#this is a problem on the american left and has been for awhile

[sidewalk-scrawls]

Honestly I think a lot of political fracturing in the US comes down to an absolute refusal to listen to other perspectives. It's uncomfortable to process information that challenges your world view, and the knee-jerk reaction is to reject the information causing that discomfort! But discomfort isn't actually a good reason not to listen.

Listening isn't endorsement. Understanding people's motivations isn't endorsement. And both of those things are *crucial* for understanding the complex systems that make up the world.

[coimbrabertone]

The End of an Era - Philip Morris Has Left Ferrari

I was considering writing about the Daytona 500 and the state of superspeedway racing, but quite frankly, I didn't want to go on a super negative rant saying a thousand things that have already been said about NASCAR plate tracks.

Fortunately for me, something else happened.

The Decalspotters twitter account noticed that Philip Morris International is no longer listed on the bottom of the page sponsors on the Ferrari website. Using the wayback machine, I was able to confirm that the Philip Morris International logo was still there in November 2024, so they were removed specifically for the 2025 season.

Now, Philip Morris hasn't been on the cars in awhile. Their last attempt, on and off from late 2018 until 2022, was with Mission Winnow, a brand seemingly created for the sole purpose of subliminal advertising.

By 2023 they seemed to have abandoned this plan and the logo on the website changed from Mission Winnow to Philip Morris International, which is how it was all the way up until the end of the 2024 season.

Nobody has run with the story quite yet, but it appears that Philip Morris has finally left Ferrari.

You can still access the Philip Morris page on Ferrari.com if you search for it specifically, but the same thing applies to Santander, and we know they're gone. Ferrari has even signed UniCredit as a replacement bank sponsor.

This is huge, as Philip Morris has been in F1 in some form since 1972 and has been with Ferrari in some form since 1973 when they became a driver sponsor. 1973 to 2024 is perhaps the longest sports sponsorship ever, and even if you don't want to count the driver deals, they've been a team sponsor of Ferrari since 1984, which is still a forty year run.

So is this the end of tobacco sponsorship in F1?

Not really.

McLaren has a partnership with British American Tobacco (the same company that owned BAR and also acquired Rothmans International in 1999, which had sponsored Williams with its Rothmans and Winfield brands). BAT dodges restrictions in a number of ways, with the A Better Tomorrow subliminal advertising brands, as well as Vuse vapes and Velo nicotine pouches.

Vapes, all the health risks of cigarettes with none of the coolness.

I say that flippantly, smoking isn't cool: it stinks, and it kills you.

Tobacco liveries did, however, have a great aesthetic to them. I wish the likes of Marlboro, Player's, KOOL, Benson & Hedges, and all the rest would make like teddy bears or koala heart transplants or something because they made a lot of pretty race cars and their money funded a great deal of racing teams.

Though the problem there is that the very reason why tobacco got so big in motorsports is because they weren't allowed to sponsor anywhere else. Marlboro poured millions into Ferrari, Penske, and Ducati because those were the only places where they could still show their logos.

The most iconic racing sponsors only became iconic because their products were so deadly they couldn't advertise anywhere else.

In fact, a small part of the reason why NASCAR got so big is probably because tobacco liveries weren't that big in NASCAR. The series had a title sponsorship with Winston, and because of the Viceroy Rule - something I've discussed previously on this blog and itself a product of tobacco sponsorship - none of the other cigarette companies could touch NASCAR teams.

So instead of the best drivers being sponsored by Marlboro or Camel or West, they were sponsored by DuPont, Kellogg's, and Home Depot.

Brands that you could market to anyone, even kids.

Thus, the kids of the 90s and 2000s grew up with NASCAR diecasts and wearing M&Ms jackets instead of repping tobacco-laden F1 or CART merch.

There's a lot more to NASCAR's rise than that, but it likely has something to do with why, when the average American thinks about racing, all they know is NASCAR.

And when the entire field decides to wreck repeatedly so that the guy who starts the final lap in ninth manages to stumble into the win, that ubiquitousness of NASCAR makes all of racing look bad.

Positive though, stay positive...

How about a quick rundown on Marlboro in F1?

Well, the story begins in 1972, with Marlboro signing on to sponsor the BRM team. BRM was British, as the name British Racing Motors may suggest, but like their name also suggests, they made their own engines. BRM weren't a garagista team running the Cosworth DFV (Cozzeh!), instead, they were running their own 3.0L V12.

It was in one of these 3.0L V12 BRMs that Peter Gethin drove the car out of a giant Marlboro pack to unveil the car. The Marlboro era had begun.

They won their first race that year with Frenchman Jean-Pierre Beltoise winning in Monaco.

That was their only major success that year, as that win, paired with a 4th in Germany, and then 6th in both Austria and Germany was only good enough for 7th in the standings.

1973 was even worse, as despite running a stacked lineup of Beltoise, Clay Regazzoni, and Niki Lauda, they were still in seventh. In fact, their points total slipped from 14 to 12, and they didn't even have the saving grace of a win or a podium.

Thus, Marlboro went to McLaren for 1974, while Lauda and Regazzoni went to Ferrari, where they'd wear Marlboro patches as well.

The Marlboro McLaren partnership was obviously successful, with Emerson Fittipaldi winning the title in 1974, James Hunt in 1976, Niki Lauda in 1984, Alain Prost in 1985, 1986, and 1989, and Ayrton Senna in 1988, 1990, and 1991.

The success continued when Marlboro went to Ferrari, where Marlboro progressed from mere sponsor in 1984 to main sponsor by 1993, and finally becoming title sponsor from 1997, after the McLaren deal had ended.

Ferrari won the constructors' championship in 1999, followed by Michael Schumacher winning the drivers' championship in 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, and 2004. Kimi Raikkonen would add a title to the list in 2007, Ferrari's last championship to date.

The team was still officially Scuderia Ferrari Marlboro all the way up until the 2011 British Grand Prix. After that, Philip Morris' sponsorship became more subtle, first with the new-for-2011 Scuderia Ferrari logo that many accused of mimicking the Marlboro logo - and it didn't help that it took the engine cover placement that Marlboro's bar code filled until the 2010 Spanish Grand Prix - along with a similar rebrand from Ducati Corse in MotoGP.

That part is all pretty well-known, but what some people may not know if how widespread Marlboro sponsorship really was.

Back in 1973 and 1974, while Marlboro was sponsorship the BRM and McLaren teams, they also supported the original Frank Williams Racing Cars team, with the cars initially known as Iso-Marlboros.

Not too long after, Marlboro would sponsor the Alfa Romeo team from 1980 to 1983, during their McLaren years.

Then from 1988 to 1992, Marlboro would sponsor the BMS Scuderia Italia team, an Italian backmarker that is best known for becoming a Ferrari B-team in 1992 and 1993, the first of those years being with Marlboro, the latter year with Chesterfield as sponsor.

Merzario, Team Rebaque, Fittipaldi, Spirit, Rial, EuroBrun, Onyx, Arrows, Minardi, and Forti would all also carry minor Marlboro sponsorship at one point or another.

That's just the team deals, if I tried to list out all the drivers that Marlboro sponsored...we'd be here all day. Plenty of drivers would have Marlboro on their helmet or overalls with driving for a team with different sponsors.

One such case was Michele Alboreto, who was at Tyrrell in 1989 and had Marlboro paying his salary at the unsponsored team...until Ken Tyrrell secured Camel as a sponsor. Alboreto refused to break off his deal with Marlboro, so Tyrrell had to fire him and replace him with a young up-and-comer named Jean Alesi.

Michele Alboreto then lost his Marlboro sponsorship because he didn't have a ride anymore.

Two races later, Micheel Alboreto found a ride at Larrousse...which was also sponsored by Camel. Meaning Alboreto was wearing Camel stickers on his helmet and overalls anyway.

A very pointless episode, but one that kicked off the career of Jean Alesi.

Jean Alesi who would then race for the Marlboro-sponsored Ferrari from 1991 and 1995.

Tobacco money made everything go full circle.

[seat-safety-switch]

For a couple years, I worked in a video store in a small town. In many ways, this was the culmination of a childhood dream: routine, unchallenging labour. If you were a particularly annoying labour analyst, all I actually ever “did” was ring up rentals, restock returns in the morning, and clean the windows. Customer service has its own way of filling the space left by the actual work, though.

People who have worked retail are a sort of elite corps. For one thing, you’re never rude to another retail employee for the entire rest of your life. You’ve been in the trenches, too, and even if you somehow managed to escape, you’d still have had that shared trauma to know how bad that shift could get for that shelf-stocker at Maybe’s Drugs off I-40.

I have all the usual complaints, but there’s something else, too. My unique problem is this: I had this one customer who came in every Monday morning, asking for the same movie. We never had that movie, which is the crux of our conflict. He – and I can’t remember his name anymore, even if the electroshock therapy had been effective – never took “no” for an answer, and would come back the next week. He’d ask for the same thing, by title. No other details: no barcode, no publisher, no actors. Not even a description of the plot (he hadn’t seen it yet, obviously.) Now, this was before broadband internet was widely available, so I’d have to dial up after hours to America Online, and see if the movie had been added to their database. It never did, except one night I saw some folks talking about it in a video store chat room.

Their customers, too, were asking for this film. Insistently. After talking about it that night, we decided that we would form a bit of a trade union group. If any of us heard anything on this mysterious VHS, we would share the knowledge with the rest of the group. That retail-worker camaraderie at work again, you see. Nothing ever came of it, but I did end up becoming good friends with a manager at a Hobart’s Movies in Ames, Iowa, and we were even roommates for awhile before he got a new job at Seaworld. I moved on, too, making my slow, but inevitably in retrospect, drift towards the coast. Still, the whole thing bothered me. For years afterward, I would turn on my computer every Monday night, long after I had left the job, and search for any clue as to the existence of this film.

Once, on a day off, I called a librarian, who got pissy at me for even asking about it, and demanded to know who had put me up to calling her as a prank. I hung up in a panic, but she called back for hours. Obviously, she was also undergoing the same situation, and I felt shame at having brought a momentary pain to another proud Retail-American.

Now, video rental stores are a thing of the past. Even in small towns, they have been reduced to just a fond memory and an abandoned corner of a strip mall. Maybe my customer’s quest doesn’t matter anymore. The aggregation of the world’s knowledge into one hissing, unseen beast at the centre of our collective technological hallucination is complete. If they don’t have it, pick a different one. All I know is that, one day, someone will find a copy of this movie, and I’ll be able to go back to that town and shove it in the ground where the video store once stood. On that day, I can finally rest, freed from the slavedriver that is Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

Hey I was checking your blog and I was wondering if you were the people who asking what they teaching kids in schools about slavery

Well as someone who was part of the American education system. Let me tell you a little secret

Arab, Asian, and ESPECIALLY African slavers are intentionally left out of the education systems

Like remember the women king movie that lionized the Dahomey? Well fun fact for generations my community, the African American community, was told for generations that Africa was that garden of peace until the white devils came and ruined it. In fact I didn’t even know about the Dahomey until people was exposing the atrocities they did after the women king trailer dropped.

I had a near mental breakdown learning that black Americans basically did a equivalent of “Holocaust survivors romanticizing the Nazis” and I’m only 23 so you can just imagine the mental hell for older black Americans when they learn who really sent us to the Americas.

I just wanted to point that out because your British no and I often see non Americans wonder why we constantly make weird ass statements.

Like….black Americans was taught since they were in the fucking womb that slavery was only “white people enslaved black people”

Sorry for this heavy topic, just saying you guys are in a doozy with Americans for awhile

It's true, America is incredibly insular in some ways - perhaps because it is so big - and as a result it sometimes projects its own problems and skewed perceptions onto the rest of the world. And, because it has been the world empire this past century, the rest of the world often falls in line with those views too.

But slavery has always been with us: every race has bought and sold every other race, and Africans were buying, selling, trading and enslaving other Africans for thousands of years before any white-skinned devils bearing gunpowder turned up on their shores.

You'd think that basic and inarguable truth would be the first thing schools would teach impressionable children about this matter, but today they're much more intent on making them want to destroy western civilization for no reason.

[disregardcanon]

thinking about a npmd characters yellowjackets au and oh boy it's fun

okay so the premise is, the hatchetfield high school nighthawk football team is going to nationals. i'm pretty sure that doesn't exist for american high school football but we're suspending disbelief.

solomon lauter is trying to build up goodwill with the community for this election cycle, so not only does he charter a private plane for the football team, he makes his daughter go with. HE doesn't have time to go to seattle and it's not like most people will see him there anyway, but if he puts his daughter on the plane with them and says oh look my daughter is so kind and supportive! she's taking time away from HER own schoolwork and HER own life to support our fighting nighthawks! what a kind and involved citizen she is!

and then of course he pressures her teachers to just. let her off the hook for activities in classes that week. because she's such a kiiinnnddd person who's supporting the football team.

richie, of course, is essential for an excursion such as this. he's zeke the fighting nighthawk! he's on that plane. ruth has some overlap with misty quigley that i find interesting, so we're making her the equipment manager. this is half to get her on the plane and half because i think she'd use that as an excuse to be a pervert. like oooohhh i'm so sorry! i didn't think there would be boys CHANGING in here right now! myyyy mistake.

max and the football team and brenda and the cheer squad are all there. now however do we get our dearest spankoffski on that plane? (ruth says that she needs help with equipment management duties and pete's already the salutorian of the class... so she's able to sell him just missing this second to last week of school alright to the teachers. he doesn't really WANT to, but steph, who he's been bonding with since she got him to help her cheat and then actually helped her study... asks him to. because she says she's going to be bored out of her mind without someone to hang out with... and he's only HUMAN, okay?)

now how do we get grace temperance chastity on a plane full of horny teenagers for an activity that she doesn't do? why making her the president of the FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) of course! she is the self-assigned chaperone of such an important and potentially very horny and drug-ridden activity in such a den of sin (seattle). SHE is the only thing standing between the students of hatchetfield high and total anarchy. as valedictorian (peter, if you just applied yourself and maybe went to chuuurrrcchhh you might have beaten me! grace will you just shut up-) she is not worried about her grades in this penultimate week of school. oh BOY was she wrong.

they of course crash in the canadian rockies. the coaches die, and we're left with absolute fucking anarchy. everyone save our favorite quintet listen to max for awhile as he dictates the ways that heeee, max jagerman, think things should be run. it's bad! it doesn't work! they're gonna fucking die!!!!!!!

jagerman is more worried about how to keep his power and where steph keeps disappearing to than figuring out how to stay alive in case of... not getting rescued.

ruth has GAD and is just freaking the fuck out in the corner, richie is doing the same, and pete is trying to figure out. how the fuck to survive in case of no rescue coming. steph's on team I Think We Should Prepare, Jesus Christ! and grace enjoys survival situations so she's over here. she also thinks that the act of god might be that they're stuck out here and have to build a new jerusalem (tehehe)

the combined powers of steph's charisma and kindness, pete's problem-solving, and grace's intensity and sureness in herself, they convince the rest of the group that they found a safer spot... a lake, where they might find water and food and not die here by the plane while waiting for a rescue that might not come.

the rest of the group listens, showing the first crack in max jagerman's power, and he has a very ugly blowup but eventually follows.

he IS going to die out there. he IS going to be the first to die out there. and they are going to eat him :) but it's also max jagerman who's in the narrative role of jackie. so he's gonna haunt this fucking narrative! OHHHHH YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

other tidbits: max deciding to for real pursue grace is mainly about trying to break her power base because he's pissed she's the one everyone's listening to now, but he also... does think that's hot. :3

grace IS going full girl-prophet. lottie tempered her girl-prophet ways in season 2 because she realized that things were going wrong... grace thinks she's god's anointed so she is not going to do that. not at all.

stephanie HAS got a gun. a hunting she will go. a hunting she will take pete. (we're out here starving in the woods and you think that pete and i shouldn't... sleep together? with fucking CONDOMS!?!?! what is your prOBLEM? he's a loser and you're COOL! we're not in fucking high school, max! grow! up!) they're getting some of that Narrative Conflict With The Superstitions that defines natalie's character.

ruth WOULD find the porno mags she WOULD show everyone and when grace tries to confiscate them for Jesus Reasons ruth would find one to squirrel away just for herself. i am also assigning ruth butcher because i think she could handle the guts, and also.. i'm sorry the idea of ruth throwing girls' nights with jagerman's corpse in the freezing cold meat shed just works in my brain.

i'm gonna give richie van's How Do We Make Sense of All These Times I Almost Died and this ABSOLUTE Bullshit!??!! plot line, along with assigning him group morale and Person Who Tells the Stories.

when it gets to the card pull grace WILL be rigging it to get rid of "dirty dudes". jason gets got first. and grace keeps giving lautski and ruth cryptic warnings about cleaning up their sexual act or else and they're just like hahaha i'm in danger...

somehow grace thinks that this is all compatible with her christianity! i love her <3

[the-zapped-part-timer]

Penn Zerothon Day 8

3 Big Problems🏝

My Ramblings: Dodge ball showdown! I don't think you're allowed to kick the balls but whatever, it's Sashi, she don't care! Boone just straight up sacrificing people for shields is so out of left field it's comes back to being funny. Penn is pretty big brain here but, wow, what a dirty move using some firefighter's bell and pretending it's the school bell! How do they have time for this? All for the promise of pizza!? Either way, Sashi's blank expression is beautiful. We've all felt that.

And then that was the tragic end of Penn Zero. What a fun little show, if only he didn't cheat. Joking aside, Phyllis was straight up gonna send his ass to the sun because she thought he had Pandorian Moon Warts... savage. Is it really that bad? I guess so. At least she apologized.

He's so excited to just be a lizard, honestly? So would I. Nice Geico reference.

Love the twist in this episode, you'd think Rippen and Larry would be the kaiju, because in most media, kaiju are depicted as city-destroying, rage-fueled monsters but the other side of that spectrum, they can be good! Take Godzilla for instance, can either be a nuclear bomb or a protector of humanity. It would've also been easy to make the Duo evil monsters and have an awesome kaiju battle... damn, that actually does sound cool. Anyways, they make them human bad guys, not too dissimilar to The Iron Giant.

Like the detail of Sashi's mission display being humongous, just like them. And the detail of when Penn talks, small flames spew from his mouth.

KAIJU WILHELM!

How did Boone know he could toot his horn? Bringing back a classic Larry gag but with a simple twist to it, it's short.

The eyebrow checking joke between Ripoen and Madame President, like so many, have been ingrained into my mind forever. It's so dumb but good. During Rippen's spiel, Larry is so serious looking and laser focused, I love him.

TNT Museum... very American thing. But this isn't America, it's Island City, baby! Penn talking down to the humans for the city planning is so hilarious, makes him sound like he was never a human before. Love the delivery.

Have I mentioned my uneasiness for disaster movies? I just hate how that could just happen and I'd be screwed. Even if it's as farfetched as Kaiju or very unnatural disasters, it wigs me out. I hate thinking about what I'd do in that situation. Especially two movies that terrified me... one of them is dumb but the other... I hate thinking about so much, makes my stomach twang in anxiety a bit.

Why doesn't Sashi speak for Penn? I thought because he's an ape and there go, he can speak to humans? But no, Penn can talk to them, but you, fire. So why not Sashi?

I'd be on Rippen's side if I didn't know anything at all. I think the President is crazy, which she's a little... quirky. Just saying, way too much trust! Why hasn't she gone and talked to the Kaiju before hand if she likes them that much? The island was there before and it takes awhile to build a city on an island I'm sure.

And here's these two, Eva (President) and Larry... man said, like, two sentences and is already smitten, and drawing Larry all muscular as he carries her in his big, strong arms... Ma'am! It's a good quick doodle, I'll give her that but MA'AM!? Thank you, Rippen for taking her pen away. When she calls him handsome and rugged, he does take the compliment to Rippen slight surprise (and possible jealousy? Who knows with that guy). I do like her, by the way! She's hilarious in her deliveries and mania behind half of them.

Her logic makes sense, you want an easy code to the Monster Buster Bomb (tm) but also you want a more secure code to the Monster Buster Bomb (tm), just as secure as Rippen's diary. Which of course he has, I want to read it. I need to read it! Hey! Do give each other that look, men can have diaries too!

The "tell my best friend I love him" scene is so cute, Boone's even holding Penn's claw hand! ARGH! Sashi just cutting that shit out! Snap out of it, stupids, we're playing dodge ball with bombs!

WHY WOULD YOU BUILD YOUR CITY NEXT TO A VOLCANO!? MY FEARS! Rippen, you're a hopeless coward! I'm sure he's fine with that.

And see that? The instant Eva and Larry are alone and she offers a final dinner together, he nopes right out of there! Man is not interested at the least. Which says a lot, we know Larry, he's down for a lot of things but not this. I'm sure another reason is that he wanted to follow Rippen but still stands, we saw his face.

Hey, Boone gets called a genius way sooner. Good for him.

Iconic line from Madame President: "Bologna." Huh, the "G" is silent. That can't be my last thought!

"Let's focus on the positive!" Girl, the power grid, sewer system, and literally everything else needs to be addressed ASAP!

~The Characters~

Penn Zero:

Boone Wiseman:

Sashi Kobayashi:

Rippen:

Larry:

Dimension(s): Love me some giant monsters!

Forms: We have Godzilla, King Kong, and Mothra or Battra (I don't know for sure). All very fun and fitting forms. I like Penn's the most but Sashi's is really cute and Boone being a ape is the perfect match.

Rippen and Larry, while plain, look very good in those uniforms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cereal Criminals🥣

My Ramblings: ART CLASS, FINALLY! Now we finally see Rippen as an art teacher, 8 episodes in! Starting it off with good Rippen and Penn banter. Also see that Larry is the principal! I'm sure Rippen just loves the thought of Larry being the boss of him everyday at school. And we see Pigoilet, Boone's favorite creation ever. I believe we did see in an early episode but I don't remember which, besides the Pilot. Sashi's are looks really nice! Looks like she may have used painters tape or something like that to get that all nice and straight, makes sense.

Is this the first time a teacher evaluation is used? Or is it the first time that the reward is Larry's parking spot? Probably the ladder.

What hell is must be to half to deal with that in the morning, water sprinkler row. When Boone says: "It appears that the glove is on the other shoe." Rippen is listening and watching Boone's hand so intently, it's funny. He looks like a cat.

Damn Penn, already planning to obliterate Rippen's teacher evaluation. Stone cold. I get it, he's evil and gives you nothing but F-'s. Still stone cold.

The jingles, I love them! Those being physically there, especially when Boone can read the kale flakes in water bit is icing on this cereal cake!

Love that they just assume Rippen is the Milkman, it makes sense. The Milkman himself? Boy, if I had a nickel for every milkman character I like, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. I love unsettling Milkmen! Can you guess the other one? I love how he talks, his design and his ads!

I'd struggle to if I had to say "crispity crunch crop" fast and with a silly voice too.

There's just a guy guarding the outside of Marshmallow Dreams Maximum Security Prison (great name)! Like just a human guy, I know there are human mascots and characters but it's... weird.

Did somebody say, WILHELM SCREAM!? And order a Silence of the Lambs homage?

"Do you like our place?" Larry says in the most adorable way followed with the cutest pose! Your honor, I love him to bits! "You've been here five minutes!" "I take our home seriously." Married couple core Rippen and Larry.

Larry seems kind of embarrassed and guilty-looking about the reason Otis the Opossum ended up in prison. His big wet eyes, poor little guy.

THE BEST SONG EVER! It's literally my ringtone! I sang that constantly, it's so catchy! Do all yourselves a favor and go listen to it again!

Teacher evaluation? Good for leverage. Rippen's little ear perks as Penn pushes all the right buttons, so cute! I wanna pet him!

Here we get Rippen's villain spiel: He's driven by his need to outdo his sister, Vlurgen. This man has some family issues, of course he does. His mama and papa always favored her more, which sadly, we do see later. She has everything he wants, a really evil car, a different magical scepter for everyday of the week, and competent evil henchmen. I like he says "no offense" to Larry, he's growing. Penn is stuck with the knowledge of Rippen's family woes. Just on and on with this guy, it's like he's stalling for time or something...

He is! 3 o'clock hits and they can't stop the Milkman, so Rippen wins, he's finally a full-time villain! HOORAY! Wait, I mean... boo? I mean SIKE! Big Brain Penn Time! He had Sashi set the prison clock back an hour during the pest song number. Everybody clap for them!

Question: How did Larry have that trap ceiling for balloons, cake and the full-time villain hat? Who cares! Also interesting Rippen calls his whole spiel a "blabberfest" like he was making it up or playing it down, but no, all stand very true. He's so downtrodden by this trick.

"I'm going on a milk run." Hard line delivery.

One of the few times that kale saves the day.

Milkman is so OP, it's ridiculous. But he's defeated in the most cursed way imaginable, get slurped into Penn's trunk... eck. Now that looks like, well, certain artwork.

Well, Rippen got a plow of an L, but thankfully an elephant never forgets. Why did he say "generosity" like that with his entire face? Because I wanna emulate that.

~The Characters~

I absolutely love how Rippen's whole spiel was tied in the ending: He told us his woes of no one in his family really appreciating his hard work, leaving him to feel inadequate and underappreciated. Yet, in the end, even after betraying Penn, the kid still put in a good word for his teacher with a glowing evaluation! Even if it isn't genuine, it still makes him feel like he actually earned something, like he finally won. That smile at the end. It's heartwarming! :)

Penn Zero: He's very smart in this episode. He uses Rippen's desire for the teacher evaluation to get him to talk, and when he correctly assumes that Rippen's need to win, he has the time set back just in case. Even though he did betray them, Penn keeps to his word and gives him a good evaluation, even though he wanted to obliterate him.

Boone Wiseman: No one knowing or liking him as Be Well Beaver is realistic. I like that he's has a slightly out of touch design and lingo us a nice touch, people who want to sell healthy stuff don't exactly know how.

Sashi Kobayashi: She has a gun and I'm sad she didn't get to use it more.

Rippen: We get to learn a lot more about him this episode. His deep-seated rage against his sister and the desire for his parent's attention. Sadly, we don't really get to see any more of this until the "Mr. Rippen" episode. Besides that, he is just as hilarious and devious as ever. Even when he's makes a deal to get a good teacher evaluation, he still backstabs them for the chance of being a full-time villain. He's lucky Penn felt nice that day.

Larry: He's so damn adorable, I couldn't take my eyes off him! He's just trying to make the prison cell look nice.

Dimension(s): Love this world, so fun and creative! It's also very interesting that the mascots are all real in their dimension, just here the mascots are real people. Must be mind-boggling. It's like seeing or reading about an actor and thinking: "Oh yeah, so-and-so from that show I know." But with cereal. Basically being zapped a semi-celebrities in a way.

Forms: Such fun and tasty designs! From chocolate elephant, fruity flamingo and healthy beaver cereals, I'm obsessed with all of them! Each have their own fun strengths, Penn and his trunk, Boone and his beaver skills, and Sashi with her gun! AND THE CUTE LITTLE JINGLES!? I CAN'T!

There's a brand of cereal I see sometimes that's chocolate and has an elephant on it and everytime I'm like: CHOCO CHOCO TRUNKS!? But alas, they aren't.

Wolverine Rippen and Opossum Larry? Adorable. Especially Larry, me and my bestie love Otis! They even quote him from the later episode! And the name Wrong Way Wally goes hard.

[otakween]

0-Man - Volume 3

I can't really tell what's going on on this cover. Is Ricky shirtless and if so, does that mean he has a stripe on his back? (I guess that could just be his shirt). Also...he still has his tail? Did they do that to avoid spoiling things?

Ch. 26

Okay wtf I don't remember Ricky's spear being THAT OP. It's like absurdly OP all of the sudden. Stops dozens of bullets instantly, melts metal, propels the gang out of any dangerous situation. That really messes with the stakes.

I was very confused by the space of this chapter. The characters kinda seemed to teleport from scene to scene without a smooth transition/explanation.

The creative use of speech bubbles was on point again. At one point the bad dude (Lamp? Ranpu?) starts shooting his gun out of rage and instead of words his speech bubble just has bullet holes.

I spotted the little Tezuka cameo. Super cute. He's like Where's Waldo lol

Ch. 27

Dang, it feels like we're entering a new arc rn. Lamp died (presumably). The humans blasted off into space (except for professor Royal) and the 0 men stayed behind on Earth. The humans are trying to find a livable planet and the remnants are planning on fighting the 0 men, turning off the ice machine, and saving the Earth. There are only 18 chapters left and honestly that plot line could take up all of that. Let's see where this goes...

Why'd I feel kinda bad for Lamp when he was dying? It doesn't matter how evil a character is, if they get all desperate and plead for their lives I still kinda feel a lil bit of pity every time.

Ch. 28

So Ricky does end up getting a prosthetic tail (as I accidentally predicted in a previous post). Kinda just feels as if he didn't lose his tail at all now, but it looks cute, so I'm okay with it.

I have no idea what to call Ricky's female 0 man friend. Her name in katakana is リーズ (obviously a play on the Japanese word for squirrel) which my brain is interpreting as "Liz" but it could also be "Lise" I guess? Either way, she's really cute :)

I had no idea what was going on for half this chapter. I understand that Professor Royal is trying (and failing) to negotiate with the 0 men but why is there suddenly an "Earth army?" (Complete with a Native American soldier named Geronimo). I totally thought everyone evacuated but the 0 men and Professor Royal, but I guess not.

Ch. 29

Not much to say about this one. Liz's plan to use a clone of her dad to end the war flops but the main gang's plan to use Liz as a hostage to get negotiations going seemingly works.

Ch. 30

Another action packed chapter! I've been reading the 1960s Iron Man comics and I guess the vibe of that era was just to make every chapter/issue contain an entire movie plot basically. Every chapter has a huge conflict/fight that gets resolved by the end. Each one feels more like a self contained experience than a small part of a whole, slow burn story. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's a lot more tiring for me to read. Cyborg 009 was like this too.

Another thing about this manga being older is that the hero often uses violence as the answer lol. In this chapter Ricky solves his problems by threatening to shoot the bad guy in the butt. I guess since it's just a threat it's okay for kids?

Ch. 31

So the story gets split between characters once more. Plot A is Ricky being thrown into a pit for attacking the grand priest and being rescued by another pit prisoner Mormo (Molmo?) Mormo looks a little more feral than the other 0 men, probably due to living in a pit for awhile lol.

Plot B is the humans being attack by the 0 men in their rocket and crash landing to escape being killed by a device that causes humans to bump heads to death (one of the weirdest weapons to come out of this manga lol). Professor Royal is about to accept his death when he realizes the effects of the ice age seem to be going in reverse as the ice is melting rapidly. The fate of the humans other than professor Royal is left vague, so they're probably fine.

I kinda thought Mormo was Ricky's dad at first. He has darker fur than him but I thought maybe he was disguised or something. Cool to see another 0 man on the good guys' side.

Ch. 32

Meanwhile, while Ricky's in the pit. His dad saves Liz from being executed by the Grand Priest's men. Liz looked pretty badass when she thought she was going to die. She faced it with dignity.

Now that the ice machine has stopped will the humans in space turn around and come back? How will they know that it stopped? (Maybe you can just tell by looking at the planet lol Edit: yes, that's exactly what happens).

Ch. 33

I feel like 50 different things happened in this chapter including the introduction of more random 0 men characters who may or may not be important later. More importantly tho, Ricky reunites with his dad and Liz. (Only for her to run away like two seconds later. These characters just can't stay together!)

So apparently the Earth's temperature is just going back to normal naturally? How the heck does that work? Is the sun just more powerful than the 0 man ice machine? Also, is no one concerned that the temperature will go too far in the opposite direction (too hot)?

Suddenly there's an uprising in the 0 man country. Maybe the manga will end with Ricky becoming the new ruler lol

Ch. 34

Annnd yet again, Ricky is separated from the group. Every time! I'm getting sick of reunions at this point lol.

This chapter ended with Ricky on Mars which means that 0 men apparently have the ability to survive in outer space. What are they water bears!?

What ever happened to Ricky's spear? Is that just gone for good now?

Ch. 35

The humans land in Venus and find the "missing link" between squirrels and 0 men. In other words, squirrel people that are way more anthro lol. Apparently 0 men were originally from Venus and when they came to Earth they evolved to be more like humans. I guess this explains why Ricky can breath on Mars?

I'm glad they came to the conclusion that they probably shouldn't be colonists and take over Venus. Pretty progressive of them honestly.

;-; seriously? Ending the volume with Ricky dying of thirst on Mars? Brutal. Okay, he doesn't actually die, but he's struggling.

[lydiainlace]

[cis woman, she/her] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [LYDIA SAELI]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [AMBER MIDTHUNDER]. You must be the [TWENTY EIGHT] year old [SOCIAL WORKER]. Word is you’re [COMPASSIONATE] but can also be a bit [SENSITIVE] and your favorite song is [AMERICAN TEENAGER BY ETHEL CAIN]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [CRYSTAL COVE]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

— from small town south with big city dreams, Lydia knew she was destined for the bright lights, she just had to figure out how to get there. working hard in school, joining committees both in her high school and the community, she found herself taking part in teen advocacy groups and gaining traction on movements she was passionate about. she left high school with multiple volunteer spotlights and recommendations for multiple schools.

— pursued her bachelor's in social work at Fordham in NYC and then her MSW at NYU and worked as a case manager while she finished everything else. she enjoyed continuing to advocate for her community and provide a sounding board that had a bit of pull. still, she struggled to make ends meet in college and even with scholarships, she needed to find a better way to get through her undergrad. Lydia took on the alias Lola and started an OnlyFans account where she'd perform pole dance routines, take photos and eventually video. careful not to show her face the allure of her page became the unknown. before she knew it, she had more money than she knew what to do with after bills were paid.

— she put that funding towards community groups and charity, to her family's farm and stored some away to move once more to a different coast. NYC had been a fun adventure and she grew a lot both in her career(s) and as a a person, but she needed a change.

— moved to LA for the better weather and bc she was doing OF on the side, it gave her more collab opportunities. the community she was in was pretty tight knit, but even so it was clear to her it was pretty toxic. the industry is the industry and while she enjoyed the financial freedom she had, she knew it was time for her to start winding down. in LA she volunteered counseling and trauma services, worked with underserved communities, and supported shelters under her pseudonym.

— when she finished her supervisional hours, she was able to start working for a practice in LA, soon moving to AB when she decided the trauma of big cities was too much for her and the case load was overwhelming and she wanted balance. the toxicity of the sex work industry had finally gotten to her, and while she knew it was a larger problem and she had made a few good friends, it was time to bow out. besides, she wanted to start focusing on her career and being a pillar for other people without having a secret of her own hanging over her. she enjoys the time she gets to spend with people one on one and providing a safe space, when she got the opportunity to work with an individual counseling practice in AB, she jumped on it.

— upon settling into AB, she easily built up a caseload for individual counseling but also continues case management on a PRN basis since it's still something she enjoys; just wants less of. Still has her OF but it's very sporadic and she's bringing that chapter to a close as soon as she finishes paying off her condo, which she's very close to doing.

Fast Facts

— close with her mother but not so much her father. they never understood each other and it's something she's trying to reconcile. they do not know about her work in the sex work industry she started in or her work in the porn industry and she chooses to keep it that way.

— has a toy aussie named gus that is trained as a therapy dog

— pays her mortgage in cold hard cash

— an emo kid at heart, for awhile in her teen years she thought she was going to be a pop punk queen. while that has since faded, she still enjoys singing and blasting the good stuff

— a little melancholy, a little lovesick without a lover, but very well meaning

@aurorabayaesthetic

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

hello, black and white autistic thinking here LOL.

(Also I’m really bad at explaining lol, forgive me I have several learning difficulties and disabilities and putting my thoughts into text is incredibly difficult and hard.)

if that makes any difference, but I totally agree actually.

there’s just not enough research yet, just not enough.

which sucks because I want to read it, I want to expand my world view.

but I don’t know, I’ve talked to TONSSSSS of these kids. Read tons of stories from parents and teachers, hell I’ve seen some of the literacy rates.

they are a different breed, but again I can only know so much.

I don’t see anyone else trying though, even if I’m a bit myopic literally everyone else is focused on the school stuff.

And the literacy rate, and their education.

and I’m just focusing on this little bit, hell I’d say the loss of public spaces, the rapidly rising cost of living, people being overwhelmed and overworked so much they basically just only have the iPad to deal with their kid rn, the education systems implosion, the lack of social help, children’s protective services kinda not being on top of anything due to systemic problems (Tis the racism), societies treatment of kids/teens, the lack of medical and mental health support and services, the pressure to have kids even if you can’t take care of them, everyone panicking about the declining and stagnation of birth rates, climate change and the climate crisis, pollution and poisonings, god I can go on and on.

are the actual root causes, but eh. Everyone else has been saying it for like the last 10-20 years lol.

(Again I forget people haven’t been in the same spaces as me and seen the same things as me I’ll try to link the research and video essays of you want, it might take awhile I don’t keep track very well.)

if someone had to give the kid an iPad so they could not collapse and have a mental breakdown because they are so overwhelmed and overworked.

that’s understandable, hell half of these things are understandable situations.

I just don’t really expand on things, because everyone knows the surface level stuff and I keep forgetting that people haven’t known iPad kids personally nor WERE iPad kids their whole lives.

I don’t mean to be mean at all /srs /pos

it’s just, I literally was the person that everyone is talking about. My siblings were the person that we all think of when we say iPad kid.

and lemme tell you! Night and day, night and day how they are now.

I used to scream and cry, I used to sob and have breakdowns.

and like this is all coming out of a place of love, what I’m saying is I just have experience with iPad kids, because I was one, I have known many of them growing up, and I’ve talked to TONSSSSS!

but my parents and teachers and all that stuff. They didn’t give up on me, and guess what!!!

I got better, I became less of an iPad kid and more of a kid using an iPad.

like yeah it’s personal, that I don’t want these kids to suffer and be literally abandoned and left to rot education wise.

because like, the world is different now. And it was always going to happen I tell you, I just have had to talk to way too many kids about their problems and help them deal with life to think differently man.

literally 50+ just so many, literal deep conversations about their lives and how they feel and what they are going to do to make it better.

(And they did lol.)

so yeah, I’m not an educator because it’s not my passion but hell am I good at consoling children and teens!

so yeah, it’s weird, I am not everyone. I am not a scientist. I’m just talking about my anecdotes and surveys and stuff.

hell half of what we have right now is anecdotal, and I’m treating it with scrutiny and also belief.

like you go down this rabbit hole of internet trauma, internet addiction, internet culture, internet censorship, elsagate, child psychology, the corporatization of online and public spaces, youth liberation and all the mental illness stuff,

you kinda become me, again. American iPad kids are super explainable lol it’s the American school system. It has been not great and treating their teachers, and using them and treating them like absolute garbage and a lot of the standardised teaching stuff is just not great at actually teaching kids at doing things, some kids have undiagnosed learning disabilities/normal disabilities and chronic illnesses, and there’s a lot of other nuances.

ANOTHER REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD VIDEO ABOUT WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT <this is the link to the video, it won’t let me do another like the above for some reason

like, half the people talking about iPad kids have a very very US centric look on it. And other countries have like pretty chill and normal kids lol.

(Not that it isn’t important. its just there’s other factors in why these kids are iPad kids.)

like you can literally see it in the iPad kid discussion if you pay attention!

But again, it’s so many factors and I’m just sharing my anecdotal experiences with the neglect and severe trauma/abuse of some of these kids.

sorry if I’m a bit “angry” sounding I’m just depressed and going through like 8 different emotions and things and I’ve been crying all day so don’t take it too seriously I’m just miserable and it totally shows.

so I don’t be too mad at this response I’m just going through some shit and might be taking a slight bit out on you.

like, sometimes I forget people haven’t comforted and talked to these kids.

Like how??? It’s a right of passage internet wise!

like I would literally bring up receipts of people if you want, I can get interviews with the people I’ve talked to, I can do all that.

but I don’t think it matters to most people, I’ve been taking tons of notes, screenshots and watching videos, I’ve been working with and helping mentally ill teens/kids for like my whole life at this point, and I’ve seen the actual horrors.

it’s just I forget.

if you want I can show some of the screenshots and survey answers, and I can come back with some interviews if you want.

I’ve been working on a video on it and an essay on it for like years, I haven’t got all the research done yet, I haven’t got all the answers yet, but hell I’m slowly getting there!!!

I can’t wait to make it, but currently I’m just curious about all this stuff.

the more people I talk to the more I learn and it gets so interesting.

eh here take some of our screenshots

sorry if some are unrelated, I genuinely couldn’t read them all I’m pretty sure these are what I mean to put.

(EDIT: they are mostly gen z stuff lol whoops, eh still relevant.)

But again there’s just tons of problems and we are tackling like 2, out 0f 100’s.

(I have no spoons to image ID so feel free to do so)

so I don’t know, 🤷 you can do your own research. You have your own experiences, and I have mine.

none are wrong, none are bad, and we just are having a nice discussion and I love this!

I’ll happily link even MORE wonderful videos and give more screenshots, but I think rn it’s enough.

uh, yea.

that’s all I got right now.

Parents get sooooooo mad when anyone even remotely implies that if we know it negatively impacts adults then it’s probably quite detrimental to the health and development of a young mind to stick an iPad in front of a child any time they show signs of Behaviors. “Are you calling me a bad parent?” Yeah. I am.

[elderemorune]

My Name is August

Before anyone worries, I'm not technically doxxing myself. It's a chosen name, and I wanted to examine it. For awhile, really, but I've been going through it and it took me awhile to figure out what I needed to say about it.

My given name is Christian. My mother, who had me at too young with a man who beat her for daring to carry me (who is not my father, that dubiously given title belongs to the bastard child of American royalty), named be after a terrible Robin Hood movie featuring Kevin Costner whose only redeeming feature is Alan Rickman threatening to cut hearts out with spoons. This name was chosen because she thought it was so cool how Morgan Freeman's character (whose name I cannot recall) referred to Robin as Christian.

Yeah.

I'm sure other people have naming stories that are just as stupid, but this is my blog and we're here to talk about me. Anyway, the choosing of my name rings as thoughtless to me. Just "That sounds cool". Being blunt, this is simply how my entire life has felt.

Proving that point, I was recently diagnosed with CPTSD. No, I have not told my folks, no matter how much I want to, because I know they'll make it all about them. Mom will wail about how it's her fault she was such a bad mom, and dad will stare angrily at me for a moment before recognizing that I'm right and then doing nothing to accept responsibility, let alone prevent future behaviour like it.

I was constantly abandoned. Left to my own devices because to quote my father directly "You were always fantastically independent."

I had to be. In so many goddamn ways, I raised myself. On TV, on video games, on movies and comics and of course, the Internet. As long as I wasn't causing trouble, you said. Unless of course my sister caused trouble but blamed me, and you grounded me despite my protestations of innocence. Often willfully, you later admitted to me. It was just fucking easier to ground me, rather than be a fucking parent and discipline your daughter. And you wonder why I hate her.

And mom, she isn't innocent in this either. See, I was raised on infidelity and harem anime, though both of them deny their charges. Dad saying "Well, that's an unfair characterization" of mom waking us up at 4:00 AM to pack our shit and leave because you were fucking a woman in Seattle? What else would you call that, father? And mom denying that she watched all that much only to buckle as I refer to several (Ai Yori Aoshi, Fruits Basket, Tenchi, etc.).

Beyond the harem anime, which is mostly a joke, she just didn't fucking leave him. She never once put my needs above hers. Desired the financial safety net. "Well, he could have buried me in legal fees" she said, "But I know he never would have done it." she says after some pressing.

My father was verbally abusive to everyone in the house. Physically abusive with only me, though my sister will insist he beat her despite even he himself admitting to only ever hitting me. When I didn't know a math problem's solution, it was a swift smack up the backside of my head. When I 'misbehaved' (didn't do what he wanted when he wanted) it was a smack. This kept on until I got big enough to hit him back. All it took was one punch to the gut to remind this obelisk of a person that he was indeed human, and so was I.

Mom knew about this, of course. She turned a blind eye to it until I hit him back. Then I was in trouble for not toeing the goddamn line. Grounded again for an amount of time that by then no longer mattered.

And let's not forget my fucking sister Amy! Oh boy, what a trainwreck! First off, I fucking hate my sister. My entire life, anything I had to work for, she was simply given because it was otherwise 'unfair' and my folks didn't want to listen to her bitch. She's even gone so far as to co-opt my trauma! We did a exactly one family therapy session, wherein she said, in front of the therapist, that she was scared of dad because he used to hit her. It was silent for a moment, then father coughed. "Um. No. I never hit you. I only ever hit your brother, because I was taught you don't hit girls."

The counselor then chimed in. "Amy, I mean this with kindness, but you and I have been working together for a long time. You've told me before that your dad never hit you. What are you trying to say here?"

Amy, incredible performer that she is, rose up, said "FUCK YOU" at the top of her lungs, and stormed out. A classic tactic from her teenage years, where she would do this, storm out of the house, often barefoot, screaming about how she hoped she starved to death in the woods and maybe then they'd understand how fucking awfully they treated her.

Frankly, I hate all of these people. The worst part is how they know about the ways in which their behaviour impacts me. They are all moving to Florida this month, with my folks moving Amy into their new home for "at most 30 days" (yeah right) and buying her a car.

Amy says the car's a gift, mom says the car has payments on it. I don't know who to believe, and at this point I don't care. I had to work for my fucking car. She didn't. It's the same shit on a brand new day.

Like with my goddamn house.

See, my wife and I got married on October 31st of 2020. It wasn't the wedding we wanted, but it was the one we needed. We got back from the honeymoon, and mom and dad are talking about helping us get a mortgage on a house. Well, Amy hears this, and of course, like the 27 year old woman she is, she pitches a fucking tantrum about how unfair it is that "They get a house and I'm stuck here".

Well, mom and dad can't go about being unfair to their kid, now can they? After all, it would be so unfair to give a married couple a normal married couple gift and not give that same gift to their seemingly single daughter.

So father had a bright idea. Start an LLC, buy a house, and rent it to us.

My wedding gift, reduced to an apartment, turned into a living nightmare, because anything else would have been unfair.

Let's expand on the living nightmare, shall we? Over the course of sharing a roof with my sister, she:

Told us if we got pregnant she'd kill herself. Mom asked us to stop trying while we live with her because of how triggering it would be for her.

2: Threatened to kill herself if we got another dog. Mom and dad asked us to consider how unfair it would be to her and her 'emotional support' dog that she hadn't trained.

3: Called my wife a fat bitch on multiple occasions, including in front of my mom, and then claimed amnesia. "I don't remember calling her that, I never said that. You're taking what I said out of context." She still won't apologize, even when confronted with a recording of her doing it.

4: When she moved her boyfriend in (without asking us, mind, she lied and told us he'd only be staying a few days), he asked for a space in their area. When we were asked to mediate, she said "Why should I have to give up space in my house?" and when reminded it wasn't her house, she stormed out after shouting fuck you at the top of her lungs, barefoot, marching down a very dangerous street in the middle of the night.

5: Did the same stunt again when we got back from apartment hunting in Seattle because my wife dared to tell her to shut up because we'd just got back in the door.

There's just so goddamn much. All of it awful.

So I'm fucking reclaiming me from this.

My name is motherfucking August Jones, and even though they couldn't do it, I fucking love me. I love who I could be, and even who I was, trapped in their cycle of abuse though I may have been. Shit, I still am, but we're working on that.

Mom, dad, if you find this blog entry somehow, and I hope you don't, don't fucking come to me about how this shit's exaggerated or I'm not remembering it right, I am. The axe forgets, you fucking morons, but the tree remembers.

Amy, if you find this, I hope your husband fucking leaves you, takes his kids, and abandons you in Florida. He may be a doormat, but he deserves better than a slathering narcissist maggot like you.

[pwblogarchive]

January 2002

January 2, 2002

“cold ass motherfuckers” 

no heat in the van. nice. its so cold guys. the shows have been amazing. new years was so much fun. we are going to try to sneak into canada right now. see you soon.

love

pete

January 2, 2002

“canada dry” 

dude canada is great for hardcore. we had to sneak over the border because our contract was no good. somthing about the canadian government trying tolimit american cultures effects. welltheygot a healthy dose of arma angelus today. we had to sneak over. i am writing this one at a youth hostile right now. kids weresinging along and going offtonight in ottowa. i have heard that montreal is only going to be better. i am having the time of my life being sofar away from my problems at home. i just wanted to take the time to thank everyone for supporting us and allowing me to do this-anyway, we’re off to montreal with no heat. but feeling good anyway-

see everybody soon.

love pete

January 4, 2002

“hardcoreisaliveincanada”

first off i have toapologize for how this one looks. the spacebar does not work on this kids computer. so i am going to use “-” thisforaspace.-we-drove-into-montreal-last-night.-and-hung-in-the-city-all-day.-the-show-tonight-was-fucking-sick,.-kids-had-promised-us-it-would-be-a-good-show-and-we-were-not-let-down.-the-kids-here-are-so-great.-kids-went-nuts-when-we-played.-and-we-sold-1000-dollars-in-merch.-more-than-we’ve-ever-sold.-anyway-this-entry-looks-dumb-as-hell.-i-think-our-long-island-show-may-have-fallen-through.-so-we-may-end-up-in-boston-with-throwdown-orhere-again-on-the-hatebreed-show.

anyway-this-is-turning-out-to-be-our-best-tour-ever,-we-have-sold-out-a-bunch-of-our-merch.-we’ll-see-you-all-soon.

love

—-

pete

January 5, 2002

“my voice will be…” 

yes. we played montreal again tonight. it was even better. this time it was with hatebreed, poison the well and A death for every sin. it was hot. like 600-700 kids. kids knew the shit and went off. in between songs i took a picture of all these kids giving the metal sign- it was crazy- a couplehundred kids saying “cheese”- we’ll get it up on our site when we get a chance. i just left with a really good vibe. thanks to all of our friends old and new from canada that made this trip really great for us. we’re trying some of the new stuff live out on the road, so far it has been going over pretty well. on the way back into the U.S. we got stopped for me making up some bunk story of where we were on the spot. the guy then talked to us about goofy stuff and pretty much laughed at us, he was cool though. he knew about drums and stuff. anyway enough bad stories that make no sense. we’re playing philly tommorrow with Kill your idols and Punishment- then newyorkcity with Throwdown and bleeding through. best tour ever. we’re sleeping in syracuse tonight- it feels like a home away from home. its wierd we get crazier reactions on the road than we do in our own city. oh well. canada was a total sucess- and i got to eat all kinds of wierd candy bars and drinks that we don’t have in the U.S.- yes.

see you soon fuckers.

“nobody’s got style like us”

pete

January 5, 2002

“do you ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?” 

i’m so sorry. we got over the border late after hatebreed and didn’t realize that the show started at 2pm today. long story short we’re not going to make it. we will get there one of these days and i apoligize for this one.

oh yeah 1700+ from three days in canada- we'r e thousandaires.

pete

 January 15, 2002

“the oldest movie i ever saw.”

whats up? so we’ve been back for awhile. we’re writing for this slayer comp and the unbroken comp. tim is out of town so we can’t get a whole lot done. oh well. the new stuff we have been working on is totally boss though. you will like it. i’m back in school right now. boring. i think i am going to take next semester off and just do bands full time. hopefully by then between Arma and Fall Out Boy there will be no free time anyway. uh oh new realworld is on in like ten minutes. i bet it is going to be weak as hell. they need to get me up in that motherfucking show. other than band stuff my week has blown. i am slowly slipping out of someone’s life,not for any reason other than i am to busy with band stuff right now. it sucks. but i will just fail you right now anyway. letting people down is like the worst thing ever. “… and in the end i got honerable mention in the movie of my life starring you instead of me… the oldest movie i ever saw was the one made together…” i hav to say i love the guys in my band. i love the people i meet on tour. oh yeah. posi. feb. 2nd we’re playing the metro with rise against and Agnostic Front. be there. love, pete

January 30, 2002

“they only love you when you’re on top” 

haha. pretty hilarious how many people have been calling and emailing me about getting into the Metro show- “you know i always liked you guys”- fucking die. i hate everyone. so much bullshit. hardcore was cooler before the internet and before fuckign losers paraded around yelling “mosh you faggots”. i’m sorry. anyway i think we’re actually gonna get out to detroit and play a show in early march i forget with who. we’re also playing with bloodlet and deadtofall here in march and some other shows. other than that we’re just taking some time to regroup and should hit the road latespring/early summer. it snowed here. sledding. yes. snow always reminds me of tim burton movies. if i had to live forever somewhere it’d be inside one of those. i quit.

tim grenadexjumper: i’m going to LA when we get back blah blah

adam: i’m sick as fuck for real.

pete: don’t do it dude shes fat.

chris xbeastslayerx: but she had some dope ____ hahahaha

jim: you are what killed the core

todd: sleep.

charlie: okay so this is a tour story right?

you should know: the new TKT is good as are first kisses and letters written on napkins at four in the morning. fall out boy is recording- you will listen. tim spent a week in LA he probably has AIDS. Be at the Metro at 6:30 on sunday or i will kill you- if you’re our friend or been supporting us you will be on the list.

love pete

[wickedwitchoftheemidwest]

Happy New Year, everybody! I know that Literally no one cares or will read this, but I have to rate and talk about what I’ve read this year and this is my page, so deal with it.

2020 may have been a dumpster fire of a year, but I did read so me pretty good books. I didn’t get to read as many books as I wanted (like always), but that’s life. If you couldn’t tell, I do have a preference for romance novels, and these selections are very... 🌈 and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Here we go:

- Lies we Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley (4/10)

- I think I could write a dissertation about why I have a problem with this book, but I think I can just stop with “a white lady writing an interracial queer romance in the 1960s where the lead white character is literally a racist” should about cover it. Absolutely disappointed.

- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston (10/10)

- Oh my god does Casey McQuiston know how to write a book. Classic enemies to lovers, my favorite trope. This is my comfort novel that I use as a form of escapism, and probably the reason I didn’t read many new books, as I reread it about five times. It’s my comfort novel, and I come back to it every time I need to feel happy. I’ve made three of my friends read this book, and I recommend it to everyone

- These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling (8/10)

- It’s sapphic, it has witches, and it’s adorable; what more could you possibly want? The ending left me wanting more. I was finally able to buy the sequel and I can’t wait to get into it.

- Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (7/10)

- I think this book is sort of a classic when it comes to gay YA. This was a pretty good book, but it took me awhile to get into it.

- Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins (9/10)

- What did I say about enemies to lovers? HRH was regarded as sapphic Red, White, and Royal Blue, which I think is all you need to know to be interested. This book and short, sweet, and to the point. It’s an easy read (I read it twice, both times in one day). I think there could’ve been some more character building, but it’s so adorable I literally do not care. When I say I want more cute gay romcoms, they should use HRH as the blueprint.

- It’s Not Like It’s a Secret by Misa Sugiura (7/10)

- A cute, interracial sapphic love story where no white people are involved (the main character is Japanese American and her love interest is Mexican American). This coming of age story deals with acceptance, cultural differences, racism, and coming out. I think some of the points it was trying to delve into were too much on the nose at some times, but I really enjoyed this book.

- The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee (9/10)

- A fun romp set some time in the 1700s with a chaotic bi as the main lead? Count me in! I read this whole series this year, including the novella (the gentleman’s guide to getting lucky), and I loved every second of it. It’s an adventure series with some romance sprinkled in (a hella slow burn, but definitely worth it). The whole series has gay, bi, lesbian, and ace aro representation, and I was in love the entire time.

- You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson (8/10)

- The black sapphic book I needed. Liz Lighty decides she wants to leave her hometown and go to college, but after losing the financial aid she was counting on, she remembers the scholarship that prom queen gets every year, and decides to run. Sprinkle in a cute love story, and I’m hooked.

- The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (10/10)

- I... cannot put into words how this book made me feel. When I finished TSOA, I cried all night trying to recover. Beautifully written, and I still can’t get over Achilles and Patroclus. One of my favorite books this year.

- Sorry Not Sorry by Naya Rivera

- After Naya’s tragic passing in July, I struggled to find her autobiography anywhere. However, I was finally able to get my hands on it, and am so glad that I did. Naya Rivera was just as genuinely funny and carefree as her previous costars have said, and I wish the world could’ve gotten more of her.

Not pictured:

- Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst (9/10)

- Sapphic love story about a princess who has been betrothed to a prince from a nearby country her whole life who instead falls in love with his sister. The main character, Denna, also possesses magical powers, which is forbidden in their land. One of my favorite things about this book is that it’s set in medieval times, but no one cares about queer relationships. The only problem with Denna falling in love with the princess is that she’s betrothed to her brother and nothing else. I recently bought the sequel to this book as well, and I’m excited to read it

- The After Series (books 1-2) by Anna Todd (-400/10)

- I was curious about this series because of how terrible the movies are, and needed to read them myself. I apologize to myself every day that I every even wasted my time on these two books. If I ever see Anna Todd, it’s on sight immediately. Not only is the writing terrible, but the romanticization of abusive relationships is absolutely unacceptable. I think I could take less issue with these books if the author wrote them as a “what to look for in men you should never date” rule book, but it isn’t. I could actually write an essay on why these books are more harmful than entertaining and how I genuinely think this series should have never been published. Also, Harry Styles did not deserve this.

I also discovered WEBTOON this year, and here are some of my favorites that I have read:

- Always Human by creator walkingnorth, a finished WLW story which was absolutely beautiful to look at and delightful to read.

- Lore Olympus by creator Rachel Smythe. I don’t think you can find too many people who haven’t heard of this story, but it’s a retelling of the Hades and Persephone mythology, and I adore it.

- Novae by creators KaixJu. A historical, queer and paranormal romance about a necromancer who falls for an astronomer.

- My Lady Artemisia by creator rimarza. This WEBTOON is a little bit newer with fewer episodes, about a knight tasked with guarding the princess, which starts to prove difficult once she starts to gain feelings for the princess, and an impending threat might cause her to past to come to the surface.

Of course, I’ve also spent a lot of my time on A03. I know I’ve read more, but here are the ones I bookmarked and have come back to this year:

- kiss me (if you mean it) by nerdybutpunk

- Carry On fanfic, short but sweet, absolute fluff

- Camp Llwynywermod by bleedingballroomfloor

- Red, White, and Royal Blue AUwhere Henry and Alex are camp counselors. It’s so good and I find myself waiting every wed and sat for the updates.

I read more this year than I have in a long time, and I enjoyed it most of the time. My goal for 2021 is to read at least two books a month and to expand my horizons to something that isn’t YA and isn’t romance. Also to find Anna Todd and tell her off. Hopefully we can accomplish some of that.

[sic-semper-hominibus]

a problem i havent seen anyone else mention is that for a lot of americans, espicially but not exclusively white and/or middle class or above americans, the entire concept of a staple food has been lost

eating the same thing more than 2-3 times a week is seen as something that foreigners and people who cant afford variety do. mexicans eat tortillas with stuff in them. italians eat pasta. asians eat rice. poor people eat cold cuts. if you ask an american what "american food" is, the answer you get is likely to be something to the effect of "idk, burgers i guess?"

there are absolutely exceptions to this, mostly from communities of color and poor communities. southern food is a great example. but there again you run into those cuisines being othered. even in areas where there are regional or cultural dishes that the white middle+ class people claim as their own, those dishes tend to be for special occasions rather than for every day

i think this is part of why so many people don't like breakfast: "breakfast food" has been narrowly defined, which means you can only have so many different meals before they start becoming staples. we all saw awhile back the trend of rich people starting to gentrify breakfast cereal. the reason they were able to do that in the first place was because they mostly don't eat it, which in turn is because eating the same thing too often is for poor people

i don't know what to do with this realization, but i'm pretty sure it's a significant factor in the pushback the left gets from these groups. if everyone buys local, that restricts, to whatever degree, the variety available to them and thus brings them closer to the people they think they're better than for eating a more diverse diet

[minjaefreedom]

what is up with day6 atm? I'm seeing people reacting to the drama, but so far haven't found the drama

......................a lot but i'll do my best lol but if you scroll through my "tw//negativity" tag you'll find some of the things ppl r talking abt

So basically Jae has been slowly distancing himself from d6 for awhile now and he kinda fell in w the Dive Studios crowd and now he's like doing twitch streaming and seems to be trying to get in w that crowd + 88rising (an asian american label) crowd.

He's been very open about his struggles as a kpop idol, but in doing so he has put his foot in his mouth several times and said many things that are really insulting to the rest of d6 (like calling them "inauthentic") like he's obviously trying to distance himself from kpop idoldom, but he's doing it in a way that plays into very problematic Western views of kpop that are rooted in racism and it's just a bad look all around. He's also praised JYP several times while shading his bandmates and that just leaves a bad taste in many people's mouths. He officially left JYPE at the end of last year, even though he said that he hasn't officially left d6, they're just on their military hiatus rn. I think he's said some more things abt d6 since then but honestly I don't know everything he's said so I'm not sure.

The current problem is that he was on twitch and was like "Now that I'm not an idol anymore I can say this. Why Jamie tryna be a thot?" and then laughed about it. Jamie is a fellow former JYPE artist that Jae has known since she was 15ish (and he was 20ish) and has been one of his good friends and supporters. He worked with her at After School Club and at Dive Studios. Jamie has apparently always struggled with ppl making bad comments about her + sexualizing her like this. People have been rlly tearing Jae apart over this on twt and Jamie herself saw it and tweeted abt how hurt she was (she's since deleted these tweets). Jae apologized and claimed that he thought "thot" meant the same thing as "baddie" (it does not).

Theoretically, it IS possible that he really thought that those were interchangeable terms. Even though Jae is a native English speaker, that does not mean he actually knows what those terms mean. Thot and baddie are AAVE terms, which is a language/dialect (I'm not sure what it's classified as) that most people outside of the African American community aren't very familiar with. Meaning isn't always easy to really understand with just context. Like, I'm a native English speaker and I've heard ppl say baddie but I'm still not rlly sure what it means exactly. More importantly, all of this ties into a much larger problem of non-black people butchering AAVE and using it incorrectly and out of context. But that's another conversation that I should not be spear-heading as a white person. It was still very wrong and awful of Jae to call Jamie a thot, bc most ppl know by now that when it comes to general slang, it's associated with words like hoe, and has a similar meaning. Jae knew damn well what he was saying when he called her that. Just bc he might have POSSIBLY thought the words were interchangeable does NOT excuse him calling her a thot as an insult.

It was just a bad thing all around like his tone when he called her a thot was very "shit talking behind someone's back" but with like extra layers of misogyny (him, as a guy, calling a woman a thot behind her back) and fame (he said that publicly in front of thousands of ppl in a way that made jamie look bad) like he rlly just kinda exposed himself to be (at the very least a bit of) an asshole.

TL:DR he called a female friend a thot on a live stream and seems to be trying his hardest to fit in w a new crowd of ppl who will never respect him or like him like he wants, and in the process he's shitting all over the ppl who have been his friend/by his side since the beginning and it's just a bad look and shitty behavior.

[thegothicviking]

As re-entering a link from herzeleid.com never seem to work (??) I usually copy and paste the actual text. Remember a transcription of Flake chatting with fans that I posted from early 00'? Before this Paul had a similar if not the same chat. I have already too long post in tumblr now so it will be broken down in 2 parts!

PAUL CHAT WITH FANS part I

Transcribed by Jeremy Williams

Taken from Rammstein.com chat

October 26 , 2005

_____________________________

Mod: Hello to you all. Thanks for coming out. Paul will be here in just a few minutes. And then we're going to get started.

Paul: Let's go!

niti: +++

Mod: Sorry, there was a technical problem. But the chat will start soon.

niti: +++

**atomrt: how do you chose the sounds for each song because all of them fit perfectly?**

Paul: Thanks a lot! Sometimes that works out well, sometimes not so well.+++

**maria: Your album covers have always sparked a lot of controversy. Which cover is your favourite and why?**

Paul: The cover for Sehnsucht was the most dramatic in my opinion.+++

**Benzramm: What was coming out of the fake penis during the live act "Bück Dich"? **

Paul: That was water with Ouzo to make it milky.+++

**Beurgueur: Good evening, Have you ever thought to write a metal-opera based on rammstein’ story?**

Paul: Hopefully not. We have enough theater elements already.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I was at River Plate Stadium in Argentina, 1999, when you toured with KISS. You did almost surpassed KISS music and show with your impact, and many people was really impressed. I still remember the silence during Du Hast, as Till was singing the refrain. What do you remember of Argentina, of this show? **

Paul: Yeah, that was unbelievable. It's a shame that we can't play in South America this time. Flake was seriously ill.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Did Till write Te Quiero Puta on his own, or had some kind of external help? I know it's not very complicated, nor elaborated in the lyrics, but it's not easy to put two or three sentences together if you don't know the language... believe me! I'm still trying with German!**

Paul: He had some help from his girlfriend and from Flake's friend from Chile.

Paul: But Till can already speak Spanish so well that he only had a few questions about grammar.+++

**monkeyman: What type of gear do you use when recording in the studio?**

Paul: This would take two hours to list. Too much for now. Sorry.+++

**Hugo: Why did you choose almost the same cover for the japanese version of Reise, Reise and Rosenrot? **

Paul: Because we thought it would be a shame to use the cover only for the Japanese edition.+++

**MafiUndomiel: There are many bands that edited DVD and VHS with the footage they got when they recorded their albums, the creative process and all that stuff. Since many R+ fans are really interested in knowing "Rammstein's kitchen", have you considered releasing something of that kind?

** Paul: I filmed some of the footage during Reise, Reise and it will come out sometime on a DVD as bonus material.+++

**blastedop: What happened to Live DVD? It was delayed? **

Paul: Yeah a little bit, but we're going to try to do it this year.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I wanted to know how did you put your setlists together when you go to a country you've never been... you mix old and new material, or you prefer to show your new material above all, and play only the "classics"? **

Paul: We play a mix of both old and new.+++

**Jenna: As you are possibly the most successful band from Germany (singing in German) that you are expected to represent German music and culture to the rest of the world? **

Paul: It was never our plan to play all over the world.

Paul: Sometimes we wonder ourselves how this all happened.+++

**beurgueur: what american film director would you enjoy to make a ckip with **

Paul: Tarantino.+++

**Benzramm: Did you ever get hurt when you were working with fire on the live acts ? **

Paul: Sometimes.+++

**aeon: One Rammstein member said you had a movie project with Werner Herzog. Do you think this project will be carried out and would you like to act in something different from Rammstein videos ? **

Paul: It's been awhile with WErner herzog. Maybe it will work out, there's still a plan to do it.

Paul: +++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul: What is your favorite live performance effect? (like the flamethrowes in Feuer frei or the bow in DRSG) **

Paul: The nose flame throwers that we use in Feuer frei!+++

**MafiUndomiel: Which was your first guitar? Do you still own it? **

Paul: It was a Telecaster copy. A cheap one. I gave away my first guitars at an auction for a good cause. No idea whether it worked out.+++

**Straya: This has been in my mind for a while now, and I must ask. From the sample songs on the official site, it seems Rosenrot might be your 'hardest/loudest' albums, the songs seem 'hard', in a way, like Ich Will, Feuer Frei, and Mein Teil; what do you think of this? **

Paul: I don't think so. There are fewer sequences so the guitars come out better.+++

**Synthema: Do you still feel that being in Rammstein is almost like being in a six-way marriage? Does the band still function as a tight a unit or have things drifted apart? **

Paul: Yeah.

Paul: We're still together. Knock on wood. We've been together for 10 years and now that we've gone through our crisis, we feel better than ever.

Paul: We've got money, success, beautiful women and all the rest.

Paul: Things can only get worse.+++

**Jenna: Do you think your videos help to stop you taking yourselves too seriously? **

Paul: We've always taken ourselves less seriously than many people think. our best friends know this.

Paul: At the moment, we don't feel like making any humouress videos.+++

**whiskeypapa: When writing a song, how many/what kinds of revisions does the song go through before finally making it onto an album? **

Paul: Some songs make it out directly as we conceived them. With other songs, we make 20 versions and they still don't make it.

Paul: +++

**Noora: HI! I'm a fashion and design student from Finland and I was wondering about your stage costumes...How much do you participate in the designing and making of the outfits that you use on your tours? I understand that every album has its own look. Do you first design the outline of the look as a band and hen consult a designer and maker? Thanx and welcome back to Finland! :)**

Paul: Most ideas come directly from the band. For the last outfit, we had the idea to combine Bavarian folkloric outfits with industrial.

Paul: Because Bavarian folklore is not very cool and we like to mix things that you're not supposed to.+++

**Beurgueur: Have you ever thought in what your life would be now if rammstein never was created?**

Paul: No. We don't think that way.+++

**minx: It’s been stated in several interviews that the band has two pyromaniacs in the group, but is there anyone who is not so fond of fire?**

Paul: Everybody in the band has a different specialty.

Paul: Each of us is really equally important.

Paul: It doesn'T matter what each does, it could be better when two are on vacation during preparation and actually help us to make a good video this way.+++

**Badeend: Who thinks of the titles of the cd's? Is it some kind of democraty or is it 1 man that decides?**

Paul: We make the decision as a group but it's not really a democracy. More like a board of directors.+++

**Biz: How have older industrial bands (such as Laibach or KMFDM) influenced you?**

Paul: A lot.

Paul: Also Ministry.+++

**minx: What is the oily black/brown liquid that you are all covered with on stage? Is it a fire retardant liquid?**

Paul: No.

Paul: That's a secret.+++

**minx: Why did you wear a paper bag over your head at the concert in Tallin, last November?**

Paul: I wanted to display an Iraqi prisoner.

Paul: There's a photo of a guy behind barbed wire and he's holding his son but he has a bag on his head.

Paul: That photo really had an impact on me.+++

**aeon: Why do you only do signing sessions in London and Paris? Why not in other big cities f Europe or even Germany? Or is anything planned? **

Paul: Actually we've only planned for Paris. London snuck in at the last minute.

Paul: I don't know any more signing sessions details right now.+++

**Badeend: Did you take gitar lessons or did you teach it on your self?**

Paul: Self-taught.

Paul: +++

**minx: I am going to be at the signing in London on Sunday. Do you enjoy doing those types of promotional events or are they just ‘hard work’?**

Paul: Sometimes it's a lot of fun but other times it can be exhausting.+++

**Synthema: It could be said that the "Rosenrot" photos are quite a departure image-wise from what one would expect from the band. Was this something that was decided by the band for a particular reason, or is this the sort of decision that is out of your hands? Does your management or record label have much control over how you present yourselves, or is that left to you?**

Paul: We don't like to repeat ourselves.

Paul: Usually the band always has the last word on these amtters. But weR'e not always interested in all of the details.+++

**Badeend: What is the new instrument you used in the song Te Quiero Puta?**

Paul: Trumpet.+++

**beurgueur: do you think you'll be on stage again when you'll be 60? (like rolling stones for example...)**

Paul: Hopefully somebody will die first. Then we won'T have to worry about that.+++

**minx: Do you do you all do own make-up for the shows?**

Paul: Yes.+++

**OK-River: Will Rammstein play again "Bück Dich" in a concert, or it is something of the past?**

Paul: I wouldn't say no.+++

**blastedop: Rosenrot is so diferent from Reise Reise. How is this possible if these songs are from Reise Reise recording season?**

Paul: I don'T think so. Listen to the whole album.+++

**Benzramm: Are you a sort of scared when flake is going with his boat in the public ? **

Paul: No.

Paul: But it was always Oli last year.+++

**whiskeypapa: Which of your songs invokes the most emotion from you?**

Paul: Seemann.+++

**MsBehaviour: Greetings from Finland and good evening! My question is, you have been playing together as a band for quite a many years now, and there is a big difference in the sound of Herzeleid and the sound of Reise Reise. Does this "evolution" come naturally to you, or do you make conscious decisions as to where to direct your sound? How do you feel about the change?**

Paul: There are some of us who want to stay the same.

Paul: There's some of us who want to always change.

Paul: These parties fight each other and the result is a new album or a black eye.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Have you heard a cover version of Keine Lust made by a Russian guy called Miguel? What did you think about it?**

Paul: Not yet, unfortunately.+++

**Badeend: Do you have a private jet or do you have to rent a plane?**

Paul: When the record company pays, we fly Business. When we have to pay, it'S Tourist class. Sometimes, when the connections are difficult, we rent a litlle jet.+++

**luna: First "Snow White" now "Rose Red". Do the members of Rammstein have a fondness for fairytales?**

Paul: Who doesn't?+++

**Synthema: Do you still enjoy performing live after all these years, or is it more of a chore now?**

Paul: If we didn't like it, we wouldn't have been around so long.+++

**Benzramm: Is there a double meaning in the songtexts of your songs ? **

Paul: Yeah. But the subtleties and double-meanings get lsot in translation.+++

**Badeend: What is your favorite song or cd?**

Paul: Kill Bill 1.+++

**DRS2G: Is "Hilf Mir" inspired by a Heinrich Hoffmann's tale?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Synthema: Have you ever felt that the success of Rammstein has been a negative thing for you in your personal life? That it makes it difficult to decide who to trust and who not to?**

Paul: It is difficult to stay normal despite money and success.

Paul: We fight this on a daily battle but we usually win.+++

**Beurgueur: from a viewer: what guitar do you use for your c tuning, and what guitar does richard use for this?**

Paul: I play a Gibson Les Paul and Richard plays ESP guitars.+++

**Benzramm: Did you really go to the mountains for the videoclip "Ohne Dich"?**

Paul: Yes. The was the funnest video of them all.

Paul: The thin air up there was difficult.

Paul: I'm impressed by mountain climbers who go even higher.

Paul: It was difficult for our crew and us.+++

**MafiUndomiel: how did you and richard decided who was going to be lead and who rythm guitars?**

Paul: Good question.

Paul: We're both stubborn.

Paul: It's a fight every time but we're still doing alright up to now.

Paul: Actually, the winner is supposed to be the one who plays the best solo.+++

**Badeend: Do you still have to take guitar lessons to play better?**

Paul: No.+++

**blastedop: Do you visit fansites? How about a Top 10 Fansites in the official page?**

Paul: From time to time.+++

**Badeend: Why did you pick just that girl for the Texas vocal in Stirb nich vor Mir?**

Paul: It was our producer's idea.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Paul, is there any country that you´d like to visit or going on tour, and you haven´t yet? Why?**

Paul: Yes, we would love to go to Turkey, Mongolia, Iraq. We know we've got lots of fans there.+++

**Jenna: Which current musicians (Not youselves, I'm sorry) do you think are creating the best work at the moment?**

Paul: System of a Down, Muse, Snoop Doggy Dog, Eminem, Slip Knot, etc.+++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul, How do you feel about us fans?**

Paul: It's an honour.+++

**Minx: Do you have a favourite guitar part in a particular song you really enjoy?**

Paul: +++

**DRS2G: Will "Rosenrot" be the 2nd single from your new album?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Straya: I'm wondering how this question has not come up yet... but, plenty of people are asking if you guys will tour in America and Canada. I don't mean for this to be one of those annoying questions. But, has anything be talked about?**

Paul: I'm certain that we'll tour North and South America with our next album.+++

**rammsteinuk: I read in a recent interview that there were some arguments within the band during the production of 'Mutter'. Have there been any more strong disagreements like this since?

**Paul: Thankfully not. There's always stress when six stubborn people meet, but nothing serious.+++

**minx: Most influential musician on yourself?**

Paul: Laibach, Ministry, Metallica, Nirvana.+++

**blastedop: Did you like Benzin video? Schneider didnt.**

Paul: I don't think it's that bad.

Paul: We've had three really good videos in a row, so it'S hard to keep the standards so high.

Paul: I'm glad that there's some variation, next time we'll improve.+++

**whiskeypapa: First, Reise Reise saw a "country moment" with Los, and now Rosenrot has Te Quiero Puta. If you could make a fusion of Rammstein and any other world music (for fun), what would it be?**

Paul: Yes, I interested in all combinations of things that don'T fit together.+++

**Biz: Are there any downsides to being famous?**

Paul: We're famous but we can still buy groceries in Berlin without bodyguards.

Paul: We've got nothing to complain about.

Paul: Our band is famous around the world but we still have normal lives, thank God.+++

**minty: Paul are you looking forward to the world cup next year? who will win?**

Paul: Yes. It doesn'T look good for Germany right now.

Paul: I hope that a miracle happens.+++

**aeon: Do you hope your music will still be appreciated in many years from now or it doesn't matter to you ?**

Paul: I think that we're relatively timeless.

Paul: But that'S probably what every band thinks and two years later nobody cares ...+++

**DRS2G: Was it good to be directed by Jonas Akerlund?!**

Paul: Yes, he's just a cool guy.+++

[mascwhump]

Chapter 7 - Classified

TW: blood, mild manhandling

Tag list: @whatwasmyprevioususername @milk-carton-whump @whumpasaurus101 @whatwhumpcomments @mnmlover2002 @ashintheairlikesnow

-

There was a heavy silence in the room while Mallory scanned the pages of Crow's journal. Crow was understandably agitated. He was pulling against the chains with a scowl on his face.

"'March 22nd,'" Mallory began reading, "'The new kid comes today. Don't know much about him, only that he's a great shot. He'll be the only yank on the team. Expecting a lot of fun to come from that. Adrian already has a few ideas for how we can fuck with him.'"

Charlie cracked a small smile. They did indeed give him a lot of shit for being American. Adrian had enough pranks to last him months. Mallory flipped the page and continued reading.

"'March 23rd. Kid seems nice. He's pretty quiet. I wonder how long that'll last. He did the dishes without being asked last night. If he keeps that up, I might have to work harder to keep his arse around.’"

"It didn't last long," Adrian said, laughing.

Crow shot him a look that made him silent. Charlie had to admit, it was sort of nice to know what Crow was thinking for once. He had a feeling Adrian and Ethan felt the same way, but the clear invasion of privacy made it bittersweet. Mallory flipped to the next page but didn't read anything from it, instead he went back to skimming. He flipped about 15 pages before reading again.

"’April 9th. At the range. I'm sitting here wondering where the kid learned to shoot like that. He handles that sniper like Van Gogh handled a paintbrush. It's an art.’ Sounds like you’ve got an admirer, Charlie.”

Crow looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact. He had a blank expression now, but he was chewing on his lip. Charlie felt guilty. The room was quiet for a little while as Mallory skimmed through more pages.

“You’re a pretty good artist, I’ll give you that,” Mallory said, turning the journal toward the group. It was a drawing of some mountains from a previous mission. The team had remained in that spot for almost twelve hours, waiting for nightfall. It was incredibly detailed and took up both pages of the book. Mallory went back to flipping pages, and finally stopped on one.

“Oh, this. This is what I was looking for,” he said, a smirk growing on his lips.

Crow’s head shot toward him, the color draining from his face. He must’ve known what page he found. He opened his mouth to protest, but Mallory started to read.

“‘August 22nd. Got a few days off. Celebrated by drinking. I’m drunk. Too many drinks. Charlie fell in the fire pit. Will now be known as Flame. I’m too drunk. Had to hide in my room. Too afraid of saying something I shouldn’t. Charlie came to the door and asked me to come back. Told him I would. I’m afraid. Can’t fuck this up.’”

“Stop,” Crow muttered.

Charlie’s heart was in his throat. He was nervous; he couldn’t imagine what Crow was feeling. Adrian was looking over at him, and Ethan was acting like he wasn’t paying attention. Mallory continued to the next page.

“‘I read that writing down what you’re feeling and then burning the paper is a good way to solve bad feelings. It’s not a bad feeling but maybe it’ll make me stop thinking about it. I’m going to try. I knew on the first day that he would be special. Just didn’t realize how much so. Didn’t know someone could make me feel this way. I hate it. Hate that I’ll never be able to say it out loud. Sometimes I watch him, and I just want to tell him everything. I hope he knows that he’s perfect.’”

Crow pulled his knees up and hid his face in them. Mallory snapped the journal closed. He didn’t say anything, but looked around the room with a delighted look. Charlie’s heart was racing. Between what he just heard and his low blood sugar, he thought he would pass out.

“I’ll let you all sit with that for awhile. Charlie, you still need to get cleaned up,” Mallory said

He handed the journal to one of the soldiers and told them to wipe Ethan’s face with a rag.

“If you fight me again, Charlie, I won’t just stab you, but I’ll stab everyone else in this room,” Mallory threatened.

Charlie nodded. The handcuffs came off and were put back on after he stood. He took a glance at his team before leaving the room. Mallory lead him down the hall, one hand on his arm and the other on his shoulder.

“So, tell me. How do you feel about that?” He asked.

“About what?” Charlie asked.

“About what your Captain wrote about you, idiot.”

“Don’t know yet,” Charlie mumbled.

He was too focused on the intense nausea to think about it.

“Well, I think it’s kind of sweet, you know? Although, it’s a little problematic. Superior-subordinate relationships tend to be frowned upon. Not to mention the fact that you’re both men. The military really doesn’t like that, from what I hear.”

Charlie stopped walking.

“I don’t need your input,” he spat, “This doesn’t involve you whatsoever.”

“Oh, but it does. After all, if it wasn’t for me, you most likely would never have even found out,” Mallory replied, nudging Charlie to keep moving.

Charlie grit his teeth and kept walking. He didn’t have the energy to fight it. They continued until they reached a door near the end of the hall. It was the room Charlie had been kept in the last few weeks. He swallowed, eyeing his blanket in the corner of the room. Mallory pushed him toward the bathroom and had him stand in the corner while he ran the bath. Once it was filled, he removed the handcuffs from Charlie’s wrists.

“I’ll be outside,” Mallory said.

He stepped out and shut the curtain. Charlie undressed and slipped in the bath. He grabbed a washcloth from the side and scrubbed the dried blood from his abdomen and face.

“I bet you’re hungry,” Mallory said from outside.

Charlie didn’t reply. He scrubbed his skin until it was red, then rinsed off before stepping out of the bath.

“Uh, there’s no towel,” he said.

“That’s unfortunate. I’m not leaving you to go get one,” Mallory said.

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Just put on your clothes.”

Charlie sighed and slipped on his underwear and sweatpants over his wet skin.

“Are you dressed?”

“Yup.”

Mallory slid open the curtain.

“Ha, your hair is kind of cute when it’s wet,” he said.

“Don’t fucking call me cute,” Charlie hissed.

They left the bathroom. Mallory walked over to the wall where the chains were and motioned for Charlie to come to him.

“You’re leaving me in here?”

“For now.”

Charlie didn’t protest. He wanted to go back to his team, but he knew that he wouldn’t win this battle. He reluctantly let Mallory attach the chains that kept him to the wall.

“Remember, you still owe me a favor,” Mallory said as he left the room.

Charlie sat on the floor next to his mat. He didn’t want to get it or his blanket wet. He closed his eyes. All he could think about now was food. His hands were cold and shaking as he fought the nausea. Luckily, it wasn’t long before the door opened again. This time, a solider entered with a plate of food. His eyes lit up. She placed it on the floor in front of him and stood against the back wall while he ate.

It was a boring meal of cooked carrots, a bread roll, and a tiny slice of ham. He didn’t care. He ate fast, almost too fast. The food was gone in a minute and the solider took the plate before leaving. Slowly feeling his energy and strength returning, he let out a content sigh. His mind was clearing up.

He wasn’t sure if that was blessing or a curse, because now, all he could think about was Crow.

He knew he wasn’t bothered. He was just confused. It was a surprise to him; he never would have guessed in a million years that Crow felt that way about him. Then again, Crow was a master at hiding emotion. He could be having the best day of his life and still keep a straight face. He was the definition of running away from your problems.

Charlie was worried about what was going to change. He knew it would be awkward. Not just between them, but the entire team. It had to be discussed. There couldn’t be an elephant in the room. But that would have to wait - this wasn’t the time or place to do it.

He started to get a headache. He crawled under his blanket on his mat and closed his eyes.

-

When Charlie woke up, his mouth was dry and his headache hadn’t gotten any better. He groaned as he sat up, vision blurry. He froze when he noticed Mallory sitting in the corner of the room. He was scrolling on his phone, and glanced up at Charlie before going back to what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” Charlie questioned as he began rubbing his temples.

Mallory ignored him. He stood up, but stayed in the opposite side of the room. Charlie watched him, confused, as he started typing. Finally, after a few minutes, he walked over to Charlie.

“I have a question for you. You have one chance to tell me the truth,” Mallory said.

He turned his phone to face Charlie. On the screen was a video of Deke on CCTV. He was in a stolen uniform of one of the soldiers. He entered a room, then left with a file in hand.

“Who is this?”