#this is a vague post about my roomie

[foxghost]

long-suffering sigh

[kitnita]

perhaps one thing of note in all the stacy’s mom-ing of one ty dellandrea is that jake oettinger’s special little goodbye post for delly famously included the hashtag #toppinty ............ the sharks babies can want delly all they want but i’m pretty sure he will not fuck them. like canonically. to get the prize of ty ‘stacy’s dad’ dellandrea they have to first commit to #toppinty. otter’s goodbye post also featured the hashtag #doubledelly though so they CAN share him if that’s any consolation

[covesdadappreciation]

[Going through basically every step] Renee Murray x FTM Reader

Fluff

I always refer to Renee and [Name] as their current pronouns and will only refer to them as their former terms when referring to something they said when they were younger/at the age they used those terms. 

Heads up, Writing this is confusing for me because the OL’s school grade system is vague for my understanding, so the timeline might be confusing or it’s just me…

[Name] and Renee.

The two most fucking oblivious people in the whole world.

Even Tamarack noticed. 

Renee and [Name] have been the closest of friends since elementary school. 

Sure, not at the very beginning when they met considering that [Name] was born female and only realized he was trans in High school. Renee, back in the 5th grade when she’d met [Name], wasn’t a huge fan of girls. She thought that girls were a distraction, envy covered with disinterest in anyone who identified as a girl and some internalized misogyny perchance. 

It only took a couple weeks for Renee to finally get used to [Name]’s attempts in starting their friendship, and I mean it took effort. Renee’s stubborn, no doubts about it. So when they met [Name], all she could think was ‘what a dumb girl. I’m never going to be friends with her!’ and made it their mission. 

Unsurprisingly, [Name] can also be stubborn with a mission. 

He made origami animals, brought a handful of nature from Tamarack’s backyard, and post-it notes to put in an envelope. Then it would be safely secured in [Name]’s bag until Renee would visit her mom’s classroom or when the group would hang out to be delivered into Renee’s hands. 

And for 3 weeks, this went on and on until Qiu convinced Renee to at least try being friends, which somehow worked. 

[Name] took the illusory award of Renee’s friendship with pride, making sure to enjoy every aspect. [Name] had invited her to his house countless times, had figured out every single little thing that Renee enjoys or hates based on observation (because god forbid Renee ever talk about her feelings), made gifts for her, and visited her class whenever possible as the years passed on. In return, Renee gradually began to return those actions, and more. Inside jokes, getting each other food, leaning on each other both physically and emotionally, and always being protective of one another. 

So imagine Renee’s horror when [Name] was starting to “haunt” her mind. [Name] was suddenly the person that Renee imagined being roomies with, wanting to hang out with him constantly, occasionally getting jealous if anyone ever tried to get as close as she and [Name] are.

“I can’t like her!”  She had complained, “She’s… her.” Renee didn’t want to lose her best friend. The one person who she understood and cared for the most, more than she did for Qiu. Hell, anyone else should’ve been her crush, but [Name]? This was going to fucking hurt if this goes wrong. So Renee made a promise to herself that this growing realization was never leaving the mind palace. This is gonna be a pain.

Little did she know that [Name] was juggling those same thoughts as well… just… differently. 

“They’re never going to like me! I’m going to have to explain so much. What if they don’t like me? What if my transition changes things?” [Name] doubted, “and then what? We just, what, go on dates? Or would we stay only friends? No one’s prepared me for this!”

So baby steps.

[Name] came out to Renee, Tamarack, and Qiu on bowling night that [Name] forced them on.

“I’m trans.” He states simply as he came back from a roll.

“You missed.” “Congrats!” “What?” The trio all said in a jumbled mess. [Name]’s eyes were mainly stuck on Renee’s reaction, noticing how her look turned soft. No judgment, no bitter or distant look… more so a sense of pride and ease. [Name] sat back down next to Renee while it was Qiu’s turn, getting a firm comforting side hug from Renee. 

She’s the prettiest person [Name] had ever seen.

And [Name] was the most handsome person Renee had ever seen.

Two years later, on Renee’s birthday, [Name] was the last person to stay for the party. The both of them sitting on Renee’s front porch, a smoky feel to the autumn air, faint smell of cinnamon coming from the Murray household. Renee paused for a moment, opening and closing her mouth, trying to find the right words for something. 

“How’d you figure out your whole… trans thing?” Renee asks softly, the words barely wanting to escape her. 

“Oh- uhm” [Name] straightens his back, furrowing his brows to think.

Renee catches how sudden the question is, groaning into their hands before muttering out a quick “Sorry, sorry. You don’t have to answer- and maybe wrongly worded, I just… you’re the only one I could imagine asking this to, so…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Renee! Let me think” [Name] reassures, looking away before explaining every thought and personal feeling that they felt safe to share with Renee. A small gut feeling in [Name] knew there was a reason she had asked, but he knew it wasn’t his place to prod. Even if there was a cautious approach to her voice that probably said it all in hindsight. All [Name] knew was that he had to give her space and a chance to open up if necessary.

“--So yeah. That’s when I decided I had to tell you guys.” [Name] shrugged, looking back at Renee. 

A small moment of silence followed afterwards, uncertainty painting Renee’s face. It almost made [Name] wonder if he said something wrong until he felt Renee place her head on his shoulder. 

“...Thank you for telling me” she exhaled sharply, her upper body going slightly limp as to try and relax herself.

Renee was the kindest soul that [Name] had ever met.

And [Name] was the most patient boy Renee had ever met. 

Once in their 20s, high school over with and their futures now fully in their own hands, the dating rumors were finally over with. Sure, Qiu and Tamarack were the main instigators, but it was surely not because they saw something that Renee and [Name] refused to see!

So what if Renee finally came out and the first person they told was [Name] and they both went out to celebrate at the diner? So what if Renee and [Name] were making plans to room together in an apartment? So what if [Name] bakes sweets for Renee, and Renee cooks for [Name]? And what if Renee and [Name] are each other’s closest “oh-so-definitely platonic soulmates”?

It isn’t like Renee had told Qiu about her crush, nor did [Name] tell Tamarack…

Definitely not.

No.

Never. 

It’s not like Qiu and Tamarack connected the dots in middle school and have tried everything in their power to get the two of them to finally just get together. 

—

“You have to tell her” Tamarack huffed, messaging her forehead, “She totally likes you!”

“It’s going to eat me alive if she rejects me! What if we stop being friends?” [Name] whined.

“What if you guys end up getting together and having the most loving relationship for the rest of your lives?” Tamarack exclaimed.

—

“How would I even start? Just go up and say ‘I’ve had a crush on you since we were in middle school! Surprise!’” Renee ran a hand through her hair and tugged lightly, 

“Yes!” Qiu yelled out, “That’s almost perfect!” 

—

“I can’t fuck this up, Tammy” [Name] sighed

“Then don’t. Go up to her.”

—

Imagine me this. It’s a Sunday night in Golden Grove’s park after dinner at a restaurant. Two people with one single goal in mind. Confess their fucking hearts out. Both of them unusually dressed up more formal than normal, fidgeting hands, nervous glances and laughter, but the comfortableness between two people who have known each other for years makes it bearable. 

These love dorks were [Name] and Renee. 

The only ones sitting on a bench, sitting in odd positions but deeming it comfortable somehow, (though it may be the reason they have back problems) and on the verge of exploding over how terrifying and exciting this is. 

“Renee-” “[Name]” They start

“Shit, sorry. Go ahead” [Name] bowed his head slightly. Renee cleared her throat, “Right, so… I think that you should know that I think your presence is great.”

“That’s good to know” [Name] chuckles,

“...Would you say you feel about the same?”

“I would die for you” [Name] states seriously at first, blank face before smiling to make sure that it was a lighthearted comment (but he probably would,) “But yeah, of course I enjoy your presence. We’ve been partners in crime for… basically our entire lives”

“Right right-”

“And you know, we might as well be together for the rest of our lives because we’re gonna live together, and I like you, and if you like me too we could get better tax returns if we ever got married–” [Name] began to ramble.

“What?” Renee raised a brow.

“I mean- maybe you don’t like me! We could still get married to get those tax returns- or not get married at all!” [Name] panics throughout the confession, “And by me liking you isn’t because of the tax returns! I really do just like you, I have for years, like middle school or highschool, but I didn’t want to scare you away and have to make all those origami animals all over again! Fuck, this is not how I wanted this to go–”

[Name] hides his face into his hands for a moment, groaning in disbelief towards himself, “I like you. That’s what I was trying to get at. I made it a lot more difficult than needed”

“I saw that” Renee giggled, flicking [Name]’s shoulder, “That may have been the most dorkiest or worst confession I have ever heard in my entire life, I’m still debating.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” [Name] was interrupted.

“Now I’m not saying I don’t like you, [Last Name]. I’m just saying that your confession was out of this world. Not that I was going to do better than that either, but you know,” Renee shrugs, “I like you. I have for years now too…”

[Name] finally gains the courage to lift his eyes up to look at Renee, “Seriously?”

“Very seriously. You’re very important to me, [Name]. The most handsome man I’ve ever met, the boy I grew to love, someone I didn’t think I’d love or wait this long for, but you made every second worth it.” Renee gives a small smile, breathing in the foggy autumn feel. 

“I think we’re soulmates” [Name] says plainly, “Because no matter what would've happened, if in some alternate universe there was some kind of obstacle that tried to stop us from being together, we would’ve found a way back to each other no matter what. I know I would.” [Name] adds, placing his hand over Renee’s hand. 

They both exchange a gentle look, Renee’s fingers play with [Name]’s rings, intertwining their hands together. They lean in closer, and the giddy feeling of waiting after so many years practically swallows [Name] whole. 

It wasn’t a shock to find that Renee was a gentle kisser, cautious to make sure that they’re both enjoying it, occasionally splitting away and coming back, as if still starving for more affection. Eyes closed, feeling their hands still together… Each other’s first kiss. 

Two people that will always try to understand each other. Two people who don’t even need to try and find the beauty within one another because they see it constantly no matter what.

[vivalas-vega]

Oooh my, your requests are freaking open???? I've got an idea in my head for a long time and now I give it a try and send it to you. I'm obsessed with Jake (and Bradley) x Roomie (fem reader or oc) trope, so apologies in advance for this one (also a sucker for hurt and comfort 😬). I try to keep it as short as possible: Rooster's and Hangman's new roomie has a sad past. She has sleeping issues and bad nightmares. They hear her whimpering and crying in her sleep. The guys are worried but she plays it down, feeling bad for waking them up with her shit. Maybe she starts to sleep walking and unfortunately hurts herself during this episode. The guys find her in the middle if the night hurt. And she opens up to them telling them about her dreams and her past.

ahhhh !!! I'm so glad to finally get this one posted, I'm so sorry it took so long ! I am such a sucker for the roommate trope, and I love writing stories that are strictly platonic, just focusing on lovely friendship vibes bc those are just as important as the romantic ones !!! I hope you enjoy!

(this doesn't have a title yet bc it's admittedly the thing I'm the worst at when it comes to writing fics)

word count: 2.4k

warnings: mentions of alcohol, some suggestive humor, language, brief and vague mentions of death, lmk if I missed any

“Are you going to eat these leftovers?” you asked Bradley, who was sitting at the kitchen island keeping you company as you cleaned out the fridge and he stared at the tupperware container for an infuriatingly long time, contemplating his options before you let out an exasperated sigh. “Bradshaw, it’s pasta. Yes or no?”

“No,” he finally answered. “You’re in a mood.” 

“No mood, it would just be nice if you could be snappier in your responses while you just watch me clean the kitchen.”

“Yeah, definitely not in a mood,” he muttered under his breath but you heard it anyway. “Do you know where Hangman is?”

“You two share a bathroom and you still can’t call him by his name?” you asked with a chuckle. “He’s at the gym, should be back soon.”

“We only share a bathroom because you got the master,” he protested and you laughed again.

“I needed the bigger closet,” you shrugged. “I told you you’re welcome to use mine anytime.”

“After you reamed me for using your face wash? Thank you, but no thank you, I haven’t been yelled at like that since I borrowed my moms car to take Cindy Daniels on a date.”

“I only yelled because you used a forty dollar cleanser as body wash and somehow managed to use half the bottle. Besides, your mom was right to yell at you too, you stole her car and you were thirteen.”

“I was covered in grease! And my date with Cindy is none of your business.” 

“Are we having the face wash fight again?” Jake asked as he came in through the garage, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he reached around you to grab a bottle of water, but you only pushed him away, muttering something about keeping his sweat away from you. “Take the blame, Chicken, you wasted half a bottle of Drunk Elephant, you’re lucky she didn’t put you on the porch for the night.”

“See, the craziest thing about this whole situation is you were just as outraged as she was.”

“Good skincare is not just for women, you might want to invest in a routine of your own.” he smirked before disappearing down the hallway and you heard the sound of the shower turning on.

“You working tomorrow?” Bradley asked, getting up to wash the containers you’d placed near the sink.

You shook your head, “a Friday and Saturday off, Penny was feeling extra generous.” You’d met the two of them, along with the rest of the team, when they’d first gotten to town for the infamous and secretive mission that almost claimed the life of the man currently donning cherry-printed cleaning gloves and scrubbing pasta sauce out of tupperware. You’d all become fast friends, they’d coax you out from behind the bar on your breaks or when your shift was over for darts or pool, and when your lease was up just as they received word of a permanent assignment it seemed to make sense for the three of you to find a place together. It was a godsend for you, it got you out of your cramped apartment with dismal lighting and into a beautiful craftsman only a few blocks away from the beach. Even with arguments with Bradley about face wash and a sweaty Jake, it was a no-brainer.

“Could we convince you into coming to your place of work on a night off? These new recruits are testing our patience, Phoenix wants a fun night out to blow off steam.”

“I could potentially be persuaded,” you replied, shutting the fridge after deeming it was as cleared out as it was going to get. 

“Which translates to as long as I’m not mixing them, I’ll always show up for drinks,” Jake said, walking back into the kitchen with freshly washed hair. “Do I get any kind of welcome home now that I’m not sweaty?” 

“No, because now you’re wet, did you even dry off?” you asked, snapping him with a dish towel before he rounded the island and wrapped his arms around you.

“Enough,” he answered, squeezing you tight as you pretended to hate it. Really, you loved living with these two. Being on your own before was starting to take its toll on you, and they reminded you of a different time in your life, one that felt like it was ancient history. “Not to dampen the mood, but… we did want to talk to you about something.”

“Sounds serious, should I break out the house meeting wine?” you asked, eyeing them skeptically as they shared a look with each other that you couldn’t quite decipher.

“We just wanted to… check in,” Bradley started and you raised your eyebrows. “The past few weeks we’ve heard certain sounds coming from your room and-”

“Okay, first of all,-” you started to cut him off, eyes wide at what you thought he was insinuating.

“Not like that, sweetheart,” Jake interjected. “But feel free to get louder when you do,” he half-joked and you hit him with the towel again. “What bird boy is trying to say is sometimes we hear what sounds like nightmares coming from your room and it’s happened enough that we just want to check in and see if everything is okay.” You suddenly felt nauseous. 

“If there’s something going on, or you need someone to talk to, you know we’re here, right?” Bradley asked and you nodded softly.

“I know, everything is fine, I’m sorry if I woke you.” you said, trying to dismiss their concerns altogether as you occupied yourself with looking over the mail.

“It’s just… it doesn’t sound fine, if you don’t want to talk to us we can help you find someone else to talk to, we just want to make sure you’re okay.” Jake tried and you gave him a forced smile.

“And I am, but I’m glad the two of you finally found something to agree on.” You tossed some junk mail in the garbage before turning to face them again, “I have some errands I want to run early tomorrow morning… text me if you need anything from the store but I’m going to turn in. Goodnight,” you said with another forced smile before heading down the hall and letting out a sigh as your back pressed against your closed bedroom door. You thought that things had gotten better… that enough time had passed. They seemed to be happening less and less, but maybe that wasn’t as true as you once thought. 

Your footsteps down the hallway were an unusual sound for this time of night… nightmares or not, once you went to bed you weren’t seen until the following morning and it was enough to stir Jake from his slumber. You on the other hand, were completely unaware of what was going on, still stuck in a dream, stuck in a fluorescent lit hallway with tears streaming down your face only you weren’t… you were in your living room, walking straight into the console table and falling onto the broken glass of the picture frames and vases you’d knocked over which was enough to jolt both of them out of bed. 

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” Bradley asked, crouching down beside you as you came to.

“Mav- Maverick?” you asked, voice hoarse as you struggled to place where you were, the images from your dream still fresh in your mind. He looked at Jake confused who was on the other side of you and carefully pushing glass aside.

“No, it’s Bradley… Honey, what happened?” You blinked a few times, finally recognizing you were on the floor of your living room and the searing pain of broken glass in your palms and knees.

“I don’t- oh my god. I’m so sorry,” you winced as you tried to stand but Jake was quick to scoop you up, holding you tight as he walked to the kitchen and carefully placed you next to the sink while Bradley grabbed the first aid kit. “I- I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m okay, you can go back to bed.” He just frowned at you and when Bradley returned he started pulling the shards from your palms while Jake worked on your knees. Silent tears were still streaming down your face and they were both trying to figure out how to ask you what was wrong, but one thing they knew for certain was no one was going back to bed until they got to the bottom of what was going on with you.

“Sweetheart, do you want to tell us what’s going on?” Jake asked softly, looking up briefly to meet your eyes before gently running his thumb along your cuts, making sure there weren’t any pieces he missed. 

You shook your head as you wiped your cheeks, “nothing, I just… I don’t know, I guess I was half-asleep? I’m really sorry I woke you,” you said and they both looked at you like they didn’t believe a word of it.

“Alright, I was willing to maybe let it go before but you could have been seriously hurt tonight. Something is going on with you,” Jake said, voice firm as he stopped what he was doing to wipe a few of your tears.

“Whatever it is, you can tell us. Why did you say Maverick’s name when you woke up?” Bradley asked and you closed your eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath before letting it all out. 

“I uh… there’s something I never told you about me.” you started, taking a moment to breathe as you felt your throat tighten. They stayed quiet, both carefully dabbing at your cuts with a damp cloth or rubbing aquaphor over them before bandaging them. “I wasn’t a teacher before realizing I liked bartending more, I was a pilot.”

“Wait, what?” Bradley asked, shock evident in his tone and Jake elbowed him, eyes silently pleading for you to continue. 

“My callsign is- or was Flash… like the superhero,” you chuckled but there wasn’t much humor in it and both of their eyes widened. “I was on a mission that went south really fast,  we were outnumbered and outgunned, we ran out of resources quickly. I was hit, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t save it, I couldn’t save him.” you choked out.

“Who?” Bradley whispered, you were all cleaned up now and they were both focused solely on you. Jake was rubbing reassuring circles on your thigh as Bradley held one of your hands in his own.

“My wizzo, we called him Genie… we both got to our squad at the same time, and on our first night out his icebreaker was if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?” You laughed again, but this time it was genuine.

“I’ve heard of him,” Jake said, noticing your breathing quicken just at the mention of him. “Both of you, actually, from what I’ve heard you were a hell of a pilot.”

“He couldn’t eject, something went wrong with the handles… I’d already pulled mine when I heard him say they were stuck and the next thing I know the jet is crashing into a hillside below me. I thought the dreams were getting better, and that I was maybe starting to move past it… I don’t think I really registered that it was happening again, or maybe that it never stopped.” 

“Honey, why didn’t you tell us this sooner?” Bradley asked, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear and you focused your gaze on your hands.

“I just… I didn’t want you to know that I failed my wizzo,” you choked out. “Or that the last time I was in a cockpit I nearly crashed again and Mav had to talk me through landing a plane I’ve landed thousands of times before because I panicked. I didn’t want you guys to censor yourselves when it came to work stuff out of pity for me being a failed pilot, and I guess… I just didn’t want you guys to look at me differently.”

“Hey, what happened wasn’t your fault,” Jake said, squeezing your thigh gently and prompting you to look up at him. “And we would never look at you differently for that, we understand.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that… and just know that we don’t think of you as a failure. We’ve both heard about that mission, there was nothing you could have done. Faulty equipment and being outgunned is not your burden to bear.” Bradley added, running a hand along your back.

“What is it that you say sometimes? It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot?” you asked, sadness seeping into your tone and he just pulled you into his side and pressed a kiss to your head.

“There’s not much the pilot can do if the plane fails them.”

“You went through a trauma, we would never fault you for not flying again after that.” Jake said and you smiled softly.

“Mav could… god, he tried so hard, he was really there for me after it happened, but… when I finally got back into a plane I just couldn’t shake it. It was like I could still hear him in my backseat even though he wasn’t there.”

“Just because Mav could, that doesn’t mean you’re a lesser pilot or a lesser person for not being able to, if anything I think it makes you stronger. You knew your limits, and instead of pushing through it when you couldn’t trust flying again you took a step back. I know a lot of people who wouldn’t make that same choice.” Bradley said, nudging Jake and you let out a laugh as you wiped your face again.

“Yeah, I thank my lucky stars I never crossed this one’s path when I was still flying,” you said and Jake’s face twisted up in shock.

“Hey, why are we ganging up on me now?” he asked and you laughed again. 

“You make it so easy,” you teased and they both smiled, happy to see you coming back into yourself a little.

“We’re here for you, okay? So is everyone else,” Bradley said, pulling you into him again and you let yourself wrap your arms around him as you laid your head on his chest and Jake kept rubbing circles into your skin.

“No matter what, you can always come wake us up if you need someone.”

“I love you guys, you know that?” 

You could hear the smirk in Jake’s voice as he said, “oh, we know.” He wrapped himself around the other side of you as the two of them squished you between them. “We love you too.”

taglist: @callsignspirit @thegodessc @failuretothrivestuff @olliepig @cruelmissdior @underaveragefangirl @grxcieluvr @amatswimming @camilaricci @nolita-fairytale @dempy @pinkpantheris @aviatorobsessed @tiredqueen73 @pono-pura-vida @binnieslove @nik2blog @waklman @abaker74 @halstead-severide-fan @percysaidnever @memeorydotcom @eli2447 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @djs8891 @Genius2050 @stargazer-88 @chloeforde @kmc1989 @casa-boiardi (if your name is struck through, it means I couldn't tag you - sorry!)

[rrredgi]

A small collection of oil paintings that I'm proud of :) more under the cut

These are two fish paintings I made for mom. First one is a copy of a painting from the movie Aquarius that she remembered (so I found the movie and the fish just by her vague description which I'm also proud of)

This one was supposed to be given to my English grammar teacher but on the day of my graduation I got super anxious about it and also couldn't find the teacher, so it stayed with me. I wanted to paint it over with something new but dad said to leave it be :(

This was a screenshot of a Nova Scotia view from a series my sister likes. I painted it for her on an old bedsheet to cover an ugly spot on her dorm wall (she's now moved out but she always keeps all my paintings on display and I wanna cry every time)

This Kermit meme has been posted here before, it's hanging in our childhood bedroom :)

A portrait of my roomie's cat (on the same bedsheet as the landscape btw)

And this swag guy I painted from a pinterest photo that I can't find now.... (gifted to friend)

(reached the pic limit but I also found some process pics for the skull)

I'm not super confident in oil painting, but it's one of the most fun mediums to me.

[animation-is-my-jam]

How do you think College would Go for becky's friend circle (plus the others in her age range)? I know you most explore about them in either High School and in adulthood ( like in your Fic and Fan children ). But I'm curious.

Hey thanks for the ask! This is a good one.

Yeah, you're very observant in how I don't really focus on that part of when I do Wordgirl time-skip stories, for example in my current fic I always allude to specific things in college but I haven't straight up wrote about them in college. To me, that's a nebulous 4 to 6 years of vagueness where anything could happen lmao, either for lazy plot reasons or to make some crazy headcanons/jokes out of it. But you know what, sure, I'll give some ideas about what i would do if I had to headcanon the Woodview kids in college:

Becky: I feel like her being an English major is a given with also some creative writing and linguistics pursuits thrown in there. Becky would probably let herself become way more loose in college because girl has been on the school grind for so long she kinda needs it. I could see her trying to be a more reckless party gal during those years (and she cringes at that as an adult). But she also strikes me as the person who would stay up all night to do every assignment as soon as she gets them because she fears procrastination. (Becky starts to see the appeal of coffee). Whether she's still Wordgirl or not, it depends, but I think she would either retire or take a break as Wordgirl when she starts college. For her sanitys sake. She would stay in dorms and probably have maybe Rose or Scoops as a roommate or heck, maybe someone random like Emma or Emily. But... of course, it's a Jam post, so tobecky has to be brought up (i will be put to death after this dw ^v^) After having a dorm roomie for some time, I can see her and Tobey moving into an apartment together during their later years so they don't have to be apart for too much (they go to different schools). But I also like to imagine a mutual tobecky break-up during college, so that's funny to think about. Bob isn't with her during college, "pets" aren't allowed in the dorms, and the college staff isn't buying that he could be a short 40 year-old hairy student, and he's left behind, unfortunately.

Scoops: Easy enough, I can see him attending the same college/university as Becky since they both focus on writing and more liberal arts pursuits. Scoops would be very excited in college due to a lot of things. However, that means also procrastinates and forgets the most out of the group. I can see him absolutely trying to take over the school's news network and campus life updates, but he would have to get through some of the older students. Also, Rose still being his rival if she also attends the same UN. His major is 100 percent journalism, but I can see him being such a photographer fanatic since he wants to capture this era of their lives. He is also probably in some internship program with a news company during college.

Violet: I like to think Violet would get hella art scholarship opportunities, and of course, she's majoring in Art. She's definitely not going to more liberal arts or public universities, so she's going to be away from her friends :( I can see her being the first one to travel abroad for her studies, she's the one who would do all sorts of adventures and write about them to Becky and the others. She will visit when she can, but she'll be busy somewhere in like Italy painting and making more friends than ever before. She's the free spirit of them and definitely has formed some eco-friendly clubs or yoga classes with some students.

Rex: Despite how I headcanon him to be TJ and Johnson's age. I have it that they skip grades to join the friend group in their college years. Rex would absolutely major in mathematics, but I feel like they would stay in university the longest to achieve almost everything that field has to offer so he can have a lot of titles like a doctor or professor. Heck, I can see them teaching some classes while still being a student, lol. I don't know if they would go to the same university as Becky, Scoops, and Rose--probably not. They seemed like they would go out of the city for an Ivy league type school in like a nearby state. He'll be alone a bit since he's still adjusting to making earth their permanent earth, but they'll get the hang of it with some new people to meet. (Would still be a superhero during college).

Tobey: Even though he had a chance to attend college much earlier than the others, he rejected it in order to just live life a bit more in high school before getting swallowed up by studies. Tobey would absolutely get taken by any technical university or institute that could take him. At first, he considered a out of state university, but he didn't want to move far away from his new life he's built up, so he would settle for an institute that Steven and other professors would have gone to. I'm not saying most of that decision would be a (doesn't want to be too away from his friends) decision but...yeah it would. Haha. Okay, so obviously, Tobey's major and field is in robotics (Wow, who would have thought), but other than that, i have this particular headcanon that I know nobody understands, and I haven't shared yet, but I love it okay! So you know how some people discover their own beliefs and philosophies in college that were so different that you might think for them? Well... I have this idea for Tobey, aside from all the robotics... he starts caring a lot about women studies and starts minoring in it...yup! My boy becomes a whole feminist and gets really passionate about it. He's all about women in STEM and actually meets most of his newer friends through it. He goes to college protests and has written essays. Yeah... I can't believe Tobey McCallister turns woke...(but this is what would happen when the most important people in his life have always been strong women. It'll be crazy if he didn't have a strong respect for that).

Rose: I said in the other descriptions how she would be in the same school as Becky and Scoops. Rose's major is, of course, investigative journalism, but that would require her to also be in the social sciences. In addition to that, I can also imagine her being interested in criminal sciences too. She would compete with Scoops in the school news but technically join forces to beat out the upper-class men. Her nosey behaviors don't get better at college/university. If anything, they get worse by how much content of secrets she can learn from the drama of student life on campus.

And yeah, those are my ideas. Again thx for the ask. This was fun to think about, and I'm sorry if it took a while to answer, I keep forgetting when people talk about the Woodview gang. To me, that's like 7 characters (T△T)

Victoria: Finally, my girl is going to thrive. College would be very good for her, and I think it's the part of her life where she does mellow a lot from the terrible tendencies her parents instilled, more than she did in high school. Victoria being exceptional at everything really did have her (and me) struggle at what specific thing she would major in or what kind of school she would attend. I think a popular idea for her is to just attend some fancy university, but she's mostly doing something like the Olympics. I think that's fair, but I like having different interpretations. One of my fav Victoria headcanons is that music is the talent out of all of them that she's actually passionate about, but of course, her parents turned it into something manipulative. So, in college age, she gets accepted into a music institute or college like Berkeley/Juilliard, and there she really has the freedom to do whatever with music. That does mean she'll also be apart from the others, too, but girlie kinda needs a break from them, lol. (Except Rose because I have an agenda to keep). Victoria would also be more lively and reckless in college life, she already was like that in high school, but when it comes to performing she does take it seriously, probably too much from the trauma of needing to impress people :(

Bonus: Eileen goes to the same school as Becky, but nobody knows what she's majoring in. All they know is that she becomes head of a sorority and they have a "mine" philosophy.

[whilomm]

Hey, so this is kinda off the wall, but I need to find a roommate but I'm so anxious about it, did you use a certain website? Or like do you have any roommate finding tips?

oh yeah i was super nervous about it too bc of previous bad experiences (with college apartments that were auto-matched), i guess my tips would be from someone whos only done this manually Once:

worth a shot, straight up ask if any of your friends need a roomie. sometimes things line up! didnt for me atm (aside from one friend who said "oh maybe in like 2 years but maybe not")

try and keep in mind that if it doesnt work out its not Forever if that helps you not freak out as much. like, maybe yall stay to the end of the lease and split, or if yall have to split before than eh youre just starting the matching process over again. getting that thru my head helped me lmao

as for websites, yeah there are a ton of specific roommate matching sites you can use, personally I just used facebook and posted in a couple of local groups with a lil thing about myself and I got some matches p quick. I live in a largerish city tho (austin tx) so if you live somewhere smaller there might not be AS big of a pool. facebook as a whole sucks of course but the groups here and there are useful!

I posted both in a more general group and a queer housing group, and i said a lil more about myself in the queer group, but you can also use your post to explicitly or gently filter out ppl you dont wanna live with. personally i did purposefully mention being autistic offhandedly just to hopefully filter out ppl wholl be cunts about that (made a lil comment about "im autistic and a super picky eater, so i wont eat your food lol"), you can explicitly say you dont wanna roomie who has pets/smokes/etc, stuff like that.

(oh, also, if you have a long abandoned facebook acct/need to make a new one, that can sometimes look a lil sus so maybe straight up say "i dont use facebook but i can give you one of my other socials if you want to snoop")

look around the website/group for examples from other people on what to include (max rent, apartment layout prefs, area, whether you already have a place picked out or not and if you'd be willing to apartment hunt w someone, timeframe, etc)

and of course actually say a lil about yourself in the listing. I know thats nerve wracking and all but eh, people wanna have a vague idea of you beforehand. List some of your hobbies/interests, normal boring stuff like that.

talk about how clean you are. and how clean you want your roomie to be. neat freaks and gross ppl may be Incompatible. "i can keep the common area clean but my rooms gonna be a mess" was my thing, and roomie is sameish, which works out!

make a listing, in multiple places if possible, and both see who contacts you and browse other peoples listings. this is defo a time to get over that fear of being the first to say hi! if someone lists a super sweet set up at a good price tho and gets 20 likes dont be surprised if they dont respond lmao, might have a waitlist going

(OH YEAH and if u havent used facebook in 10 years be aware on mobile theres a separate messaging app and you might miss ppl messaging bc of the stupid "pending" tab or whatever. a lotta ppl in the group specifically also commented "messaged!" on posts ig to just say "HEY CHECK THE OTHER STUPID APP IF IT DIDNT GIVE YOU A NOTIF", i found it REALLY easy to miss messages for a bit)

SCAMS EXIST! be cautious, dont just send ppl a "$500 deposit" off the bat, make sure you meet people IN PERSON and preferably talk to whoever you're gonna be renting from (like the leasing office if its an apt complex, or just the landlord) first before signing whatever someone on facebook sends u

as usual meet ppl in person in public places like coffee shops and tell ppl where you're going espec if you're going to look at the rental etc etc, same safety rules for meeting anyone from the internet

if you got any responsible adults in your life (like parents/family/friends who have more experience renting) just talk shit thru w them. maybe they can literally help u look at any contracts if you're not used to reading them, or maybe just chat w them about how shits going so they can just be like "oh yeah that all sounds normal they sound cool" or "YEAH THATS A RED FLAG".

oh yeah, make sure you READ YOUR LEASE. i know we all just Agree To The Terms And Conditions all the time but yeah contracts should be read. even if you dont read every word at least skim it, make sure u read the big things like the money numbers (and stuff like uh. how much notice the apt requires on move out. recently fucked over by that! 🙃). check for extra fees and numbers that are different than discussed. dont just sign whatevers put in front of you!!

think about how much Stuff you have. are you moving out for the first time and have Jack Shit? well, you probs wont have conflicts like "whos couch do we keep?" which is nice. do you currently live on your own and have p much all your own furniture? might be a lil issue if your roomie is also established! just st you gotta work out with your roommate, and if nothing else you could always get a cheap storage locker to set aside shit you dont wanna get rid of til you know its gonna work out long term. if its st important, maybe say it in your listing. personally i noted in my listing "i got a big ass couch i dont wanna get rid of" and my roommate specifically contacted me like "oh yeah the couch is chill" so all twas fine 👍

and like. try to talk shit out w your roomie when issues arise instead of letting shit boil over. gotta get good at this myself!

sorry for being long and disorganized but those are just a few of the things that popped into my head lol, +anyone else w more roomie searching experience has any advice on the matter feel free to chime in! im not really an expert or nothin but also feel free to ask more questions, i can at least try to answer!

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

Spoilers for: Jojo's Bizzare Adventure Steel Ball Run Chapter 6

This? I love it. The writing and colour pallete is very soft. Very vintage American. It looks like the posters that you would see in those 80s to 90s cream soda, cotton candy places (has never seen those kind of places in real life).

15/10 would definitely buy cream soda.

I don't know what I like more: that Johnny figured Gyro's horse's habits almost immediately or that the way it is written implies that he was shocked that a British dude figured it out as well.

I love how the horses are drawn here. They remind me of my old horse toys.

12/10 will save money for a toy horse

Yes!! It's spiny ball magic time!!! This might actually my favorite thing right now.

Also the way its drawn reminds me of Dr. Strange. It's the glowy greeness and the spinyness.

14.5/10 might actually make this my phone's homescreen

Swirls!!! I hope the horse isn't hurt tho.

11/10 looks vaguely like McDonald's soft serve cone ice cream. Vaguely.

...did the spiny ball magic give the horse enough horse power to break a bridge??!? I hope the horse's legs are alright. The force exerted on the hooves must have hurt.

The amount of times the announcer(s) rubs it in Diego's face that he can't cross the bridge is sending me. This is peak comedy.

The tents look very pretty. My roommate doesn't agree with me but this is my post so my opinion matters more (sorry roomie).

12.5/10 looks very nice

My guy... you're late. It's not 10AM anymore.

Also this guy is from Georgia. The only things I know about that place are: Scarlett O' Hara, the Coca-Cola factory, and Atlanta International Airport.

[televinita]

Things I Did Today (Productive Day #2!)

(though it becomes less of a list and more of a ramble as it goes on)

-Actually got dressed and generally ready today so that I was out the door 15 minutes after work ended (leaving me 2.25 hours to drive to and peruse a book sale)

-Bought ZERO BOOKS at this sale despite looking so so so thoroughly in every single section for over an hour. This has never happened to me before.

(But I did excitedly tell someone who wondered if Jane Eyre would be in the Fiction section that I had in fact just seen two copies in the other corner, for Classics, when the library sale volunteer didn't know!) (this lady went here with a MISSION; I saw her walking out with one of the copies to pay 5 mins later, so I Did A Good Deed)

-Dazed and confused by having left a library with zero books in hand, I decided to drive to Goodwill and look at the books there.

-I also bought zero books there but to be fair I couldn't really concentrate because first I looked at the furniture section like I have done in every Goodwill I've visited every single time all year to no avail and THIS TIME THERE WAS THE THING I WANTED.

-BOOKSHELVES

-I BOUGHT TWO BOOKSHELVES

-Small and inexpensive bookshelves, you understand, because I had to be able to transport them alone and also fit them in a Toyota Corolla, which is not known for its interior roominess or overall size in general.

-NEVERTHELESS. I bought those puppies for a grand total of $22 and I will talk more about them in a later post, we have

-Anyway. I quickstepped those over to the cashier, paid, went out and drove the car to the closest parking spot, quickstepped them outside, and proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes wiping all the cobwebs and dead spider etc. husks off (I was prepared enough to have a rag in the car for this purpose! A rag I just pitched before leaving because yucky), then wiggling them into the backseat, draped with blankets (also prepared!) to keep them from banging into each other too badly as well as keeping the rough particle board edge from tearing up the seat fabric, which also involved QUITE a lot of running around the car in actual circles, moving stuff from the already-cluttered backseat and tugging the shelves forward when I couldn't push any more from one side,etc.)

-In my haste to get home and eagerness to avoid the awful glaring hell of headlights, I took a backroad exit and missed the highway turn, so I ended up heading the wrong direction and I knew where I was, but it's an area where I can never quite remember which turns to take to get me back on track instead of farther in a different direction. I can get my bearings with trial and effort easily enough during the day, but at night, nah, especially since this starts to turn into a more rural area quick.

So I pulled into a gas station on a country road about a mile past a main intersection. The access road ahead of me is closed to through traffic but that's okay, the gas station is still brightly lit and accessible, even though it appears to be empty at 8pm on a Thursday save one vaguely sketchy car parked along the side of the lot, perpendicular to the parking spaces. As I'm pulling up to a pump, though, feeling like I want to be under the brightest lights possible, I hear a weird honking pattern and see another car has entered the lot behind me and is pulling up alongside the first car.

-OKAY, PRETTY SURE I'M ABOUT TO WITNESS A DRUG DEAL GO DOWN, DEFINITELY DON'T WANNA BE HERE FOR THAT! -- maybe the gas station is closed for duration of construction? or has weird short hours? I truly don't know -- so I turned right around without stopping ad got the hell outta dodge

(I sped 10 mph over the speed limit desperate to reach the light and safety of Normal Fellow Drivers. if I get shot for being in the wrong place at the wrong time right after scoring bookshelves I'm gonna be so pissed, is the main thought in my head*, which I'm sure is irrational but IDK, this is a brand new experience for me!) (*followed by "what the FUCK. if you asked me to name the single Least Crime / Most Safe Feeling After Dark area in the entire metro area it would be here. what is happening in the world.")

-Got back on the freeway and did NOT hit any deer, but I DID have my first sighting of an after-dark deer near a busy road, registering only as I passed that oh, that weird creepy cryptid thing with a long neck and glowing eyes is a doe deciding if she should Try It tonight.

-Truly feels like some guardian angels were both hanging out with me tonight, and also fighting some interloping demons away on my behalf. Thanks guys! 'Preciate you.

-Anyway! Got home and proceeded to wrestle the shelves out of the car again and inside again. As well as clearing General Floor Mess out of the space I wanted to put the first shelf (I wasn't planning on 2 so right now they're just stacked in front of each other until I figure out what else I can move around). Husband was too worn out from his week of doing stuff (and getting up v. early this morning) to help. Which was fine, it just made me feel more super-woman-y.

-Grabbed some food because it's almost 9pm and I haven't eaten since lunch?? and then I took a very nice cold/cool shower, which is not generally something I expect to experience by choice in mid-November, but it felt great.

-And now it's 10:15 and writing this up was literally the first time I'd stopped moving in almost 5 hours. 😂

-OH SHOOT gotta do Neopets dailies.

-And then I am going to have the best sleep ever.

[owlkhemy]

Welcome to the blog!

You can just call me Owlkhemy, it's what I call myself here. I go by she/her or they/them, and I'm not fussy about which you use.

Anyhow, I wanted to make a pinned masterpost post because I post a LOT of different stuff.

If you came here from my book blog, no you didn't /lh. I'm trying to keep them distinct because I can get rather fandomy sometimes here and want to try and keep my own creations separate. I will occasionally mention my original characters or books here though.

I mostly post about the random occurrences of my life that I think would be vaguely interesting to other people. If you want just this content, check out my tag "a convo with owlkhemy".

If you're looking for my attempts to be as cursed as some of Tumblr's most (in)famous users, try "be the random post chaos you want to see in the world".

If you want my interactions with my roomie, try "roomie shenanigans".

If you want Roomie and I's series where we judge your simpery, that's "we analyze your sexypeople".

If you're looking for specifically my Petz 5 content, I have the sideblog @hydrargyrykennelz for that now!

If you want some nature photography that only gets posted for like, one week a year, head over to @the-masked-moth.

If you actually want to see my fan nonsense, then head over to @owlseeingchaos.

You can also pop into the searchbar to find these tags, if you're on mobile. Alternatively, I've added them to the tags of this post for easy perusal.

[formulaonedirection]

hi nadia, since ur the designated 'crush talk' host i got something for you so buckle up... i've liked this guy since probably last year, i've known him since 2020, as he's a friend of one of my best friends who i currently live with. very smart, intelligent, kind, and so gentle, plus one of his main interests is something that i literally study at university so we have quite a few things in common. since last year i've been noticing these little things, kind of like serendipity, or maybe that's just how i've been interpreting them🤣🤣 just coincidences, most notably we went to the same play at the local theatre but completely missed each other, and also we met on the tram once and since it was packed there was no railing for me to hold onto so he very gently held my elbow (very cute and interesting conversation took place also). he would also often put a heart reaction on my stories whenever i'd post a selfie (he actually did it earlier today as well), and always compliment me whenever i'd post videos of my guitar playing. he once even asked me to play something for him the next time we see each other. so i thought things were going in the right direction... but poor mental health and self confidence really stunt my bravery when it comes to things like this so it's been going rather slowly. he came over when my roommate was throwing a get together the other month but i didn't make it. i've been wanting to tell my best friend about this whole ordeal so that she could maybe put in a good word for her homie but alas i haven't done it. 2 days ago i had a cute but quite vague dream about being in a relationship that had me absolutely wrecked for the entire day so last night i talked to another friend and decided i was going to tell my best friend!! and start making some moves!! fast forward to this afternoon, he comes over randomly just to visit my bestie, i'm over the moon obviously. the 3 of us talk, and then out of nowhere he announces he got back with his ex. what in the absolute dick and balls do i do now

oh my goddddddddd when I got to the end i literally went NOOOOOOOOOOO. I was like. Close to hopeful when you were like I'm gonna make moves but then I remembered this is crush talk and we're all suffering. BLEUGHHHH. Awww man dude that sucks. From the sound of it I'm sure it wasn't all happening in your head cause like he was being all replying guy and liking selfies on instagram guy. I'm sorry but that means something OKAY you can't be A MAN out here liking SELFIES on STORY. Like it's different if you put it on main and the person likes your post but HEART ON AN IG STORY SELFIE??? Nah. If you felt some type of connection I don't think it's fair to assume it was one-sided that's just silly anxiety and insecurity talking. Anyway that sucksssss. Idk how close you are with your bestie roomie but I'd still consider telling her? Maybe in a more casual way like oh my god I totally had a crush on your friend and he got back together with his ex :facepalm: so it doesn't seem That Big Of A Deal that it becomes awkward? Or you could do a proper heart to heart of it. Either way I think if you come out the other side feeling some type of emotional release or growth it's still worth it.

As for Serendipity boy idk try to see if the getting back together with ex thing is serious or if it's just like a fuck it why not situation? Cause sometimes getting back with your ex is truly just an I'm bored, you're bored we know this works in some way so let's just do this again type thing. So I'd say try to get a feel of it before you really lose hope but also more importantly I'm focused on you cause brains are silly and self confidence is SOOOOOO hard like crippling hard. But if the situation changes or another serendipitous man comes along I hope the fact that I'm rooting for you to go for it will help <3 Sorry if this was slightly too woo-woo but I know how hard it is to get over that barrier of your mind telling you NO and just go and get something you want but you're braver than you think! You typed this all out to me and you told a friend about it and you were gonna tell bestie roomie!

[rainbowchibbit]

BlAaaaahhhhhhhgh

Hello. It has been. An incredibly rough and traumatic and stressful week for me and I wasn’t even gonna make a post about it but it’ll probably delay some page(s) unless I sit down and focus (which I might!! Who knows)

And I know y’all are so sweet and wouldn’t have even worried about it or said anything but I think I mostly just needed a reason to talk about it? Because how do you just bring up the mess that the last week (actually last two weeks I guess) has been just “oh by the way!” But I guess that is kind of what I’m doing

So oh by the way, if I’m not altogether here brain-wise it’s because of details under the cut also tw: animal death

Monday the 14th: our dog suddenly started acting strange, and then suddenly couldn’t walk, declined rapidly, a trip to the regular vet and then the emergency vet and many tests and $2k later find out he’s got internal bleeding in a place they weren’t even sure they could operate on.

The rest of that week was taking care of this hobbly old man dog who had decided he was fine

Friday the 18th: our dog died.

Saturday the 19th: ??????????? I don’t remember

Sunday the 20th: my dad left on like a week long trip to pick up and drive home an RV (he asked if he should cancel his trip I told him no) so we were staying at my dad’s house because I needed to take my brother to school, etc

Monday the 21st: take my brother to school, come home and try and take care of HIS dog who has had neurological problems for over a year and now can’t even stand up straight, he declined rapidly too

Tuesday the 22nd: had to put down my brother’s dog which was probably even more traumatic than our dog dying at home

Wednesday the 23rd: kept my brother home from school and let him play video games at our place while my roomie and I took turns sleeping for 12 hours to try and recover

Thursday the 24th: took my brother to school, went back to my dad’s house and basically slept until I had to go pick him up from school, then had to drive and take roomie to an appointment because her car is at the shop, didn’t get back to dad’s house until late

Friday the 25th: took my brother to school, finally had a vague amount of energy to accomplish things then my dad came home yaaaay!! It’s so nice to have the adultier adult home anyway I finally got to go home and I slept for like another 12 hours.

Today is Saturday the 26th and I want to draw but I am still rather out of it because I’ve been in crisis/mom friend mode for the last two weeks and I’m exhausted physically mentally and emotionally but doing a lot better? Just. So tired and coming out of crisis mode.

I just thought. You guys should know?? What’s been going on???? Anyway you all are the best ilu

[bitacrytic]

Black Rose (6)

Read previous part HERE

♧

“You’re selling this place,” Yohan said, gently nudging the makeshift posts beneath Gaon’s bed.

“Excuse me,” Gaon replied, closing the door, but making no move to come back in, careful of the distance between them.

Yohan hated the distance.

“You can’t keep running back here every time we get in a fight.”

Or if he’d somehow laid himself bare to a man, he knew nothing about.

♧♧♧♧♧

Yohan took a tentative step into the apartment, into Gaon’s world. It wasn’t lost on him that they’d only ever interacted at the office or at the mansion, or anywhere else that was of Yohan’s machinations. He wondered if it was to his advantage that things between always happened on his turf, on his terms.

The apartment was small but roomy enough to afford him movement because Gaon didn’t clutter the inside. He just had a bed, a closet, and a reading area. Gaon reserved all his clutter for the veranda right outside his door where there was barely any room to step for fear of crushing a potted plant.

It was quiet, but not in the menacing way that the mansion was. He could still hear cars from the road and conversation from the street and other apartments. Living in this apartment, was not insolation. This was comfort. This was calm. This was an avenue to community. Three things that the mansion was not.

No wonder Gaon kept coming back.

“You’re selling this place,” Yohan said, gently nudging the makeshift posts beneath Gaon’s bed.

“Excuse me,” Gaon replied, closing the door, but making no move to come back in, careful of the distance between them.

Yohan hated the distance.

“You can’t keep running back here every time we get in a fight.”

Gaon clenched his fist, then buried them in his pockets.

“I’m not selling my house.”

“I’ll buy you a better one. One closer to the mansio-"

“Did you come here for a reason, Sir?”

Yohan wanted to ignore him and finish what he’d started saying. Instead, he sat on the bed. Soft. He tried to bounce on it, but it didn’t bounce. It just absorbed his weight and pulled him in.

“Come back with me.”

“Sir-"

“It’s what we do Gaon. We fight and then we make up.”

Gaon leaned a shoulder against the wall and crossed his hands in front of his torso.

“That’s not the best way to live.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do. And I don’t want to pressure you-”

Yohan laughed.

“-into anything that you don’t want.”

“Do you think we’ve done anything that I don’t want?”

“You may have wanted it at the moment, but regret tends to colour memories of the experience.”

Gaon was right. Yohan had wanted it, God, he’d wanted it like his skin was burning and Gaon had a bucket of water. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so desperate for anything before that day at the office where he’d kissed Gaon and sucked him off.

The moment they were done, Yohan was wrought with shame. His depraved needs were usually confined to protected walls with partners who knew better than to speak of it.

“Do you know where I’m supposed to be today?”

Gaon shook his head.

“Think.”

Comprehension dawned on Gaon.

“It’s the third Saturday of the month.”

“Yes.” Yohan nodded. “I have a standing appointment that I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep.”

Gaon pushed off the wall as his hands fell to his sides, then he schooled his expression, attempting to pull back the veil of nonchalance he’d worn ever since Yohan entered the apartment. Eventually, he gave up, placing a hand on his hips.

“What does that mean?”

“Whatever you want it to mean?”

As the words left his mouth, Yohan didn’t think truer words could have existed. He was starving and for some reason, Gaon felt like the perfect source to quench his thirst. He could go for his appointment. He could have Josephine or Stephen whip him till his body quivered and craved release. He could do that. But it wouldn’t be enough. Not anymore.

“What does that mean?” Gaon asked again, sounding worried. “We’re not doing anything until we understand what we want from each other.”

“I want everything from you,” Yohan replied quietly.

“Sir,” Gaon said softly taking a step forward, but backing up immediately.

Yohan frowned at Gaon’s feet. He wanted Gaon to cover that distance, but he didn’t know how to say it. He couldn’t find the words.

“I should be more specific,” Yohan said. “I don’t want you to hurt me. I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I hate it when you leave.” His voice shook.

“I’m right here, Sir.”

“I hate that you still call me Sir. Gaon, you’ve ejaculated in my mouth for fucksake.”

The words came out harsher than he’d intended. As Gaon’s frown deepened, Yohan rushed to rectify his mistake.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound that way. You can... you can call me whatever you-"

“Yohan-hyung.”

Every word in Yohan’s mind screeched to halt after Gaon spoke. Unable to speak, he just sat there with his mouth hanging open.

“Hyung-nim?” Gaon asked, walking towards Yohan, slowly. “Or just Yohan?”

Yohan-hyung. That was the one Yohan liked the best. But he couldn’t convey that because Gaon was getting closer and closer till he crouched between Yohan’s legs and knelt on the ground.

“Which do you prefer?”

“What are you doing?”

Gaon took Yohan’ hands in his own and held them to his chest. He was so close. He was still so beautiful. Oh, how Yohan just wanted to kiss him.

But before he could, Gaon leaned up and pressed his lips to Yohan’s in a soft, fleeting kiss.

“We’re talking terms and conditions, right?”

Yohan nodded.

“Yohan-hyung,” Gaon said, sounding like he’d decided. “But I’ll still call you Sir at the office.”

“Anything you want.” He licked his lips, looking down at Gaon’s and wanting another kiss.

“I want you to talk to me.”

“I can do that.” If things were going where Yohan thought they were, then he was going to agree to anything.

“Listen to me,” Gaon said, squeezing Yohan’s arm and drawing his attention away from Gaon’s lips. “I don’t want you to agree to anything just so we can have sex.”

“I can talk.”

“I mean, reallytalk. If I ask a question, I just want answers. That’s how we can avoid hurting each other. Usually, you make vague statements that mean nothing and eventually it blows up in both our faces because I draw all the wrong conclusions. If we’re going to do this, my biggest condition is that we talk to each other.”

Yohan knew that. Most of their fights escalated because they didn’t communicate when they should have. Question and answer. Right? It could be that simple if Yohan allowed it to be, right?

“Alright.”

“You have to be able to ask for stuff too.”

“I ask for things.”

“Do you?” Gaon asked back. “You set traps and beat around the bush till I do what you want. Just ask me anything. You’re my hyung now, right?”

Yohan’s insides felt mushy and giddy hearing Gaon speak that way.

“Can you kiss me?”

Gaon smiled, leaned forward, and kissed him again. Yohan kissed back, holding on to Gaon like his life depended on it. When Gaon pulled back, Yohan went down and kissed him again before he sat back.

“One day,” Yohan said. “One day I’m going to…” he cleared his throat. “One day I’m going to ask you to do something that… uh… something that I don’t think you’d like.”

“Are we talking about the reason for your monthly appointments?”

“If we’re going to do this, we have to be honest, right?”

“Yes.”

‘Then you should know about the things that I want.”

Gaon stood, gently pushing Yohan against the bed as Yohan obliged, shifting to accommodate him. Together, they lay, facing each other.

“I’ve’ been reading about it,” Gaon admitted, picking at Yohan’s collar, and avoiding Yohan’s eyes. “Honestly,” he said, as his cheeks colored. “I haven’t been able to think about anything else.”

“Really?”

“But I don’t know exactly how you like it.”

“I can show you.”

When Gaon met Yohan’s eyes, the open adoration in them was enough to take Yohan’s breath away. This foolish boy who thought he could handle anything. Yohan didn’t know he could ever feel this way about anyone. He had no idea anyone could ever feel this way about him.

“You can show me,” Gaon agreed, caressing Yohan’s lips. “I’ll learn anything from you.”

Yohan liked that too much. He scooted closer, lifting himself till his upper body was above Gaon’s.

“I like that,” he smiled.

“But I’m not selling my house.”

“You can keep it,” Yohan allowed. “This bed is growing on me.”

Gaon reached up, running his hands through Yohan’s hair, a gesture that was so reminiscent of that first time in Yohan’s office, when Gaon had done it. Yohan leaned into his touch, soaking it in, anticipating what it would feel like to have Gaon’s hands all over every other part of his body.

“Are we doing this or not?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Yohan said, diving down and capturing Gaon’s in a kiss so full of intention that he was quaking in his bones. He’d wanted this for so long and even though he’d thought he’d only get it as some broken thing, some secret, some stolen moment that could never truly be, he couldn’t believe that he was here.

He was getting Gaon, intentions bared, and wounds left open. Because he’d been a fool to think he deserved anything less than everything Kim Gaon had to offer.

[moldy-mold]

June Blog Gotta spice up my life.

Tried out new boba places that have started to open up in Atlanta and I feel like life is worth living again!

-

Plant Saga I swear this is probably the most eventful part of my life.

Hubert the monstera has many new leaves, one successfully became a split leaf but he’s got a ways to go. He’s too small now to create completely split leaves. I think maybe next year...

- I got Lorenz a rose gold planter and it made him more bougie. NICE. I don’t know if anyone cares about mini rose plant care but he did get infected by spider mites because of course he freakin did. I mixed dish soap and water and sprayed him once a week and they disappeared. Every day I have to monitor him for signs of stress and any other possible problems. I think he’s the most high-maintenance plant I currently have and it is very fitting lool.

- Rokurou the Venus Fly Trap keeps eating things. Very typical. I saw him catch a moth that nearly escaped with half of its body still caught in the trap. It was gruesome but I was really psyched to see him catch something other than ants. He is so happy now he even created a flower bud which I had to unfortunately destroy before it bloomed. It really weakens the plant to let it produce flowers. :( Apparently they’re pretty boring and smell bad anyway loool. I need to get him a planter too... - Say hello to Riki the parlor palm! I was trying to think of which character was pointy and tropical. This is a pretty easy plant to care for, I just water him once a week.

My next goal is to get my hands on a pothos! Time to think about names...

-

Projects Last month I began planning out a complete comic series about Rokurou and Eizen. Listen... I am very enthusiastic about their bromance. I work on it every day for a little bit before bed. You can say I was inspired to do this because of the amount of Webtoons I’ve been reading. If they let us post fanart maybe I would have given it a shot haha. Sadly, my only usable social media platforms are not comic-friendly but it’s alright. Based on my progress I’m happy to say that I will be finishing a comic series for once (I’m 95% done). And I never finish anything! I want to launch this project in two weeks but I’ve told myself that I must finish all of my comic pages before I post a single thing. Soon. - I don’t think I’ve shared visuals of what I do at the stationery company I work at. We occasionally get orders for chalkboard bar menus for wedding receptions. I’ll show you the one I illustrated for the client of their pets! I actually met the bride and groom that day (it was also my birthday) and they thanked me like 1000 times and even gave me a huge tip. T_T

Otherwise, my duties include laser cutting and wedding assembly! I would love if this were a full-time job like the old days... - The bakery... I am bros with the cafe owner’s husband. He helps out on weekends and we have synergy. He is very... DAD. For some reason he likes to give me a new life lesson every week I see him. He’s not my dad but I’m still going to tell him Happy Father’s Day. Here’s a text:

-

The Berseria Journey (I will be vague in my commentary) Made a new friend thanks to Berseria! Crying over fics really do bring people together 🥺.

After playing for 6 and a half months, we finally beat the main story... To be fair, we went around the world doing all side quests and optional content. My favorite mini-game was Character Cards!

My roomie and I play together so during the finale she took on the “short one” as Velvet - while I, playing as Rokurou, had an EPIC one-on-one sword fight with the “tall one”. Dodging attacks and countering with Vengeful Stance, the delicious stun attacks. MMM! It was so good. Finished it off with beautiful lvl 3 mystic. *chef kiss*

Uhhhhhh I need time to process that ending because so much was happening in the last 10 minutes of the game. I am still kind of confused but you know what, that’s okay. Maybe my brain will catch up when I do post-game activities.

I wish I had more interesting pictures but we’re having such a hard time getting PS4 recordings to work. Please accept my Snapchats.

Last but not least, to end the blog:

He said wanted the towel. To wear nothing but the towel. It is very much canon, so who am I to deny him?

[cithaerons]

i had this friend once who i don’t talk to anymore who used to post passive-aggressive instagram stories about her roommates that were like “my evil bitch slut roommate left a pea on the stove. what do i do to get revenge?” followed by a poll that was like “not buy toilet paper” “leave a canned tomato in her shoe” “leave three peas right outside her door” “other”. whenever i feel bad about vaguely complaining about my roomies on here i think of that and feel less bad.

[concussed-to-pieces]

Late July Part Two

Fandom: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Pairing: Agent Whiskey [Jack Daniels]/Reader

Rating: Holy shit kinda' tame.

AN: Guess who was a fool and thought that they could leave Late July the way it was?! Me. Spoilers for Kingsman: The Golden Circle abound in this chapter, so proceed only if you don't care about the movie being spoiled for you! I'll see you guys on Wednesday. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @wrestlingfae @cookiethewriter @culturalrebel @jackierey09 @crookedmoonsaultpunk @duker42 @agirllovespasta @nelba @pedrosbigdorkenergy @lestrange2703 @youmeanmybrain @luvley-shadow @theocatkov @miscellaneousjunkk @reluctantlyresponsibleadult @buttons-beads-lace @gooddaykate @lackofhonor @talesfromtheguild @absurdthirst @mostly-megan @pancakepike @88dragon06 @chibi-liz05 @iellaren-uodo-rian @heatherbel @ripleyafterdark @oloreaa @thesoftdumbass @okilover02 @renegademustelid

Alright, I think I got everyone! There will be one more part on Wednesday, so if you would like to be tagged please let me know!

Part One

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This chapter contains attempted purposeful triggering, frank discussion of character death, memory loss, regression and vivid flashbacks/allusions to post-trauma. Stay safe!]

He came back around slowly, still tasting the stale beer of last night's party like an unwanted echo in his mouth. But instead of waking up on the kitchen floor of his shared apartment, he was in a blindingly white room that looked suspiciously like an alien spacecraft. Jack's mind raced. Shit, maybe my roommate wasn't being a total spaz when he talked about getting probed, the young man realized with an undercurrent of fear. 

Incomprehensible beakers of things lined the walls of the room. Alright, maybe he should have paid more attention in his chemistry classes, but he could hardly be blamed for assuming that none of it would have practical uses!

Jack rattled his hands in the cuffs that secured him to the table, clearing his throat. Man, his head ached. This was why he needed to remember to drink a glass of water before passing out!

"S'cuse me? Uh, hello?" He called hesitantly. "Look, if the guys from Theta Alpha Phi put you up to this-"

A beautiful older woman rounded the corner into the room, observing him over her glasses. "Welcome back." Her voice was steel, and Jack worried his lower lip nervously. "Wasn't sure if you were going to make it for a little while."

The restraints around his wrists and ankles abruptly retracted into the table, leaving Jack to awkwardly stumble forward onto the floor. He quickly regained his footing, reaching up to seize the lapels on his usually-open shirt and finding instead that he was wearing some sort of...ski suit? Jumpsuit? Top Gun, I can dig it. 

God, she really was a good-looking woman. Ah, what the hell. Nothing ventured...

"Hello gorgeous. I'm Jack, what's your name?" He didn't give her any time to answer before he carried on with a disarming grin, "How would you like to ride home on a real cowboy?" Jack ran a hand through his usually-unruly hair and found it...weirdly tame. "I've got a six pack on ice and my roomie is out for the night so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, sugar!" He continued, ambling forward. The cheesy, blatant approach usually worked well for him. Sixty/forty split, or thereabouts.

She kept retreating as he advanced, and then she reached into her pocket. Jack braced himself for the rebuff, confused when she pulled out a Polaroid instead. "I hate to do this to you, Jack." She sounded like she meant it. There was Blue-Tack on the back of the Polaroid and handwriting that some portion of his brain vaguely recognized as his own, but he didn't get the chance to read it before she was showing him the faded image.

It took him a moment to realize that it was a picture of one of the girls he had dated in high school, but it looked like she had grown into a legitimately stunning woman. She was smiling fondly at whoever was taking the picture, and the entire image radiated playful energy. Jack cocked his head, a buzz of foreign sadness churning briefly in his chest before he raised his eyes to meet the...scientist's? Teacher's? "Where'd you get this picture? I ain't seen her in years! Shee-it, she got beautiful." The young man drawled. "I have been thinkin' about visitin' my folks again. Maybe I'll go 'round to her place too for some catchin' up."

The woman seemed startled, her sculpted brows raising and then dropping as she studied him intently. "You...don't remember...?"

"I remember her, yeah, we dated for a while in high school." Jack insisted. "Broke up senior year because I was leavin' for college, y'know how it is."

"This is your wife, Jack. Or she was, rather." 

His head throbbed, left temple lighting up with sudden agony. "Oh, shit." Jack grunted, holding the side of his head and grazing a bandage that he hadn't realized was there. "Damn, I must have hit my head real good when those pricks from Theta Alpha shoved me down the stairs. Hangover probably ain't helpin'." He grinned ruefully at her. "Guess you must be the one who patched me up. I ain't never asked out a doctor before, but there's a first time for everythin'. Can I pay you back with dinner?"

The woman appeared perturbed. "Jack. This is your wife." She repeated, waving the picture in his face. 

"I'm real sorry ma'am, but I ain't the marryin' sort." Jack replied bluntly, "I would definitely remember if someone like her was still my girlfriend. Or uh, had become my wife."

"What do you remember happening, Jack? Before…" she gestured vaguely. "This?"

Jack chewed on his lower lip in thought, tilting his head back to stare up at the featureless ceiling. "Uh, I remember…well, before they pushed me down the stairs, them TAP boys crashed my roommate's party…"

…

"'Pressions, I need you down here in the reconstruction laboratory." Ginger Ale's voice issued abruptly through your earpiece and you sat up a little straighter at your desk. 

"What's happened?" You asked softly, rising from your seat and making your way to the door. What with a majority of the population currently locked up in stacks of cages, enough to fill football arenas to their brim, you weren't doing much in the 'managing first impressions' area. Since you had fewer and fewer responsibilities, Ginger Ale had begun to lean upon you a bit more, especially as all able-bodied agents were deployed into the field to search for an antidote. With Tequila being incapacitated, it had made the assignment personal to many agents. 

It had been fascinating to find out that Statesman was technically an offshoot from the now utterly-decimated Kingsman agency. When the two surviving members of their group had shown up to the Statesman headquarters, it had caused quite the stir. 

"I need a favor." Ginger said, sounding tired. 

"Anything." You agreed before she could elaborate further, picking your way through the gravel in the courtyard as you headed to the warehouse where the massive casks of Statesman Reserve were stored to age. Once inside, your heels clicked loudly in the stillness of the temperature-controlled storehouse and you were certain that Ginger Ale could tell your location just from the noise alone. "I'll be with you in a moment."

"Don't promise me that until you know what I need."

Your brow furrowed. "Uh...okay." 

Once you had made your way through the somewhat labyrinthine halls of the Statesman underground facility, you found Ginger Ale waiting for you directly outside the sick bay. She was rubbing her temples. 

"Oh no, that's not a good sign." You quipped as you approached.

She looked up and her face bore an expression of long suffering. "You don't have to say yes to this, okay?" 

"Ginger, talk to me. What's up?" You asked worriedly, taking her arm and leading her off to the side of the doorway.

"'Pressions, Whiskey may not be...one hundred percent." She said carefully. "He didn't snap back into 'Whiskey mode' even though the nanites-"

"Wait, what happened to Whiskey?" You interrupted in concern, your heart hammering a foreign, panicky tattoo on your ribcage. "He was with the Galahads, I thought?"

"He got caught by a sniper." Ginger Ale grimaced. "Clean shot to the head."

"Jesus, no." You gasped. "I'm assuming one of the Galahads used his alpha gel?"

"Yes, and the nanites did their job perfectly. So he's stable, and conscious. Better than that, I would hazard, considering that he took a bullet to the head and he's walking and talking. The issue is that he's not really...Whiskey. At the point he's regressed to, he thinks he's still a dropout living with his college roommate." Ginger Ale pulled a picture out of an inner pocket. "It used to be that we could just trigger him to resume where he left off using the memory of his wife and unborn son, but it doesn't appear to be working this time."

You stared at her, mainly because of how casually she stated the fact that they triggered their agents back to 'normal' with traumatic memories, but also because you had a sneaking suspicion that you might be the reason why the aforementioned trigger no longer held the same weight for the field agent. 

You told yourself you would refuse to feel guilty about it. Whiskey had asked for your help and you had obliged. It was as simple as that.

"Now, I know your family has that rental cabin, and I also know that it's fairly secluded. If the Statesman organization could possibly, uh...commission the cabin and persuade you to take some paid leave until Jack is...himself again, or at least until the drug issue is sorted and we can devote more time and research to this situation, I…" Ginger Ale trailed off as Jack's head popped out around the doorway.

You were treated to a blatant once-over stare that seemed to last for a lifetime, his dark eyes studying you intently. "Have I...met you before?" Jack asked you, the hesitance in his tone making you briefly hopeful before he continued, "yeah, last night, in my dreams I think?"

You couldn't help your groan and eye-roll, laughing in spite of yourself. "Ugh, and how often does that line work for you?" You teased. 

"So far, never." Jack admitted. "But I've always held true to the belief that the sexiest thing a fella' can wear is confidence." He continued with a grin, "That and a high-quality hat." He glanced down the hallway. "So, is it just you two lovely ladies on this alien spacecraft, or what?" 

"Alien…?" You raised an eyebrow. "Okay Ginger, I'm convinced. I'll get the paperwork ready. But if you need anything-"

"I know. I'm glad that I can rely on you." She interrupted you gratefully, looking relieved. 

"You gals got any Midrin on you? My head is killin' me." Jack grimaced, palming over the gauze square attached to his temple even as he shamelessly watched you walk past him to the lab's computer.

"Midrin was discontinued almost ten years ago." You replied absently while you punched in your login and searched for the proper documents to send to the nearby printer. Commission for resources...ah! There you are.

"What, really?" Jack gawked at you. "Hell, I should probably tell my roommate to chuck his then, it must be way outta' date."

"Somehow, I doubt that will be a problem."

…

Jack balked a little when you stated that you would be driving, but he quieted down once you implied that the world may look a bit different than he recalled and that he didn't have a choice in the matter.

"He's not the first one to get put back a little wrong. The process isn't perfect," Ginger had told you. Of course you knew about Galahad senior, the Kingsman agent who had been shot in the head and returned merely wishing to study butterflies. "But I'll send you informational packets that he can sift through. Hopefully something will jog his memory."

Just riding up in the cask elevator had Jack worryingly pale, though getting him outside into the fresh air and sunshine appeared to perk him right back up. He was obviously doing his best to roll with the punches. You thanked whatever gods were listening that Champ had given you permission to take Whiskey's Bronco. Despite the technological advancements of your own personal vehicle that made it miles more convenient to use (you kissed your Bluetooth phone sync goodbye with a woeful sigh), the last thing you wanted was to cause Jack even more distress. Whiskey was mercifully a classic, no frills, no fuss man when it came to his preferred vehicle, even for being a secret agent.

You grabbed your go-bag out of the trunk of your car and walked over to the Bronco in the lot, barely holding back a laugh at Jack's obvious approval of the vehicle. He was running his fingers reverently along the tiny red pinstripe on the exterior, back and forth.

"If I get enough money for one of these beauts someday, God, it will be a sight." He mused, sounding wistful. "Have to get a better job first, though." He continued, as if reciting an oft-repeated mantra. 

"Ginger said you dropped out. What courses were you taking?" You asked curiously. Jack had never been very forthcoming with information about his past, so you seized the opportunity to glean a little insight into the normally tight-lipped agent.

"My parents want me to be a doctor." Jack answered you with a shrug. "I dropped out last semester. Still ain't sure how I'm gonna' break it to 'em." He bounded up into the passenger seat, drumming his fingers nervously on the edge of the door. "Can I ask for somethin' to eat? I'm fuckin' famished." He admitted, changing the subject.

"Yeah, what do you feel like?" You paused, wondering if visiting the establishment near your cabin would assist his memory. "Sandwiches? Pizza?"

"She drives a manual and she eats real food? Be still my goddamn heart!" Jack proclaimed dramatically.

"Easy now cowboy, flattery will get you everywhere!" You laughed.

He grinned back at you, but the smile soon faded. You noticed him studying himself in the side mirror, running a finger down his jaw and grimacing. "God, there's a lot more mileage on this face than I remember." He muttered, prodding the skin of his right temple to smooth out the pronounced crow's feet around his eye. As if working on muscle memory, he reached down without looking and popped open the glovebox to grab his sunglasses. He paused, like he noticed what he had done, then shrugged and slipped the glasses on. "How do I look, ma'am?" 

"Perfect."

What with the drug situation ravaging the world right now, the normally-bustling joint you favored was downright sleepy. Aside from the muted television over the counter, the only sign of life was the lone waitress who ushered the two of you in to sit at the counter. 

"I can turn that up if you'd like." She offered, nodding at the TV. "I just leave it silent when I'm alone because all the reports...well, they can grate on your nerves, y'know?"

"Nah, leave it off." You shook your head. "I'm full up on hearing about the topic at hand." 

"'Topic at hand'?" Jack repeated, looking confused. He had taken his hat off and placed it on the countertop, his fingers back to worrying the bandage on his head. 

You nudged him with your elbow. "Hey, cool it. You'll undo all of Ginger's hard work." You chided, and he jerked his hand away with an embarrassed chuckle. 

"Whups, sorry." He looked up at the menu, and then asked the waitress, "Ma'am can I get a cup of coffee and a hot brown with chicken? I'm downright famished." His smile seemed more genuine, somehow. You realized after a moment that it actually reached his eyes, warming them even further. You weren't sure if you had ever seen him smile like that. Maybe he had forgotten how.

You began to explain in an undertone after the waitress had bustled off to the kitchen, "so there's this...problem going on in the world right now. Big drug problem." 

"Yeah, no shit." Jack scoffed, taking a sip of the black coffee she had poured him. "Nixon started that shit, and Reagan's been on that shit for years. You ain't tellin' me nothin' I don't know."

"N...No, no no, this is different." You grimaced, leaning in a little closer. "I'm talking like, there was one person behind the whole thing and now a large chunk of the population is infected with a virus that will kill them because they used illegal drugs."

Jack stared at you, his coffee cup forgotten in midair between the counter and his mouth. "You...what, hell, all drugs?" He asked incredulously. "Weed? Coke? LSD? 'Shrooms? Everythin'?"

"Everything unregulated, yes." 

"I...God." The mug met the counter with a thump and Jack put his head in his hands. "Fuck, you're serious about this, ain't you?"

This was a far cry from the boardroom Whiskey who had insisted that Champ "couldn't make this personal" after it had been revealed that Tequila was infected. But then, people changed over time. Things happened. You imagined a secret agent would grow into a fair amount of detachment through their career, if only for the sake of their sanity.

"So what's gonna' happen to them? Is anyone doin' anythin' to help? Or is everyone just sittin' on their damn hands again, watchin' shit happen?" Jack growled. 

"Well, our friends are doing their best. I'm confident that they'll be able to pull off their mission." Even without the senior Statesman agent at their side, you added mentally. Jack stayed in his hunched-over position for several minutes after his food arrived and you finally nudged his elbow. "Hey, sour puss. C'mon, we only made this pit stop because you were hungry."

"I'm sorry, my head is...I'm havin' some trouble." He mumbled faintly, and you noticed that he had gone pale again. "Headache."

You felt a touch of remorse. Maybe it had been overly optimistic of you to assume that he might recall more clearly in this location that he had only visited once. "To go it is." You decided for him, tugging out your wallet. "Once we get up to the cabin, we'll settle in for however long. It'll be fine."

…

There was no power. 

You cycled back through the last month's bills in your head. You had definitely paid the electricity. You huffed out an annoyed breath. "There must be a tree down somewhere." You said aloud. 

Jack was already making a beeline for the table in the kitchen, the takeaway container quickly splayed open so he could dig into his food with newfound zeal. "So, what do we need to do?" He asked around his first mouthful. He hadn't even bothered to sit down.

"Well first, I'll call Ginger." You sighed, already dialing the reconnaissance specialist. "After that, I'll check the stove, the fridge--"

"What happened?" Ginger answered before it even had the chance to ring, her voice sharp.

"No no, nothing's wrong. Just the power is out. With everything being the way it is, it'll probably be down for a few days." You heard the rapid clicking of a keyboard. "Whoa hey, don't move stuff around, Ginger. We can survive just fine without power for a day or two." You assured her. It always made you feel guilty whenever Statesman resources were used on someone as inconsequential as yourself. 

"Are...are you sure? I really should be working on getting more information from the drones in Cambodia-"

"Absolutely, you have way bigger fish to fry. We can wait our turn on the outage route." You interjected firmly. "I'll use the car charger for my phone, so if you need anything you can still get in touch."

…

Jack did his best to tune out your conversation with the woman from the lab, the young man scanning the inside of the cabin as he ate. 

It was small, though not cramped. Behind him was the common room, separated from the deck by sliding glass doors. The ceiling overhead was simple untreated beams, interspersed with skylights that left sunny squares on the warm wood floors. 

There was a hallway to his left that he assumed must lead to at least one bedroom and the bathroom, but he wasn't particularly interested in snooping down that direction.

His gaze landed on the wood stove that was tucked into the lone river-rock corner upon a sturdy pedestal of bricks, eyes tracing the stovepipe up to where it pierced the wall to the outdoors. Jack left the table and meandered to the stove, turning the handle and popping the door open after a brief struggle. It was still full of old ash from the last use and he grumbled under his breath, grabbing the shovel and bucket from their cobwebbed resting place against the wall so he could give the stove a proper seeing-to.

You would think people had never heard of a damn chimney fire, the young man griped to himself, eventually standing with the half-full bucket and making his way outside. "Hey!" He called to get your attention, "where's your trash?" 

You waved a hand off in the direction of a waist-high wooden crate that no doubt housed the waste receptacles, out at the end of the rutted drive. On his way by, Jack slowed briefly to a halt to watch you talk into your...God, is that really what cellular phones looked like? 

You shot him an absent smile when you seemed to notice that he had paused and the young man felt his stomach lurch, what the hell? This all seemed so familiar, like he had done it before. 

His head hurt.

Waking up in a body that was damn near twenty years older, retrograde amnesia was what the...what Ginger Ale had called it. Jack scoffed to himself. The hell kind of name is Ginger Ale? Then, he winced. Jack Daniels, meet kettle.

So what had happened in between? Something must have happened to him. Ginger had implied that he and that girl he had dated in high school got married, which was...not something he had ever thought about having on his radar, if he was honest.

Unless…

A weird, uneasy suspicion began to take root in his chest. There was one scenario where he believed he would ask a woman to marry him, if only because it was the goddamn proper thing to do. 

Oh God, he felt sick to his stomach again. Something, a memory, was lurking just out of the light and he couldn't shake the burgeoning sensation of dread. It was as if his brain was playing tug-of-war, both pushing him towards the realization and dragging him away from it in equal measure.

Jack shook his head and dug his fingers in beneath the heavy wooden lid that shielded the waste containers from the elements (and snooping animals), shoving it up so he could empty the bucket into the ash can. Later, he promised himself, we'll tackle that shit later.

...

Jack appeared to be deep in thought as he carried on the task of emptying out the wood stove, so you simply left him to it as you did a quick check of everything else in the cabin. It looked like the power hadn't been out for too long, as the small fridge hadn't defrosted just yet, so you made a note to head down the road and pick up some ice at the amenities store. You kept an 'emergency' cooler under the counter for such an occasion as this. 

This cabin and the surrounding ones didn't lose power very often, but what with all the old trees around it tended to be inevitable once the winds got strong. Your parents had instilled the knowledge in you of how to properly maintain the property, and you were immensely grateful that no problem had cropped up yet that you hadn't been able to straighten out by yourself. 

Most of the vacation cabins that littered the nearby woodlands had been booked up for the summer, due to the prolific population of affluent wealthy who enjoyed them as an 'isolated retreat from civilization'. You were hard-pressed to think of an 'isolated retreat' that included a convenience store within literal walking distance of one's residence, but any port in a storm. 

Jack was oddly silent for nearly the entire walk down the road to the tiny store, his thumbs hooked through his belt loops as his fingers idly patted out an off-tempo rhythm on his thighs. "Penny for your thoughts?" You broke the quiet with your question, trying for a genial tone.

"I dunno', really. I've got a lot of 'em. How many pennies we talkin'?" He replied, his smile strained. "I just feel like I'm missin' somethin'...big. Obvious. And I...dunno' if I'll be happy about figurin' out what it is, y'know? Like there's somethin' in the back of my head, hollerin' at me, but I can't make out the damn words and I don't--I ain't sure if I really want to." Jack stared off ahead, his eyes shaded by the brim of his hat. "I've already been a fuck-up for most of my life, y'know. I can't imagine what bullshit I pulled later." 

This uncertain man was a far cry from the usual cocksure attitude you had come to expect from Whiskey. In a way, you weren't exactly surprised that his attitude may have been mainly bravado. Or it might just be that he had played the part for so long he started to believe it. You reached out carefully and he met you halfway, almost absentminded, instinct kicking in before his brain as he wrapped his hand around your wrist. 

It took a moment before Jack's fingers twitched, and then his shoulders went stiff. Just like Whiskey, you found yourself thinking. "Uh, sorry, I-" he began to awkwardly apologize. 

"It's okay." You murmured, rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand. "If you're okay, this is okay." 

"...okay." Jack's voice was barely a whisper, the man smiling gratefully and giving your hand a gentle squeeze. 

...

It was a beautiful night. 

Due to the lack of power in your cabin and the ones around it, the stars were clearly visible. You had brought the battery-powered radio out with you onto the deck, soft crackling static and faint music the backdrop to your after-dinner conversation. 

Jack was more at peace than he could recall feeling recently, the man content to watch your expressions in the light of the lone citronella candle that you had lit on the table. 

At ease, well-fed and comfortable, it was almost malicious how fast his mind began to twist everything for him. Jack Daniels, college dropout. Nothing to show for it at all. He'd crashed and burned so damn fast, there hadn't been time. And now, all of this, finding out that the world had gone to shit--

In the middle of his ruminations, something dragged him back to the present. A familiar song, jarring him out of his self-deprecating reverie. "You fill up my senses…"

His head aching again, Jack got a fleeting recollection of a kitchen in a tiny apartment. Faded, dingy gray subway tiles on the backsplash, yellow curtains framing the window over the sink, her yelling at him, "I hate it when we fight, Jack," eyes snapping with fury but resigned and no, no, something is wrong-

"What's wrong?"

It took him a minute to realize that it was you asking him aloud, not his brain screaming at him. Jack grimaced, pressing his fingers to the bandage. "This song, I...I know it."

"I mean, it's John Denver." You said in a deadpan tone. "The guy oozes questionable sweater choices, denim and radio-friendly vibes. I'd be more surprised if you didn't know it."

"When she and I...we had moved in together. And this…it was playin' while we were arguin'." Jack's head was pounding. The kitchen had always felt too small, though it was the perfect size for her. They fought. About little things, and then bigger things. His gambling, her drinking. What a couple. Jack shoved his chair back from the table on an impulse, getting to his feet. "C'mere." He ordered, extending a hand to you

You raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. "Why?"

"Dammit woman, just-" Jack tangled his fingers with yours, giving your arm a light tug. "C'mere." He pleaded.

You obliged begrudgingly, obviously comfortable in your current position and unwilling to move. But once you were upright you didn't seem to have any reservations about him swaying you back and forth in time to the music, your head on his chest like it belonged there and your hands tucked into the sleeves of your large sweatshirt. 

"...like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean…" the song carried on, sweet and calm. Jack rested his chin on the top of your head, closing his eyes and just letting the faded memories wash over him.

"...I can't do this shit anymore." He had whispered into her hair, his voice hoarse. "All we goddamn do is fight and neither of us change and I'm fuckin' sick of this shit." He had continued to rock the both of them to and fro in that tiny kitchen, as if to soothe her. 

"Oh, you think I'm not sick? I've been sick!" She threw it right back at him hotly, her fists clenched on his chest like she wanted to beat the piss out of him. He probably deserved it. "Jack, you're the one who needs to change! You're the one who's the father of my fucking baby, why don't you start goddamn acting like it!"

Jack's eyes flew open. Baby? He scoured his mind frantically, every memory he turned up so frustratingly piecemeal! 

Baby, a baby, son? Blue crib, blue walls, my son? Married, needed to get married, can't have a baby without getting married, her parents hate me, my parents are already disappointed, have to elope--

And then everything ground to a halt. It was like his memory hit a wall, leaving him confused and almost raw with uncertainty. He needed more, damn it! He exhaled raggedly, making you look up at him in concern.

"Jack? Are you okay?" Your query was so quiet, like you didn't want to disturb him.. 

"I just...my uh, my joints are complainin'. Guess I let myself sit for too long." He fibbed, smiling down at you in an attempt to distract you from his obvious turmoil. "Thanks for the dance," Jack hesitated, an unfamiliar pet name lingering on the tip of his tongue, "cherry pie."

...

Jack meandered to lean with his arms crossed on the porch railing, his head tipped back to look up at the sky for a time. "Have I...been here before?" He asked out of the blue. "I feel like...it's weird to ask, but I feel like you and I have...I feel like I've been here before. With you." He finally managed to get the words out.

"Well, yes." You admitted. "You came to me because you needed help."

"And did you?" Jack cocked his head to the side. 

"Did I what?"

"Help."

You hesitated to answer him, mulling it over. Because in the moment, it seemed like you had. Whiskey had left your care an obviously happier man, but…

If the memory of his pregnant wife, the memory of losing her had been established as his failsafe, it was downright irresponsible of him to have removed that trigger without instating a new one first. Ginger Ale hadn't known, and now Statesman was down their senior field agent in the middle of an incredibly dangerous and tenuous maneuver. The health and safety of countless people hung in the balance and technically, technically (by your reasoning, anyway), it was your fault that Statesman was unable to put their best foot forward in this endeavor.

But…

"I think so." You said softly. "You hung onto something from your past that hurt you, Jack. Something that weighed your body down. I guess you finally got tired of carrying it with you."

Jack's smile was slow, but it lit up his face yet again in the way that Whiskey's never had. "Well good, then! I'm glad you helped me out." He shook his head ruefully. "I just feel like I've been here before. This point in time. It's like...like I'm gettin' the chance to do somethin' over, but I don't know what the hell it is. I'm scared, feel like I'm gonna' fuck somethin' up on accident." He admitted quietly. "It was here, wasn't it? Where you helped me?"

"Yes. This cabin is a safe environment for anyone that needs it."

"I can tell. It's...peaceful." He drawled, one boot hooked over the other as he shifted his weight against the railing. A hand wandered to your arm, his warm palm rubbing your shoulder absently. "I just hope that I can...do whatever it is folks need me to do." Jack murmured. 

His hand stayed on your arm for a good long while, the two of you silently looking at the stars.

"Hey, uh," Jack spoke up suddenly, "your...helpin', I…"

You glanced over at him, the stark white bandage on his temple serving as a stern reminder that this was not Whiskey, but simply Jack Daniels. The man, not the senior agent. A college dropout in a dead-end situation. 

"Do you help even if a person don't need helpin'?" He asked pointedly, an eyebrow hitched upwards as he observed you.

You opened your mouth, uncertain of what you would even say, but you were suddenly blinded by the motion sensor light blazing to life overhead. Jack pulled you into his body defensively, once again seeming to act on muscle memory. You watched through squinted eyes as he reached down for weapons that he didn't have, his hand flying to his hip. "Hey, don't worry." You mumbled against his chest. "The power just came back on, that's all."

"Jesus fuck that shit is bright!" Jack squawked, his voice pitched high. "Thought I was gettin' abducted by aliens again!"

"Again?" You couldn't help your laughter at how ridiculous he sounded. The man began to laugh along with you after a moment, his expression sheepish in the brilliant Illumination.

"Yeah, yeah, get your kicks." He growled good-naturedly, rumpling your hair. "You're lucky you're cute."

You grabbed hold of his hand, tugging him to follow you back inside. "C'mon, let's make sure nothing got overloaded." You urged. 

Even when he could have let go of your hand, you noticed he continued to hang on.

Part Three