#this is a long one and i'm kinda in a weird headspace right now. i'll get to the rest of the questions later

[estrogenism]

hi there, i saw your account on twitter at one point and disagreed with a lot of your views, views that you now seemed to have changed your mind on. why did you hold those views and why did you change your mind?

hi anon,

first of all, i'd like to apologize for the fact that you had to see me at my worst. that couldn't have been easy to see and i'm sorry about the harmful things that i said. as for why i held those views, it's the same fucked up reasons that a lot of exclusionists hold those views.

i saw a lot of labels describing intimate attraction as strict boxes that had very little wiggle room. i've faced a lot of lesbomisia, and instead of blaming the actual lesbomisic people, i decided to blame people who actually cared about being called lesbomisic. exclusionist views generally come down to them thinking that it's easier to blame other queer people online for queermisia than it is to blame the actually queermisic people in the real world.

i was also in a radfem pipeline and under the influence of radfem propaganda, and you know how they are about labels. i'd say the most inclusive views i had at the time was that nonbinary lesbians and gays coule date eachother, transmascs could be lesbians as long as they weren't man-aligned, and vice versa with transfem gays. i felt the need to arbitrarily gatekeep lesbianism from people that whose labels i couldn't properly understand due to my own binary view of lesbianism.

in summary, it was basically another case of blame shifting based off of my own personal incredulity.

as for why i changed my views, i partially have a friend to thank for that. shi had been changing her own views shortly before i left the exclusionist side of twitter. we had a conversation about this, and after acknowledging what shi had to say, combined with a shit ton of harassment from fans of a certain white leftist streamer, i left exclustwt. this wasn't when i changed my beliefs. it was simply when i got sick of the performative, selective activism on exclustwt. and shortly after, i realized that i was sick of exclusionism in general. i basically wrote a note detailing a lot of my beliefs on common queer discourse. and i was going over the mspec lesbian and lesboy section, and just thinking to myself, i sound exactly like a terf. no wonder a lot of people consider me to be queermisic.

i started to actually open my eyes to the many resources that inclusionists provided to prove why mspec lesbians and lesboys exist. and i'm just thinking to myself, why do we even need to prove the existence of a queer label? why do we need to justify our self-identification? isn't this just the neopronouns discourse all over again? the non-dysphoric trans discourse all over again? just the same pointless queer discourse rebranded as "well this time they're ACTUALLY harmful!!" as if that isn't the same thing said about every queer group that has been a victim of reactionary exclusionary gatekeeping?

i read. i read a lot. i'm a library type of gal and often go to the library in my local area, so i'm more than used to the prospect of reading. i've read some queer literature before, but at the time my brain was shutting off at the prospect of anything that i disagreed with. i sat my ass down and started rereading queer literature, stone butch blues being one of them. i actually absorbed everything that was being said this time, and i knew that i had been wrong about what the real danger in the queer community was.

the real danger is the people who want to divide us, the people who will blame other queer people for the existence of queermisia, the people who will send death threats to a queer person. the real danger is the terfs and right-wingers and the queer people who will let terfs and right-wingers control us and our history. the real danger is the people who are compliant with lesbian seperatist ideology while saying "fuck terfs."

the real danger is NOT some butch lesbian calling themselves lesboys, it's the people who want to stop them from doing so and kick them from spaces that they've always belonged in. the real danger is NOT some trans men calling themselves lesbians, it's the people who want to stop them from doing so and kick them from spaces that they've always belonged in.

and honestly, at the end of the day? i just learned that other peoples' identities aren't my business. i don't have a right to tell other people that they're describing their own experiences wrong. i don't have a right to tell them that they can't call themselves a lesbian, because while i am a lesbian myself, my lesbianism does not entitle me to gatekeep lesbianism. nobody is obligated to listen to someone who tells them that they're wrong to call themself a lesbian, and that letting lesbian exclusionists gatekeep lesbianism is "being a good ally and listening to lesbians." by that logic, we should let lesbian terfs gatekeep trans women from lesbianism because we'd be "listening to lesbians."

as much of a fairytale that must sound like, it's the best way that i can describe me realizing that i was a stupid, impressionable kid susceptible to terf propaganda. i hope that answered your question, anon. it is sort of hard to actually put this sort of stuff into words, but i do think it's incredibly important for me and other ex-exclusionists to think back, ask why we thought that, and recognize the holes in our former views. because every exclusionist argument that i can think of has holes in it.

[protectingtulpas]

Hey there! Apologies if the start of this ask sounds familiar. We're not comfortable with using Tumblr yet, and might have accidentally sent an incomplete ask.

Anyways, you seem pretty cool! Asking for some advice...

So, back in September, I found out about tulpamancy and decided to try my hand at this stuff. And it worked, so now I have an amazing bestie who i'll be calling Star (they/them) for privacy, and we're working on getting them to the front.

And so here comes my main conundrum. After a while of me and Star just hanging around, I notice another presence in the head. I tried ignoring it for a bit, but eventually I tried calling out to them and they replied. After a little bit of talking, we figured out that they were called Hero (they/them), and that i'd accidentally made them by thinking about having another "brain friend", as we like to call ourselves.

Any advice for avoiding this kind of thing happening? As much as I love Hero and Star, it would get very full very quickly if this kind of accidental creation thingy keeps happening. And to clarify, i'm not mad at this "incident". We've all worked it out pretty quickly, and nobody is to blame. Sorry for the wall of text ask haha, but this is something we're curious about!

Hey! You came to the right place, cuz this is something we sort of experienced ourselves! It was super weird at first, and it took a while to convince my host that the newbie was actually there. So basically, this is a combination of two things- for one, roughly a third of tulpas (that're aware they're tulpas, ahdhsf I'll find the statistic link later) are unintentional, which means you go through the process of tulpa creation without actually realizing you're doing it. (This is kinda common in writers!) So it's definitely not an unheard of thing! The second part is that once you've made your first tulpa, you've already gone through a lot of the initial mental training it takes to make the jump to being polyconscious. It's a *lot* easier to make a second tulpa than the first. You spent so long thinking about them and wanting them around that they ended up here!

RE: getting a lot of people eventually, we don't exactly have a lotta control over that cuz we're also disordered, but we definitely have some tips if you're not comfortable expanding your system that shhoouuulldd work better if you don't have big dissociation and memory issues.

One, try to focus on what you have and avoid daydreaming about having new headmates. Try not to let yourself have consistent "characters" you imagine in situations, or what it might be like to have x fictive, or whatever- there's a saying that goes something like, "people are gonna think about a red truck if you tell em not to think about a red truck, but if you tell em to think about a purple bear instead of a red truck they're gonna have more success" or something like that. Focus on doing other things with the headmates you have instead.

Two, and this helps more with fictives for us, but if you feel a certain identity or set of emotions or perspectives or whatever is starting to get a bit intense and might gain autonomy, try associating those feelings or identity with yourself or another (consenting) headmate in the system as much as possible. Like oh that's so relatable or this character is so me, etc etc. Connect em with an identity that already exists if u can. Like for example, my host's trying to avoid a fictive coming from their past life lately by confronting and associating themselves with it as much as possible. That way the separation is eliminated before it can really take hold.

Three, if you feel the need to still ""do tulpamancy"" that isn't just living regular life with ur tulpas, try expanding your range of skills! Imposition is an awesome skill with practice, as well as things like headspace immersion, holding onto front as a non-host for a long time, and more. There're tons more heights you can reach!

Good luck, anon!

[iamthecomet]

It's hot here too, pool sounds fun! I spent most of Sunday at the lake floating around to cool off :)

I'm glad the library is chill and YAY GAY GRAPHIC NOVELS!!!

My day is meh. Tuesdays are my longest days class-wise. I have classes with very little break from 8am until 6pm, so they're really long days. I'm also just not really feeling super great today, dang chronic illness :( I'm looking forward to going back to my dorm, snuggling with my pupper, and maybe eating some dinner if I'm feeling up to it.

Other than class work, I've been hanging around on tumblr wayyy more than I have since like March (?) and I'm slowly trying to get back into talking to people on discord. The ghumblr server is a little much for me right now (way too many people, and I don't know most of them at this point), but the Sleep Token one is smaller still so I'm starting there.

I've started making some friends on campus this year too and have just generally been way happier than I've been in a very long time so that's been a nice change of pace (potentially the happiest I've ever been that I can remember). This time last year I was doing pretty bad mentally, so it's been kinda weird to go through the beginning of a college year in a good headspace.

It was so cold and rainy and miserable here that I didn't get to go into the pool at all in August. So, I'm really into the hot weather (for now, by tomorrow I'll be sick of it again).

I love floating around a lake though--honestly one of my favorite things. Tried to go kayaking/swimming yesterday but there was literally nowhere to park or unload the kayaks so we just...didn't do that. That's a super long day of classes. I'm sure it's exhausting. I hope it goes by quickly for you and you can get in bed and have a snack and have some pup cuddles. You deserve it. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I've been so happy to see you back on tumblr. I missed you while you were gone ♥. And I'm really happy to have you in my ask box again! The ghumblr can be overwhelming sometimes, and it has changed a LOT in the past few months so I totally get not starting there. It'll be there when and if you're ready. You have no idea how happy I am to hear that things are going well and you're in a good headspace and you're happier. That's so good. And new friends!? Even better. Honestly the hardest part of college is not the classwork, it's the people and dealing with your own bullshit in a way you've never had to before. So, I'm really glad that you are finding places where you fit, and that you are starting the year in such a good headspace!! You deserve to be happy and excited about where you are and what you're doing! ♥♥♥♥

[anendoandfriendo]

for the system ask game:

What's your name? How did you get it?

What kinda music do you like? Feel free to share a playlist if you have one!

Post a picture of how you look! (FC, Picrew, selfie, drawing, etc) [don't gotta though of course!]

Favorite ice cream flavor?

What's a silly fear you have?

-Inland Empire🟣

Context.

Oh god, I'm going to sound so boring now oops.

I'm Shuna. I'm literally a fictive and soulbond from somewhere in the multiverse where tensura (you might know it as "the slime anime" or "slimes" because of this blog) exists.

Haha, that's a good one. I don't know because there's many thing that exist in this world which don't in mine. I'm the one who took the initiative to go to the every noise site and our system in general tends towards more synthetic sounds and music without being too far at the top of that list.

Hm. Sure, I can do this! I think it would be very easy for you to find images of what I look like though, I don't think I've been here for long enough to diverge that much. I'll even use a screenshot from the anime I "come from" so to speak. :) Sorry for the shit quality, the original image did the weird tumblr thing and I wanted it larger. The one on the left if me before I met Rimuru of and the one on the right is how I look! Sometimes I do want to go back to the one on the left though — I hear that in systems you can actually play with that kind of stuff so I might try to shift my form in the headspace to see what I can get!

Uhm, all I've ever eaten has been the mint chip. I've heard of others though, chocolate chip isn't minty? I think strawberry might be fitting for me if I can get my hands on it. ×-×;;;

Silly fears...silly fears...that people might abandon me or that nobody in this system will be able to defend themselves for whatever is coming. I'm fully aware those things are up to luck and that we are perfectly capable of defending ourselves. Other than that I'm worried my brother won't like me and I'm not sure why,,,,????? we've always been through thick and thin together and him finding friends is great but I want to spend time with my remaining family. I'm being selfish with this one and maybe a bit overprotective,,,

That got a tad personal at the end so I might send in an ask as well, be prepared!! >:D

- Shuna

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Three Days

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

We say our goodbyes to Quincy and Rhys but a few minutes later they're ringing the doorbell.

Emmett opens the door.

I'm turned around backwards on the couch so I can see.

Quincy looks mad.

"Can we come in for a second?"

Since they lived here yesterday I don't see why not.

"Of course," Emmett tells them, stepping back to make room.

Rhys has his arms behind his back and is very upset.

He was mostly fine when we hugged good-bye but he's not now.

He's crying.

"What's wrong Rhys?"

Is it the tattoos?

He comes towards me and starts blubbering.

"I wrong and I sorry, Finn. I was bad but I liked it so much and I didn't means to."

What? What did he do?

He brings his hands forward and he has my Spiderman cup.

"That's my cup."

Quincy takes it from Rhys and hands it to me.

"Yes it is and I'm very sorry that Rhys was rude and took it."

He wipes the tear from Rhys cheek and tells him to.

"Give him the wand too."

He hands me one of the bubble wands.

They're mostly empty and I wouldn't mind him taking that.

"He can have that, I don't mind."

Quincy isn't having it.

"No. If he had asked I would let him have it if you were okay with it but he didn't, he took it, so now he's returning it." 

Then he says softly...

"If that comes home with us I'll spank and then fuck you with it." 

Oh, that was for Rhys.

Quincy does that thing where his body curses even if his mouth doesn't.

He's really mad now.

"Where are YOUR shoes, Rhys? Shit, sorry Emmett."

"Where?"

"Back door," he answers softly and Emmett goes to get them.

"Are you mad at me Finn?"

I don't wanna be but I am.

"Kinda, that's my night night cup and I only have one."

He looks surprised.

"You only has one? I have like ten."

"So why'd you take mine if you have a bunch?" I ask.

He kicks off Emmett's sandals and stares at his feet.

"Don't know. I sorry. Maybe if Quincy wouldn't catch me right away I'd get to see you again to give it back. I don't wanna go home."

Aww... he looks so sad.

I go around and give him a hug.

"I'm not mad anymore but Rhys, it's not nice to take things. It makes people sad."

"I didn't know, I sorry."

Emmett has brought his sandals over and he slips them on.

"Sorry Emmett."

"That's okay Rhys, this time. You won't do it again, will you?"

He looks up at him, wide-eyed.

"No. Promise."

"Good."

Quincy apologizes yet again.

"Sorry about that, I think that's all he has but I'll mail anything else I find. Rhys, that's three things so you know what that means."

Rhys gasps.

"Three days? No Quincy I die."

"You will not die. We need to get on the road guys, see you soon."

He and Emmett say something else I can't hear when they're just outside the door but he comes back over to me when they leave again.

"So what would you like to do this afternoon, Finnegan?"

"Don't know."

I'm in a weird mood.

The whole day has been odd and talk of the tattoo and house really pulled me out of headspace but I'm doing pretty good now.

"Something fun."

I don't know what though, really.

I kinda wanna do everything and nothing.

"I feel lazy."

"Same, honestly. I hate to not use our last day to the fullest but I'm sort of wiped out. Why don't we take the afternoon off and go do something this evening?"

That sounds perfect.

"Okay. Emmett. By the way... what's three things and three days?"

Rhys said he might die and I'm worried.

"Ah, well, since Rhys enjoys spankings so much, Quincy had to come up with a new punishment for stealing."

"Days?"

How is that a punishment?

"Yep, poor Rhys doesn't get to release for three days."

My mouth forms a huge... 'OH'.

"No."

Three days is a long time, specially when you're having lovies and yummies.

"I doubt he'll be stealing your stuff again, darling. So, it's Saturday night which means they'll probably have fireworks somewhere. Maybe we can do a picnic for dinner and watch the fireworks."

"Yes."

What I really need this afternoon is to wear nothing but some little undies around the house.

I strip right there in the living room and Emmett sits on the couch and beckons me over.

He puts on the ballgame and covers me up with the little blanket that's always draped over the arm of the couch.

I decide that I'm going to get what he owes me.

Time for an afternoon snack.

It's very easy to get to him and I don't bother asking because he promised.

"Finnegan... You... damn. Okay, go ahead babe."

[girltober]

Long gender ramble incoming!

Been reading through my old posts and like... damn. I feel like the OG Girl Month may have lowkey been the happiest period of my life so far?

I felt so genuinely self-confident and loved and appreciated by my friends and... idk. It was just really nice. I want to try to get back into that headspace.

And like the experience of doing gender in such a casual non-committal way was SO liberating. Girlmoding then vs girlmoding now feels like the difference between doodling for fun and doing a Serious Art Project.

Like I'm locked in now. I've come out to my family, gotten an official HRT prescription and I've made trans friends who might view me differently if I detransitioned (I mean I'd hope not but idk). I CAN still stop whenever I want but it'd be kinda a big deal and a bit embarrassing, and I'd want to walk a careful line with the way I talk about it to make it clear that just because it was a phase for *me* doesnt mean you should assume that about anyone else...

Anyway I'm not saying I necessarily WANT to quit at this point but... idk I'm just questioning shit. Turns out you can't actually speedrun your full gender self-discovery journey in a single month who knew.

I have still been enjoying being girlnamed and wearing dresses, but its been sort of tinged by the stress/pressure/imposter syndrone sometimes. Like the difference between saying you like to draw and introducing yourself as an artist. I'm also kinda exhausted by the constant girlupkeep, and the less I do it the less girly I feel. Shaving - face or body- being the main one thats been grating on me more and more, but also my long hair has gotten more annoying as summer rolls on.

Anyway a couple of assorted personal gender theories that may or may not be true idk

I'm trans, I've just been demoralised as my naivite has been slowly stripped away and I've started to truly grok the struggle that being trans longterm actually means- warring against your own body and society alike

I'm genderfluid or genderqueer, and I'm frustrating myself by trying too hard to just be a woman. I just need to go with the flow and take gender day by day

I'm not actually trans, I'm just Cis+ /a crossdresser - wearing dresses makes me feel happy and confident, but in a completely different way to trans stuff. (Counterpoint: is there a meaningful difference? If I'm AMAB and like wearing dresses and using a girlname and girlpronouns then whats the point in quibbling over definitions?) (Also, is this theory motivated by my demoralisation in point 1 and is merely my brain trying to "dodge the draft" of the trans experience?)

My mental health has just been kinda shitty for unrelated reasons and gender is just a scapegoat. I should stop going to bed at 2am and clean my room and see if that fixes anything.

I should literally stop thinking about my gender and just wear and be what feels good. My gender is Nunya.

Relevant discussion with a friend from early December:

Actually while I was finding those images in my camera roll I saw this and it actually is such a good representation of my current gender experience:

TLDR: My gender is currently solidly in the "it is what it is" sector and the cure is shifting that shit up and/or right lol.

Anyway shits weird but I'll work it out. Worst case scenario I quit HRT at my 3 month checkup with little to no harm done to my body (and hopefully a permanent buff to my nipple sensitivity) and can look back on this fondly as a fun phase I enjoyed. No shame in trying new experiences and deciding they're not for you, nor in being mistaken and working shit out. 💙💜💙🤍🖤🤍

[bonny-kookoo]

JJK: Fictional Happiness 7

In which Jungkook, youngest of Kpop Group and werewolf Pack BTS, finds his mate at his own concert; just to learn that reality is nothing like the movies - and that not everyone is blindly after him and his name.

Tags/warnings: werewolf! AU if it wasn't obvious already lol, angst, there's so much angst Jesus, romantic kook, kinda selfish kook though, shy!reader, anxiety, medication mention, therapy mention, panic attacks, idol!Jungkook, slow burn, strangers to eventual friends to lovers/mates, insecurities, bad habits, kind of tsundere! Jk, Impatient kook, alpha!kook, omega!Reader, swearing, reader doesn't like him a lot at first just as a heads up, realistic approach- meaning she won't just fall head first right away like nuh-uh we're wearing seatbelts on this ride yall, smut in future chapters

Additional Chapter Warnings: subdrop/omegadrop aka reader falls into a non-vocal headspace, nesting, mentions of past child neglect, Alpha!Jin lmao is that a warning

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He bravely invites you into his apartment after having returned from a week long trip with his bandmates.

He makes it clear that you don't have to, that he can just come over instead or that you both could just meet for coffee or don't meet at all- but you agree, and he's a mess right after he realizes you agree to not only coming over, but sleeping over.

His alpha is, for the first time, just as chaotic as he is.

He's stuck in a trance it seems as he's on his knees in the middle of the guest bed in a different room than where he sleeps, aware that he can't demand of you to sleep in the same bed as he does- but he also doesn't want to just let you sleep on the couch. No, he can't let you, you need a nest, even if it's just for one night and you leave in the morning. It doesn't matter, because this could be a good chance to impress you, to show you that he really meant it when he said he's gonna work hard to win you over.

An alpha making a nest is something rather rare. Usually, they will let omegas do it themselves, not wanting to subject themselves to their rather picky nature when it came to their resting spots. A nest is personal, it's something no one shows around like that, it's a place of comfort and security. And alphas typically just don't like to be told what to do-

Just like jungkook, technically.

But there he was now, adjusting pillows and making sure it smells fresh and clean, so you can be comfortable. Maybe he also secretly aims for praise, for you to be impressed and maybe so much so that you'll consider sleeping over again. He craves to hear you tell him how well he's done, he has to hear it from you because at this point, he couldn't care less about everyone else.

And then his phone chimes with a message, with your name, telling him you're almost there.

He grows frantic, jumping up to practically run to the drier to get the still warm blankets and smaller pillows out to place them on your makeshift nest in his home. He can't seem to be satisfied with his work though, chewing his lip as he keeps adjusting, keeps changing, just to be pulled out of it once the doorbell rings.

He closes the door, before he lets you in.

You greet him a little shyly, stepping out of your shoes as he tries hard not to let your scent overwhelm him. He's basically trembling at having you close to him again, after not seeing you for almost seven days straight. "So uhm, I'll- let me show you where stuff is." He says, leading you around to make sure you know the basic structure of his apartment, so you feel more at ease. He wants you to feel comfortable, after all.

But then he reaches that goddam door.

"And uh.. okay so, please don't think I'm weird, you don't have to, you know, use it, but uhm, yeah.." he says, suddenly extremely shy as you can't help but wonder what he's so insecure about. Only when he opens the door do you realize what he's done.

"Jungkook.." you mumble under your breath, walking in as your omega can't seem to take her eyes away from the sight. You can't either, walking close as you reach out to run your hand over one of the many blankets neatly folded close by, probably so you can put them where you want them to be. They're so soft, and warm, and it would've been already such a huge thing if that was all it was- if all he'd done was to put some stuff for you here, but this was so much more..

Intimate.

You can spot where he'd tucked the fabrics in, where he'd placed the pillows, different in size and neatly placed in places he saw fit. This wasn't just a place for you to spend the night in.

This was a nest.

For you.

The last time someone had done something similar for you was when you'd still been a mere child, your mother showing you how to properly prepare your resting spot so you could do it yourself in the future, your father never caring about it after your parents had separated and you stayed with him. You remember often crying at night as a kid, feeling unsafe and abandoned even with your father living in the same house as you. When you'd moved out very early, you'd never truly cared much about it anymore, practically abandoning your inner instincts to make one yourself. Another wolf making a nest, let alone a full on Alpha doing it was something most people referred to as something only found in cheesy romantic novels aimed at lovesick teenage girls. But this, you don't think that Jungkook knows what he'd done.

This was your first nest ever since you were 8.

"You, you don't have to use it-" He starts, and only now do you realize how you hadn't said anything about it yet. You turn around a little and he panics when he spots your glossy eyes, and smells your scent turning sharp like ice.

"I.." you start, voice careful. "Can I.. like, now?" You ask, and jungkooks eyes widen, nodding before he takes a step back.

"I- I'll leave you to it? Like, I'll give you space, I uhm.. I'll make us some food, you.. you do your thing, yes!" He says, before walking out the room, your scent overwhelming him a little as he closes the door behind him. His instinct is to text his Packleader straight away, at loss with the situation as he messages him in desperation. Did you like it? Did you not? He was unsure what your reaction meant.

'Jungkook you idiot, get back in there asap, she's probably close to dropping!' His pack alpha had told him, and his eyes had widened. How could he be so stupid? Making you drop here was such a shifty thing to do, he should've asked you first if you would be okay with him doing something for you. Oh God, you probably hated him right now-!

He carefully opens the door again, attempting to ask if you wanted him to bring you home or maybe an omega manager of his, but he's hit with your form curled up on the nest, face pressed against one of the pillows as you silently cry. "Y/n.?" He asks carefully, not wanting to startle you especially if you really were dropping.

And then you look up a little, so vulnerable, and start to speak. "I'm.. sorry, I didn't mean to get emotional like this.."you say. "I'll get myself together, oh God this is so embarrassing.."you mumble, burying your face again as he walks closer. He squats down in front of you, carefully reaching to do the best thing he can think of; running a hand over your head.

"You're not doing anything embarrassing." He says, and you shake your head.

"I am! I should be thanking you for doing something so nice and yet I'm crying like a baby over it.." you say, and he tries to reassure you.

"Its fine, I should've asked you first if you were okay with something like this anyways." He says. "I'm sorry, it's me who fucked up. Do you want to go home?" He asks. "I won't be mad, promise-" he begins, but you curl up even further. "Please let me help, I don't want to see you so upset." He says, pleads almost.

He can't help the way his heart clenches at the sight of you so distressed.

"I.." you start. "I- know this may sound weird but like.." you mumble. "I know you wanted to see a movie and all that but like," you begin, not looking at him as you hide your face, talking into the pillows below.

"Can you hold me?"

He'd be a fool not to take that chance- but he hesitates.

"Is that- okay?" He asks. "Like, maybe we should get you home instead, I don't want you to feel like you have to be here-" He says, your slow change in scent running straight past him. He's unsure what he should do, for the first time getting proof of why he's always called a show-off. When it came to moments like these he was helpless.

He's grabbing his phone again, this time calling as he grows increasingly worried about you. "Hyung?" He asks, and his bandmate answers him. "I couldn't get a hold of Namjoon-hyung, so you're my best bet." He begins, walking a bit further away but you're immediately whining, so he stays where he is. "I- I have my gir over, like, my friend, you know who I mean-" he rambles, and explains the situation. How he made a nest and how you reacted and how namjoon said you're probably dropping.

"Is she still talking to you?" Seokjin on the other end asks, voice calm as he tries to get more info.

"I, a moment ago she did, asked me to hole her but I'm not sure if I should, so I suggested bringing her home." He explains. "Now shes stopped talking." He says worriedly.

"Jesus Jungkook, you can't just reject her like that I thought she was your mate!" His oldest bandmate scolds him.

"I didn't reject her, I was-.. I don't know but I didn't reject her!" He argues, well aware that Jin was right. "What do I do now, just help me?" He whines, as your scent becomes increasingly difficult to stand.

"Well I know you won't like this, but I'm coming over." He says sternly. "I can't help you on the phone like this." He says.

"No, just tell me what I should do-" jungkook argues, tone of voice extremely hostile suddenly at the prospect of someone else seeing you like this.

"Jungkook no, you clearly can't handle the situation and from what I can hear in the background she's clearly more than just a little distressed." He says. "I'm coming over, and you better let me in." He finishes, alpha tone clear in his voice as he hangs up.

And jungkook is left in your room, helpless as you whine and cry, having completely fallen into your omegaspace.

And jungkook feels horrible.

[failedintsave]

Skwistok for the ask meme please 🦅🎸🐇

@little-murmaider a lot of these answers are going to be the same as yours, because we're both very smart and correct 🤝 I'm just going to elaborate on them differently and I'm a bit long winded so I'm also going to throw it all under a cut

[OTP ask meme]

Which one of them sexts like a straight white boy?

So I think this probably depends since I don't see either of them spending much effort on this and Toki probably devolves into knock knock jokes (knock knock, who ams dere, Toki, Toki who, *dick pic*, 6/10, 😡) but I have a smutfic rotting away in my drafts that kicks off with drunk Skwisgaar basically sending a 'u up?' text while Toki is out with Abigail:

Nothing screamed 'pay attention to me!' like a string of eggplant emoji followed by sending his location. Toki turned his phone screen side down and ignored the buzzing vibrations of incoming messages until Abigail excused herself to the restroom, finally deigning to reply once he was alone.

SS: When u coming hoommee

TW: Oh you want to hang out with me now? Sorry I having a real good time out with Abigail right now, sucks for you

SS: But I'm lonely

TW: Am you lonely or horny

SS: I can be 2 thing

Toki chuckled, that definitely meant horny.

I'll finish it one of these days. Probably.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?

Ok prefacing this with the fact that we're not gonna talk about Bruno Encanto because I will cry. Toki prefers the princess movies and loves to sing along, he gets more wrapped up in the magic and the color and less into the emotional beats, not a big crier in these cases. Skwisgaar tends to get trembly lipped over the animal-centric films. Lion King hit hard, in no small part due to the score. Fox and the Hound...I feel like that's enough said. Bambi also left him in a bit of a weird headspace he couldn't quite identify but still needed to be held after.

Not Disney, but they also never made it all the way through Homeward Bound as Skwisgaar was inconsolable over Shadow in the mud pit and couldn't continue. He's an emotional guy!

Neither of them can handle Don Bluth.

Who put a goddamn fork in the microwave?

Toki thought he should stir the lunchables halfway through heating and forgot to take the fork out. Skwisgaar prefers food reheated in the oven to prevent mushiness and has ruined many a plastic storage container.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?

100% Toki. He doesn't even try to disguise his voice, it takes all his willpower not to break down into giggles. Sometimes Skwisgaar will play along and make silly guesses, other times he'll say something to tease Toki back.

Who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon?

If Wicked Tuna is on the TV they are both powerless to change the channel, and neither of them understands why, but Toki loses his mind over the core samples. Once they break free of their television hypnosis they almost always have to go for sushi. Nathan tried to convert them to Deadliest Catch but it didn't take.

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?

Skwisgaar, but Toki really doesn't mind. He runs hot naturally so Skwisgaar tucking his feet under Toki's legs on the couch or slipping his icy hands under his shirt actually feels kinda nice after the initial shock. What more can you ask for in a relationship than symbiotic thermoregulation?

Who laughs more during sex?

Toki, he laughs any time there's a weird noise or a position isn't quite working because Someone has Unnaturally Gangly Limbs, plus he's fairly ticklish once he gets into a goofy mindset. It's also a 50/50 chance that if Skwisgaar starts talking dirty Toki is either Very Into It or cannot take it seriously at all.

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?

Little Spoon Skwisgaar is just a fact. It makes him feel safe and cared for and wanted in a way that other types of physical contact just don't quite reach, and Toki is a hugger so he likes to wrap him up tight and feel him relax into the embrace. Bonus because from this position Toki has easy access to kiss the nape of Skwisgaar's neck, which is one of the spots that makes him completely melt.

[systemquirks]

we're the same anon from the camera thing. heres a list of other shit that goes on in here

the body is a member of our sys. they're our gatekeeper. but anyway, when we first found them, they insisted they weren't a member. but not in the usual way? more like "yes i'm conscious but i'm not a headmate i'm literally the body". and now, they're whole shtick is that "front is an extension of the physical body, and i'm an extension of front." because of that they're a little goopy lad that materializes whenever. they're always in front/always listening ig.

our headspace/frontroom if fucking complicated. like what the hell. its all connected too like what (i'll talk about why later)

we're a comb system

our adhd directly affects our system its fucking weird. like, we described it once as a bunch of sticks of butter in a pan and they're all half melted. distinct people, but kinda melty and sticking together.

when someone is fully in front, they experience the symptoms of. everything we have. even if they dont have those conditions in headspace. (this usually ends up with the headmate not fully in front like "just do ur work!!!!!". that situation has happened way too many times.)

also! being in the front room doesn't mean directly fronting. it depends on how close you are to the ledge. (the ledge is where you sit on when you front. yes we've fallen down there many times. fun fact old headspace is down there)

okayyy headspace time. our headspace used to change on its own but then the algebrailens formed. (they're fictives of algebrailens from bfdi) they have the ability to just fuck around and change headspace entirely. and front too. the body is usually the one to keep it all in check.

we have system resets often *explodes*

yaya systems yehaw

Woo! What a long list!

That sounds like how Rice used to feel sometimes, at least a little. We're all glad she sorted out that she's an alter for us! It's interesting to hear someone else who's experienced "I am literally The Body"

Our innerworld is also incredibly complicated, at least if we try to put it into real world terminology. It can be hard to explain "We have infinite rooms that exist in a compressed linear space" haha

"Comb System" sounds similar to some other systems I've spoken to! I personally don't struggle with such high dissociative barriers - lucky me! That sounds difficult to handle (if I'm interpreting it right?)

Our autism pairs horribly with our system. You mean I already struggle with time blindness and repeating myself constantly, and now I get that x2? Joy.

Same here, though we experience those symptoms differently between us. I have issues with sound, whereas Debra hyperfixates like NO ONES business.

The ledge idea is just like how our system functioned back in the day! Whoever was in the innermost fronting circle was fronting, and when people started to switch in, they had to travel on the circles.

Headspace stuff is always so interesting to me! We're not the best at changing our headspace consciously - it just happens around us, typically with new splits or new needed areas.

I've actually never been super clear on what system resets actually are. It's not anything I have any experience with. I certainly wish you the best however!

[syubub]

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜