#this is also about my favorite youtuber the sun of my life: Arcade

[arsuns-ramblings]

The worst part of language barrier is that y’all will never get to watch love and be emotionally destroyed by video essays in my language

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #322

“you will hear it when your god cries  /  you will see it when the sun dies  /  upon the altars of change”

What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee," from my old best friend. I don't want others calling me it, though. Where did you go on the best date you’ve been on? A big arcade. It was a super fun double-date. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I don't want one. It'd be so awkward. What’s your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate. What act would you be most likely to perform in a talent show? I got nothin'. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? I don't. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yep, because of the whole "not wearing my retainer" thing. Whose was the first baby shower you remember attending, and for what baby? I'm unsure. Possibly my sister's for her first daughter. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? Many people. When was the last time you did something that felt like rebellion? So every now and again, I get a massive craving for soda at night, so I grab one from the kitchen and can hear my sleeping mother rightfully nagging me about it, haha... What is one present you got for your last birthday? Ashley got me this really cool skull bank that says "tattoo fund" on it, aha. I love it. What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have a clear memory of bringing a Snorlax plushie one day. Do you remember losing your first tooth? Not my first, no. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it's kinda easy to make me jump just a lil bit when one is popped. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don't know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? That is fucking HARD. I adore both, but I think the original is slightly better. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I'm pretty sure none of them did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, definitely. As for my snake, I'm aware that snakes' brains simply aren't developed enough for love, but she clearly trusts me. Are you proud of your body? Fuck no. I'm humiliated by it every waking moment. Watermelon or cherries? I don't like either, but if I had to pick, watermelon. Favourite brand of cookies? I don't really have a favorite brand. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? No, that shit grosses me out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your goddamn cart. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Uhhhh. I guess places I've "done it." When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? I did. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Yeah; at least, before Covid. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? Fuck 2016 into the next millenium. Do you like fried bologna? I haven't had it in so long that I don't really remember the taste. I think I would. Have you spent money on a game online? Yeah, very briefly with WoW. Mom was nice enough to refresh my subscription after the breakup (Jason paid for it prior), but from then on, I was rich enough in-game to use monthly game tokens to "pay." Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. What about your "Z"s? Also yes. Do you like cold pizza? Yeah, yummy. Do you like broccoli and cheese? Yessss. Toaster or toaster oven? We've always used a toaster oven. What are you most known for? Being artsy, I guess. Do you have any reputations? What are they? *shrug* What was the last thing to leave you speechless? No clue. What is the curviest part of your body? Well, I'm overweight, so it's difficult to tell where I'm naturally curvy... but I guess my hips. Even when I was at a perfectly healthy weight though, I don't think I was exceptionally curvy anywhere. What is your opinion on sex change? You are entirely deserving to feel comfortable in your own body. If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you? I'm not, though I thought I was when we were together, when we were really just using a loophole. It was a denial thing BECAUSE my virginity was so important to me. If you have lost it already, do you regret it? No. Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)? I didn't. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? Things I said to Jason. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? Pollen. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yeah, my most recent niece I actually held. I don't THINK I held Aubree or Ryder as newborns because I was so afraid of not doing it right and hurting them. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yeah. Are you following in the career path of any family members? No. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. How many times have your comments been top comments on YouTube? A few times. I rarely ever comment, but if I do, it's because I feel like I really have something worth saying. Would you ever wear a wig? I'm not opposed to it. Do you like the moon or sun more? The moon. Do you like turkey or ham more? Ham. Have you ever slapped someone’s butt? Yes. Do you think dimples are ugly? I think they're cute, actually. Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Do you consider yourself a good kisser? I assume I am from experiences. Do you watch Pewdiepie? Not anymore, no. His current content doesn't interest me. The most recent thing I watched was his playthrough of The Last of Us 2, because I adore the first game and definitely wanted to see him play the sequel. I think he's pretty funny and have no personal issues against him, though then again I am so uninvolved in the fandom that I have no idea if he's done something stupid again. Do you like "Despacito?" Haha, my mind went to The Dark Den's bearded dragon before the song... I'm not a fan of it, no. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but I absolutely want to dye it pastel pink one day. :( I even edited a picture of me "testing" different hair colors out, and pastel pink looked suuuuper pretty. Do you drink energy drinks? No, they're too strong for my taste. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? I don't now how many I have, but I know it's below 100. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, but I enjoy the franchise. I'm not totally clear on all the lore, though. Do you like religion? Quite honestly, no. Do you swear in front of children? No. What is the next craft you are going to make? There's no telling. I don't really do crafts. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? Maybe "The Call." Favorite *N Sync song? I don't remember enough of them, at least not right now. Which of those two bands did you like best? The BSB, baby. Do you learn choreography easily? When I danced, I'd say I learned at a fairly average pace. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Reeseeeeeee's. <3 Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? No. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? Oh man, idk. Maybe something from Troy, though I honestly barely even remember the movie by now, haha. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, actually. Who takes care of your pet(s) when you’re out of town? Hypothetically, one of my sisters would come to feed and water Roman and clean his box. I'm certain I couldn't talk either into spraying Venus' cage, though... What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? Some group work during therapy. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? Oh dear, I don't make those. Do you like celery? Yuck, no. By what age could you swallow pills? I dunno. A normal age. Do you like to drink alot of water? I need to drink more. :/ I've gotten better, though. For years, I literally never drank water. How I even survived, idk. How many times have you gone fishing? Countless times. Ever been to a roller-skating rink? Yeah. I loved having bday parties there as a lil'un. What do you refer to your mother as? (Mom, momma, mommy) Mom, Ma, and Mama. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yeah, multiple times. What is the last movie that made you cry? I think the remake of The Lion King. What would you like to swim in other than water? Nothing? If you could uninvent one thing what would you chose? Damn, just one? Maybe cigarettes? Have you ever read someone's diary? Absolutely not. I respect people's privacy. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No, but that'd be dope. Who has inspired you the most in your life? Probably Mark. Is there a place where everyone who lives near you tends to hang out? Idk. Teens sure do love to hang out at Sonic, though, reving their stupid fucking trucks. Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes; I was obsessed with those as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? I feel like being alone with a tiger would scare me most. Though let's be real, I'd probably try to pet it. Have you ever changed your favorite color? From what to what? It was originally red, but then became pink when I actually understood it was its own color. Then it was maroon forever, and now it's back to pink. On a scale of 1-10, how competitive are you? Eh, 4-6? It depends on the situation, I guess. At what age did your have your most memorable birthday? My 21st, because I was in the psych hospital for it. Yes or no: Guys in skinny jeans? Yeah, man. Yes or no: Girls with dreads? Some people can pull it off. Have you ever attended a themed b-day party? What was the theme? Oh yeah, plenty. Do you have any Eminem on your iPod/MP3 player? I do. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What do you think about putting ‘spinners’ on cars? So long as they're not too distracting, I don't care. Do what you want with your car - again, so long as it is not disruptive. What celebrity do you wish would have a big comeback? I wish poor Britney Spears could catch a goddamn break and be happy again. She's a legend that doesn't deserve to feel like a puppet. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say there was a pretty even split. Do you or have you ever owned a horse? No, but I LOVE horses. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? (weird, I know, but it happens…) Most of my relationships started through a text message. Did you believe in unicorns as a small child? I don’t think so. Would you ever date a guy with longer hair than yourself? Yeah; I have short hair anyway, and I also like long hair on guys. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I used to love that show. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No; humidity aside though, that would be so amazing. Bats are not spooky or are they? I think they're precious. Do you like the song "Womanizer?" I sure do, actually. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really, but I'll eat it. Do you know how to change a tire? Nope. What kind of headphones do you have? Just cheap earplugs. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? No. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? Dissecting a frog was my favorite, and doing the same with an owl pellet was also very cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Guilt. I lied to get out of group therapy early because I was just NOT feeling it whatsoever that day, and I hate lying. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? Jeez, what haven't we had... We've had cats, dogs, snakes, rats, gerbils, a rabbit, hamsters, lizards, fish, guinea pigs... Hell, I'm probably forgetting one or two. Can you name three good things about your most recent ex? She's so creative, a real advocate for proper reptile education and appreciation, and very kind. Name three bands/artists that you hate. Uhhh The Talking Heads, Bob Dylan, and The Police. What’s the best memory you have of your father? Playing softball with him in the front yard, and when he taught me to ride a bike. Should tattoos be meaningful? You get a tattoo for whatever reason you damn well want. I don't plan on all of mine to be meaningful. Some stuff I just want because I think it's cool. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. What's the most recent good news you’ve heard? Hm. Who was the last person in your family to have a baby? My older sister. When’s the last time you used the microwave? Last night. What’s the worst thing in your life right now? Financial struggles. Have you ever owned a tire swing? No. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? No. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. Have Jehovah'ss witnessess ever called to your door? Yep. when was the last time you went to mass/church? I have no idea. It's been many years. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? Thank heavens no.

[technoskittles]

Pure Feeling Playlist

Okay, so I had someone on twitter express interest in the songs I have for my playlist for Pure Feeling and figured, yeah, I could share it. I don’t have a spotify (I don’t like the interface plus the music selection is way too limited for my taste) and the playlist itself is on Youtube Music. It’s also private because I don’t really want random people seeing it or other people messing with it if I unlocked it, so I’ll just type up all the songs here with links that way y’all can scroll through and listen to what you want.

I understand there’s probably an easier and faster way to do this probably, but hey, with the quarantine I clearly have some extra time on my hands so why not?

Though, couple of warnings:

1. It’s LOOOOOOONG (it’s 300+ songs in total) (don’t worry I’m gonna put this under a cut)

2. Some of the songs aren’t going to make much sense in terms of the AU. This is for two reasons: a) Some of the songs allude to events/characters that haven’t shown up in the story yet (there’s a LOT of songs regarding Mara’s father) and b) some of them are just general songs that I use to get a basis of emotion/vibe when writing particular types of scenes.

3. My music tastes are all over the place (and this doesn’t even include some of the other genres I listen to just because it doesn’t fit this AU lol)

But this playlist is my main muse and is probably one of the best insights to my process/inner thoughts so, without further ado.....my full playlist.

(I grouped the songs from the same artist together for the easiest convenience)

(And some songs might kind of be repeats if I listen to multiple versions for the purpose of this fic)

Got any favorites? Any songs that worry you about the future of this fic? Or just something you might want more clarification on? Feel free to shoot me ask about it!

South London Forever by Florence + The Machine

Patricia by Florence + The Machine

I Will Be by Florence + The Machine

Too Much Is Never Enough by Florence + The Machine

You’ve Got The Love by Florence + The Machine

Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

Ship To Wreck by Florence + The Machine

St. Jude by Florence + The Machine

Over The Love by Florence + The Machine

Pure Feeling by Florence + The Machine (hey look it’s the fic title)

Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + The Machine

What Kind Of Man by Florence + The Machine

Stuck On You by Meiko

Stuck On You (Acoustic Version) by Meiko

Adventure of A Lifetime by Coldplay

Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay

Simple and Clean by Hikaru Utada

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - FYI - Hikaru Utada

Be My Last by Hikaru Utada

Colors by Hikaru Utada

Distance (M-Flo Remix) by Hikaru Utada

Without You (Justice Skolnik Remix) by Oh Wonder

Rockabye by Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie

In The Rain (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by David Russell)

Stone Heart (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by sxrlove06)

Lost In The Moment by Daniel Lee Kendall

Fragile by ARCADES

Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

Scary Love by The Neighbourhood

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood

Sweater Weather (Vaski Remix) by The Neighbourhood

Honest by The Neighbourhood

Alleyways by The Neighbourhood

Stuck With Me by The Neighbourhood

Lights by Ellie Goulding

Goodness Gracious (The Chainsmokers Remix) by Ellie Goulding

Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding

Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding

Don’t Need Nobody by Ellie Goulding

Candy-Coloured Sky by Catmosphere

‘Till We’re In The Sea by RKCB

affection by Jinsang

summers day v2 by Jinsang

Let Go by Frou Frou

Must Be Dreaming by Frou Frou

I Just Want You by Robert Duncan

Forget by Alicks

Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier

Nevermind by Dennis Lloyd

Let It Happen by Tame Impala

Think About You by Kygo ft. Valerie Broussard

First Time by Kygo ft. Ellie Goulding

Fragile by Kygo ft. Labrinth

Feel Your Love by Nyquill

I See You by MISSIO

Learn To Let Go by Kesha

Praying by Kesha

I Love My Life by Justice Crew

Sex by Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam

Everlong by Foo Fighters

Party Like It’s Your Birthday by Studio Killers

The Disappearance of The Girl by Phildel

Soul On Fire by Mystery Skulls

we’ve never met but, can we have coffee or something? by in love with a ghost

What is Love? by Y//2//K & Yung Death Ray ft. Jaymes Young

A Manner to Act by Ra Ra Riot

Suckers by Ra Ra Riot

Do You Remember by Ra Ra Riot

You And I Know by Ra Ra Riot

Oh, La by Ra Ra Riot

Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot

Consequence by The Notwist

Anyone Else by PVRIS

Dead Weight by PVRIS

Can You Hold Me by NF ft. Britt Nicole

Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

No Fear by Dej Loaf

I’ve Been Waiting by Lil Peep & ILoveMakonnen ft. Fall Out Boy

Give U Up by CALVIN (I’m sorry in advance for this one)

Heartbeat by Scouting For Girls

Keep It Simple by Tove Lo

Sweettalk My Heart by Tove Lo

Glad He’s Gone by Tove Lo

Not On Drugs by Tove Lo

Got Love by Tove Lo

Crave by Tove Lo

Paradise by Tove Lo

Moments by Tove Lo

Talking Body by Tove Lo

Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo

Scars by Tove Lo

Out Of Your Mind by Tove Lo

Vibes by Tove Lo

Lies In The Dark by Tove Lo

Come Undone by Tove Lo

dont ask dont tell by Tove Lo

Cherry Blossom by ALA.NI

Feels Like Home by The Him ft. Son Mieux

Quiet by Lights

Skydiving by Lights

365 by Zedd & Katy Perry

Left to Right by Marteen

Could You Love Me? by Black Saint

Midnight City by M83

Marble Soda by Shawn Wasabi

Crystal Dolphin by Engelwood

Pusher (Shawn Wasabi Remix) by Clear ft. Mothica

She’s A Riot by The Jungle Giants

Stranger by Jay Hayden & King Vodka

Now That I’ve Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen

Marty McFly by Luke Christopher

Rocks by Imagine Dragons

All Day And Night by Jax Jones ft. Madison Beer & Martin Solveig

Run Free by Deep Chills ft. IVIE

Maps by Maroon 5

Feelings by Maroon 5

blue by Pools

High Hopes (The Lucifer Edit) by Quails

breathin’ by Ariana Grande

Into You by Ariana Grande

Shy Girl by Kedam

Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club

What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club

Sleep Alone by Two Door Cinema Club

This Is The Life by Two Door Cinema Club

Do You Want It All? by Two Door Cinema Club

Sun by Two Door Cinema Club

Eat That Up, It’s Good For You by Two Door Cinema Club

Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club

Sunflower by Post Malone & Swan Lee

Señorita by Shawn Medes & Camila Cabello

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

Everybody’s Angel by Down With Webster

All Fall Down by OneRepublic

Counting Stars by OneRepublic

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy

Jenny by Walk The Moon

Youth by Daughter

Get Lucky (Cover) by Daughter

Love by Daughter

River Flows In You by Yiruma

Girls And Boys In School by Neon Trees

Girls And Boys In School (EP Version) by Neon Trees

Helpless by Neon Trees

In The Next Room by Neon Trees

Beings by Madeon

Dried-Out Cities by Fallulah

Bloodline by Fallulah

Almost Home by Mariah Carey

Headlock by Imogen Heap

Closing In by Imogen Heap

Lifeline by Imogen Heap

Goodnight And Go by Imogen Heap

First Train Home by Imogen Heap

I Am In Love With You by Imogen Heap

The Walk by Imogen Heap

More by Kaskade & Felix Cartal ft. Jenn Blosil

Lay Down by Kaskade & Late Night Alumni

My Distance by Kaskade

Lessons In Love by Kaskade ft. Neon Trees

Kill The Lights (Audien Remix) by Alex Newell ft. DJ Cassidy, Nile Rogers, & Jess Glynne

Fall In Love/Lie by INNA

Cola Song by INNA

Caliente by INNA

Iguana by INNA

Ruleta by INNA ft. Erik

I Like You by INNA

Love by INNA

Shining Star by INNA

Bebe by INNA

Bebe (Yaniss Extended Remix) by INNA

Better Not by Louis The Child ft. Wafia

Living Island by Pogo

Still Into You by Paramore

Hard Times by Paramore

Emergency by Paramore

Ignorance by Paramore

I Caught Myself by Paramore

Letting Go by HERB x Kendall Miles

To Be Human by Sia ft. Labrinth

Big Girls Cry (ODESZA Remix) by Sia

Elastic Heart by Sia

Angel By The Wings by Sia

If You Didn’t See Me (Then You Weren’t On The Dancefloor) by Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

Butterfly In The Still by Iwasaki Taku

Dare (La La La) by Shakira

Me Enamore by Shakira

Loca by Shakira ft. Dizzee Rascal

Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango) by Shakira

Addicted To You by Shakira

Whenever, Wherever by Shakira

When A Woman by Shakira

Can’t Remember To Forget You by Shakira ft. Rihanna

Better Than Yesterday by HollySiz

This is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch

Rain by Pueblo Vista ft. .Eehlou & Shiloh Dynasty

G.B.D. Pressure (Extended) by Chillster

Valentine by Aether ft. Veela

Lemme See by Usher ft. Rick Ross

Promises by Aly & AJ

Like Whoa by Aly & AJ

Silence by Aly & AJ

Find A Way by Safety Suit

Ordinary Day by Emilie Mover

Green Light by Lorde

Don’t Feel Like Crying (MK Remix) by Sigrid

Crazy in Love by EDEN ft. Leah Kelly

Broken Girl by Matthew West

Crazy in Love by Sofia Karlberg

This Is What Makes Us Girls (The Confect Remix) by Lana del Rey

1901 by Phoenix

Lisztomania by Phoenix

Please Don’t Touch by RAYE

Island In The Sun by Weezer

God Is A Dancer by Tiesto & Mabel

Tighten Up by The Black Keys

Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys

Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups

Don’t Play by Halsey

Bad At Love by Halsey

Young God by Halsey

Now Or Never by Halsey

Hurricane by Halsey

Drive by Halsey

Eyes Closed by Halsey

Eyes Closed (Stripped) by Halsey

Haunting by Halsey

Strangers by Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui

100 Letters by Halsey

Ghost by Halsey

Break A Sweat by Becky G

Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men

I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red

Run by Alison Wonderland

I Want U by Alison Wonderland

Peace by Alison Wonderland

Peace (Acoustic) by Alison Wonderland

Dead To Me by Kali Uchis

Good Enough by Evanescence

Go Slow by Gorgon City & Kaskade ft. Romeo

Feel Good Inc by filous & LissA

All I Need by Within Temptation

A Lot Like Love (Oliver Heldens Edit) by The Voyagers ft. Haris

Hideaway by Kiesza

Memories by KSHMR ft. Sirah

American Sadness by XYLO

One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks

Your Shirt by Chelsea Cutler

Hope Of Morning by Icon For Hire

Collect Call by Metric

Flowers On The Grave (Acoustic) by The Maine

Fabulous by Ally Brooke

Falling (blackbear Remix) by Trevor Daniel

You by Petit Biscuit

Unlove You (Drop G Remix) by Armin van Burren ft. Ne-Yo

Formation (R-TRAX Trap Remix) by Beyonce

Schoolin’ Life by Beyonce

Simmer by Hayley Williams

Ruby by Foster The People

Moral Of The Story by Ashe

Colorblind (Left/Right Remix) by Karma Fields ft. Tove Lo

Don’t Stop The Music by Jamie Cullum

Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant

Don’t Stop the Fancy Footwork (Chromeo vs. Rihanna)

She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) by David Guetta ft. Sia

Slow Burn by Audiograf

Write My Story by Olly Anna

1 Thing by Amerie

I Like That by Janelle Monae

Your Favorite Place by Joey Pecoraro

Beauty Mark by Parov Stelar ft. Anduze

Dead Hearts by Stars

Change of Seasons (EP Version) by Sweet Thing

Larger Than Life by Pink Zebra ft. Benji Jackson

Are You With Me (Pretty Pink Remix) by Lost Frequencies

Nothing But by Skin

In Common (Kenny Dope Remix) by Alicia Keys

Resonance by HOME

All Stars by Martin Solveig ft. ALMA

Lavender’s Blue Dilly Dilly [From the Cinderella (2015) OST]

Besame Mucho by Jorge Blanco

Touch You Right Now by Basic Element

Dinero by Trinidad

Icon (Reggaeton Remix) by Jaden Smith ft. Nicky Jam & Will Smith

Make Me Sweat by Kat DeLuna

Sombredosis by Kat DeLuna ft. El Cata

Real Love by Memory Tapes

Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko

This Side Of Paradise by Hayley Kiyoko

Wanna Be Missed by Hayley Kiyoko

Gravel To Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko

Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko

Fiesta (Remix) by Bombe Estereo ft. Will Smith

Love by TeZATalks

Had by TeZATalks

Heal by Loreen

Analyser by AlunaGeorge

Attracting Flies by AlunaGeorge

Damaged by Plummet

My Kind by Hilary Duff

Sparks by Hilary Duff

Talk by DJ Snake ft. George Maple

First summer without you by Outgoing Hikikomori

First birthday without you by Outgoing Hikikomori

2 Heads by Coleman Hell

Mathematics by Little Boots

Hearts Collide by Little Boots

Meddle by Little Boots

Parachute by Cheryl Cole

When she went away by Max Richter

When she came back by Max Richter

Who Knew by Pink

Lash Out by Alice Merton

Back To The Start by Mr. Little Jeans

Perfecto. by Ayo. & .Disfnk ft. Daniela Andrade

service by j^p^n

I’m In Love Again by tomppabeats

Close by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo

Falling Apart by Michael Schulte

Dusk ‘Til Dawn by ZAYN ft. Sia

Pillowtalk by ZAYN

Minimal Beat by Lindsey Stirling

Perfect Illusion by Lady Gaga

Do I Wanna Know? (Cover) by CHVRCHES

La Familia (Guy Sigsworth Remix) by Mirah

Broken Parts by The Ready Set & Mokita

Invisible Chains by Lauren Jauregui

Lonely Gun by CYN

Cartier by Dopebwoy ft. 3robi & Chivv

Boss Bitch by Doja Cat

[still-we-go-pumpkins]

An amazing fan tribute to Weiki. Unique facts compilation 👌🎃

I've just found the post on DeviantArt. As great Weiki fan also, I can confirm that he's really that marvelous just as the author describes him. This will make you feel warm and will set smile on your face as well as you will check Helloween vids/lives while exploring this facts. So, here we go.

Further credits : SamWeiki

100 Reasons I love Michael Weikath

Possible – scratch that, definite – Fangirling ahead (I tried to keep it to a minimum and I probably failed)

1. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes. [right off, I told you – Fangirling]

2. The songs he writes are so unique and AMAZING. Most of them mean quite a lot to me, as well. I’ve always been drawn to them. They just have a certain special quality to them that I love.

3. He wrote “Keeper of the Seven Keys” for cryin’ out loud!

4. His “thanks” section in the Unarmed booklet.

5. He’d pick Judas Priest over Iron Maiden in an instant.

6. The way he sometimes answers questions. For instance, he was asked about what fans could expect from The Dark Ride and his response was: “Well....hmmmm you can expect that it will be standing in stores and it’s very likely you can buy it when you find it there! hahahahahaha apart from that I don’t know if it’s going to say anything but you can go there and buy it, listen to it, and use it, because it’s a CD and it usually makes a lot of sound if you put it into a CD player......but probably doesn't work if you put it into a toaster.....hahahahahaha.��

7. If he wasn’t a musician, he says his life would be dedicated to cartoons.

8. He dedicated the Hammond version of “Burning Sun” to the great Jon Lord.

9. He’s an artist. His little skull and pumpkin drawing is beautiful.

10. He makes the best faces in concerts.

11. I love watching him in the High Live video, especially during “Steel Tormentor”. [I did not just say that]

12. He made the frog noises at the end of “Nothing to Say”.

13. So many people have blamed him for things over the years, when he did nothing wrong, just because they feel it's easier to blame him. I experience that quite a lot and have for several years, so I understand what it's like but he seems a lot stronger than me about it, as it's very hard for me to get over a lot of that stuff. He's sort of my hero about that because it seems like he hasn't let that really stop him.

14. How he totally told off that Phantom guy. His responses were awesome.

15. A part of “Do You Know What You Are Fighting For” is Deep Purple’s “Stormbringer” backwards. There’s actually a lot of Deep Purple in that song. Makes me love it even more – both songs.

16. He played on Uli Kusch’s cover of “Eyes of the World” from the Rainbow tribute album and he played all the guitar on that song. “Yeah I played on Eyes Of The World. So I did all of the guitar work on it. Uli told me that he did not expect me to have the guitar work as close to the original song as I had it.”

17. The seven pronged star on the cover of 7 Sinners was his idea. And what a damn fine idea it was because it makes a freaking sweet album cover! It was a lot of fun for me to draw, as well.

18. When writing “LAVDATE DOMINVM”, he called upon his old Latin lessons from school and actually got to work with his old Latin teacher on the lyrics. Weiki hadn’t worked with Latin for a bit, so he had to relearn a few things and he even managed to correct something his teacher had written.

19. His response to what animal he would be: “A lion, 'cause I could be lyin' round lazy and have my food brought to me by other people.”

20. Helloween would not be Helloween without him, plus Markus and Andi wouldn’t let him quit in 2000/2001.

21. He drew the logo and original pumpkin.

22. How beautiful the lyrics to “Windmill” are. Example:

"Don't feel alone and depressed

Someone will come, at last

To soothe your storming mind

To keep it away from the evil storms."

23. You can clearly hear the man singing in “White Christmas” and he’s the most fun to listen to.

24. “Introduction” never fails to make me laugh very loudly, especially the lyrics to “Rock n’ Roll All Day”.

25. He likes Spinal Tap.

26. The way he sang “Gorgar will eat you” in the Keeper Legacy interviews.

27. He was asked what his motto in life was and his response was: Be as friendly as it comes; have fun, make money and spend it on charity to help people. ~Sei so freundlich wie es geht; Spaß haben, viel Geld verdienen und es für wohltätige Zwecke ausgeben, um Leuten zu helfen~ (it was originally in German)

28. His black and white outfits in the ‘80s and ‘90s, especially those awesome star-printed pants.

29. The entire story of the Keeper of the Seven Keys and Master of the Rings.

30. The Jacuzzi scene in the Keeper Legacy Road movie.

31. He likes Aphrodite’s Child, Nektar, and Camel. He’s cool.

32. I really don’t think I’ve heard him say anything bad about anyone.

33. The moment when he switched his guitar off and “played” a solo after he was introduced in The Legacy concert.

34. “All right… That’s enough! Now, I want to hear Dani’s drum solo!” *rapid fire – BLAMBLAMBLAM!* The first time I watched the “Smoke On the Water” bit from Hellish Rock, I nearly fell to the floor laughing.

35. About the time Pink Bubbles Go Ape came out, in an interview, Michael Kiske said something about they weren’t Metal, they didn’t do that “Heavy Metal” thing and Weiki says, “I thought we were Heavy Metal”. And Michi completely just stopped talking for a second.

36. The way Weiki messed around with Michi and Roland during the interview mentioned above.

37. How much fun he looked like he was having in the “Kids of the Century” video.

38. Every time he dances around on stage.

39. His love for Gibson Les Pauls.

40. He was reading “A Hat Full of Sky” and even recommended it.

41. He says that his writing “Keeper of the Seven Keys” kept him alive and he considers it a major turning point in his life to have come up with the idea for it.

42. The hairspray scene in the Hellish Rock road movie.

43. He actually got involved with the DJ game when they were in Japan (Keeper Legacy road movie) – the whole arcade scene was great.

44. The way he just looks at a camera sometimes and doesn’t say a word – he just starts making faces and looking off in different directions. He can be funny without saying a single word.

45. His guitar solo in “Back On the Ground”.

46. He played most of the guitar on the Better Than Raw album.

47. Weikath Syndrome is the coolest thing to catch.

48. During the German Top 6 video (1993), he was drinking a Capri Sun. I think it may have even been Wild Cherry.

49. A Gibson Les Paul looks absolutely perfect on him. I also love the way he holds the guitar.

50. How his hair has always been shoulder length (at least) since the late ‘80s (and beautiful).

51. He thinks of the younger viewers/fans.

52. All the love for him in the Hellbook.

53. I don’t how much of the lyrics to “Dreambound” he wrote, but he has a credit on that song and OH MY GOD, is it flipping incredible! I must make special mention to how amazing “the Saints” is, too.

54. He wanted to talk to Michael Kiske when they met at a festival in 2012/2013, so they could try and work things out a little.

55. He wanted “Livin’ Ain’t No Crime” to be a single.

56. His song “Number One” and how uplifting and positive the lyrics are, especially the chorus.

57. When they were on the Ferris wheel, they didn’t start REALLY laughing until Weiki did.

58. How he introduces himself as “de Michael Weikath of Helloween” and he even got Dani to do it with him.

59. He contributed a guitar solo to the German Rock Project’s “Let Love Conquer the World” (the long Metal version) but went all incognito with it and is credited as “a member of the Seventh Key”.

60. The fact that he wanted a flute in “Raise the Noise” and it sounds totally awesome!

61. The sexy witch on the cover of Better Than Raw was Weiki’s idea.

62. His makeshift rocking chair.

63. His spoken part of the Dezperadoz song “First Blood” (and “Echoes of Eternity”, too).

64. How funny was in the two Nuremberg interviews from the ‘80s that are on YouTube.

1987 – He lights a cigarette, he passes it Ingo, Ingo passes it back, and Weiki passes it back to him. Ingo then proceeds to throw it on the ground and Weiki attempts to lightly hit him but only manages to hit his hair. xD

1988 – The FUNNY one! He was so frickin’ funny in that one. I won’t give away the end of it if you’ve never seen it, but it involves a balloon and a cigarette. (by the way, Michael Weikath takes his sunglasses off and puts them back on 13 times, 10 of which are in the first three minutes).

65. After an interviewer thanks him for being there, “Ja, that’s not so much I can do about it, because somebody put me on this Earth and I went out of my mother and suddenly I was there and now I have to deal with this crap.”

66. During the Indianapolis Hell On Wheels concert, during “Halloween”, Michi passes the mic over to Weiki and Weiki does the “I’ll show you power and glory” part. Michi then makes a disgruntled face at him and rubs the mic with his shirt, causing Weiki to make a face back at him!

67. Also from the same Hell On Wheels concert, during “A Tale That Wasn’t Right”, he was stepping on the skeleton and making Ingo laugh.

68. Speaking of “A Tale That Wasn’t Right”, that song is incredible and very powerful.

69. He let the other members of the band help out on “Mission Motherland”. That song is very quickly becoming my favorite song of theirs.

70. His backing vocals in the “Sea of Fears” demo.

71. All of his little pins that he wears: the pumpkin, the W, the stars…

72. This comment he made about the Hellbook: “With the hardcover you can better smash your naughty brother... and you can with the regular as well, just maybe not as effective.” I have actually made that joke to my brother before. xD

73. Someone at a meet-n-greet in 2008 showed the band an old picture of the guys, which they all signed. It was an old picture. Kai was stunned, Markus laughed his ass off, and Michael actually said he remembered where it was taken and when. The picture was taken in 1986, so that is kind of impressive.

74. He helped me become a big fan of Deep Purple. Yes, I will admit to only becoming a major Deep Purple fan after becoming a Helloween fan - and it was all because of Weiki. And now I'm really happy because I never realized how awesome Deep Purple is. Same thing with Wishbone Ash.

75. He’s given me several phrases to use whenever applicable.

- “Impressive, isn’t it?”

- “You have to listen with your ears.”

- “It’s nice, cold, windy, sunny weather.” (which pretty much describes Florida in the winter sometimes)

76. He can still sing with a cigarette in his mouth and not drop the cigarette.

77. The intro to “Halloween”. I’m not sure if he played it on the original recording, but when he plays it live… OH MY GOD.

78. His guitar solo in “First Time”.

79. He’s fun to watch in the “When the Sinner” video when he’s shown, especially when he’s playing those power chords in the beginning (even though he played no guitar on the song) and the part in the saloon.

80. How amazing “Les Hambourgeois Walkways” is.

81. He’s written a couple songs that he has dedicated to groups of fans ~ “LAVDATE DOMINVM” for the Latin speaking fans, and “Born on Judgment Day” for the people of Brazil.

82. How he’s so easily able to make Sascha laugh behind the camera.

More here 💜

[readmangoes]

nct?

Group: NCT

First Bias: I started stanning NCT Dream before the other units because NCT Life Entertainment Retreat popped up on my YouTube recommendations, and my first bias ended up being Renjun! His sassiness and his sweetness, plus his snaggletooth, charmed me completely.

Current Bias: Kun! Funny story, I found out about Kun before I got into NCT because I read an NCT interview, and I was quickly scrolling through it to see which member had interesting answers, and I noticed that Kun and I have similar answers! I didn’t really know who he was, and there weren’t many videos of him, so I stopped looking for him, but he suddenly popped back up in NCT 2018, and now I’m happy.

Bias Wrecker: Doyoung. I only really got into the rest of NCT after NCT 2018 started so I didn’t know their voices that much, and I thought his parts were sung by Taeil in “Boss”. XD After watching him in a few lives, he really started to grow on me. (Psst… Mark is also my dork boi. Him and his terrible puns.)

Fave Song: I’m going to pick one from each unit because there are so many quality songs… The first one that comes into my mind is NCT U’s “Yestoday,” though. From the personal raps to Doyoung’s gorgeous chorus… That’s a whole Good Song™ right there. My favorite NCT 127 song would be “Sun & Moon” because me? A sucker for vocals? Yes. Recently, I’ve started really liking “Running 2 U” because it has a bit of a quirky arcade sound. My favorite NCT Dream song is easily “My First and Last”. It just makes you want to skip and dance.

Fave MV: “The 7th Sense”. Aesthetic. Heavenly. Amazing to the point that I can’t describe it.

Thank you for asking!! (I usually don’t get responses to these posts, so I’m really glad to get one! I’m sorry for the late response!!)

☆彡Send me a K-pop group and I’ll answer! ☆彡

[anyway-i-love-vanderwood]

RFA - Proposals!

✿ This is for @salarinnar​, who wrote, 

Hello! I love your writing style so I thought I'd donate! How about MC asking the RFA + the minor trio to marry her? With all that getting on one knee and giving them a proposal ring jazz. Bless u.:) 

Thanks so much! I actually did the minor trio proposing to MC awhile ago here, so here’s the rest of the RFA!

(If you’d like a guaranteed request fill, but me a coffee on my Ko-Fi!

Yoosung

His mother puts the idea in his head, asking him when he’s finally going to propose to that lovely person he’s been seeing for so long. Yoosung swallows, nervous – it’s not that he doesn’t’ want to marry you. In fact, he’s looking forward to it, and often daydreams about having a happily married existence like his own parents share. But… he’s just…

Worried. He’s scared that he won’t be the right kind of guy for you, and he’s worried that you’ve changed your mind and don’t love him as much as he loves you.

So he frets. He asks his mom about how his father proposed, he asks his LOLOL friends how they proposed – hell, he asks V how he proposed, being so desperate to get input that he’ll put aside his own feelings for the man.

He gets a variety of answers, files them away, and keeps thinking.

When he takes you out to romantic movies, he watches your reaction to the lovey-dovey scenes carefully, taking inspiration from what you say about how the characters handle their own proposals. He reads books, he browses forum threads… and he thinks and overthinks the matter, trying to figure out how to best ask for your hand.

Yoosung gets the ring while he’s STILL not sure how to propose to you, and as he’s walking home from the store, he gets a panicked call on his cell.

You’ve found a baby bird and it’s broken it’s WING and YOOSUNG HELP you DON’T’ WANT IT TO DIE, PLEASE COME QUICKLY.

(you’re crying, and so he runs.)

Using his veterinarian skills, Yoosung helps you save the bird’s life, and you’re just so… happy and thankful and you hug him, telling him that he’s the best, and Yoosung falls in love with you all over again. You’re so kind! You’re so gentle! You’re so loving!

You’re so kind to everyone, even the smallest of animals, and on complete impulse, he gets on one knee and busts out his newly acquired ring.

It’s poorly thought out. It’s spur-of-the-moment. But he’ll never forget the way you light up and hug him, saying “yes!” over and over.

The two of you laugh about it afterwards, and decide that was probably the most memorable way it could have happened.

Zen

Zen knows you are completely and entirely perfect and, therefore, he knows that his proposal to you needs to be completely and entirely perfect in return. How he achieves this Holy Grail of Marital Intent, though, is a matter of some internal debate.

He considers going to stereotypical route of wining and dining you, but that’s a.) not really very him and b.) he can’t think of any restaurant that matches up to the vivacity that is you. Besides, he’s not really on-the-ball on the whole… restaurant scene, being that he’s a loser who can barely keep anything more than beer in his fridge.

He also considers surprising you on a date, like – at the zoo, or the aquarium. Or maybe on television in front of thousands during one of his on-screen appearances? But then it’s pointed out to him that, oops, a public proposal basically pressures you into saying yes, doesn’t it? And, if you do say no, it’d open you up to the onslaught of thousands of his angry fans.

No. He wants this to be between you and him, where you make a decision about your future that he’ll respect and appreciate either way… so he thinks more, and decides to go back to the roots of your early relationship.

He decides to take you stargazing.

Zen parks his motorcycle in front of your apartment one night, furiously texting you and begging you to come outside for an impromptu date. He already kind of checked to make sure you didn’t have anything planned, but he’s still over the moon when you a.) don’t get mad he rolled up the street at 11PM and b.) he hadn’t given you any notice.

(he thought it would be more romantic like that.)

You come outside to find him with a picnic basket strapped to the back of his motorcycle and a big smile on his face, and shaking your head, you get on behind him and let him take you on whatever wacky adventure he has planned.

He takes you up to your special place in the mountains, his jacket protecting your body from the cold and his back shielding your face. You have your arms around him, and you’ve never felt someone’s warmth as intently as in that moment.

The basket is full of all of your favorite foods, no matter how ‘dumb’ and ‘unromantic’ they are. Do you get all of your nutritional content from potato chips? That is ok, Zen has packed all the best flavors. There’s also a blanket, which he spreads out for you, and you lie back and look at the perfectly clear, beautifully expansive sky.

You and Zen talk for awhile, pointing out constellations and making your own, when he gets quiet and reaches into his pocket for something. He starts talking about how big the world is, and how happy he found you – you’re like his north star in the darkness of the night. And then he turns on his side, opening the box and looking at you with complete and total sincerity.

Will you marry him? He asks, with only the chirping crickets and the sound of the wind for company.

Of course you say yes. How could you not? And when you put the diamond on your finger, you reach out to touch the sky, and admire how the stone looks like one of those stars glimmering above.

Jaehee

Jaehee takes you to the aquarium.

It’s an atypical spot, which makes since given that she’s an atypical woman. You’re kind of expecting that Jaehee is going to pop the question sometime soon, as she’s been asking about your feelings regarding the future, settling down, etc, but when she invites you out that cool, rainy Saturday, you don’t really expect it’s going to happen then.

She does it near the end of the day, after she’s taken you to the dolphin show and endured you stopping at every exhibit and pointing out which fish represented which members of the RFA. (She bust a gut laughing when you said the flounder was Jumin.) You’ve already had lunch, and are thinking about going when you stop in the shark room, which is more of a tunnel than a room, really. The walls are completely made of glass and, all around you, you can an awe-inspiring assortment of fish swimming around you (and above you!) in a mysterious room lit by an ethereal blue glow.

You find an empty spot to stand, and you press your hands against the glass, completely entranced. Jaehee watches your profile, and then taps twice on your shoulder, sinking onto one knee when you look down at her.

She tells you, as she presents a ring to you in the dim light, that her entire life… she’s felt like she’s been living in a fish-tank. Confined, restrained, where she’s just been surviving under people’s apathetic gazes. She’s never felt like she could explore. Never felt like she could go on an adventure, because her entire world was defined by walls of unbreakable glass.

…Until she met you.

Now she believes in things. Now she dreams. Now she smiles, laughs, and no longer feels like she’s just some specimen kept behind a cold, unfeeling wall. And – no matter what you say, yes or no – that knowledge will always stay with her.

Will you… accompany her beyond the glass walls you’ve helped her shatter? Together?

(In the flickering, wavering light, you smile as wide as the sun and say, yes.)

Jumin

It takes a little bit for Jumin to propose, and before he does so, he takes you on a whirlwind tour of the globe using his private jet and vast amounts of money.

You eat baguettes in France. You see the architecture of Prague. He takes you on a tour of the castles of Scotland, and says that one day, he’d like to build one for Elizabeth the III. You go see the mountains of Iceland and the parks of Oslo, the beaches of Bermuda and see the sunset off the coast of Fiji. You sip margaritas, daiquiris, and pina coladas, you go horseback riding, you take pottery classes with Jumin and laugh as you make mistakes.

You go to art exhibits. Concerts. You go to parties and meet people, and you drag Jumin out on forest hikes in the dim, lonely woods. You see snow, rain, sunshine, you go to street markets and film festivals – you even go fishing with him and watch him pay a five-star chef to prepare what he caught into a delectable dish for the local catlife.

The two of you go to Istanbul, a land famous for its large population of street cats, and Jumin is content in a land that’s devoted to his favorite feline friends.

And… at the end of it, on a quiet, deserted beach at the end of the day, he pops the question.

He wanted you to see the world before he asked you to marry him, because he doesn’t want you to ever feel confined when you’re with him. He wanted you to know what’s out there before you settled down, and now that you’ve gotten a taste of so much the earth has to offer…

Do you want to stay with him still?

You say yes, saying that – while travelling was fun – it wouldn’t have been half as amazing without him there by your side. Wanting to go feed cats, falling off his horse, sharing food with him and laughing… The world’s amazing, yes, but it’s twice as amazing when you get to experience it with him.

For once in his life, Jumin is chosen because he is him, and because he made your travels worthwhile… and he smiles, thanking God once more that he got a chance to experience what life is like with you.

Seven

This man has an entire notebook full of ideas on how to propose to you.

There are so many good options! In the climactic moment of an epic laser-gun battle? Waved in the sky on the banner of a sport-class airplane? Using a small army of drones? Via youtube video? Oh man, he could do the classic “write it using the high-scores on an arcade machine”… but is that too cliché, by this point?

He only gets one chance to propose, so he should make it th-

Wait.

Who, exactly, said he had only one chance to propose?

(Seven sits down and begins to imagine the possibilities.)

He launches off the 2017 “War of Proposals” through a singing telegram delivered by a man cosplaying as Starshine Nyah-Nyah (from your favorite magical girl anime). Said war is a contest of strength, skill, and one-uppmanship, where the both of you compete to give the other more elaborate and unexpected proposals until one of you emerges the victor – and is allowed to have the “canon” one true proposal.

HELL YES, you say, and begin to plot.

You propose to him at the pool, by getting a dance studio to perform a choreographed routine in the water which ends up spelling out, “Please marry me!”

He proposes to you in the movie theatre, where he rents out adspace that he uses to play a video he’s constructed where he waxes eloquent about how amazing you are.

You propose to him in the air and space museum, where you drop out of one of the airplanes with an explosion of balloons and the words, “Seven, will you marry me?” emblazoned on your face like war paint.

He proposes to you by paying a bunch of newbies in LOLOL to die with their corpses spelling out “Will you spend your life with me?”

You continue to trade blows like this for an entire month. Television, radio, the internet – everywhere, there are traces of your continual war. It isn’t until he takes you on a trip to New York and then hacks into the Time Square billboards to deliver his heartfelt and impassioned request that he finally wins, because you cannot think of a way to one-up that.

You do, however, help Seven evade the cops after that, which he is content to call a “draw” in the end.

(The two of you were so busy plotting that neither actually bought a ring, so you go to the jewelry store and chose matching ones together.)

[kings-of-freeside]

A L L O R N O T H I N G

@atomsmute @sonofodin56

for this! (thanks, guys! this kept me busy today while i was in render hell for six hours. they’re under the readmore!)

1) a song you can listen to on repeat

Dark Days by PUP! I actually frequently do listen to it on repeat during my commute.

2) a song from one of your favorite albums

Style - Taylor Swift (1989 is such a good album)

3) a song you loved when you were a teenager or kid

I Write Sins Not Tragedies came into my life when I was about nine and it’s never left.

Shit’s Gonna Be OK by I Fight Dragons was one I listened to a lot in high school, I don’t listen to the band as much anymore but I still love them.

4) a song that makes you feel strong

The Bullpen by Dessa. It’s all about being a woman in a male dominated field and I relate.

Looking Up -SafetySuit (”I say they’re looking up, Take on whatever ‘cause I’m feeling tough, You say I’m going down but I’m feeling so fine”)

5) a song that makes you sad

Miscarriage by Said the Whale. Absolutely gutted me when I heard it for the first time, doubly so when Tyler talked about it at the concert in May.

Fiddler’s Green by The Tragically Hip. It was actually played at my cousin’s funeral.

Spanish Sahara by Foals.

6) a song that cheers you up

Looking Up - SafetySuit !!!! please listen to it it is the best happy song I know it’s on this list twice just let me have this one

Demons / Get Better / Reasons Not To Be An Idiot, all by Frank Turner

Graveclothes by Birdtalker

A Little Rain (Song for Pete) - Arkells

7) a song that reminds you of your friend(s)

I Will Follow You Into The Dark has been one of mine and Emma’s songs for a lot of years.

Watermark by The Weakerthans reminds me so much of my core #squad, mainly because of the  “we’re talented and bright, we’re lonely and uptight, we’ve found some lovely ways to disappoint” lyrics

Also the entirety of Fall Out Boy’s American Beauty/American Psycho album is always gonna remind me of going to Calgary Expo with Mickie and Emma (and Shayda) but especially Favourite Record.

8) a song that reminds you of an ex partner or crush

Paris by Magic Man (“now darling, all that shit’s behind us, you never have to wonder, you never have to ask”)

The Way I Tend To Be by Frank Turner (“and then I catch myself catching your scent on someone else, in a crowded space, and it takes me somewhere I cannot quite place” -one of my former crushes/partners had a v distinct smell, not in a gross way or anything, but just a smell that was theirs and sometimes I still catch a whiff of it)

9)   a song that reminds you of yourself

Four Simple Words - Frank Turner (”this is my culture man, this is my home” in reference to concerts!! it’s just a v important song to me and when i saw it live it was so fucking incredible.)

Cardboard Castles - Watsky (”I’m still dreaming after all these years”)

Bonus “I wish this described me”/ ideal aesthetic song: Swooner - The Zolas

10) a song that brings back bad memories

Also kind of Get Better- it’s a bittersweet memory, I saw Frank Turner live with someone who isn’t my life anymore (for a very good reason) but at the time he was one of my best friends and we made eye contact and smiled at each other as Frank sang “the best people I know are looking out for me” and in the moment it was the best but now it makes me sad.

11) a song that brings back good memories

Wish I Knew You by the Revivalists was on in the car when I found a murder hamlet on a late night drive to go stargazing with two very dear friends of mine who I haven’t known for very long so the “wish I knew you when I was young” lyric is pretty perfect and whenever I hear it I think about that night and it makes me happy even though I don’t even like the song that much.

12) a song that grew on you

Take It All Back by Judah & The Lion. Did not like it at all when I first heard it. But then I got really into it. I was going to go to their show last spring but my ID didn’t come in time so I couldn’t, my sister sold her ticket but not mine so I just lost that money. Still kinda sad about that one.

13) a song from a musical

Dead Girl Walking from Heathers. I sing it in the shower aaaaaaall the time.

14) a song with a great music video

Escape Artist- The Zolas (pls just watch it)

Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko (im gay)

Genghis Khan - Miike Snow

15) a song that’s better as a cover

Hurt - Johnny Cash (sorry not sorry, nine inch nails)

16) a song that’s better acoustic

And Then Some by Arkells. The acoustic version is swoonworthy. (and not that much different from the original but still!!)

17) a song with great lyrics

Tiny Glowing Screens, pt 2- Watsky. Technically a poem but (shrug emoji). Super powerful, and one of my favourite moments of my trip to France a few years back wasn’t in France, it was on the plane there, when everyone else was asleep and this song came up on shuffle and I listened to it while I looked out the window.

18) a song for summer

Anna Sun- Walk The Moon & The Suburbs - Arcade Fire.

Both were on constant rotation during the summers I was 14-16, and they remind me really strongly of a former best friend that I still talk to but am not as close with anymore, and all of the shenanigans we got up to.

19) a song for heartache

Mittens - Frank Turner

20) a song for car rides

One Foot - Walk The Moon. If I go on any friend roadtrips this summer it is for sure gonna be on the playlist

If You Wanna - The Vaccines is also just a really good roadtrip montage type song I think.

Also Ways To Go by Grouplove.

21) a song for the rain

Beautiful Morning - Said the Whale. It literally starts with “it’s raining, it’s pouring”, lol)

The Great Collapse - The Zolas (v good rainy day vibe)

22) a song for dancing

I Got You by Hollerado

Get Dark by the Zolas

Canyon Moon by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness (the chorus is TOO GOOD)

Confidence by Said the Whale

Kiss The Misfits by Felix Hagan & The Family

23) a song for making out

I Wanna Be Yours/ Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You/ Knee Socks - Arctic Monkeys (I’ve never made out with anyone but like. C'mon.)

24) a song for a lover

The Light is You - Said the Whale. I’ve wanted it to be the first dance song at my wedding for as long as I can remember.

Norway - The Paper Tigers. It’s just really effing cute.

25) a song from before you were born

After Hours - The Velvet Underground

26) a song from a band that’s no longer together

Watch The Sky - Something Corporate

27) a song you’ve seen live

Hey Jude - The Beatles (when I saw Paul McCartney!)

Raised by The Radio - Mitch Rossell (I’d never heard of him before I saw him open for Garth Brooks but I loved him. i was born and raised on music, it’s always been such a huge part of my life, and this song describes that feeling) (i can’t find a recording of this song on youtube so the link is spotify im sorry)

Lilac And Willow - Said the Whale. I remember listening to the album for the first time and thinking “I’m so excited to see this one live” and it lived up to expectations in every way, Ben’s voice is so good and distinctive and comforting.

28) a song you want to see live

I’d literally kill to see Hey I Want You by Felix Hagan & The Family live. It would be so much fun.

Black and Blue by Miike Snow (I missed them when they were in town D:)

29) a song by a band you don’t usually like

Closer - The Chainsmokers (& Halsey). Most Chainsmokers stuff is just… meh.

30) a song you recommend

Blossom - Milky Chance. It’s been my go to for a couple weeks now

[aristotleblinked]

Massive Musical Medley part 1

For @balloonarcade You asked for this! Behold.

Hypothesis: Sideswipe

Youtube

Below are links to the individual videos, lyrics, and notes.

Fitz And The Tantrums:The Walker 

Ooh, crazy's what they think about me Ain't gonna stop 'cause they tell me so 'Cause 99 miles per hour baby Is how fast that I like to go Can't keep up with my rhythm Though they keep trying Too quick for the lines they throw I walk to the sound of my own drum We go, they go, we go, hey yeah yeah yeah

Fitz And The Tantrums:Spark

It's time we light it up Our match is to the grave The tension's driving in We ain't looking down

Watch how we take the throne Drop like a cannonball We take the lead, no We're never gonna follow

Royal Republic: When I See You Dance With Another

When I see you dance with another I can't bring myself not to bother When I see you dance with another (Come on!) When I see you talk to another When I see you talk to another I got no choice but to go undercover When I see you dance with another, come on! HO! HA! HO! I can't get you off of my mind

Arctic Monkeys:Brick By Brick

I wanna build you up (brick by brick) I wanna break you down (brick by brick) I'm gonna reconstruct (brick by brick) I wanna feel your love Brick by brick (ah) Brick by brick (ah) I wanna steal your soul (brick by brick) I wanna rock and roll (brick by brick) I wanna rock and roll (brick by brick) I wanna rock and roll

Fitz And The Tantrums:Get Right Back 

In my head, I'm at home I'm in the part of my life, a life on the ropes Higher ground, been so low I will survive in the wild, a mind of my own

Oh mister, I won't change my ways I don't hear a word you say, hey hey If you think I'm good as gone, no no You're dead wrong, you're dead wrong I move on

Awolnation:Jailbreak

Ah-ah-ah-ah See I've been working on a jailbreak Got no time for a mistake Any moment 'til the day breaks No more time to get to know you

Now I'm living in a dream (Ah-ah) Now I'm living in a dream (Ah-ah) And I don't think I'm ever gonna wake up

Mother Mother:Wrecking Ball

I made a wreck of my hand I put it through the wall I made a fist and not a plan Call me a reckless wrecking ball

I am unruly in the stands I am a rock on top of the sand I am a fist amidst the hands And I break it Just because I can

Emilie Autumn:Liar

(I am also quite fond of the medical mix version)

I want to hold you to the sun I want to be your faithful one I want to show you all the beauty you don't even know you hold I'm hurting you for your own good I'd die for you, you know I would I'd give up all my wealth to buy you back the soul you never sold I want to mix our blood and put it in the ground So you can never leave I want to win your trust, your faith, your heart You'll never be deceived

Foster The People:Best Friend

(When your best friend's all strung out) You do everything you can 'cause you're never gonna let it get 'em down (When you find it all around) Yeah, it comes in waves, but it's hardest from the start Feelings sleeping in the field again But I can feel, I can feel, I can feel it's beginning to end Yeah, premonitions smiling in the dark Well, I can see, I can see, I can see the story's starting to arc

Steam Powered Giraffe:Honeybee

You didn't have to smile at me Your grin's the sweetest that I've ever seen But you did. Yes you did You didn't have to offer your hand 'Cause since I've kissed it I am at your command But you did 

twenty one pilots:Can't Help Falling In Love

Wise men say "Only fools rush in" But I can't help Falling in love with you Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help Falling in love with you

Take my hand Take my whole life too 'Cause I can't help Falling in love with you

Arcade Fire:Wake Up

Children wake up, hold your mistake up Before they turn the summer into dust If the children don't grow up Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up We're just a million little gods causing rain storms Turning every good thing to rust I guess we'll just have to adjust

Steam Powered Giraffe:Electricity Is In My Soul 

I snuck outside once you fell asleep And I walked down the road To give my electronics an overload It's easy to be angry at something That you don't understand And people tend to be stubborn with where they stand I know you don't like how I feed But please try to remember it's natural for a thing like me

 Mother Mother:Getaway

In a dream, on a wave I could tunnel underground or I could float away From it all, on a holiday - bon voyage I wanna get away from what I know I could shoot into the sun (shoot) I could be the bullets of a Gatling gun Disappear, another Dillinger on the run I wanna get away from everything and everyone

Mother Mother:Happy

Ask me if I'm happy I don't know If it is a place we need to go Ask me if I'm happy I don't care Maybe I'd be happy if you disappear

Ask me if I'm happy What does it mean? I'll tell you that I am if you tell me I'm dreaming To wake up in a place I've never been Wake up to a face I've never seen Wake up with the purest sense of being

Son Lux:Plan The Escape

Leave the wasting world behind us We will make it out alive Leave the waiting world behind us We will not look back this time Hold on to our reasons And plan the escape Hold on to our reasons And plan the escape

The Naked And Famous:Punching In A Dream

They'll get through, they'll get you In the place that you fear it the most In the corner, where it’s warmer In the face that you wish was a ghost Woah, woah, woah, woah Woah, woah, woah, woah Wait, I don't ever wanna be here Like punching in a dream Breathing life into my nightmare

Bonus Tracks

Trailbreaker

Alabama Shakes:Don't Wanna Fight

Take from my hands Put in your hands The fruit of all my grief Lying down ain't easy When everyone is pleasing I can't get no relief Living ain't no fun The constant dedication Keeping the water and power on There ain't no money left Why can't I catch my breath? I'm gonna work myself to death

Cake:Friend Is A Four Letter Word

 To me Coming from you Friend is a four letter word End is the only part of the word That I heard Call me morbid or absurd But to me Coming from you Friend is a four letter word

(Design Notes: All of Sideswipe’s songs have a singer in them, because he’s people oriented and craves social contact. I put the louder upbeat songs first, because it’s the front he wants people to see. Under the song Liar are things and feelings he tries to hide. Beneath the love songs are things he’s hiding from Sunstreaker as well.

The videos are my favorite songs and they’re all clustered towards the top. It’s what Sideswipe would do!)

[sapphiresea]

Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask Answer them all hehe

questions for lgbt ladies #lgbtask                        

i’ll skip the ones i’ve already done. see previous post for answers.

1 ) how do you define your sexuality? lesbian af.2 ) at what age did you first realize that you like girls? my first crush was at age 8 but i didn’t recognize it as such until i was looking back later. my first inkling was when i was thirteen and my teacher said that one in ten people are gay, which meant at least two or three of us in my class were gay and i was like, “i wonder who the others are,” and then panicked. there were a few times like that and many a woman i ‘admired’ but i didn’t acknowledge it until i was nineteen.3 ) how out are you? pretty out. there’s only a few people left in my regular life who don’t know.5 ) who was the first person you came out to? how did they take it? the first person i told was courtney, who later became my first girlfriend. so that’s how she took it lol.6 ) has coming out lost you any friends? yup. not many, thankfully, but one of my best friends from high school was dating a super-homophobic ( and just all around terrible ) guy and he convinced her to stop being my friend. and considering how disgusted she acted whenever i did talk about my gf at the time, i was kind of over it anyway. i do kind of miss her sometimes though.7 ) what is your current relationship status? in a relationship~8 ) how many gay friends do you have? online? like a billion. offline? like one lmao.9 ) how many male friends do you have? i have a few male friends but only two i’d consider myself close to: peter and miguel.10 ) have you ever cut your hair super short? nope. chin-length was the shortest i ever went and i hated it.11 ) how often do you wear flannel? listen... i counted up all the plaids in my closet a few months ago and it totalled twelve. and i have since bought at least four more. a better question is how often am i not wearing it.12 ) how much do you like cats? i’m currently trying to get a new kitten, so every time someone in the house does something well, i’m like, “wow, you deserve a kitten!” and every time they don’t, i tell them, “that’ll cost you one kitten.” so far no bites. but i really, really love cats.13 ) do you like skirts and dresses? sometimes, if i’m in the mood...which isn’t often.15 ) do you have any tattoos? if so, how many and where? i do. i have two; one on each wrist. on my right wrist is my first tattoo, a triquetra, and on my left is an infinity arrow. i just got that one a week ago.16 ) how accurate is your gaydar? unfortunately my ‘gaydar’ is often very confused with my ‘please-be-gay-dar.’17 ) have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? yep. we only really have one here and it mostly tailors to men and straight girls, so i don’t like it that much. i went to a couple out of town. the one in san francisco ( i’m blanking on its name ) was by far the best.18 ) how do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? it’s so annoying. straight girls who refer to their female friends as ‘girlfriend’ owe me and all other sapphics $20 cash.19 ) have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? isn’t that, like, the most universal lesbian experience?20 ) ellen or portia? excuse me, what do you mean or ??? they’re the best together. but portia is my actual hero.21 ) is your nose pierced? nope.22 ) would you ever want to get married? if i meet a woman i’m certain i want to spend my life with, absolutely.23 ) will you wear a dress for your wedding? probably. 25 ) have you ever watched the l word? i watched the first season and maybe it makes me a bad lesbian, but i couldn’t get it into it.26 ) have you ever dated a guy? yep. nothing serious, though. i mean i literally gagged kissing one of them, so...27 ) how do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? they’re probably stupid, dumb, and boring if they’re still using it for that.28 ) how many rainbow items do you own? lmao so many. my favorite recent addition is monty puckers, my stuffed gay gorilla.29 ) have you ever been to a pride festival? i just went to the one in my city last week.30 ) have you ever celebrated national coming out day ( october 11 )? i’ll usually post stuff about it and in support of all my lgbt siblings, but i’ve never uesd it to come out, myself.31 ) have you ever participated in the national day of silence? considering this is the first i’ve heard of it, no. but now i’m going to google to find out more.32 ) have you ever worn a woman’s suit? no, but women in suits 💯👌🏻👅 sign me tf up.33 ) have you ever worn any men’s clothing? i own a couple flannels from the men’s section and a few tees, but not really. i like my stuff more fitted.35 ) do you consider yourself a feminist? absolutely. intersectional, of course.36 ) who is your favorite lgbt celebrity? kate mckinnon, in case you can’t tell from my blog, is my #1. portia de rossi, stephanie beatriz, aubrey plaza, ani difranco, and melissa etheridge are pretty high up there, too.37 ) are you religious at all? yes. i don’t go to church every sunday anymore, but i do consider myself a non-denominational christian.38 ) how often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? i stare a lot. it’s kind of a problem.39 ) what is your ideal first date? usually for first dates, i like something lowkey where we can just get to know each other. after that, i like stuff like arcades and amusement parks and lots of movie dates and netflix.40 ) are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, or dyke? i’m great with them if they come from other lesbians. if they come from non-lesbians, no. miss me with that homophobic crap. it’s not yours to reclaim.41 ) how outdoorsy are you? i’m allergic to sun, so not very. i love the forest and walking down by the river and visiting elbow falls and such, but i can’t really do much of that anymore without ending up wanting to die.42 ) in general, has being out affected your relationships with other females? sometimes it’s really weird and i do notice them treating me differently, but usually it’s fine.43 ) how much makeup do you typically wear? not a lot, but i do wear a full face any time i’m going out or having company over. i just feel more comfortable with it.45 ) are you more feminine or more masculine? definitely femme. even if i don’t wear the heels.46 ) how long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? are you still with that person? coming up on nine months and yes. 47 ) have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? no. i don’t usually date girls who look enough like me lol.48 ) do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? i think it’s not my place to decide how other people experience attraction.49 ) have you ever wished you were completely straight? i used to when i was younger. now i’m really glad i’m not because girls are amazing and i love being a lesbian.50 ) do you watch any lesbian youtubers? sometimes. usually stevie or ally hills or hannah hart. i don’t watch any youtubers regularly though.51 ) do you like wearing combat boots or doc martins? motorcycle boots are my jam.52 ) have you ever been hit on by another female? yes. often. and a shining moment for me was being asked out by a girl while waiting for my date ( another girl ) to arrive. ( i said ‘no,’ obviously, but i was proud of myself. )53 ) how athletic are you? 0%. faked injuries to get out of p.e.; only runs when chased.55 ) what is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? not really into it, personally, but if that’s what makes you happy, i’m not judging. some chicks look really hot with them.56 ) what does equality mean to you? it means equal rights and protections under the law, but it also means that one day those laws won’t even be needed because people won’t have to be told that we’re human, too. it means no more stupid ass debates about whether companies can deny service to lgbt patrons or idiots on television saying lesbians caused the hurricanes. it means that kids won’t grow up thinking straight is the only option or that they’re somehow bad or wrong for being lgbt. it means we won’t all be assumed to be straight or cis.57 ) if you are not a full blown lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? uhhhh? i don’t know? i don’t fall for every girl i see, if that’s the question. i definitely notice when girls are really attractive. 58 ) have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? no, but honestly...goals.59 ) have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? no. that’s, like, one of my main criteria. it would be way too weird. and unfortunately i have one of the most common names for sapphic women around here. i would, however, make an exception for stephanie beatriz. 60 ) how flirty are you? i can be pretty flirty, but usually only with people i’m in relationships with or who have already expressed interest in me.61 ) are you a virgin? no.62 ) do you listen to any lgbt musicians such as tegan and sara, melissa etheridge, or chely wright? all of the above, yes. i almost exclusively listen to lgbt artists, with a few exceptions like rob giles and emily kinney.63 ) have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? yes. which i think is missing the entire point. other girls are too pretty for me not to be gay, and i’m not wasting myself on a dude.65 ) have you ever driven an suv or a pickup truck? i have not, as i am a terrible driver who would like the smallest car possible to avoid collision. i have, however, been picked up for dates in both and yes. a+ 10/10 do recommend.66 ) are you or have you ever been a tomboy? as a kid i always thought i wanted to be a tomboy but was far too girly...turns out i was just in love with the tomboys.67 ) agree or disagree: everyone is at least a little bit gay. disagree. sexuality is fluid for some and less for others.68 ) what personality trait are you most attracted to? sense of humor and kindness.69 ) boobs or butts? eyes. but also boobs.70 ) beer or wine? vodka.71 ) do you have a favorite lesbian movie? up until recently, it was imagine me & you. now it’s for sure a million happy nows. i’m still sobbing.72 ) from 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 10/10.73 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? depends on the girl and the glasses but 8-10/10.75 ) from 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 10/10. 76 ) from 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? i tend toward being attracted to long hair but honestly there are so many stunners with short hair like 15/10.77 ) from 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 10/10. although i usually go for a little femininity. that futch aesthetic is my greatest weakness.78 ) from 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 10/10.79 ) from 1-10, how attractive are tall women ( i.e. around 6 feet or taller )? wow. lemme climb you. i mean what80 ) have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? yes? 81 ) has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? no, i don’t think so.82 ) do you carry a purse? i try to avoid it.83 ) do you have any lgbt relatives? my mom’s uncle was gay and had a successful drag show in vancouver, but i was never allowed to meet him before he died. otherwise, nope. just me.85 ) would you ever date a trans girl? i mean, probably.86 ) how well do you think lgbt women are portrayed in television? lol that’s a joke, right? i’ve seen some good reps but usually we’re side characters or killed off and there isn’t a whole lot of diversity, so tv really needs to up its game as a whole.87 ) have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? listen... i’m the queen of falling for older women. i once dated a woman who was almost twice my age. although tbh it was a bit of a mistake for other reasons.88 ) do you have any celebrity crushes? do i??? someone find me lauren cohan so i can propose immediately.89 ) do you have any opinions on lgbt people in the military? yeah, my opinion is fuck off with your homophobia and transphobia. someone’s risking their life to keep your company safe, you can shut the fuck up about what’s between their legs or who they choose to spend their lives with.90 ) do you believe in love at first sight? nah. i believe in attraction / crushes / lust and being really drawn to someone, but you can’t know you love someone until you actually know them as a person. otherwise you’re just projecting your ideas of what you want them to be.91 ) would you ever have a threesome? if so, would a guy be included? i’m too jealous for a threesome. i’d just be crying the whole time lmao. and a guy would never, ever be included even if i did somehow change my mind.92 ) where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ideally? out in the wild, like, in class or at a bookstore or something. realistically, on an app like her.93 ) is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? i’m sure somewhere out there it exists, but i’ve yet to find it.95 ) how often do you wear a bra? whenever i go out or have company over. if i’m just lounging at home, i don’t tend to bother.96 ) have you ever been part of a softball team? nope. like i said, 0% athletic.97 ) if you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? well, it wasn’t really a choice to begin with? but if it was, yes, i would.98 ) what stereotype about lgbt women do you disagree with the most? miss me with that predatory lesbian bullshit.99 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? give yourself time. don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. labels can be great, but don’t stress too hard if you don’t know what you are or don’t want to define yourself. just respect yourself and do what makes you happy. and fuck what other people think.100 ) what advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? be safe and don’t feel pressured to tell anyone you don’t want to tell. your safety and comfort is top priority.

[rkyura-blog]

LOADING ↺ . . .   ( 0:00 / 5:32 )   

                                      VLOG:  보고 싶다 ( I MISS YOU ) — FOR MY MOM 

       ✧   —     “hi everyone, this is leilani,” 

there’s perplexing stability both in the shot and in her voice as she skates along. a hand that doesn’t shake and a voice that doesn’t waver, she’s just as loud as ever. “i know it’s been a long time since i posted a video like this. shocking, right? i know. you’re all wondering how i could ever be late? isn’t it crazy?” she laughs, knowing full well that the only people who would expect ahyoung to be anywhere on time are those who don’t know her well enough yet. these videos to update her family and friends back home on her life are available for anyone to watch, but they’re a habit she only picked up her sixth month in seoul. 

the thought didn’t occur to her, especially when this youtube account is less touched than her skateboarding one. she appears on youtube more than often enough through her friends’s videos, even their studio’s but when it comes to posting on her own account, she’s more likely and definitely more easily found on instagram. the people who have connected her skateboarding youtube channel to this one are a rare few and she’s content to keep it that way, for now anyway. plans are slowly set into motion but the motivation for this vlog is a little more selfish— she misses her mom. 

“are you guys ready?” and her intro ends the same way it always does, with a kick, push and a fade into black as she sets off full speed. it’s times like this that she doesn’t know how else to move forward without running. 

a plain background, boxes that flood the room, and piles of clothing that have yet to be sorted let alone folded, she’s laying on the couch in what passes as their main office area, hair fanning out behind her. “i have a new job. again, i know. it’ll probably be easier to show you than to explain but that’ll have to wait until next time. i—” 

there’s a loud crash and she’s sighing, the camera switching focus. a blur of reds and blues as it falls onto one of the many piles in the room. “seungjae, i told you not to open that door!” 

a few seconds of clattering follow before the camera is picked up again and her hair is astray from having gotten up in a rush only to try and tame her rage at the amount of work now undone because of her friend’s mistake. “next time might be further away than i’d like. but the good news is maybe seungjae won’t be here next time ( he yells hey in the background and she rolls her eyes ). don’t worry, i’m not threatening his health. just his job.” 

a flurry of brown hair tries to shove its way into the frame, a handsome face, to yura’s dismay, appearing after many failed attempts. “she’s lying, i’m her favorite employee.” 

“you’re the only one besides me and dohee.” 

“that means you need me!” 

“or a help ad.” 

this time, yura’s not the one holding the camera, editing footage that she was told she has to include or she can’t come into work the next day— which yura would be okay with if she didn’t want the paycheck. no matter what hyeri says, she can’t mooch off of her best friend. her pride is too strong for that, and her instinct to be the more providing one comes crawling its way out of her core. she’s used to taking care of others, not being taken care of. say what you want about her, but it could never be said that she didn’t look out for her mother or her sister. even her grandfather, with secrets kept to herself for that very purpose. 

the amount of people who have seen and unfortunately heard ( because she can live with being seen dancing like an idiot, she does that on the daily for fun ) will be more than triple what it was because of the amount of people yura is sure will watch the video once it’s uploaded and her own caption reads as this, “just wait for my revenge!” that, she knows will also get her a few texts once it’s done buffering.  

the river is quieter than usual, the wind a soft caressing whisper compared to the roar it had been the other day, and she’s more than thrilled about it as she skates along it, she’s enthralled. it isn’t one of her vlogs if it doesn’t show her skating around to show where she’s been and where she’s going. it’s where she’s going that is the most unknown. an impulsive habit that can’t be kicked. restlessness that won’t be tamed. 

this time, she’s at an arcade, shooting the hell out of some... aliens? must have to do with the movie coming out soon. oh... did it already come out? it’s more of a movie jongdae would be into and for that, she makes a note to find out later but at the moment, she’s in an intense showdown. a shoot-out with who she assumes to be something along the lines of a general or lieutenant and she has to do her grandfather proud if that’s true. the only lieutenant yura ever wants to let beat her at shooting is her grandfather. 

the myeongdong district is both her and dohee’s domain. one of the ultimate shopping meccas in seoul and they take great advantage of it, especially now for their newest venture and this is yura’s sneaky way of hinting at what her newest job is. while she’s still working at the bowling alley once or twice a week, she can’t deny this is her favorite. how many people get to shop for a living? she thought she already would have that lifestyle by studying interior design but following fashion trends too? the excitement pools in her core and spills out in the way she points here and there, moving at hummingbird speed until dohee is seen following her around exhaustedly. there’s a laugh when yura says they’re finished into the camera only to be followed by dohee’s cheers. you could practically hear the finally in her expression. 

the night winds down — even if yura’s energy seems as high as it was when she began the vlog and she’s humming softly while listening to music, head bopping along as she browses the internet. fingers tap loudly against the keyboard and there’s the faint clicking of her mouse heard between the beats until she comes across old footage. a video she made for her mother when she was younger— younger, she thinks. as if it was that long ago, but the truth is after living through almost two seoul winters it feels like a lifetime ago. two years ago, she recorded part of this. two years ago, she was still living at home and waking up to her mother’s cooking, to her sister’s enthusiastic yelling, and to her grandfather’s mumbling as he reads the morning paper. that routine is gone, never to come back again, and she misses it. she misses everything. she misses them, she misses her mom. “okay, so don’t laugh when you see this but i found something i did a while ago for my mom and... well, i want to do it again. first, i’ll let you see the high school me again.” 

sunkissed tresses are shades lighter than they are in the present and yura’s rapping. a cover of kisum’s to mom. it’s the perfect song. one of yura’s favorites to dedicate to her mom and she still does to this day. the video back then had faded into clips of her mother throughout her childhood and even now, a hand pushed out to block yura or hana from recording. she didn’t look presentable, she would say but to yura and hana their mother is the prettiest woman in the world. it’s a soft fade back into the present and she tries to recreate the final ending shot of herself then, trying to position herself into the right spot in the frame and laughing when she’s three inches off. “ugh, so close! but, ahem,” she laughs again when she clears her throat, hair tucked behind her ear as she plays the instrumental. “

♫ , you were pretty since birth, high-bridged nose, such clear eyes, better than the best 

i like it when you smile, like the morning sun, you dazzle  i get happy just looking at you

her mother’s smile could get her through anything, through the dirty words people spoke of the woman yura admired most. they were all lies, that much she could convince herself of completely whenever she saw the sun in the curl of tired lips. the lyrics are pulled up on the screen but it comes back to her like muscle memory. how could she ever really forget this song when it resonates so deeply in her soul? it’s true, her mom has superpowers. there’s no other explanation for such strength, even when yura knew there was weakness hiding within, she’d seen it, her mother hid it from them the best she could. she lived her life the best she could and, for that, yura could never fault her mother. not for a single thing. not if she could help it. after all, 

♫ , i’m not showing off,        anyone can see,       now look carefully           ( see? right? )        that’s my mom 

      who i love the most in the world          —    my love, my mommy    ♥

[wolfleblack]

The seething mass of bodies all packed into one place is a stark reminder of just how big games have become since I was but a lad in the ’90s where it was still seen, along with comics, as a geeky hobby. Now it seems everyone plays games, either casually on a phone or tablet for a few minutes a day or on a custom PC that costs a terrifying amount of money. Games are just part of everyday life now, and conventions are springing up all over the place. Now there are people from all walks of life celebrating a medium that has gone from strength to strength. Walking the concrete floors are kids, teenagers, moms, dads, businessmen, grandfathers, grandmothers and more. There are no barriers now that games have gotten almost complete mainstream acceptance, and it’s amazing to see.

This is 4TG’s second year, and stepping into the venue at Aberdeen AECC I was eager to see if it had gotten bigger since its 2016 debut. It had. Sure, the event isn’t managing to attract some of the big players just yet, so there’s no representative of Sony demonstrating a new exclusive or Activision showing off the latest Call of Duty, but there are some indie developers who want to let the public see their work,  and up on stage there’s a Street Fighter tournament raging while the other side of the room has Overwatch matches being played as a large crowd watches on with rapt attention. Maybe Ubisoft isn’t here to reveal more about Assassin’s Creed or unveil the newest generic open-world game involving towers you have to climb, but that isn’t stopping thousands upon thousands of people having a bloody good time. They’re all at 4TG for the same reason, a love of games and that means, at least for the day, everybody is friends.

There’s no better example of that than LAN gaming. In the middle of the floor is a bunch of consoles and computers hooked up for some LAN action, and plenty of people are taking advantage. I’m one of them. I’ve barely been here about two minutes, and yet I’m already battling in the new Unreal Tournament which left me feeling more impressed with it than I thought it would, even if it is quite bare bones. It might have helped that I managed to win several matches, though, something that probably colored my perception of the gameplay. There’s a lack of conversation between the people sitting around the table which left me a bit disappointing, perhaps a symptom of them being used to standard multiplayer gaming, but there’s still a sense of camaraderie. People are throwing their hands up in despair or grinning at the others. At one point me and the person sitting next to me have a pretty epic back and forth battle that I eventually win, and as he puts his hands behind his head and grimaces a wave of satisfaction washes over me. Winning is fun, but it’s even better when you see the reaction of the opponent and then both share a smile.

Another bank of machines are playing host to CS:GO, and much like the Unreal Tournament zone snatching a free chair is unlikely due to the sheer volume of people walking around. Everybody wants a chance to play, so it’s good that for the most part people are putting in a match or two and then leaving to make room for others.

Off to the other side there’s loads of machines set up for Minecraft, and they proved popular with the kids. There are a few bigger screens for some split-screen action, too, which is nice to see. Other family orientated games are scattered around the place, like Sonic & Sega All-Star Racing Transformed, complete with two steering wheels, and some Super-Mario Brawl. There are some arguments that flare up over people who fail to understand the etiquette of taking turns, but even these are polite as other gamers step in and explain that other people need to get some time as well.

Retro gaming was nice to see back, too, with a load of classic consoles hooked up to a bunch of various monitors and TVs. Arguably some of my favorite moments were watching younger gamers trying to get to grips with mechanics and gameplay ideas that were almost alien to them. There was even a classic Street Fighter arcade machine setup which I couldn’t resist having a blast on before getting my ass handed to me. Fighting games are never going to be my forte.

Actually, no. I retract my statement. Watching people experience VR for the first time might just be the coolest thing at the entire convention. From children to adults to parents and grandparents the reactions were always fascinating to watch. This year we had several demo areas for things like Serious Sam and the same underwater demonstration that I tried last year, plus two indie devs were showing off their titles, too. As much as I enjoy VR I’m still far from convinced that it’s ever going to become something most people have unless we see large drops in price, both in terms of the headsets themselves and in the cost of the hardware needed to power it., Regardless, though, there’s no denying that VR is a stunning experience that captures the imagination and it was a pleasure just to watch other people try it out for the first time.

Corsair were in attendance, their little corner of the even being home to the likes of their Strafe RGB keyboards as well as glowing computers that had enough internal lighting to rival the sun itself. They were bright, gaudy, and thus in the middle of a massive gaming event a massive attraction. They weren’t selling anything directly, rather they were there to simply build their already sizable reputation. Given the waiting time I never got a chance to go inside and try out some of custom-built machines they were running, but I did briefly get some hands on time with the Strafe keyboard and was impressed. Maybe I’ll manage to snag one for a future review.

Razer were in force, seemingly every booth I looked at running a Razer laptop, keyboard, mouse or all three. Their double-decker black and green bus was back, too, and to this day I still have no idea what’s in it. The wait to get in is sizable, so two years in a row I’ve joined the line and two years in a row I’ve eventually given up and ambled off in search of food. Turns out Dominoes sponsoring a gaming event and supply huge pizzas is a dangerously alluring thing., One day I’ll pass through those hallowed doors into ther Razer bus, though. Maybe nirvana awaits me, eh? Or maybe it’s just a bus filled with green and black gear. Having spent some time playing Unreal Tournament using a Razer keyboard I can at least say I’d like to get some of their gear in for review. It felt nice, and its been a while since I’ve reviewed any of their products.

In the indie section I did get some hands-on time with a promising title by the name of Skye where players take on the role of a dragon cruising through a serene and vibrant valley. Taking place in a low-poly 2D landscape the focus is, according to the developers, on creating a more relaxed experience with some light puzzling. Despite the game probably not launching until 2018 they’ve already succeeded – amid the chaos and noise of a convention it was easy to get lulled into a relaxed state thanks to the smooth, responsive controls and simple puzzles. As a dragon you’re capable of interacting with certain objects such as giant magnifying glasses that are used to help some crops grow, or noisy bells needed to wake a character up. It looks like a game that isn’t going to blow your mind, but a low pricepoint, appealing graphics and the emphasis on relaxed exploration might make it worth checking out. Hopefully I’ll know more in the coming months.

I also sat down with Guardians from Squid Punch, a top-down arena-battler where you and three other people are given the chance to first lay down a few traps in the small arena before then spawning in and attempting to murder everyone, usually by pushing them into the various traps. It’s a fun idea but in its current state there wasn’t much to enjoy. Even using the basic kick felt off as there was a sizable delay between hitting the button and the game reacting. They admitted they were having problems, though. I’ll try to find out more over the coming months.

As for the guest stage there were a number of people who took a seat and chatted to the audience. Probably the highlight, at least to me, was the Scottish Youtuber panel as it was nice to see upcoming talent highlighted, and they were all down-to-earth people providing realistic and sensible advice to people who wanted to get into streaming or Youtube creation.

The stage was also used for a cosplay masquerade toward the end of the show. Being a more videogame focused event cosplayers were in limited supply, but there were still a few people who decided to don a costume and make some people smile. You can find a small gallery of the pictures I took of them below. Speaking of pictures, I do apologise for the quality of the snaps on display. The lighting isn’t conducive to photography and my own skills with a camera are far from impressive.

As you can see above there were even some pinballs machines where a competition was being held with a trophy going to those with the best scores. I’d honestly forgotten how much fun pinball machines were. There’s something very satisfying about pinging that little ball around, watching it bounce around a load of obstacles and paths. Sadly I can’t convince my family to let me put one in the house. They don’t know what they’re missing.

Oh, and did I mention they had archery tag? I mean, c’mon! That’s like….the most awesome thing ever.

But as appealing as the myriad of computers and consoles and pinball machines and crazy archers strewn around the venue may be, and as tempting as some of the shiny baubles to purchase are, it’s the people that make the event. There’s something indescribable about events like this, a sort of camaraderie that stems from a shared love of something. Their the kind of people you can strike up a conversation with, and then not see again until the next year, and so on and so on and so on until you’re all meeting up each year using zimmer frames.

With just two years under its belt I can’t quite recommend this as a convention worth coming from far and wide to attend. At least, not yet. Give it another year or two, though, and I can see 4TG becoming one of the UK’s biggest game related events and hopefully somewhere where even the large companies will want to have a presence. As it stands it’s incredibly fun and filled with people worth meeting, chatting with and then shooting in the head. In-game, obviously.

I mean, it’s almost like being sociable.

Almost.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Adventures At 4TG Game Con 2017, Aberdeen The seething mass of bodies all packed into one place is a stark reminder of just how big games have become since I was but a lad in the '90s where it was still seen, along with comics, as a geeky hobby.