#this is a joke I am bi. or lesbian idk. I’ve always known I like women nbd and I find guys cute sometimes but male genitals make me puke

[greenvillainredemption]

Broke: Alma is homophobic

Woke: None of the characters are homophobic

Bespoke: It’s a catholic town in the early 1900s girl everyone is homophobic

[ayy-spec]

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

·  to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me  (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

·  :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

·  i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way. 

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

[poplinn]

I do think that the new outbreak of toxic people drumming up their toxic groups in this fandom is hurting people. They think theyre doing something right but all they're doing is making mentally ill and/or young fans too scared to enjoy or create in fear of being harassed.

Hi anon! first of all i want to apologise for responding so late. I have a lot to say about your ask and just wanted a clear head before i decided  to respond. i want to start  off by saying you are absolutely right.

Before i continue i am going to put a read-more because, well, i have a LOT to say about this, so, mini-rant ahead under the read-more…

These people are doing more harm than good.

I understand if you want to make a small list with content warnings, for a fandom, that is completely fine! But using such a list to start bullying, harassing, threatening and in general, witch-hunting people is not okay. Many great and talented people have been driven away from the fandom by that tiny toxic group(or the cucks, as i like to call them for easy sakes). Content creators are even scared to post their content too now, both of these things are a huge shame. It’s terrible. Sites like tumblr are supposed to be for sharing your content without limitations. [well, until the nsfw ban, but you get what i mean..]

I happen to be in contact with some people on the blocklist, and let me tell you, they are truly amazing and wonderful people. 

Yeah sometimes people make content you may not agree with, but that doesn’t mean you have start attacking people for it. Do you know how easy it is to click the unfollow or block button? But apparently some people are so stupid they prefer to screech instead of click one single button. 

But for example, I dislike a certain popular hc for medic. I dislike the Jewish medic hc. I’m a Jewish man myself, but I don’t like seeing Jewish medic for multiple reasons, none of which are out of antisemitic nature. What do I see when I see Jewish medic? I mind my own fucking business. The person who posted that wanted to create that, fine by me. I don’t agree with it, and I don’t have to. I’m not going to make a dumb expose list for everyone who ever said anything about medic being Jewish. I mind my fucking business like a normal, mature person. 

And there was/is a huge discussion about drawing or writing tf2 non-con…yeah, rape isn’t good. Every sane person knows that. Writing or drawing rape does not mean you’re a rapist (unless it’s an autobiography of course, then I’d like you to take a trip to prison). But, some people, including myself, write or draw non-con as a coping mechanism. I use confrontation to cope. I have a few triggers, and by confronting myself with said triggers I’m slowly getting over said triggers.

If I write or draw about these triggers or rape, I feel like I’m relieving my feelings about what happened to me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, and i’m not the only person who does it like that. 

Yeah, I get people don’t always want to see that. That’s why tags exist, that’s why people use those tags for content and trigger warnings. That’s why you block those tags if you don’t want to see it.  It’s that simple

Also, some of them make the claim that fiction is reality. I disagree, fiction is not reality. Yes, fiction can impact reality, but it isn’t one and the same. If you can’t distinguish fiction from reality then, well, you’re either not ready for fiction or not old/stable enough to be able to tell the two apart. Besides, if fiction really IS reality then so many movies and books would have been banned, or the writers of those must have been in jail by now, right? Writing a book about a fictional serial killer does not mean the writer is planning to or already has commit murder. Take Tf2 fan-fiction writers for example. They write about dudes slaughtering each other on a daily basis, but some of them wouldn’t even DARE to hit a fly in real life. 

People who commit crimes because of a fictional piece were already going to do so to begin with. No sane human sees a crime that occurs in fiction and thinks to do the same. Those who do commit crimes because of a fictional piece were already planning to do so to begin with, and were probably not a completely hundred percent stable person.

And about the discussion of miss p being a lesbian, yeah I get that Jay said she’s gay and that, and if she really was a Canon lesbian, it’d be weird to ship her with men. However, those cucks do also make soldier a homosexual despite him having a (gorgeous) wife? Isn’t that kind of hypocritical? Anyways, Jay most likely was joking about miss p being gay, he’s known to be a jokey person like that. I feel like the way he did it was just saying “oh yeah btw she’s gay”. To me it feels vague. In the same sense that jk Rowling suddenly says everyone is gay in Harry Potter. Yeah, I hc her as a funky lil lesbian too, but i don’t go off on a tangent when someone sees her as bi, because the way she was “confirmed” as a lesbian, was vague and uncertain, and most likely a dumb joke that split the fandom in half.    

Anyways, most of the cucks I ran into are underage, and aren’t even allowed on this site, which can explain their irrational behaviour, and refusing to listen to anyone who slightly disagrees with them, but lemme tell y'all something, minding your own fucking business would have prevented this entire blocklist ordeal.

Besides, YOU are in control of what you see on the Internet. Don’t like a certain type of content? BLOCK IT! or just, STOP LOOKING AT IT! it’s not that hard!

You are responsible for your own experience on the Internet. Not ready for that? Then close your phone/laptop and go outside. Content creators are not responsible for what you do online, these creators don’t know you, don’t expect them to fucking take care of you, they’re not your parents. Avoiding certain content does NOT mean you have to start policing others on what to post. You have no right to tell artist what they can and cannot post. Again, you may criticise or dislike it, that’s fine, but actively demanding censorship or threatening the creator makes you look like an incompetent asshole. 

And if you disagree with something, it’s better to start with calming yourself down and contacting the OP in a respectful and mature manner. Maybe talk to them, broaden your horizon, broaden their horizon. Can’t agree eventually? That’s fine, it’s normal. Simply block the tag or the creator themselves and boom! You’re done, and didn’t harm anyone in the fandom and probably learned something, and OP probably too! If something isn’t tagged you can always, nicely, reach out to OP and ask them to tag. Most of the time they will. And if they don’t, just unfollow or block them if they continue posting a certain something that triggers you. Making a blocklist is one of the most immature things you could do. You bully and harass people to the point where some feel unsafe, and some even suicidal, in a fandom about a dumb fucking hat Simulator. Is that really what you want?? A fandom is supposed to be a safe and fun place for everyone who likes a certain something. By being toxic, and harassing others to the point where they don’t even feel safe(not only those who are young or mentally ill) in a what was supposed to be a safe place for them, you’re actively harming that safe place, and frankly, you don’t deserve to be in the fandom. 

Also, I’ve seen a lot of these cucks say they actually hate tf2 as a game, and really, if you hate the game so much why are you still here in the fandom? And ruining it for the rest for us?

If you do feel unsafe, follow steps I mentioned above. Talk to people, block tags, block people, and mind your own business without policing others in what they can and cannot do. Unfortunately, the creators who do feel unsafe because of the toxic group cannot talk them, because the moment someone even slightly disagrees with them, or tries to respectfully discuss why they’re being “cancelled” the cucks start screeching like full-blown autists.

You’re not the law enforcement, you are (most likely) a minor who isn’t even allowed on tumblr in the first place, and who has no idea how the internet, or fandom spaces in specific, even work.

Fucking hell I miss 2014 Tf2 fandom sometimes. 

~~

I hope this ramble makes sense, and again I’m sorry for making this so long.

And I’m sorry for posting drama again, I don”t like it either, and i usually have a lot of patience, but after a few years of this shit, i have come to reach my boiling point, and i just snapped, I’m sorry.

I sometimes refer to the cucks as you, idk why, but just now that isn’t referring to you anon.

Hopefully this will be the last of drama/discourse for now.

Thank you for reading, have a good day. 

-pop 

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

I have something to share with you, and I would really appreciate it if you'd listen. I recently (like, very very recently) forced myself out of over a decade of self denial about my sexuality. And I know y'all don't care, but it's really important to me that I get this all out there, and if you read this whole thing you'll understand why.

Okay, so for the past ten years I've been telling myself and everyone else that I'm bisexual. But the truth is I'm not, I'm actually 100% lesbian. But. I don't know, I guess I was so ashamed of my truth that I needed to pretend to be something I'm not. So for the past decade, while calling myself bisexual, I dated and fucked around with several people, all dudes (hello, that bitch heteronormative-societal-pressure is calling) and well, not a single instance of those relationships was ever satisfying, sexually or emotionally. I remember when I was, what 10? 11? And watched Once Upon a Time for the first time. Seeing Lana Parrilla as Regina Mills - that was the moment I recognized that I was interested in girls. And I'd like to blame some external source for why I decided that must mean I'm bisexual and not gay... but in reality I think it had more to do with my own fear, my own insecurities.

After being thrust into the knowledge that I liked women, I spent a few months trying out labels (bi, pan, etc) but never really let myself consider lesbian as an option. Because up until that point, it had always been a given that I liked guys, you know? Like, straight is the default setting for sexuality (which, don't even get me started) and even though my family is and always has been very accepting and liberal minded, straight was still what they believed me to be as I had never indicated differently.

But now I was armed with my queer self knowledge, right? And the summer before high school I actually did come out to my best female friend at the time as a lesbian, and she was all "that's cool whatever" and part of me felt like I needed, I don't know, more acknowledgment? It was really difficult for me to come out to her, really difficult to even let myself say that I was a lesbian, and she basically didn't give a fuck. Which, don't get me wrong - I don't blame her for at all. We were 13 yrs old ffs! But it made me feel like maybe I was wrong, and I wasn't actually gay. Put on top of that all the adults in my life telling me that I couldn't possibly know who I was, that I was still growing up and therefore everything about me would change...and yeah, I began to doubt myself. Began to doubt if I knew myself at all, I was like "I'm 13, I used to hate bananas and now I like them...how can I know for sure I'm even gay?"

Anyways, so I'd just come out to my bff but then high school started - and I'm not sure if y'all know this but high school in 2012 was extremely heteronormative. My school wasn't anti gay or anything, but there's a lot of unconscious pressure from your peers to be in relationships, and when you're one of what, three gay people? you kinda can't be in a relationship ya know? So me, who was already questioning my self knowledge, decided that I must be bisexual instead of gay. And I dated like 3 people just in my first year lmao (all dudes of course).

Well, at the end of grade nine some really bad shit happened to me. Someone older than me who I trusted and considered a friend decided it would be cool to drug me and then try to get me to have sex with them in the "secret hallway" at our school. ANYWAYS not the point!!! The point is that after that, I labelled myself asexual and basically swore off sex forever.

The thing was, I kept on developing crushes on the girls in my classes. And every time that happened, I would force myself to ignore it and then I would go and flirt with some guy instead, because I might have been interested in both but who wants to be that one weird girl who flirts with girls that don't want to be flirted with? I certainly didn't. But guys we're always so easy, idk, they were all pretty desperate back then. Lmao that sounds harsh but I stg it's true. 15/16 yr old boys are like a whole nother level of thirsty.

I continued to develop crushes on girls, and have meaningless relationships with guys. I even briefly had a flirtationship with a girl in grade 10 (I went to a different high school for like a semester) which lasted a whole week lol. And then in 11th grade I had a relationship with my best friend at the time, who was a guy I'd been really good friends with since 5th grade. And it was both super easy and super hard, if that makes sense? I knew him well and we were really comfortable with each other - but I was also a lesbian pretending to be bisexual, so every time we did anything remotely sexual it was like totally ew.

We tried to have sex, but my vagina was like "ahaha bitch you thought" so that never happened. I actually tried to have sex two other times with two other guys after that, and each time my vagina was not having it. It was an instance of my body knowing me better than my mind, but I didn't want to listen.

Then this past fall, I decided to go out with this guy I worked with. It had been uh, wow, 2 years since my last relationship, and tbh even though I wasn't interested in dating him at all I felt like it might as well happen. Basically that John Mulaney joke about how adult life is already so goddamn weird. Also, after being single for that long my fam was getting pretty annoying with all the "when are you going to get a bf" shit so yeah, basically I caved to the pressure and went out with this guy Richard.

We went on maybe four dates, and it was so incredibly underwhelming that after not seeing or hearing from him for a month after the job ended, he called me and I was like "Richard who?"

Guys. I had legit forgotten about him. Completely, like he'd been erased from my mind, that was how insignificant he was. But it made me start to wonder; how can this guy, who I'd tried to have sex with, be so meaningless to me? Why am I so indifferent?

I sat down with myself, and took the time to have a long look at the parts of me I'd always kept hidden away. I came to the realization that I wasn't bisexual, that I'd never been bisexual, and that I am actually gay as fuck. Part of this realization was me letting myself rediscover my super gay love for Lily Tomlin. She is one of my fav actresses and her movie All Of Me was my favourite film for half my life. But because I was so busy forcing myself to be Not Gay™, I'd made myself ignore her, and a lot of other female actresses and celebrities who I adore in exchange for male celebrities.

But even after I made the realization that I'm gay and not bi, a part of my brain was like "but what if you're not tho". There was still a big part of me that was trying to force me back into denial, force me into hiding from myself. A part of me thought "if I'm gay, wouldn't someone have noticed? Wouldn't my family have known?" In hindsight it was actually super obvious, but I guess I did a good job of hiding it from myself and everyone around me.

It took me three weeks to actually say the words "I'm a lesbian" out loud to somebody other than myself, and when I did it was the scariest fucking thing I've ever done. My sister was really amazing about it though, and I'm so grateful to her for that. And after telling her, after forcing myself to say it to another human being, the part of my brain that was trying to get me to lie to myself got a little smaller.

When I told my mom a few days later, it was slightly easier to say out loud, and when I changed my bios on my social media (which I'd been avoiding like the plague) my need for self denial shrunk again. But it's still there, in a corner of my mind. The little voice of self doubt, trying to convince me that I'm wrong, that I can't be gay, that I should keep hiding.

That's why I needed to tell y'all this. Because the more people I tell, the more times I say it out loud, the more I make it known - the smaller that voice gets. The less power it holds over me. The more real the truth, my truth, becomes.

My name is Mara, I am 20 years old and I am a lesbian. Now you know my truth.

[derpyslurpy-da-derp-master]

All of WLW ask

Alrighty! 1. How long have you known you liked girls?

For two or three years I believe, might be a bit off I’m really bad at time perception.

2. Talk about the girl who made you realize you liked girls

Well my first crush was on a girl but I wasn’t physically attracted to her and loved her because I had known her for so long and cared about her so much. However the person that actually made me experience my first physical attraction to women which kinda blew off the cap and made me get to my current ‘ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS’ state was actually a voice actress/stage actress, Ikuta Teru, aka the voice of Futaba from Revue Starlight. The first time I saw her in the Revue Starlight live action musical my brain short circuited and I was completely and utterly floored, it did NOT help that Teru’s an actual Casanova and spent most of her time on stage being a charming ladykiller so there was also that.

3. Are you in a relationship at the moment?

Nope.

4. Do you have a crush at the moment?

I... Don’t know actually. I’ve had one crush in my life and it was on a girl I had no chance with who also was just a horrendous match for me and that would’ve been a toxic relationship. I’ve had two maybe-crushes since. It’s really hard to tell if the feelings I have towards a different girl is actually a crush or me being so starved of healthy good relationships.

5. Describe your crush!

Well, uh, problem there. The girl I mentioned above had a tumblr. So I’m not gonna do that even though I’m not sure if it’s a crush or not. Generally speaking, the two girls that I’ve had maybe-crushes on (not my first crush) have one big thing in common-They’re kind. Incredibly kind. They make me feel... Well, they make me feel unquestionably loved. That’s why it’s so hard to sort my feelings out. My first crush emotionally felt the same as before I had said crush, the only change was me realizing just how much I cared about her. I have a lot of love in my heart and I love my friends so much, especially the ones that genuinely make me feel loved like these two. So yeah.

6. Do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

I don’t really care about appearances, I find every single girl adorable, beautiful, or hot. If you mean the type that turns me into a gay disaster, it’d be more masculine leaning if that’s the phrasology you’re looking for. I mean my gay awakening was Ikuta freaking Teru so that should give a pretty good idea about my type. That and tomboys, a few years ago at a Theatre camp there was this girl who showed up every day wearing one of those shirts with massive holes in the sides that almost make it not a shirt anymore and a tanktop and for some reason always had a flannel tied around her waist and I literally couldn’t talk to her the whole week because every time I looked at her my brain malfunctioned.

7. Do you look/dress more masculine, feminine, or androgynous?

I don’t really put much thought into my appearance but I dress pretty androgynous though my first Prom I showed up wearing a Catra-inspired suit and I felt so goddamn cool so leaning towards Masculine a little.

8. What’s your gaydar like?

Accurate usually. It’s REALLY easy to pick fellow lesbians out since some of us have a pretty distinct way of dressing/acting.

9. Tall girls or short girls?

Short, it makes cuddles and hugs easier. Though I reiterate, appearance doesn’t matter too much to me at all.

10. Intimidating girls or kind girls?

KIND. Please please please kind! I’m a really positive person so I’ve attracted a LOT of negative people in my life and I want nothing more than my future girlfriend to be somebody who’s so genuine and kind with me that I don’t have to be scared in the back of my mind that they actually don’t like me.

11. Hugs or kisses?

I’ve never been kissed so hugs probably? I mean I’m touch starved so hugs are always good anyways.

12. Do you have an ideal ‘type’? What would they be like?

Not really, appearances don’t matter to me. My ‘type’ is kind, loving girls who are easy to read and never leave me second guessing myself or wondering if I did something wrong. Basically, the exact opposite of my first crush.

13. What’s your favourite personality trait of yours?

The fact that I am basically a Golden Retriever in a human body. I’m not exaggerating or joking, ask my mutuals and they’ll probably affirm the fact that I am a literal puppy.

14. What’s your favorite personality trait for a girl to have?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; being kind. I’ve had my own kindness taken advantage of a LOT by people who called me a friend then turned around and emotionally abused me relentlessly. Someone who is genuinely kind, someone who cares about me not because they want something from me but because that’s just who they are... That’s my favorite personality trait.

15. What’s the best thing about liking girls?

where the actual entire fresh frosted fruity pebbles to I begin. How about how every girl is wonderful? How no matter what every girl is cute or beautiful? How they give really good hugs? How they’re so much easier to have a deeper emotional connection with? How all women, no joke, are queens?

16. Do you have any friends who are wlw?

Kind of? My fellow Lesbian’s that I know IRL are, uh, not... Not that great. I don’t know if friend is even the right word. My best friend’s a bi girl though so that counts.

17. Have you ever been to pride? If so, what was your first pride like?

Unfortunately no. I’m still very much closeted. I live in a small town in the middle of Kansas, it’s not safe. 

18. Do you like the lesbian flag?

Mhm! Especially the newer one with the oranges in it, not only do the colors actually mean something now but it’s also much more pleasing to look at with the contrast.

19. What was your first kiss with a girl like?

I’ve never been kissed, I’m still closeted.

20. Who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

*cough cough*

21. What’s your favourite lgbt+ movie?

I’ve never actually seen any LGBT+ movies, closeted, remember? 

22. Who’s your favourite openly wlw celebrity?

I actually don’t know any, then again I barely know any kind of celebrities in the first place.

23. Do you wear makeup?

No and you can’t make me.

24. Who was the first person you came out to (if you have)?

My small friend group. The entire squad is LGBT+ so it was just another Tuesday.

25. Has anyone ever come out to you?

Kind of? My small friend group kinda did but it wasn’t a big thing it was just ‘Oh yeah by the way I’m a lesbian she’s a lesbian and she’s pan.’ and I was just all ‘A’ight.’

26. Have you found a community of lgbt+ people?

Online mostly. Like I said it’s not particularly safe for me to be out so unless I know FOR CERTAIN they’re LGBT+ and I also trust them a great deal I won’t ever tell a soul that I’m a Lesbian.

27. Do you have any older lgbt+ people you look up to?

Yeah, I think so. My friends I met on the Revue Starlight Hell discord server, at least I THINK they’re older than me but you never know.

28. Do you identify with butch/femme labels? 

Not quite, I mean, I’m kinda hard to sort into either. I like dressing sharp sometimes in a suit but also my hair is long and naturally incredibly curly and I normally dress real neutral so idk

29. Who’s your favorite fictional wlw?

These two, 100%. Their romance is literally two girls falling in love with their best friend and I can relate to that so much, not to mention they’re just so adorable and sweet they gave me diabetes a long time ago.

30. What experiences are you looking forward to having in the future (kissing a girl, going to pride, etc)?

Having a GF, having someone to cuddle, actually experiencing what a kiss is like, having someone to cuddle, finally going to Pride, did I mention having a cuddle buddy?

[mcrololo]

Can I get uhhhhhhh all questions you haven't done already

AHDJSDKKS; oh my god ok

1. describe your idea of a perfect dateThis is gonna sound really fucking cheesy but I’m down to do whatever as long as it’s with the one I like/love. Like you can take me fucking skydiving and I’d think it’s perfect just because I’m with my date. And if we die well at least we died together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. whats your “type”Uhhh, well, I’m a sucker for the ‘too kind for this world’ type. The Really Nice™. The Mom Friend™. Ya know. I also like blondes but that’s just a smol extra.

3. do you want kids?I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I do. It switches, usually when I think about babies. I don’t really like babies, but I love hanging out with kids and I would love to teach them about the good in the world. But you know what? I’m 21. I don’t need to decide that already. 

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?I’m not pooping out a baby, I’ve heard too many horror stories. So it’s either adoption or my girlfriend’s going through hell (that’s up to her).

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)LUKU DON’T LOOK OK. You’re too young for this.I don’t think anyone will ever not be nervous?? Like it’s completely new and especially gay sex is like ??? What the fuck do I do? They never explain that shit anywhere unless you go to specific places I guess. And as someone who has never had any interest in porn, I also didn’t look anything up. I was fucking nervous. I never know what I do and that sure as hell wasn’t an exception. And as a somewhat (at the time (I still sometimes am)) sex-repulsed graysexual, I also didn’t know how I felt about it. Now I like it, but I don’t really like talking about it, which is why I’m probably just rambling bullshit right now. 

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?Definitely night time. I hate mornings so much, I sometimes feel like throwing up when I wake up. It’s wild. 

8. opinion on nap dates?10/10, they’re great

9. opinion on brown eyes?BEAUTIFUL. Eyes are so expressive, no matter the color!

10. dog gay or cat gay?Dog gay (but also cat gay)

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someoneClosedmindedness. If you don’t accept people for who they are, I got no business with you.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?I grew up with a gay parent, but for some reason for the majority of my childhood and teenage years I was convinced being gay was a choice. bruh.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self“Just because your dad is gay, doesn’t mean you can’t be gay. It’s in your genes asshole. Also, stay focused on your friendships. They’re 1000% worth it and you’re gonna get something good out of it.” 

(skipping 15 ‘cause i’m a homo)

16. who is an ex you regret?I have one ex and I don’t regret anything. We’re still friends and I still enjoy her company. I’m really glad for that too, because things didn’t get weird and we don’t hate each others guts so that’s super chill. I support her.

17. night club gay or cafe gay?Cafe gay

18. who is one person you would “go straight” forI am an unstoppable gay force. My gayness will never run out and as much as I think some men are attractive, I will never be attracted to one. (no shade, I just never really feel that way about men??)

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?FUCK no don’t make me choose between that?? I guess I should pick video game because I’m a game artist but?? Books and MOVIES MAN

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)Uncovered & Sugarpunch ;) For real though, idk?? All gay ships are good

21. favourite gay youtuberHANNAH HART. I LOVE HER SO MUCH i wish i can meet her one day cause she introduced me to mens wear and im love??? ALSO SHE MAKES FOOD PUNS OK GOALS

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?No, but my first crush was on a bi girl who was more into dudes, does that count? I was literally in love with that girl for two years dang

23. have you ever been in love?I mean, something’d be terribly wrong if I wasn’t. @shikariix​ and I are hitting the 3rd year anniversary next month lol

24. have you ever been heartbroken?You betcha. In more ways than one.

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someoneI am a very simple gay who stays true to myself. If I see a person I like and it’s mutual, I am never letting go (unless, of course, they want to let go). I never think that I want to be someone else? Celine taught me a beautiful life lesson about being yourself, because that’s all you can ever be. 

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysGo out there. Explore. Experience. Learn! Have fun! You only got one life and it’s a shame if you can’t live it to the fullest. It’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to question things. You’ll find the answers and you’ll find yourself. Just keep looking. 

28. are you out? if so how did you come outOkay so I come out in the most ridiculous ways. I come out with puns. I joke about my sexuality a lot. Most of the times I actually don’t realize I’m outing myself because I assume people already know. Family friends who’ve known me since I was a baby have literally ALL said that they had always known, so that’s why I assume everyone knows I’m gay from day 1.

But coming out for the first time? FUCKING TRAIN WRECK. I was so fucking nervous. My dad was the first one I told and I almost couldn’t, but I don’t know why? He’s gay himself. My mom was even worse. She’s been hurt by my dad, of course, so her view on the whole gay community was whack. On top of that, she always had boyfriends who were anti-gay so I came out to her via facebook lmao. Couldn’t even tell it face to face. And she was so proud? Like, her whole view on gays kinda just switched, which isn’t entirely good but she’s learning and she’s so much more open now. My mom eventually told my grandparents because I was scared out of my mind, but two years later they took me in and a year later they also took in my girlfriend. 

My friends were all super chill ofc. Most of them also went like “I fucking knew it ya big ol’ tomboy lol”. 

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have So, about half a year after I came out as a lesbian, I also kind of discovered I don’t feel much, if any, sexual attraction. Most of the people I tell this are actually super chill about it and ask questions (which I’m fine with, because they’re also learning). But when I told my grandfather, he said “You’re young. You don’t know what you want”. And that fucking hurt. That literally struck me right in my core. I’ve always been a grandfather kid, I’ve always looked up to him, and then he goes and says that shit. 

He eventually learned too. “You’re never too old to learn” was one of the first sayings he’s taught me. I forgave him, and he accepted me. On a lighter note: the day after, I came home from school and my grandmother comes up to me to tell me all about asexuality. She said she’d looked it up and read all about it. I’m assuming my grandfather picked up on this too and that’s why he’s accepted it. I love my grandparents so much.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityI honestly have no idea. I have no experience with that, because I came out as soon as I accepted myself (that took a long while, but hey). Make sure you surround yourself with people you CAN be yourself around. I know that’s probably shitty advice because you can’t just leave your folks behind or something, but it’s nice to have a few people who feel the same way. Someone you can talk to.