#this is a shitty amatonormative trope! bad!

[altschmerzes]

“i love you too much to let you continue to be so tragically depressingly…” “some might say embarrassingly” “single” ah yes the running theme i hate, the ‘let’s badger buck in every scene he’s in about why he’s not dating who he should be dating and when he’s going to start dating’ theme

[arodabi]

okay, i’m finally getting around to writing this, and uhh ill say its for aro week too. this is written as an aro person directed at alloromantic people. when i refer to writing, i’m kind of using it as a general term for creative works. Here’s me throwing my hat in on the question:

Can you ship aromantic characters?

and my answer is,,,,, actually a question. Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? 

I want alloros to realize that for a lot of aros, we do not get to see ourselves represented often. I can actually count on like one hand how many popular canon aro characters there are, and on the whole, none of their identities are respected. people constantly try to weasel their way out of actually writing aro characters, or they just ignore or deny their identity outright. fandom spaces (hell creative spaces in general) are at best not welcoming to aros, and at worst actively hostile towards us. So when the first question brought up when a character gets canonically confirmed as aro is “okay cool but can i ship them???” or “that’s nice but how can i still write about my fave ship that involves them??” i want to fucking scream. its a slap to the face and it shows that people really do not give a shit about aros. you say stuff like that and all i hear is “my fictional ship is so much more important than representing your marginalized minority identity” so instead of me just sitting here and saying “yes you can totally ship aro characters, as long as you’re respectful!!!” i’m saying “can you stop and think why you want to shove an aro character into a romantic relationship at the first chance you get?? maybe you have some arophobia you haven’t worked on?? maybe since we live in an amatonormative world, you’re letting that influence your views??” because that question being the first thing out of your mouth when you see a character you like confirmed as aro? that’s already disrespectful towards aros in my book.

So back to my question, Why do you want to ship aromantic characters? is it because you can’t write characters without them being in romantic relationships? or because you think a character without a romantic relationship is boring? Because if so, that’s a bad reason and it sounds like amatonormativity is rotting your brain. 

Is it because you just really like a ship with the aro character? Because you can write two characters with a strong relationship without writing them as a couple. A strong friendship can hold just as much power as a romantic relationship.

Is it because fuck aros, i will write what I wanna write and I don't wanna write this character with their canon identity? because then you’re just an arophobic asshole that needs to work on your shitty opinions. aro representation is just as important as any other lgbtqia+ representation.

Now if you’re reading this and thinking “well i heard aros can be in queerplatonic relationships!” I want you to think for a second. Are you writing a qpr or are you writing a romantic relationship with the serial numbers filed off? Have you talked to aro people or read stuff actually written by us? because, yes, some qprs can look a lot like a romantic relationship from the outside, but that’s just it, you’re looking at it from the outside. qprs are more than just “romantic relationship with extra steps”, and i think it’s really telling how many times i see alloromantic people saying they’re depicting an aro character in a qpr, not a romantic relationship, but then they never ever make any effort to distinguish the qpr from any other romantic relationship they write or draw. It just feels like qprs are getting used by alloros as a gatcha any time an aro person objects to how they depict (or don’t depict) aromanticism. if you want to write a character in a qpr then go for it! but you need to actually do research, talk to aros, get multiple opinions and not just take the first opinion that agrees with you and run with it.

“But what about headcanoning a character as arospec?” now i will say before i go into this, i am aro, not arospec, so if an arospec person wants to come in and correct me at any part here im happy to listen. but my problem when alloros bring up arospec identities is a very similar problem to how qprs are often depicted. I remember when Peridot Stevenuniverse got confirmed aro (she did, do not argue this with me) people were jumping over themselves to assure everyone that “a character getting confirmed as aro just means they are any arospec identity” which,, uhh,, not true? i mean if an arospec person wants to see a canon aro character as, say, aroflux, i’ve got no problem, aro and arospec people can do what they want really. but, i do have a problem with all the alloro fans who were spreading this. because, do you really see the character as demiromantic? or are you using that identity to deflect criticism from erasing aro identities? are you actually trying to write a good depiction of a demiro person? or are you just writing normal ship stuff and slapping a “uwu ive never felt romantic attraction until i met you! and now i will act exactly like any alloromantic person!” at the beginning? being in fandom spaces, i do see the occasional fic actually depicting an aspec identity (i say aspec her because aro is so rare that most of these examples i’ve seen have been acespec identities rather than arospec) but like 99% of the time, that’s written by someone who actually shares the identity. before you use our terms and identities to cover your ass when you erase us, consider not fucking doing that. consider listening to all aros and getting our thoughts and input. 

And last here is “but what about romance positive aros?” now i think most of what i’ve said previously can be applied here. the only thing i wanna add is, i think its very interesting that almost every time i see non aros depict aros, they always write them as very into romance, very open to be in romantic relationships, and very quiet about their aro identity. despite the character in canon not showing any of these traits. romance positive aros are good and important, but not every aro is romance positive. there’s quite a few of us that are romance repulsed, and alloros only depicting aros as super romance positive no matter what is suspicious to say the least. if an aro character is shown to be open to participating in romantic activities in canon then of course write them that way. but if an aro character is shown to be uninterested in, or even actively against romantic activities then respect that too.

so, to wrap up my thoughts in this ramble: please ask yourself why you want to ship aro characters so bad, because if the only reason is that amatonormativity has brainwashed you into not being able to write, or draw, or do anything with a character without them being in a romantic relationship, then you uhhh need to work on that, that’s honestly a writing/creative flaw imo. if you like the relationship dynamic between an aro character and another character, consider making them friends. friendship is not less powerful than romantic relationships. nobody is ever too old for the power of friendship trope. If you’re erasing an aro character’s identity because fuck aros, then fuck off somewhere far away from me and work on your bullshit. qprs, arospec identities, and romance positive aros are all very real, very important parts of the aro community, but please talk to other aros about them and actually make an effort to understand how these things work, dont just assume. And also don’t use these things as a way to erase aro identities and cover your ass if get called out. its disrespectful towards all aros.

The most important thing to do before writing or creating work with aro characters is to talk to aros, and not just the aros that agree with you. look up what a qpr actually is, learn how aros experience their arospec identities, talk to aros with multiple outlooks on romance. and if you can’t bring yourself to reach out, at least read through our own writings, whether that’s fiction, or informational posts, fuck, look through our memes if u wanna. Just please actually make an effort.

So, Can you ship aro characters? its complicated. look at trends in your fandom, question why you want to, and do research. Be an aro ally, listen to us. That’s really the most important thing.

[42-clocks]

miscellaneous stranger things thoughts

(basically just me live tweeting)

(I’m gonna try to put in a page break)

— dr. owens is such a solid dude and so much better than dr. brenner and the narrative barely gives him any credit. and the narrative doesn’t criticize Brenner nearly enough

— natalia dyer is a super good actor

— lumax is very cute, we also need more Lucas regardless

— I also love Antov

— I don’t like a lot of the narrative choices so far but the editing is very well done

— my least favorite straight pairing trope is when the couple breaks up and then multiple seasons later, instead of moving on, one or both “still likes the other” for no conceivable reason —characterization wise or narratively wise — purely bc of the writers’ heteronormativity and amatonormativity /g

— the Russia team’s narrative is the only one that doesn’t make zero sense so that’s a relief

— “my life started the day I met you” did it really Mike ??? really ???? THAT’S how you wanna say you care about her ???

— that whole speech,,, like— the whole premise of this season is basically “it takes a team!” but they didn’t have Will or Jonathan talk to her at all —her own brothers (yet they felt the need to keep Will in frame ??) I liked having a speech in premise but the way they wrote it was bad

— Ah yes, Mike idolizing El definitely isn’t shitty at all and is totally healthy 🙂 ! /s

— I don’t really think the writers knew the gravity of a white jock teenage boy nearly killing a young Black boy,,,,, (I’m white btw, it still just left me like 😬)

— idk if this was a writing problem or an editing one but having the bats attack Eddie seemingly right before they fall makes Eddie getting killed (while the rest of the fruity four don’t even get hurt) feel petty and pointless

— hopper with the dnd-ass sword was cool

— this sound engineer/editor is very good at their job

— I didn’t see Robin/Nancy much before but now I do 💅

— the whole “running away” thing is so shitty and genuinely harmful

— don’t you love how only the alt kids got hurt *deep inhale*

— Vicky is cute but she seems just like Robin ?? (idk if this is a flaw in writing until I know more abt her tho just seems on the nose)

— Steve is such a good mom

— the acting of Dustin and Mr. Munson was really well done

— I do wish we saw more mourning of Eddie

— The way they used Eddie’s character was pretty bad

— why are they throwing Nancy/Jonathan down the drain with this Steve stuff when they were built up so well ?

— I get having Will still be connected to One but that’s literally all they’re using him for now. wtf

— El and Hopper !!!!!!!! <33333

— CANT THEY SHOW WILL BEING HAPPY

ok, final thoughts:

I thought vol. 1 was incredibly well done and probably my favorite season off the bat (despite a few things like Nancy/Steve being shoved in, etc) but vol. 2…. I think many things were well done but I mostly had problems with characterization issues and how they balanced the narrative on the characters. overall pretty disappointing and completely non deserving of all the build up :(

[just-antithings]

As another aro person, yeah I'll admit Hanahaki is usually very amatonormative

BUT, it's not inherently bad because of that and in fact I love it when it's not amatonormative. And unlike, say, soulmates which is so heavily seeped in amatonormativity that it's hard to separate it from that, Hanahaki is so niche it's not nearly as saturated in amatonormativity and still has room to be separate from that

tbh soulmates can be separated from amatonormativity if people are just willing to put in the work instead of just whining about it, I’ve seen plenty of soulmates tropes that included both platonic and romantic love as types of love between soulmates and it’s lovely. that’s why I think that the approach that the aro community takes to tropes like soulmates and hanahaki are shitty. instead of just entirely shutting down those tropes as automatically bad, you can do the work to make them work for everyone. same with demanding that people write gen instead of romance. if you want gen fic, create your own. shaming people to write less romance and more gen has literally never worked and never will

[ao3-saiki-updates]

White Ring & Black Ring Salute You

White Ring & Black Ring Salute You by deadcereus

The world is determined to drag both of Saiki's identities—Kusuo and Kuriko—into romance clichés. Not on his watch! He'll matchmake his way out of this mess, accidentally acquiring more people who calls themselves his friends.

How annoying, but not necessarily... bad. If he can't have a peaceful life, at least there's coffee jelly.

(Satou Hiroshi is overwhelmingly ordinary. So why is his world suddenly dictated by arbitrary rules like... a really shitty harem anime?)

Sequel to My Middle Fingers Salute You. Title refers to a white ring on left middle finger (aro) & black ring on right middle finger (ace).

Words: 1231, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Saiki is Cupid's Aro

Fandoms: 斉木楠雄のΨ難 | Saiki Kusuo no Sai-nan | The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Saiki Kusuo, Saiki Kurumi, Saiki Kusuke, Akechi Touma, Background & Cameo Characters

Relationships: Satou Hiroshi/Suzumiya Hii, Rifuta Imu/Teruhashi Kokomi/Yumehara Chiyo/Aiura Mikoto, Nendou Riki/Mikami Aiko, Kaidou Shun/Kuboyasu Aren

Additional Tags: Aromantic Asexual Saiki Kusuo, Gender-apathetic Saiki Kusuo, Matchmaking, Dessert & Sweets, Ghosts, Polyamory, dodging romance tropes as an artform, Toritsuka Reita Gets Therapy, I love Akechi so he appears later, Saiki beats up amatonormativity: a fic

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35319112