#this is Nadavs fault

[hyenabrainedpup]

New kink unlocked i guess 😳 cute lil puppy that needs to be dressed up and used for its owners amusement

[yvesdot]

THE SCAR / 750 words

No one could say Nadav wasn’t sweet, and now look how he displayed it so openly.

Flash fiction about a friend in a bad relationship and a narrator whose mind is decidedly, unhelpfully, elsewhere. Originally $5 on Patreon with Tragic Accident; now free for everyone! Or read below...

My friend Nadav’s scar ran up his face from his lips to his right eye, tearing a cut in his cheek like the inside of a pastry. No bones or blood, just dips and holes of pale brown filling. The way it looks when you pull something freshly baked open with your hands. 

I was very excited for him, obviously, when he got it, because a scar carries a lot of social capital. Also, at the time I was embarrassingly markless, so I felt like maybe this was hope that any of us could suddenly find ourselves distinguished. I’d spent a lot of time reading about skin as well as taking care of my own, so I thought certainly I would be next.

Now, Nadav would have off days. I mean, we all have off days, and I didn’t really connect it to the scar at the time. I thought of the scar as a positive: at least in hard times he had it. I didn’t say that, which is now a relief, but it certainly went through my mind. And I didn’t want to say anything, anyway, because he seemed so capable when it came to my bad days, so he probably had it well in hand, and maybe he was just having a difficult week, and to begin with it wasn’t any of my business. Besides, he had closer friends, so I figured if anything was wrong he wouldn’t need me to butt in. 

But the scar. The inside of it, the webbing, the texturing. He didn’t touch it, and neither did I. I didn’t even consider asking about it. No one could say Nadav wasn’t sweet, and now look how he displayed it so openly. Sometimes I would come by, and he would be sitting on the ledge by the bathroom sink, sewing it up with red thread in front of the mirror. I hoped there wasn’t anything to fix, obviously, but I didn’t want to ask. It was his face, and I didn’t have anything on mine, good or bad, and furthermore when we discussed skincare Nadav’s voice was quite present in the conversation. He knew things; he knew how to keep healthy. I didn’t bother him.

He told me, when it was over. He came to me and he told me about the beginning, and a sudden feeling of being in over his head, and how he’d tried to stick it out, and how much it had hurt. It hadn’t been what I thought it was, or, for that matter, what anyone else had thought it was. He hadn’t realized until it was too late. He didn’t blame me, not remotely.

Still, I had to make sense of the fact that I’d been so wrong. It’s all well and good to know the theory, to understand anything can happen to anyone, to tell somebody it isn’t their fault. And I did believe that. I just didn’t think of him as that type of person—not that there is a type, of course. Perhaps if I’d understood that better I would have noticed; it would have been there in my mind as a possibility.

I didn’t say this aloud, obviously. You can’t go to someone who’s suffering and inject them with your questions. I wanted to know how this could happen to someone so aware, how it could happen without my noticing, how many things I had brushed under the rug, why I had not been the one to save him. You always want to be the one to save them; you always want to say that you, you, you if nobody else could have noticed and understood and solved it all on your own. You wouldn’t have left him to fix it for himself, to slice it off piece by piece and finally run a knife down its entirety, exposing the tissue and bone. 

I did help to patch it. After. We all did what we could, covering the mess of his open jaw with bandages and tape, and when we finished you couldn’t tell anything had ever been under there. It was on the inside, now. We couldn’t watch it heal.

My friend Nadav had a scar like torn wallpaper. Like he had been peeled open for display, like a cake without fondant. Exposed on purpose, to show the inside. The quality. You could put your finger in to taste, if you were brave enough. I never was. Maybe that’s my problem.

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[thenewcastleincident]

♦: Relationship with your Muse.

‘It’s complicated’

But, I mean, which of my relationships with my muses isn’t (Except maybe Nadav who I just love unconditionally) and who’s relationship with John isn’t?

I don’t really think there is any surprise to why it’s a complicated relationship. He is probably one of the single best examples of the Anti Hero archetype that you can come up with, together with characters like Frank Castle.

I don’t agree with everything John does and a lot of the shit he gets himself into is his own damn fault. I don’t like his callousness that he projects, even if I understand where it’s coming from. I hate his arrogance, because more often than not, that is what gets others killed.

But I love his humanity. I love his journey from this arrogant kid who thinks he’s some hot shit because he memorised a few spells to the man who  is in a coma with shattered bones and a brain aneurism from a car accident and still finds it in him to go out of his way to let the woman who hit him know he forgives her when he finds out that she’s been sleep deprived because she lost her daughter a week ago and is haunted by the kid’s ghost.

I love that even though his life is fucked, when someone is at his door, asking for help, he will help. Yeah, he’s gonna be an arsehole about it, but he will help.

There are so many things in his canon that boil down to “Fuck, that’s messed up, John, but I get it.”, too. Start with Lester. Is it fucking messed up to use his friend as a demon trap? Yeah, but what other option was there? Use some innocent? Fuck no. Use himself? Yeah, that may have been an option, but Gary was dying already, he was the one to release Mnemnoth and, most importantly, Gary was the ideal candidate. Messed up, but necessary.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the pictures. I love him, but bloody hell, doesn’t he have some really fucked up moments and some fundamental issues that just don’t make him a ‘good’ person per se.

I will end on one thing, though: Throughout all his comic runs, starting with the very early editions, and with all his opportunistic, self preserving arseholery, John has never been one thing:

He has never, ever been a bigot. He’s been speaking out in his comics against racism and homophobia specifically.

So, I guess John would agree with me in saying: Black Lives Matter and Happy Pride month.

[yeah-another-aesthetic-blog]

Goodbye to the Decade: Aesthetic Series

3) Songs

After the series and the books, in this week here are 9 fragments of songs that I liked this decade, since I know that there aren’t so many spanish speakers between you, here is a translation of what the central song says “If there is nothing left to talk about, if there is nothing left to shut up, how can it hurt so much?” is Diciembre by La Oreja De Van Gogh

Like the previous posts in the series a keep reading it’s here, because warning here is the full list of all the songs that I have from this decade, and when I say all of them I mean all of them.No Particular order in them. Congratulations if you make till the end, if not, well I can’t blame you xD

Mirrors by Justin Timberlake 2013

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons 2012

Demons by Imagine Dragons 2012

Counting Stars by OneRepublic 2013

Really Really by Winner 2017

Russian Roulette by Red Velvet 2016

Troublemaker by Troublemaker 2011

Mean by Taylor Swift 2010

Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift 2010

We Are Never Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift 2012

I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift 2012

All Too Well by Taylor Swift 2012

Shake It Off by Taylor Swift 2014

Blank Space by Taylor Swift 2014

Bad Blood by Taylor Swift 2014

Look What You Make Me Do by Taylor Swift 2017

You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift 2019

Paper Rings by Taylor Swift 2019

The Man by Taylor Swift 2019

Closer by The Chainsmokers & Halsey 2016

Sad Girls by Melo Moreno 2018

Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish 2016

Bellyache by Billie Eilish 2017

Hostage by Billie Eilish 2017

My Boy by Billie Eilish 2017

Bad Guy by Billie Eilish 2019

You Should See Me In A Crown by Billie Eilish 2019

My Strange Addiction by Billie Eilish 2019

Ilomilo by Billie Eilish 2019

Pump Up Kicks by Foster The People 2010

Burn by Ellie Goulding 2013

Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars 2010

Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars 2010

The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars 2010

Grenade by Bruno Mars 2011

Locked Out Of Heaven by Bruno Mars 2012

When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars 2012

Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson 2011

Stitches by Shawn Mendes 215

Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes 2016

Señorita by Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello 2019

Born This Way by Lady Gaga 2011

Blow Me (One Last Kiss) by P!nk 2012

Elastic Heart by Sia 2013

Cheap Thrills by Sia & Sean Paul 2016

Up In The Air by 30 Seconds To Mars 2013

Gangnam Style by PSY 2012

Daddy by PSY 2015

Voodoo Doll by VIXX 2013

When Can I See You Again by Owl City 2012

Uza by AKB48 2012

Love Me Harder by Ariana Grande 2014

Into You by Ariana Grande 2015

Side To Side by Ariana Grande 2016

Thank U, Next by Ariana Grande 2018

Love The Way You Lie by Eminem & Rihanna 2010

The Monster by Eminem & Rihanna 2013

Hotter Than Hell by Dua Lipa 2016

Only Girl (In The World) by Rihanna 2010

Rude Boy by Rihanna 2010

All Of Me by John Legend 2013

No Need To Talk by C-Luv 2014

Papercut by Zedd & Troye Sivan 2015

Misery by Maroon 5 2010

Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 & Christina Aguilera 2011

Payphone by Maroon 5 2012

One More Night by Maroon 5 2012

Lucky Strike by Maroon 5 2012

The Man Who Never Lied by Maroon 5 2012

Animals by Maroon 5 2014

Maps by Maroon 5 2014

Sugar by Maroon 5 2015

Lips On You by Maroon 5 2017

Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots 2015

Ride by Twenty One Pilots 2015

Heathens by Twenty One Pilots 2016

Chlorine by Twenty One Pilots 2018

Teenage Dream by Katy Perry 2010

Firework by Katy Perry 2010

Corazón En La Maleta by Luis Fonsi 2014

Lego House by Ed Sheeran 2011

Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran 2014

Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran 2017

I Want You To Know by Zedd & Selena Gomez 2015

Burning In The Skies by Linkin Park 2010

Waiting For The End by Linkin Park 2010

Iridescent by Linkin Park 2010

The Catalyst by Linkin Park 2010

Lost In The Echo by Linkin Park 2012

In My Remains by Linkin Park 2012

Burn It Down by Linkin Park 2012

Lies Greed Misery by Linkin Park 2012

I’ll Be Gone by Linkin Park 2012

Castle Of Glass by Linkin Park 2012

Victimized by Linkin Park 2012

Skin To Bone by Linkin Park 2012

Powerless by Linkin Park 2012

A Light That Never Comes by Steve Aoki & Linkin Park 2013

Guilty All The Same by Linkin Park 2014

War by Linkin Park 2014

Wastelands by by Linkin Park 2014

Until It’s Gone by Linkin Park 2014

Rebellion by Linkin Park 2014

Final Masquerade by Linkin Park 2014

Darker Than Blood by Steve Aoki & Linkin Park 2015

Nobody Can Save Me by Linkin Park 2017

Good Goodbye by Linkin Park & Pusha T & Stormzy 2017

Talking To Myself by Linkin Park 2017

Battle Symphony by Linkin Park 2017

Invisible by Linkin Park 2017

Heavy by Linkin Park & Kiiara 2017

Sorry For Now by Linkin Park 2017

Halfway Right by Linkin Park 2017

One More Light by Linkin Park 2017

Sharp Edges by Linkin Park 2017

50 Ways To Say Goodbye by Train 2012

60’s Cardin by Glen Check 2011

Paint It Gold by Glen Check 2013

I’ve Got This Feeling by Glen Check 2013

Ain’t My Fault by Zara Larsson 2016

Oh Nana by K.A.R.D 2016

Solo by Jay Park 2015

Mommae by Jay Park & Ugly Duck 2015

Me Like Yuh by Jay Park & Hoody 2016

All I Wanna Do by Jay Park & Hoody & Loco 2016

Teardrops by Emmelie De Forest 2013

Calm After The Storm by The Common Linnets 2014

Tonight Again by Guy Sebastian 2014

Golden Boy by Nadav Guedj 2015

Goodbye To Yesterday by Elina Born & Stig Rästa 2015

Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw 2015

Alter Ego by Minus One 2016

Occidentalis Karma by Francesco Gabbani 2017

Fuego by Eleni Foureira 2018

Bboom Bboom by Momoland 2018

Cool For The Summer by Demi Lovato 2015

Solo by Clean Bandit &  Demi Lovato 2018

Busted by Electroboyz & C-Luv 2013

MaBoy 3 by Electroboyz & Nana 2013

Lo Malo by Aitana & Ana Guerra 2018

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) by Fall Out Boy 2013)

Centuries by Fall Out Boy 2014

Immortals by Fall Out Boy 2014

Closer by Oh My Girl 2015

Control by Halsey 2015

Graveyard by Halsey 2016

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Backstreet Boys 2018

Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man 2017

Venus by Hello Venus 2012

Do You Want Some Tea by Hello Venus 2013

I’m Ill by Hello Venus 2015

Wiggle Wiggle by Hello Venus 2015

La La La by Naughty Boy & Sam Smith 2013

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay & Beyonce 2015

Love Myself by Hailee Steinfeld 2015

Female Robbery by The Neighbourhood 2012

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood 2013

Cry Baby by The Neighbourhood 2015

Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood 2015

Go Crazy! by 2PM 2014

Playboy by EXO 2015

Monster by EXO 2016 

One Woman Army by Porcelain Black 2014

Need You Now by Lady Antebellum 2010

Just A Kiss Goodnight by Lady Antebellum 2011 

Little Apple by Chopstick Brothers 2014

Handclap by Fitz And The Tantrums 2016

Hann by (G)I-DLE 2018 

Youngblood by 5 Seconds Of Summer 2018

Easier by 5 Seconds Of Summer 2019

Teeth by 5 Seconds Of Summer 2019

Pretty Woman by Hebe Tien 2015

Fiction by Highlight 2011

Good Luck by Highlight 2014

Impermeable by Ha*Ash 2011

Lo Aprendí De Ti by Ha*Ash 2014

Peligro by Reik 2011

Que Ganó Olvidándote by Reik 2016

Spanglish by Reik 2016

Ya Me Enteré by Reik 2016

Barbie De Extrarradio by Melendi 2010

Canción De Amor Caducada by Melendi 2010

Lágrimas Desordenadas by Melendi 2012

Cheque Al Portamor by Melendi 2012

Tocado y Hundido by Melendi 2014

Otro Lío De Melendi by Melendi 2014

La Casa No Es Igual by Melendi 2016

Sor María by Maná 2011

Mayday by Oran-G 2011

Mi Novia Se Me Está Poniendo Vieja by Ricardo Arjona 2011

Lo Poco Que Tengo by Ricardo Arjona 2014

La Niña Que Llora En Tus Fiestas by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2011

Cometas Por El Cielo by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2011

El Primer Día Del Resto De Mi Vida by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2013

Estoy Contigo by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Diciembre by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Verano by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Camino De Tú Corazón by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Intocables by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

No Vales Más Que Yo by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Cuando Menos Lo Merezca by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Mi Pequeño Gran Valiente by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Siempre by La Oreja de Van Gogh 2016

Bang! by After School 2010

Love Love Love by After School 2010

Someone Is You by After School 2010

Let’s Step Up by After School 2011

Shampoo by After School 2011

Virgin by After School 2011

Play Ur Love by After School 2011

Dream by After School 2011

Are You Doing Ok? by After School 2011

Funky Man by After School 2011

Into The Night Sky by After School 2011

Hollywood by After School 2011

Wonderboy by After School 2011

Lady by After School 2011

Ready To Love by After School 2011

Love Letter by After School & Son Dambi & Minhyun & Baekho & Xiyeon 2011

Rambling Girls by After School 2012

Broken Heart by After School 2012

Just In Time by After School 2012

Gimme Love by After School 2012

Miss Futuristic by After School 2012

Tell Me by After School 2012

Rip Off by After School 2012

Flashback by After School 2012

Eyeline by After School 2012

Wristwatch by After School 2012

8 Hot Girl by After School 2013

First Love by After School 2013

Dressing Room by After School 2013

Time’s Up by After School 2013

Love Beat by After School 2013

Heaven by After School 2013

Crazy Driver by After School 2013

Shh by After School 2014

Rock It! by After School 2014

Week by After School 2014

Dress To Kill by After School 2014

Ms. Independent by After School 2014

Triangle by After School 2014

Yes No Yes by After School 2014

In The Moonlight by After School 2014

Spotlight by After School 2014

Lucky Girl by After School 2014

Shine by After School 2015

Magic Girl by Orange Caramel 2010

Aing~♥ by Orange Caramel 2010

One Love by Orange Caramel 2010

Bangkok City by Orange Caramel 2011

Shanghai Romance by Orange Caramel 2011

Close Your Eyes by Orange Caramel 2011

Funny Hunny by Orange Caramel 2011

Yashashii Akuma by Orange Caramel 2012

Bubble Bath by Orange Caramel 2012

Milkshake by Orange Caramel 2012

Lipstick by Orange Caramel 2012

Lamu No Love Song by Orange Caramel 2012

Dashing Through The Snow In High Heels by Orange Caramel & NU’EST 2012

Cookie, Cream & Mint by by Orange Caramel 2013

Tenshi No Wink by Orange Caramel 2013

Red Shoes by Orange Caramel 2013

Catallena by Orange Caramel 2014

So Sorry by Orange Caramel 2014

Cried Uncontrollably by Orange Caramel 2014

Abing Abing by Orange Caramel 2014

My Copycat by Orange Caramel 2014

The Gangnam Avenue by Orange Caramel 2014

Tonight by Orange Caramel 2014

Reminding Me by Shawn Hook & Vanessa Hudgens 2017

Lay With Me by The Phantoms & Vanessa Hudgens 2018

Y by MBLAQ 2010

One Better Day by MBLAQ 2010

Running & Running by MBLAQ 2010

Sad Memories by MBLAQ 2011

Stay by MBLAQ 2011

Cry by MBLAQ 2011

Wish You Hadn’t by MBLAQ 2011

Mona Lisa by MBLAQ 2011

I Don’t Know by MBLAQ 2011

Baby U! by MBLAQ 2011

Again by MBLAQ 2011

It’s War by MBLAQ 2012

Hello My Ex by MBLAQ 2012

Run by MBLAQ 2012

100% by MBLAQ 2012

Sexy Beat by MBLAQ 2013

Smoky Girl by MBLAQ 2013

R U OK? by MBLAQ 2013

Celebrate by MBLAQ 2013

Pretty Girl by MBLAQ 2013

Dress Up by MBLAQ 2013

No Love by MBLAQ 2013

Broken by MBLAQ 2014

Be A Man by MBLAQ 2014

Key by MBLAQ 2014

Because There Are Two by MBLAQ 2014

Mirror by MBLAQ 2015

Hey U by MBLAQ 2015

I Know U Want Me by MBLAQ 2015

Tea Party by Kerli 2010

Army Of Love by Kerli 2011

Zero Gravity by Kerli 2012

The Lucky Ones by Kerli 2012

Last Breath by Kerli 2012

Sugar by Kerli 2013

Savages by Kerli 2018

Legends by Kerli 2019

Oh! by Girl’s Generation 2010

Run Devil Run by Girl’s Generation 2010

Hoot by Girl’s Generation 2010

Mr. Taxi by Girl’s Generation 2011

Trick by Girl’s Generation 2011

Paparazzi by Girl’s Generation 2012

Flower Power by Girl’s Generation 2012

Animal by Girl’s Generation 2012

Mr. Mr. by Girl’s Generation 2014

Lucifer by SHINee 2010

Sherlock by SHINee 2011

Dazzling Girl by SHINee 2012

Dream Girl by SHINee 2013

View by SHINee 2015

Dark Star by Jaymes Young 2013

Two More Minutes by Jaymes Young 2013

Moondust by Jaymes Young 2013

Running On Fumes by Jaymes Young 2013

As Long As You Love Me by Jaymes Young 2013

Habits Of My Heart by Jaymes Young 2014

I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young 2014

What Should I Do by Jaymes Young 2014

Sugar Burn by Jaymes Young 2017

Black Magic by Jaymes Young 2017

Infinity by Jaymes Young 2017

Paradox by Jaymes Young 2019

Bonamana by Super Junior 2010

Boom Boom by Super Junior 2010

My Only Girl by Super Junior 2010

Shake It Up! by Super Junior 2010

My All Is In You by Super Junior 2010

Good Person by Super Junior 2010

No Other by Super Junior 2010

Perfection by Super Junior M 2011

Off My Mind by Super Junior M 2011

Mr. Simple by Super Junior 2011

Opera by Super Junior 2011

Feels Good by Super Junior 2011

A-CHA by Super Junior 2011

Sexy, Free & Single by Super Junior 2012

From U by Super Junior 2012

Butterfly by Super Junior 2012

Break Down by Super Junior  M 2013

I Wanna Dance by Super Junior D&E 2013

Mamacita by Super Junior 2014

Evanesce by Super Junior 2014

Shirt by Super Junior 2014

This Is Love by Super Junior 2014

Can You Feel It? by Super Junior D&E 2015

Devil by Super Junior 2015

Magic by Super Junior 2015

Black Suit by Super Junior 2017

Love Song by Rain 2010

Hip Song by Rain 2010

Same by Rain & C-Luv 2010

Busan Girl by Rain 2011

30 Sexy by Rain 2013

La Song by Rain 2013 

Marilyn Monroe by Rain 2013

Baby by Rain 2013

Superman by Rain 2013

Face by NU’EST 2012

Action by NU’EST 2012

Not Over You by NU’EST 2012

Hello by NU’EST 2013

Beautiful Solo by NU’EST 2013

Sleep Talking by NU’EST 2013

Good Bye Bye by NU’EST 2014

I’m Bad by NU’EST 2015

Overcome by NU’EST 2016

My Heaven by NU’EST 2016

In Fact by NU’EST 2016

R.L.T.L (Real Love True Love) by NU’EST 2016

Love Paint by NU’EST 2016

Look (A Starlight Night) by NU’EST 2016

Just One Day by NU’EST W 2017

Where You At by NU’EST W 2017

Paradise by NU’EST W 2017

Good Love by NU’EST W 2017

With by NU’EST W 2017

I’ve Been Happy Till Now by NU’EST W 2017

Dejavu by NU’EST W 2018

Signal by NU’EST W 2018

Polaris by NU’EST W 2018

YlenoL by NU’EST W 2018

Gravity&Moon by NU’EST W 2018

Shadow by NU’EST W 2018

Bet Bet by NU’EST 2019

Bass by NU’EST 2019

Different by NU’EST 2019

Universe by NU’EST 2019

Shining Diamond by Seventeen 2015

Adore U by Seventeen 2015

Jam Jam by Seventeen 2015

20 by Seventeen 2015

Fronting by Seventeen 2015

Mansae by Seventeen 2015

OMG by Seventeen 2015

Rock by Seventeen 2015

Pretty U by Seventeen 2016

Nice by Seventeen 2016

Healing by Seventeen 2016

Simple by Seventeen 2016

Boom Boom by Seventeen 2016

Highlight by Seventeen 2016

My I by Seventeen 2017

Clap by Seventeen 2017

Sweet Dream by MFBTY 2013

The Cure by MFBTY 2013

Angel by MFBTY 2014

Buckubucku by MFBTY & EE & Dino-J & RM 2015

Bang Diggy Bang Bang by MFBTY 2015

Fly Like An Eagle by MFBTY 2015

Forever Love by Min Kyung Hoon 2019

My Everything by Han Seung Hee 2019

Take Out My Heart by Jung Dong Ha 2019

Empty by JYJ 2010

Be My Girl by JYJ 2010

Get Out by JYJ 2011

Mission by JYJ 2011

Only One by JYJ 2013

Back Seat by JYJ 2014

Letting Go by JYJ 2014

Baboboy by JYJ 2014

Valentine by JYJ 2014

One Kiss by Jaejoong 2013

Mine by Jaejoong 2013

Kiss B by Jaejoong 2013

Just Another Girl by Jaejoong 2013

Good Morning Night by Jaejoong 2016

Drawer by Jaejoong 2016

Love You More by Jaejoong 2016

Love You To Death by Jaejoong 2016

Welcome To My Wild World by Jaejoong 2016

All That Glitters by Jaejoong 2016

Tarantallegra by Xiah & Flowsik 2012

Incredible by Xiah & Quincy 2013

OeO by Xiah 2015

Stylo by Gorillaz & Mos Def & Bobby Womack 2010

On Melancholy by Hill Gorillaz 2010

To Binge by Gorillaz & Yukimi Nagano 2010

Detroit by Gorillaz 2010

Doncamatic by Gorillaz & Daley 2010

DoYaThing by Gorillaz & Andre 3000 & James Murphy2012

Ascension by Gorillaz & Vince Staples 2017

Strobelite by Gorillaz & Peven Everett 2017

Staturnz Barz by Gorillaz & Popcaan 2017

Moments by Gorillaz & De La Soul 2017

Submission by Gorillaz & Danny Brown & Kelela 2017

Charger by Gorillaz & Grace Jones 2017

Andromeda by Gorillaz & D.R.A.M 2017

Busted And Blue by Gorillaz 2017

Let Me Out by Gorillaz & Mavis Staples & Pusha T 2017

She’s My Collar by Gorillaz & Kali Uchis 2017

We Got The Power by Gorillaz & Jehnny Beth & Noel Gallagher 2017

The Apprentice by Gorillaz & Rag’n’Bone Man & Zebra Katz & Ray BLK 2017

Out Of Body by Gorillaz & Kilo Kish & Zebra Katz & Imani Vonshà 2017

Ticker Tape by Gorillaz & Carly Simon & Kali Uchis 2017

Time In A Tree by Raleigh Ritchie 2018

Inevitable by Dulce Maria 2010

Luna by Dulce Maria 2010

Dicen by Dulce Maria 2011

Antes Que Ver El Sol by Dulce Maria 2014

Te Quedarás by Dulce Maria & Frankie J 2014

Cementerio De Los Corazones Rotos by Dulce Maria 2014

O Lo Haces Tú O Lo Hago Yo by Dulce Maria 2014

Un Minuto Sin Dolor by Dulce Maria 2017

Rompecorazones by Dulce Maria 2017

No Sé Llorar by Dulce Maria 2017

Catch Me by TVXQ 2012

Humanoids by TVXQ 2012

Something by TVXQ 2014

The Chance Of Love by TVXQ 2018

Something by Girl’s Day 2014

Bubble Pop by Hyuna 2011

Make It Happen by Namie Amuro & After School 2011

Hands On Me by Namie Amuro 2013

Neonlight Lipstick by Namie Amuro 2013

We Don’t Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth & Selena Gomez 2016

Attention by Charlie Puth 2017

How Long by Charlie Puth 2017

Done For Me by Charlie Puth & Kehlani 2018

The Way I Am by Charlie Puth 2018

LA Girls by Charlie Puth 2018

Slow It Down by Charlie Puth 2018

Empty Cups by Charlie Puth 2018

I Warned Myself by Charlie Puth 2019

Mother by Charlie Puth 2019

Cheating On You by Charlie Puth 2019

Candy by Robbie Williams 2012

We Are Bulletproof Pt.2 by BTS 2013

No More Dream by BTS 2013

N.O by BTS 2013

If I Ruled The World by BTS 2013

Coffee by BTS 2013

Attack On Bangtan by BTS 2013

Boy In Luv by BTS 2014

Just One Day by BTS 2014

Tomorrow by BTS 2014

Spine Breaker by BTS 2014

Jump by BTS 2014

Miss Right by BTS 2014

Danger by BTS 2014

War Of Hormone by BTS 2014

Let Me Know by BTS 2014

Cypher Pt. 3: Killer by BTS 2014

Blanket Kick by BTS 2014

2nd Grade by BTS 2014

Look Here by BTS 2014

I Need U by BTS 2015

Dope by BTS 2015

Boyz With Fun by BTS 2015

Converse High by BTS 2015

Run by BTS 2015

Butterfly by BTS 2015

Whalien 52 by BTS 2015

Ma City by BTS 2015

Baepsae by BTS 2015

House Of Cards by BTS 2015

Fire by BTS 2016

Save Me by BTS 2016

Young Forever by BTS 2016

Boy Meets Evil by BTS 2016

Blood, Sweat & Tears by BTS 2016

Begin by BTS 2016

Reflection by BTS 2016

MAMA by BTS 2016

Lost by BTS 2016

Cypher 4 by BTS 2016

Am I Wrong by BTS 2016

21st Century Girl by BTS 2016

Wings by BTS 2016

Spring Day by BTS 2017

Not Today by BTS 2017

You Never Walk Alone by BTS 2017

Serendipity by BTS 2017

DNA by BTS 2017

Best Of Me by BTS & The Chainsmokers 2017

Dimples by BTS 2017

Pied Piper by BTS 2017

MIC Drop by BTS 2017

Go Go by BTS 2017

Fake Love by BTS 2018

134340 by BTS 2018

Paradise by BTS 2018

Love Maze by BTS 2018

Airplane Pt.2 by BTS 2018

Anpanman by BTS 2018

So What by BTS 2018

Idol by BTS 2018

Persona by BTS 2019

Boy With Luv by BTS & Halsey 2019

Mikrokosmos by BTS 2019

Make It Right by BTS 2019

Home by BTS 2019

Dionysus by BTS 2019

Do You by RM 2015

So Far Away by Suga & Suran 2016

Daydream by J-Hope 2018

Comeback Again by Infinite 2010

Waste It On Me by Steve Aoki & BTS 2018

Be Mine by Infinite 2011

Paradise by Infinite 2011

The Chaser by Infinite 2012

Safe And Sound by Capital Cities 2013

Wake Me Up by Avicii 2013

Sparks by Hilary Duff 2015

Aquí Voy by Jesse & Joy 2011

¿Con Quién Se Queda El Perro? by Jesse & Joy 2012

Decidiste Dejarme by Camila 2014

Saturno by Pablo Alboran 2017

Jenny Of Oldstones by Florence + The Machine 2019

¿No Podíamos Ser Agua? by Maldita Nerea 2011

En El Mundo Genial De Las Cosas Que Dices by Maldita Nerea 2011

Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor 2014

NO by Meghan Trainor 2016

[weekinethereum]

September 7, 2018

News and Links

Protocol

[Eth2.0] shasper implementer call notes. Also some good VDF evaluator discussion on r/ethereum

[Eth 2.0] Prysmatic dev update

[Eth 2.0] Who is building what in Ethereum 2.0?

[sharding] Batched cross-shard transaction fee payment

[Casper] Latest Casper standup call

[Casper] Parallelizing Lamport’s 99% fault tolerant consensus

[State channels] Unavailability griefing with Pisa explainer

[State channels] Forward Timelocked Contracts

[Plasma] Plasma chains with enforced consistency between multiple parent chains

[wasm] Wasabi: A Framework for Dynamically Analyzing WebAssembly

[wasm] Raul Jordan: WebAssembly and the future of blockchain

[starks] Cheap hash functions for zkSNARK merkle-tree proofs, which can be calculated on-chain

[starks] Roll up: scale Eth with starks from Barry WhiteHat

Stuff for developers

Toward frictionless upgradeability from Zeppelin’s Fran Giordano

Contract upgrade anti-patterns from Trail of Bits

Trail of Bits explains its binary static analysis tool, Rattle

Superblocks releases its new IDE

DateTime library v1.00 from Bokky

Another web3swift with ENS support

Loredana’s latest video demo of Pipeline visual IDE

Tutorial on writing private transactions with Parity’s Secret Store

Boilerplate for Truffle5 + Solium + Zeppelin + Coveralls

Code for Delegated Execution Subscriptions[EIP1337/EIP948]

Strengthening the weakest link in smart contract security -  “onlyOwner”

Exploring the Ethereum chain with Quickblocks. and part 2

OpenZeppelin 2.0 release candidate

Releases

Parity v2.0.3 beta

Trinity v0.1.0-alpha.15

web3.js 1.0.0-beta.36

Live on mainnet

Connext’s first payment channel hub (Spankchain) is live on mainnet

Spankchain also began the process of releasing its stablecoin BOOTY, which is heavily collateralized by its native token. You stake SPANK to get BOOTY. (links should be safe for work)

Zinc launches ERC725 identities on mainnet

Bounties Network exploreris live (and get your BRLN coinat ETHBerlin)

0x v2 deployed to mainnet

Dether is live, so you can trade ETH locally in 120 countries

DDA goes live with 1 week long & short tokens available on ETH/USD (5X multiplier) and BTC/USD (1X multiplier

BZx margin trading protocol launches on mainnet, Bamboo Relay should have margin trading live on Monday

Ecosystem

.xyz names are now supported by ENS on mainnet

Alethio’s visualization of opcodes over blocktime

Rinkeby consensus failure port-mortem

Dogethereum bridge is live with Doge mainnet and Rinkeby

Sina Habibian: identity and reputation in web3

Enterprise

Scaling for enterprise: explaining the IBFT algorithm

Governance and Standards

ERC809/1201: Tokenizing Non-fungible Access

Dean Eigenmann: Blockchains are not companies

Last call for ERC1167 minimal proxy contract

ERC1376: service friendly token

ERC1384: equity agreement standard

Project Updates

FunFair to launch this month after it got a Curaçao gambling license

Aragon Core as decentralized OS

Raiden v.0.8.0 update

Digix’s two votes: rewards pool 4.2%, 97% voted to give them 20m USD, 34% participation

Maecenas raised 1.7m for 31.5% of an Andy Warhol painting

omiseGO ewallet update

Maker monthly update

Golem’s call for potential use cases

Dmunity has a beta release of their Reddit-like app on Ethereum

An early Brave 1.0 beta release. Current Brave stats: >4m mau

Peepeth cancelled the Kickstarter and is doing a crypto-only fundraiser

Interviews, Podcasts, Videos, Talks

Phillip Angele talks Livepeer at Berlin meetup

Arthur Falls returns with an interview of Zilliqa’s Amrit Kumar and Xinshu Dong

Open Source Block Explorers community call

Kleros on Epicenter

Bernhard Müller on Hashing It Out

Nadav Hollander with Laura Shin

Gnosis CTO Stefan George on Inchained

Tokens / Business

TechCrunch published a sloppy anti-ETH op-ed this week (no link). Check out Ameen Soleimani’s response and Vitalik Buterin’s.

A false report may have tumbled cryptoasset prices this week, but Nathaniel Popper says Goldman is still moving forward with cryptoasset futures/forwards.

Brayton Williams on using and investing in dapps

ERC998 and the future of blockchain game assets

Introducing the equilibrium bonding market

Dynamic token bonding curves

General

A comparison of interoperability protocols - Polkadot, Cosmos, Wanchain, Icon and Aion

Gavin Wood: why we need web3

Cosmos August update

Zilliqa’s thinking on dev and user challenges of sharded chains

Grin testnet <> Ropsten testnet atomic swap

Aurora: Transparent Succinct Arguments for R1CS

Liberal Radicalism: Formal Rules for a Society Neutral Among Communities by Buterin, Hitzig and Weyl

Shapeshift is moving to an account-based approach

Coursera and ConsenSys intro to blockchains course

With issuance reduction to 2 ETH per block, Bitcoin and Ethereum now have similar inflation rates

Always good for a laugh: Ethereum obituaries

Dates of Note

Upcoming dates of note:

September 7-9 - ETHBerlin hackathon

September 7-9 - WyoHackathon (Wyoming)

September 8 - Ethereum Industry Summit (Hong Kong)

Sept 10 - Devcon4 final wave of tickets go on sale at 4pm PDT

September 12 - Maker DAO ‘Foundation Proposal’ vote

September 13-14 - EEA Tech Spec working group (NYC)

September 21-23 - EthAtlanta

Sept 29 - Oct 1 - Ethfinex’s governance summit (Lugano)

Oct 5-7 - TruffleCon in Portland - ROGUETIM discount code this weekend only

Oct 5-7 - ETHSanFrancisco hackathon

Oct 11 - Crypto Economics Security Conf (Berkeley)

Oct 22-24 - Web3Summit (Berlin)

Oct 24-25 - Winding Tree hackathon (Prague)

Oct 26-28 - Status hackathon (Prague)

Oct 28-30 - Ethereum Magicians Council of Prague

Oct 29 - Decentralized Insurance D1Conf (Prague)

Oct 30 - Nov 2 - Devcon4 (Prague)

Nov 2 - MetaMask to stop injecting web3

Nov 3-4 - Enterprise Ethereum hackathon (Prague)

Dec 7-9 - dGov distributed governance conf (Athens)

Dec 7-9 - ETHSingapore hackathon

If you appreciate this newsletter, thank ConsenSys

This newsletter is made possible by ConsenSys, which is perpetually hiring if you’re interested.

I own Week In Ethereum. As such, editorial control has always been 100% me.  If you're unhappy with editorial decisions, feel free to tweet at me.

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[coexistensis-blog]

Continued for @deviantchronicles

“Like I am intimidated by that,” he snapped. His lithe fingers were surprisingly strong when they buried in Vidar’s shoulder and tugged. “Get back here, before you know it those gashes get infected and I ain’t waiting for Nadav to come and save me from here.”

He felt, perhaps, slightly bad about the wound being his fault, it had been his own precarious balancing on the cliff that had caused Vidar to tug him back, and, he didn’t know why, had caused Hal to try and push the large man away from him, just over the edge.

“I’ll be quick.”

[deviantchronicles]

Oodly specific headcanon asks for all your muses. 2, 4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 22, 28, 29, 33, 43 & 48

Under a cut because looooooong

2.  What is their favorite piece of technology?Nadav: He is very, very fond of the large TV he’s got in his living room. Raziq: Absolutely his phone. Which is always the latest and greatest model he can get a hold of.Vidar: Vidar and technology don’t really get along, but it’s probably whatever has access to Netflix so he can watch movies with Peter.Niall: He doesn’t have all that much tech, so I guess it would be his phone?Braith: Doesn’t use all that much technology Henry: His speced out Macbook ProNehorai: Not much use for tech in the Trollmarket.Irving: His MP3 player. An Astell & Kern AK Jr.

4. Was their anything their parents pushed them to do? (e.g. sports, theatre, band)Nadav: Nadav grew up among the Sky Giants, or Jotun. So very early on he was pushed into their beliefs and patterns, disregarding his Satyr heritage.Raziq: From a very early age on, Raziq was trained in combat. It wasn’t always his favourite thing.Vidar: Before his pack was taken over, his father had tried to pressure Vidar for taking on a mate and form his own pack. Niall and Braith: Both twins grew up in the Seelie court. Neither of them had much interest in politics. Suffice it to say that a lot of what they were taught when they were children wasn’t exactly on the list of things they liked.Henry: Henry’s relationship to especially his father is complicated and I will eventually write it out. There were many, many things Henry was made to do that he did not want. A notable comment on this: Henry’s father does not have a high opinion on technology.Nehorai: Demons and parentage is not as straight forward, most of the time. He was urged to violence multiple times by the circle he grew up in, however.Irving: Nope, never. Irving’s mother, the only parent he knows, was always very supportive of what he wanted to do. Guess that is one of the bonuses of having a Nixie as a mother when one is a Fossegrim?

7. What was the most embarrassing moment in your muse’s life? Nadav: The first time his Satyr heritage caused someone else to get aroused and rather needy around him. Raziq: Despite knowing that Fate had wanted it that way, Raziq still has not quite recovered from stumbling over a cat and falling out of a window in one particular mission. He would never admit to the yelp that escaped him.Vidar: Probably having tried to catch a fish for the first time. It did not go well and ended up with a miserably wet werewolf.Niall: The day he was released from his imprisonment, weakened and injured from the iron net he had been captured with.Braith: The reason Braith has started looking into the prophecy and is now convinced that it is not true was that she had a small dalliance with a mortal, who not only left her, but also stole quite a few valuable items from her.Henry: When Henry received his degree, his father did not show. While all of his classmates were celebrating with their family, he was left alone.Nehorai: Don’t think he really has been embarrassed before. Not sure if he’s capable of it.Irving: Getting distracted enough by a pretty mortal to have his violin stolen.

12. What are some warning signs that your muse is getting depressed?  Nadav: He will retreat into himself and become very quiet.Raziq: Raziq is prone to outbursts and self-destructive behaviourVidar: Vidar will find a quiet spot far away from peopleNiall: Niall has a habit of becoming cruel when in emotional pain and he will go out of his way to mess with anyone he can find.Braith: Much like her brother, she becomes cruel, but it generally only shows in a more hostile environment in the Trollmarket. Trees becoming aggressive, everything turning darker and colder …Henry: He will bury himself in his work to a point of not sleeping or eating for days on end.Nehorai: Restless energy. He will create drawings upon drawings, only to destroy them again.Irving: Generally, Irving’s emotional state shows through his music.

15. Who do they tend to bicker with the most? Nadav: RaziqRaziq: NadavVidar: …. uhm …. I guess he does have a tendency to silently sass Nadav?Niall: Probably his sisterBraith: Probably her brotherHenry: Do his inventions count?Nehorai: (gotta have to pass on this, he needs some more development first)Irving: Irving rarely stays in one place long enough to have a relationship with someone that allows for friendly bickering.

18. Has your muse ever lived in poverty?Nadav: Yes. After being cast out by the Jotun, he has been wandering for a time Raziq: No. Fate has always provided for him.Vidar: Yes, and he still does, in a way. He does not need much, however and is quite capable of providing for himselfNiall: The Fae have no need for mortal moneyBraith: The Fae have no need for mortal moneyHenry: No, never. He has grown up rich and despite his strained relationship with his father, money was always what he had in abundanceNehorai: Demons don’t have a need for mortal moneyIrving: Until his violin was stolen, Irving has lived without mortal money. Now he busks to fund his travels, something that pays rather well, thanks to his special talents.

22. What is your muse most thankful for? Nadav: The Shafir family taking him in.Raziq: Raziq isn’t exactly the thankful type, I suppose?Vidar: Nadav saving him after his injuryNiall: Just like Raziq, he isn’t the thankful type. Braith: The loyalty and devotion of her subjects in the Trollmarket.Henry: His mother’s love, although that is connected to the pain of her lossNehorai: Braith giving him a safe place in the Market.Irving: (Again I have to pass. Still a new muse that I need to figure out completely)

28. What is the most common lie your muse tells themselves? Nadav: Nadav is rather blatantly honest, both with himself and with othersRaziq: Raziq likes to tell himself that he is doing ‘good’, despite the fact that the balance of the world may also require 'bad’ on occasion.Vidar: That he does not need others to be happyNiall: That he will stop feeling so empty once he finds his soulmateBraith: That she can escape her heritage or obligation to the courts.Henry: That he does not care about his father’s cruel treatment of himNehorai: (skipping again)Irving: I don’t think Irving tells himself lies. Not in the way this question suggests.

29. Has your muse ever had a pet? If so, what type? Nadav: The Shafir family had a family dog.Raziq: No time for pets with his lifestyleVidar: Does Peter count? ;)Niall: NoBraith: She has two Black Dogs that do her bidding, although she would not consider them pets and more companionsHenry: Henry had a dog when he was a young boy. The dog died when Henry was sixteen.Nehorai: NoIrving: No and Irving does not believe in keeping another living thing as 'property’.

33. What are your muse’s biggest pet peeves? Nadav: Wanna be Doms, probablyRaziq: Fashion faux pasVidar: People trying to talk to himNiall: PrideBraith: RudenessHenry: DisorderNehorai: Nehorai has a huge issue with human tattoos. Most are so SLOPPYIrving: Off key music

43. Describe the first person your muse remembers losing. Nadav: His mother. While she is still alive, being cast out from his tribe meant he had lost her forever. Despite what she is, she had been always kind to Nadav, singing to him and telling him stories when he was young.Raziq: His older sister Farrah. They were close, trained together and Farrah had always been the one to encourage him and restore his faith in Fate. She was one of the first ones to die in what the Half Djinn call The Culling. The slow, but methodical killing of their kind by an as of yet unknown force.Vidar: His father. A warm-hearted, kind man with a full-bellied laugh who had always wanted the best for his pack. His only fault, where Vidar is concerned, had been his inability to understand his son’s disinterest in finding a mateNiall: The young man who he had believed was his soulmate, according to the prophecy. A lively, bold young man. Niall still does not know what happened to him after his own imprisonment.Braith: While she did not loose her to death, loosing her lover to betrayal was probably worse for Braith. She had always seen the girl as someone kind and pure, but had to realise that that had been a lie. As a result, she does not take kindly to being lied toHenry: His mother. She had always been the one to be there for him and with her, he has grown up rather coddled. He had very few friends as a boy, spending most of his time with his mother.Nehorai: He has never been close enough to anyone to consider having 'lost’ someoneIrving: Does his violin count?

48. Who would your muse sacrifice themselves for, if anybody? Nadav: His loved ones. (Wilhelm, Raziq, Vidar, Cadfael, Hal, Andaag)Raziq: FateVidar: His loved ones. (Nadav and Peter)Niall: NobodyBraith: The Market and it’s occupantsHenry: He would sacrifice himself if there was a chance that would bring back his motherNehorai: NobodyIrving: (passing again)

[the-little-red-noodle]

8/28/17 5:54am

I am a victim of sexual assault. I could be or almost was a victim of rape. Yesterday I finally was able to truthfully verbalize what happened to me my freshmen year of high school. So I'm going to attempt to write it out and come to some conclusions. My college orientation had a seminar on sexual assault and sexual violence yesterday, and i found it more triggering than i anticipated. It was about being an upstander and intervening in a situation that could lead sexual assault and violence. They showed a video of an intoxicated woman being taken home and the beginning of a sexual assault, and all the places where someone could have intervened. Honestly, i had watched the video before and wasn't as triggered by it, but watching in the auditorium surrounded by my classmates, a chord was struck and i began thinking about what happened to me. All these years later and i think i am starting to see the gravity of the situation and how it could have been worse. So here goes. Sometime when I was a freshman (still blonde) my friend Sam wanted to hook up with this guy Nadav. She planned a sort of double date situation with her friend this guy Tucker, as he was friends with Nadav. Tucker's parents were out of the house for the night. I don't fully remember if his mom came back at some point, but I'll get to that. The plan that Sam explained to me was that the 4 of us would hang out, the. sam and Nadav would peel off to hookup in some bedroom at Tuckers house, then I would hang out with Tucker for a while until they were done. There was already neglect by my friend, but i guess since i knew Tucker and we were in the same friend group that it wouldn't be too bad. We got to Tuckers house and they had purchased a small bottle of vodka, maybe the size of a water bottle. It was meant to be shared between the 4 of us. It wasn't. Very quickly since we got there, Sam and Nadav were walking upstairs. Tucker and I were sitting on the couch and he was already being touchy with me, more than was comfortable. Then we started drinking. I don't remember whose idea it was, mine for the awkwardness or his for what he would plan to do to me, but either way we began taking sips from this bottle. I was under the impression that he was sharing it with me. But as it continued, i started to notice him faking swigs or taking very quick ones, and encouraged me to have more. When the bottle was finished, i began feeling the effects of the alcohol, and he started making more aggressive advancements. I remember getting up from the couch and largely stumbling for his to stand with him and try to stabilize me. He could have been sober enough to drive. I remember walking into a different part of his living room away from him. I was aware that the situation was dangerous and making me uncomfortable and not knowing what else to do but try to find things to distract ourselves with. I suggested playing with a few games and sat down, and that's when he started kissing me. He had his hand around my waist and was kissing my neck, and pulling my face towards his. His force was more than i could handle sober. I remember him pulling my face to kiss him despite my efforts to pull away. In this instance i am sure that someone would be able to tell that I was pulling away. He knew i didn't want this, but he was large and mostly sober and didn't care if he assaulted me. The next thing I remember is being on a bed. I don't remember how i got there. I don't remember the transition or what he said to get me there, which tells me that he knew i was too drunk to really give any kind of consent. He led my drunken body up the stairs to a guest room. I remember laying on this bed and staring at the ceiling. I remember flashes of his body on top of mine. I remember him kissing me and kissing parts of me below my neck. I remember him touching me inappropriately. And i remember not being able to stop it. I remember faint efforts to push him off me. Faint efforts to sit up. And faint efforts to speak. I literally could not speak. I just laid there experiencing this horror and began to black out. I don't remember exactly what he did to me that night other than the specifics. I know he touched me. He grabbed my chest and touched me between my legs. I don't know if more happened. The next thing i remember was seeing Sam and Nadav standing in the doorway. I remember one of them, probably Nadav, asking 'what's up' and Tucker replying 'it's good we're good'. Then I remember Sam asking me if I wanted to go home. I nodded. I remember not being able to speak or verbalize anything. My body was in shock and so severely intoxicated. But at least in some form there was intervention. I am hazey about whether or not I saw Tuckers mother that night or not. The next memory is a flash of Sam and I walking home. I remember a flash of her laughing 'Ha you hooked up with Tucker! Ew'. The next is laying face down on the carpet of Sam's room. I remember having my face itch against the carpet and being so intoxicated that i couldn't even lift my head to be comfortable. Somehow i instinctually managed to crawl myself to her bathroom where i threw up in the toilet. I remember a flash of green vomit with black dots. I'm not sure if that was real or a corrupted memory. What happened to me was sexual assault and an act of sexual violence. I am the victim. I took blame for this event for so many years but now accept that the survivor is never at fault. The blame is on the perpetrator. Tucker was my assailant. He coerced me physically, took advantage of me, used alcohol as a tool to commit this act while he remained coherent, and assaulted me. What kills me still is not knowing what really happened that night. I don't remember what happened. I have these flashes of memory but i can't fill it in. I don't know if he got under my clothes. I don't know if he had sex with me. I don't know at what point people came into the room. My memory blacks out, and i don't know if i was ever fully unconscious or how long it was before i saw my friend in the doorway. But the thing to pull away here is that not only did this happen to me, but there are other girls who were sexually assaulted by him. Another girl that was raped. And I'm sure many more that i don't know about who haven't shared their story. Now that I've finally accepted what happened and I'm calling it for how it is, truthfully, i don't know what the next step is. Do i talk to a survivor advocate? Do i talk to my therapist? Do i talk to parents and search out legal help. Do i bring this to trial. Or do i confront this person. This came to light because of my orientation and my college stressing the importance of learning about these topics. We watched this seminar and then split into our groups. This group i had been with all week, of other transfers and exchange students. We sat in a circle to talk about this and i felt triggered by what i had saw. But eventually i spoke up. Another boy in our group said something along the lines of 'I've never seen myself as someone who would intervene. I don't know how to go about it' then flynn asked if anyone had a response to that, and i jumped in. I said don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself. Don't be afraid to inject yourself into the situation because it could really make a difference. Then i paused and said, can i share something with the group. I am a survivor of sexual assault, and what would have been a rape had somebody not intervened. So even if you're unsure or you think people will deal with it on their own, they could be silently hoping that someone like you would say something and get them out of there. I know the feeling of owing my life to the person that intervened in my situation, and the fact that someone could feel like that for you helping them, that's important. After going through it, I realize that Sam could have done so much more as my friend to protect me from this person and offer support for what happened to me, she did get me home that night. She was the one who asked me if i wanted to leave. So in that sense, I am grateful. But the point still stands that intervention is important. It's so important. I guess that's a positive of what came out of this talk with people. I was able to affirm the truth of what happened to me, and take on the responsibility of making sure that this does not happen to anyone under my watch. Protect your friends and protect strangers. Trust your gut if something doesn't look right or someones in trouble. I'm pledging now to not let fear of annoying people stop me from making sure someone is okay. I will try to intervene if i see something happening. I don't want anyone to have to experience what I did or anything worse. Stay tuned.

[oneshul]

Tetzaveh: The Sons of Aaron

Scene: The Mishkan, God’s sacred Dwelling-Place in the Wilderness; specifically,the Brass Altar, whereon various sacrifices are burned. The sun is setting. The Altar apparatus, used to placate, thank, or bless the LORD GOD, is tended by the Sons of Aaron: Nadav, Avihu, Elazar, and Itamar. The four boys—young men, really—are sprawled against the base of the Altar, resting from the day’s work of offering sacrifices. Their Priestly Garb is covered with soot and ash, and they are clearly exhausted from the work of slaughtering the beasts which the Israelites bring as offerings, cutting them up, separating out the edible portions permitted to themselves and their families (hekdesh—holy parts designated for the Priesthood), and burning the entrails, the fat, and the various body parts to God. Enter Aaron, looking spotless in his Priestly raiment: his golden headpiece, labeled “Holy to God�� gleams in the dying sunlight. He shakes his head at his four sons—he is proud of them; they will replace him, one day, but he cannot abide their slovenliness.

 Aaron: I’m glad that you’re taking a break, boys. I’m going home for supper. Make sure that you clean up all the offal, scrub the Altar, and polish it with the special wax that Bezalel provided. I don’t want to see even the slightest speck of dirt or ash, come tomorrow morning.

All the Sons: Yes, Sir, Papa. We’ll do a good job. You can depend on us.

Aaron: See that you do (He exits).

Avihu: (mimicking Aaron): “Clean this all up, Boys. Don’t you even think of going home to your wives, until you scrub and polish and wax every cubit of the Altar.” You know, Papa can be a bit of a martinet, sometimes.

Elazar: He is entitled to be; he is the High Priest of God, and I, for one, feel privileged to work here, at the Altar. We Priests do not have to herd sheep and goats; we are the means by which the Israelites can atone for their sins. This is an honor. (Itamar nods vigorously; Nadav and Avihu frown at Elazar, and mutter under their breath.)

Nadav: Master Elazar, will it please you to get some clean rags for us to begin the holy work of cleaning Papa’s altar? I’m sure scrubbing off tons of soot will give you much pleasure.

Elazar: Brother Nadav, do not tease me. God honors us, by allowing us to serve in His Presence.

Avihu (yawning): I think God’s a fable.

Nadav: Aye, well may you think so, until experience teach you otherwise.

Elazar: How can you utter such blasphemy? You, Avihu, are a priest of the One True God, and ought to speak in a more holy fashion.

Avihu: Do not tempt me, Baby Brother; I am bigger and stronger than you, and can do you hurt, should I wish to.

Itamar: Brothers, brothers—how can we quarrel here, in the very shadow of God’s Presence? He may be listening to what we say—Nadav, Avihu, please stop your questioning God; He may, God forbid, choose to punish you. As priests, we are held to the highest standards of behavior.

Nadav (rising): I am bone-weary in this abattoir, and yet must clean and polish this—this—monstrosity of an altar. In Egypt, I remember, the pagan priests had not one altar, but several; they were mainly mud or stone, and needed no special care. But this great hunk of brass—(he spits contemptuously).

Elazar: Please, Nadav, I beg you. The God of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps. Be aware of three things, and you will not sin: A Seeing Eye, a Hearing Ear, and All Your Deeds Written in a Book.

Avihu: Written by whom? Your Invisible God? I tell you, Elazar, you simpleton, I would rather worship Ra, or Osiris, or any of the Egyptian gods. They are visible; they are statues—

Itamar: You mean, idols, such as Uncle Moses expressly forbade when he was reading us the Law from Mt. Sinai.

Avihu: Yes; I was there, and I heard, along with the multitude. And now, through no fault of my own, I am covered with soot and dung, and my ears still ring with the lowing of cattle. This is no job for a young, enterprising man such as I. Oh, if I could only choose my own profession, rather than be drafted and dragooned into the family business!

Elazar: This is no mere business, Avihu; mind your tongue! This is Holy Work, such as no other man can possibly perform, even from the multitudes of Israel.

(Avihu spits at Elazar’s feet)

Avihu: Well, Brother, how will you respond to me? Will you cry out unto the Lord your God? For I tell you, I have yet to see any miracles which He performs.

Itamar: How can you say that? You stood at Sinai; the Sea of Reeds lapped at your sandals while the Egyptians drowned in the tide; you were among the blessed horde which escaped the slave-rule of the mightiest nation on earth: Egypt.

Nadav: Ah! How can you prove this? Perhaps it was all a dream, and this God of yours put us all in a trance. Perhaps it never happened.

(Enter BOY)

Elazar (gently): Well, Young Master Choni ben Maagal, what is your message?

Boy: If it please you, Reverend Sirs, Rabbi Moses our Leader has sent me. You must prepare to dedicate the Mishkan, the Sacred Dwelling-Place for our Lord God. This will take place next week.

Nadav: Who will dedicate this holy, stately pile? All of us?

Boy: No, Lord Nadav; Moses informed me, and the High Priest Aaron, too, that the two older priests—you and your brother, Lord Avihu—will officiate at the Dedication. It will be a matter of great import and solemnity. Shalom, and may God bless your endeavors! (He exits)

Avihu: So there you have it, Nadav: you and I, the Doubters, are to stand before all Israel, and dedicate this—this Dwelling-Place for the God in whom we do not, necessarily, believe.

Itamar: How ironic! Would it not be better for Elazar and me, as True Believers, to officiate? You two could beg off—

Nadav (seizing Itamar by the arm, twisting it, and forcing him to his knees): Listen to me, you whelp: I am the First-Born, and by rights will stand before the—the—Invisible One, say the prayers, slaughter the animals, and burn them to a crisp. And afterwards—

Elazar: Nadav, I beg you, let Brother Itamar go! (Nadav does so)

Nadav: And afterwards, you little sneak, I will take you behind the Tent of Meeting, and  pummel you until you bleed. How dare you presume to upstage me, your eldest brother! (He releases Itamar, who holds his arm painfully, and retreats)

Avihu: Yes: to officiate before the eyes of all Israel. That will be a good thing.

Itamar (from a distance, keeping an eye on Nadav): But you do not believe!

Nadav: But the honor, the honor of it all! And to have everyone looking at me! Believe or not believe—who cares? How splendid it will all be! The ceremony! The trumpets! And to have Papa see how talented Avihu and I are! (They exit, laughing and prideful)

Itamar (whispering to Elazar): I only pray that nothing happens to them—they are headstrong; they are agnostics, and they will be dealing with Cosmic Forces beyond their control.

(Elazar and Itamar exit)

Rabbi David Hartley Mark is from New York City’s Lower East Side. He attended Yeshiva University, the City University of NY Graduate Center for English Literature, and received semicha at the Academy for Jewish Religion. He currently teaches English at Everglades University in Boca Raton, FL, and has a Shabbat pulpit at Temple Sholom of Pompano Beach. His literary tastes run to Isaac Bashevis Singer, Stephen King, King David, Kohelet, Christopher Marlowe, and the Harlem Renaissance.