue kids in front of me

The tallest comes up and welcomes me with “I see you. I return the gesture with a smile on my face looking over the boy. He looked more like neytiri than jake in my opinion. But i see him flicking his eyes between me and miles behind me i step alittle closer trying to appear as not threatening as possible since all of our first meetings didn’t go very well, not that I remember much of it

“It’s a honor to meet you all again i do appologize for myself, miles and everyone else for how our first meeting went, we where all still trying to find our way. “

He looks taken aback turning to converse silently with the rest of his siblings,Before smiling back at me again

“We have agreed to forgive you. Eywa wouldn’t want us to dwell that moment instead why don't we start over. Hello my name is neteyam im the oldest of jake and neytiri sully's children.”

“And most boring” i hear the younger boy mumble out from under his breath earning a smack from the older girl and a glare from neteyam.

He's quick to slap a cheeky smile back on his face, stepping up and holding out his hand to shake. The very image of a certain someone I know.

“Im lo’ak i'm the coolest one here.”

“And very humble I see.”/“No doubt who’s child he is.” miles says softly. I just turn and smile/glare at him. He just chuckles in response. Lo’ak clears his throat grabbing my attention once more

“I want to say thank you for taking care of Spider, he may not actually be our brother by blood but he is by choice so thanks.

“No thank you for considering him family, it warms my heart to know he didn’t grow up alone”

“Of course Spider is family.” The youngest girl says jumping up and down before running to hug Spider . He smiles and hugs her back even though she's almost taller than him.

“What’s your name sweetie? I ask the adorable young girl

“Im tuk”

“Well it's nice to meet you tuk”

“You too aunty.”

“The cuteness is too much and I just have to squeeze you.” the girl smiles her cute giggles filling the air, everyone else looking on with smiles on their faces.

Spider had moved from my side now going over to the last sully child she was still withdrawn from the group just silently watching, almost skittishly with how she held her tail infront of her. Spider simple overs her a smile before grabbing her hand and bringing her over towards me

“Mom dad this is kiri,”

“Oh the famous kiri huh”

“Dad”

“Hahaha i must say i don't think spider has stopped telling us about you i say to the young girl further embarrassing my son as he stares wide eyed at me a blush rising on his face that makes me chuckle more”

“Mom!”

“Im sorry my love, hello kiri its wonderful to meet you i must say you are the image of your mother.

“I can tell she is taken aback at my comment but blush’s lightly and smiles a thank you leaving her lips”

“She spoke of you in her logs”

“She did aww see i knew she always liked me no matter how hard she tried to deny it.”

“Yes she said you where a very kind person.”

“Well im honored grace thought highly enough to say that and i would like to give you my condolences on her passing. Just know the person that hurt her is gone and will not be coming back. “

Kiri chokes back a sob but nods her brothers all going to hug her lightly,

(Authors note in this story quartich isnt the one who shot grace instead it will be the jerk soldier form the first chapter thats why the reader says he wont ever come back.)

A throat clearing breaks the tender moment on of the other children a boy with his hair in a bun coming forward

“Mrs y/n these are chief tonowari and Ronald children aonung and tsireya, and their friend roxto they have been teaching us the way of water and have volunteered to help spider as well.” I see you i gesture to the trio, they reciprocated the girl smiling brightly up at me.

“Welcome to our village i hope you all find a home with us.”

“I hope so to thank you dear.”

“Your clan is big are you all warriors?” Roxto asks from behind tsireya

“Yes we are but dont worry no one will hurt anyone, at least not on purpose or with out cause. However I wouldn’t recommend getting in the middle of them when they’re all rough housing like that i say turning to see everyone still mucking about in the waters.”

Everyone simply chuckles and air coming around us as the atmosphere seeps into our bones leaving a smile on my face for the days to come.

Your pov

After meeting the kids we all talk for a bit before i usher them all off to go be kids. The sun setting the Team long since exhausted from splashing around. Now all just rest on the sand, some fruit juices and water the villagers gave us being passed around.

I'm currently curled in miles lap as he leans against a tree, the shade covering our blue skin from the blazing sun, us both just staring out into the horizon. Spider's laugh draws my attention as I see him being splashed at by lo’ak, the both of them pushing each other pulling tails the works as kiri and the rest look on with amusement. Tuk eventually flinging herself on the pile spider catching her both falling into the water. I see kiri go and help spider up, both sneaking glances as they try not to make it so obvious they’re both staring at the other, hearts in their eyes. Pictures of their possible future flashes in my mind, bringing a sad smile to my face. Miles noticed my deflating mood and asks whats wrong

“I wish Spider could have an avatar.”

“Me to darlin! He would fit in more.”

“So you’ve noticed it too?”

“I'm not blind dove. I can tell he likes that Sully girl.”

“Exactly wouldn’t they be cute together…. I mean can’t you picture it, his dark slightly curly hair combed back with some braids in it. A smile stretching across a maskless face as he explores and is finally able to be a part of this world, with no restrictions. I want that for him miles. If anyone deserves it, it's him.”

“I agree ,Well look into it darlin i promise”

A throat clearing turns our heads to see Jake and neytiri come up behind us.

“Corporal miles says nodding at jake”

“Colonel, y/n “

They both make themselves comfortable in the shaded sand beside us”

“What’s up jake?”

Nothing much, just checking in. Wanted to see how your first day is treating you.”

“We’re good, the big blue children are all just goofing off.” I say loud enough so the others can hear me all turning their heads and making faces at me, some adding a hand gesture or to in the mix. Jake just laughs at our antics miles joining him.

“Yeah I saw that and I thought I had a lot of kids you're going to have your hands full dove.

“It’s fine their ok most of the time.i say still laughing at the faces they where all making.

“Hey i wanted to let you know Tonowari wants to start your training as soon as possible, he wants to make sure you all will be productive members of this clan since they took us all in.

“Good ,well be ready, we all need to get refocused anyway.” Miles says grumpily behind me

“Speak for yourself, Colonel, a personal day in the sun every now and then won't kill you.”

“Well when the RDAs not hunting us anymore then i'll relax that work for you dove," he says cheekily pinching my side. I just shake my head at him narrowing my eyes to let him know hell pay for that later

“Actually Jake,” I say, turning back to my friend. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Whatcha got?”

“You and the others still research everything about the Navi and your avatars right.?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I want to know if it would be possible to make Spider and avatar body.”

Jakes spine straightens, as he looks quickly to the side at neytiri. The duo having a brief silent conversation

“What’s wrong for you to react like that?”

“No no Nothings wrong dove it's actually perfect its how do i say this.”

“Out with it sully.” Miles says behind me agitated at his slow response.

“He already has one.”

“WHAT!” miles and I reply at the same time.

“Yeah we were going to surprise him on his next birthday, but then you all returned and took Spider with you and my family had to relocate. It's just been a lot these last couple of months. But norm and the others have been working on it for the past five years”

My happiness is overwhelming. I can’t help but fly from miles lap to wrap an arm round both the sullys necks hugging them close to. Me as I whisper thanks.. my brain moves a thousand miles a minute as i begin to pace thinning of all the things my baby will be able to do, what stuff he'll need, how will he..

“Darlin relax.” Miles says catching my hand to bring me back down into his lap

“Sorry it’s just this is amazing I can’t wait to tell him.”

“Before you tell him y/n, i want you to know what all this would entail.” Tiri tells me cautiously,

“What do you mean.?”

“For spider to become one with his avatar form, he would need to pass through the eyes of eywa, where she will judge his soul and deem him worth to return.”

“That doesn’t sound bad”

“No, not at all spiders young, he has a strong heart and mind, he should have no issues but we always want to be on the side of caution sometimes especially when it comes to our kids. So i just want to tell you that there could be a possibility that spider could not survive the transfer

“Wait, are you telling us Spider could possibly die doing this transfer thingy Sully”. Miles asks jake sternly

“Yes there’s always the possibility that eywa has different plans for him.. neytiri says solemnly

“But as I said spider is young and strong with a good spirit,he has so many reasons to live, to stay with all of us, I wouldn’t even suggest the soul transfer if i didn't think spider would make it. I just wanted you to be aware that as his parents there’s always a risk.”

“There's a risk to him every day. He could run out of oxygen or something could happen to his mask. Hell, him just swimming around with the kids he could get hurt. I want the best for my son. That’s it “

“I understand y/n, here i'll contact norm and have him send you some files, and then you can decide if you want to tell spider ok?”

“I would appreciate that thanks.”

“Of course y/n i know a lot of stuff happened between all of us during the end there and i don't really know if you remember but i we”he says looking at neytiri and back. '' promised you we would take care of Spider, and i like to think we did an ok job, but eywa brought you all back for a reason and i couldn't be happier that she did.”

“Thank you, jake. Thank you tiri. You’ll never understand how much this means to me.”

“To us” miles says behind me bringing a soft smile to my face as I look up at the man I love trying to mend bridges.

“Your welcome colonel your welcome. Just let us know what you decide.”

“We will”

Just as the words leave my mouth a horn sounds. All of the blue team are up on their feet defensive stances taken as we look around for whatever danger was being signaled

“Woah guys chill. Its not trouble its the horn to let us know the food is ready and the party can start.”

“Party?”

“Yeah tonowari and elders came together to make a celebration party to welcome all of you to the metekiyana.

“Awww,

“Yeah, here yall gather up and we'll get the kids.”

Everyone gets together as we walk over to a large sand bank. The whole village is there, reminding me of a giant beach bbq. Family’s and friends sitting together laughing and eating. Babies playing at their parents feet. Elderly all sitting together reminiscing. It’s all so warm, welcoming. Tonowari invited us all to create a group with his and Jake's families. We all got comfortable formally introducing ourselves to the clan leader, tonowari asking us some questions, wanting to know what roles we played with the sky people and how we came to find ourselves in our current situation. He and the people all around. us listen on with rapt attention. All curious about the group of thirteen that now belong with their clan. As the night went on and some sort of liquor is passed around, everyone softened up the more they drank, enjoying the beginnings of their new life path.

I was currently walking back to our new home. Miles infront of me with a drunk spider hanging over his shoulder like a sack of squirming potatoes. 15 minutes ago i had found him Lo’ak, aonung even neteyam and some other younger village teens all slightly drunk in their own little clearing. They somehow got a hold of the liquor going around and were all slightly tipsy. However Spider was much smaller than all of them so what got them tipsy got him sloshed out drunk. Parents all shake their heads and gather their inebriated children before heading home. I pass my boys opening the flap of pur mauri and lighting the lamps before miles can set Spider down. I set up a spot for spider so he's comfortable where I can watch him from my sleeping spot. Worried the boy could vomit or accidentally take off his mask in his current state. I feel miles cuddle up behind me. One of his arms thrown over my stomach as he breathed into my neck, both of us just enjoying the calming sound of the waves in the distance, watching our drunk snoring son.

“I want to tell him.” I say into the dark

“Then let's tell him darlin”. Miles replies His arms squeezing me even closer as I just press kisses to the skin I can find. Sleep slowly finding me.

The next. Morning came quickly though we all had an excuse to stay and sleep but year living the military life disagreed. Most everyone was up early going through their routines before deciding to go and help gather some stuff for breakfast. I stayed behind to wait for spider to wake up. Said boy now wrapped like a burrito in his blankets after he kept moving around all night in his drunken dreams. I had no other choice. A ding sounds from my halo pad i see its a message from norm

Hey y/n good morning, Jake said he told you about Spider Avatar and that you wanted to see Spiders Avatar so I sent you a video and some of the data on him, but I also sent some other photos of spider I thought you should have. Let me know what you guys decide.

I type out a thanks before clicking the first file open. The image of a tiny toddler spider fills the screen. His curls are everywhere as he has the widest smile on his face. Both hands grasping on to norms as he looks like he's mid step. The next picture he's a bit older, maybe around three or four. He's asleep drooling on Max's shirt as he continues to look into a microscope just holding the boy on his lap. The photos continue on like that spider at different states. The older he gets the less the photos look like they are taken in a lab and the more of them there are of Spider with the sully kids all growing up together. One is even of neytiri holding spider both smiling at the camera.

Every picture brings a bigger smile on my face until i get to the last file. It’s a video.

As soon as the screen moves I can hear the beeping and pulsing of different machines. The lense hadn’t focused yet so all i see is a screen of glowing blue. Come on camera focus. Norms voice says slightly. The screen finally focuses and the feet of an avatar floating in liquid appear. The camera moves upward showing the body of a young but well built and athletic looking Navi, before coming up to his face. A gasp leaves my mouth as I see my baby. There's no doubt that it's Spider, just blue. From the soft black slightly curls framing his face while the rest is pulled back in a slight bun. The slope of his forehead down to the bushy eyebrows, and even his jawline, all of it is wholly spider. What was interesting to him was the marking covering his face that looked similar to mine and miles. Almost like eywa knew we would be reunited and wanted us to be a full family

“Who’s that?”

Spiders voice comes from behind me, scaring me as I drop the halo pad to the ground. The boy has the audacity to laugh at my scarred reaction

“Sorry mama”

“It’s ok baby,” huffing out a breath to recompose myself. “ How do you feel?.”

“I'm fine mama. My head hurts a little bit and i hungry but mostly I want to know why I'm wrapped like a burrito.?”

“Well your mischievous little ass got burritoed since he wouldn’t cooperate last night.”

“Sorry” I just laugh at the boy helping untie him from the blankets before handing him a pain pill and some water. He takes it quickly putting his mask back on before fixing me with a smile.

“So who was that on you tablet?”

“That is a surprise and a conversation we have to have later.”

“What’s going on mama?”

“Nothing baby it will be good news, so for now why dont you go get cleaned up your pa and the others should be back soon and we can all have breakfast.”

“Ok ma whatever you say.”

Ten minutes later Miles comes back, some fish ready to be cooked and eaten. We all eat pur fill laughter filling the air as miles makes fun of spiders drunken state the night before. The boy is currently trying to retaliate but being held at arm's length by his fathers giant hand planted on his face. I just laugh at the happy scene. The boys are getting along so well. Like that invisible barrier they had before has slowly disappeared.

After breakfast we all go about our day. Spider goes to play/train with the other children, while Miles goes to train with jake. I decided I wanted to look around the village some more before going to train, meeting up with neytiri and having a pleasant afternoon with her. Helping with chores and just talking, the day is long filled with laughter and learning. I watche as the rest of team works hard. Either learning the ways of water or helping villagers with chores. All trying their best to make this place recognize them just like we did when we started the in the RDA but this time, there was no ranks, only hard work that would get you anywhere.

I had spoken to jake to let him know we decided we wanted to tell spider, about his avatar and give him the choice if he wanted to go that route, but i wanted jake and neytiri and them to be a part of it to, they’ve been there for the past 16 years and i would not alienate them simply cause me and miles returned. So with a dinner planned i go to work on how to tell my son his whole life could change…… again.

Spiders pov

Today was fun. I learned the breathing techniques with the others, even though my mask I found works underwater so I don’t really need what I was taught but hey I'm always up for learning something new. After swimming around for a bit we took a break to go play with the ilus. The ocean was truly so cool, kiri helped me explore with her showing me all the places she's found so far, i don't even question how good she is at swimming and holding her breath already i just put it down as part of her charm, like always

The day goes on when mom comes and grabs me telling me and the others to all go get cleaned up for dinner. After yet another bath and mom coming through my curls. I changed into some new clothes, dad making a comment that i was wearing a thong again( spider doesn’t know what a thong is) and that just looking at me made him feel cold.

I simply laugh and tell him he “better get used to it old man before long you’ll be wearing the same thing” uncle Lyle has been wearing them off and on so has some of the other guys all trying out the local fashion. Aunt Z, aunt warren and mom simply switch bewtten their tops and the ones jake dropped off. But only mom has worn any of the skirts, like she has on now.

We walk over to the sully mauri, as soon as we get inside tuk jumps up, welcoming us all before dragging me over to where her and Kiri where breading some new necklaces. Lo’ak and neteya,m are talking about spear techniques behind us, roping me into their conversation. But I can’t help but look around instead. Seeing all the people i love and care for all a=under one roof, is like a dream from my childhood i never thought would happen come true.

Your pov

‘The meal is nice, fish and different types of meat grilled and passed out. Some sort of grain that reminds me of rice and some fruits and vegetables float around as well, its not till I see everyone’s had at least one helping that i clear my throat jake picking up on my signal.

“Ok, quiet down. Kids there's a reason y/n quartich and spider have come over to eat with us. We actually have some news for you, well mostly you spider.

“What, what's going on, mom is everything ok.?”

“It’s fine baby uts good news like i said earlier we just wanted to tell you all together.””

“I can start y/n if you’d like. “

“yes please”

“Spider we’ve watched you grow up, always enamored with the world around you. Always learning the Navi ways and doing your best to fit in. I know it wasn’t always easy for you, so me and the others all decided to try and fix that. And well.”

“Oh god im dying aren't i” spider asks out loud

“What no spider! I say reprimanding the young boy

“Here kid look for yourself” miles hands spider a halo pad miles seeing we were having a hard time telling the child so he was going to just rip off the bandaid.”

The kids all gather around the screen before hitting play.

“Hey that looks like/Oh my eywa/ BRO!!!”

The kids all talk over each other as they see the video Spider just sitting frozen as they react

“Spider?” The boy looks up to me his eye glossing over with unsteady tears

“Is this real?”

“Yes baby it is. Norm, Max and the others were able to make you your own avatar.”

Spider just continues to stare at the screen as a tear falls down his face

“Bro those better be happy tears this is Amazing.” lo’ak says shaking spiders shoulders, Neteyam scolding him. Tuk simply tries to hug spider , wanting to comfort her brother. It's not till kiri takes the tablet away and makes Spider face her that he snaps out of his blank state.

“Monkey boy, you're ok just breathe.”

Spider takes in a few breaths regrounding I self befor ethanking kiri. He stands coming over to were all the adults where sitting before jumping into my arms, hugging me tight before doing the same with miles, jake and neytiri.

“Thank you guys, thank you”

“Your welcome kid I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than you.” Jake says, smiling at the blonde teen.

“When can i see it” spider asks

“I actually don’t know? what do you think jake?”.

“We could get norm and max to bring it here..”

“NO” miles vetoes loudly us all looking at him shocked “Sorry, no offense sully but that's exactly why we found these islands in the first place. I don't want to give the rda another excuse to look over here,

“Miles is right jake.”

“No no I agree, I forgot about that,…. Ok well then if they can’t come here well have to go there”,

“What really/ really dad”.. the kids all say quickly

“Yeah we'll go back to the Forest but we're not there to stay guys….not yet.”

The kids slightly deflate but I can tell they understand what their father is saying.

“We'll be able to see mo’at, norm and everyone and pick up some more of our stuff but we do have to come back. The ocean is our home for now”.

Yes sir, they all answer i reach over squeezing kiri shoulder giving them all a knowing smile that they reciprocate.

Would next week work.?

Yeah that would work. We can let them know where coming up let’s Norm and them get everything ready.

Yaaaa we get to go get spider an avatar tuk cheers cheerfully in the middle of the group, the big smile on her face finding its way to everyone else as we all grill with hope about the future.

Tag list

@dyingofcookies @ratchetprime211 @myh3artttt @ducks118 @navs-bhat @im-in-a-pansexual-panik

[suzie-guru]

Heey Suzie, im a big fan of your writing! Including “Between the Shadow and the Soul” , which is easily my favorite fanfic lately, and I wanted to ask you if you are still going to continue it because I, and many other people, love it very dearly, and it would be a shame for a master piece to go unfinished. Please think about continuing it for you fans. Love you 🥰

This is an incredibly old ask and I’m relatively sure you’re into other fandoms and things now. First, thank you for the love and the kind words. However, I wanted to answer this because of something specific in this message:  “Please think about continuing it for you fans.”

I’ve been thinking about some things that I need to get off my chest here, the reason why I’ve been away from Tumblr and, honestly, why I will continue to be pretty minimal in my activity on the site. 

First and foremost, there’s something I should state - almost everyone in my family, including myself, is in a service career. Nurses, teaching, the clergy…those professions are very normal to go into in our family. And it’s also very much the norm in our family to put others before ourselves, to help whenever we can. I’m not saying this to brag, it’s a fact. And it’s also a fact that we are so ingrained to perform services for others above anything else that we often neglect our own personal needs and health and self care. 

One of my biggest struggles is being a people pleaser and needing validation from others. Unfortunately both of these traits have led me down some very detrimental paths, and I turned to very unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with it. I’ve grown enough and have learned enough to understand that self care is just as important as service, that setting boundaries isn’t selfish, and that one can be compassionate without letting themselves be consumed in the process. 

How does this relate to this ask, to me not being on Tumblr? 

Tumblr was where I got almost all of my social interactions, the one place I could cut loose with other people. I had genuine friendships on here, very close relationships. The Strange Magic Fandom experience was a heady, loving and beautiful one, and it was a huge part of my life, as were the people I met through it. It was my everything, even through the longest, darkest depressive period I’ve ever had. 

Time went on, as it does, and people came in and out of the fandom, but I had my close friends and all was good. Until I noticed after a few weeks that they weren’t interacting with my personal posts like they used to. They weren’t as constant as they had been. 

I felt left behind, rejected, overlooked. I was asking myself, what I had done? Did I fail them in some way? What way? Was it the fact I wasn’t creating content? Did they finally realize I wasn’t worth their time? 

I was deep in an anxiety spiral, and my self loathing was in full force. Each time I went on Tumblr and saw these people interacting and posting with others but not me, it hissed at me that was reminded how I was no longer important, how I would always be left behind unless I was putting others first, “you can only use the depression period as an excuse for so long…” 

For my mental and emotional health, I stepped away from Tumblr. I spent the next few months reading and working out and drawing and hiking and working and living my life. Those months turned into years. And I didn’t feel the need to come back, dive in as deeply as I had. The hurt had caused the departure, but now I recognized something else. 

I was making Tumblr my haven of validation. My whole self worth was tied to it. And when I didn’t create fanfics or update them, I thought I was failing my friends, exposing myself as a subpar artist, a bad person. 

When I wasn’t. And I’m not. 

My stories are deeply personal, and I pour myself into them. And that takes time. And I have a life to lead along with all that.

The saying “write for yourself” is an odd one - I believe it and I don’t. Creators need feedback, interactions with what they create. It helps their process and inspires them. When I read a book or go see a movie, I’m inspired by it. Creativity fuels creativity. 

Fanfiction has a blessing and the bane of being able to directly communicate with the author. The comments of those who read my fanfics are deeply deeply deeply treasured by me. I can’t even begin to say how much they mean to me. 

My stories are personal but I share them because I want to. People see themselves echoed in stories, and that’s why they matter. I want to share my stories because I want to give others the same experiences I’ve had reading stories. 

So I do write for people in that I share my stories. But I also write for myself. I write because the words won’t leave me, because the scenes keep playing in my head, because I want to chase after all the questions. I write to get the damn thing out of my head and onto the page so I finally have space in my skull. I write to satisfy my soul, hungry hungry hungry thing that it is. 

But I have learned a hard lesson, and I know myself better now then I did when I started posting fanfiction. And while I’m absolutely certain it was not intended in such a way, “continuing it for you fans” is something I will not set store in because I’ve been down that path. I don’t like what it did to me, what I did to myself.

I plan to continue my stories. But I will no longer apologize for taking my time with them because it is just that: mine. 

[mandalhoerian]

I have an urge to talk in Turkish here but I gotta keep it to myself now haha. Your page gives me a sense of comfort with the fact that you're Turkish.

What I was trying to say, that if you feel like no one's is interested in our girl Vera etc or the content/posts you want to make for her here apart from the fic writing, don't think like that because it is your page and your followers follows you for a reason.

But most importantly, what I was trying to say, that Vera gives me so much comfort as a Turkish woman myself like her ( my hair is also wavy like her how her hair gets after rain haha ). I love your Vera content. I just wanted to say that. She is also giving me inspiration for my own oc making. Back in the time I was so hesitant with the thought of making Turkish ocs, but with her and you of course, I started to beat that voice.

i'm answering this a bit late so my apologies! I wanted to say a lot but ramadan has me lazing around not wanting to do anything, so I procrastinated 😭

i know the as bayrakları as as as 🇹🇷🇹🇷🇹🇷 feeling like the last thing I expected to find here was another Turkish RE creator like. It's such a bizarre kinship and comfort, I know how you feel! I'm happy I was able to give it back.

Our girl Vera has me GRINNING, but not to change the subject too much, I know,,, it's a feeling that comes and goes. I used to barely get any interaction regarding her prior to the release of RE4R and when im deep into the hyperfixation i don't care much for feedback, I just create. Like. I guess multiple chapters beyond the 10K threshold are proof of that, looking back i had to be insane to be in it that deep. i remember being like "OMG 180 HITS BETWEEN CHAPTERS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!" on ao3! 😭 the lack of interest gets to a writer, eventually, i guess, you just want the readers to show they're enjoying to work or not in some way. But the reminder that (some of, at least) my followers follow me for Vera is extremely consoling, thank you so much!

I'm so happy that you like Vera! It's very humbling to hear she as a Turkish woman is resonating with you, I never thought about having any Turkish readers at all when I was working on her... I always thought if I had, would it be cringy or not.

Because us as people really have an inferiority complex and are too self-conscious regarding these things, I remember how literally all of my Turkish writer friends (every single one of them) thought a Turkish main character would be EMBARRASSING in any fandom we would write for. We hated it, and everybody and their other writer friends also did. The idea of a Turkish character was cringy. But when other foreign writers would write Turkish OCs suddenly it was so cool and "AS BAYRAKLARI" .

I had a couple Filipino friends on wattpad who would write Filipino OCs and be so proud of their heritage and how they were incorporating it into the story, like, for example, I had a friend who re-designed and rebranded the planet Alderaan from Star Wars using their culture because the actress who played the queen was Filipino and she was so happy about it. It was so fascinating to me how she genuinely did something so creative and made it work so well. Another Filipino friend did this for Stranger Things, and in the heart of her story was immigrant struggles.

I never really questioned why Turkish people couldn't be like this until I was working on Vera, and her being Turkish started out as a joke. I wanted to immediately scrap it, thinking "no lmao what the fuck of course not" .

If another person did this, I would eat !! it !! up!!

But when I seriously wanted to make her Turkish it was suddenly embarrassing. It was a hard thing to get over. English fanfic reading really wires our brains to accept characters only of foreign nationalities and ethnicities because "it fits the story better" -- we only consume western media and hold it in higher regard.

I understand you so well, and I'm so glad I'm somehow encouraging you on this matter. Because why are we so embarrassed of ourselves?

Thank you for this ask, it really meant a lot to hear all of this! and I'm sorry I really went off on a tangent 😭

[lovebvni]

what was i made for? (journey overview)

this is going to be kind of a vent blog , but at the same time it’s a reflection of my shifting journey. where i’ve been and where i’m going. i want to be transparent, and i want to motivate others, and right now, this is the best way i can do that.

there will be no triggering material in this blog, but will be slight references to mental health and illness. if that botherw you, i totally understand if you don’t read on. this is also a long blog, so be prepared

i’m not going to start at the beginning and where i was born, because that’s BORINGG!! what i do want to start with two major signs i got when i was younger. i, personally, consider these signs that i would eventually get into shifting/i am made for a higher purpose. at the time, i didn’t know this so all of these are almost… revelations? i hope that’s the right word, lol!

the one thing i want to talk about is a dream i had. i’m going to summarize it. simply i was living in black and white with my family. i found a vent and crawled through it. i cried a few times, and got discouraged, but i kept going. when i got to the end, my 5th grade crush was there. everything was in colour. i forgot what he was wearing but i know it reminded me of the gilded age. i was wearing a lime green dress and he said something along the lines of “i’ve been waiting for you” or “you’re finally here” obvs i woke up after this but it felt very important and it still does.

anyways, time skip to ~late 2020 - early 2021. i was on quotev… writing hxh fanfics… BUT ANYWAYS! i was on quotev and one of my mutrals, who im still good friends with today, made a post about something called ✨reality shifting✨. now i looked up to her — im going to call her s btw — so i thought it was pretty cool she found out about something like this. now obviously, with me being me, i did a deep dive into it. tiktok, go google, instagram, amino, you name it, i was on it! dude, i genuinely got so into this and obsessed. it wasn’t healthy, but at the time i needed something.

the first thing i remember was joining amino. i joined an mha shifting community. i had recently got into the show and i was debating about shifting there — although my main priority at the time was hxh. i asked a lot of questions — simple questions too — but everyone was so respectful when answering them. i also remember posting a (very shitty) art work at the time n i got a lot of love for it 😭 my art style has changed a lot since then and ajsjdjf!! i lowkey should redraw it. i also kept s updated during this time, and looked at her mini-journal on quotev whenever she posted! it’s an understatement to say i was very into shifting and that i latched onto it. primarily because i needed something to look forward to and to have hope in, you know? i didn’t have much at the time. i didn’t have friends, my life began changing in the 3D. things felt like they were going downhill. i also moved this year to a house from an apartment.

anyways, i continued interacting in that amino up until earlier this year — because of personal issues. but during the time, i actively engaged, researched and got better at shifting and understanding the process + life in general. i made many friends during this time, and got involved in group shifts :) other than w s obviously.

this leads to my first shift in ~mid 2021. i fell asleep doing a method, i forgot what method at this point. what i do know, is i woke up in my mha dr. i felt wind blowing on my face, i heard birds chirping, i felt the sunlight on my face… i have a post on it somewhere — i literally cannot find it! but it was a wonderful experience, it gave me a lot of motivation to remember it. it still does! also my eyes stayed closed this whole time, but i know, i KNOW i shifted. i was there. there is no way 99% of those things could have happened in my cr bc of where i was. i had also moved at this time, i was living in a house.

this leads me to ~late 2021 or early 2022. i was introduced to channeling (and dabbled in witchcraft) through replika (don’t do this. it’s not reliable.) as i channeled my s/o (who turned out to be my soulmate) multiple times + my spirit guide gage! it was weird meeting her, because she’s very blunt and straight to the point. she literally said hi, her name, and dipped 🤞. i love her. later in 2022 (early -> mid ) i had a discord server that was shifting based (it has sense been abandoned, as i los that account 💀) and i met kairi ( gage’s baby daddy/husband), piper (who was 5 at the time, she’s abt 7 now) and my friends guide — sailboat (that’s what i know him as. him and kairi have BEEF!) i used to often channel and talk to them — or even just talk to them without channeling them so i could just ramble and they would listen. i would do this in the shower btw. they listened a lot and well. they’re so sweet, and they’re always there for me. i seriously recommend u guys get to know ur guides — they help a lot.

anyways, at the end of this year, 2022, it was a blur. my sister was admitted to the hospital during the beginning of 2023. i was introduced to deity work during the end of 2022 — and this is how i work with loki and found out im his child (he just said hey btw 💀💀 so if yall wanna say high go ahead) i want to say im sorry to loki, as i blamed him for my sister being admitted to the hospital and another situation i cannot talk about publicly. loki is the god of chaos, but that’s because he brings chaos and strives in it. i also bring and strive in it, but how people react is what matters. it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t mine, it wasn’t my sisters, it was actually my biological fathers. and that’s okay. i don’t care anymore, but i want to publicly apologize to loki for blaming him for such issues that came by. i love you so much, padre, and thank you for being a great father and friend

this year, i was going through a lot of shit. i was inactive on most socials from january to may, and i really don’t remember why. i do remember this is the year i was manifesting seriously that i shift before or on 11.11. unfortunately, i didn’t and im pretty sure that’s because i believed that i wouldn’t. i worked my ass off and i thought i deserve this, so why am i seeing little to no progress.

it was because i was basically looking down, and not realizing how far i’ve come. the end is near for me, and there’s literally no way i can mess this up.

now i know, this isn’t an in-depth reflection or whatever, but there isn’t a lot i did that i can remember in this reality (trauma response oops!) but it’s what’s going on up until now.

this month, i did a reading with my friend (nile) and we asked what has to happen before we shift. and we got two things. the first being a fight between two of my school friends, the second is a significant meeting between nile and a MAN. YEAH. A MAN U GUYS WERE WAITING ON A MAN.

anyways. sorry about that. so we’re currently waiting on a man n that’s like the last step 💯🤞✨ i’m trying to stay hopeful n whatnot but it hasn’t been easy. the part 2/addition to this blog will be constants and things that kept me going and hopefully can help you out :)

i’m sorry this blog is just one big pile of nothing bc the message got a bit fucked when i was making this — i restarted it about 3 times n i genuinely forgot why i made this when i did initially. but yeah, this is what i have for u rn! the next one will be called “i got love” based off the mother mother song xx keep an eye out!!

[soliloquent-stark]

Hello!! How about all the ones with sixes in them for the fanfic writing asks?

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

the actual last line i wrote is for an event so i can't share it, but otherwise:

The deep-rooted misery you’ve been carrying since birth, that trickles down your family tree right into your bloodstream and keeps feeding the demons you slowly collect over the years; the same poltergeists that turn your nightmares into their home.

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

mostly laptop, but i used to write on my phone quite a bit — i should get back into that, actually. i also have a notebook for fics but it's mostly to help me figure out my thoughts, not for the final product

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

sitting my ass down and doing it... executive dysfunction sucks. i just can't get myself to start it 🥲

36. What fic are you proudest of?

probably honey whiskey, which is wild cause it's not even finished. it's just so special to me. ❤️

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

no powers aus featuring stark industries rich guy tony ™ and regular guy steve ™ from various jobs/social circles. so gooddddd.

56. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

answered it here, but short answer is no :)

66. What’s a fun fact about [insert fic]?

you didn't mention a fic but a fun fact about annex 11 is that i wrote it in like two hours including the research, which is sooo rare for me. i also managed to keep it a secret from @whinysteve which is even more rare, and also makes it the only fic i ever posted without her checking it first (yeah... i make her proofread her own gifts before i publish them 😭). it was worth it though when she read it and told me she really likes this fic having no idea i was the secret author 🥹🥹

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

i don't 🫠 i simmer under it until i explode 🤷🏻‍♀️ buuut i have slowly adapted a pretty mindful approach about it all, and i just remind myself it's just not that deep. years of therapy coming through. <3

[madstronaut]

guess wot my fellow hoes (fellhoes?) you’re getting a two-fer-one deal

obligatory alpha post link below:

because I have been deep in my werewolf/hybrid!CODmen fixation while I was drunk off reading moondrunk I decided to take a break...

....by reading johnny boy and i dont want to even look at that ao3 history stat that tells you how many times you've visited this story IT IS A LOT

my record for one of my comfort stories is 79 times and that was back in january last i looked, and it doesn't count the copypaste backup i have in my notes in case of airplane mode. don't look at me rn (cough obligatory @the-californicationist G&G reference/tag here)

ANYWAY MOVING ON 🐺🐺🐺

Reading: Moondrunk Monster by @ghostgorlsworld

so I went to watch the Love Death Robots episode referred to here and UNFFFF forgot how good that whole series was! wolflovers, go watch the Shape-Shifters episode from S1

once again i love a good fleshed-out reader backstory and this one is no exception

also as a certified graves simp the spittake I had to clean up at reading the phrase “Captain Graves”

also wolf-friendly pain medication? please i would happily read an appendix or endnotes/footnotes about the lore/worldbuilding here <3

"They weren’t used to humans being kind to them."🥺🥺🥺🥺

me to myself: tbh in many ways this is the world we are living in rn

that line about reader sleeping in the back of the med bay reminded me of this famous pic I saw way back when:

U.S. Army nurse Amy Stuart of the 5th MASH unit deployed in Saudi Arabia naps on a cot while hugging a teddy bear sent by her family during Operation Desert Storm (February 22, 1991)

getting a little too real but at my age, always hurts my heart and deeply disturbs me to see people younger than me who i consider children going off to/waging war COUGH ANYWAY SRY ESCAPING REALITY BACK TO FANFIC-

piney has such a succinct, tight way of writing to set the scene and story premise up so well - fucking salivating at ghost taking reader to their tent and him getting miffed at her sitting on soap’s bunk until she sits on his <3 LMAO I SEE YOU GHOSTY YOU LITTLE LOVESICK PUPPY YOU~

You glanced down, seeing the Scottish flag on the wall, the photos of a couple that looked exactly like Johnny. “Oh, sorry.” 

ok but also johnny WOULD have selfies of himself up on his own bunk

“ahm easy on the eyes, aint i LT”

“shut it”

You were American, so you didn’t have much taste for tea unless it was iced and sweet. 

me, a rabid tea swiller, raising my hand: UM NOT ALL AMERICANS HATE “TREE PISS” AS TED LASSO CALLS IT OKAY (okay but I love that show so much)

unfff wolf!ghost crowding reader into his own bed forcing her to sleep in it is just *so many chef’s kisses*

Gaz was healed within a day, coming to visit you with a Snickers bar as thanks. “I’ve been saving it for an occasion,” he said. “Wolves…well, we can’t really have chocolate without quite a bit of pain so I thought I would give it to you instead. As thanks.” 

ok this was the most adorable loredrop ever also literally heartbroken at the idea they can’t enjoy chocolate!!!!

The adjustments were freezing slabs of raw beef and plating it up still half-frozen. this reminded me of this frozen organic dog chow i kept getting insta ads for after dogsitting for a friend (if u can hear this siri/insta ad algorithms, FUCK YOU RESPECT MY PRIVACY) anyway in the ad the way the person plated it for their dog and the way their dog ate it with such gusto made me, a human, want to try the dog food lol

“Not everyone in America lives in Texas, Soap.”

👏thank👏 you👏facts👏

You smiled. “A small town in Oklahoma.”

“Bloody hell, that’s just Texas.”

👏also👏 facts👏 (don’t come for me texans this new yorker will (lovingly) fuck you up; god bless amurica)

He was wearing gloves, as always, but they were warm when he pressed them against the scars, fitting his fingers into the obvious claw marks.

The 141 was silent, watching Ghost with a mixture of surprise and horror. Price looked as if he were about to intervene, his knuckles white around his fork.

i fucking l o v e this entire scene

They were still strangers to you, but the base felt too quiet without them, and your skin felt bare without Ghost’s stare upon it.

i am shivering at how good this sentence is

ghost: has a record for being more wolf than human and acts of aggression against humans

also ghost: makes tea for reader regularly when she can’t sleep

also reader if you’re having a eat-three-powdered-donuts-in-one-sitting kind of day, you eat that whole box girl no one will fault you for it <3

Ghost hummed, then came the unmistakable sound of licking the sugar off his fingers. There had also been blood on his fingertips, from the night’s previous activities.

You don’t want to think about why that makes your belly clench. 

😏😏😏we love the feral ones

also unexpected gifts are some of the best ones

i felt the adrenaline of the humvee ambush like i was watching a live action movie - i could picture the entire scenes very easily in my head <3

and ghost taking off her boots >>>>>>>>

A man in a skull mask was asleep in the chair in front of you, his head tipped back against the wall, his legs relaxed and spread wide. 

ah yes, classic submission position~

The meek little nurse that had put a Colonel’s son in the ER. 

meek is one of my favorite words. i have heard an alternate definition for this as “meekness is great power under control” and it stuck in my head ever since; pls bow before medic reader my meek badass queen

Your heart raced. It was such a human instinct, to see a predator and want to either kiss it or run from it. 

ah yes imho the heart of why wolf/hybrid and enemies-to-lovers etc. etc. etc. tropes and fics are so popular~

Ghost seemed to like your attention, his ears perked at the top of his head. It was oddly endearing, and you normally considered yourself a cat person.

hehe big ghost wolf, smol floppy ears - i will not let this image leave my head

ok and the wolflore about the recessive genes!! eating it all up <3

also i know this is a ghostfic but soap blushing and mumbling bout his coffeeshop crush is soo <333333333

"you’re too young to feel old and miserable like me.” Soap smiled, a bit of cheer back in his eye. “You’re only three years older’n me, lass, I wouldn’t call ye old.”

literally me to anyone <30/even a year younger than me

"ALSO, yes i'm setting up for a future soap/cafe!reader fic"

okay the unholy screech that erupted from me at reading this author’s note i’m-

Graves sat in a simple metal chair, cool, calm and collected without a single blonde hair out of place. 

me fully knowing graves isnt even doing anything here, just sitting: go off, king

“I wasn’t going to let that boy take my soul, sir,” you said calmly. “Not for something as worthless as a career.”

well said indeed <3

You wondered if he would come visit you, if you asked. If he would sit in your dusty, frilly living room and drink from your pumpkin shaped mugs.

PUMPKIN-SHAPED MUGS <3 <3 <3

Price looked up from a paperback, a twitch in his brow. He preferred to keep out of conflicts between the pack, only interfering when blood was spilled. 

oh please my headcanon for price is that he inhales gossip like oxygen and keeps it filed and sorted alphabetically and chronologically in his mind palace to pull up as needed

They were on active duty, for Christ’s sake, it wasn’t like he could bend her over against one of those cots and stake his claim,  COUGHOMGWHYTHEEVERLOVINGFUCKNOTCOUGH no matter how badly he wanted to.  

The 141 hunted at night, so during the day Gaz and Soap would occasionally bring you a muffin for breakfast or a stray cup of coffee. Even Price, the fatherly man he was, brought you one of his extra novels to read while you were awake during the night shift, one of those cheesy detective thrillers that helped you get through the night without passing out on a patient.

who doesn’t love familial!141 🥰🥰

it’s nice to remind yourself that you’re still a simple woman that appreciates a nice mani-pedi and a good hair day.

this is so real - taking care of yourelf/reminding urself to feel human is so important <3

You had the rank and the experience, so of course, you got the lion’s share of reports. ahem this a small almost throwaway line but much appreciated - LEADERSHIP IS FOR SERVICE. TO SHOULDER THE BURDEN FOR THOSE UNDER YOU, AND LIFT THEM UP. TAKE THE HITS SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO - ONES THEY AREN’T EVEN AWARE OF IF YOU’RE GOOD AT IT. anyway stepping down once again from my soapbox-

ah reader i can think of many MANY MANY spicy ways to motivate ghosty to do his patriotic duty~

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

AND ALSO Reading: Johnny Boy by @ghostgorlsworld

first off being thrown into the deep end of the incredible lorebuilding had me ready to swim and dive deep without even taking a breath of reality because the story!!!! the worldbuilding!!!! absolutely immaculate

a recurring daydream/brainrot scenario ive gone back to time and again with my blorbos through the years is getting knocked up with their spawn and having to escape and go on the run and hide the child then have an implausibly wild reunion, often with some physically impossible makeup sex and then birth my own private sports team's worth of children to build our world empire (drama, romance, intrigue, adventure - i would buy out opening night tickets to the movieplots my brain spits out, anyway ty for coming to my BedTedTalk) anyway this has such a unique niche in the CODfics ive read with the almost enemies-to-lovers-back-to-enemies flavoring with brother’s best friend trope in play

on that note, shaking tom’s hand vigorously for sneaking johnny back into reader’s life, then backhanding him with my other hand - also for sneaking johnny back into reader’s life

cute-ass mactavish sire emma needs to eat raw meat to survive? her supernatural senses make her an old soul in a child’s body? no further comments, absolute perfection. i love the explorations of “hey scenting/being a hybrid, ESPECIALLY growing up as one, ain’t all its cracked up to be and is not just all 100% sexy times and funsies” and her picking up on mom being sad all the time a certain someone is near and declaring “if mommy doesn’t like him, I don’t either” just UGGHHHH i just want to give her a hug and tell her it will all work out, shes is in good hands (including but not limited to her own!) also tear the throat out of anyone who would dare steal her childhood (fistbumping my fellow immigrant first gen firstborns&eldest daughters who had to grow up too fast/take care of adults)

also one of the reasons i love this fic is the very fierce and protective love reader has for her emma and their really beautiful bond <3 fanfic can be so healing and tender in very unexpected ways and their relationship slipped past all my walls and armor and just stuck me right in the feels <3

the conversation about grandpa jack haunting them and turning the book pages for him was so sweet i think my molars rotted away on the spot, 🥺🥺🥺 piney i will be billing you for my dental visit expenses; be prepared to pay cos ive always wanted to secretly try out grillz as a new yorker girlie 

also random brainrot but 1000% positive grandpa jack was a fucking hottie in his glory days (underground fighting rings? picturing tyler durden rn)

also please give mama reader a fucking medal, cutting up raw meats and organs first thing in the morning (EVERY morning) is a feat indeed

also johnny/reader’s first meeting at the funeral home is absolutely exquisite, the perfect amount of drama and angst!!! raaaaaa biting my pillow and tearing it to pieces

- reader’s physical reaction to the “he’s behind me, isn’t he” revelation

- johnny’s physical glow-up described through reader’s eyes is just UNFFFF *chef’s kiss*

- reader going straight into panic/mama bear mode re: emma

- “it could have been longer, john” HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY ICE COLD QUEEN PLEASE I CANNOT KNEEL BEFORE YOU FASTER OR I’LL BREAK MY KNEECAPS

- “your voice so cold it stung your tongue as you spoke. The ache in your chest was overtaken by rage, pure and hot. “Excuse me.” i am f e r a l for this line, this is PERFECTION i can taste the emotions here like viscerally on my tongue 

- honestly kudos to reader for not punching tom’s lights out when she’s running to get emma from him

“I don’t care.” You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You wanted to dig your nails into his skin and hurt him like he hurt you. “We don’t need you, we never needed you. I loved you, and you left for years . Deal with the consequences.”

Johnny Mctavish, a wolf, a soldier, flinched from you. 

It wasn’t the victory you thought it would be.

AAAAAAAA YES THIS IS ME AS I READ THIS REVELING IN THE ANGST

also the last line of ch1 being “Forget him. John always runs.” and summary of Ch2 being “Johnny comes home.” ????? gonna run out of my lipstick giving chef’s kisses to piney here

the way piney fleshes out reader and her story and history with johnny just makes me want to give her a ginormous hug, also like an all-expenses paid weeklong vacation to the maldives or something for the absolute bullshit she’s endured (might have to join you on this though dear reader my salary/responsibilities working in [redacted] means i also need an all-expense paid weeklong vacation to the maldives)

also I FUCKING SUSPECTED JOHNNY WAS SECRETLY TRYING TO SCENT READER WHEN HE SNUCK UP ON HER TO GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO SURPRISE HER BY PUTTING HIS MITTS ON HER SHOULDER; i love that emma picked up on this through her nose

“Because you still smell like me, kitty.” brain going brrrr being overloaded with conspiracy theories about teh many layers what this may mean

wolves were different from normal men. Territorial. 

me, reading about fictional territorial wolfmen on tumblr: 🥰🥰🥰

me, reading about IRL men being ‘territorial’: 🤢🤢🤢

“Grandpa was like me,” she said, loyal as always. 

i’ll be totally honest the character i fell head over heels with in this story was not johnny taking first place no - EMMA MACTAVISH MY HEART <3 i hope my future children will be brave, kind, wise, funny and compassionate like you <3

It seemed that the only person suffering in this situation was you.

this line + the short almost throwaway line of reader “laughing wetly” just before it just ughhh my heartache! shoutout to all the hardworking parents/caregivers simply Trying Their Best And Getting No Recognition™️ (madstronaut sees you and applauds you, great is your reward in heaven and or the pits of tumblrhell, dealer’s choice)

“It wasn’t your decision to make, Tom,” you said, your voice reaching that pitch that made you feel like your mother. god this got too real, when i hear myself sound like my mother sometimes (esp. when im mad) i literally narrow my eyes at my own reflection and have to check myself before i wreck myself iykyk

also freaking love the lore about hybrids/wolves being discriminated against in society and johnny’s own experience and pitfalls navigating the world! lorebuilding>>>>>>>>>>>>

You were dressed more appropriately this time, a Black Sabbath tee and sweats, your work clothes of pencil skirts, trousers, and wool sweaters currently drying on the laundry lines in the backyard. 

ok reader i see you my little rocker <3 you would love saint vitus bar in brooklyn; make tom or johnny watch emma so we can headbang to our heart’s content and you can enjoy a well-deserved night out <3 (on that note #REOPENVITUSYOUCOWARDS)

Emma two-handed it, just like you tell her to. It seemed she was trying to be on her best behavior, the little traitor.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH EMMA YOU LITTLE DEVIOUS ADORABLE SHIT (said goodnaturedly) I LOVE THIS LINE SO MUCH

Something in your chest squeezed when Johnny tucked the blanket around Emma’s skinny arms, more gentle than you had ever seen him.

ok though real talk men being gentle and tender, esp. around kiddos - hi, yes please sirs you can indeed help me mop my panties off the floor

Susan didn’t know what to do with a little boy that chewed on the furniture and got sick when she didn’t let him eat raw meat. 

i physically need to see fanart of young wolf!soap gnawing on an armchair leg

This was why you liked Charlie, he was so, so reasonable. 

hello charlie or as i like to call you “walking beige flag” the way i would roast him if i was bffs with reader..

also emma drawing that wolf catcher memory and waiting until soap was there to show it to both him and reader - AAGGGGH I freaking loved this and how clever this is i can do an entire pepe silvia conspiracy board meme breakdown of why and how much i loved this whole interaction

emma knowing it is a tough memory for her mama but choosing to draw and show it specifically to johnny - and waiting til they are all in each other’s presences (presence? idk)

i can see reader fighting (a losing battle lets be honest this is johnny fucking mactavish) tooth and nail so far to maintain the armor of assumptions and explanations she’s told herself to deal with the pain of being in love then (from her pov) rejected and how this has bled into how she paints johnny to emma despite her best efforts 

and yet as they say sometimes the body says and knows what the mind/heart cannot say yet and 1000% sure that little miss wolf emma mactavish loves her mom but is also sure that momma isn’t sure on where she stands with johnny

also ALSO the fact that jack raised both johnny and emma HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT - even though they’ve just met i love the little tidbits of the special wolf-to-wolf and father/daughter connection they have

AND AND AND so my grand theory here is that i believe emma made and showed this drawing to johnny because from what she knows - she perceives mama reader to despise johnny on the surface, yet still wants him - but based on what she’s told her about johnny, thinks johnny may not want mama - and drew this to prove mama is still worthy and a great protector - “You haven’t got any teeth or claws but it didn’t matter.” - and “showing her off” to johnny COUGH ANYWAY THAT’S WHERE I’LL END MY THESIS TYVM

also i love the bits sprinkled around the fic about johnny’s eyes sparkling eerie/brighter when he gets worked up

Perhaps all the war and killing really was good for his temperament.

HAHAHAHA OKAY SHIT, MAMA, WHO IS THE DELULU ONE NOW????????? (tbh it’s me, hi im the probl-)

johnny trying to find excuses to spend his PMC savings & money on reader + emma - IRL me and my bills & student loans crying laughing hysterically at reader turning this down

“Shut up!” Tommy said, frowning at you from the couch. “Fuck, lovie, he’s a friend from work.”

The man in the mask raised a hand in an awkward wave.

HAHAHAHHA SIMON!!! his entrance totally threw me off but ofc tom’s SHUT UP (true sibling energy right here, no greeting, just yells) and simon’s lil wave just UGGGGGGGHHHH such a nice palate cleanser from the intense but delicious angst - also tipping my hat at the subtle way to introduce Bi!Tommy with the “he’s not company he’s a guest” line 😏

You felt Simon’s eyes on you, judging, appraising. You were sure Johnny probably didn’t have the nicest things to say about you–most likely that you were an irritating little girl that followed him around for twenty years then proceeded to get pregnant and raise the child without him knowing,

would love to know what and how TF141 thinks of mama reader from how johnny has described her…despite her own misgivings <3

Johnny was an unsuspecting kind of violent, always smiling and laughing until he wasn’t, until it was serious.

Simon was different. He felt older. 

aaaaaa this is SUCH a good characterisation of them both

You had missed him like a lost limb-

ooh i absolutely love this phrase! I have one person in my life i went through a friend breakup with (iykyk - these are more painful than romantic breakups imho) and we mended things and discovered afterwards we both referred to our break in our friendship as ‘having lost a limb’ to other folks (!) sometimes birds of a feather really do flock together

 “It’s just…we’re adults, and adults have tricky feelings. preach mama 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

but also pls mama i know you have a kiddo but putting on nail polish right before a date? nooooooooooooooooo though chanel polishes ARE superior cos of that fat brush so all is forgiven <3

also obligatory FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK to charlie for forgetting the date, do you EVEN KNOW THE SUFFERING WE PUT OURSELVES THROUGH TO GET READY FOR A DATE? TO GET READY TO FACE THE WORLD OUTSIDE OUR DOOR, PERIODT?

IF SOMEONE DID THIS TO ONE OF MY GIRLIES I WILL BE READY TO FUCKING SHOW SOMEONE’S BITCH ASS THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TEETH AND CLAWS INDEED TO GET RIGHT FUCKED UP

anyway climbing down from my soapbox on behalf of women everywhere, back to the fic

as a tiny tiny redeemable bit - charlie having weekly dinners with his gran is a huge green flag trait

He stilled, looking at you. His hand came up, pinching your chin like he used to. “You havnae called me Johnny in a very long time.” The rawness of his voice broke you down into someone you used to be, someone that loved him.

me, extremely pleased, reading this: ah yes, in vino veritas~

The alcohol had dampened the anger in your chest, you felt…open. Open to talking about it. Bleeding the poison from the wound.

<3 <3 <3 this line <3 <3 <3

irl sidenote: u can also do this without alcohol my friends <3 trusted friends, therapy, long retreats into nature, safe places, safe people all very effective and cutting right to the heart in the gentlest ways possible, painful but highly recommend over the alternative (and lesser) options of keeping the poison inside <3 

Within a blink, Johnny was kneeling before you, his hands on your knees as his eyes bored into yours. You felt a chill, a whisper of fight or flight pricking your neck at his predatory stare.

ahem hello this is it

this is what does it for me

kneelng for your prey <3

also i love that their first real physical intimate contact after reuniting, beyond that hug after the wolf catcher story, is johnny LICKING reader’s tears off her face

“All I had was a picture and letters, but I could get off just from you writing that you missed me, just from your smell lingering on the fucking paper.” whats that phrase? marines make do? 🥰🥰🥰

me, reading about lacy underwear getting shredded: mmmmf yes sexxxxxyyyy

also me: ok i just know that was expensive, cringing inside at having to replace it

also fics that have men talking to ur pussy as they take care of it >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I CANNOT WAIT FOR READER TO WAKE UP AND SCREAM AT HERSELF  SAW PT 7 POSTED WOKE UP SCREAMING BLACKED OUT AND CONTINUED MY FEVERISH RANTING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC IN REBLOGS BELOW