#this is after my veilguard fic so characters are in places they arent in game sorry

[ode-to-fury]

In The Wake Of Saving The World

Ch.1: Saying Goodbye

Parings: Rook/Lucanis (established), Illario/Davrin (just you fucking wait) Neve/Rana (implied)

Summary: Davrin had made her a promise. Survive the gods, save the world, then go South to see the Dales together. He'd lived for it. Now they were free to go, but things always tended to get complicated when Rook was involved.

Lucanis woke up because of someone knocking at the door.

He came awake slowly, groggy, groaning. Uncharacteristic of him, really, but Maker’s blood, he had never been so tired in his life.

Rook was curled into his chest, a hand resting over his heart, the other curled up under her chin. She smelled of honey and lightning and the scented oils that Dorian kept in the washroom off this bedchamber, and Lucanis wished he could stay in this soft moment with her for the rest of eternity.

There was another knock at the door, and it smashed straight through his serenity.

It was a testament to how tired both of them were that Rook did not even stir. She kept breathing the slow, even breaths of sleep, usually the lightest sleeper in Thedas.

He was glad she had at least slept through the night. After the last fight at the Archon’s palace, she’d barely made it a few hours before the nightmares had started. Neither of them had gotten much sleep after that.

Smells like leather and spice, Spite said as he gently rose from the bed, careful not to wake Rook as he did so. Smells like hurts and regret.

Illario, then. It was useful, sometimes, to have Spite with him.

He quickly threw on a pair of trousers, deciding the ones he had discarded on the floor the night before would be too wrinkled for his cousin’s tastes. The last thing he wanted was Illario making fun of him for how he dressed.

He grinned, though, because the trousers were on the floor in the first place because of Rook. Because he had found someone who hated large parties as much as he did. Who would slip away and sip wine in the bath with him instead.

“Cousin,” Illario greeted him with a suave grin as he opened the door, and it was too early in the morning for him to be pretending like everything was alright. It was too early in the morning for him to be pretending he thought Lucanis would be glad to see him at all.

“Good to see you.”

“Keep your voice down,” Lucanis hissed at him. If he woke Rook, Lucanis would punch him. And it was too early in the morning for that, too.

Illario wiggled perfectly plucked eyebrows at him, his grin turning suggestive.

“Have a good night?” He asked, and at least he did lower his voice. Lucanis was in no mood to discuss any part of last night with his cousin.

He stared at Illario, who finally dropped the grin.

“Fine,” the other man said, still quietly, and any pretense was gone from his face. “I have a favour to ask your Rook.”

Lucanis scoffed at him.

“What makes you think I would let you anywhere near her?” He asked, offended even at the suggestion. He didn’t know who would come out worse after that meeting. “Besides, she’s still asleep, come back later.”

He made to close the door in Illario’s face, but his cousin stuck an embroidered boot out, and stopped him.

“Lucanis,” he said through the crack that was still open. “I know you’re leaving soon. Please.”

Lucanis stared at him for a long moment. He couldn’t remember his cousin ever using the word ‘please’ before.

He sighed, then, and nodded.

“Wait here."

“ Thank you,” Illario grinned again, right before Lucanis closed the door.

“Still want to rip him,” Spite said as Lucanis walked back to the bed. It was a massive four-poster, complete with curtains that Rook had told him she’d never used once while she was living here.

I’d pretend like I was some sort of princess from a story.

He smiled, watching her. The braid he had done for her before they went to sleep was sloppy and mostly falling out, and her bottom lip pouted out slightly as she slept.

He didn’t want to wake her. What he wanted most in the world was to curl up around her and keep her safe and warm forever.

“I know you still want to hurt him,” Lucanis said. “But he’s family. He is just an idiot, too.”

Spite huffed with something akin to annoyance.

He carefully crawled back toward her, then softly kissed her cheek, moving strands of hair the same colour as honey away from her face as he did so.

“Rook?” He said gently, prompting her to stir. “Amore? Wake up, vita mia.”

There were few things more wonderful than the small sound of protest she made as she tried to bury her face back in the pillow.

He kissed her cheek again, and she finally seemed to truly wake up.

“Mmmhhh?” She hummed, her eyes still closed as she stretched her arms up above her head. He heard her spine and shoulders popping as she did, winced slightly at the sounds. Regretted Illario’s presence even more when her movements moved the blankets down slightly…

He leaned down again and kissed her, feeling her smile into it as he did.

When he pulled back, her eyes were open. Grey today, reflecting the clouds gathered over Minrathous outside, with dark circles beneath them. The dimples in her cheeks were clearly visible as she smiled adoringly up at him.

For a moment, he forgot everything in the world that was not this.

The moment never lasted, however.

“Illario is here,” he made himself say, and her smile vanished like mist in the sun.

“What?” She frowned. “Why?”

“He says he would like to speak with you,” Lucanis shrugged.

“Well, tell him to bugger off until later,” she grouched, turning to go back to sleep.

He stopped her with a kiss.

“He says it’s urgent,” he said.

She huffed in annoyance, but then rolled her eyes at him.

“Fine,” she said after a moment. “Let me just… clean up and get dressed. Unless he would like to see me naked.”

“I’m not giving him that option,” he said seriously, and it earned him a grin.

He kissed her one last time, then rolled onto his side so she could get up.

Mierda, he thought as he watched her stretch on the edge of the bed. He could see the muscles in her back bunch together, the curves of her hips as she moved…

“ Tell her, Lucanis,” Spite said. “What Emmrich said.”

“Spite says you look pretty today,” he said as she walked toward the washroom. He traced the lines of her body with his eyes. Even the way she moved…

She lifted an eyebrow.

“Did you tell him he should say that?”

“No, Emmrich did,” he shrugged. “I am just surprised he listened.”

“Well, thank you, Spite,” she said into the air. It made his chest ache, and Spite basically preened.

“You could… join me in the bath, you know?” She asked him, pausing at the door holding a bundle of clothes.

“I should keep an eye on Illario,” he said, before thinking about it. She pouted at him.

“Don’t make that face,” he told her. He’d gotten slightly, ever so slightly, better at saying no to her pouts, but it cost him dearly, each time.

“You know I would rather be with you.”

“Do I?” She asked, her eyes twinkling.

“You do.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a sincere smile, and she blew him a kiss before going to bathe.

He sighed, then got up to find a shirt, and make sure Illario did not get himself into too much trouble while they waited for her to finish.

***

“You want,” Rook said, staring flatly at Illario, “To come with us. To Orlais.”

She could tell his smile was paper thin, and there was an edge of desperation to the way Signore Dellamorte the Lesser had asked her to accompany them.

“Why?”

She felt… better today. The injuries from those final confrontations with Elgar’nan and then Solas had been tended to, so now they were dull aches instead of throbbing wounds. She’d slept better last night, too. Hadn’t woken up screaming from a nightmare about Lace or Varric or the Fade prison. She was still so tired that standing up for this long was draining her, but it was better. She was better. And it was only the second day.

There was no doubt in her mind the nightmares would come back, but she would take small moments of relief where she could find them.

“Can a man not simply want to spend time with his cousin?” He asked smoothly, spreading his hands in front of him, the picture of innocence. “A cousin recently returned as if from the dead, I remind you.”

Rook almost shot a bolt of lightning at him. She could feel it crackling at the edge of her fingers, but if she shot a hole in Dorian’s hallway wall, she’d never hear the end of it, and missing their midday boat was not worth it.

She lifted an eyebrow at him.

“Really?” She asked, making a show of inspecting her nails. She could play games, too, if she wanted to.

“I think it’s because you’re afraid.”

Illario blinked.

Got you.

Evidently Caterina had said something to him. Or one of the other Talons. Or all of them. It was difficult to think of anyone in Thedas who had a bigger target on their back just then than Illario Dellamorte. And of course he had come crawling to the one person that would never turn him aside.

Or at least the person who could convince that one person to not turn him aside, just as she had the last time.

“You can rot,” she said flatly, and the widening of his eyes told her she was more right than she’d thought. He was afraid.

“Unless you stop lying.”

Illario’s jaw clenched. He was wearing a magnificently embroidered light blue shirt, with the top three buttons undone to show just the right amount of chest to be alluring but not cheap.

“What makes you think I would lie to you, Rook?” He asked, his voice not betraying any turmoil. “I hurt my cousin, I am aware. Perhaps I simply want to make it up to him.”

There was truth to that, she knew. But only some. She’d spent enough time around Leliana and the nobles in Orlais to know a half-truth when she heard one.

She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back against the wall, just looking at him.

That one she had learned from Emmrich.

A few moments passed, and when she simply kept looking at him, Illario began to fidget.

He frowned at her.

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me why you want to come,” she said.

“Why does it matter ?”

She shrugged, perhaps slightly enjoying his discomfort.

“Humour me.”

He growled with frustration.

“Caterina refuses to let me stay in the house, alright?” He finally bit out. “She wants nothing to do with me, and without her protection, I am a sitting duck for the other Talons. The only way I can see of staying alive long enough to think of a new plan is if I come with the two of you."

She smiled sweetly at him. Him losing his composure was a lot more enjoyable to watch than it should be. Especially after he had woken her up. For this.

“See?” She said, even more sweetly. “That wasn’t so difficult.”

He scowled at her.

“So?” He asked. “Can I come with you?”

“Ask Lucanis,” she said, pushing away from the wall.

“What?” Illario caught her arm in a bruising grip. “Lucanis- “

“Is the one who got hurt because of you,” she cut him off, “And the only one who gives a shit whether you live or die.”

“Lucanis doesn’t want to talk to me.”

She looked at him, exasperated.

“Maker’s balls but there are no two bigger idiots in Thedas,” she said lifting her eyes to the ceiling.

“Lucanis decides whether you come,” she said, putting a note of finality in her voice. “I don’t care.”

She caught his wrist and channeled fire, burning him just enough that he let go of her arm with a hissed curse in Antivan, then she walked back into her room to pack, slamming the door behind her.

“Illario wants to talk to you,” she told Lucanis, who had been standing close by the door, listening in on their conversation.

“Before we leave.”

She felt a rush of affection for him when he didn’t act like he hadn’t been eavesdropping.

“Do you think it’s true?” He asked her, frowning at the door. No doubt Illario was standing on the other side, listening in just as he had been.

She rubbed the skin on her arm where he had grabbed her, hoping there wouldn’t be bruises, and wishing she’d given him a worse burn.

“That Caterina kicked him out of the house?” She opened her rucksack and started shoving shirts and pants in. When she looked up, Lucanis was shaking his head at her, a smirk on his face.

“Yes,” he said. “If you fold the clothes, you can fit more of them, cara mia.”

“I think,” she shoved another pair of trousers in, looking him in the eye as she did, “He was too reluctant to tell me for it to not be true. Also, why would Caterina want to keep him safe? She’s barely spoken to you after… everything. And you’re still her favourite.”

Lucanis’s shoulders tensed, and she regretted mentioning the rift between him and his grandmother, but it was true.

He sighed in frustration, a hand going up to tug at his beard as he thought.

“Spite says he thinks we should leave him,” he said after a moment.

She stopped trying to fit a rolled up pair of socks into her bag, and walked over to him instead.

“And you?” She asked, her arms closing around his neck. He pulled her closer, buried his face in her neck.

She’d never… she was still amazed at how safe she felt with him. It was stupid, and utterly nonsensical, but some animal instinct for danger that had been alert since she was a child simply… relaxed, when he held her, when she smelled his scent of coffee and leather and just a hint of spice from his cologne.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “Would you hate me, if I told him he could come?”

“Lucanis,” she said gently, “I could never hate you.”

He lifted his head, smiling softly.

“Never?”

“Never.”

“What if I ate your last piece of chocolate?”

She opened her mouth.

“Without asking.”

“I would fry your eyebrows off,” she said flatly, then, more softly, “And still love you.”

“Even with my eyebrows gone?”

She laughed.

“You’re trying to avoid making a decision,” she said.

“I know.”

He frowned at her.

“That was a lot easier to do before I met you.”

She kissed him on the nose.

“Happy to help, now, what do you think?”

“I don’t… want to talk to him,” Lucanis said, his head dropping onto her shoulder again. “I don’t want to forgive him, or be near him.”

He sighed.

“But I don’t want him to die.”

She smiled sadly. That was the problem, wasn’t it?

“He could stay here,” she said, rubbing a hand up and down his back. She knew it soothed him.

“Dorian could look after him. Or Neve. Or he could only go with us as far as Treviso, and then go to Rivain.”

“The Crows would find him,” he said. “Even in the Archon’s palace.”

He sighed again.

“The only way I can make sure he stays alive is if he comes with us.”

“Right,” she said. “Then that’s decided. You should go tell him. And you haven’t packed yet.”

“I’m an efficient packer,” he said, lifting his head so he could grin at her, his eyes twinkling. “Don’t worry.”

He kissed her softly.

“And he probably heard through the door. I’ll make sure he’s packed… after.”

“After?” She asked, grinning.

“After,” he said, kissing her again.

She really hoped Illario had stopped listening at the door.

***

Illario turned away from the door in disgust after another moment.

They’d known he would be listening, and part of him was sure Lucanis was doing it on purpose.

Another part knew that he was inconsequential to the two of them. Sure, Lucanis would probably be distraught if he were to die, or vanish, but if he still had his precious Rook?

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of thoughts like that. It had been those thoughts that had gotten him into this mess in the first place. Well, those thoughts and the fact that most of the Venatori were incompetent at best.

He grimaced, walking back through the mansion to the street. It was fitting, really, that his cousin was handed a grand room in the newly crowned Archon’s private home, while Illario had to make do with a room above one of the few taverns that had not been destroyed by the gods or the blight.

It was raining. It was always raining in this shithole. Why anyone would possibly want to live here was beyond him. His blue shirt was getting soaked through, and there wasn’t even anyone here to admire it.

He pushed away the uncomfortable thought that there never really had been. That the only person who had ever truly been there was Lucanis.

The only way I can make sure he stays alive is if he comes with us.

He hated that his cousin still thought he was incompetent. Hated that he had proved him right, not once, but twice. Hated the way Rook looked at him like he was a piece of shit on the bottom of her shoe, when Lucanis received looks like he had hung the stars and the moon, as if his cousin had never done anything wrong in his life. Had never treated Illario exactly the same way Caterina had treated him. Hated that he had had to ask them to go with them. To Orlais of all places. Mierda, he really was desperate.

Most of all, though, Illario hated himself as he trudged up the stairs to his rented room and packed up what he had brought with him to fight. Armour, daggers, sword, and one extra change of clothes. The rest he would have to get from Treviso before they left, and if he was going to Orlais, he would have to look respectable.

He looked in the mirror before he left the room, more out of habit than anything else, and realised there was nothing there he wanted to see.

Nothing there anyone wanted to see.

***

The plan was to take a boat from Treviso to Denerim, and then find a way to Orlais from there. It sounded easy enough, except for the fact that it meant having to say goodbye.

Not to everyone, of course. She could put off that goodbye for a few months yet, but enough that it was painful.

Because deep down, she knew, she wasn’t coming back to Minrathous, not really.

You’re not coming back, are you?

I… haven’t really thought about it.

But she had. She’d never been able to make a choice for herself. Since that day at eight years old when the templars had shown up at their door, everyone had decided for her. Even when she had come to Minrathous the first time, all those years ago, her choice had been here or the Circle.

For the first time in her life… Rook was free to choose her own path forward.

And as she looked over at Lucanis, depositing both their bags in front of the eluvian while they waited for the others, she knew what she was going to choose.

You don’t… have to come, you know. I’d understand if you want to stay in Treviso with Caterina.

I know you would. But I want to stay with you. Then we can come back to Treviso together.

Dorian stood off to the side with the Inquisitor and Commander Cullen, watching the waves hit the rocks below them. She should probably stop referring to him as ‘Commander’ now.

The hole in the wall of the safehouse hadn’t been fixed yet, but it would be. Neve would make sure of it.

“Your companions are joining us, yes?” Morrigan asked. “The vessel will not wait for us past noon.”

“As far as I’m aware,” Rook grinned at Morrigan. “It will take us ten seconds to cross from here to Treviso.”

Morrigan huffed, but folded her arms as they waited for the others. It had been her idea, the boat. With the Vi’Revas unable to connect to most of the eluvians in the South, this was the quickest way to get to Denerim.

“The vessel isn’t going to leave any earlier, either,” she said, imitating Morrigan’s cadence as she did, and the older woman stopped tapping her foot just long enough to shoot Rook a withering glance.

The first of her companions to arrive was Davrin, and Rook, despite her earlier confident words to Morrigan, breathed a small sigh of relief when he did. Assan chirped happily, and ran over to greet her and then Lucanis as Davrin deposited his bag next to theirs.

“You came,” she said, grinning at him when he came to stand with them.

“‘Course,” he grinned back. “We made a promise, remember?”

“I do.”

We’ll go together then, like a little holiday after saving the world. Find your family, see the Dales, see some wyverns…

Is that a promise, Grey Warden?

As much of one as I can make.

The others trickled in soon after. Taash, pack slung over one shoulder. Emmrich and Manfred, both carrying their own pack and staff. Neve, Elek, Rana and Bellara, none of whom were joining them, but who had come to say goodbye.

And lastly, Illario, dressed in a new shirt and waistcoat, blood red and black this time.

“What is he doing here?” Davrin asked, reaching for his sword. Assan had already crouched into his ready position, waiting to pounce. Even Emmrich was standing more at attention.

“Coming with you,” Illario said, flashing Davrin a grin. “I would not want you deprived of my excellent company.”

“Deprived of your- Rook, what is he doing here?”

“He is coming with us,” Lucanis said. “My cousin has managed to anger every single Crow in Thedas, and we thought it perhaps better if he left Antiva for a while.”

Davrin, reluctantly, let go of the pommel of his sword.

“Fine,” he said, scowling at Illario. “Just remember what happened last time we fought.”

“As far as I remember,” Illario’s grin only widened, “You dropped your sword on the floor at my feet.”

“Fuck you- “

“Girls!” Rook rolled her eyes and stepped between the two of them, holding up her hands. “Both of you are pretty. Can we please avoid fighting for the entirety of this trip?”

The two of them glared at each other from opposite sides of her, then nodded. Once.

The tension in the room lessened slightly, which she was glad of. Her head was starting to pound again, and if they didn’t get somewhere where she could sit down soon, she’d start getting dizzy. The last thing she wanted was to deal with the two of them squabbling.

Illario stalked off toward the eluvian, stopping to say something to Lucanis before vanishing through it.

She raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him, and he rolled his eyes in the mirror’s direction.

“He needs to get the rest of his clothes from the villa,” Lucanis said, sighing. “He’ll meet us at the docks.”

She couldn’t help but grin.

“Of course he does.”

Lucanis grinned back, and she realised it was time. Everyone was here, and there was no reason to delay any longer.

No reason… except…

She looked over at Neve and Bellara, who were already hugging Emmrich goodbye.

“Don’t look so sad, Rook,” Neve walked over when she noticed her glance. “It’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.”

She gave Neve a look, and the other mage smiled. It was a sad smile. Both of them knew there was no guarantee. Both of them had lost enough that goodbyes like this would always be hard.

Before she could stop herself, she’d pulled Neve into a hug. There was a surprised pause, and then Neve’s arms closed around her as well.

“Thanks, Rook,” she said softly, so only the two of them would hear. “For coming through for us.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Rook whispered back. She was too tired for this. Too drained and too hurt. Tears pricked at her eyes.

“You stuck,” Neve said, pulling back with a grin. “Not a lot of people do.”

“Docktown owes you one for getting those demons out, at least,” Elek said from behind Neve. “You ever need that villa in Treviso, you know who to ask.”

“I do,” she grinned at him. “Thanks, Elek.”

“And thanks, Rook,” Rana said. “For the hope.”

“There’s a lot we can do with that,” Neve said. “And a new Archon.”

“He’s very much in over his head,” Rook said, winking at her as she did. Neve’s brown eyes twinkled back.

“I’ll remember,” she said. And Rook knew that to mean she’d keep an eye, however distant.

“Goodbye, Neve,” she made herself say. “I’m glad you said you’d help Varric.”

“Me too, Rook. Me too.”

She turned towards Bellara, but before she was even properly facing her, the elf had already thrown her arms around Rook. It was all she could do to hug her back.

“I’m going to miss you,” Bellara said, tears in her voice.

“No,” Rook said, grinning. “You won’t. You’ll be too busy with the Nadas Dirthalen, and the elves, and the Crossroads and the artifacts and your book- “

Bellara pulled back slightly, and there were still black veins beneath her eyes. That was another thing Rook still had to fix, no matter what.

“I won’t,” Bellara said.

“I’ll miss you too, Bel,” she said. “Promise you’ll describe me as ‘beautiful’ in your book?”

Bellara sniffled, but managed a grin.

“I promise.”

She pulled away, knowing this goodbye would be the most difficult. Knowing she’d been putting it off since this morning.

She turned to Dorian Pavus, the new Archon of Tevinter, and saw he was crying.

***

Lucanis stood with Neve, Bellara and Emmrich as Rook said goodbye to Dorian, to the side of the room.

It would be hard, for both of them. But perhaps good, too.

“Oh,” Neve said from next to him. “I hate goodbyes.”

He smirked at her, and she scowled back.

“Don’t you dare look at me like that,” she said. “I know you’re just as bad.”

He was. He was trying not to show it, but this was difficult.

“We’ll see each other again,” he said soothingly.

“Maybe,” Neve sighed. “But we both know we love our jobs too much, Lucanis. All three of us."

That was true as well.

“It certainly won’t be the same again,” Emmrich said. “All of us living together, growing together…”

“I am just happy to get out of the damned Lighthouse,” he said. “Mierda, but the Fade was not my favourite.”

“Really?” Neve asked. “I quite liked it.”

They watched as Dorian drew Rook into a hug, resting his chin on her head.

“You’ll look after her, won’t you?” Neve asked him.

He scoffed.

“You should be telling her to look after me ,” he said.

“She’ll do that anyway,” Neve waved a hand. “You’re the one I’m nervous about.”

He smiled.

“I’ll look after her,” he said. “I’m not giving this up. Not for anything.”

“Good.”

Lucanis saw her eyes wander toward the tall templar, waiting with Elek at the side of the room. He didn’t say anything, but in his most romantic heart of hearts, he wished them all the happiness in the world.

***

“It’s funny, you know,” Dorian said as she walked up to him, wiping at his tear-streaked face. “I’ve said so many goodbyes in my life, but none of them have ever hurt quite like this one.”

“Don’t- “ she stopped, her voice thick. “You can’t get sentimental on me. Not now.”

“There has to be a first for everything, I suppose.”

He grinned at her, though it looked more like a grimace. She supposed the fact that both of them were exhausted did not help matters much.

“It’s been so many years,” he said, “Dreaming of everything getting better. Dreaming of making it right. And now… I finally can. It’s just that- well. Now that I’m here I- I feel like I’m in slightly over my head, and the one person who was there with me through all of it is leaving.”

She smiled. He was wrong, but he’d have to figure that out for himself, unfortunately.

“Small steps, Dorian,” she said softly.

He drew her into a hug, and she had to screw her eyes shut tightly when he rested his chin on top of her head.

“You’ll visit, won’t you?” He asked her. “Come for dinner? I’m sure the palace can do better than one Crow can manage…”

“Hmmm… dinner at the Archon’s palace? I’ll be there.”

“Good,” he said. “That makes this slightly better.”

There were many things to say. Thank you. I’ll miss you. Please, don’t get yourself killed without me there. You were the only family I had for eight years.

She didn’t say any of those things, however, and neither did he. They knew. You don’t spend eight years working and living together without knowing.

She pulled away after a moment, and he cupped her face in his hand.

“Let me know,” he said, trying for casual and failing miserably. “When you find your family.”

She nodded, and he stepped away. She was thankful he had done it first.

She turned toward the eluvian, toward Lucanis, Davrin, Taash and Emmrich, toward Treviso and the harbour, toward the start of the rest of her life.

Here is the link to my ao3 where I'll probably be posting the rest of the chapters if you want to read because this bad boy is going to be long, I'm guessing