#this is a joke lowl…

[worldsewage]

Done drawing forever… someone draw my characters for me,,,

[coupsie-daisies]

Kinktober '23: Mutual Masturbation | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Afab GN!Reader

Genre: Smut (minors DO NOT interact), Kinktober 2023

Summary: Your boyfriend overhears you joking with your friends that men don't seem invested in pleasing their partners. He's determined to learn exactly how you like to be taken care of.

WC: 2k

Warnings: Unprotected sex (have fun, be safe), mutual masturbation, squirting, breeding kink, use of petnames for reader (baby, pretty), mention of potentially passing out near the end

A'N: Sorry that this took so long, but hopefully we'll be back at it soon here! Enjoy

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @wooyussy // @burningupp-replies // @bunnypig18 // @decaffedthoughts // @brownieracha / @ferrethyun // @snow-pegasus // @walkxthexmoon // @aesteraceae // @wonuqrtz // @mixling-blog // @wonwooz1

Main Masterlist

Kinktober '23 Masterlist

This fanfiction is property of @/coupsie-daisies, reposting on any other platform is prohibited

It had really just been a stupid conversation between friends, a silly little comment you'd made about how men always seemed to have such a hard time pinpointing what their partners liked, as if they were too concerned with themselves to put in that much effort. You hadn't anticipated Chan overheating it, let alone the confrontation that would come afterwards.

"Do I make you feel good?" He asked one night over take out. You gave him a look, not entirely sure what he was talking about or what had prompted it.

"What? Make me feel good?" You asked, taking a bite of your egg roll. He nodded with a firm, serious look on his face.

"Yeah. I heard you talking when your friends were over. And you said men never learn how to make their partners feel good. Do I make you feel good? Or is there something I should learn?"

He didn't sound angry, but the intensity in his demeanor was enough to tell you that he was being completely serious. You put down your food, turning to face him.

"Channie, if this is about you being insecure or anything, you don't need to. Im very satisfied, don't worry about that," You told him carefully. "it was really just a joke, I was just having a chat with the girls, and Chaer had been complaining about the guy shed been seeing."

Chan shook his head. "No that's not what it is, not exactly. Im not worried, I know I can take care of you. But if I can take care of you better, I wanna know. I wanna take care of you the way you do."

"Okay?" You asked, motioning for him to go on.

"So I want you to teach me." He said.

"Teach you?"

"Teach me how to make you cum. Show me how you like to be fucked."

The words set your entire body on fire, heat searing straight to your core. Your food was forgotten as you tried to wrap your head around the request from your boyfriend.

"You want me to...touch myself for you?" You asked. Chan had never been overly possessive or anything, but he was always determined to make you feel good on his own. And he was certainly good at it, you had never been let down. 

"Will you? If you're comfortable with that."

"Yeah. Yeah I can try."

Which was how you ended up propped against a pile of pillows in your shared room, spread out on the bed while Chan sat in his gaming chair at the end of the bed. It was the hundredth time he'd seen you naked, but something about it felt so much more exposed. You had stripped down, but he was still completely clothed, insistent that this wasn't about him.

"Do I just..."

"Do what you'd normally do. What you do when I'm not around to play with you." He said. You nodded, closing your eyes and trying not to be hyper aware of the eyes on you.

You started slow, your fingertips running up your stomach, over the curve of your chest and back down again, dragging your dull nails over your skin and humming at the feeling. It was nice, just giving yourself the attention. You brought one hand up, letting it dance along your collarbone, over the sensitive spots on your neck while the other flicked and toyed with your nipple. You whined lowly, basking in the light shocks sent through you at the soft tugs.

You could hear Chan, hear the way that his breath caught when you made any sort of noise, and you imagined that he was making mental notes of every spot that earned the tiniest squirms or hums of approval. He was reading you like a book, memorizing your body like it was the most important thing he'd ever learned.

The hand not occupied with your nipples slid down, teasing over your waist, along your hip. Working closer and closer to the heat between your legs that was begging for your attention. But it never strayed that far, following the path over your thighs, scratching at the sensitive skin there and making you purr.

"So pretty," Chan mumbled, and you weren't sure if you were meant to hear. You probably wouldn't have if it wasn't for the fact that your ears were already straining for signs of his presence. You moaned quietly in return, letting your legs spread open and teasing your hand higher, tracing the seam where your thigh met your crotch, brushing ever so lightly against your lower lips. You huffed out a quiet breath at your own teasing. But you knew you had to work yourself up first or you'd be chasing an orgasm that wasn't interested in being caught.

Finally you let your fingers dip through the pool of arousal you'd worked up. You arched a little from the bed, a hiss of relief coming from your lips at finally getting some friction. You spread the wetness up to your clit, brushing against the bundle of nerves just a little before slipping your fingers lower again to gather more of it. You repeated the process until the movement was smooth, easy, and you were battling the urge to give in too quickly.

So you did, rubbing tight circles around your clit, a pretty sigh coming from your lips as you chased the feeling of your fingers, strumming the nerves just right. You heard the chair as Chan shifted, a stifled groan that you just knew it was because of him biting down on his lip.

You slid your other hand down, sliding a finger into your desperately empty hole and then another quickly after, unsatisfied with your own touch after giving in to Chan's so often. Once you were pushed even further into desperation by one finger, you added a second, scissoring yourself open for him and trying to push them even deeper. His fingers filled you up better, they could reach spots yours couldn't. You whined loud and very much not content with your situation.

"Channie, please. Can't do it myself." You pouted, opening your eyes to look at him. The sight in front of you was breathtaking, Chan sitting back with his shirt hiked up to show off the solid muscle of his stomach, and his pants pushed down just low enough for him to have pulled his cock out. His hand was wrapped firmly around the base and he was rock hard, the tip of his dick was a pretty, dark shade of pink and leaking precum that trailed down along the heavy vein that ran up his length. Your hips rocked upwards into your hand, wanting him inside of you so badly that it was downright painful. "Can't make myself cum. Please, need you to do it. Want it so bad."

He groaned, biting down on his lip in an attempt to keep his focus from faltering as he watched you fingering yourself. Your hand against your clit had stalled, just putting pressure on the nub as your hips rolled against your fingers. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry, baby. Can't help, need to see how you do it. Gotta get it right." He said, brows furrowed in either concentration or pleasure, and you didn't try to figure out which it was because he was jerking himself off now, slow and steady in hard strokes. You needed to be the one wrapped around him, you needed to feel him fuck you just like that.

"Channie, I can't. Can't make myself cum as good as you can. Needs to be you, baby please. Please, it hurts. Just want you to fuck me, don't wanna try anymore. Need it to be you." You were on the verge of tears now, desperate and so worked up that you thought you might actually explode. You just needed him to take care of you. Besides, if he wanted to know what made you feel best, he'd have to be fucking you anyways. Nothing new that you could teach him.

You heard a stuttered moan, and he was squeezing the base of his cock so hard that you could only imagine it hurt.

"Can't say things like that, pretty." He muttered, already getting up and shedding his clothes like they burned him. "Beg so pretty for me, gotta take care of my baby. You tried so hard, didn't you? Just couldn't do it."

He climbed onto the bed and knocked your hand away from your dripping pussy. You quickly obliged, letting him take over. Two of his fingers dipped easily into your warmth, curling and twisting and making you moan his name so loud that you were sure to have a noise complaint in the morning. He hummed appreciatively.

"Feel better, baby? Giving you what you need?" He asked, and you shook your head, gripping at his wrist.

"Want your cock. Please, want you to fuck me. Fill me up." You said, giving him the most persuasive eyes that you could manage. He sighed out, eyes closing for a second and you could see them roll back under his eyelids, trying to keep himself in check. He always had the philosophy that you would cum at least once before he did, always the gentleman even when he was fucking you dumb. You were determined, it seemed, to test him on that today.

"So needy. Just for me. My greedy baby. Always need me to dick you down. Want me to breed you too, you always do." He was practically talking to himself as he lined himself up and slid into you. You whimpered, pure relief shocking through your body. You nodded, hands grabbing at his waist, tugging him closer and forcing his cock impossibly deep.

"Yeah, need your cock." You agreed quickly, already rocking up to meet his hips. Any coherent thought you'd had the entire time was gone now, just chasing the sweet feeling of his hips clashing against yours in hard, hurried thrusts as both of you lost your self control.

"Look how fucking perfectly you take it." His hands pushing your thighs up to your chest, exposing the way your pussy sucked him in for him to admire. "Gonna fill you up so good. Stuff you full of cum just the way you like it. My pretty baby. Come on, cum on my dick. I know you want it, been so good. Playing with yourself for Channie. So fucking-"

His words cut off abruptly as your walls clamped down around him hard enough to have his pace slowing. Your surprised cry hurt your throat as you came, juices gushing around him and wetting the bed underneath you. He didn't last a second longer, spilling inside of you and flicking at your clit to push you through the last few spasms of pleasure that rocked you.

"Can't believe it," He breathed out, hands moving to caress your quivering thighs. "You squirted. God, you're so perfect, didn't even know you could do that."

You giggled, body feeling warm and heavy and only grounded by the feeling of Chan touching you ever so gently. You blinked a few times, looking up at him and revelling in the look of pure amazement and adoration on his face.

"Didn't know I could do that either." You said. You watched him for a moment longer, the way he touched you like you were the most beautiful thing to ever grace his presence, and then he stopped.

"Gotta do it again, baby. Gotta learn how to make you do it every time. Gotta practice."

You whined at the thought, knowing how your boyfriend got when he set his mind to something. He was going to keep you up all night at this rate, and you'd be lucky if you didn't pass out by morning.

copyright 2023 coupsie-daisies, all rights reserved

[admiringlove]

v; mission compromised.

summary. secrets are meant to be kept hidden away from the world. even if they could cause the greatest betrayal in history. accidents happen, and the one person you didn’t want to get involved gets to know these secrets very well in the midst. 

pairing. kaeya alberich x gn! reader.

warnings. angst; wounds; major in-game/story spoilers.

word count. 5.2k.

navigation. previous, masterlist, next.

author’s note. you know how there’s a specific idea that you think of that is the origin of fic? this chapter is that chapter and i’m so excited to finally share it with you all!! well, it has that certain event that i planned the plot for so yeah >.< 

You're getting dressed to head to Headquarters when the night from a few weeks ago flashes by in your mind. 

Your reflection stares back at you in the mirror, abruptly stopped as it finds itself lost in thought. You were happy that the morning after the... eventful evening was just a cluelessly hungover Kaeya asking you what happened the night before. Some flirtatious jokes were thrown here and there, and he'd left soon after.

You could've sworn you let out the biggest sigh when you closed the door that morning. 

(Maybe some part of you wanted him to come back and leave a lingering kiss on your lips as you waved him goodbye at your doorstep. That part of you was also a complete lovesick fool.)

Now that it's been a few weeks, your wounds had mostly healed. Almost everything except your shoulder was okay, a bit of soreness and pain still remained(along with those nasty scars) but you made sure to go to the Church to get it checked by Barbara once or twice. A letter you'd written the day you got back from the mission sits on your desk, staring back at you as if it was mocking you. You sigh, snatching it off and shoving it in the inner pocket of your long-coat. 

(You'd been contemplating whether you should send it or not. Maybe you would today. Or tomorrow. Or never.)

You patted down your wine-colored coat, making sure to buckle on your vision next to your sheathed sword before you slipped on your boots and left your home. Your missions restarted from today(Jean had made sure that you didn't go out of your home for some time, making you do all of the paperwork instead). You nodded to a few citizens as a way of greeting them, breathing in the morning Monstadt air. Morning dew and freshly mown grass seemed to have a peculiar scent in the city, bringing a pep in your step whenever you were near it. You walk up the marble stairs towards the Favonius Headquarters when you spot Kaeya, waiting by the railing as he stares off into nothingness. Raising an eyebrow, you walk up next to him and poke his shoulder, "Hey, you."

"Pleasant morning, isn't it?" he mumbles as if lost in thought. You look at him with your eyes narrowed as he continues to stand there for some fifteen seconds or so. He then turns around abruptly, and says, "Come on, we have a new mission today. Patrolling Wolvendom, I think. Pretty easy."

You pause for a split second, furrowing your brows as you walk alongside him. There's something on his mind. His eyebrows twitch in the way they do when he's deeply thinking about something, the way he chews on his lip when he's confused or agitated, and the fiddling of his gloved hands and strands of hair—perhaps he's thinking of that night? You almost gasp as he stands there, opening the doors of the building for you. 

"What's gotten into you today? Get in," he smirks. And you almost let out a heavy breath as you follow him into Jean's office(and you mutter a few curses under your breath as well, to which his response were snickers). Jean stands there with Albedo, the Chief Alchemist, with whom she seemingly is discussing something serious. You purse your lips as you say, "Is something wrong?" 

Their attention now turns to you and Kaeya, as Jean sighs, "It's Klee."

"What?"

"She went to Wolvendom alone. Hasn't come back yet. I came from Dragonspine as fast as I could when Sucrose told me," Albedo says lowly. The atmosphere in the room seems helpless until Kaeya says, "Well, weren't me and [Y/N] supposed to go there anyway? Why don't we look for her as we patrol the area? She’s probably with Razor or something but we can bring her back by tomorrow morning at most."

"That's.. not a bad idea," you add. Jean nods as she picks up a few documents from her desk and scans them as she says, "It would also save us the trouble of sending more troops out since we're short on that right now."

"Well. Looks like we’re heading out then."

"I haven't been here in ages," you effuse, looking out to the trees as you uneven grass beneath your feet. Your eyes almost hold a glimmer, as Kaeya notes. The wind is slow, but still enough that it makes your hairs push away from your face.

The journey so far hasn't been that rough. The two of you have almost patrolled all of Wolvendom, and are heading back towards the inner areas. Other than the fact that the terrain was a little irregular, the wind was faster than in other places in Monstadt, and that you two came across a few monsters here and there—everything seemed to be going pretty well. You’d crossed Boar Bell, and almost nearing a landmark.

"Wait," Kaeya mumbles, grabbing onto your arm as he points some elemental traces out to you. You crouch down to the ground, examining it as you say, "It's going towards the Wolf of The North."

"Let's follow it then," he says without a hitch, walking ahead. You follow him, grass crunching underneath your feet as you jog to catch up. You couldn't quite put your finger on why, but the atmosphere was thicker than usual. Your eyes scan your surroundings for any signs of Klee, which is when you spot them, "Look. Over there."

By the leafless trees and wolfhook plants sat Klee, and next to her was Razor—tying something on her knee as she pouted up at him. A few sage-colored bushes surrounded them, overgrown grass reaching up to Klee's neck as she sat and pulled on them while talking to Razor. Her backpack was discarded to the side as Razor sat next to her after tending to her knee. Just then, her bright rouge eyes land on Kaeya as she yells, "Brother Kaeya!"

Kaeya breaks out into a grin as the two of you approach them. He kneels next to her as you turn to Razor and ask him what happened.

"Klee came for Wolfhook last night... dropped bomb accidentally. Knee hurt. Was changing bandage," he mumbles as he points to her knee. You chuckle lightly, then looking over at Kaeya who now has Klee pulling at his long hair strands and giggling.

"I've gotten loads of Wolfhook berries!" she says, opening her bag as she shows them to you, "Lisa said she'll make me something with these."

"I bet she will," you nod along.

You look up at the now-setting sun. It’s much too late to set off back to the city. You’d rather not risk a one-man battle against whatever monsters you’d come upon in the dark. With Klee's injured knee, one of you would have to carry her back. You state, "Let's make camp tonight. We'll get back first thing in the morning, how does that sound?"

"More time with Razor!" exclaims Klee, eyes lit up with excitement as she holds out a hand to high-five Razor, who gives her a small grin in return as he returns the high-five.

Not much had to be done, just a small campfire with a few pieces of wood from the thin trees already present had to be made and sleeping rolls had to be laid. Klee had her own, along with yours and Kaeya's. Both the Knights and the Guild have Mona confirm the weather reports for a week every Sunday morning, and she's seldom wrong. Clear skies were a guarantee for the next few days, thus preventing you from huddling together under a tree with nothing to keep you warm.

(Not that you'd mind huddling in with Kaeya—but this was not the time for that.)

Night falls pretty quickly. Dinner is over quickly too, with a very homey feeling washing over you as you listen to and watch Klee interact with the three of you as she eats a few skewers.

"Brother Kaeya makes really good food! Hmm, maybe I should go fish-blasting with him sometimes. Then we could eat grilled fish!"

"[Y/N], will you come with me the next time I decide to go treasure-hunting? I promise it'll be fun!"

"Razor lets me play with his hair. It's really thick! I wish my hair were long and thick too!"

After finishing up supper, you speak up, "You all head to sleep. I'll take the night’s watch."

You hand Razor your sleeping roll, and he thanks you with a small nod before getting in. Klee hugs you good night, then placing her hat as her pillow as she slips in, hugging her plush toy(Dodoco, as his name was) as she closed her eyes.

Kaeya takes some more time than the others. He, surprisingly, fashions his fur coat into a pillow again. And he sleeps with his boots on, just in case he had to ready himself for battle in the middle of the night. He complains about it, saying how uncomfortable it is and whatnot as you snicker at him. Feeling your eyes on him, he locks his straight with yours, giving you what you can only assume is a wink. You scoff, looking away as you say, "Good night, Kaeya."

"Good night, Captain," is what you get in response from him in a teasing tone before it goes quiet.

(You hate to admit it, but even that makes you blush.)

A few hours go by in an unremitting way. It feels like most monsters are scared of going near the Wolf of the North at night, and most animals are driven away by the fire. You idle away the hours by stoking the fire, getting up around twice to get more wood even though it's fresh. The popping noise coming from the flames makes Razor flinch in his sleep, and it makes you grimace to watch.

A sound makes you wince. Your hand quickly reaches out for your sword as you turn to look at who it could possibly be, only to find Kaeya wide awake as he slips out of bed.

"Kaeya?" your voice is barely a whisper. But with the deadly silent night and the crackling of flames, he hears you. Looking up, his eyes are wide and lips parted as if he were caught doing something he shouldn't be. He lets out a sigh before he rolls up his sleeping bag and packs it. He then sits next to you, hugging his knees to his chest and holding that position by keeping his hands together near his feet. 

You give a sympathetic look, "What happened?"

"Couldn't sleep," he says breathily, "I've been getting nightmares again after we went to the bar that night."

Your eyes soften with understanding as he lays his head on your shoulder. He stares into the flames, the way his eyes reflect off them scares you just a tiny bit, but you let it go as you ask, "Are they worse this time? Compared to when Master Crepus passed away?"

"No," he lets out a shaky breath as he pauses, "But they still manage to wake me."

You hum as you find time becoming more still by the second. You don't blame it for passing by slowly anymore. It feels nice this way, and you almost thank the Archons for it. Kaeya's head on the crook of your neck, your hand around his torso, the warmth radiating from the flame brings a feeling you've felt before but couldn't put a word to it—you can't describe it in any other way but it's comforting. You break out of your little daydream when he says your name, "[Y/N]?"

"Yes?"

"Will you tell me what really happened that night?" he says. Your eyes widen as he slides himself oh-so-casually into your lap. His hair is a mess as usual, but even more this time. He takes off the eyepatch and tosses it to the side as he grunts, shifting into a comfortable position as his eyes now stare into yours. He smiles knowingly as you try to muster up words to say, and yet again, you hate time for being so extensively slow.

"I-I'm sorry if-"

"Don't apologize," he chuckles as his hand reaches up to your cheek, fingers slowly caressing your skin. It feels foolishly therapeutic, the way his hand is colder than your skin but you still lean into his touch. He gives you a tender smirk(well, you're not sure if it's a smirk or a smile), "You forgot that I remember mostly everything even when I'm drunk, didn't you?"

You jeer, "I hate that habit of yours."

"Well, you should've known by the way I confronted you about Master Diluc," he divulged. Now that you think about it, he's right. He'd confronted you about Diluc just the day before all of you-know-what happened. He was completely drunk when Diluc brought him in, and he still remembered the things you'd said to the claymore wielder and how you'd comforted him. You sigh, "I really should have. Guess it slipped my mind."

"Guess it did," he breaks out a chuckle, soothing stillness falling over the two of you as the sound of crickets chirping and the crackling of the fire is the only thing that remains. You find yourself leaning down to him, back arching as you inch closer and closer without knowing you really are. It's like he's the Intelligence Captain instead of you—knowing exactly where to infiltrate your mind and heart and doing it with such stealth that you don't even notice. 

A snore cuts you out of your daze, and you swiftly look over to the noise—which came from Razor. A sigh escapes your lips in exasperation as you look over to the two sleeping people. Klee's holding onto Dodoco tightly, even in her sleep, as she almost rolls off her sleeping bag. Razor's tucked in completely, not moving an inch as he sleeps, but letting out small snores ever-so-often. The sky is a lighter shade of blue now, meaning that the sun will probably rise in less than an hour.

Kaeya tsks, reaching for you once more as he says, "They're sleeping. No monster is going to come out right now and eat them. Plus, Razor knows how to fight."

"Of course not," you give him a toothy simper. A wave of confidence washes over you; maybe it's the tension-filled atmosphere or the fact that Kaeya does know that he kissed you, but it sure does feel immeasurable right now. It's like the burst of flavor in the first sip of your morning tea—the milk and ginger giving a strong yet calming flavor to your taste buds and throat. You bend down, the chilly Wolvendom air making its appearance yet again as the sun makes its first appearance behind you, and press your lips to Kaeya's forehead. He's taken aback by your actions, and you pull away and mutter as your foreheads clash with one another, "Come on, Captain. We've got to get back to the city now."

It's around four in the evening when the two of you finally reach the city with Klee hanging off Kaeya's back. You carry her bag with one hand as you walk into the Headquarters, Klee jumping off Kaeya's back and running towards Albedo and Jean to greet them almost immediately. Happy grins are everywhere, even on Kaeya's lips as you tell them you're heading into your office to settle out a few documents. Klee asks if you'll go treasure hunting with her as you're stepping out, and you tell her you will with a smile(which results in joyful hops with her hands in the air as she says "yay!").

Jogging up the stairs, the only thing clouding your mind is the letter on the inner pocket of your coat. It scares you. You didn't know what to do with it. Even though you'd been the one to write it, you hated that it bothered you so much. The wax seal, the envelope, the contents inside—if anyone, Kaeya, ever came to find out about it, then your worst nightmares would come true. 

You walk into your office, a Knight greeting you at your doorstep as you do. You nod at him with a smile, placing your sword in the weapon rack off to the side as you make a beeline for your desk. You unbutton your coat, taking the envelope out and you eye it as if it were your enemy. A galling sigh escapes your lips as you open the third drawer from the top on the side of your desk, placing the envelope underneath a few other letters but not under everything. Just in case someone snoops in. 

"Hey," a cheery voice snaps your neck to look at the doorstep, at which Kaeya stands right in front of you. You slam the drawer close a little too harshly than you’d originally wanted to, grimacing as you respond with the same, "Hey."

Kaeya raises an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor but doesn't question it(which you're thankful for). He then asks, "Up for drinks tomorrow night? I would go tonight but I'm exhausted and my neck hurts from sleeping in the mat."

"Sure," you nod, "I'll see you tomorrow then. I just have a few files to fill out before I head home."

"Need any help?" he asks teasingly, lips curled up in one side. You roll your eyes, and as you do, they befall to the key of the lock of your desk—which sits atop a few parchments shiningly, waiting for you to twist it into the drawer. You're mentally relieved as you pick it up as you make conversation with Kaeya, "I think I'm too tired for your antics at the moment."

"You weren't so tired in Wolvendom, though," he says, the lilt in his voice back at it again to poke fun at you. You're teetering back and forth between if you should maybe tell him everything. But the possibility of every single layer of trust, care, faith, confidence, and almost all else ripping apart one by one is at stake. Your fingers fiddle with the small golden key, as your chest gets heavier and your mind gets clogged.

"Kaeya, I think I need to tell you something," you say, your tone turning over to a serious one. He tilts his head, noticing the change as he replies, "I'm sure we can discuss it over drinks. It'll help to get it off your chest. Tomorrow night, then?"

You nod, giving him a smile. He walks away, mind running speedily. He doesn't understand your sudden turnover in behavior. It was odd—and something seemed discerning about your expression. The way you closed the drawer as Kaeya stepped into the room, a sudden look of fear splayed on your face before you changed it to a curt nod with a half-broken smile. The cogwheels in his mind turn at a rapid pace now, eager to hear your thoughts tomorrow. 

(What if that drawer was the reason you were stressed?)

You did close it kind of abruptly. Your demeanor was fine when you were downstairs with everyone else, and it only changed after you came to your office. Your lips were pursed, your breathing was heavier(this could just be because of the journey back, but he still accounts it), your eyes held a certain fear in them. 

Wait, he stops in his steps in the corridor. He noticed something about your eyes when the two of you went on that reconnaissance mission. They were somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

That's when you step out of your office. Kaeya's orbs widen, as he quickly slips into his own office(which was conveniently only a few steps away) and closes the door. He walks over to the bookshelves, pretending to look for something. His nimble fingers glide along the spines of the thick tomes, and as your footsteps fade, he walks closer and closer to the door, peeping out slightly to see your receding self. You're walking down the stairs now, your back facing towards him as you continue to walk away. He lets out a sigh of relief as he strolls back deliberately towards your office. He gives the guard a nod before walking in, and he makes a beeline to your desk.

The drawer. Which one was it, anyway?

He groans, pulling on all four of the handles, but failing to open any. Of course, you wouldn't just leave them unlocked like that, you were smarter than that. You weren't the Intelligence Captain for nothing, after all.

But Kaeya knew how to pick locks—which was where you fell short. He pulls out a pin from his hair, letting the longer strands loosely fall behind him as he crouches down next to the desk. He pushes the stray hairs away from his face as he starts with the last drawer, going up every time. Nothing seems peculiar to the naked eye, though. Just random documents from the top in every single drawer.

He takes out the contents one by one, not messing the order up. The first drawer just had the strength of your troops, and how many Varka had taken for his expedition. Some other mission details as well.

The second drawer contained a leather notebook, along with some other trinkets from your missions. Kaeya remembers the notebook very well—you used to write in it a lot when you were younger. Whether it be details about a mission or the nightly escapades that he and you(sometimes included Diluc as well, but Kaeya didn't like to talk about that anymore), or sparring. You'd sketch in it, write in it, make notes in it, and almost everything else. It makes him smile at the nostalgia.

The third drawer was full of envelopes. And all of them had the Knights of Favonius seal on them. He almost groans out loudly at it as he places them all back inside. A few fall out of the pile, which he tells himself he'll put back after he's checked the fourth drawer.

The last drawer had empty parchments and extra sets of quills. You'd hide something here if you were smart, but there wasn't anything there anyway.

Kaeya sighs in agitation as he closes the drawers one by one. The envelopes on the floor stare back at him as he picks them up, opening the third drawer yet again as he keeps them back.

(Wait.)

(Was that just him, or did one have a different seal than the others?)

He blinks profusely, eyeing the letter in his hand. It had nothing on the envelope, but the seal was different. It wasn't the Favonius seal, no, it was a different design. Everything about the envelope was normal—from the looks of it, he could tell there's just a normal letter inside, the merlot seal looked oddly standard too. Other than the fact that its design was different. No wonder he couldn't find it when he first looked through the third drawer.

Kaeya picks up the hairpin he'd placed on the desk and puts it in his hair before he places the mysterious envelope in his coat and leaves the Headquarters. He doesn't open it though. Even though he wants the curiosity to get the best of him, he feels as if he should confront you the next night.

The next day is horrifying for you. 

The second you step into your office and see that the drawers are unlocked, you almost die of a stroke. 

(Seriously.)

You're frantically looking around your office. Kaeya's gone for the day, and so are most others—there have been a few missions in Springvale and commissions to be taken care of. Jean is the only one who's still in the building, along with Lisa, and both of them are probably swamped with paperwork and more missions piling up. 

Your eyes are wide as you search the table and drawers again and again, the day's paperwork forgotten on your desk. You run over to the bookshelves, looking in every single book to see if you've left it there. 

(Even though you clearly remember that you dropped it in the drawer and shut it way too loudly when Kaeya walked in.)

Wait, you stop dead in your tracks as the afternoon sun wafts through the window behind the table, that's it.

Kaeya. He was the one who saw you with it. Not directly, but he saw you close the drawer and act dubiously. He's known you for over ten years, of course, he could tell you were hiding something. 

You're screwed, your thoughts are loud as you run out of the building in a hurry and straight towards the tavern. You crash into people, yelling out a half-hearted apology as you run to open the door and barge in. The music in there stops playing as everyone turns to look at you. Clearing your throat awkwardly, you walk up to the bar to ask Charles where Diluc could be found at this time. 

"Boss is probably at the winery, why?" the bartender replies, "Ya look scared."

"I-It's important. Just.. tell him to come to my place when he gets here, okay? He'll probably know," you say, tucking a strand of your hair as you speak, completely out of breath but you manage to get the words out. Charles nods, although, with narrowed eyes and a raised eyebrow, he still nods and says he'll do so. You thank him before you head for your home, heart almost beating out of your chest in apprehension and orbs of sweat forming on your forehead from the anxiety.

Time, again, manages to make you curse it for being so painstakingly slow. Every single second is filled to the brim with worry, that Kaeya will read the contents of that letter. 

The sun sets on the City of Freedom with colors of blue, pewter, and cornsilk cascading around with many clouds floating around this time. Your pen isn't scratching this time. The only sound that can be heard is the tapping of your foot on the wooden floor as you restlessly sit there on the sofa, an empty teacup from some time ago staring back at you. Your throat is somehow dry again, even though it had barely been an hour since you drank the tea. Your hands don't remain still when you look at them; they're trembling due to fear. Your eyes constantly look around the room—at everything from the dining table to the bookshelf to the shoe cabinet. 

(This is probably what you get for hiding everything. One day or another, it had to come out. You just hadn't expected it to turn out like this.)

(What had you expected, anyway?)

Your ears perk up when you hear a knock at your door. You're taking in short audible breaths as your chest heaves. You slowly stand up, hoping to the Archons it's not Kaeya. 

(You're sure you let out Teyvat's biggest sigh when Diluc looks up at you.)

You open the door widely and step to the side, letting the claymore wielder in. He walks with raised eyebrows as his eyes look at you in an almost analyzing manner, "Why didn't you send a letter?"

"Because it's urgent," you respond, walking over to the kitchen counter as you pour two glasses of water. One for Diluc and one for yourself. You turn and hand him a glass which he only shakes his head at. Shrugging, you gulp yours down in almost one go as you continue, "Kaeya knows."

"What?" Diluc asks, voice noticeably louder than usual. You nod profusely, your shaking hands finding themself on your temples as you take support from the kitchen counter. Diluc sighs before he says, "How?"

"I was supposed to send in my monthly report to my superiors," you mumble. It's almost a whisper, "And... I wanted to quit. Which was what was in the letter I wrote and left at my office drawer in the Headquarters."

"You left a report and your resignation letter at the Headquarters?" Diluc's voice is louder than before now, a clear indication of annoyance and disbelief, "[Y/N], you don't leave important documents where they can be easily found. That's a rookie mistake."

"I know. I'm sorry," you remark, "I didn't want to send it. I thought if I just don't do anything, they'd think I died or something."

"You know that's not how it works," Diluc reasons. You know he's right in the end anyway, he always has been. What you didn't know is if Kaeya saw it or not; you don't know if he closed the letter up right after looking at it due to anger, or if he read every single word carefully. 

There's a knock again. 

(It's Kaeya. You were supposed to go for drinks anyway. He was probably here to pick you up.)

"It's him," you mutter as you look at Diluc with a worried gaze. You chew on your lip as Diluc tells you to go open the door. He stands near the kitchen counter, watching over your figure as you slowly walk towards the front door. Your quivering hands undo the lock, and each second feels like it's ticking by slower and slower. 

"Hey," you fake a smile. Kaeya's eye lands on you first, a wide grin spreading on his face. It disappears as soon as he sees Diluc standing in the back, a scowl almost forming as he steps inside. You step back from the Cavalry Captain, about to speak up until Diluc says, "You stole it."

"Diluc!" you furrow your eyebrows as you turn to face the scarlet-haired man. He looks away, rolling his eyes as Kaeya pulls something out from the inside of his coat, "What, you mean this?"

Kaeya's gloved hand holds the envelope out in the air, the wax seal faced towards you. He hadn't opened it. 

(You're sure you feel like someone just resurrected you from the dead.)

"Kaeya, give that to me," you say as you take a step towards him. He notices the dread in your tone once more, your messy hair and your hand that you hold out for him to hand the envelope to you. You're terrified. 

(Why are you scared? What could possibly be in this, anyway?)

"I thought it was a love letter," he chuckles, "What's in it?"

"It's not a love letter. Just give it back," you whisper, voice getting louder. He notices the apprehension again looking at Diluc then you again. Diluc gestures for him to hand the letter over too, but Kaeya takes a step back, his voice ringing out, "No."

"What?" 

"I said no," Kaeya tilts his head, "You either tell me what's inside it, or I won't give it to you."

"Kaeya. Not now," your voice is small now, "Please."

He takes another step back, only a few paces away from the front door now as he rips the envelope open. You gawk, reaching for it but he holds it above his head, pushing you back lightly as you yell out, "Kaeya, no!"

"What's so important about this that you're scared of me seeing it, anyway?" he shrugs, his nonchalant tone ringing in the room as you stand there defeated. He pulls the paper out, and your heart is falling out of your chest and into your hands as he unfolds the seams. 

Watching Kaeya Alberich's flirtatious grin turn into wide eyes, slightly parted lips and complete dread-filled in his head makes you close your eyes in defeat. His voice is barely audible, but when it’s pin-drop silent, you’re bound to hear him anyway.

"Y-you're from Khaen'riah?"

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[ladyexploso]

Nezu & His Wife Decide To Start Trying For A Baby? P2

•She sighed as she walked down the halls of UA, her mind going in circles, their child would most likely have a physical mutation.

•She and Nezu had multiple conversations on the topic as they truly started to decide on if they truly wanted to have a child of their own together. It was a sore spot for the man, she could only nod in a slight understanding of where he was coming from.

•Nezu has been bullied as a child,into highschool and even his teaching and hero career, it was horrible. She had been right beside him though out the years to witness the insults looks and glares that where cast upon him almost everyday, the comments that where thrown at him just by walking around, some where harmless but some even hurt her. Watching her husband be mocked and belittled.

•He didn’t want his child to face that on a daily basis like he did, to feel gross in their own skin because of something they couldn’t control.

•The two had come to terms that they did want a child, with a mutation or without, but it was still a scary thought.

•And now she actually had to tell her husband that they where having a child in general.

•She found herself walking towards the teachers lounge not to far away, the bell had gone off not that long ago signaling that lunch had started not to long ago.

•She kinda just wanted to hang out on the teachers lounge sofa, she hoped that Aizawa hadn’t some how gotten there before her because the man would set up his sleeping bag on the couch for the rest of the lunch break before going back to his class to teach.

•The room was clear as she looked inside. She draped herself across the couch, happy that she had got there before the grumpy sleepy man.

•Before she could get to relaxed, a poke to her side made her jolt up only to be meet with lazy almost blood shot eyes of Aizawa who was crouching next to her. “So you good? What did the old lady say?” She blinked a few times at his statement before a slowed lowl came from the door way making the two look up. Mic Walked in with his normal grin on his lips as he entered the lobby.

•Cocking a brow as the blond walked over, looking you over a bit as he pulled his sunglasses off.

•”She said I was fine, I just need to drink more water and eat a bit more that’s all. Probably should just be more careful.” She pouted. Mic looked her over again, his eyes lingering over her before his hand shot out, taking a few jabs of his own at her torso “Are you sure about that Doll because your looking a bit “full” down here if you ask me. You sure it ain’t nothing.” She snapped back “I’m blotted leave me alone!!”

•”Well before she almost did a face plant out in the middle of the training field she looked like she was about to make a Period Joke because of that stupid face she makes everytime she goes to tell one.” “Well yeah but you kno-!” “Bleeding is sometimes normal for women during pregnancy, and it would also if she’s bloated it could be a sign of early pregnancy..” everyone raised a eyebrow as Toshinori strolled into the room, almost acting like he hadn’t even said something as he started to pour himself a cup of coffee before spilling it everywhere as he realized what he had said out loud.

•Aizawa stud back up crossing his arms as he let out a sigh “ So you could possibly be-“ “Pregnant?” The words didn’t fall from not Aizawa’s but a voice from the door way making everyone in the room look over.

•Nezu stud at the bottom of the door way starring straight at his wife who was still sitting on the couch.

•She couldn’t hold back any, tears started to well in her eyes as she looked at her husband and smiled.

•”I-We!-I-I’m pregnant....I’m pregnant Nez.”

•The room was quite as Nezu walked over to his wife and sat next to her, he held out his paws as she took them. The two just sat there for a few moments before he looked her in the eyes saying “So we did it? Your pregnant with our baby?” All she could do was nod and let out a laugh as her tears spilled over. Nezu pulled her down, the twos foreheads touching as he almost whispered to her “We are having a baby.” As he smiled back to her, “Yeah where having a baby..!”

•Nezu, being Nezu stud up before saying loudly “We are having a baby!”the three other teachers just blinked before clapping, All Might coughed and hacked while Aizawa just rolled his eyes and gave a small clap, Mic was yelling around the room talking about how cool of a uncle he was going to be and how he needed to call Midnight as soon as possible to tell her.

•Nezu just helped dry his wife’s tears along with his own, the two just talking about how they where going to break the news to the students.

•”Honey this is not good, you can’t tell them by putting a explosive in their class room!!” “But it would be a major lesson point on how to pay more attention to their surroundings! But we would also be telling them about the baby!”

•This was going to be a hard few months, but it was only just starting for the teachers and students of UA who now had to deal with a bipolar principal and his equally bipolar wife who was now pregnant.

Possibly More? P3??

@carolinawindsay

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: sorry? it had to happen. its not that bad yea?

btw, i forgot to add a request that i filled last chapter so i just added the screenshot to the last chapter. so to whoever requested them to look at old pictures together, obviously it was in chapter 39 and it was for you :)

oh and no request for this chapter, probably next one! :(

Chapter 40 : His chapter

NIALL

I was surprised to see her already awake when my alarm rang in the morning but I understood exactly why when I finally sat in bed after everything was ready. She was shaking one of her legs, looking nervously around the room and although I felt a bit bad for her, the whole scene was a bit funny too.

"Darling, come here."

Her eyes finally met mine and I sent her a smile, raising my eyebrows to incite her to get closer. She finally took the few steps that separated us and I pulled her between my legs, slipping my hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she looked down at me. She stared in my eyes and sighed and my gaze dropped to her lips when she licked them.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked in a low tone, tilting my chin up to look at her better.

"You've got all the money in the world, you could at least offer me a bit more I mean, a penny?"

Her lips curled and it made me laugh as I pulled her closer. Her hands slipped in my hair  and I let out a low sigh.

"I know it's not easy, and i'm gonna miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day." I let out, making her roll her eyes with a small smile. "But hey, we'll facetime every night and i'll text you and send you pictures... okay?"

Slowly, she nodded and tilted her head as her hair fell around our faces, hiding us from the world. I was torn between being excited and happy for the trip or sad and nervous about leaving her behind and somehow, all these emotions made a weird mix, forming a lump in my throat.

"Do you promise..." she started so low I barely heard, letting her fingers brush down my cheek, jaw and neck before grabbing the collar of my shirt. "...to be faithful to me?"

I hadn't expected the question and I moved my upper body back a bit to see her better as my eyebrows raised. I could hear my heartbeats accelerate but I wasn't sure why. Was I hurt by her question, or did it make me mad that she could think that of me?

"I.. hate this question, but i'm gonna answer anyway." Her eyes finally met mine and I could read in them that she felt bad for asking, but that it was stronger than her. I felt my body relax a bit and sighed. "I promise. You're the only one for me, and i'm not going to cheat on you. Physically or emotionally."

Her lips curled more and it made me smile too. I tried to tell myself that she was insecure and that it's why she needed to hear these things a lot, but I couldn't help the feeling of annoyance creeping inside my stomach. i tried to ignore it, if only because I wanted our last moments together to be happy, and shrugged my shoulders slightly.

"Are you coming with me to the airport?"

Her eyes dropped to her hands now both playing with the collar of my shirt and she started nibbling her bottom lip. She looked vulnerable, sad, and slightly embarrassed but the first thing I ended up thinking as i looked at her was how much I loved her.

"I'd rather not." she finally admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "I know i'd be emotional and I don,t want to cry in front of everyone and your fans and paps if they end up being there. And I don't want to drive back home by myself, I know i'll be crying the whole time."

I waited for her eyes to finally meet mine but it didn't happen.

"Hey." I let out gently. "I understand."

Her gaze finally moved up to meet mine and she mouthed a 'thank you'. I had the feeling she was on the verge of tears and I finally got up, keeping my arms around her and bending down to kiss her lips.

"How long do we have left?" she asked in a whisper, her lips brushing against mine.

"Like, 15 minutes." I let out low too, walking slowly her way and forcing her to take a few steps back until her back leaned on the wall. "They're about to pick me up."

"And you've got everything ready?" she asked, tilting her chin up to send me a cheeky smile.

I smirked back and chuckled, bringing both of my hands to the button of her jeans while still staring in her eyes.

"Almost." I joked, bringing my lips back on hers to kiss her deeply as I moved her pants down.

She whimpered low against my lips and squirmed a bit, finally taking her jeans and panties off and pushing them away with one of her feet. I laughed against her mouth as she pulled on my shorts too, leaving them right under my ass and when she took my cock out, I groaned low, my lips leaving hers. I leaned my forehead against hers and stared at her as I grabbed one of her thighs to place it around my waist.

"13 minutes." she joked, making me smile again. "Please do it."

I felt the tip of my dick press against her pussy and I watched her lick her fingers and bring her hand between us. Quickly, she rubbed herself and grabbed my dick, jerking me off slowly with her wet hand and I felt my eyes flutter a bit at her touch. It made me realize I was going to miss this more than I thought I would. The sex was good with her and I always wanted more. Being without her for six weeks wasn't going to be easy. She placed two of her fingers on each side of my cock as I pushed it slowly inside her and it felt so good to be inside her again that I let out a moan, pushing her hard against the wall.

"You feel amazing."

My lips found hers and I kissed her gently, feeling her fingers slip softly in my hair. I groaned low in her mouth and when she mentioned '11 minutes' I chuckled through the kiss. I moved my cock out of her very slowly and pushed it back, feeling her body tense a bit but it only took me a few seconds to speed my thrusts, pressing her more against the wall every time. I leaned my forehead against hers again and watched hr lips part as she started panting lowl.

"I love you so fucking much."

I saw her eyes flutter open at my words and her grip tightened in my hair.

"You mean so much to me." I added just as low. "I love you so much, Olivia."

Her lips found mine again and the kiss was so rough that my thrusts became unsteady. She kept her hands in my hair when our lips parted and I felt myself getting closer and closer to my orgasm.

"I love you too Niall." she whimpered very low. "More than anything and anyone."

I felt myself get dizzy and she started moaning and shaking against me. I fucked her harder to reach my own orgasm and when I did, I felt the fingers of one of my hands curl against the wall behind her while the others sunk in the skin of her thigh that was still around my waist.

"Fuck."

I spilled inside her, shutting my eyes tight as her hands slid on my neck and chest, I waited until my heartbeats came back to a normal speed and opened my eyes only to see her smile at me.

"I'm gonna think about this every single night."

My eyes roamed on her face and I smiled fondly at her.

"Me too."

I don't know how long we stared at each other but from seeing her face, I knew that telling her how much I loved her while we were having sex was a good idea. It was not even planned, I just felt it and decided to say it and I never thought the result would be so good. I heard my phone and sighed without moving. It's only when I heard it a second time that I moved away from her. I stared at her half-naked body as I moved my shorts back up and passed my hand in my hair. She quickly put her panties back on and I finally took my shirt off, handing it to her. Her lips curled and she grabbed it, tilting her head as she stared at me.

"I know that's your kind of cheesy." I explained, chuckling a bit. "I hope it doesn't smell too bad."

She brought it to her face and smiled, shaking her head.

"I sort of kept your hoodie from last night, too." she admitted, biting her bottom lip and making me laugh this time.

"It's all yours."

I grabbed my phone and read my text messages before looking up at her. She hadn't moved, she was still leaning against the wall, her head tilted lightly, looking at me, and I smiled more, moving my phone to snap a picture of her. Her eyes got bigger and her lips parted as I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Oh god you didn't take a picture of me did you?"

I laughed again and grabbed my backpack but when I turned around, she was trying to take my phone, probably to delete it.

"Love, stop!" I said with an other chuckle, grabbing her hand gently. "I promise I won't show it to anyone! It's only for me.. for all those nights without you."

Her traits softened and although I knew she didn't like it at all, she nodded slowly. I cupped her face with both my hands and kissed her deeply, ignoring the sound of my phone again.

"Six weeks is barely anything." I whispered against her mouth.

"An eternity without you." she murmured. "I'll miss you."

"Not as much as I'll miss you."

                                                   ----

The ride to the airport and the process of getting aboard was long and painful and it's only when the plane took off that I finally seemed to relax. I leaned my head on the bench, feeling suddenly exhausted and closed my eyes for a while. I tried not to think about her and to focus on every place I wanted to see but it was not easy and I grabbed my phone to look at the last picture of her I had taken. Once again, she looked slightly vulnerable and it made me realize that she always turned me on when she looked like that. I ran my thumb on her over the screen of my phone and sighed, closing my eyes again for a few seconds. Did I make the right choice? Maybe I should have postponed that trip after all, right?

I jumped slightly when I received a message and opened the application on my phone only to see a selfie of my girlfriend making a grimace with the caption: 'Don't worry, i'm fine without you!' and it made me laugh. I saw she was typing and waiting until more words appeared, staring at my phone.

'Don't worry. Just have fun. I'll be there when you call. I'll be there when you come back. I love you.'

I smiled more and chuckled again, quickly typing an answer.

'You're perfect, I love you too.'

I quickly took a selfie of me blowing her a kiss and sent it to her. She answered me with a few emojis and I did the same before to switch to Louis' number. At first, I wanted to ask Harry but I realized that maybe I was a bit jealous of the relationship she had with him... or maybe I was scared that if they spent more time together, she'd forget about me and fall back for him. It was ridiculous and deep down, I knew it, but I didn't want to take the chance.

'Hey Tommo, would you and El mind checking on Liv while i'm gone?'

I was surprised to get his answer only a few seconds later and frowned a bit.

'I don't know about El but i'll entertain her, don't worry mate.'

'Is everything okay?'

'Don't worry about it, just enjoy your trip!'

I shrugged and sighed, closing the application and going back to my gallery. I started checking all the pictures of her and us on my phone and my heart twisted in my chest until I just turned my phone off and put it back in my pockets. My fingers brushed against the fabric of her panties that was hidden in the pocket of my shorts and this time, my heart literally skipped a beat. I wanted to put them in my bag but I forgot and it made me wonder if she knew I had kept them after making her cum with the vibrator I had bought for her. I knew I should have asked her before taking them but it was stronger than me and finally, I pushed them deeper in my pocket to make sure I wouldn't lose them.

I tried to sleep for a while but every single time I was about to fall asleep, an idea would pop in my head and i'd quickly grab my phone again to write a few lyrics or hum a few notes that I'd record. I always seemed to feel inspired by something and even if I had promised myself that I'd do nothing but enjoy this trip, I knew I had to write down all my ideas or i'd end up regretting it.

I was trying to get distracted from her and from the hole in my chest that her absence had seemed to dig but it was not easy. I said six weeks were going to go by very fast, she said it was going to feel like an eternity... and if I wanted to be honest, I was started to believe she may be right.

                                                           ----

"Niall! Let's go!"

I tried to read the text message I had received as we walked through the crowded but small town. It was pouring, I was only wearing shorts and shoes, but I was still heavily sweating. I hadn't seem Olivia face to face in three weeks and although it was tough to be without her, I was starting to feel at ease with my decision. This trip was even more incredible than I thought even if I had to stay in crappy motels and eat cheap food. It was an experience I really had to live at least once in my life.

'I miss you too' I quickly typed with at least one mistake before hitting 'send'.

We walked in a motel and I let my backpack fall on the floor, shaking my head slightly as some water fell into my eyes and finally put my cap back on.

"Okay, let's go get a few drinks."

"Amazing idea." I replied, searching through my stuff to find a shirt. just as my phone went off again.  "Fuck, I forgot, I have a facetime date tonight."

One of my cousins chuckled but I ignored it and just grabbed my phone, typing an other message quickly to my girlfriend.

'We're going out. Rain check?'

I didn't wait for an answer but still decided to bring my phone with me. We ended up drinking a few beers and meeting new people. It was fun, I was getting tipsy, and I started a conversation with the pretty girl sitting next to me. It took me about an hour to realize she was flirting with me but when she laughed, putting her hand on my thigh, I tensed. She moved her thick dark hair behind her ear and tilted her head with a smile, making me smile back. I liked her accent and her eyes and I was about to tell her about it when my phone rang. I saw Liv's face on the screen and immediately sobered up. I had changed her picture for the one she had sent me when I was on the plane and the way she grimaced on it made my heart skip a beat.

"I'm sorry." I told the pretty girl whom's name I couldn't seem to remember. "I have to answer."

I got up and walked out of the bar, letting out a 'hello?' in my phone. I brought my shoulders up when I realized it was still raining as water slipped inside my shirt, freezing me immediately despite the warm weather and the amount of alcohol in my blood.

"Oh shit, Niall?"

Her voice calmed me immediately and I smiled. I wanted to be mad that I was taken, I wanted to be annoyed with the fact that I was living the trip of a lifetime and that I couldn't sleep with a girl I just met in a bar, but as soon as her voice reached my ears, it seemed to reach my heart too. It was cheesy but I like it and I tried to take a mental note of these words to use them later.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, I wanted to text you but my fingers slipped." she explained. "I'm having a hard time with this new phone."

I frowned, trying to stay under the small roof of the bar as people walked in and out. My shirt was already soaked and my hair was no better but I just wanted to listen to her some more.

"I didn't want to bother you, I know you're having fun, we can talk tomorrow." she quickly said. "I love you, Nee, goodnight."

"No wait!"

I had talked a bit louder than I intended and I felt something stir in my stomach. I didn't know if it was just because I missed her, or because I felt guilty for the thoughts that ran in my head only a few minutes ago when i was with an other girl, but I suddenly wanted to take a plane back home to be with her.

"I shouldn't have canceled our date, i'm going back to the motel now, I'll call you as soon as I get there."

Without thinking, I walked out in the rain quickly, my phone still pressed on my ear. The weather wasn't as bad as a few hours before but my shoes were still drenched and it made a weird sound as I walked.

"No, Niall it's okay!" she argued with a small chuckle. "I'm fine, really, you can't spend all the time talking to me, you have to visit and have fun. I'm fine here without you, remember? Or do I have to send you an other picture?"

She started laughing and my heart jumped on my chest.

"Send me as many pictures as you want. I miss your face."

This time, she kept quiet for a few seconds and when she talked again, I could hear worry in her tone.

"Are you sure, Niall? Are you sure you want us to talk tonight?"

I stopped waking, just feeling the rain fall in my eyes, trying to stop my heart from beating so fast.

"Yes."

                                                  ----

It took me about half an hour to get back to the hotel and as soon as I arrived, I texted my cousin to tell them I was gone and that i'd see them in the morning. I took a quick shower, not really enjoying the bathroom but it was better than being dirty, and finally sat in bed with my phone in hands. It took her a few seconds to answer and I realized she was on her laptop. She sent me a smile as soon as she saw me and licked her lips, bringing her shoulders closer to her face.

"Hey..."

"Hey petal, how are you?"

Her eyebrows raised and her lips curled slightly more. Fuck, I wanted to kiss her.

"I'm the one who should ask you that." she pointed out. "Are you okay, Nee?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I noticed she was wearing my hoodie. The sleeves were pulled over her hands and I desperately wanted to cuddle her.

"Yea, was just missing you."

She was about to answer something when I saw someone in the corner of the screen, making me frown. I sat up better in bed and tried to see who it was, and it suddenly hit me: she was not at my house, and also not at her apartment.

"Where are you?"

As if on cue, Louis appeared and sat next to her, handing her a cup of tea. She took a quick sip and thanked him, sending him a smile. I watched them interact and my heart seemed to sink in my chest.

"I'm at Louis'." she finally let out as if it wasn't obvious already.

"Is that why you didn't want to talk?"

"I wanted to talk, Niall." she frowned slightly. "I just didn't want to bother you. We don't talk as much these days and it's okay, I know you're busy and you're having the time of your life, and I don't want you to think i'm smothering you or stopping you from living this plenty."

My anger and jealousy faltered and my traits softened as I nodded.

"Can you go back home? I'd like to talk with just you."

I knew I had no right to ask her that and I was also aware that I was the one who had asked Louis to check on her but it seemed like I was just realizing that the world was still turning there, in London, without me.

Olivia glanced at Louis who sent her a smile and started nibbling her bottom lip.

"We sort-of had something planned..."

"No it's okay Livi, I totally get it."

She finally looked back at me after a few seconds and quickly nodded, her lips curling into a big smile this time, making me believe she wanted to talk to me as much as I wanted to talk to her.

"Okay, let me call you back when i'm home."

She blew me a kiss and without giving me time to answer, she hung up. I stayed in bed, motionless, realizing that I was alone in the dark in an other country and somehow, I felt extremely pathetic at that moment. I thought about the girl I was flirting with, I thought about the fact that I wanted to kiss her and maybe more, and even if that thought had crossed my mind only for half a second, I felt like shit. It was not Olivia's fault that I was here, or that I hadn't had sex in three weeks. It was my decision and she didn't have to pay for that. I had never felt that guilty before when in a relationship and it's not like it was not normal to lust other people but for some reason, I was scared that if I could have these thoughts, perhaps she could too. She was not spending her time all alone locked in my room, waiting for me to come back, and for some weird reason, it was just hitting me now.

I don't know how long I waited but I decided to call back again, even if it meant that I would look desperate. In fact, I sort of was.

"Babe, i'm in the car." she pointed out. "I'm almost there."

She had put her phone near the dash and I could see her hands moving on the wheel. She was not looking at me but I was staring at her and even from that weird angle, she looked pretty.

"Do you know what I want to do to you?"

Her face changed and she glanced at me but I could swear I saw her cheeks turn a soft shade of red, making me smirk.

"I really want to fuck you, pet." I added low. "I want to make love to you. I want to feel your warm body beneath mine. I miss you so bad."

She chuckled. "Me or fucking me?"

"Can't it be both?" I asked, raising my eyebrows, a smirk still gracing my face.

"It can."

I watched her and kept silent as she parked the car and turned to look at me in the screen of her phone, her head slightly tilted and her hair falling on her right shoulder, exactly like the picture I had taken of her before I left.

"I miss you too, Niall." she whispered, making my heart twist. "I wish you were here."

[godstaff]

You wish...

I’m amazed when people ask me stuff, like they’re expecting me to have all the answers and wisdom pours out from my keyboard.

I mean: of course I have them and no doubt it does, the point is...what makes you think I am inclined to share them with you, lowlings? Puh-lease!

Disclaimer: this is meant as a joke, okay? I love when people ask me stuff.

[gyrlversion]

Undercover hero saved Labour MP from Neo Nazi murder plot

A former neo-Nazi who exposed a paedophile  white supremacist who wanted to kill a police officer and an MP turned became disaffected when the group, National Action, became more focused on terrorism. 

Robbie Mullen, who was a member of National Action, reported the plot involving Jack Renshaw to anti-fascist organisation Hope not Hate – who passed on the information to police. 

Renshaw wanted to kill Labour’s Rosie Cooper as welll as Detective Constable Victoria Henderson. 

Robbie Mullen, pictured, became a whistleblower and exposed a plot by paedophile neo Nazi Jack Renshaw to kill Labour MP Rosie Cooper and a female detective constable who was investigating him on suspicion of child sex offenses 

Jack Renshaw, pictured at a National Action demonstration is facing life imprisonment after being exposed by his former far right comrade who has turned his back on extremism

The 23-year-old convicted paedophile is facing life in prison for preparing an act of terrorism and killing the police officer and politician. 

A jury failed to return a verdict on whether Renshaw was a member of the banned far right group National Action.  

Mullen, whose insider information exposed the plot told The Mirror: ‘Jack had a grudge against the police officer because she was investigating him.

‘He didn’t really have a clue who the MP Rosie Cooper was. As an MP, she was seen by him as the puppet of Jews, trying to let immigrants in to weaken the white race.’

Mullen claimed Renshaw would prefer to have been killed by police during his terror attack rather than face justice for being a paedophile. 

Mullen said he went on his first White Pride march in 2015 and became involved with National Action. 

The group was banned following the murder of Labour MP Jo Cox.  

When members of National Action began discussing becoming ‘white jihadis’ Mullen contacted Hope not Hate and met with former far right activist Matthew Collins. 

Renshaw is currently serving a 16-month jail term for grooming two underage boys online

In July 2017, Mullen warned Collins about the planned double attack. Mullen said he was convinced Renshaw was serious about going on a killing spree.    

Jack Renshaw, 23, bought a 19in Gladius knife to kill the West Lancashire MP and exact revenge on a female police officer who interviewed him, the Old Bailey heard. 

Renshaw, from Skelmersdale, Lancashire, had admitted making preparations to kill his local MP and making a threat to kill police officer Victoria Henderson.

But he denied membership of banned extreme right-wing group National Action along with Andrew Clarke, 34, and Michal Trubini, 36, from Warrington.

A jury at his retrial was discharged, having failed to reach verdicts after more than 48 hours of deliberations and prosecutor Duncan Atkinson QC said he could not seek a third trial.

It can be reported today that Renshaw is a convicted paedophile who was jailed last June for 16 months after he groomed two underage boys online.

Jurors at Preston Crown Court found him guilty of four counts of inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.

He also received a three-year prison sentence two months earlier when he was found guilty of stirring up racial hatred after he called for the genocide of Jewish people.

National Action leader Christopher Lythgoe, 32, of Warrington, and his right-hand man Matthew Hankinson, 24, from Merseyside, who were present when Renshaw outlined his plans, were convicted of membership last year.

National Action is the first extreme right-wing group to be proscribed by the Government since the Second World War.

Renshaw had bought this knife with the intention of murdering Ms Cooper 

In December 2016, it was banned by the then home secretary Amber Rudd over its support for the murder of Batley and Spen MP Ms Cox.

Lythgoe reacted to the news by telling members that they would ‘just shed one skin for another’.

The North West contingent continued to meet in pubs and train together at a new mixed martial arts gym in Warrington, it was alleged.

Meanwhile, disillusioned Mr Mullen, 25, began leaking information about National Action to campaign group Hope Not Hate.

Shortly before his arrest, Renshaw met with National Action members Claudia Patatas, 39, left, and Darren Fletcher, 28, right, in Liverpool 

By July 2017, Renshaw was on police bail for making hate speeches and under investigation for child sex offences.

He decided on ‘suicide by cop’ rather than face a seven-year stretch in prison.

He bought a large machete to take revenge on a female investigating officer and kill his local MP.

Renshaw unveiled his plan at the Friar Penketh pub in Warrington on July 1 2017 to Clarke, Hankinson, Lythgoe and Mr Mullen.

Earlier that day, he had met convicted National Action members Darren Fletcher, 28, Adam Thomas, 22, and his partner Claudia Patatas, 39, in Liverpool.

After the pub meeting, Mr Mullen, from Widnes, Cheshire, reported the threat to Hope Not Hate and Renshaw was arrested.

Mr Mullen, who was granted immunity from prosecution, told jurors: ‘He said he was going to kill his local MP, Rosie Cooper. I said ‘Are you sure?’ and he said ‘Yeah’.

‘He said he would kill her, then try to take some hostages to lure the police officer that was investigating him to try to kill her because she was the reason behind it all.

‘He said his mind was made up. He had bought a machete.’

Renshaw had planned to murder Labour MP Rosie Cooper, pictured

Renshaw said he would wear a fake suicide vest so he would be killed by police, Mr Mullen added.

The defendant declined to give evidence in his retrial, but in his first trial last year explained his reasons for targeting Ms Cooper.

He said: ‘I wanted to send a message to the state that if you beat a dog long enough it bites – she just happened to be my local MP.’

Giving evidence, warehouse worker Clarke said: ‘National Action was immature. I was tired of it. I was thankful for the ban.’

He told jurors a Swastika bookmark found in his sister’s loft was ‘a joke’ and he only went to the Friar Penketh on July 1 on a ‘whim’.

He said: ‘Renshaw said something about an MP when I was drunk but I do not remember what he said. Whatever Renshaw was doing I heard it but I did not really pay attention because I was drunk.’

Office worker Trubini, who qualified as a teacher in Slovakia, admitted a shared ideology about white nationalism and opposition to multiculturalism.

But he said: ‘I would not jeopardise my job to be a member of a group that had no real impact.’

Trubini insisted he was ‘politically naive’ and having tried to read Mein Kampf, found it ‘boring and badly written’.

As she discharged the jury from returning verdicts, Mrs Justice McGowan said: ‘You have obviously worked very hard. You have obviously been very diligent. You have obviously worked your way through all the material so we understand and respect the decision you have made.’

She remanded Renshaw into custody to be sentenced on May 17.

Hope not hate chief executive Nick Lowles praised the bravery of Mr Mullen in foiling the plot but criticised police for being ‘too slow’ to act.

He said: ‘We all owe a great debt of gratitude to Robbie Mullen, our source inside this Nazi gang, for his bravery.

‘National Action was part a new, more extreme breed of neo-Nazis that vilified Jews, celebrated and encouraged violence and lauded Hitler. They wanted to ignite a race war in Britain.

‘While we welcome the various prosecutions which have taken place, the authorities and police have been too slow to act and missed too many warning signs about the changing nature of the far-right terror threat.

‘The Christchurch terrorist attack shows that there is a global network of far-right activists who are inspiring each other to launch violent attacks. This is no time for complacency about the threat we face from far-right terrorism.’

Mr Mullen said Jack Renshaw, pictured, was just days away from murdering Ms Cooper 

Matthew Collins, Hope not Hate’s head of intelligence, said: ‘We continually warned that National Action had not stopped recruiting and training after its ban in December 2016 and we were proven right when Robbie Mullen first came to us in April 2017.

‘At the time, police didn’t seem to have any idea that the group was still active, despite its ban. I can only pay tribute to Robbie’s persistence, which helped prevent the murder of an MP.

Mr Mullen thanked the organisation, saying: ‘By reporting Jack Renshaw’s murder plot and giving evidence in this court my life has changed. I had to walk out of my job, I was forced to move home and I have to live with a target on my back.

Renshaw, pictured, is facing life in prison 

‘But I know I had no other choice. Jack Renshaw was days away from trying to kill an MP, Rosie Cooper.

‘I now want to get on with the rest of my life – I hope that in doing so, and rebuilding my life, I can encourage others to take a different path than I did.’

Ruth Smeeth MP, who warned Ms Cooper after learning of the danger, said it had been a ‘truly shocking’ case.

She said: ‘Two years after the devastating murder of my colleague Jo Cox, we narrowly averted what could have been another appalling crime.

‘I cannot overstate Hope not Hate’s role and what might have happened had Robbie Mullen not been able to report Jack Renshaw’s plans. We all owe Robbie a huge debt of gratitude for what he did.’

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