#this is Tobias’ band he can do whatever the hell he wants with it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inkrabbit · 2 years ago

Note

hi there, i hope you don’t mind my asking and feel free to disregard. i was just wondering if you have any tips on how to write the papas and/or ghouls? i’ve been wanting to write for some time now but am not entirely sure how to go about their characters. thank you, if you answer. no worries, if you don’t.

okay it is literally 4am rn. I only slept like 3hrs. originally I was gonna do a quick rundown of how I do it, but you know what fuck it. I'm gonna do the quick rundown and then below the cut, I'll go into my own more in-depth takes on them. spoilers: it's all literally just a vibe

so the quick version: there is no "right" or "wrong" way to write for Ghost. as someone once said: "there's like 5% of actual canon and 10% of what Tobias Forge has vaguely said during interviews. the other 85% is fanmade." everything you see? most likely people are looking at the stage performance, reading fics, following the nameless ghouls on social media, watched the Ghost chapters a few times, and then making up their own version. and it all works because nothing is really "set in stone" with any of these characters, aside from what we get from the videos they put out, the interviews and then how they act on stage. people have made complied posts for like... "get to know Ghost" which is just basic lore and basic info on both Papas and Ghouls. my personal favorite is this google slideshow and then "an unhelpful guide to ghost" on youtube by "just another sad zoomer".

so really, just say fuck it and go for it. you can look at everything I linked and you can also watch some of the concert videos online if you feel like you want more of a... "official" block to start from. you can also look at each Papa's albums to add a little bit to it.

now below the cut is the more in-depth version. it's literally gonna be just me rambling about my own takes so everyone, feel more than free to skip this. it's disgustingly long

starting off with the Papas because that's a lot easier.

not only did I look through everything I linked above, but I also looked through some fics. again, these are all basically hcs that people were like "aha sick, that'll work" and just ran with it, and then that idea was adopted by the reader and so on and so forth. really, without reading these fics, I wouldn't have known that Primo "has" a nature/plant obsession. and tbh I 100% fuck with it. so it's just little things like that that you can pick up and choose whether or not you wanna adopt that idea yourself. just like the band, all of these fics and artwork are for entertainment. there is absolutely no "wrong" way to do any of it.

for Primo's personality: to me, he's just an old, exhausted man that's done his time and is now riding out the rest of his years doing whatever the hell he wants. he cares greatly for his ghouls and the clergy, and while he's very warm and open, he can still be firm and hold that "authority" position. literally chapter 3 does not exist to me. like I know it's there but most of my fics don't acknowledge it

Secondo: to loosely quote Papaganda: "He's a miserable, old, wounded, bitter man." he's scary, he's firm, and he'll dropkick you if you've decided you don't want to show him respect. he's loud and explosive, especially when he's in a bad mood, but he's also more "free" and not as official. you might not want him to be your first choice at telling him all of your deepest, darkest secrets because he's very logical. he won't tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. but he's still your Papa and he'll always be there for you. a very fine, upstanding gentleman that might scream at you and his ghouls while using Italian-American slang, but he would never turn you away

Terzo: go have fun. he'll genuinely listen to you and anyone else, and he'll hold you close and cry with you if you ever need to vent. he's the most in-tune with emotions and he's the one that'll really make you feel heard. it doesn't matter if it's been a long day. it doesn't matter if he's drop dead tired or he's recently injured himself. he'll welcome you with open arms and absolutely no judgement and he'll help you work towards a solution to whatever is bothering you. if you want him there, he's with you every step of the way and if you want to do it alone, he'll give you your freedom and wish you well. sure, he's a little bit of a flirt, but we're all entitled to make others feel good, yeah?

Copia: he's awkward, shy, and his social skills aren't the best. he'd rather listen to your problems, but when he goes to answer... give him a bit. there's a hamster running desperately on a wheel inside his mind and that mf just flew off. but he looks at the other Papas and he sees how they acted. how successful they were and he tries to take bits and pieces of them and make them into his own because, hey. the fans and clergy loved them. they'll love him just as much if he has their elements, right? don't get me wrong, he still gives off the vibe of "mama's boy" but he's got a heart of gold and he's trying his best.

Nihil: HAHA. mans is just here trying to vibe. he's done his time, he kinda regrets his past, but he had a blast. he's firm and a little cold to your face, but don't let that front fool you. if you genuinely have a problem and you go to him, he'll absolutely melt and take you into his arms. I've used this term a couple times with other characters, but I feel like he is the true embodiment of "everyone forgot me." he's proud of the project. he's proud of Sister Imperator and all she's done and continues to do. and he's secretly proud of how far his sons have come. but it hurts that no one remembers him and he keeps coming back for the rituals because it gives him a chance to be remembered.

as for the ghouls, my grasp on them is purely a fucking vibe. I take inspiration from people I've met in my life, take a hint of the people behind the mask and cram it together. I will admit, I only take a hint of their original personality for Aether, Rain, Swiss and Sodo. that's it. and for Rain, it's not that much. like maybe 1%. the rest comes from inspiration, concert content and then (again) just the vibe they give off. and it's why my content for Sodo is (imo) more out there than other fic writers. because my take on him is completely different, which is why I was so surprised when I saw a lot of people enjoy how I wrote him. and really, I'm going giving an in-depth look for the ghouls in this ask primarily because I don't have the ghoulettes as fleshed out as I do them.

Aether: he's the more "dad" of the group. he's always here for you and because of his element, you can't lie to him about how you're feeling. he won't push you, but he will give you that gentle nudge and remind you that he's here for you. he can become overwhelmed because of his powers, but he always apologizes for ever snapping at anyone. he just wants to have a good time and he wants to make sure that everyone else is having a good time, too. his happiness comes from the happiness of both the fans and the clergy.

Mountain: just here to vibe honestly. he's very laid-back and doesn't talk much. he'd rather observe than strike up conversation, but he also won't turn you down if you wanna chat. you can either find him lazing around or doing little things to occupy his time when he's not in practice. normally, like the others, he enjoys playing music, but he has a wide variety and will literally listen to anything.

Rain: he's trying his best. originally the shy little water ghoul, he's slowly opening up thanks to hanging around the other ghouls a lot. it's like watching a flower slowly bloom, and every praise and compliment he gets only furthers his bloom. he's still a little shy when you talk to him, especially if it's one-on-one, but he's gonna give it his all. he sees how open and playful the others are. he wants to be the same way and dammit, he's working towards it.

Sodo: there's a few ways I do Sodo. what I normally default to is the more playful, little sarcastic, tough front who says it like it is. he's got a possession problem when it comes to romance, and he'll normally show a more softer side. this soft side is pretty much a complete 180 from his stage performance and goes more off of the man behind the mask. this version is more soft spoken with a hint of awkward, but he's so genuine and his smiles are just as warm as the pits of hell. he knows how to have a good time, he wants you to have a good time with him, but he also occasionally likes to just be on his own and do his own thing.

Swiss: he's here to vibe too, but he's making sure you're vibing with him. honestly, Swiss takes a lot of inspiration from my mom's friend, Richard, who is so easy-going and chill, but also mixes in that playful and energetic vibe. it's hard to say I use the "man behind the mask" for him because, really, what you see on stage is just how he is. if someone asked me what I thought joy incarnate looked like, I would say Swiss from Ghost.

now, as for the other ghouls and all that jazz... look, I don't know. it's still a fucking vibe. you wanna hear a secret? I think from like 2010 to.... 2016??? the ghouls were literally the same musicians (except for the bassists, drummers and even Swiss). I won't put their names, that's up to you if you wanna look it up and ruin that "nameless" image. but even with this idea, I still have it that each Papa summoned their own ghouls, and those ghouls take after their energy. however, I also have it that Copia wasn't exactly the best when it came to summoning, so he uses some of Terzo's ghouls. I say some because... I think Aether and Sodo were around with Terzo, where Sodo (originally Dewdrop) was still playing bass and considered a "water" element. don't quote me on any of this either. it's shit I've seen on tumblr and was like "oh okay. I'll make a little mental note of that" and went on my merry way. still, I have a "general" pool of each Papa's ghouls and how they typically respond.

Nihil's: they're unpredictable and a little hostile. they serve Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator and that's it. the water ghoul is actually a little more friendly with the fire ghoul being the biggest asshole. this one will stalk and go through extra steps to make sure he stays undetected. in contrast, the water ghoul will actually invite you to swim with him if he's feeling particularly lonely. he won't ever attack anyone. just like Nihil, he wants to feel like he's not forgotten.

Primo's: quiet and cold, his ghouls know their job and they do it perfectly. they're not hostile, but they also don't want you near Primo as they're pretty protective of him. one of the ghouls actually doubles as his bodyguard and will always be with him, unless told to give him his space. they exactly want you near them, but they won't lash out unless provoked.

Secondo's: similar to their Papa, Secondo's ghouls are all uniform and do their jobs. however, unlike Primo's ghouls and similar to Secondo's personality, they all have a tendency to slip up and become lost in life's simple pleasures. they also have a tendency to be aggressive and, in rare cases, hostile and violent. don't be too scared of them, but don't get too close, either.

Terzo's: they're more open and laid-back, with the biggest possibility of slipping up. they're actually the least hostile, being even more friendly than the ghouls that Copia has. not only will they serve Terzo and protect him, but they'll also happily help the clergy members and, if they're around and think they can take on the older ghouls, they'll protect siblings when attacked.

and that's about it. if you've made it this far, thanks for looking through at my ranting!

#asks #thanks for coming to my TED talk #FULL DISCLOSURE: under the cut it's almost 2k words #so take that for what you will #literally took me an hour and 40min to complete this #just mama Rabbit on one of her stupid rambles again

16 notes · View notes

hopecountyisforlovers · 4 years ago

Text

conversation;

rating: general. tw for ... discussion of religious concepts ??

pairing: summerseed ( john x tobias )

words: 466

summary: more roleswap summerseed since you all liked it so much the last time !! ive been writers blocked as all hell but im proud i finally came out with something

----------x----------

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." It's just like their first conversation, the one that still lives in the flutter behind his ribcage and the shiver that slides down his spine when blue eyes connect with his own.

"What would you do, if it wasn't a sin?"

John looks at him like he's grown another head, like the language he's speaking isn't English. Thousands of stars twinkle overhead, the moon fat and full and bathing them in white light- the grass is cool and just a bit damp beneath the grasp of his fingers, the crickets an unbroken, sourceless chorus around them that almost drowns out the sound of typical Friday night merrymaking. "Wh-what?"

"If nothing was a sin. If you were free to do whatever you wanted to do, and nobody would get mad at you for it, and there was no guilt, and no God to disappoint. If John could be whoever John wanted, who would John be? What would he do?"

"Th-that's....I..." Tobias is watching him intently, now, almost without his own permission, like John had become his new magnetic north. There is a sense of unraveling to him, of something just about to break and shatter, a twitch to his shoulders and a quiver to his lower lip. He watches him swallow hard, watches himself be stared at. When he speaks, his voice is so small the crickets could drown him out. "I don't know."

Again, without his permission, Tobias' small hand is resting on the curve of a bearded jawline. Again, there is that quiver, like an elastic band pulled too taut, a wetness to eyes as deep as the river that suggests he should back off. But their thighs are touching on the picnic blanket spread out beneath them, a cool breeze wraps around him and gifts him with the scent of high-priced cologne, and from somewhere far away an acoustic guitar begs them to keep going. "You really can't think of anything?"

There is an instant after this invitation where everything is still- where the stars do not twinkle and the crickets do not chirp and the moon holds her breath.

Until John's lips smash against his own, artless and desperate and unpracticed. There is a cacophony within him, one that spills into Tobias where they are joined, one evident in how a large hand twists its fingers firmly into his hair, in how he claims his mouth between ragged breaths, in how it stirs his insides. He tastes salt, can feel him shake, can feel his own cheeks flush and his heart race and his stomach flip like he was being spun in circles. Tobias has kissed many men- more than he can count, more than he would attempt to.

He wishes this could have been his first.

#my writing #f/o: john #hhhhhhhhhhhhhh im not entirely happy with it but #it played out well with test audiences so like #just take it fjkdslfkljs

27 notes · View notes

silverandarsenic-hcs · 4 years ago

Note

you seriously make the ghoulettes out to be the most basic, boring characters in your headcannon posts, almost Mary Sue like. The male characters have characteristics, quirks, they’re kinda dumb sometimes, but the ghoulettes are just adorable, flawless, teach the male characters how to do things, never not know how to do things and when you made one post about all of their flaws, the ghoulettes ‘flaws’ paled in comparison to the male characters. The male chapters had actual flaws while theirs were something stupid like “she forgets to put things away”. Not to mention you put them together in every post, you don’t characterise them seperately, it’s as if they don’t exist without the other. Honestly, what the hell. Is this how you think good female characters are written?

Well this is the longest hatemail we’ve ever received so you get a gold start but i have a lot to say: when I showed up to the fandom, people cared about the same amount they do now when it comes to writing anything for them: spoiler alert, it’s zero. The only way I have seen them written is being cute and wonderful and good at everything, and that’s how I’ve seen them act on stage.

i don’t include them a lot of the time because respectfully I dont wanna subject them to the kind of horrors we subject the rest of them too. listen very closely: On stage, every one of the ghouls has a flaw, or a flaw could easily be pulled from everything we know about them already. thats where I got the flaws from in that post, and how I wrote them. i don’t see a flaw as deep as i do with the rest of the ghouls, in the ghoulettes. I put them together in every post because, wait for it, they’re together all the time. they are literally never apart on stage. The only three women in the entire Ghost Universe are at best C list characters, the way they were put into the story, and if you have a problem, take that up with tobias himself. You can also take up that the only three female characters he created are the ghoulettes, good and sweet and “mary sue”, and Sister, who is the angry old bitch lady. Please feel free to post your own HCs for the ghoulettes that are deep characters with quirks and flaws and everything, because it sounds like you have something to share with the class

with all that being said, I am gonna try and find out more about them in general and their more specific personalities, and go from there to fill in whatever I can’t find in order to make sure they’re characters have much more depth than just being the token girls in the band. It’s never that I don’t want to write or include them, especially because they’re women, there just isnt a lot for me to even begin with aside from them being Wonderful. There you go. You got everything you wanted. A pissy reply to your pissy ask, and that I’m gonna do something about it. now aren’t you having the best day ever?

- Rosie

5 notes · View notes

elichorph · 4 years ago

Text

𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗞 𝟬𝟬𝟮 ( 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬 ) ↝ 𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗝𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚

pov: your name is avery jeong and you are being kicked out of your house and family at age 18 because your sister snitched about some drunk mistake you made 2 years ago

as of right now, avery has no relationship with his parents and a minimal relationship with his sister, lilia. however, avery was always treated as the baby of the family. he was set to take over the drug ring when he got older and was given minimal information about it to shelter and protect him from anything that could potentially make his views on the family’s business turn sour. despite this, avery really had no plans to actually take over the business and was going to hand over the position to lilia once she became old enough even though he didn’t tell anyone about this. before avery got the chance to step up, lilia told their parents about how he had broken one of the main family rules by telling someone he’d just met at a party about what the jeong family really did behind the big pharm cover. their parents were absolutely livid and forced avery to move out and denounced him from the family.

refer to liza’s task for more family info idk we really just hate these parents so bad

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦

𝗠𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 ↝ iris jeong

our least favorite capricorn sun gemini moon out there! god this woman is the worst! song seonmi fc, this woman is LETHAL. iris’ side of the family were the ones who started the drug ring so miss thing was seriously into it. it was her life, she grew up with it, and she took it so seriously that anyone could tell. she had extremely high expectations for avery to take over too and had originally planned to school him on family law and how the business worked as soon as he could walk, but eventually ended up babying him when it came to preparing to the position thank to her arranged husband’s influence. iris kind of let avery do his own thing growing up, made sure he was on top of his grades and was the one who suggested that he go to a specialized school just to make sure that he was reaching his top brainiac potential to be smart enough to run the show. the little that avery knew about the drug ring came from iris too, but she would always here comes the choo choo train it into his brain so it wasn’t too much for him to take. she knew her son was smart and fit to take over, but she feared him not being able to do so which was frankly her own fault. honestly receiving any sort of care from iris is out of character she literally is scary as hell. their relationship? really didn’t have one. i guarantee if you asked either of them at any point in time to name one personal fact about the other, they wouldn’t be able to come up with one. they just worked as mom and son, stood respectfully at a yard’s distance and only interacted when they needed to for the sake of the family. however, they Really interacted after lilia snitched on avery. iris was the one who came up with the idea to kick avery out and was so assured in her idea that she didn’t rest until he was out of the house and never came back that night. even though they have had no contact in the five years since avery was forced to leave, iris continues to blame every single family issues that arises on avery even if he has nothing to do with it. avery holds so much resentment for iris that it frankly makes him sick!!!!!!!!! and while he might be able to forgive lilia and his father, iris will never be on the docket.

𝗙𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 ↝ tobias jeong

tobs ... the tobster ... aqua sun cancer moon brain rot. this man fixed up an old jeep and made it his entire personality. ya’ll ever had one of those science teachers that couldn’t spell and always lost their glasses when they were really on their head? yeah that’s him. also a certified doormat. and maybe a kim joohun fc but like give him more bill nye wannabe looking vibes. avery and his father had a good relationship for the most part. tobias was really chill, understood maybe 1/3 of what happened in the family. he tried to stand up for avery and lilia in certain situations and understood that iris was absolute trash (even he didn’t truly want to marry her, it was more business between their families than anything), but he was so compliant that he never actually made an impact. however, tobias was the one that truly made avery’s childhood ... good. he’d pick up avery from school in that old jeep he fixed up, play some classic dad music, and drive around for a while so they didn’t have to go see iris so soon. the night avery got kicked out, tobias was the one that actually stuck up for avery. even though it was one simple statement that maybe avery should stay, it was the only time anyone stood up for avery that night. of course, tobias was quickly shut down by iris and he didn’t try to have avery stay after that however he probably feels so much regret for not doing more that night. avery truly was so angry that tobias didn’t try to do more to get him to stay, but like it’s whatever! what the fuck was tobias supposed to do! a few months after avery was kicked out, he actually called his dad at a super low point ( see this gif set ) but even then tobias wasn’t willing to fight for avery to try to come back even after hearing at how he had nothing and didn’t know what to do. avery never truly hated his dad, but he now resents him for not trying when there is so much more he could have done.

𝗦𝗜𝗕𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦

𝗦𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 ↝ lilia jeong

if there was one member of the jeong family that avery truly loved, it was lilia. avery loved being her big brother. he cared for her more than anybody in his life and truly thought she was capable of so many good things which is why he never had any intentions to take over the drug ring. avery had always wanted that position to go to her because he believed that lilia was the right one to take it because she easily could have done so much better than he could’ve. growing up, avery wasn’t that much of an open book as he is now. if he had a secret though, lilia was the first one to know. he basically told her everything, from explaining some project he’d been working while they walked through an apple orchard or the biggest mistake he’d made in his life which was spilling the family secret. the last thing he was expecting was for lilia to tell their family about that, especially after so long and in a manner that seemed almost self serving after she promised to keep it a secret. even though lilia's decision to snitch literally turned his life upside down and really fucked him over, he’s never been able to see lilia as anything besides his sister. sure, he’s felt true betrayal and never thought he would get screwed over like that, but avery is always one for second or third or fourth or fifth chances even in situations like this. no matter how hard avery wanted to convince himself that he didn’t want lilia in his life, he was never able to do it. lilia always stayed his emergency contact even when they weren’t speaking and no matter how many new people avery met that were closer to new haven hospitals.

for now though, their shit is tbd! avery is too afraid to talk to lilia about everything because bringing up the past pains him and he’s also unsure of how things will work out. also, he’s most likely expecting an apology first and foremost. everyone knows they’re siblings, but the reason why they’re not close are all lies. they tell everyone that they grew apart and lilia began to tell others that avery fucked up a business deal and made the choice to leave the family which avery goes along with simply because he assumes it’s what lilia wants. sometimes he wished that they actually had just grown apart rather than having to experience all the shit that happened.

even if avery knows he’s already willing to give lilia another chance, he wants an apology and he knows he’s deserving of that at the very least. until then, you can catch avery gazing longingly into the windows of music shops at acoustic guitars that resemble the one he would always play on for lilia and had to leave behind after being kicked out. those same few songs are always stuck in his head. avery hasn’t been able to eat ripe peaches anymore because the taste reminds him of sticky handed food fights and hiding one in their parents’ closet to rot. one time he went on a date with a girl whose favorite band was the moldy peaches and he promptly left to throw up in the bathroom. every time he would enter the underground fighting ring he would try not to lose because that meant lilia might have to get the call that he wasn’t alright even though he wanted her to know if anything happened to him.

#elitetasks002 #⌗ 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 | 𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔

3 notes · View notes

tisthenightofthewitch · 6 years ago

Text

GHOST // Arise From Leviathan’s Shadow

Mar 25, 2019 / WORDS Tom Valcanis / PHOTOS Elizabeth Sharpe

At Download Australia this year, Ghost had the toughest gig of all. Playing at the same time as Slayer. At the last time Slayer would ever play. Ouch.

Tobias Forge, aka Cardinal Copia, must have marshalled all his diabolical powers to pull punters away from the last chance to experience Raining Blood or Angel of Death. Ghost’s singular blend of pop and apocalyptic metal is a sight and sound to behold. The flock is shepherded by the mesmeric Cardinal Copia as bandleader and high priest of sin. Cardinal Copia might be a character in an elaborate charade; but what of the man behind the vestments? Talking to Tobias Forge out of uniform and relaxing against a boudoir-like velour booth trimmed in a royal purple, he sits cross legged, wrapped in leather battle-jacket. He’s unassuming. He wears well-combed hair that doesn’t touch his ears. Ripped jeans at the knees and a Voivod Dimension Hatross t-shirt. If you didn’t know what he looked like, you’d never guess he led a worldwide congregation of metal fanatics. Even so, Ghost’s many influences he wears on his lapel: King Diamond (of course), Kreator, and a mandatory Slayerbadge. So what lent Mr. Forge such reverence for the arcane and black arts? We find out in a post-Download audience with the Cardinal …

How were the shows? Playing up against Slayer must have been a rare honour and challenge.

It was what it was. We did this for a higher purpose, and that is to come back and do the full thing.

Was it a success giving Australian fans a live taste of Prequelle?

I think it was successful because we came down here, rekindled our relationship with the promoter, and rekindled our relationship with media again, and to the fan base that we had, that it seems to have expanded even though we haven’t been here for five years.

Wow, it has been a long time.

The goal was to get back here and get the promoter to understand that you need to get us back and not play a festival. That was my only goal of coming.

In Prequelle, the album touches on the black death and apocalyptic themes. The end times. With so many crises happening around the world today, would you be forgiven for thinking the same thing today?

Yes, but I don’t think it necessarily has to be apocalyptic. I hope that there are enough people in the world believing in a fruitful, peaceful society, that would actively or are actively working for the apocalypse not to happen, the apocalypse being, I guess, the end of the world. I even think so even with presidents in charge. If he was really, really, really dangerous, for real, no one is that stern of a believer in democracy that they would just, “Oh, but this is the president you chose. He can do whatever he wants in the name of democracy.” If he was really, really, really, really, really close to destroying the world, they would shoot him in the back of his head.

Do you think it’s just divisive rhetoric? People talking tough?

I think the guy in charge as of this moment is obviously a great example of worsened rhetorics. I think that the risk of having him around is obviously multiple different things, but I think it’s the idea of refraining from sophisticated sort of politics talk that is sometimes still needed. There is a certain code, there’s a certain mannerism that I think is worth learning. This goes from everything from a 12 year old talking to a 90 year old. You just need to shape your lingo in order to be able to manoeuvre yourself between different age groups and different people. I speak to, in one way, if I talk to my buddies, I speak in a different way than if I talk to a 65 year old executive. I think that that is an art form, and that most people should master it in some way or form.

I think that if you have a so called master in charge who looks down upon that, shuns away from that, I think that that’s remarkable. Now I’m obviously just talking about rhetorics and linguistically, but I’m talking about the, as you say, rhetorics and how you speak to the world. I understand that a lot of people like politicians that say direct things and is witty and all that. Yes. Let’s move forward, but I think that there’s also a level of levelheadedness that I think a politician should do. I think that this is just a side step. It will probably go back a little bit to what it is in the rest of the world and what it has been before.

Ghost talks about fire, hell, and brimstone—is that a place you have thought about? A physical manifestation of hell?

Ever since I was a very little kid, I’ve always been interested in religion, and specifically obviously Hebrew religion, just because I grew up in a Christian country. Cinematically as well, I grew up watching a lot of biblical films. I’m talking about The Ten Commandments, Ben Hur, stuff like that, The Temptation of Christ. So, I’ve always been very fascinated by things like that. When I came into adolescence and started getting fascinated by occult and satanic themes, of course, I’m an imaginative person, so I do have a lot of visual fantasies about what it is or could be. But my fantasising aesthetic younger self is also holding a little bit more of a rational grown up person, and we’re struggling together to try to figure out how things are. But I could sit here and ponder ’til my dying days, because I have no idea. No one else knows, anyway.

The limited view of Scandinavian spirituality, we get from black metal. The Hel Vete circle. Church burnings. Those on the outside assume Scandinavia is this region steeped in Christian dogma and practice.

Yes. From a greater political point of view, Christianity has not been very dominant in Sweden in the modern day and age, but more on a local and municipal level. Where I come from, there were and there are still more mundane forces in society that is controlled by church or churches. They’re more private churches like that.

So it’s not like Poland, where Catholicism is so intertwined with civil society. Which makes Nergal of Behemoth such a vocal anti-theist, I suppose.

From a little person point of view in a little city, there are definitely things that I have, throughout my life, been rebelling against. But Sweden is nowhere near … we don’t really have the same Christian church presence from a law making point of view that they have in Poland. I come from a pretty secular country where you can basically say almost anything you like.

Almost anything.

Yeah. There are obviously some PC things that sort of makes certain things not okay, but anything that has to do with Satanism and all that, that’s fine.

Satanism seems to be a bit old hat now. People are shocked by seemingly more mundane political things these days.

Yes. I mean, of course. This is a conversation that I have more than often when I am outside of Scandinavia, because I’ve never regarded Ghost as being that provocative. Because I come from, again, a secularised country where freedom of speech is quite cherished. I come from a country where metal has always been very strong, where black and death metal had a big proving ground. Also, it’s part of my DNA, since I’ve been a rock fan for as long as I can remember. I’ve been a black and death metal fan ever since I was 11 years old, something like that. For me, writing Satanic lyrics and throwing around upside down crosses and pentagrams and goats and all that, for me, is so natural that it’s not as much of an appliance as it was for people in the Satanic panic, 1969. Because then it was something that you did because it was groovy with your 20 year old friends. You were also 20 years old, and two years ago you didn’t even know what Satanic was.

So, for me, it was never meant as a, “This is a way to upset mainstream media.” Never, because I didn’t even thought that we were going to be in anything remotely like any mainstream media. Whereas in America now when we have achieved some sort of mainstream following, they regard sometimes our image and my choice of presenting myself and then the band as radical, provocative imagery.

Really? Still?

Yes. I understand intellectually, of course, that it’s regarded like that, but that was never the intent. I find it more mind boggling that a lot of the provocation that we cause is actually within the metal realms of people who are puritan and have a hard time labelling us what we are and why we are metal or not.

So the puritanism comes from certain sections of metaldom itself; thou shalt not mix pop with metal. That kind of thing.

From a progressive point of view, yes. But if we were talking about old school death metal, I would be very opinionated in a way that would probably come off as similarly closed minded. So, I completely understand where those tendencies come from, so I don’t grieve that someone doesn’t like us because we don’t sound as metal as Mercyful Fate does. It’s like, “It’s fine.”

We’ll be touring consecutively ’til the end of the year, and then I’m due back in the studio in January.Between January and May, I hope that we will be doing a few minor tours, possibly returning here. That’s my goal for at least here, to come back within this album cycle and do it properly. Happy?

I think I am, Tobias. I think I am.

ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY HYSTERIA MAGAZINE

#Tobias Forge #Tobias Interview #the band ghost #Cardinal Copia

113 notes · View notes

ghoulette-pearl · 6 years ago

Text

Closed starter for @infxrnalpsalms

If there was one way to annoy Pearl, it was to have her sit and wait in a dim antechamber when she had a mountain of tasks to complete. She was a busy ghoul. It was the lot of any summoned ghoul to be precisely as busy as their mandate required. How often had a lazy ghoul been dragged back to Hell? She didn’t often dwell on the thought, knowing it was useless to worry over something that would, hopefully, never happen to her. No matter how much she liked to bend the rules. It was a good way to combat the stress of wondering if each job had been enough.

It was, however, vastly different when a ghoul was simply spent. It was, to Pearl’s understanding, much like retirement. Something she occasionally wondered about, yet did any of the ‘management’ ghouls ever take a break? Her one exception had been around the same time as another management ghoul’s. Their kit had just been born and they both took time off to raise and rear their new addition to the earthly ghouls ranks.

The little water ghoul hadn’t been just another body, not to them… And not to the Ministry, it was rare for summoned ghouls to breed on earth, which had afforded them time. Pearl was grateful and so was her mate.

The elder water ghoul was smiling to herself, enjoying the memories of how lovely it had been with all three of them. She was still smiling when the door opened and a far too serious Sibling of Sin beckoned her in. Her smile went from warm and gentle to something more within the realm of professionalism, her hands smoothed her uniform, and she followed the Sibling inside.

She let her thoughts wander as they walked through the dimly lit corridor. Papa Nihil didn’t quite care for a great deal of sunlight in his designated areas of the abbey, not that she blamed him--his eyes were milky white and likely overly sensitive. Several lifetimes of wandering these corridors made it easy to zone out properly, though she mostly wondered what would become of her now that her kit was grown and there was actually an unmasked and public face for the Ministry. There wasn’t much need for one like her, Special had been necessary for many years and now he was considering venturing back to the depths of Hell for his reward.

Sometimes, like now, Pearl was wishing she was doing the same instead of reporting for duty once more.

Giving herself a mild shake, she’d fold her arms behind her back and follow the Sibling at a less leisurely, distracted pace. Her suspicion that the Sibling was entirely too serious was reinforced when they opened the door for her, not even blinking. Either this one took their duties very seriously or was merely a meat puppet at this point. Whatever the case, Pearl thanked them and continued inside.

The dimly lit room held enough candles to bathe the walls in a warm orange glow, giving just enough light to see the horrors unfold in the frescos on the walls. Occasionally, she wondered if Papa Nihil had been there to see them painted. Even more occasionally, she wondered if he had painted them himself. She’d cleaned enough stains off his robes and his hands to have suspicions of the old one playing with egg yolks and pigments.

Laying eyes upon the infernal family, she had that same calm, professional smile in place. They were seated at a long, narrow desk that curved in a great semi circle. It resembled an old tribunal where the fates of errants knights and would be kingslayers had their fates decided by lofty men in well carved chairs.

It felt a lot like that in this moment, but the female stood tall before bowing her head to Papa Nihil, the leader of the Church.

“Good morning, Papa.” She smiled and raised her head before bowing her head a second time.

“Sister.” The true head of the Church, no one could tell her any differently, sat as his left. She nodded to the ghoul, though didn’t really see her, wrapped up in the neverending paperwork before her. Pearl didn’t take the Sister’s nature personally, it was hard work being, if not the head, then the neck of the Church. Her opinion on which she was varied by the day.

“Cardinal,” she bowed her head for Copia, Nihil’s right hand, aptly seated at his right. None of his sons appreciated this in the slightest. Pearl liked the aptly named Rat Man as a small brown rat was currently sitting on his foot, watching like the good little sentry she was. Catarina, she thought she was. He was the model for the current face of the band they had put together and he liked to pretend he was offended but really, he enjoyed the performances. He’d responded with his ever polite ‘hullo’.

“Papa,” she said to the First, her smile a touch warmer for the old man who had summoned her in his youth. He’d had hair then, lush and dark. Emeritus the First was not shy about a warm smile for his ‘pearl beyond price’.

“Papa.” Less warmth for the second Emeritus, he had never treated his ghouls well, but she respected his abilities. That was about it. His temper could kiss the darkest part of her gray ass, even if she had helped raise him. Perhaps especially on account of that. He barely managed a raised eyebrow in her general direction.

“Papa.” The youngest had half a grin for the elder water ghoul, one that was briefly returned before she straightened up before the table of powerful men and one extremely powerful woman.

“Good morning, Pearl.” The ancient father of three wheezed, taking a drag of his oxygen. He had always given the ghouls names, not very imaginative ones, but he had taken the time and that might have endeared Nihil to many of them. Though ghouls could be fickle creatures.

“You sent for me, Papa?” Pearl always made it a question rather than a statement, played even slightly demure for collective egos of the clergymen and women. She was always on her best behavior in these settings, too many hard learned lessons over too many years.

“Yes, my dear. We have a new assignment for you.” Ah, she’d been wondering when that might happen. For all the love some of the clergy bore for their ghouls, there was rarely one who did not have a use. Now that her kit was grown and off on his grand assignment, it was her turn for a new one.

“Of course, where am I being placed?”

“We’re having you take up Special’s old position.” This from the Sister, finally having torn her eyes away from whatever report she’d been reading. The band was a considerable expense at first, but now it was quite possibly one of their most profitable avenues. Pearl could feel her brows raising skyward, having been part of the crew once before. She’d known the young man who performed, but very little of him other than his pedigree. Hell, she’d seen him only a handful of times out of costume and then it was usually onto the next project.

“Well?” This from the Second, who may or may not have gotten the look he deserved for what spilled from his mouth next. “If you are not up to the task, we will find someone else. You have been thinking about returning to your wretched ocean, have you not?” Pearl and the Second had never gotten along.

“Let have a chance to speak, brother.” The Third chimed, shooting his elder brother a look. Was he still sour about their nanny ghoul being strict with them still? “Maybe she’ll take you over her knee again--wouldn’t that be fun, fratello?”

“Not helping.” Pearl had helped raise the two youngest Emeritus brothers and had never been afraid of putting them in their place. What had started as helping had turned into the ghoul losing some of that carefully constructed professionalism. Clearing her throat, she ended up eyeing the youngest brother until he bit his lip and settled down. His elder brother, however, was rather annoyed.

“If we could get back to the matter at hand?” The eldest rasped, looking like he’d much rather be in his part of the abbey, taking confession, writing a sermon, anything other than watching his brothers attempt to go at it in front of their father, Sister, and the Cardinal who was poised to replace them all.

“Quite right, Papa. I was about to say that I would be happy to accept the position. From what little I know of Tobias, he’s a bright young man with a brilliant musical mind and has actually increased the size of our congregation several times over. Though I must ask--does he really need minding? I understand in the beginning when Special was with him, but I can see him doing quite well on his own.”

“Therein lies the problem, Pearl. The way he portrays the clergy is nothing short of a mockery.”

A true one, she thought. He’d pegged them all perfectly, even if he had exaggerated a bit, and that was likely the problem.

“And you want me to… What? Attempt to rein him in?” The Third shook his head, drumming his fingers on the table.

“Guide him. You were an excellent influence on us,” the Second snorted. “Most of us. We only hope to steer Tobias on the right path. You understand?”

“Perfectly.” So they did want her to rein him in. That was a joke born of foolish pride. But still, she bowed her head. “Will that be all?”

“For now, if anything changes, we will contact you.” This from the Sister, to whom the ghoulette bowed properly before turning it into a sweeping gesture reminiscent of the Cardinal’s representation on stage. Just for the Hell of it.

“Go meet him, explain why you’re there and that you’ll be his guardian until further notice.”

“Yes, Sister.” Pearl turned to go with one final bow.

“Oh and Pearl? Try to enjoy yourself.”

The elder water ghoul turned on her heel and hurried off, letting the binding steer her with all the speed of a ghoul given an order. This would be fun, or so she was trying to convince herself. Tobias wasn’t part of the Emeritus line, that she knew of, nor was he a member of the clergy…

With a start, she stopped half way to her quarters and just smiled a great, wicked, terrible smile.

She didn’t have to take orders from him.

With that thought in mind, the elder ghoul did an abrupt about face and headed right for where they housed him. She was still smiling that wicked smile when she knocked on his door.

#infxrnalpsalms

3 notes · View notes

dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years ago

Text

Caramel Skin Under a Vanilla Sky prt 25 full draft

Running up to the command room of the Telula, Lance had no idea what was going. One moment he'd been trying to get dressed, the next the ship lurched and he was sent falling face first into his wardrobe. Dressing as he ran, he threw himself up the stairs while trying to straighten out the long sleeve shirt he'd finally got on around the right way "Leandro! We're under attack" "Have they hailed us? Shields on full!" Swaying as he tried to reach the closest desk, Lucteal was acting far too reckless with his Telula "It's a small ship. The only one we've come across in the sector. There seems to be some hull damage according to the scans" "Us or them?!" He was going to kill them if they'd damaged his baby. There were less than a quintant out from the Atlas. His symptoms were finally dying down, enough that he was planning on trying coming off the red pills, though each time he thought of the pills he did finding him craving them so maybe it wasn't quite time yet... and not in the middle of being attacked "Them. First strike was a glancing blow. Shields on full. Not getting a response on comms" "Bring us in closer. If they need help, they may be firing out of fear" "Are you sure?" "It wouldn't be the first time that's happened. Keep trying their comms. I'm going to prep to embark" "Leandro, we don't know..." "Look, they either need help, or they want to kill me. Either way, I want a line open to them" Leaving Zak and Lucteal, yelling at him, barreling down the stairs he smacked right into Daehra "Leandro! Slow down" "Sorry, Star. I have to go get dressed" "What is happening?" "There's a ship firing at us. We don't know if it needs help yet. Electric's at the helm... and I need to change" All that effort for clothes he now needed to swap out of everything. He liked this shirt. Keith had gotten it for him, the khaki the same as the old jacket he used to wear on the castle. It even had orange bands on the arms. His wardrobe was now their wardrobe, so he was glad there was enough variety in there that Keith wasn't always brooding in black... though if Keith "accidentally" wore his jeans again, he might have to toss him out the air lock for torturing him. Sliding past Daehra, she grabbed his arm "Does K-Meteor know?" "He was sleeping. He had a rough night" "You cannot leave without notifying him" Shit. She had a point. And his comms were still beside their bed... Hopefully Lucteal hadn't just patched it through and Keith was listening to a whole lot of yelling with no explanation "Ok. I need to hit up the armoury. He had some pretty bad nightmares last night, so might be a bit jumpy. Let him know to meet me there. We might need the medbay too" "Right..." Whatever Daehra wanted to say was lost by Lance jogging away. They didn't have time for this. The hull was damaged, oxygen could be haemorrhaging as they wasted time. Dressed in his Blade's outfit, Keith came into the armoury as Lance was lacing up his boots. It felt good to be in his full uniform, even if he didn't cut as an impressive figure as Keith did "What's happening?" "We were fired up. Electric's taking us closer while Zak's on the comms" "Taking us closer? If they're firing, shouldn't we be moving away?" "Their hull's damaged. They're probably firing in fear. I'll be performing a manual entry. I assume you were coming" "There's no way in quiznak I'm letting you go alone" "Good. We might need Kosmo. Star's prepping the medbay" "Are you sure about this?" "About what?" "About this? What if it's a trap?" "Then we blow their ship" They couldn't trust anyone to take prisoners in. If there were people on board, they'd need to adjust on this feet. He had cuffs, and tranqu guns on his belt "I can't talk you out of this, can I?" "Not when someone fires at my team. Do you have my comms?" "Yeah" Holding his hand out, Keith tossed him his communicator. Manipulating the screen, he connected himself to the Telula's comms "Electric, you read?" "Read you" "Patch Meteor in. Anything from them?" "Not yet. We'll be on them in 246 ticks" "Right. Meteor and I will attempt manual entry. Keep scanning the sector. I don't want any nasty surprises" "Already on it" "I know you are. We'll drop from lock 4" "Understood. Requesting access to Meteor's comms" "Right. Meteor, accept the call already" Lance was sure Keith was frowning as he accepted the incoming call "Connected. You're good to go" "Right. Taking discs. Keep an ear on out" "Will keep you appraised" "Thanks" Heading towards the airlock, Lance paused when Lucteal's voice came through his comms "Leandro, we raised them on the comms. You better come up here" "What's going on?" "They will only speak with the commander, and that would be you" "Who are they?" "Two Galra and another. All female" The groan that Keith gave was filled with annoyance "Does one have pink ears, two pink marks on her forehead and green lips?" There was a tick of silence "How did you know?" "Because they're my team. Dammit. I told Zethrid to stop pulling this bullshit. Guys you can all relax. Leandro, why don't you get changed? They probably flew out to meet us before we hit the Atlas. For quiznak's sake..." Cutting his comms, Lance felt like a kicked puppy. He was happy that there wasn't an emergency, but had sort of forgotten Keith had his own team... A team which he'd probably want to go back to once they'd reunited. It wasn't a great feeling. Jealousy turning to self hatred over such thoughts as he trudged back to the armoury to drop his weaponry off. Keith hadn't tried to say anything to him before they'd separated, Lance left feeling like invisible walls were already forming between them. They still hadn't had that talk, about what they were to everyone else... and maybe it was for the best now that Keith had his team back. He had people could rely on. Not some random guy from Cuba was never meant for great things. Leaving his bodysuit and mask on, the pain only got worse when he caught the sound of Keith's laughing as he trudged up the steps to the command room. He wanted to be the one to make Keith laugh like that. To make him smile and make him happy. Keith hadn't had that much to laugh about since he'd come back into Lance's life. Grateful his scent and self disgust were hidden by his armour, Lance forced himself to walk over to where Keith was standing. Zethrid took up most of the screen space, but Ezor was by her side. The pair seemed happy, or at least happy enough for Ezor to laugh at him "Is that Lance in there? He looks better like that!" Nudging her girlfriend, Zethrid growled "You're not supposed to be looking at him" "But he's on the screen! How can I not look at him?" Chewing her gum loudly, Ezor blew a large pink bubble, the gum popping and causing him to jump "We're only here for Keith" "You're no fuuuun" Yeah. The pair of them were happy. Happy reminding him no one wanted him. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to made to feel like the seventh wheel on his own ship "You can let them on board. It's better than them floating in that ship. I'll go make up a room for them" Keith shook his head without looking at him "They've got rooms on my ship. Kosmo can teleport them down there. It's only for a few vargas. We'll hit the Atlas tomorrow" "Right. I guess I'll go do something else then..." Finding something else to do involved emptying out their combined wardrobe. From what he could see and what he could remember Ezor liked to snoop, so he'd rather not have snooping through his private things only for her to find Keith's stuff. It's been like he barely existed when he'd been on the bridge... He'd known this was going to happen. Keith had so many options that weren't him. And now it was all going to be over before anything got better. Before he got better... It felt like packing up Allura's things all over again. Each little item held some stupid memory. The blankets on their bed came from Keith, so soft that he never wanted to climb out of them again. The clothes that actually fitted him, without being two sizes too big, Keith had had him "model" for him. The beauty products in the top drawer of the bedside table were bought to help with his itchy skin. The book under Keith's pillow made sense to neither of them, but it had pictures so they made up their own stories... there wouldn't be any more of that. Swearing it was the dust in the air, Lance wiped down Keith's room for him. Placing Keith's clothes in the closet, he supposed that he should have had Kosmo take them down to Keith's ship for him. Making Keith's bed for him, it again seemed pointless when he'd sleep on his ship. All of it'd been pointless. He should have run when Keith came walking back into his life. Keith was probably laughing with him team. Probably telling them how pathetic he'd become... and yet, he'd still walk through hell to help Keith. All Keith had to do was call and he'd come running. But Keith wouldn't call him now... * Standing in the command room of the Telula, Lance had avoided Keith since his team had come together to meet Zethrid, Acxa, and Ezor. Lucteal didn't like having them on the Telula, Daehra was cautious, not that he could blame them but they were learning that there were good Galra and making the effort for all their sakes. Zethrid had the vibe of a big bad Galra, her sense of humour didn't always translate, yet Tobias seemed to like her. Tobias also didn't realise that Zethrid and Ezor were a couple... he was a bit backwards in social interactions. Keeping the mask of Leandro in place, he could handle the jokes between Keith and the others. He could handle having Galra so close. He couldn't hate the whole race because of the actions of a few, and god knew everyone deserved a second chance. He didn't want to hate people because of his own insecurities. Keith shared a deca-phoeb's worth of memories with his team, so it was natural they had their own inside jokes. It was like Keith coming aboard the Telula and playing catch up all this craziness. He'd tried to join in during dinner, the official meet and greet, but he couldn't do it. Axca kept looking in his direction, Ezor kept teasing everyone, and Keith had his hands filled keeping the peace. Kosmo had come to his side, then left him for Acxa. Daehra had lied to help him, asking for his assistance then letting him be. He'd retreated to the bridge to watch the stars alone. Watching the Atlas come into view, they never did have that conversation. Lance had told Daehra to tell him to go ahead, Keith's ship was smaller after all. It was faster with better manoeuvring... plus, he couldn't look Keith in the face, feeling what he felt and knowing everything he was feeling was one sided "Hail the Atlas" God. He was about to talk to Shiro alone... Thank fuck for his mask. Keith was supposed to be by his side for this. In his mind they'd hook their little fingers together off screen, silently supporting each other. Not standing on the opposite sides of the screen on two different ships. Coming up on the monitors, Keith was already standing by Shiro. Veronica just behind and off to the side of both of them "Hey, Lance!" "Hey, Shiro. Long time and all that" Giving him a patented dad smile, Shiro looked good. He looked happy. Love must do that "Yeah, it has been. Where am I landing my girl?" "We're going to open hangar bay 5 for you" Pulling up a schematic map on his end, Lance nodded with some idea of where the hell he was going "Right. Thanks. Lucteal, take us in. ETA 4 doboshes" "I'll send Keith down to meet you there" "It's fine. We have things to do on our end. Shall we meet in the conference room in 20 doboshes" "I'm sorry Lance. We can't have unknown people walking around the Atlas..." Yeah. Sure. Shiro knew his fucking team was coming with him, what kind of bullshit was this?! They were with him. He wasn't about to endanger the Atlas, or not anymore than having a wanted criminal with 1.5 billion GAC bounty on his head would. Shifting his weight and standing taller, Lance glared at Shiro beneath his mask "Right. Hangar Bay 5. Got it" Landing in said hangar, Lance was completely done with the Atlas, despite the Telula only just touching down. Hangar bay 5 was only barely big enough for his girl to squeeze into with all the other shit down there. He'd thought Keith's ship would be close, but it just seemed to be prototype pods, or a whole lot of junk. It was nice to know he was so highly thought after... not. Coming to his side, Daehra shyly took his hand "It's Lance now, right?" "Yeah, Dae. Sorry. Can you feel my emotions?" "Yes. You are scared, but we will be by your side" "I know, Dae. It's just... all these people used to be my family and now I feel like I don't belong here" "It is only for a few quintants..." "I know..." "And Keith will be here for you too" God. He didn't want to think about Keith, or rather, he didn't want to keep thinking about Keith... He'd probably told Shiro all about how he was tortured and raped. He'd probably warned them all that Lance was dirt "Stop. I can feel what you are thinking. He cares for you more than that" "Look Dae, I know he says he does. But the moment his team came back, I ceased to exist. He and Shiro are practically on the same wave length. And I know it's really stupid, but standing before Shiro, I felt like I was back being a Paladin who was worthless. Voltron wasn't all team happiness. It was hard. Really hard towards the end. I don't feel like this place is where I should be, especially after we had to take such a long break. I want to get back out there and help other people, instead of hanging out here and... I'm sorry, I'm venting" "Maybe a little. You are our leader. You are strong. Is that not why you sent the others to revel camps to form an army?" "Not quite. I sent them to sure up support if we move against the outpost and prison facility... We need to know if they have lost people too" And because he didn't want them seeing him as the spineless coward he was. He didn't want them to see how lacking he was when compared to the great Shiro. He'd also sent them away because they weren't on board permanent. Two of them had come with Lasandi, so he wasn't sure why they'd still want to follow him around, and Th'al was lying low until the bounty on his head passed, so her support crew was moving to her location in the rebel camps. He wouldn't blame Lasandi or Th'al if they came after him. 1.5 billion wasn't anything to sneeze at "Come. The more we delay this, the worst your anxieties will be" Daehra holding his hand prevented him from scratching at his arms, or screaming his head off. Both options would be fine right about now "I know... God. I really wish I had my pills" "You have come so far. Do not let these people push you back" Smiling fondly at Dae, Lance nodded "When did you get so wise?" "I have always been wise" "That's true. Lucteal, Tobias, Zac, Gin, Chlo, Edra, let's go meet the commander" Lance was surprised that Shiro had come down to meet him with Keith. Smiling at him, Shiro seemed even taller than he'd remembered "Lance, its great to see you again" Sensing Shiro was going for a hug, Lance held out his hand for a handshake instead. Smoothly transitioning from the not-hug, Shiro shook his hand firmly "We've missed having you around. Keith's filled me on some of what's happened" "Keith has a big mouth" Shiro's lips twitches, Lance pulling back from the handshake before he made things worse or Shiro tried to hug him "This is some of my team. This is Daehra, and her brother Lucteal. My seconds in command. Then we have Zak and Tobias, and finally our support crew Gin, Edra and Chlo" Faint lines appeared on Shiro's brow as he drew it slightly "Is this everyone?" "The rest of my team are out running a mission for me. They'll rendezvous with us when we've left and cleared the sector" "Oh, right. I was expecting... never mind, I don't know what I was expecting. Let me show you up to your rooms. Pidge has already been here for a few quintants, and Matt arrives tonight. Coran tomorrow. He said he something special he had to finish up. Shay obviously suspects something is going on, Hunk keeps turning into a mess each time he explains why everyone is coming..." Paying polite attention, Lance fell into step behind Shiro. He might be the leader of his own team, but he still felt like he didn't deserve to walk beside him. As he moved, Keith went to place his hand on Lance's arm, Lance tearing his arm away before the touch landed. He had no idea what Keith wanted from him, but it was taking all he had not to flee as it was. He didn't have time for Keith to ask him if he was ok, when he obviously wasn't. He didn't want to hear about Shiro's concerns over what he was doing with his life. He was flooded with enough emotions and feelings as it was. If he lashed out, that would be it... His feelings were wavering again. He wanted to fall into Keith's arms, but the previous quintant still fucking stung. For the sake of his own mental health, Keith had to stay away from him, and he from Keith. He'd mentally allocated three quintants to this castle trip, and once that was over, he wasn't sure he wanted to see anyone ever again. The pain of his broken heart was affecting every aspect of his being, and he only had himself to blame. "Oi! Ugly!" Startled by the familiar voice, Lance span round with wide eyes. Standing down the end of the hall they'd been walking down, Rachel was waving like a lunatic. Veronica was standing by her side "Rachel...?" "Lance, do you know this person?" Sidestepping in front of him, Lucteal had gone on the guard "That's my sister. They both are..." "Your sisters?" "Yeah..." This was an unplanned hiccup in his plan. Swallowing hard, he knew he had to act "normal". Veronica would pry, but Rachel... Rachel was on a who other level... "Rachel and Veronica..." Flinching as a large hand landed on his shoulder, Lance didn't need to turn back to know it was Shiro "Your whole family came out for the party" Whole... family... oh... fuck... Jogging down the hall towards him, Lance pushed Lucteal aside at the last moment, catching an armful of his sister. Veronica much more calmly coming up behind to wrap her arms around both of them "Where have you been you idiot? Mami said you were on some mission with Keith, but you never like call anymore! Do you know how many times she's complained to me about how much of an idiot you are?" "Leave him alone, Rach. You're both idiots" Breaking the awkward sibling hug, Veronica looked to him expectantly. If she wanted him to the lose the face mask, that wasn't happening, but he could introduce them to his team "Rachel. Veronica. This is some of my team..." "I don't care about that, take the ridiculous mask off your stupid face" Making grabbing hands for it, Lance grabbed Rachel by the wrists "It's not ridiculous. It's for work. You that thing that some of us actually do" "Mhmm. You look like an imitation blade" "It does its job. Unless you want your poor brother shot to death" "Right. Like you do anything that dangerous. Take it off already..." Pulling Rachel off of him, Veronica sighed "You two never grow up. Mami and Papi are here, so is Marco. Luis stayed home with Lisa and the kids. Sylvio broke his arm playing soccer. He wasn't happy to be benched" "Is he alright?" "Yeah. More upset he can't play. Doesn't mean he doesn't try to" God... Lance had no idea. He'd been too caught up in himself. Why hadn't his mother messaged? It might be a simple break, but it didn't mean he didn't care... maybe they didn't want him making contact with the kids after all his breakdowns on Earth? Lance would always be a loser like that "Anyway, what took you so long?" "I don't come over to this sector, my work is like galaxies in the other direction" Looking Daehra, Rachel sighed deeply "Does he actually work? Or does he fly around pretending he does?" Daehra was the wrong person to ask. The poor woman could feel everything "Rachel, leave Daehra alone. She's my team's medical officer. She knows all kinds of fun things to drug you up with" "Pffft. Yeah, Right. Even thousands of miles from home, you're still a douche" "And you're still a bitch. V, where's mami?" "They're having lunch in the dining area. Shiro was supposed to surprise you down there, but Rachel couldn't wait" "That sounds about right. Shiro, were are our rooms?" "Just along the hall here. We didn't know how many you were bringing so most of this hall is empty" "Right. We'll decide rooms later. Apparently I have a family I need to see" His own false bravado was surprising himself. Walking back the way they came, his team were all curious over his sisters, except for Zak who hated walking on the best of days and would rather be down in the Telula. If he'd known his family would be waiting, he would have worn something over his suit. Now he'd have to live with Rachel teasing him over being a fake blade... which she did as she poked at him the whole back through the Atlas. * Keith had no idea what he'd done, only that Lance refused to look at him. Each time he reached out, Lance moved away, and each time he caught Daehra's gaze she'd give him a sad smile before looking away. He didn't get what had suddenly changed so abruptly for Lance. He'd had Kosmo teleport him to their room, only to find Lance had cleared all his stuff out. When he'd tried to include Lance in the discussion they were having during dinner on the Telula, Lance had left with Daehra. He hadn't even had the balls to tell him to take his ship ahead to the Atlas. That too was left to Daehra. He got that no one had expected his old team to show up showcasing new tech, but Lance wasn't even trying and that pissed him off. Watching Lance reunite with his family was bittersweet. They were over joyed to see him, while Lance looked ready to run. Each hug was tense, each facial expression lost to the mask Lance wore over his face. A mask that didn't come off until Lance's mother got ahold of him. His eyes were red rimmed, tears rolling down his cheeks as his mother gushed over him. None of sat right. None of it felt right. And the only person to care he was quietly shaking with anger was Shiro. Having chosen not to sit with the others, Keith was sitting a few tables away watching. Zethrid, Ezor and Axca were all down in the training room. Ezor had been causing trouble with her bubbly personality and Zethrid wanted to hurt anyone who looked at her the wrong way. From what Axca had said, his mother would be arriving tomorrow. Which meant he was now stuck with whatever this was. Sitting down across from him, Shiro crossed his arms and gave him his best "spill" look. Glaring back, his adoptive brother laughed softly "What's going on with you?" "What do you think's going on with me?" "If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say a certain Cuban?" Grinding his teeth, Keith replied sourly "Wow. Your powers of observation never fail to amaze me" "Hey, no need to take it out on me. I thought things were better between you two" "So did I. I don't even know what I did. He won't talk to me" "You said that already" He may have slightly vented to Shiro about Lance... but only because he couldn't understand what the quiznak was happening. He knew Lance was scared of reconnecting. Casting another glance at Daehra, Daehra was laughing softly at something Lance was saying "They're not what I was expecting" Looking back to Shiro, Keith frowned "What were you expecting?" "I don't know. I did see the way that one stepped in front of him" "That's Lucteal. He's an arsehole" "He seems to like Lance" "They all like "Leandro". He doesn't go by Lance out there anymore" "Careful Keith, you're letting your jealousy show" "I'm not fucking jealous" The pout on his lips ruined his argument. Shiro only smiling wider "Don't give me that. How's he really going?" "Better than he was. Still having panic attacks and nightmares. Still doing stupid shit... so still being Lance" "That's not what I'm asking" "I know what you're asking but it's not my place to say it" "Are you two..." Keith groaned "Don't even go there. I don't know. I thought we were moving that way but when I went to get my stuff from our room, he'd already moved me out" Shiro's smile dropped "I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything that happened that might explain it?" "He was fine. He was getting better, then my team showed up and he shut down again. He didn't even try, Shiro. I tried to include him but he ran off. God. It makes me so mad. I tried for him. I still don't know all the names of his team members, but I tried. I put up with all his bullshit stunts and he can't even try for one quiznakking night" "Did you try messaging him?" Nodding, Shiro had to be stupid if he thought Keith wouldn't have been messaging Lance's stupid arse all damn night "He was in the Telula's command room all night. He couldn't even come down and tell me he wanted me off his ship. He sent Daehra down to tell us to go ahead" "Well this is a big thing for him. He hasn't had time for us since he started this job" Scoffing in disgust, Keith felt the need to bare his teeth at that comment "Hasn't had time for you? Seriously, Shiro. I expected better from you. I saw his messages, no one calls or messages him. We called Hunk back about all of this, and Hunk spent more time talking to me than he did Lance. I got stuck lying and trying to soothe him back down because he's convinced no one wants him around. They fucked up his head, and having been "dumped" from the team was the final nail" "We all get busy... I know it wasn't malicious" "And I told you what happened. I've spent movements trying to get him through what happened. And now he won't even look at me" "It's probably hard for him..." "It is hard for him" "... to readjust. It's been you, him and his team. When your team came back, he probably convinced himself you're going to leave him. You did say he's suffering from abandonment issues" "He wasn't fucking abandoned, Allura threw him away. She fucked his body. He doesn't even know if that is his body, because he went and died and no one ever said a damn thing about it. He thought we all knew didn't care. He spent years thinking that..." Running his hands through his hair, he was ready to explode, or at least flip the table or something. Lance was right there. They shouldn't be talking about him like this. It felt like he was betraying him. "Keith, calm down. You're getting loud enough that everyone is going to hear you. We can't change the past. I wish we could..." "Shiro, honestly, don't. Right now I want to grab him by the collar and shake the fuck out of him, or drag him off the ship. He didn't want to see his family. He wasn't ready yet. Now he's laughing and forcing himself to be physical, when touching still sets off panic attacks" "Keith, it's not your job to decide what Lance does. I know you said he was tortured, that's why I called his family and invited them. I'm not saying your no good for him or haven't helped him, but he needs his family too" Lance had called him "home", and called him his "family". Shiro was making it sound like something like that could never exist between the pair of them "Lance won't be happy" "Maybe not now, but I think it'll be good for him. Tell me more about his team" Sighing at him, Keith was still slightly miffed Shiro hadn't trusted Lance over his team. Keith had told him he trusted him, but Shiro was still a dick to Lance "They're good people. We were staying on Lucteal, and Daehra's planet. Lucteal has a major crush on Lance, they had a kind of moment but it seems like that's settled down. I want to introduce Daehra to Colleen. She's never received proper medical training, but she's got a first rare mind for it all. Zak. Is like Pidge 2.0. Tobias is kind of useless. I don't know what the other three do. There were supposed to be more joining us, but apparently Lance sent them away. I don't know. I haven't had that much contact in the way of them. Lance let's the come and go as they please. I do know his team used to be bigger, but now he's down two bounty hunters" Shaking his head, Shiro leaned back in his chair "I can't picture it" "You should. He's actually pretty well known out that way. I wouldn't mention anything about Erathus to him though..." "It didn't end well?" "Shiro, they tried to kill him more than once. Now he's being accused of all the disappearances out near Ghazex. They put a fucking bounty on his head. So no. It didn't end well" Looking to his hands, Shiro was about to impart some "wisdom" he didn't want "Keith..." "Don't Shiro" "If Erathus is that dangerous, maybe..." "Don't. Involving the Atlas will only make it worse" "You don't know that for sure" "You can't go to war over one person. It's the same with the Blade's. It'll be seen as Earth and Daibazaal sticking their nose in. I wanted to. Believe me, but he wants to do this his own way" "Then he's not going to be too happy. Your mother's coming to discuss strategy over the prison moon" "It wasn't a prison moon. It was a satellite. The Atlas is too big to take in. Not just because of the asteroids, but the magnetic fields too" "We've already decided to move against it. Whether we have his permission or not" "He's not going to be happy" "I can't afford to think of his happiness. These disappearances need to stop" "Shiro..." "Keith. I saw those photos. People are being butchered. We cannot allow this to continue" "Maybe some of them deserved it" Mumbling bitterly, Shiro definitely heard him, his adoptive brother looked less than thrilled that Keith was suddenly pro-murder. The half-Galra was so close to telling Shiro everything. It was right there one the tip of his tongue. Shiro was making all these plans, when Lance was the one who'd been out there aware of all it far longer than the pair of them "I'm just saying, tread carefully. They fucking broke him, and I'm sorry but I don't know if I can forgive you if you send him back to where he was" "Do you really think I would?" "Not on purpose. But if he tries to kill himself again, I will never speak to you again" Leaving the conversation on such a bitter tone didn't sit well with Keith. He loved Shiro, and he'd left things up to Shiro's discretion, but not including Lance while making plans... it wasn't just wrong morally. Lance was a brilliant strategist when he wanted to be. His questions weren't just dumb and pointless, even if he made it sound that way so whoever was listening would come to the conclusion he already had under their own steam. The Atlas didn't own space. Daibazaal was still on shaky ground on that respect. A show of force could be interrupted as the empire trying to rise again. Why couldn't Shiro understand that? Keith didn't want people ending up cut into pieces like a grotesque jigsaw. Not at all. It was the whole powerlessness of the situation that was getting to him. He was acting too emotionally over Lance. Which wasn't a big shock. Not like finding out he'd been moved out. Shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans, Keith stalked from the dining room. He didn't know where he was going, only that he didn't want to see Lance's stupid face or Shiro's concern. He really should have expected better than to think he could walk away feeling so quiznak when there were two empaths in the room "Keith!" Hearing Daehra call, Keith kept walking. If Lance had another message for him, he could tell himself. Listening as her pace turned to a walking-jog, Daehra caught up him "Keith. Please, can we speak?" "Did Lance ask you deliver another message?" "No. No. It is about him though" Of course it bloody was "What is it, Daehra?" "Please will you stop. I do not like this between both of you" Stopping as requested, Keith turned in Daehra "You think I do? I don't even know what the hell I did wrong" "You did not do anything wrong per se. Other than ignore Lance once your team arrived" Shaking his head, Keith wasn't having it all pinned on him "I didn't ignore him. I tried to include him at dinner" "What about before dinner? And after dinner? You know of his fears and yes, I do understand you were happy to be reunited with your team, but think about when you came to us. You were on the outside. You did not understand our jokes and ways. Lance suffered at the hands of the Galra and while he does not hold that against your race, he was quite scared. I could feel the panic on him, though he tried to hide it. Your Acxa was watching him quite closely, while your Ezor teased him, yet you said nothing. He is quite sure you mean to return to them, given how happy you were to be with them again. I feel his emotions Keith, and he feels that you would prefer them to him. Like with your Shiro. I know Lance pulled his arm away, but he was barely keeping down one of you attack panics when we landed. He is scared. That is why he tried to keep his mask on. He does not know how to interact with these friends and family. He wanted his pills. It has been quintants since he asked. He chose to go off them because of what you mean to him, now he is in that room without you" Keith let Daehra's words sink in. He hadn't even realised he'd turned all his attention to his old team. He knew how they could be, and was trying to keep the situation under control. He didn't think about Lance's anxieties over having part Galra aboard because Lance was so ok with having him close. Plus, Zethrid had thought it funny to fire at the Telula... "Keith. I do not tell you this to hurt you. You two have been working so hard to communicate, and Lance feels he has no right to now that you are back where you came from. I am simply scared that he'll fall back into numbing himself. When his two sisters came, he wanted to run, and he still he faced them. I am not sure if he was even aware of the extent his emotions were flooding from him. It was so strong that Lucteal acted because Lance perceived them as a threat. He feels inferior to your Shiro. He described it as being back in Voltron" "I can't just walk back in there" "You can" "I don't know what I should do" "Be there" "He doesn't want anyone knowing anything about what happened between us" "Then be his friend" "I don't know what to say... I don't know his family that well" "So you feel as he did, on the outside?" She got him there. Taking a deep breath, he released it slowly "When did you get so wise?" Laughing Daehra nodded "That is twice today I have heard it. He says you and Shiro are on the same wavelength, but I feel it is more like you two are of the same mind. You are both idiots, and both my friends" "You know, I think Lance really shouldn't be teaching you to talk like that" "Maybe. Maybe not. Someone has to be the wise one between the two of you. Now come. I am finding the conversation most fascinating" What Daehra found interesting was mostly likely fuelling Lance's anxieties "Are they picking on him?" "A little. He is not ready to open up to them, and his mother has told many stories of young Lance" Lance wouldn't be loving that. Trying to seem the confident space pilot didn't hold up well against a mother's embarrassing stories... "No wonder he's upset. He doesn't handle embarrassment very well" "No, he does not. Though he does not grow as flustered as you do" "That's not my fault. Lance would say I'm socially awkward" "Both of you and your excuses. Honestly. It is tiring. Now quit stalling, Mullet" Gaping at Daehra, Keith was going to kill Lance "That's it. He's banned from teaching you English. Banned" "I am sorry. Lance is my commander, not you" First she called him "Mullet" then she sasses him. Daehra was spending far too much time with Lance. * Ignored at dinner by Lance, Keith had tried to talk to him. He tried to talk to him when they all separated from the dining area. He'd tried to talk to him before they all came together at dinner. It'd been chaotic. Almost like that night on the castle before it'd dissolved into a food fight... without the food fight. Everyone was trying to catch up with everyone else. Lance introduced Zak to Pidge by slandering some tech that had them both jumping down his throat before realising their arguments were completely different, and turning on each other. Then Matt and his girlfriend got involved... followed by Hunk... When he'd tried to sit near Lance at dinner, he was pulled away by Curtis to sit with him and Shiro. The Lance had left almost as soon as dinner was done, having barely eaten anything at all. With that invisible wall up between them, and Lance running away, desperate times called for desperate measures... with a little bit of help from Kosmo. Messaging Daehra, Daehra let him know Lance was back in the room Shiro had assigned him. First he tried sending Kosmo in, standing slightly down the hall, he watched Lance wrestle Kosmo out his room. So he sent him in again, only for the same thing to happen. The third time Lance actually seemed livid with the wolf, Kosmo whining pathetically in a way that would normally have Lance showering him with affection. With his first plan failing, Keith called Kosmo to his side, praising his wolf for doing what he'd wanted, despite Lance not keeping to his end of the plan. If Lance was going to be a little shit, Keith could play that game. And that was how he ended up in the Atlas's air vents. With no access in the corridor that Lance's room connected to, Keith was forced to go the long way. He could have had Kosmo teleport him in, but he wanted to show Lance he was actually sorry. He wanted to make the effort... even if the effort involved sneaking around on Shiro's ship. He hadn't made it far before his comms started beeping. Already feeling stalkerish enough, he didn't need someone reporting a strange beeping and clanging from the vent above his room. Detangling himself, Keith accepted the call, Shiro's expression wasn't too happy "Keith. Why are you in the air vent of my ship?" "Hey, Shiro. I can't really talk at the moment..." "Keith... What did you do?" "I may have upset Lance by accident and he may or may not be talking to me?" "So you're in the vents because..." "Because I want to talk to Lance and he's not talking to me" Groaning, Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose "You couldn't knock on his door?" "I tried sending Kosmo in, and Lance just kicked him out..." "That doesn't answer the question Keith" "Look. You do what you do. I'm just going to climb over to Lance's room and drop in for a quick visit" "If he doesn't want to talk to you..." "It doesn't work like that. Ok. You have no idea what you're talking about. I messed up. I need to show him that I know that" "I don't think you climbing through the air ducts is what he would want" "I don't care about what he wants. Now, I'm going back to borrowing your vents. I feel like a stalker as it is" "You are a stalker. Don't let me catching you in the vents again. And I expect you and Lance both on time for breakfast tomorrow" "You worry about walking down to breakfast tomorrow. Don't think I didn't see the looks you two were giving each other" "Alright. Message receive. I'll stay out of your love life" "That'll make a first. Now, I have some very dusty vents to acquaint myself with" Ending the call, Keith cursed whoever was listening. Couldn't a guy do something romantic, not at all creepy or stalkerish, for his not-boyfriend, without his adopted brother getting testy about him being in his ship's vents? Seeing things he didn't want to think about, Keith finally made it to Lance's room. Sitting on his bed, Lance was staring out his window, completely oblivious to Keith spying down on him as he tried to work his way through the four bolts. Shiro could have at least warned him about the bolts. He'd come so far, and now four shitty bolts weren't going to stop him. He really would have been screwed if the grates had been welded in place... Working the bolts took longer than he thought he would. Lance catching the sounds of dropping bolts as he looked up to the vent in fear. Getting up, Keith felt pretty foolish as Lance moved to stare up at him "Uh, hi?" "What... why... nope. Nope" Walking back over to his bed, Lance turned his back on him "Lance..." "I don't want to know what you're doing" "I'm trying to talk to you" "Really? I thought you were stuck in the air vent" "I'm not stuck. I'm just not executing this plan as smoothly as I thought I would" "Right. Well, you can back yourself up and go away" "Lance..." "I don't want to hear it Keith" Pushing against the vent grate, it didn't move "Look. I just want to talk" "Sure you do" "I'm serious. I want to talk to you" "And you didn't think about maybe knocking?" "Would you have answered?" "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means you haven't talked to me since my old team showed up" "Oh. That. Whatever..." "Lance, I'm trying to apologise to you" "Thanks. You can go now" The quiznakking vent cover wouldn't move. Climbing up closer to put more weight on it, one tick he was pushing against it, the next he was on his back staring up at Lance's ceiling, feeling slightly confused over what had happened in between. "What the hell!? You can't just break into my room!" Keith was definitely going to be feeling this tomorrow. His body protesting as he climbed up off the floor "I can when you're not talking to me" "Get out!" "Lance..." "Get out and go back to your team, Keith!" "Why are you yelling at me?!" "Because you made things clear!" "I didn't do anything on purpose!" "Right. You didn't purposely ignore me. You didn't purposely exclude me. I get it. You don't have to apologise for enjoying the company of other people. You can leave, Keith. I'm not upset" "If you weren't upset over it, you wouldn't be so mad at me right now" "God. Not everything is about you" Curling into the corner of his bed, Lance wasn't shutting him out. The little shit might be mad at him, but with how much had happened that day, there was probably a lot Lance needed to work out. Neither of them expected Lance's family to be there. Dinner had been too noisy to catch up. It would make some kind of twisted sense if Lance was feeling even lonelier than when he was on the Telula. Walking over to Lance's bed, Keith sat on the edge, hovering for a moment before shifting to reach for Lance. Resisting his hold, Lance's body began to tremble until Keith finally managed to coax him into his lap "You didn't do anything wrong..." "I did and I didn't even realise it... I didn't mean to ignore you. I didn't even realise that I'd hurt you. Until I talked to Daehra, I thought... I don't know, that you didn't want me around anymore. You packed up and moved all my stuff out... I... thought that you'd changed your mind and wanted me gone. I was mad at you for not even trying, but you couldn't try because I didn't give you a chance" "I'm sorry..." "Lance..." Lance's breathing hitched, the Cuban climbing out his lap to stride across the room, starting to pace "I can't... ok. I don't know what to do... they weren't supposed to be here. I didn't know my family was going to be here. I don't know what to tell them. I couldn't even look at the others. Mum knows something's wrong. Marco and papi kept looking at me like I wasn't right. Rachel is being a bitch, but that's just her. Veronica kept trying to pry. I can't... I can't deal with that and with you. You didn't talk to me at all about your old team. I know Zethrid is loud and Ezor is annoying as hell when she gets in a mood... and every single time everyone looks at me, I feel like shit... like they fucking know I'm dirty" Crumpling onto his knees, Lance buried his face in his hands "I don't want to go back... but I really can't fucking handle this... I can't... I can't take my pills... and I can't bring my doses up here. I don't want to remember... I want to go... No one wants me here. Pidge... she looked at me like... She asked me where my marks were, so I panicked and set Zak on her. Hunk... he didn't even ask... He just asked how work was and said he saw that my old boss had died... Shiro... He keeps looking at me like he knows... Like he can see right through me. When he talks to me... I feel like I haven't moved from being the useless Red Paladin... ugh... ugh..." When Lance started gagging, Keith rushed to help him into the bathroom. Rubbing his back as he gagged, Keith nuzzled into Lance's hair, the pair of them a tangle of limbs from Keith's haste to get Lance into the bathroom. Hushing the Cuban softly, he rocked Lance until he started to calm. One had forced to over Lance's arm as he tried to scratch. Since starting to detox, Lance's scratching had gone worse due to his irritated skin "You haven't gone backwards... You haven't. No one knows what you've been through... mum's got the video, but it's edited. Shiro knows someone hurt you, but I never said what they did to you... I never told him that..." "I was... it hurt to be outside... I was mad at you, but more mad at me. I don't know what we are to each other. Like... to other people... I didn't want the others to find your things. Ezor likes to snoop..." "You were worried about what they'd say?" "To you. I don't know what to do now. How do I keep my head up when I'm this?" "You're more than you think you are, you idiot. I don't go crawling through vents for anyone and everyone" Sighing softly, Lance nuzzled against his chest "I know. I'm sorry I ignored you. I couldn't cope with everything at once. I thought if you wanted to leave if it'd be easier" "I keep telling you I'm not leaving" "I know... you seemed so happy though. If you want to go, I get it" "I don't want to go. I swear Shiro didn't tell me he invited your family. I don't know if he's said anything to them..." "Mami would have said if he had. It's so stupid. I have my own team..." "It's not stupid. Do you want to head back to the Telula? You feel safer there, don't you?" "I don't feel safe anywhere on the Atlas... I feel like I shouldn't be here" "You have as much right as anyone does to be here. Your sister works here. Your family is here" "But they don't understand" "They can't because they don't know. I'm not going to force you to tell them" "I can't" "I know. You're doing really well. You didn't have a panic attack in front of them. You didn't jump or scream when someone touched you..." "It didn't feel good. Mami's hug... it didn't feel like I remember" With the door of the shower pressing into his back, the position wasn't very comfortable "You're not used to being held by someone other than me, or Daehra. There's nothing wrong with your mother's hugs" Lance sniffled and coughed, his voice dripping with guilt as he mumbled out "I thought it'd feel nice. I thought when I was ready I'd go back to Earth, she'd be waiting on the front step of the house, waiting for me... She'd open her arms and she'd feel so warm as he called her "her baby boy". They were always so warm. It didn't feel warm... I don't feel warm" Rubbing Lance's arm, he did feel pretty cold beneath his fingers "They'll feel good again. I know how much your family means to you. Let's get you up and into bed?" "I don't want to sleep" "We can train? We can explore the whole Atlas, if you want to?" "I can't. I didn't... let's just say you reminded me people can fit through air vents around here" Lance didn't need something else to be paranoid over. Anxiety fed on paranoia, or paranoia fed on anxiety. Keith was no expert. He could only make conclusions over what he'd seen. Lance was still detoxing, still struggling. He didn't need added stress or fears "I don't think anyone much bigger than me could. It was a pretty tight squeeze" "But they can still get through..." His grand romantic gesture of the vent was now back firing "Ok. I'm going to make the call. I know you don't want to head all the way back to the Telula. And you've come so far, so far, babe. But you need rest. Proper rest. We're going back to the Telula. You can take your dose down there" "I don't think I can sleep. My head won't shut up" "I'm not asking you to sleep, I'm asking you to rest. Tomorrow is going to be much of the same again. Everyone loud and everywhere. Plus the actual party. Did you hear Hunk say it was going to be a sit down dinner?" "No. It was awkward" Quiznakking hell. When was Lance going to get a break? Maybe he needed to arrange a Paladin only lunch? Let Lance see that the others didn't hate him, didn't find him dirty, and had missed him. He could kind of see how Lance trying to reach out might be missed in the chaos. Not that that made it ok. Lance wasn't as loud or boisterous as he'd once been. He wouldn't cut in in a conversation unless it was to defend someone "He did. It's semi formal. You can wear one of those new outfits? Put some make up on your cheeks?" "You sound like me. I must be bad" "No. Coming back to being around so many people... it was a lot. Even I wanted to grab you and take off as soon as possible" "Don't tease me like that man. I was thinking of handing my arse over to Erathus and letting them deal with instead. I actually feel like it will be easier" Clutching Lance tightly, Keith never wanted to let him go. Even with his scent being so pungent "Don't you dare even joke about that. I can't lose you, Lance" "I'm doing the best I can" "I know. I know you are. Nothing makes me prouder. Now, this shower door isn't that comfortable and the floor is pretty cold. Let's head down, back to our bed" "Yeah... I like the sound of that"

2 notes · View notes

cardinal-coping · 6 years ago

Text

Sinful Sanctuary

[A message from the Clergy] Hey, so I’ve been working on this Supernatural AU on and off for like two weeks now and I think I’m finally done and ready to show it to you all! First off, I decided to give it a catchy/witty name and here I wanna give a big shoutout to my wonderful boyfriend @madebynerdsfornerds / @dewdroppin-ghoul who suggested “Sinful Sanctuary” and also beta read everything! go follow him, he’s a sweet dude But yeah I wanted to make up my own little AU which I’ll most likely use for making characters, writing, and RPing, but you are free to use it as well! Just, idk, link back here or something? Yeah that’d be pretty swell. And here is a disclaimer: I got inspired by a bunch of already existing headcanons/AUs within this fandom and even outside of it and if something seems too familiar to you, I want to point out that I didn’t mean to steal anything! And if you want me to change anything for whatever reason you might have, feel free to message me and we will figure something out. I don’t mean any harm! Thank you. Alright, now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive right into it~

Clergy: The Clergy is lead by Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator. There are people who manage staff, accounting, the band etc., but those people are more “behind the scenes”, Nihil and the Sister are the faces of the Clergy, along with the current lead singer of the Clergy’s band, Ghost. Tobias Forge exists within the universe and is the “Ghoul Writer” who writes the songs for Ghost. All these people live in the Clergy Headquarters, along with the Ghouls, the Sisters of Sin and the Brothers of Blasphemy. The Papas: The Emeritus line is a progeny of men that devoted their life to the satanic church. Their ancestors made a pact with the devil himself that gave them a few perks. For one they can become hundreds of years old until their mortal bodies give in, or until they die through other circumstances – they are not immortal. The other thing is that they have lesser supernatural powers, which can differ from one family member to the other. It includes things like mind control and telekinesis. In turn for this the Clergy must recruit devotees and sacrifice a soul here and there to appease Satan. The band Ghost: The band was a project started by the Clergy to try and gain a bigger reach in favor of the satanic church. They figured that it would be a more modern way of recruiting devotees and would attract a younger age group than your average senior churchgoer. Sisters of Sin/Brothers of Blasphemy: In Germany we have this fun little thing called “confirmation” which is the ceremonial joining into the Christian church you can do when you’re 14. I want to make use of that concept. The Sisters of Sin or Brothers of Blasphemy start off as “altar servers” when they turn 16. They serve at their local satanic church until they’re 18 and then they can officially join the Clergy. They’re free to keep serving/working at their local church or to apply for a position at the Clergy HQ. A child that is born into the Clergy, due to the parents already being part of it, is automatically a Sister of Sin or Brother of Blasphemy upon turning 18 years old, however it is strongly advised that they do their two years of service despite that. Dress code: Any Clergy member must wear a black two- or three-piece suit along with dress shoes and a clearly visible grucifix, be it a necklace or a brooch. Cuffing one’s pants or rolling up the sleeves is generally prohibited. The ghouls may be an exception from this rule, although it is only tolerated, not encouraged. Body modifications, such as tattoos and piercings are allowed, as well as dyeing one’s hair. The Clergy supports any form of self-expression in that regard. Ghouls: The ghouls are hell born creatures that were summoned to earth by the Emeritus family, as another perk of their pact with the devil and to simply serve the Emeritus progeny in any shape or form. They’re not demons per se, but they look just as ghastly. Appearance: Each ghoul is assigned to an alchemic element to which their coloring corresponds. Ghouls have a rather humanoid anatomy, however in their true form they have a tail, that extends from their tailbone and ends in a shape that corresponds with their alchemic elemental symbol. They have matching horns, that are shaped to match the ghouls’ element as well. Since ghouls are rather feral creatures, they have sharp, almost canine-like teeth. Their tongues are split, and their ears are elongated and pointy. Sometimes they may resemble a lizard or snake, with their sickly greyish skin, littered with scales. The ghouls are able to use lesser magic to disguise their true appearance. They can change their skin color and hide their tail and horns, although their teeth and tongue stays the same. This magic is called “glamor” and any ghoul at any age can use it for several hours at a time. The glamor doesn’t affect the ghoul greatly, it fatigues them a little, but it’s nothing that couldn’t be helped with a little nap or a good meal. Ghouls don’t have any special powers, though they’re fast learners and quite intelligent creatures. Diet: A ghoul’s diet can consist of anything, as they are omnivores, though they prefer meat over vegetables. Additionally, a ghoul isn’t averse to eating anything raw/uncooked, since they’re quite feral despite their humanoid appearance. Occupation: Ghouls can take on different jobs within the Clergy, most famously they serve as band members in Ghost. For that, the current lead singer must undergo a ritual that will give them the ability to control the ghouls and order them around without any backlash. Age: Ghouls are thousands of years old and can become about a thousand years older – they’re ancient creatures that come from the upper levels of hell and were created by the Old One himself.

#Ghost band #Ghost bc #supernatural AU #Sinful Sanctuary #hc #headcanon #mine #sermon

3 notes · View notes

lilacsolanum · 7 years ago

Note

am I correct that you once mentioned being able to talk forever about the breakdown of Animorphs team dynamics at the end of the war? please... if so... i'd love to hear your thoughts...

YES, YOU ARE VERY CORRECT. HERE WE GO.

Cassie and Ax are the only ones whose books straight up lay down the law on this. The Sacrifice has Ax straight up talking shit about, like, everyone but Marco. Marco he’s cool with, because Marco’s clear headed and not worried about getting his hands dirty. Marco’s like “Man, drop a nuclear bomb if you GOTTA, like I don’t LOVE the idea but what’s an intergalactic war without a ‘lil nuke here and there? Makes it EXCITING.” But he starts getting disenfranchised with Jake - “I wished now not for Jake, but for an Andalite commander. An experienced soldier. Someone who better understood when to fight and when to watch.” He is OVER how Rachel is terrifyingly violent and should have been removed from fighting a while ago (the scene where Ax chooses to forgive and free a Yeerk-moprhed-bird who is just trying to become a nothlit — only for Rachel to thoughtlessly murder the Yeerk on a rampage — is one of the most chilling moments in Animorphs. I gasped and had the set the book down when I first read it, and I first read it as an adult.) While He even straight up calls Tobias out on getting trapped in morph on purpose - “He stayed in red-tailed hawk morph for longer than two hours. I suspect he did it on purpose. It was his way of escaping the complexities of human life. Although he exchanged them for a new set of complexities.” When he finds out Cassie gave away the morphing technology, he says “I could not stop looking at Cassie. I was not exactly sure what I was feeling. But I was sure it was very close to hatred.” Later he says “Perhaps the real menace lay at the other end of the continuum - represented by Cassie. Humans who were softer. Kinder. Well-meaning. And, ironically, infinitely more dangerous.” He eventually does forgive Cassie and start to understand her choice, but it takes him a MOMENT. Ax is TIRED in this book. The Sacrifice is just Ax talking shit about everyone, it’s amazing. “My hatred for Cassie began to extend to them all. They were fools. They would never prevail. They were too soft. Too sentimental. Too childish. Too stupid and ignorant.” - Aximili in The Sacrifice, pouring out some tea.

Ax ends up in this really sad place at the end of the war where he’s resigned to dying on Earth, to dying with his human friends, and he sees honor in that but he does not want it. Ax is easily the least developed characters in the series, especially once he’s given to the ghostwriters. He’s either The Funny Alien Bro or he’s the writer’s voice of political commentary. VERY RARELY is he treated with respect. Because of this inconsistency, it’s hard to say what Ax does immediately after the war. Does he just peace out to Andalite immediately? Does he take time to decide what he truly wants? Does he decide he truly wants to stay on Earth with humans but goes back to Andalite out of duty? Does he reach out to Tobias? Does he quietly accept Tobias’s decision to isolate himself and feel secretly relieved that he no longer has to care for this neurotic bird? Does he feel guilty about being secretly relieved? Does he not care he’s relieved? There are a ton of ways to interpret Ax and view his post war decisions. The only thing we know from The Sacrifice is that he’s pretty fucking DONE.

Cassie talks a ton of shit, too. (”The truth was, and it hurt me to admit it, Jake just wasn’t Jake anymore.” - The Ultimate. “Rachel’s voice, on the other hand, was firm and unhesitating. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thinking it’s time to explode a big ‘ole bomb.” “And you couldn’t be happier,” Cassie said bitterly to Rachel. “Could you?”” - The Sacrifice.) Cassie always has sweetly-snide things to say about everyone in her narration (homegurl is always like “Marco is funny, but only to cover up his own fear.” “Yeah Tobias DEFINITELY trapped himself in morph.” “Rachel is a mess.” Cassie is a southern church lady and a master at shade and I love her.)

Cassie and Ax are basically just. Done with everyone. Cassie has already realized all her friends are way too war-touched to ever be healthy, and knows, on some level, that she’ll retain enough stability be able to elevate herself past the PTSD. In her last book, she makes this sad, desperate last chance grab at retaining what was left of Jake’s humanity. After that, we don’t see many people really connecting with Cassie and honestly, it’s not because she gave away the morphing cube. It’s because the Animorphs agree to blow up the Yeerk pool. I think that is a defining point for Cassie, the equivalent of Jake losing his parents. Her fate is sealed when she is forced to participate in destroying the Pool. She doesn’t like herself and she doesn’t like these people. She completely gives up on Jake and knows they have no future, which you see plainly in her reaction to Jake’s proposal (I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either. “I would like that … eventually,” she said. “ But. But what?” She sighed. “But, Jake, what are you going to be? What are you going to do?” “Guess I thought I’d go to college,” I said. “And study what, Jake? Me, I’ll go to college, I’ll become a doctor. never forget what’s happened, I’ll never even try, but I’ll be able to slip back into a normal life. But you, Jake?” ) She is straight up aggressive toward Rachel in The Ultimate (”“Why do you have to be so horrible?” Cassie exploded. “You are, you know. And you get worse every day. Your own mother can’t even stand you.””) Cassie is maybe not consciously aware that she is the only one who will truly survive the war, but she knows SOMETHING, and she starts to distances herself and gives up on her friends at the end of the war. It’s another one of Cassie’s bright clear lines.

Marco doesn’t really comment on things falling apart, but I also don’t think Marco approaches exactly HOW falling apart things have become in the same honest way Cassie and Ax do. Listen: homeboy has abandoment issues. Which I guess is extrapolation, as I can’t really think of any example where he’s directly like “Everyone Leaves Me Eventually Fuck ‘Em And Their Little Dog Too”, but the text DOES tell us 1. Marco’s mom died when he was 11, which is a very big thing to happen to a very tiny child; 2. His dad mentally checked out immediately after and 3. After the war, Marco awkwardly tries to keep the band together. He admits to spying on Jake in his free time in The Beginning, AND I MEAN. “Marco lived half a mile from me, in a house about seven times bigger than mine. We’d started hanging out again. And after awhile he’d given up arranging dates for me with whatever starlet happened to be willing.” (Jake, The Beginning). Some of that is Jake giving back to Marco, but one can ONLY ASSUME from Marco’s weird spying that Marco pulled every drop of Jake’s friendship out by sheer force of will. He also apparently invites Cassie AND HER BOYFRIEND to his Hollywood parties (I spoke to Cassie every couple of months. She was seeing some guy … actually, a good guy. I had met him at one of Marco’s parties.) and is in general all up in her shit. He does this crazy detailed run down of every step Cassie has made post-war in Chapter 10 of The Beginning. Like bro why do you even know Wal-mart tried to get Cassie to sign a deal with them? Because you’re not as cool as you think, and you miss the fuck out of the Animorphs. His defining character trait is also “Cares about no one unless he adopts you as as family, in which case he will walk right into hell and personally bitch slap satan to ensure your safety.” I honestly don’t think it OCCURS to him that they won’t all be friends after the war. He comments a bit on people falling apart, but I swear he thinks they’re all going to fall apart together. Marco is arguably in a better position when the war ends than when it started. He brings his mother back from the dead, his dad is functioning, he is rich and famous, everything is great (save for the inevitable trauma of his parents and the existence of Nora and the fact he deliberately put her in harm and all the other terrible realizations we’ve all had about that family). But I can’t help but feel that his abandonment issues are part of what lead him to The Rachel. He sacrifices a pretty bomb life to go on a suicide mission without question, because Marco doesn’t have much family, and he adopted the Animorphs as a family, and now the only way to get that family back for even a moment is to go on The Rachel.

Basically, at the end of the war, Marco is something close to happy and hopeful. The last book he narrates is a fucking romp with tanks and ducks and bondage jokes (”” ICONIC). He’s focused on his parents, and he’s not really seeing the looming aftermath of war.

Tobias is sort of in the same situation. He’s dealing with a lot. He’s got a Loren now, and he’s awkwardly morphing human for her. He has been disenfranchised with Jake ever since Jake manipulated him into volunteering himself for torture. He’s kicking it with Marco and Ax and they have this sort of unofficial club going on, but he never mentions particularly connecting with Marco on the same level he does Rachel or Ax or even Cassie. Which, don’t get me wrong, I am 100% a huge believer in Team Finesse as disgruntled roommates who care for each other deep down, but it’s ultimately not enough of a connection to keep him around after Rachel’s death. That’s the thing with Tobias. He was always sort of detached from everyone but Rachel and Ax, and Ax was somewhat circumstantial. We all love the shorms, shorms are real, but there’s definitely a reading where the two of them bonded because they had to. I also definitely think Tobias never truly believed in Ax’s love for him. That’s the thing with Tobias, he can joke and he can bond and he has a nice time with the other Animorphs but he doesn’t believe in a universe where they hang out without the Yeerks, ya feel? He can go on a tank joy ride with Marco, but underneath it he’s thinking “This hilarious class clown wouldn’t give me the time of day if it wasn’t for Elfangor.” He can listen to Ax call him shorm, but ultimately he’s going to feel “Ax is only here because he has no other option, we wouldn’t be friends otherwise.” That’s why as soon as Rachel dies, Tobias is out. When Cassie says, “He doesn’t hate you, Jake. He never did. His heart was broken, that’s all. And you know, Tobias never had anyone. No one before Rachel. No mother, really, no father he could ever know. Rachel was the first and only person who ever loved Tobias.” (The Beginning), I think she’s speaking from Tobias’s POV, because she knows of all people that Tobias was loved and loved fiercely by many. It’s just that when Rachel said it, he actually believed her. (This is a line I’ve been sitting on for a minute and will use in a fic, so anyone who reads it again later, act surprised okay?)

And Jake and Rachel have isolating incidents that are pretty clear on the page. Rachel’s descent into extreme violence addiction isn’t super well done, but these ARE children’s books. As dark as these books are, there’s something so incredibly disturbing about watching a child find joy in a shower of blood that it’s not really well touched upon. All we know is that she’s out of control, to the point where when confronted by an armed but currently peaceful group of soldiers, she ignores orders from Ax and attempts to ram through the human shield by physically stomping on her mother’s foot and forcing the gas pedal. No one wants to hang out with Rachel by this point, not even her family, not even Cassie. Well, we can assume Tobias is still kicking it with her, but we never get a scene of them together which is a SHAME. And Jake is, you know. I’ve rambled enough, but anyone who has read the series knows that Jake withdraws from his friends when he loses his parents in The Diversion. Marco and Tobias are too preoccupied to help, Cassie tries to the point where she hands their only leverage over to the enemy but eventually gives up on EVERYONE, and Ax is too exhausted to care. I don’t think it would have mattered much if Jake had gotten a ton of support though. He’d given up by then.

ANYWAY you asked for my feelings on the kids drifting away from each other and I gave you 2K because I am extra.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #long post #i'm so sorry #i'm not sorry #I'm full demi lovato in this moment #pretty-rage-machine

329 notes · View notes

thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 7 years ago

Note

A while back you were doing individual reviews of animorph books and I was searching through the tag and I can't believe no one asked for 53,so please I know it was years ago and ur probs busy but I'm dying to know

Short opinion: I LOOOOOVE the “several independent teams come together to fight a common enemy in the final boss battle” tope—and I love even more how much K.A. Applegate subverts that trope in this book.

Long opinion:

I do really REALLY like #53, which I think actually manages to be a final battle worthy of the entire Animorphs series despite all expectations that such a thing would even be possible. However, I also think I need to say before I get any further into this review: this book is also Really Freaking Problematic. Specifically, it’s Problematic As Hell that 30-odd disabled characters, most of them from unstable situations, get killed off (offscreen, no less) to manipulate the emotions of an able-bodied cis het upper-class white boy. It just is. I love this book despite its problematic elements; I also don’t ask anyone else to like this book or to overlook those problematic elements just because it’s also well-written. (Given my feelings on #40, it’d be pretty damn hypocritical of me to do so.)

Anywhoo, as for everything else in #53: I freaking love it. A+ to K.A. Applegate for making us genuinely feel bad for Tom in this book… and for making us hate that yeerk’s guts to the point where we’re rooting for Rachel to kill it dead, no matter how many innocent hosts might have to die as well. Jake’s heartbreak over the loss of his family, and his simultaneous inability to deal with that heartbreak, are writ large throughout this book. He’s already lost everything, he’s a liiiiitttle off the rails, and he’s constantly combating the urge to take the easy way that Tom’s yeerk offers through simply swapping victory on Earth for his family back. We also get a fair amount of both Jake and Rachel expressing empathy for Tom, even though in earlier books we see them both trying to distance themselves from him—presumably once the decision to kill him is made, they both recognize that there’s no point in continuing to try to lie to themselves just in case they maybe-someday have to kill him.

That’s the first half of the book. The second half of this book has Tom’s yeerk torturing “Cassie” (actually Erek in disguise) for no other reason than the fact that it so clearly views Cassie as being Jake’s property and wants to pee on something Jake loves. It has the yeerk simultaneously infantilizing Jake and being willing to throw away all its alleged ideals about morphing for a chance at revenge on Jake. It features a conflict where the Animorphs realize that if they let the morph-capable controllers get away they’ll essentially be sacrificing a different planet to save their own. And by the end of it we hate that yeerk’s guts almost more than we hate the guts of Visser Three, whose surrender is a (very deliberate, IMHO) anticlimax.

Anyway, how cool is it that we get humans AND hork-bajir AND taxxons AND chee AND andalites AND freaking yeerks AND whatever the hell the Animorphs are by this point all teaming up to protect the planet they all claim as their own? I am an utter sucker for this kind of battle, as I mentioned, because it really captures the feeling that the entire series up to this moment has been building up to this moment. Ultimately the taxxons are powerless against the Yeerk Empire, the ordinary humans throw their best shot at fighting alone against the Bug fighters in the first scene and get annihilated, the hork-bajir can’t organize enough to take on the yeerks alone, the andalites don’t want to get their hands dirty enough to fight on Earth, and the rebel yeerks can’t overcome mainstream leadership, but together… together… It also gives us the sense that this is the culmination of the Animorphs’ hard work over the last three years of pain and struggle. If Tobias had told the Ellimist that the hork-bajir weren’t his problem, if Jake chose not to trust Arbron, if Marco wasn’t connected to the chee, then they would lose this battle. It’s as simple as that.

However, this is also not The Battle of Five Armies. It’s not the fight against Glory in “The Gift,” or against the Fire Nation during the eclipse. It’s not a romanticized band of brothers coming together and forgetting all old conflicts in pursuit of a higher goal. Russia and the U.S. go right back to hating each other’s guts the instant Nazi Germany is no longer a threat, and it took Jake threatening to kill Chapman in order to get the Irish and Australians fighting at all. (Okay that metaphor got weird, but the point stands.) My favorite part of this everything-and-the-kitchen-sink-besides battle is that it’s also, in its own way, a choice of the lesser evil. Jake has to give up on a lot of his ideals to win this game of cosmic speed chess. He does win, of course, and does so with staggering aplomb, but at the end of it he’s got “Tom and Rachel and those seventeen thousand yeerks around his neck like the Ancient Mariner and his albatross” (#54).

Part of what’s so cool about the complexity of this plan is the simplicity of its execution. Sure, there are up to seven independent forces all fighting each other during the wackiest parts of this whole dog-and-pony show, but the focus is always tightly on Jake and his friends and their very private concerns: Can they all stay alive? Can they keep their families safe? Are they doing the right thing? Where is Rachel, anyway? Exactly how far are they willing to go to protect their species?

#53 #the answer #asks #answers #animorphs #anonymous #animorphs reviews #mentions of ableism #jake berenson #tom berenson #i have a lot of emotions about this family

59 notes · View notes

axburrows · 5 years ago

Text

“My Plague Journal”

By RICHARD LITTLETHOUGHT ‘The Voice of Truth, if by “Truth” you mean “Profoundly Right-Wing Assertions”.’

DAY IV

Readers, I do confess this self-isolation business is getting to me at the very roots! The other day, I was having a harmless browse of some of that P.G. Wodehouse – ‘fun for all the fam’, as the rappers would say. But several chapters in, my heart ached and a drowsy numbness pained my sense, as though of Benylin® I had drunk.

In my delirious state, I saw myself attired in a starched collar and claw-hammer coat to boot. My man-cave was gone. Looking around at this new opulent interior, I surmised that I’d entered into the employment of a top-drawer citizen: Mister Bertram Wooster! Distantly, I heard the tinkling of a bell. I pursued the sound up a long and winding staircase. I opened an oak panelled door and stepped into my master’s bedroom. He was lounging beneath candy-striped bedclothes, a little bell in his hand.

‘You rang, sir?’ I said.

‘Now look here, Littlethought’, Wooster intoned, ‘My squeeze, Emily Maitlis, is coming round for supper later and I want to make a bit of an impression – if you catch my meaning?’

‘Indeed, sir.’ I said.

‘I’ve got a grocery list here for her favourite dish: Greek moussaka with a special side salad – Yukon potatoes, artichoke hearts and a caramelised fig – that sort of caper.’ He waved this scroll of decadence beneath my salt-of-the-earth nose. ‘Now be a sport and toddle down to Whole Foods, would you?’

‘Indeed, sir’, I intoned. I took the list and shimmered out.

Coming down Kensington High Street, the pavements billowed with a thousand coxcombs in primrose scarfs and crushable bushman’s hats. Through the window of a Wasabi, the Monopoly Man was licking ramen off a glass table top while a prostitute clapped. I turned and saw a parade processing up the road, at the centre of which was a massive Chinese dragon with the face of a polystyrene James O’Brien. Fire-eaters and acrobats pranced around it performing tricks, whilst Sandi Toksvig saluted the crowd from an amphibious rocket launcher. Jess Phillips played ‘I Will Survive’ on the ocarina. A marmoset was on Skype!!! I’m a stranger in my own country! I thought.

Behind me, I heard a fragile voice singing from the doorway of an Alms House.

‘Jesus blood - never failed me yet - never failed m’yet - never failed me...’

‘Mister Farage!’ I said. ‘Whatever became of our Man of the Hour?’

‘I’ve been stripped of m’assets, boy. Stripped of m’assets.’

‘Wassat?’

‘M’Youtube videos have been de-monitised, I tells ye! All m’lovely Youtube videos!’

‘They’ll never get away with this, Nige! God’s honour, they won’t!’

‘Thruppence for a vodka jelly, will ye?’

I was about to knee him in the groin and make a speech about the undeserving poor, when an affectless young man approached and forced a limp handshake. The young man then turned and gestured to a bunch of phlegmatic-faced tweens in furs doing coke off a padlock key.

‘Hey, guys, come on over!’ he said. ‘It’s a load of pre-gentrification First Peoples!’

They introduced themselves as characters who’d escaped from an Andrew Doyle satire. They were now surviving hand-to-mouth as a band of marauding postmodernists. They tried to impress me by showing me colourful objects from their ‘superior culture’, including Nespresso pods, scalp wax and a pencil sharpener from the Barbican Centre. A young woman in turquoise brogues read a poem about having adulterous sex in a library. When I told her I thought poetry was a form of character weakness, she cried onto her shoes (AND HER LACES TO BOOT!!hooho!). One tired-looking bloke – who claimed that sleep patterns were ‘just a construct’ and favoured instead a politicised version of rest known as ‘free-sleep’ – asked if I’d considered taking ‘powerful antidepressants’ to cure my conservatism. I told him that I was in love with my own sadness. I said I wanted to live my life ‘like a powder keg: short but sweet’ – I winked at the shoe-lady. The bloke explained that he wanted to live his life like an otter: ‘a very long and chilled one’, on his own, lying on a beanbag, eating stems of barley, with infrequent but carefully scheduled sessions of masturbation. I looked him squarely in the eyes and asked if he’d ever had a wet shave. The woman interjected and said I should join a Union, as ‘a working-class person!’

‘Who’re you calling working-class?!’ says I. ‘I’m a small business owner, don’t y’know!’

………………

I was referring to a small business I tried to establish in the late 90s, selling knock-off Toby jugs from the boot of my Mazda, just off the A13 trunk road. We got busted by a gang of hired bravoes sent by the Wedgwood company. I was left lying on the verge with a pair of broken legs surrounded by shards of homemade ceramics. The police managed to trace the bravoes as far as Stoke-on-Trent where the trail ran cold, thanks to a conspiracy of silence among the city’s terrified residents. I had a meltdown not long after that. In my despair, I overdosed on Vick’s VapoRub and tried walking into the sea one night down in Billericay. I was saved, after I mistook the inchoate outline of a miniature schnauzer for the spiritual form of a Toby Jug. It hovered above the sand, glowing.

Don’t give up, Dick. Don’t give up the ju-ugs!

But I can’t, Tobias, mate. The porcelain industry is eating me alive!

No one else can potter like you, Dick! That’s the truth.

But the jugs have become a burden, mate!

It is your destiny, Dick. The jugs are your destiny! Swear. Swear.

What are you? Angel or Devil?

I AM IN HELL!!!!

………………….

Once I had absquatulated from the students, I entered the vast baize complex of Whole Foods. I’d never seen so many vegetables in my life [INSERT GIBE ABOUT THE SCOTTISH]. The building was at least 100 storeys high, buzzing with flying cars and hydraulic escalators. It was like the Tower of Babel itself! Fritz Lang’s Metropolis crossed with a farmer’s market.

The affluence of the place sickened me to my very claw! I walked past some Houynhnhnms, cantering along the ‘Oats’ aisle. They gave me sideways glances and whispered to one another.

‘Darling, is that a Leaver?’

‘Darling, do you know, I think it might well be!’

‘In Whole Foods? I say, do you think he’s here to get his methadone injection? Someone should tell him, it’s not that kind of supermarket.’ *Goya-esque braying*

I’m a creep, I thought. I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.

Near an aisle of artichokes, my bum was perused by the ghost of W.H. Auden.

‘Sir! If I may say’, he whispered, ‘Your arse is so muscular, I should wish to immortalise it in verse!’ I bristled at the scent of cherry brandy on his lips.

‘I concur, Wystan!’ crooned the fay shade of Lytton Strachey. ‘A truly delectable specimen.’

I swung at them. ‘Naff orf, you bloody wagtails!’

‘Oh, I say!’ preened Wystan Hugh.

At which point the ghost of Jean Cocteau approached, his eyes gleaming like a deviant, his fingers wriggling, ‘Ohohoho! Il a un cul chaud!’

‘Now look ere, Frenchy! One step over this ere threshold and I’ll knock yer flippin block off, comprehend-e?’

‘Je recommanderais le chou-fleur.’

‘Watch it! I’m warning you!’

‘Oh, Jean. You old nag!’

‘Oui. Je suis un cinéaste.’

‘I can’t make head nor tail of this! I bluddy hate these romance languages’ I said to myself, sotto voce. I felt a stranger in my native land.

Once I had absquatulated the scene, I returned to the penthouse to prepare supper while Wooster billed and cooed with Ms Maitlis. (It was like the courting ritual of kestrels!!) Around midnight, I brought in the third course of banana shallots. The room was billowing with the scent of orange blossom and legal highs; I nearly fainted. Maitlis wore large, exotic torques from the Barbican Centre gift shop. She was hunkered over a big, indulgent glug of “Chateau de Liz Kendall”. Her eyes were as brown as spear handles!! Her face was firm yet glam, like the prow of a Russian oil tanker steered by Bianca Jagger. Her throaty voice, with its alluring masculine depths, was both thick and sweet, like oil on a scone (in an M&S advert sponsored by Shell).

‘Your butler’, she intoned. ‘A bit wet behind the ears, don’t you think?’

‘Oh gawd,’ my master said, his saliva moonlit, ‘don’t I know it, Ms Emma! Hum-hum-hum-hum.’

Now easy, Dick, says I to mine-self. Easy does it now.

Her voice sank deeper: ‘If you want to move in with me, Wooster, we’re going to have to find you a new man!’

‘If you like, I could fire this bounder on the spot! Just for you. I would do that, Emily. For you I would! If you’d like!’

She grinned and they stared into each other’s eyes for a good minute. Then she glanced up at me, a touch dismayed. Wooster turned around - he had a scheming look.

‘Oh, fetch us dessert, would you, Littlethought?’

I shimmered out. I returned a few moments later with an inappropriately large jelly designed by Norman Foster.

‘Ta, Littlethought.’

‘Sir.’

‘Oh, and Littlethought?’

‘Sir?’

‘You’re dismissed.’

‘Sir?!’

‘Dismissed. Arrivederci, Littlethought. We’re replacing you. Don’t come back tomorrow. You can leave your key card on the salver.’

I TOOK OUT A BOMB. I SCREAMED LIKE A CELT!

‘I say, steady on there, Littlethought!’

‘YIPPEE-KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!’ I intoned.

‘I didn’t know you spoke French, Littlethought!’

I pulled the cord! ‘FOR ENGLAND!’

Unfortunately, I was the only casualty. I wish I had died to avoid legal culpability. But it was a British explosive, so I incurred only minor tissue scarring. My master and Ms Maitlis immediately pressed charges. Because of my two-year-long media campaign against legal aid, I could only afford to be represented by a sparrow. The sparrow had yet to graduate to the bar, having only recently built his nest outside the chambers at Gray’s Inn where I hoped he’d at least absorbed something of the finer points of tort law. I appeared in court the following week in a plaster cast, where I was sentenced to life by Justice Lady Hale.

‘Well, well, well, Mithta Littlethought’, lisped Lady Hale. ‘A Leaver in the dock, I thee! It mutht be my lucky day! Yum yum yum!’ (She rubbed her stomach and mimed eating me - which I thought excessive.) A roll call of witnesses for the prosecution sealed my fate: Kojack, David Blunkett, and Charlotte Church in a bonnet who jumped up on the plaintiff’s bench and called me ‘a witch’ and then fainted. Lady Hale said I was ‘weak and scum’ - or ‘thcum’, to be precise (which is Welsh for ‘seamen’, FYI).

‘I thenenth you to 55 yearth, Mr Littlethought!’ she crooned. ‘55 backbwaking yearth!’

She banged her gavel. A loud cheer broke out across the gallery. I looked at my sparrow in his tiny little fucking wig, cursing him with my very blood.

‘May God have merthy upon your thoul, Mithta Littlethought!’ Hale said.

The sparrow immediately took wing – with my car keys in its beak – and escaped from a clearstory window. I’d lost everything. As I was bundled out of the courtroom, my faithful but still vividly puce-legged wife, Vanessa, surreptitiously passed me a cyanide capsule and an After Eight mint. She kissed me.

‘I’ll never forget you, Monsieur Robespierre,’ she said. ‘I’ll never forget you – you – you – YOU…’

I woke up. My body was covered in sweat. It had all been a dream. I sighed with relief. I drew back the coverlet. But then, in the palm of my right hand: was a melted After Eight! Had it really been a dream? Yes. I had fallen asleep on top of a box of After Eights. I showered the mint chocolate off my cords and wept.

----------- b l a c k o u t ------------

Grams: ‘Underneath the Arches’ (Flanagan/ Allen - ft. Dua Lipa)

CODA:

#crapola #falsehoods #tapestryoflies #absquatulate #to boot

0 notes

moonlightbewitched · 6 years ago

Link

Kirk Hammett: Can I just say one thing? What Black Sabbath was to that time era and to movies like Black Sabbath and all those crazy Hammer and early ‘70s horror films, I think the modern equivalent is Ghost and movies like The Conjuring and The Nun and Annabelle. I think Ghost is connected to all these great modern horror movies that are coming out. I might be just totally full of it, but that parallel that I’m drawing really is cool because I love this band, I love those movies and it’s a way of like bringing ‘em all together and celebrating all I love which is, you know, the dark!

Tobias Forge: I guess that would be very natural, and quite logical to think that. Going further, if we parallel-compare the horror genre with metal, not only are they alike, but they are also alike because you have the creators of what instigated the horror genre that eventually led to a myriad of filmmakers essentially paying tribute to a lot of those older films. Same way that metal was created by people originally playing blues and funk music who then stumbled into making metal, and then all the metal bands that came after that are in a way, unfortunately dogmatically, sometimes just paying tribute to other bands.

I come from a death metal underground, and it’s basically full of horror name dropping! I know that a lot of classic films made back in the ‘60s and ‘70s, especially in the ‘70s, were inspired by previous horror/thriller makers. Obviously Hitchcock influenced others, Terrance Fisher…

KH: …Tod Browning…

TF: Absolutely! Fast forward to the ‘80s, and especially in the ‘90s and the 2000s. I think a lot of contemporary filmmakers who grew up in the VHS digital violence era, such as myself, caused the genre in its totality to maybe suffer from being too much of a homage. All the time there’s weird, eclectic little references, and then you sort of outsmart yourself and the whole project by just making it too true to the genre in a way. Whereas I think a lot of the groundbreaking films were made by people who didn’t necessarily do a whole lot of horror films, but were filmmakers in general. Stanley Kubrick is the classic example of that with The Shining.

KH: I was actually watching it myself (again, I’ve seen it many, many times) about a month ago. The most interesting thing with The Shining [movie] is that Stephen King doesn’t like it. And you know, I totally get that because having read the book and seen the movie more times than I read the book, they’re two different entities. But they totally somehow relate in the weirdest way, they both hold their own ground as artistic statements. Yeah, you’re getting a different story with the movie, but it’s shot so well and is so creepy [that] it touches on the atmosphere, environment and range of emotions Stephen King was shooting for, I believe. And it doesn’t follow the plot, it goes somewhere completely different with a completely different end, but it’s a great fucking movie and Jack Nicholson is just amazing in it. I mean, it goes without saying.

TF: One thing that I think is for me another key to not only that film but Kubrick’s films in general, [is that] as a good filmmaker, I think you need to pay attention to everything from dialogue to special effects to realism. Angles, details.

That makes me put him on a pedestal, whereas I think this is the problem a little bit with the horror film genre horror, it came to be a mass producing sort of genre, where a lot of the filmmakers are not necessarily interested in [that].

KH: And it’s the writing…

TF: There’re so many things…

KH: The costuming. It’s just crazy.

TF: Yes. The entire craft. And obviously he was -as everyone remotely interested in film knows – he [Kubrick] was a stickler for details, and I very much admire that. Where you have a lot of films, especially in the horror genre, that are entertaining but a filmmaker who maybe technically can make a film but is more interested in the special effects, or the nudity. And you see them phoning in a lot of the things “in between,” especially dialogue and the credibility of the character. Whereas Kubrick was so spot on.

KH: I think that point of the filmmaker as an artist not always embedded in making an obvious horror movie is so key. My attention lately has been gone to that book and movie Lord of the Flies, because I have two young boys and somehow or another we got on the subject of that book. I was telling them how I read it when I was ten years old and [how] it’s really an important book for them to read because it shows the importance of culture, social norms, rules and regulations, what it means to live in a civilized society and what happens when all that just disappears. How things tend to turn to savagery. I realized that when I saw that film I was about ten or eleven, [and] it scared the living shit out of me as much as any horror movie I’d seen at that point. Especially the whole thing with Piggy and the monster. It was intense. So I would have to say, Lord of the Flies, the original one from ’63, [the] black and white version is intense and a real suspenseful horror film in disguise. It’s not even in disguise, it is a horror film to me.

TF: Especially if you see it as a kid, it’s terrifying just because…

KH: …because you think, “Oh, that can happen to me!”

TF: It definitely touches upon…

KH: …parenting!

TF: I know, going to camp, being at school.

KH: Adulthood, you know?

TF: Ironically that film, even though I’ve seen the old film, the remake of it came right about when I was about ten, in maybe ’89? That was the first one I saw, and then I saw the older one because it was on TV not very far in time after that. And it’s one of those films I don’t want to see again, because it made me feel so bad. I have a lot of those.

KH: Yeah, there’s a few films that I feel that [about] way too. Another unintentional horror film that scared the living hell out of me when I was a kid, [was] Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs. An intense film. Almost, almost a slasher film. You know, predates that whole genre, but the violence in that film hits on such a deep emotional level that, yeah, that’s one I won’t watch again.

TF: Can I just throw in there a film I wanted to flag that genuinely made me fucking squirm, was a film from the ‘70s called Alice, Sweet Alice.

KH: Oh, I remember that one, yeah!

TF: It was an American film and I guess technically it’s a little bit of a slasher, but as [with] many films that I like, they don’t contain a ton of motives. It’s set outside New York, New Jersey maybe, mid-‘70s. Weather’s shit all the time. The environment is kinda like, uggh. And it’s just one of those films that also makes me… I like it. I like my memory of it. But I don’t want to see it again because it’s like so creepy. It smells.

KH: Yeah, it smells and you can’t really get it off. I know that feeling.

KH: Okay, let’s talk about the devil for a minute. The whole thing with the devil, how I see old Beelzebub, is actually the God bot. He was actually the god Pan, the pagan god Pan that the Christians took and basically used as the model for Satan, you know, a horned person with goat’s legs [and] whatever. So that in itself kinda muddies the waters for me, because every time I see a picture of Satan, I’m like, “Cool, fucking Satan” but in the back of my mind [it’s] Pan or Bacchus. That’s why I wear Satanic shirts all the time; I’m not wearing it for the sake of Satan, I’m wearing it for the sake of Pan or Bacchus, that’s what I’m really doing. And so having said that, for me, the ultimate devil movie, the ultimate Satan movie of all time that really hit me fucking deep and I thought I was gonna burn in hell after watching it, is The Exorcist. I mean, that is like the ultimate fucking devil shit. What can I say, I was a Catholic schoolboy when I saw it. I thought he was coming for me next. I thought I was gonna be possessed because of all the bad shit I did when I was a Catholic schoolboy. I just, I thought I had a big mark on my head. For six months after seeing that film I had to sleep with the lights on.

TF: I have a few favorite cult films, The Exorcist being one. I love the fact that even though the devil is present, he/she only really appears at one moment, really. He is not this ever present sort of monster that they would’ve done in many films today, this CGI sort of person that does way too much [in the way of] interaction.

KH: You have a total point there, and horror films are totally guilty of exactly that, Satan interacting way more than is realistic.

TF: Yeah, and that’s something that I really like about The Omen as well. The Omen I, II, III, up until the ending of …III, is one of my favorite sort of series when it comes to pure satanic horror. Up until the ending, because that’s when someone [was] just like, “Wait a minute, are we selling this point that this devil is-?” No, no, no, no, no! God’s hand just came down, and that’s the ending. It’s like the biggest fucking cock-block ever!

KH: Yeah. It’s like running into a brick wall. You have a point there. But you know, I think they had to do that or else we’d be seeing The Omen 12, The Omen 13, The Omen 14…

TF: Well, there was four.

KH: I remember seeing the ad for it, but you know, by that point it’s like, Omen IV?! Ah, you know…when sequels start going up past three, usually other groups and other parties [have] come in, other different creative entities, or a studio’s trying to keep something afloat or revive it somehow.

TF: However I must throw one “four” in there that is actually my favorite of a series, and that’s actually Friday the 13th IV.

It picks you up right after number three, it starts horrifically and it has all the good components of that whole series, in my opinion. I think three is cool but Four was like that multiplied. And that’s when you had all the ingredients, Jason had his mask, he wasn’t too fucked up, and, yeah. I think that there is a four.

So OK, at this point time was starting to run away from us and we had gig stuff to get on with, so we agreed to pick up this chat in August and as we were about to get up, someone in the room asked if truth was stranger than fiction, so being good sports, we thought we’d answer that!

KH: You never know what’s gonna be true. With fiction, it’s kinda like everything is fiction in the world of fiction, but in truth, something might look true but it’s false, or something might look false and it’s true, and that’s the paradox right there. You never know what’s true until you actually break the veneer and like look. And these days, because of things like the internet, you can’t take anything at face value anymore. You cannot. It’s foolish to. It’s always good to crack the veneer [and] look a little bit deeper at what you’re actually seeing, so I would have to say that you in most cases, it’s hard to find out what the truth is. But yes, there’s been times when I’ve read or seen or found out stuff that’s been true, and no one could dream up this shit in any sort of movie or book.

TF: Just taking two examples that are currently in my head, comparing truth to fiction, especially comparing it to cinema, if you take a film like, have you seen Vice? It has nothing to do with “horror” but it’s horrific.

KH: Yeah, it’s horrific. Especially what he did to his body just to play that part.

TF: Yeah, just from a film crafting point, it’s done very well and Sam Rockwell is the best George Bush, Jr. I’ve ever seen. But imagine if that was just a made-up script. It would’ve been… you can’t make that shit up. It would’ve been a completely stupid movie! But it’s not made up, so it’s a fucking horrendous story that you need to see, it’s a fantastic film.

KH: That’s a really good point.

TF: And [in] that way, I think that the truth is definitely stranger and more horrific than fiction. Speaking of horror, I was thinking about this just today because today we are in Manchester. I took a train up from London to here, and when I was about 12 there was this horrific story that I read about that completely blew my mind, that I’m sure a lot of people especially in England remember and that was the murder of James Bulger, the little two-year-old. I think he was at the time. Four? The four-year-old at the time. And just being close to train tracks, going through England, thinking about him, it’s one of the worst things I can ever imagine. It’s heartbreaking, horrible. And even though there has been a film made about the subject, I haven’t dared to see [it] because I just can’t find myself doing it. I guess that says something about the truth being so horrifying, and to also realize that it was two kids that did this. That just makes me cry for the world and humanity, and that’s way worse than any horror film that I’ve ever seen.

As I already said a few times, to be continued!

Thanks everyone, Kirk

#ghost #the band ghost #ghost bc #tobias forge #tobias as tobias #kirk hammett #interview #text

1 note · View note

tisthenightofthewitch · 6 years ago

Text

LAUGHING WITH THE DEVIL • GHOST PREPARES TO RIDE A PALE TOUR NAMED DEATH THROUGH SACRAMENTO

When I was a fourth grader, a friend of mine got me hooked on Iron Maiden’s Live After Death. Sure, there was a zombie looking dude on the cover that kind of creeped me out, I figured it was harmless fun. A cousin of mine found out I was listening to heavy metal and freaked out on me. She told me it was the devil’s music and I was going to go to hell or something for listening to it. I don’t really remember the whole thing because I was, like, 10 and it was the ‘80s, and she freaked me the fuck out. Turns out that traumatized me more than any Maiden song ever did. I thought about this while I was coming up with questions for the following interview with Tobias Forge, frontman for Swedish metal band Ghost, who has tapped into that whole satanic panic thing and ran with it. Heck, it’s even earned him a Grammy.

Ghost released its debut album (Opus Eponymous) in 2010, but no one even knew who was in the group—at least officially—until 2017. Forge, Ghost’s sole songwriter, had his identity revealed when former bandmates filed a lawsuit against him. The ex-band members claimed they were owed profits because Ghost was a collaboration, whereas Forge saw the band as a solo project with a rotating cast of players. After our interview, on Oct. 17, a Swedish court dismissed the lawsuit, ordering the ex-band members to pay Forge’s legal fees, according to Blabbermouth.net.

Prior to his legal battle, Forge was known as Papa Emeritus I, II and III, the skull-faced anti-popes who front Ghost’s band of Nameless Ghouls. For the band’s latest album, Prequelle, which was released April 2018, Forge has taken on the mantle of Cardinal Copia, who looks sort of like a demonic Tony Clifton. The album is loosely based on the Black Plague, which ravaged Europe during the mid-14th Century. The lead single from the album, “Rats,” is a driving, arena-sized rocker. Its corresponding music video is as whimsically choreographed as it is gory. These things may seem contradictory, but Forge probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your stage presence is pretty theatrical. Are rehearsals for your live show more akin to, say, those for a Broadway show, or do you focus primarily on the music? We tend to focus more on the music. I’m not a super-fan of rehearsing [laughs]. It’s hard to summon the spirit to appear when there’s no smoke machine on and when the lights are different. I tend to find those sort of rehearsals are more for muscle memory, in terms of just making sure I can sing a certain thing … Especially when you’re rehearsing a new set, because this time around we’re going to change up the set a little and at least try to play a few songs that we haven’t played before, and you always want to try that … More than often, there’s a reason for a song not being played, and it might just be that it doesn’t work out very well. It’s hard to play, and you never really get that vibe going. The placement of the song in the set is very important. Like, OK, we’re going to try this song after this one now and see if the energy is right. It’s a little bit more mathematical and in a sense more scientific, whereas once you do the first show, that’s when you go into the role a little bit more, and it gets a little bit more magical or whatever.

Is there a particular song that you’re looking forward to playing live for the first time? Oh … aaaahhhh … I don’t really want to give it away right now! There may be a song on the list right now that we end up not playing. Let’s put it this way, there are some songs from the new album that we haven’t played before, and also there are some songs that we’ve played in the past, and other songs that we haven’t played from previous albums that we are considering playing. But again, you need to play them together and try them out. The real test is trying them in front of an audience. There have been songs throughout our tours that I thought were going to be really good to play live, but then once you play it, it just does not fly because the crowd isn’t responding very well. It doesn’t mean that they start booing, but you notice that it goes down in intensity … or you see people lose their interest, or that’s when they all of a sudden go buy beers.

Does that take you out of character when you’re on stage? You have the music, which is awesome, but you also have the visual component that goes with it. Is that part of why the setlist is so important? Oh, absolutely. Sometimes, I guess people, especially nowadays, people have a tendency to watch live shows beforehand on YouTube, and some people want to know the setlist beforehand, which I strongly recommend people not to. There’s a reason for a setlist being the way it is. As much as I admire Bruce Springsteen for taking requests, basically, for us it does not work like that …

In my perfect world, I’m a little bit of a … what do you call it? I like comfort in the sense that preferably, I’d like to play the same set every night and get better at performing it that way, because you know how to distribute your energy so that by the last couple of songs, which are our most intense … You need to sort of sit on energy to make them explode.

It’s interesting to hear that you look for comfort in your live sets since you change your persona every album. Is that something that’s difficult to juggle—comfort versus not wanting to repeat yourself? When it comes to certain aspects, yes. When it comes to the live show, I think, let’s just say, most bands throughout rock history have found their form at some point. And then, after you’ve found that form, you don’t want to change too much. If that form has taken you to a certain plateau and that has given you a certain amount of success, that will be what people expect of you and that will be what you’re comfortable doing … However, what we do intend to change up, what will always change, more from a production point of view, is what we wear, what the stage looks like, effects and props and actors or whatever. One easy example of what I’m talking about that we should not do is that over the years, ever since Papa I became Papa II and onwards, there’s been a little vocal minority that felt that Papa I was menacing and evil, and they wanted that menacing evil to stay and any animation that went beyond that rigor mortis that he had was selling out or whatever. The thing is we can never return to that. That worked because we played 30 minutes in the dark, basically, with all fog on stage. That worked because you saw very little. But we can never go back to that because we’re playing big places now. We’re playing for two hours. You need animation. You need things to happen.

I watched the webisodes for the Prequelle album, and what struck me most about them was how funny they were. I liked that there was a sense of humor to them and not just all grim and foreboding. Is that something you enjoy playing with, too? I don’t want to say absurdity, but maybe the campiness that’s always been the backside of horror. Absolutely. I think campiness—for the lack of a nicer word for it—is very much in line with the trashier nature of the culture that is horror. I’m a big fan of kitsch. I’m a big fan of trash culture. For some reason, there’s a minority of people who tend to think that the devil and death metal and all that shouldn’t be in any way about humor. Even though, believe me, I truly admire and I really appreciate a good dose of serious, orthodox darkness as well, but for me, looking at it from a philosophical point of view, laughter and satire and comedy is very, very against establishment, church, conformity. For me, humor and comedic elements is, for one, very natural for me. I like things that are in one way or another comedic. But I think if there was an argument for the campiness overshadowing the seriousness that should be satanic metal, I definitely beg to differ. No, no, no, this is very blasphemous, because it’s about laughter. Laughter is the work of the devil. Remember The Name of the Rose? According to old ways of Christianity, laughter and comedy were definitely the work of the devil. I think this is in all aspects utterly blasphemous from that point of view. But, at the end of the day, I’m a big culture fan. I love kitsch and having fun and living my life and filling it with as many enriching things as possible. I think a lot of the things I find rewarding and pleasant in one way or another are represented in what I’m trying to do with Ghost.

Prequelle is sort of a modern re-telling of The Black Plague. How do you think that period of history relates to now? I’m talking from a Westerner living in a Western world perspective—we tend to talk about our contemporary time as being almost pre-apocalyptic. We tend to talk about the world as something that’s about to end. Of course, from an environmental point of view, maybe it is. I do not know, but maybe it is. But there are a lot of people on this earth who tend to persevere. We will probably do whatever it takes not to melt the ice, eventually … Maybe too late, but whatever. The thing is, the world has come to an end many, many times. In the 1340s and 1350s, people thought this was the end of the world. I’m sure that people in places other than the Western world are facing the end of the world. We all know that in Syria, millions of people were facing the end of their world. Looking in hindsight on The Black Plague in the 1300s, we know that it wasn’t. We had the 1400s, the 1500s … way further than anyone in the 1300s could ever imagine. I think especially now in modern days, we tend to pride ourselves in thinking, well, there’s nothing new to say, there’s nothing new to write. I think we overblow our significance and also the ultimate nature of the day that we’re living in. Who knows, maybe in 20 years, we’ll look back and say, “The 2010s, wow, I’m glad that’s over.” Like, look at a presidency. It’ll end after a few years. It’ll change. Things fucking change. They always do.

That’s an oddly hopeful message from the leader of a satanic metal band … It’s there to shine a light on the idea that things do change. Even though Prequelle on the surface is a record about death and dying, it’s actually a record about survival.

SubmergeMag.com

#Tobias Forge #Tobias Interview #The Band Ghost #Ghost Band #Cardinal Copia

83 notes · View notes