#this is absolutely the happy outcome of the love languages thing i did with him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clumsy-jiminie · 9 months ago

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ɪɴᴇᴠɪᴛᴀʙʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ | ᴘᴊᴍ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰɪᴠᴇ

❝ ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ ʜᴜʀᴛꜱ ❞

↣ summary :: Kiara Smith had dreamed of true love for as long as she could remember. from being obsessed with the Disney princesses who found affection in the strangest situations to dressing up as a bride from kindergarten to fourth grade. it was the only thing she ever truly desired, so much so that a pleasant smile and kind eyes could have her smitten in seconds. right when she thought she found the one, a chance encounter with Park Jimin—the city’s famously perfect fuck boy with a smile so warm and a heart of ice—has her feeling quite the opposite. he knocks her off her axis and derails her life as she knows it, yet the universe seems to have another plan for the two.

↣ rating :: 18+

↣ genre :: fluff, angst, smut, e2l, slow burn

↣ pairing :: business owner!jimin x fem!artist!oc ft. taehyung

↣ word count :: 3.8k

↣ chapter warnings :: mature language, public displays of affection, angst with resolve, mentions of anxiety, ⚠️ verbal abuse - light but still not ok ⚠️

↣ next :: previous :: series m.list ↢

if you have any questions, comments, or concerns PLEASE don't hesitate to message me or send me an ask! my inbox is always open. 💖

"yeah, I got issues, and one of them is how bad I need you."

- ɪꜱꜱᴜᴇꜱ, ᴊᴜʟɪᴀ ᴍɪᴄʜᴀᴇʟꜱ -

It only took a few days before everything returned to normal between the couple. No apology was issued, but they continued as if the argument had never happened. That's how things typically were with the two. Arguments would always fade away without them talking any further about it. It wasn't something Kiara particularly enjoyed, but after trying to talk things out, it would only result in restarting the cycle; she settled for his method instead. It kept them both happy in the end, anyway. At least, that's what she thought. The conversation would always sit with her a bit longer than him. So, while he was normal, touching her and smiling, she had to force herself to keep up the facade. It was tiring but a better outcome than arguing all over again.

Kiara stared at her phone while slowly pushing the shopping cart through the aisle. Her arms rested against the cart's bar, leaning against it comfortably as she looked through the notes on her phone. It was chore day, and chore day also meant grocery shopping day. Usually, she would love to take her time through the store and hopefully find some exciting snacks, but she couldn't wait to get home. She was in the middle of her last piece for her latest collection. The blush pinks, baby blues, and teals were so pretty to her, reminding her of babies and how she wanted a family of her own one day. Three bundles of joy and absolute chaos running around made her excited. She sighed softly, straightening out her spine before feeling gentle resistance. Her brows drew together before she felt slight pressure against her backside.

"Taehyung," she sighed despite the small smile forming on her lips. His hand, placed firmly on her hip, kept her in place as they walked.

"Mm, what?" He responded lazily, eyes fixated on the view of her golden skin peeking out from under her cropped hoodie. The black leggings she wore were no help either. The fabric became so thin when she bent over, stretching to accommodate her round ass. He could almost see the outline of her thong.

"What are you doing?"

"Appreciating my girlfriend. What did you think?"

"Oh, I don't know...." She stopped suddenly, halting Taehyung as well. His hips pressed into hers, causing him to bite down on his lower lip briefly. "Someone may think you're trying to start something in public." Taehyung hummed as his mind was far from his current reality, somewhere in a realm where public indecency wouldn't get you fined. He returned back to Earth when Kiara decided to turn around and face him. She tilted her head back, looking up at him as she bit back the smirk that desperately wanted to spread on her lips. "You do know we're in public, right?" The sass that fell from her lips only made Taehyung wish to play more. He rested both of his hands on the cart behind her, essentially caging her in.

If there was one thing she could do all day, it was look at Taehyung. He was so gorgeous. Model worthy. Even as he had his round-framed silver glasses resting on his straight nose, she wanted nothing more than his lips on her.

"Nope," he grinned.

"Dangerous."

"You love it." He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, causing her to inhale deeply. Her hands rested on his chest before sliding up to meet behind his neck. Warmth spread through Kiara's system despite them being in the freezer aisle. One of his hands left the cart to rest against her back, pulling her in closer.

"Uh, we're gonna need a clean-up on aisle 14." A familiar voice suddenly rang through Kiara's ears, causing her to pull away from her boyfriend. She glanced around before meeting with the owner of the voice, a smile forming on her lips. "It looks like someone wet themselves," Momo teased the girl with a playful smirk.

"You're so lame!" Hoseok heckled while he reached into the freezer, chuckling softly.

"You knew this, and you're still choosing to marry me," Momo stuck her tongue out at the man, who did the same to her. Afterward, she directed her attention to Kiara. "But seriously, you should really get a room." She placed her hand on her chest as she leaned in, her voice dropping to a whisper. "There are children around!"

"Fuck them kids," Taehyung quickly said as he wrapped his arms around Kiara. He leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder. "They gotta learn about the birds and the bees somehow."

"Taehyung, you disgust me," Momo scowled. The man winked at her, and Momo recoiled as if he had reached out to touch her. Hoseok then returned, tossing some frozen fruit pops into the cart.

Kiara's eyebrows furrowed as she scanned over the couple's cart. There were some colorful party plates, cups, hats, and napkins. There were also a few bags of chips and liters of various sodas. "You guys having a party or something?" She asked while resting her hands on Taehyung's arms.

"One of our students is turning eight today!" Hoseok beamed as if it was his child.

"She's the absolute cutest, and she's going to go far. Right, Hobi?" Momo added, gleaming as well.

Hoseok quickly nodded. "Yep, AIM has itself its first prodigy."

Taehyung furrowed his brows as he stood up. "AIM? Is that...."

"Art In Motion! The dance studio we work at!" Momo answered. Taehyung made a small o with his mouth, slowly nodding his head.

"It's not like they don't talk about it all the time," Kiara teased, earning a squeeze from him.

"You guys should come in sometime!" Momo said before walking over to one of the freezers. "We teach duets on some days."

Kiara quickly shook her head. "You know damn well I don't dance."

"I know you don't dance sober," Momo side-eyed her, causing the girl to roll her eyes.

"Yeah, I was about to say; I know a certain dance you do, but it's only when you come back from bottomless mimosas," Taehyung grinned, earning an elbow to his rib. "Don't hurt me because I'm right!" The group laughed together before bidding their farewells. Kiara grabbed the cart once more to continue on their shopping adventure.

"So, Tae...," Kiara drawled as she trailed behind the man. He hummed while looking at an item on the shelves, encouraging her to continue. "I was looking at houses out here, which are really expensive. Do we have to move out this year?"

"Do you want that ring?" He responded as he tossed the item into the cart. Her eyes went wide as her heart sunk into her chest. She assumed that was why she wasn't engaged yet, but to have him say it so casually. To have him say it as if it was something she had to earn. She could hear her best friends yelling at her to leave him, to turn around and not look back.

But she loved him.

"Taehyung!" A man suddenly called out, ripping his attention away from Kiara. Both of them turned to look at the interruption. A smile formed on Taehyung's lips while Kiara's eyes narrowed. Directly ahead of them was none other than Jimin. Kiara huffed, trying to pry her eyes away from the man, but she couldn't for some reason, maybe because it was the first time she'd seen him dressed down—sporting a dark purple hoodie with a denim jacket over it and a pair of black sweatpants that slimmed to a cuff around his ankle. His hair looked messy despite him trying to hide it under his hood—fluffy blonde strands sticking out like he had just rolled out of bed and decided not to style it. How could one look just as good dressed down?

"You stalking me, Jimin?" The brunette teased as he went in to hug the man.

"For fucks sake," Kiara sighed before her eyes went wide. Taehyung shot her a warning glare, making her muscles stiffen as she looked down at the linoleum floor. She was usually good at keeping her thoughts to herself.

Jimin looked at Kiara for the first time today, and his eyebrows piqued in interest. Was it wrong to be lusting over a man's girlfriend right in front of him, especially when you're trying to rekindle a relationship with said man? Yes, yes it was. He possessed enough self-control not to react physically but couldn't deny that she looked good. She had an impeccable style. Even when she dressed down, she stole the room. Instead, he feigned an eye roll. He wanted to do nothing but push those buttons of hers and watch her eyes be set ablaze with fire. But he wouldn't be able to handle that switch to fondness whenever she eventually looked at Taehyung, at least not today. He peeled his eyes away from the girl to look at the brunette, a warm smile forming on his lips. "Isn't it funny how small the world becomes after bumping into each other once?"

"Oh, it's hilarious," Kiara mumbled quietly this time, sarcasm dripping from her words. Boy, she wasn't making it easy for Jimin. He had a thousand and one remarks for her sassy little quip, but he'll save those for another day.

The two men proceeded to catch up while Kiara focused on anything besides the blonde before her. Honestly, what were the odds? There are a million different grocery stores on Long Island alone, and this is the one he chooses? It hasn't even been a week since their little dinner encounter. The universe wanted to see some drama in her life as if she didn't have enough. What the universe needed to do was send signs to the tall blockhead so she could get proposed to before selling her soul for a house.

As much as she loved that Taehyung was reconnecting and making new friends, she didn't want to spend another second in this vicinity. Jimin's aura was sickeningly addictive. He oozed charisma, and it pissed her off that she wanted to have a conversation with him, to be included. She stared at the back of Taehyung's head, eyes sensing daggers in hopes he turned around. Instead, her amber eyes locked with the blonde's. His eyes flickered up and down subtly before a mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his plump lips. He looked away, assumingly giving Taehyung his full attention once again. Kiara's brows furrowed. What was that look for? Did he think he had a one-up on her?

Enough was enough.

Kiara stepped forward, nudging Taehyung with the cart. He suddenly stopped talking, pausing momentarily before looking at her. "Babe, can we go? I'm getting a little tired." She lied through her teeth, her voice as sweet as candy. She had to pull out all the cards to pull Taehyung away from this so-called friend. What if Jimin was using Taehyung now to get some sick inside scoop on her? She couldn't have that.

"In a minute, I just want to smooth out these details for the next guys night." His voice was colder than the freezer aisle they were just in. He turned back around, fully facing Jimin again.

She sighed in defeat. She knew Taehyung meant no harm, but each second near Jimin felt like an hour. Kiara had no idea what this man was capable of, and that devilish, slick tongue only made things worse. She quickly glanced away, hoping to find anything she could fiddle with as a minor distraction. Touching random food items seemed too obvious, so she opted for her cell phone. She pulled it out, sending a quick text to the group chat.

Kiara: guess who just pulled up to your local grocery store Kiara: it's your favorite person kookie Jeongguk: JUSTIN BIEBER??? Jeongguk: drop the address NOW Samira: you're an idiot

Kiara pressed her lips in a line, holding back a smile.

Kiara: no it's the blonde from the coffee shop Kiara: I hate it here Jeongguk: do me a favor and throw your shoe at him Jeongguk: specifically the left one Jeongguk: the right one won't do Samira: I second Samira: why the left one tho Jeongguk: so he'll be surprised when I get him with this right hook

Kiara burst into a quiet fit of laughter, using her hand to cover her mouth. She loved her best friends dearly. While she giggled, Taehyung's and Jimin's ears perked up like a dog hearing the word walk, although both for different reasons.

Taehyung couldn't help but glance at his partner, seeing a wide grin on her lips as her fingers typed away on her phone. Something flared up inside of him, triggering him. It was the same feeling he had from the other night. He couldn't run away this time, so he had to sit with the heavy feeling in his chest and tensed muscles.

Jimin also looked, but he felt something in his chest from the sight. Something warm. Something that made him want to spread his lips and mimic that smile. He couldn't put his finger on it and didn't think he wanted to. He couldn't have that. It felt familiar, and familiarity needed to stay in a locked box in the deepest corner of his mind. Despite it, his eyes twinkled as a mischievous smirk played on his lips. He returned his gaze to Taehyung. "You know, one of my friends is having a game night later in the week. You should definitely come through."

Taehyung's met his eyes, and he pushed down whatever feeling was bubbling in his chest as he smiled at the man. "Definitely! That sounds like fun!"

Kiara was too busy giggling at the messages she received to pay attention to the plans that were made aloud. It wasn't until she felt eyes on her. It made her uneasy, a chill running down her spine as she looked up. Jimin's evil eyes met hers.

"You should bring Kiara along too," Jimin suggested while his eyes remained glued to the girl.

Kiara glared at the blonde. "I would rather jump off the Manhattan Bridge."

Taehyung's eyes went wide, shooting her a look. That look. Kiara couldn't help but cringe, feeling herself shrink into her shoes as she looked down at the ground.

"She'd love to come," Taehyung responded, returning his gaze to Jimin. "We'll be there."

Kiara's head shot up, sending daggers into the back of Taehyung's head. If looks could kill, both men would be casualties right now.

Jimin grinned at the other. "Great! I'll see you then!"

As they bid their farewells, Kiara subtly flipped the blonde off. All Jimin did was smirk playfully, winking at her in response. The girl shivered with disgust.

After he left, the couple was silent for the rest of their trip. Kiara couldn't understand why Taehyung would think she would want to attend any event with Jimin. She ranted to the man about their horrible first impression and how he ruined her favorite hoodie. Kiara didn't want to fake nice for hours on end; one, it was draining as hell, and two, that prick didn't deserve it. They paid and exited the grocery store. A cloak of silence wrapped around them dropped once they approached Kiara's car. She huffed quietly, almost shaking her head out of pure disbelief.

"I thought you couldn't stand him," she grumbled.

"I thought you wanted me to make more friends," he countered.

Kiara rolled her eyes, sighing softly as she regretted giving him that push. "I don't want to go to this thing, Tae," she admitted. "I don't even know why he invited me. He's your friend."

"Why can't he be our friend?" He asked while looking at the girl, meeting her eyes.

"I'm not friends with people who don't like me," she deadpanned. She started packing the groceries into the car, exceptionally cautiously placing the bags. She would hate if something got smushed or broken because she grew annoyed.

Taehyung watched as she did so, arms folding over his chest as he leaned against the car. "You don't know that."

"I'm pretty sure you don't call the people you like selfish."

Taehyung shrugged casually, "You got off on the wrong foot, so what? You don't think you could push past that or at least pretend to for me?"

Kiara froze briefly, pressing her lips together as she thought. It's for Taehyung. She would suffer a ten-hour flight full of crying babies for this man, but Jimin was just slightly more insufferable than that. She stopped loading the groceries to look at him. As she opened her mouth to answer, a text notification emitted from her pocket. She wasn't going to look at it, already knowing who it was, but she watched as Taehyung's demeanor changed. The corners of his lips pulled into a frown. He tensed as his eyes narrowed into slits. Before she could even process what was happening, he opened his mouth. All at once, he remembered why he fell silent earlier.

"Give me your phone."

"What?" She chuckled, completely bewildered. He had to be joking. Just two seconds ago, he asked her to play nice, and now this?

"I'm not gonna repeat myself." He held his large hand towards her, like a parent demanding something of their child.

She chuckled again, this time wholly filled with nerves. She instinctively gripped her phone in her hoodie pocket to protect him from the device. "Are you kidding? I'm not giving you my phone."

His eyes narrowed at the shorter girl, letting his hand fall back to his side. "Why? You got something to hide?" Kiara shook her head, opening her mouth to say something, but was promptly cut off. "I saw the way you were smiling at your phone earlier. You got some nasty shit from Jeongguk, huh?"

"What?" Her eyes widen for a moment before narrowing at her partner. "What the fuck are you on about?" Kiara tried keeping herself calm, paying close attention to the tone of her voice, but she thought the days when she had to defend the relationship with her best friend were over.

"Give me your fucking phone, Kiara!" He yelled. The bass in his voice startled her, depth moving straight to her heart and increasing the beat suddenly. She jerked as if someone hit her. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as her breathing quickened. It happened all in an instant. She pulled out her phone and handed it to him without a thought. It was like her body was suddenly on autopilot.

He snatched the device from her, unlocking it without an issue. "I swear to god I do so much for you, for this fucking relationship, just for you to go behind my back and—" As he went through the text history with Jeongguk, all he saw was various memes from inside jokes, opinions of art going back and forth, and the occasional double text. Taehyung's jaw hung loosely briefly before quickly biting his lower lip. He even checked their group chat, but there was nothing besides Samira asking for help with Momo's wedding and the conversation he assumed she was laughing about. No, he couldn't be wrong. He knew what he saw. That smile.... There's no way he could've been wrong. There had to be something, anything, to prove her infidelity.

But there was nothing.

Taehyung locked Kiara's phone as the silence sat on them like a bag of bricks. He slowly looked at the girl, seeing tears brimming in her warm eyes of amber. Shit, he thought to himself. She was shivering, and he was sure it wasn't from the cold weather. Her chest was heaving like she just finished running a marathon.

"Ki...," his voice softened, barely above a whisper.

"No," she whimpered right before her throat decided to shut. Tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. She turned from him, loading up the rest of the car with haste. She tried not to make a sound apart from the occasional whimper that slipped past her trembling lips.

Taehyung sighed quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he watched her. "Kiara, please...," he pleaded as she stood upright. She ignored him, walking the cart back to its slot. When she returned, she had all intention of heading straight to the driver's side, but Taehyung's hand wrapping around her wrist stopped her.

She sniffled as she turned to face him. Kiara yanked her wrist from his hand, causing him to sigh. "When is this gonna stop?" She asked as she wiped her wet face with the sleeves of her hoodie. "When will you finally trust me enough to know I wouldn't ever step out on you?" Taehyung pressed his lips together, staring down at the girl. "I fucking love you, Tae, with every fiber of my being. I've loved you for years! But...," the girl trailed off, looking up at the night sky. She couldn't stop the tears, no matter how much she wanted to. Just thinking of the words hurt her.

Taehyung reached for her again, pulling her into his chest. He held her tightly in an embrace while she sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered as his hands rubbed her back soothingly. Kiara's cries slowed to a stop. "I'm so sorry. I..., I just get jealous sometimes. I think you'll leave me because I've never seen a bond like you and JK's. I feel like he's in love with you."

"He's my best friend," she mumbled before pulling away from the man. She wiped her nose as she stared down at the ground. "He does love me, but not in the way you love me." She rubbed her eyes once more before looking up at him. The whites of her eyes were now red. Taehyung couldn't help but frown, using his thumb to wipe the remaining tears. She flinched from his touch, looking away from him. "But that isn't an excuse to treat me like that." She took a step back from him. Her warmth left him with the winter cold. "So this jealousy stuff has to stop now."

Taehyung nodded his head quickly. "I'm sorry, I'll try harder." He reached out for her again, and she didn't pull away. He gently stroked her cheek with his thumb while Kiara inhaled deeply, leaning into his touch. "I will be better."

She let out a shaky breath before throwing herself into the man. She pressed her face into his chest, feeling the vibrations from his body as he chuckled. "So, about that game night...." She hummed, waiting for him to continue. "Will you try for me?"

She pulled away enough to look up at him, her warm eyes making his heart skip a beat. "I'll try."

↣ next :: previous :: series m.list ↢

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softguarnere · 10 months ago

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Miscellaneous Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @ronald-speirs 💕 Came at the perfect time, because I also needed a distraction

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

Absolutely loved going to Virginia as a kid, and I think all my best memories were made there

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Finally taking the leap and submitting poetry to journals recently 😬 No matter the outcome, I'm proud of myself for trying

Favorite books?

PJO, TCON, THG. Also the book "The Kingdom of Matthias" is so freakin' wild, everyone should definitely read that at some point, because it totally proves the whole "people have always been people" thing.

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

My dogs!

Favorite thing about your culture?

That we're still here 💪Also I love the way the language works

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

I watched BOB in high school, but I didn't join the fandom until about a year and a half ago

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

Heck yeah I have! Fierce Valor is definitely one of my favorites - so well written and really does a fantastic job of inspecting Speirs from all sides and giving him a fair depiction (which, as a historian, I love)

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Guarnere (everybody act surprised). Idk, I think the moment in the back of the truck when Dick tells him that he's not actually a Quaker, lol, his laugh always cracks me up

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I write fics! Mainly for BOB, but I've written for a few others recently

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

Probably Ralph Macchio, just because I feel like my mom and I are always watching something that has him in it. My Cousin Vinny is definitely my favorite, and not a day goes by that I don't quote it as a form of communication

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

Laugh at me if you want, but the "You're going to have to be the bravest you've ever been!" line from Bluey has been getting me through it lately ("it" being scary senior year stuff and also an upcoming doctor appointment).

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

According to a color analysis thingy, I am a true/cool summer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Do with that information what you will

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

I've never had a beta reader before, but if anyone ever wants to be, then hell yeah, come be my beta reader! (And I am also willing to read for anyone else!)

Three things that make you smile?

When the weather is good, when someone tells me that something made them think of me, and when I find little notes hidden in books that my late grandmother left me

Any nicknames you like?

Dove actually is my nickname hehe

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

How do I tag the entire HBOWar fandom? Everyone plz consider yourselves tagged, because I genuinely love seeing all of y'all on my dash

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Probably just stay in my house lol. Ummm, idk, if it came down to it, I would use my bow and arrows against the zombies and hope that it would work

Favorite movie?

The Outsiders will forever be so special to me🥺🫶🏽

Do you like horror movies?

No, because I love being able to sleep at night

Tagging: (but no pressure!) @mads-nixon @almost-a-class-act @dcyllom

#thank you for tagging me :)#tag game #about the author

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rhyske · 2 years ago

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Hiya! I am back! I was busy for a couple of days. I hope you are doing well!

I do agree that it doesn't seem like the characters have lives of their own save for a few that you can see interacting on screen. but there aren't really any hints of off-screen interactions which is such a missed opportunity. The approve disapprove system is really vague too, like the worst that could happen if you have a low approval rating with someone is that they are kinda cold or hostile towards your player character. I suppose it makes sense in the setting but still kinda weird.

some shit has happened in my playthrough so far… HAWKE, I loved seeing my girl again. but I knew I would have to make THAT choice, to be fair it wasn't that hard to leave stroud behind. AND THEY MENTIONED FENRIS AAAAA I almost cried. but yeah I couldn't do that to my girl or fen because they deserve the world. also Varric, I'd hate to make him sad.

I am romancing Solas and he do be making me mad. I already know he is bad… it's an old game and I got it spoiled at some point. but yeah I don't know what the context is or what his motivation is. I would guess it's something, something elves and their old empire glory days. but it's interesting being able to clearly see the hints of when he lets something slip etc. my brother told me, Solas wanted the anchor for himself(?) and he has posed with his hand outstretched like the inquisitor does, once toward the breach and once towards cole. idk if it's just a mage thing but alarm bells were going off in my head. I have some theories but I doubt I am anywhere near the right answer. The reason I am mad at him is because he literally never wants to talk to me, I've cycled through all of his dialogue and it makes me sad, even after doing some minor quests for him he says nothing, and he didn't show up at wicked grace TT_TT. I suppose it depends on how you play it but I feel like his romance is very fast and then there is nothing? ALSO, THE DREAM KISS WAS WILD, I did not expect that to happen so fast.

Cole's quest was a bit interesting when choosing between making him more like a person or a spirit. I tried both and I had a hard time choosing what outcome I wanted but then I decided to make him more like a person, it was kinda bittersweet in a way and also Varric became like a father to him which was sweet.

oh, learning Japanese is really cool but it's so difficult! I know some small phrases and such but I don't think I could learn to read their characters, I already struggle with spelling in my native language and English haha. it's amazing that you're learning it! do you have someone that you can practice speaking with? I know that really helped me when I was learning English when I was younger. earlier this week I was on an internship at a college I'm applying. for some reason there happens to be a few Japanese students at that college, its kinda in the middle of nowhere so I was a bit surprised hahah I wanted to say hi in Japanese but I was too shy to do it ^^' 💜

Oh welcome back!! I was wondering where you were and if you were okay (: I've been alright! Allergies has been giving me headaches the last week or so >:

Omg yeah for me it was between Alistair and Hawke, and legit. I romanced Alistair both times I've played Origins because I adore him...but I sent him into the Fade. Because I just. Imagining Fenris losing Hawke was absolutely devastating. I couldn't do it. Especially with Varric there, knowing he'd be watching his best friend basically disappear to their death, and having to be the one that lets Fenris know. I couldn't do that to my boy. Hawke and the Kirkwall Crew is my Dragon Age Normandy and I will do my best to make them happy and keep them that way.

I romanced Solas my first time around (Cullen my second) and I highly agree that it's very obvious Solas' romance was a last minute addition. It just...has no build up, and the seeming insta-love it shows is terrible. BUT, I will say, the potential in that romance and the absolute devastation it has has me invested. I won't continue with a Solas romanced world state but I will definitely be seeing how it impacts things in the second game. I can talk about Solas' character for hours, he's the most heart wrenching character I have seen in a game in a long time, and how that translates into a fascinating romance... If it had been done right.

Yeah, there are so many opportunities to have the characters interact with each other in Skyhold and they just...didn't bother with it. Mass Effect 3 they started doing that a bit (and I think it should've been a thing in all three games too, show a cohesive team dammit!) and it was amazing watching the characters talk to each other and share stories and inside jokes and whatnot. They have a life outside Shepard. Dragon Age 2 didn't have a hub, and I think they did an amazing job with the party banter to compensate.

I really liked Cole's quest! I don't remember a ton of it but I also remember not knowing which decision I wanted to do (and kinda feeling confused as to why it was up to me to begin with). I think I decided to go with him being more of a person too!

I don't have anyone to speak with ^^' I've decided to focus more on just reading comprehension, mainly because my main drive to learn the language is to read manga and play games that don't get a localization. I'm also hella shy, so just imagining trying to speak the language or instant message someone in the language gives me so much anxiety!

Oh that's so cool! What's the major? Haha, aaaw, I feel that! I remember, back in high school, we got some Korean transfer students and I so badly wanted to get to know them (I was in a big KPop phase then and trying to learn Korean), but I was way too shy to approach them! I ended up writing a letter in Korean with a help of a Korean penpal instead! I don't remember how I gave them the letter. I think through a friend? They gave me a CD of their favorite KPop band but that was the last I ever had any interaction with them cause I didn't know how to respond.

#purple heart anon #sweetheart anon #asks #i answer #i talk

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drabbles-mc · 2 years ago

Text

Losing It

Steve Harrington x F!Reader

Whumptober 2022: No.13 Can’t Make An Omelette Without Breaking A Few Legs- Dislocation

Combined with this request from @espieviolet99: What if they have a sweet moment where reader is like, "I know you still love Nancy, but I kinda like you" and he doesn't quite act on it until they're stuck in the upside down after the bat fight.

Warnings: angst (with a hopeful ending), injury, canon-typical violence, language, no use of “y/n”

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: This is my first ever Steve fic! It was definitely fun to take on a new character from the series. Hope y’all enjoy! (Also just a reminder that my requests are still closed. This is an old request that just so happened to line up with the Whumptober prompt of the day.

Stranger Things Taglist: @garbinge @thatpunkmaximoff @winchestershiresauce @xbunnysbrainx @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @lmili (If you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)

Your mind was going at a million miles a minute as everyone started piling into the tiny little boat. The sounds of Dustin’s complaining was drowned out by your own thoughts and the blood rushing in your ears. Even though you weren’t really listening to what anyone was saying, your body was still going through the motions. Outwardly, you seemed fine except for the extra jitters.

Your thoughts were split in two, one half of them trying to think of every possible outcome for what was about to happen, what would be unfolding over the next few days. The other half was ruminating on the hushed conversation that you’d had with Steve the night before.

You still found it hard to believe that you’d told him how you felt about it. The words had come tumbling out before you even knew what was happening. You didn’t really know where it came from. But looking back on it, in the wake of everything that you both were facing, confessing your feelings seemed like the least of your problems. The possibility of facing imminent death at any moment over the next few days made everything else seem so…small.

And he had handled it well. Probably better than you would have if you had been in his position. You weren’t an idiot—you knew that there was still something there between him and Nancy. You weren’t quite sure what was happening there anymore, but you could see the way that they looked at each other sometimes when they were talking. It sucked, and you didn’t know what you expected to get out of it other than getting it off of your chest. Maybe that would be enough.

“You okay?” Steve’s voice snapped you back to the present.

Your eyes widened for a moment, fighting the urge to shake your head in an attempt to physically dispel the thoughts. You cleared your throat as you set your hand on top of his and allowed him to help you into the boat.

“I’m good, yea.”

He watched you wobble slightly as you took a seat. “You sure?”

You nodded. “Positive.”

He didn’t press it, but you could feel the way that his eyes lingered on you for a little while longer than they normally would. Sure, he handled the news well, probably had a lot to do with all of the bigger fish you and your friends had to fry. But it clearly was still somewhere on his mind. You wanted to be happy about it, but you knew better than to get your hopes up.

“That’s way more than three people,” Dustin called after you all as he rolled his eyes.

Steve held his hands out, feigning helplessness. “Sorry!”

You chuckled quietly at that. You did appreciate that no matter how dire the circumstances got, someone in your little rag-tag group of friends managed to keep their sense of humor about them. It wasn’t always Steve, but it was always someone. It was the only thing that kept all of you from going absolutely insane with everything that was going on.

Eddie and Robin somehow ended up being the ones who were rowing. It was a little comical to watch them, to be honest. But they got the job done. When it was just the group of you out in the center of the lake, there was a moment when you all had to really start talking about what it was that you were going to be doing. If Dustin was right, things could get really messy really fast. But also, none of you could just say that you went all the way out there and then did nothing.

Before anyone could try to come up with a different plan, Steve stood up and started peeling off his clothes. Everyone’s eyes got a little wider, but it was Eddie who finally spoke up. “What’s…what’s going on there?”

“What, any of you have a better plan?” he rattled off all the things that made him the most qualified person to be doing this. No one was really arguing with him at that point, but he was still justifying himself even as Eddie handed him the flashlight wrapped up in a plastic bag.

The minute that he was underwater felt like the longest minute of your life. Everyone was looking at each other, looking at you, but your eyes were trained on the lake in front of you. A few scarce bubbles made it to the surface here and there, but nothing signaling the return of Steve. Each second that went by made your stomach tie into a tighter and tighter knot.

But then he broke the surface. It felt like each deep breath that he was sucking in, you were taking too. He leaned against the side of the boat, arms draped over the side of it. He was trying his best to gush about what he’d seen down there as he fought to catch his breath.

He was halfway through his sentence when he got dragged back underneath the water. Everyone was screaming, scared, unsure of what to do. After a few seconds, though, you and Nancy were both jumping over the side of the boat and diving down after him. Your vision underneath the water wasn’t the best, but you could see enough to see him getting dragged towards the bottom, a slew of bubbles streaming out of him, most likely containing the screams that he was attempting to let out.

For the second time within the same few minutes, your body was acting independently from your mind. Everything in your brain felt like it was short-circuiting as you looked at the place where Steve was being dragged to. The crack running along the bottom of the lake almost looked like it was alive. Your body kept swimming, kept carrying you towards it, but you didn’t even feel yourself doing it.

When you all came crashing down on the other side, all three of you were gasping for air. However, you quickly noticed that Steve was gasping a little harder than either you or Nancy. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull when you saw the way that he was fighting against the bat that had wrapped it’s tail so tightly around his neck.

Both of you were scrambling to your feet and trying to get over to him, not quite knowing how you’d landed so far from him. You were almost to him when Robin and Eddie came crashing down on top of you, sending all of you to the ground in a heap of grunts and groans and cusswords.

You were the first one back on your feet, grabbing the oar on the way as you charged towards Steve. Your heart was pounding inside your chest and it was from more than just the running. You saw the way that he was desperately trying to pull at the bat tail around his neck, and you also saw the way that more bats descended upon him, biting at him to try and stop him. He tried to fight through it, but then you saw another bat wrap its tail around his arm and quickly fly away.

The choked scream that he let out was subdued only because of the way the first bat was crushing his windpipe. Tears were staining your cheeks before you could stop them. But the scream you let out as you smacked at the bats that were descending upon him was cathartic. You were swinging away, trying to get any and all of them off of him. It only took a few more seconds for everyone else to be at your back trying to help you along in the process.

The frantic look in Steve’s eyes nearly took you out. You and Nancy were tag-teaming in an attempt to get the bat off from around Steve’s neck. One she pinned it, you were finally able to drop down to your knees and peel it away. Even before you had freed him completely, he was coughing and sputtering as air finally made it to his lungs.

Once he was finally free, and you had all successfully scared off the rest of the bats, everyone fell back onto their heels a little bit. Steve was still splayed out across the ground, bleeding and trying to catch his breath. Robin and Eddie were tossing their oars aside, chests heaving as they exchanged looks of disbelief. You were still knelt on the ground beside Steve, looking back and forth between him and Nancy, who was looking everyone over to make sure that no one else had taken any serious damage.

You got yourself back up to a standing position, brushing your hands off on your pants once you did, not that it did any good. You were all disgusting at that point. Turning back to Steve, you held your hand out for him to take. He went to reach up with his one arm, but immediately winced and bailed on it, using his other arm to pin it closer to his side.

“Shit,” he cursed, cringing in pain as his eyes shut.

“What happened?” you crouched lower again to be eye-level with him.

“I think those bats dislocated my shoulder.” He tried to move his arm again, only to be punished with another searing shot of pain. He cursed again, immediately regretting the decision.

“I can pop it back in,” you offered before thinking twice about it.

“What?” all three of them spoke simultaneously as they looked at you.

You hesitated for a moment before repeating yourself. “I…I can put your shoulder back in place.”

“You know how to do that?” Eddie asked, shocked.

“…yes?”

Steve’s eyes searched yours for a few moments, trying to gauge how much confidence you had in what you were saying. When your eye contact didn’t waver, he gave in with a nod. “Okay, alright, yea. Can’t get any worse, right?”

You let out a tired chuckle. “Let’s not jinx it.” You reached forward, gently feeling out his arm and shoulder. You felt bad that it was causing him pain, but you also knew that it was going to get worse before it got better. You waited for him to look at you again. “It’s gonna hurt like a bitch, you know.”

He exhaled sharply, “Because everything else has felt great so far.”

You smiled weakly. “That’s true.” Pausing, you got both him and yourself situated so that you could get him back into place. “Ready?”

He nodded, jaw clenched tight in anticipation. “Let’s get it over with.”

You popped his shoulder back into place with relative ease, although judging by the look on his face and the sound of pain he let out, no one else ever would’ve thought that. Eddie, Nancy, and Robin were all cringing and trying to look away but not quite being able to. They didn’t want to look at Steve while he was in that much pain but there were also all so curious about what you were doing. Of all the problems they’d ever had to solve, that hadn’t been one of them.

After giving him a few minutes to catch his breath and recover from the jolt of having his shoulder put back in place, Steve finally got to his feet and you all set off together, off to figure out what was next for any of you.

The whole crew of you were deep in the woods now. Eddie and Robin were wandering far ahead, and even though Nancy was walking with them and giving you and Steve a few minutes together, every now and then she’d still turn and look over her shoulder at the two of you. You didn’t quite know what the look on her face meant, but you could venture a guess.

Like he was reading your mind, Steve said, “It’s not what you think.”

“Hm?” Confusion was all over your face.

He kept his voice somewhat quiet as he spoke. “Me and Nancy. It’s…it’s not whatever you think it is.”

“What do I think it is?”

“I don’t love her.” His brows furrowed as he realized how harsh that sounded. “Not like that,” he clarified. “She’s one of my best friends. We’ve almost died together on numerous occasions,” he chuckled half-heartedly, “but it’s not like what it…what it used to be.”

“Oh.” You didn’t know what else to say.

“I didn’t really know what to say to you yesterday,” he confessed, not quite able to look you in the eye. “I wasn’t expecting it. And with so much going on I just—”

“I get it,” you cut him off, not wanting to force either of you through him gently trying to reject you, “it’s not a priority. You don’t have to—”

“Wait,” he chuckled, “let me finish what I was saying.” He paused, and when you didn’t say anything, he continued, “I wasn’t expecting it because of all the Eddie-Vecna-Max stuff that we’ve been dealing with. My brain didn’t even really catch up until it was too late. And by then you’d already, you know, you’d already brought up the Nancy stuff and it was too late to correct you. Honestly thought it might be a little tone-deaf to correct you at that point because we were trying to come up with ways to make sure that none of us die.”

You had to laugh at that. “Yea, that…that makes sense.”

“And for what it’s worth, if I thought you were great before, that battle cry you let out earlier really sealed the deal.”

You rolled your eyes but you felt your cheeks getting hot. “Shut up. You were dying.”

“It was still pretty cool,” he said in a sing-songy tone.

“I’ll pop that shoulder right back out again, you know,” you joked.

“Oh, trust me, we are going to be talking about that when this is all over.” He smiled over at you, but you saw it soften a bit after a moment.

“When this is all over?”

“Yea,” he nodded, “can’t stay in the Upside Down forever, right?”

You sucked in a deep breath, “Let’s hope not.”

His gaze dropped down to the ground. “And, when all of this is over…I was wondering if maybe I could take you out sometime?”

Your heart fluttered inside your chest, a tiny ray of light in the midst of all the darkness that you’d all been drowning in lately. “I’d…I’d like that. Yea. You know,” you laughed half-heartedly, “if there’s still an out to go to after all of this.”

“We could always come back down here,” he bumped his good shoulder against your own.

“You just wanna hear me lose my shit again, don’t you?”

He smiled at you. “Little bit, yea.”

“Well,” you slipped your hand into his, “let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Yea,” he squeezed your hand, “let’s hope.”

#whumptober2022 #no.13 #dislocation #stranger things #fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #steve harrington #steve harrignton x reader #steve harrington x you #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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shoutogepi · 4 years ago

Text

Worth the Wait

Todoroki Shouto

word count : 9.2k

[ ☁︎, ☀︎, ✘ (nsfw 18+) ] (v lowkey angst//fluff)

themes : virgin!Shouto, experienced!reader (well, more than Sho anyway lol), praise kink?, lil baby couples quarrel, make up sex, and also he’s kinda hung lmfao idk if that’s relevant 💀

bio : You can’t help but notice that every time things start to heat up with your Pro-Hero boyfriend, he shuts you down. After politely ignoring his initial rejections, your frustrations build up, and you decide to confront him.

author’s note : so this fic was inspired by a conversation with the lovely astrid ( @todoscript ), who is becoming my cherished shouto confidante! we didn’t talk about it for very long, and it was awhile ago... but my brain would not move on so… this happened. i figured if i’m going to type so much about him i may as well write a fic. thanks for listening to my constant yelling, hope you enjoiii <3

side note : both shouto and reader are meant to be young adults in this fic!! i was thinking somewhere around 25-30 (i didn’t specify the age in the fic) but i thought i would make note of this as that’s considered “old” to still have your v-card, by American society at least (hence why sho kept that info from reader)

─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🅃he first time it happened, you tried to play it off as if you hadn’t made a move.

The last few of your friends had finally departed from the Saturday game night you had thrown, leaving just you, Shouto, and the slow, hot tango of your tongues. You hadn’t seen each other all week— with him being busy with his hero work, and you being busy with your comparatively-mundane job, you didn’t get to spend as much time together as you would have liked. Although it was an obstacle for your relationship, you were both young adults as well as devoted professionals, which allowed the two of you to remain on the same page most of the time. It was typical for you to text and call one another for a few hours after work (granted you both had the time to spare) before passing out mid-conversation, your phone screen still lit up and gentle snores exchanged through the speakers. But like any sane girlfriend, having him in person, right in front of you, was always your favorite.

What had started as a peck had quickly evolved into a full on make-out session— Shouto had pulled you halfway onto his lap when you tried to move back from your initially-stealthy kiss, an appreciative hum rumbling through him as his large hands cupped around your face. You didn’t fight him as he brought your lips back to his, and you failed to stop him when those very same hands began to glide down your back, parking just above your ass. His fingers had gradually started to fiddle with the tops of your jeans, thumb running over the denim and dipping down to graze against your skin through your thin blouse.

Yet when your hands slipped underneath the bottom of his shirt, he pulled back from you, heterochromatic eyes guarded as he removed your hands. You had immediately picked up on his reluctance, and threw yourself off of him onto the other side of the couch, embarrassment scorching the back of your neck. Shouto left not long after that, for you had made up some lousy excuse that you were tired and would like to go to sleep, when sleep was really the opposite of your innermost desires.

This would have been all fine and good— because consent was consent after all, and you had no intentions of pushing him to do something he was uncomfortable with— had the same thing not happened just two weeks later. There you were thinking it would be a cute, coupley evening of watching movies and tossing popcorn at each other, resting your head against his shoulder and being content with just that— when then all of the sudden he was pinning you onto the sheets and kissing you til you couldn’t breathe. His hands, once again, wandered all over your clothed torso, palms mapping out each dip and curve as his tongue entertained yours in your mouth.

You were hesitant to kiss him at first, recalling how you had horrifically killed the mood last time, but as his advances became more passionate, you slowly allowed your defenses to slip back, excitement building inside of you. It was only when your legs tightened around his waist, your core brushing up along his thigh and causing you to let out the softest moan did he pull back. That same calm, cool expression was on his face, though his eyes were a bit wider than usual. There was also the tiniest hint of pink dusting his pale cheeks, his lips parted as he gathered himself. It was rather awkward after that— neither of you really knew what to say— so you crawled back to your spot and sat in silence for the rest of the movie, your hands eventually wandering out to hold onto each other. After sharing a soft kiss and exchanging “goodnight”s, you returned to your place, ready for an extra long appointment with your vibrator.

Unfortunately for you, this became a common occurrence. It wasn’t that you hated the steamy make-out sessions with your as-hot-as-they-come boyfriend, no— you thoroughly enjoyed them. The part that you absolutely loathed was returning to your place with your panties soaked all the way through, your sexual frustration meter only climbing higher and higher.

You loved your boyfriend! And of course you respected his wishes. You would wait for however long he wanted, because you wanted your first time together to be special. But fuck, did he have to heat you up just to leave you hanging every time? If he wanted to wait, then fine! But, God, what had you done to deserve this torture? You couldn’t get past first base— you’d never even rubbed your body erotically against his except for that time on his bed, and that was by accident!

And that was what you told the ladies during your Thursday night all-girl conference call, finally needing to vent and get this selfish feeling off your chest. It had been a long time coming, quietly brewing over the many instances of him stunting your advances that you came to a realization.

Enough was enough! You were going to ask him why he wouldn’t go any further with you, and whatever his answer may be, at least you would know what he was thinking! You felt like a weight had been lifted off of you, the girls cheering you on and wishing you luck as you said goodbye, ready to confront him.

— - — - — - — - —

Now that you’re standing here in front of his door, it seems like a foolish plan you’ve made. Your heart is beating out of your chest, thumping frantically against your ribcage as your fist is frozen in the air, knuckle about to connect with the door. Your stomach feels tight and low, throat dry with apprehension as your brain runs through every possible outcome. What would he say once you ask him your question?

Perhaps your breath stinks and it turns him off? Or maybe he doesn’t like the perfume you wear— or is it the way you dress that he doesn’t like? What if the reason he always stops you… is because he’s not sexually attracted to you?

Now that you think about it, you’ve never seen him pop a boner during your tongue wrestling matches, and the realization nearly causes your soul to leave your body. Even though the thought horrifies you, you try your best to reassure yourself that’s not the case. You had caught Shouto checking you out on multiple occasions, his eyes igniting a delicious heat on your skin. Whatever the case, you’re in this too deep to chicken out now. So with that, you let your knuckles rap on the door, steeling your nerves.

There’s a moment of quiet shuffling before your boyfriend opens the door, a pleasantly surprised smile on his face. His hair is wet and freshly washed, shining droplets collecting at the ends and making him appear even more handsome than usual. The gray tee thrown over his broad shoulders has damp spots from the runoff, and you take a second to admire the way his chest looks in the clingy material. “Hey, love,” he says, his voice alone causing goosebumps to rise along your forearms.

You allow him to guide you into his apartment, the door clicking shut behind him quietly. “Hi Sho,” you greet back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning up to kiss him.

Shouto chuckles against your eager lips, long arms gathering you into his chest. When he pulls away, he tucks your head underneath his chin, placing another kiss on your crown. “I missed you.”

Your heart throbs, happiness surging through you and butterflies bursting into your stomach. “I missed you more,” you reply playfully, burying your face between his broad pecs and inhaling his warm, wintery scent. The smell of fresh detergent lingers on the fabric, mixing with his clean aroma and making your tummy flip in circles.

“Impossible,” Shouto quips back, holding your waist tight as he dips you backwards just enough for your feet to leave the ground before he presses his lips to yours again, rendering you breathless. He pulls you back upright after a moment, a cheeky smirk on his face as you try to remember what you were talking about before. “Come in, sit down. I was just finishing up some work, I’ll get you something to drink.”

Following his instruction, you move further into his apartment, gravitating toward the couch and inspecting the files laid out on the coffee table before you. The words blur together for you, the foreign hero work forms long and in what might as well be another language. You lean back onto the cushions as Shouto returns, a glass of water in his hand. Frost forms on the glass as he hands it to you, taking a seat beside you with his knee brushing against yours. You smile at his consideration, taking a small sip even though you’re not really thirsty.

“Was there something you came over here for specifically, love? Forgive me if I’ve forgotten, but I don’t believe we had plans?” He’s looking directly at you, eyes locked with yours as his hand comes to land on the top of your knee. Even just an innocent movement like that has you on alert, your breath catching in your throat as he gives a gentle squeeze.

“Uh… no reason,” you answer lamely, crumbling under the pressure of his watchful eyes. “Just wanted to see you.”

Shouto’s gaze lingers on you carefully, and for a second you feel like you’ve been caught in a trap. But he lets it go, his lips forming a soft smile as he lays his arm around your shoulders. “Well, I’m glad to see you too,” he replies honestly. His fingers caress your arm as his hand falls down to your waist, and he leans in to press another kiss to your cheek. You lean into his affection, mouth curving in content. “So, what would you like to do?” Shouto asks as he shuffles the files away into their manilla envelopes, creating a neat pile in the far corner of the table. He leans back into the cushions, fingers fondly stroking at your side. “We could go out to eat? We could try this new bar afterwards, too, it’s across from my agency. If you’re alright to go out.”

You can’t focus on his words, really— you’re too lost in your own thoughts. Why does he have to touch you like this every time, when if you act on it, he’ll only push you away? You’ve been together for a long while now, and still, he doesn’t take initiative to further your relationship. Every bone you’ve thrown his way has been perfectly deflected, with no sign of weariness from him. If he doesn’t want you, is it because he’s not into you anymore?

An ugly thought rears its head in the midst of your anxiety’s dark clouds.

Maybe he never was.

Taking your silence as an answer, Shouto continues on, looking towards the kitchen over his shoulder. “Or we could buy groceries and make dinner. I think I have bok choy in the fridge, but we’ll have to buy some meat. And noodles, if you want those instead of rice. I’m sure I have that sesame sauce you like, I—” He pauses as you grab his hand, your fingers looping tight around his warm palm, sliding them to rest on your thigh.

With the summer just fading into fall, you were wearing something to showcase the smooth expanse of your thighs, and as you guide his hand to touch your soft skin, a delicate blush blooms across Shouto’s cheeks. The flustered expression on his face only goads you on, and you lean in to capture his lips.

A muffled noise escapes him, your hand coming up to touch his jaw and rub your thumb against his chin. It only takes him a moment to recalibrate before his free hand rises and copies your actions, gliding down the back of your neck before pulling your face closer to his.

You run your tongue against the seam of his mouth, and he swiftly grants you access as his lips move to follow yours. He tastes like mint and sweet herbs, the tea he was entertaining before you came lingering on his tongue. His hand slips out of yours to curl around your waist, grabbing onto your hip and squeezing. As your kisses start getting heavier and slower, your once-occupied hand moves to land on his chest, your thumb pushing into the tender muscle located there. His flesh jumps beneath your touch, but he allows you to continue groping at him through his shirt, his own hands beginning to knead at you. Before you know it, your knee swings over his thighs and you’re hovering on top of his lap, not sitting down on him just yet as you realize the position you’ve put yourself in.

You can notice the change— you’ve faced this exact scenario many times before. Shouto’s hands freeze up, locking into their current position, and he only returns your passionate kisses, not allowing his body much more movement than that. You try to just keep kissing him, but all the doubts and fears quickly pile up inside of you, and you pull away from him. You can’t even look at him. You’re too scared to speak, and too reluctant to get off of him, only leaning back to create a divide between his face and yours. Trying to hide your face before he can see your defeated expression, you dive into his chest, arms folding tight around his neck.

Shouto’s still frozen in place, but he seems to sense your distress. His arms slowly circle around your waist, fingers moving to trace up and down your spine. He softly exhales against your hair, letting out the breath he was holding in ever since you swung onto his lap. “Y/N? Are you alright?” he asks quietly after a brief pause, his voice soft and low, soothing to your wary ears. “You haven’t been acting like yourself today…”

After a long pause, you sigh, trying your best not to get emotional. “It’s just…” I’m so fucking attracted to you but you won’t let me touch you, you want to say, but you’re too terrified to say it aloud. What can you even say to him that would be better than that?

Shouto’s arms around you squeeze gently, indicating his patience in awaiting your answer. “It’s okay,” he murmurs, his lips grazing over your ear and placing a discreet kiss there. “Whatever it is, we can face it together.”

You let out a soft sniffle and Shouto pulls you tighter into his chest, his heart cracking at your sound of sadness. But his words bring a surprising amount of comfort to you, and you clear your throat before you lean back again, looking into his two-toned irises. His gaze is sympathetic, his eyes holding a visible amount of affection and support. “Well, I…”

He nods slightly, leaning forward to show his encouragement. “Go ahead, love…”

“Are… Are you attracted to me?”

It comes out more high-pitched than you would’ve liked, but at least it’s out— and he definitely heard you, judging from the wide-eyed shock painted across his face.

��Am I— What?” He stutters, his head tilting automatically in confusion. “I— of course I’m attracted to you, I’m… you’re my girlfriend.” Shouto looks at you incredulously, his arms falling to his side so that only his hands remain on your hips. “You’re the most attractive person I know, love. You’re gorgeous, inside and out,” he elaborates. “The whole package.”

His compliments butter you up, a small smile forming on your lips as you shyly look to your hands folded in your lap. “Not the whole package…” you mumble, squirming slightly as his hands come to hold either side of your face.

“Yes, the whole package,” he insists, nuzzling your nose against his. “Beautiful,” he declares as he kisses your cheek.

“Kind.” A smooch to the other cheek.

Your heart beats excitedly in your chest, thumping loudly against your ribs with each compliment.

“Courageous.” A kiss to the chin.

“Witty.” A peck to the forehead.

“Sexy?” you blurt it out just as he swoops in to press his lips to yours.

Shouto falters, pulling back just a hair as he looks at you in shock. “S-Sexy?” He doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but by the way his cheeks and ears are tinged a bright pink, it’s clear your suggestion was a bit too much for him.

The way he stutters out the adjective in confusion has your heart tearing in two. “Y-You don’t…?”

You’re staring directly at him, his wide eyes locked with yours and his body frozen to the couch. His lips are slightly parted, but no words come out of him.

Silence.

This is not how you want this conversation to go— you aren’t prepared for it to go like this. The tears you had successfully fought off before come back with vengeance.

Only once Shouto sees you hang your head in embarrassment, your eyes getting glassier by the second, he springs into action. “Hey, no, that’s not…” he starts to speak, sounding more worried by the second. His hand goes to cup your face, the warmth of his quirk evident in his touch as his finger dries over a fresh track of tears on your cheek. “I… of course I think you’re sexy, love. I’m sorry, you just caught me by surprise… You don’t think I know how sexy you are?”

You can only reply with a lame shrug, unwilling to let his eyes meet yours as you hide your face behind your curtain of hair. You try to slide off his lap, ready to retreat to the bathroom and wipe away your pathetic tears, but Shouto doesn’t let you move away from him, his arms locking tight around your waist and forcing you to lean against his chest.

“Talk to me, baby,” he pleads, nuzzling into the side of your face. His voice is more gentle than you’ve ever heard before, and you hate to admit your stomach is doing cartwheels at how sweet he’s being. “I love you no matter what, and I hate to see you so upset. I’m not good at figuring these things out on my own, just tell me what’s wrong, love. Please?”

He gives you a few moments to gather yourself, his fingers massaging your stiff muscles as you cling onto him. Once you’re confident enough to speak, your words come out barely loud enough for him to hear. “It’s just that… whenever I think we’re about to take it to the next level, you pull away. I want to respect your boundaries, Sho, but I can’t help but feel like it’s because you don’t… want me.” The hands on your body still at that, your boyfriend taking in a sharp breath as you pause, then decide to continue. “I’m just… so attracted to you, Shouto… I want to be mindful of your limits, but I can’t help but want to touch you all the time. I’m— I’m sorry if that sounds indecent.”

Shouto murmurs your name lowly against your ear, his large palm once again rubbing over your spine in an effort to comfort you as he tries to piece together the correct words. “This is… a terrible miscommunication, and it’s all my fault...” he sighs, his voice dropping lower and becoming quieter, his insecurities leaking into his voice. “I’m so sorry to have made you feel like this… I promise that’s not the case.”

His words are enough to numb your worries, and you lean back so you’re able to look him in the eye as you wait for him to continue. He takes a deep breath before he sighs again, knowing he has to tell you the truth now, but worrying that he’s about to ruin everything the two of you have built over these past months.

“The reason that I push you away every time is… well, I—” he gulps nervously, and it’s your turn to look at him with encouragement. You take one of his hands in yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles as he tries to find the best way to explain his reasoning. “It’s not because you’re unattractive, it’s— I mean, if anything, you’re too… too attractive, and I get…” he trails off, his cheeks now a bright shade of pink that you’ve never really seen before. It’s the first time you’ve seen the usually collected man so flustered, and a part of you feels guilty for causing him such discomfort. Just as you’re about to cut in and tell him he doesn’t have to continue, he does. “I… I’ve never been with anyone… like that before.”

You blink at him in confusion.

Shouto just seems to get even pinker, and he quickly starts explaining himself as he takes in your dazed expression. “I know you probably thought I had all this experience because I’ve been a top Hero for some time now, but I just— I never met anyone before that cared about me like this and I just never wanted to do— well, to do that with a stranger.”

“You’re… a virgin?”

Shouto’s red at this point, his hot side nearly catching fire as he buries his face behind his hand, too embarrassed to face you at this point. “Yes, I’m sorry to disappoint you, love. I just… I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and I— I wanted to impress you so badly, Y/N. I… I should’ve told you this from the start, I’m so sorry to have caused you such doubt.”

His voice is just above a whisper now, his fingers clutching onto the fabric of your shirt as if he’s afraid you’ll get off his lap and walk straight out the front door at his confession. “Shouto…” You can’t stop the smile that begins to curl the corners of your mouth. This is the reason he wouldn’t go any further with you? Not because he didn’t find you attractive? Your heart feels heavy thumping against your ribcage, giddiness flooding your bloodstream.

Your boyfriend gapes at your smile, brows furrowed in confusion. “Wait, you’re not… disappointed?” At the instant shake of your head, his discomfort eases significantly. “R-Really? But everyone thinks I’m, well… kind of a womanizer I guess, I thought you’d at least expect—”

You click your tongue at him, shaking your head as you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. “When have I ever given a shit about others’ expectations of you, Shouto? I love you for you, Sho… you make me so happy just as you are.”

Shouto melts at your words, a sigh of relief escaping his lungs as he crushes you to his chest. Your sweet scent fills his nose as he kisses the top of your head, and you bask in his touch as you hug him back. “You’re right, love, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner… I hate that you felt unwanted because of me. I promise, you’re the only one I’ve ever felt this way about, I— I’m so attracted to you as well. I love you so much.”

Your lips meet his in a passionate kiss, all the hurt and doubts that built over the last few months dissolving into the shadows. Only the light, warm feeling of your love is left behind, glowing brighter than ever before.

Shouto’s fingers crawl up the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to his as he deepens the kiss, his tongue sweeping across your lips before you allow him entrance. Your fingers push into his silky hair, nails gently scratching at his scalp and he groans at the action, letting your tongue take control and invade his mouth instead. Your breaths starting to become ragged, you both pull away for a moment to breathe. As you look into each others’ eyes, you both begin to laugh softly, the pair of you equally content with how your heart-to-heart had gone.

“So, you do think I’m sexy, then?” You smirk, pleased with this new knowledge.

Shouto chuckles, nudging your face to the side so he can place a trail of kisses down the column of your throat. “Is that all you got from that?” He teases, nipping at your skin playfully.

You close your eyes, enjoying how his love bites feel on your quickly-heating flesh. “One of a few things…” Your breathing becomes deeper as his lips begin to gently suck on the faded marks he’d just made. “Mmm, Sho~”

He hums as your arms wrap tight around his shoulders, tongue caressing the skin he’s sucked into his mouth. Your thighs twitch on either side of his lap when he pulls away, cold breath cooling the wet, darkened patch of skin on your throat. He swears under his breath as his hands trail down your waist to your hips, thumbs resting on the top of your bottoms.

“Would you, um… want to try something new, then?” You offer, sitting back to look him in the eye, ready to catch any amount of uncertainty in his two-toned gaze. But you find none, for he captures your lips again and nibbles on your bottom lip, another hum or approval vibrating against your mouth.

From there he hands the reins to you, opting to lean back into the cushions of the sofa as your tongue guides his in a slow embrace. Your palms both land on his chest, fingertips starting to massage the thick muscles underneath his t-shirt. Shouto sighs as your hands slide down his torso, and just as they dip underneath he sits up slightly, tearing the flimsy material over his head in one quick sweep. With the fabric out of your way, you try to keep yourself calm, your eyes now feasting on his broad, sculpted chest and abs. Saliva begins to pool in your mouth at the wonderful sight, your tongue poking out to wet your lips as you scan over his physique again and again.

Just as he’s about to make fun of your lustful stare, you move in to place a few light kisses to his jaw and neck, the action making him tense up and flex his gorgeous torso for you. Careful not to leave any marks on his throat, you make your way down his chest, taking a moment to leave a ring of wet smooches around his nipple. The muscles jump again for you, his body sensitive to your foreign touch as you slowly take the bud into your mouth, sucking just enough for him to squirm.

“That kind of… ahh, tickles,” Shouto mumbles as your tongue traces over his skin, his bottom lip between his teeth as you move to the other side of his chest and repeat the action. He sighs as you pull away, welcoming the kiss you place on his lips afterwards. His abs become rigid underneath the slow trail of your fingernails that move south, his eyes opening mid-way through the kiss as your hand grows closer and closer to his pelvis.

Just as he’s about to pull away, you move back from his mouth, your shirt flying over your head and onto the floor behind you. Shouto can barely breathe as he looks at your bare skin, the smooth expanse of your shoulders to your hips on display for him, save for the bra covering your chest. He’s fixated on the tops of your breasts, the round, smooth flesh mesmerizing him completely. Sure, he’s seen your cleavage before, but in comparison to this, that’s nothing.

“W-Wow…” he falters, struggling to tear his gaze off of them. There’s a little bow in the middle of the cloth contraption, and he can’t help but compare the sight before him to a present. Oh, how he wants to unwrap it…

You giggle at his awe-struck expression, your self-esteem soaring higher than it has in months. Just as you’re about to instruct him, he moves a hand to cup one side of your bra, his thumb running over your skin. A whimper escapes you when he squeezes you, his face moving closer so that the tip of his nose runs across your collarbone, his lips ghosting kisses across your chest. You wonder if he can feel your heart racing beneath his lips as they trace the cusp of your bra— how it races when he presses his face between your tits, inhaling the warm, clean smell of you that lingers there. “M-Mphhh, Sho…” you sigh as he sucks a hickey into your skin, his mouth pulling your flesh out from under the fabric cup.

Your hands fumble as they move behind your back to undo the clasp, but Shouto doesn’t have time for that, it seems. Instead, he opts to push the straps from your shoulders, tugging the bottom of the material down your ribs and completely exposing your chest to him without ever moving his mouth from your skin. You still manage to unclasp the confining material, letting it fall to the ground without a care. When he does finally let go of you, he moves back to examine your naked chest, his lower lip disappearing between his straight, white teeth. His eyes are half-lidded, and he dives straight back into your chest, circling around your areola with swift kisses and teasing licks, repeating the same process you had done to him. His warm mouth enveloping your nipple makes you let out a stifled cry, your hips jerking against his lap on their own accord.

Shouto moans at the movement, his hand gently squeezing your other breast as he sucks on the pert bud in his mouth, tongue swirling around it with ease. You reposition so your legs are on either side of one of his, placing your clothed core against the rough material of his jeans and beginning to move your hips in slow, wide movements. It only urges Shouto on, for he switches his attention to the other side of his chest and repeats the same ministrations there, one hand coming to cup your ass and move in tune with your slow gyrations.

At this point you can feel yourself leaking onto your panties, your excitement only multiplying as he allows you to grind against him. You’d never imagined he’d be so eager to touch you, after so much time of him rejecting your advances. But you couldn’t care about that now, with your pussy brushing all over his muscular thigh and his mouth attacking your bare chest. The thrill only increases further when you readjust your hips, moving closer to him and feeling the hardness of his erect cock tucked into the front of his pants. You can feel your cunt twitching around nothing, drooling even more for him as you rub yourself against his front, your head falling back as you start to pant.

Shouto whines at the friction, his face falling into the corner of your neck as he tries to gather himself. Was this what he had been missing out on all this time? He sighs as he wonders what you look like completely naked— how you would look with your legs spread for him, wrapped around his skull, or better yet— his waist. The knowledge that you want him is too tempting— he can’t get enough of you, can’t stop himself from shoving his thumbs under the hem of your bottoms. And then you’re standing, letting your clothing hit the floor and leaving yourself exposed for his eyes, save for your panties which have another little bow at the front. His eyes travel up and down your legs— a part of you that has always attracted him, perhaps a bit too much. They look delicious presented like this before him, bare and inviting all along your calves and thighs, then leading to the panties that barely cover your hips. His cock twitches in his jeans as he inspects the marks he’d just made all across your chest, a possessive conscience inside of him murmuring its satisfaction.

“Is this okay?” You ask as you sink to your knees in front of the couch, looking up at him with cautious, yet lust-ridden eyes. The recognition of your desire makes his own appetite spike, and he nods his affirmation to you.

You smirk up at him, moving closer to him and sliding between his legs. He holds his breath as you start to kiss up his thigh, starting from the inside of his knee and moving your way toward your destination. Your hand reaches up to soothe down his chest, your other hand cupping the underside of his thigh and moving in sync with your mouth. Your fingers finally meet the button on his jeans, and he lets out the breath he was holding as you undo the metal zipper. He helps you peel the denim off his thighs, leaving the material bunched at his knees as you inspect his hard member through his tight, black boxer-briefs. You take a moment to thank whatever God there is for blessing you with such a nice cock; you can tell even through his underwear that he’s long, and thick.

The very tip pokes out of the band at the top, him having tucked it up at some point when the pair of you were initially making out. What you can see is dark pink and glazed with a pearlescent sheen of pre-cum, the material at the top of his briefs slightly damp. The legs on either side of you keep tensing and fidgeting, and as you reach a hand for his shaft his hips shift backwards, away from your touch.

“Hey,” you murmur softly, stroking his thigh as you look up at him. His expression is guarded, but you can see the uncertainty that shines through his gaze, the mask that successfully keeps others out futile to you. “Are you sure you want to continue? It’s okay if we stop here, baby.” You push yourself to sit taller using the tops of his knees, placing a long kiss to his cheek and giving him a nuzzle of understanding.

Shouto frowns, leaning into you and taking a deep breath. “No, I want to… I just, I guess I’m a little nervous? I’m not quite sure what to do…” he explains, unsure of himself.

“You don’t have to do anything,” you reply, kissing his cheek again as you continue. “Just sit back and relax, baby. I promise I’m gonna take care of you, gonna make you feel so good. Let me know if you want to stop at any time, alright?”

He smiles at your understanding, nodding and verbalizing an “Alright” before you capture his lips with yours. You kiss him with all the passion you can muster, and it distracts him enough to relax into the couch cushions, your hand coming up to cup his sharp jawline. Your tongues are busy tangling together when your hand lands on his abs, which jump under your touch but eventually they, too, relax after a few minutes.

When your fingers wrap around his cock through his briefs, he tenses underneath you again, his hips pushing toward you as your hand starts to move up and down. Shouto makes a muffled noise as your hand finds a steady, torturously slow rhythm, your hand squeezing around his thick shaft through the dark, cotton material. His hand comes up to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of your neck and pulling slightly. You move your hand in accordance with the muffled sounds that escape him through your kiss, his hushed moans adding fuel to the inferno in your stomach.

After a few minutes of your slow, over-the-briefs handjob, you move back from his searing kiss, a string of saliva extending between your mouths. Your eyes lock with his, intensity sizzling as you both move the briefs off his legs, his cock springing upright in the bottom field of your vision. His length jumps when your fingers brush against the tip, gathering the silvery slickness of his pre-cum and using it to coast your fist down around his shaft, squeezing just enough to create a pleasant tightness around him.

Shouto swears as you start to jerk your fist around his thickness, your smaller hand creating a different sensation and much more appealing visual than the sight of his own fingers wrapped around himself. He moans when your hand glides over the head of his cock, his grip tightening on your hair as his eyelids flutter closed. You kiss his cheek again, catching his attention as he turns to you and allows your tongue to enter his mouth. You take all the whimpers pouring from his lips and greedily swallow them, your lips dancing with his in tune with your strokes.

Slowly you move away from his face, his lips following yours until you gently push him back to rest against the back of the sofa again. He allows you to move him backwards, heaving for air as your hot and heavy kisses leave him breathless. Once you lower your face to his lap, he tenses up, although his hips shuffle forward eagerly. You make sure to lock eyes with him as you move your mouth towards the flushed head of his cock, and you keep his gaze steady as your lips wrap around the very tip of him.

“S-Shit Y/N,” he gasps, watching as his member gradually disappears into your mouth. You glide your lips down his thick length slowly, trying not to overwhelm him as you start to suck on the tip, your hand beginning to jerk his shaft at the same time. When your lips move down, so does your hand, and as Shouto becomes accustomed to the wet, tight heat of your mouth, you slowly take more and more of him into your mouth, until the head of his cock brushes the back of your throat. Shouto throws his head back onto the top of the cushions, a hand pushing his hair off his forehead and backwards as he loudly voices his pleasure in a cacophony of moans.

The noises that slither out of the man underneath you are delicious, and you can’t seem to get enough as your pace begins to pick up. Your hand is still wrapped around the base of his length, his cock too big to fit all the way in your throat, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to take him anyways. Pulling back just long enough to take in a breath of fresh air, you smile at his wrecked expression above you, tongue tracing over your lips. “Mmm, does that feel good, baby? Do you like when I suck your cock like this?”

“Ahhaaaa, fuck— y-yeah, like that, baby… yesyesyes you feel so good,” Shouto blabbers nearly incoherently as your throat glides around his aching member. Given his stuttered response, you happily service him, content to finally have him at your disposal. His length is too impressive to comfortably fit in your mouth, your jaw stretching to accommodate him as you swallow around him, successfully stealing a broken gasp from him in response. You close your eyes and allow yourself to focus on keeping a steady rhythm for both your mouth and hand to follow. His moans just keep getting louder, a breathless array of oh, fuck, shit, yeah, ahh, and yeses with every bob of your head.

As you’re diligently sucking him off, Shouto is barely keeping it together underneath you. His cock is twitching and leaking pre-cum down your throat, his balls heavy with the need to release. He watches your lips move up and down his length, your hand following suit at the very base. His mind wanders as he wonders where you want him to finish; inside your mouth, on your tits, on your face? He groans as he pictures all three, imagining you covered in his sticky seed, wherever it may end up, has him feeling close much too quick. But he can’t stop himself, and he can’t bring himself to stop you, either— you feel so fucking good on his cock. You’re better than he ever could imagine, and it’s just your mouth that’s wrapped around him— he can’t even imagine how between your legs will feel. He barely manages to mumble your name in warning as he feels his climax coming, too charged for him to do anything to stop it.

Luckily you already know he’s about to finish, for his muscles tighten up and strain as ample warning for his imminent release. You move your lips down his cock, taking in as much as you can before he’s calling out your name and shooting a thick, heavy load down your throat. You choke on his release, not much room in your mouth to begin with, with how long and thick he is already. He’s still gushing cum as you pull off of him, a few ropes of white spraying across your lips and chin while his body shakes in ecstasy.

You sit back and wipe his release off your face with your wet hand, licking the excess off your skin as you watch Shouto’s soul return to his body. He’s struggling to catch his breath, eyes barely open as he looks down at you sitting between his legs. Despite the heaviness in his limbs, he still gathers your arms in his hands, pulling you up onto the sofa to hover over his lap. He sighs as he nuzzles his face into your neck, your soft skin helping to draw him back from the euphoric heaven you had just sent him to. His arms wrapping around you loosely, he starts to kiss your neck, his long eyelashes tickling your jaw as he showers your skin in affection. His attention makes butterflies flap around inside your stomach, and that scorching heat ignites again as his fingers slide down your waist to the band of your panties.

You try to draw back to look at him, but Shouto’s grip on you is too secure, and he won’t let you pull away from him as he just nuzzles deeper into your neck. You can’t help but gasp when his fingers dive underneath the sides of your panties— his palms gliding against your bare hips and digits splaying across your ass. “S-Sho,” you whine as he cups your ass cheeks, pulling your hips to slot above his, his cock already erect again. You whimper when he guides you closer to him, the very tip of his cock catching at just the right angle to brush against the wet patch on your underwear. Hell, the whole underside of your panties is soaked with your arousal, your pussy probably more saturated than ever before. You’re so turned on, you can’t think straight as your hips begin to weakly shift back and forth, rubbing his cockhead along your clothed slit.

Shouto sighs as his hand recedes from your panties, instead moving to rub your dripping slit through the drenched material. You moan at the feeling of his hand through the fabric, your slick in such quantity that when he pulls his hand away, a thick string of your arousal trails after his fingers. He groans at the sight, rubbing his thumb and forefinger together to test the viscosity. He makes a mental note that this must be what’s meant when one has a “wap”, or “wet ass pussy”, as he recalls from a certain song. His heart is racing in his chest, the discovery of your cunt so ready for him only making his cock strain harder against your sopping panties.

“So wet…” Shouto mumbles as he touches you again, cupping your core through your underwear and rubbing his palm against your clit. He watches intently as your face contorts in pleasure, and he rolls his palm against your front again experimentally, making a mental note of your increased sensitivity there.

Before he moves any further though, he presses his lips to yours in an intense kiss, successfully distracting you as he slides your underwear to the side. He can feel your pussy twitch and contract against his hand when he lines the tips of two fingers up with the hole that your slick is pouring out of. And he can definitely feel you spasm around him as he slides the digits inside with ease, remembering to curl the tips of them just as the countless guides and videos he had watched in preparation for such activities suggested.

“Y-Yes, ahh my God, Sho—” you gasp at the intrusion, your walls fluttering around the fingers.

His long digits slowly move in and out of you, the tips curling into your spongy walls as they sheath inside you completely. You moan at the sensation of his fingers inside of you, moving a hand to your front to rub your clit. It’s not long before you’re humping his hand, your arousal leaking onto his palm as you seat your hips back and forth on his fingers. Your mouth is hanging open, intense pleasure emanating from his fingertips rubbing that gummy spot located just deep enough for your fingers to be too short to reach. You can feel your orgasm building with each roll of the hips, a slow and steady escalation toward certain ecstasy.

Shouto moans along with you, watching the look of bliss on your face each time you sit back onto his fingers, and committing it to memory. You look absolutely captivating getting off on his hand, but the urge to feel you wrapped around his cock is too strong to ignore. He pulls his hand out of your cunt, watching as the syrupy slick trails after his fingers before severing, the warm, slimy wetness returning to your spread pussy. The sight is too enticing to just look at— he grabs his cock and jerks himself a few times, watching your slick spread across his length. It feels unlike any other lubricant he’s used— spit, lotion, shampoo all nothing in comparison to the sweet nectar your body produces just for him— simply divine.

If he thinks that’s divine, pressing his cock into you is as if the gates of heaven have been exploded open with dynamite, drowning him in a pool of ethereal ambrosia that he never wants to escape. Your walls stretch around his girth and hug him like never before; it’s wetter, tighter, and hotter than anything he’s ever imagined, and if he hadn’t already cum from your mouth just minutes before, he’s sure he would’ve cum right here and now.

You’re just about there, only a third of his cock managing to push into you before your walls start to clamp, that tension in your abdomen intensifying at an alarming rate. You throw your head back and moan unabashedly as his cock glides into you entirely in one movement, your cunt wringing snug around him as you cum. You’d be ashamed if it were with anyone else, but Shouto’s so thick and long that you just let yourself ride out your orgasm, your cunt pulsing and squeezing him tight. It feels like a religious experience cumming on his cock— he’s by far the biggest you’ve ever taken, and it’s been so long since you’ve had sex in the first place that you’re too turned on to care. A fresh wave of slick begins to leak from deep inside you, the aftermath of your abrupt orgasm coming in handy as you finally come-to enough to move your hips.

Shouto’s holding onto you for dear life at this point, knuckles white as his fingers dig bruises into your hips. He’s never been squeezed so tight before— never felt anything like your pussy, like you cumming on his cock. And even though he’s overwhelmed with the mesmerizing feeling, he still manages to keep his cool somehow, now evening his breath as he begins to thrust up into you. He decides he loves your moans— every noise you make from being impaled by his huge cock is music to his ears, a symphony he never wants to end.

“A-Ahaa ha, Shoutooo~” you cry, fireworks bursting across your nerves. “You’re so big, ah— it— it feels so gooood.”

You can’t seem to close your mouth— it’s too hard to focus on anything besides what might as well be his third leg thrusting into you over and over. His movements are relentless; never allowing you to come down from the high you’d been catapulted into with just one stroke of his cock. He’s so big inside of you, he’s probably the largest you can take while still feeling pleasure instead of pain. You feel like you’re the one losing your virginity here, not him— because, God have you never felt so filled to the brim in your life— his cock stretches and penetrates you so deliciously that you feel like any orgasm you’ve had before this doesn’t really count. It can’t count, can’t compare to this, to him.

Shouto is on the same page as you, desperately drilling into your sloppy cunt as if his life depends on it. It feels so good to be squeezed by your tight little hole, to have your fingernails dig crescent-moons into the skin on his shoulder blades, and hear your desperate cries for him. “Fuck, you— you feel so good, baby,” he pants, letting your pussy fall onto his lap and swallow his cock inside of you. “You’re so fucking sexy, y-yeah… so wet for me, so good for me.”

His praise causes a wave of goosebumps to rise across your skin, a burst of energy surging through you as you start to move your hips in sync with his thrusts. Shouto’s pace weakens as he lets you take control, sitting back and absorbing the pleasure that flows through his entire body at the quick snap of your hips. He feels like he’s in a trance as your hands move to grip the tops of his shoulders, leveraging yourself so your hips swing in a perfect arc that allows his cock to glide in and out of you completely. He watches as your hips swing back, the head of his cock slipping out of you halfway, only to be slurped back inside your tight heat all the way to the base.

Sweat is starting to accumulate and drip down your bodies, but neither of you are paying attention to that— Shouto reaches out and gropes your chest, fingers trapping your nipple and rolling it gently. You mewl at the sensation, your hips working even faster now, the dull ache of another climax forming in the pit of your stomach. You furiously hump his lap, your thrusts becoming off-beat and sloppy as your muscles scream with exertion. Frustration blooms in your heart— your stamina must have reduced in the past few months of abstinence.

“Sho, I’m… gonna cum again, fuck I’m so close,” you whine, pushing your ass onto his lap and stirring your guts with his cock as you swivel your hips.

Shouto hums at your confession, an arm winding around your hips and his hand landing on the plush underside of your thigh. His fingers dig into your flesh as he supports your body with his arm, his hips rutting up into yours with force. Each thrust has stars dancing along the borders of your vision, the power behind his hips much stronger than your desperate humping from before.

“I wanna feel you cum on my cock again, Y/N,” Shouto moans, tongue poking out to flick against your nipple, your tits in his face due to the change of position. “Want you to squeeze me and milk everything out of me, y-yeah…”

You nearly scream when his thumb finds your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with vigor as those two-toned eyes bore into yours. The surprise quickly morphs into bliss, your cunt wringing around his length as you feel yourself hurtle toward your orgasm for the second time. It’s not long before you’re there, ecstasy rushing through your entirety as you clutch onto him tightly, your toes curling and body shaking from the rush.

“Fuck,” he swears, both hands moving to grab your hips and pound his cock into your quivering cunt, delivering another level of pleasure to your orgasm. His bottom lip is trapped between his teeth, eyes darting between your face and your wet pussy that keeps swallowing him whole. “Ahaah— c-cumming—”

Shouto lets out a loud groan as he pulls out of you, hot, white ribbons of cum spurting across your stomach as he climaxes. Your hand reaches down to jerk him off and he continues to paint your skin with his seed, his body shaking as his orgasm ripples through him. His throbbing length is slick with your love juices, making it easy for your fingers to slide around him.

His head hits the back of the couch as he releases the last of his load, chest heaving while he tries to collect himself. The devastating pleasure of your climax leaves your body feeling weightless and your brain loopy, and all you can do is lean against his athletic physique and catch your breath.

“I love you,” Shouto whispers seriously in your ear, fingers deftly playing with the ends of your hair. He means it; he feels like his heart is so full of happiness, and he’s so comfortable basking in the afterglow of his orgasm with your naked skin on his.

You stifle the laugh that bubbles up in your throat, a small smile playing on your lips. “So sweet~” you tease, cuddling your face into his neck as his hands rub the length of your back. “I love you too, Shouto.”

Shouto hums in content, arms hugging you tight against him for a brief moment before he relaxes again. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he confesses softly, nudging the side of your face with his nose. He can feel your lips turn into a grin against his chest, and he smiles at your content.

“You’re being so sappy right now,” you point out, unable to stop smiling as you turn to look at him. “I really like this side of you, I’m happy to see you like this.”

“I’m happy, too,” he murmurs, his lips pressing against yours in a sweet and short kiss. “I kind of wish we did this sooner though…”

You laugh at that, and his soft smile turns into a grin that he doesn’t bother to conceal. “Mmm, I think it was worth the wait,” you disagree, snuggling closer to him and rubbing your skin against his affectionately.

Shouto looks down at you resting against his chest, examining your blissful smile and eyes closed in content. Yes, he thinks.

You were worth the wait.

─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

wow that ended so soft pls excuse me im on my period and so emotional at the moment lmfaoooo... okokokok but post coitus snuggly sho is KILLING M E ... anywAYY lol let me know if you enjoyed!! this was kinda different from the usual smut i write so! i’d love any feedback i could get :)

as always, thanks for reading! 💗

➥ masterlist

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

#todoroki shouto smut #todoroki shoto smut #todoroki smut #bnha smut #mha smut #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my fics

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kanmom51 · 2 years ago

Note

Sorry for posting such a long ask but I thought that some people would find this interesting or eye-opening (hopefully). And English is not my native language so please bear with me. When I first got to know about the lgbt community, I didn't know what to think, so I asked the elders about it and they told me that I should be kind to them and pity them for being the way they are and that they are like that because of past karma. This way of thinking didn't sit right with me and I felt like it wasn't the correct answer. I get the part about being kind but pitying them didn't seem right. Who wants to be pitied for being themselves right? Absolutely no one. And after that I didn't think much about this issue because it didn't concern me or anyone else I knew, until it did. (I'm sorry) Guess humans are selfish like that. We only care about issues when it starts to concern us in some way.

I became an army towards the end of 2017. Yoongi and Tae caught my attention and I binge watched all their content and also watched bts ship videos on yt (just compliations) to understand the dynamics within the group and I of course then noticed jikook. Jimin's behaviour in the early days more specifically and I unknowingly started rooting for him to win jungkook's love lol. (He had already won it way before but I didn't know that) So that was around the time when they started to get really loud. And I enjoyed watching them so much and seeing bts' reaction to them. They didn't seem to know how to react to them, their loudness was new to them too I guess and ended up making things even more obvious lol. In 2018 I realised that they are most probably a couple and I wanted them to be happy together because I had never seen such a beautiful bond like theirs before. But I still didn't know what to think about homosexuality so I refrained from 'shipping' them. I didn't ask anyone about it because I knew they'd tell me to pity them or something and I never liked that answer. I could not NOT think about it either cause by then I was too invested and I wanted a proper answer. So I turned to buddhism for answers.

I'm quite a religious person and buddhism is what I turn to whenever I need answers. So I thought about this according to the buddhist teachings and came to the conclusion that it's okay. That it's okay to be queer, to support queer people and that it's not a sin. Lord buddha has not spoken to lay people about homosexual relationships, but if you think according to the teachings, you get a clear answer. There are nikayas that outright say that it's a sin (I think) but as a theravada buddhist I only had to think and come to my own conclusions. (This version of scripture is the oldest and the most closely aligned to Buddha's teachings) I can explain how I came to this conclusion but this is already too long so I'll stop. If I said this out in public I'd be done for lol (eventhough there are people around my age who are far more open minded and accepting) Hopefully someone finds this informative and/or helpful. Specially if you are someone who doesn't know what to think or live in a homophobic place. Try to think on your own, the majority is not always correct.

Oh and also even if it comes out that jikook were never a couple, which I don't think would ever happen, I would still be grateful to them for making me a better person. A positive outcome of shipping/supporting lol. that's it. Have a nice day!

Apologies for taking so long to post your ask anon.

And thank you for sharing your very interesting point of view.

#ask #anon

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libertasforte · 7 months ago

Text

Thank you to the anon who sent me the ask about Peruere’s name! I was thinking more about whether Childe calls her that, within the canon of the story.

Tartacchino text

The ship at the level of actual events happening within the canon of the story in the video game, I will call “tartacchino text”.

In Winter Night’s Lazzo when she first appeared, Arlecchino called Signora “Rosalyn” and I was like “oh so she just straight up calls him Ajax huh -”

Why does she know his name? She’s head of the intelligence services, the Snezhnayan KGB, and it’s her job to know shit - I think she just called him that and he never questioned it like “ok yeah that checks out”

Would they get into a relationship? I think they’re fwb at best, I don’t want to say that it means that it’s a worse outcome or a worse relationship than them gettting heterosexually married or something.

The thing is, I don’t think the name “Peruere'' means much to Arlecchino. She grew up in an orphanage, her name wasn’t about being loved, I don’t think she feels a special affinity towards her name. And if she doesn’t want her name to be known, if that is the ways she wishes it, then I don’t see Childe pushing it, which is part of why she would like him.

I think Childe wants to keep a distance from people.

I don’t see Childe really using any name for Arlecchino - not calling her “Arlecchino” or “Knave” - instead he would mostly use “you.” If you know anything about European languages then there are two different forms of “you” - one public, one private (affectionate) - and them switching between the two forms for each other depending on whether they’re in public or in private is so moe

Tartacchino lore

But for me, most of tartacchino exists in the “meta-canonical” element, the series of events that takes place in real time alongside of me that I collectively call the “tartacchino lore”. And in this world, where he just learned her name - I think he was happy to learn her name, and he loves her name, even if she doesn’t love it herself.

Why does Childe, this Childe who exists out side of canon, love Arlecchino? Why is she more important to him than anything?

At the end of the day, she was the one who saved him.

She didn’t save him because she wanted to, instead it was just the result of her trying to save herself.

Why does she need him in order to save herself?

It’s that they are two of a kind, parts of a whole, and because he was the first and she was the second, because they share the same fate and the same destiny and because I gave their shared destiny to them.

Because she kept her end of it, because that was the way it worked and that was the way it is. What I think about Arlecchino is that she is rational. She did it because it was true, rationally. And that was what she owed him, and she paid back what was due to him. And because she accepted her subordination and their shared destiny, things are a little better for her and a lot better for him.

I think, she absolutely didn’t have to, but she did.

And because they are two and he is the first and she is the second, if Childe is Adam then Arlecchino is Eve - and if he was saved because of it, then I think he would love her more than anything, and he would love and celebrate her existence, and he would love the name that was given to her, even if she didn’t.

But when I keep on saying they were “saved”, from what?

It’s hard to speak about, exactly, but what I think this is, at the root of it, it’s about sexual competition.

I’ve written a bit before about how I think men police each other for sexual signalling.

So this is about how the status of men are made legible for women. And well, I have a hypothesis that what’s wrong with Childe is that he’s signalling above his weight. And well yeah, Childe might be signalling above his weight, but well, that in itself is very sexy. But I think that kind of sexual signalling is considered villainy within the camaraderie of men.

And you know, they try to make it so that the signaling seems sort of accurate. He is a jock as much as a jock can be a jock in as nerdy a pursuit as an actual waifu gacha video game.

Women don’t really do that among each other, but I think if you sexually signal yourself in a masculine way, then a woman would become subject to that too. So I think that’s what happens with Arle.

I think you can see it in a different light when you think about Arlecchino as a man who on top of being forced to be a villain was also forced to be female. Childe, what I think is that his personality is feminine enough that he doesn’t have to be actually female on top of that.

So that’s a kind of a problem, that applies to both Childe and Arle, and I think one way they can be “accepted” is by choosing the female lead, or if the female lead doesn’t want them, then someone who can substitute for the female lead like Zhongli or Columbina.

And then there’s Childe’s other option for being accepted, which, when you get right down to it, is what Arlecchino saved Childe from. (What I think about Aventurine is that he is him if he was canonically forced to go down that route. But I do think that forcing Childe to go down that route, when he doesn’t have to, is evil.)

And this was the question for the longest time, was she the kind of person who would stand by while that happened? Was she the kind of person who would let nature run its course or would she be radically amoral? For me, by the end of the Fontaine arc it was clear that she wasn’t the kind of person who would, and Childe paid for his karma, and I think that’s why they were forgiven.

And right, Childe’s story is not about sin and punishment, it’s about karma, and I think it’s fitting for a human species who live with and compromise our existences with men like Childe. And as far as I can tell, Childe’s experience seems consistent and in line with the human experience of being male, as much as Arlecchino’s character flaws seem consistent with the human experience of being female.

The thing about Arlecchino’s Japanese VA is that she isn’t a popular anime VA but a former stage actress (a woman who performed male roles in all-female theater, think drag queen but king), and I think she sounds like an actual person, distinctly and uncannily real in a world of fake anime voices.

Men and women we all alike would rather live in a world where we didn’t have to think about women having the character flaws of actually being female. And also what I think that the problem with Childe is for many men is that he feels too raw to the actual experience of being male.

Anyway, Tartacchino isn’t about a male suitor choosing a female lead. It’s not about Childe choosing Arlecchino, or Arlecchino choosing Childe. Tartacchino is about them choosing themselves. That is the villainy of Tartacchino, when you get right down to it. I think we instinctively understand Tartacchino to be villainous.

Their commitment saves them, because their commitment to each other removes them from the sexual marketplace. They don’t have to be considered to be among one of the competitors anymore. I can stop looking at them as competitive agents in the sexual marketplace, and policing them for it. Instead I can reframe their existence as being about how much they can affirm each other. I did this because I want to love them without compromising who they are. Because Arlecchino can have a harem of women and Childe can whore himself out to literally everyone, the king and the queen, uncrowned, they can be committed to each other, and I love them for it.

#tartaglia #childe #arlecchino #tartacchino #tartacchino lore #tartacchino meta #genshin impact

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bruhstories · 4 years ago

Text

Dazed and Confused

Summary: You and Connie have been friends for ten years, crushing on each other like a bunch of idiots who can't confess their feelings for one another. Until you go on a trip with your friends. Pairing: Connie Springer x Fem!Reader Warnings & Content: 18+, language, oral sex (female & male receiving), unprotected sex, weed smoking, alcohol consumption, f l u f f Word Count: 4.2 k

A/N: I got so pissed at that last anon that I finished this oneshot quicker lol. @fiaficsxo here it is!

You loved parties. Not the loud music and thick smoke, not the booze and smell of vomit, but your friends. Every time they gathered at someone's place, your heart fluttered, filled with happiness and content and long-lasting memories.

Connie had the brilliant idea of spending a week in the mountains during your spring break, and you wasted an entire night searching for the perfect cottage to rent. Luckily everyone was down with his suggestion, the only problem was how you'd sleep. Historia obviously wanted to share a room with Ymir. Mikasa and Eren were an item now, so they'd have to sleep together. Armin wanted to try his luck with Annie, so no one objected to that. Jean declared that he wanted to bunk with Connie, like the two eligible bachelors they were, and that left you and Sasha to share a room together. You didn't mind it, in all honesty you loved Sasha with all your heart — but you secretly hoped someone would pick up on your feelings for Connie and let you sleep with him. You weren't that lucky.

You packed your bag the night before the trip, obsessively ticking everything on your list and double checking every item and pocket. It was ready, with one item missing — the white lace babydoll smoothed on your dorm bed. You chewed the pen cap, debating whether to bring it with you or not. You bought it for special occasions, but you haven't had a dick appointment in a long time, and you doubted you'd have one this week. With a shrug, you decided to bring it — you never know what might happen. Nighttime passed quickly and you soon found yourself all dolled up, albeit still sleepy from all the tossing and turning, excited to make more memories with your friends.

The train station was packed with people, especially students who went back to their hometowns for the break, and you were relieved to find Armin and Mikasa there. You three were always punctual, followed by Jean and Annie. Eren, Sasha and Connie were always late, which is why you told them the train leaves at 7 am instead of 7:30. It was a dirty strategy, but no one wanted to miss such a fun opportunity because of those lazy fuckers. And lo and behold, they decided to appear at 7:15.

"That was some good thinking." Jean shook his head, hand sympathetically placed on your shoulder.

"I'm only glad you guys rolled with it." You laughed without noticing the way Connie stared at you, and even he didn't understand exactly what he felt. Was he grumpy because he hated morning, or was it Jean's hand on you that irked him?

"It's not polite to stare." Sasha pulled Connie out of his thoughts.

"I wasn't staring, I was looking." Connie rolled his eyes, gripping the handle of his suitcase a bit too tightly.

"I just don't get it why you don't tell her you like her." The girl popped a bubblegum baloon, proceeding to chew it very loudly.

"Are you kidding me? She obviously likes Jean. Look how she's laughing!"

Sasha placed an arm on his shoulder, a sheepish smile on her face. "You, my friend, are a dumbass."

"Takes one to know one."

To say that your friends were loud during the train ride was an understatement. They didn't really care about the nasty glares other passengers shot at them, opting to talk, sing, eat and practically embarrass themselves. But two hours later you arrived, and the fresh, crisp air of the mountains was a blessing. You didn't regret coming, all of you deserved a break after all the exams, studying and all-nighters you guys pulled.

"We could visit the military museum!" Armin suggested, but Connie scrunched his nose.

"We came here to get high, drink and spend time together, why the fuck would we visit some old ass building?"

"I'd like to go to the museum." You awkwardly smiled, earning a 'see?' from the blond. Mikasa, Eren and Annie backed you up, and since it was a democracy, you ended up leaving your bags at the cottage and touring the small town to find the military museum. The building wasn't massive, and inside it was dark, with crimson carpets and dim lights. It was actually quite a romantic atmosphere, had it not been for the weapons and armours displayed in glass cases. Connie watched you intently, taking in every movement, every flinch, every hair tucking, every scrunch of your cute nose. You absorbed the information, hungry for knowledge. This was something you and Connie didn't share — yes, you were down to drinking and smoking, but you were also eager to learn and study, while he always preached how 'you can always retake an exam but you can't relive a party.' He wasn't stupid by any means, but unlike you, Jean, Armin and Mikasa — who alwaysstudied and never skipped lectures — Connie would wing it and somehow end up getting better grades. His strategy didn't always work, and sometimes, when you were in college, he'd ask you to tutor him. Now you were second year undergraduates, and while you were studying different subjects, you still made time for each other.

"That's a nice, uhh..." Connie squinted, "...shotgun."

"It's a musket." You chuckled, your fingers accidentally brushing his as you turned around to face him.

"Shotgun, musket, same thing."

"Actually, muskets are muzzle-loaded and fire a single bullet, but shotguns pack multiple pellets in one shell." You explained. "I'm sorry, you're probably not interested in my ramblings."

"No, no, it's... interesting. I just wasn't expecting you to know so much about guns." He rubbed his nape and smiled at you.

"Well, I do study history, in case you forgot."

"How could I forget that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" You awkwardly elbowed Connie. Why was it so hard for you to just tell him your feelings? Oh, right, because you've been friends for ten years and if he didn't like you back, it would only ruin a great friendship.

"It means you brag about it so much it's kind of hard to forget." He told you, quickly realising just how insulting that sounded.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that's how you felt..." You sighed, eyes darting back to the weapons.

"No, I didn't- forget it." Connie shook his head. Well played.

Back at the cottage, with enough food and booze to last the group a month, you decided to stay in your room for the rest of the day. It wasn't the first time you had embarrassing moments with Connie, but this particular one made you anxious to be around him. Did he really dislike you that much, or was it just friendly banter? If you were to ask him, you could find out, but every scenario in your head had a bad outcome, so avoiding him for now was the smartest choice. Sasha pleaded with you to spend the evening in the living room with everyone else, but you brushed her off, telling her you weren't feeling quite well.

"Text me if you need anything." She told you before leaving. It was immature to act this way, you knew that all too well, but it wasn't like Connie cared, right? You eventually decided to go downstairs after finishing a long episode of your favourite tv show, your stomach begging for nourishment. As silently as possible, you tiptoed behind the couch. The hallway was dim, the sun had already set, and the only lights were the ones from the wide TV screen in the living room where your friends were watching some corny horror movie. You could cut the suspense and tension with a knife, and when you dropped a teaspoon, everyone jumped.

"Sorry, sorry! It's just me!"

"Jesus Christ, Y/N, you almost gave me a heart attack." Jean got up from the floor and walked behind the couch. "How are you feeling? Sasha said you're ill."

"I'm fine, don't worry." You picked the spoon up and threw it in the sink. "It's just a headache, I'll sleep it off."

"Good, we need you here." The man wrapped an arm around you. "You're missing how Connie's crapping his pants at this shitty movie."

From the outside it would seem like you and Jean were a couple, but the truth was far from it. You two grew up together, his family was friends with your family, and what you had was nothing more than a brother-sister relationship. Jean's little remark earned a disgruntled look from Connie, you quickly picked up on that, and so you playfully jabbed him in the stomach.

"Connie's crapping his pants? You're the one who almost had a heart attack." You grinned.

"Oi, that was only because you dropped your stupid spoon. I was invested in the movie."

"Mhm, sure you were."

"Hey, you sure you don't want to join us?" Mikasa waved at you from the living room. You pondered over her question. Perhaps it wouldn't be too awkward to sit with them.

"Alright, sure, why not?"

"Come, sit next to me." Sasha shuffled to the side, but what she really meant by that was 'sit next to Connie', because she shuffled to the otherside.

The following two nights were surprisingly quiet, all you did was play board games, watch movies and walk around the town taking pictures. The tension between Connie and you seemed to dissipate, and you both forgot the unpleasant interaction you had on the first day. But on the fourth night, that's when shit hit the fan. Annie and Armin left for a date, and Eren and Mikasa wanted to spend the night alone in their room, leaving you, Sasha, Jean and Connie unsupervised, bored and tipsy. There was absolutely nothing good to watch on the TV, and you almost wanted to scream when your friends wanted to play truth or dare. It was one of those games you despised, because the whole point of it was to put the players in uncomfortable situations. And you didn't like being uncomfortable, unlike your friends.

"Jean, truth or dare?" Sasha beamed.

"Dare, duh."

"Alright, I dare you to switch roommates for the rest of the week." She sipped her blackberry cider.

"Okay? So, I'll stay with Y/N, then."

Good lord, if looks could kill, Connie's would annihilate Jean and Sasha off the face of the Earth.

"No, no, you'll stay with me. Y/N will stay with Connie."

"Eh? Why does your dare involve us?" You asked, confused and curious of your friend's proposal.

"Because." She shrugged. "Don't pussy out."

"I'm not pussying out. A dare's a dare." Jean scoffed. "I'm gonna go take my shit in your room and shower."

"Y-yeah, I'll go bring mine, too." You got up, using this time to hyperventilate alone. What the fuck was Sasha even thinking? Was this some stupid joke? But your friends wouldn't harm you, so why would she suggest such a stupid thing?

You took a quick shower before curling up in the bed, blankets covering you from neck to toe. Connie wasn't back yet, and you didn't want to go after him, that would just be odd. You were hoping you'd fall asleep before he returned, to avoid any unnecessary fuss, but just as you closed your eyes, the door opened. Maybe you could pretend you were asleep? He struggled to find his pyjamas in the dark, stumbling over furniture and knocking things down, and you turned the bedside lamp on to ease his search.

"Did I wake you up?" Connie bit his lower lip, and through the dim light you watched the way his grey eyes glistened, the way his short brown hair was ruffled, and how the sage green t-shirt hugged his toned abdomen.

"No, no, 's alright. I wasn't sleeping. I can't exactly fall asleep." You clutched the blanket at your chest as you shook the intrusive thoughts away. Connie was your friend, damn it, there was no room for romance between you.

"I can sleep on the floor if you want."

"Oh, God, no, it's... stiff."

"Um, yeah, it kinda is. Alright then, I'll jump in the shower real quick before going to bed." He stumbled into the bathroom and you really wanted to fall asleep now.

But you couldn't. Every time you closed your eyes, Connie's face popped in your head. So much for resting. You tossed and turned on the mattress, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but nothing helped. It didn't take long for him to finish his shower, and you mentally chastised yourself for not falling asleep when you felt him shuffle under the same blanket that was covering you. For a minute, you didn't utter a word, you barely breathed, afraid to disturb the silence in the room.

"Are you asleep?"

"Nope." You heard the click of Connie's phone and turned around. You couldn't see him, but you could hear him.

"Do you wanna talk about something? Until we fall asleep, I mean." You suggested.

"Hmm, sure." He turned on his side and you felt his breath fanning over your cheeks. You were too close to him. "Actually, d'you wanna smoke?"

"Aren't the others gonna be mad if we smoke without them?"

"They don't have to know. Besides, you and I never smoked together." Connie was already up, rummaging through his backpack with the flashlight of his phone. "And then we can talk as much as you want."

"Alright, I'm down."

You laid on the floor, your head next to Connie's as you looked at the ceiling, smoke leaving your lips. He took the joint from you, fingers touching yours and you blushed, the haze of the weed melting your worries away.

"Do you want me to skip the song?" Connie asked, and for a moment you forgot there was a song playing.

"No, I like it." You confessed. "I didn't know you liked Led Zeppelin."

"There's lots of things you don't know about me, Y/N." He passed you the joint.

"Okay, tell me something else I don't know."

"I like it when you randomly say historical or scientific facts."

"Didn't you say I brag too much about it?" You took one final drag before you stubbed the joint out in a makeshift ashtray filled with a bit of water. By this point you were high as a kite, every trace of rationality gone.

"That doesn't mean I don't like it." Connie smiled and you could feel it in his voice. "Now you tell me something I don't know about you."

"I can't sleep with open doors. It freaks me out." You sat up, a breeze blowing through the window sending shivers down your spine. "It's a bit cold, do you mind if I close the window?"

"Go ahead."

You got up and picked the ashtray up but before you could close the window, you stumbled over a chest of drawers, the ashes mixed with water spilling over your t-shirt.

"You okay?" He quickly crawled to you, concern written all over his face.

"Yeah, I'm just clumsy." You laughed it off and waved your free hand. "I'll go get changed, I should have a spare shirt."

But you didn't have a spare shirt. All you had was that stupid white babydoll, and anxiety seeped through your veins. You couldn't exactly show up in that in front of your crush. And you didn't want to ask him for a shirt either. Fuck it, what else could you do?

You peeked out the bathroom door and saw Connie back in bed, lazily scrolling through his phone. God, this was embarrassing.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." He laughed, but when your facial expression didn't change, he frowned. "Y/N?"

"Um, so, I didn't have a spare shirt and- Jesus, this is awkward." You opened the door and his eyes widened. "Is it alright if I sleep in this?"

"Oh, I get it now." Connie scoffed.

"Get what?"

"You were hoping you'd share a room with Jean, right?" He sounded almost disgusted.

"Excuse you? Where did you even get that idea?" You slammed the bathroom door shut, arms folded across your chest.

"I'm not stupid, Y/N. I've seen the way you two act. Do yourselves a favour and just fuck already."

You were speechless. Completely reactionless. The weed amplified your anger, but his words brought tears to your eyes.

"You... you fucking asshole! You think I brought this for Jean? I brought it for you!"

"Eh? M-me?" Connie was confused, and you were pissed.

"Yes, you. Jean's like a brother to me, oh my God! Ew!"

"Wait, so you and Jean are not in love with each other?"

"In love?? Connie, how high are you exactly?" You walked closer to the bed, arms still crossed.

"But- Fuck, I am stupid." He shook his head, the memories of you flirting with him flashing before his eyes. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

"A bit..." Your muscles relaxed and you sat on the mattress. "Really, Connie, I... I like you. A lot. But you're always giving me mixed signals."

"That's because I always thought you liked Jean!" He threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

"No, you're the only one."

"Huh, guess I've really been dazed and confused."

Calloused fingertips ran across your hips leaving goosebumps in their trail. Your hands roamed his back and the way Connie kissed you was better than any high you've ever experienced. He was touch-starved, and you were just as needy. His knee found its place between your thighs and you moaned when it barely brushed your cunt.

"I've been dreaming for this moment for as long as I can remember." Connie breathed into your neck, the hot breath tickling your skin.

"Me too, you blind bat." You laughed and he turned you over, hovering over you.

"'M sorry I didn't notice quicker." He kissed you again. One hand travelled lower, pushing your underwear to the side before he pushed two fingers between your folds. "Fuck, you're so wet."

"Well, at least now I don't have to finger myself thinking about you." You whimpered with a grin.

"Oh?" Connie arched a brow. "Is that what you've been doing?" He curled up his fingers and you threw your head back with a moan. "I thought you were a prude."

"T-there's lots of things you d-don't know about m-me!" You replied back between oh’sand ah’s, imitating his words from an hour ago. That only earned a sneer from Connie, his head dipping between your thighs. "Wait, what are you do- ooh fuck!"

His tongue lapped at your cunt, fingers pumping in and out of you, and you completely sunk into the mattress, moaning his name over and over again. You gripped the sheets, flexing the muscles in your legs as you squirmed and thrashed. Connie stopped and you almost crushed his skull with your thighs at the empty feeling. He pulled your underwear down and shoved the cotton panties in your mouth.

"Don't wake everyone up, Y/N. You don't want them knowing what a little slut you are, do you?"

You shook your head and Connie went back to circling your clit with his tongue, adrenaline rushing through your entire body with each lick, each suck. Tears of pleasure pooled at your eyes, nose and cheeks red from the thrill of your incoming orgasm. The way he was sloppily eating your pussy and moaning while doing it drove you insane, and within seconds you came undone, thighs trembling with delight. In fact, you were so sore you had to push his head back, begging him to stop so you could return the favour.

"You taste so sweet." Connie licked his lips. You don't know what possessed you to pull him into a kiss after you removed the makeshift gag, but he was right, you were sweet.

"Can I...?" Your eyes drifted down to his twitching cock, your voice soft and quiet.

"You wanna suck it?"

"Yes."

"Later. Right now, I wanna fuck you."

Connie gave you no time to protest, his elbow pushed one of your things to the side, the blushing tip of his cock grazing over your overstimulated clit, up and down your slit. Inch by inch it disappeared into your cunt and he let out a satisfied sigh. You bucked your hips, manicured nails digging into his shoulders with each thrust.

"Shit, you're so fucking tight!" Connie growled, head lowering to kiss you. You could still taste yourself on his lips and that only made you clench your spongy walls around his cock. That seemed to please him, because he rocked his hips harder and faster. "You like it?"

"Oh, God, yes!" You gasped, beads of sweat forming on your forehead as you clawed his back.

"Fuck, I want you to ride me." He gripped your hips tighter and turned you over. You tried your best to get in the new position without letting his cock slip out of you, and when you finally adjusted yourself, it was a whole new challenge. Gravity pulled you down, and his tip brushed your cervix, your eyes squinting at the slight pain. "If it hurts, stop-"

"No!" You cried out, your hands resting on his chest. You bounced up and down, the uncomfortable feeling slowly replaced with pleasure. Connie's hands traced your thighs as you rode him, another wave of heat flushing through your core. His palm met your cunt, thumb circling over your clit. "I can't c-come again!"

"Yes, you can. And you will cream on my cock."

The disgust words worked like magic and you flexed your thighs, bouncing faster, head thrown back, hair cascading down your back. "You're so beautiful, Y/N."

"Connie, I-" The words stopped in your throat, the pressure too much for you to handle.

"You what?"

"I'm- oh, God!"

"Atta girl!" He praised you when he felt your silken walls relaxing and your thighs quaking. The second orgasm was so intense you let yourself fall over his chest, dizzy and tired. You thought he'd give you a break, but Connie wrapped an arm around your back, holding you in place before giving your oversensitive cunt a few more thrusts. "Now you can return the favour."

You mustered up some strength to get up and kneel in front of the bed, between his legs.

"Please don't come in my mouth." You asked him before wrapping your pretty lips around his cock.

"Gotchaah-" Connie choked on his words when he felt himself in your hot mouth. You bobbed your head up and down, cheeks hollowed and eyes on him. You didn't break eye contact when you pulled away and spat on the tip, hand pumping his cock to smear the spit. "Hot." He mumbled before you went back to sucking. You felt the throbbing, tightening your lips around him and picking up the pace. "Y/N-"

It all happened in a flash — Connie yanked your hair and pulled your head back, thick ropes of milky white cum shooting all over your face and neck.

"Eew!" You scrunched your nose, hand under your chin to stop it from dripping down the floor.

"What do you mean ew? That's, like, a billion kids!"

"Actually, a fertile man produces around-"

"Don't start. Do not." He pressed his index finger over your lips. "Let's get you cleaned up."

You woke up sore, especially between your thighs, but damn, was it worth it. Connie wrapped an arm around your waist, mumbling something about how pretty you are, but you assumed he was still sleeping — or still high. The sun shone through the blinds and you squinted, annoyed by the brightness, and so you turned around, watching the way your crush snored peacefully.

"Cute." You smiled and planted a kiss on his forehead, waking him up. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Why?" Connie rubbed his eyes. "Waking up to you is a blessing."

You couldn't hide the tinting of your cheeks and the grin on your lips. "I didn't think you were the romantic type."

"There's lots of things-"

"I don't know about you. But I'd like to know those things. If you let me, of course." You bit your lower lip, eyes filled with hope.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" He sat up, his eyes serious.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Okay, so maybe Sasha knew a thing or two when she dared Jean to switch roommates.

You walked into the kitchen after getting ready for the day, with Connie following behind you. Everyone was eating their breakfast, and Jean instantly dashed to you.

"Connie, bro, take me back. Sasha's leaving crumbs all over the bed! I can't sleep like that!"

"I can't, man, I wanna spend the rest of the week with my girlfriend." He sneered and you elbowed him.

"I forgot to mention Jean's overprotecti-"

"Your what? Hands off my sister from another mister, you creep!"

"Creep? You're the one who was sexting someone's sister last night." Sasha chimed in, mouth full of cereal.

"Thanks, Sash." Jean rolled his eyes. "For real, how did this happen?"

"You see, mate, when a man and a woman love each other-"

"Nope. I will not hear this."

#connie springer #connie springer x reader #connie x reader #aot #aot x reader #aot smut #aot x you #aot x y/n #connie springer x you #connie springer x y/n #snk #snk x reader #snk smut #snk x you #snk x y/n #connie x you #connie x y/n

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ragingbookdragon · 3 years ago

Text

Tonight You're Gonna Go Down In Flames, Just Like Jesse James

A Jason Todd x Reader Story

Word Count: 7.9K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst, Mentions of Blood and Violence

Author's Note: This is the series I did a week or so ago. I figured I'd combine it into one big document so no one had to go searching for all the parts. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

It was a horrible idea in the first place and yet, of all the bad decisions she’d made in her entire life, this one apparently was going to take first place. Of course, part of her told her to just chuck her feelings into the back of her mind and leave them there, but the longer she spent around him, the stronger they got. And regardless of how terrible her love life was—and to be completely honest, it was horrible—she was going to admit her feelings and accept whatever outcome came. What’s the worst he could say? No? No, she didn’t think he’d say that. He flirted with her all the time, called her doll, and complimented her on her reading habits—no one had ever done that.

***

She shifted the red roses into the crook of her elbow, free hand nervously smoothing down her pink sundress, discomfort running up and down her spine as she waited on the front porch of the imposing manor. She’d gone to his apartment earlier but after he hadn’t answered, she remembered that he’d once mentioned the manor as a secondary hangout, prompting her to go there after.

Inhaling sharply, she quickly took the flowers back into her hand when the door opened, and she smiled widely at the older man who stood before her. “Hello, you must be Mister Pennyworth.” she greeted warmly. “I’m (Y/N) (L/N), a friend of Jason’s. Is he here?” she raised the flowers and the gift box in her hand. “I’ve got something for him.”

The man smiled and stepped aside, letting her in. “Of course, Miss (Y/N), please allow me to fetch Master Jason.”

“Oh, you don’t have to call me—and he’s already gone,” she whispered. “Wow, he moves fast for an old man.” Her eyes drifted to the portrait above the hall table and she smiled at the faces of him and his brothers. They looked rather regal for the humorous stories he told her all the time. Footsteps drew her attention away and she turned, smiling at Jason as he walked towards her. He wore a surprised smile, but it was a smile, nonetheless.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” he asked and when she opened her mouth all she managed was a dumb, ‘uh…’ then she shoved the flowers in his face.

“These are for you.” She replied, face heating up as his fingers brushed hers when he took them.

Jason brought the bouquet of roses to his nose and inhaled. “Wow, they’re beautiful, (Y/N).” He gave her that smile that had her stomach fluttering. “Thank you.”

She nodded and held the gift box up too, no longer than about nine inches and about eight wide. “This is for you too.”

“Thank you,” he said, tucking the flowers into his elbow while he unwound the twine rope and opened the box top. He shifted away the tissue paper and pulled out a small book, about the size of his hand and his eyes went wide. “Is this—”

(Y/N) nodded. “Yeah! You mentioned that you wanted a pocket booklet of Emily Dickinson’s poems…so I went scrounging some old bookstores and found one.” She smiled bashfully. “For you.”

He huffed a laugh of disbelief and pulled her in for a quick hug. She tried not to pass out in his arms as he breathed in her ear, “Thank you, (Y/N). Really, thank you, so much.”

“It was no big deal,” she brushed off, pulling away from him and he shook his head.

“Well, it is to me,” he retorted with a grin, then gestured to her. “But I don’t understand, what brought this on?” he nudged her in the side humorously quipping, “I didn’t forget a gift exchange, did I?”

(Y/N) laughed. “No, no you didn’t, it’s just…” she trailed off, falling quiet.

“It’s just…” he repeated, tone and eyes ever curious, and she swallowed thickly.

It’s now or never, (Y/N). Just tell him how you feel.

She motioned to the book. “Well…they say it’s easier to relay feelings when you give gifts.” Smiling, she confessed, “Jason, I…have feelings for you. Really, really strong feelings.” He went slack jawed, and though she felt a pang of embarrassment, she kept speaking. “And I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out on a date with me tonight? There’s this really nice café uptown that has good soups…or maybe we could go to a bar and get a beer together?”

Clearing her throat, she added, with a flustered smile, “Whatever you wanna do of course. I’d be happy as long as you’re with me.”

He was silent. Jason was completely silent, and she wasn’t sure what was worse, his silence or the shock etched across his face, but she kept hoping for the best. That was until he said her name. And the tone he used…she knew instantly what was coming and all she wanted to do was shove her hand against his mouth and tell him to forget she ever said anything.

“(Y/N)…” he started sympathetically, recovering rather slowly. “I’m flattered,” he admitted, raising the flowers and book in his hands. “For the gifts, really I am…but…” Jason shook his head and gave her a pitied smile. “But I don’t feel the same way that you do…and I am sorry.”

For a moment she couldn’t remember how to breathe, simply gazing at the man she’d been friends with for the past seven months and trying to figure out how she interpreted every moment so horribly wrong. All the kind words and hugs. All the smiles and laughter. All of it.

“(Y/N)?” Jason worried. “Are you alright?”

She blinked, suddenly feeling a flush of coldness ebbing out through her stomach and down her limbs; she nodded, pursing her lips. “Yeah—I’m okay.” (Y/N) cleared her throat and pointed back towards the door. “I’m…I’m gonna go…”

She hadn’t even gotten a foot away when he caught the sleeve of her pink sweater and stopped her. “(Y/N), I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you like this.”

Sucking up all the embarrassment and heartbreak back in, she turned and let out a ‘pfft’, waving her hand as she lied, “What? No! I totally get it, Jason. Absolutely.”

He seemed unconvinced and she hated how he always knew something was off about her at every moment. “Are you sure?”

(Y/N) couldn’t fight the wobble in her lip as she nodded. “Mhm. Completely.” She tugged out of his grasp. “But I totally remembered that I have a thing to do. A very important thing not here.” She gestured to the door. “So I should go. Like now.”

This time, she didn’t wait when he called out to her and she yanked open the door and closed it behind her as fast as she could, hurrying down the steps to her car.

She climbed in, immediately gripped the steering wheel and pressed her forehead to the top of it, eyes starting to water as she tried to get her breathing under control. Her fingers fumbled with the keys and after the fourth missing of the ignition, she burst into tears and dropped her keys. Her lips wobbled and her sight was blinded as she reached for her keys in the floorboard and when she got them, she shoved them into the slot and twisted, barely hearing the engine roaring to life.

Wiping a hand across her face, she could’ve cared less about the makeup smearing across her skin and she put the car into drive, hoping that with every foot of distance she put between her car and the manor, she could leave a broken heart behind.

Because what was the worst thing he could’ve said?

No?

That was exactly it.

***Part Two***

Of all the bad decisions she’d ever made, this was probably the worst, and all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and ride out every emotion that was coming onto her like a maelstrom. Every bad date, every failed notion of love just kept washing over her, but this one seemed like the nail in the coffin. She drove aimlessly for hours before she realized it was seven o’clock; a quick stop at her apartment and she fed her cat, also wiping the makeup and tear tracks off her skin before she wandered on foot with the direction of anywhere and nowhere.

***

Collapsing onto one of the benches that sat at the pier of Gotham Bay, she sighed heavily and gazed out at the water. It was calm compared to the storm inside and she propped her elbow on the railing, fist against her cheek, sighing again.

There was no way she could go to work and act like everything was okay. Kelly-Anne was going to drill her all about her “date” and she didn’t even go on one. She groaned. I never should’ve told her that I was going to ask Jason out. That’s going to be more embarrassing than being rejected by him. Another groan escaped her and she bent forward, burying her face in the floral dress pattern. I even wore a stupid dress and heels. Going slack, she let her feelings wash over her.

Something grabbed her shoulder. “Hey.”

“AHHHHH!” She yanked away, shooting up to see one of the masked vigilantes of Gotham city before her.

“Woah, woah!” they calmed, hands outstretched non-threateningly. “I’m not gonna hurt you!”

She pressed a hand to her chest and let out a sigh of relief, reclining on the bench as she heaved, “Oh my God, I thought—I don’t know what I thought you were.” A flighty laugh passed her lips. “You scared the hell out of me, Nightwing.”

He smiled and laughed. “Sorry. I saw you over here and thought I was going to find a new reason to call GCPD.”

“No, no,” she affirmed. “Just…dealing with things.”

Taking a seat beside her, he crossed his ankles and leaned back on the bench. “By groaning beside Gotham Bay at nine o’clock?”

She shot him a heat-less glare. “It was that or drown myself in cheap wine and Lewis Capaldi.”

He seemed to know what she was talking about, surmising, “Heartache?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she muttered, lolling her head back on the bench, trying to ignore his steady gaze.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“(Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N).” She grinned. “What’s yours?”

Nightwing chuckled. “Afraid I can’t give that out or I’ll be in with the Big-Bat.” She giggled and he followed with, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

(Y/N) pursed her lips and shook her head. “Nah…you’ve got better things to do than help a girl nurse a broken heart.”

“Sometimes the better thing to do is talk with someone.” When she met his eyes, he smiled wholeheartedly. “Try me. I’m a good listener.”

Something ached in her chest and after a moment of staring at him, she swallowed thickly and sighed. “There’s this guy I’ve been friends with for a few months now. And he’s really kind and intelligent and super good looking and I—” she shrugged. “I fell in love with him. I mean, it was hard not too with how amazing of a man he is.”

Nightwing nodded. “What’s his name?”

“Jason Todd,” she said, and she couldn’t help the smile that came across her lips. “One of the first times we were hanging out, I told him that his first name meant healer in Greek…but he didn’t seem too keen on that definition.”

“How come?” he inquired, and she shrugged again.

“I don’t really know…Jason’s never been all that open about his past.” (Y/N) looked at him. “I think some bad things happened to him when he was younger and he just…doesn’t let people in easily.” She managed a smile. “I feel like all the times he did tell me about his life, it made me feel special, you know? Knowing he trusted me enough to tell me.”

“You really seem to love him,” Nightwing noted and she couldn’t help the tears that gathered in her eyes.

“I do…Jason’s the first guy that’s ever seen me for me.” (Y/N) pursed her lips. “I’m weird. I work in a library and books are my life and I can talk your ear off about how Raymond Carver single-handedly saved the short story genre.” she sighed. “And I’ve always been the nerdy girl in the friend groups who watched everyone else fall in love while she pined from a distance.” She huffed a pitiful laugh that made even his heart tighten. “I mean, I even went to prom alone.”

Her eyes found his. “But Jason made me feel special. He listened and didn’t get upset when I apologized for talking so much. He just smiled and asked me to keep going.” (Y/N) wiped at her eyes. “I thought that we were getting closer, but God I saw all the signs of him being a good friend as romantic.” She groaned and buried her face in her hands. “And it’s so embarrassing to admit that I’m so starved of love that I saw them as loving gestures.” Another groan escaped her. “And then I asked him out today and got rejected.”

He blinked in shock, wondering why his brother would let this girl go. Obviously, they were perfect for each other. He didn’t tell her that though, instead asking, “What happened?”

(Y/N) moaned. “I showed up at his house with flowers and a book he’d been talking about.” She smushed her cheeks and glared out at the water. “And he was really nice about letting me down easy and I wish I could be upset about that, but I can’t because he was respectful.”

She sat back up on the bench and they both gazed at the stars. “Please tell me that even cute superheroes like you have romantic problems.”

Nightwing chuckled and nodded. “Oh, you’d be totally surprised.”

“Yeah?” (Y/N) giggled and he hummed.

“Two of my exes are super-heroines and they’re really good friends.”

She blinked at him. “Okay, yeah, you win, Nightwing.”

He chuckled and turned his neck, falling silent a moment to gaze at her. “…It does get better, (Y/N).”

Her lips pursed. “I know…I just have to wait it out.” She stared into his eyes. “But I don’t think anyone will ever be as great as Jason is.” Her eyes fell to the water and she sighed, “Is it too much to ask though…that I find someone to hold my hand and love me?”

Nightwing took her hand and laced their fingers. “I can’t do the second thing, but I can do the first for a while…if you want?”

(Y/N)’s eyes watered, and she squeezed his hand. “Yeah…I’d like that.” She propped her head on his shoulder, feeling his cheek press against the top of her head.

“Tell me what your favorite poem is, (Y/N).”

“I’ll bore you to death, Nightwing. And I apologize…a lot.”

“Someone tell you that no one cares when you were younger?”

“More than I’m comfortable admitting,” she sniffed. “From a lot of people I respected too.”

Nightwing hummed. “Well…I’m not them. And I care about what your favorite poem is.” He thumbed the back of her hand. “Please tell me.”

She sighed heavily and murmured, “I will hold you with harbor arms. The lighthouse finding a ship against the lonely sea. A shelter as your legs give out under torrential rain. What I’m trying to tell you is, you are safe here.”

He was silent for a minute, then he whispered, “That’s beautiful, (Y/N).”

“I think about it a lot…about it and Jason,” she replied quietly. “I think he’s afraid of love—of loving someone. I’d give anything to let him know that I’m not afraid of whatever skeletons he’s got in his closet…that…that I’m not afraid of him or what he’s afraid he is.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and she turned her head, quietly sobbing into his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I shouldn’t be—I shouldn’t—”

“Shhh,” he whispered, pulling his hand away from hers to curl around her shoulders, giving her a hug. “Let it out. I’m not here to judge you.” He wrapped his other arm around her, resting his chin on her head. “Let it all go, (Y/N).”

And she did. Every rejection throughout her life, from elementary school to high school to every college bar, she let out. Every “You’re not my type” and “I don’t date X girls” she let go of with every heart wrenching sob that tore her throat.

***

She didn’t know how long she cried, but when she was gone, Nightwing’s shoulder was completely soaked and (Y/N) had a raging headache to go with her heartache.

“Feel better?” he questioned when her sobs had subsided into sniffles every minute or two.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “A lot.”

Nightwing smiled. “Sometimes a good cry is all we need.”

“Mhm,” she agreed. “It’s cathartic.”

“Alright, Aristotle,” he chuckled and to her surprise, she found herself laughing. “And there’s the smile!” he cheered, letting her pull away to wipe her face.

“Sorry for boohooing on your shoulder,” (Y/N) apologized and he merely shook his head.

“Nah, don’t mention it.” He brushed off. “I hope someone like you would do the same for me if I needed it.”

She giggled. “Then we’ll meet here when we need good cries, huh, Nightwing?”

He held out his hand, watching her shake it. “Sounds like a good plan, (Y/N).” A siren went off in the distance and his face shifted instantaneously as he rose to his feet. “Rain check on the cry days.”

(Y/N) waved him off. “Don’t worry about it, go save the city.” As he started off, she called out, “Nightwing!”

He spun just for a moment. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” she smiled.

“Anytime, (Y/N),” he winked and turned, sprinting off.

“Be careful!” she yelled and laughed when he waved a hand in the distance.

***Part Three***

She balanced the tin of cupcakes in one hand and opened the door with the other, already more than nervous as she stepped into GCPD. Some of the officers smiled and nodded at her while others merely watched as she walked up to the desk and cleared her throat.

“Excuse me,” she interrupted. “Is Commissioner Gordon here? I’d like to speak with him.”

The man’s eyes went from the cupcake tin to her face and he asked. “Can I ask what for?”

“Oh, yes, I just need to speak with him about something…involving Batman’s, uh…helpers?” she winced. “It’ll be quick, I promise.”

He cocked a brow, but shrugged and grabbed the phone, pushing a button. “Sir, you’ve got someone here to see you…no sir, she just said it dealt with Batman and the others…understood sir.” He hung the phone up. “He’ll over soon.”

“Thank you,” she smiled, and waited for the detective to arrive. When he did, she held her hand out, “Commissioner Gordon?”

He shook her hand. “Good evening, young lady. What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’m (Y/N) and um…it’s a bit complicated actually.”

“We live in a city with men and women who dress up in costumes and fight insane clowns.” He snorted. “We do complicated around here.”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and nodded. “That’s fair, Commissioner Gordon.” She raised the tray of cupcakes in her hand. “This is going to be really weird, but I was wondering if I could use the spotlight to…call one of them.”

Gordon’s eyes drifted from the cupcakes to her, then back to the desserts. “You wanna use the Bat-Signal to get one of them…so you can give them cupcakes?”

Her mouth opened and closed, then she admitted, “Okay, that sounded a lot better in my head.” She sighed. “It’s not crazy, I swear but—”

“Why don’t you follow me to my office, and we can talk about this, hmm?” he asked, and she nodded.

“That sounds great, sir.” She followed close behind him to a closed-off room and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk, waiting for him to sit in his chair.

“So,” he started when he sat down. “Start from the beginning of why you wanna give Batman cupcakes.”

(Y/N)’s cheeks warmed, and she murmured, “Nightwing. I want to give them to Nightwing, actually.” He cocked a brow but said nothing and she cleared her throat. “So, the other week, Nightwing helped me out with something and to repay the debt, I made these.”

“What’d he help you with?” Gordon questioned and she played with the hem of her sweater.

“Uh, he…he, um, helped me with a um…a really embarrassing rejection.” She waved her hand. “And I sobbed like a baby on his shoulder and I just wanna give him these in return and tell him sorry for taking up his valuable time.” (Y/N)’s cheeks felt like they were on fire and she begged, “Please let me use the signal to call and I’ll leave. Promise, sir.”

Gordon watched her for a moment then he chuckled and rose from his desk. “I’ve been doing this for about forty years, and nothing has ever been this funny in my entire life.” She sighed, thinking a ‘no’ was coming and he stood beside her. “Come with me to the elevator and we’ll go up.”

(Y/N) blinked in disbelief. “Wait, what? You’re going to let me?”

“Of all the things I’ve ever had someone come in and ask for? Delivering cupcakes is a new one. And I pride myself on getting the new ones.” He smiled. “Come on.”

Not wanting to blow her chance, she hurried after him with a big smile on her face and soon she was standing next to the giant spotlight, watching it silhouette against the night sky. She waited for a moment, then asked, “So how long does this usually take?”

He grunted. “Takes longer when you ask how long it takes.”

“That makes sense,” she laughed, and someone cleared their throat behind them. Both her and Gordon startled, though his reaction was less noticeable than hers, whereas she jumped a foot in the air.

“Red Hood,” Gordon greeted, holding out a hand to shake. “Good to see you, son.”

“Good to see you as well, Commissioner Gordon.” Red Hood replied. “Big-Bat in charge sent me here to see what was going on. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Gordon said, motioning to (Y/N). “You’ve got a visitor.”

The vigilante turned to her as if finally noticing her presence and he asked, “What’s wrong?”

(Y/N) held out the cupcake tin to him. “I was wondering if you could give these to Nightwing.”

Red Hood glanced down at the cupcakes. “Why’d you make cupcakes for that jerk-off?”

She was shocked to hear such an insult and she bit out, “Well maybe because I wanted to, jerk-off.” He was probably scowling at her from behind that mask, but she wasn’t going to back down. “Nightwing did me a favor last week and I always repay my debts.” (Y/N) held out the tin again. “Will you please give these to him and tell him thank you for his pep-talk?”

Red Hood took the tin from her, asking quietly, “What’d he help you with?”

“Oh my God, why does everyone wanna know?” she griped, then exhaled through her nose. “Fine, I got rejected by a guy I’m in love with, and I boohooed like a baby on a park bench with Nightwing holding my hand like a parent to a child and being super sympathetic.” (Y/N) glared, though she appeared flustered. “Are you happy now, Red Hood?”

“Be a lot happier if you weren’t giving my brother cupcakes,” he muttered under his breath and looked at her. “Do you want the Tupperware back?”

She nodded. “Just tell him that I’ll be back at the bench on Friday this week to pick it up. Same time as the other week.”

“I’ll tell him,” Red Hood said with a rather annoyed tone and started back towards the other side of the building.

“Red Hood!” she called out and he paused, glancing back at her. “Look…I know you’re busy with other things. So…thank you for doing this. Really, I appreciate it.”

He shook his head, murmuring softly, “Don’t worry about it, (Y/N).” And he was gone.

Gordon walked over to her and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Miss (Y/N)? Are you alright?”

She blinked and nodded, though she felt a great deal of confusion as she said, “He knew my name?”

***

Jason watched his brothers dig into the cupcakes, groaning about how good they were. He didn’t even need to eat the one he had in his hand because he knew. He knew she made the best baked goods he’d ever had, especially these ones which were her specialty. Double Dutch Chocolate Cupcakes with little pink, shimmering pearls. She put them on because she thought they were cute.

He glanced down at the cupcake in his hands, asking, “How do you know, (Y/N), Dick?”

The eldest brother paused mid-chew and stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. “Huh?”

“Cupcakes,” Jason said, gesturing to them. “She made them as a thanks to you. For last week.” He looked at his brother. “What for?”

Dick swallowed the bite he’d been chewing and nonchalantly replied, “Oh, nothing big. Just being friendly.” He shrugged. “How do you know her?”

Jason scowled. “Don’t do that shit. We both know how I know her.”

“Oh, right! The rejection after the flowers and book!” Dick exclaimed, taking another bite. “So, why’d you say no anyway? She seems like great girl.”

“She is,” he agreed. “The greatest.”

Tim elbowed Dick in the ribs, murmuring, “Is this Jason admitting he’s in love?”

“I don’t know,” Dick replied. “Jaybird, if you’re this pissed at me—”

“I’m not pissed,” he retorted, very much so pissed. “I just don’t want her getting involved with this.”

Dick’s mouth formed an ‘o’. “So that’s why you rejected her. You’re afraid of letting her know about everything.” He hummed knowingly. “See, she said that was probably it. That you’re scared.”

“What?” Jason’s eyes widened. “What’d she say to you?” He handed his younger brother a thumb drive. “What’s this?”

“Recording of the conversation I had with her last Friday,” he replied. “I was planning on giving it to you later tonight.” Dick laid a hand on Jason’s shoulder and murmured, “She’s not going to run away if you’re vulnerable with her Jason.” He nodded to the flash drive. “She’s stronger than you’re giving her credit for.” Dick patted his shoulder and took the cupcake from Jason’s other hand, biting into it. “Oh my God,” he groaned, walking off. “What does she put in these things? They’re addicting.”

***

I’m not afraid of him or what he’s afraid he is.

Jason put his forehead on the desk and stared at the floor, not really sure what was tightening worse, his chest or his throat, but something in the mix started hurting and he let out a shaky breath, vision blurring and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. Rejecting her affections meant she forgot about him. She forgot that he existed, and she stayed safe. She stayed alive. Jason wanted that. He wanted (Y/N) to grow old with someone and have a family, not die an early death at the hands of some crazed villain or worse, a failure of his saving.

He let out a low groan and rubbed his forehead against the desk, wishing that it would solve all his problems. Mostly the ones in his broken heart. They had texted each other and video called constantly. Usually meeting up once a week to hang out somewhere or go get dinner. His entire life had changed in one conversation, and the only thing he regretted more than telling her he didn’t feel the same way and making her cry was watching her lie that she hadn’t been bothered when he knew deep down that her heart was shattered. He knew it because he watched her breakdown in her car through the manor window before she pulled out of the driveway.

Maybe Dick was right though…and that thought made him wanna vomit because younger-brother syndrome was a real thing and listening to your older brother wasn’t fun. But if she were that honest with Nightwing, that real with him, then maybe he could tell her the truth. All of it. About everything he was hiding from her. His past and most importantly his feelings for her. Maybe he could really keep her safe if he did.

Maybe Jason could be the one she grew old with. The one who held her hand and loved her.

***Part Four***

“I don’t wanna die,” she whimpered, grasping at his wrists that were digging into her side. “Please, I don’t wanna die now.” Tears slipped down her cheeks and she let out a sob. “I don’t wanna die.”

He cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb across her skin. “You’re not going to die.” He promised. “I’m not going to let you die here.”

Her eyes found his behind the domino mask and she whimpered again. “I’m scared, Red Hood.”

“I’m going to save you. I swear I will.” He ignored the blood that had smeared across her cheek and pressed his hand back to her bleeding abdomen, tears of his own gathering in his vision as he whispered, “I won’t lose you too.”

***

She couldn’t help but look to her wristwatch again, just to make sure she hadn’t been late. Of course, she’d gotten there fifteen minutes early, but still—time was a funny thing and sometimes she found herself late to things even if she’d arrived early. She should’ve just told Red Hood to let Nightwing keep the Tupperware, but that thing was like forty dollars and it was her favorite cupcake tin—she wasn’t letting that go.

Footsteps sounded through the traffic from her right and she looked up, smile faltering just slightly when she saw Red Hood coming her way instead of Nightwing. “Hey Red Hood!” she greeted with a tad of confusion and he waved.

“Hey (Y/N).” he raised the tin. “Sorry for being the one to drop this off but Nightwing was…busy.”

She snorted. “Don’t worry about it. Did he like—”

Red Hood dropped the tin, breaking into a sprint towards her. “(Y/N)! BEHIND YOU!”

“What?” (Y/N) spun and gasped when she came face to face with two masked men. “Oh fu—UHN!” one of them sunk their fist into her stomach and she bent over with a gag, knees going out below her as they grabbed her by her arms and yanked her forward.

She heard him screaming for her as they dragged her to the side of the road and shoved her into the back of a van. (Y/N) tried kicking at them but one of them picked something up and hit her across the head and the last thing she saw before everything went dark was Red Hood fading from view as the doors shut.

***

The tires screeched on the van as it hauled off and Jason had barely managed to grab the back handle as it did. He gripped the sides of his hood and cursed sharply, heart already beating wildly as he panted. “Fuck!” he screamed. “Motherfucker!”

He spun around, mind hopping from place to place as if he couldn’t figure out what to do first, and he punched a button on the side of his hood. “Nightwing, do you read me?” The line crackled a moment. “Nightwing! Come in!”

Jesus, I heard you the first time, Hood. What’s wrong? Break a nail?

“Dick,” he whispered. “It’s—it’s (Y/N).”

Something in Jason’s voice told him all he needed to know. What do you need me to do?

He turned in the direction that the van sped off in. “Two masked thugs grabbed her and took off with her in a van.”

License plate and van description?

“I31-FL4. White Chevy van, tinted windows.”

Alright, I’m away from a computer right now, but let me get Tim on the line. Another crackle. Hey Red, you busy?

At the moment. Why?

I need you to run a license plate for me on a white Chevy van.

Mmm, can it wait? I’m in the—oh shit—middle of something right now.

Tim, it’s urgent. (Y/N)’s been grabbed.

Number?

I31-FL4.

Your van just clocked four traffic cameras heading over the bridge past Chinatown into Founders and off to north of Port Adams. Scans are telling me that Cobblepot’s manor is that way.

“Cobblepot?” Jason repeated. “What the hell is he—” his sighed. “Shit, Dick, one of Penguin’s thugs probably saw you and (Y/N) the other night.”

And Penguin’s assumed that she knows who I am. Ugh, times like these I wish I hadn’t busted his gun running from Blüdhaven. Jason, I’m on my way.

Do you need backup, Hood? I’m about twenty out from your position.

“Don’t worry about it, Red.” He assured. “Nightwing and I got this.” Jason started towards the other side of the street, already pulling out his grapple. “You stay on whatever it is you’re doing.”

Aw man. But rescue missions are so fun.

“Tim. Fuck over the line and get off.”

***

Cold water splashed across her skin and she gasped, startling awake with violent shivers. Immediately she tried to get away but found herself bound to a chair; eyes searching wildly until they came to rest on the short and fat man walking towards her, wearing an eyeglass and smoking a cigar.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He greeted. “Sleep well?”

Swallowing thickly, her eyes darted to the various armed thugs around her and she murmured, “What do you want with me, Mister Cobblepot?”

“Mister Cobblepot?” he cackled. “So polite.” He got in her face. “I want something you have.”

Her eyes found his. “I’m willing to part with whatever you need in return for my life.”

“I want Nightwing’s name,” Penguin said, and she blinked at him.

“Come again?”

His hand split across her face and she cried out in pain. “I don’t want to be drug around. His name. Now.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know Nightwing’s name.”

“Really?” he asked, then held out a hand and she watched someone put a phone in it and he shoved it in her face. “So that ain’t you sobbing on his shoulder like a whore with a heartache?”

Her eyes followed the picture and even from a distance, her and Nightwing’s faces could be seen, as well as their conjoined hands. “Okay,” she started. “I see what that looks like, but it’s not what it is. I swear.” Laughter echoed through the warehouse and she squirmed in her binds.

Penguin gazed at her for a moment, then he cracked his hand back across her face once more, and this time, he busted her lip. “I want his name.”

“I don’t know his name!” she spat the blood out of her mouth. “I was having a moment of weakness and he comforted me like a good person does. That’s it. He didn’t tell me his name.”

“I don’t believe you.” He hissed and she rolled her eyes.

“Look, it’s not my prerogative what you believe but that’s the truth. I don’t know who Nightwing is. Believe me, I asked, and he said he couldn’t tell me.” She leaned forward. “Hit me all you want but I can’t tell you what I don’t know.”

He shrugged. “Works for me.” And he punched her in the jaw, grinning proudly when her head lolled forward and she let out a low groan. “Who is he?”

“I. Don’t. Know.” She hissed through clenched teeth and he waved a hand.

“Someone bring me a knife. Maybe she’ll think better if she’s flowing.”

Her eyes widened and she started thrashing. “Okay! Wait! Let’s not be hasty!”

Penguin flicked open the knife and pointed it at her. “Name. Or I’m gonna slash you.”

“Mine? Mister Cobblepot, I’m disappointed that you don’t know the names of the women you kidnap.” She griped, voice turning into a shout of pain when he swiped the knife against her cheek. Blood flowed from the cut down her face, dripping onto her sweatshirt and she teared up, cheek stinging harshly.

“Want me to do the other side and make it match?” he asked, and she glared at him through her teary eyes.

“Go fuck yourself, oompa-loompa.” Glowering at the knife coming back down at her and she watched as something collided with it, causing sparks to jump as the knife practically jumped out of his hand.

Penguin cried out and spun in the direction of whatever had knocked the knife from him. “Red Hood!”

Someone dropped beside him and propped an elbow on the vigilante’s shoulder. “And Nightwing!” he glanced at her. “Sorry for getting you involved in this.”

She tried for a smile but still grimaced. “Say that after you get me out of this.”

He grinned and pulled out his escrima sticks, clicking the buttons. “That’s fair.”

“Well don’t just stand there!” Penguin yelled at the thugs. “Get them!”

It was a free for all. And even she was wincing with pity when a thug landed in front of her feet, blood streaming out of his nose as his eyes rolled back in his head. She figured since they were busy with fighting one another, she could use the time to get out of her binds—if at all possible.

She wriggled vigorously until there was slack in the ropes around her wrist and she started yanking her arms back, ignoring the way it broke her skin and rubbed it raw. Eventually she got one hand out and she let out a cheer, eyes scanning the ground for the knife.

It lay a few feet away and she grunted as she slouched in the chair, kicking her leg out as far as she could to toe it closer. Almost there! She strained against the bind and slammed her foot on the knife, dragging it to her. With a winning smile she picked it up and slashed the rest of the ropes on her wrist and stood up, immediately ducking as another thug flew over her head and she glared at Red Hood.

“Hey! Watch it!”

He stopped fighting, a gang-banger in a headlock. “How’d you get out of that?”

She put her hands on her hips. “I’m not some helpless damsel in distress, Hood.”

Chuckling, he slung the guy into the wall and pointed to the exit. “Get out and run as far as you can.”

“Right.” She spun and started towards the double doors when two thugs got in her way and she sighed. “Oh, fuck off.” Taking a step back, she turned on her heel when one grabbed her around the waist, and she yelped as he lifted her in the air. “Lemme go you big bastard!”

“(Y/N)!”

Someone shouted her name and she did the only thing she could do—she swung knife downwards, narrowly missing her own side as she stabbed the thug in the hip. He screamed, dropping her and she grunted when she hit the concrete. (Y/N) crawled along the ground when the same guy she stabbed, hauled her up by her belt.

“Oh, come on!” she yelled, and he threw her into the corner of the warehouse into some plywood boxes. They shattered under the force of the throw and her weight and she collapsed in a pile of hardboard, something in her side aching much more than anything else, like she’d been stabbed.

After a moment, the fighting seemed to die down and she managed to crawl to her knees, glancing down to find whatever kept poking her in skin and her eyes widened when she saw the jagged end of a piece of plywood sticking out of her stomach. And the second she saw it, the pain came, and she gasped sharply, holding it as she looked up them.

They were dealing with Penguin and she watched as Nightwing shoved the escrima stick to his neck and sent fifty-thousand volts into his body, watching as he jerked and passed out.

(Y/N) fell back on her knees and weakly called, “Guys?” they turned and gaped at her. “Help me.”

Red Hood was the first one to her and he dropped to his knees, pulling her against him. “(Y/N),” he breathed, one hand skimming over her face, the other pressing against the wound. She cried out and he said, “You’re going to be okay.” He looked at Nightwing. “Call a bus. Now.”

Nightwing knelt beside her and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, (Y/N). We’re going to take care of you.”

She nodded, though she wasn’t too sure of her belief in them. “It hurts,” she whimpered and Red Hood looked down at her side, raising his gauntlet to it.

“The wood punctured your liver.” He said and she sighed in shock.

“Am…am I gonna die?” she asked quietly, and Red Hood yanked off his hood, pressing down tightly onto her side.

“No. You’re not going to die, (Y/N).”

Suddenly, tears were gathering in her eyes and she whimpered, “I don’t wanna die.” (Y/N) grasped at the wrist that was digging into her abdomen. “Please, I don’t wanna die now.” Tears slipped down her cheeks and she let out a sob. “I don’t wanna die here.”

He cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb across her skin. “You’re not going to die.” He promised. “I’m not going to let you die here.”

Her eyes found his behind the domino mask and she whimpered again. “I’m scared, Red Hood.”

(Y/N) pressed her head to his shoulder. “I have a cat at my home. If I don’t make it will you get him for me? Find him a good home?”

“Don’t talk like this. You’re going to make it, (Y/N).” He looked at Nightwing. “Where’s the bus?”

“Ten out,” he replied. “I’ll go open the doors.” He hurried off and left the two.

“Red Hood, my cat—”

“You’re going to see Matlock again, I promise,” he interrupted sternly, and she gaped at him.

“How do you know my cat’s name? How do you even know my name?” He met her eyes and slowly reached up, peeling the mask from his face and her jaw went slack. “J—Jason?”

He gave her a weak smile. “Surprised?”

(Y/N) could barely find the words and she huffed, “I called you a jerk-off last weekend.”

“Yeah, I kinda deserved that.” Jason laughed, putting the mask back into place. “Couldn’t help it though. You made cupcakes for my brother.”

“Jealous?” she teased, voice dropping into a groan when she shifted.

Jason cupped her cheek. “Like you wouldn’t believe.” He thumbed her skin as the paramedics entered the warehouse and he smiled. “You’re going to be okay, (Y/N).”

She gripped his hand. “Don’t leave me. Please, Jason, don’t leave me.”

“I’ll come to see you after they get you into the hospital. Okay?”

“Promise?” (Y/N) whispered and he nodded.

“I promise, doll.” He nodded his head and stepped back, letting the medics do their job. And when they had her in the back of the ambulance, he sighed heavily and watched the siren wail as the red lights disappeared down the boulevard.

Dick rested a hand on his shoulder. “Go. I’ll call GCPD.”

Jason turned and pulled his brother into a strong hug, squeezing him tightly. “Thank you, Dick. God, thank you so much.”

“Oh my God, are you willingly hugging me!” Dick screeched, and when Jason tried to pull away, he held on and buried his face in Jason’s shoulder. “My Little-wing!”

“Okay, get the fuck off me. This is embarrassing.” He scowled.

***

Her head felt heavy and she barely had the strength to open her eyes. Brightness flooded her vision and she shut them again, waiting a moment before trying to open them once more. This time, it wasn’t as bright, and she blearily glanced around the room before catching sight of Jason curled up uncomfortably in the hospital chair beside her bed.

She didn’t wake him at first, simply gazing at him. He looked tired. Tired and worn out, like he hadn’t slept in years. Which might’ve been the case if the rumors of Red Hood being the second Robin were true—murdered then revived later. She doubt he slept much at all.

As if he knew she was watching him, his eyes opened and he met hers, blinking the sleep away and then he was leaning forward, gently murmuring, “Hey, (Y/N). How do you feel?”

She sighed, resting on the pillow, the thumb brushing her forehead almost lulling her back into sleep. “…Tired,” she mumbled. “And sore.”

Jason huffed a laugh. “Yeah, getting stabbed will do that to you.” He glanced towards the door. “Let me go get the doctor real—”

“Stay,” she said, grabbing his arm and he stilled. “Please stay. Just for a moment.”

“Alright,” he agreed, sitting back in the chair. “I’ll stay,” he said, but his eyes became firm. “but in five minutes, I’m going to get Doctor Brown.”

(Y/N) stuck her tongue out at him, and they collapsed into laughter, though at one point she groaned, “Oh God, don’t make me laugh.” She rested her hand on her abdomen. “Everything in this general area hurts.”

Jason took her hand. “It will—quit prodding it,” he griped. “You don’t wanna open up your stitches.” He ran his calloused thumb over the back of her hand and met her eyes. “I was so scared when I saw you get taken.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and he shook his head.

“It’s my fault. I should’ve seen it coming earlier. I should’ve told you earlier, but I was so scared of letting you know everything.” Tears gathered in his eyes. “But I almost wasn’t fast enough tonight, and you got hurt and—”

(Y/N) brushed her fingers over his lips, shushing him. “Jason, it wasn’t your fault.”

He frowned behind her fingers. “But you—”

“I’m here.” She affirmed. “And I’m okay.” (Y/N) grabbed his chin. “You saved me.”

“What happens if I’m too late next time?” he asked, eyes searching hers and she smiled.

“We’re not going to let that happen.”

“But it—”

“It’s not going to happen again.” She brushed her thumb over his lip and smiled at him.

He cupped her hand to his face and bent over, pressing his lips to hers; Jason stayed there for a moment, merely resting his forehead to hers and he lamented, “I’m sorry I turned you down. I never meant to hurt you…I was just—”

“Keeping me safe,” she surmised. “I know, baby.” Jason froze, eyes wide. “Too early?”

He chuckled and kissed her again. “Say it again.”

“Mmm, say please, and I’ll throw in a ‘I love you’.” (Y/N) countered.

“Pretty please?”

She grinned. “I love you, babe.”

“I love you, doll.”

196 notes · View notes

nextdoor-neighbors · 4 years ago

Text

Just Admit It

Request: ahh, okay i’ve never made a request before. But could you write like George and female y/n and they’ve slept together before like during parties at school but Y/n is staying at the burrow for summer now. Anyways like y/n is cleaning the kitchen or something and then George comes and he starts telling her how she should just admit that she likes him and stuff & she just kinda starts to get annoyed and keeps telling him she doesn’t but he keeps teasing her & finally he like pulls her into him and teases her and starts touching her lol. Then one thing leads to another and they end up in his room and then obviously smut starts. But like also include him making her touch herself and stuff. Obviously like 18+ yk. If you do write this then thank you!

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Smut, some language

A/N: happy new year’s eve! here’s my last story of the year, thank you guys so much for reading, and I’ll see you all in 2021! :)

“It’s no problem, Mrs. Weasley, really.”

“Oh, you’re an angel, dear. But please, call me Molly.” She smiles widely at you before heading upstairs to find her husband. You look at the sinkful of dishes in front of you and, sticking your arms deep in the hot, soapy water, get to work.

“Looking to make a good impression on my mum, I see?”

You grin at the sound of George’s voice, not bothering to turn around as you scrub at a plate. You and the twins had always been decently good friends, being in the same year at school, but over the past school year, you and George had become slightly more.

You’d always been attracted to him, but you never really knew how he felt until the two of you hooked up a party after a few too many fire whiskeys. Since then, you haven’t been able to stay away from each other, but lately, you were confused about the extent of your feelings for him.

“Yes, I am,” you respond, setting the plate aside to dry, “and it’s working. At least I hope it is.”

“It is. Trust me. She adores you.” George’s hands come to rest on your hips, and you lean back into him as you continue on the dishes. Your breath hitches slightly as he begins to drag his fingers lightly up and down your sides, clearly trying to distract you from your task.

“She also is under the impression that there’s something going on between us, no matter how many times I’ve told her we’re just friends. But,” George says, gripping your hips tightly and lowering his voice as he leans forward into you, tilting his head so that his lips are right next to your ear, “there could be something going on, if you’d just admit that you like me already.”

“You said it yourself, George. We’re just friends.” You dunk a cup into the water, ignoring how much you just want to give into him. You love teasing him, never giving him what he wants right away. It drives him absolutely mad.

“I did say that. But friends don’t do this, do they?”

Next thing you know, George’s hand slides around to the front of you and down your pants with ease.

“George!” you hiss. You grab his wrist and pull his hand out, turning around to face him. He gazes at you hungrily, a smirk on his face.

“George,” you repeat, quickly grabbing a towel off of the counter to dry off your hands and arms, “What if one of your siblings were to come down here? Or your parents?” No matter how shocked you are by his actions, you can’t deny how turned on you are, either.

“Then they’ll know we’re not just friends,” he says, grinning and stepping towards you. You step back, your back hitting the counter. He leans towards you, placing his hands on the counter on either side of you. “Just admit you like me, Y/N. Three words, and I’m yours.”

You look up at him, letting your gaze flicker between his eyes and his lips. You don’t want to give in quite yet. Where’s the fun in that?

“You wish, Weasley.”

He pushes his tongue against his cheek, shaking his head and glancing down at your lips.

“Not the three words I was hoping for. Let’s go.”

“Let’s go? I-”

He leans down and wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you up and over his shoulder.

“George!” you exclaim as he laughs, carrying you towards the stairs, “the-the dishes, I told your mum I’d-”

You’re cut off by your gasp of surprise as George slaps your ass as he carries you. You know that at any minute, one of his family members could come out of their room and see or hear the two of you, but like George, you always loved a little bit of a risk.

“We’ll worry about those later. We have more important business to attend to right now. Like you not admitting that you like me.”

“I don’t!” you insist. You reach one of the few empty bedrooms in the house and George brings you inside, closing the door gently behind him to make as little noise as possible.

“You reckon Charlie will care if we use his old bedroom?” he asks, chuckling to himself as he tosses you on the bed, following by climbing on top of you. He lowers himself on to you, pressing kisses to your neck. You let out a soft moan, which results in George’s hand coming down over your mouth.

“Shhh, princess. I thought you didn’t want anyone to find out?”

George lowers himself back to your neck, sucking on a tender spot. You know that there’s definitely going to be a mark there, but right now, you could care less. You slide your hands up under his shirt and rake your fingernails lightly down his back, which makes him shudder against you.

He pulls away, getting off of the bed, and you can’t help but wonder why. You let your eyes search him, from his flaming red hair that’s sticking up in several places, down to his erection that’s straining against his pants. In other words, you want him, and you want him now.

“What?” you ask, sitting up and pulling off your shirt. His eyes immediately drop to your chest, and he smirks a little before making eye contact with you again.

“Just admit it.”

“Why?” You start undoing your belt buckle, laying back and lifting your hips off the bed to slide your jeans down. You know at a certain point that George won’t be able to resist, so while he’s trying to play a little game of his own by not touching you until you admit your feelings for him, you decide to have some fun, as well.

And it just so happens that both of you are stubborn as hell.

“Why not? There’s no negative outcome. There’s only a negative outcome to not admitting it,” George says. He pushes his tongue against his cheek as he watches you slide your hand down your stomach and over your panties. You rub yourself through the fabric, and you know by his flushed cheeks that he’s restraining himself.

“And what would that be exactly?” you ask him breathily as you continue to rub yourself, but this time, you slide your hand under your panties, your fingers circling your clit.

He chews on his lip for a minute before unbuckling his own belt, but instead of coming back over to you, he steps back, stroking his cock as he continues to watch you.

“Well,” he says, quietly, letting out a small groan of pleasure before continuing, “if you don’t just admit it, you won’t have me as your boyfriend, which would be pretty bloody amazing, I think. You’d be missing out on a lot.”

You watch, growing wetter by the second, as he touches himself, and you can’t possibly think about anything else besides how badly you want him to touch you instead, or how badly you want his dick inside of you-

“Fine,” you finally gasp, pulling your fingers away from yourself, and George’s eyebrows raise at your sudden surrender, “I like you. I do. I like you a lot. I think you’re funny and sweet and I just want you to fuck me already.”

It’s almost as if a switch is flipped, and George’s lips curl into a devilish smirk.

“Was that so hard?” he teases, walking closer to the bed, “Now get on your hands and knees.”

You react instantly, removing your panties and getting into position, and you feel the bed sink under his weight as he kneels behind you. He wastes no time pushing into you with a groan, fingers digging into your hips.

“George,” you moan.

You feel him wrap his fingers in your hair on the back of your head and push your head down into the mattress as he continues to thrust into you, increasing his speed. You reach between your legs, rubbing your clit, and you know that you’re going to come undone soon.

“I’m gonna cum, baby, I’m close,” George says, his voice strained.

You finish soon after his words, the wave of pleasure floods your body. George follows your lead, and you feel him releasing into you, his grip tightening on you as he does so. You lay down on your stomach on the bed after he slowly pulls out of you, and he lowers himself next to you, rubbing one hand up and down your back softly. You smile and curl into him, resting your head on his chest, feeling his still-pounding heartbeat thud against your cheek.

“So, how long?” George asks, wrapping an arm around you.

“Hm?” You bury your face in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent and warmth.

“How long have you fancied me?”

You giggle, and George presses a kiss against the side of your head, which makes your stomach erupt in butterflies.

“We’re still on this?”

“We never left it,” George replies, “After all, that was just the celebratory sex of you finally admitting it.”

“You know,” you say, propping yourself up to look at George, “I don’t think you’ve ever actually admitted that you like me. You’ve been so determined to get me to say it that you haven’t said it yourself.”

George reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s ‘cause I figured it was obvious. You, on the other hand, have been playing hard to get.”

You laugh, which makes George smile.

“Barely. Y’know, if you just asked me out like a normal person...”

“Where’s the fun in that?” George sits up slightly to kiss your lips lightly. “Now, if I remember correctly, you have dishes to finish.”

You groan and pull away from George, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. You’d forgotten about the dishes, but you really didn’t want to make yourself look bad in front of Mrs. Weasley by just ignoring them, especially now that you’re in a relationship with her son, so you start to drag yourself out of bed.

“You’re helping me, just so you know,” you say, tugging George’s shirt over your head, “since you so rudely interrupted me earlier.”

George laughs, following your lead and pulling his boxers and pants back up.

“I interrupted you for a good reason, though, did I not?”

Before you can respond, he grabs your hips from behind and pulls you into him, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your shoulder.

“Georgie,” you giggle, “let’s just go get this done. Do you want to be up all night?”

“I mean-” George spins you around to face you. “I wouldn’t mind being up all night with you, but not washing dishes.” He winks before walking past you, pulling open the door and heading down the stairs towards the kitchen.

You laugh to yourself and can’t help but wonder what you just got yourself into, but what you do know is that a relationship with George is going to be anything but boring.

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pascalpanic · 4 years ago

Note

Okay hi I’m back with an IDEA☄️

So. I’ve been thinking about how stubborn javi would be with his feelings. Like maybe he’s being messing around with this girl and he knows he has feelings for her and she knows it too but both of them are so stubborn so they go out of their way just getting under each other’s skin.

Like imagine they’re at a bar with steve and she’s just flirting around and dancing with guys all the while shooting him bedroom eyes and he’s just there BROODING AND ANGRY n Steve is just like “you guys are so insufferable” UGH

aaaaaaa i love this so much!! here we are:

Always Been Yours (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

Summary: Javier doesn’t take kindly to having his dance partner stolen from him.

W/C: 2.7k

Warnings: language, lots of bad flirting, mentions of sex and sexual topics but nothing too explicit, Javier is his own warning. alcohol and cigarettes.

A/N: ☄️ anon you have done it again!! this was so much fun to write I hope it’s what you were thinking!!

Restraint is one of Javier’s best qualities. He can hold back when he needs to, save his emotions until they’re all too much then channel them out by fucking or drinking them away. He does it often, in fact. Sometimes, that restraint is too strict. Javier never allows himself to relax, never allows himself the luxury of feeling the powerful emotions his mind creates.

This restraint can sometimes transfer over even when Javier doesn’t mean to. He wants to let loose, he really does, but he physically can’t most of the time. Contrary to the men at work who tell him he’s too impulsive, he’s an overthinker. He mentally runs every possible outcome of any situation he’s in. He just picks the more dangerous options sometimes.

Javier holds back his emotions even more when it comes to romance. He sleeps around quite a bit, does what he pleases with whomever he chooses. It’s not because he lacks feelings or attachment, it’s because he fears them both. He knows what he did to Lorraine hurt her immensely. He never wants to hurt someone again, and so he avoids romantic relationships.

He fell for you when he met you. It was as plain and simple as that. When you moved your cardboard box into the desk in the corner of his and Murphy’s bullpen, his eyes were drawn to you. You had such an elegant and beautiful walk, he noticed. Your head was held high, your hips swayed like you were dancing. When you shook his hand, when he felt your soft fingers in his calloused palm, he was fucked.

He flirted with you. Of course he did. That’s how Javier does things. The flirting was subtle and quiet, not loud and brash like he normally was. He told you he loved those earrings, that that blouse was really beautiful. It always tied back to how beautiful you were.

It escalated when he realized you were into him too. You’d flirt back shamelessly, telling him that you wished you were involved with the narcos so that he'd pay more attention to you. He’d shoot back that you weren’t looking right, because his eyes were always trained on you. Steve made a vomiting noise at that and left for more coffee. “You’re just jealous he’s flirting with me and not you, Murphy,” you called out after him. You looked back at Javi with a devilish grin, and he shot one back in return.

That’s how your relationship has been going this time. You’re down hard for Javier, completely entranced by him. When he talks about cases, you have a hard time listening. Your eyes trace his biceps, the way they bulge against the sleeves of his shirt. You make snarky comments just to see the fire in his eyes ignite again.

Javier really wants to ask you out, he does. But he fears it’s unprofessional. He fears that you just want to hook up with him, and he likes you too much to do something like that. He wants you fully, in an all-consuming way.

You really like him, but you fear the same from him. His reputation precedes him, and you know all about Javier’s habits. You know he sleeps with informants to get information in those quiet moments after the work is done. You know he flirts with anything in a skirt around the office, and has slept with a decent number of those women too. Javier is a tornado, tearing through women faster than they can recover. If that’s not enough for him, you know he loves to frequent certain brothels in the area. You notice the sneaking way some of the girls there will grab his arm and murmur something as he walks past, the way he’s far too into it for being on the job. They know him by name sometimes. He knows them too.

As much as you want to be with Javier, you don’t want to be with the womanizer. You want to be with him in the early hours of the morning, want to tighten his tie for him before you walk into work together. You want to make him laugh and want him to stay with you and hold you after the events of the night.

You’re practical though. That’s not really who Javier is. You know that as well as you know the man. You want him in any way you can get him, really. That means you’re willing to just sleep with him. You’d take a night with him over never touching him at all.

Drinks after work are a common occurrence for you, Steve, and Javier. All three of you need the assistance of alcohol to relax after the chaos that is working for the DEA. The two men order beers, and you order a strong cocktail the bar you frequent is known for.

Tonight is a rare night where Connie is out of town. You and Javier, the two single ones, demanded that the three of you absolutely must go to the club. It’s a Friday night, you got off work early for once, and you want to let loose. Steve reluctantly agreed, and now you’re sitting in the backseat while Steve drives you and Javier.

As you enter the club, the music is loud and the bass pounds. You whoop excitedly and wander into the dance floor. Steve and Javier find barstools and sit.

You return after that initial song ends, resting one arm on Javier’s shoulder. They ordered a drink for you, the one they know you love. “Aw, thank you guys,” you coo and rest your head on Steve’s shoulder.

“Jesus Christ, kid. You haven’t even had anything to drink yet and you’re acting like this?” The blonde scoffs and looks down at you.

You frown. “Steve, come on. It’s a Friday night, I’m with my favorite guy, and Javier is here too. How couldn’t I be this happy?”

Javier rolls his eyes at you. “Thanks for that, princesa,” he murmurs as he sips at his whiskey.

The three of you remain at the bar for a while, chatting and laughing. Eventually, a song comes on that you know Javier loves. “Alright, you big buzzkill,” you laugh and grab Javier’s strong bicep. “Come dance with me.”

Javi groans as he stands and sets down his glass. “Fine. Only because you look so good tonight,” he mumbles to you.

Once you reach the floor, his arms wrap around your waist and yours encircle his neck. His hips start moving against yours to the music and you shudder, bare arms prickling in the humid air of the club. You rest your face in the curve of his neck as you dance, both of you moving your feet in perfect time with the other.

He’s a wonderful dancer, you already knew, but something about it is extremely intimate. Your bodies, which have long desired the other’s, are flush against each other. He can feel your tits pressing into his chest and one of your hands slides up into his hair, toying with the waves it finds there. He uses all of the power he physically has to stop the blood from flowing straight to his dick.

“You’re good at this,” you mumble into his ear.

“Only because it’s you I’m dancing with.”

Your time in Javier’s arms doesn’t last long. You dance more separately now, one hand of his still on your waist. It all shifts when another man puts a hand on your hip and turns you his way. “Can I steal you away?” He asks. He’s handsome, dark hair and dark eyes. He’s tall, taller than Javi. You don’t want anyone but your DEA agent, but this presents a wonderful opportunity.

“Of course,” you nod and he twirls you into his arms, wrapping one arm around you and taking one of your hands in his.

Javier watches in disbelief at the ease the man had in taking you from him. You’re now pressed to this random man’s chest, one hand resting over his heart. You giggle at something he murmurs to you and your body is pressed tight against his.

Javier stalks off back to the bar, sitting back down next to Murphy and slamming his whiskey. “Another one,” he calls from the bartender, who has another glass tumbler sitting in front of the man in a matter of seconds.

He watched you from the bar with a growing fire in his eyes. The way your hips moved was like the spinning of a hypnotist’s wheel, drawing him in until he couldn’t look away. You were passed around from man to man, grinning and laughing the entire time. You were having fun, that much was clear, and it almost made Javier feel bad for the jealousy that burned a pit in his stomach. He lights a cigarette to dull the want he feels for you.

Your partner spins you around and you lock eyes with Javier. They’re trained on you, they have been the whole night. You smirk a little before continuing the turn, wrapping yourself into your partner’s chest as he pulls you along across the floor.

Steve rolls his eyes and downs the rest of his beer. “For the love of fuckin’ Christ, Peña. Either quit staring at her like that or go fuckin’ get her from that man.”

Javier glares back at Steve. “Shut the fuck up. You’re supposed to be my wingman, not to fucking yell at me.”

“You need to be yelled at. I am being your wingman. In my professional opinion, as a man who’s fucking married to a woman who played the hard-to-get deal, you need to go show her that you actually do like her or she’s gonna end up going home with that fucker.”

Steve always gives Javier the tough love he needs. He groans as he realizes that Steve is probably right. He needs to go do something now. You lock eyes with him and give him your best teasing smile, your eyes showing everything. You’re having fun, but if Javier comes and stops you, you’d let him do whatever the fuck he wants. “Come get me,” you mouth to the man before resting your head against your partner’s chest, laughing and swaying along with him.

Javier downs his second whiskey and stands. “Fuck it.”

“Atta boy,” Steve laughs and claps him on the back. “I’m telling you now, I’m not driving the two of you home if you’re gonna be making out in the backseat.”

Javier smirks and stubs out his cigarette in an ashtray on the bar. “I live close enough to walk.” He cracks his neck and makes his way out into the rainbow-colored chaos that is the crowded dance floor.

You’re hard to find in a sea of people, all of them twirling and moving. Some women have their heads on their partner’s chest, making it even harder to find you. Javier finds the last man who held you in his arms, the one wearing a green shirt. He’s got someone else now.

Javier is caught by surprise when two arms wrap around his neck and his naturally find their way to rest on the hips of the person: you. “Hey, Peña,” you grin at him, one hand resting on his chest. “Sorry I got pulled away.”

“No you’re fucking not,” the man laughs, moving you along to the music.

“I am,” you refute him, frowning a little. “I wanted to dance with you, but I figured I’d give the other guys a shot. Especially since you’re taking your sweet ass time with me.”

Javier’s eyes darken slightly. “They should’ve realized you’re mine.”

You look up at him, tilting your head and eyes narrowing. “Oh, I’m yours?”

He shakes his head. “We both can tell. You know that, know what’s between us.”

“No clue what you’re talking about.”

“Can I show you, then?” He offers.

You nod, scrunching your nose. “Do your worst, Javi.”

He cups the side of your face with one large hand and kisses you deeply. You gasp in surprise, even though you knew it was coming. It’s warm and perfect, Javier’s strong arms holding you in place.

The rest of the dance floor twirls and moves along, but you and Javier have stopped moving. Your feet are planted firmly to the ground, arms wrapped around him like an anchor point in a sea of people. He kisses you harder and you allow it, kissing him back just as deeply. He tastes like whiskey and you taste like the fruity cocktail you drank earlier. Normally, the two would taste awful combined, but it doesn’t matter because now it tastes like you and Javier and anything with him included is the most delicious thing you’ve ever had the pleasure of gracing your tastebuds.

He breaks away a moment later. “Can I buy you a drink?” He asks teasingly.

“Not if you want me in your bed tonight,” you flirt right back. You can feel the apples of your cheeks warming with a rush of blood from the kiss, from what you’re insinuating, from the alcohol and from the movement on the floor.

“I don’t. I just want you in my arms and maybe on my lips some more.”

You look up at him, truly astounded. “I thought you’d just want to fuck me and be done,” you admit honestly as you push back a strand of dark brown hair that fell into his face while the two of you moved.

“I don’t want that,” he shakes his head still breathless from the kiss. “I want you to be mine. I wanna take my time with you, and yeah I wanna fuck you, but I wanna date you properly and bring you flowers and walk you home late at night, and then I wanna rail you into the mattress so hard all you can feel is me. But that can wait. For now, I just wanna dance with you and tell you that I really like you. Have for a while now.”

You’re grinning ear to ear at his words. “Really?” You ask.

“No,” he deadpans. “I just said all that shit for fun.”

“Your sarcasm is really annoying when I’m trying to be sweet and sincere with you.”

He sighs. “Yes, really, princesa. I just want you to be mine.”

The grin on your face only widens, your heart in your eyes as you look at him. “You don’t need to want it. I’m already yours. Didn’t you say that?” The music changes into a new song, something slower and sultry. “Ooh, I love this one,” you sing to Javi, forcing him along so that the two of you are once again dancing. “I’ve always been yours, Javi,” you admit, your thumb softly tracing the side of his neck from where your hand rests on his shoulder. “Since the moment we met. I really like you.”

“I really like you too, dulzura,” he murmurs and kisses you again. It’s not all-consuming or hot and sloppy like the last one. It’s warm and chaste with only the purest of intentions, Javier’s hands gripping your waist a little softer.

He gets carried away by the way your lips meet his. One of his feet steps on your toes, exposed by the heels you’re wearing. “Fuck,” you cry and wince.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, instinctually taking a step back from you so that he can’t possibly do it again.

You smile up at him softly as the pain subsides. “It’s alright. Maybe we’ll just need to get you some dancing lessons,” you tease and pull him close again.

You spend the rest of the song like that, slowly swaying along. Javier’s arms wrap around your waist, and he softly kisses the side of your head a few times. Eventually, your head finds its way to his shoulder, where it rests as Javier quietly mumbles the lyrics of the song to you.

He’s not very good at it, and he’d be the first to admit it, but it’s beautiful when he’s soft and quiet. He’s doing it just for you, this quiet act of intimacy. You press a kiss to the skin of his neck when the song ends and he hums a chuckle. “My girl,” he murmurs and kisses you one last time. “Let’s go home.”

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867

#javier peña x reader #javier peña #javi peña #javi peña x reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #narcos fanfic #Narcos #narcos fanfiction #javier peña fanfiction #☄️ anon

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iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 3 years ago

Text

popcorn & pronouns

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Janus, Remus, Roman Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Dukeceit, Creativitwins Warnings: Not much to warn for in this one. Language, a little bit of suggestiveness, vague non-detailed descriptions of a horror movie. Word count: 3402

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

Dukeceit Week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: A movie night date leads to an important conversation. Already being t4t makes it a lot easier. Or, in Remus's own words, “This is just, like, going to be a week of people coming out to me, I guess. Huh.”

Notes: Day 6 of Dukeceit Week 2021! Almost there! @dukeceitweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, where each piece can be read without any context. Takes place 9 months after college; at the start of the story, Janus uses only they/them pronouns.

“Ooh, popcorn! Can I have some?” Roman popped his head into the kitchen of the apartment he, Remus, and Logan had shared in the nine or so months since they had all graduated college.

“No, Jan and I are having a date in twenty minutes,” Remus said, waving Roman off without looking away from the air popper.

“Okay, I don’t see how that’s relevant to my question.” Roman pushed himself to sit on the counter by the sink. “I mean, that’s really cute, I hope you have fun. But can I have some popcorn?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Make your own when I’m done.”

“But you make it better!” Roman pouted overdramatically.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “All I do is plug in the machine?”

“Right, which is better than me doing it.” Roman grinned at them. “Less work for me.”

“Hey!” Remus swatted his arm. “The transphobia, honestly—”

“Well, if you making it for me is transphobic to you, then you not making it for me is—” Roman broke off quite suddenly, his expression undergoing several shifts very fast that Remus could not make sense of. Which was… unusual, to say the least. Roman was normally the one person they could always count on understanding. They didn’t like this new development one bit.

“Ro?”

“Iiiiiit’s… queerphobic to me,” Roman said at last, a worried pinch to his eyebrows. He laughed, and it almost didn’t sound forced. “So we’re at a tie, so you should just make me popcorn.”

“First of all, I’m queer too, make your own damn popcorn. Second—” Remus turned away from the popcorn machine and gave Roman his full attention, leaning back against the kitchen island and tilting his head to the side. “Do you wanna talk about whatever the fuck that was?” So far as Remus knew, Roman was bi; that was the label he’d been using for years and years, so long that it practically felt like forever. Since almost the very beginning of high school. Since before Remus had questioned their gender, even. Only last week, he’d called the light switch biphobic without hesitation when it broke.

Whatever had happened to make him so very deliberately not call himself bi just now, it was new.

Roman’s expression closed up very fast indeed, but not before Remus caught a flash of something he was almost certain was fear. “No.”

“You know it’s okay to question, right?” Remus inquired awkwardly. “No matter what specifically, and no matter what the outcome is? Yeah?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You know I’d still love you no matter what, right? Even if you were, like, a straight man—like, I would make so many jokes about not agreeing with your lifestyle, but—Ro, you know everything is always gonna be okay, right?”

Roman glared at him. “Remus, I don’t want to talk about it.” He wrinkled his nose. “And I’m definitely not straight.”

Remus blinked and raised their hands. “Alright. I didn’t mean literally straight, I just meant—you could be literally whatever, and it would be cool. That was—like—the most extreme example I could think of, you know?”

Roman let out a slight huff of laughter. “Thanks,” he said reluctantly after a pause. “It’s nothing, though.”

“Bullshit,” Remus said immediately.

“It—” Roman swallowed. “I need it to be nothing, okay?”

“If anyone’s making you feel shitty, I’ll beat them up,” Remus said immediately. “Even if it’s Patton. Just drop the names. I’ll do it. I’ll—”

“Remus, it’s fine. I want to stop fucking talking about it now!” Roman snapped.

Remus hesitated, fumbling for what to do or say next, everything about the conversation feeling just a little wrong and sideways.

Roman sighed. “Sorry.” He pushed off the counter, went to the fridge, and stared into it for a solid thirty seconds, then took a cheese stick out of the door. “I’ll make my own popcorn later,” he mumbled and retreated back to his room.

“Damn, alright,” Remus said to the empty room. “Be like that, I guess.” They flung their hands into the air and went to get the butter they’d been melting in the microwave before Roman’s appearance.

Roman would talk to them about it, whatever it was, eventually. He always did. And whatever was bugging him, Remus would figure out a way to bug it back until it stopped and Roman was all happy and bubbly again. Because that was what Remus always did. It would be fine. It was just a waiting game.

Remus sighed. He always hated waiting.

***

“Mmkay,” Remus said, when Janus had arrived, and they had worked together to move the TV out of the living room and into Remus’s room, and they had settled in on Remus’s bed—Remus sitting up against the headboard and Janus half-laying in Remus’s lap with their long thin legs stretched out along the bed and their head on his chest—and the popcorn had been set beside them where they could both reach it, and the blanket nest had been fluffed once more. “What shall we watch?”

Janus was silent for a long moment. Actually, come to think of it, they had been quiet since they’d arrived at the apartment—even more quiet than usual. But Remus was almost certain they weren’t nonverbal, seeing as they had exchanged a few fond words with him. It just hadn’t been very many words.

“Janny, baby?” Remus leaned forward, over their shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of their face.

Janus had their fingers knotted in the blanket that was spread over their lap, fidgeting with it anxiously, a thinking-hard expression on their face.

“Baby?” Remus curled one hand lightly around theirs. “You good?”

“Choices are too hard right now,” Janus said at last.

“Okay, that’s okay. Do you know what you need?”

“I want to watch a movie.” Janus frowned. “I just can’t choose.”

“Gotcha. No problem.” Remus pressed a kiss to their cheek. “I’m really good at choosing.” He threaded his fingers through Janus’s long hair, scratching soothingly at their scalp in just the way he knew they liked, and pulled up the library of movies, switching from Roman’s profile to his own.

“How’s some really cheesy horrible horror film we can make fun of sound?” he asked, scrolling with the remote and still playing with Janus’s hair with his other hand. “I know we have a bunch of those, I loved ’em when we were kids and I think they’re funny.”

“That sounds fine.” Janus nodded and relaxed a little further against Remus.

“Good.” He kissed the top of their head. “Do you need anything else?”

Janus shook their head. “I’ve just been kind of stressed lately. Work’s been shit, and all that. It’s fine. I just want to cuddle and things.”

“Ooh, ‘and things,’ I like the sound of that,” Remus teased, sliding his hand gently to their chin and drawing them to twist around far enough that he could kiss them soft and slow.

“I didn’t say what kinds of things,” Janus said innocently, their eyes still closed and so close to Remus that their lips brushed against his as they spoke. “Perhaps I could be persuaded later.”

“I’ll be sure to prepare my best arguments,” Remus said, leaning slightly up to kiss their forehead and then back down to their lips for another lazy kiss, taking his time and exploring Janus’s mouth until they sighed and melted against him.

“A compelling preview,” they murmured, their eyes still closed and the slightest smile curling at their lips.

Remus meant to make some kind of witty quip in return, really he did, but all that came out of his mouth was a quiet, awed, “Holy fuck, you’re so beautiful, Jan.”

Janus’s eyes opened and met his for a moment, soft and vulnerable, before they turned and hid their face in his neck. “Love you,” they whispered against his skin.

“Mm, I love you too,” Remus said happily, wrapping his arms securely around Janus and kissing the top of their head. “Love your pretty eyes and skin and hair and body, love how clever you are, love your scary goth clothes, love your snark, love your stims, love you—”

Janus whined wordlessly into his neck, pressing kisses to it and fisting their hands in the front of his shirt.

Remus chuckled, taking a handful of their hair and gently tugging until they looked up at him once more. “Do you want to watch a movie at all, or do you just wanna make out? Cause I’d be good with either, but if you wanna do a movie, we should get on that before we’re too distracted.”

“Oh.” Janus leaned their head back a little until it was resting against Remus’s hand. “Not that I don’t want to make out, but—”

“Nah, I gotcha. Gotta at least get through the popcorn, am I right?” Remus cast about for the remote, lost in the blanket pile, as Janus shifted about until they faced the television again.

“There it is!” Remus snatched the remote up, clicking through the library on the television until he saw the particular film he was thinking of and pulled it up. “This look good?”

“‘When moving into their new house, little do our protagonists know it is haunted by a demonic serial killer. Will they get out in time? Or will they be his next victims?’” Janus read the summary aloud. “Sounds absolutely thrilling. Extremely original. Love the bad Photoshop on the cover. I’m sure the acting will be of the highest quality.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s so shitty, I love it. So many cheesy effects and fake blood, it’s the actual stupidest shit,” Remus assured them. “I love it, though. Went as the demon thing for Halloween when I was nine. Nobody fucking knew what I was, but I had the time of my life. And got fake blood on Roman when he wasn’t looking. It was great.”

Janus chuckled, reaching up to brush their fingertips against Remus’s cheek. “Well, with such a glowing review from someone so attractive, how can I resist?” they said fondly.

“That’s the spirit!” Remus hit play.

Remus had watched this particular movie more times than they could count over the course of their childhood. He peppered commentary throughout the film:

“This is my favorite part, if you pay attention you can see her real fingertips holding onto the fake hand she’s about to get chopped off!”

“There’s a jumpscare in this scene, I know you hate those—okay, hit the skip-ten-seconds button in three, two, there. Perfect. Dumbass demon movie can’t even trust itself to be creepy without cheap scares.”

“Look, I know the mom is supposed to have some kind of hot blonde thing going on for the horny straight men in the audience, but she’s got nothing on you.”

“For some reason they made a director’s commentary and it actually includes the fake blood recipe they used, I’ll show you sometime!”

Janus, in turn, provided brilliant, extremely snarky roasts, mostly of either the actors’ absolute lack of skill or the gaping plot holes:

“Oh, yes, going alone to the attic at midnight without so much as a candle is a fantastic idea, nothing bad could possibly happen in this scene.”

“Listen, I can excuse the children because they’re about eight years old, but do you think this man has ever even heard of acting? Or even, like, speaking in a non-monotone?”

“I am truly fascinated by the special effects department’s understanding of human anatomy.”

“So, the demon feeds on misery? Why hasn’t it taken up residence in a large office building? I mean, come on, hundreds of souls in an environment designed to grind out constant levels of misery? It’s perfect. The poor thing must be starving out here in the two-point-five-kids-and-a-dog suburbs, every meal it gets is tiny. I would be so much better at its job than it is.”

At last the credits rolled.

“Wanna see pictures of the costume I made?” Remus asked.

“Sure.” Janus sounded amused.

“Lemme just—” Remus scrolled through their camera roll for a minute. “Oh, here they are.” They displayed their phone to Janus; tiny nine-year-old Remus, who sported long tangled brown hair in two ponytails, was draped in a black curtain, donated by his great-aunt, that he had very enthusiastically taken a pair of scissors to to create a tattered effect; the curtain was splattered with bright red goo, and tiny Remus had a pair of plastic knives in his hands, which were blurry in almost every photo because they’d hardly stopped making stabbing motions all evening. To their right, their little sister Gabby, who’d been six at the time, was dressed as Elastigirl and making a punching motion; to their right, Roman—who had already been a full three inches taller than Remus, even at nine—was wearing a Belle dress with a poofy skirt and a sword strapped around his waist and a huge smile that was missing one front tooth.

Remus swiped through the photos; a delightful scene unfolded, as tiny Remus posed for a few pictures, then in one was blurrily turning towards Roman, then dumping something on him, then Roman was screaming and Remus was laughing as red goo dripped down the poofy yellow skirt; Gabby watched with both hands clapped over her mouth, eyes huge.

“You two really have not changed at all, have you?” Janus asked, stifling laughter.

“Absolutely not,” Remus agreed with an answering laugh. “I think the most that either of us ever changed was when I chopped off all that hair and dyed it green.”

“When was that?” Janus asked.

“Sophomore year of high school. I did not have permission to chop it all off, but I did get permission to dye it afterwards, so that was pretty sick.”

“And that didn’t go against dress code?” Janus inquired.

“No, actually. Not sure how. But I bet my parents would’ve kicked up a big stink about it if the school tried and made me change it; they were always super big on self expression and shit.” Remus gestured towards the picture, indicating tiny Roman in his princess dress. “We always got to wear whatever we wanted, and shit like that. It was nice. Made gender shit way easier when that became a thing for me, you know?”

“It sounds nice,” Janus said softly. “I’m happy you had that.”

Remus nodded and pressed a kiss to their forehead, reaching for a handful of the popcorn dregs in the bottom of the bowl.

Janus shifted in their arms, rolling over to face Remus and propping themself up on their elbows. “Actually,” they began.

Something on their face told Remus that whatever this new topic of conversation was, it was important. He swallowed the half-chewed popcorn in his mouth. “Yeah, baby?”

“Speaking of gender.” Janus picked at the edge of the blanket.

“I love speaking of that, go on.” Remus tousled Janus’s hair fondly.

Janus took a deep breath, staring at the blanket in their hands. “I want to start using he pronouns again. In addition to my regular ones. Or.” They wrinkled their nose. “My current ones, I guess. So, he/they.”

“That’s great, he/they pronouns are very sexy,” Remus said at once.

Janus laughed, looking up at him at last. “That’s true, you are the sexiest person I know,” he said fondly. A shadow passed over his features. “But,” he went on slowly, chewing on the inside of their lip and picking at the blanket once more.

“Yeah?” Remus encouraged.

“I really don’t like the idea of telling anyone else about that.” Janus grimaced. “I keep worrying I’ll get asked stupid questions about ‘oh, so are you a man again now?’ when—like—no, and I never was one in the first place. So.”

“Oh, that sounds gross,” Remus agreed at once. “I can see why you’d be worried about that.”

Janus nodded. “I just—I don’t want to explain. And I don’t want people to ask questions. And they might. And I just—I don't want any of it. I want to skip to the part where they know and it’s all how I want it to be.”

“That’s reasonable,” Remus agreed. “But, I mean, if they can get me using he/they pronouns and being nonbinary, they had better fucking wrap their minds around the concept of you doing it too. Yeah? Or I’ll make ’em. Violently, if you want.”

Janus snorted. “I appreciate the offer, darling.” They reached up and touched his cheek. “I… don’t know if I want to tell anyone else yet. But I did want to tell you.”

“You got it, cutie.” Remus booped Janus’s nose once. “Just let me know if anything changes. I’ll punch people for you. Anytime. They don’t even have to have done anything. Just point me at them and consider it done.”

Janus did laugh at that, outright, scrunching up his face and burying it in Remus’s chest. “I should not be this into you offering to punch people for me,” he said wryly.

Remus grinned and flipped their hair. “Nah, I think it’s definitely very sexy of me and should absolutely turn you on.”

Janus smacked Remus’s arm. “I did not say that!”

“You implied it.”

“Not… necessarily. That was one possible interpretation—”

“Oh, right, I see, mmhm, very interesting.”

They smacked his arm again. “You’re teasing me.”

“Only a little bit. You’re so pretty when you get all flustered.” Remus bent their head at a somewhat awkward angle to kiss Janus’s lips gently. “Are there any new words you want me to use, by the way?” they asked. “Besides updating pronouns?”

Janus tilted his head to the side, considering. “I think… I still like all the sorts of things you call me already. Pretty, and partner, and—and baby, and so on.”

Remus smirked. “That’s good, I like calling you baby.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Janus hid their face in their hands.

“Why, baby?” Remus asked innocently.

Janus made a strangled noise, and after a pause carried on. “I do think I wouldn’t mind adding a little bit of… masc terminology? I guess? If that makes sense? Adding that into the mix. Not all the time, and not as much as the things you already call me, but… just a bit would be nice.”

“Gotcha.” Remus nodded. “I can do that. So, like, my baby is very pretty and handsome?”

Janus’s cheeks went bright red in an instant, and he hid his face in Remus’s chest again, letting out a tiny wordless scream. “Yes. That. That—that’s nice,” they managed after a pause, sounding almost entirely composed.

Remus chuckled and ran their fingers through Janus’s hair. “Good to know,” he said teasingly. “I will definitely keep this in mind.”

“Oh my god,” Janus mumbled. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Absolutely, but only in a sexy way of making you happy.” Remus kissed the top of their head. “This is just, like, going to be a week of people coming out to me, I guess,” they mused. “Huh.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, something’s clearly eating at someone else we know, and I think they’re going to tell me about whatever it is within the week. That’s all. It was just funny timing.” Remus kissed the top of Janus’s head again. “So, the movie’s over,” they noted, which, sure, was a blatant and deliberate change of subject, but he felt this was justified, both for avoiding-speculating-about-Roman’s-personal-information purposes and, more importantly, for fun-after-movie-things purposes.

“That it is,” Janus said, a particular innocent tone entering their voice. Excellent, he was of a similar mind to Remus, then.

Remus grinned and drew them up for a kiss. “So, what does the very pretty and handsome and lovely human in my arms want to do now?” he inquired.

Janus made another small, wordless, flustered noise and promptly dragged Remus into another kiss. “You can’t just say things like that!”

“What, about how you’re the loveliest—prettiest—sexiest—” Remus pressed tiny kisses to Janus’s lips with each word, until at last they caught his lips with their own in a proper kiss to shut him up. “Pretty sure I can say it, actually,” Remus murmured against his lips. “Cause it’s true.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Janus said, sounding very pleased indeed, and kissed them again.

Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @theimprobabledreamersworld @peruviandesertfox

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evakuality · 3 years ago

Photo

Matteo - Episode three

Social Media - There’s so much of it this week! At the time, I only followed a couple of accounts and then only saw the rest when it was posted to the tag. I think I’m grateful for that. This is absolutely overwhelming, the sheer volume of things the characters were putting out. But it’s also really nice that we get all this normal teenage life stuff. It really does allow an immersive ‘this is real people doing real stuff’ feeling to everything. Particularly people like Kiki and Sam who have little to do with the plot. It keeps them real and alive through a season where they were a bit more sidelined (and I love that Matteo and David’s little trip later on keeps them alive in a way that doesn’t overpower Amira’s season - this is a really clever way for the producers to keep fan favourites active without having to shoehorn them into places where they don’t belong). I am also a bit concerned about some of this though - how on earth did the boys not get in trouble for filming the dancing girls and posting it to social media? At most schools I know that would have resulted in some serious discipline action. However, the most fascinating thing about the social media is the party at the end of the episode. Sara didn’t start posting much on her stuff until much later in the evening (the reason this post is so late is because I was waiting to watch through all the social media before I worked with it - and there was so much for so long that I was able to notice the patterns in it in a way I didn’t at the time) and then Leonie took over and it was interesting what she chose to show and how non-perfect it all was compared to what Sara was trying to do before she got really incapacitated. I know it’s not technically part of this episode but the text string between the two of them the next day where Sara panics over how Matteo might take seeing her in such a sloppy drunken state is very telling. She really really wants to put on a show to make sure he’s not turned off by her not being ‘perfect’ - again, this is all very subtly done but there’s a really strong push to show how much of what is put onto social media isn’t a real and true depiction of who we really are. And of course that’s most important for Matteo himself. He’s still very actively putting on a front and it’s only partly to try to cover for the fact that he’s interested in boys not girls. He’s really not happy or at ease with pretty much any aspect of himself, but he’s also not really willing to show it to anyone. Except David. Which we’ll see as we go through the clips.

Clip one - Matteo’s shelf in the fridge is so sad! Someone (a parent maybe?) should really be making sure he has food and is looking after himself. We touched a bit last episode on food and nurturing and what we see here is Matteo very much not nurturing himself. Even more so than Sara, he has no care for his own wellbeing. Also he’s relying heavily on other people (Hans in this case) to do the heavy lifting for him. It’s also a major contrast to the playful, if disgusting, sandwich he made with David. Here it’s really just about putting something in to his body and there’s no thought for anything other than basic survival. Which is, tbh, a good metaphor for Matteo’s approach to his life at this time. The chat with Mia again veers close to things that are difficult for Matteo - he’s wearing David’s beanie, trying to get that bit of closeness to him, but then Mia starts asking awkward questions about why the kitchen was so terrible and what Matteo was up to and it’s all a bit tough. Matteo tries again to deflect and lie to cover his tracks. Which... is he ever going to learn? This lying is forever getting him in hot water when he’s caught out. Jonas even calls him out on it, basically saying ‘if you’re going to use me as an excuse then give me a heads up first’ showing that he has Matteo’s back, but is incapable of helping him if he won’t help himself. At this point, of course, Matteo has closed off because there’s a lot he finds too hard to talk about but Jonas is already giving those hints that he’d be there for Matteo if only Matteo would let him be. But at least Mia’s pushing serves one purpose - Matteo makes contact with David again and they manage to connect and get over the little hitch that David’s ditching caused. Both are still hiding bits of themselves from each other (David more so obviously), but both are quite happy to make these connections and are comfortable with each other. That David responds is so nice; it sets up the dynamic so different to the original and Matteo is much more secure in David’s friendship than Isak was with Even at this point just because of this. Then of course Matteo does the gay test, and it’s clear he already knows but he’s just sort of trying to work through some things. It leads to some of the things he says later that are quite unfortunate (both to the boys about the dance teacher in this episode and to Hans later about the ways to be gay), but I think there’s a genuine desire to figure out what gay might look like rather than any truly homophobic stuff. societal expectations and stereotypes and our own internal biases mess with us big time!!

Clip two - There’s not a lot of difference with the dancing girls clip, but it’s nice to see David again and the interactions between him and Matteo are a lot more natural than with Isak and Even. I guess because these two are in the same year, it’s much easier to pass off knowing each other and so Matteo really is a lot more casual than Isak ever was. The tone of the ‘why does he have to be so gay’ is different here too - Matteo’s much more low key and subdued when he’s called out on ‘why do we insult gays’ and he’s apologising fairly quickly. It really is much more obvious that he’s trying to work out what ‘gay’ is than trying to distance himself from the idea of being gay. He has a lot of issues and a lot of stuff to work through but it’s entrenched in an entirely different way to the og even though the words are almost exactly the same. The power of acting and body language!! Of course, this makes sense for both characters too - Isak and Matteo have different experiences and different lives and so they each act in a way that makes sense for them. I’m super impressed that the same conversation can look so different - both actors are very very good.

Clip three - This scene with Matteo and Sara works much better for me than the one with Isak and Emma. But perhaps that’s because Sara is allowed to be much more of a rounded character rather than a plot device. We can say all we like (and Leonie is so clearly right there with us) that Sara needs to wake up and see how badly Matteo is treating her, but the way this is developing makes it clear why she thinks and acts the way she does and we can have a lot of sympathy for her even while rolling our eyes at how obviously this is not working out. This right here is the moment where Matteo really should have said ‘yeah sorry, this isn’t working for me’ but he chooses not to because he still wants that security of having ‘someone’ if the thing with David turns out the way he expects it to (eg, David and Leonie being a thing). He wants the ability to hide and say ‘see, there was nothing there, I have a girlfriend so I’m not at all upset that David has one too’ and it’s shitty behaviour and it’s totally unfair to Sara, but at this point Matteo can’t see beyond his own needs. Sara is very clearly not happy with the situation and she rightly feels sidelined and unappreciated but she is still willing to accept his word when she puts those words into his mouth. She’s still invested in this fantasy in her head and she is carefully scripting it so that it goes the way she wants it to. Like last week when she was talking over Matteo to avoid hearing anything he’s saying, here she’s literally telling him what to say to get the outcome she wants. Leonie has quite obviously got a better handle on the situation, but Sara doesn’t want to hear it. Sara, again bless her, is very open about what she wants and needs from a relationship and how she’s feeling. She refuses to take Matteo’s very half-hearted attempt at sweet talking her at face value and demands some accountability. But it’s the very nature of those demands that sets her doom. She tells him what she needs and he gives it to her - only it’s a very pale and weak imitation of what she would really like. He uses her communication skills to play her.

Clip four - I loathe how no-one takes Matteo’s wants and needs into account, pretty much ever. He’s in such a rut of being used to just going with the flow that even when he tries to assert his own wants people straight up ignore him. It’s sad that he allows Kiki etc to basically commandeer his home for their party but it’s very much in keeping with how everything else is going. Last week, Kiki was super irritated because she had a picture of how things were going to go (they would have their event and Matteo would host it) and she couldn’t deal with things not being under her control. I suspect that if Sara hadn’t been with them and hadn’t done the speaking for Matteo, he would have been bullied into doing what she wanted then too. He clearly doesn't want to do this , but at least he uses it as a way to get closer to David. ‘Well, this party idea sucks, but maybe I can get this guy I like there’ and so he goes right up to him and invites him. While he’s quite checked out of significant parts of his life, when Matteo really wants something he’s not scared of going after it. Of course, as we see in later events, this gets him in trouble at times. But for right now it’s nice to see him taking some small control of his life. This is only possible, of course, because he was able to connect with David fairly quickly after he left last week. The fact that they are able to do this is testament to how easily they do understand each other and even while its awkward, this relationship doesn’t have the underlying tensions that the one with Sara does. It’s awkward in a positive way.

Clip five - there’s lots going on in this one. The studying and how little interest and engagement Matteo has with it. The consequent stalking of David on Sara’s account, the flow over into looking for David’s favourite movie, and of course Hans and his intrusion into Matteo’s quiet space again and then his attempt at using grindr. It’s a slow, fairly quiet clip and yet Matteo ends up doing a lot in it. It shows again, I think, just how much he values his time by himself and how much it works for him to be allowed to do things at his own pace. I’ve said before I really enjoy seeing the characters in their own environments being chill and just hanging with themselves. It shows us a lot of how they are. In this case, Matteo moves very quickly from the boredom of the studying to things he has more interest in. Like David. He’s restless and disengaged, using all of his tricks to try to distract himself (playing with plants etc) and then very quickly giving up on what he should do. I like that we get these sorts of smaller, lower key indications of how much David means to him as well. It’s not big grandiose expressions of interest, but he watches the movie because David likes it. He can’t even let himself stare at the picture for too long because it feels like a huge admission (he literally breaks eye contact with it and looks away the way he often does with David himself). It’s in these unguarded moments in his own space that we really see Matteo and he’s a mess, but he’s a mess who really does want connection and to find meaning with someone.

Clip six - We all love this one, right? It’s such a nice moment with David and their almost-kissing is very intense. But there’s a lot going on before that that I also want to look at. First, the way the boys call Matteo a ‘player’?????? how???? That’s his girlfriend????? He is playing her and stringing her along when he shouldn’t, but he’s not playing the field which is generally what we mean when we say this sort of thing. He has one girl and that one girl has made it pretty clear that he is hers. In many ways Matteo would be better off if he was playing the field - then there’s no expectations and he gets a rep as a ladies man. But this works better for him - he can sort of fall into it and follow along with it without having to put any effort in at all. She literally speaks for him, even. I have always found it fascinating how much Matteo keeps to himself in this clip. He hugs the walls like they’re his home and Sara is out there in the middle and there’s such a disconnect between the way they’re both acting. How would Matteo have coped with the expectations Sara outlines about sex had she not got so blind drunk she had to be taken home? It seems like it would have led to something very awkward and maybe she’d have finally got the picture.

Laura's little visit to see Matteo is cute too. Obviously she knows that David is interested and so she checks him out. It’s a shame it’s interrupted by Hans who then monopolises Matteo, but she was quite deliberate in finding him and speaking with him and I love the sibling support. David’s shirt he chooses to appeal to Matteo is hilarious too. The thought process (and the discussions with Laura at home beforehand) must have been brilliant. ‘I always wear black and am mysterious and aloof and cool, but to attract this boy I will wear a white shirt with a stupid picture on it’ - that it does attract Matteo just shows how attuned David is to his future boyfriend. Maybe he’s stalking the instagrams too - the Matteo Monday and Florenzi Friday do suggest that this is something that might appeal to Matteo.

Hans and Andi bother me too. In much the same way that I dislike that Sara assumes that Matteo not wanting sex with her means he’s gay (like? It’s okay not to want sex!! It doesn’t say anything about your sexuality), I don’t like that Hans has talked about Matteo to Andi and allows him to be so forward and aggressively sexual with someone who is very obviously not willing to be out. I know Hans is trying to be there for Matteo and to encourage him to accept himself (I think it’s pretty clear that he knows or thinks Matteo likes guys). But this is a party with all of Matteo’s friends. What did they think would happen? Why did they think he’d react in any way other than the one he does? Hans looks confused when Matteo pushes away and leaves, but why? This behaviour is entirely consistent with everything we know of his character. That it ends in an actual panic attack makes it all much more sad and difficult to watch. Honestly, outing people when they’re not ready is not cool and Hans should know this.

The panic attack itself is so well done. There’s no dialogue and yet we can see very obviously how Matteo is feeling and just how ‘normal’ this is to him. He has a set of behaviours that he follows to try to take the edge off. He throws things (this is his go-to when he’s stressed and he does it a LOT), he tries weed and he finally tries music and sitting by himself, cuddling a cushion for comfort. I know a million people have discussed this at length, but I don’t think we can speak about this clip without at least touching on it. Everything about it is done so well and it all combines to allow Matteo’s feelings to shine through. I love that it’s allowed to happen at a party and that we see very clearly how these things can be overwhelming for characters. I won’t go on anymore, but it’s just great and the acting is so perfect. I genuinely think this small part of this clip is probably my favourite acting out of everything in this show.

And then of course we have the stuff after everyone else has left. Again, a million people have discussed this in a million ways, but I love how this scene again shows how easily they get each other, how good they are at communicating with each other and how quickly they get on the same page. Matteo has no trouble at all saying what he thinks and pressing for information. This parallels Sara in some ways - she is like this with Matteo, making her wants and needs clear and putting herself on the line. Again, this is all very good set up for later on when Matteo finally finds himself in her position and realises just how much his behaviour hurt her because he’s living her side. However, unlike Matteo, David is quite clear and honest back. And that’s why they can so quickly move into a potential kiss. As with Matteo and Sara, there are close ups as they lean into each other, but somehow it feels like there’s more space for them to breathe here. The camera allows them both to be in the frame naturally, whether Sara is often invading into Matteo’s shots. Here, they’re both on board and both want it. I like that Matteo gets a moment to be open and himself after his experience with Andi. It must take a lot of courage to do this after he was so badly affected earlier. Testament to David’s calming presence which reassures rather than pushes, and how honest they are with each other - there’s no way David could miss how relieved Matteo is when he finds out that Laura is David’s sister not his girlfriend. They’re both very brave here - David for telling Matteo he looks good and Matteo for trying to take that next step even after his panic attack. And I think that’s a nice place to leave this. Because that’s already such a lot and this has all already been said before.

#druck #og druck #Matteo - episode 3 #again super long I'm sorry #one day I'll learn how to be concise

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 4 years ago

Text

Kaz Brekker x fem! Ghafa! Reader - Selfish

A/n: So I wasn't fully happy how this turned out but it's fine! Also btw I changed the title it was previously There for you, there for me?

Warnings: Heart break, language, it has Kaz in it so... I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Inej your sister is coming back and you know it's selfish but maybe you don't want her to return?

You knew you it was stupid, they all warned you not to. But how could you not? Those raven locks and those deep cold eyes that drew you into a endless ocean of Kaz Brekker. You knew it was silly, crazy even, but maybe that's what the world needed? Did the world need the impossible? The insane? The crazy parts?

When the ice court heist left everyone in shambles trying quickly to pick up the pieces of what you had all lost, and gained. While Nina and Matthias went off to Fjerda, Wylan and Jesper ran the markets, and Inej went off fighting slavers, you...

You stayed.

You stayed for the man that your sister held his heart, the man that you fell for. Staying in Ketterdam surprised everyone, staying with the dregs surprised them even more. You could have left with Inej, you had also been trapped in the menagerie, but your heart had told you to stop listening to your head for second. Would you be happy if you did?

No.

It was the simple yet complicated answer. You realized that you would never be happy as the barrel had become a way of life for you. You were a goddess here, why would you let that go? Ya it was selfish but the sea would shallow you whole with memories you didn't need, they almost did on the ice court heist.

You scale a building as you rip open a letter from your sister giddily, awaiting to see the words on the page that were meant for you. Taking the letter out of the envelope, your smile slowly starts to fade away into a frown as your eyes go down the page.

Dear sister,

The seas have been treating me well, the slavers seems to be cooling down a bit which leads me to my next point of this letter. I'm coming back to visit Ketterdam! I really don't know how you live there, remember the seas are always open for you! Also can you do me a quick favor and in this envelope there's another note inside here for Kaz, can you deliver it for me? Thank you!

May the Saints bless you,

With lots of love, your sister;

Inej

Dread filled you up. Maybe it was selfish however perhaps selflessness wasn't one of your qualities. But you didn't want Inej to come back, you had started something with Kaz. Building anything with Kaz was hard, much less a relationship. Would he choose her over you? The possibilities were endless of what could happen, but you saw very little outcomes where you and Kaz would stay together.

Of course he would choose her, why wouldn't he? You call yourself a goddess, yet your worried what might happen if your little lover might come into contact with your sister. Ha! Your nothing compared to the Wraith.

Shut it. You think, but the truth still lays there right in front of you. It was out in the open and you couldn't ignore it anymore. But what would you do?

Be happy for them. A voice in the back of your head whispers sadly.

Yes, that's what you would do. If they would want to be together you would help them. Selflessness may not be one of the qualities you possessed but you somehow had grabbed it off of someone else shelf. It was in your hands now, and you were going to use it.

As you start to walk back over to the Slat, one thought remains in your mind at the plan you had just formed.

What about you?

+++++++++++TIME SKIP+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wait on the docks beside Kaz, as you two stand side by side waiting for the boat The Wraith to unload. Wylan and Jesper are also there, talking to each other like there's no tomorrow. They're probably just trying to shake off the nerves. You know you are.

You nervously fiddle with your hands as it feels like Inej's crew takes forever to unload everything and start getting everything together. You may not have wanted your sister to come back but you still wanted her to be safe.

And alive. That would be enjoyable.

Finally after what seemed like a century you see the girl come out from the boat and step onto the docks. A single beam of sun light somehow seems to hit her face perfectly as she does and it makes her look like a saint.

Jealousy fills and bubbles in your gut heating to a boiling point. But you push it down because thank the saints she came back alive and unhurt. You pull her into a hug as she comes close enough to you.

While pulling away you smile at her, one of the things that you don't do very often, even so you only really do for two people. Internally you cringe for thinking about Kaz and Inej in the same thought process.

Be happy for them.

Wylan and Jesper go in for a hug and Kaz just's nods at her not liking touch. Though, his eyes still shines a certain way when he looks at her.

"How did the sea's treat you?" Kaz ask's her and Inej goes into a whole delivery of stories about her time at sea. You all started walking to a near waffle house and the one group suddenly turns into two. With Inej, Kaz, Jesper, and Wylan at the front, and you walking in the back. Alone.

For a split second you wished Nina and Matthias were here. Although Nina would like to listen to Inej's sea stories she would have stayed with you. But this is as it should be.

You didn't deserve that kind of kindness.

They go into the waffle house and you step aside into the darkness on the street, you were no Wraith but you were still a Ghafa.

They don't even notice your absence.

You watch them through the window and although it may had been a bit creepy you were sure Kaz did worse and you lived in Ketterdam so... And everything you see just confirms your suspicions.

Inej and Kaz look at each, Kaz looks her that way and quickly looks away. They share little innocent touches that would go unnoticed by the regular person but meant your world was slowly breaking. Touch, touch, touch.

Tears well up in your eyes and you push down sobs. Turning sharply to the side you run down the street for a bit before finding a building and a ladder. You scale the building with the help of the ladder not being careful enough so bruises and scrapes would probably show up. But not having enough will to care.

You go and stumble to sit down on the edge and when you do the sobs finally at last leave your throat.

There ugly and uncalled for, because why did you have the right to cry?

No. You growl in your mind.

For once you did have a good reason. Your heart just broke. By the saints even that sounds silly and stupid but you really didn't care.

People always seem to try and describe a broken heart but you absolutely cannot know what it feels like if you have not had your heart broken before.

Tears roll down your face as you continue to sob. Then abruptly... You stop.

Well, your tears silently roll down your cheeks but your sobbing stops. The full feeling finally hits you and the roll coaster you thought you would be experiencing isn't there. It's worse.

Your heart has been ripped out of your chest and it's leaving a gaping hole. Honestly, you don't think you'll ever get it back.

Pathetic, you knew it was, but maybe so was life and this is all just some sick game for someone else's enjoyment.

You barely hear it but there's a soft click of a cane and you didn't even realize it but it was already dark out.

Shit.

You know it's Kaz and you can't face him. You really can't. One because he would obviously know somethings wrong just by taking one look at your tear streaked face. Two because how could you face the man you loved, when you knew he at least liked your sister?

"I would say the stars aren't out today, but they never are in Ketterdam." You start to say, and your voice doesn't wobble but it does have a sense of finality to it.

Kaz comes and stands behind you, and you assumed that he nodded because he didn't say anything. Or maybe nothing was needed to be done or said.

"Inej sometimes said that the stars are the saints watching over us." You pause for a second looking up at the starless sky. Where are you going with this?

"If they are then Ketterdam must be out of their reach and Inej must have brought them back from the sea."

Kaz steps forward so he's even closer to you, and place's a shaky hand on your shoulder.

"I don't think that's true." Kaz whispers into the cold air of Ketterdam.

"If the saints are real and they couldn't watch over Ketterdam. But there's one saint that's always here, that could probably leave if they could but won't. One saint that must be the child of them all, because their so much more then they give themselves credit for. And that the saints sent them to watch over Ketterdam but to never leave." Kaz stops talking and he slowly sits down beside me.

You don't turn to face him you never do when you have talks like these. It's like a silent rule between the two of you, but Kaz Brekker was literally a criminal you both are. So your not nearly as surprised as you should be when he finally decides to break it.

He place's a gloveless hand under your chine and gently turns your head so your facing him. Your eyes finally meet his and everything comes into focus and-

Oh.

You've heard people say that the eyes are the entrance to the soul and maybe you didn't believe them before but it couldn't be more right. In Kaz's eyes you see what he's been trying to tell you for months, but you were so blind in thinking that Inej loved him that you didn't see his attempts. But now, you knew.

He didn't love Inej, he love's you.

He cups your cheek and slowly leans in and lightly brush's his lips on yours. It's barley a kiss but it's enough for now. It's all you could ever ask for.

"Inej love's you." It's a simple statement and Kaz just nods. You hesitate trying to think about your next few words carefully.

"I don't want to hurt her, I never could hurt her intentionally but... What should we do?"

Kaz thinks for a moment before speaking. "Inej will be out at sea and I think one day she'll find someone. She'll be out at sea and we'll break to her when she's ready. And I think whatever we have we can- can have. I know it's selfish but I've never been know for being selfless."

You just intertwine your guy's hands together in agreement while you watch the gloomy but alive streets of Ketterdam.

It's selfish, you both know it but selflessness apparently was not something in both your personality traits.

Words 1905

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung

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amindofstone · 4 years ago

Text

Match up, No. 6

@femalegoatthing said:

Hi, I saw you were doing matchups and I'm curious about them.Could I be matched with a male one piece character? I am a 20 yr old female, with a INFJ personality. I am 5'2", with red hair and glasses. I love to draw and paint, I am also obsessed with documentaries and murder podcasts. I am described as being rather chaotic and caring, like some strang goblin grandmother. Thank you so much for doing matchups, I wish you luck!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

a/n: Hi! Hello! Guten Tag! Hola! Bonjour! Okay, enough. I´m glad you requested and can´t wait to see what you think of what I came up with. Like always please be honest with me and tell me if you don´t like it, if I disappointed you or if you hated it. Tell me please. Give me a feedback so I can try my best again and make sure you are happy with the outcome. It´s just that I´m really insecure of my work and never happy. Like so far I am only happy with just one work of mine. One out of all the things I did until know. Anyways please enjoy what with come next. I wish you a happy reading!

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: Please tell me ASAP if you know who the artist is so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!

· After a bit of thinking and a tiny bit of researches I decided to pair you up with Charlotte Katakuri

· Dating someone from the Charlotte family is absolutely difficult. If there is someone they like or someone else likes they have to get a permission of every family member and of course the head of the family, Charlotte Linlin

· But if a relationship is set by the emperor herself there is nothing that can be changed

· You are the daughter of a pretty feared and well-known mafia boss. You father is known for selling different kinds of weapons. You on your side had absolutely nothing to do with his work because he made sure you never get involved in his life to much. The fact that he lost your mother because of his work is enough of a burden to him so taking care of you is the least thing he could do

· After months of not seeing your father he came back home and had a nice dinner with you. You two cooked together and he for once told you something about his work that surprised you. You didn´t questioned it and just listened to him like the good obedient daughter you are. You nodded or hummed once in a while, during your preparation for dinner to make clear that you were indeed listening to his words. Once in a while you also managed to ask some vague questions about something but that was it. You didn´t wanted him to stop after all since it was the first time after a long period he spoke about his work. So it came that at dinner your father informed you about his decision to work under the name and security of the emperor Big Mom. For a second you stopped in your tracks but quickly put yourself together and nodded without giving a comment. You were surprised but even more shocked when he told you that he was doing that since more than two years now with the condition of you marring her third child and second son Katakuri.

· Time passed and the only thing you knew was the name of the man your father wants you to marry. You never complained or asked him questions about his decision because he was always right and always wanted the best for you. So you simply agreed and packed your belongings to sail to Big Moms territory to meet you in laws

· Time flew by and you were in one of the many guest rooms in the Whole Cake Chateau waiting to be called for a meal. But two days passed by now and nothing like that happened. You were stuck in your guest room alone with your father only coming to see you for breakfast. But today was different. A guard came to inform you about a dinner with Big Mom and your future husband. You nodded and saw the guard leave your room. You were nervous and didn´t know what to do but you tried your best to smile and get ready for meeting the man you were supposed to marry soon. The first impression was important after all

· You were waiting at the dining table for Big Mom with your father when suddenly a door opened. You instantly stood up and looked at the direction just to be greeted by the emperor and her son

· A (super) tall man entered the room and made your eyes widen out of shook. But that quickly turned into a small pout when you realized that you´ll look like a dwarf next to him. You all sat down and had a conversation with Big Mom and her son. More precisely your father and the emperor. You and the man who sat in front of you were only giving short agreements to questions once in awhile but other than that sat quietly.

· You were lost in your thoughts when you heard your soon to be mother in law tell you that you and her son should talk in the room next door promising that you would be alone. You nodded and sat up to follow the enormous tall man who lead you into a living room with couches, a bar, three huge windows, a chimney and some bookshelf’s. Without talking Katakuri gave you and a sign to sit down. Soon after he sat down too, right after he got you a drink and placed it in front of you. At first none of you talked but that changed after the man cleared his throat and introduced himself. It started with a simple small talk and questions about you and your origin. You knew he wanted to have an overview of what kind of person you were that he was about to marry soon. And you didn´t opposed to it and tried you best to show yourself on a good light while making sure to be honest.

· “I know that you aren´t happy about this marriage but there is nothing we can do. Let´s make the best out of it and try to get along as good as possible. I don´t expect you to spend time with me or call me your husband when it´s not necessary or even love me. The only thing I want from you is honesty and loyalty towards me and my family.”, said the man in a calm and reassuring voice. You should have been happy that he didn´t force you to anything but just honesty but you weren´t. You felt bad about him thinking you would be ashamed of calling him your husband just because it was an arranged marriage. “I promise you that I will do my best to please you and your family as good as I can. And if you thing that I hate you or the situation I am in, I can assure you that it is not like that. You seem to be a nice, well mannered man and I have absolutely no problem in being called your wife. If there is anything I can do for you never hesitate to tell me. Like you said. Let´s make the best out of it.”, you gave him a loving smile and talked a bit more while keeping a respectful distance from each other.

· Time flew by and you got married. After your marriage you got to learn your family in law better and got pretty close to a lot of them. You tried to show you from the best side although you were an introverted person. Katakuri knew this and respected you for that a lot. He really appreciated your effort in getting to know his siblings. It was really hard for you in the beginning but with time you stared to like some of them a lot and so it came that you found people to spend time with when Katakuri was taking care of his work as the minister of the flour island

· Living with Katakuri was the absolutely easiest thing of the whole marriage. You barely saw him or got time to spend with him. He never was home for any meals so it was always you or one of your siblings in law. One of them was always Brulee that took care of you and spend time with you. You didn´t mind that you couldn´t see your husband at the beginning because you both talked about this before your wedding a lot and he made sure to prepare you for a living with him. You told him that you were fine with it but slowly with weeks passing it started to bother you. Months passed and you took it personal and wondered if he avoided you on purpose or even hated you.

· It was a Friday evening. You had your dinner like any other day alone and sat down afterwards to paint a bit. You once told your husband that you liked painting and if you could turn a room in your shared house into an atelier but he didn´t mind and send you people to help you decorate the room after your likings. You were busy painting you latest work when you heard someone walking towards the room you were in. Your first thought was Brulee so you smiled and called her. “Brulee, I´m in my atelier. Come in.” You were about to turn around and look at the door when you let out a little scream. “I´m sorry. I didn´t want to scare you. Were you waiting for my sister?”, you husband spoke in his deep but calm voice. You shook your head and put you brush aside. “No you didn´t scare me. It´s just that I didn´t expect to see you home this early. Is everything alright?”. With a worried gaze you looked into the eyes of the tall man that shook his head slowly and apologized for disturbing you before he left to probably get in his room.

· You were nervous and confused of his sudden appearance at home. Thousand of thoughts ran around your head and raised you nervousness. But you gave yourself a little slap on the cheek and went to prepare him a little snack. You prepared him a tray with tea and donuts and knocked on his room. For a long time there was no response so you thought he might have been asleep out of exhaustion. With a little disappointed sigh you turned to leave when you heard a soft come in. Your eyes widen and you started to shake slightly. With a racing heart you opened the door and tried to avoid any eye contact. “I got you something to eat. Do you want me to leave it for you?”

· Katakuri was surprised. Why would you get him something and care for him? He had his maids and butlers that would get him anything he wanted so why would you do that? That absolutely didn´t make sense to him. You heard him thank you before you put the tray on the coffee table and wished him a good night.

· After that night he seemed to come back home earlier more often that caused you to wonder what changed in his work. You were confused and curious but never had the courage to ask him until Brulee asked you if her stubborn brother started to come home earlier. You were surprised and stared at her for who knows how long thinking if she was looking at her through the mirrors but the woman told you that she had a serious chat with him and made him change some of his habits.

· A year passed and you and Katakuri started to talk with each other more. You learned about his likings and his disliking. He told you about his work and showed you his office. He once even took you on a walk around the town to show you one of his favorite bakeries. It took the both of you a lot of time to get used to the fact you were married but at some time it happened. You would spend evenings together talking or playing chess what always turned to be harder than it should be because of his Haki that allowed him to look in the future. He would never admit it but he really enjoyed, in fact even loved seeing you get mad over him using his Haki at you. You would always call him cheater and pout the rest of the night until he would apologize with a donut.

· You were happy that you somehow managed to turn the marriage less awkward, sad and dull but there was still something not right. You felt sad when he would leave for work and get worried when he left for missions. Whenever he would come back you would have the need to hug him and thank god that he was doing fine but you always held back. Your actions made you realize that you started to like him. Even more than just like him. Cause you fell for him. So you tried you best to get closer to him by once in a while holding his hand not knowing that it made his heart do flips. Whenever you would take his hand in yours even if it was just for a second you feared him to push you away or having to start all over again from cero in your relationship

· One day you caught a horrible cold. You had no energy to move, talk or eat. You were laying in your bed like a corpse. Brulee and Pudding took care of you the whole time and never left your side. But it was a moment that made them scream in fear. You lost you concisions and made them worry to death. Brulee out of panic jumped through your mirror to go and get her brother. Screaming his name she jumped out of a mirror in the serious looking man’s office telling him that his wife is doing horrible and lost conscious. The usually calm Katakuri jumped out of his chair in a matter of a second following his sister through the mirror to get to you. To their luck the moment they came back running into your bedroom you were awake.

· “Y/N? What happened? Pudding why didn’t you call a doctor yet? Brulee go wet the towel.”, both of his sisters were again running around the house with worry written all over their faces. But not only were the women worried, your husband himself was worry itself but he made sure to not show any trait of that. He sat down next to you on the massive bed and took your tiny hand carefully in his and drew circles on the back of it.

· “Katakuri why are you here? I am fine. There is nothing to worry. It´s late did you had lunch?”, “You´re sick. You shouldn´t worry about me now.”, you shook your head and wanted to sit up when the man next to you kept you in place. “You can take care of my meals when you´re healthy again. Until then make sure to take care of yourself.” You had no energy to fight back so you gave a slight nod and let your husband and his sisters take care of you.

· Time passed and it got dark. Brulee and Pudding said their goodbyes and made sure to explain Katakuri how to take care of you and if her state got worse to call the doctor again. When they left Katakuri was about to go up to his room when the thought of you being alone hit him. A bit unsure whether he should stay with you or not he walked back to you room and light up some candles before he took of his shoes and sat down next to you on the bed. He was nervous. His heart was racing and his mind was an absolute mess. But his face? The definition of calm. You felt his presence next to you and smiled. You thanked him and took his big hand in yours and let sleep take over you once again.”No need to thank me doll.”

· And just like that it was the first time he ever called you by something else than your name but also the first night he shared a room with you.

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