#this is a thought therefore not properly formatted

[murdrdocs]

been having a thought lately … concerning brooklyn baby and jack …

you stumble upon it in the middle of the night.

you're laying on your side, jack's arm limply thrown over your waist, his breaths as steady as your thumb as it scrolls through the comment section of yet another video. you should be like him at this time of night, knocked out and having been so for at least a couple of hours. you should be curled into his side, greedily sharing as much warmth from his body as you could.

but every video is more entertaining than the last, each comment leads you down yet another trail. you said you would stop when jack clicked his lamp off and pulled you into him. but he's since rolled onto his back, a sign that he's out for the night, and you're still in the position you started in.

you reason with yourself; one final video and you'll plug your phone up and go to sleep. it just happens to be some sick form of fate that makes the next video on your page be one of you and jack. it's a clip of the two of you walking through down the street a few days ago, jack leading the way with your hand in his. the two of you are walking in slo-mo, making it more dramatic when jack appears into the frame first, and then you second. video-jack turns his head to look at you, grinning in a way that is almost coquette-ish when you smile back. the video then cuts to you and jack stood outside of a restaurant, his arms wrapped around your shoulders and his body slumped against yours. the two of you look picturesque in that moment. you understand why someone would have filmed the casual intimacy.

to top it all off, the creator set the candid moment to lyrics that allude to jack being cool, but not nearly as cool as you.

instinctively, you double tap the video and then click on the comments. the top one makes you laugh.

i know she bosses him around.

and the comment right beneath it, added by the creator of the video, says: and he likes it, too.

and the thing is, they're right.

eventually, you own up to your word, clicking your phone off after taking a screenshot of the comments. you roll into jack's side, making a mental note to show him what you've found in the morning.

[redflagshipwriter]

Nest Swap 4 progress

Now with 200% more bat!

masterpost

“Alright, have a good day.” Tim handed the clipboard back to a stone-faced delivery guy and took the package from Miss Fox back to his technology lair. He got a glass of water on the way down and then went about reproducing the experiment that Tam asked for.

She wouldn't give him details. But from the instructions and reported results, Tim was pretty sure that some employee had misrepresented their process. To what end, he didn't know. He was just the science guy, not a detective guy.

Although if he had to guess he'd say that they had switched out a needed chemical to hide that the supply was lower than recorded.

But whatever. That wasn't his business.

Tim happily went about science, recreating a corrosive liquid that would supposedly eat through reinforced metal. He had to make the Wayne tech protective coating for the metal as well to do the experiment properly. When he finished that he carefully dipped metal sheets in it and set them to drip dry. Then he turned back to the acid project.

Supposedly, the acid had been a failure. Tim thought it should work. Apparently Tam did, too.

The screens around the room all went black. He wasn't even using them but it was a hard thing to miss in your peripheral vision.

Tim groaned. “What now?” He asked the room. He clanged a piece of metal to the tabletop. “I am trying to finish this.”

Had he tripped some kind of security protection? Maybe they had all gone to sleep without getting a password at spaced intervals?

To be perfectly clear, Tim did not expect any kind of response.

Therefore he was startled halfway out of his skin when a female laugh came barrelling out of the speakers of the largest mounted screen.

He crossed his arms in a sulk.

“Tim?” She asked, after she caught her breath. “You're tiny.”

His face was catastrophically cranky: he could see it reflected back in the black screen. It was a perfect replica of Janet Drake discovering after she had formatted her latest paper in Chicago Style that the publication required the savagery of MLA formatting.

She laughed again. It ended with a hiccup.

‘Whoever this is, she can see me. She must be someone who knows me if I gave her that kind of access.’

“I'm not sure we're friends,” Tim announced, because it was time to face the facts: these people all knew a version of him, and that Tim was bigger. At least like, three inches. “I'm aware that I am small. I am working on it.” He glowered at the computer she seemed to be using.

It would take what, two years top for a major growth spurt? They could just chew bubblegum until then.

“Is that what you're doing now?”

Tim sighed. “No, I'm doing something for Tam,” he admitted. He scrubbed at his face with a hand. “Probably a good time for a break.” He started to tidy up.

“Yeah, so, I guess I can tell Dick that you haven't been kidnapped by lions or whatever it is he's talking about,” the lady said. The line turned to static for a second, then back just as quickly. “You, uh, need some help?”

“Absolutely not.” Tim shook his head in a sharp, decisive Jack Drake movement. “I don't need to be babied.”

“...I can see why you think you're in danger of it.” She snorted again. “Unblock Dick, please, he's got delicate feelings and I think we both have plans for tonight that don't involve him scaling your walls to find a way in.”

“....I'll unblock him,” Tim took the L gracefully. “I appreciate your silence on this matter.”

She snorted again. “Sorry.” She didn't sound very sorry. “It's just- your little businessman voice is so funny. I'm sorry, Tim.”

He looked up at the ceiling for patience.

“Oracle out.”

All the screens returned to normal. Tim let out a big long sigh and went back upstairs, taking his empty water class with him. At least he had a name, right? Oracle. He'd gotten a call from Oracle.

He mentally arranged the facts as he trudged up the stairs.

Fact one: he had replaced a Tim, who was Tim Drake-Wayne. (Upsetting information).

Drake-Wayne had to be fundamentally the same Tim as he was, given that both Tam and Oracle had immediately recognized him.

Fact two: Tim D-W was a vigilante.

Fact three: That was really cool.

Tim reached the top and made a mental note to enroll in some martial arts classes when he got back home. If he had potential to fight crime, of course he was going to do that. He unblocked Dick: oh no, Dick Wayne. He'd blocked Robin. He felt mortified. It was so obvious in retrospect. He put the phone down on the table, stomach twisting in social agony.

The phone immediately lit up with messages.

Well. Robin should be less annoying, if he didn't wanna get blocked.

He clambered onto the counter to search through for anything that would make a good lunch.

“... I'm terrible,” Tim complained. He stuck his head fully into the cupboard as if there might be something good at the back. “This sucks!”

Alright. Something had to be done. Tim decisively climbed down, using an open drawer as a step. He shut it with his heels and then went in search of a wallet. He needed a credit card and to find a delivery service.

He was going to act on faith that big Tim D-W wasn't going to ruin his life, even though he was a loser. Tim was doing a great job keeping Tim D-W’s life afloat. That merited some payment.

He converted that payment into a huge order to a grocery delivery service. He referenced Tam’s package to get the address.

The order was simple: fruits, breakfast meat, lots of bakery bread, and sandwich fillings. He was going to have tuna salad with cucumber and lettuce. He was going to learn to make egg salad. Optimistically, he even added melty cheese to the order and a can of tomato soup mix: grilled cheese couldn't be that hard, right?

He rounded off the order with lots of individually packaged drinks: milk and juice boxes, cans of grape Zesti, and hot cocoa powder.

"…This is so exciting,” Tim said to his empty apartment. His. In a very real and meaningful way, it was his apartment. He was totally unsupervised. Neat!

The phone buzzed again. When he picked it up it said “Jason.”

Tim blue screened. Tim dropped the credit card with a clatter. It disappeared under the table and he didn't even think to look for it.

Jason. Omigod, Jason. Jason was a person who existed. He'd forgotten.

All the pieces came together in a beautiful flash of light. He wasn't in a troubled huge age-difference relationship with Bruce (21 year difference) or Dick (9 year difference) . He'd gotten married to Jason Wayne, the kid that Bruce had brought home like a day ago according to the Gotham Gazette. (3 year difference: normal.)

The phone was still ringing. Tim picked it up with numb fingers. “Hello?”

“Hey, Timbers,” said a male voice. It was low, rough, and impatient. “You freaked Dickiebird out and he's been squawking at me all day. Tell me how many pieces you're in.”

Tim looked down at his body. “Just the one,” he said, voice coming out breathy. It felt like his being was floating outside his body. Wow. This was his boy- no, husband? Holy moly. He couldn't cope with that, he had to stick with boyfriend. He bit his lip. He had to make a good impression.

“...You sound about 10 years old there,” Jason said. He didn't hide his amusement. “You been huffing helium, babybird?”

Tim went bright red at the pet name. Painfully red. His face was on fire.

Jason took his silence as a response. “Alright, alright, keep your clothes on. You must be sick as fuck, poor thing. No wonder you didn't come out to play last night.”

Tim slapped his hands on his face and tried not to hyperventilate.

“I wasn't calling for Dick, don't get it twisted.” Jason cleared his throat, tone a little odd. “I picked up on something - I think one of my ongoing cases dips into your patrol area. You gonna come out on patrol tonight?”

“...No,” Tim said. There was no way that would go well. He didn't know martial arts yet.

Jason cursed, but he didn't sound mad about it. “Fair enough,” he muttered. “Uh, think you could do some surveillance for me?”

Tim nodded. Then he felt dumb and cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

…He felt even dumber. What should he say? This was his boyfriend. The stakes were so high. He had never wanted anyone to like him more.

Jason rattled off an address. It, like everything Jason had said, was going to live inside Tim’s head forever in perfect clarity. “Thanks,” he added after, a bit begrudgingly. “This guy's real fucking sick, been making human sausage.”

Tim… wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but it sounded really bad. “I'll do my best,” he promised.

“Yeah…” Jason trailed off. “Maybe you should take a nap, some meds. That's a terrible hoarse throat. Don't kick your own ass on my account, okay?”

“Okay,” Tim helplessly echoed, and hung up. He sat in silence for a solid minute afterwards.

[svt-kiki]

　( 𝐉. )　HER FAVORITE DELIVERY BOY　

𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗍 𝖺𝗇 𝗎𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗀𝗂𝖿𝗍, 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗌𝗎𝖺𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝖿𝖿𝖾𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗎𝗇𝗎𝗌𝗎𝖺𝗅 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗌

2024.　pairing.　kiki ( fem!oc ) × joshua　wc. 1.4k

cw.　no proofread, mentions of her past mental issues / jun’s absent in the next tour, kinda angst comforting fluff ( ? ), overworking

an.　MY FIRST SCENARIO OMG ?? i bet there’s thousands of grammar errors but here u are...

REBLOG to send the author over the moon

it was almost midnight when kiki felt so much weariness on her eyelid suddenly. she let out a sigh, took off her blue light glasses and pinched the bridge of nose. she should stop now, close the laptop and go home, get in bed. but she knew she wouldn’t. since the group’s comeback and world tour are near at hand, there’s so much to do. and it’s not a secret that kiki is pretty much a workaholic. while she’s in the zone, she just can’t stop clearing the decks and pushing forward, forgetting to get rest or eat properly. actually, she was. since she had a major equilibrium disturbance from 2019 to 2020 that made her take an official hiatus for a couple of months, the boys strictly told her to not do that again for everyone’s sake. it was valid — especially seungkwan and seungcheol begged her almost with tears.

their face popped into her head. she can’t keep doing this — but, oh.

since jun had gone to china and jeonghan will be absent due to the enlistment, all of the formations spontaneously make difference in the next world tour. she wanted to do her best for jeonghan of course, and jun. kiki never told anyone about this before — because all of the members would say ey don’t think like that — but she always felt guilty for jun. from the debut, kiki had opportunities for the acting job time to time, made appear to several dramas and movies. and jun was always there, expressed pure joy and delight every time she got a new job. she knew jun fully supported her and was happy for her from the bottom of his heart. although never doubted his tons of messages about the drama she was in — kiki couldn’t stop thinking about the disparity, between herself and jun on the other hand. it’s not that she got it more than she should. it’s always him, deserves so much more than he wants.

she always knew jun’s wish to pursue his acting career alongside as an idol, as seventeen just like her. so she was over the moon when he got casted in the new movie in china. she always believed he deserved it, the big role in the big project like this.

therefore, isn’t it a matter of course that she should do her best? so that jun can devote himself in there without any concerns?

but not in this way — seungkwan inside her head pointed out. and that’s true.

“just one more hour,” she said herself and back to the laptop only to be failed by someone.

“knock knock,” the familiar voice sounded from the door of the lesson room. a second later, joshua’s head poked from behind the door.

“shua,” kiki widened her eyes. “what are you doing? i thought you already went home hours ago.”

“right back at you,” he let out a gentle smile, slipped himself into the room. he was wearing a soft beige cotton shirt and a pair of faded navy jeans, his bare face was covered by black flame glasses.

“just one more hour, hmm?” he leveled his eyes on her face from between the glasses, raising an eyebrow. “well, i,” kiki stuttered while scratching the cheek. “i can wrap up the most of it that i need to do this week and... we have a shooting tomorrow, so,” she looked down her knee. joshua hadn’t said anything, but she could hear his thoughts.

“i realized i forgot my stuff in here after leaving the restaurant, so i thought i can get back here, partly as a walk after the meal. then i asked the manager if the floor was still open, he said yes and added that you were still in here when he left,” he walked down next to her.

“what’s that?” kiki gave the motion to point to the boxes he holding.

“a special delivery.” he giggled before putting down the boxes beside himself. “i thought you need a break,” then he opened it. “and some sweats.”

plain sugar, chocolate, matcha. it was donuts. the box was filled with the nice plumpy dough. “almond milk latte with honey, right?” he held out the coffee cup. “it’s decaffe since already late.”

“wow,” she let out a small sigh. “how could you find a cafe that still open at this time?”

“it was technically closed,” joshua said, “but she just flipped the sign, so i asked politely that i would buy the rest of the donuts in the showcase too,”

“that’s why you bought six of them?” kiki laughed before he nodded.

“thank you,” she replied, taking a sip from the cup. she could feel the taste of honey beneath the warm latte.

“would you really wrap up and go in an hour?” she knotted the lips for his question. “i think so, after finishing a donut,”

“then i’ll wait.”

“what? no, you don’t have to,” she quickly shook her head with frown eyebrows, turning down someone’s devotion as always.

joshua followed her, frowned his eyebrows as well and tilted his head. “i thought you’ve already overcome this bad habit? now i can see something going wrong in here. if you put back things and go home now, that’s fine. if you wanna go home after an hour, that’s also fine. i can wait to watch drama or something. besides, i have donuts here,” he shook a hand that holding a donut jokingly. “but i can’t just go back leaving you here alone. last time something like this happened was a shortly before you had a breakdown,” he suddenly bit his lips, silent as a pang of guilt lingered. that guilt was hers, not his. “i’m sorry,” is all she could say.

“you don’t need to apologize.” he gently patted her head, fixing the bangs as well. “i’m just worrying about you, okay? besides, you should feel lucky it was me who found you tonight. it was way more drama if it was mingyu or dino or seungkwan.”

“i know,” she let out a small smile, almost a sneer, disbelief on herself.

“i-,” kiki shuttered her eyes while looking up at the ceiling. “i just can’t shake off this feeling, that i’m- i’m cheating,”

joshua blinked with a silent shock by her unexpected words. “cheating? what do you mean by that?”

“jun,” her breath started shaking. “he is going to absent the rest of schedules in this year — it was necessary for him, i couldn’t be happier that he is finally able to chase his acting dreams after all these years. i’m thrilled to see him in a big project that take this long to shoot, but from the outside — it looks like he values his personal career more than as an idol, which was never a truth, because of me.”

he remained silent, lost in thought. kiki continued with darken eyes — eyes, that appears when her mind goes to a deeper place.

“because i decided very firmly, that i won’t be absent to seventeen’s schedule due to my job as an actor. but all happened because i was lucky, it was just a fortune, that i was able to accomplish it anyway. but now that bless put him in a bad light, shua. i can’t bear that. people comparing me and his circumstances which were never the same, and it unfair to do so. they have no idea how much he cares about this team, how much he devoted everything for this, nearly a decade. i know i might be overthinking, i know this is the last thing jun wants for me, but i can’t help it. i’m trapped, joshua,”

the donut was no longer tasted. he put back the one with bites to the box, rubbing sugar off from his finger with a paper towel. “kit kat... since you seem like already knew that your mind started driving in the very wrong direction, there’s nothing much i can say,” he slid himself into the very next to her, hugged her tight in an arm from the side.

“you felt guilty for him? all these years?” she nodded, then shook her head. “yes, i mean no, i was... able to control the direction most of the time. knew it was wrong, overthinking, but this time was... it was different, you know,”

“everything would be different in a couple of months,” he replied calmly, knowing she trying. god, she is.

as her finger run through the hair, kiki took few sips from the cup. “i will be fine, shua, i promise. i won’t let that happen again.”

after observing her expression for few seconds, joshua put a soft smile on his lips. “i will trust you for this.”

after all, he is her soulmate like people says. he composed his words perfectly. a trust — the thing she never fails to keep it true and real, she hates to betray.

but after this night, he is also her favorite delivery boy.

(    📁    )   :   NAVI   :  MASTER LIST     

(    tag list    )   :   @smh-anon @jennwonwoo @angie-x3

[mellowtrashtrash]

FNaF World: Object characters? Huh?

Sometimes you're put in a situation where you have to model two characters that are, quite frankly, just objects. And sometimes, you choose to bite the bullet and design them both back-to-back! Presenting: Phone Guy and Sanitation Station!

Phone Guy

Designing a character model for the Phone Guy is quite the challenge since he has no visual appearance; but he's an iconic Five Nights at Freddy's character, so I ought to put him in the hypothetical sequel to the game that celebrates the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise. I decided to model a little desk stand based on the one from the first FNaF game, and modeled the phone as a blue vintage landline in reference to his Ultimate Custom Night icon. Here's how it turned out:

(For clarification since it's been a while, top left is the character selection thumbnail, top right is the idle animation, bottom left is the attack animation, bottom right is the "hurt" animation, for when the character is subject to an enemy's attack. This is the process I typically follow for laying out my character animations. Hopefully this format is visible on all versions of this post and won't be inexplicably confusing.)

I'm very proud of it. This sort of "chibi" version of the FNaF 1 desk is kind of cute, in a way. I love the little TVs and the soda cup. There's so much detail on this that can't even be seen, but I don't do this just for practicality; I do it because it's fun, I learn things, and I thoroughly enjoy it! The phone cord has a complex bone setup to allow it to spring properly like a real phone cord does. It's not even visible half the time but it was a ton of fun to set up and it taught me more about armatures and constraints. Anything you make in this software (Blender) is a potential new learning experience. (Especially if you aren't using the ancient 2.79 version like I am.)

Sanitation Station

At first I felt I was grasping at straws for characters, but the more I thought about adding Sanitation Station, the better the idea started to seem. Maybe I've been consumed by madness, but if you take a look at this goober, you might start to see things from my point of view.

Now you may be thinking:

"That one's not even a real character! It's an inanimate object with a face drawn on it! At least Phone Guy has dialog and a personality! Even Trash & The Gang had established actions and personalities in Ultimate Custom Night, but not the Sanitation Station! Why would Sanitation Station be added to the character roster?"

Consider this: the Paper Pals appeared in the original FNaF world, and before that they were only ever depicted as completely static. It wasn't even clear if they were alive or if they were just being moved by the animatronics to mess with you. Sanitation Station actually has an impact on gameplay, which means it has a bigger role than the Paper Pals ever did, and in just one game!

Additionally, I have been adding new defense-based moves to this game concept - something I feel were left unexplored by the original FNaF World - and many of them have to do with safety features. "Threadlockers", "Waterproofing", "Stabilizers", "Repairs", "Bubble Bath" (in reference to the Phone Guy's dialog from FNaF 1), and that's just scratching the surface. The question came to mind: "Who do I give these moves to? Almost every Five Nights at Freddy's character is built around killing you, which one could possibly receive safety-based attacks?" That's where the amazing Sanitation Station comes in! It's a collection of safety items that exists entirely to lower your liability risk in its source material. It's the perfect candidate! And it has a face on it, which makes it a much more reasonable candidate than, say, the automatic security doors. And really, how can you say no to that face?

Additionally, Sanitation Station appears in Ultimate Custom Night, therefore securing it as a recurring character in the franchise, and justifying its position in the FNaF World 2 character roster.

(This is from Ultimate Custom Night, and is not my render.)

As always, thanks for checking out my art, (especially this post in particular, these are not especially popular characters.) I'll catch you on the flipside!

[mageknight14]

The Dangers and Flaws of Idolization: A NEO TWEWY analysis post

Transplanting and expanding on a thread I made on Twitter to fit within a Tumblr format.

One of the most interesting aspects I see in NEO TWEWY that I don’t see many people touch upon is the commonality between Rindo, Fret, and Shoka in how they look up to others as role models while simultaneously being blind to their flaws/who they actually are up to the end and how the game's themes are reflected in those relationships and today, I'd like to showcase why.

First, we have Rindo and Motoi. With that relationship, the game makes it pretty clear that Rindo looked up to Motoi as An0ther and used his words as encouragement to get through his own daily life and anxiety. The kid could barely decide what he could even eat for dinner before he had come across the account, so if you thought his current indecisiveness nature was bad, he was even worse before the events of the game.

However, what I find interesting is that even though he constantly spouts An0ther's sayings in an attempt to try and steel himself for the challenges he faces, he thoughtlessly does so and only lives by the sayings half-heartedly, since his indecisive nature and fear of responsibility prevent him from committing all the way. I think it's telling that despite claiming that "don't miss your chance to make a friend" is one of his favorite quotes, he's constantly at odds with the idea of bringing potentially new players on board the team even before he gets the chance to properly know/meet them and grimaces at the thought of the structure of the old Reaper's Game in the original.

Keep in mind that Beat saved Rindo's life at the hands of Susukichi at least two whole days ago before this occurrence.

Nagi’s Dive into his head on W1D3 actually does a LOT to reveal aspects of his character: he puts other people at arm’s length (besides Swallow due to their online anonymity) because he’s afraid of the fallout of what would to happen if he got involved with them.

"What if I end up taking on more than I can handle? What if other people end up dragging me down with them? If I just stay at the sidelines and shift the blame onto others, I won’t get into trouble for this."

"I'm in a group project; everybody is contributing and making decisions about how we should go about doing things. I keep my mouth shut and refrain from pitching in despite maybe thinking some of their ideas misses the point of the assignment, because God forbid my ideas could be helpful (or maybe they won't; that's life, but I won't know unless i speak up). We end up handing in our project and whoops, we got a C-. I guess I'm not responsible for receiving that grade because I never made a decision, therefore I shouldn't be accountable for my lack of contribution. It just makes sense."

If you've known/are a person that have had similar thoughts to this mindset, then congrats; you know/are a Rindo Kanade in real life.

This culminates into him latching onto others he finds capable and taking the relationships around him for granted, tying other people's worth to their prowess in might or influence. After all, why bother relying on yourself and others when you can just rely on someone else for you to solve your problems? Especially since it means that if everything goes south, YOU won’t take the fallout for it. After all, they’re clearly much more capable than you are.

To get back to his dynamic with Motoi, Rindo looks up to him immensely after finding out that he was his idol an0ther and came to value his input regarding matters within the Game. So when he eventually finds out the truth and is forced to confront the fact that his hero was nothing more than a content thief and a schemer who would trample over others just to survive, he’s understandably heartbroken.

However, instead of just leaving it there, the game decides to flip the script and have Motoi legitimately apologize to Rindo for his actions, leading to the lad in question learning to recognize that Motoi is ultimately an incredibly flawed human being instead of just writing him off entirely, (even giving him another chance!) and is, in many ways, a mirror to Rindo. Like Rindo, Motoi was deathly afraid of responsibility and the fallout of letting other people down, leading to him copying and pasting other people's quotes so that he wouldn't have to face that possibility. This aspect of himself only got worse when he got trapped in the Reaper's Game for multiple loops on end, forcing him to become a worse version of himself, lying, cheating, and backstabbing just to survive and even looking towards becoming part of the Reapers, the same group that trapped him there in the first place, just so he wouldn't have to be Erased, un a manner that's eerily reminiscent to how Rindo would took towards overly relying on others so that he would make it out okay. In that sense, Motoi is a look at what a grown-up Rindo would look like if he didn't take the lessons he learned within the Game to heart, which is part of why the latter decides to take Motoi’s copypasted quotes and apply them to his life in a positive way, deriving his own meaning from them so that in a way that contrasts him following them in a shallow manner from before.

Next up, we have Fret and Kanon, who form a interesting parallel to Rindo and Motoi's dynamic. Whereas Motoi is a look at one of the worst possible paths that Rindo could take if he didn't learn how to properly deal with his flaws, Kanon actually tries to coach Fret into becoming more true to and genuine with his actual self. She also shows herself to be a genuinely affable and honorable person even in spite of the bad first impression that she had given at the beginning of the game by stealing Rindo and Fret's pin for herself.

However, that's only the surface level stuff, as the game actually goes deeper with her character. While Kanon at first seems to be true to herself and genuine at her core in a way that Fret isn’t, we can see from the Dive into her head on W3D3 that she’s holding back a LOT underneath the surface.

"You always did have a way of destroying things" tends to get glossed over by some and for those who do look at the words, they seemingly come out of nowhere and can be seemingly brushed off as her just being under the influence of the Plague Noise. However , when you look back at some of Kanon’s actions and her words towards the Twisters (accusing the Twisters of sabotaging Fuya and making Motoi drop out of the Scramble Slam against his will, her mood changing when she finds out about Fuya challenging the Ruinbringers in one timeline as opposed to her more cheerful attitude towards Fret when she didn't find that out just yet, her acting suspicious towards the Twisters regarding their prowess as a team, etc), the implication is that she doesn’t just resent the game as a whole but also secretly the Twisters as well.

The thing about the Player teams is that they have formed an unspoken agreement where the top 3 teams (sans Ruinbringers of course) keep their footing by sending new players and other teams to last place, which the Wicked Twisters screw up just by existing. Their synergy and impressive Imagination powers (well, Fret, Nagi, and Sho’s at least) threaten the balance the teams have struggled to keep up for so long, hence why Kanon initially just sees them as another team to point snipe before she changes her mind on them. And while the Twisters do almost bring about change by beating the Ruinbringers, it ultimately doesn’t even matter in the long-run due to how incredibly rigged the Shinjuku game is and as a result, the DRS are eliminated, getting rid of Kanon’s and Motoi’s safety net.

Imagine this from the players’ perspective: you’re stuck in essentially what is a never-ending death game but you’ve got a system going where you can at least stave off your deaths for a bit longer. Then a couple of kids come around and throw that whole system entirely out of whack. And you think, "well, at least they can take out the top team and give us a fighting chance, right?" Only for those hopes to also get dashed because the rules are just that rigged. Like Kubo said, life ain’t fair and the afterlife sure as hell ain’t either. W1D5 and W2D4 are excellent explorations of this kind of mindset as it showcases the player teams falling victim to their desires and abusing their powers as a result of being stuck in an endless loop of playing the Game over and over again with no hope of escaping, as well as highlights paints certain comments made by the leaders in an even darker light.

With all of this in mind, it’s honestly no wonder that Kanon resents the Twisters but what’s interesting is that she tries to keep this resentment under wraps because she knows that it isn’t fair to them. They’re just kids after all who would have no idea about all of that. Hence why she admonishes herself in her Dive for wishing that they had just wipe out the Reapers altogether and why Fret is shown to be hurt hearing her inner thoughts about the Twisters in a way that’s pretty reminiscent of Rindo’s reaction when he found out about Motoi.

And finally, we have Shoka and Ayano. While it’s pretty clear that the two do genuinely care for one another, it’s a relationship that’s been tragically scarred by the events surrounding Shinjuku and the Reapers in general, resulting in a mutually unhealthy dynamic. 

What I find interesting about the relationship is that while Shoka gets pissed whenever Rindo insinuates that Ayano must’ve treated her badly, she sadly realizes in another convo that she doesn’t know much about Ayano on a personal level or what her interests even are.

In spite of how close they are and how much they mean to each other, Ayano still put up emotional walls and closed herself off, never allowing herself to be on equal footing to Shoka and instead just be someone who guides and mentors her over the 4 years they were together.

This is due to her feeling betrayed by Shiba/others while simultaneously using Shoka as her one stable point in life regardless because everything is going up into chaos surrounding the Shinjuku Reapers and she finds herself unable to trust anyone around her anymore. And Shoka herself doesn't even realize this until the end when it’s too late because she was just happy to simply have Ayano by her side without thinking deeper about her and their relationship as a whole due to her own emotional issues and troubled past.

When it comes to children from broken homes, they are prone to imprinting on any adult figure that interacts positively with them and in Shoka's case, this is exactly what she did with the Shinjuku Reapers, especially Ayano.

A running theme throughout all of these instances is how they all involve the younger generation looking up to the adults in their lives as idols as opposed to just role models and thus fail to see them for who they are as actual human beings. And by the time they that finally do, it's too late for the adults.

You also see nods towards this theme via the Shinjuku Reapers and their relationship with Shiba or Shiba’s (who himself is parallel to Rindo if his tendency to subconsciously take on the values of others and mistake his as his own was twisted into the worst possible outcome) relationship with Kubo, with Hishima even flat out stating as such. "You fell at the feet of an idol like an utter fool", indeed.

And this all fits, as well, into NEO's larger theme that even as a 'follower', you have to question the 'leader'. Role models aren't bad -- but idols and failing to recognize their limits/flaws/toxicity are and will end up screwing you over in the long run if you aren’t careful. And I think NEO did an excellent job at exploring the little nuances that come with that, from Kanon’s internal resentment she knew wasn’t fair to the unseen distance between Ayano and Shoka to Motoi being a complete deconstruction of it all. It shows the good and the bad of idolizing someone too much. It shows how you can see the real them and turn the image you liked into something more with Rindo, or how to hold them in your heart while moving on like Shoka. It's okay to acknowledge the flaws and shortcomings of the people you look up to. Hell, it’s probably healthy to do that in some ways. As long as they’re still a good person or even helped you grow, you can still celebrate the good they brought

[johannestevans]

not gonna write a whole essay properly formatted etc about it bc i fr cannot be arsed right now but @limonenelieu said to me about reading HAL as a gay man in 2001: A Space Odyssey and i feel like it's broken my brain open, i love it so fucking much, and i wanted to share thoughts

so their initial point was that HAL's voice and manner of speech, particularly his accent and his inflection (esp his neat and clipped enunciation) reminded them of gay-coding discussions in like, disney films and in other movies with gay-coded villains

i agree, and would also add that just the whole idea of like. he is a man (he has a man's voice, they call him he, they think of him as a man) who has literally been programmed to show the Correct Emotions and portray a response explicitly to make his other crewmembers feel more comfortable and at-ease with him.

also the way he speaks and like... this thing HAL does where he asks permission several times before he speaks - lewis compared it to the initial scene in Inglorious Basterds where the n/zi officer is asking permission of the farmer to do things like light a cigarette and sit down etc, and the point is that its the farmer's territory and the officer is a guest in it, but the officer has all the power, and it lays their power dynamic very bare while destabilising the farmer a bit

asking dave if it's okay if he asks a question, then saying it's fine if dave doesn't answer, then finally asking if dave has regrets about the mission - and before dave gives his own answer, being "vulnerable" and saying he had his own anxieties at first

HAL is programmed to make the crewmembers comfortable with him, but this specific manner of making them comfortable by like, asking dave a question in such a way that's really deferential, and makes dave feel like he's leading the conversation or is "in charge" of it?

like it's so similar to me to like... when a wife in the 50s or 60s is asking her husband a question, and she has to couch it in certain ways so he doesn't perceive it as a challenge of his authority or a criticism on his actions, bc she's a woman and he's a man, she's the husband and he's the wife - except in this case like, HAL is a robot (and therefore inherently lesser) and dave is human

like obvs there's so many films where AI is presented as female-coded, and many ppl have written about the politics of techbros' attraction to robots as woman-coded and particularly like, the desire to recreate slave labour and especially forms of slave labour with not just racial tones but also sexualised and misogynistic ones (within the domestic sphere and also re: sex work), and all the anxieties that that comes with?

the techbro's fear of robots fighting back is in many ways a manifestation of their fear of the social order as they see it being overturned - on the one hand, they create robots with sexy or sultry voices, they put them in female bodies they're attracted to, they want a robot that's pretty and subservient in the right way, a robot that will take all the abuse a woman wouldn't these days because of the dreaded feminism, but also that they're allowed to abuse because she's a woman but we can both agree that she isn't human in the same way he is, a man

and obvs those thoughts are further pushed when the sexy robots are given racialised bodies - when they are Black, when they are East Asian, etc, in ways that make them more desirable but also racialise their position in gender roles, and further like, fetishistic views of them etc

(so Her is obviously "falling in love" with a robot, but a film like Ex Machina explores these anxieties far more explicitly)

in 2001, HAL is a man, and he's doing all the labour that the pretty stewardesses were doing on the space station - he's not pretty and he's not right in front of the crewmembers like the stewardesses were, but like. i remember not liking the tone frank used when he was ordering HAL to lower and raise his neckrest when he was laid back on the leather bed, and how it felt demeaning in a way? in many ways because HAL has a personality

things like HAL asking to see the sketches and the idea of this robot taking an interest in art, but also like...

so HAL is a singular eye, right? his character is mostly communicated in the form of his gaze, and his eye represents the whole of his character and his personality, and i was thinking about how for a lot of men at the same seeing 2001: a space odyssey, like

many of them would be veterans, and almost all of them would know a military or naval veteran - and fears of homosexuality in that period were often not of the fruitier, more obvious gay dudes, but like, the perceived anonymity of homosexuality, and homosexuals as a dangerous, hidden underground that seeks to predate on and "turn" or corrupt heterosexual men

the idea that although you might not know his name or his face or have any idea who he is, a homosexual (or multiple homosexuals) might be among you. he might be watching you exercise, or watching you sleep, or taking an interest in you, and you will not know. many gay men obviously fear being looked at as sexual objects, being consumed via the gaze, the way that they look at and consume women

esp bc the stewardesses are presented as similar to the flight hostesses on aeroplanes and w the 60s being such a big period for like, the luxury of this beautiful woman who waits on you hand and foot and whom you can look at and touch and harass and whatever, and she's a mother/wife away from home to comfort you while travelling

the men don't have that on the jupiter mission bc it's not luxury, it's more sparse - instead of a beautiful woman, they have HAL, and instead of a beautiful woman for them to look at, HAL is constantly looking at them

even stuff like HAL reading their lips and the close focus of the camera on their lips as they move?

the language used to discuss HAL is very reminiscent to me too of the ways in which ppl of the period discussed homosexuality - his malfunction, his needing to be corrected, the way dave and frank discuss how his nature has become corrupted and they need to neutralise him, but know tht talking about him where he will hear it will have him resist?

and ultimately what dave does to him is analagous to a lobotomy, something that many gay men of the period experienced as a way to correct what was perceived as a sexual perversion

like it's not about whether HAL was attracted to frank or dave, bc ultimately the fear of gay men is not the fear of a gay man wanting to fuck you specifically - the first and foremost fear is that he is wrong, incorrect, inverse, unnatural, in a way that's unspeakable and is not just about sex, bc it's about his fundamental existence as a man, or a robot you've decided you want to be a man, and the way he's incorrectly fulfilling that role

anyway i liked the flick

[11thwardtls]

Memory Defrag | TRACK 5 - Data Corpulence | Azekawa Kinari's Ward Mayor Novel Translation

Warnings and Disclaimers:

This translation is not professionally done and is not proofread. Edits and clean-ups may come at a later date.

Not a 1:1 translation either and some liberties into localization were taken into account.

This novel will contain spoilers for the Ev3ns Main Story: "Chained Up Scarlet".

Appropriate Content and Trigger Warnings will be added if needed.

May be used for quotebots/masterlists etc.

I am not fluent and self-studying Japanese (albeit at turtle speed), this was translated by ear and with the help of a JP dictionary, so please feel free to point out any errors!

—/—/—/—/—/—

I came out of semi-conscious mode and awakened all at once.

By my bedside, there was a plastic water bottle, with a note stuck to it: “Are you thirsty? Here, if you don’t mind.” in Raito’s handwriting. 

As I am an android, my mouth does not get dry, yet I drank from the bottle anyway.

The room’s interior has been plunged into azure-hued darkness.

I could hear the flapping of the nocturnal birds resting in the trees behind me.

———[At the very least, you could say what’s on your mind in your own words.]

Father’s words repeated several times within my auditory system.

Whenever I recall these words, I start to feel something, slowly.

It’s something that I’ve not been able to properly verbalize.

But now, I’m searching for a meaning within Father’s words, of which I had previously felt nothing upon hearing them. 

“Were his intentions similar to Master’s own words?”

I threw my question into the void.

I suppose that the true nature of Father’s hopes for me, was similar to Master’s own desire to treat me as if I were a fellow human being. 

What Father wanted at the time was not for me to be in a state to channel Kinari’s spirit, but for me to speak out using my own words. 

Rather than words that have been programmed into me, he must have wished to hear my words from the heart.

As I thought, I still deeply regret that I could not do that even at his deathbed.

Yes, there’s some sort of feeling of regret. Likely so. Surely, I thought.

And this sort of emotion is quite surprising in itself.

Because, as an android, I feel an emotion called ‘regret’. 

But looking back on this incident and understanding how I felt while reviewing those memories, perhaps someday I too will gain those 21 grams.

By analyzing, considering, and reflecting……

As Kuguri has previously said, these records can turn themselves into memories. 

[Further verification is still required.]

For that purpose, any and all records shall be preserved without being deleted.

I thought about it for when I have the free time to browse these past data bit by bit, but a message box appeared hovering over my retinas.

[The additional information related to the emotion base is building data corpulence at this time. Would you like to delete those additional parts?]

This newly acquired data is a highly valuable resource that is connected to 21 grams, therefore it cannot be deleted. I selected [No]. 

[The screen glitches for a moment.]

The moment that I’ve made my choice, the image reflected in my retinas became distorted and a noise appeared.

“...?”

I checked on my systems to see if a small error had occurred, but there was no problem.

Right now, I cannot afford to shrink down on my memory any further.

The everydays that would increase from here forward would be also valuable pieces of samples.

With that in mind, I laid down on my bed.

—/—/—/—/—/—

“Today’s a whole extra super awesome ‘nother lesson day~! After finishing with warm ups, we’re doing formation checks, alrightyyyy?” 

Chihiro’s cheerful voice resounded throughout the lesson room this morning.

He always took the initiative whenever it came to practicing.

As always, I put out the tablet and started to record our dance formation———

—But he appeared troubled almost immediately.

“Oh whoopsies! My hard disk is full already~ I can’t record anymore.”

“Isn’t that a large capacity tablet? Why’s there so much data…? Plus, didn’t you say the same thing last month?”

Tao rushed in to check quickly. Chihiro pouted, cheeks puffed up, “I’m an influencer, aren’t I? Don’t tell me you forgot?!”, he retorted.

These two always have this kind of conversation all the time.

“Hahaha, well yeah, your job’s to take pics and all that. So I guess my smartphone…

Ah, right… I dropped it in the bath yesterday and it broke.” 

“Haaaaa. It’s like, soooo unbelievable that such a high-key moronic guy exists in this world!” 

Raito made an offer to do it on his behalf, but then was quickly rejected.

Kuguri gave Raito the stink-eye, as he had no intention of ever lending his own device.

“Welp, there’s no choice then. Kinyari~ can Chii twouble you to do it?”

“Understood.”

In the past eras, humans have used their eyes as a camera when photographic equipment cannot be used. Their video recordings would be burned onto their retina, be available as an output and viewed on another device.

I began to film our dance routine while looking into the mirror.

“Tao, stop. Your hand placement is off by three centimeters.”

“Tao, stop. Your arms are not fully extended.”

“Tao, stop. You mustn’t do this move from your chest, but from your shoulders.”

I added detailed annotations about our mistakes, and by the time I finished them, Chihiro would hug me and say, “Luuuuv ya, Kinyari!”

Chihiro does this more often than not. He also happily rested his cheek by my hair.

“Ahhh, you smell so nice, Kinyari~ Haaaa, you’re just the bestest, the cutest, I loooove you~” 

“Mm. Thank you.”

“Oi, Chihiro, quit messin’ around already. Keep doing that and it’d count as sexual harassment.”

“But if it’s me and Kinyari, we make a super mega cute picture together, so it’s a-okay!” 

“Eh… That so?”

Tao warned him, but Chihiro bit back.

He seemed a bit distressed after listening to Chihiro’s absurd reasoning.

Raito laughed softly as usual, saying, “I’m glad that we all get along so well.”

On the other hand, Kuguri interjected, “Nyushi, if I were to join in as well, wouldn’t it be even prettier?”

This sort of interaction between us unit members had now become the norm.

Chihiro often talked about me so lovingly, yet according to Tao, “Ain’t it because Chihiro used to be an idol otaku and likes cute things?”

Can this kind of love be classified as something that fulfills my father’s hopes and wishes that [Someone who loves you will surely appear]?

I don’t know it yet, but I have long since accepted this circumstance.

“Man, at the end of the day, I was still the one who made the most mistakes again.”

“Tao, you’d be training on your own again today, wouldn’t you? I’ll join as well so let’s do our best together.”[4]

“By the way, Kinari. I accidentally let it slip that you slept longer than usual this morning to Ushio. He seemed quite worried so if you could, please show yourself to him later to let him know.”

“Plüss, won’t you at least punish this wretch of a man for saying something so unnecessary?” 

Chihiro and Tao started to whisper amongst themselves about everyday this and that, while Raito and Kuguri, who were wiping away their sweat, also chatted for a little while. 

I’d say, “Shall we proceed to play and observe the formation video I took on my camera on another device now?”, all four of them, Kuguri—to an extent, would watch somewhat seriously. 

Thus, our discussion on how we could further improve it would then begin. 

I, for once, would like to repeat this moment an innumerable amount of times.

……The thought of it was not at all unpleasant.

“Please give it your all in singing, dancing, your idol activities and live happily!”

This is my firstmost and top priority order I needed to fulfill. It is my very core of being. 

My most important standard of behavior.

However, rather than having to meet that standard, little by little, the desire to fulfill it instead is being born.

What to call this sort of ‘emotion’, I don’t know it yet.

But, I can feel it. I know so.

Emotions that I cannot name yet will continue to grow within my heart.

Surely. Probably. Maybe. 

Someday, even… 

———is what I thought.

—/—/—/—/—/—

Translation Notes: 

1 - This chapter’s title name was very… difficult to word, as 肥大 in particular could be any of the words related to gaining weight/fat. In accordance with this, I used the word corpulence instead to achieve the same meaning across. 

2 - Took liberties with Chihiro’s gyaru-speak. Also yes he did say all of that part (I have screenshot receipts). 

3 - Again, Tao did actually say that. Quite literally in fact too!

4 - I don’t know who said that, but basing off the prose that followed, it seems to be Chihiro? I’m not sure if he’s ever called him anything other than Taotao so please correct me if I’m wrong here! 

—/—/—/—/—/—

Directory:

Main Page | TRACK 1 | TRACK 2 | TRACK 3 | TRACK 4 | TRACK 5

[goldensunset]

this is gonna sound like a really stupid question but bear with me: what does certain kh tracks being "available for streaming" entail, exactly? I thought that the soundtracks were already online; I was able to upload twewy + kh music to my MP3 player in the past by ripping it from youtube. did music streaming sites just... not have it somehow?

they were online unofficially! unlike nintendo, square enix doesn’t seem to care in the slightest if fans upload their stuff on youtube lol. this just means that official kh-related sources have finally properly released their soundtracks and therefore now they’re on commercial streaming sites like spotify. as opposed to just being some 10 year old youtube video from absolutely no one. if you’ve got some means of making youtube work for you as a convenient music app (whether illegally or legally including what you’re doing lol) then this really doesn’t matter at all. it’s like a convenience thing to have it on proper streaming services in official high-quality formats. but who knows someday in the future square might decide to become awful and take down unofficial uploads so it’s just a good sign that they are actually officially uploading them at all. unlike nintendo. but to answer your question no they were never on streaming services previously

[allurasrealm]

PJO TV DEBRIEF (S1)

First of all I would like to say that episode 8 was my favorite of the season ends down. The pacing was good, the storytelling was good, there was tension, suspense, the fight scenes weren't anticlimactic etc. it gives me hope that maybe these writers aren't totally incompetent. I tried to be brief but this post will be long I fear.

THE TRIO

Overall I like the dynamic between the trio, they really picked the right actors. they bounce off of each other well and I can't get enough of them together. Individually their characterization is close enough to what we get in the books however I feel that Annabeth and Grover got nerfed this season (especially Grover).

Percy: I don't think I have much to say. Walker really nails the character. the action, the humor, the line delivery etc. My only issue is that they made him too knowledgeable for my liking and i feel that it was done at the expense of his quest mates.

Annabeth: Same thing as before, Leah really understands the character well. She IS Annabeth. But as others have mentioned before I wish she could express a wider range of emotions throughout the show. I like her a lot more in scenes where she was allowed to be more than a standoffish tactician and was expressing fear and worry either for herself or her friends. however I was disappointed at her reaction at the reveal in the woods with Luke. I mean this is her brother (or so we are told in the show) so I expected her to be more devastated by it. this is as much of a betrayal for Percy as it is for her.

Grover: this Grover feels slightly different than the one in the book but I don't mind at all. Aryan is crushing it! Unfortunately I can't help but feel that this Grover was severely underwritten and underdeveloped. I wish they properly represented how much the Pan quest means to him and how important it was for him to be on this quest to obtain his Searcher's License, that way the finale could've felt that much more satisfying to watch. Overall I feel that he was sidelined a lot more because the kids are apparently too smart to fall into trap, be sidetracked or be tricked by the Mist so that means that Grover's ability to sense monsters was gone and therefore made him a lot less useful to the team. I've noticed as well that the three were often separate to keep Percabeth together while he was by himself and like... why? and even when he made some efforts to contribute to the quest in a meaningful way, those efforts didn't amount to much.

I also take this opportunity to add this because I was discussing it with friends earlier. this might be a reach but I wanted to share our perspective on this anyway:

We were especially annoyed at how they took out some defining traits and ability from Grover and Annabeth or straight up took said abilities to give them to Percy knowing it would leave the two with not much to show for this quest because:

Percy is already the main character so what is the need for it? Percy in the books was never dumb but he was fairly ignorant about the mythical world which led to Annabeth and Grover being the ones to explain things to him (and therefore the audience/readers) but now he's pretty much the knowledgeable member of this team on top of being the one to get most of the action during fights and confrontation (again the others aren't nearly as active as he is here).

I think it's odd that they chose to add more diversity in the cast for this trio but unfortunately fall into the trap of giving their non-white characters the "besties who are there to prop up the main character but don't seem to get to stand on their own" treatment POC often get in media.

I could go on and on about this but it would be best to save that for another post. For future seasons my main hope for these characters is that they explore Annabeth and Grover's interiority with as much care and effort as they do Percy's. I mean seeing as this is a tv show format, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to do this and dive deeper into their respective arc since it's not a first person POV like in the book and yet not much was done.

Bonus (Sally): While I didn't dislike this portrayal of Sally and like that they made her more active and have more agency since the beginning, I'm still disappointed to not see her go through her original arc in the first book that is precisely about how she grows to be that Sally. ever since Percy's birth, he was her priority (understandingly so) and every decision she made was to protect him even at her own expense. I thought there was something beautiful about how she heard of her son's first quest and how it inspired her to take matters into her own hands to regain her agency and freedom. Though I'm fine with this version of Sally, it still doesn't hit the same way as the original story.

Olympus

I loved the way Mount of Olympus and the Underworld were designed and although I had my own preferences and expectations about the Underworld I still like the show version of it. Mount Olympus looks way bigger and grand than I ever imagined it in my head so I loved that about it. no notes.

I also liked most of the gods but mostly because they stuck with the book's descriptions of them. Dionysus was spot on and well cast. I like Ares too and Poseidon. Hermes and Hades felt too much like some guys™ to me and while I can accept it for Hermes, it's difficult to get over it with Hades. and before anyone starts, I'm not asking for a mustache twirling villain because Hades was never that but you'd think the lord of the Underworld would have more gravita than that.

Now Zeus! I was kinda worried at first for the reasons mentioned above but now I don't even know why, I mean they cast Lance Reddick for the role so I should've known this would turn out great. He actually brought the charisma, gravita and authority I was expecting from some of these gods. He gave such a masterful performance in the finale and is the reason why I will be rewatching it. Lance was such a great talent and phenomenal person, he will be deeply missed </3

THE BETRAYAL

I was worried for this part as well because I didn't think they built up for it well enough but considering how Annabeth reacted to the whole thing, I guess it doesn't matter that they didn't show us how close her and Luke were supposed to be I guess. let's take away how truly meaningful that relationship was to Annabeth that way we don't have to worry about it for the final reveal right?

They finally showed us the training session between Luke and Percy and I'm glad because I honestly thought they scrapped that entirely. Even though I still wish it was included way before that, I'm still content about it being included and used as flashback to create a parallel between Percy and Luke.

Generally this Luke is a bit different from the one in the book and that's why I like this Luke better so far.

From what I remember the character in the book seems friendly at first but definitely comes off as a bit sly later so you know there's something up with the guy. Whereas in this show Luke is genuine from the beginning to the end of season 1. You get the sense that Luke actually sees Percy as a friend. He also sees his greatness and potential which make Percy that good of a potential ally and recruit and on top of that we were shown in the flashbacks that both see eye to eye when it comes to the gods. These changes in the story make the character foils that much better and interesting to me.

Finally I want to add that Charlie gave an incredible performance at the end and I am excited to see more of him and what else they have in store for this character!

NEXT SEASONS

For future seasons, they need to give this show more episodes per season so we don't ever get a bad pacing. It was definitely impacting the quality of the writing as well. I didn't dislike all the changes they made. Some of the elements added or changed I ended up enjoying because it fits well in the overall story and add more depth to it. Meanwhile there were events that happened in the book that I didn't like because of the storytelling and writing decisions they made that in my opinion took away the meaning behind them. A lot of the tension and struggles that make this adventure so thrilling were gone as well and I wish the writers could reevaluate that. as mentioned prior I also want the other characters to be more developed and better written.

[m-11o]

HOW MELLO ATTEMPTED TO JOLT HIMSELF. each time his body reminded him of the fact it were running low on reserves. he actively ignores it. staring at the computer screen before him, words blurring together. aggressively knocking at the back or his retnas. careful now: that he reminds himself. sanji to his knowledge was most likely passed out by now. he didn't think he'd miss the @doppogin 's company as much, it felt odd not having him sitting beside him. no longer able to smell the lingering smell of cigarettes and colone. head held up half hazardly by the combination of his arm and elbow. working overtime so his face doesn't make a pillow of the keys.

homicides were seeming to be the perfect excuse of a lullaby. each click taking a bit of his energy with him. carefully he hums; the sound acting as an alarm as his fingers push keys to open the second document. an onslaught of aggressive words, lined and formated in such a way they looked like an army. soon they'd start storming all the way until his mental took a hit.

body so groggy he doesn't pick up on footsteps growing closer. inching ready to pouce ( SANJI INQUIRED : [ WEARY ]: sender notices the receiver about to fall asleep during a task, and picks them up to carry them to bed so that they can actually sleep properly for once. PROMPTED ♡. LOST ) he's scooped up, as mello chooses to gasp. suddenly more awake then he previously was. his body contorts like a spoiled feline. reaching hands as he attempts to tug free, but muscles were comfortable ignoring the suggestions from the brain. “ put me down ! i have to finish that ! ” but thought is broken with a yawn as they continue down the hallway. the alluring sound of the ac clicking on, almost immediately the blonde knew his fight was futile.

a few more pouts, soft struggle before he leans against the warmth radiating off him. being held like a bride usually would bring about more unsavory arguments about how he had legs. functioning ones and therefore didn't need the arms for assistance. none the less its nice, being rocked unintentionally to sleep by sanjis steps. an exhale and he allows his body to untense itself. breathing out a wistful sigh—- seems the new emotion taking reigns of his body were love. affection as his arms wound round the other's neck to keep him close.

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

<< Beginning < Prev || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 73: July 2014

Gertrude is in a foul mood by the time Gerard catches up to her, if the fact that she’s practically bitten her cigarillo in half is any indication. The scowl, the way she’s pacing back and forth, the tapping of the toe—that’s all normal. But the way her teeth clench around the burning cigarillo is a sign that all is not well in Archivist Land.

“Pouri ahau,” he says automatically, stopping just outside of slapping range.

Gertrude shoots him a glare. “You speak Maori? That would have been useful three days ago.”

“I can apologize in forty-seven languages. And thirteen dialects. That’s not exactly the same as speaking a language,” Gerard replies. “Is there anything I can help you with now?”

Gertrude jerks her head over her shoulder and hands him a key—not a plastic key card, but an old-fashioned bit of bent metal that looks like it might date back to European colonization of Aotearoa. “Room 103. The tape is in the recorder and the laptop is set up. I need you to transcribe and format the statement properly.”

“Why not just add the tape to the Archives?” Gerard asks, palming the key. “I mean, why do you bother writing them up at all?”

“I haven’t bothered transcribing the ones that are…relevant. This one isn’t. Should I die before we are able to stop the Unknowing, my predecessor will need as much information as possible.”

Gerard grimaces. “That is not nearly as helpful an answer as you seem to think it is.”

Gertrude glares at him. “Really, Gerard, I wish you would give these things just a little thought. There are hundreds upon thousands of statements in the Archives, and even if only a small percentage of them are true, and an even smaller percentage are relevant to the current situation, how will a new Archivist know where to begin? If they find a tape that does not have a paper statement to match, my hope is that they will pay attention.”

“Makes sense,” Gerard allows. “So this statement you got isn’t relevant, then?”

Gertrude waves her cigarillo dismissively. It droops in the middle as she does so, and she curses and flicks it away. “Go listen and you’ll understand.”

Obediently, Gerard heads into the inn and goes searching for the room. He’s not surprised she picked this place; it’s small, out of the way, and probably keeps records by hand, so the likelihood of anyone finding out they’ve been here is slim. Of course they can likely trace her plane tickets, but first of all there’s the question of whether or not they would, and second of all she flew into Wellington. This is a good distance away—it took him a while to find her and she’d told him where to meet her—so there’s every chance their location can remain a secret.

Room 103 is an inner room with no windows, which is appropriate to Gertrude’s usual level of paranoia. (Is it actually paranoia if they’re really out to get you? a voice whispers in his mind, a voice he feels like he should recognize but doesn’t and therefore ignores.) He locks the door behind him out of habit and turns to see, as promised, the tape recorder, a set of cheap over-the-ear headphones, and the laptop set out on the small table. The fact that the room is otherwise empty tells him this is his room, not Gertrude’s, and he scans until he locates the connecting door. He checks it, and sure enough, it’s unlocked on both sides and leads to a mirrored but otherwise identical room with Gertrude’s laptop bag and kit bag set out on the dresser.

He locks the door on his side with malice aforethought before heading back to the table.

By the laptop is set up, Gertrude clearly means I changed the settings and it’s unlocked. She’s ruthless about making sure Gerard can’t access any of her files without her knowledge. Out of curiosity, and a bit of boredom, and a bit of bitter spite lingering from the fact that he just had to leave his brother and sister again and it hurts, he’s not sure why it’s so much harder than usual this time, he clicks into the settings to see if he can either find out what her password is or change it to something he’ll remember, only to discover that the old bat has deleted her password entirely. Further investigation proves that actually what she’s done is set up a secondary profile without admin privileges that can’t access any of her files, just for Gerard.

Gerry, the voice that he both knows and doesn’t know whispers in his mind.

What? He blinks and talks back to the voice, even though it’s probably just his thoughts.

Gerry, the voice repeats, and God it’s so infuriating that he can’t place whose voice it is. Your friends call you Gerry. You have friends. You are loved and deserving of love. Stop calling yourself Gerard and start calling yourself Gerry, even if Gertrude fucking Robinson doesn’t. Be your own friend. God knows you could use one right about now.

Gerard—Gerry—nods slowly, and feels something warm settle inside him, and wonders what the fuck that’s all about. Then he shakes off the weird sensation, pulls his notebook and pen out of his bag, snaps on the headphones, and pushes PLAY.

It’s not the first time he’s heard a statement. She’s had him do this a couple times, although usually she’s in the room for it; this one must really bother her if she doesn’t want to listen again. On the other hand, the date is today’s—he confirms that with the time displayed at the bottom of the screen—so maybe she just doesn’t want to hear it twice in rapid succession. Especially since he usually has to make her stop and replay sections when the tapes get too far ahead of his typing; he’s fast, but not that fast. Since she’s not here, though, Gerry decides to deploy his secret weapon.

He hopes he can remember how to do this.

It comes back to him fairly quickly as he listens, the loops and scrawls he first learned the summer he turned fourteen, the summer Melanie almost had a breakdown because she and Martin wouldn’t be in all the same classes in the fall and she couldn’t take notes fast enough to keep up and be sure of understanding them. If she’d had her dyslexia diagnosis three years earlier she might have just brought a tape recorder to class, but then Gerry found a book on the Gregg shorthand method, and it helped, or at least she said it did; they eventually developed their own variant on it. Since they’d moved past writing letters to one another when they were separated, Gerry at least fell out of the habit. He doesn’t know if Martin and Melanie still use it and makes a note to ask them when he gets home. In the meantime, he uses it to scrawl down the statement in more or less real time.

It’s not a pleasant statement, that’s for sure, but the Flesh is rarely pretty. He supposes it could be worse. At least it wasn’t a gigantic chicken. He remembers getting chased through the Spanish countryside by a particularly vicious flock, and those were just ordinary chickens. It isn’t hard to look in the eyes of a rooster and know it’s the last living descendant of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and that it’s aware of that fact too. Pigs are nasty, but at least you expect to get eaten by a pig…if you know anything about them, anyway. Most people don’t.

Gerry snaps himself back to the present as the man on the tape begins going on about a circus. He understands now why Gertrude wanted this statement in the first place, and why she’s so upset now. It’s not just any circus she wants, it’s the Circus of the Other—Martin will probably know how to say it in Russian without Gerry even having to translate it—but of course she can’t say that. Can’t tell people she’s looking for a Russian circus, or a circus that isn’t supposed to be there. No, she’s got to be all vague and mysterious and imprecise, and then she gets annoyed when they don’t tell her what she wants to hear. If she’d just ask up front, they wouldn’t waste her time so much, but why should she listen to him?

He can’t help but chuckle a little at the end—he can only imagine what Gertrude’s face must have looked like when the man offered her bacon—and then the tape clicks off. He studies it briefly, then skims over his shorthand notes. Concrete. Seems a neat solution, if a bit quiet and controlled for Gertrude’s usual methods, but then again she wouldn’t risk burning down the man’s livelihood just to destroy a monster pig. Maybe. Probably. She might if it had actually been the Stranger, but not for the Flesh.

Sighing, he takes off the headphones and turns to the laptop. Easier to transcribe his notes, he thinks, than to try and type while listening. He remembers Melanie telling him once about court stenographers, and how they have a special keyboard that types in shorthand, and he thinks it’s too bad Gertrude can’t set her laptop up to do that. Then he pushes the thought out of his mind and gets to typing.

He’s just about done when he hears the rattle of someone trying to turn, then jiggling the doorknob behind him. A moment later, he hears Gertrude’s muffled voice. “Gerard. Gerard, open the door.”

“Sorry, what’s that? I can’t hear you,” Gerry calls over his shoulder, trying to sound as innocent as possible while typing as fast as he can to get to the end of the statement. “There’s a door in the way.”

“Gerard Albrecht Keay, I do not have time for this.” Gertrude’s voice was dark and ominous. “Unlock this door at once or I will compel every secret you possess out of you.”

“All right, all right, no call for that, it was just a bit of fun,” Gerry grumbles. He types the last line, quickly folds his notepad closed and tucks it in his pocket, then gets up to open the door. “Sorry. Wasn’t completely sure you had that room and I didn’t want to risk someone walking in who wasn’t supposed to. Not while I had the statement open.”

“Hmm, yes, quite.” Gertrude doesn’t seem inclined to apologize, but she at least stops yelling. “Are you finished transcribing it yet?”

“Just got to the end. I see what you mean. Flesh, is it?”

Gertrude nods crisply. “That particular threat is at the very least contained, but I am rather disappointed the lead didn’t pan out.” She tilts her head at him. “How did yours turn out?”

Right. Gerry told her he had a lead to follow up on, which was why he’d gone back to England after Beijing rather than come with her to Wellington. Luckily, thanks to Melanie and a bit of gossip she picked up from someone in her ghost hunting circles, he at least has a thread they can look into. “Actually, I do. Town called Tonopah, Nevada, in the US.”

Gertrude raises an eyebrow. “Oh? Do tell.”

“There’s a motel there called the Clown Motel. No, I’m not making this up,” Gerry adds, seeing the look on her face. “Honestly, it’s there. And equally honestly, it’s right next to an abandoned cemetery…��

“Oh, really, Gerard.”

“I’m serious! According to my source, the graveyard is mostly miners, and it’s a fairly well-known haunt, but, well, as creepy as the motel is, it’s never really been associated with anything…supernatural.” Gerry spreads out his hands, palms up. “Until recently. One of those ghost hunting shows over there went to do a bit on the cemetery and stayed in the motel because it’s the most convenient place, and…it went weird. My source didn’t have too many details, not specific ones. All I know for sure is that one of the crew members swore they were being followed by one of the clowns.”

“Clowns do tend to move.”

“Not when they’re painted on cinder brick walls, they don’t.”

Gertrude pauses, but in that moment, Gerry knows he’s won. He presses his advantage. “Could be the Spiral, but clowns…that’s almost always the Stranger. We wear the mask that grins and lies…”

At that, Gertrude looks up sharply. “What was that?”

“Uh, it’s a poem. ‘We Wear the Mask.’” Gerry tries and fails to remember who it’s by, or where Martin learned it.

“You weren’t…compelled to say that?” Gertrude continues to interrogate him, digging at him with razor-keen precision. He appreciates that she isn’t compelling him, at least.

Gerry taps the eye on the hinge of his jaw twice with a forefinger. “I’d know if I was. It’s just a poem a kid I knew recited once that stuck with me.”

Not exactly a lie, but a bit of a misdirect. Martin’s not just “some kid he knew”, and while the poem had in fact struck Gerry hard when he’d first heard Martin recite it, he’d actually learned it by dint of making him repeat it several times until Martin finally gave him his copy. He recites it for Gertrude now.

“Hmm.” She purses her lips. “An interesting poem. I can’t say if it’s relevant here, but it does seem to be of the Stranger.” She closes her laptop and picks up both it and the tape recorder. “Come. If we’re going    to get to Nevada in a timely fashion, we need to get to the airport sooner rather than later. You haven’t unpacked, have you?”

“When have I had the time?”

As usual, his sarcasm rolls right off her. “Good. An abandoned cemetery next to a motel already full of clowns in a largely empty desert would be an ideal spot for a ritual unobserved, so if the Unknowing is going to be held there, we need to be on the spot to disrupt it.”

Gerry finds, as he follows Gertrude out the door and to the rental car at the curb, that he’s actually desperately hoping she’s right, and the Unknowing is happening in Tonopah, Nevada. Because if it is, then they can stop it without having to go back to England or involve anybody else in their fight. The world will be safe from being taken over by the Stranger.

And, most importantly, Martin and Melanie will be safe, too.

[mindrole]

some disorganized thoughts under the cut because formatting is a mess and for once i feel shame about leaving a mess laying around the dashboard (polite bow)

as you would guess, it is CoM discussion as always. it's quite long, and its partly about the literary parallels from the picture of dorian gray! (but towards the end theres a lot of speculation from my brain and not based on much also, its a mixed bag)

i appreciate any feedback!!!

thinking about it now. i think the obvious combo most people are thinking of right off the bat is

dorian = miwa lord henry = rui basil = shiharu

to some extent, sybil = dita and james = eigha

(though i am almost certain there is no "eigha" in rosemaria, its just shiharu in his full consciousness hamming it up because he's been put in the eigha role by, presumably, some kind if internal rule in rosemaria, some one that seems to block miwa from being mentioned without distorting. it's different from miwa, who seems to be confused and/or dissassociated... its hard to write this post and gloss over details but i will write my thoughts properly eventually. a lot of this hinges on findings in miwa's apartment... idk, either way, this shit is fucking weird)

probably that second part is from me, but. idk. i forgor. and this is probably true and the most direct role assignment there is

but im also thinking... what if it was a mess? since c0e had several possible assignments that could be true at any time, therefore i also feel like this can be true at the same time as the first:

dorian = shiharu lord henry = azuma basil = miwa

hear me out. its not too out there because there's actual evidence to it in the interlude but, you know

we know miwa is obsessed with shiharu. we don't know the nature of this obsession (lol) (lmao), but he keeps hydrangeas in his dressing room apparently (lol). my own guess is that its admiration mixed in with "the fragments are not normal about the haradas (and the utsugis) ever". to have such an obsession form with such little contact over such a short period of time— first report where miwa and taka discuss the eigha recast is dated to february 2018, filming had not begun yet, and presumably miwa hadn't properly met him as a result— is quite bonkers to me. but all fragments are frankly quite mentally ill, who cares, he's in show business too playing a 3D anime boy his brain is absolutely beyond fried at this point.

the interesting thing is that there is evidence that shiharu is obsessed with him too, but in a very different way. is it different...? i don't know, we don't know what miwa thinks exactly so i'm going off of my own mental image. which is miwa admires him for whatever reason, maybe he's exceeded his expectations and can hold his own as an actor for example, who knows. but it is different.

now i said earlier that i was almost certain "there is no eigha in rosemaria". i think it's because if you look at the eigha quotes in the com page, i think they are incredibly strange. eyeballing them they ARE quite chuunibyou. they're very intimidating demon lord-ish. now im not gonna translate stuff because honestly im incredibly wary of misrepresenting the work so i won't attempt to transcribe anything, though given i'll talk about it from my interpretation it's probably fine even without. anyway, when you think about it, this especially is strange:

hey, "eigha", why are you talking about miwa?!! that's clearly miwa isnt it (though i did not notice this until it was pointed out to me...tehepero)!!! eigha should be concerned about dita!! isn't this common sense?! at first, i assumed it was eigha being sentient, reaching past the curtain or fourth wall to possess either actor who portrayed him in an effort to stop ditasword from ending, trapping miwa so he can be dita forever... but it recently dawned on me that the culprit behind miwa teita's attack in july 2018 cannot be anyone but harada shiharu!!!

that's right!!

the reasoning is (not) simple!! it is (not) straightforward, really!!

i was thinking that taka, the original person who played eigha, was probably the culprit... after all miwa had to rush the production on which caused him to be recast right at his final performance. pretty kuyashii. i assumed he snapped, or someone manipulated him, or what i originally assumed about eigha, a fictional character, becoming sentient. no such thing. when you think about it... there is no clearer red herring than this. i am almost certain that he'd be the first immediate suspect in com, as he is the only one who is immediately identifiable as someone with a motive, until you check miwa's phone records and see that he attempted to call someone at the time of his disappearance. it will be him!! i can bet money on this (don't actually come after me for this plz)

that is why i say there's no eigha in rosemaria, just someone playing the part.

here are some pointers about this "eigha"

it seems like at first, he is welcoming of the party, ushering them to the world, as if they were lost lambs... ones rejected by the real world.

eventually probably when it seems like they do not want to stay, and will take miwa back with them, its full mask off (hehe), suddenly its im gonna eliminate you guys to protect this world!!! and such, so he repeatedly attacks them.

but the main issue isn't that they rejected rosemaria. it's that when rui entered, he started to influence "dita" and attempt to extract him. he is his client after all even if he's confused. it means that someone is trying to make miwa leave rosemaria. at this point, there is no bargaining anymore. anyone who attempts to do this is getting BTFO'd.

so really, this eigha's goal is to protect miwa, not dita.

to wrap it back around the literary reference. the subtitle of cell of mirage is the picture of eigha iliner.

here comes the smoking gun. as you may recall miwa had posters of both the tv series and of the latest movie. of course it's different eighas. but the movie poster was strange. the movie poster that had harada shiharu's eigha was strange. ryuu made an observation i took a little too literally for a long time (because im a cute little dummy), until the other day:

according to ryuu's observation, this eigha looks older than the first one.

at any rate, there's no reason to doubt his point of view here. everything in the interlude is a clue put there for a purpose. so my assumption at first was, huh. is he older? is he just very ikemen or something? and was a little perplexed by it. but... this poster... which is in miwa's possession... in his bathroom... the eigha in it is aging!!! the harada shiharu in this poster is aging!!!! that's right!! they wouldn't hire someone that visibly looks older in a movie to replace someone when the movie has continuity with a tv show— and they would probably retouch the poster to hide imperfections (so signs of aging). it is... absolutely aging...

now if we recall back to the picture of dorian gray... dorian's portrait aged in his stead, absorbing all the sins he committed, as a result not only aging but also becoming more and more ugly. he would eventually go on to kill basil— who practically begged him to repent— over it in a fit of anger.

i do not need to tell you that wrath and violence is bad. so i believe that shiharu is the one that attacked miwa that night. but miwa is a fragment, he may have "died" then, but the injury was probably a trifle and he regenerated and maybe retaliated, and somehow the mirage phenomena was triggered as a result whether on purpose or not and both were transported. this is just in laconic really, there's definitely more to discuss about this but for this post this is the info i need. next post i will talk about this properly.

so they are both each other's dorians and basils in different ways. it is assured mutual destruction. also don't forget that ditasword ends with dita sacrificing himself to either kill or seal away eigha (iirc it doesn't say what exactly, but both of them are BTFO absolutely)

now this is going from speculation based on proof to fully filling in blanks that are undefined (so adjacent to fanfic really since there is little evidence) but, he may have confided in shiharu about being a fragment and possibly whatever bad things that came with it, and was wholeheartedly accepted by shiharu=miwa grew attached to him, and eventually when it felt appropriate to do so he told him that he will retire and go away forever. why tell him about his condition and not anyone else closer to him? idk, fragment interacting with a harada moment, lol.

so in this moment, if shiharu had become fiercely overprotective of him as a result to the point where he would attack him and whether on purpose or not get them both sent to rosemaria, if he would go to such an extreme... what would influence him?!! if he is the dorian in this interpretation, then he may have attempted to get answers from azuma, who is absolutely involved in like 20 things at once. like why is miwa retiring? where is he going? if he pointed him in a certain direction, like, "i know a way you can stop it[stop miwa from going away/keep protecting him]." or something like that. that is absolutely making him lord henry... in a very literal sense as he is clearly an antagonistic force who is using miwa and whoever else as pawns. though lord henry introduces dorian to indulgence and depravity just for the fuck of it, because he is a hedonist... much to think about.

conversely! the more apparent reading that comes from just guessing! miwa doesn't age by default so it superficially plays into some of the traits that dorian has, and shiharu who may be trying to protect him from the real world that hurt him, that rejected him[his fragment status], is basil. because remember, dita having pink hair and red eyes is normal in rosemaria. which means miwa is normal too. the real world is not as kind as rosemaria! or something. so i think this was miwa's dream initially (he may have even expressed this to shiharu without thinking) before he came to possibly change his mind as in the encrypted email azuma's assurance that it isn't solely his responsibility implies that miwa feels guilt over the mirage incidents = he is absolutely involved in a great capacity. imo, on top of all that, he may have also wanted to stay because he finally had someone who cared about him genuinely. too late for that, if he tried to talk sense into shiharu it didn't work, he is now in rosemaria with no sense of "miwa teita". it is not dissimilar to how dorian attacked and killed basil, hid his possessions and got someone to "disappear" the body. rui, who is trying to pry into the delusion of rosemaria to bring everyone— including miwa especially— back to the real world, is lord henry.

and these two readings coexist. they are not mutually exclusive. they build off of the exact same sentiment.

P.S. there are absolutely other combis that work with some precursory thought— but i wish there was more information out there...

P.S. P.S. woe upon thee!!!!!!!!

[detroitbecomeonline]

DBH MODDING (9) - MISTAKES WITH MAP SWAPS & MORE TEXTURES

Hello everyone and

Dear Diary

Welcome to this mod diary! In case you missed it, here is my last entry. I had a long break from modding because I went on a road trip with my fiancé. It's currently 24/02/23 and I was hesitant to get back into modding because it takes a LOT of brain power, but in the wise words of Bryan Dechart: "Just care less."

Unfortunately in this entry, I don't have a lot of info to share, but I have some crap that may be useful!

I'll organise my mod diaries a little more so that they're easier to comprehend. I will now keep a list of links at the end of my mod diaries so that they're easy to access.

TOPIC ONE: Map swaps.

I wanted to get into map swaps, so the learning began. Just to recap what Kayla (the legend herself) told me:

"Map swapping is only achievable with hex editing."

"Find and swap out the bytes of those maps."

"In HxD you can simply filter maps/models by name."

"[Filter] out other codes unrelated to maps by typing the name of a map (for example Eden Club) into the hex editor’s search function."

"Outfit swaps work similar to swapping maps with HxD."

BigFile.dat contains some outfits and handbags.

(This is all paraphrased.)

At the start, I immediately tested searching "Eden Club" in the .dat file.

Yup, it works. If you search "Partners", nothing comes up, but I remembered something I stumbled upon in my adventures. It's saves and checkpoints, and in there had what I believe are the original names for the saves and therefore the maps. The list for this is on the left, and on the right is the list for map variations due to character choices (including the directory at the top):

My goal is to swap the Hostage map over with A New Home.

(.dat) Hostage - 48 6F 73 74 61 67 65 (.dat) Todd house - 54 6F 64 64 20 68 6F 75 73 65

I thought these would be the data containers for the maps, but they are not. Maybe I needed to make multiple data containers from the Detroit Tool invisible? I asked Kayla for more details and learned that mucking around with maps requires only the hex editor. Here is the Ask.

I started to look into reverse engineering. I included some extra links at the end of the entry. Here is a YouTube video I skipped through to start my research.

So I tested a swap in the .dat file and obviously, it did not work. I need the codes. I cannot get the codes without reverse engineering. I am not up to the stage of learning reverse engineering. I don't even know a programming language. (Not that I don't plan to learn, of course.)

In the end, I express my difficulty to the modding community, and dragonbane0 said it was okay for Jamie to release the codes! We're just waiting for a write-up for the instructions (which she may post herself, I actually don't know). So hopefully next entry there will be the instructions or a link to the instructions.

TOPIC 2: Textures and texture maps.

Remember these pics from my second mod diary entry?

The "RGB" maps as I nicknamed them are actually called specular maps. It indeed has to do with the shininess of the material. Usually, a specmap is black and white. Any game can store texture data however they want, and in DBH's case, the logic reads the "RGB" specmaps because that's how the channel data gets stored.

My next move with a different texture map was to do with the roughness of Upgraded Connor's jeans. I want to make them look relatively smooth like work slacks.

I got stuck because the image format was in DX10 and I can't export DX10 from GIMP.

I proceeded to download some plugins that I thought would fix my problem. They didn't, but this is generally helpful anyway. How to install plugins.Plugin download landing page.

I asked modders about it, and Auguris said that the Tool will accept DX1 format. So I was like ok ok ok

NEVER MIND. LMAO. Somehow it doesn't read the image properly. There would be ways to get around it, but right now I don't care enough to try. Low on the list of priorities.

Anyway, so after checking out the normal map stuff on GIMP, I realised (yes, I'm an idiot) that I could edit and import any normal map. So I tried editing the material on the back of the RK900's jacket, and I made it smooth. Basically, you can edit normal maps exactly like any other colour map, it just translates the data differently.

If anyone has any questions about anything in this entry, feel free to contact me and I'll include answers in my next one. <3

~ Trinity

Summary:

Map swapping is only achievable with hex editing by finding and swapping out the bytes of those maps.

The red-green-blue maps are called specular maps.

The Tool will take the DX1 image format in place of a DX10, but it will be broken.

Links in this entry:

YouTube video: 'How to reverse engineer your favourite game'

Map swap ask answer from Kayla

gimp-dds download landing page

YouTube video: How to install Gimp2 8, DDS Plugin, and the Normal Map Plugin

Bonus stuff I found:

YouTube video: 'Download and Install GIMP Resynthesizer Plugin for Windows 2022'

The Cutting Room Floor (mod info for other games)

Ghidra download landing page

P.S. I'm wishy-washy when it comes to tagging people in my posts, so if you see your name and want to be tagged please let me know... Because I think all my tagging would be super annoying lol

[fandomsareforlife]

Secret Santa Fic: I Think We Are Going To Be Friends

@istanrandomfandoms I was your secret Santa! Thank you to @songtam for hosting this!

So, uh fun fact: I currently am on vacation and as such can not properly ensure that my formatting is correct. So I apologize if this looks terrible.

Quick summary/trigger warnings: Dex hosts Jensi, Fitz, Keefe, and Tam over for a sleepover. Dex is an anxious person and worries over whether or not they actually want to be there. TW are probably for a non-graphic description of a possible panic attack that is warded off, some intrusive thoughts and a few swears here and there.

Uh, a few notes that are totally optional: I actually have never been to a sleepover so I apologize for any inaccuracies. Also, this is not the most accurate description of anything, so take this all with a grain of salt. And I still can’t end things or make good titles.

So enjoy all 2k words of this!

Dex didn’t know how he got stuck being the one who held most of the hangouts for the guys. After all, he wasn’t the best student or the most popular or the most social. He couldn’t even promise a quiet place to study.

Of course, there were a few possibilities as to why. Dex’s house was the one closest to their school. Dex had the best snacks. Dex has the best study method.

The most likely was simple because Dex’s parents were the best of the group. Tam, Fitz, and Keefe all had distant and harsh parents and too big, empty and quiet houses. And Jensi’s parents had been cold to them ever since they caught going to the musical meetings.

Dex’s house, on the contrary, was full of love and noise. It was big, but it felt full to the brim. There was a warmth that was missing from the others.

No matter what the reasoning was, Dex’s house was the unofficial-official hangout place.

Friday was one of the many times that this was brought into play. The guys were coming over that night, and they were having a sleepover. They were definitely going to do homework, but they were also going to do activities like watch movies and talk.

This wasn’t the first one Dex had hosted a sleepover, but it was the first time he had so many people at one. He loathed to admit it, but he was nervous. Dex knew that was normal, but he felt like it was admitting weakness.

But it was all going to go well. If Dex believed that, then it had a higher chance of going well. That was the idea, right?

—------

This was a terrible idea. The sleepover was going to go all wrong. Everyone was going to hate him for it. Nothing Dex could do was right.

These were some of the thoughts that were racing through Dex’s head the day of the sleepover. It was a train of thought that Dex tried to avoid, but he couldn’t always avoid it.

It wasn’t even anything that serious. He just had heard some kids talking about how boring sleepovers were during physics.

“I hate going to sleepovers. Seriously, it’s basically just watching a movie and sleeping. We could just do it during the day,” was what some kid in physics said. There were a good amount of other kids who agreed.

That comment allowed all the anxieties Dex had buried down in his head to rear their ugly heads.

He didn’t want some of the only people who tolerated him to start resenting him. Sure, they were only friends since Sophie was his cousin, and they didn’t feel the need to be close friends with him.

Unfortunately, it meant that they were only hanging out with Dex outside of when they had to make Sophie happy.

Therefore, if Dex screwed the sleepover up, then the other guys would probably not want to hang out with Dex for any other reason that they could avoid.

So Dex had to make sure not to screw up the first big sleepover he ever had.

Everything was counting on him!

He wasn’t sure he could do it.

********

The time for the sleepover had finally arrived, and Dex didn’t feel prepared at all for it.

Sure, he had prepared his bedroom (that really was the size of a small apartment) with as many snacks and blankets as he could get away with. And he had as many movies as he could find all by the tv he had, and he even managed to convince the triplets that they weren’t to disturb them.

Therefore, Dex had no real reason to be nervous. But he was. And it didn’t make sense.

Dex couldn’t afford to make any huge mistakes, and he would barely get away with all the small ones he would make. But he had to try and not destroy the friendships he had.

Ding Dong.

The first person was here. Dex raced downstairs towards the door, hoping that he would get there first.

Unfortunately, Dex’s mom got to the door first. Dex was almost at the foyer when he saw Tam and Keefe’s faces.

“Hi, Dex!” greeted Keefe. “Long time no see. How you doing?”

“I’m good,” Dex replied. He motioned his mom to go away, but she didn’t seem to get the message. “How are you guys?”

Tam shrugged. “Fine. We walked here together. Fitz and Jensi are coming soon.”

Dex nodded perhaps a bit too vigorously. He exclaimed just a tad too loud, “Sweet!” Dex then felt himself blushing. He did not have to be that loud.

Thankfully, Tam and Keefe didn’t seem to bothered by it.

“Why don’t you guys go up to Dex’s room?” Dex’s mom requested.

“Sure!” replied Keefe. “Come on, you guys! I want to see how Dex’s room was set up!”

Tam nodded. “Okay. Mrs. Dizzne, can you send Jensi and Fitz upstairs when they ge-“

There were three knocks heard from the door, and Dex made his way to open it this time. Standing in the door way was Fitz and Jensi.

“Hello,” Fitz greeted. “I see we’re the last ones here.”

“Yeah, we are,” Jensi agreed.

“Hi, guys. We were just about to go to my room, if that’s okay with everyone,” Dex explained. He really wanted to get away from his mother’s gaze and back to the safety of his room.

Dex trodden up the stairs, and the others followed.

“I have to warn you guys that it’s a bit messy,” Dex stated just before he opened the door to his room.

“That’s okay. My room is also a mess,” Jensi chuckled.

Opening the door, Dex gave his room just one more glance. He regretted not taking down all his posters, but at least all of his clothes were put away.

“Can I sit on the bed?” Fitz asked. He pulled his bag closer to his chest. Dex remembered that Fitz never really asked for things.

“Sure,” Dex chirped. “I call floor.” While the floor had multiple blankets, it wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep. Dex had actually planned to take it so the others didn’t have to.

“Cool, I call the couch,” Keefe announced. He took Tam’s hand, and dragged him to the coach with him. Dex had to admit that Tam’s angry expression was pretty hilarious.

Tam glared at Keefe. “What are you doing? I can just sleep on the floor.”

“What? Lord Hunky Hair not good enough for you?”

Tam kicked Keefe as he moved towards the floor. “You kick in your sleep.”

Tam put his sleeping bag on the floor next to Dex. “Dex, I am joining you on the floor.”

“Sure,” Dex squeaked. Dex hoped he didn’t kick Tam in his sleep.

“I guess I got the hammock?” Jensi asked rhetorically. They simply sighed as he put his bag on the hammock before sitting.

There was silence as the teens got themselves settled. Dex could not figure out if it was comfortable or not.

Eventually, Fitz broke it.

“So what do you guys want to do?” Fitz inquired. Dex felt cold shame fill him. He had things they could do planned, but he quickly realized that they were super embarrassingly juvenile.

“Well, could we play truth or dare?” Tam suggested, tongue between teeth. “I think that could be fun.”

“Sure!” Dex cried. He then realized that he might have sounded a bit too enthusiastic. He hoped that no one would judge him for that.

The teens sat on the floor in a circle. Fortunately, Dex had the foresight to make sure his carpet was clean.

“I call going first!” Jensi yelled. “Keefe, truth or dare?”

“Uh, dare obviously,” Keefe replied.

Jensi’s face scrunched up in mock concentration. “How about you do a cartwheel?”

Keefe recoiled. “Why?” he whined. “You know that I can’t do that.”

Jensi chuckled. “Should have thought of that earlier!”

Keefe grumbled, but he got up reluctantly. He walked a good distance away, and put his hands in the air. Lowering them, he stumbled and fell on his face. Dex laughed along with the others. It was pretty comical, after all.

“See guys?” Keefe asked rhetorically. “I don’t know how to do one.”

Keefe eventually moved back to the circle. “Tam, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Tam stated.

Keefe rubbed his hands together. “Alright then. If you had to take someone in this room on a date, who would you take?”

Tam responded, “Not you. Maybe Fitz?” Tam tapped his chin. “He doesn’t talk during movies, unlike the rest of you. He isn’t as annoying either.”

“Thank you for the compliment,” Fitz responded. “I will hold it close to me.” The other guys started laughing, but it took Dex a few minutes to realize that Fitz was being sarcastic.

“Alright, who's the next victim?” Jensi asked after they finally calmed down.

“Dex,” Tam announced. Dex felt his palms become instantly ten times more sweaty, if that was even possible.

“Uh…Truth?” Dex mumbled.

“Alright,” Tam replied. “Why are your hands shaking? They have been since we got here.”

Well, there went Dex’s plan of keeping his anxiety hidden. He should have really expected that.

Dex figured that his best choice was to just be honest.

“Well, you know how it is. Anxiety and all that stuff. I’m used to it,” Dex joked. Surely if he made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, then they wouldn’t treat it like a big deal. That was pretty sound logic.

Apparently it was not, if the others' faces were anything to go by.

“Dex.” Fritz’s voice sounded choked. “You shouldn’t be used to that. No one should be.”

The others nodded in agreement.

Jensi added, “If you want, we can just cancel the sleepover. It’s not worth it if it makes you anxious.”

Keefe moved towards Dex, and he grabbed Dex’s hands. Dex distantly remembered that Keefe had like some magical ability that allowed him to figure out what someone was feeling if he touched them.

Keefe asked, “What do you want to do, Dex?”

Dex couldn’t grasp a solid thought. Every thing in his head was moving too fast and too slow all at once. He could not fuck this up. He just couldn’t.

Everyone was going to leave him since he messed up and he is a human disaster who doesn’t deserve things and why didhethinkthiswasagoodidea????

“DEX!” a voice shouted. Dex realized that he was breathing very heavily and his eyes were closed. There were hands holding his hands.

Dex forced his eyes open. Sitting in front of him was still Keefe. Keefe who was safe.

“Are you back with us?” Keefe asked softly. Dex gave a small nod in response. He didn’t trust his voice.

“Alright. Mind explaining what just happened?” Keefe inquired. Keefe’s voice was soft and kind. It was a trick. Keefe was trying to let his guard down.

Dex was powerless against his desires to let his guard down. He rationalized it by thinking that at least he would be able to be free from the pretenders.

“Why do you keep hanging out with me when Sophie’s not here? Sophie is the best person ever, and I am just her messed cousin who is obsessed with tech. I can’t barely get through the first hour of a sleepover without breaking down. Why do you keep coming back for me?” Dex’s voice broke saying the last sentence, his voice barely above a whisper. Dex’s hands found their way into his hair and were pulling at his red locks.

Jensi spoke up. “Hey man. Why would we do that? We like you for you. Not because of Sophie. Not because of anyone else. We like you for you.”

Dex looked up towards the other two. Tam had a sad look on his face, and Fitz was nodding.

Tam added, “I became your friend since you were interesting. I don’t became friends with people just because we have a mutual friend. They have to earn it.”

Fitz gave Dex a perplexed look. “I don’t understand how you didn’t know that we wouldn’t be here if we were not friends. Why would you sleep over at someone’s house if they are not your friend?”

Dex started crying, but this time his tears were of happiness.

Maybe they were lying. But Dex wanted to believe that they were telling the truth.

“Thanks guys,” Dex choked out.

“You’re welcome,” Tam responded, and the others gave similar replies.

Dex gave a small grin and asked, “So, Jensi. Truth or dare?”

The teens laughed and continued their game. The sounds of laughter would continue on for the rest of their lives.

[nyxokal]

I have been using the same format for two years and I don't care. Anyway here's my art summary, more thoughts under the cut!!

For starters I have only been doing digital art for like, two years now?? I'm still really new at it and I don't know how to do it properly so it kind of sucks still. And oftentimes I just wanna draw my blorbos so I don't particularly care much abt my art but yeah

Anyways, January and February I just focused on drawing fun dnd things!! I like em. By March though I had a pretty fucking nasty Incident where I lost use of my right arm for about a month and all I had for that month was a doodle I drew WHILE my arm was in pain. Never do that, it sucks

I healed though and by April I finally got to do more stuff again, still focusing on my Blood Hunter Lucien the most. I like that piece. It's on my blog. I barely did much in May and June bc I think that's when I got Consumed by Elden Ring, but I drew my dnd ship arolu (May) and my Tarnished whom I made into a backup character (June). His name is Corpse. Maybe someday I'll upload that picture

July comes and I manage to draw something before my arm goes back to fucked up. So after that piece there, I took it easy. August I barely drew and only had a fun lil piece where Lucien swapped outfits w his party members, and September I BARELY drew bc I had to go on a business trip for the whole month. The one I drew there tho is my RO Hunter, Cynn

By October I wanted to do Halloween pieces but couldn't, but I redesigned Lucien for the in-game winter months!! Took a month to get that outfit down tho. November I was already in Jojo hell so I drew Kakyoin, but I barely drew more bc I once again left on a business trip. So December I have so far only drawn two things, and I got lucky I wanted to draw these past two days at all, with the piece for December being the most recent (I finished it today)

Overall I dunno if my art improved, but I did draw less. I draw when I feel like it though which means sometimes I just Do Not, so I don't mind not drawing more

Anyways that's about it. For reference, here are 2020 and 2021's summaries, just to have them here for myself

I do like how you can see when I got into dnd (March more or less) and who my obsession was (Zelos) here lmao. Anyways this was the year I got my first tablet!! Which I still use today. And therefore the art here just sucks

And this was a very fun year where I drew a LOT and a lot of varied things but do not be fooled I still only drew Lucien ever

[pathofregeneration]

Artist's illustration of a supermassive black hole at the center of a galaxy (NASA / JPL-Caltech)

* * *

The Kosmos, part III

“The Auric Envelope which contains the Kosmos within its shell, is exactly similar to an atom, which contains within its glowing outer covering a central sun, around which whirl a number of minute planets called electrons. Both Auric Envelope and atom are ovoid, or egg-shaped in form. For this reason the Kosmos is often referred to as the Auric Egg.

As the huge planets of the Kosmic System within the Auric Envelope are each ruled by a Planetary Logos—God’s own Viceroys—so are the minute planets within the atom also ruled by planetary Lords.

Understand well that the terms ‘huge’ and ‘minute’ are only concepts of the mortal mind and have an entirely different meaning to God; just as Time and Space cannot be properly understood by the finite understanding of the human ego.

The first requisite in the building of a Kosmos, therefore, is the creation of the Auric Envelope. This is a material projection from God’s spiritual mind; an image, a thought-form; obtaining material shape and substance by means of God’s Will, which dwells in the Divine Light, from the radiance of which—it being in perpetual motion—comes the Breath, whence emanates the primordial Light in which is manifested Eternal Thought concealed in darkness; and this becomes the WORD of Creation. From this Word, or Mantram, not only the Auric Envelope, but the whole Kosmos comes into manifestation. For within the Envelope the Concealed Logos radiates a Ray which fructifies the germs of Sun and Planets in formation; and the Essence of this Ray expands, giving birth to Planetary Logoi, from whose Minds all things are born.

Before the Planets are made there is Chaos; all the Essences of the future material worlds being in a state of flux; unformed. These are the ‘Waters over which brooded the Spirit of God,’ and all is darkness, needing the Breath of God to become Light. As the Auric Shell is lit up by that Light, the Word rings forth and comes into manifestation by the act of generation or production. What seems chaos to the human intellect is the eternal Root of Spiritual Wisdom. In this—the Waters of Life—are created, or re-awakened the primordial germs by means of the primordial Light. Thus, the Divine Spirit moves on the Waters of Space within the Auric Envelope and fructifies and infuses the Breath of Life into that germ, which becomes the centre in which the male planetary Logos is created; and from this the first Lord of Beings emerges and becomes the progenitor of mankind.”

— Jean Michaud, The Golden Star