#this is a Joke

[introvertathome]

"May you live in interesting times"

*picking up a gun* "Not interesting enough"

"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"

[asclepius-the-cat]

The reason they aren't showing Taylor Swift that much is because she's not in her seat cuz she's getting ready to assassinate Trump

[sivsii]

Making my valiant return to art tumblr exclusively as a rat artist

[thelesbianthespianposts]

ranking the Greek Gods on whether I would trust them with my drink (bc I got nothing else to do)

Zeus: -20000/10 I would not trust Zeus to be near me let alone near my drink. Self explanatory.

Poseidon: -20000/10 I trust Poseidon as far as I can throw him and since he’s a God I can’t throw him at all. Plus it’s a drink which is probably water based so even more likely to pull some shit.

Hades: -1000/10 I don’t think he has reason to drug me but he does kidnap people so no. (If anyone tells me he doesn’t actually kidnap people I’m gonna lose it, in many interpretations he does and there’s no such thing as a “correct interpretation”)

Ares: 10/10 Feminist Icon. He would protect my drink. He would also probably just stand by my drink and kill anyone who tries to drug it.

Apollo: 2/10 He would drink it. And then cry about it.

Hermes: 1/10: He would drink it. With no remorse.

Hephaestus: 5/10. I think he would hold my drink. But I think he would guve it back to me different. Like he added other ingredients to make it “better”.

Dionysus: 0/10 No.

[miss-girlbossing]

Amen.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

I WILL NOT MAKE PURCHASES ON IMPULSE

I WILL REPAY ALL MY DEBTS

MY LIFE IS NOT OVER

I WILL EAT OATS AND FRUITS

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE PEOPLE WHO WERE ONCE IN MY LIFE ARE DOING NOW

[taelophone]

wdf Luigi doin downtown??😭😭

[nanoa1foryou]

Joker out still failing at being Käärijä's favourite band. The hotband boys stay winning.

[miss-girlbossing]

Speak, soup.

Poking the bowl with a stick.

It's Autumn, which means if I make a Big Pot of Soup it will Fix Everything. No one fact check me on this. We need to let the soup speak for itself.

[allieslobster]

had a dream that a byler confession and kiss scene leaked and now I’m left unfed and suicidal

[threebea]

Do you think his full name is Sheeven Palpatine?

[sebastians-asks]

How’s my pookie wookie~?

Pookie wookie wants a fucking break from it all.

[animeandcatholicism]

This is why they need pt belts

[dipcontainer]

being partners through life like actual soulmates with a picky eater is such a tough break. “Phil doesn’t eat chocolate” “Phil doesn’t like red wine” “I eat spaghetti when Phil is out of town because he doesn’t like cheese” somebody free this poor man. what DOES Phil like?

[i-dont-just-suck-blood]

oh, so when you say "bros before hoes," it's okay

but when I moan "big bro" during it, I'M the one in the wrong ?!

- jeff ♡