#this is actually my ultimate life goal tho

[flo-zoinks]

do you think Dutch every truly cared about Arthur, John, oe any of the gang members? Or he only cared about how useful they were to him? How loyal they were to him?

I think he cared genuinely to an extent, especially when it came to Arthur, he just ultimately cared about himself more and his own ego. Just my take tho, it's a bit more complex than that but I really don't know how to word it :")

Good take!! Thanks for asking me ♡

In short (if possible), I think Dutch cared, but other factors were a lot more dominating than that love.

To Dutch, I believe his biggest goal in life was his image. Dutch's idea of a perfect person was someone who took in and protected the rejected and weak around him, who didn't follow and submit to the society around him, who longed for freedom and spoke wise words about not conforming. Whilst this idea of a perfect person might not be what everyone else thinks at all, it's what he does. Arthur and John fell into that image - the people someone perfect would protect and care for, and teach his own ways. So Dutch believed he cared for them, being that perfect person, and acted as someone who would. That's why I think he did things that looked like caring, (what he believed was), but when it came to things that werent obvious, or took too much work he deemed necessary, he allowed other factors to dominate that caring feature of a person to mentally ignore them whilst still feeling good about himself.

That's why I think he was so easily able not to save Arthur, his son, in chapter 6. A Father, or a Mother who truly loves their child as they should wouldn't give up that love so easily, as Dutch did. No matter the current issues, they would save their child, at the risk of their own life easily. Dutch allowed that judgement and voices to enter his head so quickly, and used it to allow himself to abandon his child, telling himself it fit the criteria of a perfect person as "they deserved that." It was easier to do that, then to have to make a decision that could possibly harm his own idea of himself.

Take for instance, Dutch's jailbreaks. If Arthur goes to jail for a prolonged time, theres a good chance Dutch will break him out in the game. However when Arthur gets kidnapped by the O'Driscolls, I dont think Dutch went to look for him past the jails and saloons. A caring person would search where he thought would fit, like those jails and saloons. Someone who loved further and actually cared like a Father would search and put in countless hours to retrieve their loved one, but once he'd finished feeling like a good person didn't care to look further.

So generally because I'm so close to going off topic lmfao, I think his belief that he cared manifested into a little actual care, however wasn't as big as he pretended. He saw them as assets, as parts that existed to him to help him feel good about himself, as tools. The people around him, Reverend, Molly and so on exist to stroke his ego and tell him he's a saviour, he's so smart and perfect. But when Arthur and John begin to openly doubt and judge him whilst Micah doesn't, he sees it easier to believe Micah's words and follows the route that reminds him hes perfect, meaning he doesnt need to care for Arthur and so on to feel good about himself. Their purpose doesn't work anymore, their used up and broken, so that care disappears.

That's also how I view the American Venom scene, when Dutch shoots Micah. At that point, Dutch sees the full maliciousness and "evil" in Micah's words, and realises his mind will never be able to twist things and his own views to justify their actions anymore. So to still feel well about himself, he shoots Micah. Besides, 'that's what a good person would do, right?' He still doesn't need John, still sees him as someone who will damage his self-image, so therefore not worth his attention and a traitor to him, but is perhaps a little less hostile to him. He's reminded a good person should still care for him, and Arthur, so treats it as his final act of 'love' he can perform. His final moment of 'caring'.

Am I yapping any sense ? Not really. Am I tired? Ya! But this is just my personal view! I agree with u fo sho so thanks for the ask!! I'm so grateful I love these so much. I'd also love to see other opinions or views on this❤❤🌟

[kravchikfreak]

i feel like sometimes people would come up with some cool headcanons and interpretations, but then they'll convince themselves that it's literally shown canon with no place for doubt and then they'll act as if everyone else is dumb for not consuming the media the way they do it

(i guess i'm guilty as well, but i'm allowed to cause i'm actually right all the time)

like the second season of arcane got tons of criticism for bad writing, and, naturally, there're people who would defend their favorite show just cause THEY interpreted it in a way that makes sense to the point that when i go to arcane criticism tag to see what problem other people have with the show i also see show's defenders who pissed not everyone sees it as they do

and um i mean it's fine, i get it, we are all the same, just in different camps, whatever. but i have a story. one time i had to do coursework and i barely touched it before the last night before deadline came. and i thought to myself "welp i really need to work on it now, i only have 8 hours left" and when i turned on my laptop and was about to open up the files the power went out in the entire building. and my laptop had a shit battery that worked for like 1,5 minutes without charging. so i thought it was kinda funny and called my mom and told her "see? the only time i decided to do something studying-related and this happens. universe must be trying to send me a sign" and my mom went like "yeah, a sign that you need to try harder! despite all the obstacles that might come to your way"

so, who out of us two doesn't have a sign literacy? is sign literacy dead? or was it just a shit unclear sign and its interpretation depends solely on the person who interprets it and their life experience, beliefs, mentality and so on?

anyway, if you think you feel the character and you can imagine their motives and goals that's cool i guess, but doesn't mean the show actually succeeded to state them in canon. if you can see just some random plot points without any actual on-screen transition between them and just understand what transitions was implied it's also really cool, but for me for example if i wanted to just have some guide points and use my imagination for the rest i'd just scroll through "imagine" tag on tumblr rather then watching an actual show that's supposed to tell the story, not key points of the story

and no, the show doesn't have to tell a viewer everything by words. but it still have to tell you everything, actually, just by all different kinds of storytelling. and leaving everything to viewers imagination isn't a storytelling. like yeah i guess i can come up with some character development that makes you go from pointing a gun at a child (when you already compromised your ability to sharpshoot) to very judgmental "why is peace always the justification for violence?" (right after you actually tell you aren't ready to withdraw your forces and half an hour early we have a cool montage of your forces being pretty violent already) but i feel like it's writers job, not mine

but hey, you do you anyway. who am i to care

in fact i actually feel you. i'll die on the hill of silco being a great dad and caring deeply about jinx. but tho we have in fact canon proof she mean the world to him (actual story actually telling us he chooses her over his ultimate goal) at the same time we don't really have a good explanation on his whole beef with vi. yeah, i still can make my headcanons about his insecurity and fear of losing jinx after she tells her something about something, but it still sounds weak and not really explained in the show. also not a great writing

okay i'm officially lost in my thoughts, gotta wrap it up somehow. let's end on the point that some of interpretations the show leaves you with this season don't make much sense and in other cases it doesn't even give you any material to interpret but straight up leaves you with the responsibility of come up with events and development of the story and characters. and while a viewer might be good at this or even enjoy it, it's still very bad writting actually

peace

[thistransient]

Halfway through July, and I have neglected to write my yearly birthday introspection, although it did occur to me that between my birthday and the new year I was in fact doing two introspections a year anyways.

For certain reasons I've been waffling about it, but it's also quite nice to be able to look back and compare with the previous year, to see what's changed (sometimes unexpectedly) and what's still the same. Last year I mentioned I "made a close friend [...] and disentangled myself from a draining relationship", but in the end I had been drawn to said friend because he was the polar opposite of the person I was disentangling myself from, and while a different extreme might have been refreshing in the moment, that too was unsustainable in the long run. I think what finally dragged me out of the cycle of too-clingy/too-distant nebulous just-friends-but-what-if sort of relationships was twofold: I started going to counselling with a goal (not the usual "I feel like I'm having a breakdown so I'll see a therapist for 3-6 months before ditching"), and also got into a communal hobby such that I was able to make casual friends and attend regular and diverse events with a time limit (rather than laser focusing on one person and relying on them for all my socialising).

A year ago I said I was feeling adrift, goal-less, and filled with the sort of summer malaise inspired by the scorching Taipei weather this time of year. Unfortunately we are still rather scorched. The temperature and UV levels somewhat put a damper on my usual practice of walking around outside looking at things. On the positive side, I did struggle through the adrift-ness and applied for one (1) grad school program over the winter, which I didn't get into but I did learn that I feel better when I'm working on something, and I was also motivated to finally take Taiwan's Chinese proficiency exam to open up my options for the sort of programs I could try for in the future (I passed a level higher than I expected to, and it was great to feel acknowledgment of my competence at something I'd really put long-term effort into). After the grad school rejection I started planning the trip to Ladakh, which allllmost felt like it involved a similar level of paperwork and fuss- and actually pulling that off in the end (ok, even tho this was after my birthday) despite all my fears and anxiety (particularly around travelling post-transition) was also a great confidence boost. (For a week after I also had this frantic urge to drastically change my life, and I can't tell if it wore off with time or if the heat simply drained out all ambition beyond staying out of the sun and sitting in front of the fan eating cold dragonfruits.)

I have at least two proper goals now, and although one may require starting over entirely from an educational standpoint, as they say, "the time will pass anyways". On my bike rides at night I do tend to start pondering what shall become of me, creeping along in the years but being no closer to permanent or even temporary residency status than any other time I write about it either wistfully or with well-intentioned but otherwise ultimately futile determination, nor feeling like I am useful for any sort of capitalist pursuits. (I suppose this is the part of reflection wherein things have stayed the same, and we must stay tuned for next year.) But I also believe I have made some progress in deflating a little the omnipresent catholic guilt at simply existing, not to mention the adjacent notion that enjoying life a bit and not being maximally miserable at all times is a SIN. By this I mean I have gone twice now to a nice hair salon to let a beautiful woman shampoo, condition, and also give me a haircut that doesn't bear a strong resemblance to a bichon-frise immediately after.

All in all, I would say the verdict is incremental improvement. (Okay maybe I'm also racking up incremental nerve damage from all the shibari but you win some you lose some.) My housing/employment/visa-running status hasn't changed dramatically but I feel more hopeful and kinder with myself. I think my Chinese reading speed has kicked up a notch. I've managed to keep the instant noodle consumption under control. I've sent a lot of postcards on my quarterly trips, which are generally well-received. I have taken great delight in growing many plants in the window cage (whether they survive is another thing, RIP to the tomato plants while I was away, bravo to the basil that miraculously rehydrated from what seemed to be a completely unsalvageable state, sorry to the lemon tree sprout that was apparently doing fine on its own before I came back and over-watered it to death). Things feel kinda okay, and I used to be quite suspicious of this because surely they were only going to get worse again, but these days I figure hey, even so, might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

[alevolpe]

How do you feel about Usagi becoming Neo Queen Serenity? Do you like it or do you think it would be better if she didn`t? Do you think she would be a good ruler?

Crystal Tokyo is not my “happily ever after” ending and it’s not my go to for sure. I feel like it can work, but it has to be in the right circumstances. First of all, it’s not a “good ending” and I would not try to frame it a s such.

The ideal “good ending” in my mind is the girls being free from their burden of being senshi, but in my AU, that’s not really possible without a “hard reset” to say. It’s loosely based on a hc I’ve talked about briefly here, but the girls don’t get to just choose to stop transforming and live regular lives. The ultimate goal of the sailor crystals is to have their hosts live as senshi and actually use the powers that form provides, if they choose to live as humans, then what is the point.

Crystal Tokyo can work in the context of “destiny is inevitable, but let’s try to do the best with what we have”. It’s a bitter sweet ending, but again, I feel like it could work.

Here’s my conditions:

Crystal Tokyo is NOT the capital of the world! That is just ridiculous and that’s where I kind of draw the line tbh. Doesn’t matter how omniscient Serenity is, she cannot govern the whole world without it being a genuinely and utter disturbing reality to the level of ‘I have no mouth and I must scream’. CT is a city-state, much like the Vatican is. It has minor influences in politics and the area around them, but for the most part they kind of just stand as an independent city-state and do their own thing.

As stated prior, it’s not a “happy ending” and it would never be framed as such. The future is a terrifying perspective and if everything around them is pushing them to think that CT is the one and only safe option for them then they’ll take it.

No one is “immortal” or has extended lifespans. Usagi and the senshi do, but that comes with the “perks” of being a senshi, it’s not a gift given by the Silver Crystal. (Sorry Mamo..)

Usagi will eventually loose herself in the Silver Crystal and the role of Neo Queen Serenity. It’s something she feels coming and knows will be an inevitability, almost like her mother before her, so she makes sure to evenly split her power among her 4 guardians to ensure a “checks and balances system”. They keep each other sane and the future safe from repeating hard mistakes of the past.

Haruka and Michiru are NOT a part of CT. They refuse and instead opt to live a normal life (due to some hcs revolving them and Pluto, they have the choice to live as regular people, unlike the inners). Usagi has granted them and the others a choice, there’s no animosity between them and Usagi, not so much among the inners toward them tho, to varying degrees. Hotaru gets taken in and adopted by the inners instead, since she doesn’t have a choice about becoming a senshi.

The public opinion toward Crystal Tokyo is not all positive. Doesn’t matter how much love and work the senshi put into their image, decisions and rulings, the public will never be cool with what are basically non-humans to them installing an empire within their planet. Conspiracy theories and attempts at revolutions are rampant among CT, that is why is very rare for the senshi and even less the Queen to leave the Palace.

I do feel like Usagi would try her absolute best at being a great and benevolent leader, but unfortunately the world doesn’t work like that. Most everyone starts with good intentions, but failed diplomatic attempt, after failed diplomatic attempt after attempted assassination, the girls’ heart and will turns ever so bitter and cynical, not Usagi tho, til her last moment of consciousness she strives to remain the best person she could be, she’s just aware she can’t openly be so anymore or she’ll risk her own life. Choosing to live her later life mostly in the quiet of the palace, the senshi being her voice that will be heard to the outside.

There’s a certain feel of ‘doomed destiny’ with CT, this is them accepting that the “moon monarchy’’ is inevitable and is meant to happen. It’s basically a defeat on their part, they lose their individuality and dreams for the future and surrender to this cycle that was meant to be all along.

All the girls have grown out of the more cheerful and optimistic selves, having witnessed the inescapable reality of their own destiny and have been hardened by the crueler aspects of humanity. It’s a bit of a bummer, but it’s not all the “everything is terrible ending”. The girls still have each other, they are still themselves, even if hardened by their surroundings. They still love each other and they basically live for each other at this point, aspects of each other leaving permanent stains that remind themselves of the goods of the world and what they are striving to achieve. There’s still good in the world, it’s just sometimes harder to find.

[cloudcryptid]

Long cotl thought rant

so, my idea of the lamb and narinder's relationship is that, in general, whether you choose to spare or kill him at the end, the lamb loves narinder

not in a romantic partner way, just in that weird kinda devotional love way

cause i mean, this god, that resurrected you, gave you a 2nd chance and real agency and freedom for the first time in your fear-riddled life (more on that later), of course you're gonna love him in some form

it's messy as fuck, but it's there

but diverging from that, narinder has been imprisoned for eons (this is something we can infer) and the slaughter of lambs began after that happened

also, given how long things like mass genocide actually take, we can safely say that the lamb is possibly not even born till eons after

however, sheep are not new, they weren't something that just popped up after narinder's imprisonment cause of the prophecy

meaning that sheep have been just as wide spread and integrated into the old faith as much as any other species

what that leads to, is essentially, years and years of culture and tradition that exist within sheep from the old faith and bishops that get passed down to the lamb

that thing where you have all these little rituals and habits you do throughout life that you don't even know where it actually comes from or why you do it

lost culture or at least the loss of why, the importance

all this to say that the lamb inevitably comes from one of the bishop's faith, not directly, but passed down through generations

so like, what is the lamb like depending on the bishop? what habits do they have that tie back into their "original" bishop? just a little too chaotic and not quite as efficient from leshy? cannibalism and violence from heket? what would they inevitably lean into because of how they were raised

(and obviously, being at the exact end of a genocide, you might not have much culture you were taught other than fear, but ya know

people are hopeful and try to preserve and pass down as much as they can always)

there's rituals and doctrines that can be attributed to all 4 of them

and narinder, being the domain of death, reaches into each of their domains regardless so it's not like it'd be weird or out of narinder's realm (obviously he has his preferences on how you should run the cult, but ultimately let's you handle things as long as you accomplish your goal, tho that might just be for a more gameplay standpoint than anything)

and the way you get raised will inevitably effect how you'd rule/raise other people, and the lamb just wouldn't be fully aware of why they lean towards these specific tendencies

however, on the flip side, if lamb does know what bishop they technically came from, it technically leads to a, much messier, version of what's going on with narinder

the bishops' faith is already run on fear, the threat of death is not at all uncommon, so it's quite possible for the lamb to come out with some form of devotional love on that end too

but it's fucked

cause they kill you, you're resurrected, you're sent to go kill them

and then the most fucked up part, you do

you kill your former god

you kill what demolished everything you ever knew and loved

and that fucks you up

you hate them, you love them, you killed them, it's cathartic, it's painful, it's infuriating, you're in agony

they were killable this whole time

that'll do things to your brain

and then it gets worse, regardless of what you do with narinder in the end, cause then there's post game

where you go through purgatory

you face this bishop again

you kill them

again

but it's different this time

now they're in your cult

they're mortal

regardless of how the lamb handles it, that's fucked

the lamb is not an ok person at the end of all this

so anyway, lamb dating the bishops, possibly poly relationship, thoughts?

and beneath everything that has happened

there is still that devotional love

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi there! I've been following your comics for a while and they're very educational imo ^_^ it's helped give me thoughts about aro/ace concepts....

Um, I wanted to ask about how you and your partner handle your long distance (QPR) relationship? I know you two are from two countries that are pretty separate. That must get tough sometimes--I know many people find it hard. How do you two stay connected and easily very close without getting lonely or "out of it"? Do you think it'd apply to romantic ones too?

-- the crunchy fish stick! (yum, but don't eat me pls lol also yes I put that there in case I wanna follow up on this)

Hey crunchy fish stick!^^ And sorry for the late reply TwT

I've already answered a similar question like this before so I'll link it here in case it provides some insights, but to give the jist of it :

Maybe it being platonic and sexless might be helping our case (I have no idea how much people who like sex and romance actually miss physically being with the person) but whether it does or not, I think that those things always depend on everyone's individual personalities, experiences and what they want in life. Due to my past experiences I've grown up biased towards the thought that close = scary and far away = good, sincere and trustworthy, so it probably doesn't affect me as much as other people. That and the fact that I could also NOT be in a QPR at the moment and be perfectly fine. When it happened to me, I didn't miss it before it happened. It was just all nice good luck all around and I'm extra happy now that it's there, but it's a bonus in my life, not a requirement.

That said, we also have a fairly strict-ish routine we commit to to keep each other posted, and we'd visit each other every year whenever we could, which also helps a whole bunch. And we get the comfort that the other exists out of it, no matter where we are. And we get words out of it, we get connection out of it. Just because we're not physically together doesn't mean we can't connect and communicate at this day and age, heck, that's how we got to KNOW each other to begin with.

And all of that said tho, the early 2020-late 2021 travel ban that made it extremely hard an expensive for me to visit them (because I had to spend 2 weeks in another country before I even could) was one of the biggest hardships in my life; and when we're not together physically we miss not being able to hug or hold hands or no; and ultimately, y'know, knock on wood, we won't be long-distance for that much longer since we're in the process of trying to get me a fiance visa so I can go marry them. So that's another thing. Having that goal helps us hold on because we know if everything goes well, it won't be a permanent thing.

[maryasmorevna]

Ship game you said? Eh eh. Let's go: ere//mika (or the ultimate meta on way you have so many problem with the pairing) and,to compensate the bitter with the sweeter:riva/mika. I'm particularly curious about this one because since there was the "levi ackermann" reveal almost nobody talk about their dynamic because "yikes,they could be cousin!11!1"

OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY i left this ask to rot in my box and then forgot all about it I'M SO SORRY fellow salernitana i hope you can forgive me 😭😭😭😭😭

so... starting with why i don't ship e.remika (a serious understatement): it's a horrid potpourri of the tropes i most loathe in the world and that unfortunately seem prevalent in the shonen genre for. some reason i guess. my dislike of ~Girl Obsesses Over Boy (who doesn't care and/or seem to notice her feelings i may add) Until Boy *gasps* Loves Her Back (with no build-up whatsoever. it's all telling and not showing)~ knows no bound. (see also i.chihime from bleach) it's especially annoying to me if the girl has. no fucking goals or aspirations (and sometimes even IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIPS) that don't revolve around the boy, which is mikasa's case. to sum it all up... this dependency is okay (in fiction, i mean!) only if it comes from both sides. think of cathy & heathcliff (e.remika is like. the fucking discount badly written version of WH): both can't function without the other in an exquisitely destructive portrayal of obsession and codependency that borders on narcissism. so that's not healthy at all, like mikasa's love for eren, which is something that i'm not saying as a hater but that gets explicitly acknowledged in-universe with the intentional parallels with ymir the progenitor's '''love''' for king fritz (tho they make a pairing like, idk, joker/harley look like cutesy vanilla relationship goals, and em as straight up austenian romance lmao).

but, back to WH... it's SO well-written. mikasa instead is sadly dependent on eren to the point her entire character arc is about getting over him and moving on with her grief. that's insane, considering he - as the (male!) protagonist - obviously loves her, but he's got so much else to do, has actual goals which are the basis for the whole plot, and interesting, complex relationships with so many other characters. [yes, i said that he loves mikasa, tho i don't buy that he wanted to live with her in la Casetta In Canadà and forget the world because that's SO not eren; that's mikasa's dream, and it's shown as illusory wishful thinking for a reason. but while i think his romantic feelings were portrayed so badly it's kinda laughable ngl, it's always been obvious that he deeply cares for her. she and armin are the most important persons in his life, and idw to imply differently.] mikasa comes VERY close to have her own arc, independently from eren, but her character development seems to round in circles again. and again. and again. letting eren go - which is something that stems from the trauma-imprinting she had on him; she never elaborated her parents' death, and losing him too would mean losing them, feeling that pain, all over again - is something she's shown to do in the early episodes of s1, before eren even turns into a titan. but then we see her choose him over all else again, and then realizes that there are other important things and persons too (that time levi injured himself to save her because she was too focused on getting to her boy, remember?). and then the cycle repeats all over again to peak in the (admittedly tragic but extremely predictable) finale, where he's destroying the fucking world, almost killing her and all their friends, and she still hesitates over taking a fucking stand. she fights against the founder titan, yes, but she never openly condemns eren's actions, she never stands up to him like armin does. mikasa is shown as a strong, sometimes even defiant person to everyone else but eren (see how she gets with levi; especially in the manga, she contradicts him A Lot and doesn't give a shit about his scary reputation - her own is nearly as fearsome after all); she's very passive with him in a way that doesn't suit her. of course she loves eren, but armin loves him too and he fights back and doesn't take any of eren's shit when he insults them both, while mikasa just... stands there crying prettily, i guess. which brings me to the elephant in the room: it's armin who's actually the biggest influence on eren (the latter himself says it was armin showing him the book about the outside world that made him realise he wasn't free, just to list one example); it's to save him who eren sacrifices himself for, which then prompts his first transformation into the attack titan. they're narrative foils (tho the same could be said about him and reiner and to a lesser extent gabi), complementary opposites. he's so physically affectionate towards armin, especially if contrasted with his colder behaviour towards poor mikasa - okay, he's a bit of a tsundere, but one thing is saying that he represses his feelings actually, and another is showing it!

i know all about characters repressing and outright denying they feel something for their LI, believe me; i love emotionally stunted idiots who can't emote for shit (maybe because i am so emotional and feel things too deeply, i'm drawn to my opposite). but @ yams....... please...... have mercy on me, because that's Now How You Do It, and whoever says otherwise is delusional. if a female character from anything but a shonen/bordering on seinen anime got this kind of characterization there would be so much discourse, so many polarizing opinions, so much hate for the author. i'm not saying western media don't have a sexism problem - quite the contrary!! - but mikasa is. an especially bad case? i haven't seen one so bad in a long ass while, maybe because i'm used to consume media with (generally speaking) well-written female characters. like, c'mon. imagine if mikasa had been the female protagonist of a fantasy book series, or a tv show... oh god. and no, sorry but having her kick ass right and left doesn't make her a Strong Female Character actually. Feminism 101 is founded on women having a life outside their relationship with men, and. mikasa doesn't? not really? at least compared to other female characters in the series. yams made a half-decent job with them (tho giving that backstory to ymir the progenitor was. certainly A Choice, as it was sidelining historia and annie for so many chapters), which makes mikasa's static, repetitive, stale character arc really, really sad, because my girl had so much potential. i mean, even em as a pairing had so much potential! childhood friends turned to enemies, like, hello?? imagine if mikasa had got armin's complexity and relevance and a fucking life outside of eren, for god's sake. imagine if she loved him, really, but she repressed her feelings and wasn't so heavily dependent on him (or they both were. from the beginning), and still stood up to him and called him out on his bullshit without erasing her hidden vulnerability and fragility. imagine if their relationship was between equals and-- ah, imagine her getting a character development a la casca (without all the horrifying shit she endures and the 200 chapters long catatonia and sexualisation, tho, tyvm!!!), since isayama himself said she was the blueprint for mikasa - in general he was heavily inspired by berserk - and it shows because they're basically twins separate at birth *insert spiderman meme*. i mean, yams even said that the scene where eren saves mikasa from the slave traders was based on griffith rescuing casca and her imprinting on him instantly, and god does it show.

........... but then em would just be het e.remin, so. whatever. there's also mikasa's need to grow the fuck up, and for that she needs to see that her wishful thinking, her beliefs about ~Eren Loves Me So Much, He Can't Live Without Me!! even when he gives her the cold shoulder so many times, are wrong. that's how you write a character growing into adulthood: you challenge them, you show that the world is founded on a very different basis than what they believed. (see lucy from fallout - she's an adult but she's in a metaphorical infancy before getting out of her vault and a coming-of-age arc throughout much of the series.) if you reinforce mikasa's beliefs... she just remains static. which brings me to...

r.ivamika: oh, i adore them. they had so much potential in many different ways... unfortunately it's very, very obvious how much yams doesn't give a shit about the ackermans. first thing first: it's not incest. they're not cousins. it's explicitly stated that they're only very distantly related, and well, it's glaring how much they don't consider each other "family" or whatever. they're descendants of the same ancient clan, that's all. (actually, mikasa is eren's foster sister and she says he's her family more than once. but that's something em shippers generally seem to gloss over. not that i think em is incest either, it's not. maybe a very lite version of pseudo-incest like the abovementioned WH, but nothing more.) tbh i always thought of them being "related" a la darkling and mal from the greggrisha trilogy. technically they are but (stealing my brother's words of wisdom about the whole rm insane discourse) "it isn't gross" because it's been too fucking long for a relationship between them to be incestous. i mean, guys... words have meaning. you can dislike it but after many generations (500 years for the darkling and mal) they're really not more than nominally related at best. after six gens the shared blood is 0.01%, let alone... whatever the fuck levi and mikasa are. i mean, this obsession the fandom has with them as ~cousins is ridiculous - okay for a headcanon, obviously, but they're very much not framed like that in-universe. like, they have a professional relationship between a soldier and her superior, between comrades in arms. she loathes him until she doesn't; she thinks he's (and i quote) a "sadistic freak" until she doesn't, and she starts to feel respect for him and even *gasp* CARE FOR HIS WELL-BEING lmao???? but nope, she doesn't think of him as a family member. yams could have easily gone that way with them, but he didn't. it's nice to think about mikasa finally finding a belonging, especially with all her grief and family-issues (see, again, her obsession with eren, as stated above)... but that's exactly the reason why i like levi as a romantic option for her.

i'll explain why: they have this Pride&Prejudice vibes+mentor/protégée+veteran/talented newcomer+recognition through the other (derogatory) thing going on that i find very interesting. someone once said levi is basically a more evolved and mature version of mikasa, and i agree. but they're also very different, in a way that would both complement the other and challenge them. levi has an almost opposite way of dealing with grief compared to mikasa: she fiercely clings to few close people and does everything in her power to stop them from fading away from her; he has a long history with losing people too, and that's what makes him keep everyone at a distance (and fail spectacularly at it but that's another matter). he's already resigned to letting them go (see how he deals with erwin and hange's deaths, for example) and making hard choices in a merciless, impossible situation. you can't suffer if you don't grow attached to people in a world and a profession where death is an everyday occurrence, right...? right?????? except that he cares and mourns too, of course. he just represses it all, and he's very efficient at it. now, since mikasa's main issue is that she can't let go (especially of eren)... you can see how they both can teach something to each other and grow together. they're very similar personality-wise: both stoic, strong, loyal, excellent fighters, with a cold façade and a (more or less hidden) heart of gold beyond all that ice. they're both the strongest in the world; she's the only one who can keep up with him on the battlefield, the only one who can challenge him (and vice versa). he respects her almost from the very start; she despises him so hard that it blinds her in some occasions, but grows from hating his guts for kicking the shit out of eren to asking his help to kill eren. obviously they're the only ones with their special powers, being the last ackermans and all that. they could really understand each other on a deep level... if only isayama had made them interact!!!!! which he didn't. I MEAN. searching for their clan's roots, bonding over how unique and, for this very same reason, lonely they are? ["there are no others like us, and there never will be" *cough cough*] nope. let's make them never address the elephant in the room!! tbh they could have been descendants of different clans with similar powers and biology, and nothing about their relationship would have changed lmao. like, this girl has serious family-related issues; that's one of the reasons she fixates on eren. why doesn't she go to levi and, idk, ask him about something, anything? that's such a glaring flaw - not a plot hole but a... characterization hole, if you will - i seriously can't even fathom it. all this Carramba Che Sorpresa shit, all this fucking insanity over the poor harmless rm shippers... for that? (with that being: nothing. the void. nietzsche's abyss, maybe.) 😭😭😭😭😭😭 also, there's this persistent headcanon in the fandom that levi would inquire about the ackerlore, but... this only shows how shallow some fans' reading of the characters is. levi WOULD NEVER. levi is afraid of committing himself to someone, to feel so deeply he can't recover from a loss, to have distractions from his long-time goal, and this includes family business. (isayama actually explicitly said it in an interview!) it's mikasa who's so hungry for belonging... and making her curious about their shared heritage, having some kind of bond with levi (even a strictly platonic one), would have helped her step out of eren's shadow. like, a lot. and of course that didn't happen... whatever. 

tl;dr: i love them and i've written about them more than any other pairing so far, which is ridiculous (2 long fics, one of which is sadly unfinished, and a shorter one). I'm not fixated on aot anymore these days - the toxicity in the fandom and my displeasure with some of the manga's storylines were curbing my enthusiasm - but they'll always have a special place in my heart. gotta love a semi-rareship with such a potentially juicy, complex dynamic. 

(e naturalmente se vuoi Passare Al Lato Oscuro e see what all the fuss is about posso linkarti un paio di fic scritte molto bene, oppure umilmente farti leggere le mie, che sono in italiano)

thank you so much for the ask and, again, SORRY for not replying for so. fucking. long ughhhhhhh ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

This actually ties into the question I asked about The Lich being in other universes as a disembodied hand. Only this time it centers around Star’s universe, since I only see her show taking place in another universe different from the Calamity Trio’s, Pine Twins, and Hex Squad.

What exactly do you think The Lich would be able do in Star and Marco’s universe?

Personally I think he would somehow bring back the Realm of Magic like Star did when she “Dipped Down” after Toffee had destroyed it, but instead he would corrupt the realm to his own benefit. To top it off, I could see him manipulating Mina Loveberry into helping him build up forces, saying he would restore her power and “help her” kill all monsters on Earthni in return. When in reality he just wants to wipe out everyone period. Monsters, humans, mewmans, and all creatures alike. And seeing as how the Realm of Magic is technically a giant gateway to other worlds and bringing back the realm he also brings back the Magical High Commission, he could open up some kind of link to all his variants scattered across the multiverse and guide them towards some “ultimate goal” of his.

(Which is kinda why I added on that part from my previous Lich question of him being in the shadows across Amphibia, the Boiling Isles, and Earth.)

It’s been awhile since I’ve watched Adventure Time but Idr the Lich manipulating folks, either destroying them or possessing them. Which would make him possess Mina in this scenario as they then work to remake and control magic to then use it to destroy all life with a powerful death spell (likely from Eclipsa’s section of the book). Not sure what else to suggest or think through about it tho’ atm

[momentomori24]

Okie, I just finished the show. Maybe a hot take, but I thought it was solid. The ending being good is debatable (I definitely wanted more than what we got) but the characterization of everyone was absolutely solid. Nine was a fantastic antagonist. He's intelligent, troubled, selfish, clingy, lonely and self destructive, just as much of a danger to others as he is to himself, but very much sympathetic and understandable of a character. He feels like such a younger version of Shadow who is still so angry at the world, willing to tear them all to pieces to achieve his goals because they've never ones shown him kindness at any point in his life, leaving him with no kindness to give to others as a consequence. But he has a love for technology, self esteem issues, remorseless sass and a genuine attachment to Sonic, however dysfunctional it was. He's fundamentally Tails, but so warped and jaded that he feels like a refreshingly new character. Same goes for everyone else. No version of each character felt the same. Their personalities all felt unique to them and their character growth felt rewarding. And I have very unexpected attachment to Black Rose. I love every Rose here, but she out of them all felt so much like the old Amy with her unfiltered insanity, chaotic energy, readiness for violence and disrespect, overwhelming passion and leadership and compassion for those who look to her for strength that I utterly adore her. And she's a PIRATE for God's sake! Let her be free! Let her go wild! Let her go absolutely batshit and unhinged the way only Amy can!

Prime Shadow is absolutely one of the best versions (and my personal favourite) of Shadow we have-- his voice acting, his personality perfectly hitting the middle between being too cold and being too caring, not too edgy but not too soft, still a snobbish and harsh motherfucker who preferably acts alone and sucks at getting his point across without sounding callous but ultimately well-intentioned and trying his best to protect the people and world he cares for while not being prideful enough to reject the help of others to achieve that (and actually willing to run when he knows he can't win for now.) Something I missed about Shadow was his empathy and care for others while acting like he doesn't mean anything, and it really shined during his time with Sonic. He was pissed to hell about what Sonic did, and rightfully so, but he knows when his anger contributes nothing of worth to their situation and is able to stay rational and logical for both their sakes. And even in his anger, Sonic's remorse about everything was enough for him to calm down, taking a softer approach with him than he normally would've. He's--UGH. HE'S SO GOOD. I LOVE SO HIM MUCH. Like, I really like IDW Shadow, but Prime Shadow is just built different.

I really appreciate what the show did with all of them and even tho I would've liked a bit more for the finale I do like how Sonic's arc came full circle with him learning to listen and be more appreciative of his friends. While there were definitely some glaring issues with s3, and there are some things where I'm like ''WHY??'' (more on that later), but the story was great, the characterisation was incredible, the animation felt very bouncy and energetic, and overall it was a very fun show and exciting journey I loved every step of the way. Not just the show, but all the incredible fan works that was made along the way are absolutely priceless. I'm really glad this show was made.

[bluelolblue]

Hellooooo ask time!

are you impulsive?

would you ever want to get married?

what is your main goal in life?

HIIIIIII thank you so muchhh <33

Are you impulsive?

I think yes. Yeah. Sometimes very much, that's why I'm tweaking so much 💀 I can act on a sudden feeling, desire, or without thinking, but I'm actually trying to get that under control. But sometimes it's still difficult. So yeah 😭

Would you ever want to get married?

Oh this is the ✨️ Ultimate Blue Question ✨️ when I was a kid, I used to tell ppl who asked me that as a joke, that I don't want to get married. Like, idk why that idea was just not for me. And honestly I'm still thinking about it and now when I'm older, I think I figured out why I feel like that.

1) Because I don't want a child. A lot of couples have babies when married (or before marriage) and that's NOT for me for many reasons. Family life, I think, is not for me, I'm not like that. I want to have freedom, I don't think I can take care of a baby anyway, not to mention the whole pregnancy ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. I'm not mentally or physically stable for that due to issues with me 💀 and I just simply don't want to. It's too much.

2) I'm very scared of getting hurt. Hurt in anyway, mentally or physically cuz a lot of people show their true form once married and... I'm scared that I'm very unlucky and that I'd made a wrong decision that will destroy my life. I witnessed that and... I don't want to go through the same thing. I think it could happen to me, too.

3) I was never in love and idk how to act in a relationship since I never was in one, and the thought of spending my whole life with someone like that... scares me 💀

4) "Honey, I'm home!" And he's on the sofa drowning with beer.

BUT WHAT IF I'M LUCKY?

1) I would (probably) want to get married if the guy treats me right, respects me and listens to me ✨️

2) He would HAVE TO respect that I don't want a kid.

3) He has to love animals, specifically cats and dogs. We can have fur babies tho (pets).

4) He is a rich hot Italian (named Santino D'Antonio) 👀

So, I yapped a lot. In short. I'm not that sure. 50/50 probably leaning more to NO bc I want my freedom.

What is your main goal in life?

OH MYYYY HMM? I want to accomplish things in life that I would be proud of. I want some of my ideas to work out, I wanted to have my own business... I wanted... to write a book or make a comic or even animated series. And all that was for Beast of Burden but... that's only my dream. I want to also help people and animals (if I can). But I really want to accomplish things and be my own boss, I don't want people to yell at me when they feel like it.

Ask game

[rwbypro]

I DEMAND MORE OF YOUR AU PLEASE INFODUMP :3

Right so in this au the first ending Frisk got was the king papyrus ending, Frisk at the time had 1 goal, get out and get back to Maki, and they killed quite a few monsters in the process some accidental some not.

Frisk beat omega Flowey, left the underground by themselves and made it back to the orphanage. Once there they asked about Maki only for it to be revealed that she had 'died'.

This destroyed Frisk, they didn't really know how to handle it. Then after a couple weeks of just existing they noticed a voicemail on their phone, to was Papyrus.

After listening guilt hit Frisk like a truck, they killed so many people and for what, for someone who was already dead, and in the process hurt the only other people who cared about them. But Frisk realized they could set it right, with renewed determination they reawoke on the flowers.

----

Frisk realized they were nonbinary while in the underground, they didn't realize that it was even a thing before hand. The name Frisk was also one they came up with while down there.

----

Chara will never admit it outloud but the fact that they were only remembered as Asriel's human friend and their name is never mentioned stings, ike they were never actually a part of the family, but they suppose this is fair because it was their plan that killed both of them.

----

After reuniting Maki tried to push Frisk away for a few reasons:

She wasn't sure Frisk was actually their friend from back then cause as far as Maki was aware they died.

Once she realizes Frisk is who they said they were she was worried what the Holy Salvation Society might do to Frisk if they realized Maki cared about them.

Maki felt like she doesn't deserve to be able to know Frisk, due to her being the ultimate assassin and Frisk being the ultimate pacifist. She feels like Frisk would be better off not associating with her.

But don't worry Frisk doesn't give up easily, even if they have to bribe Maki with rice blocks lol.

On another note Maki pushing Frisk away is the main reason Chara dislikes Maki, because Chara saw first hand how much Maki's death effected Frisk. Maki being an assassin only added to that, because now she is potentially a threat to Frisk and their family (In Charas eyes anyway). This feeling starts to fade when they both overhear the conversation Maki has with Shuichi and Kaito about her past.

----

Frisk learned to make monster candy over the years and keeps some on them in their bag, to heal any small cuts, scrapes, or bruises.

----

One idea I have for an interaction is Tsurugi and Frisk talk about anime, Tsurugi mentions an anime she liked about a character who believes in the best in others and how the anime ends in tragedy due to the protag trusting the wrong person, and how Frisk reminds her of the protag and that they should be careful.

Frisk: Maki wouldn't hurt me tho.

Tsumugi: I wasn't talking about Maki, but that's just my plain opinion you don't need to listen to me.

----

Frisk doesn't really understand the ultimate pacifist title, because like even ignoring the fact that they've killed, what makes someone worthy of being called the ultimate pacifist, tons of people go their whole life without killing after all. It's not even like Frisk hates fighting or anything, infact they find sparring to be A lot of fun. Ultimately though they are okay with the title cause atleast they can make a cool pun out of it (Much to Charas dismay).

----

I also have some ideas and plans for chapter 5 but that's a whole other thing lol, also I am currently playing with the idea that the red soul trait means love.

[wannaeatramyeon]

The unhinged! Reader basically made me think, that the next time she met any three of them, she will definitely just straight up f them like a beast in heat (most probably Gun since he didn't disappoint her and his bloodline would be good to her family) (Reader's family clan is large as they look for fresh bloodline that are strong or smart to continue their line)

Some context: Unhinged F!Reader: Gun Park | Goo Kim | Samuel Seo | Samuel Seo Part 2 | James Lee/DG | Jinyoung Park | Eli Jang | Tom Lee | Ryuhei Kuroda

Unhinged!Reader is such a blank slate, that honestly I think anything goes. This has got me thinking for some HC though...

There's a LOT of power play here, she gets off on the idea that she can crush any of them like ants

And whew the sexual undertones are apparent af but she gets enough of her kicks from breaking them so the actual fucking she can take it or leave it lol

A bit like Gun then, in that regard

Her body is a tool. So if sleeping with anyone gets her closer to a goal, then that doesn't conflict with her morals

(Actually getting her to care about them tho, if that is even possible, is a whole different story)

(My irl childfree stance leaking through here, but) she doesn't care about bloodlines and expanding her family. She's here for a good time, not a long time. Once she's gone, she's gone. Doesn't give af.

Huh. Maybe she really is like Gun. I think her ultimate goal in life would be finding someone to destroy her. Physically, mentally (sexually?). She's a sadist/masochist at heart

[expiationist]

Hello there 💖

So I have a few questions for your videos :

Ho long have you been studying Japanese ? What made you want to do it ?

Congratulations for going to Nagoya ! The city is really pretty ! How did you manage to get to go to school there ?

Do you want to get a job in Japan or in another country (related to Japan in a way or another) ?

How do you film your YouTube videos ? What do you use to edit them ?

Sorry if it’s a lot of questions, I really like your account and your videos

Lots of love 💖

@momoxstudies

im so sorry i never got around to making a video from this! i really planned on it, but life got in the way…

(///￣ ￣///)

i have been studying japanese since i was 16, during covid, and i just turned 21 last week! soooo,,, 5 years? holy fuck. ive only been studying in actual classes since i was 18 tho, so about 3 years of actual studying. and i still know essentially nothing <3 i think it was a combination of meeting japanese people online, watching anime, and reading manga. i was super into all that shit from a young age and i initally started learning japanese as a hobby with no intention of ever living in japan or anything, and it just evolved from there. no regerts tho (๑˘︶˘๑)

i got to study abroad at chukyo university in nagoya through my university! they partner w chukyo, so i did an exchange program. i fucking LOVED nagoya and would recommend it to everyone. nagoya gets a lot of hate i think, but i think it is a really great place to live. city vibes, i think there is a decent amount to do, but its not rlly overcrowded or overpopulated like tokyo osaka or kyoto. and the more rural areas of gifu/aichi surrounding it are beautiful. overall loved my experience and met some amazing people there.

the ultimate goal is to live in japan later on down the line, but until then, im not really sure what my plans are! i think japan is a beautiful country with a super rich culture and i can definitely see myself settling down/raising kids there, but i am also super career-oriented so i would like to focus on that first. ideally, id like to work for a japanese company with american branches, or work for an american company with branches in japan. something wherre i can go back and forth ! but im also leaving room for any unexpected opportunities when planning my future

i film my youtube videos with my iphone 12 pro max! tho the most recent vid is filmed on my friends tiny camera, which i forgot the name of, as well as one im editing now. i used FCP and capcut to edit! though recently i prefer capcut cuz i hate FCPs new user interface

thank you for all the compliments and interest in my life!! u are the best mwah mwah

[georgieluz]

getting a few things off my chest about Gen Kill. sorry im in your inbox. but i am. you can publish this ask or keep it in the DM, both are fine.

First, actually the hardest series to watch in all three shows for me. I'm ok with the level of violence in the other two (as well as other trigger-warning content) but the level of civilian casualty in GK just really fuck with me. I find it very hard to want to rewatch GK, even tho I do like the show a lot.

Second, Both TP and GK, for me, are the anti-thesis and deconstruction of BoB. In two different ways. TP talks about another theater and how fucked up these stories are and basically pushes the audience away. Don't look, it's not a story to share (vs BoB that invite you to take part and be with the characters). GK is the modern day glory-seeking meaningless chaotic and toxic reality of the US military (vs BoB's fighting for the right thing, our officers are smart and capable). And they're both meta answers to BoB's more propagandistic story.

Third, ok, let's get silly lol. I have to say whatever is going with Brad and Nate is fucking homo. "Not to be homo sir, but I can kiss you right now" um what. And the eyes contact. Bro. Bruh. That being said... I ship BradRay xD Their bantering old-married-couple dynamic is more my speed, than BradNate victorian yearning dynamic xD

hello, no worries, it's all good, my inbox is always open for thoughts, insights and opinions! this got pretty long so i'm gonna put it under a read more so it doesn't annoy anyone

i published this bc i ended up adding a lot of my own thoughts about it and didn't want it to seem like i was directing them specifically at you or your opinion bc i do go off track a lot.

it was the hardest series for me to get into as well at first, for a similar few reasons. first of all, it felt like i was being dropped into a locked room with men who would hate my guts, and not just have bullied me in high school, but detest my existence too. so i think that atmosphere of over the top toxic masculinity instantly made me uneasy, but that's the point. that's the whole reason the articles, book and show exists really. to show how that mindset and atmosphere laid the groundwork for what happened. i think if they were to have made a show where we as viewers are allowed to laugh along with their jokes, enjoy their interactions, but not be forced to confront the realities of both the invasion and the people taking part, then it would defeat the message and themes that the show is trying to present to us. i think the civilian death, and basically the way the military treated civilians in general, has to make you uncomfortable, otherwise it's not doing its job as a text or piece of media. at least from the writer's perspective and what they wanted to say about what happened there, bc ultimately, everything is a construct with biases and a goal. so i 100% agree with you in that it's easily the most uncomfortable show to casually watch in that regard, but if it didn't show all of that, it wouldn't be a show with a purpose, imo.

i would personally put the pacific a bit closer to band of brothers than gen kill when it comes to discussing its propagandism actually. bc whilst it has the caveat of "this is the reality and brutality of war, it's horrific, you don't want any part of it" and "it's not all camaraderie and brothers being bonded for life", the show still has its 'heroes' who are depicted as sacrificing either their lives or their mental wellbeing for 'the cause', and it still carries the message of "yes this is terrible but it's needed". two things that propagandist themes can thrive amongst. just reading some of the more bootlickery youtube comments about the pacific shows how some of those people cling onto the brutality and harshness of that theatre of war, and the show itself, as a display of heroic bravery and badge of honour. i've seen a few commenters on reaction videos and stuff and they're basically frothing at the mouth about how it's so much more brutal than band of brothers, and they aren't saying it from a critical perspective either, which is what the show may have intended, but more from a "omg brutal war porn nice!!" kinda way. i know i'm rambling off point from what you said, but it's just some of my thoughts. i'm probably gonna ramble a bit in the rest of the post so don't see it as me disagreeing with your points bc i think we have pretty much the same opinion in most ways, but i guess your ask has prompted a lot of thinking from me so i'm just getting some of my thoughts out about the shows.

i think for me, i would say the pacific is a stepping stone between band of brothers and generation kill. i do agree in that it is pushing the viewer away from the idea of war as noble, in favour of saying "no! it's dirty and cruel and harsh and you won't survive it, even if you're alive when it's over" but it's also presented in the same way as band of brothers in regards to how we're supposed to view these men. there's many competent and intelligent guys making decisions and the humanity of those men is always on display. they're still shown as heroes, even if they're broken ones. so i think i can't fully align it with gen kill as a direct opposition to the messaging in band of brothers, but more one that says "ok, we've seen it from that perspective, now let's open up the casket up a little more and try to understand it looking through another lens".

whereas for me, gen kill sets explosives in the casket and blows that shit to pieces. there are no noble heroes competently achieving great feats, or sacrificing their lives for 'the greater good'. the people who do die, or get wounded, are seen as wasted casualties and missions gone wrong, fuck ups that we see in the corner of exterior shots to remind us that it's not all singing avril lavigne in a humvee, that there are consequences, even for the invaders. we see the destruction they inflict on civilians constantly, but the marines that get wounded/die are essentially proof of the incompetencies and fuck ups that even the most militaristic audience has to admit to.

the line of morality is non-existent, apart from a few people that we meet, but they have no power whatsoever. they can't actually do anything even if they disagree with what's happening. they stand by and they watch. we get nate who hates it, very clearly, but his whole thing is that he literally can't do anything. he has no actual power or impact on anything there. i saw a meme on here a few days ago where it was like "i'm competent at my job but i'm starting to think i'm just decorative" and it's funny and just a silly meme but it's also kind of the truth. we see him make a few decisions that go over the head of the initial orders, etc, but in the big picture, they have so little effect that it's a drop in the ocean comparatively. so the little competency we do have is ineffective. and even the more authoritative roles within the narrative that we get to see, like ferrando, are shown as not just making bad decisions, but actually not having much control over matters themselves. they're all floundering from top to bottom. there's no basilone or winters or ack ack there to make us sigh with relief as viewers bc finally, someone will make things right, make the right choice, do the right thing. instead we have these very complex people who have a lot of messed up flaws and shit within them, but some realistic relatabilities too. and sure, a good few of them want to do better and will call out certain shit they see in different ways (doc bryan, nate, espera, brad) but ultimately, they're forced to not just watch and let it happen, but a lot of the time, take part and be culpable for those actions too.. and it's not depicted as a noble sacrifice of their morality, it positions them as helpless and incapable. so the viewer doesn't get their usual hbo war heroes, which to me, feels like a direct answer to both band of brothers and the pacific in that kind of way.

i feel like walt's character shows us that (on a surface level basis but still). he's presented to us as the more appealing contrast to trombley. they're both young and in brad's team, two sides of a coin you could say bc we're shown immediately that trombley is the problem child and walt is the pretty golden boy that spends his scenes telling brad to get some rest or trying to fix the dodgy equipment they've got, or essentially is just trying to be helpful. but they both fuck up bad and kill civilians as an individual. we don't get to keep our clean innocent pretty boy. he fucks up. bad. his hands aren't clean. none of theirs are. not nate's, not even doc bryan's. he says that himself. walt clearly feels terrible afterward and that's the difference between him and trombley (though i will say i do think trombley is much more complex than we see on the surface), but walt doesn't get to escape the blood on his hands. even the most seemingly "innocent" characters never get to remain that in this show. there are no heroes.

and then the second point i mentioned above about the message of "yes was is terrible but needed sometimes" is the other thing that gen kill throws away and abandons. nothing, not a single thing, is depicted as needing to happen. yeah, they're told it's needed and honestly, a lot of those marines were brainwashed into believing it, but the whole point is that it wasn't. it was a colossal fuck up in every way and the show holds up a massive flashing neon sign showing us exactly how, but from the ground.

so absolutely fully agree with you that this show is positioned as a meta deconstruction to band of brothers themes, and even the pacific, especially when the shows are presented as a package deal, as hbo war so often is. it's all a lot more nuanced than what i've said bc i've just been rambling AGAIN, but i think there's a lot of dialogue going on between the three shows when you analyse them from further away that is really interesting to discuss.

so yup, definitely agree with what you said and thank you for dropping by my inbox to talk about this kinda stuff with me! i'm sorry if i went into too much detail or overtook this ask with my own opinions or anything but yeah. i think we all know by now that i tend to ramble when asked about anything!

NOW ONTO THE FUN PART!

it genuinely feels like bradnate have taken up residence in a very large part of my brain. i had heard a lot of people mentioning bradray on here before i watched, so i was expecting that to be the main 'ship' of the show, and kinda thought i'd probably end up getting onboard with that, but i actually only got platonic besties vibes from them. i'm always down for as much gay as possible, so i support it, but i just don't really see anything outside of platonic love between them? i do really enjoy their relationship and interactions though, and some of their scenes are my absolute favourites.

but i'm ALL about the victorian repression and yearning, so ofc bradnate is where it's at for me. as a gay man who repressed all his emotions growing up it just calls to me like a siren lmao. i think that's why i'm like a feral little gremlin about nate actually

[barbylion]

wyd when an otherwise harmless confrontation with your gf's other gf becomes a bloody standoff incited by some fuckass walmart brand cthulhu freak and ultimately ends in your death ? 🤨

and wyd when you miraculously come back at the hands of some obscure entity that acts like they don't want anything from you but deep down you know that everything comes with a price; especially these crazy abilities you suddenly have? 🤔

Meet Zar!

(she/they)

Zahara "Zar" Hawthorne

pronouns: she/they

age: 18

dob: December 17th, 2005

death date: January 1st. 2023

resurrection date: January 8th, 2023

orientation: biromantic, aegosexual

general fc: amandla stenberg

starkid fc: tiffany williams

facts n things:

was That Girl™️: popular cheerleader, but nice enough to have a plug in every clique; in the top 10 of her class; had the perfect girlfriend, etc. etc. very sweet girl, just had the worst friends

was (and is) deeply strange by normie standards. hangs out in graveyards and develops parasocial relationship with some of the tombstones. has a serious fascination with life, death, anatomy, bugs, the supernatural, etc.

initially kept that shit to herself bc it's social suicide—total grounds for being a nerdy prude. dying changes ur outlook a bit, though. release ur inhibitions, feel the rain, etc, etc

can be very blunt and outspoken. despite being well meaning and friendly, she'll sometimes say things without thinking but they always apologize as soon as they realize she's stuck a foot in her mouth. all but abandoned her peppy sunshiney half after coming back. she's still in there, somewhere. but it'll take a lot for them to fully trust someone enough again

so, what happened?

their gf's other woman, who I'll name Lou for simplicity, got her to come out to the ol' Waylon place so they could "talk"

many things lead to many other things and an "intimidation" attempt turns into a murder attempt, with Lou being under the influence of Wiggly

ruh roh! snapped out of it, Lou is in a panic and decides to call the mutual gf for advice

mutual gf is the worst person ever, actually. instead of turning Lou in, she helps her cover things up and they dump Zar's body deep in the Witchwood Forest

but wait, there's more! Zar's not quite dead and eventually succumbs to a combination of their wounds and the freezing January night

but not before weakly calling out to somebody, anybody for help

seven days later and She Has Risen! with the help of a currently undetermined entity, but renewed life comes with a price and, in order to live, Zar must do their bidding

it's not all bad, though. they don't ask for things super often (but when they do, there's absolutely no objections. ever.) and have been super helpful in both Zar's revenge plot and honing her newly gained abilities. sometimes she uses her powers for good tho

anywayy, Zar dropped out of Hatchetfield High after being murdered—fair tbh. who needs a GED when you can work at the seedy occult store in town and also be an immortal witch of ambiguous moral standing 🤷🏽‍♀️

but tbh - at the end of the day, they're still just a 18 year old girl. imagine all the cringe 18 year old quirks and throw them into a vat of powerful murder gremlin soup. that's Zar

(after)life goals:

get revenge ✅

join smoke club ✅

resurrect the Victorian Dandy whose grave she hung around the most—they had a tryst in the afterlife and are saur in love 🔳

go on a tour of all the most haunted places in the world 🔳

see Gossip, Babymetal, and MCR in concert 🔳🔳🔳

Zahara and her story draw heavy influence from Jennifer's Body, Lisa Frankenstein, Poor Things, every other goth horror queen and a myriad of tropes I really enjoy. they're my manic murder goth girl, but she's so chill if you're cool 😌

Pre-Death Pinterest

After-Death Pinterest

[divkazkdovikde]

diary entry, monday, 8th of july 2024

guess who came back from the deepest pits of hell to the world of living

i have no idea when was the last time i stopped to think about and reminiscent on my current daily life, new stuff, what was i up to and shit like that, everything is going so so fast and like 99% of time i have no idea what am i even doing. i’m tired, i’m struggling, i’m getting better and i keep getting up every day and that counts

the hell exams period was? my days pretty much consisted of school-work-sleep (if the derranged fucked up not-routine i was pulling off can be called that) on repeat.

- i started working in a coffee shop (real fancy shit- specialty coffee from the forest, boss is a little fucking arrogant bitch (she’s a joke fr) but colleagues are great tho) (it also made me a coffee snob- my greatest nightmare came true) so i’m living the ultimate college experience now

- when i was not at work i was deep down buried in school stuff, and i also went through this four weeks of school internship during the exams, since i refused to complete it in summer, which made me absolutely exhausted to death (had to wake up really fucking early for it) and the studying couldn’t go any slower.

- so i was sleep deprived, frustrated, annoyed and oversensitive for like two months straight (gay) the only people whose companny i could stomach without worrying about my social battery were my flatmate (we were absolutely in it and dying together, shout out to her for always knowing exactly what am i going through) and our friend from highschool (she’s the best, shout out to her for having all those study dates with me and motivating me to productivity, you’re a real one babe, and the girl walks for mental health after almost every session) (and shout out to star girl for even if so far, still always here (if you’re reading this, thank you, you are the best and i’m very grateful for you)

the end of the exams were rather fiasco-esque but i got through it, thank fucking god

anyway, to the fun stuff, during the semester, i had this little sidequest going on, which was doing pixel graphics for my friend’s game. mind you, i’ve never done pixel graphics before. but it was absolutely a fun thing to learn and do. i didn’t think i would enjoy it as much as i did

i also quite lived the social life, some events i enjoyed more than other, but it was lovely anyway. met some new people, saw some of my favourite people too, family time was there as well

culture wise it was not boring either, galleries, trips with friends, exploring the big city, etc etc, you name it

had my birthday somewhere in between too (broke the “i always cry on my birthday because something always fucks up and that’s why i hate them” curse)(got some of the best gifts ever too, like i’m actually so emotional, the best of them all? the new abnormal (my favourite album ever) vinyl - honestly fuck my flatmate for that, i will never top that gift)

i also kind of stole my mother’s old camera (she wasn’t using it anymore, shame on her, honestly) so i’m currently learning how to work with it

got new tattoos

i became an insane plant mom, i have so much of them now fr. two of my plants died, i really tried to save them tho, rip. and another one’s really sick now and i’m getting desperate, because i have no ideas on how to save her left. but the rest is good well and thriving

i haven’t been able to read much lately, if i finally could find the time for it, there was no energy left, so it was a bit weak on that front. but, i did read something, if i have some czech babes here - srpny, jakub stanjura (trust me, it will ruin you, it’s really good) and i started to rereading the trials of apollo (never finished it in the first time, so that’s what the goal now) and i absolutely stopped reading fanfictions (a tragedy, really, i miss it) and i haven’t played any game in weeks either (miss that too). i’m currently trying to catch up those things, since i have a bit more time sans the school

even though i haven’t got time for much of my hobbies lately, i did manage to develop a new one, it’s an obsession at this point tbh. formula one, guys. actually my brother follows it for quite some time now (we can be talking years probably) and i always was like “yeah, whatever.” but somehow, i don’t even know how, these fucking f1 reels kept showing on my instagram and i was like “wow that’s actually kind of funny and definitely cool” and then “let’s go watch dts, to see what the buzz is about” which i enjoyed at first but started to lowkey hate it, seems like a unnecessary soap opera to me, and so i decided to fuck it and just buy the subscription, so i (and my brother in extension, of-bloody-course) can watch the races and other stuff. and i absolutely live laugh love it

- fun fact: it actually helped me a lot to keep motivated. i had it on the background quite often during studying and the buzz, passion, enthusiasm and the fast shit made me buzzing too and kept me motivated, because it sparked my sport’s soul and you know how it is, once a competitor, always a competitor, “if they can drive those fucking fast cars and go through all that, i can study the fuck out of this shit” so yeah, that was and unexpected but rather great turn of events

(i would also like to apologise to everyone i ghosted and/or took ages replying to, here, my friends, my bachelor thesis leader… little miss girl was having a hard time to keep herself going guys, i’ll get better again, i promise, or i’ll certainly try to)

i’m also learning and trying to cook more, i never was really bad at it, but i also never cooked much, so i would like to improve my skills and experience. it always takes my mind off things and i find it quite therapeutic, so yeah

also my reading goal is waiting for me and i can’t wait to get back to the stack of unfinished/unread books again

i have my summer mostly planned out, going to visit some cool places too, can’t wait

i wish i could say i’m happy but life is still playing chess with me and i’ve always been terrible at chess no matter how many years i went to the chess club. but yeah well, you gotta keep going right? try to look out for yourself, keep fighting and stuff like that huh? i’ll be alright, we all will

summer’s here guys, let’s enjoy the shit out of it, i had enough of survival mode

+ current music obsessions:

- touch tank - quinnie

- so high school - t swift (dunno how that happened, smh, it’s so bad fr, but i’m vibing, let the girl vibe)

- gasoline - måneskin

- bon appétit - katy perry (yep)

- moth to a flame - swedish house mafia, the weeknd

- stargazing - myles smith

- birds of the feather - billie eilish

also my favourite playlists lately here: f1 vibes , summer vibes and sunset vibes